#and then it translates to well if you don’t see the issue here clearly you cannot write

[thestarninja]

.

[satellite-evans]

poets & soulmates

Pairing: Harry Styles x reader

Summary: Harry doesn’t know how to react when he learns that you don’t believe in soulmates.

Word count: a cute little blurb

Warnings: angst? Flufffff

A/N: heyyyyy!!!!!

It’s been ages since I last posted a fic, so I am soooo excited to post my very first Harry Styles one! I really hope you guys like it, I’ve worked on this for a while, so let’s see how it goes. I’m very excited and nervous to post this, but I am so happy to be back! Please tell me what you guys think and give me as much as feedback as you can so I can grow and be a better Harry fic writer for you all xxx

English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any (grammar) mistakes. Feedback, requests, talks, vents, recommendations or just simple questions are always welcome.

Happy reading xxx

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site.

~

If you had to describe the love you shared with Harry with a poem, you would probably choose the one from Edgar Allan Poe.

“We loved with a love that was more than love.”

It said so much in such few words; the best description of your love for him.

Because it is true, it is more than love. Always had been. If you took the love out of the relationship, you and Harry would be left with so much to survive. There was trust, for example. And also intimacy. Not to forget there was an understanding between you, too, that no one understood. If you were in a room with thousands of people, he would recognize you, every single time. Like you were a shining diamond between rocks. The effect you both had on each other, was beyond explaining in chemistry. Harry could touch you, and the breath that would escape from your lips oh so silently would already expose the effect he had on you.

Harry was no different, either. Seeing you smile proudly when you looked at him, made him turn into dust, that you blew away with your eyes. But he was afraid at first. To love.

He was afraid to love you.

For him, you were a stunning mystery. You carried things deep inside you that no one understood, and Harry was afraid to fail like the others. In his eyes, you were like the ocean and he was just a man who loved the waves but was completely terrified of swimming.

How couldn’t he be? At twenty nine, everyone had an idea in their head about how Harry was in relationships. Some said that he was single because he had commitment issues, others said the reason he was still alone was that he was too much of a playboy.

Yes, he had a few relationships before you and some of them did not end well, but Harry always respected and treated them with his kindness, always wanted the best for them.

He would do everything for his love, for you.

“Hey, love?” He asked you, clearly with hesitation. The way his voice shook a little didn’t go unnoticed by you in his London home where the both of you were lying in his bed. After spring came, Harry offered you to stay with him until summer so the two of you could enjoy long walks in the park with his favorite companion. You never said yes to an offer so quickly before in your life.

“Yes H, everything okay?”

How? How was it that every time Harry wanted to start a subject that was sensitive for him, you already knew by just the way he asked you his first question? Call it magic, call it luck. Harry liked to call it love.

“Do you think we’re soulmates? Like-I mean, we would be together and we will be forever?”

He didn’t know why that question was so important to him, but it was. He wanted to know your opinions and thoughts about the future both of you had. Every time Harry was dreaming about his future and how it would look, he realized you were always there. In the audience when he opened his biggest show ever, in the delivery room when he held his baby for the first time, everywhere. So your answer was very important to him. He wanted- no; he needed to know if he was present in your future as much as you were present in his.

“No, I don’t think we are. But that’s because I don’t believe in soulmates.”

Ouch. That shouldn’t have hurt him, but it did. Blaming you would be pointless. You didn’t believe in the whole idea of soulmates, but that didn’t make him less insecure. He knew it was too good to be true. That you were too good to be true.

The whole aura of the room changed and Harry slowly got up from where he was lying between your legs. You saw that his demeanor changed and that the happy, slightly tired Harry got replaced with a sad Harry.

“Hey, hey what’s that all about? Why the sad face?”

Honesty was one thing you both took extremely seriously. So that’s what you wanted to do this time, too. But without realizing you broke slightly Harry’s heart.

“It’s nothing, really. You don’t have to believe we are soulmates. I don’t know why I’m sad if I am being honest.” He said with a slight smirk that didn’t reach his eyes. He was clearly devastated by your answer.

You sat closer to him on his bed, touched his cheeks with your hands, and stared him deeply into his eyes. Harry already felt his heartbeat going faster. It was going so fast that he thought he was going to have a stroke. He held on to your arm dearly, so if he fainted, you could hold him. Like you always had been.

“I don’t believe in soulmates, and I don’t think that you & I were meant to end up together. What I believe is that we fell in love & that we worked hard for our relationship. I mean, look at you, you’re an amazing person with qualities so great that an individual can only dream of having those. Every woman is lucky to have you. I am from another country and I am younger than you. Remember all the news that they made about us when we first started going out? They told me I was a gold digger, that you were too good for me, that you cheated on me, and so on. But we didn’t listen to any of them. We let our love grow because we knew, H. We knew that what we had was special, and not everybody was lucky enough to feel what we felt. So no, I don’t think we are soulmates. But you are the one for me; Harry. You were in my past when I didn’t even know. You are my person in the present, And you will be in the future. Because I will always, undoubtedly, love you.”

Without waiting for his response, you connected your lips with his. You knew he was sensitive and these bare confessions took a toll on him, so you just kissed him, to let him know it was okay. That you were there for him, always.

“Just give me 3-5 business days, and I’ll come up with even a bigger love confession, promise.”

Harry said, after he broke the bruising kiss.

He wasn’t lying. Harry had no words to say to you. He knew you loved him, but not that much. It was like his brain & heart were on fire and you just put them out with your words. Relief washed over him, and like a cherry on his favorite cake, you kissed him with adoration.

“Oh, I know you will. It’s a known fact that you were always better with words, but just so you know, you don’t have to. I feel your love every time you look at me. Hate to break it to you, but your eyes give it away how much you love me, Styles.”

He didn’t care about the idea of the whole soulmate anymore. He felt so stupid that he was thinking about that. The love that the both of you shared, was more special, and rare. The two of you were even better than soulmates.

“That I do, Y/N. That I do. I love you so fucking much. It sometimes hurts. It hurts not to touch you, not to be near you, not to kiss you.”

He closed the gap between you with a passionate kiss again, that knocked your breath away. Your whole body was on fire, not knowing what to do. With every touch of his on your skin, the fire started to get more and more aggressive. He released your lips, but stayed close, so you could feel his breath on your lips and he could hear your heartbeat going faster.

“I am no poet, Y/N but just know that if I was, you would be my biggest inspiration.”

You looked him in the eyes, trying to control your breathing, but it was a lost cause. His blue eyes were like ice digging into your heart, and the only thing you could do was surrender.

“That might be the best poem I’ve ever heard.”

[cursedvibes]

For the ship ask, shamelessly targeting your weaknesses: TenKen and ItaMahi

And because I like to set tiny fires: SatoSugu

Oh, spicy! Time to fan that fire 😆

TenKen

Ship It

What made you ship it?

I got interested as soon as we met Tengen in ch 145. Her calling Kenjaku a "child" (unfortunately the official translation forgot about that) and Kenjaku previously calling her basically a stagnant, unimportant geezer made me sure there must be some drama hidden in their past and boy was I right. I initially only saw them as a broken up teacher-student dynamic, where the favourite student went astray or maybe a parent-child one and I still hold onto that (not even Tengen is save from Kenjaku's mommy issues), but it evolved way beyond that. I really fell down the rabbit hole when the fight against Yuki started and I've been down here ever since. Still see them mostly as queer-platonic though, not necessarily romantic or sexual, but that doesn't mean there isn't a lot of pining and longing and vore to work with.

What are your favourite things about the ship?

I like how we see a completely different side of Kenjaku when they are around Tengen. They act like a petulant child screaming for attention or a slighted ex. They get loud and petty, very unlike their usual composed appearance. And even if Tengen is good at hiding it, she clearly feels something for Kenjaku too because we wouldn't be in this situation if she had just told one of her six eyes users to kill Kenjaku once and for all. It would take more effort to pull them back at the last second than just let them pulverize Kenjaku. Also, generally the dichotomy between them (dark/light, young/old, progress/stagnation etc) and how they are still always drawn to each other gives so much to explore and it only gets better the more information we get. And there's the implication that they both experimented with Sukuna's body, possibly at the same time. Morally dubious scientist power couple?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

There aren't really that many opinions on them out there...maybe: let Tengen be old. Her whole thing is aging, so I don't think she looked like in that one sketch we got in the Heian era or Nara period before she merged with a Star Plasma Vessel.

ItaMahi

Ship It

What made you ship it?

I'm usually not big on shipping Yuuji with anyone, but the end of the Shibuya arc definitely unlocked something for me and the anime gave me new fuel. Some great fanart and fic did the rest. I think what I like most about it is how it brings out a more cold and cruel side of Yuuji, very unlike what we see in his relationships with other characters except maybe Sukuna, but with Mahito it feels a lot more raw.

What are your favourite things about the ship?

There is just that pure hate and contrary to Sukuna for example, they are on eye level. They develop together, they challenge each other, they bring out the worst in each other. During their fight you really get the feeling of them just desperately clawing at each other and wanting to kill the other by any means necessary. Very beautiful. Mahito enjoying himself during it and Yuuji taking his own satisfaction in chasing him down make it especially juicy. It's so animalistic and pure and could easily turn into great hate sex.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't like when people turn this into basically Mahito just torturing and raping Yuuji, but unfortunately that is a big part of the content that does exist for this ship. The great thing about this ship is their dynamic of push and pull and that there isn't any clear power imbalance between them and I personally enjoy seeing Yuuji push Mahito into the dirt and humiliating him. So I only like it if Yuuji is either the more dominant one (don't care about top or bottom) or it switches between them.

SatoSugu

Why don’t you ship it?

Well, I do think they have some feelings for each other that go beyond being ex-high school friends and I think that's pretty much canon too, no matter if you think those feelings are platonic or not. They give me the impression of being very repressed, but who knows, maybe they used to date or maybe they fucked right up until Gojo blew a hole into Geto. Who cares. As you know, it doesn't work for me for similar reasons as you have. I can't stand Geto and I think he brings out the worst in Gojo. Like Gojo is at his most annoying when he's whining about Geto (although his behaviour during the Sukuna fight is a close second). I used to have a bit more appreciation for their bond during Hidden Inventory, but the ever-present fandom of this ship soured me a lot on it. I prefer to stay away as far as I can from it now.

What would have made you like it?

Geto being a less punchable person? Being less bigoted and overall being a grand idiot about it too? There's not much about it that would honestly make me ship it unless you massively change the characters involved.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

It was very nice of Gojo to not destroy Geto's body out of sentimentality and leave room for Kenjaku to jump in :)

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Takeomi, Self-Esteem and Denial (and more)

@raizelswitch, thank you for waiting!

TL;DR : I want a BD spin-off and I want it from Takeomi’s POV even though he’d be such an unreliable narrator (and like that we could also have a Akashi siblings spin-off, two birds, one stone). Takeomi has a lot of issues and making him raise children and naming him vice captain was a bad idea since it only made things worse. He had developed both an inferiority and superiority complex to cope. And we were robbed of any interaction between him and Inui, the other famous ‘can’t let go of Black Dragon even after x years’ character.

Who wants to read about 17,000 words about Takeomi (I didn’t expect to write this much, what the heck)? Clearly not Tumblr because I spent way too much time having to reorder this post, it mixed it all up everytime ! It also refused to post it for hours

The translations of Wakasa’s and Benkei’s ‘a day in his life’ as well as Takeomi’s failure story come from the Twitter user RanHaruchiyo

I feel like I made a few mistakes so there : English is not my native language, I apologize if some sentences don’t make sense. Sorry for any type of typos as well.

I referred to the past (beside the final timeline) as ‘canon-timeline’ several times because I had no clue how to name it. It’s not the futures, it’s not the original or final timeline, it’s… it’s the past until the final timeline comes in.

When you reach the top – the only way is down. (and up and down…)

Let’s get started with something very quick – Takeomi was created to be the exact opposite of Shinichiro. And when you’re the exact opposite of a character who’s perfectly good, loved by everyone (other characters and fans alike), then the writer uses you to be bad. Not necessarily evil - Takeomi isn’t evil - but ‘not good’.

And Wakui doesn’t shy away from that. I’m keeping the analysis of the kanji of the Akashi and Sano siblings’ names for the end, so I’ll just talk about the ‘shi’ of ‘Akashi’ here, to show what I mean.

司 (Akashi) means ‘administrator, official, a governor whom the emperor chose to carry on the imperial policies in provinces’. It fits Takeomi’s role pretty much, right ? He had a high rank in Black Dragon, but Shinichiro was above and that’s when it starts to be very interesting. 司 upside down gives 后. And it means ‘monarch, king, emperor, queen, empress’ – nice coincidence, isn’t it ?. It’s literally the same kanji upside down. Takeomi is Shinichiro upside down. Is that why he’s the rain bringer while Shinichiro, always being seen in a positive light, would be linked to the sun ? I already thought of Takeomi as a ‘teru teru bozu’ since they’re supposed to bring rain when hung upside down and it’s not stupid to think of Shinichiro, oh so perfect Shinichiro, as a ‘sun bringer’ – after all, like Mikey, he took over Japan, did he not ?

Plus, the sun is their most famous goddess (Amaterasu)’s symbol, Japan’s symbol, and by such the emperor’s symbol.

And when you’re that. When you’re the mirror of such a perfect character, how can you not be made but only of flaws ? You’re made to be bad in everything he is good – and the opposite isn’t guaranteed to be true. What if making you good in things he’s bad in makes you good ? No, no, you’re supposed to be bad. Because he’s good, and you’re his polar opposite. He’s bad in excusable things. You’re bad in barely forgivable things. It’s not important for him to be a horrible fighter, even in a story centered around gang fights. It’s unforgivable for you to not know how to raise your siblings, in a story built on siblings' relationships.

And Shinichiro is great at raising Mikey and Emma, while Takeomi isn’t that much of a fighter. We see him fight a bit when he goes with Brahman to confront South about Draken’s death, but it’s not big important fights, Benkei and Wakasa, and later Senju, are the ones fighting. And Benkei and Wakasa were Black Dragon 1st generation’s main fighting power, as the guard and special attack unit captains.

(Heck, Shinichiro is listed n°1 best in bikes riders, Takeomi is n°3 worst - yet another thing he's either bad or average at. (Wakasa is n°3 best, we dont know where Benkei lies. Mikey is 2nd best, Takemichi and Senju are respectively 1st and 2nd worse))

Shinichiro is good, even when he kills. Takeomi is only ever bad or less-bad. Perhaps Wakui initially planned scenes where he was ‘good’, but they never came to be, so instead we’re stuck with a character who has a potential for a redemption arc and who never got it.

(Look at this ! He became self aware! And finally stopped living in denial !)

(We never see him again after this btw. He never gets to talk to Sanzu.)

If there’s one thing Takeomi is good at, it’s strategy.

He is feared, he is called « God of War », he is named vice-captain…

By other people. By other delinquents. By Shinichiro.

He doesn’t think he’s the reason all of that happens. He isn’t those things, he receives them (use of passive voice). By such, if people don’t give him, then he’s left with nothing. No matter if he is good at something, if people aren’t there to tell him, then he doesn’t think he is. Takeomi thinks of his worth, his validity as a person by how others perceive him - they praise him ? He must be great ! They ignore him ? How pathetic has he become.

When do people say that ? When he’s Black Dragon Vice-Captain. When is he Black Dragon vice-captain ? When Shinichiro is on top. That’s why he panics in chapter 230 when Shinichiro tells him about disbanding the gang. If the gang gets disbanded, what does he have left ? If Shinichiro tells him to stop following him around (chapter 230: “I was always by Shin’s side”) what is he supposed to do ? He is but “an ordinary kid. Whether it be in sports, or studies, [...] just average. [...] a normal child, not special at all” (same chapter) whose childhood friend “had a mysterious charm that attracted people around him. Even with that charm, Shin never resorted to violence.[...]he was just very earnest and kind” (same chapter). Without Black Dragon he’s nothing. Without Shinichiro he’s nothing. Because he never learnt to let go of Shinichiro‘s hand, nor did he wish to. But Shinichiro just.. let go one day. We know how Shinichiro is. If he was aware of how much he is needed by Takeomi, he would have done things differently. And while he shouldn’t be responsible for Takeomi’s well-being, he is the reason whether Takeomi’s self-esteem is stable (or a bit too much over the top) or not. Takeomi made him responsible for it, and Shinichiro surely would’ve helped if he figured it out, (because Takeomi is a stranger to himself and wouldn’t have ever asked for help (he doesn’t know he needs help after all)), but Shinichiro didn’t. The same way Mikey didn’t notice why Baji acted the way he did during Valhalla arc until it was too late. It’s not because they’re childhood friends that they read each other like an open book.

Shinichiro, while he never intended to and we can’t blame him for this either, is the reason Takeomi turned out like he did. Takeomi followed him everywhere, he wouldn’t have entered delinquency if Shinichiro didn’t. Takeomi tried so hard to climb to Shinichiro’s level and kept comparing himself to him and it got worse when he was appointed the role of vice-president. His ego skyrocketed. And even if Shinichiro had noticed it, would he have figured out how to change that ? For sure, if he knew how to help he’d have helped – then again, would Takeomi accept this help ? He’s a professional when it comes to denial, he pushes everyone away. And denial is what he does best. From denying he would be nothing without the other Black Dragon founding members and hiding behind his God of War persona, to denying his involvement in Senju and Sanzu’s life. Even if Shinichiro, Wakasa and Benkei did try to help, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, who refuses to believe there’s something wrong, and by doing so who refuses to talk about it. It’s all made to protect himself from the truth. Because the truth will hurt him, facing it will make him realize he’s not special and that will shatter his self-esteem. It will make him feel painful emotions he can’t deal with. So he runs away from it, and thus, dives deeper into misery. If you refuse to see the problem, then it will grow, and Takeomi’s problems, his mistakes, grow a lot. The world changes but he doesn’t, he keeps the same behaviors, and soon they turn against him. His fame turns into debts. Debts he can’t pay anymore, but he refuses to admit it. Because he would have been able to pay, if Black Dragon had remained. Takeomi likes to live in luxury (his dream is to be a multimillionaire), so he’d keep on denying the fact he can’t afford it anymore just to carry on living this way.

Maybe the reason him and Wakasa & Benkei aren’t close isn’t that they see him as ‘Shinichiro’s childhood friend we’re obligated to endure/tolerate even though he’s insufferable’ (when the BD founding members interact, Wakasa and Benkei always tease, laugh at Shinichiro, chapter 230, Benkei “Look at all your battle scars !” Shinichiro, “Quit it !” Wakasa, “A loser in both fights and love !” Shinichiro “Hey man, that's none of your business”; chapter 269: Benkei “You sure are dumb, Shinichiro !” Wakasa, “Haha. Well, that's shin-chan for ya.”) they’re never shown as friendly toward Takeomi) but more that, even if they did try, Takeomi, unconsciously, never let them know who he really was underneath it all. To be fair, Takeomi lied to himself so strongly he wasn’t aware he wasn’t this façade he had created. I’m not sure if Wakasa and Benkei succeeded in seeing through his lies, Takeomi himself surely didn’t. Shinichiro was left but whether it be the original timeline or not, he didn’t succeed to help Takeomi. Takeomi compares himself to others (him being an ordinary kid vs Shinichiro not being one), is sensitive to criticism and compliments alike (while he didn’t seem hurt when Kakucho uno-reversed him by asking him if he had forgotten about Shinichiro after Takeomi had asked him if he had forgotten about Izana, he did react, unlike Kakucho who remained unfazed; “Drunk in the praises of my name, I became arrogant”), seeks attention and validation, makes things about himself (“[...]He talks about the Brahman Senju created as if he created it. [...] I remember he used to brag about Shinichiro's achievements as if he himself had done them[...]”, Benkei’s ‘a day in his life’) and has troubles admitting his faults (even if he eventually apologizes in chapter 230 to Senju, he is fighting back tears while doing so). Those are all things inferiority and superiority complexes share (beside the low self-esteem). And while there are signs we can’t be 100% sure he has, reading about Takeomi echoes to those two complexes. First, inferiority complex. Feeling insecure, incomplete or unworthy → “not special at all”; “I was broke and powerless“; ”at the lowest of low. But they accepted me as I was”. Withdrawal → “I got news of Shin's death. But I was too busy in struggling for money.”, that ‘too busy with money’ (in good (“treated as a VIP [...] never got short on money” and in bad “my debts piling up”) seems like the perfect excuse to avoid your friends and family. All or nothing thinking, things are either good or bad → he’s either at the top of Japan and everything is doing great or he’s not and nothing’s working in his life. Insecurity in relationships → Benkei and Wakasa are his disliked/feared people because "they look down on me" (3rd guide book) (there is no proof of that but I’ll dig into that later). Feeling good when doing better than others → only felt at ease when he was the God of War. Finding fault in others, demeaning others as a way to transfer their feelings → will go back to it way later, but his relationship with Sanzu is basically that. Shutting down because of shame, guilt, embarrassment or an inward sense of defeat → once again, what he did after he started to be indebted.

For superiority complex there’s : hiding feelings of mediocrity and underlying or persistent low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority → hiding his “powerless”, “ordinary” and all behind his mask of second in command of Black Dragon and Brahman. High valuation of self-worth, a self-image of supremacy or authority, overarching belief that they are better than others → “the first generation Black Dragon once ruled the nation - with me as the vice captain. I was feared, since my decisions determined how any conflict would end. I was called the « God of War »” . Feelings of entitlements and boastful claims that aren’t backed up by reality → he brags about Senju and Shinichiro’s achievements, they aren’t his own (even though he must have some). Which goes with: need to be in control → he’s the one who’s in charge of making Brahman gain money (and he’s the one who decided of it, Senju is against his ways), Brahman listens to him when he says they’re attacking Rokuhara Tendai and not to Senju who tell them to stop, and is convinced Senju is only where she is thanks to him, Wakasa and Benkei being around and dealing with everything (chapter 229, Takeomi: “Senju got herself included in the ‘three deities’ only through first gen Black Dragon’s support. Senju can't take this fight alone !”).

There are also signs which I can’t find quotes or panels to say Takeomi has them but, knowing the character, it wouldn’t be surprising. These include : feelings of hostility, frustration, nervousness, or aggression (he does express those but given the context it's justifiable; he's impulsively decide to go against Rokuhara Tendai even though Senju tells him no because they aren't ready, Benkei says "It's no use, Takeomi has lost his cool". There's also his nicotine addiction which does not help). Highly competitive, perfectionist paired with an avoidance for any kind of competition where efforts might be compared with others’ ; don’t do something if there are risks one would fail (he dislikes efforts (3rd guide book), so that may mean he only does things when he’s sure of his own capacities and refuse to leave his comfort zone, he doesn’t participate/try if he’s not sure of succeeding). And : unwillingness to listen to others (if BD founding members tried to take his head out of the sand, it failed). Overcompensation to specific elements of life (perhaps linked to his childhood but we have no information about it). Mood swings, often made worse by contradiction from another person (→ him seemingly aloof, becoming mad very quickly at Sanzu when he or Senju do something wrong ? His whole reaction to Draken’s death; “I'm gonna destroy Rokuhara Tandai right now.[...] Assemble everyone in Brahman for an emergency meeting !!”, followed by South’s comment in chapter 225: “It's so rare to see Akashi getting all rowdy like this.” and Senju’s trying to calm him down (only making it worse). Takeomi’s interaction with Kakucho about Izana and Shinichiro in chapter 212 too maybe). Gets offended if there’s no positive feedback.

I will like to add that no official list of signs exist or if it does, I didn’t find it. But knowing how both of these complexes work, it was interesting to talk about it, in my opinion.

