#and then pulled out a gay flag during take me to church

[hanaaria]

saw hozier live today and literally the only thing i can say is that it was quite literally a spiritual experience

[dishesoap]

my sister shares a video on facebook, some art piece with poetry and acting about how a man has to decide if he'll kiss his boyfriend goodbye in public. hes worried, because people around him scream or glare or proselytize or pull him away. our old high school teacher comments on the video and tells her "dont be paranoid, there are plenty of us who believe in living and let living and not to judge".

paranoia: mental illness characterized by systematized delusions of persecution, a tendency on the part of an individual or group toward excessive or irrational suspiciousness and distrustfulness of others

dont be paranoid. mental illness, delusions of persecution, excessive and irrational suspiciousness. lots of people wont judge, lest they be judged. stop making a big deal out of this, youre being irrational.

i wear a bag with a small rainbow pin on it and get hate thrown at me just as i walk down the street. children are thrown out of their homes, couples are denied homes to buy. i hang a huge rainbow flag in my apartment and jump through hoops so my mother never sees it.

dont be paranoid. when i went to school with you, mr my-former-high-school-teacher, i got in trouble for cutting my hair short and wearing a tie. two of my girl friends, catholic as can be, tried to take each other to prom as friends to get the discounted pair-tickets just to save a few bucks and were shut down immediately - because thatd be gay.

dont be paranoid. i went to a gay club the other night, and got grabbed by multiple men who saw a pretty girl dancing with her friends and couldnt possibly conceive of her being gay. my dad leans over at mass and makes a snickering crude comment about nonbinary people and an altar server girl who looks a little masculine. my mother calls my sisters fianceé 'that girl', unable to even say her name without shuddering.

dont be paranoid. i mention an ex girlfriend in my college class one day and see rows of startled looks and winces and i see a few people start to avoid me. someone invites me to her weekly church meetings, and i see her post something homophobic on facebook a few days later. i told my first actual boyfriend that i thought i might be bisexual and he told me he was uncomfortable and asked me not to talk about it anymore. years later a man hit on me and i told him i was lesbian and... he told me exactly what he thought about that.

dont be paranoid. im not out to everyone, you know. i hear what they say about us, i hear it as they lean over during mass and whisper it and i hear them during dinner conversations. and i hear what they say, what they scream, out loud, in public. and i see what they do. i see them corner us in dark alleys and i see them shoot up our clubs and i see them deny us human rights and i see them in half the world line us up against walls and let loose.

"dont be paranoid", he says, "there are plenty of us who dont judge." sure there are. you stand by and you dont judge as the school dean calls me into his office and says that its not technically against school dress code but i cant cut my hair like this anymore, its too masculine. you stand by and dont judge as people attack my sister over her life choices. you stand by and you dont judge as we are hated and spat on and beaten, because you dont judge the other side either and we are dying and you tell us we are being paranoid.

[otmacamera]

Queen Marie of Roumania on the visit of the Imperial family (1st June/13th June 1914)

Photo : Alexandra Feodorovna, Maria Nikolaevna, Olga Nikolaevna and Crown Princess Marie, 1st June 1914. from: Olga Nikolaevna's 1913-1914 Album

[meridianrose]

“Last Temptation of Midnight”

Not a full review more of an overview and a rant.

Midnight continues to be both entertaining and to increasingly piss me off.

Manfred running away because he's scared of his destiny; acceptable. Manfred running away because his dull love interest broke up him; not acceptable. The latter implies he doesn't even care about saving the town (the world?) or anyone else. None of his friends matter, just the woman he's been screwing. And few things piss me off as much as the false relationship hiearcharcy of "person you're screwing" at the top and every other relationship way down below.

Xylda tells him she had a vision of his destiny but didn't do enough to prepare him. Very trope-y, the unprepared/reluctant hero. Not buying teetotal Xylda, she's one of the few non-Puritans in the Harris novels. Nasty "be sober at all times if you have a child" vibe. She was smoking a hookah pipe in one episode for God's sake. And I seem to recall her chainsmoking in the Grave Secret novels. Hence the throat cancer. Would have been better off giving up the cigarettes than the gin. The flashbacks show her affection but also failings in raising a psychic.

