#and then it's nearly 5 am and im remembering the time my uncle came into my bubble tea shop while i was working
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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Me painting my nails all black at almost 5 am when I have to be up by 10 to work at 11
Thinking to myself, "Ah. I really am not doing okay."
#speculation nation#negative/#i guess.#i keep wavering on whether im coping fine or not#im trying. trying to not linger too much. trying to just live my life and continue pursuing my interests#tricking myself that everything is okay. smiling and laughing and enjoying the little things#and then it's nearly 5 am and im remembering the time my uncle came into my bubble tea shop while i was working#a surprise visit. and i got to take his order & recommend him things. a nice little thing.#im remembering trips with him. him driving and me being a little wallflower. but my family expects this so it's okay#im remembering my birthday. this year. where i was free from school and so looking forward to the summer#and then like a week later i got the news that my uncle had cancer. and a week after that my cat died.#and i got through it. i worked on getting better. i was starting to get better. & then i got the call from my dad#that my uncle was in the hospital again. and a week and a half later he was dead.#and here i am now. nearly 3 weeks later. and what do i have to show for it?#with cassy i cried 14 times in one night. it felt like a stab in the chest. a horrible wound. one i still flinch from remembering.#with my uncle... i had time to prepare myself. i began grieving well before he died. so it wasnt such a horrible shock to my system#instead... it feels like ive been slowly bleeding out. a gaping wound that isnt closing no matter how much i desperately try to.#bc the fact of the matter is that this is family. my uncle. who ive known my entire life. & who i was pretty close to#at least compared to my aunts on my mom's side. ive always been closer to my family on my dad's side.#it's not going to go away so soon. i know this. and it doesnt help that ive been away from my family for so much of this.#the memorial is in a week. im hoping it will help to heal the wound. at least a little bit.#i hate living life feeling like i have a hole in my chest. i hate losing people i love.#animal death ment/#death/#regardless. my nails are black. and it's time to go to sleep.
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volvolts · 4 years ago
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trying again. im gonna talk about my ocs. its pretty long and kinda incoherent idk
first start with robin
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idk how to make the picture smaller so im sorry
- her name is robin wright and she’s 17
BACKSTORY
- her mom is a cyberneticist and her dad is a neurosurgeon. they do research on cyborg’s disease and have a company that makes prosthetics. they’re really rich because if it
- robin also had a twin brother named ronan (she’s the younger twin btw). he died when they were 15 because he had a rare case of cyborg’s disease in the brain. his death was so traumatizing for her that she doesn’t remember the months surrounding his death. she doesn’t even remember the funeral
- after ronan’s death, robin’s parents put her into isolation for two years. they pulled her out of her classes and activities and she barely got human interactions during this time
- eventually she had enough and begged to be allowed out which they do--as long as she has a bodyguard with her at all times. the problem? robin had a hard time getting along with most of them. in fact, ryuji is kind of a last resort. if she doesn’t get on well with him, she’ll most likely be isolated until further notice
random facts
- she’s really smart, a natural genius you could say. she was on her third year in college before she was pulled from it (she’s studying to be a neurosurgeon like her father). she’s one of those organized highlighter/color coded note takers too
- robin is a very compassionate person and is compelled to help others as much as she can. 
- stubborn and determined, she’ll pursue nearly everything and won’t back down until she has answers. sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop and accidentally oversteps her boundaries. it’s not because she’s needlessly nosy but because she wants to know the whole story before she can help them
- she has a overactive imagination and would end up thinking up outlandish ideas to fill in the blanks of things she doesn’t know
- robin is one of those people who’s polite and reserved if she doesn’t know you but will talk your ear off when she’s comfortable with you
- she closer with her father, which is why she’s studying the same subject that he works in
- both of her parents are incredibly successful and she’s expected to do something similar so she has a lot on her shoulders
- she hasn’t worked a day in her life but she has unusually strong endurance and stamina
- she has a dog! he’s a golden retriever and his name is beck. he’s an old dog and she loves him very much 
next is ryuji
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- his name is ryuji lor and he’s 22
- he also goes by “ryder” (technically he’s supposed to go by that throughout most of my half-baked story because he never told anyone is real name but that’s beside the point)
- he’s a quarter japanese and three quarters se asian (not really sure what kind yet but im thinking somewhere within the vietnam/laos area)
BACKSTORY 
- a bit of TW: FAMILY ABUSE in this passage so skip if it bothers you:  his mom got pregnant with him while she was in college and because her boyfriend bailed on her and stress of the pregnancy and burnout she dropped out and went back to her family. she was seen as “the good one” of the family and was expected to get a good job to get her family out of poverty however when she came back they were incredibly bitter that she “failed” and would verbally and emotionally put her down. They also blamed ryuji because if he wasn’t born then she wouldn’t have dropped out and he was often ostracized because of it. 
- fortunately he and his mom left when he turned 5. they lived in a small apartment and had to get lots of help from neighbors and friends to make ends meet (mostly to babysit ryuji while his mom worked). ryuji vowed to get smart and get a good job to give his mother the life she deserves (and partly because he feels a part of her really does hate him and he wants to make it up to her somehow because if he doesn’t, was he just a parasite like what his aunts and uncles said?)
- when he turned 10, his mom got married and how he has two moms. they’re hard on him but it’s from a place of love so he tries his best to be a good son by studying and staying out of trouble
- at 17, ryuji has a bit of hope ahead of him. he has a part time job, good grades, and maybe a scholarship if he could qualify. suddenly he’s diagnosed with cyborg’s disease in his eyes and arm. they can’t afford either of his surgeries, let alone one. and that’s not going into the prosthetics and rehab afterwards. at night when they think he’s asleep, ryuji hears his moms arguing about how they’ll be able to afford any of it and what they’ll have to do to pay for it. 
- he can’t take it anymore. he runs away
- he ends up in a city he doesn’t recognize and is just allowing himself to die but he gets saved by irving, a back alley repair doctor. he gets prosthetics thanks to her but is now in a massive debt so he works as her assistant and also finds other jobs on the side to repay it
- his backstory is getting really long so things happen in ryuji’s attempt to make money and he ends up also working with ace, who leads an organized crime group, as a handler whose job is to fight/intimidate/kill whoever. 
- a sudden coincidence also ends up working as robin’s bodyguard which starts everything. honestly he’s didn’t want to do this job at first but robin’s parents are willing to pay a good amount of money and it allows him to have time away from his jobs with ace
random facts
- he’s left hand but learned to be ambidextrous, however he’ll usually default to his left hand
- he wore glasses when he was younger (near sighted; it was super bad but he didn’t like it)
- he’s afraid of dogs. it’s not a full on phobia but they make him uneasy because of a childhood thing. (he’s more of a cat person and maybe pets a few stray cats that come across his house every once in a while)
- he doesn’t like people staring at him. he feels self-conscious because of the scar on his face and the shadowed bags under his eyes and people staring at him don’t help
- ryuji is really good with prosthetics repair and can go into in-depth discussions about the mechanics of it all; he actually really enjoys working on it and actually helped design his own arm
- he’s really smart but he had to work really hard to get there and because he never finished his education, he doesn’t really think he is either
- ryuji tries to give off a “i don’t care about anyone” bravado to try and distance himself from everything. but he really cares. like a lot. the few people he has in his life right now, he’s ride or die for them
- ryuji works himself to death to ignore his problems. he’s afraid if he stops moving, he’ll buckle under the pressure and stop forever
- he has a knife hidden in his prosthetic forearm which he will use if he feels threatened. (it’s probably a stiletto knife or something idk yet)
- ryuji is an early riser; waking up at 9 am feels like sleeping in to him. he’s not even that much of a morning person, its mostly out of habit
then there’s castor
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- his name is castor oda and he’s 24
- he’s japanese
BACKSTORY
- he lived in a really strict and controlling family who owned a business where he had his entire life planned out for him up to who he was going to marry. he’s always been angry about it because he has older siblings who will take over the company and it’s clear that more of a control and image thing than anything else
- when he went to college, it was his first time actually be away from his family and became friends with a guy named ben. 
- ben helped castor when his family kicked him out at 19 and gave him a place to stay until he could get back on his feet
- castor loved ben like a brother and is forever grateful for him
- ben mysteriously disappeared when they were 21 and everyone is pretty sure he’s dead but no one knows why
- castor wants to find closure on what happened because he’s definitely sure there’s something shady going on and he’s going to find out what.
- he’s an information broker, occasionally crossing paths with ace to relay and gather info but for the most part, castor has been working alone
- when he’s not doing that though, he works as a barista at a coffee shop
random facts
- he has cyborg’s disease in his right arm and when he lived with his family, he was deeply self-conscious about it
- he hasn’t spoken to his parents since they kicked him out but he still talks to his siblings sometimes; he’s the youngest child with two older sisters
- he always had an inkling that ben had romantic feelings for him, which was unrequited, and castor always felt a little guilty that he never reciprocated or that they never got to talk about it
- castor always wears his red scarf no matter the occasion or weather; he has more scarves but he just likes the red one the best
- people think he’s like calm and collected but in reality he’s an impulsive, emotional driven idiot just like the rest of us
- however he is the master of the polite business smile because of his strict upbringing
- he’s a rather disorganized person
next is irving
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- her name is ellie irving and she’s 35
- she’s half black, half white
BACKSTORY 
- i don’t have that much solidified for her backstory yet so it might change fyi
- irving had been doing cybernetic research back in college but someone plagiarized her work and submitted their paper before she came forward
- because the paper was published before she published hers, SHE was initially hit with backlash of plagiarism
- eventually they try to sort it out but in the end, while she proved she didn’t plagiarize the other, she couldn’t prove that she came up with the research first and they just terminated the both her and the plagiarist
- she was barred from going into higher cybernetics research and honestly she’s still a bit bitter about it
- she went into prosthetics repair instead but still struggled to find work because of her alleged reputation, which many still believed she stole another’s work
- eventually she manages to open up a shop that specializes in prosthetic repairs and replacements
random facts
- she’s really harsh and aloof, however she cares in her own way
- honestly irving doesn’t believe herself to be a good person due to how she feels she let herself to bitterly sulk in her anger for so long
- she smokes a bit but she’s trying to cut back lately
- irving won’t pry if you come to her with a broken arm and you need help; she’ll fix you up and leave it at that and allow you to come to her yourself
- she’s incredibly observant and can tell if your lying with just a glance
- she doesn’t know that ryuji works for ace; she’s concerned when he seems more tired than usual but she doesn’t know how to pry
last one cuz im tired
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his name is ace (i don’t have a last name for him) and he’s 32
- he owns an organized crime ring; im thinking he’s connected to something bigger and possibly something with the black market
- not much is known about him but he’s a charismatic man and has the intimidation factor 
- he flips his demeanor a lot. one minute he’s jovial and kind then the next he’ll give you thinly veil threats. he mostly does it to keep people on their toes so it’s a power thing
- begrudgingly he’s the closest thing to a father figure ryuji is gonna get
- also the jacket ryuji always wears? it’s a gift from ace
and that’s all i got so far! i have a lot more ocs but i don’t have have a lot of backstory for them yet. let me know what you think of these guys and feel free to ask questions!