(By the way, Takeomi was listed number 1 worst at ‘who is needy when dating ?’ (whereas Sanzu and Wakasa were 1st and 2nd best). Except that in Takeomi’s case the reason he’s not needy is because he's straight-up avoidant which isn't better. As opposed to Senju and Draken (2nd and 3rd worst) who seem non-needy in a healthy way.)

Takeomi wants to stand at the top, Shinichiro knows how to go up there, so he just has to tag along, easy-peasy. But like for a jungle gym, you have to get down one day. Did Shinichiro want to become Japan's number 1 ? I’m not that sure. It may have been a goal, but not the main one. What he liked most was the journey, not the destination, if it was then he wouldn’t have disbanded Black Dragon. But Takeomi wants to go on top of the jungle gym. Takeomi wants to be Japan number 1. Forever. Takeomi wants to learn how you get up there and how to stay/keep standing still.

That’s one of the most tragic point with Takeomi in my opinion. He was the brain of Black Dragon, he was the brain of Braham (it may have been an excuse but Senju recruited him for his guidance, his wisdom), and he was, supposedly as Mikey’s advisor, the brain of Bonten. He knows how to get on top of Japan. He knows how to become influential, how to make money (Brahman’s B-1 fighting club), how to recruit people and make them stay, he knows which decision to take to assure victory or defeat.

He’s smart, insanely. And he. doesn’t. see. it. If he did, he could have managed to live without the gang.

For Takeomi, it’s not that he becomes number 1, it’s that there’s a number 1 by his side and he knows how to follow them (his special skill is ‘taking advantage of others’ (3rd guide book)). He is aware he was the lead actor as to why victory or defeat were but – Takeomi isn’t a fighter. Wakasa and Benkei are. Shinichiro sucked at it but he was still insanely strong.

Takeomi doesn’t fight and that’s not his role. He likely knows how to pull out punches and other fight moves but as a ‘God Of War’ he’s mainly a strategist. He takes decisions, Shin agrees or not (and Shin is the one who has the last say), Wakasa and Benkei, and the rest of the gang, apply. (chapter 224, Benkei answering “yes, sir” to one of Takeomi’s command (even though Senju is clearly against it))

However, he’s not the one who brought them together. All of what he has. It’s thanks to Shinichiro. Wouldn’t be number 1 without him. Wouldn’t be friends with Wakasa and Benkei without him. Takeomi lives on what Shinichiro gave him. Him, an average, good-for-nothing kid. And when it’s time to say farewell to all of that – he doesn’t.

Shinichiro has his own shop. Wakasa and Benkei have their own gym.

Takeomi stays as if he was still on top. As if he wasn’t already falling, as if the impact on the ground wouldn’t damage him. As if Shinichiro, who decided climbing the jungle gym wasn’t fun anymore, didn’t stop stabilizing him.

He lives in denial. And it works at the beginning. People still think of them as number 1 so it’s not too hard. But then they realize they aren’t. But Takeomi is an average kid. In everything. He’s only good at what Shinichiro designed him as. And he didn’t think he'd be good at it. He isn’t good at anything else. He can’t do anything else. So it goes on.

The debts pill up.

Shinichiro dies.

And ? And repeat. Without the debts, this time.

Senju, joyous, cheerful, strong-willed Senju, asks him to join her gang. As her second in command. Even though he is “broke and powerless”. “At the lowest of low” (chapter 230). Even though Wakasa and Benkei are right there.

(Shinichiro asked him to be his vice captain. Even though Takeomi was average, good at nothing but following his childhood friend around. Even though Shinichiro had become friends with Wakasa and Benkei who were in this world since way longer.)

And so Brahman is created.

Their prestige comes back. They remember mannerisms days after days, they remember how you do it. Brahmam grows. They have hundreds of members, they make a lot of money with deals and underground fights. Whereas Wakasa and Benkei moved on (or, way more than Takeomi did), Takeomi didn’t and it shows even in their Brahman uniforms. If you look closely, they don’t have the same patterns on their sleeves – Wakasa and Benkei both got flowers, although different from the other’s (same thing for Senju) but Takeomi has a dragon. (Average Brahman members have the same thing they have on the back of their uniforms)

Draken dies. Draken dies. He shouts it – It’s not a childish brawl (chapter 224). I find it hard to believe that during Black Dragon 1st Gen, they never lost anyone, but Draken’s death snaps him back to reality. It isn’t like it was with Shinichiro. There’s no fun. It’s war. Standing at the top isn’t like standing on a jungle gym. Draken is dead and so is Shinichiro. Why isn’t he ? (chapter 225, Takeomi: “Souuuuuuuth !! Why did you kill Draken !? He wasn't even a formal member of Brahman ! If you wanted to kill someone it should've been me !”)

Either Draken dies, or Senju does.

For what else would have Takeomi joined Bonten ? Actually, let me change that question ; where is and what does Senju do in Bad Toman and Manila timelines ?

Because Mikey goes down a dark path in all the timelines so, did she try to stop him ? If yes, is she dead ? The three deities battle might or not have happened (South wouldn’t have the same members if that’s the case – Tenjiku never came to be in Bad Toman and Izana is alive in Manila). And… And if that’s the case or not – why are Wakasa, Benkei and Takeomi nowhere to be seen ?

Wakasa and Benkei work in a way that opposes Takeomi. Not only with how they dealt with Black Dragon disbandment but how they dealt with Senju’s death. No matter how it happened, Takeomi joins Mikey after his sister’s death (Bonten), Wakasa and Benkei join Kanto Manji when Senju doesn’t (nowhere to be seen in Bonten).

Difference being, if Senju dies, Wakasa can’t witness Mikey’s dark impulses and can’t talk to him about it. And even if he witnessed it, if Senju is dead, would Wakasa care ? Wakasa must know there’s nothing against the dark impulses so why join Kanto Manji ? They love Senju, their princess, do they want to keep her safe ? Surely. Why take this option then?

It's never stated. So it's interpretation/theory time.

Wakasa would choose Shinichiro over Mikey. In chapter 270, he says "Honeslty speaking, I'm glad that Manjiro has passed. I was worried that you'd be first to die [...] Right now, you're just rotting away", now, Wakasa from the original timeline and from canon-timeline aren't the same. Original timeline Wakasa had the time to accept Shinichiro had lost his brother (and Mikey could perhaps regain consciousness one day, but the more day passes, the more the chances lower), but he couldn't see his friend rot away. His previously bright and charismatic friend was being devoured by sleep deprivation, helplessness and so much more. Hence, if Mikey dying would free Shinichiro from his suffering (although it would also add to it, he wouldn't have to work himself to the bone to take care of Mikey, and would finally have time to process all of what happened to him) then Wakasa is okay with it. Shinichiro is important to him, more than Mikey could ever be.

Wakasa, is the only person Shinichiro talked to about the original timeline. Out of the two people knowing about it, Wakasa is the one Shinichiro went to to tell him about it (Sanzu is the other and he came to Shinichiro asking about it). We don't know if Shinichiro planned to tell more people, and if yes, Wakasa was on the top of his list. Thus, this means Wakasa had heard Shinichiro telling him he killed a man and then himself. Because Mikey died. So that Mikey won't die. And he probably was murdered because of it later on too, because Shinichiro told him the homeless man's last words – because Shinichiro told him everything with every details.

So, when Wakasa finally sees Mikey again, sees the level of destruction he causes, sees that he kills like it's nothing, like he's enjoying it, this boy his friend killed for to keep alive... Well, Wakasa, dragging Benkei along, joined Kanto Manji to keep Mikey alive — because that's what Shinichiro sacrificed himself for, so, so many times. He can only stay near Mikey and try to not have him killed when they're in a world where being murdered is common. Mikey is strong, but he won't ever survive a bullet shot in the wrong place.

For Takeomi though, when he joins Bonten, his sister is dead. After his best friend. He failed the two people who meant the most to him and who appointed him as their second in command because they trusted him. He let them die. It’s not a child game anymore. South signed his death warrant.

And Takeomi hasn’t seen Mikey or Sanzu in years. (They’re the only ones left, he can’t leave them alone. He can’t stay alone.)

That’s the first theory. Second is, he crashes, he and Mikey end up meeting again, he gives him the role as his advisor. Rinse, repeat. The circle continues ; Bonten is at the top of Japan. Mikey is at the top of Japan – and that, even without Kisaki. 

Even without Kisaki.

Is Takeomi on the same level as Kisaki ? I don’t know. Kisaki is the moon to Mikey’s sun. But what was Takeomi to Shinichiro ? Perhaps his rain. And I'll keep going with the ‘perhaps’, because we’re never shown what Takeomi is to Shinichiro, beside a friend. Every meaningful interaction they have is from Takeomi’s POV. In Shinichiro’s chapters, Takeomi is briefly mentioned once when Sanzu gets out of the juvenile center, then when Shinichiro time leaps, he is too focused on Mikey to give (me) us any useful interaction/thought about Takeomi. There’s only one case, “Takeomi…” in chapter 273 but without that ? The start of chapter 269 is shallow. It gives us information on Shinichiro’s relationship with Mikey and Takeomi’s own relationship with his siblings (“I'm like his father figure at this point. Its best from him to learn from his peers” /"What kind of parent would let their kids learn from gang rides ?”) and also a quick information on Black Dragon founding members but that information is basically ‘they’re good friends :)’.

Anyway, Shinichiro nicknamed Takeomi ‘Rain Bringer’. So what does rain symbolize in Japan and does it somewhat fit Takeomi ? Rain is strongly linked to death and rebirth (as water usually is in Japan), to becoming something, someone else. This makes a nice little link with his siblings as Senju’s flowers are sakura (and so is her image color, pink sakura) which also symbolize the cycle of death and rebirth, the fleeting nature of life, how short if is, but also renewal and optimism, and Sanzu got his name from Sanzu no kawa, the three-crossing river, who is a river souls have to cross to get to the afterlife and/or to resurrect.

Takeomi’s other nickname, which wasn’t given by Shinichiro, is God of war. Japan has two gods of war, either Hachiman from shintoism, or Bishamonten from buddhism (since it’s Japan we’re talking about, those two got mixed up a bit but). Hachiman is a god of war and agriculture and was said to determine a samurai’s fate in battle (chapter 230 : “[...] my decisions determined how any conflict would end”). Bishamonten is a god of war and warriors, a punisher of evildoers and the ruler of rain. Bishamonten also carries a chatra (a kind of umbrella that symbolizes kingship, sovereignty).

This, while it gives more tracks to analyze Takeomi, doesn’t answer the question ‘What was Takeomi to Shinichiro’. So, if the story refuses to give us the answer, we have to find some parallels with other characters and see if they fit.

Shinichiro’s...

...Baji

That’s right ! Baji and Takeomi share the same role. For this topic, Sanzu (and Senju) is the anomaly between him, Baji and Mikey.(and although we could say Sanzu is Baji’s parallel, he’s mostly Kakucho’s.)

Let’s start with why Wakui decided to depict them that way.

For Mikey and Baji, it was mostly there to show how long they’ve known each other. Mikey had said they were childhood friends but that doesn’t give us a time indication as to when they met. Then, there is the ‘Baji is behind’ aspect. It isn’t a problem between them, that Baji never wins against Mikey, no matter the years. Baji is just after Mikey and can’t reach the top yet.

For Shinichiro and Takeomi, it’s the same. ‘They’ve known each other for how long?’ ‘Probably since then’. Takeomi is behind Shinichiro who is standing at the top. Takeomi wants to do so too, and Shinichiro helps him to. Takeomi can’t stand here unless Shinichiro holds him still.

Shinichiro doesn’t enjoy being Japan’s number 1 - standing at the top. He became a delinquent to form relationships, to have fun, to deal with his father’s death and his mother’s stay in the hospital. He wasn’t against becoming the strongest but it wasn’t his goal (chapter 142, Shinichiro, in a quick Inui’s flashback: “Is winning really that important ?”). After all, if there’s nobody above you, the only people left are below, and Shinichiro says it, it’s only bullying and that’s meaningless (chapter 230, “Now that there's no one better than us, at this point it's just gonna be bullying the people weaker than us, wouldn't it ?”)

However, the childhood friend dying changes. For Mikey and Baji, the one climbing dies ; for Shinichiro and Takeomi, the one at the top does. How can we interpret this ? We already did for Takeomi – that means the one climbing falls. But for the one already on top ? The person who (tried to) followed him there died on the way. He’s still on top, but now he’s alone. Mikey is never alone, but after Shinichiro, Baji’s death is one of the last indispensable nail on his coffin. A nail aggravating his isolation and loneliness.

Personality wise, Baji and Takeomi are awfully different. Takeomi is awfully different to all characters – he is one of the most flawed and most fans don’t find him any redeeming quality.

Baji does share one of Takeomi’s characteristics, and that’s what (ironically) led to Shinichiro’s death. As Kazutora says in chapter 44 while stealing the bike: “You might complain but you always go along with whatever I'm doing”, Baji follows people. He can do well on his own (Valhalla), but if it wasn’t for his stubbornness in pursuing Mikey around (chapter 39, Mikey: “We lived in the same neighborhood. It’s not like we got along that well. He was always picking fights with me”), they wouldn’t have become childhood friends. They are also younger than their childhood friends (Sanzu and Shinichiro are the oldest).

Baji is Shinichiro in one aspect though: he is the one to have created Toman and to have assigned every founding member their role in the gang. (Baji does it in a flashback of chapter 63, Shinichiro gave Takeomi his position as vice-captain so it won’t surprise me if he gave Wakasa and Benkei their). They both also challenge people stronger than them. (Shinichiro on a daily basis “He'd challenge guys way stronger than him to fights”, Baji with Mikey “He was always picking fights with me. And I handed him his ass every time.”).

If there are parallels between Shinichiro and Baji – are there parallels between Takeomi and Mikey ? The answer is yes. They both don’t know what to do after Shinichiro’s death (and Mikey is even more lost after Baji’s), so much that if you push them in the wrong path, they end up as the number 1 criminal organization of their country (Kisaki for Mikey (Bad toman, Manila) helped to speedrun the process — as we see with Bonten, Mikey’s circle in Bonten (Sanzu “There they are ! The dark impulses ! I've been waiting for this” Haruchiyo) helped too. And the one thing to do to get Takeomi back in his prime is to restore his self-confidence (Bonten, and what he was close to do with Brahman)), they both cope with their emotions the same way as well, ‘I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day, I’ll die’ as one may say. They hide between smiles or blank faces. Little things matter as well, so.. chapter 123, Mikey “I wanna stand out” - they both do (even if Mikey is about 4 in this chapter).

...Kisaki

the fact takeomi is both baji and kisaki is hilarious pls. Those two hated each other so much. Well i wont be surprised if Wakui made it official that Takeomi hates himself

Yeah you read that right. Takeomi is Shinichiro’s Kisaki to the same extent he is Shinichiro’s Baji. Like with Baji, he fills Kisaki’s role while dealing with it differently – they don’t have the same personality so it’s not that surprising.

They’re both the gang’s ‘brain’. Whereas Takeomi was given the position, Kisaki approached Mikey with this exact idea in mind. Kisaki wanted to make Tenjiku Toman (chapter 126, “I'm going to make my own Toman”), and Takeomi was about to transform Brahman into (a much darker) Black Dragon (Chapter 219, Senju: “Brahman’s gotten bigger.. and Takeomi has changed. Now, instead of making brahman ‘stronger’ he thinks that making it ‘bigger’ is more important”  → all the more people to praise him). Both had the same goal too (to become number 1), and end up being criticized for it because of their way to attain it by Mikey (“in order to make Toman bigger I've ignored your underhanded methods until now. But that ends here [...] Your arbitrary decisions will screw up my dream”) and Senju ("I get that not all the jobs we take will be clean. However, thinking about dirtying Brahman for trash like that pisses me off”) when those two asked them are the one who asked them to guide them (chapter 265, Mikey: “there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart. Sometimes that ‘something’ expands and drives me to destroy absolutely everything. Kisaki… I want you to stay by my side with that part of me. I want you to guide me, Kisaki” (and worse, when Kisaki asked him if he’s sure, even if Kisaki doesn’t guide him the way he wants, Mikey answered “yeah, I don’t care.” But then, it was before Takemichi waltzed in his life); chapter 230, Senju: “I want someone who I can trust ! Someone who can give some guidance to the team ! Will you fill that role, big bro ?”). They had different reasons, for sure, Kisaki wanted Hinata’s love, Takeomi wanted (to keep) that idolizing love other people had for him, but those different reasons have the same roots.

They never grew up from their child-mindset.

Kisaki kept that childish logic of ‘Hinata loves Takemichi. Takemichi wants to be Japan's number 1 delinquent. Hinata loves Japan's number 1 delinquent. If I’m Japan's number 1 delinquent, Hinata will love me.’ (and he wanted Hinata’s love because she was the only one interacting with him and being nice to him, she said “He’s a good kid” when everyone else doesn’t, even back in elementary school where he is described as “creepy”) and Takeomi kept that childhood wish of being important, needed, validated.

Now, they turned out differently because of a very essential point :

Chapter 182, first chapter of Kisaki’s flashback : “When I was in elementary school, they called me a child prodigy.”

Chapter 230, Takeomi’s chapter : “Whether it be in sports, or studies, I was just average. I was but a normal child, not special at all.”

Kisaki was made aware from an early age that he was smart. He is as arrogant as much his intelligence allows him to be (sure, it’s insufferable, but he is as smart as he says). He is well-assured of his capacities and is the one to make his life decisions, he is very independent from Mikey or anyone else. Kisaki has an actual self-esteem. He doesn’t under or overestimate himself. He knows what he does, he knows he is the one doing so. Takeomi is the opposite. He’s too arrogant, doesn’t know in what he is smart, but the others say so, so he must be, he makes his decisions while looking at Shinichiro – he got there thanks to Shinichiro. And Kisaki got there thanks to Takemichi, although in another way. Kisaki also followed Takemichi around. By stalking him, but still. And unlike Takeomi, Kisaki is very conscious of it when he lies, it is but another strategy to manipulate people.

Kisaki is Takeomi if people had noticed and talked about his capacities in his childhood. Takeomi is what Kisaki could’ve been if people never praised him, if he never finished number one at any national mock exam and if he became childhood friends with Takemichi (instead of stalking him).

Both of them corrupted Toman and Brahman (and Black Dragon if Shinichiro hadn’t been Shinichiro). “Brahman is closer to a group of adult gangsters than they are a motorcycle gang. Some nasty rumors follow them, too.” (chapter 215, Inui); “Money is power. How valuable do you think your ‘strength’ is !?” (chapter 229, Takeomi); but are also the reason why they became huge organizations. They are the reasons why Brahman (almost) and Toman fell into criminal organizations (although Toman would’ve anyway).

They also both first got into a gang when they were 13. (Black Dragon was created the 22nd February 1995 – Takeomi was born the 10th march 1981 (the year after Shinichiro’s own birth btw, Shinichiro who is the oldest Black Dragon founding member), so he was about to turn 14 BUT HE WASN'T, and in 2005 Kisaki is 13 since he was born the 20th january 1992 (two years younger than Mikey, one year younger than Takemichi))

...Draken.

Shinichiro and Mikey both have their “This is the breeze of a new era !”(chapter 230)/”I’m gonna seize this world” (chapter 223) speech that only Takeomi/Draken could hear ; and they’re both vice-captain/second in command.

When Black Dragon gets officially disbanded (their final garthering), Wakasa and Benkei shed a tear or two, Shinichiro being the crybaby he is, has a lot of tears running down his face, and Takeomi… too. Takeomi is the only one with his eyes close. He grins his teeth. He can’t accept this reality, can’t look at it. Even if Shinichiro talked about it with him beforehand. And… it’s the same with Draken. Not that Mikey informed him before saying Toman was over (and they didn’t have a second generation to lend the name too, as opposed to Black Dragon), but with how he reacted. On paper, he said he agreed with it (even after his “What ? What’re you goin’ on all of a sudden ?” in chapter 189 which is the same as Takeomi’s “Disband !? But why !? I mean, we just became Japan's number one !” in chapter 230, and Mikey also disbanded Toman after becoming Japan’s number 1), that since it was Mikey’s choice, he had “no objection to the leader's decision” (chapter 189), but in reality, not only do we learn it’s not true when they dug up the time capsule (chapter 198, Draken reading his letter : “I’m at a crossroads in my life right now. Toman disbanded. […] I actually regret it. Toman is everything to me. Im sure everyone in toman felt that way ? I’m worried… I cried”), but he also joins Brahman. There was nothing prior to that revelation pointing at it. In Bonten he has his shop, he says “I’m retired” and “I left everything i had back in Tokyo Manji” to South (chapter 211) in his letter he wrote “So, I'm leaving all of my regrets in here” and that’s what teenager Draken tried to do. But he joined Brahman instead. And we learn why after, when he says in a flashback to Mitsuya (chapter 238) : “Have you grown accustomed to living life without Toman ? Because I can't seem to move on from it. That’s why I think i’m gonna go back to the life of deliquent. I’ll continue following Mikey [...]”. Draken couldn’t leave Toman, his whole life behind. Then why did he in Bonten ? Because Senju died. Not only must it have affected him, but it affected Takeomi, Wakasa and Benkei. And, yes, we can say Senju died in Bonten regardless of the fact it’s never said. Why ? Bonten is a memorial for Izana, its symbol, its members’ tattoo come from Izana’s earrings and the (天) ten of Bonten 梵天 from Tenjiku 天竺, the (梵) bon of Bonten 梵天 comes from Brahman 梵. The executives, advisor, second and third in command, are either former Tenjiku member or Senju’s brother (or both for Sanzu but again, can we really say he was a Tenjiku member when it’s clear he was acting as a spy on Mikey’s unaware behalf..) - and its leader had a deep relationship with those two as well. There’s no need for Senju to have the same role as Izana in Bonten if she’s not dead. So, Senju’s death is the answer as to why Draken utterly left Toman (and Mikey) behind in Bonten timeline (he loves Mikey very much but he can't lose any more loved ones). But Draken’s wish to get back to Mikey until then, his refusal to abandon Toman, was what led him and Takeomi to understand each other. That’s what led to Takeomi recruiting Draken (because he must have been the one to come up with the idea, like he is the one to have thought about recruiting Takemichi). That’s what leads Takeomi to get this angry at his death. Not only is Takeomi is partially responsible for it, Draken is essential to bring back Mikey, and Takeomi is not. And so, “If you wanted to kill someone it should've been me !” (chapter 225). And also why he becomes even more angry when Mikey arrives (“Fuck off, Kanto gang ! You guys abandoned Draken !”). Takeomi takes his role as Senju’s second in command very seriously, she asked him to guide the team and he accepted, he swore to give his all for them (chapter 230). He is the one telling her to keep cool and not being driven by her emotions (chapter 218), which is ironic because he’s the one to act before thinking after Draken’s death whereas Senju tries to calm him down (and fails).

