#and then imogen gives her an answer that she THINKS is vanilla

[nudibutch]

i think imogen deserves to ride spectral form of dread dick as a treat

[e8luhs]

BLACK SUN.

i’m here for a productive time, not a long time.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY.

a playlist for catriona hao, tracklist & annotations under the cut

I. HAVE YOU GOT IT IN YOU? / IMOGEN HEAP

it takes a lot to always be on form, it takes a lot i maybe not all the time, all i’ve got, maybe not

II. DOG DAYS ARE OVER / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

happiness hit her like a train on a track coming towards her, stuck still no turning back she hid around corners, and she hid under beds she killed it with kisses, and from it she fled with every bubble she sank with a drink and washed it away down the kitchen sink

III. NIGHT SKY / CHVRCHES

i communicate in simple streams (take your time) i'm the only one who gave you the truth (speak to me) once you leave me you were really gone (far and near) give me something to remember you by (always be) all that's here is what you left behind (majesty) slowly moving in the back of my mind (can't forget) take a moment to remember me (and i will) and make me blind so i don't ever look back

IV. COFFEE / JACK STAUBER

wow french vanilla, i think i should sit this one out (no no no) maybe a cup of self control would be the route (but it’s the flavor, it’s the flavor you want!) maybe so, but it feels better to check than to reflect oh

V. ALICE / POGO

[instrumental]

VI. WE PUT A PEARL IN THE GROUND / ST VINCENT

[instrumental]

VII. OPHELIA / MARIKA HACKMAN

she who walks alone in life, is she by herself? we are only as old as we’ve been told and i’m not ready for the shelf

VIII. NOBODY / MITSKI

my god, i'm so lonely so i open the window to hear sounds of people to hear sounds of people venus, planet of love was destroyed by global warming did its people want too much too? did its people want too much?

IX. AQUARIUM / NOSAJ THING

[instrumental]

X. SCIENCE/VISIONS / CHVRCHES

with understanding you won’t let it cast you down a mind full of questions a current to purify science and vision be near when i call your name or ask me a question

XI. I’M GOD / IMOGEN HEAP

[instrumental]

XII. ALL THIS AND HEAVEN TOO / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

but with all my education i can’t seem to command it and the words are all escaping me and coming back all damaged and i would put them back in poetry if i only knew how i can’t seem to understand it

XIII. RUINS / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

XIV. RADIANT / EVERYTHING EVERYTHING

i'm staring through the telescope hungry i'm staring through the telescope at all, at all, i know when every inch of matter is measured and every force and element is known, is known, it's on you're looking for whatever comes after you're looking for a way to escape, escape it all you're looking for a map with no markings you're having second thoughts about it all, it all

XV. END OF THOUGHT / REGINA SPEKTOR

i thought about what you said and it's the end of your thought that really made me upset be careful before you decide the universe is too big the universe is too big you cannot make a mistake you cannot make a mistake

XVI. NUMB / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

i feel numb most of the time lower i get, the higher i’ll climb, and i will wonder why i got dark only to shine looking for the golden light oh it’s a reasonable sacrifice!

XVII. WORKING FOR THE KNIFE / MITSKI

i always knew the world moves on i just didn't know it would go without me i start the day high and it ends so low 'cause I'm working for the knife

XVIII. BLACK SUN / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

there is an answer in a question and there is hope within despair and there is beauty in a failure and there are depths beyond compare there is a role of a lifetime and there's a song yet to be sung and there's a dumpster in the driveway of all the plans that came undone

XIX. POOR ATLAS / DESSA

there’s a book full of plans at the feet of poor atlas titled ‘for man’ but the architects only drew blanks now there’s nowhere to go but go back, go back, go back, go back

XX. STONE MOUNTAIN / ST BEAUTY

lately i’ve been way too hard on myself blaming my problems on everyone else (stone mountain, stone mountain) (stone mountain, stone mountain) (stone mountain, stone mountain) i was thinking it was too far away but i knew this was the path i had to take (stone mountain, stone mountain) (stone mountain, stone mountain) (stone mountain, stone mountain)

XXI. LIFE_UNIVERSE / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

XXII. DUVET / BOA

and you don't seem the lying kind a shame that i can read your mind and all the things that i read there candlelit smile that we both share and you know i don't mean to hurt you but you know that it means so much and you don't even feel a thing i am falling, i am fading i am drowning, help me to breathe! i am hurting, i have lost it all i am losing help me to breathe

XXIII. ISLAND / ETIQUETTE

you kicked up quite the fuss, and then you laid the blame on us you blamed all of us do you even remember that? do you remember that?

