#and then it just Is Not That and his mind is fucking blown

[mightierthanthecanon]

Veilguard + The Great British Baking Show lmao

lucanis is the fan favorite who everyone expects to win, but he just so happens to have the worst fucking luck of his life during the finals and loses because nothing goes right for him (it's the curse of the star baker) (or maybe illario)

bellara on the other hand has HER bad day a few weeks earlier so luck is on her side this time and everything goes right for her for once. she wins with a cake using cyrian's favorite flavors.

neve refuses to participate in the show itself but agrees to be bellara's taste tester for however many weeks of filming. she replaces fried fish with bellara's cakes so efficiently that hal nearly cries when she finally shows up again (he honest to god thought something terrible had happened) making neve emotional herself

davrin's not a huge baker to begin with but he makes learning it his number one priority the moment he finds out about the show. single minded focus and a (usually suppressed) competitive streak get him to third place.

harding is a decent baker and a better decorator, but her flavor pairings are...unconventional to say the least. she just barely loses to davrin, coming in fourth.

emmrich doesn't bake and isn't inclined to learn lol, so he goes on for fun, attempting an elegant looking vegan recipe he's never tried before. he follows every step perfectly but for some reason it turns out awful. he doesn't mind.

taash wasn't really allowed dessert as a child so they've never really been interested in it...until this moment. they lose horribly but discover a full blown LOVE of cake. harding thinks it's adorable and starts baking cupcakes for their picnic dates.

[hopefulidiocy]

nsfw salesman?🫣

Bitch

Salesman x Fem!Y/N

Warnings: rough sex, gun play, p in v, foreplay (f receiving), SMUT, not kind, but he feels something for her.

💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼

💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼💼

Red dress. Heels.

The text came through when you were sat in your lecture, scribbling down notes you weren’t going to look at later but knew you had to do something to get him out of your mind. For the past few months you had been playing a tedious game with a nameless man, someone who had been following you for months before he turned up at your flat with four words…

“Let’s play a game.”

And you, being intrigued in this handsome man, agreed to play with him. Despite your gut telling you to run. He came every Monday an hour after your classes without fail. And without fail, you were undone every time he left.

The text came as a surprise, leaving you breathless as the class came to an end. He left no time, no place to meet, just what to wear. How the fuck could you find a red dress within the depths of your sweaters and baggy jeans? Dresses don’t suit you. It’s not a part of you. At least that’s what you thought. He might’ve seen something in those twinkling hours above your naked body, maybe he thought you’d look good in a dress. So, the port of call is to call your best friend.

It took a few tries to get through to her but she finally answered.

“What?” Her gruff voice came through your phone, she had definitely just woken up.

“Have you got a red dress?” Both of you rarely said hello to each other.

“Yes. Why?”

“Okay I’m coming over.” You hung up, tucking your phone into your back pocket and taking off down the green campus, onto the busy Main Street and basically becoming Usain Bolt towards your best friend’s apartment.

No questions asked, she thrusted the red dress in your arms and oh my god it was fucking short. It wouldn’t even cover your ass but you had the short straw here, you couldn’t simply bargain for a longer red dress because no one owns one these days. Your best friend is a hoarder so it’s usually more than likely she will have something.

Evening was drawing in, you had blown out your hair knowing it would be completely lax by the time you arrived back at your own apartment; the dress definitely didn’t cover anything, you would look better going out naked; the heels were too high and it took a few rounds of your bedroom to walk like a normal person but at least your make up was astonishingly. You were waiting by the door, anxiously tapping your toes against the wood. The knock came, once and then twice before you answered. He took one swift look at you, with that shit eating smirk of his.

“Beautiful.” And then he led you to a place with dim lighting and dark candles.

“I need you to remember something for me y/n.” He leaned forward, his elbows pressed into the table as his eyes zoned in on you, darkening with every passing second. “You’re my bitch, okay?” Goosebumps raised on the back of your neck as you squeezed your thighs together, his mouth was slightly puckered as you attempted to find the words that roamed freely in your mind. He cleared his throat, looking marginally disappointed at your silence. You simply couldn’t find any words to say. His arm reached for his briefcase, pulling it up to his lap as his hand completely disappeared inside of it. You watched him, mouth dry and throat closed as he threw a black gun on the table. He didn’t say anything at first, instead he examined you with one elbow on the table and his fingers touching his chin, his eyebrows slightly raised.

“Is-Is it loaded?” You managed to muster. He broke out into a mocking laugh, it shook the room. You leaned back in the chair, trying to breathe as his snake-like moves suddenly came closer. His broad hand wrapped around the gun as he pressed the cold brass against your temple, your breath hitched and died in your throat as he clicked the revolver. His lips brushed against the side of your neck, his breath hot compared to the cold shivers that were coursing through your body; a shock sent straight to your abdomen.

“Would you like to find out?” His voice was so low it was barely audible as his lips sent waves down your spine, he wasn’t kissing you, just simply grazing his lips against your neck, teasing you until your hands clenched in your lap.

“Answer me.” His wrist wrapped around your locks and pulling harshly, the gun still taped to your temple.

The sane side of you wanted to say no, that side wanted to push him away and point the gun at the centre of his head. But you knew you’d be seeing stars before day break, before the moon fully made itself present you’d be shaking under his touch, and you loved it. Every second you loved the way he made you feel, how his fingers played you like a toy.

“Yes.” You whispered, a small tear forming at the corner of your eye. He chuckled darkly before kicking your legs apart, suddenly revealed to him in the candlelight. He trailed the gun down from your temple to your chin as he got onto his knees for you, the only time he ever did, and hitched your dress to your hips. He tutted, shaking his head.

“Why are you wearing these?” His index finger poked at your black underwear, the only thing saving your dignity and the way he poked at you sent a harsh gasp through your body and out your mouth. He narrowed his eyes before smirking, with one hand he yanked your underwear until it was dangling over your heels. Devastatingly slowly the gun traced over your collarbone, to your breast bone, to your naval and finally onto your clitoris. The cold metal stung and the thrill of danger had you weak, it was unlike anything you felt before even from him; he clicked the gun and you shrieked despite yourself even though this gun was obviously not loaded. His gun was left on the space between your legs on the seat as his hand grazed over your inner thigh before circling your clit with the pad of his thumb, similar but better than earlier in the car. He watched you through his dark eyelashes as you slowly lolled your head to the side, your eyes fluttering shut at the gentle touch to your sensitivity; he licked his lips as he sweetly kissed you on your pussy before diving in. You clutched on the sides of your chair, moans escaping your throat as you looked towards the ceiling, letting him work his tongue all over you. Black vision spilled in front of you as your body played along with his beautiful music, your vision completely blurred as a cold wave crashed over you, causing your knuckles to go white due to the hard pressure against the chair. You knew you were shrieking, but your body completely detached as he continued using you, your noises far away as if it’s in another room. White noise rushed into your hearing as your body began to tremble, your thighs locking him shut between you as he worked faster and faster on you until you folded into yourself. The cold air hit your aching skin as he removed himself from you, standing to his full height which was imposing even in this environment and then he scooped you up bridal style. It was almost romantic as he threw you against the window for all of the world to see, it was almost beautiful when he ripped your friends dress for the neighbours to enjoy the look of your breasts pressed against the glass. His black leather shoe kicked your feet to separate them.

“Stay there.” He ordered before his shoes grew quieter and quieter. The moments in which you were alone, your body on full show, prepped for him and you knew you were a whore for him, you knew this was going to be your life now. The threat of being killed, the threat of being hurt only turned you on more until you were basically dripping down your thighs. His footsteps became louder and you knew, you just knew, he had a gun in his hand. A different one and you had no idea whether it was loaded or not. The idea made you whine, your abdomen aching for his touch.

“You look so fucking beautiful like this.” He stood back to admire the view of your ass sticking out and the rest of you pressed against the glass. He enjoyed the thought of people watching you becoming undone by his simple touch.

During these times, he rarely removed his suit and today was no different. All he had to do was unzip his pants and his dick was excitedly pointing towards your heat, he lined himself up, a gun against the back of your head unknowing whether it’s loaded or not. He grunted as the tip of him entered your walls, the stretch always shocked you, the thickness was something you had to prepare for but he very rarely allowed the bliss of feeling ready for his cock. A small loan escaped his lips, it was classical, as he entered fully inside of you, allowing himself to fully enjoy the your warmth. You pressed your cheek against the glass, jaw slack as his cock touched every nook and cranny of your cervix; he reached around with his free arm and pressed down on your abdomen as he began to push further inside of you. Whining, you arched your ass towards the ceiling to accommodate his size.

“Look at you.” He snarled, pulling himself out to just the tip to make you beg for it. To make you weak and ache for his cock. And you were. The instant he pulled out almost completely, you felt the cold air and groaned in annoyance, you were empty and all you wanted was to be full of him. You bucked your knees, to try edge his cock in further but he harshly held onto your hips, his thumb digging in so hard you felt the bruise forming. That magical feeling of his breath escaping his mouth as he emerged back inside of you, the relief that settled your heart before he began hammering his hips into you, deeper than you ever felt. The cold glass and the hot feeling of his cock inside of you was such a stunning contradiction, you hoped people could see what this man was making you feel, you squeezed your pussy around him just to hear that musical moan escape his throat again. His tie became undone as he clicked the gun, relishing in you flinching, ducking your head every so slightly but enough for him to notice and laugh.

“You love the threat of being shot, don’t you?” He snapped his hips so deep into you that for a moment you forgot your native language, you forgot the laws of physics as his cock buried itself deep within your womb, readying itself for his lust. You felt the tip of the metal begin trailing your spine as his hips snapped in and out of you, huffing as he brought his fingers towards your clit, circling it in a ferocious manner to bring you quicker to your undoing. Suddenly, he flipped you towards him, he preferred to see your face as you moaned all over his cock, bring your legs to his shoulders so he could grow deeper inside of you. You didn’t even worry about slipping down the window because he had you hard against the glass, there was hardly any space between you and him and the window. His hips came down like a hammer, he wasn’t picking up his pace and instead simply pulled half way out slowly and slammed his hips down, hitting your aching g spot as it threatened let go all over him.

“Please, faster.” You begged, crying almost to let go. His hand clasped around your neck, adding onto his quickening pace. Instead of hammering down onto your quivering body, he began to level up faster, making you cry out in absolute bliss and serenity. His hips slapped quickly onto yours, as he grunted and groaned, hiding them in your neck; he bit down as hard as he could as you let everything go all over him. He knew you had reached your high, but he didn’t stop, instead in one swift movement he picked you up and slammed you into the hard floor. You knew, come daylight, there would be a mark but you would parade it proudly knowing you had become a whore for a man you hardly knew. It was disgusting but somehow it made you hornier as his cock worked you to a pace of his own, something that physics hadn’t yet discovered. The gun was forgotten about, he didn’t want to continue threatening you, instead he wanted you to see stars once again, he wanted to hear your beautiful music as you shrieked over him.

“So good to me.” He grunted. “Your pussy belongs to me, you belong to me.” He wrapped his wrist into the knotted locks of your hair pulling violently that it made your neck completely snap towards the ceiling, making you cry out in pain that was overwhelmed with pleasure. You contracted around him, your toes curling as you unleashed everything onto him; he moaned in delight as he pushed further into you. His large hand grabbed the gun and pointed it at your forehead, you just about saw the barrel, your jaw slack and dumb.

“Look at you, in this pretty dress, getting fucked, being my own personal fuck toy.” He mocked, pounding even harder. You started seeing stars, your eyes rolling back and your throat sore; you let him have his way as you dived into a world of satisfaction, no moans or words could describe this moment between the two of you. “Can you not speak, pretty girl?” He pouted, pulling your hair and rising you roughly so your back was against his chest; your eyes still rolled at the back of your head. His fingers splayed over your exposed throat, your hair sweating as he whispered. “Do you like it when I fuck that tight cunt of yours?” You wanted to scream yes, you wanted the whole world to know that you belonged to him and you loved being used like a useless toy.