Kanto being “a three-way state of equilibrium between these three teams and has entered the three deities era” (Yamagishi, chapter 208) was not an innocent choice when it is also revealed in chapter 226 by Senju that “Benkei and Waka. Before the first generation of Black Dragon happened, these two divided the Kanto region. Kanto used to be divided into two parts”. South takes the role of Benkei, and Senju, who created Brahman for the only purpose of stopping Mikey the same way Kodo Rengo was formed to stop Ragnarok’s expansion, takes the role of Wakasa. This is also backed up by their fighting style and body type. Mikey takes Shinichiro’s role, but whereas Shinichiro ‘defeated’ Wakasa and Benkei and became their friends and leader which lead to them ruling over the region, Mikey crushed South/Rokuhara Tandai and made Senju disband Brahman, for the same result (Takemichi could’ve taken on Shinichiro’s role but the power of friendship can’t do everything). And Draken is in Takeomi’s role. Not Sanzu. (because Sanzu doesn’t care about Toman while Draken just wants it back.). Furthermore, I like the fact South, in the final timeline, “is a heavyweight champion of foreign martial arts. When he visits Japan, he hangs out at the Gojo gym” because not only does South finally have friends (like Senju, he is friendless in canon-timeline) but because Benkei’s dream is “to produce a MMA champion from Gojo gym”, which while not being exactly the same thing is still close enough for me.

A difference between them worth mentioning is that while Draken is the oldest of Toman founding members, Takeomi is the youngest of Black Dragon founding members.

(+ Inui, Kokonoi:

The other character introduced as refusing the end of Black Dragon is Inui. He's a character who is developed alongside Kokonoi who can't accept Akane's death.

But whereas Takeomi seemingly doesn't do anything by himself to get out of his vicious circle and debts, Inui actively tries to keep Black Dragon alive. He even takes Shinichiro’s shop as his hideout (with Kokonoi), although it has been abandoned. Nobody else came to keep that place alive – it reminds them of a too painful reality. And it could've with Inui too, but Inui has only good memories of this place (chapter 143, Inui: “All those senpai who’d stop by were so dazzling and awesome. [...] I heard so many stories in this bike shop from our senpai. They all had so much fun talking about their old leader [...] Even as an adult, he could still laugh about the dumb stuff he did years ago together with his friends.”). Not to say the others don’t; but Inui is able to see pass the pain of this happiness unable to come back.

Inui is the first out of the three to let it go. He finds Takemichi and realizes that.. maybe he could live without Black Dragon. It takes a bit but Bonten Inui has let it go completely, unlike Kokonoi and Takeomi, both going deeper and deeper into criminality ; both still running away from reality, refusing to look back and see what they loved isn't there anymore.

Inui heals in Bonten. He doesn't in Bad Toman, where he's with Hakkai who became BD 11th leader. He doesn't in Manila, where Izana who was the 8th BD leader and the first leader Inui worked under comes back. Always running after BD shadow. Manila Inui met Takemichi, but Manila Inui wasn't separated from Kokonoi, not for years, not for more than a decade, since Tenjiku merged with Toman. They probably didn't have their 'Akane is dead, I'm Seishu!' talk, and if they did, it clearly didn't change anything.

We don't know how Inuis family life is. We know his parents couldn't pay for his sister's surgery and she ended up dying. We know he had had to witness his best friend lose himself in the prospect to make money. We know somewhen, he met Shinichiro. Spent time with him at his shop. Perhaps to stay away from home ? Home who burnt him? Home who took away his sister ? Meeting Shinichiro did a lot to him accepting his sister's death, surely. A bit of positivity in his life. But nobody was there for him when Shinichiro himself died. When Izana disappeared nobody knew where and the Haitani Brothers left Black Dragon when it became to hard to deal with, leading it to fade away (chapter 105, Kokonoi: “They ended up in a tough spot when the Haitani brothers of Roppongi came to power… So they ditched the gang, and disappeared.”).

Inui learnt about it after getting out of juvie. He went to juvie for Black Dragon. For Izana. This can't be the end of it. So he makes Taiju the 10th leader. He's not loyal to him because he's Taiju, he's loyal to him because it's the Black Dragon leader (chapter 143, Inui: “That good old Black Dragon I used to know was no more. I panicked when Black Dragon died for a while. That’s when I sought help from Shiba Taiju.”). But the Christmas Showdown happens, and Inui witnesses the force of nature that is Takemichi Hanagaki. And he's like Shinichiro was.

He leaves Black Dragon behind when he puts on Toman uniform for the first time. Black Dragon won't ever leave him, but he can let it go and cherish the memories he has. He didn't get to be in Black Dragon when he wanted to (chapter 143, Inui: “I’ve always admired such a team. That’s why I joined Blakc Dragon. But by the time I joined Black Dragon it was the eightth generation. It was shit.”) and that changed him (as being in a gang changed Takeomi) (chapter 143: ”During the eighth and ninth generations.. our gang did extortion, robbed people, sold drugs, all sorts of heinoius stuff. There was no trace left of the gang’s original intentions. And before i knew it, the gang’s evil had an influence on me. I landed myself in juvie.”), but he can maybe experience a similar thing with Takemichi, or maybe it'll be completely different. It's okay, he has turned the page. Now, he has to bring back Kokonoi and make him turn the page as well. Except Inui had a slow and nice 'turn the page', while Kokonoi won't.

Kokonoi needs more time, Kokonoi can't let Akane go just yet, even if Inui yells at him to stop acting as if he was seeing his sister instead of himself. Inui practically slaps him up. He has failed during Tenjiku, but this failure planted a seed in Kokonoi's mind which finally bloomed during the battle with Kanto Manji. It's a more abrupt realization than Inui got, but it doesn't hurt him. Akane tells him to let go, that she's glad he did all of that for her but that he doesn't need to continue – she's dead. Seishu is not. And even if that's meaningless, even if he knows he's, they're, going to lose, he goes help Inui against Wakasa and Benkei.

Takeomi's realization of having done something wrong falls upon him all at once. A part of it. His realization concerning Brahman, about Senju and Sanzu is there ("I've failed Brahman principles"(chapter 230)/"But me going crazy and Haruchiyo going astray[...]"(chapter 241) and it hurt him. Acknowledging his mistakes to himself and to others, to Senju, made him cry.)

But where is his realization about Black Dragon and Shinichiro ?)

But not Shinichiro’s Takemichi.

Takeomi isn’t Shinichiro’s Takemichi because for starters, Takemichi is Shinichiro as it is constantly repeated throughout the story.

Takemichi changed Mikey’s life (if it wasn’t for him, he would’ve kept listening to Kisaki, kept thinking he only needed darkness, he would’ve killed Kazutora (chapter 265)). Takeomi didn’t change much Shinichiro’s. Not the same way Takemichi did at least. Mikey, like Takeomi, needed someone to guide him, to follow around, whether this person was Takemichi or Kisaki depends entirely on the timeline’s events. Shinichiro could guide himself, he didn’t need somebody to show him the way. So what ? Why does it matter? It matters because all the friendships in this story have an impact on the characters it concerns. Whether it be the Twin Dragons, Izana and Kakucho, Inui and Kokonoi, Mikey is changed by Pah (going to jail), Kazutora (Shinichiro’s death), Baji (him siding with Kazutora and his own death), Draken (“Draken is Mikey’s heart. He compensates for what he’s lacking”) (not Mitsuya though. Which is very sad. I want a concrete example of how Mìtsuya impacted Mikey's life!!)… And the Black Dragon are out of this rule. Especially Shinichiro. Takeomi, Wakasa and Benkei all changed because of him (in good for Wakasa & Benkei, in what could’ve been good but ended up bad for Takeomi) but the other way around isn’t shown to be true. Wakasa & Benkei became friends, really good friends since they own a gym together in several timelines, and Takeomi got something to fill his lack of self-esteem which then got taken away from him without him having learnt how to cope with it in the meantime.

And Wakasa & Benkei aren’t supposed to have a gym in canon-timeline. Wakasa is a gang leader in the original timeline – supposedly he only changed vocation because Shinichiro told him about the original timeline and he decided not to go down that path. But then, when did Shinichiro had the time, during his time in the past, to tell Wakasa about his time leap ? He barely stayed one day. So did Wakasa, in the original timeline, came back to the illegal world so he can produce/obtain money and help Shinichiro out ? We don’t know what Benkei does in the original timeline, but I’d find it hard to believe he’s not with Wakasa. As for Takeomi, his situation is most likely the same, he’s in debt (which would explain that brief “Takeomi…” from chapter 272 from Shinichiro before he has to focus on the date, and very much alive Mikey). Or, if we want to look at another option, since Shinichiro got into “shaddy stuffs” (as he says in chapter 270), they could’ve followed and got back into delinquency. If they did it fast enough, Takeomi probably didn't get to the point of having debts. If you add the “Join my gang, Shin. With you we'd be the top gang in the world” of Wakasa (same chapter)  to any of this option, and the lack of negative response from Shinichiro you end up with one terrifying timeline where Shinichiro could have become, actually, a bad guy (or kill himself anyway).

What did all three of them do to make Shinichiro grow, positively or not ? Nothing (concrete that is, his admired/respected people are ‘’the Black Dragon First Generation Members‘’). Shinichiro’s entire personality, and that’s one of the only if not the only character, is centered exclusively around his family, mostly but not only, Mikey. He is changed by his father’s death and his mother’s hospitalization and starts to be a delinquent, he is changed by Mikey’s accident, by Emma running away, by his grandfather dying, by Mikey’s death and is so broken he is ready to believe in time travel, maybe was he also changed by Izana’s reaction when he discovered they weren’t blood-related. Only Wakasa is here in his flashback. No Benkei, only a mention of Takeomi. That’s not right. They’re his friends, why aren’t they here ? Why do we have so little information ?

Shinichiro stays the same until Mikey has his accident. He isn’t shaped by anybody else, not even his childhood friend whom he has known for more than a decade.

Shinichiro didn’t need guidance like Mikey did, but he didn’t need to stagnate either.

– which beg the question : Why did Wakui decide to put the exact same kanji, pronounced the exact same way in both Takeomi (武臣) and Takemichi (武道)’s name ? As a writer, making this decision means something (most of the time), alas, i didn’t find what. (Takemichi like Takeomi has self-esteem problems at the beginning of the story because he got beaten up as an middle school student by Kiyomasa but other than that..)

What I did find was Wakasa, Benkei and Takeomi pages in the third guide book. There’s still not much about Shinichiro (he is listed as all three’s admired/respected person), but there’s a bit more about their relationship with Takeomi. First, the one thing that actually surprised me : Wakasa and Benkei are listed as Takeomi’s disliked/feared people. Then, Wakui was kind to explain since it’s followed by “(They look down on me )”. Now, to see if it’s true or not (if they do think that, or if it’s just Takeomi (who must be such an unreliable narrator)) we have to take a look at Wakasa and Benkei’s own page.

Takeomi is only mentioned once for Wakasa, in his ‘a day in his life’ :

“I had a one-week holiday, so I went on a quick trolling trip to Okinawa. I wanted to enjoy fishing alone, but Takeomi and Benkei came along. The aim was yellowfin tuna. Takeomi got tired of not being able to catch anything after 3 hours on the boat and said he wanted to go home, while Benkei was seasick and exhausted. I knew I shouldn't have brought them along.”

We learnt that Takeomi isn’t that patient (to be fair, fishing isn’t something he likes to do, unlike Wakasa) but not that much is said about how Wakasa really thinks about him and him alone. He is irritated by both of his friends, who ruined his holiday, equally. You can’t say if he looks down on Takeomi or not.

For Benkei, Takeomi is also mentioned once and it’s in his ‘a day in his life’ as well :

“The gym is closed today. Takeomi persistently invited me out for a drink. I usually don't go, but we went to an izakaya together. His drinking is long. At first its fun, but as we get deeper into it, he starts to brag. He talks about the Brahman Senju created as if he created it. He has always been like that. I remember he used to brag about Shinichiro's achievements as if he himself had done them. Shinichiro liked him, including such a bad part of him.”

It gives more than Wakasa’s did. First, Takeomi, although he dislikes/fears them, still tags along with both of them when he can. Second, not that much of a news, Takeomi brags and takes on Senju’s achievements, the same way he took on Shinichiro’s. Third, Shinichiro was aware of it and didn’t stop him ?

While we can say Benkei is probably irritated by it, like for Wakasa we can’t say he looks down on Takeomi.

It pains me that there’s not much interaction between them. You can say Wakasa and Benkei are friends – but do they consider Takeomi a friend ? I don’t think he’s still labeled ‘Shinichiro’s friend’ in their mind, but – especially with Takeomi’s fall – they aren’t close, have they ever been. They don’t have that kind of relationship like Toman’s founding members have for example. Perhaps they did once.

Takeomi’s page, in my opinion at least, is the one that gives the more information on the character it‘s about. He likes Akechi Mitsuhide because he has the same birthday as him (sure why not – Akechi Mitsuhide, to make it very short, a general in the Heian period who attempted to become Shogun, and whose reign as Shogun lasted thirteen days), he dislikes making efforts (makes sense, he makes others’ achievements his own, which also leads to:), his special talent is taking advantages of people, and his dream is to be a multimillionaire (he is also ranked number 1 best to ‘Who has a way with words ?’).

Except confirming what I was already thinking, it still doesn’t offer much (but i’m so glad it has been explecitely written). But his failure story, that’s, well, another story.

And all of that offers a great transition, but let me change the topic first –

Family - the first thing you learn to run away from

(You were probably waiting for it from the start, sorry it took so long for me to talk about it !)

Takeomi’s failure story goes like this :

“I was their father figure. My father was busy because we are a motherless family. I was strict with Haruchiyo because he’s a man. He cut my face with a knife one day and left the house. He’s a hell of a fucking brother. I vowed that one day I would let Senju punish him.”

Sanzu gave him the scar.

Worse, looking at the timeline, Takeomi doesn’t have the scar when Black Dragon is founded (in February 1995 Sanzu would have been 4 so, not that surprising) but he gained it along the way, before Black Dragon disbandment (in late spring, early summer 1999, so Sanzu was either 8 or 9 (Takeomi was 18 – they have a 9 years gap)). That’s… young. What could have pushed Sanzu to do this ? Did Takeomi really do such a poor job raising him, Sanzu decided that attacking him was the only way out or something like that ? Sanzu, who says to Senju, “I wish I knew how to talk back to big bro like how Mikey and Baji do…” (chapter 241), cut his brother’s face with a knife before the age of nine? (he was nine when he said that, so perhaps he did stand up for himself before but then he gradually stopped (or all at once, it depends on how Takeomi reacted to being cut i suppose.)).

This leads to a question : did any outsider of their family know about it ? Sanzu probably wasn’t running around yelling about what he did, but did Takeomi complain (to Shinichiro) or did he keep his mouth shut about how his scar came to be. Both ? Complained about how hard it is to raise Sanzu (who ran away after what he did) while saying his new scar is from a fight he has gotten into ?(of course he didn’t get his scar from a 4-9 years old. Who do you take him for, he wouldn't let anyone, let alone a child, scar him like that.) Since we know Sanzu doesn’t go home when he’s in Toman (chapter 206, Muto : “What's with that look in your eye ? You don't have anywhere you belong ?”), it may not be an unusual thing for him to run away. (Which begs the question: what does his grandmother and father think about it ? Are they even aware of it ?)

Looking again at the timeline, what did Mikey and Takemichi do during the final reset ? They came back in October 1998 (Sanzu 8, Takeomi 17), yet Takeomi has his scar during the wedding. So either Sanzu cut his face before (and be 8 years old at most), or Mikey and Takemichi failed to prevent it.

this baby cut his brother’s face.

Talking about scars… We never got to see how Takeomi reacted when Sanzu got his. Did he blame him (he thought Sanzu was the one who broke the toy plane before Senju confesses she is in chapter 241) ? Did he just not do anything and left (oh sweet guilt) ? Did he decide to stay away from Mikey a bit ? Did he go to the hospital ?

For both Sanzu cutting Takeomi’s face and the toy plane incident, I pity Senju for having to witness it and feel guilty for not doing anything, but also because she knows sometimes she should be punished and not Sanzu. Her and Hakkai should get along well (once he stops freezing everytime girls talk to him).

But above all, I pity all of them for witnessing how the Sano family works. How, even though they also have absent parents, they’re healthy. How Mikey talks back to Shinichiro, how Emma loves her brother without feeling unwanted or lonely, how Shinichiro knows how to raise his siblings even with his family life, his parents' condition. And my heart ached the first time I read chapter 273 and Sanzu called Shinichiro ‘Shin-nii’ – thing Mikey never did. They addressed Takeomi as ‘Take-nii’ in their childhood, but they stopped. (Sanzu calls Shinichiro ‘Shinichiro-kun’ in the original timeline, which makes you wonder why, but I think he did since he was young and stopped because, for one, Shinichiro is too busy with his study and taking care of Mikey, and two, Sanzu went to juvie.) And Sanzu goes directly to Shinichiro after getting his memories back. He shares his confusion with Shinichiro, even if what he says seems unbelievable (even for himself) because he trusts him and knows he can share his worries with him. And Shinichiro answered to this 13 years old needing reassurance by telling him he killed a man.

I’d give a lot to see how the Akashi father is. I’d give a lot to see how Takeomi was raised. Because with Shinichiro it’s easy. Mama Sano and Papa Sano, for the little we’ve seen of them, seemed like good, stable people. They must have raised Shinichiro great until they couldn’t anymore. We don’t know when Mikey’s mother got to the hospital, but his father died when he was 3, so Shinichiro at least spent 13 years of his life with (guidance from) his father. Sure, it would’ve been better if it be longer, but it’s already more than.. Taiju (which, with some calculation, was 8 when his mother died). But we don’t know for the Akashi. We only know that Sanzu and Senju don’t call themselves Akashi. That Senju says “ We’re the mysterious siblings !” which is funny but makes me think about ‘let’s not talk about whatever’s going on in our family/at home’ which is not funny. Think of it, if the Akashi parents were the same as the Sano, they wouldn’t have turned out that way. It’s not fair to compare families or even people but to be fair they’re characters so they’re meant to be compared. And maybe the Sano siblings would have turned out like the Akashi siblings if their dad survived and their mom still died, who knows.

Takeomi didn’t take Senju and Sanzu to gang meetings, or anything gang-related whereas Shinichiro did. There could be two reasons (which can both be true at the same time) : 1, gang stuffs are dangerous, who would bring kids along, seriously, Shinichiro ? (chapter 269, Takeomi “are you stupid ? what kind of parents would let their kids learn from gang rides ?” after Shinichiro said “I'm like his father figure at this point. It's best from him to learn from his peers”) 2, it was the only thing he had that wasn’t family/home, where he could be himself and not have to care about his siblings (and be completely crushed under his responsibilities and doing a poor job because of it--). The fact he didn’t isn’t that important, Sanzu didn’t want to be part of a gang to start with (chapter 277 : “Nah! I don’t wanna be a delinquent!”), he only joined Toman after having his memories from the original timeline back and talking with Shinichiro about it (and Shinichiro dying). But Black Dragon, like for Shinichiro, was Takeomi’s life and by not bringing Sanzu and Senju in it, he didn’t interact with them much, he let them out of his life. Mikey and Emma “followed him [Shinichiro] everywhere” (chapter 109, Mikey), Takeomi needed his me-time, far away from his siblings. He couldn’t, unlike Shinichiro, put on the ‘perfect big brother’ role/façade.

Since he left his house often, Sanzu was left in charge (chapter 241, Takeomi “[...] you have to set a good example for her”; chapter 249, Sanzu (to Senju) “Did you forget who raised you [...]?”). If Takeomi had to take care on their father's role, it’s easy to understand that he delegated his big brother role to Sanzu. This was clearly not a good move, but Takeomi back then didn’t understand how strict he was with Sanzu, nor how unfair it was that he would blamed him for things Senju had done (following the rule of ‘you’re the older, you should have taught her better’) (perhaps Takeomi was so strict with Sanzu because he lashed out all of his self-anger/hatred on him; there's also the fact he may have recognized himself (his childhood self at least) in Sanzu – shitty move, but as a professional of denial, Takeomi might not have even been aware of it). But Takeomi wasn’t meant to be their father figure in the first place, and he could have failed his big brother role as well even if their life had been different, but he shouldn’t have had to endorse the responsibility of raising his siblings, had he been given the choice or not. It’s also somewhat ironic, that Takeomi did take on their father’s role the same way their father did – he left home for work and everything to the oldest child who stayed. Just like Shinichiro took on his father’s role. Not only because Shinichiro spent time with his siblings, which their father seems like he would have done, but also because, like his father, he gifts Mikey a toy, and tragedy soon follows (his father’s death in the car accident, Sanzu’s scars or Mikey’s accident). He was also a crybaby – although his father never cried in public (chapter 263, Mikey: “My father also cried easily ?”, his mom: “I wonder if he ever cried in public? That man was hopeless”). Mikey looked up to him, like he looks up to his father. I honestly think Mikey, who was also a crybaby as a child (chapter 263, Mikey’s mom: “[...] you too… used to be a crybaby when you were younger. All you did was cry and wail.”), started to stop crying (in public and in private alike) after his father’s death. Sure, he was very young when it happened, but children lack life experience not intelligence, sometimes they’re very capable of reading the room, and Mikey, who probably didn’t understand what was happening, knew that weeping wouldn’t help his already crying brother and mother. Mikey saw his father as this very strong, capable man who protected the family and decided to take on that role by being ‘strong’, by not crying and by beating people up (chapter 263, Mikey: “I am not going to cry. That's why, mom, I'm going to protect you, so come back home”; “I met that big guy from east elementary’s third grade. And I beat him up !”, his mom: “You're so strong, Manjiro. Just like your father.”). He has one memory of his father, where he hands him a superhero figurine – and what are fathers if not the superhero of their young children ? 

Sanzu was a better big brother than Takeomi was. Sanzu, like Takeomi in the past, doesn’t want Senju to be in a gang and much less a gang leader (chapter 216, Senju : “Haruchiyo doesn't like the fact I’m the head of Brahman. He doesn't like that I'm the strongest and that Takeomi endorses me.”). “Because of my mistakes, Takeomi got mad at Haruchiyo even so Haruchiyo was always nice to me” (Senju, chapter 241) ; he could have. He could have let out the anger he had on Senju since he couldn’t talk back to Takeomi. He didn’t, because Sanzu was a kind child, but also because seeing how Takeomi favored Senju (in his actions, this does not mean he loved her more) if he had learnt Sanzu got angry at her or even made her cry… Sanzu was already aware of how his brother acted when he got angry.

I refuse to believe “The curse Shinichiro created by killing the time leaper, that is what my ‘dark impulses’ are. It affected everyone around him” (chapter 274) as the reason behind Sanzu and Mikey’s behavior. Simply because, if it did, then why was Wakasa, Benkei, Emma, heck even Sano grandpa, not affected by it ? And why was Kazutora ? The only way I accept it is with ‘it affected Sanzu because he was Shinichiro’s trigger, so they shared the power and by such, Sanzu had to carry a bit of the curse’ (im not going to talk about mikey’s case here but i also came up with a more complex reason as to why he was affected, that is not just ‘he was close to him’). However, we don’t know what the curse does. The homeless man only said ‘’curse you’’ (chapter 271), any explanation from a character who isn’t the homeless man can’t be taken as the perfect truth. Anyway, all of that to say that behind Sanzu (and Mikey’s) actions, there was a bit of genuinity. The curse pushed them to act, but a part of them wanted to act, the curse made them unable to stop (and think of alternative solutions), worse, the curse made them like it. (okay, it’s theory time heck it. the curse feeds on tragedy, the more tragedy, the more it grows, the more it grows, the more hungry it gets, the more it wants tragedy, the more it triggers tragedy. And by feeding on tragedy i mean all the negative feelings that go hand-in-hand with. Sadness, despair, helplessness, rage, regrets, guilt… It clings to someone who already has a tragic life (Mikey, Sanzu, … Kazutora,…) and it worsens it. End of theory time.) ANYWAY. All of that to say that, this ?

