#and then later being like oh phew it wasn't as bad as I thought

[joyridingmp3]

just got back from my coworker/friends house. she's so cool and nice. we engaged in so much psychoanalysis together and she was so nice to me talking about things. she called me the wish people would love to make and gave me one of her art paintings to take home <3

[doctor-dusk]

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.

the best way to sort things out with your teacher.

warnings: oral and fingering (f receiving), age gap (not mentioned), a bit of angst, fluff too. 

word count: 4.5k

part. 1

for those who were waiting (a total of three people lol), part 2 is finally here. sorry for the delay, i really had a hard time finishing it, so i'm sorry if it sucks :')

one week has passed since mr. turner was at your apartment.

and in the meantime, you only saw him once on campus. 

he was like a shadow of a rat, sneaking through the rooms and holes, scared of being caught. 

yeah, scared. who ever thought that such a self-confident teacher could act like this?

as long as he hates to admit, he was acting like a fucking rat. he didn't want to look at you, didn't want to fall in temptation again. he didn’t want to see how hurt you were that he was ignoring you like this. 

oh, and how hurt you were. 

on the one hand, you understood. you knew it was wrong, that it was unconventional. but it happened. and you couldn't shake his image no matter how many times you tried. just as you couldn't help but look for him either. 

the only time you saw him during the week, right before you had a class with him, was when you were at the campus cafeteria. you were drinking some macchiato and reading an article.

you were so distracted that you didn't even notice that a few meters away, outside the cafeteria, exactly in the middle of an intersection between one corridor and another, he was looking at you. 

surreptitiously, obviously. especially because he couldn't keep his gaze fixed because one of his colleagues was talking to him. he nodded, looked at her and exchanged a few words about what he had understood. but his eyes always stopped on you.

oh, such a dickhead. 

“so, what are you doing next weekend, al?" she asked him, watching him shake his head.

“not sure. maybe rewatch breaking bad or something.” he shrugged, turner didn't really like making plans for the weekend, precisely because he liked the idea of ​​staying at home.

“phew, so boring.” she answered him. he looked away, seeing the exact moment you looked around a little, which forced him to look back at his colleague. “tell you what, my cousin is coming to spend a few days here, doing some tourism in the city, etc. we can arrange a dinner, i think you'll like her.”

“i don’t know, lilian.’’ he simply responded. he wasn't very interested.

''c’mon, al. you've been divorced for a long time, it's time for you to find someone else.''

alex knew that lilian didn't say that out of spite. she just worried about him being alone. i mean, single. it didn't mean he wasn't capable of getting someone for one-night stand and leave without having to report back the next day. oh, that happened often.

‘’i’m fine, thanks for your concern.’’ he forced a smile. he didn’t want to be rude to her. 

and even if he went to a possible dinner, met her cousin, maybe they could fuck later in his flat, would that be enough?

would he want to wake up next to her the next morning? would he want to make her breakfast, or take her for a walk in the park? would he be slowly dying just to see her again? would he look every corner possible looking for her just to catch a glimpse of her walking?

he didn't think so. he knew better.

‘’but i'll think about it, alright? i'll let you know if i change my mind.’’ he replied again.

‘’we’ve been here before.’’ she laughed through her nose, patting his shoulder. it wasn’t the first time that alex said it. and he rarely changed his mind. ‘’but think about it, she seems like enough fun for you.’’

he gave a nod, excusing himself right after, saying he had to be in class now.

on the other side, you looked around once more. you didn’t know exactly what you were looking for. maybe your mind was so dizzy that you were having a hard time paying attention to what you were reading. it was already the third time you were reading that same paragraph.

and then, you saw him. 

walking down the hallway as if in a hurry. fingers wrapped tightly around the handle of the brown leather briefcase. his fluffy hair was a bit messy, but it wasn't like he needed to fix it. in fact, it suited him.

he looked thoughtful. in fact, he always seemed that way. as if he was always caught in a chain of thoughts, always serious and methodical. but you were still able to see some softness amid the hard lines of expression on that face.

you followed him with your eyes, hoping he would look back at you, even if it was for a millisecond. you wanted that adrenaline rush from those ebony eyes in your direction, wanted to feel that warmth as if your body was on fire from the inside out. you just wanted his attention. you just wanted him.

but no, he didn't look back at you. 

he fought until the last second. he didn't want to give you hope. or give himself some hope. he couldn’t.

and there you are. on his class. sitting on your usual spot.

turner didn't bother to prepare an elaborate class. he wasn't in the mood for that. all he did was explain the topic in twenty minutes and ask the class to write an essay, pretending to be busy scribbling on some assessment tests he had in his briefcase.

the whole class remained like this, glancing when the other wasn't looking. he really tried not to look up at you, but it was difficult. you had his eyes on you the whole time, so it wouldn’t be any different now.

class ended early. turner dismissed the class and got up to erase what he wrote on the board. he heard the footsteps towards the door, some ‘’until next time’’ of some students, who he responded to by saying the same thing, or just with a nod.

but somehow, he knew you're still there. he felt your presence there, like something stuck in his teeth.

and indeed you were there. you hadn't moved a muscle since you put your stuff in your backpack, just waiting for the classroom to be empty so you could have a moment with him or try to have one. you wanted to understand, at least.

‘’class is over, miss.’’ he said, still with his back to you, finishing erasing the board.

‘’why are you ignoring me?’’ you asked directly, your eyes were staring at your hands in your lap, but lifted when you saw that he stopped erasing the board.

‘’i'm not ignoring ya'. we're talking now, aren't we?’’ he replied and felt like punching himself in the face. why didn't he know how to give you a normal answer? an answer you deserve.

‘’you know what i'm talking about. you... walked away.’’ you said, seeing him turn to look at you. for the first time he had the courage to look at you. he felt melancholy and longing when looking at you.

he was silent for a moment. he didn't want it to be like this. he felt he was to blame for this. and he could barely bear to see the look in your eyes.

‘’i'm sorry, darling. i didn't mean to.’’ he said, leaning his lower back on the edge of his desk. ‘’i'm just…’’

you stood up when you saw he was struggling with his own words. you take a few steps, getting in front of him. oh, how you miss this closeness.

‘’you just what?’’ you asked. you didn't want to pressure him, but you wanted to understand why he was running away. ‘’i know that wasn't the most ethical thing in the world, but…’’

‘’it wasn't, but it was good. i liked it, i really liked it.’’ he said, feeling his saliva go down his throat like needles. you felt your heart beating like a drum. ‘’but…’’ 

he looked down, avoiding your gaze, but you cupped his face with your hands, it was like your hands were made to fit in there. the bone structure of his face was perfect. you made him look at you, feeling his hands close around your wrists, but it wasn't like he was going to pull you away. he loved your touch, how soft your skin was.

‘’you don't need to be nervous. we can talk about this. i just want to understand you and what you're feeling.’’

he felt frozen in place. maybe because he had never thought he would come across something like this, especially with you. he felt vulnerable, but he felt comfortable with you. he felt safe.

‘’i don't think this is the best place to talk about this.’’ he murmured, his thumbs tracing circles on your wrists, his touch as soft as a piano note.

you nodded. someone might come through the open door and check on you both. it was a bit risky. but you needed to sort it out. it was killing you inside. 

“i can come to your place if you want. at 7pm. maybe 8pm.” he said when he noticed that you were silent for too long. 

you kept silent for a little more. you were afraid he was lying. that he was just saying this so you would let him go, and ultimately you would be left waiting for a knock on your door that will never come.

“i want to solve this as much as you do." he said when he noticed your hesitation, rubbing his thumbs on your wrists again, his touch was very smooth. “i'll be there, darlin’. i promise.”

“okay.” you smiled softly, your fingers rubbed his jaw one last time before pulling away. you wanted to kiss him, but it doesn't feel right at the moment. 

you picked up your backpack, looking at him one last time before leaving the classroom, making sure he looked at you until the moment you disappeared from his field of vision.

it was already past 8pm. turner simply hated tuesdays because he was limited to spending the entire day on campus, including at night when he had to teach a single class to an extra class.

and more than that, he hated the idea of ​​making you wait when he promised you he would be there.

he was racing against time, hoping you hadn’t given up. and well, no matter how late it was, you were still there, glancing at your door while pretending to be entertained by an old western movie. still clinging to the slightest hope that he would show up.

and when you heard the four knocks on your door, everything seemed to disappear. your feet acted on automatic, running to the door before he could even think of a way to apologize. you opened the door, finally seeing him there in front of you, a sight for sore eyes. like always.

he took a moment to absorb the relief at seeing that you were willing to see him before opening his mouth to say something.

‘’listen, i’m so sorry-’’

you didn't let him finish, clashing your lips against his with a voracity that even you didn't know where it came from, your mind wasn't acting with all its sanity. but who said you had sanity around him?

without thinking twice, he deepened the kiss, kissing you gently, almost reverently, moving his lips against yours in a slow move while your hands cupped his face, feeling his short beard tickling your palms, but you liked that feeling. you parted the kiss, for a moment thinking that this wasn't a good idea at first.

‘’i'm sorry, i... couldn’t help it-’’

he interrupted you, kissing you again, his lips parting so he could slide his tongue into your mouth in a deep, almost sensual way. his kiss tasted like black coffee, just like you already imagined. one of his hands resting on the back of your head while the other rested on the small of your back, bringing you closer to him. it was like you were some kind of addiction he didn’t know he had. or he knew, but he didn't want to admit it out loud.

‘’class took longer than expected, i didn't meant to make you wait.’’ he said after breaking the kiss, his breath coming out in soft pants as your hand reached for the door for you to close it with a light push.

‘’but you're here, aren't you?’’ you let out a shy, maybe a pathetic smile for thinking about it. you had him there with you, the man who invaded your most erotic dreams and made you think about things that you would never say out loud, not even to your best friend.

“i am.” 

another kiss unfolded, you didn't care what you needed to talk about, if you had something to work out. all you thought about was him, how enveloping his kiss was and how his hands seemed to touch you in the right places as if he knew you like the back of his hand.

you walked backwards, still trapped and intoxicated in the kiss, feeling your back touching the arm of the sofa, making you stumble gently.

‘’sorry, i should learn to control myself.’’ he said, scrunching his nose, but you shook your head.

‘’i don't want you to control yourself, believe me.’’ you said, letting your thumb slide over his jawline. such a perfect jawline, could cut diamonds.

he looked at you, a slight smile appeared on his lips. somehow, he liked what you said. the way you said. 

“you sure?” he asked, his hands finding your hips, his fingers feeling the smooth fabric of your dress. he was dying to be able to touch you, feel you, taste you. but he wouldn't do anything you didn't want to.

you nodded, moving your hands up to the back of his neck, feeling the fluffy and silky strands of his hair tangling on your fingers when you pulled him back to another kiss. now your tongue was more eager to explore the depths of his mouth, bringing him closer to you, molding your bodies as you felt like you’re slowly laying down on your couch with his body hovering above yours.

his breath was ragged when you felt his kiss moving to the corner of your mouth, trailing down to your jaw and neck, making you shiver from head to toe, your eyes closed immediately as he spread wet kisses along the length of your neck. he nibbled softly, as if he was afraid to use his mouth.

‘’you can do it, you know.’’ you whispered to him, letting him know that he could mark your skin if he wanted to.

‘’i was afraid you wouldn't let me.’’ he answered, letting his warm tongue lick your skin, making you let out a soft groan. ‘’your skin is so soft, i really don't want to leave marks that you'll need to use two liters of concealer to hide.’’

you chuckled, your hand moved to the nape of his neck so you could look at him.

‘’don't worry about it. i've been waiting for this for too long to care about hiding it.’’ you replied, feeling your cheeks flushing from admitting it out loud to him.

his heart beat faster, his mouth went slightly dry as he looked at you, as if somehow, he was searching for the sincerity in your eyes. then, he smiled.

‘’so can i continue?’’ he asked, shifting his body a bit, his knees resting on the floor, both of his hands resting on your sides, feeling your curves. you nodded, biting your lip slightly as he went back to kissing your neck, moving down to your collarbone. he wanted to take his time with you, to taste you enough so that he could feel your sweet taste for days in his mouth.

you were so intoxicated, so inert and deeply focused on feeling his touches and kisses that you didn't even realize his head was right between your legs, his hands caressing your thighs, but without invading under your dress. as much as he wanted to ravish you there, he wanted you to feel safe and comfortable with him.

''can i?'' he asked, his eyes looking up at you, almost in a pleading way. if you weren't thirsty for him, you would have a mental breakdown seeing that man on his knees between your legs, practically begging to eat you out.

you not only agreed, but also shifted your body a little, your hands going to your hips so your fingers tugged the waistband of your panties, pulling them down your legs. he watched your every move, as if he were mesmerized by the sight of you taking off your panties, throwing them aside. well, in fact, he was mesmerized.

his kisses started on your left knee, building the anticipation for both of you. the kisses slowly moved further up, reaching your inner thigh, he loved feeling how warm your skin was and how you shivered with each little ministration of his.

and oh, how you were looking forward to this. your fingers tightened the hem of your dress, trying to dispel your nervousness, and of course it didn't go unnoticed by him. he knew how to read you so well, it was almost ridiculous.

‘’are you alright?’’ he asked, his cheek resting on your thigh, his eyes searching for yours. he could already feel your scent filling his nostrils, but he was more concerned with your comfort.

‘’yeah, i'm just…’’  you muttered, pressing your lips together, trying to think of how to explain it to him. but he already knew.

‘’i know, baby. i know.’’ he smiled gently, his hands reaching yours, covering your closed fists, his thumbs making an almost invisible caress. ‘’i'll be gentle, i promise. i just want to make you feel good.’’

you felt happy. relieved, actually. he was being understanding, he would never want to do something you didn't want to do. he was willing to go at your pace, to let you know how much you were desired by him in the slowest and most sensual way possible. his hands that were on yours tightened a little, moving up a little so that you could raise the hem of your dress since your fingers were tightening the fabric of the dress. slowly, your skin was being exposed to him, your body was heating up more as his eyes memorized that part of you that was always covered by your clothes.

his hands moved to your inner thighs, silently forcing you to open your legs a little more for him as he returned to kissing your thigh, moving closer and closer to your center to the point where you felt his hot breath against your sensitive skin, making you clench around nothing already.

when his lips reached your throbbing and needy cunt, it felt like heaven. you were soaking wet, and he couldn't control himself, his tongue sticking out to taste you, licking your slit from bottom to top, from your dripping entrance to your clit, where he wrapped his lips around the sensitive bud, sucking it gently.

‘’taste so fucking good.’’ he hummed, more to himself than to you. he was dying to taste you, to have you like this, so he wanted to enjoy you like you were a banquet and he was a starving man.

he eats you out slowly, paying attention to your every reaction as his eyes look up, searching your face. but you had your head thrown back, your eyes closed so tightly that it took you a while to get your vision focused when you opened them again to look at him. 

‘’m-mr. turner…’’ you tried to say, your voice comes out as a meow, begging for more.

‘’shhh, it's okay. you taste so good, can't believe i had to wait so long for this.’’ he mumbled again, bringing his thumb to your clit, feeling it pulsing against his digit, circling gently as his tongue lapped your wet folds.

in no time, you're a babbling mess, mumbling incomprehensible words that he was loving to hear, as long as he knew you're enjoying yourself, and better yet, that he was the one who was making you feel this way. your right leg moved a bit, your calf resting on his shoulder as he simply devoured you, alternating between sucking, biting and licking, gathering your juices.

he moved his hand, his thumb still pressed on your swollen clit, but now his fingers threatened to invade your entrance, his mouth sucked the sensitive skin of your groin as you writhed in pleasure on the couch in your living room. his middle finger entered you with immense ease, sliding in and filling you until you felt the knuckle of his hand pressing against you. you could feel his finger going back and forth at a considerable speed, but you wanted more. so much more.

‘’one more?’’ he asked you, feeling your hand on the back of his head. you nodded eagerly, feeling your walls contracting when he added his ring finger, now both pumping in and out of you, curling up, massaging that spongy spot that makes you roll your eyes because of the pleasure.

he moved up, yearning to feel your lips against his, kissing you deeply, swallowing your moans as he felt himself getting harder inside his pants, listening to your cries mixed with the squishy sound your pussy made as his fingers moved in an intense rhythm.

‘’you're so beautiful, so beautiful…’’ he whispered to you, kissing the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, feeling the salty taste of the tear you let out as you were feeling so much pleasure it was almost unbearable.

‘’i’m close…’’ you whispered to him, your eyes locking with his as he nodded, keeping up the pace. your words really moved him. having you so completely surrendered to him is better than any thought he could ever imagine. his thumb worked relentlessly on your clit, not slowing down until you're totally satisfied.

‘’yeah, let go for me, princess, let me feel you.’’ he encouraged you, kissing just below your ear. all of this pushed you to the edge, your hips bucking up as you clenched hard around his fingers, a few strangled moans and whimpers coming out of your mouth as you came on his fingers, milking his digits like the purest nectar.

he kept pumping his fingers really slowly this time, letting you come down from your high as your breathing returned to normal and you blinked a few times to get your bearings. you've never felt this good before. he touched you and made you feel things you never imagined you could feel.

‘’are you okay, angel?’’ he asked silently, hoping he hadn't hurt you or overwhelmed you too much.

‘’yeah, yeah... i'm feeling so good.’’ you smiled lazily to him, watching the fingers of his free hand brush a few strands of hair from your forehead, your cheeks were as red as a tomato. but oh, you're really feeling so good.

he slowly withdrew his fingers, your sore cunt gaping around nothing. he brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting you on his tongue as if he didn't want to miss a thing.

‘’is it that good?’’ you chuckled as he hummed and licked his fingers clear.

‘’dear lord, you don't know how much. i could keep my face buried in your pussy all day.’’ he chuckled. you liked his contrast between being respectful, but completely unfiltered in his words.

you laughed, your legs were too limp for you to move, so he carefully moved to the side, joining you on the couch. his lips were still glistening with your wetness.

