#and then he gets chucked like a softball-- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wordynerdygurl · 2 years ago

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Someone to Watch Over Me

Part 2: “Seek & You Will Find”

Author’s Note: Listen, this chapter- it’s a doozy! A whopper! In the words of our favorite Metalhead, a “Big Boy”! My endless thanks to @sweetsweetjellybean for the sage-like advice. Couldn’t have gotten here without you! Seriously, I’m beyond thankful for your guidance!

Also, anyone want a playlist for this story? Lemme know!

If you need to catch up: Part 1 - Love is Blind Pairing: Eddie Munson x Plus Sized OC Amanda Patterson Summary: It’s love at first sound, pitch perfect and fated, everything in harmony. If only life were a love song.

When Amanda has a rotten rehearsal, Eddie finds a way to turn things around with the help of his friends. Is it possible that these two lost lambs have found someone to love?

Warnings: There’s some mild fat-shaming/ fat-phobia happening here. Lots of making out and references to 80s relics such as MTV VJs. Also, there’s junk food discussed and frankly, in my heart, I know Eddie is Twizzlers guy. No, it’s not up for discussion!

Happy Reading!

1990 There was no end in sight.

Chuck kept asking questions. Insipid and uninspired things like ‘What’s your favorite color?’ ‘Favorite food?’ ‘Favorite Soda?’

And every member of the band answered enthusiastically except for Eddie. He couldn’t seem to stop his brain train from running down a track towards self doubt. Why didn’t he just say that their new single was his favorite song? Name a tune from any one of the thousands that routinely blasted from his Walk-Man or stereo or car radio. Instead, like an idiot, Eddie had let his mouth speak for his stupid, stupid heart. The one organ that had no business talking out of turn. Not in front of the guys. Not to Chuck, the affront to fashion in front of him. Not to all of America once the production team edited the band’s responses together into a clip package that could be shown over and over and over in between music videos and commercials for Diet Coke. The unending false cheerfulness of the interviewer ground down Eddie’s normally thick skin, turning him sullen, moody. Of course, Eddie recognized that this could also be blamed on his bare honesty when asked a simple question about his favorite song. Was Chuck, the walking graffiti wall, really to blame? After all, the band had agreed to this list of softball questions. It’s just that Eddie hadn’t expected to be so honest. Hadn’t counted on sabotaging himself. And he was kicking himself internally for the over share. If anyone, including the doofus with his artfully styled mullet, realized how Eddie was feeling they didn’t acknowledge it. Everyone just sort of carried on like normal, especially Chuck who cleared his throat, barrelling onward, “Indiana isn’t really known for it’s rock ‘n roll. How did the band get started? What brought Corroded Coffin together?” “Oh, that’s easy!” Eddie felt the familiar hands of Gareth land noisily on his shoulders from behind, “Eddie and I went to high school together, started playing for fun in my garage. Next thing you know we’re here, getting ourselves on MTV!” Bless him, Eddie thought, a half smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. Gareth took the heat off of him, answering a couple more of Chuck’s neverending inquiries, effectively easing some of the tension that had wrapped itself around the front man. It was nice, even if it didn’t last long. “Eddie, you’re a founding member of the group, the lead singer, lead guitarist, and primary song writer here. I gotta ask-” Chuck leaned forward as if they were close friends gossiping over beers, the fakeness of it making Eddie’s jaw clench, “-Is there anything you don’t do for the band?”

It wasn’t meant to be prying, Eddie got that. This whole thing was supposed to be cushy, simple, fun. Another great way to get the band in front of audiences who were demographically appropriate for their fan base. They had all agreed to sit down and promote the record, the music video, the tour they were opening for each night. Did Chuck, and by extension, America, really need to know that Eddie wasn’t looking forward to going back to Indiana? Was that part of his obligation? Putting his memories, his history, his heartbreak out there for everyone to look at in between Billy Idol’s new single and Madonna’s latest video drop?

Maggie kicked at his boot. It was a warning from his faithful head of security, a soundless reminder to play nice with the other kids. Especially since this was too big a moment to blow by being a pouty pants.

So Eddie did what he always did when he hated what was being forced on him by the institutions pulling his strings. He leaned into malicious compliance while mentally giving everyone around him, including his beloved Maggie, an imaginary middle finger. He smiled broadly, his laugh too loud. It was such a tonal shift that Chuck jumped in his seat, nearly frantic, “Eddie? Are you ok to continue?” Batting his kohl rimmed eyes at the poor man’s Kurt Loder before him, Eddie resigned himself to giving the producers a sound bite for the ages. “Yea, yea. Fine, Chuckie! What, uh, what don’t I do for the band? I guess-” running a ringed hand over the back of his neck, Eddie shook his head, holding his cheeks up through force of will, “-I don’t cook. Not anymore. Not since the uh, Grilled Cheese Incident of 1988.” The smile that Chuck flashed was pure, unadulterated Americana wholesomeness. It was a Donny Osmond, Crest commercial smile. Eddie hated it. Itchy from discomfort, he craved nicotine. Caffeine. Anything but sitting still in front of this dork who managed to keep his creepily perfect smile intact despite Eddie’s threatening to slip away. “Oh, ho! Sounds like there’s a great story there!” Shrugging, going for shyness, Eddie looked off camera, finding Maggie’s eyes below the lip of her scally cap. It was a line almost as hard as her smile. She was displeased but that gave Eddie new life. Message received, he nodded, resettling his widest, grossest grin onto his face, “Yea! Almost set fire to the hotel room in Atlanta by making a sandwich with the in-room iron. How was I supposed to know that toast burns under the wool setting? Am I right, Chuck?” A robust laugh from Chuck got the rest of the boys chuckling too, “An important lesson for the kids at home! And, speaking of the kids at home, I hear you and the band have a surprise for some lucky Indianapolis Metal fans in the new year, is that right?” Faking it in a tone of voice typically reserved for ill fated travelers about to meet their doom around the DnD table, Eddie grinned wickedly, “Oh, that’s absolutely correct, Chuck.”

“Care to tell us more, Eddie?” Raising an eyebrow and its sterling hoop with it, Eddie clicked his teeth, “Ya know what, Chuck, it’d be my pleasure.”

He heard Maggie’s eyes roll even if he didn’t see it for himself. —

1987

“Well? Are you really not gonna tell me?” Carly was staring through Amanda as if she could pull the information out of her brain by willpower alone.

Heat flared through Amanda, landing prettily along her cheeks as she shrugged, “Tell you what?” Snorting, just shy of angry, Carly’s wide set eyes bulged comically, “About the guy from the concert- Eddie? Yea. Eddie.” At the mention of his name Amanda felt a rush of shimmering excitement slip down her spine. Eddie. It seemed like that was all she thought about these days but Carly and the others didn’t need to know that little fact. In the two weeks since their concert in Hawkins, the band had taken a little time off for class work and work work. Amanda hadn’t seen any of them since that night. Clearing her throat, flipping through the sheet music in front of her, Amanda sighed, “Who?” She didn’t sell the put on bored tone, not to Carly anyway, who pushed back, “Uh uh. No way. I want details. All of them. Because that boy-” Carly’s voice turned wistful, “-was gorgeous. And he only had eyes for you.” Even though she knew this was all fact, Amanda still felt the need to self-protect. Shield whatever was growing between her and Eddie from anyone who might try and trample on the spring green bud of their romance because this was new for her, exciting. The heady rush of liking someone and having them return the sentiment had been so far out of her experience that Amanda found herself treasuring even the smallest of gestures from Eddie. Something her more experienced and frankly filthy friend would not be able to understand. And also, Amanda wasn’t entirely sure that she liked the way Carly got all glazed and gooey when she talked about Eddie. It made her feel protective of him. It made her want to keep him safe, and by her side, and away from cute, coquettish Carly at all costs. Stiffer than usual, Amanda turned to her friend, “Well, if you must know-” “I absolutely must! You practically disappeared with him.” Siddling closer, Carly’s voice dropped conspiratorially, “Mark was worried.” Snapping her head up, Amanda looked across the practice space to where Jim and Mark were chatting like normal, “He was?” “Yup. Thought something bad was gonna happen to you after you went off with a stranger.” “Um, ok, I mean, I was fine. More than fine, actually” The barest hint of a smile played out over Amanda’s lips, a phantom made of memory and moonlight and milkshakes. Carly smiled smugly, a knowing tint to her tone, “Oh, I know. That uh, hickey speaks volumes.” Reflexively Amanda rubbed a hand over the narrowly exposed lavender stain on her collarbone, biting into her bottom lip, “Shh! Not so loud!” “Please! Just, level with me, Amanda. How was he?” Wagging her eyebrows, Carly wasn’t going to stop until she heard all the sorted details, leaning over her keyboard with obvious interest, practically drooling. Rolling her eyes skyward, shutting them long enough to gather a thoughtful response, Amanda slowly leveled her gaze at her friend. Risking a sideways glance at the boys, she pushed closer to the almost vibrationally excited Carly, swooning like a cartoon princess, “He was wonderful.” “And?” “And what?” Carly huffed in frustration, “What do you mean ‘and what’? What did you do? What did you do to him? What did he do to you?” She was very emphatically implying that she wanted the meat of the story. The gory, bloody bits of what had transpired between Amanda and Eddie. Pieces that she wasn’t sure about sharing. Amanda though, was all too happy to play dumb, “Oh, well we went to the diner and had milkshakes and then-” Over eager, Carly cut her off with an excited flick of her hand, “Then you guys did it, right? Was it in that shitty van?” A confused look clouded Amanda’s face, “What? No. We uh, we did hold hands under the stars and-” “Then you did it?” Laughing at her friend’s crestfallen face, she shook her head, “We didn’t do it, Carly. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Groaning, Carly lightly shoved at Amanda’s shoulder, “You’ve gotta be kidding me! Why the hell not? He was clearly down for you and bad too. What happened? How come you didn’t-” Amanda watched as her friend made sure the boys weren’t able to hear them as she taunted, “-ya know, seal the deal?” Tilting her head, Amanda let her memories of that night fill her mind. Full of small touches that lingered and the scent of vanilla ice cream, the heavy taste of greasy fries and the sound of rumbling laughter from below. It had been perfect and complete, just as it was. After the diner, Eddie had driven out to Lover’s Lake, his hand never leaving Amanda’s, even when he had to flip the cassette tape. He had popped open the back doors, inviting her to sit beside him under a quilt that usually cradled his amplifier. Then Eddie started talking and Amanda found herself lost in the even cadence of his voice. And when he spoke about the last time he had been at the lake, about seeing things that hurt to remember, it was Amanda who threaded her fingers into his net of hair. It was Amanda that turned Eddie’s starry eyes to hers. It was Amanda who whispered, “I’m, I’m so sorry that happened to you.” Amanda did all that, working from some intrinsic biological knowledge. But Eddie was the one who stole her breath under the moonlight. And when sitting up was too much work, keeping them too far away from each other to be comfortable, the cargo space in his van was the only witness to their necking. Humid kisses that scalded along the tender tension of Amanda’s throat. Tiny, closed lip smacks to the skin under Eddie’s chin where even stubble refused to grow. The unpracticed nip of his canine tooth tugging on Amanda’s earlobe, the ungainly groan Eddie uttered when she pulled his hair. No one knew about that but the van, the night sky, and the pair of them. She would have gone further. She wanted to, saying as much to Eddie in between ragged breaths and sugar spun sighs, but he shook the mop of curls that framed his flushed face, “Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?” Protests started to form, Amanda’s mind ready to fight his logic, only to be subdued by another hot press of his swollen lips to hers. Eddie’s endless eyes searching hers in the starlight confessed, “Need to see you again, Mandy. If I- if we, well, ya know- then there won’t be much to look forward to.”

That wasn’t true. Amanda’s head and heart rebelled against the thought because could already think of a million reasons to see Eddie Munson again. Almost none of them had to do with getting him out of his exceptionally well fitted jeans. Almost.

And maybe she would have fought back harder against his denial if he hadn’t freely admitted his own need. Knowing that Eddie wanted more- another date, another chance to see her, another night shared under starlight, made the throbbing ache in her body a little bit easier to ignore. Amanda didn’t have to have immediate satisfaction, despite how much she may have craved it, when Eddie slurped hungrily against the fragile skin of her throat, marking her as taken. Oh, yea. Amanda could wait. It would absolutely be worth it. Eddie had pinky promised. But Amanda was not about to tell Carly any of that. Those were porcelain, precious pieces of her night with Eddie. She was holding them close to her heart but that didn’t mean she couldn’t give her friend something to chew on. Shifting an eyebrow up, a sly smile curving over her lips, “Um, Eddie didn’t- well, we didn’t need to.” “What does that even mean?” But Amanda didn’t get a chance to answer. Mark and Jim were ready to start the session which brought their conversation to a stop even if she knew Carly wasn’t going to let it go. “Later, k?”

Checking her watch, Amanda was surprised to see that their booked practice time was nearly up. It had been a good one, at least for her. Singing all those pretty love songs while thinking about a certain long and lean leather wearing guy who could kiss like a sailor on shore leave helped Amanda put her heart into every note. Not everyone in the band was having as good a night. All practice long Mark had been full of criticism. Carly was rushing the melody on one song, dragging down the rhythm on the next. He questioned Jim’s ability to keep up during a run through of “Fever”, citing the bassline as too easy for it to sound so bad. With harsh comments about late entries or off key starting notes, a scowl practically plastered to his face anytime Amanda looked in his direction, Mark was clearly going through something. Everyone was entitled to a bad day, Amanda had had a few herself over the years, but there was a meanness to Mark tonight that felt off. Wrong. There had been only one major critique from the stocky drummer about Amanda’s work this session, coming after the last note of Someone to Watch Over Me. Mark’s ruddy face was redder than usual as he tossed down his sticks, “Yea, yea, we get it. You’re desperate for love or whatever. Do you have to sound so, so, I don’t know, shameless when you sing it Amanda?” “I’m sorry?” “It’s like you’re begging for a man by the end of that song. Like you’ll take anyone home.” Carly was shaking her head, refusing to meet Amanda’s searching gaze, second hand embarrassment pinkening her cheeks. Jim couldn’t stop staring at Mark, his mouth hanging open, his fingers frozen on the strings of his instrument. Amanda shrugged, adjusting her microphone stand, “Uh, I sang it like I always do.” “Yea, that’s the problem, isn’t it?” Mark’s too light eyes bored into Amanda’s, silently struggling to communicate something she wasn’t picking up. Jim cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention, and diplomatically offered, “Uh, we’re running out of time, guys. Maybe let’s go over ‘I Can See Clearly Now’? Carly? Amanda? That sound ok?” Nodding, Amanda agreed quietly, flipping through her lyric book for the right song. Tossing her tight coils of hair, Carly nodded, squeaking out her reply without any of her usual playfulness, “Yup. Fine with me. Count us in Mark.” His sticks clicked together loudly, not bothering to count out loud for the benefit of his bandmates, not really acknowledging any of them, just jumping straight to the intro. It didn’t matter, they all fell into the tune, years of practice making it easy even if the room’s energy was still wasn’t. Mark worked the drums hard, without looking at his hands, instead watching Amanda like a hawk everytime she dared risk a glance in his direction.