Was something Sanzu would (without the curse) regret, but did anyway because he couldn’t stop it (because of the curse) because a part of him wanted to (not necessarily, hit Senju with a pipe, but get a pay-back from what he had had to go through as a child. Who knows what he would have done to Takeomi if Wakui decided to not drop our ‘God of War’ by the road before the last fight of the story). And he says things her ‘always nice to her’ brother wouldn’t have said (especially) to her such as “fighting all flamboyantly like that.. you buzzing disgusts the hell out of me. You disgusting fly !” (chapter 248)

Sanzu knows Senju isn't responsible for Mikey's curse, but he learnt about it when he was 13; not before (i'm not saying that's why he hit her, that’s not my best transition). Who knows, maybe somewhere in his mind he did blame Senju before memories of the original timeline flew back to him and he realized whether the toy had broken or not, Mikey would've turned up like that either way. This also begs the question : what did Sanzu think about the accident, before Shinichiro admitted what really happened on that day, before he got his memories from the original timeline back ? What did he think about staying friends with the one who scarred him for life ? Did he really wholeheartedly agree to stay friends for life with Mikey to Shinichiro?

Speaking of the original timeline, Takeomi is said to be on “non-speaking terms” with Sanzu. But let’s put everything back into context : Sanzu “used a damn katana and slashed all of his friends” (Baji ; chapter 270) (which also doesn't support the 'it's because of the curse' explanation or the "You can't erase the curse! [...] I've been following Mikey as if I was in a trance [...]"(chapter 275) of Sanzu. Because there wasn't a curse in the original timeline to 'explain' Sanzu's behavior), and Baji himself says to Shinichiro “Why do you give a fuck about somebody like him ?”(same chapter). Whether Takeomi blames himself for how Sanzu turned out or not, Sanzu at best hurt his friends, at worst killed them. And in this timeline, Takeomi still has Senju to look after – hence, he can’t let Sanzu interact with her, and he refuses to talk with him after what he did (whereas in Bonten, Senju is dead and Takeomi came back in the game and ends up accepting murder as part of his, their, life) Takeomi is also against Mikey killing (South), as he says “Are you even human!? There’s no reason for you to go that far, y’know?!”(chapter 233) which Mikey kindly answers to by kicking Takeomi in the chin and saying “you're better off dead, too.”(same chapter). Shinichiro, like Sanzu, justifies it ; “He just attacked them because they were talking shit about Manjiro. Isn’t that how Haruchiyo is ?”. Would Shinichiro have justified it in another timeline, though ? If Mikey was okay, if Emma was there, if his grandfather didn’t die… Would he have accepted Sanzu’s actions ? Shinichiro in the original timeline, is in deep, deep denial about his entire life collapsing around him.

One second he’s working at a job he likes and wants to do, the other he is a university student, a nurse and his brother’s main and only caregiver. One second, he lives with what is left of his family, the other his brother is his only family left, and he can’t leave the hospital. Not only did his life go downhill after Mikey’s accident, he must blame himself for it too. Why did Mikey have his accident ? Because he didn’t want to lend the Concorde to Baji and the rest. Who bought the Concorde as a gift for him ? Shinichiro. He guided his brother, the boy he raised, to his death, and the girl he raised is nowhere to be seen (which might have been in part his fault since he was too busy studying for Mikey to pay attention to her), even though he had promised to his father to look after the both of them (chapter 269, “Father [...] I’ll take care of both Manjiro and Emma for you.”). His parents, his grandparents, he had nothing left. But Mikey is still alive. So he keeps on focusing on that, only that. Mikey can’t interact with people, nobody knows if he is aware of his surroundings, but he is alive and that fact alone is the only thing keeping Shinichiro from facing reality, from realizing that at this point, he is his family on his own, it’s the only thing keeping him going. He has to keep Mikey alive, to the price of his health (chapter 270, Baji: “In order to get the qualifications to be a caregiver he had to study while working in the hospital. I’m sure he doesn't even have time to sleep, his life is a total mess”; Wakasa: “I was worried that you'd be the first to die [...] Right now you're just rotting away”), his money, his morals (same chapter, Shinichiro: “I've gotten involved in many shady businesses. So I could help Manjiro in whatever he needed. I've done whatever therapies and even paid a lot for those suspicious religious groups”) anything, anything for Mikey. So of course, Haruchiyo was justified in his actions, no matter what Baji or Takeomi might say (plus, Baji says all kinds of things (“He isn't right in the head.”) but he still tags along and interact with Haruchiyo, he doesn’t fool many people. Then again, does Baji have any friends ? If “there’s nothing great about middle school”, he can’t meet Chifuyu, and who knows if he met any other founding members, if he met Kazutora at least.) because killing for Mikey is exactly what Shinichiro does.

The homeless man tells him to gain the power he killed his predecessor, and for a man who has lost everything, killing isn’t much. Except it doesn’t work. Shinichiro doesn’t go back to the past instantly after killing this man. His last hope is gone. And it wasn’t even one – he helplessly believed in the idea of time leaping because it was the only thing left he could believe in. So he kills himself. There’s nothing left anyway. Wakasa, Benkei, Takeomi, Haruchiyo, Baji ? Not enough. And then it works. He’s back. He saves Mikey. Then when he unexpectedly goes back to his present (2003) and goes look for the homeless man, he doesn’t find him. Probably to talk, to thank him. But the thing is, he killed this man. But not once is he seen feeling guilt about this. Denial ? Maybe. Or maybe it’s because he finds it justifiable. He killed for Mikey, for his baby brother, for his own sanity. One doesn’t mean the other isn’t true – he could justify it to stay in denial. He dies too soon after for him to learn to cope with what he did anyway.

There’s also the fact that out of everyone, he goes to Wakasa to tell him about the original timeline. Not Takeomi (who isn’t doing well in any point anyway), and not Benkei (who… we don’t know), but Wakasa. And he confesses his murder to him (as we’re told by Mikey, chapter 268 : “I was informed by Wakasa” ; chapter 274 : “the curse Shinichiro created by killing the time leaper… that is what my dark impulses are.”), the same way he confessed what he did in his previous timeline and what he thought of doing (“In these four years, I've gotten involved in many shady businesses [...] Maybe I should kill them all for deceiving me.” (chapter 270)).

So, while in the original timeline, Takeomi focuses on Senju even if that means neglecting Sanzu, Shinichiro focuses on Mikey which leads to Emma running away (to where, we don’t know). And those two little sisters fit their role differently. While Emma cooks (she is seen several time cooking; and to Draken after he asked her if she was housekeeping “well, gramps is old and…” (chapter 263)), likes cute things (the teddy bear she wanted and Draken got for her birthday), isn’t a fighter and in the final timeline becomes a housewife, Senju chases Mikey, Baji, and Sanzu around, wants to play with their toys (Mikey’s concorde), trains at Wakasa and Benkei’s gym and is a gang member. Takemichi refrains her to buy punk clothes and even though she still buys a lot of items, she prefers Brahman’s uniform and she goes shopping because Takeomi tells her to (“We’re shopping in Harajuku because Takeomi told me to ‘do some girly stuff sometimes.’ This is his card.”) and gives her his credit card (whose money comes from Brahman’s activities, so as to whether it’s his or Senju’s decisions leading to him being rich..). They’re both feminine, but Senju is a bit more of a tomboy in what she likes. Emma doesn’t feel lonely (“Since then, I've never felt lonely. Not even once”)(she has friends her age, such as Hinata), Senju clings to Takemichi the moment he joins Brahman (“Brahman’s full of old guys, so I’m glad people my age are joining”(chapter 216);”So can i think of us as friends now ?”(chapter 219))(seemingly, her only friends remain Mikey and Baji, whom she likely hasn't seen in years, even before Valhalla arc). They are also the only girls Takemichi saw in bra (chapter 9/chapter 216) but uh.. I don't want to know if that was made on purpose or not. But it joins the feminine/tomboy dichotomy – when Emma undressed, she had something else in mind (which, fortunately, didn't happen) and she has lace underwear, whereas Senju is very uninhibited (“Oh, it's fine. It's just sports bra”, chapter 216) and is wearing a sports bra like she says. They were raised the same way (Emma taking care of/helping her grandfather with chores ; Senju being forbidden to use ‘ore’ by Takeomi because it’s not ‘girlish’, making her go shopping for her to ‘do some girlish stuffs’; both being surrounded by men/boys (who are gang members, or former)) so it’s not because of outside influences they came to have different personalities and behaviors – Senju doesn’t fight or is tomboy-ish because she was raised among men (heck, she lives/lived at her grandmother’s while Emma had no woman/girl family members), she simply likes what society deems ‘for boys’ because she is herself and likes those things ; same for Emma, she doesn’t force herself to be someone she isn’t.

The Akashi are a motherless family but we don’t know why. If the Sano parents are dead (beside Karen, Emma’s mom) then I have two theories coming to mind. Either, the Akashi parents are alive or, they are indeed dead and the father in charge of raising them is Senju and Sanzu’s but not Takeomi's (or a mix of both, who knows). There are various details pointing to Takeomi being half-siblings with Senju and Sanzu.

First, it would be another obvious parallel with the Sano → Emma is Shinichiro and Mikey’s half-sister, but make it a twist by making the half-sibling the oldest instead of the youngest. Second, Manjiro (万次郎) and Shinichiro (真一郎) share a kanji and so do Haruchiyo (春千夜) and Senju (千咒)– if their parents wanted to give them names with a same kanji why don’t they all share it ? I get it with Emma (her mom probably named her and we don’t know how involved her father was in her life, plus, 郎 is a kanji that literally means ‘son/boy’, but she could have have a name ending with 子(ko) meaning ‘child’ and who’s only used in feminine names), but Takeomi ? If they wanted to do that, even if Sanzu and Senju came after, couldn’t they choose 武 or 臣 ? Both feminine and masculine names with those kanji seem to exist (and even if they didn’t, it’s the Japanese name system, they could very much invent it – that’s what they did for Senju!(can’t find information on this name like Wakui decided to write it)). And third, the Sano brothers look a lot alike (Mikey did get his hair color from his father but beside that, they both look a lot like their mother) while Emma looks like her mom (they don’t realize straight away she’s their sister “Isn’t she a foreigner ?”, chapter 123 and Takemichi, Hinata and Naoto don’t realize it either and think she’s dating Mikey for a brief moment in chapter 66 (although Takemichi ends up saying “They do have some sorta resemblance actually” after being told, but Mikey asks him “Really ?”), Sanzu and Senju both look extremely alike while Takeomi doesn’t (different hair color, eye shape, eyelashes, eyebrows - perhaps same eye color).

If we go along with this theory, which also makes their mother the parent they share and not their father like the Sano do (like they stay at their grandmother’s but the Sano stay at their grandfather’s), then the answer as to when Takeomi stopped living with his biological dad and moved in with his step-father would be important. Which one is responsible for how he raises his siblings, or perhaps they are both at fault ? When did their mom leave/die? Did someone ever tell Sanzu and Senju Takeomi was their half-brother ? If Takeomi’s step-father’s family name is Akashi, then Takeomi doesn’t use his birth family name either. And since Takeomi’s mom left him, does he feel the same way Emma feels about it ? (not saying his mother left for the same reason/the same way)

Or they could share the same father and have a different mother like the Sano. Either way, I’m craving for more information about them. They better not stay the “mysterious siblings” forever. Wakui pls

The Sano siblings are 4, we all know that. Izana is a Sano. So what if he throws the parallels off-balance ? He doesn’t. If you’re as delusional as I am, Muto is the Akashi’s Izana.

While Izana knew Shinichiro and Emma, and never got to know Mikey before dying in Tenjiku, Muto knew Sanzu and never got to know Takeomi and Senju. When they met, Mikey had lost Shinichiro and Emma, Sanzu left his home (and most likely stopped interacting with his siblings - although the “Haruchiyo doesn't like the fact im the head of Brahman. He doesn't like that I'm the strongest and that Takeomi endorses me” of Senju in chapter 216 means that he made his disapproval known). Izana knew of Mikey (Shinichiro kept talking about him), Muto didn’t know of Sanzu’s siblings. Muto also has the same age gap with Sanzu (and Senju) that Izana has with Mikey (and Emma). Izana was meant to parallel Mikey, Muto was meant to… parallel Takeomi. He parallels Sanzu too, in some points (staying loyal to their first ‘king’, being very harsh on betrayers/spies, having nowhere to go, Muto to Sanzu, chapter 206, “You don't have anywhere you belong ? You and I are pretty alike.”) but Sanzu said “I would've loved to have a big brother like you”(chapter 206) and so… either Wakui came up with Mucho or Takeomi first. Maybe he didn't even intend to narratively tie them in the first place. But they're still shaped in a way to be opposite. Sanzu took Mucho as his big brother figure first because he’s the opposite of the big brother Sanzu got and who failed him. Mucho’s betrayal against Mikey leaves him to die by Sanzu’s hands anyway, however, by betraying Mikey, he also betrayed Sanzu’s trust. His big brother failed him, again. A brother who told him “it's fine to be devoted to the king, but take care of yourself, too.”(chapter 206), not only validating his actions but saying he’s important as well, a brother who gave him his jacket, a brother who is the reason behind his favorite food (Sanzu’s favorite food is cheesecake for Cozy Corner and Mucho’s failure/heroic story explains why : “to make Haruchiyo Sanzu open up, Mucho bought him cheesecake from his favorite shop, Cozy Corner. The atmosphere was awkward and Mucho asked if something was wrong, to which Sanzu replied that he hated cheese, but would give it a try. There was no conversation after that.”), a brother who tried to make him open up, who tried to understand him, a brother who thought handing him a mask was a good idea because he was “missing out because of those scars” (chapter 206). Another perhaps useful information is that Sanzu dislikes “smothering people”, which was probably what Takeomi was to him (we already know Takeomi likes, has to be in control).

We only have one example of a moment the Akashi siblings spent together, only the three of them. And that’s Senju’s “it's super sparkly ! I haven't been [in an amusement park] since second grade of elementary school !” (chapter 219) and her hidden volume cover (which happened the same year Sanzu got his scars so between April 1st and July 30th 1999).

(Takeomi is the only character, on a (hidden or not) volume cover, we can’t see the face of. Most of them look directly at the reader, and if they don’t we can still see a bit of their face (just like Sanzu and Senju here).)

Final Timeline

It’s not a rant about the entire ending, that’s not the purpose of this post so I’ll only stick with Takeomi.

He’s the only one I have a problem with in this ending. Not him in particular, but his role, his job. Mikey and Takemichi fixed everything (the best they could), including the Akashi siblings’ relationship. All three of them work together.

I won’t say it’s bad for Takeomi’s development, it depends how it’s done and since it’s a happy ending for everyone, it shouldn’t impact anyone badly, But. Was him being the ‘self-proclaimed producer’ necessary ? I’m not against it, especially not if he has another (official) job on the side (and we know he’s smart enough to have one, and one who pays lots, which would also explain how he succeeds to ‘produce’ Senju & Haruchiyo). The only small problem I have with this is – he still lives by being someone important, needed, for somebody else, living on somebody else’s success. And it can be healthy ! But why is it ‘self-proclaimed’. Yuzuha isn’t Hakkai’s ‘self proclaimed’ manager. She is. Takeomi could very much be Haruchiyo and Senju’s producer. Sure they’re youtubers and I don't know if they can have official producers, but why? Takeomi, especially final timeline Takeomi, doesn’t need to brag about others’ achievements as if it was his own, he needs to brag about what he can and what he does by himself, without the need of anybody else.

And I don't say it’s what happens in the final timeline. But it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I hope he has another job where he constantly realizes he is the only reason why it succeeds. Because I don't need him to say ‘I raised them’ or ‘I produce them’ when someone praises Senju and Haruchiyo, as if he was the reason they became famous. I don’t need him to get Haruchiyo and Senju under the spotlight to steal it from them. I need him to be their producer because he can, because he wants to help and bond with them, without taking what they did for himself. I need him to have an individual job, to have built his career without anyone’s help, to see that he can succeed alone. And unfortunately, that’s not what this last chapter made me feel was happening.

Still, it is (and that’s why we’re here for, not me rumbling about how Takeomi’s job is the only one to piss me off because he’s the only character who ends up with a job that can screw up his development). First, I'm so glad the Akashi actually get to be siblings. There are still some issues they had had to fix (with Mikey and Takemichi’s help-), Takeomi and Haruchiyo’s relationship was already pretty bad (Takeomi has his scar on his face) but it got fixed ! Second, Takeomi deserves to feel needed (and to be), which he is by being their producer and i wish, if both sides do take advantages of the other, that it’s in the most healthy way (if that makes sense) – that “the money [...] spent out of Takeomi’s pocket” was his idea and Haruchiyo and Senju accepted (with perhaps the intention of paying Takeomi back later, maybe not with money, since Takeomi doesn’t seem to need it, but still, to do something to show Takeomi it was appreciated) and that Haruchiyo and Senju thanks him publicly, without his ego feasting on it.

I hope he got his self-esteem restored. Which of course that’s what happened, we’re in the final timeline and everything’s good. But. I really hope he did.

And I choose to believe that the “same old Takeomi.” from Shinichiro means Takeomi the same as he was when they were kids. Maybe not exactly, because Black Dragon 1st generation and Takeomi’s superiority complex happened, but that Shinichiro recognizes his childhood friend is doing well, that he’s still here somewhere and got healed.

+ What’s in a name ?

(I'm gonna do something I didn't do for the Shiba (there wasn't much to say about it for them))

Writers are careful with how they name their characters (I'm making generalities here) – and it's especially true with Japanese and Chinese Writers whose characters' name change meaning depending on how they decide to write it

So it's been odd to me, when I realized the ‘Take’ in both Takeomi and Takemichi were the same. Why would Wakui do that? It can't be a coincidence, right ? And indeed. The Akashi siblings' names hold meaning.

Let's start with 明司 (Akashi). 明 (aka) means light, bright and is made of the Kanji used for sun (日) and the one used for moon (月). Then, 司 (shi) means official, director, administrator and was once used to design governors the Emperor had appointed to carry out the imperial policies in provinces. So 司 is for people in power, but not at the top. As said before, 司 seems to come from 后 which is the same kanji upside down and which means ‘emperor, king, monarch..’.

武 from both Takeomi and Takemichi means ‘military, war’. Takemichi's name is actually made of the exact Kanji as Budō (武道, way of war/way of the martial arts). 臣 (Omi) means ‘retainer, subject’ and could be used as a ‘I’ when addressing one's master. Ah, and it can be pronounced ‘Shin’ by itself. Because of course it does.

Takeomi is either: the warrior retainer or the war/military retainer. But he can also be in some way, the director of the light (and so can be Sanzu and Senju.)

I've got more to say about Sanzu than Senju so I'll start with her. Search "Senju Japanese name" into a search bar, you won't end up finding it written like Wakui decided to write it. Not that it means it doesn’t exist, but it's not popular. And for cause, Wakui chose to write Senju: 千咒 – A thousand curses.

Now, who would name their child "curse", I don't know. Perhaps it's one of those names where they're supposed to be degrading so as to push bad spirits/ghosts away? I have two theories for this but they’re without any real basis. One of them is ; the person who named her was really angry at her birth and since we don’t know where is/what happened to their mother.. Yeah (either she died giving birth or for some reasons she named Senju that way before leaving/disappearing). Or it could be one of those ‘Kira Kira names’ (names outside of the norm parents decided were cool). Anyway, Senju thinks she is the reason why both Mikey and Sanzu (+Baji) turned up that way, which isn't true as we're being told after, but Senju thought she was the reason behind Mikey's curse – without knowing it was a curse.

I didn't find any real concrete stuff about Kawaragi. Which is sad. 瓦 means roof tile and 城 means castle. When put together with the Kanji 礫, 瓦礫 means rubbish, wreckage, debris. With the Kanji 解, it becomes 瓦解; collapse, downfall. Normally I won't dare to talk about things who seem to be a bit too coincidental. But 土崩瓦解 doesn't feel coincidental. It can either mean 'complete collapse' or, '(something) going to pieces', meaning 'broke beyond repair'. Which she did. Or rather, thinks she did (not only the toy plane, but “Ever since that day, they all changed… mikey, baji and Haruchiyo. They all changed, and it's because of me” (chapter 241, Senju)). Also, 瓦 is 万 but backward and 万 is the first Kanji of ‘Manjiro’ (万次郎). Which makes a lot more sense. I guess ? For 城; there's 成, meaning 'promoted' it's notably used in Shogi where some pieces can be, well, promoted.

I like to think Sanzu started calling himself such because Mikey and Baji decided to find themselves different names (even if Baji is never even once referred as Ed or Edward). But whatever the reason, Sanzu is one hell of a name. Quite literally, hell. If you look up "Sanzu'' and ignore the Tokyo Revengers-related things, you'd scramble upon: 三途の川 – Sanzu no Kawa. River of the three crossings. A place the deads have to cross after their deaths, and which leads them either to heaven, to hell, or to resurrection. Souls get punished there. Every sin gets met with a trial.

(Plus, it's interesting to know that those you get drag to Jigoku, "hell", fall in the water/river where a bunch of snakes await them. Whereas people who get a pass to Tengoku, heaven walk over a bridge. Sanzu is never called ‘sanzu’ in the original timeline. But you know how Shinichiro died the first time ? Yeah, you do. He isn’t called Sanzu once in the original timeline, and even if he is in the final timeline, I decide to believe it’s because Mikey and Takemichi are too used to calling him that way to realize it and he just picked it up.)

春千夜 (Haruchiyo), is the only name among the Akashi who don't have any kind of negativity in it. Senju has curses, Takeomi has retainer (which isn't a negative thing in itself, but we've already established that Takeomi wants to be so much more than to be at someone's else service), Haruchiyo means "Spring of a thousand nights". Just like Senju, he has 千, ‘a thousand’ in his name.

Remember the 武 from Takeomi and Takemichi ? Yeah ? Well I'm a bit of a liar. Rather than a liar, I didn't say everything. There's a third character with 武 in his name. But it isn't pronounced 'Take' for one, and for two, it's in his family name, not his first

武藤  泰宏

Muto Yasuhiro

(I can't imagine the pain he has to go through every time he writes his name down. 藤 is one hell of a kanji.)

Ah... Mucho. Sanzu's big brother figure. Better than the other. But who did the only thing Sanzu would kill anyone for: betray Mikey. But that's not the point here, we're here to talk about his name. Beside the obvious 武 meant to add to the fact he's Sanzu's big brother, like Takeomi but reversed, 藤 means wisteria. 泰宏(Yasuhiro) means "peaceful' and 'broad' which describes Mucho's personality accurately but, but, but. In 泰 there's 𡗗 just like in 春 ;) (it actually doesnt mean much because taiju also has it in one of his kanji but shh). Or, just like Sanzu shares a kanji with his sister, he shares half one with his not related by blood brother. And ⺢ is a variant of 水, water, just like Sanzu is a river.

朕 is also in there. It's the royal ‘I’, ‘we’ – completely opposite of the servant 臣, ‘I’. More globally, wisterias represent the imperial family in Japan; thanks to the Fujiwara who impacted Japan by a lot when they were the ones ruling the country. And I’ll stop there with Mucho because I may be going too deep here and at some point digging further is meaningless.

