#and then making more outlandish claims like we can’t see that his entire blog before that was swiftie stanning

[starlooove]

Do y’all think ur slick when u say some racist ass shit and then immediately start making outlandish remarks or content so you can claim the racism was satire? Like I need y’all to know that we recognize it when y’all do that.

[artzychic27]

Heart Thief

Before arriving at Dupont, Marc went to Vadim Bastille Collège and lived the life of those high school princesses you see in teen movies (Minus all of the drama, backstabbing, and the occasional bursting into song). He was liked by everyone including the teachers, he was president of the writing, fanfiction, and GSA club, had an amazing group of friends, and best of all, an amazing boyfriend.

Lucien Rebois was the most sought after boy at school. Tall, tan, captain of the fútbol team and took every team he was on to victory, super popular, charming, and the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. What more could a person want in a boyfriend? Girls would always try to ask him out, but he turned every single one of them down, even the most popular girls at school. Everyone wondered why until the day of the championship game when everything came to light

Marc and his friends cheered their school’s team on as they made the winning goal. While the crowd was still in a frenzy, Lucien grabbed a microphone and quieted everyone down when he said that he had to make an announcement…

“… Gimme an ‘M’!”, he shouted into the mic, forming an M with his arms. The crowd complied and mirrored him, while Marc and his friends just looked at each other in confusion

“M!”

“Gimme an ‘A’!”

“A!”

“Gimme an ‘R’!”

“R!”

Mehdi, a Cuban boy with brown hair dyed pink, and Vice President of the GSA squealed when he realized what Lucien was spelling, “He’s gonna say C!”. Syd, a a Vietnamese student nodded in agreement

Marc sputtered, “W-what?! No! He’s not!”

“Wait for it, Mar-Mar.”, Madelyn, a stocky Creole girl with a half-shaved head told him

“Gimme a ‘C’!”

“C!”

She smirked, “I knew it!”

“What does that spell?!”, Lucien asked as he pointed to the crowd. From where he stood, Marc blushed when he realized that Lucien had spelled his name

“Marc!”, the students shouted, a few looked at Marc grinning. He was sure this had to be a prank.

“Come on! Lemme hear you!”, he encouraged

“MARC!”, The students shouted again. Even a few teachers joined in. Lucien’s eyes never left the green-eyed boy, neither did the smile on his face as he spoke to him like they were the only people on the field

“I love you, Marc Anciel. Did I mention that?”, Marc smiles when he realized that the most popular boy in school was being sincere, and he truly felt this way about him. On the field, Marc could hear a few of the cheerleaders screaming with envy, knowing Lucien was gay and off the market. They ran away in tears

Lucien pointed towards the band, “Gimme a beat!”

“Un, deus, trois, quatre!”

Marc couldn’t believe this was happening. It was like something out of a fairytale. He looked around to see if this was real, and it was. When Lucien sang a love song about how he would give everything up for just one kiss, when he threw his jersey into the crowd, and Marc caught it, when he crowd-surfed over to him, and when he asked him to the dance… It was all real...

—

They were the cutest couple at school. They went on amazing dates, and went as a couple to every school event. Lucien even tried to switch classes so he could be closer to Marc, which the writer and other students found so sweet. Lucien has to be the best boyfriend ever. Generous, considerate, loyal, protective…

...A little too protective, though. Dating Lucien meant having the fútbol team on your side. When he heard about some homophobic student messing with Marc, Lucien sent the entire team to “take care of him”. No one’s seen that student in a while.

Lucien was also kind of clingy. Marc can’t remember the last time he’s hung out with his friends; he was always going on at least twenty dates with Lucien. Then one day, the students gave Marc a new nickname, ‘Lucien’s pet’, after he was given a red choker necklace with a silver heart dangling on a small chain, and on the heart was ‘L.R.’ He would always treat Marc like his property, but did it in a slow subtly way: Having his hands on Marc at all times, slowly separating him from his friends, then at one point, trying to dictate what he wore.

Madelyn was finally able to get some alone time with Marc and told him all about toxic relationships. And those examples sounded exactly like the situation he was in right now.

With some encouragement from his friends, Marc was finally found the courage to break up with Lucien after eight long months, and everything was back to normal. Marc didn’t have someone constantly following him around and keeping him away from his friends or threatening innocent students. Even when Lucien tried to get him back, he stood strong and didn’t give in. He almost did when Lucien swore he would be better, but when Marc caught him threatening the exchange student from Hong Kong who he thought had a crush on Marc, he had enough.

After explaining everything to his moms, they decided that it would be best if Marc switched schools to avoid Lucien. He was hesitant at first, knowing that he would have to leave all of his friends behind, but it was worth it to not have to deal with Lucien anymore. So, he said his goodbyes, made the Vice Presidents of the clubs the new presidents, and left, ready to start a new life at a new school

Lucien wouldn’t give up, though. He vowed that he would find Marc, and make him his again by any means necessary.

—

“Class, we have a new student!”, Mme. Bustier announced in her usual cheerful tone. A few of the students rolled their eyes and groaned at the mention of a new student, worried this one may be like Lila, “Please meet Lucien Rebois.”

Kim and Alix perked up at the mention of the name and nearly fell out of their seats when the athlete walked into the room. The other students, while not huge fans like Kim and Alix, gasped when they saw him

“Hi, nice to meet you all.”, he greeted with a smile

“Dude! You’re a legend!”, Kim shouted, “My cousin took me to every game you played, you are awesome!”

Lucien tried not to blush at the praise, “Well, I guess I was okay.”

“Okay?!”, Alix exclaimed, “You gotta join our fútbol team, we suck!”

“Alix!”, Bustier reprimanded and Lucien chuckled, “That’s quite enough.”

“I’ll think about it.”, he looked around, “So, where do I sit?”

Mme. Bustier pointed up the stairs, “Right next to Nathaniel.”, said boy waved so Lucien could see him. He walked up the stairs, paying no mind to the many admiring looks he was receiving, and sat down next to the redhead. The two sent each other polite smiles and focused on Bustier’s lecture

—

While doing classwork, Nathaniel’s eyes wandered to the bracelet wrapped around Lucien’s wrist. It was red, made of leather, and had a silver heart. It didn’t seem weird at first until he saw his seat mate’s initials on the heart. ‘Wonder who gave that to him.’, he thought, then went back to his classwork, only to be disrupted by the sound of the bell

“Okay, everyone, I’ll see you all after lunch.”, Mme. Bustier said as the students walked out of the classroom

While packing his messenger bag, Nathaniel dropped a draft of the Ladybug comic and went to pick it up, but Lucien beat him to it and looked at it in awe, “Dude, you make the Ladybug comics? I love these!”, he grinned

Nathaniel smiles at the compliment, “Thanks. I-I don’t make the whole comic though-“ He was cut off by Alix, running up the stairs and wrapping an arm around him, “He draws, and his partner writes.”

“Alix.”, he groaned, to which the pink-haired girl replied with a grin

“Partner as is significant other?”, Lucien asked when he realized what Alix meant. When he saw Nathaniel looking away in embarrassment and with what looked like fear, he eased his worries by saying, “Don’t worry, man, I’m like, super gay.”

Nathaniel smiled, relief taking over. Alix’s smile widened when she heard those words and she immediately wrapped her other arm around Lucien, “I love this boy!”

And the three of them left the classroom

—

Later at lunch, Lucien has drawn in a crowd as he talked a little about himself. Even Marinette joined in when she realized this new student was nothing like Lila and didn’t go on and on bragging about himself, or claiming he did something outlandish that could be proven false with a quick and easy Google search

“Well, I‘ve been captain of the fútbol team since middle school, and I’ll be honest, I was not ready to lead a whole team.”

Marinette whispered to Alya, “I like how modest he is.”, the Creole girl nodded in agreement

“Yeah, not like she who will not be named.”, Alya said with a roll of her eyes, then asked, “So Lucien, I hope you don’t mind going off-topic, but what do you think of Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

“They’re amazing!”, he exclaimed, “I mean, I’ve never seen them in person, only on the Ladyblog live-streams. My school was a little far from the action.”, he explained while Alya beamed at the mention of her blog, “Now, what’s this I’ve heard about ‘Ladybug’s best friend?’”

The students groaned. Marinette said, “We don’t talk about her.”

“Alright, enough about Rossi,” Nino bitterly said, then pointed to the bracelet resting on his wrist, “sweet band, man! Where’d you find that?”, the others admired the bracelet and repeated Nino’s question

Nathaniel noticed him blushing at the mention of it, “Well… It was my ex’s.” He raised an eyebrow, ‘His ex’s? Then why does it have his initials?’, he thought to himself then continued to listen

“Yeah, I gave him this after we dated for three months.”, he explained, “I, um… I’m not entirely over him yet.”, he admitted, making the girls and some boys awe, “Then he switched schools, and I haven’t really been the same.”

“That’s why you were playing sloppy at your games!”, Kim exclaimed, “Man, that must’ve been rough. If Ondine broke up with me, I’d probably be drowning in the pool.”, everyone laughed. Nathaniel then looked up and saw Marc walking in the cafeteria with Mireille. He smiled at how content and happy he looked, but then that feeling turned to concern when he saw him running away the minute he walked in

Nathaniel, wanting to make sure Marc was okay, excused himself, then ran after him. He heard footsteps, whirled around, and saw Mireille running towards him, “Is Marc okay?”, she asked, only to have Nathaniel respond with a shrug, “I don’t know. Help me look for him.”

“Damn long legs.”, Mireille cursed under her breath

--

“Anciel!”

Marc whipped around from the bathroom mirror and came face-to-face... Well, more like chest-to-face with Ismael Prisk, the school’s foreign exchange students from Pakistan, Marc’s classmate, and what some of the anime-fanatic students call a ‘tsundere’.

Marc sighed, “Ismael, I’m not in the mood.”

“Fight with your boyfriend?”, he asked in a snarky tone, making Marc roll his eyes at the boy’s usual behavior

“No! I-I just...”

Ismael continued to pry, “Because you always spend lunch with him, considering the fact that you two have no classes together, so I’m just naturally curious as to why you’d rather hide in the bathroom than use that precious hour to make out with him.”

‘Yeah right.’, Marc thought, “It has nothing to do with Nathaniel.”

The short brunette smirked, “Well, then I guess you won’t mind if I go fetch him, now would you?”, he heads for the door, only to be stopped when Marc grabs his wrist

“Don’t do that!”, he begged

“I won’t say anything if you tell me why you’re acting like a freak.”. he retorted while snatching his wrist out of Marc’s grasp

“... Okay...”, seeing Ismael backing towards the door, he quickly said, “It’s Lucien, okay?!”

“The new guy?”, Marc nodded, “Tall guy, captain of some team?”, he asked, and Marc nodded again, “So what?”

“... He’s my ex.”, Ismael made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, “And, I just don’t feel like running into him.”

“So you’re the guy who made him lose those games.”, Ismael taunted

“It wasn’t my fault!”, Marc exclaimed. Ismael flinched at his outburst, “I had to break up with him! He was just... I couldn’t take it! He was sweet at first, but he started treating me like I was his property or something! He even had me wear a choker with his initials on it!”

The stoic look on Ismael’s face became softer as he listened to Marc about Lucien

“He even threatened some of my friends, o-or anyone who talked to me because he thought they were flirting with me.”, a tear streamed down his face, “One guy even went to the hospital.”

Ismael asked, “Did you tell anyone?”

“I tried to go to the principal, but he said without any proof, there wasn’t anything that could’ve be done.”, he explained, “And Lucien always thought ahead. He did his threatening in rooms that didn’t have cameras, had the fútbol team backing him up if he was ever accused of something, and his aunt is a member of the school board, so he always got away with everything.”

Ismael frowned, “Damn, that’s... That’s just awful.”

Marc nodded, “I finally broke up with him, and I switched schools. But now that Lucien’s here, I’m worried he’ll do something to Nath when he finds out we’re dating. So that’s why you can’t say anything!”

“Dude, Lucien’s gonna find out you go here sooner or later.”, Ismael said with a shake of his head, “You just gotta avoid him, and hope he turns out like Rossi.” He smiled at the thought of Lila rotting away in her prison cell

Marc shuddered at the memory of how he almost killed Lila. But putting that thought aside, he realized Ismael was right. Lila slipped up and got arrested, so maybe Lucien will too and get what he had coming a long time ago, “I guess... Thanks-”

Ismael cut him off and headed for the door, “Don’t mention it. To anyone.”, and he left

—

Mireille walked out of the library, “Well, he’s not in there.”, she turns to Nathaniel who’s walking out of a classroom, “No luck?”

