#and then in the last few months I’ve tried to be less rash and open myself up to the idea

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

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[sleephyjhs]

When You’re Expecting (Taehyung Headcanon)

pairing: taehyung x pregnant!reader

warnings: mention of fertility & pregnancy complications

note: i’ve been craving to write a bts x pregnancy series for a while so here we go !! if there’s a specific member you’d like to see next, shoot me an ask :)

m.list

FINDING OUT

even before finding out you were pregnant, you both had so much love for your child

there was nothing either of you could have wanted more than a baby

it was always at the forefront of your mind how much you wanted a little human of your own

it was approaching a year since you began trying seriously

a few false hopes and two miscarriages later, fertility drugs were looking to improve the chances of conceiving

the raging hormones which came with the drugs were all worth the positive test

early september - sickness had hung around your throat for days

headaches lasted longer than usual, and crying at the most mundane things had become an unwelcome habit

in the bathroom cabinet, you’d collected a small stockpile of electronic and stick pregnancy tests

one of them would eventually show positive, right?

taehyung sat on the bathroom tiles with you

waiting two minutes felt closer to waiting two months

he crossed his legs, bouncing his knees impatiently

your knees came to your chin; high hopes weighed heavily on your heart

the alarm set on his phone beeped quietly

your heartbeat rose suddenly to your throat

taehyung reached out for your hand as you turned to read the results

two blue lines - as clear as day

they became less clear as your eyes coated with thick, salty tears

he began to chuckle as his happiness trickled down his cheeks

“we did it baby! we’re gonna have a baby!” he whispered, choked up by his own anticipation

no words were left swirling in your mind

your jaw hung open as though the hinges were faulty

shakily, you lifted the electronic test to triple check

pregnant.

as you crashed into taehyung’s open arms, memories of the past loomed in your mind

it was only inevitable

a positive test was a familiar joy to you both

however this familiar joy had only ever been followed by crippling devastation

as much as you tried not to think about it, you couldn’t help but retain maternal caution

however, this time also felt different

taehyung’s spirit, your spirit - it was as though fate didn’t want to disappoint you any more

someone out there decided it was finally your time to grow a mini human to bring into the world

of course, no time was wasted in contacting the maternity clinic

seeing your baby on a screen was now a top priority

just to see their little head, maybe even hear their heartbeat

just to know they were okay

just to know you were keeping them cosy and safe, that’s all you needed

taehyung couldn’t hold his excitement

from leaving the house to reaching the hospital, his toothy grin never wiped from his cheeks

he never said anything at the time since his main focus was always on comforting you

but losing his babies near enough tore him apart

even when you tried to comfort him, taehyung restricted himself just to protect your wellbeing

of course, the worse had already crossed his mind

but it wouldn’t get the better of him

it couldn’t.

you soon learned you were already 6 weeks pregnant

the midwife had to point out where your little baby was hanging out; they were such a tiny thing after all

briefly, you took the opportunity to hear their heartbeat

it was faint over the machine, but fast

there really was a life within you.

“there’s something else, if you just look over here...” the midwife prompted, turning the monitor so you could grasp a better view

taehyung leaned slightly over your chest to peer closely at the smaller monochrome screen

with the mouse, she circled a second bean shaped figure

“the fertility drugs increase the chance of twins. looks like you guys got lucky!”

twins. you were having twins.

THE PREGNANCY

like with most pregnancies, you were advised to wait until the 12 week milestone to begin announcing your impending delivery

and even though he understood the importance of patience right now, taehyung could hardly contain his excitement

it didn’t help that a little bump had already begun to grow

keeping a secret was much more difficult when the evidence was near impossible to hide

already, taehyung spent early mornings talking to his little angels

telling them stories he seemingly made up on the spot

or even borrowing some from his own childhood

“you know they can’t hear you yet? it’s about 7 weeks until they’ll be able to, honey.”

“i know, i’m just practising for when they can.”

of course, you wouldn’t admit that you did the same when you were alone

you attended more midwife appointments than other expectant mothers might

the pair of you much preferred being on the safer side

in the car, when on a quieter, less congested road, taehyung often reached over to cradle your still-growing bump with a free hand

you slotted your fingertips between his for additional sappiness

“you two have so many people waiting for you here, hmm? many people are already so in love with you both. me and mummy included.”

on a sleepless night, you’d made a small pact with tae

it was a rash decision, but sincere nonetheless

“no matter what, they are always going to know how wanted they were. always.”

taehyung hardly needed reminding of this, but it was still a weight off your shoulders

as you tried to conceive, the pregnancy diet had already been implemented into your daily routines

however now that you were carrying two precious babies, there really would be no more ‘cheat’ days for you

no more extra half cups of coffee on slower mornings

although you usually took over the role of head chef in the house, taehyung dedicated extra effort into preparing you both healthy and yummy foods

sautéd rice with green vegetables and lean meat/tofu appeared to be his go-to

but you still opted to supervise just in case

finally being able to announce your pregnancy was another heavy weight lifted from your mind

the other members were over the moon for you both

particularly when they reminded themselves of the struggles you had experienced previously

and also remembering the utter devastation of their taehyung when he had to break it to them

all of them kept their eye out for little gifts and outfits

each week, taehyung came home with a new stack of pale rompers or neutral-tones teething toys

these babies would have the best uncles; at least that much you could be certain of

announcing your pregnancy on social media was a looming task, but one he was determined to pull off perfectly

for filler content between schedules, the members had been asked to film a 5 minute vlog of their daily life

well, what a perfect opportunity!

towards the end, taehyung made sure to include some shots of your now protruding bump overlaid with some more vintage camera settings

safe to say, that day you had broken the internet

love, congratulations and blessings poured in from every corner of the earth

a few comments complimenting how much pregnancy suited you touched you especially

self image is commonly effected by the progression of pregnancy, and you were no exception to that

although it was amazing how your body grew and made a little home for your tiny babies, it was still quite strange to see yourself changing so quickly

your favourite clothes didn’t fit around your doubled bump anymore

and your skin seemed to hate sharing nutrients with two extra people

but for the days where you struggled to love yourself, taehyung easily filled in the gaps for you

sneaking up behind you in the bathroom

(although the mirror kinda gave him away)

he’d wrap his arms around your just-moisturised bump and carefully rest his chin on your shoulder

“tell me all your worries honey.”

you gushed over how much you missed wearing your favourite jackets

and how strange it was to look at yourself in such a new and confusing way

“i know it’s normal, and i know i have to do it for them. but i guess it’s just weird - i don’t look like myself anymore”

he sighed and planted a kiss on a spot of bare skin

those small kisses still tickled you like they always had

“well, you definitely look different,”

you really hoped there was a second part to that sentence, mostly for tae’s own good

“but why does that have to be bad? not gonna lie, it actually kinda makes you hotter. maybe we should make babies more often!”

“make~?”

LABOUR AND DELIVERY

originally, you had wanted to try and stick to the natural route for as long as you could

but after a few contractions, that idea was immediately out of the window

to help steady yourself and wait out the pain, you held onto the kitchen island and swayed to your own pace

eventually, taehyung joined you

copying the same movements while timing your contractions

“they really must be desperate to come out, huh?”

“well do you think they could hurry it up a bit?!”

the pair of you had been prepared for this for over a month

the hospital bag was ready by the door with all of your essentials packed tightly inside

not forgetting the pots of instant ramen taehyung insisted he must bring in case of an emergency

just as he was readying to back out of the driveway, taehyung took a mental stock check of everything packed in the back

“do you think we have everything?”

“i love you but stop talking please.”

thankfully, he understood well that the sheer pain made you cranky

so long as he assured himself that it was ‘just the contractions’, he’d be just fine

as much as he couldn’t wait to announce he was about to become a father to everyone, he kept himself grounded when walking you to the maternity ward

one corridor in and you’d suggested that a wheelchair might be a better mode of transport

breathlessness and contractions didn’t sound like a favourable mix to you

the assessment of your fast dilation granted you an immediate spot in the labour ward

you’d picked this suite specially due to its expansive space

the option of a birthing pool was still available if you so needed it, but the mood lighting and access to aromatherapy was what attracted you to the room in the first place

a serene paradise for your angels to be born into

it was perfect

taehyung explored while you adjusted to your new surroundings

of course, it didn’t take him long to find the birthing ball

“what’s the difference between a yoga ball and a birthing ball?”

there obviously was none, but you took a few seconds to try and be smart with him

“well, sit on that and you might have a baby the size of a watermelon come out of you soon.”

taehyung cradled his torso and pulled a shocked expression, which was enough to make you giggle and cause another contraction

less than a few hours passed, and you had already attempted to scream the building down once or twice

“get these babies out of me. no i’m serious, i need them out.”

realising your deadpan expression, taehyung soon attended to you at the head of your bed

stroking your slightly sweaty head and patting a ice cold flannel on your clammy forehead

he braced himself for a crushing hand grip which came about sooner than he’d prepared for

you weren’t the biggest fan of commotion, and so being surrounded by nurses and doctors was close to being your worst nightmare

taehyung focused his voice into your ear, trying to minimise the tension coming from below your pelvis

his motivational words were broken up by short bursts of pushes

many of which were followed by a string of curse words which just slipped out

and then, there it was.

the first piercing cry belted across the room

a tear or two may have happened to slip from your eyes

finally the moment you’d waited for, nearly two years in the making, was here

the first of two, a little girl who already had a head full of the most luscious black hair

taehyung wanted to hold back his happy tears in order to show some kind of strength

but you and him both knew he’d never hold it back for long

within the space of 4 minutes, the second baby was born into the world.

but this time, there was no immediate cry

the whole world seemed to slow down in that moment as you waited

and waited

midwifes gathered around the new infant, looking for any kind of obstruction

but, soon enough, your son said his first hello to the world

[ao3komorii]

Truth in Darkness (Zed/Reader)

Saving uploading my Sett story for last since it’s in 2 parts, so Zed is up next! I really like the Zed comic, so this oneshot is set in the canon of the comic. I tried to make everything able to be understood without reading the comic, but I do recommend it because it’s a great comic. Also just to set expectations if the only thing you know about Zed is him in-game, he’s a lot less edgy in the comic. Also, smut at the end.

----

It was hard to remember your life before you came to Thanjuul Monastery at the age of six. You could vaguely remember your parents taking you to a festival, and your mother braiding your hair. But you couldn’t remember what their faces looked like, or what their voices sounded like. It almost felt like you had spent your whole life within the monastery walls.

You had known that your parents would go away sometimes, leaving you to stay at a neighbor’s house. That, and any other familiar routine in your life was not meant to last, shattered by the man in blue that had come to knock on your neighbor’s door to inform them that your parents had gotten in an accident. You would later find out that they had been slaughtered by a demon while on a mission.

Your parents had been members of the Kinkou Order; tasked with maintaining the balance between the spirit and natural worlds. They had kept you away from their work, which had only made it worse for you when you were forced to leave your home behind to be taken to the monastery that would become your new home.

Your first few days at the monastery you had done nothing but cry. You had lost all sense of home and familiarity, and had only been taken in by the Kinkou out of obligation to your parents. You were not particularly wanted, or welcome.

You quickly became desperate to be useful, not wanting to be discarded again. You eagerly took any job that was sent your way, often sweeping floors and washing laundry to earn your keep.

You admired the members of the Order, clad in blue robes, as they sought to maintain balance in the world. The more chores you did, the more you idolized those who lived the life you could only dream of. At night, tired from the day’s work, you would dream about becoming an official member of the Kinkou, but you knew that Master Kusho, the leader of the Kinkou and current Eye of Twilight, had the final say.

Master Kusho led the Order efficiently, and had a lot of sway in regards to new members. You had seen him around the monastery, but had never talked to him. You had seen him training his son Shen, enviously wishing for the same opportunity. But as the years went by, you had yet to speak one word to Master Kusho, let alone receive any training from him.

By the age of fourteen, you had resigned yourself to doing chores in the day and training by yourself at night, hoping that you would eventually get a chance to prove yourself to a master. But all your secret training got you was stinging cuts that burned the next day when you scrubbed the floors. Nobody would give a poor orphaned servant girl the chance to prove herself.

You had trudged back to your room one day, too tired to go and train after sweeping the entire grounds of the monastery, when you heard the sounds of a fight. You crept back into the hallway, peering out to see two boys your age sparring. You immediately recognized the figure of Master Kusho’s son as he kicked forward, but his opponent was another story.

You craned your neck, trying to get a good look at the face of the silver-haired boy as he tried to block Shen’s attacks. Only when he fell did you recognize him at last; you had seen the boy before, washing dishes in the kitchen as you had gone to deliver a scroll to the cook. You had made brief eye contact with him then, but neither of you had said a word. You knew that the cook wouldn’t have permitted it anyways; you had once witnessed him chewing out a young servant girl for breathing too loudly and weren’t willing to do anything to gain his ire.

You had thought that he was a mere servant like you, but here he was, training with the son of the leader of the Kinkou. You went to bed with hope in your heart that it would be your turn to be noticed next. That you would be able to serve the Kinkou’s cause just as your parents had.

But the next day passed with no offers of training. And then the next day. By the time that a week had passed with no changes to your life, you had cried yourself to sleep for the first time since you were a child.

But the next morning, you wiped away your tears, your resolve hardened. There was nothing you could do but double down on your own training. You had no way of knowing if or when an offer would come your way, but you intended to be worthy of being a master’s student.

You began to hear whispers around the monastery of the new student that Master Kusho had taken on and began to train alongside his own son. You watched as Master Kusho would take the two boys with him on missions, and train them when they were on monastery grounds. You especially liked watching the two boys spar, trying to emulate their moves in your own solo training.

You had to admit that training by yourself was not as effective as if you had a master. You stared at the tree you had been practicing on, breathing heavily. You knew that you would never get better with a tree as an opponent; unruly spirits wouldn’t stand still and wait for you to take them down. A real opponent would require you to adapt your moves and strategies on the fly, which seemed almost unfathomable to you at your current skill level.

You had been staring at a whorl in the tree, lost in thought, when you were startled by the rustling of a bush near you. Turning sharply around, you clasped your hands in front of your chest as your mind spun with potential excuses for why you had been out here. It wasn’t technically against the rules for you to train without a master, but the Kinkou lived by a strict code, and you would be devastated if this was used as a reason to kick you out of the monastery.

Your hastily-prepared excuses died on your lips as you met eyes with the boy with the short silver hair that you had watched train for months now. You both stared at each other as you tried to think of something to say, but the boy broke the silence first.

“I’ve seen you before,” he said, almost seeming startled by his own words as he hastily continued on. “You’re a servant at the monastery.”

The word servant clung to your skin like a rash, and you looked down in shame at the reminder of your position. No matter what you did, you would be nothing but a lowly servant to the Kinkou.

Ashamed and embarrassed, you kept your head down as you tried to walk by him, but were stopped in your tracks by his voice.

“Wait!”

You looked back at him, and were surprised to see resolve in his face as he stared intently at you. You looked at him in confused silence for a long moment before he snapped out of it and spoke up again.

“Your kicks are too low.”

How long had he been standing in the brush for? You froze up, feeling self-conscious about the results of all of your training.

The boy offered you a shy smile. “I can help you if you want.”

“What?”

He gestured with his head towards the open space that you had been practicing in. He walked over to stand in front of the tree you had been practicing your moves on with you reluctantly following behind him.

He nodded at you before facing the tree again, taking a moment to position himself before kicking forward, his foot gently impacting the bark of the tree. Turning back to you, he motioned you forward.

“You need to position your leg higher,” he said, lifting his own leg momentarily to demonstrate his point. “When you aim so low, your kick will have much less power.”

“Oh… I never knew that,” you replied softly.

“I can help you train,” the boy offered, and you stared at him in shock.

“You don’t have to…” you trailed off, not wanting to impose on him, not when he probably had better things to do than teach a hopeless servant girl how to fight.

“You don’t have a master,” he said with a frown. “I’m nowhere near as skilled as my master, but I was just like you before he took me as an apprentice. Let me help you.”

“I…” Your desire to improve yourself was battling with your learned shyness from years of being invisible to those at the monastery. You wanted desperately to accept his offer of help, and finally allowed yourself to be convinced as you observed the earnestness in his eyes. “…okay.”

The boy smiled, and you found yourself smiling back at him. In the whole time that you had been here, you had never had someone be so nice to you. It was an odd feeling, but a pleasant one.

The boy reached a hand out towards you, and you stared at it for a moment before taking it into your own.

“My name is Govos.”

Shyly telling him your own name in return, you rejoiced internally at finally grasping a chance to become good enough to be a true member of the Kinkou.

You still did all your chores, but now you had something to look forward to. Govos still had his own training to do, and would frequently leave the monastery with Shen and Master Kusho on missions, but he made time to train with you whenever he could. His kindness had brought color into your world at last, and you quickly began to see improvement in your combat prowess.

Govos would tell you about his experiences outside of the monastery, about bringing supplies to villages and soothing troubled natural spirits. The more you heard from him, the more you wanted to be out there in the world, serving the Kinkou Order in a more significant way. But at the same time, you knew that you weren’t good enough yet, and you didn’t want to appeal to a master and get rejected.

So you dedicated yourself to training, whether with Govos or by yourself. You found yourself more often than not waiting near the entrance to the monastery when you knew Govos would be returning, relaxing only when you saw his face. You tried not to worry while he was gone, but you knew that deep down, you were afraid that he would leave and not return like your parents had.

You had been busy with the laundry when the air at the monastery suddenly grew tense. Your stomach burst out in knots as you heard the hushed voices while you went about delivering laundry.

“…so many dead…”

“…the golden demon…”

What had happened? Who had died? You had yet to see Govos, Shen, or even Master Kusho. You worried the entire day, scared that you had lost your only friend. You had been making small mistakes all day, so you had ended up finishing your work way later than usual. By that point, the sun had gone down with no sign of Govos returning, and you were so overcome with worry that you now found yourself sitting in the grass near the monastery entrance. You tried to pretend that you were just meditating, but you couldn’t fool yourself. You would probably stay here all night waiting for Govos to return.

The longer into the night that you stared at the arches that denoted the entrance of the monastery, the more blurry they started to look. You desperately tried to stay awake, but your mental stress throughout the day had tired you out more than you cared to admit, and soon keeping your eyes open was a challenge that you couldn’t overcome.

You didn’t realize that you had fallen asleep until you were gently prodded awake, the light beyond your eyelids telling you it was now morning. Opening your eyes, you saw Govos right in front of you, looking concerned. As soon as he noticed you were awake, his face relaxed.

“You’re back…” you murmured sleepily, a relieved smile coming to your lips.

“Were you here all night waiting?” he asked.

You sat up straighter, your back sore from sleeping against a tree all night. “I heard people saying there were deaths… I didn’t know…” you trailed off, feeling embarrassed that you had worried over nothing.

“There were deaths,” Govos confirmed solemnly. “We came upon a town on fire. There were so many wounded. My master said it was the work of the golden demon.”

“The golden demon…” you echoed as your gaze was drawn down to his collar, where a distinctive pendant hung on a simple cord.

Govos looked down at what you were looking at before looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Master Kusho gave it to me after we took care of the surviving villagers. He said… he said that I was worthy of being the next Eye of Twilight. He gave me a new name, one befitting a Kinkou.”

You gasped in amazement; when you had first come across Govos, you had been jealous of the opportunities he had been given. But as the time went by and you had gotten closer, your jealousy had morphed into admiration. Now you just felt proud to have such a talented person as your friend.

“A new name?” you probed curiously.

“Usan,” he answered with a small smile.

“Usan,” you repeated, largely to yourself. “It fits you.”

After the appearance of the golden demon, your world began to shift rapidly. Usan was gone way more frequently, chasing after the demon alongside Shen and Master Kusho. Every time they came back, they got more and more frustrated with each failure to capture the creature. It was hard for you to remember the last time you had seen Usan smile. You couldn’t imagine the horrors he had seen chasing the trail of the murderous beast, but all you knew now was that you were slowly losing your friend to his seemingly-unending quest.

You had no choice but to accept your relationship with Usan for what it was, accepting whatever level of contact that he offered. You found yourself going back to that tree in the forest like you used to for training when Usan was gone. You would have preferred to train with him, but the skills you had learned from him over the years served you well. You knew that you could never have come this far on your own. You would improve your skills until you were at a level where a master could not refuse to take you on.

It was years of work, frustration, and many deaths before the golden demon was captured. You almost couldn’t believe it when Usan told you that the demon they had been chasing was not a demon, but a man. Khada Jhin was a monster in human form, and great care was taken to lock him securely away from society, in a location only known by Master Kusho and his two students.

You were relieved that the monster was caught, but Usan was not satisfied.

“He shouldn’t have been taken alive,” Usan spoke bitterly during your first training session together after Jhin’s capture. “If he ever escapes…”

“He shouldn’t,” you replied softly, as you handed him one of the wooden daggers you used to train with. “Only you three know where he’s imprisoned.”

You didn’t want to say more and further spoil your precious time with Usan, so neither of you brought up the doctrine of the Kinkou. The Kinkou Order existed to preserve the balance between man and spirit. Sometimes it was necessary to end a spirit’s life to end their pain, but Jhin was no spirit, nor demon. He was human, and it was not the Kinkou way to be the judge nor executioner of man.

You admitted silently that you were also unsatisfied with the humane capture of someone who had taken so many lives, but you had no say and no power. You didn’t even have a master. The Kinkou Order would not change its long-held rules just because you disagreed with them. You would be foolish to even try.

The Kinkou was all you had, which was another factor in your reluctant acceptance of the code. Without this place, you would have had nothing and nobody. If they had not taken you in, you may not have survived. Now you could only hope that you would eventually have the chance to join their cause.

But as you devoted yourself more to the Kinkou, Usan drifted farther away. Your talks of his differing ideals happened more and more frequently. You could tell he was getting closer to the edge every day, but what lay over that edge you did not know.

You had fully grown up in the temple, now almost twenty-four years old. You had lived at the temple for nearly seventeen years now, and still had little to show for it.

The world was in chaos like nothing before. Noxus was restless, hungry for war, and had begun to make strikes against cities on the Ionian coast. It would not take long before their armies would march onward, and the battle would be at your front door.

But Master Kusho would not compromise the Kinkou doctrine. The war was not the concern of the Kinkou. Disputes between men must be solved by men, not Kinkou, as the code demanded.

The added tensions in Ionia from the Noxian invaders had been having unfortunate effects on the spirit world as well, many more spirits than usual becoming restless and demon attacks increasing. The Kinkou were busy, and you never thought that number would include you until you found yourself standing before a master who had stopped you while you were sweeping floors.

“You have been here a long time,” he remarked, and you nodded politely.

Other than Usan, nobody talked to you much, so this was highly unusual. You were on edge, unsure of what to say to this man that had acknowledged your existence out of nowhere. You stayed deathly silent, afraid that even breathing too loudly would cause him to send you away.

“You serve the Kinkou, yet have no master?” he asked, and you shook your head. “I have need of an apprentice. I am getting older, and the spirits are no less calm, not with war on the horizon.”

“You want me?” you said shakily, desperately hoping that you weren’t dreaming.

“Master Kusho has advised me that you would be a capable apprentice,” he added. “His son has talked quite highly of your skills.”

Shen had talked to his father about you? But you had never sparred with Shen… all of your training was done in the forest, away from prying eyes. But this was what you had wanted, happening at last. You could think about what had led up to this later.

“I would be honored to be your student!” you answered with a low bow.

Your new master let you go with your promise to meet him the next morning to go out on your very first mission. You tried not to skip away with how excited you were, knowing your master’s eyes were on your back as you walked away.

It almost didn’t feel real. You had wanted to be a true member of the Kinkou for so long that it was hard to believe that this was really happening. You fast-walked around the monastery, looking for the head of silver hair that belonged to your closest friend. You had almost given up on finding him when you saw Usan enter through the monastery gates.

You rushed over to him, failing to notice his dour mood in your excitement. He seemed surprised by your abrupt approach, staring silently at you as he waited for you to speak first.

“Usan, it happened!” you exclaimed. “A master asked me to be his student! I’m finally a true Kinkou!”

His face darkened immediately, leaving you confused. You really thought he would be happy for you. Why was he acting like this?

“…Usan?”

He let out a short breath, looking away from you for a brief moment before meeting your worried gaze with an anger in his eyes that you didn’t understand.

“I’m leaving the Kinkou.”

“What?” Your body felt numb and cold, like your soul had left your body. You had finally joined him as a member of the Kinkou Order and he was… leaving?

“In the temple, there is a box… the Tears of the Shadow,” he said, leaving you no less confused. You knew that the Kinkou kept many artifacts within the catacombs of the temple, but you had never heard of that one.

“The shadow magic in that box… it has the power to change the tide of this war. To drive back the Noxian invaders.”

You began to get a sinking feeling in your stomach that you knew how his story would end, and you were not made to wait for long.

“We have the means to stop the Noxians and end this war, but Kusho insists that any action from the Kinkou would corrupt the balance of the scales.”

You noticed that he didn’t refer to Kusho as master, but said nothing.

“He may not care if the people of Ionia die, but I do!” Usan growled angrily. “The ideals of the Kinkou are flawed, and all of Ionia will die if nothing changes. I have no choice but to leave the Order.”

“Usan, please –” you appealed desperately, grasping his sleeve, terrified to lose him.

Your vision was blurring as tears collected in your eyes, and you saw Usan’s angry eyes soften for a moment before he shook off your grip.

“I’m sorry.”

And then he left, and you sank down to the ground, unable to do anything but weep for your lost friend, and yet unable to muster the will to follow him. You didn’t have his courage; the Kinkou were all you had. You would be lost without them.

You had finally achieved your dream, and just wanted Usan to congratulate you, to make him proud… you had never imagined this would happen. You had achieved the dream you had dedicated your life to, but had lost the person you cared about more than anything. Your happiness had fled with Usan’s retreating figure, leaving you numb.

Eventually, there was a hand on your shoulder. You looked up with sore eyes to see Shen, his expression painted with sadness.

“Usan has left,” he said, and you shut your eyes as another sob left your mouth.

Shen helped you to your feet, supporting your stumbling weight as he led you through the monastery grounds and to his room. Closing the door behind you, he set about preparing some tea while you tried your best to stop crying.

Shen handed you a cup of tea, and you tried to keep your hands from shaking, holding the cup with two hands to keep it steady. Shen drank from his own cup, staying silent and giving you the time to compose your thoughts. Staring at his face, one thought rose to your lips before any other.

“Why did you tell your father I was skilled?”

You had to know. Even though in your heart, you knew that this was partly because you were desperate to talk about anything other than Usan’s departure from the Kinkou and from your life. If Shen noticed your switch of topic, he did not mention it.

“I have seen you train with Usan in the woods,” he replied softly. “You have been at the monastery for so long, and you possess too much skill to remain a servant when you have the ability to be more.”

“I never knew that you saw us…” you trailed off.

Shen was looking in your direction, but didn’t seem to be looking at you. “You remind me of how Usan used to be.”

You had thought that hearing his name would hurt, but the soft nostalgia in Shen’s voice just made you want to hear more. You wanted to know more about Usan from someone who had been by his side through things that you hadn’t, desperate to feel that Usan was still here with you, even just through your memories of him.

Shen seemed willing to reminisce with you, telling you stories of their travels with his father until late in the night. You were very engaged in his stories, but eventually your droopy eyelids won and you were unable to stay awake any longer.

You woke up the next morning in your own room. It seemed that Shen had carried you there after you had fallen asleep in his room.

Getting out of bed, you realized that you didn’t feel as bad as you thought that you would. Shen’s stories of the past had soothed your troubled heart. You still felt sad at the loss of Usan, but Shen’s kindness had made it a little easier to get up and face your day.

You were grateful for the mission with your new master, as it was an opportunity to further your skills, and it didn’t hurt that you were desperate to throw yourself into anything that would help you to forget the events of yesterday.

It hardly felt real as you left the grounds with your new master to deal with a troubled spirit south of the monastery. While you had trained your body over the years, you had very little exposure to the magic of the Kinkou. Training in Kinkou magic could only be passed down formally from master to student, and you threw yourself into the experience, eager to learn whatever your new master was willing to teach you.

The missions became more frequent as your skills advanced, and while your master was quiet, he seemed to be pleased with your progress. His actions spoke louder than words, the first time he let you take the lead on soothing a restless spirit showing you just how much he believed in your abilities.

Even back at the monastery, you didn’t allow yourself to spend too much time thinking about Usan. Shen was more than happy to spar with you, and now that you were an apprentice, you were able to train on the monastery grounds, no longer having to hide away in the forest to train in secret. You would be forever grateful to Shen; without him, you would have collapsed upon yourself with grief. You still had nights that you would dream of Usan, or times when you would see things and be reminded of him, but you could survive without his presence in your life.

It had been about a year since you had seen Usan. He hadn’t come back or even sent a single letter. You tried not to let it bother you, but deep down, you worried for your friend.

Ionia was in a state of constant turmoil. The Noxian invaders were ruthless, and could not be stopped. They had pushed beyond the shores of the island and marched forward, leaving death and destruction in their wake. Noxus was not a place of mercy, and thus far, any efforts to combat their invasion had been met with ferocious violence. Ionia was losing the war; that was an undeniable fact.

Your heart hurt more every time you heard further news of the casualties mounting higher, of the villages torched as the Noxian armies ravaged the land you had called home your whole life. But no matter how much you wanted to do something, you couldn’t. It was your duty to protect the balance between man and spirit. If you tried to interfere with the war, you would no longer be worthy to be Kinkou. You had to remember that the cause you were tasked with was more important, even as your heart wavered. You had made your choice, and you were too scared to throw away everything you had worked so hard for.

“It was incredible, Shen!” you told your friend the day after you had returned from a mission to solve a conflict between a water spirit and a nearby village. “I never knew how many types of spirits there are out there.”

Shen nodded, expression flat, but you knew him well enough to know that this was just how he was normally. Chasing Khada Jhin had changed him just as it had changed Usan. The playful and happy boy you had seen around the monastery when you were younger had become somber and serious as he fulfilled his Kinkou duties. With Usan gone, he would follow his father’s path and become the next Eye of Twilight. But neither of you had anticipated that Shen’s succession would come so soon, or so tragically.

You were both surprised by a young assistant’s cries for help as he ran towards you. A heavy seriousness overtook the atmosphere around you as the boy, crying and stumbling, made his way to you. You were at a loss for words, unsure of what could have caused the boy to act like he was fleeing for his life.

Shen stepped forward first to meet the boy. “Yushin, what has happened?”

Yushin sniffled loudly, wiping a hand across his eyes as he tried desperately to calm himself down. “Master Kusho, he… he…”

Your blood felt frozen in your veins; had something happened to Master Kusho? You quickly made your way to Shen’s side.

“It’s okay,” you consoled the boy as you leaned down towards him. “Just tell us what’s going on.”

Yushin nodded, swallowing nervously before speaking. “Mister Usan came to the temple. He wanted the shadow magic box, but Master Kusho said no.”

You had a bad feeling about where this story was going, but you didn’t dare interrupt, Shen staying deathly silent as well, his hands clenched tightly into fists.

“Master Kusho went to stop him and he… he killed Master!” Yushin wailed. “Some of the other masters are fighting them, but they’re so strong…”

Shen wasted not a second more, sprinting towards the temple at the top of the mountain. With one rushed nod to the boy, you followed right after Shen, hoping that you wouldn’t be too late.

You had hoped to see Usan again, but couldn’t have dreamed that it would be under these circumstances. You knew that Usan had wanted the Kinkou’s secret magic to be used against the invading Noxians; he had told you as much the last time you had seen him. But to kill Master Kusho in order to take the Tears of the Shadow… this new image of Usan was so different from the man you knew that you were having a hard time believing that what Yushin was saying was true.

But the scene at the temple extinguished any hope you had left in your heart. People were running down the stairs, fleeing for their lives, while others fought against men in grey and red outfits, grey masks concealing their faces. Looking at the masked men, you wondered if one of them was Usan.

But looking at the steps leading up to the temple, you realized that you had bigger problems. Masters and apprentices alike were fleeing, but not everyone was so lucky. Bodies dotted the stairs of those who had tried to fight and failed, and had lost their lives for their efforts.

You rushed to your fallen comrades, hoping to find someone still alive. Finding no pulse, you were forced to move onto the next person as fighting still raged on all around you. Just as you were feeling almost too despondent to go on, you finally found a pulse on the fifth person you had approached, one of the older apprentices that you vaguely remembered seeing around before. You immediately tapped into your magic, a soft yellow glow engulfing your hands as you began working to save this man’s life.

You didn’t know where Shen was, or what he was doing. You hoped that he would be okay, but you couldn’t look away from the man in front of you, afraid that any break in your concentration would result in this man losing his life. Shen would be okay, you knew he would.

Eventually, the sounds of fighting dulled as you worked, sweat breaking out on your arms and face from the physical and mental stress that you were under. After what felt like an eternity, your work finally paid off; the man’s wound had closed at last, and even though he had lost a lot of blood, he would pull through.

As soon as you pulled your hands back, it felt like the flow of time had started again. Your exhaustion caught up with you immediately and you nearly collapsed on the spot, breathing heavily from the energy you had exerted, leaving you feeling boneless.

Looking around, you felt like you had found yourself in the pits of hell. The stairs were peppered with bodies, the blood of the victims running down the stairs and staining them red. Sorrow was heavy in the air, the survivors still in disbelief.

The Kinkou had not been decimated; the loss of life, while sad, was not as great as it could have been. It looked like those who had run were not pursued, but those who had fought Usan and his men had been killed. They had come here for the box of ancient shadow magic, and had taken out anyone who stood in the way of their objective.

You were unsure of what to do next. Those who had lived were long gone, and with how much time and energy you had spent healing the one man, you knew that you would be of little use in recovering the stolen Kinkou artifact. You weren’t even fully confident in your ability to stand with how exhausted you were.

You didn’t know how long you kneeled beside the unconscious man, but you were startled into awareness by a hand on your shoulder. Craning your neck to look up, you saw the face of a man with short brown hair who you recognized as a member of the Order.

“He’s okay,” you said softly, looking down at the unconscious man’s bloody clothing. “I was able to heal him in time.”

“I will bring him back to the monastery,” the man replied, voice almost frighteningly steady. “You should go and rest.”

You looked back up at him in shock. “But the shadow magic… don’t we have to go get it back?”

He shook his head sternly. “That is not our decision to make. With Kusho dead, the duties of the Eye of Twilight fall to Shen now. For now, we must regroup and recover our strength, and then we will listen to Shen’s decision.”

Staring back down at your hands, you nodded. Reality was setting in on you at last; the leader of the Kinkou was dead, killed by the man you had once called your closest friend. And even if you wanted to, you did not possess the strength nor the skill to chase Usan and his men down. You weren’t even sure if you had the energy to walk down the long flight of stairs that led back down to the monastery.

Knowing your short conversation was done, the man picked up the unconscious man before you and then began to head down the stairs. You watched his back for a short moment before heaving yourself to your feet and beginning to stagger your way down the stairs.

You walked by the blood, by the bodies that still lay on the stairs, their spirits already long gone. You could only hope that they hadn’t suffered too greatly in their last moments. You forced yourself onwards; it would do nobody any good for you to collapse in a heap here, least of all you. You just wanted to collapse into your bed and try to sleep off the horror of the last hour.

You didn’t see Shen anywhere, unsure of where he had gone. But you knew that you would see him eventually. Shen was very strong, so you had no doubts that he had survived the attack. Although you were still struggling to believe that Master Kusho was truly dead. It hurt your head to try and make sense of all that had happened, and you found yourself unsure of what the immediate future would look like for the Kinkou Order.

Finally getting to the bottom of the stairs, you looked out at the road back to the monastery, the clamor reaching your ears easily despite the distance. Understandably, the Kinkou were in a panic, and you stopped in your tracks as you stared at the mess of people running around. For such a normally calm place, the commotion felt deeply unsettling. Deaths happened within the Kinkou, as dealing with demons and restless spirits was never completely risk-free, but to lose the head of the Kinkou in such a tragic and unexpected way had left the Kinkou on unsteady ground.

You would not be able to sleep with how loud the monastery was right now, even as tired as you were. You found your attention drawn instead to the forest just ahead of you, feeling drawn towards the small path between the trees that led to your old training spot. The spot where you and Usan had spent most of your time together.

Maybe going there would give you the peace that you desperately needed right now. The Usan that would kill Master Kusho and steal a relic seemed so foreign to the boy you had known for so long. Could a year have really changed him so much?

No, you thought as you walked down the grassy path, Usan had begun to change long before he had left. The hunt for Khada Jhin had changed him, and as much as you didn’t want him to leave the Kinkou, you knew that you had to let him go. But after today, you were at a loss, worried for your lost friend.

Even though he had killed Master Kusho, stolen a Kinkou artifact and slain your fellow Order members, you couldn’t help but want to see him. To ask him why he had done this. Even if it was a futile effort, you wanted to see him so badly.

Though it pained you to admit it, you felt like you had truly lost him for good today. You had been nursing a hope that one day he would return to the Kinkou, to you. But with this act, he would never be welcomed back. He was not just a deserter of the Kinkou, but now an enemy. Your soul cried as you forced yourself to keep walking as you were forced to accept the fact that you would never stand by Usan’s side again.

The clearing looked the same as it had a year ago. It felt strange to be here after so long. For a year, you had told yourself that coming back here would be too painful, but now it was the only place that you wanted to be. You just wanted to feel like your life was simple again, like how it had been when you and Usan had sparred here together in secret.

You approached the largest tree in the clearing, the one that you used to use as an opponent before you and Usan had started training together. You ran your hand over the little scratches and bumps on the bark of the tree, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to think of the past.

Your fingers hit an especially-jagged section of bark, and you opened your eyes, looking at the intricately-carved symbol before you. You traced the pattern of lines that made up the peace rune, mind drifting back to the day that Usan had showed you how to carve it. It had been carved almost ten years ago, but still held its shape perfectly. Even though you knew any magical effects from such a small rune wouldn’t go far, you couldn’t help but feel bitter that the peace rune had done no good today in regards to the attack on the temple.

You were about to take your hand off of the rune when you were startled by a larger hand being laid over yours from behind. Alarmed, you jolted backwards into a firm chest with a muted cry. The man behind you didn’t say a word, allowing you to rip your hand out from under his and spin around to face him. Raising your hand to strike out, you frozen in your tracks as you stared in shock at the man that stood before you.

You recognized him immediately, but that didn’t mean that his appearance hadn’t changed. It had only been a year, but he had grown broader than he used to be, his form taking up most of your field of vision. His hair was different too; when you had last seen him, it had been much longer than your own, wound in a tight braid. But now it had been cut short, bangs he hadn’t had before hanging down over his forehead.

You had thought that seeing Usan would scare you after what he had done. But looking at him now, all you could think about was how handsome he had become. Why had you never noticed before?

You stared at each other as you tried to get a read on what he was thinking. But his face was blank, as if he was too drained right now to show any emotion. You knew that you were nearly at that point yourself.

“Usan… why are you here?” you whispered, and he shook his head minutely, not breaking eye contact with you.

“I don’t use that name anymore,” he replied quietly. “I am now called Zed.”

Your tired brain took the information in slowly. It did make sense that he would stop using his Kinkou name, given that he had left the Order, but the new name left you with only more questions. But given that this was not the first time he had told you of a name change, you knew that there were more important queries that you wanted answers for first.

It was hard to force yourself to say the words, but you needed to know. “Did you really kill Master Kusho?”

He said nothing in reply, his stony gaze flitting away from you and telling you as much as his words could have. So it was true. You couldn’t help the anger that surged up within you as you stared at his face.

“How could you do this, Usan?” you questioned angrily. “He used to be your master, and you–”

“I did what I had to,” Zed interrupted you, voice sounding resolute as he stared down at you. “The Kinkou have the tools to win the war against Noxus, and they intended to squander them while innocent Ionians die. With this power, I can save our people!”

“He was Shen’s father!” you appealed emotionally. “And the leader of the Kinkou. Does that mean anything to you?”

“Not enough to let all of Ionia die,” Zed retorted, anger bleeding into his voice. “We needed the Tears of the Shadow, and I did what I had to in order to get it.”

Your head was spinning from his blunt words. He clearly didn’t regret killing his previous master, as long as it got him what he wanted. But if he had got what he wanted, then why was he here? Why had he come to you now after going a full year without seeing you even once?

“…why are you here?” you asked softly.

