#and then i went to get coffee to try and hydrate for lab work

[kitwilsonsass]

Lol.

[autumnrory]

of course after three weeks of waiting i finally got comments on my lab results BEFORE i went to my friend's birthday tonight ksjdfjs like really anyway it wasn't much she at least said the thyroid was normal but it's like okay but it's gotten closer to leaving the normal range and like at least four people in my family have had the underactive thyroid so like! why don't we just get me on something for it preemptively

and then at least she's not putting me on anything even though the cholesterol is still high it IS better which a little acknowledgement of that fact would be nice lol but i have been exercising a mere extra fifteen minutes and it gets me so much sweatier (and think what that would be like when the heat is running full blast in the winter) and goes later into the evening like i HATE it and i was trying to work up to another extra fifteen minutes after that and i really don't want to lol but idk what else to do! like! i work an office job i really am not moving a lot during the day and even without the worry about heart disease i know it's not good to spend so much time not moving and all

AND THEN she said bc of my hematocrit (which sounds like it's red blood cells i guess they literally don't even tell you anything but the names of things and the range they're supposed to be in so you have to google what the fuck these tests are ) i should increase my fluids and i drink a good bit of water and i really don't even drink much else like. coffee in the morning or the occasional glass of milk but other than that it's like all water all the time like girlie could there not be another underlying cause for this particular thing because oh my god i do not need to hydrate more

and it's annoying because on the portal it's not like i can reply directly to her comment so i would have to send a message and hope she actually fucking replied since nobody ever did when i originally asked about the blood work and if they HAD i could've asked questions AT my appointment instead of playing this dumb fucking waiting game

[makinglightweight]

3/35

Woke up at 60.9kgs. Today is double Steady State training; I’ll have to eat accordingly and most importantly, stay hydrated. Coffee and two waters around 6:30am.

15k paddle this morning. Nice and sweaty, lost over a kilo of body weight on the water. Craved pizza with loads of cold cuts on top, Drank a bottle and a half of water during. Biked back home, had a protein yoghurt, two tablespoons of rice and four roasted Brussels sprouts. Off to work with another bottle of water to chug.

Trains are a mess, hour long delays, finally at the office. One more bottle of water. Craving toast with prosciutto and honey. Should go talk to my supervisor.

A cup and a half of rice leftovers with some green beans at 12:30 at my desk. Too lonely and busy with work to bother making a lunch break out of it. 15:00 coffee and sparkling water break with a friend from the lab.

16:30 craving Vitamin C gummies. I want to be five again. Too tired to really focus on my work but no train home for a while. Half a water bottle.

Watched a stranger munch down a Ritter Sport on the train back home. Thought about how nice a hazelnut bar would be, but then thought of the pimples I’d probably get.

6:30pm went for an 80’ spin on the indoor bike, almost 30k. My knee is a little strained, trying to keep it light. 40 pages to go till the end of my book. Had dinner around 8:30pm; 250gr of fresh tuna grilled with pepper and lime juice, two cups of sautéed zucchini, pepper and onion cut in strips, two small potatoes. Three glasses of water. No appetite. It’s a depressing day to live today. Country is going to shits.

[positivexcellence]

Shopping: ‘Walker’ Star Jared Padalecki Can’t Live Without These Wellness and Travel Essentials

“I started using Mantra during the pandemic,” Austin-based Padalecki tells The Hollywood Reporter. Introduced to the brand through friends of his wife, Genevieve Padalecki (with whom he has co-starred in Supernatural and Walker; the couple have three children), he says he tried the brand “on a bit of a whim … I had done 21 years on TV. I had tried every supplement on the planet, essentially. If it’s in GNC [or] in some supplement store down the block, I’ve probably tried it.”

Noting that he’s “not a physician” (“I don’t want to make medical recommendations”), Padalecki continues: “I’ve invested in several companies, but this was the first one that I wanted to get in front of publicly. I believe in this. I am certain that I will use our products every day until the day I die.”

“We focus really hard on making the product as clean and as organic as possible. I feel comfortable giving any of the products to my kids, you know. And I think a lot of companies out there, in my opinion, just throw in a lot of stuff, thinking, ‘One of these [ingredients] will work.’ We don’t do that,” he says.

“At this point in my life, I’ll be 40 next year, and my life changed a lot, having kids … I no longer want to be the guy who lifts the most weights at the gym or the guy who’s like, ‘Let’s go get shredded.’ That doesn’t interest me,” adds the San Antonio-bred star. “I want to feel good. I want to wake up in the morning and be able to wake my kids up for school and feel energy and feel rested and relaxed and hydrated.”

Mantra Labs’ philanthropic business model also drew Padalecki in as an investor. The actor has opened up in the past about battling depression, and in 2015 launched his “Always Keep Fighting” fundraising campaign to support the nonprofit organization, To Write Love On Her Arms.

“I’ve literally spent 21 years trying everything on the market and this speaks to me. And Mantra since day one has been donating a portion of every sale to mental health charities, it just spoke to me both physically and more importantly, mentally, I felt good using the product,” he explains. “It’s really important we do good for ourselves and we do good for those we’ll never meet.”

Here, the 39-year-old actor shares more about what attracted him to take on the role as Cordell Walker, how he incorporates Mantra Labs into his filming routine, how he got his first big break in Hollywood and the essentials — from smart toothbrushes and watches to boots — that he can’t live without when he’s traveling for work.

As for Walker, the second season airs Oct. 28 live on the CW and can be streamed free online the following day on the network’s website. The show can be live-streamed on DirecTV Stream (formerly AT&T TV),  Hulu + Live TV and YouTube TV, while the first season is available on HBO Max.

Walk us through Mantra Labs’ products and how you use them in your daily routine.

Rise you take in the morning. You mix with water. It has no caffeine. Rest you take at night and then Go you take as needed. There are days I take zero Gos and days I take three. [One] Friday night we were filming until like 2 a.m. I was riding a horse. I was exhausted. And I don’t want to just try and chug a coffee or Red Bull. So I’ll take a Go. If I’m doing a big, long workout, like an hour or two bike ride or jog or hike or something, I’ll take a Go. So each one is formulated for its specific purpose.

How did you end up moving to LA and pursuing acting?

I was enrolled at University of Texas Austin. We call it just UT. That was in 2000 and I had my books, I had my housing assignments, I had all my classes and then I went to L.A. — like I’m going to give it a shot. And I got Gilmore Girls. I got like a four-episode run on Gilmore Girls. I was making like a thousand dollars every two weeks and I was like, “I’m rich.” And then Gilmore Girls ended up kind of continuing my contract for another five years. Then the Supernatural happened.

What drew you to Walker, to that role and wanting to do that character?

I grew up in Texas and I feel like Walker, Texas Ranger, the Chuck Norris version, had been on [TV] a lot. And obviously, we find ourselves in a very different situation and I want it to find a storyline that I could work from home in Austin about a law enforcement agent who ideally for me, the audience will never know if he’s liberal or conservative, Democratic or Republican. This is not a show about roundhouse kicks. This is a show about a well-rounded family man. We tried to go with a more universal storyline. This is just somebody trying to be the best version of themselves they can and falling short, but, but striving to learn … This is more about like, “Hey, this guy is doing the best he can.”

Since you travel frequently for work, what are some of your essentials?

These are things I legitimately own and travel with. I’ve traveled a lot. I filmed Supernatural in Vancouver for 15 and a half years and we would do like 18 conventions a year. So I’ve done my fair share of traveling out of a backpack.

Right now I have a Tumi backpack that I travel with. I have so much in my backpack. I have a computer and an iPad and scripts. I’m a big backpack guy. People see me and they’re like, “Hey, what college are you going to?” And I’m like, “I ain’t going to college. This is just the way I travel.” It’s just easier to put two straps on and walk than to try and do the whole wheeling of a backpack through an airport or something.

MyCharge Portable Charger

First thing, there’s a company called My Charge. Inevitably I find myself with like five percent battery and other than when I go to bed at night in a hotel room I’m not near a plug. You can get it on Amazon. I’ve probably bought 30 or 40 [of them] in my lifetime. I’ve probably given away 20 of them. I’ll see people whose phones are dying and I’ll be like, ‘Take this.’ It’s a travel battery, but it comes with the plugs. So you can plug it directly into the wall. You don’t have to have a separate plug and a separate cord to charge it and then have a separate plug to charge your phone. There are some that charge your iPod and your iPhone and your computer or whatever. There’s one in my Tumi backpack at all times, fully charged.

Garmin Fenix GPS Smart Watch

I use a Garmin Fenix watch. I’m a big watch collector. I love mechanical watches. But when I travel I use a Garmin Fenix because it has heart rate and also my favorite thing to do when I get to a new city is to just walk around. And so with a Garmin you can GPS track yourself; you can see how many miles you did, your average speed, your heart rate.

And it links into your phone or your computer and you can see what route you did. So you can just put in headphones, go for a two-hour walk around Chicago or New York or whatever. And then you can go like, man, you know, about an hour into it I passed up a really cool little old town spot. Like where was that? When you log into your phone or your computer, you can go like, Oh, that was right there. And you can see where it is, go back if you want. I’ve done marathons and I wear the same watch in my marathons. But that’s a great watch for travel. And also it’ll automatically log in to wherever you are. So it’ll change time zone by itself.

Quip Toothbrush

Obviously, when you’re traveling, you need a toothbrush and toothpaste and I use Quip. It’s a great little electric toothbrush and you sign up for an account and they send you new toothbrush heads. I have one in my backpack right now. They send you new toothpaste and toothbrush heads like once a month

Dermalogica Lotion

For skincare, I just use Dermalogica lotion. That’s basically my entire skincare routine. After I shower, I’ll just put lotion on and I’ve got a big forehead, you know, I’m a big Polish dude and I get a lot of wrinkles and I’m always in the sun; I’m a sun baby. I love being outside and playing with the kids, getting in the pool, going for a bike ride.

My most common travel shoes are by Blundstone. I found out about them because when I started my character on Supernatural, [he] started wearing them in season two or three. They are waterproof and they slip on and off. So if you’re going through the airport, you don’t have to sit there and unlace your shoes, you just kick them off and pull them back on.

Willy T-Shirts

There’s a brand called Willy. (Padalecki says he and his wife are friends with Willy co-founder Charles Nelson, the husband of Sprinkles co-founder Candace Nelson.) I wear their shirts all the time. I wear them to dinner. I wear them to work out. I wear them to sleep. They’re just super cozy, wonderful workout shirts. And also in Texas, when it gets to be like a hundred degrees outside and humid, they breathe. I usually have a rolled-up Willy shirt in my backpack.

hollywoodreporter

[geminiwritten]

heatwave ; bucky barnes

fandom: marvel

pairing: bucky x reader

summary: you’re not a huge fan of the hot weather until a certain super soldier finally gets his arse out of bed and gives you a reason to love it

notes: i wrote this over quite a few days so i’m really sorry if its disjointed, and i’m so sorry if its repetitive of my last piece! i’m still trying to get through a bit of writer’s block, so i hope y’all enjoy!

word count: 3359

The heat seemed to wash over you in waves. Pulses of warmth rolling through your body and stealing your breath. Every inch of your skin glistened with a thin sheen of sweat, drawing all the hydration from your body and draining any energy you might have possessed if it wasn’t for the heatwave currently sweeping through New York City.

“Ugh,” you groaned, your head lulling to the side where Natasha laid, “I think I’m dying.”

She let out a breathy laugh, “You’re not dying.”

“I might be.”

“Oh, come on you two,” Sam hollered from the pool a little way across the balcony, “have some fun for once in your lives!”

Natasha propped herself up on her elbows and squinted over the top of her sunglasses, “With you idiots? No thanks.”

“Why are you always such a killjoy, Romanoff?”

“Why are you always such a pain in the ass, Wilson?” you called back, mimicking Natasha on your elbows.

He scoffed, “That’s rich coming from the whiniest member of the team.”

Your frown deepened, this time out of anger and not because of the bright glare from the sun.

“Watch it, Wilson,” a voice called out from behind you, “or she’ll come over there and kick your ass.”

Both you and Natasha whipped around to find Bucky. He had probably only just woken, his mop of hair tied up into a loose bun with escaped tendrils sticking to the hot skin of his neck and forehead. This time, it wasn’t the heat that knocked the air from your lungs.

“Nice to see you’re alive, Buck,” Steve chuckled as he waded through the pool toward where Sam was leaning against the edge.

Bucky rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to say something smart but having his breath stolen as he stepped out of the shade and into the sun. “Holy shit,” he gasped, “it’s hot.”

“Sharp observation skills, Einstein,” Natasha quipped.

“At least Barnes will get in the pool unlike you two party poopers,” Sam said, before copping a volleyball to the back of the head thanks to Bruce’s poor aim.

He spun around quickly, ball in hand and ready to hurl it back at his attacker.

“Well then,” Bucky sighed, now standing beside you, “I guess it’s time for a swim.”

He looked down at you sprawled across your towel, one arm draped over your eyes to shield from the sun and the other resting on your bare stomach. You suddenly felt exposed, nervous under the gaze of his pale blue eyes.

“Want to join me?”

Your pulse thudded in your ears, and you wanted nothing more than to get in the water with him, but the sound of shouts and spraying water reminded you of the rest of the team.

“I’m sorry, Buck, I’ll have to pass,” you replied.

He pushed his bottom lip forward, “It’s your loss, doll, this heat is a killer.”

Your limbs turned to jelly at the sound of that pet name rolling off his tongue.

“Ugh,” Natasha scoffed beside you, “you two are sickening.”

You wanted to turn around and bite back at her, but what happened next had you paralysed. Every nerve in your body ignited, goosebumps rising across every inch of your skin in spite of the steamy weather. Bucky’s fingers curled under the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and over his head to reveal his sculpted body beneath. His abs rolled and tensed as he rid himself of the material and discarded it on the ground, making your mouth water and your head spin with a thousand different unholy thoughts.

A shriek from the red headed woman beside you broke you out of your trance, and only then did you notice the spray of pool water that had washed over you and most of the balcony.

“You’re an arse, Barnes!” Natasha yelled, standing and angrily snatching up her towel.

You pushed your sunglasses further up your nose as you let your gaze settle on the giggling men in the pool. Bucky’s now wet, broad shoulders glistened under the sunlight, his alabaster skin taught across the landscape of muscle.

“Do you want some lunch or are you just going to keep staring like a creep?” Natasha asked as she stood over you.

Your gaze hardly wavered, “I’m not hungry.”

“Are you sure?” she pressed, her lips curling into a smirk, “because I think you’ve got a little bit of drool on your chin there.”

If Bucky wasn’t pulling himself out of the water right at the moment, you might have turned around to poke your tongue at her, but instead you opted for flipping her the bird while your eyes remained trained on the pool area.

The rest of the steamy day went by far too quickly. Despite your hate for the heat, you stayed out on the balcony until the sun began to set. Only when Bucky and Sam wrapped themselves in towels and declared that it was time for dinner did you finally put your book away, not that you had managed to read even a single page of it.

“Is it supposed to be this hot again tomorrow?” Sam asked as the three of you stepped inside.

“Yeah,” you replied, “and the day after.”

“I bet you’re happy about that,” he chuckled, watching disappointment sweep across your face as Bucky pulled his shirt over his head

“Shut up.”

He chuckled at your feeble attempt to jab his side, easily evading your attack.

“Alright, children,” Tony called from the kitchen, “dinner’s ready.”

Like moths to a flame, the rest of the team gathered around the kitchen bench where Natasha and Tony had laid out the pre-cut ingredients for everyone to make their own burgers.

“I’m going to have a shower before eating,” Bucky said, to no one in particular as he draped his damp towel over his forearm.

“Do you need any help?” Sam asked, his grin evil, “Because I’m sure Y/N would love-”

“Sam!” you snapped.

Thankfully, Bucky remained oblivious, his brows knit into an adorable frown.

“Never mind, Buck,” you said, “I’ll make sure they save you some food.”

His face broke into that familiar smile that melted your heart, “Thanks, doll.”

Once again, your legs wobbled like jelly and you had to steady yourself on the back of the lounge.

“Ugh,” Sam groaned, “I can’t wait until they day you two finally fu-”

“Language,” Steve interrupted with a disapproving glare at Sam.

You poked your tongue out before turning toward the array of burger ingredients, your empty stomach rumbling at the sight.

The next day rolled around just as the weather forecast had predicted. The air was thick with humidity and the sun blared down just as it had yesterday. Once again you found yourself on a towel beside the pool, half of the team splashing around while the other half laid languidly in the shade.

“Still not getting in today?” Steve asked as he approached the bar fridge near where you had placed your towel.

You shook your head, “I’d rather not get caught in the crossfire of an overly aggressive game of chicken.”

“I mean, you could play the game with us, maybe even get to climb onto Bucky’s shoulders.”

You whipped around, your glare lethal, “What the fuck, Rogers?”

He chuckled, “Sorry, Sam told me to.”

“You are the last person I would expect to stoop to his level,” you said, crossing your arms indignantly.

He shrugged, “Well, no one has told Buck, if that makes up for anything.”

“I’m guessing everyone else knows, though.”

He didn’t respond, only smiled sheepishly.

“Ugh,” you sighed.

“In my own defence, Natasha told me about your crush months ago and I haven’t let it slip once. It’s been-”

“Sam,” you interrupted him, “I know.”

He took a generous sip of water before crouching beside you, “For what it’s worth, I think you should tell him how you feel.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed.

Steve knew he couldn’t say anymore. He knew nothing he said would convince you to tell Bucky how you felt, and he knew he couldn’t betray his best friend’s trust by divulging the fact that Bucky really had confessed his feelings for you before. He decided to let you be, gathering three more bottles of water before heading back to the pool.

The day passed almost identically to the one before it, and so did the next. It wasn’t until two o’clock in the morning on the third night of the heatwave that you felt a sudden change. You awoke abruptly, a shiver running down your spine as cool air blew through the open window and brushed across your bare skin. You frowned at the night sky before tiredly pulling your duvet up to your chin and falling back asleep.

By morning, the heat was well and truly gone. Clouds blanketed New York City, threatening to rain as they rolled angrily across the grey sky.

“I guess it’s back to work today, Avengers,” Tony said from behind his tablet.

Almost everyone was awake, crowded around the kitchen bench awaiting Clint’s famous French toast.

“What work?” Peter asked.

“Homework for you, kid,” Steve replied, earning an indignant frown from Peter.

You couldn’t help but giggle into your mug of coffee, before almost spraying it back out at the sight that then exited the elevator.

Bucky. Shirtless. Again.

You began to wonder what you had done to be so lucky, your heart thrumming against your rib cage so hard you worried that someone might hear it.

“Oh, my, Barnes,” Tony gasped, “you know it’s still in the A.M., right?”

Bucky simply rolled his tired eyes before slumping onto the lounge, mumbling, “Hungry.”

It wasn’t long before Clint served breakfast, everyone scoffing their food as if they hadn’t eaten in days, and soon after that, Peter dismissed himself for school and Tony and Bruce made their way to the lab.

“I think I need to get back into the gym today,” Clint sighed, stretching his arms above his head.

You sighed, “Same.”

“Bucky and I were planning on heading down there in the afternoon actually, we could do a group training session,” Steve said as he filled the sink, ready to wash everyone’s dishes.

“I’m in,” Natasha replied, “I was going to head into town for some groceries this morning, so the afternoon is better for me.”

“Yeah, alright,” Clint added, “Count me in.”

“Me too,” Sam said through his last mouthful of toast, “and obviously Y/N will be there too.”

You turned to him quickly, a frown already etched between your brows, “What the hell does that mean?”

He chuckled, “Steve said that he and Bucky were planning it, so obviously you-”

You elbowed him sharply in the gut before standing from your seat at the dining table and stomping over to the kitchen.

Natasha sighed, “You better be careful, Wilson, you’re playing with fire.”

“But it’s so obvious that they both like each other, why can’t they just fuck already.”

Steve’s ears turned red and Natasha laughed, but neither of them seemed to notice as Bucky finally made his way over from the living area.

“Who needs to fuck already?” he asked, brows knit.

“No one,” Steve answered quickly, “Tony wants help moving a new delivery, I said we’d help him out. Come on.”

He ushered the confused Bucky out of the room, but not before shooting daggers at Sam.

After breakfast you decided to go with Natasha into town. The compound was running low on a few things that Tony always forgot to add to the weekly grocery delivery, so you took your time shopping and chatting. It was nice to simply enjoy the feeling of not having sweat drip from every inch of your skin, though you couldn’t help mourning the sticky weather that would encourage Bucky to constantly walk around shirtless.

It was almost four o’clock when you finally changed into your workout gear and headed for the gym. Most of the team were already in there, and those that weren’t had kindly declined the offer of a group training session.

Steve, Sam, Tony, and Bucky were gathered around the sparring mats each taking turns at attacking the training dummy, while Clint was over by the weights alone. You quickly found Wanda and Natasha on the treadmills and decided to start there.

“Afternoon,” Wanda greeted you, her smile sweet as she swiped the sweat from her brow.

You grinned back, “Fancy seeing you out of your room.”

“I don’t do heat,” she said, “but Nat has just been telling me about how much you’ve been enjoying it.”

You tossed your gym towel at her, gasping, “Oh, shut up!”

The two red heads giggled, thankfully too amused to notice the way your eyes drifted across the gym to where Bucky was training.

After almost an hour on the treadmill, chatting idly about nothing in particular with Nat and Wanda, Steve called the team to attention. Everyone moved in from around the gym, forming a misshapen circle around the sparring mats that he and Clint had just hauled from the storage room.

“It’s a bit stuffy in here,” Sam said as he plopped down on the floor and began stretching his legs out in front of him, “is the air on, Tony?”

Tony, who was chugging half a bottle of water, simply shrugged and waved haphazardly at the control panel by the main entry doors.

“I’ll check it,” you offered before turning on your heel.

You tapped the screen and it came to life, but the display wasn’t the same as the one in your room. It had more options and dials for more variables than just the temperature, but on the top right of the screen was a little green button that you assumed meant it was on. You chose the dial that looked like it controlled the fan speed and turned it all the way up.

“All good, Y/N?” Steve called.

You nodded before hurrying back to the group, bending your right leg up to your buttocks in a quick stretch. Steve and Nat then took their positions in the middle of the circle and began demonstrating the fight sequences that they wanted the team to practice.