He shook his head, “No. I’m getting worried; why did he just run off like that?”

“Ask him yourself.”, Mireille narrowed her eyes as the boy approached her and Nathaniel

“What are you talking about, Ismael?”, she asked curtly, “Where’s Marc?”

The brunette ignored her and turned to Nathaniel, “Kurtzberg, I suggest you stay by your boyfriend’s side at all times, especially now that Lucien’s here.”, he warned

“What?”

Ismael held his hands up, sensing the rising hostility in the redhead’s voice, “He told me a couple of things about Rebois. Things that might concern you.”

“Well what did he say? What did Lucien do?”, he asked, wanting to get right to the point, but the other boy merely shook his head

“Like I said: ask him yourself.”, he answered with a pointed look before walking away from the two very confused students

“I’ll talk to him at art club.”, Nathaniel told Mireille before heading back to the cafeteria

—

“So, Nath,”, Lucien sat down in his seat, “I was just wondering, who’s your partner with the Ladybug comic?”, he asked, making Nathaniel tense.

Should he say anything? If what Ismael said was true, then Lucien may hurt Marc. He needed to keep quiet until he has enough information on this guy to know if Marc is safe around him

“Well, he prefers privacy.” he answered, “He doesn’t really like all of the attention.”, it wasn’t really a lie. Marc hated being the center of attention, yet he’s the writer for the most popular comic in Paris

“Huh.”, was Lucien’s response before he turned his attention to the teacher

‘...Okay.’

Throughout the lesson, Nathaniel felt like he was being watched, like someone was plotting to set him on fire. Maybe he was just being paranoid because he was worried about Marc... Yeah, that was it. No one’s out to get him, and he did not just see Lucien glaring at him as if he were Hawkmoth himself

—

Lucien knew what he saw, and he knew what he heard. He knew he saw the silky black hair of his love in the hallway, the bright red hoodie that hid his beautiful frame, and the gentle green eyes that made his heart melt...

He found him. After all this time, he found Marc Anciel. And he had the Ladyblog to thank for that. Even as a monochromatic supervillain who could reverse people, he still looked breath-taking. When he watched the live-stream, he instantly recognized the beautiful Akuma, and insisted on switching schools so he could find him. And who would’ve guessed that they’d end up in the same school again? It was fate, they were meant to stay together.

But then he heard Nathaniel Kurtzberg being referred to as Marc’s boyfriend... That nobody stole Marc away from him: The school golden boy, the one people would kill to date. Well, he was going to get him back. They had art club together, probably to work on the comic. How did he not recognize Marc as the writer? The word choice, the realistic dialogue... Just another thing Lucien loved about him

When that bell rings at the end of the day, Marc will be his again.

—

“You alright, Nath?”, Kim asked Nathaniel as he shut his locker closed and slipped on his swim cap, “You seem a little on edge.”

He shrugged, “... It’s Lucien.”

The Vietnamese boy smiled dreamily at the mention of the name, “Yeah, he’s awesome,” but then frowned, “What about him?”

“Well, I heard some stuff about him.”, he answered as he placed a book in his locker, “And it involved Marc.”, Kim raised an eyebrow, “Ismael told me to keep Marc away from him.”

“Ismael Prisk?”, he nodded, “You actually believe that guy? He’s not exactly the nicest guy, Nath. Plus, Lucien’s chill, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Marc... Not like Lila.”

The artist rolled his eyes at the mention of the Italian, and Kim’s face contorted into disgust

“I can’t believe I thought she was telling the truth.”, Kim said, ashamed, “I get injured all the time, and I come back with bruises and casts. She falls down the stairs and somehow comes back without a singer scratch.”

“Well, I’ll admit, she was pretty convincing.”, Nathaniel admitted with a look of embarrassment, “She almost had me convinced, but then she said she was dating the creator of the Ladybug comic.”

Kim facepalms, “God, me and the others are so dumb.”

Nathaniel chuckled, then shut his locker, “Well, I’m gonna go and see if Marc’s alright.”

“I bet my lucky speedo that Lucien is a good guy!”

Nathaniel yelled back as he walked out the room, “You can keep those!”

—

Meanwhile, in the art room, Marc was listening to music on his headphones and writing in his journal as he waited for Nathaniel to arrive. He needed to relax after the day he’s been having- He’s managed to avoid Lucien, so that’s good... Now he just had to keep doing so until graduation.

This was one of the places where he was safe. Lucien was never really into the arts, so there was no way he’d ever actually come in here

“Lucien, hi!”, Marc heard Rose greet as the song he was listening to faded out. He dropped his pencil in horror

‘Oh, God.’

“So, an athlete, and an artist?”, Alix let out a low whistle, “I’m liking you more and more, man.”

‘They’re all in the same class, of course, they’re friends.’

“Well, not really.”, he responded with a laugh then looked around the room, “I just came to check the place out. I’m liking the calm vibe here.”

Juleka shrugged as she strummed a few chords on her guitar, “It is pretty quiet here sometimes.”

‘Okay, they’re distracting him. Maybe if I sneak out quietly, he won’t notice me.’, Marc slowly gathered his notebook and pencils in his bag, not wanting to make too much noise

“Marc! Have you met Lucien?!”, Rose asked, and at that moment, Marc wanted to die

“...”

When he didn’t move, Juleka raised an eyebrow, “Marc, are you okay?”

Before he could respond, Marc felt a strong hand being placed on his shoulder and heard, “Hello, my Emerald.”, the pet name that made him want to throw up

“Who’s Emerald?”, Alix asked

Lucien feigned surprise and answered, “Oh, did Marc not tell you?”, he holds up his wrist with the choker acting as a bracelet, “We were boyfriends. I call him Emerald because of his lovely eyes.”

Alix, Rose, and Juleka weren’t sure how to respond to that. Do they ask follow-up questions, tell him to leave before Nathaniel arrives, or just kick him out right now because he’s getting a little too close to Marc?

“Okay, okay!”, Alix approaches the two and removes Lucien’s hand from Marc’s arm, “Reunion’s over, you should go try out for a team, Marc has a boyfriend,” she points to the door, “you can leave now.”

“What’s the rush?”, Lucien asked as he placed his hands on Marc’s shoulders and gave them a little squeeze, making the writer shudder, “Can’t a guy just talk to his ex without someone trying to make him leave?” He gives the sleeve of Marc’s jacket a little tug, grinning when it slides off his shoulder a little bit

“I don’t hear you talking to each other.”, Alix spat

He huffed, “Fine.”, then turns to Marc, “Emerald, I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since took our break.”

Marc mumbled, “We broke up.”

“And I want you back.”, he leaned in close to the petrified boy and made escaping impossible. He had Marc pinned against the table, with his arms on either side of him, “Come on, Emerald. Let’s finish where we-“, he didn’t finish as he was pushed away from Marc by none other than Alix

“You have five, fucking, seconds.”, she snarled

Lucien smirked, “Well, I better make the most of it.”, he sent Marc a wink, only infuriating Alix even more.

—

As he made his way towards the art room, Nathaniel’s phone started buzzing. He checked the texts, all caps, and angry emojis

Alix: GET IN HERE BEFORE I SNAP HIS NECK!😡😡😡

Rose: HURRY! ALIX IS GONNA RIP HIS HEAD OFF! 😱

Alix: FHE)3&HE D#%UWUDK WH3$&

Juleka: Alix used her phone to smack him. Also, I think Marc’s having a panic attack!!

At that last text, Nathaniel ran as fast as he could. When he made it to the classroom, his eyes widened at the scene before him- Alix had Lucien in a headlock while Rose tries to pry her off, and Juleka had her arms wrapped around Marc as he sat on the floor

“What the hell is going on?!”, he yelled, grabbing everyone’s attention, except for Marc’s. Juleka helped Marc up and walked him over to his boyfriend. Nathaniel cupped his cheeks in his hands, “It’s okay, Rainbow. I’m here.”, he took one of his shaky hands and kissed it, “It’s okay.”

”Get your hands off of him!”, Lucien snarled, making Marc tighten his arms around Nathaniel, and hide his face in the crook of his neck

Alix jabbed his chest with her finger, “He’s having a panic attack, you dick!”

Nathaniel was suddenly pulled out of Marc’s hold, and the writer pulled his hood over his head, shaking and sobbing as the two boys yelled at each other

“Get out of here!”

“Make me, twerp!”

Marc feels a hand on his shoulder. He holds it, thinking it’s Nathaniel, Alix, Juleka, or Rose. When he looks up and paled when he realized it was Lucien

“Get your hands off of him!”, Rose screamed as Juleka stormed over and yanked the boy away from Marc

“Emerald, you’re going to let them-“

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”, he sobbed

“Get out of here, Rebois.”, Nathaniel growled

“Over my dead- OW!”

Alix had twisted his arm behind his back and is walking him towards the door, “And stay out!”, she pushed him out, then shut the door. Once Lucien regained his composure, he looked around and saw a couple of students giving confused looks and whispering. He stormed off in a huff.

—

“The owner of heart once so full of life only to have it be torn apart, then shattered, and now seeking to take back what was his.”, Hawkmoth holds out his hand, and a white butterfly lands in his open palm. He covers the butterfly, and it’s engulfed with dark magic, turning the butterfly into an Akuma. It flutters away

“Fly, my little Akuma. And evilize him!”

—

Lucien sat outside on the steps of the school, scrolling through photos on his phone, all are of him and Marc when they were dating- Them holding hands while roller-skating, Marc wearing his letterman jacket at a fútbol game, dancing at the spring formal, kissing in his car at a drive-in... They looked so happy... He shoved his phone back in his pocket and rubbed his thumb over the choker necklace wrapped around his wrist. While doing this, he felt something brush up against his finger, and suddenly, he felt as if someone was in his head

“Heart Thief, I am Hawkmoth. I too understand the pain of losing someone you love. Now you can take back what’s yours. In return, you must give me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.”

Lucien wanted to say no. He’s seen what this guy was capable of, but... He’d have Marc all to himself again. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He had to get him back and away from those friends of his. Especially that red-haired twerp...

“I’m coming for you, Marc.”, he smirked as the black mist bubbled up from the choker and surrounded him

Hawkmoth froze when he heard that name. ‘Marc Anciel’ How could such an innocent-sounding name sound so malevolent? He, a mere child managed to silence and overpower him, the most feared villain in all of Paris, and then had the nerve to threaten him... It was quite impressive. Marc was now second on his ‘Must Akumatize’ list, and at the top was Marinette. Even though Lila had been arrested and was no longer a threat to her emotional stability, the Eurasian girl would still make a powerful Akuma- Not one caused by her friends betraying, but definitely, something that would make the heroes fall to their knees

—

“It’s okay, Rainbow. He’s gone.”, Nathaniel whispered as he had his arms wrapped around Marc’s frame, “He won’t hurt you, okay?”

“God! I can’t believe I actually looked up to that guy!”, Alix screeched, “When I see him, I’m just gonna... I’ll...”, she chucks a spray paint can at the door, M. Haberkorn walks in carrying a few blank canvases just as the can drops to the floor with a ‘clank’. “What’s going on here?”, he asked with concern when he felt the tension in the room

Alix sighed, “Sorry, M. Haberkorn. We just... Ugh.”, she slumped into her seat

The art teacher looks and sees Marc in Nathaniel’s protective hold, “Is Marc okay?”

Juleka answers, “We had a run-in with the new student.”

Rose adds, “Yeah, and he was making Marc really uncomfortable! He kept touching him and calling him Em-“, seeing Nathaniel shake his head, she rephrased, “a name that he didn’t like. And he was, I guess flirting with Marc even when we said he and Nathaniel were dating!”

M. Haberkorn frowned. How dare another student come into his classroom and harass one of his children students? “Well, I’ll be having a talk with M. Damocles about this first thing tomorrow.”, he said sternly, “That boy will not set another foot in this room, or hurt you again, Marc.”