His face relaxed at last, most of the tension leaving his face as you stared at him, waiting for an answer. Your back was still against the tree, caged in by Zed’s body, but you weren’t afraid. Not of the boy you had known for most all of your life. But his reluctance to answer your question made you want to push his buttons, do whatever you had to do to get him to tell you what you wanted to know.

“Are you here to kill me too?” you asked him, careful to keep your voice neutral.

His brown eyes went wide, expression looking like you had slapped him. The hurt in his eyes made you feel bad for saying what you had, but you didn’t have a choice. You needed answers from him.

“…no,” he answered at last.

“Why not?” you pressed. “You killed Master Kusho. What makes my life any different to you?”

“You’ve always been different!” he growled lowly, and the emotion in his voice caught you off guard.

You didn’t know what to say to that, but he didn’t give you a chance to say anything as he leaned in towards you, flattening your back against the tree as he slotted his mouth against yours. He closed his eyes immediately, but yours remained open with shock. While you remained frozen, Zed’s tongue slipped into your mouth, and you found your eyes fluttering closed as you relaxed into the kiss at last.

You were panting softly as he finally pulled back from you, realizing with embarrassment just how much you had enjoyed kissing him, even knowing what he had done. The moment was not meant to last, as his next words felt like ice water being poured on your skin.

“I wanted you to join my order.”

“Your order…?” you replied shakily.

“The Noxian invaders have to be stopped, and I have created my own order that isn’t bound to archaic notions of balance. I intend to protect Ionia, no matter the cost,” he explained passionately, a fire burning in his eyes.

You knew your answer as soon as he had asked you to join him, the words feeling like they were tearing you in two.

“I can’t,” you spoke quietly, and Zed’s face fell as you continued. “The Kinkou have lost their leader. And even if I agree with your goal, you still killed Master Kusho.”

“I see,” he replied simply.

You looked down, unable to look at him any longer as guilt burned in your chest. You both knew that this moment had to end, as he had to return to his order, and you to yours. You knew it would be selfish to try and keep him here, no matter how much you didn’t want to lose him again.

“Please stay safe,” you implored him, voice wavering and eyes closing.

He didn’t reply, and even though you hadn’t heard a sound, you knew he was gone. Sinking to the ground, you leaned back against the tree, pulling your knees to your chest as you once again mourned the loss of your dearest friend.

You allowed yourself the moment of peace that you had come here seeking, only now you had even more on your mind. The silence around you now just felt suffocating, nothing around to distract you from the things you desperately didn’t want to confront within yourself.

It was with great dread that you had to acknowledge that Usan… that Zed wasn’t completely wrong in his ideals. You had been holding doubts in your heart ever since he had left the Kinkou.

Everything you had ever heard about Noxus made it impossible for you to not know of their brutality. They would kill anything and anyone in their pursuit to conquer other lands. There was no doubt that their invasion had cost many Ionian lives already.

You wanted to be devoutly Kinkou and stay dedicated to maintaining balance without distraction, but you couldn’t. You realized that now. You could no longer delude yourself into believing that the Kinkou notion of balance was always right and just.

The Kinkou had the power to help push the Noxians back, but refused to help the people of Ionia unless spirit and man were imbalanced. For the first time, you found yourself thinking that the Kinkou were wrong. After all, would there even be an Ionia for the Kinkou to operate in if Noxus conquered the land due to their refusal to help?

It was with a heavy heart that you realized that you could no longer be a member of the Kinkou, not after you had realized how deeply unsatisfied you had become with the doctrine. It was all that you had ever known, the only family that you could remember, but you would have to leave it all behind.

But at the same time, you could not join Zed and his shadow order. Even if you agreed with why he had killed Master Kusho, he had still taken an innocent life. You could not join forces with someone who almost acted no better than a Noxian, killing to take things that did not belong to him. You could only hope that Shen would forgive you for the decision you felt that you had no choice but to make.

You stayed around as a last service to the Kinkou. There were many injuries to be healed, and procedures to follow to formally declare Shen as the next Eye of Twilight. But beyond that, Shen needed you right now. His father had just died, and now responsibilities were being thrown at him left and right. He never uttered one word of complaint, but you knew that he was struggling.

It took months for the Kinkou to recover from the great loss it had been dealt, but eventually things began to return to normal. As Shen got used to his new role and the Kinkou adapted, you knew that your time was running out. You could not use the Kinkou as a crutch forever, and it was that thought that brought you to see Shen in his room.

“You wish to leave?” Shen asked knowingly before you had a chance to stay anything.

“How did you–”

“I have known you for many years,” Shen answered. “And you have been especially restless since Usan killed my father.”

Your eyes went wide with shock. You hadn’t expected him to talk about his father’s death so bluntly; you hadn’t mentioned it to him at all for fear of upsetting him, but here he was bringing it up on his own.

You hung your head in shame, Shen’s hand coming to rest on your shoulder. You slowly looked back up at him, finding a softer look on his face than you expected.

“Everyone has their own path. I cannot fault you if yours no longer lies with the Kinkou,” he said, nothing but respect in his expression.

“I’m sorry,” you said, the words coming out before you could stop them as the guilt that you felt bubbled up to the surface. You just felt so guilty for leaving after all the Kinkou and Shen had done for you.

“Stop worrying,” he said gently, but firmly. “The Kinkou will not end with your departure. You must do what is right for you. I have no right to stop you.”

You knew that was as nice of a goodbye as you could have gotten from the serious man. You knew this was what you needed to do, but it didn’t make it any less hard to leave your friend behind.

“Thank you,” you said, feeling choked with emotion as you leaned over to hug Shen, your arms not able to fully wrap around his large frame. Shen’s arms came up to awkwardly return your embrace, his hands on your back.

“I wish you luck, my friend.”

You had felt like a lost soul for a while as you had wandered to the north of Thanjuul in search of a new place to belong. You journeyed through towns, exploring the world outside the Kinkou that you had never experienced before. You were having a hard time shaking your feelings of being a fish out of water away, but now that you had seen Ionia as it was, you knew that you had made the right decision to leave the Kinkou.

Your search for belonging took you to Shon-Xan in Northern Ionia, to a village along the coast. You had been in town for only a day when a small band of Noxians decided to siege the small village, confident that their skill could best those in the peaceful village.

The screams had alerted you to trouble on the shores, and you had rushed to join the few capable men and women who attempted to drive the invaders back. You had experienced fighting demons and unruly spirits, but this was your first time fighting against other humans in a life-or-death situation. But even without that experience, you had been in training for many years, and it showed. The cocky Noxians were no match for you.

You drove the invaders back easily, not one of them escaping with their lives. You were initially conflicted taking the lives of other humans, but seeing innocent villagers barely escaping with their lives told you that you were doing the right thing. These people needed your help, and you were more than willing to provide it. This was it. You had found your meaning.

The village was smaller than others on the coast, so it was a lower-priority target for the Noxians, but that did not mean that you were entirely safe. Any invaders that tried to conquer the village were swiftly met with the blade of your daggers and the might of your Kinkou-learned magic.

As the invasion continued to rage across Ionia, you found yourself travelling to the more war-ravaged areas of Shon-Xan to help fight the Noxian armies that sought to conquer. The life of a wandering warrior was not easy, and you fell into an exhausted sleep more days than not, but it was worth it to you to protect the land that you had lived in all of your life.

It took years for the war to subside, the land ravaged and many lives lost in the conflict. You had lived with your focus narrowed on the war for so long that you found yourself again unsure of what to do at war’s end. Ionia was no longer at war, but there was now an internal conflict rising between those who wanted Ionia to go back to its pacifistic roots and those who wanted to unite Ionia as a militaristic power to ward off any potential invasions in the future. You wanted no part of the debate; you weren’t a leader, and didn’t intend to insert yourself into Ionian politics now.

You had been floundering when an acquaintance from your time in the war offered you the chance to travel with her from Shon-Xan to the Ionian island of Ralin to the east. You had started out doing small jobs in exchange for the money you needed to survive, but eventually your reputation as a war hero began to earn you more notice, and with that came more opportunities.

You found yourself drifting between the Ionian islands and the mainland as you took on various jobs. You exterminated deadly beasts, escorted important people to their destinations, recovered stolen items, and whatever other requests caught your attention.

When your life had gotten a little less hectic, you had made a decision to send a letter to Shen, hoping that he had survived the war and remained at the old Kinkou temple in Thanjuul. A return letter arriving for you a few weeks later was the relief that you needed; Shen was okay, and the Kinkou had survived. You were happy to hear from your old friend, and began to exchange letters when you had the time between jobs.

It was hard for you to believe sometimes that it had been ten years since you had been a member of the Kinkou, and since you had seen Shen or Usan. You had heard whispers of the operations of the shadow order that Usan had created, but had never run into them yourself. You still found yourself calling him Usan in your head; the name Zed just felt unnatural on your lips, like it was meant for a stranger, and not the man you had known for most of your life.

As much as it pained you to admit it, Zed was a stranger to you now. You hadn’t sought him out, and would have no idea what you would say to him now. It felt so foreign to you that you used to be able to talk to him for hours, but now not a word came to mind when you pondered what you would say if you ever saw him again.

Luckily, the opportunities you had to dwell on Zed were few and far between with how busy you had been lately. There had been an increase in bandit attacks lately, and you now found yourself walking along a path towards Kotha in the Ionian province of Zhyun. You had been pushing yourself too hard lately; the bandits sieging the nearby town of Thonx had taken you longer than you had thought to dispatch. You could only hope that there would be an inn in Kotha with an open room for the night.

It was due to your tiredness that you didn’t notice the trouble until it was too late. You had just approached the start of a short bridge over the Sotka River when you finally noticed the two figures standing on the bridge, and the screams of the man that they were dangling off the bridge by a rope.

You froze in place; you didn’t normally make a habit of intervening in gang situations unless you were asked to, but at the same time, you were now too close to avoid being seen as one of the people on the bridge turned towards you. It was too dark for you to see detail in the faces of the two people, and you slowly reached down to the dagger at your side as one of the figures began to approach you as the other continued to hold the rope.

You let out an annoyed exhale as you got into a battle stance. You really didn’t want to fight when you were already tired, but you had no choice. Gangsters didn’t tend to be lenient with witnesses to their crimes, but at the same time, you refused to die here for such a stupid reason.

You were more than ready when the man came within your striking range, flipping behind him and pressing one of your daggers to his neck.

“I have no interest in your business,” you hissed sternly. “I will continue on this path and you can continue whatever it is you were doing.”

The man stayed silent and still, which confused you until his companion on the bridge spoke up.

“Shen!” a woman’s voice cried out from the bridge, and your hand went lax, allowing the man in front of you to gently grasp your hand and remove the dagger from being pointed at his neck before turning to face you.

“…Shen?”

He was older, but his face had not changed beyond recognition. His hair was up in a topknot, the sides of his head shaved. The biggest change in him was his eyes; they were all-white, a product of his elevation to the Eye of Twilight. It was jarring to not see his brown eyes anymore, but he could clearly still see, as he recognized you as well, gently speaking your name in response.

“Shen!” you cried happily, feeling like you had been transported back to your past as you stared at his face. But just as quickly, concern began to bubble up in your mind. “What are you doing here?”

Shen’s expression hardened again, but he was interrupted before he could answer by the cries of the man dangling from the bridge.

“Please, I’ll tell you! Just let me up!” he shouted, struggling on the rope. Looking around the side of the bridge told you that he was being suspended just above circling carnivorous fish, and suddenly the desperation in his cries made more sense.

The man began to start listing odd names as the woman fished a scroll out of a waist bag and began to scribble on it. Sensing that it was better to leave her to what she was doing, you turned your focus back to Shen, one eyebrow raised as you waited for his explanation.

“Khada Jhin has escaped.”

What? You blinked, having a hard time processing Shen’s words. Khada Jhin had been in prison for so long, how could he have escaped now? He would have to have been helped by someone. But the only people who knew where Jhin had been imprisoned were Shen, Usan and Master Kusho. And with Master Kusho dead, and Shen on Jhin’s trail, that left only one possibility that twisted your stomach in knots.

“Usan came to inform me of Jhin’s escape,” Shen added.

“So it wasn’t…” you trailed off, but Shen understood where you had been going with your words.

“Zed may have informed the wrong person of Jhin’s location, but I do not believe that he freed Jhin himself,” he answered.

You felt immediately relieved, but hated yourself for it. You hated the way that you still wanted to believe the best in Usan, even after what he had done to Master Kusho. You wanted to believe that Usan was not capable of releasing one of the most prolific serial killers in Ionia back into the world. But if it wasn’t Usan, then who? What reason could someone have to free such a vicious monster from its cage?

Strangled cries drew your attention back to the bridge to see the woman pulling the rope back up, the dangling man desperately trying not to squirm too much and end up falling into the water. At last, he was pulled back up and onto the bridge, the woman severing the rope with a dagger.

“I hope that all your information is right, for your sake,” she told the man with very casual menace.

The man didn’t even reply, scrambling to his feet without bothering to properly remove the rope from his ankles, stumbling on rope as he ran off the bridge and away from the woman.

Grinning in satisfaction, the woman approached you and Shen, holding the scroll in her hand. Now that she was closer, you were able to get a better look at her. She was younger than you and Shen, her dark hair tied up with a green cloth that matched the rest of her outfit. Wispy tattoos swirled up one of her arms, and sharp kama blades hung at her side. You weren’t sure who she was; no memories of this girl came to mind.

“Got the list,” she told Shen, a satisfied smile on her face. “Men will tell you anything when you dangle them over man-eating fish!”

She was talking to Shen, but you noticed her curiously looking you over, just as you had been doing to her. Shen looked between you before stepping back up to allow you and the girl a better look at each other.

“This is my former student, Akali,” Shen introduced, Akali giving you a short wave, but remaining on her guard.

You offered her your name in return with a smile. You hadn’t known that Shen had taken on a student; he hadn’t mentioned her in any of his letters.

“She can be trusted, Akali,” Shen told her, aware of his student’s wariness. “She was once a member of the Kinkou.”

“Oh,” Akali replied with a nod. “And you told her about, uh…”

“Yes, I told her of Jhin’s escape,” Shen answered.

Akali’s demeanor shifted at once, a friendly smile gracing her face. “Alright, so no need for secrets then. You coming with us to hunt Jhin down or what?”

Shen looked sternly at his former apprentice. “She did not come here to be burdened with our cause.”

“Wait,” you interjected. You had already made up your mind the second he had mentioned Jhin’s escape. “I want to help. I just finished a job, and I won’t be able to relax with that monster on the loose.”

Shen’s face was blank, and you fixed him with a frown. “I haven’t just been sitting around all these years. Let me help you recapture Jhin.”

Akali was easier to sway as she made her way to your side, holding her paper out so you could get a look at the unusual names written on it. “Any of these names sound familiar to you? Jhin was on one of these ships this month, and we need to find out which one.”

You were surprised at the lead Shen and Akali had managed to procure on the so-called golden demon as you walked around a marketplace in Kotha asking for any information on a deadly incident on a ship where sixteen people were noted as being killed by a demon. As Khada Jhin always killed in units of four, there was no other conclusion to come to in regards to the culprit.

So far, you had very little luck with the traders at the marketplace. Many had heard of the deaths of Lord Jaetha and his family on that ship, but had no further information, simply expressing their horror or disbelief at the brutality of the incident. In short, you were getting nowhere fast. You could almost feel the leads on Jhin’s whereabouts escaping you like they were grains of sand between your fingers.

“Hey,” you spoke up after quite a while of remaining silent, Shen and Akali looking over at you. “I’ll go ask the merchants on the south side. We’ll never be done by sundown if we stay in a group.”

They accepted your reasoning fairly easily, and you split from them with a promise to meet again after you had finished your part of the information gathering. Wishing each other luck, you departed to the south, heading down the street at a normal pace before ducking into an alleyway at the next turn. You did intend to do your part in questioning the merchants, but you also had one other matter of business to attend to.

The war with Noxus had sharpened your senses, and your more recent work had honed them further. From the moment you had begun to question the merchants, you had been feeling eyes on your group. You had spent the next hour taking careful glances around, trying to pinpoint your apparent stalker, and had only just noticed a figure in maroon clothing that seemed to always be in the same area of the market as you were.

You could only take very quick glances at the person, not wanting to tip them off by being too obvious. Their robes covered their body, an adjoining headscarf covering their head. You couldn’t even tell if the figure was a man or a woman, or guess why they were following your group.

You didn’t seem to be their main focus, as you peeked your head out of the alleyway to see them continuing to follow behind Shen and Akali. As you stared at the figure, your thoughts began to turn to darker possibilities. Could this be Jhin himself? You had never seen what Jhin looked like, so you couldn’t be sure, but the figure was hiding themselves too well in the marketplace to be a petty thief. They had to be a professional of some kind, and you just hoped it wasn’t Jhin; the marketplace was crowded at this time of day, and there would be a lot of victims if Jhin was to set his sights on causing trouble here.

As you watched Shen and Akali continue down the isle of stalls, you formulated a plan. You walked down the alleyway, checking that it opened up to the next isle of shops before darting over to a stall selling colorful fabrics. Purchasing some cloth, you retreated back to the shadows of the alley.

You quickly wrapped the cloth around your head, allowing the excess fabric to hang over you like a poncho. If the person was following Shen and Akali, then they had also seen you. If you were going to be able to surprise them, then you would have to make sure that they didn’t see you coming.

You positioned yourself by the stall nearest to the alley, which happened to be a vendor of fine beads and crafted jewelry. You perused the vendor’s stock, keeping your real focus on the entrance to the isle, waiting for your target to arrive.

You watched as Shen and Akali entered into your scope of vision, unaware that they were being tailed. You waited a few minutes longer, and then there was no doubt in your mind as the figure in red entered the isle of stalls. There was no way that the figure’s movements could be a coincidence at this point, which solidified your resolve. You would not allow this person to hunt your friends, or the unsuspecting townspeople.

You asked the merchant about her beads, acting as if you were just an interested customer, all the while tracking the figure with your eyes. Shen and Akali went about their business, and you looked down to examine a jade bracelet, your hood falling over your eyes as they came to question the lady running the stall.

“I did hear tell of that,” the old woman answered. “Just awful. Lord Jaetha has always been good to the people here. I pray he found peace in death.”

“Alright, thanks for your time,” Akali replied, and you could easily hear the frustrated undertones in her voice. They must still have been having no luck.

Off they went to the last stall on the other side of the isle, and you looked over to see the figure much closer than they were before. From this distance, you could at least tell that it was a man from the way he was built. Not a good sign for your Jhin theory, but it gave you an idea on how to go about accosting the mysterious stranger.

If you tried to fight him here, you would attract too much attention to yourself, not to mention potentially endanger the people in the marketplace. This time, you would have to use a more covert approach; one that wouldn’t alert the man to what you actually were until you had confirmed his identity. If you acted as a simple escort, then you could suss out his identity while keeping yours to yourself until the moment was right.

Shen and Akali left the isle at last, and you finally broke away from the jewelry vendor to stand against a wall by the alleyway, intending to drag the man in there with you as soon as he got close enough. You got lucky, as the man was walking on your side of the isle, making your job much easier. You kept your breath steady, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

As soon as his arm was within your range, you quickly grabbed his wrist, tugging him into the alleyway with you. Pressing him against the wall, you leaned your head up against his neck to avoid him seeing your face.

“You look lonely,” you said, purposefully speaking in a higher pitch than your normal voice. “I can keep you company… for a price.”

He didn’t seem to suspect anything was amiss as he gently pushed you away from him. “I’m not interested.”

That voice… you realized in an instant just how wrong you had been about the identity of your pursuer. You reached a hand up to remove his hood, desperate to confirm his identity, when you were stopped by his larger hand encircling your wrist to stop you in your attempt to reveal his face.

“Usan, please!” you cried out, and the man before you stiffened in surprise, his grip on your wrist softening enough for you to shake his fingers off and pull his hood back enough that you could see his face.

His hair was a little longer, and his eyes were a little darker, but there was no doubt that the man before you was Usan. Even ten years later, this man would never truly be a stranger to you. Seeing his face now, you realized just how much you had missed him. He still had that small scar running through one eyebrow, and was still a head taller than you at least. It wasn’t as if his scars or height could have changed since you had seen him, but you still found yourself surprised by how much his appearance had stayed the same.

You pulled your hand back from his hood at last with a wistful smile. “Sorry… I know your name isn’t Usan anymore.”

He stared down at you, and you noticed how weary he looked, like he had carried the weight of the world on his shoulders for too long. What had he been doing in the past ten years since you had seen him?

“Call me what you want,” he replied as he stared back at you.

He just looked so tired; it hurt your heart to see him like this. You could deny it all you wanted, but as you looked at Zed’s face, you knew that you had always carried a soft spot for him, no matter what he had done. It was why you could never truly turn your back on him; even now you found yourself wanting to comfort him, as badly as things had ended the last time you two had met.

You reached a hand up towards his face, placing it over his cheek. Zed seemed to welcome the contact, closing his eyes at your touch. You stayed like that for a moment, but a burst of chatter from the marketplace reminded you of why you were here.

“Zed… why are you following Shen?” you asked.

Zed’s brown eyes opened and the tender moment was lost as you pulled your hand back from his face.

“The only way to capture Jhin is if Shen and I join forces, but he refuses to work with me,” Zed explained, and you nodded.

“You can’t be too surprised by that after what happened,” you said sadly as you took a quick glance towards the end of the alleyway, where a child dashed in to retrieve a lost ball before running back out to play with his friends.

“No, I can’t blame him,” Zed answered with a sigh. “But Jhin is more than we can handle if we work separately. He’ll need my help to take Jhin down.”

You bit your lip, missing how Zed’s eyes followed the movement. You couldn’t deny that they were the only two people alive who had caught Jhin before, and had the best chance of catching him again. But even though you knew that, you also knew that you couldn’t convince Shen to work with the man that had killed his father.

You sighed, unsure if you were making the right decision or not. “I won’t tell him I saw you. But please be careful. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

Zed looked away from you. “Jhin is dangerous. I will do what I have to for him to be stopped.”

“Usan!” Your angry voice brought his eyes back to yours. “I don’t want you to die!”

He had nothing to say to that, which only annoyed you more. Did he have no care for his own life in all of this?

Turning on your heel, you promptly exited the alleyway, heading towards the south side of the market to fulfil your part of the information gathering. So much had changed, and still Usan was as stubborn and reckless as he had always been. You only hoped for his sake that he would snap out of it before he really got himself killed.

Two days later, you had travelled to the town of Nanthee in search of the town’s elder, who likely possessed important information on why Lord Jaetha and his family were targeted by Jhin. But the lead was not meant to be; the day before you arrived in town, the elder and three others had been brutally murdered. The killings being in a group of four, there was no room to believe that there was any culprit but Jhin behind the deaths.

You knew that Zed had to be somewhere nearby, but you hadn’t been able to sense him since the day you had confronted him at the marketplace. Almost as soon as you had stormed off, you had regretted losing your temper. The first time you had seen him in ten years and you had ruined it with your big mouth. You would have to hope that you hadn’t severed that link forever.

You followed behind Shen into the building where the elder had been killed, Akali waiting outside at Shen’s urging. This was your first exposure to Jhin’s work, and it was somehow even more gruesome than you had imagined.

Four bodies, broken and mangled, lay in the entryway of the room, as if they had been fleeing to safety as they were killed. Grotesque vines wound around their bodies, the flesh of their faces peeled back in a gruesome likeness of a flower. If this was only a fraction of what Jhin was capable of, then you feared for all of Ionia.

Shen approached the bodies with you close behind as you set about tending to the corpses. Their skin felt cold and stiff to the touch, as if you were dealing with broken puppets, not people who had been alive the day before. You couldn’t allow a maniac like this to be free. Jhin had to be stopped at all costs, or tragedies like this would continue to happen.

You found yourself glad to have experienced the brutal nature of war, because otherwise you likely wouldn’t have been able to stomach the gore that you were working with now. By the time you had finished burying the bodies, you were feeling weary in spirit, hoping that those people would be the last victims of the golden demon before he was caught. But it would not be easy to catch Jhin; you were too experienced to be that naïve about the reality of the situation.

“I hope we can stop him,” you said, speaking the first words that either you or Shen had spoken since you had buried the victims.

Shen looked over at you. “Behind his demonic cruelty, he is still a man. I intend to make sure he is imprisoned once more before anyone else dies.”

You looked forward to see a group of men in blue standing around just outside the building that you had been in. You had almost forgot; Shen had requested members of the Kinkou to accompany the investigation, and they were likely waiting for a debrief from their leader regarding the bodies of Jhin’s newest victims. It was easy to forget they were here with all that was going on, but you knew that Shen would want to speak with them.

“Take your time,” you told him. “I’ll go find Akali.”

You agreed to meet up afterwards, heading to go find Akali, who had wandered off somewhere. You found her fairly easily, wandering aimlessly around Nanthee.

“We finished with the bodies,” you told her.

She bit her lip. “Were they really as bad as Shen was saying?”

“Yes.” You didn’t feel the need to sugarcoat the truth with her. “We need to catch him before he can do that to anyone else.”

Your conversation was interrupted by a loud gong ringing through the port town. Looking over at Akali, she shrugged back at you. “Must be a ship leaving. They like to hit the gong four times when ships leave port.”

Sounded like a pretty typical port town custom to you. The gong rang out for the fourth time and then stopped, just as Akali had described. Just as you were about to suggest taking a walk around town to give Shen some time, something behind Akali caught your attention.

Loud explosions began to pierce the air along with screams that were abruptly cut off. Your eyes were drawn immediately to the lanterns that were strung up along all of the streets as you watched the lanterns down the road begin to detonate and explode.

“Akali, the lanterns are bombs!” you spoke hurriedly. “We need to run!”

Akali didn’t ask questions as the two of you began to sprint off the street and towards one of the large carved heads made of stone that were scattered around the town. You heard the explosions and felt the heat right behind you, but you didn’t stop running. You dove for the top of the stone head, Akali hot on your heels as you both ducked down and covered your heads as explosions continued to ring out all around you. You both stayed down on the ground until the explosions finally stopped, the town deathly quiet.

You stood up, dusting yourself off as you looked over to see Akali doing the same. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll live,” she groaned. “You?”

“I’m fine,” you replied. “We got out just in time. I can’t say the same for the townspeople though.”

“I’ll get him for this!” Akali promised angrily as some of Shen’s men joined you on the stone head.

“Hey, that ship!” Akali exclaimed, and you looked over at the port to see a ship sailing away. Akali turned to one of the Kinkou men. “Hey, where is that boat going?”

“To the port of Piltover,” the man answered, and you frowned.

“You think that Jhin…?”

“No doubt he’s on that ship,” she answered bitterly. “Who else would cause this much destruction and then run away like a coward?”

It was a bitter feeling, knowing that Jhin was within your grasp, only to escape across the sea after decimating most of the town. And you were still haunted by the knowledge that the person who had freed the demon was also out there somewhere. This whole affair was starting to reek of the Navori Brotherhood.

The Navori Brotherhood were the most fervent champions of the cause to unite Ionia and bring the land to military prominence. Their cause had only become more radical after the war, setting their sights on uniting Ionia under one rule… their rule. And they were willing to kill whoever they had to in order to achieve their goal.

It made so much sense. Your mind drifted back to a conversation days ago in the marketplace where a merchant had mentioned that Lord Jaetha had been firm in his opposition to the radical brotherhood. And then he and his family had all been killed.

Jhin was too chaotic to involve himself in Ionian politics… unless he owed a debt. He had to be acting at the command of the Navori Brotherhood; there was no other explanation for the targeted killings.

But while you knew the basic information about the brotherhood, that didn’t tell you much. It wasn’t as if there was anyone in Ionia who hadn’t heard of the Navori brotherhood. But any details that laid below the surface were scarce; you didn’t know the details of their operations, or even who their leader was. Or how they had learned of Jhin’s location, allowing them to free him.

There wasn’t a whole lot left of the town; buildings aflame, columns of smoke rising in the air. You didn’t notice many survivors, which was an unfortunate reflection of the careful planning that went into Jhin’s brutality. The only figures you noticed in the wreckage were Kinkou who roamed the wreckage, trying to find any survivors, with little luck.

Your attention was then drawn to the edge of the water as you noticed a silver-haired figure in red dragging a man in blue out of the water. You had forgotten all about Zed in the chaos, but there he was saving Shen from drowning.

Almost immediately, Shen was on his feet, sword drawn as he stood in a battle stance. You should have expected something like this to happen when the two men met again. No matter how much Zed wanted to work with Shen to capture Jhin, the wounds of their past were too hard for Shen to forgive.

As the two men fought, you found yourself scrambling down towards the beach, needing to get to them but unsure of what you would do when you got there. It took you much longer to get to them with all the fire and rubble in the way, but you pressed on.

Shen and Zed continued to fight as you made your way down, allowing you your first glimpse at Zed’s shadow magic as he disappeared into shadows and then reappeared elsewhere. You could tell that he had spent a long time mastering his shadow abilities, but Shen was no slouch in that regard either.

Shen fought fiercely, and despite Zed’s attempts to quell the fight, he was forced to defend himself. But Shen’s will was stronger, and your feet touched the sand just as Shen slammed Zed down into the ground. You approached the pair slowly, Shen now on his knees next to the unconscious Zed, tears in his eyes as he wept for the severed bond between them.

You were unable to speak up, your mouth feeling dry as you searched your mind for words that wouldn’t come. As you struggled with indecision, the remainder of the Kinkou that had come to Nanthee with you approached, and then Shen stood up at last.

You stared at him, but he wouldn’t meet your eyes as he instructed his men to bind Zed with chains and scrolls that nulled his magic. You weren’t sure what to think, but simply stood there as Shen announced his intentions to burn Zed’s shadow magic from his body and then throw him in prison. This certainly wasn’t the reunion you had expected, but at the same time, you could not stand in Shen’s way, not after what Zed had done to his father. You just wished that it didn’t have to hurt so much to see the former friends as fractured as they were.

After the bombing, it was decided that you would spend the night at the beach as it was getting dark and the burning rubble that was the town was still too treacherous to travel through. You helped to set up tents using supplies the Kinkou had brought along from their last camp that was just out of town. Along with the basic supplies, you watched as a wooden trailer was brought down the rocks, being pulled by two worax. The trailer was complete with high walls and a roof, and it didn’t take a lot of effort to guess what they planned to do with it.

You watched as two men picked up Zed’s unconscious body and brought him over to the trailer that had been set up away from the tents. While they chained Zed up by his wrists, his feet barely touching the floor, a third man set about pasting magic-nulling paper talismans inside and outside of the wooden trailer. It was a little hard for you to watch the scene, so you turned back to your work on the tents.

After you were done setting up camp, you began to assist the wounded, the sun having set long before you had finished. You were exhausted, but didn’t feel like you could sleep. By now, most of the Kinkou had retired to their respective tents, but you could only stare longingly at the wooden trailer that held Zed within it.

“You are not prohibited from seeing him.”

You inhaled sharply; you hadn’t noticed Shen approach you. You looked over at him to see his face looking impassive as usual. After you had stared at each other for a short moment, Shen turned to look at the makeshift jail cell.

“Usan is awake,” he told you. “I checked on him earlier.”

“…oh?” You tried not to sound too interested, but Shen easily saw through you.

“Usan is not connected to my past alone. It is not a betrayal for you to speak with him,” he insisted calmly.

“But I…” You struggled to finish your thought. You wanted to go see him, but you were nervous. With how your last conversation with him ended, would he even want to speak with you?

“Zed is hard to keep in one place. You will have no better chance than now,” Shen added.

He didn’t wait for you to reply, turning back to head towards his own tent. Even as nerves danced in your stomach, your feet began to take you closer to the innocuous-looking wooden trailer. The beach was so quiet that the sound of your breathing was all you could hear as you brought a hand up, intending to open the door, but lacking the courage to face him again.

You couldn’t throw this chance away. Shen was right; if you wanted to talk to Zed, then it would have to be now. It was certainly better to do it now when everyone else was sleeping and save yourself the unwanted attention from the Kinkou who slept just across the beach.

You couldn’t let yourself chicken out, grasping the door at last, pulling it open and climbing the single step up to enter into the trailer. You closed the door behind you, not wanting any lone Kinkou to see the door open and come to investigate.

You stiffened, hand still against the door as a weak laugh rang out from behind you. You slowly turned around, Zed waiting for you to look his way before speaking.

“I’ve been wondering when you would come,” he said, his voice dry and raspy.

There was no nice way to put it… he looked awful. Zed was chained to the ceiling of the trailer by his wrists, his shirt removed, allowing you a good look at the black tattoos that covered his shoulders and torso and gave him his shadow magic. Shen had clearly done a number on him in their fight; one of his eyes was swollen, the skin around it purple and bruised. His face and body were covered in cuts and bruises, and you knew the position that he forcibly found himself in now couldn’t possibly be comfortable for him.

You couldn’t free him, but you could ease his parched throat. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out your waterskin, approaching him and raising it to his mouth. He accepted the water, keeping his eyes on yours as he drank from it. You gave him all the water you had in the waterskin; you could get more to drink later, but he clearly couldn’t.

You found yourself distracted by a droplet of water that rolled down to his chin from his lips as you tried to think of what to say to him. Zed watched you, waiting for you to speak up first.

“You look bad,” you said at last, staring at his very obvious black eye.

He stared at you, expression flat. “That’s what you want to talk about?”

“It’s been a long time, Zed. I don’t know what to talk to you about after all these years,” you answered honestly. “We’re not the same people that we were when we were Kinkou.”

His eyes narrowed as you spoke. “You’re not Kinkou?”

Oh. You supposed that fact had yet to come up, but you had no reason to hide it from him. Even if he did hold any ill will towards you, he was securely chained and bound.

“I haven’t been a member of the Order in a long time. I left a few months after you attacked the temple,” you explained.

“But why would you…”

You sighed. “Because you were right. I couldn’t just abandon Ionia to soothe unruly nature spirits while Noxus was at our shores.”

He looked frustrated as he took the time to consider the new information. “You could have come to me.”

His voice was soft, but that didn’t make his words any less frustration for you. “How, Zed? I didn’t know where you went.”

“You could have left with me that day,” he insisted quietly.

You laughed humorlessly. “Did you forget that you asked me to come with you not even two hours after you killed Master Kusho?”

He didn’t reply, and you continued, the pent-up anger from wounds not fully healed becoming too much for you to hold back. “You left me without saying goodbye. For a whole year, I didn’t know if you were alive or dead, Usan! You didn’t even send one letter, and then you come back, kill Master Kusho and then try to pretend that we were like we used to be!”

You hastily wiped the few tears you felt pooling in your eyes with your sleeve. “You have Usan’s face, but I feel like I don’t know you anymore.”

You were getting too emotional. You were feeling entirely too exposed and vulnerable after your outburst, regretting lashing out at him almost immediately. Avoiding his eyes, you hastily retreated, exiting the trailer into the cold night air.

Running a hand through your hair as you tried to settle your nerves, you cursed your own actions. Your best chance to have a real talk with Zed and you had let your anger overtake you. As much as he was deserving of your ire, you should have kept your cool. You really needed to get a handle of your stubborn streak, you bitterly admitted.

You quietly crept into your tent, laying down under thin sheets and trying to sleep, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Zed. You were having trouble sleeping, but you weren’t strung up by your wrists. There was no way that sleep would come easily to Zed tonight, bound as he was. Your mind was troubled, but you didn’t have the physical impediments that were currently making it much more difficult for him to get any sleep.

You didn’t understand yourself; not even an hour ago you were yelling at Zed, but now you were feeling sorry for him. As much as you hated to admit it, your rationality all but abandoned you in the face of confronting your oldest friend. Maybe it was because you had known him for so long that you couldn’t fully condemn him now.

Some part of you had always felt something for him, and it was that part of you now that wanted to go back to that trailer and apologize for yelling at him. But your pride crushed any chance of that happening; you would see how you felt in the morning, and hope that you would have another chance to talk to him alone again. As you felt yourself slipping into sleep, you promised yourself that if that chance were to come, you wouldn’t allow your anger to rule you again.

The next day found you on the move, making your way out of the ruined town alongside the Kinkou. You had been silently walking at Shen’s side, your eyes looking ahead of you at Zed’s wooden cage. You hadn’t mentioned your conversation with Zed, and Shen hadn’t asked, not that you would know what to tell him anyways.

You were brought out of your thoughts by the sound of hoofbeats rapidly approaching. You looked to the side to see a rider in blue approaching you, or more specifically, approaching Shen. Shen stopped walking, signalling the rest of the Kinkou to do the same as the man on horseback came to a stop.

“A message for you from Akali,” the man said, removing a rolled-up scroll from his saddle bag and handing it down to Shen.

You had been wondering where Akali had gone, the last time you had seen her being after the town had been riddled with explosions.

Shen read the note quietly, re-folding it when he was done. After a nod from Shen, the messenger was on his way again, and you tried to catch Shen’s eye, your curiosity piqued.

Shen turned to you as he put the note in his pocket. “Akali has gone to Piltover in search of Jhin.”

“By herself?” you gasped. “That’s practically suicide!”

Shen’s serious expression told you that he agreed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “She is hasty, but she is not wrong. I must go to Piltover to find her before Jhin does.”

“…and Usan?” you asked as you both stared ahead at the wooden trailer.

Shen sighed. “Capturing Jhin is more important than my personal grudges. But if Zed wants to go after Jhin with me, he will have to do it my way. Jhin will be captured alive.”

You shook your head, knowing that Zed would not be happy about that, but it wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter. Shen needed Zed’s help, but it would be on his own terms. Shen was steadfast in his morals, and even Jhin would not cause him to falter.

“And you?” Shen asked. “Do you intend to travel with us to Piltover?”

You were flattered by the offer, and the underlying confidence Shen had in your skills, but you knew what you had to do.

“I can’t,” you answered. “It’s been bothering me… who freed Jhin?”

Shen’s eyebrows furrowed. “Zed keeps mentioning that. I can only wonder who it was he has told of Jhin’s location.”

“I need to find whoever freed Jhin,” you insisted. “Someone who would unleash that monster on Ionia… they’re as much of a danger as Jhin himself.”

“I wish you luck, my old friend,” Shen said after a moment of silence.

You smiled sadly. “You’ll probably need it more than me. Jhin is not an enemy to be taken lightly.”

“But not an enemy I can allow to continue to plague Ionia,” Shen added.

They would likely be leaving as soon as possible for Piltover, and you saw your window of opportunity closing. This wasn’t how you had intended to do things, but you had to go your own way, and didn’t want to leave any regrets behind.

“…before you free Zed, can I speak with him?” you asked quietly.

“I will go ready the horses,” Shen replied, giving you your answer implicitly.

You nodded as you both went your separate ways, and you noticed how the men guarding Zed’s prison seemed to all leave to busy themselves with other tasks as you approached the cart. You weren’t sure if you were embarrassed or grateful from Shen’s discretion, but for now, you intended not to waste this opportunity.

As much as you hated to think about it, you were both heading into very dangerous situations. You were going to be poking your nose where it didn’t belong, with people that would likely kill to protect their secrets, and Shen and Zed were going after the most brutal serial murderer in Ionia’s history. You knew there would be no sureties that you would all come back alive, which was all the more reason to bare yourself emotionally to Zed now.

You tucked some hair behind your ear, nerves creeping up on you as you were faced with the same wooden door from last night. The only difference between now and last night being that it was no longer dark, your eyes focussing on the patterns in the wood grain as you hesitated. Below all of his shadow magic and steely temperament, he was still the boy that had trained with you for years and given you the chance to be where you were now.

So why did you feel like a shy teenager confessing to a boy for the first time? You weren’t new to interacting with men; you had seduced men for your jobs before, and had met some men that you had liked as more than friends. But Usan was different to you, he had always been. You recalled him telling you the same thing ten years ago, right before he had kissed you.

You felt frozen with nerves, but you couldn’t keep Shen waiting. There was still a murderer on the loose, and Akali needed their help. You couldn’t waste everyone’s time with your indecision.

Zed looked the same as he had last night, save for his black eye, which was a deeper shade of purple than before. He stared at you as he stepped closer to him, trying to decide what to say with your limited time.

“…I missed you,” you said at last. “When you left the Kinkou, and for the past ten years.”

If this was potentially your last conversation with him, you would not let yourself get angry. You kept your voice calm, which seemed to surprise him. But you were determined that this time would be different to every other time you and Usan had parted; no matter what he had done, you would end this conversation with a smile on your face.