“Now partner up, pick a mat, and practice until you can do it as fast as you can,” Steve said, before looking directly at Sam, “without hurting each other.”

Sam sighed with exasperation as he turned to his partner, Bucky. You turned to Wanda while Nat joined Clint on a mat and Tony stepped up to where Steve was. Each pair started slowly mimicking the moves that had just been demonstrated.

“It is hot in here,” Wanda said, her breath heavy as she ducked your fist.

You simply nodded, too focused on your movements to be able to speak.

Grunts, huffs, and the thud of heavy feet on the vinyl mats echoed throughout the gym for fifteen minutes before Steve called a break. You practically dove for your water bottle, only to choke on the first mouthful of water when Bucky yanked his sweat-soaked shirt over his head. Wanda caught your eye, giggling as you spluttered.

“I thought the heatwave was over,” Clint said.

Tony nodded, “It is, I think the air-con is playing up.”

“It’s broken?” Wanda gasped.

He shrugged, opening his mouth to respond but stopping when Steve spoke first, “Alright, enough chatting, let’s get back into it.”

Over the next thirty minutes, Wanda’s fist made contact with your shoulder, your abdomen, and almost your jaw if she hadn’t quickly noticed that you were too distracted to block her swing. Her foot then collided with your hip twice before she finally gave in on trying to get your attention.

Your eyes were glossed over and glued to the super soldier duelling Sam. His exposed skin glistened with sweat, muscles rippling under taught, alabaster skin. His stare was hard, eyes almost grey as they narrowed on every move that Sam made. Your palms began to sweat, knees wobbling as you watched his tongue swipe quickly across his pink lips.

“Y/N!” Wanda snapped, her fingers gripping your chin and forcing you to face her, “focus.”

“Shit, sorry,” you muttered.

You raised your shaky hands, trying to block out the shirtless man still in your peripheral vision.

By the time Steve called the training session to an end, the air was almost as dense as the storm clouds outside. Everyone was soaked in their own sweat, hair clinging to sticky skin and muscles beneath burning from use.

“I swear to God, Tony,” Wanda said as she draped her towel over her shoulder, “if the air-con is broken, I’m not going to let you sleep until it’s fixed.”

He chuckled, fingers already moving swiftly across the tablet in his lap, “It’s not broken.”

“Then what the fuck is this?” Sam exclaimed, arms gesturing wildly toward the gym’s huge windows that were completely veiled in condensation.

Tony nodded toward you, “Y/N turned the temperature up instead of down.”

Heat blossomed in your chest, crawling up your neck and to the tips of your ears. Every pair of eyes landed on you, a mixture of irritation and amusement etched across the faces of your teammates.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, “I got confused.”

Most of the group simply chuckled or shrugged, collecting their things and heading for the door, but Sam took his time. The devilish smirk adorning his lips made your pulse begin to race.

“Far out, Y/N,” he said, “you didn’t have to torture all of us just to get Barnes to take his clothes off.”

Your eyes went wide, brows shooting up toward your hairline as every coherent thought left your head. Your heart pounded deafeningly in your ears.

The team was suddenly silent, those closest to the door hurrying out and the rest quickly rushing after them. Wanda stuck her elbow into Sam’s side before dragging him out by his shirt collar.

Bucky remained, paralysed feet still glued to the ground as he quickly tried to catch up on what had just happened.

“Sam was just joking,” you finally managed to speak, “he’s an arse.”

Bucky blinked slowly, “Yeah… such an arse.”

You nodded, mouth dry as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat, “Okay, well, I’ve got to-”

“He is an arse,” Bucky interrupted you, blue eyes wide with curiosity, “but he doesn’t usually lie.”

You didn’t know what to say, your nervous fingers tangling behind your back. His stare was heavy, pressing down on your shoulders and holding you still as he slowly stepped closer.

“Do you like me?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course I like you, Buck, you’re-”

“No,” one last step and his breath fanned the exposed skin of your neck, “do you-”

This time, it was your turn to interrupt. Every bit of pent-up tension and suppressed desire propelled you toward him, coming up onto the balls of your feet and wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. Your lips crashed into his, so hard you might have worried about bruising them if the thought of a mark left by Bucky wasn’t so thrilling.

He hesitated only for a moment before his hands found your waist, practically lifting you off the ground and squashing your body against his. Your fingers tangled in his hair as his tongue glided across your bottom lip, begging for entry. A low, almost feral growl rumbled up from his chest once you allowed him in, tongues clashing.

You only parted when breath became absolutely necessary, your lungs burning for air. He let you back onto your own feet, though his strong arms stayed wound around your waist.

“Um, yeah,” you said between gulps of air, “I really like you, Buck.”

He chuckled, “Well, that’s a relief because I really like you too.”

He pressed his lips to yours once more before pulling away completely and wrapping his gym towel around his shoulders.

“I need a shower,” he said, taking your hand in his and tugging you toward the door, “and it’s your turn to take your clothes off now.”

END.

[fluffymcu]

Letting Loose

Part THREE

This series is TICKLE related. Outfits that are linked here are purely for picturing the clothes, you don’t have to look like the model.

Series Summary:  You’re the little sister of the one and only Captain America. You’re also the youngest girl on the team, so that automatically makes you the avengers’ little princess. And they spoil you as such. They have become your amazing family and you don’t know where you’d be without them. This series will show random adventures and fluffy events in the daily life of the reader and her family, along with an unexpected turn later on as you read.

A/N: I’m so excited to be writing this series! This is my first time writing one and I’m a bit nervous but I hope it all goes well. :) The first few chapters will be about random events, not really following a timeline until Chapter 9. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 3,421

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You wake up to the bright morning light shining through your bedroom and sigh in content, well rested. You turn to look at the clock on your nightstand and you’re a bit confused as to why it’s 10:30am and you’re still in bed and no one woke you up for school. Then you relax and smile as you realize it’s Saturday. And Saturdays are awesome. You jump out of bed and use the bathroom, washing your face and brushing your teeth before throwing on some shorts and an oversized shirt that you stole from your brother and make your way downstairs.

Most of the team is up and in the kitchen, even Bruce. It surprised you a bit since Bruce is always either up in his lab or discussing science with Helen Cho. You smile and greet everyone in the kitchen, hugging Bucky and Wanda. “Did you guys make pancakes?” You ask. Tony shook his head apologetically and placed a cereal bowl in front of you, placing the milk and favorite cereal next to it.

“Sorry, Hun. We ran out of mix, I’m going to the grocery store right now to get some stuff. Be back in an hour!” He said, grabbing his stuff and Pepper following behind him. You prepare your cereal and notice Peter is sitting on the floor of the living room, watching tv and eating his cereal. You didn’t notice him when you came in but you approached him and took a seat next to him, facing the tv.

“Oh hey y/n/n, I didn’t notice you came down.” He smiled, you returning the gesture. 

“Yeah, I didn’t see you either. Thought you were still in bed.” You chuckled. Both of you continued to watch cartoons that morning, the low sound of the tv along with the buzz of the team chit-chatting. You and Peter sat back, resting your backs on the seat of the couch, your empty bowls on the coffee table. 

----

You were laughing along with the team in the kitchen, talking about mistakes and embarrassments some members on the team have made while on missions. Bucky was telling a story about how he was sent to flirt with a woman at a party, that woman being a black market dealer. But instead, he got mixed up and flirted with the wrong person. In the end, they got the woman and arrested her, but he had to deal with constant texts and calls from the lady for the next week, and explain to her about the mix up. He quickly regretted telling the story as Sam had begun to tease him endlessly about it. 

Around that time, Tony and Pepper got home with many groceries and started laying the bags down on the island to put away. Everyone helped put the groceries away so it could be done faster, and sat down in the living room. You all had barely sat down when Tony spoke up. “Hey guys, guess what?” You all turned to look at him. He held a dramatic pause before smiling. “I got a go-kart.” You and Peter gasped excitedly and quickly stood up from the couch. 

“Really?!” You both squealed, making the team chuckle.

“There are 14 people here and you only bought one go-kart?” Steve chuckled, raising his eyebrow sarcastically. Tony rolled his eyes and motioned for everyone to follow him. You and Peter right behind him, overly excited. He led you to be backyard, where the tracks for the Quinjet were, and there was the kart. It was white and blue and had a gold streak in the middle. It was customized, since it had the Avengers A plastered on the hood. You jumped excitedly and Peter’s jaw was on the floor. 

“No way! This is so cool!” Peter gushed. You both turned to look at Tony pleadingly before giving him puppy eyes. “Can we drive it? Pleaaaase?” You both begged. Tony smiled before nodding towards the kart.

“Have at it. Be careful, though. Only ride it on the track.” You and Peter cheered, climbing into the kart. You agreed that you would drive a lap around the compound and let Peter take a lap as well. The team smiled and went back inside when you sped off. 

“WHOOOO!” You screamed, maneuvering the vehicle around the tracks, feeling the wind in your face and blowing through your hair. Peter couldn’t stop laughing silently at how fast you were going. 

‘Y/n you’re gohohohoing too fahahahast!” He laughed, not really meaning it as he was having too much fun. You giggled loudly and screamed as you made a tight turn. “Ohohoho my gohohod!” He laughed, holding his stomach. You sped around the compound, reaching the back door where you left, slowing the kart to a stop. 

“Okay, your turn.” You panted, a permanent smile attached to your face. Peter hopped out and went to the driver’s seat and you buckled up in the passenger’s. Peter grinned before speeding off, your back pressed against the seat and you began to giggle in nervous excitement. You squealed as Peter made many sharp turns and purposely pressed the brakes a few times you make you jerk forward. “Hey!!” You laughed, playfully hitting his shoulder as he chuckled and sped on. You were laughing so much by the time Peter’s lap was finished and you both panted as you sat breathless in the car. 

“Imagine playing Mario Kart in real life with these?” Peter chuckled. “We’d die in the first lap.” You giggled and nodded, fixing your hair from it being all messy from the wind. 

“That was so fun though.” You sighed. Peter agreed and you both sat there to catch your breaths before parking the kart in the garage and going inside. Tony and Steve were there when you entered, probably keeping in eye on you two when you were driving. 

“How’d it go? You guys had fun?” Tony smirked. You both nodded and thanked him for getting the kart and you made your way upstairs. Peter went to his room to take a nap, even though it was only 12:15. You went to check up on Wanda, since you’d always go see what she was doing every once in a while. 

You peeked through her door and found her laid down on her bed and watching a movie. “Hey Wanda!” You greeted and jumped up on her bed. 

“Hey! Whatcha doing?” She smiled, pulling you into a hug. 

“Just checking up on you. I’m kinda bored.” You chuckled, looking at the tv screen. “What are you watching?” You ask as she turns the volume down just a bit. 

“Back to the future. It’s almost over, i think it needs like 20 more minutes. It’s a pretty good movie.” You hummed, nodding as you decided to just watch the rest with her. You’ve heard of that movie in school but you never really got around to watching it. The guy was kinda cute though.

“When this is done, do you wanna put some face masks on? I got a new jade roller.” You asked. Wanda smiled and nodded. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice. We can ask Nat and Pepper if they want to have a spa day with us. You smiled at the thought of all the girls just relaxing and having a self care day. When the movie ended, you hopped out of the bed and went to ask Nat and Pepper to join while Wanda set up the stuff in the spa room in the basement. Nat agreed to go but Pepper had a meeting in an hour so she couldn’t make it. “I’m so sorry Honey, this week has been so busy for me and a spa day would be just what I need to take off all this stress but unfortunately I can’t today.” She said, caressing your head apologetically and walking away. You assured her it was fine and not to worry about it. 

Once you, Wanda, and Nat were down in the basement applying your masks, Clint came halfway down the stairs, calling for Nat. “Nat? You down here?” 

Nat called him over and when he came down and saw you three, he started to chuckle. “Whohohoa. What’s thahat on your face?” He pointed at your masks. You and Wanda had on sheet masks while Nat had a clay mask on. Nat rolled her eyes and changed the subject. 

“What did you need, Clint?” She sighed, ignoring his snickers.

“Naw, I was just looking for you so I could see what you were doin’ and possibly annoy you.” He smirked, shrugging his shoulders. You smiled tightly, not wanting to mess up for mask. 

“Well, It’s working.” She chuckled, causing you and Wanda to giggle. It was Clint’s turn to roll his eyes. You sat up a bit from your reclined chair and looked up at him. 

“Why don’t you join us? You wanna try on a mask?” You asked, with hope in your eyes. Clint chortled and shook his head immediately.

“Nooo thanks. I’m good.”

“But It’s good for your face and it’ll have you feeling so soft.” You drawled out, hoping to get him to give in. “Please? You’ll love it.” You pouted, bringing out your puppy eyes. 

Clint shook his head at you fondly for a moment before sighing. “Fine, I’ll humor you. I’ll only do this because I got nothin’ else to do.” He said, taking a seat on the fourth recliner. You smiled widely and got up to help him get one on. “Would you like a clay mask, or a sheet mask?” You asked. ‘I’ll have whatever Nat has.” He waved dismissively. You grinned and took out the clay mask.

“Clay mask it is!”

--

Whether he admit it or not, Clint was totally enjoying the mask. You could tell by how he couldn’t stop touching his face for the next few hours, gushing about how his face felt so hydrated and soft. 

“Here, touch my face. It’s so soft!”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“But just touch my face and see.”

“I’m not touching your face, Clint.”

--

A few hours had passed, it was about 4:45 and most of the team was down in the gym and Wanda and Vision had gone out to the park. Peter was still napping, surprisingly, maybe to go-kart ride had taken a lot out of him. You were getting sleepy too, and after raiding the pantry and eating a whole bunch of snacks, you passed out on the couch.

Tony came upstairs from his lab feeling a bit hungry. He went to get his favorite cookies from the pantry but they were nowhere to be found. He furrowed his eyebrows, thinking that maybe he had misplaced them, but after searching the whole kitchen, he lifted up the trash bin to find the small box of cookies, empty. His jaw dropped and he looked around to find the culprit. And there you were, passed out on the couch with wrappers of other snack on the coffee table. He sighed deeply, narrowing his eyes at you. “This little minx!” He growled, shaking his head at you incredulously. 

You woke up to fingers poking harshly at your belly and you stirred awake, giggles catching up in your throat. You heard someone calling for your attention but it wasn’t until you were more awake that you realized someone was waking you up. You looked up and saw that it was Tony, poking your belly while wearing a serious face. “Hey! Did you eat all my snacks? Huh?” He asked, raising his brows at you expectantly. Your eyes widened as you realized what you did and you started to giggle nervously. This only confirmed Tony’s theory as he chuckled dryly. “Ohh, I knew it!” He began to scribble his blunt fingers into the middle of your belly, making you burst out into hysterical giggles. 

“Baha! Tohohohony!” You whined, turning over on your belly to avoid his hands. Tony just saw an opportunity to sit on your back and scratch behind your ribs. You scream and kick your legs out in defeat, not being able to see Tony’s smug smirk behind you. 

“I had my name on the and everything, and you just completely ignore that!” He says as he raises his hands in frustration before standing up to turn you around, straddling you again. Your laughter turns desperate when he slips his hands under your arms. “And that’s not even the worst part!” He starts, lifting up your shirt and scribbling on your bare sides. He smiles a bit at your loud squeal. “The worst part is that I just got them this morning! I didn’t get a chance to get one!”

“IHIHIM SOHOHORRY!” You laughed, kicking out your legs at the feeling of his fingers digging into your sensitive sides. You tried to pry his hands off your torso but he grabbed your wrists and pinned them under his knees. “NOHOHOHO!” You squeaked. Tony chuckled before leaning down and rubbing his beard all over your belly, especially on the sensitive spot under your belly button. You shrieked before letting out loud belly laughter, the inability to defend yourself making the sensations worse. “STOHOHOP I CAHAHANT TAKE IHHIT!” You cackle, shaking your head tiredly. Tony smirked and blew a final raspberry on your belly, basking in the sound of your child-like scream. 

You let out helpless giggles as he rubbed his beard on your belly one last time before looking down at you expectantly. “Are you gonna steal my snacks again?’ You giggled, pretending to think. “I mean... probably.” You smiled sheepishly, giggling at Tony as he rolled his eyes and got off of you. “Whatever.” 

You sat up, holding your stomach and called out to him. “I’m just being honest! Knowing me and the fact that I’m probably gonna live here forever, I doubt this would be the last time I eat your snacks.” You shrug. Tony knew it was true too, but he continued to feign annoyance while he walked out of the living room. 

-------

It was starting go get late, The team had gone to their rooms, and you and Peter were having a sleepover in your room. The tv was playing a movie in the background and you and him were talking about the future,

“What do you want to be doing in 5-10 years?” You asked Peter. He was sprawled out next to you on the mattress and staring at the ceiling. There was silence before he spoke up. 

“I don’t really know actually, I mean, with my powers, I don’t have many other obligations that to protect the city. I think I’ll still be living here too. Helping the team. All I know is that I want to help people. Whatever form that takes, I’m willing to do it.” You hummed, smiling a bit. “You? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”

You thought for a moment, tracing patterns on the ceiling with your eyes. “I wanna help people too. I know I don’t really have any powers or enhancements, like my brother, but I would want to help people as much as I can like, starting my own charity organization to help the poor. But I wanna do it right, and make sure that the money is actually going toward their causes. I want to help children in remote places to get an education and teach them that they can do anything, no matter what their situation is. That would be my dream job.” You turned to look at him with a smile. He smiled softly at you and nodded slowly.

“That’s an awesome plan, y/n.” You thanked him and you both turned to look at the ceiling again. “Hey, would Tony put a skylight in here if you asked him?” He smirked. You grinned and and sat up. 

“Probably! That would actually be really cool! But then I wouldn’t be able to block out the light in the mornings when I want to sleep in and avoid school.” You said with a lopsided grin. Peter laughed and shrugged. 

“Welp, you gotta give some to get some.” He said, getting under the covers and turning his attention to the tv. You shrugged nodding and getting in bed as well. You both watched the movie in silence until it ended, you, almost falling asleep and having to stay up on gummy bears and sprite. Peter had no problem staying awake since he had that long ass 5 hour nap. You really regret telling Peter to wake you up if you fall asleep. “Wake up, sleepy head!” He teased, grabbing your head with both hands, shaking it like a snow globe; gently of course. 

You giggled sleepily and let your eyes droop. You were having a Star Wars marathon and taking advantage of being able to sleep late since tomorrow was Sunday. You really wanted to stay awake but it was hard. 

“Would you like me to body slam you? To wake you up?” He asked, a teasing smirk on his face. You sucked your teeth and pushed him off the bed with a giggle. He made a loud thud as his body hit the floor. “Excuse me?” He said, giving you a bewildered look. You instantly regretted your actions as you put your hands in front of you defensively.

“Peter... I’m sorry.” You tried to apologize but he quickly got up and ripped the covers off you. You yelped, rolling off the bed and standing on the opposite side. He jumped on the bed to cross it and get to you but you ran out of the way and So began the big chase. You couldn’t take this out into the halls because most of the team was already asleep, so you both ran in circles around your room, running over your bed and around your hanging chair and such. You were in a fit of nervous giggles as you dodged him again and again. 

It was when you tried to jump your bed again when he caught up to you, tackling you onto the bed. You yelped and pushed at his shoulders but with his super strength, he wasn’t moving an inch. He held your wrists in one hand and smirked at you. “I bet you’re wide awake now, huh.” He grinned, a playfully predatory glint in eyes before holding your wrists to your chest. He decided to attack one of your worsts ticklish spots; your hips. You bit you lip as you squealed loudly, flopping around desperately, laughing your heart out. Peter grinned evily and let go of your wrists to grab your legs. Your stomach dropped and you gasped in fear as you started to violently kick your legs, begging Peter not to get your feet. He chuckled and turned around to look at you, a mischevious smirk on his features. “You’re gonna have to keep it down, y/n, you wouldn’t wanna wake anyone up, would you?” He teased, wiggling his brows at you.

 “Nohohoho Peter plehehehease! Don’t get my feeeeet!” You squeaked, pulling at your legs but he had a death grip on them. Peter ignored your pleas and mercilessly scribbled his nails in the soles of your feet. You screamed, squeezing your hands over your mouth to muffle the sound of your hysterical laughter. You rolled your upper body around on the bed, making Peter laugh and scratch under your toes. Like a reflex, you brought your arms down and screamed, startling Peter. He opened his mouth in shock, listening for any footsteps leading to your room. You instantly brought your hands to your mouth again and you and Peter stared at each other for a minute before bursting out in giggles.

“If we get in trouble, it’s all on you.” You giggled, pushing at his shoulder. He chuckled and shook his head, pointing at you.

“You, owe me for pushing me off the bed. I didn’t even get to get my proper revenge on you.” He raised his brow, poking your side. You flinched and sighed in relief, the both of you getting back into bed and pulling the covers up to your chests. Seconds later Peter gasped and turned to you. “Someone’s coming!” He whispered and you both got in positions, pretending to be asleep. A second later, a groggy Bucky opened the door to your room, looking around. He saw you both sleeping so he walked over to your bed to grab the remote and turn off the tv for you, before going back to his room. 

When he left, you both began to snicker and sigh in relief before deciding to not risk getting caught again and finally go to sleep.

[side-shawty]

Burn XI (Stark!Reader)

XI:Homemade Dynamite 

Fandom: Marvel (MCU)

Type: series

Prompt/Summary: Sometimes it’s only you.

Pairing(s): Peter Parker x Stark!reader, Tony Stark x daughter!reader

Requested? YES

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

•

You didn’t know what time was anymore. The rooms you were taken to had no windows and the hallways were only lit with artificial lights but it had to have been more than a week since that night.

Each day the HYDRA scientists would study you like a lab rat, draining your power to a point where you couldn’t even light a match if you needed to. They gave you enough food and water to keep you alive but physical exercise was prohibited and whenever you tried whatever they had put in your neck would shock you painfully enough to make you double over.

At some point you began to hope they’d just put you in a cryosleep as they did with Bucky, at least then you have some semblance of peace.

You had counted all the cracks on each wall, the ceiling, and the floor of your concrete “bedroom” and started to number your days by the experiments because there were never more than three per day.

You hadn’t seen Harley since your first day and you weren’t sure if he was even still alive. 