“Y-Yes. Yes I do!” You managed to squeak, but he wasn’t happy and clicked the gun in his free hand, making you flinch once again, his hips still bucking at a gods speed. “Yes. I love it when…. When… you fuck me, I love it!” You ended up screaming towards the end, eager to get it out and he chuckled darkly as his movements began falling. Close to his edge, his imprinted himself onto your neck with his mouth and shook with agonising pleasure as he painted your walls. He groaned loudly, pulling out and you simply collapsed onto your hands and knees; a stupid, shaking mess. You managed to look up at him, his eyes were black with pleasure and he smiled sweetly as he saw you curled up by his feet.

“Now tell me, sweet girl, what are you?” He mocked.

“Your bitch.”

[natandacat]

For s3 i either want armand to be lost in the fog absolutely no contact whatsoever with any of the cast (potentially they could do something fun by putting him in his suicide attempt era now and hes currently somewhere doing his thing with sybelle & benji) OR i want him to be fucking everyone but like. In secret.

Louis is fucking armand bc of bad divorce decisions and bc its somehow a better idea than fucking lestat right now (aaaand he kinda accidentally called daniel claudia during his early fledgling craze so hes forbidding himself from fucking him until that starts making sense). Also the sex was real good for 74 years and fucking around is a bit too san francisco for his taste so as long as he doesnt think about it too much this is a good arrangement. Armand is NOT allowed to call him maître or to mention anything serious at all though. The longest sentence they say to each other is like "take off your clothes" and thats IT.

Lestat is fucking armand bc louis wont fuck him and armand is looking reaaaally dishevelled these days and its activating his obsession with dolling him up. Lestat gets to give him long scented baths every time he shows up grimmier than the last and dress him up in whatever high fashion garments hes got in his closet that armand can make snide comments about -which they both enjoy as old snobs. Also gabrielle might be more around bc of the akasha business so shes on his mind a lot and armand is always eager to indulge his mommy kink as a way to one-up gabrielle.

Daniel is fucking armand but armand does wipe his mind about it bc he still wants to do the whole absent father thing as a misplaced act of what he believes is kindness but also hes very lonely and he cant help but indulge in the fantasy of a fledgling who wants him around (which is kinda real by daniel molloy standards but armand is convinced that he knows best and daniel hates him. Which is true but daniel kinda just needs like an apology and to scream at him for 3 uninterrumpted days which armand cannot comprehend for now)

None of them are aware that everyone else is fucking armand so when they meet theyre all like "ah yes armand... havent heard of him... yeah its been years..." when they just got their backs blown out like 2 hours ago

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Players

Pair: LSU!Joe Burrow x LSU basketball player!reader (friends with benefits), minor LSU!Joe Burrow x OC

Descr: You just want to focus on your career and have a good time in college. Do you make some mistakes? Sure, but why is everyone you know trying to change your mind?

TW: 18+ MINORS DNI | toxic relationships, cheating, lying, language, smut/its nasty, oral (f & m rec), fingering, unprotected sex (don’t try this at home), public sex, cocky/fuckboy!joe, commitment issues, betrayal, arguments, gaslighting (SO MUCH).

Main Masterlist

WC: 6.7k

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ 💔 ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

I don’t know how I keep getting myself in this situation.

The situation: It’s late, no one else is in the gym. The perfect setting to get in a quiet workout. That’s all I wanted and had for the first hour before catching his reflection in the mirror in front of me.

Joe Burrow. He’s not nearly as sweaty as I am, meaning he’s not here for this kind of workout; the lip bite, the fiery look in his eyes, and the way his gaze travels my sports bra and tight shorts-wearing figure says it all. He smirked when our eyes locked in the mirror and walked towards me until his chest was against my back.

Without breaking eye contact, I bent over and placed the dumbbells I had held on the ground. His hands quickly clutch my hips as my ass accidentally pushes back on him before leaning back up and removing myself from his hold.

In an attempt to regain his composure, Joe keeps himself busy putting away my weights and other equipment while I pack up my stuff. While he’s distracted, I leave the weight room and turn the corner for the lobby. But before I could walk any further, a large hand reaches out and pulls me back into a secluded locker room and I’m pushed against the lockers. I barely have time to laugh before his lips are shoved onto mine, and his hands are gripping my ass.

“I texted you.” He groans, sucking on my neck.

“My phone must’ve died. No marks!” He picks his head up and rolls his eyes. Then he pulls out his phone and calls my number. The sound of my ‘dead’ phone ringing makes him clench his jaw while I snort. “Whoops.”

“Yeah and so was that hickey.” He smirks as I turn to find a mirror.

“You fucking didn’t, what the hell Joe.” I curse finding the shiny purple marks littered on my neck.

“Next time, you’ll pick up when I call.” Then, he pulls me from the back of my neck onto his lips. I wrap my arms around his neck, feeding his needy lips and slowly succumbing to lust building between us.

“I don’t have to do shit.” I moan against his lips as he wedges a thick thigh between my legs.

“But you want to.” He groans as I grind down on his thigh, providing my own friction as well as for his bulge. “That’s enough of that.” 

He removes his thigh and palms his erection through his sweat shorts. “On your knees.”

Biting back a smirk, I start to let my hands slowly drag down his body as I kneel for him. My eyes stay locked on his. His pupils are blown out with the thinnest blue outline, my painstakingly calm actions testing his limits, while my face shows the most pure wide-eyed doe, staring up at an unknown danger.

My touch trails down his thighs to his knees while my face is at eye level with his desire. “What do I do now?” My voice, painfully innocent, only makes him grow harder.

One of his hands cups my jaw, his thumb gently padding on the fat of my lips. “I think you know.”

His voice was raspy and low like gravel. Softly smiling, I lean into his hand, slip his thumb in my mouth, and twirl my tongue around it. Joe sucks in a gasp, his teeth gnawing at his lips as I let his thumb go with a slick pop. 

“Is that what you want?”

That’s how I ended up where I am now, with his hand gripping the back of my head as I bob up and down his cock on the locker room floor. With his deep curses and praises, along with my light gags and the sound of my slick mouth welcoming his pretty pink dick echoing throughout the vacant room.  

“Fuck you’re such a good girl.”

“Doing such a good job sucking my cock, you like that don’t you.”

“I can never get enough of this mouth.”

His whines and groans only fuel me to take him in deeper, his tip now well bullying the back of my throat as I moan around him. “Oh shit.” I open my eyes to the clang of his head hitting the metal lockers, and an overwhelming sense of pride fills my belly.

“I’m gonna come, shit just like that.” 

He tries to hold on for a moment longer, not wanting the warmth of my mouth to disappear, but he makes the mistake of looking down at me.

The slight bulge of my throat, the streaks of tears running down my pretty face, my pouty lips coated in his slick and spit, but the final straw is me looking right up at him that has him letting out the deepest moan and releasing his load down my awaiting throat.

I waste no time swallowing as much of his cum as I can before he comes down from his breathtaking high and pulls out.

“Holy shit, I’ll never get used to that.” He sighs, pulling up his shorts and leaning back on the locker, happily spent.

“You’re welcome, tell your friends.” I croak reaching for the water bottle in my bag.

“I will not be doing that. Your mouth is for me and me only. Best fucking head I’ve ever gotten.” He snorts as I roll my eyes.

“Better than your girlfriend?” 

He smirks and crouches down to my level. “You know it, baby.” Then kisses my swollen lips.

“Joe,” I sigh, pulling away. “We should get out of here.”

“Yeah, it's pretty late, huh?” We both nod, and he helps me to my feet, swinging my bag on his back.

“So, my place or yours?” 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

So, the cycle doesn’t stop; the purely sexual desire between us never goes away. It doesn’t matter that we’ve had the same routine of me ignoring him only to end up back in his bed days later. Or that our thing takes away the time he could be spending with the one he claims as ‘his girl.’ A girl I’ve gotten to know well, considering we’re teammates and we live together. Do I feel guilty for what’s going on? Sure, but it’s not like I have feelings for him. We just like to fuck around; I mean, we’re young, so who’s gonna stop us.

Amaya doesn’t have to know.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

A month later, we all get invited to a Halloween-themed frat party. It’s the last big event before my Junior season, and the entire team is going. We decided to go with a Tinker Bell/ Pixie Hollow theme. I’m Iridessa, the light fairy, wearing a satin pastel yellow strapless crop top, a matching skirt, and a gold flower crown. Amaya’s supposed to be Silvermist, the water fairy, and even though he was never supposed to be a part of it, Joe took it upon himself to be Peter Pan like the drama queen he is. We all doubt he’ll do the costume any justice, but no one can stop him from wearing whatever he wants.

As I’m finishing up my makeup, I notice Amaya still in her pjs, sitting at her computer. “Hey, aren’t you going to the party tonight?”

She sighs and leans on her hand. " I can’t. I have a paper due at 8 a.m. and am barely halfway done.”

“Aww, I was excited for us to be fairies together.” I pout, fixing my crown.

“I know, I just put this off forever, and I can’t let my grades slip- it’s a midterm. But have fun without me.” She smiles, but it doesn’t meet her eyes.

“I get that. We’ll definitely miss you, though. After we take a group picture, I’ll photoshop you into it.” We both chuckled as I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door.  

“I appreciate it, oh Y/n!”

“Yea?” I turn back with a grin.

“If you see Joe, can you tell him we need to talk?” Something inside me trembles, but my smile stays intact.

“Yeah, of course, I hope he’s not in the doghouse.” I giggle, then walk out the door. “Fuck.” I huff, leaning against the wooden door and letting the situation weigh on me.

Why does she need to talk to him? Does she know something? Did someone tell her something? I don’t remember getting suspicious looks from anyone who didn’t already know about my thing with him. It was probably Ja’Marr trying to be a pain in the ass. He walks in on us one time and decides to use it as ammo for the rest of my life.

As I continued to think about every possible situation, I felt my phone buzz.

From: American Deli💋

I’m outside

Was it a horrible idea for Joe to give me a ride to this party that we were initially supposed to attend with friends? Yes, but somehow this shit was working out in my favor. For some reason, he wanted to see me before the party, and Amaya backed out. As far as I know, right now I’m in the clear.

I took one last breath and stood up straight to leave when I heard Amaya’s voice from outside the door. 

“Yeah, I’m coming. Give me some time; she just left. I know we have to act fast, but we can’t catch them together if she suspects something’s up. Yes, I know we’re talking about my boyfriend here. We don’t even know what happened that night; just because you saw them leave the gym together doesn't mean anything happened. Maybe his friends aren’t telling you shit because there’s nothing to say. I live with her, Ryan; I think I would know if she was fucking my boyfriend.”

Oh I'm in trouble.

As quietly as I can, I run down the stairs of my apartment and hop in his truck.

“You took your sweet ass time.” Joe rolls his eyes, then registers my outfit. “Oh shit, baby you put that on for me.”

“Not now Joe. Drive, just drive. We need to talk.”

“Better be about how much of that outfit I can ruin. If it’s not, I don’t wanna hear it.” He purses his lips, trying to peak at how short the skirt is.

“Joe, she knows.” I roll my eyes as his spare hand plays with the light fabric, barely covering my thighs and skirting as far away from his reach as possible.

“What are you talking about?” He stops at a red light and reaches over to pull my body closer to the middle console.

“Your girlfriend, asshole. She knows about us.” I sigh, letting him caress my warm caramel skin. 

We lock eyes for a soft moment. “I’ve never been an asshole to you.” 

“You were when we first met.” I challenge, making him chuckle and continue driving.

“Yea then you somehow landed on my dick after that. So I guess you liked it.” He winks in the rearview mirror.

“Oh fuck off, we shouldn't even be talking about that right now.”

He groans, one hand white-knuckling the wheel and the other clutching my thigh. “Why else are we going to this dumb party? Neither of us can drink or have any other kind of fun.”

“My season is literally about to start, Joe. Not everyone is the underdog right now.”

“Which is why we’re just going to have sex.” He says, completely ignoring the obvious.

“Joseph, your girlfriend is literally getting ready right now to catch us at this party doing exactly that. We can’t go.”

“Y/n, who gives a shit? You’ve been in the gym torturing me for a week. Now you’re saying we can't fuck tonight?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” I nod, crossing my arms. “And you don’t need me to get your dick wet, go ask your girl for some.”

