#and then i can pack my bags for tomorrow and i'll somehow make it through the neuropsych exam

[bredforloyalty]

once again kind of fucked academically so i guess i will idk reblog some poasts .

[sweetiesicheng]

s.coups - slice of our lives

word count : 1,932

happy birthday to our handsome s.coups ~

-

"finally," you mutter as you sit down on a stack of wooden pallets. you just finished cleaning for the night at the restaurant you work at, but you couldn't help but think about the mistakes you had made earlier during tonight's service.

you dig through your backpack for a bit before opening one of the pockets. you take a box of cigarettes out and open the box to see your lighter and two cigarettes left. you take a cigarette out and light it up.

as you sit in the silence of the alley behind the restaurant, you try to calm down before going home for the night. you don't want to go home still thinking about the service since you have work tomorrow as well.

when you're done smoking the first cigarette, you drop the end onto the ground and reach down to smash it with your foot. the back door to the kitchen suddenly opens, and you see the expeditor walking out.

"hey," seungcheol greets when he notices you.

"hey," you greet back and light the second cigarette.

"you look beat," he comments as he takes his jacket off.

"cause i am," you reply. "we were slammed tonight."

"front of house messed up a lot since myungho’s out sick. we already chewed them out for it,” he mentions. he walks over to you and stands in front of you. "need a ride home?" he offers.

you shake your head, "no. i live pretty far. i'm going to leave after i'm done," you say to him.

"can i stay to make sure you get on your way safely?" he asks, "my mother would kill me if she somehow found out i left one of my coworkers by herself in this crusty alley."

you crack a smile, a first for the night. then, you nod your head. "yea, you can keep me company," you say to him. "i'd offer you a cigarette but i'm out."

he shakes his head, "i don't smoke, not anymore at least."

"better than me," you manage a laugh out. then you sigh, feeling emotions starting to bust out again, but you try to suppress them in front of your coworker.

"you okay?" seungcheol asks you. "hey, look at me. y/n, look at me."

you look down at the ground and watch your falling tears hit the pallet. seungcheol reaches over to take the cigarette away from your hand.

"hey, listen," seungcheol says to you and crouches down in front of you, enough to where he is in your view. "tonight was rough, for everyone. front of house was a mess, and chef shouldn't have taken you off of your station. you're a rockstar in there. no one else can work the desserts better than you."

you start to smile as you listen to him. then you chuckle, "yea, no one better than chef," you say.

"oh whatever. when we had family dinner that one time and you two had your little competition. everyone knew you were the best, even chef. if you hadn't beaten him, then you would have never stepped foot in that kitchen again. you're in that kitchen with all of us for a reason," seungcheol says to you. he reaches in and wipes some of your tears away. "need another pack?" he asks, noticing the empty box next to you.

you shake your head, "i’ll buy one another time," you say to him. "um, thanks. sorry you had to see that," you say to him and wipe the remaining tears with your sleeve.

"no worries. take it easy on yourself," seungcheol replies.

—

"y/n?"

you look over your shoulder and have to do a double take when you see seungcheol.

"oh, hey," you greet and look back at the mixer. "give me a second," you say to him.

"no, you're good. just wanted to tell you that i left something for you in your bag. keep it up," he says before walking away.

you smile and continue working. there are two desserts for tonight's service, but they're the ones you usually go with. with one of the line cooks helping you out today, the two of you finish preparing everything.

eventually, service begins and you help prep ingredients for the next day since you'll have to wait a bit until people want to eat their desserts.

"y/n, i'll love you forever if you save me a piece of cake. i want to bring my girlfriend something yummy from work," one of the line cooks says to you as she passes by.

"you should bring her here," you say to her. "i'll pack you two if we have any leftover," you say and continue prepping ingredients while she goes back to her station.

once some more time passes during service, you start making the desserts for customers as you hear orders called out.

"coming through. watch your feet," you hear someone say as they walk through with a tray.

"shoot, we need more strawberries," the line cook with you says. "i thought we had enough," he mumbles while finishing off making a dessert.

"i can grab more. finish these for me," you say to your coworker before leaving your station. you quickly go into the walk-in fridge and grab more strawberries before leaving. you quickly walk back, trying to avoid being in the way of the other chefs and employees. "here you go," you say to your coworker.

"thanks," he replies before finishing the desserts and bringing them to the pass.

the rest of service goes smoothly, much better than the past few shifts where you had been more stressed out. after you finish cleaning for the night, you grab your stuff and notice something in your bag, a new box of cigarettes. there's a note attached to it with a phone number and a smiley face drawn onto it.

you smile and pack up your things before leaving. you put your headphones on and start walking to the subway station.

—

[ y/n ]

you trying to keep me

hooked?

[ seungcheol ]

just trying to save you a trip.

did not mean to supply to

your habit.

my apologies. my apologies. 🙇🏻‍♂️

[ y/n ]

haha all good

thanks

[ seungcheol ]

no problem. get home safe.

—

the door to the condo slams open, "am i late?" seungcheol asks as he hurries in, all while holding a pizza box.

"you have three minutes. come on, sit. i'm hungry," you say to him as you crack open two beer cans.

"the pilot better not follow her again," seungcheol says as he throws his jacket onto the arm of the couch. he sits down next to you and pulls the coffee table closer to the couch so you two can reach easier.

"do you think she'll give a rose to him?" you ask as the show starts. "oh, not him!" you shout when you see an eliminated contestant back on the screen. “what is he doing?”

"geez...that's embarrassing," seungcheol comments.

the two of you watch the newest episode of "the bachelorette" together. both of you mentioned how you wanted to hang out, so you two eventually set up a date on one of the days that the restaurant is closed.

"that is way too embarrassing," seungcheol comments again as you two watch what is happening. "and what he said to her was even more embarrassing."

"yea, he's kind of aloof about all of this," you say as you grab a slice of pizza. "i'm surprised he hasn't gotten out yet. i bet he's just in this still cause he's cute," you add on as you watch the episode.

"you think he's cute?" seungcheol asks you. you look over at him.

you shrug, "i mean, yea. he's cute, but he's all over the place," you reply.

seungcheol leans back, putting his arm on the back of the couch. he tilts his head as he looks at you. "what about me?" he asks.

"huh?"

"am i cute?”

you stare at him, pizza in hand. you can feel yourself blushing from his words, knowing that your answer is in your face.

"you're cute. did you know that?" seungcheol asks.

"we're supposed to be watching "the bachelorette" right now," you say to him, trying to calm down internally at the same time.

he grins, "alright. let's watch," he says to you before looking at the tv screen again.

you look forward, eating a bit of pizza and trying to focus on the latest episode. you finish your slice and finish off the beer too. the episode continues on with a few dates and a jaw dropping moment happening.

you sit back on the couch with a second beer in hand. while watching, you feel seungcheol move his arm to be on your shoulders. since you want to be comfortable, you eventually lean against seungcheol as you two watch the episode together.

"damn, i should've bought flowers..." seungcheol mutters while the bachelorette starts handing roses to certain people. you look at seungcheol again. "you didn't hear that."

"uh huh," you start and look at the tv screen, "right." you chuckle while you hear seungcheol sigh. "you can give me some next time i come over," you say to him.

"next time? you're giving me a next time?" seungcheol asks.

you look at him again and smile, "you're cute too, choi seungcheol."

—

"stop! i'm testing new flavors!" you whine at seungcheol, who is trying to snag another piece of cake from the counter. "seungcheol! just wait like five more minutes."

"it's just one cake, y/n. you have a bunch of them. i'm sure it's great," seungcheol says to you, finally standing away from the table. with no cake in hand, he crosses his arms and leans against a counter while watching you decorate the cakes and put little details on top of them. "you going to make this for tomorrow's service?"

"yea. i've been thinking about making new stuff lately," you mention. "i think it'll be good for a change," you say and pick up a plate. "okay, taste test please," you say to seungcheol and hand him the plate.

he grabs the plate with one hand and opens a drawer next to him to take a fork out. he cuts into the dessert and takes a bite. you watch his expression change into a smile.

"oh, that's really good, babe," he says to you and continues eating. "i think this is better than the chocolate mousse."

"let me try," you request. seungcheol feeds you a piece. "i think it needs something on top," you state your opinion. "maybe just something for color."

you open the fridge and start looking for something to garnish the dessert before opening the freezer as well.

"what about this?" seungcheol points to something in the freezer.

"you think?" you ask.

"you have more of them, so it can't hurt to try," seungcheol says to you.

you make more desserts with little modifications to them, trying to determine which one is the best. seungcheol gives his opinions, which helps you a lot as both of you taste everything.

"this one is the best," you say to him, pointing at one of the cakes.

seungcheol nods, "yea, that one is really good. i like this one a lot too."

"hmm...maybe i should just wait until next week. i'll need to ask mingyu to order some ingredients at the restaurant," you say to him.

"you have plenty of time," seungcheol says to you. "you did a great job," he adds with a smile.

"thanks for helping me out."

"of course, babe."

[lale-txt]

𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐇 (𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫) ❦ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟏: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬

♫ Middle Kids - Bootleg Firecracker

I'll be your midnight bootleg firecracker I could blow up in your hand It could be great or a disaster That's the point that I am after

✰ 𝐜𝐰: the panic attack from the prologue is continuing here for a bit! written part between the handwritten notes and SMAU parts.

⭅ back to m.list

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Everything is on autopilot; it always is when the panic takes over. The blood rushing in your ears, the air squeezed out of your lungs, the blurry tunnel vision. Your shaky hands slam a few banknotes too many on the counter but you don’t wait for the change back; you’re out the door already when a voice is calling out to you, but you ignore it. Everything in you is telling you to run.

Foolish. So damn foolish. You’ve always been like that, haven’t you? Falling in love with the idea of someone; blindly following a siren call only to turn into a wreck. It’s a familiar pain, there’s a strange sense of safety in it. Don’t fly too close to the sun, don’t get loved too much, or else you’ll burn yourself.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

Makki is talking relentlessly to you on the phone. He knows how quiet you get once the anxiety kicks in, how you can’t focus on anything but the overwhelming urge to run, how hard something as simple as breathing is when you get into your head like this. You wish he were here to hold your hand through this. You wish you never came here at all. You wish you weren’t so desperate to be loved.

Are you outside? Okay, good. Can you sit down somewhere till Bokuto picks you up? A bank maybe? Oh, wait, your location says there’s a playground right around the corner. You see it? Do they have swings? Remember in high school when Oikawa kissed the ground face first when we challenged each other who could swing the highest? You and I laughed so hard we almost had an accident. And of course Hajime won, stupid beefy monster that he is. Bet he’d still do, we should really try it out next time we’re all visiting home. Ah, there’s a vending machine? I knew that beeping was familiar. Whatcha gettin’? The same juice box like you always do? You know what we should do tomorrow when you get home? Grab some boba from the store you had pinned forever, my treat.

The tight knot in your chest is slowly unraveling as you listen to your best friend’s voice. In the background you occasionally hear Yukie munching on something, probably the vegetable chips you made yesterday. She’s less calm than Makki is, you can tell from the lack of blissful humming she usually does when eating and her hushed voice, asking Akaashi when Bokuto will get there. Despite everything, you manage to let out a small, hoarse laugh. At least it will make a great story with some water down the bridge.

“There you are.”

A warm voice, kind. Almost familiar, as if you’ve heard it in a dream before. You look over your shoulder and freeze, almost dropping your juice box. It’s not Bokuto, but the same guy from Onigiri Miya who you snapped at earlier when he asked if you were alright, while blotches of snot were dripping on your half-eaten onigiri. You feel hot shame creep up your neck, your heart rate picking up again. He tips his cap back a bit to get a better look at you under the dim light of the street lantern and you feel the urge to flee again.

“You were gone so fast, I couldn’t give you this,” he puffs, as if he actually ran after you. He holds up a brown paper bag, the logo of the shop stamped on it. “Since you didn’t seem to enjoy the onigiri you had at the shop, I packed you some more to eat when you’re feeling more like it.”

“That’s not necessary” you mutter while your eyes dart left and right, searching for a way to escape this situation. Somehow he is making your skin crawl; not because you feel like he’s gonna harm you, but because he makes you feel seen and you really, really hate that.

“Please.”

He takes a step towards you and shoves the bag into your hands, almost making you drop your phone. Makki on the other end calls out your name, sounding slightly concerned, but who wouldn’t be when their friend was approached by a stranger at night in an unfamiliar place far, far away from home?

“I don’t want it,” you say, your voice a bit more steady now. Your brows furrow and for the first time you look back at him. Somehow your panic is slowly getting replaced by irritation. Just what was his problem? “You’ll get in trouble when your boss finds out that you’re giving out stuff for free.”

This makes him laugh; a sound so clear and warm, washing away your worries for a fleeting second. How strange.

“It’s sweet that you worry, but I am the boss,” he replies with a smug smile and uses the second of surprise to firmly plant the paper bag into your hands. His fingers graze your skin and you can’t help but notice how warm they are; and you think about flying close to the sun again and it makes you want to cry.

Everything in you wants to run from this kindness. Run, before someone can notice that you don’t actually deserve it. You’re good at that, aren’t you? 

For a few heartbeats you’re too stunned to speak and the bag with onigiri weighs heavy in your hands. Hot shame crawls up your spine and your neck again, remembering how you cried at the counter and snapped at him like a hurt dog. Why would he even come after you, when you’ve already made your best effort to push him away? To get rejected again? You couldn’t even fathom to imagine.

“Hold up,” you say eventually when he’s about to turn around and leave, probably sensing your discomfort. You wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, with this faint smile playing upon his lips and his dark eyes searching yours, searching for something you could never offer and yet you can’t look away either. Your stomach is doing a funny little flip. 

From the depths of your bag you pull out the marred box of cupcakes you still have with you and hold them out for him. You don’t dare to look inside, but you can imagine they must look like a hot mess by now (probably even worse than you feel at this moment). 

“They’re lemon lavender cupcakes,” you explain and look away, rubbing the back of your neck. “After my own recipe. I baked like ten trays of them last night and those are from the best batch but I doubt they’re still any good now. The rest I left with my roommates, though honestly they’re not the best food critics and just happy when they’re being fed.”

Without noticing, your voice gets a bit more steady and excited now that you get to ramble about food, your brain pleased over the distraction. It’s the one thing that always helped with the panic. Your fingers are still fiddling, your weight shifting from one foot on the other, but your breathing is calmer now and the instinct to run is subsiding. 

“The lavender syrup I used for them is homemade, too. Tastes great with some sparkling water and mint. We grew the lavender I used on our rooftop garden. I’ll admit I’m not the best at keeping plants alive, but Akaashi does that for us thankfully, he’s amazing. I also have some tomatoes growing there, and tomato salad in this summer heat just hits differently in my opinion. Anyway, sorry for the cupcakes, I don’t know why I gave them to you, they’ve probably gone bad by now so you can just throw them out and–”

“What’cha talkin’ about? These are amazing,” the guy mutters with his mouth full, one smushed cupcake in his hand that he took a big bite out of like an apple, buttercream at the corner of his mouth. You snap out of your haze and blink at him as he takes another big bite, eyes widening and head nodding approvingly as he chews. 

He doesn’t seem like he’s lying or doing it only out of politeness–because you obviously had a very bad night–no; it’s as if he’s genuinely enjoying the food you made. Something inside of you twists again and it’s all too much. 

