#and then maybe I will fall asleep for 5 hours and wake up with a muscle strain
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Melatonin is a delicate balancing act, it took some time to find a dose that helped me fall and stay asleep without leaving me groggy after 8/10 hours. For me, that has been 10 mg gradually increased to such over a few weeks then steady since.
I also take roughly a week without it every month or two, as the bottle recommends. Listen to your body and do what you can. Good luck, and thank you for the sweet gay were/pire comic<3
Yeah, I can tell my sweet zone is somewhere between 3 and 6 mg, at least right now. Or at least I think it is. Admittedly my sleep has been absolutely horrible since I was a kid so my standards on "not tired" are pretty low, so I'm not actually sure if they're any good right now. All I know is I'm getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and I'm not spending every waking moment fighting off a nap!
Thanks for the confirmation I've gotta test with it and go off and on and such, my doc didn't give me a straight answer on that (he just kept saying take it as needed... I need it every night!!!). 75% of the time being good is way better than 0% so I'll take what I can get!
And the gay comics are the least I can do 𧥠thank you for reading it!
#my boyfriend actually commented unprompted that ive been complaining less about being tired all the time..m#like dont get me wrong. im still tired#but it has been a WORLD of a difference.#like. its been every day since i was like 14 that just. all day i could fall right back asleep#and every night i wake up every. other. hour.#ive never really been able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time#so ive never gotten uhm. good sleep before.#and ive had to stay in bed 14. 16. 20 hours to even feel like i can GET UP!!!!#super bad hahaha#but I'll take a week of that every month or so over every day#im just glad ive found a dose and combo thats workint for me cause ive tried melatonin before and it didnt help#but that was qlso before i used those nose strips. which also help me a lot?#so i think the combo is important#and i wouldn't be shocked if in 5 years i learn of another secret sleeping ingredient#anyways. maybe i can line up the bad sleep week off melatonin with the other week that sucks every month auajjddjdjejdj#see how it goes lol#oh ive also been taking other vitamins which have also been helping#so that combo leaves me with some actual waking time that im not fighting off a nap#this is why I've been posting more recently btw lol#asks#jackedupjack
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hmm. I have to be up at 7. it is 2 now. is it rlly worth trying to go to bed for 5 hrs of sleep or should I just do an all-nighter sdfg :â)
#ik the answer is You Should Sleep#BUT consider that my body isnât accustomed to falling asleep til 4-5#so going to bed now will likely result in laying awake for a few hours. then MAYBE getting two hours of sleep. and then waking up and#feeling infinitely worse with two hours than I would have with zero#but also like. I AM tired now. so idk :â)#Also I have to be up to take my rats in for surgery so I Know Iâm gonna full of anticipation anxiety the whole time too#the last time I had to take them in early I had a bunch of feverish stress dreams lol
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hehe hi đ it's me :3
for the ask game:
27. What's your favorite book? (or just one you've read a few times?)
26. What are some seemingly childish things you like?
43. Do you have siblings? if so how many?
34. What's your favorite flower?
9. When is your birthday?
19. Do you have a best friend? how long have you
been friends?
50. Wild Card. any question, ask away!
did you listen to the new Hozier album yet?! :3
21. How was your day today?
and
28. How are you, really?
<3
- girl-hobbit đ¤đż
ow wow ok!!
27. six of crows is so good. so good.
26. i love cartoons, games like 4 square, coloring books, climbing trees, popping bubble wrap, splashing in puddles, doing carwheels. uhhh a lot of things :]
43. i have a sister 2 years older than me and a brother 6 years younger than me :p
34. just wildflowers i guess???? like fields of them <3333
9. october 27 :D its the best birthday
19. sort of? i have two friends ive known since like 2nd grade and we are really close but weâre also close with other people. i guess yes??
50. ok dont hate me but i listened to the first like 5 songs the day it released and then i kept gettinf distracted and forgetting so i havent listened to it in full yet :(( i will though i promise!! ill do it today >:3
21. good! i got a root beer float at school :DD
28. tbh i keep getting really upset about school and its Not Fun. more in tags
#thank youu#<3#ask#girl-hobbit!#ok mini rant :#i hate the fact that i have to wake up hours before my body naturally wants to#then stay in the same place for 7 hours mostly just sitting at a desk.#i get home around 4. rest for maybe an hour/do chores. eat dinner at 6. maybe watch a show with my parents.#one thing about me is that i have a super hard time focusing/starting things! so it takes me 3/4 hours to do my homework#especially when i think its stupid. if its a lot of work and i think its stupid my brain straight up refuses to do it.#and then i also have issues falling asleep so i get maybe 5-6 hours every night if im lucky.#theres no way i can alter my schedule to make it better. theres no solution for me unless i give up more freetime!! wtf!!#learning is great and important but this schedule does not fucking work for me. it just doesnt. and it pisses me off !#anyway. that was kind of a full rant not a mini rant. sorry bout that.
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Iâm so envious of small children who uncomplicatedly fall asleep and sleep through the night
Whatâs their fucking secret???
#I gotta have my cat sleeping next to me#my fan on no matter the actual temperature#two blankets#4 pillows#plus a small pillow for minute height adjustments#complete darkness unless itâs daytime at which point I will fall asleep easily#gotta have zero thoughts on the mind (which is always a problem and rarely achieved)#and all the stars have to be aligned#and then maybe I will fall asleep for 5 hours and wake up with a muscle strain
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Ah fuck Iâve accidentally stayed up until 5am reading about silly gay people on my phone again
#at what point does it count as technically pulling an all nighter#not this specific instance (yet) bcus I def donât count 5 thatâs amateur hour but typically atp I wonât fall asleep until at least 6:30-7#which is likeâŚaverage school year wake up time so maybe counts? but then again I will falls asleep and technically sleep through the morning#I just donât sleep at night at all#so Iâm *technically* up ALL night#but it doesnât feel right to call it an all nighter if I end up with like four hours of sleep anyways#hm#truly questions for the mentally unwell#bad sleep habits#sleep deprivation#sleep deprived#sleep#once again my phones autocorrect greatly decreases the comedic value of my posts#fanfiction#ao3#archive of our own
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in my "i am going to kill myself" era
#guys I'm starting to think it's not an era anymore..#I'm so tired. i know I'm not gonna sleep enough now. and i know that when i wake up the painkillers would've already worn off#so I'm just gonna wake up to more pain and more of my brain barely working yet still refusing to go to sleep#this is awful. i feel imprisoned in my own existence. nothing new but nevertheless it's still tiring even if I'm used to it#suicide //#vent#negative //#ask to tag#×××× ×§×Š×× ×˘××ר×× ×˘× ××××ת×× ×#lowkey contemplating taking a bunch of pills now. to maybe stay asleep for longer at least. or hopefully (tho unlikely) die#I'm gonna at least take a clonazepam so i can fall asleep in the next hour or two. hopefully for more than 5 hours this time#(in the last 72ish hours i slept 10 hours in total. so. good vibes only here đ)
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SSR Idia Shroud - Room Relaxation Voice Lines
Whew... Finally that pesky sun's gone down... Now, it's my turn to shine!
Summon: Fheeheehee, once I change into these clothes, I'm utterly invincible!! ...K, guess I'll go grab the birthday voice lines from my games, then.
Groovification: I wake up on my birthday with horrible bedhead and stiff joints everywhere after falling asleep during gaming... Ah, another wonderfully normal day!
Home: This is when my true form is unlocked...!
Swap Looks: I can fix my bedhead in a snap, so.
Home Transition 1: Haaahď˝ I need more soft things to cuddle... Maybe I'll buy a kitty-shaped cushion as a birthday gift for myself...
Home Transition 2: Cater-shi and the other guys in my class said to come by the classroom on my birthday and they'll celebrate with me... Well, unfortunately, I've got a stomachache planned for that day...
Home Transition 3: I snuck out to the Mystery Shop in the middle of the night and saw someone that looked just like Epel-shi covertly buying huge chunks of jerky. Or, was that a dream?
Home Transition - Login:Â Oh, a new high score! Looks like with the new memory upgrade, both me and my computer have gotten better! Fheeheehee!
Home Transition - Groovy:Â I can't believe he heard my mumbling to myself... A beastman's ăźor ratherăź Jack-shi's sense of hearing is something to be feared.
Home Tap 1:Â I may hate exercise, but I could dance and cheer to my fav idols for hours on hours... Never underestimate a fanboy's potential!
Home Tap 2: If I braided my hair like Jamil-shi does, maybe it'd look cool, like a flame whip... Nah, I'd definitely get teased for it. Nevermind.
Home Tap 3:Â Ah! Ortho's gonna get mad at me again that I left all my manga laying around. Guess I'll just have to clean it up with a bit of magic.
Home Tap 4: Why've there been waaaay too many good anime to watch recently!? I got not time to watch everything, there's still older masterpieces and movie adaptions I need to watch too!!
Home Tap 5:Â Since I'm just a shut-in pretty much all the time, it's not like I've set aside clothes for lounging and clothes for going out. I've even gone to town wearing this... You got a problem with that?
Home Tap - Groovy:Â Oh, this? It's a limited edition Premo shirt from one of their live performances. Hey, wait, you better not buy one from a reseller just 'cause they don't sell it anymore. Don't do it!
Duo: [IDIA]: I'm getting birthday wishes... from Jack-shi!? [JACK]: 'Cause it's your birthday, Idia-senpai!
Birthday Login Message: Hi... Need something from me? ...My birthday? Oh, well, now that you mention it! Th-Thanks... I completely forgot after Ortho wished me a happy birthday this morning... Did I get anything from anyone else? Wh-Wh-Why're you asking a loner like me that!? I p-pretty much just avoid everyone else, so. The most I did today was play with Azul-shi during our Boardgame Club time... Obviously I utterly crushed him!! ...Eh, you think he went easy on me 'cause it was my birthday? Uh-huh... If you really think that, how about a game, then? Don't come crying to me later after you lose, though, fheehee.
Requested by @farfalla049.
#twisted wonderland#twst#idia shroud#jack howl#twst idia#twst jack#twst translation#twst birthday#mention: cater#mention: epel#mention: jack#mention: jamil#mention: ortho
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West Side | Pornstar!Javier PeĂąa x Fem!Reader | Part 5 of Unscripted Desire | ~15k wc | Series Masterlist | gif cred | Explicit. Minors DNI.
Summary: A lot of firsts with Javi.
Tags: smut, slight angst, nipple play, dry humping, lots of making out, alcohol consumption, dirty talk, jealousy, edging, overstimulation, use of sex toys (vibrator), oral (f receiving), cum eating, unprotected p in v sex (finally), javi is clipped (not mentioned), babe wake up pornstar!javi lore just dropped, no use of y/n, any typos/grammar mistakes are of my own doing and i apologize in advance, if i missed any other tags pls let me know ok thx.
A/N: i attempted to make this chapter a little longer, definitely filthier, and above all: satisfying. shoutout to my bestie hermosa @persephone-girl for reading over part of this and quelling all the second thoughts i had in the middle of writing it out đ¤ love you guys, enjoyyyy â¨
You purse your lips at your reflection, tilting your head as if a new angle will make everything click. The phone is wedged between your shoulder and ear, and Connieâs voice crackles over the line, keeping you company.Â
âSince when do you care so much about getting dolled up?â she teases, picking up on the way youâre fussing.
You tug the hem of the dress down a bit, âThatâs not even the issue here,â you counter, a little more defensively than you meant. âItâs just⌠what do you even wear on a date with someone like Javier?â
Connie lets out a sly laugh. âWell, if I knew more about him, maybe Iâd be able to help you out here.â
You huff, rolling your eyes even though she canât see it, leaning closer to the mirror as you swipe at the mascara wand. âYouâre still on that?â
âItâs not every day that my friend leaves with a man like that at the end of her shift, only to find out heâs some annoyingly hot coworker she didnât even bother mentioningââ
âThere was nothing to mention,â you cut in quickly.
âNothing to mention?â she repeats, scandalized. âHe ate you out in an elevator, you talked an orgasm out of him, and you let him slip the tip of his dick insideââ
âOkay!â You cut her off again, voice a bit higher than intended. âShouldnât you be out saving lives or something?â
âCurrently on day two, hour nine, of my three-twelves.â Her sigh fills your ear. âIâm exhausted. Let me live through your smokinâ sex life so I donât tear my hair out.â
âSteve not doing it for you anymore?â you tease, rubbing away a bit of lipstick that smudged onto your teeth.
âOh, he is, but after three overnight shifts? Even the thought of sex is exhausting,â she admits, a laugh edging her words.Â
You get it; distinctively thinking about the last spring break week where you worked non-stop, running from shoots all day to the bar all night on three hours of sleep.
That was definitely the week you aged five years in one go.
âNow, back to you,â she snaps you out of your memories. âWhat did you finally decide on?â
âThe black dress.â You say it like itâs the only logical choice.
She groans, dragging it out for dramatic effect. âNo. You wear that thing out all the time.â
âI bought it for a reason. To wear it.â
âOh, come on. I think you should switch it up a little. Make it more fun.â
âFun?â you echo, skeptical, glancing over at your closet.
âFun,â she confirms, âlike that mini skirt with the flowy fabric. Makes your ass look so good and shows just enough cheek to leave him hanging,â she says all playfully, âJust throw on a top that shows the girls off and youâll be set. Itâs flirty and hot⌠exactly like your little boy toy and way fresher than a black dress.â
You snort, feeling a little flutter at the mention of Javier being your boy toy. âA classic date-night outfit is classic for a reason, you know?â
âMhmm, so classic Iâm falling asleep. Go grab the skirt and thank me later,â she presses.
You grumble out a fine, deciding to humor her. Maybe you will like it better than the dress.
Rummaging through your closet is a little difficult with the corded phone in your hand but you manage, finally spotting the garment under the mountain of clothes that youâve just thrown in here and pretended werenât your problem.
âWhereâs he taking you, anyways?â
âNo idea, which makes the getting ready process even more difficult. Iâm putting you down,â you warn her, setting down the receiver on your dresser.
You toss aside a few ânot quiteâ options before finding a top cute enough for this flirty and hot vision sheâs painting. The deep color of it has your skin glowing, the cut of the neckline making your tits look enticing.
The snug skirt teases just enough at your thighs and you do a half turn, glancing back at the mirror to check your own ass outâand damn if she wasnât on the money.
âOkay, Iâm back.â
âAnd?â
You pause, smiling as you take in your reflection. âI look hot.â
Thereâs a sharp, delighted squeal on her end. âSee? I told you! Thatâs what friends are forâgiving you advice you donât listen to until youâre basically forced to.â
Her laugh makes you grin, but then you hear a muffle as she talks to someone else in the background. She comes back, tone rushed but still playful. âAlright, Iâm being called back onto the floor. But seriously, have fun. Donât put out unless you want to, and please, please, donât wait months to fill me in, okay?â
âI wonât,â you chuckle, her instructions making you feel like youâre back in high school. âThanks, Con.â
âGo get him, you vixen,â she teases, and the line goes dead, leaving you with your thoughts.
Youâve been doing everything possible not to spiral into overthinking, trying to act normal about this date. Part of you still canât believe itâs actually happening.
Youâve fought him, resisted him, silently judged others for falling for his charmsâyet somehow still managed to give in.
