#and then ppl i know but haven't interacted with in a while

[reitziluz]

TAG GAME!

got tagged by @eugenoid and hell yea tag games, it's been ages, let's go!

Rules: name your favorite movie, character, animal, drink, song, season, book, color and hobby.

because i like too many things equally nowadays i'm answering these based on what are my formative faves (for the media faves). what's skulking in the basement of my mind. you know.

movie: ju-on (the grudge) or battle royale

character: sephiroth (but like you know it's currently reigen right)

animal: i find most of them neat. cats probably, capybara, magnapinna

drink: coke zero

song: der könig der dunkelheit by d

season: dead of winter

book: vampire lestat (iirc it made a bigger impact than interview with a vampire)

color: black, but i've also been assigned yellow/orange

hobby: weightlifting

if any of these surprised you or you just want to learn more, ask and i shall answer lmao

for tagging others, i'm going WILD and by wild i mean zooming through my notes etc and tagging lots of ppl kinda willy nilly on top of the usual suspects. join in on the fun! (or don't, and just lmk if you'd like to be untagged)

@the-celestial-bitch @ruemilley @sharada-n @lethotep @marquise-de-pounce @sandflake @ramtiger @corianten @iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife @kaosvrow @mimiandhercat @thinkanamelater @countthelions @ravensa @cantankerouscatfish @niborniac @attwnone @spoon-cca @cosbeans

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

Hey can I ask if you’re an adult or not? Cuz I want to interact with you but I’m also not particularly comfortable interacting with minors either :/ Completely understandable if you don’t want to say either!

i am the unfiltered silent but deadly fart that lives in between two majestic cheeks of the ass of a fictional man. Age does not know me, it fears me. Only thing minor about me is my ability to stop myself from loving fictional little people whom only a strange individual with a funky pen name can draw and control. interact with these butt cheeks only if you are prepared for repercussions (threat)

[xythlia]

periodic reminder

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hihi just wanna say real quick that you are very cool :00 I adore all the little comments you put in the tags on my posts they’re so fun to read /gen and it’s really awesome to find another Kross enjoyer (alsoalso your art is beautiful too)

anyway I just wanted to say that…

-A person who was too nervous to send this out of anon lmao

UAZGHJHFAGJ AAAA THANK YOUUU :') <3333

man why are you all so shyyyy when i'm just. i'm just a lil girl i'm a small widdle artist who goes insane over anything that remotely involves art/writings on the most niche fandoms like :'D i'm really not that cool i promise HHH xD

and man i might not know exactly who you are (although i can probably guess >;)c) but it makes me extremely happy that you like my tags!! i know how good it feels to get some nice comments on your works so for all the people who looked at it and didn't reblog i'll give you as many tags that i can possibly come up with!!! >:Dc <33333

[noxtivagus]

guys i've been improving a lot lately i'm happy w myself

[fisheito]

Whenever you get the chance, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Yakumo so far in this event! He so shmoopy. So worble

contemplative pout at the screen🦀💭

well, this can be easily accommodated... yes, shouldn't take too long. i'll put it behind the Read More in case ppl haven't caught up on the event:

i thought we were going to have a lovely time with blade oli kuya. no yakumo to plague my senses. ahhh, a winter of joy and wonder. the snake's too busy brumating, so i won't need to worry about--- WHAT IS HE DOING HERE (yes, the angry brow that graced the Helm of my face when he popped up. insidious, that he should appear , even when it's not his featured event. BGONE)

but he's with garu and i can't really be mad at garu so i unclench my brow eventually.

then they misunderstand what "everybody" meant and then i started panicking because i was still holding onto my idea of an untouched bladeolikuya story buthtennt.....

everybody.... everybody means... EVERYBOdy..... ohoohoohohohoo... the whole gang??!? don't mDInd if I dOOO

god morv you really are not worried. that's ok. brainless wonderment will get us the polyclan we deserve

then there's the ONE MOMENT where dante and yakumo stand next to each other without yakumo shrinking away in fear (because he's too busy having a sob over Merry's story) and i felt so incredibly stupid in my rarepairinating like. ah. i understand now. when people got so excited over characters just STANDING next to each other. THEY'RE NOT EVEN INTERACTING. THEYRE JUST NEXT TO EACH OTHER, AND THERE IS NO MEANING TO IT.

AND YET.................... [back on my yakudan nonsense. just ignore it]

and OOOOOOHHHHHH PART 13 BELOVED PART 13 BUMPER BOAT FIASCO

amazing, wonderful, i eat my words from before about not wanting everyone at the fair, no notes, carry on.

i was SO happy when i saw yakumo was paired with blade because that means he's in for a ROUGH RIDE AHAHAHAHAHAHAA

(smooshes them together) bladeyaku. another pair i want to see together more often. suffering circumstances together (well, mosztly yaku suffering. blade is pretty adept at having a good time whereverwhenever)/.