A heavy, weighted thing, his stare followed her as she confidently started to sing over the other instruments. Amanda might have been unsure about whatever was bothering Mark, she may have been cautious about oversharing with Carly, but one thing Amanda knew with certainty was that she sounded good tonight. So did the band, despite what Mark had alleged with his prickly, nit-picking comments. So, despite how happy she had been with her own performance, Amanda was eager to get home where there was a hot shower and cold beer waiting. Beyond ready to put this bizarro rehearsal behind her, when Jim called it, Amanda wasted no time packing up her things. After all, Eddie would be calling soon and that was the wonderful thing to look forward to at the end of this long day. She was crouched down, wrapping up her chords and stowing things in their proper place, when Mark’s beat up Converse sneakers appeared in front of her. He cleared his throat a bit too loudly to get her attention, “Uh, hey Amanda?” Was this the start of an apology? God, she hoped so. And not just for her but for Jim and Carly too. “Yea?” It hit somewhere between disinterested and already engaged but still friendly, welcoming. Without shifting her focus, Amanda carried on, situating her things inside the case which held her microphone and not the drummer standing with his hands in the pockets of his corduroys. “Where- uh, where’d you disappear to? Ya know, after the show the other night?” Looking up at him, Amanda blinked purposefully, not confused by the question but by the need to ask it. “I uh, I went out with a friend.” Mark shuffled in place, dragging a hand through his close cropped hair, something clearly on his mind. Watching him war with himself was tiresome and before he could say anything else, Amanda reached out, “Help me up?” Dragging her to her feet like he had done countless times, Mark didn’t let go of her hand right away so Amanda pulled it back, cocking her head with a small smile, “Uh, thanks for the assist!” Still he was silent. Brooding. Fidgety and nervous, behavior that wasn’t normal Mark. Paired with his, frankly, shitty attitude all night long, it tripped Amanda’s emotional alert system. Something was definitely wrong. The sympathetic friend to all in need, Amanda breathed out a sigh, “Are you ok, Mark? You just seem a little-” She reached for his shoulder comfortingly like she would do for any of her friends. Only Mark brusquely jumped away from her touch, cutting through her comment in a harsh rush, “So, uh who’s the guy?” Stopping short, Amanda dropped her hand as if she’s been burned, cheeks flaming from the question. From the tone of it. From the implication it carried. Shaking it off, she countered with a question of her own, asking lightly, “From the concert? His name is Eddie.” “Eddie?” Parroting her answer, Mark let his eyes linger on something over Amanda’s shoulder, unable to look at her now. “Is he, like, your-” pausing, really working to dig out the word that he was reluctant to say, Mark finally settled his pained look on Amanda’s face, “-your boyfriend?” Was he? Labels hadn’t been discussed, it had only been a few dates after all, but Amanda felt connected to Eddie in a way that was difficult to describe. It was everything and nothing. Life changing but life affirming, too. So, was she Eddie’s girlfriend? Not in a junior high school dance sort of way. She wasn’t going to start drawing hearts with his initials on her notebook or anything like that, but she also couldn’t deny that they were linked. Bonded. Fated. And Amanda felt all of that, her fingers brushing over the discolored skin at her edge of her blouse as evidence of her connection with Eddie, but what she said to Mark was, “Yea. I- I think he is.” Curious stares from Jim and Carly followed the exchange happening smack in the middle of their shared practice space. Their heads swiveled between the drummer and vocalist, not wanting to miss a moment, as Mark added hotly, “You think? What the hell is that, Amanda? Is he or isn’t he?” That tone was new. She couldn’t think of a time when Mark had been anything less than complimentary, kind. Until tonight, anyway. Now he was tight lipped, clenched hands at his sides, the shoulders of his Rush t-shirt nearly grazing his ears. Facing him full on, Amanda straightened her spine, a pinched purse to her lips, struggling to keep things smooth. Easy. And feeling her way around the enigmatic energy that Mark was putting out. “Well, uh, I, I met him at work. Yea, must be a couple of weeks back. He plays guitar and came in for a score book. I was uh, putting up flyers for our show and, he, ya know, came to see us.” Scoffing at her, his voice raised, Mark’s already white skin was stained scarlet in hot patches along his throat and face, “A random guy? A, a stranger? You just, I don’t know, talk to men you don’t know and, like, invite them to see you sing?” Flinching, Amanda tilted her head his way, clarity coming all at once, “Are- are you mad at me, Mark?” “Yea. Hell yea, I am. I’m fucking pissed. You, you just disappeared with some long haired dude out of the crowd like it was no big deal. Not a word about where you were going or, or, when you’d be back.” Stepping closer, voice dropping to little more than a whisper, Mark reached out a hand to rub along the sleeve of Amanda's sweater, “I-” he swallowed audibly, “-I was worried about you.” Oh. That made some sense, Amanda figured. Mark was looking out for her, keeping an eye on her. Protecting her. Fiercer than needed, maybe, but protecting her just the same. It was kind of nice, even if it was entirely unnecessary where Eddie was concerned. A friendly grin filled her face, relief replacing Amanda’s anxiety, “Mark! That’s like, super sweet of you, but honestly? Eddie is so-” giddiness welled up inside of Amanda at the thought of Eddie. It turned her smile into something dreamy as she gushed, “-he’s so-” Biting into her bliss, Marks’ bitterness sliced into Amanda’s sentence, “So what? Huh, Amanda? What does this guy do? Where does he live? What do you even know about him?” Amanda wasn’t used to being on the spot, not like this and never with an audience made up of her friends. It was nearly an interrogation and every time she offered a response Mark was there, waiting, with words to try and trap her. “I know enough, Mark. I know that Eddie’s been a perfect gentleman. That- that he’s kind. Gentle.” “Gentle? Gentlemen don’t bruise girls like that.” He pointed at the purple splotch peeking from under her collar as if it were evidence of some kind. Tugging her shirt closer, embarrassed heat roared through her, “That’s- that’s private. It’s not what you think.” “It’s hardly private, Amanda, when you parade around here, showing it off for all of us to see.” Squaring his stance, Mark looked down his freckled nose at her, questioning her the way a furious father might, “Did- did he hurt you?” The idea of it was so absurd that Amanda laughed directly in Mark’s face. “Hurt me? No. No, Mark. I- I wanted Eddie to uh, ya know-” bashfully, she let her sentence and its implication go unfinished. God, it was so difficult to talk about this stuff when her buddy and bandmate looked so irrationally mad. Furious. Frighteningly so. She had thought, perhaps naively, that he would be happy for her the same way Carly had been. In that teasing, ball-busting way that friends were supposed to support each other when a new relationship was starting. It had never occurred to Amanda that Mark, or anyone, really, would be pissed about Eddie. “You, you wanted that? From a guy like him? I just don’t understand, Amanda.” There was another layer to Mark’s voice this time, something closer to sadness than she had ever heard before. Hurt. That was the sour note, the discordant jangle, which flattened all the words that left his mouth. More confused than ever, Amanda swiftly switched into comfort mode, a place that was more than familiar. After all, her’s was the dependable shoulder that people cried on and she put that emotional muscle memory to work, soothing, “Mark, it’s ok. I’m ok, really. Eddie, he’s a really great guy and, yea, we’re still getting to know each other. This, this thing with Eddie and I- it’s brand new and like, yea, I- we have a good time together. I fully plan on having more good times with him. He’s just like, really sweet and thoughtful and-” “Enough, ok. I get it. I just, I don’t know, never figured you for someone who’d get hooked up with some townie trash. It’s stupid, Amanda. Dumb.” Carly’s eyes went saucer wide and Jim physically winced at the heated words Mark flung at Amanda. This was the first time any of them had argued over more than a late entry or repeating a chorus too many times. This was serious. “Townie trash?” Sputtering, fury filling all the available space in Amanda’s body, she couldn’t actually believe what Mark had said about Eddie.

“You don’t even know him!” Shrill and thin, Amanda was nearly hollering now, unable to keep the anger bottled up. Tears gathered in her eyes, not from sadness but from the cruel unkind things Mark kept tossing her way. Braver than he had any right to be, Mark took a step forward, cold eyes narrowing sharply, “Do you even know this guy? Know who he is? I do. I asked around, Amanda. He’s a fucking drug dealer for one thing! And someone told me that he, like, barely beat a murder charge years ago. Murder, Amanda.” Waving a hand in front of her face as if she was trying to erase the terrible things coming out of Mark’s mouth, Amanda snapped back with a hiccup in her voice, “Well, he told me all about it. Unlike you, I got my information from the source.” Scoffing, Mark rolled his head to the ceiling as if he was struggling to make a toddler understand, “And you think he told you the truth? Amanda, come on! You can’t really-” “Really what? I can’t really like a guy who used to sell dime bags in the woods of his high school? I couldn’t possibly be into someone who told me he had a reputation, told me that, that he had been through some seriously bad shit?” She had gained ground as her rage swelled with the need to defend Eddie from Mark, glaring at someone who should have been on her side, should have been excited for her and instead was berating her. Amanda’s heart was heavy from it when she asked, “Why do you even care? What does it matter to you, Mark?” Mark took a tentative step closer, crowding into her personal space as his voice dropped lower trying to capture Amanda’s line of vision, “I think you know why.” “Mark-” “Amanda. Come on. You can’t not know, right?” “Know what?” But in saying it, Amanda realized exactly what Mark was trying to say through all his clumsy blustering. Something that he had been struggling to say wordlessly for a long time if she looked at it through the prism of Carly’s revelation. Although, it still didn’t account for Mark’s not acting on any of his feelings in a meaningful way. And in that second Amanda was furious at him anew. At all of them, really. Because it was becoming more apparent that Carly and Jim had known about the depth of Mark’s feelings without ever once letting her in on the secret. Even now, she had to watch as Mark stumbled through his admission, a nervous hitch in his throat that made the normally stoic guy sound small. “That I- that I’m into you, even though I shouldn’t be. Ya know?” Carly sucked in a breath. Jim groaned and looked around the room for an exit. Amanda blinked dumbly. “What did you say?” A cocky grin, starting small, started to spread over Mark’s freckled cheeks. “Look, I know that you’re a, a bigger girl, and like, your choices are limited. Most guys wouldn’t want that, but-” he was reaching up to tuck a strand of Amanda’s hair behind her ear when she jerked her head away, “-Amanda, I do. I want you in spite of that.” All at once the room was too small. Too hot. And Mark was standing entirely too close. Again, Mark made to touch her, forcing a rough whisper out of Amanda, “Don’t.” “But, Amanda, I just told you that I-” Shaking her head, Amanda took a huge backward step, kicking her microphone case, “Stop! Please, Mark. Stop. Don’t, don’t say anything else.” Her breaths were short, not enough air making its way into her lungs, and Amanda could sense the racing of her pulse. Worry was late in arriving on Mark’s face but when it had, he reached out a hand, only for Amanda to bat it away, “No.” Carly was in front of her then, “Hey, Amanda, you need to breathe, alright? Gotta take a deep breath for me, k?” Nodding her head, Amanda let herself be led to one of the metal legged chairs that was stacked near the door of the rehearsal space, Carly crouching at her side. From a distance she could see Jim talking to Mark, a hand on the drummer’s chest, and managed to puff out an apology, “I’m- I’m so sorry, Carly. I’m so terribly sorry about this-” Friendly fingers squeezed Amanda’s, “Hey, none of that. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re ok. You’re good. Just a little upset is all.” Amanda closed her eyes, focusing on the inhales and exhales until she no longer felt a hitch in her sternum. When she looked up again, Mark was gone and Carly was handing her a paper cup of water, “Jim, uh, well, he told Mark to take a hike.” A wet giggle burst out of Amanda and she drank greedily as Carly went on, “How ya feelin’? That was, shit, Amanda, I’m so sorry. Because that was wild.” It was late enough that no other students would be looking to get into the practice rooms, something that she was grateful for, since Amanda knew that she was a mess. Tears and hyperventilation took a toll, not to mention the stuffy nose crying had created. There was no way she could face anyone else but Carly just now. “Carly?” “Yea, babe?” “Did Mark really-” She didn’t finish her sentence. Didn’t think she could, really, when the recollection of all that had been said filtered through her head. Carly seemed to know that too because she sighed heavily and nodded once.

Carly eyed her cautiously, rocking back on her heels, testing the waters slowly, “Look. Mark went way over the line tonight. He’s clearly-” “Don’t defend him, ok? Please, Carly.” Amanda rubbed her temples, a throbbing headache making its presence known, “I just don’t understand. Why would he say those things?” She struggled to condense her thoughts into meaningful words, words that made some sense, but came up lacking. Something her friend picked up on. “Hey. I’m on your side here, Amanda. And I’ve been telling Mark to talk to you for a while now. It’s what you deserved, ya know?” When the singer didn’t respond, Carly nudged her gently, “Wanna go get drunk? Pour some sugar in Mark’s gas tank? Order five dozen pizzas to his frat house?” Swallowing down some more water, feeling more in control of herself, Amanda’s weak smile met Carly’s, “Thanks, I- I think I need to get out of here. Feed the cat, maybe call Eddie?” A slow grin grew across Carly’s friendly face, it was a knowing thing, but full of sweetness, “Uh huh. Of course. Maybe he could come over and make you feel gooooood!” The way she drew out the vowels made Amanda laugh, feeling lighter at the idea of seeing Eddie, “Maybe.” Carly pushed up on her knees, standing quickly, “Well, I imagine he could help you relieve some stress, is all I’m sayin’.” Heat crept through Amanda at the insinuation but she didn’t reject the idea outright. Perhaps her little friend had a point. Perhaps there was some comfort to be gained by having Eddie wrapped around her. When Carly offered her a hand, Amanda took it before pulling the girl into a hug, “Thanks for hanging around.” “It’s the least I could do.” “Still, I’m so embarrassed about all this, Carly. I can’t-” A firm shake of her head silenced Amanda, “No. Don’t do that. You shouldn’t be embarrassed. Mark should be. He’s the asshole here.” Agreeing numbly, Amanda grabbed her case by its handle, almost out the door when Carly called, “Amanda? Are you going to be here next week? Like, are you going to come to practice?”

She already had her answer ready, as much as she didn’t want it to be true, “Uh, we’ll see. I’ll- I’ll have to let you know.” A long look passed between the keyboard player and song bird. Carly bobbed her head once, “You call me, yea?” “Of course.”

____ Eddie was clingy, ok? He knew that about himself. Always the last person to let go during a hug, never in a rush to pull away, Eddie realized he had the potential to become a human sized barnacle, given the chance. And it wasn’t just physical. He craved reassurance from any and everyone, returning it in equal measure. Check in calls from Nancy or Robin, a drop-in at Family Video during every one of Steve’s shifts, dinners at the Henderson house each week, Corroded Coffin practice and, on rare occasions, a performance. It kept Eddie connected to all of the little sheep in his flock. But Amanda was something different, wasn’t she? A woman who lived on her own, went to school, went to work, went to band rehearsals and was content with making her own way. So independent it worried Eddie because he wanted her to depend on him. Yea, Eddie was clingy and protective and he had a hard time not showering those he loved in his affection. People who knew him, really knew him well, understood his blanket of affection. For new faces though, it could be a lot. Eddie could be a lot. And he’d had more than one relationship end before it began because of his smothering, suffocating, face hugging alien level of attachment. This time, Eddie vowed that wasn’t going to let that happen. He had a plan. A campaign for himself, with the end goal of winning Amanda, heart and soul. So, he had told her, flat out, that he, Eddie Munson, was an all or nothing kinda guy.

It was over the phone, the morning after the concert, because Eddie also didn’t have great impulse control. He’d just laid it out in plain English; he liked her. Alot. He liked talking to her and he liked kissing her even more. Because he wanted to continue doing both things, and not lose sleep over it, Eddie proposed some guidelines. Graciously, grandly, his Amanda agreed to one phone call a day. A check in, usually after dinner or a night shift, depending on the night, where they both unloaded the day’s events into the sympathetic ear of the other. It was one call a day, yes, one call that usually lasted four or five hours, a fact which couldn't be laid entirely at Eddie’s feet. After all, it was Amanda who refused to hang up first. Said it made her sad to say goodbye, which was just about the sweetest thing Eddie had ever heard, since most people couldn’t get rid of him fast enough. Now they ended their calls with “Night, Night” as if they were children taking a nap at daycare or something, instead of nearly full grown adults who desperately needed sleep before heading out to work or school. That was if they even remembered to hang up at all. Wayne had come home on at least two occasions to find Eddie asleep, cradling the receiver to his ear, snoring away. When he heard a matching set of heavy breaths on the other end of the phone, Wayne got the picture clear enough, telling his nephew to try and rehang the handset, if possible. No need to keep the line engaged and stretch the cord like that just to fall asleep together. Amanda had giggled at that, promising solemnly to try and avoid any future overnight calls, despite how lovely it was to listen to Eddie sleep. And the romantic in Eddie ate that shit up. It was the stuff of legend. And shit, did Eddie want to be legendary for Amanda. It was the heartsick, love hungry guy in him who had different ideas about what counted as romantic and that underfed goblin wanted all the rules thrown out of the window, even if they were ones Eddie had insisted on. That green and greedy bastard who lived in his heart demanded longer conversations. It didn’t want to wait until Friday night or Saturday morning to see Amanda, with her soft curves which he had recently discovered looked just as lovely in flowy dresses as they did in tight jeans, making Eddie thank a god he didn’t believe in for the hard work of the Jordache company.