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glacecakes · 4 years ago
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In which Hugo Nearly Fights a Toddler
Hugo's main rival for Varian's love isn't a suitor. It's a child. A slightly bratty royal child.
I meant to repost this as like, fully available on tumblr, but im a moron and just reposted the link from last night. rip. I am also now taking Varigo fic requests! See my other oneshots here
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Hugo didn’t hate all children, it’s just… he hated the one that he knew.
Varian insisted he was being ridiculous, but what did he know? He was her uncle, it was his job to like the little brat. And she certainly didn’t help, with her clinging and yelling and crying, and how Andrea stole the last crepe at breakfast the other day when he clearly called dibs!
The hatred was mutual, too. Anytime Hugo and Varian were together, Andrea would grab onto Varian and drag him away from Hugo. And everytime, without fail, she’d turn and stick her tongue out at him! He always stuck his out in return, of course, because what the hell else can he do? Fight a literal toddler for his boyfriend’s hand?
With Andrea’s 5th birthday came a slew of the festivities Corona was famous for. Dancing, singing, music, the whole shebang. Hugo would’ve been glad to spend it like all the rest: holed up the Library, only coming out to steal Varian from his royal duties and drag him back to their room and not leave until late the next morning, when he would smugly announce Varian wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be attending the day’s ceremonies. And he usually scheduled that day to be the final festival day, when the closing ball happens.
Unfortunately, since this was Andrea’s birthday, he was stuck fulfilling the whims of the brat princess, and all she wanted for her birthday was for her Best Uncle Varian to attend a ball for once and dance with her.  
Which meant no sneaking away from the festivities, no stealing his boyfriend, no fooling around and weaseling their way out of royal duties.
The worst part was that Varian was willing to do it! It’d be one thing if they got to share in their hatred of nobility and all the stifling activities it entailed, but Varian was more than happy to agree for Andrea’s sake. He was weak to her puppy eyes.
“Seriously?” Hugo had complained to her. “We could make you like almost anything.”
“No!” Andrea had stomped her little mary-jane clad foot, the perfect image of a spoiled princess. “You always hog him!” She’d whined.
“He’s my boyfriend, that’s my job.”
“Well you’re fired!”
Varian had laughed himself to tears when Hugo told him that.
Here’s hoping any kids they had wouldn’t be as spoiled…
Hugo had mentioned that off-handedly once, and once they all got over the shock of Oh my God Hugo wants to marry Varian and have kids, Varian had been quick to argue otherwise.
“Babe, you will literally drop whatever you’re holding to hug me. Like, let it crash onto the floor,” He’d laughed. “There is no way you won’t spoil our kid silly. You’re just jealous of Andy.”
“I am NOT!”
And it’s true! He was definitely not jealous of a child. Not jealous of how Varian was willing to ditch Hugo for her, or how he let Andrea help him with their lab experiments even if she often ruined them, or how he’d gladly make toys for her but when Hugo asks for something it’s always “Hugo, we’re not building a death ray security system, that’s a terrible idea.” or “No, I’m not getting you a bow and arrow from the market, you’re just gonna try and hunt Eugene down.” Not that Varian doesn’t get him stuff, quite the opposite. It’s just not the stuff that he needs.
(He doesn’t actually need it, he just likes being dramatic for dramatic’s sake. That and it makes Varian laugh.)
Anyway. The point is Hugo is being forced to go to a birthday party ball and he hates it.
Well, that’s not entirely true. Varian looks breathtaking with his hair slicked back and teal work outfit swapped for a more formal beige suit. Hugo was pretty satisfied with his own attire too, choosing just a simple white dress shirt and black pants. He wasn’t the center of attention tonight, and he’d like to keep it that way. If he had to play nice with a bunch of stuffy nobles and diplomats he might actually explode.
Thankfully, he was allowed to play the part of Varian’s arm accessory, a part he adored and took very seriously. Could you blame him? Varian was a hell of a catch, with his enchanting baby blue eyes and adorable freckled face, and his hands were so soft and sleek despite his day job. He wasn’t the only one who noticed Varian’s good looks, clearly.
One noble, whose name Hugo didn’t care nor want to learn, had been eyeing Varian whenever he passed by, and he passed by often. The guy didn’t even try to hide his glances, looking Varian up and down hungrily. Every time he walked by, Hugo couldn’t help but squeeze his arm around Varian a little tighter, and Varian would simply hum and rest his head on Hugo’s shoulder for a moment.
“I gotta go find Andy,” He muttered, letting go of Hugo, but not without a chaste kiss on the cheek. With that, Varian slid into the crowd, awkwardly trying to avoid small talk with the other nobles in attendance as he went. Varian hates these events just as much as Hugo, he just does a better job at hiding it.
Speaking of shitty nobles, here comes that guy again. He’s wearing the red of Ingvarr, black hair slick with gel save for one stray hair on his forehead. His face is etched with a smirk, not unlike a cat about to snap the neck of its prey. He skulks up to Hugo with that smarmy look and Hugo represses the urge to sock him in the face.
The noble looks Hugo up and down like he’s debating whether or not to eat him. “Ah, I see your little bird has flown away for the evening?”
“He went to go find the princess,” Hugo bites out, his eyes turning to scan the ballroom for either Varian or Andrea.
“Sure he did.” Clearly, the man didn’t believe him. “I don’t believe I know who you are, though I doubt that’s a problem.” Oh bitch he did not just do that. “Lord Ricket. And you are Lord Varian’s servant, I presume? Obviously that rose of Corona wouldn’t choose to be near you otherwise.”
His laugh was high pitched, as if the laugh escaped him on accident. God, this guy was everything Hugo hated about court. Varian, a rose? Please, the guy may seem small and delicate but was a walking disaster, anyone who spent more than 5 minutes with him knew it This is exactly why he didn’t want to come-
His steaming anger was cut off by a small hand slipping into his, warm and soft.
“Hugo,” Andrea whined, the u sounding more like an oo sound. Hugo would die before he admitted it was cute. “Uncle Varian needs you.” She tugged on his arm, trying to get him to move with all her little baby strength. It didn’t work. She simply stood at an angle, hair falling to the floor.
Hugo blinked. He’d never seen Andrea act like this to anyone but her parents, grandparents, and of course Varian. Her face was scrunched up with the effort of trying to move someone a good five times her size.
Lord Ricket blinked in shock at the little intruder. Recognizing the princess, his dark grin turned into a neutral frown and slunk back into the crowd of bodies. Andrea let go of Hugo’s hand and fell onto the floor with a soft thunk. Her dress spread out around her like a blanket, undoubtedly getting dirty.
“I hate balls,” She grumbled.
That got his attention. “You do?” He honestly expected Andrea to love this. She thrived on being the center of attention, and this would be no exception. The first of the new generation, all of the older royals loved to crowd her and shower her in praises, and she seemed to eat it up.
“Yea!” She yelled, raising her arms over her head, but making no movement to get up from the floor. “Everyone’s super boring, it’s all ‘nice to meet you’ and ‘I like your dress’! I don’t even like dresses, they’re itchy!”
Her complaints… they sounded so much like his own. The stuffy atmosphere, snooty rich people, awkward clothes, these were the things both he and Varian hated about balls, and it’s why they avoided them at all costs. The only thing that made these things worth his time…
...was Varian.
Hugo remembers his first ball in Corona. He’d been miserable. It was judgemental noble after judgemental noble, looking down at him because of his heritage, his past, his unorthodox relationship. If Varian hadn’t been there, Hugo would not have lasted 20 minutes without throwing an alchemy bomb.
Having Varian by his side to help him adjust his collar, gag at the nobles who tried to flirt, mock the petty arguments, those were what made formal events passable. Is that why Andrea wanted Varian here? Not to steal him for herself, but so she could have a like mind help her power through this? It was her first formal birthday ball, after all. This was technically Andrea’s introduction to court beyond hiding behind her mother’s skirts, hence the big fuss.
No wonder she wanted Varian here.
Hugo sighed. He felt like a total jerk. Well, he knew he’d been a jerk to dislike a toddler, but it felt justified. Now, not so much. Andrea’s arms were still stretched over her head, and Hugo leaned down to grab them in his own. With one quick motion, he pulled the little princess upright.
“Come on, let’s go find our favorite alchemist,” He said, and Andrea’s face lit up. Still holding his hands, she pulled him through the crowds, letting Hugo look over everyone’s heads to find him. It took a few minutes (how many people did Rapunzel invite?), but they finally spotted Varian chatting with Ricket, who seemed much more at ease. Varian, on the other hand, seemed very annoyed, his eyes flashing with rage. In any other situation, they guy would’ve gotten decked by the shorter alchemist.
Hugo and Andrea shared a knowing look. For all her bratiness, the girl was incredibly perceptive and smart. After all, her taste in people was impeccable.
“Uncle Varian!” She called, speeding up and making Hugo trip slightly as he tried to keep up. Said uncle’s face lit up considerably at the interruption, brightening even more when he saw who she was dragging around.
“Hey you two,” He grinned, and Andrea let go of one of Hugo’s hands to grab onto Varian’s. Reaching over the princess, he gave Hugo a peck on the cheek. “I was just talking to… Rickey?”
The lord’s face turned an ugly purple. “Ricket.” He gritted out. “I do believe I’ve been introduced to your…”
“Boyfriend. Not a servant.” Hugo supplied, grin stretching across his face.
“Yes, it was lovely to meet you… and you as well, princess, I’m honored to meet you.”
Andrea grinned a toothy smile. “I’m not.” Varian’s shoulders shook with hidden laughter.
The noble looked like he was struggling to swallow a grape. He at least had the manners to bow to Andrea before making his leave once more, hopefully for good. Varian hummed, leaning his head on Hugo’s shoulder and glancing down at Andrea.