If someone had told you months ago that youâd be in this position, you wouldâve straight up laughed in their face.
The whole trajectory of it feels warped. You canât help but wonder if this is all some elaborate game, a long con to get you in his bed.
But then, the doubts donât quite hold up, not with how much effort heâs put into just getting your attention. If it were about sex, he wouldnât need all thisâhe could walk outside, flash that lazy, dimpled grin, and probably have someone falling for him within seconds.
Hell, he could call one of his co-stars and make it that much easier on himself.
Yet, he keeps choosing you, showing up with this sincerity thatâs completely messed with your head, confessing feelings and sticking around like heâs actually serious. Heâs taken over your mind, lingering there like a sexy, infuriating ghost.
At least youâve given yourself an ultimatum: if this goes south, youâll walk away and heâll leave you alone.
You still remember how low you felt after things with Frankie, and that was amicably ended.Â
With Javier, it would sting worse if he turned out to be the arrogant womanizer youâd pegged him as after all the shit thatâs transpired between the two of you.
You finish getting ready and head into the kitchenette, grabbing a shot glass. You pour yourself a quick splash of Fireball, hoping itâll help you feel a little more mellow, maybe a little less wound-up. You toss it back, letting the burn calm the nerves that wonât stop buzzing as the minutes drag by.
Then, you hear the familiar creak of the stairs, the soft shuffle of footsteps, followed by a knock at the door. Your heart skips a beat.
With a deep breath, you slip on a light jacket and grab your purse before unlocking the door and swinging it open.
The sight that greets you could knock the air right from your lungs.
His typical black leather jacket stretches across his broad shoulders, a flushed blue shirt underneath, his neck on full display while the top of his chest teases you beneath the few undone buttons.
His jeans fit him perfectly, hugging his narrow waist and leading down to a pair of well-worn leather boots. But what really catches your attention is the single peony he holds delicately in his hand.
âHey,â you greet, trying to keep it casual, as if your heart isnât pounding just from seeing him stand there. He is so damn handsome, it almost feels unfair.
His gaze roams over you, like he doesnât know where to look, definitely lingering on your legs then your cleavage before his warm, brown eyes meet yours. âYou look good, nena.â He leaves you feeling like heâs undressing you with just that look.
You bite back a smile and raise an eyebrow, opting to tease him. âThanks, Javi. You look⌠exactly how you always do.â
He chuckles, a lazy smile spreading across his face, and you catch a little dimple on his cheek. âDamn. And here I thought I put in more effort tonight.â He licks his lips, then holds out the flower. âThis is for you. I mightâve mentioned our night out to my neighbor, and she clipped this from her garden. Thought it was less on the nose than a red rose.â
You take it from him, its soft petals brushing against your fingers, and bring it to your nose. The sweet, fresh scent makes you sigh a little.
Heâs doing the bare minimum, bringing you a fucking flower, and youâre already feeling all warm and mushy. Youâll just blame the one shot of whisky for that. âTalking me up already?â
He chuckles, his eyes appreciating the way your makeup highlights each feature.
âLetâs just say I bum cigarettes off her in exchange for a little company. You just happened to come up.â
âWell now I have to know what you said.â
âMaybe one day.â
This moment already feels charged for no reason.
âIâm going to hold you to thatâ you warn him playfully. âThank her for me. And tell her sheâs got good taste in flowers.â
He gives you a nod, eyes softening. âI will. You ready?â
âMhm,â you hum, stepping out to lock the door behind you.
As you turn, you realize how close heâs standing, and the scent of mint and cologne hits you in an instant, making your head spin. He smells fucking incredible.
âSo,â you start, trying to ignore the fact that you can practically feel the heat radiating from his skin. âWhere are we going?â
He falls into step beside you as you both head down the stairs. âTo the best food truck in the city.â
âReally?â You raise an eyebrow, both amused and a little charmed by the casual choice.
He nods, a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. âItâs by Lake Hollywood Park, which is convenient âcause weâll end our night around there.â
It seems like he has an actual plan for this date, which surprises you, but then again heâs been full of fucking surprises since the moment you met him. âSounds like fun. Better not be shit though,â you say, adjusting your bag strap on your shoulder, twirling the flower between your fingers.
âI think Iâve lived in L.A. long enough now to know whatâs good and what isnât.â
So heâs not native to this city, which was kind of obvious with the slight twang some of his words seem to have. You wonder where heâs actually from.
As you reach the sidewalk, Javier surprises you by sliding his hand into yours, smooth and confident. The gesture catches you off guard, and you can feel heat pooling at your cheeks. Heâs annoyingly charming, and he knows it.
His hand is so much bigger than yours, rough skin brushing against your softer palm in a way that feelsâwell, it feels like it fits.
Your mind doesnât miss a beat, leaping straight to the memory of his fingers pressed inside you, knuckle deep, his tongue flicking at your clit as you unraveled for him.
You bite the inside of your lip, willing yourself to stay cool, but damn, those hands could do a lot of things.
How you even fit two of his fingers remains a mystery, but itâs one youâre more than willing to solve again.
âThis okay?â he asks, glancing down with a glint of mischief in his eyes, catching you right in the middle of your little lustful trance.
âPerfectly fine,â you reply, squeezing his hand, that glint pulling you in deeper, and you let it.
âOkay, I think I have a little more faith in your spot now that weâre here.â You settle across from Javier at the picnic table you managed to snag nearby, eyeing the food as he sets it out between you.
He smirks, raising an eyebrow. âYou doubted me?â
âJust a little.â You pinch your thumb and finger together with a playful grin, scrunching your nose as you laugh. His lopsided smile makes an appearance, sending your heart into a flutter.
âThen Iâll let the food do the talking. Let that be my âI told you so.ââ
âOh, please, I donât need to hear that twice in one day.â
As you stick your straw into your cup of hibiscus agua fresca, the sweet flavor hits you instantly, and you let out a delighted little hum without even thinking.
His gaze snaps to you, amusement lighting up his eyes. âSomeoneâs already beaten me to it?â
âConnie,â you confess, dragging your tray of tacos closer and inhaling the smell that makes your stomach practically growl. âShe helped me pick this outfit, you know, since someone here was pretty vague on the details.âÂ
He chuckles, reaching for the salsa verde and giving his tacos a generous drizzle before handing the bottle over. âI told you weâd be outside. I thought thatâd be enough.âÂ
You take it from him, fingers brushing together, and damn if your skin doesnât actually tingle. âHonestly, I was expecting more of a steakhouse vibe.â
He gives a soft scoff, looking amused. âThatâs not really my style. Iâd feel like a total fraudâŚâ he pauses, studying your expression, âunless thatâs what you wanted. I could do it if thatâs what youâre into.â
Your tongue darts over your lower lip as you take in his thoughtfulness. âNah. This is...perfect, actually.â
A light sparks in his eyes at your word choice. âPerfect, huh?â
You playfully roll your eyes, âUh huh, donât get a big head over it.â
âSo, I owe Connie for getting you in that skirt?â His voice is smooth, that teasing lilt unmistakable.
Heat climbs up your neck, pooling at your cheeks. âYou like it?â
His eyes narrow slightly, that look dark and appreciative. âI think itâs sexy as hell, yeah. But in an effort to be more...gentlemanlyâTe ves hermosa. Like always.â
Normally, youâd roll your eyes at him laying it on thick, but right now? You donât mind it at all.
The attention feels genuine, his words dipping straight between your legs rather than floating on his usual bravado.
âSweet talk me all you want,â you say, trying to rein yourself in, âbut the real test of this dateâs success? It all lies in this meal.â
He chuckles, and youâre grateful for the little shift, picking up a taco and clinking it with his, like a toast. The first bite is practically life-changingâthe smoky, spicy flavors somehow better than youâd even anticipated.
âOh wow,â you say, chewing slowly with a hand hovering over your mouth. âNot bad, PeĂąa. This is actually delicious.â
His grin is smug, triumphant, and as he takes another bite, youâre momentarily distracted by the way his jaw flexes, muscles taut as he chews. And damn, if you donât notice every bit of him in that damn leather jacket, his dark hair slightly tousled and looking as if he were some walking sex deity.Â
You mentally curse yourself for already feeling way too into him.Â
You chat lightly, going over the usual first-date questions. Somehow, even the simple stuff feels easy and natural with himâthereâs something in the way he responds that keeps you drawn in, even if the questions themselves arenât all that thrilling.
Whatâs your favorite color? Whenâs your birthday? Where are you from?
âTexas. And you?â he answers, swiping the napkin over his lips before balling it up, tossing it into his now empty tray.
So heâs a southern boy. That detail definitely adds to his charm. You tell him the name of your hometown, and then, after a beat, add, âBit far from home, huh? Got family here?â
He shakes his head, reaching into his jacket for a pack of gum. He pulls out two pieces, offering you one.
Okay, another bare minimum act thatâs got you all fucking blushy.
âNah,â he says, chewing his own piece of gum. âItâs just me out here.â
âYour family must be thrilled about what you doâŚwait, do they know?â you ask, unwrapping the stick and glancing at him.
He sighs, scratching at his jaw. âMy pops knows. My momâŚâ He pauses, a shadow of something crosses his face. âShe passed when I was in high school.â
Your heart squeezes, a flicker of guilt making you wince. âIâm sorry, I didnât mean toââ
âDonât sweat it,â he interrupts gently, waving it off casually. âIt gets tiring hearing it. But yeah, my pops and the rest of themâŚthey donât exactly jump for joy when it comes to my job. Guess itâs a good thing I stopped giving a fuck about what they think.â
The reality of it sinks in as you watch him across the table, his eyes distant for a moment. Youâd never really thought about how it all might affect him (or any of the other stars, honestly) outside of sets and studios.
The world sees sex work as some kind of sordid choice, casting assumptions.
Sure, itâs got its problematic aspects just like any other industry, but with the puritan culture thatâs plagued society since the beginning of time, really, itâs seen as such a devious thing when in reality; it could be something so beautiful. A celebration of the human body, of the unity between two people.
Whether youâre a woman or a manâyou bear the weight of every stereotype, every judgment, and, especially, the stigma that comes with it.
You hesitate, but your curiosity gets the best of you. âAre you close with them?â
He doesnât answer right away. Instead, he absently smooths his mustache with his thumb and forefinger, eyes thoughtful. âYes and no.â
Something in his tone tells you this isnât a thread to pull on right now. So, you pivot the conversation, deciding to leave that part of him for another night.
You glance at your tray, grinning. âThis might actually be the best meal Iâve had in a long time. And Iâm not bullshitting you.â
His eyes light up, that charming, lazy smile sliding back into place. âIâll refrain from saying I told you so.â
You laugh, throwing a crumpled napkin at him, which he catches without missing a beat.
He leans in, his voice low. âSo, now that Iâve won your approval in the food department, Iâve gotta finish on a strong note so I donât mess it all up, right?â
You feel your pulse quicken âSure do. Got anything up your sleeve, or is this where the gentlemanly plan ends?â
âIâve got plans.â His voice dips, his eyes tracing over you, wetting his lips and that thudding begins to thrum faintly between your thighs. âThought weâd take a walk, keep getting to know each otherâŚâ The suggestive way in which heâs speaking definitely gives his words a double meaning, âThen head to my favorite lookout spot. Best view in the city, hands down.Whatever happens to feel right can unfold after that.â
âSounds like youâre anticipating something unfolding.â
âCan you blame me? Youâre walkinâ around lookinâ good enough to eat.â
You feel a thrill dancing up your spine at his bluntness, âBoundaries still stand, Javi. Iâm not sleeping with you.â
He chuckles, a low, knowing sound that sends your stomach into a twist. âThatâs fine. I think Iâve shown we can have plenty of fun without crossing that line.â
Every electrifying sexual encounter hits you all at once, and as much as youâd hate to admit it, heâs right.Â
No one has ever gotten under your skin or tangled your senses like he does. With Javier, the tension builds until itâs all-consumingâwhether itâs the way his hands map every inch of your skin or his mouth works you over. Itâs maddening, how easily he pulls you apart and leaves you craving more.
âAnd If I remember correctly, I wasnât the one begging for more.â
A hot flash sweeps through you. âYouâre so fucking annoying.â
He grins, not missing a beat. âAdmit it, you like it.â
And as you share an amused glance, you canât help but think⌠yeah, maybe you do.
The two of you walk side by side under the soft glow of the street lights lining the park. He flicks open his lighter, cigarette wedged between his lips, and you watch the quick flame as it lights up his face for a second before fading out.
You would usually mind the smoke, but somehow, with him, itâs just⌠fitting. A small indulgence that somehow suits his edges.
âFavorite music genre?â you ask, breaking the quiet.
âWould it be a cop-out to say a little bit of everything?â
âOh absolutely.â
Javier pauses, a thoughtful look in his eyes as he takes a long drag from his cigarette. âAlright, alright. Probably rap. Used to be all about rockâmy pops had me hooked young. But out here? My taste has gotten a little West Coast.â
âA Texan boy gone Cali,â you say, feigning surprise. âYou love to see it.â
He laughs, his eyes crinkling as he glances at you, then flips the question back. âWhat about you?â
âR&B. Lauryn Hill and Destinyâs Child have provided the soundtracks to some very pivotal moments in my life.â
He nods, and for a while, the conversation flows smoothly from one topic to anotherâfavorite childhood memories, the dumb stuff you did as teenagers, and random things you never imagined youâd share with him.
Javi raises an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. âI bet you were a teacherâs pet.â
âTeacherâs pet? No way. I was a bit of a know-it-all, but I had this rebellious streak,â you admit, âGot in trouble more than once for talking back. I just couldnât help it.â
âFigures. Youâve got that fire.âÂ
Eventually, he flicks his cigarette to the ground, stamping it out before looking at you with a curious glint in his eye. âI gotta ask you something,â he says, his voice dipping just a bit. âAnd be honest. Why didnât you like me?â
Itâs not the first time heâs asked you this, but now that youâre seeing him in a different light, the answer comes easily, less defensive. âOkay,â you start, meeting his gaze. âI wasnât a fan of how you... got around. And the way youâd micromanage every move during shoots, like your way was always best. Or how youâd just use your dick to get whatever you wanted.â
His silence stretches, and he takes out another piece of gum, nodding slowly as he listens. âAnd when we met, you were already trying to charm your way into my pants like I was one of your groupies,â you add, âMade it feel like you were always angling for something. I guess I just didnât want to be another name on your list.â
He exhales, scratching at his jaw. âFair enough,â he declares. âI didnât always used to be like this. The whole showboating thing, itâs sort of⌠a front, I guess. When I started, I had to become a different version of myself. This cocky asshole who had his shit together because⌠fuck, I didnât know what else to do. After the bullshit back home, I needed the distance. I needed to prove something.â
Thereâs something in his tone that pulls at you, but you donât press. Youâre surprised heâs even sharing this much.
âThe women, the confidenceâall of it. Figured thatâs who I had to be to make it. And it worked up until you left⌠when I realized just how fucked things had gotten for me. After walkinâ out on Robbie, Iâve been trying to be more careful with the jobs I take but fuck, itâs hard.â
This manâthis smooth, confident guy you thought you had all figured outâcarries more than his rugged allure and that killer smile.
Sympathy blossoms, the kind that grows for someone whoâs managed to build walls without even meaning to.
The details remain unsaid, and though curiosity simmers, you let the silence hang.
