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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago

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the "what are you even talking about, like what do you mean when you say this" overlap imo between people talking about who's Bad At """conflict""" & talking about who's Bad At """"""social skills"""""" like. those supposed Social Skills being about carbonized Rituals that serve to indicate you're not a threat to each other, b/c the only reason to truly deviate from "never behaving in a way someone doesn't expect or feel they immediately understand / sympathize with" is b/c you're using more spontaneous communication to Fight, with an eventual winner/loser, and talking is just a power struggle and/or power play to assert your preestablished higher status, i.e. already being thee A Winner here

like this exhausting dynamic b/w these two bros just like talking about what they got out of [xyz] experience and how perhaps especially when you're supposed to be [the concept of Men] things are elevated re: the proximity to / frequency of fighting each other and always assessing each other's Threat Level, and these two random guys just have this tepid discussion and any time someone goes "and i also alternately/additionally thought/felt [xyz]" the other one does the bizarre like, semi exasperated? "no yeah Of Course" as though like oh we are so on the same page you didn't even have to say that and actually you're kind of an asshole for even starting to say it before i immediately cut in as soon as i realized i could agree at all to tell you to shove off with voicing it, how dare you even theoretically think i don't think exactly what you're thinking now shut up….again: exhausting

like Communication, the more freeform or extensive, is Bad, b/c you're potentially in Conflict, and conflict is fighting & being threats to each other & someone potentially needing to be crushed b/c how else do you resolve a Conflict Fight? versus like, can not the concept of A Conflict be more distilled to something so matter of fact that nobody even needs to Feel any ways about it. like the "theoretical" conflicts that would just be like. something can't happen as something hypothetically intended it to. like a scheduling conflict being, in fact, a conflict, without anyone needing to have been in the wrong for having an appointment on thursday afternoon, and without anyone needing to Concede The Point of scheduling anything on a thursday afternoon b/c they are the one who Lost w/e negotiation about how to work around this. can not "i was operating on one understanding of what's going on for you / what you're trying to do and why, and now what's happening isn't aligning with that idea that i had about how things are" be a conflict that can be resolved by perhaps talking to that person. versus assuming you must be correct b/c you're normal and so something's wrong with them and/or they're messing with you on purpose b/c they're an asshole now, and even if you realize you were wrong about something way down the line you can just be like "well sorreeee how was eye supposed to know [xyz] and i Thought i was being Nice b/c i Thought you were [xyz] so i was in the right and now you're coming after me by being like 'actually by doing that maybe you hurt or even simply inconvenienced me' like so i'm evil now?? could you not have politely let me keep stepping on your toes forever b/c i assumed something was true? and if you did ummm How Could You Be So Bad At Conflict as to know ppl respond [like this] and so instead politely let me keep stepping on your toes?????? i also resent all this"

versus if you see the conflict of "i seem to have misunderstood you / you misunderstand me" as Not Necessarily Threatening then you can comfortably just actually communicate about it. that autistic people who are used to thinking of themselves through the lens of [how others may interpret any/everything about them], having to be more aware of themself as An Other than A Self, won't assume everyone's reading everyone else's mind at all, or even think of that as the ideal approach, and will like, readily give & seek information from others to actually try to be on the same page and have this Constructive experience where you've worked together to navigate your interaction as two different people who would not somehow magically be in alignment, unless you consider the "alignment" to be the power differences that must exist and the priority in Socializing, thus what makes for "good" "social skills," is never threatening them, or god forbid Disrespecting them by Ignoring them: say, how autistic people will have less status/[the social capital] b/c of being autistic, yet the assholes will be Talking (the medium of a fight) and Asking anything of others like participation in an interaction (fighting) and btw by thinking they're Allowed to talk all freestyle rather than in the hollow scripts of "i'm amicable i'm not threatening you. directly. this may be passive aggressive" and by treating me as a mere equal they're trying to drag me down to their level and/or elevate themself to mine, and b/c this is a disruption of the power hierarchy that must exist, we have a problem, and they started it, and they're an asshole

(also: i & many people Do also consciously disrespect & ignore the [socializing = power struggles] concept & its goings on lol. and there's also ofc no real "normal" Universal social style across all cultures and groups and individuals and Misinterpretation ft. bad faith reactions happens on endless fronts. but nt people will pretend there are Rules that everyone has had to be Trained on and if you disobey you'll never deserve to be treated as a person. all "and people only smile when they're happy. unless, did i miss a memo? that frowns means happy now???" etc etc like you see it's all passive aggression or the tools of passive aggressiveness but to "help" someone without threatening them but you Can be pissed if they misunderstand, or at least know you were in the right.)

the way it's Normal(tm) to never actually think of how you don't Know someone else's thoughts/feelings, to never presume they could operate differently and for reasons you can't just accurately infer with a guess re: why You'd do it, to not try to actively undergo a mutually cooperative interaction to better understand each other / be working with the same info, but oh it's autistic people who Are doing all this who never think about how other people are different from their weirdo asses. the "social skills" of assuming wrongly, getting mad at others for supposedly realities you just made up, responding to assuming xyz & being mad about it by punishing/excluding someone & possibly getting others in on it. whilest nd people with their Wrong social existences & approaches are always navigating communicating/socializing as something to do actively & consciously to connect with & understand other people and Don't necessarily think [wow this person doesn't seem to be behaving Amicably towards me?] is a) correct or b) proof they're an enemy to defeat, b/c that's how they're generally treated? the whole time you know communication can fail and you're navigating that w/active effort & constructive intent while people who operate on [if someone does something you don't expect / not according to the script: kill or be killed. or kill just b/c you can & that's the only way you can relate to yourself/others] are like wow what an asshole who i guess doesn't want to get along with anyone so let's see them in hell.

not to mention being shut out from even basics of communication b/c socializing is about respective power levels and you do need Authority to do things like "say whatever" or "have people care about your personal experience at any time" or "say anything at all, actually" like ppl discussing things like "i don't know that i can't Read Cues, vs that i just know they might mean any number of things" vs if someone's not looking at you while you talk it can't be b/c they're actually trying to listen better, it's b/c they're ignoring you / uninterested to pwn you, if they show they relate by saying "hey yeah that's like when i [xyz]" they're one upping to pwn you, if they smile they're happy people only smile when they're happy unless did i miss a memo that frowns means happy??? b/c if someone also makes any expression it Must have been caused by You and they're letting you know as much to pwn you.....or ppl talking about how they can never jump into a conversation b/c they just Can't Get The Timing Right the way other allistic ppl can walk right up and barge in and be absorbed into the convo, or even have a [one on one convo w/ the autistic person] quickly turn into [one on one w/the newcomer, Excluding the autistic person] and other people being like, is it about our "social skills" and "timing" or is about when you' have the authoriti're understood to have the superior social status, you Deserve to do things like cut in on a whim and be listened to, timing does not matter, Not ignoring / forgetting the inferior person does not matter. like, the issue isn't always just "i tried to jump in and it went a bit awkwardly," it can be standing there and talking and being completely ignored w/o much evident conscious effort, or even the least time on some pending [choice to ignore]. you can be hypothetically In the interaction, like, allowed in the group, w/o people noticing when you talk, b/c you don't warrant Listening/Processing, or at least, the least response to indicate that and thus validate that An Exchange is occurring, versus: shut up already b/c shut up always unless someone else wants you to one word answer a question and then possibly misunderstand you w/hostility, but if you Explain anything in unasked (as it always is) depth you're a) out of line, nobody told you to talk more hence the only reason you'd be justified to do so b) defensive, also out of line when you deserve others' judgment, and/or obviously a sign of knowing you're out of line and thus doing too much to avert your just punishment c) providing info b/c you think w/o info i might be Wrong b/c i'm Dumb & Bad. no You. d) all of the above and more

and if, perhaps because trying to talk live & in person means stuff like the above, and other behaviors/mannerisms being judged as weird so let's kill them b/c obv they're killing us by being so weird, and if you're trying to be "normal" that's diminishing your ability to actually communicate or like get through your day and requires hurting yourself for the benefit of others so they don't hurt you more (spoilers. the resonance w/experiences of other instances of "you're responsible for how other ppl, who are superior / have authority, treat you, and have to 'earn' their positive treatment or even neutrality b/c you do not Already inherently deserve it," i.e. interpersonal abuse) and still won't even fully or always work (see prior parenthetical) b/c even if one person pretends things b/w multiple parties can be unilateral, it is not (see: prior)....anyways and If all that means say, someone can communicate a) more effectively and b) with less real pain & depletion via Other Mediums, like emails / otherwise written, non real time correspondance, or god forbid something so Unreasonable as real time / in person that's still not talking, with correct Tone and Inflection and Body Language and Posture and Eye Contact and Handshake and Je Ne Sais Quoi and Cut Of Your Jib and All American Interests And Sensibilities and Etcccc, like what a tyrannical demand that could just never even be considered and i have the Right to eye contact and phone call and etc etc etc (you do not) Stop Hiding (you warrant avoidance if you think no one should be able to avoid you)

and parallel to nd people having the theory of mind and social/communication skills that don't understand all interactions as asserting or vying for power or indicating you're Not threatening someone in the realm of supposed social power, and thus do not operate with that premise, the victim blaming that is "obviously that treatment is bad and i would know it is bad and not tolerate it because it is bad. so people subjected to it have to be worse than me, and deserve it more" where it's also definitely not the fault of the people issuing the treatment, b/c how could they Really know it's bad if the other person is experiencing it without Stopping them, hence telling them It's Okay??? well sorrreeeeee how was i supposed to know that [xyz] was actually hurting you, it's your fault for not blowing up at me, which would've been deemed this uncalled for reaction if you had, and now i'm mad if you're Making me feel Bad b/c that's the discomfort that really matters????? fuck you for telling me, with this kind of response why didn't you tell me?? like, uh oh, same logic at work. and that when other people keep running into the realities that actually their good faith expressing of "actually this hurts me" or more spontaneous reactions to being hurt are just taken as justifications to treat Them as some aggressor / problem creator wronging the other, ofc they aren't likely to simply keep trying that when it's not serving the purpose it "should" or supposedly Would, b/c well if only this person did xyz then nothing bad could ever happen to anyone. and when people ofc Have to become accustomed to [other person or people who can & will treat them badly if they want to, or even just thoughtlessly, b/c they can, & don't choose to do the opposite, b/c even if they're aware they've hurt someone it only matters if they feel justified / they care more about keeping their relative status (it's being autistic, it's [the Authority of Superior Status is coming from inside the house: the concept that husband owns a wife, parents own children; familial abuse])] then it's like wowww they just put up with it, it's their fault then. god forbid that even if they extricate themself from one abusive situation, they're still vulnerable, other ppl take advantage of the vulnerability & they're now in another abusive situation and are used to navigating that indefinitely, vs how someone else might have the preexisting advantage of Not being used to that, not having the experiences to navigate it more indefinitely, finding it more extraordinary & thus having more confidence in their assessment of the situation, and not having the kind of vulnerability in the first place to a) have been in such situations prior b) be stuck in this one now, including perhaps being able to expect that their feelings will matter to others and others will support/help them on that basis, or that their feelings will even be regarded as real/existent. Being Autistic.

(also, yknow, other nd experiences. like adhd classics of "but if you cared / cared to try, you would simply [xyz]" and the like. this is about the crossovers, this is about the "it's the same thing. [who has the restricted autonomy? who has the power at the expense of others' autonomy?] extended universe")

and like the idea that abused people were just Bad at """Conflict.""" and that even if they're extricated from one abusive situation, they might have xyz behaviors / approaches that aren't Normal and that Those make them "worse" at "conflict" too. that nobody "normal" could be lacking in their "normal" approach to interacting with others, neurodivergent people and others who get to be, like, Others(tm) others, definitely don't have [behaviors / experiences related to repeated trauma??] pretty across the board, they're probably just doing more fucking up at being normal which is why they don't get to be considered normal in the first place, ofc. like, what tf is Normal Joe doing to question if they're perhaps not now and have not always been and may not always be the Perfect Interactor. much less to actively try to navigate that, and assume there'll be more to learn b/c there's all these other people who are all different and all always changing. and to perhaps Try to be safe to interact with beyond "well i Mean well" "well a normal person wouldn't regard anything i did as Tryinnng to hurt someone" "well is it my fault i just Assumed you were simply as normal as me? aka the nice thing to do? the thing you should be trying to do?? way to be a weirdo, like having experienced traumatic harm and now that's like, a part of your life and you're not actually Wrong about it or Lied To that that's possible b/c it clearly is and you can't be aware of the precarity re: that happening again b/c welll it's not normal for it to happen surely, i'd Know if it was, you can't recognize your vulnerability, you're kind of an asshole for making that experience anyone else's problem, it's not My fault, keep it to yourself and just get over it asap" like the real problem is if someone might have to so much as consider consciously doing something differently b/c someone else is different than they thought and also nobody's Above considering others and how they're affected by your actions. liiike so long as i didn't mean to, or so long as we don't really care about how they're doing b/c they Are less of a person with a wronger existence that means they bring it upon themself and there's a Narrative about how actually my Superiority is a noble burden that is only trying to punish them towards being as superior as me. and/orrrr i don't even have to think about it & thus have any narrative b/c it's so streamlined / obfuscated as there being any deliberate interference that this is all just Normal, right. people are out of line suggesting [xyz] is ableist or something b/c ughhh it's not about any principle it's about some emotional quota like, okay i've begrudgingly assessed Some things as sympathetic/reasonable to not do, & that's enough, & you can only ask so much of me vs this being a constant often conscious lifelong matter to deal with like it is for people who could be hurt by it?? the contempt is effortless and normal and you have to be trying to be evil & feel evil about it for anything to count. if other people say they're affected a) who cares b) they're probably being too sensitive. another way they're worse. i'm not entitled here c) are they even frowning to prove they're sad? well they're either too sensitive Or they're manipulatively exaggerating / faking it anyways. the convenient fact that nobody can provide external ""proof"" of their thoughts or feelings or intentions, which means i'm always justified if know i think i am, which, let me check, yep: i know i think i do, and it means that i can assume other people are shit inside and hurting them doesn't do anything Real and they deserve it anyways

anyways merely being Normal Mode and Not Thinking You've Been Malicious Or, Sometimes More Importantly, Out Of Line Re: Your Justified Authority is maybe not a basis of successful interactions. what if you try thinking of yourself as [an other, to all others] and not better than other people if you've never much noticed being treated as worse, or at least not as As Worse as Those people or That person, and maybe just b/c You'd only explain something to someone to patronize them b/c nothing should ever not be immediately understood, doesn't mean other people trying to convey their experiences and ideas to you b/c they know you're different people are attacking you as so inferior to you as to be patronized, b/c you're different ppl and they Are better at communicating / socializing when not treating others as inferior or superior Or only equal b/c of being Litchrelly the same person as you, Never even share a thought b/c Of Course i'd immeidately agree with it, how dare you, shut the fuck up

(thinking how people can Parallelly share a space without talking / seemingly interacting more directly than that, as "i am comfortable w/your presence" and/or "we can both use this space as we see fit simultaneously w/little to no need to hash anything out abt it / may rather silently work around what the other is doing" and this may be seen as signaling hostility / contempt / some power play, like also when cats do it b/c they choose to be around you. or just so Weird. you can't even go to a public place Alone, are you kidding? weird And sad)

maybe just saying "don't be afraid to ask questions / for help :)" doesn't make everyone comfortable asking questions / for help, or otherwise able to. maybe not even doing that much & simply thinking your being Normal & correctly Friendly implicitly conveys it to all & makes you approachable is not that guarantee, either. maybe saying "just tell me if anything makes You uncomfortable" doesn't put the responsibility on them for real, just surely takes any blame off you (no?). like sorry do you Want to asap reach a point where you can forever stop being concerned with how what you do may affect others and assume you're perfectly correct abt the needs of everyone you encounter and how your behavior is good enough to one size fits all treat anyone? speaking of being patronizing, and the attitudes behind it. someone who's abused is now Wronger about how to treat them so that they can feel safe. if they want to communicate in ways that seem weird or too distant they're wronging Me, if some misalignment can only be recognized through someone being hurt (as only judged as reasonable / real by the more Normal party) and having to have a conflict as a Fight to determine who the Wrong / Loser party is, what do you mean that's not going to feel safe to everyone. it can't be that a lot of people easily hurt others without having to notice it or Feel wrong about it. dunno how it could be that ppl are like "does being autistic share traits/behaviors associated w/trauma or is it that like everyone is all but guaranteed trauma for being autistic" and if it does well clearly what matters is no normal people feeling bad for thoughtless contemptuous abusive treatment or having to consider operating on different social values/principles towards any & everyone? the autistic people should just become not autistic, i.e. not exist, i.e. also it's their fault how other ppl treat them, whoops it's the same logic behind [anyone abused in any situation / form]

