#and then he goes all kakashi with the ninja substitution log!

[badninken]

oh no he dropped his hat T_T

[arachcobra]

Naruto Episode 7, 8 and 9 Review

Enter the cowprint ninja and his boomerang blade of doom.

Review of Naruto Episode 7, 8 and 9: The Assassin of the Mist! The Oath of Pain! And Kakashi: Sharingan Warrior

ArachCobra

So we start out with our intrepid crew being rowed to the Land of Waves through the fog. We get some exposition about Gato, who's a very small colossal asshole and how he has broken the land. The Tazuna emotionally blackmails three teenagers and a grow man into risking their lives for him, despite the fact that they're only here because he lied in the first place. You're so sympathetic, Tazuna.

Yes, I know it's a joke. Doesn't make it funnier or any less dickish.

So then they arrive and start going through the forest, with Naruto scowling at Sasuke all the way, thinking about how cool he is and how he'll prove himself better. At this point, he's moments away from pulling his dick out and yelling: “LET'S MEASURE THEM!”

So then to prove how badass he is, Naruto runs ahead and stars attacking random shrubbery, just to prove how on guard he is.

You see, Naruto isn't very smart.

Then he almost murders a rabbit. He's so apologetic that he starts rubbing the rabbit all over himself. It's weird.

Then Kakashi realizes that the rabbit is white and must have been saved from winter to be used for substitution. Which raises some questions. Like, does ninjas have to prepare materials for substitution? If yes, does that mean Kakashi has a stack of logs somewhere? And if no, why would anyone bring a rabbit when there's probably a thousand less suspicious objects in a forest?

Then Zabuza throws his sword at them like a Frisbee. I have no idea how he manages, but it looks stupid. It slices into a tree and he just materializes on top of it so he can look all dramatic.

Now, before I continue, I actually do like Zabuza. I like his second outfit better than the cow-print and I do think his intro is silly. But as a villain, I like him. Unfortunately, Zabuza is a severe victim of being off-model these episodes. At one point, his torso is stretched, in another his pants have been pulled up to his nipples and in one shot, it looks like he broke his neck just so he could glare at our protagonists from under his armpit.

Anyway, Naruto takes one look at this guy who's build like four brick outhouses stacked together and made from pure muscle, wielding a sword that's bigger than he is and just goes: “Yeah, I can take him.”

You see, Naruto is a bit of an idiot.

Kakashi has to point out that no, he can't take Zabuza on and reveals his right eye. We are informed that its a sharingan. It apparently allows you to see very well. So the fighting begin and fog envelops the area.

Now, we're informed that Zabuza is the master of the silent kill technique. So of course, he start yapping about all the ways you can kill a man. The tension of it all gets to Sasuke, who's having a surprising moment of vulnerability. That ends with him wanting to kill himself. Yeah, maybe that's a tad bit too vulnerable. Anyway, it's okay, Kakashi comforts him.

Then Zabuza gets ready to kill them all.

But then Kakashi appears and kills Zabuza.

But it was just a water clone and Zabuza appears and kills Kakashi.

But it was just a water clone and Kakashi appears and stops Zabuza.

But it was just a water clone and Zabuza appears and kicks Kakashi in the stomach.

Then things get a little weird. I think what happens is that Kakashi, while being kicked in the lake, drops some caltrops. Zabuza then stops in front of them and spends some time talking about how Kakashi thought he could delay him with the caltrops, thus being delayed by the caltrops by talking about how the caltrops aren't delaying him. Then he backflips into the lake and catches Kakashi, who's spend all this time floating like a rubber duck, in a bubble.

Then he summons another water clone to attack the crew, which it does with gusto. Naruto tries to flee, but then sees his own bandaged hand and remember he swore to never give in, never surrender. And therefore, he has to fight the musclebound blademaster goliath that is Zabuza.

Point actually goes to Sasuke here. He also realizes they have to fight. But his reason is much smarter. That without Kakashi, Zabuza will just hunt them down and then kill them.

Sakura yells warning and occasionally she and Tazuna groans like they decided to spend their off-screen time vigorously banging each other.

Anyway, Naruto charges Zabuza and then gets the shit kicked out of him. But he got his headband back, so it's all cool.

Then he and Sasuke performs this actually pretty clever strategy. Naruto jumps him with some clones of his own, transforms into a giant shuriken, passes it to Sasuke, who throws both it and his own big shuriken(Not sure when he got one of those, but whatever), forcing Zabuza to catch one and jump over the other, only for Naruto to transform back and throw a kunai, so Zabuza has to let go of the prison and let Kakashi go free to avoid getting an impromptu lobotomy.