“I was bitter and dissatisfied,” he said, and you didn’t detect any anger in his voice. “And I made a selfish choice. You have every right to hate me for what I’ve done.”

“I know,” you replied. “But I can’t stay angry with you. You’ve done a lot of awful, stupid things, but you were also there for me when nobody else was.”

Zed sighed. “I saw a lot of myself in you back then. You wanted so desperately to serve the Kinkou that ignored your existence.”

You couldn’t help a laugh. “It was a little embarrassing to be a new apprentice in my early twenties when all of the other ones were eleven.”

“You never deserved that,” Zed growled with a frown and dark eyes. “The Kinkou were too stuck in their ways to appreciate the potential that you had.”

His unexpected defense of you warmed your heart. You had really missed talking with him like this, only wishing it could have happened under better conditions. But as you gazed at his face, feeling more at peace than you had in a long time, distant sounds of preparation from outside reminded you of your current situation.

“I intend to track down the person that freed Jhin,” you told him, watching closely as Zed’s jaw clenched ever so slightly. You wanted to know what the small change in his expression meant, but then his face went neutral again and you lost your opportunity to analyze him further.

Your nerve had never been higher, so you intended to make your move now. You moved closer to Zed, so close that you could feel his breath on your skin, his eyes brimming with intensity. You brought a hand up to his cheek, fingers trailing down a recent cut along his jaw. Zed didn’t flinch, unwilling to break his eyes away from yours.

“I know you’re going after Jhin,” you said, voice just above a whisper. “But I want you to make me a promise, Zed. If we both live through this, I want to see you without all of this. I don’t want you to leave me behind again.”

As you spoke, you leaned closer to Zed, now so close that your noses barely brushed. You didn’t miss the way he glanced down at your lips before looking back up to your eyes. Zed wasn’t stupid, he clearly understood your intentions, his eyes so dark with want that they were almost black.

“Well?” you prompted, fluttering your eyelashes playfully at him as you waited for a response from the bound man.

“Yes,” he said without delay. “I promi–”

You couldn’t wait any longer, holding his face still with one hand as you leaned in to kiss him. You were both so desperate for this, which was obvious by how quickly the kiss intensified. You were unable to help a moan, so quiet that only the two of you heard it, as Zed caught your tongue with his. Your head felt light as you continued to kiss, and you found yourself wishing that you had done this much sooner.

But Ionia needed you and Zed right now. As nice as this moment was, it had to end. It was with great frustration that you pulled away at last, nibbling gently on his lip as you went. His eyes opened at the same time as yours did, both of you breathing a little harder than you had before the kiss.

You sighed ruefully as you stepped back from him. “I’m holding you to that promise, Zed.”

You didn’t give him a chance to reply, turning and sauntering to the door, swinging your hips as you walked. You didn’t have to turn back to know his eyes were very likely on your ass, or at least you hoped that they would be for your effort to not be for naught.

Even knowing the danger that you would soon be walking into, you had a spring in your step as you climbed down the stairs and back down onto the dirt road you had been travelling on. Looking around, you saw Shen standing by a few horses and made your way over to him. Shen grabbed the reins of one of the horses, leading it up to you as soon as he noticed your approach.

“You got one for me too?” you asked, taking the proffered reins from him.

“We both have danger ahead in our paths,” he answered. “You may no longer be Kinkou, but you are still an important ally.”

His considerate nature made you smile. “I wish you luck, Shen. We’ll both need it.”

He nodded. “Jhin must be stopped, although I am under no delusion that this will be easy.”

You looked back over your shoulder at the lone wooden trailer. “Are you going to go and see him now?”

At Shen’s assent, you began to climb onto your horse. You felt like you had to leave before Zed was freed from his temporary cage; you knew that it would be harder to leave if you saw his face again. You would just have to hope that he would keep his promise and come find you after this was all over.

“Stay safe, Shen. I hope you can find Akali before she’s in under her head.”

Forcing a smile through your worry, you kicked your horse into motion and began to speed up the hill as Shen made his way over to Zed. You kept your focus on the road ahead of you, knowing you would need all of your focus on the arduous task you had assigned yourself.

Nothing was simple when you were dealing with the Navori Brotherhood. They were secretive, preferring to kill and intimidate from the shadows. For such a large and well-connected group, they left almost no tracks of their activities behind.

You had been travelling for weeks, following the tiniest hints that you were able to pick up, feeling like you were grasping at straws more often than not. Even with all your skill and experience, you were struggling to find the one clue that you needed to lead you to the person that had freed Jhin.

It was somewhat of a blow to your pride that your eventual lead came entirely by chance. You had taken to walking around towns at night, as that was when the brotherhood seemed to be most active. You had been unlucky that night, and had been heading back to your inn for the night when you finally got your lucky break.

“We know you’ve been supplying our opposition with coin. Did you think that the brotherhood wouldn’t discover your treachery?”

You froze in place as you made your way to the corner of the street that you were on, peering out from behind a wall to look upon the scene happening just around the corner. You observed men in all gray cornering a lone man against the dingy wall of an alleyway, the man against the wall stammering and shaking.

“I didn’t… I… I would never–”

“We don’t have time for your lies,” one of the men in gray hissed. “This is your only warning. You’ll be dead before we’ll have to ask again.”

The men wasted no more time, and you ducked back as they turned to head your way. You were narrowly able to hide behind an empty merchandise stand as the men passed by you, talking amongst themselves. Their voices were low and they passed by quickly, so you couldn’t hear much of what they were saying, but a brief mention of heading back to the base was enough to catch your interest.

You waited until they were most of the way down the street before you crept out of hiding and began to trail after them. They didn’t seem to be anyone of a higher position in the organization, judging by how easy it was to trail them without being noticed. They walked towards the south exit, looking like they were heading out of town.

As you followed behind them, you began to organize your thoughts on the local geography of this part of Zhyun. If you were right, then this path out of town led towards the city of Kashuri. You hadn’t been there for years, but couldn’t recall any increased presence of the brotherhood when you had been there before. You followed the men for another hour, grateful for the cover of night masking your movements.

You were surprised when the men diverted from the path to Kashuri, seemingly headed towards the rocky, mountainous coast. You had never had any reason to travel this way before, so you were walking in blind. It wouldn’t be hard for you to believe that there could be a Navori Brotherhood base in such a remote location; nobody would really have a reason to travel this way, and if they did, the menacing men in gray would have them turning and fleeing for their lives.

Another hour later found you freezing in your tracks as you watched the men approach the tent-lined rocky cliff. It was just early enough in the morning that there was some light rising on the horizon, allowing you to see just how many tents there were. The tents were composed of dull gray-green fabric tied around warped, gnarled tree trunks, so white that it almost looked like they were made of bone.

It was early in the morning, so there weren’t many people out and about, but the sheer number of tents set up along the coast gave you a good idea of their numbers. But the size of their operations was then the least of your concerns as you looked past the tents to see a tall structure rising out of the fog. It looked to be a natural structure, a temple carved from rock and supported by more of the bonelike trunks. You could only see the top of the temple, the lower section lost in dense, swirling fog.

You were tired, having been awake for nearly a full day by this point, but you knew that you had to make your move now. You couldn’t afford to wait and give the whole brotherhood time to wake up. The decision to free Jhin had to have come from the top of the brotherhood, and you were sure that you would find the person you were looking for in the mountain temple. You knew that it would not be easy to confront the leader of the Navori Brotherhood, but it would be even harder if the entire base were awake.

You waited until the men you were following had retreated into their respective tents before you began making your way around the tents and towards the patch of thick fog. As you got closer, you noticed some smaller towers bordering the main temple. You quickly dashed into the fog, staying low to avoid being seen by any potential guards in the smaller towers.

While the fog helped to conceal you, it also worked against you. The farther you walked in the fog, the more you began to suspect that it was unnatural in natural. You could barely see two feet in front of you, and were forced to navigate yourself solely by moving towards the temple that towered out of the fog, as it was the only thing you could see clearly.

The area was deathly silent, but that didn’t mean that you were alone here. You kept vigilant, one hand in front of you to give you warning in case there were any obstacles in your path. There had been nothing for a while, until your palm finally hit something solid.

Feeling along the surface, you realized that you had finally found yourself at the base of the rock that led to the temple. Looking upwards, you could just barely see the peak of the temple, the fog so thick around you that most of your vision was heavily obscured. You carefully began to circle the building, eventually coming upon a steep set of stairs that would take you to the top of the mountainous temple.

You started to ascend the stairs, the fog beginning to thin out the higher up you went. You still didn’t see anyone around, but that didn’t mean that you could let your guard down. As you emerged from the fog, you looked out at the too-peaceful scene before you.

The top of the mountain was quiet, and would have been almost serene if you didn’t know that it was manned by the most violent terrorist organization Ionia had known in many years. A stone path bordered by green grass led up to a short set of stairs leading up to the temple itself. The opening to the temple was a large archway, but it was too far away for you to see inside the temple from where you stood. Looking around, you saw wildflowers growing in small patches, as well as a gently flowing fountain made of rock.

The temple itself was in stark juxtaposition to the tranquil area that surrounded it, made up of rocky walls and large bone-white tree trunks that climbed the walls of the temple like ivy. You were entranced by the grim temple, but your fascination proved a weakness as you took a step forward, only to be grabbed from behind.

Instantly, your battle instincts took over as you unsheathed one of your daggers, stabbing it into the shoulder of the man who had grabbed you, pulling it back out and flipping away from him. The man cried and dropped to one knee, clutching at his heavily-bleeding shoulder. He was dressed like the other men, a lower-level member of the brotherhood most likely.

Almost immediately, you found yourself surrounded by men in gray from every direction. Cursing your luck, you got into your usual battle stance and got to work. You didn’t give the men the opportunity to attack first, darting out at the man closest to you and slashing at his neck, forcing him to back up or face losing his head. Your initiation seemed to spur the men into action, as they all began to advance on you, weapons at the ready.

They had a distinct numbers advantage on you, but that didn’t mean that you were helpless. The men seemed to rely on brute strength, and were all packed with muscle, which you were able to exploit with your speed as you darted around them, dodging attacks while getting jabs of your own in.

Soon, the stone walkway was painted with the blood of the men, but still more came at you. You were confident in your own skills, but you were well aware that you couldn’t hope to best the entire Navori Brotherhood, even on your best day. Your downfall came too quickly for your liking, a shuriken clipping your shoulder and startling you enough for you to make a slight positioning error, one that your foes pounced on immediately, grappling you and tackling you to the ground, each of your limbs held down by one of the men.

A man with a bloody cut on his cheek and a slash across his collarbone leaned down towards you. “And what would a girl like you be doin’ here?”

You didn’t like the way he said the word girl, but you didn’t intend to answer him either way. You glared at him, hoping that would send a clear enough message in the place of words.

“Well? Who wants to do it?” the man barked. “Ain’t no point in keepin’ her alive!”

You could do little but struggle vainly under the hold of the men, unable to move any more than a pinky finger. You looked around, desperately searching for anything that could help your current situation, but it was hard to see anything past the masses of men in gray. You had to be realistic about your chances of getting out of this, and things were not looking good.

You were considering your options when a voice rang out above the others from over the temple entrance.

“Stop!”

You assumed that the man who had called out was a higher rank than the group of men that surrounded you, because they froze immediately in place without question. Just who was it that had called out? You could hear the voice, but you couldn’t see the man, your vision blocked by the men that surrounded you.

“Bring her here!” the man demanded. “Our lord wants to see her!”

You were hauled to your feet and dragged towards the temple as you continued to try and access your options. You had no idea what this lord of theirs could want with you. The Navori Brotherhood did not waste time idly, so there had to be some reason for their leader to want to see you, but you couldn’t fathom what that reason could be. If they wanted to interrogate you, that could easily have been done by someone of lower rank. So why would the leader go to the trouble of meeting with you themself?

You didn’t bother resisting; there were too many men surrounding you to make escape easy, and besides, you couldn’t allow yourself to pass up this chance to discover the identity of the person that had ordered Jhin freed from his prison. So you went along with the men, unsure of what exactly it was that you were heading towards.

You were dragged through the large archway that led into the temple, finding yourself in an entryway of sorts, the walls bare except for the usual deathly white branches that wound their way up the walls. The room you were in was small and led to another room farther in, although all you could see in the room ahead of you was what looked to be the beginnings of a staircase.

When you arrived at the entrance to the next room, the men let go of you at last, tossing you into the room. You landed roughly on the floor, turning back to glare at the men who now stood in the way, blocking the exit. You were calculating your next move, but a call of your name from behind you stopped you in your tracks.

You turned slowly around, and were unable to believe your eyes. The room was large, the walls tall and gray, with branches hanging from the ceiling. The central focus in the room was a short staircase that led up to an ornate chair. The tops of the stairs were decorated with simple bowls on either side that burned brightly with fire. As ominous as the room was, it could not compare with the terror you felt as your attention was drawn to the figure that sat on the throne, staring smugly down at you.

“Master Kusho…?” you questioned, unable to keep the shock you felt out of your voice.

The man before you looked much older than you remembered him as and carried a sinister aura that wasn’t there before, but you had no doubt that you stood before Shen’s father and former leader of the Kinkou. You stared in disbelief as you tried to make sense of what you were looking at; Master Kusho was alive, there was no doubt of that. But how was this possible?

“But you died…” you stammered with incredulity.

Kusho looked unimpressed as he levelled a haughty look your way. “The dull question of a nobody. It is a wonder any master took you on.”

You bristled at the insult, still too in shock to form the words for a reply. You had presumed him dead, killed by Zed so long ago, only to find out that he was alive, and appeared to be the head of the Navori Brotherhood. But that meant…

“Why did you free Jhin?” you questioned angrily. “You were the head of the Kinkou… I thought you cared about Ionia!”

“You misunderstand,” Kusho sneered. “It is because I care for Ionia that I command the Navori Brotherhood now.”

“You care for power, not Ionia!” you yelled back at him, your anger building up as you stared at him, not seeing any hint of remorse in his smug visage.

“Power is what is required to unify Ionia,” Kusho replied dismissively. “If you are looking for someone to blame, then look to your precious Usan.”

Your breath hitched at the mention of Zed, and it did not go unnoticed by the man before you as his patronizing grin only grew wider at your plight. As you glared at him, your eyes were drawn to either side of his chair, where two tall, imposing statues of Kusho himself sat, almost looking as if they were also looking down on you with their stone eyes. You never could have imagined that the proud, pious Master Kusho could turn into the cruel, vicious man before you.

“Zed convinced me to fake my death, that day in Thanjuul. Then we were free to use the forbidden magics of the Kinkou, and the Kinkou could remain pure in its mission.”

He was explaining the events like it was a reasonable decision, like it was a decision that was easy for you to understand. But he was acting like the Kinkou was some unrelated party to him, and that pissed you off.

“And what about Shen? He thinks that his father is dead!” you retorted.

“Shen’s father is dead,” Kusho replied coldly. “He was never strong enough to be my son in the first place.”

How could he say that? Shen was still struggling with his father’s death, even all these years later, while Kusho didn’t even care. Your heart hurt for Shen; his father had deceived him without batting an eye, all in the name of power. And clearly Kusho wasn’t the only deceiver, nor the one who had come up with the idea to fake his death in the first place; that honor rested solely with Zed.

“But he never…” you trailed off, unable to stomach the fresh waves of betrayal that washed over you.

Kusho seemed to know where your thoughts were heading as he snorted smugly. “That fool swore to me on his honor that he would not reveal our deception. And it seems that Zed values his honor above you and Shen both. A pity.”

And here you thought that you had finally begun to get closer to Zed again. But all that time, he held this secret close to his chest. Every time you had confronted him about killing Kusho, he hadn’t denied it, continuing to let you believe the lie. And now that you knew what had become of Kusho, you weren’t convinced that everyone wouldn’t have been better off if he had actually died that day.

But even through the hurt you felt, you realized that he hadn’t properly answered the question that had brought you here.

You dared to step closer to the raised platform, and Kusho didn’t so much as flinch from his position atop his throne. “Why did you free Jhin?”

Kusho stood up at last, and with a quick hand motion, you were grabbed from behind by the men who had been at the door. You struggled, but your daggers had been taken from you in the previous fight, so you were left with few options and forced to watch Kusho move about the room.

He approached a short pillar that sat just behind his chair, picking up a small blue box that had sat there. Holding the box as if it was a treasure, he began to descend the stairs, walking towards you.

You thought that he had looked bad from his throne, but he looked even worse up close. He was thin, thinner than he had ever been before, the skin of his face stretched almost too thinly over his face. His eyes were a chilling shade of gray, the whites of his eyes now black, which you could only assume was a product of the forbidden shadow magic he had obviously consumed.

He came to a stop a few feet from you, the swirling black liquid in the box he held unnerving you. “Without the war, the people forget that they must be afraid. To unite Ionia under my rule, I must give this land something to fear.”

You couldn’t hold your tongue. “Jhin destroyed the entire port of Nanthee! Hundreds lost their lives for your twisted plans!”

“The lives of peasants do not concern me, and the people believe that Nanthee was destroyed by foreign foes. Just a few more attacks on the larger cities and then all of Ionia will bow to my leadership,” Kusho explained remorselessly.

“You would kill Ionia to unite it?” you replied lowly. “You’re sick. Truly sick.”

“You may yet see things from my point of view,” he said, not looking at you, but instead at his men. “Hold her still.”

A third man approached you, and for some reason stood just off to the side, allowing Kusho the room to stand before you.

“Zed is making his way here as we speak, and I have no use for a disobedient apprentice,” Kusho stated disdainfully, while your heart soared at the news that Zed was on his way. “You should never have come here. But now that you have, I will take the opportunity to break you.”

You couldn’t ask for clarification as the man that was on standby grabbed your face with both hands, forcing your jaw open as Kusho and his unsettling box got closer. You began to panic as Kusho started to tilt the box towards your open mouth, but try as you did, you were locked in place.

“We will see how you handle the magic of the ancients,” Kusho said cruelly. “I may have you replace Zed after I kill him… if you live.”

With that, Kusho began to pour the thick, repulsive black liquid down your throat. It looked like ink, and the taste burned your throat as you tried desperately to spit it out. Unfortunately, the men had no intention of letting you spill the liquid magic, as your mouth was forcibly closed, your throat pressed on until you were forced to swallow the unpalatable substance.

Immediately, the men let you go and you fell to the floor, your whole body burning with the worst pain you had ever felt. You wanted to try and throw up the liquid, but your strength was rapidly leaving you as your body began to convulse, your grip on consciousness weakening more and more by the second.

“Leave us,” you heard Kusho instruct his men. “I will handle Zed alone.”

You wanted to fight, to try and warn Zed of what he was walking into, but you found that you didn’t even have the strength to hold onto consciousness anymore as you felt your world fall into painful darkness.

If he was being honest, Zed would have promised you anything in that moment to get you to kiss him. While you had been friends for a long time in your youth, Zed had always had a hard time trying to decipher how you truly felt about him. When he had kissed you and been rejected, he had closed himself off to the possibility that you had any interest in being with him.

When he had left the Kinkou that day, he was too blinded by anger to pay much attention to how much he was hurting you. Thinking back on it, he felt like such an idiot. You had finally become a Kinkou apprentice, the thing you had wanted all your life, and he had abandoned you right after you told him. At the time, your announcement had stung him, a bitter reminder that even you were on the side of the Kinkou, and not him.

He was too young and foolish at the time to understand that you had not seen the horrors that he had. All you had known was the Kinkou base in Thanjuul, so it wasn’t fair of him to expect you to understand the negatives of the Kinkou doctrine like he did when you had never been given the opportunity to do so.

In the year he was gone, he wanted he see you, to send a letter, but he couldn’t bring himself to do either. He tried to justify his inaction with how busy he had been forming his shadow order and fighting against the Noxian invaders, but he couldn’t fool himself with his own excuses. Beyond his guise of being too busy, he knew that he was trying to hide the truth; that he thought that he didn’t deserve to see you after what he had done to you.

The war efforts were a good distraction, but not good enough to keep his thoughts entirely away from you. He had a full year to live with his regrets as he continued to stay away, at least until that day at the temple. He could not beat Noxus without the Kinkou’s box of ancient shadow magic, that much was obvious. And he would do whatever he had to do in order to get it.

That day, Kusho had followed him down into the catacombs of the temple, intent on convincing his former student to return to the Kinkou, but Zed was intent on the opposite. If Kusho were to fake his death and assume control of the Navori Brotherhood, then the Kinkou could still remain balanced, and Zed would be free to take the Tears of the Shadow with Kusho’s blessing. Zed knew that he was making himself an enemy of the Kinkou with his actions, but he would do anything to save Ionia, even if you and Shen believed that he had killed Master Kusho. After all, he had already done so much to hurt you, what was one more betrayal on top of the others?

He believed that he was doing the right thing, destroying any hope of a relationship with his former friends in order to protect Ionia. He was firm in his decision, and was staring out at the chaos of the temple, about to turn and leave the scene when he caught sight of you.

You looked weary, which was understandable given the trauma that Zed had inadvertently caused you. He was expecting you to walk back down to the monastery, but was surprised when you turned and began to make your way into the trees. The scene was so familiar to him that it spurned his feet into motion as he headed into the forest as well. Maybe it had been simple nostalgia that had him following you to the spot where you had trained together so many times, but Zed didn’t stop to question his own motives.

Zed knew that he had been too selfish, thinking that he could have the shadow magic in his grasp and you by his side. He had been desperate and stupid, thinking that his kiss could make you want to leave with him that day. As much as it hurt to have you believe he had killed his former master, he could not break his promise to Kusho. To get the power he needed, he would have to let you go.

In the ten years it had been since he had seen you, he was never fully able to keep you out of his mind. He wondered where you were, what you were doing, and in darker times, wondering if you had survived the war with Noxus at all. His shadow order, the Yanléi, had only grown in numbers, and he certainly had the power and influence to discover your whereabouts, alive or dead, but he never did.

Part of him wanted to bite the bullet and do whatever he had to do to find you and make sure that you were alive, if only for his own peace of mind. But if you were alive, then that invited many other concerns that he wasn’t sure he wanted to think about.

It was not against Kinkou doctrine for members of the Order to marry or have children. Children of the Kinkou usually went on to become Kinkou themselves, just as had been the case with Shen. Just as quickly as he allowed himself to think he may see you again, the excitement turned sour in his stomach as he pictured you with a husband and child, and then his curiosity all but abandoned him.

You weren’t his, it had been made quite clear to him the last time he had seen you that you didn’t want to be with him. It had been ten years; it was pitiful for him to be so concerned about where you were in life. He should just have been happy enough to know that you were alive, anything more than that wasn’t his concern.

He had almost convinced himself that you would remain out of his reach until that night on the bridge. He had been tailing Shen as his former friend investigated leads into Jhin’s whereabouts, and had been watching Shen’s former student dangle a man from a bridge when a figure began to approach the scene. What looked to Zed to be a monotonous exchange quickly attracted his attention when the stranger stepped into the light of the moon, revealing a face that he hadn’t seen since that moment in the forest ten years prior.

It was hard for him to believe that he had found you again, even days later in the market in Kotha as he watched your group question merchants. He had kept his focus on Shen, and that had been his downfall as you had cornered him in an alleyway, assumedly mistaking him for a spy.

In that short interaction, he was able to see just how much you had changed since he had last seen you. You were more confident than you ever had been, and he had found himself impressed that you had managed to trick him into believing that you were a simple courtesan when you had pushed him into the alleyway. When you had stormed out of the alley, frustrated with him, he couldn’t bring himself to follow after you.

The next few days, he found his eyes drawn to you, though he couldn’t bring himself to reveal himself and approach you. It wasn’t unthinkable that you would be helping Shen track down Jhin, but he was still surprised to see you. It almost felt like rubbing salt in his wounds to see that you were still as pretty as you had always been, and still as uninterested in him as ever. He supposed that this was his punishment for his deceptions, being stuck so close to his former friends while knowing they despised him.

He had been standing close by as you and Shen entered the elder’s residence to deal with the likely-grotesque bodies of Jhin’s victims. Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get any closer, Zed busied himself with looking around the small port town for any signs of Jhin. As he walked around town, he began to notice something odd; along with the simple paper lanterns that were strung up on wires around the town, there were also large crimson lanterns that struck a sinister chord of familiarity within him.

Quickly climbing onto a nearby roof, he pulled one of the bulky lanterns towards him, pulling the top off to look inside. It was with a spark of irritation as Zed confirmed his suspicions; the lantern was a bomb. And there were hundreds of identical ones strung up all over the town.

Abandoning the lantern, Zed made his way to higher ground, scaling a higher rooftop as his eyes began to search the crowd. If the whole town was wired to explode, then there was no doubt that Jhin would have to be here somewhere. The lanterns were not just a flashy display; Jhin was testing the limits of what he could do, and likely intended to use the chaos to cover his escape. The lanterns lined every street, leading up to a docked boat at the end of the wooden dock.

Before Zed could consider a plan of attack, his gaze was drawn to a single figure in the crowd. An unremarkable figure in the eyes of the people milling about the street, but not in Zed’s eyes. It was Jhin, he was certain of it; his suspicions confirmed as he realized the man was staring back at him.

Without a thought to anything else, Zed dove down, shedding his disguise as he chased after Jhin, who had fled the moment that Zed had given chase. As he used his shadow dash to try and close the gap, he heard Shen’s voice behind him as his former friend angrily chased after him.

Zed tried to warn Shen about the bombs as he kept on Jhin’s tail, but his warnings fell on deaf ears; Shen was too distracted by his anger to stop and listen to Zed’s words. As they reached the end of the dock, their time ran out. Jhin gleefully proclaimed his victory as he boarded the departing ship, and then Zed realized he was exactly where Jhin wanted him to be.

The spark had been ignited, and explosions rang out as the lanterns began to detonate. Watching the town become engulfed in explosive blasts snapped Zed’s focus back to his own situation. The lanterns lined the entire dock, including the section above his and Shen’s heads. Without giving it a second thought, Zed threw himself at Shen, sending them both into the water below as colorful explosions detonated over their heads.

The ship that Jhin was on had set sail as the explosions decimated the town, and while it was slowly getting farther away, Zed knew it was still within range of his shadow step. If he used it now, he could catch up to Jhin and take him out like he desperately wanted to. But as he swam in place, he realized that Shen had yet to crest the surface of the water, so he instead dove under the water to grab his sinking friend, pulling him back with him onto the beach. Jhin had gotten away, but he wasn’t willing to let Shen die just to catch the golden demon.

As Zed watched the boat get farther and farther away, Shen rose, spirit blade in hand and ready to strike. The destruction around them; this was why he and Shen needed to work together. They would never catch Jhin working apart like this.

But once again, Zed’s words would fall on deaf ears. Shen was too angry as he insisted that the town had only been destroyed because Zed was there to be Jhin’s audience. Zed had tried to make Shen think about who Jhin was working for, hoping that his friend would seek out the truth that Zed’s honor bound him to conceal, but Shen would hear none of it.

As they fought, Zed thought of another option. They needed to work together, that was an absolute fact. But Shen was stubborn and bitter, though not without cause. His last chance to get Shen’s cooperation was to put the power in Shen’s hands. So as they fought, Zed put less effort into his strikes, and took more hits. As Shen’s last blow sent him into unconsciousness, Zed hoped that his capture would be the final push Shen needed to agree to join forces with him to take down Jhin.

Zed wasn’t surprised to wake up in a wooden cart, strung up by his wrists and shirtless. It wasn’t comfortable, but he had been in worse situations. Shen had been thorough; Zed could immediately feel that his connection to the shadows had been blocked by the paper talismans that had been pasted all over his wooden prison.

His mind could only be so occupied by Jhin before thoughts of you crept up. You had undoubtedly been in the town when it had exploded, but he didn’t consider for one second that you hadn’t made it out. The skill he had seen you demonstrate before told him all he needed to know about your capabilities. Then the question on his mind became whether or not you would visit him in his cell.

Your conversation from a few days prior had ended on a decidedly unfinished note, and while Zed wanted the opportunity to speak with you again, he wasn’t sure if or when that chance would come. He had only spoke with you for a moment, so he had no real way of knowing just how much your personality had changed since he had last seen you.

It was well into the night by the time you had finally come to see him. He was surprised when instead of saying anything, you had offered him your water, which he couldn’t refuse with how dry his throat felt. He tried to search your face for any insights on how you were feeling, but your face had remained stubbornly neutral. However, that hadn’t lasted long.

It was another bitter pain in his chest to discover that you hadn’t been Kinkou in a long time, but you still had no interest in being at his side. You had freely aired all your grievances with him, while he couldn’t muster any words in his defence. And why should he? Everything you said was indisputable; he knew he had let you down several times over, but hearing it from your lips made the sting of his past actions even more potent.

When you left, the air felt sour with regret. Zed sighed as he tried in vain to position himself so his arms would ache a little less. Your anger with him was justified, but even though he knew it was unlikely, he couldn’t help but find himself wanting to see your smile again, to talk with you like you used to when you were both younger.

You had come to see him again the next afternoon, and Zed found himself almost stunned by your change in demeanor. When he had expected more anger and hatred, you had given him a taste of how the two of you had been many years before. Zed found his guard lowering at last, at least until you announced your intentions to seek out the person who had freed Jhin from his cage.

He had been trying fruitlessly to lead Shen down that path, as then the truth could be uncovered without breaking his promise to Kusho, but he hadn’t anticipated you taking up the cause in Shen’s stead. He knew very well what lay at the end of your quest, but honor bound his tongue. Kusho was not a weak man in terms of both power and resources, and would spare no cost to maintain his rule over the brotherhood, as well as his closely-guarded secrets.

Zed himself intended to seek out Kusho after Jhin was captured, with or without Shen, but even with the skill you possessed, Zed was concerned. He knew Jhin was first priority, so he forced away any thoughts of abandoning his current cause to stay by your side, but that didn’t mean he felt good about letting you go down this road alone.

He found himself all too willing to agree to your request, and not just to get you to kiss him. He hadn’t thought that he would hear you ask him to come find you once this was all over, and even knowing that he was not the caliber of man that deserved your company, he had agreed. He had made the promise to you, and then you had kissed him. He had no choice but to watch as you left, the chains on his wrists feeling even more restrictive as they stopped him from pulling you back to him when all he wanted to do was kiss you just a bit longer.

Shen came soon after you had left, and the atmosphere in the small wooden room turned serious as talks turned to Jhin. But nothing was ever easy with the two former friends; Jhin needed to die, or else there would be a risk of this happening again. The only way Ionia could be safe was if the barely-human monster was somewhere that he couldn’t escape from, and death was a box that Zed was eager to put him in.

But Shen didn’t agree. The only way that they would work together would be if Zed agreed to capture Jhin alive. He was not Kinkou, and he didn’t agree with Shen’s pacifism, but he had no choice but to agree to Shen’s demands, because with the chains on his wrists and the magic-binding talismans surrounding him, he had no way to escape of his own power.

They were to set off to Piltover immediately, on the trail of not only Jhin, but Shen’s former apprentice, who was most likely rushing headfirst into danger beyond what she could imagine. When they arrived in Piltover, the first merchant Zed had asked had admitted to seeing Akali arrive a month prior, so they would have to work fast.

As they begun to follow Akali’s tracks, Zed tried again to entice Shen into investigating the person who had released Jhin and continued to fund his terrorism, but to no avail. He had pushed too hard on the subject, and Shen had become suspicious, accusing him of revealing Jhin’s location to someone. Zed had no choice but to drop the matter; no matter how much he wanted his friend to learn the truth, he could not force him on that path, and he could not tell him the truth himself and break his oath to Kusho.

Jhin’s trail led them to Piltover’s theatre district; it was only natural that someone as dramatic as Jhin insisted upon a literal stage as his battleground. Zed and Shen dashed down the isle of an empty, abandoned theatre, breaking through a window and finding themselves exactly where they needed to be.

They were high above Piltover, landing on an abandoned train track that now looked like something out of a nightmare. Gnarled trees sat atop monstrous works of machinery, each equipped with drills for arms and outfitted with several rocket launchers. Clearly a lot of work had gone into the planning of this scene; Jhin never did things half-heartedly, not when it concerned his art.

Jhin himself sat on an old mining cart, rifle in one hand as he stared in the direction of the two men. Hanging from one of the trees behind the golden demon was Akali, her wrists bound by rope that was tied to a thick branch of the tree. Zed couldn’t tell if Akali was conscious or not, but she seemed to be unharmed, at least for now.

Shen wasted no time, diving at Jhin with his divine blade despite Zed’s warning that this was clearly a trap. Zed readied himself for the likely fight to come as he watched Shen tear into Jhin, who burst into cogs and wires. A mechanical dummy dressed as its creator.

As Shen discovered the ruse, the sky lit up with explosions of color as Jhin descended from the sky on a raised platform, mechanical arms in the shape of opening flowers lowering at his side. Zed slinked in the shadows as Jhin began to taunt Shen, alluding to the great secret that Shen had yet to figure out for himself.

As Jhin aimed his pistol at Akali’s face, Zed struck, tossing a large shuriken out as Shen leaped up to cut the supports on Jhin’s platform. The flower-like metal appendages struck out, one pinning Zed to one of a tree as another knocked Shen to the ground. In his usual overconfidence, Jhin had dodged Zed’s shuriken as he made his way to Shen’s prone figure, gun at the ready. But Jhin had failed to account for one thing… Zed’s shuriken hadn’t been aimed at him.

Akali, her ropes cut free by the shuriken, charged at the masked killer, landing a strong punch to the surprised Jhin. Grabbing his gun, she knocked him down and took aim, only stopped by Shen’s shout. Where Akali backed off, Zed quickly took her place in front of the crazed artist, the hidden blade in his gauntlet raised high.

Zed demanded that Jhin tell them now he escaped his prison, who had freed him. Even if he could not tell Shen himself, he could still force the truth out of Jhin’s mouth.

But Zed’s last selfish attempt to have his old friend learn the truth regarding his father was doomed to fail. Jhin remained coy as he plainly refused to state who had freed him, clearly taking pleasure in denying Zed the information he desperately wanted Shen to hear.

“Think of it this way, Zed,” the artist spoke calmly. “I was set free, but now that means you’re free too.”

Zed’s frustration boiled over as he tossed Jhin to the ground at Shen’s feet. As irritated as it made him to admit, Jhin was right. By freeing Jhin, Kusho had shown Zed that he was no longer worthy of his loyalty. He knew that Kusho was ambitious, but Ionia would be recovering from Jhin’s antics for years to come, all for Kusho’s cruel need to gain more power. He would have to end this now, this confrontation had been coming for some time. Zed dove from the bridge, leaving Shen and Akali to deal with Jhin as he began his journey back to brotherhood headquarters in Zhyun.

As he approached the base camp of the Navori Brotherhood, Zed reflected harshly on his own decisions. He had gotten to where he was now by lying and betraying those closest to him. Shen’s friendship was out of his reach, and he could only blame himself. He deserved to have Shen believe that he had killed Kusho as a punishment for his selfishness. He still had a hard time believing that you wanted to see him, considering you were still under the belief that he had killed Kusho as well.

He didn’t see any sign of you as he snuck around the camp and began to scale the rocky mountain face that would take him to Kusho’s throne room. He could only hope that you hadn’t found your way to this place; you would remain ignorant of the truth, but you would be safe. Kusho was dangerous, but Zed did not go into fights that he knew he couldn’t win. He would kill Kusho, and then he would try to keep his promise to you, as much as he felt that he didn’t deserve your company or your kindness.

Zed climbed over the ledge, walking the familiar path to the stony temple that Kusho was usually found in. As he stepped into the temple, it felt like this part of his life, the part where he had been bound to the brotherhood, was coming to an end. He owed a lot to Kusho, but not enough to look the other way when his former master released mass murderers on Ionia in order to bend the people to his will. Zed had taken the shadow ichor to save Ionia, but Kusho had allowed himself to be corrupted by the draw of its power. It was probably for the best that Shen wasn’t by his side, remaining unburdened by the truth regarding his father.

“You may have evaded my army, but you cannot hide your presence from me, Zed,” Kusho spoke from his place atop his throne, eyes dark and sinister, no trace of the humanity he used to possess residing within their depths. Zed’s apprentice, Kayn, sat on the steps below Kusho, watching the situation unfold silently. “You did not tell Shen of our deception.”

“I gave you my word on my honor, Lord Kusho,” Zed answered, feeling dissatisfied.

“But you were trying to get Shen to investigate into who released Jhin?” Kusho pressed, which Zed could not deny. “And now you plan to call me a fiend? To tell me that I made the wrong decision when I released Jhin?”

Zed felt his anger rising at Kusho’s total lack of care for the loss of human life he had facilitated, for the potential loss of his own life, as well as Shen’s. Kusho was truly human in form only, his heart warped and black with his hunger for power.

“Jhin reduced Nanthee to ashes!” Zed shouted. “He tried to kill me, to kill your own son! If you intended to betray me, there are others assassins you could have chosen!”

Kusho waved a hand dismissively. “You were more my son than Shen ever was.”

“You were supposed to keep Ionia safe from the shadows,” Zed argued. “Not let our people die for your ambitions!”

Kusho stood up, looking down at Zed from beside one of the statues of himself. “Ionia forgets the horrors of war. They forget that they need my protection. I am simply reminding them of what fear tastes like. The word has already spread of the attack on Nanthee. A few more attacks and nobody will question my will.”

“I chose this path to do what I could not in the Kinkou!” Zed said as he thought of all he had lost to give himself to the shadows. You and Shen had been lost to him for so long, only for Kusho to betray what he thought had been their shared ideals for protecting Ionia. “By taking a life, I could save many more. But you do not place value on the lives of innocents any longer.”

“Nobodies and peasants will bow to me or they do not deserve my protection,” Kusho asserted haughtily.

“I was once a peasant and a nobody,” Zed argued, and Kusho only cackled cruelly in response.

“And you do not bend to my will, so you must be replaced,” Kusho sneered, turning his focus to the raven-haired young man that had continued to sit by silently. “Kayn, kill Zed and become the new master of the shadows.”

Kayn slowly stood up, large scythe in hand. Zed stood still, observing his friend and apprentice as dark shadows swirled around his form. Zed did not move to take a defensive stance as Kayn began to descend the stairs and approach him. He knew that there were many things that could happen in the next moment, but he chose to keep his faith in Kayn and remain still.

“Many of our order wait outside,” Kayn drawled darkly. “They have no loyalty to you, and intend to serve me and Lord Kusho. They have no honor…”

As Kayn spoke, he turned, standing at Zed’s side and smirking up at Kusho, his scythe held proudly at his side. In that moment, Zed knew his faith was not misplaced, not this time.

“…but I know who my master is. And he taught me honor,” Kayn finished, turning to address Zed directly. “What should I do about the traitors to our Order that wait outside?”

“Kill them,” Zed said simply, and that was all that Kayn needed to hear.

“I’ll wait for you outside,” Kayn replied, leaving the room as Zed prepared himself for the fight to come, staring down Kusho as he would a corrupted nature spirit that needed to be put down.

“Your student is more obedient than mine ever were,” Kusho growled darkly as he ripped off his top, exposing the dark tattoos crafted from shadow magic that covered his torso and arms. “But thankfully, I have one other promising apprentice.”

Kusho reached a hand over to a short string, pulling it down as Zed watched, unsure of where this was heading. The pulled string caused a curtain at the back of the room to raise, a curtain that Zed couldn’t recall seeing on any of his previous visits to this place. And as the curtain rose, he immediately knew why that was.

Your prone body laid in the far corner of the room, and it was immediately obvious to Zed what had happened to you. You were unmoving, dark shadows swirling around your body as jet black veins ran along any patch of exposed skin Zed could see, large vine-like veins of shadow crawling up your cheeks and over your eyes. You had to be alive; the shadows would have abandoned your form otherwise as the shadows had no interest in the dead. But from what he could tell, you were close to death’s door, the shadow ichor clearly too much for your body to handle.

Kusho stared down at your dying form with visible smugness. “Did I give her too much? I have no need of an apprentice that can’t handle that much of the shadow ichor.”

“You…” Zed growled. It wasn’t too late to save you, to purge the shadows from your body, but he knew that if he went to you, Kusho would strike him down, and then you were both dead. He would have to go through Kusho to get to you, and if Kusho’s cruel laughter was anything to go by, he was very aware of Zed’s predicament.

“You left her behind all those years ago, but now she’ll have the shadows for company… if she survives,” Kusho sneered, raising the box of shadow ichor to his own mouth and taking a long drink of it.