“I see you two are getting along now?”
“For now, yup.” Hugo popped the p. “And I do believe you owe this young lady a dance? For shame, Varian.”
“Alright, Alright!” Varian lifted his head off of Hugo, and the taller mourned the loss. “I’m gonna need you to let go of her hand, though.”
“No!”
This shocked them both. “No?” Hugo asked.
“You gotta dance too!”
“Oh, now we can share him?” Varian smacked his boyfriend, but otherwise didn’t dispute the claim.
“Just for tonight.” The princess said, puffing up her chest as if she was making a royal decree, clearly copying her mother. She pulled the two of them back onto the dance floor, boyfriends grabbing hands as they went. The three were now forming a small circle, moving in time to the upbeat song now playing.
“Hey Andrea,” Hugo murmured. “You were kidding about the just tonight thing, right?”
“You can have him on weekends.”
“Wha- if anything I need him on weekdays!” The two bickered over custody the rest of the night, the sound of music and Varian’s laughter filling both of their ears.
So maybe Hugo didn’t hate her. But she was still a brat.
Good thing she had Hugo to guide her.
...He was so gonna recruit her to prank Eugene.
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reeree1500 · 5 years ago
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The Return-Part 4
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Okay y'all here's Part 4. OMG I cannot believe the amount of love that this story has gotten😍 it truly warms my heart, that an idea I had a while ago and have now just started writing has been loved by so many of you:) And with that lets get on to the storyyyy
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9
Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit @ragnarssonsbitch @mel0nch0ly @wuxiesalt
Disclaimer: My sucky ass writing as always:) Some slight insinuation of incest; Fluff (an attempt anyway);  And bad grammar and spelling (sorryyyy); Heart palpitations according to @yanii-the-hippie 😂 Hope you all enjoy☺️
Your POV
My head hurts so much that I feel as if I've just been hit by a carriage. The sounds of arguing around me do not help the situation at all.  So I try to not focus on the pain or the voices around me that won't subside and remember what happened. Images of Mira surface in my mind. Her corpse on the floor and the death rune carved into her back. My best friend and most trusted subject was killed because of me. I can't help but wince at the realization that I will never be rid of the death and chaos that I bring everywhere with me.
Fluttering my eyes open, my eyes wander looking for the source of those voices. As I begin to stand up from the very comfortable bed, I scan the room trying to find any trace of the people who were in here earlier. My eyes land on a pile of shirts neatly placed on the table. Walking towards them I come to notice that Im not in my dress anymore, but in what's seems to be a mans shirt. “Nice pair of legs you got there (y/n), wanna trade with me for a while?” At the sound of Ivars voice, I shriek and turn around whilst trying to pull down the shirt that is covering my body. “Ivar what the hell!” At the sound of my screaming Ivar just walks closer to me with a smirk gracing his perfect face. “W..what are you doing?!?!” His hands grasp onto mine and all I can do at that moment is stare back at him with my eyes and mouth open wide in shock. “You're gonna ruin my shirt if you continue to pull it down. Plus, you don't want me to see your breasts now do you?” At that, all the blood from my body rushes to my face. Turning me as red as an apple. 
Ivar grabs my face in his hands and his eyes scan over it. “I know we’ve just met. And its probably really wrong for me to feel what I‘m feeling, considering you're my sister. But, when you were unconscious it was probably the hardest thing I have gone through so far in my life. Not knowing if you would wake up was a nightmare that I could not wake up from.” Ivar says with an exasperated sigh. “Ivar....” I begin to say, but am soon interrupted by his lips placed on mine. I know I shouldn't reciprocate his feelings towards me or his kiss for that matter. But, the fact of the matter is that even in this short amount of time, this man has made feel things that I have not felt in my whole life. This man however is my brother and that is something that will not change. Soon the warmth of his soft and plump lips leave mine. Before I can say something about how inappropriate that was, Ivar is already walking towards the door. You know for a cripple he’s fairly fast. 
“You know (y/n) I’m so excited for what's in store in our future.” He says as he reaches the door. Rearing his head to where I still stand in utter shock of what just transpired seconds ago. “Especially, since we now share a room.” At that Ivar winks at me and leaves the room, with that smirk on his face. Once the door is closed my legs give out from underneath me. “Lord what have I just gotten myself into. It is wrong for me to have these sort of thoughts and feelings for my brother. Please give me the strength necessary in order to get through this.” As I look up and close my eyes I can only beg that he hears my prayer and somehow gives me the power to get through this. But knowing the almighty, something will happen.
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As the weeks went on by, we had buried Mira the Christian way. Although nearly no one shared my beliefs, it felt nice to be able to have Mira been given the respect she deserved. People had brought flowers and different types of gifts to me in order show me their condolences. On the outside I had to be strong and show them that whoever did this had not gotten to me. However, my family knew all too well the toll it took on me. Especially Ivar, who would hold me at night and whisper sweet nothings into my ear when I had the recurring nightmare of that night. The raid that was supposed to occur after the festival was cancelled. I had expected many people to be upset at the fact that it was. But what I saw was a community come together for someone they did not know. And that is what I missed the most about Kattegat. The people. My people.
Ragnar, Bjorn, and Ubbe had decided to lead an investigation into who had murdered Mira. So far they had gotten a couple of leads, but nothing that would certainly pinpoint who the culprit was. In his worry my father had decided to teach me how to fight, so that I would be able to defend myself if it came down to it. He knew that this was a personal attack on me. And a personal attack on a son or daughter of Ragnar Lothbrok was an attack on him too. “Come on my beautiful sister, we have some more training to do.” I can hear Hvitserk say as he comes up from behind me. “Is that really necessary Hvitty? We trained yesterday!” On the weeks that went by I could say that Hvitty and I got really close. Closer than probably me and Ivar are. After the kiss with Ivar, I had tried to put as much distance between myself and him. What we had done was wrong and a sin. And I could not allow myself to give in to such temptations. 
However, that doesn't mean that Ivar still didn’t try to get closer to me. Every chance he got I var would hold my hand or hug me from behind. I knew that people where beginning to get the wrong idea, as I had caught Margrethe talking about how “close” we were for siblings. As soon as I heard that I began to make sure to only talk or look at Ivar if necessary. Waking me up from my thoughts Hvitserk takes my hand and leads me out of the hall. “Im coming. Im coming. Calm down!” I cannot help but contain my laugh at Hvitserk’s desire to want to train with me. Its probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. “You look like a child anxious to play with a brand new toy, Hvitty.” At that Hvitserk lets out a chuckle. “Only of you're the brand new toy and I get to play with you everyday.” he winks at me as he says this. “Come on you're distracting me, let’s get to work. Legs shoulder width apart and make sure you have good balance...” 
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Bjorn POV
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“We must have gotten somewhere by now! I want whoever is responsible dead!” my father screams at Ubbe and I. “Father, we've searched through and through, but there are no certain leads! Its a he said she said situation thus far!” Ubbe yells back at him. “Do not tell me what I already know, boy! I just cannot help but feel useless and like I am not able to protect my own. We all know that that was supposed to be your sister dead, not that poor girl.” at that he trails off. My father has lost way too much over the years. Many friends have come and gone. But the way we buried Mira, could only remind him of his best friend Athelstan. The Christian priest that changed his life (and mine believe it or not) for the better. He was murdered too, and that has always been a constant reminder to him of someone he could not save.
“What I think that we should be doing instead of arguing is perhaps, finding someone who is good at unmasking people. Since none of us can seem to find who it could be.” I tell them both, getting tired of their back and forth arguing. “And who would you suggest Bjorn. No one can know that (y/n) is here, besides the people of Kattegat. Our enemies will know how to get us. Hell one of them probably was behind this!” my father reciprocates. “I think we all know who I’m talking about. Im just wondering if you'll be able to reel in and control that bitch of yours, when she gets here. Since I’ve already sent word to her.” I bark back at my father. I don't know if its because im sick of him treating me as if ill never be good enough. Or because (y/n)’s life is on the line, but I had never found the courage to stand up to my father, until now. At my words my father becomes silent. It might the loads of ale Ive had today, but I swear that I can see what seems to be pride in his eyes. “How long?” “One day’s ride” It is then that my father shouts to the thralls...
“Prepare the great Hall! The Queen is coming home!” 
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Your POV
As the hours went by and my training had somewhat gotten better, I pleaded with Hvitserk to do something else. “Okay!Okay! We’ll stop training! But what else do you want to do?” Hvitserk's says shielding his sword. “I don't know, back in Frankia Uncle Rollo used to take me to the lake and taught me how to swim. Is there a lake nearby?” At that Hvitserk looks at me like I‘ve grown horns and a huge smile breaks out. “Come on, let’s eat quickly and then I have somewhere I wanna take you!” Rushing towards me Hvitserk grabs my hand and we quickly run off towards the great hall. Once we both quickly swallow our food, we head to the stables. There we find non other than Ivar in what seems to be him being pleasured by a thrall. 
“Oh, Im so sorry. We didn't mean to intrude.” I say whilst quickly turning around. “Awww you're so cute (y/n), you’ve never seen or been pleasured before?!?!? Is that why you're as red as a tomato right now?” Hvitserk chuckles at me while trying to pry my hands away from my face. “Shut upppp!! Hvitty, get the horse and lets goooo!!” I chuckle nervously at him. “Its ok (y/n), you should take notes from Margrethe here. Who knows you might have to use them some day.” Ivar manages to say through his... compromising position. “Well Ivar, (y/n) and I are gonna go on a little adventure. Don't wait up...” At that Hvitserk grabs the reins on the horse and passes them on to me. “You know how to ride (y/n)?.” “Of course, Hvitty. Its literally my favourite thing to do.” “I’m glad to hear that. Now lets go!” And with that Hvitserk and I were off to God knows where. But one thing I knew for sure was that if Hvitserk was involved, we were sure to have a good time.
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Bjorn POV
Soon the day had gone by and it was just a matter of time before my mother was here. You could hear a pin drop in the great hall. The anxiousness that lingered in the air was so thick that you could probably cut it with a knife. My father could not stop bouncing his leg, some thing he did when he too was nervous or didn't know the outcome of certain events. My head quickly towards the doors when I heard the neighing and hooves of the horses. At that we all stood up and thats when both Ubbe and I noticed we were missing certain people. “Ivar, where's (y/n) and Hvitserk? They're supposed to be here or did you not tell them that we would have company tonight?” I whisper at him trying to not get noticed by father or Aslaug. “Probably fucking somewhere. You know they've gotten pretty close these past few weeks I wouldn't put it past them.” At that I just look at him shocked. “Are you sure it’s just him Ivar? Don't act like I haven’t caught you staring at our sister when she's taking bath or when she's walking around the market.”  Sigurd chimes in. “Whatever we will resume this conversation after this. But send someone to get those two here. NOW!” 