On what you believed was your thirteenth day something different happened. You were in the usual room they used to extract your powers but the usually one-way glass was lit and you could see spectators on the other side of it. They all looked like important people, men and women in professional attire waiting to see what they’d do to you today.

One woman, in particular, stood out, however, she was tall and didn’t seem to be getting the sick pleasure of watching you like this that the others had.  There was an air about her though, she stood out from the sea of sharks beyond the glass. You couldn’t take your eyes off her, only looking away when the scientists strapped your head to the table you had been laid on.

“Ready for extraction,” the scientist you had come to call Pierce — because of his eyebrow piercings — said.

“Vitals normal, beginning extraction,” said the second one, Skirt, because she never wore pants. She stuck one needle in your left arm and the “extractor” was placed on your opposite wrist. 

The pain had begun to numb as the days passed but your soul screamed at the violation. Today you couldn’t hold back the tears that fell from your eyes and caressed your ears. 

As always you shut your eyes and counted down from 1,000 several times until your restraints were undone and your body was too heavy an exhausted to move. You were placed in a wheelchair and stared blankly at the halls, counting the lights and re-memorizing the turns to get to your room. 

You were sick of this, Natasha would scold you for not fighting harder. As you were placed on your bed you told yourself that you would fight again, the way you had when you first arrived. The shocks didn’t hurt as much and the threat of a higher voltage did little to scare you now.

Hours later you sat up slowly in the uncomfortable bed lightheaded as you stood to walk to the sink. The water wasn’t the cleanest but it would have to do as you leaned over the sink and gulped it to give your body some sense of significant hydration. 

You stood up with heaving breaths before staring into the small, dirty mirror that hung lousily ahead of you. You didn’t recognize the girl in front of you. 

Your once luscious curls were dry and matted around your thinning face and sunken eyes. Your rich skin had paled significantly and you gave a fleeting thought to what you wouldn’t give to tan on the roofs tower right now.

You mustered what strength you could to ripped the bottom hem of your shirt and ducked your head under the faucet to wet your hair slightly before attempting to tie it into a messy bun. You then scrubbed your face but the dark circles seemed to be there to stay. 

You looked over your shoulder at the camera in the corner and it’s eerily blinking red light. If you could reach it then you could try to loop the footage and maybe some privacy to exercise again.

But the bed was bolted down and the single pillow wouldn’t give you enough added height. Trying to use the paper-thin mattress was also out of the question.  You were too weak to jump and that would also raise too much suspicion.

You sat on the edge of the bed as you thought of something else you could possibly do. The toilet that was shuttered behind an automatic door could be plausible. It was on a timer though, in three minutes it would open on its own.

Unless you could find the control panel.

At that, you stood up and headed for the toilet. You shut the door and heard the indicative beep that it had been shut. You opened and closed it again, listening closely to the sound to see where it had come from. You hoped you wouldn’t raise any suspicions as you did it several more times.

Maybe that would think you had finally snapped. Finally, you found the beeps origin on the left wall screwed shut with screws so small you wanted to scream. 

You tried to think of something you could use to unscrew it and then remembered the toilet only had two large screws on either side keeping it closed and after a few attempts and a raw left thumb you had managed to get the top of the toilet free. You just crossed your fingers that it wouldn’t raise any red flags.

As you looked through the few components you were startled as the door gave three quick beeps and then opened on its own. You quickly pulled out a thin piece of metal that you felt wouldn’t compromise the toilet too much and slipped it into your curls.

After screwing the top back on you exited and rinsed off your hands, watching as your blood danced down the dirty drain. 

The door wouldn’t allot you another three minutes of privacy for at least 30 minutes so in that time you thought of what else you could do with the metal. You wished you knew what time it was because clearly no one had been monitoring closely enough to notice you were behaving differently.

You thought of ways to fashion a weapon and got to work on removing the elastic from your sheets. It was thin but it would be helpful if you could layer it properly. 

This was the first time you felt exhilarated in days but your body was no longer used to such excitement and you could feel yourself crashing. Before you could, however, you subtly pulled up a corner of your sheets and exposed the small hole you had cut during your first few nights. 

It was where you had stashed the small locator chip that you had extracted from your side so HYDRA wouldn’t be able to find it. Clearly something had been blocking its signal or you wouldn’t still be here. You added the metal and elastic before pulling the sheet back into place and lying your head onto the thin pillow.

Tomorrow you’d fight like hell again to free yourself. You were counting on your family to save you but they were counting on you to not give up. Though you weren’t sure where this second wind came from you were more than happy to fall into it.

———

“Tony!” Natasha shouted from across the hallway running towards the other Avenger at full speed. 

He was leaving yet another meeting about the lack of information they had on HYDRA and any leads on you. They infiltrated another base and there was nothing to go on once again but the look on Nat’s face as she approached made Tony’s heart speed up a bit.

“What happened?” He asked as she held a tablet out to him. There was a file on Agent Morse with CLASSIFIED written at the top in red.

“I think we found her. Morse has been under deep cover for HYDRA and she attended an extraction viewing matching Y/N’s description,” she told him and it took everything to hear her words over the beating of his own heart.

“What do you mean ‘matching her description’? She couldn’t see her face?” Tony asked trying not to get ahead of himself.

“She did but if it really was Y/N she’s weak and thin. Shorter hair. The report says that she could barely stand on her own.”

Tony had to even his breathing before he spoke again, “Where is she?”

“Siberia but we have to wait until tomorrow. Security got tighter for the extraction viewing and it won’t go back to normal until then. There are no signs that they’re moving her, they’re comfortable so that means they’ll be vulnerable,” Nat placed a hand on his shoulder looking into his eyes, “It’s not everything we hoped but it’s the best we have.”

Tony nodded, “Wheels up at 0500 tomorrow?” He asked knowing she already made the preparations but needing the confirmation. 

“Yeah, I’ll brief the others. Can you tell the kid?” She asked.

“Of course,” he said and they went their separate ways, each of them already on their respective devices to prepare for tomorrow. Before Tony said anything to Peter he would have to let Pepper and Morgan in on everything, they had been just as devastated — Pepper maybe more so — as everyone else when you were taken.

Tony was on his phone calling her before he even stepped on the elevator, “Pep, I’m coming up can you and Morgan meet me in the living room?”

“Yeah, we’ll be there,” his wife spoke on the other end, her voice had changed too, it had a lot less life now. Even though one of her daughters was safe she wasn’t able to protect the other and she was beating herself up about it.

When the elevator came to a stop Tony was quick to exit and headed for the living room. Pepper and Morgan were already settled on the couch, the young girl huddled in her mother’s lap clutching the stuffed octopus you had given her. It had been yours at her age and seemed a bit worse for wear now.

Tony sat on the coffee table across from them and held one of their hands.

“I think we found her,” he began and saw Morgan bring the octopus closer to her chest. Pepper’s eyes shined.

“Where?” His wife asked.

“A stronghold in Siberia, an undercover agent made what we believe is a positive ID but —“ he took a deep breath as tears threatened to spill over, “but she’s weak so when we get her back she’ll probably be in the medical bay for a while.” Tony finished and Pepper nodded a bit absentmindedly.

“But Y/N/N is alive right?” Morgan spoke softly into the octopus’s head.

Tony removed his hand from hers to hold her face, “Yeah she’s alive. We’re leaving tomorrow to get her back.”

Morgan nodded and held the octopus out to Tony, “Can you give her this? She told me it protects people and I don’t wanna lose her again.”

“Of course babydoll,” took it and placed a kiss on her forehead before she snuggled into Pepper’s chest.

Pepper hugged her tightly, resting her chin atop the girl’s head.

“Bring our Firefly home, Tony.”

———

Today was different. After sleeping a couple of hours you got to work on the panel in the bathroom after several minutes of prying it open. You made sure to mumble to yourself every so often so whoever was monitoring you would just think you went crazy and tried to dig at a metal wall with your nails.

You coughed loudly to mask the sound of the metal being released. Inside you not only found controls for the door but also a low-frequency transmitter that had most likely sent an alert to the terminal when the door had been closed for too long. 

In a futile attempt, you popped the transmitter open and replaced its chip with your locator chip hoping that it would possibly be able to bypass whatever it was that was blocking the chip and let out some kind of signal.

Once that was done you made short work of disabling the timer before screwing the panel back into place as inconspicuously as possible. By the time you were slipping the metal back into your hair and walking out the panel at the bottom of the main door was slid open and your breakfast tray was pushed through.

On it, the same as ever was bread, eggs a meat patty and tea that you were sure was laced with some kind of sedative but if you didn’t drink it all they’d send someone in to force it down your throat. Thankfully whatever it was didn’t have nearly as much effect on you as it used to and as disgusting as it was even less effective if you soaked the bread it in first. 

After the tray was taken away you let yourself lay limp and vulnerable on the bed double-checking to make sure both the metal and elastic were out of sight. Lately, they had been sending one of the scientists’ assistants and one guard to bring you for extractions and experimentations. 

All of the assistants were untrained for combat and would be easy enough to take down. The guard would be harder, fully suited, and armed you’d have to be careful about placing your attacks. 

As you waited for them to come you closed your eyes and tried in vain to ignite your fingers even the slightest bit. You tried your toes too which had — funnily enough — be the first thing you ever lit. Your poor dad thought your foot had caught on fire. 

But nothing. Not even a spark and it made your heartache. The part of yourself that you had come to love so much had been stripped away and you were beginning to feel like it wasn’t temporary.

When you heard the door begin to slide open you pulled the pillowcase from your pillow and sat up on the bed making sure to look as lifeless and broken as you had been. The guard stood at the door beside a wheelchair as the assistant measured your pulse before putting on your restraints. 

As he timed it with his watch you glanced at the guard who had little interest in you and was instead glancing down the empty hallway. Before the assistant let go of your wrist you pulled your head back slightly before throwing it forward at full force right to his face. He was unconscious before he even hit the ground.

The guard aimed his weapon at you immediately and you held your hands up in surrender before pulling the metal and elastic from your hair and quickly shooting it across the room and clean through his eye. You stood on the wheelchair and threw the pillowcase over the camera. 

The guard’s body was spasming slightly and while he wouldn’t die he wouldn’t be conscious for long either. A well-placed punch had him out for the count. 

Assuming you only had a minute or two before someone noticed the lack of vision so in that time you placed the doctor in the bathroom and shut the door and pulled the guard and wheelchair out into the hallway after removing as many weapons from him as you could.

You took the pillowcase off of the camera and raced down the hall. The only locations you knew how to get to are the ones they took you to for experimentation so you figured it wouldn’t hurt to go in the opposite direction.

You just hoped you wouldn’t run into something worse.

———

“How long until we get there?” Peter asked for what had to have been the tenth time since the flight began.

“Less than 30,” Natasha replied from the co-pilot’s seat, her voice held no annoyance though everyone was too on edge for that. 

“Tony come look at this,” Rhodey called from beside her as an alert lit up the screen.

He was quick to stand from his seat where he had been silent for the duration of the flight and look over the other man’s shoulder. On it was something that made his heart soar, your locator had been activated again though the signal was rather weak it was clearly in the vicinity of the base that they were headed to.

 “Does that mean they’re moving her?” Steve asked, coming from behind them to see what the commotion was about.

“Possibly or that she found a way to get the signal out,” Tony replied before clenching his jaw in frustration He absolutely hated not having the answers, especially when the questions were about someone he loved.

Everyone was silent for the next few minutes, constantly looking at the screen before your location faded out. The air in the Quinjet got heavier as they continued the rest of their journey in silence.

——

As you ran full speed down the hall you didn’t run into another soul until you reached a corner. You waited until the two men walked into another room and shut the door behind them. As you did so you realized that this hallway was different. Well if you were being specific it was more like a sky bridge and you were stunned at the sight of bright greenery beyond the glass. 

Though you still weren’t exactly sure where you were you couldn’t argue that the mountains were beautiful, This part of the base was clearly higher than the basement like the part they had stored you away in. 

You were startled out of your reverie at the sound of an alarm, they had clearly figured out about your escape.

“Shit,” you swore before sprinting the rest of the way down the bridge and bursting through the doors into the other building. On the other side, you were met with 3 armed guards who you didn’t hesitate to fire at before they had a second to think.

Three clean shots and you were running again you heard yelling behind you as the men guards were discovered and swore again. Shots rang out and you began twisting handles until you found an open one. Once you did you you realized it was a supply closet and the barricaded yourself inside. 

Beyond the door, you could hear the men arguing in Russian about not blowing the door off its hinges because they wanted to keep you alive. They weren’t saying that when they were trying to blow my head off, you thought as you stacked boxes to get close enough to reach the vent in the ceiling.

You removed the bulky vest and secured the rifle to your back with the strap before making sure the pistol and knife wouldn’t move. Just as you opened the vent and began to hoist yourself up you almost blacked out as electricity shot through your neck.

With the adrenaline pumping through you you hardly remembered it was there. You fought through it, pulling yourself up and into the vent taking a second to rest as it stopped for a second. You knocked the boxes over with the butt of the rifle and closed the vent before moving back slightly to let yourself lie down and breathe.

The moment the electricity cut off you were crawling through the vent with no sense of direction. At some point, you did hear the sound of a door being blown from its hinges and you were proud of yourself for leaving when you had.

You had gotten some distance when the next shock came. You had reached a break in the vents that had allowed you enough room to sit up and bite back an anguished cry.

The minutes felt like hours as you waited for it to stop and when it had you made a rash decision pulling the knife you had taken from the guard off of its holster and cleanly slicing open the skin over the small device. You bit your tongue to keep yourself from screaming, the knife connecting with it for a split second made your bones quake.

You took several deep breaths before peeling off the cotton shirt to reveal the black sports bra underneath. You bit on the fabric and squeezed your eyes shut as you used your thumb and forefinger to grip the device and pull it quickly from its place.

It had been connected to other wires and the feeling of them being removed in one fail swoop when it probably should have been surgically made you blackout briefly. 

Once you got your bearings again you removed the shirt from your mouth and tied it taught around your neck to help with the bleeding. You held it between your bloodied fingers and silently cursed it before tossing it aside and continuing down the vent. 

Eventually, you found an empty office and decided to jump down after kicking the vent open. You searched through the desk and shelves looking for blueprints or anything that would help you escape. 

At this point, you’d settle for a pair of socks.

Finally, you’d found what you thought was blueprints to the building or at least something close. HYDRA wasn’t very creative when making their bases. You tried to think back to the position of the sun on the sky bridge and the turns you had taken since then but even then you could only guess that you were on the east side of the building. 

Assuming what office you were in you found the nearest exit and memorized it. The halls were sorely lacking in patrols for them to have been looking for an escaped lab rat but you weren’t going to overthink it. They would most likely still be searching the vents so you had to make use of that misdirection.

The closer you got to your would-be exit the louder the sounds of fighting got but you couldn’t understand who they’d be fighting if it wasn’t you. You fought hard not to get your hopes up that someone had come to help you but the hero in you had you running towards the sounds.

Your legs almost gave out at the sight in front of you but you couldn’t waste time on that. You took the rifle in your hands and took down the HYDRA agents one by one with little effort. 

Once that was done the room began to still as all eyes fell to you.

•

NEXT CHAPTER

[invisiblemelonmoose]

Redemption Shipping College AU

because I have nothing better to do and I am craving these dorks

Kris and Silver go the the University of Saffron

while he’s three years older than her, they’re in the same year

Silver went to to a junior college and transferred in, but he’d actually taken about a year off of school to figure himself tf out

They met in an elective class about building relationships with pokémon in their discussion class

She noticed he usually arrived a bit earlier than her, but always sat in the back of the room

They had a project and had to work together because they were the only ones without a partner

Even though he was really intimidating and rather terse with her, she found he was actually really insightful

They had the top two highest grades in the classes and constantly tried to one up each other

Both of them would show up to office hours and try to get whatever extra credit they could, but they ended up having a fraction of a percentage difference on their final grade (Kris won of course)

They never really had any other classes together after that, but he’d always end up running into her around campus

Eventually they realized they actually had a lot of interests in common, and started hanging out all the time

She learned that he actually got into school through scholarships and his own work even though his family could have easily paid his way through

Kris eventually gets into a Masters program (lol) in Pokémon Ecology that leads into the PhD program

She has recommendations from Prof Elm as she assisted in his lab back when she was still in high school

Silver is surprised to learn that Kris actually has basically no friends, despite her personality, because she spent all of her time in cram school and studying

They take an elective study abroad class on semester in Unova because it seemed really cool

Kris may be the caffeine addict (to get her through the studying), but Silver is the coffee snob. She only appreciates and drinks it slowly when he makes some for her with his aeropress

Silver became her self appointed editor after one evening of hanging out and realizing she was pulling an all nighter and she was slowing becoming a tired, incoherent mess

Silver gets a little neglectful of himself when midterms and finals come around, so Kris takes it upon herself to make sure he’s eating properly and keeping hydrated

They like walking around campus at night a a destresser from midterms and finals

At some point they started holding hands during these walks. It wasn’t romantic or even really intentional at first. They just kind of realized it was happening and never questioned it aloud

The lines between acquaintances to friends to best friends to flirting to something more are so blurred that neither can really say when things began

[imagine-organization-xiii]

How about the members with their s/o pre bedtime rituals?

Yes hello it is I with yet another headcanon today. I know, it’s completely unreal.

Xemnas

After a stressful day, Xemnas will often wind down with a glass of bourbon or whiskey to warm him from the inside out.  He’ll sit in a chair in front of a fireplace or on the balcony of your room and just decompress as he thinks about the events of the day.

Always sets an alarm for six in the morning even if it drives you insane, no matter how late he happens to go to bed.  You’ve gotten used to getting up early after doing it over a long period of time, but there are still times when you want to sleep in and Xemnas’ alarm blares at 6 AM like clockwork.

Tries to clear his thoughts before bed, and you’re seriously great at helping him do that.  You’re a nice distraction from the rest of the world when you want to be and you help to keep his thoughts from going too out of control.

Xigbar

Listen, Xigbar has some magic hands, so part of your bedtime ritual - when we’re eliminating sex from the equation, because we all know sex is a good way to wind down - is to have Xigbar massage your back, feet, or shoulders.   He is so good at massaging, it is practically 100% guaranteed to put you to sleep.

Showering together, and once again i’m not even talking about sexually - but it’s okay if it turns into that. Showering together is something intimate and relaxing that you can do with your partner and the two of you love showering together before bed.

Xaldin

If he’s in a really bad mood or particularly stressed, Xaldin will work out before bed until he’s gotten rid of any of his excess energy.  Working out tends to give you more energy instead of taking energy away, so you’ll sit in the gym with him while he works out.  You’ll eventually have to drag him away and to the shower when you just get too exhausted to keep your eyes open anymore.

Other days, he tries to avoid anything overly stimulating before bed.  Not really a yoga or meditation fan, but he’ll definitely do a few stretches that will relieve his body from any excess tension.

Vexen

It’s hard to pull Vexen away from all of the technology in the lab to get some sleep, but when he does sleep, he can’t have any type of tech whirring around in his presence or he’ll get distracted and never get any rest.  Screens will flash and keep him awake thinking about things he’ll have to do the next day.

When he’s with you, you’ll let him read one of his various scientific reports aloud because 1) it helps him find any mistakes and 2) the stuff is so boring that it puts you right to sleep.  By the time he’s finished, he’s ready to fall asleep too, so it works for everyone.

Sometimes, he’ll write in a journal.  He’s not really the type to scribble out his own feelings, but he’ll definitely write down a few ideas he’ll want to experiment with the next day.

Lexaeus

Will often go for a long walk, if not a jog, before bed time. Then he’ll head to a nice hot shower and be ready to pass out in bed after.  It’s nice to go on a small walk together through the castle grounds and enjoy the night air together, even if the two of you don’t talk about anything. By the end, your muscles are pleasantly tired and you’re yawning throughout the entirety of your shower.

Look, Lexaeus will never admit it to anyone else, but he’ll definitely knit before bed.  It takes him a while to get comfortable doing it in front of you, but it’s become super relaxing for you to watch his finger work the knitting needles and create a cute scarf or blanket.  Sometimes, if you’re in the mood to participate, you’ll work on a puzzle together.

Zexion

Zexion reads before bed, obviously, but depending on what he reads, he may or may not actually get sleepy.  Sometimes he’ll start a book, look up at the window, then see that the sun is up.  You like it when he reads to you, but sometimes he never knows when to stop.

Back when Zexion used to have trouble sleeping, he used to count sheep.  However, he can definitely fall asleep if you read to him.  It keeps him from reading too much and getting too into his book, plus he can listen to your sweet voice tell a story.

Likes to have coffee before bed, but you refuse to let him have anything with caffeine.  It’s decaf, tea, or nothing because he’ll end up being awake all night otherwise.

Saix

Saix is one of those people who’s already thinking about what he has to do the next day by the time he’s ready to head to bed.  After he’s showered and sitting in bed, he’ll often make a list of things that went well that day versus things that need improvement - usually the things that need improvement involve the other members.

He’ll also make a To-Do List for the next day.  He feels that a clear and concise list helps to ensure that he’ll wake the next day with purpose instead of just lazing around in bed.  It also helps to set his mind at ease.

The two of you have found several podcasts you like to listen to together, so you’ll often catch up on your podcast listening before bed.

Axel

Has to sleep in the dark. It doesn’t matter if it’s the light of a phone, from the hallway, the moon, whatever.  He can’t have any light in the room if he’s trying to get a good night’s sleep, so it’s become routine for him to walk around and shut off or cover anything that may emit a bit of light.

Also will bring snacks into the bedroom even though he knows that he shouldn’t.  He’s not much of a midnight-snacker, but he likes to be prepared.  And if he ends up having a random craving, you’ll definitely be in the mood to share with him.

Demyx

True to form, Demyx likes to listen to music before bed, but it can’t really be anything exciting or loud. He likes peaceful, comfortable music to lull him to sleep, maybe something soothing and instrumental.  If he’s not caring too much about what he listens to, he’ll let you choose the music!

Cuddle bug when it comes to sleep time.  Can’t get a good night’s sleep unless he has at least twenty minutes of cuddle time with you.  You can’t complain because cuddling with Demyx is one of the best parts of your day.

Plays with his phone before bed even though he knows it’s bad for his eyes.  He likes to stay in touch with what’s going on in the rest of the world.