Immediately, the sheer amount of shadow magic in his body reacted with the excess ichor he was consuming and Kusho’s pale skin turned a sickly blue-gray as four wing-like appendages burst out of his back. Kusho didn’t waste a second more, opening his mouth and spewing out a rush of shadow magic that Zed quickly jumped to the side to dodge. If Zed had any doubts of his former master’s remaining humanity, they had all been answered as he gazed at the monster before him. He would have to make this quick if he had any hope of saving your life.

“You were a weakling,” Kusho growled as he sent more shadow blasts at Zed. “So desperate for approval. You even cried when I gave you the name Usan.”

“You used me!” Zed retorted as he dove out of the path of Kusho’s shadow tendrils, only to find himself surrounded by faces that were all too familiar.

Figures made of Kusho’s shadows surrounded him, bringing him back to the moments that Kusho sought to portray on the faces of Zed’s memories. His mother’s crying face when she came to the temple all those years ago to beg him to come home, Shen’s stern face when he had seen Zed not as a friend, but as his father’s killer, and right in front of him was you, ten years younger than you were now, your expression twisted with despair. The face you had made the day he had told you he was leaving the Kinkou. Your sad, disappointed gaze stuck on him, guilt twisting his insides as he continued to evade Kusho’s attacks.

He sliced through the shadow figures that surrounded him with his hidden blades, the images dissipating into the air. The image of your face did not weaken Zed as Kusho had likely assumed it would; it had only reminded him of just what he was fighting for. You, the real you, depended on him right now as you desperately clung to life. If there was any time to make up for his past mistakes with you, it was now.

“She wanted to be with you, and you could have had her,” Kusho stated in mocking concern. “But you chose to kill and deceive, because you wanted power, just like I want it. You cannot escape your true desires, Zed.”

Zed continued to evade Kusho’s dramatic attacks, emboldening his former master further. “Why have you not attacked me, Zed?” Kusho questioned arrogantly. “Your pitiful honor will not allow you to strike me?”

Zed had been biding his time, waiting patiently as Kusho flashily displayed his powers, but with every move, Kusho’s weakness became clearer. Hardening his resolve, Zed summoned his own shadow clones at last, copies of himself appearing all around the shadow beast that was Kusho.

“Your powers are weakening already,” Zed stated plainly. “You have had these powers for months, but I have spent many years mastering the shadows.”

Kusho caught on to Zed’s assertion with an angered howl, but Zed did not falter.

“I wanted this power, so I let you use me. But you are not my master any longer, and you are not my equal. You should have never thought that you could hope to match me.”

As he finished speaking, Zed dove forward, his numerous shadow clones doing the same as Kusho’s corrupted flesh was pierced from every direction. As he struck the killing blow, Zed was very aware that this was it. He was free of Kusho’s will, but he had also become guilty of the crime that Shen had always believed that he had committed. Any last hopes of reconciliation between them died as Kusho’s body hit the floor, now just looking like a frail old man as the shadows left him.

He could mourn Kusho later; he had a much more pressing issue at the moment. Zed sprinted over to you, noting with bitterness that you looked even worse than you had minutes ago. Your skin was turning black as shadow, and your body felt cold under his touch. He would need to act fast.

Zed began to press down on your chest before pressing his mouth to yours to give you air. He desperately repeated the process for almost a minute before he saw any results. You began to sputter, barely conscious, and he held your body on your side as you began to throw up the inky black shadow magic you had been forced to ingest. As more of the ichor splattered on the floor, the shadows on your skin began to recede as color returned to your skin. At last, you passed out again, exhausted by the ordeal, but alive.

Heaving a sigh of relief, Zed wiped your mouth and chin with a ripped portion of the curtain before gently picking you up in his arms. He spared a glance towards the downed Kusho as he headed to the doorway, but was silent as he passed. The temple lit up in flames as Zed exited, likely a tactic of Kusho’s upon his death.

Kayn was waiting diligently for his master, corpses littering the ground around him. As soon as he saw Zed with you in his arms, Kayn stood up, approaching his master.

“I took out the ones out here, but thousands more are on their way,” Kayn told him before his gaze dropped down to look at you. “Is she okay?”

Zed looked down at you as well; your skin looked better than it had, but he knew that he couldn’t have gotten all of the shadow ichor out of your body. It would be up to you to pull through now, but he knew that he had to get you to safety before he could assess you further.

“She took in a lot of the shadows,” Zed answered simply. “But she’s breathing.”

Kayn frowned, looking torn. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop Kusho. You’d never mentioned her to me so I didn’t know she was important to you.”

Zed shook his head as the two men began their descent from the mountain. “You had no way of knowing. And if you had tried to stop him, Kusho would have seen through our deception.”

Kayn scoffed in annoyance. “That jackass really thought I intended to turn on you.”

“You could have,” Zed admitted. He had told Kayn to get close to Kusho in his stead, knowing that Kusho intended to betray him and take members of his shadow order to do so. Zed trusted Kayn more than any other within his order, but he also knew what the allure of power could make people do.

Kayn did not share Zed’s doubts, looking almost offended by the idea that he could ever betray his master. “You found me when I had been left to die. If you hadn’t taken me in, I would have had nothing. My loyalty and respect is earned, not bought by old fools with undeserved pride.”

Zed quietly considered Kayn’s words as the two walked down the steps that would lead them away from this place forever. They were truly against everyone now, so Kayn’s loyalty was needed now more than ever. The Kinkou, the Brotherhood, and the traitors to his order… they would all be out for his blood now. And now he had brought you into that danger with him. He doubted that you fully understood the danger you put yourself in by associating with him, the danger that would continue to plague you if you stayed by his side.

He sighed to himself. He would have to tell you everything when you woke up, he owed you that much. As much as he wanted you by his side, you deserved the right to make that choice after knowing the full situation. Even if it meant losing you again, Zed would not lie to you. But that would come later; first he had to get you somewhere safe if you had a chance at recovering from the ordeal you had suffered at Kusho’s hands.

You couldn’t breathe. The shadows filled your lungs, your throat… everywhere you had feeling in felt constricted with pain. Your surroundings all faded away, and it was getting hard to even think. The shadows crawled all over you, covering your eyes and ears. They removed all of your senses, demanding all of your attention.

You had no experience with shadow magic; the Kinkou magic you knew was no help in the face of the ancient dark magic. Eventually, your magic stopped responding to your calls as shadowy tendrils slithered over your face, pulsating in a rhythm that was beyond your understanding. You felt lost, unsure if you were conscious or not as you sunk further into the deep, inescapable darkness.

You felt like you were drowning with no way out when there was a sudden pressure on your chest. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling, but it shocked you out of the void you had been tumbling into. In the back of your mind, you realized that someone was by your side. You barely remembered where you were through the pain, leaving you no room to think about who had come to your side.

Your body was moved, leaving you feeling dizzy and nauseated, a familiar feeling in your throat pushing you to open your mouth as you began to retch. The ichor that had tasted awful going down somehow tasted even worse coming back up. Your throat burned from the effort as well as with the lingering effects of the shadow magic. After what felt like forever, your retching stopped. You still felt sick, but you didn’t feel like you were dying.

The shadows that had engulfed you began to recede at last, leaving your body feeling much less restrained. It was a great relief to feel your senses return to you at last, your world expanding out again as you were freed from the captive darkness. The shadows had fled from around your eyes, but you found that you lacked the energy to open them. You wanted to know what had happened and who had saved you, but you couldn’t find the strength, no matter how hard you tried. You wanted to stay awake, but it was no longer within your power to decide that for yourself. You were exhausted, physically and mentally, and you could put off unconsciousness no longer.

Before you were fully awake, your brain began to register the scene around you. You could hear birds chirping and feel a gentle breeze on your skin. You opened your eyes with a short yawn, reaching a hand up to cover your mouth as you surveyed your surroundings.

Your eyes went wide as you noticed just what it was that you had been resting on. Your head had been laying against soft black cloth, and upon opening your eyes, you found Zed’s face just above your own, his eyes closed in sleep. You found yourself staring at his face; the calm expression he carried in sleep was so foreign to how he was when he was awake.

Seeing his face reminded you of just how long it had been since that day where you had kissed him. The black eye Shen had given him had healed, and he looked a lot more at peace than you had ever seen him. As you shifted against him, you realized that he had one arm around you, his hand resting on your hip. Closing your eyes again, you allowed yourself to cuddle against Zed for a few minutes more before your nose couldn’t take it anymore. You weren’t sure how long you had been unconscious for, but the shadow ichor had done you no favors in the smell department.

You slowly began to remove yourself from Zed’s arms, not wanting to wake him up. Looking around, you found that you seemed to be in some sort of small clearing that was surrounded by trees. Zed had been leaning against a tree that bordered the clearing, but other than the two of you, you could see nobody else around. You would have to ask him what had happened when he woke up, but for now, you had bigger priorities.

Looking down at yourself, you grimaced. Your clothing was dirty, covered in dust and a too-hard black residue that must have been dried shadow ichor. Beyond that, your hair felt greasy and tangled.

You realized that you could faintly hear water nearby, and the opportunity was too tempting for you to pass up. You wouldn’t be long; it wouldn’t take too much time to go wash yourself and your clothes off. You didn’t want to wake Zed up anyways; given he had likely rescued you from Kusho, he deserved the rest. You could ask him what happened when he woke up.

Walking through the trees, you were relieved to find a small river that was deep enough to bathe in. Making your way to the water, you happily disrobed, eager to have a chance to feel clean again after all you had been through. The water wasn’t warm, but it wasn’t freezing, which was good enough for your current purpose.

Quickly stripping, you began to wash off your clothes first. The dirt and grass stains came out easy enough, but the shadow ichor was another story. You were able to lighten the dark stains with a lot of scrubbing, but it became clear to you that the ancient magic stains were not going anywhere. It was a shame; you had really liked that top, but you didn’t really want to walk around with the reminder of your ordeal staining your clothing.

After getting your clothing as clean as it could be with your current resources, you hung them up neatly on a tree branch before lowering yourself into the water. Despite its lack of warmth, the water felt heavenly on your grimy skin as you ducked under the water to clean your hair as well. You scrubbed at the patches of dirt on your skin, happy to watch the flecks of grime dissipate into the water.

It couldn’t have been that long since you had been at Kusho’s mercy, but it felt like the calm water was taking years of stress away from you. Then again, it could also be your reunion with Zed that was driving your mood up, especially after discovering that he hadn’t killed Master Kusho all those years ago. After all these years, you finally felt like you had gotten back the thing that had left you feeling like you were missing something.

While you wished that he had told you the truth, you understood why he hadn’t. But going forward, you hoped your relationship could become as close as it had once been again. Knowing Zed, he would require more persuasion with how much of a recluse he had been for so long. But he was clearly amicable to your kisses, and you slyly noted that you wouldn’t mind employing that particular tactic again. It wasn’t hard to admit to yourself that you weren’t satisfied just being his old friend like you had in the past.

As you were contemplating how to go about your plans to approach Zed, your quiet bath was interrupted by the sound of footsteps dashing across the grass. Standing up, you raised an arm to cover your breasts as you turned to face the intruder.

The footsteps stopped as you turned and saw Zed, whose concerned look morphed quickly into surprise as he took in your naked form. It looked like he had been searching around for you; you noted that the desperate look on his face was rather cute. And now that he was here, and you were already naked, the situation you had been hoping for had been dropped right in your lap, and you weren’t willing to let the opportunity pass you by.

Clenching the hand at your side into a fist, nails biting into the skin of your palm, you allowed the slight pain to motivate you into action as you let an inviting smile grace your lips. “Good morning.”

Zed looked taken aback by your forwardness, and it took everything in you to refrain from laughing at his expression. “You weren’t…”

“Sorry,” you apologized, wading to the edge of the river. “I needed a bath, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

Zed nodded, looking ready to turn back. “I’ll wait for you back–”

“Wait!” you called out, and he stopped, but didn’t turn back to face you. You didn’t plan on letting him escape that easily. “You’re here anyways… why not join me?”

Zed was still, a little too still, so you gave it one more shot. “Please?”

He sighed, finally turning to look at you. You didn’t want to scare him off, so you lowered yourself back down into the water before you lowered your arm from your breasts. He began to come closer, and you averted your eyes, staring at some shimmering rocks under the surface of the water as you listened to the sound of Zed disrobing. You were having a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that you and Zed were about to be fully unclothed; you were too old to let this get to you so much, but at the same time, you couldn’t help it.

Your thinking time was cut short as you heard Zed enter the water, ripples making their way to lap against your skin. As you heard him get closer, you found yourself unable to look his way, your cheeks likely red.

Zed didn’t stop until he was at your back, a shiver going down your spine as he leaned down, his mouth right at your ear. “Why won’t you look at me?” he asked, voice huskier than you had ever heard it before. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“I… it is,” you answered quietly.

“Then look at me,” he replied teasingly, and you didn’t resist as he gripped your shoulder, gently turning you around to face him.

You shouldn’t be acting like this. You had killed many people before, so why were you much more nervous now than you had been then? However, that nervousness faded the moment that you looked into Zed’s eyes, half-lidded and focussed on your lips. He looked more attractive than he ever had, and you let your eyes close as he quickly lowered his face to yours to press his lips against your own.

Zed took full advantage of his lack of restraints this time, one of his hands going to the back of your head while the other went down to your hip so he could pull you closer as he kissed you. Your slow reaction time left your arms caught between his own, which gave you the opportunity to place your own hands on his chest, fingers pressed against tight muscles and dark tattoos. Your previous experiences kissing him had not done him justice at all, because you were quickly beginning to feel dizzy from how much intensity he was putting into the kiss.

It also wasn’t helping your focus that being pulled as close to Zed as you had been was giving you just a little bit too much insight into how much he wanted this. You were enjoying his tongue in your mouth, but this had been a long time coming already and you were too impatient to allow things to move slowly. You found yourself wanting to overwhelm him, to see what he looked like when he lost himself fully in you.

You redoubled your efforts in the kiss, meeting a swipe of his tongue with a soft moan as you reached one hand beneath the water to wrap your hand around his hard cock. Zed stiffened at the contact, but didn’t pull away from you, although the responsiveness of his mouth against yours began to suffer when you started running your closed fist up and down his cock. Pleased with the response you were getting from him, you began to stroke him faster and faster, until he pulled away from the kiss at last with a low groan.

“You just can’t wait,” he chastised without malice.

“I’m tired of waiting,” you replied as you continued to stroke him, his eyes closing as he let out a deep breath. “I want you so badly, Zed.”

Zed inhaled sharply, as if your words had cut him, his eyes opening immediately, the intensity of his gaze stilling your hand and making you blush. You were the next one to be surprised as Zed’s hands went to the backs of your thighs, lifting you up and forcing you let go of his cock and grab onto him to keep yourself from falling back-first into the river. You yelped, wide eyes meeting his smug gaze as he began to wade towards the shore.

Once you were back on the grass, you were quickly laid on your back, Zed looking down at you, water dripping off his lower half. He knew that you couldn’t look away from him, and seemed pleased with the attention. You shivered as he ran a hand up your hip, trailing it up your body before closing his fingers around one breast. He began to massage your breast gently while his other hand went between your legs to rub against your clit, and the sensations were making it hard for you to focus on his words as you squirmed underneath him.

“I’ve wanted to see you like this for so long,” Zed admitted. “Are you sure that you want this?”

He was being so unfair, asking you questions while you were barely able to think. The best response you could give was a strained moan of his name, which brought a smirk to his lips as he leaned closer to you, removing his hand from your breast so he could support his own weight as he kissed you. He didn’t let up one bit with the circles he was making with his thumb on your clit, and you couldn’t do much more than moan under his touch, your hands around his neck and grasping at his hair.

“I want you, Usan. Only you, only ever you,” you sighed, staring up into his eyes, watching the way his breath hitched at your words, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t believe what you were saying. You noticed a flush to his cheeks, the sight only endearing him further to you.

“Stop,” he growled weakly in response. “If you keep talking like that, I won’t be able to hold back.”

“Please, Zed,” you whispered, and that was enough.

Your other leg was quickly wrapped around him as his cock sank into you, slowly at first and then faster when he noticed how easily you were taking him in. As he stilled, momentarily distracted by what he was feeling, you felt emboldened, grabbing the stunned Zed’s face and pulling him down so you could kiss him. Zed groaned into your mouth as you ground your hips up as much as you could, a sound that you were all too pleased to hear the usually-serious assassin make.

Zed pulled back from the kiss, panting lightly as he withdrew slightly from you, only to rock back in, the immediate prick of feelings causing you to let out a muted cry. Zed’s impatience was clear as he began to set a fast pace from the start as you tried to fight off the desire to close your eyes, desperate to watch Zed’s face as he stared down at you, eyes dark and hungry.

Soon, the pleasure you were feeling got too much to bear with your eyes open, and not a moment after your eyes were closed, you heard Zed’s voice, closer than he had been before, his lips against your ear as he continued to fuck you.

“I should have found you sooner,” he growled heatedly. “I should’ve had you like this… like I’ve always wanted.”

Zed moved down to suck at your neck, one hand shifting to move your legs higher up on his waist, the shift in angle causing his next thrust to hit even deeper against a spot you didn’t know you had. Combined with a well-timed drag of his teeth against your neck, you were so close to your peak that all you could do was clutch at Zed’s chest and biceps as you desperately moaned his name.

“I won’t let you get away again,” he promised. “I’ve only ever wanted you.”

Where had this Zed been hiding all of these years? The man he was now felt so foreign to everything you knew about your childhood friend, but at the same time, the sentiment behind his words hit such a familiar chord within you. You didn’t want to continue living job to job, with no meaningful companionship. You wanted to be with Zed just as much as he wanted to be with you, and you intended to tell him that as soon as you could form coherent sentences again.

But right now, you just wanted so badly to watch him get off, hoping he was as close as you were. Zed’s thrusts were getting slower, but deeper, and you took that as a sign that he was just as close as you. His cock continued to hit at the spot inside you that was above anything else, making you clench down hard on him, and with a deep groan, he repeated that same motion, watching you moan as your nails dug into his skin.

That was evidently enough for Zed as he stilled after one last push into you, his eyes closing as his jaw locked with tension. Just as you were starting to feel your own chances at orgasm escaping, Zed’s eyes opened, the heedy focus in them making you blush as he stared down at you.

Focussing on his face became difficult as Zed began to gently grind against you as his thumb rubbed at your clit, leaning down to kiss roughly at your neck as your pleasure climbed back up to a peak and you cried out. Zed made every effort to allow you to ride out your orgasm, rubbing slowly against you as he sucked on the side of your neck. You were left audibly panting when he pulled himself off of you at last to sit back on the grass, jerking his head to the side to try and move his sweaty bangs out of his face.

You sat up too, doing your best to ignore the unpleasantly messy feeling you had between your legs as you leaned into him, wrapping your arms around his back as you pressed your face into his neck, revelling in the closeness.

“I’m glad you kept your promise,” you said, voice muffled by his neck.

Zed sighed in response, his arms coming up to return the hug as he rested his chin on your head. “I wasn’t sure if I would. Not until I saw you laying in Kusho’s chamber, nearly dead. You make it hard to leave you alone.”

You were slightly disappointed, but not surprised as you pulled back enough for you to look him in the eyes. “You didn’t want to see me again?”

Zed frowned, looking down at the grass for a moment as you waited for his answer with a clawing unrest in your heart until he spoke up at last. “You deserve a better man than me at your side.”

Swallowing your frustration, you put a hand to his cheek, forcing him to face you. You could see regret in his eyes, as if they were swimming with the years of pain he had endured for the choices he had made. But now that you knew the truth at last, you would not allow him to leave you behind again.

“I’m pretty sure it’s my decision who I want to be with,” you replied teasingly. “You are a good man, whether you admit it to yourself or not.”

“What I’ve done… Shen will become your enemy,” he muttered.

“You let me handle my relationship with Shen,” you replied, frowning at his efforts to try and scare you away. You stared deeply into his eyes, stroking his cheek with your thumb and hoping he would accept what you were saying. “Zed, I love you.”

Zed blinked, his arms around you tightening as you watched his defeated expression melt into contemplation, but you didn’t intend to give him any time to think of more excuses.

“I want an answer, Zed,” you insisted. “I won’t let you go until you answer me, so I hope you’re comfortable.”

You saw a spark of life in his eyes at last as one of his eyebrows rose in a mock challenge. “You know that I can just use the shadows to escape?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, leaning closer, your breasts pressing against his chest. “If you even try–”

Zed smirked at your pouting expression, leaning down to kiss you. You refused to close your eyes, unwilling to allow him to distract you and make good on his teasing threats of escape. After a few seconds, he pulled back, a small smile on his lips.

“I suppose I can’t run away anymore, so I might as well accept it,” he said, your heart skipping a beat at the genuine emotion in his voice. He sighed, not looking at all upset to resign himself to his fate. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

Satisfied with his answer, you closed your eyes as your mouths met again, happily accepting the passion he was putting into the kiss, his arms unwilling to let you go. It had been so long since you had felt a sense of belonging like you had when you had been with Zed when he was Govos, and when he had been Usan. But as you adjusted yourself against him, you realized that you had another problem to deal with. Reluctantly, you pulled back from the kiss, resting your forehead against Zed’s.

“I think we may need another bath,” you laughed. “Maybe several.”

Zed didn’t need any further hints as he picked you up, heading back towards the river, his footsteps only faltering minutely as you decided to press kisses to his neck as he walked. You were glad that your shadow magic-induced sleep had left you feeling well-rested, because you knew that your bath with Zed would likely leave you drained of all the energy you were currently feeling, although you were not complaining one bit.

“How long was I asleep for?” you asked as you pulled your shirt on over your head, relieved that it was at least marginally more dry than it had been when you had hung it on the tree branch.

“A day,” Zed answered as he fastened the straps on his gauntlets, flexing his arm to check that they were properly adjusted. “We’re a few hours away from one of my order’s bases.”

You finished adjusting your own clothing, leaning against a tree while you watched Zed put on the rest of his armor. His hair was dripping water droplets down his neck, and you watched as they rolled to the edge of his scarf, leaving small water stains in their wake.

“Thanks for saving me,” you said as Zed finished dressing himself. “I was too reckless. If you hadn’t been there…”

Zed looked like he had pondered that scenario himself, his gaze stony as he approached you, pulling you into him.

“But I was,” he replied simply.

You reached a hand up to lay on his chest, but jolted in surprise with a gasp when the hand faded into black smoke up to your wrist. Your panic reached Zed immediately as he pulled back to assess the situation, relaxing visibly when he noticed your vapored appendage.

“Calm down,” he said, the lack of any panic in his voice helping to bring your own level of stress down considerably.

You watched as he reached a hand up to yours, your hand returning to its normal solid state as he gently grasped your wrist, wisps of shadow dissipating into the air. When he let your wrist out of his grip, you waited for your hand to dissolve into smoke again, but to your great surprise, it stayed solid.

Zed spoke up again as you rotated your hand at the wrist, looking for anything unusual. “You threw up most of the ichor, but not all of it. It’s not surprising that you would develop some abilities from the amount you still have in your system.”

You were still a little panicked, and Zed gripped your hand, smiling at you with the patience of someone handling a small child. “You’re fine. I’ve had many years to master the shadows, I can teach you how to handle them.”

You let out a quiet laugh. “It’s been a long time since I’ve learned under you.”

“This time without having to hide away,” Zed added. “I can only hope the Kinkou will continue to evolve under Shen’s leadership.”

Hearing Shen’s name now felt bittersweet to you. He would not be so quick to forgive you for shacking up with his father’s murderer, and you couldn’t even tell him that it wasn’t true, because Zed had killed Master Kusho, even if it was many years after he had been believed to. You would shelve your worries about Shen for a later time; for now, you just wanted to sleep somewhere that wasn’t outside.

“You guys ready to go?”

You turned sharply at the new voice that came from behind you. A young man stood at the edge of the trees that bordered the clearing, only wearing clothing on his lower half, a large weapon slung on a harness over one shoulder. A spark of recognition ignited in your mind, a brief memory of seeing him in Kusho’s chamber sending your hand down to where your daggers would be, until you remembered that all of your weapons had been taken when you had been captured. A hand on your shoulder had you looking back to Zed, who shook his head at you, and you stood down, trusting his judgment.

“Thought I’d give ya some alone time,” the man said with a smirk as he walked over to you and Zed. “You seemed like you needed it.”

“Kayn…” Zed replied, sounding tired.

Kayn stopped in front of you, extending a hand towards you. “Name’s Kayn. So you’re Master’s girl?”

You took his hand, unable to help a laugh at his word choice. Looking over at Zed, you relished the awkward look on his face. Grinning happily, you turned back to Kayn.

“I suppose I am,” you answered, letting go of his hand.

“We should head out,” Zed interrupted, taking you by the hand and leaving Kayn to follow behind the two of you as you departed the forest.

Kayn was not one to be deterred, clearly, as he easily caught up to you, walking on your other side. The grin he sent your way was conspiratorial, and he didn’t leave you waiting long to find out what he was thinking behind that expression.

“So, do you have any embarrassing stories about Master Zed when he was young?” Kayn asked slyly, eyes darting to Zed and then back to you. “…did he ever wet the bed?”

Zed’s hand tensed in your grip, and you laughed at his student’s eager questioning. “Let me think…”

Before you could ponder the question, you felt a strange sensation in your hand that was in Zed’s grip, and were barely able to look down and see that your hand had turned to shadow again before your vision went black for a moment. When you regained your senses a second or two later, you found yourself and Zed at the top of the hill that you had been climbing.

Looking back down the hill, you saw Kayn at the bottom beside two figures made of shadow. You looked at Zed beside you, who seemed to be purposefully looking away from his apprentice who had been left alone at the bottom of the hill, your shadow clones as his only company.

“Zed, did you just–”

Your question was promptly cut off by a shout from the bottom of the hill.

“Master, you can’t just shadow dash her away from me!” Kayn shouted as he began to climb the hill. “I’ll find out eventually!”

With a quiet huff, Zed tugged on your hand, pulling you along the grassy path and away from the still-shouting Kayn. Glancing at Zed’s face, you smiled. You would have to think of a good story to tell him when Kayn finally caught up to you, provided Zed didn’t cheat and shadow dash the two of you farther away again.

[mymedicine]

Occam’s Razor

5.6k of surfer harry and y/n, mostly fluff, frenemies to lovers type beat

moodboard

warnings - marijuana usage, swearing, very light sexual language, lotsa teasing, harry being really sassy

notes - this started as a little blurb for @majorharry‘s 20k fic celebration and then it spiraled out of control into this very self-indulgent fantasy. I used the prompt “You’re lying. I can tell when you look at me like that.” Cass’s work inspired me to start writing harry fic in the first place, so if you enjoy this, you have her to thank! <3

more notes - fair warning y’all, I’m not a stoner by any means. i’ve been high like twice in my life and i cried both times so please forgive any inaccuracies in the smoking department. that being said, I urge you to click this link to learn about the decriminalization of cannabis in the US and how you can help correct the injustices associated with it. ok, yes I will shut up now please enjoy!

Island life was a dream come true for Y/N.

There was no sound she loved more than the crashing of waves against the shore, no smell more lovely than the salty aroma of beach air, and no sight more beautiful than the bright sunrise from her home two blocks away from the sand. She squinted at the rising sun as she rode the familiar route to the beach, surfboard clutched underneath one arm. With the other, she steered her trusty bicycle—the only form of transformation she needed on the island. All she ever needed to do was go back and forth from home to work at the surf shack on the beach and back again, with an occasional Target run in between when she was low on mangoes for her smoothies.

It was a perfect morning for an easy surf. Not too hot, not too windy. Just pale skies and a gentle summer breeze bringing peaceful energy to the tiny shack on the sand. She approached the back of the shop, clutching her board a little tighter as she rode over the uneven beach terrain. When she reached the wooden structure, she deposited her bike and board out back before waltzing inside through the back door.

“Morning, H!” Y/N yelled into the room, gripping the strap of her backpack over one shoulder.

From the main shopping area of the store, a curly head popped into the back room. “You’re late,” he replied, pushing his sunglasses through his already messy hair and perching them on the crown of his head. He sauntered into the back room, following Y/N over to their shared locker in the corner.

“C’mon Harry,” Y/N shrugged him off, “island time.”

In truth, neither of them really cared about her being a few minutes late to their agreed meeting time. The store didn’t open for hours and even then, the owner wouldn’t mind. It also didn’t hurt that said owner was none other than Harry’s mother.

“'S pretty out today,” Y/N continued, shoving her backpack into the locker they stored their stuff in during the day. “Should be plenty of nice hollows to play around in before—”

“My smoothie better not be melted,” Harry interrupted her just as she was pulling two thermoses out of the bag.

He was smirking, obviously uninterested in what she was saying and instead transfixed with the sweet drinks in her hands. Y/N rolled her eyes at him. Harry may not have been the most gracious company, but he was company at least. Island life was simple, relaxed, and perfect for Y/N, but it’d be lonely if it weren’t for him. He also consistently supplied her with decent weed and excellent board wax, which certainly didn’t hurt his case. In return, she brought him a mango smoothie every day. As underpaid and overworked coworkers, symbiosis and a shared love for the ocean kept their friendship relatively intact.

“Just for that, you’re not getting it until after dawn patrol,” she taunted, rattling the thermos above her head. She enjoyed the way his eyes followed the drink like a cat’s would a piece of yarn.

His tanned chest rose and fell as he inhaled an exasperated breath, jaw tight and eyes glinting with playful contempt. Along with his teasing expression, he wore only orange floral board shorts and the pair of sunglasses pushing back his curls. Y/N couldn’t help but notice his lack of clothing, even after months of working and surfing together nearly every day. Fuck, she thought, he just keeps getting hotter.

She couldn’t decide whether the fact that he was an actual work of art was helping her withstand his presence in her life, or if it was just simply torturing her with something she didn’t think she could have. Either way, his beauty was a constant distraction.

“Fine,” Harry taunted as Y/N put the drinks in the mini fridge beside the locker. “But just for that, I’ll out-surf your ass.”

~~~

Y/N laid with her cheek pressed down on her board, sighing as the hot sun gently warmed her wet skin. Dawn had brought plenty of excitement in the form of large, smooth waves, but by mid-morning the sea had calmed to a pleasant lull. She spread out her arms and let her fingers trail lightly in the water, finding comfort and solace in the coldness of it. Her board bobbed softly with the mellow waves, rocking her body like a mother rocking her baby. She could have fallen asleep if it weren’t for Harry’s sudden loud cursing coming from somewhere behind her.

“Y/N! Wake the fuck up!”

“I’m not asleep, asshole,” she called back, not moving from her peaceful position.

“C’mon, we’re already late. And s’ gonna rain so we have to pull in the racks.”

Y/N remembered the way the rising sun had been beating down on them all morning. She felt like she was being roasted out there in the humid air with her back exposed to the rays, not obstructed by even a single cloud. But the island weather was as volatile as it was beautiful, and the start of tropical storm season was imminent.

Y/N picked her head up and pushed her chest up on the board, observing the large, dark storm clouds in the distant horizon. I’ll be damned, she thought, he’s right. There was no way in hell she’d ever actually say that to him, though. Not with the way he was continuously taunting her from his place on his own board—“Y/N! Waaaakeeeey wakey! We have woooork!”

“Alright, Harry, shut up! I’m coming.”

Despite Harry’s incessant nagging, they both paddled to shore at a pretty lazy pace, trying to savor their last few minutes of peace in the water before having to deal with all the daily nuisances of customer service.

Anne’s shop on the beach was a hit with the locals and tourists alike. For years, she and Harry had been providing beachgoers with sunscreen and board wax and rash guards and even souvenir t-shirts and mugs, that sort of thing. Anne finally hired Y/N when they started selling bikinis two months ago and the business went through the roof. Having more customers was great, but it meant there was more work to be done.

Y/N and Harry approached the store, dragging their boards with their hair still dripping wet and feet caked with sand. There was a boy lingering outside, dressed in a tank top and board shorts that both looked half a size too big on his skinny frame. They both recognized him immediately—he was a regular at the beach but kind of a shubie, which deeply irritated Harry. Y/N wasn’t Tyler’s biggest fan either; it pissed her off a little when he’d show up bright and early before Anne, Harry or herself had even arrived to open up. But she was at least less hung up on it than Harry was.

“I got him,” Y/N told Harry. “Can you start on the racks? Don’t need you chasing away our best customer.”

Little did Y/N know, Harry disliked the guy for more reasons than just the facts that he showed up ridiculously early to the store and that he tried to dress like a surfer and hang with the locals but was too much of a pussy to go near the water.

While Y/N was tending to Tyler, Harry begrudgingly began pulling in the clothing racks stocked with t-shirts that Anne liked to keep outside in front of the shop. During last year’s rainy season, he’d have to pull the damn things inside nearly every other day. He glared through the open front door at Tyler while he interacted with Y/N, making her use the pole to reach one of the tank tops hung high up on the wall. “Interacted” was a soft way to put it, he reckoned. It could not possibly be more obvious that he was flirting with her.

It only annoyed Harry because he knew he was about eight thousand times better than Tyler on literally all levels, yet the boy still got to enjoy Y/N’s attention for as long as he wanted (he was a paying customer, after all). All while she was none the wiser. Harry loathed the way his eyes lingered on her chest, especially since today she hadn’t had time to put her coverup on before having to get the fucking tank top for him.

Y/N’s head snapped away from Tyler and his incessant talking when a loud crashing sound rang out. Harry was already looking at her from the doorway, face twisted with irritation. One of the racks was crashed into the wall beside him, leaving a few fallen shirts scattered on the floor.

“You missed the door, H.” Y/N laughed at him. She was amused by the grumbling noises he was making as he struggled to yank the rack through the door frame.

“You wanna do this yehself then? ‘F you just gonna make fun of me…” He frowned, voice getting fainter as he disappeared outside to grab the last rack.

“Sorry about him,” Y/N turned back to Tyler, who was waiting patiently for her to scan and neatly fold the top he was buying.

The boy flashed her a charming smile. “S’ fine. I’m not here for him.”

Y/N was not an idiot. She noticed his flirting, but didn’t take it remotely seriously. He was far too young for her. He was thinner than she preferred. His hair was too blonde, skin too pale and clean of any ink. And, well, he wasn’t Harry.

She kind of hated that everyone had to be compared to Harry in her mind, but she couldn’t help it. He was a masterpiece. Her gaze followed him as he sauntered back into the store, picking up fallen merchandise here and there before strolling right past her, into the back room.

Y/N sent Tyler a tightlipped smile when she realized she’d been inadvertently ignoring him. She felt his eyes on her as she finished the transaction. He took the bag from her outstretched arm, but his presence lingered even after she’d given him a polite yet dismissive “Have a nice day.”

“I’m Tyler, by the way,” he began, and Y/N internally groaned. He’d introduced himself several times already during the past few weeks. She was nicer about it than Harry, sure, but fuck she did not want to entertain this kid’s advances. “And you’re—“

“Y/N!” Harry’s voice called from behind her, interrupting Tyler rather rudely in the middle of his sentence. Harry appeared at her side as if she’d conjured him up by thinking about him. She be lying if she said she minded the interruption. “Here’s your smoothie from the back,” he said with a charming smile.

Harry produced one of the thermoses and presented it to her as if it were a prize. He knew he was the real winner though—one look at Tyler’s dejected expression confirmed that much.

“Oh! Thank you, Harry,” Y/N chirped, trying desperately to thank Harry with her eyes while still remaining diplomatic. “I was just finishing up with Tyler here.”

The blonde boy looked between Harry and Y/N, lingering for only a few more seconds with his anxious fingers twisted in the plastic bag he was holding. “Right,” he stuttered, “er…you guys have a good one…” And he backed away from the store.

Y/N turned back to Harry as their customer left. She took the thermos from his hand before playfully scolding him. “That was rude, Harry.”

"He was being rude first. He wouldn’t leave.” Harry shrugged, sipping his own smoothie and swooping back into the back room before Y/N could tease him on his poor excuse.

The Tyler ordeal aside, the work day passed as all the others did. Maybe a little less busy than usual due to the impending storm. By early evening, the tourist crowd at the beach had thinned considerably. One or two local surfers lingered in the water as the dark clouds began to roll in and slowly hide the sun. Harry and Y/N watched them absently from their places behind the counter, sitting beside each other on matching stools.

Y/N took in the view. Even painted an ominous shade of dark gray, the horizon brought a serene wave of calm over her. This was where she belonged, and she was sure of it.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Harry asked, noticing the far away look in her eyes.

“The water,” Y/N replied. It was true—she was looking at the water. But she was really looking beyond it, taking in the entire scene. The lull of the crystal blue ocean, the fading sunlight hitting the palm trees, the soft sand being pelted with raindrops, even the display case of I <3 2 SURF mugs that was mildly obstructing her view out the window. She turned to face him and, of course, he fit right in. He was an integral part of her vision, the beautiful fantasy that she was lucky enough to be living in.

He smiled at her. “’S pouring fuckin’ buckets, Y/N. There’s water everywhere.”

She laughed at his joke, happy to slip back into her real-life daydream.

“What should we do, then? No one’s gonna be coming to the beach.”

“I dunno. Play a game?” Last rainy season, Harry had been alone in the shop. Those past lonely days felt like an entirely different lifetime. In this one, Y/N was his present. His here and now.

He stood from the stool and crouched down to survey the shelves underneath the counter. Anne kept random necessities like water bottles and fruit snacks and a flashlight and…yes! A deck of Uno cards.

Y/N sighed dramatically. With Harry, she knew even a simple little game for kids would quickly spiral into momentous occasion.

“Well if I’m gonna have to play this game with you, there’s no way I’m doing it sober.” With that, Y/N didn’t hesitate to hop off her own stool and head to the back room to retrieve her backpack.

Harry raised his eyebrows, amused by the suggestion. Maybe it was irresponsible to get high when the shop was technically still open for another hour, but what the hell. The crowd had already been thinning for hours. 

“We’re gonna smoke in my dear mother’s shop?” Harry mused.

“We? Did you want one?” Her voice was teasing, growing clearer as she returned from the back room. She perched herself back in her stool and began to prepare a single joint for herself.

“Love, I literally provide you the weed. Of course I fuckin’ want one.”

“Okay, sassy. You can do it yourself if you’re gonna be a dick about it.”

So, he did. And naturally, the task turned into a heated race between the two. The pelting rain outside was an appropriate soundtrack for a race which Y/N, distracted by the way Harry’s nimble fingers packed the rolling paper and pink tongue slipped out to seal the edge, was destined to pathetically lose.

“Hah,” said Harry once he’d twisted the tip, flourishing the finished joint between them for himself to admire.

Y/N rolled her eyes as she finished her own, “Whatever, Harry. I out surfed you this morning and I’ll out smoke you tonight.”

“Well then I’ll have to beat your ass at Uno.”

“Game on.”

They played six rounds of Uno, taking hits in between turns until they were both high as kites. They lost interest in the middle of round seven when Y/N accidentally knocked the deck off of the counter, scattering the cards all over the floor. Even though they each had an even three wins under their belt, neither wanted to pick up the cards, so they agreed to a truce. The pitter-patter of rain and whooshing sound of high winds continued as Harry was muttering in a low voice—something about him dreading having to clean up all the cards tomorrow—but Y/N wasn’t really listening at all.

The high disintegrated the invisible barrier between them, effectively magnifying their usual playful touches into prolonged caresses. Y/N had one leg draped over Harry’s lap, perfectly placed for his massive hands to clutch her calf and gently massage her skin in tune with his soft ramblings. His touch sent sparks flying deep in her belly. He was everywhere, his presence so commanding she was almost disoriented by euphoria. She only fell back down to earth when she realized the comforting din she’d gotten used to had gone silent.

“Listen, H. It’s stopped raining.”

He silenced his mellow prattling and stood from the stool, making Y/N frown a little at the loss of touch. She watched him as he moved over to the window, resting his palms on the sill and peering through the glass at the beach. “Not for long. Look at the clouds.”

She followed his movements, wandering over to him and then tugging one of his arms off the sill. Craving his touch, she effortlessly wedged herself in between his body and the window—a move that would have made sober Harry a little flustered. But his fuzzy brain allowed him to relax into the feeling of her body against his. He lifted his arm to point at the second cluster of storm clouds approaching the beach from the horizon, in turn pressing his bicep to her shoulder.

“Hm,” Y/N surveyed the incoming clouds. “Maybe I should get home while it’s stopped. No one’s coming to the shop when ’s pouring out.”

“Yeh gonna ride your bike high?” Harry mused. “Don’tcha think that’s kinda unsafe?”

She didn’t think so, really. But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want an excuse to hang out with Harry some more, especially now that they were standing way closer than necessary and she could once again feel his bare skin against hers. “I guess…” Y/N trailed off, distracted by the high coursing through her and the feeling of his arms around her. They were strong from years of propelling himself through the sea water, hot and tan from the hours spent in island sun.

“Fancy a dip to sober you up?”

She paused to ponder the offer, putting considerable effort into focusing on thinking rather than feeling his body. The water did look as inviting as ever now that the rain had let up—temporarily, at least.

“Okay.”

The words had barely left her mouth before Harry was moving eagerly away from her. Y/N stumbled out the door behind him, struggling to keep up while he excitedly meandered down the sand on unsteady legs. Halfway there, Y/N gave up on trying to catch up. She shed her board shorts and sandals right there on the sand, leaving her in her bikini top from earlier and matching bottoms. As she waded into the sea, part of her was regretting skipping the rash guard that morning as the salt water stung the reddening skin on her exposed stomach.

Harry was feeling a similar pain on his own bare abdomen, but he paid it no mind as he bounced through the white water. Instead he took in the twinkling sea and the early evening sunset, appreciating the way the pink clouds reflected in the water. It was so pretty, he thought, endorphins flooding his brain. Might be the prettiest fuckin’ sight I’ve ever seen…

Suddenly, Harry’s reverie was rudely interrupted by a cold blast of salt water slapping him on the back.

“What the fuck?!”

He whipped around and there she was, waist-deep with her cheeky smile and challenging eyes giving her away. Of course she was guilty, there was no one else in the goddamn lagoon five minutes before another torrential downpour. He inched toward her, impishly preparing his own counter attack. She was giggling profusely as she, too, moved backward as if she were his prey.

When she’d backed up to where it was too deep for her to stand, she squeaked and lifted her hands up in front of her face to protect herself. The water was up to her cheeks, flushed with heat, with elation, and alighted by the setting sun. Harry splashed her mercilessly, both giggling like children as her attempts to thwart his attack failed. His head was spinning, melodic laughter and splashes resonating between them. She flung her arms blindly in and out of the water as he moved closer and, foolishly, he underestimated the power of blind luck. Harry spluttered and spat as salt water landed directly in his open mouth. He swatted with his hands, whipping his soaking wet hair around before playfully glaring at her. She was squinting and rubbing the salt water out of her eyes, but she still wore that cheeky, challenging grin.

“Right, tha’s it. Yeh in for it now.” he howled at her. He reached out for her waist, intending to pick her up and throw her into the white water to wipe that stupid victorious smile off her face.

It didn’t work, but how could he be upset when he was faced with her pretty head popping up out of the white water, face lit up with pure happiness? When he was laughing along with her, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest, all with the stunning background of the most beautiful beach sunset he’d ever seen?

The sun had long set by the time they decided to call it quits. It was getting cold and, as expected, it was starting to drizzle again. They marched up the damp beach together, walking side by side with their shoes in their hands. Neither of them had bothered to bring a towel and the once pleasant island wind was now biting their wet skin. Y/N picked up her pace to warm her muscles and keep up with Harry, whose longer legs were trudging through the sand up toward the shop.

“It’s pretty late…” Harry drawled, craning his neck to observe the bright shining moon that had taken the sun’s place.

Y/N took a few seconds to reply, panting from the exertion. “Yeah.”

“And ’s raining again…”

“Mmhm.” Y/N stole a sideways glance at him. He was smiling, as per usual. And he had that playful glint in his eyes that she adored.

“…Aaaand I live just up there…” He swung his arms like a child as he walked beside her, causing one of his flip flops to repeatedly whack one of her sandals in her grasp.

Endeared, Y/N cracked a smile of her own. “Right…”

“Do you wanna maybe…”

She stopped marching then, as they reached the front of the store. She was hit with the sudden realization that part of her fantasy was becoming real. There was no work to be done at this hour, no Tyler to pull tank tops for, no interruptions. Only Harry, her favorite distraction.

Taken with his own thoughtful musing, Harry walked a few more steps before realizing Y/N had stopped. He turned around to face her, and even in the darkness she could see the flush in his cheeks.

“…spend the night at mine?”