also the idea that like, what, oh someone's Wronged if they didn't feel they had the Chance to Befriend someone or even be Close to them, like, what, is anyone Entitled to even have some trial run at being any given person's friend, or close to them, or w/e other personal access to them? ppl can then cite a noble Concern like oh but if they don't let anyone in they'll be alone, oh but if a child avoids me their shit parent in their room then that can't be good for them, oh but if an autistic person goes unpunished then they'll always be hated & mistreated (as deserved), like, the primarily cited Benevolent Magnanimous reason for the disdain is secondary to [i'm just justifying continuing on exactly as i've been doing, b/c i already can] like yeah oh my god could it be possible that people in shitty positions going through shitty experiences might have complicated reactions to that reality that is different than yours but not Wronger just b/c you think yours is better / more Normal, which means better. and if they ever take on any blame / take on more responsibility in ways that they direct inwards, like that they Continue to be responsible for how others feel about them, what they assume about them, and how they treat them, (which they probably are b/c that's totally for [inferior abnormaller people] like nervous unconfident loser weirdos like them who just Failed to respect Themselves enough to not be abused & continue to be blamed for that, as well as for not being treated w/basic respect as an equal person) well then how heroic to use the idea of their compounding hurt to wash your hands of your own responsibility in any interactions w/them. they have to become as Normal as me first, how unreasonable for someone to recognize that even "normal" interactions involve some people being deemed superior while other people are more scrutinized, punished, and blamed, w/no recourse, even in Casual Friendly exchanges :) so mean to have been too uncomfortable to say they were uncomfortable or have felt too unsafe to say they felt unsafe! *i* was within my rights as [but i'm just so normal and well meaning] and i mean what do they expect, their standards are impossible and unreasonable and unfair b/c it's not i the range of Normal to Haaave to accommodate them (ugh. the Real imposition), and they're just using excuses vs taking Responsibility & enacting Agency anyways, their fault entirely. people are so sensitive these days you can't just have a conversation??? i have no problem w/this logic thanks

anyways it's half past one and i could always go on. normative standpoint "bad conflict skills" [handshake] "bad social skills" like hmm are they really. so heroic to worrying abt if [xyz] is bad for themself but what's good for themself would probably make you think they're even more of an asshole who's wronging you (e.g. someone consciously trying to be "worse" at [preventing the least conflicts via people pleasing], someone consciously trying to be "worse" at [being deemed marginally more socially successful via masking]), are you being wronged or did you presume you're entitled to something / perceive someone else as entitled b/c they weren't acting like you're inherently better than them, which you are, there's not a problem unless power is threatened, which makes it always the totally inferior people's faults, *i* didn't think there was a problem & *i* would've known (backup: well how was *i* supposed to know)....who gets to be superior, who's always in the Process of having to work for deserving basic respect as a person (b/c they keep failing to deserve it ofc), who's more vulnerable and has no recourse even if they don't like it and would be out of line just asking for otherwise / merely implying as much by expressing that they're hurt, who has the power to hurt someone whether through malicious schemes or spontaneous thoughtlessness/ignorance, who has restricted choices re: their autonomy, who gets to choose what happens to other people & the elements of their personhood, their time, energy, body, feelings, effort, etc, & hurt / imperil (require they take on more vulnerability/precarity) them to enforce it....but who cares like just go "i'm so normal that it's relatable" & wash your hands of anything, after all your time as the individual hero out here lol. try being an Other To Others rando as good as anyone else who can handle the idea they're wrong / don't already know how to be perfectly right abt everything / not feeling the least actively malicious or "out of line" isn't the end all be all sole priority. what are we talking about with what "conflict" fundamentally is, or how to approach it, or the same re: being "social"? well only assholes who wanna flex on me by being pedantic would bring it up

#long post abab #''they're the same picture'' [parental abuse] [being autistic] [Authority over Others enforced w/interrelated/fractaling power systems]#age 7 a teacher duly informing me of my punishment for not only not breathlessly obeying some gesture from across the gym while looking in #that direction but not parsing it as an order; much less what it meant; in the first place? so it's a wednesday then #the feeling that you must just be failing to follow some Rules and it's on you to Succeed before things are decent?#the fact that that is indeed the assertion other people make about the situation?#one iteration of [you're treated worse b/c you deserve it] lining up w/another. & one isn't Wrong/Mistaken for noticing this....#the posts about like weird but positive Family Holiday Celebrations they didn't realize that not everyone did....that but the evil version #you can just make up xmas dinosaur or big sandwich day. you can also just make up ableism or that children are parent's property lmao #but then also. those things are so permeating / common that it's like ppl are against them in name only....#but you're also supposed to think that Nothing is different abt your situation than anyone else's & they just Acted Right through it #anyways. baseball metaphor re the rules you're supposed to learn lol...#hugely popular recess game that i tried to join in Once & nobody ever taught us even when playing it in gym #i'd inferred / observed Some rules but obv messed up quickly enough (made Worse for prior success: being on second lol. (what))#that was around the end of recess luckily ig but i was quite aware of ppl grousing amongst themselves that i'd ruined the game #back to foursquare where we made up rules b/c it's a game lol & having fun #next up: my being the One person in fifth grade who couldn't already ride a bike; also no instruction; also in front of everyone lol #they went off & did other stuff anyways & i Did learn but thx to One gracious peer lending a hint #(that being: it's harder to balance if you Falter in speed. going a bit faster only makes it Easier to maintain balance. it was So True)#having it pointed out by other ppl w/extra zany upbringings like oh i guess our parents didn't like want to know things abt us / talk to us #or ever play w/us much or teach us much? the classic [parent does xyz for you even if you wish they wouldn't & then just starts like slowly #and increasingly resenting that you don't know how to do it yourself already? or in the first place?)#certainly the overlap Between also personal abuse & being nd lmao. i will Never keep that room clean lol....not up to that shit #and ofc every Interpretation of behavior is kneejerk Reality / all that matters; you Are responsible for another / adult person's feelings #And their actions per their feelings. and their feelings abt your feelings abt their actions! just like being autistic in the wild #next up: being queer also lmfao. insert it into this post throughout. if you'd just act right. you can't expect getting to be as much of a #person as me who can make choices / have their autonomy when you're not as normal as me? hello???#parent can't bring themself to directly invoke concepts like Gay or Trans but Can just be like umm what's wrong w/you (rhetorical) >:(

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spidercomics · 2 years ago

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mary jane (all night long).

PAIRING avatar!jake x f!na'vi!reader.

SUMMARY "all the things you want to do, just relax and i'll take care of you" ─ being the olo'eyktan's oldest daughter, you rarely take time to enjoy yourself. luckily, jake knows how to make you loosen up.

CONTENTS established relationship, talks about missing meals, kissing.

WC 2.59k

SMUT WARNINGS oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, riding, m/f ejaculation, overstimulation (kinda).

A/N normally i dont like the uh, "neytiris sister" shit but, here we go ig, tried not to mention her too much, felt kinda guilty 😭😭 bear with me on this one, haven't written since april. i cant believe i wrote fucking alien sex.

glossary:

"yom wutsot"; eat (your) meal/food.

"rutxe"; please.

all your life, you'd strived to be perfect. you'd be constantly disappointed in yourself if you didn't exceed expectations in every task and skill you tried to master. you were also scared of failure, one of the main issues as to why you got so much stress and anxiety when stuff didn't work out as planned, or things changed last minute. it was a big problem for you, until jake came along.

jake was carefree, one; because he came from an entirely different planet, he didn't know anyone and didn't have anyone to disappoint or impress, and two; he was just a free spirit. he lived now, he did what he wanted, and he didn't look back. jake had the mindset you'd love to have.

all you ever wanted to hear was that someone was proud of you, not how you could improve, not what you could to better next time — no, you wanted to hear that you did well, make you feel like you've accomplished something, not just gotten better at it.

jake had filled that place, reminding you often how proud he is and sometimes playing extra dumb just to somehow boost your confidence. he's cocky, but he doesn't come close to the amount of skills you have, he'll admit that much.

sitting by the fire, jake didn't listen to the conversation neytiri and tsu'tey tried to involve him in. he was grateful of them trying to make him feel included, but he also felt kinda like a burden; since he restricted them from using their native tongue around him — just so he'd understand. it was nice, but unnecessary in this case when he didn't pay attention to them anyway.

he was eyeing the clusters of families and friends around the fire, but he didn't see you. you weren't there.

jake knew there was an annual feast coming up, and knowing you, it had to be perfect. you were probably working your ass of planning it somewhere, and here he was, enjoying a meal and talking to his friends.

selfish.

you heard someone walking into your tent, jake had a certain scent, and along with the way he always dragged his heavy feet around, you had heard him coming. knowing it was jake, you didn't make a move to acknowledge him.

"y/n?"

the sigh you let out before answering almost made him nervous, "ma jake."

he loved how you said his name.

"i brought you dinner."

"i have already ate." he hated how you didn't even turn around to answer him, too occupied with weaving finishing touches to decorative cloths.

"don't lie," walking up to you, jake lazily set down the bowl on a nearby surface, crouching down and resting his hands on your shoulders, "you need to take a break, you've been sitting here since morning."

"it needs to be perfect jake, the feast is tomorrow and mother keeps telling me how this is a big celebration of me completing the passage."

"everything will look perfect, don't be so harsh on yourself," jake reached over to grab the bowl of food before sitting in front of you, now in your line of sight. you didn't look up tho, not until he handed you the food and it smelled so good your insides started making an embarrassingly loud noise, "yom wutsot."

this made you look up. jake didn't use na'vi more than necessary, but whenever he did, he sure got your attention. you wanted him to speak it more, it would help him learn it better too. you grabbed the bowl, and jake let a small, smug smile grace his face in celebration.

jake let you eat without talking your ear off (as he usually would), and instead letting himself observe the beautiful patterns you've chosen to weave. he didn't understand why you were being so hard on yourself, as if the work wouldn't be appreciated no matter how it looked. maybe not by your parents to a full, but by the people. you were a role model for everyone already, you didn't have to prove yourself anymore.

watching you stand up and moving across the tent to leave the bowl, he had been on his feet not long after — reaching for your empty hands. he engulfed your smaller ones in his own, and using the grip to start swaying with you. you let out a small laugh, before leaning your head in his neck and enjoying the solid warmth he gave you. skin on skin, jake closed his eyes, feeling your hands now laying flat against his upper back, pushing him impossibly closer. one of his hands wrapped around your waist, starting to control your swaying, and the other grabbing the back of your neck, occasionally moving your hair through his fingers.

your breathing fell in rhythm with his own, feeling the slight brush of air against the nape of his neck. your heartbeat had slowed considerably, the complete warmth and comfortable hold of jake calming you down from the stressed out state he found you in. jake's heart, on the other hand, had picked up. your fingers tracing his back sent chills up his spine, in the best way possible, and he would never get enough of how easy you made him melt into a mess.

jake was sure that you could throw a dagger into his chest and his heart would still be whole, beating for you, until his death. you hadn't mated yet, and with the frequent attacks from the rda, jake wanted it over with — to connect before it was too late, wanting to feel your souls connecting like they were meant to, atleast once.

your hands traced around his torso, palms against his chest before straightening yourself, your hands around his shoulders, swaying with him. jake was holding your waist, leaving small kisses on the top of your hair, he leaned his head down to connect his forehead against yours. he felt your tail rubbing his leg slightly, a little shocked when it circled his thigh to pull him closer, forcing your lips to meet in a kiss. jakes hands dropped lower, grabbing your hips in his hold and enjoying the slight purring bouncing around your chest when he rubbed his hands on the seam of your cloth, moving his lips fiercely against your own.

jake would do anything for you to de-stress, and if this is what it took, he wouldn't complain.

one of his hands trailed lower, a simple grip on the back of your thigh. when you playfully swatted his hand with your tail he let out a deep chuckle, seperating your lips with a smirk on his lips.

"lay down for me." it wasn't a question, and you didn't think for a second before detaching yourself from jake, laying down on the rugs and blankets displayed across the tent.

jake watched how you sat up, untying your top piece and tossing it away to the side for later. you leaned down on your forearms, legs bent, feet planted against the ground. jakes ears started immediately twitching, tail swaying excitedly. it was so easy to rile him up.

jake got down on his knees, placing soft kisses along your legs, getting closer and closer to the place you desired him the most. he took his time, if it was for his own pleasure or for the sake of teasing, you didn't know. he nipped at your soft thighs, enjoy the way your mouth dropped open, soft mewls escaping when he left small hickeys on the inside of them, claiming you, even if it was somewhere he wished no one would see them except him.

his hands found themselves untying the second piece covering you, admiring the way your cunt looked so smooth, so wet. so wet, it had him twitching under his own loincloth, he couldn't wait to devour you. it wasn't the first time he'd done this, but he still felt so giddy each time, even if what you were doing was nothing close to innocent. he wanted to be the one undressing you forever, the one to worship your body, the ground you walked on.

jake traced two fingers along your core, experimentally dipping a finger inside and feeling the way you clenched at the intrusion of his finger. he kept pushing it in, coming to a hilt and listening to your small, inaudible mumbles. he pulled it out, toying with your slit as your chest heaved slightly, heartbeat racing significantly.

"ma jake, rutxe," jake pushed a finger in, pulling it out again, and redoing the same motions. his thrusts became steady, and brought you immense pleasure. his thumb traced along your cunt, landing on your clit, rubbing slow circles around it.

it was a sight for sore eyes, your wet cunt, only for him to cherish, twitching and clenching around his fingers, sucking him in for more. you had him absolutely entranced. he would stay in this position forever if he could.

"jake, please, can you just— oh," his tongue replaced his eager thumb, licking a stripe up your slit, collecting your arousal. his thrust had picked up, adding a finger, he watched your back arch up a bit, your eyes closed from the new added pressure against your already slick walls.

jake payed close attention to the soft sighs and mewls you let out, adjusting his fingers to reach even deeper. jake felt his chin covered in your essence, and he wondered if any other man had found themselves lucky enough to be in his position. a man could only dream to find themselves between your thighs like jake is, tasting every piece of you, cherishing your body with more love than his heart could withhold.

his fingers found the spot inside of you that made your hand desperately grasp at his soft hair, the shorter strands getting caught between your fingers, pushing him closer to your heat. he let out a satisfied groan, enjoying the way you pulled on his dark locks, fingers digging into his scalp.

the thrusts of his fingers were calculated and steady. a slowly increasing pace, with a force that made your body shiver, and a hand laying hard on you hip, sure to leave a purple mark in the morning. every prod and drag had a coil tightening in the pit of your stomach, a fire growing inside of you. the soft pleas and sighs, along with the wet squelch from his constant thrusts had his dick twitching. he was so hard, he started considering rubbing himself against the rug for the slightest pleasure.

the overwhelming feeling of your orgasm washed over you. the long-awaited feeling that had you absolutely seeing stars. as cliche as it was. a hand wrapped around your wrist that was in his hair, a soft kiss was placed against your palm and then you felt the man that had spent minutes between your thighs grabbing you, pulling you up and out of your hazy state to sit in his lap.

your mouth dropped open from the overwhelming feeling of his bulge against your bare sex. quickly detaching yourself, sitting up on your knees to calm yourself down before taking it any further. jakes hand rubbed against your head, fingers tracing from the top of your head down to your neck, waiting for your body to relax.

"you good?"

"mhm, felt so good jake, you're so good," jake didn't know if you would even remember this conversation, but it still left him a little flustered. your praise always had that effect on him, his ears falling flat. jake felt your hands reaching behind him to untie the cloth covering him from you, his eyes falling shut when your smaller hand touched the tip of his dick, "so pretty."

your eyes were casted downwards, your words merely a muttering to yourself. regardless of him hearing it or not, it was true, and it left his eyes falling shut from just the smallest pressure on the slit of his tip. leaning against him, you rubbed yourself on his dick, his hands had find solace on your hips, your knees constricting against his own. your head was leaning back, jake's forehead laying on top of your chest, eyes closed in pure pleasure.

his cock bumped against your clit, leaving your mouth open in silent moans, jake striving to keep doing the same movements over and over again. you wondered how something could feel so intimate and wonderful, without even connecting queues. your hands held the sides of his throat, fingers splayed across his jaw. keeping his head bent down between your breasts, a few kisses left on your soft skin.

"can i...?" you looked down at where jake was preparing to line himself up with your slick entrance, an eager nod from you left him pushing inside slowly, a groan leaving him when your tight walls sucked him in more and more, deeper and deeper, "so tight, so good for me... oh fuck— such a good girl, taking me so well."

you barely heard the last part, his voice breaking into small pants when you moved yourself up and down on him, the back of your thighs slamming down on his with every drop of your body.

"don't hold back on me baby, i wanna hear you," with his encouragement, you let yourself be a little louder, still aware of the people around the camp, outside of the tent. jake didn't seem embarrassed at all, rather proud of having you instead, glad to let as many people as possible know that he's the only one who can have you this way. you were his. with or without the bond.

beginning to set an alright pace for yourself, you let yourself relax further into his hold, feeling every shift of him against you — inside you. the way he grabbed your hips, ragged breaths fanning across your bare chest, small kisses being placed across your breasts and nipples, rough from the night air nipping away at your damp bodies.

jakes hand found its way back between your legs, his thumb rubbing slowly against your clit, bringing the pleasure to new heights. your mewls got louder, your tail wagging behind you in sharp twists, ears flat. he knew you were close, he'd seen the sweet sight before him too many times. he glanced up at your pretty face, forehead glistening from the overhead lights, sweaty from the long session of pleasures. jake hadn't even noticed his own orgasm coming, too distracted by the way your eyes closed shut, mouth open in the sweetest form of intimacy. he wanted to hold you in his arms forever.

"ma jake," your hand drifted to grab the back of his head, soft hair back between your fingers, bringing him back to the scene, the image of his dreams playing out in front of him. you were so close, desperately wanting the man who was all around you, in you, to be with you at the finishing line, "come with me jake, please, need you jake," how could he possibly resist you? resist your pleas?

"i got you, let go for me." he held you close, thumb circling your clit with more pressure as you writhed on his lap, body falling limp against him, face tucked into his neck. the way you clenched around him had him coming seconds after yourself. hand petting your hair, words of affection all around you as his other hand traced along your spine.

he couldn't wait to have you like this forever. officially.