XXIV. HEARTACHE / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

XXV. VESUVIUS / SUFJAN STEVENS

vesuvius, i am here you are all i have fire of fire i'm insecure for it is all been made to plan though i know i will fail i cannot be made to laugh for in life, as in death i'd rather be burned than be living in debt

XXVI. A BURNING HILL / MITSKI

so today, i will wear my white button-down i can at least be neat walk out and be seen as clean and i'll go to work, and i'll go to sleep and i'll love the littler things i'll love some littler things

XXVII. DROWN / MARIKA HACKMAN

oh i am bold as brass posing as gold you can shine me all you want but i am hard as i am cold to know your faults to know yourself i suit me well

XXVIII. TIME FOR US / ELSIANE

why keep modifying the ways now that you found this why keep trying to understand what have you caused? we need results from this now we need resolving cannot waste more time get me resolving now!

XXIX. FEARS / MTNS

i think my fears come true you feel the same way too i’m leaving, pack my bags and i’ll see you later see you later

XXX. RUNNING UP THAT HILL (A DEAL WITH GOD) / KATE BUSH

you don’t want to hurt me but see how deep the bullet lies unaware i’m tearing you asunder ooh, there is thunder in our hearts is there so much hate for the ones we love? tell me, we both matter, don’t we?

XXXI. NOBODY KNOWS / ELSIANE

all of this time i've been trying to resolve the pain that we've been constantly exposed as an often strength maybe you'll find there's a start and a stopping place i follow my heart always and felt the pain it's been so hard the task to resolve investigating ourselves becoming what we don't want to be suffering all by ourselves will you realize what has happened here? will you repair all the falling tears? as long as i'm holding i'm facing the strength in my heart

XXXII. WHAT THE WATER GAVE ME / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

and oh, poor atlas the world's a beast of a burden you've been holding on a long time and all this longing and the ships are left to rust that's what the water gave us

XXXIII. SORRY / THE MOTH AND THE FLAME

i’m sorry for everything i’ve done and i’ll no sooner lay down than i’ll be anything i’m not i don’t question the rules i answer for them

XXXIV. SCATTERED AND LOST / LENA RAINE

[instrumental]

XXXV. SHIP TO WRECK / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

and oh, my love remind me what was it that i said? i can’t help but pull the earth around me to make my bed and oh, my love remind me what was it that i did? did i drink too much? am i losing touch? did i build a ship to wreck?

XXXVI. REAL PAIN / INDIGO DE SOUZA

i wanna kick, wanna scream i wanna know it's not my fault i wanna know it's not my fault i didn't mean it!

XXXVII. SOMMARFAGEL / WINTERGATAN

[instrumental]

XXXVIII. TORNADOLAND / REGINA SPEKTOR

it’s so much easier than you think, you try so hard and every time you get it wrong, you get it right you get it wrong but you get it right you get it right

XXXIX. RESURRECTIONS / LENA RAINE

[instrumental]

XL. SOFTWARE GREATMAN / EVERYTHING EVERYTHING

fish are swimming in and out of all our rooms i just thought that maybe I'd get used to doom well, i never did and i never will again there has been much-grieving in relationships

[manorspeaks]

“I haven’t slept in nearly twenty six years. -- twenty seven this September. That gives you a lot of time to think, you know? and through the years I was able to let go of why this had to happen to me. Because it’s not about me, it never really was. I wouldn’t take my actions back for the world. I have a purpose. and so long as it gets what it wants from me, she’ll be able to survive.”

LEARN MORE ABOUT IMOGEN WARD’S STORY BELOW.

full name: imogen ward age of death: twenty date of death: september 17th, 1993 cause of death: snapped neck. face claim: madelaine petsch  tells on the ouija board: the planchette moves slowly across the board. appearance: leather jacket, red hair pulled into a pony, tight fitting jeans, dirty white keds. quick facts: leads all the other spirits, and seems to know the most about the shadow. normally the only one around the ouija board. has a tendency to tinker with lighting. lost her twin sister, rowan. oldest ghost known to the public as most are still trapped in their loops. gave her life in hopes to save her sister’s spirit. bones still remain in the tunnels. despite being trapped with the shadow for twenty six years, still terrified of it.

While working for the Crenshaws, Imogen and her sister saw a lot. She came just to work for the summer before she had to go back to college. Thinking it was a good opportunity to make some cash. She heard the rumors of the Crenshaw’s loss, and how they had built walls so high and so thick around themselves that the community barely even recognized them like they once did. Imo and her sister saw through the pain, and tried to reach the people. Imogen being the one who wound up succeeding, becoming close to Ida during her days working in the manor.

Rowan, on the other hand, found her attention drawn to another who lived in the manor. Someone who Imogen didn’t trust, not even the slightest. Every day Imogen just became more and more suspicious of this person, while Rowan seemed to just fall more and more in love. The two girls for the first time in their twenty years, really had their first big fight. The girls screaming until late in the night things they never thought they’d dare speak aloud, and the fight only came to a conclusion after Imogen said something so horrible to her sister, Rowan had no response. Just leaving. Something they swore they’d never do no matter how painful the fight.