With no pills left, no phone reception, and the van broken down, Manfred starts walking. He veers off the path, a good use of tropes around the dangers of leaving the trail and the spirtual experience of a walkabout.

Back in town things are getting nasty. This seems to be drawing on the final book of the trilogy, where people are ritualistically commiting suicide at the crossroads to bring forth the demon (according to the blurb and my knowledge of the other books). Crossroads are a mystical power source, traditionally. Fiji prevents a suicide. Everyone meets in the church. They need to do something. Joe's taken Chuy out of town before his demon-half takes over, Manfred's run away. It's up to them. Also Creek's father left her the deed to the house so she can move the hell out of Manfred's place. The only sensible thing for her to do at this point is to rent/sell that property and leave town, go to college as she wanted, far from the demon. But her sole job is to be the thin white girlfriend so she's going to stay :/

The "priest" hoping to ressurect the demon is killing people on the way to Midnight, stealing their faces and has stolen a van to put the bodies in to offer them as a sacrifice. When Manfred's RV breaks down he wanders off to get help.

Not buying Manfred's withdrawl either. Don't know how many painkillers he was taking but he had one left and it would take a while for symptoms to kick in I think (and he gets over it pretty quick too). His vomiting and brief collapse serves as the episode's Manfred whump which happens every episode. I'm not complaining about the whump, far from it, though some more hurt/comfort than outright whump would be nice too.

While Manfred is lying in the sand Xylda appears, no longer tethered to the van, to encourage him and then pass over. They don't even get a proper goodbye (she says they spent a year doing it when she was dying from cancer). Manfred staggers off, no longer in withdrawal, possibly hypothermic, hasn't even had a drink - his RV frige always had beer and soda in it, why didn't he take something with him before he wandered off into the desert.

I bet we'll never really address Manfred's grief. He may have mourned before but she was still with him and now she's gone. And Xylda was a great character and I'm annoyed they wrote her out and I'll come back to that later.

Manfred flags down the creepy priest but sees the ghosts of the dead. He jumps from the vehicle and runs but secretly doubles back and hides in the back with the bodies. He finds a cellphone and calls Fiji, who's glad to hear from him. He warns her that the bodies are being brought to raise the demon.

Fiji makes a potion to stop people being compelled by the demon who's going after the supernatural and the humans who are sad. The Rev is eating meat while Lem gets hungry for Olivia's blood. Lem and Olivia have a fight. He wants to turn her. She doesn't want it. I'd have preferred him just being overwhelmed by his hunger and unable to control himself at all, that would be easier to forgive I think. It's very physical. Olivia's a badass but she's still just a human female. It's brutal to watch in places. Also how/why bother to cut her hair during this situation?!

Creek wanders around being Sad and the poor acting really shows here. Maybe a better actor would give the one dimensional character more depth. Manfred arrives seconds before she kills herself for the demon. "Creek's not the only one acting out of characer," Fiji says, dosing her with the antidote to compulsion. You call that acting? Character? OOC?

Manfred goes to help distribute the antidote and sprays Lem before he can turn Olivia. He asks them to table whatever "this is" until they deal with the demon.

All the bodies are piled up to bring forth the demon. It's called Colconnar which might help them defeat it, to know what they're dealing with. It wants Fiji. Manfred calls on the spirits of the dead to help. Together they shove the priest into the flames. Fire comes forth, Manfred pulling Fiji back in a hug, a moment I loved. They're safe for the moment but the sacrifice has been made. Bobo promises he won't let the demon take Fiji.

Manfred's RV is still in the desert. I hope he gets it back. Lots of his stuff is still in there - most of the occult items were stored there. Manfred sums up Xylda's loss as "Xylda moved on. Which is how it's supposed to be." Really show? That’s it? In an attempt to show she's not completely devoid of affection Creek asks if he's okay. Manfred's going without pills despite headaches. You could get some over the counter stuff you idiot instead of completely going without. And maybe Fiji has something that can help or a book that can teach you to better manage your abilities.

Creek asks "Why did you come back?"

"I had to come back, it's my destiny to save the town, prevent this demon from entering our world. I had to protect my friends." Is not what Manfred says even though it's true he finally accepted his destiny and at the start of the show the writers acknowledged Manfred's friendships instead of pushing only Creek at him.