When I turn back I am able to see my father already walking towards the door with the family behind him. Making my way outside I catch a glimpse of my mother on horseback. The most beautiful woman to grace the earth and the most skilled in combat. She taught me everything I know and for that I could never thank her enough. Behind me came up my wife Torvi, I smile down at her and hold her hand. She knows that I will do anything for my family, especially my mother and sister. And I will protect them at any cost. As my mother gets down from her horse I immediately go towards her and give her a hug. “You know that surprise I told you about in the letter. Well, I have an even better one now.” I say whilst chuckling in her ear. “My son, how many times do I need to tell you that Im not so easily surprised.” She laughs back at me. You don’t know what's in store mother...
After much due catching up with my mother. It’s time to get down to business. Father fills mother in about the fact that there has been a murder the night go the spring festival. My mother begins to ask questions on how we've conducted the investigation, to which Ubbe fills her in. I cant seem to pry my eyes away from the doors. Hoping that my sister and brother walk into the hall safely. It’s been hours and no one has heard or seen of them. “Bjorn, are you okay? You're not really focused on the matter at hand?” Torvi says while placing her hand on my knee. “Yeah...Yeah, Im fine just a little anxious thats all.” At that she leaves it alone. It is then that we hear some jugs fall over and loads of laughter. “Hvitty get upppp. Everyone is gonna knowwww....” I can hear the slurs of my younger sister.  “Pfttt.. Like they careeee, were just having some funnnn....” Great these two are drunk of their asses and dropping shit everywhere. It is then that they both enter the hall. (Y/n) is carrying Hvitserk, in what seems to be a futile attempt to act normal. But when her eyes land on the blonde graying hair of our mother she drops Hvitserk and immediately you can see that she sobers up. 
“Mama...”
At that my mother stops talking. And her eyes begin to well up with tears. “No. it cannot be. It’s the gods playing tricks on me.” My mother says whilst looking down, refusing to turn around. My father gets up from his chair and kneels beside my mother. “It is true. She is here, come with me. I promise you she will not be taken from you again.” My father’s voice cracks at the end. As I truant where my sister stands I can see the pan and suffering coursing through her body. Her eyes show a small child that was ripped from her safe place and placed in an evil and hungry world, that only wanted to make her suffer. As my mother and father stand up I catch a glimpse of Aslaug and her stone cold face. That is filled with rage and what seems to be a predatory glare towards my sister. Trying to put it to rest and not say anything, I turn towards my parents. My father holds may mother in his arms as to keep her from falling over. “ My baby girl. Tell me that this was not dream that Ive had for the past 6 years and that you're actually here with me.” My mother manages to say through her tears. But,(y/n) is barely able to get anything out through her sobs. All she does is run to where my mother and father stand and embraces them. At that they all fall to the floor in their embrace. Hvitserk is now standing beside me. Watching, with the rest of us the reunion of a mother with her child. In my daze of being focused on my parents and sister reuniting I fail to realize that both Torvi and Aslaug are missing......
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Aslaug POV
“She should have been dead!!! What part of kill the insolent bastard child do you not understand!” I scream at Torvi. “You did not tell me that she was the daughter of Ragnar and Lagertha. Much less Bjorn's sister!” I had ordered Torvi to kill (y/n) so that what I had done that night many years ago, would not come back to haunt me or my family. I did this in order to protect them. That insolent child will only bring death with her. The death of our gods. And that is something I will not allow. I had faked to not have known about her existence all that time ago, but I cannot put past me the prophecy that was foretold by the volva. I will do anything in my power to make sure that she gets nowhere near my sons. For I rather die then see an era were Vikings and Christians alike are one people.... “When Helga and Floki get to the dock. Report back to me immediately and tell Floki that he has an unfinished job from 6 years ago.” As I stare at my husband and his so called “family” I cannot help, but get a bad feeling about this. 
That Christian child will pay for coming between my family....
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myheartbeatskids · 5 years ago
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So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.
And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.
So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.
And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.
I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.
So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.
So then essentially i was kidnapped.
Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.
Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.
So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.
Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.
It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.
Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.
So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.
So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.
So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.
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This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.
Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.
So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"
And Bria after me.
Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.
She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.
Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.
They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.
Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.
And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.
Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually
Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.
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This is Declan.
He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"
Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!
"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"
Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...
Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.
So i didn't take it seriously enough.
But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.
So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.
The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....
Yet I still don't agree that it was.
However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.
And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.
So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....
But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.
As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!
Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.
I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.
So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.
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So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.
So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.
So 360° K i own.
So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.
I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.
Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...
I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.
We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.
They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.
I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.
One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.
But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.
Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.
You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.
We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.
And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...
Cargo my bitches!
Jesse: No! I only ask!
Me: who do i have to convince?
Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?
Me: Ava who is your dad?
Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah
Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?
She nods all teary..
Jesse: well did i get loves?!
Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!
Jesse: well it got gas now!!!
Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.
Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.
Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.
Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!
Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.
Jesse: WHOA SHIT!
Me: Jeremiah you down?
Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?
Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!
Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go
Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me
Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.
Matt: IN!!
Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?
Pops: not if i don't have to
M3: you don't
Pops: shit! Oh yeah!
Chuck: what about Cookie!!
Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to
Chuckie: oh Cookies going!
Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.
Jesse: yes you did!
Me: no wonder it looked familiar.
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bloojayoolie · 7 years ago
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Af, Anime, and Apparently: , Okay Ibl, story ame when I wss younger, had this Irish friend who pred our school when w as like 17, Dude ded recently nd here丐the ballad of the merveeus bsstard be average as fuck 17 year old Bribong Some foreign guy has just joined, his family just moved here city called Dery in Mgved here with his dad and his lite sister, his mum died when he was younger He gets put in my class and ends up stting nest to me This is howl met Eigh-Beers Mgee the all him Call him a hippo because of his fucking industrial size frant teeth and his big flucking lps Greg uses his adism to get out of doing and saying whatever the fuck he wants noing EB wth she lke Greg has his desk very paricularly arranged, pens on one side in a straight ine pencis on the other Dude is OCD as fuck with his pencilcase and shit Goes nuts i anything gets moved, so this desk is sightly apart from everyone elses We all get in shit twe fuck with him an purpose, We ought to know better The sutistic hippo keeps trying to get a reaction out of EB the whole class All af a sudden EB just casualy raises a foot and pushes the Hppo's desk right the fuck over Teacher hurries oer and trying to explan to EB atma Gregs autism while Greg teaks the tack G in his chair, breathing reawy ss thoug gh nong bd sheer辍tstie resentment EB looks at Greg and betsthe teacher "Oh sorry, wedant have Wid bump with more nenhinbeland' h on EB's third day at our school He's a pretty cool guyikes the 쑈me vidya and movies as me and is a big fan of Rugby, was captan of his team back iieland ell hem the school has s rughy searn he says EB goes to check it out, starts off on the lower team because hes think theyire ston of kind of fast runners gets recks fucking everyone that next hal f hel take him Jumps on him, grabs him by the neck to pull him down and iterally rolls on him ike a fucking rolling pn -EB didniteven have the bal What the fook you playin at son I didnt even have the ball, do you even know how to fookin play the game lad EB grins You know over in Ireland you have to be fit to play sports, the fatties get leit on the sideline EB grabs his amn and tosses him to the ground dude twists his anke or something and starts twitching and squeaking lke a baby elephant with parkinsons EB gets put on top team Anonymous (D wHTHOgC) 03 19/14(Wedj20 28 25 UTC-5 No 538041137 Reple 41T months without inc dont give long as youre cool to him dents aside from a few close cals with Greg the Mildly Autistic Hppo e pretty close Apparently ㅲ Ireland they don't have gangs they have paramitanes fighting between whether Northern lreland ts Britsh or hsh >He plays 4down a kal, bd ican tell some shit mu have Pagpened because he always changes the subject when gets clos·tohame Edgy fapgot Luke comes back to school Luke hangs around with a pack of riggers who are all apparenty in a gang, he les to pretend