‘’can i... return the favor?’’ you asked him, watching his eyes move to look down at you.

‘’you look too wrecked now. we can save this for another day, hm?’’ he suggested. he was hard, holding on as long as possible.

‘’but i want you to feel good too.’’ you replied and he smiled, touched that you think of his pleasure too. his hand moved to your face, his fingers squeezed your cheeks, making you pout.

‘’i already feel good with you like this. don't worry about me. we have time for this.’’ he reassured you. you smiled softly.

‘’do we?’’ you asked, your eyes flickered with hope. this meant he was implying that you would continue what you had. whatever it was.

‘’i mean... if you want it too.’’ he muttered, somehow feeling insecure about not knowing if you were on the same page as him. suddenly, he remembered why he had run away from you before. you saw his expression change, taking his hand on yours. ‘’i'm sorry. i just... as long as i want it, i don't want to.’’

‘’why not?’’ you asked him, seeing him avoiding your gaze.

‘’i don't want to ruin you. to… you know. you're young and i don't want to ruin your life.’’ he said, for the first time letting his insecurities show. he felt like he could be honest with you. he needed to. ‘’you have your whole life ahead of you, places to go, people to see. you don't want to be tied down to an old divorced professor like me.’’

you blinked a few times, letting his words sinking inside your mind. and then, you smiled at him, feeling that you had gained a little more strength to sit next to him, your shoulders touching.

‘’silly.’’ you called him out, making him look at you. ‘’i've been wanting you for so long. i don't care if it's going to 'ruin' me. i want it too. i want to live this with you, for as long as we're allowed.'' you answered him in whisper, as if it was a secret you were sharing. 

‘’i just think i'm a little too messy for you.’’ he admitted, feeling you running your thumb on his face, your skin brushing against the little bag under his eye.

‘’don't worry, i'm a little messy too. we can live with it.’’ you reassured him, making him let out a humorless laugh. he smiled to you, his lips brushing against yours softly as he held you close.

you stayed there for a long time. longer than you could count. you were so comfortable in his presence that you couldn't help but fall asleep, feeling his fingers massaging your scalp in a delicate, almost reverent way.

when he looked at his wristwatch, it was late. really late. he wished he could stay, but he knew he couldn't, at least not now. he also didn't know if you would want him to stay. very carefully, he moved his body away, being meticulous so as not to wake you. he saw a folded blanket on the armchair next to the sofa, unfolding it and covering you carefully so you wouldn't feel cold.

he watched you sleep for a while longer, his heart heaving at having to leave you, but at the same time fluttering at seeing you so serene, at knowing that he had you, even if it was only for a short time. he gave you a kiss on the forehead, his lips lingering for a little while before he slowly pulled away.

and then, he was gone.

[isatswap]

(full game in stars and time spoiler)

Better than a Quest

TTOS version of Really? He doesn't need your help with a quest? from ISAT

(You follow Mirabelle around for a while... Going through Dormont, then the forest, until...)

(A field?...)

(There's nothing around...)

(What could she possibly need?...)

Loop: "So, what do you need me to do?"

Mirabelle: Huh? Oh, yeah... Mirabelle: ...Lay down with me?

(Huh! Interesting.)

(You lay down.)

Loop: "Aaaand?..."

Mirabelle: And now.... Mirabelle: Look up!

(You do as she asks...)

(Stars, stars, stars, all around you.)

(You inhale sharply.)

Mirabelle: You know, when you asked me if I needed help earlier, I wasn't sure what to say! Mirabelle: I don't really need help with anything... And I think im all ready for tomorrow. Mirabelle: But I saw you run around and help everybody, and that looked super fun! And I thought... Mirabelle: "Loopie is making sure to help everyone, but I just wanna hang out with them!" Mirabelle: And so, heh, this is it! That's all I want you to do today! Let's just hang!!!

(Huh. That's....nice?)

(...)

Loop: (Wait.) "Why stars?"

Mirabelle: Oh! Mirabelle: Um... Mirabelle: So, you know how you say this word when you are annoyed or something bad happens? Mirabelle: I don't know what this language is, but I also heard King use it, before I left the House! Mirabelle: Back then I thought it was a swear word or something, like "crab"! But then I realised I could just ask King himself and... he told me it means "stars"! Mirabelle: And like him, you seem to know a lot about the sky! You once talked about the sun and the planets like you REALLY knew what you were talking about! Mirabelle: And also! When we spent nights outside, you'd spend most of it looking at the night sky. Mirabelle: And I thought that was interesting, because I've never thought about what was up there! None of my peers seemed to do so too, actually. But, um... Mirabelle: I thought, maybe, you'd like to see the stars? Together? Or just in general?

(...)

Mirabelle: Oh, also, you yourself...

(!!!)

(You freeze.)

Mirabelle: You kinda look like a star! In that cloak, at least.

(You breathe out. Right. Your spikes are a bit visible under the hood. She doesn't actually know.)

Mirabelle: Oh no, is that bad? Is it actually like a swear word, where you don't actually like stars and they are bad and gross??? Did I call you bad and gross? Did I step in it?....

(Oh. You've been silent for too long!)

Loop: "..." Loop: "No, you didn't step in it."

Mirabelle: Oh, phew! Got a bit scared, hehe. Though I should've asked King about it more...

Mirabelle: Anyway, I've also heard from King about seeing stuff in the stars, sometimes! Like, pictures! Mirabelle: They are called... uh... conste-something??

Loop: "Constellations."

Mirabelle: Constellations! Yes, that! Um, do you know some?

(You look up at the stars.)

(The stars look back silently.)

(You don't recognize any of them.)

Loop: "No, I don't know any."

Mirabelle: Hm... Mirabelle: ...You say I didn't step in it.... Mirabelle: Loopie...

(...You really like stars. And as Mira noted, you do look a lot like them. They are kind of... a family to you, even.) (You wish to tell that to her, but now is not the time.)

Loop: (Change the subject.) "Haha, no, you're fine, hahaha!"

Loop: "Tell me something?"

Mirabelle: Oh, sure! But what?

Loop: "Something about yourself, maybe?"

Mirabelle: Hm...Oh, I know! Mirabelle: So, you know I'm from here, right? Lived in Dormont, then moved to the House, all that jazz. Mirabelle: Spent almost my whole life here! Mirabelle: I liked living here. It was nice to know all the people in the town. And I liked being a Housemaiden very much! Mirabelle: i liked helping people out, Changing myself, learning new stuff... Mirabelle: But, um.... Mirabelle: I haven't told almost anything about the later parts of my life within the House to you all. Mirabelle: And that is because, at some point.... I realised I didn't wanna change anymore. Mirabelle: Housemaidens are supposed to change a lot. We even have yearly festivals dedicated to Change!

(Ah, that... you've heard Isa mention those, when you helped him...)

Mirabelle: But, I liked myself like I was! And I didn't want to abandon it! But I was supposed to! Mirabelle: And the thing that was distresing me most about Change was... bonding.

(!!!)

Loop: (Again, just like Isa.) "Oh yeah, I've heard from Isa that it's an important part of Change."

Mirabelle: ...Oh! Well, I shouldn't be suprised, Isabeau likes to talk about Change. Mirabelle: But yeah! When the question of bonding came up in my life, I realised... I didn't want any of it! Mirabelle: I don't wanna bond with someone! I don't want to love them in this special way! I don't want to do the things in bed! Mirabelle: The very idea of me being with someone in that way was so... alien to me. So wrong my very being rejected it. Mirabelle: Even then...I was ready to spend the rest of my life as a Housemaiden. Stepping over myself. Changing without the reason for change. Going against my very nature and eventually bonding with someone. Mirabelle: Just because I believed in Change. Mirabelle: .... Mirabelle: But after a long time of trying to come to terms with it, I realised... It wasn't worth it. Mirabelle: Spending my time in this cage of obligations. Mirabelle: It's kinda funny, in a way. Change belief, a belief about changing and being different, but also somehow restricting me this much. Mirabelle: This was my realisation. Isn't it a kind of Change, to break the mold, to be different from others? To not force yourself to fit in? Mirabelle: ... Mirabelle: It was was still scary. Mirabelle: Not even because of the belief. Mirabelle: But because of others. Mirabelle: I was afraid of what others would think. What kind of person I would be in their eyes. What kind of Housemaiden that would make me. Mirabelle: So... I decided to go on a pilgrimage. Mirabelle: Usually, people in Houses do it to Change more, but I.... Just needed to get away from this life. See new places. Meet even more people. Mirabelle: I guess that is Change, in hindsight. Mirabelle: But it was much more... free, you know? Just travelling by myself? Mirabelle: ...

(Mira stops for a bit.)

(Well that is interesting! You'd never would guess she has such qualms with her belief.)

Loop: (But...) "But why is you not changing such a secret?"

Mirabelle: ...Oh! Yeah, I haven't actually explained, haha. Mirabelle: ...I really care about Isabeau. He is still pretty new to this whole being a Housemaiden stuff. I just... don't want to interfere with that. I still help him, of course, but my story can discourage him, I feel. I think Isa better discover this himself, and then I'll help with that, than me telling him in advance. Or maybe Isa won't feel the same as me at all!

Loop: "And why not tell the others?"

Mirabelle: Well, uh, first of all, it would be kinda rude, and second of all, I feel like one of you would spill the beans, haha. Mirabelle: ...But also... I want you all to see me as strong. Not as someone who abandoned their home because they couldn't make it.

(Is that what she thinks we would think?....)

Loop: "Mira...." Loop: "You are strong. I think each of us would say that."

Mirabelle: !!! Mirabelle: Loopie, I.... Mirabelle: Thank you. Sincerely. Mirabelle: I just needed to hear that, I guess.

(She sighs.)

Mirabelle: You know.... when I met you all.... Mirabelle: I realised I didn't need to love anyone like I described. But... Mirabelle: I could still love you all as friends. Mirabelle: And I truly do. Mirabelle: I love how different you all are! Your clothes, your stories, your beliefs.... Mirabelle: But you, Loopie... feel more special to me. Mirabelle: You're, like, the coolest person I know! I want you to know that! Mirabelle: And I like spending time with you! I always learn something new from you, about theatre or stars or something else! Mirabelle: And how you have puns for every situation, Mirabelle: How you breathe in this way sometimes, and I could wish i could breathe with you to make you feel better, Mirabelle: And it makes me want to know about you more. Mirabelle: Hang out with you more, like this.

(Mira pauses again. You hear her whisper something under her breath.)

Mirabelle: Why is this so embarrassing?....

(You pretend to not hear it.)

Mirabelle: Wait, Loopie, look! A shooting star!

(You look up again, and...)

(Oh! It is there!)

(The star rushes by quickly, disappearing into the darkness.)

(...It is nice to hang out with her like this, though.)

Odile: Yep, there they are, knew it.

Bonnie: You are very observant, Dile!

Isabeau: Hi Loop, hi Mirabelle!!! We figured you'd be here! Isabeau: Um... can we join you two?

Mirabelle: EVERYONE IS HERE! Mirabelle: Yes, of course! Glad to see you, everyone!

Isabeau: Such a beautiful night... Was it your idea to come here, Mirabelle?

Mirabelle: Yeah!

Bonnie: Under the stars, eh? Very cute of you, Mira.

(Mira smiles even more.)

Mirabelle: Sure is, haha! It's good that you all like it. Mirabelle: I probably should have invited you....

Odile: But I still found you, so it's all good in the end.

Bonnie: I brought outr food!!! So we can eat here!

Isabeau: A nightly picnic!

Mirabelle: Oh, I can smell samosas... Mmmm...

Bonnie: Yeah, I made a lot. Loop, take one! Or two, even. You've earned it.

Isabeau: Loop sure worked hard today, didn't they? Thank you for your help earlier.

(You jump.)

Bonnie: Yeah, Loop, you've been a great help today!

Odile: Loop has shown me how to fight better. I'll be able to do more than just make our enemies feel bad, heh.

Isabeau: Oh, that's cool! Can't wait to see it in action, Odile!

Bonnie: Belle, did Loop help you too?

(You freeze.)

(Did you???)

Mirabelle: Heheh.....

Mirabelle: Of course Loop helped me today!!!

(Mira is looking at you with a gentle smile.)

Mirabelle: Thank you for spending time with me!! And talking with me!!!

(Oh.)

(Your hood hides your face already, but you still want to do it with your hands as well.)

Isabeau: How wonderful!

Bonnie: Thank you, o great helper!

Odile: Have another samosa.

Mirabelle: And some pâté and bread!

isabeau: I'm sure you want some tea, too!!!

Bonnie: And some of my curry--

(Woah woah woah!!!)

(Your plate is overflowing...!!!)

(You can see the food mountain sway back and forth!!!)

(You consume as much of it as posible before everything falls down.)

Isabeau: Oh!...

(...)

(You burp.)

Odile: Heheh, thats gross.

Mirabelle: Pfft!

Isabeau: Hahahahah!

Bonnie: Heh! Nice reflexes, Loop!

(Everyone starts laughing happily.)

(You laugh alongside them.)

(You're surrounded by your allies....)

(Your heart lifts.)

(You love them.)

(You're glad you got to spend time with them.)

(You're glad you know them better.)

(You're glad--)

Bonnie: Hey, Loop, everything good? Want more snacks?

Loop: (You smile.) "Of course, Snack Leader!"

Bonnie: Heheh! Then eat! As much as you want!!!

(You all laughed and ate under the stars.)

(Tomorrow, once again, you'll go into the House, and fight the Scary Lady.)

(But today.... today, you are happy.)

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Bunch Family

Final connection

While Judy and Victoria are spending time together, Lisa has also arrived at VJ's house. Again, it took a while for the door to open, because he had just taken a nap on the sofa. Once she was in the house, she immediately took the little something out of her pocket that her mother had given her and put it on the table in front of him. “Um… where did you get that??”.

Lisa told him what had happened before she went to him. That her mother had slipped her something and whispered in her ear that they should be careful with it and not mess it up “You really got that from your mother? Since when… o.k., I'd rather not know… phew”. Lisa had to smile a little, she had the impression that he was perhaps a little overwhelmed at that moment.

Her gaze went to him while he was still staring at the condom on the table. Then he inhaled and exhaled deeply, barely audibly. “Do you… I mean, now that it's there…"/ ‘Hmm… Do you want to?’ VJ stroked his chest nervously. ”Well… if I'm honest, I'm not really in the mood for it yet. I… caught a rabbit earlier and broke its neck with a stick"/ ‘Oh, that's tragic, really’/ ‘Huh? Hello, where's my Girlfriend who loves animals more than anything?’/ ‘I guess… she stayed outside the door’. (😏)

He looked at her and had to grin slightly at her statement. But then he saw something in her eyes that wasn't there before. She turned to him and put her arms around his neck. “Do you really have a guilty conscience now because you killed the little bunny or… Are you scared now? Where's my bad boy?”. She kissed him gently and looked at him intently. Then it was clear to him that she didn't want to take another step back. “hn…he only exists in this house"/ „well then…“.

When you're that young, you have certain ideas about how things might go the first time. But in the end, things usually turn out differently than you had imagined. Nevertheless, you were careful enough and kept giving the other person a sign to let them know that certain things were okay. “Today you can undress me completely, hnhn”. Lisa had fun teasing him a little.

VJ was happy to play along with her little games. But then he looked at her for a moment longer. “What… What is it? Don't you want more?"/ ”I want so many things, Lisa. But what I don't want is to stay here forever. I'd love to run away with you. But we can't get away from here.” . VJ often talked about freedom when the two of them were alone in a conversation. And she could clearly see this longing for freedom in his face at that moment. She tilted her head a little and stroked his face “then let's… make the best of it until that's possible, babe… OK?”.

This answer seemed to be enough for VJ for the time being. He knew that he could rely on her word. But at this moment, he didn't want to think about the past or the future, just about the here and now. . And so the bad boy finally had the opportunity to show another side of himself. A gentle, sensual one. She knew he was capable of it. And she knew what it looked like inside him. He's not always as strong as he pretends to be. Everyone has their weak moments. And Lisa was his strength and weakness at the same time.

While they were still in the process of providing protection, they thought back to the lessons for a moment… Back at school… When these wooden structures resembling male genitals stood on the table. The pupils were supposed to practise the correct use of a condom on them. Some of the young people had a red head and perhaps even made jokes about it. In practice, the whole thing looks a little different. You're nervous and worried that you might do something wrong. But with mutual trust, you can be successful together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later. Lisa was back home in time for dinner. “Oh, hello, I thought you'd come home a bit later”. Lisa smiled and shook her head. Then she looked at the food already on the table. “It's gotten cold. I think your soup is just the thing right now”. Judy gave her a grateful smile. “Mhm. are you all right otherwise?” Lisa knew what her mother seemed to be getting at. But she just shrugged her shoulders with a smile and let out a quiet happy “hmhm”.

The family enjoyed the warm soup that Judy had brought to the table today. It was also one of the things they had discussed with Victoria. They wanted to make sure that everyone here had enough supplies for the winter. And above all: warm meals.

A successful Sunday comes to an end. First and foremost for Judy, because she has managed to jump over her own shadow. Together with Victoria and a few others, she will ensure that everyone has a reasonably warm home over the next few days. And Lisa… She smiled to herself a little before going to bed, thinking about her pleasant afternoon.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of this Part

@greenplumbboblover 😊🙂

Note: I'm not lying when I say that I dreamt about them last night... They were out and about, it was early evening and VJ had a rather harsh tone and asked her to hurry up. I have no idea where they were going... hmm... That's how it is when the mind is intensely occupied with certain things, it wants to tell us something... A premonition? Or a suggestion?... We'll have to find out for ourselves.😉

[rizykim]

Rooftop | Yang Jeongin

Paring: Highschool! Jeongin × You

Summery: It was the day before valentine's and Jeongin wanted to confess to you early,knowing very well he'd get a lot of attention on tomorrow and that he wouldn't get a chance to confess.