Marc lifted his head and sent the kind man a faint smile

Then suddenly, destroying the calm atmosphere were screams coming from the students who stayed after school. Juleka ran out into the hall and saw the Akuma. He wore a black mask with a small red heart above his right eye, a suit where the top half was is tailcoat that was red at the top and black at the bottom, and the ends of the tailcoat formed a broken heart. He wore black pants, black fingerless gloves that revealed his red nails, and came up to his biceps, red platform boots with metal heart buckles that came up to his knees, and in his hand was a black choker necklace with a red metal heart. She gasped when she realized the Akuma was Lucien, then went back in the room, shut the door, and told the others, “Lucien’s an Akuma!”

Alix clenched her fists, “Oh, hell no!”

M. Haberkorn shushed her, “We can’t let him know we’re still in here.”

Everyone froze when they heard the Akuma’s footsteps were getting louder as he approached the room. Nathaniel kept Marc in a protective hold as the taller boy silently cried... The footsteps soon faded away, and they all let out relieved sighs, but this moment was short-lived when the door suddenly blew off its hinges, revealing Heart Thief.

He looked around the room until his eyes land on Marc and smirks, “Oh, Emerald.”, he drawled out, “Did you miss me?”

Alix got into a fighting stance, Nathaniel moved Marc behind him, Rose and Juleka backed away but still stood close by Marc. M. Haberkorn scowled when he realized this was the student that harassed Marc

Sternly he said, “You’re not welcome here. Leave.”, but the villain just laughed

“Not until I take back what’s mine.”, he held up the collar, making Marc back away at the sight of it, “Emerald, come here.”

Alix tightened her fists, “If you think he’s gonna listen to you, you must be-!”, she silenced herself when she saw a red dagger in the shape of a heart appear in the palm of his hand

“Emerald, you know how much I hate waiting,” he chastised, then summoned four more daggers he then sent towards Alix, Rose, Juleka, Nathaniel, and M. Haberkorn. Everyone ducked out of the way, and the daggers hit a sculpture, forming cracks along the surface before it crumbled into bits. Marc looked up and didn’t have time to react before Heart Thief threw the choker at him, and it wrapped itself around his neck. Marc tried to rip it off but then suddenly came to a halt, and his arms dropped to his sides. He and the Akuma locked eyes, and Marc no longer saw Heart Thief, he saw Lucien- His devoted, caring boyfriend. Nathaniel got up, and his eyes widened in shock when he saw that Marc’s irises were now a bright red

He held his hand, “Rainbow?”, but got no response

Heart Thief sent the boy a sneer. His look softened when he looked to Marc, “Emerald, come here.”, he commanded sweetly as his eyes glowed the same shade of red as Marc’s irises

Marc stood, and with no hesitation, ran over to Heart Thief. Rose reached for his hand, but he pulled it away and went to nuzzle up against his chest

Nathaniel looked heartbroken, and even more when Marc and Heart Thief passionately kissed each other, “Oh, I knew you’d come to your senses, Emerald.”, he gently scooped him off his feet, and sent Nathaniel a smirk when Marc wrapped his arms around his neck, “Perhaps I should be calling you Ruby now.” Before he could head out, M. Haberkorn stood at the doorway

“Unhand him this instant!”, he shouted in a tone none of the art students have ever heard him use. Heart Thief just scoffed, settled Marc in his left arm, then he used his free hand to grab the man by his shirt and fling him across the room, causing him to crash into some paint cans that splattered him with a mess of colors. Rose and Juleka went to help him up while Alix and Nathaniel ran after Heart Thief, who fled during the commotion.

While running, Heart Thief summoned six heart-shaped daggers and threw them at Nathaniel and Alix. They weren’t hit, but dodging the daggers slowed them down and allowed Heart Thief to get away

He made his way outside, scaring off a few civilians, but he didn’t care. He finally had Marc back, and once he brought the Miraculous to Hawkmoth, they’ll never be separated ever again

“I told you,” he whispered, “I’d get you back, my Ruby. Nothing will keep us apart.”, he kisses Marc’s pink lips again, but was cut short when he heard, “PUT HIM DOWN!”

Standing at the top of the steps was Nathaniel, seething with rage and with visible tears streaming down his face. Heart Thief rolled his eyes and leaped away

“NO!”

—

“Excellent, Heart Thief. It shouldn’t be too long before Ladybug and Chat Noir arrive. Once you take their Miraculous, he shall be yours forever.”

Heart Thief smiled as he looked down at Marc, his hair blowing in his beautiful face as he ran, “That’s all I want.”

—

Meanwhile, in his room, Adrien was just sitting at his desk, watching footage of the Ladyblog on his three computer monitors, when he suddenly heard screams from outside. He rushed over to his window and looked to see Heart Thief leaping from roof to roof with Marc in his arms

“Is that Marc?”, he asks himself before turning to Plagg, sitting on the couch and munching on some Camembert, “Plagg, we gotta go!”

The Kwami of destruction groaned, “But I just got comfy!”

“Now!”

Plagg, Claws out!

—

Marinette was just sitting on her balcony, flipping through a fashion magazine while Tikki sat on her shoulder eating a macaron. Before the goddess of creation could take another bite, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye

“Marinette, look!”, she looked to where the Kwami was pointing and saw the Akuma running on the roof of a building. She took a closer look and shock crossed her face when she saw Marc cradled in his arms, “Marc?!”

“He must’ve been kidnapped.”, Tikki deduced

“Well, we’re gonna get him back!”

Tikki, Spots On!

—

Back at school, Nathaniel was panicking. He just lost Marc to... To... To that sleaze! What’s even worse is that he could make Marc do whatever he wants. He didn’t even want to imagine that

“Nath, is gonna be okay.”, Alix tried to reassure him

“No it’s not!”, he yelled, “You saw what he was doing to Marc! He’ll- Oh God!”

“Hey,” Alix grabs his shoulders, “he’s not gonna do anything to Marc, okay? Ladybug and Chat Noir will take care of this like they always do. A-and maybe they’ll call on you again since this is a personal thing.”

Nathaniel didn’t care about being Royt Hon again. He just wanted Marc back, “You think so?”, Alix nodded and pointed up towards the red-clad hero swinging across the city

“Once this is over, I’m giving Lucien a piece of my mind.”, she snarled

—

Couples ran out of the way or stood frozen in shock as Heart Thief and Marc walked across Pont Des Arts

“Oh, Ruby. I’m so glad to have you back.”, Heart Thief said as he combed his fingers through Marc’s hair

The writer held onto the Akuma’s free arm and sighed, “I missed you, Lucien.”

“And you don’t love anyone else, only me?”, Heart Thief asked, eyes glowing again as he softly caressed Marc cheek, causing his pink lips to curl into a smile

“No, I only love you.”, even if it was fake, Heart Thief didn’t seem to care, he was just thrilled to have Marc back in his arms and listening to his every word. There was just one thing that could make this even better

“Ruby, I never really liked how that hoodie hid your gorgeous figure.”, Heart Thief said, biting his bottom lip as he messed with the jaw string, “Remove it for me?”

Marc’s eyes flickered from crimson to green, and for a millisecond, he saw Heart Thief and not Lucien, but the Akuma didn’t seem to notice and just waited for Marc to do as he said, “L-love to.”, raising his hand to his shoulder, he began to slide the jacket off, when a voice called out,

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!”

Ladybug and Chat Noir arrived on the scene. Civilians fled, knowing how destructive these Akuma battles could get. Heart Thief stood in front of Marc and sent a glare the heroes’ way as he summoned two daggers, “You will not take my love away from me!”

Ladybug ignored him but kept her yoyo ready in case she would have to deflect those daggers. She furrowed her brow when she saw Marc, clinging onto the Akuma’s arm. That’s when she noticed his eyes were no longer green, and realized he must be being controlled by the Akuma

“Marc, whatever spell he has on you, you need to break free from it!”

“Spell?”

“Yeah, your eyes are supposed to be green! And you love Nathaniel, not him!”, Chat pointed an accusing finger at the Akuma

Suddenly, Marc felt a tinge of pain in his head and held it tightly, causing Heart String to look at him with concern, “My Ruby, are you alright?”

His eyes flickered again, but this time Heart Thief noticed, and so did the heroes, “I-I’m fine.”

Heart Thief let out a sigh of relief and turned his attention back to Ladybug and Chat, summoning ten more daggers, each one sharpened to a fine point and ready to pierce through the heroes, “If you know what’s best for you, you’ll leave me and my Ruby alone.”, he threatened, then sent the daggers at the heroes before gathering Marc in his arms and running off

Ladybug spun her yoyo, Chat spun his staff, and the two deflected each dagger. They either flew off and fell into the water, or were embedded in the floor or nearby benches. Once there were no more daggers coming for them, Ladybug and Chat swung and vaulted after Heart Thief

--

Heart Thief knew his control over Marc was weakening when he saw his eyes turning green again. He had to remove any memories of Nathaniel, seeing as the mere mention of his name would break his control over Marc

After looking around to make sure the heroes were nowhere in sight, Heart Thief stopped on the nearest rooftop and set Marc gently onto the roof, “Lucien, why did you stop?”, he asked as Heart Thief took his hand in his.

“Marc,” he started, “my Ruby.”, his eyes started glowing again, “What do you remember about Nathaniel Kurtzberg?”

Marc’s eyes began flickering again, rapidly, before settling on red, “We go to school together.”, he answered. Heart Thief’s eyes became brighter, “He... He likes to draw. I think.”

He smirked, “What else?”

“... He has brown hair?”

“Anything else you remember about Nathaniel?”, his bright red eyes became a menacing blood red

“...” Marc’s face contorted in confusion as he tried to remember who this boy was. The name sounded so familiar to him, but he couldn’t figure out why “I... I don’t know who that is.”

‘He doesn’t remember him.’, “Are you sure?”, he asked, needing confirmation

“No.” He tilted his head slightly, “Am I supposed to?”, Heart Thief kissed his forehead before answering, “No, my Ruby. He’s not important. Never has been, never will be.”, his muscular arms wrapped around Marc’s frame and pull him in for a hug, which the entranced boy gladly returned

“Found you!”

Having no time to react, Ladybug’s yoyo smacked Heart Thief in the face, making him stumble and fall on his back. Marc went to help him up but found himself being restrained by Chat

“Let me go!”, he shouted, writhing in the leather-clad hero’s hold, “Lucien!”, he called out to the Akuma who was tied up by Ladybug’s yoyo. Heart Thief swept her leg, sending Ladybug down, and freed himself from the magic weapon. Chat Noir ran after him, staff ready, but Heart Thief grabbed the staff and used it to fling him into Ladybug just as she was getting up.

Once the heroes were down, Heart Thief gathered Marc in his arms and leaped away just as Ladybug and Chat Noir got back up and situated themselves

“And I thought cats were territorial.”, Chat joke as he picked up his staff, “Did you see anything on Romeno, that might have been the akumatized object?”

Ladybug shook her head, “Nothing. But we have to keep looking.”, then she yelled out,

“LUCKY CHARM!”, the object that fell into her hands was...

“Marc and Nathaniel’s comic?”

Chat examined the cover, “Issue twelve. The one where Might Illustrator saves Inverser from Scarlet Moth’s control.”, Ladybug raised an eyebrow, to which Chat responded with a shrug, “What? I like their work.”

Ladybug flipped through the pages until she stopped on a specific one. Might Illustrator held Inverser in a loving embrace as the two kissed, and Inverser’s red and black suit faded back to white and black. Ladybug got an idea, “Chat, go after Heart Thief. I’ll be right back.”

He nodded, “On it, m’lady!”, then vaulted away

--

Back at Dupont, Alix was comforting Nathaniel, who was crying into her shoulder, “Okay, so it’s been almost two hours, but Ladybug and Chat Noir will get Marc back!” she reassured, “It almost took them an entire day to defeat some Akumas.”, she reminded him, but Nathaniel couldn’t listen, not when Marc was in the arms of some creep

He just wanted him back...

“Nathaniel!”, Ladybug called out as she landed, startling the two, “I need your help!” she looked down at the comic with her Lucky Vision, then at Nathaniel. Both were ladybug-patterned

Alix gave Nathaniel’s arm a nudge, “Is Royt gonna make a comeback?”

“Not exactly.” she holds out her hand to the redhead, “Right now, Marc needs you. Will you come with me?”

With a look of determination, Nathaniel takes the superheroine’s hand, “Let’s get Marc back.”

“And when you see Lucien,” Alix holds up her fist and smirks, “give him one of these for me, ‘kay, bud?”