âYouâll figure it out, Javi. Life has a funny way of kicking you when youâre down, but somehow, things start falling into place eventually. Might sound like a bad fortune cookie, but itâs true.â
His gaze intense and warm under the park lights, brown eyes looking softer, shadows dancing across his face. The way he looks at you makes your legs shake.
You canât help the small, vulnerable smile that plays at your lips as you wonder if maybe, just maybe, this moment is worth disregarding your own rules for.
His eyes flicker down to your mouth almost on instinct, and youâre caught in a breath, almost tempted to close the space and feel those lips on yours.
But instead, you let the moment breathe between you, keeping the tension electric, and heâs the one who finally breaks the silence. âThanks nena. Hereâs to hopinâ I donât have to make a trip down to the unemployment office.â He jokes with a laugh that pulls one out of you too, âLetâs head back. Got one more thing to show you.â
As you both turn back towards his truck, he reaches for your hand again, his fingers curling around yours, gentle and reassuring. You lean into him, resting your head on his arm as you walk. It feels natural, like youâre both finally seeing each other, piece by piece, without all the defenses.
A gentle breeze passes through as you lean against the hood of Javierâs truck, taking in the iconic view.
The twinkling city lights are sprawled out in front of you, while the Hollywood sign looms large and proud in the background. Youâve avoided tourist traps since you moved to LA. Dealing with the general public and pornstars on sets on a daily basis already felt like a big enough dose of Hollywood.
Tonight, though, thereâs some kind of magic in being here and you can see why people find themselves drawn to it. Maybe it has something to do with the handsome man beside you.
âYou bring all your dates here?â you ask, teasingly.
Javier rubs his lips together, a quiet smile flickering at the edges. âI donât go on many dates, believe it or not.â He inches a little closer, draping his arm around your shoulder.
âOh wow, PeĂąa. So smooth.â You roll your eyes, but you canât ignore the steady, intoxicating scent of him, the one thatâs been teasing you all night, and how it engulfs you entirely.
Thereâs a warmth that reaches from his body to yours, one you canât help but lean into as your hand finds his, fingers lacing loosely.
Resting your head just near his chest, you feel the gentle rise and fall of his breath, solid and steady.
âCanât let this night end without you knowinâ what my intentions are.â He pauses, then adds, âI want to keep seeing you.â His words melt into the night as he dips his head to press a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his face nuzzling softly into your hair.
Your breath catches for just a moment, and he feels it too, the faint hesitation creeping in.
Because the truth is, youâre not sure exactly what you want from this. A relationship? A fling? Could you handle being with someone whose job meant fucking other peopleâeven if emotions are fully detatched?
You draw away slightly, positioning yourself to stand between his legs now as he leans against the truck, watching you, a question in his eyes.
âTonight was wonderful. Better than a lot of first dates Iâve been onâŚâ you trail off, and he quirks an eyebrow, a hint of concern already flashing in his eyes.
âButâŚ?â he prompts, his voice soft but wary.
âLook, I have the utmost respect for what you do. I know what it takes, if anyone can understand what you actors go through, itâs me and all the other crews out there. Iâve seen shit hit the fan more times than I can count.â You twist your fingers, feeling the tension between wanting him and feeling hesitant. âBut dating someone in the industry⌠I donât know if Iâm cut out for that.â
His shoulders drop a little, and he sighs. âYeah⌠I figured.â He lets out a rough laugh, though itâs clear heâs disappointed. âNot the first time this has happened, or the last, probably. I just⌠I guess I was hopinâ this would be different.â
âItâs not about you, or⌠or the work. I donât care that youâre in porn.â you say gently. âItâs just the idea of dating someone whoâwell, you know.â
He lets out a sigh, a heavy, defeated sound, and his eyes meet yours. âI know, nena, trust me. Itâs a lot. Iâm not holding it against you.â His hand runs over his face, frustration tightening his jaw. âItâs justâŚdisappointing as fuck, but I get it.â
Before he can sink too deeply into the regret, of thinking heâs wasted a night taking you out, you reach out, catching his wrists and gently pulling his hands down. Youâre close enough now to feel his breath brush across your cheek, and you hold his gaze, fierce and a little daring.
Youâd be fucking stupid to walk away from all this without knowing what it feels like to kiss him, the man whoâs wound you up so tight and left you as breathless as he has conflicted.
Slowly, you place his hands on your waist, leaning in until your lips barely touch his, your breath mingling together. You can practically feel his heart beating against his chest.
âKiss me, Javi,â you murmur.
Thereâs no hesitation. His mouth meets yours, warm and certain, sending a spark through every nerve. His hands tighten around your waist, pulling you closer, and you lose yourself in him.
Javierâs mouth moves against yours like heâs savoring every second, his lips plush and gentle, taking his time.Â
Itâs all so new, so beautifully unhurried.
You meet his pace, moving your lips softly, feeling the slight press and release. When he parts from you slightly, youâre already missing the taste of his mouth, chasing after him.
Then he tilts his head and leans in again, deepening the kiss, his lips fitting against yours with more purpose. He presses closer, his body warm and solid, and you feel his tongue swipe slowly across your lower lip.
A shiver runs through you as you part your lips for him, and the moment his tongue dips into your mouth, a soft moan escapes you, helpless against the sensation.
The sound seems to set something off inside him. Suddenly, the kiss grows hot and urgent, his hands gripping your hips as if heâs afraid to let go, kneading the flesh there while his mouth moves against yours with a new hunger.
Your own hands find their way to his jaw, your fingers sliding up to frame his face, desperate to bring him closer, needing the taste of him to linger.
The feel of his mustache brushes against your sensitive skin adds an edge that only heightens every sensation heâs bestowing on you.
Your tongue meets his, every glide and stroke of it fueling an ache that spreads through you, heat pooling as your teeth clash slightly, both of you pouring months of pent-up desire and frustration into this kiss.
His hold on your waist tightens as your hands slide up to tangle in his hair, tugging at it, and he lets out a low, guttural grunt that gets your bones vibrating.
In one swift movement, Javier maneuvers you, switching positions so that your back is pressed against the hood of his truck.
The cool metal beneath you contrasts with the heat of his body, and one of his hands slides from your waist, strong and possessive, until it grips the plushness of your thigh, hitching it over his hip and pulling your core against his.
The friction, the way his body aligns so perfectly with yours, ignites every nerve in your body.
You gasp against his mouth when his hard length presses against your clothed cunt, right where you need him most. The pressure sends a surge of arousal pooling low in your belly, and you arch into him, craving his intensity.
Your own hands roam, sliding to his jaw, feeling the scratch of his stubble against your palm, then his back, his shoulders, reveling in the feel of him. His mouth moves from your lips to your jaw, tracing a slow, wet line down to your neck, where he leaves a trail of heated kisses that have you gasping for air.Â
The burn in your lungs is nothing compared to the ache building between your legs, an ache that only grows sharper every time he ruts his hips against yours.
âGonna make me cum in my pants kissinâ me like that,â he mumbles against your neck..
He drags his lips back up, brushing his nose against yours, coaxing you into another kissâthis one softer, more controlled, yet no less potent.
Youâre breathless when you part again, but itâs as though your body doesnât care, desperate to keep feeling him against you.
When he reaches the curve of your breasts, he pauses, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses over the swells, grazing the sensitive skin with his teeth just enough to make you shiver.
âPlease, Javi,â you murmur, though youâre not even sure what youâre asking for. All you know is that youâre floating in this thick haze of desire, utterly lost in him, the feel of his lips, the intoxicating drag of his teeth against your skin.
His mouth curls into a smirk against your collarbone, and he lifts his head slightly, his hand sliding over the fabric of your top, shifting it down until your breasts are bared to the cool night air.
You gasp, eyes widening, instinctively sitting up straighter, a half-laugh, half-nervous glance flicking around your surroundings, instinctively pulling him closer to shield you.
His dark eyes meet your gaze, a flicker of mischief swirling with the lust there.
âHere? What if someone sees us?â you breathe, heart thudding in your chest as the chill hardens your nipples to sensitive peaks.
âNo oneâs gonna bother us, nena, te lo prometo.â Before you can respond, his mouth is on your neck, placing a soft, slow kiss there, licking a stripe and tasting your perfume.
His hands find your breasts, fingers curling around the supple skin, his thumbs brushing your nipples in languid circles that have you melting against him, your breath catching with each teasing stroke.
Itâs impossible to focus on anything when Javierâs so in tune with every inch of your body, instinctively reading each gasp and shiver.
His hands are so skilled, cupping, squeezing, until one trails along your waist, playing with your pretty skirt with a firm, claiming touch.
It's the perfect push and pull that floods your senses with him, until youâre completely lost.
His scent fills your lungs, his taste lingers on your tongue, feeling his perfect fucking body against you, hearing his subtle grunts, your vision glazed over with tears of pleasure from how heâs making you feel.Â
He watches your reactions, eyes dark and filled with a simmering hunger as you lean flat against the hood of the truck, giving him access.
His mouth descends again, and he looks up at you when heâs reached your breasts. âNot gonna fuck you, since Iâm beinâ a gentleman and all,â he murmurs, the words hot against your skin, âbut I am gonna get you off just by playinâ with your tits.â
The whimper you let out is animalistic, your legs wrapping around his waist, pressing him closer.
Javierâs mouth is unrelenting, lips wrapping around your nipple with a hot, wet pressure that sends electric jolts straight to your cunt.
His tongue swirls over the sensitive peak, teasing it, as his teeth scrape the aching bud ever so lightly, making you gasp. Then he shifts, sinking his mouth lower to nip, to suck harder, his fingers coming up to twist your other nipple roughly, pinching and tugging at it, making you cry and writhe beneath him.
âOh fuck that feels so good.â You canât help but be so vocal and he loves it, the sound of your voice doing just as much to get him off in the same way that his mouth doesnât let up on your tits.
His other hand is no less demanding, gripping your thigh and ass with rough squeezes, the heat of his touch spreading through the thin barrier of your skirt. When he smacks your flesh, the jolt arches your back off the hood of the truck, pulling a breathy moan from your lips that has him smirking against your chest.
Youâre soaked, and he can feel it, his cock pressing insistently against the heat of your clothed pussy as your hips grind down onto him, building a rhythm that he matches with his mouth.
His tongue circles, flicks, and finally he pulls at the hard peak with his teeth, sending another shockwave through your body that has you rolling your hips, more wildly against him.
He pulls back just enough, a string of saliva still connecting him to you as he murmurs, âBaby, just with the way youâre movinâ your hips, I can tell you ride cock like a fuckinâ champ.â
His praise lights you up, fueling your need. Your fingers tangle in his hair as you pull him back to your chest.Â
He groans, his mouth latching onto your other breast with fervor, tongue flicking over your nipple rapidly before he pulls it into his mouth, the wet sounds of his lips smacking against your flesh, working your sensitive and pert nipples is filthy and obscene in the best way possible.
âSo good, Javi⌠Iâm so close,â you manage, the words spilling out unbidden.
He lets out a low groan as he adjusts the angle of your hips, pressing you firmly against his erection. The new angle grinds perfectly against your clit, drawing you deeper into the pleasure until itâs all-consuming, each nerve tuned only to him.
âOh, god⌠Javi,â you gasp, feeling the familiar coil of pleasure tighten, your orgasm creeping closer with every pull, every flick, every grind.
Your body is on fire, trembling as you near the edge, your breaths coming in gasps as you hump him, completely lost to the intensity building.
Javierâs mouth alternates between your breasts, each suck and bite tugging moans out of you until you feel like you might lose it.
When his lips finally find yours again, his fingers replace his mouth on your chest, rough and insistent as they pinch and twist your sensitive nipples.
His tongue sweeps into your mouth, deepening the kiss while your body trembles, your jaw slack as you melt into him, moaning his name into his mouth as your orgasm breaks over you in a helpless wave of bliss.
Your body locks up, head canting back and hitting the material beneath you with a gentle thump as you wail his name out into the night.Â
âThat's right, baby, just like that,â he murmurs, his praise and gentle kisses softening the overstimulation into something even more intoxicating.
His mouth trails over your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, every kiss pressing into your flushed skin while spots of pleasure blur your vision.
As you go limp against the cool hood, Javierâs touch softens on your chest, his fingers now gently kneading the sensitive flesh while he eases you back down, his lips trailing tender kisses over each swell before pulling your top back into place.
He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his deep inhale followed by warm, nipping kisses, his mustache scratching your skin just enough to bring out a fresh shiver from you.
âJavi,â you whimper, barely catching your breath, utterly wrecked and starstruck, amazed that he brought you so much pleasure by just teasing your breasts and rutting against you.
âYeah?â His voice is a husky rasp, a hint of satisfaction at his lips.
You giggle, breathless, âI⌠donât even knowâŚâ You laugh again, and he joins in, that low laugh rumbling in his chest as he cups your jaw, his thumb brushing over your cheek.
âYou enjoy that?â He tilts his head to the side, smugly grinning down at you.
âWhat do you think?â you tease back, still panting, eyes half-lidded.
You canât help but admire how sexy he looks with his swollen lips and mussed hair.Â
âWait you didn't finishââ You murmur, beginning to reach down to toy with his belt, but he catches your hand gently.
âDonât worry about me, nena.â His gravelly voice reassures you. âSeeinâ you like this is enough for me.âÂ
You frown, feeling like you should do something for him, but before you can argue, heâs leaning down to kiss you again, over and over, until youâre both sinking into another slow, heated makeout session under the open sky, everything else fading away.
Youâre standing in front of your door, the glow of your porch light casting soft shadows over the two of you. âThanks for tonight; I had a great time,â you say, though your legs still feel shaky from what happened earlier.Â
Javierâs eyes linger on you, âThank you for letting me take you out,â he says, his tone soft. âEven if⌠things arenât ending the way Iâd hoped.â
A frown flickers on your face, but you keep your tone light, forcing a gentle laugh.âWe can still be friends, you know? Thatâs one hell of an improvement from where we started.â
But your attempt to ease the tension doesnât reach him; his expression remains fixed, serious.
âI donât think I can just be friends with you.â
Then he goes and says something stupid like that.Â
âSo, what now?â you ask, voice sharper than you meant, forcing yourself to hold his gaze. âWe just⌠go our separate ways? Pretend none of this ever happened?â
He looks down, his jaw tense, and the silence that follows is thick, each second feeling like an eternity. His eyes meet yours and he sighs.
âI guess so.â
You release a bitter huff, shaking your head as you turn away, rummaging in your purse for your keys.
Fine. Fine. If thatâs the way he wants it, youâll let it be.
He calls your name, his voice slipping through your defenses like a last-ditch plea, making your shoulders tense. You ignore him, wrestling down the tide of frustration and vulnerability clawing its way back up.
Youâd told yourself you didnât want to get involved with him from the start, and now it feels like you should have stuck to your guns. Would have been easier to just tell him to kiss your ass that day he came into the bar, seducing you in your apartment, then asking you out on a date that ultimately meant nothing.
You find your keys and jam them into the lock, refusing to look back.
The second time he says your name, itâs firmer, and you whirl around to face him.
