#and then he woke up and things somehow got even more gay

[wakeup-wakeup-if-its-all-you-do]

@bakudekublogblog

It was insane- everyone was screaming, crying throwing up because our boi had died with Izuku as his last thought (and he looked so fucking beautiful too like hori was really going full in on the tragic lovers thing) and at the same time we were dying too because our beloved son had a gaping hole in his chest from his own heart exploding. There was just so much to unpack (and luckily there were many fanfic authors to unpack it).

AO3 was flooded with fics (and this was saying something because around that time every new chapter with either bk or dk in it would usually inspire a wave of fics anyway) and tumblr was flooded with posts like never before. With it, came the birth of @is-bakugou-alive-yet 's blog (inspiring a new trend for the bnha fandom of is-x-character-alive-yet blogs)- it became a normal part of the day to scroll through tumblr and see the dreaded "No" that meant our beloved explody boi was not yet returned to us. We were in the trenches. The most devastating (and devastatingly beautiful) fanart you can imagine was churned out during this time- in a way, Bakugou's death was like a morbid renaissance for bkdks. We could not bring him back, but goddamn it, we could wallow in our grief and paint it so bright that the stars would be forced to suffer with us.

It's impossible to articulately just how profoundly it hit us. Bakugou died thinking, "Can I still catch up to you, Izuku?" It had actually become canon that Bakugou thought that HE was actually the one chasing after Izuku their entire lives and not the other way around like he'd always claimed. He died thinking "Ah, so this is the path you had to walk?" as his second quirk awakening began to break his own body, just like Izuku had struggled with OFA at the beginning of the series. Shigaraki said that the only thing that interested him about Bakugou was how he's "closer to Izuku Midoriya than anyone else."

We had gotten more than we'd ever hoped for but the price was our son's life.

And what hurt the most, Izuku wasn't even there for it.

y'all i know kacchan dying like that must have been traumatizing for the bkdk shippers, but like.... he also died in the gayest way humanly possible.... like i can't even imagine going through that bc on one hand it's like my special boy is dead, but on the other he was so love interest coded, shiggy killed him specifically bc of izuku's intense feelings about him, the fucking yearning for izuku as he died, and then the reveal he carries the little all might card he got with izuku around with him like. i cannot stress enough just how gay his death was. like i just know the shippers had to be a little conflicted

[seventh-district]

it's always something. PLEASE can i just go One single day without there being Something

[swappermanent]

e-Swap (Part 2)

Read Part 1 by @swapery here.

Liam's POV:

It’s wild to look back on it now. Four years ago, I was just a cocky kid scrolling through Tumblr, indulging in bodyswap roleplays. I mean, it’s hot, right? The idea of becoming someone else, walking in their skin, living their life—it’s escapism at its best.

To be honest, though? What really turned me on the most was the idea of someone else wanting to take over my life. And this guy—Kristoph—he wanted to step into my shoes, take over everything about me, and, I don’t know… maybe live my life better than I could. That hit me somewhere deep.

Sure, I found Kristoph hot. Objectively speaking, he was attractive. He had this kind of rugged, manly charm—average height, short curly brown hair, a beard that was thick but didn’t quite fill in everywhere. In gay terms, he’d be an “otter,” though not the polished, Instagram-perfect kind. Still, there was something about him, something raw and real.

But what I found so hot wasn’t necessarily his looks. It was the roleplay itself. The back-and-forth, the fantasy of letting someone else become me—it was intoxicating. So I flirted with him, told him how hot he was and how much I wanted to be him too. It egged him on, made him want me even more. And that was harmless, right? That’s what roleplaying is for. It’s not real life. Nobody actually thinks they’re going to wake up in someone else’s body.

And who knows? If it hadn’t been for what happened next, I probably would’ve gotten bored after a few days and moved on. I’ve done it before. I’m a bit… boy-obsessive. A bit of a heartbreaker, if I’m being honest. Cute guys came and went. I was always onto the next. And, let’s be real, it usually worked for me because, well, I was even cuter.

But that’s not what happened.

---

I was completely thrown when I woke up one morning in Kristoph’s body. Like, how the fuck was that even possible? I stared at myself—well, at him—in the mirror, touching the unfamiliar beard, the broader shoulders, the chest that didn’t feel like mine. It didn’t make any sense.

The first thing I did was try to contact myself. I called my phone—my phone, which was now across the world in Australia, in Kristoph’s hands. No answer. I sent messages on Tumblr, over and over, desperate to get a reply, but it was like shouting into the void.

Confusion quickly turned to anger. As the hours dragged on, I couldn’t shake the growing suspicion that he must’ve done this to us somehow. He must’ve found a way. What other explanation could there be?

How could he do this to me? To us? Without even asking? Without telling me it was real?

Well… okay. He had asked, technically. And I had consented, in a joking way. But I thought it was all pretend. A game. Roleplay. Something to get off on—not… this.

Now I was out of moves. Totally stuck. Kristoph lived in England—or I guess I did now—and I lived in Australia. Or, well, he did. Either way, it wasn’t like I could just hop on a plane and go confront him. What was I even supposed to say? “Hey, give me my body back”? Impossible.

---

As I began to accept the fact that I was stuck in Kristoph’s body, resentment crept in. I hated how I looked. I mean, I know I’d flirted with him online—played it up, told him how hot I thought he was—but I didn’t actually want to be him. Not for real.

Honestly, I couldn’t stand his beard. It was scruffy, patchy, and felt like a chore to maintain. And in person? He was so much shorter than I’d imagined. That one photo he’d sent me had totally oversold him. His muscles were fine, I guess, but not as impressive as I’d hoped. Definitely felt like I’d been catfished.

And the worst part? He had no hot romantic prospects at all. No dates, no flirty DMs, no wild social life. The guy was a total dud. Meanwhile, I was stuck in his body while he got the better end of the deal.

It didn’t take long for me to start seeing his posts online. There he was, shirtless and flaunting my old twinky body for the world to see. He was out everywhere—hanging with my friends, partying, meeting people I didn’t even recognize. Hot, sexy guys who I could only assume were his latest hookups or maybe even a boyfriend.

At first, it made me furious. How could he be so bold, living my life like that? But slowly—bit by bit—I found myself getting turned on by those posts. Watching him, in my body, owning the life I’d built, looking amazing in photos, thriving without me… it did something to me.

He still wouldn’t reply to my texts, but it’s not like he’d blocked me on social media either. If anything, it felt like he wanted me to see it all. To flaunt it. After all, he’d been into bodyswap fantasies too—he probably loved the idea of me watching him live my life better than I ever could.

And damn, was he doing a good job. I started thinking about how well he was pulling it off. He didn’t need my help or guidance; he didn’t need anything from me at all. He’d just stepped into my shoes and thrived.

I couldn’t help it after a while—it turned me on. Seeing him so confident, so free, so successful in my life was like watching my biggest fantasy unfold before my eyes. It was frustrating. It was infuriating.

And it was so fucking sexy.

---

Eventually, I turned my focus to fixing up my new body, accepting that this situation was probably permanent. There wasn’t much else I could do.

At first, I tried to go back to my old look—the twinky vibe I’d always rocked. It felt safe, familiar. I shaved the beard and acted a bit more submissive, like I used to. But the more I leaned into it, the more wrong it felt.

It was almost like this body was resisting me, like it was pushing me to be something else. Something… jockier. Stronger. It was weird, but I couldn’t ignore it.

So I regrew the beard, but this time I made it work—neat, full, and intentional. Then I started trying out sports, just to see what stuck. Tennis, running, biking… I gave them all a go.

But the one that really clicked for me was rugby. Something about it felt right, like this body was made for it.

I threw myself into it. It was a lot of hard work—hours in the gym, changing how I ate, how I moved, how I carried myself. But over time, I started to see real results. The body I was living in became exactly what Kristoph had pretended to be all those years ago: a true muscle hunk.

It wasn’t just the body, though. Something about the discipline, the structure, the focus it took to transform myself—it all changed me, too. I started posting on social media, sharing my progress. And damn, the attention rolled in. Now I’ve got more hot guys sliding into my DMs than I can keep track of.

But here’s the thing—I’ve learned a lot about how to treat people, about how to navigate relationships. I’m not the boy-obsessive heartbreaker I used to be. That’s made the best ones—the guys who actually matter—want me even more.

Honestly? I’ve never felt more in control, more confident, or more like me.

---

That brings me to today. I just got an email telling me to check the messages on this old Tumblr account, one I’d almost forgotten I even had. It was from Liam.

I was surprised to see his name pop up after all these years. Part of me wondered what he wanted, but honestly? I didn’t even read it. And I’m definitely not going to respond. Why would I?

So consider this post my way of signing off for good. I’ve learned my lesson—I know better than to mess around on those forums ever again.

Besides, look at me now. I’m hot as fuck. Why would I ever want to be anyone but me?

[fratttymatty]

A Recipe For Transformation

(All characters are 18+)

Maxwell Harris, a 35-year-old chef, had spent the better part of his adult life building a quiet, nerdy, and comfortable existence. A self-proclaimed introvert with an encyclopedic knowledge of culinary history, he found his solace in the kitchen. His restaurant, The Pantry's Secret, wasn’t a Michelin-star establishment, but it was cozy, warm, and a favorite for those who appreciated simple yet delicious dishes. Maxwell was never much for trends. He had a small but loyal following on Instagram, mostly of people who admired his rustic food and quirky cooking videos.

Maxwell was also gay. Though he’d never made a big deal out of it, his romantic life was something he kept private. A few dates here and there, nothing too serious, and that was how he liked it—comfortable and familiar.

But everything changed one ordinary Tuesday evening when Maxwell found himself scrolling mindlessly through his phone after a long day of plating plates and dicing onions. He’d heard of TikTok before—mostly from his teenage nieces and the occasional viral dance clip—but he’d never really bothered to check it out. That night, curiosity got the better of him. He downloaded the app on a whim and started browsing. And that’s when he saw it: a video of a guy with perfect abs flipping pancakes while flexing his muscles and grinning at the camera. The caption read: “Who says you can’t cook and look this good? 😎 #chef #fyp.”

Maxwell didn’t know what to make of it, but something stirred inside of him. It wasn’t just the muscles or the smirk that caught his attention. There was something about the sheer confidence of the guy, the effortless charisma that he seemed to radiate. For the first time in a long time, Maxwell felt an odd mix of fascination and envy.