Thank fuck you don’t have to think about this any further, because the familiar face of Bokuto appears from around the corner, eyes lightening up when he recognizes you as well. He waves from a distance and you grab your things, hurrying past the boy who makes your tummy feel funny and towards Akaashi’s boyfriend who holds out his arms for you. You fling yourself into them for a quick hug and then quickly drag him away, unable to think about anything but putting some distance between… well, everything. 

“Was that Myaa-sam? You know him?”, Bokuto asks when he shoulders your bag, one arm around you as you walk back to his place. He’s not loosening his grip around you and you have a good idea what Akaashi must have ordered him to do: Don’t leave Y/N alone until she’s on her train back tomorrow.

“His onigiri are the best! I always tell Kashi he should bring you some when he’s here but he has no self-control and eats them all in one go. They taste best fresh anyway, you should try them while you’re here,” Bokuto rambles. You’re grateful for it, though. It’s easier than having to explain everything that happened and why your heart seems unable to stop pounding, and it helps you not to scream when really it’s all you want to do right now.

✽ 𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐫𝐮𝐧…

only a handful fun facts because this chapter is long as it is heh

yes the Tokyo group can afford an apartment with a rooftop garden. no i don't know how. one of them is secretly rich i guess (probably Makki)

Kiyoomi and Y/N sang Good Luck, Babe! 31 times that night

Atsumu makes a horrible bartender but somehow no one is stopping him either

Y/N likes to scribble every fleeting thought down because otherwise she will forget them in a heartbeat

grocery store runs together are one of her favorite activities with friends

✰ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓:

@brithedemonspawn @notverymarley @yuminako @gigiiiiislife @wyrcan

@krissiekris @kentocalls @simp-simp-no-mi

send me an ask or dm to be added (or removed, no hard feelings ♡)! minors DNI!

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

i offer you: mega cowboy angst when he is having a really hard time feeling like he has a place within the team. it's mostly just self-doubt until he goes for a walk one night and sees the team all laughing at a table in a restaurant together and his sweet little southern heart breaks. Maybe he even goes as far as to ask hotch if he's doing anything wrong or for an impromptu performance review and mentions even considering transferring teams because he really wanted this to be his family, but he just feels like an outsider intruding on what is a family, but not his.

Warnings: accused of lying, insecurities, feeling left out, actually being left out tbh, er yeah (all is sorted by the end tho)

Part 3.

Click for Part 1

Click for Part 2

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies @woodandwaxwings @wizardmon3 @aphroditeslovr @ducks118

You have to give him some credit, he at least waited until everyone else was gone before he accused you of lying, that had to count for something. He waited until the rest of the team was debriefing the police - although you had no doubt the rest of the team knew exactly what Hotch was telling you right now.

"We don't lie to people on this team. Unsubs or not." Hotch said sternly.

"Excuse me?"

"We do not lie to people."

"Sir, I did not tell that kid a single lie." You defended, "I told that kid the truth. I ain't one to sugarcoat things to make it easier for everyone else to stomach. If you don't believe me, that's fine. But that is not my responsibility to fix. If you don't believe me, that's on you, not me."

Hotch raises his eyebrows, "Excuse me?" He steps closer to you, as if you're somehow trying to intimidate him or demean his position.

"Sir, I meant no disrespect, but I did not tell that kid a single lie. And I honestly find it mildly offensive that you assumed I did." You answer, "I understand you don't know me, that maybe other agents have lied in the past, but I have never and will never lie in a negotiation."

You stare at each other for a moment, "Is there any point in me comin' in tomorrow, sir?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do I still have a place here or do I need to look for another placement elsewhere?"

"I'll see you tomorrow." Is all Hotch says and with that, you leave the room. You don't say much after that, simply watching the team do their usual pack-up-to-go-home routine.

When you get home, you throw your go-bag onto your couch, making a mental note to repack it in case there was another case tomorrow before you decide to head out for something to eat. Perhaps a takeout - you really did not feel like cooking. And so, you begin your usual walk to the restaurant you always get takeout from. You paus, seeing the team through the window.

They don't see you, but you see them. Laughing around a table, eating, drinking. A sour feeling settles in your stomach as you realise this is a family. Just not yours. As you realise you were just trying to force your way into a family that's already bonded, that's already fully formed. You're an outsider looking in who has little to no chance of every truly being part of it.

With that realisation, you turn around and head home, already planning what you were going to say to Hotch tomorrow at work. You can cook, a homemade (frozen) meal after a case would be good.

The next morning, you arrive with your usual attitude (tired but generally happy to be here and rearing to go).

JJ gives you an apologetic look as she waves the case as she walks, "We've got another case," She says, making her way to the roundtable room. You follow, ensuring that you reach ahead to open the door for her - giving a small smile as she went past.

You listen to the case, not interjecting at all, simply letting the team go about their usual routine. Besides, half of you believed that the team wouldn't even hear you if you did. When Hotch calls wheels up, you stay sat.

You wait until he's the only one left in the round table room before you start asking. "Is there somethin' wrong with my work?" You watch as Hotch shakes his head.

"No."

"Is it somethin' I've done?"

"No, (Y/N) why are you asking me these questions?"

"I get teams are close, sir, I do. And I get this is a family n I just don't wanna be the one that intrudes on that." You say, "I don't wanna be the outsider n I understand that may mean more time, but I'm givin' you the chance to tell me whether or not you want me here - if the team want me here. N I won't hold a grudge or say nothin', I'll just put in a transfer."

"(Y/N), there's no need for a transfer." Hotch said honestly, "I'm sorry we've made you feel this way - particularly myself. I find it hard to trust new members."

"Because I was heavily recommended by Strauss?"

Hotch sighs but nods, "Yes," He answers.

"I didn't do anythin' funny to get here," You answered, "I simply just put in an application and Strauss recommended me after readin' it."

"I know that now. I'm sorry." He said. "I hope we can move past this?"

You nod, "Of course, sir, I would also like to apologise for my behaviour,"

"I think you behaviour was perfectly acceptable given the circumstances." Hotch replied. "Come on, we've lost a vital five minutes before wheels up."

"Why is it called that anyway?" You asked, "Is it because the jet wheels go up?"

"Rossi and Gideon used to say it when I joined, it's a rite of passage now."

"Huh, still slightly cheesy though," Hotch merely chuckled.

[allieisacrybaby]

A few soft-ish thoughts for you. I hope tomorrow is a less exhausting day ♡

Danny - Danny strikes me as someone who would be super aware/intune with how you're feeling and will go out of his way to make sure that your mood switches. You're sitting on the couch scrolling absentmindedly through instagram after a kind of rough day when a book falls into your lap, Booze & Vinyl: A Spirited Guide to Great Music and Mixed Drinks, Danny's standing behind you with a huge grin on his face "how do you feel about drinking through our favourite albums tonight? There's nothing that Janis Joplin and The Beatles can't fix and I'm dying to try the Purple Rain"

Sam - Sammy's always joking (for better or for worse okay) but it's because his favourite thing is to hear people laugh and especially hear your laugh. Let's say you're at a vintage clothing store, one of those ones that are 2 stories and packed to the brim. You have a small bag of things and when you turn around to ask an opinion about a pair of glasses Sam's standing there in a fedora and a pair of heart shaped glasses "what about this as a new look?". Somehow for the next bit every time you see him he has something different on; a gaudy ruffle skirt and shirt that says "my favourite people call me grandma" and, a top hat and a tie with flames that lights up "I'm just trying to find some new looks for the stage okay, keep it fresh on tour"

THANK YOU KATY!!!<3

These are so sweet! I don't know what words to use to express how much this makes me feel so soft and loved. This is a little off topic but I have been listening to Tango in the Night by Fleetwood Mac on repeat (because I just got the vinyl), and I keep thinking, "I bet Danny loves this album too"

Also, Sammy having some ongoing bit to keep himself occupied while I am shopping is the funniest thing! Like a little kid, you can't take him anywhere!

Tomorrow should be much less stressful. I had two back-to-back classes today that are so early! Tomorrow I only have one class, and I'll be working on that essay. Fingers crossed, I can get it edited, submitted, and get a good grade!

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

I'm off work for three whole weeks now (I save my leave up so that I can take a good long time off at this time of year because I know I'm going to need it), and then for my first two weeks back I'll be working at home because I have a database-wrangling task to do and I can concentrate so much more easily at home.

I have a study at long last! We finished it last weekend, and I've spent a good bit of time in it and somehow I feel a lot more motivated to do stuff when sitting at a desk (except this afternoon but never mind, we can't have everything). Photos when I've sorted out everything that's going on the walls - probably at the end of next week, as I won't have the chance before because...

...tomorrow I am heading off to Heathrow and early on Wednesday morning I have a flight to Hamburg to spend a week with my lovely friends who live deep in the Schleswig-Holstein countryside. HOORAY! It's really crept up on me, but I've just packed my case and everything fits (so far) and it only weighs about 15kg out of my baggage allowance of 23kg. A minor miracle. Keeping my fingers crossed that the baggage handlers' strike today and tomorrow doesn't have too much of a knock-on effect on my bag going with me on Wednesday, and that the Border Force strike doesn't have too much of an effect on me clearing passport control when I come back next Thursday as I forgot I was coming into terminal 5 rather than terminal 3 and only have an hour between my flight arriving and my coach leaving, OOPS.

I have rediscovered the scarves I was knitting for our local homelessness charity while I was off work sick seven years ago (sigh), and found that I still had yarn for three more scarves, so I'm in the middle of making them. It's a super simple pattern, extra chunky wool and big needles so they're knitting up nice and quickly and it's extremely therapeutic. I dropped the first batch (two carrier bags full) into the charity's community cafe/warm space in town last week, and they wouldn't let me go without taking cake with me, as 'nobody leaves here empty handed' in the founder's words. They do fantastic work all year round and quite honestly the guy who founded it deserves a knighthood. I'll be going back in the new year with more scarves. :D

I've finished all my festive fic challenges, plus another prompt-fic, and am hoping for plenty of inspiration while travelling/waiting for my flights/etc. I suspect there will be at least one lazy, quiet afternoon while staying with my friends, so am hoping to get some knitting and writing done.

Not to mention studying, as I've got a bit to catch up on and an assignment to start thinking about. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed as I'm really struggling to remember the terminology, but I had a tutorial on Saturday and the tutor explained a few things in a way that finally made them make sense - and she also said that there have been a few people feeling overwhelmed in the forums, but that it's pretty usual for this part of the course as we've had so much new information piled on us in a short time (I'm already 50% through the course, more or less O.O ) - so I went and checked out the forum threads and found lots of encouragement from the student buddies, who have studied the course before, and the teaching staff - one of the prior students said she never did memorise all the terminology and was using crib sheets right up to the final assignment. Which is reassuring - and at least I can do that with this course, since none of the assessment is in real time.

I have the Job Number Two Christmas party this evening - which is a treat for the staff of both estates, laid on by the family we work for/the estates (my other job is local authority so we don't get a paid-for do - but this one is always rather nice), and is taking place in the main location which is a real honest-to-god castle that has appeared in many film and TV productions :D :D :D Drinks in the Long Drawing Room at 7, and dinner in the Great Hall at 7.30. I feel properly fancy every time XD The missus is giving me a lift there and back too, so I can have a couple of glasses of wine, which tends to take the edge off having to talk shop all evening (I usually end up sitting with one of my volunteers, or with one member of the family or another, and I don't know anyone well enough to talk about anything else XD it's usually entertaining sitting with any of the family though).

ANYWAY. Festive greetings to all of you, a very happy Hanukkah to those of you who are celebrating, and Solstice blessings and a Merry Christmas and all good wishes to everyone else. :D

[casspurrjoybell-17]

Hart and Hunter - Chapter 15 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Dane Hunter

With his tale at an end and his injuries treated, Halloran insists he's fit to drive himself home.

So, after dropping Julian at the cottage, I take him back to where we'd left his car.

When I pull to the curb behind his vehicle, he makes no move to get out and remains in his seat.

I'm about to ask if he wants me to take him home, after all, when he speaks.

"Thank you for giving me the chance to explain myself," he says.

"I'm not sure I'd have had the patience in your place."

"Why's that?" I ask, my voice rough after the long silence.

"Because I'm a Wolf?"

He gives me an apologetic smile.

"Yes, partly but more so because your mate is Fae."

"And?"

Halloran doesn't answer immediately and turns back to the window.

I take the opportunity to study him in detail, having hardly recognized him in the tunnel.

The man I'd met at Lagrange's funeral had been plain as a brown paper bag, while the man beside me is as beautiful as Julian, in his own way.

"I didn't know my sister's son had a child," he murmurs.

"No one did, until you came to the Council for help last year. Julian has been the subject of much debate since that time."

"In what way?" I ask, my misgivings stirring to life once more.

"He represents a rare and powerful bloodline and he carries the legacy of the 'Leannan Sidhe'. Having come of age here, in this world, he's also uniquely suited to continue that bloodline and legacy. Some among the Court are eager for him to return home."

"This is his home."

Halloran nods.

"I prefer this world myself, to be honest. I like the grit and grime of it. Feels more real, somehow. But Faerie calls to the Fae heart, they say and even I hear and heed it, time to time."

"If you got a point, make it," I snap.

Unfazed, Halloran gives me a crooked smile.

"It's just that you ought to know others may take an interest in Julian's fate, before long. He's spoken for, aye," he continues, seeing the protest on my face.

"That's clear enough from where I stand but you must know that plenty among both your people and mine would be loath to recognize a union such as yours and would sooner offer poison than blessings."

I lift my brows at him.

"Are you telling me not to trust the Fae?"

"Well," he winks,

"it is good advice, after all."

Mindful of his shoulder, he gets out, shuts the door and leans through the open window.

"I'll be in touch. I'm afraid we've bungled the tunnels, if there was anything useful down there, Rhiannon will have moved or destroyed it by now but I'd still like a closer look at the portal. That's not going anywhere. Perhaps tomorrow, after we've all had a good rest, we can meet up again. Invite your Shifter friend if you like and I'm sure Julian will have more questions for me as well."

"I'm sure," I murmur as he pats the roof and walks away.

I watch him for a moment, then shake my head, pull onto the street and head for home.

He doesn't have to warn me against the lure of the Fae.

The first one I'd ever met stole my heart the instant I laid eyes on him.

I find Julian resting on the couch when I return home, a pillow and an ice pack beneath his wrist.

I try not to disturb him as I hang up my jacket and keys but he stirs and sits up, blinking blearily as I come over to check on him.

"Hey, beautiful," I say, brushing stray strands of silky brown hair away from his face.

"Where's Ingrid at?"

"Chloe and Grace's," he says.

"She brought her cello over to practice and don't 'hey beautiful' me," he adds, pretending to frown.

"It's gonna take more than a little sweet-talk to make up for this."

He nods at his wrist.

I know he's not serious but it gets me anyway and a shard of guilt goes right through my heart.

He sees it, and all traces of humor vanish.

"Dane, don't," he says, laying his uninjured hand on my arm as I sit next to him.

"It was an accident."

Rubbing my thumb over the back of his fingers, I frown.

"Accident or not, I hurt you."

He shakes his head.

"I might have shot you. You did the right thing, you protected yourself and neutralized an unknown threat."

"That's the problem," I argue.

"I should have known it was you. I should have sensed it, your smell, your heartbeat, the sound of your breath. I know them better than my own and yet..."

"I was covered in dust and Halloran's blood," he counters.

"I can smell you now, just fine."

"Because you know what to look for."

He sighs, tucking himself against my side.

"Look, it doesn't matter. I'm safe and you're safe, that's what matters."

I try to listen to him and to let it lie but I just can't.