Nathaniel gave his friend a nod as Ladybug wrapped her arm around him, “Oh, I’ll be giving him much worse.”, then Ladybug swung away with Nathaniel in her arms

--

After five minutes of running, Heart Thief landed right outside of the Le Grand Blanche Hotel. By the door was a sign that read, ‘Jemart and Mell Wedding in Banquet Hall’ His lips curled into a grin, “Ruby. How would you like us to always be together?”, all he got in response was a kiss on the cheek.

“Heart Thief, what is the meaning of this? I want my Miraculous!”

“And you’ll get them. Right after I make Marc mine forever.” at that, he carried Marc into the hotel.

It took almost ten minutes, but Heart Thief finally found the banquet hall and set Marc down on the floor before using his enhanced strength to punch the door down, much to the alarm of everyone in attendance at the wedding. The groom was just about to put the ring on the bride’s finger.

Heart Thief smirked, “Sorry to interrupt such a lovely ceremony, but this will only take a moment.”

“Marc?” Standing from her seat was Madelyn, dressed in a black vest with a red bow tie, a white dress shirt, black pants, and black heels, “What’s goin’ on; Why are you with an Akuma?”

Marc gave his old friend a confused look, “I’m not with an Akuma, I’m with Lucien.” the girl narrowed her eyes at the Akuma and instantly recognized him, “Rebois.”, she sneered

“Jemart. I thought the name sounded familiar.”

The muscular girl rolled up her sleeves and stormed over to the Akuma, “After all this time, even as an Akuma, you’re still a creep.” her look softened when she turned to Marc, “Mar-Mar, whatever lies this boy has been telling you, don’t believe him.”

He gave her an incredulous look, “He said he loves me.”

“Marc,” she grabs his shoulders, “you broke up with him for a reason! He’s possessive, he threatened your friends, he made you wear a collar!” she looks at the black choker around his neck, “And he still is. Mar-Mar, you’re one of my best friends. Please. Believe me when I’m telling you that Lucien- Heart Thief- Whatever! He’s using you...”

It’s a stare down between the two. Marc’s crimson red eyes started flickering again and were becoming a forest green color until Heart Thief squeezed his hand, and his eyes went back to red “Maddy, please move.”

A tear forms out of the eye of the usually tough girl, “Marc-”

In one swift motion, Madelyn was pinned to the wall by Heart Thief’s daggers, each one just an inch away from piercing her body. Marc looked back at her with concern until Heart Thief linked their arms and walked him down the aisle, prompting the bride and groom to move out of the way. The priest would have run too, but Heart Thief’s glare kept him in place.

“O-okay then.”, the priest stammered, “So, do you, Heart Thief, t-take Marc to b-be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”, he answered quickly

“Of course.”, he said before turning to Marc, “And do y-you, Marc, take Heart Thief to-to be your la-lawfully wedded husband?”

“I-”

Before he could say ‘do’, someone yelled out, “I OBJECT!”

Everyone looked to see Paris’ heroes and Nathaniel standing at the doorway. Ladybug’s earrings had all five dots, having refueled Tikki before they arrived, and she was giving Chat a bored look, “Was that necessary?” he shrugged, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Nathaniel’s eyes didn’t leave Marc for a second. He always fantasized about seeing Marc at an altar, but not like this.

“Crashing my wedding?!” How tacky are you?” Heart Thief shouted, pulling Marc closer to him

Nathaniel sneered, “I’m tacky?! You brainwashed my boyfriend!”

“He’s marrying me willingly! Right, Ruby?” Marc nodded.

Ladybug threw her yoyo at Heart Thief. It wrapped around his ankles, and she flung him across the room, making him crash into a wall. Nathaniel made his way over to Marc, but he ran over to the wounded Akuma, and Nathaniel couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.

Ladybug then called for her, “LUCKY CHARM!”

And in her hands was... “A magnet?”

While she looked for a way to use the lucky, Chat Noir quickly dragged Marc over to Nathaniel while Heart Thief was down, “Nathaniel, get him somewhere safe.” With a nod, Nathaniel pulled Marc out of the banquet hall, and the battle began

--

“Where are you taking me?!”, Marc asked as Nathaniel continued to pull him through the building, with some struggle since Marc kept trying to pull his hand out of his grasp

“I’m getting you away from him, Marc!”, he answered, then the two made their way into a stairwell

“What?! How do you even know my name; who are you?!”

After hearing those last three words, Nathaniel’s heart shattered. He stopped on his tracks and look Marc right in his eyes, “You... You don’t know who I am?”

Marc shook his head, “No. Look, I-I need to go back, or Lucien’s gonna-”

“Forget about Lucien!”, he shouted, “He’s hurt you in the past, and is still doing so! Marc... He doesn’t love you.”

“H-he said he-”

Nathaniel was now crying at this point, “He doesn’t mean it... I know you don’t remember me, o-or everything we’ve been through together, and you probably won’t believe me when I tell you this, but I love you! I can’t lose you, you’re... You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me...” Seeing no change on Marc’s confused face, he slid down the wall and tucked his head into his knees and silently cried, “I love you, Rainbow.”

Marc just stood, not wondering what to do right now. He wanted to go back to Lucien, but this boy was claiming that he was a part of his life right now and is clearly upset... Lucien wouldn’t mind if he stayed back to comfort... Nick? Noah?... Nathan... What did Chat Noir call him earlier?... Nathaniel! That was his name. It sounded so nice.

Marc’s eyes flickered again and became a red-orange color. “... A comic”, Nathaniel looked up in confusions, tears still streaming down his face, “We... We worked on a comic together.”

Nathaniel wiped some of his tears away, “Y-yeah. Yeah!”, he got on his feet, and held Marc’s hands, “Do you remember anything else?”

"... W-we became friends after Reverser?”

Nathaniel grinned when he realized Marc’s memories of him were slowly returning, and his eyes were going back to their normal color with each memory, “Yes! That’s right! What else?”

“Uh... I had to sleep over your house after Alix made us watch a scary movie.”, his eyes faded to yellow-orange

Nathaniel blushed at the memory. Marc’s parents were out of town that week and he did not wanna sleep alone, so he offered to let him sleep over his house. In his room... In his bed.

“We went to Comic Con together as Ruby and Sapphire,” he chuckled, “sold a few of our comics, and... And... You told me you love me.”

“I do. And I always will... Marc... My Rainbow. If you take off that choker, I can guarantee that you’ll know who actually loves you, and you’ll know who you love.”, Nathaniel wrapped his arms around Marc’s waist and pulled him in for a hug. His hugs felt so different from Lucien’s; they were warmer. “If that person is still Lucien, know that I’ll never stop loving you.”

Marc slowly reached for his choker and undid the clasp. Once the offending material was no longer around his neck, Marc threw it to the floor, causing it to break.

“Rainbow?”, Nathaniel whispered. He looked and saw Marc’s beautiful green eyes once again, and brimming with tears

“I missed you.”

“... I missed you too!”

The two kissed, hands clasped together and fitting perfectly, and bodies pressed against each other. This tender moment was cut short when they heard a flapping sound and looked to see an Akuma fluttering beside them. Nathaniel glared at the thing that almost took away his boyfriend, and snatched it in his hands

“Nath!”, Marc exclaimed worriedly, “Are you okay.”

He nodded, “Yeah. I’m way too happy to become Akumatized.” Marc smiled and kissed his cheek

--

The two made their way back into the banquet hall and took in the scene before them. The wedding guests took cover on the other side of the room, and Heart Thief was dangling over a hole in the floor that was no doubt Cataclysmed. Ladybug’s yoyo, which had been thrown over a chandelier, was tied around the Lucky Charm magnet that was stuck to the metal heart-shaped buckles on his boots. Ladybug and Chat Noir kept looking to see where the Akumatized object was until Nathaniel cleared his throat and the heroes turned their attention to him and Marc.

Ladybug smiled, “Marc! You’re back!”

“That’s great, but we still can’t find the Akuma.”, Chat said as he continued looking

“Oh, it was in Marc’s choker necklace.” Nathaniel said, chuckling when Ladybug and Chat facepalmed

Ladybug retracted her yoyo and Heart Thief fell back into the hole before crawling back out. With a nod from the spotted heroine, Nathaniel opened his hands and released the Akuma, only for it to be caught by Ladybug’s yoyo

“No more evil-doing for you, little Akuma. Time to de-evilize! Gotcha!”

The newly purified butterfly fluttered out of the yoyo, “Bye-bye, little butterfly.”, Ladybug told it, then pulled the magnet off of Heart Thief’s boot and tossed it into the air, “MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

The magnet burst into thousands of ladybugs that flew around Paris. They fixed the banquet hall, the art room, and got rid of the daggers throws by Heart Thief. Black and purple mist engulfed Heart Thief then lifted to reveal Lucien. He gets up and furrows his brow, “What am I doing here?” Hearing someone clear their throat, he turned around and saw Marc and Nathaniel glaring at him with such malice, but Marc’s glare was more intense

Marc stormed over to him and rolled up one of his sleeves, “Em-Emerald, I-” He was cut off a powerful left hook right to his face that sent him to the floor, much to the shock of Nathaniel, Ladybug, and Chat “You had that coming a long time ago, Rebois!”

“WHOO!”, Madelyn cheered as she made her way over to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, “My boy can still throw a mean hook!”, Marc laughed and hugged her, “Hey, Maddy.”, “Hey my little gay of sunshine!”, she then noticed Nathaniel and smiled, “So I’m guessing he’s your new boyfriend?”

Marc pulled away from the hug and made his way over to Nathaniel. The two held hands, confirming Madelyn’s suspicion “Well, I already like him a lot better than Rebois.”, she gave the de-akumatized boy’s leg a kick

Ladybug and Chat Noir fist-bumped, “Pound it!”

--

“Ladybug and Chat Noir, like Heart Thief, I don’t care how long it takes until I finally have what’s mine! And as for Marc Anciel... I’ll still be keeping a close eye on you...”

--

It was a new day at school, no one’s seen Lucien for a week. His Akumatization a history at Vadim spread like a wildfire, now everyone knew exactly the kind of person he was. Kim, Alix, and the whole school fútbol team took down their (not literal) shrine to him. Rumors were spreading too- ‘Lucien got expelled’, ‘Lucien went back to Vadim’, ‘Lucien fled to Bombay’, ‘Lucien melted his head’, ‘Lucien’s totally dead’. Okay, so that last two were a little outlandish, but at least everything was back to normal

As Marc and Nathaniel were walking home after art club, Marc got a text from his phone, “It’s from Maddy.”, he smiled as he read the message, “The GSA social is coming up. She, Mehdi and Syd wanna know if we’re free to go on Saturday.”

Nathaniel smiled and kissed his cheek, “Tell them we’ll be there, and I can’t wait to meet everyone.”