#avatar #avatar: the way of water #atwow #jake sully #jake sully x reader #jake sully smut #jake x reader #avatar smut #avatar the way of water #avatar the way of water smut #jake sully x reader smut #(➹) ─── my work.#fic

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trashiewrites · 2 years ago

Note

pinning ghost against a wall and kissing the shit out of him leaving him flustered lmaoo

I know for a fact this is no way anyone would think this would go but ayeeee! Hope yall enjoy~

Don’t Test Me~ (ghost x reader)

Word count: 549

Rated: G for girlbossin 😎😎😎

Ahh, domestic life is surely a spender. From being a classified asset to just a housewife due to your kids. Honestly, you envy your husband for still being in his task force. Simon, being gone for long periods of time, is usually good at helping out but today he's been particularly difficult.

You walked past holding your youngest in your arms, walking beside your husband sitting on the sofa and pecking the top of his head "Simon love can you start the laundry for me~" Simon glanced over and hummed. "Thank you." You would smile and go tend to the babies. Going back an hour later and the laundry hasn't been touched. Did it irritate you? Yes, immensely. But you put the benefit of the doubt that he had some other things to do. You looked around the house to see Simon exactly where he last was. Yes, you don't say anything about it.

Off the go make dinner for every one you make Simon's favorite since you had yet to celebrate his return. It was a lovely dinner, fighting with your older toddler to eat the food. Eating your food, Simon finishing before you. "Thank you for the food dove~" he wrapped his arms around your shoulders; you leaned back into his chest.

"No problem, Simon," you relaxed your eyes as his lips met your forehead. Cries echo through the house, "little one must have heard us eating." He whispered.

"I'll handle it, can you handle the kitchen for me?" Simon nodded and you went to handle the baby. It took you a small while, a cranky baby in all situations means bad time; That took you about an hour tops. You, exhausted and somewhat anxious, went to grab a bottle of water. While passing by you saw Simon at his desk doing something, you're unsure of what exactly. Then again it didn't matter to you. Walking into the kitchen to grab yourself some water. You take one step before stopping in your track, the kitchen wasn't even cleaned! AT ALL. You didn't know what He was on today but you were mad. "SIMON RILEY!" You hear him rush down the stairs.

"What's wrong? You okay?!" Simon's face was written with concern, you only looked back at him unamused. You grabbed him and moved him in front of the fridge.

"Knees, now!" You said sternly, Simon looked back visibly confused. "Did I stutter Riley?"

"No ma'am," he did as told, keeping his eyes on you the whole time. Honestly, he prob thought things were going to go another way. With your hand, you grasped his cheeks under his chin and directed his face to the messy kitchen.

"What did you tell me earlier?" His expression turned from 'oh~' to 'oh shit' real quick. "Now, within the next 30 minutes, I want this kitchen sparkling. Do I make myself clear?" You stared deeply into his brown eyes; his breath was heavy. He gulped loudly and then nodded. You chuckled and smirked, "Good boy~" Your fingers trailed his neck, and you kissed him softly. "Finish before 20 minutes and I'll reward you, Simon~" you waved at him as you walked out of the room; leaving the man on his knees, speechless, and very 'frustrated'. He never cleaned so fast in his fucking life.

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod #modern warfare #simon ghost riley #simon x reader #simon riley #fluffy #trashie answers #cod mw2 #cod mw #cod mw22

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sweet-as-an-angel · 2 years ago

Text

Platonic Yandere Ghost x Childhood BFF Reader

Warnings: No pronouns used for Reader except for ‘You’, spoilers for Ghost's past, mentions of abuse, angst, fluff, yandere Ghost, toxic behaviour, possessive behaviour, kidnapping, arguing, guilt tripping, intrusive thoughts, etc.

Ghost would never let anyone else have you.

To him, you are the one fragment of his life which is truly his own, that doesn't belong to the dark confines of his childhood or the military.

You were, to put it plainly, Simon's safe haven.

Having known each other since childhood, you are the person who is nearest and dearest to Simon, and he to you.

You were there to shelter him from the abuse of his father, taking him into your home and showing him what a real family could be.

You were there when he decided to join the military, a decision you were concerned about yet supported him nonetheless.

You were there to celebrate his return home, throwing your arms around him and telling him how much you missed him.

You also cooked the most delicious meal he could imagine, and he'd polish all of it off without fail.

And for all these reasons, Ghost is absolutely feral when it comes to you.

He knows it's selfish, but he thinks that you're his and his alone.

If you tell him you're going out with some other friends, he'll mope about it.

Perhaps not in front of you. But he may guilt trip you into staying home with him so you can cuddle.

He loves holding you btw, and being held by you.

He feels protected - safe - like nothing can hurt him.

Reminds him of how you and your family would protect him from his own home life, the two of you sharing your single bed and you playing with his hair, promising you'll never let anyone hurt him.

I should be telling you that, is what he thought to himself then, wrapped in your embrace.

And it's what he tells himself now as he argues with you, telling you that you can't trust those people you call friends - they're only out to hurt you!

"Not everything is a mission, Simon!" you'd snap. "Not everyone is out to get you or me; they're just people! We are just people!"

"I'm only trying to protect you."

You can only sigh, both of you aware of how well that line works on you because you know it's true.

"I know, Si. But I just want to live my life. The same way I want you to live yours."

You rarely argue aside from that. Which is what makes your confrontations so explosive at times.

One evening, after you came back late with the shopping, Ghost snapped.

It was a screaming match the second you walked through the door, Ghost demanding you tell him what took you so long, telling you why you were a liability to yourself, why you needed him with you at all times.

The details grew hazy around then. And with good reason.

While begging Ghost to just let you live without casting suspicion on every relationship you had and every decision you made, Ghost threw himself at you, muffling you with a cloth.

It smelled strange. Medical.

You tried fighting back, knowing what it was, but the substance had already taken hold and made you sink into Simon's chest.

You knew where you'd be when you woke up, just not where.

You knew you'd be locked up somewhere, a dark warehouse or a cabin in a forest, but you didn't know exactly the location of these chambers.

Lo and behold, vision coming back to you, you found your answer.

Indeed, Ghost had confined you to a cabin in the woods.

A tinted window decorated the wall, bars bolted across it.

You knew Simon, and you knew nobody would be able to see in while you could see out, a peep show of freedom you'd never have again.

You suspected the doors were metal, too. Too heavy for you to open and sealed with a code or a key that only Ghost had.

Speaking of, he resided in a chair by your bedside, mask on, watching you.

The room was dark, the night not yet having ended.

He must have had this planned, you thought. Unless he's waited a whole day to wait for me to wake up.

Your heart pounded, your nerves burned.

You didn't know who should talk first. You and Simon had a system that one or the other should start a conversation based on who started one last time. A game then, an uncertain future now.

"I told you I only wanted to protect you."

Ghost's voice sent shivers up your spine. As did his mask, the white details of which barely poked through the darkness.

This wasn't your Simon, you concluded. This was a damaged man possessed by his actions - by the persona he'd fashioned for himself to protect him.

He watched you now; a protector guarding a protector.

It felt confrontational, in a way. You, the one who'd done nothing but love and care for Simon all his life, and Ghost, the phantom that took hold of him when the situation called for it.

You were his next mission.

"And I told you--" you flinched at how dry your throat was, "--that I don't need protecting."

Wordlessly, Ghost took a glass of water form the bedside table and offered it to you.

When you didn't take it, not even sparing it a glance, his eyes burned.

He growled, stood, and threw it against the wall, the glass smashing, the sound making you flinch. The intrusive thought of you walking on it flashed in your mind, making you flinch again.

No, this was not your Simon at all.

Ghost, breathing heavily, looked down at you.

Your arm was cuffed to the bed on a very short leash, giving you no way to even go to the bathroom, never mind the bedroom door.

Ghost, seemingly calmer now, eyes softening, reached a hand out towards you.

You winced at the prospect of this stranger touching you, this alternate person Simon told you about when he came back from his travels, the one who killed, bled and suffered for an unknown cause.

And now, his cause was you.

"I love you, (Y/N)." His voice was deep, almost as if his throat was as dry as yours. "I want you to know that this--" he gestured to the room, "--is only temporary."

You swallowed, pain splintering in your throat, multiplying like an infection.

With his once-outstretched hand, Ghost held your shoulder, then placed a knee on the bed.

You wanted to jump back, but Ghost's growing grip on you stole that option from you.

He lay on his side, facing you, encouraging you with a sentimental gaze to do the same.

With few options, you complied, though opted to face away from him.

He didn't seem to care, pulling you into him, encasing you with his frame.

Your position was the inverse of what it had been when you were children, when you'd tried cover Simon with as much of yourself as possible, blanketing him; as if to take the bullets that were meant for him, to absolve him of any more pain.

"It' my turn to take care of you now." Ghost said, his voice quiet yet booming in your ear. He squeezed you, punctuating his point.

"Nothing can hurt you anymore."

You're hurting me, you wanted to say, tears welling in your eyes and throat.

You willed yourself to succumb to sleep, to dream of a life wherein Ghost did not exist, and where this was only you and Simon, holding each other as you did when you were younger, dreaming of a better future.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously :-)

Masterlist

Masterpost

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pleasingsatellite · 2 years ago

Note

Bestie can write to Instagram where the reader is dating Harry and she is a person with a normal life, outside of this celebrity world, and one day Harry makes the mistake of commenting on one of the photos of the reader with his public account.

I’m just going to use harry’s actual finsta as his finsta in this post 🫶🏻 but act like no one knows it him lol

liked by yourfriend1, yourfriend2 and 372 others

yourinstagram today drained me.

view all 78 comments

yourfriend its giving dramatic

yourfriend is must be draining being so pretty, don't know how you do it every day 😐

↳yourinstagram someone has to do it 🤷🏼‍♀️

scottysakamoto yeah getting coffee and looking pretty exhausts me too, I know how you feel.

↳yourinstagram In my defence the coffee shop is like a 30 minute walk from our hotel

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 45,729 others

hsdaily harry walking around nyc today with some friends!

view all 462 comments

harryfan1 I love when my man wears a hat backwards damn 😅

harryfan2 the little curls peaking out of the sides will do it for me everytime

harryfan3 I thrive when fratrry makes a debut

harryfan4 Apparently he was spotted at a coffee shop with some girl later in the day anyone know who she is?

↳harryfan5 nope, probably just a friend

liked by yourfriend1, scottysakamoto and 289 others

yourinstagram hot girl walk of the day

view all 20 comments

yourfriend slayyyyyy

yourfriend whatcha listening to?

↳ yourinstagram this indie singer named harry styles, you probably don't know him

scottysakamoto Is this why you arent answering my texts??

↳yourinstagram oh I've been gone for like an hour calm yourself

yourfriend ya'll stress me out, harry's fans are like the FBI they're going to find his finsta eventually

↳yourinstagram hehe it's fun though, I like having a secret 🤭

liked by yourfriend1, harrystyles and 1,729 others

yourinstagram heyyyyy

view 890 comments

yourfriend damn no photo credits?

yourfriend lil miss new yorker

harrystyles come back to the arena I miss you

↳yourinstagram HARRY OMG WRONG ACCOUNT

harryfan1 omg wtf who is this why is harry commenting on her pictures?

harryfan2 shut up harry has a finsta, the scottysakamoto account is his all his friends and family follow it 😧

↳harryfan3 is this his girlfriend??? Is this who people have said they saw him with???

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 2,729,920 others

harrystyles Love on Tour. New York City V. August, 2022.

view all 11,728 comments

harryfan1 so we just not going to acknowledge the elephant in the room

harryfan2 rip singlerry, you'll be missed

harryfan3 had a whole girlfriend this entire time huh

harryfan4 you guys are so dramatic like no wonder they were so secretive

harryfan5 okay but she's really pretty too bad ya'll made her private her account

jefezoff ........call me.

liked by yourfriend1, scottysakamoto and 215 others

yourinstagram going private, thanks harry 🫶🏻

view all 37 comments

yourfriend girl I saw this coming!!!!

yourfriend at least you look really hot as you have your privacy invaded

scottysakamoto .......oops

↳ yourinstagram delete this account immediately 😐

yourfriend I can only imagine the amount of follow requests you and harry both have right now 🤭

↳ scottysakamoto I don't even think the number I'm looking at right now exists.

↳yourinstagram I had to turn my phone off from the notifications

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 34,729 others

harrysatellite I found these on y/n’s instagram before she went private they’ve been together for so long and we didn’t know at all literally how?

view all 294 comments

harryfan1 I didn't even think harry hiding a gf was possible

harryfan2 I don't know how no one found anything out until now like I'm pretty sure they've been dating for over a year

harryfan3 she's really pretty, does anyone know anything about her?

↳ harryfan4 from what I can tell she's super normal like went to college and all that

harryfan5 pretty sure they met either through mutual friends or something like that, it looks like she lives in London

harryfan6 I think everyone just assumed she worked for him when they were spotted together or if she was at his shows

Enjoy! Sometimes writing comments gets hard so this was fun getting to write from friends and harry's finsta :)

#harry styles fake social media #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles #harry styles headcannon #harry styles fic

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alittlebit0fmayhem · 2 years ago

Text

𝙻𝚊 𝚅𝚒𝚎 𝚎𝚗 𝚁𝚘𝚜𝚎

I siriusly don't know why I've chosen now to fall back into my marauders phase, mais c'est la vie...

(see what I did there?)

I've taken French for literally five years, (I'm nowhere near fluent tho) so I have no idea why it's taken me so long to incorporate it into my writing.

In all honesty, I'm doing great mentally, but I've been pining for some wolfstar! x reader angst, and I haven't really found any that meet my fancy yet soooooo.

Fine I'll do it myself.

Summary: You were a hopeless romantic who had always tended to see things through rose colored glasses, falling in love with the idea of falling in love. Each new infatuation came to you like a fascination ready to be explored, there was nothing you loved more than the head-games of an all consuming crush. That was until, the latest object of attraction became two boys so incredibly and viscerally out of your reach.

Warnings: Angst! (like a lot), Unrequited love, fluff for a mere second, tbh I feel like it is funny at moments???

Once again, if you see any formatting/grammatical errors, please let me know!

Enjoy <3

———–

It had all been fun and games, it never really mattered, until it did.

It was no secret, to your family, your friends, and least of all you. You loved falling in love.

Bi-monthly, and sometimes depending on the circumstance, bi-weekly you waltzed into the Gryffindor common room with a new tale of budding romance to share with your friends. And they'd just look at you and smile,

"Ah, our (Y/N), ever the helpless romantic." they'd say, all the while you'd confirm their statements with a blush or grin.

It was harmless, innocent, you had made quite the reputation for yourself around Hogwarts.

Anyone who got involved with you knew your tendencies, that your heart could change pace like the seasons came and went. Each boy and girl you set your sights on was like a new game of chess for your dazzling beauty and quick wits to conquer.

Which, you knew in retrospect sounded terrible, but you also knew you were young, and that relationships and love should be something to explore, not something to hold you down.

Besides, it wasn't like they didn't mean anything to you, you felt heartbreak when it was said and done with. To you, the growth and rebirth that came with romance was something equally as beautiful as the summits and triumphs.

You had a sneaking suspicion, that if the Greeks and Romans were right about their gods, you had to have been under Aphrodite's watchful eye.

Coming up on your last year of Hogwarts, you had become unbeatable. You had captured so many suitors, there were even lingering rumors of Veela tainting your blood.

Of course, they were all false, though, you'd never tell anyone otherwise. Because, what fun would that be?

You had at least one crash-and-burn love story from every house to tell, it even got to the point that people were courting you with the intention of "taming" your rampage.

Never, had there been a crush you couldn't bounce back from, no matter how close to breaking you came, you never did.

That was until you just had to go and viciously fuck yourself over.

Your thoroughly used vinyl of La Vie en Rose echoed through your dorm room as it spun for what might've been the millionth time, lyrics serving as a cruel jab toward your current situation.

Des yeux qui font baisser les miens,

You hadn't meant for it turn to out this way. For the first time in your entire life, there you sat, face stuffed into your pillow, wishing to Merlin that your heart could just bleed out of your chest.

Maybe then, it wouldn't be something you'd have to deal with, and you could forget about the prospect of falling in love together.

Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche,

It wasn't too late at all, it was just after dinner, and the rest of your dorm mates had cleared to the common room to celebrate the winning quidditch match that had transpired hours earlier.

On any usual occasion, you'd been down there with them, curled up on the couch next to Lilly, Mary, or Marlene, sipping rum-infused butter beer in content.

Instead, you were curled up alone, bathed in the dim light of your bedside candle, shivering from the cold.

Your blanket had fallen half down your body nearly fifteen minutes ago, and yet, the last thing on your mind was pulling it back up.

Voila le portrait sans retouches,

You had made some lame excuse as to why you would be exempt from tonight's actives, claiming you wanted to brush up on your divination for the exam at the end of the week.

Everyone had bought it, too high on youthful excitement and laughter to stop once more and examine the dark circles under your eyes.

De l'homme auquel j'appartiens,

As you stuffed your face further into the cotton pillowcase, you desperately wished the ground would open up and take you somewhere dark and quiet. Somewhere you could forget that you existed, so you could stop feeling like such a horrible human being.

Your mind had been clouded with buzzing jumbled thoughts for what felt like hours, never ceasing to give you a moment to rest. You surely thought your ears would start bleeding from how hard you had been thinking all day.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,

You had now reached a point, with your uniform discarded haphazardly on the floor, and the sleep shirt you garnered swallowing you whole, where your brain had become filled with white noise.