Luxord

Luxord has a specific system of bed-time rituals he must perform or he won’t get a good night sleep.  It starts, of course, with a cup of chamomile tea or even tea with valerian root if he’s feeling particularly stressed.  You’ll share a cup with him and maybe some scones if you’re feeling up to it.

He also tries to go to bed at the same time every night, even though you might not always be going to bed with him.  He likes routines and he enjoys being able to do the same thing every night.

Weirdly, Luxord also likes to wash his hands right before he heads into bed, after he takes his shower and finishes the rest of his routine. It’s his way of cleaning off everything he’s done during the day.

Marluxia

You’ve gotten in the habit of joining Marluxia in doing some yoga, stretching, or meditation before bed.  It’s a fun bonding exercise and it also helps to make you pliant and relaxed whenever you’ve had a long day. It takes some time and patience to be able to silence your mind to meditate, but Marluxia is a great teacher.

You’ll often join him on a walk through his garden before bed, too.  He’s really just looking for little weeds he can pull along the way, but he’s mostly just enjoying looking through the plants to see all of his hard work.

Likes to have a diffuser in the bedroom, usually filled with lavender or other scents that help you both sleep.

Larxene

Larxene knows that bedtime routines are supposed to help a person relax and de-stress, so she always starts off her nighttime routine with a hot bath or shower, especially if it’s right after she’s had a good workout and worked up a good sweat.

She tries not to drink before bed because it doesn’t really help her get a good night’s sleep, but she’ll definitely chug a bottle of water.  Always good to stay hydrated!

You both have to be in the perfect sleeping position before you actually fall asleep.  Larxene doesn’t like to have anyone touching her before sleep, so you often put a pile of pillows between you and curl up on your own sides of the bed unless you’re both feeling uncharacteristically cuddly.

Roxas

Baby boy likes to have a cup of warm milk before bed, and it’s a habit that you’ve definitely adopted from him.  There’s something about it that just makes you super relaxed when you curl up in bed.

Speaking of curled up, part of his bedtime routine is to be curled up under the covers but with the temperature really cold.  It took some getting used to, but eventually you got used to sleeping in a freezing room at night.  He thinks it’s the perfect atmosphere for sleeping in and even though you’re skeptical, you let him keep his routine.

Sometimes, he’s in the mood to watch a movie or a TV show before falling asleep.

Xion

Xion used to have trouble sleeping, so you tried to help her find a few things that would help her fall asleep at night.  It turned out that she loves having a sound machine playing noises in her room as she falls asleep. She’s particularly fond of crickets chirping and storm clouds rumbling in the distance.

Likes to have some sort of light in the room. Not necessarily a nightlight or something, but she might open the curtains and let the moonlight shine in.  She thinks it’s both pretty and relaxing.

You both usually share a nice cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows before bed.

[libraryofluna]

Do you have any tips on how to concentrate more in class? I’m in college and I just finished my first year but I did absolutely horrible. I missed so many classes because I’d stay up until like 2 AM watching YouTube videos and barely got good grades or passed exams because I never studied because I just was too lazy I guess. I want to change these habits because I’m studying to become a pediatrician and I need to stop being this way but idk how. I get distracted so easily.

Hey Anon

I know exactly where you’re coming from, I’ve been there.Now is it laziness or an underlying mental health problem? I have depression and my grades suffered when I didn’t get treatment or didn’t care for myself properly. Sometimes symptoms of depression/anxiety can seem like laziness due to fatigue and lack of interest in things, but it’s a health problem. Maybe you have ADD/ADHD? I don’t know you and your situation, so you’ll know whether or not you need treatment/therapy or just some motivation. Regardless, therapy can help everyone and I always recommend it for anyone having a difficult time with something (no matter what it is).•Getting your sleep schedule on track is a really good way to stay focused in class. Getting four hours of sleep a night is a sure fire way to fail (Been there, done that). Make yourself go to bed at a reasonable time, YouTube will be there on the weekends. Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep. Eat properly as well, aim for as much of a whole foods diet as you can. I know college students are limited on food choices (at least Americans), so at least be sure you’re eating SOMETHING. Bring snacks with you to campus to eat before class. I used to carry cliff bars with me as they gave me a glucose boost and kept me full until I could get a proper meal later. It’s hard to focus when your stomach is growling and all you can think of is lunch. Caffeine can help, but in small doses. A cup or two of coffee a day when you are really dragging is fine, but I don’t recommend chugging pots of it or you’ll be so jittery you can’t focus. Exercise can also help. Stay hydrated! Drink water! Wear comfy clothes to class. Basically you have to take care of your physical needs because your brain is a physical part of your body. Being able to focus/study is related to how well you take care of yourself. Keep yourself as balanced as possible. •On days when you are tired and don’t want to go to class, go anyway. It’s tempting to stay home, but don’t. GO! Even if you’re late, 30 mins of a lecture is better than 0 mins. Something is ALWAYS better than nothing when it comes to college. I was notoriously late for my first class of the day, no matter what/when it was, but I still went and it helped to hear even a little bit of the lecture as I had a better idea of the notes/textbooks I would review later. GO TO CLASS!!•In class I found it helped me to focus when I would take hand written notes (unless my prof was a super fast talker). I’d have to pay attention so I could figure out ways to write short hand notes. Writing reinforced it in my head because I’m a kinesthetic learner. Figure out how you learn best and base your note taking on that. •When you’re home and you need to study, turn off the TV and put your phone on silent. You can download an app that will block internet access or certain websites for a set time limit. I’d leave my phone on the charger in another room so I would wouldn’t even see it. Don’t study on the couch or in the bed, study at a desk if you have one or a table, just some area other than a resting/sleeping place. Eliminate as many distractions as possible. •Get a planner. Schedule time to study subjects based on when exams are. Write down all your exam dates and start studying for them a week in advance. Section out study times. That helped me so much because I'd always forget when the test was, seeing the times written out with study slots helped me stay focused.•On days my concentration was bad, I’d study for 10-15 minutes, then take a 5-10 minute break. It’s best if you can study an hour and then take a break, but that’s not always feasible when you just aren’t feeling it. Again, a few minutes is better than zero minutes, something is better than nothing. •Make friends with the people in your classes. Hold each other accountable for studying the material. Review together. I know I’d study harder when meeting up with friends because I didn’t want to embarrass myself by not being familiar with the topics lol•Make a vision board and set a motivational picture for your phone/computer background. Have something close by that reminds you of your goals.

Lastly, (and I don’t mean any offense at this but…) how badly do you want to be a pediatrician? It ultimately all comes down to how much you want this. As a doctor, you’re going to have to put in a lot of work. Peoples lives will be in your hands. Start thinking of school in these terms, take it very seriously because the work you will be doing is very serious. I don’t know if you’re in America or not, I know some other countries you go right to med school after high school. If that’s the case, you really need to take your studies seriously as you’re learning how to care for people. If you’re American and/or have to go through undergrad first, you really need to take your studies seriously because getting into med school is tough. Either way, if you want it bad enough you’re going to have to reach deep inside you to that fire, that passion that sparked your interest in becoming a doctor in the first place in order to force yourself to get there. Bust ass now (in a healthy way) so you can get to where you want to be in the future.When I struggled to focus at my desk, I’d look at my vision board and think about how I needed to sacrifice some of my free time now so I can be set in the future. I wanted to get into this lab program more than I’ve ever wanted anything, so I let my desire for it fuel me to take better care of myself so I could perform better.

My brother and I always joke, like when we can’t open a jar or something, we’ll say “you gotta want it!” I started using that as a motivational phrase (and it makes me laugh thinking of my brother lol).You’ve just gotta want it. 

You can do it Anon, you’ve got this, I believe in you!💚

[consultingundergroundrainbow]

Life Changes (ch 3)

Peter wakes up around eleven to a text from Tony.

Received Tony: Make sure to hydrate today when you practice. I’d hate to see you in the ER due to collapsing.

Peter smiles softly before getting up and snapping a picture of his water bottle and sending.

Sent Tony: We still on for tonight?

He gets up and gets dressed, finding a pair of soft pants and a button down. He decided to go to the studio to work on some the dances he was given as the dancing part of the audition. The dance was fairly simple but that means he had to be perfect and no less. Of course, with his standards, anything less than perfect wasn’t good enough.

Peter was making a sandwich when his phone pinged. He sets the knife down and unlocked it.

Received Tony: Of course. I’m looking forward to it. Did you sleep well?

Sent Tony: I did. Did you?

Peter puts the phone in his pocket and slides his shoes on, grabbing his sandwich and his keys. He takes a bite and walks out, locking the door before going to to his car. His phone buzzed as he was unlocking his car.

Received Tony: I’m a doctor. There’s no such thing as a good night sleep anymore.

Sent Tony: Oh. I’m sorry :(

Peter slides into the car and sets his phone into the passenger seat, finishing his sandwich and taking off to the studio. This was the studio where he learned to dance and it was his safe haven. He greets the lady at the desk, Sherri.

“How are you doing today Peter?”

“I’m doing great. How’s the kids?” Peter smiles.

“Growing like weeds. So, Something Rotten, huh? Which character?”

“William Shakespeare.” Peter laughs a little.

Sherri raises an eyebrow. “Wanting a reason to take your shirt off on stage?” She teases.

“Are you complaining?”

“Not at all. I just need to know when I can clear my calendar to come watch.” She wiggles her eyebrows. Peter chuckles.

“Behave Sherri.” He scolds.

“Or what? You’ll spank me?”

Peter rolls his eyes with a smile. Sherri was a flirt but was harmless. She drops off a muffin on her desk before making his way into the studio. He sits his bag down and kneels next to the stereo and connected his phone. He sits with his legs out and stretches, before picking himself up and beginning to dance around the room. He lets himself get caught up in the music and the moments just come naturally.

-----.-----

Tony smiles as he finishes his rounds, making his way to the break room for coffee. He nearly runs into Stephen Strange on his way though. Stephen was the head of neurosurgery.

“Woah!” Stephen stumbles back a little. “Earth to Stark.”

Tony shakes his head. “Sorry sorry.”

“What’s got you so distracted?” Stephen moves aside so Tony could get to the coffee pot.

“I’m tired mostly.”

“But you’re in a good mood. You’re an asshole when you’re tired. Did you have sex?” Stephen asked with an amused smile.

“No.” Tony takes a deep drink from his mug. He hums at the strength. It tasted amazing.

“I don’t believe you.”

Tony sits the mug down on the counter.

“I did not have sex. But I met a guy.”

Stephen makes an ‘ah’ sound. “That makes sense. Tell me about him?”

“His name is Peter Parker-”

“Peter Parker? Like the one on Broadway?”

Tony shot him an annoyed look. He hated being interrupted. Stephen didn’t even bother to look sorry.

“Yes, the one from Broadway. He’s pretty and seems very sweet. We’re meeting for dinner when I get off.”

“You better be careful Tony.”

Tony raises an eyebrow.

“And what does that mean?”

“You are both well known public figures. If this ends bad it could ruin your career. Plus, even with as annoying as you are, I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“I honestly don’t see this going bad. At least I really hope it doesn’t. He seems like a really good person. He sang me to sleep last night.” Tony mentions, raising an eyebrow at Stephen’s last remark. “Oh Stephen! You do care!” He says with a laugh.

Stephen rolls his eyes. “You’re needed in the ER. Boss’ orders.”

Tony sighs and puts his mug in the sink. “I have an operation at three.”

“He knows. But there’s a guy who said he has had a headache for a week and a half. Rogers says to check it out.”

“Alright. Fine.” He turns and leaves the room, making his way down to the ER.

 “Good morning, I’m Dr. Tony Stark. I see you’ve been having headaches for a week and a half?” Tony asked, going over the chart. He looks up at the man. He looked young, maybe a sophomore in high school.

“No sir, not headaches. Just one non stop headache.” He winces and closes his eyes against the bright lights of the hospital.

Well that was not good.

“Okay…” Tony glances at the chart. “Aaron, we’re gonna get you up to MRI and see if we can find the cause of these pains okay?”

Aaron just nods.

-----.-----

Peter lays flat on his back in the middle of the studio, with his eyes closed and just let the music wash over him. He kept his mind blank, unsure what to even expect that evening. He honestly did try to keep his mind on his audition, and he was able to for a while but his mind kept slipping back to Tony’s invite. Was it a date? Was it just casual? What do you wear to a dinner with a famous brain surgeon? He sits up and rubs his face. He needed help. He called Ned.

“Hello hello. How may I be of service Dancing Queen?”

Peter rolls his eyes at the nickname.

“I need help. I can’t figure out what to wear tonight.”

“Is it a date?”

“Well I’m getting dinner with Tony-”

“You’re getting dinner with Tony Stark?!?”

Peter had to hold the phone away from his ear at Ned’s loud tone.

“Yes and I need your help.”

“I’m on my way.”

Peter hangs up and laughs to himself. He picks himself up and turns the stereo off before telling Sherri goodbye and heading home.

-----.-----

“Hey Strange. Come here.” Tony calls, sticking his head out of the lab door. Stephen looks over with a tilted head.

“What?” He asked, coming in and sitting his coffee down.

“Look at this.”

Tony puts up Aaron’s scans on the display.

“My god.” Stephen leans forward. “That thing is the size of my fist!”

“Yeah. We have to operate. Toady. That thing is going to kill him if we don’t.”

“What about your date?”

Tony bites his lip. Was it a date? He would love for it to be a date, but he wasn’t sure Peter would be up for it. Stephen snaps his fingers.

“Earth to Stark. Hello!”

Tony shakes his head.

“Sorry sorry. No I’m sure he’ll understand. He’s a good person.”

“Alright. If you say so. I’ll get an intern started on pre ops.”

“Yeah and I’ll go tell him what’s happening-” Tony stopped when his pager went off. He checks it and swears loudly. “Damnit! He’s coding. We are operating now!” He bolts out the door.

-----.-----

Peter stands outside the hospital for a moment, smoothing his shirt and taking a deep breath. He and Ned ended up settling on a red button down and black slacks.He shifts from one foot to the other. It was about half an hour before he wonders if he should have gone inside. He sighs and squared his shoulders before going in. He looks around for a moment before the nurse at the desk calls him over.

“Sir? May I help you?”

Peter clears his throat, suddenly nervous.

“Um...Yes. Can you tell me where Dr. Stark is?”

“He’s in surgery.”

Relief floods over Peter like a tidal wave. Tony was in surgery. He hadn’t been stood up.

“Okay thank you.”

He looks around and finds a seat, sitting down to wait. He pulls out his phone and starts to run through lines. To any other person, he probably looked insane, but Peter didn’t really care. He managed to get through a good chunk of the first act of Sweeney Todd before the nurse clears her throat.

“Sir, here he comes.”

Peter jumps up as Tony comes through the double doors. He looks tired but happy. He brightens instantly when he sees Peter.

“Peter! I’m so sorry about being late. I had a surgery and I’m going to change now-”

Peter smiles.

“Don’t apologize. I don’t mind waiting. Go, a few more minutes won’t kill me.”

Tony gives him a grateful smile.

“I’ll make this up to you.”

‘Don’t worry about it. Go.” Peter shoos him.

  Tony quickly changes into the suit he had brought from home during his lunch break. He forwent the tie, settling on the button up and jacket, in which he only buttoned the middle. He runs a brush through his hair but it wasn’t wanting to corruprate.

“Well don’t you look dashing?” Stephen says behind him.

Tony turns, smirking a little. “I always look dashing, what are you talking about?”

Stephen rolls his eyes. “Ever heard of a hairbrush?”

“Hey maybe Peter likes the messy look.”

“Well maybe. He is going out with you.” Stephen teases and laughs. “Have fun tonight and try not corrupt him too much.”

“Who me?” Tony asked innocently. “I’m a good egg.”

“We will see. Now go on. He’s waiting for you.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow and let me know if something happens with Aaron?”

“I will. Now go.”

Tony smirks and winks before pushing out of the locker room. The look on Peter’s face was priceless. His honey eyes widen and his mouth drops open. Tony laughs a little.

“See something you like?”

“I see a lot of what I like.”Peter blurts then blushes deeply.

 Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. What the hell did he have to open his big mouth? Peter wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“So do I.” Tony smiles offers his hand. “Shall we?”

“Oh. I..I drove.”

“That’s okay. I’ll bring you back here after dinner.”

Peter feels his ears go pink and he takes Tony’s outstretched hand. Tony takes him out to a deep red convertible. It probably cost more than Peter’s car and wardrobe together. He was pulled from his thoughts by Tony opening the door.

“It doesn’t bite. I promise.”

Peter laughs despite himself and gets in. “Sorry. It’s just...really nice.”

“Don’t let that intimidate or or make you feel like you have to try and impress me. Just be yourself.” Tony looks over with an unreadable expression. “For tonight I’m just a guy and so are you. No internationally known brain surgeon or famous Broadway performer. Tonight we can just be Tony and Peter.”

Peter felt himself relax and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Yes. That sounds amazing. I’d love that.”

Dinner was amazing. They went to an Italian place where Tony knew the chef. The conversation wasn’t forced, it felt natural and Peter loved it. But all to soon it came to an end.

“Can we take the long way back?” Peter asked before he could stop himself. “I just...don’t want tonight to be over yet.”

Tony looks over and smiled. The lights of the city made the older man’s eyes shine and made his skin glow. He looked almost angelic. Peter felt entranced.

“Sure thing. I happen to enjoy being in your company.”

They drove around for about a half an hour before they ended up back at the hospital. Peter felt like he was floating. He looks up as his door was opened and Tony offered his hand again. Peter takes it and stands. Their chests were almost touching now. Peter closes his eyes and closes the gap, on a whim. Then he jerked back, hitting his head on the edge of the windshield. Tony tried-and failed- to hide the smile on his face.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to and-”

“You didn’t mean to kiss me?” Tony was still smiling.

“Well, no. Unless...You liked it?”

Tony just chuckles and kisses him, likely to stop his babbling.

“Call me tomorrow after your audition and we can go celebrate.”

“You don’t even know if I’ll get the part.”

“But I do have a feeling.”

“Alright, I’ll have to trust you then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night Peter.”

“Good night Tony.”

[avengersandco]

Pain in Healing

This is based on this post from @itsallavengers that really inspired me. Also, @starsandsupernovae helped me with a little bit of it so you can blame her for some of the angst as well. Hope you enjoy it! (It’s also here on AO3)

Steve knew it had been a rough couple of weeks for Tony. No one could deny that, and while he knew that it wasn’t his fault, Steve couldn’t help but feel like it was.

Just over two weeks ago, he had gone on a small mission with Natasha and Clint. It was supposed to just be a recon mission. He was a last minute substitution for Steve when they realized they weren’t going to be able to get all the information back to the tower, so they needed someone to be able to figure out what was the most important stuff to grab, and quickly. Being it scientific information, Tony was the obvious choice, as no one wanted to run the risk of bringing Bruce and having the Hulk show up as well. Since Steve was originally the one doing the actual information extraction, he was the one who got benched, and while he wasn’t particularly thrilled about it, he didn’t fight it, thinking it was going to be an easy mission

Maybe he should have fought it. Maybe it would be him suffering instead of Tony.

They hadn’t been expecting the lead scientist to be able to fight. He hid in the corner while Tony was looking at the data, out of his suit, trying to figure out what was important, when the scientist jumped him, hitting him over the head, causing Tony to collapse. He was able to call the other two on the earpiece, just as the scientist injected Tony with something. Natasha and Clint rushed in to see their teammate in the middle of a panic attack. As soon as Natasha had calmed him down, and Clint grabbed whatever data he could get his hands on, they were out of there.

The entire ride back, Tony was on edge. No matter how much he and Nat tried doing breathing exercises, or drinking water, or thinking good thoughts, he couldn’t stop shaking. Worrying. Racing. Even in the great time that Clint was able to fly them back to the tower, Tony still had another panic attack and was on the verge of another one by the time they had landed. Tony was so out of it, he didn’t even put up his usual fight about going to medical.

Unfortunately, medical wasn’t able to do much. They were able to tell that Tony had a concussion and that the serum that was injection wasn’t fatal, but was affecting his heart and sympathetic nervous system, mostly causing heart palpitations that his body was processing as panic attacks. Steve learned then that the sympathetic nervous system controlled arousal, or people’s fight or flight response, which explained the panic attacks. Medical assumed that his body was responding that way because he already had anxiety, so it was his body’s natural response. While they were able to figure out what the serum was affecting, that’s all medical could do. They had no idea how to stop it, or how long it would last.

The best they could recommend was what they would recommend to anyone who is trying to take care of their heart, none of which Tony was happy with, or even good at. Avoid unnecessary stress on the body, including no heavy physical activity and getting enough sleep. Cut out caffeine and alcohol. Stay hydrated and eat well. Practice relaxation techniques, such as yoga and aromatherapy.

Yeah, Steve wasn’t wrong in thinking that wasn’t going to go well.

It’s been over two weeks since the mission, and every single day, without fail, he has had multiple panic attacks a day. Some were connected to when he did something he knew wouldn’t be a good idea, like have a cup of coffee, but many seemed to be completely random. One morning while Tony was making breakfast for himself, Steve watched as he went from seemingly content, to the hyperventilating out of nowhere.

It was one of the only ones that Steve had actually seen, as it was one of the only ones Tony had in front of the entire team. He wasn’t sure if he was glad that he didn’t see the majority of them, or if he was hurt by it. It’s not that he wanted to see Tony in pain, but it was starting to feel like he was avoiding Steve. They were on good terms before the incident and were close. Steve was even starting to develop feelings for the genius, not that he would ever admit it.

So it hurt that Tony didn’t seem to find comfort in being with him. Steve supposed that he shouldn’t take it as avoidance though. Tony was spending more time with Bruce and Natasha, which made a lot of sense in Steve’s mind. Bruce was the king of staying relaxed, so he was likely helping Tony with that, but when the panic attacks did hit, Nat was able to sit with him and help him through it.

They were originally going to talk to Pepper or Rhodey to come by and help, but Tony had vetoed those pretty hard, saying Pepper would just make him think of the company, which would stress him out, and Rhodey was across seas, and Tony didn’t want him bothered. So Nat just started to hang around Bruce and Tony a lot during this period, just to make sure Bruce doesn’t get stressed by Tony, and that Tony takes care of himself.