Taglist:

@toodaloo-kangaroo

[pokemagines]

guzma, sycamore, lysandre & colress + mute s/o hcs

ask: Guzma, Sycamore, Lysandre, and Colress with a mute s/o hc?

a/n: I Memed This Ask. also, it got horribly long, so after guzma’s there’s gonna be a read more so it won’t take up so much space on the blog!! signed, mod elesa. ps rip mobile users

guzma

when guzma first met you, he thought you were just a quiet kid. you reminded him eerily of those twins, Sun and Moon.

so, after endless hours of trying to get a word out of you, he starts getting angry. he thinks you’re mocking him by not answering his questions, when in fact, it’s quite the opposite. he’s ready to throw hands when you start signing frantically to him. please don’t hurt me.

thinking you’re throwing up gang signs, he looks at you, confused. it clicks after a moment of your panicked breathing and his brain putting two and two together... “you a mute?” you nod, and it’s like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

since guzma doesn’t know a lick of alolan sign language, he resolves to assigning hand gestures and head nods as a form of communication so he can understand you. at first, you laugh at his outlandish sign for “i’m hungry” when, in fact, it meant “tauros shit”...      + “how the hell was i supposed ta know it meant ‘tauros shit’?! i’m no linguist! hey, stop laughing!”

while he was uncomfortable with the idea of silence, he soon realized mute people make noises just like regular people do. they just can’t... conversate. he found that out after you spilled hot tapu cocoa on your favorite shirt, and also after the two of you had-- “hey, keep it pg in there!” hau yells in the distance.

guzma: what the fuck are you trying to say to me [y/n]

you: [signing furiously] U R M O M G A Y

guzma: FUCK YOU GOT ME AGAIN

sycamore

augustine’s first encounter with a mute person was... well, with you. safe to say, his good looks couldn’t really save him the embarrassment he must’ve caused you when he flirted with you at the supermarket and you couldn’t really... say much. of course, he had assumed you were just speechless he was talking to you — but you can’t be speechless if you can’t even speak, can you?      + “oh, ma cher, am i bothering you? you haven’t spoken a word to me this entire time.” you’re clenching the cold pack of Krabby to hopefully calm down the blush on your face, but you’re pretty sure that only makes it worse. “do you not talk to strangers? i don’t usually give out my number, but you seem so interesting i don’t think i’ll regret it.” he leaves you be after registering the number in your pokedex, and you immediately text him.      + i’m mute. that’s why i didn’t say anything to you. he’s in the checkout line and the look he gives you is one of pure horror and mortification of what he just did.

you make it a goal of yours to tease him about it every time you two go to the supermarket. somehow, his faux-paus ended up with an apology dinner, you offering your guest bedroom to him, him cuddling you as a form of apology and you panicking, red-faced, at the intimate contact.

a part of you doesn’t believe he’s actually a pokemon professor, but when he shows you his lab, you realize... wow. this guy actually has a brain. he’s genuinely intelligent, attractive, and... would you call him funny? i mean, he can’t seem to take jokes at his expense very well, so... perhaps not.

sycamore is more than willing to learn kalosian sign language to communicate with you. you had no knowledge of his understanding of sign language prior, so when he signs a deliberate “how are you doing this morning?”, you assume he knows what he’s doing.      + “m-ma cherie, i don’t know what you’re signing! i only learned that this morning to try and impress you!” oh. that definitely makes more sense. you snicker and sign at him, amateur. he has to search it up on Voila to know what it means... you can’t help the fit of giggles when he yells down the hall of the lab, “YOU CALLED ME AN AMATEUR?”

in comparison with everyone else, sycamore is relatively silly and lets his guard down when he’s around you. it’s initially why you thought he was a total bag of rocks, only to find out he’s one of the greatest minds in the kalos region. a part of you feels special that he only shows this side to you — another part wishes he would use that intelligence of his to get a clue that you’re trying to ride his dick into the sunset, but hey. 

lysandre

lysandre has so many employees he doesn’t ever get to know them by name. he has an especially hard time remembering you at first because you’re so... plain. one thing that stands out to him is the fact that all you ever do is nod and smile rather than say dumb shit like his other employees.

the obedience is definitely a plus (or at least the appearance of obedience), as he knows he can count on you to get your job done. once you get promoted and you can sit in on executive meetings as a note taker, he always notices your subtle smirks and facial expression changes based off of what people are saying.      + you’re more than knowledgeable about what goes on in the lysandre company, so you’ve definitely formed an opinion or two. you shock lysandre one day after sending him an e-mail detailing why he shouldn’t approve funding for a new project until the pokedex has been ‘perfected.’       + when the new pokedex update is released, stocks shoot up and critics praise lysandre for somehow managing to achieve god-like levels of innovation. the next day, he approaches you at the office and nearly pulls you into a hug as he thanks you for the e-mail...

he realizes you can’t speak on the first date when you point silently to what you want on the lavish dinner menu rather than say it aloud, an action that strikes him as odd. “can you speak, [y/n]?” you shake your head, and his eyebrows raise. “mute?” you nod and point to your throat, as if saying vocal chords don’t work. he nods, understanding.

lysandre falls in love with you after a few months of knowing you, intrigued at how you get around without the use of speech. he even goes on a ‘cleanse’ of sorts to communicate exclusively in kalosian sign language so he could talk to you, something that makes you blush profusely.      + after all, it’s not every day where you’re sitting on an expensive couch and a gorgeous red-haired man signs at you, want to go to the bedroom? 

colress

although a man of many talents, he lacks a prowess for linguistics, despite putting it on his resume and claiming he’s fluent... the lie shows itself when you start working in the alolan lab with him, and you approach him and ask him a question. where exactly do we go to the bathroom if we’re in this cramped space? he stares at you, confused.      + don’t you know alolan sign language? he manages to get out something along the lines of an “uhhh” before you sigh, drop your hands and mouth ‘bathroom’ and ‘where’. he seems to understand you at that point and chuckles awkwardly, because... “well, there really is no bathroom around here...”

he confesses to you he doesn’t know a lick of ASL and you snicker, shaking your head as you go back to your work. colress makes you promise to not say anything to anyone, and you just shrug and continue your work. 

the first few weeks of knowing each other was nearly impossible to communicate. he would speak to you, asking complex questions and expecting you to somehow be able to communicate just as complex answers. how the hell were you supposed to do that without rudely gesturing for him to look through your microscope and your notes??? defeated, you resolved to handwriting your responses.

a few months of knowing each other and colress can finally communicate in understandable ASL, although he still asks for you to slow down when you sign too fast. it’s odd for the other lab workers, seeing the two of you move your hands and bodies to communicate, but they eventually learn to ignore it. 

you’re the only person in the office who makes colress nervous, mostly because his intellect is finally challenged. he’s never been the ‘weaker’ person, so to speak, so when he finds himself stumped on how to communicate with you... he makes an effort to learn how to.       + you’ve seen him nervous, you’ve heard him beg, you’ve watched him sweat profusely as he tries to understand your thought process without the aid of spoken word. it really brings people closer together, these panicked and stressful experiences.      + it takes a year and a half but when colress finally takes the opportunity to bed you, you end up domming him. a shocker, yes, as colress has never been one to completely submit to a partner, but... the mysterious air you give off during sex is enough to make his hands clammy and his dick harder than diamonds.       + “this is the only relationship i’ve had where there’s been a switch dynamic, [y/n]... you do crazy things to me, i must say.” you smile, cheeks rosy, and plant a kiss on his cheek.

[analysis-by-vaylon]

Vaylon's Crazy Theory #1: Pony Head will die, and Marco will use her horn as a weapon.

I told you these theories would be crazy, even for me.

First, a disclaimer: the contents of this post are sold as-is. Not guaranteed to actually predict the future, end shipping wars, or bring total enlightenment. Read at your own risk. May cause drowsiness or confusion. Void where prohibited. All sales are final. NO REFUNDS.

(This will be a long post.)

Perhaps you're thinking to yourself, "Vaylon, you crazy person, you, how on earth could you even begin to possibly justify such an outlandish theory?!" Well, what if I told you that it starts all the way back in episode 1b: "Party with a Pony"? But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story: let's talk about the Holy Grail.

Not This @#$% Again!

If you're a regular follower of my blog, then I'm sure by now you're sick to death of me talking about the Holy Grail theory and how I think Lekmet's horn will come to play a big role in future seasons. Well, too bad! It’s a good theory, and I’m proud of it. There’s plenty of evidence for it, in my opinion -- but I missed something related to the Grail. Something big.

You see, I'm kind of an idiot for not realizing the possibility of this Pony Head theory sooner. The answer is literally right in front of my face every day. Have you ever seen my profile picture? It's the Lance of Longinus from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Evangelion's Lance is based on an actual legend in medieval Christian tradition. The legend says that a Roman soldier named Longinus wanted to make sure that Christ was really dead, so he stabbed him in the side with his spear. (The use of the word lance instead of spear is debatable, but I like the alliteration, so I'm going to use it.) All sorts of stories and magical powers are associated with this weapon, and lots of different relics claim to be the "true" Lance. But here's the thing I had forgotten: in order for the Grail to catch the blood of Christ (and thus become the Grail), there has to be a sizable wound. The Lance, then, is what causes that wound.

The Holy Grail is only half of the picture! You can't have the Grail without the Lance; they go together. I felt like a fool when I realized the connection I’d been missing -- the hint was right in front of me the whole time.

In Arthurian tales, the Grail and Lance often go hand-in-hand -- one or both are depicted as continually dripping with blood -- and there have been lots (and lots) of books written about the symbolism behind the two mythical objects. One reading is that the Grail and Lance symbolically represent feminine and masculine aspects, respectively. Or, more irreverently, they represent Venus and Mars. Any of this starting to sound familiar yet?

I've written previously about Star being associated with the goddess Venus. Marco, then, of course, is associated with the god Mars; not only is his name ultimately derived from Mars, but he has a strong connection to the color red and to martial arts. The Roman god of war is depicted as carrying a spear as a weapon -- indeed, it's part of his symbol, which has now become the traditional symbol for "male." If there is indeed a Lance in Star vs. the Forces of Evil, then it seems only fitting that Marco -- the Lancer of the series -- comes to wield it.

Once I started thinking about the Lance, it was easy to find references to it (some more subtle than others). I've divided the theory into two sections: the first part will deal with connecting Pony Head to the Lance (and hence to Marco). The second part will deal with the foreshadowing of Pony Head's death. Let's begin!

Pony Head and Marco

Remember "Party with a Pony" -- the very first episode we see Pony Head in? Do you remember what game Pony Head and Marco play at the Amethyst Arcade?

Lance Lance Revolution! I was stunned when I recalled that scene. (I also wonder if it's a stealth reference to the opening of Revolutionary Girl Utena -- watch for the flying horses!) Notably, Pony Head loses the game to Marco. Indeed, for what it's worth, there are a number of references to sharp objects in "Party with a Pony":

The series is trying to establish a comparison between lances and Pony Head. Sound far-fetched? Perhaps -- but that's the point (so to speak) of this post. This theory's reading opens up the episode to a lot of irony in lines like this, for instance:

Pony Head: Look here, Earth Turd. This night is really important to me. You mess that up, and you’re gonna get the horn.

Marco could literally receive the horn from Pony Head. And there is another line in "Party with a Pony" that is much, much darker upon re-interpretation, but I'll save that for the second half. For now, let's move on to some other episodes.

Both Star and Marco make use of Pony Head several times throughout the series as a tool:

Her role as a tool in "St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses" and in "Pizza Thing" could foreshadow the eventual use of her horn as a weapon. "Pizza Thing" is particularly interesting as it focuses on Pony Head and Marco's relationship -- indeed, every time we see Pony Head on-screen, she is somehow causing trouble for Marco -- and there are odd lines in it like this one that seem to hint at something else going on:

Pony Head, however, does have a sharp edge to stab someone with. Marco using her horn as a weapon would be symbolic of the friendship between him and Pony Head; we would think of her every time he uses it. This shot is probably the most symbolic one in the episode, however:

Bowls, as I noted before in my post on the Holy Grail, are symbolic of the Grail; the symbolism, I think, is reinforced by Pony Head putting eggs into it. (Pizza dough does not ordinarily have eggs in it!) Remember: the Grail and the Lance go together. They are a pair, just like Star and Marco.

Finally, there's a pretty unusual passage in Star and Marco's Guide to Mastering Every Dimension:

It seems likely to me that the writers intend far more meaning behind Pony Head and Marco's relationship than is apparent at first glance; if this theory is correct, then perhaps Marco and Pony Head will become much closer than they are now just before she is killed, and he will commit himself to keeping her memory alive in a way she would have wanted.

Word Associations

I think "The Bounce Lounge" -- another often-overlooked episode -- is important, too, for establishing darker themes associated with Pony Head: that of old age, finality, and death. Yet, before we get into those themes, there's something odd going on in this episode, something that I've previously remarked on: shot-for-shot, "The Bounce Lounge" and "The Hard Way" have similar composition. (If you play both episodes at the same time, you'll see for yourself what I'm talking about.) In particular, I would like to focus on these two shots:

Visually, Pony Head is being compared to a pillar. Pillars play an unusual role in the series; for one thing, they're connected to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade -- a film about the quest for the Holy Grail. For instance, the pillars that mark the clues that Indiana Jones follows are echoed in the second half of season two of Star vs. the Forces of Evil:

Pillar is a word with an interesting etymology. As you can see, it's ultimately derived from the Latin pila -- a word with some interesting connections (among them: mortar and pestle, pistil) -- but, more to the point (again, so to speak), it’s also etymologically connected to the Latin word pilum -- the famed javelin of the Roman soldier. Both pila and pilum probably have their origin in the proto-Indo-European root *peys- meaning "to crush."

The word pillar is ultimately derived from a root meaning "to crush." If you’re skeptical about the significance of this, just consider what a pillar does at the end of "The Battle for Mewni":

Yeah.