Word count:

Warning: Fluff,a tad bit angst (?)

Note: Instead of 'Y/n' it'll be '___' for you enter your name and if you did enjoy please do leave a like and repost if you can,it would help alot!

"Hey, don't worry you got this...you can do it aight?" Hyunjin encouraged his friend lightly patting his shoulder as they were leaning against the building while they talked.

"I-I don't know...What if she doesn't like me back? What if I get rejected" Jeongjin doubted himself.

"And what makes you think that? I bet you can do better than Jisung proposing his gal last valentine by writing it on her locker which led him with not just a hard rejection but detention as well" He reminded of how less silly Jeongins confrontation would be and how it wouldn't be that bad.

"You're right...I should get this over with soon before tomorrow" He said taking a deep breath and pulled out the small lilac box out of his uniform jacket. Holding it in his hands while he looked at it with determination to give it to ___.

"That's the spirit. Now get that girl before someone does!" Hyunjin said and Jeongin started to run,looking back at his friend who smiled and gave him a thumbs up giving him more courage.

After a while of asking around everyone for where she is-since she wasn't in her regular lunch spot nor her classroom,he looked everywhere but couldn't find her. When he came across ___'s best friend.

"Hey Nat! Over here!" He called out gaining her attention who was with his boyfriend,Minho.

"Oh hey Jeongin,what's up?" She asked with a smile,he glanced at her boyfriend who also gave a smile and spoke.

"Yeah um did you see ___? I can't find her anywhere" He said looking around the area to find her maybe but still couldn't.

"Oh she went to the rooftop to get some peace" She replied.

"Kay thanks Nat! Bye!" He said waving off and entered their building,reaching to the stairs.

"Phew, finally" He said panting at the sudden rush of steps and opened the door few seconds later. Opening it to see the girl he had been looking for being there in a tranquil atmosphere.

With a deep breath he quietly walked towards her,resting his feet next to her as he observed her face. She had her eyes closed with her head up in the sky,breathing ever so slowly calming her nerves. Her hair wavering in the wind as she stayed calm.

Jeongin took another breath trying to make his heart slow down from thumping so fast against his chest which made his hands start to sweat.

'This is your only chance...' He thought and looked forward gathering up the courage to speak.

"H-hey..." He said waving his hand at her in a hi even though she couldn't see it. She fluttered open her eyes catching a glance at the surprising appearance beside her.

"Oh hey Jeongin! What brings you here?" She said chuckling with a smile. He could swear he felt his heart accelerating even faster to the point he was worried she'd hear it.

"Uh well...I just...um..." He scratched the back of his head,looking around to avoid her eyes as he tried to make out the words he wants to say "The weather up here is really nice isn't it?" He said out of the blue.

"Hm,it is..." She looked back up at the sky for a moment before sighing with a hint of sadness that lingered on her lips in a frown.

"Hey... anything wrong? You look upset?" He asked noticing her expression.

"Oh well... it's just...that..." Another sigh escaped her mouth "Nevermind, it'll probably sound stupid to you" She said laughing sarcastically.

"No, it's okay you can tell me-that is if you're comfortable with it"

"It's never stupid about anyone's sadness you know? It's okay to have bad days too,cause soon the happy moments will come back soon... especially if that person is a good one...like you..." He ended his last words looking over at her with a smile on him. A genuine smile he meant with the things he said. ___ smiled along with him for his kindness of consoling her even when he doesn't know her reason of being in a bad mood.

"Has anyone ever told you that you can make anyone happy without even doing anything?" She said in a giddy tone.

"No but I know that I can,I am bread anyway...I make people happy" His smile spread more revealing his pearly white teeth. They looked each other for a while untill Jeongin eventually remembered why he was here. Looking away breaking the eye contact and cleared his throat.

"Um ___?"

"Yeah?"

"I have something... something to tell you..."

"Oh okay,go ahead..." She stayed there with curious eyes, wondering what he could possibly have to say but she did not expect what was to happen.

"I...like...you..." He slowly spoke word by word. Pursing his lips into a thin line as he waited for her reaction with his hands opening the small lilac box Infront of her while kneeling on one knee. Revealing the beautiful ornament in it.

___ gasped covering her mouth at the look of the scene. She couldn't believe he was actually confessing her and with a pretty ornament in his hands.

"I know I should be saying or asking this on valentine's but,I don't want to wait having to see someone else take you away and because like last year-so many will ask me out...which is getting very annoying honestly..." He laughed lightly at the rant he let out and looked closely for her reaction.

"S-so...would you please be my girlfriend?" He finally asked sending a heart fluttering smile at her.

She still looked shocked,trying to comprehend it all together until her lips lifted in a smile "Yes...yes I would" she said shaking her head positively.

"Really?!" He stood up suddenly at her acceptance to which she nodded.

"I...I thought you'd say no and-and was getting myself ready to get rejected b-" He wasn't able to finish his words as she hugged him in a tight embrace.

"How can I when I was upset today because I knew we won't have a chance? But I was proven wrong..." She looked up at him,smiling like a kid. It brought a smile to his face as he hugged her back.

"Thank you ___. I like you a lot" He said pecking her cheek,blushing at his own gesture.

"I like you too" She said pecking his nose as they giggled.

The day after they entered the school hand in hand. Fingers interwined as they ignored all the judgy eyes darting at them. ___ had the handmade purple crystal necklace around her which Jeongjin himself made. None of them cared about anyone said as hey had a great day together as it was spent happily.

To my friend lingling :D

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

a H the preview

I forgot because someone asked me if Shaun and Lea were said while they walked by and I started turning the tv off while explaining xD

ACK I saw like one second and then failed at turning it back on

Okay c'mon c'mon

I've missed most if not (probably) all of it but still lol

SLFHSHFKSKLSD Yeeeeah okay xDD I got it on right as the doors closed lol

OKAY let me go pull it up XD

Okay okay okay

ALRIGHT I've got it :D

AHHH the sex of the baby!!

That line I saw :))

Oop disagreement lol

But yeeeah there's no way this goes well, or super well at least

Oohhhh nooo :(((

I mean we knew this was likely but still D': they look so happy

Wait another problem with Lim?? And AYYY she looks good :DD

Oh wait no probably with Lea!!

Mmhh yeah with risks :(((

AAAHHHHHH EMERGENCY SURGERY??

OH NOOOOOO

Yeeeah he is NOT gonna like not being in there 😬😬😬

To be fair it's something any ONE OF THEM would do not just Shaun

But AAAAGGHHHHHH HNGGGG

I'm stressed xd

And then the doors closing- ghrngbmfghrn aaaAARGGRHHFRHHHAHHH

help me xdd

A H

And this didn't even TOUCH on Perez's overdose either!!! Come to think of it he wasn't even in the promo. More on that in a second though.

That's the last of my last thoughts, now onto the. . .

REVIEW

Okay, I loved this episode :D. Nobody really fighting, which PHEW, that was a nice break for once xD Like there was a bit of contention but nothing much. But AAHHHHH THOSE LAST 5 MINUTES!! I was just barely behind on my liveblogging and then ALL OF THAT HAPPENED lol xD. Anyway, I don't think I'm gonna get this out tonight because I want to take a nap before getting up in two hours, but I'll put a bit down lol.

Okay, first, Perez! Because I was just talking about him lol, and I don't always have to go in order of importance (plot wise or sometimes just to me xD) or drama, be that most to least or vice versa, but anyway XD.

Yeah, I didn't see him anywhere in the promo. I mean maaaybe he was in the background but probably not, I think it's more likely that Powell was somewhere in the background - he's kinda gonna be going through it xdd.

But yeah, I think he's DEFINITELY gonna be struggling and going through a bunch of stuff, and I hope he doesn't deny that. I really hope we don't just not see him though, that he's taking time off or something and we'll see him struggle with the less-direct aftermath later. I know there will be a lot going on with Lea and probably some normal cases too, but he deserves to have some of that more immediate stuff explored. I think it takes us a step deeper into his character development to actually see this (not that it was required, but it is a way), if only faster through seeing the immediate aftermath. I really hope him and Jordan make it out of this though :(. And I mean, if they don't, I'll live, but I really hope they're happy 😭😭. So anyway, yeah xD 😭😭😬. It's about to be wild, and I hope he gets through this ❤️❤️. It'll be a tough journey <3.

Relating a bit, let's go with Jordan next. I really think she should be careful and all, I stand by that, but right now they've got bigger fish to fry lol. I really do hope they can push through this, honestly 😭. Like it's a complication of everything but that happens, yk? Life throws wrenches your way, and you just have to deal with it and try your best. I hope it doesn't mess with her too bad, finding him, because I'm sure it's different for a loved one (or yk a friend bc idk if they're close enough friends to use loved one yet, but anyway xD) than a patient. And I really just hope she gets the chance to help in every way she can :'(( <333. My babeys deserve to be happyyyy 😭😭😭. I would say especially Jordan since she's been my babey longer but Danny doesn't deserve that xD. And yeah, maaaybe soon I'll start calling him Danny lol.

OKAY it's been like a month, or two? I think? However long, it's the night of the next episode XD. Yes, I've been procrastinating a BUNCH, but in my defense I've been busy. So. I think I may have to rewatch the episode to finish the review? I'm still gonna try and remember my thoughts at the time (because that's the whole point of this), and I might be able to get enough from my liveblogging, I just don't know that it'll give enough context. Alas, I can try. I'll be back after a quick search and we'll see what happens lol.

ALRIGHT SO! I skipped through the episode a bit and looked at some of my posts to piece together my memories, and I think I've got most of the main points XD. These sections will be short because I don't remember much about the cases (I skipped through but watched more of the endings than I did the other times), or many details xD.

Park and Morgan! JUST TELL HERRRRR!!! I'm really glad to see that they are capable of working together (like how Morgan was actually being nice about him and not trash talking him to his date lol), but I still want them back together!!! They're still in love, whether they like it or not xd. It's a bit annoying that it's continuing to go on, but it makes sense too. They're both stubborn, and it's only been 8 episodes - I don't think they'll push a getting back together all the way to the season finale, but who knows ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌! They may. I think it's more likely we go a few more episodes of them truly realizing they want to be back together, though, and then it'll finally happen lol XD. But, whatever happens, I love them 🥰🥰❤️.

Asher! And, I'll throw in Jerome too :D. We didn't see much of either of them this episode, but as always I love them 🥰🥰🥰. Asher was living his best life being in the middle of everyone's business today and I love that for him XD. I'm glad Jerome's back (last week was the week he was missing, right?), and though I don't remember details about his appearances, I'm sure he did great :)) (at like. his job lol). And if I remember correctly this is the episode Asher warned Jordan? Yeeeah, I would want to be careful about you guys leading each other on and you're weird dance and what not, but now there's more pressing matters to deal with xD. Still, if that was this episode lol, I'm glad Asher's watching out for Jordan :). Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was this episode, looking at my section on Jordan lol. Anyway, Asher might be judging a bit harshly but he was being a good bestie :). And again (as I said I mean) he was looking for all the tea this episode XDD.

LIMMM. Let's talk xdd. OKAY, so, obviously for her sake I do hope she's able to walk again, and that everything goes well, and that things keep going well with Clay. I'm a little iffy on "fixing" a disabled character, but I'm not sure how permanent I ever expected it to be, and we do still have Powell. Plus, it's not like I DON'T want Lim to live a life where you don't have to deal with a disability, it's just that it's not required. I think they did pretty well with that, though, since we got to see her struggle and then be genuinely happy with her life. That was good, and I'm glad we saw it :').

BUT THE PROPOSAL!!! Like??? Sir???? Haven't y'all just been dating for like a couple months??? Maybe even weeks??? AAHHHH????!!?! XDDD. I mean, I do want them (mostly Lim, no offense Clay, lol) to be happy, and they are adorable 🥰🥰, but. WOW. xdd. It was kinda out of left field, Clay, lol. But, it was a really sweet gesture :')). You know, the whole, "I'm all in" thing :'D. I just checked the scene to make sure I was getting stuff right and I believe that's what he said, anyway lol. But also, STILL LOL! Still wild XDD. So yeah! AAHHHHHH, I'm super excited and interested to see/in seeing where that goes xDD. CRAZY, lol. Still, them ❤️❤️❤️.

As for Powell, I too would check the book XD. I think I'd just want to know lol. But eh, maybe I'd have more self control. Still, I'm glad she and Perez aren't gonna be constantly in that heavy of competition - I just feel like it's better this way, much less stressful xD. Like I said at the beginning, we finally got mostly nobody fighting this episode lol, at least not huge feuds, and I'd like to keep that going for a bit XDD. But, anyway, she did great this episode and I'm proud of her :). Plus, like I said, I'm happy she and Perez are better xD 🥰🥰.

Also, quick note on Glassman: amazing as always, even if he was hovering around Lim bit lol. I liked how he helped Shaun figure out that his scoring system was a distraction! It's nice to see him still be a mentor to Shaun, even as he's much more independent :). I just- their relationship, y'all 🥰🥰🥰. Anyway, I'm nervous but excited for how the surgery went (I imagine he'll be involved in that plot lol) :)). Love him, he was good this episode!

I don't think we really saw Andrews, but I'll say that the thing about assigning work to Lea was funny xD, if not nice lol. I forgive you, Andrews xD. But yeah, I don't remember if we saw him or not, but I'm sure he was great as always ❤️🥰. Hopefully we'll see more of him next episode :)).

Okay, ladies and gentlemen (and the many distinguished others), it's the moment you've all been waiting for: Shaun and Lea.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH LEA'S PREGNANT!!!! AAAHHHHHH 😬😬 BUT ALSO AAHHHH :DDDD!! :)) 🥳🥳.

But mostly I'm just nervous since she's not supposed to be pregnant yet xd (health wise, clearly she is plot wise or some terrible mistake has been made lol). Anyway, secondary news:

SHAUN AND LEA ARE BUYING A HOUSEEEEE :DDDD!!!

My adorable babeys 😭😭😭🥰🥰❤️.

I'm glad for all the communication this episode! I mean, they had their struggles, but they acknowledged them and talked openly about their feelings - that's always great to see with these two 🥰. They're honestly really good at it! I mean, just as an example, Lea admitting and knowing that she was being selfish. Also y'all I can't they just love each other so much 😭😭❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️😭. But AAHHHHHH they're going to buy a house :DDD!!! Y'all I can't I'm so excited, and happy for them :'))). They're moving on to the next stage of their lives, and it's amazing <333.

BUT ALSO AAAHHHHHHHHH I'M STILL SCARED xddd.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode. We had a nice spread of focus for honestly most of our gang, and they were all really good plots. Plus, the last 5 minutes we're crazy xD. But, the cases were great, there were some funny moments mixed in with some really serious moments, and it was honestly just a good time. I think it was a great winter finale with everything that went on, so even though it set up several things that scare me lol, I loved it. I just hope I won't be screaming about hating (not really) it after the next episode lol. Shaun and Lea, plus Perez, and Lim - don't betray me xd.

So yeah! I really loved this episode, I thought it was really good. It raised a lot of questions for next time! This has been my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 9: Broken or Not

It was great! I'm super scared, but also excited, for the next one! It's a crime to make me wait, though. I'll be back after the break with my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 10: Quiet and Loud

See you then!

[larkral]

Chapter Four

Welcome to the end of the commentary! 🎉 I have fucking loved this and would like crazy encourage anyone to write about their writing if they want to. I'll read it!!!

The beginning of this chapter is a sideways reference to the beginning of Carry On, except that Simon is A LOT more self aware. He's working through shit. He knows he's obsessing over Baz because he's romantically interested in Baz, but it also manifests in a very similar way as canon. Regardless of whether you think Simon was in love with Baz at the beginning of Carry On, it's difficult to argue he wasn't focused on Baz. Same here! Hopefully this felt a little bit parallel, even though it obviously lasts for a much shorter period of time.

One thing I really like about this section is that Simon characterizes Baz's absence as "almost two weeks" where Baz later says it's been ten days. They're both right but their perspectives are different and so they're framing it differently. For Baz, the precision is important: he got back as quickly as he could. For Simon the length already feels interminable, and a week and a half may as well have been two weeks, because who knows when it will end! Probably not until it's been two weeks. Maybe forever. 

Something that was important to me about the initial scenes in this chapter was that I wanted the plot to be INCREDIBLY concise. I was inspired here by @facewithoutheart's Eight Months (Forever). I think that story is just mind-blowing, and I felt like it might be possible to accomplish a similar plot wrap up. 

Mainly I didn't want this initial section to do much more than resolve the Natasha plot and enable Simon and Baz to find each other again, since that's the reason Baz left. That necessitated Simon being a little bitter towards The Mage. In light of some of my more recent thoughts about the role that The Mage plays in Simon's life, I'm debating a bit if this is unreasonably precipitous. Of course that's a difficult question to answer, but here's where I landed in writing this: Simon has only ever had two points to anchor against—Penny and The Mage. I think there's an argument to be made for Agatha, but IMO the facts bear out to that being essentially a surface-level relationship at best. So, over the course of the blowjob marathon, Simon starts to anchor himself in Baz. And he notices the differences between what he's getting from Baz—attention, availability, jocularity, and an extremely pleasant physical experience (all this from someone who is nominally his enemy)—and what he's getting from The Mage—unreasonable expectations, unmeetable standards, and an absolute bare minimum of necessary care. And I think that with Penny as another anchor, there's space to realize how poorly he's being treated by The Mage. Not necessarily explicitly, not necessarily as a revelation, but under the surface. 

Anyway, uh, you know, I tried to pack that into a single paragraph where Simon is thinking about what he'd say to the mage about Baz being missing. I hope that landed for the reader (did it? You tell me) because immediately afterwards is when Simon steps out of The Mage's plans for him. 