But rather than following, Imogen allowed her to leave. And that was the biggest mistake she could have ever made. the next morning she wakes up and is suddenly sobered by her words as they roll through her mind once more. And when Rowan didn’t come home that night, she knew where she must have been. At the fucking manor. With a couple of friends, Imogen headed back to the manor in order to find her sister. Running through the halls, screaming her name, begging for her to just answer her. Yelling how sorry she was for the horrible things she said, but her pleads fell on deaf ears.

Until she reached the back garden, a place Rowan seemed to thrive in. What she discovered was the sight of her sister dead in the flower bed, body mangled and contorted. Blood staining her dress. Imogen screamed for her friends but they never answered, she pleaded, begged, for hours until the individual who she never trusted came into focus. He didn’t seem phased by the sight below, though, and then a frantic Ida rushed past him.

She continued to repeat ‘what did you do’ over and over and at the time, Imogen didn’t understand who she was talking to, but s͍̬̩̊ͭ̔͞h̴̢e̢̍ͭ͠ ̨̳̠͙̘̥̹̻͓͇̖̥͇̻̳͙͜͝w̪̝͔̘̯̬as̫͍̰͇̞̺͔ͥ̓̓́̑ͪ̚ ͓ͧţ̸̮͠al̈̔҉҉̠̯ķ̧̓͗ͨ̅͐̀ͫ̐͗̉ͩ̚͜į͆̓̽̓ͮ͐̇ͧͯ̃͊̾͂̌͝҉͕̞̭͙͎̰̜̝̻̼͙͈̘̯n͊̈́ͯͯͦͥ̚̚g ̮̤̦̹̣̬̪̦͓̥̘́ͦͬ̔ͭ̒̌̎̆ͩ̎́̕t͓̫̭̲͇̺̜̫̻̼̦̞̩̖̊̆ͤ͊̍ͨ̔͛̓̊̈ͯ̿̚o̦͈ͩ͒͌͘͠ͅ ̵̑ͭ̕t̷̝̮̍ͬh͛ͪe̸͗͒̄̒ͪ͏̟͖̤̞̫ ̹͈̯̹̫̲̣̯̪̙̟̠̱̒ͭͯ̇̌͂̆̎̈̓̇̅̿s̨̨̙̩̹̻̲͉ͫ̈́̓̂̇̌͘ẖ̙͖̰͇͍̲̱̞̳a͠͏҉ḑ̸̖̜̹̝̦̘̪̻͈̳̞̯͎͈ͮͪ̽͊̓̌̆̽ͥ͆͆ͬ̂ͩ͝o̶̵͙͔̻͎̹͡w͍̭͎̲̝̘͖̱ͬ̈́̇̋̔ͨͣ̎. and then ida told imo all about the manor, about the h̢́̕o̦̻̭̦͙̞͇̺̣̙̗̥̠̗͛̑ͧ̍ͩ̈́ͯ̇͋̇͐ͩ́͐r̜̋r̩̭͙̹̼̠̫̓͒͌̑̒̌̔ì̶͝b̝͙̖̗͙̗̹̲̺̫̰̿̀͐̈ͪ͊ͪ͋̀͆̌l̵͓ͪ͡͡ê̄ͤ̽̋̍͑̐̒ͮ̓̚ ̛̔͐͂ͦ̏ͫ͒͒͘t͙̘̟̬̩̖ͫͥ͑ͩ́ͦ̀ͅẖ͙̙͔̦͍̭̤͑̔̃ͫ͌͒ͨͫi͚͙̞̞͓̪̖͈͉̮̤̩͓͇͢͞͠ͅng̢̍͑̉ͦ̑ͨ̀͑ͤͨ͊ͩ̀͝s̰̣̟̘̻̺̮̳͉̬̖͙͔̳͈̾͋͌ͬ̓̌͛ͭ̃̂̂̑͋͊̚ that happened in her home. s̴̡̡͕̟̓̇̄̿͑̈́̀̄̈̀͑̌̚h̶̳͈̜̞̥͓͎̺̩͓̱̯͓̮͙̐̅̇́̅̉̓̆̂́̐̚ȩ̴͎̥͈̞̺̟̗̋ ̶͖́̅̃́͌͝ͅb̴̡̡̛͇̥̯͕̰̖͚̹̖͆̾̊̽̆̾̅̌̾̇̌̚̕͜ę̵̗̭͙͇̝̀͛̏̉͊̽͜͠g̵̨̬͖͈̝͇̳͙͇̣̽̀̋̂͝g̴̡̧̡̛̥͖͖̱̟̤̜̫̘̮̦̪̈́̔͋̀e̴͓̮̩̖͐̊̓̒̑̏̇̉̏̅̚͠d̶̡̙̦̗̹̩̦̰̤̻̣͎̤̓̍̒̃̎̈́̈̌̈́̚̕ ̶̢̣̀̅̋́̓̈̃͋͗̓̇̚̚͠ţ̷̝͔̯̰̬͕̙̖̱͍̬̑̂h̵̹̟̺̞̹̘͎͉͌̀ė̶̢̺̫̀̽ ̷̤̬͎͚̺̬͍̭͖̪̼͓͕̄́͋̉͐͂̅͗̽s̴̝̦̉̂̏̒̌̒͊̆̍̽̀h̶̛̠̺̅͑̄̔͆̌̇͒̂̊͗͠ä̸͈̟̻͓̞́̉̋̉͋̋̿̿͊͑̓͑̚͝ď̴͉̖̦̙͙̍̀̆́̂̃̾̋̈͠͝͝ọ̶̥̹̜͙̩͛ẅ̴̞̣̯̘́̈́͌ͅ imogen couldn’t bare the thought of her sister being t̵̎̒̎̀̋̒͝��̩̞̯̰̩́̍̕͠r̷̩͓͈̣̖̞͇̗͚͑̾͊̑̅̽͂̓̃͌̑͐̽̓̈̈́́̑͑͋̈́̕͘̕͝ą̶̡̭̜͚͖̍͐̐͋̿͐̿̋͐͒̚̚ͅp̷̨̢̡̖̟̹̥͍͚̬̞̩̩̺̘͚̱̲͎̖̜̩̃͗͑̒͑̏̋̿̉̑̾̔̇̓̾̿̐͂͝͠ͅͅp̷̢̨̧̨̝̜̘̗͎͗̉͝͝ę̶̼̮͓̯̯̟̭̲͎̂̇͂̊̐̈́̎͑́̈́͋͊͐̕͘͝͝d̴̢̨̛̛̛̠̹̟͉̿̽͆͒̽̽͛͒̈̚͠͠ ̶̱̫̼̫͎̌̋̿͐̓͗̅̄̑̀̈́͘̕͠͠͠ͅŵ̷͈̱͕̩̝̳̻̩̜͍̪̮̟͔̻̙̫͉̙̲͛̃͑̀̀̿̍͋͘͝͝ͅį̵̡͕̩̻̜̪̫̫̹̤͓̹̼͖̞́ͅt̸̨̙̀̍̏̈́̀̾̅̚ḩ̴̢̧̰̝̖̺͇̭͓̤̫͓͉̪̗̭̟̲̲̹͍̀̐̉̏͆̊̾̌ ̶̡̨͍͈͖͎̟̳͚͎̭͇̖̻̝̠̻̩̣͓̣̘̃̆̄̒̊̽͐́͂̔̅̏̓͐̌͌̑̊̓̇̓̕͘̚͜ţ̸̼̝̹͎̠̝̘͍̦̜̟̩̲̃͛ͅh̴̛̼̖̥͇̦̣͈̝̹̤͗̽̒̓͝ĕ̶͚͚͙͍̱̖ ̴̤̻͇̝͍͙̮͈̊͆͆̀͒̀̆̌̌̈́̃̽͋́̒͒͛̕͝͝͠m̵̜̘̙̜̘͔̓̌̑͊̀̎̓̊͆̿̃̉͌͝͝͝o̷̧̢̧͉̻͇̳͕̝͍̪̰͓͎͎̠̬̜̗̖̗̱̥̳̯̓̉̈͑̃̓͗̂̂̄̈́̋̉̋̾͒̄́̅͂̚͘͝ņ̵̹̭͓̭̟̫̠̼͚̯̘̫̺͉̝̱̩͂̇̌͆̉̄̒̔͐̕͜͠s̷̡͇͇̰͇͎̼̳̞̩̗̔̀̈́͊̎͊̐̓̊̚͜͝t̷̡͔͎̲͎̼̑̈̋̏̀́͒̊̋̃̌́͑̎̚͜e̶̡̡͓̫̤͉̹̞̲͙̹͍͉̐͊̒́̈́̾̀͛̍̈́͋̒͆̔̎̅͘͜͝͝ŗ̶̨͍͔͚̱̳̻̩͓͎̹͎̗͍͎͕̟͔̂̎̋͗̓̓̋̅̿̑͘.  so she did the only thing she thought to do ... ȃ̸̢̱̱̙̉̇̽̓͛̓́͆̾̈́̏̎̍̍̅̾̓͂̐̀̋̄̉̚͘̕͘̚͝͝ͅn̷̫͚̠̘̱͚̞͙͓̜̲͖͉̘̳̙͖͎͇͙̋̓́͋͂͠ͅḑ̶̢̡̢̧̢̛̻̮̖̻̪͔̹̯̖͈̣̙̟̲̼̲͓͓͎̖̞̣̜̻̗́̇̀̊̒̾̀͆̉͑̈́̈́͒̏̒̆̓̇͑̿̐̑̀͌̾̔̈́̓̇̕ ̸̧̡̯̞͈̲̮̘̖̼̮̳̬̖͓͍̩̫͇̜͈̝̗̲͔͖̮͚̻͔́̍̓͋̈́̒́͑̈́́̋̌̔̔͋͆̏̎͌͘̚̕͝t̵̢̨̡̛̛̙̪̖̰̤̲̙̯̺̗̲͑̂̍̅̿̈̈̒̊͐̌̿̏̓͑͂́͗̓̒̌̓̈́̃̕͘͘̕͘̕h̸̢̢͉͉̲̘̼̫̦͔̽͛͋̓̇̃̅̋͒͛̏̕͘ͅę̷̦̞̟̝̭̦̠͓̩̯̟̹̤̟͈̜͌̐̐͋̍̿̂͊̊̎̄͋̔̚̕̚͘͠n̵̨͈͍͇̬̟͔͖̟̪͔͍̼͔͇̥͔̥͎̖͎̩̬͍̲̮̍̉͗͆͐̐̑̔̉̾̕͜͝ ̵̨̥͓̫͎̻̠̠͙̼̯̳̘͑̈͜͠ͅḩ̷̧͇̤̝̯̱̰̤̭̜̯̺̣̼̙̗̦̞̟̾͐̽́͌̆́ė̷͚̎̈́́͋̓͌̄̚ ̴̢̢̛̻͚̲͖̞͙̣̣̪͈̯̲̘̘̗͙̙̠̬̀̎́̃͝ͅs̸̙͓̖̺̃̔͑̈́̓̐̽̔̀͊̈́̀͐̿̔̎̾͘͠͝͝͠͝n̷̢̺̮̩̱͍̖̗̬͉̫̫͓̻͎̫̪̥̦̺̼͖͖̮̼͉̋̅̈̿͆́̽̌̏̆̽̒̔̐̈͑͜͝ͅà̶̧̨̧̛̺̳̱͔̩̳͍͓̹̙͇̝̤̫̟͚̤̮̩͎͓̎̿̅̌̉̓̈́̉̓̂̋̈́͌̆̏̆̂̏͘͘͜ͅͅp̸̧̱̗̥͖͕̼͙̟͈͍̝͍̳̩̘̻̯͍͉̞͇̖͚̥̳̑̚ͅp̸̡̜̞͍̭͙̲̜̦̱̜̫͇̞̪̤͙̗̮͖̦̙͔͕̝͈̩͗̐̀̋̀̐̊̾̊̽̕̚͝ę̸̢̡̳͙̲̮̣̯̝̻̱̰̳̏̊̀͐̈́̈̏̓̊͗̆̓͋̓̈́̆̏̀̈́̇̅̌͊̂͐͘͠ͅd̷̢̥̩̣̖͎̟͙̤̭̪̘̲̼͈̯͍̳̯̜̰̥̽͒̈̈́̒̎̎͒͂͌̂̆̓̽͘͠͝ͅ ̷̡̧̢̡̗̗̳̖̳͙̻͕̹̮̰̠͕̗͔̪̺̤̺̺̜͈̪̙͛͆ḩ̵̢̨̡̰̤̤̱̥̹̳̞̻̳̱̼̜͉̉̈́̔͗̐̂̐͘ͅȩ̵̢̡̨̢̰͙͉̲̭̗̬̯̼̮͚̫̲̼̯͍̫̖̺̣̘̟͑͌̔̒̈̌̐̈́̇̓͑͘͜͠͝ͅr̷̡̢̡̬̺̥͓̥͉͉̲̦͚̥̹̣͙͂̈́̏̍̀͐̈́̓͐̄͆̉͒̐͜͝ ̶͙͚͕̑̉͐̆̚͘n̷̢̨͔̬̮͕͚̗̣̝͙̰̖͎̈́̄͐̍͆́͆͊͌̏̌̊̓̈͝͠͝ė̶̬͕͈̭̭̰͙͚͔͉͖͎̫̳̟̹̈ͅc̷͖͍̱͉͖̟͇̝͇̩͎͇̼͂͐̄͗͌͆̌̌̇͒̋̀̒̆̈́̏̀́́͌̐̑͌̆͘̚ͅk̸̡̜͓̹̟͍͕̱̰͌͒̒̄́̆̂͒͂̓̐̏̉͛͛͗͂̍̂̓̓̚͠͝