HOOOO boy . HELPLESS in that boat USELESS passenger princess or rather, passenger princess held hostage...? i wonder if he gets motion sickness. i wonder what's keeping him inside the boat. are there seatbelts? (thinks back to Blasting Off Again✨) huh/. i guess not. HAH!

ugh i loved everyone in their silly pairs (trio, in rei's case)

tho now i'm wondering how exactly blade and yakumo were sent flying. my understanding of physics is 😬, so i don't know the exact scenario that would result in the most bladeyaku airtime.

blade invited karu to play... so he knew he was approaching

if karu and blade headed toward each other at similar speeds, they would probably bounce back at similar rates so wouldn't karukuya also be flying away with bladeyaku?

but whAT if, after blade invites karu over and karu starts going FULL SPEED toward them but blade suddenly... stops. just, all motion on the boat ceases. somehow. not even a ripple. he hums patiently. and yakumo's just shaking out of his slippers like ummmmmmmm mr blade theyre coming closer why arent we----

THEN BAM!!!!!!!! TRANSFER OF FORCE!!!!!!! blade yaku fly into the sky!?!?! ... even then,, i'm wondering how they got the vertical in there

if karu rammed em at MegaSpeed, wouldn't they just float backward, or spin around really fast while still on the surface of the water? or was karu's speed SO destructive that as soon as the impact happened the tidal wave following him caught up, and lifted bladeyaku into the air =airborne droidsnake.

RIDICULOUS. i guess i'll never know for sure. it's tough to argue with results, though.

i will now take a moment to thank @fallencelsetial for sending me this recording:

very soothing. exactly what i needed. thank u

[soracities]

soracities please provide your wisdom. i met someone a few weeks ago who i instantly connected with. within the first week of meeting, we saw each other four times in that one week. i instantly felt that i had known them for a long time but have two concerns i’d like your opinion on (i think that these are mostly a result of my overthinking).

firstly, he had to leave to overseas for an internship so the next time i see him won’t be for another 2 months. we are still texting/facetiming daily but i can’t help but feel that he will no longer see me as a lover but as a pen pal/friend.

secondly, i don’t feel a lot of nerves/excitement that is typically associated with a new fling. like i said, i feel very comfortable around him and could spend an entire day together in silence. i know this is likely a good thing as it seems ppl spend years searching for this, but i am scared this is a symptom of a lack of passion between us/there is something wrong with me as this person is genuinely perfect and beautiful otherwise.

would appreciate any advice or consolation you have xx

I think you are overthinking this just a bit; I think--in spite of the depth of the bond you feel--you need to take some time to remind yourself that you have only known each other for a few weeks. This is not to say the sense of having known him forever isn't real (I've had that feeling with others, so I get it), but that you also can't ride entirely on that feeling: it's an expression of your connection at present. And while it might be an honest expression, it's also only the very tip of the iceberg of who he is and what your relationship (whatever shape it takes) may become, if that makes sense; who you are as people goes far beyond the few weeks you've known each other. As such, the more solid foundations of your relationship still require building.

For the internship, I think it's important to remember that two months, like the weeks you've known each other, is not a long time: its 8 weeks, give or take. A sunflower takes longer to bloom. And while the uncertainty might be daunting, it is also something you cannot do anything about: he is there, you are here. As such, your lives will be entirely separated until he comes back. Whatever happens in those spaces (for either of you) is not within your control for him, or his control for you. One of my closest friends shared something recently which has fundamentally altered how I try to think about things and it's literally just a reminder to stand where your feet are. You can overthink and worry about what might happen if such-and-such occurs or what-if he does or doesn't feel xyz--but all you're doing is stealing time from yourself by creating anxieties and worries in advance without having any indication that these things are even going to happen.

When you are talking and face-timing, you are talking and face-timing. When you are going about your daily life, you concentrate on your daily life. It is not your place to speculate on what goes on in someone's mind because, unless you're asking them about their feelings directly, you're inventing scenarios and making assumptions based on your feelings--not theirs. Your place is to be attentive and present in your interactions as they happen, and allow them to happen and unfold with sincerity. It is also to trust in your intentions and another person's when they haven't given you reason to doubt those intentions; ultimately, I don't think someone who doesn't care about spending time with you will make the effort to spend time with you in the way you've described and you need to trust in that because that is what you know--not what may or may not happen in a week or two.

If it happens that the distance does dim your connection, then you cross that bridge when (or if) you come to it because you cannot do anything about such a scenario now. And if it so happens that it is the case what would actually be the worst case scenario? Would it be as awful as you fear? This isn't a pleasant question by any means, but I think it's a necessary one when you find yourself thinking in this way. Could you possibly have had any input on such a scenario, with such a distance? Can you control who comes into his life and how (or who comes into yours?) If you haven't had any concrete conversations about how you both feel / have agreed to date exclusively while he's away / established expectations of your relationship etc / then would it be fair to influence the natural rhythms of someone else's life from your own worries?

I think most solid relationships can weather a small bit of distance provided you have open communication when necessary; if the romantic inclination fades away after two months apart then, in my view--and in the absence of vocalised expectations and romantic interests between you both-- it wasn't strong enough to begin with. I absolutely don't mean for that to sound harsh, nor am I saying the feelings and bond you've built so far aren't real. All I'm saying is that there are so many variables to how romantic attraction builds and that is different for everyone; something enduring and lasting doesn't pop out and then root itself overnight--a seed emerges but it still takes time for those roots to form and grow deep and strong enough. Again, I'm not diminishing your feelings or dismissing them--but a few weeks, beautiful and profound as they have been for you are still just a few weeks--stand where your feet are. It will work out however it works out when the time arrives for it.