This was a challenging scene to craft! Enough recognizable characters had to be there to tell Simon that Davy was lying in his note. Simon still had to give The Mage the benefit of the doubt (canonically he does and the situation is MUCH less ambiguous). Ebb obviously had to be there as a powerful mage/generally benevolent force/adult who could take over the needs-to-be-powerful mantle from Simon, and The Mage had to do something much more obviously bad-guy-behavior than he already had. Oh, plus something to prompt Simon to seek out Baz. 

Phew!!! All that in what I ideally wanted to be a single, short POV section. I am satisfied with this section, and I think it does the work it needs to do in the interest of the larger story I was telling. However, I don't love it the way I love… almost every other scene in this story. So it goes. 

So. Okay. Okay. Okay. So. The final sexy scene was HEAVILY influenced by a fic my best friend in the world wrote. She is a fucking genius and I'm not going to link her fic here because I can't talk about it in a way that doesn't spoil it, but know that there's a fic out there that's gorgeous and priceless to me and has destroyed my brain a thousand times over and this is a mere shadow of it. Reading the story my friend wrote made me realize that the obvious natural conclusion of the sexual-romantic arc of Good at Something was a one where they just cannot get enough of kissing each other. That the sex is there, and it's got its own purpose, but it's about the collision between them: the uncontained, uncouth, uninhibited force of them realizing that they belong together. And there's something really pure and essential to this feral, animalistic way of being together that's uninformed by a performative motivation, and unbounded by the ways that sexuality is observed. That's what my friend wrote, and that's what I was aiming for. I hope that makes some sense because it's just vital to me.

The next part of the scene I actually feel might be a bit too ambiguous, and that's kind of on purpose. It's about the humdrum and Simon getting control of his magic, and I don't explain it for several reasons. Reason the first: this is a love story, it's not a story about the humdrum or Davy or Natasha. It's a story that we as people in fandom understand to address those things because of our knowledge of canon, but I very intentionally gave that exceedingly little screen time because it's not what's going on here. Reason the second: Simon and Baz don't know what's happening, and I'm not about to explain something that the POV character cannot know just so the reader knows it. If I can't get it across using the narrative structures I've elected to employ, that's my own fault. 🤷 

Anyway, because I can explain what I was thinking here: 

IMO the Humdrum/Simon situation is related to Simon's childhood trauma and was compounded by the fact that Simon wasn't given appropriate tools to manage his magic. Or I suppose, more plainly: The Humdrum is not an inevitability of Simon Snow and the ritual magic under which he was conceived, but merely a potential result of that magic (that occurred as a result of the fucking horrible interpersonal things The Mage did to him after he was born). I think it's very reasonable to assume that the potential to wreak havoc on the magical atmosphere remains a part of Simon after this story, but that the regular meditative practice of giving Baz a bunch of blowjobs, along with the lived experience and continual reassurance of his capacity for competence and the confidence that he is anchored by affection/love on multiple dimensions (Penny and Baz) allowed Simon to rewire the Humdrum part of himself so that it wasn't lashing out with his own uncontrollable hunger. 

Moreover, and I tried really fucking hard to write Baz's final section to convey this, but I think the prophecy is both absolute bunk and is also nominally fulfilled by this series of events. Here's why: "and one will come to end us" for sure refers to Davy, and "and one will bring his fall" refers to …? Is it Baz who ends Davy's reign (arguably in this case yes), is it Simon  (in canon, maybe) Is it Penny (again, in canon, maybe), is it Davy himself (in both cases, arguably yes)? But wait! Prophecies like this are never specific enough that we can be sure they're being fulfilled. Look at Nostradamus! Look at the Torah/Quran/Bible! Look at literally any psychic or horoscope. (Look at me bringing my extreme skepticism to a romance fanfiction, just look at it.) 

Anyway: "let the greatest power of powers reign" is absolutely not about a person at all, otherwise wouldn't it be "may he or she save us all" instead of "may it save us all"? I think the greatest power of powers is acceptance and belonging. And that's both what ends the threat The Mage has created, and is just an objective truth. It's the thing that saves us all. 

The end. Thanks so much to everyone who reads this. As I've said several times, this fic is monstrously special to me and I'm overjoyed that some of you have also enjoyed it.

Directors cut ask—whatever chapter of Good at Something you want to talk about!

What's that? More Good at Something commentary? IF I MUST. (I'm going to. Y'all are going to get every chapter. It is decided) Here is my commentary on Chapter 2 of Good at Something. If you thought that the commentary on Chapter 1 was excessive, get ready for this. It's even longer! I have so many thoughts and here they are. Writing about writing: a thing I like to do

Good at something directors commentary on chapter two. Let's goooooo.

Okay, so I'm pretty sure that the main reason that I branched out from blowjobs in their dorm room was that the setting was beginning to lose interest for me, and I assumed that readers would be feeling similarly. Note: this was before I wrote the oft-opened-envelope scene, so I obviously walked that idea back.

Anyway, notice: the world continues apace despite the fellatio marathon these two are competing in. 

Also notice: they're getting very familiar with each other. Making jokes! Simon pressing up against Baz's back in the hallway, tugging Baz towards him with his belt loops. The goal was that this section start to feel mutually warm in addition to being hot. 

So, aside from a subtle shift in the intended vibe of their relationship, this scene stands out for me because it's got some rocking jokes. It's a very funny scene! "never lock a door with a boiled carrot" is a legit Irish idiom that I learned from a board game called Wise or Otherwise when I was probably 12, and I still think it's hilarious. Let it never be said that writers don't use every fucking thing in their lives as fodder.  "Top marks for consent." (Yes, we're still grading the blowjobs!)

Next comes piano bench sex! Leg over the shoulder sex! Sex where balance is an issue because come the fuck on if you were being blown in the middle of a room and had nothing to lean against you too would stack it. I have a LOT of "smut needs a dose of realism" opinions, and this is one of them. Orgasms: not generally good for one's ability to stand unsupported. 

Get ready for the broken record because….this scene is super hot. I adore it. It's an incredibly awkward scene as well, which for me makes it even better. They're figuring things out! The position they start in is really bad, and the position they end in is not much better! I did a lot more research than is reasonable to figure out if one could actually get into this position, and the position is precarious but still makes me think of a weighted blanket. 

And!!! And! The most important part of this scene is the laughing. The fall and the laughing and the way that overwhelming joy can intersect with the bodily pleasure of sex, and how they're wiring those things together for each other. Even though they're still looking past each other, seeing something different in each other's reactions to the situation than they're experiencing, and both believing themselves to be the more invested one, they're getting there. (Though, my heart, when Simon thinks Baz was kind of amused and Baz is like: I have been bitten by a highyena. See prev point re: looking past each other.)

This scene also includes one of my favorite descriptions of Baz tangling his hands in Simon's hair: "My fingertips are just hidden under his curls." And then afterwards (and truly you will be aghast when I say I did not realize that I was doing this as I did it) Simon jerks off almost exclusively to Baz's tenderness with him, including HAIR TOUCHING.

I feel once again honor bound to mention my influences, and in this case the influence that led to Simon's come-eating is HP headcanon I invested 100% in after reading a drarry fic that lives rent free in my head even now: @firethesound 's begging (fair warning: part of an unfinished WIP, and a big part of the reason I no longer hesitate to read something that's a WIP. I'm glad I read it even if there's never more). The headcanon (which is my own invention, not even slightly mentioned in the above fic) is: as a pubescent child growing up in unfriendly circumstances, the easiest way to dispose of the evidence of masturbation is to eat it. And if that's a part of all of one's initial sexual experiences, it's something that's likely to continue into maturity. Not necessarily as a fetish (though I'm not saying *never* as a fetish), but as a part of what it means for a sexual experience to feel complete. For Simon Snow, a character with a canonical oral fixation, this feels like a no brainer. You're welcome. 

Also in this scene: the very beginnings of plot!!! Simon's successful clean as a whistle came at the end of this scene, self-evident, fully formed in my brain, without any prompting. And is part of the reason I've started to really trust myself and my process as a discovery writer. Sometimes something I can't explain comes out of a story, and I know it's right because it feels right. It feels like what the characters would do, or feels like what happens in the story, and even if (as this was, intensely so) it's confusing and not what I think I'm doing here, not what I'm going for, not what I expected… sometimes it's just exactly where the story needs to go. In the last commentary I called Good at Something my magnum opus which is a bit of hyperbole, but also this story is my heart, and if I hadn't trusted the part of my brain that said "Simon does a clean as a whistle here, and it works" that wouldn't be true. This story wouldn't have gone where it went and I (perhaps, probably) wouldn't love it the way I do. 

Aaaaand this is originally where the chapter ended! And we went from this directly into Simon sees Baz and Agatha talking in the dining hall. We have @petedavidsonscock and @facewithoutheart to that for the fact that it didn't, because after lengthy discussions with both of them, I formulated the potty/editing/re-writing plans that concluded in the Mage's office blowjob! 

Baz's brain scene that follows does a lot of work, but the most important work is…they give weeks into the semester. Whyever would I be mentioning explicit timelines so frequently!? Can't say. Won't say. (You know why.) Also cements Baz's internal voice as snarky and hilarious. I love writing Baz's internal voice. 

Fuck, okay, Mage's office blowjob may actually be strong competition for my favorite sex scene in this fic. It's just wrapped up in so much emotion!! And uh, it's also incredibly hot. So. Sooooo, okay. Here's where I reveal that I originally conceived this type of blowjob (facefucking/deepthroating) as the final sexy exchange of the fic. The blowjobs all have a genre in my mind, and this one seemed like the natural conclusion of the sexual evolution of this story. But also as I worked in that direction it just seemed incorrect. Yes, it's like, the boss level of the blow job video game, but it's absolutely not the boss level of Simon and Baz's relationship, especially given that it doesn't facilitate emotional intimacy, which is where they're heading. So here it is, the final exam in the blowjob seminar, coming midway through the story. 

This chapter is full of my soapbox stands, it turns out, because I am OBSESSED with the fact that Simon isn't just bam immediately capable of deepthroating. As I said in response to a comment @bookish-bogwitch left on the fic: it's so important to me that it's not something he's innately capable of. This is a story about working at something and getting better at it. About built skill, and that includes Simon wanting to do something and working at it and getting there. As a result of that, I did too much research on what deepthroating is like and how you might achieve it. (My lived sexual experience has never involved a penis, so research is a firm necessity.)

Part of the reason this scene just incredibly does it for me is that they're both shaky and uncertain about how much of what they want they're going to get, and even so, they're going for it entirely. I think that's something that's characteristic of both Simon and Baz in relation to this scenario. Simon: going for it because he wants it until he realizes how much he needs it. Baz: going for it even though he thinks it'll destroy him, because he can't say no to how close it is to what he wants. 

Also, hello, parallel between my writing process and the scenario I've put Simon in: he's learning to trust himself. It has cascading results! 🎉 

And, oh man, okay, the end of this scene again references canon in a way that I am obsessed with as a part of fanfiction: Simon finds the book with a picture of Baz in it. He's gobsmacked by it. His reaction is so entirely changed by having begun to experience Baz in a different way, but it's also fundamentally similar. It gives me such a good feeling to think about moments in canon framed through changed circumstances in fic and vice versa. Different lenses on the same moments give such a deep view of these characters, perhaps even of humanity as a whole? 

(Also, and this is getting excessively long so I'll keep this short, but the moment when Baz is getting dire about what he thinks Simon is going to do with the book and then Simon surprises him, that is a kind of emotional chain yanking that I absolutely fucking love when an author does it to me. Do other people feel that way? I don't know. But I did it to you anyway, as a treat.)

[andysbubba]

home to me

↳ andy let you go once, he doesn't wanna lose you again

a/n: a little series? this one's probably gonna have another chapter or two hehe <3

𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲'𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

---

Andy's stomach churned when he sees you. In a very good way. It's been a good two years since the break up and he can barely believe that he's seeing you right then and there— in the corner of the cafe that Andy knows you love going to. Your voice made his heart flip. It's so goddamn beautiful and Andy misses it so damn much.

He doesn't even know why he's so stunned at the sight of you. It's the only reason why he's there— why he's always going there almost every weekend, hoping to get a glimpse of you sometime. You're in the fuzzy, furry jacket that you're always wearing on chilly days, your hair pulled up with a claw clip and your laptop right in front of you with a cup of coffee right by the side.

He tried to get over you, he really did. But even after all the women he met after you, no one made him feel the same way you did. The butterflies in his stomach he gets just talking to you like some teenager, or how his heart just flutters when you smiled at him with that beautiful grin.

Andy couldn't help but look at you every two minutes, while he's waiting in the queue for his turn. He's thinking of what to say if he even has the guts to walk up to you and say hi.

The break up wasn't necessarily bad... it was mutual. Kinda. You were in the middle of your studies and you just wanted to focus on doing well and getting your masters. It's not that Andy was a distraction— really, he actually helped a lot. But between studying and trying to make sure you don't abandon Andy, you realised that taking a break would be good for the both of you.

You were young, only 24 while Andy was 14 years older than you are. He's so mature and wise that you just felt that you just wanted to grow as your own person before you and Andy took it any further and got more serious. You thought that you'd work on yourself, fixing up your flaws and make yourself just grow into a better version of yourself. And as much as Andy disagreed, he didn't want to force you to keep being with him. He thought that maybe, you both could just grow as time passes, and that you can change right next to him.

But he just agreed with you, because he definitely does not want to pressure you into being in a relationship with him no matter how much he actually wants you to stay with him. So technically, it was a mutual break-up to you. But he didn't really feel the same.

And unsurprisingly, Andy simply cannot get over you. Two years passed, and he just wishes that you're by his side again.

"Hi! What can I get for you?"

Andy snaps out of his trance, stepping towards the cashier and ordering his coffee to-go with a bagel as well. He takes a quick glance at you before he decides to change his mind. "Actually— I'll just have those here."

Wait— you recognise that voice.

You instantly glance up from the screen of your laptop, watching the familiar back and broad shoulders standing at the cashier. Holy fuck- Andy?

Your gaze turns back down to your laptop, your mind trying to decide between approaching him or just letting him go... again... like you did 2 years ago. He still fits into those polo tees like a glove, the jeans barely doing his ass justice but it really accentuates his goddamn thighs.

Fuck. Two damn years and you still have it bad for him.

"Can I join?" Andy glances down at some blueprint or floor-plan thing you have on your laptop. "Unless I'm interrupting— you look busy."

"Andy—" You turned to him and back to the opened floor-plan on the screen. "No, no. Hey-" You lowered the screen and put it aside, leaving some space for Andy. You gestured at him to join you in the booth.

Andy takes up the offer, setting the cup in his hand and the bagel right in front of you before he slides in. "Hey,"

You let out a breathy laugh as you look at him, fidgeting with your fingers underneath the table. "Been a long time."

"Yeah," He nods, offering you one of his adorable smiles as he rests his forearms on the table. "I stopped seeing you around, thought you moved away."

"I thought you did— till I heard the news talking about one of your cases." You retort, lips curling into a soft smile. "How've you been, Andy?"

"Same old, y'know. Long hours at the office and takeout nights. Nothing really changed." Andy grins, "How's everything goin' for ya?"

Oh— and he definitely isn't wrong when he said 'nothing really changed'. For this 40-year-old man to still look like the Andrew Stephen Barber you met like 4 years ago? Phew.

"Uhm- pretty good! I'm uh- I just signed a contract with Perkins and Will."

Andy's lips curled into a wide grin. "You did it!"

He remembers?

Your head tilts as you look at him. "You remember?"

"Of course, hon. That's your dream firm." He reaches over table and pats your hand. "I'm happy for you, Y/n."

"Thank you, Andy," You brush a hand through your hair, eyeing Andy in his whole polo tee and jeans glory. "I'm surprised you aren't working on a Saturday morning,"

Andy lets out a laugh at your words, "Yeah- I just thought, y'know. Uh- I'm old enough to stop being such a workaholic."

You raised a brow at that, "Andy, you aren't old." You give him a suggestive glance as your eyes trace his whole figure. "Definitely don't look like it."

"I'll say the same thing for ya, Y/n." Andy didn't bother hiding his gaze either, eyes trailing down your body till it's back up to your face. "Two damn years and you still look as gorgeous as ever, sweetheart."

A breathy laugh leaves your lips. "Always as flattering as ever, Mr Barber."

"You know I'm an honest person, sweetheart." Andy winks before he takes a sip of his coffee.

You hum as you run your finger on the edge of your own cup. "I remember you telling me that all lawyers are really good liars."

You love how familiar this feels. It's like nothing has changed and both of you are back in 2019. Good, good days. Letting Andy go was a dumb move on your side, you realised that pretty soon after the break-up. You should've known that you and Andy would've made it work someway, somehow.

"C'mon, honey. Y'know I can never lie to you." The wide smile he has on his lips is as charming as ever and god if it doesn't just make you fall in love again- as if you ever fell out of love with him in the first place. Andy clears his throat, a hand inching to the back of his neck and softly rubbing the spot. You instantly realised that he's a little nervous. "You dating anyone?"

You let out an almost silent snort, scoffing at his question. "Ya think? I just called you hot five minutes ago, handsome."

Andy takes a bite of his bagel, looking up at you through those goddamn long eyelashes as his mouth moves to chew the food and those fucking pink lips making you stare at him like a horny teenager.

"You've got to stop staring at me like that, sweetheart." He warns, but the glint in his eyes is telling you that he really doesn't mind you staring him up like that.

Your brows raised immediately in defence. "Like what?"

You tried your best to fight the grin fighting its way to form on your lips. But Andy is a goddamn lawyer, after all. He knows his shit and he knows that you're just being a tease.

He huffs, brow arched as he looks at you. "Like you wanna eat me." He replies shortly, lips curling into a smirk. "Cause I was planning to take this slow after 2 whole years. And you aren't helping."

You hum, picking your cup up and taking a sip from it, hiding the grin forming on your lips behind the cup. "You can still wine and dine me if you wanna." You set the cup down and lean forward, head tilted to one side with your head resting in your palm. "But y'know, I'm pretty impatient."