"I came back so I can stick my penis in you when you stop sulking." Is not what Manfred says but what the writers mean. They're obsessed with this dull ship - why does he like her? Unattached white girl is all she's got going for her. We never see them talk about anything but her fucked up family (now all gone) and how that impacts on their screwing. Not a single shared interest or complentary quality between them. Why should I care about them? I rewatched "Deadpool" this week. Wade/Vanessa is a ship rooted in sex but they have more than that. He takes her on a date when he's paid for sex that first time. They're both geeks. They play a "whose life is worse" game as flirty banter. She's determined to save him when he's diagnosed while he's resigned. He leaves to spare her seeing him suffer (she's rightfully angry) and won't return because he thinks she can't love his damaged face (he's wrong). In an anti-hero action movie there is the love story the trailer promised and they make me believe they love each other.

"Naked truth? Um What you and I started, it's, um I never felt that with anyone." Is what Manfred does say because he's goddamn obsessed with her for no earthly reason (supernatural reason? I'd buy that :P) "And I I get that a lot's happened, and I get that you need time to process, and I'll give you that time. But when, or if, you ever feel ready to pick up where we left off, well you know where I live." aka please resume our fucking. "Besides, my RV's dead"  pretty sure you can find a mechanic. Stop taking away everything from Manfred’s pre-Creek life. Let him stay because he wants to, not because his van is broken down. "and Midnight's as close to a home as I've ever had" FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THAT "so I figure, if the veil to hell is opening, might as well stay, fight for it." Don’t sound too enthusiastic about saving the world Manfred! :P

Final note about Xylda: it comes off that he doesn't need her now because he has Creek. Once again, "person you're screwing" over all other relationships. If you have to sideline or erase all other relationships to push your ship, you're doing it wrong. Give me the close friend as well as the lover. That way when things get tough they have other people to talk to. Your lover should be your friend but you should have other people in your life.

Joe will come back next episode yes, because can at least one of the only confirmed gay/non-straight characters* make another appearance please and who better to fight a demon than a fallen angel? *Bisexual Olivia? Bisexual Fiji? Bisexual Bobo? And do we know if Joe and Chuy are gay or bi? What about the Rev? Is Lem straight? Still here for actually asexual Manfred, bisexual Manfred, or Grey-ace Bi Manfred. Here for many diverse sexual and romantic orientations (biromantic heterosexual Fiji?). Just not here for the bland “because we said so” ships.

[jnat4life]

So I am in a vulnerable state right now.

I actually had a summer relationship that pretty much took lot of my free time. The person of interest had a name. His name is Kyle. It was with a 29-year old black gay man, very nerdy appeal, very intelligent. Very much my type physically. We met online and we just started hanging out. No real dates (but just spending time together). I learned that he, one month prior, started a new job and ended a one and half year relationship with someone he, I later learned, was deeply in love with and arguably the love of his life.

We started meeting at bars and restaurants and I didn’t really know much about the city of New Orleans. So, honestly, he was a bit of an introduction for me to the city outside of the French Quarter.

We spent a lot of time together and it eventually went quickly. And I can actually pinpoint the weekend where I really knew I enjoyed spending time with him.

I remember the weekend of Boogaloo Bayou. I remember that Friday night that I told him that I enjoyed spending time with him. That Saturday, we took a two hour walk to the Bayou Savage Wildlife Refuge. He discussed his family and inquired about my life growing up. To be honest, I told him in so much detail about my life and how I grew up that I realized that I never told that much detail to other guys I’ve dated. And I got the feeling that he genuinely seemed interested. That Sunday, he came over to my apartment after church and hung out. I remember wanting to give him a kiss all day but wondering if he would even receive it. It was during Homecoming on Netflixx that I gave him a kiss. I tried to cuddle but he never would relax to enjoy the cuddle. The thing about him was that was most impressive were the nature of the conversations we’d share. And especially after sharing how I grew up. I started to become increasingly more comfortable with him.