~~~

Harry lived even closer to the beach than Y/N in an even tinier studio. Anne of course had a house a few miles into town that Harry frequented, but he was a grown man. It was more than enough to be working for his mum. As much as he adored her, he did not want to live with her.

His place very much resembled the shack they worked in from the outside. Inside he had four walls, a window, a bed in the middle, an armchair in the corner, and a hammock strung out on the porch. Y/N briefly imagined herself lounging in it, maybe sipping a mango smoothie. It would have been very pleasant if not for the fact that it was just exposed enough to be catching the rain water. A brilliant idea sparked in her brain, one she couldn’t ignore.

“I’m g’na sleep in the hammock,” she declared.

“Uh, fuck no yeh not.” Harry replied immediately, equally as firm.

“Yeah I am. It’ll be nice.”

He huffed, setting his backpack on the nightstand and cursing when it slid off. Y/N failed to fight back laughter as she watched him struggle to fit his bag next to the antiquated lamp on the side table. He swore again, finally deciding to push the lamp to the corner of the table and nearly breaking it in the process.

Having successfully removed his shoes, he sat gingerly on the bed and sighed. “But—but…” He paused, shaking his head and letting out a flustered half-laugh. “It’s wet!”

“So?” Y/N teased with a knowing grin, pleased that he’d taken the bait. All she really wanted to complete her real life daydream was to hear him request for her to sleep beside him.

“Do you know what my mother would do to me if she found out I let you sleep outside in a hammock in the fuckin’ rain?”

Oh she knew. Anne would lose her goddamn mind. As kind and gentle as she was, she demanded respectfulness and courtesy from her Harry. She wouldn’t hesitate to fire her own son for misbehaving, or at least withhold his paycheck for a few weeks.

“Fine,” she gave in with a sigh, leaning her back against the far wall, “you’re right.”

He perked up, turning around sharply to face her. “Sorry, what was tha’?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, already knowing what he was getting at. She ignored him and began undoing the clasps on her own sandals, refusing to repeat herself. Admitting he was right once was far more than enough to feed his already giant ego.

“You said I’m… what? Couldn’t hear you properly…” He had the upper hand now, and he knew it.

“Shut up, asshole.” She tossed her shoe at him, and to her delight, it landed directly on his sunburnt face. Y/N laughed loudly as he swatted the air and proceeded to rub his cheek, grimacing.

“That’s not wha’ you said, you little bitch,” He sent her a pointed smirk but didn’t retaliate, too busy tending to his own wounded skin.

Y/N gasped playfully, “What was that you called me?!” she dropped her jaw, committing to the melodrama of it all, “What would your sweet mother do if she were to find out you called me the b-word?”

With that, the ball was back in her court. Victory just within her grasp.

The light pain in Harry’s cheek had faded, but his pride was still feeling it a little. As his hand moved away from his face, Y/N caught a glimmer of mischief flicking in his eyes. “Don’t bring her into this,” he smiled, “she’s an innocent.”

“No one’s safe.” Y/N fired back immediately, a playful grin pulling at her own cheeks.

“Yeah, you’re definitely not safe,” he taunted. He hauled himself off the bed with intent to exact his revenge on her. She had a lot to be guilty of—the shoe incident, the splashing episode she started, the name-calling, the relentless teasing, and mostly the way she was looking at him right then, with fondness and...lust, unmistakable in her eyes, that was making him lose his mind.

He had her cornered against the far wall. Two hands went out to catch her bare waist and release his wrath on her in the form of tickles. Y/N laughed violently, squirming in his arms and yelping, “Stop it, Harry!” Lust clouded his own still foggy brain as he glanced downward, eyes trailing down her bikini-clad chest to her waist where he held her firmly against him.

Y/N caught him, of course. She was staring at him just as intently. As always, she was enchanted by how beautiful he was. His hair was still damp and she was close enough to see bits of sand hiding in the curls. He was grinning wildly, eyes crinkling, cheeks flushed red, teeth adorably poking his pink bottom lip.

Without warning, he ducked his head pressed his lips to hers. Shock melted away as his mouth molded to hers, igniting an inferno in the pit of her stomach. Likewise, flames of passion were roaring within Harry as desperation took over for rational thought. He kissed her with the same eagerness and intensity with which they both would dive into the ocean, head first with no hesitation. His tongue was salty and sweet against hers. He tasted faintly like the sea and weed and mangoes—everything Y/N loved.

Which made it all the more difficult to pull away.

“We should stop,” she sighed but continued to accept the hot pecks he was dotting on her cheek, her jaw, her neck.

“Why?” he muttered against her skin, pruned hands squeezing her waist tighter.

“Because, we’re all salty and gross…” she wrapped her arms around his neck, anchoring his supple lips at the nape of her neck and shivering at the feeling he gave her. His lips were hot on her skin, lighting a blissful trail of fire wherever they went.

“I don’t mind.”

The pelting rain outside sounded distant to her, like background noise against the vibrations of Harry’s husky voice.

“Well...I do. Besides, we should talk about…whatever this is…” Y/N trailed off, thoughts evaporating into feelings, words melting into breathy whines.

“Wha’s there to talk about?” He pulled away from her neck but she didn’t let him go far. She held his sunburnt cheeks in her palms and let their noses brush against each other as he declared, “’S very simple. You’re in love with me.”

Y/N’s eyes widened and she let out a joyful laugh. She pulled away a millimeter, letting the back of her head graze the wall behind her as she continued to softly, nervously laugh, “You’re crazy, Harry. I’m not in love with you.” The lie tasted salty on her lips, as if the universe did not want to let her forget how delectable his own tasted against hers. She let herself gaze into his eyes, helpless against such a force so far beyond her control.

“You’re lying. I can tell when you look at me like that.”

She was sure he could feel her heart racing in her chest as she let out a breathy sigh, “Like how?”

“Like yeh want me to tell you you’re pretty and then fuck yeh into tha’ bed you fought me over.”

He smirked evilly as he said it, loving the way she shivered in his arms. She whined against his skin, way past pretending his words didn’t affect her. She shut her eyes and pressed another deep, languid kiss to his reddening bottom lip, unable to resist. “And what makes you so sure that’s love, H?” she whispered against his mouth.

“You’re kissin’ me like you’re in love with me, you’re looking at me like you’re in love with me, so, says Occam’s razor, yeh must be in love with me.”

“When did you become a goddamn philosopher?”

“‘M fuckin’ baked, Y/N,” he laughed, his breath tickling her cupid’s bow. “But ‘m also right. Yeh said it yourself.”

“Bullshit, you peaked a while ago.”

“Maybe I’m just fuckin’ smart then, Miss not-so-subtle-at-changing-the-subject.”

“Fine,” she deadpanned. And after a deep inhale: “I love you.”

Her voice was even, but a tsunami of feelings crashed in Y/N’s chest as the words left her lips—relief, joy, adoration, love.

An easy, knowing smile graced Harry’s mouth. “Spectaculah. I love y—“

“No,” she interrupted him with a peck on the lips, “tell me in the morning…when you’re sober. Then…”

She felt the heat rise up her throat and a smile pull at her lips at the vivid images running through her mind. The soft rays of morning sunshine peeking through the window, the sound of waves crashing in the distance, Harry’s naked chest against hers, his mouth muttering sweet, filthy praises across her chest, her tummy, the insides of her thighs…

“Sure thing, my love,” Harry laughed lightly. He had a feeling he knew exactly what was going on behind her red-rimmed eyelids. His own imagination was conjuring up dirty images of himself buried between her legs, basking in her salty skin and breathy whines. But there were softer thoughts, too. Fantasies involving sweet kisses pressed to her lips and her cheeks and the dulcet melody of her laughter and the feeling of her soft hands on his face. He saw her face while she was riding the biggest wave of the morning—lit up with a huge smile and eyes twinkling with the ocean’s reflection in them. He envisioned her soft lips stained orange with mango juice. He saw her cheeky, joyous grin when he was splashing her against the powdery pink backdrop of the sun setting into the sea. The prettiest fuckin’ sight I’ve ever seen.

Come morning, the first thing she heard was the crashing of the waves and Harry’s raspy voice in her ear.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

thank you for reading <3

please tell me what you think! I’d love to hear from y’all :D

informal taglist, aka a lovely bean who requested to be tagged: @fortrapsandfordaphne

[rheawritessometimes]

Simple Promise

{ Childe x GN!Reader }

{ Summary } You broke one of Childe's bones and feel a little bad about it. Series Masterlist

{ Warnings } Swearing, Violence, Injury, Physical Intimacy.

{ Notes } The first part of Let's Make a Deal with minor edits. I dislike the later parts of the series so I decided to rewrite the whole thing. Masterlist

{ Word Count } 2,759

{ Prev || Next }

Meeting Childe at the Golden House every week had been your routine for a few months now. After you had defeated him the first time, he begged you to spar with him again at the first opportunity. You agreed to his request after being unable to resist his puppy dog eyes. And the entire week he spent pestering you about it.

The whole fiasco with Osial had been put behind the both of you almost immediately after the god returned to the bottom of the sea. It was probably true that you were too quick to forgive Childe, but he was just so charming. The fact he frequently paid for your meals after sparring sessions or whenever the both of you had free time also helped him remain in your good graces. On a few occasions, you had been out eating with friends or on your own and found he had picked up your tab.

Since Liyue hadn’t been destroyed and you got free food out of it, you weren’t all too upset about the situation with Childe. The Snezhnayan was actually pretty easy to get along with when Fatui matters weren’t involved, or at least when those Fatui matters didn’t conflict with your own interests. He made you laugh too, so you supposed you could tolerate the once-weekly sparring sessions with him, even if he was a bit rough. You supposed the fact he was pretty cute didn’t hurt either.

Childe called it sparing, but normal people didn’t spar with actual weapons and fight like they were going to kill their partner. At first, you had tried to convince him it would be much better and safer for the both of you to use practice weapons instead of sharpened blades and arrows. He was quick to decline, saying something about both of you being competent enough not to get seriously hurt.

You thought about refuting that on the basis that he had yet to beat you even once but he always brushed you off. Childe never even gave any reasoning as to why he insisted on using real weapons and you suspected that he was just being stubborn.

Even so, each week you made your way to the Golden House to meet Childe for your sparring session. You’d never gotten there before him and wondered if he intentionally came early. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case, he probably paced the room plotting his seemingly unobtainable victory.

Childe would have made for quite a formidable opponent if he wasn’t so careless in battle. His combat experience and weapon mastery alone were impressive and the addition of a Hydro Vision and Delusion made a fight with him all the more fierce. But his lack of strategic ability and defensive technique made sparring sessions between you and him fairly one-sided. Childe might have been careless because it wasn’t a real fight, but somehow you doubted that. He seemed the type to always give it his all, which could have been his problem since his loss usually came due to exhaustion. Maybe if he didn’t spend so much energy trying to show off he’d actually be a proper challenge.

“You’re finally here,” Childe exclaimed dramatically, voice echoing off the walls, “I thought you might have gotten lost on the way or something. Was starting to worry I’d need to go out and rescue you.”

“I’m fifteen minutes early, Childe. How long have you been waiting?” you asked dryly, raising your eyebrow questioningly. You took a moment to shrug your adventuring pack off your shoulders and drop it near the door. You rolled your shoulders, relieved to be free of the weight.

“Ahah, anyways, we should get started. I have some business to attend to today,” he responded, indiscreetly ignoring your question. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he didn’t wait for your response before sending an arrow flying in your direction, but you were a little annoyed he hadn’t even waited until you were paying attention. Usually, he was more considerate than this.

Materializing your sword out of reflex, you raised the blade to block the arrow flying in your direction. The arrow bounced off the metal with a weak dink, clattering to the ground. If you’d reacted a moment later it would have pierced you.

Childe was smiling despite the dirty look you shot at him, irritated by the cheap shot. His grin only widened as he took aim again and you silently promised that he would face your wrath shortly. Someone needed to wipe that cocky grin off his face, after all.

Advancing towards him, you swatted the arrow flying your way with your sword. A bow would be less effective at close range, so you intended to close the distance. The redhead laughed, a hint of nervousness creeping into the sound at the pace of your advance. Or perhaps it was the building rage in your eyes.

The bow dematerialized, freeing Childe’s hands for his signature dual Hydro-blades in anticipation of close combat. Once in range, he immediately swiped at you with a blade in a predictable motion. You stepped back out of the way, quickly bringing up your sword to parry the next slash coming from the opposite blade. His movements were rash and you were beginning to think he would never learn anything from these weekly training sessions.

Childe seemed encouraged by you backing away, a smug look crossing his face. You furrowed your brows, surely he wasn’t so thoughtless. He insists on using real weapons, shoots at you before you’re ready, and now he has the audacity to get cocky. The audacity to get cocky even though you evading his attacks was draining more of his energy than yours.

Annoyed by Childe’s ego, you raise your blade to swing down at him and he catches your sword on crossed hydro-blades. He lets out a little huff of air, not expecting you to strike with such force, but his arms hold steady. You swiftly draw your blade back to slash at him again. Thorough training has you swiping at him with practiced ease while Childe is forced to switch to the defensive.

It gives you a sort of satisfaction to see his expression change to one of worry, it was your first time seeing such a look on him. You had no intention of actually hurting him, but it was nice to scare him a little. Maybe after this, he’d take the dangers of sparing with actual weapons a little more seriously. But probably not.

Quick, relentless strikes have Childe growing tired as he continues to evade your blade. You’re trying not to smirk as you move him around the arena, watching his chest begin to heave as breathing becomes labored.

Your intention was only to scare him when you struck his side with the flat of your blade. Of course, it wasn’t nearly as dangerous as using the sharpened edge but the sound of a soft crack barely loud enough to reach your ears made your blood run cold the same as if you’d sliced him open. A look of surprise crosses your face when he lets out a pained grunt, what had happened finally being processed in your mind.

On instinct you step forward, reaching out to Childe as your sword clatters to the ground before dematerializing. You were internally relieved to see his hydro-blades dissipate too, it would have been terribly unsportsmanly of him to stab you now. But even without being stabbed, you pause at the realization that you’re not sure what to do.

Childe’s hand moves to the side of his chest as he coughs a few times, face scrunching up in pain. A flood of panic washes over you at the sound as your thoughts race. The cracking sound suggested you’d at least broken one of his ribs and if his coughing meant a lung had been pierced, well the outcome could be very unpleasant.

“Fuck, that hurts,” he huffed out before he attempted to gingerly sit down, right in the middle of the Golden House. Childe winced at the movement, but he managed to settle, leaning back on his arms for support. His breathing was heavy from the strain of sparing and you felt extremely guilty, broken ribs had a tendency to hurt terribly and pain would flare up with every breath. But he didn’t seem to be struggling for air, so you assumed his lungs were intact.

“Let me get something to ease the pain,” you said hastily, jogging towards the door to grab your bag. Your thoughts were still a bit scattered but since Childe wasn’t actively dying you were a bit relieved. After a moment of thinking, you decided the best course of action was to numb him up before bringing him to Bubu Pharmacy to get some proper help.

“Aw, are you worried about me?” he cooed teasingly, maintaining that signature annoying grin despite the pain he must have been in. It was easy to ignore him as you rummaged through your bag for something useful.

It crossed your mind that it would be exceedingly difficult to get him all the way back to Liyue if you gave him anything too strong. That limited your options rather greatly, considering your lacking medical knowledge and limited variety of resources left you with fewer options than you would have liked already. He probably could make it back without any anesthetic but it would be slow and you’d feel terrible for it.

Even with your lack of selection, you were thankful to have some knowledge and materials for this sort of thing, adventuring made you better at improvising and you learned a lot along the way. Taking everything into consideration, you decided it would be best to go with something topical. You could make a salve to numb up the area and then hopefully drag him to Bubu Pharmacy.

“I’m sorry, Childe,” you apologized, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Not that badly, at least.”

“Oh don’t worry about it, this isn’t the first time I’ve broken my ribs. Probably won’t be the last, either,” he replied with a laugh, which caused him to wince. You only frowned at him as you pulled out some plants to grind up. A rock would have worked, but you kept a mortar and pestle for this kind of thing after realizing you’d be doing field medicine often.

You were soon mashing some leaves and a few petals into a paste, with some water Childe so graciously provided. Having a Hydro user around was rather convenient, you were almost jealous of all the practical uses a Hydro Vision had.

“Whatcha makin’?” Childe asks after a short period of silence, leaning over to get a closer look. You wonder if he’s actually curious or if he just can’t tolerate the quiet. It seemed the two of you were always talking when you were together, save for when your sparing got too intense to spare the breath.

“A salve to numb you up so I can drag you to Bubu Pharmacy,” you responded, most of your focus on getting the paste to the right consistency.

“What? No, I can’t go. I’ve got work to do,” he argued, moving to stand up now that he was aware of your intentions. You were quick to grab his wrist to prevent him from getting up, looking away from your work to frown at him. Childe paused, waiting for your explanation.

“You have at least one broken rib, whatever you need to do can wait,” you told him sternly, maintaining eye contact. He turned his gaze away from you to hum in contemplation. He knew well enough that giving injuries time to heal was important, but so was his job.

“Fine, I guess it can wait until later,” he relented, leaning back into a comfortable position once more. Childe had a feeling that if he had insisted on skipping out on the doctor’s visit you would have actually dragged him there.

“Can you take off your shirt?” you asked, trying to sound as casual and not awkward as possible once you were satisfied with the consistency of the paste. You would have offered to allow him to apply it himself but you figured it would be less painful this way, plus you’d need to bandage his chest afterward, so it didn’t make much of a difference.

“Oh my, you’re not usually this bold,” he teased, reaching to begin undoing the clasps holding his jacket together. His remark made you decide against offering your assistance despite the awareness that even just wriggling out of the jacket probably hurt. It’s okay to be a little petty sometimes. As a treat.

Once his torso was bare you shifted your position to be a bit closer and examined his side. There was already the beginning of bruising, but it would get much darker by tomorrow. You ignored the scars and old bruising that was present, very aware of the fact the redhead would tease you for staring if you looked any longer.

“I promise I’ll be gentle,” you assured, “But it’ll probably hurt a little.”

Childe just hummed, waving off your warning, so you gathered some of the salve on your fingers. You wished you’d had gloves that weren’t absorbent with you so your hands wouldn’t grow numb later, but there was no helping it now.

It was a quick process of spreading the paste over his ribs, but his eyes remained on you the entire time. You couldn’t be sure if he was just interested in what you were doing, but it surprised you that he remained entirely silent. His steady gaze did make you feel a bit awkward, though.

“It’ll take a little while to numb up. I’m going to bandage your chest for support. This will hurt more than applying the salve,” you informed him, dragging your pack towards you to dig out a roll of bandages.

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty tough,” he laughed in response, and you could only smile and shake your head at him. You had faith in his strength, but that didn’t stop the guilt you felt over being responsible for his pain. It did make you feel better when he started reminiscing on past injuries he’d sustained in battle once you began bandaging him. How he could look back on them so fondly was a mystery to you.

At first, you were mindful to touch him as little as possible while you were wrapping the bandages. They needed to be a little tight to provide support but you tried to ensure they put as little pressure on his ribs as possible. Unfortunately, your fingers started to grow numb and you hadn’t realized you’d been bandaging too tightly until Childe let out a soft grunt of pain.

“Fuck, sorry,” you apologized, quickly unraveling the last section of bandaging to rewrap it more loosely.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, thinking for a moment before adding, “But, if you want to make it up to me, a kiss would make me feel better.”

Pausing in your ministrations, you looked up to see a cheeky grin on his face. You raised a brow, giving him an entirely unimpressed expression. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for him to flirt like this, trying to get a reaction out of you. But as you reached one hand up to gently grab his chin, it was his turn to become flustered.

Leaning up, you pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek before moving away and releasing your hold on him. You patted his cheek twice, giving him an amused grin.

“You’re welcome.”

“Hey! That doesn’t count!” Childe immediately whined, pouting at you. You could only laugh at his playful antics as you finally finished wrapping his chest.

“You’re cruel, you know that?” the Snezhnayan grumbled, eyebrows still furrowed as he continued to pout. He really did seem like a spoiled kid at this moment and you laughed again, causing his frown to deepen.

You knew his demeanor was all theatrical, but as you stared at his expression you found yourself leaning towards him again. You gently pressed your lips to his, smiling into the kiss when his hands eagerly flew up to your face. You indulged in the kiss for a few more moments, smirking when he followed you as you pulled away. Putting a hand on his shoulder, you halted his attempt to continue.

“You can have another kiss once you get checked out at Bubu Pharmacy.”

-

{ Prev || Next }

[insfiringyou]

BTS - Going Solo (Part One) - Jimin x Ara

Contains: Angst. *Potential trigger warning for descriptions of panic attacks*

Set a few months following their scene in ‘Private Moments’, Ara is faced with a decision which will change the course of her future. 

(Part Two will be uploaded soon, after a few fics focusing on some of the other members.)

You can find out more about our headcanon universe and ongoing storyline here and more about our headcanon girlfriends here.

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook & our full masterlist of fanart and fanfictions can be found here

If you wish to follow all member’s storylines in chronological order from the beginning, you can find them listed here.

Content below the cut

‘Jimin,

We just spoke, and you asked if I was happy. I think I am. At least most days.’

Ara typed slowly. Her nails had just been manicured and were longer than she was used to. The sound of acrylics against the keyboard rang through the small hotel room. 

‘When I’m with you I can feel really happy. You can be so sweet and loving and I appreciate you always check up on me - to make sure I’m okay. Touring is hard. You know it better than anybody else, and you tried to prepare me for it.’

She gave a soft sigh, knowing no one else would hear. The words were spilling out of her fingers before her brain had time to catch up, though she knew based on experience she would eventually work out what she was trying to say. The room was dark and the white glow from the word document was starting to make her eyes water. The contact lenses had been in all day and were getting on her nerves. Still, she persevered. She could remove them once she had finished. 

‘I’ve been asked to renew my contract.’

She stopped typing, heart thudding, and realised she felt scared. Her hand moved automatically to her stomach and she exhaled slowly before taking a deep, drawn out breath. She had been practicing and it had gotten easier. At first she would panic, and find her chest rising and falling like crazy, on the verge of hyperventilation, but soon she learned the trick; it was her stomach which was supposed to be moving, not her chest. Her cheeks were a little warm and she knew it was shame she was feeling, not embarrassment. She hadn’t told him yet, despite having known for over a week. Tentatively, she continued, fingers picking up speed as she became used to the sensation of the new nails. 

‘You remember me telling you the first was on a trial basis, based on sales. Well - whatever target they set for us, we must have hit it. Even you have noticed the increase in publicity lately...the T.V appearances. They’ve asked me to film a reality show. I don’t know what they’re expecting.’

Her brow furrowed, wondering...

‘I guess they might have asked you too?’

The laptop stayed silent for a long time and she rested her hands against the small, cheap desk as she gazed at the screen. Her mind suddenly seemed blank and she felt stupid. She would never send the document to Jimin, just as she hadn’t sent the ones she had written before; three month’s worth of unopened, worthless ramblings saved in some obscure folder on her desktop, trapped in the harddrive somewhere between her acoustic recordings and photographs of hairstyles she had saved from Pinterest. She often wondered why she even bothered to save them. Her counsellor had told her, time and time again, that keeping a diary would be helpful. She could record her mood swings and track her periods, along with keeping count of what she ate; wholegrains made her bloated, red food colourings brought out a rash. She sometimes worried she might be lactose intolerant, though could handle it in coffee. That type of thing. She kept it up at first; bashfully bringing the sparkly diary into the small office she visited once a month and reciting what she had written to the man opposite. He would nod sympathetically as she spoke, making a comment from time to time; asking how she felt about what she had put. But the company was paying him to do this; all the girls went, and she sometimes wondered if it was the food diary he was really interested in. If her manager was keeping track, making sure she and the other members were not overdoing it on the full-fat salad dressing and milky lattes. 

The diary entries began to dwindle and, not long after her last week-long visit back to Seoul, the meaningless letters on her laptop started. They were usually addressed to Jimin, though she had written several to her father and one to her brother. She wasn’t good with words; she had been told that often enough at school when she would have to read out loud from the book of the week in Literature, or come up with an argument in Business Studies. Her mouth would stumble and she’d turn red, both ashamed and humiliated, until the teacher inevitably took pity on her and told her to sit back down. Writing in private was much easier, especially when she knew no one but her would see.

‘I don’t know how to feel.’

The cursor hovered, blinking at the end of the last line. There was a heavy knock at the door and Ara jumped, hands automatically reaching for the laptop lid, before a familiar female voice called out.

“Ara? Are you coming?”

She quickly gathered herself, clicking the save icon at the top of the screen. The company had arranged a group meal in the restaurant downstairs, though she had forgotten, her mind distracted by more pressing thoughts.

“In a minute…I just need to change my lenses.” She called back, moving her finger against the touchpad as a pop-up appeared. She selected the save button once more, mouth twisting as she read the title in the little window: ‘Untitled #12.’ She wondered if she would ever get around to renaming them properly.

***

“Your hair has so much texture. I wish mine were thicker.”

Ara murmured in reply before catching the young stylist’s reflection in the mirror and realising how rude she must have sounded. Da-eun had come to the company some months before and was undeniably sweet. Too sweet, Ara sometimes thought, for the business she was in. The other makeup artists and hairdressers loved to keep one ear to the wall, in case there was a chance of promotion or, she rather cynically suspected, a way to increase their pay by selling gossip, but Da-eun didn’t seem like that. At least not yet.

After a moment’s hesitation, Ara smiled into the glass at the figure behind her. “I’m glad I have you to do it for me. The roots are a nightmare!”

Da-eun returned the smile and seemed to relax, but a curious expression still played on her features as she ran the straightener gently across the dyed tips of hair. “Are you tired?”

“I didn’t get much sleep.” Ara confirmed, briefly closing her eyes. Da-eun knew not to press her, but she couldn’t help but worry the younger woman might know more than she was letting on. They had shared hotel rooms in the past and, perhaps it was the stylist's instinct, used to paying close attention to detail, but she always seemed to tell when something was amiss. It was frustrating sometimes. 

“I looked at the schedule. You’re not going on set until last so you’ll have time to rest before you go out.” Da-eun murmured helpfully. Ara nodded, relieved. It occurred to her, not for the first time, that Da-eun should quit while she could; while she was still young and hopeful and kind. 

“I just don’t have the energy right now…” Ara sighed as she felt her hair being released. The younger woman finished working the ends and unplugged the device from the dressing room table. 

“Did you sign the contract yet?” 

Her voice was inquisitive and a little optimistic. Ara had never asked, but there was always the chance that Da-eun’s contract was somehow tied to her own; that if the group were to disband, she might lose her job. Ara shook her head lightly.

“No.”

Da-eun raised an eyebrow. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“I just haven’t had time to read it properly.” She said, truthfully. “It’s come around sooner than I thought…”

The stylist moved forward, reaching for the set of hairbrushes on the counter, before selecting the biggest. She teased through the ends of hair with her short fingers before brushing lightly along the bleached roots, smoothing the locks. 

“There’s been rumours.” The younger woman said, voice suddenly low as though she were worried about being overheard. A thick curtain set apart the dressing room from the photography studio, but it was always possible someone was listening. 

Ara blinked, tensing a little. “What?”

Da-eun smiled gently. “That you’re making a solo album.”

“Oh…” The older woman wasn’t sure what she had expected, but this news took her by surprise. “I wasn’t planning on it.” She shrugged.

“That’s a relief.” Da-eun beamed with a small laugh. “I’m looking forward to going home soon. Aren’t you?”

Ara opened her mouth to speak, not sure what she was going to say, but the curtain beside them drew apart suddenly; startling them both. 

“Oh! Costume change…” Da-eun exclaimed, setting down the brush and turning to accommodate the older woman who had just entered. Mimi was a year older than Ara and usually less prone to accidents, but the leather strap on her camisole suggested a wardrobe malfunction which needed attending to at once.

“Sorry to interrupt…” The other woman murmured apologetically, gesturing to Da-eun. “Could you fix this for me?”

“Sure.” She nodded, stepping away.

Ara’s phone had vibrated against her thigh twenty minutes before but she hadn’t wanted to risk opening the text, especially with someone standing over her shoulder. As Da-eun seated Mimi in the rotating chair on the opposite side of the room to take a look at her costume, Ara took the moment to slip the device from her pocket and flick through the recent notifications. Unsurprisingly, it had been Jimin who had texted and she read the sentence a couple of times before returning it to her pocket.

‘Two more weeks. I’m looking forward to seeing you. It’s been too long.’ 

***

Ara sipped from the glass, the cool water clearing her throat and offering a much needed refreshment from the events of the day. Her voice had become raspy from singing, but luckily she didn’t need it to type. 

‘Jimin,

I was cleaning my closet before we went on tour and found the dress I was wearing on the night we met.’

She found herself smiling, a little longingly, at the memory, a strange anecdote coming to mind.

‘It still has a Daiquiri stain on the hem and it’s too big for me now. I don’t know why I’m saving it.’

The thought made her sad, somehow. 

‘I wonder if you remember that night as clearly as I do. I didn’t want to leave. I knew you were with someone else, but I didn’t care.’

A deep frown played on her otherwise gentle features.

‘Does that make me a bad person?’

It wasn’t until she read the line back, she realised the thought had never occurred to her before. Not once in five years. She wondered why it suddenly seemed to matter. With a sigh, she continued, committing her trail of thoughts to the page.

‘You told me it was over the next time we met, and I believed you, but part of me wondered if you’d go back to her, once you knew how inexperienced I was. I guess I know how you feel sometimes. The whole thing has taken me by surprise as well. I never felt like anyone would want me.’

Her chest ached as she typed the final sentence; overwhelmed by emotion. It was true that the compliments and flirty glances she often received were met with an automatic but fleeting sense of glee. It felt novel, after so long of feeling like she didn’t deserve it. It sometimes still felt that way; back in the hotel room, after the cheers of the crowd had faded. She had brought the subject up with her company counsellor who had laughed it off, explaining that everyone suffered with imposter syndrome from time to time; she wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last. On the matter of flirting, she had kept that one to herself. It felt too personal and she was sure it would come across as vain. Occasionally it was unwarranted; the older mens’ eyes moving down her legs when she took to the stage in a short skirt back in Seoul, or the way she jumped in alarm when someone once slipped their hand down the back of her jeans while she stood tightly packed in an elevator in Osaka. But other times she found her heart racing and stomach churning; not thinking of Jimin until she tucked herself in bed at night. A pretty, tall waitress brushing her hand as she handed over the bill in a Thai restaurant, or the hotel doorman who had helped her move her luggage earlier in the week and smiled kindly at her in the lobby. She knew Jimin, of all people, would understand. She had seen the way he played the audience, like he had a secret to share with them all. Early in their relationship it had made her crazy; the way he seemed to flirt with anyone he came into contact with, often without even realising. But now the tables had turned. He would understand; but she wasn’t sure he would accept it. 

She glanced a warily at the shadowy corner of the room where an oversized bouquet of red roses sat on the dresser. They had arrived earlier to the hotel room, along with a postcard sized letter from her manager. He had been unable to make the trip to Taiwan but was waiting for her in Tokyo; the contract was ready, whenever she was ready to sign. The flowers seemed like a bribe; the gesture leaving a sour taste in her mouth. She wondered if the other two girls had received any, or if the privilege was all hers. 

The sound of her ringtone, a chirpy, summer tune, alerted her to the fact that an hour had already passed and it was getting late. She quickly swiped the screen and raised it to her ear, not wanting to wake up the neighbours.

“Hello?”

There was a pause before Jimin spoke. “How are you?” 

“Good.” She squinted at her watch with a frown. “What time is it there?”

“2am.”

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” She asked, a little baffled. He hadn’t called her this late in a while.

“I only just got in. There was a company dinner.” He explained. “What are you up to?”

She hesitated. “Just thinking.”

He laughed, softly mocking her. “Just thinking?”

She shook her head, dismissing it. “Oh, it’s nothing…I was drying my hair.” She lied, fingering the ends of the bone-dry locks in an automatic response. “Da-eun dyed the tips purple for the photoshoot.”

“I liked the pink.” He groaned, a little sulkily.

“They thought purple would fit better with the concept photos.” She mumbled deflatedly. “It’s not really my choice.”

“You could change it when you come home.” He said hopefully. She heard the flirtatious grin in his voice and could picture his smile on the other end. “They can’t do anything about it once your contract has ended.” 

“Maybe.” 

She sounded distant and he noticed the change at once.

“Are you okay?” 

She closed her eyes tightly, temporarily blocking out the glare from the laptop screen. “I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.”

“Did you take a look at the brochures I emailed you?”

“I haven’t had time. I’m sure whatever you pick will be fine.” She knew she sounded a little irritated but was unable to mask it. The weight of the day suddenly seemed to dawn on her and she wanted nothing more than to go to bed. The last thing she wanted to talk about was moving house. 

“I’d really like you to help.” He argued lightly. “There’s a three bedroom going for sale on the Han River. Yoongi says it’s a good deal.”

Ara sighed. “I’m sure he’s right.”

A pause. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I wish you’d stop asking.” She pleaded, feeling on the verge of tears. Jimin seemed to hear the tremor in her voice and thought for a long moment before he spoke, tentatively.

“Maybe you should ask the doctor to change your medication again.”

Ara clutched the phone tightly. “It’s fine.” She tried to smile, hoping it would show in her voice. “I’m feeling much better, just tired.”

“Is that a side effect?” 

He sounded concerned and she nodded to herself, though she knew full well she hadn’t taken the time to read the little leaflet properly. “Probably. Maybe I just need some sleep.”

“Okay.” He agreed, though she sensed his trepidation. “I’d better go then.”

He sounded disappointed and Ara felt guilty once more. “I’m sorry Jimin.” She apologised softly. “It really was nice that you called. It’s just these time zones…”

“I understand.” 

She wondered if he did. Her eyes felt damp beneath her heavy, false eyelashes, making them itch. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

***

She had forgotten her contact lenses and had to rummage through her Birkin to retrieve her reading glasses. They felt strange on her nose and she wondered how she had ever made it through high school wearing them. At least she had been given a moment’s peace to read through the contract. The office overlooked Ueno Station and the rush of traffic below would be too distracting had someone also been watching her. 

‘As a permanent member of the label you should not bring the company into disrepute…’

She read carefully, though the paperwork seemed much larger than the last one she had signed. Some of the phrases looked familiar, such as the declaration of her dedication to being a ‘brand ambassador’, but others were definitely new. Her gaze hovered over one line:

‘...should not jeopardize future success…not limited to personal relationships, controversial thought or opinion including strong ties to political associations, ideologies or groups.’

She expected no less, particularly after Mimi was caught on camera reading a Betty Friedan book. The first part was more complicated and she wondered if Jimin’s management had asked something similar of him. 

With a sigh, she continued down the page, skimming the text now but picking up on key words which seemed important, ‘Maintain a visible and transparent social media presence….Agree to the screening and management of said accounts with the view of protecting our artists and their wellbeing.’

By the time she reached the end, it did not seem to matter and there was a strange comfort in realising this. The past three years had been carefully planned, organised, operated; her future written for her from the moment she stepped foot on stage for the first time. The moments of quiet between shows, or during her increasingly short stays back in Seoul, only seemed to complicate things further. Her thoughts were a mess whenever she stopped to breathe for a moment, and maybe it was easier to shut them off altogether; to give over all control and decision-making to someone else than to try and deal with them all herself. 

The fountain pen was heavier than she expected as she picked it off the table. It had the company brand embossed on the side in gold-leaf which seemed to reflect the fading light outside as the sun set below the concrete structure of the art museum to the West. Slowly, she signed her name on the final page; the ink blotting a little as she moved aside the bound file and repeated the motion on the second copy. The second attempt was neater as she grew used to the feel of the pen in her hand. There was a knack to it; just like many of the things she had grown to learn in her adult life; underwear should be washed on the delicate cycle, t-shirts should be turned inside out before they are ironed, glasses should not be left in the sink too long, should they smash. She had an assistant to do those things now, and her clothes were mostly dry cleaned these days. 