“Fuck that, I’d rather be fucking you than dating her any day.” Then, instead of turning on the road for the party, he pulls into an empty parking garage.

This is why I block him every couple of weeks because he loves saying stupid shit like that.

“Oh my god, you can’t say that. Why are you dating her then, huh? You barely go out; you’re only ever hanging on our couch. You don’t even invite her to your games. What’s this fucking for, then?” I huffed, my fuse shortening.

Joe puts the car in park and turns his attention to me. “You.” 

My eyes widen. “Excuse me?”

“You’re right. I don’t need to be with her. I want to be with you.” 

“No the fuck, you don’t.” Shaking my head as he goes on about his feelings.

“How are you going to sit here, in my truck, and tell me what I don’t want? I’m only with her because she’s your roommate. If I’m with her, I get to be with you.”

“You’re being dramatic. If you wanna break up with her, don’t use me to justify the fact that you’re a shitty boyfriend.” I spat, my nails digging into the seat.

He scoffs and slouches against the car door. “Look at who’s being dramatic now. This is the shit you never wanna hear, so I don’t say it.”

I groaned. “Please just stop. I told you-

Joe rolls his eyes. “No labels, no feelings, no commitments, just sex. Just mind-blowing, gravity-defying, amazing sex.” A mantra everyone should live and die by.

“Exactly, so why are you trying to fuck it up?!”

“I’m not. I’m here to have sex- you’re here to argue. You never cared about me having a girlfriend, and now that she might catch us, you want us to stop.” He scoffs.

“I never said we should stop Joe.” I look down and play with the yellow mesh of my skirt. I could hear the way he huffed into the air and unbuckled to free himself from restraints.

“What would us getting caught do, Y/n? Make it so I can fuck you at your place without having to worry about getting yelled at? What are you so afraid of?” He spat.

“I’m not trying to lose my scholarship, Joey!” I huffed locking eyes with his slightly dilated crystal blues.

“That’s bullshit. Having an affair with your roommate’s boyfriend does not threaten your scholarship. If it did, half of the school would be gone.” He deadpans.

I look away from his face and stifle the laugh in my throat. “Not like that. Don’t you think it will cause a rift within the team? What if she tries something?”

“You really think she wants to risk her scholarship over me? I am not that important- to her. She would've already found out if she wanted me as badly as you’re making it seem. Why hasn’t she called? Checked up to see if I was actually going to the party. She’d rather believe rumors from her friends than ask me this shit; shows how much she cares.” Joe snorts running his hands through his hair.

He has a point, but since when does he make sense?

“Fine, whatever. Take me back- wait, where the fuck are we?” He smirks.

“Well, if you’re done being a jealous little princess- or fairy.” I side-eyed him, but he continues. “You said we couldn’t fuck at the party, so…”

My eyes widen. “Joe, absolutely not. In your truck? The seats don’t even recline.”

“Who told you that?” He smirks, adjusts the driver’s seat to go all the way back and flips the headrest so it connects with the seat in the back. Then he pushes the middle console back for more room in the front. I just blink at his new transformer features that were not there a week ago.

“What the fuck?”

Then he lays down. “Yup, now come sit on my face.”

“In your truck?”

“Yeah.”

“On top of your face?”

“That’s what I said.”

I kiss my teeth and try to imagine his request. “No way, we won’t fit. Joe, there’s no way to do this comfortably. Can’t we just go to your place? I’ll do that thing you like?” I wiggle my brows and rest my hand on his jean-clad knee.

He lifts himself back up with a playful smirk. “First of all, I like everything you do, so I have no idea what you’re suggesting. Second, all you have to do is sit or lay back. I’ll put you in the backseat and get on the floor if you want.”

“Why are you being so damn persistent about this?” I chuckle.

He looks down as a flush coats his face. “Joe, did you have a dream about this?”

“You left me on delivered for a week. I had dreams about a lot of things.” He hesitantly laughs while scratching his neck.

“Okay, when did you have the one of me riding your face in your truck?” I smirk, sliding myself onto his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Tuesday, right after I reclined the seat to move some equipment.” It’s Saturday.

“You’ve been thinking about this all week?!” He drew his lower lip between his teeth and looked away from my eyes as his hands gently massaged my hips.

“No, my dick has. Which is a part of me, so, yeah, I have.” I may have let out a chuckle at that.

“How was this supposed to work with the party?” I ask, very intrigued, and I can sense his hesitation. 

“C’mon, tell me, " I murmur, studying his face enlightened by the shallow lights outside.

“It was technically supposed to be an ‘after I fuck you in the bathroom so everyone can hear you’ thing.” He shrugged.

I snort and rake my hands through his hair while holding his gaze. “Please tell me you put this kind of thought into your school work too.”

“Yeah-and football-it really helps.” He says in a rushed breath as his pupils dilate and his hands move to massage my ass. “So are you gonna stop yapping and sit back or what?”

I bite my lip to hold in a moan from his grip hardening. “I'm gonna try it your way first, if it doesn't work, we’re leaving.” 

“I’m tearing that tiny costume off of you no matter what, so it better.” His eyes flickering between your lips and eyes.

I mirror his look then smirk. “That’s enough chit-chat. Kiss me.” 

His brows raise as he pulls me closer. “Who said you were in charge here?” He whispered against my waiting lips.

I roll my eyes and reach for the door. “I could just leave.” He snatches my hand and starts kissing my wrist. My breath hitches as his lips travel up my arm to my neck, then sucks hard beneath my ear. “Joey..”

He grins against my skin and licks over the mark he definitely left there.

“Are you gonna be a good fairy and sit on my face, baby?”

༉ 3 orgasms later ༉

Joe’s cool hands caress my heated, sticky skin as I lay on his chest, recovering from an intense high. A deep chuckle wakes me from a post-high dreamscape. “What?” I mumbled, looking up at his satisfied grin.

“I think I broke your wings.”

“JOE, those took me four hours to make!” I exclaim, but it sounds more like a whine.

“Well, you weren’t exactly complaining when it happened. In fact, I think I recall you saying ‘don't stop’ over and over again while I… ” He trails off with a smirk and jerks his hips up.

“Fuck! Cut it out.” I gasped and smacked his chest. “I hate you.”

“Then get off my dick.” He chuckles.

I smirk, shifting my hips, causing him to groan and grab them. “No, I want you to suffer.”

“Or you just like being on top of me.” Then he raises his stupid eyebrows.

I scoff and climb off of him into the other seat. He has the nerve to laugh and grab my ankle. I try to yank it back, but his long fingers curl around me.

He spreads my legs, and his lips trail down my inner thighs until his face hovers-

My eyes widen, and pull him up by his hair. “What are you doing?” 

He smirks. “What does it look like?” Then moves up and puts his hand next to your head, effectively trapping me between him and the door.

“Right now…

He looked like a man who’d been starving for ages when he was really just insatiable. His lips are pink, slick, and swollen after an hour of abuse to my skin. His eyes were dark, filled with lust and endless need. His skin flushed almost the same pink as his lips due to exertion, but he showed no sign of stopping. Don’t get started on his neck or shoulder and how they resemble what getting mauled by a baby bear with no teeth would look like.

“You got an answer for me, princess?” Despite his casual tone, his stare sent a shiver down my spine. I shake my head as he frees me from my thoughts. “What, cat got your tongue?” 

He chuckles and dips down to my ear. “All that talk, and here you are, laid out all nice and innocent for me. But you’re not, no… You’re a dirty little slut, aren’t you? Answer me, y/n.”

My breath hitches as he kisses down my neck, then wraps his hand around my throat. “You can’t, can you?” His other hand trails down my body, stopping at the bottom of my top. 

“Wearing this damn costume like the teasing minx you are. Like you don’t know what you do to me… and you thought I was gonna let you walk into a frat house like this.” He scoffs, pulling down my strapless bra.

“God, I love your tits.” His mouth finds my nub, immediately lapping and kissing around it. 

“Joey…”

His gaze meets mine, and he chuckles. “Oh... so, now you can speak?” His hand tightens around my throat as his lips return to mine. 

“Please.” My voice muffled against his demanding lips. The kiss is harsh, his lips attacking mine with a hot, bruising force that has me gasping for air when he pulls away. 

“Are you going to be a good girl now?” He growls, releasing my neck from his grasp. I nod as he sucks on my pulse point and trails his free hand down my body. “I need to hear you say it, princess. Tell me you’re gonna be a good girl, and let me have my way with you.” 

As I’m about to respond, his fingers graze my sensitive nub. “Ahh Joey, please…”

“No, not until you ask nicely. Say you want me to ruin you, pretty girl.” His deep, authoritative tone caused my body to ache even more for his touch.

“Please…” I whined breathlessly. “Take me, use me, ruin me Joey…”

“I love pretty your voice is when you’re begging for me to fuck you.” He growls, sinking two fingers into my slick cunt. My moans permeate the car as I tangle my fingers in his hair while he slowly strokes my tight walls.

“Princess, how can you barely take my fingers when 15 minutes ago you were bouncing on my cock?” He laves the skin of my neck as my hips jerk up.

“And you still want more? You just can’t get enough of me, can you?” He gruffly chuckles.

“Yes! I want more… Please Joe…” I pull his head up and suck his lips into my mouth, letting him feel just how much I need him.

“Mmmm, such a good girl for me. So I’m gonna give my sweet fairy a choice.” He pecks my lips once more before leaning back up, his fingers still massaging my inner walls. “Tell my pretty girl, you want me to pick how I make you come, or do you want to?” He already knows the answer; the second I relinquished all control, I’d be weak for him.

His thumb rubs lightly on my clit, making me whine out. “You! Please Joe…”

“God, I love hearing you beg��� Love when you sound so sweet, needy, whiney,” he chuckles, kissing down my breasts. “I can’t get enough of you, angel.” 

He flips up my skirt and groans, watching his drenched fingers pump in and out of me. “And you always get so goddamn wet for me. I wonder what you’d do if I just…” He smirks slowly, pulling his hand away.

“No no no no… Please please please…” I grab his wrist desperately, trying to pull it back. My core clenching around nothing, the pleasure being ripped away by the hollowness. “I’ll be good. I’ll be so good for you, Joe.”

He faux pouts and kisses the tears streaking down my face. Fuck, I’m pathetic.

“Don’t worry, princess. I’ll take good care of you.” He smirks, then lifts my legs over his shoulders. “You think I’d let this pussy go unsatisfied? You must not know me then.” He mumbles to himself before using two fingers to spread my lips.

“I’ll never get used to how pretty this pussy is, but god, do I love ruining her.” Were his last words before absolutely devouring me.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

Another 20 minutes late, he dropped me off at my apartment and watched with a ridiculous smile as I slowly walked up two flights of stairs. Before walking down the hall to my door, something told me to check if he’d left yet. And, of course, he was still sitting in his giant truck, waving at me with my broken fairy wing.

To: American Deli💋

Asshole I can still see you! Stop it lol

Joey drive awayyyy

From: American Deli💋

I did you good huh?

Gonna be feeling me for a week!

But don’t worry, I’ll see you before that 😉

To: American Deli💋

LEAVE, i need to wash this shit out of me

From: American Deli💋

You better answer when i call you

To: American Deli💋

😋

From: American Deli💋

Want me to come up there 😏

To: American Deli💋

You already did like twice lol

From: American Deli💋

You know what I mean, this time I’ll put you to sleep

To: American Deli💋

Maybe some other time 

From: American Deli💋

Bet, I’m gone.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

I had to calm down my ridiculous giggles before entering the apartment. I did not want Amaya to see me and get the wrong idea. But upon opening the door, there was a very “shocking” picture: Amaya in her Silvermist costume grabbing her car keys.

“Um hi, where are you going?” She looked up at me with wide eyes, genuinely stunned by my presence.

“Y/n, what are you doing here?” She chuckles hesitantly.

I tilt my head with a pout and limp over the kitchen bar stools. “I took a spill at the party and decided it was time for me to go. I didn’t want to leave early, but shit happens. I didn’t even see Joe or the girls, so I couldn’t give him your message. Now back to you, where are you going Ms. I’m So Busy, I’m Bailing On My Friends?” I question swiftly, taking the heat off of me.