And boy, did Imogen deliver on her promise. For months she kept the monster fed on her fear. Her lack of knowledge. How easy it was to pick and pull at her insecurities. The shadow has always really enjoyed harassing her over anyone else, simply because her pain was so rich, and her desire to keep others safe so easy to manipulate. But even through everything the shadow has done for her, Imogen tries to remain positive. Because once a month, she gets to spend the majority of her day with the one person who has ever made her feel whole. 

When it comes to the shadow, and what it’s capable of, Imogen knows it all. She has it down to a science, from when it wakes to what rooms she can hide in when he’s hunting. In the hours where she doesn’t feel the shadow’s presence, knowing it’s sleeping or busy with the hundreds of other souls trapped within those walls, Imogen spends her time trying to guide the guests. Whether it be opening doors, turning on lights, or sitting at the ouija board, always there to answer. 

If you catch a whiff of vanilla or baked sweets, there’s a strong chance Imogen is near your muse.

[howellstvdies]

tag thing. =)

tagged by @flcwerstudies who is, in fact, alive, so go stalk her blog and give her some love

rules: answer the questions and tag some followers you wanna get to know better!

name: imogen

nickname: meg mainly but you can call me whatever

zodiac sign: scorpio

height: 157.58 cm or 5′2

languages spoken: english, swahili, baby level spanish

nationality: kenyan

favorite fruit: grapes and green apples

favorite season: winter 

favorite scent: vanilla and cookies

favorite color: blue and black

favorite animal: C A T S 

coffee, tea, hot chocolate: coffee but my cousin keeps threatening to beat me up because she thinks i’m buying into the coffee culture and that i’m gonna get addicted. ain’t she delightful

average hrs of sleep: six to eight

favorite fictional character: noah czerny and bucky barnes. my two soft babies

no. of blankets you sleep with: one right now; i don’t like it but its a necessity

dream trip: E V E R Y W H E R E 

blog created: august 2017

tagging @pinetreestudies @carrotcakestudies @dungeonstudy and anyone else who’d like to do it (please tag me if you do)

[cnisms]

ok wow... here are some v basic intros for beck, aja, veronika, bella, angel n natalya ! they won’t be super detailed bc... theres fricken 6 of them... some are longer, some are shorter, they are all ugly. but i do know my muses inside out so if u ever want me to expand on anything or fill in any gaps, just lmk. no stat pages for any of them yet, so i’ll list the basics in here. plotting ? yk what to do ! im me or just punch me in the face ! n ofc if theres specific plots u have in mind already just lmk bc as yall know... im always gonna snatch them up anyways (also ONCE AGAIN sorry for never replying to ims, i’m just a lot of foul moods these days n obviously it’s got nothin to do w yall so i wait... aka i get five minutes of peace a week... but i 100% always wanna plot n be friends !!! i WILL reply... eventually...) v brief mentions of miscarriage, drug addiction, neglect, murder n obviously death.

i lied i actually did start this ugli’s stats !! barely, but they’ll be here.

you will never met a bigger nerd than beck ever im tellin u now

had a nice childhood, parents are both scientists n lowkey hippies, v v v smart household. they were always more friendly than parental with him due to the fact that he’s always been (not super mature but) very intellectual.

grew up interested in everything. studied hard n fast. has graduated too many times. thought maybe the goal was to be a lecturer ? couldn’t pick on what tho. ended up staying to hang around his last university and instead tutors literally everyone in literally any subject. if ur muse is studying @ imperial college ? beck is their favourite tutor. srry it’s law !

just a nice guy ? unfortunately doesn’t have very many negative traits to him bc that’s just the way it worked out but he does talk a lot n has trouble effectively communicating anything he hasn’t studied so he may not always appear to be the nicest guy but ? he rlly is just a ugh jesse mccartney vc beautiful soul.

barely getting by bc how much can u charge uni students ? the answer is the minimum. he’s never been super materialistic or anything so it’s not a rude shock to him but his social life suffers (i mean he could find plenty to do himself but he is always rejecting invitations) due to lack of funds.

so boring.. so vanilla..

has to told be told to shut up or he will go for two days n yes it does hurt his feelings xx

megan ajala parekh (goes by aja), 22, cisfemale, panromantic, pansexual, listens to too much usher

was raised between the city n a farm a lil while out of town. had to deal w all of the divorce drama worse than either of her parents. they all cut each other off when she was 16 and she’s fake af making jokes abt it, acting like it was the best decision ever but she wasn’t prepared at all ? she was just couch surfing n surviving on birthday money from her grandparents n she was scared but v “no goin’ back now ig!” about the whole situation/

big mess ! also had no idea what she wanted to do but she was actually a huge flop education wise (no offense gf, me too) n ended up in a government programme n through that she just did whatever was recommended so she ended up in aged care n she loves it !

to be fair she loves everything tho so ? that’s not really sayin much. 

super excitable n ott. is always goin’ head first into everything.

as a result she’s also always exhausted n grumpy. one or the other. she can’t calm herself down n maintain a healthy lifestyle. it just doesn’t work.

lives in a disused hospital bc why not. she’s savin’ up for a nice van... to live in... that’s rlly where she sees herself.