As I said, this is actually a very clever strategy that, for the most part, utilizes the skills we've seen and gives a believable way that the characters can outmatch Zabuza, without negating everything we know about Zabuza.

But here's the problem.

This entire combo relies on Naruto and Sasuke being so in sync that they can concoct and perform such a strategy without communicating.

Bull.

Fucking.

Shit.

Those two have shown nothing but scorn for each other so far. The most teamwork we've seen was in the bells test. There's no way they've fought enough together to be able to pull that off. And don't tell me their rivalry allows them this insight. They've barely interacted with each other. Maybe if they had fought with each other for years, I could buy it, but here, no way.

Anyway, Kakashi gets free and him and Zabuza attack each other simultaneously by spending half a minute chanting and then summoning water dragons to bite each other.

I'm unsure how that technique would be useful in battle, but okay.

Then they clash in melee. You'd expect this to be a tense battle where Kakashi would have to use all his acrobatic skills to avoid Zabuza's superior reach and power.

Instead, Kakashi blocks Zabuza's blade with his own dinky kunai and then they stand there pressing against each other while grunting. It's kinda lame to be honest.

Kakashi then wages a campaign of psychological terror against Zabuza and overwhelms him, smashing him through the forest with a water spout. It's actually pretty cool. But just as he's about to finish the swordsman off, he gets needled in the throat. The swordsman, that is.

A masked ninja shows up and says he's been hunting Zabuza for going rogue.

And then Naruto gets super pissed that someone that young could be that much more powerful and skilled than him, yelling about why are they there and that they don't know anything. Rarely is Naruto this much on point.

And then Kakashi faints.

All in all, an enjoyable battle with some issues. Sakura feels completely superfluous, but I suppose somebody did have to guard Tazuna, just in case.

Givenea

Let’s just start at the beginning of episode 7, shall we. The gang is in a boat on the final stretch of the journey to the Land of Waves, and Tazuna finally comes clean about everything, from his reason for lying about the assignment to just how much danger they will be in. This is where Kakashi actually sounds like the leader of the inexperienced team he has, as he contemplates if they can handle it.

BUT FORGET ABOUT THAT, before anything can come of this, can even be properly discussed, Tazuna guilts them into continuing by saying his family will be sad if he dies. Then he turns to the camera, holds up two fingers, sends us the most shit-eating grin and proclaims “I win” in an almost singsong voice.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS ASSHOLE???!!!

Anyway… once ashore, they run into the terrifying rogue-ninja Zabuza Momoji, who traps Kakashi in a bubble, forcing Naruto and Sasuke to enact a daring and complicated plan to save him, while Sakura… does her job and protects their client???

Okay, I’m just gonna put this here… SAKURA NEEDS TO BE UTILIZED MORE! SHE NEEDS SOMETHING TO DO!

Anyway, Naruto’s plan involves him attacking Zabuza, then making a bunch of clones and attacking again, to disguise that he has turned into a giant shuriken, which one of his clone tosses to Sasuke, who pairs it with his own giant shuriken (PS. He has one of those) and tosses both at Zabuza who catches one and jumps over the other. But uh-oh, the second shuriken was Naruto, who now transform back and throws a kunai at Zabuza’s face, forcing him to let go of the bubbled Kakashi, who breaks free.

Naruto then explain that the purpose of the plan was always to free Kakashi and that he only had to toss the Naruto-shuriken at Sasuke for him to be completely in on everything.

Sakura then declares Naruto and Sasuke the perfect team.

And… I don’t buy it… Nope… Not even for a second… Na-ah…

Naruto and Sasuke has up to this point never communicated really. Naruto has whined that Sasuke is too cool for him to keep up with and thrown a few insults. Sasuke has ignored Naruto, aside from a few times where he has mocked him.

So, I don’t believe, not even the tiniest little bit, that they are capable of this level of understanding and teamwork.

This scene comes too early for that. If this was the season finale and we had seen them train and grow and learn together for some 20 episodes, seen them develop a begrudging respect, as they fought together and got used to each other’s different strategies and fighting styles, then sure.

Here… It’s just stupid, go back to square one and try again.

Fluttersniper13

There was the boatman who said he couldn't take them all the way, but he clearly almost did and then the forest of boredom, and then Zabuza show up with his boomerang blade of doom. And his amazing silent kill technique of never shutting the fuck up and taking way too fucking long to do anything. Sakura is useless, Naruto is useless, Sasuke is useless. Tazuna just stand their gormless and Kakashi look like he wants to be anywhere but here. Then dragons out of nowhere, tsunami and needle to the throat. Naruto says some stupid shit and Kakashi decides to take a nap. The end.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13125294/6/Naruto-Rewrite-1-Road-to-Ninja