She chews her lip, analyzing the bruises on my legs that were definitely caused by a chair and not her boyfriend’s hands or truck.

“I feel so fucking bad, maybe I should stay and help you.” She offers, but I shake my head.

“Amaya, what’s going on?”

“Don’t be mad, please.” She takes a deep breath and lays her head on the granite countertop. “Ryan saw you and Joe leaving the gym one night, and she’s been convinced that y'all have been sneaking around behind my back for weeks. Tonight, she overheard someone saying you were meeting up with him at the party, so I lied to you and said I wasn’t going so I could catch you with him. I’m so sorry, girl; I’m such a terrible teammate. I knew nothing was going on between you, I mean Justin talks about you all the time, and you always come back with hickies after hanging with him. I should’ve just stuck to my gut. Joe and Justin are literally friends and teammates like us, so it makes sense that you might’ve been seen out together. I feel horrible.” She sighs at the end of her rant.

I try not to appear incredibly shocked by the scenario she concocted, but it's insane. “Wow, me and Joe?”

“I know, I know. You don’t even like white guys, no less the ones I’m dating. And I know you hate talking about your sex life because of your fear of commitment and all that, but I think you and Justin are really cute.”

Did she just say-

“I don’t have a fear of commitment.” My face deadpans while she chuckles.

“Oh, my bad, I used my psychoanalysis skills on you. I know you don’t believe in labels. But he is a really good guy.” Huh, the good guy.

“I think I’m gonna go to the party now. I should apologize to Joe for ignoring him for the past few days. He was really irritable this week, and I can’t help but feel responsible.” 

“Have a few drinks for me, just kidding. But seriously, have fun, get laid.” I cringe as the words fall out my mouth, but thankfully her back was turned when I said it, so she didn’t see my face. 

“Hopefully he’s not too pissed, take it easy. You can use my new bath bomb.” She smiles and then leaves the apartment. I waited a couple of minutes before letting out a sigh of relief. If she hadn’t left any sooner, she would’ve picked up on the squirming I was doing behind the counter. That’s the last time I let him come inside me without being close to a bathroom. Because proximity is definitely the problem here.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

Joe walked into the frat house and immediately went to find his teammates. Thankfully, they weren’t far from the entrance and called him over. Justin and Ja'Marr also adorned green shirts and khakis, their valid attempt at portraying Clank and Bobble, the friends of Tinker Bell. Justin showed some effort and found glasses resembling Clank's in the Tinker Bell movies.

“Well, look who it is,” Ja’Marr smirked, looking over the quarterback for any evidence to incriminate him.

“Fuck off, I already checked. There’s nothing that you can see right now.” He said almost bashfully, then peeled the collar of his shirt to show them exactly where he was marked up. Justin just shook his head. 

“Yall are so stupid. Why don’t you just get together already? I can’t get bitches if everyone thinks I’m fucking the MVP of the women’s basketball team.” He scoffs.

“You don’t think I want that?” Joe rolls his eyes. “She’s set on making it big in the WNBA before settling for anyone, and I don’t blame her. Everyone knows she’s going to be in the first round, maybe even first pick. I just need you to lay low for now.”

“Lay low, how?” Ja’Marr asks for his fellow wide receiver.

“Amaya’s on her way to pick a fight with me, so I was never with Y/n. In fact, Jefferson saw her fall off a stool in the dining room and get banged up. She never saw me, and I got here a little after she left, got it?”

The two men look at him incredulously.

“That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“She’s not going for that shit.”

“She already did, Y/n caught her in a lie and made her fold. All we gotta do is let her feel the remorse, then it’s over.” Just as Joe finishes, Amaya walks in the door.

Justin’s brows furrow. “Wait what do you mean, then it’s over?” 

Joe puts on his best unbothered look as Amaya approaches him. “Hey baby.” She smiles.

“Hi.”

“Hi guys.” She waves to the wide receivers. “Um Justin, did you bring Y/n home? I know she said she fell off something, but I know there was more to that limp and her tiara was missing.” She chuckles.

Justin awkwardly smiles while a smirk grows on Ja’Marr’s face. “I knew y’all were being nasty upstairs, ain’t no way she was that clumsy.”

“You know me.” Joe’s spine goes rigid as Justin joins in the joke. “We like to get it in wherever we can.”

“Everything makes so much sense now, including why she came back early smelling like sex.” Amaya adds.

“Oh yea, she just wanted to go home after that. I offered to help her in, but you know she is, just crazy independent.”

Ja’Marr pats his friend on the back. “But the best part was when you gave your costume to Joe because he showed up without a costume.” He says smirking at the taller guy.

Joe grits his teeth and clenches his jaw. “You gave me the shirt you fucked her in to wear all night?” Playing along as best as he could.

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it before.” Justin smirks.

Amaya butted in before they could keep going at each other. “Joe, can I talk to you?”

He shrugs and leads her away from the boys. “What’s up?”

“I know I haven’t been the best girlfriend lately, and I definitely haven't had the best judgment as of today-

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Amaya looks down and mumbles. “I thought you were cheating on me.”

“Wow, so you pretend to be single for a week, and I’m the one with the allegations.”

“I let my friends get in my head Joey, I know you would never do that to me.” Then he lets out a chuckle. “Joey, come on. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She pouts.

“Don’t worry about it, this thing between us was getting old anyway.”

“Joey! No I apologized, this is when we leave and go have great makeup sex.” She whined tugging on his shirt.

He pushes her hands off of him and grimaces. “Ooo, I don’t know if the sex has ever been good. But you can keep your apology, maybe if you hadn’t ghosted me for a week your friends wouldn’t have been right.”

Her eyes widen and lips part. “What do you mean? What are you talking about? What’s happening!”

“Maya, why are you so fucking slow? You really think you were the only one. Everything we did was shit- I’d leave your place and go straight to the gym.” He smirks with a wink.

“You cheated on me?”

“And now I’m breaking up with you.” He says as if it's nothing.

“Why would you do this to me?” Her eyes brim with tears.

“Why are you being so goddamn dense? You weren’t enough. Now go cry about it somewhere else.”

“How could you!”

He bites his lip to hide his grin, “players gonna play, and you’re not good at the game.” Then he started to walk off.

“WHO WAS IT?”

His mouth curls up, “I don’t kiss and tell.” Then he winks and shuts the door behind him.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳*°:⋆ₓₒ

* 2 new unread messages *

I had just gotten into bed when my phone went off. After Amaya left, the rest of my night calmed down significantly. I had a luxurious bath, devoured a 10-piece wing, and read a book on the couch, which led me here—sitting in bed staring at the two texts on my lock screen. Amaya’s was first, and Joe’s text came seconds later, but both brought worrisome thoughts.

I decide to open Joe’s first.

From: American Deli💋

Thanks for making me go to that party. I had lots of fun😉

“Oh no.” He didn’t do what I think he did, right? There’s no way.

Then, opened my roommate's message.

 From: AmayaBaller

This night sucks, wanna watch Brotherly Love🥺

“Fuck he did. That motherfucker.”

To: American Deli💋

What the hell is wrong with you?

I told you NOT to break up with her dumbass!

From: American Deli💋

You snooze you lose.

How’s that limp btw 😏

To: American Deli💋

See you at playoffs asshole😒

From: American Deli💋

You’re not doing this again

Read

BABY

Read

Y/N COME ON

Delivered

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

Why does he have the be the biggest fucking player? Why do I like him? Wait- no. I don’t like him, he’s a good fuck. One I'm giving up for a few weeks, which will be missed. But I don’t feel anything too heavy for him. He’s a dick. It's as simple as that.

I didn’t have to respond to Amaya’s text because she decided at that moment to walk into my room and slump on my Queen Sized Bed.

“Hey, I saw your text. Wanna talk about it?” I ask as she begins to sob into my comforter.

“Why wasn’t I enough for him? It’s not my fault he was my first. He could’ve taught me stuff or told me to watch porn to get better!”

“Maya, he’s a man- an ungrateful, selfish, cocky, self-absorbed-” she picks her head up with both brows raised, but in a somewhat grateful way. “He’s a heartbreaker. A player.”

She scoffs and climbs into the spot next to you. “Tell me about it. He won’t even tell me who it was.” She says, laying her head on my shoulder. 

“I wish he loved me like Justin loves you.” Alarming sounds start going off.

“Let’s not talk about that right now. Didn’t you wanna watch a movie?” I remind her just as my phone starts uncontrollably buzzing. Great, I knew I should’ve blocked his ass.

“Not anymore; Justin’s probably here to take you to pound town again. He told me y'all hooked up tonight, not that I needed it confirmed after that limp and messy mascara.” She giggles, reaching for my phone. My eyes widen as she grabs it before I can get my arm from under her.

“Oh my god, he’s in your phone under American Deli!” Her giggles turn boisterous. “I’m glad there’s at least a kiss emoji next to his name. Did you really have to-” As she stops a questionable look develops on her face.

“What?”

“Jetta2Smooth, just texted you.” Looks like the whole crew plotting my downfall tonight. 

“If Justin is Jetta2, who is American Deli?” She puts the phone down and turns to me. I have to actively try not to lose eye contact with her while putting together a logical reason for the contact. 

“I told you he wasn’t my boyfriend.” I mumble, taking the phone. At least it’s true.

“You’re using him? But he’s the nicest guy on this campus, maybe in the city! What the hell Y/n.” She crosses her arms.

“Maya, come on. We’re in college, we’re about to have the best season of our lives. I don’t wanna be tied down-

“You don’t want to be committed!” Here she goes again with the damn commitment issues.

“Amaya. My dream is almost here! When he goes to NFL, what’s gonna happen? We date, then drafted to opposite sides of the country? I don’t want that. Even worse, what if he gets me pregnant.”

“Oh my god, long-distance relationships can work! Maybe have protected sex for once! These are all just excuses because you don’t want to face your problems head-on! You love him but are too scared to accept that fact.” 

“I don’t love Jo-ustin!” 

“I don’t believe you. Whoever American Deli is, I hope he knows he keeping you away from a great guy. Justin deserves better than a liar.” She gets off the bed then scoffs, “Oh my god, you’re just like Joe.”

I immediately shake my head, a gritty distasteful sap coating my mouth. “I’m nothing like him.” 

“Yeah, like you said, he’s a player too.” She slams the door behind her, leaving me with my thoughts. 

The only player I am is a basketball player, it’s why I’m at this school and why I know all these people. Joe plays with people’s feelings, I tell them what I want head-on. She’s just upset he did the same thing to her that he did every other bitch at this school. Except for- but we don’t feel that way about each other. We can’t.

There’s no way I’m in love with Joe Burrow. None.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: y'all heard her, absolutely no way. just like there's absolutely no way I'm making a part 2 of this fic 🤫 as always, like, reblog and comment your favorite line ♡

[sweetheartbitesb4ck]

part one || part two || part three || this is part four

The weeks following your first 'date' with Simon were full of going on little walks together, but most of all? The pings, to say the least. He would text you so often it came as a shock to you he even had a job. You found it amusing, sure, maybe even annoying, but you hadn't anticipated the sheer silence when he was 'away with work', as he put it.

You had guessed that meant deployed or something of the sorts... and it worried you, yeah, but your feelings for him were still new and you didn't want to get hurt if anything was to happen.

You'd been excited when he'd promised to write to you a few days before he left, but as the days flew by with nothing more than some bills, bank statements and late birthday cards dropping through the letter box it occurred to you that Simon Riley had been too blown away when he first saw you in your house to remember the road name, and far to drunk when he first spoke to you to remember the number on your front door.

So Simon sat there when he wasn't fighting or in briefings and had downtime (which was rare) writing letters he knew he couldn't send away, partly because it was a risk to send stuff away and partly because he would just blank on your god damn address every single time.

He didn't even have his phone because of something to do with trackers and intel and it was all a bit of a fuzz of unconfirmed information that Simon had explained to on a walk a few days before his departure.