Shinichiro and Mikey’s names are… It made me chuckle, not gonna lie. Not because of what the kanji means, but because those are extremely common kanji found in names. 一郎 in 真一郎(Shinichiro) means ‘first’ and ‘boy/son’. 次郎 in 万次郎(Manjiro) means ‘next’ and ‘boy/son’. These (reading ‘Ichiro’ and ‘Jiro’ by themselves) were rather common names for children from not-upper class families. It’s much less common nowadays. Then there’s 真 who means ‘real, sincere, genuine, truth’ and 万  who means ‘ten thousand’. And I didn't quite understand why their parents would choose that kanji, but if you add 全 to it then it gives 万全 or, ‘perfection, flawlessness’, and suddenly it makes my heart melt and also more sense. (it also seems to come from his grandfather’s name Mansaku (万作))

Sano 佐野 too, is a rather common name. Or at least half a common name. since 佐 may make you think of 佐藤 (Sato) which is the most common Japanese family name. However, the 藤 comes from the Fujiwara clan, since the Sano don’t have this kanji (unlike Muto) we can say they don’t have samurai ancestors (or if they do, it got lost along the way). It seems like family name with two out of three of the following kanji : 田, 中 or 村 are reasonably common. And 野 (Sano) has both 田 and 村. (although unlike Tanaka(田中), Nakamura(中村) and others they are stuck inside one kanji).

Unlike Akashi which describes someone of the upper-class, the Sano are everyday average people (Sano means ‘to help’ and ‘field, plain’ but also a prefix meaning ‘wild, lacking a political post’). Except they aren’t. But Wakui must find himself funny for this.

EDIT: 'Sano' is a city in the Tochigi Prefecture in Kanto, which economy revolves around agriculture and light manifacturing. It was also once the name of a clan.

(By the way, the -no of Terano (寺野) is the same kanji. As in, Terano South. And there are some parallels between Mikey and him.. (ill mother, no father, a parent who's a foreigner – but Mikey was born and raised in Japan while South had Brazil), person who raised him showed him the world of delinquency (but they had clearly different view of it), go live with their grandparent(s), person who raised them died when they were 12 (Shin died before Mikey had turned 13) because of ‘dark impulses’ (South himself; Kazutora), they both have ‘dark impulses’ (although we might never know why/how/if they are really the same dark impulses for South), they are both known by a English name rather than their official Japanese one (but Mikey chose his while Dino named South)… We don’t have enough about South and I don't like it.)

(Even worse, because if you’re as delusional as I am, you would notice that if you take out two strokes of 南(South) you end up with the kanji 幸. And since Mikey loved his mother very much, and she loved him very much, and South loved his mother very much… Then his mother must have loved him very much as well (even if she was incapable of fully taking care of him). And 幸 means ‘happiness, luck, blessing fortune’. But then it’s a girl name. But perhaps that’s what his mother wanted her child to be named if it was a daughter ? It’s still hidden in the ‘’Minami’’(南) Anyway, as I said, I’m being delusional and 南 is not an unusual name in Japan. Leave me and my headcanons alone. There's also the possibility it was his father who was Japanese, of course. After all South’s name is Japanese, but then, we don't know a thing about his father so we can't say if him and South’s mom were married. But no matter which one was his Japanese parent, he either had no vocabulary in Japanese or only the basis and had had to learn everything when he was sent to live with his grandparents in Japan – who probably don't speak a word of Portuguese so it didn’t help South having very violent habits. They couldn't communicate.)

I didn’t find something that caught my attention with Baji’s kanji. Sad. But Edward means ‘guardian, protector’ so at least he chose a name that does describe him well. Micheal means ‘who is like god ?’ and of course reminds you of Michael the Archangel and knowing his mother called him ‘my angel’, well my heart is currently aching. I mean… Baji is made of a kanji meaning ‘place’ and another meaning ‘ground’ (the kanji for Keisuke means ‘jewels/corner’ and ‘meditation’ and i really have no idea for those) – Michael is one of the most famous angel name and Sanzu is linked to the afterlife so.. perhaps Baji is the ‘human’ of them three ?

(Baji Keisuke is written 圭介場地. Out of all these kanji there's only 圭 I perhaps found something interesting about. In Shogi, there's a piece called 成桂; 'promoted Katsura' and its abrevation is 圭. Btw, in Shogi, the 'king' is 玉将 or 王将 (if you're a lower rank player or a challenger VS if you're a higher rank player or a reigning champion) notice the dot ? It's 瓦 from 'Kawaragi' vs 万 from 'Manjiro' again)

Emma and Izana's can't be analyzed this much. I didn't find anything for Izana (If i go on Behind the name, in japanese the name Izana (rare and only used in pop culture) comes from the verb izanau ; to invite, to ask someone to do, to call for, to tempt, to lure, to entice ; but honestly, searching for the etymology of this name doesn’t give you a lot of answer (not enough sites say the same thing for me to believe it)) and Emma is "universal, whole" when it comes of German etymology and "all containing" when it comes of Hebrew etymology.

Also it’s interesting how Sanzu and Senju decided to change their family name and not their first like Mikey and Baji. Plus, Baji gets called by his family name every time so it didn’t serve much – like Senju who changed her family name but is never addressed by it in the story (even Brahman members yell ‘’Senju’’). But then Mikey changed his first name and gets called by it and Sanzu changed his family name and gets called by it. One option for each possibility, so it could be in/Wakui’s purpose! The one who didn’t use their other name as much as their real one are the ones to die, whereas the one who, to overstate the point, changed their identity by identifying with something that wasn’t initially them, actually got those selves erased. It’s more clear for Sanzu. Sanzu came up with ‘Sanzu’ and ‘Akashi Haruchiyo’ wasn’t anymore. Mikey came up with this name for another reason but it was still to get rid of ‘Manjiro’. And he didn’t get rid of ‘Manjiro’ until his brother, the only person left to call him that, died. Mikey’s flashback (chapter 264-265: “I.. really like ‘strong’ people [...] Until that day [Shinichiro’s death] [...] I was looking for ‘something’ other than strength [...] All the guys in Toman are good. They're so good but there's something I can't figure out. I wonder how long… there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart [...] ‘strong’ alone is not enough [...] After all, all I need is ‘darkness’.”) tells us he was already starting to follow his Dark Impulses ; after his brother’s death. He confesses it to Kisaki (“I wonder how long… there has been ‘something’ dark inside my heart. Sometimes that ‘something’ expands and drives me to destroy absolutely everything”). Manjiro Sano died with his brother. Other people may still call him that way, like his grandfather, but Mikey is Mikey. And this innocent name he once chose to make his sister feel less lonely became a metaphor for his incoming loss of sense of self.

We can also add that Shinichiro may have not changed the way he called Mikey because since his brother, 'Manjiro', was the only thing left from his life before it went downhill, calling him 'Mikey' instead of 'Manjiro' would have created even more of a distance between Shinichiro and his past 'normal' life from his childhood.

Baji and Mikey chose their name (Micheal & Edward) to try to make Emma open up. To get closer to her (especially Mikey). And Emma gets her birth name (Kurokawa) changed as Sano, which makes her even closer to her two brothers (and less from Izana). Sanzu and Senju chose their name to separate themself from Takeomi (and each other).

Of course, they aren't the only characters being best-known as a name they chose themselves of have been given by others. Draken for example, doesn't show any kind of resentment or even neutrality against his name; Ken is still present in Draken. We also know he chose it as a child (like the others), but (unlike the others) a reason is never given - he most likely thought it was cool; just like Mitsuya's dragon and his new tattoo were. Same with Benkei. It is written in katakana in the manga, but with kanji Benkei and Keizo have the same 'Kei'. Benkei is one of the most famous historical figure in Japan, by the way. (He is the servant of Minamoto no Yoshitsune, born Ushiwakamaru. Birth name which shares a lot of kanji with 'Imaushi Wakasa'. Both were great fighters). South, is another example of a name given to change one's identity – but South didn't name himself 'South'; Dino did, after making him kill someone, or giving him a bloody baptism if you prefer. And 'Minami' means 'South' but Minami never grew up enough for us or himself to know who he was.

(+ 

mikey baji sanzu and senju are four and so are bd 1st gen doesn’t feel like a coincidence. But i cant think of something that makes it very interesting. Wakasa and sanzu both know about the og timeline, baji and takeomi are used as parallels at least once, senju has some commons traits with Shinichiro, but mikey does too (and more), senju and benkei.. both like MMA ? And their favorite catchers are rivals ? Thats not much for me to talk about ngl)

[yesimwriting]

Gingerbread

 A/n small christmas drabble i talked about earlier,, just a cute little holiday snippet 

Summary: Billy and Stu don’t particularly care about Christmas, but they like being around you.  

----

His words are sinking in because it’s been long enough and you can’t just stare at Stu forever, but you can’t think of a way to react. After all, one of the most enthusiastic people you’ve ever met just casually admitted to not being super into the holidays. 

The holidays aren’t something people are or aren’t into. They’re a state of mind, a ritual, a time of year to put aside the pretext of angst in order to take joy in the simple things like decorating little cookie people and walking around to look at everyone’s lights.

“You’re ‘not into the holidays’?” Stu blinks, a pinch of humor playing into his expression at your disbelief. “What do you mean you’re ‘not into the holidays’?” 

“What I said, sweetheart,” he hums with a casualness that’s nearly suspicious because you’re still not convinced, “I’m not nine so I’m not super into it.” 

It. “What’s there not to be into?” You feel a bit like a kid with your insistence, but come on--it’s weird that Stu, who’s all energy and pro anything that gets him time off school is indifferent about the holiday season. 

Who’s indifferent about the holiday season? You get why some people might hate this time of year and you don’t expect everyone to be all deck the halls, tinsel coming out of every crevice of their being, or anything--but this much flatness? It’s weird. Especially from him. 

Stu’s eyebrows pull together. He’s clearly enjoying something about your shock. “It was fun when I was a kid, but you grow out of the holly jolly. The decorators come, Leslie pops in, and we get gifts. It’s nothing world changing.” 

The bit of insight only vaguely helps, shifting your total disbelief into something a little more downcast. His apathy seems to stem from his family dynamic at least a little. “Well, what about you?” 

Billy angles his head in your direction, leaning against the island of your family’s kitchen. His pause is cut short by Stu, “Oh, don’t even try with Billy. He’s the real Grinch here.” 

Your head snaps towards Billy. “You hate Christmas?” 

“Hate’s a strong word,” Billy answers, his flatness ruined by the slight amusement at your total shock. When you don’t ease, Billy shrugs, eyes dropping to focus on the granite countertop instead of your face, “Christmas was my mom’s thing.” 

You have to bite your tongue to keep from asking if you heard correctly. Billy mentioning his mom in any capacity is shocking enough, but hearing him talk about her so casually and with such blankness is something else entirely.

“My dad and I just aren’t that into it.” 

Nodding once, you’re not sure there’s a good way to continue. “So no baking cookies? Got it.”

Stu leans forward, nudging you with his elbow. “I didn’t say that, princess, I’ll play house with you.”

It takes a second of reflection, but you guess you can see how Stu found a way to weasel in that angle. You weren’t thinking of it when you brought up the cookie thing, but you should have expected it. Stu has a talent for reading between lines in a way that makes it easy to translate subtext into anything he wants it to be. You don’t think you get why he’d want to perceive it that way, but decide that a dip into psychoanalysis will derail the afternoon.

It’s not too weird, you guess, at least not too weird for Stu. His parents aren’t around much so all those little things need to be found in friendship. It’s the defense you use for a lot of Stu’s tiny comments and actions. It’s a fair excuse, and not the worst way his potential parental issues come out, and--

Okay. This is the exact psychological deep dive you didn’t want to take. If you think too hard on it, you feel bad about it. What kind of friend needs to over observe and read into everything like that? 

“Yeah?” You tap your nails along the granite, “Willing to wear an apron and everything?” 

Stu tilts his head, leaning forward and lifting his hand to your cheek. He pinches the skin of your cheek too quickly for you to protest. “You’re the one with the legs for it.” 

It’s dumb enough that you should be able to think of some kind of retort, but the way he says it, voice all low and eyes too focused, derails your train of thought entirely. “And you’re the one with the legs that can reach the top shelf where the flour is.” 

----

“I’m doing it right.” It’s little more than a huff and it’s quickly followed by a full, unashamed pout. “You just like being bossy.” 

Glaring at Stu as he squishes the dough between his fingers instead of fully flattening it, you cross your arms across your chest. It’s a bad idea, because flour is coating both of your hands and more powder smudges against your shirt. You’re surprised that you didn’t think to expect such a mess.  “Do not.”

“The power trip’s adorable.” 

“And how cute will you find it when I kick your ass?” 

He does the most offensive thing possible. He grins, full teeth and not even the tiniest bit menaced. “Yeah? You’re gonna kick my ass?” 

His reply is equal parts teasing and something you’ve never been able to name but have always known not to push too far. Winding Stu up is fun until it’s not and the line shifts with little warning. “Maybe,” it feels more like a retreat than you’d like. 

“I wouldn’t try her,” Billy’s voice comes out half disinterested as he continues to mostly do as told, evening out the dough Stu un-smoothed. “She can be mean.” 

You fight a smile, “Not mean--fair.” 

Billy pauses in a consideration so deliberate it almost feels like he’s making fun of you in a lighthearted way. “Tough.” 

Nodding once, you move to press your palm into the dough. “I have to be to keep two specific people I can never shake in line.” 

“Two people you can’t shake.” Billy’s thumb presses into the side of the dough stiffly, flattening the dough too thinly. “Sounds like you have some stalkers.” 

You move your hand to adjust the distribution of the dough, your fingers brushing against the side of Billy’s hand. “Nah,” you hum casually, “They’re nice in their own weird way.”

Billy turns his hand, skin settling against yours in a way that’d feel intentional if it wasn’t for the way he dutifully returned to evening the dough. “Weird?” It’s said softly enough, a touch of lightheartedness etched into the word. 

You’re about to make some joke about how weird is a total understatement when you’re yanked back with no warning. Your body has barely moved a full step, but the sudden, firm grip on your waist and left forearm forces you to bite your tongue to avoid yelping. Flour puffs into a cloud that gets all over you and up your nose.

“Stu!” 

He laughs, not letting go. “What happened to keeping us in check?” 

The jab makes you feel like you could kill him in order to prove a point. You squirm aimlessly, too offended to manage anything else. Stu’s relentless in his hold as you twist until you’re facing him. His expression leaves something in your stomach on edge. It’s not genuine panic or comfortability either. You can’t decide whether that makes you want to move or stay in place.

Stu angles his head downwards and you slowly raise a hand. He doesn’t question it until it’s too late and you’re opening your palm in order to let out a quick, sharp breath. Flour strikes Stu in a way that seems to genuinely catch him by surprise. It’s enough to make you laugh until his stillness sinks in. His hold on you feels firmer now and you’re not sure if the change is new or if you had been too distracted to notice before. Your lower back presses into the kitchen counter as you instinctually shift back. 

The bubbling of your internal awkwardness combines uneasily with the humor of earlier. It sits and builds with no where to go until you blurt out, “You in check yet?”

He cocks his head to the side. “Don’t get a big head, babydoll.” 

You’re not sure you get the framing of his words and their uncharacteristically stiff undertone. Before you can dwell, Billy sighs. “You two are little kids.” 

Any hint of edge that had just started building up vanishes as Stu turns his head. “Moody.” 

“Yeah,” you echo, feeling like your proving Billy’s point, “We should dump flour on Billy.” 

“An entire bag,” Stu angles his head to face you again, slowly releasing you, “We could wait for him to go to the bathroom and ambush him.” 

“You hide around the corner and I’ll hide behind the couch. No escape.”

Billy rolls his eyes. “You’re conspiring in front of me.” 

“Maybe I’m just trying to lure you into a false sense of security and I’m actually planning something a lot worse.” 

His eyebrows draw together, a desperate attempt at annoyance. “You wouldn’t make a good bad guy.” 

You let out a sound of mock offense. “You have no idea what I’m capable of plotting. I could be a total evil mastermind.” 

With a loud snort, Stu brings attention back to him. “You’re better off sticking to the cookies.” Before you can protest, Stu challenges your irritated expression with a question, “Okay--slasher movie, how do you take out your first victim?”

You’d point out that you weren’t trying to prove you’d be a fantastic killer in a scary movie, but they’d take that as giving up. Especially since you should have known that one of them would go there eventually. “Those things are unrealistic because half the time not getting caught isn’t a priority.” The answer feels a little bit like a cop out, and so you take a second to actually think it through, “But, I guess, off the top of my head I’d take out the first victim way before the others to make the crimes seem disconnected.” 

Billy asks, “Then what?” 

Ugh. You don’t love being put on the spot and this could easily turn into a sore subject with how seriously they take their scary movies. You’re not in the mood to be made into a joke as they pick apart your murder plan without taking into consideration that they gave you no notice. “I don’t know--take out the second victim alone to allow suspense to build and then attack the last of them all at once at some place I’m supposed to be at and then injure myself to make it easier to frame someone close enough to the victims to already have the police’s eye on them.” 

“Boring,” Stu exhales, dragging out the two syllables, “You left out the good, bloody details. Think you’d look cute all stabby--” 

“You want to see me stab happy? Because I guarantee you won’t like the outcome.” 

“Ouch,” Stu drops his head onto your shoulder, feigning a pain to rival an actual wound, “I’d let you live if I was a killer.” Not breaking at what’s clearly a compliment, you cup some more flour into your hand before blowing it into his face again. “You’re mean.” The whine is followed by him burring his head into his shoulder as he pretends to cry, affectively forcing the flour all over your shirt. 

Billy leans forward, grabbing a cloth rag from the other side of the counter before dropping it in front of you. “Clean up before you get it on me.” He catches the look behind your eye before you even realize what you’re doing. “Don’t.” 

His warning isn’t serious to constitute a threat or ruin the mood, but you’re not in the mood to make this painful. He’s already precarious enough when it comes to Christmas as is. “You’re no fun.”

----

Baking cookies has never taken you this long in your life. You’re sure that you were a better cookie assistant when you were a toddler than Billy and Stu were today, but you don’t mind. 

You had to take a quick shower while the cookies were in the oven because there was no other way to get all of that flour off. Stu did the same once you got out of the bathroom. Though, according to Stu and his never ending jokes and little comments, the truly practical thing would have been to shower together.

But now you’re dry and clean and Stu finally put on the shirt you stuck in the wash back on, you’re all left with a tiny army of gingerbread men. Yours are decorated a little cliche, gum drop buttons and crooked frosting smiles. Stu took creative liberties in the making of his thanks to help from the red food coloring he found in the back of the kitchen cabinet. Billy’s was surprisingly the neatest but was only decorated as an average guy in order to be a victim to Stu’s axe wielding gingerbread man. 

You rolled your eyes, but the amount of background and voices that went into the production of the mini massacre that only spared your cookies was funny.

"So, sugarplum.” The nickname forces your nose to wrinkle and you fight a laugh the same way a parent who doesn’t want to encourage bad behavior in a toddler would. That much affirmation could lead to sugarplum joining the already lengthy lineup of pet names Stu rotates through on a regular basis. “What’s your heart’s Christmas wish?” 

Okay--you’re not made of stone. A laugh that’s a little too loud slips out. “You don’t need to be that cheesy, all I did was get you to bake cookies.”

Stu forces out a mock gasp, eyes flitting towards Billy. “Can you believe her?” 

“I can’t believe you used ‘sugarplum’ and ‘Christmas wish’ in the same sentence.” Billy lifts his head up from the couch long enough for you to catch his slight smile. You laugh again, a little more comfortably. 

“Yeah, yeah, gang up on me,” Stu says this like he has never been this tired or this victimized in his life. He moves to sit on the couch, taking a second to comfortably adjust before patting his thigh. “If I get one of those hats will you sit on my lap and tell me what you want?” 

You roll your eyes, fighting against the burning sensation in your face. “Yeah,” flopping onto the couch at what you consider a safe distance, you continue, “And then if I’m lucky you’ll put me on the nice list.” 

“There’s an easy way to g--” He’s cut off by a pillow hitting the edge of his chin before smacking against his chest and landing on his lap. Stu gasps with an over the top level of offense. “What? I was going to say all you had to do was get me another cookie from the kitchen.” 

It’s blatant bullshit. “Mhm,” you cross your arms, settling on your spot, “I’m sure.” 

“Cross my heart.” He makes a point of tracing the ‘X’ motion over his chest. “I’m easily pleased.” 

Billy gently kicks his foot against Stu’s. “Since when?” 

“Since always.” Stu sits up, turning his full attention back to you. “But seriously, princess, what do you want for Christmas?” 

The question makes you feel awkward despite it’s casualness. “Um...” Every time people ask it, your mind instantly wipes and you can’t think of anything you’ve ever desired or needed. Besides, gift buying is inherently awkward when it’s talked about. “Nothing really, as of right now, I guess.” 

Stu practically whines like your response is a seriously, deeply personal issue. “Don’t pretend, it just makes Christmas shopping harder.” 

“You don’t have to get me anything.” 

“Like I’m not getting my best girl anything.” 

Sitting up a little further, you’re not sure what you to say to that. Sometimes Stu’s joking flirting is a little hard to laugh about when it’s that blatant. “You guys should help me put up some lights in my room. Last year I almost broke the curtain rod so now I’m banned from doing it alone.” 

You stand before any further comment can be made, fully aware of how transparent and flimsy the transition feels, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You’d much rather be playing with colored lights as Stu gets too comfortable climbing up stepping stools and furniture than having whatever that conversation would have been. 

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DARK FATE Yoyaku Tokuten Drama CD ”Urgent ★ The Vampires Ran Out of Money”

Original title: 切実に★お金がないヴァンパイアたち

Source: Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE Yoyaku Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Kaji Yuki, Hirakawa Daisuke, Takashi Kondou, Takahiro Sakurai, Kimura Ryouhei, Tatsuhisa Suzuki, Kishio Daisuke, Morikawa Toshiyuki & Morikubo Shoutaro

Translator’s note: This CD felt really nostalgic for some reason because it offers some quality REIJI SUFFERING HOURS. If there’s one thing which has stuck with me from the early era (HDB/MB) drama CDs, it’s that Reiji almost always got the short end of the stick, haha. While it’s no different here, I can’t help but feel like it’s kind of his own fault. For someone who prides himself over being oh-so smart, maybe it wasn’t clever to mention having savings around 11 Vampires who are clearly desperate for that sweet, sweet cash. 

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Shin: Haah…

*Flip*

Shin: Damn…This is looking pretty bad…Haah…Ugh. At this rate, we’ll…

Carla: Shin. …What have you been mumbling about this whole time?

Shin: Ahー Nii-san. You see, we’ve run into some trouble you see…

Carla: Trouble? Is your heart aching because I haven’t been attempting to murder you as of late? 

Shin: No. I’m definitely not complaining about that part…

Carla: Then what is it? Tell me. I might just offer you my advice. 

Shin: Eh? Eeeh…But I feel like you’re not the right person to ask in this case…

Carla: Who do you think I am? 

Shin: Who? I mean…The King of Founders…and my older brother.

Carla: Exactly. It is your duty to report everything to me, without hiding any details. Now, ell me. 

Shin: Hm…Actuallyーー We’ve run out.

Carla: Run out of what? Be more specific.

Shin: Money! We’re all out of money!

Carla: Money? 

Shin: Here, take a look at this bill. It displays all of our spendings for this month. They’re through the roof because you keep on buying things like whole legs of cured ham or weird abstract paintings behind my back!

Carla: No need to get so upset, Shin. I needed all of those things.

Shin: Necessary? I don’t believe that. I’ll give you a pass on the cured ham, but can you truly say the same about that painting which looks like a child went ham with their crayons doodled a bunch of pasta noodles on a blank canvas!? 

Carla: If I deem it necessary, then it is. 

Shin: Ugh…I figured you’d say that, hence why I didn’t want to bring it up. Anyway, we’ll need to come up with a way to make money. 