he's part of this "gang" and carries this fucking Stanky e around that he panted red and bue for some reason aOne day at lunch Like corries up to EBied o ofnotere starts askrig his datisalcoholc Nope aound Tm guessin your mam had a far lew belore you were born though mate Well tuck Ind wanna sift speI had to sht out a dat bastardlke yourset. Jog on ン"You win t)4ck with the wrong person t y inst, boy?" EB starts laughing, IHeraly loses his sht at the ste of this Itle fagpot in a trenchc oat with a stanley knfe and actualy presses EB grabs his wrist, takes the fabled blade from the hands of the chosen one tosses t over a fence and punches him straight in the face We're out geting beer, Tm with a 7/10 GT that Ive had a crush on for tucking months Her and EB get along realy wel, athough I sort of think she only hung out with us because EB did That right when we're all drunk, me and QT end up fucking Leaving out my side because this is the ballad of Eght Beer, not me Spend ages taking with QT,estabǐshthat shè apparenty seat, ikes me back EB heads up to bed, I stay down with the other guys to watch TV, QT was askeep when 1 came down QT comes running do wwith a towel round her, soaking wet, and rung out the ont door Apparently EB sleeps naked, not surpnised since Ive found him naked before after a night of drinking Says she came on to himeven ater all he shit she said aLaugh숨 and says he took aprt to bed with hm,awas cn e tablo and when she ed onwth him he lossed all over her Threw her clothes out the wendow into the rain and told her to go and fetch Two weeks later he takes me to a pub and hooks me up with a 910 Anonymous (TDwHT HOC) 03/1914(Wed 20.43 59 UTC-5 No 538044014 Raps.4380408044772 332420 EB and me are total bros after being fnends for a few years 가%aving hm as a best friend is Ike havngtose nasty trainers as a kid Shit get pretty he avy >Him and E汨were close, mostly because EB would buy him vidya and act super interested in the anime sht he lied because nobody else other than me would loses his har chermo aGotovst him, EBisgung me there >He thinks rs awesome get our photo taken together witout any har EB lets him draw all kinds of dumb sh on his bad head, lets him draw a dumb moustache on him o Spend ages just dicking a >Son of a bitch luke who R is, Dukey the Rookie is across the bar in the same tucking trenchcoat he wore back at school >EB says hi chats away to him lbe nothing ever happened >We head home and EB spend the night sitting up with me playing Batlefront on my old P52 and drinking, just trying to cheer me up me every time Sorry for that 2sad4me post, but iti make sense later Anonymous (IO woitth%) 05/19/14(Wed)20 52 46 UTC-5 No 530045357 Reeses 씌38amsrme esaaa Lving together in a let with some chick and her boyfriend The one song I remember is "Uncle Tommy by The Rumjacks, because it played when sht went down EB told them that he "ain't lookin any trouble lads, have a beer and forget that tripe for the night aye? 4 of them jump on him, start beating the shit out of him -l tackle one of them to try help him, get the fuck beaten out of me but fuck that it's goddamn E8 in there EB broke the dudes fucking am He gets up, bleeding out of every pore in his beaunful iwish body Bouncing around with his fists up, Ieraly looks ike he could fly around the room he's bouncing that much The skinheads keep going for him but back off every time aher he swings, it looks lke he could knock a building down with that sh Babbling some incoherent shit in lrish rage, nobody understands the words but everyone understands the meaning pack up there sht ike a scene from a fucking move Eight tucking beersl You splied eight of me fucking beers you hairless tuckin mongrels Eight beers lad, eight fucking beers What's the fucking craic there lke Anonymous (D: wHTiHOgC) 031914(Wed]21:6 02 UTC-5 No. 538047326 EB sgoing back to Ireland to vist his nan, she's real sick 기we lar dr, Befast-thritrs the captal of the oth but not of Ireland ckhow t wori ed EB never eaty expla edit, 5ad you wont understand the bullsh politics unless you grew up there go 1o vist his nan with EB' Sweetest tucking old lady ever, says that EB was always a rough lad but awk he'd never hurt a sour greedy fucker This woman is clearly the most infuenial famly member in the Eight Beer famly EE shows me round Derry, tels me about how 5pIt relgusy and shows methes bg ass wall cood place Takes me to Belast agan and shows methe pace wherethe ttanc was bu -we end up going to place caled The Crown Bar Ger pretty drunk, or Tpped as EB calls it Walked around Belfast for a bt, he tells me about the history of some stuf »Spend a few nights there, have a fucking blast but decide to head home don't wanna be an inrusion on the whole nan stustion Lad you're practicaly a part of the famly Anonymous D wH7HOQC) 03/19/14Wd21 18 48 UTC-5 No 538040230 Getting close to the end now Shits hard to wrte, I miss hat fucker Life is prety uneventful for a wle pparentty some Kiddy Fiddler called Wilm Whight fucked EB when totally agan family home a load of sht, fucks 2EB spends all nut there next to her, nearly gets wolent when staff ask harto leave so doctors can sort some 닸官out calm him down and we wat r, hosptzd for brig bme B's Sister gets beter, but is pretty fucked for life Never taks never leaves the house she's pretty much a goddarmn vegetable EB spends all of his time off work with her, never comes out anymore, just sts in with her. We sometimes come ound and drink with him but he refuses to leave the house -One night while he's sieeping, EB's fucked up sister C's faul, that's pretty much the main subject of t. I don't get why she'd need to say that but whabever Tels me he waan't that close with his family back home his dad is fucked up with grief and everythings just a mess ie doesn't want to go home because he has nothng there other than remnders, but doesn't want to stay here because of what has pened Does his best to be the usual bi9dck coolguy that he always was, puts on a brave face but f you c h him on his own he's luckn9 merable ite gets in 갠 few fights when we're ot dmkrg ry one who gnestmamy 5hvt gets m edistety fucking amidated none ofths ads everyone on" that he used to do s fighting back tears already guessed, but he starts teling me about how he blames himseffor what 거had pened to his sis have tucking known better >Lterally carrot change his mid anthis shit, looks like he has himse#1uly convinced th this is his taut we talk about old imes laugh a be things actualy seem back to normal for whie Ainight mabe. Let's have one for old tme's sake, ae? Hie eventualily leaves, but before he goes he tells me that 'You've been a good mate from day one mate. Honestly out on a limb rd do fuckin' anything for ya Take t easy lad speti ong tme EB doesn't reply to teats or Cutign place doeant answer B tucking hung himsel is fanly tatoo many things that I don't need thanked every tme fucker
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archduke-witwicky · 7 years ago
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Aint no care in the world.
I used to want many things in life. I used to want money, lots of it. I used to want fame, the whole deal. I used to want an elevated status, so I’d feel good.
Now, I want none of it. I have felt a little wealth, the one provided to me by god. It felt nice to be able to afford nice things. I used to not worry about having little or no cash every months’ end.
Too often, many people say this.
They have ‘Too much month at the end of their money’. Haha.
Fame in this context means social life. I used to have quite a number of friends. I hoarded friends like material possessions. Little did i know…
An elevated status. Oh my, what a thing to yearn. Im no super student, but i do learn best while on the grind. In other words, i hate classrooms. I saw myself climbing the corporate ladder at an unprecedented rate, faster than I could cope with.
All this being said, Im actually thankful that I actually fell from grace. I really did not realise what I was losing all the while. I was losing my soul.
I quit my last job as an Operations Manager so that I could embark on a bigger and more elevated status - being my own boss. Despite already achieving what was nearly impossible for someone my age and credentials, i still felt the need to progress.
This was where my story gets worse/better at the same time.
I was indeed living the high life. Eating as I pleased. Restaurants, bars, buffets, you name it. I was steadily becoming huge at the sides. On my heyday, I weighed a solid 70kg haha. As opposed to 56kg now.
And so, I got bored of food. It ended up being like a chore to eat.
I also had mobility. A car. It spelt being able to go to many points on the map, as opposed to just Point A and B and back.
But then, having explored almost all Singapore had to offer, I became very bored of things. I dint know where to go, what to do and what to eat.
All this, before i stumbled.
Remember the company? The one I was to be the ‘Boss’ of ? Chasing that dream was toxic. It drained my resources heavily. I paid quite a sum to sustain myself, my courses, my car and my entertainment.
The stress of running the company virtually alone made entertainment a necessity; without it I surely would have jumped off a cliff.
Needless to say, having the company made me poor. To be exact, the forces at play during that time made me what i am today.
It sent me into technical depression. While all that happened, I cut off loose strings of friendships. Having friends would have made me even more depressed.
I basically disappeared. Some friendships were indeed hard to let go off. For they were what I had really loved. The whole bells and whistles. But it was for the best.
Even family was questionable at that time. Honestly speaking. My dad was of no help. He was the very reason why i fell. My mum was wary of my future and doubted my ability to bounce back.
And so, I was only left with Rasyid. He saw me thru what I could say, were my worst days. All those talk of the high life were drastically stifled.
Then came the part of rejection. Every job I applied for.
The words I have come to be desansitised to as follow:
Must have degree/diploma Must have 5 years exp Must be Chinese Must take small pay Must work 6 days
The flying fuck? It was then I realised. These fuckers are really trying their luck to get the best for rock bottom prices. They know it isnt time for job seekers to be picky.
And so I applied for my current job. Well maybe its a line many would not take second glances at. But it pays. I will leave it to your imagination.
I am now considered a non-executive. A term that I could really appreciate now.
All these while, I was mostly an executive:-
It means: No OT No salary fluidity Working like dog Getting fucked by senior mgmt Easily retrenched
I really thank my lucky stars for this. I am out of the game. I do not need to stress out and worry about not meeting KPIs or incurring LDs for my sites.
I can leave work at work, where it should be. Many industries are feeling the heat from technology. What required manual labour last time can easily be done by a robot.
As such, many humans are forced to redundancy. You may say all is still well. My dearest reader. It aint.
In a few short years we will see robots/drones patrolling where security officers have always been. We will see Singapore spearheading driverless cars. (Bye bye taxi uncles) We will see many processes completed efficiently by softwares.
Brace yourself folks. Drastic change will come. I am glad to be part of a large organisation that will not feel the heat of technology drastically. It offers good benefits, and Im really happy to be in this line young.
Im getting a decent basic salary, with the promise of an even bigger gross salary after my training completes.
I get 3 bonuses in total, which was what I never got to taste before (since job hopping was my favourite pasttime)
Perhaps this time it will change. I will emulate what I did before. I will try giving my best, and maybe start gaining recognition for my abilities yet again.
Maybe I can serve in this capacity well. Provided my superiors have respect for me as much as I do them.
But if not, i will make them pay. They are messing with someone who has leadership in his fingertips.
I can actually pen my thoughts like because my job allows me to. I now have a lot of time in my hands, as compared to last time. Im left to my own devices while working, it is no mean feat to do what Im doing, yet still many complain.
Gua tak paham ah manusia. Dah bagy keje senang pun nak complain. Musibat, tak tau bersyukur.
Anyways. I am in the process of reforming, to study religion. Pelan pelan la. In syaa allah.
I am very much contented with the way things turned out. I am happy again.