My thoughts on the passion are the same but I think it might help to ask yourself a few things: How do you define passion? What are your expectations of it? Are these based on what you've felt or what you've seen / heard / come to expect from other sources? What have been your experiences of passionate feelings before (if you have had them before)? Were these purely physical and never (or rarely) emotional? Were they healthy relationships / expression of passion when you had them? Or was passion a form of compensation (i.e., a way to paper over your own insecurities by riding on an emotion that distracts you from them)?

I don't think comfort necessarily points to lack of passion--passion is emotion, but like all emotionally-driven things they don't happen in a vacuum. You can feel nerves and excitement around someone new for a number of reasons but that doesn't always mean it's coming from a healthy place; quite often, if you come from an emotionally unhealthy environment with a lot of emotional instability or reactive people around you, for example, you might find the uncertainty of a new fling or someone emotionally intense exciting simply because that instability has become familiar to you. Personally, I try to concentrate less on "passion" and more on desire because they aren't necessarily interchangeable in my view and, ultimately, what matters most here is: Are you attracted to this person, physically and emotionally? Can you imagine yourself being / want to be physically involved with him? If the answer is yes to either of those, then I wouldn't worry too much because, again, you're at a distance right now. It isn't something you can explore fully / allow develop until that distance is no longer there.

I don't know if any of this helps you, anon, but I hope some of it does x

[enden-k]

Ok but the real question is how would Kaveh and Ratio interact, because while Ratio is very similar to Alhaitham, they do have some notible differences.

Like he does seem to be more altruistic than Ahaitham in a sense (like his main goal is to help people learn, while haitham's is to just lead a simple life), also Ratio seems to have more appreciation for arts (at least I think) and I can see Kaveh getting alone with with him in that sense.

On the other hand I can also see Kaveh just not vibing with his personality or his methods. Either way i feel like a conversation between the two would be interesting to watch... even if theres a good chance I wouldn't understand half of what they're saying

(Aslo there's a good chance i got some of Dr. Ratio's characterization wrong, haven't exactly had the same amount of time to dissecte his character as we have with Kaveh & Alhaitham, so I could have missed something or misinterpreted it)

dr ratio shares some similarities to haitham regarding some traits (extremely intelligent, self centered, confident, a buff scholar etc) but is different. he gets angry or aggressive often when faced with ignorance or smth he regards as stupid; the most emotion (not counting azar scene) i heard of haitham being slightly pissy is the one time in aaru village when he told dehya to stop yelling AHHAHA (i just love how he says it, hes so cute ugh)

ratio detests ignorance and stupidity but not bc he thinks of himself as smth better but bc he sees those as illnesses dulling ppls minds and he wants to cure it by sharing his knowledge with the universe.

haitham and ratio both want ppl to use their brains yes, but haitham doesnt rlly care about educating ppl (in fact he doesnt rlly care about anything unless it directly affects him, seeing that he doesnt even bother correcting ppls mistakes or false claims unless it will trouble him. this is just connected to his philosophy tho, prioritizing/taking care of himself first, not meddling and believing that it would cause much less problems in general and lead to simpler lives if everyone else would do the same. its not that he doesnt care bc he hates ppl. hes asocial, not antisocial)

so yes, while haitham doesnt care about ppl and their intellectual level (yall remember how he picked books that are easy and interesting for paimon to read in his last birthday mail? my heart still gets warm aaa) ratio detests "stupidity" (not ppl or "stupid ppl") as he regards it as a disease; so much so that he wears that mask so he doesnt have to look at it. hes a professor wanting to educate ppl like a doctor wanting to cure an illness. he believes that intellect and creativity isnt smth only geniuses have but for everyone and everyone can reach higher intellectual levels if they educate themselves enough and learn how to use their brains, if they lose their ignorance.

this is the impression i got tho with the bits we have!! ofc i can be wrong with what i think.

anw ratios philosophy/goals are grander than haithams; it certainly isnt bc ratios such a good man who wants to educate the universe tho (i just know hes a mean prof u dont wanna disappoint), its just bc he wants to get rid of that which he regards as illness. i think its more egoistical reasons there, bro doesnt want to taint his eyes any more or smth

anw i think esp with the line about him believing that "intellect and creativity isnt confined to geniuses", and the appreciation for good arts, him and kaveh meeting would be very interesting. also they get angered so fast its funny

[bnhxx]

Coming out of my shell to say that I'm petitioning to be Leon's annoying little sister

Some platonic sibling hcs under the cut!!

Warnings: Platonic! Au, a little bit of sibling violence and A LOT of sibling banter, mentions of ptsd, drinking and alcoholism and events in RE2 and RE4

It's always I want him to rail me! I want his babies! And I can respect that I can I can but...have you ever considered being his annoying little baby sibling that adopts him as your new family member 😇

Like yeah nah bro I wanna annoy him and tease him for having no rizz AT ALL and just all around annoy tf outta him 😤

Like he's an orphan but not AnYmOrE, scooping this traumatised boy up and making him WISH he never met you but also is weirdly protective you who "adopted" him as their "sibling", and now won't stop saying "point and laugh!" out loud everytime he does smth stupid in the middle of the office when hes back from a mission.