âJavier, listenâbefore tonight, I didnât think there was a chance in hell Iâd ever be into you. But I gave you a shot, and turns out, youâre not that bad. Youâre actually pretty fucking sweet,â you confess, half-laughing, but itâs tinged with the bitterness that you feel. âAnd maybe if things were different, I could see us together. But things arenât different. Theyâre the same as they always have been, and I wonât make you choose between me and your job.â
âI could quitââ
You let out a laugh, loud and unfiltered. âAnd do what? Youâre damn good at what you do, Javi. Iâve seen it firsthand, and yeah, most of the time itâs some pretty raunchy shit, but thereâs something almost⌠artistic in it, and Iâd feel selfish as hell if I was the reason you gave that up.â
He places his hands on his hips, shifting his weight, exasperation written in every taut line of his body. âDo I need to remind you that Iâm a grown-ass man who can make his own decisions? Iâm starting to hate this job, and I want you. I donât care if I have to work a hundred side gigs. If thatâs what it takes for you to be mine, Iâd do it in a heartbeat.â
The weight of his confession makes your grip on the doorknob tighten, his words sinking deeper than you want them to.
âJavi, please, think this throughââ
âYou sound like my agent,â he interrupts with a dry laugh, flexing his jaw. âIâve thought about it. Itâs all I can think about. I canât even keep my cock hard enough to fuck the girls on set anymore, and like I told you beforeâIâm not taking pills for that shit.â
He steps closer, and you feel a pang in your chest as his hand brushes yours, his gaze desperate, pleading with you to see him the way he sees you.
But itâs messy and itâs hard, and even if itâs everything you didnât know you wanted, youâre terrified it might be everything you donât know how to hold onto.
His hands slide up, fingers splaying gently over your cheeks, holding you as if heâs anchoring himself. âPlease stop fighting me on this,â he murmurs insistently. âI know what I want, and itâs you.â
The intensity in his eyes roots you in place, brown and warm and so damn certain itâs almost overwhelming. Youâre taken aback by the softness in his touch, by how steady his hands feel against your face.
Heâs usually much braver in action than in words, and yet here he is, unwavering.
âAnd youâre sure?â you whisper, not sure you can even trust yourself to hold up your guard.
âSi, nena.â Thereâs no hesitation, no doubt, just a rock-solid conviction that somehow soothes your racing heart.Â
âYouâre not gonna regret this down the line? Not even a little?â
âAbsolutely not.â His answer is quick and firm, like heâs spent every minute leading up to this one, getting ready to say it.
Oh, fuck. With him looking at you like that, you know you donât really have any other choice but to give Javier PeĂąa a shot at being your boyfriend.
âOkay⌠okay, Javi, fine. Weâll see where this goes, but if you start having even one doubtââ
He doesnât let you finish, cutting you off with his mouth on yours, pulling you close in a kiss thatâs somehow even more intense than you were expecting.
Itâs deep and consuming, worlds away from anything youâve ever felt, like heâs pouring everything he has into it, and you canât help but lose yourself in him like you have been since the moment things shifted in your dynamic.
When you finally come up for air, foreheads resting against each other, youâre both a little breathless, eyes shining with adoration.
âSo...weâre doing this?â he asks, a crooked smile on his face that makes him look boyish and so damn pretty.
âI guess we are.â
âDoes that mean I can come inside?â And with the way his lips quirk up into a cocky smile, you know exactly what this motherfucker means.
âNope, weâre taking things slow⌠and Iâm not fucking you until you get tested.â
He shrugs nonchalantly, âFair enough. I can work with that.â
You kiss again, his mouth soft and so damn inviting that it takes all your willpower to pull yourself back before youâre tempted to give in right here, in the doorway. âAlright, Javi,â you murmur, feeling his breath linger against your lips as he bites playfully at your lower lip before letting you go. âGoodnight.â
Heâs grinning, and itâs that smile that has a way of melting everything inside you. âGoodnight, nena. Iâll call you, set up our second date. Soon.â
The giddiness hits you hardâlike back when Frankie was all about pursuing you, only itâs different this time and you donât know why.
ââIâll be waiting.â
He quirks a brow. âI wonât make you wait too long.â
One last, lingering kiss and heâs gone, leaving you at the door, flushed, breathless, and completely jumbled in the best way possible.
âIt feels weird being on this side of the bar,â you say, settling onto a barstool across from Connie. Javier slides into the stool next to you, immediately pulling you closer, his hand warm and possessive on your thigh.
âIf youâre here to flaunt your relationship, you should start charging for itâI know Iâd pay to see it,â Connie teases with a wink, already preparing your usual drink and turning to Javier. âAnd what about you?â
âWhiskey. Neat,â he answers, then leans into you, his voice a murmur by your ear, his hand slipping higher up your thigh, sneaking under the hem of your dress. âShe does have a point, though.â
You smirk, pretending to ignore the way his fingers are trailing dangerously close to your panties. âNot sure Iâd be any good on camera. Not like you, anyway.â
He chuckles and you can feel the heat between you two, that ever-present hum of lust youâve been riding since the night he first kissed you.
Itâs been blissful a month of dating Javier, and being with him is like no relationship youâve had before.
Youâve found so much joy in the simplest moments with himâlike when he fixes the little issues around your apartment that your landlord could care less about, or, the lively debates you have in the grocery store aisles, passionately debating which brand of coffee is better.Â
Sure, you still havenât officially slept with him, but that hasnât stopped either of you from exploring each other. Heâs kept his promise to make you feel amazing, finding delicious ways to learn your body without actually crossing that line.
It has only made everything feel deeper, sweeter. The way you make out like teenagers, unraveling each other in all the ways that matter, has been more than enough.
It wasnât until a few days ago that you finally returned the favor, slipping into the shower with him and blowing his mind in every sense of the word, until he was helplessly spilling down your throat. Your jawâs still a little sore from how eagerly youâd gone down on him, the memory of his breathless groans seared in your mind.Â
Tonight, heâd asked you to be his girlfriend, officially. Heâd planned this whole evening at a rooftop restaurant, it was a little too fancy, but he looked at you like he couldnât believe his luck.
The restaurant itself was overpriced and borderline ridiculous, but you two had made a game of it, teasing and laughing over the small portions and the pretentious plating.Â
He even surprised you with a beautiful pair of earrings that you immediately put on, and he looked so damn proud when you showed them off.
Now youâre here at Luckyâs, both of you a bit overdressed, not ready to call it a night yet.
You can feel Javierâs gaze on you, intense and unwavering. âBaby, youâd be a fucking sight,â he says, teeth grazing your earlobe before he bites down gently, his warm breath tickling your skin and sending a shiver through you. You canât help but giggle, feeling breathless and flushed as he plants a quick kiss to your cheek.
âWhy are you two all dressed up?â Connie asks, setting your drinks down with a raised brow.
âWent out for dinner at the most overpriced spot Iâve ever set foot in. Easily spent my entire Friday nightâs tips, and Iâm still hungry.â
âNot only does that sound like a waste of time, but itâs definitely not your style.â
Javier leans back, one arm draped over your barstool. âTo clarify: she didnât spend a damn dime,â he interjects, âI had to take her somewhere special to ask her to be my girl,â he says, voice dripping with smooth confidence as he raises his glass for a sip.
Connieâs eyes light up, and your cheeks flush. âConsistent dick is the ultimate antidepressant. Trust me, Iâd know,â she says with a wink.
You laugh at her bluntness, and fall into an easy rhythm of conversation, her giving updates on things with Steve, then gushing over the earrings Javier had gifted you earlier.
Just as youâre leaning in to admire them together, you notice a figure approaching. A woman, older and stunningly beautiful, glides up to the barâher gaze fixed squarely on Javier.
âJavier, is that you?â Her voice is low, sultry, every word dripping with familiarity as she slides up beside him, her gaze unmistakably hungry. âDios mĂo, mira quĂŠ guapo te has puesto, mi amor.â
Your head snaps up, conversation with Connie dissolving as Javier stands, greeting her with a hug that makes you do a double take.
You share a look with Connie, her expression mirroring the curious frown you feel. She raises her brows, silently mouthing, Who is that?
I donât know, you mouth back, jealousy twisting in your stomach as you glance back at them.
They part, but her hands linger a moment too long on his chest, her manicured fingers trailing down. Javier very politely but firmly moves them away, a small frown creeping onto her face.
âJudy, long time no see.â His tone is courteous but distant. âThis is my girlfriend,â he says, his voice warm as he makes the introduction, stepping back to your side, positioning you squarely in her line of sight.
Youâre about to revel in the term girlfriend rolling so easily off his tongue, but her eyes lock onto you with a chill that runs down your spine. Standing your ground, you straighten, meeting her gaze head-on.
Sheâs stunning, her hair tastefully graying in elegant streaks against her rich brunette, her makeup precise and expensive. The smile lines around her mouth only enhance her aging beauty and if it werenât for the absolute diabolical vibes youâre getting from her, you would have complimented how good she looks.
The tailored outfit, chunky gold bracelets, diamond-studded earrings and matching necklace leave no questionâshe has money.
What sheâs doing at a dive bar like Luckyâs is beyond you, but maybe LA has its fill of pretentious types everywhere.
âEncantada,â she purrs, a fake smile flashing across her face before her focus shifts back to Javier. âÂżTienes novia? No lo puedo creer, Javiercito. Nunca me lo imaginĂŠ de ti.ÂżSigues actuando?â
Her words drip with disbelief, her eyes giving you a nasty once over, and you catch enough Spanish to know sheâs making a point to speak only to him. Itâs like youâre just a side note, something to size up and dismiss.
Javier shifts, catching the tension in your posture, but sheâs unrelenting. He responds curtly, âNo, not with others. More solo work now.â
She scoffs, a haughty tsk of disapproval as she tilts her head.âNo me digas que tu noviecita no te deja.â A mocking pout twists her lips. âMija, if youâre going to date a pornstar, youâre going to have to deal with the baggage that comes with it. You donât just get to benefit from him, from what I taught him.â
A flush of fury burns through you, and youâre on the verge of standing up, ready to beat her ass for her audacity. But Javier senses it and steps in, fingers pressing gently but firmly against your thigh, silently calming you down before you do something thatâll make him have to bail you out.
âIt was my choice. Gig isnât fun anymore,â he says firmly, a hint of irritation finally creeping into his tone. âWeâre actually in the middle of a date, so if you wouldnât mind leaving us to itâŚâ
She glances between the two of you, clearly displeased at being dismissed but not quite willing to push her luck. Her smile turns syrupy, and you roll your eyes, signaling Connie for another drink. Sheâs failing miserably at pretending like sheâs not listening in.Â
âOf course,â she says in a sugary tone, eyes lingering on him.âProvecho. Si cambias tu mente, sabes donde encontrarme, Javi. We used to have so much fun together.â Her fingers trace down his arm a little too slowly, and she practically purrs, âEnjoy your date, sweetheart,â as she struts off, hips swinging with exaggerated flair.
But his eyes donât follow, they turn to you.
Once sheâs out of earshot, you raise a brow, waiting for some explanation. âSo⌠who was that?â you ask as he sits back beside you, tossing back the last of his drink.
âAn old colleague,â he says flatly.
You feel another surge of jealousy, and the second your drink arrives, youâre downing it in one go.
âWoah, nena, take it easyââ
âIs that normal for you?â you ask, unable to hide the irritation bubbling up. âHaving fans⌠âcolleaguesâ just approach you out of nowhere, all of them ready to fuck?â You know your toneâs more annoyed than you intended, but the image of her hands all over him pisses you off.
He studies you, cautious, as if measuring his words. âHonestly? Yes. Iâm very popular, baby,â he says with a crooked smirk, trying to lighten the mood. âI thought you knew that.â
You let out a sigh, guilt creeping in for directing your irritation at him. âI know⌠I do. Thereâs just a difference between knowing and actually experiencing it.â You try to keep the bite out of your tone. âItâs not like she was being subtle either. Looked like she was two seconds away from spreading herself out for you right here.â
Thereâs definitely an adjustment that still needs to be made in terms of dating a pornstar.
âIâll be better about shutting them down,â he murmurs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. âEven if you do look hot when youâre jealous.â
You try to suppress a smile, rolling your eyes as he leans closer, brushing his lips along your bare shoulder, then trailing up to your neck, melting your frustration just a bit. Heâs too good at this.
âI wasnât jealous,â you lie, glancing sideways at him. âAlso didnât peg you as an âolder womenâ guy. Iâve only ever seen you with the younger girls.â Saying it even makes you cringe.
As if on cue, Connie, ever the observant bartender, swoops in with replacement drinks, eyebrows raised knowingly. âEverything good over here? I donât need to call an ambulance or anything, right?â
You snort out a laugh, shaking your head. âNo, Con, weâre fine.â
âEven though I wouldnât mind seeing her kick some ass.â Javier teases.
She laughs, nodding at you. âOh, you want to see her fight? Be here during a major sports event. Last year during March Madness, she gave this guy a black eye âcause he called her a cunt when she accidentally changed the channel, then ended up going toe-to-toe with his girlfriend.â
Javier raises his brows at you. âSeriously?â
You shrug, unfazed. âThey asked for it.â
As Connie gets pulled away by some patrons at the other end of the bar, Javier turns to you, his expression shadowed and a bit more serious than before.
âWhen I first started, my confidence was shot. Iâm talkinâ nonexistent,â he admits, his voice low.
You arch a brow, struggling to picture a less-than-assured Javier PeĂąa. âReally? Iâm having a hard time imagining that.â
âYeah, wellâŚâ He lets out a rough sigh, âWhen your fiancĂŠe gets knocked up and leaves you at the altar for the guy sheâs been cheating on you with, that tends to happen.â
You choke on your drink, and your hand flies to your chest, eyes wide. He glances at you, his concern slipping past his own discomfort for a second. You wave him off as you try to get it together, the words still rattling around in your mind.
âSorryâwhat?â you finally manage, hardly believing what you just heard.
âDidnât mean to dump it on you like that,â he says, leaning on the bar, his fingers tapping a slow, rhythmic beat on the counter, his gaze cast downward.
âHold up. You were engaged?â You canât help but lean in, your curiosity clawing to the surface. âAnd she left you?â Youâre struggling to piece it all together, mind spinning through images of the man sitting next to you, younger and heartbroken.
âYeah,â his jaw twitches. âHer name was Lorraine. We were high school sweetheartsâwhole âmarry your first loveâ thing.â Thereâs a hard edge in his voice now, his fingers gripping the glass a bit tighter. âThought Iâd have the life, fill a house with kids, do the whole all-American family bullshit.â His words are bitter, the resentment so clear you almost feel it yourself.Â
He takes a breath, rubbing the back of his neck before continuing. âWedding day comes around and sheâs gone. Left some half-assed note saying she âcouldnât do it,â and her sister finally broke down and told me what was really going on. Sheâd been screwing her boss. He got her pregnant.â
Thereâs a crash behind the bar as a glass shatters. You glance over to see Connie, her face red, scrambling to clean it up with an embarrassed apology. You canât blame her for listening inâyouâre feeling a similar gut punch.Â
You knew there was something that happened that made him jump the gun and move to California, now, you know what it is. An ainât shit ex.
âJavi, thatâs fucked. I canât even begin to imagine how much that must have hurt.â
He gives a small nod, lifting his glass and taking a slow sip.
From where youâre sitting, you can see his profile in the low lightâhis strong nose, the gentle curve of his cheekbones, those lips that naturally form a pout when heâs deep in thought.