She neatened the piles of paper and put the lid back on the pen, so the ink wouldn’t dry. The first contract had been signed in black Biro, which hadn’t come with such demands. Reaching down, she picked up her black handbag and carefully folded her personal copy, slipping it between her lipstick and glasses case before adding the pen. She had probably paid for it anyway; in her own way. The green light on her phone was blinking and she slid it from the pouch in the lining. The text had arrived while she was in the meeting, which is why she hadn’t heard her phone go off. Her thumb paused over the messenger button for a moment, before she tapped the screen lightly; Jimin’s name and picture coming into view in the little window above the text. 

‘One more week! :)’

***

Thank you for reading. To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga  /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook

& Our full masterlist of fics and original art can be found here

& Our masterlist of preferences/most likely to/quizzes and fun stuff is here

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[atsukashii]

❝soft hours❞ // k. bakugou

SYNOPSIS:  ➛ The world knows Katsuki Bakugou as the explosive number two pro hero. You know him as your husband who is soft for only three people on the planet; you and your children.  

» CHARACTER PAIRING: prohero!katsuki bakugou x reader

» WORD COUNT: 3.3k

» GENRE: pro-hero!katsuki, aged up characters, dad bakugou

» WARNINGS: swearing, fluff to the max & dad katsuki

« masterlist || ao3 »

Being a mother is hard work. 

You aren’t sure how your own made it look so damn easy, because it is anything but. When it was just you, your husband, and your son it was easy enough. But adding another baby to the mix? 

You have never been more tired in your entire life.

For the past month of her life, Koharu had been a good sleeper, with a chill and calm temperament that you, your mother, and mother-in-law; Mitsuki Bakugou all agreed did not come from your husband. But the past two days were a lot different. She had regressed... A lot. With Katsuki back at work, barely able to take time off due to being a high ranking pro hero, you were left to your own devices with the newborn. He had offered to help of course, but you had this. How hard could it be? You’d said confidently.

You’re not so confident now.

Just yesterday, you had struggled to put her to sleep when Katsuki came and managed to do it in less than ten minutes. And honestly, for a second were jealous of your husband. But then he had stumbled over nothing, swearing like a sailor and the wailing began again.

“Suki, don’t swear at the baby!” You had laughed

“I didn’t swear at the baby sweetheart, I swore at the fucking toy Kazuto left on the floor”

“Suki!”

“Kazuto, how many times do I have to tell you to pick up your toys once you're done playing with them?”

“Sorry, dad!” That moment had made you feel a lot better about your parenting abilities. 

Today, however, with Katsuki out on patrol, and your son at preschool, it left you and Koharu alone for some girl time. Time, that was spent with you completely frazzled and desperate to help your baby to stop crying and go back to sleep.

But. Nothing. Was. Working. 

After four hours, she finally fell asleep purely out of exhaustion, but not before you had called your own mother, crying on the phone. You weren’t a bad mother, you were just adjusting… Right? All parents had off days with their children, no one was perfect. Though when you had picked up your phone in a moment of peace and mistakenly opened up Instagram, you took one look at a young influencer and her designer baby, looking like she stepped out of a damn magazine… You couldn’t help but compare it to the sweats you wore to bed the night before that you still hadn’t changed out of, the spit up on your shirt, and the bags under your eyes. This is normal, you’d had to remind yourself over and over again as you had put your daughter back into her crib.

Stirring the curry you quickly threw together for dinner, you are ripped from your gloomy thoughts as the noise of the front door opening meets your ears. The door was quickly followed by the voice of a very energetic three-year-old carrying what you know to be the Red Riot merch backpack he takes everywhere. It was a gift from his Uncle Kirishima that Katsuki hates, but puts up with for the sake of his son's happiness. You also know that he has a Chargebolt T-shirt in his closet that he wears to preschool sometimes and cherishes it dearly. His favorite though, is his mini grenade toys based on Katsuki’s own hero costume. For Kazuto’s first birthday, you’d had a hero theme and you couldn’t help but dress him up like your husband, but when you did - with his white-blonde hair and red eyes - he looked like a tiny Katsuki. It was too cute. 

“And-and then he kicked the villain SO HARD that he flew across the sky! He’s so cool!” Explains Kazuto, jumping up and down in excitement. 

“Mmhmm,” Katsuki adds, making it sound like he was paying attention, and encouraging his son to keep rambling about his enormous love for heroes. You won’t be surprised if he follows in his father's footsteps and becomes a pro hero in the future, with his quirk already arrived and causing havoc through your home. 

Your own quirk - Bloom; allowing you to create whatever kind of flora you want, wherever you want, had gotten you into the general studies course at U.A. Which is where you had met your platonic soulmate, Mina Ashido. You had instantly clicked with her when you had met at the end of your first year, and then through her, you met Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and Katsuki. At first, you hadn’t known what to think of the explosive blonde, and he didn’t seem to want much to do with you. That was until one day when you and Mina had convinced them all to hang out at an arcade, a villain attacked the street outside. Being not in the Hero course and not having a provisional license, you had left your friends to do their thing. It wasn’t however until the end that you had noticed a young boy, crying and calling for his mother. The villain had a super strength quirk and ended up throwing cars out of his way in an attempt to escape. Seeing what was about to happen before it did, you had lunged into action, throwing yourself over the boy and activating your quirk around you to create a wall of wooden spears the size of Redwoods. You had saved the child, gotten the lecture of a lifetime from Katsuki that ended in him confessing more than he wanted about how he felt about your safety. You were dating a month later and had been together ever since. You had also discovered what you wanted to do after school that day. Deciding you wanted to help people, you became a social worker that helps children who have lost their families.

Your son Kazuto’s quirk was closer to yours than your husband’s quirk, with the three-year-old having the ability to manipulate earth. His favorite thing was watching Avatar: The Last Airbender and trying to recreate what the Earth Benders did - in your living room, much to your chagrin. And you had a feeling that Koharu’s quirk was going to be something like Katsuki’s due to the fact that the baby smelt similar to your husband. 

“Hi, mum!” Kazuto shouts loudly, poking his head in the kitchen. He flashes you a smile broken by a new missing tooth, before racing down the hallway like he is set on a permanent setting of a sprint. 

“Hi you two,” You say, smiling as your husband comes into the kitchen in his casual street clothes, opting to change at the agency. 

“Hang up your bag Kazuto!” Bakugou yells after him and you pray that you have remembered to shut the nursery door. You hear a muffled response form your three-year-old before the sound of his feet dashing up the staircase and the momentary silence that follows has you sighing in relief. She's still out.

Walking over to you, Katsuki wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder. His strong arms pull you back to his chest as he looks over your shoulder to see what you’re cooking. Really, the quick curry was a bit pathetic, but after your long day, you didn’t have the willpower to cook anything fancy. As is sensing the tension in your muscles, Katsuki didn’t say a word about the food, which was a first. You were actually a good cook, but your husband was better and loved to tease you about it any second he could. So the fact that he currently stands behind you not saying a word was odd. 

“Your mother called me today.” Katsuki murmurs, his voice soft and full of concern. You sigh glumly knowing where this conversation is going. You had hoped your mother wouldn’t say anything to Katsuki after you’d called her today, in tears from frustration and insecurities falling from your lips like a boiling pot. It had been a bad day, everyone was allowed to have some bad days.

“Sweetheart, if you need help with the baby-” 

“It’s really fine Suki, it was just an off day.” You say, leaning your head back on his chest and tilting it back just enough so that you could meet his ruby gaze. “Besides, you can’t take any more time off work.” Leaning back up again, you grab the wooden spoon and stir the red sauce. Katsuki lets out a breath before moving with you, pressing a soft kiss to your neck. 

“I can take a fucking day off Y/n.” He mutters against your skin. A shiver runs up your spine and spreads down your arms, making your hair rise. Even after all these years, he still has the ability to render you to a pile of mush. 

“Your team will have my head if you take another day off, Suki.” You point out.

“Then I’ll blast them to hell after I fire them.” His response makes you smile, as he turns you around in his arms. His signature scowl covers his face, but it's the concern in his eyes that has your heart squeezing tight. He’s really worried, you realize. “Let me help you, sweetheart.” 

“Suki-” The sound of Koharu’s ear-piercing wails breaks the silence and has you resting your forehead on your husband's chest. “I’ve got her.” He says, placing a kiss to the crown of your head and giving your hips a reassuring squeeze before slinking out of the kitchen. You are so lucky to have him. 

To this day, Katsuki is still blunt and rash with the media, but people don’t really get to see the side of him that comes out with his family. He tries not to let his friends even witness it because they all give him endless shit about how much of a softie he is for his family. He denies it to hell whenever one of them brings it up, but after both the kids were born, Katsuki cried. Not a lot, just a few stray tears that engraved itself into your mind so heavily. With a sappy smile, you move the curry off the stove and begin dishing it up. As you finish, Kazuto comes wandering in on his own accord which surprises you. Normally, either you or Katsuki would have to go and get him or yell that dinner was done for the three-year-old to make an appearance. 

His vermillion gaze meets yours, and smiles. “Dad sent me down, he’s trying to put Koko to sleep,” Kazuto explains. You nod in understanding, walking the food over to the dining table. You only serve portions for you and your son, knowing that there's a chance Katsuki might not make it back down in time to eat with you. Once you are seated, you look at Kazuto and smile which is enough of an open look to make him start rambling about his day. Pro Hero’s are the first thing to come up, re-explaining the battle that one of his teachers had shown him through lunchtime, followed by his friends and then what he ate for lunch - as if you hadn’t been the one to make his lunch.

“It’s ‘Bring your parents to class day’, soon. Will you come?” His words shock you, and for a moment you just sit there blinking at your son. Kazuto looks up at you with such hope in his eyes, it makes you want to cry.

“You don’t want your dad to go?” You ask. You love Kazuto endlessly and would do anything for the sake of your children's happiness and safety, but you know that Kazuto and Katsuki have a special connection. One built on trust, love, and how much Kazuto looks up to his father as a pro hero. He truly is his father's biggest fan and honestly, it's beautiful. 

“It’s during the day, so he will probably have work. And I want you to come, you're a hero too mummy! You help save kids and help them find families.” Tears spring to your eyes, both at his admiration and the fact it's been a long day, and you so needed to hear that. Because you were a hero in your own way, you were a savior to the children you worked with. Guilt then followed behind the thought. Would I be a bad person if I didn’t go back to work then? If I wasn’t there to help them? You shake the thought from your head and look back to your son. 

“Thanks, honey,” you subtly wipe under your eyes and shove another spoonful of curry back into your mouth. “I’d be more happy than happy to come, but you might also want to ask your dad too so he doesn’t feel left out.” Kazuto nods his head ecstatically at your words before shoveling more food into his mouth. You muffle a quiet laugh at his antics. Yeah, he’s your son when it comes to his love for food.

“I also decided about my party this year for my birthday,” Kazuto says again. 

“Your birthday?” You ask, pretending to think. “No, it can’t be coming up. I clearly remember your birthday being last year!” The teasing tone goes over his head as he scrunches his face up in a pout. 

“It is! I’m four!” He argues, and you don’t hold in the smile 

“Are you sure?” You feign ignorance like you didn’t remember your own son's birthday. Finally catching on, he groans at you. 

“Muuuuummmmm...”

“Your birthday…” you begin and Kazuto beams in response before continuing on.

“Can it just be us at my party? With Aunt Mina and my uncles and cousins? I know they all might be really busy being heroes…” He asks and you're once again surprised by your son. Not one for flashy things, and not wanting to spend his outside of school time with his friends, but his family. It's adorable. His temperament at times like these takes after you so much, even though he’s the carbon copy of his father. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” you say winking, knowing that your friends would do anything for your little family. Including taking an afternoon off to spend it with their godson. Noticing he's done, you move to get his plate and gesture towards the stairs. “Why don’t you go clean up and check on your dad.” Kazuto nods and quickly scampers out of the room.

You clean up the kitchen quickly, putting leftovers in a dish and placing them in the fridge for Katsuki to raid later on. Leaving on the kitchen light, you walk out of the kitchen and past the living room to go up the stairs when the TV catches your eye. In the lounge, your eyes fall to the couch which holds your now sleeping husband and your one-month-old daughter, completely comatose on his chest. Old reruns of Friends plays quietly in the background, a show you watched compulsively whilst you were pregnant with Koharu. Squatting down next to Katsuki, you can’t help but smile at the peaceful expression on their faces. 

As if sensing your presence, Katsuki cracks open an eye, instinctively finding you. “Finally got her down I see,” you whisper, thumbing the blonde hair on the baby's head.

“Our kids fucking love me. I’ve got the magic touch.” He says and you grin.

“Oh, I’m fully aware. Mr. Tough-Explosion-man to the world, but here at home - with a sleeping baby on his chest. You’re really soft, Suki.” He now smiles at you but doesn’t make a move to reject the statement.

“Where’s Kazuto?” Katsuki asks, looking over the back of the couch to the clock on the back wall of the lounge. 

“He’s gone to wash up.” You reply, leaning forwards and picking up Koharu with very practiced and perfected stealth to take her to her crib. “He should be done by now. I’m going to put this one in her crib.” You finish, walking up the stairs and into the nursery. With baby blue painted walls and clouds that you had painstakingly illustrated whilst you had left all the assembly of things to Katsuki because the man practically growled at you when you moved to lift something. Turning on the baby monitor in Koharu’s room before quietly slipping through the door, you trudge down the hall towards the master bedroom. On your way past it, you innocently pole your head into Kazuto’s room, seeing Katsuki leaning against the wall next to Kazuto’s bed as they speak quietly amongst themselves. Every time you come into your son's room it makes you smile. The walls are covered in pro hero posters of people like his uncles and his dad. There’s even one of Deku that Katsuki doesn’t like, but once again, puts up with for his son. Kazuto’s eyes lock onto you whilst still talking to his father and you blow him a kiss before leaving the boys to their chatter. 

Closing the door behind you, you make quick work of jumping in the shower and washing your hair for - when was the last time you had washed your hair? To be honest you weren’t sure. 

With that thought, you finish your bathroom routine and get into your comfiest pajamas which consists of one of your husband's t-shirts, a favorite of yours since high-school. Beelining to the bed, you crawl under the covers and let the exhaustion of today leak out of your bones. Tomorrow was a new day, you remind yourself. It was something you found yourself frequently saying when you were overwhelmed and today, you had reached your limit. You only just close your eyes when your door opens, and Katsuki’s walks in. He’s quick and quiet like usual, but as soon as he gets in the bed, he pulls you towards him. He holds you tightly, your back against his chest - which you know won’t last for long because it's summer and the man is like a walking furnace. Placing a kiss against the back of your head, you finally decide to voice the thought that had been plaguing you all day.

“I’m thinking of taking more time off work.” Katsuki’s arms solidify around you. “Like, longer than my maternity leave.” You finish. To be honest, you weren't sure how best to broach the topic with him, even though you’ve been married for over four years now and together twice that long. You’re a very independent person and always liked having your own source of income. And relying on someone for that - there’s nothing wrong with it, you just weren’t sure that was for you. But lately, something changed. Maybe it was adding another baby to the mix, but you’ve been wanting to spend more time focusing on your kids and your husband, rather than work. 

The agency would be fine without me. Katsuki’s arms tighten around you as he helps you roll over towards him. His eyes are filled with pride and love as you look up at him. Placing his hand on your cheek, Katsuki gives you a soft smile.

“You know I’ll support everything you do. The other people at your agency will struggle for a while without you because you basically carry everyone in that fucking place.” Katsuki says. “But they will be okay. You’re the love of my life y/n, a great wife and the best mother to our little gremlins.” The buildup of stress from today bubbles over and you can’t hold in the tears. As fast as they fall, Katsuki brushes them away before placing a soft kiss on your lips. 

“I love you so much sweetheart,” A broken sob breaks out of your mouth before you can stop it which has Katsuki kissing your forehead and grasping you tighter, tucking your head under his chin. 

“Shitty woman, let me fucking help you.” He whispers and you nod against his chest. 

“I love you, Suki.” Your voice is smothered against his skin, so you place a tender kiss to the bare skin of his chest in response. Running his hands down your spine and his warm body pressed to yours, you slowly drift to sleep. Your husband really is a softy at heart. 

©️ 2021 all rights reserved to atsukashii, do not change, edit, translate, or repost any works on any platform.

[uwu-shinsou]

Stakeout

Summary: After an unexpected breakup, pro hero Ground Zero is the last person you expect to be comforting you. And also conducting a stakeout in your living room.

Warning(s): Language, themes of breakups

Pairing: Pro Hero!Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Genre: Hurt/comfort, I guess slight angst?, light fluff, Bakugo tries to be comforting

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: Okay first off idk about the whole legality of a hero secretly having a stakeout in your home but let’s just IGNORE that pls and thnx LOL. I was scrolling through AUs and saw one that was like “im an assassin conducting a stakeout in your house and you weren’t supposed to be home until next week” and I said okay but what if it was pro hero Bakugo and BAM HERE WE ARE!! So pls enjoy my first baku fic, I tried to make him just as fiery but also slightly more mature since he be a PRO in this 😌

You gotta be honest, the last thing you were expecting to come home to was a famous pro hero conducting a stakeout in your living room.

You hadn’t even planned to be home at all this long weekend. You and your boyfriend had planned a weekend trip together, driven all the way to the hotel, only for him to promptly break up with you and confess that he’d been seeing another girl for almost the entirety of your relationship. You’d dumped him, kicked his butt out of the car, and promptly driven two hours back home, trying your best not to cry over it.

You’d lugged your suitcase up five flights of stairs to your door, fumbling with your house key before sliding it into the lock. You tiredly stepped into the dark apartment, closing your door behind you with a sense of finality.

While locking the door, you began to mumble out the stream of consciousness that had been running through your mind since the moment you left the hotel.“If I ever see his face again I’m seriously gonna break his nose. How dare he even-” 

You walked a few steps forward into the living room, only to freeze up and let out a screech as the dark outline of a person moved from your couch. Your hand shot out behind you, and the metal baseball bat that you kept near the door flew through the air and into your hand. You took a prepared stance, ready to bash the intruder’s head in with your weapon.

“You have three seconds to tell me who you are before I start swinging!” You hiss, readying the bat.

“You aren’t supposed to be here,” The darkened figure said, taking a step towards.

“No! No, do not come any closer to me. I’ve had a very bad day and I will take my anger out on you!” You threaten, pointing that bat at the intruder to act as a barrier.

“Hey! Don’t do anything fucking rash! I’m just turning on the light, okay?” In a moment you were blinking into the soft light of the room, gaping at the man who you’d almost just clobbered with a bat.

Your arms slowly lowered, the tip of the bat resting on the floor as you blinked in disbelief. “...Ground Zero?” You asked dumbly.

“Yeah, that’s me,” He answered curtly. “Now what the hell are you doing here?”

You looked at light haired hero in disbelief before glancing around the room. “Uhhh, this is my apartment? We’re standing in my living room, and you were sitting on my couch. I think I’m the one who should be asking what you’re doing here.” You slung the bat over your shoulder and glared at him, trying to calm the butterflies in your stomach from the fact that one of Japan’s top pro heroes was standing in your living room. 

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” He grumbled, walking back to the couch and grabbing his phone. “WHAT THE HELL?” Ground Zero yelled as his phone flew out of his hand and into yours. His eyes closed and he huffed out an angry sigh. “Fucking telekisnesis. I forgot that was your quirk.”

Your mouth opened in surprise and you clutched his phone to your chest. “How do you know what my quirk is?”

Ground Zero opened his eyes and glared harshly at you. Questioning and antagonizing the most temperamental pro hero was probably not my smartest move you thought as he began stalking towards you.

“F/n L/n, early 20s, telekisnesis quirk, barista and occasional babysitter, lives alone, has been dating her boyfriend for five months, and, most importantly, isn’t supposed to be home for four days because she was on a trip with her shitty ass boyfriend!” He finished his statement with a growl, and his red eyes felt as if they were burning a hole in your face.

You averted your gaze, shuffling your feet as you mumbled, “Well you’re right that he is a shitty ass boyfriend.”

“Listen, I don’t have tme for your drama. According to our intel, you shouldn’t be here until Monday night,” He said accusingly.

“Well I didn’t want me to be back this early either!” You said, letting go of the bat and sending it back to it’s spot by the door. Your hands tightened into fists in frustration and you pushed past the intimidating hero, making your way into the kitchen.

“Hey- don’t you fucking walk away from me!” Ground Zero stomped behind you, staring in disbelief as you started rummaging through your pantry. “I asked you a question!”

You turned around to face him, holding a full package of cookies. “Guess what, Ground Zero? I don’t care!” You exclaimed, opening the package. “Honestly? I don’t even care why you’re in my apartment! Go ahead, make yourself at home! Sit on my couch, eat my food, watch my TV, it doesn’t even matter! The past five months of my life have been a fucking lie, so please just leave me alone to cry in my room and eat my feelings away.” You shoved a cookie into your mouth and tried to step past him. The hero side stepped into your path, and no matter which way you tried to go, he was in front of you. You were just about ready to take a swing at him when he started talking.

“Y/n,” He said. Hearing him use your name startled you enough to stop you in place. He huffed out a quick sigh before speaking. “We’ve been tracking down a rising villainous organization for half a year now. Eveytime that we get close to making the bust, they pick up and move operations. This time, we’re one step ahead of them.” He gently took your arm and guided you back into the living room and over to the window. “We have to take extra precautions when dealing with them, since any sign that the police are on to them causes them to run.” He points out the window to the building next door. It was a squat, rectangular warehouse of four stories. With you apartment being on the fifth floor, it had the perfect view in through a poorly covered sky light. 

The pro hero switched out the lights in the room, allowing you to see clearly out and into the other building. You crouched down to get an even better look, and Ground Zero lowered himself down next to you. He handed you a pair of binoculars and pointed to the left side of the skylight, where you could see a group of people working at a long table. Looking through the binoculars brought the figures into clearer view.

“Ground Zero, are they-”

“Bakugo,” He said, interrupting you. “Just- Bakugo is fine, okay?”

You glanced at him in surprise before looking back into the adjacent building. “Alright then, Bakugo. Are they making-” You squinted and focused harder on the objects lying on the table. “Support items?”

“Yeah that’s right,” He responded. “A black market organization for support items to supply to villains. We’ve been through hell trying to track the weapons back to them, but we had a breakthrough a few weeks ago.”

You hummed in thought, shoving a cookie in your mouth before offering one to the pro hero. Bakugo’s eyebrows raised in surprise, but he accepted it nonetheless.

“So you needed my apartment to finish getting your dirt on them, and then you planned on doing your big bust?”

“More or less, yeah. And being here,” He gestured vaguely to your apartment. “Was critical because that skylight was in the perfect place to capture incriminating photos of them doing deals earlier tonight. We’re fucking finally ready to finish this.”

“And how many heroes are on this job, exactly?”

Bakugo held up a hand, counting on his fingers as he thought through it. You hid a smile behind your hand at the gesture. “I guess a dozen or so, plus the local police force. There’s a good number of those shitty criminals in there, but we’ve faced a lot worse.”

You sighed, eating another cookie. “Well, sorry that my breakup got in the way of your important hero plans. I could leave I guess, maybe stay with a friend for the weekend-”

“Shut the hell up, I’m not gonna kick you out of your own damn apartment,” He said, rising from his spot on the floor beside you and going back to his supplies laid out on the couch. “I’m not exactly a very patient person so the bust is happening within an hour anyways. There are heroes and police stationed all around in the other buildings and streets, so I won’t be in your hair for that much longer.”

“Oh,” Was all you said, slowly putting a cookie in your mouth. 

The hero stopped fiddling with his supplies and plopped onto the couch, his furrowed eyes meeting your gaze. You raised an eyebrow in question, holding out the cookie package in a silent offering.

“No that’s not- did you say ‘breakup’?”

You huffed out a humorless laugh. “Uh huh. Bastard was cheating on me for basically our entire relationship. I guess I just wasn’t good enough or something.” You bit the inside of your lip and looked down at your lap, furiously trying not to cry. I’ve already embarrassed myself enough, I definitely do not need him to see me crying right now.

“But don’t worry about me, I should just leave you to get ready to, er- arrest some criminals and- do your hero stuff.” You quickly stood up, clutching the cookie package to your chest, and tried to make your way past him while hiding you face. “I’ll just- go sit in my room so I don’t bother you.”

You’d almost made it to the hallway when you suddenly bumped into something that was definitely not your furniture.

You let out an “oof” as you collided with Bakugo’s chest, his hands landing on your shoulders to steady you. You glanced up at him, and his face showed he was just as surprised as you were. He then realized he was still touching you, and took his hands off your shoulders like it had burned him.

“Listen- it’s shitty that he did that to you, and there’s no way you deserved it,” Bakugo said, and the absolute sincerity of it made you burst into tears.

Bakugo started to panic then. “Oh shit, what’s wrong? Did I say it wrong or-” He cut himself off as you vehemently started shaking your head, trying to rub the tears away.

“No no no no,” You said, assuring him. You sniffled, desperately trying to stop your crying. “I guess that I just-” A fresh wave of tears hit you and started rolling down your face, making Bakugo hover his hands in front of him, unsure of what to do. 

“I know that I’m not very good at this, but if you want I can go and beat the shit out of him or something,” He said, making you laugh as you wiped your face.

“I was trying to say that it just- meant a lot to me, that you said that,” you said as you started to calm down. “I didn’t really believe it before, that I didn’t deserve that to happen to me, but when your favorite pro hero says it to you…” You shrugged, giving him a wobbly smile. “Maybe it is true.”

He gave you an assuring smile that you could almost call a smirk. “Well you better believe it, honey, because it’s the truth.” He paused, smugly crossing his arms. “So, your favorite hero, huh?”

“Ahaha,” you felt your face go warm, and you gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorta kinda yeah.” The admission seemed to surprise him, like he didn’t know how to respond.

The beeping of Bakugo’s phone in the living room drew the two of you out of the moment. He bumped his shoulder playfully into yours as he passed. “Glad to hear that I’m your favorite.”

You scrambled to the kitchen to put away your cookies and splash a bit of water on your face as he answered the phone. You could just make out his conversation over the running water.

“What’s up, nerd?... Yeah, I know. I got all the pictures we needed... Good. Everything’s still quiet in there… Got it, I’ll see you in a few.” 

He hung up his phone just as you edged into the living room, watching him glance out the window into the criminal’s headquarters. He let out a huff of a sigh as he started packing up his things. 

You wandered in a little bit further. “So it’s time, then?” You asked. He looked up at you as he finished his packing.

“Yeah, time to beat some villain asses,” He said, shouldering his bag. “You gonna be alright?”

You gave him a soft smile. “I will be. I already feel a lot lighter, like the weight of a whole ass grown man has been released from my body.” Bakugo let out a snort of laughter before falling quiet. “Really, I will be.” You reassured him.

“Of course. But I was serious, if you ever need me to go and knock him around-”

You snickered at him. “Very hero-like.”

“Hell yeah it is,” He responded as you walked him towards the door, opening it for him. “Also maybe don’t go around telling people this happened, ‘cause I’ll probably get my ass kicked for sharing classified information.”

“My lips are sealed, pinky promise,” You said, holding your pinky out towards him. He scoffed but linked his pinky with yours nonetheless. “Good luck, Bakugo.” You started pulling your hand back before he grabbed it and pressed something into it.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” He said with a wink before making his way downstairs and out into the night. You slowly closed the door, leaning back against it and taking a deep breath before opening your hand.

Inside was a scrap of paper with a phone number scrawled across it, and the words “your fav hero” written below.

You may have looked out your window a little more than usual during the rest of the night.

[waterbearwaltz]

Together, Apart

For @kataang-week‘s Kataang Valentine’s Bash 2021.

I swear I tried to write something happy for this, but tbh after this last year all that’s left in me is sadness and pornography. So that’s what I’ve got for you.

Prompt pair: Together and Apart

Summary: Katara and Aang deal with an outbreak of illness in the Earth Kingdom.

Rating: Explicit. | Word Count: ~10k | Ao3

Katara held her hands over the young girl’s chest, focusing the water’s energy into a living swirl of light. She felt chi swell where she held the water, and the skin flushed as blood followed suit. Shae breathed a bit faster, but didn’t stir. She was used to this now, they’d been at it for months. Slowly, Katara felt something like a well filling beneath her fingers, and a sudden rush as the energy began to flow again on its own, unimpeded by tissue that had been dying just an hour earlier. 

This was so different from the healing she’d done during the war. Broken bones, burned skin, injuries that she could see and touch and understand. When she’d worked on Sokka’s broken leg, it was like the fragments of bone ached to join back together, they just needed a little push. It seemed so much easier, in retrospect. Then again, maybe those injuries had just been more spread out in time.

Katara sat back on her heels and let out a breath, slipping the water back into the bowl beside her. The sun was just dipping below the tree line, filling the makeshift hospital tent with warm orange light. Her eyes moved over the empty beds, it was the most deserted she’d seen the place since she arrived. An exhausted smile pulled at her lips. “I think that’s enough for today, Shae.”

The girl opened her eyes and shot Katara a mischievous grin. “Can I show you something, Yisheng?” she asked, using the colloquial term for healer in this part of the Earth Kingdom. 

“Sure,” Katara replied with the same tired smile. Shae rolled off the mat and onto her feet, slipping out of the tent into the gathering night. Katara stood in the doorway and watched her young patient rock back on one foot and launch into a set of cartwheels with a breathless little shriek. 

“Are you watching? Are you watching?” 

Katara laughed. “I’m watching, Shae. Be careful though, you’ll tire yourself out!”

“No I won’t I’m completely--” Shae’s argument was cut off by a sharp fit of coughs, and she grasped her knees to steady herself. Katara rushed forward and slipped a steady arm around her. 

“Come on, let’s get you home, your mom will be worried.”

Shae leaned on her as they walked, and when she spoke again her voice was breathy but excited. “You know what would help her worry less? if you tell her how much better I’m doing. I mean, if I can do six whole cartwheels I’m definitely healed enough to play with Sonna and Jai tomorrow, right?”

“I’ll talk to her meimei, but we still have a ways to go before you’re better.”

--

When they’d first arrived in Dei Shung, it was to help fly healers in from the north and distribute aid from the Fire Nation. The reports of illness and unrest in the town hadn’t prepared them for the devastation they found when they got there. Katara and Sokka got the healers set up while Aang and Toph met with the mayor about alleviating the panic that had gripped the town. They broke up frenzied mobs, bent makeshift shelters to replace buildings that had been destroyed, anything they could think of that might help restore order. Toph and a couple of her metal bending students got to work chasing off the bandits who were circling the town like vultures, picking off the weak as they fled. 

Sokka was the first to take ill, just a few days after they arrived. For him it was fever, with a blotchy red rash creeping up from under the collar of his tunic. Katara caught it fast, thank the spirits, and sent him away along with anyone else who wasn’t essential. This wasn’t the manageable illness they’d been expecting to find, and it was just too dangerous to have anyone exposed to who didn’t need to be. She tried to send Aang with them, but it was pointless. 

“If I was staying, would you leave?” he asked. They both knew the answer to that. His expression was soft, but Katara had learned the subtle signs of his resolve. The slightly furrowed brow, the edge of intensity to his gaze, his grip on her hand just a little bit tighter than it needed to be, as though she might try to physically force him onto the airship. For all the airbender in him, he’d learned to be immovable when he needed to be. So they stood together as the ship left the dock, ferrying their friends back to safety along with anyone healthy enough to pack up their lives and flee.

The next few weeks were a blur. Katara spent all day in the healing tents raking water along body after body, feeling like she was trying to keep an entire town from drowning. Sometimes she wondered if she was making any difference at all. At night Aang would settle behind her in their room, and they’d talk quietly about their days while he worked the knots out of her neck. The first time she lost a patient, she cried the whole night. The next day, she lost three more. 

“Remember when you told me about the night Avatar Roku died?” she whispered into his neck one night after she was too exhausted to cry anymore. He pulled away just enough to look at her. Their bed was pushed up to the window and the night was clear and bright and she saw the glint of unshed tears in his eyes. He nodded, brushing hair from her damp face, brow tense with concern. 

“This feels like that. Like fighting...I don’t know, a force of nature. It just keeps coming, Aang. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to stop it.”

“No one’s expecting you to stop it alone.” He kissed her forehead and fell quiet for a moment, considering. ”Do you want to leave? It’s ok if you do. I can stay behind or come with you, back to Ba Sing Se, or wherever you want to go.” Another pause, and then, more quietly,  “I’m worried about what this is doing to you, Katara.” 

She was deeply ashamed that this thought had already crossed her mind, a few days ago at the bedside of a young man about her age. He had broad shoulders and a deep laugh, and spent the first day cracking jokes with the healers and offering his help with the older patients. Then, all at once, it just ripped through him. By the time Katara got to him, there was nothing she could do. Her eyes began to sting again but she set her jaw and shook her head. “I can’t leave these people. Even if I can’t stop this, I have to try. They need every healer they can get.”

He pulled her against him, one arm tight around her back and the other cradling the back of her head. “I love you. And I’m here for you, whatever you need. We’ll get through this, I promise.”

“I love you too.”

About a month after they arrived, Amka, one of the older healers, got sick. They took turns caring for her amidst all the other patients. Her daughter, Nukka, worked on her the most. It was always fastest with the elderly. A quick funeral behind the hospital was all they could manage. Katara asked Nukka if she wanted to say a few words, but she was beyond speech. In the end, they all stood quietly around the grave before breaking off, a few at a time, to return to work. Katara stayed the longest, one hand rubbing Nukka’s back as she sobbed, the other gripping Aang’s so tight it hurt.

The next day she woke up to Aang shivering next to her in bed.

“No” a hoarse whisper tore out of her mouth. She could feel her heart pounding in every part of her body as she ripped the blankets off him and rolled him onto his back. He moaned groggily, fighting to wake up. Her breath quickened. He was usually up with the sun. 

There were pins and needles in her hands as she ran them over his chest, arms, neck, checking for the telltale rash. She pushed him onto his side to check his back. Nothing. 

“Katara, what are you doing?” his voice thick with sleep. 

“This is not happening” she muttered, more to herself than him. One hand pulled the water from her satchel across the room while the other yanked him down the bed so she could straddle him more easily. It started in the lungs, if she could kill it there they’d have a chance. 

“Katara!” He caught her wrists and the spirit water dropped, soaking them both. Her eyes snapped to his. He was wide awake now, alert and pale and a little panicked. Her heart was beating so hard it made her head spin and her skin feel raw. 

“Fever,” she choked out, suddenly aware she was crying. “You have a fever, I have to--” she shook his hands off hers and pulled the water off the bed and out of their clothing, coaxing it back to a gentle glow.

“Katara, it’s ok, I feel fine. This might not even be--”

“I know exactly what it is” she spat, feeling the familiar blocked energies in his chest, the fluid pooling in his lungs. She couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been, she should have insisted he leave with Sokka and the others. She should have forced him, begged him, tricked him, anything to get him on that ship. Her vision blurred and she impatiently blinked away tears, struggling to keep her concentration. A barking sob came from somewhere, maybe her, and his hands were on hers again, bending the water into a bowl on the nightstand and gathering her toward him. 

“No, Aang I have to--” 

“I know Sweetie, just take a minute, please.” His voice was thin and had a pleading edge to it that just unnerved her more.

“There’s no time, I need to start before it spreads!” She had to stop to suck in air between words. She felt like she was fighting a battle and losing, struggling just to keep feet underneath her. 

“We have a minute. Please Katara, you’re scaring me. Just breath. Please. For me.”

Katara wanted to argue but couldn’t find the air to get the words out. She tried to pull back but her limbs felt thick and numb and her muscles weren’t responding. Another of those barking sobs scraped out of her chest and he lifted himself against the headboard, tucking her against him and stroking her back, her hair, her arms. 

“Try to breathe with me ok? In and out. Just match my breath. That’s it. Nice and slow.” Her cheek was pressed against his chest and she rose and fell with him as he breathed. No matter how much air she sucked in it felt like she was suffocating. She breathed anyway, matching his rhythm as well as she could manage. Bit by bit, feeling returned to her limbs, and the vice around her chest began to dissolve. His heart beat against her ear and she turned her face into it, trying to breath in his skin, tasting the sweat on his chest. 

“I can’t lose you too,” she whispered into him. He kissed the top of her head. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he rumbled beneath her. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m the avatar. It’s pretty hard to kill me. Plus, the best healer in the world is totally in love with me, so I think I’m pretty safe.”

She heard the smile in his voice and felt a hot surge of anger. She pushed herself up enough to see his face. 

“I couldn’t save Amka or Aia, or Sammi, or Lee’s twins, or--” she broke off, the dead stretching out before her. She didn’t even know all their names anymore. The anger left as quickly as it had come. She let her head drop back against his chest, as tired as she could ever remember being. 

“I know. I know. This is a terrible tragedy. But you’re not a god, Sweetie. No one expects you to save every person who gets sick. But think of everyone you did save. Katara, how many people are alive right now because of you?”

They were quiet for a few minutes, breathing together on the bed. Finally, she reached up and kissed him softly. His face was hot under her hands. “Please. I need to start working on you now.” 

“I know. Just take care of yourself too, ok? I’m going to be fine. I’m in good hands.” The way he looked at her with total trust twisted something in her chest. Her throat felt tight and she cleared it to push back the tears.

“Lay down.”

She worked through the day and well into the night. He slept fitfully for most of it as the fever crested and she fought to keep it at bay, to keep the sickness from settling deeper into him. She’d caught it early, she thought. He was muddled, but not incoherent. He couldn’t have been running a temperature for more than a few hours.

Moving over his prone form like this reminded Katara far too much of the weeks after Ba Sing Se fell, and she did her best to seal that thought tightly in the back of her mind. Coming undone again would only hurt him, he needed her calm, focused, and attentive. 

He was larger than her now, more difficult to maneuver, but the ebb and flow of his energies felt the same. There was an intimacy here that never occurred to her with her other patients. She was reaching inside him, guiding the most basic systems in his body. Under different circumstances it might have been beautiful.

A day passed, maybe two. Katara grew more and more tired until she passed through tiredness altogether. Being immersed in the rhythms of someone else’s body for so long, it was easy to forget her own. Like after Ba Sing Se fell. No, not that. Here. This. Him. 

Finally, when she’d done everything she could think of twice over, she paused, blinking blearily out the window at the rising sun. There was a cold bowl of soup on the nightstand. Someone must have brought it to her, but she couldn’t remember when. She checked Aang one last time and collapsed next to him, grateful for the darkness that swallowed her.

----

Continue on Ao3

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Final Four: Beaks in the Shell! or JESUS WEPT!

This.. this is a big occasion for me. It’s a return to regular Ducktales coverage.. but it’s also the first episode of the LAST four of the series. It was thanks to Ducktales my blog got a following, first through in character chat things, then through my reviews of this very season. It was starting this last year that took my blog from something I was passionate abbout but did ocassionaly to a vital part of my being and my source of income via one lucky boy who just wont’ let me stop! I kid of course, I thank kev for it, though i’d gladly welcome any other review comissions from you fine folks and fit them into the schedule. There’s a page on my blog for how and if your on mobile you can simply send me an ask or submit to ask about comissiong an episode or episodes of an animated shwo you like and i’ll give you my prices and what not. But it’s thanks to these Kev started comissioning in the first place and thanks to you all clicking on these reviews every week I do them that kept me doing them early on. So I wanted to thank you all. 

Covering the last four episodes is really bittersweet for me. It’s not the end for ducks here: I have most of seasons 1 and 2 to cover, and will be covering a lot of season 1 next month so I can properly cover shadow war for my Lena retrospective, not to mention continuing to cover life and times when I have the space, various birthdays, including Carl Barks Next Month!, and so on and so on. But this is not only the first show I covered on a weekly basis but it’s the first show i’ve covered like that to end. To put it in perspective, Loud House won’t be leaving until it WANTS to and even then nick will probably prepare a second spinoff to follow it up in some form, Amphibia has both the rest of season 2 to go, starting next month!, and a third season renewal meaning while that probably WILL be it i’ll have had two full seasons to cover by the time it’s over, and I went into Close Enough FULLY expecting it not to make it past season 1 as it’s long and harried production cycle lead me to belivie Time-Warner was just going to dump it on HBO Max and be done with it.. and to my utter and everlasting delight the opposite has happened: It didn’t just get renewed but it’s become one of HBO Max’s most popular shows, the flagship of it’s adult animation lineup, and been given THREE more seasons, two of which are coming very soon, and likely will get as many as it wants for the forseable future. 