It’s not like Steve was jealous or anything, that Nat was spending so much time with Tony. Steve had originally tried to be that person for Tony at the beginning of the week, but Tony seemed to not want to spend extended periods of time around him anymore. It didn’t break his heart a little bit every time Tony left the room as a way to seemingly avoid Steve. It didn’t, he swears. Steve wasn’t even sure if he could handle Tony having a panic attack if it were just the two of them.

The one good thing was that they seemed to be happening less frequently as the week went on, at least according to Bruce. Instead of 9 or 10 a day, it had gone down to only 3 or 4, which was still a lot, but an improvement. The problem though, was that they were starting to take a heavy toll on his body. They weren’t completely sure if the panic attacks were happening less frequently because the serum was actually starting to wear off, or because Tony’s body physically couldn’t handle them anymore, and he was just always too exhausted to have his heart rate up that fast.

It was worrying though, because as strong as Tony was, his heart was another story. He already had the arc reactor protecting it, and Tony wasn’t exactly nice to it, with the amount of caffeine and alcohol and stress he put his heart through. So while no one would say his heart was weak, it was definitely vulnerable, and the panic attacks were doing it no favors. Apparently, Bruce and the rest of the medical team were seriously thinking about putting him on bed rest until the serum seemed to be completely out of his system.

But Tony seemed to be getting better. He was tired a lot, sure, but he wasn’t holing up in the lab or his room with Bruce and Nat anymore. He didn’t seem as jumpy in general and was able to feel a panic attack coming, and would leave and do his breathing exercises to get him through them, and then come back and join the group as best he could. He was even starting to go back to some of his bad habits again, even though everyone always tried to stop him. And he was starting to talk to Steve again, which was what made Steve the happiest. Tony just made Steve happy.

That is, except when he scares Steve.

They had been watching a movie in the communal living room when it happened. It was just the two of them left in the tower. Tony was lounging on the couch, while Steve sat in an armchair situated close to said couch. Tony was fine; he really was as far as Steve could tell. He had one panic attack in the morning, and it was already mid-afternoon and another one was nowhere to be seen.

“Tony, are you okay?” Steve asked as soon as he heard the sound of heavy breathing coming from the couch.

“I’m fine,” Tony responded, though Steve knew he was lying as he sat up straight on the couch, feet now on the floor instead of on the couch, obviously trying to work on his breathing. Steve got up and crouched in front of Tony.

“Is there anything you need me to do?” Tony shook his head, though he was starting to visibly shake. Steve reached for the blanket that he had been using and wrapped it around Tony, before he grabbed each of Tony’s hands, and was happy when Tony didn’t fight it. Steve racked his brain, trying to remember what Nat had done the few other times he had seen Tony have a panic attack.

“Okay, um,” Steve thought, “just, try and breathe with me. Okay? Can you do that?”

Tony, still shaking, nodded a little, as he tried to follow Steve’s breathing. This lasted less than a minute, as Tony started to hyperventilate, and tried to curl into a ball, pulling away from Steve.

“No, don’t do that,” Steve said, trying to keep Tony focused. Steve tried to keep their hands together, but Tony was actively pulling them away now. He wasn’t sure, but this one was definitely starting to seem a lot more severe than the other panic attacks he had seen, with Tony starting to beg Steve.

“Please, let me go. Please please pleasepleaseplease,” Tony whimpered, still trying to tug away.

“Hey, you’re okay. Nothing bad is going to happen. You���re having a panic attack, but it’s going to be over soon, just try and breathe.”

Steve’s words seemed to fall on deaf ears, as Tony was now fighting to break loose of Steve’s grip, so Steve let go, letting Tony curl into a hyperventilating, shaking ball. Steve ran his hand up and down Tony’s back, giving him encouraging words when JARVIS spoke up.

“Captain Rogers,” was all the AI said initially.

“What’s up JARVIS?” Steve responded, as he continued to try and comfort Tony while glancing up at the ceiling.

“I’m afraid that Sir is in danger of severely damaging his arc reactor.” Steve shot a look at Tony, sighing in relief when he didn’t seem to have heard what the AI said.

“What are you talking about JARVIS?”

“The arc reactor cannot handle the intensity level of Sir’s panic attack, and I fear that it will be permanently damaged if it continues much longer at this level.”

Steve sighed.

“What can I do then to stop that from happening?”

“The arc reactor needs to be removed from Sir’s chest for the remainder of his panic attack.”

Tony did hear that and proceeded to freak out even more than he was.

“No!” Tony shouted, now moving away from Steve, “No no no no nonononono.”

“Tony, it’s okay. Please don’t freak out,” Steve begged. “Is there anything else we can do JARVIS?”

“I am afraid there is not, as there is no backup chest piece for Sir if the current one gets damaged, and he will not be able to survive without it for more than 30 minutes without being rushed to the hospital. Removing the arc reactor is the best and only option.”

Steve wanted to cry. He knew he would be hurting Tony by doing this, but if it meant Tony not dying, he didn’t really see what other choices he had.

“Okay,” Steve said, as he moved toward Tony who was now on the other end of the couch.

“Tony, I need you to listen to me,” Steve said, reaching for Tony’s hands. Tony tried to fight, but Steve fought to this time and was able to grasp both of Tony’s wrists.

“Please no! Get off me! Leave me alone!” Tony thrashed, trying to get Steve off and away from him by any means necessary. Steve pinned Tony’s wrists to the armrest and used Tony kicking as an opportunity to pin them down as well with his body. He now had Tony pinned down, horizontal on the couch. Steve was sitting on his hips, using his calves and feet to pin Tony’s thighs down, and his wrists pinned right above his head. In another situation, Steve would have been happy to be in this position, but with Tony still flailing and begging Steve not to touch the arc reactor, he was wishing he were anywhere else.

“Tony, stop thrashing, please,” Steve pleaded, trying to get Tony’s wrists pinned with one hand, so he could take out the arc reactor with the other, but Tony was relentless.

“Please! Leave it alone, IT’S NOT YOURS!”

Tony was screaming at this point, begging him not to touch the arc reactor.

“Captain,” JARVIS interrupted, “the arc reactor must come out in the next minute or it will be permanently damaged.”

Steve wanted to cry. He hated being in this position. Having to further traumatize Tony in order to keep him alive. It wasn’t fair, but life tended not to be towards either him or Tony.

“I’m so sorry Tony. I promise this will be over soon,” Steve started to say, on the verge of tears while Tony continued to scream and beg, as he reached under Tony’s shirt in order to take the arc reactor out. “As soon as this is over I’ll put it back in. I promise. I don’t want to do this I swear, but it’s for your own good.”

When Steve finally pulled the reactor out, Tony let out a blood-curdling scream that caused Steve to flinch, putting the arc reactor on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“NOOOOOO! PUT IT BACK! STEVE I TRUSTED YOU!” Tony screamed through sobs, which finally made Steve break

“I can’t Tony, I’m so sorry. You need to breathe though. It’ll be over soon and I can put the arc reactor back in once you are breathing normally again. Can you breathe with me Tony? Please?”

Tony was having none of that though. He continued to scream, begging for Steve to put the arc reactor back in, wondering what he did wrong.

“PLEASE I’m sorry- please just give it back,” Tony sobbed, “I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’ll fix it I promise just please give it back- it’s mine.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong Tony, please. You don’t need to apologize-“

“I’M SORRY. Please just stop hurting me!”

“I’m not trying to I swear, I j-“

“GIVE IT BACK!”

“I can’t. Please just breathe with me please, it’ll be over so-“

“I LOVED YOU STEVE! I’M SORRY! I JUST WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME TOO! PLEASE STOP HURTING ME FOR THAT!”

And that stopped Steve. Tony, loved him? What? Since when? Steve quickly snapped back to reality, going back to trying to get Tony calmed down.

“Tony, I love you too. I promise I want this over just as badly as you do, but I need you to breathe.” As he said this, Steve started to do the breathing that he wanted Tony to do, hoping that the man under him would follow suit. For a minute, Tony continued to sob and beg, still hyperventilating and shaking, which was starting to worry Steve, but soon, Tony started to follow suit on the breathing.

As Tony’s breathing started to turn normal, and he wasn’t shaking anymore, Steve slowly let go of him, giving Tony the freedom to sit up and look at Steve face to face as equals, instead of underneath him.

After a few minutes of just silent breathing, JARVIS finally spoke again.

“Sir, it is okay for you to now put the arc reactor back in place.”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Tony mumbled, grabbing the chest piece off the table, and pulling his shirt up to properly place it back in.

The two of them sat in silence for what seemed like forever, neither quite knowing what to say. Finally, as Tony got up, Steve finally started to talk.

“Tony, I-“ Steve started to say before Tony abruptly cut him off

“Fuck off Rogers,” he said, leaving Steve looking dumbfound and completely confused in the living room.

After a moment, it finally hit Steve.

Tony has said he loved Steve.

Loved, as in past tense.

And that was the nail in the coffin of Steve’s heart.

Did Steve ruin his relationship with Tony without it even ever really developing?

Was he never going to get the chance to be with the man he loved because he had to traumatize him in order to keep him from dying?

Had Steve made the right choice?

[orangeyouglad8]

Something’s Spooky in Your Blood

Having some fun with #clexahalloweenweek! Thought I’d throw something in for the Free Day today. Thanks for the fun idea @clexabrasil

This takes place in my SEIYB!verse (in case the title misled you…)

Halloween at the hospital is an event unto its own.

It doesn’t surprise Clarke or sneak up on her. She’s been well versed in the oddities that happen on this night since she was a child. Those nights when her mother would only come home well into November looking dead on her feet.

It’s nothing new.

What is new is being smack dab in the middle of it.

The weekend prior to Halloween stretched from Thursday to early Sunday morning. Full of shenanigans. Ghouls and goblins and drunken broken idiots all around.

The ED bursting at the seams. People of all shapes and colors – literally she saw a blue monster wheeled away on a gurney – poured from every nook and cranny. Fake blood mixed with the real and everyone was confused.

And now, now they arrive on the day itself. A Tuesday. Something so middle of the week, Clarke hopes the crazed frenzy of the weekend will not find it’s way back to the hospital.

She knows her hopes have no shot of coming true.

Indra gives them a strong speech at the start of their shifts. Reminds them all they probably won’t be leaving anytime soon.

Except Clarke is already on an overtime shift. Dangerously close to crossing the line and getting into serious trouble. Indra gives her a look and a nod before she leaves the locker room and Clarke understands it for what it is.

They both are aware of the situation.

But for now, Clarke will deal with whatever comes her way. And ignore Raven’s near constant pestering about the party at her friend’s giant apartment.

Her phone chirps in her locker and she grabs it, smiling at the picture she finds attached to Lexa’s message. She sniffs under her arms and applies another coat of deodorant, grabbing her lab coat and sweeping out of the locker room while her fellow interns get ready for the day.

The day she started hours ago.

She plays with her hair hastily, pulling it back into the tiny bun she can manage. Not yet used to the new short length.

Lexa, though.

Lexa’s eyes went wide when she showed up fresh from the salon.

Her fingers card through it every chance they get.

When the elevator slides open she practically dances through the lobby to the coffee cart. Lexa stands there waiting. Her shirt tucked in, her shoes shiny. Her hair perfect. Clarke’s heart beats so loud she’s surprised everyone can’t hear it.

“Hi, stranger.”

“Hi yourself.” Lexa’s eyes dip to Clarke’s lips. She needs them on hers. Settles for the soft look they both share. “How was your night?”

“Long, boring.”

“Boring is good though for post-op, right?”

“Boring is good.” She leans in then. Brushes her hand against Lexa’s arm, briefly.

Not yet over how well Lexa pays attention and how much she cares.

Lexa holds up a white paper bag that Clarke didn’t even see, too entranced by the girl before her. “I brought you some breakfast.”

“Lex-” She swoons. Constant fucking swooning.

“You need to eat,” Lexa says it low as they inch forward in line. And now Clarke really needs to kiss her. Wonders how much persuading she’ll have to do to get her into a closet or empty room somewhere.

Clarke takes the bag and spies inside.

“You didn’t.”

“I did,” she answers around a grin.

“Lexa…”

“Just eat your sandwich, Clarke.”

Clarke bites into it and releases a hearty moan, hungrier than she realized and happier knowing it was Lexa who was thinking of her. Who woke up early and waited in line before work to bring Clarke her favorite breakfast sandwich to the hospital.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I know,” she laughs.

Clarke nudges her with her shoulder while taking another bite. She offers the sandwich to Lexa, who declines with a soft shake of her head.

This day is already off to a better start than she would have hoped.

They sit in a small hallway off the lobby that no one frequents and enjoy their coffee. Clarke finishes her sandwich and tries not to focus too hard on Lexa’s soft admiration. She chances a small kiss on Lexa’s cheek and takes a deep breath in.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

Lexa gulps. Visibly and loud. “You’re welcome.”

“I need to get back. It might be a little crazy today. I’m already pushing up on too many hours for my shift though so there’s a chance I might make it out.”

“Just let me know.” Lexa’s eyes are still focused on her lips.

Clarke loves it.

“Any chance you’d be up for a party if I do?”

A confused brow finally looks up. “What kind of party?”

“Something crazy I’m sure. Raven has been pestering me nonstop.”

“A Raven party…”

Clarke laughs, “I know. But… it could be fun.”

“I guess it will depend on the shift you have, doctor.”

“I guess so.” She remembers her main selling point. “No one from the hospital will be there…” she dangles it in front of Lexa like a carrot.

Lexa’s eyes light up, just as she hoped. “That sounds promising.”

They smile at each other for a beat.

“Don’t forget,” Clarke says, leaning back in and brushing her lips against Lexa’s ear. “You first kissed me at a Raven party…”

Lexa grabs her wrist, doesn’t let her move. Clarke hears her intake of breath.

“As if I ever could.”

Xx

Her quiet morning with Lexa seems like it was days ago.

The hospital roars to life around midday, when a group of stupidly drunk frat boys roll in, already bleeding with bones protruding in ways they never should. Their togas leave nothing to the imagination.

“We’re pledging,” one of them grimaces as Clarke pokes at his slowly bleeding gash.

“Yeah, that’s the excuse for this?” She sends him a look. Poking again and earning a flinch. He smells like the bottom of a bar floor and Clarke hopes the banana bag she hooked up will start hydrating him. He’s already tried brushing up against her ass more than once. She can feel his eyes heavy on her chest too.

“We’re almost through it.”

“You have to survive it first.” She snaps off her gloves and glares again. He looks up from her chest and his cheeks at least have the decency to blush. “You’ll need stitches. I’ll have to numb the skin, I’ll be back.” She leaves and pulls the curtain closed behind her in a huff.

“Murphy, can you handle bed three? This guy is about two seconds away from sexually harassing me and I just don’t have the strength to ignore it right now.” Clarke leans against the nurses station and lets a little bit of whine into her voice.

“If you take the kid in five, then no problem.”

“Done deal.” She switches to the chart for bed five and walks away. When she pulls the curtain back she’s met with a surly little girl and a worried dad. He would dwarf anyone, but the way he looks at his child melts Clarke’s heart a little bit. The girl has curly brown hair and dark dark eyes. Black ringed around them and a little dot adorning her nose. She looks so sad and small under the hospital lights.

“Hi, I’m Doctor Griffin. What do we have here?” Clarke smiles. It’s harder when it’s a kid. Harder and yet… easier.

“She passed out at school. Clutched her stomach and just passed out.” Her father answers, worried and standing. His hand never leaving her shoulder.

“Dad, I told you my tummy hurt today.”

“I know, baby. I know. I’m sorry.”

Clarke checks the chart again. Seems like appendicitis.

“Maisie, did you throw up today?”

“Yeah. Right when I got to school. I ruined my costume!”

“Well, that is a shame.” She sets the tablet down and pulls on some gloves to assess. “What were you today?”

“I was a raccoon,” her voice breaks a little and Clarke hopes she can distract her enough to stop the tears.

“Looks like you’re still a raccoon to me?” Clarke boops her nose and smiles.  “Can I check your belly, Maisie?”

The girl nods. Her lip quivers and Clarke knows she’s trying not to cry more.

“Which side does it hurt on?”

She points to her right and Clarke starts palpating. She barely touches her before the girl flinches and wails.

“Yep, alright. I think I know what’s wrong.” She nudges for Maisie’s father to stand and follow her out of the bay. Keeps her voice low to not scare the girl. “She’s got a pretty bad case of appendicitis. We’re going to need to take her up to surgery right away – we need to get it before it ruptures.”

He nods, tears streaking his face. “I should have brought her in sooner. She never complains.”

Clarke second guesses for a second before placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s a hard thing to diagnose sometimes. I’m going to get her upstairs and we’ll get it handled, okay? You did the right thing.”

He nods and shuffles back into the bay to sit by his daughter and Clarke grabs a nurse to page Indra and the OR.

Murphy stands by the cart, picking up a suture kit and bandages. He glares hard when she shrugs and gets ready to roll Maisie upstairs.

“Thanks, Murphy.”

Xx

The surgery goes smoothly and Clarke gets to assist the attending, answering questions at rapid fire while she asks.

Peds is… peds is no joke.

And when it’s all over and Maisie is being patched up and taken to post-op, the attending lets Clarke notify her father.

A feeling she’s still not used to.

She finds him stalking the waiting room. Feels his relief and chokes on her words as she watches him break down, tears streaking down his face.

Indra finds her as she checks in on Maisie and brings her dad back. The rooms in peds are decorated with all kinds of animals and fun colors and Maisie gets a good drug induced giggle when she finds out that she’s in the room with raccoons and foxes and forest creatures prancing on the walls.

“Good job, Griffin.”

“Thanks,” Clarke nods. Always appreciative of Indra’s tough love.

“You performed well in there today. Dr. Hunter was impressed.”

Clarke blushes, Dr. Hunter is a rock star and everyone knows it.

“Thanks,” she stammers again. Indra barely conceals her eye roll.

“Make sure you watch that clock. I don’t need you getting written up for going over. We’re already pushing the limit… I should just send you home.”

“It’s barely five yet…”

“I know, but Halloween explodes around here. Something you seem familiar with.”

“Another perk of growing up with a surgeon for a mother.”

Indra simply hums out an affirmation.

“See to her post-op checks, don’t get trapped in the pit.”  She offers gruffly and then she’s gone.  “Don’t be surprised if you find yourself on Hunter’s rotation before long.”

Clarke blushes furiously.

Xx

The pit is slammed when she gets back and there will be no going home for her. Not when her colleagues are up to their ears again in Halloween shit.

Which is fucking crazy, because it’s still just a Tuesday.

But with so many college kids in this city, she really can’t be surprised.

The drunk frat boy with wandering eyes is still floating around. His almost-brother got taken up to surgery to repair the broken femur he came in with. He tells Clarke as much before sobbing and trying to earn some consolation.

Clarke just points him to the waiting rooms and gives him another banana bag. How on earth is he still this inebriated?

She handles two gashes from drunken fights and diagnoses a set of broken ribs and a concussion before Indra finds her and pulls her by the elbow out of the ED.

“Griffin, what did I say?”

She’s livid.

“I can’t just leave! Look how swamped we are!”

“Out. Now.” She growls and Clarke turns on a dime. The fight is not worth it. It’s almost eight and she’s definitely over her time limit. She drops her tablet at the charging dock at the nurses station and grabs a plastic set of devil horns out of the box of gathered and forgotten Halloween accessories.

The locker room is a ghost town and suddenly Clarke feels the exhaustion in her bones.

Raven has blown up her phone.

Lexa has left a few messages as well.

Clarke should shower, she really should, but she’s too tired. Suddenly completely over this hospital. Cannot bear another second of being here.

She changes quickly, asking Raven for the address again and sending it to Lexa. She coats her underarms with another round of deodorant and fluffs her hair, grateful that it always seems to hold better with a little bit of grease and dirt and sweat. Her boots feel comfortable on her feet even after her marathon day and her leather jacket is a warm, soothing comfort.

She sneaks out before anyone can find her. Not in the mood to deal with Octavia’s sass. Or Murphy’s grumping. Or Monty’s guilt trip.

She stops in the bathroom in the lobby and adds a dark coat of eyeliner to her tired face. Adjusts the devil horns just so on her head and grabs her bag not looking back.

Xx

The party is in full swing when she arrives. Bursting out of the big old house in Cambridge out onto the lawn and the porch. Clarke shakes her head, mystified by it all… it’s the middle of the fucking week.

She sets her bag down by the door and looks around. She sees a few familiar faces from her evenings out with Raven and her friends from school. Searches each room until she finds Raven cackling by the keg. Suited up in a stellar replica of a NASA space suit. Helmet under her arm and head thrown back laughing.

She can’t help but smile as she works her way through the crowd.

It’s a packed party. The air is humid and sticky with bodies and sweat and alcohol.

“You really outdid yourself this year!” She surprises Raven. Laughs at the shock and squeal her friend emits before turning around and punching her in the arm. “Ow, what the fuck?”

“Don’t sneak up on me, Griffin. You know I hate it!” She yells. Wraps her arms around Clarke’s neck and pulls her down for a hug. “They actually let you out?”

“If they didn’t I would have been written up so, yeah.”

“Oh, I never thought I’d be happier about your crazy hours than right now, Clarkey.” She pinches Clarke’s face. “Here, have a beer!” The red cup sloshes over her hand in Raven’s enthusiasm to hand it off.

Clarke more than happily obliges, downing the cheap light beer in large sips and refilling the cup before she pulls Raven outside to talk and enjoy the cool fall air.

“I can’t be inside another minute,” she says, leaning against the porch railing. There’s music, but it’s not so loud that the neighbors will complain.

They watch little superheroes and ninjas walk around collecting candy.

“How’s it been?”

“Busy as fuck. Halloween, Thanksgiving and New Year’s… the holy trinity of hospital visits.” Clarke ticks them off on her fingers with a sigh.

Raven raises her cup, “It’s all the alcohol, babe.”

“Mhm,” Clarke answers and gulps the gross beer down, already feeling a warm buzz. She should have eaten something on the way.

“I’m glad you’re here. You needed a night off.”

“I did.”

“You’re not going to be practicing hungover tomorrow are you?”

“No, my hours… I’ll have tomorrow off.”

“Good, because your laundry situation is getting out of hand.”

“Thanks for reminding me.”