"I tried to keep it together, but that town became⌠suffocating. The looks I gotâŚâ Javierâs voice trails off as he shakes his head. âSo I packed my shit, said goodbye to my pops, and just started driving. Stopped in all sorts of places, did some sightseeing, trying to figure things out.â A hint of a smile plays on his lips. âEnded up here, and Steve was the first friend I made. That assholeâs the one who got me into porn.â
Your brows shoot up, surprised yet again by his storyâs unexpected turns. âSteve? Oh god, donât tell me he used to do it too.â
Javier smirks, amusement dancing in his eyes. âHe did a few flicks. Nothing groundbreaking like me.â He says all cheekily, and you canât help but nudge him. âSo, yeah, I started out for a few bucks. Wasnât so hot in the beginningâand then I met Judy.â
At the mention of her, your face twists involuntarily, and he notices but ignores your reaction.Â
âShe taught me most of what I know, and we shot a lot of projects together. People liked what they saw, and after a while, I started getting paired with older co-stars. That kinda became my thing. MILFs and cougars,â he says, his gaze tracing your features to gauge your response.Â
Youâre still reeling from everything heâs told you so far, marveling at the many lives this man has lived before finding his way to you. âThat explains a lot, actually,â you say, your thoughts slipping out with your words.
It now makes sense why heâs so damn good at foreplay. Skills like his? Theyâre honed under women who know exactly what the fuck theyâre talking about, who arenât shy to take what they need.
Suddenly, your own insecurities begin to simmer and you wonder if youâll ever amount to the women before you.
He raises an eyebrow, intrigued. âYeah? Like what?â
You glance up, unflinching. âLike the fact that you can fuck.â Your bluntness pulls a laugh out of both of youâhis full of mischief, yours tinged with nerves.
âNot a problem, is it?â he asks, that signature smirk softened, yet curious.
Itâs a loaded question, so you take a sip, buying a little time before answering. âWhat, that you can fuck?â
He laughs again, more genuine this time, a sound that melts some of the tension inside you.
âNo, nena,â he replies, still grinning. âEverything else.â
The laughter fades, and for a moment, you sit in the quiet, watching tiny droplets slide down the condensation on your glass.
You take a deep breath, bracing yourself for honesty. âItâs not a problem, Javi. But⌠if Iâm being real with you, I donât feel up to par with what youâre used to.â
You can tell from the way his face falls into a scowl that he doesnât like how youâve phrased it. âWhat I have with you is different, cariĂąo. Not something scripted for a camera.âÂ
âI know that, but still. Youâre used to professionalsâpeople who know exactly what to do, how to look, how to please. Me?â You let out a shaky laugh, grimacing at your self deprecation, and your gaze falls to the drink in your hand. âYouâre lucky if I even get on top.â
As the last word falls, your cheeks flush with embarrassment, feeling raw and exposed at a fucking dive bar.
Before you can turn further away, Javier leans in close, gently catching your chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. His expression is nothing but tender, his dark eyes soft.
âHey, stop that,â he murmurs, his voice so gentle itâs almost a whisper. âYouâre more than enough. Trust me.â His fingers stroke softly along your jaw, lingering. âI wasnât looking for a waxed-up, camera-ready professional. I wanted something real and I found you.â
Your heart stirs at the depth in his voice. He lets out a small breath, his thumb brushing the curve of your cheek. âI know youâve got your hang-ups, and I get it. Iâve been there. Itâs⌠hard to feel like youâre enough when youâre constantly comparing yourself to people who donât even matter. But Iâm tellinâ you, baby, it shouldnât be like that with us.â
He shifts a little closer, his gaze earnest. âIâll help you feel more confident the way someone once did for me. But the difference? Iâm givinâ you everything. Not just sex, not just some half-hearted attempt. Iâm hereâall in.â
You swallow the mix of emotions heâs just poured into youâgratitude, desire, and a newfound trust that fills the spaces where your insecurities had settled.
Your eyes search his, words catching in your throat as you try to express everything youâre feeling. But instead of speaking, you reach for the hand at your face, your stare steady as you quietly murmur, âLetâs go upstairs.â
You stumble through the door, bodies pressed close as you and Javier crash into the walls of your apartment, lips never parting for more than a heartbeat.
Your hands roam each otherâs bodies, his fingers tracing down your spine, your own tugging eagerly at his shirt, popping buttons until it falls open, greedily feeling up on his warm and toned chest.
His belt follows, clinking to the floor, and as you kick off your heels, you barely register the sound of them hitting the groundâlost in the heavy rhythm of your pulse, the taste of his mouth, the roughness of his scruff.
He sinks down onto the edge of your bed, and you move to straddle him, but he catches you just in time, leaning back a bit with a smirk. âTake your dress offâŚâ he orders, his voice gravelly as his eyes travel hungrily over you, biting his lower lip.
Your heart races as you take a few steps back, antsy fingers reaching for the zipper at your side.
âSlowly,â he adds, and you slow down, teasing him as you draw the zipper down until your dress is loose against your skin.
Holding it to your chest with one hand, you turn around, letting it slip and fall in a gentle whisper to the floor, leaving you standing in just your underwear.
His satisfied hum makes you shiver, and you feel his gaze burn down your back, over the curve of your hips, your thighs.
Looking over your shoulder with a flirty smile, you catch his eye, and he grins in return.
âTurn around, baby, let me see you.â
You turn to face him, nerves quieted by the way heâs looking at youâas if heâs seeing you naked for the first time.
He lets out a soft, almost reverent groan, then extends his hands, urging you closer. You step forward, your hands finding his shoulders as you finally straddle his lap, his warmth searing through you.Â
His mouth captures yours, rough hands sliding up to cup your breasts, teasing your nipples until youâre trembling, gasping against his lips as you remember what happened the last time he toyed with you like this.
âJaviâŚâ you whisper his name, your voice barely a breath as you pull away just enough to speak, eyes meeting his. âI want you. All of you.â You lean in to kiss him again, fervent, moving to trail your lips along his jaw, nipping lightly.
âI want you to fuck me.â You say it firmly, leaving no room for doubt, wanting him to understand exactly what you need.
He groans deeply, his hands dropping to grip your ass and pull you closer. âAre you sure?â his nose brushes along your neck, his breath hot against your skin as you continue kissing along his jaw.
âYes, Javi,â you breathe out, voice thick with need, âI need you so bad.â
With practiced ease, Javier shifts you onto your back, stretching out beneath him as he hovers close, his touch claiming every inch of exposed skin. His hands trail over you, hot and lingering, and you feel like youâre melting beneath him, completely under his control.
When he finally pulls away to slip out of his remaining clothes, you see his gaze wander, fixated on something by your bedside table.
Following his line of sight, you realize heâs locked onto the purple vibrator youâd left out after using it the other night when he wasnât around, leaving you to fend for yourself.
A sly smile tugs at his lips as he reaches over, picking it up and turning it over in his hand. âThis little thing gets you off?â he teases, holding it up as though heâs sizing up the competition.
You roll your eyes, wrapping your legs around him to pull him closer, but he resists, firmly planted just out of reach.âWhen Iâm in a pinch, yes. Havenât exactly needed it much lately, thanks to you.â
A thoughtful hum escapes him as he glances between you and the toy, as if weighing his options. Then, moving back over you, he kneels between your thighs, one hand gripping your hip possessively, teasing the band of your panties, while the other holds the vibrator with a wicked gleam. âI think we could put this to good use tonight.â
The spark of excitement floods through you, making your thighs tense instinctively, hips lifting slightly in response. Javier notices, his smirk widening as he lets the band of your panties snap back against your skin, making you gasp.
His eyes darken as he watches you writhe, clearly savoring your every little movement.
âOh, yeah?â you manage to ask, your voice breathy with anticipation. âHow?â
Instead of answering, he switches the toy on, and the low, steady hum fills the room. His eyes never leave you as he drags it lightly over your pelvis, nowhere close to where you ache for him, but enough to make your breath hitch, a soft moan slipping out as you arch into his touch.
His grip on your hip tightens. âStay still,â he commands, using that sexy bedroom voice of his thatâs even more gravelly and deeper than his usual cadence.
Obediently, you settle back, watching him with bated breath. He keeps the toy hovering just above your soaked panties, tantalizingly close to where you need him most.
When he finally presses it down on your clothed pussy, just enough to tease, you let out a low, pleading whimper, your hands gripping the sheets as he works you over in slow, cruel strokes.
His stare holds yours, a silent promise that tonight, heâs going to take his time, making sure you feel every single second of it.
Your breaths come out heavy and uneven, your whole body tensing as you fight the urge to grind up against it, trying to maintain some composure while he has you pinned down beneath that slow, teasing rhythm.
Javier moves the toy in tight, deliberate circles, dragging it excruciatingly slow over your needy clit, the first setting absolute torture.
Heâs in no hurry, watching with intense focus as you tremble, his eyes tracing every twitch, every bead of arousal that weeps from your cunt, dampening the thin fabric even more.
He keeps that maddening pace, and as the vibrations ripple through you, you feel the familiar tightening in your belly, an orgasm coiling dangerously tight, ready to snap.
Your nails dig into the duvet, a strangled moan spilling from your lips. âOh, fuck, JaviâIâm⌠Iâm gonna comeââ
But just as you reach that edge, he pulls the toy away and turns it off, leaving you gasping, the sensation dissipating as quickly as it built. Your eyes snap open and you sit up slightly, desperate and hazy, locking onto him. âWhat the fuck?â
âShh,â he hushes you, though thereâs no denying the look of satisfaction on his face. Javi brushes his lips over the corner of your mouth, calming you with a soft, feather-light kiss. âJust trust me, okay? You know I always take care of you.â
You do know. This man has pulled so many orgasms right out of your body without even fucking you with his dick. That reassurance melts away your frustration from being pulled back from the precipice. You nod, swallowing hard. âOkay.â
Your lips meet in a kiss thatâs so intoxicating, tongues sliding against each other, his hand skipping down your side to the band of your panties.
Slowly, he drags the fabric down, his fingers gliding over your skin, leaving a blazing trail as they go.
When he finally discards your underwear, youâre left bare beneath him, exposed and aching, while he still wears that unbuttoned dress shirt, his slacks riding low on his hips, half undone.
Itâs annoying how good he looksâjust dressed enough to drive you wild with impatience.
He taps your knee, urging you to spread wider, his gaze fixed on you with unrestrained desire. And the way he looks at youâlike youâre all heâs ever wantedâbanishes every flicker of self-doubt, every whisper of insecurity.
You let yourself open up to him completely, your sticky, swollen pussy on full display, pulsing in anticipation, needing him more than words can say.
His eyes rake over you with reverence, dark and smoldering as he drinks in every inch of yourself that youâre offering to him, his chest rising and falling a little heavier.Â
âAlways so fuckinâ pretty,â he murmurs, pressing a slow kiss to your knee before settling back between your legs.
The vibrator flicks on again, and he traces it up your inner thighs, letting you tremble beneath his touch. You bite down hard on your lip, trying to hold back the urge to shout at him to stop playing around, to just give it to you.
Javier trails the toy along your slick lips, his gaze dark and hungry as your arousal drips out of your cunt, every inch of your body clenching with need. When he finally presses the vibrator to your clit, a shudder ripples through you, your back arching off the bed.
He groans low and deep, clearly savoring your reaction.
âJavi,â you moan, hips already grinding against the pressure as he keeps the vibrator in place, turning up the intensity to make you gasp, your body moving to meet it, demanding more.
âFeel good, baby?â he murmurs, his voice like smoke.
âUh-huh,â you manage to get out, nodding feverishly, your eyes squeezed shut as you let the pleasure wash over you, helplessly rocking against him.
But just as youâre about to tip over the edge, he pulls it away.
Over and over, he teases, edging you with that relentless, maddening rhythm, each denial more tortuous than the last.
He alternates between fucking the toy inside you, pressing it against the fleshy cleft of your clit, and peppering soft, almost loving kisses down your body: your neck, your jaw, the valley between your breasts. His tongue traces your nipple in slow circles, flicking it just enough to drive you wild, until youâre a trembling, teary mess beneath him, desperate for release.
âItâs a lot, isnât it?â he coos, stroking your cheek as he sets the vibrator to its highest setting, plunging it inside you. The wet, obscene sounds of your pussy crying around it only fuel his hunger as he watches your face.
You feel his fingers cup your jaw, firm and unyielding, his eyes blazing into yours as you cling to his touch, mascara running down your cheeks, feeling so utterly wrecked.
âPlease, Javi⌠please let me come,â you beg, your voice ragged. But he just tightens his hold, fingers digging into the skin of your cheeks, pressing the toy in deep as his thumb circles your clit, leaving you breathless.Â
âJust when you think you can let go⌠itâs snatched from you,â he whispers, ignoring your pleas, dragging you to the brink only to pull the vibrator away once again, leaving you a shaking, furious mess.
A strangled sound escapes your throat, torn between anger and need, barely feeling like yourself.
Javier chuckles, bending down to nip at your chin, his teeth grazing your skin before his tongue traces a line up your jaw. âThatâs how youâve been making me feel for months now, nena,â he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. âDriving me fuckinâ crazy. Itâs only fair that I make you feel even a fraction of it.â
âY-Youâre an asshole,â you try to retort, but your voice comes out barely above a whisper, your tone more a helpless whine than any real protest.
He grins, mocking your pout with one of his own, voice dripping with feigned sympathy. âDonât say that, baby. Youâre breakinâ my heart.â He brushes one last kiss against your lips, pulling back just as you lean into him, already aching to feel him close again, his warmth a cruel tease.
He undresses fully, and your mouth literally waters as your gaze traces the sculpted lines of his stomach, following the trail of hair that leads down to his thick, throbbing cock.
The head is swollen and red, already dripping with precome, and you canât help the moan that slips from your lips, your hips shifting instinctively, every nerve ending primed and desperate for him. Youâve been dreaming about this moment for so long, craving it with every fiber of your being.Â
You need to fuck this man.
As he climbs back over you, his hands reach to pull you closer, your legs wrapping around his waist as if they belong there, your hands clutching at the solid warmth of his shoulders.
You pull him down to you, your bare breasts pressed to the hard plane of his chest, as he balances himself with both hands planted beside your head, his eyes burning into yours.Â
âYou okay?â he asks, voice soft, and you nod, kissing the corner of his mouth before tangling your fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck.
âMhm,â you breathe, staring up at him, completely wrecked and totally ready. âIâm just ready to take you, Javi. Need it so bad.â
He groans, the heat in his eyes darkening as he adjusts his hips, hovering right there, just out of reach. âGo ahead, baby, take it. Put it in.â
His words are like gasoline to a fire, and a shiver runs through you at the sheer, visceral need in his command.
Reaching down, your fingers wrap around his length, both of you gasping as you feel the heat and hardness of him pulsing in your hand. You squeeze gently, stroking him slowly, and he hisses, rolling his hips into your grip.
You swirl your thumb over the head, spreading the bead of precome across his skin, the silky-slick texture making you dizzy with anticipation.
Drunk on him, on everything he evokes in you, you guide the head of his cock to your soaked, swollen entrance, rubbing it slowly against your aching slit.