"What about next time?" I ask.

He leans away again to look at me, purple eyes seeking mine.

"What do you mean?"

"What if I'm the one with the gun, Julian?"

He blinks, taken aback.

"You're too well-trained for that. You'd never use lethal force without knowing exactly what you were shooting at."

"Training can't prepare you for everything," I say.

"Real life seldom resembles textbook examples. Real life is messy and decisions and mistakes, get made in split seconds. Believe me, I know."

He frowns, the soft light in his amethyst eyes dimming as he ponders this.

"Okay, then what's the solution?" he asks.

"Because you can't just lock me in a padded room for the rest of my life to keep bad things from happening to me. I mean, you could but I wouldn't like it," he adds, a hint of his mischievous smile returning to play at his lips.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Exits Revised

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

I know Emmett is inside already so it'll be okay. I park right in front of the house and walk in really quickly.

He hops off the couch and pulls me into his arms and that's when I lose it.

I have been fucking petrified all day but I had to pretend like everything was fine.

I had to work, I had to handle everything.

Now maybe Emmett can help me.

"Hey darling."

He kisses my cheek and I twist around so he can kiss me properly and as usual... I am not disappointed.

"Missed you," I mumble, staring at my shoes.

He still has his arms on my shoulders and pulls me back in for a hug.

"Thought about you all day. You should have woken me up this morning, we could have talked."

"Didn't want to talk. Still don't. Can it wait until we get to the hotel?"

Something smells divine... I'm glad dinner won't be too long.

I hate that I'm nervous here, on edge.

This house is supposed to be my safe space and right now I feel anything but...

"Sure. I already took care of Marten and packed. If you wanna head up and do yours now we can leave right after we eat."

That sounds great.

A car backfires as I step back and Emmett practically hits the floor and takes me with him.

He steadies me, then drops his hands.

"Sorry."

That's when I realize that I'm a moron.

He was so cool about everything last night that I really didn't think it had bothered him.

In fact, when I was staring at the ceiling for hours listening for any little noise because I was petrified they'd come back... I was a little pissed that he was so damn relaxed about it, so dismissive.

He's been through so much worse that somehow I figured that this wasn't affecting him and I was so, so wrong.

I wonder if he's been like this all day or if it's worse now that he's home.

"Don't apologize Emmett. You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah."

So he's back to dismissive, okay.

"Fine, it just scared me for a second."

"Alright."

Mr. Tough guy obviously doesn't want to talk about it.

"Well, it would be perfectly reasonable if you weren't okay. I'm not."

Does he really think I expect him to be okay after someone broke into his house?

I really wouldn't mind him needing me every now and then and he deserves to have someone to lean on.

Oh well, at least he's spending the night with me, maybe we can talk at the hotel.

"Have to drain the potatoes and get them mashed."

His mashed potatoes, yum.

I follow him in and he's made his Swiss steak.

At least that's what he calls it... I don't know why it's Swiss but it's thin pieces of steak simmering in this amazing red sauce that we then dump all over potatoes.

It takes awhile, he must have started it as soon as he got home.

Green beans too, with onions.

I'm a lucky boy.

He helps me pack after we eat and we have to both drive since he's working tomorrow morning.

I got Megan to get us a place fairly close to Wrecked so he wouldn't have to drive much further than usual.

It's nice, a suite with a kitchenette and separate bedroom.

I need a bit of space since I'm not sure how long I'll be here.

"Swanky, Finnegan. No Super Eight for you, eh?"

"As if."

He laughs, then tosses his bag in the corner.

"Bet it has a gym, I may use it tomorrow but I'm too tired tonight."

"It does and I need to get back into one desperately. You feed me too well."

"Nah, you're just right. So darling, can we talk now?"

Yeah, we need to.

"I want to be with you, Emmett but I don't feel safe there. I'm sorry. I know it makes things so much harder but I... I couldn't get back to sleep last night and I just... I have to get a good night's sleep."

"I know you do, Finnegan."

He runs his hands through his scrumptious waves and I wish those hands were on me instead.

"I don't know the answer. I have to be there... Marten is there and I won't let some asshole run me out of my own house."

I don't know how he'll react to this but I have to ask.

"Will you let me get an alarm system put in? I will worry myself sick about you sleeping there or being there at all. Please?"

He's staring towards the window even though the curtains are closed.

"I can come up with something... I don't want you to worry."

I can have someone there tomorrow, get the full monitoring and... but he's so reluctant to let me help.

I get it, I do but it's still frustrating.

"I don't mind," I tell him gently, my hand on his knee.

"It would be for me, really. Some peace of mind."

"Will you stay there again if I let you do it up how you want? I draw the lines on bars on the windows."

Lots of other folks in the city have them but ooh, that's a hard question.

"I don't know, Emmett. Honestly I don't. I want to tell you yes so you'll let me do it but I doubt I'd be able to sleep."

Or other things.

Things that matter.

I'm tired of sitting and stand up, walking towards the window.

"I'm so fucking mad."

He gives me time to yell some more but I don't.

Finally he says...

"Me too."

"That's our space. It's yours... I don't mean to... but that's where I get to be me."

"Oh."

I hear the bed move and he walks up behind me.

"I didn't think about 'Little Finn' about you being able to..." he sighs, then rests his chin on my shoulder.

"You have to feel safe to let your walls down and let him shine and you won't be able to, will you? At least not for awhile."

"Not..."

Maybe eventually.

"Not for awhile, no."

"I see. What about here? Can you do it here?"

I don't want to be crying, I don't but I'm exhausted and stressed out and I can't do the things, be the me I need to be, to help get rid of any of this weight or fear.

"Oh darling, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I manage to say and I'm fairly sure he'll be able to understand me.

"It just sucks."

"It does. Okay, come here."

He guides me back to the bed and we lay down and snuggle.

It's good, better.

"So how do we fix it? What about those apartments you were in before, maybe they have one open."

I tried that earlier.

"No, they're booked. Tried before getting the hotel."

And besides, that's not 'Little Finn's' place.

It's not mine either.

"You've mentioned getting a house twice now. I really wasn't ready to tackle that yet, darling but I feel like we need to seriously talk about it."

I thought about it earlier too, it would solve a lot of issues but only if he'll move in.

"But a house will take time, you can't move tomorrow."

"No, no, I know. And I don't want to rush you or push you. But I'm tired of moving, Emmett. I feel like a hot potato."

He's quiet.

"That took me a second but I got ya. Yeah, your Canton apartment, home to Michigan, my place, the beach and now a hotel. That's a lot in what? Two months?"

"Add two factories to that, I honestly don't know if I'm coming or going. Stop, that's too easy. I wish I was cumming, can we handle that soon?"

"That is one thing I can fix tonight Finnegan."

Thank God.

I'm going to ride him till he screams my name.

[wilson-is-a-slut]

ok so breakdown time!!

the whole first verse is so House coded in my brain like...

It's been three whole days since I've slept The sidewalk twists and turns The subs from the truck wake the neighborhood up But the buzz warms up my bed Dreams or real life? I can't decide what I like The time is running either way

this to me just feels like House every morning, like the one gta meme "aw shit here we go again" also him not sleeping is on par for the course. And not being able to decide between dreams and real life is why I think he watches General Hospital all the time.

The flies are in the house, I hear them making the rounds And they go something like this

For this I keep seeing an amv in my head where it zooms into House's head like how they do the cgi bits in the show and we see Cameron, Chase and Foreman (and maybe some of the other fellows) just going at it on guitar, bass and drums. (Cameron, Chase and Foreman respectively, idk I can just see Chase knowing his way around a bass)

Gotta work, gotta serve, gotta commit to the curse A thought would only get in the way Everything's a joke but thе bear has been poked Leavе your pack on, we're playing dead again

House has been "cursed" with being good at his job and his "punishment" is having to deal with people. Cuddy is the bear. Everything, to some extent, is a joke to House, and Cuddy doesn't like it when he "jokes around"

It doesn't matter, climb the ladder in your Sunday's best The city's got a sermon for you

On the very most surface level of House, it seems like he doesn't care about anything at all, this is the furthest from the truth. I think that the city is the hospital and the people there, always on him on ethics and the like. And following the amv again, I like to picture House in a suit, trying to climb a latter while holding out his cane for Wilson to grab to have him help him through whatever window it is he's trying to get through. Wilson is reaching for his cane in his lab coat

now on to the most crucial part....

But wait, hold on, I'm not ready to exist in this setting I gotta run it by my bathroom mirror And it's telling me ...Let me pick at your face...

This is the pre-chorus and chorus. House is saying, "gimme a sec, I gotta see if I look "presentable" enough" and I think that Wilson is the mirror, or at least an inverted mirror, and I'll get to why this is important once we get to the post-chorus

I see the blemish and the bags and recollections at hand You gotta let me pick at your face I got a bone to pick with your face later

The infamous post-chorus!! House looks at himself/Wilson and sees damage; a busted leg here, a failed marriage there, and everything in between. House wants to pick and poke and prod to get rid of it all (kinda like how he tried to fix his own leg) "I got a bone to pick with your face" suggests that House doesn't want to fix those things, but only to get rid of them, like beating up a bully to get them to leave you alone. You didn't really fix the problem, you just made the bullying stop and might have risked creating an entirely new problem

Feeling heavy like a levee in my broke down Chevy I barely made it up the hill There's no time for tired, let's defrost with a lighter Take the world on, we're feeling alive again It doesn't matter, like the latter, every day is the same The time is running either way

It's a fuck it, we ball kinda night, I guess. This is the surface of House showing again. Wanting to take on the world, but then going, "there's always tomorrow. General Hospital is on right now and I'd rather watch that." Also, not me thinking of the scene from Up about House barely making it up the hill. It somehow sorta fits

Got the keys in the ignition, we could bust through our mission And drive away from our aches and pains Weekends last forever when you make it out that way

The second pre-chorus has the amv juices in my brain going again. I can just see House and Wilson in Wilson's car driving away together to who knows where and enjoying every minute of it

I see the blemish and the bags, and recollections at hand You gotta let me pick at your face I got a bone to pick with your face So we can cover up the aches and pains

And finally the last post-chorus. House is seeing all of the things wrong with him and Wilson combined. It's like he begging to Wilson to let him take him apart, like those kids that buy cheep electronics just to take them apart to see how they work and to see if they can put it back together again. House is the kid and the cheep electronics are his busted leg and Wilson's failed marriages. Him wanting to take apart is a part of his twisted way of fixing things. He'll fix it by taking out the broken parts and calling it "good as new" when in reality, what he did actually made things worse. Also for the last line, I thought it was cauterize the aches and pains and not cover up the aches and pains. They technically sorta mean the same thing, and covering up and not dealing is also on par for the course with House, but cauterization is very homoerotic and an par for the course with hilson. Either way, this song is definitely 2024 House reincarnate

Cannot believe this analysis took me and hour, my brain is so wild istg. Thank you @greghousepogging for seeing the vision. Gotta let me know (when yo get the chance ofc) what you thought of my thought process.

@greghousepogging what do you think of pick at your face by yungatita as a house/hilson song??

[ilyasorokinn]

can i request “never letting go” hug prompt with joe burrow? ☺️

PRE-ROAD TRIP RITUALS

16. "'not wanting to let go' hugs" (from this prompt list)

tw: one curse word (ass)

whenever joe would go away on long road trips, it was a whole thing. you would spend the day before together, doing whatever you two wanted, and would cherish every moment together.

the morning before the roadie, you were both awoken by your dog, beau a toller. beau hopped onto your bed and started licking your faces.

"ugh, beau." joe groaned, pushing the dog's face away from his.

beau turned his attention to you, "silly boy." you giggled, scratching his head.

clearly, you were two different parents.

"come on, is it potty time?" you began to get up but were pulled back into bed by joe, "beau, save me." you hollered with a laugh.

the dog hopped back onto the bed and began barking at joe and trying to free you, "geez, i guess we know who your favorite parent is."

"he's protective of his mama." you laughed, unwrapping joe's arm from around your waist, and walking with beau out to the garden where he could do his business.

once he was done, you made your way back inside and headed to the kitchen so beau could have his post-bathroom treat. maybe you spoiled him a little.

"so, it was your turn to plan out joe and y/n day, what'd you plan?" you asked as you started making your coffee.

"well, i had us sleeping for another hour, but i guess we'll have to change some things around." joe looked down at beau, whose tail was wagging and he looked up at his dad happily.

"oh, come on. you can't be mad at him. he's too cute." you cooed, bending down and kissing beau's nose.

"anyways..." joe grabbed your attention, "we were gonna have a nice breakfast, prepared by moi. then we were gonna go to colour me mine..."

"awh." you smiled, "that's so cute."

"yeah, yeah, i know. i'm so cute and sentimental, moving on." he cut you off. you rolled your eyes at his sarcasm, "then we're gonna have lunch at that cute little cafe you like. then we're gonna come home and rewatch wandavision or the falcon and the winter soldier or whatever show you want to watch."

"you'd rewatch it with me?"

"of course, but only if we get to watch one of my shows next time."

"promise." you smiled, linking pinkies with him.

"and to end the night, i booked a reservation at your favorite restaurant."

"wow, you really went all out. i'm gonna have to think extra hard next time." you laughed.

joe did everything he could to make you smile and laugh. making stupid dad jokes or singing loudly off tune.

as you walked through the park near the restaurant, he had his arm thrown over your shoulders, occasionally pressing kisses to your head.

"did you have fun today?" he asked.

"i did." you smiled as you stopped under the gazebo.

"i'm glad." he hummed.

"i don't want you to leave me tomorrow." you pouted.

"i don't want to leave either." he pulled you into his arms, "but you'll have beau, and he loves you, almost as much, if not more than me."

"i know." you sighed, "let's just live in the moment."

"yeah, let's." he nodded.

the next morning, you packed some snacks into his bag and watched as joe said his goodbyes to beau, "bye, bud. i love you, even if mom's your favorite." you rolled your eyes.

"be good for mom. promise to take care of her?" he asked, picking up beau's paw, and shaking it, "good." he nodded, kissing the dog's head, then standing up.

he stood in front of you, wrapping both arms around you tightly, lifting you off the ground a little. you smiled sadly from over his shoulder and hugged him tightly.

"i love you."

"i love you, too." he sighed, somehow pulling you closer than before.

"you gotta go." you hated the words coming out of your mouth, "or your gonna be late, and i'm gonna have the entire state of ohio on my ass."

"i'll protect you," he stated proudly as he pulled away.

"i know you will." you reached up and cupped his cheek. you leaned up and kissed him.

you whispered a few more "i love you's" before you were pushing joe out the door and waving goodbye to him.

you looked down at beau, who would now become your guard dog now that joe wasn't home, "4 days all to ourselves." you sighed, "at least the toilet seat'll be down for 4 days." you mumbled under your breath as you walked back into the house.

[ashleycatchemm]

1-03: Ghosts

Part 3 out of ??

Pairings: Reggie x Reader, Luke x Julie, Alex x Willie

Summary: (Y/n) (L/n) has been able to see and feel ghosts ever since she was little, which made it hard to tell the ghosts from the humans. Everyone has always thought she was a bit crazy, even her best friends, Julie and Flynn. But when three ghosts with a love for music appear in Julie's garage, suddenly (Y/n) doesn't seem so crazy anymore.