The only coherent thought you could form right now, was how the hell did I get here?

Il me parle l'a tout bas,

Which of course, led you back into a rabbit hole of memories.

Je vois,

la vie en rose...

The infirmary's visiting hours were long over, the only company you had to keep was the first year who had fallen out of a tree that was sleeping in the cot next to you.

You should've been fast asleep by now, but you couldn't bring yourself to count a single sheep.

You weren't there for any real injury, a prank the boys had pulled a few hours earlier had backfired, and you had gotten the brunt of their mistake.

What was supposed to be a "pimple-inducing glitter rocket" (you had no idea how they got so creative) headed straight for Severus Snape, was quickly dogged by the intended victim, and who else was so lucky to be standing a few feet behind him, but you?

After a quick potion, you were fine, but you felt a little nauseous from the drink, and a little woozy from all the excitement, so you decided to stay there for the night.

A decision you were vastly regretting, as it was coming up on midnight and you had absolutely nothing to do.

You had resorted to trying to write a letter to a boy you broke up with two days prior, he had left on quite a sour note, and truthfully you felt a bit awful for him.

It wasn't necessarily his fault, like many prior partners, you'd just grown uninterested. You figured you should at least leave him a note apologizing for the entire ordeal, even if it did get left in the bin.

That would've been great and all, only, you had no bloody idea what to write.

This had to have been the fourth page of parchment you had crumbled up and discarded next to you. With the thin sheet from the hospital bed drawn over you, you sat dumbfounded, cross-legged with a small, pink, dancing flame next to your quill.

You had started writing the beginning sentence, but then again, nothing came to mind after that. Your regularly admired face was scrunched up deep in thought, your nightgown slipping down one shoulder as you held the feather deep in concentration.

You re-read what you already had, and decided to just follow up with whatever came to mind. Perhaps, you were thinking too hard.

After much consideration, you began writing once more,

"I'm sorry I got bored of you-" scratch. Nope, that was dreadful, this was a lost cause, and you were wretched.

You huffed dismally, with no regard for the boy sleeping only a few feet away, and just as you prepared to snuff the light out, and try to achieve some shut-eye, you heard it.

You heard the door to the hospital wing slowly squeak open.

You paused, who would be coming in at this hour?

You turned to the small flame dancing on the candle seated next to you and snuffed it with a pinch before grabbing your wand which was next to it.

"Lumos." You whispered, as a small orb of light spouted from the end of your wand, you dragged the sheet off your form.

You looked around the hospital wing, from the dozing first year to the grand windows that lined both walls, and finally, to the door.

Though open, no one besides you and the boy seemed to be in the room.

But you were raised by wizards and were best friends with the most ruthless tricksters Hogwarts had ever seen, so you know better than to glance only at surface level.

Slowly, you turned and lowered your feet onto the cold stone floor.

As you tip-toed around your bed, eyes squinting and wand raised high, you spoke aloud.

"Who's there?" Apart from the echo of your voice, and the murmurs from the boy next to you who stirred slightly, silence.

You stepped forward a few more paces so that you were in the center of the room.

"Show yourself!" You spoke slightly louder and turned in all directions as if hoping to catch any movement.

Nothing.

You sighed, perhaps you were just a lunatic, and the door had blown open on its own. You turned to walk back to your bed, and just as you took one step, you were interrupted by what nearly made you shit yourself.

"Hello, dear."

A voice cut through the air next to you, and you screamed on pure instinct.

Well, you would've, if not for the hand shooting out of the darkness to cover your mouth. You swung your wand in the direction of your assailant and were met with a sight completely unexpected.

Remus Lupin's big brown eyes, illuminated by your wand stared back at you. Or rather, down at you.

The significantly taller boy was heaving, his ruffled oaky hair falling slightly in his face, which held an expression that suggested you had scared him. The light traced his scars, and his large, cut-covered hand closed around almost the whole bottom half of your face.

You couldn't help but think; how pretty Remus Lupin looked at that moment.

He gulped, a smile tugging at his lips as his expression shifted into one of slight amusement, "Alright love, I'm going to remove my hand now, and you are going to promise me you won't scream at us."

His voice was a soft whisper and reminded you of the rocky seashore you used to visit every summer with your parents when you were little.

It sent a shiver down your spine, had it always had that effect?

You then reconsidered his wording, Us? Your eyes shifted to his right, and there you were met with an even more surprising sight.

Sirius Black stood with one hand in his pocket, and the other clenching James Potter's invisibility cloak.

"Of course." You thought.

He stood with an air of relaxation like he always did. His annoyingly beautiful face was drawn in mirth, though far more sheening than Remus'.

His brows were raised, and his eyes regarded your appearance with what could only be described as mischief, as a feathery strand of his rebellious raven hair dipped between his eyes.

He winked at you after you had seemed to stare for a little too long, causing you to snap out of your bewilderment, and look back to Remus, who remained rooted in the same spot looking at you expectantly.

You nodded at him, holding his gaze, which seemed far too intense for a boy his age. For whatever reason, he nodded back.

He removed his hand, and just as he did, you swatted it away and stepped back.

"What in Merlin's name are you both doing here?! You scared the hell out of me!" You whisper-shouted at the pair. The two boys smiled youthfully at you in response.

Sirius finally swaggered forward, and past you, not refraining from brushing against you as he did. He turned and plopped down on your bed, discarding James' cloak next to him.

In his natural air of arrogance, he leaned back on his palms and lolled his head to the side, grinning up at you.

"We thought our girl could use some company, didn't we Moony?"

Against your better judgment, you rolled your eyes and swayed to look at Remus, who remained smiling down at you.

Annoyingly, a smile of your own made its way onto your face.

It was no secret that out of the group you, Sirius, and Remus were close in a way that the others weren't.

I mean, of course, the boys, and you and the girls would always be close in your respective ways, but for some reason, you three just seemed to click in a weird, and almost perfect way.

It wasn't like they called any other girl in the friend group "their girl", and it wasn't like you'd go through the animagus process for just anyone.

Remus bit his tongue, his eyes flickered from Sirius', and back to yours before he nodded once more.

Suddenly, he pulled his wand from his pocket and lit a candle on a bedside table across the room, so that your wand could be lowered and placed gingerly in the pocket of your nightgown.

As he returned his wand to his pocket all the same, he stepped forward and took both your hands in his own, swinging them back and forth idly, "Yeah, that and we wanted to apologize again for being the reason you're in here in the first place."

"Even though it was James' idea to begin with!" Sirius' voice beckoned from behind you.

Remus shot him a glare over your head before looking back down at you and rolling his eyes, swiping his thumb gently across the back of your hand, "Yes," he droned begrudgingly, "even though."

You bit your bottom lip while grinning in an attempt to conceal the laughter rising in your throat.

You released one of his hands, still gripping the other as you spun yourself around and face Sirius, who was now sitting cross-legged on the bed.

You couldn't help the content sigh that escaped your lips as you regarded the look of merriment and genuineness that graced Sirius' face.

You took turns looking between both boys before saying, "Consider yourselves forgiven, though I have a feeling that wasn't the only thing you came for."

"You'd be right to assume, Lovebug," Remus responded. Another thing, there wasn't a soul on the planet save for Remus and Sirius who called you Lovebug.

It was a title fashioned for your romantic tendencies, and it suited you quite well.

Sirius suddenly hopped to a stand, before taking his wand to poke the sleeping boy's foot ever so slightly, "We are taking you to the astronomy tower, to watch the crescent moon." He said nonchalantly, you scoffed in disbelief.

"Right now? But Sirius I'm in a bloody nightgown, not to mention barefoot, and all my things-"

You were cut off by Remus, whose arms had suddenly wrapped around your shoulders, "Relax darling, we'll have you back before the sun rises, maybe we'll even take your things and you back to the dorm where you belong."

You chuffed, "But-"

"As for the nightgown and lack of shoes, we can assure you, love, you look absolutely smashing in it, and have cute enough feet for it not to be too grotesque." Sirius winked.

You sighed and tried to ignore the light blush that settled across your cheeks, drowned out by the darkness.

You groaned petulantly like a child as you struggled to come up with a counterpoint, and leaned into Remus' lankily muscular build.

"C'mon Darling, it's your favorite moon cycle, and we know you must be bored to tears."

You froze as Remus' smooth voice resonated against the shell of your ear, his breath fanning over you slightly.

It was then you became aware of just how dipped in his scent you were, it completely engulfed you, the smell of pinewood, candle wax, and parchment.

You cleared your throat, before Sirius interjected once more, "Evidently, by the literary devices she's turned to to cope."

Your eyes widened, as your headshot over to Sirius, who had now grabbed and held the parchment you had forgotten you left on your bed.

His hair created a curtain around his face as he leaned over to read it, still though you could make out the shit-eating grin on his face as he did so.

"Dear Callum, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from at the moment, but I'm sorry I got bored of you-" He read aloud in a high-pitched voice before he broke down into laughter.

You wrenched out of Remus' hold before surging forward and snatching the paper from his hand and shoving him slightly.

"Give me that you oaf!" You hissed lowly.

He snicked and pulled you into a hug, "Oh come now, you know I'm only joking lovely, please don't leave me! I promise never to bore you!" He sang, you elbowed him in rebuttal.

"Alright, fine! FINE! I will go, will you stop it now?!" You snapped, his laughter eventually died down as he hummed and looked down at you.

You craned your neck to meet his gaze, "Ah, knew you'd come around Lovebug, right then off we go!" He announced before spinning you and setting you down on the ground.

You watched as he practically skipped over to Remus, before grabbing the boy by the jaw and pulling him into a simple kiss.

Yet another symbol of your closeness, you were one of the only ones who knew that the two were more than just friends.

Remus hummed before returning the kiss and pulling away.

Sirius leaned into his neck, "Told you she'd come around Moony."

Remus licked his lips and gave you a half-lidded once over, not even he could contain the dim beam that spread across his face.

"Course she did, she's our girl after all." He mused.

In an instant, the smile dropped from your face.

It was then, for the first time in a long time, you felt something. Like a punch in the gut, one that you knew familiarly, but not to this extent.

The air in your lungs seemed to leave you all at once, as a cold hotness spread over you.

Your vision began to tunnel, as your ears filled with wind, and you became all too aware of the sweat that coated your palms.

"No," you thought, "no way."

Your heartbeat quickened, and you desperately hoped that with Remus' advanced senses, he couldn't hear it.

There was no way this was happening, not to you, not right now.

It was such a simple sentence, one you were sure he and Sirius had uttered to you before, so why did it ignite this feeling in you?

Why, did you have to have such a reaction, and why now?

You wiped the sweat that sprouted from your palms on your nightgown and could feel some new form on the nape of your neck.

It felt as though the air of comfortability from earlier had evaporated, replaced with a thick blanket of awkwardness and anxiety, at least on your part.

The boys you had leaned into so carelessly before, had now become the two people you wanted to be furthest from.

You knew this feeling, you knew what it was, and normally, you'd welcome it like an old friend. But not this time, not for them.

Why, did it have to be them?

"(Y/N)" Sirius' question shook you from your state of silent panic. You blinked and swallowed a thick glob of your saliva.

"Yeah?" Your voice was far less even than it had been a second ago, it wavered and shook much without you meaning it to.

The boys looked at you with confusion drawn over their expressions, "You ready to go?" Remus said as if you were some dimwitted puppy.

Your eyelids flickered, and you took a deep breath. "Yeah, sorry, I just zoned out, must be the after-effects of the potion." You lied through your teeth.

They nodded at you, still seeming suspicious of your behavior but not questioning the matter further.

Each boy extended a hand, and you almost let out a shattered sigh as you slowly stepped forward and took each hand in your own.

As you three began walking to the door, and you plastered a smile on your face, you began to hear your voice screaming inside your head.

In an instant, you knew what you had done.

You'd just gone and fallen in love with two boys you knew you couldn't have.

That exchange had transpired a week ago, and ever since then, you'd been spiraling.

You felt hot tears gather in your eyes as you recounted it redundantly. In your mind, there were layers to how fucked up this was.

You can't like two people at once, that's utterly selfish. You berated yourself, especially since those two people are dating each other, not to mention two boys! Not to mention even more two boys that just so happen to be your best friends!

You groaned as you rubbed your temples, blinking back the tears.

Any logical, normal person would've taken the high road, and just silently waited until this infatuation passed.

But as you were reminded incessantly, you were the furthest from logical, or normal.

The longer you lingered with this knowledge, the more unbearable it became.

Every moment you spent trying not to think about Sirius or Remus, was another moment in which your little crush turned into a full-blown obsession.

At first, you had resigned to pretending as if nothing was amiss, forcing smiles and hoping they couldn't tell. But every day you felt your resolve weakening, and so as of today, you had completely avoided them at all costs.

Then, you just had to let your friends drag you to that stupid quidditch match.

You had managed to sit as far from Remus as possible and tried to push through through the awkwardness, which worked for awhile, and then the world had to go and give you another slap in the face.

After James had caught the snitch, you were dealt the misfortune of locking eyes with Sirius, who, high on excitement as he was, decided to beam at you, and blow you a fucking kiss.

Damn Sirius Black for being the natural flirt he was, and damn his stupidly perfect face.

You knew in hindsight it was just Sirius being Sirius, he was head over heels for Remus.

It's not like he knew how much he made your heart flutter from that simple act alone.

But the side effects of it were damning, and whilst you got by with averting eye contact and keeping to yourself for the walk back to the castle, you refused to risk a much more obvious reaction given the boys pull anything else.

You sighed, again, as you shut your eyes and listened to the last lyric that played from your vinyl.

Et, dès que je l'apercois, alors je sens en moiI, mon coeur qui bat...

You bit the inside of your cottoned mouth, and gulped sending a sting down your dry throat.

Your favorite song was beginning to sound like torture every time you translated its meaning in your head.

Yes, you thought bitterly, I see life through rose-colored glasses, and look where that's got me now.

Finally, you opened your eyes. God, your side of the dorm was a mess, Lily was going to kill you.

Not that it wouldn't be deserved, you shot at yourself.

With all the remaining strength in your body, you pushed yourself off your bed. The needle on your record player had finally reached the center of the vinyl, meaning it was time for you to get up and move it again.

As your feet landed on the cold floor, you winced, rolling your ankles to re-attune your body to movement.

After a moment you stood, not missing the blackness that pinched at your view from your lightheaded state. You began to walk across the room, ignoring the cries that sounded from your locked joints.

Your brain felt fuzzy, and your movements were reduced to emotionless and empty.

You stopped in front of the table on which your record player sat, and lifted a weak, trembling hand to the needle.

And as you picked up, and moved it to the edge, allowing the song to replay once more, you heard the startling sound of the door creaking open.

You didn't bother to look at her, instead, you closed your eyes and inhaled in preparation for what was to come.

"Godrick, (Y/N) the room's a mess, what have you been doing all this time?!"

Lily's maternal croon should've at least offered a morsel of comfort, and yet, all it did was cause more tears to sting the corners of your eyes.

Your ears filled with ocean sounds as Lily began to parade around the room, picking up all your discarded articles of clothing, too lost in her own ramblings to notice the air of gloom that hung over you.

You bit your lip as you shut your eyes tightly, trying desperately to keep any more tears from running freely down your rosy cheeks.

Lily had this way about her, she was too comforting, too emotion-invoking.

You wished she would've just stayed downstairs for one more hour, at least then you would've more had time to collect yourself.

But she didn't, she was here, and she was going to witness you in the state that you were; raw, terrified, and utterly humiliated.

Your mind had turned into a wind tunnel of thoughts and feelings, preventing you from noticing how Lily had halted her movements and slighted her gaze to your now shaking form.

"(Y/N)? Lovie? Are you alright?"

You opened your eyes and looked up at the ceiling for one moment, teeth biting down harder on your trembling lip.

Finally, you turned and met her head-on.

Lily gasped in spite of herself, "Oh, Y/N." she whispered, brows stitched in worry, emerald eyes widening.

Before you could blink, she was on you. Lean arms enclosing your figure, one placed comfortingly behind your head, the other wrapped around your waist.

"Darling, what's happened?" Her soft voice resonated in your ear.

You couldn't bring yourself to respond, burrowing your head in her shoulder, shaking it slightly.

Your arms had returned the embrace tenfold, hands grasping her sweater tightly like she was the only thing in the universe holding you together at that moment.

Before you could stop yourself, soft hiccups began to escape you, and it was then, as Lily pulled away and began to wipe at the wetness under your eyes, you realized, you had to tell her.

You allowed yourself to be guided to her side of the room and sat down on her plush, quilted bed.

Blinking through tears you tried to focus on Lilly's concerned face, as she pushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, and took your hand.

"Y/N, please, tell me what's the matter." Lily begged quietly as she smoothed her thumb over the back of your hand.

The moonlight from the window above her bed was nearly the only thing that illuminated the space around you, sheening on your variability, and exposing your flaws.

Your eyes flickered as you took a deep breath and attempted to collect your thoughts, and organize them into something, anything, clear enough to be spoken aloud.

"I..." Your voice quietly resonated, coarse and croaky from hours of wailing and weeping. You fought against the tightness in your throat, encouraged by Lily's soft eyes, and comforting presence.

After a moment, you cleared your throat and tried again.

You began with a sigh, focusing on the way Lily smelled of vanilla, allowing her scent to calm your flurrying mind.

"Lily," you said, much quieter this time, "I've done something terrible."