He didn’t think much of it, until he went to bed that night. As he drifted off to sleep, the faces and poses of those TikTok "influencers" played on loop in his mind, each one more dazzling than the last.

When Maxwell woke up the next morning, everything was wrong. His reflection in the bathroom mirror was no longer his own. The first thing he noticed was his skin—it was flawless, tanned, and golden, like he’d spent every summer outdoors. His face had changed too—his jawline was sharp, his cheekbones were high, and there was no sign of the nerdy, bespectacled man he had once been. His hair, once brown and slightly messy, was now thick and dark brown, styled perfectly into a tousled, beachy wave. And the body… Maxwell’s once-soft belly had been replaced by tight, defined muscles. He was tall, lean, and impossibly athletic. There was no trace of the chef he had been.

“Holy shit,” he whispered under his breath, and the voice that came out of his mouth was deep, confident, and undeniably… cocky.

He wasn’t Maxwell Harris anymore. He was Blake Harper—a name that felt right somehow, and a persona that seemed to fit his new body. For a moment, panic flickered in his chest. How was this possible? Was he dreaming? Was this some kind of sick joke? But no matter how many times he splashed cold water on his face, the reflection didn’t change. He was stuck. But the strange thing was, part of him didn’t even care. He was too mesmerized by his new appearance to be truly upset.

Maxwell—now Blake—stared at himself in awe. He felt an overwhelming sense of confidence that had never existed before. The kitchen he once loved, with its knives and pots, felt distant. In fact, the thought of returning to the mundane routine of chopping vegetables made him cringe. Instead, his attention was drawn back to his phone, where TikTok still lingered open on his screen.

Blake found himself scrolling through thirst traps, videos of shirtless men flexing their muscles and showing off their abs, all while cooking something ridiculously simple like ramen or grilled cheese. The odd mixture of food and body worship was bizarrely captivating.

Without even thinking, Blake started recording. He pulled on his old chef’s apron and, despite the oddness of it, stood in front of his kitchen counter. The camera began rolling as he confidently slid off his shirt, leaving only the apron to cover his lower half. He flexed, turned sideways, then poured olive oil into a pan with exaggerated slowness, all while making eye contact with the camera.

He added a winking emoji and a hashtag: #FYP #chefmode #StayHungry

When he posted it, he didn’t expect much. But within an hour, his phone exploded. Notifications piled up—likes, comments, and follows. His face grinned, not with his old nerdy charm, but with the cocky, entitled smirk of someone who knew they had the world at their feet. It was exhilarating.

Blake was officially a TikTok sensation.

Within weeks, Blake’s account skyrocketed. His videos got millions of views, and his followers were constantly sending in requests for more. He filmed himself making simple dishes while casually stripping off his shirt, flexing and posing, all while maintaining an air of effortless cool. His followers adored him. They showered him with compliments, thirsting over his abs, his jawline, his seemingly perfect life.

But there was something even stranger happening in Blake’s mind. As he scrolled through his For You Page, the algorithm slowly changed to reflect his new persona. The thirst traps weren’t from guys anymore. They were all from women. Beautiful, athletic women, doing everything from gym workouts to sultry dances to bikini shoots. His mind, once attuned to male attraction, was now tuned in to the allure of these women, and it felt right.

Blake didn’t just stop with cooking either. He started wearing less and less, showing off his athletic build, and posting videos of him lifting weights or doing pushups in his kitchen with nothing but an apron and a cocky grin. The thirst traps flowed endlessly, and he reveled in the attention. His followers—mostly women—were obsessed with him.

And then, one day, he noticed a particular woman’s name in his DMs. Maya Lopez. Her profile was full of glamorous pictures: her looking effortlessly stunning in dresses, lounging in parks, and posing in cute, fashionable outfits. Maya wasn’t built like the athletes or fitness influencers he’d grown accustomed to—she had a perfectly slim, graceful figure, with soft curves that made her look effortlessly elegant. Blake found himself intrigued by her sweetness, her calm confidence, and the way her beauty shone through without trying too hard.

They started chatting, and it was effortless. Maya was everything Blake found himself drawn to now: confident, kind, and undeniably attractive. Blake no longer cared about his past relationships with men. Maya was everything he wanted now, and he was more than happy to pursue it.

Blake and Maya met for their first date a week later. Blake, dressed in a tight t-shirt that showed off his sculpted abs and a leather jacket, stood waiting for Maya at the restaurant. Maya arrived, wearing a fitted dress that accentuated her slim, feminine figure, and Blake couldn’t help but be taken aback by her beauty.

They spent the evening laughing, exchanging stories of their lives, and sneaking flirtatious glances. The chemistry between them was undeniable, and by the end of the night, Blake knew he was more than just physically attracted to her. He was falling for her.

As they walked out of the restaurant, Blake leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear. “I’m not just the chef, you know,” he said with a grin. “I’m also the guy who’s going to make you feel like the queen you are.”

Maya smiled, a playful glint in her eyes. “We’ll see about that, Chef Blake. I’m not easy to impress.”

Blake’s grin widened. “Challenge accepted.”

Blake Harper, the former introverted chef, had completely embraced his new identity. He had the body, the looks, the charisma, and the woman of his dreams. His TikTok following grew exponentially as he continued to post thirst traps, flexing his muscles in the kitchen, making simple dishes while casually showing off his abs.

Maxwell Harris was long gone, replaced by a man who had it all—confidence, popularity, and Maya by his side. The past life he had built, with its quiet nights and simple joys, no longer seemed relevant.

And as Blake posted yet another shirtless video, his phone buzzing with likes and comments, he couldn’t help but feel that this was the life he was always meant to lead. No looking back.

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Roommate Swap

I started walking back to my dorm from the last class of the day. It was my second year of college and there was no doubt autumn was coming up fast with the amount of people wearing jackets outside. I was way ahead of them, as I was desperate for the weather to get colder so I could wear my leather jacket. I felt really cool with it on, even though I wasn't really a cool guy. I was kinda sensitive and geekish, but hey, if I can look the part then maybe people will think of me as cool.

I arrived at the dorm building, walked inside, and took the elevator to get to the 6th floor where my room was. I opened the door to find my roommate, Nathan, on his PC as usual. He was a pretty big guy, at least bigger than me. I've seen his clothing sizes from when his shirts were lying on the floor, and he wore size XL, and sometimes 2XL. But even though I was gay and we were roommates, he wasn't really my type.

When Nathan noticed me, he immediately got up and started heading towards the bathroom. We were the type of roommates that rarely spoke to each other, unless it was something chore related. We should've been friends because we both spent most of our freetime online, but I guess we're both too shy. But still, I wondered what was up so I broke the silence.

“Hey what's up?” I said.

“I got a date. I told myself I'd start to get ready around the time you got back.”

“Oh nice!” Woah, he didn't seem like the type anybody would be attracted to, but I guess there were plenty of fish in the sea. He grabbed some clothes and closed the bathroom door, so I began working on my homework. After awhile he walked back out in a shirt and tie, with his beard neatly trimmed.

“Looking good,” I blurted out. He didn't seem to care how awkward I sounded because he smiled.

“Thanks man.”

He did his hair a bit and was out the door in a flash. I wondered who he was going on a date with?

A few hours later I was doing homework on my bed when the door opened and Nathan walked in. He didn't look too happy so I'm guessing the date didn't go too well. Since I didn't know much about his personal life, I didn't want to say a word in case he was the type to lash out at others. So I just continued what I was doing.

He began taking off his formal clothes. Nathan was the type of guy that wasn't shy with undressing in front of people. The sight of him shirtless wasn't the prettiest sight though. When he untucked his shirt, his belly flopped back down, hanging over his belt.

People always warned me about eating habits in college and most get that Freshman 15, but from what I've seen with old photos of Nathan, he went way beyond 15. He was as skinny as I was now on some of his socials, so he must've really let himself go. Good thing I had a fast metabolism; I hadn't gained a pound since I got to college.

He didn't take off the rest of his clothes; he just plopped down onto his chair, turned on his PC, and started gaming. I finished up my homework and decided to do the same, opening up my laptop and spending the rest of the night online until I was ready to take my contacts out and head to bed.

The next morning I woke up to my alarm, that for some reason sounded much further away. I opened my eyes to find it actually wasn't next to me at all…and for some reason I was in Nathan's bed? I looked to the other side of the room and saw a lump in my bed - a sign that someone was underneath the covers. I reached around to find glasses…although they weren't mine, somehow I could see with them. When I tried to sit up, I found it way more difficult to do so. It felt like gravity was pushing down extra hard. Maybe the sheets were weighing me down? I threw them off to find I was shirtless…and fat! What the fuck! I put my hand over the round lump of flesh to confirm if it was real or not. It was soft to the touch and felt kinda squishy. I also had a good amount of chest hair, which was something I wasn't used to, being a hairless twink. But I definitely wasn't a twink anymore!

I got up off the bed and could feel my entire body jiggle. I looked down at my belly and although it was harder to see with my big gut in the way, I noticed I was wearing blue shorts - Nathan's blue shorts. Oh god. I began making my way towards the bathroom when the covers started moving from my bed. What must've been Nathan in my body pulled them off himself and stared at me for a few seconds until he found my glasses, put them on, and stared at me again, looking even more confused.

“Brent? What's going on? That IS you right?”

“I-uh don't even know.”

“Why is it like…I'm seeing myself?” He then glanced down at himself and squeezed his shirt… I mean my shirt. He then lifted it up and bit and touched my chest, rubbing his hand around.

“Are we…?”

“Each other…”

“Fuck”

I could tell this must've been as awkward for him as it was for me. “So uh…do you want to do the big reveal?”

“The what?”

“You know. Like in those movies where they both look in the mirror at themselves and scream or whatever.”

“Uh…sure.” He jumped out of bed, and power walked to the bathroom. It was so strange seeing myself walk around, like playing a 3rd person perspective game. Is that what I really looked like? When we got to the mirror, I understood what he meant. It really was like in those movies where they freak out at their new bodies.

It was crazy to gaze straight ahead at the mirror and see someone else's face. It was like wearing a mask or something, but I grazed my hands all over and assured myself that it was all real. I slowly moved my hand to my chest and felt the curves of my…man tits. I was grossed out and pulled my hand away.