Was he my type physically? Yes. But that can be a dime a dozen. I was more interested in his conversation. We would have pretty interesting discussions: he could talk about his admiration for Kamalah Harris, I turned him on to Mayor Pete Buttigieg (who I was still having conflicts myself), how he had immense respect for Beyonce, how crude Charlamagne the God is, or him educating me on the different painting media for artwork, because I hadn’t really payed much attention to it, because art is not a prime interest of mine.

But there are some signals that I saw very quickly about him and that ultimately led me to pull back.

He could, at times, come across crass and seemingly judgmental. And I learned that he attended a year in law school. It made sense because he always thought in logical terms, ALMOST ALWAYS. And to be me, not everything in a relationship, is completely rational. So these things consistently started to unnerve me.

But over time, I would get the sense that he would indirectly question or interrogate me. For instance, a whole text conversation about how older men who seek younger men to control them and that was a red flag. And how I had to justify that that was not the manner in which I behave and how he never sensed that in me. Oftentimes, in this discussion, his tone seemed indicting, but he would disclaim it, as I’m not talking about you. But now, I’m becoming hyperaware of my behavior, because he is sensitive to this situation.

In fact, I realized that I started to become hyperaware of a lot of things in are interactions. And I have a bad quality of doing that when I really like some, when I value who they are, and have a romantic interest in them. And in my experience, when someone speaks of a theoretical sense about a situation that seems very close to home, that’s an almost definite sign of hesitation on the other party’s thinking.

I realize that during conversations, he could get so heated that he’d talk over me or attempt to discredit my point of view. Other times, he could challenge how I saw and thought about things and ultimately made me take a look at myself. But it also made me question, if he valued my perspective at all.

I remember when I would see him in a particular view or particular smile, it would make me smile or lean over and kiss him. However, I started to wonder after a couple of weeks about something. I have the ability to wonder if something one party appears to be acquiesce because I’m nice and indulges me for other reasons that are unbeknownst to me. So I started to not initiate the kiss but he would and the kisses did not seem the same. Something just felt off.

I remember the moment that I knew that I wasn’t the one for him. He would bring up his ex on multiple occassions but he told me about this one guy of whom I reminded him. This guy seemed straight-laced, middle-of-the-road, and he said that the guy had feelings for him. But that he never felt those feelings back and broke off everything. At that point, I knew….I’m not his type. This wouldn’t last. But I never said it.  He even mentioned that early on that he needed to change the way he looked at guys because he would find himself dating the wrong person.

Needless to say, it came to a head and we split ways. But he cited many things for the split. He concluded that we have different value systems and beliefs that make a relationship between us almost impossible for him.

There is so much that I have to say about all of this and to be honest, I accept the challenge. He, as part of our break-up, actually reduced by existence to me living in a “bubble world of Jeff.” He told me that he did not understand what really matters to me, whats really important to me. And he, indirectly, described my life as self-centered and challenged me to dispute that claim. And he challenged me to do it, while in an active discussion of us breaking up, when I started to feel myself unravel and attempted to emotively hide , although verbally express, my hurt and my disappointment.

Now I realize I have shortcomings too. One is doubt. I, often, doubt if the other person in the relationship really wants to engage in this relationship and at times, my actions may actually signal doubt. I’m one that needs some level of reassurance, initiation of intimacy, expressive love languages, gift giving, something that reinforces that the feeling is a minimum, mutually shared. And Kyle.....Kyle never did that. 

When I think about, I don’t think I had the mental flexibility in that mixed emotional state of anger and pain to really attempt to respond to the exact ways his depiction of me was a miscategorization. But the only way I knew how to respond appropriately, was to write it. So I will. Over the next fews days, I will just write about of some his misgivings of me and post them in my blog.

Why? Not necessarily to make rebuttal to his claims (although it eventually has a dual function to be this too), but to actually work through some of my thinking and feelings and personal change, as a result of the relation. In all honesty, for several hours, I really started to believe that I was self-centered, living in a bubble world, indifferent to the world around me. But ultimately, I “snapped myself” out of my love haze, to really challenge that this is a miscategorization. One thing, I know, is that I’m one of those “googly-eye, seeing my partner with rose-colored glasses type of people.” It does not necessarily show externally but my thoughts have that energy.