The point is.. I went into covering Ducktales expecting at least one more season and genuinely not knowing if i’d make it thorugh covering this one, and once this started to really work out for me, to the point from doubting i’d EVER be able to set up a Patreon to having one that nets me ten dollars a month, feel free to contribute if you enjoy these reviews even a buck a month helps, honest. Plus thanks to that ten bucks a month i’ll be covering the five part 87 Ducktales pilot in April and if you get it up to ten i’ll cover super ducktales. But I wouldn’t even had one without these reviews giving me something to start with, and I figured they’d be around for a few more years, at least one more season. I didn’t think the show would just.. end with this season and while the season IS a proper final season of the show, wrapping up arcs, introducing long overdue cast additions, giving us the biggest and best overarching plot thus far.. a good final season dosen’t make it hurt any less. But as a wise Synthizoid once said...

It hurts it’s going.. I wasn’t prepared for it.. but it’s giving us one hell of a last act, and if this episode is any indication, just because the end is in sight dosen’t mean the last few eps before the finale are phoning it in. This is the end... so now i’ve got my emotional stuff and the weight behind it out of the way, for now i’m defintely going to be bawling come the finale and I’m not ashamed, we can dive into the begining of the end. Counting down.. because really when else am I going to get to use this...

We’re at four and under the cut it’s beaks in the shell. Let’s get dangerous. 

We open with a crime in progress as Gandra is stealing a thing for FOWL and Fenton has shown up on the scene to stop her as you’d expect.. along with Huey the boy wonder! He’s finally Fenton’s Sidekick!

Seriously it’s just so sweet to see this little payoff, to see Huey, after talking about it and clearly wanting to assit Fenton however he can, actually participate. Granted he dosen’t have an armor, yet, of his own, but still he’s been through enough stuff to be helpful> plus, Gyro’s reaction to Fenton trying to ge the resources for another gizmosuit was...

Gandra trips up his wheel, and im with 87 Scrooge in Ducktales Remastered, which I finally got to play recently! Horay!, what WAS gyro thinking with that design. Regardless she gets away, and our heroes return the loot off screen. Good day’s crime fighting. 

Except something’s off with Fenton as he’s been working extra late lately and lying to both Gyro and Ma’Ma about it with both suspcious, Gyro because he dosen’t like not knowing things and especially not knowing what his former intern’s up to because he’s a bit of a control freak.. and because he probably can’t go visit his new clone farm and work on speeding up the process of his replacement bodies after moonvasion used em all up without Fenton finding out as he’d tell Scrooge and Scrooge would be like “Stop playing God in ways that could get me a steep fine!”. It’d be a whole thing. The fact Fenton’s also using their now shared intern in Manny and neither is telling him why probably isn’t helping and i’ts only that workplace harassment seminar that keeps him from trying to strangle either of them again. That and Manny dosen’t have a neck.

Ma’Ma is more upset that not only is he lying to her again, more on that later, but .. that she’s figured out he has a new girlfriend and understandably thinks there’s some dark reason he’s not telling her, and unlike Gyro turns out she’s two for two. I mean she is a detective while Gyro is more worried about his clone army, his man horse and his robot son. I mean the last two are valid but still Mama just has to worry about her job and her socially awkward adult son. She has more time to focus on this.

But yes, not only is Fenton seeing someone.. but it’s Gandra again. A bit abrubt but honestly this isn’t the first Fenton episode to move his life fast.. and frankly i’m more lenient on final seasons, or seasons INTENDED to be the last ones in terms of offscreen stuff, as your trying to get everything you can wrapped up in the span of 13-24 episodes depending on how lucky you get, if not less. Sometimes you just gotta use a reveal and some exposition to hurry things along and if presented right it works.. and here it is a while the summary for this episode spoiled the reveal, i’ts still subtly dramatic that not only has hef ully forgiven her.. but their together.. despite the fact she still works for fowl. Wuh-oh.  After the credits we get an idea of what their working on, as Fenton used the gizmoduck suit to enter some kind of VR scape. This is the Gizmoscape! It’s a vast virtual reality landscape.. that looks like a fancy version of the VR Interface from community. Marble pillars, flowing water falls. Though ironically enough Jim Rash’s character is NOT a part of it and despite Fenton suggesting letting him in to help with their glitch problem she’s reluctant as it’s THEIR baby and she wants it to be perfect first before they allow other people in. Though i’m also sure part of it is that Gyro would start screaming JESUS WEPT! over and over. 

Meanwhile Mark Beaks is having a big flashy press confrence to announce the new Waddlephone. Only a 50% chance of exploding! And that’s not my dig at Samsung but the shows as that’s really Beaks sales pitch. Unsuprisingly only one VERY bored looking nerd is there at the confrence. As for why he’s finally fallen so low part of it is explalined in the episode: His attempted thefts of the Gizmoduck suit have gotten stale. As the bored nerd puts it he’s tried to steal it four times already, two that we’ve seen but i’m VERY unsuprised he’s tried again off screen. He’s made it PAINFULLY clear he has no ideas of his own, constantly steals them, and the public’s tired of it. As for why it took THIS LONG.. this is sadly realistic. As the throngs of “hardcore gamers” defending Cyberpunk 2077 before it was released can attest to, internet nerd culture can often be toxic, stupid and defend big personalities even when they’ve CLEARLY done something terrible as long as their doing something they like. Beaks was clearly pilfering enough good products and doing enough antics on social media to still be liked and for them to ignore his blanat and douchey crimes and had enough money on him during said crimes to walk away from it. 

Problem is.. while people can be awful and defend someone despite them not deserving their loyality, being a douche in public and doing VERY terrible things.. you have to have something to earn that loyalty. Waddle had that at first iwth project ta-dah, Waddleduck, various aps i’m sure... but it’s clear from context by this point Beaks has nothing left and no cult of personality to insulate him. Unlike say Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos he dosen’t HAVE some big product to mask his shadier wealth hoarding actions, he just has rampat supervilian attempts to steal someone else’s power armor and a hired hyjacking to get back at his cold unloving mother. Even when he does supervillian stuff like that.. he can’t be bothered to do it originally. The public will, and very sadly, defend you from terrible stuff, we’ve seen it with people supproting Gina Carano even though she’s actively spreading harmful disnfermation and then had the GALL to compare herself to jews hiding from the nazis, and one journalist trying to defend her had the gall to compare this to the hollywood blacklisting if the 50′s instead of you know, someone who woudln’t shut up about harmful dangerous shit finally getting fired for using teh platform said job provided to spread said harmful dangerous shit about masks and the vacine. But if you have nothing to offer.. thieri just going to forget you and move on. He has nothing to offer so they’ll gladly gravitate to some other jackass who can at leasat given them a neat phone instead of trying to steal a superhero suit for the 8th time. Mark realizes if he can’t steal something soon.. he’ll be forced to go with the Nuclear option: MAKE SOMETHING HIMSELF. 

Back at Fenton’s toilet lab, Huey finds Fenton having some cyber makeouts with Gandra... which translates to him kissing the air and Huey feeling evne more awarkd than usual. As for why Huey’s here despite it being late, he got a piece of Gandra’s nanotech during the robbery and figures they can track her. Fenton is.. less than enthused about that for obvious reasons but things soon get worse for our hero as our other hero notices the linkup. And while sidekicks are a good thing in my eyes; They allow young heroes to get proper training, help nuture their talents and prevent assholes from telling them to stop it instead of you know helping them. It’s.. a more common trope than you think let me tell you. 

But Fenton’s discovered the Downside is they can show up anytime, want to hunt your criminal girlfriend down not knowing the full story, and if their a genius like you, figure out what your up to with no effort and really want to try it. Seriously Huey’s almost as smart as you Fenton and will no doubt surpass you one day, this was a matter of when not if and you shouldv’e been more prepared. But Huey wants to try, and while Fenton tries deflecting since he only has the gizmoduck helmet and it only works for him now... Manny comes in with a bunch of vr rigs and Huey dives in.  Naturally, Huey soon running directly into Gandra dosne’t go great.. and given this is huey his natural instinct is to have a panic attack over his best friend, mentor and the only person besides maybe his family, boyfriend and girlfriend that really gets him possibly betraying him and his entire family. Gandra is of course mad Fenton invited someone in when she didn’t want that, and even more someone whose clearly not happy with her and will likely tell on them because that’s basic hue-man nature. 

Fenton explains he didn’t ask for this, so we get easily the best part of the episode: Gandra’s solution to the child having a mental breakdown.. is to summon a weighted blanket and throw it over him, which Huey mistakes for a trap and she explains helps with Anxiety.. and while he struggles.. it really does. Damn gotta get me one of those. Also while his Autisim remains vauge, likely on puprose, Huey having anxiety disorder, while obvious before, is now 100% confirmed. 

So now he’s calm, though his Anxiety meter shows he’s still not happy and Gandra doubts he’ll listen, Fenton can at least try and explain: The two have been seeing each other and working on this in secret.. but it has NOTHING to do with FOWL other than Gandra embezzling resoruces to make it happen. Gandra also explains why the project is so important to her and Fenton via her own backstory: Super Science is a dangerous, unrpedictable field and accidents happen a lot, and given people tend to hate what they don’t understand, hence why the X-Men founded their own island  after getting spat on one too many times, it often gets an unfair bad wrap.. and she shows she’s had to put up with this her whole life, making an intresting lazer thing as a kid that lost to a volcano and getting glared at for it accidently destroying said volcano. And as an adult due to her work’s dangerous and experimental nature, no one would take a chance on it and like many a super villian she had to experiment on herself. It’s also why she worked for Beaks last season and works with FOWL now, only supervillians with thier grandiose ambitions and lack of care for property damage would fund her. 

That’s part, at least, of why this is so very important to her: The Gizmoscap eprovides an invorment where scientests and others can experiment unabated, where the only limit is imagination and those glitches they keep having and any accident can be frozen , dragged and dropped away with no damage. There’s no risk but all the reward and they plan to give it out for free, to let the public use this and let the world grow from it. 

It also fills in a lot of Gandra’s character and gives weight to her last apperance: Her working with Beaks, while hypocritical, now has a tragic edge as he was simply the only one who’d fund her work. Her hatred of Fenton’s corprroate job and people like Scrooge.. is that in general billionares like him usually aren’t good people, and even SCrooge has his clear faults, and she assumed he was just making Fenton shut up and do things just to beniefit him and make him more money.. when Scrooge was instaead paying him to do a genuine public service as gizmoduck, and gives him and Gyro a LOT of leway and a pretty bottomless budget and only turns things down if their way too dangeorus for public release. The tragedy here is if she’d gone to Scrooge.. she never would’ve had to work for FOWL. He wouldd’ve genuinely supported her and likely given her a full ride and a spot in the lab of her own, maybe as an intern but probably on her own merit given how game changing her tech is and how he of all people understands a ballance of risk and reward. It turns her from a very hypcoriticla techie who works with the very people she scorns.. to someone who has no choice and desperatley wants out.  And this is her way out: something new and bold that’, while not hers alone as Fenton co created it, could change the world and make it safe for people like her to do what they do without ridcule, scorn or risk. It’s everything she could’ve dreamed of and more and once it’s done she promises to leave fowl and as the end of the episode bares out, and as her tone makes clear, she’s genuine about it. She also TRULY does love fenton and vice versa and both are desspearte for Huey to keep a lid on things from Gyro till it’s ready, as she rightfully worries if it gets out unfisnished they’ll just be mocked agian.  Naturally being a good soft boy Huey is now entirely on board, because he loves science, and he loves love and this is both. And frankly given what we saw way back in Astro BOYD... .he knows more than anyone what its like to be laughed at and mocked for being diffrent and simply being smart. And even though his family lvoes him.. only one member is as smart as him in the same way, his mom whose still a very diffrent person, and it wasn’t till this season he really got to connect with people his own age like him. And both Violet and BOYD could benifit form this.. everyone could. So he’ll keep it secret for now.  This proves problematic as both Gyro AND Mama are there and both have questions. And while Huey ducks gyro, Mama.. interrogates a small child who she’s defintely met and likely knows has anxiety over something as trivial as her son having a secret girlfrined. You.. you guys might’ve wanted to remove this bit given last year. I”m just saying. Does not play well. The most Huey can come up with is a girlfriend in Canada which fenton plays along with... but given neither her nor gyro are really buying into things, though Mama has a check done on seamstresses in canada just in case because this bit was clearly written years ago and not rerecorded for whatever reason, Huey uses little bulb to fake a gizmo emergency so Fenton can get out of there, go home and work on this himself while Huey stalls and lies. But since his best on the fly lie was “a girlfriend in canada”, which is somehow worse than “who’s Dewey”, and while our boy is many things: excellent at opera, a good friend, a wonderful wingman, excellent at setting a mood, a good son, great at panic attacks, a genius, an expert woodchuck, knowledgeble on quantum mechanics.. the list goes on lying is not one of those things and he seems to be in a pickle. 

Meanwhile Mark is struggling to create, can relate, because he’s entirely creatively sterile. And that’s probably why out of Scrooge’s foes.. he stopped being a threat. He has no vision. And while true the Beagle BOys also don’t besides steal stuff and maybe get our deed back, that’s by design as Ma knows they can’t take scrooge or gizmoduck so why cry. Stick to petty crimes and stuff he isn’t aware of or dosen’t care about. But Magica and Glomgold do. Magica is cunning, if not subtle, and manipulative and when on full blast horrifyingly powerful, and it took everything Clan McDuck had to stop her at full, and she still nearly won without any powers when she came back, and even if Lena can keep her in check now, she still GOT her powers back and got her new arch enemy to defeat her old one. Glomgold while only slightly more comipitent than beaks, and even then VERY slightly, he at least has vision. His schemes are entirely stupid.. but he dosen’t stop coming up with them. They may be his first draft but damn if they aren’t entertaining and damn if one or two haven’t WORKED. Simply stealing a few cents from scrooge and gaslighting him in a devil costume NEARLY drove him insane and cost him his fortune.  Beaks.. has no ideas. He has ambiation.. but it’s to steal the same tech that even if he got it, he woudln’t know what to do with. The ONLY time he’s been a full on threat has been using someone else’s scheme, that Gandra clearly came up with and STILL required piggybacking on the gizmo suit. He has nothing and while it was fine for a while.. eventually h’es left iwth nothing. Glomgold at least has money, magica at least has power... Beaks HAD both.. but had no idea what to properly do with it and now is on his last legs. Even his idea for a coffee cups with aps is taken because of course “even the dumbest ideas are taken”, this is america. Making dumb shit for rich morons is our primary export. But he sees the fleeing fenton, has a breakdown and declares FINE if that’s what fate wants i’ll steal the armor I’LL STEAL THE ARMOR ALL DAY. 

So Fenton heads home to recharge in both senses of the word, and to tell Gandra the timetable’s moved and Huey can hold them only so long. And he seems to be wrong as Huey confidently prepares to answer their questions.. but is seemingly thrown when we get the real reason Mama is so upset: She’s just worried and still a bit hurt from Fenton not feeling he could tell her he was gizmoduck and it breaks her heart that her son feels he has to hide from her again. However while this is genuinely sad and emotional.. the reason he’s thrown is it’s NOT huey, but Louie, whose a bit miffed as he DIDN’T know Fenton was Gizmoduck, and can’t properly bullshit without full info. it’s also really nice that bit FINALLY came up as the rest of the four main kids have known for a while now. But Huey convincnes him to do it.. for 6 months allowance. Frankly the real shocker here is that they actually GET an allowance. 

However Mama.. is again a cop. One who REALLY needs to rethink her ethics.. but a cop, and the best one on the force, and thus has easily guessed this is not Huey, and given she’s probably ran into his schemes before, figures out which one he’d bring in to buffer for him and easily gets rid of Louie by asking him to tur informant on himself, since the REAL Huey would under pressure and Louie instead flees in terror not wanting to get arrested and leaves both the lab and the episode. Though I’m pretty sure i know where he went

So yeah things are not great and only get worse, as Mark breaks into fentons house via the open window and upon finding out abotu the Gizmoscape naturally plans to hack into it and take it for himself. Before he does Fenton talks to Gandra and admits they may have to let other people in and we get another reason: She’s worried she’s not good enough. He reassures her.. and this tender moment is interupted by Beaks who imprisons them, hyjacks fenton’s security system aka a gizmo armor, and while still a creatively sterile douche, does have a decent if horrifically scummy way to profit all of this: use the open coloabreation concept to get the legal right to steal all this and say it’s his. 

Fenton bemaons the fact that Gandra was right, one bad apple spoiled the bunch and unveling it too qiuckly would’ve gone bad as she feared.. but Gandra’s grown and realizes Fenton was also right, and that they needed more people. While the wrong people can ruin a project, collaboration can help, finding perspectives you didn’t see and helping fine tune ideas. Huey, whose collapsed at Fenton’s due to the exustion of lying, wakes up to find Beaks crimes and being unable to just unplug him, as while Beaks is VERY dumb, even he’s not THAT stupid. But Fenton gets out an SOS over morse to tell everyone So Huey does.. and the calvary arrives, as Huey enters the Gizmoscape with Mama and Gyro. And while Mama is pleased to realize she’s right about the girlfirend thing they don’t really have time for that, so once Huey explains the basic concept, he uses it himself to give himself GIZMO ARMOR. AT LAST. 

He also has extra long legs, because of course, just.. of course. Naturally Beaks steals it, and everyone else takes a stab at their own gizmotech armor: Mama daawns a stunning police themed one, Gyro goes for a bulb mecha based on the giant version of little bulb from the great dime chase, an idea brought up by LB, and Gandra goes for a sleek tron esque nanotech number. Beaks take sa bit from each and our heroes wonder how to beat him.. but Fenton realizes that’s simple: Beaks can only copy and steal... they can create. And Gandra uses this against him by pointing that out so he drops his super armor.. to look like Andross from Starfox.. which shows that EVEN when trying to come up with a cool final boss form... Beaks has to steal from something. The rest of the Gizmo Corps, my name for them I own that, Gizmo Legion would also be good, after Iron Man’s iron Legion, suit back up and kick beaks ass as a team. I smell second spinoff.. or first if darkwing ends up hyjacked by Seth Rogen.. who I have nothing agianst he’s just not the one who put in the work for a reboot. 

So our heroes win in an awesome sequence, seirously spinoff and Beaks is knocked the fuck out and presumibly will FINALLY go to jail for good to this as he can get away from a lot but directly breaking into an officer’s house and stalking her son, they can omit the gizmopart and even if Fenton went public.. no one would care and he and Mama can take care of htemselves, as can Huey, Gyro, Gandra and Manny, so it’s not like anyones in danger. Beaks is well and truly defeated: he has no idea, an imminet jail sentence, and no one to back him up. Fenton’s finally got the little boil off his back

So now the big fight is over, Gyro can actually process the Gizmoscape.. and is genuinely impressed.. he tries to hidei t because of course he does.. but it’s clear for someone who himself has constnatly been called crazy and had his ideas blow up.. this is paradise to him. a place where he won’t be judged and has unlimtied funds to experiment with his ideas without having to get yelled at when they destroy a city block or nearly choked to death by his own robot son, daughter or nonbinary person. He also easily fixes the problem and proves Fenton right for wanting to include him, as he points out they hadn’t been DELETING anything, simply downsizing it and it naturally caused stress on the server.  Fenton talks about Gandra and defneeds her to Mama.. whose just happy he’s happya nd someone can take her son. Alls well that ends well right. 

Final Thoughts:  So this was a... wait.. why are we cutting back to fowl.. why is bradford there. 

Yeah turns out megalmanoical diabolical msterminds kinda monitor their employees so he knew she intended to quit and stole resources, and while she plans to leave, he simply calls in a bunch of eggheads who overwhelm her with sheer numbers and has her fined two weeks pay.. and taken to the lost library to indefintely lock her up. What’s that she asks “You have your secrets, I have mine”

So yeah a bit of a downer ending

Actual Final Thoughts: 

This was an excellent capper to Fenton’s character arc. While the Gandra relationsihp is a bit rushed the rest is a masterful capper to his character arc: This episode shows off how he’s changed from EVERY one of his previous three focus episodes, while a major part of astro boyd and how he got his docterate it dosne’t quite contribute to his character arc,  and grown from them: From beware the buddy system! he’s learned to colaberate properly and taken his desire to WORK with other people, like he always did with Gyro but was constnatly shut out, and found a proper and brilliant way to that allows people like him, gyro, gandra and huey to really express themselvs. He’s grown from a niave rookie trusting the wrong people in who is gizmoduck.. to someone whose STILL fully trusting despite constant betryals, but now knows who to trust, and an experinced hero who once freed easily counters his nemisis.  And finally from Dangerous Chemistry, he’s finally got a ballance in his life: inastead of running from gizmo or treating his alter ego as something else.. he’s found a way to use the gizmotech for science, and FINALLY found his world changing invention one so good and so practical even his mentor, despite trying to walk it back, is genuinely proud of him and genuinely in awe.

Every step lead to his happy ending.. well okay his girlfriend still needs to be freed from her insane ex-boss, but that’s just a few episodes away. Fenton has everything he wanted when he started: his boss finally respects him and treats him as an equal, his mom not only knows who he is but is proud and supportive of him, he has a loving partner creatively and romantically.. and a best friend who while a good two decades younger, is there for him and who he genuinely apologizes too for putting so much on him. LIke all the endings so far this season.. it feels like a throughly satisfying end to the journey we’ve been following. This fits in nicely with Penny realizing earth could be her home and that she dosen’t have to constnatly fight to have a purpose, Lena finally accepting magic instead of running from it and thus gaining peace of mind and power to stop her former abuser from hurting anyone else, Goldie finally accepting how much she cars about Scrooge and his family and that she CAN change... all of this, except penny obviously has been built up through three seasons and while I DEFINTLY could see frank and matt returning to all of them.. i’ts nice to get some closure.  It feelsd earned and impressive. The episode is also.. REALLY fucking funny, from the weighted blanket gag to Beaks in general, to Huey yelling at fenton about Mama “She somehow broke Louie!”. It’s a masterful and throughly satisfying end to Fenton’s story. And again we’ll likely see him in the finale but character arc wise.. its a good place to end his. 

Next Week: FINALLY, AFTER 10,000 YEARS, IT’S THE TAILSPIN EPISODE. OWEEOOO, OWEEHHHH. 

Tommorow: We return to the noiry furry world of John Blacksad as everyone’s favorite panther detective battles white supremacists to find a missing girl and we’re introduced to your faviorite sidekick and mine Weekly. 

Later on this week: The Lena retrospective continues with Jaw$, we celebrate Tex Avery’s birthday, and I tackle the awful original tom and jerry movie. 

So if any of that tickles your fancy see you at the next rainbow

[bidoldaccount]

Erase All The Downsides - FOUR

Word count: 1,665

Tags: Anxiety; subspace; emotional hurt/comfort

Intro ; ONE ; TWO ; THREE

It ruins him.

Seeing her absolutely ruins him.

She lives behind his eyes. She takes up full residence in his dreams, unyielding on his brain. He finds himself driving by the shelter more times than he cares to admit, trying to catch a glimpse of her, if only for a second. It makes his skin itch when he doesn't. There's a pack of Peach gum sitting in his center console but he doesn't know which brand she gets, so they all smell slightly off. His brain hasn't been this mangled since those first few months.

When she told him that she couldn't handle being alone anymore, he didn't know what to do. He had been defensive where he should have been reassuring, he was cold where he should have been accepting, he was hurt where he should have been comforting. He was too stubborn to fight when she ended it. She was right. He knows that now. He left her messages unread for weeks before calling her when the need hit him. It wasn't fair, it was her holding their relationship together for those last few weeks.

When she was gone, the itch in his skin got so bad he was physically scratching at his arms. He couldn't leave the house without having a panic attack, he spent the entire next tour cooped up in his hotel room, trying to replicate the reassuring weight of her body with anything he could find. Most nights, Benny had to lay with him until he fell asleep otherwise he'd stay up all night scratching and crying. It was two weeks into his tour when he slept with someone else. He drank until he forgot why he was so sad, and when he woke up the world crashed down a little harder. He locked himself in the bathroom and sat in the shower for hours until the girl was gone and the hotel staff let Benny and Charlie into his room. After that, it felt impossible to call her.

Having her so far out of reach grates on his nerves for days. He refuses to touch Lisa and he snaps at everyone, it feels like backtracking.

He breaks when he shoves Sam. They were arguing over something or another, he can't even remember what. He was being combative because he could barely see in front of him with how blurry the anxiety was making his vision. Sam said something and Dean pushed him. He barely had time to register what he did before Benny was pulling him away.

"Dude, what the hell is going on?" Despite his language, his voice is soft and concerned. Dean shakes his head, his knees shaking. There was so much emotion crawling through his brain that he almost felt numb. Benny called his name over and over as he got into his car. He shouldn't be driving, he's too on edge, but it's all muscle memory at this point, and he can't stop once he has started.

It feels like a longshot, and if he is wrong he just might crack completely, but he pulls into the apartment complex with practiced ease. His feet carry him in a shuffle down the path, his fingers twitching on their own accord. He knocks on the door with rushed fervor, and nearly falls to his knees when it swings open and she's standing there, in front of him.

"Dean?" Castiel's voice is so soft and reassuring that it finally does send him to his knees. The contact with the ground hurts, but he barely feels it behind the relief that washes over him. This feels pathetic, utterly and truly pathetic, but he can't find it in himself to care because he feels lost and Cas is staring down at him.

"I'm sorry. I know it's been years and- and I don't even know if you're seeing someone, and I'm seeing someone, but I can't.... I can't... Please," he's crying and he can't stop.

"Come here, come inside," she lifts him from the ground and supports him as he stumbles forward.

"I'm having too much anxiety and I can't control it, I can't stop it!" He can't breathe.

"Alright, sweetheart, I hear you," she shushes him gently as she guides him over to the couch. "You sit and I'll be right back." He wants to whine and refuse, but most of all, he wants to be good. He sits down on her sofa, plush beneath him, and relaxed against it as best he can while she leaves the room. His stomach jumps like it wants to follow her, but he sits still. She is only gone for less than a minute before she is walking back into the room with a familiar looking weighted blanket. She set it on the couch, moved one of the pillows onto the floor, and gestured him down.

"On your knees, honey," Dean wants to roll his eyes back with a mix of pleasure and relief, but he settles for a tiny whimper as he slips down to the floor, settling his knees on the pillow. He looks up at her with wide eyes, waiting for her next instruction. She sits down in front of him, spreading her legs around him. The weighted blanket goes over his shoulders, draping down around him in a constant weight that works to ground him. Castiel sits back on the couch, her eyes trained on him.

"Lie down, honey," she pats her thigh and the strings are cut. He drops his head onto her thigh, his breath leaving him in one solid exhale. "You just sit there and breathe for me, okay? There is absolutely nothing else you need to do except sit here and be my good boy," her hands were in his hair, scratching gently at his scalp. A soft whine leaves him before he can stop it, he wiggles a bit to get comfortable, then his eyes close and it's easy to focus on her touch. The smell of citrus and firewood wraps around him almost as heavy and comforting as the blanket.

He doesn't remember falling asleep but when he opens his eyes, it's dark outside. Castiel is still sitting there, her hands still in his hair, her gaze focused on the tv. He shifts slowly, trying not to think about how numb his legs feel.

"You back with me?" She asks softly, all of her attention back on him. He blinks a few times, his head heavy. "Come up here, stretch your legs out," she scoots forward on the couch, moving the blanket off of him so it's easier to help him up. He wobbles a bit, unsteady, but her hands guide him down to the couch. She makes him bend his legs up and down, gently massaging them.

"Thank you," his voice is wrecked from sleep.

"Of course," she takes her hands off of him and he tries not to look too desperate when he reaches for her again. She takes his hand and allows him to link their fingers together as he slumps slightly, regaining his bearings.

"Cas," saying her name sends a warm thrill through his gut. "I'm really trying not to want you but It's getting really hard. I need you to tell me if you want me to leave or you don't want me too, because if you don't, I'll figure something out. I just can't keep pretending that I don't need you, that I don't miss you. I'll understand if it's been too long, or if you have someone else, I just have to try or I think I'll explode," he's rambling and he can't stop, the jitter is back in his bones.

"Dean, of course I want you. I've always wanted you, I just needed you to be as involved as I was. But, honey, it's you that has someone, not me," she said with a little, sympathetic, tilt of her head.

"I can't be with Lisa regardless of whether you take me back or not," he sighed, tilting his head down a bit. "she needs something that I can't give her and I need something she can't give me. It's too hard."

"I understand. I'll be here, Dean, whenever you're ready," she ran her thumb over the back of his hand and he fell boneless into the couch at her words.

"I'm so sorry, Cas, I shouldn't have neglected our relationship like I did. I was distracted and arrogant, and I stupidly thought that you'd always be there. You were always there for me and I was never there for you," he whispered, meeting her thumb with his own, gently pressing them together.

"That's not true, Dean," Cas said, sliding the smallest bit towards him on the couch. "You helped me through a lot of my depression, you were with me through all of my family drama, I wouldn't have made it out of that as unscathed without you there. It was just those last few months, when the paranoia of having a rockstar boyfriend doing God knows what, God knows where, with God knows who, started to creep up. I trusted you 100% but it's hard not to think about the possibilities," she said.

"I know, I want you to know that I never did anything with anyone while we were together. I wouldn't do that," Dean assured.

"I know," Cas nodded with a soft smile. "It was the perfect storm of distance, time, and arguments. I don't think either of us are to blame, but I still tear myself apart every once in a while for ending it so rash," she said.

"It's okay now," Dean whispered, looking down at their hands. "It'll be okay now." Cas leaned over their hands and pressed her forehead to his shoulder. She wouldn't do anything while Dean was still in a relationship, and he knew that. So, he settled for resting his temple on her head, closing his eyes as she breathed against his arm.

[freddiesaysalright]

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes - Chapter 3

Gwilym!Prince Charming x Reader

Summary: After losing your parents, your step-family makes your life impossible. That is, until Prince Gwilym holds a ball. It’s your one chance for everything to change. 

Word Count: 2.8k (sorry it’s short)

Tag List: @psychosupernatural​, @someone-get-a-medic​, @bensrhapsody​, @deakyclicks​, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @the-moving-finger-writes​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @rose-writes-prose​, @queenlover05​, @26-7-49​, @drowsebaby, @im-an-adult-ish​, @queen-paladin​, @rogerina-owns-me, @mirkwoodshewolf​, @namelesslosers​, @headl0ng​, @captvianswaan, @folietracksix​, @baltimoresweethearts​, @killer-queen-87​, @haileymoreolikestupid, @itsametaphorgwil​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this update! 

Warning(s): Mild descriptions of abuse

Moodboard

Prologue  Chapter 1  Chapter 2

Chapter 3 here we go!!!

Eleanor and Miranda were immediately all aflutter, speaking so much and so rapidly that if you hadn’t been standing beside them, you would not have believed it was only two people making so much noise. You couldn’t keep track of who was saying what. 

“A ball?!”

“What for?”

“Who’s going to be there?”

“Is it a special invitation?”

“Will the prince be there?”

“Oh, do say the prince will be there!”

Your own mind was spinning with similar questions. But there was one at the forefront.

“Silence!” Frank interrupted harshly. “The invitation says the whole town has been invited - upon the prince’s request - to attend the ball in honor of his birthday. The king added that he hopes any and all eligible maidens will attend, as the prince is ready to marry.”

“Marry!” gasped Eleanor. 

“You mean - he’s really looking for his wife?!” added Miranda. 

“This is the moment I’ve been waiting for,” he said. “This could be the chance for you, my daughters, to prove your worth. One of you must win his heart.”

You saw your step sisters deflate at their father’s words. Your heart was moved with pity. But, there was still something you had to ask.

“May I go to the ball?” you blurted out. 

Frank’s eyes widened when he looked at you, as if realizing only just now that you were present. Clearly, he had not meant for you to hear. 

“You?” Eleanor sneered. “A servant?”

The sympathy you felt a moment ago evaporated. 

“It says any and all eligible maidens,” you reminded them. “That applies to me. And it is the king’s wishes. The king’s wishes are as good as orders, don’t you think?”

You kept your tone even and cool, fearful Frank might mistake your suggestion for impudence. But you knew better than to outright question him again. 

“Father, you can’t -” Miranda began, but Frank held up a hand to stop her. 

He smiled at you in such a sinister way it sent a chill down your spine.

“Certainly, Y/N, you may attend the ball,” he said.

You blinked, honestly shocked that you had persuaded him. He kept his hand in the air when his daughters tried to protest again.

“If you get your chores done,” he said. 

You beamed. “Oh, I will!”

“And,” he said, making you hesitate. “If you can find something suitable to wear.” 

“I will, sir,” you assured him. “Thank you so much!”

You hurried away to finish your chores for the day. Frank watched you go, a scowl forming across his lips. 

“Father, you don’t really mean she can go to the ball, do you?” asked Eleanor. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Frank spat. “Of course she isn’t going.”

“Then why did you -”

“Don’t worry about her!” he cut across Miranda harshly. “Her attendance is conditional, and don’t forget, I set the conditions.”

He grinned to himself as his daughters exchanged worried looks. 

Before you went to bed that night, you went to your mother’s old room. Frank had left it untouched since her death. Her wardrobe was large and varied, so you knew you would be able to find something in there to wear to the ball. You scanned through the gowns, trying to decide on a color. A soft pink caught your eye, so you reached for it. You pulled it free from the rack and held it up, examining for any flaws. Technically speaking, there were none. It was just out of date.

“So much for that idea,” you sighed.

You started to hang it up again, but stopped. You could sew. You altered dresses for your step sisters all the time. Surely you could make some adjustments to this gown and look good enough for the ball. You looked over it once more, noting to yourself all that you could reasonably do within the next 24 hours. You bit your lip. You would need more time than that.

The clock in the hall chimed. You would have to get up in a few hours to do your daily chores. A rash idea came to you - stay up through the night and fix the dress, do your chores quickly, and get a short nap before going to the ball. You could miss dinner if necessary. Through a yawn, you nodded. 

Taking the dress to your room, you started in for the night. 

***

Gwilym awoke the morning of the ball feeling light and excited. He had interacted with a few people from the town before, but nothing to this degree. He wanted to truly get to know his people, and be a better leader to them. His father was right about things changing - Gwilym wanted to be more of a servant to his people than a sovereign. 

He went down to breakfast, joining his father and his friends. The younger men were reading letters from home, while the king was signing some documents. 

“Good morning,” Gwiylm greeted cheerfully as he took his seat. 

The butler placed a plate in front of him while a footman loaded it with food. 

“You’re awfully chipper,” the king said. “I hope that means you’re ready for your ball.”

“I am,” Gwilym assured him. “This is the most exciting birthday I’ve ever had.”

Suddenly, Rami choked on the bite of food he was eating. Gwilym reached over and clapped him on the back, while Rami cleared his throat and took a sip of tea. Through watery eyes, he offered an apologetic glance around the table. 

“Good news from your wife?” Ben wondered. “Or is it…”

Rami shook his head. “No, it’s good. She...she’s still pregnant.”

“Alright!” Ben cried excitedly. 

“That’s fantastic!” Gwilym agreed. 

Both of them knew that Rami and his wife had been struggling to keep a pregnancy. It concerned them both so much, they had a doctor examine them for any problems. The queen required a small surgical procedure, after which there were supposed to be no problems. Rami even hesitated coming to Gwilym’s party in case they got bad news again, but his wife insisted he go. Now, he sniffled as he looked at the letter.

“She made it past three months,” he explained. “The doctor said that’s a sign the baby should make it.”

“That’s wonderful, Ram,” Ben said. “Really, being a dad is the best, you’re gonna love it!”

“I hope it’s a strapping young boy,” the king interjected. “Should remind your people that you’re a king now.”

Rami chuckled. “They can keep calling me Prince Rami, I don’t mind. And as for the baby...boy or girl, as long as they’re happy and healthy I couldn’t care less.”

 Gwilym looked at the king, who seemed to be softening. Then the latter met his own son’s gaze.

“You see, Gwil?” the king asked. “The joys of marriage?”

“I do,” Gwilym replied. “But part of that joy is because Rami loves his wife so much.”

“You really aren’t going to let this love thing go, are you?” the king asked, defeated.

Gwilym shook his head. “Not a chance.” He looked at his friend. “Congratulations, Rami. That’s great news.”

“Thanks, Gwil,” he replied.

“Yes, all health and good fortune to your wife,” the king added. 

“Thank you,” Rami answered. 

They continued breakfast, and Ben told Rami all the great parts of fatherhood that he had to look forward to. And for the first time, Gwilym did feel a pang of jealousy at the happiness of his friends. He seemed resistant to his father, but all he wanted was a partner like Ben and Rami had found for themselves. He hoped beyond reason that whoever was meant for him would appear tonight. And then he could say to his father and everyone else - “At last, I’ve found her!”

***

By some miracle, you had finished your dress before breakfast. You stood up through a yawn and went to help Elsie get breakfast ready. You’d probably kick yourself later, but it was worth it. The dress was beautiful, and looked like the style you’d need for the ball. 

A pleasant surprise came when Frank told you he and the girls would be going to town today to shop for new gowns for them to wear. You nodded, and assured him everything would be done by the time they returned. Once they were gone, Elsie came over to you. 

“Y/N, my dear, go up to bed,” she said. “Robert and I can handle the chores.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, yawning again. “I can help, I really don’t mind.”

“We’re sure,” she said. “Go on and get some sleep. Tonight could be the most magical night of your life. Don’t spoil it by being tired.”

You agreed and shuffled back to the servant’s quarters. You crawled into your bed and shut your heavy eyelids, dreaming of the joys the ball would bring. You dreamt of music, dancing, your gown, and the face of Gwilym. Perhaps he would be there, and he could see you at your best. 

Your eyes snapped open. Gwilym was having a ball according to his friends. There were people coming from all over. Could it be that he was the prince, and was inviting the townspeople to his birthday? How had you not put it together before? Gwilym was the prince!

Your heart sank. If that was the case, you had to give up any hope of him. A prince could not be with a servant. Even if by birth you were a gentleman’s daughter, you no longer held that place. Frank had robbed you of it. Gwilym was out of your reach. 

You fell asleep despite your heart breaking at the thought of not being enough. You were just too tired. You slept just a couple hours before Elsie came to wake you. You would need some time to appear fresh when Frank got home. 

The girls demanded your help in getting ready, and you obliged. They ordered you around to pick up their sashes and necklaces and ear bobs and petticoats - just to find the perfect look for the evening. You even helped them put on some rouge and style their hair. They looked beautiful. But, you knew what they were like on the inside. You wondered if Gwilym would have the chance to meet them. And if he did, would he see their true nature?

The ball was set to begin at eight o’clock. Your step sisters were ready by seven, so they had time to have dinner before leaving. While they ate, you went up to get ready. Elsie helped you into your dress, but you did your own hair. You pinned it back, away from your face, the way your mother always liked it. You admired yourself in the mirror a moment. A jolt of nerves went through you. You still didn’t look like your step sisters. How would you compare to all the other fine ladies you were sure were attending tonight?

You shook your head. You couldn’t think about that. You couldn’t think about Gwilym. You were just going to go and have a good time. Take a well-earned break. And if you met someone there, then very well, but if not, you promised yourself you wouldn’t be too disappointed. 

***

Gwilym stood still while his valet finished with his clothes. There was still about an hour before the ball would start, and he would be meeting all the noble women his father invited. And yet, your face swam into view in his mind. He had barely stopped thinking about you since seeing you that day at the cemetery, and then again at the tavern. He still felt flush each time he recalled you wishing him good luck. Well, he certainly needed it tonight. Especially if you turned up.

***

At half past seven, the carriage was pulled to the front to take you all to the palace. You came down and couldn’t help but smile. Frank looked you over and scowled. 

“What is this?” he demanded. 

You faltered, coming to a stop about a yard away from him. Something in his face frightened you. 

“It was my mother’s,” you said, turning to show him. “I’ve updated it to match the current style, but -”

“Stop!” he cut across you. “There are very few things that are left of your mother’s, and you chose to take one - without permission - and ruin it?!”

“I haven’t ruined it, I just -”

“You stupid, selfish girl!” he shouted, crossing the front hall in just three strides. He was so close to your face, you had to take a step back. “You really think I’d let you go to the ball now? When you have defaced the property of my dearly departed wife?!”

“I didn’t know -”

“Silence!” he snapped. “I will not allow you to defend this behavior. Take off the gown at once.”