I don't think there's any need for us to balk at this sort of word association -- with cleaved in "Storm the Castle" and Janna sleeping in the grave in "Bon Bon the Birthday Clown," the writers have clearly demonstrated that they're aware of the meanings and etymologies of words. (As an aside, think about how much importance the word crush has in episodes like "Sleepover" and "Starcrushed"!) If Pony Head can be compared to a pillar, then she certainly can be compared to a javelin (or, more aptly, a spear).

The amount of suffering in "The Battle for Mewni" -- and the sheer number of times that the words dead or kill are used -- hint that the series as a whole is moving toward a darker, more serious tone. Would the death of a supporting character really be that out of place? There are some elements scattered throughout the series so far which hint at Pony Head's death; let's take a look at them.

The Shadow of Death

Even from the beginning of Pony Head's introduction, there's an air of danger and death around her; after all, in "Party with a Pony," she does try to kill Marco:

In the same episode, Marco responds to Pony Head with some violence of his own:

If this theory is right, and Pony Head is destined to die, consider how darkly ironic King Pony Head's incredible line at the end of "Party with a Pony" becomes:

King Pony Head: Ah, kids... You have 'em, and then you... wish they weren't around.

And that episode isn't the only one like that; as I noted earlier, "The Bounce Lounge" is entirely themed around old age, finality, and endings. There's a crow in the decrepit Bounce Lounge, an omen of death (if you watch the scene, note how the sound travels to the left channel, drawing your attention to the crow):

There's some visual metaphor going on as well: when Star starts to cry, all of her glass unicorn figurines shatter into pieces. Could this be foreshadowing Star's sorrow at her best friend's death? Indeed, the entire episode seems dedicated to priming the audience for -- something -- some kind of major loss or death:

Furthermore, Milly Sparkles says "six customers" -- and the show wants us to pay attention to what she says and how she says it -- but there are actually seven characters present:

At first, I wondered if something would happen to Marco, since he's the only one not reflected in Milly's shades, but in light of this theory, I now think it's Pony Head. A stretch, admittedly (isn't it all?), but it's hard to deny that "The Bounce Lounge" is a grim portent. To a lesser extent, “Running with Scissors” also presages death in what could be an ironic fashion:

This theory of mine about Pony Head may also help explain something I'd been puzzling over for quite a while during the season two finale livestream, which featured Marco and StarFan13 talking about Easter eggs to watch for during "Face the Music" and "Starcrushed":

StarFan13: Did you find all the Easter eggs? Did you find the unicorn skull, the pizza nuggets, and the shoulder tassels?

As far as I know, there's no unicorn skull in either "Face the Music" or "Starcrushed." However, there are some bones near the flytrap-like plant in "Face the Music":

But those don't look like unicorns to me; look at their teeth. (Also, the clues indicate we're looking for a single unicorn skull.) Perhaps this connection is far-fetched, but I always thought the hint of "unicorn skull" prefigured some other death -- and now I think it may be referring to Pony Head's eventual demise. (If someone has an alternate explanation for the unicorn skull hint, I would be happy to hear it!) But this is just a minor point compared to what I think is the biggest clue of all...

In a post about "Starcrushed," I wrote about how, among other things, the Magic High Commission and Star's group of friends all seem to run parallel to one another:

Emergency Friend Meeting: Star, Pony Head, Kelly, Janna, and StarFan13. Magic High Commission: Moon, Lekmet, Omnitraxus Prime, Hekapoo, and Rhombulus.

Thanks to Moon in "Return to Mewni," we know for a fact that Lekmet is gone for good:

Since "Starcrushed" implicitly compares Star's group of friends to the Magic High Commission, I don't think it's too much of a stretch to posit that one of Star's friends could die as well -- and the closest one to Lekmet in terms of kind and symbolism is Pony Head.

Lekmet is associated with healing (as is the Holy Grail); similarly, real-life legends about unicorns are also associated with healing -- their alleged horns were valuable, sought-after items believed to be cure-alls and were purchased by medieval nobles wanting to protect themselves against poison and disease. Both Lekmet and Pony Head have prominent horns, although Pony Head uses hers for magic, and it hasn't been revealed -- yet, anyway -- whether or not Lekmet's horn is magic (but I think it will be soon).

If Lekmet's horn is to be used as a magic item by Star, then is it really that much of a stretch to imagine Pony Head dying and her horn being used as a weapon by Marco?

How It All Goes Down

From what I've been reading, plenty of fans dislike Pony Head; in any case, I would certainly not characterize her as a popular character. I think she's fine in small doses, and at times she can even be hilariously off-beat: her appearance in "Running with Scissors" attests to that! A moment of redemption for her -- something to truly bolster audience opinion of her, perhaps even a heroic sacrifice -- would fit perfectly, I think, into the development of an otherwise unlikable character. It makes a whole lot of sense to me.

And, if it is to happen, then it seems obvious how: Miss Heinous. From "Heinous" -- an episode that I love due to how utterly off-the-rails demented it is -- it's clear that Miss Heinous is quite involved in the process of losing her grip on reality, and she's also become far more bloody-minded than previously shown. Here's a possible chain of events:

Miss Heinous threatens to kill Marco.

Pony Head sacrifices herself to save Marco.

Marco takes Pony Head's horn for revenge.

Implausible? Sure. I freely admit that this theory is crazy -- it's in the title, after all -- but I absolutely think it could happen, and that's what makes it so deliciously tantalizing. Given the show's running theme of transition, I think it would also be influential in terms of character development for Star if she lost her childhood friend; not only would it be symbolic of her transition to adulthood, but it would provide Pony Head a means of redeeming herself and allow the show to reveal just how dark it can truly be. I can’t wait for November!

I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to complain here (or just send questions). Until next time! Take care of yourselves.

[tooobster]

Sorry, this isn’t really blog appropriate but I really think this needs to be said.

Honestly, I’m disappointed at anyone who thinks cutting ties with someone because they have a different political, religious, racial, or overall opinion is a good idea. I’ve seen it everywhere. It hasn’t happened to me yet, because I tend to keep my opinions to myself, but it’s getting ridiculous. 

I started seeing it in the beginning of the election. Saw someone on my Facebook post along the lines of “If you support Donald Trump, we can’t be friends.” And let me tell you, no matter what you said to this girl, no matter how much I tried telling her how ridiculous it was to drop a friendship with someone for a political opinion, she wasn’t having any of it and was practically inviting me to fuck off too if I didn’t agree with her. I did in the end, because I’d rather not associate with people who believe that that’s a good idea, but that wasn’t the point. In the end, your political opinion is a personal matter and, unless you want to talk about it, you shouldn’t feel obligated to. Nor should anyone feel obligated to demand to know your political stance, or claim that every Trump Supporter no longer deserves to be your friend because of it. This person was completely fine with dropping best friends, even, because of this. It was absolutely insane. A political opinion. Someone’s opinion of one man, who’s only going to be in the white house for four years, was apparently worth more than the memories they’ve shared throughout their entire lifetime. It was honestly sad to see. 

And now, this whole stupid PewDiePie war going on. It’s another case of people going back on others and dropping friendships because of an opinion about a dude on YouTube. A fucking YouTuber. I’m not going to get into details or say my piece about what I think because I haven’t watched Felix’s videos since- in my opinion- his content went down the shitter, so I’m not too passionate about him. I guess just like politics. 

But, to any of you who think this is okay at all... you’re cutting ties with people you’ve probably known and loved for years, made so many precious memories with these people, and had the potential to make more, because of a person. A person who will probably never even directly come into contact with either of you. And I know that you’re going to say something along the lines of these people having a negative direct effect on the world, and these people are racist/sexist/homophobic/anti-semitist because they’re either defending or supporting said person. But see, you’re looking at people in black and white. You’re putting them in a box between good or bad. You’re deciding for them whether or not they’re the good guy or the bad guy. In reality, there is no real good guy or bad guy. There’re just people trying to do what they think is right in the ways they know how. These people supporting Trump, rather than looking at the questionable statements, are looking more at what Trump can do for this country. How he can pull us out of our economic slump. The people defending Felix, rather than taking what he did seriously, are looking at the bigger picture and making sense of his statements being purely satirical and outlandish. Not everyone supporting Felix right now hates Jews. Not everyone supporting Trump hates gays and muslims and “mexicans.” The people who are (or I guess were in this case) your friends don’t hate you or any of these people. There are just some people trying to not point fingers and place unnecessary labels on others.

Please, people. Don’t let one person undo so many years, or months, or even days, of laughs and great memories. I’m not saying be friends with everyone, because if they are being manipulative and toxic towards you than it’s definitely a good idea to escape that friendship. But the opinion about a person on the internet isn’t “toxic.” It’s an opinion that differs from your own. And it doesn’t need to be brought up around if you don’t want it to be; that’s the great thing about open communication.

This rant thing is longer than it needs to be, but before I go, just something to keep in mind. I’m hispanic (well, very much mixed, but I was raised with heavy puerto rican influences) as well as a lesbian, and my brother is a Trump supporter and very “red-pill” as he likes to call it. The only time things get heated is when I get salty at him about not washing his own damn plate. Aside from that, we live under the same roof and we don’t try to strangle each other. It’s possible to co-exist with and even get along with people whom have extremely different world views.

... I’ve really been going on too long. Anyways, ending this now. I know I can’t change the world but hopefully, I can save a few friendships.

[wishingfornever]

10/19/17 – Extensive Contact:  To Forgive, Never Forget

Current time is 11:55.  I had several dreams last night that I’d like to share.

The first was a dream that Wendel, my childhood home in the middle of nowhere, was being renovated.  As in I drove in and there was a Pizza Hut, a McDonald’s, and a Walgreens there as I drove back into it. I had to leave for something and there were more Pizza Huts and multiple McDonalds’.  It was becoming a town with a lot of emphasis on these two businesses.

Second dream… it was about Esther.  I had returned and she and I were talking again.  She was very polite and very nice.  Asked for forgiveness and I said, “It’s alright, you thought it was best. I’m just glad you’re back.”  We were cleaning around the house and she said she’s single again.  I took the hint and asked if I could be her boyfriend again and have the second chance I never really had.  She agreed.  

There was a lot we were doing and I proposed that we can get her a ticket to come back to Houston with me when we were done there.  She couldn’t have been happier.  I asked her if she’d want to read the journal.  She said yes.

My thoughts at the time was, “Oh, boy!  I can’t wait to tell my journal that she and I are getting back together!” which was later followed by, “Wait, am I still going to post it?  I guess we’ll see when she’s done.”

Then I woke up.  I was so upset when I woke up.  I should have known it was a dream.  She was too compliant.  This is destroying me.  :/

The original blog is still up.  Did I ever explain what that was?  I think I mentioned it, but never really got into it.

She started it when we started dating.  She posted these little posts about our relationship.  I had to guess the password.  I believe I shared that password, actually.  That said, they were very inspiring. It gave me hope.  It was a very supportive platform.  Posts when things were still somewhat good… they’re in white with blue text. She basically stopped posting when we were in California.  The last post when we were in a relationship goes like this:

“6.2.2017

Its hard opening up about what’s going on inside of me. I usually wait until it passes & try to ignore it. Today was different. Part of healing is acknowledging what you feel & accepting it. Part of doing that is communicating to the people around you about whats happening.

Just saying, ur hella special. Ur welcome.”

The last post goes:

“9.3.2017

The end.”

That fucking hurts.  It hurts so bad.  I just wish we could see eye to eye again.  If I had three wishes, I’d wish to be the person she deserved.  I wished she was always happy.  I’d wish for another chance.  I don’t like it, but this is how things are.  This is my biggest regret.

I really don’t feel like doing much of anything today.  I think I’ll go back to my room.  I’m sorry.  But, looking at the bright side, at least you won’t have to hear me talk about my every moment of the day this time.  I’m sure that’s a bonus to some.

I’m back.  Only after an hour.  I asked Daniel to talk to Esther. Hopefully let her in on the fact that Dennis lied to me, her, and everyone else.

Just spoke to Shane.  He seemed to have denied lying.  Told me much more about the subject.  It’s possible that he was lying to me, but it’s even more possible that Dennis is the one who was lying.  I’m not sure who to trust right now.  I want to trust Shane, but I feel I’m confronted by my own bias.  I need advice.

Who do I trust?

It doesn’t matter.  I guess this is all the next step for the drama. Maybe she’ll be more suspicious of Dennis.  Maybe she’ll begin asking herself the right questions.  Thing is, if she doesn’t want to believe then she won’t.  For her own securities.  I guess that’s why I never figured he’d do this to me.