Lily's brows furrowed once more, in confusion this time. "What can you mean?" she replied, ever inquisitive and eager.

You inhaled and exhaled slowly, here it goes.

You gripped her hand like it was your lifeline, "I've..." you paused.

"I've fallen in love again."

Quiet settled over the room, blanketing the two girls.

Lily blinked, face going blank.

Before she could stop herself, a snort escaped from her mouth. Her demeanor of worry was now replaced with one of disbelief and wry amusement.

"You must be joking, seriously (Y/N)? That's all this is about? another silly little fling?" She teased, now finding this entire situation utterly ironic.

You huffed, frustration becoming your face. "No," You interjected, voice strained and tight.

"It's not- God, it's not that I've fallen in love again, it's with who!"

Lily raised a brow, squinting, lip quirking. "Right then," she teased, "Tell me, who is the soul lucky enough to hold your affections?"

You were glaring and lifting yourself off the bed in an instant. Bitterness bitting at your tongue.

"Forget it." You bit.

Lily sighed and grasped your hand before you could get even two steps. "(Y/N)," she groaned in defeat, feeling instant guilt as more tears glided down your chin.

"I'm sorry, that was cruel of me. You can tell me, and I won't make fun of you."

You eyed the redhead suspiciously, "Promise?" You quipped. Lily smiled, "Promise."

You bit the inside of your cheek and returned to your spot on the bed.

You huffed and picked away at some of the skin around your fingernails anxiously. "You really promise not to judge?" you mumbled, looking up at her through your wet lashes.

Lily nodded, "I promise lovie, you can tell me." her smile was the reassurance you needed, but it didn't lessen the ache in your heart.

You shut your eyes, annoyed at the feeling of more tears gushing down your neck.

You covered your face in your palms, before admitting out loud the confession you'd been reckoning with for days.

"I fucked up," you said through tears as you lifted your eyes to meet Lily's, "I've fallen in love with Remus Lupin," you watched Lily's eyes turn into saucers, "And, Sirius fucking Black."

In any other situation, you would've laughed at how Lily's jaw fell open, but this was no laughing matter. Her hand flew to hover above her mouth, and for the first time in all that you've known her, Lily Evans had been rendered speechless.

And you, were growing more anxious by the moment. Tears were now fully cascading down your face, sobs and hiccups wrenching from your throat.

"Say something!" You begged, her silence was making you feel worse by the second.

Lily jumped, broken out of her state of shock. She closed and open her mouth, trying to find the right words, before she so eloquently settled on,

"Merlin's fuck, (Y/N)."

You cried harder if that was even possible.

"I know, I know, it's horrible isn't it?" You whined.

After a week of keeping this all bottled up, it was now all coming crashing down on you.

You felt your heart ripping at the seams, in such a short period of time, these boys had suddenly had the most magnifying attraction you had felt.

You felt so utterly stupid, had you always liked them? Did it just so happen that that fateful night was your moment of realization?

Either way, neither explanation lessened your suffocating distress.

As you let your head fall into your hands, Lily grabbed your shoulders, rubbing them up and down encouragingly.

"Well, I won't lie to you sweetheart, it doesn't look amazing." She winced, resolving to pull your sobbing body to hers, wrapping her arms around you once more.

Lily knew the weight of this situation, because she knew Remus and Sirius, more especially, the relationship the two shared.

"When did you find this out?" She asked softly.

You sniffed, "A week ago, I think? Oh Merlin, maybe I've always known but was never ready to admit it to myself."

Lily sighed thoughtfully, before replying. "Well, do you want to tell them?"

You thought for a moment, before shaking your head in defeat.

"It's no use Lils, even in my wildest dreams, they're out of my reach. I can't have them, and the fact that I even want them makes me feel like the biggest arsehole in the world."

Lily stayed quiet as you continued your rant, allowing you to verbalize all the feelings that had been festering in your heart.

"Godrick, they're so perfect for each other, it's almost unreal. You've seen them together, they look as if they were made for each other. Not only that, but they fought so hard for the right to be together. And who the hell am I to come in here and even consider ruining that? I must be the most selfish girl in the world."

You felt your heart break a little more with each word, but you couldn't stop yourself, you had to let these thoughts surface.

"They trusted me," you sobbed, "every deep, grimy secret that they had no obligation to share, they trusted me enough to tell. All they've ever wanted from me was a friend, someone to be their home, and now I've gone and ruined it."

"You don't know that-" Lily tried, but you interrupted before she could even finish the sentence.

"Yes, I do! You know how I get Lily, even about simple crushes they become all I can think about. I will not be able to stop thinking about them, and every single time they feel comfortable enough to be affectionate in front of me, I'll break all over again."

Finally, you paused and took a deep breath.

"There is absolutely no situation in which this can turn out alright for me."

Lily felt her heartache for you as she assessed the sheer pain in your voice.

However, this situation was difficult, because she had to consider Remus and Sirius' well-being too.

She tapped a finger on the bare skin of your arm. "You know what I think?" She finally said.

You lifted your head and met her calculating eyes with your own. "What?" you asked pathetically.

Lily rotated her jaw, "I think, that this situation is much bigger than you or I, so before we go making blind assumptions, we need to let Remus and Sirius speak for themselves."

She paused, "(Y/N), I know you're scared, but you have to tell them."

You inhaled deeply, eyes flickering with fear.

You were scared, terrified actually. But, the more you thought about it, the more you realized what you had known all this time.

Lily was right, they needed to know.

You couldn't just disappear from their lives without giving them a floor to speak their peace, it wasn't right.

Doing that, you decided, would truly be the cruelest thing you could possibly do.

You huffed, before blinking away the last of your tears and taking a moment to wipe the mess off your face.

Lily sat and watched you as you began to collect yourself, leaning on her own arm for support.

After a moment, when you felt as though you were moderately put together, you shook your hands out and breathed deeply for that last time.

You looked to Lily, there were still a million questions you wished could be answered, but for tonight, as you checked the clock and saw it was coming up on 1:00 A.M., you settled for just one.

"Do you think they realize I've been avoiding them?" You cringed.

Lily opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

"(Y/N) (L/N), you open this door right now, or so help me Merlin, I will blow it down!" Sirius' muffled yell sounded from the other side of the aged wood.

Then, Remus chimed in. "You know he'll do it love, so there's no use in fighting."

You froze, and for a moment as Lily's expression turned into that of a deer in headlights, you thought maybe the whole universe froze with you.

Your blood ran cold as they continued raving about their usual nonsense, and as you saw the door handle rattle, you and Lily finally spoke in unison.

"Oh, fuck."

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mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess · 2 years ago

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AITA for getting punched in the face?

So I (16, M) am betrothed to a girl (16, F) I don't really like but my mom and her mom made the arrangement before we were born and neither of our dads (or us) get much say in this because our moms are scary.

Anyway, I really don't like this girl. She's just average and the only reason we're supposed to marry is because our moms are sworn sisters and we're from powerful, noble families. Not to brag, but I'm exceptionally good-looking and highly skilled, and I don't think a girl so meek and ordinary would be fit for me at all.

I don't see the point of hiding my disdain for her. Anyone with a good pair of eyes can see how different I am from her and there is no point in me pretending I feel any different about her.

To preface, I don't think I'm the asshole and I want to prove I'm not the only one who thinks that.

Onto the story:

Some friends were talking about pretty girls and such, and since I don't necessarily care for those discussions, I kept silent. One of them then mentioned I am not saying anything because I am already in love with my forced fiancee and see no other girls as interesting.

I simply responded like I did above: that I find her unappealing and she's not at all my type. Which prompted her almost-brother (long story, but the guy isn't even adopted in the family, just hangs out around them and somehow ended up as head disciple) to punch me in the face. Hard.

I am not weak at all but the hit took me by surprise and led to me walking around with a swollen face for several days. The guy got punished but not without him and my fiancee's actual brother both calling me an asshole.

Could you all convince them I am NTA once and for all?

Edit 1: To update you all, I actually did marry my fiancee (not resulting from the arranged marriage, it was annuled and then we ended up falling in love on our own) and she's an amazing, kind and beautiful person with whom I am going to have a son in a few months.

I was an arrogant, annoying, entitled, incel-esque piece of shit two years ago but thankfully, I got better and am on the way of becoming a decent person and hopefully a good father!!

I love my wife very much and I regret I didn't treat her right from the start, but I now have the rest of my life to make it up to her although I know she has already forgiven me anyway.

Growth is a wonderful thing and I think everyone should embrace it. I used to really hate my life and resent my parents for the environment they have raised me in as an arranged marriage couple that was never really happy. I thought the same would happen to me and I projected all of that onto my wife for no reason - but now I am happily married and feel so loved and appreciated that I can't help but model after my wife's kindness and good character.

Edit 2: My son just came into the world a few days ago. He is happy and healthy and I am fighting with my wife about who gets to hold him more!! I can't wait for his one month celebration, I'll try to make up with my wife's brothers and make sure my son has all his uncles in his life! I'll update you all with pictures after the event!

Last updated: 15 years ago

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #writing attempts #jzx #i love writing posts like this and i also spend too much time on aita

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tomanpeach · 3 years ago

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the daddyfication of ran haitani

a/n: 18+!!!! nsfw!!! i got this request for hiding a pregnancy from ran and went cuckoo bananas this is gonna be multiple parts OOPS!!! please enjoy!!! ((for context, this is in the same world as boyfriendified ran!!))

content: unprotected sex, shower sex, mentions of vomit, pregnancy, lil bit angsty!!!

word count: 2.6k

ran's pacing in his office, exerting a significant amount of energy trying not to appear visibly upset by your phone call. across the room sat rindou and kakucho, who he'd been having a glass of whiskey and a nice chat with to celebrate the end of the work week before you called.

"baby?" your voice reminds him he hasn't responded to you yet.

"uh," he forces out the sound. "sure. that's fine. no dinner tonight. what did you say's goin' on?"

"i think i have food poisoning," you sigh, clearly exhausted. "i've been throwing up since i got home. they catered lunch at work today, maybe it was that."

"i should kill that caterer for ruining a night with my girl."

he's no more than 70% serious. probably.

you laugh into the phone and he turns his back to his brother and kakucho so they won't see the way he's smiling at the sound.

"thank you for that, but it won't be necessary. can we try for date night tomorrow?"

"'course," ran nods his head, hoping his tone didn't give away how disappointed he was to not be seeing you in the next hour like he'd planned.

"you sound sad," you sigh. he should've known you'd see right through him, you knew him better than anyone. "i'm sorry, baby. i'm sad about it, too."

"it's alright, babe," he starts back toward his seat. "really it is. i'll call you later? love you."

he hangs up and drops back into his chair, lifting the whiskey to his lips. rindou gives him a curious look. "my girl's got food poisoning," he explains simply, reaching for the bottle. "anyone up for another round?"

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the food poisoning leaves you feeling a bit weak for the rest of the weekend, waves of nausea occasionally hitting you, but nothing as serious as when you'd called off friday date night.

you take it easy throughout the week, even calling out of work the next friday to get an extra day to really rest. ran takes the day off, too, so you can spend a whole long weekend together. and by friday morning, you're feeling good. so good that you're happily pressed against the cool tiles of the shower wall as ran thrusts his cock inside you.

the wet sounds of your pussy contracting around him are drowned out by the water running from the shower head, and you only hear ran's heavy, panting breaths because they're right in your ear. "fuck, you're so wet for me," he grunts. "look how easy i'm goin' in. love bein' in this tight little cunt."

"m-missed this so much," you whimper, nails digging into his back where you're holding onto him. it's only been a week since you'd last had sex, you wanted to be cautious about exerting yourself after being so sick, but even one celibate week for the two of you felt like months. ran chuckles in your ear, loving knowing that you long for moments like these the same way he does, and speeds up the motions of his hips.

you cry out, voice carrying through the apartment. at this angle, every stroke has his tip striking a spot inside your velvety walls that's making your head spin. "fuckin' cum around me," his words come out through gritted teeth. "squeeze my fuckin' cock the way i like it. need you to cum."

he hoists you up a bit higher on the wall, shifting your body onto one arm so his other hand is free to seek out your clit. as he rubs against the sensitive nub fervently, it hardly takes another minute before you're unraveling, toes curling, moaning loudly as you cum.

"shit, just like that," his hips stutter, the feeling of your slick cunt shuddering around his length always bringing him right to the edge of his own orgasm. your moans are only getting louder as you get more sensitive and the continued drag of his cock in your walls threatens to be too much for you.

"too much, ran," you whine. and just like that, his hips still for a moment as he releases in hot ropes deep inside you. he fucks his hips up a few more times, pumping his cum deeper, mind going a little cloudy as he comes down from his own pleasure. you squirm in his arms, kissing all over his face as he gently pulls out and sets you onto your feet.

"stop cumming inside me, perv," you tease after you've caught your breath. ran throws his head back and laughs.

"yeah right," he steals a quick kiss. "you love it too much."

you giggle and roll your eyes, reaching for the shower head so you can start cleaning up the mess he made between your legs. ran offers his arm to you for balance as you get to work.

suddenly you don't feel good at all. it's like a switch flips, the feeling coming over you so quickly you almost panic, shoving the shower head into ran's hands and almost slipping in your hurry to get out of the shower.

you barely make it to the toilet before you're heaving. the shower turns off behind you, followed by the sound of ran's wet feet on the tile. he wraps a towel around his waist then drapes one over you, rubbing your back through the fluffy material in absolute silence.

when the nausea passes, you flush the toilet and tug the towel tighter around your shoulders. your legs feel like jello, you doubt you have the strength to stand. so you plop to your butt, sitting cross legged on the floor and looking up at ran where he stands beside you.

finally, he clears his throat to speak. "was that my fault somehow??" what the fuck just happened?" he looks like a deer in headlights.

"how would it be your fault?" you smile weakly, reaching out for him.

he doesn't return the expression, but takes your hand, squeezing tightly. concern is written all over his face, mixed with something else you can't quite read.

ran plops down onto the floor beside you, examining you with too much intensity. he lays the back of his hand across your forehead, frowns, and drops it into his lap.

"stop looking at me like that."

"are you kidding me? i'm fuckin' worried about you," his eyebrows knit together. "one minute i'm fucking you in the shower, next minute you're throwing up, i'm not supposed to be a little fuckin' concerned?"

"you're yelling."

ran hadn't noticed. he usually didn't when he got emotional. it was something he'd been trying to work on, now that he had a girlfriend he loved and had been dating for just over a year. keeping himself in check was never very ran, but he tries his hardest for you. he inhales a sharp breath, forcing himself to calm down.

"i guess i'm still sick," you finally say.

"no way it's food poisoning then," his eyes narrow, skeptical but concerned.

"then what it is?" you sigh, pushing off the floor to try and get to your feet. ran jumps to help you up and you shrug him off, a bit too roughly by accident. "i'm fine," you snap. he stares at you, trying to read your mind. he decides not to comment on your sudden out of character hostility.

"we should get you some fuckin' medicine or somethin," he walks out to the bedroom. "get dressed."

you suck in a shaky breath and follow him into his room. he tosses a pair of your jeans onto the bed from his closet. then a t-shirt. you can't tell if it's yours or his but it'll work. you pull it over your head and toss the wet towel to the floor.

ran gets himself dressed while you step into the jeans and tug them up. you hesitate, blinking back at yourself in the mirror. the pants gape open at the waist, making you frown in confusion. what the fuck... why are they so... tight...

you try only once to fasten the button but give up immediately when the denim refuses to give. this was absolutely not the moment to find out you'd gained weight. like there wasn't enough making you feel like shit today. ran's weird fuckin' attitude, your stomach betraying you, the way the room hadn't stopped spinning since you'd stood up... it was all too much for one day. you don't even realize you've started crying until you hear your own choked sobs fill the room.

ran is frozen at his closet, watching you with wide eyes, and you feel so fucking stupid, bawling in his bedroom for no apparent reason, in your undone jeans.

"what's wrong?" he asks cautiously, approaching like you're an injured animal. "you don't feel good?"

"i-i don'wanna w-wear je-e-eans!" you wail, collapsing into his arms. he holds you tightly to his chest as you cry, rubbing your back but not saying a word. large hands cup your cheeks and ran presses his lips to your forehead. he looks you in the eyes, "you do not have to wear fuckin' jeans." for some reason the tenderness in his eyes, the patience he's showing you through this outburst, it just makes you cry harder. this time, though, he laughs. you hold him tightly around his middle as he reaches down to slide your jeans back down over your ass and down your thighs.

at that moment your stomach flutters. a warning.

"oh fuck," you shove away from him, kicking off your pants frantically and running back to the bathroom to throw up yet again.

------------------------------------------------------------------

this time, though, it doesn't stop. in fact, your vomiting just gets more persistent. ran is pacing through his apartment–no, he's practically jogging laps with how nervous he is– cursing wildly at a very patient emergency services operator who was completely undeserving of being caught in the crossfire of his panic.