except she’s not really saving up bc she’s the definition of headassery and is spending all her money on fast food and expensive sunglasses n hats that she will lose that same week.

i’m falling asleep but naomi scott is a goddess so whom cares 

veronika erikson, 40, cisfemale, biromantic, bisexual, old as mc’heck so she’s actually got a life for me to talk abt

born in denmark, was scouted at 16, lived between paris and new york after that, had massive success as a model. made money, set trends, still pops up in every other #goals pinterest board and #mood instagram tag. was an entire it girl back in the 90s but ! it was never fulfilling.

literally all she wanted ? her entire life ? was to be a mother ? nothing else ? modelling was a good way for her to make money bc realistically she wouldn’t have been happy doing anything that wasn’t raising her own children but she was never satisfied.

NEVER GOT HER BABIES ! despite marrying very young (she was v keen to start a family but she was also super in love) n immediately gettin into it and giving up her career at 23 to be at her prime health-wise, she had no success. suffered a LOT. the fact that the problem could never be identified was obviously super frustrating n stressed her the frick out ? the miscarriages my dude... she’d been through it n would tell herself not to get her hopes up but it was obviously always worlds worst heartbreak every time.

grew to resent her husband bc tho she knew he wasn’t to blame, she needed to put it on someone. never adopted or looked at other options out of (irrational) fear that she’d have the same kind of feelings towards any children that she didn’t birth herself so ! shit didn’t get better. it literally started 10 yrs ago... and it the negative feelings changed in intensity over n over but they somehow managed to survive 10 years n only recently separated so ! she got rid of everything n moved to london for a fresh start where she now flips houses bc she can ig n it gives her smth to do !

honestly would make the best mother ? she’s aunt to the yates siblings (hey huns) and always did the most for her fricken mini-me imogen. beautiful vodka aunt who brings gifts and gushes about u n is here to gossip but is ready to go off on ur ass if u force her to. won’t go around babying people but... if u give her the chance... 

that... that’s her personality... ideal mom in every way.

separates her private n public life very well but doesn’t share her important thoughts or feelings at all. generally a nice but passive person. 

courtney love tweeting about riverdale vibes.

arabella gomfrey, 23, closeted pan princess (literally a princess (cici is shaking)), sofia coppola’s marie antoinette

the whole gomfrey situation will be developed eventually but for now here is this.

they may not be, but bella is a v affectionate person. is wedged firmly up her entire family’s ass. loves her parents n lets them n everyone else know. rlly thinks they’re right about absolutely everything. will agree to n do anything they say.

will do anything anyone says honestly ? as long as it doesn’t come in conflict with what her parents want for her ? tell her to walk off a building bc it’ll make her parents happy n she’ll sit there stressing and considering it for hours.

won’t think for herself but still manages to be a major fake. only tells u what you want to hear, excessively sweet, will not be the one to deliver bad news ever hell nope she’s paying someone to do that for her. 

v cliquey n judgemental. her inner circle is literally just other pretty rich girls. 

loves the whole situation she was born into n has no shame. milks it. does the most. will throw a tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants. entitled brat !

idk how but she’s the most catholic person you’ll ever meet ? the pope is jealous.

models bc she knows can do whatever the hell she wants without trying ig. just likes the applause.

angela (angel) rosado, 24, panromantic, pansexual, loves girls, Is Beautiful .

yea rosado as in the resort aha... nbd ... was adopted by the rich old rosados when she was 10 n has lived the good life ever since but before that . it was p ugly.

she was literally left on her neighbour’s doorstep when her parents got evicted from their home when angel was 6 months old ? they took her in but ! they struggled ! so a year later when angel’s mother was pregnant again n sorted herself out for a min n came back to claim her so they could be a family or w/e, the people who had been caring for her were obviously like um we rlly should not trust this bich with a baby but we’re abt to be kicked out ourselves so ... they basically forced this image of angel n her mother n the next baby livin happily ever n let her go.

her mother had another girl n angel loved her even tho she was tiny herself... she was (and still is dw her sister is thriving still) crazy abt this baby. she rlly could not love her sister more. their mother wasn’t clean for long, but their father was much worse. when he died 2 yrs later, she quickly worsened too. she was ill n not fit to parent at all but the girls lived with it for 4 yrs before they were taken away. they were told their mother passed away a few months later but neither ever looked into it.

it did not get any better ? in foster care they were bullied ... so bad. they would sneak off everyday to avoid it n then they got in trouble from their carers for doin that like ig you can’t win ! so they were gonna split the sisters up n angel was so ,,, dependent on her lil sister (n got teased for this bc her sister was literally tuckin her in and singing her to sleep every night as if she was the baby) n was not feelin too good about the situation my dudes !