“You don't have to do that. I mean it is your body now afterall…er right now anyway.”

It was kinda creepy, the idea of him allowing me to touch his body, especially since it was spoken with my voice. All of a sudden reality set in. I was so focused on how ugly I looked that I completely forgot we had no idea how this happened or how to change back!

“We need to figure this out soon. I have class today!”

“Can't you just skip?”

“No I can't. It's the kind of class that knocks down your grade if you don't attend.”

“Oh shit. Well I could go for you I guess.”

The idea of someone else going around looking like me in public was unsettling but I don't think I had a choice.

“Fine. But hurry up. I don't want to be late.”

Nathan got ready for me, putting on exactly what clothes I told him to wear, which included my leather jacket. Seeing myself from a different perspective made me realize how hot I actually was. I glanced down at my chubby belly as I hoped this curse would end soon. I told Nathan the details of getting to my class and everything, and as he closed the door behind him, I realized that I didn't know what I should do today. He didn't have any classes of his own and I really didn't want to go out in public like this.

I walked back into the bathroom and stared at my fat self as I touched Nathan's belly. I instinctively made my way down towards his dick and felt a bulge forming. Why was this happening? I definitely wasn't turned on by Nathan. Maybe it had something to do with the idea that I was technically grabbing someone else's dick. I didn't want to see his face so I took off my glasses. That way I could kinda see everything else, but not a clear identification. I then grabbed my belly as I stroked my dick and started jerking.

The fat slapped my arm with every movement, but I didn't care. I came all over the floor and after a bit, I got dressed and decided to go outside after all. Surprisingly the idea of walking around as a fat guy in public was turning me on once again. I really didn't even mind Nathan walking around in my body now if it meant I could walk around in his!

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

OKAY here is the completely nonserious percy jackson npmd au thats been taking up space in my brain for weeks now because it simply needs somewhere to go:

New campers-

Stephanie Lauter:

I'm not overcomplicating this one: Steph is a daughter of Aphrodite

Solomon Lauter saw the hottest woman at some party where he was campaigning, and he’s is nothing if not ‘passionate’ and successful (by design) so it worked out

As far as Steph knows until her teens her mom ran off on her dad when she was a baby, and that’s fine, she doesn't give a shit, she’s never looked into it

Until, when she’s sixteen (because somehow she’s made it this long) Grace Chasity starts a rumor, her dad sends her to Abstinence Camp and the monster in the woods chases her right into camp halfblood

She gets claimed pretty promptly and Is Not A Fan

She’s thinks it’s pretty sexist and conceited and stupid and problematic for a whileeeee and refuses to look into it any more than ‘pink and pretty and misogynistic’ which like, doesn’t go well for her but she’s nothing if not stubborn

She’s fluent in French because of her mom but she doesn’t know that until she gets to camp and is genuinely so pissed off that the one school subject she thought she was good at isn’t even on her own merit

She’s got some vague appearance manipulation stuff, and once she realizes she does she exclusively uses it to change her hair color and make her eyeliner look good

She’s probably like camp way more if she knew about it earlier but the combo of her had having kept it from her and who her mom is and all the stupid games/worship expectations piss her off and she bails on most of the events/training/campfires out of spite

She definitely uses some close up weapon like a dagger or short sword

Grace Chastity:

Grace is a daughter of Ares 

(Her finding this out goes very poorly)

Im ngl i feel like somehow Ares ended up with Mark Chastity, I refuse to examine this thought but i think Mark Chastity had his first gay experience and woke up the next morning with a baby there somehow because Ares thought it would be hilarious and wanted to see what would happen

She gets chased to camp with Steph from Abstinence Camp and is fucking livid, the whole thing is insanely scareligious and ridiculous and everyone there is going to hell and she is so heated that Ares, once again thinking it’s really funny and slightly proud, claims her on the spot

Grace Chastity is out here with her sacreligious two gay dads

She really resents specifically who her dad is because in her head she is made for peace and love and spreading the word of god, she hates the idea of war or violence on principal, so she spends a lot of time at the strawberry fields or Pegusus stables because she does really like the flying horses :)

She refuses to take place in any camp activities or training and all her siblings hate her

At a certain point she’s able to harness a level of odikinesis (enhancing feelings of hatred and war) and it doesn’t go well

Chiron honestly is forcing her to stick around because he’s REALLY so very nervous about how the fuck it would go to have Grace loose on the mortal world right after she finds everything else

Her weapon is an axe

Obviously

AND THEN we’ve got the established campers-

Peter Spankoffski:

Okay so forgive me for my special little blorbo-fication of my guy but:

Pete’s a son of Nyx

He super fucking shouldn’t be, there aren’t demi-god children of Nyx, just monsters and minor gods, but him and Ted were kind of just… thought experiments? Like she was bored and very curious so she took a really shitty human and had a child with him (Ted) and then, in what Nyx’s head was barely any time at all but in human years was straight up 18 years, has another one (Pete)

Ted raises Pete for a couple years, but children of Nyx in general are just bad omens, and human children of Nyx who probably shouldn’t exist are no exception, so they get hunted down by monsters hard

Ted dies or disappears by the time Pete’s ten or eleven and he ends up at a camp

He’s a year round camper and lives in the hermes cabin because obviously Nyx doesn’t have a cabin (look okay i know that percy fixed that, but that bit of lore where any unclaimed or minor god children live at the hermes cabin is so fucked up and rife with angst and hurt/comfort potential is too much for me to resist so this is a universe where percy jackson does not exist)

His luck is horrible, like it’s a magical demigod ability how horrible his luck is and he’s well on his way to systematically having broken every single one of his bones one by one, they know him so well in the apollo cabin

NO ONE (and I mean NO ONE) likes him and he’s considered a camp wide jinx so he takes one for the team and personally exempts himself from any team events like capture the flag because no one is willing to have him on their side

A lot of newer campers generally assume he’s an Athena kid because he really enjoys learning/strategy/by-the-book stuff because it’s a lot easier than trying to get involved with the more dangerous athletic shit 

Because his mom is the goddess of night he’s very into outer space

His weapon is a bow and arrow, but he’s pretty good with most range weapons/anything that he can calculate aim for 

Ruth Fleming:

Ruth is a daughter of Demeter and she’s pissed about it

Her dad told her about being a demigod a couple years before she went to camp but he didn’t know who her mom was so she got very very into greek mythos and shit and was convinced she was a daughter of Athena or Aphrodite or someone else nine-year-old-girl-cool and was fucking devestated when it was the goddess of farming

Like, she’ll do all the things she’s expected to (helping in the strawberry fields, weeding, etc..) but she’s going to complain about it

She doesn’t even have any cool powers to go with it!!! it’s so unfair >:( 

She’s also involved with the camp’s theater department and is convinced it’s rigged against her because of who her mom is in favor of Apollo and Dionysus kids (in fairness…. it probably is) which is why she’s always stuck on tech 

She’s definitely got a crush of Richie’s dad

She’s a summer only camper for sure, monsters don’t hunt her down for any reason in particular or en mass so she can get away with it and fight off the ones that do, but she does kind of take offense to the fact that even monsters don't want her (even if they’d just kill her) 

Her childhood greek mythology obsession carries over so she knows every dumb little detail about every myth and will bring it up unprompted

Her main weapon is just a celestial bronze sword but i feel like when she first got to camp at 12 she bribed a child of Iris to change the color of it so it looks like… rose gold lmao

Richie Lipschitz:

Richie is a son of Dionysus

And sure, okay, I know what you're thinking: that doesn’t really fit…?

But to that I say oh boy it does, just not for Richie

For his twin brother Trevor however– 

Richie is kind of like the black sheep of his cabin, not that there is many of them, because his brother is perfectly cookie cutter what a Dionysis kid should be (he’s a theater kid, he throws good parties, he’s generally popular) and Richie is not

They both started camp at probably 10-ish, a little earlier than traditional because there were two of them which drew more monsters

His eyes are violet though which he thinks is very cool so he dyes his hair purple to match them

He sorta-kinda has chlorokinesis, specifically for grape and strawberry vines, which a. he also thinks is very cool, and b. he uses as an excuse to get out of training so he can hang out with Ruth

He's also really good at swimming and trying to work up the courage to ask his dad if he'd possibly be able to grant him the ability to turn into a dolphin but just like... only when he wanted tot and he could turn back

He really wishes his was an Apollo kid (though, obviously he’d never say that out loud) because of the artistic stuff, so he sort of just tries to gaslight everyone that because his dad is the god of the Arts that includes physical art like drawing so obviously that’s why he’s good at it

He’s a summer-only camper too but for the dumbest reason; their parents gave the twins a choice, but Trevor wanted to be able to go back to school to do school plays and Richie can’t watch anime at camp so they chose summer only

His weapon is just a normal sword but he’s campaigning to get a child of Hephaestus to make him a Katana

(They’re all three kind of outcasts in terms of their own godly parents, because Ruth and Richie don’t really fit the mold of ‘normal child of [blank]’ and Pete’s kind of just generally disliked because of his parentage, so they all sort of came together as friends out of necessity but now they’re just actually buddies and they hang out)

anyway who knows if ill do anything with this but its FUN and id love to talk about it forever they're just little demigod losers I love them

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E14: Gender Bender

Case: In what is arguably one of the most "why did you write this??" plots so far, our dynamic duo (per Mulder's request, I might add) investigate the deaths of five victims who appear to have, like... been fucked to death? Or something?

Actually I have to interrupt my own summary here, bc I just looked up the Wikipedia page (yes, bc I was trying to remember the state, shut up), and Glen Morgan is apparently quoted as saying he wanted "an episode with more of a sexy edge." How that ended up being this particular episode, I cannot say. That is an X-File in and of itself.

But I digress. People are dying of mb really high levels of pheromones caused by super mind-blowing sex. Sure. Also no one is sure if this killer is male or female. (They somehow manage to not even entertain the idea that any of the victims might have been gay, which I thought was an impressive feat of elephant avoidance.)