Song: Ghosts (Micheal Jackson)

Season 1 Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

♬♩♪♩♬♩♪♩♬♩👻 ♪♩♬♩♪♩♬♩♪♩

That night I was at the club till 2 am the next morning. The first few hours being the busiest, full of none stop playing and flirting from Caleb which I ignored. Then after the first few hours, came the partying and drinking, of course I never got drunk there. I knew the dangers of getting drunk at a club and I didn't want to take those chances.

Parking my truck in my empty driveway, I hopped out, grabbing my stuff and quickly went inside. Tossing my bag to the side, I pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket, looking at it for the first time tonight, only to see a text from Julie.

Jules🎹: Hey, (Y/n), can you please help?

Jules🎹: Three ghosts just appeared at my house and I have no idea what to do!!

I rolled my eyes and scoffed at her text 'Is she seriously making fun of me right now?' I glared at my phone, still slightly intoxicated as anger courses through me.

Jules🎹: Hey, (Y/n), can you please help?

Jules🎹: Three ghosts just appeared at my house and I have no idea what to do!!

Me: Am I just somekind of fucking jo ke toyou?

I knew that Julie would never say something like that to be mean. But I couldn't help it. I was angry at her, for even saying something like that. Flynn and Julie both promised me they wouldn't bring that shit up and now here she is talking about it. I don't care when Carrie does it, but when it's my close friends, I feel like I've been betrayed.

'She knows all my trauma from this and yet she says that.'

I grabbed my head before letting a huff out in anger and saying "Whatever. I'll deal with this tomorrow." Dropping my phone on the ground, I made my way up the steps and got ready for bed.

♬♩♪♩♬♩♪♩♬♩👻 ♪♩♬♩♪♩♬♩♪♩

The next day I was at Julie's house early, since I live right next door to her. I heard singing coming from somewhere and followed it, only to come face to face with her moms studio. The doors were closed but I could still hear her beautiful voice flowing through the doors.

This put a smile on my face as I leaned back against the wall with my arms crossed "Well what do ya know?" I mumbled after a minute or two the song ended. I stood there for a few seconds waiting for her to walk out when suddenly three ghosts appeared in front of me.

The three of them looked to be about my age. The boy who's back was towards me had brunette hair, a tank top, a blue sweatshirt with no sleeves, showing off his muscles, and a pair of black pants with a chain hanging off it. The boy in the middle who was facing me (but somehow didn't notice me), had blond hair, a pink shirt with a logo for a cleaning service on it, a chain necklace around his neck, a fanny pack clipped together across his chest being worn as a satchel, and black nylon pants, the drawstrings tied together on his waist in a nice bow. The boy behind the two of them had dark brown hair, a white shirt sat underneath a black leather jacket, a long beaded necklace sat hanging from around his neck, a black and red flannel tide around his waist, along with a belt to hold up black jeans that were ripped at the knees.

"Oh, dude, why'd you stop me? Julie needs a hug."

The blond haired boy spoke as the brunette looked through one of the windows on the doors. The dark brown haired boy seemed to be the only one that noticed me as he sent me a bright smile and waved at me. I sent him a small smile back and waved, the boy widened his eyes, mouth agape as he pointed at me in shock.

His friends either didn't notice him or decided to ignore him "Bro, a ghost hug isn't the feel-good moment that you think it is. All right?" Fixing up his sweatshirt the brunette continued "Trust me. What Julie needs right now is just a bit of privacy." The boy with the dark brown hair soon stopped looking at me like I had two heads, but nonetheless still stared at me with a smile on his face.

I huffed a bit, feeling a blush coating my cheeks 'They are pretty cute for ghosts..' grabbing the only backpack strap sitting on one of my shoulders to support it, they continued talking.

"You know what? I think you poofed us out because you can't handle when other people cry. I should know. I cried in a room for 25 years" his voice started shaking, which caused me to look back over at them as the blond continued, throwing his hand down.

"And I didn't get a single hug from either of you."

The boy in the black leather jacket went to hug the boy in the pink shirt "All right. Bring it in." The blond stuck his hand up before the boy in the leather jacket could touch him. "Don't touch me!" He stated causing the boy with dark brown hair to back off.

"This is why no one hugs you."

He stated, causing my hand to fly up to my mouth to hold back my giggle in amusement. My eyes met with the boy clad in a black leather jacket, causing him to smile and send me a wink in response to my suppressed giggling. "Ok" The boy in the blue sweatshirt said his eyes darting between the two boys in front of him "So I-I-I think the first thing we should do, once we get the courage to go in there, is ask Julie..." he paused for a brief moment before continuing.

"Why she lied about playing the piano."

"Yeah, and you know, maybe tell her how amazing she is."

"Yeah of course bro."

"Ok."

The blond and brunette talked before the boy who has been the only one to notice me so far, spoke "She's legit. I got ghost bumps" pointing to his arm, I smiled and let out yet another giggle while shaking my head. "Of course she's amazing. I wish I could sing like her." The three ghosts attentions were now on me.

I stood leaned back against the wall with my arms crossed across my chest, a small smile tugging at my lips as I looked at the boys. Two out of three of the boys both looked behind them, as if to see if I was talking to someone else, while the same boy as before smiled and waved. I let out a small giggle and waved back at him, as the two other boys looked back at me confused.

"You can see us?"

The brunette asked as I nodded my head "Yeup" dragging out the 'e' a little longer than needed. "How long have you been there?" I was about to answer but the dark brown haired boy answered for me "She's been here the whole time." All while walking over and swinging an arm around my shoulders. "Reggie if you knew why didn't you tell us?" The brunette asked as the two boys in front of me stared at the boy with his arm around me.

The boy (Who I now know is Reggie) shrugged in response "You guys never asked, so I didn't think it was important." The blond rubbed his forehead in annoyance before speaking "If you see someone who can see us and is just standing there, don't you think the best bet would be to tell us?" Reggie looked in front of him as the realization of the situation finally hit him "Ohhh, Wait." He leaned forward a little, putting his hand next to his lips as if acting as a sound barrier.

He whispered "Is this because you were talking about yourself crying?" He sucked in a breath of air, leaning back while bringing his hand back down and shoving it in his jacket pocket. "That's embarrassing." Reggie stated, I chuckled and decided to move the conversation along before a argument broke out.

Moving out from underneath Reggie's arm I was quick to say "Okay. Before this conversation turns sour, I'm just going to answer all of your questions now." Pointing at the brunette I stated "No I'm not a ghost." Moving onto the blond "Yes I can touch you guys. It's weird, I know." I now faced Reggie as I stuck out my hand "The names (Y/n), and I'm guessing you're Reggie?" Reggie let out a shocked gasp as he grabbed my hand and shook it.

"Woah! No way! You're psychic too?!"

I let out a small chuckle at his response as the blond shook his head "No, genius. She put the pieces together when Luke said your name." The blond in the pink shirt threw his thumb over his shoulder to point to (who I now know is) Luke. Reggie nodded his head while saying a small "ohh." I looked between the three of them.

"Okay, so if you're Reggie."

I pointed to the boy in the leather jacket who sent me a wink and a smile "That's me!" I then pointed to the brunette "And you're Luke" He sent me a small smile with a shrug, as my attention was quick to land on the blond "Then who are you?" The boy stuck his hand out, sending me a smile while saying "Alex Mercer, you must be a friend of Julie's." I let out a small breath of air before responding.

"Uh. Yeah."

My sentence drifted off as I noticed Flynn walk through the gate, tears streaming down her face. Quickly taking my hand away from Alex I was quick to ask "Flynn? Flynn are you-" she walked past me, not even looking at me before opening the door and slamming it in my face. "-alright..?" I finished saying after the door shut. Letting out a sigh in frustration I heard Alex asked "Oh my gosh. Was she crying too?" I rolled my eyes and Luke turned around to look at Alex.

"Yes!"

We spoke at the same time looking at each other for a quick second in confusion, Luke turned back around to face the other two. He continued speaking "And the only thing scarier than one girl crying is two girls crying." Alex nodded while they both looked at Reggie "He's right." Reggie looked over at me "Why not just send (Y/n) in there?" The two other ghosts looked at me.

I was quick to shake my head "Oh, no way. I don't do feelings they are nasty and gross. I tend to keep my distance when this stuff happens." Luke rolled his eyes letting out a small groan in annoyance "Well we definitely can't go in there." I scoffed while crossing my arms a crossed my chest.

"Why? Because you can't handle other people crying?"

Alex and Reggie both snickered behind him for a few seconds before Luke turned around, sending them a glare. Luke looked back at me and was about to respond only for Reggie to shrug and say "We could always listen. But we wouldn't do that." Reggie laughed a little, only for the three of them to look between each other and race towards the door.

I laughed a bit to myself as they looked through the windows, only to duck down a couple of seconds later. "Okay, you guys have fun spying on my friends." Reggie looked over at me, a smile on his face "Aw, Come on. You know you wanna" I shook my head while saying "No, I'm not gonna ease drop on my-" Reggie sent me a look as if to say 'Really?' I let out an amused huff, before dropping my bag and walking over to him.

"Scoot over before I change my mind"

He happily moved closer to Luke so I had some room to sit. I heard Flynn talking on and on as Julie tried to explain. Only for Flynn to go on a whole rant about me and her not seeing Julie as often. When she was finally finished Julie explained to her that she played the piano and sang again and Flynn was ecstatic. The four of us heard them coming closer to the door, Reggie put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him so I don't get hit by one of their bags as the boys tried to act natural.

Flynn and Julie both walked out, Flynn was the first to acknowledge me as she spoke "Hey, (Y/n), I'm so sorry I ignored you, I just-" I cut her off with a shake of my head, sticking out my hand for her to stop. "It's okay, really. I'm not good when it comes to emotions anyway. I would've been no help at all." She sent me a smile and stuck her arms out for a hug. I stood up and went to hug her, Reggie taking his arm away as I stood up.

Giving her a quick hug Julie stated "Oh, (Y/n)! You're here!" She sent me a forced smile as I broke the hug with Flynn only to get pulled into another by Julie. "Please tell me, you see them too." She whispered as I let out a small chuckle and pulled away from her. Looking over at the guys I nodded my head, and she let out a relieved sigh.

"Listen about the text last night..."

I started saying as I went to grab my backpack Julie cut me off "Don't worry about it. I didn't mean to make you angry, it's just.... you know my situation right now." I nodded my head and let out an embarrassed chuckle as I grabbed my bag that was next to Alex, and swung it over my shoulder.

"Yeah, umm, no, I mean, last night I didn't mean to get angry. It was just the alcohol-"

Before I could finish my sentence Flynn hit the back of my head "Ow! What the-" Flynn cut me off as I sent her a glare "You've been drinking again?!" I took a deep breath in and out to compose myself  "Can we not talk about this right now?" I asked her, as I looked over at Julie, refusing to look at any of the guys. Looking back at Flynn she was angrily about to state something when Julie came over, seeming to have gotten the message.

"Flynn, come on. Let's just get in the truck."

"Yeah, and have a drunk drive me to school. Perfect."

I clenched and unclenched my fists as I glared back at her. Letting out an angry huff, I stated "Whatever. I'll be waiting in the truck." Marching off toward the gate I heard Reggie state "Don't worry! We weren't listening." This caused a small smile to make its way to my lips as I left through the gate.

Prev // Next

[animatedrapture]

"VORFREUDE."

Summary: Sakusa thinks of you as his vorfreude, his intense anticipation from imagining future pleasures. He swears it's not mere delusions.

Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x F!Reader / slight Komori Motoya x Reader

Word count: 4.5k

Genre & Content Warnings: Slight angst. NSFW. Dark content. Yandere behavior. Porn with Plot. Incel/Bully!Sakusa. Virgin!Reader. Abuse. Non-con. Blackmail. Coercion. Misogyny. Slut-shaming. Slight manipulation and mindbreak. Fingering. Corruption. Defloration. Degradation. Vaginal penetration. Creampie.

Notes: Thank you soooo much to the lovely anon who commissioned this! Took a lot longer than it should've cause academics kept cutting in & joint with my anxiety. But yeah, thank you so much :') Thank you Faiwy for the final beta !! <3

If you're thinking about commissioning me, please refer to this post.

You’re a constant, Sakusa thinks.

For as long as he can remember, you’ve been following him and Komori like a lost puppy—whenever they were, you were sure to be there. He can’t think far back enough to remember when it started, but you were insignia of constancy, that was all Sakusa knew.

He listens intently while you talk to Komori from beside him, voice low and stumbling over your words every so often—he knows you're going out of your way to avoid saying something he could use to pull you apart with, piece by piece like a frail little toy.

"How did the test from yesterday go?" Komori questions you, right as your trio made it to the cafeteria.

Your easy-going smile falters at the mention of it. Sakusa already knows the answer. He shares that class with you, after all. He had the front row seat to see your face flushed with humiliation and how rigid your body grew when the professor told you Sakusa would be tutoring you.

Reminding him that out of everything about you, the way you wore your heart on your sleeve is something that insistently rubbed him the wrong way.

First, because he starts thinking about how easy you make it for people to take advantage of you; it makes his blood boil. Then, he starts thinking about every reaction he could get out of you, like how you'd look from beneath him as he used your body the way you wanted him to.

Because you do, don't you? Why else would you go out of your way to adjust to his habits? To carry around your personal sanitizer and wipes, always making sure the space you were in with them was clean.

Nothing else could explain how you strung along with them like loose thread.

It tugs at the heart beneath his ribcage—but whenever he sees you give all your attention to Komori, the betrayal sinks in, and he's reminded what kind of a woman you are.

A whore.

As you laughed nervously, taking a seat across from them, Sakusa wonders if you're having fun, wonders if for a moment you're riddled with guilt as you flirt with his cousin and him at the same time, in the same breath.

"N-no, it didn't turn out very well," you admit in between stutters, embarrassment creeping back in.

Komori frowns empathetically, "I could help you, you know—"

The sparkle in your eyes is quick to appear. God, you're so cunning. It makes Sakusa consider that maybe you failed the test on purpose, thinking this would happen—but that would be giving you more credit than due. You're just a dumb little girl.

"I'm already tutoring them," Sakusa interrupts, and he's unsure whether to be delighted or angered at the way your face falls sullen.

"O-oh right, but—but I'd love to get your help, Motoya-kun—"

The scoff Sakusa lets out is loud, loud enough to make you wince. "You're dumb enough as it is, you don't need distractions," his words come slicing like knife. You sink in your seat.

Komori laughs awkwardly, giving you a smile—sheepish and apologetic—he's so kind, he's always so kind.

Sometimes you wonder how they're actually cousins; until you're reminded that Sakusa hadn't always been this mean to you. He had always been cautious, but he wasn't ever mean like he was out to get you at every ragged edge.

Somehow, though, the closer you got to him—past his defenses and indifference towards you—the meaner he's gotten.

You were like a moth to a flame, not in the sense that you were attracted to its light, but more so like being punished with burn after burn the closer you got.

But your feelings for Komori begged you at every instance to swallow the humiliation down, at each of Sakusa’s degrading remarks.

You take out your packed bento, wiping at the table with wipes before placing it down, the cousins moving to do the same out of adapted habit, until you notice Komori digging in his bag, eyebrows furrowed like he's confused.

"Motoya-kun? What's wrong?"

He turns to you, scratching at the back of his head, "I think I forgot my sanitizer."

You're quick on your hands, offering him yours without missing a beat and Sakusa's reminded of why he even likes you at all.

You were persistent with being able to stick around them. He thought that was remarkable. That you'd never been freaked out by his habits, you respected his space—something he couldn't say with the people who pushed and disregarded his boundaries. That instead of forcing him to adjust to you, you went out of your way for him to be comfortable with you around.