The sensation has you trembling, but when he finally pushes forward, easing himself into you, you let out a loud, breathless whine. The stretch of him is so perfect, so utterly fulfilling that your back arches, your toes curling as your head falls back into the sheets.Â
âOh, fuckâJavier, you feel so good,â you gasp, your walls clenching around him, holding him deep as your body adjusts to every thick, pulsing inch. Itâs even better than you ever imagined.
He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his breath hot and uneven as he thrusts forward, filling you to the hilt. âNena,â he grunts, voice ragged, âIâm not gonna lastâshit.â He sounds as wrecked as you feel, his hips pressing flush against yours as he sinks in deep, your inner walls gripping him as if youâll never let him go.
âPlease,â you whimper, grinding your hips up to meet him, urging him on. He sinks his teeth into the delicate skin of your neck, sucking until heâs left a mark, his mouth hot and relentless as he peppers kisses and bites along your throat.
Heâs holding himself back, giving you a second to catch up, but every inch of you craves him.
âGive me, fuck, gimme a second,â he murmurs, his lips brushing against your collarbone. He starts to move, his thrusts slow and controlled, his mouth capturing yours in a heated kiss, your bodies locked together as he builds a rhythm, deeper and more intense with every movement.
Your fingers clutch at his shoulders, nails digging in as he grinds just right, the coarse hairs of his cock rubbing against your swollen clit, making you babble helplessly against his parted lips, your own pleasure climbing higher with each thrust. âRight there, Javi, right thereâIâm so close, pleaseâŚâ
He speeds up, his strokes hard and unrestrained, driving you to the edge. But even as he tries to keep his control, you feel him faltering, his body tensing as the pleasure becomes too much.
âFuckâputa madre, nenitaâyou feel so goodââ His voice breaks, and he gives one, two, three hard thrusts, burying himself deep as his release finally takes over, his warm, pulsing release spilling into you as he groans loudly, hips grinding as he rides out the last waves of his orgasm.
Your chest heaves with every breath, your body still humming with tension. As much as youâre flattered by his performance, youâre left tingling, unfinished, after all the edging and teasing he put you through.
âJaviâŚâ You murmur softly, your hands sliding from his tousled hair down his shoulders, the heat radiating off his skin.Â
He responds with a low grunt, still draped over you, his weight grounding you.
âJavier,â you say again, a bit more insistently this time, and he lifts his head, eyes heavy and glazed, looking at you as if youâve just broken him in the best way possible.
Youâve never seen him look this wrecked, his breath still uneven and his face flushedâall because of you. Fighting the urge to smirk, you canât help but revel in the sight of him.
Men can be sensitive about finishing quickly, but he looks nothing but smug.
âPussyâs too damn good, baby. Fuckinâ Christ,â he groans, a grin tugging at his lips, his words breathy and awed.
Now you let yourself smirk, feeling the flush of satisfaction. He nuzzles his nose against yours, murmuring, âGotta make up for that.â
You raise a brow, intrigued. And then heâs moving, slowly pulling out of you, making you hum as the absence of him sends a small flutter through your sensitive cunt, his warm, milky cum trickling out and coating your thighs.Â
With determination in his gaze, he begins his descent, his mouth trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your sternum, his breath a delicious tease against your skin until heâs nestled between your legs.
His broad shoulders press your thighs open, and then he throws them over his shoulders, eyes locked on yours, his look nothing short of ravenous.
Javi nips and kisses along your inner thighs, each bite and lick sending sparks straight to your core. When he finally reaches your swollen, aching pussy, his thumbs slide over your folds, parting them to reveal the slick mess he left behind.
Then, you feel the first swipe of his tongue, warm and slow, tasting you both. His groan is deep and low, the sound vibrating against you as he begins to devour you, licking and slurping at your mixed arousal with a hunger thatâs overwhelming.Â
You canât hold backâyouâre too wound up, too sensitive, and you grab at his hair, your fingers twisting and tugging as your release crashes through you, every wave building on all the ones denied before.Â
Youâre left gasping, body arched and taut, thighs clamping around his head as you scream his name, mindlessly babbling through the pleasure.
âJavi! Fuckâfuck, yes, oh godââÂ
He growls against you, mouth working as he drinks in every pulse, his tongue relentless as he wrings every last aftershock from your shaking body.
Itâs beyond anything youâve felt before, overwhelming and intense, leaving you utterly spent as you finally start to come down, your body melting beneath him, weak and utterly satisfied.
As he finishes devouring you between your thighs, you barely have a moment to catch your breath before heâs thrusting into you again, harder and deeper this time, with a fierce intensity that rips a loud, shameless cry from you.
Right, heâs got that pornstar stamina.
His hands grip your hips, pulling you up with him as he sits up, his brows knitted in concentration, his tongue peeking out as he watches you completely unravel around him.
âThatâs right, baby,â he growls, âGonna give me one more on my cock, show me how bad you wanted it.â
You used to roll your eyes at the exaggerated moans youâd hear on set, doubting anyone could actually be that good.
But he is that good. Beyond that good. Heâs better.
Now here you are, body trembling, head thrown back, moaning his name so loudly it might echo through the whole building. Every hard thrust feels like itâs driving into the core of you, filling you so perfectly that the room spins.Â
His grip tightens, hands splayed across your hips as he finds a rhythm that sends shocks of pleasure coursing through you. The thick drag of his cock hits every spot, and he knows just how to read every gasp, every shudder, adjusting his pace and angle to push you higher and higher.Â
He pulls your legs up, folding them against your chest, his hips angled to grind against that one perfect spot that has stars dancing across your vision. Youâre lost to him, mimicking those moans you used to scoff at, now higher and even more desperate as he laughs, deep and husky.
âGot you singinâ like a fuckinâ bird, nenita,â he teases, his laugh tapering off into a low groan. âAnd to think you didnât want this. Now look at youâall fucked out and creaminâ on my cockâ
Your bed creaks with every hard thrust, the scent of sex thick in the air, but all you can focus on is himâhis rough hands, the way he looks down at you, utterly in control.
Heâs all you can feel, all you can breathe, and as he digs his nails into the plush skin of your thighs, you know youâre on the edge, your pussy clenching tightly around him.Â
Your gaze meets his, and somehow you manage a blissful, shaky smile, a small act of defiance just before he pushes you over.
âThere she is,â he murmurs, a smirk tugging at his lips. âCome on, babyâlet me feel it.â
âJavi⌠oh my fuck, Iâm coming!â The words are a gasp, strangled and desperate, as your body locks around him, your orgasm crashing through you in waves that leave you breathless, gushing around his cock as every muscle in your body clenches tight.
It feels like youâve drifted to the heavens, like heâs drawn out every last ounce of strength from you.Â
Youâre dazed, floating, but heâs still there, whispering to you, âGood girl, thatâs it. Iâve got you,â his voice a warm balm as he slows his movements, matching the rhythm of your aftershocks, soothing you with each gentle thrust as he holds you close.
Your body shudders, tiny jolts of overstimulation sparking through you as he stays with you, coaxing you back down from the edge, until youâre nothing but a soft, sated mess in his arms.
He gently eases your legs down, pulling out of you with a slow, tender touch before settling by your side.Â
His arms wrap around you, drawing you in close as you both lie there, utterly spent, skin warm and sticky from sweat and the lingering traces of your wild fucking.
His lips press a soft kiss to your forehead, and you let out a contented sigh, burrowing into his chest. You crave the solid weight of his body, the grounding warmth of him as you slowly come back to reality.
âYouâre not real,â you mumble into his chest, your voice muffled but laced with awe. His chuckle vibrates against your cheek, a low, comforting sound that makes you smile even wider.
âIâm very real, and very yours, nena,â Javi replies, his hand drifting lazily up and down your back in gentle strokes that make you melt even further. The warmth of his words seeps into you, and your heart flutters.
You lift your head, resting your chin on his chest, and take a moment to really admire him: the deep brown of his eyes, the dark sweep of his lashes, the fullness of his mustache, and that defined jaw you love tracing your fingers along.
Your hands wander, tracing faint shapes on his shoulders, running over the hard lines of his triceps, relishing the feel of him beneath your fingers.
âI need a shower. And to change these sheets,â you murmur, glancing around at the disheveled bed.
âYeah, someone made quite the mess,â he teases, pinching your ass, which makes you yelp and swat his chest with a playful smack.
âAsshole,â you grumble, but he just laughs, leaning down to capture your lips in a kiss thatâs softer, and you melt into him all over again.
âIâll go start the shower for you, then change the sheets while youâre in there.â
âCatering to my every whim already? I just became your girlfriend,â you tease.
âYeah, and Iâm trying to keep it that way for the foreseeable future,â he says, brushing a quick, sweet kiss on the tip of your nose before slipping away from you.
You canât help the little pout that forms as he sits up, rolling his shoulders back, his muscles jolting, which makes you weak in the knees.
You watch him as he moves throughout your room then into your bathroom, your eyes trailing over every muscle, every line of his body, unable to resist biting your lip.
He really is gorgeousâso damn hotâand heâs all yours.
đˇď¸ : @almostempty . @magneticecstasy . @thundermartini . @auteurdelabre . @pepperstories . @greenwitchfromthewoods . @maiyart . @pedrohoe04 . @natalieispunk . @thewisesalmon . @bitchesuntitled . @puddles221b . @swankyorange . @bbyanarchist . @thottiewinemom . @heyhihello-4771 . @danaehldy . @sunflowerfive . @libre-sol . @harriedandharassed . @untamedheart81 . @moel-jiller . @honeyedmiller . @alexxavicry . @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff . @almodovarispunk . @southernbe . @readingiskeepingmegoing . @pedrito-is-punk7 . @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler . @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 . @lover-of-books-and-tea . @mysterious-moonstruck-musings . @dontlookatme121 . @cherrysugarx . @half-moon16 . @dinanabuu . @sunshinefive . @angiewatson .
@pasc4lfuzz . @sjc7542 . @almostfoxglove . @shy-taylorsversion . @theredvelvetbitch . @xxbadchoicexx . @lumpatto . @haylee-e . @guelyury . @doblasftcisco . @ashhlsstuff . @kluvspedro . @goodvibesonly421 . @maladptivedaydreaming .
#javier peĂąa smut#javier pena smut#pedro pascal smut#javier peĂąa fanfiction#javier peĂąa fic#javier peĂąa x reader#javier peĂąa narcos#javier pena fic#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena fanfic#javier pena narcos#javier pena x you#javier pena x reader#ppcu fandom#ppcu fanfiction#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfic
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can i request your take on enhypen and no nut november đđ
yes yes yes and YES!!! ty for this anon i had fun writing this hehe
cw! somno in hee and jay, dry humping in heeâs, hinting of oral (f!receiving) in jay and hoon, jake is a weak man, lmk if i missed anything!!
ě´íŹěš heeseung ἍáĄ
5 days
swears heâll win over the rest of the members when they propose the challenge to him. he tells you right away when he gets home because he canât risk the chance of you putting your âseducing powersâ to work (heâs really just a weak man for you), and of course you support him! youâll support your man in anything, so you put on your pajamas that cover every inch of your skin to bed. it really does work⌠for two nights. you realize heeseung becomes a bit restless at night before he actually falls asleep on the third night but you think that maybe heâs just a bit antsy for practice since theyâre learning a new choreography.
for the next two mornings, you catch heeseung slightly rubbing against your back and the swell of your ass in his sleep, and you giggle to yourself and decide to indulge him a bit until he wakes up and calls you a âdemonâ for trying to tempt him when he was the one who started it. day five comes by, and when you wake up, heâs not only just slightly rubbing against youâ heâs desperately humping and whimpering into your neck. âa-are you awake? âm sorry⌠i canât wait anymoreâŚâ he whines, the hands that are already on your waist tighten its grip. safe to say the boys teased him until the next year.
ë°ě˘
ěą jay ἍáĄ
entire month
he rolls his eyes at the mention of the challenge, he thinks itâs stupid and even tells the members that heâs not participating in it. until you bring it up to him, saying that you actually want to see how long he can last and at first he refuses but then he thinks of the possibility of you becoming desperate and begging for him to fuck you into the mattressâ âokay, fine. iâll play along,â he agrees after your restless asking. he actually finds this situation quite hilarious; youâre even trying to tempt him, dressing in his favorite outfits that he loves on you that compliments your body just right, bending down to let him get a good view of his favorite colored panties, but despite all thatâ he doesnât budge.
youâre practically pawing at his chest by november 29th, whispering dirty nothings but heâs like an unstoppable force. you whine that itâs ânot fair!!â when he still does not give in, even trying the puppy eyes and the pout but jay pays you no mind. that is, until the morning of december 1st and heâs in between your thighs, knuckle softly nudging your clit through your panties. the next thing you know, he really does fuck you into the mattress with slow and deep strokes, making you promise to never prompt this challenge to him again for the next following years.
ěŹěŹě¤ jake ἍáĄ
eight hours
he literally scoffs when the members bring up nnn. as if he would ever lose! itâs in his competitive nature, he can and will win, and he doesnât take it lightly when sunghoon teases him about how jake would totally lose on the first day. you know somethingâs off when jake comes over to yours that night after practice, he has that fierce look in his eyes that you normally only see when theyâre about to perform onstage. âyou good?â you ask, frowning with concern but jake only gives you a nod of acknowledgement before he goes off into your bedroom to sleep. he figures the best way to win this challenge was to completely ignore you because, well letâs just be honestâ he would lose within the first hour he got home.
you climb into bed with him, hand on his shoulder as you shake him gently in case he was already asleep (heâs definitely not). âjakeeee,â you drag out in a whine, knowing that heâs ignoring you now because his breathing isnât as deep if he were actually asleep. you pout when he continues to ignore you, so you decide the only way to grab his attention is to straddle him, ass meeting his crotch area and his hands immediately fly to your waist. yeah⌠he texted the groupchat with embarrassment the next morning.
ë°ěąí sunghoon ἍáĄ
one day
he thinks its sooo funny, especially seeing jake all fired up after he challenges the members to do nnn. with harmless taunts of âyou wonât even last a dayâ or âi bet twenty that jake canât go past twenty four hours!â his only goal in mind was to beat jake (because he already knew jay would be able to go for the whole month if he really wanted to, and heeseung is too unreadable). âdonât even try anything with me tonight,â sunghoon warns as he walks through the front door, catching you off guard when you jump at his sudden voice. not even a helloâ but at this point youâre used to his weird antics anyway.
âi guess weâll talk tomorrow morning,â you grumble as you climb into bed with him, his back facing you (which is very rare. heâs a big cuddler). the next morning, sunghoonâs up and early scrolling on his phone still in bed, until he gets the notification from jake; lost. dpmo hoon. a grin is appearing on the boyâs face, but he decides heâll tease jake later. for now, heâll work on making it up to you in between your thighs for hours with mumbled apologies for his attitude last night<3. he later texts in the groupchat: thx for losing so fast jake. sunghoon knows well that he wouldnât be able to last past a week with you, so heâs grateful for jakeâs weak resolve.
#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen oneshots#enhypen fanfic#sunghoon smut#jake smut#heeseung smut#jay smut#jay x reader#heeseung x reader#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader
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alone.
i wrote this in maybe a half hour and it's very short but i was very in my feels so you get angsty sol as a result before the events of family line. sol struggles. there is change on the horizon, but she doesn't see it.