“Anything for you, my dear.” Raven swings an arm around her shoulder and smacks a loud kiss on her cheek.

They stand outside chatting for a while. Clarke props herself on the porch railing and rests her aching feet. Raven refills their beers again and comes back with double decker orange and purple jello shots. Clarke groans but chews the shot and swallows it down with a grimace.

Raven is summoned to play beer pong and Clarke waves her off, needing a moment for the world to stop spinning and for the jello taste to leave her mouth.

This is how Lexa finds her.

Lexa who walks out of the crowded doorway and steals Clarke’s breath away. She almost falls backward off the railing.

Lexa. In scrubs. In a lab coat. Hair pulled up on top of her head in a messy bun and fake stethoscope around her neck.

Lexa with her real hospital badge clipped to the front pocket.

Lexa with a smirk – that smirk – on her face.

“Here you are,” She says, sauntering towards Clarke.

“Lex…” Clarke reaches out and pulls Lexa to her. Hands around her waist bringing her between Clarke’s legs. Clarke sees the familiar hospital logo stamped on the scrubs. Gets a thrill when she thinks about where Lexa must have pulled them from.

Brings Lexa down into a kiss.

She’s been wanting to kiss Lexa like this all day. There’s a sharp intake of breath, a hum, a tongue sliding along lips, and then it’s deeper.

Is everything Clarke wants and needs.

“You look really good,” Lexa whispers against her lips.

“So do you, doctor.” She purrs. kisses her again, because she can. Because Lexa is here with her, and Lexa is playing along, and Lexa looks really, really great in Clarke’s scrubs.

“Now you know how I always feel,” she says, dragging her lips down Clarke’s throat, giving them time to breathe.

“A taste of my own medicine?” She jokes. Lexa sucks a little too hard in response.

“Just proving my case,” she mutters into skin, her tongue soothing the spot.

“You know, sleeping with a doctor doesn’t make you qualified to practice medicine, Lex.”

“Why don’t we go home and test that theory.” Lexa husks it out against her ear and Clarke is about to say yes when another voice startles her.

“Griffin, come on, I need a new partner!” Raven calls out and breaks them apart. Clarke glares over Lexa’s shoulder to the door where her friend stands, hands on her hips and an expectant look on her face.

“Fuck off, Rave. I’m busy.”

“Come on, Clarke. I can’t go down like this!” She whines and Lexa giggles into Clarke’s neck where she is still hiding, cheeks red and warm on Clarke’s skin. That’s what does it for Clarke. If she stays here with Lexa between her thighs and kissing her neck, they’ll be doing things that can only be done in private.

“Fine, but you owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, sweet cheeks, move it.” She disappears into the house and Lexa finally looks up.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lexa’s eyes are dark and her lips are plump and red. “Go show off for me.” She smirks again and Clarke laughs.

“Alright, you got it, doc.” She pushes Lexa back and hops off the railing. Grabbing Lexa’s hand and pulling her into the house.

“The horns seem appropriate…” Lexa whispers behind her. Clarke squeezes her hand and wishes they went home instead.

Xx

They beat the next five teams handily. Clarke only has to drink two cups of beer in their run.

Raven is sassy and on fire next to her, sinking shots and talking smack like she’s not short and barely a hundred pounds.

Clarke thinks their luck has to do with the tall lean girl off to the side. The one who can’t take her eyes off Clarke as she shoots. The one who sends her dark looks and private smiles behind her cup.

The one Clarke needs to get her hands on.

They are forced to relinquish the table after the host of the party and his roommate are beaten again for the second time, and declare Raven and Clarke the ultimate champions. Clarke blushes and laughs at the round of begrudging applause and cheers the partygoers cynically throw their way. Raven, though, Raven bows and lifts her hands up to her ears asking for more.

She is…

She is so ridiculous and Clarke loves her so much.

Lexa hands her a fresh cup of beer when she is finally released from her partner duties. Kisses her with a little extra something and smiles against her lips.

“Impressed?”

“Definitely,” Lexa nods. Her voice is husky and Clarke can feel that tension that lives in the space between them ramp up.

“Come on,” She pulls Lexa through the large kitchen away from the beer pong and to the bathroom she found in the hall. They only have to wait a moment for a tiny blonde girl to stumble out with a laugh before she has Lexa inside and the door shut and locked behind them.

They meet in a heated kiss, well past any teasing or propriety. Clarke knows what she wants and thrums with it. Lexa’s hands grip her ass and pull her close, her lips nonstop and devastating.

Hands sneak under Clarke’s shirt and scratch lightly at the skin at the base of her back. She gasps and pulls at Lexa’s lip a little, spurning her on.

Swallows the moan that lives in the back of Lexa’s throat.

Comes alive with it.

Tugs at the scrubs and tries to get Lexa closer, closer.

“Where did you get these,” she says, nipping along Lexa’s sharp jaw.

“My hamper,” Lexa replies, tilting her head to allow Clarke more access. They thud back against the door and Clarke groans at the way their bodies bump together. Push up against each other and seek the heat. “They’re the ones you wore home last week because you were-” she stops to gasp as Clarke’s hands rake up her stomach. “Too tired.” She finishes and tilts Clarke’s mouth back to hers.

“The coat?”

“Hospital laundry. Rhonda seemed particularly keen with me.”

“Do I have to keep an eye on that?”

“Hmm… maybe.” Lexa jokes. “I washed these by the way.”

“I can tell. They don’t smell like a fifteen hour surgery.”

“Just checking.”

Clarke dips into her again and keeps sliding her hands up, up. Teasing just under Lexa’s bra. There’s a patch of skin there that is so soft, and so sensitive, it always causes a reaction.

She’s not disappointed when Lexa inhales quickly and pulls her lips away from Clarke’s.

“Clarke,” she gasps.

“Shh, babe.” Clarke captures her mouth again and slides her thigh between Lexa’s in earnest. All too familiar with the very thin barrier the scrubs provide. Lexa’s teeth sink into her lower lip for a moment before her head tilts back again, enjoying the way Clarke’s thigh moves up against her.

Clarke smirks and kisses the strong neck under her lips, runs her tongue along that little dip just before Lexa’s collarbones.

Smiles as Lexa’s hands press into her lower back and pull her closer, tighter.  She wiggles her fingers and gets up under the cloth and wire barrier, teasing the underside of Lexa’s breasts.

“Clarke,” Lexa hisses. Breaks out of their trance. Stands up straighter and looks at Clarke with wide, dark eyes. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” Clarke bites her lip.

“If we start this here we’ll have to finish. And I am not about to do this quickly.”

Those words send a shudder down Clarke’s spine. She’s suddenly speechless and gaping.

Lexa releases her grip on Clarke’s back and toys with the devil horns that have started to slip down her hair in the wake of their make out.

“Very, very appropriate.” She smiles and fixes them.

Clarke tries to shake the lust off of her, but it’s just not happening with Lexa looking at her like that.

“Come on, let’s go home and you can get me out of your scrubs.”

Another shiver. Clarke has to kiss her again after that. It’s hot and wet and insistent.

“Clarke, please…” Lexa begs and that’s what breaks her out of the trance. She needs all of Lexa, and she won’t be able to have her in this stranger’s bathroom.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go.”

They exit the bathroom much the way they went in, with Clarke throwing open the door and dragging Lexa behind her. They earn a smirk and a low whistle of appreciation from a guy waiting in the hall and Clarke would stop to shove him if she could think about anything else. But all she can focus on is getting Lexa inside of her.

Instead, they make their way to the door, grab Clarke’s bag and spill out onto the street.

“Wanna order a car? It’ll be quicker.” Lexa asks, tugging Clarke to a stop and waving her phone in her free hand.

“Yeah, do it.”

“Two minutes,” she says, eyes focused on Clarke’s lips again.

“Good.”

The wait is agony. They get closer and closer together. Share heated looks. The tension building.

The blue car pulls up and they both jump inside, eager to get back. Their pinkies touch on the seat between them, but nothing else.

Clarke can’t risk it.

Can’t even touch this girl next to her for fear that the unstoppable urges will take over. She leans her head on the window instead. Watches the city pass by outside and enjoys the cool glass on her face.

It’s soothing. Lexa’s presence relaxes her and the long shifts she’s had for the past few days creep over her. The beer she consumed on too empty of a stomach starts to work its magic. Her eyes feel heavy and she sits back in the seat even more.

The car ride isn’t long, but it’s long enough for Clarke to start drifting.

Even with the dirty make out still prickling her skin. And Lexa close to her, ready to reconnect after a long week.

She doesn’t realize she drifted off until Lexa is nudging her gently. “Come on, Clarke. We’re here.”

Clarke hums and allows Lexa to guide her out of the car. She hears hushed thanks and then the driver is gone. Clarke opens her eyes and tries to wake up. She smiles when she sees Lexa standing there under the streetlights in her scrubs with her bag over her shoulder and hair messily falling out of its bun.

It’s such a sight.

A warm wave tugs at Clarke and she steps closer to Lexa. cups her elbows and pulls her in for a soft kiss.

“What was that for?”

“I just like you, I guess.” Clarke shrugs. She loves the smile that plays at Lexa’s lips. It starts slow but opens and blooms beautifully into her full wide smile. The toothy grin that Clarke knows is special.

Lexa pulls her into a hug and hums happily.

“Ready to go upstairs?” Clarke teases it out.

“To bed? Yeah,” Lexa responds.

“No…” Clarke sasses. Stifles a yawn.

“You’re exhausted, Clarke.”

“No, I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s time for me to do dirty, dirty things to you, Lex.”

“Let’s see if you can make it all the way up and to the bedroom. Then we can renegotiate.”

Clarke groans as Lexa guides them up the stairs and to the front door. She feels weaker with every step, and grumpy because Lexa is probably right.

But all she really wants to do is make her come.

“You look good in my scrubs…” she purrs, her face tucked into Lexa’s neck.

“Don’t worry, I’ve already made note of that for the future.”

“Oh yeah? I think you’re the one who needs these devil horns, Lex.”

Lexa laughs as they begin the slow climb up to her apartment and Clarke’s heart flutters in her chest.

Xx

In the end, she does get Lexa out of her scrubs with a few long, slow, wonderful kisses stretched between them. But instead of the hot, steamy, dirty sex she was craving, she is pushed down into Lexa’s sheets with arms wrapped around her as they settle next to each other and drift away to sleep.

[agentdarcylewis]

FYDL D-A-T Day 9: Maybes

Charity Link Unrequited Pepper/Darcy, pre-Darcy/Jane

The face Pepper made when JARVIS told her about Tony blowing a hole in the wall of the penthouse was one Darcy had never seen on her before. And Darcy had seen many: she might not have been a scientist like Jane, but she was pretty pro at observing and remembering people’s emotions. She’d wanted to be a hypnotist when she was in 7th grade, and although she never managed to actually hypnotize someone (not for lack of trying – that had been a fun year of school), her time almost obsessively studying websites and library books about facial expressions stuck in her brain. It was part of why she’d picked poli-sci. It had made her really good at talking to others – but it also made all of her crushes sort of creepy.

Case in point: Darcy was mentally adding Pepper’s mix of rage-amusement-frustration – sort of similar to the look she wore a lot around Tony, but with less love and more surprise – to her list of 34 other Pepper-expressions. Once Pepper had excused herself to deal with the issue, Darcy pointedly went back to cataloging Jane’s science journals. Her boss, however, was looking at her with irritation. “Darcy, you really need to get over her.”

“Jane, you’re back from science-land! When was the last time you hydrated?” Darcy said, pointedly cheerful. Jane narrowed her eyes – once she set her mind to an interesting enough problem, not even coffee could tear her away. The same was true when it came to Darcy’s love life.

“Darcy, don’t even pretend like you don’t know who I’m talking about. Every time we drink you end up talking about Pepper for at least half an hour. And I’ve seen the files you have on our old laptop. “Reasons Pepper Potts Is CEO of My Soul, Part Two”? Really? Why is that even on there?”

Darcy turned and looked at her. “It’s on there ‘cause if it was on any of the work computers Tony would totally find out from JARVIS. And how did you even discover that? It was in my school folder!”

“I was looking for the data spreadsheet from last June,” Jane replied, crossing her arms. Her face was yelling “Don’t Avoid This”, and Darcy mentally prepped herself for one of Jane’s lectures. Instead, she sighed, and said, “I don’t know why you do this when you know it isn’t going to happen.”

“One, if a guy can survive for seventy years under ice, Pepper could one day realize that I’m amazing. Or she and Tony could open their relationship. Two – touché.”

If it was possible to glare at Darcy even harder, Jane would be. Her ex was still sort of a touchy subject. “I didn’t know it wasn’t going to happen. And I just – I care about you.”

Darcy looked at the lab’s clock. 5:47. She walked over to her desk, opened the bottom drawer, and took out a full bottle of foreign vodka. Jane came over and sat in her spinny chair.  Clearly, Darcy’s relationship issues were trumping science, at least for today.

“Where did you even get that? Has that been here the whole time?”

“Tony put one in like every desk in here last month. Apparently, when he gets sleep deprived enough he’s dangerous near shopping catalogues.” Darcy returned from the fridge with two mugs from the cupboard and a bottle of Sprite. She put them on the desk and Jane got to work. She was killer when it came to mixing drinks.

“Okay, I’m setting my mind to getting over Pepper Potts tonight….maybe,” Darcy allowed. She pulled up the chair from the nearest desk and watched Jane pour vodka into her constellation mug.

“Fine. Maybe,” Jane allowed, amused.

The next morning, a bleary-eyed and really hungover Darcy made her way down to the lab. Open on her desk, next to an empty bottle, was their laptop, open to a new document. Darcy sat down and, squinting against the light of the screen, scrolled to the first page. “Reasons Jane Foster is Girlfriend Material, Part One.”

I’m hurriedly typing this from an airport. I’m going to be out of the country for the rest of the drabble-a-thon, but I hope to still update. I thought of this a while back, and I kind of consider it the gate to me writing fic again. I just realized the end is a bit like this (https://agentdarcylewis.tumblr.com/post/163972419599/batmanisagatewaydrug-look-i-know-its-been-like) other post, but I think (?) I thought of that before I saw it. Also, I didn’t really look this over, so hopefully I’ll edit it later and it’s not tooo bad, lol.

Today’s charity isn’t really related. It’s UNICEF, a UN fund supporting moms and kids.

[rivkahstudies]

hi! I'm going into the pre-IB program next year, and I was wondering what you've thought about your IB experience so far and maybe some tips? x

Oh honey, bless your heart. I hope I don’t come off too cynical in saying this - I’m an IB Senior Ambassador at my school now, it’s my job to convince people to join this, but from my veteran experience I am not gonna give you the “it’s all rainbows and butterflies if you do your work on time” shtick. No, you’ll probably still cry almost as much as I did Junior year. And yet yes, yes, I still love my experience and all that I have grown as a person from it.

 Let me begin this by saying that IB is a wonderful program that exposes you to new ways of thinking and wonderful cultures, but man does it forget that we’re humans capable of stress and possibly possessing disabilities or mental illnesses. Still, despite everything I went through last year, I’d still do it over again. I’ll highlight the major points like this. Keep in mind that you don’t have to worry just yet about the full workload of IB, but you should still be prepared for this by making good habits NOW.

First of all, pre-IB is vastly different, in my experience, than IB itself. Its classes were fun, interesting, and fast-paced, just like my actual IB classes, but they workload was a thousand times easier and I never struggled through it. So, if that reassures you of what’s going to happen immediately, great!

Each school is different, of course, but in my experience pre-IB did nothing to properly prepare me for exactly how much work and how many requirements I would have to meet in one year of actual IB. We did a research paper or two a year in pre-IB and one or two a week or month in IB, and that’s not even counting the IA’s. Build good habits so you’re prepared for the actual challenge of IB, and so you breeze through pre-IB like it’s nothing.

The IA’s, by the way, are the Internal Assessments. Every class except for TOK has one, because TOK plays by its own rules. For my classes, every IA was a research paper except for Biology (which was a lab report of an experiment I need to do), Spanish (which will come next year as a 10-minute discussion in Spanish), and English (which was a 10-minute creative presentation of literary analysis of one of three books). For the love of all that is holy, when it comes to starting your IA’s in your first year of real IB, do not procrastinate.

Now, I watched a friend of mine with terrible procrastination skills make it through IB alright, but his skills suffered and it should be noted he had one extracurricular, and it was in Drama Club with me. I juggled serious responsibilities of eight different clubs and organizations, but because I didn’t procrastinate and I stayed on top of everything even when I wanted to die, I managed to stick with them all and even be elected president by my National Honor Society. My advice is, in pre-IB, to try as many clubs as you can handle that you want to be in or that benefit you, but know which ones to drop when IB rolls around. You don’t want more than 3 or 4. Make sure you have some, though, because colleges wanna see that.

Create a study and homework schedule. I didn’t do this until second semester but I always had a planner on me, and because stress and work make me forget things easily, I took to the habit of writing them in my planner, my computer, AND my calendar. Sometimes my wrist if it was very important. Be aware that pre-IB will be easier this way, but IB will need you to sometimes work during lunch or use every bit of extra class time a teacher gives you without more work.

Remember to eat and hydrate with water. Try to drink tea for caffeine instead of coffee because it’s a smaller dose and won’t get you dependent on it quickly. These seem like very obvious things but trust me, I totally stopped taking care of myself in IB. I stopped exercising, which I’m still struggling to get back into the habit of, and I often skipped meals to make it to school on time or so I could work on the mounting pile or work I have. 

Befriend your teachers. Please, for your own good. IB teachers have seen things. They have put up with a lot. They know how rigorous this is and they know what they’re kept in the dark about. But anything they are allowed to know, they will share with you if they’re worth anything as a teacher. Bond with them because you want the support and resource, not because you just want their favor. Teachers really love to see kids in the IB program that will take the initiative to fix their issues and put extra studying in rather than just whining about the circumstances of IB and their grades. I’ve seen a lot of it, trust me.

Establish a solid bedtime before midnight. I don’t know when your classes start, mine start at 9:15 and I have to be awake by 7:30 or 8. Except for the times that I had to pull all-nighters, I was always in bed by 10:30 or 11, even with all the work I had. Because your body needs sleep, for the love of all that is holy, give it sleep. You will not go very far if you don’t take care of yourself.

Don’t isolate yourself from your family, your friends, or other social things for fun. Boy did I make this mistake. Make sure you’re still alive and show your loved ones that you still care. My parents accepted that I was constantly holed up in my room to do work, but even I had to be taken to the beach or hang out with my friends if I wanted to stay sane. This shouldn’t be as much of an issue in pre-IB, so get as much social time in as you can before you have to start sacrificing it in IB, my dear.

Do not procrastinate on your CAS project in Junior/Senior year. I know you said you’re going into pre-IB so this doesn’t matter yet, but keep ideas in mind for large service projects that you start yourself. It’s part of your graduation requirement and while you can’t start it early, you shouldn’t leave it until the last minute of those two years.

Stay optimistic. I know all of this seems really scary, but IB is just a college-level workload in a high school setting. Unfortunately, that means you have 7+ classes all back-to-back giving you work that is designed to be completed with breaks between classes or days the classes aren’t on, so it’s no wonder that IB students are worked to death. However, the great thing is that IB (at least here) adds an entire point to your GPA because it’s so difficult. So I, through rigorous work and dedication, somehow managed to keep my GPA at a weighted 4.3, so it got rounded up to a maximum 5.0. 

Bless you if you decide to get a job. It’s easy in sophomore year, but I don’t know how my friends with jobs survived IB. You’ll be tired all the time, but if you’re passionate, you’ll get through it.

The good thing is that you’re entering pre-IB, which are basically just like honors courses that warm you up for IB. So my TL;DR advice is that you build good study habits and self-care habits now so that IB is extremely easy for you once it rolls around.

So a TL;DR checklist for pre-IB:

Be on time

Be ready to learn

Keep an open mind

Take care of your sweet self in body and mind

Build a good sleep schedule

Build a good study schedule

Program in breaks to your studying because you’re human

Pay attention to and bond with the teachers

Make friends, but not with people that don’t care about IB and are fine with failing

Enjoy it, because it only gets harder

Don’t get overwhelmed with the future - focus on what you’re going into now and the fact that it’s preparation

Do everything on time

Build ways to stop procrastination

Find what subjects you love

Know your limits - don’t push yourself past what you can handle

Utilize any free study time

Be nice to others and be willing to be wrong

Enjoy pre-IB while you can

I’m sorry this turned into a long, semi-cynical tirade about actual IB instead of pre-IB, but the truth is I didn’t have any trouble in pre-IB. I just suggest that you not take as many clubs on as I did and build very good habits while you can.

Thank you so much for asking me this! I love to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to IB, and I hope I didn’t scare you terribly. It’s a wonderful program and I adore it a lot, but it does test how willing you are to make yourself suffer. Luckily, I always do that if I think there’s a greater reward in it, so I’m conditioned to this by now haha. I wanted the challenge!

If you or anyone else ever needs ANYTHING with help in IB, please come to me. I am your Mama Rivkah now and I will be your shoulder to cry on, your help with studying, and your reminder that you are loved.

[tenspontaneite]

Fundamentals for the Aspiring Assassin (2/?)

Nagisa spent the rest of the day fretting quietly about his impending abduction. It turned out he needn’t have worried; it went off near-flawlessly.

He hadn’t quite managed to be as relaxed as he usually would have been on his walk home, and so he was on edge enough to notice the sound of a car stopping ominously close, out of sight in the evening gloom. Not-expecting-abduction-Nagisa wouldn’t have paid that any particular heed, though, so he kept walking with barely a glance in its direction.

He thought that, even without expecting anything, he would have been vigilant enough to notice the footsteps coming up behind him, so he allowed himself to walk a little faster. He watched shadows in the street-lights, observing the warped shadow of a taller person falling in line with his, uncomfortably close, and looked over his shoulder-

Not-trained-in-combat-Nagisa wouldn’t have known what to do about the hand which closed over his mouth, or the powerful arm that wrapped around his throat. “Mmmrph!” He made a shocked sound into his assailant’s hand, as he might have if genuinely surprised by this, and struggled as he was pulled into a choking grasp. It was difficult deciding how to struggle. He thought that he might be able to wriggle free by elbowing his assailant in the floating ribs if this were real, but he also wasn’t sure if that was something non-combat-trained-Nagisa would think to do. He went for it anyway, more weakly than he could have, and found the attack utterly ignored. Of course. He spent the following seconds flailing ineffectually and waiting for chloroform.