And he's flattered, really. He doesn't have to wonder if he had a chance with you because surely, he does.

Since he's so nice—nicer than a whore like you deserves, he'll let you know your feelings are reciprocated, then he'll fuck you, because surely, that's what you want… Right?

Then maybe, when you're finally his girlfriend, he can start training you to stop being such a flirty slut, that you belong only to him and that you’re nothing but his property.

But for now, he can settle with the warmth in his chest as he notices all the ways you try to get his attention.

Being with Sakusa is hard, even with Komori around, it was nerve wracking. Conversations with him weren't any easier, if anything, they were more dreadful.

When you ask Sakusa about tutoring you, you do it over lunch just so you avoid having to walk up to him alone. His answer is curt when he tells you to come over tomorrow, and that he’ll pick you up from your place; because you can try all you want to outsmart him, but he’d always catch on.

Because Sakusa was smart, and you were just you.

After lunch, you feel nothing but the dread bubbling in the pit of your stomach—churning and thrashing—because no matter how hard you try to push it down, the fact is that you’re actually scared of him.

Scared of the nitpicking he'll scrutinize you with—the way you sat, the way you looked at him, the way you trembled in his presence alone. You start thinking of what to wear, because even something as little as that can put him off—always commenting about how short your skirt is, how you're showing too much skin, how you're probably doing it on purpose.

But it's nothing you're not used to anymore.

So you tug on your fear, push it into a corner, and you tell yourself that Sakusa is mean, and condescending, and harsh, but he wouldn’t hurt you. You pick yourself up from the corner of your mind, and you repeat in your head like a mantra. Sakusa wouldn’t hurt you.

The ring of the bell breaks you out of your reverie. It reminds you that the day has almost ended, and that it felt like a blink faster than it should’ve been. Still, you pull on your things, gathering them to leave the classroom slowly emptying out.

You make a small sound of surprise when your eyes dart over to the door, where Komori stood, an anxious smile on his lips. He looks like he's been waiting for you, making your heart hammer against your chest like it wants to leap out.

Face-flushed and giddy, you walk towards him.

“Hey, Motoya-kun. What’s up?” You smile, all sweet and bright-eyed. From the pit of Komori’s stomach, something flutters. You only ever look like this when your eyes are on him; he thinks he wants to keep it to himself.

He brings a hand up to his hair, lightly scratching at the back of his head with a nervous smile, and it’s awkward in an adorable sort of way. He’s walking beside you along the corridor, it’s slow and the bit of silence between you is calm.

“Ah, well…” He starts, gaze flickering to the floor and back to you indecisively, “I was wondering if I could ask you to the newly opened café tomorrow. A-after you study with Sakusa-kun, of course,” He stutters a bit, offering you a boyish grin.

It so nearly pulls a squeak out of you, surprised in the most love struck sort of way. Your heart beats out of your chest unlike the way Sakusa makes you feel.

Your heart hammers out of fear of him—but with Komori, it's nothing but pleasant and warm and intoxicating.

Your smile is instantaneous; it comforts Komori as your lips part.

"I'd love to," you answer him softly, though an octave higher.

Sakusa finds you both like this, shyly smiling at each other like lovesick doves. There's nothing pure about you, you shouldn't be smiling that way. Especially not at the face of his cousin.

"Oi," he calls out, even through the face mask, his annoyance seeps into your skin and makes you feel small.

The blood that had rushed to your cheeks dries you pale at the glare he gives you.

"Coach is looking for you, Komori," he follows, yet never taking his eyes off of you.

"Right. I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N!"

Sakusa takes another step closer to you the moment Komori's out of sight. Your grip on your bag tightening, instinctively taking a step backwards.

The action alone makes him practically sneer with you cowering in response.

"Disgusting," he mutters, brimming with venom. "There's nothing I hate more than girls who throw themselves at any guy they see."

Maybe it's the sheer malice in his voice, or the way your eyes catch how his hand moves up—but you flinch, like expecting a hit to come across your cheek.

The pain never comes and when your eyelids flutter open, you're met with hard eyes the color of obsidian yet gleaming with a newfound resolve despite his furrowed eyebrows that suggested hitting you was far from the origin of his intentions.

Without a word, Sakusa walks away from you with his hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket.

You let your body slump against the wall. His eyes burn in the back of your head, almost like they’re warning you.

Right before you head to bed, your phone chimes once, then twice and it’s bittersweet. One from Komori, telling you he’s excited to see you tomorrow, and one from Sakusa—not beating around the bush, it says nothing but ‘9 AM.’

It’s firm and unyielding. Even as your head hits the pillow, forcing your eyes shut, sleep doesn’t come easy—not even at the thought of seeing Komori on a date.

It’s not the sunlight peeking in between your curtains that wake you, nor the sound of birds chirping outside your window. Instead, it’s the ache in your body acting like a bad omen. Nevertheless, you drag your body out of bed.

Your stomach churns but you get ready for the day.

You think the next hour couldn’t come any quicker, because you’re fidgeting on the balls of your feet and somehow, there’s goosebumps rising against your bare skin.

Your phone blinks back at you with a minute before nine o’clock but you already hear the knock on your door. Your breathing halts even as you move hurriedly to open it—and even when the air hits you as you find Sakusa on your doorstep.

You feel his eyes wander, from the very top of your head, down to your feet, and he mutters, “You look nice today.”

The blush that creeps on your cheeks is only natural. Compliments in any form that came from Sakusa were hard to come by—only because they were compliments in the most genuine, honest of ways.

Sakusa is mean, and if you were more honest with yourself, he’s a bully. But Sakusa, mean or not, is still Komori’s cousin; so you give him a smile, palms going clammy.

“Thank you, Sakusa-kun…” You trail off, hesitating on your next words, “You look nice today, too.”

And he does. The dark color of his clothes complimented his pale skin and dark, curly hair, and despite being covered by the mask, his pristine beauty seems to gleam through. Even seemingly unfazed, his gaze on you softens by a fraction.

As abrupt as it appeared, he’s already turning away, “Hurry up,” he quips, but his voice is softer because you look nice today were words that confessed his truest feelings—the ones that reminded him he’s so in love with you and that you’re the cause of warmth in chest.

Even when you strut around trying to get Komori to like you, Sakusa doesn’t attempt to deny the feelings he harbored, because you look nice today, too should mean something, shouldn’t it?

You know you’re dressed up for your date with Komori, but Sakusa doesn’t know that; so in that moment, he appreciates you. For once, there isn't one insult that lingers in his tongue or even in his head as he walks slowly.

Sakusa is nice today, you note as he keys the lock to his place. He had awkwardly placed his hand on the small of your back on the short walk it took from your place to his, guiding you along the sidewalk.

You've only been to his place once or twice, both times were with Komori, so you weren't familiar with the directions. The walk was silent, and in his silence, you found a reason to relax—just enough to make you think that this might go well.

Despite all awkwardness, Sakusa is forward. Seeing you sat on his couch so comfortably, the skirt of your dress riding up slightly, does nothing to hold back his urge to keep his hands on you.

It's a good thing he doesn't have to keep his hands to himself now, right? Since you like him so much, you'd let him fuck you now… Right?

Sakusa's movements are sly, that's why you don't question how he walks closer towards you, sitting so, so close to you—that's why you choke on the lump in your throat when his hand shoots out to grab you by the wrist, pulls you in, then presses his lips on yours.

The second that passes is only because you couldn't wrap your head around Sakusa—lips pressed against yours and body so close.

But the next second, you're pushing him off roughly enough to stop him and he's looking at you confused.

"Sakusa-kun, I think you misunderstood—I like, I like Motoya-kun, I didn't mean to—this is—" you're trampling over your words, looking at him with panicked eyes.

Sakusa mutes out the sound of your voice, all he can hear is the beating in his chest and the ache of it—the sound of his heart dropping to his stomach. He should’ve known.

All the softness in his eyes are gone. His hand, still wrapped around your wrist, gripping tighter and tighter; your heart skipping obnoxiously against your chest. Something about the way he's looking at you now petrifies you.

His silence feels deadlier than his destructive words, deadlier when you wince at his grip, whimpering, "Sakusa, you're hurting me—please," and still, he doesn't let up.

Not when he's roughly tugging you from the couch, taking your arm with a bruising grip, then he's hauling you somewhere. You thrash, panicked pleas calling out to him and apologies he doesn't deserve but you offer him anyway. All your protests are rewarded when he halts, turning to you without a hint of remorse, pushing you to the floor—his foot comes to your side, kicking you with a force that knocks the breath out of your lungs.

Bile is rising up your throat, coughing and arms shooting to your stomach to protect yourself. Scared feels too small of a word to describe the feeling that looms over you as he takes your arm again, dragging your curled up body.

Sakusa shoves you inside a room, even as you flail around and beg for help, his face remains impassive; whatever force you’re putting in the way you try to break free from his hold is futile. Of course he’s stronger. Of course, but you can’t possibly accept this, can you?

You made Sakusa yearn—disgustingly grapple on his feelings so needlessly, and nothing, he thinks, could be more unforgivable.

So he secures you on the bed, bound and within his claws, for you to take responsibility for the yearning you've planted inside of him.

"S-Sakusa, please," your begging sounds like a whimper. "I-I won't tell anyone! N-not even Motoya-ku—!"

You hear ringing in your ears before feeling the sting across your cheek. From inside your mouth, you can taste metal.

"You won't tell anyone either way," he mutters apathetically, like the idea of you telling anyone isn't a threat, "No one would believe you…"

He pauses, gaze on you hardening for a second, "You don't want Komori finding out you only got close to him because you wanted me, right?"

The sound of disbelief that escapes you is small, even the wide-eyed betrayal that flashes in your eyes does nothing to make him even pity you.

"You–I, I didn't—"

At your stuttering, Sakusa clicks his tongue, "You're such a dumb girl you don't even know what you want."

"That's not true, Sakusa—"

He glares down on you. The bed dips, bracketing your body between his knees, hovering over you, then leaning forward. His hands move slowly as if caressing you before grabbing your hair with a stinging tug.

The fear pooling your eyes only makes him even angrier.

"I hate that face," he grits out, "Always looking at me all scared, then you look at Komori like a shy innocent bitch, it pisses me off."

Pretty as you are, he lands another hit across your cheek—hard enough that you can feel a cut on your cheek trickling down with blood, the side of your ear going deaf. You’re not sure anymore if it was a slap or a punch—all that you know is that it hurts. Your vision is blurred when you open your eyes, but even through them, the insanely expressionless eyes of Sakusa are clear.

It dawns on Sakusa that you wouldn’t date him. Of course you wouldn’t. Sluts like you go for guys like Komori—so he’d just have to take you by force, make you date him by force, make you love him by force.

Besides, you look prettier forced, he observes. Your face tear-stained and bloody makes his cock throb in his pants. With your body weak underneath him, so helpless that it disgusts him and fuels him with desire all at once.

Something about your weakness, the innocence that spills from you contradicting his firm idea that you’re a dirty whore makes him livid. He pictures you painted with bruises and cuts, the image sending a shiver down his spine. Clenched fists pull back, only to land on your sides, on the same places he kicked you.

What makes you feel sick at the stomach more than the abuse he inflicts on you is the way Sakusa’s movements lack hesitation as his hands travel to your bare thighs.

"W-what are you doing?”

It's disgusting. Women like you are disgusting. You lead him on just so you can take advantage of his feelings like this—that even if he knew better, he'd still soften up for you.

It's you who lured him into this, he almost sneers at the thought. You were truly vile, and yet he loves you all the same—wants you all to himself all the same.

"Omi?' You breathe, frightened. The nickname falls affectionately, though, putting all your hope into it, wishing it would tug on his heart enough for him to let you go.

“Let’s talk about this, Omi? Please?” You cry, searching for his eyes—the ones trained on your thighs as he glides his hands against them, your dress bunched up to your hips revealing your baby pink panties. Your sobs only grow louder as he goes further up, going on as if he’s in a trance where he can’t hear you groveling at him to stop.

Strong, calloused hands stop at the band of your panties, fingers hooking, and only then does he look back up at you. Dark eyes drown you as he tugs them down torturously slow, exposing you to him in your most vulnerable state.

The same second you attempt to force your legs shut, comes a biting pain on the inside of your thighs, instantly blooming his handprint at the force. Your mouth opens to wail at the pain, but it’s the same wail that Sakusa swallows as he brings his lips to yours with a kiss so treacherously passionate.

Sakusa pulls away quickly though, eyeing your bare cunt, he brings his fingers to your slit, experimentally rubbing up and down and your response is immediate, somehow. Your slick gathers on his fingers, body squirming from beneath him.

“K-Kiyoomi, it feels weird—stop, please,” yet your hips buck into his fingers as he prods at your tight hole, “Don’t—Not there—N-no one has touched—”

He lifts an eyebrow, “You’re a virgin?” His question sounding more of a comment, because the hesitant nod you give him is almost needless when you hiss at the intrusion of his digit pushing inside of you; your walls clamping down on it, body tensing, he brings a thumb to your clit, circling with enough pressure to make it feel good.

And it’s wrong. So wrong, but it feels good because you’re moaning against your will, whimpering at the curl of his finger and at the additional finger he’s slowly sinking into you.

The stretch is uncomfortable and foreign. Nothing is in Sakusa’s mind but at the thought of you absolutely untouched, absolutely all for him to ruin. Your body instinctively leaning to his, submitting to his ministrations—fingers scissoring and pushing in and out of your pussy, the sound of your slick echoing in your ears as if to taunt you, but your legs are trembling, your gasps are broken and there’s a pressure in your pelvis about to snap.

“You’re so filthy,” he mutters, but he looks at you like you’re the farthest thing from filthy, and his comment is exactly what makes you break, eyes rolling to the back of your skull and cunt creaming around his fingers pathetically.

You feel so dirty, especially at the sound of your slick as he pulls his fingers out and shoves them inside your mouth—the taste of you tainting your tongue. Shaking your head profusely, you beg him with your eyes, “No more—please, I don’t want this.” you weep, muffled.

“Suck,” he commands, but your defiance is clear before you even shake your head, so he pushes his fingers down further, choking you until you gag and find it hard to breathe.

“Suck,” he repeats, and you relent.

Watching you suck messily on his fingers, drool and tears disheveling you, dried blood sticking to your skin, he frees his twitching cock out of its constraints.

Though hazy, your eyes catch it, the thickness of his cock—hard and flushed at the tip—your hands tugging at your restraints feebly making you panic and choke on his fingers, nearly biting down on them.

He’s quick to pull them out, glaring down at you with dark eyes, jaw ticking as his hands curl into fists; knowing what’s to come doesn’t prepare you any more at the excruciating pain of his abuse, even more so at his length pressing against your wet folds—cockhead nudging your puffy clit and making your cunt drool on him.

Both hands dig into the flesh of your thighs, pressing them to your chest. The pain on your face numbs at the sensation of him prodding on your entrance, ripping you apart and increasing the pain—your head throbs as he stretches your cunt with his fat cock, barely giving you time to adjust as he starts to move slowly despite your tense walls barely allowing him.

He curses as he ruts into you, bathing in your cries and moans, violating and invading the entirety of you. The pleasure of feeling you and having you just like this seeps into his bones, turning his languid thrusts more desperate.

“You make desperation look so pretty,” he groans, “You’re making such a mess, you like being forced like this?”

He insults you, but you’re everything he always wanted and more—the taste of your skin as he sucks marks onto your neck as if you were his to own, the clenching and humiliating sound of your cunt squelching as he pounds into you and grunts against your skin. His cock throbs inside you and drags along your velvety walls deliciously; all you can think is that you hate this.