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scarletrebel · 8 years ago
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a thing about rw.by
this is a whatever. not a meta or a theory or really a well-thought out critique. if anything I guess im just voicing my frustrations. if you like rw.by, please, please dont read this. you wont like what i have to say and i am in no way looking to upset rw.by fans, i just need a good old fashioned shout into the void. theres some things i liked in here too that actually came out whilst writing aha, so its not all my bullshit.
my main gripe with rw.by at the moment is the lack of character development for ruby rose. you know, the main character? which i think is the reason why my heart breaks a little that i dont love it as much as i used to. i identified so much with ruby. a little girl with a heart too big for her brain, who just wants to protect and help, having to come to terms with the fact that the real world doesnt make noble goals like that easy? thats my childhood right there. 
the latter is something that hasnt been touched on as far as ruby rose’s character development goes until this season, and even then it hasnt really been touched, or lightly brushed, its been mentioned. ruby thought saving the world wouldnt take that long, that the world wasnt as big as it is; she apologises to jaune for dragging jnpr along with her. all INCREDIBLE MOMENTS I was really happy about, but they werent expanded upon. it was like the writers wanted to hit a checklist of ‘make sure the audience knows ruby is naive and sad but hopeful’ rather than making it more engaging to learn about as aspects of her character, which is just lazy storytelling. 
show, dont tell. they’ve done that with juane. they’ve shown that he’s upset about phyrra’s death, they’ve shown him get mad at the situation and with qrow. he’s never outright voiced these things about his character like ruby has about herself, and we all knew she was a little naive. season one, weiss accusing ruby of being a bad leader and them showing the audience ruby trying to get better was so much better than just having her be like ‘im a little naive but ill fight for the greater good!’ like she has so blatantly been this series. 
like, why would she not get mad at her own uncle for keeping her in the dark about someone wanting to kill her?? ruby’s what, 16 at this point? 15 at the least? would she not at least be a little bit annoyed, and would that not show some character growth on her part if she was? my naivety ended, personally, when i stopped trying to be so dang optimistic, (this can become more complicated to explain, as obviously you still have to have hope in the world while keeping a level head and ruby is still young, but, thats another conversation) and if that moment hasnt happened for ruby after 1. penny dying 2. phyrra dying 3. her uncle keeping important information from her 4. her sister having her arm sliced off 5. her friends being split up from her 6. nearly dying to a foe way more powerful than she is, even with her silver eyes -- then when?! 
and lets just get it out of the way -- i dont fucking hate juane. i really, really like him as a character but i just fucking wish he got less of a spotlight because so much more attention is being payed to him and his journey and how everything affects him over ruby. it just is, and it sucks. i like theorising about his semblance, im pretty certain he’s really fucking powerful just like ruby is, but if he unlocks and masters his thing before ruby does i will be so pissed, and the only reason i say that is because it feels like thats the way its headed. 
juane is a lovely character. he’s heroic, he’s actually quite brave and smart, and he’s a good fucking friend. he’s a brilliant support character. but for the love of all that is holy, focus more on ruby when they’re in the same scene. about how he’s helping her on her journey, why could they not have had one conversation about phyrra on screen is my question. they did it really, really well it season one, and i was very loud about the fact that no, juane doesnt get more screen time or attention, but during season four it feels like he -- like everyone that isnt ruby or the other three titular characters -- has over ruby. 
just, please, rwby season five -- give ruby rose more character development. prove me fucking wrong and reveal that you were playing the long game, please.
also; i havent watched the last two episodes, but if it turns out the ‘’’cure’’’ to yangs ptsd is a new arm. fuck, man. please no. but i cant really comment on that yet so, we’ll see. i actually, up until seeing the preview for her spraying her arm and all that, really liked yangs journey. and taiyang is such a sweetheart i adore him. he was so patient and gentle and loving with yang, a few moments had me cringing but overall, an enjoyable part of the season. i hope yang gets to punch adam in the face. 
blake’s journey is one ive enjoyed also. and tbh, i think sun following her and thinking she was on a personal mission to take down the white fang is a very sun thing to do, and i think blake surprising us all by saying no im not gonna do that is a very blake thing as well. sun is spontaneous, carefree to a point and very dedicated to taking down bad guys. projecting that onto blake was his mistake, and im really glad that blake is the one to voice the audiences frustrations at how annoying it is that he follows and harrasses her into taking action (even when a part of us knows that she should -- a really, really well written aspect of blakes journey actually, i really liked it) (sun really needs to have a ‘okay im being a creep im really sorry’ moment but i dont see it happening. again; prove me wrong, guys.)
blake so, so needed to see her family. im glad she could see that and im not surprised that she wanted to run under the guise of ‘resting’ like. come on blake, we all know you’re scared shitless. her characterisation was on point, probably the most out of the four girls. blake was a+ in this season and im really happy about that, come to think of it aha. i hope she gets to punch adam too.
weiss im satisfied with too, although i really wish that ironwood and her got to talking. he didnt necesarily need to save the day for her, i would think that a guy fighting her own battles -- even if it is a ‘good one’ like ironwood -- would irk her, so it wouldve been nice for them to talk. (im still fucking salty about juanes ‘you can have her’ to neptune like lmao fuck off you fucking dudebros THAT WAS SO ANNOYING anyway) weiss being able to call off the thing she summoned before it hurt the lady would be a sign that yeah she’s getting strong but she’s learning control, so. shrug. 
papa schnee is an asshole, where is mama schnee?? and i FUCKING LOVED THE PLOT POINT THAT HER DAD MARRIED INTO THE FAMILY. please let this be an opening for a badass but subdued for Reasons mama schnee (although my hope is not that high)
my main, number one, OVERALL problem with rwby since the end of s3 to s4 is that they dont give the characters that need and deserve the most time and attention just that. i know its a small crew, i know that what they do and the time they do it in is amazing and admirable, and i do admire it and applaud it, they work so fucking hard and deserve praise for that. but they dont use their time wisely when it comes to assigning it in the narrative. and thats more of a writing issue, anyway. 
and another fucking thing. the majority of the interesting characters that arent the main four and are alive and have been developed or made mysterious enough to warrant interest from the audience are fucking men. and yeah, no duh jade, welcome to every piece of media for fucking ever. qrow is an asshole that everyone loves, raven is probably going to turn out to be a bitch -- the majority of salem’s ‘court’ or whatever are dudes. ironwood. ren got backstory over nora. blakes dad. adam taurus. for all that i love him, fucking juane. did we learn anything about phyrra that wasnt her explicitly telling us her backstory? no. we felt sad that she died because of her connections with other people, but, lets face it, mostly juane. im still adamant that she didnt die just for him, that she knew there was a bigger picture and genuinely loved him, but from a narrative pov him and his reactions was a bigger focus point especially in the aftermath with season 4. 
(ruby fucking unlocked an ANCIENT POWER BECAUSE SHE SAW PHYRRA DIE AND SHE DOESNT GET TO HAVE THE SAME EMOTIONAL SCENE ABOUT IT THAT JUANE GOT??? PLS LAST TWO EPISODES. GIVE HER THAT AT LEAST. PROVE ME WRONG.) 
i remember at a rwby panel at rtx one year, when asked about making a series that has four female protaganists, the guys said that they didnt see it that way, that they were just writing a story about a bunch of kids and yeah, i get that. but its not. 
its a story about four strong, tested, young women and they need to stop being oblivious to that because the narrative is fucking suffering. 
end rant/
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limejuicer1862 · 6 years ago
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Wombwell Rainbow Interviews
I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger. The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.
  Magdalena Ball
was born in New York City, where she grew up. After gaining an honours degree in English Literature from the City University of New York (CCNY), she moved to Oxford to study English Literature at a postgraduate level. After a brief return to the US, she then migrated to NSW Australia, where she now resides on a rural property with her husband and three children. While in Australia she received a Masters degree in Business from Charles Sturt University and a Marketing degree from the University of Newcastle. Magdalena runs the respected review site Compulsive Reader. Her short stories, editorials, poetry, reviews and articles have appeared in a wide number of printed anthologies and journals, and have won local and international awards for poetry and fiction. She is the author of the poetry books Unmaking Atoms, Repulsion Thrust and Quark Soup, the novels Black Cow, and Sleep Before Evening, a nonfiction book The Art of Assessment, and, in collaboration with Carolyn Howard-Johnson, the Celebration Series poetry books Sublime Planet, Deeper Into the Pond, Blooming Red, Cherished Pulse, She Wore Emerald Then, and Imagining the Future. She also runs a radio show, Compulsive Reader Talks. In addition to her writing, Magdalena is a Research Support Lead for a multinational company, and regardless of what she’s doing, will usually be found with a book or two in one form or another, sneaking time for reading.
The Interview
1. When and why did you begin to write poetry?
I honestly cannot remember a time when I wasn’t writing poetry. It feels very natural to me to express myself poetically, probably because I grew up with a lot of poetry around me, from Dr Seuss and Maurice Sendak to the songs my mother, who was in a rock band, was writing and singing or the poetry my uncle set to music including literary giants like Edna St Vincent Millay, Frank O’Hara, WB Yeats and Emily Dickinson. Poetry has always been part of my environment. I created a lot of handmade ‘zines, themed booklets and celebration poems for friends when I was growing up, but my first official publication was a full centre-page spread in a Greenwich village magazine while I was an undergraduate. I’ve lost the publication now though I kept the clipping for years, but the buzz of that first publication was pretty intense.
2. Who introduced you to poetry?
I think I’d have to say my parents. They both read to me a lot – and there was poetry in the children’s books I loved (Sendak and Seuss come to mind immediately because I also bought and read many books by those two authors for my own children, but there were many books I loved when I was very young like The Story of Ping by Marjorie Flack, Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, and Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crocket Johnson, all of which became introductions for me to what language can do as an art form, and how poetic language in particular can convey complex ideas in ways that jump past the intellect using rhythm, correspondence and imagery. I always had a visceral response to the books that were read to me, perhaps because my parents were very good readers and tended to act out the work and engage me in the process by talking to me about what they were reading, letting me fill in words and take over when I was ready. I’m deeply grateful to them for this early gift, which to be honest, I didn’t properly recognise until I was much older. Beyond being read to, I was pretty heavily influenced by my uncle, the composer Ricky Ian Gordon, who not only set a lot of superb poems to music – the sound of which formed a backdrop to my childhood as I spent a lot of time at my grandparents’ house where Ricky, who is only 10 years older than me, was growing up, but also he was always recommending and gifting books to me. I remember a book pack he gave to me when I was around 12 after he read some of my poems. I still have the books, which include Plath’s Ariel, Sexton’s Live or Die, Brecht’s Manuel of Piety and Rimbaud’s The Drunken Boat – none of which were age appropriate (!) but they certainly left a mark on me – like many young women I became a bit obsessed with Plath in particular for a while! Even now, when I see him he’ll usually recite a poem by heart to me from someone he personally knows or has recently discovered which will immediately blow me away.
3. How aware were and are you of the dominating presence of older poets?
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t suffer from imposter syndrome regularly as a writer. However, I have always been a confident reader. The delight I take in other people’s words is something that has bolstered me since I was very (possibly too) young. I think it’s fair to say that nearly all writers, no matter how famous, need and love attentive readers and reading is my happy place. So whenever I don’t feel like I’m writer enough to match the company I’m keeping (and that company may be on the page rather than in the flesh though I have been lucky enough to meet some intimidatingly good writers), I’m always able to fall back on the joy of delighting in the words of others. It’s a great privilege I think to be able to just pay attention to art that is exquisite. The sheer joy of that deep engagement is something that I think transcends age, fame, and even genius. It’s connection that is very primal and powerful and wipes out jealousy, intimidation and domination. That said, I’m always actively seeking diversity in my reading as I’m conscious that the “dominating presence of older poets” is really partly determined by a canon that isn’t necessarily very diverse. I’m actively trying to read as diversely as possible, not only because it is healthy to be exposed to what challenges you, but also because nuance and exquisite beauty can often be found in under-represented writers that isn’t so easy to find in some of the bigger, more famous names that are treated as “classics”. So I will sometimes deliberately resist that domination.