This is what worried you. You obviously knew the dangers, and you two weren't even 'official' yet, but you would have liked to be updated. You couldn't help but feel a bit sick when your mind travelled to the horrors his job could boast.

Prior to his deployment, you and Simon had got to know each other a little better, which only made your nerves worse now you had more of a bond, plus you had gotten to see the less flustered version of him. You'd mostly talked over the phone but had also gone on a few walks together. It felt weird; missing someone you'd so quickly fallen for. You could only hope as the days blurred into weeks then into months.

Then, two months later, Simon was back. He'd been resting and getting medical support for a day or two before he journeyed home, and his first thought? It was to retrace his steps down that one road to that house with the open window that had changed everything. He could have slept, unpacked, done anything, but all he wanted to do was to see you.

You groan as you hear a knock against the door... you'd just about drifted off after hours and hours of tossing and turning, your head reluctant to rest. Trudging downstairs, you pull on a hoodie over your pyjamas. "Who the fuck..?" You murmur, clicking on the hallway light and unbolting the door, ready to dive back into bed.

"What?" You grumble as you swing the door just a crack open, your eyes widening and breath hitching at seeing that tall frame and skull mask. You slam it shut, fumbling to unlatch the door and burst it open, flying into the bulky man's arms and screaming.

Simon grins under the balaclava, stumbling backwards slightly as you bounce onto him. "You alright?" He asks, his voice so nonchalant even as you wrap your arms around him. Probably still trying to seem cool for you.

You pull back, face still covered in shock. "Fucking alright? That's all you have to say?" You cry, voice a few pitches higher than usual. "Fuck, Simon... you said you would write!" You mumble, leaning back in to hug him. Part of you wanted to say there forever, holding him there and squeezing him as hard as you could, but you knew you should probably invite him in. So that's what you do.

His mind flicks back to Soap's so called relationship advice, the words "honesty is key" in that loud Scottish accent rattling through his mind. "Okay fine," He grunts, avoiding eye contact. "I hate tea. Can't bloody stand the stuff."

"Well," Ghost replies, shoving his hands into the big pockets of his tactical jacket as he steps inside, shutting the front door behind him and following you to the kitchen "I didn't know your address," He admits, smirking as you raise an eyebrow at him and snicker. "Oh yeah," You chuckle slightly, trying to refrain from smothering the poor bloke as he takes a seat at your table. "Tea?" You tilt your head and glance at the kettle.

"I hate t-" Simon bites the inside of his cheek and curses under his breath. Fuck... He thinks, realising him lying about loving the drink would probably wean him into having it regularly. "Tea's great," He nods, noting how you raise your eyebrows, expression sceptical.

Simon nods, rubbing his eyes sarcastically. "It's probably too late to walk home, aye," He says, eyebrows raised.

You huff with amusement, flicking the kettle off and rifling through your cabinet. "I'm out of coffee,"

You and Simon chatted for hours, sitting at the table. At first, he was jittery, but he soon relaxed, trying to stop staring at you, although this was hard as he finds you so breathtakingly perfect.

A few hours later, you tilt your head and smile at Ghost as he yawns. "You must be tired," You say softly, leaning on the counter.

"Yeah," You respond, scratching your neck with a mock confusion. "Lucky I have a double bed, eh?"

And with that, the two of you curled up on the mattress, Ghost pulling you towards him, arms firm around you as he let the gentle rise and fall of your chest guide him to sleep.

"You're sure?" Asks Ghost, his nervous expression from the coffee shop returning to his face. He was still terrified of scaring you away, but wanted nothing more than to collapse onto your bed and just hold you. You nod, smiling gently. "Come on." Taking your hand, Simon follows you upstairs to your cosy room, allowing himself to relax, stop being awkward. The decoration alone made him feel at home, probably because it shone with your personality.

Love. Simon was sure that's what that feeling was... the one that had seized his whole being since he first set eyes upon you.

Never in a million years would he have predicted this if he was asked about his future a few months ago, but here you were, two awkward and unsure people falling in love from nowhere.

thank you sm for reading! I hope you enjoyed part four..! if anyone wants a part five, I'll most likely do it, ( I just need to figure out what I'd write... probably something about the letters) but yea if u want that just let me know.... also, feel free to make any asks for fics u would like to see :)

sorry if my posting is irregular for a while! I'm back at uni and work after the Christmas break so very busy

[darksturnz]

ECHOES OF LIGHT

CONTENTS:・fluff-heavy plot ・ star!reader ・fruity behavior again・bambi!madison・mentions of church (kinda not really!) ・substance use + more WC: 3K

no like you have to listen to this one AFTER the italics😿

The trailer door slammed open, the echo of the impact rattling the thin walls of the small space. Danny stumbled inside, the weight of the late hour and too much cheap whiskey heavy on his every movement. His boots dragged across the floor, leaving scuff marks in their wake as he muttered curses under his breath. The stale smell of alcohol and cigarettes clung to him, mixing with the oppressive silence of the trailer—a silence that seemed to amplify the weight of his bubbling anger.

He scanned the dimly lit kitchen, his bloodshot eyes catching on the empty countertop and the unlit stove. No dinner, no Star. His jaw clenched, the frustration blooming into full-blown rage as he kicked the side of a chair, the clatter breaking the quiet. “Ungrateful little shit,” he hissed, slurring the words together. “Can’t even do the basics, can she? Out runnin’ around like she’s got no damn responsibilities.”

He staggered toward the hallway, the flickering bulb above casting uneven light on the worn floorboards. His movements were uneven, his balance precarious as his shoulder bumped against the wall. “Don’t give a damn about no one but herself,” he muttered, a sneer twisting his face. Each step closer to Star’s room fed the fire of his anger, his mind already crafting a list of her supposed failures.

When he reached her door, he shoved it open without knocking, the old hinges creaking in protest. The sight inside gave him pause—not for long, but long enough to let a flicker of something other than anger cross his features. The room was a stark contrast to the rest of the trailer, a small sanctuary filled with the scent of plums and mango. It was uniquely hers, a blend of moody, dark tones with tiny sentimental touches. Posters covered the walls, and string lights looped around the ceiling. The little glowing stars they had stuck up there years ago still clung stubbornly to the surface, a faint reminder of a time long past.

Danny’s gaze lingered on the stars for a moment, his mind flicking to Grace and the hours they had spent arguing over how to get them to stick just right. The memory was a brief, unwelcome intrusion, and he shook it off, his anger swallowing the nostalgia whole.

“Think you’re better than me, huh? Better than this place?” he spat under his breath, as if Star were standing there to hear him. The bitterness in his voice reverberated off the walls as he began rifling through her belongings. His hands were rough, careless, pulling at her clothes, shoving items aside without purpose. He wasn’t looking for anything—he just wanted to disrupt, to vent his frustration in the only way he knew how.

His attention shifted to the window, cracked open slightly to let in the crisp night air. He stumbled toward it, muttering under his breath. “Fucking idiot,” he grumbled, slamming it shut with a loud thud that shook the frame. “Heating bill’s gonna be through the roof. S’not like she gives a damn.”

In his drunken clumsiness, his knee collided with the edge of the dresser. A loud thud echoed in the room as a small pile of items tumbled to the floor—a jewelry dish, a couple of notebooks, and a folded piece of paper. The drawing Chris had left the night before fluttered down, light as a feather, sliding behind the dresser and disappearing into the shadows.

Danny barely noticed, too preoccupied with his own muttered complaints. Satisfied with the misplaced tirade, he turned and stumbled out, slamming the door behind him. The once-cozy sanctuary was left in disarray—Star’s belongings scattered, the scent of mango and plum now mixed with the stale air of his intrusion.

The trailer fell silent again, the chaos he’d left behind a stark contrast to the stillness. And the drawing, a quiet plea folded into a forgotten piece of paper, lay hidden in the dark, waiting to be found.

Madison sat cross-legged on the floor of her bedroom, a clutter of makeup brushes and compacts scattered around her. The warm golden glow from the lamp on her dresser cast long shadows across the room, highlighting the soft ivory of her sweater and the plaid skirt she’d carefully chosen earlier. Her Bible sat forgotten on the bed next to a notebook filled with scribbled notes for church meetings. Tonight wasn’t about scripture or planning; it was about showing up, looking presentable, and being the dutiful daughter of Pine View’s sheriff and mayor.

Star, on the other hand, was sprawled on Madison’s window seat, her back against the wall, one leg pulled up while the other dangled lazily. She held a well-worn copy of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Path in one hand, the pages dog-eared and smudged with fingerprints. In her other hand, a joint rested loosely between her fingers, the smoke curling upward and drifting out the cracked window. The faint hum of cicadas filtered in, blending with the low music playing from Madison’s Bluetooth speaker.

“I hate everything I brought,” Star muttered, not looking up from her book as she exhaled a lazy plume of smoke. The words were heavy with frustration, and Madison glanced at her through the mirror, biting back a smile.

“You’ve said that about six times now, check my closet” Madison replied, carefully brushing blush onto her cheeks. She tried to keep her tone light, but the corners of her lips twitched. Watching Star pout and grumble was always strangely endearing.

Star finally lowered the book, tossing it onto the seat beside her before swinging her legs over and standing. She stretched, her hoodie riding up slightly to reveal a sliver of skin, and Madison’s brush faltered for a moment. She swallowed hard and forced herself to refocus on her reflection, even as her gaze darted back to Star through the mirror.

“You don’t get it,” Star said, pulling her hoodie over her head in one fluid motion. She stood there in her sports bra and jeans, her hair a wild mess from the sweater. “Everything I own is either too dark, too tight, or too depressing for whatever this church thing is supposed to be.”

Madison tried to respond, but the words caught in her throat. Her hands stilled on her makeup brush as her eyes lingered on Star’s reflection. The soft curve of her shoulders, the faint shadows of her collarbones, the way her hair tumbled down in uneven waves—it was all so… distracting. Madison’s cheeks flushed, and she quickly looked down, pretending to fidget with her lipstick.

“Not sure why I care,” Star continued, oblivious to Madison’s sudden discomfort. She rifled through Madison’s closet, her movements sharp and frustrated. “S’not like anyone’s gonna say anything.”

“I’ll notice,” Madison said before she could stop herself. Her voice was quiet, almost too soft to be heard, and she felt a flicker of panic as soon as the words left her mouth. She quickly added, “And for the record, you look good in anything.”

Star glanced over her shoulder, a grin tugging at her lips. “That’s cute, Mads, but not very helpful.” She pulled out a black cardigan dress and held it up to her body. “What about this? Or is it too funeral-y?”

Madison turned her attention back to the mirror, pretending to focus on her eyeliner. But when she saw Star holding the dress in the reflection, her breath hitched. The soft black fabric hugged Star’s figure perfectly, and Madison’s stomach flipped in a way that felt both thrilling and terrifying.

“S’perfect,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She hoped Star wouldn’t notice the faint tremor in her words.

Star grinned, tossing the dress onto the bed before turning back to the closet to grab her boots. Madison let out a quiet sigh of relief, her hands trembling slightly as she capped her eyeliner. She told herself it was nothing—just a passing thought, a moment of admiration for her best friend. But deep down, she knew it wasn’t that simple.

The church courtyard was strung with soft yellow lights, the glow illuminating the clusters of townsfolk mingling beneath them. Tables were set up with trays of cookies and cupcakes, and a small speaker played country music in the background. It was a modest event, but the kind of thing Pine View thrived on—simple, familiar, and filled with faces that all knew each other.

Madison’s parents were already in the thick of it, her father shaking hands with other men in uniform while her mother chatted with the local pastor. Madison and Star slipped in quietly, doing their best to avoid drawing too much attention.

“This is… a lot,” Star muttered, sticking close to Madison’s side. Her black cardigan dress and platform boots made her stand out among the sea of pastel dresses and khaki slacks, but Madison thought she looked perfect.

“It’s not so bad,” Madison said, though she could feel the tension in Star’s posture. “We’ll just grab some cupcakes, pretend to care about small talk, and then bail.”

Star’s lips quirked into a small smile. “Sounds like a plan.”

They wandered to the dessert table, where Star immediately grabbed one of the cupcakes and made a face. “This tastes like disappointment.”