Carla: Can’t we have the masses donate to us? Have you tried asking Mertz to hand some over?

Shin: I’ve long tried that. I’m not sure if he knows I’m trying to ask for money, but he’s been completely ignoring my messages.

Carla: Then why don’t we make it easy on ourselves and just take it from random people around these parts? 

Shin: But if we choose the criminal path, we won’t be able to move freely around in the human world, will we? …Oh, right! I guess those guys would be an option!

Carla: The Sakamaki and Mukami family? If I recall correctly, Karlheinz has infiltrated this world and has been dabbling in politics alongside his connection with the Church. 

Shin: Yup, exactly. I heard he’s pretty stacked. …Heh. It shouldn’t be an issue then. It’s settled then. Let’s have those guys provide us with money. 

Shin gets up. 

Shin: Time is money! I’ll go give them a visit right away. 

Carla: I shall come with you as well.

Shin: Eh? No need to bother, really…

Carla: I cannot imagine they will simply hand over the money. If I am there as well, it should have at least somewhat of an impact. It is for the sake of my cured ham and paintings, therefore I have no other choice. 

Shin: Seems like you don’t want to give those up, no matter what, Nii-san…

*TIMESKIP*

*Flip flip* 

Reiji: Haahー … We’re cutting it close again this month as well. I suppose we spent a little too much. No, that’s not the problem. It’s all because of all the unnecessary repair costs we had to pay to have the manor fixed. Good grief…

Ayato: Reiji. 

Reiji: The answer is no. 

Ayato: But I haven’t even asked anything yet!? 

Reiji: I know exactly what you’ll ask of me. I bet you’re here to pester me for cash, correct? Either way, the answer stays no. …Well, I suppose it would be more accurate to say I cannot.

Ayato: Che…You stingy Four-Eyes!

Reiji: Oh my, are you sure you can afford to throw such insults at my head? May I remind you that I am the one who monitors the money of this family? 

Ayato: Che…What’s your problem!? I’m all out of money to buy takoyaki tomorrow. Can’t you lend me a lil’? 

Reiji: What part of ‘no’ do you not comprehend? Or rather, I cannot give you something which I do not have. 

Kanato: Reiji! Do you have a second? 

Reiji: Kanato, you too…Wha!? 

Laito: Nfu~ Actually, I’m here too!

Subaru: You can’t blame us, can you!? 

Shuu: If you’re handing out money, I’ll take some as well. 

Reiji: How do you guys think the economy works!? I gave all of you pocket money a mere three days ago, didn’t I!? 

Laito: The amount you gave us wasn’t nearly enough! I went on a couple of days with some girls and poof, it’s all gone!

Kanato: Exactly. I could barely buy any sweets with it.

Subaru: It was clearly too little. 

Shuu: Yes, exactly. You should just hand us the goods already. Hurry up. 

Reiji: No. ーー Or rather, we’re all out of money for this month. 

Ayato: Aah…!? Don’t be lyin’ to us! We know that you’re still hidin’ some!

Reiji: That would be my personal money. I’ve been setting some of my gainings aside each month and I shall not be sharing any of it with you guys, obviously. 

Subaru: Haah!? Fuck off! You’re tryin’ to live the good life all by yourself, aren’t you!? 

Reiji: You can try and threaten me all you want. If you want money that badly, why not ask Father for some instead of me? 

Shuu: Haah…The Old Man, huh?

Ayato: …!! 

Kanato: Laito. You go and ask Father for money. 

Laito: Haah!? Why me!? …As my older brother, it’s your duty to do that, isn’t it?

Kanato: …!! I-I don’t want to! As if I ever could!

Subaru: Just so you know, I’m not doin’ it either!

Reiji: Well, there you have it, so why not simply give up? If you upset Father, he might just send you to Mars for real this time. 

*Ding・dong* 

Reiji: Hm? A visitor? Was someone coming over today?

*TIMESKIP*

Shin: …And there you have it. Now give us the money. 

Reiji: You are catching me quite by surprise but…I do not see why we would need to lend you money? 

Subaru: Exactly. I mean, if we could go and hand it out for free, we wouldn’t be strugglin’ so much ourselves. 

Carla: What do you mean by that? 

Laito: Haah…In short, our family is just as short on cash as yours is. 

Ayato: Exactly! You can’t get noodles from a stone!

Kanato: Ayato, you idiot. It’s ‘soda’, not ‘noodles’. (1)

Carla: What a bunch of fools… 

Shin: Honestly, I don’t care but maybe you shouldn’t be telling lies? Who do you think you’re dealing with, huh? We’re respectable Founders, remember? Do you understand that? 

Reiji: They’re not lying. It’s the truth. Our current savings are non-existent. I almost want to show you our bank extracts, honestly. 

Carla: Sakamaki Tougo is portrayed as a wealthy individual, is he not? It does not take a genius to figure that one out. Don’t underestimate us. 

Shuu: You’re the one making a big mistake by assuming that we’re rich just because the Old Man is. 

Ayato: Yeah! That Shitty Old Man…He’s makin’ that sweet, sweet cash but he won’t even share a single penny with us! 

Kanato: Exactly…! I’ve heard that children from other wealthy families sometimes get up to one million yen for New Year’s. Yet we still have to do with only three thousand! Uuu…Uuuu~  (2)

Shin: …A-Are you…for real? 

Subaru: Dead serious. 

Carla: …!

Shin: Nii-san, what now? We’ve barked up the wrong tree. I feel like we shouldn’t expect too much from the Mukami family either at this rate…

Carla: We cannot know for sure until we ask. They were born and raised as humans, so perhaps they are skilled at saving money. 

Ruki: …What is this about us? 

The Mukami’s arrive to the scene. 

Kou: Hey there, my fellow Vampire comrades~

Subaru: The fuck’s you guys’ problem…? Whatcha all flockin’ together here for!? 

Yuma: Let’s say we’ve got a serious situation goin’ on.  

Azusa: We didn’t actually want to but…Ruki said that we have no other choice but to come and ask for it all together…

Laito: Heeh~? You’re here to ask something from us? How unusual. 

Ruki: Kou had the glorious idea to burn through our family’s entire budget.

Kou: I didn’t have any ill will! There just so happened to be a couple of things I really wanted…Whoopsie~

Yuma: ‘Whoopsie’, my ass! Ya better don’t believe that’ll get ya away with it!

Reiji: …! Don’t tell me…You guys are having money issues as well? 

Ruki: ‘As well’, you say? Don’t tell me…Are the two Tsukinami’s here to beg you for money as well? 

Carla: Do not put it in such a vulgar way. We are Founders. In other words, you Vampires are obligated to submit to us. We came here to have you bow down to us and offer everything you have. 

Azusa: So in other words…You’re trying to blackmail them? 

Shin: We’re not! We’ve already made our point!

Ruki: Who cares about that. Reiji. You get the gist of the situation now so…Would you be so kind to share some money with us? 

Reiji: Good grief…As I already explained to the two gentlemen over there earlier, I am afraid that we cannot offer something we do not have. 

Ruki: You don’t? Is that true? Don’t you guys get showered in money by Karlheinz-sama? 

Ayato: No way. 

Laito: I guess you could say it’s part of his educational approach, but he believes that children should learn how to be mindful with money. (3)

Shin: Nii-san, what are we gonna do now? Seems like the Mukami’s are all out of money too. 

Carla: …

Yuma: Ahー Guess we’ve got no other no other choice but to work, huh? 

Reiji: Exactly. If we get a daytime job, we should be able to save up enough money to get through our everyday lives. Speaking of which…Kou, you have a job, don’t you? 

Shuu: Now that you mention it. You’re an idol, aren’t you? 

Carla: An idol…Which means you’re actually fairly rich? 

Kou: J-Just so we’re all on the same page on this, but like what was mentioned, I blew through all my money so I no longer have anything!

Subaru: Smells fishy to me. I bet this guy is actually loaded on cash despite what he’s sayin’. 

Kou: S-Subaru-kun! Don’t put weird ideas into everyone’s head! Besides, if I did have secret savings, I would have long revealed them! It’s pure humiliation to have to bow our heads to you guys like this! 

Ayato: Which means we’ve really got no other choice but to work, huh? 

Kanato: I’m against the idea! Not in a million years will I work!

Shin: You say that but you’ve got no other choice, do you? We’ll wait, so you guys hurry up and go make us some money through working, okay?

Subaru: Ah? I think you’re gettin’ the wrong idea here. Even if we do earn some money through workin’, we’re not gonna lend it to you fuckers.

Carla: Like I previously stated, it is your duty to hand over your money to us.

Ayato: Idiot! Like we give a damn ‘bout that!

Carla gets upset.

Ayato: …Y-You don’t have to get that angry, do you?

Carla: You fiend…Try repeating yourself one more time. What was that you said just now?

Ayato: W-Well…

Shin: …!! A-Ayato! Take your statement back right now! Or do you want this manor to get blown to bits!? 

Reiji: Blown to bits!? Excuse me, Ayato! Do you have any idea how much it’ll cost to have the manor rebuilt from scratch!? Apologize at once!

Ayato: Ugh…My bad…

Carla: …Oh well, I suppose I can let it slide. In return, come and bring us the money at once. Do you understand? 

Shuu: Good grief…This is what we have to deal with, huh? So, what are we gonna do now? Just so you don’t, I don’t want to work. 

Subaru: I’m not workin’ either.

Laito: I mean, me neither but what are we gonna do about our money issues? 

Kanato: Can’t Reiji just hand over his savings? 

Reiji: I figured you’d say that. However, like I mentioned earlieーー

Ruki: If you have any savings left, give them to us. 

Yuma: Anyway, why would ya first claim to be all out when you’ve actually got some savings put aside? If ya the money to us, it’ll solve all problems. 

Kou: Ahー Geez, I actually was seriously worried for nothing.£

Azusa: Hey, Reiji-san…You’ll give us the money, right? 

Everyone stares at Reiji intensely

Reiji: …!? Excuse me…? Why are you staring at me like that!? …Let me inform you just in case, but trying to force me to pay will not work. I will not give in to your threats. 

Carla: Then we simply do not resort to coercion, correctly? All we need to do is make it so you will gladly hand us the money. 

Ruki: I see. I suppose we have that option. What a genius idea. 

Reiji: D-Do not be ridiculous! What on earth makes you believe I will want to do that?

Shin: I wonder? We won’t know until you try, right? 

Reiji: …W-What are you planning to do!? 

*Rustle* 

Shuu: …Reiji, let me give you a shoulder massage. 

Reiji: …!? 

Shuu: Don’t be modest now. 

Ayato: Reiji! I’ll feed you this takoyaki I’ve got over here! Come on, open wide! ‘Aaahn!’

Reiji: …N-No thank you!

Kou: Hmm~ In that case, I rarely ever give someone such a treat but I’ll perform the currently number-one popular idol song live for you! 

Reiji: No, no, no! Please don’t sing!

Yuma: Geez…Ya give me no other choice. Ya can have as many of the summer vegetables from my field as ya want. Totally free!

Reiji: That does sound tempting…No, no, if anything, you should sell those vegetables to make money yourself. 

Yuma: Nah, I’ll only get some small change for it.

Ruki: Then how does this sound? I shall cook for you using Yuma’s vegetables. 

Reiji: I prefer cooking myself rather than eating!

Laito: Then how about this? I’ll wash your back for you~!

Reiji: Please don’t even suggest something so creepy! …Ah, god!

*Thud* 

Reiji: You guys can say whatever you want, but I’m not giving you any of my savings! End of the story!

Kanato: E-Excuse me!? Where are you going!? 

Reiji: Away from you lot. 

Azusa: No…You can’t. 

Reiji: Mukami Azusa…Move aside at once. 

Azusa: No, I won’t move. Hey…Please listen to my request? If you do, you can hit me all you want. Okay? 

Reiji: Wha…!? Y-Your request…? I bet you also want to ask for money, correct? Besides, I fail to see what I would gain from this deal. Isn’t getting hit basically your hobby?

Azusa: It isn’t.

Reiji: …!? Then what is it!? 

Azusa: My life? 

Shin: That suddenly got deep. 

Reiji: Whatever. Just please step aside. Iーー

Carla puts his hand on Reiji’s shoulder. 

Carla: You are not getting away. 

Reiji: …!! What do you want, Carla? Get your hand off me. 

Carla: I am afraid you will have to sacrifice you for the sake of my cured ham and painting collection! …Shin!

Shin: Roger~! 

*Rustle* 

Shin: Now behave, okay? 

*Rustle* 

Reiji: …!? W-What are you going to do!? 

Carla: Of course, I would have loved to be able to refrain from resorting to such extreme measures. However, none of this would have happened if you would have simply given us the money right away. 

Reiji: Hah? 

Carla: Oi, you lot! Do not stand there spacing out but help out!

Shuu: Haah…What a drag. But I guess it can’t be helped. It’s for the greater good…I don’t want to have to give up on my CDs either. 

Ayato: Yeah. …Reiji. Don’t take it personally, ‘kay? 

*Thud* 

Kanato: It’s for my sweets, so I’m sure you can understand, right? 

*Thud* 

Laito: I’ve got a couple of dates planned out already as well, so you leave me no other choice~ 

*Thud* 

Subaru: Maybe you shouldn’t have been so stingy, huh? 

*Thud* 

Reiji: …!? Y-You guys…! Aren’t you embarrassed, letting those Founders order you around like that!? 

Ruki: We haven’t become their loyal servants, really. We simply…Right.

*Thud* 

Ruki: Share a mutual interest right now. 

Reiji: …!! Ruki, even you…

Kou: Don’t worry~! We won’t hurt you…!

*Thud* 

Yuma: Hehehe…Now we’re talkin’...

*Thud* 

Azusa: Reiji-san…Are you ready…?

*Thud* 

Reiji: …! Kuh…C-Cut it out!

Carla: It is not too late to change your mind just yet. Well then, will you give us the money? 

Reiji: …Y-You’re playing it dirty! I am not the type of guy who will give in to these kinds of threats! Please do not underestimate me!

Shin: I guess our negotiations end here then. 

Carla: You leave me no other choice…You lot! Do it!

Reiji: …! S-Stop…!

They all start tickling Reiji simultaneously. 

Reiji: Excuse me…W-What are you…? Ahahahaha…!

Shuu: It’s your own fault for not simply giving us the money right away.

They continue tickling him. 

Reiji: Wait…Stoーー...! It tickles…! Hahaha…Ahahaha…! …I can’t…! I swear…!

Subaru: Ah, damnit! Just throw in the towel already!

Reiji: My god…I really can’t…Ahahaha! …You lot! I can’t believe you’d resort to this…!

Kou: Ah~ Come on, just say you give up already~ 

Reiji: …Fine! I understand! Please, just stop already! I’m begging you!

Yuma: What do you mean? …Take this!

Reiji: I’ll share the money…That’s all you want from me, right!? 

Carla: Good grief…Was that truly worth all the trouble? You should have simply given it to us from the very start. 

Reiji: Haah, haah…I never thought it’d come to this…Good grief…You lot are unbelievable… 

Shin: Well then. You better hurry up and show us the money. You don’t want a repeat of that, do you? 

Reiji: Che…

Reiji goes to fetch the money. 

*Rustle rustle* 

*Cling* 

*Clunk* 

*Creaaaak* 

*Rustle* 

He returns. 

*THUD*

Reiji: …Now you have no more complaints, correct? 

Ayato: Woah! You’re stacked…! When did you save up all of this money? 

Reiji: …I’ve been carefully setting some money aside each time, while all of you were too busy spending it recklessly. Good grief. This is horrible. It’s always the honest people who get the short end of the stick. 

…Oh well, I suppose it’s fine. I suppose you are all in debt with me right now, so please, go ahead and use this money as you see fit. 

Shuu: Is that sarcasm I smell there? …Oh well, guess I’ll borrow some. 

Carla: …!

*Smack* 

Shuu: Ah…

Carla: Who gave you permission to take some of that money? 

Shuu: What do you mean? 

Shin: This amount of money will barely even cut it to buy Nii-san’s cured ham, so we’ll be taking all of it. 

Ruki: Excuse me? 

Carla: If you have a problem with that, I shall gladly be your opponent. 

Ayato: Haah!? 

Subaru: So you wanna throw fists, huh!? 

Ruki: Yuma. It’s time for plan B.

Yuma: Roger! …Oi, Azusa. 

Azusa: Mmh. I know. 

*Rustle* 

Azusa: Carla-san. Shin-san. We won’t let you do with that money as you please. Well then, Kou, Yuma, Ruki…Hurry up and take the money!

Azusa becomes a shield for them.

*Rustle* 

Shin: E-Excuse me…!? What are you doing? 

*Rustle* 

Ruki: My bad, but we’re taking this cash. 

Carla: Che. Seems like you four do not value your own life. 

*BZZZZT*

Azusa takes the hit. 

Azusa: …Ugh! Uu…Haah, haah…

Carla: Excuse me!? He withstood my attack…!? 

Ruki: My bad, Azusa! We’ll see each other at the meeting place later!

Kou: Don’t push yourself too much, okay, Azusa-kun!? 

Yuma: See ya!

The other three Mukami’s run away.

Azusa: Don’t…worry…I love…the pain after all…Haah…~  …Come on, Carla-san. More…! Fire more of those at me…!!

Carla: …!!

Kanato: …H-Hold up!! The money…!! They took all of it with them!

Reiji: …Come again!? When did they…!? I didn’t notice because I was too busy looking at Carla. 

Shuu: Haah…What a drag. Why did it turn out like this? Don’t you think it’s because you guys were trying to be too greedy? 

Carla: Hmph! That money was mine from the very start, so this isn’t an issue of being greedy or not. 

Ayato: It’s a lost case. There’s no talkin’ with this dude. 

Carla: Oi, Shin! Chase after them!

Shin: Yeah, yeah, I know. Or rather, if you would simply give up on your cured ham and those weird paintings, we wouldn’t even need money…

Azusa attempts to stop him. 

*Thud* 

Azusa: Wait, Shin-san! You have to defeat me first…!

Shin: Ah, god! You better stay away from me, you freaky masochist! 

Shin runs away. 

Laito: Hey, what are we gonna do now? 

Kanato: I’m exhausted…I’ll simply content myself with the sweets I still have in the cupboard. I can’t picture myself chasing after them. 

Laito: Right? When I think about it…It’s not like I’m that desperate to go on a date with girls other than Bitch-chan. 

Ayato: Me too. I can just have Chichinashi make me free takoyaki instead, right? 

Shuu: Haah…I guess it’s obvious the same goes for me. Pwaah…I’m sleepy. 

*Thud* 

Subaru: Damnit…! The fuck’s this shit…

Ayato: By the way, Subaru…Why did you even want money to begin with? 

Subaru: W-Well…You know…I figured I’d upgrade my coffin a lil’ here and there…

Reiji: Good grief…I suppose your situations weren’t nearly as pressing as the Mukami family’s. Haah…Oh well. You lot try to abstain from your luxuries for once, understood? …Oh. 

Carla: …

Reiji: You are still here? 

Carla: Hmph. You have some nerve to say that, you commoner. I shall stay here until Shin returns. 

*Rustle* 

Reiji: Good grief, you truly are unbelievable…Why not simply give up on your cured ham and painting collection? 

Carla: I shall give up on the latter. I could never buy them with that little money anyway. 

Reiji: Hmph. But it seems that the cured ham is something you cannot give up? 

Carla: It is my favorite food after all. 

Reiji: Ahー Well…If that’s the case, I suppose you really need the money just as badly as the Mukami family does. 

Carla: Hmph. 

Reiji: Ahーah…I suppose I will have to start saving up again. This time, I suppose I will not mention it to anyone and keep it my own little secret. 

ーー THE END ーー 

Translation notes

(1) This short back-and-forth between Ayato and Kanato is all based on a language pun around the Japanese proverb: ない袖は振れない’ which literally means ‘you can’t shake a sleeve you don’t have’ and refers to being unable to give what one does not have themselves. Ayato gets things mixed up and says そば (soba / soba noodles) instead of 袖 (sode / sleeve). Kanato then promptly ‘corrects’ him by stating that it’s ソーダ (soda) instead. Of course, both of them are equally incorrect. I struggled to translate this part quite a bit, but I eventually settled with the English provide ‘you can’t get blood from a stone’ since it was the easiest to replace one noun for another in that one. 

(2) ¥1,000,000 and ¥3,000 are approximately 10,000 and 30 USD respectively. 

(3) Laito refers to the concept of ‘Honorable poverty’ (清貧), coined by the Japanese philosophist Suzume, who believes in the dangers of excess consumption and waste.

[haleigh-sloth]

(1) I’ve largely erred on the side of not saying this because I don’t care to rain on anyone’s parade, but since you mentioned feeling like the friendship between Tomura and Spinner can get blown out of proportion, I can think of at least one concrete reason for why that disconnect might exist. I obviously don't blame people for taking the official translations at face value, but I feel like Spinner's line about "bonding" with Tomura over games is another example of sentiments getting

Ahhhhhh lot of good stuff here

Putting a cut for length but also people who just don't wanna see this type of response

I feel this way about a lot of peoples' interpretations of the League and their interactions. Not just Spinner and Shigaraki, but all of them. I feel like a lot of gestures get blown way out of proportion. Shigaraki's "I just want them to be able to live how they see fit" does not equal "Their happiness is my priority, and I'm going to work to create a world where they can be happy". I'm sorry but those two are not the same thing, and I haven't seen Shigaraki act in such a way either. Those two goals may point in the same direction (they don't because he's a fucking liar to his own face and so is Toga to her own face), but that kind sentiment did not suddenly mean that he is prioritizing their happiness and wellbeing above all else. If that was the case, well, they wouldn't have formed a giant ass army to take on the world at war and risk dying (which one of them did) and Spinner wouldn't be in the situation he is in now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .

I don't want to rain on people's parades either, but my opinions are pretty clear and have been for a while and people have had plenty of time to block/unfollow me as they see necessary. So at this point, I don't hold back (I try very hard to avoid being super negative though about any character in general). I used to hold back my not so popular (in the villain corner of the fandom) interpretations on the League up until recently. As we've gotten closer to the end, I've decided that I'm just gonna put my opinion out into the void even if many people--specifically in the little circle of blogs I occupy--don't like it. And many don't, and that's okay. My opinion doesn't change unless the manga gives me a reason to change it.

Spinner and Shigaraki--I have a lot of issues here, MAJORITY of it due to fandom hyping them up as more than they are. And look, I don't care when stuff is clearly fanon or headcanons. Posts that are meant to be taken that way are usually pretty clear about it. But these are whole analyses based off of this overblown bond/friendship that literally only Spinner seems to acknowledge/be so attached to.

I don't doubt Shigaraki views everyone in the League as a friend in some capacity. I don't doubt that at all. I don't doubt that he cares and genuinely wants them to live how they want. However, I would like for someone to show me where he pays the same type of special attention to Spinner that Spinner gives to him. Imo, Shigaraki treats them all pretty equally--Spinner included.

I didn't know that about the Japanese, and yet, I still felt this way. Assuming that someone who has a good understanding of Japanese can correct your statement, I'm gonna take your word for it since I can't say shit otherwise lol. But cool--yeah that particular line is used quite a bit. And I get it! It's fun especially if you ship the characters or just enjoy their interactions.

But I feel like people overlook the fact that Spinner's idolization and attachment is literally negative and is a challenge in his arc, not some cute uwu friendship that was just about video games (when would they have played video games in canon??? WHEN????).