Like, please he just needs an annoying little sibling in his life, I know I can't fix him but by God can I be the annoying little sister he so desperately needs in his life

Like....I KNOW his heels have never known the wrath of MY FEET clipping his shoes up when he's walking too slow but he NEEDS to 😭😭😭 I need to post this and find my PEOPLE

Also I feel like being a sibling vibe you'd have tagged along as a civilian in RE2, also not knowing what the fuck was going on but hey, you're in this fucked up shit together now ig. 🤷‍♀️ And you have some family/friends out of state so after the event you take him to chill at a beach or smth w your family/friends bc you're both well deserving of a fucking break while this ptsd hits the both of you

n everyone talks about how fucking awkward he was w Sherry in game but ayo hes REALLY feeling it now...

Like you're joking when you're like "it's like you've never been to one of these Leon 🤨"

N he just looks at you like "Yeah I haven't 😐"

AND YOU KAHSJEVDHEKEHEJE

"You're like 😶....bro....you have now been absorbed.....as my older brother"

And he's like 🧐🧐🧐 at first bc what??? How do I interact w these ppl??? Why me???? but ofc they love him, he's RE2 Leon and although he's super fucking traumatised and still awkward asf he just wants to make a good impression on his friends' close ones

Also he's like sitting there like damn,,,,,I wish I had that 😔

So you're like wELP noW yoU dO 🤪

And of course they're super grateful to him bc he saved you so they treat him nicely but he kinda gets that a lot so he's just like 🧍

So after you tell them hes now your older brother you've deemed it so 🤗 they just start to treat him like that and he just, doesn't know what to do??? Do I salute them, (y/n)???

Do it make him salute them for at least three weeks until you tell him absolutely no one does that and he was stupid for ever believing you 😈

Tbh I feel like this would work for the first couple of times until he mentions it at work in passing n everyone's like 🤨,,,,so then the next time he sees you he just has that pissed off older sibling face and he's coming for you so you better have ran like you did in Raccoon City kahsjehs 🏃‍♀️💨

But yeah after a while you guys stay in touch, he's training and drowning his pain with alcohol and you're trying to get him into more healthier ways of dealing w his pain as well as laughing at him kshsjdhsjs

your just sort of there to support him even when he's pushing you away bc no idiot I will not leave you alone when you're training I will watch and I will LAUGH when you fall. But I will also cheer you on when you win and give you my favourite hello kitty bandaid if you ever get hurt 🥰

And he's super grateful?? Bc your like this stable sort of annoying person who's there for him no matter what.

Like he knows he can come to yours to crash if he's had one too many drinks to holds his hair when he's puking his guts out hungover.

Yes you are there in the morning to laugh and yell at him for being stupid but he also saw the glass of water you left on the couch next to the ibuprofen and chuck bucket for him. And the little blankets and they you always seem to have waiting on him when he arrives

Yes you will be there to do it all over again if he comes walking to your place after he's drunk again.

And Yes, you will also be there to show him all the dumb photos you took of him drunk on your Kodak once they get developed and cackle in his face 😈

He like actually learns to take a load off with you and relax a little bc you have a bond and you weren't just saying that when you took his ass on holiday, you really meant you'd be there for him and it means a lot to him bc he's never really had that stability in his life before 😔

Also bc the trauma bonding you just get him ✨️ like you can both relate to the horrors you saw and what you unknowingly found out about Umbrella.

Like maybe you work w him in the field or just as an archivist or smth but you're helping him w this cause too, dealing w the same or similar shit he's been dragged into so ofc you guys form a bond w each other.

And so by the time RE4 rolls around imagine you're like talking him through his mission on the radio n he's soo serious around Ashley and Luis so you can't help it you burst out laughing bc he's so stiff, and he's like THIS is a LIFE and DEATH siTuAtiOn now do your fUcKiNg jOb SeNd me tHe coOrDiNatEs

And you're like okay okay grumpy pants 😈 I'll give you the coordinates but you have to say pwetty pwease w a cherry on top for me 🥰

If it were anyone else he'd turn the radio off and find it himself but bc he does care for you, and you're like the only stable platonic thing he's had in ages he's like cursing and swearing until he FINALLY caves in and does it

So you give him the coordinates and just as he's about to go back to almost dying your like "I got that recorded fyi" and he's just 😤😤😤 at Luis for no real reason other than his 'little shit of an adopted sibling' kwhsjshdhd

But also imagine randomly calling him constantly bc you're really worried for him bc this time your not there with him and it scares you

And he's like, I'm not dying here bc who else is gonna put up w your shithead behaviour??? n you're just like, 'aww Leon!! 🥺🥺'

So hes like 'yeah so stfu and let me do my mission 😤' but you swear you can hear the smile in his voice through the radio

OR if you're there, with him it's even MORE chaos kshdjdhdjdn

Like imagine Luis flirting w you n him being all protective older brother on you, n you're just like 🙄 siblings amirite, btw Leon that's a prime example of how to properly rizz someone up you loser 😇 n your not running from ganados this time your running from him (again) 🏃‍♀️💨

If you engage in sibling violence he's like, you haven't hit me once this whole mission n you're like, I'm giving you a vacation since we're running for our godamned lives out here n hes thinking like 🥺 my shins have never know rest like this before since I met you 🥺

but he just gives you a little smirk 'heh' or some one liner and that's it he did it to himself his shins indeed do NOT know rest 💀