"babe, do you need a fuckin' ambulance?" ran appears in the bathroom door, hand covering the lower half of his phone. you respond in a weak mnh, shrugging your shoulders before your head is back in the toilet. "yeah, send it over. pukey's not gettin' in my fuckin' bugatti." despite the way your body is violently rejecting the contents of your stomach, you manage to scowl at him. "i'll pay. i love you so fuckin' much," he mouths, eyebrows drooping apologetically.

if you didn't feel so awful, you probably would've laughed. ran was, after all, agreeing to pay $2500 for a fifteen minute ambulance ride so he wouldn't risk getting even a drop of something gross on the interior of his precious car.

the longer your nausea persists, the more time seems to blur together. it was somewhere between 10 minutes and an hour when ran came in with sweatpants and pulled them up your legs. and another 5–55 minutes later, the EMTs arrived to help you out of ran's apartment.

you send ran a look that you hope says this is so fucking dramatic and then you're in the ambulance, ran right by your side.

the emergency room nurses quickly assess your situation (looking rough, actively vomiting into one of the ambulance's barf bags) and hurry you into a room. an iv is started, a pill is swallowed down. you quickly start to feel normal again.

ran stands threateningly in the corner with his arms folded across his chest, saying nothing. a nurse comes in to run some tests and promises that a doctor will be in soon to talk with you. as soon as you're alone in the room, ran is at your side, sitting at the edge of your bed protectively.

"maybe it's just plain old sickness," you lay your head back against the pillows, exhausted from the events of the day but grateful to be having a conversation without getting sick in the middle. "stomach flu or something."

"fuck that," he grimaces. "i hate bein' sick, you better stay away from me."

you roll your eyes at him, "like you would ever let me if i tried." he flashes you a grin, adoration in his eyes. he takes your hand that's resting on the mattress, bringing it to his lips. your hand tightens around his when you feel him trembling.

"ran."

his eyes meet yours. the concerned, fearful look you'd seen earlier has been clouding his face since he made the call to the ER.

you squeeze his hand, kiss his knuckles, "why don't you go have a cigarette, honey? you're so tense."

"my fuckin' girl is in a hospital bed," he replies through gritted teeth. "of course i'm fuckin' tense."

"i know, my love, but look! i'm okay," you soothe, hoping your face is convincing enough. "i've got my fluids, they did their tests. i'm already feeling much better. you're shaking, hon. go have a smoke, feel better, and by then i'm sure we'll be ready to head home."

ran eyes you warily. the last thing he wants is to be away from you right now. but he had to admit, you knew him really fucking well. you could tell his anxiety was heightened tenfold because he hadn't gotten his nicotine fix in the last couple hours with everything going on. with a heaving sigh, he leans down to wrap you in his arms tightly.

ran wasn't a hugger usually, so you relaxed into the rare embrace, savoring the action. "this is nice," you mumble, tone nearly teasing. "fuck off," he grumbles, kissing your forehead. "i fuckin' hate this shit. i hate you being sick, hospitals fuckin' scare me. i-"

"ran," you chuckle.

"fuck, fine! i'm going."

almost immediately after ran leaves the doctor comes in. she's an older woman with light hair and kind eyes. "how do you feel?" she asks sweetly.

"much better," you tell her with a grin. "but i'd really like to know where that came from."

"was that man who left your husband?"

you shake your head, "my boyfriend." weird question, you think.

"are you sexually active?"

you nod, not particularly enjoying this line of questioning.

"do you practice safe sex?"

"like, uh–" you clear your throat.

"do you use protection?" she clarifies. your silence is enough answer for her.

"any mood swings lately?" she continues. "weight gain? headaches? fatigue?" your head starts to swim. "when was your last period?"

holy shit, when was it? was it late??

"the blood test shows that you're pregnant," she pats your knee. her reaction is ambiguous, you can tell she isn't sure if a congratulations is in order or sympathy.

"are you sure?" you blurt. "like, how sure are you?"

"pretty sure," she almost smirks. "we can run another test on your bloodwork for a more precise answer and call you with the results. you can take a home test in the meantime, too, if you'd like."

you nod weakly. she tells you the nurse will come in to discharge you but you can barely hear her.

pregnant.

the word is pounding around in your skull like a pinball machine. your hands feel clammy. pregnant. it would explain a lot. the throwing up, getting annoyed so easily with ran, the jeans, the crying over the jeans...

the door opens and you jump. it's ran, smiling as he comes in, looking much more relaxed than before. your heart sinks. what the hell were you going to say to ran??

"you okay?" he asks, grin fading.

you nod enthusiastically, "yeah! it's just a stomach bug. i was right."

the relief on his face makes you feel even worse. "i'm glad it's nothin' serious," he comes over to kiss your forehead. "you had me fuckin' worried."

"sorry, baby," you tug him down to sit in the bed with you. "thanks for taking such good care of me." he pulls your face closer and kisses your temple, "don't thank me, come on. you're my girl. m'so happy you're okay."

but you didn't feel okay. not at all.

part 2

#ran x reader #ran x you #tokyo revengers x reader #ran haitani smut #tokyo revengers smut #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran smut #haitani ran #cw vomit #cw pregnancy #cw hospital #ran smut

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eluxcastar · 2 years ago

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Soft Dottore with his cold assistant 👀

── ୨୧：il dottore x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: observation in snezhnaya is always a pain, and it's not out of character for you to underestimate how thick a coat you'll need while outside during the winter

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, more soft dottore content, possibly ooc, I did not proofread a word of this but I noticed I wrote goat once instead of coat sorry if that happens again 😭

୨୧﹑words :: 1072

atp I don't think I can function without fluffy scenarios (send help) I wrote this while David Hobson was allowing Christmas to start with The Holy City (I don't even celebrate Christmas 💀) it's so late rn Merry Christmas Dottore nation ❤️

you hate these kinds of researching days, the dead middle of Snezhnayan winter when the Doctor decides there's an urgent sample he has to collect, something to study, today it's something he simply wants to observe - the functions of an automaton Sandrone had given him to play with. he certainly was fulfilling the 'fun' part of that equation, dragging you out at the break of dawn just to see how this machine works in snowy climates. in his own words, it is to go while the snow is still falling. the early morning hours would provide more time, he could be meticulous without the threat of time and the dastardly sun looming over his head threatening to melt all of his snow.

you expected to stay inside all day considering the cold, not even thinking to grab your good coat as you left home, and now you shiver under only the cover of a coat far too thin for the job. the sky is dark, no sun out to warm you even slightly. that's your only problem with the dark, finding it easy to navigate with Dottore only a few steps ahead of you brimming with confidence in where he's going. you should've known better than to think Dottore would be bothered by the cold. he isn't. he's pointing out things he can already picking up even when you weren't even at the spot he wants to test it.

you're not sure he can notice your shivering as you follow behind him. you wish you were with just about anyone else right about now, preferably one who wouldn't mind you standing close and cuddling up under their hopefully warm coat so that you could warm yourself right up with their body heat.

the Doctor would never allow such silly things, more importantly he'd scold you for your carelessness.

so you carry on until you reach the clearing, no less cold as when you first set out, though you have become somewhat numb to it. it doesn't help you at all. you sit down in a clear spot of snow while he sets his new toy down a small way away. he's fiddling away with that while you're fiddling with your coat, trying to find a way to cover all the cold spots where the air is making your skin prick with goosebumps. it's an impossible task.

your focus shifts at the sound of footsteps, the rustling of fabric coming from the same direction Dottore was in. you look up, thinking the Doctor must be coming to join you only to see him removing his coat. it takes you a moment to process the why and in that moment he's stopped right in front of you, coat bunched in his hands.

"Doctor--"

"You always forget to bring a proper coat." he places his coat over your shoulders, wrapping you quite snugly in it in fact, though you refrain from telling him that as you pull it taut around you in hopes of perhaps gleaning some extra warmth from it. it smells like him. it's like the warm hug you know you will never receive from him.

"Won't you be cold, Doctor?"

"You are on the verge of freezing to death. I'm surprised your teeth don't chatter." he says, a somewhat firm statement that shuts you up by pure accuracy as you didn't expect him to have noticed when you were tucked away just behind him the whole time. "For an assistant working toward the pursuit of knowledge, it makes me wonder how you don't ever learn."

there's a sense of embarrassment that settles in you as silence overwhelms the conversation, finding nothing that you could say in response that would disprove any of that-- inadvertently, you suppose that simply proves what he says. you don't learn. you bury your face in the fur lining of the collar. you recognise this coat as the one he wears to Harbinger meetings, as well as while he's out during the winters. it's quite a thick coat, you realise, perhaps explaining why he would take it out to what was only a field trip by comparison to your usual work.

you feel awkward as he takes a seat by your side, feeling cold in his place even when you're wrapped up in his coat and being practically insulated by it. his lack of covering is a lot more apparent now, sticking out like a sore thumb and it hits you that he likely knew the second he laid eyes on you in only a thin coat not made to withstand harsh winters that you were cold. it was obvious to you now.

as the minutes pass, you begin to realise you aren't staring at the automation like he instructed but at him, a wave of guilt overcoming you and you scoot closer to his side until you feel the warmth that radiates off of him as you part it to reach out for him.

"Doctor--"

"Are you still cold?" he remains unwavering in his focus on that machine, doing something you pay no mind to. whatever it is is mesmerising him, a state you've noticed happens most frequently when things work out, especially if they work out in a particularly interesting way. this looks like things are just working out though.

you shake your head, finding yourself easing back into the comfort his coat provides, "It's better," you add, "the wind isn't so bad."

you feel it again, the guilt that you felt taking his coat. it was the reason you had gotten closer at all. had he noticed that at all? you're hesitant to move again, wondering how-- if he would react if he was to catch you. knowing him he'd ignore it just to toy with you, even when he was watching you the whole time. he's distinctly mean in that way.

"Aren't you cold, Doctor?" you try to ask again, thinking he won't answer like last time. "We'll be out here for some time if it can keep that up." a brief glance to the automaton and you're not sure what exactly it's doing - likely the result of not looking at it for some time - but the way Dottore hums in agreement makes it sound as if he understands the sentiment. you make a good point it seems.

"We'll simply be forced to share it, since you didn't bring a coat of your own, silly little thing."

#✦ — scenarios.#✦ — fluff.#the sillies are so cute #dottore #il dottore #genshin dottore #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader

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iamcalmdammit · 2 years ago

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Will they, won't they? || [Alex Keller x f!reader]

Summary: You rent an Airbnb to celebrate Christmas with the team after a mission. Alex surprises you and things take an interesting turn.

Note: Fluff. I love Alex so fucking much. A little Christmas story with the team. Also, it's probably the holiday spirit affecting me, but Graves is still blue, he didn't betray anyone. He's an honorary member of the 141. Oh, and Lucas Riggs! AU obviously.

"Johnny, just leave the kitchen, please," you begged him for the third time. The sergeant flashed a cheeky smile at you before reaching out to grab another cookie from the top shelf where you had previously hid it. You slapped his hand then pointed at the door. "Out."

"Okay, okay, I'll help, I promise," he said with a laugh.

You didn't even remember how many times he had already promised you that in the past hour or so. Sure, he helped a bit, chopping vegetables and snacking a little while doing so, but enough was enough. You had to feed the entire team, not just this one doofus. So you walked over to him, put your hands firmly on his chest and began to push him out of the kitchen.

But it didn't work. Not because he was standing his ground--he was actually laughing and taking cautious steps back to make it easy for you to push him--but because he bumped into someone. When you looked at the obstacle, you immediately recognized the familiar face.

"Alex?" you asked cautiously, hoping you weren't imagining things.

Johnny raised an eyebrow as he stopped laughing and turned around to look at the man behind him. "Huh?"

Alex completely ignored him, his eyes were fixed on you and he eventually sidestepped Johnny to finally get to you. He pulled you into a tight hug, placing soft kisses on the hair on the top of your head. "I missed you so much, baby," he whispered.

As you leaned back a bit to take a good look at your boyfriend, you flashed a happy smile at him while you struggled not to start crying. "I thought something happened to you."

Laughing, he gave you a soft kiss then looked over at the sergeant who was still standing in the door. "It's been a while. Everything okay?" he asked with a smile.

Now that he was in the company of people he could truly trust, Alex visibly relaxed. He looked happy as he listened to Johnny's response while he had a hand wrapped around your waist. He kept you close, as if he was afraid you would run away if he didn't have his hand on your body. But you weren't planning to run. No, you were planning quite the opposite.

Suddenly you remembered the food you were preparing and quickly rushed to the oven to check on it. After a few minutes, while you were finishing the salad, you felt a pair of arms sneak around your torso and pull you back against a warm body. Alex kissed your neck, his hand slowly moving under your shirt and up to your breasts.

"Anyone could walk in," you informed him with a laugh.

"I don't care. I haven't seen you in months," he whispered in your ear. The next thing you knew, he pushed a few bowls and plates out of the way and sat you on the counter. "I'm lucky you're wearing a skirt," he mumbled against your lips while his hand traveled all the way to your thighs.

The food was ready to be served, but feeling his hand on your body again was too good to give up. But your common sense didn't leave you alone and you ended up putting your hand on his to push it away. "I wouldn't be happy if someone had sex right next to the food I'm about to eat," you said with a smile before you kissed him again.

Alex leaned back and let out a sigh. "Fine, we'll get back to this later," he replied while he helped you off the counter. "What do you want me to do?"

Under your supervision everyone came to grab something and you quickly put all of the tasty food on the dining table. You were proud of yourself. You had spent an entire day in the kitchen with the occasional help of others, but it was worth it. Alex kissed the back of your head as he passed you by and this gentle move snapped you out of your thoughts.

When you looked around, you noticed a new face standing next to your boyfriend. It was surprising, mostly because this was strictly a 141 team building event--hence the presence of a Shadow who got your permission to tag along--and even Simon decided not to wear his balaclava. Alex noticed the confused look on your face and quickly cleared his throat as he looked over at the captain.

"Now that we're all here," John began with a smile as everybody sat down, "I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce our newest member, someone who comes from the Australian Special Operations Command. Alex met him first, he was the one who made the recommendation, so let's welcome Lucas Riggs as one of our own."

Everyone greeted him, Gaz immediately started shooting questions at him, but you barely listened because Alex took your hand and didn't seem like he was about to let go anytime soon. He watched you with a smile, then he leaned close to you and said, "I love you. You know that, right?" Giggling, you nodded. "Move in with me. I want to know you're there when I happen to come home for a while."

You kissed him, this move soon earning a childish reaction from Johnny who was sitting across from you. "I'd love to," you told Alex before turning to the sergeant. "Don't make me throw a piece of bread at you."

"So you're the famous lady who has him wrapped around her finger," Lucas said with a grin as he leaned forward to look at you. "I swear he couldn't shut up about you."

Looking over at the man, you couldn't help but grin at him. So he kept talking about you to his friends? You didn't think it was possible to love him more than you already did, but Alex always proved you wrong. He always did something that made you fall deeper in love with him.

"You think I can't shut up about her?" Alex suddenly asked, turning to Lucas. "Wait until we get married."

You almost choked on the air you breathed in at that moment. Until you what?

Lucas started to laugh. "I think you should settle this with her first, mate."

"When did you ask her to marry you?" Phillip asked from across the table, sounding surprised to hear that. Well, you couldn't blame him, you were just as surprised.

"I haven't asked her yet. But I'm sure she knows that's where we're heading," he replied before looking over at you with a smile.

"That's not what her expression is telling us," Simon noted.

The smile faded from his face when he realized Simon was right. You were shocked, your face definitely mirrored that emotion. "I thought you knew," he said quietly.

You shook your head in response. Being in a relationship with someone was one thing. Moving in… Well, that was a big step but since he was away most of the time, it didn't seem to be a big deal. Marriage on the other hand was serious. Having a husband was a liability. And it was true the other way around as well.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I really thought it was obvious."

Shaking your head, you stood up and pulled your hand away from his. "I'm sorry, I'm gonna wash my face real quick."

"Y/N, wait," he tried but you were gone by the time he said that.

Across the table Johnny cleared his throat and put down his fork and knife. "I'll talk to her."

You moved up the stairs and sat on the edge of the bathtub in the bathroom while you waited for Johnny to catch up with you. That idiot slowly transformed into the closest thing you had to a brother on the field, always keeping an eye on you and always doing his best to cheer you up if you were sad or injured.

Maybe talking to him now wouldn't be a bad idea, this is why you decided not to lock the door. He might give you advice you could use now since he had known about you and Alex since the beginning. Every time you missed him, every time you thought something happened to him while he was away, Johnny was the one who consoled you, assuring you that everything would be okay.

"Why did you freak out? I thought you loved him," he began as he sat down next to you.

You turned to look at him but remained silent for now. What could you say to that? "I do love him, don't get me wrong," you began hesitantly. "It's just… Getting married? I have been married before and that didn't turn out well. What if I fuck up again?"

Johnny opened his mouth and put up his hands. "Hold up, hold up, hold up. You were married? When? And who was that guy?" he asked, completely dumbfounded.

You told him everything. How you married a guy from college, how he hated it when you were deployed, how distance slowly poisoned and ruined your marriage. How often would you see Alex now that he was helping Farah? Sure, he came back sometimes to help out, but he came less and less frequently.

Wiping away your tears, you thought about what else to tell him. But there was nothing left to say. Letting out a sigh, he reached out and wrapped an arm around your shoulder to pull you closer. As he rubbed your skin in a soothing manner, you felt more and more at ease, the stress finally leaving your body.

"I love him, don't get me wrong," you finally spoke up again after a while. "But there's a voice in the back of my mind telling me it wouldn't work out."

"That voice is stupid," Johnny said with a laugh. "Alex loves you so much, he would never hurt or leave you. I'm sure if you got married, he would do whatever he can to make it work. Maybe he would spend more time with you. He can't know what worries you if you don't talk to him."

"Maybe you're right," you admitted.

The sergeant rolled his eyes. "I know I'm right. Come on, let's go back. I don't like cold food."

After you returned, heavy silence fell on the room. No one dared to ask if you were okay, they just waited for you to say something. But you didn't say anything, only started eating as if nothing happened. The others followed suit, eating in silence until Johnny turned to Phillip and asked him about the baby project that was stressing him out lately.