Madison laughed, the sound light and genuine. “It’s made by the church ladies. What did you expect?”

After an hour of obligatory small talk and polite smiles, Star tugged on Madison’s sleeve. “Y’wanna ditch?”

Madison hesitated, glancing around the courtyard. But when she saw the hopeful glint in Star’s eyes, she relented. “Fine. But only for a little while.”

Star grinned and led the way to the small garden behind the church. The space was quiet and dimly lit, the string lights from the courtyard casting faint shadows across the benches and flowerbeds. Star flopped onto one of the benches, pulling a fresh joint from her bag and lighting it with practiced ease.

“You’re crazy,” Madison said, sitting beside her. “We’re at a church, Star.”

Star exhaled a soft plume of smoke, her grin playful. “S’not like I’m lighting it in the sanctuary.” She held the joint out to Madison, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “C’mon. Live a little bambi.”

Madison hesitated, her cheeks flushing at the stupid nickname. “You’re terrible.”

“And you love me,” Star teased, her voice warm and teasing.

Madison’s heart skipped a beat, but she forced a laugh and took the joint, coughing on her first drag as Star laughed beside her.

Star eventually lays back, resting her head in Madison’s lap as she stared up at the sky. “Did you know the light from those stars is already dead?” she murmured. “It’s just… echoes.”

Madison nods softly, “mhm, you’ve mentioned it only a few times” she says playfully as her fingers brushed through Star’s hair, her gaze lingering on the curve of her lips as Star continued to ramble about constellations. The warmth of the moment settled over them like a blanket, and Madison felt her chest tighten.

She leaned down slightly, her breath catching as her lips hovered before pressing a soft kiss to Star’s cheek.

Star blinked, her gaze shifting to Madison with a soft, confused smile. “What was that for?”

Madison shrugged, trying to hide her blush. “I dunno. You just looked like you needed one.”

Star’s smile lingered, but she didn’t press. Instead, she settled back into Madison’s lap, her voice soft as she pointed out another constellation.

Madison’s heart raced, but for now, she let herself enjoy the moment, the quiet realization settling over her like the stars above.

The quiet of the church garden wrapped around them, the distant hum of voices from the courtyard blending into the symphony of crickets and rustling leaves. Madison’s fingers twitched slightly as they brushed against Star’s hair, her heartbeat loud and uneven in her chest.

Star lay still in Madison’s lap, her body relaxed, but her gaze flickered with life as she stared at the stars above. Her lips parted slightly, and she let out a breathy laugh that seemed to echo in the stillness.

“What’s so funny?” Madison asked, her voice soft and curious, her hand pausing mid-stroke through Star’s hair.

“I dunno,” Star admitted, turning her head slightly to meet Madison’s eyes. The motion caused her cheek to rest against Madison’s leg, the warmth of her skin seeping through the fabric of Madison’s skirt. “I just… it feels nice, y’know? Being out here, quiet. With you.”

Madison nodded slowly, her eyes lingering on Star’s face as her own cheeks started to heat up. “Yeah,” she murmured. “It does.”

Star shifted slightly, her expression softening as she turned back to the sky. “Sometimes, I think about what it’d be like to just… float up there,” she said, her voice dreamy and distant. “Like, if you could just let go of everything and let the stars pull you in. It’d probably be cold as hell, but at least you wouldn’t have to think so much.”

Madison’s chest tightened, a faint ache blooming there. She didn’t say anything at first, just let her fingers trail absently along the ends of Star’s hair, her thoughts swirling. She hated how much Star carried, how heavy her life seemed to weigh on her, and yet… she admired her for still being here, for still smiling and laughing even when it hurt.

“You don’t have to do it alone, you know,” Madison said quietly, the words slipping out before she could stop them.

Star blinked, her brows furrowing slightly as she glanced back up at Madison. “Do what alone?”

“Everything,” Madison replied, her voice trembling just enough to betray her nerves. She cleared her throat, her fingers stilling in Star’s hair. “I just mean… I don’t know. You’re always dealing with so much—your dad, Chris, your mom—and you act like you’ve got it all under control, but you don’t have to. I’m here, Star. I’m always here.”

Star’s lips parted slightly, as if she wanted to say something, but no words came. Instead, she sat up slowly, her gaze searching Madison’s face. For a moment, they just looked at each other, the air between them heavy with unspoken things.

“Madison…” Star began, her voice hesitant, but then she stopped, biting her lip. She looked down, her fingers picking at the hem of her cardigan. “I don’t even know how to let people help. Every time I try, it feels like I just mess it up.”

“You don’t mess anything up,” Madison said firmly, her voice steadier now. “You’re just… you. And that’s enough. That’s always enough.”

Star looked up at her again, her eyes wide and glistening in the dim light. For a second, Madison thought she might cry, but then Star let out a shaky laugh, her shoulders relaxing.

“You’re so cheesy,” Star said, but her tone was soft, almost affectionate. “If this is your way of getting me to come to all of these stupid things, it’s working.”

Madison laughed, the sound light and genuine, and the tension between them seemed to ease. Star leaned back, her head finding its way to Madison’s lap once more, and Madison let out a small breath of relief. Her fingers resumed their gentle path through Star’s hair, and Star closed her eyes, a faint smile tugging at her lips.

The courtyard was emptier now, most of the families having left while a few stragglers lingered near the dessert table. Madison and Star walked side by side, their arms brushing occasionally as they made their way back toward the main event. Madison’s cheeks still burned faintly from the kiss on Star’s cheek, but Star didn’t seem to notice—or if she did, she wasn’t saying anything.

“You’re lucky this thing wasn’t a total drag,” Star said, her voice light. “I mean, sure, the cupcakes tasted like sadness, but I guess the company was alright.”

Madison rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. “Glad I could make your night bearable.”

“Barely,” Star teased, nudging Madison’s arm with her elbow. But her smile softened, and for a moment, she looked at Madison with an expression that made Madison’s heart stutter.

“Thanks,” Star said quietly. “For, y’know… everything.”

Madison’s throat tightened, and she nodded, unable to trust her voice. She wanted to say something—something meaningful, something that would let Star know just how much she meant to her—but the words stayed stuck, tangled in the mess of her feelings.

By the time they got back to Madison’s house, Star was yawning, her eyelids heavy as she kicked off her boots and flopped onto Madison’s bed without a second thought. Madison smiled softly, watching as Star burrowed into the blankets, her messy hair fanning out around her. Comet hopped up onto the bed and curled up near Star’s neck, purring contentedly.

Madison changed into her pajamas quietly, her thoughts a whirl of emotions she didn’t know how to process. When she finally slid into bed beside Star, careful not to disturb her, she lay there staring at the ceiling, her heart racing.

Star’s breathing was soft and even, her presence warm and steady beside Madison. It was both comforting and overwhelming, and Madison couldn’t help but glance over at her, her gaze lingering on the curve of Star’s lips.

The thought came unbidden, sharp and undeniable, and Madison’s chest ached with the weight of it. She didn’t know what to do with the feeling, didn’t know if she even could do anything with it. It was terrifying and wonderful all at once. But as she turned her gaze back to the ceiling and closed her eyes, she let herself hold onto it, just for tonight.

I love her.

AUTHORS NOTE: sorry for ignoring all your ask…as you can see there was a reason why😅😅😅 ANYWAYS WOO GAY MADISON WOO

TAG LIST: @jetaimevous @sturnsblunt @riasturns @ifwdominicfike @chrissturns-wife @mattsmunch @pip4444chris @ribread03 @ariestrxsh @angelic-sturniolos111 @pvssychicken @mattslolita @stvrnzcherries @dottieboo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @bluestriips @sturniolo-fann @chrisslut04 @owensbabygirl @sturnslutz @sturniqlo @sofieeeeex

[haveihitanerve]

Batboys centric in which they come to the realization that Bruce is pretty (not romantically, the kind of pretty when you look at your mom's wedding photos and see her in an amazing dress).

Bruce isn't used to people seeing him as pretty, but her Brucie Wayne persona because that's the whole point of it.

ohohoho i have a hunch this is you and also this is sooooo interesting... lemme see what i got-

“Do you want to come to the tavern with me?” 

The words caught Dick off guard. Both because he hadn’t heard anyone say “tavern” in years, and because Bruce had said it.

“Um?” He glanced up from where he was sprawled over the couch, looking away from his phone. “Yeah? Sure?”

Bruce hummed, reaching up a hand as though to run it through his hair, then thought better of it, and dropped it again. For good reason too.

Dick tripped as he stood, eyes glued to his father, blown wide. Bruce frowned, glancing down at himself.

“What's wrong?” He asked, concerned.

Dick’s cheeks burned and he ducked under Bruce’s arm, heading up the stairs. “Nothing, nothing, I’m just gonna get changed.” He muttered, hurrying up the stairs and ducking behind the corner.

Because what the fuck.

Dick peeked back out, daring a glance back down the stairs at his Dad.

Bruce was wearing a loose fitted light pink tank top, tucked half heartedly into deep navy slacks, hair styled away from his face in a way that clearly revealed his age.

It wasn’t to say that Dick had never seen his Dad in different versions of undressed. Quite the contrary. Their line of work required levels of nudity, whether while dressing an injury, showering, or working their secret identity personas.

But this… Dick shook his head, heading to his room to grab some clothes to change into.

Bruce was… pretty. 

The next time it happened, Dick had witnesses. Jason and Tim were sitting in the den with him, pretending to watch a movie.

Truly, only Jason was actually focused on the story, as it was a movie that had come out when he’d been dead, but Tim would look up on occasion, usually only to draw Jason into a quick debate before dropping his attention back to his phone.

Dick himself was listening to the movie like an audiobook, a real book propped up halfheartedly on his stomach.

“Tim, could you help me quickly?” Bruce called, a moment before he entered the den.

Tim dropped his phone, eager for an excuse to have some work to do, faltering only for a second when he realized the task wasn't case work. No, instead it was much much worse.

Dick lifted his book, cheeks burning, as Jason stared, eyes wide, jaw dropped.

Tim, however, seemed completely unbothered, hands moving quickly and effortlessly to help Bruce out before he dropped back into the seat.

Bruce ruffled his hair with a light smile, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Thanks Timmy. Boys.” He nodded at his eldest and exited again.

“Tim.” Jason hissed the second he was out of hearing, and Dick dropped his book.

Tim, who had returned to his phone, completely unruffled, glanced up, frowning when he spotted their gagged expressions. “What?” He asked, puzzled.

“You just-” Jason floundered.

“You just helped lace Bruce up in a corset.” Dick hissed. Tim blinked, mind whirring.

“Yes?” He finally agreed, still perplexed. “And this is important because…??”

“He’s pretty.” Jason scowled.

Tim laughed. “Guys, you do realize that our Dad is Bruce Wayne right??? The guy who wins every fashion contest? The guy our classmates call hotter than Superman?? The one person where guys go “i’m not gay but…” and girls go “i’m not straight but…” That Bruce Wayne, yeah?”

Dick scowled. “Yes. We’re aware. I’ve had to deal with those comments about him for much longer than you ever have.” He shot petulantly.

Tim raised his hands, brows furrowed. “Then what's the big deal???”

“We know he’s hot.” Jason snapped. “But he’s… he’s just.” He looked at Dick for help.

“He’s never been pretty.” Dick supplied. “Hot, yeah sure, handsome, okay, sexy, ugh, fine. But- but pretty??? He can’t leave the house like that. My ears will never recover.”

Jason nodded his agreement, looking like a grim military general at war and not a child discussing his fathers attraction level.

Tim looked at both of them, laughed, and propped his feet up on the table, picking up his phone again, chuckling like a supervillain.

“Oh man. And y’all haven't even seen him in a dress yet.” 

um. so.. okay. Firstly, I'm so sorry for the long wait, I just uh have been really busy and unmotivated and yeah im so sorry 😭- secondly, this is not like, even close to what you asked... and i also apologize for that, but i figured better late than never? and its like... kind of in line with what you asked so... yay? anyway sorry and here and hope you like it even tho its not what you asked :)

[joyceyayo]

Stanford & Stanley Pines NSFW alphabet Pt. 1

A/n - there is some freaky shit, you’ve been warned.