But now, I have charged myself with the task to refute a miscategorization that is so inept and to dissuade myself in believe this weak-minded thinking. How can I think so poorly as to let someone who doesn’t really attempt to learn things about me that are blatantly in front of his eyes to miscategorize who I am as a person. I realize that Kyle will likely never read my blog, like had done previously. But if he wanted to he could.

He does make some points but he also miss the mark quite far away. 

And ultimately, this is the second time my emotions have gotten the best of me and have made me hyperaware of how I behave around the person in who I have developed an interest. 

This is to my detriment, not my benefit.

[cowboystatic]

DUDE HOW WAS HOZIER LAST NIGHT?

my gay ass was living for it. cherry wine live??? nut. not to mention from eden oh my God. the ancient fae jumped out for that one. pulling out a pride flag during take me to church? the true gay agenda

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

It would be fair to say that Pete Butttigieg is experiencing something of a moment. Again.

Earlier this year, he splashed down into America’s consiousness as the young, gay, veteran mayor of South Bend, Indiana, who wanted to be president and would definitely appear on your podcast or morning show. His press coverage was so ubiquitous that it merited a profile of the person arranging it, his communications director, Lis Smith, and helped get him a bump in the polls and fundraising. But the Democratic primary race got crowded and others had their moments, too. Buttigieg faded somewhat — he fell from an 8.4 percent peak in the Real Clear Politics national average and settled into the 4 to 6 percent range. He was a nice young man who always looked dressed for a wedding dance floor — suit pants, shirt and tie, but rarely a jacket — who would perhaps have his shot somewhere down the line, but not now.

That changed this fall. Buttigieg has surged back into the conversation about who the top tier of candidates really are. (He recently said he thought the race was getting down to a two-way one between himself and Sen. Elizabeth Warren.) That confidence — or overconfidence, depending on who you’re talking to — has to do in large part with his performance in Iowa polls and in the money race. The most recent Monmouth University poll of the state shows him leading the race at 22 percent. Buttigieg raised more money than Joe Biden, the leader in national polls, according to third-quarter fundraising reports, trailing only Sen. Bernie Sanders and Warren in the cash grab.

As voters have developed Goldilocks syndrome about the leading Democratic candidates — too old, too liberal, too … female? — Buttigieg has benefitted from the strong vanilla flavor of his political porridge.

Which is why I found myself on a curb in Manchester, New Hampshire, on a recent morning, waiting for the Buttigieg campaign bus to arrive. When it pulled up in all its tricked-out Trailways glory, it was promptly loaded with the suitcases of a couple dozen journalists, who then headed into the Rex Theatre, where a moderate-sized crowd of New Englanders waited. The Veterans Day weekend bus tour junket had begun.

Inside, country music and Lizzo played while people milled about, dutifully sporting all manner of “Pete” gear. The campaign’s main colors are blue and gold, same as his hometown University of Notre Dame. But according to the campaign’s official “color story,” the gold is actually “Heartland Yellow” and there are all manner of blues, including one called “Calm Blue” that appears next to a picture of Buttigieg himself. The page notes, “Pete Buttigieg is unapologetically substantive yet salt-of-the-earth.” A more succinct rendering of the Buttigieg campaign ethos you could not find.

Many of the voters at the morning event were older and seemed interested in what they saw as Buttigieg’s potentially broad appeal. Janice Williamson, 67, of Wakefield, Massachusetts, and Diane Gaucher, “older than she is,” of Manchester, said they were Buttigieg-curious in large part because of his seeming strategic advantage in the race — his “electability,” to use the language of punditry.

“I feel he’s well positioned,” Gaucher said. “The country is ready for a more gentle approach.” Williamson said she liked Biden, but felt he was too old. As for Warren? “When I hear her talk, I want to slap her, even if I agree with her,” she said.

As voters have developed Goldilocks syndrome about the leading Democratic candidates — too old, too liberal, too … female? — Buttigieg has benefitted from the strong vanilla flavor of his political porridge. His stump speech is about “American values, correctly understood,” addresses “the crisis of belonging,” scolds the “cheap nationalism of hugging the flag” and encourages “Republicans of conscience” to come on into the Democratic Party.