Andy laughs, backing away from you and resting back against his seat. "Guess it's good that I've got enough patience for both of us, huh?"

You laugh at his words. "We'll see, Mr Barber."

He takes your words as an invite to ask you out. "Dinner tonight? My place."

You playfully rolls your eyes, ignoring the little flutter in your heart. "Who's impatient now?"

"It's a yes or no question, sweetheart."

"Still that cute little loft?"

"I'll text you my new address later."

You couldn't fight the grin forming on your lips. "It's a date."

---

He was at the grocery store when he pulled out his phone and goes to your contact to shoot you a text. It has always been there, saved and never deleted. He didn't want to get rid of the hope that he might have you back.

Andy: 242 Warren St [sent 3.24pm]

Andy: See you tonight, sweetheart. [sent 3.25pm]

You didn't reply so Andy just assumed that you read it. He's looking forward to seeing you again tonight and he's excited.

---

It wasn't till you got home that you realised that Andy doesn't have your new number.

-

LOL I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS.

thanks for reading and uhm come join my taglist if you liked this little chapter? I'm definitely looking forward to writing this one.

do tell me what you think about this, lovelies! i'm kinda excited to see where this goes

-haney

taglist: @milea @ajeff855 @fanofalltheficsx @justile @christowhore @amelia-song-pond @melissad1974 @thegirlwiththeimpala @bval-1 @suchababie @ephemeralfics@franzliszts-wife @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hallecarey1@paintdripsandbrownies-blog @notbrooklynsblog @perfect-peter@alwaysclassyeagle @coffeebooksandfandom @gitasor @mansaaay @iguess-vall @feralherbs @kaiparker-avengerssmut

[thokaharuka]

Spill your guts or fill your guts

SUMMARY: Y/N and Harry meet while playing 'Spill your guts' with James Corden

WARNINGS: Swearing?

Hey!! I mentioned a few celebrities,I don't even know if ya'll find them attractive,but they were the first ones that came to my mind hahaha.

"Okey,we're back now,Y/N has joined us,lovely as always" James points at me from the other side of the table,the crowd starts to scream and I simply wave.

"Hi" I say too.

"Then we have Harry,the guest for tonight, but you all know him well,this studio is like his second home,I swear to god he's obsessed with me" James jokes about Harry.

"Heyyy" Harry frowns at him. I really never met Harry before,and we didn't even got to talk before the show,everything we said to each other was an awkward 'hi' before the camera started filming on air.

"Anyways" James starts to choke on his laugh. "This is spill your guts or fill your guts with Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N!!!!" He yells at the camera while the band does the little music.

After that he starts to say what we have on the table.

"I don't even know how you convinced me to do this" I whisper looking down at the table. James just laughs it off.

"So we have,bull penis, bird saliva, Salmon smoothie, cow tongue, scorpion, we have ant smoothie and we've got cod sperm"

"Mmmm,delicious, chefs kiss" I say doing the chefs kiss. "I'm first for the cod sperm" I joke and James starts to laugh hysterically and Harry just giggles a bit. Sometimes I don't know If James gets possessed or if he fake laughs everything as if he's gonna die.

"I'm sorry to break it to you Y/N,but you'll start first,pick something for me and then ask me the question." James says.

"Oohh,Okay,well..." I rotate the table and stop at what I wanted. "I pick for you the bird saliva"

James starts to laugh "Okey,now you have to ask me a question"

I take a card and start to read it.

"James you have interviewed some of the pop divas. Rate from least to most Britney,Mariah,Cher and Madonna on how annoying they were" I couldn't help but laugh. James did the opposite, he covered his face with his hands.

"Seriously?" He laughs nervously

"Well,is that or the bird saliva,you choose boo" I start giggling, he looks behind him at his team.

"Cheers" He raised his glass and took a sip of the bird saliva. Gross.

"Ew" I let out in disgust trying hard not to gag.

He immediately spits it out in a bucket.

"Oh my God,now I'm scared" I say laughing.

"C'mon it's not that bad" He laughs. "Okay,Harold"

"James" Harry says back.

"I'm gonna give you" James starts to say while spinning the table. "The scorpion"

"Delicious" He answers back looking at it.

"I know,so the question for you is..." He takes the card. "Harry" James starts to laugh unable to continue.

"Tell me" Harry laughs back.

"Harry,you always say how much you love your former band mates and how you loved being in One Direction"

"Right"

"With which ones do you actually still talk with" James hides his face under the card. The audience instantly starts doing sounds of shock.

"I-uhmm..." He starts to laugh cutting himself off. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to talk to them,it's just that" He laughs, taking the scorpion in his hands. "Uff" And suddenly he takes a bite of it. James starts to laugh hysterically and I just start giggling,then,Harry spits the scorpion.

"Now that was a trip" Harry gets out laughing.

"I think you should text some of them" James laughs out.

"I will"

"Okay,Harry,choose something for Y/N,and read her a question".

"Okay" Harry laughs. "I'm gonna give you the cod sperm,because you wanted it so bad"

"Good" I laugh back

"Okay" He says while taking a card. "Y/N,you have dated a lot of actors"

"Well, I wouldn't say a lot,but okay" I laugh,looking at the producers.

"Say from most to least,which ones are more talented, Dylan O'brien,Tom Holland,Evan Peters, Hero Fiennes-Tiffin"

I immediately hide my face with my hands laughing.

"You've acted with all of them,you can tell us" James says.

"I can't,sorry" I say taking a fork about to take the cod sperm. "Oh my God,I'm having flashbacks with this,what do I do,do I spit it,do I swallow it" I say pointing at it while laughing.

The both of them immediately start laughing.

I take a big breath to prepare mentally to eat it.

"So,the first one will be..." I start,but I can't continue, I'll just have to eat the fricking cod sperm. "Why did I agree to this?" I say and quickly put it in my mouth. I chew for a bit but I start gagging so I spit it. James by now was laughing hysterically.

I turn around at the audience. "It's disgusting" I nod at them.

"Well,my turn now,right?" I look at James.

"Yes,yes it is" He laughs.

"I'm gonna give you the...hmmm" I spin the table. "The cow tongue seems right,yeah" I stop at the cow tongue.

"Thank you,yeah, it does seem right" James nods at me.

"So,James" I say taking a card. As I read the question I start to laugh. "You've had a lot of guests in the show,but,which person do you refuse to interview? Even for the amount of money that you get paid" I tap my shoes on the floor laughing.

"What the actual fuck" He says turning around at the producers with surprise on his face. Wow,James just cussed,that really caught him off guard. Harry starts to laugh too,hiding his face with one hand.

"I can't, sorry" He says and quickly takes a bite of the tongue.

"Now,that was quick" I laugh.

"I've even swallowed it" He laughs. "God,phew" He let's out. "Anyways,Harry"

"James" Harry says taking his hand out off his face. "You better be nice with me".

"I'll try,I guess" James laughs. "I'll give you the bull penis".

"Sounds good" Harry laughs.

"Harry styles" James laughs looking at his card. "What do you thought when you first read that Zayn said that you and him supposedly never talked?" The crowd suddenly gasps. I swear that being in my position everything looks overdramatic.

"I mean" He sighs,slaming his hand against his thigh as if he was tired. "You know,if being together everyday for five years, means you never talked,I think he's right" James starts to laugh in shock. I just simply smile,not knowing what this is about.

"I mean,yeah"

"Okay" Harry says shyly putting his head down.

"Well,your turn now" He gets his head up again,laughing and looking at me.

"Yay!" I fake excitement

"I'm gonna give you..." Harry spins the table in front of us. "The salmon smoothie" Why does he seem so exited? This better not be disgusting.

"So, Mrs. Y/N" He takes a card. "Oh God,I think you'll have to drink it" Harry laughs reading the card.

"Jesus Christ,I'm scared now"

"Y/N,your songs are for sure good,but tell me,how many of them are about Post Malone cheating on you?"

I can't even hide my surprise face. "Who said he cheated on me in the first place?"

"I don't know,I just read what the card said" Harry says nervously shaking the card.

"I don't even wanna comment on this" James nods in disagreement,disbelief on his face.

"Help" I let out. I lean in front of me and take a sip of the Salmon smoothie. It tasted bad,but it wasn't disgusting at least.

"Well,I think you just confirmed something" Harry jokes at me.

"Just shut up" I hide my face with my hands.

"Well..." James says quietly, but suddenly raising his voice. "This was spill your gut or fill your guts with Y/N Y/L/N and Harry Styles!!! We'll be back now,stay tuned".

A few seconds later James tells us we're off air and we get up.

"It was nice meeting you" Harry comes to me.

"Thanks. It was nice meeting you too."

"Would it be okay if we exchange numbers?"

[queerstudiesnatural]

Hi, how're you doing?

I just had a thought completely out of the blue. I don't know if this has been pointed out before but here goes...y'know how Sam is talented (and interested) in witchcraft but is reluctant to actually do it? Is that because Dean always says he hates witches? Is there some kind of dean=Sam/queer=magic/john=dean going on here?

John once said 'man, I hate the gays' and that was that for Dean? Dean says 'man, I hate witches' and that was that for Sam?

Sorry if this has been repeated over and over or dumb, I dipped out of meta after the finale and didn't do too well at English Lit. 😬

Thanks ♥

Hiya !! 😊 Oh boy do I have some thoughts about this!!

I definitely think that Dean had a lot, if not everything to do with Sam not pursuing magic. It was the same with his psychic powers back in the early seasons. Dean once said to Sam "if I didn't know you, I'd wanna hunt you".

There's an element of "Dean said witchcraft is bad so I'm gonna stick with that (even if I might not entirely believe that myself)", but I think Sam is also scared. Scared that Dean won't love him if he becomes too other, scared that Dean will hurt him. Dean hates witches and loves killing them.

So between that fear and Sam's need to appease Dean as a coping mechanism, especially in later seasons, post-cage trauma, post-trials, Sam just. doesn't really fight for himself anymore like he might have before. He's so messed up and he copes by focusing on Dean's troubles and going along with Dean's way of doing things as much as possible because he doesn't have it in him to fight. His soul spent 150 years being tortured by Lucifer, he's tired. He barely ever yells, he's so quiet.

He doesn't matter.

But with Rowena, for a tiny while, he got to be his own person again. For once he wasn't special because he was a Winchester, because he was a Vessel, because he was God's favorite doll. He wasn't really special at all. All he was was a good listener and a good student. And Rowena liked him for the person he was, outside of hunting, outside of God's plan. He was just a guy who wanted to learn from her because he was interested in her craft. But then Rowena died, and that little spark that she'd ignited that said maybe, maybe he could have this one thing for himself. That spark was snuffed out by his return to reality--his reality, with his witch-hating brother and the world ending, and Sam remembered that what he likes doesn't matter.

I think though, there might also be an element of laziness on the writers'part? Because this is a show about killing monsters, and well, they've always done a really poor job of defining what constitutes a monster. It used to be a genuine question in the early seasons (with characters like Gordon who was killing psychic kids) but then they kinda abandoned the issue without exploring it further, and they reverted back to their very first (John's) idea of "if it has any sort of superhuman power it's a monster and needs to be killed", with two added elements : vessels will be killed too because if you got possessed that's on you I guess. And if you're useful or if a Winchester personally likes you then you're okay.

ANYWAY if they'd made Sam fully psychic, or made him a witch, they'd have to bring up that question again, and actually take some time to address it this time, and well they couldn't do that could they. Not when they were busy turning Dean into a rage monster and burying their gays. They couldn't add "maybe dissociate other from bad" to the list as well.

PHEW sorry this got kinda long and all over the place, I have a LOT of feelings about Sam and his powers <3

[smilingperformer]

Ok but I need to talk about JN108 a bit more, under the cut!

I am not gonna lie, I had quite a laughing episode after the episode because I just fricking knew that they wouldn't show Satoshi Gekkouga or even hint at the form, they even made sure that a flashback that included ALAN and his MEGA CHARIZARD-X didn't have Satoshi Gekkouga like, wtf sjhfgsfhsgfsf.

Say what you will, that IS a retcon. Indirect one at least. Because the flashback to specific event involving Satoshi Gekkouga doesn't involve it. They specifically avoided even mentioning it. They even had Satoshi do Satoshi-Gekkouga like bond movements WITHOUT the form! THAT NEVER HAPPENED! It always needed the form. Semi-perfect or perfect. A normal Gekkouga was never enough lol. It probably can be explained as their bond being stronger than ever but ajfsljfssfklsf. Nah.

I'm glad that it ended up that way thou, because now Lucario won't have anime-only form to follow up on Gekkouga. Like, phew. It did seem like Satoshi did indeed compare the bond he has with Gekkouga feeling like the bond he currently has with Lucario, so the similarity to aura is somewhat confirmed? Not directly, but strongly suggested. Makes me happy!

But like.... hm. I liked everything that involved Gekkouga. He felt like who he was, and his bond with Satoshi was super nostalgic. But Lucario indeed felt like a jealous puppy who was annoyed at Satoshi having someone who's bond is stronger than his lol. Or that he was weaker than Gekkouga. Really thou, I just kinda flashbacked to Pikachu and Wanpachi asfkjshfsjklsf. JN, stop doing jealousy plots. Please.

Luckily it didn't last long and there was a... weird scene between the two were they just, practiced moving water by an inch. I have no fricking idea what that was. Focusing practice? But like, even if Satoshi's Lucario is my least fav atm (and I hate that y'know), Gekkouga's mentoring with him was kinda nice.

But.... where's Puni-chan. No fricking mention of Puni-chan 😂 Gekkouga is just cutting weeds and never free from that job like, c'mooooooon. My dream episode plot was for Puni-chan and Gekkouga to return together and for this negative weed plot to end but nooo. Not allowed it seems. Fricking hell lol.

But cough. I may sound like I'm critisizing the ep a lot, but I actually enjoyed it still. It was VERY fanservice-y with the flashbacks and Gekkouga moments (except for Satoshi-Gekkouga semi-retcon cough) and I had fun time. I liked how Satoshi chose to go see Gekkouga at the sight of seeing Gou's Keromatsu evolve, like he got nostalgic at seeing Gekkouga again.

Koharu also had the best face, like:

*stare*

How can you not like Koharu when she has the best faces in the whole show ajhsgfhfgsfhgsf.

(Also that's a perfect meme format-)

Anyway. Those are my longer thoughts before subs. Thou I checked with others on stuff like if Satoshi Gekkouga was mentioned at all. And it wasn't. :--D Gosh do I hate being right on that. Even my twitter poll that I did before ending up becoming less active feels sad now:

Oh you sweet dear buffoons~

So yeh.

I don't care about next ep one bit, I don't like how Kibana is depicted to be so serious when he's, really not. Then again, this series did a bad job at showcasing Galar to its full potential so I don't care lol.

PS: even if Gekkouga somehow had another ep later on his Satoshi-Gekkouga form is STILL, as of now, semi-retconned out of existance. Just like JN103-JN104 pretended that Serena didn't exist. That's just bad build-up writing. For real.

Anyway. That's all I gotta say on this ep. Toodles!

Edit: Oh yeh, the ep had tons of callbacks to flare arc somehow, so that was fun!

[sako-mii]

this seems cool:)

hiya the names mari! Ill join your matchup for Tokyo Revengers!

- I'm female,chaotic bisexual,she/them

- I stand around 5'2-5'3, I have black n red medium length hair that is curly (but poofy when dry.) That i usually straighten. ALOT. I'm curvy with chubbyness as a side :>

- I'm an aquarius!

- I'd say I'm a pretty chaotic person- In short I'm a ambivert and tend to be very socially awkward. ( really my only responses will be "oh..uhh..cool! mkayy,or the usual favorite " yeah haha....") but unless your a friend or family member or It's something im intrested in,I'm a chatter box. My friends say I'm pretty nice,which is true when I feel like it. I always try to be good at listening and giving advice to others and go a mile to make sure everyone is okay,which is just my 1st priority. I'm pretty extra sometimes- I take things the whole mile when it is a topic or person, so if you were to get hurt by someone,prepare me to ask for the socials >:(. Yes,yes i am V lazy, and I WILL silently complain about having to get up. In being a good friend or person,i often try to make others laugh,or brighten the mood,with dad jokes,acting like a baby or whatever,even if i regret it after. Some of the negatives though, I'm huge pushover- literally I'm working on it, I also am too forgiving some people say which is true since i will go for the easy way out of things..so if forgiveness is what it takes then yeah. I'm indecisive, and impatient sometimes. I also tend to get irritable quick and loud when i get angry- which I say whatever comes to mind,hurtful or not. I'm a crybaby- i won't lie when I'm told no or things get stress full and not going my way,the tears come. Im also usually forgetting things,which is caused to sleep deprivation, just lack of sleep in general. I also tend to ovethink alot and non vocal with my feelings.

My positives ! I'm told to be pretty funny which I try to be.

My positives! I'm told to be funny,which i always try to be. I like to be helpful! So I'm always trying to do something for someone. I can be understanding with others emotions or actions. I'm also pretty accepting, idc if you did bad things back then,as long as your nice in the now,I will accept it.

(Phew dat was long mb)

I've been told by my friend have a binge eating disorder (which is starting to develop..alittle too bad)

This was alot- but i hope its good^^

Remeber to stay safe!! Drink WATERR

I'll assign you...

Souya Kawata (Angry)

You two met in their ramen shop. You came in with your friend

You two ordered ramen and you got his bowl. You thought it was really delicious and wanted to compliment him but he looked very angry so you decided you will another time.

You visited their shop some time later and it wasn't that crowded. You ordered for a bowl of ramen. While you were eating, you called for him.

He was still looking angry but you thought he might feel better if you compliment him, and you did. You told him that the ramen he made was very tasty.

Even though he still looked kinda angry,it felt as if his expression has gotten a bit soft and you could swear you saw a light tint of blush.