A = aftercare (what they like after sex)

Ford: He gets flustered after, often embarrassed of things he said or did in the heat of the moment. But that won’t stop him from wrapping his arms around you and cuddling you to sleep.

Stan: If it’s a one night stand, I think he’s partial to leaving right after. Maybe a pat on the ass to say goodbye. but if be really cares for you hes all about aftercare. You often see him smirking after, cocky and proud of himself. He’ll almost always snap open a Pitt and light a cigarette, holding it to your mouth for a drag if you ask nicely.

B = body part (favorite body part of theirs and their partners)

Ford: He always says his brain, but if you say he’s annoying and cheated, he’ll give you his honest answer. Which is his chin; he never really thought about it until a girl from BMU said he had the perfect mouth and chin to sit on, which had him blushing every time he thought about it for weeks. And yes. All the girls there were that forward. So suffice to say, he got his fair share of pussy there. And he never minded his smile; he liked how you could always tell him and Stanley apart from their smiles. And you can’t disagree with any of this :)

Stan: His arms. When he hit puberty, he barely noticed and honestly disliked the broad shoulders and big arms he was developing a bit. It's just another thing for people to pick on him for. But one day, when he and Ford were next to each other in the mirror, Ford said something about, “How are we genetically identical, yet you’re the one who got dad’s arms?” Ever since, he didn’t seem to mind them.

C = Cum (where they like to cum ofc 😋)

Ford: Inside of you. All day. Every day. Not literally, of course. Or maybe…? He doesn’t know. What he knows is that all day every day, his brain is wracked with thoughts about stressful and dire shit he can’t control one bit… but when he fills you up, it’s like a switch is flipped that turns all of that off, and he’s just with you.

Stan: Tits, ass, face. The man isn’t picky as long as he gets to cum on you while looking right at you.

D = dirty secret (a dirty secret obviously)

Ford: This man steals your fucking panties. Used ones, too. You’ve found the panties you thought went missing accidentally left in his pocket while doing laundry. You playfully scolded him while slapping his arm with them, calling him a dirty old man. But you let up a bit because he was so cute when he got embarrassed about it, turning bright red and chuckling.

Stan: takes Polaroids of you sleeping after sex… he thinks it’s normal enough. He keeps them in his bedside table, and depending on how long you last, you will go for years oblivious to such photos.

E = experience (how experienced are they?)

Ford: experienced enough to make you feel great. I mean, he went to Backupsmore… I feel like they get freaky, but not Ford. Was definitely a virgin until college, but had his fair share of fun when he got there. One time took notes while watching an orgy. He had so many questions… not many were answered.

Stan: very experienced. When he was hopping from state to state trying out his brands, he was also trying out the women; he can't tell you how many times he'd got blown and ridden in the stan mobile... and he didn’t mind it.

F = favorite position (this goes without saying)

Ford: good ol’ fashioned missionary for Fordsy over here. He could give you love bites all down your body in that position for hours and probably will

Stan: doggy. He wants to pull your hair and pull your ass onto him. He’ll never get enough of watching his cock disappear inside of you, and that’s something you’ll just have to come to terms with ;)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Ford: Serious, he’s not thinking enough to joke around. He’s in a primal headspace where even if you made a joke, he’d just groan and shrug it off, getting back to work.

Stan: it depends on the vibe you’re giving off. If he feels like you’re being more playful, he’ll naturally act that way.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Ford hasn’t even thought about it; he’s clean. And yes, absolutely, he’s grey all the way. If you do mention you don’t like his body hair, it will reward you with his most embarrassed and distraught look, but he’ll trim it up without a second thought.

Stan: He knows he has a lot of hair, don’t mention it. Around his 40s, he just stopped fucking caring. He thinks it was the shoulder hair that did him in.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Ford: as intimate as you can imagine. He doesn’t just fuck Willy Nilly. He only gets into bed with someone he cares for. So there’s a lot of kissing and sweet talk from him, an ‘I love you’ every 30 seconds if you’ve said that to each other.

Stan: Again, it entirely depends on who he's with. If it’s more of a one-night stand, he’ll get a bit scared off if you’re too romantic. But if you’re together… you’re in for it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Ford: He does it to keep a straight head when he’s alone, without you, but overall, when he’s with you, he feels no need to do all that.

Stan: partook in it a lot when he was on the road, not in a way he ever did before. He did it not to think. But that was before you. When he’s away from you, he finds himself doing it while thinking about you, drifting into a fantasy where you are touching him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Ford: He hates to say it, but breeding. He can’t get enough of the primal feeling of cuming inside of you… and you don’t mind either.

Stan: cuffs. Maybe it’s all the times he’s been in them that it turns him on to be the one putting them on and deciding when they come off. (Of course, if you asked to get out, he’d do it readily)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Ford: He really quite enjoys the routine that may seem mundane to some, such as getting into bed with you each night and making love with you after a long day.

Stan: again, he doesn’t mind fucking in his car; in fact, he loves it. His seats go wayyyy back, too ;)

A/n more coming soon!

[stoutguts]

FIRST REAL POST OF 2025, HELLOOOOO

Originally posted as a thread on my NSFW Twitter—MINORS DNI!!! 🔞, KINDA KINKY GHOAP INCOMING, GHOST IN LINGERIE, ENJOY

Probably the smuttiest thing I've written thus far—

“Ah’m back..”, Soap announces just as he enters Simon’s private quarters for the night.

He had just finished up an abrupt mission, having come up earlier that morning all of the sudden. Only having just returned by late evening, he was exhausted to say the least.

Though, by the looks of it, it seems he won’t be getting any sleep tonight—

“W—Wh-Welcome back…”, Ghost greets, blushing profusely. His heterochromatic eyes are half-lidded as he speaks, his cute blonde lashes fluttering, with pupils blown wide with desire.

Licking their plush, scarred lips to wet them.

Though, the first thing Johnny notices is what it’s wearing—A full set of women’s lingerie.

All-white lace, complete with a bra and garter belt even.

The bra has lace trim, accentuating the curves of his chest and upper back. His pecs are deliciously bulging just the right amount out of it. Their pierced, hard nipples can clearly be seen. One of the lace-y straps of the bra is hanging off it’s shoulder…

The garter belt has straps hanging down on both the front and back. Clasps in place, serving to keep a pair of beautifully fitted semi-sheer thigh highs up. They have a petaled trim, and a rose-like floral pattern. His excellently built calves and thighs, are a sight to behold, especially with the muscle rippling through the soft stockings…

They’re even wearing fucking panties.

The cherry on top is the small bow that rests at the top of em’, just below the waistband. The trim highlighting the creases where it’s thighs and abdomen meet delightfully.

But most of all, Soap can tell that he’s soaked down there. The darkened parts of their underwear, are a little see through…Their cock is seemingly half-hard already, and just oh-so slightly straining against the thin material…

There’s a pillow between its thighs, Soap’s pillow, with a wet spot. He must have been rutting against it prior to him coming home…

What he would’ve given to have seen that.

Perhaps calling out his name, as they rock their hips down into the mattress…..

His own cock twitches at the sight and the thought of it all.

But, Johnny can’t help but just fucking ogle.

He’s frozen like that for a minute,—really just trying to process what he’s seeing. Taking in the beauty of it all. His eyes locked on it, staring into Simon’s soul.

“D-do ya not like it—“, Ghost nervously starts, but is almost immediately cut off.

“Of course I fockin’ like it. I think I might like it a little too much..Bloody Jesus, Simon…”, Soap corrects, now beet-red. Closing his eyes as he quickly averts his gaze. Though it isn’t long before his eyes are open again, gaze flickering between undoing his belt and the straps of his vest, and hungrily looking up at him.

He hurriedly strips off all of his remaining tac gear, shoes and socks, before rushing over to them. Left in only his boxers and dog tags, by the time he’s finished disrobing.

The moment he climbs into bed, he’s pulled into a deep and passionate kiss.

Their tongues being practically down each other’s esophaguses, spit dribbling out the corners of their mouths. Teeth clacking against one another.

“I—I wanted to surprise y-ya…”, Simon says breathily, as Johnny kisses it’s neck, and drags his tongue along the scar that wraps around it’s throat.

“Well, ye sure as hell accomplished tha’…Thought I was loosing mae mind, when I first saw ye.", Soap answers as he roughly pushes Ghost down, and pins his arms to the bed. Simon merely chuckling in response, wrapping his legs around his waist. While, Johnny continues to press kisses into their skin and tongue at the scars on their face.

“Y-ya—your lips feel so good b-baby, like butterfly wings…Your always so ge-gentle with me..”, Ghost pants heavily, as Soap only briefly releases his grip on it’s arms. Pushing up his bra and begins to worship and mouth at his tits. Ghost arching its back in response.

"I have to be...After all, yer one delicate thing aren't ye? So pure and innocent..”, Johnny says, Simon shuddering at his words. Their face practically glowing it’s so flushed.

“But what’s this?”, Soap points out, deciding to be a little mean. He releases one of it’s arms to grope Ghost’s swollen cock through it's panties, and squeezes it hard.

“Hn!—J-Johnny-ny—!“, he cries out in response to finally being touched.

“What an impatient little slut ye are…Ye wanted mae so badly,—were so gagging for it,—ye almost couldn’t wait for mae to come home, hm? Missed mae that much huh, doll?”, Johnny teases. Simon can merely whimper in response.

He tuts. “Poor thang,—so needy…Don’t worry love, I’ll take care of ye..”, Soap says, reassuringly, before he leans down to kiss Ghost again.

Simon desperate to get their mouth back on his. This kiss even sloppier and wetter then the first. Johnny brings his hands from it’s cock and left arm (which was still pinned to the bed) respectively, to it’s chest, to pinch and toy with it’s nipples. Tugging on the rings. Ghost bringing his hands up to grip onto Soap’s back.

Simon pathetically keens, muffled against Johnny’s lips. Their hips bucking up for some kind of friction, but they find none.

Soap finally breaks the kiss to bring his mouth over a nipple, rolling it between his teeth. Ghost lets out a high-pitched moan, and arches again off the bed a bit, pressing its chest further into Johnny’s mouth and hands.

Once Soap finds that his partner’s chest had been sufficiently marked, he slides his hands down Simon’s body until he finds his cock again. Kissing and tonguing his way down their stomach, thighs, and long legs. All the while, Ghost is writhing.

Johnny then pulls Simon’s panties to the side with his teeth, finally allowing its big, useless cock to spring free of its prison. Red and angry with arousal, steadily leaking pre-cum. Letting the underwear snap against his crotch, with Ghost hissing at the pain. Gasping at his hot breath tickling. Soap’s large, strong hands keeping their legs spread apart and thighs pinned down.

Johnny just takes a moment to breathe in the clean musk clinging to the soft, fuzzy golden hair of its pubes.

Bastard even took a shower, and suddenly Soap feels he's ill-prepared for this, having come home all sweaty and nasty from a mission just earlier.

Though he soons forgets about it, as he looks up at Simon, who's now looking down at him. Want, clear as day on his face. Panting and breathing open-mouthed in anticipation.

This look of desperation and yearning on their face is something he could get used to. Though he decides that they’ve waited long enough.

“Such a good boy for me, Si..”, Soap praises, nuzzling the base of its dick. Kissing and licking, before expertly taking Ghost’s entire length down his throat.

“Fuuuuuckkk~”, Simon keens, as moist heat envelops him.

Johnny sets a steady pace, bobbing up and down. Working him to full hardness quickly. Taking them so well, all the way from the tip to the base, pressing his face into their belly. Not so much as a sliver of teeth.

Pulling all of his favorite tricks, and stuff that Soap knows will drive Ghost insane. Toying with and dragging his tongue along the heavy vein on the underside,—toying with and sliding his tongue underneath the foreskin (of which is uncut).—Kissing and swirling his tongue around the head.—Tonguing at and digging into the slit at the tip,—and flicking and messing with it’s Jacob’s ladder.