He’d helped Okuda make some in the lab before, with Korosensei’s supervision, so he wasn’t unfamiliar with the scent of it. He’d never had the knock-out concentration shoved in his face before, however, so he took several seconds to marvel at how much more potent it was. In the seconds after that, he didn’t really have the capacity to marvel at anything, and he was quite promptly rendered unconscious.

---

Nagisa woke in a comfortable armchair with a mild headache and lingering dizziness which could be attributed to the chloroform.

“Ah, you’re awake!” Ritsu’s voice exclaimed. He looked over and found her on his phone, which was sitting on a dark wood coffee table, along with a glass of water. “Good! I’ll let Karasuma-sensei know.”

“Ritsu-chan.” He slowly straightened in the chair, finding himself in perfectly good condition. “I take it there were no problems, then?”

“Well, we think that someone saw Karasuma-sensei taking you, so your abduction might end up on the news.” She said, matter-of-fact, as though this wasn’t a potentially mortifying piece of information. “But it hardly matters, since Karasuma-sensei left no evidence.”

Nagisa stared incredulously at her. “It matters to me!”

Phone-Ritsu waved her hand dismissively. “Ah, this is nothing. Even if it does end up on TV, you’ll have memories of much worse soon.” Her eye gave off a deliberate glint. “Imagine how it would be if everyone found out that class E were Korosensei’s hostages, and the press were all following you around trying for interviews. Wouldn’t that be so much worse?”

“That…isn’t reassuring.” He managed, desperately hoping that such a situation was hypothetical. “Did that really happen?”

She smiled. It looked quite similar to one of his own, actually – she was much better at facial expressions now. “I couldn’t possibly say!” He glowered at her, which only seemed to make her preen.

“Nagisa-kun.” A familiar voice cut in, Karasuma stepping forwards from the left-most door. “How are you feeling?”

“Ah, Karasuma-sensei.” Nagisa blinked owlishly at him. “I’m fine. Only a little headache.” He paused, and added “You kidnapped me very well. I couldn’t do anything.”

A slightly sour look came upon the man’s face. “Aa. Well, I never thought I would have to train you all against kidnapping attempts, which might have been overly optimistic of me.” A brief silence. “You might have been able to get free if you had been truly trying.”

Nagisa dipped his head, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. It was nice that his instructor had noticed. “I didn’t want to seem too good at fighting, just in case there were witnesses.”

“Good judgement, especially considering there was at least one witness.” Karasuma sighed at that. “Well, at any rate, there weren’t any better moments, so I suppose we’ll just have to deal with the fallout as necessary.” He gestured abruptly towards the glass of water. “You should hydrate now. I’ll get you some food.” Without any further word, he turned and headed back through the door he’d come from. Now that Nagisa was paying attention, he could smell food.

“Karasuma-sensei is very considerate.” Ritsu chirped. “While you were unconscious, he visited a store to stock up on rations for you. He even bought some multivitamins, which will be a real help!”

Nagisa smiled in the direction of the door. “Karasuma-sensei is quite a considerate person.” He agreed, reaching out for the glass of water and taking a long gulp. “…have you spoken to the rest of the class, yet?”

“I have. Once they were off the mountain and Korosensei was far away enough, I spoke to them all using moving text on their screens so no one would hear anything, or have any evidence for police to find.” The pink-haired avatar seemed exceptionally cheerful at that. “They’d been gossiping, of course. By the time I spoke to them they’d all heard that a time-travelling scientist had sent the case to you. I told them all that you would be taking on an experimental procedure to help you learn lots of new information very quickly, which is of course true.”

He took a moment to absorb that, draining a little more of the large glass. “So, you didn’t tell them that it was me who sent the case?”

“I didn’t even confirm the time-travel part. It’s best if some people don’t find that out before you can control their reactions.”

Nagisa stared at her. “That sounds a little ominous.”

Ritsu pouted. “It might be. We also decided that anyone who ends up helping you during this will have to be the people who sometimes skip class. Karma-kun, of course, along with Terasaka, Yoshida, and Muramatsu. Students like Nakamura, Maehara, and Okajima, for whom it wouldn’t be out-of-character to skip, will also be in rotation.” After a pause, she continued “Of course, you might not end up needing supervision. Sensei has given me access to his security cameras and security system, so we might be secure enough.”

“…He has security cameras?”

“And a secret escape tunnel! That’s how he brought you in.”

So, Karasuma-sensei was quite paranoid about his security? It fit him. Nagisa wasn’t very surprised. “Will the others be coming that way, if they have to?”

“…Probably? It could be bad for Karasuma-sensei’s image if his students are seen visiting his house.”

“I would rather not end up with that sort of gossip, no.” Their instructor confirmed dryly, reappearing with unsettlingly impeccable stealth. Nagisa controlled his reaction and did not startle, looking up from the chair. His abductor and host had returned with a bowl and chopsticks in hand, as well as…pills? “Here, Nagisa-kun. Some vegetables with rice, and some multivitamins. Ritsu claims they will be useful for keeping you healthy and assuring a swift recovery.”

“Thank you, sensei.” Gingerly, Nagisa took the bowl, and then the chopsticks and pills. He settled the bowl in his lap and inspected the two white pills. “I thought you were only meant to take one a day?”

“The extra nutrients will likely be needed, Nagisa-kun.” Ritsu informed him, almost apologetically. “That’s why your dinner is quite big today. If you have difficulty keeping food down over the next few days, it will be best for you to have started off well.”

Nagisa blinked, wordlessly downing the pills with a quick gulp of water. “I might have trouble keeping food down?” He asked, taking his chopsticks in hand.

Karasuma-sensei settled into a chair beside his. “Ritsu claims that you’re likely to run a fever, and probably experience nausea. Apparently, despite the immunosuppressants, your body is still likely to react to the procedure negatively.”

He nodded slowly, making a start on his uncomfortably large portion. He swallowed a mouthful of rice. “Ritsu-chan,” He said, gathering another clump of sticky rice on the ends of his chopsticks. “Now that I’m here, and it’s too late for me to back out, can you tell me more about the procedure?”

Before Ritsu could answer, Karasuma cut in. “Depending on how weak your stomach is, you may want to wait until after you’ve eaten.” He said, forebodingly.

Nagisa looked despairingly into the bowl, and nodded. “…Aa.” Quietly, he set to work on his dinner, and didn’t ask for more information.

---

Karasuma-sensei had quite a nice house. It wasn’t very traditional, except for the presence of a kotatsu in the sitting room and a house shrine in one of the halls, but the comfortable chairs and dark wood furniture everywhere made for a very pleasant effect. Nagisa refrained from asking or commenting about anything, though – Karasuma-sensei was a very private person, and he probably wouldn’t appreciate it. Nagisa was grateful enough to the man for opening his home to him for this.

“To limit the amount you’ll have to move during this all, I’ve moved the spare futon downstairs for you.” Karasuma explained, showing him around the downstairs of the house. “That way you can get to the downstairs bathroom, and the kitchen, without having to use any stairs or having to walk very far.”

Nagisa nodded mechanically through all of the demonstrations and explanations, feeling quite overwhelmed by the care being taken for him. His instructor was going to such an effort for him, on such short notice, and…well, he wasn’t used to that sort of consideration. It was only Korosensei, and now Karasuma-sensei, who had gone to such trouble to support him. He wasn’t sure what to say.

In the end, once his host had shown him where all the food was in the fridge, and explained the locations of the bottled water he was expected to keep at the bedside, Nagisa only said “Thank you, sensei.” There was an extreme of gratitude where it became difficult to say much more, and he’d reached it.

Karasuma, a direct man who didn’t speak unless it was for a useful purpose, seemed to understand well enough. He inclined his head, expression softening very slightly. If Nagisa were slightly less observant, he might have missed the edge of sympathy.

The sympathy was sort of warranted in this case.

“Since you won’t have the chance to for a while, please feel free to take a shower.” He said, having already explained where the towels and soaps could be found.

Nagisa nodded. The headset, after all, was a very advanced piece of technology, and wouldn’t do well if doused in water. As such, he wouldn’t be able to wash his hair or scalp until the procedure was finished. “I think I will, sensei.” He accepted politely, and was promptly left to it by his very accommodating instructor. He returned to the bathroom, sans Ritsu-phone, and swiftly located a towel and the antibacterial soap that Ritsu had recommended.

It always felt weird to shower in unfamiliar places, but Nagisa had more than enough to distract him. Ritsu had explained everything he could expect for the procedure, and he fully understood why she’d waited until now to do so. He wasn’t sure he’d have had the nerve to go through with it otherwise.

The headset, as it happened, would be drilling into his spine. There, as well as into his bloodstream, it would inject highly sophisticated nanomachines and chemicals that, in concert with the signals put out by the headset, would essentially rewire his brain. Since there wasn’t room in the case for a full-body manipulator, what the nanomachines could do in his spine was limited, so his peripheral nervous system would end up out of whack with his brain. As such, he could expect to have difficulty coordinating his body and moving as he intended for a while after the procedure.

It was the chemicals, as opposed to the nanomachines, that his immune system was likely to object to. Even with a lessened response, the treatment would likely make him feel quite ill. He was to expect fever, nausea, and probably delirium. These were among the least of the side effects he might experience, however.

During the five-hour active cycles, Nagisa would be unconscious. The headset would be inducing partial paralysis to prevent him from moving and potentially disrupting the treatment, which was a very unpleasant sensation. In addition, the active neural rewiring would apparently cause an exceptionally unpleasant headache, with the potential for severe phantom pain throughout his entire body. Nagisa didn’t technically have to be unconscious for the active cycles, but given the pain and the paralysis, it was certainly for the best.

Even during the recovery cycles, things would be unpleasant. For one, the pain would linger, though the medication ought to mitigate that. Since the procedure was a process, he was likely to be exceptionally confused and uncoordinated. He might have difficulty reconciling different timelines, experience powerful flashbacks, or any manner of memory-related symptom. Due to the differing capabilities of his future and current bodies, he was also probably going to have difficulty integrating sensory information for a while, and might experience periods where he didn’t have control of his body at all. Ritsu’s main concern was that he might either be too incoherent to care for himself, or that he would be physically incapable of it.

If at any point he showed himself as unable to take his medication, the classmate skipping schedule would be implemented. In the interests of Karasuma’s privacy, Ritsu wouldn’t be telling any of them where to go unless that became necessary. If asked about their absence, they’d admit to looking for Nagisa, which was a perfectly reasonable thing for fellow assassination classmates to skip class for. Korosensei would probably approve.

And…there was the thing. The main concern.

Nagisa stepped out of the shower, pulling the towel to his skin. The only hairdryer Karasuma owned was a tiny travel-sized thing, which was probably sufficient for short hair, but would be a pain for his. Still, he couldn’t afford to get water in the headset, so…

Sighing, he set to work thoroughly drying his long hair, all the while hoping that none of his classmates would give the game away. Surely, no one would expect Karasuma-sensei to do any abducting, right? He should be the last suspect on anyone’s mind. But, then again, Korosensei was very sharp, even if he didn’t tend to show it. If the members of class E gave any indication, he would notice.

It was quite late by the time he finished drying his hair and dressed again, leaving the bathroom with fluffier hair than he was used to, since he didn’t tend to use a hairdryer often. It tickled at his neck as he walked through the hall to the sitting room he’d be spending most of the next six or more days in, finding Karasuma-sensei waiting in an armchair.

“You’re done. Good.” The man said, in lieu of a greeting. He stood and presented Nagisa with a pair of elastic bands. “These aren’t the best thing to tie hair with, but there’s no metal.”

“Make sure not to tie it up like you usually do, Nagisa-kun. Your hair shouldn’t be too thick on your skull, if possible.” Ritsu informed. “Keep it clear of the back of your neck, too. It could obstruct the spinal taps, otherwise.”

Nagisa inspected the bands, running through options in his mind. He sighed. “So, basically, pigtails.”

“Or twin braids. That would definitely keep it out of the way.” The avatar nodded brightly.

He made a face. “Couldn’t I make a single braid, and just push it to the side?”

Ritsu pondered his query for a very brief second. “That could work, yes!” She agreed, and promptly disappeared from the screen. What appeared was a step-by-step animated diagram of how to braid one’s own hair. He stared at it in mild terror, never having attempted anything of the sort before. “…”

“It’s easy! Just follow these steps!” Ritsu encouraged.

Nagisa exhaled, and then reached for his hair. “Show me from the beginning, Ritsu-chan?”

“Of course!”

Following her directions, he managed to wrangle his hair into an uneven and messy plait, tying it at the end with one of the elastic bands he’d been provided with. Ritsu provided him his reflection through use of the front camera of his phone, and he concluded that it didn’t look as mortifying as pigtails would have…but he still sincerely hoped that neither Karma nor Nakamura would end up having to come help him. They’d certainly take pictures. “This will do, I suppose.”

Karasuma might have looked vaguely amused. It was hard to tell on him – he seemed to entirely lack a sense of humour, most of the time. “Are you ready to begin?” He checked his watch. “It’s almost 1am.”

Nagisa grimaced, and flipped the braid around down the side of his neck. He most certainly was not ready, but he doubted he’d ever be more prepared. “I am.” He lied, calmly, and approached the large time-travelling suitcase that was situated a short distance from his futon. He opened the first lock, but when the panel sprung up, the second stayed in place with his fingerprint. He frowned. “Ritsu-chan?”

“Sorry, now that the case has been opened once, additional security protocols are in place. Different compartments now require a code to open, which changes every 20 seconds. Please type the following numbers: 2, 6, 7, 2, 1, 4, 6, 9, 0, 5, 6, 7, 9, 0, 3.”

He jabbed at the number keys quickly, the fifteenth digit causing the lock to release so quickly that the compartment lid almost smacked him in the face. It seemed like a fairly good system – without being in communication with Ritsu, there was no way that anyone could get into the suitcase, and she was probably too advanced for anyone to hack at this point in time. Fifteen digits was also too long for anyone to discover by trial and error in twenty seconds, even assuming Ritsu didn’t take offence at the attempts and detonate the case. His future self hadn’t been messing around.

Nagisa wondered, taking the headset in hand, what else he’d put in here, for it to be so ruthlessly protected.

“Once a day, the headset’s supply of the nanomachine-chemical mix will need to be refilled from the bottles.” Ritsu explained as he removed all of the bottles and cylinders. “You can do it yourself, even with the headset on, but it might be easier for Karasuma-sensei to do it when he’s home. It’s important to make sure it doesn’t run out during an active cycle, as nanomachine levels may need to be adjusted quickly during this time.”

“I can take care of that.” Karasuma acknowledged. “How do I do it?”

“On the left side, there is a hole with a small light above it. You inject the solution into the hole using the syringe until the red light turns green. It will need filling first-thing.” Karasuma, following her directions, took the bottles and syringes from Nagisa, also relieving him of the cylinders. As though anticipating another question, Ritsu continued. “Nagisa-kun, you should take your painkillers twice a day, at least six hours apart. I will remind you if you forget. Your immunosuppressants should be taken once a day, with food.”

“Then, I can help with the immunosuppressants as well.”

“Thank you, Karasuma-sensei.” Nagisa murmured, in what was beginning to feel a hollow expression of gratitude. All this effort, being put into his care…he would need to get a gift for the man to thank him, afterwards. After a pause for hesitation, he put the headset on, pulling his braid out of the way of the neck brace. “Should I press the button now?”

“Pressing the button will engage the neck brace, and also make the helmet fit itself on. I have full control of the headset and won’t begin the cycle until you’re all ready.”

He took that as a ‘yes’, and reached up to press the button on the middle of his forehead. The neck brace twined around his throat, the two sections sealing together, and he pulled stray bits of messy hair out of it while it undulated unsettlingly into the right fit. He took a deep breath, and lowered himself into the futon, feeling the inside of the headset swell against his skull.

The headset would tap his spine at the base of his neck and the base of his skull. Both of these places couldn’t have too much pressure on them, so he had to lay on his side, the weight of the headset carefully supported by numerous pillows. Feeling tense and awkward, Nagisa positioned himself how he’d been told to, and looked to the side.

“Nagisa-kun. Can you reach the water bottles?” Ritsu asked, as Karasuma put her on the floor a short distance away, beside the three bottles of water that had been left there.

He reached out, and found he could easily grasp both the phone and the bottles. “It’s fine.”

Karasuma put three cylinders beside the phone; one plastic, two metal. “It seems the immunosuppressants are in red and yellow capsules, while the painkillers are in blue capsules.” He informed. “They should be easy to tell apart. Can you take them from this position?”

Nagisa took a bottle of water, opened it, and swallowed experimentally. “I don’t think so.”

“Then sit up. You can take your first pills now.”

He did as directed, accepting a single red-and-yellow capsule first and swallowing it down, followed by the blue one. They were both quite sizeable – he didn’t think he’d had to take such large pills before. “Anything else?”

“Hold still while I inject the solution.” Karasuma opened one of the metal bottles. It had the sort of nozzle which wouldn’t spill if knocked over, and a very small opening. Nagisa watched as he poked the needle through and pulled on the plunger, a pale yellow fluid filling the syringe. He kept unmoving as his teacher located the area on the left side of the headset, injecting it apparently without fuss. He did this twice more before the headset was satisfied.

“That’s enough to fill it, sensei.” Ritsu said, quite professionally. “Nagisa-kun, we can begin now. Please lay down.”

Nagisa breathed past his nerves and, wordlessly, obliged. Once he was carefully situated on his right side, as comfortable as he could manage, he said “Is this okay?”

“That’s fine, Nagisa-kun. The headset will electrically stimulate your brain to induce unconsciousness soon. After that, you will be immobilised, and your spine will be tapped. In around twenty minutes, the active cycle will be ready to begin. Once the cycle is complete, the spinal taps will remain, and the muscles in your neck will remain stiff to prevent movement, so please don’t be alarmed when you wake.”

Nagisa peered, as best he could, at her avatar. He thought she seemed a little anxious. “…You’re not sure whether this will work, are you?”

There was a telling pause. “It should, but we can’t guarantee it. There’s lots of data taken from all sorts of patients, and I’ll be directing the process every step of the way. But we can’t guarantee anything.”

A highly risky experimental procedure, to be sure. Even though he felt sick with fear, Nagisa refused to let it show. He went carefully, calculatingly blank, staring impassively at Karasuma-sensei as he kneeled down to look him in the eyes.

“Good luck, Nagisa-kun.” His teacher said, serious and solemn. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He exhaled. “Thank you, sensei.” A pause. “…Do it, Ritsu.”

There was a slight, sharp pain in his head-

---

“-any minute now, since I’m no longer forcing unconsciousness. With luck, the painkiller will be effective enough that he doesn’t feel the spinal tap too badly.”

“And his mental state?”

“…Impossible to say, sensei. He’s one-sixth of the way through the active changes, but…”

“I see.”

The voices were quiet, and both of them familiar. Each word throbbed like agony in his head, overwhelmingly familiar. Why did everything hurt? When was the last time he’d been in this much pain?

“…Scans indicate he is regaining consciousness. Nagisa. Please respond.”

The name drew him from a pained stupor, just enough for him to open his eyes. As soon as he did, he regretted it – the light made pain flare through his head, dizzyingly, sickeningly intense. He closed them again. “…Ritsu?” he croaked, and…what was wrong with his voice? “…Ritsu. What...what’s wrong with me?”

“You are wearing the neural reprogramming headset, Nagisa. One sixth of the changes have been made. What do you remember?”

He…remembered…

What?

He couldn’t think.

“…Nagisa?” She sounded worried. “Can you open your eyes?”

The light hurt. But pain was only pain. Pain was trivial. Nagisa opened his eyes, light distorting horribly through the blaring agony it induced in his head. He saw a floor, with an array of objects. A phone with Ritsu on it, stood up against a bottle of water. There were several bottles of water. There were also several medication cylinders which he remembered filling.

There was also a man. Too young, and too alive.

“…Karasuma?” He murmured, squinting through the visual distortion.

“Yes, Nagisa-kun. How are you feeling?”

Nagisa stared through half-open eyes. “…Horrible?”

“Can you sit up?”

He blinked. Of course he could sit up. Why would anyone think otherwise? He…

He couldn’t sit up. Why?

There was the intention to sit up, he tried to do it, but…it didn’t happen. “I don’t think I can.” He murmured, quite distraught at the realisation.

“Can you move your fingers and toes, Nagisa?”

He could see a hand in front of him. It was oddly smooth-looking. He concentrated, and the fingertips twitched, curled inwards. The grip was too weak. He couldn’t see his feet, but he could…feel? He could feel them. The toes moved when he tried to move them, he felt them curling over fabric. His fingers curled on fabric. The texture, the feeling-

“I can.” He said.

“I’ll help you up, Nagisa-kun.” A man said, reaching forwards. Nagisa looked at him in alarm, identifying his features with disbelief.

“Karasuma?” He blurted, headache pounding in his ears. “Is that you?”

“…Yes, Nagisa-kun. You asked that a minute ago.” He looked concerned. Nagisa had seen a lot of Karasuma being concerned, it had been a frequent state of being for the man. “Do you not remember?”

“Remember what?” He blinked, and saw Karasuma-sensei. He glanced around, finding his hand splayed out in front of him, his phone propped up with Ritsu looking out of the screen, and all of the things that had been laid out before he was knocked out. “…Karasuma-sensei?” He questioned, discovering worry in the lines of his face, and wondering at it. “Did something go wrong with the procedure?”

Karasuma looked at the phone, and she spoke up. “…I don’t think so, Nagisa. You’ve been showing a degree of confusion and mental incapacitation which is probably to be expected at this stage. While you’re still lucid, please eat and drink something.”

His instructor leaned forwards to help him up. Nagisa wasn’t sure why, until he discovered that he couldn’t sit up on his own. “…Sensei. I can’t sit up.” Panic crept into his voice, no matter how he tried to hold it back.

“I think that’s normal, Nagisa-kun.” The man said, solemnly, holding out a bottle of water as he held him up by the shoulders. Nagisa reached out and closed his fingers around the bottle, weakly, finding that his neck was too stiff to move. But, Ritsu had told him about that, hadn’t she?

