#and then my brain would be like duuude you're so fucking cringe stop being edgy for no reason
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sometimes i really do wish i could go back to how i was online in the 2010s when the concept of being cringe or being an edgelord didn't exist in my brain
#like yes i was oversharing i was saying things that could easily be used by someone to come and kill me#etc etc#but at least i could talk to people and feel connected to them without being terrified#nowadays im just like#spending an hour fucking writhing on my bed because something's bothering me#and then my brain would be like duuude you're so fucking cringe stop being edgy for no reason#bc those thoughts are always about either hurting myself or feeling Different from other people#and like it's stupid and i'm not trying to take a stance on The Morality Of Memes or whatever here. i couldn't care less#but years of Haha mentally ill people think they're soooo edgy memes have ruined my self perception#because now i will reprimand myself for hating myself and trying to be Different when i could just be happy and content#and then act like a victim because oh no nobody wants to listen to me#anyway sorry about the vent i am not doing very well as u can tell lol#i just wish i wasn't so scared of talking to other people who literally want to do nothing more than help#zzz#vent#delete later
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