Joe Raedle / Getty Images

Like Biden, Buttigieg is selling voters on a nostalgic return to some age of innocence and patriotism that existed before Trump. The next target is New Hampshire, where he’s mostly been trailing Biden, Warren and Sanders in polls. The Buttigieg team is betting that the momentum of good performances in these two early states will leapfrog their candidate into the broader Democratic primary voter consciousness — think California and other Super Tuesday states.

“Figuring out a way to call on white Americans to think about race, to be conscious of race without triggering the immediate kind of defensive mechanisms or going into this place of apology and guilt that also isn’t always productive, that’s really tough,” Buttigieg said.

But while fundraising is healthy and Iowa and New Hampshire are filled with just his kind of voters — white and college educated — Buttigieg has struggled to build broader appeal among voters of color, a critical constituency in the party’s electorate. He’s down by double digits in recent polls of Nevada, a heavily Latino state, and is far behind the pack in South Carolina, a stronghold of critical black votes. He’ll need to capture their support or his moment could be fleeting.

The Buttigieg bus is a part of the same clever nostalgia play as his stump speech. The tour is a nod to John McCain’s “Straight Talk Express,” which barrelled through New Hampshire during the 2000 primary loaded with journalists and an off-the-cuff candidate. (Call Buttigieg’s version a “schtick” and you get a healthy eyeroll from his staff.) But Buttigieg isn’t exactly an off-the-cuff guy, and his maneuvering to the top of the heap has been deliberate, seizing on the weaknesses of the two frontrunners, Biden and Warren. His “Medicare for All Who Want It” plan — basically a public option with a heavy dose of “we won’t take away your private insurance and God-given freedom” rhetoric — is a savvy play to the center. It’s meant to grant safe harbor to Democrats who think Warren’s Medicare for All plan is too radical a move. (Warren and Buttigieg voters are white and college educated, though her supporters tend to be much more ideologically liberal than his.) Warren-interested voters might be attracted to his sheen of intellectualism (the foreign languages, Oxford, yada, yada, yada) and some of the policy reforms he’s suggested but rarely mentions on the stump these days, like getting rid of the Electoral College and changing the makeup of the Supreme Court.

He brought up these so-called “democracy reforms,” along with automation and K-12 education, when I asked him what he’d like the primary campaign to be about besides just health care reform, an issue that has far and away come to dominate the race. Still, he conceded the role he believes health care has played in his rise. “The value of the health care debate is it helps you see what it looks like to have a very progressive proposal that’s not as alienating or extreme as some of the alternatives. So to that extent, it helps me convey what we’re trying to do in this campaign.”

The campaign’s message of moderation is one that, theoretically, could speak to black voters just as well as it does to Buttigieg’s base of white ones. Black Democrats tend to identify as more moderate or conservative than white Democrats and so far in the primary, they’ve tended to lean toward Biden’s camp. And Buttigieg’s rise once again has brought a hefty dose of criticism that he can’t seem to appeal to voters of color.

“A huge part of whiteness, at least in America, is being able to not have to think about race much,” Buttigieg said.

When I asked what retail politics steps he was taking to appeal to black voters, Buttigieg brought up church visits — he thinks his faith is one central point of connection with black audiences — and an appeal to black sororities, which he called “a huge area of social capital.” But did he feel as if he was playing catch-up in forming relationships in the black community?

“We need to engage a lot of folks in ways that are beyond the kind of visible on the record kind of appearances,” he said. “I think that there’s a level of catch up really throughout the whole campaign, just because I don’t have years or decades of national exposure or Washington experience to lean on.” This lack of experience and his presumption to the office has grated on his rivals with longer resumes; several are quoted in a recent New York Times story with the headline, “Why Pete Buttigieg Annoys His Democratic Rivals.”

In the afternoon, the bus stopped in Stratham for a “barn party,” which was like a regular old voter town hall, except held in an uninsulated barn in 26-degree weather. The candidate entered cinematically through doors draped in American flags and wore only a short leather jacket slightly reminiscent of Obama’s post-presidency “cool dad” wardrobe. Buttigieg gave his speech and then it was time for questions. One woman, who was white — as was much of the crowd — stood up and expressed concern about Buttigieg’s lack of appeal to black voters. How would he improve the criminal justice system, she asked? “That’s the problem they have.”