You stepped back again, but he followed. 

“I don’t have anything else,” you said meekly. 

He snarled, reached out his hand, and grabbed a handful of the bodice, right at the chest. He yanked down hard, pulling you so much that you stumbled. You heard a long riiiiip as the dress came apart at the seams. The front was completely torn away, revealing your corset underneath. You gasped and moved to cover yourself, but his next move came for your sleeve. He jerked it away from your arm and tossed it to the floor, along with the piece from the bodice. He repeated with the other sleeve. He took the sash next and wrenched it away. 

You felt hot tears of humiliation and shame run down your cheeks. You kept your arms in front of you and sank to the floor. 

“Stop it,” you croaked out. “Please.”

He raised his hand and you shrunk away, fearing he might truly strike you. 

“Father,” Miranda said. “We’re going to be late.”

Frank slowly lowered his hand to his side. He glowered at you. 

“Clean up this mess,” he ordered. “And never again presume to have a claim on things that belonged to my wife.”

Your lips trembled as he swept away. The girls followed him out. You kept your eyes fixed on the floor questioning what had just happened to you. It didn’t seem real. But the pieces of the dress sat on the floor just feet away from you, clear as crystal. When you heard the door close, you buried your face in your hands and let out a sob. 

***

Gwilym waited to be announced. The king went first, followed by Rami, since he was king of the neighboring country. Ben was announced next, since he was a visitor and prince. And then Gwilym. As he stepped out into the ballroom, he scanned the crowd, hoping to spot you. All he saw so far was glittering jewels and satin gowns. He sighed before making his way forward to begin introductions. 

He had asked Ben and Rami to be on the lookout for you as well. When the first half hour was over, he took a break and went to his friends. 

“Any sign of her?” he asked. 

Rami shook his head. “I haven’t seen her.”

“Me neither,” Ben said. “Sorry, mate.”

Gwilym sighed. “She must not be coming.”

“There’s still some carriages outside,” Ben said encouragingly. “She could be on any one of them.”

“Yeah, don’t give up just yet,” Rami said. “You’ve got all night.”

Gwilym nodded. He knew he mustn’t be over anxious, but couldn’t help feeling sore. Where were you? What could have kept you from this?

***

You escaped the house and fled to the garden. That was where your mother always took you for comfort. Your father loved to garden, and you always remembered him in this place. In truth, it was a place that was cherished by both your parents, and you needed to feel close to them now. You flopped down onto one of the benches and cried some more.

“It’s no use,” you sobbed. “God, it’s hopeless.”

You brought your knees to your chest, resting your forehead against them. Your tears splashed into the fabric of your ruined dress. 

“Now, my dear,” said a soft voice to your left.

You whipped your head up and faced the source. There in the garden stood a plump woman in a white cloak. Her silver hair hung around her face in delicate curls. She had a metallic glow around her as well that drew you in. In her right hand, she held a staff with a sapphire the size of a fist at the top.

Fear and amazement kept you frozen where you sat. She didn’t appear to be a threat, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t. And yet, you felt like you knew her somehow.

“Wh-who are you?” you wondered. “How did you get in here?”

“With magic, my dear,” she said, beaming. “As for my identity - I’m your fairy godmother.”

“My…” your brow furrowed. “My what?”

“Your fairy godmother,” she repeated kindly. “And I understand you are in desperate need of some help.”

[badsext]

A Comedy of Errors: Nathan Young x Female Reader

This was a combination of a request from my friend @elliethesuperfruitlover for a story where Klaus and reader are exchanging horny messages all day, then go crazy on each other when they finally see each other. That is combined with an anon request I received for a Nathan fic wherein the reader notices his boner and they have dirty filthy sex with loud moaning, biting, etc. I took some liberties and changed a few things to fit the narrative. I hope you like it 😚 Warning: Smut (of course)!

——————————————————

‘I had a dream about you last night.’ You knew a spicy little text like that would get a reply, even at 9:00 AM. And it was true, you’d had a filthy sex dream about Nathan Young and woke up horny as hell.

You pictured him zipping himself into that orange jumpsuit, then checking his phone and grinning like a jackass with his imagination running wild. He responded immediately, begging for details. But you loved teasing him. You were going to make him work for it, dropping hints and innuendos all day long.

As soon as the probation worker sent him home, Nathan headed for your place. But first a quick stop for something to spice up your evening for less than 20 quid. Double cream, a jar of maraschino cherries, a (stolen) bottle of vodka and ultra thin condoms that claimed to provide a tingling sensation. Nathan was very pleased with himself and optimistic about the evenings events. He became so distracted daydreaming about your naked curves that he ran smack into another pedestrian, sending the contents of his grocery bag toppling onto the sidewalk.

Nathan immediately let out a series of swears until he realized that this human obstacle was a wisp of a woman old enough to be someone’s gran. The impact had knocked her to the ground. He apologized and tried to help her back up, but his clumsy effort only made matters worse. The old broad was mortified. Help!,” she shrieked. “This man is molesting me!”

Nathan panicked, grabbing whatever was on the ground and stuffing it back into his bag so he could get the hell out of there.

After getting on the bus he noticed the cherry juice leaking all over everything in the bag and instead of condoms he had taken the old lady’s rash ointment. He sighed, abandoning the whole sticky mess and cutting his losses. He patted the bottle of vodka still safely tucked into his pocket. ‘Fuck it,’ he thought, sneaking a quick swig, then took a seat by the window.

By this time you knew he had already left the community center, so you sent him some extra motivation.

‘Hurry, I’m so wet!’ 💦

Nathan started to get hard and the fact that he was on public transport made no difference. His lust knew no such limits. ‘On the way’ 🍆

He looked out the window to see what street he was on and it suddenly dawned on him that he was headed in the wrong direction. He had gotten on the wrong bus! How could this get any worse, he thought, signaling the driver to get off at the next stop. He exited the bus like a shot and ran haphazardly across the street, his boner leading the way like a divining rod.

A car smashed into him going about forty miles an hour, enough to snap several of his important vertebra. Nathan heard the loud crunch of metal against bone before hitting the pavement and losing consciousness. Shocked onlookers started to gather and emergency services were called. Nathan expired in a pile of gore and debris just seconds before the ambulance arrived.

The paramedic examining him couldn’t find a pulse, so she administered CPR, but it was no use. He was pronounced dead on the scene. She had already called the coroner, placed a sheet over his body, and began filling out the paperwork when she noticed it. A conspicuous lump forming under the sheet. She dismissed it as nothing but a post mortem involuntary spasm until he sat up and threw off the sheet with a loud gasp. The paramedic stared back at him in shock. Nathan looked down at his erection, then back up to her and winked. “Thanks, love.” He got up and dusted himself off. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta get home to my girl, so I can fuck her brains out.” Priorities!

He arrived at your door panting and sweating. “Jesus, Nathan! You look like hell,” you teased, pulling him inside by his shirt. Your mouths converged, tongues fighting for dominance like a couple of territorial moray eels.

He tasted pleasantly of cherries and vodka. You pried your mouth away from his to playfully admonish him. “You’ve been drinking already I see...and why are you so sticky?,” you said, tracing your thumb over his lips and chin.

“I’m gonna make you sticky.” His breathy retort tickled your ear as his hand crept under your t-shirt to play with your nipple. You could feel yourself getting wet at his touch.

“Mmm.” You grabbed his stiff cock through his jeans.

He groaned, peeling your shirt off and eagerly cupping your breasts. “You wouldn’t believe what I went through to get here. A fucking quest!” Then he whipped his shirt off dramatically for emphasis, mussing his curls.

“Ooh. Did you slay a dragon?” You unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops with a snap, dominatrix style.

“No, but I died.”

You learned of Nathan’s immortality soon after meeting him. Following the initial shock you discovered it was a huge turn on. “Oh, fuck,” you gasped, gliding your hands down his chest. Nathan cracked a sly smile as you drew closer, kissing and nibbling his neck. You pressed your cheek to his to body to listen to his beating heart. “Was it painful?,” you asked, gazing up into his eyes, deep green pools of chaos.

“Excruciating.”

You looked back at him as if to say ‘no more fucking around.’ You led him back to your room and made him sit on the edge of the bed. You knelt down between his legs. “It looks like you need some T...” You unfastened the button on his jeans...”L” You unzipped them...”C”....You pulled them off along with his boxers. You began stroking his stiff cock gently with your fingertips. Nathan struggled to keep his cool. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch you work. His ragged breath betrayed him as you began to nuzzle him, dragging your lips and nose over his smooth, sensitive flesh. You licked his length and lapped playfully at the little drop of pre-cum at the tip. He whimpered. His eyes shut tight and his hands grasped the sheets.

Nathan let out a helpless moan as you took him into your mouth, bobbing slowly up and down, savoring him. You became lost in the act until you noticed Nathan’s breath change. “If you do that any more I’m gonna come,” he said with desperation in his voice.

You released his cock and raked your fingernails down the length of his thighs before standing up and sliding your panties to the floor. Nathan’s green eyes studied you, hazy with lust. He latched his mouth to your nipples, suckling each one them ravenously as his hand crept between your legs.

“Oh, no,” he said suddenly, his voice muffled between your breasts.

“Oh, no what? What’s wrong?”

“That old lady has our condoms.”

“Nathan, what the fuck are you talking about? I have an IUD....birth control. I got it a month ago.”

“So I get to fuck you raw?....unenCUMbered?” He smiled, and wagged his eyebrows.

You nodded with a giggle at his enthusiasm...”Wait, Nathan, was that a pun? You know that’s grounds for PUNishment.” He bit his lip, trying to hide his excitement.

You climbed on top of him, kissing him roughly, forcing his head into the pillow. Then silk ropes were used to secure his wrists to the bedposts crucifixion style. Nathan flicked his tongue at you defiantly as you straddled his face. “I’m going to teach you a lesson,” you said, lowering your most sensitive flesh onto his open mouth. You gasped at the exquisite feeling of his warm tongue on your clit. You ground your hips against him over and over, the rush of adrenaline filling your head. Using him the way he liked to be used. In this moment he existed only for your pleasure, your insatiable need. Your breath grew heavier, building to a sort of primal growl. Then the sudden pulse of your muscles, echoing the pleasure radiating from your core to every inch of your body.

After coming back to your senses, you realized you were squeezing the poor boy to death with your thighs. When you looked down Nathan was still. His neutral expression started making you nervous. “Nathan? Nathan?! “ You shook him. “Nathan?”

He opened his eyes. “What, love, I was just quietly basking in the afterglow,” he said, innocently fluttering his long eyelashes.

You hit him with the nearest pillow. “Jesus, Nathan I though you were...you know! I thought I might have...”

Nathan laughed. “You thought you smothered me to death with your fanny?”

You were embarrassed, but you had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “You are such a little shit,” you said with your hands covering your face.

“Yeah, but you love me anyway. Now, let me fuck that juicy little fanny before I go mad!” Nathan rolled on top you and searched your eyes for reassurance. Then he lined himself up with your entrance and moaned as he delved into your silky softness for the first time without protection.

You grabbed him by the ass and shoved him in as far as he would go. He started achingly slow, so you bit his chin and raked your fingernails over his shoulder blades. Nathan was always encouraged by a little bit of pain. He drove into you over and over, with vigor and purpose. You felt yourself unraveling once more. Your voice rang out at the peak of orgasm, then mumbled unintelligibly into his neck as you savored the rush of dopamine that flooded your brain. You watched his face contort as he came inside you. Nathan’s body suddenly tensed, then twitched. He made a new sound, vulnerable and uninhibited. He sighed contentedly and it looked like he wanted to say something. Of course you knew exactly what he wanted to say. You almost said it yourself. If he can’t bring himself to say it, here comes a joke, you thought, but Nathan just smiled shyly and laid down beside you. Then his hand crept nervously under the covers to hold yours.

@elliethesuperfruitlover @bubblyani @vinawyatt @chipster-21 @chokemerobert @helena-way07 @moorehollandplz @punknatch @renegadesheehan @dandycandy75 @meowbearspandas29 @taintedrosebud @bi-satanist @gunnerxsenpai @allthingsextrordinary @royhey @bitshy-life @honeymelon22 @gurlimtired @nobodydoodle @anonymouscherry @clownass-hoe @shuckinsquib @that-boi-misfits @klaushollandyoung

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

summertime sadness .5.

work day

Sequel to kiss me in the d-a-r-k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (masterlist under construction)

Warnings: dub con sex (fingering)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and dark(professor!)Bucky explicit. 18+ only. I know they aren’t super dark, but like questionable so I’m keeping those tags just to be safe.

Summary: Loki adds to your workload.

Note: Right, here we go, here we go, here go again. Girls, what's my weakness? Men! Sorry, minor detour there but are we ready for the darkness? Y'all hold onto your panties. Thanks everyone for their support and I love you all! 💋

<3 Let me know what you think in a reblog, reply, or like. I’m loving the feedback from y'all and the enthusiasm! Also as always, memes accepted.

💋💋💋

You didn’t sleep much. Every time you closed your eyes, the scene flashed behind your eyelids. Loki standing over you, the image on his phone, his hand on your chin. And then you thought of Bucky. It was hard not to; your phone buzzed all night as you ignored his messages. Steve’s too. It had finally caught up to you and it felt worse than you could imagine. A man you admired thought you nothing more than a floozy. Well, maybe you were.

Saturday shone through your window and you rolled over. You were exhausted; mentally, emotionally. Your hours were spent reprimanding yourself. Going over all your mistakes; every single choice that had led to such disaster. You sat up and rubbed your eyes. You moved slowly, your body cramped from the tension.

The grind of your coffee machine filled the apartment as you sat at your desk. A mark of your guilt. A gift from one illicit lover; another having defiled you a top it. A year ago, to think of all that had transpired, you would’ve been appalled. You were. You’d sold your integrity for fleeting pleasures. You felt cheated. By yourself more than any.

You filled a mug and grabbed your phone from beside your bed. You hadn’t looked at it since you laid down the night before. Missed calls, unanswered texts, unread emails. You answered Bucky first, a simple ‘I wasn’t feeling well. Sorry.’ Besides, he had plans with Tanya, or was busy dodging her.

You texted the same to Steve and his response was swift. Your phone vibrated as his ID flashed across the screen and you answered the call after several rings. You were weak, breathless.

“Hey,” You said quietly and sipped your coffee.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked.

“Fine,” You lied poorly. “Work’s kept me busy and… I guess it’s gotten ahead of me.”

“Oh,” He uttered. “Any plans today?”

“Rest,” You shrugged and sat back in your chair. “After I sort through all my work emails and catch up.”

“Bucky?” He asked.

“I… I’m tired.” You grumbled. “I… need a break.”

“I’m sure work would understand if you took a day to yourself.” Steve said.

“No, no, I can’t do that,” You said suddenly. “I wasn’t talking about work.”

“What do you--”

“You shouldn’t be calling me. You should call Kylie. See how she’s doing.” You interrupted. “And Bucky should worry about his students. About marking and whatever. And I need to think about myself and my job.” You stood and paced around the small space of your apartment. “I’m sorry but… you said it yourself. It’s okay to be selfish, so I’m going to be selfish and think about my future because fucking old men isn’t going to get me anywhere.”

You hung up before he could respond. And then your heart sank. Why had you said that? It all had spilled from you so quickly. You cringed and your phone began to buzz again. It was Steve. You let out a shaky breath and dismissed the call. You set your phone to do not disturb’ and tossed it on your bed. Maybe your words were rash but it didn’t make them any less true.

💋

Monday. You walked into Adder Press with a pit in your stomach. You were jittery from more than your morning coffee. You gripped the strap of your bag tightly as you passed Stacey. Everything around you seemed distant, obscured by the haze that fell over you. You sat at your desk, numb, and began to set out your stuff as you always did. In a desperate attempt to make it all feel normal again.

As you waited for your computer to boot, you felt a subtly weight on the back of your chair. You looked up at Loki as he gripped the chair and smirked down at you. You blanched and your pen slipped from your hand. He bent to grab it before you could and as he rose, he dragged the lid against your leg. He held it out and you snatched it from him.

“Morning meeting in five,” He said as he stood before you. “Then I wanted to go over layout with you. A useful lesson if you ever hope to be anything more than a freelancer. You have to have a good eye… for detail.”

You gulped and nodded. “Yes, okay, yeah.” You set the pen down on your desk. “Five minutes.”

He winked and left you there to stew in your shame. You glanced around but no one else seemed to notice your tense interaction. They were all too concerned with their own schedules, their own presence at the meeting. Really, who cared much about the summer intern?

You were antsy as you walked into the conference room. You hid between Vanessa, a political pundit, and Jory, who covered local business stories. Loki sat near the head of the table as the marketing head went over the final prints of the Pride issue. You folded your hands before you but couldn’t concentrate. 

Your eyes wandered from the powerpoint and you found the editor-in-chief peering over at you. Another sinister grin sent a chill through you. You looked back to the screen and prayed for the day to go quickly. Your heart felt as if it would explode.

When you broke out, you dragged your feet and were the last out of the room. You lingered at your desk as you grabbed your notebook and pen. Loki’s office beckoned to you ominously. He stood in the doorway watching you; waiting for you. You neared him as his lips curled.

He shut the door and you jumped at the click. He brushed past you before he rounded his desk. He pulled a chair with him and placed it beside his. He waved you over. You took a breath and crossed to him. As you sat, he pinched your ass and you pressed your lips together to keep from yelping.

His hand settled on your thigh as his other moved his mouse. He opened a page from last month’s issue and kept his eyes on the screen as he kneaded your leg. “We’ll go over composition. How to draw the reader’s eye and using layout to enhance your words.”

You nodded stiffly and shakily opened your notebook. He kept his hand on your thigh as you place the book on his desk and uncapped your pen. He circled the title with his cursor, entirely unfazed by your discomfort. His fingers slipped closer to your pelvis.

“Titles are easy but you’ll want to position them according to article type as well. Is it an editorial? Review? Reflective?” He continued. “Now, most editors would leave this to marketing and such but… I try to be hands on with every aspect of my business. My seal is on every page, ever word, that goes out.”

You scribbled down a jumble of words as his hand slid between your thighs and he squeezed. You flinched and he let out a soft chuckle under his breath. You kept your wide eyes on the monitor and he carried on his lesson. His hand never quite reaching its target. He was teasing you. Asserting the new power he held over you.

When he finished his spiel, he drew away and turned his chair to face you. His legs were far apart and you tried not to look at the obvious bulge in his pants. You kept your head down as you slipped your notebook down onto your lap. 

“I’ve got an important lunch date tomorrow,” He said. “I should like you to accompany me, darling.”

You peeked up at him. “Okay.”

“Sceptre Press is looking to expand its mediums. The director of Celestial has agreed to discuss a partnership.” He said coolly.

“Oh?” You breathed. “They… do podcasts?”

“Mostly,” He confirmed. “But, my dear, do wear something nice. A skirt.”

You crossed your legs. Your straight-cut pants felt thin enough. “Alright.”

“No panties.” He licked his lips. “Our little secret… well, another one, yeah?”

“Okay.” You said. You bit down and your pen rolled out of your grasp once more. 

His eyes followed the pen and flicked back to you. “Well, go on,” He mused. “Very… clumsy today.”

You bent to retrieve your pen and he caught the back of your head. He held you there and rolled his chair closer so that his lap was only inches from your face. He snickered as you tried to pull away but quickly gave up. His other hand stretched over his crotch and he grasped his erection through the thin fabric of his trousers.

“I could make you do it right now,” He slithered. “Hmm?”

“Yes,” You uttered. 

“I’m tempted,” He rubbed himself and shifted his hand as he pushed you closer. “Kiss it.” You closed your eyes and kissed his bulge. He shivered and let you go. You sat up, dizzy, and he grinned at you. “Not yet.” He preened. “But I do have to take care of this…” He ran his hand across his lap again. “So if you would excuse me. I am certain you have work to catch up on.”

You stood and back away slowly. “Yes, sir.” You turned as you rounded the desk.

“Sir? I like that,” He called from behind you as you neared the door. “Oh, darling, one more thing.”

You spun back to him and shielded your chest with your notebook. “Yes?”

“I’ll need some inspiration so before you sit down, go to the lav and take a nice photo for me.” He made a show of unzipping his pants behind his desk. “I bet you’re wearing a sweet little white bra, aren’t you? Maybe a precious pink number?”

Your throat tightened as you stared back at him. “Okay.” You forced out. “Is that all?”

“For now,” He shooed you away with a wave of his fingers. “As you will.”

💋

You had few skirts to choose from. You settled on a lavender one that ended just above your knees. With it, you wore a blouse with a Peter Pan collar and a grey blazer with three-quarter length sleeves. It wasn’t as enticing as any other outfit you owned; which was not at all. Perhaps that would work in your favour.

When you arrived at the bistro, Loki waved you ahead of him as you followed the hostess to your booth. You slid across the bench first and he was close behind. He took out his phone and checked it before he set it face down on the table. He asked for water and nothing else.

Your leg shook under the table nervously. He grabbed your thigh to still you. The waitress returned and he thanked her, his hand still on your leg. When she departed, his fingers slowly gathered your skirt. You reached to pull it back and he tssked.

“Our associate has informed me she’s running late.” He grinned. “About twenty minutes or so.” You squirmed as his hand slipped beneath your hem. “I think we can fill our time accordingly.”

“L--Mr. Laufeyson,” You gasped. “Someone might see.”

“They’d have to be watching us very closely,” He leaned against you as his fingers crawled along the top of your thigh. “Now,” He shoved his hand between your legs roughly. “Let’s have some fun, darling.”

You parted your legs reluctantly and he tickled along your cunt. You grabbed the edge of the table and your eyes searched frantically. The other diners were occupied with their own meals, their own company. You felt as invisible as you had back at the office. He rubbed you slowly. He lifted his glass with his other hand as he continued.

“After our meeting, I think we’ll head back to the office and call a conference. We’ll need ideas for prospective podcasts,” He swirled his fingertips and you let out a long breath between your teeth. “Of course, if this all goes to plan.”

You whimpered as you felt yourself getting wet. His fingers glided easily along your folds as he spread your arousal. You planted your elbow on the table and held your chin as you bit your lip. Mortified, you tried to hide your face.

“Uh uh,” He grabbed your wrist and shoved it down as his fingers dipped inside you. “Look at me.”

You leaned back against the booth as you looked over at him. He smirked as he moved his fingers steadily in and out of you. He pressed his palm to your clit and the sensation made your legs shake again.

“Is this what you like? Sneaking around?” He taunted. “Is this what he does, hmm? Or maybe he bends you over his desk?”

“Mr. Lauf--” You swallowed down a moan and clapped your hand over your mouth.

“I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it,” He sped up and your thighs squeezed his hand. “Are you going to cum? Here in front of everyone? In the middle of this restaurant?”

Your eyes rounded and you grabbed his shoulder pleadingly. You couldn’t speak, afraid you would cry out instead.

“You like being a naughty little girl, don’t you?” He curled his fingers and you heard a subtle squelch as your walls twitched around him. 

You bared your teeth and latched onto his arm. You rocked your hips without thinking as you came. You let out a shuddery breath and he slid his fingers out of your cunt, sure to drag them along your folds. He untangled his arm from your grasp and you fell back against the seat and pushed down your skirt.

He raised his hand and ran his wet fingers over your lips. He pressed against your mouth until you opened it. He stared into your eyes as he made you suck your own cum off his knuckles. He withdrew them and used a napkin to wipe away your saliva.

“It is a pity, however, that this lunch should set you behind, darling,” He crossed his legs and drank from his water again. “You will have to stay late tonight… to catch up.”

“Yes, sir,” You ceded.

He smirked and looked around. A moment of silence before he perked up and stood. He buttoned his jacket so it hid his bulge and greeted the tall woman who approached you. He shook her hand with the same one he’d just had between your legs. You stood in kind. Your legs felt weak.

“Valerie,” He purred. “Thank you for fitting us in today.”

“Us?” She looked between you. “And sorry about the delay. Traffic was… traffic.”

“My intern,” He introduced you by name, “She’s shadowing me for the day. To get an idea of the business and all its little quirks.”

You shook her hand and you sat down as she did the same. The server was quick to appear and offer you menus. You eagerly took yours, hoping to hide behind it for the rest of the meal. Especially as that familiar and irresistible tingle nestled in your core.

[pkg4mumtown]

Welcome to Hawkins PD (Ch. 5)

Chapter Title: We’re Your Family Now

Chapter 5 of 9?

Read Chapter 4 Here

AN: *drags self to computer to post this* I’ve literally worked on this one word a day since the last chapter. At least it feels like that. I either catch up on work and neglect art/writing or neglect work and have to work weekends. RIP. More soft shit, they’re still being chickens lol.

Warnings: awkward!Hopper? Cold weather? idk

Summary: You get to the station early one morning and are met with a pleasant surprise.

Taglist: It’s still just you, girl @kingphillipblake lmao

Over the weekend, I busied myself by making the trailer more homely and tried not to think about my boss or whatever had happened in the bathroom. I almost dreaded seeing his grumpy face at work on Monday, but then again, his face seemed to always be like that.

As was usual all week, I got to the station early for my run except I was far less cold than my first day. I let my mind wander as I watched the puffs of warm air leave my lips, letting myself fall into a trance to ignore the pain in the lower half of my body. I cut the run short as the cold air started to burn my lungs and spotted the Chief’s Blazer as I approached the station. I slowed my steps down as his truck door opened and he stepped out in Hawkins PD sweatpants and a jacket, not unlike myself.

A small smirk graced his lips as I approached, soon hidden by his mustache and coffee cup. He furrowed his brows as I headed for the front door, calling out my name to stop me.

“Hey, wait,” he called out, “am I late?”

I turned, laughing slightly and miming looking at my wristwatch but not really reading the numbers, “I start at seven-thirty sharp, Chief.”

Hopper made a face, checking his own watch and seeing that he was fifteen minutes late, “Jeez,” he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“You know,” I trailed off, pursing my lips and thinking over something, “I think I can spare another fifteen.”

The corner of Hopper’s lip turned up as he opened his truck and placed his mug on the seat before slamming the door shut. He took a few steps toward me, so I bounced away on the balls of my feet, tilting my head toward the sidewalk.

“Try and keep up,” I teased.

Despite my teasing, I kept the same pace as him since I technically did invite him. He breathed heavily through out the jog and I didn’t blame him one bit. I heard him trying to control his breathing as I talked to him and I immediately felt bad, but he did have the ability to decline the run.

“What did you do this weekend?” he huffed, trying to take slower breaths so he wasn’t breathing so heavily as he talked.

“Uh, just cleaned a lot,” I shook my head, “that trailer was a mess. I’m sorry.” I laughed at his exasperated expression, which soon turned into large puffs of laughter. He started coughing, his throat probably numb from the air which was mixed with his smoking habits that have caused his lungs more years of abuse than mine.

“You don’t have to stay at this pace with me,” he took a shaky breath in and released a painful, growling wheeze.

“I invited you, Hop, it would be rude if I left you,” I nudged his arm with mine playfully.

The Chief slowed down to a walk; the heaving of his shoulders more evident when his entire body wasn’t in motion. He hunched, bracing his hands on his knees with the station just in range for a burst of running. The front and back of his sweatshirt was soaked through with sweat, turning it a darker gray and making it cling to his torso.

“I’ll tell you what, Chief,” I sniffled, cringing as the cold air was having more of an effect on me than I’d like. “Winner to the station buys coffee and donuts today,” I turned to him with a huge grin on my face and my hands on my hips in a challenge.

He turned his head toward me, his mouth parted and breaths huffing gently as he finally got his breathing under control. He pushed off his hands and stood up to his full height with a soft grunt, “Alright, you got a deal.”

He stuck his hand out, which I took and shook firmly. He tilted his head to either side, his neck cracking eerily loud.

“3…” I counted down, dropping into a loose running stance, and watching him do the same, though slightly more tense.  “…2.”

Before I could get to “one”, Hopper took off in a sprint. His long legs aided him in creating a large amount of distance between us quickly. I stared as this huge man lumbered down the street as fast as he could go, my jaw dropping in surprise before by brain caught up. I finally broke myself out of my surprise and took off after him, able to catch up because of the academy training. I passed him just as we entered the parking lot, pushing as hard as I could to grab the door first since my arms were shorter than his. I stuck my hand out, ready to grab the door handle when I felt a strong hand grip my wrist and yank me backwards.

“Hey!” I shouted as I stumbled backwards hard enough that Hopper could get in front of me and turn around until his back slammed against the front door of the station. I tried to catch myself before I crashed into him but couldn’t stop my legs fast enough. I caught myself with my hands against his chest, cringing as the glass doors wobbled ominously.

Hopper sucked his lips into his mouth, trying to hold back a smile but failing and laughing out loud. I felt his chest vibrate against my hands and I had to stop myself from staring at the look of amusement all over his face.

“What!?” he chuckled at the incredulous look on my face.

“You cheated!” I slapped his chest softly and pushed myself away from him, forcing Hopper against the door briefly.

“I’m the Chief,” he smirked matter-of-factly. “I’ll, uh, expect my coffee and donuts when I’m dressed.”

Hopper winked and opened the door of the station, sliding inside and leaving me outside by myself.

 Around lunch time, I yawned widely and kicked my feet up on my desk to rest my eyes for a bit. It had been another slow day with nothing better to do unless we felt like looking for lost gnomes for the eightieth time this month. I blindly reached for the newspaper from this morning and laid it over my eyes to block some of the sunlight.

As soon as my eyes closed, I felt something hit my arm. I knitted my brows together but ignored it until I heard something land on my desk. I sat up, letting the newspaper fall from my face with an annoyed glare gracing my features. Before I could lay my eyes on anyone, a wad of paper hit me square in the face. I clenched my jaw, seeing Hopper leaning against the wall of the hallway that led to his office.

He silently tilted his head toward the hallway and disappeared. I rolled my eyes, jumping up and following him while straightening out my uniform. I found him sitting on the corner of his desk, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for me. I closed the door behind me and stood awkwardly as I waited for him to speak.

“What are you doing for Christmas?” he asked after an awkward pause, not even looking at me as he asked the question.

“Um…” I trailed off and shrugged, not even knowing myself despite it being in a couple days.

“I assume you’re not going home. Not with how you described things…” he chewed his top lip, scraping his teeth over his moustache briefly.

“Definitely not,” I grimaced.

“Well, uh, no one really comes to the Christmas parties here anymore, plus I have my daughter. I—would you—if you want, you could celebrate with us. My kid, her friends, their parents are all going to my friends’s house. Uh, Joyce, you’ve seen her around I think,” he stumbled repeatedly.

“I don’t know…”

“I just don’t want you to be alone,” his voice evened out and softened, his eyes finally meeting mine. “We’re your family now.”

His soft voice had a strange effect on me, as I stood there in silence. His words meant more because he sounded so sincere compared to his usually loud personality. I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes and made a rash decision to step forward and throw my arms around his shoulders in a tight but brief hug. Hopper was too shocked to do anything but stand there, even as I released him and stepped away from him.

“I’ll be there,” I gave him a small smile. “Just give me the address and, yea, I’ll be there.”

I opened the door and made myself scarce, seeing his contemplative face as I shut the door and plopped myself back at my desk.

[adenei]

“Go. You go and don’t even think about coming back here.” for Romione 😊

@my-patronus-is-a-champagne-glass Thanks for the prompt! I really loved writing this one!!

************************************************************* Hermione stood up from her desk and gathered her things. “Elizabeth, I’m taking the afternoon. I have an appointment outside the Ministry. I’ll see you on Monday,” she said to her colleague and friend.

“Ooh, more wedding stuff?” Elizabeth whispered.

Hermione smiled. “Something like that.” The wedding was only a month away now, so her assumption was justified.

“Brilliant! Have a great weekend, Hermione!”

“See you,” Hermione responded as she made her way to the lifts. 

Hermione was headed to see a mediwitch at St. Mungo’s. Everything had been seemingly fine with her since Malfoy Manor, save for a few spasms now and then if she exerted too much energy on any given task. She’d recently talked to Fleur who had made the suggestion. Hermione had tried to reassure Fleur that she was fine, and she was the one to thank for that, but Fleur wasn’t convinced.

‘Zer could be hidden damage zat I did not catch. It would be best to have a mediwitch check for ze things I could not.’

So Hermione was on her way to get the work up done, and to be reassured of a clean bill of health.

****************************************************************

Ms. Belmont, the mediwitch, had just finished performing a number of spells, which was the last part of the work up. Hermione had already been administered potions, and answered a series of extensive questions about what she remembered of the events of Malfoy Manor before this point. She genuinely liked the woman who was helping her. 

“Well, Ms. Granger, I have good news and bad news after reviewing the scans.” Ms. Belmont said.

“Oh?” Hermione asked.

Ms. Belmont nodded. “Despite the extensive time and force you were under during the Cruciatus, your body has not undergone any significant damage. You were incredibly strong in fighting it. However, the spells did detect layers of scar tissue around your lower abdomen, around the outside of your uterus. It will likely affect your ability to conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy in the future.”

Hermione stared at the mediwitch. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was expecting to hear, but it wasn’t that. She’d never even thought there could be any repercussions in that area of her life. 

“It’s not to say that you can’t get pregnant, but it will be more difficult. Luckily, the uterus itself is not damaged, but the scar tissue around the outside could cause problems as it needs to expand as a baby grows.”

“I see,” was all Hermione could say.

“I will be more than willing to work with you if you and your partner come to a point where you are ready to start a family, of course. Do you have any other questions for me?” Ms. Belmont asked.

“Er, no, not right now. Thank you,” Hermione said.

“Of course. Please don’t hesitate to owl if you need anything.” Hermione nodded at the mediwitch’s words and gathered her things. 

She exited St. Mungo’s, and began walking down the street. Ms. Belmont’s words were echoing in her brain as she walked aimlessly. Hermione was having trouble thinking straight. She turned down an abandoned alley and apparated away. She found herself not in front of her own flat, but in front of Shell Cottage. Her body seemed to be working of her own accord as she felt her hand knock on the door.

Fleur opened the door after a few moments. “Hermione! Please, come in. Victoire just settled in for a nap.” As she shut the door and turned to look at Hermione, she noticed the look on her face. “What’s wrong?” 

Hermione sat on the couch in the sitting room. “It’s...I’ve just been to see a mediwitch. She was very nice, did a full work up and everything. I’m truly always amazed at how Magical medicine works…” she trailed off. 

Fleur was busy heating the kettle for tea, and gathered mugs from the cupboard. When Hermione didn’t continue, she turned to her and asked, “Eez everything okay?”

“Y-yes, for the most part. The only thing she found was some scar tissue.” 

Fleur poured the hot water in the mugs and brought them over, sitting across from Hermione. “Where eez the scar tissue?”

Hermione’s throat tightened as she looked down and clutched her lower abdomen. 

“Oh, Hermione I am so sorry.” Fleur said. This was what she was afraid of. 

“It’s- I’ll be fine. I just- I needed to tell someone. I don’t know how I’m going to tell Ron. How is he going to want to marry me still if I can’t-”

“Hermione, do not speak like that,” Fleur stopped her, but before she could continue, Victoire began crying in her room upstairs. “Please, take all ze time you need here, but do not make any rash decisions.”

Hermione sat quietly sipping her tea as Fleur tended to Victoire. She kept trying to come up with ways to tell Ron. He didn’t even know she’d been to the appointment at all. She remembered back to the times they’d talked about the prospect of kids and starting a family someday. His face always lit up at the prospect, and he was such a wonderful uncle to Victoire. Hermione felt the tears start to stream down her face. She couldn’t take that away from him.

Fleur came down a while later with Victoire in tow. “Listen, Hermione, you are more than welcome to stay, but I promised Molly zat we would be by for dinner, and Bill eez meeting us there.”

“Oh! Of course, it’s fine. I need to get going anyway. I should probably get home before Ron wonders.”

“I’m so sorry. You know I am always here if you need to talk, of course. We’ll see you on Sunday?”

“Yes, yes of course. Thank you for the tea.” Hermione then told Fleur she’d rather apparate than floo, and saw herself out as she heard Fleur lock the front door and floo to the Burrow. 

The sun was warm and the fresh air felt nice against her skin. Hermione decided to walk on the beach before settling on an abandoned log, watching the water. She thought she’d put the war past her. The nightmares had stopped ages ago, everyone had healed, and then she had to go and tear open all those old wounds. Tears began to fall again. How could she have been so stupid to believe she’d walked away from the Cruciatus Curse unscathed, by Bellatrix Lestrange no less. 

Hermione had lost track of time, having forgotten to wear her watch that day, as her thoughts began to spin out of control. She wasn’t sure how long she was sitting there, and was only brought back to reality when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. No, no, no, I’m not ready. I can’t confront him yet, she thought.

“Hermione? Hermione!” Ron called as he moved quickly towards her. “Why didn’t you come home? I stopped by your office to pull you away from your desk for the day, but Elizabeth said you’d left for the afternoon, but then you weren’t at the flat either. I checked your parent’s house and the Burrow, and that’s when Fleur said you’d been here, but she thought you’d gone home.” He paused to look at her, noticing how she stared straight ahead, instead of looking at him. “What’s wrong?” Ron made to move to her side, but stopped abruptly when she backed away and held her hands up as if to stop him. 

“I’m sorry. I just, Ron, I really need to be alone right now. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“What? Hermione, where were you this afternoon? What happened?” Ron was confused by her reaction. 

Hermione shook her head. “I can't right now. I just need a little space! Please, just-. Go. You go and- and don’t even think about coming back here. Please. Not right now. I’ll be home later.”

“But Hermione-”

“Ron, please!” Her voice broke ever so slightly. It was all she could do to hold it together. She couldn’t do this right now. She needed more time to process this on her own. 

“No,” he said. They hadn’t had a row like this in years. Ron had no idea what had happened, but the look he’d seen on Fleur’s face earlier indicated she knew more than she was letting on.

“Ron, why can’t you just give me the space I’m asking for?” she pleaded with him.

“Because we’re not in school anymore, Hermione! I’m not just going to walk away and let you sort it out and ignore me. We’re getting married in a month! I thought we were past this!” He let the frustration take over his words.

“You may not be saying that anymore after you do find out what this is all about,” Hermione realized a moment too late that the words had escaped her as she clasped her mouth with her hands, hoping the ocean breeze prevented her quiet words from being heard.

“What are you on about?” Ron sat down next to her in disbelief of what he’d just heard. The anger had dissipated and now all he could feel was fear. The fear that he could be losing her. He softened his tone. “Hermione, please. Talk to me.”

Hermione closed her eyes as a few more tears escaped. “I went to see a mediwitch today.” She waited a moment, gathering her thoughts before continuing. “To- to make sure there were no...lingering effects from the Cruciatus Curse.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“Because I was sure it would all check out to be fine, and I didn’t want to worry you.” Hermione sighed.

“But it’s not fine. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“No,” she said plainly.

“Please tell me.”

Hermione took a deep breath in and exhaled deeply. “There’s a good chance I may not be able to carry a child. It’s not- It’s not definitive, but she said I could have a harder time because of the layers of scar tissue that’s built up around my uterus.” Hermione subconsciously moved her hand over her stomach.

Ron felt like he’d been sucker punched. Not because of Hermione’s confession, but because she thought he might not want to go through with the marriage because she might not be able to have children. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

“Hermione, love, I wish you would have told me. That I could have been there with you.” He tried to reassure her.

“I’ll understand if you want to call things off, since I can’t give you a family.” It was as if she hadn’t heard him, or felt his arms around her.

“I’m not going anywhere, so bloody get that thought out of your head right now. You’re my whole world, Hermione. Kids or no kids, that doesn’t matter to me. You matter to me. We’ll figure this out together. I love you.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

She felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her as she melted into him. “I love you, too.” She looked up at him, her eyes finally meeting his. Ron kissed her hard then, channeling all of the emotion he felt into that one kiss.

When they broke apart, Hermione chewed on her bottom lip before admitting, “I just thought we were finally past it. The nightmares are gone, the pain is gone, but now this will always be a constant reminder. It’s like she’s haunting me on purpose.”

Ron shook his head. “No. Don’t even think that. You haven’t let her get the best of you yet, so we can’t let this setback change anything.”

“I know, I know.” Hermione said. He was right after all. “I’m sorry I tried to push you away. I was just so scared.”

“Well, being alone never helps anything. Learned that the hard way. I hate to break it to you, Hermione, but you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” Ron said as he played with her hair.

“Good.” Hermione said through a smile. “Can we go home now?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

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