Pressure, pain, the drowning pleasure of Sakusa all over you and inside you don’t allow you to retreat to the back of your head and forget. Not with the burning euphoria building up in your stomach or the moan that slips from your lips as Sakusa brings one of your legs down, bringing his hand to your breasts and thumb swiping around your sensitive nipples.

“O-Omi, please,” you sob, weak and submissive—just how you should be. Your nails dig into your palms, arms aching from your restraints. “I-I’m gonna—I think I—”

“Y-you really are a whore,” he spits, voice strained yet patronizing, still. “Do it, then. Cum on my cock.”

His hand moves in between your thighs, fingers pressing and rubbing circles on your clit as you cry out, tight walls clamping down on him and stuttering his already sloppy thrusts, your arousal running down his length and down to his heavy balls slapping against your ass.

Your moans come out as squeals of his name, your back arching and breath catching in your throat, vision going white as he continues to fuck into you.

His breathing is ragged, moving to bury his face into the crook of your neck in an odd show of affection, your swollen cunt pulsating around his cock as he suddenly stills, his low groan vibrating against your skin as he empties inside you.

You want to cry—but nothing comes out, all you can feel is the bruises on your skin, Sakusa’s cock buried deep inside you and his cum leaking from your abused hole, the stickiness and the sweat.

Maybe Sakusa’s right. Maybe you are disgusting, because as he peels himself from you, thinking it’s all over—Sakusa doesn’t undo the ties keeping you on the bed.

He reaches towards the bedside table, grabbing his phone. The sound of the shutter going off once, twice, over and over with the camera directed at you pulls your soul out of you.

“Omi—?” Your question remains a lump in your throat, but Sakusa is smart. He doesn’t need to hear your question.

“You’re my girlfriend now…” He mutters carelessly, “but I’m sure you don’t want Komori to see how you like to be fucked, right?”

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ Wooyoung- School President (Oneshot)

Genre: light angst, suggestive/steamy, high school au.

Pairing: SchoolPresident!Wooyoung x badgirl!reader

Warnings: none.

"Miss L/N, detention after school till 4 p.m." your chemistry teacher said, making you mentally groan. It was the last class of the day and you were dying to go home, but now you had to stay for an extra hour. All your classmates turned to look at you, but they weren't surprised. "You still haven't submitted the assignment."

"Can I just submit it tomorrow?" you asked in a bored tone.

"No, you were supposed to submit it a week ago," she said, gathering her stuff to leave the class. "Detention with Mrs. Hwang today." You heard people around you snicker. Well, fuck. Mrs. Hwang was the strictest teacher in school. Even you were scared of her despite your badass attitude.

You got up from your seat, leaving the classroom with an annoyed expression on your face.

"Detention again, Y/N?" your bestfriend asked as she made her way to you with your other friends.

You rolled your eyes. "Ms. Jang will never fucking let me live in peace. I'll see you guys tomorrow," you said, making your way to detention.

You were surprised to find the room empty. Usually, there would always be about three or five students. Since no one was here, you decided to ditch; you would skip school the next day so that your teachers will forget about it. You turned around to leave, but ended up bumping into someone, slightly startling yourself.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at your school president and heartthrob—also called 'senior's eye candy' at your school—Jung Wooyoung.

You had to admit, he was certainly the most handsome guy you've ever seen. Jung Wooyoung was absolutely perfect. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him. You were sure half your school tried to hit on him despite the fact that he has a girlfriend.

"Unfortunately, I'm here to make sure that you won't escape detention as Mrs. Hwang is busy, so take a seat," he said, moving around you to sit on a chair and taking a notebook out of his bag.

You always found Jung Wooyoung very interesting. Other guys like him—the nerdy ones—can't even talk to you, let alone look you in the eye. Jung Wooyoung was the complete opposite.

You sat on one of the chairs, immediately taking your phone out.

"You can't use your phone here," Wooyoung said, not looking up at you from his notebook. "Why don't you complete your assignment?"

You scoffed. "And if I don't? What are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing," he said, looking at you. "It's not affecting me in any way, so I don't care. However, Ms. Jang is gonna fail you again if you don't submit your assignment."

You knew he was right. And that annoyed you; you really just wanted to shut his pretty mouth up.

"Whatever," you mumbled, taking out a notebook and the assignment sheet to start working on the reactions you had to write.

However, you were completely blank. You didn't know or understand a word given on the sheet. You bit your lip as you stared at the sheet, wondering what to do.

Finally, you took out your phone and googled all the reactions, easily finishing the assignment in less than half an hour.

"You know, you won't be able to copy during finals," Wooyoung said, closing his notebook. "Even if you're copying now, at least learn what you've copied."

"I didn't ask for your comments," you retort. He was about to say something, but his phone rang.

"Hey, baby," he answered. " . . . I'm in charge of detention today . . . Oh, that's okay," his face fell slightly. " . . . No, it's alright. We can go some other day . . . Hmm, I love you too. Bye!"

You snorted, feeling bad for the boy. You were surprised someone as smart as him hasn't figured out that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. You've seen his girlfriend shoving her tongue down random people in the club, and hitting on people at your school. You remembered how shocked you were when you first found out that she was cheating on him; because why would anyone cheat on someone as perfect as Jung Wooyoung?

"You can leave now," Wooyoung said, getting up from his seat. "Detention is over." You nodded, leaving as fast as you can, just wanting to go home and sleep.

"Your grades aren't very bad, but they aren't great either, Y/N," your class teacher said. "You'll get into an average college with these grades. But I know you can do much better. So I've asked one of the prefects to tutor you in Chemistry and Physics."

You groaned. "Can I do it by myself?"

"You wouldn't do it by yourself," she said. "Anyway, Jung Wooyoung will be tutoring you. Discuss and decide your timings with him. I expect you to score well on the next exam. I do not want to see you fail in any subject again." Before you could say anything, the door to the staff room opened, revealing none other than Jung Wooyoung. "Ah, Wooyoung, I just told Y/N that you will be tutoring her," she said. "I'm expecting you to do a great job."

Wooyoung smiled. "I won't let you down, Mrs. Park. But Y/N must put in efforts or else there's no point," he stated in a polite tone, and you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, that's true," she turned to look at you. "I'm expecting nothing but your best efforts, Y/N." She's always expecting something, huh, you thought. You only smiled, bowing politely.

"I'll do my best."

-

"What the actual fuck is this?" you mumbled, staring at the lengthy derivation written in Wooyoung's notebook. He rolled his eyes, so tired of hearing you say that to literally everything you saw written in his notebook.

"Ah, why did they have to make me tutor you of all people?" he whined. "You clearly haven't paid attention in class for even half a second."

"No one told you to accept it," you said, ignoring his last comment.

"I had to," he scoffed, stretching his arms out, making you glance at the veins on his arms. "Extra credits, you know?"

"Nerd," you muttered under your breath. He heard you, but didn't say anything. He began teaching you how to derive it; you paid attention for the first few seconds before zoning out. When you zoned back in, he asked you to explain what he just explained. You bit your lip, thinking of what to say.

He sighed. "You didn't pay attention again."

"I zoned out, sorry."

"That's what you said for the previous derivation," he said, a disappointed look on his face while he packed up his things.

"You're leaving already?" you asked, glancing at the time on your phone; you still had twenty minutes left.

"I'm not going to waste my time teaching you right now," he said. "You clearly aren't in the mood to focus." You only scoffed, watching him leave the library. You bit your lip, feeling kinda bad for not paying attention when he was making an effort to teach you.

The look of disappointment he showed you had somehow made you determined to prove that you could focus and do better.

You were at Wooyoung's house, sitting on his bed and scrolling through your social media while waiting for him to finish changing out of his uniform. You spent an entire two weeks studying your ass off, and you were proud you made a big improvement, thanks to Wooyoung. He was quite surprised that you were actually making an effort to understand whatever he taught you. You both even became friends, and you were quite happy about that.

"I'm done," he said, coming out of his bathroom, making you look up from your phone. You held your breath at the sight of Wooyoung dressed in grey sweatpants and a black tank top. You couldn't stop yourself from checking him out: the veins running down his muscled arms, his exposed collarbones, his sharp jawline, his plump lips . . .

You were so immersed into checking him out, you didn't realize he was doing the same to you. He loved how your uniform skirt rid up your thighs, and how another two buttons on your shirt were unbuttoned, exposing a little bit of your cleavage. Before you knew it, he was slowly making his way towards you, eyes now locked with yours.

"Let's start, hmm?" he said with a smirk; he knew you were checking him out.

You clear your throat a little. "Yeah, let's start."

You spent the next half an hour trying to pay attention to whatever Wooyoung was teaching you. It didn't help that he absentmindedly placed his hand on your knee, or brushed your hand with his; he knew exactly what he was doing to you. Your mind kept wandering to the things you want him to do to you right now on his bed.

" . . . and now you should tell me," he leaned a little close to you with a smirk, making your heartbeat speed up. "Which formula should be used?"

"Fuck this," you muttered, pushing the books aside before straddling Wooyoung's lap.

"Took you long enough," he chuckled, and you crashed your lips on his. He instantly kissed you back, hands moving to grip your waist. You wouldn't admit it to anyone, but you have been dreaming about kissing Wooyoung the second he talked back to you a year ago.

You pulled away to litter his neck in kisses, sucking the skin gently. He groaned softly, making you smirk. "Fan of neck kisses?"

"You have no idea," he said, hands moving underneath your skirt to grip your bare inner thighs. He gave it a squeeze, making you involuntarily grind down on him. He moaned at the feeling, encouraging you to do it again. You moved your lips back to his, grinding on him even more. Wooyoung's hands slipped into your panties, grabbing your ass to help you grind down on him faster. The friction made you moan, craving for more. You tugged on his shirt, breaking the kiss to let him pull it off. You ran your hand down his toned torso in awe, loving the feeling of his abs beneath your fingertips. Your eyes widened at the tattoo above his hip bone. "You have a tattoo?!"

Wooyoung gripped your hips, moving you off of him so that he could hover over you. "Mhmm, bet you never expected the nerdy school president to have a tattoo, huh?" Your hands moved to his hair, playing it with while he began to kiss your neck, driving you crazy.

Wooyoung kissed down your chest till where your shirt was unbuttoned. He glanced up at you, fingers toying with the buttons. "Can I?" he asked. You nodded, letting him unbutton your shirt and slip it off you. You sucked in a breath when he ran his fingers over the lacy material of your bra.

"Take it off," you whined, making him chuckle.

"Patience, baby," he said, one hand gently rubbing your thigh.

But you really didn't have any patience right now.

You brought his lips to yours while you moved his hand to touch you where you desperately needed him, surprising him a little. He kissed you back hungrily while his finger moved on your clothed clit, applying pressure, making you get wetter. Your moans made him smirk; he loved how he was the reason behind it.

You both got startled at the sudden sound of his garage opening. He halted his movements, pulling away from you instantly.

"One of my parents is back from work," he said, quickly putting on his tank top and handing you your uniform shirt. You quickly buttoned it and straightened out your hair; you really did not want Wooyoung's strict parents to suspect anything since they already did not like the idea of him tutoring you in his final year of high school.

Wooyoung's father knocked on his bedroom door before opening it, finding you and Wooyoung busy writing equations.

"Oh, hey, dad! How was work?" Wooyoung asked with a sweet, innocent smile like as if he wasn't smirking a few minutes ago while touching you.

"Hello, Mr. Jung," you said politely.

"Hello, Y/N," he said. "Work was all right, as usual. How is your tutoring session going?"

"Good, dad," Wooyoung said, trying to control himself from smirking. "It's going really great."

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

invisible strings

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

Word count: 3401

[ a/n: thank you so much for all the love and support. We’re almost done with this series! If I forgot to tag you please let me know! Also the ending is a bit lackluster but decided to save the best one for something special for the last chapter]

Age: 21

Year: June/July 2015

Location: CA & NY

"Thank-you all for coming and christening our new place," Thor thanks everyone, as he and Loki stood up at the dining table in their lit up backyard.

"Now there's one person I want to thank, my love," Thor said, reaching his hand out to Wanda who was sat to his left, Loki took his seat back down, "My love, I just want to thank-you for being by my side these last two years. I have never been as happy as I am with anyone else. Now I'm not very good with my words, but what I do know is how I feel about you. The love I have for you exceeds anything else."

"So, I just need to ask you this one question," he says, bending down on one knee, holding Wanda's left hand, while holding the ring box in the other, "Will you, Wanda Maximoff marry me?

"Yes," she cried out, throwing her arms around Thor's neck.

Everyone got up to cheer the newly engaged couple.

Steve and Elizabeth laid naked in her bed, comfortably in each other's presence after the night's activities.

"I can't believe Wanda and Thor are engaged," Elizabeth said, as Steve rubbed her arm as she laid on his chest.

"He's been talking about it for the last year," Steve tells her, "Said he didn't want to scare her off."

"Guess I'm going to have to find a new roommate," she jokes.

"Well actually, I was thinking."

"You better not be proposing to me post sex, while we're naked in bed," Elizabeth playfully jabbed his chest, looking up at him from his chest.

"No, no," Steve lets out a hearty laugh, "Not yet. We still have time for that."

"I was actually thinking, why don't we get a place together. After graduation," Steve suggests.

"What about your job?"

"I can commute," he says, "I'll be done with school in May. You still have law school after graduation, and I have no doubt Stanford is going to accept you into their law program, so you don't have to move."

"What if I don't get accepted?"

"I highly doubt you won't, but if you don't, I'm sure Columbia will snatch you up. And I'd follow you, wherever you go."

"Really?" Elizabeth asked, surprised he would even say that.

"Yeah. There's a lot of architect firms out there, and I'm sure my boss will give me a nice recommendation."

"I couldn't ask that of you Steve," Elizabeth said, getting off of his chest to sit up, grabbing the blanket to cover her chest.

"Which is why I'm offering. I want to do that Liz. This right here," he sits up, and gestures to the both, "This is all I want. So please, if it comes time for that, just let me."

"Okay. Promise you won't resent me?" She asks, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

"Never," he seriously says, pulling her in for a kiss, and back into his arms.

As they laid in bed, Steve notices Liz is lost in her thoughts.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"Us, and everything that's lead us to this moment. Like there were some invisible strings leading me to you," she tells him.

"Yeah, you're correct," he ponders.

"Like everything that's happened, happened for a reason. We weren't supposed to be with each other then otherwise we probably wouldn't have made it out of high school."

"You don't think?" Steve asked.

"No, because we wouldn't have been the people we are now. Let's be real here Steve, you and I are not Bucky or Peggy. We're dreamers. Full on happy ending believing people who happened to be with realists at the time. We would've been so naive about the world outside of Brooklyn," Elizabeth says.

"We had never truly experienced pain in the way that we did. If we didn't go through senior year the way that we did, we wouldn't be here. Not specifically together or in California. But we would be stuck in a life where we forced ourselves to be happy. Where we didn't have room to grow. Room to experience a different way of life. We would've been who we were as 16 year olds. And don't get me wrong but that's no way to be."

"I'm glad this happened when it did," she says tilting her head to look at Steve's face.

"Me too," he smiled kissing the top of her head.

"Wow, my arm is so tired from lugging this ring around," Wanda announces walking into Elizabeth's room where she was packing things into a suitcase.

"Must be so exhausting," Liz teases as Wanda takes a seat on her bed.