No, the already attached barnacle, the needy slice of his personality, wanted to wake up every morning with arms, soft and warm, curled around him. Amanda’s arms. And it required a goodnight kiss from Amanda’s sweet lips, no longer satisfied with a whispered wish of sweet dreams through the breaking, beige knot of curling cord that stretched tightly from the trailer’s kitchen to his bed. But Eddie was trying to deny that feral critter. He had to or the damnable thing would take over his body and mind, saying or doing something stupid, way too soon for either of them to be comfortable. Something that might spook Amanda, something that he might regret.

Because Eddie Munson wasn’t ready for this thing with Amanda Patterson to end. To be over. Not so soon. Not when there was still so much to see and do and talk about together. Gnawing on his already shredded cuticle, Eddie worried at his nail, mind going as fast as a Hetfield guitar solo and twice as loud. If he really let himself break it down, Eddie supposed that he could charge the over eager attachments he formed with all creatures in need, great and small, on his lacking, slacking parents. Wayne, the best man in Indiana and possibly the world, had gifted him with stability as a kid. A much needed anchor in the swirling sea that was young Munson’s life until that point, but even the patient grit of his uncle’s love couldn’t quite scrape away the sticky residue of being leaveable. Of being left. Of being easy to walk away from.

Eddie did not want to think like that, he didn’t. Because he had worked hard to keep those idle thoughts out of his brain. But like an invasive plant, they managed to crowd his mental garden, taking over whatever good seeds were sown in love or friendship.

It was the kudzu of bad thoughts that he liked to blame for driving a wedge into all of his important relationships, blanketing the peace and happiness that he craved with waxy green leaves that choked and strangled in their desperate climb towards the light. Sure, he fought against it. Hacked away at it bit by bit, and in time, some love had taken root. And yea, he could thank the people who put in the time; Wayne, Dustin, Robin and Steve, hell even Nancy Wheeler and the Hellfire guys. But, credit where credit is due? Those connections flourished in the sandy soil of his heart mostly because Eddie was one helluva gardener. That reminded him, he should put killer plants in his next campaign, Eddie thought quickly, grabbing for a napkin and Sharpie marker that he swiped from Family Video, “Little fuckers won’t see that coming.” It struck him right then. As he was tucking the now defiled and scribbled upon tissue into his vest pocket, Eddie realized just how lost he was for Amanda. Knew with a fatal certainty that his heart was planting seeds with deep, thirsty roots. Growing a field of wildflowers for a woman he’d known, what, two weeks? Only, if he was honest with himself, he knew it was a lost cause at the diner when they kissed over vanilla milkshakes. Maybe he knew it before then, Eddie considered, teeth toying with his fingernail now. From the second they met, her impossibly amazing eyes catching his own as Amanda grabbed him, holding on for dear life, instead of tumbling to the ground at his feet. Or, most likely of all, when that voice of hers dripped like honey, wrapping Eddie in a smothering blanket of loveliness that he still hadn’t been able to shake off. Yea, he nodded to no one but himself, the sound of Amanda’s singing had pulled him under like a mermaid mirage and he had gone willingly into the deepest end of the ocean for just one more note. And that is why he was breaking his own rule about waiting until the weekend.

Because when Amanda had called after tonight’s practice, her normally full and pleased voice was tight and thin. Because when Eddie asked what was wrong he heard the two breaths she took and could picture how her brain flashed from keeping him out of it to letting him in. Because when Amanda told him she’d had an awful night, Eddie gave the only answer he could, “I’ll be right there.” Now, despite the lateness of the day, Amanda was running into a gust of autumn air that tugged her hair wildly and scoured her cheeks raw. Passing in front of the van’s headlights, she paused just long enough to smile at him, lit up golden against the India ink night. Eddie returned the look, leaning over the console to pop open the door, welcoming his girl, as she surely was in his mind anyway, into the warm van, “Hey gorgeous.” Before he could retreat to the driver’s seat, Amanda’s cold hands were tugging against the patched denim cut, keeping him on her side of the cab. Lips that Eddie dreamed about pressed to his own and as much as his manliness might want to deny it, he groaned against her mouth, pleased at her wanting him so recklessly. There was something else in the kiss that Amanda greeted Eddie with, something bitter, something sad, and it shook him up to realize that she’d been crying. That’s why he slowly pulled away from her upturned face, his ringed right hand curling to match the curve of her cheek, “Mandy, is- is everything ok?” With shining eyes and her bottom lip pinned between her teeth, Amanda shook her head, nearly sobbing, “No. Nope. Not even like a little bit.” “Oh baby, I’m sorry.” Letting her forehead lay against Eddie’s, his coarse curls curtaining them both, Amanda inhaled heavily, “Not your fault, just, stupid shit but, well-” Now she looked up at him with a trembling bottom lip and shiny trails over her cheeks making Eddie’s thoughts jump between murderous anger at whoever did this to his girl and comforting marshmallow softness for the pain she was in.

He settled on an encouraging head nudge, urging her to continue, “-I think I have to leave the band.” “What?” Her sigh was a wretched, wet thing and Eddie saw the effort it took for Amanda to steady herself, closing her eyes as she repeated, “I’m not going to be in the Indiana Four anymore. I, uh, I have to quit” The last word cracking through a shallow sob. A million questions flooded Eddie’s brain. This was a big deal. Huge even. And Eddie wasn’t about to make it worse for Amanda by asking any of them out loud right now. Swallowing his own need for clarity, Eddie brushed his thumb across Amanda’s bottom lip, his personal favorite, and hummed, “Hey, hey, you’re ok. I got you, baby. It’ll be alright, yea?” Amanda didn’t answer in words. She merely scooted closer, her arms threading under Eddie’s, hugging him tightly. It was a few seconds before the fresh wave of tears dried up and all he did was hold on despite the damp spot on his shoulder. Like all storms do, it passed, and when it had, Amanda sighed heavily, “I’m so sorry-” “Shh, I don’t care. I just- damn, Amanda, I, like, hate seeing you so sad. It’s breaking my heart, baby.” “Don’t- don’t say shit like that, Eddie.” “Why not? It’s true.” Swallowing thickly, wiping at the twin tracks of dampness on her cheeks, Amanda huffed, “‘Cause you’re gonna make me cry again!” “Ok, ok. I won’t say anything nice to you right now.” There was a hint of mirth in his voice that he prayed Amanda would notice, a softening that Eddie was desperate to offer his lady in distress with the hopes of cheering her up a little. Sniffling, she tilted her head in that tell-tale way, biting her bottom lip to halt her half smile from growing, “Thank you for your, uh, understanding.” “No problem. It’s good to know, for like, the future. Mandy’s sad? Don’t be nice. That’ll only make it worse.” Giggling despite her heavy heart, Amanda playfully pushed against Eddie’s chest, her nose stuffy from crying, “That’s not what I said.” “Well, that’s what I heard, sweetheart. And, lucky for you, I’m pretty good at being not nice, so I think this arrangement is going to work out just fine.” Now he was openly teasing her, grateful to see that she was fighting back. It meant she was feeling better and Eddie’s heart soared for knowing he was helping. Those eyes. The ones that pinned Eddie in place, making his breath catch in his throat, were locked on to him when she said, “You’re pretty nice to me, so don’t sell yourself short, Munson.” Leaning in close, the console be damned, Eddie let his nose graze hers, “Hmm, you’re pretty and that’s nice, Miss Mandy.”

Humming, Amanda rested a palm against Eddie’s cheek, “See? That’s what I mean. You say the sweetest things.”

“What can I say? Maybe you bring it out in me?” Shaking her head, Amanda snorted out a short laugh, disbelieving but flattered all the same. Still, Eddie wasn’t entirely surprised when she changed the subject, “So, thank you for coming over. For coming to get me. I just-” her shoulders dropped as she deflated after a deep exhale, “-I want to forget about today.” Shyly he peeked at her from under the flap of fringe that hung haphazardly over his eyes, “If you wanted to, ya know, talk about it, I’m all ears Mandy.” And he saw the struggle behind Amanda’s eyes, the way she tipped her head, thinking it through. Eddie wondered if there would ever be a time when telling him about her day might be a natural, easy, thoughtless thing. Because that’s what he wanted. He wanted to be the person she ran to, good or bad. But as they sat in her building’s parking lot, the van’s motor idling loudly, Amanda biting the inside of her cheek, Eddie saw the moment she decided against sharing. Saw how she blinked away unshed tears before swallowing shakily. Watched the way she tossed her head, like she was clearing away some bad thought or another. Damn it, she’s too pretty to be sitting so far away.

“Uh, I- I appreciate the offer, Eddie. But maybe-” “Hey, I’m here whenever you need me. You know that, right?” Her head dropped, focused on her fingernails, Amanda’s voice small as she answered, “Yea. Yes. I know that, Eddie.” Taking her hand in his, Eddie squeezed it firmly, happy when she lifted her lovely face his way. “And, just so you know, I am gonna make you tell me all about it, Mandy. Just yet, if that’s ok? If you can hold onto it for a little bit longer, I uh, I think it’ll be worth it.” “Sounds like you have a plan, Ed.” A tentative smile, damp at the corners, broke through the mask of pain she was carrying. It felt like a gold medal win to Eddie.

Of course he did. Eddie had already spent too much time thinking about how to spend this stolen night with Amanda. He knew what his body wanted, what his brain wanted, but now, it wasn’t the time for all that. There was another option, something different, something social. But only if Amanda was up for it. “Yea, maybe? Maybe I do. Might be more of a distraction. Dunno if it’ll work yet, but it's worth a try.”

“Just want to be where you are, Eddie. That’s all.” And even though she was resting her head against the seat with her eyes shut, he still felt like she was watching, waiting. For him to deny her, maybe? He wasn’t sure.

So, Eddie did what came naturally, pressing a kiss to her forehead, one to the very tip of her nose, “Sounds good to me, Miss Mandy.”

The radio was on low, barely audible over the van’s heater which was working really hard at filling the space with warmth, but all Eddie could hear was Amanda’s tiny moans of relief that ebbed out of her with every peck. Somehow that made her lighter, unburdened, as he kissed lightly over the features of her face. He was starting to think that he was the cause of that small, satisfying sound. And Goddess above, but he wanted to hear it again. Soon Amanda was leaning into the palm of his hand, being petted like a contented kitty cat, soft and warm. He hated to do it, disrupt the peace, but he was going to need both of his hands to drive carefully enough that his precious passenger side cargo was safe. Though it went against all of his instincts, Eddie subtly lifted her chin, waiting for those eyes to flutter open, finding him in the pale dashboard light. This kiss was firmer, fiercer maybe, and Eddie allowed himself to steal a bit more of her taste with every pass of his tongue. If he was trying to wipe away some of her heartache and take it for himself, so what? Amanda didn’t object. It was the opposite, in fact, because her petal lips parted giving him the green light to kiss her properly.

With his tongue moving slowly, rhythmically, his hands cradled the back of Amanda’s head, her hair tangling under his touch. She tilted, attempting to offer him the exposed column of her throat, but Eddie held firm, steady. He wanted- no, needed, to show her how much he could care. Eddie took control and Amanda let him. Pouring his feelings into her like he could fill her up, refreshing what today had wilted, Eddie carefully, consciously, guided Amanda with gentle hands. Tipping her head back, swallowing her shallow whimpers, he damned the way his van was built. It kept him from getting his hands on her the way he wanted to and the denial was frustrating. She felt it too, her own hands flexing, uselessly, unsure of where to touch Eddie. The sounds Amanda made, music in their own right, became higher pitched, whinier, the longer Eddie limited where and how she could move. Entirely at his mercy, when she melted into him, a strangled sob, “Eddie, please.” it took all the willpower he possessed to keep his ass in the driver’s seat. Breaking away was hard but Eddie was harder. He couldn’t help the raw want that Amanda created in him. She was vulnerable, open and she was here, with him. Letting Eddie Munson kiss her, touch her, talk to her. The seeds in his heart were sprouting already.

Still, if he didn’t stop now, they were going to be late. And Eddie would hate for Amanda to make a bad first impression. Reluctantly, he thumbed at her bottom lip, his fingers lifting her chin, “I’m sorry, sweet thing, but we have to get a move on.” Petulant, Amanda huffed out her short lived displeasure. Her lids were heavy against the heightened color of her cheeks. Eddie hadn’t thought she could look more beautiful, yet, here she was, begging him for more without making any noise. It would have been much too easy to pull her to his chest and never let her go. Battling with his greedy gargoyle, Eddie shook his head, giving Amanda a shy grin, “Sit back, huh babe? And, here-” leaning across her, Eddie snagged the shoulder belt, pulling it snugly over Amanda, “-lemme get you buckled in.”

“Ok, yea. Thank you. Ya know, for everything, Eddie.” There was no fight in her now, just comfortable compliance while she let Eddie baby her a bit. She was still riding a wild combination of elation and heartbreak, Eddie knew that, but he couldn’t help staring at the pretty girl in his front seat. Linking his hand with hers, squeezing her fingers, “For you, Mandy? Shit. I’d do anything.”

—

Amanda was dreaming. She was so sure that what was happening couldn’t possibly be real life, because her life wasn’t like this- full of secret smiles and silly in-jokes. Tiny touches that bordered on too much, lingering kisses that were definitely not enough. This had to be someone else’s life. Only, when she pinched herself, the vibration of pain was real. She had waited approximately ten seconds to call Eddie once she'd gotten home from the disaster practice, flinging her bag off in a huff and collapsing onto her tragically broken-in couch. Even Armando the Wonder Cat knew to steer clear, his one good eye looking her over before deciding to retreat into the bedroom. Amanda couldn’t blame him. The waves of despair, anger and sadness kept rolling over her. So, for ten seconds she deliberated. Make the call or don’t. Dial him up or wait around for his nightly call. And she only let her mind go for ten seconds because Amanda was not the sort of lady who put their problems on other people. Her life was entirely the opposite, really. She held the secrets of the folks around her, burdened with their picadillos and problems like an emotional pack animal on a mountainous trail. Having learned through painful trial and egregious error that sharing her own worries was too much to expect in former friends, Amanda didn’t want to unload a no good, terrible, horrible, very bad day onto a guy who she’d only been seeing for what, two weeks now? Still, she needed someone to hear her side of the story. To commiserate. To sympathize with where Amanda was coming from and validate her choices. To distract her or make her feel better, hell, maybe both?