Spinner decided to seriously devote himself to Shigaraki (which in itself is a weird not great thing to do) during MVA, because it looked as if Shigaraki had made progress and overcome a barrier and become this all powerful destructive god who can make dreams come true (dreams for someone who wants to lash out at least). But MVA was not any of that. MVA was Shigaraki doing exactly what AFO wanted him to do--get worse emotionally, spiral more mentally and become even more unstable, and hate himself to the point that he sees no point in thinking or hoping for change for the better. Perfect, all according to keikaku. And THAT is when Spinner was like "FUCK YEAH THIS GUY". I know Spin didn't know that, but come oN guys THE TIMING OF IT IS SO FORETELLING.

AND IT WAS. Because look now. What has turned me completely off to this dynamic is the fandom hyping it up as a pure devotion that isn't stemming from a lot of self-worth issues and negative idealization. Spinner associates Shigaraki with destruction, rage, anger, and misery. That's also what Shigaraki associates himself with, and that's exactly what AFO wants. And man, he sure got it out of both of them.

And I'd like it if people acknowledged that more for what it is, but it's just reduced down to "two gamers that AFO groomed and took advantage of". And I feel that is just super oversimplifying what actually happened. AFO didn't groom Spinner from the age of 5, he took advantage of a vulnerability he was able to pinpoint super quickly after Spinner made it painfully obvious.

I like Spinner more on his own, and I like the potential for him to face the reality that him ignoring his gut instincts in favor of that dream of destruction he associates with Shigaraki eventually led to him making things worse for Shigaraki--unintentionally. I mean he hasn't made shit hit the fan YET--but man if things aren't looking ominous as fuck right now. AFO is counting on Spinner? Oof. But the potential for drama here is exciting, and I'm ready for it.

But yeah. I agree--it's overblown imo. It has become a plot point in Shigaraki's arc in a negative way. So I feel people miss the mark when they focus on how devoted Spinner is to Shigaraki during all of this mess, because that's exactly why things look the way they do lol.

[glorious-spoon]

24 or 25 for Steddie 😊

Thank you! :D

I went with 25: dancing in the kitchen while cooking dinner. And it came out a bit more silly than romantic because, well, they're dorks. Future-fic AU; established relationship.

-

Steve folds his arms, looking amused. “Okay, but I still don’t see how that counts as dancing.”

“Heresy,” Eddie yelps, thrown off his rhythm enough that he probably looks more like a dog shaking off a bath than a self-respecting metalhead. He straightens up, shoves his hair back out of his face to get a good look at Steve, who is wearing a shit-eating grin that could not more clearly proclaim that he’s trying to get a reaction. Eddie stabs a finger at him. “You’re just lucky that I keep you around for your cooking skills—”

“Oh, are those the skills you keep me around for?” Steve asks, faux innocent. 

“Well,” Eddie allows graciously, “there are other benefits as well.”

“Right.”

“But that doesn’t mean you can disparage the culture of my people.”

Steve cracks up at that, losing the supercilious veneer all at once. He’s barefoot in sweatpants and one of Eddie’s Iron Maiden concert t-shirts, the bleach-stained one from the Beast on the Road tour that Wayne took him to in Toledo the year he turned sixteen. It’s the first of many t-shirts that Steve has stolen out of Eddie’s wardrobe. He pretty much only wears them around the apartment, and it makes something stupidly warm well up inside of Eddie even when, like this, Steve is giving him shit.

Maybe especially then.

“I mean it, Harrington.” He takes a step closer to poke Steve in the chest. Steve folds his hand around Eddie’s fingers and draws them up to his lips to kiss, still grinning.

“Sure you do,” he says.

“Okay, that’s it,” Eddie says, and leans across him to turn the stove burner off. The water in the pot burbles to a discontented simmer as he tugs Steve back into the slightly less cramped area of their very cramped kitchen, where the blue has almost worn off the linoleum tiles from the foot traffic through here. The place is a shithole, honestly, but it’s their shithole apartment, and that makes it something close to paradise as far as Eddie is concerned. 

“Come on, man,” Steve complains, although he’s still smiling. “Let me just…”

“Nope, no, you’ve thrown the gauntlet down—” he breaks off agreeably when Steve pulls him into a laughing kiss, then steps back before Steve can deepen it, grabbing Steve’s hands to settle them on his hips and ignoring his pout. On the boombox wedged above the sink, the tape flips over from Rattlehead to Chosen Ones and Eddie can’t help but headbang a little to the gleefully energetic intro. Steve just watches him, looking both amused and achingly fond.

“I have no idea what the fuck that’s supposed to mean,” he says.

“It means,” Eddie says, with a pointed little shimmy that makes Steve’s grip tighten a little, like it’s instinct. “You issued a challenge, and now you have to pony up. Show me your moves if you’re so slick, hotshot.”

Laughter burbles out of Steve; he leans in for another kiss, which Eddie allows, because of course he does. “This isn’t really the kind of music I usually dance to…”

“Throwing in the towel already? Disappointing.”

“Okay, I didn’t say I wouldn’t,” Steve retorts, pulling Eddie closer. There’s an easy looseness in his hips that Eddie likes; an ease to him just generally these days. They already know how to move together—from fighting monsters, and, later and much more enjoyably, from sex—and it turns out it translates to this as well as anything: the two of them in their kitchen together while Steve tries to adapt his house party dance moves to Megadeth and Eddie clings to him, laughing his ass off, and outside the kitchen window dusk fades gently away into night.

[twilightmalachite]

Christmas Live - Prologue

Author: Akira

Characters: Yuzuru, Anzu

Translator: Mika Enstars

JP Proofer: 310mc

EN Proofer: ryuseipuka

"Hm, “meow ♪”? Is that your impression of a cat?"

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Yumenosaki Corridors

Yuzuru: …Sigh. I’m sorry, could you please repeat yourself?

Oh, no, it’s not that I couldn’t hear you the first time. I don’t mean to guilt you, but could you please speak a little more clearly?

I’m here to prioritize assessing the situation correctly, rather than to criticize you. …What has happened, are you crying?

You’ll have to excuse me, I cannot take your feelings into consideration at this time.

I’m terribly sorry, but, please do tell me what led up to this. I’ll handle it from here on.

Hm. What an inconvenience; I thought you had assured me you would have that matter taken care of.

If that comes to a stop, then this entire thing will come to a standstill.

What trouble. Biting off more than you can chew only reveals your inadequacy.

You should prove your usefulness not with your words, but with your actions, and your results.

Yes. Do not worry, allow me to take care of it. You should give your face a quick rinse.

I’ll contact you again later, so… Alright, do excuse me.

… …

Yuzuru: …How vulgar.[1] Well, I can understand how he feels.

Oya, Anzu-san. It’s not in very good taste to eavesdrop, you know.

No, there isn’t any serious trouble. No need for the producer to go through the hassle of interfering.

You’re busy with your own business after all, are you not?

Fufu. It is indeed December, the end of the year.

Soon it will be Christmas… The academy has plans to hold the large-scale event we know as StarFes.

And as expected, the student council appears to be short on hands, and I have been requested to assist with preparations.

I do not wish to be so meddlesome…

However, the student council is one of the young master’s places to be. It is my duty as a butler to support him, as well.

Furthermore, the results I achieve will also affect the young master’s evaluation.

And so, I am doing the best to my ability. I am having quite the tough time, though….

It’s one issue after another, you see, and I’m extremely busy. I’d welcome even the help of a cat.[2]

Hm, “meow ♪”? Is that your impression of a cat?

You act quite unusually sometimes, don’t you, Anzu-san. Regardless, as I’ve said… I’m sure that you have your own work to complete.

So please, prioritize that.

I understand exactly how you feel. Labor is a blessing—No, it is life itself. It devastates me to have to take a break for the New Year holiday season.

Fufu. That being said, it is a season where you can easily fall sick… Please take care of yourself, Anzu-san.

I do not have the time for a long conversation now, so do excuse me.

Oh. I’m sorry, but please do not tug at the hem of my uniform. You resemble a lost child. What can I do for you?

Hm. So… It’s a rare occurrence, but you truly are free today, Anzu-san?

Nobody will give you any work, because they’re all concerned about you? Well, you have been working a lot, Anzu-san… It wouldn’t be good if you were to collapse from overexertion.

Make good use of everyone’s concern for you, and please rest. How about finding a hobby, or joining a club?

That is what I do on my days off, too.

I strengthen my mind with the archery club, and do careful and meticulous cleaning around the mansion I normally am not able to get to…

Do you have any hobbies, Anzu-san?

Hm. You still insist on some kind of work? “Please don’t reduce my hours, boss!”…? Fufu, that’s a very funny joke. ♪

As you wish. I just can’t say no when I’m pleaded to so lovingly like that.

Hm… May I ask you to do a bit of shopping for me, then?

An errand. Basically; there are some trivial things I need.

The quantity doesn’t justify ordering from a vendor and getting it delivered, but it is a hassle to do the shopping oneself.

It would be a massive help if you could do this errand for me, Anzu-san.

Just a moment, please. Allow me to make a list of the items we need purchased. Correction fluid, a Bible, chocolate bonbons… Hm, what is it?

You’d like me to draw you a picture? No need to be so mean; you know that I possess no artistic talent.

Umm, well then… A turkey, then, a Christmas tradition.

The turkey’s saying, “Thank you for doing the shopping, Anzu-chan! ♪” How’s this?

Fufu. I am glad that you like it.

Thank you very much. I had been overwhelmed with busyness up until some moments ago, but…

I feel somewhat more at peace now. Thanks to you, Anzu-san. ♪

Anyhow. For this upcoming year’s end…

Let us end it meaningfully, and without any regrets. Although I’m sure you know that well, Anzu-san…

Ah, right, yes… The items I need for this errand aren’t ones necessarily needed right away.

So please do take your time strolling around town as you shop.

It is a delight simply to wander around with all the beautiful lights put up everywhere. …It’s a tad early, but nevertheless, Merry Christmas. ♪

[ ☆ ]

story directory | next →

The word here used is zokubutsu (俗物), the same word Shu often uses to describe Mika (and sometimes other people as well).

A japanese idiom, neko no te mo karitai (猫の手も借りたい) used to describe extreme business. Translated literally here so Anzu’s cute way of offering to help makes sense!

[cilly-the-writer]

anyway, let's make wip playlist powerpoints a thing

Transcription and song links below cut:

Right Now by Confetti

"Airbrush, airbrush, my life be like airbrush / Even when the world is the worst / Too much, too much, people complain too much / Hate me but that's not my concern"

• some dance vibes for [REDACTED]

• they are having a blast

• magic is fun

Blood // Water by Grandson

"We'll never get free / Lamb to the slaughter / What you gon' do when there's blood in the water?"

"I am the people / I am the storm / I am the riot / I am the swarm / When the last tree's fallen the animal can't hide / Money won't solve it / What's your alibi?"

• clearly, some shit will be going down

Heathens by 21 Pilots

"You'll think, 'How'd I get here, sitting next to you?' / But after all I've said, please don't forget / All my friends are heathens, take it slow / Wait for them to ask you who you know"

"We don't deal with outsiders very well / They say newcomers have a certain smell / You have trust issues, not to mention / They say they can smell your intentions"

• we are not going to like the heathens

Vortex by Jaws

"But I'mma win this silly game / Until then, I will never leave"

“Back to me / I know you can track it back to me”

• the one who wants to “win this silly game” is [REDACTED]

• song also fits Clemens, Isaac, and Levina

disclaimer: this song is an intro song for the show Link Click and i’ve never actually watched it, but this song is fire

Dernière Danse by Indila

"I stir the sky, the day, the night / I dance with the wind, the rain"

"In this sweet torment / whose offenses I've paid in full / Listen to how great my heart is"

• the series vibes in general, actually

• because, you know, magic rain and lightning/electricity powers and also the recurring storms motif

• also really fits Clemens and Levina and [TWO OTHER REDACTED CHARACTERS]

disclaimer: I don’t know French, so the lyrics shown are actually translated ones I found

The Family Jewels by Marina and the Diamonds

"Ooh, don't you find it strange? / Only thing we share is one last name"

"Oh, you think I'm unfit / Little did you know that I was cut for it / No glass slipper will ever fit / 'Cause I could never see a diamond in it"

•fits [TWO REDACTED CHARACTERS]

•Obviously they had bad family figures

(WATCH THEM GLOW UP NOW, TRASH FAM)

Put Your Hands Up by Matchbox Twenty

"Your life is full, of hard days / You try to hold it down but it's more than you can take / Those flashing lights, they shine down / It's hard as hell to try to keep your head in this town"

•Primarily fits [REDACTED]

•the dance vibes combined with struggle vibes are accurate

•“those flashing lights” will refer to bright magic lights and magic lightning because i say so

[voiceoutofstars]

Revising the HSR Data Bank for Readability: An Idle Side-Project

This is a masterlist post for a little side-project I've been thinking about--fan-edited versions of Star Rail lore text that have been (amateurishly) revised for (slightly better?) readability. See the lengthy note below for a full explanation of my intentions and complete lack of qualifications for this pet project.

(Edit: the important disclaimers below were originally included in my first post on this topic, which shared my revision of the "Band of Sizzling Thunder" relic sets. Because I enjoyed the exercise, I wanted to do at least a few more of these, but since they all really should have massive disclaimers attached to them I thought I'd just stick them together in a masterlist and link to/from here where needed. Sorry if you're seeing this pop up repetitively. I'm bad at Tumblr.)

Band of Sizzling Thunder

Champion of Streetwise Boxing

Eagle of the Twilight Line

Firesmith of Lava-Forging

Genius of Brilliant Stars

Guard of Wuthering Snow

Hunter of the Glacial Forest

Iron Cavalry Against the Scourge

Knight of Purity Palace

This is something quite different for this blog, and I feel like it needs some explanation, as well as a few important disclaimers.

Honkai Star Rail is, in my opinion, an extraordinarily well-written game. It is also comparatively–again, in my opinion–an impressively well-translated game. ‘Comparatively’ is the operative word here; so many game companies don’t take nearly the time and the care to secure immersive experiences for audiences playing in languages outside the company’s own primary one.

Despite miHoYo’s comparatively immersive translations, there’s still a lot of room for improvement–especially in the massive amount of text-only lore buried in the various codices Honkai Star Rail has. Some of this stuff–Data Bank entries, readable collectables, etc.–can be really hard to follow and enjoy in English. Vocabulary is often imprecise. Simple topics that (in my opinion, at least) are intended to be clearly understood are obfuscated by weird stilted grammar and phrasing. These issues really stand out to me while I’m dabbling with my Data Bank narrations. Sometimes it takes me quite a while to piece together what the heck a sentence is trying to say, much less what it means for the grander universe of Star Rail, and that's a pity.

So, what I’m doing in these posts is attempting to revise these entries--to reorganize them into smoother, clearer versions of themselves by fixing issues of vocabulary and mechanics. I am not re-translating. I cannot read any language but English, to my shame; I am only playing with a lovingly crafted fragment of a beautifully built world and trying to rub it a bit cleaner and brighter with my own meager, monolinguistic perspective.

My toyed-with versions don’t--cannot--solve the problems these entries have with imprecision and unclear intended meaning, because I'm not an authority on the original Chinese text and its intentions, or on Star Rail or Honkai series lore. What may seem to be clarifications in my revisions are truthfully just bluster–I’m arranging the words into shapes that make the most sense to me, but the conclusions I draw are my own, are not canon, and honestly are not always conscious on my part. It would not be wise to assume anything below is accurate to the cosmos of Star Rail. I will take care to link the authentic in-game text in any posts of this nature that I make.

And finally, boy oh boy am I not a professional anything about this. This is a thing for fun and for joy, because I just really like Star Rail–and if you’ve got tips, tricks, thoughts or feelings, advice or ideas or revisions of your own, I’d be delighted to learn from you.

[lycanbucky]

yeah dude the way caesar reacted to your ask seemed excessively defensive. i think that on some level there should be an expectation/responsibility for compassion when we are posting about violence like animal cruelty online (even as a meme), at least on blogs where it is not something you would reasonably expect to see. and i guess it is his choice not to, but it is definitely not ridiculous of you to ask. he said its your job to create your own experience, but if everybody randomly posted animal violence and then got angry would somebody asked for it to be tagged, then that would be impossible. his own logic relies on the (correct) premise that other people are less of an asshole than him.

Exactly! I absolutely agree that we need to create an online environment that’s safe for ourselves and our personal needs, and to expect some amount of deviation outside of our comfort zone.

But using tags is rendered completely useless if even one person refuses to use those tags, especially for commonly upsetting or triggering content. And like you said, in cases where it’s not something we’re expecting to see. So if I’m the one responsible for curating my online experience, but I’m not being given the context to do so, somehow I’m the one at fault for asking for the proper filters. Ok. 😂 I understand that we have no way of predicting what will upset those around us, but a certain amount of empathy and understanding is needed if we’re going to get anywhere in life. It costs nothing to be kind, and to instead react with purposeful and inflammatory misinterpretations (to the point of negatively impacting their own well-being, it looks like), says a lot more about them than it does about me. Plus, they literally told me to block them, since they would be refusing to use tags. So I did. And apparently that was an issue, too, lol.

It’s just wild to see how far they’re going to misinterpret what I wrote, and to project their clearly significant issues onto my words. I made a request, and was denied, so I followed their suggestion and blocked them while acknowledging that I wouldn’t be getting that kindness from them. And somehow that translates to (and I quote, because I just checked and they’re STILL going on about this, lmao), “framing them as a huge piece of shit,” “lashing out,” and “harassing them to all hell.”

Like, my post is right there. All I said was, “I clearly won’t get any compassion here, so I’m peacing out, and I hope nobody treats you in this way when you’re upset and need kindness.” And they’re making post after post about it, talking about how I’m accusing them of being a horrible person, how I’m in an echo chamber of entitlement, etc.

I don’t know who they are or what they’re going through, but they’re clearly in a rough place if they feel the need to latch on this strongly to a simple request and unfollow. They made the choice not to use the tag, so I acknowledged that and blocked them, yet they’re the one creating a whole ruckus about it. They didn’t have to post it publicly, but I guess they needed the validation. Who knows.

Thank you for your support in this, though! It’s been a while since I’ve been caught up in any internet drama, so I guess it means I’m managing to surround myself with kind-hearted people outside of this. 😊

[rosy-fox-art]

i def agree with what you said about how the fandom handles heart's blindness so thank you for calling it out before it got worse. i feel that it would make more sense if he put the blindfold on himself, like how other ppl in the tags on your post said.

another thing that ive noticed is how heart is sometimes infantilized and seen as someone who can "do no harm" which is... strange to say the least. i think ppl forget that he is a personification of a grown man's emotions and depression (sorry for wording it like that lol i didn't know how else to say it)

Hi! Thank you . I was honestly really worried to post about it, so I’m glad to see people so receptive to it so far in a positive light. I’ve been reading the tags very diligently ^^~

As for victimizing heart or ‘ saying he can do no wrong’ and infantilization… yeah I can see this as another issue that’s starting to sprout up, and some people in the tags of that previous post have mentioned it as well. And while I know that’s not everybody and I figure that is also another case where people don’t really intend to do it and just aren’t thinking about it, that doesn’t really erase the problem. This applies mostly to people depicting heart as childish, not being able to handle himself, being idiotic, victimizing and woobifying him etc. So, I really hope you don’t mind me using this as a chance to talk about that a bit, too.

Being over emotional does not, at all, translate to any of the traits I just listed out in the slightest. Sure, heart may be a little naive and impulsive as per his nature, but that is not the same. You are absolutely right to point out that heart an adult here, too. And at the end of the day the album seems to make it very clear that Heart and Mind are not all that unlike each other, but are unwilling to admit their similarities and highlight and judge their differences heavily. Heart is just as harmful and violent as mind, just in a different way. He has the propensity to be just as cunning or manipulative as Mind, too. Even his tactic of victimizing himself is a show of this, and Mind points this out several times in the album. They are two sides of the same coin. There is a large difference between Heart victimizing himself and actually being the victim, which he is not. Or at least, he is not completely blameless for the hole that he has dug for himself. When people show heart as being the victim or as doing no wrong, a lot of the nuance is completely lost.

Secondly, the internet and fan spaces have a bad habit of infantilizing people with mental illness, in general. Depression does not make someone soft and cute because they’re sad all the time. Depression does not make someone an uwu bean. Depression makes someone — as we can very clearly see by how Heart is within the cannon itself— a wreckage of rage and disdain that struggles to crawl out of a spiral of misery and apathy. It’s not pretty. When you boil it down to all of the things I’ve mentioned as being a problem here— that’s infantilization. This is also a big problem when it comes to disabled characters (Because people jump to the conclusion that the character cannot do much for themselves because of the disability, do not understand how disabled people actually advocate for themselves and function day to day from lack of experience or exposure to disabled people, want to depict them as incapable, etc). So, the fact that Heart is both of these things creates a ripe mess. This is kind of why I’m hoping to make some less angry, more informational post about some of the things blind people use to function just like other people here, sometime. Because the lack of these things in itself may lend into the infantilization problem. Being able to do things— having agency and independence over oneself— is a large part of breaking away from that. And I think it says a Lot that you rarely see this happen with Mind or Soul, as well.

So sorry if this came off at all angry, but I’m very passionate about it as someone whose experienced infantilization in my life from other people assuming things about me solely based on my disability. So, if I can say something to stop people from perpetuating it in fan content then I will. 👉🏻👈🏻. At any rate, thank you for the ask! I’m sure there’s a typo or two in here. So so sorry for that!

[cozy-possum]

Listen the concept of space travel forcing you to see what you’ve repressed or your own death is just too good

@aquitainequeen Thank you for making me think too much about this, ft my own space/future themed oc’s

Support Me?

“It takes the worst of you. It takes what you’d beg to forget.” He doesn’t look past the group of his crew huddled around the new technology the commander had dropped onto the ship.

“BioRobotics said you needed one of these for traveling.” He gestures to the small figure that everyone is crowded around.

“Ree M. Oate.” The figure, clearly a robot buzzes out. He can see the way the antennae pass a spark between them, purely an aesthetic choice.

“A language translator?” One of the crew laughs a little.

“Repurposed, one of the old models, therapy-bot now, well the closest you’ll be getting for your first few trips; the more you travel the better Bio-technology they give you.”

“That’s grim.”

“You learn to live with it; or you deserve it.” The man doesn’t smile, just patting the robot on its head. It beeps at him and he nods.

Nobody thinks twice of jumping anymore. Everyone does it; it’s too fast, too streamlined not to do it. The new robot is the only addition, the only strange thing in the usual travels.

“Okay Ree; why are you here? We’ve jumped before.”

“Longer jump means more issues.”

“Like motion sickness?” One laughs, they all remember when Rian had thrown up and spent two days huddled in bed after their first jump.

“Or panic?” Siv asks, nodding to Vivnia; she’d been screaming and crying after her first jump.

“Both can be symptoms; I’m for reassurance after.” Ree chirps and everyone nods, slowly preparing the ship to take off, slowly forgetting Ree is there. They don’t jump right away, it was common courtesy to wait until you were far enough out to now have wake when you jumped.

There’s a soft pulsing sound; a heartbeat. Everyone’s looking around, it's dark, a dull shimmer moving around the windows of the ship, it ripples like oil and before anyone can speak they just hear screaming.

Everyone knows how Vivnia sounds when she screams; but the sound from her mouth isn’t that, it’s almost a coughing, as if she can’t breathe. Her chest is moving, she’s not choking but the way her eyes are unfocused, the way her hands dig into her legs as she pulls them close to herself, everyone knows what she is seeing. When they look up to the windows, there is Vinia, bleeding, her throat torn open and her eyes gone. Nothing but a soft smile on her face, the only one she graces that smile to is Rian.