ANYWAY. Their investigation leads them to Massachusetts, where a bunch of sci-fi not-Amish people are chilling out doing not-Amish people things. Stuff kind of just snowballs from there. Mulder jumps down into the not-Amish people's ritual cellar with no backup and then proceeds to reprimand Scully for being reckless; Scully (for the first, but unfortunately not last time) almost bangs someone bc she is being manipulated due to some supernatural phenomenon; I laugh A LOT alone in my work office bc I had forgotten the stupid twist ending; and Nicholas Lea is a starving artist who has to take the roles he's offered if he ever wants to be bumped up to recurring character status. Sigh. Hustling the club scene used to be so simple...

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes. He is fucked to death. Or something.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Yes! Of dead people! Who were fucked to death! Or something!

Does the evidence survive the investigation: The evidence doesn't even stay on this planet.

Whodunit: A horny alien cosplaying as a gender fluid Amish person. No, seriously.

Convictions: Zip.

Did they solve it: No. This is my very first explicit no with no qualifiers. They 1. did not figure out the cause of death definitively, 2. did not apprehend the suspect, 3. lost literally all of their evidence, and 4. the government wasn't even hiding anything this time, they just got outsmarted by some horny aliens and were left with nothing. In fact, I bet they actually know less now than when they started. Failure from top to bottom, guys, good work.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

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Get clenchin'!

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 6 (streak ended. brutally)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, it's me" phone calls: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 4 (upped it another half point, bc i don't thiiiink the guy coercing her intended to put her life in danger. he just ("just") wanted to sexually assault her, but also apparently fucking those guys kills you, so. another toss up)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 8 (for an episode that was meant to have a "sexy edge," it was deeply unhorny all around, even between our good good coworkers. they should have brought back that horny fire expert from episode 12 to bring up the heat, pun not intended)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 5

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2 (when i made that stat, part of me was like "mb i am misremembering how often that happens, and it won't even come up that much," and then it happened in the very next episode)

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2 (don't touch and sniff the weird alien goo wall??? i know for a FACT you keep rubber gloves in your pocket)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: still 0, but like, uh... definitely the closest we've come so far

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 4 ½ (yeah i couldn't even pretend that i paid attention)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2 (i didn't need to, but i did read the wikipedia page anyway just out of pure curiosity, bc why did they write that episode? i mean like, i was entertained, which ig makes it a win, but also just... why?)

[n1ghtman]

can we get some closeted mac smut? Like season one himbo mac, literally any context will do !!

CLOSETED MAC

summary: more rambling than a coherent fic, what it’s like to get with closeted mac

pairing: mac mcdonald x non-woman! reader

cws: reader’s gender isn’t exactly specified other than they aren’t a woman (inclusive to non-binary folks), reader’s genitalia also isn’t specified, hookups, non-established relationship, but established friendship sort of, toxic, mac is so horny that he should be put down, season one mac so his hair is still nice, reader is basically mac’s gay awakening, drunk sex, reader is much more comfortable in their sexuality than mac

wc: about 1k

reblogs are appreciated!

mac has never had much of a reason to question his sexuality. sure, he admires the male form and craves male validation more than anything, but he’s always gotten with women. that’s just… how it went, really. he didn’t think too much on it, including his general disinterest in anything other than just emptying his balls when it came to girls. he found women irritating and hardly attractive, aside from, uh, you know… the stuff he’s supposed to like. you know, big tits, tight tops, whatever.

it really shouldn’t have been such a surprise to him when he felt a certain type of way when he met you. for the first night, and the next while, he felt like a teenager again — giddy, tripping over his own two feet, and often finding himself having to readjust his pants. at first, he didn’t think much of it; you were cool, he wanted to impress you. he wanted to be friends. bros. pals… he just struggled to get why he felt so *nervous, and how much he liked just looking at you.

the first time you two slept together, both of you were drunk. it was a nighttime blur, the lights of the bar somehow turning into the lights of an apartment. all either of you really remember are the messy, heated kisses, desperate touches and moaning — being intertwined, and grasping to be even closer. you woke up first the next morning; you weren’t entirely sure what happened, but being naked under the sheets with mac lightly snoring besides you told you enough. that was the most peaceful you had ever seen him.

things were incredibly awkward once mac woke up. as he realized what went down between you two last night, his jaw dropped — for a solid minute or two, all that managed to come out of his mouth were vague noises of shock. he looked like a fish out of water, really, before he finally got the idea to scramble out of bed and snatch his boxes off the floor. he insisted that you two didn’t have sex — or, even if you did, which, god forbid… both of you were just insanely drunk. which meant that it meant nothing — a mistake at best. you can only watch with a raised brow and slightly unimpressed look as he clumsily tugs his pants on. this reaction didn’t totally surprise you. after all, you had heard various of mac’s homophobic comments and jokes.

you might have expected things to end there, with mac leaving your apartment in a rush. mac could only *hope that things would end there. on the way back to the bar, his heart was pounding in his chest. he would have just gone home, but, even one question from dennis about where mac had been the night before probably would have sent him over the edge. mac found himself oddly productive that day, desperate to will away his curious mind — the one that couldn’t help but try and put together the pieces of last night. as much as he tried to shoo the thoughts away, they just kept coming back.

the next time mac sees you, he has to desperately try and will away an erection. he can feel the sweat forming in his palms, and he feels like a total idiot in front of you. it doesn’t help that you hardly seem bothered — a little concerned and slightly amused, perhaps, but you were by no means as graceless as him.

he wasn’t sure how, but he found himself going home with you again. while not quite sober, neither of you were piss drunk by any means; when you point this out, mac tries to form an argument, but he can’t. and so, he just presses a heated, open mouthed kiss to your lips. and that’s how it went, really — you didn’t talk about it. there wasn’t much point to it. actions spoke louder than words, anyways, right? that might explain how quickly he got off, how a few touches from you were enough to make him cream his pants; how he got hard again just minutes after; how clingy he began to get; how much he insisted on putting his lips on you, touching anywhere and everywhere you’d let him; how he’d grip your hips like he wanted to nail his hands to them.

sleeping with closeted mac means never showing any form of PDA, of any sort. even friendly affections made him nervous. all his friends could tell what was going on, but mac thought they didn’t have a clue — and he wanted to keep it that way. he started to carry around one of those pocket sized bibles. any attempts you make to have a conversation about it, he shoots down — most of his excuses make no sense, but he rambles until you couldn’t possibly come up with a response.

funnily enough, though, the reason his friends can tell is because of him. if they ever confronted him, he’d blame you, but in reality, it’s him who slips up. it’s him who grins nonstop around you, who wraps an affectionate arm around your shoulders, who practically giggles at your jokes. it’s all him. the only way you could get him to even consider labeling anything would be by giving him an ultimatum. is it a bit toxic? sure, but compared to *his shit, it’s practically angelic.

[hawkinsbnbg]

Steve's first thought when he discovered bisexuality wasn't "Oh, so there's a name for me, I'm not alone", it was "What a relief that I can still like girls" instead.

Don't get him wrong, he wasn't against being gay, it was just that girls were always an easier option for him.

He didn't need to pretend because he did like girls, like how soft and nice-smelling they were, like how they nestled in his arms and let him protect them.

But he also liked how tough and masculine-smelling boys were, like how they roughhoused and overpowered him whenever they wanted to.

He liked both and somehow, he was afraid ashamed to admit so.

Thus, while he would go out with girls and hook up with them, he would jerk off to photos of naked men on his phone when he was alone and fantasized about being pinned beneath them.

And yet, those masturbations remained as his guilty pleasure. A scandalous thing that was never allowed to see the sunlight.

Steve knew nothing was wrong with him liking boys, the world had started becoming kinder and more accepting.

But it was also difficult letting himself become the one thing that he had been taught was bad growing up.

His worldview didn't quite shatter when he first had a wet dream about one of the boys in his class, but it was a close thing.

It had made Steve dizzy and nauseous, causing him to almost have a panic attack when he thought it was over for him.

That was why he had spent his high school years sleeping around, hoping to cure himself.

It was until he met Robin that his eyes were opened.

Learning about bisexuality had finally set his mind at peace and he could never thank his best friend enough for saving him from his inner turmoil.

Still, Steve always had this secret fear that no one knew about, even Robin. But he had a suspicion that she already did and was just waiting for him to confide in her.

Thing was, Steve always wondered what he would do if the love of his life was a 'he' and not a 'she'.

Would he be brave enough to love 'him'? Or would he continue denying his feelings and stay single and unhappy for the rest of his life?

As Steve was still struggling with those questions, Eddie Munson had swept into his life like a storm.

The man took nobody's shit and was unapologetic when he told people his opinions.

He was weird and funny but also kind and a romantic at heart.

He always listened to Steve, took Steve seriously, and offered Steve comfort.

He made Steve laugh, made Steve forget all about the bad things, and made Steve float with happiness.

He was everything Steve could ever ask for in a partner.

Except, Eddie Munson was a 'he'.

And never once in his life Steve had wished to be a girl so bad.

Because if he was a girl, he could be together with Eddie without fearing his parents' disappointment or the pity and disdain people would throw his way once they knew he wasn't straight.

Nonetheless, all of that couldn't compare to his fear of losing Eddie.

Every day, the fear got worse until Steve just broke down and started bawling his eyes out in his bathroom at three in the morning because he missed Eddie so much.

After crying his heart out, he decided to just up and go to Eddie.

The older man had taken one look at him before carefully pulling him inside his apartment and wrapping him in his steady arms.

"Eddie," he sobbed, unable to keep his emotions at bay.

"I'm here, sweetheart," Eddie combed his hair gently and swayed them both slowly. "I'm here."

Everything kind of went hazy after that for Steve and when he woke up again, he found himself being tucked safely in Eddie's chest.

Somehow, the easy intimacy between them just broke something inside Steve.

He didn't know he was crying again until he heard Eddie's worried voice above him.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt somewhere, Steve?" Eddie had pulled back to get a better look at him.

"Nothing, I... I'm just scared," Steve sniffled.

"Oh," Eddie's face softened and the man started stroking his back soothingly. "What are you scared of, Stevie?"

"You," Steve admitted.

"Me?" Hurt flashed across Eddie's eyes.

"Yeah," Steve closed his eyes and dug the heel of his palm into his eyelid as he choked out. "I'm scared that I love you," his lips wobbled again, "So much, too much."

A tense silence blanketed them and Steve kept breathing shakily. He didn't dare to open his eyes not even when Eddie shifted and cradled his face softly.

"Me too," Eddie whispered. "I'm scared too."

That made Steve's eyes fly open in surprise, "Was that why you never said anything?"