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It was the same every morning, the same every day. A quick knock would wake you, a second knock a few minutes later telling you it was time to get up. Youâd throw on clothes that didnât quite fit with Spainâs climate, tie your hair up in a bun, and go downstairs.Â
Breakfast was always quiet, ever since the first few weeks, when Ingrid had tried to engage you in conversation and you rejected every attempt. Sheâd ask you a question that would remind you how little she knew about your life now. Youâd snap back at her unintentionally, sheâd get angry, and the table would fall quiet. Eventually, it just stayed quiet.Â
Youâd go to school, barely understand a word spoken to you. Scrape by with passable grades, most of the time. Go back to Ingridâs house. Do your school work at the kitchen table, where she could keep an eye on you. Hide in your room until dinner. Hide in your room after dinner. Distract yourself with a mindless show, or more often, a nature documentary of some kind. Fall asleep, dream of lakes and forests and grass and mountains; things that could never be disappointed in you.Â
You went through the motions. Step by step, day after day. Not really living, just existing. Not trying, either.Â
Youâd stop trying a long time ago. Long before Spain, before the small, bland extra bedroom you slept in. Before disappointed looks had begun to come from your sister. Youâd stopped trying when you were still in Norway, still disappointing your parents.Â
Back in Norway, you felt content being mostly invisible. Your parents ignoring you was better than being yelled at, though they still did that a fair amount.There was something about being here, though, in Spain that was just⌠different.Â
Perhaps it was that part of you, little you, who still remembered Ingrid as someone who gave the best hugs and always knew how to make you smile. Little you hadnât ever had much hope in her parents, but sheâd had hope in Ingrid. That part of you clung to the idea that Ingrid could still make everything better, like she had when you were small. No matter how hard you tried, you couldnât let go of that hope.Â
It crushed you, time and time again, when Ingrid yelled at you, or frowned at a bad grade, or sent you to your room for being a few minutes past curfew, without even letting you explain why youâd been late [thereâd been a turtle in the road on your walk from the climbing gym, and it had taken 5 minutes you didnât have to make sure it got across safely]. When sheâd sigh after another weekend passed, and you remained locked in your room. When sheâd tell you to just try harder. At speaking Spanish, at making friends, at school.Â
You didnât have anything left to give. All of your energy was spent dragging yourself out of bed. Why couldnât she see that? Growing up, it had felt like Ingrid had been the only one to see you. Now, though, she was just like everyone else. She saw what your parents saw, you decided. Someone who just wasnât worth it.Â
Ingrid had always loved you. Even when it was hard to believe that your parents did, Ingrid always told you she loved you. She hadnât said it in a while, though. You hadnât heard from your Mamma in weeks, the last text youâd gotten from your Pappa had been scolding you for spending too much money. [Youâd bought Ingrid a birthday present, but he made you return it before you could give it to her].Â
Maybe you just werenât someone who could be loved. You rolled onto your side, covering your ears to block out the sound of Ingridâs loud laughter at something Mapi had said. Tears dripped off your face, and you wished you were 7 again, burying your face in your sisterâs shoulder and knowing that as long as she had you, youâd be okay. That was back when she loved you, though. You were pretty sure she didnât anymore. How could she? When all you did was screw up, who could love someone like you?Â
You werenât 7 anymore, you were 17, and you were all alone. In a house hundreds of miles away from home, with your sister who you felt like you barely knew anymore. All alone. You were beginning to think that was all youâd ever be. Alone.Â
You didnât know a lot of things, though. You didnât know about the book shoved under Ingridâs pillow, about troubled teens. You didnât know that sheâd stand in your doorway sometimes, just watching you sleep. Enjoying that, at least while resting, you didnât frown.Â
You didnât know your Pappa picked up the phone often, but never called, feeling like heâd created a gap he wasnât sure he could ever fix. Didnât know that sometimes your Mamma slept in your bed, remembering the small child that had once smelled of syrup and brought her flowers from the garden.Â
You didnât know that Mapi stayed up late at night, duolingo open on her phone, hoping that maybe speaking a language you understood would make you feel more at home.Â
You didnât know that Ingrid loved you more than her heart could take, sometimes, and that she was just doing what she thought would work. She didnât realize you didnât need discipline, that you just needed a support system.Â
Things would improve, but you didnât know that. As you sobbed into your pillow, you were pretty sure youâd always feel like this; unloved and completely alone.Â
#woso imagine#woso x reader#engen!reader#ingrid engen x platonic reader#ingrid engen x reader#mapi leon x reader#mapi leon x platonic reader#mapi leon x ingrid engen#woso one shot#woso fanfics
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All I want to say is... Zayne's sleep schedule must be completely fucked. Like. Working both nights and days, staying long hours, probably having to go back early after being there late(if my experience watching medical dramas is anything to say about it... Plus my own experience working those types of shifts)... I bet you that man comes home so many nights, takes some melatonin and just passes the fuck out. Gets up again in the morning and takes a 5 min shower while he's still half asleep, doesn't even have coffee until he gets to the hospital and stares at the coffee machine like a zombie until it's finished dispensing his cup.
Gets home, lays down on the couch and almost instantly falls back asleep. Like we know already that this man will take naps in his office while he's at work, and we know how much he cares about his work. That's a man who is exhausted beyond belief, and powering through every day.
He so deserves to be spoiled. Breakfast brought to him in bed, left to sleep in as late as he needs to, even though he'll be upset when he wakes up and it's past noon.
I'm just imagining MC staying the night with him on one of his days off, she wakes up way, way before he does, and decides to just go off and do a bunch of little chores for him. She does his laundry, his dishes, maybe even heads out and picks up some sweets, some orange juice, makes him French toast for breakfast (even though we're way past the appropriate breakfast hour at this point) all before he even wakes up.
When he does wake up, he's very displeased to find out that he 'wasted' so much of his day, but MC just shushes him. He needed it. He really, really did. Now shut up and eat the delicious food she made for you!!
#I'm love him#i want to spoil him so much#lads zayne#zayne#zayne x reader#zayne x you#love and deepspace
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hiii, can you do something with jaemin? like a college friends to lovers?
breakfast
genre. fluff, crack đ
pairings. jaemin x gn!reader
falling asleep at your friend!jaeminâs place wasnât your intention.. yet, there you were, knocked out on the couch. you eventually woke up, disoriented and sore, while the smell of burnt toast polluted the air. on the other side of the open room, jaemin stood behind the kitchen counter, preoccupied with scraping char off the bread slices. he perked his head up once he heard you rustling around. âoh. youâre up.â
âwhat time is it?â you yawned, reaching for your phone, only to find it cold and dead.
âitâs like 10 or somethingââ his tone was casual, and it threw you off.
âjaemin!â you jumped to your feet. âi had a class at 9!â you continued, âi told you to wake me up if i ever fell asleep here again!â you ran to the bathroom, looking for the toothbrush jaemin got you last time.
his expression became one of shame, like a child being scolded by his mother. âi know, but you just looked so peacefulâŚâ
this isnât the first time this has happened. more often than not, jaemin invites you to hang out after class.. so you usually find yourself leaving with him to walk to his apartment⌠you just canât get enough of him.
once you get there, you hope for a productive afternoon, maybe crank out some assignments. but instead, you end up talking to him all night. youâll eventually glance at the ungodly hour on the clock, and think, "just 5 more minutes. i'll get going in 5 minutes." 5 minutes turns into 5 hours... and next thing you know, the sun is up, you've slept through all your alarms, and you're grabbing your things to rush out.
âi need to go home-â you pat your hands around the couch, looking for your purse, tossing around the blankets and pillows jaemin put on you while you were asleep.
âwait.â he interjected. âwhenâs your next class?â
âat 1⌠but i still have to go home and get dressed...â you sighed, slumping onto the stool at the kitchen island.
âyou still have plenty of time to eat breakfast...â jaemin said, nudging over a plate of toast that was grilled passed the point of no return.
âjaeminâŚâ you laughed. âim not eating that.â you eyed the dish, and a chill went down your spine. âiâll just have some cereal.â you helped yourself to his cabinets in a search for a more edible alternative.
sitting across from jaemin at the table, you crunched on your cereal while he picked at his burnt toast⌠his pride wouldnât let him throw it out. âso do you wanna come over again later?â he waited for you to chew your food before you replied.
âjaemin, be for real.â you set down your spoon. âi canât keep coming over on weekdays. i lose track of time and fall asleep.. i canât keep doing that.â
âwhy not?â he said, mouth full. âwhy canât you fall asleep here?â
âi donât have my stuff here! no skincare, no clothesâŚâ you counted a finger for each point you listed. âand by the time i wake up, im late, and i still have to go home and get ready...â
âwell then.. why not just bring stuff to stay the night.â he cleared his throat. âpack your clothes and skincare and whatever⌠plus, you already have a toothbrush here.â
âdo you want me to stay or something?â you took a sip of juice, eyes peeking over the cup.
âi just like having you around...â he picked at the toast some more, but had yet to actually taste it.
you thought for a moment. âyeah sure.â you shrugged, ignoring the way he just made your heart flutter.
âwait really?â he looked up from his plate.
âi mean⌠i guess itâs not a problem as long as i bring stuff to stay.â you said, getting up from your seat to go wash your bowl in the sink. jaemin followed right behind you and draped his arms over your shoulders, pulling your back into his chest. âthen can you bring stuff to stay longer than 1 night?â
jaemin has always been a pretty affectionate friend, so you didnât think much of the hug⌠âmaybe i could stay until the weekend..â
âjust until the weekend?â he squeezed you a little tighter.
but was he always this clingy?
âna jaemin, when did you get so clingy?â
âwell these days, iâŚâ he stopped himself.
âthese days, you...?â you hummed, tugging on his arms that were still embracing you, urging for him to finish his sentence. you began swaying side to side ever so slightly. âletâs just stay like this for a minute.â he cooed, catching on to your rhythm, rocking in the silence. he really gave the best hugs. after a moment, he disrupted the stillness of the room. âmove in with me.â
hearing him say that so bluntly made your heart drop. flustered, you turned around to face him, his arms now resting on your back. âall of a sudden?â you laughed.
âmm.â he nodded his head to agree, looking at you so endearingly. he gradually inched his face closer to yours, and you didnât mind.
âjaemin.â
âyeah?â he answered, just inches away.
âare you trying to kiss me right now?â you teased, as your gaze wandered from his eyes to his lips.
âare you gonna let me?â he teased back. you couldnât hold back your smile, and he basically took that as confirmation.
he didnât have to lean in much further before his lips were touching yours. your eyes fluttered as his hands gently met your cheeks, even tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
âwhat are we doing?â you whispered in between breaths.
âjust enjoy it.â he reassured you.
and for some reason, his words really put you at ease. in that moment, you couldnât help but enjoy it. you reconnected your lips, and let yourself fall more in love with your best friend than you already were.
his smile forced him out of the kiss. âso does this mean we can have breakfast together every morning?â
you scoffed at his remark. âmaybe if you learn how to cook firstâŚâ
@lovesuhng thanks so much for the request!!!! such a cute idea. hope you like it!!! (reqs always open)
#markiemelon#nct blurbs#nct drabbles#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct soft blurbs#nct fluff#nct soft hours#nct timestamps#nct dream#nct dream timestamps#nct dream soft hours#nct dream blurbs#nct dream drabbles#nct dream fluff#nct dream imagines#jaemin soft hours#jaemin fluff#na jaemin#nct x gender neutral reader#jaemin imagines#jaemin blurbs#jaemin drabbles#jaemin scenarios#jaemin#nct#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#jaemin x reader#na jaemin x reader
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A Dichotomy of Thought || 5
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Further Parts
Johnny recovers slowly.
-
Fifteen minutes? Simon messages you. A flare going up in the darkness, an SOS signal even if you donât know the accuracy of the analogy. But he doesnât hear back from you that day. Maybe what little luck he had left that wasnât bad luck has run out. Maybe you realized that you had no real reason to be guilty, that Soap had stepped out in front of your car on purpose. You didnât owe them anything.Â
Simon wishes he could swallow that flare back up, eat it whole, let it burn him alive, but he canât. Johnny needs him.Â
Ever since the seizure, itâs been one bad pain day after another. The seizure itself was rough on his body, but so was how hard Soap fought afterwards, dealing himself damage that he didnât even have the processing yet to tally up.Â
Like clockwork heâs requiring those little green pills, choking them down on empty stomachs. Simon even has to break out whatâs left of the sublingual morphine which they hadnât used since Johnny first came home from inpatient rehabilitation. Only then will Johnny manage to fall into fitful sleeps wracked with nightmares and phantom pains from his missing arm. He cancels all therapy that week, hoping Johnny will return to his baseline soon. Hoping for the days he used to wish away.Â
Itâs hell on earth. Simon lays in bed beside him, ready to wake him from another nightmare, going on three days without sleep and he wishes that he had been the one in the helicopter instead. Wishes that it had killed him, since he canât ever wish death on Johnny. Not ever. Not even when his boy begs for it.Â
His phone buzzes, and itâs you: Iâm free in twenty. Still need me?
Badly. Simon canât remember the last time he showered. All he wants is fifteen minutes to scrub himself clean and feel human again. All he says though is: Yeah.
You appear just past twenty minutes later wearing a diner uniform. Itâs cute: tight pants that hug your thighs and hips, a white button-down blouse tucked in, demarcation where your name tag used to rest.
Simon opens the door and ushers you in, somber-faced, like a pallbearer at a funeral. He goes to the bedroom door and glances in to make sure Johnny is outâthere should be no waking him for the next two hours, but if there is one thing Simon has learned, itâs that God Laughs.Â
âHe asleep?â you whisper, lingering a healthy distance away.Â
âOut like a light. I just need fifteen minutes in the shower.â
âIâll watch him,â you whisper. Then you add: âI looked it up, by the way. What a seizure looks like. Just in case.â
Simonâs stomach drops between his knees. It takes him several heartbeats to realize that he isnât nauseous out of any fear response, but out of sheer fucking gratitude. The feeling cuts through the fog in his mind like a knife through butter, and he feels like he sees you for the first time: your hair back away from your face, your healing bruises (and the new one on your chin), the embarrassed desperation in your eyes. Youâve latched on to Johnny too, he can tell, likely by some misguided guilt from almost hitting him with your car. But itâs there. He has a feeling that if Johnny were to take a dive off the balcony, heâd be taking you with him.Â
You are completely unhinged. Borderline mad, even. Exactly what Johnny needs to keep him alive.Â
âFifteen minutes,â says Simon again before slipping into the bathroom, clean clothes tucked under his arm. When he resurfaces, only 11 minutes have passed. The military taught him everything he could need to know about thorough but expeditious showers.Â
You are sitting at the dining table, having chosen the seat that gives you the best vantage point of Johnnyâs sleeping figure in the next room through the doorway. Simon expected to find you on your phone, scrolling away, but it is nowhere in sight. You have sat perfectly still, watching Johnny. It would almost be eerie if he didnât appreciate it so goddamn much.Â
âWe need to talk about this arrangement,â you say, clasping your hands together. Youâre shaking.Â
âYou want out.âÂ
âWhat? No!â You both glance toward the bedroom, but Johnny snores on, in the throes of morphine-fueled dreams. When you speak again, it is quieter: âI donât mind helping, but I can only check my phone at certain times of the day.â
This is the part where Simon asks why. But the question sticks to the back of his tongue like something unsavory. A more important question: can he afford to care why beyond what it means for him and for Johnny? The bottom line is that there will be long stretches of time where youâre unavailable. He can live with that. Heâs been living with it, hasnât he?Â
âIâll only ever need you when heâs asleep. If he knew I was letting you watch over him, heâd blow his top. I mean that literally.â Simon stands. âYou want tea?â
âTea?â You blink at him like the word does not compute. âYes, please. Thank you, I mean.âÂ
âJust tea, donât get worked up over it,â he mutters, going to put the kettle on. He needs a minute to fucking think.Â
This goes against everything he was ever taught. The foundation of his personality is self-reliance, and it has been since he was a boy, since he learned that he couldnât rely on adults for anything resembling stability. Asking for help feels like tossing up the white flag, like admitting heâs in too deep and he canât take it anymore. It feels like failing Johnny.Â
But thereâs construction going on inside him. Those pillars of his personality are being torn down, and in their place something more important is being formed: a shrine to the only person whoâs ever loved him that wasnât his mother. If itâs good for Johnny, Simon must do it, even if it feels strange, even if it goes against all the strategies that have kept him alive in the past.Â
When he brings tea back to the table, you try to drink it right away, scalding your tongue.Â
âSlow,â Simon says. He didnât even get the chance to offer you any milk or sugar.Â
Face warm as the tea, you drink slower, tongue likely numb. The silence between you grows, adds up, and he catches you more than once looking toward the digital clock inlaid on the stove, like you are nervous and counting down the moments until you can escape. Like Simon frightens you. Fifteen minutes pass and more. You drain your cup.Â
âI should go,â you say at length.