"Incredibly," Wanda smiled, "How's the packing going?"

"Good, I have everything I'll need for the next two weeks," Liz tells her, "You guys are flying in two days before Steve's birthday right?"

"Yup! Thor seems to be more excited about Steve turning 21 than he is," Wanda laughs, "Next up will be you next month. Vegas won't be ready for us."

"Thor really is going out for all of our 21st birthdays, is he."

"He's excited we're all legally allowed to drink," Wanda says.

"So," Wanda shifted in her seat, "Are you guys going to the baby shower?"

"Yeah we are," Liz nodded her head, "Things have been better, and Steve really wants to be there for Bucky, and so do I."

"How are you feeling about it all?"

"Honestly, if Bucky is happy then so am I."

"It doesn't bother you even the slightest that he's having a baby with the woman he cheated on you with?"

"No," Liz shakes her head, "We've both moved on and grew from our situation. I'm happy with Steve, truly 100% happy. I know in my heart that Steve is the one."

"Whoa, wait, back that up," Wanda immediately shot up from her spot on the bed, "He's the one?"

"Yeah," Liz bascule smiles, her cheeks turning a slight pink.

"I mean, I knew that you loved him, but I don't think you've ever said out loud that he was the one."

Elizabeth shrugs her shoulders trying to fight off the huge grin that wants to spread across her face, "Well he is."

"Wow, umm this is great news," Wanda says looking around the room.

"What's wrong?" Liz asks taking in Wanda's sudden mood change.

"I just," Wanda coughed, trying to fight back the ball in her throat, her eyes tearing up, "I'm so happy for you. God this ring is making me incredibly emotional."

"Aw Wands," Elizabeth pulled her into a hug.

"You just deserve to be with someone who truly thinks the world of you and would move those worlds for you," Wanda cries in Liz's shoulder, "I just remember you telling me all about the shit you went through with Bucky in high school, and then the crap he put you through freshman year. You were just so over the idea of love. Even with steve you were so cautious, so just to hear you say that he's the one. I'm just so incredibly happy."

Elizabeth hugged Wanda tightly, tears streaming down her face. It meant the world to her to hear Wanda say those things. She felts so incredibly lucky to have a friends like her in her life.

"I better be your maid of honor," Wanda teased pulling away and wiping her tears, "Because you already know you're mine."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"We still need to get a baby shower gift for tomorrow," Elizabeth told Steve as they lounged around his childhood bedroom. Steve was sat at his desk sketching, while Elizabeth laid in his bed reading a book.

"I can do that if you want," Steve offered, not wanting to make Elizabeth uncomfortable no matter how many times she's told him she was fine.

"Somehow I don't think I can trust you getting the correct gift," Elizabeth teased.

"Babies like legos right?" He teased back, getting up to join her on the bed, laying his head down on her stomach.

"We can go together, I still need to get a few things for the party next weekend," she said playing with his hair.

Steve hummed in response, feeling himself getting tired, "A quick little nap and we'll go."

"Sounds good," she smiled at the man snuggled up on her.

The next day the couple were walking into the Barnes' backyard, hand-in-hand with a gift bag.

They were both instantly greeted by Bucky's mother Winnie.

"Oh you two made it!" She enthusiastically greeted them, pulling them both into a hug.

"Of course. We wouldn't have missed it," Steve smiled at her.

"Thank-you," she turned to Liz and grabbed her hand, "both of you. James really appreciates it. We all do. Especially with everything that has happened, he's going to need his best friends."

"You don't have to thank us," Liz says, "We'll always be there for Bucky. No matter what happens."

"Well thank-you," she smiles, and then turns to Steve, "Steve the men have been sent inside, so you can see your way inside."

"Already getting pushed aside," he jokes.

He placed a kiss on Elizabeth's cheek, "I'll be inside if you need me."

She nodded her head, then glanced around the yard and caught eye contact with an old high school classmate, Natasha's friend, rolling her eyes at the couple.

She cleared her throat, "Where do the gifts go?"

"Over at that table where Rebecca is at," Winnie smiled, and pointed to the table to the right where Rebecca was organizing all the gifts. Liz thanked her and made her way over.

Liz couldn't help but start to feel a bit uncomfortable. She hadn't planned for she and Steve to be separated for the entire party. She didn't really know anyone here, aside from Bucky's family, where things were still a bit awkward after last summer.

Even though things were good between Steve, Bucky, and her, it was still awkward. She and Natasha don't have the best history, they still haven't talked everything out, clear the air. Not that Nat owed Elizabeth a conversation, she just thought that now that things were okay, maybe them two can work on their relationship, for the sake of Bucky. But whenever Liz tried to reach out Nat would just say that she was busy, so she didn't push it. Not with Natasha being pregnant, plus she figured now that she was in town for two weeks that maybe they could get together for a quick chat.

"Hey Liz," Rebecca greeted her, a sigh of relief to see a friendly face.

"Hey Bec," she smiled, hugging the teen.

"God, I'm so glad to see you," Rebecca said pulling back from the hug, "Some of these girls are real bitches."

Liz was taken back for a second hearing Rebecca swear, it's sometimes hard to believe that tiny little toddler is now this young lady about to enter her senior year of high school.

"I'm sure they're not so bad," Liz said trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

"Really? Because they're looking at you like you just murdered their entire family," Rebecca said.

Elizabeth turned around to see Natasha's friends huddled in a semi-circle around Natasha, all whispering and glaring at her. She turned back around to Rebecca and gave her a force smile.

Rebecca felt bad at bringing that to Liz's attention. Liz was always so nice to her, and even continues to keep in contact with her especially when Rebecca needs any help or advice.

"I can take that," she said trying to change the subject.

"Thank-you," she quietly said, handing over the gift bag to Rebecca.

"They're just jealous," Rebecca tells her, "Even with having my brother's child, Natasha still can't find it in her cold hearted heart to be nice to you."

"She doesn't owe me anything."

"Now that's not true. She owes you a lot, and the least she can do is be nice, especially with my mother throwing her this baby shower and allowing her to live with us until she and Bucky find a place."

"She's living here?" Elizabeth asked, surprised to hear that. Bucky never mentioned Nat living with them, they did know that they were looking at places closer to his job and school.

"Yeah, she moved in probably two months ago, when she really started to show," Rebecca tells her, "Apparently she hadn't told her dad, and once she started showing she had to confess. He kicked her out. Said she was ruining her life."

"That's intense," Elizabeth said.

"Yup. So my mom and Keith are letting her stay until they find a place of their own," Rebecca says, "And as much as I love my brother I can't wait til she's gone. He's an idiot for knocking her up."

"She can't be that bad," Liz said trying to give Nat the benefit of the doubt.

"Trust me Liz, she is. Being pregnant has made her a complete devil," Rebecca stresses, "My mom is way too nice to have that be the mother of her first grandchild."

Before Liz could respond to that, someone came up behind her.

"Oh Becky, I wanted the gifts to be color coordinated," Natasha remarked, with her hand on her belly.

"My mom told me to do it by size," Rebecca rolled her eyes, "And my name's Rebecca."

"But Becky is so cute."

"No it's not," Rebecca argued.

"Hi Natasha," Elizabeth awkwardly greeted, breaking up the conversation.

"Oh hi Elizabeth," Natasha stiffly said, forcing a smile on her face as she rubs her belly, "Didn't think you would show up."

"Oh, well Steve told Bucky we were coming," she explains.

"Of course he did."

"You look pretty," Elizabeth complimented her to try and break the tension.

"I know. I'm absolutely glowing carrying Bucky's child," she replied with a snarky tone.

"I'm really happy for you both."

"Sure you are," she rolled her eyes.

"No, I truly am. That's why I actually wanted to talk to you about. I was wondering if maybe we can get together sometime this next week, to talk," Liz suggests.

"There's no need," Nat tells her, "I get what you're doing. You think that getting on my good graces will put you in Bucky's good graces, but I hate to break it to you, that's not going to happen. I'm trying my best here to be polite to you, but once this baby is born, I'll make sure Bucky no longer makes time for you and Steve. I am his life now, and we don't have space in it for you both."

"Nat-"

"Thanks for the gift, hopefully the gift receipt is in the bag," Natasha fake smiled, "Enjoy the party."

"Fix the gifts Becky," she turned to Rebecca enunciating 'Becky', before walking away to go back to her friends.

"Told you she was the devil," Rebecca commented, ignoring Natasha's request.

"Yeah, you weren't lying," Elizabeth turned to look at Nat who was laughing with her friends.

Steve and Elizabeth said their final goodbyes a couple of hours later, and walked back to their rental car.

"That went well, don't you think?" Steve commented on as he started the car.

"Yeah it did," she lied.

Elizabeth decided it was probably best not to bring it up to Steve. He and Bucky just fixed their relationship, that she was afraid if she told Steve that Bucky wouldn't believe them. She would just have to hope that Bucky wouldn't allow their friendship to take another hit. She had faith that their friendship was stronger than that.

"Do you mind if we made a stop somewhere?" Steve asks her as he pulls away from the curb.

"No, of course not."

"Perfect. We just have to make one quick pit stop before," he says a few minutes later, parking in a parking lot of a cafe.

Steve walked back out of the cafe with a picnic basket.

"What's that for?" She asked smiling as he got in, putting the basket in the backseat.

"Just wait and see," he winked.

15 minutes later they were pulling up to a park.

"A park?"

"Thought we could have an impromptu picnic date," he smiles, "Wait here."

He got out of the car and grabbed the basket from the backseat. She heard him close and open the trunk. He then opened her door.

"Mi lady," he held his hand open for her to take.

"Oh why thank-you kind sir," she giggled taking his hand.

He led her to a nice spot on top of a hill, overlooking the park.

"Can you hold this for me real quick," he asked, holding out the picnic basket for her.

She took it from him as he laid out the blanket. Steve took the basket back and started to unpack the contents and laid them out on the blanket for them.

"A little dinner at sunset," he offered his hand so she can sit down next to him on the blanket.

"This was perfect Steve," she kissed his cheek, as they finished off their little dinner.

"Just thought I'd thank-you for coming with me today," he says wrapping his arm around her, as she leaned into him.

"You don't have to thank me."

"I know I don't, but I want to. I know you say you were fine with today, and I completely believe you, but I also know that even if you're okay with it, it's still can be uncomfortable," he says, "So I just want to show you how appreciative I am of you."

"I love you," she leans her head up to capture his lips with her's.

Age: 27

Year: 2021

Location: Brooklyn, NY

"Steve whats with the blind fold," Elizabeth giggled in the passenger seat of their rental car.

"It's a surprise," he laughed, "Now just be patient, we're almost there."

"Steve, come on you know I hate surprises."

"You liked the last surprise I gave you," he teased.

"It was a kitten, that's different," she smiled.

"You still loved it," he said, "Plus we're here already."

"Oh that was quick," she said reaching to take her blindfold off.

"Don't," he warned her, "Not yet."

Steve helped her out of the car, and linked their arms together as he led her to the surprise.

"Okay, we're here," he nervously said, he took her blindfold off.

Liz adjusted her eyes after being in the dark for the past 30 minutes. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted with a lantern lit up picnic on top of the hill at the park.

"Surprise," Steve said behind her.

Liz turned around to find Steve down on one knee, with an opened ring box.

"Steve," she gasped.

He took her left hand into his own.

"Elizabeth Carolina Sanchez, words can't even explain how much I am in love with you, but I'm going to try. I don't think i can remember back to a time where you weren't a part of my life, and honestly i don't want to. You've made me so incredibly happy these last almost seven years, and no matter how much I say I'm appreciate of you, i don't think it's ever going to be enough. Getting to wake up to you every day to you smiling at me, honestly i don't think there's a greater thing in the world. I'd give the entire world, if it meant that I got to see you smile every day of my life. I don't ever want to imagine a life without you. You've made me the best person I could ever want to be. There's not a day that doesn't go by where you don't continuously tell me how proud you are of me, and the endless amount of support and love you've given me. There's no one I'd rather spend my entire life with. Start a family with. Be a family with. So, Elizabeth, will you do me the greatest honor of marrying me?"

"Yes," Elizabeth choked out, as the tears streamed down her face. She lunged herself into Steve's arms and kissed him.

"I love you so much," she cried.

"I love you too," he said, pulling her into another kiss.

They pulled away, and Steve placed the ring on her finger.

"I love you," she said again.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 04 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.9K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

Walls Start Falling

“(Y/N), that was insane,” Monica says as you have your lunch break. “Billy never did that. He never cared enough.”

You're still a mess, a confusing, flustered mess. But you made up your mind. Yesterday's events were madness. But it was just Billy being nice, you concluded. Another reason for you to be thankful and to give friendship a chance. Nothing else. “Yeah, it was nice of him to do that.” You try to keep it cool, your voice steady.

“Weren't you even a little bit... Excited about that?” She lowers her voice, even though there's nobody else around.

“Well...” Lying is not your thing, so you just have to tune it down a bit. “I was surprised. Perplexed and... I don't know. It felt good to have someone stand up for me.” You remember how cute it was when Christopher defended Monica, and see it happening to you a while after did send chills down your spine. But there's no reason for you to believe it was anything else. Billy might think he likes you, but he doesn't know you enough yet. That reminds you of another thing you have to tell Mon. “He... Billy told me something weird yesterday.” Mumbling, you drum your fingers on the table.

“What?”

“That he... That he likes me.” It only takes four words to make Monica stand up abruptly as if bit by a snake.

“Why in the hell didn't you tell me that the moment you set foot in this pool?”

You can't help but giggle. “Because it's not a big deal. You can't just decide you like someone you don't even know.” Shrugging your shoulders, you play with your food.

“Look. Something happened to Billy in senior year.” She starts. “He was in this awful car accident and if it wasn't for his sister and her friends, he'd be dead. After that he... Changed. Not completely, but he stopped treating his sister like shit.” It makes you curious. You haven't seen any scars on Billy, and nobody told you about any kind of accident. Maybe you could ask him about it sometime.

“And what does it has to do with anything?”

“It means that he changed then so he can change now.” It has some physiological background she's not explaining. “Just... You can be a normal girl around me, ok? We're friends, we're supposed to tell each other this kind of things.”

It's not that you don't want to open up, you just don't want to think about Billy all the time. But you guess it's ok. You feel like you can trust Monica, even about things you're a little scared about. “I know. But tell you what exactly?” You ask, taking a sip from your lemonade.

Her lips break into a smile. “Like the fact that you find Billy hot.” You almost choke, clearing your throat as you put the glass down. “You said that yourself. Yesterday when you shoved into David's face that he's envious of Billy because he's way hotter.”

“Billy is... Cute.” That's a good word, you decide. It's kind, it's not a lie, and it sounds casual.

“Have you ever seen him shirtless?”

“Yes. We're both lifeguards on Hawkins Community Pool and it's Summer, so yes.” Mon rolls her eyes at you sarcastic tone, but you just smile at her.

“Ok. But have you stopped to actually look?”

“Monica, I won't stare at the guy.”

“Why not? He stares at you.”

“It's different.” You snap.

“How so?”

You don't know how to answer. You don't even know exactly what's going on with you, or with Billy, or with this whole town. It doesn't matter how hard you think, you can't come up with a satisfactory answer, one that will be enough for your brain to stop forming questions. Monica is restless, and sometimes you catch yourself wishing she won't call. And she doesn't even know that Billy kissed you in the cheek. If you tell her that, you'll never hear the end of it. “I don't–” The door is open suddenly and it makes you shut up immediately. And the person who comes in makes you nervously move in your chair, sitting up straight.