Being teased by him more and more as he matures but dw, you're always there to annoy him back 😇 and run tf away when he gives that older sibling look like he's about to wreck your shit for ever thinking of crossing him lajsjsjsbs

[sualne]

HI HELLO I HAVE A QUESTION! Where are the strawhats in your vamp au? Do they know Luffy is with Doffy?

they're looking after him! they suspect it's mingo's fault he disappeared but they're not 100% sure if luffy's with him!

also have a quick timeline because i haven't given one, the au is very much a wip so only the published fic for now is canon but that's the idea for now:

→ luffy gets turned on dressrosa -> regroup on Zou, plan for to take down Kaido postponed for now -> Whole Cake Island goes similar to canon but oh the horrors -> submarine trip (what i'm currently working on EDIT: more art here and here , also the fic)

-> ??? zone, more the hearts & strawhats interactions, luffy's & mingo's brains keeps on melting together every now and then, stuff, they do go to Wano now?

-> during the party after freeing Wano luffy disappears without anyone's notice, plot twist, mingo was around to discuss with his business partner and managed to get away alive (law's plan failed through and through).

plot twist #2 the reason luffy isn't bloodthristy for ppl's blood is because mingo fucked up when ordering/compelling him to drink his blood while turning him, now he only feel actual bloodthirst for his blood. this is also why he never feels satisfied, his body is fine with the blood he drinks but his mind keeps going "we still need more blood" because it isn't the right blood.

this means he finally acts like an actual bloodthirsty newborn vampire when he's around mingo and looses his shit, this also means he's finally perfectly fine and well and sane for real after feeding on him and after months of what he had to go through relief isn't strong enough of a word to describe how he feels, so he goes with him.

mingo can end his command, have luffy be able to drink anyone's else blood and be satisfied, but doesn't.

(there's also mindlink reasons & mingo being a master manipulator ect ect that'll be partly revealed once im done with that damn submarine horror oneshot.)

-> now that they're together it's a lot easier to function, doesn't mean it's easy to coexist tho, mingo decides to go visit Cross Guild and maybe get a new business going on.

again this could all change to smth completely different any time but that's the general idea for now!

[bumblingbabooshka]

apologies if you’ve talked abt this before but have you read any of the voyager novels and if so do you recommend any/what were your thoughts? i like reading the star trek pocket novels for funsies but mostly only see ppl talking about the tos/tng/ds9 ones so i’m not sure where to start. thanks!

I highly recommend 'String Theory' - I'll tell you right now that I don't usually actually READ Star Trek Novels; I just find ones where Tuvok is mentioned a lot and then search the novel for words like 'Tuvok' and 'Vulcan' and read those bits. However, 'String Theory' was different in that I found myself actually invested and reading parts of the story that didn't concern Tuvok! I thought the characterization was very good. It also has this scene which I drew fanart of:

'Catalyst of Sorrows' is another one where I began just searching for instances of Tuvok but actually started paying attention to the story. However, I've read much less of it than 'String Theory'. That being said, I do want to get around to reading more one of these days! I don't think this would count as a VOY novel though because I think Tuvok is the only Voyager character in it? The other characters that I noticed/remember were Sisko, Selar, and Uhura. I like 'The Incident at Arbuk' I found the aliens cute and funny, my husband joked that they were 'antpilled beetlecels' and I remember smiling a lot while I was reading it - I remember Neelix's characterization being very fun! I've always liked his early season edge and I wished they'd stuck with it more - where he's a bit more devious and irritated by Voyager's crew. This is one I'd definitely like to read fully, even more so than 'Catalyst of Sorrows' since I like the goofier parts of Star Trek! It's another one I'd recommend! I'm also interested in (despite it being serious) 'A Pocket Full of Lies' because of the Janeway-Tuvok interactions. I don't know anything else about that novel so I can't tell you if the overall story or characterizations are good, I just know that the Janeway-Tuvok storyline within it seems heartbreaking! Uhh 'Pathways' is one I think is pretty popular but I've only read Tuvok's part in that and the writing didn't make me want to read the others'. From what I read it feels like there might be a healthy dose of 90's-Writing[tm] where it's sort of boring and kind of sexist. (But again, I haven't read all of it so that's not a definitive statement!) Those are all the ones that've stuck out to me so far! I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help!

[nerves-nebula]

Has the overall story of Loose Stitches changed significantly since you started drawing it?

BOY HAS IT. ITS LITERALLY CHANGING AS WE SPEAK. anyway this got long so. under da cut

so, like most stories, it's changed a lot since the beginning. i was technically drawing it years before i started on the comic you see before you nowwww HOWEVER i get what u mean so i wont post any old art of atchkie or anything to make a point

TO GET TO YOUR QUESTION: since i started drawing and posting it, things have changed SIGNIFICANTLYYYYY. for example, hanheppi culture (which wont be relevant for years) was basically nonexistent when i started. the only reason you guys know hanheppi people and loose stitches are related is because i literally didnt have a name picked out for the hanheppi, so i had to file them under "loose stitches related" thinking i probably wouldnt post much about them anyway. and ppl started noticing that because i got around to developing them ON THIS BLOG WHILE POSTING LOOSE STITCHES. lol

as for the characters, they've changed too in a lot of ways. dotty's whole deal was generally outline before but i filled it in over the last few years and now it's like. genuinely could be its own novel lol.