He averted his eyes a bit, "th...thanks. I'm glad you like it."

Before you left, he gave you his number on a piece of paper before walking away. As you were walking out of the shop, you decided to give the number a call

You dialed his number and he soon answered your call. "Do you give all of your customers your numbers?" You playfully asked. There was silence on the other end until, ".....n..no, I only gave it to you". His statement somehow made your heart flutter.

He asked you if you'd like to hang out together. You gave it a thought then answered with a yes

You two were watching a movie together and later on chatted in a cafe. You two got along very well and became close very soon.

At first you thought that he's always in an angry mood, but you soon realized that he's an angel with an angry looking mask. You also made him smile a lot.

He looked out for you a lot, sometimes he would just text you and ask you how your day is going.

You two started going out, he asked you out. He liked your kind and caring personality.

He took you out to star gaze at night on your date. He took you to a nice place to watch stars with a ride on his bike.

He often gives you kisses on the forehead.

He knows about your eating disorder and would try and help you to control it. He would tell you you're beautiful inside and out

If you ever overthink, he would be there , trying to calm your thoughts by giving you company and giving you headpats.

He might be angry looking but you are one of the things that make him smile.

Enjoy your new realm, that's where you'll stay now

Take care of yourself. Have a nice day/night and stay safe 💖

[princebugs]

stolen dance. (reed900)

small note before this begins--- this oneshot is based off of some art made by @jude-shotto !!! pls go follow them theyre amazing

-------------------

"Fucking--- shit," Squinted eyes gaze into his dust-ridden reflection before him, his phalanges evidently not nimble enough for this simple task he had to complete; tying a tie. Perhaps he was skilled in this in another life of his, but ever since he was a young kid, he was never able to finish any sort of tie. Whether it be a regular ass tie, or a bowtie--- tying that shit? Not Gavin's thing; he would just force his father to tie it, when his dad was still in the house, that is.

Cue another long-winded groan, and he gives up. The tie had gotten all sorts of messed up during the actual wedding, due to him having to lift it up to wipe away the tears dripping down his cheeks. Weddings were emotional, alright? Tina could barely get through her vows to North, and Gavin felt too many emotions at once--- anger at her for leaving Gavin so easily (not in the romantic way, he didn't like her like that), sadness for seeing her go away into her new life, and happiness for seeing his best friend finally finding someone that cared about her so dearly.

Nonetheless, it left a bitter taste in his mouth. Jealousy.

When the fuck was it gonna be Gavin's turn, huh?!

He threw the abandoned, wrinkled tie behind him, not really caring to see where it landed, and he points to himself in the mirror. "You, Gavin Reed, are a fuckin' delight to be around. You will find someone eventually. And, your ass looks GREAT in these pants, so don't go in there and look all depressed. You're gonna walk into that stupid dance-floor, immediately sit the fuck down at the bar, drink champagne, and hope for the best--- because Gavin Reed isn't a desperate man!"

A proud grin stretches across his visage, confidence washing over all of his insecurities as he turns around to leave the bathroom--- of course, taking a quick look at his ass along the way.

You're damn right it looks good.

He straightens out his suit jacket on the way out, before noticing that someone was in the bathroom stall directly behind where he did his little pep talk. Freezing in his tracks, the air is silent in the room for several moments.

"...I'll give you twenty bucks after this if you don't tell everyone about me talking about my ass."

"Deal."

Done and done with that, he walks out of the bathroom.

A brief exhalation, and still meandering with a new surge of confidence, his hues breeze over the area, searching for a very specific lady of the hour--- he wasn't letting her go on that honeymoon without stealing a dance from her, duh. That's just how they rolled, ever since highschool prom.

His train of thought is broken by someone speaking to him, and he inclines his cranium to the side to catch a glance of who wished to partake in a conversation with him--- oh. Connor, and Hank.

Connor was wearing suspenders along with his bowtie (stupid phckin' neat android who could tie a tie--), and his jacket was placed on a chair just a few feet away from them. His hair was done as it usually was; slicked back except for a few baby hairs. His smile was as bright as ever. "Gavin! We were wondering when you would come out of there. I queried to Hank that you might have had a bad lunch, and were possibly disposing of i--"

"Connor, stop that shit," Hank interrupts before Gavin gets the chance to, and Gavin almost laughs at his appearance. Listen, it's not everyday that you see Hank Motherfuckin' Anderson dressed up nicely, and Gavin actually has to cover his mouth to stifle his laughter. He didn't catch sight of him beforehand, so he was just seeing this--- this monkey suit of his.

He couldn't deny that it did look good on the Lieutenant, but nonetheless, it was fuckin' hilarious. "So, Hank, did you borrow that suit from your grandpa, because it looks just a lil' dusty riiiight--"

"Don't even touch me, Reed. Don't even think about it," Hank's coarse voice states, causing Gavin to retract his palm from almost wiping off the other male's shoulder. Gavin snickers anyways.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll bug you about that shit later, after the wedding," He actually has a tone of genuine joy, his childish smirk turning into a bright grin.

Connor beams at that. "Wow, Detective! You actually... don't look pissed off for once. I'm quite impressed."

His cerulean irises roll in slight irritation, but he keeps smiling. "Listen, today's a good day for me, alright? My best friend got married, for fuck's sake--- speaking of Tina, where is the secondary bride? I need to get my dance from her real quick before I dash outta this place. It smells like my nana in here."

"Don't tell North that," Markus joins in on the conversation, looking as pristine as ever with his tuxedo (suit jacket abandoned), and his sapphire-and-emerald optics practically sparkling in the light. Gavin almost blushes. Almost.

There may have been a possibility that Gavin used to have a minor, MINOR, crush on Markus. Who could blame him? Look at the guy--- he was too pretty. If Gavin was the president during the revolution, he would've let the androids live free just because he would have gotten entranced in everything that is... Markus.

He gave up on that MINOR crush soon enough, and now they were just mutual friends.

"Oh, shit--- she isn't around here, is she? North'll kill me if she heard that," Gavin glances around himself, emitting a sigh of relief. North was the one who planned the majority of the wedding occasion, and if she heard any complaint about it, she wouldn't hesitate to snap a certain-coffee-infused-relatively-short-detective's neck. Phew. "Coast is clear, y'all."

"Tina and North are actually sitting down right over there," Markus turned around to point over towards the newly-wedded couple before continuing, "be careful what you say, of course. North could still commit a murder tonight." Markus chuckles, but Gavin gulps.

"Alright, see ya, losers," The human begins his sauntering over towards Tina, ignoring any possible looks that were given his way (he was hoping it was merely because he put just a little extra sway in his step to catch people's attention), and then tapping Tina's shoulder once he made it there.

"North? Mind if I snatch away your wife for a dance?" Gavin bit down on the inside of his right cheek, extremely nervous about merely asking her that. He had met North beforehand, of course--- he was just very afraid of her. She didn't generally like humans, besides her partner, and he didn't generally like androids; it was a match made in HELL.

Surprisingly, North smiled softly, gesturing for Tina to go ahead and stand up. "Go ahead, I'm sure she needs as much time with her best friend as she can get."

"Sweet. C'mon, Tina," Finally taking off his jacket and placing it around an empty chair near his current area, as well as pushing up his sleeves, he then holds a palm out for her to take, and Tina laughs.

"Dude, are you taking me for a waltz, or something? Don't be so fancy," Tina, that beautiful bitch, giggled before giving her wife a kiss on the cheek, then taking Gavin's hand. "This doesn't make me any less gay, you know that, right?"

Gavin stuck his tongue out in disgust, a little 'bleugh' sound emitting from him, "Gross, man. Plus, you're totally not my type," he says as he leads her to the dancefloor. People are already dancing there, but once they see the grey-black vest of Gavin, and the sleek black dress of Tina, they move out of the way. Perks of being the best man and one of the brides, eh?

"Yeah," Tina began, peeking behind Gavin's shoulder as they swayed around to the rhythm, their hips shaking at a leisurely pace, "in fact, didn't your type just walk right through that door?"

His eyebrows furrow momentarily, his head turning to look behind him, and---

Yowza.

---------------------

keep reading on ao3!!!

[inkshro0m]

Logan's Secret Emotion - A Platonic LAMP Oneshot

cba to get rid of the big gaps so.... sorry bout that😅

--------

Logan found it very hard to express his emotions. He kept them all to himself in his big brain, the one that's stuffed with knowledge and facts. Or that's what Virgil, Roman and Patton thought...

Patton felt as though Logan found him annoying. The nerd seemed to ignore him or he just had an annoyed expression etched out on his face. Patton always tried to make him feel loved and cared for, and only wanted to express his friendship! Maybe he shouldn't be so bubbly and friendly all the time...?

Roman felt as if he was too... him for Logan. Said man usually rolled his eyes whenever the prince-like man would sing his sentences out, enthusically commenting on the weather, or something like that. Honestly, Roman could be who he is. If who he is is a man who is so extra he could become chewing gum (extra?? the chewing gum???...yeh, that metaphor was wEiRd- hi, future kat here.... pls ignore this =_=) and is just... loud, then too bad for Logan, he wasn't changing.

Virgil felt like Logan just hated him. He was probably too edgy and too emo. The smart guy probably thought he was too anxious for his own well-being and needed to stop, and maybe he just found him too annoying because he was in his way. Then again, Virgil thought that everyone feels that way about him.

One Wednesday morning, Logan received a notification, which is quite rare for him. He usually only got notifications from the news or something.

He was currently solving questions in his favourite problem solving book, 'The Ultimate Trivial Pursuit', smothered in his favourite unicorn onesie, with a coffee sitting out in front of him, slowly cooling down. He rested the book on the table and picked up his phone, opening it up to display one of his best friend- Patton -'s name, along with some tumblr notifications which he just swiped away. He read the text with slightly intrigued eyes following the words displayed before him.

Hey Lo! Sorry to bother

you, but I was just wondering

whether you would like to

join me, Ro, and Virge at

Sanders' Cafe at 12pm?

You don't have to of course,

just wondering! xx

Hmm... did he want to go? Who was he kidding, of course he wanted to go! He loved his friends with all his heart! And yes, he had a heart.

Salutations, Patton. You are

not bothering me. I would

appreciate the oppertunity,

thank you.

What Logan didn't know was that that single message caused an excited squeal to errupt from his beloved friend's mouth upon seeing it.

Three beady eyes had been eagerly watching the three dots slowly bouncing up and down, anticipating for a response. They all felt as though they needed to hang out with Logan more, it felt like he was growing apart from them. Leaving the nest.

Logan had started to get ready as soon as he'd replied, leaving his favourite book and coffee to go cold. His friends were more valuable.

Quickly slipping into his black polo and blue jeans and messily tying his tie around his neck, he was stumbling around the room, way more excited to see his friends than an ordinary person would be. He picked up his comb and brushed his bird nest of hair... how it got this tangled, he didn't know the answer to (which is quite rare). Then, he cleaned his teeth for 2 minutes because body maintenance is important.

Meanwhile, the other three were slightly nervous (even though it is just their friend). What if he was bored or didn't actually want to be there. Roman was the least worried; he didn't really care about what Logan was thinking. Patton just wanted Logan to have a fun time, and Virgil was just his anxious self. What if he was just going because he felt he had to?

Logan was already rushing out of the door and almost tripped down the three steps at his porch... oops. That was just enough to remind him that there are probably people watching... so he just carried on being as fast as he could because why should he have to wait any longer? He tugged at the car door, only to remember that he left his car keys on his bedside table when the door refused to open... dammit!

Sprinting back into his two-story house and up the staircase, he snatched up his keys and went back out to lock the front door (which he'd stupidly forgotten to do the first time). He, more orderly than last time, got into the car and started it.

To check that there where no cars coming, he looked out the window to find a little boy sitting on his bike, wide-eyed. Oh... so there was someone watching...

The embarrassed man just gave him a small smile, just to assure the boy that he was fine. Logan was well known for his stoic manner and teacher-like personality in his neighbourhood, so this must have been pretty weird for the boy... oh well. He can't go back now (both of them can't).

The boy's eyes followed Logan as the car rolled down his driveway. This was awkward. Once the man was sure there were no cars coming to stop him from seeing his friends, Logan pulled out onto the road and sped off towards the cafe the 4 friends where supposed to meet at. Wait... what if they were pranking him? What if they weren't going to come at all? No. Patton wouldn't do that. Neither would Virgil. Roman? maybe, but not Patton nor Virgil.

With anxiety in his eyes, Logan stepped out of the vehicle once he'd parked it and walked, normal pace, into the cafe. His glasses-shielded eyes darted around the room, looking for 3 familiar heads... Bingo! Phew, they weren't pranking him. A tiny smile (you could hardly even see it) made it's may onto Logan's face, all anxiety washed away. He was going to see his 3 favourite people! Those people's heads turned his way when he made it to the table they were sitting at.

Patton's eyes widened upon seeing the necktie-wearing man, despite expecting him. "Hey Lo! I'm so happy you came!", he excitedly greeted, genuinely meaning what he said. The bubbly one hasn't seen the other in over 2 weeks, and that's a long time for him!

Still with a smile that was unnoticable, the formal one slipped into the booth beside Virgil and nodded, "Salutations, I appreciate being able to see you too". He looked around, secretly happy to be with these people again.

Virgil was on his phone, but he'd nodded at Logan because he doesn't want to be rude and be hated even more. Also, speaking wasn't his strong point.

Roman waved, "Greetings, pocket watch! How have you been doing? We haven't seen you in so long". There was slight sarcasm in his tone, obviously a little annoyed that Logan didn't spend more time with them but it wasn't really his fault, they'd need to invite him first. 'Pocket watch' ignored the nickname and the tone, he was used to this sort of thing from the flamboyant man. "Adequate, thank you. What about you? Have you all been doing well?", he looked around the table.

The usual answers came: A grunt from the emo, a "Great!" from the bubbly man, and a "Very well" from the actor.

Logan let his lips twitch upwards to show he cares at least a bit.

"Well, shall we order our drinks? Or are we going to just sit here in awkward silence?", Roman suggested, chuckling a bit after the end of that sentence.

Patton stood up, quite quickly may I add, "Oh yeah! I'll pay for it all; my treat!", he giggled. Everyone reluctantly agreed, knowing there was no point arguing as the dad figure would always win.

Three of them stood up, Virgil staying behind because he doesn't like doing things in groups, he'd go after they'd figured out what they wanted. The emo noticed that Logan's phone had fallen out of his pocket as he'd gotten up, so he picked it up and set it on the table for the teacher-like man to pick up once he comes back. The phone's screen lit up upon contact, revealing several notifications from tumblr. Huh... Logan has tumblr? 'Didn't expect that', Virgil thought. Maybe he'll follow him, his posts must be interesting - seeing as he's very intellectual and smart. He checked the username: '@logical-crofters'. 'Man... he's really obsessed with that jam, isn't he?', Virgil snorted. The darkly-dressed man opened up his own phone and quickly followed him, before the others called him over to choose what he wanted.

Slipping his phone into his pocket and leaving Logan's on the seat, he rushed over to the others to pick a hot chocolate. He'll read his posts later.

Once everything was ordered and everyone was sat down, Logan noticed his phone, causing a confused expression to make its way onto his face. Virgil noticed this, "It fell out your pocket", he simply stated. A nod came from Logan, letting him know he understood.

About 5 minutes later, everyones drinks got delivered to their table. Patton sighed, relaxed, as he smelled the lovely scent of his sweet hot chocolate, which had whipped cream and marshmallows mounted on top of it. Mmmmmm...

Roman happily sipped on his iced tea; it was so refreshing!

While Logan drank his black coffee, Virgil quietly tried to start up conversation, which was a rare sight to see. "So... Logan, I didn't know you had tumblr", this caused the addressed man to almost spit his mouthful of coffee all over Patton, but luckily he's not that careless.

He looked over to the man who'd spoken, "You saw that?". The anxiety that had gone away a while ago had come back, making him fear what the other thought.

"Yeah. When I picked up your phone, I saw the notifications. I haven't read any of your posts yet but I've followed you", he stated, letting him know the details.

Logan let out a squeak that sounded like an 'oh'. 'Please don't read them, please don't- What if he reads them? What if he shows the others? What will they think of me?!'

"Hey, is everything okay?" Patton layed his hand on the almost-panicking man's forearm, bringing him out of his over-working mind. Logan's eyes had been dialating, telling the others that something wrong was obviously going on.

Logan's eyes finally went still, focusing onto the man who was currently comforting him. "Yes, yes. I am fine. Just, Virgil-", he looked at the man he'd addressed, "please do not read my posts..."

Virgil wore a look of confusion. 'Why wouldn't he want me to see them?', he queried.

"Why?", Roman, who'd been quiet this whole time, spoke Virgil's thoughts.

What was he supposed to say? Logan didn't want to let them know why, or his secret would be out! "Just...", he sighed, causing the other three to raise their eyebrows, even Patton. The necktie-wearing man was bright pink, wondering whether he should let the others know what he'd been hiding.

Too late. Virgil was already getting his phone out and clicking on '@logical-crofters' on tumblr. The owner of that account hadn't noticed until a small gasp came from beside him, causing everyone else at the table to whip their heads towards the sound. 'Great', Logan gave up. Virgil knew... he'd definietly tell the others.

Virgil's thumb wouldn't stop scrolling. These posts... they were so sweet! Oh my goodness, Logan, you are so adorable!

Some of the posts read:

"My three best friends: Virgil, Roman and Patton, are the best people in the whole galaxy. I'll bet on it. Virgil is so considerate of other people and is an interesting person over all, he is also fascinated by space, as am I. Patton is, though I don't like to admit it, very funny and adorable... in a friend way. He cares about others so much and does his best to make everyone feel alright. Roman is very creative and a great guy to be around. He is so dramatic, but in a fun way. He tries to agrue with me, which is funny because we all know that I'll win, but he tries his best."