Carefully, he opened the water and drank, as much as he could. He put the lid back on the bottle and looked at it, bizarrely confused by the sight of it, the bottle two-thirds empty. His fingers were wrapped around the plastic and it felt…not right. It was smooth, a little cold, and the sensations were far too simple. He tried to flex his spine and nothing happened.

“You should take some vitamins.” A familiar voice said, and Nagisa looked up. It…looked like Karasuma.

“Karasuma?” He said, disbelievingly. “But you’re dead.”

The man’s eyebrows went up, something like shock flashing over his face. “…I’m perfectly alive, Nagisa-kun. You’re very confused at the moment.” He said, and held out two white pills. “Please take these.”

Nagisa accepted the pills into his hand, but couldn’t stop staring. “I’m quite sure you’re dead, Karasuma.” He argued, knocking back the pills. The taste of them was…simple. Dull. He could barely smell anything, either.

“I am not dead, Nagisa-kun.” Karasuma informed him, holding out…a cereal bar? He hadn’t seen that brand in decades. And since when did anywhere still manufacture this sort of thing, anyway? This certainly wasn’t a ration bar.

“I’ve not had a cereal bar since I was….forty? Fifty?” Nagisa muttered, immensely confused, as he accepted it. He opened it and confirmed that it was, in fact, a cereal bar. It tasted like he remembered cereal bars tasting, too. He inhaled the thing, suddenly ravenous, and looked up.

“There’s more if you want.” Not-dead-Karasuma claimed, and made good on his word. Nagisa snatched it eagerly, fingers feeling too-solid and too-weak around its plastic wrapper.

He put one wrapper aside and opened another. He took one bite of the cereal bar, and was chewing through it when he noticed the hand supporting his shoulders. He looked up, blinking. “Sensei?”

Karasuma-sensei seemed worried, still. “Nagisa-kun.”

“When did I wake up?”

“About five minutes ago.” Ritsu answered for him. He looked over to find her on his phone, propped up by a bottle of water, the charging cable connected. “You’ve been confused and disorientated enough that it might be best to put you out for another few hours.”

Nagisa blinked, finishing the cereal bar. He politely put the wrapper aside next to another one he didn’t remember eating. “That’s a little unnerving.” He said, certain that he’d ordinarily be very worried over not remembering the last five minutes, but…it was hard enough to concentrate, let alone worry.

“You’ve eaten, had some water, and taken some vitamins.” Karasuma informed him. “I have to leave for the satellite campus soon, so I won’t be here the next time you wake up.”

“…Okay?” He offered.

“I’ll help you back down.”

Nagisa observed as he was lowered carefully down onto a futon. “Thank you, sensei.” He said.

“You’re welcome, Nagisa-kun.”

---

“Nagisa? Can you hear me? Are you awake?”

Nagisa was in a lot of pain. Pain could be dealt with, though. It could be ignored. “…Ritsu?” He inquired, opening his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“This is the second time you have woken since your first active neural reprogramming cycle. You should drink some water, and take your painkiller. Can you sit up?”

He could feel his back, feel the muscles in it, but they…they weren’t right. He tried to flex his spine and couldn’t. He tried to extend and nothing happened. “It doesn’t feel right.” His arms felt different, too, but less so. He moved the hand he could see in front of him and used it to push himself up. “What’s wrong with my back, Ritsu?”

“It’s a normal human back, Nagisa. It will probably feel very strange for a while. Please take your painkiller.”

Nagisa blinked, absorbing her words, and looked at the pill cylinders he’d assembled. He reached for the nearest and found the blue capsules in it, extracting one and swallowing it dry. He finished off a bottle of water for good measure. “I’m…part way through the neural reprogramming. Aren’t I?”

Ritsu brightened. “You are. Are you feeling more focused now?”

“I…think so? Was I not, before?”

“You woke up earlier today and couldn’t keep your memories consistent. I think it’s normal.”

“Things feel…disconnected.” Nagisa murmured, finding that his headache became blinding when he tried to remember specific events, or how he’d got here. He looked at his hands – the right size, but too young. He slowly, carefully, engaged the muscles in his abdomen, marvelling at the odd rigidity of the flesh. “This feels weird, Ritsu. I think I’d like to be knocked out, now.”

“If you like, Nagisa. Please lay down again for me.”

He settled into the futon and waited for unconsciousness.

---

“Karasuma?” he blinked up at the man. “Aren’t you dead?”

His dead former instructor sighed at him.

---

Nagisa became most lucid, coincidentally, not too long before he was due to go under again. “I kept forgetting things, didn’t I?” He commented, a bowl of stir fry in his lap, on the futon.

“You varied between being convinced I was dead and being your…base self.” Karasuma confirmed, eyes quite focused on him. “Are you feeling any better?”

He chewed and swallowed a mouthful of food, torn between sensations. On one hand, it tasted good, and satisfying. On another, the texture and taste both seemed oddly flat, as though muffled by a cold. “I’m less confused, at least.” He looked up, uncomfortable. “Sensei, I think I remember you being dead, in the future.”

“I did guess, by the third time you told me I was dead.” The man remarked dryly.

“Did I say anything else?” Nagisa asked, collecting a clump of noodles and vegetables onto the chopsticks. His fingers felt brittle and rigid, his skin…dull. Textures didn’t feel right. “I can remember some things, but none of it is…I’m not sure.”

“The brain is very complex, Nagisa. Until everything is finished, nothing will be seamless.”

“It won’t be seamless even then, Ritsu. I was there for the planning.” He retorted, and blinked. “…Hm.”

Karasuma lifted an eyebrow. “You remember?”

“A little.” He took another mouthful, intent on the wrongness of his senses, the strangeness of his flesh. He swallowed, and said “I think my body was very different, in the future. Everything feels wrong.”

“You did mention being forty or fifty as though it were a long time ago.” Karasuma pointed out. “You must have been quite old.”

Something about the statement felt off, but it was also true. “Aa. I was old.” He glanced at his phone. “Can’t you say how old I was? I’m already under the procedure.”

Ritsu giggled, secretively. “That wouldn’t be as fun.” She claimed cheerfully.

Nagisa finished off his dinner and rubbed at his face. “If you say so.” He sighed, and carefully tried to stand up. He had to think about every part of the movement. “Do you think this difficulty with my body will get better?”

Ritsu frowned. “Ah…no, it will probably get worse.”

Nagisa grimaced. “Ah. Well…” He handed his bowl to Karasuma, bowing slowly. “Thanks for the meal, sensei. Sorry for not helping.”

“You’re basically undergoing brain surgery, Nagisa-kun.” The man commented, unperturbed. “I don’t expect you to do a single chore while you’re here.”

He bowed again, grateful beyond words. “…I think I’m going to go to the bathroom, before I go back under.” He said, feeling distinctly unwashed and in need of the facilities. “I won’t be long.” He walked unsteadily down the hall, finding the correct door and setting to work with his sponge bath.

Nagisa stared at himself in the mirror, the sight of the headset unbelievably strange. Its dark metal looked distinctly like something from science fiction, especially with the brace wrapped around his neck. A brace which made it quite difficult to wash properly, since he couldn’t move his head or neck much at all.

He finished eventually, drying off. He took a few moments to re-braid the exposed hair, slightly better at it with a mirror available. The dull pain of the spinal taps accompanied every movement.

Once finished, he got back into the same slightly smelly clothes and returned to the sitting room, bending carefully to take his immunosuppressant and painkiller. “More multivitamins, too?”

“It’s a good idea.” Ritsu confirmed, twirling virtual hair around a finger.

Nagisa nodded, frowning as he tried to remember. “The nanomachines,” He murmured, taking two multivitamins in hand. “They’re…artificially producing medication, aren’t they?”

“That’s right!” At Karasuma-sensei’s curious look, she elaborated. “Most of the nanomachines are acting directly on the brain and nervous system, but some are manufacturing biological compounds that we couldn’t send through time, because they count as alive. For example, there are numerous drugs developed in the future to help the brain recover from injury, as well as things to help the brain form connections more quickly. They’re invaluable for the process!” She beamed. “Those compounds are acting during the recovery cycle, helping to integrate the changes made in the active hours.”

“So, I’ll be worst each time I wake from an active cycle?” He checked, receiving a nod. “Well, I suppose I’d best get to it quickly, in case there are any troubles in the morning.”

“Do you feel ill yet, Nagisa?”

He took stock of his physical condition, frowning. “It’s hard to say. I feel dizzy, and my head hurts, but I don’t feel nauseous.”

Karasuma extended a hand to his forehead, quite suddenly. The abrupt movement triggered a reflex that felt like it should have engaged his back, but nothing happened. Perhaps for the best; it didn’t feel like a very friendly reflex. “You feel a little warm, so perhaps the fever is starting to come on.” The instructor observed. “You might feel worse in the morning.”

Nagisa sighed, and nodded. Once the hand withdrew, he stood by to allow Karasuma to refill the nanomachine solution, laying down once he’d finished. “Goodnight, sensei, Ritsu.” He said, watching his host’s expression soften slightly again. Nagisa smiled, as always pleased to find signs that the taciturn man genuinely cared.

“Goodnight, Nagisa-kun.” Karasuma said, shortly before the headset engaged.

---

“Calm down!” The man barked, as if he expected him to listen, when he was saying it wearing that face!

Nagisa tried to reach out and strangle, tried with every limb, but only four responded. What had he been drugged with? Since when had anyone developed a drug that could take him out? Since when were people sending clones of his team after him, for god’s sake-

He cast his eyes around furiously, but didn’t find anything that looked like a weapon. The bottles were plastic or thin and metallic, the cylinders were worthless, there was…

Nagisa’s hand shot out, far more slowly than it should have, and closed around a syringe. He lunged upwards, neck immobilised, but the rest of his slow, rigid muscles responding well enough as he forced them. He dodged under the arm that came out to force him down, fighting against a pounding headache and his vision swimming as he surged up, up, bringing his arm around-

A hand gripped his millimetres from victory, and Nagisa screamed wordlessly at him, furious and terrified and enraged, his drug-induced weakness acting against him. He couldn’t even force a needle into a human man’s neck. What had they given him?

“You’re not thinking clearly,” The impostor tried to say, pulling his wrist around into a lock that shouldn’t have worked. He was so rigid, completely inflexible.

Nagisa bit back the things he wanted to shout at this horrible, abominable captor. He was captive, and weakened. Fine. There was no need to lose his mind along with his strength. He went pliant in the man’s grip, feeling subtly for weaknesses in the lock.

“…Nagisa-kun?”

He twitched, and kept calculatingly silent. He couldn’t hear Ritsu. He glanced around, finding the bewildering sight of an absurdly luxurious living room, and a futon, and a…

Nagisa frowned. A large metal suitcase, the middle compartment open and empty. He tried to twitch his neck, paying closer attention to the heaviness of his head, the feeling that his throat was wrapped around with something firm, and twin points of dull pain on the back of his neck…

A neural reprogramming headset?

He allowed his muscles to go lax, genuinely now, rather than as a ruse. “…Ritsu?” He called. Surely, if their plans had worked, she wouldn’t have allowed him to be undergoing the procedure without her supervision?

“Nagisa! Are you finally listening to me?”

His eyes followed the voice to an old mobile phone. Her avatar was on the front of it, looking somewhat panicked. “…Ritsu.” He said, quietly. “We made it?”

Her simulated features loosened into a sad, soft smile. “We did, Nagisa-kun. You’re a third of the way through the procedure.”

Nagisa breathed, slowly, and allowed the syringe to fall from his hand. Cautiously, the man behind him released the wrist lock, and stepped away. Nagisa unfurled, orienting himself towards the spectre he’d thought a cruel weapon engineered specifically to destroy him. “…then, you’re Karasuma?” The thought curled, painfully, like a sickle between his ribs.

The once-head of the Ministry of Defence nodded. “I am.”

He looked at the futon, violently disrupted by the struggle, and bent to rearrange it. “I’m glad. I’m sorry for…that.” He wasn’t sure how he’d come to be here, or why he was being supervised by Karasuma when they’d expected to muddle through in whatever hole they could find, but he was grateful.

“It’s no problem.” The man watched him for several seconds. “Ritsu didn’t mention the possibility of violent delusions.”

Nagisa’s head dipped, troubled. “We weren’t aware it might get so bad.”

“You should take your pills and such quickly, Nagisa-kun, in case you relapse.” Ritsu urged him, and he glanced over at the assorted cylinders.

“If it’s after an active cycle…the painkiller?”

“The painkiller, food, and water. And multivitamins.” Karasuma corrected.

Nagisa smiled, a little hollowly. “Of course.” He murmured, and reached out to begin. He swallowed down his painkiller with a gulp of the water provided.

“We had planned for our classmates to help you through the treatment if necessary, but I’m not sure that’s safe anymore.” Ritsu fretted. “If you react like that with one of them…”

He grimaced, and nodded. He eyed the high-energy cereal bars that had been presented to him with a roiling stomach, and forced them down regardless. “Make sure to knock me out if someone vulnerable comes here.” He said, softly, as he laid himself down. “I won’t risk hurting anyone.”

“I’ll remove sharp objects from the area before I leave.” Karasuma stated, sensibly.

Nagisa looked around the room, as best he could from his position. “Good idea.”

---

“I’m hallucinating.” Nagisa said, to himself, ignoring the pleas of what sounded like his friend. “Everything. It’s all a hallucination.” His vision tilted crazily and he gripped onto the edge of the doorframe to stay up.

“There’s no hallucination, Nagisa! Listen to me, or I’ll have to knock you out!”

“You’re not Ritsu. Ritsu wouldn’t need to use a phone to talk to me. You’re an imitation.” He pointed out, cold and calm. He was weak, and couldn’t walk well, and couldn’t use his abilities, but he wasn’t locked in. He wasn’t even restrained. It was laughable.

He had only to get out, get back to his base…

The place was structured like a house, wood floors and furniture everywhere, ludicrously opulent. It even had a wooden front door. He staggered for it, unwavering. Escape would be easy, if his captors had been so lax-

He stopped, seeing a glimpse of the outer area through a small window in the hallway.

It…looked…

The cruelty of the hallucination seized him by the throat. His head swam. Aware that he was about to lose consciousness, Nagisa lowered himself down into a favourable position for falling-

---

“…Ritsu? Why am I in the hallway?” he called, not sure where she was. The reply came from down the hall.

“You freaked out, Nagisa. Quick, get back to the futon, have some water. I don’t think you should be awake much today, you might damage the headset.”

---

When Ritsu woke him late on the second day, his thoughts were hard to keep track of. He’d spent the day vacillating freely between confusion, delirium, and violent hysteria. Or so he’d been told, when he asked why he’d been tied up.

“I’m sorry to treat you like this, Nagisa-kun.” Karasuma apologised, clearly troubled. “Ritsu woke you a couple of hours ago, when I got in, and I had to restrain you then.”

Nagisa’s fingers twitched in their bonds, tied behind his back at the wrists. He thought, heart sinking, of the violent rages that his mother was prone to. “…I don’t mind, sensei.” He said, finally. “Have I eaten yet?”

“No, nor have you taken your medication.” The man scrutinised him carefully. “We should get that done quickly, while you’re coherent.”

Nagisa nodded, resigning himself to the indignity of being fed, and watched his host get up and head to the kitchen. “...How is it going, Ritsu?”

“The procedure is as expected, though your symptoms have been worse than we expected.” She replied, softly. “I’m grateful to Karasuma-sensei. We were wrong – we wouldn’t have been able to do this alone.”

He nodded, sighing. “Aa.”

---

Nagisa woke to complete agony.

His head, his eyes, absolutely everything – it-

He screamed, pain and fear seizing his thoughts and strangling them, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move-

…he, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t move, why, why

“Nagisa! Please, focus!”

…Ritsu?

He closed his mouth, the only thing he seemed able to control, except – his eyes? He could open them – it was dark. Night time. The lights weren’t on. “…Ritsu?” He croaked. “What…?”

“I woke you during your active cycle, Nagisa, I’m sorry.” He moved his eyes sideways, seeing her tearful avatar in the periphery. “It’s…a bit of an emergency.”

“KA. RA. SU. MA….!”

The sound of it could have brought the roof down, it was loud. Nagisa groaned, the sheer volume of it agonising. But, it was…who was it? It was…

Close by. Familiar.

“I NEVER EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU, KARASUMA. HOW DARE YOU?”

That voice!

“Ritsu…that’s…” He managed.

“It’s not what you think.” He heard Karasuma’s voice, sounding thin and brittle. Choked, even.

“He’s a CHILD!” The voice all but howled, rage and murder dripping from every syllable. He could see something dark writhing in the corner of his vision, long shadows whipping in the gloom.

He hadn’t heard that voice in a long, long time. Not outside of Ritsu’s recordings. He’d almost forgotten it. Except…of course he hadn’t, he’d only heard it a couple of days ago. Oh, he was confused.

“…Korosensei?” He asked, softly.

The movement of the shadows stilled. There was a harsh, heavy thump, and he heard Karasuma groan. The next second, there was a tall, tentacle super-being in front of him, the first there’d ever been. “Nagisa-kun.” Korosensei said, quietly, his voice rough with the angry colour of his skin. Nagisa looked up, as best he could, and saw his teacher lower himself down. His face was that black, angular rictus of fury that they’d only seen at especially dire times.

There was a flash of tentacles, and Nagisa experienced a brief rush of disorientation. Half of him was convinced he shouldn’t be able to follow their movement, but he could -

He felt himself be lifted upwards, very gently, on a number of squishy limbs.

“Sensei, please be careful! Don’t touch the headset!”

“Ritsu-chan.” Korosensei observed, turning his head to the side. “Are your parents involved with this? I thought you were defying them of your own will, now…”

“Sensei,” Nagisa cut in, voice weak. He hurt so much, and it was everywhere. Still, he moved his eyes, looking up at his teacher as best he could. He smiled. “…It’s good to see you.” He was…dazed. What should he be doing? He exhaled, roughly, eyes stinging. He was…so, so very much in pain.

“I’m sorry I took so long, Nagisa-kun.” His colour lightened, slightly. A tentacle came forwards carefully, poking at the edge of the headset. Ah, that was right.

“Koro…sensei…” He struggled, unable to move anything except the muscles in his face. It was horrifyingly unnerving, but he had to defuse the situation… “Don’t remove it. It’s in my spine.”

The tentacles, which had been edging towards a lighter shade, immediately went inky black again. Korosensei’s next breath sounded like a hiss, like an angry snake. “…I see. Is. That. So?”

There was the sound of someone choking in the corner. Oh dear. “Ah, sensei?” Nagisa wished he could move. Then he could poke his angry teacher to get his attention better. “…Please stop.”

Black drained to yellow so swiftly it hurt his eyes. “Nyu – aaa, Nagisa-kun, I’m sorry!” Korosensei’s voice, suddenly shrill and contrite, made him wince. “Am I hurting you?! I’ll put you down immediately!” Abruptly, Nagisa found himself back on the futon, in precisely the wrong position. Nagisa became aware of a very not good feeling of pressure on his neck.

“Sensei,” Nagisa squeaked, at the same time as Ritsu. “On my side, my side!”

His position was shifted in a fraction of a second, tentacles whipping around him.

“WHERE ARE YOU INJURED, NAGISA-KUN? Sensei’s super-being slithery tentacle surgery will fix it at once!”

The mental image that conjured up, bizarrely, was of Kayano. He couldn’t really think about that further, though, because every inch of his being was objecting fiercely to Korosensei’s horrific volume. “Korosensei,” he hissed, agonising pain blurring his vision. “please be quiet!”

“…nyuya?” Korosensei inquired, voice now very small.

“You’ve interrupted Nagisa-kun during an active cycle, Korosensei. He’s meant to be unconscious, this part is very painful!”

Nagisa observed, through the blur of what was probably involuntary tears, the darkening colour of the teacher looming over him. “Sensei, stop.” He said, plainly. “I’m doing this voluntarily.”

Korosensei’s waving tentacles stilled. “Nagisa-kun?”

Nagisa blinked, to clear the water out. He felt it trickle down both cheeks. It itched. “The offer...came through Ritsu. I accepted.”

His teacher and assassination target was ominously quiet for several seconds. He heard Karasuma gasp for breath across the room. “…I see. And what exactly is this, Nagisa-kun?” A pause. “Can you explain why you can’t move?”

“The headset is keeping him immobilised for his active cycle, sensei. It’s safer that way.”

“This is an experimental procedure with optimistic chances of success.” Nagisa informed, closing his eyes. His voice felt thick, the words difficult to form. “If it works, it’ll be a real edge for assassination. Karasuma-sensei…he has nothing to do with it. I…needed, a safe place, to stay.” He panted a little, the urgency fading and the agony becoming far more insistent. “He offered. He’s only helping, Korosensei.”

The silence this time was much longer. Sensei blurred out of vision, and the next moment, a slightly cool cloth was being held to his forehead, only part of which was accessible below the headset. It soothed the headache a little – had his fever hit, then? “Nagisa-kun,” Korosensei said, and he opened his eyes. The super-being was all yellow again, the round face with its set-in-place grin so familiar it ached. “In the future, please remember: I am your teacher. I will help you in your attempts to improve. Even ones as poorly-advised as these.”

Nagisa smiled, gently. So supportive, even in this… “Aa, sensei.” He murmured, closing his eyes again. “Next time, I’ll rely on you.”

“Good…but. I do hope there won’t be a ‘next time’, Nagisa-kun. My students shouldn’t harm themselves for the sake of assassination.” The cloth being held to his brow receded, carefully. “…Ritsu-chan? If Nagisa-kun is meant to be asleep, please make him so. We will talk about this…”

That sounds a bit scary, Nagisa thought, briefly. Then, very suddenly, he was unconscious.

---

End chapter.

Notes: Lots of brain stuff this chapter, woo. I had one person comment saying that they thought Korosensei would catch on quickly, and they were exactly right. And, Korosensei? Writing him is weird. It’s basically impossible to write him properly without weird noises and formatting. Also he is Not Amused, since he came in and assumed child abduction and experimentation.

Cheers for responses on the last chapter. I’ll be putting Fundamentals up on AO3 under the same title, under the pseud Spontaneite. If you’re on AO3, go give it some love?

I have loads of coursework due so next instalment may or may not take a while, depending on how much I procrastinate.