Plus, she reasoned, Eddie was very easy to talk to, something he proved at the diner and during every conversation since then. That alone was enough to pick up the handset and circle the dial. Sure, her fingers nervously drummed along the tattered wool plaid of the couch’s arm as she waited through ring after ring after ring, but the reward was hearing Eddie’s mid-range rumble when the receiver connected, “Big Ed’s House of Horrors! We scare because we care! How can I haunt you tonight?” He sounded so happy. So full of life and warmth and all the lovely things that for an over long second Amanda couldn’t speak. Wouldn’t, knowing that she had the power to put out his beautifully blazing fire with the rain cloud of her shitty night. “Amanda? Is that you? Are you ok?” There was genuine worry in his voice and that cracked through the fog of her self doubt. Shaky but forcing herself to sound light-hearted, she managed, “Hey Eddie.” Eddie was not buying what she was trying to sell, because he sounded even more upset when he asked in a rushed tone, “What’s wrong, babe?” “Just-” pausing to drag in a ragged breath then another, Amanda barely managed to keep the sob inside herself, “-a real shitty day.” “I’ll be right there.” She hadn’t even had to ask him. Eddie just came. And when she was inside his van she thanked him with her mouth, parted and plush, feeling herself relax just being near him. Taking charge, Amanda gladly relinquished her head and heart to whatever Eddie Munson had in mind. Settling back into the seat, she felt the press of his fingers against her own, happy to be in this place with someone who was just for her. Only for Amanda, utterly and entirely. She didn’t ask any questions when Eddie pulled away from her place, the van rattling down the familiar streets of town. His music played, the volume lower than ever before, but Eddie’s hand never left hers, grounding them together. There was no conversation but it wasn’t weird. It was nice, calming really, and Amanda willed all of the day’s tension out of her shoulders as Eddie drove. They’d taken a turn or two, sliding onto the main drag where Family Video and the arcade flashed their glowing signs. Sensing the van slowing down, she turned Eddie’s direction, “Um, we getting groceries?” When he said he had a plan, Amanda hadn’t anticipated a trip to the market, which must have shown on her face because Eddie chuckled and lifted their knotted hands so that he could brand a kiss onto her skin, “I’m on snack duty.” “Snack duty? Snacks for what, exactly?” Sheepish now, the fringe of his bangs made those wide brown eyes look rounder than usual, “So, you can totally say no, I know you’ve had a shitty day and I don’t want to make it worse. But, it’s just, well, my friends and I, we kinda have this weekly tradition. We get a movie, some junk food and, ya know, hang out.” “Oh, shit. I didn’t mean to like interrupt your plans-” Waving a ringed hand in Amanda’s face, Eddie stalled her sentence, “No, no. Don’t. It’s not like that.” Swiveling in his seat to make sure that Amanda was really looking at him, he carried on, words falling out of his mouth faster and faster, “See, we- uh, this group of people, we’re like more than friends. They’re sorta my family? “And, we’ve been through some shit together. Real bonding type stuff, right? So, Harrington, who you’ll meet, if you want to come, which I really hope you do- anyway, Harrington is like, hey let’s do this movie night thing and whoever can come comes and if you can’t, it’s no big deal. “Only, he never buys the good snacks. It’s always microwave popcorn and M&Ms and shit, but no sour cream and onion chips? What’s that about? And, sorry to say, but I’m a Twizzler guy and Robin, uh, yea, she’s so cool, you’re gonna like her, but like she brings Red Vines. Red Vines! So, yea-” And now that he was running out of steam, Eddie seemed to realize just how long his tirade had gone on, embarrassment tinting his cheeks pink in the glow of the store’s lit up sign as his always moving hands dropped limply, “-We need snacks, good ones, hence the grocery store trip.” Amanda had never heard anything so heart warming or chaotic in her entire life. He wanted her to meet his friends, no, his family. Grabbing for him, Amanda let her fingers notch between his, “Does that mean I can get some Goobers? ‘Cause I sorta love chocolate covered peanuts.” Watching the dimples of his smile deepen was becoming one of her favorite things, so she wasn’t disappointed when Eddie’s grin widened, “Oh, absolutely you can.” It didn’t take long to march along the aisle loaded with bags of tortilla chips, assorted tinned dips and packages of cookies. By the time they reached the check out, the basket Eddie had resting on the bend in his elbow was overflowing with rubbish treats and a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew, something he insisted was essential, before grabbing a Kit-Kat bar with a shrug, “For Robin. She’s picky.” His thoughtfulness shouldn’t be so surprising, but Amanda was continually amazed at the small gestures that came naturally to Eddie, like remembering to grab someone’s favorite candy bar. No, he seemed perfectly content to spoil everyone he knew, including Amanda. Anything that she dared to look at during their shopping spree somehow found its way into the purchase pile, which explained the box of Cookie Crisp cereal, sack of rainbow marshmallows and family size bag of pretzel twists which Eddie insisted on paying for, “Hey, lemme do this, alright?” “But there’s no way we’re going to eat all this, is there? Is there?” Amanda was half horrified, half hopeful at the prospect. Clicking his tongue as he handed off a wad of cash to the vested cashier, Eddie leaned into her ear, husking low, “All this and more, Mandy. Wait ‘til you see what Nance and Jonathan roll up with, it’s wild!” He did let her carry one of the bags, the lightest one of course, because Eddie wasn’t a jerk. Though he did bump against her hip with every step they took towards his van, the brown paper sacks rustled as she squealed playfully, “Eddie! Jeez!” “What? Is it my fault that you can’t seem to walk in a straight line?” “Hey, I can walk in a line!” “Coulda fooled me, sweet thing.” It was a comment dripping with flirtatious energy as Eddie loaded their purchases into the back giving Amanda time to eyeball the man in front of her. Frankly, she was mesmerized with how his body moved. The way his leather jacket sleeves rode up, revealing loops of chain that formed a bracelet around his wrist, a black bat, one of many, flying just under the cuff. It was striking. Something about how those hands looked so rough and raw, calloused from guitar strings, nails split from over washing because getting the grease off is hard on delicate skin. Yet, for Amanda they were also achingly gentle. Eddie’s touch was quiet, calming, even if the man doing the touching was normally a riot of movement and motion. She was so lost in the small things that made up Eddie Munson that Amanda didn’t realize he had crowded into her, the inside panel of the van’s backdoor digging into the space between her shoulder blades, those clever, distracting fingers grazing her waist. Amanda could say something. She could tell Eddie exactly where her wayward brain had wandered, but he already seemed to know. His look clouded over into something darker, duskier, and it caused the muscles in Amanda’s belly to tighten reflexively. Normally so smiley, Eddie’s jaw was tense, his breathing short. It made her think about a hungry animal that’s found its dinner, just waiting for the right second to snap their jaws shut. “Eddie?” But it’s barely a whisper. She didn’t need volume to be heard when he was standing this close, those narrow hips of his resting against her own, pinning Amanda in place.

Dropping further into her space, his nose brushing her own, “Yea, Mandy.”

Her palms skated over the busted leather of his belt, fingers hooking into the loops and tugging Eddie closer. Notching her head higher, Amanda let out a sound somewhere between a whimper and a whine, licking over her lips, “Will you-” “What do you need, pretty lady? I’ll give you anything you want. Promise.” And god, he smelled so good, Amanda ground her pelvis into his, panting now, “Kiss me, yea?” “Thought you’d never ask, sweetheart.” Only, it didn’t end at kissing. Not tonight when Amanda’s mind was overloaded from worry and sadness, her body ready to take charge. Her fingers latched onto the denim vest he always seemed to have on, wrinkling the heavy fabric with her grip, needing Eddie closer and closer. Needing him inside of her where the wounds of everyday living threatened to rupture, bursting Amanda apart at the seams. Eddie’s arms posted over her shoulders, giving Amanda the chance to wrap her hands around his forearms, as he let his lips travel from her mouth to the hinge of her jaw. Biting gently at the sensitive skin there, he licked against her ear, making Amanda shiver. Deeper than she’d ever heard, Eddie grumbled, “You just taste so sweet, Mandy. Like a cupcake or some shit. Makes me think-” Sounding more than a little possessed herself, she answered innocently, “Think about what, Ed?” “How your body tastes.”

Said body reacted on instinct. Her thighs squeezed together and the breath caught in her lungs making her stutter dumbly, “Uh, wh- what?” His swagger was in full swing now that he was free to move outside of the van’s front seat. Grin showing too much teeth as Eddie looked down at her like she was on the menu, Amanda’s heart beat wildly at the idea that she just might be. “Get a room, pervs!” A shout from across the parking lot made both of their heads swivel. Eddie, shielding Amanda from anyone’s view, answered, “Go fuck yourself dickhead!” “Nice language, asshole!” From behind his shoulder Amanda heard the slam of a car door and a rapidly firing engine. The unwelcome interruption peeling off into the autumn night. Unable to suppress her giggle, Amanda drew Eddie’s attention back to herself, “Maybe they have a point?” “Yea, Mandy? What’s that, huh?” Looking around at the nearly empty parking lot, the bright lights beaming down in organized rows, she shrugged, “This isn’t really the best place to uh, get all, ya know, romantic.” Standing too close, breathing her air, Eddie pushed a shock of hair behind her ear, “I may have an answer for that.”

Who knew Amanda Patterson would love kissing in a rusting out van so much? Meeting Eddie’s scalding mouth with her own in a space smelling of motor oil and boy sweat, trying not to kick over the bags of groceries they had recently bought, Amanda considered this a sacred space. Holy. A moving monument to the feelings she could feel growing steadily stronger every time she was around Eddie.

Feelings she was nearly desperate to explore further, her hand trailing down Eddie’s back, dragging him tighter by the belt loop of his jeans. The leather was worn in, soft and supple, as she traced his waist before gripping the cooler metal of his handcuff buckle. A firm hand gripped her wrist, foggy breath unfurling against her cheek in playful pants, “Mandy? Whatcha doin’?” “Don’t you want to-” looking up at Eddie’s sweat damp skin from under her lashes, Amanda cooed her question, “-ya know?” A groaned laugh forced Eddie’s head back, his neck exposed, and Amanda didn’t hesitate to put her lips on his Adam’s Apple, sucking lightly. She could feel every inch of Eddie where his hips straddled her wide thigh, the thought making her throat dry as she mewled, “‘Cause I want to- I want you, Eddie. Please?” “Fuck, Mandy, of course I want you- want to do it. Just-” rolling onto his back and taking his warm hands and pink lips with him, Eddie stared up at the exposed metal roof, chest pumping quickly, “-not here, ya know?” Leaning up on her elbow, fingers spread wide over the expanse of Eddie’s chest, she nodded, accepting his comment quietly. And he must have recognized the bruising brittle texture of her silence because he sat up, holding her hand over his heart. “Baby, you have no idea how much I want- how much I need-” but the sentence trailed off as Eddie dragged Amanda’s palm lower, lower, lower, the hard heat of his desire undeniable. “And that’s because of, of me?” Wispy, the whisper carried over the thinning distance between her mouth and Eddie’s ear. Amanda sounded almost unsure, like she didn’t entirely believe it. Like she couldn’t believe Eddie might want her as much, in the same ways that she did, only to find out that she was dead wrong. The evidence was stiff and throbbing below her. Groaning when her fingers reflexively pushed against his straining length, Eddie gritted through clenched teeth, “Yes, Mandy. And it’s like this all the time.” Giggling, feeling a bit powerful from the knowledge, Amanda ran her nails over the stressed denim, nipping at Eddie’s collarbone through a smile. He bucked his hips into the friction, an embarrassing sound breaking from the back of his throat, “Fuck- I think you’re tryin’, tryin’ to kill me, baby.” Shaking her head ‘no’, biting her bottom lip, Amanda tipped her head like she did when there was a question worth asking hiding on her tongue, “You really do want to- with me, I mean?”

“Uh huh. Someplace nice. Soft. That, ya know, smells better than my dumpster on wheels.” Eddie gently shifted them both so they were sitting up, shoulders knocking against each other in the stillness of the grocery store parking lot, not looking at each other, but still touching. “I- I wanna make you feel special, like how you make me feel. And this-” Eddie’s hand waved at the dented walls, “-isn’t special enough. Ya know what I mean?” Her head fit perfectly into the notch between Eddie’s chin and his shoulder. Laying there, his heartbeat below her ear, a leathered arm around her back, Amanda agreed with a hum, “It’s more than ok, Eddie. It sounds pretty freakin’ great, actually.” A sweaty press of his lips to her forehead precedes the air stealing one armed hug that Eddie trapped her in, their combined laughter filling the cool cargo space.

— They were late for movie night anyway. Not by hours, but late enough that Robin was practically pacing the hallway at Harrington Manor, “Where the hell have you been, Munson? Dingus here was worried!” “Worried? No. No way. And you’re the one who was pacing by the door, waiting for a Kit-Kat, not me.” Steve’s response came from deeper in the house, maybe the kitchen, and it sounds defensive against Robin’s obvious and erroneous assertion. Eddie knew it was all an act though. Robin liked to fuss over him and Steve liked to fuss along with her. It was part of being loved by this motley crew of fantastic people, having a mom and dad who were actually years younger, but cared with all their hearts. “Uh, sorry? I had to pick up a stray.” God, he loved the reaction that got. Stopping dead still, Robin’s bright eyes flared comically, “You- you brought someone to movie night? STEVE!! Get in here!!” “What? What happened?” Steve slid into the foyer on socked feet, knocking into Robin clumsily, worry lines etched into his handsome face. “Munson has a date.” Her tone was playful, an ashy eyebrow lifted in cartoonish glee as Robin grinned at the metal head still standing in the doorway. Steve’s head whipped toward his friend, luscious locks flying, all traces of fear erased. In their place genuine curiosity bloomed, “You do? Uh, you did? Tell us man! Who is this mystery date?” “Can I put this shit down first?” He felt Amanda’s fingers tense in his grip, Eddie’s posturing keeping her out of view for another few seconds while he balanced his two bags of junk food. “Nuh uh. Spill the beans.” “Don’t listen to Robin man, give me that.” Steve swooped in, taking one of the bags from Eddie’s arms and moving back down the hall to give everyone a little more room. It allowed Eddie to pull Amanda forward, her natural shyness keeping her wrapped snugly around the taller guy, as he tried to get past Robin without dropping anything. “Guys, this is uh, this is Amanda Patterson. Mandy, these are my um, obnoxious friends, Steve and Robin.” “Hi.” Smacking Eddie’s arm loudly, Robin practically squealed, “Eddie! She’s so cute! You’re so cute! Are you sure you’re with this guy?” “Ouch! Hey Buckley, I’m standing right here and can totally hear you.” She just rolled her eyes, grabbing Amanda by the arm and dragging her towards the palatial dining room, away from where Steve was unloading the treats Eddie had delivered. Eddie let her pass, flashing a small but encouraging smile in her direction as Amanda was yanked away, Robin’s mouth already going a mile a minute with questions and quips. He already missed her. “So?” Steve was leaning across the marble countertop, his elbows supporting his weight as he stared smugly at his friend. Grabbing for a glass, Eddie answered over his shoulder, “So what, Steve?” “How long has this-” he moved his hands between Amanda, caught up in Robin’s web and unable to get away, and Eddie, “-been going on?” Obviously, there were going to be questions. Eddie knew that and thought he had prepared for the inevitable interrogation that bringing Amanda to movie night would inspire. Still, the dramatic demon that lived inside of him wanted to drag this out, really savor the moment where he did what so many of the people around him thought was impossible: bring home a girl. So, Eddie took his time filling the glass with ice and slowly opening the electric green bottle of soda, keeping an even gaze on Steve the entire time. Only when he was satisfied with the fizzing head on his drink, did he slurp down a sip, shrug, and answer, “Uh, like two weeks now I guess.” “Two weeks!” It wasn’t shouted, but it was as close as Steve could get before drawing Robin’s attention. “Yea?” “Well, were you gonna tell us about her? About your girlfriend?” Girlfriend. The word alone conjured up images of high school dances and misguided make out sessions under the bleachers. But was there a better word? Damned if Eddie could think of one. “I just did, Steve.” “No, like when? When were you going to tell us that you met someone?” Stretching back, Steve took another good look over Amanda, now pouring a bag of Doritos into a dish on the dining room table, before adding with an appreciative air, “A very pretty someone with a great butt-” “Hey. Eyes on me, Cassanova. You’re my friend so I’m gonna give you that one, but that's the only time I wanna hear about you looking at Amanda’s ass.” Surrendering, Steve lifted his hands with a smirk that was too handsome by a mile, “Fair enough. But like, what’s the deal with Mandy? You guys really a serious thing?” Eddie let his hip carry his weight, shifting so he could spy on her and Robin, “Yea. Yea, man. I think we are. Remember that uh outdoor concert thing?” When Steve nodded, crunching around a handful of pretzels, Eddie’s stare met his friend’s, “I went for her. I mean, I had already bumped into her at The Music Shop and she told me about her show, so- I went.” “Aha! Henderson told me there was a girl involved, but then, you never said anything. Figured he was full of shit.” Eddie’s hair shook as he laughed lightly, “Nope. Kid was dead on with that. Anyway, I’ve sorta been seeing her ever since that night.” Once more, Steve’s eyes traveled from his old friend to Amanda and he wasn’t entirely surprised to see that her own gaze was locked on the leather and denim clad dude already adding more Mountain Dew to his glass as if Eddie was a knight from one of those novels he loved so much. He knew the look. Steve had been on the receiving end of it more times that he could count, speaking volumes silently and boy, was he happy for Eddie. “Wow. That’s- shit, man, I’m happy for you.” “She’s totally amazing, Harrington. I-” nervousness crept into the older guy’s voice as he peered down at the beige tiled kitchen floor, “-I don’t want to fuck it up.” Smooth and slick, Steve swung around the island counter, elbowing him roughly in order to get his full attention, “You won’t man. You won’t.” “You sure about that? Us Munson’s do have a way of-” “No. No way. I’m not gonna hear that shit. The only Munson you are connected to is Wayne, and he’s one the best men I’ve ever known. He took you in, after all.” and when he saw that his joke had landed, Steve bumped Eddie again, “You’re my friend, man. You deserve good things.” “Shit, why do you have to say stuff like that?” “What? You get choked up on me?” “Nope. Never.” But it was clear that he had. Something about Steve pointing out that maybe, just maybe, Eddie Munson was good enough for a girl like Amanda made him believe it too. “Good. Hey, Mandy? What kind of movies do you like?” With a wicked grin, Steve picked up a bowl of popcorn and headed straight towards Eddie’s girlfriend. — Robin Buckley could talk. Thankfully, Amanda was an immaculate listener. The entire time that Eddie stood by the large stainless kitchen sink, Robin was rambling, moving from one topic to another seamlessly, stopping just long enough to draw breath. But, honestly, it was refreshing. Amanda found that she had things to add to the tirade that flowed constantly, asking her own questions here and there, including, “How long have known-” “Eddie? God, years. I mean, we went to high school together, but then, Eddie was in high school way longer than anyone should ever truly be. He told you that, right?” without waiting for a response, Robin carried on, “Anyway, I knew Stevie first. We worked together at the mall, slinging ice cream and busting balls. Then, well, some shit happened but he and I became platonic life partners and have remained entirely co-dependent since then.” “And Eddie-” “Oh, well, Eddie joined our group a bit later, but hey, ya know, the more the merrier. Honestly, he’s just the best guy, ya know? Of course you do, obviously, you’re like dating him or whatever. Wait, are you dating?” There was a longer pause this time as it appeared that Robin was actually expecting an answer, so Amanda dipped her head, a pleased pull on her lips, “Yes. Yea, we are. We have been since-” “Good! I mean, he’s been by himself for so long. Not like, alone alone, more like just solitary, ya know what I mean? Steve, he meets girls all the time and-” she rolled her eyes at the romantic debacles of her buddy, “-is still searching for his soulmate or whatever, but Eddie, he’s just been biding his time. Maybe-” This time Amanda cut in, “Maybe waiting for the right woman?” Snapping her fingers, Robin grinned broadly, “Yes! Exactly!” She felt the weight of Eddie’s eyes and turned to find Steve looking her way. And yes, Amanda wouldn’t deny that he was a pretty boy, all swooping hair and fine features, but she could honestly say that he wasn’t her type at all. At least not anymore. Now she wanted something rougher. Untamed. Wild and free with a deep soul. Amanda wanted Eddie Munson. Swallowing, she willed her mind to refocus on Robin’s rambling, but Steve interrupted, calling out, “Hey Mandy, what kind of movies do you like?”