"Patton is so loving and it warms my heart :')"

"I had a long talk with Virgil today and I have found out that he is interested in space!"

"Roman was great at performing as 'Evan Hansen' from 'Dear Evan Hansen' today. The musical was so moving."

Patton and Roman had scrambled their way under the table between them and Virgil to look at his phone with wide eyes, excited to know what Logan was holding from them. Their beady eyes watched the emo's thumb slowly scroll through the posts, reading the compliments and sweet messages talking about them so passionately.

Meanwhile, Logan groaned and stuffed his face into his arms, not before taking his glasses off because... we wouldn't want smashed glasses now, would we?

About 3 minutes had gone by and Logan was contemplating whether he should just leave because this was just way too embarrassing. Suddenly, a pair of arms were thrown around him and squeal sounded, way too close to his ear. Ouch. "Oh my gosh, Logan! I didn't know you felt this way about us, I thought you didn't like us or something but this just proves me wrong!", what it sounded like to be Patton practically shouted into the embarrassed one's ear.

"So you did like the performance! I knew it!", Roman exclaimed. Logan could just see the dramatic pose that man was doing.

There was silence from the darkly-dressed man, which caused Logan to slowly lift his head up, put his glasses back on, and look around. His eyes landed on the silent one. Were... were those tears?

"I- no one's ever said anything like that about me. So... nice", he finally spoke, eyes watering from joy and happiness. He looked up at Logan, a smile creeping up onto his lips. "Thank you, Lo"

This definitely wasn't the reaction he was expecting. "Uh- I... I was just speaking my thoughts. You all mean a lot to me... I know it doesn't show but... it's true", Logan was so suprised he could hardly even speaking in an orderly manner!

All three beloved friends shared a look, one that Logan didn't understand. Oh no...

They all looked back at him..."No thank you. Please-" He was cut short because there were 3 pairs of arms squeezing the usually serious one so hard he was sure that his eyes would pop out, and that's pretty hard to do. "Guys, I can't... breathe...", Logan was pleading now.

They all let go after one more squeeze from Patton, allowing Logan to breathe once more. The dad giggled, "You're so amazing, Lo".

To this, Logan adjusted his glasses and regretfully said, "I believe the correct phrase for this is: 'no you'".

Virgil snorted and Roman burst out laughing. Patton just couldn't resist another hug and Logan was fully smiling. This was very unexpected, but he loved it. They all knew how much he loved them. No more awkward conversing. No more secret emotion...