You know, I’ll be happy if Esther just talks to me again.  Like we used to.

Daniel denied telling Dennis anymore than I asked him to.  He’s a nice guy.  I trust him.  Whether he’s honest or not is irrelevant. Shane told me that I should watch what I say with Daniel.  Because he told Dennis something I told Daniel which was something told me. Typical drama bullshit.  I proposed the idea that Dennis went through Daniel’s phone when drinking.  He uses it for music when they do drink.  So, it’s open and easy to see.

Personally, I’m not sure I believe Dennis was going through his phone.  But, again, I also do believe Daniel is telling me the truth.  A third possibility is that Shane lied to me and was able to guess that I told Daniel.  Sort of a cold prediction where I admit he was correct despite him not knowing anything.

It’d make sense.  What he accused me of was far more than I actually told Daniel.

Anyways, looking back at when she blocked me.  It was… unusual.  Why did she block me at that time?  I was about to message her.  It’s possible that there is some supernatural bullshit going on and that supernatural bullshit caught on to me wanting to message her and pushed her to block me before I could.

Of course, blaming the unknown for a failed relationship is pretty outlandish.  I mean… I saw something the night she finished picking up her things.  She’s changed vastly.  There could be something else going on but I’m not sure.  Maybe she needs a priest.

I wouldn’t force her to see one.  I’m not religious.  Hell, I’m not even certain about what I saw.  I was in a fragile state.  The mind is poison… it’s possible it was all in my head.  Or I could just be in denial.  I’d have to experience it further.  Maybe if I come back, I’ll take some time to meditate.  Try to connect.  Don’t remember the name of the suicide victim from before.  I’ll have to look back in the conversation with Shane.  He told me his name.

Or maybe I spoke to him via voice chat.  Fuck.

Shane told me that they intend to get an apartment in Susanville.  I guarantee they won’t be able to afford that.  I hope they do. Their relationship won’t last and Dennis will have to move back in with his mom.  Maybe Esther, too.

The thing with Dennis is that he gets very offended kind of easily. Like, after enough time, he’ll actually become aggravated with someone.  Probably not his fault.  He’s something of an introvert. Doesn’t like to be around anyone for too long.  Esther will learn that.

Anyways, I just got a bunch of work with the bank done.  I didn’t go to Starbucks, but maybe I should call them.  This is all necessary to get my Kickstarter up and running.  April 1st is when it’ll end, I’ve decided.  Because I’m a fool.  Appropriate, I felt.  I’m calling Starbucks now.

They didn’t pick up.  Might be a problem with my phone.  But I was able to call Golden 1.  They shouldn’t be busy, this is the slowest hour.  Google confirmed that.  I’ll call again tomorrow.  I’ll try to wake up early and call between 10-12 and then again at about 3-4.  After this week, I’ll look for a different place to apply. I’ll need to print out my resume.

If I get asked about the blanks in between, I’ll let them know that I wrote a book and now I just need an editor.  Hopefully, that job will be able to afford me an editor as well as rent and food while I’m at my cousins.  It’s stressful to try to deal with that as well as the drama between myself, Dennis, and Esther.  I guess Shane, too. Daniel as well.

I guess I’ll get to editing my book today.  Or as much as I can. Before the Kickstarter goes live, I want it prepared for an actual editor.  I might change entire scenes is why.  Character names will change.  There would be a lot of differences.  Today, I’ll be productive.  I’ll end it with my sets and a shower.  Get back into the swing of things.

Adela also told me I wasn’t learning Spanish.  She’s right.  I haven’t been able to find time for Spanish.  I need to get Rosetta Stone working again.  Thing is it glitched out and made me redo an entire chapter.  Fucking.  Bullshit.  Was I doing badly?  I don’t know when I’ll be able to just speak Spanish with my cousin, but I understand what she says to Max.  Mostly through context and keywords.

Adela told me I looked skinnier.  I told her I lost ten pounds since I got here and she said, “Oh, I can see.  Did you lose it at your feet?” I watched as she tried to fight back a smile.  I told her I’m telling my mom and she laughed.

Alright, so…  Adela tried calling Starbucks and no one picked up.  Weird. Fate of the universe working against me?  Who knows.

For now, I spoke to her about Saturday.  I’ll make her breakfast.  She prefers her eggs scrambled.  I’m switching out my seasoned salt for Himalayan pink salt, the shit Esther got.  I have to twist it so it won’t add too much salt, not that the seasoned salt would be too overwhelming.  I’ll chop up spinach and put it in the eggs with onions and carrots.  No broccoli because Adela doesn’t like broccoli with eggs, which is unfortunate.  That broccoli will last a while, so I’m not concerned.  It’s a large bag and it’s frozen. Should have a decent shelf life.

Anyways, I’m going to get started on editing.  I won’t start on Rosetta Stone until I get some chapters done.  I’ll try to dedicate an hour a day to Rosetta Stone.  Rosetta Stone claims that it’ll take 200+ hours to learn everything so should be about 7 months.  Oof.  That’s a lot but with Adela, I’ll probably learn it faster.  I’ll finish at about May, probably.  Hopefully, I won’t need to worry too much about Rosetta Stone resetting my lessons again.  If so, I’ll just manually skip it.

Perhaps I should be more patient, but I have a lot coming at me at once.  Kickstarter, my book, Spanish, a job, losing weight, and perhaps more goals I can’t think of or haven’t shared yet.

When I can afford it, I’m legally changing my last name.  To Molinero. What’s on the book.  It’s more to reconnect with the heritage I denied myself when I was younger.  The best time to plant a tree is thirty years ago.  The second best time is right now.

It’s 4:26.  Time to work.  Later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds

I’m… looking for a good ambient song.  I went through my favorites.  Found that.  I feel… broken.  I hate music right now.  I’m sensitive and I can’t handle it.  I’m easily swayed.  I’m easily wrapped up.  Pushed.  And, apparently, easily forgotten.

But I don’t forget.  I could never forget.  I could only forgive.

I was looking for something without woods with a gentle melody. Something that I could fall asleep to.  Help me think. Unfortunately, I found something with lyrics.  Helping me think about my current misfortune.

Esther… if you’re reading this a year from now on Tumblr, just know that I’ve never stopped caring about you.  I know, I should have moved on but I’m not that kind of person.  Maybe if you’ve read all this.  Maybe if you know that I’m such an idiot.  Maybe then you’ll know what kind of person I am.  There are no lies in any of this. Only the truth, no matter how painful it is.

I want to die.  I would rather die.  This is the worst breakup I’ve ever had.

I was rethinking the night you left.  Or rather, I left you.  I should have stayed.  I should have ensured that you were brought back.  I should have reasoned with you.  You should have reasoned with me. Then again, I know now.  I know that Dennis is a piece of shit.  He is such a fucking monster and I never knew.

It’s… somewhat ironic.  I tend to be able to know a person just by being in their presence.  I can’t explain it but my gut tells me not to trust someone or that they’re a good person or whatever.  Thing is, I knew Dennis far longer than I started being able to judge people. My niece used to ask for my opinion on her boyfriends.  I gave it, then she told me, “But he’s so sweet.”  I was a pushover then. I told her go for it.  Needless to say, they didn’t last longer than a couple of weeks.

I guess I never learned to measure Dennis’s character.  I was socially inept at that age.  I just wanted people to like me.  I saw him as, “New friend?!” and wagged my tail.  He was such a dick to me.  Tried doing everything he could to get me to stop bothering him. Claimed to have had a restraining order.

Eventually, I grew on him.  Or, at least, so I thought.

What a fucking bastard.

Anyways, I found some flute music.  Supposed be Chinese, not sure if it is or isn’t to be honest.  Title is “Beautiful Chinese music Instrument Endlesslove 10 different songs” so maybe it is.  Maybe it isn’t, who knows?  Endlesslove, though… upsetting to see.  It’s been a pain in my ass thus far.  It’s not getting any better.

I had to get the notes from Esther.  These notes… she printed out my story.  Read it.  Gave notes.  She was going to be my editor.  I lied to my parents about her being somewhat professional because I really didn’t want my dad on my fucking back.  I’ve had a lot of problems with him.  One of the reasons I came to Houston.

I asked her to not talk about my book that much.  Keep it hidden from him.  Bless her heart, she tried but he asks so many questions.  He asks… inappropriate questions, too.  My dad has become less socially aware as of late.

Regardless, I need her notes. She read my story when I guess it was in pre-alpha?  Left a lot of notes.  She also said she wanted to see more action.  Kind of lead to the rewriting of a chapter.

I appreciate what she’s done. I tried to get Dennis to do it.  Said he couldn’t get into it.  I don’t think he even tried, to be honest.  I tried getting Jer to, as well.  He wouldn’t, of course.  Later on, he did offer again but it was too late.  I was going to have him edit after the edits with Esther.  But, things happen slowly.

Christ, it’s hard to go through the pages.  She got through 64… she did such a good job.

I asked Daniel to tell Esther that I wanted to thank her but couldn’t.  I know she won’t reopen lines because of it, but she’ll know I’m genuinely grateful. She… has bad spelling though.  Of course, I say that using spell check but… yeah.

She still did a good job.

She would ask when we would edit next but I was always too grumpy.  I guess I was more of a slave to my emotions then, even now.  So, we only got so far.  Now, I only have these notes on 64 pages.  They’re good notes… a lot of tips and advice. I guess I took her for granted.  I let her into so much more of my life than I thought. Than she thought.  I’ve never been like this after a breakup.  I’d have moved on by now.  But this is different.  This is so different. I hate it. Esther made me feel something I’ve never felt before.  True love?  Maybe.  Just not for her.

Ugh…  I…  I don’t hate Dennis.  I don’t.  He just aggravates me and everything I heard about him had a spin added to it.  It’s just… Dammit.

I forgave him.  For everything. We’re talking again.  I added him on Facebook.  We’re legitimately talking about the good ole times.  And of course… Esther admitted that she hates me.  You can see why.  During the discussion, Dennis pointed out more of the things I did which were not cool.  Before I continue, know that Esther had a troubled childhood.  Her stepfather was the reason she moved in with me.

Anyways, Dennis pointed out three things about Esther.  I knew she was cutting and did nothing about it.  The thing is, I expressed concern but it wasn’t concerning enough for her.  I didn’t want to be compared to Andrew, so I tried to be relaxed about it.

Here’s the thing.  Each time she cut, I blamed myself.  I felt HORRIBLE when she cut as if I failed her.  And I did.

She was also afraid of me because of my anger.  Which, is true.  Like Andrew, her Step-Dad, I was a very angry person.  I upset easily.  Road rage, that sort of thing.

And I would also make her flinch because I thought it was funny.  Yeah, I did.  It’s fucked up but I did.  I regret doing it.

I had a lot going on in my head. Not good things.  However, to those who are still following this, you’d see why she was angry to begin with.  Is that enough to hate me for?  Maybe.  All I could do is let her know I changed.  The rest is out of my hands.

This is comforting, strangely enough.  Didn’t get to work on my book but I got something else done.  Shane is angry with me because I said he called Esther a whore, and he did.  However, I can’t seem to find the message. Like it vanished or something.

Oh, shit.  Shane deleted it.  I just checked to see if it were possible.  Totally deleted without a trace.

That mother fucker…

Ah, well.  I’m pretty stressed but the drama between us is officially over.  I guess I could end the journal here, but who knows what’ll happen next.  I hope I’ve been completely honest about everything so whoever reads this would be more aware of what happened and can make their own opinion from it.

There were a lot of players in this particular game.  Daniel, of course, was relaying information to Dennis.  He admitted it.  Esther admitted it.  Feeling betrayed by Daniel, but it’s nothing personal.  Still, he lied to me.  Dennis lied to me, too.  But I feel he’s been more honest from our conversation.  Doesn’t mean he won’t lie to me later, but he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

This is the time to move on. He’ll add me on Skype probably and after a while, we can finally begin rebuilding our old relationship.  I can’t confirm that he’ll be completely honest with me at any point, but he swore he was trying to stop lying.  I want to believe him.

I guess… I was very angry at him.  I don’t hate Dennis… I don’t hate anyone.  There are a few people who’ve earned my ire, but he… well, he and I can work past that.  A lot is changing.  Life is a river and you’re dragged by it.  When you find yourself at foreign banks, then try to make due with what you have.