ATCHKIE'S personality has been kind of hard for me to get a handle on because they are a kind of person who i don't have much in common with. but i think i'm getting a better idea of them as time goes on.

Reg Willow and Eden are still being workshopped cuz they're gonna appear later on and i haven't written them very much, so they're actively changing as we speak.

and then of course the entirety of part 2 has undergone major changes and is still actively shifting in huge ways. i see part 1 as basically set up and foreshadowing and getting to know the MC's and part 3 (if it can be called that, im prolly gonna break up part 3 into different chunks tho) as the pay off/explanation portion.

but part 2 is kind of more like a road trip adventure that the characters take on the way to trying to find things out about themselves and their goals. they run into a bunch of weirdos and its basically just the part where i get to have a ton of weird shit happen and then they run away. half of it is not even plot relevant and i'm SO EXCITED FOR IT!!!

and because it's way more flexible and is basically just a "author gets a free for all to do whatever it wants" card, it changes rapidly and often. I've brought in characters from past stories to fill in spaces, and i've combined certain plot points and storybeats. i've cut shit i didn't think was fun and then added entire towns just for 1 scene i wanna do. so thats probably the part thats changing the most.

other minor things that have changed is the near spontaenous creation of characters like professor silk, leilah, and mia. what happened with them was that i had points in the script where characters would talk and then i realized that if they were gonna have all these interactions with characters, they should probably be reoccurring ones instead of a bunch of one offs. Now professor silk is a minor but recurring characters, and Leilah was upgraded to full on girlfriend almost on a whim. Mia was the most spontaneous one tho.

in the scene where Mia throws dotty off the balcony, that was SUPPOSED to be Leilah and just some random friend atchkie was hanging out with. but since Mia had appeared before i was like fuck it, why introduce a whole new friend when i can reuse what was a one off character? and then while blocking out the fight it was just easier for me to imagine someone accidentally throwing dotty via strings than Leilah pushing them off in the struggle like i'd planned.

i could keep going on with stuff like this but the tl;dr is: yeagh. shit is changing constantly and all the little changes end up with the finished product being vastly different from the start.

and thats why i love serialized stories. there's an inherent jank to it that i cant get enough of on both the process side and the reader side.

[angelfevr]

akane kurashiki is (not) allocishet: an analysis

[pt: akane kurashiki is (not) allocishet: an analysis. end pt].

okay so we’ve been meaning to write this for a while but havent bc we’ve been focusing on other projects. slight disclaimer if u dont agree w this hc thats fine, just dont be a dick just bc it interferes w ur own interpretation . we all have our own ways of reading the text so. Yeah!! lets get started

so i just wanna say akane is a character i resonate with in a lot of ways, and a lot of what im going to say comes from my and others’ experiences. ur identities and experiences r def gonna affect how u view a piece of work right? 

so when i played through the series in 2023, i initially viewed akane as everyone else did: she’s in love with junpei, and even hced her as bi like most of the fandom. but the more i studied the source material, the more i felt thats not rlly the case?? esp after ztd, like im sorry but i cannot buy the idea that both junpei or akane wanna marry each other. junpei is for another day but in terms of akane i wanna talk abt the idea that she may be aromantic. 

immersing myself in the fandom, a lot of ppl’s first impressions of akane’s june persona is that she was initially gonna be this ditzy girl next door who only serves as a love interest for junpei. ofc that ended up not being the case, but i see ppl say that they only rlly cared for akane after finding out she’s zero. which imo is such a missed opportunity for analysis.

as june, akane interacts with the world through tropes. the first thing she does when we’re introduced to her is fall on junpei. and overall is seen as this nervous girl who wouldn’t harm anyone. she flirts w junpei throughout the game, yadda yadda yadda. when it comes to her identity as zero, she desperately wants a perfect ending where she can be with junpei. its guesswork as to which aspects are true of akane, but i personally see these traits as smth she thinks “kanny” would do. 

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“Junpei: Well, I dunno. Anything. I mean, you're hiding it. How would I know?

June: You mean, like...the number of men I've dated?

Junpei's heart stumbled over itself.

June: Do you want to know?

He had to admit, he was a little curious.

June: Don't worry.

She smiled at him.

June: Only 18...

!?

June: ...Times 0.

June: Yeah... I guess I just haven't met Mr. Right yet…”

“Number of men” is highlighted in green. End id].

of course, bc of her tumultuous childhood and how she didn’t have many friends, she never rlly had experience w dating. but not much suggests she would beyond her own words.

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“Kanny: You...meant a lot to me...when we were kids...

Kanny: I've liked you...for a long time, Junpei... A really...long...time..”

“Liked” is highlighted in green. End id]. 

.

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“"Okay..."

My voice shook as I answered.

It was hot in the room. It felt like my heart was on fire.

6 minutes or not, my heart burned with my feelings for him.

…”

“burned” is highlighted in green. End id]. 

but actions speak louder than words, and she doesn’t go far beyond flirting and declarations of love. in ztd, she doesn’t even make these advances even when she’s trying to lighten the mood or make things right with junpei. the only time being when she speaks with carlos in the pantry. 

[id: a log of dialogue from zero time dilemma which reads: 

akane: if it was because of me somehow… then this time i need to rush to his aid. that’s what i’ve decided anyway.

carlos: you really like junpei, don’t you?

akane: wh-what in the world are you saying, carlos?! 

carlos: i’m out of my depth when it comes to romance.

end id].