--------

originally written on wattpad

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: what are you up to rn Grace: UM why? Janis: 'cos we can't find Cass and can't take the kid on the decent rides, will you just stand with him for a minute Grace: oh Grace: yeah sure Janis: cheers Janis: give you some cash, he likes the easy shit Grace: OMG don't even mention it Grace: or like worry about it cos I'm not trying to break a nail rn Janis: you've gotta entertain him somehow Grace: Duh Grace: but that's not with waltzers and rollercoasters babes Janis: I've just said he can't come with Janis: we're talking coconut shy level, Grace Grace: & I'm saying I know what I'm doing Janis: well don't fuck it up please Janis: call if he gets too worked up he's shy Grace: obvs! just go Janis: it's serious Janis: and you haven't said where you are Grace: I'm being serious Grace: I'll meet you at the sweet stand Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: [shows up with a very unimpressed lad in tow] Janis: [just such a withering look like who the fuck are you] Grace: [does not intro him and is just intro-ing herself to Bobby and it's cute] Janis: [just in the background letting Jimmy do what he need to do but lowkey trying to walk away like bye] Grace: [it's fine girl we know Grace has got this] Janis: [ahh when you can't stand to be around her for literally five seconds] Grace: [me when Trace is on one] Janis: [go have fun] Grace: is he allowed any more 🍬🍩🍭??? Grace: he says he's had NONE but I know when a boy is feeding me a line 😂 Janis: try and make him have a hot dog or some chips first Janis: if not he'll be 🤢 Grace: me too tbh Janis: such a good influence, like Grace: I'm sorry that my date is a feeder or something 😱😱😱 Grace: does not take no for an answer Janis: bodes well Grace: UGH IKR 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: he's in a mood cos I got 💋 on him earlier like ?? excuse me Grace: I don't have my own makeup line yet, boy Janis: it is grim when you've used a cup Janis: like a crime scene Grace: OMG don't be on his side! Grace: he wouldn't be complaining if it was anywhere but his face Janis: behave Janis: shits probably harder to wash off that herpes Grace: EW Janis: you said it Grace: I literally did not Janis: you did Janis: don't need to hear about you lipsing anyone Grace: Okay hun that makes no sense Grace: if it had staying power it wouldn't have transferred and he wouldn't be 😣😣😣 Grace: & I wouldn't have to go hard on 🍬🍩🍭 to show him my chill vibe or whatever Grace: so #notlikeothergirls & so annoying Janis: what's any of that got to do with me Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: you talk for the sake of it Janis: talk to your shit date, not me Grace: sure Grace: laters, babes Janis: 👍 Grace: 👋 Janis: [later than you were probably expecting, like] Janis: k where are you Grace: bumper cars Grace: there's a line but we're basically at the front of it now 🙏🙏 Janis: cool we'll jump it Grace: you can take my place, these are NOT driving shoes Janis: babe, you just steer Grace: really!?? Janis: yes 😂 Janis: how do you not know that Grace: Oh thank god! Grace: idk I've never been on them Janis: how is that possible Janis: maybe you should go in with your lad, let Jim take Bobs Grace: Before this date I haven't been to the fair since I was younger than Bobby so Grace: Oh please, he's long gone Grace: Your boy can if he wants to though, that'd be cute Janis: sure, too many sights and smells, can't control her gag reflex when she's abused it that hard Janis: oh, soz Grace: 🙄🙄 not everything I do is with Mia, thank you Grace: & no you're not, babes Janis: pretty much since you were a bit older than him, maybe Janis: well not really but can't blame him Janis: didn't reckon on you bringing a child so Grace: do you see her rn? obvs not Grace: 🤷🤷 if he wants to say that's the reason Janis: can't really bring your missus on a date Janis: got to have some boundaries Grace: can you STOP Janis: what Janis: I said soz, make Jimmy buy you a drink or something Grace: I don't want a drink Grace: I'm gonna have to work out tomorrow Janis: well can you not just take it Janis: you don't need paying but he'll wanna do something so Grace: He knows my coffee order Grace: I'll make time to go Janis: k good Grace: He's a cute kid, I don't even need anything Janis: that just makes you sound like a child snatcher so keep that hush Grace: you're ridiculous Janis: am i Grace: Duh Janis: 👌 Grace: Whatever, I've said my goodbyes so 👋 too Janis: cheers Janis: later Grace: Any message for mum and dad? Janis: lol that's a good idea Grace: I obvs meant about where you'll be or when you'll be back Grace: but 👌👌👌 Janis: that's even stupider then, ain't it Grace: mhmm Grace: my bad, hun Janis: don't mention it Janis: not the easiest mistake to make but 🤷🤷 Grace: 🤷🤷🤷🤷 Grace: I'm so over it Grace: you too, I'm sure Janis: if they're still acting like they don't have answers to either of those questions, I can imagine Janis: could always repurpose my message for yourself Grace: if I wasn't going straight home but tragically Janis: what difference does that make Janis: can still tell them to fuck off Grace: not before dad picks me up thanks Grace: it's not like that boy will be doing a U turn now I'm Bobby free Janis: lol no way he was 17 Janis: looked 12 Janis: and he still would, he's a fucking pushover Grace: he's 19 Janis: so a nonce Janis: cool Grace: You're literally OBSESSED Grace: first I'm a child snatcher then he is Janis: that's literally the definition Janis: you're a child, he ain't, what do you want me to do Janis: didn't work anyways and even if it did, no one's throwing 😍 at it Grace: If you wanna report him, go off Janis: yeah I'll ruin some sad cunts life 'cos you're out here trying to prove something Grace: ???????!!!!!!! Grace: he asked me out, I agreed, it's not a big deal Janis: mhmm Janis: swear guv Grace: OMG SHUT UP Janis: sort it out for fuck's sake Grace: I didn't know he was that old! You literally just said yourself he doesn't look it Janis: don't incriminate yourself Janis: not illegal but just as weird if you're tryna fuck 12 year olds Grace: gross Janis: you said it Grace: No Janis: definitely did Grace: Leave me alone Janis: ooh alright Janis: touchy Grace: OMG why can't you ever stop? Janis: pot kettle Janis: why are you being so sensitive Grace: Why are you still talking to me? Janis: 'cos what's wrong with you Grace: yeah cos I'm gonna tell you Janis: why do you care Janis: you got what you wanted from him anyway Grace: What does that even mean? Grace: you have no idea what I want or wanted Janis: you wish Grace: obvs you do, but I really don't Grace: I'm wishing you'd go away thanks Janis: yeah, can't you tell how much I wanted to see you Janis: good catch up babes Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: about right Grace: sure Grace: see you at school, like Grace: Spanish is first lesson back Janis: maybe Grace: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Grace: next time you steal a car is fine too Janis: next time it won't be nans so 🤞 no Grace: just don't look up my bad date, his wouldn't get you a mile out of Dublin Janis: got standards, darling Grace: I know, babes Grace: everybody does Grace: You can only wish for secrets Janis: can give the daily vlog a miss then Janis: phew Janis: love it when they put the work in for me Grace: mine's postponed cos I don't film little kids but there's plenty of other content THANK GOD Janis: 💔 should've thought of that before agreeing to go out with one really Janis: not very committed Janis: I'll 🙌 to that Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: n'awh Janis: say hi to the gals from me Grace: I'd love to but there's been a disconnect Grace: I'll say it to my ex instead, he just got here Janis: less impressive than the 19 year old Janis: forgetting your audience Janis: they'll probably go for it though THANK GOD 👍 Grace: You're forgetting I only need a ride Janis: that's low, man Grace: If you wanna console him, he'll be free later Janis: you know something's gonna happen to you one day yeah Grace: I know you've got your 🤞 Janis: get a grip Grace: obvs the plan Grace: I'll make sure he's parked first tho, wouldn't wanna cause a crash Janis: unlikely Grace: not really Janis: if anyone bought you were a decent ride you wouldn't have to rely on your ex Grace: if I wasn't he wouldn't be back Janis: he's back 'cos your price is a ride Janis: you know it's not even a fiver in petrol Janis: literally the eastern euro girls on the street aren't as cheap Grace: wow Grace: so judgemental Janis: you're dirty Janis: it's disgusting, judgment from me is the least of your worries Grace: Yeah it honestly is Grace: & I'm sure you have better things to do so Janis: yeah talking to mum and dad for a start Grace: cute Grace: say hey from me Janis: you reckon I won't Janis: got no loyalty to you Janis: be more than a hey if they can manage to do even a semi-competent job Grace: I don't care if you do or whatever else you do Janis: Don't need you to Janis: be out of your hands, like Grace: sure Grace: they'll really show up for whatever slut intervention you think is about to happen Janis: you don't reckon Janis: you're delusional if you don't Grace: you are Grace: where's it been, babes? Janis: you're putting yourself in danger Grace: Me and how many of the rest of us Janis: you're stupid, Rio at least has some brains Janis: marginally more self-esteem Janis: born victim, you, trust me, they're gonna get on board Grace: nobody's more devastated than me that I'm not more like Rio, obvs Grace: except maybe dad Grace: 💔 there's not 10 of her Janis: no one cares what he wants Janis: irrelevant beyond being a sperm donor Janis: enjoy your chat 💕 Grace: 💜💜💜 Janis: 😂 Grace: it will be amusing if it happens Grace: I'll keep you a front row seat, hun Janis: don't worry Janis: buzzin' I care, so far in my DMs Janis: must be gutting when you're the only one that does and you get no recognition for it Grace: 😭😭🙄🙄 Janis: that's alright, sure your ex will take you back and console you Janis: epic shag and all around winner that he sees you as 😍 Grace: if he won't, I'll try one of the others Janis: always the shameful hookup when you've run out of lotion, never the girlfriend Grace: mhmm Janis: love that for you Janis: just get her in to help you with your prices Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: she is good at maths Janis: is she Grace: oh of course she's never helped you with your homework Grace: my bad again, babes Janis: not what she's remembered for is it Janis: being the whore who married her cousin is really all that comes to mind but that's almost sweet Janis: pop it in the eulogy, lovely Grace: if you'll excuse me, I have to make some conversation with this boy Grace: such a good chat tho Janis: not what he's paying for Janis: so don't worry about not being a decent conversationalist Grace: tragically telling him that wouldn't get me where I wanna go so Janis: the tragic thing is you think you're too good for the bus when you're literally selling yourself Janis: wonder how many times this one told you you talk too much? 🤔 Grace: Oh please Grace: & I'm the extra one Grace: everything's a drama tonight, hun Janis: don't act as if you don't understand Janis: he would only pick you up so you blow him Janis: you aren't friends, they don't care about you or even respect you Janis: it's as simple as that Janis: and you're not even trying to get out, you're going home, half an hour away Janis: it's actually the saddest thing I've ever heard Grace: not anymore obvs Grace: why would I go home for the lecture? Janis: because you've got no balls and nowhere to go Janis: fucking hell I hope they pay for a decent shrink, seriously Grace: Thanks to you I've got nowhere to go Janis: go home Janis: sort yourself out Grace: I'll take the party he's offering but thanks again Janis: that's right Janis: get off your face then it ain't your fault Grace: It'll be my fault but I won't care Grace: you always tell me not to so congrats, finally taking that advice Janis: you'll be crying on a stranger's bathroom floor within the hour Janis: you ain't built for it, so tah for the guilt trip but i ain't biting Grace: I love that you've given me that long tbh Janis: got to earn his time and attention and petrol first Grace: Oh honey, I could do that crying Janis: wanna turn your phone off Janis: they'll be out looking now Grace: I would but if it's not on my snap it didn't happen, don't need to tell you tho Janis: your locations on Janis: they aren't that thick Grace: What do you care? You want them to find me Janis: you mean you do Janis: christ Grace: You think you know everything about me Grace: where does the delusion even come from? Janis: you think no one does Janis: let's unpack that one Grace: no-one does know everything Grace: they can't Janis: someone needs to take your netflix away too whilst they're at it Janis: fucking hell Janis: we aren't 13, even then that shit was embarrassing Janis: now it's well Janis: get yourself on the corner with your bessies level Grace: Whatever Janis: you really thought that was a revelation Janis: put it as your next caption, get those kids clicking ❤ Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: this is what comes of letting stoners breed, jesus Janis: experiment over Grace: we all wish it was Grace: at least they've stopped now Janis: no need to wish Grace: not gonna jump out of this moving car, however much you'd love that Janis: i know Janis: no balls Grace: 💔 Janis: answer your phone yeah Grace: As if Janis: for fuck's sake, Grace Grace: I don't need to hear mum chatting to me like I'm Carly or Edie Grace: or dad telling me that he still loves me Janis: well then, think that it's not about what you need, I don't care Janis: just do it Grace: I literally just said no Janis: I literally don't care Grace: So get out of my inbox Janis: answer your phone and I will Grace: I'd actually rather kms than answer that phone call in front of this boy Grace: it's not happening, go away Janis: no Janis: answer the phone Grace: no Janis: do it Janis: stop being selfish Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: coming from you Janis: and? Grace: it's just hilarious that you think you can make me do anything Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: answer the phone Grace: no Janis: do it Janis: he doesn't like you anyway so don't act like that's an excuse Grace: It's not about him Grace: he answered the fastest Janis: then talk to mum and dad Grace: I've nothing to say & like I said I don't wanna hear what they are going to Grace: no thanks Janis: No one cares Janis: pick up the phone and get it over with then Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: exactly Grace: I'll do it when I'm drunk obvs, there'll be no stopping me then Janis: why not now Grace: I'm busy, like Janis: no you ain't Grace: excuse you Grace: the fact this makeup has no staying power was literally the opener of this convo Janis: and what Grace: & he'd kick me out of the car if he saw me without any Grace: duh Janis: again Janis: so Janis: that's the point Grace: your point, babes Grace: mine was that I wanna be here Janis: no, yours was you need a lift Janis: which you don't now so get out Grace: no, it was that I don't wanna go home thanks Janis: no one does but you have to Grace: Why do I? Grace: I literally don't Janis: yeah you do, you aren't being safe or smart Grace: &? Grace: it's been forever since I was either Janis: exactly Janis: so go home Grace: Why now? Janis: its pretty obvious Grace: No Grace: it would've been obvs if someone had said something at my 13th birthday party when I went further than anyone during 7 mins in heaven cos Connor O'Malley said he really liked me and he wanted my birthday to be special for a good reason again Grace: or when I hooked up with his best friend like a week later cos he lied Grace: You don't care, you've never cared Grace: don't tell me what to do now Janis: yeah, your birthday Janis: and you reckon you got it bad it could've been worse if I hadn't bothered saying anything Janis: you think i'm going to pick up your slack and be 2nd to you Janis: for what Grace: OMG you're just like Mia, putting yourself in the centre of everything Grace: I've never thought that or wanted it Grace: 2nd to me!? I'm not that fucking delusional Janis: how dare I remind you its my birthday and all Janis: bullshit, Grace Grace: That wasn't the point Grace: I'm trying to tell you, it's too little, too late Janis: that's it Janis: that's your problem is it Janis: poor you Janis: get a grip, you and every other girl at school Janis: fucking hell, edie died Grace: Get a clue Grace: this is why I can't talk to you Janis: not trying to talk to you Janis: go home Janis: I'm not there Grace: Even Diego's out so like I said, why should or would I? Janis: because you wanna be Grace: You're actually not on the same planet, I s2g Janis: that heart to heart you're trying to have Janis: they're the only ones that'll listen Janis: so go Grace: They won't Janis: bollocks Janis: all they do Grace: You go Grace: do whatever it is you want Grace: I'm good Janis: no you're not Grace: obvs but as good as I can be 🍾🎊 so 👋 Janis: no Janis: I've told you Grace: Go off, I'll mute you when it gets boring Janis: no you won't Grace: ILYSM but even so Janis: you won't so save us both the hassle Grace: you'll be hassled by drunk me, babes Grace: she'll be living her best life Janis: no one believes that Janis: and you think I wasn't bored before this began Janis: difference between us is I do give a shit Grace: of course I don't think that, we OBVS know each other so well Janis: hurry up Grace: 💃💃 Janis: hilarious Janis: don't reckon I won't show up and bring them with either Janis: get your head out your arse and make it easy for yourself before I make it worse Grace: that's your fave thing tho Grace: it'd be so mean Janis: not stopped you before Janis: go on Grace: drunken portuguese is some drinks off but sure dad's waiting by the phone so Janis: can't even remember any so Janis: what do I care, you're talking to them Grace: this is so annoying now Grace: you're putting me off Janis: now Janis: you are slow Janis: come on Grace: shhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: no Janis: [rings her all the times] Grace: 🙌💜 Janis: picked you up yet Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: they're slow too, hello Grace: I've been saying that this entire time Janis: told them where you are or what Grace: mhmmm just gonna send them the location so they can hang Janis: do it then Grace: I 👏 AM 👏 BUSY Janis: no, you aren't Grace: Oooh this boy says he knows you Grace: very ginger, very aggressive 👋 Janis: okay Janis: that's nice Janis: off you pop Grace: he is not cute, babes Janis: what a tragedy Janis: start dialling or I'm gonna come over Grace: No you're not Grace: you never wanna be where I am Grace: & neither does your actually cute bf Janis: correct Janis: that's not what it's about so do it Grace: Just let me have a night off OMG!!!!!!!!! Grace: you get to do everything you want Janis: so Janis: you aren't me and you don't know what you want Janis: sort it out Grace: yeah okay I'll figure all that out in the AM Janis: no, you won't Janis: we're coming so you can think about it all you like once they're done Grace: STOP Janis: why should I Grace: cos I'm asking you to Grace: cos you're my sister & you don't even love me Janis: so you think you can just say and do all that fucked up shit and I'm not gonna stop you Janis: I don't think so Grace: What do you what me to say or do? Janis: I've been clear, call mum and dad and get them to come get you Grace: & after that?? Grace: Why do you want me to be all alone like?????? Janis: they're going to talk to you, work something out Grace: they're gonna talk at me and we'll all 😭😭 & nothing will be any different literally Grace: not drunk enough for that yet soooooo Janis: try listening yeah Grace: they're the MOST cringe though 😱😱😱 Janis: then you should agree Grace: 😂😂 okay bitch Janis: mhm Janis: they're waiting, like Grace: UGH Janis: yeah Janis: they've said they'll text so I'm not going Grace: What did you say? Janis: why? Grace: cos I wanna know how bad the freakout will be Grace: what did you say about me? Janis: what you said Janis: no need to lie, you gave it all up Grace: so you just told them everything Janis: all the relevant info, yeah Grace: I literally can't go home EVER Janis: yeah you can Grace: How could you do that to me!?? OMG Janis: how could I not Janis: not cosigning on that shit Grace: cos it's none of their business what I do Grace: or yours but at least you're not like OLD Janis: you're their kid, that's literally all their business is Grace: So are you! You don't let them tell you anything Janis: they're still meant to try Janis: and they do Grace: I hate this Janis: good Janis: you're not totally crazy then Grace: can't you come instead? Grace: I'd take Rio over them rn Janis: probably don't Janis: when she have her last kid, probably hormonal Janis: well I ain't got a car and we know how you feel about me stealing one but I can come Grace: IOU 💜 Grace: screenshot that in case I'm more drunk than I think I am Janis: you're always more drunk than you think you are Janis: forget about it, like Grace: me or like everyone? Grace: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: you, specifically but yeah Janis: most in general Grace: my ex isn't if you wanna fight him Grace: cos you wanna fight most people Janis: which one Grace: this one Grace: oh you mean how many hookups ago duh Janis: i mean name, any other identifiers, even then, unlikely i'll remember Grace: Tyler Grace: he's not white that helps him stand out in my exes line up Grace: hmmm Grace: short and mad about it? Grace: that's his identifier with me but shhh Janis: 😂 Janis: oh right, can recall that one then Grace: he does NOT like you, babes Grace: too tall obvs Janis: 💔 Janis: gutted, obvs Janis: his 👀 are chest height and everything, that I remember Grace: IKR?! Grace: he was so 😣😣😣 cos I had my 👠s on Grace: boy they weren't for you! I'm SORRY Janis: probably gonna wanna steal some shoes if you're coming with me though Grace: ??? Janis: 👟 Janis: you'll be like a  baby 🦒 on ice Grace: are we walking all the way home? Janis: depends Janis: send us your location and I'll see what I can do Grace: [does] Janis: we could walk that Janis: but we can get a bus like 10 minutes from there if you need Grace: Today has been the literal WORST from the moment I agreed to the fair idc Janis: that means no complaints then yeah Grace: can I do them now cos I've been so excited to go out with him since I met him and then FINALLY it comes around & ugh Janis: seemed like a moody prick Grace: boys are such liars Grace: like okay you're nothing like you were that day in town & you're actually 19 & I don't think you even wanna be here Janis: yep Janis: girls too, in fairness Janis: you're just used to that and not trying to fuck 'em so Grace: I just thought he was different, nice or something Grace: like you said I should go out with Janis: yeah well Janis: never said it'd be easy, like Janis: few and far between Grace: I tried really hard Grace: Like REALLY Grace: it's so stupid Janis: ain't your fault he was a twat Grace: I fell for it Grace: nice lads aren't here for me, obvs, I should've known Grace: I literally do know Janis: it ain't that simple Grace: It is though Grace: I'm a bitch Grace: Is Jimmy coming? Janis: don't worry about that right now Janis: nah, he don't need to Grace: Tell him I'm sorry then Janis: bit rude i don't get one Janis: it's fine Grace: I mean for everything Grace: Mia Grace: since he got here Janis: yeah Janis: pretty mental, even for you lot Grace: I told her, I keep telling her Grace: cos I am happy for you, like Janis: alright, I'll tell him Grace: Believe me though Janis: I do Janis: don't be weird, like Grace: you have to cos I love you, okay? Grace: but idk what to do about her Janis: I can handle her Janis: he can too Janis: but she's genuinely just Janis: you know Janis: you need to handle her too, yeah Grace: I don't work with her though Grace: or without Grace: cos she's not talking to me rn & look Janis: bollocks Janis: she would've told you to go for it with that lad Janis: come on Grace: I met him because she was being a bitch about you that day he was over at our house & I made her leave Grace: I wouldn't have gone into town on my own otherwise Janis: you could've met him any time Janis: and it's not about him Janis: you've gotta admit, he's not exactly out of character in your ex line-up Janis: can't think like that Grace: she would've said no & none of this would have happened so Tyler wouldn't have picked me up & mum & dad wouldn't think I'm a sex worker Janis: I didn't tell them you were a sex worker Janis: and she only would've said no 'cos she'd wanna be watching us so that's not like she's looking out for you Janis: not like she's got a sixth sense for dickheads herself Grace: I hate her Grace: I hate my life Janis: yeah Janis: I know Janis: you've got to get rid of her at some point Grace: Why don't you love me? Janis: Grace Janis: it'd just be easier if we didn't Janis: for all of us, you especially Grace: what does that mean???? Janis: it only hurts if you love or care or Janis: whatever Grace: but its not about Edie cos you didn't love me before Grace: & you love him, your boyfriend so Grace: what did I do? Janis: that's not true Janis: I don't know Janis: maybe I can't Grace: but you literally love him Janis: no I don't Grace: It's everywhere, all over everything Grace: I can't be on my phone without seeing it Grace: or in the same room as you Janis: yeah and how many of your exes did you actually love Grace: that's not the same Grace: I don't look at them like that & they'd never look at me like it either Grace: it's so fake, it has to be if I'm in it Janis: I've not known him that long Janis: no one has, like Grace: So? Janis: can't be in love with someone you don't know, right Grace: I know when I've done the wrong thing like IMMEDIATELY Grace: maybe you can still feel something that soon when it's good too idk Grace: not the right person to ask about love Janis: noted, babe Janis: just saying, think lots of people fake it Grace: Yeah Grace: sometimes you have to & sometimes you want to Janis: do you want to? Grace: when? Grace: I fake like everything, babes, you need to hit me with specifics Janis: well that's what I mean Janis: if your ratio is mostly wanting to, then I guess that's alright Janis: but it ain't so Grace: it's like I have to pretend I'm not freaking out whenever a boy touches me but I want to pretend that's not always gonna be a thing Grace: specifics Grace: I have to be friends with Mia but I don't want to Janis: Why do you have to Grace: ??????? Janis: be friends with her Grace: like I said, it's too late Grace: I can't go back and not tell her everything or have her with me for everything Grace: idk how to do things without her anymore Grace: I need her even if I don't like her Janis: 'course you can Janis: look at us, we're blood relatives and we manage Janis: you don't want her fucking up everything you do forever Grace: I'll have her to blame that way though Grace: if it's just me, it's literally me Janis: nah Janis: family album full of people you can blame Janis: easy Janis: swear Grace: she hates you & I wanna hate you, sometimes Grace: so I thought that would be easy Janis: yeah but she also wants to live in my skin so Janis: complicates matters Grace: but like same ?? so Janis: now you see why I didn't wanna come to those sleepovers Grace: fine cos I don't want you there being prettier than me Janis: 😏 yeah right Grace: ugh Janis: you alright Grace: I just didn't wanna cry here, you know? Grace: he'll think it's about him Janis: go outside Grace: I wish screaming I DON'T LOVE YOU BYE actually meant that Grace: instead of making people think I do Janis: screaming anything don't really help your case Janis: try 🤐 Grace: actually can't though, sorry Grace: 💘 or 🤐 Janis: I've got headphones Janis: it's fine Grace: Where's Jimmy's mum? Janis: not coming to pick you up, can tell you that for certain Grace: Is she dead? Janis: Don't know Janis: did Bobby talk about her lots then Grace: He asked me if we've got one Grace: & said that he doesn't Janis: yeah, she pissed off, about the sum of it Janis: don't know if he knows that or what though so Grace: Maybe he was too little Grace: he's so sweet Janis: yeah, pretty cute Grace: like really gentle, little lads are normally so loud & annoying Janis: girls are well worse Janis: especially the ones in this family Grace: duh Grace: you can say I'm most annoying, babes 👑 treat yourself Janis: was talking about the actual children, like but you know Janis: fight a toddler if you need to, babe Grace: Oh so I'm an actual child when a 19 year old lies to me but not when I want a 👑 Grace: so rude Janis: that's life Janis: don't make the law up, soz Grace: 💔 Janis: I'll run for PM when I get a sec Grace: I love that for you Janis: obvs Janis: no 👑 Grace: but you have any food?? Janis: food? Grace: I'm so hungry like all the time 😱😱😱 aren't you? Janis: nah 'cos I eat enough and at the right times Janis: I've passed hundreds of kebabbies and shit, we'll go get something Grace: 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Janis: who's gaff even is this Grace: UM idk Grace: his cousin maybe? Grace: no his uncle Grace: no Janis: don't need the family tree, I get the vibe Janis: are there any other girls from school there like Grace: that's a real no Grace: I would not be here Janis: ugh Grace: if I'm gonna commit suicide I'll do it myself thanks Grace: don't need them or their insta stories Janis: not my main concern Grace: ?? Janis: it'd be better if it was an actual party with school people Janis: not his cousin uncle and co Grace: Why? Janis: because why would he bring you around his older male relatives Janis: what do you have in common with him, never mind them Janis: it's so dangerous, Grace Grace: I didn't know it was gonna be this sketchy Grace: that's not what he said Janis: yeah well boys lie, remember Janis: it's fine, I'm only a few streets away now, apparently Grace: I'm outside so we can just leave, yeah? Grace: it's not gonna be like a thing Janis: nah I well fancy going in there and shouting my head off and all Grace: you know what I mean Janis: if you're outside then yeah, what am I gonna do Grace: I'm sorry Janis: at least you are okay this time Janis: I meant it when I said something's gonna happen though Grace: It won't even I'm so done Janis: alright, well you all say that when you feel like shit Janis: general you that time Grace: he's deleted Janis: 👌 Grace: Like, I'll obvs get new shitty exes but no need to go back here Janis: screenshot that one, yeah? Grace: 💜 Grace: he's not that cute, I was just over all the white boys Grace: no offense Janis: variety is the spice of life Janis: though literally no idea who that ginger you're talking about is Grace: I think he thinks you slept with his gf?? Grace: I set him straight on that, literally Janis: ha gutted i did that Janis: shh Grace: No way you would've, he showed me a pic & you can do so much better, babes Grace: trust Janis: awks Janis: poor ginge Grace: he wouldn't stop shouting at me like excuse me we're not the same person Grace: as if I'm gonna turn around and you're the back of my head Janis: you probably telepathically told me to do it though Janis: know what twins are like Grace: if she was cute, sure Janis: i don't think that helps us sound any less weird Janis: glad you went with a different clapback Grace: there's worse things than homewrecking someone that ugh Grace: but 👌👌 Janis: not taking that one for the team Janis: no matter how much of a cunt he was Janis: soz Grace: fine, wouldn't wanna risk barista boy's 💘 anyway Grace: a bitch but not that bitch Janis: shut up idiot Grace: he's so highkey 😍😍😍 & I think that's nice Janis: shame he ain't coming Janis: be hilarious if you said that to his face Janis: for me anyway Grace: I've seen enough PDA thank you Janis: you were definitely told to leave so Grace: I'm still mad at you btw Grace: & you can't make me leave a coffee shop, bitch Grace: I was mid ☕ Janis: that weren't my idea Grace: idc still 😱😱😱 Janis: your mates shouldn't bitch so loudly, like Grace: 🙄🙄 I know Grace: I'm so over it Janis: seems exhausting Janis: having to give a shit about what everyone else is up to all the time Grace: mhmmmmmm Janis: and just to be bitches Janis: seriously Grace: they're just hung up on you specifically cos every boy they want has asked you out & you said no Grace: boys they can't even get Grace: like it's your fault you're prettier than them Grace: when they have nobody to blame for how petty they are trying to be Grace: it's so boring & ridiculous!!! Janis: should fuck 'em just to really make it worth their rage but Janis: do you do it too, when it ain't me Grace: Ew no don't Grace: &? I know what I am, honey Janis: unlikely, reasons I said no Janis: I mean, it's probably easy to fall into that way of being Janis: like when you left all your shit at CG Grace: Okay no Grace: not talking about that with you ever Janis: why not, I literally had to give you your stuff Janis: we all know what it was Grace: exactly so we don't have to go there Janis: alright Grace: are you here or do I have time to kms? Janis: not trying to embarrass you Janis: and yeah not far Janis: this is just the longest street ever for some reason Grace: you should stop smoking with that boy Janis: please Grace: mhmm please do Janis: we're a long way from you giving anyone lectures Janis: let alone me Grace: it's still gross & you're already way thinner than me Janis: the ulterior motive comes out Janis: don't smoke enough for that, or lung disease, tah Grace: you can get fucked up by his sexy smoke rings, babes Grace: but sure Janis: that's 2nd-hand Janis: it's worse 'cos all the co2 you breathe out Janis: smoking yourself, way safer Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I'll take it up then Janis: you'd have to get 'em off weird john Janis: no way you ain't getting ID'd Janis: any safety is dashed tbh, wouldn't bother if I were you Grace: excuse you literally have 19 year olds falling at my feet so Grace: well almost Janis: that like underage girls but sure Janis: probably ducked when he realised how virginal you ain't Grace: Yeah Grace: 2 years too late, sorry boy Janis: ick Janis: leave it out Grace: ????? Janis: that's too young Janis: it's depressing Grace: I know, I cried for like a week Janis: stop thinking about it now Janis: and chatting Janis: drive me to drink Grace: you can share this one Janis: alright, had enough earlier Janis: one of us should be vaguely sober Grace: did you sneak it into the fair while I was babysitting? Janis: ha Janis: after, went pub Grace: Oh okay Janis: did you think i was drunk Janis: was just a sugar high, like Grace: you left ASAP and I did when you got back Grace: literally wouldn't know Janis: did think it was a bit of a jump Grace: it's so rude that I can't get in anywhere & you can Janis: I'm tall Janis: and you've got a babyface Grace: like I said, so rude Janis: blame mum and dad Janis: neither of them brought it in the height department Grace: I blame avó, she's who I look like Grace: & she has that direct 🙏🙏🙏 line to god, obvs so Grace: she could have put in a word for me not to look like this Janis: get that you ain't meant to be a braggy cunt Janis: but bit of a slap in the face to call out one of his creations and say 'not again, thanks' Grace: 😂😂 Janis: also she'd give you a slap in the face for that one so let's hope she ain't in the kebab Grace: she'd wanna hit me for lots of things I do but Jesus loves a whore Grace: & she's never ate anywhere that isn't ours either Grace: doubly saved 🙌 Janis: 😏 Janis: not suggesting she's been out on the piss tbh Janis: it's late as hell and not midnight mass vibes, like Grace: if you're going that hard of the blood of christ, maybe just marry him tbh Janis: gutted she didn't Janis: probably can't dump your kid to be a nun though Janis: unfortunate for us all Grace: maybe I'll go become one Grace: can you vlog it? Janis: considering the vow of poverty, don't think you can show up with thousands worth of filming equipment, no Grace: tragic Janis: not even to mention all the others i think you'd struggle with Grace: well it's just mean if you don't tell me now Janis: come on then, I see you Janis: tell you all about it Grace: 👋 Grace: you look so pretty OMG Janis: let's not be texting and walking rn babe Grace: 👌👌👌