“Uh, Oh, well, I like all kinds really.” “Top three, go!” It was Robin’s favorite way to vet new people and Amanda felt like it was a test, one she didn’t want to fail for Eddie’s sake. “Ok, wow, um, Casablanca, that’s like a classic.” Robin and Steve shared a happy glance. It was obviously a good choice and a sign of Amanda’s excellent taste in movies. But she was into more than that and thought it about for a second, nibbling on her bottom lip before adding, “I really liked Caddyshack, if I’m being honest.” Steve gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. Robin wrinkled her nose. Apparently comedy was a dividing topic. “And, shit, I guess I’d have to say Star Wars. But, like all three of them. Princess Leia is a total badass.” “Oh my god. She’s perfect.” There was awe in Robin’s tone as she made her declaration, staring at Steve with her hands clasped to her chest. Agreeing with a tilt of his head, Steve grinned at Eddie, “Absolutely and totally perfect. Munson, you have to like, I don’t know, marry her. Right now. If you don’t-” Eddie stepped further into the room at that moment, his arm curving protectively around Amanda’s waist, his voice full of friendly warning, “Do not finish that sentence, Steve.” “I’m just saying!” Eddie pulled Amanda closer and she let herself tuck into his side, cheeks hot from the insinuations of his friends. Still, she couldn’t help sassing back, “What makes you think we aren’t already married, huh?” That stunned the dynamic duo into shocked silence and despite knowing that they weren’t related, the look on their faces was so similar that Amanda could have sworn Steve and Robin were siblings. “What?” “No way!” Simpering, Amanda looked up at Eddie, “Do you want to tell them, darling? Or should I?” Those damn dimples deepened, a clear sign that Eddie was on board with her plan for messing around with his friends. Both of his arms twined around Amanda, dragging her as close as possible and his impish gaze never left her eyes, “Yea, ok, Mandy. You’re right, honey. We should just tell them everything, right?” “Uh huh.” She lifted up on her toes to press a small kiss to his cheek, snuggling into Eddie’s embrace and really selling their ruse. Turning to face a silent and still Robin and Steve, Eddie cleared his throat, his tone pitched to seriousness, “You guys-” looking at Amanda who nodded reassuringly, he carried on, “-you should know- what first class suckers you are!” A shower of tossed popcorn met their announcement as Steve yelled, “You shit head! I- We, like, really believed you! Both of you!” Robin’s face had gone over red, her loud laugh echoing around the well appointed room, “Shit, Eddie. That was a good one. You two- you’re both troublemakers, aren’t ya?” Groaned out laughter filled the space and Amanda put her hands up in surrender, “I couldn’t help it. You guys were just asking for it, but like, sorry if it was too much.” “No, Mandy. It was, ya know, right in line with the sorta crap Munson’s always pulling.” Steve gently shoved his friend, adding, “Any chance he has to make things memorable, he’s gonna take it.” “Hey, it was her idea! I just ran with it. So-” bowing deeply at Amanda, Eddie grabbed her hand as he straightened up and kissed her knuckles, “-bravo, my lady. Well played.” And the theater kid that lived dormant inside Amanda preened, “Why thank you, sir. Twas nothing.” “Jesus, Robs, there’s two of them now.” “Yea, how are we gonna live through this?”

— Jonathan and Nancy arrived shortly after, equally as excited to meet Amanda, and carrying a sack of homemade cookies from Mrs. Wheeler along with two large pizzas. Catching Amanda’s eyes from across the room, he nodded their direction and mouthed silently, “told you so.” Shaking her head as she bit into the fat of her bottom lip, Amanda handed a plate over to Robin, asking for a slice. Even at a distance Eddie could feel the thing that tied them together. Connected to each other despite sitting on opposite sides of the room, he found that anytime his face sought hers, he found it. Smiling, laughing and once even spitting soda from her mouth after one of Steve and Robin’s Scoops Ahoy stories got out of hand. Now, Nancy was almost interrogating his girl in the very specific way she had, making every question seem like it was going to be on the midterm final. Jonathan had offered a thumbs up when Amanda wasn’t looking, a small gesture that Eddie appreciated for its simplicity. Steve was playing host, enjoying running around and refilling drinks for everyone while Robin was doing her best to distract him from blatantly staring at this ethereal creature who was full of sweet smiles and thoughtful inquiries to the people he loved the most.

It made Eddie feel grounded, right, having her here with these guys. Friends who had seen him at his very best and very worst. That they liked her as much as he did was the cherry on top of his sundae. And they even managed to keep the theatrics to a minimum, opting instead to settle in for movie night instead of sharing shameful stories or flipping through awkward photo albums from days gone by. Honestly, it was a bit of a relief. Tonight’s movie selection was in Harrington’s hands and they were out of vetoes, so his choice was unchallenged per the rules of their friendship. And while not everyone was over excited to see One Crazy Summer, as a group they all loudly agreed to give it a chance. Eddie didn’t care what they decided to watch, he was only interested in Amanda.

Eddie was all too aware her day had ended on a sour note. When he suggested that she come to movie night he was half certain that she would say no, not wanting to be out when she was feeling so low. But what he was discovering about Miss Amanda was that she trusted Eddie. If he thought a night with his friends was going to be worth it, then she was all in. Not once had she mentioned her band. Not once had she made the conversation about her and her troubles. And she could have, absolutely, because his gang of goofballs were the type to sit through long winded explanations and offer the best advice possible. Goddess knows Eddie had used their free therapy sessions on more than one occasion. But Amanda had, instead, seemingly let go of the hurt and the pain in favor of being here, with him. She shrugged the worries from earlier off, along with her jacket, and made herself at home on the Harrington sofa. Pressing herself small against the left arm with one leg folded underneath her and ample space next to her on the cushions. Eddie could tell that she expected him to sit at her side. Had planned on it, actually. But Jonathan was already pulling Nancy into his lap, taking up the middle seat and Robin had staked her claim, draping herself over the other arm of the sofa. Steve was slipping the tape into the VCR, blabbing about how the movie blended animation and live action, and how cool that all was when Eddie dropped to the floor at Amanda’s feet. “Hey?” It was softly worded one syllable question that asked so much more. Shrugging, but smiling up at her, “I don’t mind the rug.” “You sure?” She asked because she clearly wasn’t and Eddie liked her even more because of that. “Uh huh.” Flattening his back to the couch, Eddie tipped his head up, his face framed by those wild locks. He was tall enough to let his cheek lay against the warm width of her thigh, his arm wrapping around her calf. Unable to sit still, Eddie’s fingers traced words and shapes into the exposed skin of Amanda’s ankle, a mindless movement that was rewarded with a breathy exhale from his girlfriend. After Steve plopped into the armchair, grumbling about being boxed out of the comfy couch, the opening credits rolled. There were some chuckles as the narrator started talking about fuzzy bunnies and love, so Eddie wasn’t entirely paying attention to Amanda, beyond the supple sensation of having her so close. But then he felt her fingers running through his tangle of curls.

It started at the ends, Amanda twirling a strand or two around her index finger before letting the spiral unravel, only for her to do it again. Then she was raking back the soft tendrils, almost petting him like a shaggy dog, and it took all of Eddie’s self control not to start drooling like one. He was barely holding it together, the grip on her ankle tightening, until her fingernails dragged over his scalp. The tender touch sent electricity pulsing through his body, all that energy landing in the most conspicuous location making him squirm. Eddie felt it was only fair to return the favor, letting his warm palm ride higher under the hem of her jeans, sometimes using the rough edges of his fingernails to apply added pressure. She didn’t move away, in fact, it seemed like Amanda sought out more of Eddie’s barely there brushes, wiggling closer as the movie progressed. By the time the credits rolled on Demi Moore and John Cusack’s happy ending, Eddie’s head was laying in Amanda’s lap, her leg draped over his chest. Robin was asleep, had been since somewhere around the mid-way point of the flick, but then, so was Jonathan. The awake members of the party looked at each other, stifling a giggle. “I don’t know how she does it. Robin can sleep through anything, I swear.” Her platonic life partner ran a rough hand through his hair, looking down at her fondly. Nancy nodded at their slumbering friend, “Yea, but she’s cute and quiet when she’s knocked out.” Amanda leaned over, hoping only Eddie could hear her, and whispered, “Uh, think you can let me up for a trip to the ladie’s room?” “Nope. Sorry. I’m too comfortable.” And Eddie managed to snuggle in tighter, hugging Amanda’s leg to his chest, his cheek at the bend of her knee. Her giggle was quiet enough that it wouldn’t disturb the sleepers as she drawled, “Don’t make me laugh! I have to pee!” Of course, that made Eddie cling all the harder. Groaning at the precious public display of affection, Steve butted in, “I don’t want any accidents in here Munson. Let the poor girl up.” “Fine. Fine.” It was reluctantly said as he rolled to the side, giving his girl the chance to stand up. She used the top of his head as a ballast, steadying herself, as she asked their host, “Uh, which way?” Steve pointed down the hall, following Amanda’s retreating form with his thirsty eyes before turning to Eddie, “She seems really great man, like way out of your league.” A snort from the couch let him know that Nancy was also listening in, so Eddie tipped his head in that direction, “What? You agree with Sir Steve?” “Actually, no. I don’t. I think she’s kinda perfect for you. And honestly, it doesn’t matter what I think.” That made Eddie sit up straighter, already on defense, “Well, I was hoping to bring her around more and if you guys don’t-” “No, you misunderstood me. It doesn’t matter what I think because it’s pretty obvious.” Eddie exchanged a befuddled glance with Steve who shrugged, “What’s obvious?” “You’re clearly in love with her already.” Getting punched in the face would have been less dramatic to his psyche. Eddie immediately recognized that what Nancy was saying was the honest to goodness truth because that was her way, direct and to the point, but that didn’t make it easier for the boy from the wrong side of town to hear. Or believe. Or trust. Love didn’t come easy to a guy like Eddie. Guys with absentee parents who faded into memory long before lessons about connection could be learned. Guys who found their family through battle and blood, sacrifice and scars, not genetics. And any time he had even considered loving someone it managed to go south, and fast. “Shh! She could hear you!” Rolling her eyes, Nancy, still trapped in Jonathan’s sleepy grip, turned away from Eddie, “I don’t think it’s a surprise. In fact, she seems pretty smitten too.” “Smitten! Yes! That’s the word! She’s totally smitten for you, dude.” Steve snapped his fingers happily. Drawing his knees into his chest, Eddie dropped his forehead to the bony plates there, “Guys, I don’t know if-” “Can’t you just, like, I don't know, follow your heart here man?” Looking up at Steve standing in the doorway, holding up the wall with his right shoulder, Eddie raised his eyebrows, “My heart is not the most reliable of organs, Stevie. You know this. It made me think that I had a chance with Chrissy Cunningham and look what happened there.” Nancy winced, an audible huff of surprise leaving her lips as Steve dropped into a crouch at Eddie’s side. “Hey. No. That- that was different. You know that, Eddie.” “I know what you’re saying, but, like, what if-” “What if? What if the sky falls? Or, or you get hit by a bus? Or, ya know, some other fucking awful thing happens? Are you not going to try because of ‘what if’?”

“Nancy, I don’t remember you being such a great orator before.” That made his friend smirk, full of sass when she snapped back, “Fuck you, Munson. You aren’t the only one capable of verbal glory, ya know?” That made him snicker, rebalancing a bit of the energy in the room. It also made him courageous enough to ask, “So, you guys like her too, then?” “Like her? Shit, when you screw it up, I’m going to swoop in so fast-Hey!” Eddie had pushed Steve off his feet, forcing him to the floor with a grunt and thump. The noise woke up Robin, blinking through bleary eyes, “What’s happening?” Steve had quickly maneuvered around Eddie, trying to work the boy into a headlock, only to be stalled by the placement of the couch. Swinging to his knees, Eddie, gentler this time, tackled Steve around the knees, bumping them into the coffee table and Jonathan at the same time. “What? What the hell?” His voice was froggy but that only made everyone else laugh harder. “Boys! Boys! Enough of this!” Robin’s motherly tone crept into her half hearted attempt at breaking up their roughhousing as she gingerly stepped around them. “Uh uh, Buckley!” Eddie and Steve, working together, each snagged a pant leg and before she could stop it, Robin was in the middle of a dog-pile free for all. Nancy shook her head at the noises; squealing laughter, threats to keep on tickling, a groan from one of the boys after a misplaced kick. Jonathan flopped back into the couch cushions, an amused smile on his face, as Nance skirted the squirmish, “Anyone need anything?” — Amanda washed her hands in the overly ornate sink, overcome by the well appointed space that was so pretentious in a way that Steve Harrington was not. In a shocking twist of fate, she found that all of Eddie’s friends were far kinder and welcoming than she could have imagined. Each one of the gang had made her feel accepted, and not just because Amanda was with Eddie. An excited smile reflected back from the gilded mirror. Eddie. Just the thought of his relaxed, easy grin made Amanda happy. “Oh! I didn’t see you, I'm so sorry!” Opening the bathroom door, Amanda was shocked to find Nancy standing in the hallway, seemingly waiting for her. Waving her off with a raised hand, Nancy dismissed the apology, “No, I’m sorry for scaring you!” As she moved past Amanda, one hand on the ornate woodwork of the doorway, Nancy turned to face the newcomer, “Uh, Amanda?” “Yea?” It took the brunette a second to crystalize her thoughts, allowing worry to slide down Amanda’s spine in the growing silence, but once she had, Nancy’s searching eyes found Amanda’s. In a steady voice, she started, “Eddie- he’s, well, he’s a really great guy.” Unsure of where this was going, Amanda swallowed thickly around the lump in her throat, encouraging Nancy to continue with a wordless nod. And Nancy did, explaining in her straightforward way, “We, uh, this group, we’ve been through quite a bit together. I’m not sure how much he’s told you-” She paused, perhaps expecting Amanda to volunteer some insight into what Eddie may or may not have shared. When she didn’t offer any response, Nancy carried on solemnly, her round eyes unwavering, “-But, Eddie- he’s faced more than most and lived to tell the tale. There was a time when he almost, uh, didn’t.” Amanda absorbed the words with an anxious knot coiling in her stomach, reading the implied message there while Nancy pressed on. Facing Amanda now, a firm look on her pinched face, sharp shoulders squared, “I won’t speak for everyone in there, I can’t, it isn’t my place. But you should know that beneath all of his, his bravado, Eddie is sweet. Tenderhearted. And I wouldn’t be the only one who would hate to see him get hurt.”