Apparently they had been trying for a baby for about five years but nothing worked. The next step was a surrogate, but according to him it was a nightmare to find the right one. Johnny and Phillip were close so you weren't surprised the sergeant knew about it, but it was unexpected to hear them talk about it so openly in front of the team.

Then the conversation shifted again, this time everyone turned their attention to Lucas who was a little taken aback by the level of interest. But he answered everything and soon you knew so much about him that it felt like he had been a member for months. And you made a mental note that if you ever wanted something from him, all you would have to do was bringing him lamingtons. He was so easy to bribe.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Alex watch you every now and then, probably hesitating to talk to you, to ask if you were feeling better. You were happy that he didn't push you and you tried your best to ignore the urge to pour everything on him right there and then.

After over an hour the others began to clean the table--they said doing the dishes was the least they could do after you cooked all day. As you watched them, you felt a hand taking yours and pulling you out of the dining room. It was Alex. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

Once you entered the bedroom you reserved for yourself, he closed the door and said, "I'm so sorry. But we need to talk about it."

You nodded then sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to do the same. But instead he knelt in front of you and rested his forearms on your thighs as he took your hands. His eyes looked like they were a darker shade of blue now, and the more you looked into his eyes, the more lost you became in them.

"Why did you react like that? I have a feeling there's something I don't know," he spoke up, breaking the silence.

He can't know what worries you if you don't talk to him.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to be honest. You told him everything--from your previous marriage to your fears regarding his affiliation with Farah. You didn't mean to sound selfish, but it still came out that way. He did what he did for a greater good, yet here you were, whining about not having your boyfriend around.

But he seemingly understood it. Once you finished your little speech, he flashed a reassuring smile at you and reached up to wipe a teardrop away. "You're right," he suddenly said.

You gave him a questioning look. Why would you be right? You were selfish, not right. "Alex, you're helping them because that's the right thing to do. I can't ask you to abandon them because of me," you told him.

"You absolutely can. Look, I'm talking about marriage, but how would that work if I'm always away?" he asked, his hand resting on your cheek. "You go on missions too, sure, but what I do takes more time. I don't want you to be lonely. And I don't want to lose you because of it either."

Shaking your head, you leaned down to kiss him. You were hesitant for some reason, as if you were just testing the waters, but Alex quickly took charge and pushed you on your back. As much as you wanted him, you knew it wouldn't be appropriate at this time. The whole Christmas dinner thing was your idea, you couldn't just sneak away like that.

"Wait, we should go down to the others," you stopped him.

He let out an annoyed groan as he watched you. "For real?" You nodded. "Fine, let's go," he said as he stood up and extended his hand to help you up.

When you reached the top of the stairs, you found Simon sitting on the bottom step, typing something into his phone. You were dying to find out who he was chatting with. Was it someone from his family? Maybe a girlfriend?

As you walked past him, you reached out to ruffle his hair with a giggle. He gave you a harsh look as he pushed your hand away, but you didn't miss the small smile he had on his lips while doing so. Behind the silent tough guy look he was really just a big softie.

Stepping into the living room felt like entering a courtroom. Everyone was watching you in silence, waiting to see if it was safe to say anything after the tense dinner. But John decided to be the team leader even in this situation, because in the end it was him who spoke up.

"Did you discuss everything? Is everything okay between you now?" he asked cautiously.

You and Alex looked at each other for a brief moment before turning back to the others and nodding. He even reached out to take your hand, tightly wrapping his fingers around yours as if he was trying to stop you from running away. But you weren't planning on leaving him, not anytime soon.

"Can we celebrate your engagement?" Phillip asked as he reached for the glass of wine he had on a nearby table.

"No, not yet," Alex replied. "But I promised to be around more often. John, we should talk about that tomorrow," he told the captain who nodded in response.

"All right, everyone, pay up," you heard Phillip say as he looked around the room. When you gave him a questioning look, he put a hand on the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh. "Johnny said this conversation would end with you two engaged. The others agreed. I said it's early after that… incident during dinner. I won."

Alex couldn't help but laugh at this, but the sergeant didn't find it funny. "Hey, I thought you could convince her, okay? I would be ten bucks richer if I didn't have faith in your ability to charm her.

"I believe it means you lost the bet," Simon's deep voice echoed in the room.

You turned around and watched him walk inside with a smile. "You didn't take part?"

"It would have been unfair to do so," he explained as he sat down on a cushioned chair near the captain. "I knew you wouldn't say yes after what happened so taking the others' money didn't seem fair."

"It didn't bother me," Phillip said with a grin.

"You don't even need our money," Johnny noted with a laugh.

Phillip let out a humming sound. "I did it because I wanted to win. The money was a bonus I was willing to accept."

"You're just a bunch of stupid kids," you noted quietly. Alex looked down at you with a grin before kissing the top of your head real quick. "What was that for?" you asked.

"What? I can't do that?"

You freed your hand and wrapped your arm around his body as you leaned against his side. This Christmas was the best you had had in the past few years. And you couldn't help but appreciate this group of idiots that were always there to support you.

#call of duty #modern warfare #alex keller #alex keller x reader #captain price #captain john price #john price #john soap mactavish #john mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #simon riley #simon ghost riley #phillip graves #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #lucas riggs

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reallyromealone · 2 years ago

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Monkey D. Luffy x male reader

Requested by: Luffyswordstyle on Patreon

PATREON

All Patreon requests get the NSFW treatment essentially and get spell checked and edited

(Name) (lastname).

The most feared name to anyone, pirate or marine of hell even warlords.

He was a force no one messed with.

The smell of seawater and booze and the sound of music could be heard as the straw hat pirates were having a celebration, a successful adventure and everyone could finally relax.

That was until they saw it.

(Pirate crew name)s ship, an imposing force and ominous to the most fearsome pirates.

It was an imposing ship, said to be made by the devil himself and no one could take it down.

"Shit... What do they want" Nami mumbled as the celebrations stopped completely and the tension was thick enough to slice.

When the pirate ship docked beside them, everyone was on edge as the one and only (name) (last name) stepped on board with an air of intimidation that practically put the straw hats in a chokehold.

"Whaddya want?" Zoro hissed out, standing in a defensive position just in case something happened.

(Name)s pirate crew well known to be incredibly unpredictable.

"I'm here to see Monkey D. Luffy" (name) said smoothly and scanned around for the straw hat pirates captain and frowned just slightly when he didn't see him,the straw hats noted that he almost looked... Disappointed?

"What business do you have wi---" "(name)?!" Luffy's excited voice rang out,(name) could barely react as Luffy's strong arms wrapped around him like a Koala "what are you doing here?!"

"I heard about what you lot did and came to give my congratulations" (name) said oh so smoothly while cupping his lover's cheeks "eh? Really! That's great!"

"Luffy... How do you know (name)?" Sanji asked slowly, Luffy turned to look at his crew "he's my lover!" As if it were the most obvious thing in the world and both sides halted, the only sound was the soft sound of the waves and the squawking of gulls.

"... what?"

"(Name)! Come with me! We got some (sweets) from the last port town!" Luffy said practically dragging his lover off, the intimidating pirate captain looked at his men with a deathy seriously glare "behave, these are our allies" before letting his beloved drag him off.

Both crews didn't know really what to do but ultimately decided they had a reason to drink!

The night was celebrated with the two crews drinking and partying as their captains caught up, enjoying each other's presence.

When the other crew left come morning the straw hats noticed matching rings on both captains, (name) winking at Luffy before sailing off.

Well, at least they had a secured ally with (pirate crew) one supposed.

#one piece #one piece x male reader #one piece x reader #luffy x male reader #luffy x reader #patreon request

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kitashousewife · 2 years ago

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i wish i knew you wanted me

an: i've been swimming around with this idea for a while! this is loosely based on the song bad habit by steve lacy :D

pairings: timeskip!kuroo x fem!reader

warnings: childhood neighbor!reader, kuroo is down horrendous, food mentions, reader has a shitty bf (neglectful, unkind to reader) anxiety mentions, slight angst, fluffy ending, lots of fluff bc kuroo is a sweetie, lowercase intentional

word count: 3k

you've always loved kuroo. ever since you were 8, in fact. kuroo loves you too, but just a little differently.

that's because he is in love with you.

you'll never forget the day you met him. carrying your small backpack up the steps of your new home, a ball rolled in front of your feet.

"sorry! did i trip ya?" a rooster-haired boy stumbled over and grabbed the ball. he took your hand in his and introduced you to his friend kenma. before you had a chance to talk to them, you were whisked away by your parents.

every day of your childhood was spent with them, in some way or another. waiting for the bus together, playing on the sidewalk after school, even the occasional sleep over on the weekends. kenma and kuroo are the best friends anyone could ask for.

kuroo thinks he started to love you when you were 10 years old. one day, as the three of you stepped off the school bus, you tripped and scraped your knee. the worry he felt for you was strong, and hated seeing you in pain. ever since that day, kuroo has tried his best to keep you happy and smiling.

he started by giving you little gifts. a bouquet of dandelions from recess, that you carefully brought all the way home and placed in a jar. he gave you tons of rocks he found over the years, even giving you his favorite snacks to share.

you think you started to love kuroo when you were 12 years old. you were in middle school, walking down the street with kuroo and kenma, talking about an upcoming volleyball match that they had. a boy from school passed by and tripped you, calling you names and laughing as he walked away. you blinked tears back, assuring kenma and kuroo that you were fine, it was no big deal. without second thought, kuroo turned around and pushed the other boy, which started a fight that you and kenma had to separate. kuroo got a black eye, but he never complained.

kuroo fell in love with you when the three of you were first years in high school. one day, when he got home from a run, he saw you sitting on your front steps reading a book. you looked perfect. eyes focused on the pages in front of you, almost glowing in the afternoon sun. once he got closer, he realized you were reading his favorite book.

"good book?"

you peak over the top of the pages and smile. "so far, yes."

"what gave you the idea to read that one?"

a blush coats your cheeks and you return to reading.

"i just had a good recommendation."

kuroo spent the next two days speed reading the novel so that by the time you finished, he could ask you all about it. two weeks after that day, though, he realized that you didn't read it for him.

the last day of your first year, kenma and kuroo had been looking everywhere for you. you had plans to walk home together, and do your annual all-nighter to celebrate the end of another year.

"i haven't seen her all day," kenma mumbles, eyes trained on the game in his hands.

"me neither, but she couldn't have forgotten. we do this every year," kuroo's words trail off as you come around the corner, hand in hand with one of the most popular boys in your school. his heart drops, his stomach flips and twists. as soon as you reach his gaze, you feel the exact same way.

the entire night, in the glow of kenma's video games, kuroo seethed. there were so many chances, so many opportunities for him to have said something, made any kind of move. and now it doesn't matter. that night, he decided that he was going to put all of his focus on volleyball and studies. but still, he never stopped being your friend. he would never admit it, but every new years, every time he saw a shooting star, and every single other time he was given the opportunity to make a wish, he would wish for you.

high school flew by, as did college. the three of you stayed in close contact, calling every week, visiting each other every chance you all in town during your college years. you even went on a trip with kenma for a couple days for one of the events he was invited to. you remember that entire trip, all you wanted was for kuroo to be with you. that was the first sign that you were ready to leave your high school boyfriend.

the two of you had been together for five years now. things were great at first, as they always are. flowers, special dates, notes passed through classes, stolen kisses in crowded hallways. but, as soon as the honeymoon phase was over, you began to see who he really was. a man who put everything else first, keeping you to the side until he really needed you.

and you've had enough.

one night, after a particularly long shift, you had sat down in the kitchen to enjoy some takeout before your weekly facetime with your two best friends. right before the call starts, your boyfriend walks in.

"you're still talking to them?"

you tilt your head to the side. "what do you mean? they're my best friends, you know that."

he scoffs. "don't you think that it's time to grow up? you know, make some new friends?"

you feel your palms start to sweat, and anger starts to fill in your chest. "why would you even suggest that?"

he shoots you an annoyed look. "don't get all defensive, alright? i just think it might be time to move on from that twitch streamer and whatever his name is."

an incoming call appears on the screen from kenma, which you accept immediately. forgetting to mute yourself, you turn to your boyfriend one last time. "his name is kuroo, and maybe it's best if you just go home for the night."

he rolls his eyes. "whatever,"

as if it was on purpose, directly behind your boyfriend is a photo of you and kuroo at graduation. wide smiles, bright eyes, full of excitement for the future. when you look at the photo, you realize you haven't smiled that genuinely in months.

you want to be happy again.

"actually, i think it's best if we break up."

kenma sits on the other end of the call, jaw dropped while he watches the entire scene unfold. he knows you probably meant to mute yourself, but he doesn't have the heart to tell you. kenma has hated your boyfriend for years, truth be told. kenma also knows that his best friend is deeply in love with you.

that same friend should be hopping on the call any second now.

kenma watches your boyfriend stutter, mumble something under his breath that the mic couldn't quite pick up, and hears your apartment door slam shut. you let out a deep breath and grab your phone once more, letting a small gasp when you realize that you are in fact, not muted.

"k-kenma!" you cheer, voice shaking slightly. you wince. "d-did, did you hear that?"

he nods, pretending to be focused on his game. "yeah, i heard."

you groan and put your head down on your kitchen table. "please don't tell anyone."

he hums. "i won-"

"not kuroo, either."

he looks at the screen and nods. "i wouldn't. i promise."

feeling a little relief, you rub your eyes before picking up the phone again. "hey, kenma? i think i'm going to just head to bed. i'm really sorry. i'll call again in a few days, yeah?"

kenma nods once more and gives you a small smile. "you text me whenever you need to."

as soon as your face disappears from the screen, kuroo's appears. kenma chuckles, which earns a confused face from his best friend.

"what's that for?"

"she just left. she wasn't feeling to well, but said she would give us a call a different day."

kuroo was dying to see you, to see your face. he loved his job, it's a dream, but lately he is feeling stuck. he was really looking forward to this week's call. he knew your voice and pretty laugh could give him the boost he needed to keep going.

sensing kuroo's disappointment, kenma sends him an invite for the match he's about to begin. "wanna hop on?"

kuroo looks at the same photo you have from graduation, placed on top of his dresser, and lets out a sigh.

"yeah, why not."

it's been over a week since the call. you haven't talked to your now ex-boyfriend since that night either, or anyone for that matter. you've felt down, not because you miss your ex, but because you just feel alone.

kenma notices this.

hey, you doing okay?

you feel a little better after seeing kenma's name.

i'm okay. i miss you guys

kenma debates even saying this, but decides he can't take it anymore.

kuroo misses you. he's been asking about you for a week now.

your heart skips a beat at his name. you've been avoiding him, not because you don't want to see him, but because you can't stop thinking about him. you wouldn't admit it to anyone, but you couldn't help but think about how kuroo would treat you. he wouldn't scoff at you when you're having a good time. he wouldn't blow you off, night after night, just to hang out with his friends.

the buzz of your phone brings you out of your thoughts.

it's really annoying. you better message him before i drive him to your apartment.

you smile for the first time in days.

fine. anything for you

kuroo walks out of his last meeting of the day, exhausted and ready to go home. unfortunately, he still has two hours to go before he is free for the weekend. pulling his phone out of his pocket, he is surprised to see text notifications. he checks the text from kenma first.

you're welcome.

his face twists with confusion, but before he can respond, he sees your name in his notifications as well.

hi tetsu! i miss you

when can i see you again?

his heart stops. he feels like he could faint.

tonight. come over, ill be home by 6

he doesn't have time to worry if that text was too forward, not when his head is filled with thoughts of you. hugging you, seeing you, watching the way your nose scrunches at the nicknames he gives you.

your feet shuffle up to kuroo’s door, right at 6. you walk a little slower as anxious thoughts fill your mind. am i too early? is he just seeing me because he feels bad? what if it’s awkward, i haven’t seen him in-

“you’re here! come in!” kuroo exclaims, pulling you in by the grasp of his hand. as soon as you step into his apartment, he wraps his arms around you and spins you around, filling the room with your laughter.

“tetsuro! put me down!” you laugh, hands gripping the white dress shirt he still has on. setting you down with a chuckle of his own, you look him in the eyes for the first time in weeks.

you forget how to breathe.

somehow, he looks older. his hair is still a little unruly, but much better maintained than before. his eyes are full of love. you pout a little when you see how tired he looks.

“tetsu’, you look tired,” you sigh, looking at the dark circles sitting directly under his eyes.

he offers you a small smile. “works been kicking my ass, that’s for sure. but,” he sing songs, grabbing two cups for tea. “i feel much better after seeing you.”

what would normally be a friendly comment between the two of you, now causes your cheeks to heat up slightly. “how have you been, besides work?”

his fingers tap against the counter tops. a habit he picked up as a child that has stuck with him to this day. “besides work, i can’t complain,” he lies. “how about you?” he almost didn’t want to ask. his promise to himself to make you smile and protect you from hurt as a child is still true to this day.

“works been okay, it hasn’t been too busy,” your tone sounds convincing, but he can tell in your eyes there’s more to say. “i also, well, how do i put this,”

“is everything oka-“

“we broke up.”

kuroo’s jaw drops. “what!” he almost shouts, but when he notices how startled you are, he clears his throat. “i’m sorry, u-um, let me get you some tea,”

the two of you sit in silence for a few moments while kuroo pours tea in each of your mugs. he doesn’t want to rush you, by any means, but he can tell you’re hurting.