"Yes and no," Eddie smiled sadly at him. "I'm always scared but never was I more scared of anything than losing you, sweetheart. I never said anything because I was afraid that I'd ruin our friendship with my stupid feelings."

"What should I do?" Steve leaned into the older man's touch and watched those dark eyes reflect his image. They were shining with many unsaid things and he wished he could keep them all to himself.

"I can't say anything for you, darlin'," Eddie caressed his cheek tenderly. "But we can be scared together if you accept me. Accept us."

Steve parted his lips to say it, but all the words just stuck in his throat and choked him with their thorns.

Eddie seemed to understand him nonetheless because the older man just gave him another sad smile before leaning closer until their lips met in a soft kiss.

"I love you," Steve murmured when they finally parted, his pointer finger tracing the line on Eddie's jaw.

"Love you too, my sweet boy," Eddie kissed his forehead and held him close again.

After that night, they had been inseparable. Despite their relationship staying secret, they had announced it to their close friends and Eddie's uncle.

Though the fear was still there and Steve might never be ready to accept himself, he felt better with Eddie by his side, always understanding and loving him unconditionally.

And Steve just knew he would be alright. They would be alright.

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 5) Chapter Eleven

Father Figure! Lucifer Morningstar x Teen! Reader

Demon! OC x Reader

Chapter Eleven: That was the Most Mature Advice You’ve Ever Given Me

Summary: Lucifer gets and, surprisingly, gives good relationship advice.

            “So you woke up with Chloe—congrats by the way—and now you can’t use your mojo?” said (Y/N), tilting their head.

            Poor Lucifer’s power had been “stolen” by Chloe after they finally, finally, worked things out and got into a proper relationship. Now, (Y/N) was very proud of Lucifer, but they also weren’t surprised that somehow things had already hit a roadblock since Celestials were apparently terrible about understanding when they were self-actualizing or whatever.

            Also, (Y/N) wanted to bang their head against a wall because everyone was getting into a successful relationship except for them since the world seemed determined to interfere with them and Em. Marcel and Leon? Easy. Noa and Olive? Took a bit to get going but happened. Chloe and Lucifer? So many problems but they were together.

            (Y/N) and Em? (Y/N) wasn’t sure, but maybe God was against them having a love life.

            Still, their own gay pining wasn’t going to stop them from helping out Lucifer where they could. They wanted their dad and Chloe to have a good relationship. They would be good for each other.

            “Yes. She can ask people what they desire, and I can’t,” sighed Lucifer. “It worked on me!”

            “I think that’s hilarious,” said (Y/N), grinning.

            “But…But what if I’ve become powerless?” said Lucifer. “Then I can’t help her, and I can’t protect you.”

            (Y/N)’s heart thumped at the kindness of their dad. “I’m not worried about that.” They smiled. “And if I’m honest, I think it’s just you deciding to be vulnerable around Chloe. You’re willing to share your true desires with her because you feel comfortable with her.”

            “…What about the other people she asked?” said Lucifer hesitantly.

            (Y/N) rolled their eyes. “It was one person, and one person might just be nervous or something,” they said. “I don’t think humans can steal Celestial power. This is just you getting nervous about being vulnerable.” They smiled. “Relax.”

            Lucifer took a deep breath. “Yes. Yes, you’re right.” He looked at (Y/N). “I’m sorry you always have to remind me of these things.”

            (Y/N) shrugged. “I don’t mind.” They shifted. “But, uh, I wouldn’t mind some advice.”

            “Advice?” asked Lucifer. “About what?”

            “Dating. Relationships,” said (Y/N).

            Lucifer froze. “…Has someone asked you out?”

            “Well, no, but I want to ask someone out,” said (Y/N). “And I don’t know how to do it.”

            “Are they even worthy of you?” said Lucifer instantly. “Do they treat you well? You’re Celestial, literally royalty, and I don’t want anyone who doesn’t treat you well going out with you!”

            (Y/N) rolled their eyes and turned bright red. “Dad! It’s not that serious!”

            “Your first relationship.” Lucifer began to pace. “I mean, I’m happy for you, but I can’t believe it! I’m not prepared at all. How are dads supposed to act about dating? Should I be against it? For it?”

            “How about you just support me and give me some helpful advice?” suggested (Y/N).

            “Who is it?” said Lucifer, eagerly turning towards them.

            “…Em,” said (Y/N).

            “Emeranne?” Lucifer blinked. The young demon was (Y/N)’s age, and they’d known each other for years now, but if he remembered correctly, they had started out not getting along. “When did—how—huh?”

            “I don’t know,” said (Y/N), shrugging. “It just kind of…happened. I became their friend, her best friend, and now I really like her. I want to ask them out.”

            “…Okay,” said Lucifer.

            He could approve of Em. He knew they would never hurt (Y/N). In fact, she was more loyal to (Y/N) than she was Lucifer, King of Hell. They would treat (Y/N) the way they deserved. Plus, they were also non-human, so she could understand that aspect of life, too.

            “You approve?” said (Y/N), surprised but pleased.

            “Emeranne is a good choice,” said Lucifer, nodding. He smiled. “And they will treat you how you deserved to be treated.”

            (Y/N) relaxed. They were glad Lucifer would support their relationship, if it ever happened. “Yeah. I know they will. And I want to treat them well.” They cleared their throat. “But, uh, I don’t know how to ask someone out.”

            “…I’m not great at it,” admitted Lucifer.

            “Yeah, but you and Chloe are dating,” pointed out (Y/N). “I just need a little help about how to not be…nervous about this.”

            Lucifer smiled and held (Y/N)’s shoulders. “(Y/N), you are a good person. You’re helpful and strong and kind. Anyone would be lucky to date you. Em knows who you are. You just need to be honest and trust in yourself.” He hugged them. “And if it doesn’t work out, there will be someone else.”

            (Y/N) let out a nervous laugh and hugged Lucifer back. “That was the most mature advice you’ve ever given me.”

            “Don’t talk to your father that way,” teased Lucifer.

            (Y/N) laughed, and Lucifer smiled at seeing their nerves abate.

            “And although you protect so many people, I’m here for you when you need it. Even if I am a mess,” said Lucifer softly.

            (Y/N) hugged him tightly. “I know, Dad. I know.” They could count on him. They were incredibly lucky and happy to have him. After so many years of being with biological parents that didn’t support who they were, (Y/N) had Lucifer. They had a good dad.

l

            “I got your text, Maze,” said Em, walking into the empty Lux. “What’s the matter…” She trailed off as she saw Maze holding a drink in her hand and wearing an old, demonic outfit. A demon blade rested on the counter. “Maze? What’s that doing out?”

            Maze huffed and downed her drink. “I wanted a fight.”

            Em raised their hands. “Yeah, I’m not interested.”

            Maze scoffed. “I know that. You don’t fight because (Y/N) would get mad at you.”

            “Well, they can kick my ass, so it’s a pretty good idea to listen to them,” said Em brightly.

            Maze rolled her eyes. “You’re soft.”

            “I’m not going to take that to heart because you don’t look like you’re doing well,” said Em, sitting down next to Maze. “What’s up?”

            “Amenadiel didn’t want to fight me, so now I’m more pissed than usual,” said Maze.

            Em gave Maze a look. “I know that you’re upset about something, and it has to be from before Amenadiel didn’t want to fight you. I mean, no one just tries to fight Celestials.”

            “He’s a good fight, and then he’s a good f—”

            “Don’t finish that sentence,” said Em, making a face. “You’re just avoiding the question.”

            Maze groaned and just poured herself another drink. “How do you do it?”

            “What?” said Em.

            “Act so…human,” said Maze. “Doing this ‘feelings’ thing.”

            “I’m not acting human,” said Em. “I’m just acting like myself.”

            Maze scoffed. “I don’t believe that. I mean, you act like you like being on Earth. We’re demons. We’re not made for that.”

            “I like being here, actually,” said Em.

            Maze froze. “You…You do?”

            “Yeah,” said Em. They looked at Maze. “Do you not?”

            “I don’t belong here,” said Maze. “I just don’t. I’m not like humans.”

            “Humans don’t actually care,” said Em.

            Scoffing, Maze glared at them. “Yes, they do. So then I just have to be alone.”

            “You have Linda. And Ella. And Chloe. And even Dan,” pointed out Em.

            “They don’t really like me,” said Maze.

            Em let out a loud laugh, and Maze looked at her in surprise.

            “Maze, you’re a personality,” said Em. “And I can assure you, if they didn’t actually like you, they wouldn’t hang out with you.”

            “…You really think so?” said Maze, dubious.

            “Yeah,” said Em. She smiled. “And I like you. So just…focus on that. Having fun with friends helps make Earth fun.” They chuckled. “If I had to guess, it’s probably the same for humans.”

            “I doubt you’re right, but I’m desperate, so I guess I’ll give it a try,” grumbled Maze.

            “Right,” said Em, rolling her eyes.

l

            “Hey, Em,” said (Y/N), walking into her room.

            “Oh, hey, Birdie,” said Em, taking off their headphones and letting them hang around her neck. “What’s up?”

            “I saved my dad and Chloe’s relationship,” said (Y/N), sitting down on Em’s bed.

            “Really?” laughed Em.

            “Yeah, just had to remind my dad that he self-actualizes again,” said (Y/N). They rolled their eyes fondly. “He’ll get it eventually.”

            “Especially if you keep drilling it into him,” teased Em. “You’re a tough one.”

            “Someone has to be,” said (Y/N), leaning back. “But anyways, what have you been up to?”

            “I talked to Maze,” said Em. “She just needed some advice on making friends on Earth.”

            “Celestials are bad at social cues and relationships, aren’t they?” said (Y/N), chuckling.

            “We’re not exactly ones to talk,” said Em wryly.

            “Maybe not, but at least I’m straightforward,” said (Y/N). “I handle myself and my situations.” They sat up and looked at Em. “Actually…that’s what I wanted to talk about.”

            Em froze, and nervousness raced through them. Was (Y/N) going to address the strangely intimate moments they’d been having? Fear clutched their heart. Were they going to tell Em they didn’t like it? Excitement pulsed through them. Or were they going to tell Em they liked them?

            Em swallowed and tried to compose herself. “Oh? What about?” They tried to seem nonchalant, but her voice cracked nervously.