âAlright.â
âThank you for the tea.âÂ
âDonât thank me.â
You just nod and slip out of the apartment, quietly shutting the door behind you. Simon sits there for a long time after youâre gone, thinking over the arrangement. Thinking over you.Â
Youâre in trouble. He just canât decide if he can afford to take on any more trouble right now.Â
His tea has cooled by the time Johnny stirs in the other room, calling out for more pills.Â
-
It does get easier. Tooth and nail they fight for every peaceful moment until they are able to string two of those moments together, and then two becomes three. Johnny is back to his old selfâoften angry, still pained, but with glimmers of the man Simon used to know shining beneath it all like diamonds under dirt.Â
Therapy starts again, and so do Johnnyâs tasks.Â
The tasks arenât therapy. Theyâre Johnnyâs idea: each few days he picks a task that he used to be able to do before the accident and commits himself to relearning it.Â
Today that tasks is unlocking the front door. He stands with his forehead against the oak, knowing Simon is somewhere on the other side, having heard him turn the deadbolt.Â
The door has three locks. There is the handle which is the only one the apartment building originally supplied them with. There is the sliding lock, which Simon had installed on day two in the new apartment. It is only ever locked at night when both of them are home, and it is easy enough for Johnny to guide the wide end into the slot. Then there is the deadbolt, also installed by Simon, and easily the trickiest lock of all. Usually it requires the strength of two hands to unlock comfortablyâbut Soapâs down a hand and short on patience.Â
âJesus, get me in this apartment. Amen,â he mutters.
The key shakes in his hand as he guides it to the lock. It takes some fumbling, but he gets it after just a few moments. Then he must twist while pulling outward at the same time. It uses muscles in his arms that have grown weak with disuse. The key catches for a moment but then slides out of the lock uselessly. He pulled too hard; he did not twist hard enough.Â
Itâs a delicate balance, one he had perfected without even trying months ago when they moved in. Now it seems like a cruel and unusual punishment. If he canât get this fucking door open, heâll sleep out here, undeserving of his own bed. In his mind, the voice of encouragement does not sound so much like the calm soothing tones of Andyâhis physical rehabilitation therapistâbut instead the borderline abusive dialect of his superiors during his time in the military, the ones who had only ever cared about results and not much about the bodies getting those results.Â
Footsteps come from the open elevator, and Johnny casts an irritated glance only to see that it is you. You are dressed for exercise, clingy clothes with running shoes and a baggy top thrown on over everything, drooping off of one of your shoulders. At the sight of you, Johnny remembers the lengths you went to to help him light his cigarette and his heart throbs with fondness, some of his anger evaporating like fog burnt off by the morning sun.Â
âAfternoon, lass.âÂ
âHi, Johnny,â you murmur, voice near a whisper as you cast a glance toward your own door. Maybe you are thinking about running from him. âAre you having trouble?âÂ
Johnnyâs good mood dissipates. âNo,â he lies. âYes. I donât fucking know.âÂ
âCan I help?â
âNo,â he snaps. âI have to do this myself.â
âWhereâs Simon?âÂ
âInside.âÂ
âHeâs locked you out?â
âAye.âÂ
Your face changes. He knows you so little that it takes a moment for him to identify the expression for what it is: apoplectic rage. Your hands have clenched into fists at your sides, brows drawn low over your eyes as you glare a hole through the door. You reach out and take Johnnyâs hand. Heâs so fucking surprised that he drops the damn key.Â
âJohnny,â you say. âYou can tell me. Are you in trouble?â
âWhat sort oâ trouble?âÂ
âSimon. Is he good to you?âÂ
âBastard eats my cereal and leaves the empty box behind, but aye, heâs good to me. Better than good. Whatâs all this about, hen? Simon locking me out? I only asked him to, thatâs allâletâs me practice with the key, so I can open it on my own again,â says Johnny, stroking his thumb along your knuckles.Â
You let go of him like youâve been burned, face mortified. âOh, God. Iâm sorry Johnny. I misunderstood. Let me justââ
You bend down and retrieve the key, handing it to him. You can barely look him in the eye as you mumble a goodbye and rush past him into your own apartment, shutting the door solidly behind you.Â
Johnny stares after you for a long moment, key held limply in his hand, mind far from the door. At last, he puts the key back into the lock.Â
Twist, pull.Â
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SLEEPY - WILL SMITH
summary: will comes home from work to a very sleepy y/n passed out on the couch
â
within the last few days, your fatigue has been severe. youâve fallen asleep hours before you usually do, and getting up in the mornings has become increasingly more challenging. this is a telltale sign that youâre getting sick.
will, your boyfriend of two years, has a game against calgary tonight. unfortunately, youâre far too ill to actually attend the game. of course, it broke your heart to tell your boyfriend that you wouldnât be able to make it, but he was more than okay with you getting your rest rather than watching him chase a rubber puck for three hours.
youâre currently sat on the couch of your guysâ shared apartment while the game illuminates the dimly lit room. your eyelids become heavier as every line change occurs, but it eventually becomes too unbearable to fight. as you fall asleep, youâre cuddled into the fluffy blanket, along with being swallowed by wills boston college hoodie. youâre so knocked out, that you end up missing macklins goal during the second period, followed by everything else that happened after it.
will opens the door expecting you to be wide awake, but quickly slows his movements when he sees you sprawled out on the couch engulfed in his hoodie and a blanket. he chuckles to himself softly as he puts his hockey bag down by the door, careful not to wake you. he walks over to the couch and sits down next to you, gently moving hair out of your face.
âbaby?â he quietly asks.
you stir awake and rub your eyes softly, stretching your limbs with a loud groan as you sit up. âoh, will? what time is it? i thought you should be-â you quickly come to the realization that you had fallen asleep. âoh,â you say.
will chuckles with a grin, âyeah, you fell asleep.â
âiâm so sorryâŚâ you mutter, fixing your hair and adjusting his hoodie.
âyouâre sorry? what are you apologizing for, y/n?â will asks, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
âmissing your game. i feel awful! itâs enough that i didnât even physically go, and then i still end up missing the entire thing!â
ây/n, please donât apologize. honestly, you missed nothing. it was an embarrassing loss anyways.â will says, and you can hear the pain in his voice.
âoh baby iâm so sorry.â you sigh, wrapping him in a hug. he chuckles, the vibration of his laughter against your body makes you smile. despite being half asleep, he still never fails to make you happy.
âare you feeling any better?â your concerned boyfriend asks.
âiâm just still tired, iâm sure iâll wake up sick tomorrowâ you laugh, which makes him pout.
ây/n, you should really get to bed babyâŚâ he says, making you sigh. you know heâs right, but you also wanna stay up and talk to him⌠but he knows you too well and immediately stops this thought. ây/n, we can talk in bed. cmon, iâll carry you.â
he swoops you up bridal style, letting the blanket fall beneath his feet as he walks you to the bedroom. he gently places you down on the bed and plants a kiss on the crown of your head. âiâm gonna shower really quickly, but donât stay up. go to bed, itâs okay.â you nod, but you both know youâre gonna force yourself to stay awake until he comes back. and thatâs exactly what you do.
will exits the bathroom about ten minutes later and shuts off the light, crawling into bed with you. you immediately snuggle into him as his arm wraps around you, the smell of his body wash filling your senses. âhow badly did you guys lose?â you ask softly.
â3-1, mack got the only goalâ he replies. you smile at the thought that will and mack mustâve been so happy about it.
âtell him i say congrats, but maybe leave out the part where i fell asleep,â you joke, making will laugh. you two talk for another 5 minutes or so before you drift off into sleep again, leaving will with a smile on his face and a sleepy girlfriend on his arm.
#will smith hockey#will smith imagine#will smith x reader#william smith#nhl hockey#nhl players#nhl#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#san jose sharks#macklin celebrini#imagine#fanfic#nhl fic#nhl x reader#hockey#hockey fic#hockey oneshot#hockey imagine
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Very long semi detailed diapered fantasy that no one asked for:
I want someone to diaper me for a long road trip cause they donât want to have to stop all the time so I can tinkle. I would argue that I could hold it if I needed to but they brought up all the accidents Iâve been having recently đŤŁ. After that I would accept being diapered (but I totally wonât need them I swear). I would feel it not even 5 minutes away from the house but thereâs no way I could convince them to turn back so I can pee in the potty like a big girl. I would just decide to wait it out. Maybe theyâd need to pee soon and weâd stop at a rest stop. 2 hours in and I wouldnât be able to stop squirming. I would have leaked at least once and when I leak it almost always leads to an accident. I would have to clutch at my crotch and squirm nonstop to try and hold it back. They would look over and smile at me struggling. âYou could always just go peepee, sweetheartâ. Hearing that would make me leak again, which would turn into a dribble and before I could stop it I would be pissing full force in my diaper.
At the next rest stop (only 2 minutes away đŁ) they would bring me to the bathroom, and sit me on the toilet after removing my soaking diaper and tell me to let go. Hardly anything would come out, I just emptied my bladder 2 minutes ago. So they would tell me to get up, and put me into another diaper. Satisfied, they would then use the toilet like a grown up, and we would be back on our way.
Another hour and I would be back to desperate, this time with a weaker bladder from having just had an accident. It would take far less time for me to burst this time, in fact it might only take a comforting hand over my diaper and telling me itâs ok to go peepee in my diaper đł. After wetting another diaper they would remind me that if I have a third accident in a row I would be back to being padded 24/7. Another 15 minutes and we would arrive at our destination.
We would grab our stuff from the car, head inside and make ourselves a snack. After eating I would ask if I could maybe wear big girl panties for the rest of the day since the potty was so close, but they would say I should stick to pull-ups in case I got distracted and couldnât make it in time.
I would begrudgingly agree (I did just have 2 back to back accidents) and head upstairs to read. Reading in bed would be so comfy I just wouldnât be able to help myself falling asleep all warm and cozy. When they wake me up for dinner I would smile sleepily before freezing, realizing that my pull-up is soaked. I was too sleepy after the long drive and my bladder was too tired so I peed my pull-up in bed đł.
They would of course be kind about it, gently pulling the soaked pull-up down my legs, trying not to make a puddle while moving my drippy pull-up. They would comfort me while putting me in a nice fluffy diaper and take me downstairs for dinner đ
#ab/dl diaper#potty pants#pee accident#desperation wetting#diaper pee#omutsu#bed wetter#diaper sub#ab dl diaper#diaper regression
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his favorite patient (simon riley x f!reader)
part 5 of the two lieutenants series...toothrotting fluff
--
"where is she?"
ghost thundered into the base hospital, all teeth and claws. the hospital staff scattered in his wake, avoiding eye contact. finally, a doctor approached, looking down at her clipboard nervously. "who are you looking for, sir?" he tried not to antagonize medical staff, but someone needed to get it together. "the lieutenant." he spit out. "right this way, sir."
the doctor pushed through the door to your hospital room, the sterile breeze drifting through ghost's mask. the doctor moved out of the way so he finally could view you.
you, who had taken two bullets to your left arm and yet still managed to complete the mission. had dragged gaz out with you, who was recovering in the room next to you. you were asleep, brows furrowed even in your sleep. he drowned out the words of the doctor, opting instead to move closer to your bed. "she's alrigh'?" ghost mumured, almost to himself. "she'll need some PT to regain range of motion, but she'll be okay, sir. she's just taking some much needed rest." he nodded his thanks, and the doctor made her way out, smiling to herself as she closed the door.
ghost took off his balaclava, setting it on the table behind him. he took a seat on your bed, dwarfing the small bed with his frame. he smoothed out the furrow between your brows, his gloves long forgotten back on base, abandoned the moment he heard you were in the hospital. "s'pposed to be end game, yeah? can't get shot on me now." his thumb traced the slope of your nose, trailing to your lips, down to your jaw. "my brave dove." his thumb traveled to your collarbone, brushing back and forth. he lost sense of time, entranced in the feel of your skin, the softness against his battle worn skin. almost half an hour had passed until...
"simon?" you croaked out, throat parched. "yeah, baby? feel ok?" he was so enamored with you, all doe eyes staring back at him. ghost was gone, the bloody work done, and simon was here to stay. you nodded slowly, still recovering from the events of the past days. "thirsty." he was up immediately, looking for water. he found a water cup a nurse had dropped off earlier, so deep in his trance he hadn't seen her come in and out. "go'on." he offered you the straw and you sipped, trying to go slow. he watched your throat move up and down with every sip. "better?" you hummed your appreciation. "you don't have any recruits to bother?" he gave you a sideways grin, one of his rarities. "you're more important."
you're more important. simon was here, sitting vigil at your bedside. he shirked his duties just for you. "why are you here, si?" he clicked his teeth, breaking eye contact for the first time he'd been in the room. simon stared at the clock, stared out the window. "ya don't get it, do ya?" he turned back to stare at you. you shook your head, brows furrowing again. his thumb jumped out and smoothed it before even realizing. "i haven't taken you out on that date yet, but y'r it for me. i'm y'r lieutenant, yeah?" you reached your uninjured hand towards him and he leaned in, letting you cup his face. "its all or nothing for you, isn't it?" he nodded. "hav' to be in our line of work." you gave him a small smile. "what is this, a proposal, riley?" you brushed his thumb over his lips. "let me know when your left hand is healed for a ring, baby." you laughed and it was the sweetest sound in the world to him. "my answer is yes. and a maybe to the proposal. you're on a trial period." he nodded again, nuzzling into your hand. "jus' let me take care of you, yeah?" you nodded, falling back into your hospital bed. "now i can sleep." he kissed your forehead, and all was right in the world again.
--
ugh i want a boyfriend
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#cod 141#ghost call of duty#tornadothoughts#fluff#cod ghost#simon ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x reader#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley#two lieutenantsđŞď¸
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