Ree is standing next to her when the jump ends.

“I see why we get better technology when we jump more.” Rian lets Ree comfort Vivnia. She does the same for him when they make the return jump.

Rian expects to see his death, he expects the crew to see it. Instead the dread that crawls up his stomach is the same that made him vomit on the first jump he did.

His father, fingers around his arm, draggin him through a dark hallway.

“If they ask you’re Rian. You’re not Riven. You’re Rian. Understand? The least you can do for this family is be something worthwhile.”

His father’s hand crushes his shoulder and he knows not to cry out. The medic that watches him scowls but doesn’t say anything, no one ever does.

“Name?” The commander standing in front of him asks, they’re both too young to talk about this.

Ree follows everyone, she keeps tabs, lets others know when they need physical comfort, flesh on flesh, when the others need space, when they need to be locked in somewhere small, when they need food, when they need things taken away. Ree knows all their needs and follows her job perfectly. Everyone is soaking in the horror of their deaths, of these memories that they would never speak of. It becomes normal, until they realize the commander will be the subject of the next jump.

The oil that shimmers is back, it always is before a bad jump, before everyone sees what the crew have tried so hard to repress. The commander, like everytime they jump, is standing facing the window, scowling slightly.

A letter torn in half is on the floor. There are water stains on it. There is a shaky hand reaching for it, everyone recognises the scar over the thumb. Everyone recognises the old royal seal.

Nobody knows how to decipher the child's writing.

Support Me?

[jewwyfeesh]

Recollections And Heartfelt Wishes 4

Writer: Mitsuki

Character(s): Oogami Koga, Kiryu Kuro, Nito Nazuna, Otogari Adonis, Mashiro Tomoya

Translated by: stcrfeesh

CN/EN Proof by: jewwyfeesh

Nazuna: You don’t wanna scare the kids away, right? Why don’t you try dressing up as a mascot?

Season: Summer Location: Amusement Park Stage

Koga: Whew… Playin’ the entire mornin’s pretty tiring too, huh. I mean, I’m not hungry, since I bought snacks while I was at it. I just need to look for a place to rest, that’s all.

Adonis: Hm. This place sells quality meat, I could already smell the fragrance from a mile away. I couldn’t help but want to try them all…

All the rides here are pretty interesting too. Whether it’s an adult or a child, anyone would enjoy it.

Oogami, thanks for inviting me here today.

Koga: Man, what are you even thankin’ me for~ ‘Sides, Kiryu-senpai gave me these tickets, and I don’t wanna be ungrateful, so let’s have some fun today, a’ight?

Lemme take a look at the map… right now, we’re probably near the stage area. There clearly ain’t any performances goin’ on up there, but a bunch of people are all gathered ‘round.

Adonis: Really…? But there’s nothing on the brochure about any performances being held at this time either. Could there be a different event?

Nazuna: …… ♪

Adonis: Huh? That guy below the stage distributing flyers to people, isn’t that Nito-senpai?

There’s a group of kids playing with the mascot next to him too. They seem like they’re having fun.

Koga: Well, no shit… We should probably go there and greet senpai, but it looks like that guy’s busy. He might not have the time to entertain us.…?

Why’s that mascot walking towards us? Could it be that someone else from Ra*bits is wearin’ that mascot?

Adonis: Based on the height of that thing, I wouldn’t say it could be…

Kuro: Phew… I could finally take a breather… this thing’s pretty hot to be in if you wear it for too long.

Oh, Oogami, Otogari, are the both of you havin’ fun?

Adonis: Kiryu-senpai…?

Koga: Huh… I already guessed that you’d probably show up today, but I didn’t think you’d show up like this, in a mascot… I think it’s a fresh look on you.

Kuro: Haha, ya think so? To be honest, I never thought that I’d be dressin’ up as a mascot at an amusement park either.

[An hour ago.]

Nazuna: Kuro-chin! Thanks for watching us perform today! I immediately spotted you from the crowd earlier, you know~

Kuro: Haha, you guys did great today, Nito. Who knew it would suit Ra*bits to perform at an amusement park? The atmosphere instantly became lively, even.

Nazuna: Well, we did practise for hours so we could do well on this gig. Just being able to see everyone with the biggest smiles on their faces, is already the best reward we could receive ♪

Tomoya: Nii~chan! Uhm, uh… could I talk to you about something for a sec?

So, you see, when I went to meet with the amusement park’s staff earlier, they asked us for an extension with promoting the special event they’ll be hosting this Summer since our performance earlier garnered a good response from the audience, and all.

The thing is, Hajime and Mitsuru won’t be able to stay any longer since they still have work scheduled for later. I was sceptical about accepting the job, cause what if it would be too much for just you and me to handle…

Nazuna: Hm… This side of the park is much more crowded compared to anywhere else, so it might not be doable if it’s just us both…

Though, this could also be a great opportunity to promote Ra*bits… We also attracted a bunch of people that could be potential fans during our performance earlier. If this is the case, then it would be better to go with the flow of things.

It might be difficult, yeah, but if we give it our all—

Kuro: Ah, I more or less understand your predicament. Your issue here is that you lack manpower. Let me help you out, then.

Nazuna: Huh? No way! How could I possibly make you do that? I invited you here to have fun, not get you to work with me!

Kuro: You don’t have to worry about that. I could visit the amusement park anytime if I wanted to. What isn’t acceptable is turnin’ a blind eye to a friend who’s clearly in need.

Nazuna: Well, if you say so… thanks, Kuro-chin! Uhuu, I really don’t know how else to properly thank you…!

Kuro: Haha, ‘sno problem. Anyways, why don’t ya tell me what needs to be done?

Tomoya: I already talked things through with the staff, would you mind if we did things like this?

Kiryu-senpai, you and I would be stationed at the opposite ends of the plaza distributing balloons, and then Nii~chan who’s got more experience with this will handle the distribution of flyers and answer any follow-up questions the people might have about the event.

Kuro: A’ight, roger that. Don’t worry, I’ve got this.

Nazuna: Everything’s settled, then! Let’s do our best, everyone ♪

Kuro: (Usin’ balloons for promotion… that does make sense. After all, kids would probably prefer cute things like these over a flyer.)

(If that’s the case, then it shouldn’t be a problem to strike up a conversation first, would it?)

Hey there, bud. This blue balloon’s for ya, I hope you have lots of fun today.

…Oi, don’t run backwards! You might… fall…

……

Nazuna: Kuro-chin, you don’t seem to be into this… Don’t force yourself, okay?

Kuro: …Sorry, Nito. I don’t think ‘m suitable for this type of job after all…

I really tried my best to put on the kindest smile I could muster, but in the end, no one wanted a balloon from me… Hell, I even scared a kid to tears.

His parents assured me and said t’was all good, but I still couldn’t help but feel awful.

Nazuna: No, no, you don’t have to feel bad, you did nothing wrong. It’s actually my fault for not thinking things through…

(No, I won’t have it! I can’t let Kuro-chin leave here with a bad memory! He’s the kindest, most gentle guy I know… how can I make everyone else see that…?)

…I’ve got it! We could try that!

You don’t wanna scare the kids away, right? Why don’t you try dressing up as a mascot?

Kuro: So that’s how I ended up lookin’ like this.

A’ight, I should probably go back to help ‘em out. It’s still quite early, you guys should go around and enjoy the park.

Adonis: Are you really going to be alright, Kiryu-senpai? You’ve barely even rested.

Kuro: Haha, don’t underestimate my strength, buddy. This thing’s got nothin’ on the intense trainin’ I always do.

Though, I dunno what’s goin’ on Mashiro’s end, he seems to have more balloons left to give away. I’ll try to check up on him and help him out in a bit.

Koga: Oi! If it’s manpower you need, then you already should’ve just said so! I literally have nothin’ else to do!

Promotin’ shit’s a piece of cake to me! Either way, me just acceptin’ those tickets from ya, ain’t sittin’ right with me.

Adonis: Oogami’s right. Many hands do make light work, after all. Besides, I want to help senpai out too, so please leave this to me.

Kuro: Haha, you guys are pretty insistent, huh. Well, if you guys really insist, follow me.

← Chapter 3 | ES x LC Masterlist | Chapter 5 →

[blackholelynn]

His Salvation - Part Five

<- Read Part Four

Summary: You have left your old life behind and started over with Dean, but you soon realize that you know almost nothing about the hunter you now live with.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Nightmares, aftermath of grief/loss, description of suffocation, swearing - these warnings are for the series of parts as a whole, so while some of these warnings may not apply on this part, they will apply for future parts.

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: Hello!! It's been a while! I'm just going to plop this here and slink away because I have no excuses. This is literally done and has been for months, SO SORRY!!! Life just be like that sometimes, so I will see you all on the next update (whenever my dysfunctional brain allows me).

Series Tag List: @leigh70

Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles Tag List: @siospins2

Supernatural Tag List: @hobby27

Also cross-posted on my AO3 account, you can read it here!

~~~

 "Damn it!" Dean cursed, swiping at the spell set up on the war room table. The components went clattering across the floor, scattering across the concrete. The older Winchester stepped away from the table and continued to seeth towards the wall, but the damage was already done.

Sam stooped his tall frame over to gather the debris, not surprised by the outcome. "We've tried every location spell we can think of, and she hasn't come up yet. Dean--"

"She's not dead." Dean's voice cracked as he tacked on, "She can't be."

"That wasn't what I was suggesting. Some of these spells locate a person even if they are dead, so that's not the issue here."

"Then what do you think it is?"

Sam sighed as he emptied his hands of the failed spell and sat down in one of the chairs while crossing his arms. "The only thing I can think of that would hide her this well is an angel brand."

"You're thinking Cas?" Dean's disbelief was unmistakable. Considering the last time he had seen you two together, you clearly had not gotten along, so it was a stretch to think that the two of you would be helping each other. “There’s no way. Those two were practically at each other’s throats when they met.”

“I’m not saying anything for sure, but if it’s not Cas, then another angel is helping her.”

The thought of another angel being around you shot Dean into action, and without another thought, he pulled out his phone and started dialing. Ignoring Sam’s querent expression, Dean listened to the dial tone with his breath caught in his throat. This was his last resort, the very last thing he could think of.

The voice on the other end of the phone had its usual exhausted quality. “What do you want?”

“Kevin, we need your help with something. I need you to figure out if there are any ways to get past angel branding.”

“Dean, I’m not your little bitch. I’m still in the middle of translating the Demon Tablet for the last trial, so–”

“I don’t care what the hell you’re doing. Whatever you’re doing, drop it. This is more important,” Dean snapped, immediately regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.

Before he could even voice an apology, Kevin retaliated, “Oh, more important than shutting the gates of hell forever? More important than me getting my life back? Please, enlighten me on what’s so important.”

His similar wording only brought the memory of your argument back again, worsening the guilt he was already feeling. “We need to find someone.”

“You better be looking for God if it’s that important.” After a silence, Kevin asked, “Is that who you’re looking for?”

Dean groaned and ran a hand down his face before slamming that hand on the table in a fist. “I don’t have time to debate this with you! I just need to know if there’s anything in the Demon Tablet that can get past the angel branding for a location spell!”

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up, wrenching the phone from his brother’s hand. Sam took the conversation to another room, and all Dean could hear was the hushed, apologetic tone his brother held as he continued talking to Kevin. This left Dean alone in the room to pace and feel like he was crawling out of his skin.

He never thought he would be comfortable bringing someone into his life, especially after what happened to Lisa and Ben, but you had broken down every wall he had thought he built up so well. Now that you were so close, it was hard for him to cope with you being apart.

Abruptly, Sam entered the room again and loudly set the phone on the table, giving Dean a chastising glare. “I smoothed things over.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Dean asked defensively.

“You were being a dick,” Sam responded simply. Before Dean could even formulate his retort, Sam laid down a notepad on the table with a loud slap. It has a list of ingredients scribbled hastily down the piece of paper. "But Kevin came through for us. You sure you want to do this?"

Dean snatched up the notebook, eagerly reading the list of ingredients despite his unfamiliarity with spells. "Of course. Do we have all this stuff?"

Sam nodded. "I just checked, and yep. Pantry's fully stocked."

"Then let's get this show on the road!"

Dean was out of his seat before the other Winchester could even process what was said, but Sam quickly trailed after him to the library. The two were silent with concentration as they gathered the spell's components. It required some particularly rare ingredients, but thankfully the Men of Letters were a group that was seldom caught unprepared; their stock of materials was extensive.

Dean stood pensively at the side of the room as he watched Sam stir together the ingredients above the map they had spread on the table. The mixture in the container was brown and had the consistency of sludge. After what seemed like forever, Sam stopped stirring the components and swiftly turned the container upside down above the paper map.

When the concoction plopped unceremoniously onto the paper with no reaction, Dean surged forward. "Is that it?"

"I…I don't know?" When Sam caught Dean's disapproving glare, he continued defensively. "Kevin just gave me the instructions! He didn't tell me how it would work!"

"Are you kidding me, Sammy? You didn't think to ask how we would know if it worked? So now we don't know if the spell was a bust because she's warded too much or because you mixed up a tablespoon with a teaspoon!"

"I didn't mess up the spell!"

"Considering it looks like a sewer vomited on our map, I'd say you messed up the spell."

"No, I followed Kevin's instructions to a T."

"We'll, thank God we called Kevin!" Dean sarcastically huffed, throwing his hands up and turning away. "How could we go without making whatever the hell that is?!"

"Dean?"

The older Winchester was nowhere near done with his tirade. "You know, we make sure that kid is safe and that Crowley's goons don't get to him, and what's our reward?"

"Dean."

"Oh, right. A pile of brown ooze when we asked for a location spell. Because why would we ever need an actual spell? Might as well just give us the recipe for fake dog shi–"

"Dean!" Sam interrupted, and when his brother turned around, Sam pointed at the map. The thick concoction had spread itself out on the map leaving only a tiny area completely untouched. "Looks like it worked."

For the first time in days, Dean grinned and clapped his hands together, calling out as he left the room, "Pack your bags, Sammy! And make sure to remind me to buy Kevin a steak dinner or something!"

Sam looked down at the pristine spot on the map, a current of unease washing through him. What happened that hid you from their other spells, and if you were that thorough, should they really still be looking? Before Sam could think about it anymore, he took a mental note of the location and crumpled up the map.

It swished into the garbage can as he passed, going to pack his bag as instructed so they could head back out onto the road.

Once again, you were sitting in a library in front of a computer for far too long. Because of Castiel's absolute inability to use a computer, that job fell to you while he combed the bookshelves. You could see him from where you sat, and he was sitting at one of the tables surrounded by stacks of books. His brow was knit in intense concentration.

Focus.

Your brain chastised you for the millionth time since you had begun your Google journey to get back on track. Your focus was nearly non-existent, quickly getting lost in your tumultuous thoughts. It was taking every excuse to avoid the task you needed to be doing.

You wrenched your eyes to the computer screen and continued scrolling through the search results. You were sure you'd know the ins and outs of how to best use a search engine by the time all was said and done. You barely got through another page of blue links before your mind wandered again.

This time it was as though your brain was torturing you as one wrong gust of AC caused the smell of Dean to be noticeable from the flannel you wore. It was only a moment, so short of a time that you weren't even sure if you really had smelled it or if you were just remembering, but the smell launched you into a memory.

Shortly after you had started living with the Winchesters in the bunker, you had decided to make dinner for them both as a surprise. It wasn't special, considering that they never kept any actual groceries in stock, but it was something. You vividly remembered how Dean looked at you like you were his whole world at that moment. It was exhilarating, wonderful, and…terrifying. That wasn't something you remembered feeling in the moment, but looking back, it scared you to be so important to someone so soon into the relationship.

"Hello?" Castiel's gruff voice snapped you back to reality, and you saw a weathered book open on your keyboard. When he saw how dazed you were, you could see a note of concern cross his face. "Are you alright?"

You nodded profusely, turning all of your attention to the book as a means of deflection. "Yeah, all good. What did you find?"

Castiel paused as he continued surveying you, not entirely convinced. However, you ignored the angel's worries and continued skimming over the book. It was open to a Nordic poem, and after reading a few lines, you caught a word you knew – draugr.

You grimaced in disgust. "Ew. Please tell me this isn't the monster we're dealing with."

"You've had previous encounters with them? I thought this was your first time hunting alone?"

"They're not obscure! They're in an Elder Scrolls game, so yeah, I know what they are." You closed the book and handed it back to Castiel before typing 'draugr' into the search bar. You pointed to one of the pictures that depicted the game model of a rotting corpse with glowing blue eyes. "That thing. They kind of suck to deal with at really low levels."

Castiel narrowed his eyes and peered closer at the screen before shaking his head. "I believe we're looking for something more closely resembling myth."

"Well, obviously. I wasn't suggesting this thing was strutting around town unnoticed." You thumbed at the picture on the monitor before switching to the web page results, scrolling through the different links. "It is definitely going to make finding info hard, though."

"In this passage I found, it describes the draugr taking the shape of a cat, and while the victim was sleeping, the cat sat on the man's chest and suffocated him. That would be consistent with the injuries we saw on the bodies."

His tone made you look around the library nervously, and when you were satisfied that you hadn't drawn suspicion, you chided Castiel, "You can't say things like that so loud. We're in public."

"Regardless, I think a machete is our best option."

"Okay, number one: what did I just say!" You shut off your computer and stood, leading the oblivious man away from people and out of the library. The fact that you hadn't checked out the book in his hand escaped you in your haste. "And number two: how is a machete going to help?"

Castiel shrugged you off him now that you were both on the sidewalk and opened the book back up, pointing to an excerpt of text. "It says here that the draugr was slain when a warrior cut off its head while it was preying on its victim. A machete is typically the best weapon for decapitation."

"Oh. Wonderful." Your sarcasm flew over Castiel's head, but you didn't linger on that sentiment long. "I guess that means we've gotta find ourselves a cat."

"Why?"

"You said it yourself, angel boy. It found all its victims by being a cat, so we shouldn't be any different. We find it, take it home, I go to sleep while you pretend to leave, and then you give it a particularly close haircut before it can off me." You were already striding down the sidewalk to your car, eager to go on the search for stray cats. "A perfect plan, really. I see no flaws."

"I see several," Castiel remarked as he followed after you.

"Well, I didn't ask, now did I?"

He got into the car after you with only a harumph, and you didn't speak for a while. The silence let you start to reminisce again, analyzing every moment in the bunker for the past few months. How many times did you ignore your brain screaming at you that everything was too soon? How many times had you looked past Dean's brooding? How often did you struggle to be alone because if you were alone, then you thought about Laurie and the nixie?

Your brain swam with different questions and reflections until Castiel asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," you quickly denied. Your eyes focused on the road ahead to avoid his blue ones staring intently at you.

"I can tell it's about something you regret. I know that look all too well." Castiel let a moment of silence pass before he spoke again to give you the chance to admit it. "You don't have to talk about it, but denying that you're caught up in your thoughts is pointless. I have had that same spiral down myself."

"I just don't know if you'd get it since you're an angel and all." You did not want to have a gossip session with an angel, much less an angel that you were pretty sure was Dean's best friend. That seemed like the worst option at that time.

You could see Castiel's head cock in confusion in your peripheral vision. "What would I not 'get'?"

"You know…" you trailed off, but he didn't know. You'd have to explain it. "Feelings. Romantic ones, specifically."

"Ah. Romance. I actually do know a thing or two about that. Nothing meaningful, but I've had my fair share of–"

You quickly cut him off from whatever escapades he was about to describe. "Okay, we are not close enough yet for you to be telling me about your heavenly one-night stands, but I appreciate the attempt at bonding."

"None of them were in Heaven."

"Great to know that you angels aren't boning up there, Cas, but it's not the point."

Suddenly, your angel companion grew silent, and you were unsure why the conversation had stopped so abruptly. Considering its direction, you were far from complaining, but Castiel's sudden silence created some concern. You were starting to put aside the bad first impression you had and were beginning to enjoy the company.

You spotted an alley teeming with cats and pulled over to investigate, but before either of you got out of the car, you asked, "Did I say something to upset you? I'm sorry if I did."

"No, you said nothing wrong," Castiel replied, though he looked as though he was only half there with you in the car. The dazed look in his eye signaled that his thoughts were somewhere else.

"I guess you do know that look. You have it right now." You shut off the ignition and turned in your seat to face him. Castiel met your inquisitive gaze, and you parroted, "You don't have to talk about it, but denying that you're caught up in your thoughts is pointless."

One corner of his mouth quirked up as you repeated his words, and he chuckled a bit. "We have more in common than I thought we had upon meeting."

"Yeah, I'm starting to get that too. We both have the 'I don't know what the hell I'm doing' vibe."

"Vibe? As in vibration?"

"Well, no…not exactly?" You cut off your explanation, realizing that you had to stay on track. "The point is that we can help each other. You've already helped me a little bit with figuring my mess out. Let me help you."

Castiel hesitated but nodded. "That logic does make sense, but we should continue while searching for the draugr. We don't have much time to waste."

"I like the way you think! Multi-tasking is a crucial skill." You opened the car door, quickly surveying the alley in front of you. Some of its feline inhabitants skittered away with the approach of your car, but most of them still resided in the alley.

One cat, in particular, caught your eye because he was so fat and fluffy, and although you were pretty sure he wasn't the cat you were looking for, you wanted to try and approach him anyway. Your conversation with Castiel was quickly forgotten as you inched closer and closer to the cat, making sure your steps were light, and your form was hunched.

You were just a hair's breadth away from touching the cat's silky fur when Castiel said, "I don't think that's the cat we're looking for."

The cat scurried away at the sound of Castiel's voice, leaving you standing with your hand outstretched, and you quietly sighed, "No. No, it wasn't, but it would've been nice to pet."

"I see…" Castiel stiffly followed you into the alley. He looked so out of place among the garbage cans, litter, and stray cats, and it was clear he was pensive. You had assumed it was about your surroundings until he said, "It had caught me off guard when you called me Cas."

You didn't look away from the next cat you were slowly stalking towards, but you still held an apologetic expression on your face. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would upset you."

"I'm not upset," he quickly clarified. He awkwardly mimicked your posture to a nearby cat which quickly became frightened and scurried off as well. "I just had not expected you to call me that. Sam and Dean are the only ones who do so frequently."

"Do you miss them? It doesn't seem like you're around the bunker much, but the way you've talked, you were all really close."

"I would say…" The angel seemed to analyze his own feelings at that time like he had never thought about it before. "Yes. I do miss them. Although, ultimately, it has been my decisions that have made our time together few and far between."

You hummed in understanding, identifying heavily with his sentiment. "You ever think about going back to the bunker and staying there with Sam and Dean?"

"Not–" Castiel's sentence was abruptly cut off as he held his breath, finally getting close enough to pet one of the cats. His mouth pressed into a concentrated line before he sighed and stood, allowing the feline to skitter away – not the draugr. He continued, "Not very often anymore. I don't think it's the right place for me."

"How do we find the right place?"

"I don't know."

Your conversation petered until you saw a particularly malnourished cat sitting away from the rest, carefully cleaning its mangy fur. It showed no hesitation or fear as you approached, and once your hand made contact with it, you knew it was the draugr you were looking for.

You picked up the cat and carried it back towards the car, saying to Castiel as you passed, "We got 'em. Now time for the plan."

Castiel followed you wordlessly back to the car, and although you had just been in a disgusting alley trolling around garbage for feral cats, he had actually had fun. So had you. For the first time in months, you started feeling like you had a handle on your life again.