            “Us,” said (Y/N), getting straight to the point. They squared their shoulders and looked at Em. “Listen, Em, I don’t know if I’ve been imagining it or if it’s just been the heat of the moment, but you and I…there’s been something going on. And I just want to be honest and say that I like it. I like you. A lot. Like, in the romantic sense.”

            Em stared at (Y/N) as their cheeks turned pink and her heartbeat raced. “You…you really like me?”

            (Y/N) nodded and smiled. “Yeah. I do. And I just want to be honest. You deserve to know how I feel.”

            Em reached out and took (Y/N)’s hand. “You deserve the same.” She grinned. “And Birdie, I really like you too.”

            (Y/N) felt a large smile spread across their face. “Would you want to go to prom with me, then? As a date?”

            “I would,” said Em, still grinning like an idiot. They moved closer and swallowed nervously. “Can I…Can I kiss you, Birdie?”

            Heat rushed to (Y/N)’s cheeks, but they giddily nodded. “Yeah. You can.”

            Em leaned in, and (Y/N) leaned in. Nervously, Em and (Y/N) kiss. They pulled back almost instantly afterwards, way too nervous since that was both of their first kisses.

            “Was that, uh, okay?” said Em.

            “Yeah,” said (Y/N), smiling shyly. “It was.”

            Em smiled back. “I’m glad.”

l

            (Y/N) felt light as a feather as they ran upstairs to tell Lucifer that they had confessed to Em and it had gone fantastically—they had a date to the prom they had a date with Em they had a date with Em holy shit!

            “Hey, Dad!” said (Y/N), rounding the corner. They slowed as they saw Chloe standing with Lucifer on the terrace. “Oh, uh, sorry to interrupt.”

            “Oh, no, it’s alright, (Y/N),” said Chloe, smiling. She understood as a coparent of Trixie that parents needed to prioritize their kids, so she wasn’t going to interrupt (Y/N) looking for Lucifer.

            “(Y/N), is everything alright?” asked Lucifer, instantly on the attack in case (Y/N) was in danger or needed help.

            “Oh, yeah,” said (Y/N) quickly. “I just wanted to let you that I took your advice, and it…it went well.” They smiled.

            Lucifer grinned. “I’m glad!” He hugged them. “I’m so proud of you.”

            “Something good happened?” said Chloe, smiling.

            “Uh, yeah, I managed to ask someone out,” said (Y/N), smiling nervously.

            Chloe smiled softly. “Emeranne, right?”

            (Y/N) froze. “Was it that obvious?”

            “Yes,” said Chloe, chuckling.

            “It wasn’t to me,” said Lucifer, blinking.

            “Well, you’re not the most observant,” said (Y/N), and Chloe laughed.

            “Oh, dear, I don’t like the two of you getting along,” said Lucifer, making a face.

            “Get used to it,” teased (Y/N). “If Chloe’s going to be around more, then we’re going to be teaming up more.”

            “That’s very unfair,” sighed Lucifer.

            “Someone has to help (Y/N) keep you in line,” laughed Chloe.

            The three chuckled and stood side-by-side, almost like a little family.

            Ding!

            The penthouse elevator doors opened, and they all turned to see Dan, looking very fragile, stepping out.

            “Dearie me,” said Lucifer, laughing. “Still suffering with a bout of the old trotskies, are we?” He took a friendly step towards Dan.

            Dan reached into his pocket and drew his gun. Chloe and (Y/N) froze, and (Y/N) tensed. The shadows around their feet swirled angrily.

            “I was only joking, Daniel,” said Lucifer, frowning.

            “Dad…” said (Y/N) worriedly. “Please step back.”

            “Dan? What are you doing?” said Chloe, staring in fear at the gun.

            Dan swallowed and tried not to look at her or (Y/N) as he focused on Lucifer.

            Bang!

            “No!”

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

@ceridwyn3

@technikerin23

@poetoflawed

@slytherinroyalty16

@ilse235

@theurbannoodle

@lookitseddie

@amberforest08

[disc4rain]

A Gross Invasion of Privacy

Or: how I lost access to my caregiver

I'm disabled and need a caregiver to handle everyday chores. Where I live, that type of help is provided by the state and is a basic right for people who reach a certain disability threshold (aka: me).

I recently moved and had to register for a new caregiver, which took a couple months. I live in a less populated area now so it's fair, they don't have a big office with people at the ready.

I also have a boyfriend but we don't live together and he can't help me outside of weekends. That will become relevant later.

CW: mentions of sexual intimacy and kinks

Turns out my boyfriend and I like to do some kinky stuff in the bedroom, and since I live alone due to my disabilities, my place is where it all happens. (I swear this is relevant.)

While sex toys need to be cleaned and put away after use, some things like bondage accessories don't typically get dirty. And sometimes, putting them away is a waste of time.

I have a bondage thing in-between my bed and mattress, and I never remove it because a) it doesn't get dirty, b) it's a pain to set up and I'm too physically handicapped to handle it, and c) it's virtually invisible unless you're making the bed.

I also have drawers with bondage and sex-related things in my bedroom, but most of it is organized in non-descript boxes within those drawers.

All this to say: my bedroom doesn't look like a BDSM dungeon.

Even then, I asked my caregiver not to touch the bedroom at all. It's in her contract, pretty much all her tasks have a mention like "except the bedroom."

She met my boyfriend when she first came in, and I told her he'd help out on the weekends and with certain tasks. He also takes care of cleaning the bedroom. She joked about her girlfriend being the one doing the cleaning at home, because cleaning her home feels like work to her. The way she said it was a bit awkward but like "hey, I'm gay too, no judgement here" which was good news.

I recently had to take more powerful medication because my health got worse, and I've been very sleepy pretty much all the time due to that. So one day, my caregiver was cleaning up the kitchen area and I was pretty much nodding off on the couch. She told me not to worry, she could finish up and leave even if I fell asleep, so I did.

I woke up after she left because my neck hurt and figured I'd go rest in my bed. I went to my room and immediately noticed the bondage accessory between my bed and mattress was visible, and my blanket was tucked in (which never happens).

Several things on the shelves had been moved around, and most importantly, some of the boxes in my drawers had been opened and not closed properly.

Having a caregiver is hard to accept, because you have to trust someone else with your body, your hygiene, your home, and so much more. Knowing she went into my bedroom when she wasn't supposed to and found out everything there was to find about the last bit of intimacy I felt I had left was a horrible feeling.

I didn't do anything about it because I didn't know how to react. I just kept to myself and refused to do anything sexual after that. It felt tainted, somehow. I felt like an exposed freak, even though I'd done nothing wrong (my bedroom was off-limits, and it looks normal unless you make an effort to look deeper).

My caregiver didn't show up after that, so I called the administration and it took a couple weeks before I got an answer. They sent me a mail which roughly translates to:

"Sir,

Miss [caregiver] no longer wishes to work with you due to the incident on [date at which she went in my room].

We respectfully remind you that our employees must be treated with respect and not exposed to any obscene behavior.

We strongly suggest you find a caretaker more adapted to your needs and behaviors."

I don't know what the fuck she told them but they won't send anyone over to my place. I can't afford a private caregiver so I'm fucked.

I don't want to explain myself to them, I'm obviously fine with telling them my caregiver got into my room when she didn't have to, but I don't want to tell them she found my bondage stuff and the box where I keep my sex toys. I don't want to explain that to anyone except the internet I guess. I don't want my face associated in their minds with the kind of thing I do in the bedroom.

I'm not gonna sacrifice my dignity like that, god knows I've compromised with it too much already. I can't live on my own, I can't work, I can't vote, dignity is maybe the only thing I have left and I'm not compromising on it. It's gonna sound stupid but I would rather die or get sicker than humiliate myself in front of these people.

[tailsbeth-writes]

Finally getting round to this! Thank you for the tags @run-for-chamo-miles @seths-rogens @thighzp & @emmalostinwonderland 🫶🏻

RULES: post the first lines of your last 10 fics/chapters posted on AO3 (if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics) and try to draw some conclusions

These are all RWRB fics ❤️🤍👑💙

First Lines:

I’ve missed this, I actually felt all warm and fuzzy when I opened up the email window. - Digital Love Letters

It was an accepted truth that Alex’s brain could be silenced by two things: Henry's lips on his and physical activity (which sometimes included Henry if he was lucky). - I could speak (or just let my body explain) - Collab with @run-for-chamo-miles so this is not the first line but it is mine.

Alex is annoyed at Henry. - You're going to be the death of me, babygirl.

‘Pez is wondering if we've decided on costumes for his party[...]' - Ain't it fun to hold the world in your hands?

Alex hadn't felt right since he woke up. - it's still reserved for me

Alex is seeing red. - i try hard to get back inside your arms alive

‘Baby, you're going to lose your gorgeous gay mind.’ - Mary & George & Henry

'Shaan, can you please put an appointment in my diary?' - Her Royal Highness

He was going to kill Alex. - Alex Vs Goodreads Trolls

Henry had made his royal ancestors proud and truly indulged. - a frightening magic I cling to

Analysis:

Well first of all, I like to put Alex through it apparently! Poor guy, I swear all my fics put that right and Henry gives him a cuddle at some point.

I'm a sucker for an in media res start, starting with dialogue is something that I got into at uni. If you're ever struggling with the start of your fic, cut off the top chunk and start mid action. Works almost every time!

I think number 2 is my fave, somehow managing to get a Pride and Prejudice reference in, even on an Alex POV. I do have plans for more Henry, so many WIPs...

Tag You're It: @onthewaytosomewhere @taste-thewaste @myheartalivewrites @duchessdepolignaca03 @suseagull04 @luainthewild @thesleepyskipper @sophie1973 @miss-minnelli @littlemisskittentoes & open tag as usual 🥰

[la-principessa-nuova]

omigodomigodomigod

I did not expect this to be how my day went. I wasn’t even sure I was going to leave home today, but I ended up coming out of more than just my house.

For a few years, my mom and my sister have been pressuring me to open up more about my feelings, and mostly they just wanted to know about why i was bothered by talking about my dating life (or the lack thereof) and stuff like that.

Lately they started to get the vibe that there was something big I wasn’t telling them, and I just dodged questions because I’m bad at lying about serious things.