"Nn-hah—J-Johnny…!”, Simon practically shouts, sweating, shaking, and drooling. With tears slipping from corners of his eyes,—tapping down onto the pillow beneath his head. “I…I—“

That’s when Johnny pulls off them immediately.

Ghost whining, like they’re fucking dying, at the loss and the cool air hitting their cock.

“Gonna cum sweetheart? Not yet doll, want ye to cum from either fingers or mae cock. Whichever comes first. An impatient little slut like ye..only gets to cum when I say so…”, Soap practically growls, lifting up and planting his hand next to it’s head to whisper that in it’s ear.

“Please…..”, Simon pathetically begs, repeating the same “please” over and over again, though his pleading for mercy falls on deaf ears. Clutching even harder onto Johnny’s waist and back with his arms and legs.

Soap does his best to lean over Ghost, and the side of the bed, to tug open the drawer of his nightstand. Snatching up the bottle of lube inside, before closing the drawer again. He quickly drizzles the lube over his fingers and rubs it in-between them, warming it. All the while, him and Simon are locked into a deep and passionate kiss.

Johnny then finds Ghost's arse, tugging one of their cheeks to the side before lathering up their hole in lube. Slowly rubbing and kneading the tense ring of muscle with his fingers, in an attempt to loosen them up a little. Simon is whining pathetically, only interrupted by it begging almost incoherently. Toes curling and uncurling in anticipation.

Soap feels like he's about to fucking explode, so he wastes no time in fingering it properly. Probing and pressing at his entrance, pumping his fingers in and out to get him used to the feeling, and stretching him out as best he can. All the while, Ghost is euphoric with pleasure.

"Hn-ahhh—nghhh~!”, a litany of different noises escape Simon’s mouth as they’re nearing climax.

“Ye close beautiful? Cum for mae baby, wanna see ya cum…”, Johnny says at a full growl this time, at the same time he finally finds his partner’s sweet spot. His voice having deepened with an even deeper arousal.

“Fuckkkkk~Johnnyyy~fuckkk~!” Ghost practically shouts as their balls drawl up in an intense orgasm. Having came untouched. It’s seed splashing onto its belly and tits.

Some of the milky strands spilling onto its bra and garter belt, staining it an off-white.

Johnny couldn't suppress a long, drawn-out groan at the sight. He would swear he almost came right then and there.

After Soap quickly rips off his boxers, discarding them on the floor, exposing his own swollen hard-on.—And with the both of them as desperate and needy as ever,—they get right on the main event.

"Ye ready doll?”, Johnny asks, panting hard, craving his own release.

“Y-yes, yes, puh-please, f-fuh—fuck, Johnny…”, Ghost replies shakily, practically brain dead, with nothing but animalistic instinct taking over.

With that, Soap begins to slowly press in, warm, wet, and tight heat slowly enveloping him. Meanwhile, Simon’s gripping onto him like a vice with his arms and legs wrapped around him like an octopus. His face buried in his shoulder, shaking like a leaf, and moaning and panting loudly despite being somewhat muffled.

Once their bodies are pressed flush against one another, Johnny immediately sets a brutal pace. Pounding into them like there’s no tomorrow. Rocking their body upwards slightly on each powerful thrust.

Rough is just the way Simon likes it. And oh boy, Ghost is fucking ruined now. It can’t even form sentences anymore, it’s completely incoherent. Completely fucked out, the pure pleasure settling over its mind like a fog. Eyes all glazed over.

Arguably Soap is just as ruined,—he can’t even hold back his own noises anymore.

It doesn’t take long before the pair are cumming harder then they ever have before. Simon practically screaming Johnny’s name as he soils himself once more. While Johnny didn’t even have the mind to pull out, cumming deep inside Ghost, and it felt like he would never stop cumming.

—

After a shower where the two helped to clean each other up, (and perhaps a bit of making out in-between shampoo and conditioner), the two conk out for the night. Alongside cuddling with entangled limbs, and with soft blankets and pillows pretty much swaddling them, they drift off to an incredibly restful and peaceful, (though short), night’s sleep.

Sorry for so many NSFW posts lately 😔 (I FEEL LIKE I’VE POSTED SO MUCH NSFW LATELY I SWEAR 😭), I promise the next post will be something wholesome.

[sturnwh0re]

— blurb of chris giving an attitude adjustment —

chris’ hips rutted harshly into yours that was for sure to leave a mark if kept up, and it dared to knock your knees down that were the only support your ass had to keep it up. Chris’ right hand was planted right above ur ass as he had you right where he wanted, doggy.

“so much for that attitude you were having huh? Now ya getting dumb fucked stupid kid.”

you were letting out incoherent babbles and whimpers as your hands gripped to his sheets for more support. You were already upcoming your 3rd orgasm of the night, and chris wasnt planning on stopping until that attitude was wiped from you.

“C-chris— pl.. fuck.. please..”

You didn’t even know what you were begging for, for him to keep jamming his tip into that gummy spot that made your body twitch, or for him to stop. Fuck, you knew you didn’t want it to stop. Your legs that were holding your hips up were becoming unstable from the relentless abuse on your cervix, creating a domino effect now affecting your legs.

Your knees had been dug into the bed god forbid it would leave a mark. Your throbbing knees started to slide down making chris’ cock slip from your swollen pussy. He instantly groaned and put your knees back up.

“Nope, don’t do that. We still gotta fix that ‘tude.”

He wasn’t careless, so instead he put his hands on either sides of your hips holding them up for him. Once he had you steady again he pushed between your folds again. You moaned as he perfectly filled your empty hole once more. He had paused thrusting for a second; which made you groan impatiently. You pushed your hips back for some sort of friction.

“Please.. just please don’t stop..! I’m—“

Your words instantly got cut off by chris switching angles, and as soon as his length dipped into your tight pussy he hit that soft spot of nerves. Once his tip kissed it, your back arched again; which made you let out the loudest noise of the night. You looked behind you to see chris smirking with amusement.

“That’s the spot pretty bird, that’s the damn spot.”

His hips slammed hard into those nerves over and over again, each time it filled you with this euphoric feeling. You felt that same knot start to build in your lower abdomen, the same one you felt earlier from your previous orgasms. You started to pant and see imaginary stars, before chris’ repeated thrusts cleared all thoughts from your brain.

“Oh— oh fu-fuck.. chris- chris im so close!”

You started to meet his hips in the middle you both were panting and sexual noises filled the room. The skin to skin, the wet noises, and just chris and his noises started to all infiltrate your mind; slowly getting you closer and closer, also why Randomized noises and squeals were getting fucked out of you continuously.

“Yeah- yeah me too, fuck..”

Before you both knew it, you both came. Chris was pushed balls deep with his tip smashed against ur cervix. He immediately filled you as he felt you clench and release around him. He tried to nudge even further inside of you to pulse his cum as deep as it could go; even though it was physically impossible for him to go any deeper. A ring of white started to form at his base in a snap.

“That’s my fucking girl, shit.”

small ropes of cum were still shooting inside of you. Your sweaty face was laid against the bed, lids heavy, and lower half absolutely fucked out. Reality slightly snapped back into you as chris pulled out. You looked back and right as his cum was about to spill from you, he plugged ur hole with his thumb.

“chris..”

You whined, unable to release his cum. He chuckled and gripped ur ass with the other free hand he had. God. Just looking back at him in that black tank with his messy hair and stupid fucking smile, sandwiched by his stubble and goaty was enough to rile you up all over again.

“What? I want ‘chu to be filled with cum, not no fuckin’ attitude.”

AN: sorry for the blurb & not a full blown fic; honestly I’m losing love for writing those long ass fan fictions and I might spend more time making good blurbs for you angels to get off to. & yeah, it’s a shitty blurb; let a girl fucking slowly get started up on writing again!!

go to my profile & give me suggestions sweets 🪄

[prettyboykatsuki]

The divide is I think Oliver would openly flirt but Sae, you’re left a little confused for a while because it seems like he never even so much as looks at you, reading the paper or a novel or doing some paperwork. You only catch him watching out of the corner of his eye ONCE, he’s very good at hiding it.

GODDDD YEAH. reference to this

oliver is tastefully flirty when he hires u. being a topless maid is a very specific kind of service so u get customers who ogle pretty often, and for the most dont entirely mind some flirtation but you rarely entertain it yourself nor do you want too. but oliver is in his late fourties, entering his fifties and he's... fun.

he is both flirty and ogling but you can also tell he has no real intention to fuck or seduce you - and you get the feeling that it's not because he couldn't. the comments are subtle and fun, but he's also an exellent conversationalist in general. he listens to your happenings no matter how small and u often find yourself talking with him more than other clients.

and you have . such strict rules about not fucking clients. you really really do. youve never fucked even one, because a lot of very attractive rich men hire you oten. its part of the gig. but god the way oliver makes u want to bend those rules.

with sae you're SO right in that he's the total opposite. you've had a couple of... shy client before but none like sae itoshi. because you can tell for sure he's not shy at all. he makes full blown eye contact and conversation with you when you come over - usually just about what needs clean and where to go should you need something.

he also asks about your schedule outside of work and generally he checks in on you. i think sae is a lot younger in this instance, like i picture him late twenties, early thirties. but aside from your very brief conversations at the beginning and end of your work - you rarely can gauge any sort of reaction to him. you work topless, yes - but you also wear pretty skimp clothes to do the work. part of the gig.

but sae just. does not react to any of it at all. you wonder if maybe this was something he's gifted to him as a gag but from what u can tell all the money comes from his check.

again, you never fuck your clients. you dont want to do that. but saes like.... total indifference and composure is just so sexy. it makes the whole situation feel so much more erotic? somehow?? because he's not paying you any mind at all and some strange, strangled part of you would really like him too.

you make an attempt once, a proper one to ... seduce him a little. you wear a shorter skirt, skimpier panties, sheerer tights. and its the one and only time you catch him giving any kind of look at all. you purposely go in front of him to dust off one of his shelves, get up on your tiptoes for it and when you turn your head - he gives you the most subtle glance ever. it makes you shiver.

worse? he gives you a glance too, a proper but brief look in the eye as if he knows your game and just. keeps on with his work. lit makes u crazy.

[oknowkiss]

yes yes YES to everything GT said above. if yall want a fic you can really chew on, a fic that's gonna get in your teeth and STAY THERE but you're not even bothered bc actually you love the feeling of being slightly uncomfortable, this one is for you. note that i say "slightly uncomfortable" with the HIGHEST OF PRAISE.

this story does so many things so unbelievably, ungodly well but i'd be remiss not to start out with the level to which it COMMITS. absolutely read the tags and also, trust that they say what they mean and they mean what they say. no one is mealymouthed here. i always include some of my more challenging likes on request forms for fests like these but i never really expect them to be fulfilled, and for good reason. but @jtimu saw them, said saw into the very core of me, and went full fucking force. by GOD did it pay off.

i can't say much about either this harry or draco without spoiling the story, so i'm gonna be somewhat vague, but i'm not joking when i say i don't think i've ever read a draco like this before. there are familiar tropes here to start you off (hinny that's run its course, a harry who can't help himself, draco minding his business but giving in to harry's attentions because he can't help himself either, at the end of the day) but @jtimu takes those starting points and twists them into something crunchy and fascinating. harry is subby but persistent in a way that feels very true to character. draco sees an opportunity to gain advantage and takes it, but then the story unfolds around him and his motivations in a way that will leave you breathless. i could go on and i honestly may come back with more thoughts later but for now i'll just say, please. if you can. take a chance on this one. i was truly blown away. the juice is 100000% worth the squeeze.

Erised claim: Seven-and-Sixpence

Drarry | E | 35k

It took about twenty minutes for me to abandon my convictions and sign up for Erised, and it has been a wild six months since then.

I took one look at the darker end of @oknowkiss's wants list and said infidelity and open endings? Bet. Let's throw in some statuary metaphor and a blindingly opaque Draco along the way. Let's make people hate it, and him, and let it hurt.

I did not think people were going to like this fic, and boy was I right (there is a whole separate essay here about how freeing that experience was). However, if you're in the mood for the slip slide of a relationship devolving and the teeter totter loss of the life you thought you deserved, maybe this one is for you.