[id: a log of dialogue from zero time dilemma which reads: 

carlos: did you bake heart-shaped cookies full of love for your darling junpei?

akane: oh carlos… would you please stop teasing me… 

june is meant to be seen as the ideal japanese woman, and since performance/identity is a huge part of her character, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that she’s performing heterosexuality/amatonormativity, by extension femininity (but that’s an analysis for another day). 

akane is also slotted into the role of a mother figure for kyle just as sigma with the role of father. i can’t help but think of the scene in little shop of horrors (1986), audrey sings abt a stable and “ideal” middle class life. i remember watching it thinking it was odd, given that im aro and am not interested in settling down or emulating cishet middle class values. but my friend, who is poor just like audrey and akane, told me that it’s a common occurrence for poor ppl to think this way. to want a sense of stability even if it’s stereotypical. i feel like this applies to akane as well. i also hc her with bpd, and instability is a common symptom for us, so it makes sense for her to see junpei as a beacon of such, of normalcy. he’s rlly the only normal part of her childhood. she wants him to fix her lol . 

[id: screenshot from virtue’s last reward which reads: 

“i pleaded with her to leave, but she quietly shook her head. there was someone very special to her, she told me. he had saved her life once, and she felt her death would help to repay that favor.” end id].

and while we do see oldkane/vlrkane reminisce abt her life w junpei thru kyle, the passcode being jumpydolls, i feel like thats less abt love and more abt the fact that shes lonely, which a lot of ppl mistake that like. love can fix that.. when it rlly cant. not to mention what i said earlier

akane and junpei rarely make physical contact beyond junpei holding her in his arms and hugging. you can of course be a couple and not be that physically affectionate, but junpei is the only one initiating this. also like?? not even an “i love you” when you haven’t seen each other in nine years???????

[id: cg from nine hours nine persons nine doors. junpei holds akane’s shoulder with a worried expression. Akane has her eyes closed. End id].

[id: screenshot of zero time dilemma. junpei hugs akane near the basketball court in the lounge. akane wears a wedding ring on her right hand. end id].

[id: screenshot from zero time dilemma. junpei holds a ring in his right hand. white text on the bottom reads, “well, remember back in elementary school your dream was to wear a ring?” end id].

this is actually a common experience for aros who dont realize aromanticism is even an option. i remember when i was a kid, i’d have daydreams of getting married and dating ppl but when the opportunity actually came, i was uncomfortable and rejected it. 

i feel like junpei’s proposal and akane’s acceptance were reckless of both of them, and probably not even signs of true feelings. junpei’s arc is abt regaining agency, and akane’s is abt control (hashtag cinematic parallels), so it makes sense this would happen. both wish they could return to their childhoods, hence their emotionally immature attitudes + tendency to reminisce abt the past (junpei is counterphobic to this though and eventually gets over it in vlr’s timeline, though akane continues to act this way going forward). poor decision making is a sign of trauma after all. 

i mentioned how akane (and junpei but again. Another story for another day) subverts gendered expectations w her personality. aro ppl (as well as lesbians if u wanna go for a lesbian akane reading) tend to feel disconnected from their agab bc yk we arent straight and like a cishet woman liking a man is a sign of womanhood according to Society............ so like what if ur a girl who likes girls? or doesnt like anyone??? what does that make u??? (again, this could either be a trans reading or a lesbian reading)

anyway my point is. i think its more interesting to read akane’s interest in junpei as her wanting stability and a normal life, esp given that she is traumatized and was once poor. i feel like fluffy junepei fanworks make their dynamic very one-note and lack what makes their dynamic intriguing. but hey!! thats just my opinion as an aro person and how i prefer to interpret it 

[holistichiatus]

1999 hex chat spoilers - Eleanor

just did eleanor's fifth chat and i want to talk abt my own theories about tenno telepathy and how drifter tamm's interactions diverge from canon.

for a while I've thought of tenno being telepathic to a degree on their own. they can broadcast feelings and touch lets them share thoughts. it's much harder to do when they are using their warframes, especially if they are still hidden on lua and haven't woken. it makes casual, direct touch a gesture reserved for those closest to them and touching palms rarely happens unless tenno are close. it's stronger through their main bodies, operators and drifters alike.

i think this gives them a unique resistance to broader telepathy. and given how drifter had to control their psyche in duviri + some amount of influence from MitW that i haven't figured out exactly, i think this would make them a blind spot to her. she can't pick up any surface thoughts, general emotions, or even strong thoughts.