4. What is your daily writing routine?
I think it would be a rare day when I didn’t write something, but aside from that I just write whenever I can, often in brief snatches here and there, or while everyone else is watching television in the evening once the hubbub of the day has eased off. I have done things like pulled my car over to the side of the road to write something down that came to mind; written poems during business meetings; stirred something on the stove with one hand while writing with the other – you get the idea. I have three children and a day job so can’t really be precious with the time. Poetry is particularly flexible that way and can be fitted into a tight schedule but I have to admit that fiction is harder for me to write in short bursts which is why I’ve been writing a lot of poetry over the past few years.
5. What motivates you to write?
I’m not really sure what motivates me! It’s kind of instinctual. If I don’t write almost every day I find I’m not at my best – I get cranky – some variation of hangry – like there’s a hunger that needs satiating. Being able to sit down, even for just a few minutes, and put something down in writing is part of what my body needs each day – like food, water, exercise, sleep. It’s just part of how I live in the world. I get a lot of pleasure from extrinsic motivations like publication, praise (poets seem to me to be particularly supportive of one another and I’m so grateful for the gorgeous community I feel very much bolstered by), the odd tiny financial reward, and being able to perform/read/connect with readers – they’re all really wonderful perks, but the practice of writing is something I do regardless of those things.
6. What is your work ethic?
I was born and raised in New York, and it may just go with the territory but I think my work ethic has always been a little bit too strong. I have really tried to ease back on my work ethic – to be more present; to take more time on quality over quantity; to slow down a little bit and not feel like I have to be ticking every box on a daily to-do list. That said, I’m always feeling the tug to get one more thing done today. I’m trying to plan a little bit less, and to be more open as I get older.
7. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?
See question 2. The writers I read when I was young have had a massive influence on me – they’ve helped formed my identity and not just as a writer. I honestly don’t think I’d be the same person if I hadn’t read so much Maurice Sendak as a child. I still get a little shiver of excitement thinking about Little Bear’s trip to the moon or that wordless page of the wild rumpus in Where the Wild Things Are. I also was heavily influenced as a young adult by writers like Czesław Miłosz who I saw perform at Princeton when I was about 17, and I used to hang around the St Marks Poetry Project around that time hoping one day I might just end up having a conversation with Patti Smith, Jim Carroll, Allen Ginsberg or Anne Waldman. I was always too shy to approach them (see question 3), but I knew very strongly then that this was a place I felt at home and that theses were voices that resonated with my young self. I took a lot of that in and it helped form my identity.
8. Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?
I love so many writers that the answer to this question could go on for about 20 pages! It never fails to amaze me how much superb work just keeps coming out. I’m very lucky to be a book reviewer and so I get a lot of books. I certainly don’t like everything but I get at least one book a week that is excellent, often by someone I never heard of before. I know that the minute I commit a name to paper I’ll have missed out someone critical or maybe I’ll read someone tomorrow and by the time this goes to air I’ll be sad I didn’t include them. So instead of answering this question I might just ‘gather some paradise’ (to steal a phrase from the wonderful PoemTalk podcast) and talk about a few poets that I’ve recently read whose work I like. Please note that this is a snapshot of the work I’ve been in contact with over the past month or so and is in no way comprehensive! Tracy K Smith’s latest book Wade in the Water is just so good. You can read the title poem here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/147467/wade-in-the-water Another poet whose work gets me everytime is Danez Smith’s Don’t Call Us Dead. I don’t even know why but the book has brought me to tears several times and even now, I’m thinking of the title poem. I’m right in the middle of reading Anne Casey’s Where the Lost Things Go which is just so warm and lovely – so rich with empathy and compassion, and so very relevant. Another book I recently read and loved was Ali Whitelock’s And My Heart Crumples Like a Coke Can, which is hysterically funny, raw, sad and uplifting all at the same time. Both Anne and Ali are people I recently met and immediately became friends with – it was like we’ve known each other for years and we instantly began planning collaborations, tours, tweeting about one another’s work, etc. I’m so happy to give their wonderful books a shout-out.
9. Why do you write? Probably answered in question 5.
10. What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”
At the risk of sounding like Yoda (it wouldn’t be the first time), there is no ‘become’ – if you want to write, write. Don’t waste too much time dreaming about it or making elaborate promotional plans (something I have been guilty of). Just get on with it. Write what you like to read best or what you feel compelling to write. Or pick a competition and begin working towards a submission. Push asdie the doubt and discomfort and that stupid “monkey” voice at the back of your head that says you’re not up to it, and just get on with it. No one is a ‘natural’ – first drafts are almost all bad, every writer no matter how well-respected is struggling with what they’re working on now, and the only way to get good at writing is, like anything, regular practice. You have to fail. It’s part of the learning curve – so get on with the failure, accept it, become comfortable in its presence and keep going. When you’ve got enough material or when your material fits a market, submit it somewhere. Then repeat the process. The one other thing you must do is to read, a lot, and diversely. If, like me, you’re nervous about promoting your own work or you’re uncertain that what you’ve done is great, then promote someone else. Shine a light on the wonderful, especially where it’s underrepresented. Everyone has the power to do that these days – leave a review, buy someone a book for a present, talk up what you love. Then get back to the table and make your own beauty. There’s no magic formula and raw talent that isn’t utilised is nothing. (may the force be with you…)
11. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.
I’ve just had a poetry book published by Flying Island Books titled High Wire Step, and I’ve got another one coming out in April from Girls on Key Press titled Unreliable Narratives. Neither of those were planned this time last year and I’m really pleased with how they came together and the incredible editorial support I had on both books (I’m very grateful to Kit Kelen and Anna Forsyth respectively). I’m still a bit in promotion mode for these two and there are launches and performances planned at the Newcastle Wrtiers Festival this year and throughout the early part of 2019. I have begun working on a new book of poetry (I’m always working on a book of poetry ), and I am still working on my third novel, a sci fi which is proving to be quite difficult. One of my resolutions for 2019 is to either finish the thing or call it. Every time I sit down to write it strikes me as being too good and too far along to abandon but then I get distracted and it drifts away from my mind and the desire to work on it recedes. This is the year I either finish, or make the call. I also have quite a few multimedia/anthology collaborations in-hand, which I’m very excited about. I can’t divulge, but good things are on the horizon.
Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Magdalena Ball Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.
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First time dealing with car insurance for a 19 yr old?
I just finished drivers ed today and I want to go ahead and get my drivers license because also Lowes called me and want me to come in for orientation! Crazy day right? 2 good things in 1 day. But anyways the Lowes that I should be working at is maybe 15 minutes away and the position I have should be a night position. I'm sure my mom doesn't want to drive around at night so I told her she can just give me the car at night. Here's the thing my dad said he'd have to put me on his insurance. I would like to get my own insurance so they can save some of there money. So can anybody point me in any direction or give me some tips. Because im clueless when it comes to car insurance. Right now my mom is asking me do I have to work there. I plan on grabbing this job because I've been looking for awhile and I finally got 1. Ain't no telling when I'll get another one
Whats a Good Car to Customise at 17? but cheap insurance on?
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Can policr find out if you havent got car insurance by reading the car numberplate?
Can policr find out if you havent got car insurance by reading the car numberplate?
Poll: Do you have health insurance?
Do you think you have a 'good' insurance plan?
New driver needs car insurance - NOT a teen!?
I'm a 23-year old woman living in North Carolina. I'm getting my license for the first time and desperately need *affordable* car insurance. Problems? I am an orphan, so I can't be added to my parents' policy. I don't live alone, but cannot be added to my roommate's policy. Most insurance companies have told me that b/c I don't live alone, I can't get a nonowner's policy, which is fine, but the prospect of paying $5,000 for a 6-month policy is unimaginable. Does anyone know where I can start? I will get my restricted license (restricted due to NC's financial liability requirement) next week and need to get insurance and a car ASAP. HELP!""
Cheapest way to insure a car temporarily?
I have had a company car for the last 2 years and looking to buy a 2nd car for a little bit of fun on a few weekends a year. I dont want to buy a full years insurance as it is too expensive (looking at a porshe convertable) and I am only 21. Can anyone suggest a cheap way of which i can only insure the car for a few days a year? Thank you, Richard""
How much will Car insurance cost me??? PLEASE HELP!?
I am a 20 year old female. I didn't complete high school, but I will get my GED and go to school next fall. I'm getting a car this Feb when taxes come back and I'm buying no more then a good decent $3000 car. I have a child too so I heard that helps bring the insurance down a little. Because the car will be under my name, & I am the ONLY driver in this house hold so there will be only 1 person on the insurance, how much do u think I could be paying a month??? Any guess for wage? I want full coverage but if its more then 300 a month i will go half. I've had my permit to since I was 17, no accidents. Please help.""
Is this normal for auto insurance?
I have got quote from almost all the comapnies, esurance, geico, state farm, farmers, allstate, and some more . All of them gave me quotes in the upper $2500 for full coverage. The only one were less was allstate $2100 and Geico for $1400 thats full coverage for 6 months. Do you guys usually pay this much. I'm 21 and this the first time I'm gettin insurance.""
bupa online travel insurance quote
bupa online travel insurance quote
Car insurance trying to be cheap on repairs?
I was recently in a car accident. The other driver T boned me and he's at fault. I have my car towed to a certified BMW repair shop. The insurance adjuster assessed my car and approve the repairs.I later found out that they are going to repair my car with piece meal parts from used car from a junk yard. Half a door and part of the frame will be welded. Is this acceptable? BMW said it will not fit there standards but it is what the insurance paid for. Is the insurance trying to cheat me or is this standard practice? Do I have any say on this? Should I get a lawyer?
Question about car insurance ?!?!?!?
Ok so i am 17 and male so car insurance is tricky. i have a 1.3 toyota corolla,provisional licence, no driving experience. Most quotes are 4,000 at the cheapest. I cant afford this. Does anyone know how to get this cheaper. Is it possible to get insurance for around 2,000 ? My only option is to go as a named driver under my parents policy and have the car registered to them. Preferrably i want my own policy though. Any suggestions appreciated thanks :)""
How Much Will My Car Insurance Payment Increase After An Accident?
I got into my first car accident today that was my fault I am 17 years old and I have full coverage on Geico insurance I was wondering on around how much will my payment increase after the accident? There was no damage on my car but the other persons car had a large dent on the right side of his front bumper.