“Were you talking about me?” Billy asks with a smirk.

“No.” You burst out, ready to stand up and head back to your chair. But Monica moves first, giving you such a hard stare that it makes you sit back down.

“Gotta go.” She says, storming out of the cafeteria.

Billy sits where Monica was, looking at you, as usual. “You were talking about me, weren't you?”

“No,” you repeat, cursing yourself for lying. “My lunch break will be over in-” you take a quick look at the clock above the fridge. “-three minutes. So I gotta go too.”

“Tomorrow is our day off. What are you up to?” He says when you reach the door.

You do have somewhere to be, thank God. “Mon invited me for a trail in the woods. With her crew...” You lock eyes with him again, and somehow, even though the distance, you feel the weight. It's not a bad kind of weight... It's different. It's gentle. “Wanna come?” It comes out faster than you can process it, so you look down, not sure if you want him to say yes or no.

“Yeah.”

You know he's smiling, and it has an effect on you. “We'll meet up at Benny's at nine. Don't be late or we'll leave without you.”

“I'll be there.” You listen as you walk away, thankful for the forty-five minutes you'll have on your chair without Billy being around.

•••

The sun is casting a beautiful golden light. It will be another hot day, and the fact that you'll be walking all morning isn't going to help. So you picked a light blue shirt with thin straps, short jeans, and comfortable white sneakers. You're leaning against Monica's car, parked in front of Benny's Burgers, doing a side french braid on your hair as you wait for the guys to get here. There's a fresh, morning wind blowing, and you breathe in the soft smell of coffee coming from Benny's. You didn't tell anyone about inviting Billy, so, if he doesn't show up, you won't have anyone talking about it.

Minutes later, the rest of Monica's crew gets here, five minutes before nine. You feel a little relieved that Billy won't come, actually. You've been trying to understand why the guy is making you so nervous when you're set to pursue nothing but a good friendship. Being confused is tiring. “Well, let's go,” Jason exclaims, and immediately, everyone starts getting in the cars. You're moving to sit on the passenger seat of Monica's car when Christopher calls shotgun. Great.

You're about to get into the back seat when you hear a car approaching, dangerously fast judging by the loud noise, and then it stops. You stand up straight, feeling your stomach burning when you see it's Billy's Camaro. “What the hell,” Mon mutters, giving you a glance.

Ignore her, you tell yourself. “Did you invite him?” Jason asks. “Or is he just crashing the party again?”

“I invited him. Hope it's not a problem.” Jason shakes his head no before getting into the car. But not before giving you a smirk. Well, you invited him, so you have to go and say hi. With your stupid heart beating faster, you walk over his car, offering a small smile when he steps out, standing by the door. “Hey. You're almost late.”

“Almost. Get in.”

“I'm going in Mon's car.” You gesture at where the two cars are parked. You get the feeling that you'll just end up in the same talk as last time, so you give up. “Just because I'm literally your only friend here.” Rolling your eyes, you gesture for the guys to go as you walk around the car to get to the passenger seat.

Billy follows the party until they stop randomly by the road. Everyone starts moving, getting their backpacks to get into the woods. You get yours from Monica's car, putting in on your back.

“Hey,” Billy calls, gesturing for you to get over his car with his index finger.

“What?”

He doesn't say anything as he takes the water bottle and snacks from your bag, putting in on his backpack. You watch, arms crossed, wondering why in the hell he's doing it without even asking if he could. Once your stuff is packed with his, he throws your empty bag on the passenger seat.

“Give me that,” you demand, reaching out your hand. “I'll carry through half of the way and you carry on the other half.” You raise an eyebrow at his smug smile as he hands you the pack. The moment he releases it, the weight pulls your arm down, and you have to push it back up before it hits the ground. “Damn, what do you have in here?” Suddenly you don't wanna carry this thing anymore. You should've just played along.

“Don't worry, princess, I can carry it.”

Shit. That name again.

“Fine.” You give him the bag, moving closer to the others.

“For the sake of our health, we're not going too far today,” Christopher announces, leading the way.

He keeps saying things, but you're not listening. You have never been in the woods, and you're too busy looking around, taking it in. Diane was lucky to have grown up in such a place, so beautifully calm, close to nature, being able to just run a few miles and be among the trees. You easily fall back, walking slightly slower than the party, mesmerized.

“It looks like you're enjoying it,” Billy says, and you notice he's purposely keeping your pace. But what else would he do? You're the only one he talks to in this group.

“It's beautiful. Living so close to the woods... It's just amazing. I can't believe I actually live here.” You're smiling like an idiot now, your eyes moving from the trees up to the blue sky. “What about you? Do you like living here?”

“Not in the beginning, but I got used to it, I guess.”

“I'm from New York, so you get the difference.” Shrugging your shoulders, you see something through the corner of your eye. It's small, and it jumps from a tree to the ground, running away. “A squirrel!” You exclaim, gesturing at a tree on our left. “I saw a squirrel.” Giving one last look at the group, you start moving to where you saw it going to.

“Wait up,” Billy calls since you're trying to walk as fast as you can without tripping on any branches.

You scan the woods, looking for any sign of the small animal, but you don't find anything. There's a slight slope on the way, so you use a fallen tree as a support as you move through it. But a rock moves under your foot, making you slip and fall on your butt. A low whine escapes your mouth when you feel a sting on your calf as you slide down the rest of the slope.

“Hey.” Billy is suddenly before you, you don't even know how he got here so fast. He pulls you up, holding your arms. You're laughing though, and the confused expression on his face doesn't help much. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I'm alright.” You look up, noticing how close Billy is. His blue eyes are like the ocean, beautiful, calming, and peaceful. Not the kind of eyes you'd expect from someone with the reputation he has. Clearing your throat, you step back, dusting off your clothes. “The squirrel won this round, I guess.” You can feel his stare as you look down.

“There's a cut on your calf.” He gets on one knee, taking your left leg by the ankle.

“What are you doing?” You mutter when you almost fall for the sudden loss of balance. You use Billy's shoulder to keep yourself steady. You feel his thumb on your skin, watching as he carefully removes the blood from the wound to take a better look.

“It's just a small cut. You'll survive.” He says as he stands up, those blue, piercing eyes on you again.

That was... Weird. To say the least. You just don't get why it made you so nervous. You really need some time away from Billy to think and think very carefully, to get things figured out. “We should get going or we'll get left behind.”

“As you wish.” He gestures for you to move, and that's what you do. But when you're about to climb up the slope, Billy comes to stay near you, a hand on your side when you use the fallen tree to pull yourself up. You just decided you don't like him touching you. If that's what makes you nervous, you have to avoid it.

But how are you supposed to be friends with someone you can't touch? Friends hug all the time... Damn it, why does it have to be so confusing? You blame Billy for this, even though this is not really his fault. Or is it?

“Hey. Monica told me something about a car accident. In senior year.” You decide to ask, and hopefully get a nice conversation that will keep you from getting nervous.

“Yeah. I was going on a date when... I hit a deer and crashed the car.” By how dark his voice gets, you can tell those aren't pleasant memories.

“Was it bad?” You move to walk closer to him as if it would offer any kind of comfort.

“Very.” He confirms. “If it wasn't for my dipshit sister and her stupid friends I'd be dead.” Despite the mean names, he flashes a small, quick smile. “Things changed from that day on. I couldn't hate her anymore.”

“And why did you hate her before?”

“Everyone says I'm an asshole but I was an even worse asshole before. But that day, it just... Clicked. After years of having me treating her like trash, she still went through a lot of trouble to save my life.” He lowers his voice, barely a whisper now. “And I'm not sure I was worth saving back then.”

It breaks your heart a little, to see how some of his walls just fell to the ground. You wonder if he told this to all the girls he has been with. “And when are you going to introduce me to your sister?” You try lighting up the mood a little, elbowing him.

“Are you inviting yourself to my place?” His smirk is back, but it doesn't bother you. You're actually happy the heaviness in his voice faded away.

“No.”

“You already have a place to be on your next day off.” He's clearly not asking.

“I'm not going to your place, Billy.” Despite being glad the atmosphere changed, you still have to set up some boundaries.

“I'll make Max stay home. I'll even let her invite the kiddos.”

Running a hand through your hair, you start playing with the tip of the braid. “Only if you order pizza.” You give him a quick look, admiring his smile. “But I'm paying this time.”

“No way.”

“Then I'm not going.”

“You're very stubborn.”

“That I am.” Smirking at him, you move to walk backwards, right before him. “I'll stop by your place to meet your savior sister and her savior friends and I'll pay for the pizza. Deal?”

“You should really watch where you're going.” The moment he's done speaking, your back hits a tree. Billy comes closer, standing there, way too close for your taste, looking down at you. It reminds you of when he kissed your cheek, the sudden proximity that made your stomach burn before the feeling his lips on your skin. “Deal.” He whispers, moving away.

Closing your eyes for a couple of seconds, you take the deepest breath you can, thankful that he moved away. He's doing that on purpose, you're so damn sure. Rolling your eyes, you set in motion, now listening to the low chattering of the group.

“Billy. Let me get some water.” You quicken your pace until you reach him, searching through his backpack until you find your bottle. It's still cold, thankfully. “Want some?” You watch as he shakes his head no before you drink. You take a few sips, closing your eyes at the good sensation of the fresh water in such a heat. Suddenly you feel the bottle being pushed up, and the water spills all over your mouth and nose, rolling down your chest. Opening your eyes abruptly, the first thing you see it's Billy's amused smile.

“You're such a-” You move forward, holding the bottle tightly as you throw some water on him. “-idiot!”

He bursts into a laugh as the fight begins. You're struggling to throw what's left of the water on his face as he tries to hold your arms. “You gave me no choice.” He mumbles under his heavy breath.

“Shut up,” you yell, your voice altered by the laughs. You're trying to set free from his grip, but he's stronger. You use your body weight to try and make him move backward, anything that could give you a chance. “Jerk!” As you speak he somehow manages to take the bottle from your hand, throwing the water on you. But you think fast, moving your body closer to his as you push his arm, so the water ends up falling on both of you.

“Hey, kids!” Jason shouts, and your head immediately turns at the source of his voice. You're both frozen now, as you notice the whole group stopped, looking at you. “Let's go!”

Clearing your throat, you struggle not to let your mind process the closeness. How you pushed yourself onto Billy, collapsing on his chest. “Let's go,” you tell him, stepping away. “Jerk,” you repeat, failing to hold back the smile.

×

@chloe-skywalker

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Time To Wake Up

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

I'm sad to leave but I know we have to.

Emmy says it's time so I say bye to Rhys and he gives me a big hug.

"I'm really glad I got to meet them," I tell Emmy as we head to the car.

"Me too, grasshopper."

He opens the backseat door and I think he's gonna put his bag in but instead he says

"Can you ride back here and see if you like it?"

"To the house?"

"Yep, just to the house. You can ride up front when we go back to Baltimore if you want but I think you should try it."

I mean, sure.... it's a nice seat.

"Okay."

I climb in and he puts his bag up front where I usually sit.

"Emmy?"

"Yeah?"

"We get to see Marten tonight."

I miss playing with him even though we've had lots of fun.

"We sure do. He's gonna go crazy tonight when he sees us. You can play with him while I make dinner."

It's weird being in the back seat but I kinda like it too.

I put my head back and soon he's shaking me.

"Sorry darling, we're here and you've gotta get out of the car."

"I fell 'sleep?"

"Yeah. You're tuckered out, right? You can curl up on the couch for a few more minutes after you change."

I'm sleepy and a nap sounds good.

"Okay."

We take a quick shower to rinse and he puts me in comfy shorts and a t-shirt for the ride, then leads me to the couch.

"You hungry, darling?"

"Nope."

I lie down and I know maybe I should kinda be helping but I'm sleepy.

"I'll pack you something for the road then," he says, kissing my forehead.

"I'll wake you up when it's time to leave, get some rest sleepyhead."

It feels like no time at all before he's waking me up and putting me in the back seat.

He's brought a blanket and pillow and I have a bag with some snacks, my adult stuff and a few toys.

I think I'm just gonna sleep and I do for about an hour.

When I wake up I ask but luckily I haven't missed it, we're not over the bridge yet.

My cell-phone rings and it's Megan... I have to get it.

"Finnegan speaking."

"Mr. Walker," she says and I want to correct her for the eighty second time and tell her to call me Finnegan but her voice sounds strained and I shut up and listen.

"Jerrod... um... Jerrod..."

"White."

My construction foreman.

Interesting that she knows his first but not last, name.

"Yes. Mr. White was just here and shut the whole place down. He says there's a problem with the financing?"

"We're less than a week in. How can we be out of money?"

We can't be and I know that.

I don't usually speak without thinking.

"Get me somebody from accounting on the line. Hell, get me all of accounting. Is Jerrod still there?"

"No. He left a few minutes ago. I told him you would be in tomorrow morning and I thought that would calm him down but I guess he took it to mean that he didn't need to work until then. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. Accounting please. And send me some more resumes. I need a department head... like yesterday."

"You've got it. Just a second please."

This was a very harsh wake-up call.

I sort of feel like I'm still half-asleep and being pulled between two worlds and I guess I sort of am.

We cross the Bay Bridge while I'm still on hold so I get to admire the vie I spent the next ten minutes talking to Denise in accounting.

It's sad but I'm not sure which one she is... I think she's the brunette with the bob but maybe that's Susan?

Apparently the purchase order from the government didn't go through because they put the wrong year on it.   

No one on my side caught it either. 

It's so stupid that it would be funny if it didn't mean that I am now bouncing checks to contractors, suppliers and who knows who else.

It's another twenty minute phone call to find out that the purchase order has been re-issued and I can pick it up in person or they will mail it.

Government bureaucracy is a world of its own.

I've heard stories, of course but somehow had myself convinced it couldn't really be that bad.

It's not.... It's worse.

"Emmett."

"Yeah, darling? Sounds serious back there."

"Anyway we can stop by D.C. on our way home... Is that totally out of the way?"

I'm trying to see it in my head but I don't know where on the coast Rehoboth is.

"If you need to go... we'll go."

That means it's in completely the wrong direction.

"I can go tomorrow morning."

"Before your nine a.m. inspection? No, you can't, Finnegan. No worries. We just need to turn the other way at Annapolis."

He already has us turned around and back on the highway but this time heading south.

I pull a rather illegal maneuver and climb into the passenger seat and toss his bag behind me.

My legs are squished because he moved it so I'd have more leg-room in the back seat.

He really is ridiculously thoughtful.

I push my seat back and put my hand on his arm.

"Thank you."

"Don't worry about it darling. Hopefully doing this now improves our chances of getting back to the beach."

"It does."

It's a happy thought to hang on to but my head is swirling and most of the thoughts going through it aren't good ones.

It's nothing to do with Emmett... he's amazing... it's everything else.

I'm just not in the mood for hard.

Don't laugh, this is serious.

I'm only in the mood for Emmett's hard and that's not happening right now.

I love my job, I really do.

It challenges me and makes me think and I learn new things constantly.

It pays me way more than enough to live on and it gives me a great sense of accomplishment.

What more can I ask? Nothing.

I just didn't want to be working today.

I've kinda been ignoring tomorrow and pretending like it's not a big deal.

I had myself convinced that I would be fine because I'd be waking up at Emmett's which I've been doing for weeks, getting dressed just like usual and I know how that goes... you know?

But this I didn't plan on.

I want to scream or cry but instead I look through my bag and get a snack. 

Time to be a big boy.