So today since the three of us had work off, I went to my parents house my sister went and they went in the pool and we talked a lot and whatever. But my sister ended up drinking a lot (which she never does), and was really focused on getting me to open up and talk about whatever I haven’t been sharing, and weirdly instead of shutting down completely or melting down I just like tried dodging questions like normal.

She asked if I was gay and if i was trans multiple times (while my dad was either inside while we were outside or asleep on the couch) and I lied and said no, but I clearly was lying because I hesitated so much.

But I kind of wanted to tell them, but I was hesitant in case my dad woke up and because I had some worries about their ability to tell no one.

But eventually we went to my house and then eventually I got to the point where I wanted to tell them, but it just didn’t feel like “the moment”, like I was put on the spot and under pressure to answer what my big secret is, but I couldn’t bring myself to just say it. I felt like I needed a big grand gesture or to play a song or wave a flag or something.

But then as I’m struggling to get it out and my sister’s husband was waiting for her outside, my mom asked, “are you transgender?”, and I said something about how I was struggling to say it but then said, “but yes.”

And it just didn’t feel real. Like it wasn’t me saying it, and it felt so unnatural to be serious.

And then followed hours of Q&A (my brother-in-law gave up waiting and went home), and they were clear that they will be supportive, but my mom clearly has a long way to go to actually accept it. She clearly has been seeing a lot of the anti-trans propaganda because she immediately brought up detransitioners, talking about it like it’s this big new trend of people detransitioning in droves, but I just corrected her and told her the real statistics (best I could from memory).

And then at 1 AM, we all got in my car and I drove them home, and instead of grabbing my keys and wallet out of my purse in private, I just grabbed my purse. And it is a relief that they know. Part of me wishes I could have planned something and done it more on my terms, but I probably wouldn’t have done it, especially not any time soon.

Now the hard part is figuring out how I’ll ever tell my dad. He is just so bigoted and obsessed with conformity to a made-up, more restricted definition of masculinity than even most bigots are obsessed with that he has somehow gotten ingrained in him.

But for now at least there’s only one person who doesn’t know that I have to figure out how to tell. There’s extended family, but I can cut them out no problem, because we barely talk anyway. And if people at work find out before I’m ready it will suck, but I can always change jobs if it gets that bad.

[roydeezed]

Tin Foil Hat Theory-Bonney is a Clone

Bonney is dead, Long Live Bonney!

In where the original Bonney is dead, this Bonney is a clone with Bucaneer Blood, Kuma transferred her memories and as a result, her soul into the new body and also Weevil is a clone. Pretty much covers it. :)

Ok so I woke up in the middle of the night with one thought in my head, which was, Bonney is a clone. Let no one accuse me of not loving One Piece enough. I don't know if this is a thoery out there or not, and if it is, sorry for biting whoever's it was first. Also this could totally not happen, not beholden to it at all but there's a lot of things that stick out to me.

You might think that after the newest chapter, it's pretty much confirmed that Bonney isn't a Buccaneer by blood. And that we've seen Kuma suffer enough. I say nay, because Oda has laid out a very specific trail of breadcrumbs. Let's follow it.

First things first, Bonney's about to die. Either from Sapphire Poisoning or King Becori's return and maybe another culling game. Whatever the case, she's popping death flags left and right. Next, she is consistently shown to be around the Straw Hats Age, around 19 or so even though she's supposed to be around 12. Now, her fruit could take care of both of those issues, with her constantly shifting to an older age to bypass the poisoning but let's just assume that's not the case for the sake of the argument. Mainly cause of this:

In where Bonney transforms into a Buccaneer type version of herself. Now, considering it's called Distorted Future, it could be an alternate timeline version of her that she conceptually tapped into somehow. I could accept that explanation if this wasn't Chapter 1072, which literally on the page before this, had this to say.

Now, we assume that this was about Miss Buckingham Stussy as it shows her at the end of the chapter.

But it says the first successful Clone Experiment. It could say the first because of the Seraphim's being other successful clones, but knowing Vegapunk's perfectionism and his ridiculously high bar for things, could it possibly point to other one to one clones?

Such as Bonney?

Might be a stretch but I can't shake the feeling that all these disparate things Oda has shown us all add up. Also sandwhiched between two chapters that discuss cloning and memories, we get a glimpse at this guy-

Who Stussy adamantly states is Whitebeards son. A Whitebeard who Marco staunchly believes is not the father. Many have speculated Whitebeard to be gay to add even more credibility to Marco's position. But then how is Weevil so strong? Well, Vegapunk did get Stussy's DNA, and we did see how Bakkin tried to hang on to Whitebeard in the past. Maybe it was an exchange? In return for her cooperation, maybe Bakkin got the son she never could with Whitebeard.

Now if we assume this premise to be true, we also have to question why it was shoehorned in that bluntly? We all know that Oda like to repeat and layer. So why then would that be in this chain of events?

Because it's a question of what it is to be alive. That's what all these different people have in common. Kuma, Stussy, Weevil. They're living beings and others argue against thier very existence. It gets brought up in God Valley and in Kuma's backstory and in Kuma all throughout his life. From Slave to Outlaw to Robot. He's always been alive but people have debated the value of that. With what I believe Oda is doing with Bonney, I think he's saying that it doesn't matter who or what we are, as long as we're alive. Even Vegapunk with his satelites feeds into this.

And Vegapunk feeds into this another way as well.

Here he discusses what a soul is. Basically, it's tied to memories. So if memories were transferred, the soul would go with it. Here we see Kuma staunchly against this, but later we see Bonney mention that she knows that the giant paw in Egghead are Kuma's Memories.

So how does she know that? And why is Vegapunk so insistent on her not finding out?

I don't think it's just because she's a child and it would be hard for her. I also think Kuma losing his free will had something to do with it. Vegapunk probably did an exchange with Bakkin. What if he did the same with Kuma? What if Kuma losing his memories wasn't just about Ginny's death but also to forget his daughter's death?

So here's where it all comes together. I think the Bonney is going to become exposed to the light soon. Maybe Becori burns down the church. And as she dies, he extracts her memories. That could be where she knows that this specific bubble contains memories, she saw it done to herself. And in his pain, Kuma takes it upon himself to forget. And in exchange for bringing her back to life, he becomes the slave of the Celestial Dragons. But when Vegapunk makes her clone, he also puts Kuma's dna in her, thus allowing the strength we saw from "distorted future". The fate that Vegapunk is trying to save Bonney from is to stop her learning that she isn't the original Bonney. She was made in a lab and then her memories were implanted in her. This could lead to the very real possibility that Kuma suffers more in that he doesn't know this version of his daughter. The daughter that's alive.

A little disjointed but I hope I made the point I was trying to make. I don't think Kuma's suffering is over. He's very biblical in his suffering and it would be that cruel ironic twist of fate to see his daughter die from what his god is supposed to be, the sun. Nika is the sun god and Bonney can die from the sun's rays. And him not seeing her would add on to his suffering. So yeah, if all of these disparate pieces match up in the way I think they do then we could be in store for more tears. Happy crying everybody!

[foxydivaxx]

Gossip Girl AU Prequel: Z After Dark Chapter 3

A Gossip Girl story ain't a Gossip Girl story without Gossip Girl herself showing up. So this is Gossip Girl's first recorded appearance in-universe. Warnings: sexual content, alcohol

This just in!! Mihawk Dracule has filed from divorce from Terra Roronoa!! As if that ain't enough, Arashi, Zs father has filed for divorce as well. Apparently, the guy filed for divorce but somehow the woman blocked it.

Great news for Z, his new music has been widely acclaimed. Now the question remains, what is Z's next move? Watch this space because things are about to get heated as the summer holidays come to a close.

And who am I? That's one secret I will never tell.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

Zoro wakes up screaming and panicking. “Baby what’s wrong?” Sanji asks groggily as Zoro’s screams woke him up. The greenette begins to pant, gasping for air as fear begins to paralysed him. He was having yet another nightmare relating to his mum and her abuse. This one involved his mother beating and kicking him repeatedly several times. This was why he asked Sanji to stay with him.

Sanji looked at him with deep concern and cups his face in his hands. “It’s okay, baby. That woman is not here and if she dares lay a hand on you, we will make her pay.”

He then hugs Zoro who simply hugs him back, tears flowing down his eyes. His childhood robbed, his identity stolen. All he ever is is a broken boy. That little boy that used to be there died the moment that woman began her work on him.

"I...I....I don't deserve this. All this fame. All this love. Everything." Sanji hugs Zoro tight and kisses his forehead. "You are wrong Marimo. You deserve everything and much more."

The greenette could only nod whilst Sanji continues to cuddle him. Sanji can understand how it feels to be in Zoro's shoes better than anyone. He is the son of Sora who is the Queen of Pop. Imagine the big shoes he and his siblings have to fill. Plus the fact that their father, rapper Judge Vinsmoke is a deadbeat dad and an abusive bastard at that, then you have traumatized kids.

"Remember when we first met?

Sanji grins. "You made fun of my brows and called me Curly and I fired back and called you Marimo because of your hair and we had a nasty argument that day."

They both laughed. "I believe we were 6 year olds then." says Zoro. "Yeah. I think so. The fact that we are still together is funny. I mean, everyone thought we hated each other till one day out of the blue, I called you my husband."

Sanji falls over laughing. "I still can't believe you fucking said that!!"

"Got jealous because Maria kissed you." Sanji just giggles. "Jesus fucking Christ!! So that was why you pulled me away from her?!" Sanji asked. Zoro nods.

"I envied Sukuna because that bitch had rizz back then. Still fucking does. I even thought he was gonna steal you from me." Zoro admits. "So that is why you even act bitchy towards him huh?"

"That plus that was why I lost my virginity at that gay bar in Italy to Griffith. You know? That rich guy I met at the club there. He was my boyfriend for like 3 months then."

Sanji gasps. Everyone knows the Griffith story but not the full details. He never knew how wild Zoro was back then. Considering he himself did similar shit, like hello he worked at a strip club at the time so he knows the drill. But damn. "Dude!! How did you fucking sneak into a fucking gay bar?! Like you were fucking 13 then!!"

"Perona helped. That is all I can say about that. Either way, the guy was quite charming and good looking."

"Yeah but not as hot as I am right?"

"Yes."

"But what made you break up with him?"

"The motherfucker cheated on me with some French model. Like the bitch used me for cheap publicity. Not helping was Sesshomaru leaking out my private details to the press around that time."