“you don’t have to talk about it, you know.”

you sigh. “but i need to. i’ve been keeping it to myself for a week now, and i know it’s not healthy to-“ you pause your rambling and look at kuroo. his eyes are swimming with concern and love. he hasn’t stopped looking at you since you walked in, giving you his full attention. “i just decided it would be better if we separated.”

kuroo nods. inside, he is a nervous wreck. it’s been years since high school, yet he still can’t get himself to make any type of move. every time his mouth opens, he shuts it quickly, swallowing back the words.

he scratches the back of his head with a sigh of your name. "you can talk about it whenever you're ready. no rush," he smiles at you and nudges your mug with his. picking it up in both hands, you smile but set it down. kuroo raises an eyebrow.

"do you remember the night after graduation?"

he nods. of course he does. that's the night the two of you stayed up til 3, talking about the future, about college, your fears, and excitements. the two of you laughed until you cried, nearly falling asleep on his bedroom floor with tears in your eyes.

"why do you ask?"

a small smile forms on your face, but kuroo can tell there's some sadness behind it. "i think that was the last time i was truly happy."

he stands up and comes by your side, hugging you while you sit down. he doesn't say anything, but you don't need him to.

kuroo decides this is his chance. he takes a few steps towards his living room and loosens his tie.

"do you remember the work party i took you to last month?"

with a roll of your eyes, you stand up and walk over to his place on the couch. flopping down next to him, you begin to laugh.

"oh my god, of course i do. how could i forget tripping in front of your colleagues and spilling a drink all over myself and your boss?"

kuroo can't help but laugh. it was a sad sight, watching you trip over your own feet, spilling your drink and his all over his boss who happened to be right in your path.

"why would you bring that up!" you playfully slap his arms. raising his hands to protect himself, he takes a deep breath.

"you looked absolutely stunning that night."

your laugh trails off and you feel your heart beating quicker and quicker by the second.

"thank you, tetsuro," you mumble.

"you've always been so beautiful," he whispers and places his warm hand over your own. he almost pulls away, worried that he's scared you. shoving down the fear that bubbles in his stomach, kuroo grabs both of your hands in his.

"i'm in love with you."

you open your mouth to say anything, tell him anything that you can to let him know you feel the same way, but words don't come out.

"since we were 15, i-i just have always loved you, and i just needed to finally tell you." his eyes examine your face, trying to read any emotions that cross it. he's already in deep, so he might as well keep going.

"i remember when you started dating him, god, i was so angry. at myself. i let you get away. and it killed me to see you so upset and hurt. every call we had, i could see it in your eyes. and i just love you so much, i can't-"

"i love you too," you whisper, placing your hand on his cheek. the tip of your finger rests over his pulse, and you feel terrible at how quick it's beating.

"w-what?"

"i love you too. i have for a long time, i just-" you stop, and shake your head. "do you want to go out sometime? just you and i, maybe we coul-"

kuroo cuts you off by placing his lips on yours. his lips are soft, pulling away to linger right above yours. you close the gap again, pulling him closer and wrapping your arms around his neck. he only pulls away when he absolutely has to, taking a deep breath. he can't help the giddy smile that appears.

"i don't want to be that guy," he laughs. "but i've literally been waiting years to do that."

leaning into his warm body, kuroo holds you tight. suddenly he sits up, reaching into his back pocket for something. grabbing his phone you see him giggling to himself.

"thinking about the company dinner again?"

"no, no. this is much better. just a sec,"

kuroo snaps a quick photo of the two of you, arm wrapped around you, fingers intertwined. he giggles again and hits send. as soon as he sees delivered, he locks his phone and gives you a kiss on the cheek.

a text to kenma has been sent.

Attachment: 1 image

remember that bet we made when we were 16? i'll take my money now.

#kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo fluff #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #hq x reader #kuroo tetsuro fluff

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nocreativityfornames · 2 years ago

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The timing and occasion on which MC made the pacts with Lucifer and Belphegor should've been switched and here's why:

SPOILERS FROM LESSON 16 TO 20-14!!

I don't know if anyone has ever posted something similar to this but it's something I've been thinking about it for a while. I've never quite liked the way these two pacts were formed and to me, they were both timed weirdly and overall had little to no weight on the story, which sort of irritates me in a way.

I think our pact with Lucifer should've taken place at the party where MC was celebrated instead of the end of the season, it would've been much more meaningful that way and left way more impact than the disaster of a scene that lesson 20-14 was in my opinion. Because here's the thing:

Lucifer is the Avatar of Pride, one of the most powerful beings in all three realms, someone who's led an entire army through war and was maybe the first of his kind to rebel against its own creator. It's not easy to gain his respect, much less his trust, so for him to put his pride aside and offer a human the power to control his entire being, it's much more than a simple "possessive and horny confession", t's him placing his ultimate trust in someone, it's him showing just how much he's grown to care for you.

Because you deserve it. You were the human who put his dear family back together, who willingly ran head first into danger more than once just for the sake of protecting his brothers, who gave your life trying to help fix what he broke. You were much more than a simple exchange student, you were someone he had slowly come to cherish, who so gradually approached his heart that he didn't even notice you come in and before he knew it, all the irritation and distrust he felt towards you had turned into love and admiration. You were a precious presence in his life that he felt the need to protect but failed to do so.

So Lucifer offering to make a pact with you just shortly after all you had gone through was a way to let you know just how immensely grateful he was for all you had done for him and his family, to show you that you had not only earned his respect and trust but also his love. It was an apology for every time he had put you in harm's way and for not being there for you when you needed him the most. Lucifer offering you a pact it's him letting you know that he will never ever let anyone hurt you again and that he'll always be there for you from now on, it's him saying that you can lean on him as much as you need because you're now part of his family — the one thing he puts above all others and will do anything for.

Lucifer asking to make a pact with you it's him showing you mean the world to him while having no qualms about letting the whole three realms know you were remarkable enough to make the prideful Morning Star let go of his sin and give you all of him.

Now, let's talk about Belphegor. As I've seen many point out, the reaction to MC's death after lesson 16 as whole was terrible. There was barely any acknowledgment of what happened, no apology coming from Belphegor, and the weirdest thing of all: MC was not only completely okay with being close to Belphegor but also the only one trying to help him when all the brothers were more than rightfully being awkward around him. So let's just put it this way: the whole situation was beyond bizarre and we all like to pretend it wasn't canon.

But back to the matter at hand: Canonically, MC's pact with Belphegor is formed at Diavolo's birthday party. After he disappears from the main hall where everyone is and MC goes to find him on their own. That itself already seems wrong, I mean, I don't know about you personally but if I had just been murdered by someone a few days/weeks ago, I definitely wouldn't want to leave the side of those I'm safe with to go find that person alone. But Canon!MC is very dumb and we can't do anything about it so our only choice is to follow him.

We are also not given the choice to refuse the pact when it's proposed nor MC has the chance to speak a word about it. Now the way I see this, it's a clear sign that MC doesn't want a pact with him. They are scared and pressured into making a pact with Belphegor because they're not sure what could happen if they refused. Because then again, this is the guy that murdered them not that long ago and laughed at their dead body like he was having the time of his life. And the last time MC refused to make a pact didn't exactly go well either, with Satan shoving them into a bookshelf and threatening the hell out of them.

And if Satan reacted like that, imagine Belphegor. And there was no one around either, Canon!MC had made the stupid decision to go find Belphegor on their own and had no one to protect them at the moment. So they have no choice, they are frozen with fear and are ""forced"" to make a pact with him even though they dread the idea. It's just awful and I hate that scene so much I can't even put it into words.

MC's pact with Belphegor shouldn't have been formed so early. They should've had the time to heal from all the trauma, time to distance themselves from Belphegor, and to process everything they had been through. And then only later they would slowly start to warm up to him again, after they know for a fact he's truly sorry for what he did and deeply regrets it. After they are ready to face him.

And for Belphegor's pact with MC to be formed on their last day in the Devildom, it would've simply been beautiful. Because then Belphegor would've also had the time to learn to appreciate MC, to realize how special they truly were, for what he did to become one of the biggest regrets he's ever carried. Belphegor would've had the time to see right in front of him how you treated those you had a pact with, time to realize that to you, a pact wasn't about gaining power and status, but about forming a deeper connection with someone.

The pacts you shared were proof of your strong bond with his brothers and all the love you had for them. And honestly, it broke his heart to be the only one in the family who didn't have that kind of connection with you. But he wouldn't dare ask for it, he couldn't ask for it. He didn't have the right, not after what he did to you that day. You were nice enough to forgive him, to treat him with kindness when all he deserved was your hate and loathing. He couldn't ask for more, no matter much he wished to.

So when you come around and ask him for a pact on your last night in the Devildom, he couldn't have felt happier. To know that you had come to trust him like that again even after all he did, for you to love him enough to want his pact mark on you for the rest of your life, it felt nothing short of incredible. He wondered what he had done to deserve you, because someone as caring and sweet as you should have no business staying close to someone as rotten as him. But he gladly accepts the pact after you confirm to him that's truly what you want. Belphegor then hugs you as tight as he can, sobbing in your embrace as he is filled with both the happiness of your newly formed pact and the sadness that you have to leave.

MC being the one to ask for a pact with Belphegor shows that they've come to trust him just as much as his brothers. And the pact itself is a sign that they've both come to overcome their past traumas and now feel more than comfortable with each other. It's proof of the strong and unbreakable bond they have.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me satan #obey me lesson 16 spoilers #omswd lesson 16 #om lucifer #om belphie #om mc #om headcanons #om brothers #obey me!#☙ no creativity for names ✾#300+

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ashwhowrites · 2 years ago

Text

Famous Daddy series

Part 1

Most in Eddie's pov

Modern AU

Proofread later

Eddie Munson had a dream, and a dream that he could never make happen if he stayed in a small town like Hawkins. He needed to move to where the stars were, where dreams became reality and privacy didn't exist. Once he graduated, he was off to California. Throwing himself into every label office he could sneak into. Begging for the chance to be something and be someone.

That's when he met his manager, Zack. Zack said he knew exactly how to get Eddie to the top and Eddie was ready to take the leap. Zack warned him it was a slow start, but he had a loophole to get Eddie to the top even faster. Of course Eddie wanted the loophole. He didn't want to wait and see what happened. He wanted to be a star and Zack promised to make him one, all Eddie had to do was never say no

"Ever heard of Mike Pettson?" Zack asked, now officially being Eddie's manager for a year. Eddie released an album, now they wait for the take off.

"the guy who owns Pettson music label? The biggest company in California? Of course I know who the fuck he is" Eddie scoffed. He wanted to work with Mike himself, but his assistant sent Eddie out the door in seconds

"well he has a daughter your age, very beautiful and refuses to date anyone in the public eye. But you my friend, aren't quite in the spotlight yet, she won't know who you are" Zack smirked, explaining part of his big plan

"okay? What does she have to do with anything?" Eddie asked, he was confused. He knew who she was. Y/N Pettson, one of the biggest pop stars in the world. Granted, she only made it big because of her daddy's last name but she had the talent, the face, and the confidence.

"you're going to date her" Zack said like it was the easiest thing in the world

"excuse me? That girl refuses to date ANYONE. She's turned down A list celebrities, how the fuck do you think she'll like me?" Eddie argued. That girl was way out of his league, and if she ever met him, she'd know it too. She was drop dead gorgeous, a mean streak, bitchy but the biggest sweetheart with her fans. Half the world adored her and the other half envied her. Eddie was stuck in the middle.

"because you won't know who she is. You're new to California, not in the watchful eye of the public. You can slither your way in. Act as if you have no clue who she is or anything about her. Get her to believe you like her for just being her. Get her to fall in love with you, and bam we are in" Zack clapped with a big smile

"you want me to lie and use her just to get my name out? Won't that be like....shitty?" Eddie shrugged, he wasn't feeling too good about this plan. She was a girl with feelings, she was human and Zack wanted him to use her?

"you want to be famous or not Eddie?" Zack snapped, eyes glaring down at him

"of course! But I just fe-"

"Eddie, you are in the music business now, you don't feel anything. You work towards success and that's it. I wrote down her schedule, based on when paparazzi finds her, study it and run into her as much as you can" Zack explained, laying down a sheet of paper with the details on it.

Eddie didn't feel good about it, but he wanted his dream.

Eddie paced around the record store for what felt like hours. Zack refused to let him leave until Y/N walked in. The first step of the plan was to meet her, make sure he acted like he didn't know who she was. Eddie doesn't know how to flirt, sure he's got looks but that's it. She was confident and spent her time turning down anyone that tried to talk to her. He somehow had to make himself worthy.

Zack coughed loudly when the door opened, Eddie's eyes catching her as she walked in. She was even more gorgeous in person. She walked with her head high and the confidence just radiated off of her. Eddie swallowed nervously. Cleaning his sweaty hands on his jeans as he walked behind her, distance away to see where she would end up. She was searching through rock band records, Eddie smiled to himself. Perfect, a topic he knows.

He walked up to her, a soft touch to her shoulder. She sighed and turned around. Eddie was met with her beautiful face but not a friendly look

"No" she said, turning back around to dig through the records. Eddie stepped back for a second. Her pissed off tone caught him off guard. He looked to Zack for help, a look that said try again.

"excuse me?" Eddie asked, watching as she turned around again

"no to what?" He questioned

"to whatever you were going to ask. No, I don't want to go on a date. No, I'm not bringing you to an after party. No, I'm not going to post you so your celebrity crush can find out you exist. No, I can't get you a meeting with my dad. No, I don't want to listen to your mixtape and give my thoughts. No, no and no" she scoffed out, walking down the aisle faster

Eddie panicked and walked after her

"pretty full of yourself huh?" He chuckled. She wanted to be a bitch? Fine, he can play that game

She stopped slightly, but shook her head and continued walking. Her black converse speeding down further away, but he still followed. Noticing something stuck on her shoe, a perfect cover up.

"alright damn! Was just going to tell you that you have a receipt sticking to your shoe" Eddie called after her, this time she fully stopped. Looking down at her converse, groaning embarrassed as she yanked the receipt.

She sighed and turned around. Feeling embarrassed and guilty, she shyly looked up, a very quiet "thank you" on her lips

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch" she admitted, a small smile as she walked out of the shop.

Zack informed Eddie that she goes to that shop every day at the same time. So now Eddie was once again at the same record shop, busying himself as he looked through the records. Apparently a little too busy because he didn't notice her when she tapped his shoulder.

His head turned fast, a look of surprise as she stood there with a shy smile

"I um didn't catch your name yesterday" she said as she held her purse strap tighter

"that's because you didn't ask for it. A little too busy telling me to fuck off" he teased, a small smirk as he turned his body to fully face her

She nodded and licked her lips, "yeah about that....I'm sorry again. I was so out of line" she admitted

Eddie appreciated how genuine she sounded. How her eyes were nervous and her body language was on edge. She was more shy than he thought.

"it's Eddie Munson, And you are?" He asked, reaching out his hand, covered in rings and black nail polish.

She may have tried to hide it, but he saw the shock on her face when he asked for her name

A glance around the shop before her eyes landed back on his.

"not to sound so full of myself, but are you shitting with me?" She questioned, hand still reaching to shake his. She tried to ignore the goosebumps that filled her arms as she felt his soft touch and cold rings.

"what? I'm new here, am I supposed to know you?" He acted dumb. Zack's words in his brain. He needed to act cool, and like he doesn't know a single thing about the goddess across from him, holding his hand

"Y/N" she smiled, he understood why she never gave her last name, and he knew not to ask.

He felt a little disappointed when she removed her hand, offering another smile as she turned and walked out the door

"WAIT. CAN WE TALK?" he yelled after her

His heart raced as she turned around with a big smirk of her own

"I only talked to you to tell you that you have a receipt sticking to your shoe"

Eddie looked down at his shoes confused and sure enough, a white piece of paper was underneath him

He looked up but she was already gone. Once again getting nowhere he groaned and picked up the piece of paper

He went to crumble it up when he noticed it wasn't a receipt, it was her number.

Zack was proud of the progress and told Eddie to slowly begin to text her. To seem friendly but interested. But how was Eddie supposed to flirt with a girl way out of his league?

He didn't text her that night, still trying to figure out what was the best thing to say. He couldn't just say "hey" or "hi" but he also couldn't go straight to ask her on a date.

So he went with "what's your coffee order?"

She questioned him no doubt, but still gave her coffee order.

And she felt the most stupid huge smile on her face when she saw Eddie walk in the record shop holding two cups of coffee

"so this is why" she laughed, she could feel her palms getting sweaty as she got flustered.

"going to be honest, I had no idea what to say and google said it was a good pick up line" he teased, handing her the warm cup of coffee. Her name scribbled in his messy handwriting

"well....it worked. Want to go drink these somewhere? Maybe sit and talk?" She offered

Eddie nodded instantly. Not because he had a job to do but because he already was smitten with her.

They sat and talked for hours. A hidden bench that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. No watchful eyes or flashing cameras. She never brought up her dad, her music or her being famous and he didn't ask. He honestly loved learning the stuff about her that no one else knows. Shit the internet didn't even pick up on. Like how she blows on her coffee before every single sip, even though it's cold from sitting for two hours. The bitchy exterior was a mask and a way to protect herself. He's never seen her smile this much. All the photos on her social media, the red carpets, the awards, none of those smiles matched the one he's been memorized by for the whole day.

Zack's plan just got a whole lot harder

~~~

Tags !

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire

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#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson request #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson angst x reader #eddie munson fluff x reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson series #famous daddy series #ashwhowrites

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