Buttigieg gave an answer about racial inequalities that appear more broadly in American life and ended with what seemed like a gentle admonition about generalizations, “We’ve got to talk about this in majority white audiences too.”

The event ended and the press corps hustled onto the warm bus for another hour-long drive. Reporters asked about his experience level, impeachment, the fact that he resonates so much with Boomers — “I sometimes wonder what a 19-year-old me would have thought” — tax policy and health care. It was the third ride of the day, which meant it was the third time reporters had peppered Buttigieg with queries for an hour or so. At a certain point, even inquisitive journalists start to run out of earth-shattering questions. I asked what he was reading. A Roman history, a Seneca book — “it’s very quotable” he said of the stoic philosopher — and someone had given him James Baldwin’s “The Fire Next Time,” which he was rereading for the first time since college. “His account of whiteness was very timely,” Buttigieg said. Did he think a lot about whiteness on the campaign trail, I asked? Was he able to appeal to swing voters — likely more conservative — in part because he’s white (and they’re probably white too)?

“One thing I’ve found, definitely engaging with white law enforcement officers back home, is the struggle in terms of the readiness of a lot of white folks to engage issues of race can’t be overestimated,” he said. South Bend’s police department and Buttigieg himself have been under scrutiny since the summer, when a white officer shot and killed Eric Logan, a 54-year-old black man. During a town hall held after the shooting, residents were openly confrontational with Buttigieg about his failures. “The real problem I think is you’ve got people who have a self-conception such that they can be horrified by the implications that they are in any way biased or racist having therefore a very hard time confronting the fact that everyone has biases. And added to that the fact that everyone has a race, everyone’s implicated in a racialized reality. But a huge part of whiteness, at least in America, is being able to not have to think about race much.”

My last glimpse of him was through a cracked door, watching a TV tuned to CNN as he tied his tie one last time for the day. It felt a little like watching someone put on their armor.

Implicitly, the conversation turned to interactions with voters, like the one in Stratham who’d made a comment about black Americans and “the problem they have” with the criminal justice system.

“Figuring out a way to call on white Americans to think about race, to be conscious of race without triggering the immediate kind of defensive mechanisms or going into this place of apology and guilt that also isn’t always productive, that’s really tough,” Buttigieg said. “It’s really tough for something as sensitive and risk averse as electoral politics to struggle with. But America has no better mechanism for handling any social challenge than the American presidential election. It is the place that brings everybody into one conversation.”

The bus was pulling up to the last event of the day, another town hall, this one much bigger than the morning’s. Reporters gathered their coats and recorders and Buttigieg retreated to a room at the back of the bus to prepare. My last glimpse of him was through a cracked door, watching a TV tuned to CNN as he tied his tie one last time for the day. It felt a little like watching someone put on their armor, and it made me think of a passage in Buttigieg’s stump speech when he asks the crowd to imagine the day after Trump is out of office.

“This country will need to be brought together,” he’d said that morning in Manchester. “It’s going to require a president, as I’m running to be, who can stand on the rubble of what has been busted in our society and in our politics.” The image made me pause — it was a bit apocalyptic. And what was Buttigieg supposed to be in it? A conquering hero? A savior?

Whatever he was, he was standing atop the rubble.

[kendra-inthemedia]

Rainbows in the Street

In honor of Pride month, I’m dedicating this blog post and assignment to the LGBTQ+ community as well as my big bro and his hubby. They were kind enough to let me take up ¼ of their living room, rent free, for the summer while I take classes and intern.

The LGBTQ+ community is finally getting the attention they deserve and I think in a time of backlash it’s always best to let your brightest colors shine. So to honor these fabulous people I decided I strut my five-foot tall booty around New York in search of all the colors of the rainbow, no matter what gender or being they occupy. (Not going to lie, I giggled at some of the unexpectant faces of the lucky ducks in my photos.)

According to Who What Wear, bright colors are all the rage for S/S 17. (As if we WANT to wear black in 90-degree heat? I do it anyway, buuuuut….)