anyways they snuck off to the library soon after n ig hit up The Google for a solution ? n they accidentally ended up reading some story on wtvr gossip site abt these hotel tycoons adopting for the fifth time. angel’s sister.. literally found rosado resorts’ business email . ASKED THEM TO COME ADOPT HER N ANGEL TOGETHER N TAKE THEM AWAY TO LONDON...

n it worked ? luv a (kinda) happy ending

obviously becoming part of a big, rich, sober family in a different country was weird n difficult once the excitement wore off but they made it work. her sister fit in better than her n their parents saw that ? n they noticed she was p much living off of her sister entirely ... but they were v good abt it, they put a lot of time n effort n love into angel n she grew to be THE daddy’s girl of the bunch. like he was good w all of the kids but they always had their (jealous) memes abt angel being the favourite. everyone grew up n moved on, still all v supportive of eachother. angel ? still living near her parents, checkin’ in everyday, still getting everything she wants handed to her.

doesn’t even pretend she’s effectively dealt w the bad memories of her childhood, just straight up acts like she remembers nothing except for her sister singing her to sleep. remembers everything n struggles with it everyday but that’s her business apparently.

likes to let u know that she knows she’s better than u ? better than everyone ? except maybe her sister n her father. doesn’t even like her other siblings. loves them yea, but she doesn’t like them n always starts drama crying to her parents abt how they don’t like her either.

kinda just a real snob yk what i mean ? she’s lit abt her work and her like.. total of 2 friends but otherwise likes to act real unimpressed all the time. 

u would think w the shit she’s seen she would be an understanding person but nope if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t see it.

her parents bought her .. a gym .. for her 20th bday n she opened a few more in the yrs following that and now has celebrities up on instagram posing in angelfit activewear, pretending to drink her protein shakes, u know the deal. she’s v proud of herself.

UM OK WOW its 8am i’ve been working (slowly) at this whole post for 6hrs now n i just forgot i was keeping these short but i can’t pick which details to remove so u know what ? this one stays meaty. thats it tho i think !

also peep her nameless sister in case anyones lookin for muse ideas in the future :P x

N FINALLY... natalya nikolayevna belyakova, natasha works, 27, demiromantic, demisexual, cute ! dont know if u noticed but she’s russian !

these muses just get more n more extreme as u go down the list o wow n still none of them get a coherent introduction. especially natasha bc ? ok so she was raised by dirty money but ... criminal organisations in moscow ... lets not even get into it. let’s say they were big in weaponry.

anyway ! it was just her, her brother n her father. v close. they were weird, everyone knew this. she had no friends, even when she was living out of home to study. her social life was literally whatever dangerous dinner parties her father invited her to n that was it.

it was never that deep (AKA IT WASNT GROSS LIKE EVERY1 MADE IT OUT TO BE) she's literally just shy n angery pup meme. she’s the pretentious smart girl in every story ever who is like “i hate ppl... books cant stab u in the back” like ok relax who asked NERD but she rlly could not escape her family so might as well love them !

um ig her father had her mother killed when natasha was abt 8 yrs old. apparently she was havin an affair. her brother spilled the beans to her yrs later when he was mad at their father. she wanted to be horrified for a second but thought it would change nothing so there was no point. she rlly stanned her father huh ?

he dead too now rip. while natalya was away studying, every1 in their home... her brother, father, everyone workin’ there ... all ... got killed n then the house was torched quick. she knew business had been gettin uglier but this ugly ? [ mari vc ] ruined her fricken LIFE.

one of her father’s creepy old friends eventually had to let her know what happened n how everyone saw it coming or whatever like ok thanks buddy ! natasha’s rlly sad obviously ? doesn’t last long. now ... she’s mad ! now... She’s pissed.

so she’s come to blame this gang that’s heavy in london. she REALLY drops outta school, comes on over, worms her way into their major rival gang n WAITS. she’s been here . for yrs now . and is yet to do . anything ... despite being obsessed with the idea of revenge. she’s playing the long game and making sure she’s getting all the details right bc she’s like Well this is a suicide mission might as well make it count ! its sad but -.- what are u gonna do ? (rival gang subplot coming soon btw whew!)

keeps her desire for actual bloody revenge to herself bc she doesnt wanna look like she’s gonna cause trouble for anyone when she DEFINITELY IS. she only acts angry enough to have her >.> allies >.> belieb that she’s loyal.

obviously committed . obviously she needs some milk .

not a fun person ? unless u tryna die also. but she’s very put together, v professional, cultivated, charming ig when she wants to be, unfortunately adorable, v organized, um what else ? nothin. that’s that. thanks !

THIS IS SO UGLY I CANT BELIEVE I EMBARRASS MYSELF LIKE THIS BUT U KNOW WHAT ! [ CHRIS TRAEGER VC ] LITERALLY ! A MEMEY INTRO POST IS BETTER THAN NO INTRO POST ! GOOD LUCK WITH UR LIVES ! LOVE U ALL !