There was a grittiness to the way Nancy said it, not a threat, per se, but edged with a protective venom that was impossible to ignore. If Amanda wasn’t on the receiving end of her speech, she might have found it endearing. And it was, in a semi-scary kind of way. It really spoke to the love that Eddie’s found family had for him and clearly for each other.

All Amanda could do was blush hotly at the implied meaning for Nancy’s concern. The idea that she had the power to hurt Eddie, to cause him any kind of harm, had never crossed her mind. Yet, here she was, feeling like she had been put on the spot by the curly haired woman’s directness. Desperate to defend herself and her intentions with Eddie, Amanda stumbled over the sentences, not able to get the words out fast enough, “Nancy. I, oh my god, believe me, I know. I would never hurt him. I couldn’t. I- I love him too much.” It fell out of her mouth before her wayward brain could stop itself, confessing Amanda’s heart’s deepest secret to one of Eddie’s friends as if it were no more important than asking for a beer or to pass the chips. And maybe that’s what made it feel real enough for Nancy to offer an appraising smile, tilting her head towards Amanda, “Yea, I got that feeling.” Realization about what she had admitted out loud must have shown on Amanda’s face, because Nancy laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, “Hey, I’m not going to say anything to Eddie. That’s something for you two to talk about-” a half smile that spoke of shared secrets flooded Nancy’s face as she tacked on cheekily, “-if you can manage to do any talking when you’re, ya know, alone together.” And then she slipped into the bathroom leaving Amanda speechless and stunned in Steve Harrington’s hallway. — Eddie left the tickle torturing of Robin to her platonic soulmate, his stomach muscles aching from laughing so hard, “A drink. I need to wet my whistle. Buckley? Harrington? You guys good?” Had he planned on tiptoeing down the hall, eager to find Amanda and maybe press a pretty kiss to lips he was suddenly desperate for? No. But Eddie did it anyway.

And he would have followed his plan to the letter if he hadn’t overheard the conversation unfolding outside of Steve’s bathroom. Instead, he found himself tucked into the adjoining room’s entryway, holding his breath because the last thing Eddie wanted to do was interrupt. Not when Nancy was treading the line between welcoming Amanda and warning her to be good to her friend. But then Amanda’s voice fluttered, rushed but strong, as Eddie heard her say, “I’m in love with him.” Him. Eddie. Amanda had told Nancy that she couldn’t imagine hurting him because she was in love with him.

That was… unbelievable. Unreal. Unfathomable.

Footsteps moved his direction but Eddie didn’t hesitate. Snagging Amanda’s arm, he tugged her into the unused room, taking her bewilderment in stride. Pushing her into the wall making the sterling framed photos there jump, Eddie caged her under his narrow hips, his mouth silencing any of Amanda’s sounds.

Hot and hungry, Eddie was greedy with his lips, licking and kissing across Amanda’s. His hands tipped her chin, moving her to where he wanted, where he had the best angle for slipping his tongue over her own, the warm wet of her mouth open just for him. And unlike their spit swapping in this van, this was fevered, frenzied. Eddie kissed her like he might never get the chance again. He kissed her with all the love he felt, safe in the knowledge of Amanda’s feelings, even if they had only been shared with his friend in a hushed confession. Feelings he shouldn’t even know about since neither he or Amanda had talked about anything as serious as loving each other. Even if he was already madly, crazy, deeply in love with Amanda. How could he deny the woman with the gorgeous voice and expressive eyes that saw more in Eddie than he could see in himself? Not possible. Not even a little bit. Breathing hotly across her ear, acting boldly, Eddie did something he never expected to do, he told Amanda what his heart could no longer hold. Between hotly huffed breaths that moved the stray hairs on her cheeks, Eddie Munson fervently husked out his declaration, “I fucking love you, you know?” Panting from having the air kissed out of her lungs, Amanda slowly opened her eyes, taking in Eddie’s face with that questioning tilt of her head, “What? What did you say?” “You heard me, Mandy. I love you.” There was no dramatics at play, no flourished hang movements or silly voices. It was raw and real and terrifying. “I love you. So much, Eddie. It’s- it’s scary.” —

They wasted no time in saying their goodbyes, Eddie practically running to grab his stuff, dragging Amanda behind him in a rush of arms and socked feet. If his friends thought it was weird, they didn’t say so. Instead, Robin had squeezed Amanda in a tight hug, “It was so nice to meet you! Please come again! Eddie, you have to bring her next time too. Promise me!” “I will, Buckley. I swear to god, I will.” He mimicked a boy scout salute, snapping to attention and making Robin laugh, “Good!” Nancy and Jonathan had lingered in the hallway while they sorted out jackets and shoes, offering waves and kind words but they let Steve walk them outside. He’d draped his arm over Amanda’s shoulder, talking to Eddie the entire time, “Henderson’s gonna want an update on this, uh, situation. You know that right?” “Who’s Henderson?” Amanda asked innocently, stopping to look up at Eddie’s profile glowing yellow around the edges from the porch lights. The trio were standing at the passenger’s side door, Eddie already popping the handle, as Steve answered, “Uh, I’ll let Munson tell you all about him. He’s one of the nuggets. Great kid, amazing hair, attitude as big as his ego.” “That’s a fair description, but, like so many things, Sir Steve, there’s a bit more to the story than that.” A look passed between the boys, something unspoken but agreed upon and Amanda had the distinct impression that she had passed a test because the next thing she knew, Steve Harrington was wrapping her up in a bear hug. “Hey, Mandy, take care of this guy, ok? We kinda like him.” Solemnly, as if she was taking a sacred oath, Amanda pledged, “I swear I’m going to take care of him, Steve.” And, taking Eddie’s offered hand, Amanda stepped into the van. Lingering, Steve shut the door for her, leaning at the window, “Good. And if Eddie doesn’t take care of you, you know where I live.” The megawatt smile that had been dropping panties for the whole of the 80’s flashed solely for Amanda’s benefit, bringing heat to her cheeks. “Hey, Harrington?” Eddie had slid into the driver’s seat but bent forward to talk out of Amanda’s window. “Yea?” “Stop flirting with my girl.”

Oh, that only made Steve’s smirk widen, the patent charm practically oozing out of him, “Fine. Fine, whatever you want Eddie.” Turning his attention back to her, Steve kissed the back of her hand chivalrously, “Amanda, Mandy, it was lovely to meet you. Hope to see you again soon.” Tapping on the door frame twice Steve added, “Oh, Eddie man? Be good.” Grinning and goofy, Eddie started the van, ��Dude, you know I can’t be good, so I’ll be careful.” “And if you can’t be careful, name it after me.” They said it in unison, a chorus they had clearly repeated hundreds of times before, and even Amanda laughed at their brotherly bickering. But she got the last word. Wrinkling her nose up, swinging her head between the two goofballs, Amanda sighed, “Steve Munson? I’m not sure I like the sound of that.” Two pairs of eyeballs, stunned silent, turned her way before the cackling laughter started. Eddie threw his head back, long hair moving with every shake of his shoulders and Amanda found herself staring at the sight of his open, happy face. And Steve, recognizing that he had been dismissed, stepped away from the van, still smiling broadly, “Get outta here. Go home!”

—

Eddie only ran two stop signs before pulling up to Amanda’s apartment building. His heart was racing, the adrenaline making him feel higher than anything Reefer Rick had been lucky enough to sell, and he couldn’t hide the dimple deep smile that was plastered across his face. Amanda was in love with him! The gargoyle inside his heart was satisfied at last. Shifting into park, he twisted in his seat, already hating that he had to say goodnight. But the night wasn’t over yet, not when Amanda’s expressive eyes met his burnt brown sugar ones, “Wanna come inside?” “You’re serious?” He couldn’t help the giddy rush that fluttered through his gut at the idea of having Amanda alone in a comfortable place that hadn’t carried any of the gear or guys from Corroded Coffin. Holding out her little finger, Amanda lit up with a sweet smile, “I am. Promise.”

---

Thank you for reading! Part 3 is a work in progress!!

Want to read more? Please visit my Masterlist here!

My Minxes:

@thatsonezesty13 @sxlly-pxbble @kerri-leighjade @carleighsworld @mediocreaf @weird-stranger13 @cupiden @sereisstuff @elviqs @hevanleigh @ethereal-daydreamerr @armyangxls @alana-stewart @lonely-af-fangirl @darkhairedmenrule @b1tchbabytears @punishers-girl @ravencrap-hufflefuck @rosegoldarti @boeutiful @york-peppermint-patty @atlwhatevs @mermaidsandcats29 @aereth @drfrank211 @ladysteddie @friendly-neighborhood-ghoul @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore @sweetsweetjellybean @sammy-jo1977 @hiscrimsonangel

#eddie munson x plus size oc #eddie munson x plus size oc smut #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson rockstar #eddie munson rockstar au #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson slow burn #eddie munson romance #Eddie munson love story #EDDIE MY BELOVED #all eddie all the time #not over eddie munson

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pepsi-maxwell · 2 years ago

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Word +Ship Ask

Piss + gentleman's club (Chuck/OC)

softball + cmjf

thank you!! popping my chorange cherry with piss :') on form 💯

under a cut for length and omorashi/holding that isn't actualised

(cmjf + softball can be found here)

Chuck’s got a beer in his hand, watching Orange play GTA. They’re taking turns and swapping out every time one of them dies, which isn’t helped by Chuck drinking, because it fucks up his coordination and then he wipes out even quicker.

But he’s happy to watch Orange play, happy to keep getting him snacks, or something to drink, keeping him hydrated, because he’s a friend. They’re friends. This is what being a best friend is all about.

With the alcohol dulling his reactions, making everything a bit fuzzy, with the fact that Orange can be so fucking stoic at times, it takes him a while to realise that he’s not took a bathroom break in a while. That he’s shifting on the couch a lot more, pressing his thighs together at odd intervals. Continuing to play, not handing over the controller to let Chuck get into a shootout with the police and die immediately or something, and—

He can’t stop watching, mouth suddenly dry. Takes another swig of beer, and then upends it, downing the rest of the bottle, which gives him enough Dutch courage when Orange finally pauses the game, pushing himself to his feet, to grab his arm. To pull him back down. Put the controller back in his hands, and with more confidence than he feels, voice far lower than he’d expected, tell him to keep playing.

His heart is in his throat. Orange looks across at him, and Chuck can’t see his eyes through the sunglasses, but he can see his own expression reflected in the shades, shocked and flushed and afraid, like he may have just fucked up everything between them forever.

But Orange silently unpauses the game. Carries on playing. Presses his thighs together, a hint of red creeping up his neck under his t-shirt.

Chuck doesn’t even try to watch the game after that.

#fic snippet game #chorange #piss tag #translatedtranslatingtranslater #godiva writes

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blubushie · 9 months ago

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what sports have u played

Ah fuck uhhh

- 5-12yr I played baseball with the Pine Gap kids. This was also the only routine socialisation I had with other kids :D

- 12-13yr Started school for the first time and I played volleyball and also started track at 13 because my chest started feminising but I thought I was just fat and if I did track it'd not do that (nah mate turns out you're intersex)

- 14yr Went to softball on the girl's team

- 14yr Mid-season get kicked off the softball team cuz of intersexism (girl didn't like me cuz I was intersex and bitched about me) and immediately registered for baseball. This didn't bother me that much cuz by this time I was on T so I'd have to leave the team soon enough anyway

- 14-15yr Also get kicked off the baseball team for fighting because it turns out softball girl's brother was on the team and he started chucking balls at my head during practice and I fought him about it. THIS bothered me I love baseball :[

- Move back to US...

- 16-17yr Stop playing sport entirely, eat a lot from depression and gained a bit of weight, I became very sedentary but I kept walking, just didn't do sport

- 18yr Go back to Australia, my job became my sport and I lost all that weight from strenuous exercise over the first 4 months (stockwrangling is a lot of work, I wasn't eating much cuz I was busy, also don't do this it's not healthy)

- 18yr Start participating in rodeo competitively. Bull riding, bronc busting, horseback shooting.

- 18-23yr Still do competitive shoots, I haven't ridden in a rodeo in yonks but she'll be right, I still go to them :]

#blu whos

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thatstormygeek · 7 months ago

Text

Political TV is a venal game. It is nominally designed to inform the public, but it is actually conceived, packaged and broadcast to ensure, first, eyeballs on the screen and second, continuing access to the gets, a combination with one goal - to maintain or increase profits. When the history of this era is written, the venality of TV and the soullessness of the execs will be recorded as the main enablers of the rise of fascism in America. Like Chuck Todd, who she replaced as Meet the Press moderator, Welker has been savaged by anti-MAGAs for softballing Trump’s fascism. But it’s unlikely her banal style bothers her bosses. On the contrary it’s exactly what she’s supposed to do. Like the bankers and big American corporations still financing Trump’s Republican Party, TV execs need to hedge their bets now, in case he wins.

#us politics #nina burleigh

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shallowseeker · 10 months ago

Text

Continuing on the tragedy of Jack:

He's a war-son. He's a hero, and heroes die.

This legacy of heroism is...complicated.

DEAN (to John's grave): Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? (begins to cry while talking) What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? (pause) It's... (Dean's lips tremble. Silence. We hear the sky rumbling. Tears begins to falls on DEAN's cheek.) Yeah... DEAN wipes the tears on his cheeks. He turns around and walks away as the camera goes higher and we see him further and further up from the sky. (2x20)

And Mary's terminal heroism goes without saying:

MARY: I fought beside these people. I respect them. I respect their cause. You can’t expect me to just abandon them. SAM: No, Mom, that’s not -- You heard what Lucifer said. We have 31 hours -- MARY: I -- Sam...Dean...I know what you went through to come find me. [Dean scoffs at that. He is obviously upset.] But these people are being slaughtered. They need me here. DEAN: (getting angry) No, we need you, Mom. We do.

(13x22)

///

And what does Jack tell Dean about all of this, about his unhinged behavior and his cruelty?

"I'm okay."

It calls to mind how Dean told John. "It's okay."

And so, we have Dean as war-son telling John it's okay.

He TRIES TO BE okay being the heir to his burden, to his war. Tries to be okay inheriting John's tumultuous, tormentous legacy.

Same way that Jack tries to be okay inheriting Dean's legacy of self-sacrifice, tries to be okay inheriting Cas's Godstiel legacy. There's something horrific about inheriting your parents' battles and their wars, but it's a tale old as time.

And sometimes your regrets are so so much clearer in the rearview mirror.

JOHN: "I just want you to know...that I'm so proud of you."

Aside/// And perhaps that's not what Dean wanted to hear.

Dean didn't want pride. What he wanted was appreciation for his efforts. It's why in Sex and Violence, it comes out again: "It's nice to be appreciated for once."