Everywhere you look there are colors and rainbows everywhere. It almost makes you wonder how gender equality and equal rights are an issue. You don’t hear the colors of the rainbow arguing about why blue is next to purple. Why argue about why a guy is kissing a guy? It’s better than if a guy is killing a guy. I guess death is easier for some people to handle than love. (P.S. I REALLY wanted to buy flowers, but I was on my way to donate blood.)

On Wednesday, I took pictures during an outing for my internship. We went to the 7 for all mankind holiday collection preview.

I love flowers.

Just so happened to take the subway station home that had an appreciation for rainbows. Refreshing, to say the least, for a subway.

Thursday, after my study tour session ended, I walked from 35th and 7 Ave. to 49th and 10 Ave. Along the way, I got candid shots of people on the streets.

Them pink pants though. (Note the annoyed child in the red hoodie. Hoodie in 75-degree weather? No wonder he’s annoyed.)

Loved this dress.

I didn’t see many purples out, but this girl broke the cycle.

Lots of orange and reds.

Looked pinker in real life. Work it, boy.

Love a man in lavender.

This lady’s face made the heat worth the walk.

Man on a mission in peach.

Can we all say Snow White during menopause? I think yes.

Not much green either on Thursday. Although it wasn’t bright, I admired her posture.

Pretty in….raspberry? Sure. Raspberry.

Slay my life. The neon tangerine crayon escaped from the box and became a skirt. This chick rocked it. (But let’s be honest, the jacket made the look for me.)

RED. (Featuring ginger ale guy.)

You have to be comfortable walking these mean streets.

Thomas Gainsborough’s The Blue Boy. A la 8th Ave.

Rocking that 20′s dropped waist that I love to death. Definition of a risk taker: a redhead in a blood red dress. Work it, Bumblebee.

And last but not least on my Thursday stroll was this nice old gentleman with a love for sunflowers. He was very flattered to have his picture taken.

On Friday I had the day off from my internship in celebration of my boss’s birthday. I made use of the day by going to The Met Museum. What a great place to people watch! Everyone is taking pictures anyway so no one notices when you’re actually taking pictures of them! I felt slick.

These three lovely ladies all pulled off funky colored hair very well. I’m a lover of fancy hair color and I think it’s a fun way to express yourself.

On my way to the museum, I captured these peeps rocking out bright colors. My favorite combo was probably the blue and yellow. Very chic.

It seemed every part of the museum offered a fresh take on art. The most interesting to me was the fashion exhibit where the designs smacked you in the face more than the colors did. (I really wanted a custom colored pencil set.)

The people in the museum were probably my favorite part.  (HAHAHA)

Cool texture for the bag.

#mintybooty

Caught these two best friends at different times, both while taking pictures. #snipe

Men can be bright too!

Hello, yellows.

Love emerald. I wish there were more of it on the market.

This guy was nice enough to pose for a picture, even though he didn’t speak English very well.

Saturday was spent at home doing research for my internship.

According to Who What Wear, bright colors were predicted to be the go-to choice for S/S 17.

Here are some of the combinations they predicted to be hot for the summer.

It takes a certain kind of fashionista to pull of such massive color combinations and make sure they don’t clash in the process. I have serious respect for anyone that can pull off hot pink and red in one outfit.

My final entry for my style diary occurred on the same day as the NYC Pride March. I watched it on tv with my two brothers and was happy to learn about the history of the pride flag. The rainbow flag was popularized as a symbol of the gay community by San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker in 1978.

I think that as someone involved in fashion, it is important to remember that the colors we work every day represent something different to the LGBTQ community. We see color every day, but in the Pride flag, we see unity and compassion. We should represent that kind of compassion all the time.

After the parade was over, my brothers and I went to Sunday Mass. Along the way, there were many left over parade goers decked out in pride gear as well as many colorful New Yorkers.

My big brother caught off guard in his snazzy blue shorts.

After church, we got food and eventually frozen yogurt and sat in Columbus Circle.

Overall, this week was very colorful for me. I will probably continue to look for colors in the street while in NYC for the rest of the summer. I loved having the opportunity to let this blog be about something worth discussing. I have not only family but also many friends in the LGBTQ+ community that I would not be able to live without. I believe they deserve proper representation. I cannot think of a better symbol for such amazing people than that of a rainbow. You cannot have fashion without color. You cannot have fashion without Pride.