Whole life insurance and medicaid eligibility?
My father in Dallas Texas has a life insurnace face value of 10,000 and cash value, about 3500. Per medicaid rule he can't have the life insurance with those cash value. He is not on medicaid yet but with his condition of alzheimer, he soon needs to apply for medicaid. Any idea what needs to be done for the life insurance?...I am not sure if he can simply cancel the insurance to meet the medicaid requirement. He has no other asset and has less than 2000 in his bank account. Of course he does not work. ( he can't with his condition and he's over 70).""
""Where do i get cheap car insurance after passing my test at 17yrs old, thanks?""
Where do i get cheap car insurance after passing my test at 17yrs old, thanks?""
If there is no damage to either cars then how much would insurance rates go up for the person who caused it?
i was in a accident today and this hood girl came out of nowhere but the only damage that occured was the front tag of my car came off and her car has no damage. How much will my insurance rates go up.
Insurance and tottalling cars.?
well my husband totaled our car and we havent done anything with the insurance people yet and im wondering are they going to cover losing our car if we have the lowest insurance on a car that we are still paying payments on??
How much does testosterone therapy cost per month?
I'm a young trans guy (almost 20) and I don't have insurance. It is important to me that I start hormone therapy while I am still in college, but I need to know if I can ...show more""
Does anyone know where I can find affordable health insurance for self employed people?
I own a small business, and need to find health insurance for my family that wont break me. Please help if you can. Thanks.""
Whats wrong with car insurance prices?
Hi, i sold my car ( MG ZS + 1.8 ) Quite a big car and high insurance group, i was paying 75 a month to insure it through kwick fit, i am now trying to insure a small 1.4 peugeot 206 but my quotes are comein out at about 200 per month!! how is this possible? i need to insure this car for my new job that starts next week but i cannot pay this much! i am a 21yr old male if that helps""
What's some places to check for cheap auto insurance?
I got a letter from geico saying that I get special deals cause I'm phi theta kappa. This is Geico's quote: Your monthly premium is: $43.19 for a 6-month policy. That is only $229.10 for 6 months. Is that actually a good deal? It's probably high because I live in a big city, but I would like to find something cheaper. Where else to look?""
""I just purchased Geico car insurance, did i do the right choice?
i did research for car insurance companies. so far my Geico's quote beat the rest of them. i received a 6 months premium of $520.10. i just hope i did the right choice. please serious answers!
What is a car that will have low(er) insurance rates for a new 16 yr old driver??
So i just turned 16 and i didnt get my license yet but i am soon and my parents insurance agent said different cars have higher or lower prices on insurance, he said maybe a mid-size sedan or a small suv or minivan. but... i dont know. Anyone with experience with this cause i'm in need of a car!!""
What does comprehensive car insurance cover?
I caused damaged to my own car, scraping it against a wall while driving out of a car park. The damage was done near the rear tyres and on my door and quotes I've received were all above the 900 range. My standard excess fees are $725, I was wondering if having comprehensive insurance (with AAMI Insurance) does that cover damage done to your OWN car? (I pay $2,500 annually for insurance) and there was no third party involvement, it was just a driving error. Would my insurance fix up my car even if it was entirely my fault?""
Where do I buy car insurance online?
Need to buy car insurance online and do not know how to go about it.
Truck Insurance CHeaper then car insurance for a male?
is truck insurance cheaper then car insurance for males, and why?""
Pregnant with no insurance?
I recently moved and I no longer have health insurance. I am 33 weeks pregnant. I do not qualify for Medicaid. are there any other inexpensive options? I am currently working part time but I won't be working for much longer.
Car insurance on a used car?
I am going to buy a used car from someone, and obviously I need to be insured to drive it home. Is there a way I can get insured for just that day or drive home, so that I can have the car before I do everything I need to with it?""
Car Insurance Help?
Hi, I already confirmed that insurance for me and my Mum and Bro on a BMW (E36) 316 Coupe (Group 11) is do-able However, due to the lack of decent 316 coupes on the market im now looking at a 318 (1.9) Saloon which is also Insurance Group 11. Will my insurance quote stay very similiar because they are both group 11 or will it go up because its now a 1.9 litre as opposed to a 1.6? Im looking at a 318 (1.9) E46 Saloon 1999. Many thanks!!!""
Good Cheap car insurance?
Im 16, Im getting my truck and my license in september, and I was wondering what car insurance companies I should look in to? I could be added onto my parents plan but it would be pretty expensive, I was wondering if there's a cheaper option? what insurance do you have and why? thanks!""
Do insurance companies insure themselves?
My wife and I were wondering this this morning. If an insurance office is broken in to/has a fire/etc, do they cover themselves?""
What is an insurance deductible?
What exactly is a medical insurance deductible?
How much do I have to pay for insurance for a 17 year old and still in HS still in highschool?
and going to drive a dodge neon 2002 and 40k miles, with driver's ed., and a B,C average student and I live in Henderson,Nevada....?""
What is the cheapest car insurance for a new student driver?
What is the cheapest possible car insurance for a new driver who is 17 years old and drives a 2005 ford explorer? I also live in NJ. I'm looking for the cheapest car insurance possible. The plan is for me only, no other drivers to be added. I need answers asap. Please help!""
Can i keep the insurance money and not fix my car ? can i still buy insurance in future?
I have a BMW 335i which cost around 29k (BUY LAST YEAR with CASH). I was hit by other guy ,he was at fault so their insurance ( B) absolutely must pay to fix my car .Nothing relate to my insurance ( farmer ). they estimate the cost to fix at their shop is 7k while BMW estimate for me is 13k (if there is hidden cost to fix the car, B will have to pay it too,thats the law). I do not want to drive this accident car anymore ,so can i ask them to write me a final check ,for example 15k to cover everything now and in future (for example they accept the deal). i then will sell the damaged car to somebody for cash and buy another one ? my car is still drivable (in my opinion the stucture would cost like 2 k to get it work perfectly,yet if we do not care the look, the cosmetic it will be a super good car to drive) In case i do not sell the car and fix the structure to drive,keep the money , i heard somewhere from yahoo answer that no insurance company will sell you insurance ??? like i can no longer buy farmers insurance if i do not fix my car ??? IS THIS FOR REAL ? ( because i did not make any claim on my insurance FARMER ) Is there any problem with an accident car ( Car title ,etc....) Is it legal in texas to drive a damaged car ? Will they report it to carfax ( i got police report) ..... So that is my case,with your experience Please give me anything that you know about my case, is there any problem with it, does anything will happen in the future Thanks all so much , please help!""
bupa online travel insurance quote
bupa online travel insurance quote
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softbunnywonho · 7 years ago
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It has been 12 years since I have not visited philippines (country i was born in) and I had the opportunity to visit for 2 weeks. Let me tell you how I truly felt about my experienced (WARNING: I complain and whine a lot so pls dont read if u cant handle that xD) :
Once I landed in Phil, i expect that our luggage would probably go missing or broken because I heard how the people there handle luggages etc, no discipline at all. I went  to grab our luggages, well 2 of them broke, the wheels of my luggage came off and my mothers luggage handle broke, I was literally pissed off the moment I saw it. I even had “fragile” stickers on mine, wtf. I should have cling wrapped my luggage before arriving in Phil tbh, but anyway!! after that my cousins came to pick us up at the airport... ohh didnt i mention it was soooo hot and humid there.
The traffic was insane, even though Im not the person driving, I was stressed out and irritated xD, It took us nearly 2 hours to get to my cousins house, if theres no traffic it would probably only take us 10-15mins.! Melbournes traffic is also insane although at least people here follow rules and the flow of traffic is manageable. BUT the positive side, I get to chat with my cousins and rest in the car for a bit after a long flight.
we stayed at my cousins house for only few hours before we travel by bus to my hometown that is “Baguio city”, I look forward on it the most mainly because the weather there is perfect =D plus I get to see more greens and finally going to meet our relatives. after 5 hours we landed in my hometown and we had to live in a condo??. Got to meet my uncle and his sister from texas and my auntie!! The condo was okay, though im grateful at least we have some safe place to live in! I had the opportunity to roam around! esp the mall!! boooy do I miss the mall and food there!!
I feel like my body couldnt handle the pollution/change of environment! eventhough the weather is nice, its really polluted, I hated it, my nose was blocked all the damn time i was there, so i had to put on my mask on to protect my nose and half my face at least. People even thought im Korean because of how I look/dress xDD one thing I did not appreciate was that people literally look at you as if theres something on your face or something, I was actually feeling insecure because of how many people look at you from head to toe. xD im like damn please let me live! I also remember I was in the JEEP having my mask on  and this Person kept looking at me like ??? do you mind, then i had to put my mask down to talk to my mother and this person was laughing?? I know Im ugly but pls dont make it obvious! LOL anyway, Can you tell i got culture shock!! I know ive lived there for 15years but after 12 years... it does seem like a new country to me, Im so used to living in a place where people mind their own business and doesnt care about your existence. BUT I know for sure Filipino people are the most hospitable and hard working people I know.
We visited 100 islands for the first time, via motorboat and I had the blast tbh! I enjoyed it so much and get to appreciate the nature. I love everything about it and It reminded me that I should be grateful of the things I have!!~ though I make mistakes, have a lot of flaws and not the most perfect person to exist on this planet but I feel like I have to live a life to the fullest no matter how bad it is. To love yourself and others and to understand how to care for a person you cherish and love the most!! I have more things to improve on and I hope to be a better person than yesterday.
anyway, my uncle and auntie had their 30th wedding anniversary which was amazing and emotional ;;; I really am a softy, everything makes me cry ;; so i cried during their exchange of vows and everything ;; I also get to meet my cousins!! esp my 2 most fave ones whom I look after when they were a baby and now they are grown up :’) they were even surprised to see me T_T so I gave them a huge hug!! I met all my little nephews and nieces which was nice though I know it can be awkward meeting the first time finding out im their auntie (LOL) :D met another nephew when we were living in Manila whom introduced me to fate grand order which reminded me of GO! I also get to taste HALO HALO (famous dessert in phil) which i love!! I also went shopping until I had to take out money from my bank because i noticed I was running out of cash. and ahh, me, mother and my little brother spent time together at a park. I think thats about it for now! I know I complain a lot, but I did enjoy my stay and rest!! If i have to be honest, I’d rather travel to other countries and not go back to Phil again. At least I get to experienced how its like over there and met my relatives once again. :)
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