"Now I get why we never saw you in school for years."

"Either way, that is the past. You know what? Maybe I should come back to school. But before that, we should celebrate the summer. Like I wanna do fun stuff with you my buddies. I mean, can you believe that I have never chilled in the fucking pool not even once?!"

A bright idea pops up in Sanji's mind. "I think now is the time to host a pool party."

"THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!!"

"Like we can host it this weekend. Of course we will ask Mihawk for permission. Then we will invite those that we trust. Food, booze, you name it. We will sort that. And most importantly..."

Sanji rolls them aorund so that he was on top of Zoro and kisses his lips. "I will give myself to you that day. Yes Daddy, I want you to dominate me that day and fuck me silly and make me your sugar baby officially. I want you to be the King you fucking are."

Zoro was taken aback by this at first. He did not expect Sanji to be that open about it like that. Though to be frank, he and Sanji have been acting like a couple for a long time. They never brought up the sex conversation before.

"If that is what my baby wants, then I will give it to you and spoil you rotten." Sanji giggles and proceeds to make out with him.

************************************************************************

Later that weekend, all of Zoro's friends get invited to the pool party that was being hosted at Mihawk's house. The media gets wind of it of course and every single blog talks about it.

Zoro no longer gives a shit. He is all about having a great time. None of the adults are around. Well, the staff are obviously but the parents are out of town so that the kids can have their fun.

"Now this is what I'm talking about!!" says Sukuna as he sips on some beer in a plastic cup. "About time Big Z hosted us properly without a certain someone breathing down our damn necks!!" says Rukia.

Zoro snorts with laughter. His eyes then fall on Sanji who was having a chat with Nami and Gojo next to the barbecue spot. Sukuna and Eren exchange smirks.

"Are they or aren't they fucking?" Usopp asked. Everyone laughs. Sanji blushes. "OI!! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?" Zoro raises an eyebrow. "Really dude?" he says in a joking tone.

"Just what I wanna know too." Zoro rolls his eyes. Of course this motherfucker would show his dirty face at his own party. He whips around and glares daggers at a smirking Sesshomaru.

Zoro remembers the conversation he and Sanji had the night before. He no longer fears anyone anymore. "Why the fuck are you here? No one fucking invited you."

Everyone stops what they are doing and watches the drama unfold. Sesshomaru has a fake hurt expression on his face. "Oh come on!! That is no way to speak to a friend."

"You stopped being a friend the moment you leaked out my whereabouts and private information to the paparazzi and media.I also got intel that my mamma was paying you to spy on me."

Jaws drop at that revelation. "It's not what you think."

It was at this point that Zoro just explodes and goes off on him. "Or really? Oh and what about that that interview you gave where you said shit about my sex life? I get that I was underage and stuff but bitch you had no fucking right!!" Sesshomaru gets on the floor and tries to crawl away. Sanji places a hand on Zoro's shoulder. That calms him down.

"Good thing you showed your dirty face here. One less bitch left to deal with because I have already started weeding all you fake bitches out of my life which as why I never invited you!!"

He gets down on his knees, the signature Roronoa death glare in place. Compared to before, the death glare was a lot more menacing. Everyone in the room literally cowered in fear. "I suggest you and your little bitches run because if I still fucking find you bitches in here, I will not hesitate to send you bitches to hell." he says in the coldest tone he could muster.

With that, Sesshomaru and his cronies run for it. "Bet the bastard will go report to his mistress." says Sanji. "Let him. Besides, the woman has no power anymore. Either way, bae you and I got something to attend to." Zoro whispers.

Sanji grins. "Lead the way." Zoro takes Sanji's hand and pulls him away. The others snicker as they all knew what was about to happen.

Once they are in Zoro's room, Sanji locks the door behind him. Zoro grabs his lover and slams him against the wall, kissing him passionately.

Sanji lets out a moan as Zoro leaves a trail down his neck. Thankfully, they were wearing boxers which makes things easier for them. They pull down each other's boxers and move over to the bed.

Zoro crawls on top of him and stares lovingly at Sanji. "Why ain't I a lucky son of a bitch?" Sanji chuckles. "I can say the same about myself too."

The greenette gets to work and begins to kiss and bite certain parts of the blonde's skin, leaving him a moaning mess. "You are mine Sanji. Remember that." Zoro growls out. Sanji could feel his cock twitch with excitement as Zoro was now taking more control, owning his sexiness for once. He was finally maturing into the tiger that he truly was.

"Ah...Zoro...."

It seemed like the Sesshomaru incident had caused Zoro to snap as he kept on torturing Sanji but teasing him relentlessly. He spies the lube on the bedside table and grabs it. He pours a generous amount on his fingers and inserts one into Sanji's hole.

Sanji hisses in pain at first. It has been a while he has had sex. "You okay babe?" Sanji nods. "Been a while." Once he feels settled, he nods at Zoro who begins to slowly push his finger in and out of Sanji's ass.

Sanji moans in pleasure. "Fuck that feels good....." Zoro smirks and begins to get aggressive and inserts a second finger in, continue to thrust, earning more moans.

He then inserts a third one and increases his speed. "This is just the beginning bae. Once I insert my cock into you, I will make you lose your mind."

"D-DON'T TALK DIRTY LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING MOSSHEAD!!" Zoro laughs and pulls out his fingers. He then flips Sanji around so that he was on all fours. "Oh you are seriously asking for it you dirty brat!!"

He then proceeds to smack his butt real hard, earning a loud howl. Zoro continues to spank him until his asscheeks are completely red.

Sanji was happy about this. This was what he clearly wanted. He wanted Zoro to lose his mind like that and dominate him like the bad bitch that he is.

Sanji just smirks. "That all you got." Zoro raises an eyebrow. "Don't get too cocky bitch." He then spreads his ass cheeks and without warning, inserts his cock into his hole.

"AAH!!"

Zoro smirks and continues to pound into that ass without warning. "Oh my...fuck!! AH YES!! FUCK ME!! FUCK ME HARD!!" Sanji screams.

"That's it you dirty slut!! Take all of me!!" He keeps on fucking the living daylights out of him. Sanji begins to cry out some incoherent gibberish as it just feels good.

Soon, Zoro hits his prostrate which makes him see stars. "AH!! FUCK!!!" Zoro keeps on attacking that same spot, pulling Sanji back and capturing his lips in a kiss. "Fuck...I...I'm getting close." With one last final thrust, both men cum at the same time.

"Wow..." Sanji says, panting. Zoro soon pulls out and falls on the bed, chuckling. "I think I overdid it."

"Nah that felt good." Zoro helps to clean them up and the two head back outside, holding hands. "So, does this make us official?" Sanji asked. Zoro grins. "Yes it does."

Meanwhile, Sesshomaru is dragged and dumped in front of Terra. "Useless fool." she says. "I couldn't kill him. Not with that many people there."

"Excuses. Excuses. Excuses." She pulls out a gun and points it at him. "Say hello to your mother for me." Without hesitation, she pulls the trigger. Sesshomaru closes his eyes and says a silent prayer, preparing for the worst only for nothing to happen.

He opens his eyes to see a flag sticking out of the gun saying "Sike." She smirks. "Be grateful I did not stoop that low." She then whispers in his ear. "You were always a more worthier son to me than Zoro anyway." With that, she walks way with her guards following her, leaving a confused Sesshomaru behind.

Things are getting out of hand here. Terra as you can see is one heck of a scary woman.

[the-fallen-blue]

Apropos of nothing in particular and also several annoying things that always seem to come back,

absolutely nothing ever needs to happen in a story.

This isn't even about Watsonian justifications for Doylist bullshit, like she's gotta be naked because she's solar-powered, or whatever. Or not entirely. That's a part of it. But it's a broader category. It's "maybe that woman just wasn't gay in that writer's mind, it would damage the integrity of the character to just ~change~ her for ~woke~" It's "maybe the black guy died because that was the natural end of his story" It's "it wouldn't make sense to have disability in this world because they have healing magic"

It's this idea that a story has some kind of intrinsic, inviolable integrity of its own, that it can make choices for itself outside the minds of the people writing it and those choices are worthy of respect and of more importance than the impact of that story on the very real people involved in creating or reading/watching/playing it.

It should be self-evident that this is not true in a collaborative medium. Maybe the integrity of the character means this is a childfree action hero but now your actor is pregnant. Maybe the natural conclusion of the arc was a huge party setpiece but there was a budget issue and a fire on the lot and now you can only afford a bottle episode. Maybe it wouldn't make sense for the warrior to survive his wounds, but the player might have no other tank in the party and so he has to be available for the final fight.

And so suddenly, magically, what was intended is easily compromised. The warrior gets unexpected help from an old ally, making the injury survivable. The characters never make it to the party and spend the whole episode trying to fix their car at a gas station. The hero somehow gets in-universe knocked-up! And the story is totally derailed, and everyone involved just deals with it and makes the new path as believable and honest as possible because that is the most basic level of competence required from a professional writer.

What is less evident but no less irrefutable is that this applies just as much to a true, one-creative auteur project. There was an outline but the hard drive got bricked. There was an essential character-building plot point but the author foolishly did enough research to realize it wouldn't work. The author has experienced a Lifechanging Perspective-Altering Event and decided they can no longer conscience redeeming the villain, even though it would be out of character for the hero not to try. And now they must work around it. The narrative must adapt to the new goal, the new resources, the new context in which it is created.

Shit happens. Stories change. If you are genuinely incapable of writing a story of just as much quality and honesty when you are presented with an unexpected "you can't do this" or "you must do that," if you genuinely cannot create a work of art that has value and power when you do not have absolute freedom, I am afraid the problem is not the limits, it is that you simply suck at writing.

In fact, the true argument being made with "maybe the story just ~had~ to go that way" is not that an author cannot work around limits; it is that the particular limit being objected to is not one that an author ever should be asked to work around. EG, the boobplate is out of character, but it has a financial reason, "sex sells," and that is acceptable. Making the deuteragonist bi even though the devs originally designed him as straight doesn't actually change anything about the story, but that has a woke reason, "letting queer gamers experience the same story as straight ones," and that is not acceptable. It is not genuinely a discussion of the requirements or integrity of the storytelling process; it is the exact same tired old conflict about whose benefit and whose harm should be centered, in storytelling as in everything else.