Still.  I want Esther to talk to me again.  She just… won’t talk to me.  I know why she removed me.  Coincidence.  I was told to tell Randy to tell them that they’re crap.  So he told them I told him that they’re crap.  So, she removed me because she was angry with what I was doing.

She had a right to be.  Perhaps she’ll get over it.

I really don’t feel like doing anything.  I could edit, but I lost my drive.  That was a lot of emotion.  It was for the greater good, but it was a lot of emotion nonetheless.  And I just discovered that it takes 3 days to verify my identity and bank account.  Fuck.

Oh, well.  Now that I’m talking to Dennis, Daniel doesn’t have to keep reporting on me. Dennis will want to know what it’s about.  You know, the me telling Daniel not to trust him.  Yeah, I’ll let him know.  There is a lot I’ll have to explain, but there will be time for it.

I feel… bad.  I hated Dennis so much, at least I thought I did.  I mean… I don’t think he really apologized.  But I forgave him nonetheless.  I just wish he were a better friend from the beginning.  Let me know things were getting bad between Esther and me… then again, Esther told him to be hush hush about it.  Something else was that he spoke about me a lot to Esther.  Like he’d point at places and say, “Oh, we did this thing over there.”

Yeah… he wasn’t the best of friends… but he appreciated my friendship more than I knew.  That made him a better friend than I actually gave him credit for.  With Esther, I saw all the good.  With Dennis, I saw all the bad.

Ironic.  With Esther, she saw all the bad.  With Dennis, he saw all the good.

I’m going to watch some videos.  Then I’ll go to bed.  Tired.  Emotionally drained.  I feel comforted, don’t get me wrong… but I also strangely feel… defeated?

Good night.

[roodiaries]

Sydneyside

Foreword: This blog post is divided into sub-sections to make it seem less long ;)

Residing on Sydney's North Shore: The Compartment Life

I arrived back in Sydney in late January 2017 with a vague resolve to get a house, job, girlfriend, life, etc. on a nice comfy, non-committal, short-term basis. I haven't spent more than a year in one accommodation since I was 18 in fact.

House was the first objective, even before a guarantee of a stable income and some rapidly dwindling funds, post-Asia/East Coast travel. I spent a week of searching high and low for an affordable place with my own room and not in the back end of beyond. I visited numerous dull-sounding (and looking) suburbs, such as Lidcombe, Ashfield, Arncliffe and Auburn. I did also check one out in Woolloomoolloo. That would have been a cool place to call home, and Russell Crowe lives there!

I settled for a shared-room in the north shore suburb of Willoughby, and sacrificed my single-room agenda because there was a giant partition in this room (a deal-breaker and meaning I had privacy and my own corner), and the room-mate seemed a good fit: a shift-working nurse from The Philippines named Andrew, and not a major party guy. The 'landlord' – actually renting out the place himself and sub-letting it to us – was a Korean wing-chun instructor called Sam who worked in the studio area at the front of the house, but lived elsewhere with his family. There was also a single room near ours, where a guy from Taiwan called Dean was staying. I regret not hanging out with those three more often, but our schedules clashed and everyone was always busy. In 5 months (before Dean left), we managed to eat dinner together a total of once! The lack of a communal area or large kitchen kind of prevented much socialising anyway, and I mostly just saw Andrew (but even sharing a room, I wouldn't see him for up to a week at a time). It was functional and comfortable, but not social.

Pullman Prestige

I got a job at the Pullman Sydney Hyde Park Hotel in the Food & Beverage Department in late February. Like my apartment and car, I found the job on Gumtree – the perennial lifesaver! I immediately loved the job, and it was certainly my favourite one so far in Australia. I ended up staying the entire 6 months that I was permitted with the WH visa. I liked the prestige of wearing a tie and uniform at work, and being in a fancy, air-conditioned establishment right in the heart of the city. It was my first taste of hospitality, and I particularly enjoyed the team atmosphere, with staff bonds forged via countless high-pressure stressful-but-funny situations,

e.g.:

Having just two hours to transform two rooms, including the main events room from a day conference into a giant dinner party complete with dance floor, stage, hypnotists and countless decorations, while trying to manage the three-inch high flood of reeking viscous sewage in the pantry next door

Anzac Day when every room was full with lunch events and tonnes of staff were needed (getting paid double-time = $49 per hour), listening to stories of veterans and their relatives (but later that day I was in the wars myself when I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle!)

Numerous sports teams (AFL and NRL) eating relentlessly and drinking unstoppably, and all the constant clean-ups and late-night stays; listening to their conversations was surprisingly boring

When outlandish day-conference guests and clients rampaged illegally through the uncleaned, bombshell-like pantry and store-rooms, clambering dangerously over furniture

Being behind the pop-up bar during massive rushes, and having my first exposure to lemon and lime bitters (which I learned to make), as well as pouring techniques for wine and beer

The classic 'no cutlery or glasses ready' scenario right before a big event and the rush to find everything with not enough staff or time, making do with the wrong types

Lorenzo not getting along with the rest of the staff, tickling you while you carried stuff and refusing to do the vacuuming because it was beneath him! “Not the hero we deserve, nor the one we need.” But also a legend in his own right

Mardi Gras night in March – our hotel was the starting point for the whole half-a-million-strong parade: as extravagant floats passed by, we served drinks and canapes to numerous drag queens and divas (with requests including putting a sausage roll between their boobs, “can I take you home tonight?” and much more, producing plenty of awkward laughter and lack of a clever response from myself)

Arguments with the narky banquet chefs: “where's your supervisor!?” Plenty of tut-tuts if you couldn't carry three plates or were not on time, but all good fun in the end (I think)

Some shifts in breakfast or room service: plenty of awkward customer exchanges – e.g. saying “have a good day!” and then finding they were just getting up to get food; trying to choose between saying “you're welcome,” “that's OK,” “no problem” and “no worries,” and then mixing them up: “that's no worries, welcome!” Also when the owners of the building were in town, and I took away the coffee of Wong Kan Seng, the former Deputy Prime Minister of Singapore, before he was finished (almost died of mortification); and some good times there too, especially working with Joshua (the only other Englishman who also started on the same day as me), as well as Steve or Anne Sophie in room service

Particular mention goes to the banquets team I worked with the most: Bibek with his sudden high-pitched voice when speaking to customers (“room service”) and the infamous brown bag; Jess, the Aussiest girl in the hotel who always helped me out patiently while never taking shit from nobody; the supervisor Jona who hired me, taught me the ropes and was always keen for after-work beers; Guthrie with his laid-back attitude and film chats; and management trainee Sy whose random soundbites echo in my head to this day (“get to the choppers,” “OK team, it's show time,” “time to disappear”), always facilitating an atmosphere of fun and nonsense in the face of some overwhelming shifts.

Since I still work for the same company in a different location right now, I won't bitch too much, but plenty of staff at Pullman Sydney were not happy and began quitting over various issues, including management and lack of shifts. Money often seemed to be favoured over staff (or customers for that matter) with shifts regularly cut and annoying initiatives to upsell more stuff (the guests don't want a bloody extra croissant, leave them alone FFS). Lack of sufficient staff for a shift was also a constant blight, but in general you had a lot of freedom and variety working in banquets, and were often given considerable responsibility, and the experience was definitely a positive one.

A Brief Commentary of Sydney as a City

Overall, I like Sydney a lot. I prefer it to Melbourne, Canberra and definitely Adelaide. However, it’s a city of two halves. On the one hand, you have the dingy, dull, congested, prosaic, worn-out, uninventive, crappy, commercial-and-business-dominated city centre, which has a surprisingly high East Asian population (it feels like 50% Asian, not that that’s a bad thing; just unexpected). On the other hand, you have the stunning Sydney Harbour & Parramatta River (together known as Port Jackson) with its unending bays and natural/man-made sights; and the relaxed coastal suburbs with further wondrous views west over the city and east out to the vast Pacific Ocean. Public transport is second to none, and the Opal card makes travelling relatively cheap and convenient (by bus, train, tram and boat). Going out is expensive, but there are always cheaper hidden places, and happy hours provide good value for money: the beer and bars improve exponentially when you escape the CBD. Like much of Australia, it feels very suburban, middle-class and family-oriented: sometimes a little too clean and organised for my tastes (though I never visited notorious parts like Blacktown or Mount Druitt). It also has access to some incredible nature and national parks in all directions. It’s somewhere I’m glad I lived, but not somewhere I particularly need to live in the future. It lives up to the hype in many ways, but from my perspective, it can’t match the major European cities for history, architecture, food or atmosphere.

Social Life a.k.a The Pub & A Few Other Things

I had three main friends outside of work: Tatjana and Eisen from my farm work days in Renmark, and Mark from my uni exchange in Singapore. I spent many sessions out in Sydney's array of bars: those at Circular Quay and Darling Harbour which were pricier but had wondrous views while imbibing copious schooners of sweet wholesome 'cold ones'. These included but were not limited to the Bavarian Bier Cafe (lovely German beers for $5 at happy hour), Pontoon, Sweeney's, Hotel Harry's, Lord Roberts, The Clock, The Palace Hotel, Bald Rock Hotel and all other bars in Balmain (where Mark lived and our favourite suburb, full of homely pubs). I was sad when all three of them left in June/July.

I don't want to try and seem cool by boasting about drinking sessions (I could never claim to be cool), but I did not do a lot else outside of work: this was due to the physical and mental toll some of the long shifts (especially night ones) took on me, leading to a reluctance to do any other exercise, and the unpredictability of my schedule meaning I couldn't reliably sign up to many social clubs. However, I did get out and about to enjoy some fantastic city walks along Sydney's coastal suburbs: Botany Bay, Spit Bridge to Manly, Bondi to Coogee, the Royal National Park, and the Blue Mountains to the west. I also enjoyed a four-day holiday in April to Queensland to visit Fraser Island, the world's largest sand island and a natural adventure playground full of intriguing rainforest, a highway on the beach, sea swimming pools, freshwater perched lakes, and lots of dingoes.

In addition, I occasionally worked for my Romanian friend Costi, who helped people move house in his spare time. One extremely memorable, epic job was during the hottest day of the Australian summer, when it was a ridiculous 43ºC in February: we drove 3 hours over the Blue Mountains to the town of Bathurst to help a Bangladeshi family move to Sydney; their new apartment had several flights of stairs which we had to carry everything up by hand, sweating profusely in the mean time; then we had to drive back to Bathurst (so 9 hours of driving that day) because the neighbour also wanted to use our van to move house, so we slept on his mattress, then woke up very early and began packing his stuff into the van. His furniture was way too big, so we had to drive to Sydney with half of it, unload it, and then drive back again to Bathurst, pack the rest and unload again at his new house, finishing at about 6am on Monday morning. It was a full 48-hour working weekend, including 18 hours of travelling and a great deal of physical work: I would name it as one of the hardest, most intense single shifts I've ever done. However, it was made a lot more enjoyable by the company of Costi, who drove the whole time, never bitched or complained and maintained a calm, good-natured demeanour throughout the weekend, making it feel like a doable team effort for which I was well-compensated. A legend and a role model, that's for sure.

Riding the Bus

A boring topic to write about in my blog, but taking public transport on average twice per day over 7 months in Sydney provides one with a window into a city's soul. I loved crossing the Sydney Harbour Bridge every day to and from work or social events, basking in epic sunsets and sunrises over the incredible Sydney Harbour while jamming to the classic tunes (see Crossing the Bridge playlist below for details).

-The time the bus driver didn't know how to get to the Harbour Bridge because of roadworks and shouted to the passengers at large to ask for directions!

-The time the driver yelled at a guy to come to the front because he supposedly hadn't tapped on his Opal card, but it turned out that he had: the incident had a tense racial undertone because he was the only black guy on the bus...

-When the driver of the last bus of the night couldn't pull up at the last stop before the bridge due to taxis obstructing the stop; a girl was waiting and screaming desperately for him to stop – and even I (Captain Quiet On Public Transport) – shouted to the driver to stop somewhere! He didn’t.

-The drunken night bus back to Artarmon after a late shift: two guys that had just met for the first time, the younger, cockier and skinnier of whom constantly disagreed bluntly with everything the much older, bigger guy said, leading to a confrontational end to the conversation (this journey was always followed by an unpleasant 25-minute uphill walk through the lost lonely suburbs where not a soul stirs and spider webs hang over the path ready to snag an unsuspecting face passing through).

Thanks for taking the time to read,

Scroll down for photos and previous blog posts,

Oliver