When she first meets Tamm, it's disorienting to feel a hole in the noise. she pushes only slightly to try and find the vague feelings, not searching for anything specific, but nothing. in fact, he feels her and that is when he first notices her. and she knows he felt her pushing and still hears nothing at all, but she feels her own dread bc it's nothing like any other attempts ppl have made to keep her out (with varying degrees of success)

he can hear her if she broadcasts generally, but drifter is the one silent spot in her new world and it freaks her the hell out. they do eventually become friendly, but it's much slower than the others. when she hears the angels, it's a conscious effort Tamm makes to share the memory at her request. he can hear her no problem, but she can't hear anything he doesn't want her to hear and eventually she finds it kind of comforting to have a singular, normal friendship with someone in the world

[chiyoso]

so,

based on the hi3 shit ive been researching in wikis, blogs and reddit for stellar chasm (my hi3 x hsr crossover story in the making)

hi3 writing is all over the place and that hyv writers prolly- partially gave up on some parts/arcs that leaves some hi3 players unsatisfied, is what i'm barely understanding

(discussion about hi3 x hsr crossover story im making, along with hi3 topics under cut)

i do however finally understand quite a lot though (except for the math and... numbers... shinanigans)

i'm just hoping my hsr following is aware of hi3 or even the basics of the imaginary tree + sea of quanta, cause ima be involving it a lot of hi3 things for the prologue,

just for Herrscher!Reader's arrival to make sense, establishing her personality for you readers to be aware of, her relationships with hi3 characters, and just an overall introduction

then again, stellar chasm is for avid hsr and hi3 enjoyers, but for the pure hsr readers... hmh, i wouldnt know how they'll react, but i can assume theyre aware of hyv's other games

i haven't reached the final chapters of hi3 plot in game and i also dont mind being spoiled from the information im researching—but what i can say is that i believe hi3 lore enjoyers feel robbed about the overall writing progression in the canon story, which is honestly really sucky and i feel quite bad about it

not to mention, we still have yet to know how our beloved welt yang of anti entropy ended up in the universe of honkai star rail, but honestly i can feel their love for hsr, so we might get that aspect explained in the future

nonetheless,

the frantic mess and unsatisfied feelings towards the hi3 writers who're in charge with the storyline in hi3 remind me that ill have to step up my game for this crossover story i'll be creating for you all, i want a good story because i am someone who craves a good universe that can scratch our brain's itch in the right places, so why not write instead? for myself and you all hi3 and hsr lovers.

anyhow, thank you for reading until the end, i would love to hear all of your thoughts within my inboxes or just overall interact with me about this (while i plan, edit and write the prologue of stellar chasm and the 2nd chapter of TMW)

for the ppl who wanna be informed;

hi3 arc summaries reddit disccusion link

imaginary tree + sea of quanta explained/disccusions reddit

[fismoll7secinv]

15 questions, 15 people:

I was tagged by dear @a-very-fond-farewell 💚I hope you get your lobster sanctuary! 💚

-

1. are you named after anyone?

nope

2. when was the last time you cried?

I don't know, I don't really cry

3. do you have kids?

never

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah, quite casually in everyday life, but I try to tone it down

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

I'm bad with faces, I might not recognise someone who's new to me after interacting with them every day for 2 weeks (based on a true story) xdd so what I notice at first is the overall vibe they present, which is a combination of their posture and body language, clothes and accessories, facial expressions etc. This doesn't tell absolutely accurately who they are, but it shows how they want to be perceived mixed with some unconscious elements they might not notice themselves, which is interesting to me

6. what’s your eye color?

eh idk, people say they're blue when I'm in a blue pool, green when I'm among greenery, grey when it's a bit dark. I guess they're a subtle mixture that looks like nothing until there's something external that brings out one of the colors. it's a bit annoying tbh, so I usually just say grey

7. scary movies or happy endings?

i love horror, very high on my list of fav genres, but I also love happy endings, just not necessarily in horrors. In media other than horror I need HE or I feel down. So i'd say: both

8. any special talents?

I've had a music talent since I was little, couldn't understand how other kids didn't know how to play the flute or keep the rhythm. I've also heard various ppl say that I somehow know how to arrange things to be aesthetically pleasing, but I could never explain how to do it, it just looks better a certain way. A bit for drawing, considering how fast I improved compared to some other people, but I haven't pursued it farther than sketching. Sport comes pretty smoothly to me and my body, I've always been "the athletic girl"

I may sound like i'm bragging but i try to be objective for my own self. After all "talent" means nothing and is just bitterly wasted if you're not practising, so for me it can be more of a shameful thing that I let rot rather than something to be proud of. It's also so useless when teaching others, because you don't know how to explain shit when you do it intuitively, which tripped me a lot of times while trying to teach someone. Very annoying and sometimes isolating in a sense that you just vibe with yourself instead of sharing the experience with others

9. where are you born?

in a hospital

10. what are your hobbies?

reading, writing, taking care of plants, pen & paper rpgs, collecting weird trinkets and paintings, drawing, horror movies, detective stories, listening to podcasts

11. do you have any pets?

we have a dog but I moved out of my family home recently and the doggo stayed there, I still visit often and walk him, but it doesn't feel like he's really mine anymore :(

12. what sports do you/have you played?

I did gymnastics and horse-riding for a few years as a kid, used to jog in middle/high school, I also go on a trip to the mountains at least once a year to hike bc I'm obsessed with it. Recently I like to do yoga and fitness to bring my body to its limit and stretch all the pains that keep accumulating. I almost didn't move from my desk for over a year some time ago because i was too busy with uni, work and a few other big things, and it ended up in a neck injury that escalated to a few months of rehab. Now I move a lot so those nightmarish pain and several contusions don't repeat

13. how tall are you?

taller than most women and many guys

14. favourite subject in school?

all languages, math, biology

15. dream job?

neuroscientist, astronaut or pilot of small planes

-

I have no idea who did this already, feel free to ignore as always. Tagging @prommethium @miyakuli @still-gathering-roses @carmine-sunlight @wikipedie