Dean had a lot of swallowed-anger about his burden, sure. We see that in What is and Should Never Be in season 3. But also...deep down, he wanted to be appreciated. It was thankless work, caretaking. As it usually is.

So, that's what he tells Jack:

He tells him what he thought he wanted to hear about sacrifice:

THANK YOU.

But he can't hardly look him in the eye. His dissociation and sundering of Jack is a tedious house of cards.

And Jack looks away like, "That's it? What's all he's got?" Okay. Notice Jack is in darkness. He's swallowing all his real emotions as he gears up to play hero. And Dean looks down in shame--

Then he looks up, like Death, like Billie and says, "It's time." And then there comes the wound that can never truly be taken back: the lighting of the fuse. This war-time decision is perhaps Dean's most grievous "morale injury" to date.

And hopelessness is what Chuck's all about!

Here we see how different Sam and Cas feel about soul-bombs compared to season 11. It's so interesting!

We have Cas being a stern, more level-headed "father" than Dean at this point in time. The scene where Dean fails to prevent Jack from suicide and Cas re: the prospect of Sam doing it, says:

Up till this point Cas and Sam were both pretty on board with sacrificing Amara. Indeed both have been willing to sacrifice many, many people, including Dean.

But now, Sam and Cas work together to try on last hail Mary, but it's an incomplete Team Free Will, because Dean and Jack are (respectively) in the darkest places they're ever been:

So. While Cas may not be the most reliable judge of moral compasses (lol, Cas is alllll about moral relativism, per his own words to his doppelgänger in season 13), I agree that FOR ONCE, Sam's compass does seem to be the one that's functioning a little better today. At least today. (Tomorrow could just as easily bring out gremlin Sam.)

Hopelessness. Despair. Emptiness.

A father's duty; work and family and protection and--

Some things I keep thinking about:

And also:

It's too big. It's too big for everyone. These expectations. Work, provide stability, provide food/water/shelter, protect, preparation, take on the world, uphold the world.

It's too big for Dean. He's not strong enough.

Cas isn't strong enough.

But Cas's expectations got heavier and heavier. He was supposed to succeed where Henry failed. Where John failed. Kelly chose him. Dean chose him.

Cas was supposed to protect them, to protect Mary. And--

When Cas became a Father, he--

No one real can escape letting you down.

#complex john #complex dean #heroism

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secretswiftymarvelfan · 2 years ago

Text

Burnin’ Up - Firefigher!Chris AU (Part 5: Doughnut Squad)

A/N: This is a little pre-warning, this part deals with some very heavy topics so please read and heed the warnings given

Summary: The sergeant exam looms over your head so Benny convinces you to relax and take your mind off of it, however that is easier said than done.

Word Count: 8.9k

Warnings: Language! Angst! Chris and Y/N being assholes to each other! Injury to Character! Non-graphic description of Road Traffic Collision! Minor Unnamed character deaths! Grief! Mention of Parental death! Alcohol Consumption! (Let me know if I missed anything)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Meet the Characters!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

You groaned when you heard the chiming of the alarm on your phone ringing from your bedside table. Blindly reaching out you tapped on the screen not caring if you just hit snooze or turned it completely off, rolling over and burying yourself further under your duvet hoping to return to the world of dreamland.

It didn’t take you long to fall back asleep, quickly slipping into the world of dreams. Your dream starting off completely normal, you and your squad from the precinct hanging out at your regular watering hole. Conversation were indistinct, just white noise as you glanced around the bar.

You then felt large arms snake around your waist, you expected to flinch but you didn’t. Instead, you felt yourself melting into the touch, your hands running over the large arms, back leaning back into a warm broad chest. Your eyes fluttered shut and a smile pulled at you lips instinctually as you felt the stranger kiss the exposed skin at the crook of your neck, the comforting scent of him washing over you.

Sighing in content you glanced over your shoulder to see the stranger, jumping when you saw Chris smiling warmly at you. Your heart hammered in your chest as he cupped your cheek pressing a kiss to your forehead murmuring ‘hey sweetheart’ against your skin. Your eyes widened in shock as he pulled away before leaning back in, his lips heading towards your own.

They were mere millimetres from you when you woke with a start, sitting upright suddenly completely awake. Hand clutching your chest as it heaved, your heart still hammering in your chest. You shook your head as you tried to get the image out of your head, the feeling of being wrapped in his arms, but you couldn’t. What confused you the most was how natural it all felt, it was like you knew it was him from the moment his arms wrapped around you, yet you didn’t flinch, even once you saw his face.

You were so lost in your mind it took you a minute to realise that there was someone knocking on your door almost incessantly. Blinking a couple moment to get over your shock you quickly climbed out of bed grabbing a pair of short and a large, oversized hoodie before heading to your front door.

When you opened the door, you were surprised to see Ben’s smiling face staring back at you. He was dressed up in shorts and a navy Baseball ¾ sleeve T-shirt with the name ‘Doughnut Squad’ over the front making you grimace.

“Hey what are you doing? sleeping?” Ben laughs as he glances up and down at you.

“On a Saturday morning when I have the day off? Yes” you grumble frowning at him.

“Well get dressed, we don’t wanna be late” Ben says chucking you a T-shirt that matched his, the top falling to the floor when you didn’t catch it

“Late for what?” you ask confused picking up the top from the floor.

“Are you serious?” Ben laughs incredulously “it’s the annual Cop vs Firefighter Softball game!”

You groaned shaking your head as you remember that was today “not this year Benny” you tell him shaking your head.

“oh c’mon you can’t back out! you’re our best batsman!” Ben complains, his arms gesturing outwards towards you trying to convince you.

“I’ve got too much on, it’s the last weekend before the sergeant’s exam on Monday so I need to study for that” you explain shaking your head.

“All the more reason you should come play and just relax! You’ll smash the exam I know it, but you won’t be able to remember anything if you don’t relax” Ben says stepping forwards and putting his hands on your shoulders.

“I dunno Benny” you sigh your mind flicking back to your dream “what if Evans is there? That’s not gonna help me relax” you point out.

“He hasn’t been to any other ones has he, so I doubt he’ll be here this time” Ben says shrugging his shoulders.

You let out a long sigh biting your lip glancing down at the top in your hands “I should say no based on just the team name alone” you say looking back up at Ben who was smirking.

“yeah, it was Norm who pick it this year” Ben explains shrugging his shoulders.

You snort with laughter shaking your head, you weren’t surprised. If you explained to an alien what a cop was by just the stereotypes, you’d get Norm.

“Fine just give me 5 minutes” you sigh in resignation, chuckling slightly when Ben pounded his fist in the air in celebration.

True to your word 5 minutes later you were dressed in work out leggings and the ‘Doughnut squad’ tee that Ben had given you. As you made your way out of the apartment you grabbed an apple for the road, you nearly grabbed your textbook but Ben snatched it from your hands, threw it across the apartment and dragged you out.

When you got to the field the day was already in full swing. It always made you smile to see how many people turned up to these days. Friends and family turning up to cheer on their team, local food vendors pitching up for the day to keep everyone fed. Locals in the community coming along and donating spare change they had in the charity buckets dotted around the field.

Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, kids running around as the teams gathered. You spotted your team, smiling when you saw practically everyone from last year had returned. You had a good team, you were gonna give the fire lot a run for their money.

A loud boisterous laugh broke through the crowd, and you found yourself glancing over to find its source. Groaning in annoyance when you saw Chris laughing, his hand clutching his chest as he leant back. It wasn’t just annoying that he was here, it was annoying because he was dressed in a red baseball tee with ‘Too Hot To Handle’ written on the front.

“For fuck sake” you mutter under your breath, cautious of small ears nearby.

“Hm?” Ben asks glancing over to where you were looking “huh… fancy that” he chuckles.

“Benny it’s not funny! I’m going home” you complain turning on your heel to leave, you couldn’t not be dealing with Evans today, not after that dream you had.

Ben laughed grabbing your elbow to stop you from going home, spinning you around to face him making you pout.

“Look it’s one afternoon, and this is the perfect time to kick his ass, show him what a real cop is” Ben smirk arching a brow.

“It would be nice to get one up on him” you mutter glancing over at Chris, recalling the satisfaction when you proved him wrong on the George case.

“And when you hit the ball just picture his face and you’ll hit it out of the park each time” Ben adds with a smirk “this might be the easiest win in the history of the comp”

You nod stretching out your back and neck “let’s go beat their asses” you state in determination.

The teams gathered in their respective dugouts, as you went to step into your you glanced over, your eyes meeting Chris. You watched as a small smirk grew on his lips as he gave you a small finger salute. Your jaw clenched irritated burning through your body turning on your back to him as you step into the dugout, hearing his laughter as you went.

After a coin toss it was decided that the firefighters would bat first so you made your way out to your field position. Standing behind the second base ready to tap out anyone who came close. You looked over at the line-up of firefighters, many of which you recognised from previous years or recent jobs because they were part of Chris’ crew.

Your eyes then landed on Chris who was stood 3rd in line leaning on his bat. He was chatting to the girl next to him, a wide smile on his face as he gestured with his hands. You frowned slightly as she threw her head back and laughed her hand resting on his arm. Chris grinning as he shrugged his shoulders as he nudged her in the side, her hand swatting his hand away.

You found yourself instantly irritated by them, unable to focus on the game as Chris shamelessly flirted with his teammate, flexing his bulging biceps making the girl laugh and roll her eyes. His eyes then met yours and you see the shit eating grin on his face grow as he caught you staring, making you even more irritated. Declaring to yourself that no matter what you’d get him out of this game as soon as possible.

As he stepped up to bat there were already two of his team on bases, one on first the other on the second. There was no way you were gonna let any of them get home safe. You watched as he prepared to swing, getting into position his butt sticking out making you groan is disgust.

You focussed yourself and got ready to catch the ball if needed. The pitcher threw the ball which hit his bat with a resounding smack. The ball sailed over your head, you jumped for it, but it was just out of your reach. It landed in the outfield behind you, your fellow fielders scrambling to grab it. You kept one eye on where Evans was and saw he’d only just reached first base the sound of him yelling at his teammates to keep running. You in turn shouted to your teammates to throw you the ball so you could get him out. Your teammate thankfully listened to you and threw you the ball, once it was in your hands you turned and went to get Chris out, but he dropped down into a slide, his foot tapping the base before you were able to tag him.

“Dammit!” you groan in annoyance.

“Nice try sweetheart” Chris smirks as he gets to his feet and brushes the dirt off his shorts.

“Shut it Evans” you grumbled as you threw the ball back to the pitcher.

“I like the team name, very apt for you” Chris smirks pointing to your tee.

“I didn’t pick it” you defended quickly making his eyebrows quirk with amusement.

“didn’t say you did sweetheart” he points out with a lopsided grin.

“Stop calling me that” you grumble frowning up at him.

“Not a chance sweetheart” Chris drawls shaking his head making you huff in annoyance.

“What are you even doing here anyway? I’ve never seen you here before” you ask him.

“Thought I’d give it a go, the crew have been begging me for years, especially Jamie” Chris explains with a shrug of his shoulder as he nods to the girl you’d seen him flirting with earlier.

“of course, you would” you mumble under your breath as you glance over at Jamie who was stepping up to bat, her gorgeous long caramel brown hair cascading down her back in an effortlessly perfect ponytail.

“What was that?” Chris asks leaning closer.

“nothing” you snap glaring over at him making him laugh shaking his head at you.

For the rest of the game, it felt like Chris was doing everything he could to get under your skin. He could be stood on the other side of the field, and you’d feel his eyes on you, that shit eating grin on his face whenever you glanced over. Whenever he was close enough, he’d make some remark, one that usually ended with the word ‘sweetheart’.

“Take a breather before we swap over” the ref called out at the end of the innings.

As you made your way back to the dugout you heard the sound of someone jogging over to you, glancing over your shoulder you groaned when you saw it was Chris. You picked up the pace hoping you could get back to the dugout before he had a chance to say whatever remark he’d been cooking up.

Unfortunately for you he too picked up the pace, jogging past you and turning so he was in your path. You didn’t break your stride forcing him to walk backwards as he smirked at you.

“Hey if you need the energy levels there’s a doughnut van over there” Chris says pointing over to the large group of food vans.

You ignore him trying to walk past him, but he kept moving into your path “I could go get you one? Maybe one each for your team, a little pick me up since it doesn’t look good for you guys” Chris smirks putting his hand on his chest.

“you’d love that wouldn’t you Evans” you grumble sparing him a quick glare.

“To play the hero? Yeah of course” he smirks not missing a beat.

“Urgh you’re the worst” you groan finally pushing past him and heading into the dugout.

Once the break was over you made your way back onto the field ready to bat. As you got in line you spotted Chris was the pitcher for his team. You curse at your bad luck, this was why he’d been irritating you all day, it was all a game plan. He wanted to rile you up so you wouldn’t perform your best, you shouldn’t have been surprised, everything was a game to him.

As you walked up to the plate you glared down at Chris hoping that your face conveyed the fact that his plan wasn’t going to work. He in turn smirked back at you tossing the ball up in the air repeatedly.

“feelin’ up to this sweetheart? Or do I need to get you a coffee and doughnut?” Chris smirked as you got ready to swing.

You scowled back at him not giving him the satisfaction of a response. He let out a huff of a laugh nodding his head as he prepared to pitch. As he threw the ball you were surprised at the speed at which he managed to pitch it. The ball had hit the glove of the keeper behind you before you even thought about swinging.

“Sharpen up sweetheart, don’t wanna let your team down” Chris smirked as he caught the ball and got ready to throw again.

You tighten your grip on the bat, narrowing your eyes at him in determination. You weren’t going to let him win, you were ready this time. You were not going to miss, you were going hit this ball out of the park and show him where to stick it.

You focussed on your task, and as soon as you saw the ball leave his hand you swung the bat with all your strength. You heard the satisfying crack as your bat hits the ball, you prepare to start running but you don’t get the chance. As you glance to see where the ball was going, and it was going straight towards Chris.

Before anyone got the chance to react the ball flew straight into Chris’ crotch. Chris doubling over in pain nearly falling to the floor as he groaned. A large gasp spread through the crowd, your hand flying to cover your mouth in shock. This was not what you planned to happen.

“I am so sor-“ you start dropping the bat and moving to take a step closer.

You stopped when Chris held up his hand, his face contorted in pain as he shook his head “don’t” he ground out waving you away.

“Chris I-“ you start again but stop when you see the harshest glare you’d ever seen from him, making you almost recoil.

You glance over your shoulder at your team watching as Ben bit at his fist trying not to laugh at the situation. You look back over at Chris you watch as a couple of his teammates helped him up and carried him off the field. Chris giving you one last glare over his shoulder as he went.

With every step off the pitch Chris winced, he wasn’t sure if he could remember a pain this bad. He glanced up to see his large herd of a family waiting for him off the field, Scott and Ryan taking the place of his teammates helping him off the field. They led him to the picnic area setting him down on one of the benches, Chris groaning as he sat down.

His entire family swarmed him asking him a million and one questions, to the point it was becoming overwhelming. He loved his family and he loved they were all concerned but with the pain he was feeling he couldn’t think straight. His breathing began to quicken which wasn’t helping with the pain, his eyes darting around his family until they settled on his mom.

“Okay, okay let’s give him some space” Lisa announces ushering the rest back “Scott can you go get us some ice or something?” she says turning to Scott.

“On it” Scott nods turning in the direction of the food vendors.

“The rest of you go back to the game” Lisa says gesturing back to the field.

As soon as they were gone Chris let out a deep breath of relief, expletives that he’d been holding back while the kids were about “fuck fucking hell, why the fuck do they call it soft ball, misleading as fuck name fuck!” he groaned dropping his head back.

“Language Christopher” Lisa sighed putting a hand on his shoulder.

“sorry” Chris sighed wincing slightly.

“Here you go, might just save your chance of kids in the future” Scott said once he returned, ice pack in hand.

Chris just grumbled snatching the ice pack from Scott’s hand placing it over his crotch, wincing at the cold sensation. Unsure whether it was actually helping or not because it was fucking freezing.

“Hey while you’re here can I ask you something?” Scott asked, Chris glancing up at his brother as he took a few deep breaths trying to get use to the cold sensation.

“what?” Chris ground out quickly.

“who’s the new guy on your team?” Scott asks pointing over towards the field.

Chris followed where Scott was pointing seeing that he was pointing to Steve who had taken Chris’ place as the pitcher.

“That’s Steve the new rookie, just transferred from LA after breaking up with his boyfriend” Chris explained still breathing through the pain.

“So, he’s single?” Scott asks raising a brow.

Chris lets out an annoyed huff, shrugging his shoulders “I dunno, kinda got more important things to worry about right now” he said through gritted teeth.

“Scott why don’t you head back and watch the rest of the game?” Lisa says putting her hand on her youngest son’s back, gently pushing him away.

Once he was gone Chris let out another groan, pressing his fist harshly against his forehead as he tried to control the pain. Feeling some comfort from his mom gently rubbing his back.

“What on earth happened out there?” Lisa sighed after a moment.

“I wish I knew, Jesus” Chris groaned shaking his head.

“at least it was an accident” Lisa sighed shrugging her shoulders making Chris scoff.

“It definitely was not an accident” he grumbled.

“why’d you say that? I’ve been watching the pair of you all afternoon, you seem to get on like a house on fire, you have oh what is it these kids call it these days? Flirty banter?” Lisa said making Chris’ eye widen in horror as he grimaced.

“It is not that at all!” he states “I was just trying to get under her skin all day, appears it worked” he mutters shifting slightly.

Lisa frowned down at him “why on earth would you do that?” she asks astonished.

“because she’s the commissioners daughter, the one who slapped me remember?” Chris explains, Lisa letting out a small hum as she looked back towards the field where you were playing.

“hm…” she said after a moment of watching you.

“What?” Chris sighed knowing that she had more to say.

“nothing I just-“ She starts before looking back over at Chris “she doesn’t seem like the type of person, I could see how sorry she was after today’s incident” she explains.

“If anything this proves that she is the type of person” Chris grumbles shaking his head.

“What actually happened that day? You never really told me, which isn’t like you at all” Lisa says putting a hand on his shoulder.

Chris sighed as he scratched his forehead, she had him there, Chris always told her everything, even things that other kids wouldn’t dream of telling their parents like when he lost his virginity.

“We um had met before- at a bar” Chris started with a sigh “spent the night together and when I woke, she was gone, I thought about leaving my number but decided against it which I ended up regretting” he continues his hands fiddling in his lap.

“So, when I saw her at that training day I went over to ask if she wanted to hang out again, but she completely flipped out on me accusing me of not calling her because apparently she left a note that I didn’t see” he said shaking his head.

“Did you explain that to her?” Lisa asked him.

“I tried but she got all shitty about me being a firefighter to which I said she must be a shitty cop to not notice that and then she slapped me” he finished.

“Did you tell her you or were you wearing your uniform?” Lisa asks furrowing her brows slightly.

“No, but I was wearing my cap that has the fire service logo on it” Chris explains shaking his head.

“Christopher!” Lisa sighed exasperatedly as he gave him a small smack round the back on the head.

“ouch ma!” Chris complained cupping the back of his head.

“I don’t condone violence but it’s no wonder she slapped you after you insulted her like that!” Lisa scolds him shaking her head in disappointment.

“but-“ Chris starts going to argue but she holds up her hand.

“Zip it! I raised you better than that Chris! Look out there and tell me how many female cops you see” Lisa says pointing to the field.

Chris sighs looking over at the two teams only just noticing how the guys vastly outnumbered the girls “two” Chris answered looking back at Lisa.

“Exactly, this line of work is very male dominated and sexism is going to be ingrained through it, she’s probably been constantly undermined by her male co-workers, forced to prove herself 10 times more than they’ve ever had to, she doesn’t need you undermining her ability either!” Lisa chastises “every guy in Boston owns one of those caps, so how on earth was she supposed to know!”

Chris sighed looking down instantly feeling shitty, like he was a kid all over again. Scott had told him the exact same thing but hearing it from his mom made it far worse, especially when he saw the disappointment in her eyes.

“I’m sorry ma” Chris apologised quietly.

“I’m not the one you need to apologise to” Lisa reminded him nodding over towards the field where you were stood at one of the bases glancing over at the two of them.

Chris looked over at you, seeing you quickly look away and focus your attention back on the game. He let out a long, deep sigh as he nodded his head in agreement.

“Look Chris” Lisa started squeezing his shoulder “I can see there’s a spark there, and it’s different than all the other girls I’ve seen you with before” she says making him sigh and shake his head.

“I dunno, even if there was the ship has long sailed, she definitely doesn’t like me anymore” Chris says nodding down to the icepack “plus it would be doomed from the start anyway” he mutters to himself under his breath.

“why’d you say that?” Lisa asks, making Chris curse at her good hearing.

He sighs glancing up at her as he bit his lip trying to work out how best to word it “its just- it’s not easy having a relationship with someone in the emergency services” he says, Lisa humming and nodding her head.

“No but some people make it work, I mean look at Jamie and her fiancée Emma” Lisa points out.

“that’s different Emma is an EMT and often works with the station, so they spend time together on shift, I only occasionally see Y/N on the odd job, I’m surprised our days off today lined up” Chris argues shaking his head.

“But she’d understand what it’s like, understand how important the job is to those who do it” Lisa points out gently.

Chris sighs shaking his head “I dunno ma, it just doesn’t seem likely so let’s just drop it okay?” he sighs “please?” he adds when he sees her go to say something.

“Fine, it’s dropped” Lisa says holding her hands up in surrender.

“Thanks ma” Chris sighs in relief glancing back over at the field.

Chris ended up sitting out the rest of the game, even once the initial pain subsided he was far too sore to even think about stepping back onto the field. So, he watched from the safety of his picnic bench as his team tried their best to stop the ‘Doughnut squad’ from scoring runs but ultimately failing. You scoring the winning run for the team when you hit the ball out of the park.

Chris watched and couldn’t help but smile when your team surged out of the dugout to celebrate their win, lifting you up onto their shoulder to parade you around. Chris watched as you laugh with them, clapping your hands with them as you celebrated. When you glanced over at him the smile on your face faded slightly, giving him a small smile when he bowed his head in congratulations.

As the teams made their way off the field the crowds made their way into the picnic area, grabbing food from the vendors. Everyone sitting down and relaxing with their family and friends, Chris smiling as he watched his crew relax.

As he glanced around, he was surprised to see you making your way towards him, your eyes flicking between his and the ground in front of you.

“hey um I just wanted to apologise for what happened, it was an accident I didn’t mean to hurt you” you apologised nervously, your hands fidgeting as you looked down at them.

Chris remained silent for a moment as he studied you, only looking away when Lisa squeezed his shoulder tightly giving him a look of warning.

“It’s okay, accident happen, apology accepted” Chris nods looking back over at you.

Chris saw your gaze flicker to his mother nervously making him worry that she was giving you one of her famous death stares. You cleared your throat shuffling on the spot slightly.

“Good well um… I’m sorry and um I’ll leave you alone now” you said before quickly turning on your heel and heading back towards your team.

Chris let out a long sigh as he watched you go before glancing up at his mother to see the disapproving look on her face “what?” he asked.

“You didn’t apologise!” she scolded him.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry” he sighed holding his hands up “I will I promise” he says.

“You better Chris, you’re both adults you need to sit down and have a proper talk about all of this, it’s the only way to move forward” Lisa reminded him.

Chris nodded with a sigh as he glanced over at you. Wondering how on earth he was going to get you alone for long enough to sort this out. You were at each other’s throats whenever you saw each other, it was a lost cause.

Monday the sergeant’s exam rolled around and you were a ball of nerves the entire day, you weren’t sure you actually took a breath until you got back to your apartment, slumping against the door with a long sigh. You think you did well but you weren’t sure, it was up to the gods now. All you could do was wait.

Which after a couple hours trying to relax was proving impossible. The last couple months all you had done was work and study for this exam. Now the exam was over and you had the rest of the day off and you had no clue what to do with yourself.

The first thing you tried to occupy your mind with was baking, you’d found a recipe for biscoff brownies a while ago that you had been dying to try but never found the time. Soon enough your small kitchen was covered in flour and chocolate powder, the delicious smell smell of brownies wafting through the apartment. You could barely give them time to cool before you tried one, letting out a small moan of content at the gooey, fudgy goodness in your hands.

You boxed up the rest of the brownies before setting about cleaning up the mess you made. Tidying up and organising the entire kitchen to a state better than it was before, leading you to decide to tidy up the rest of the apartment. A chore you’d been putting off the last couple weeks.

You gave the entire apartment a deep clean, moving furniture, completely reorganising your closet giving you more space. One of your last jobs was to hoover the living area, using all the different attachments to get in every crevasse. You even moved furniture so you could hoover underneath it. One of the last pieces of furniture being the couch near the front door of your apartment.

As you moved it you noticed a small piece of pink paper flutter underneath it, frowning you reached down to pick it up. You expected it to be a to-do list you had written but when you turned it over your breath caught. It was the note you left for Chris, it had been under the couch this entire time. Your hand rubs over your mouth and chin as you moved to sit down on the couch, staring down at the note.

It must have been blown off this tee when you shut the door, or maybe he didn’t see it when he picked up his tee letting it fall to the ground and underneath the couch. It was too far under the couch for him to put it there, so he must have been telling the truth this entire time. He really didn’t see the note.

You groaned dropping your head into your hands, you instantly felt terrible and guilty. You had been so rude to him for no reason, accused him of something he didn’t do and refused to listen when he tried to explain. No wonder he didn’t like you anymore, you’d been an asshole.

You needed to apologise, but you doubted he’d even let you near him, especially after the softball game on Saturday. You didn’t have his number either, you’d have to rely on seeing him on another job and you doubted he’d speak to you then.

Sighing you shook your head trying to get Chris off your mind but it was impossible. The nervous energy you had felt ever since you’d gotten home getting ten times worse. You needed some fresh air so you grabbed a jacket and your keys and headed out to your car. Sticking on your favourite playlist you started up your car and started driving.

You had no real destination in mind you just wanted to drive, first driving around the city until rush hour started and you turned away from the busy city streets and headed in the direction of the suburbs and rural Massachusetts.

As the sun started to set you pulled over and made your way to a lake you knew was nearby, sitting on the hood of your car as you watched the sun set. Flickers of gold dancing across the lakes surface making it glisten. You pulled your knees up to your chest, resting your chin on your knees as you wrapped your arms around your legs.

You closed your eyes as the warmth of the sun hit your skin, letting out a deep sigh as you tried to silence you mind. It seemed like an impossible task, all you could think about was what could have happened if Chris had seen your note. He had said he was hoping to see you again and you remembered how safe you felt in his arms that night.

You tore your eyes away from the sunset looking at the empty spot next to you on the hood of your car. Wondering what it would look like, feel like if Chris was sat next to you right now. You could practically picture his warm smile as he reclined back on his elbows. You forced yourself to look away and back at the sunset, because there was no way that could ever happen.

Once the sun had completely set and it got dark you climbed back into your car and started your drive home, taking the longest route you knew. Desperate to kill some more time, give yourself more time to think before you returned to the world of work.

You took roads that you knew barely anyone used, allowing you that extra level of peace as you drove. The one you were currently on was long and windy through the forest, tall trees flanking both sides of the road growing so tall they nearly blocked the sky. You couldn’t help but smile as you drove, relaxing back into your car seat.

You rounded a corner and your heart stopped. You slammed on the breaks as soon as you saw a car overturned onto its roof on the side of the road. Adrenaline took over as you pulled over, your hands shaking as you grabbed your phone and dialled 911.

“This is Detective Y/L/N, reporting in a RTC on the rural roads outside of Boston, exact location uncertain” you said glancing around hoping for a landmark “unknown number of wounded or fatalities” you continue as you walk over to the car.

“Received we’ve found your location from your mobile data, can you see how many souls there are?” the operator answered as you crouched down to look into the car.

All the air in your lungs disappeared as you looked inside, 4 young adults inside, you swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked down. You’d seen enough traffic accidents to know they were all beyond saving, and had been gone for a long while now. You still reached out through the broken window, wincing slightly when the glass cut your arm, fingers pressed against the neck of the guy closest to you dropping your head when you felt the cold skin and zero pulse.

“4 souls, all deceased” you answer as you sit back up taking a deep breath “the car is pretty mangled you’ll um- you’ll need the jaws of life to cut the bodies free” you say scratching your forehead.

“understood, I’ll send back up and a fire crew, do you need me to remain on the line?” the operator asks.

You shake your head as you took a deep shuddering breath “no, I’m fine, other calls will need responding to” you tell them.

“understood, the nearest car is about 15 minutes out” the operator tells your before ending the call.

You slide your phone back into your pocket, taking another look into the car you let out a deep sigh at the tragedy of the situation. They looked like a pair of couples, all over them no older than maybe 20, their lives cut tragically short. You took a deep breath reminding yourself that you had a job to do, you pushed yourself up wincing slightly from the cut on your arm. You made your way back to your car, turning on the built-in blue lights to help alert any more cars and prevent another accident. You then opened up the boot of your car grabbing the police sign placing that in the middle of the road. You then grabbed the small first aid kit and started bandaging up the cut on your arm, before sitting and waiting for back up.

It felt like an eternity before the first squad car pulled up, the uniformed officer approaching you. Now they were present you found yourself instantly jumping into work mode, updating them on the situation. Slowly more back up arrived, ambulances to transport the bodies, the fire truck being the last to arrive.

You glanced over when you saw it pull up, swallowing nervously when you saw it was Chris and his crew that had responded. Your eyes met his and you saw his brows furrow as he stared back at you. His expression was unreadable as the blue lights flashed and lit up his face as you found yourself turning away back to the other officers unable to handle his stare knowing it was nothing but hatred.

“did you injure yourself?” one of the EMTs said nodding to your arm.

“oh um yeah, I cut it while checking on their status of the victims but it’s fine” you say trying to wave them off.

“let me patch it up properly and make sure there’s no glass in it” the medic offers holding out his hand.

“no its fine there’s more important things to deal with” you say shaking your head.

“we won’t be able to do anything until the fire crew turn the car over and cut the roof off” the medic tells you.

“Detective go get cleaned up” one of the officers said putting her hand on your shoulder.

“I’m fine I promise” you state shaking your head.

“we know, just get bandaged up quickly and then you can help” the officer presses gently.

“okay fine” you sigh in defeat letting the EMT lead you over to the ambulance.

You sit down in the ambulance and let the medic work, as he did so you looked back out your eyes catching Chris as his team got to work on the car. He was stood off to the side slightly as he talked to the officers, your breath catching slightly when he glanced over his shoulder at you making you quickly look away. Waiting for the EMT to finish so you could get back to work and focus on that instead of Chris.

When Chris arrived on the scene of the RTC he knew as soon as he set eyes on the car that it was going to be a tough job, not only physically but mentally. He hated jobs like this, usually there was still a chance to save the person, use the jaws of life to save a life, but not today. He was also surprised to see you at the scene, you seemed to be off duty, dressed in clothes for relaxing around the house, a flour handprint on your thigh.

He instantly noticed how shaken up you looked, and how desperate you were trying to hide it. He watched as you talked to the other officers, arms wrapped tightly around your waist, occasionally running your hands through your hair.

“c’mon let’s get to work” Chris sighed turning back to his crew.

As they got to work, Chris walked over to the police officer nearby “what’s the situation? Was the detective involved in the collision” Chris asked crossing his arms over his chest.

“No, she was just the first person that found the car, the current theory is that they swerved to miss a deer and the car overturned as it crashed into the trees” the officer said pointing to what looked like deer tracks on the side of the road.

“Alcohol involved?” Chris questioned.

“none has been found in the car, we won’t know until the post-mortems whether it was in their bloodstream, but it seems to be just one of those tragic accidents” the officer sighs shaking his head.

Chris lets out a long sigh as he watched his crew work, he then glanced over his shoulder spotting you sat inside one of the ambulances. He furrows his brows in concern as he watches the medic bandage up your arm.

“Is she okay?” Chris asks glancing at the officer.

“yeah, she just cut her arm on the broken glass when she reached in to check the status of the victims” the officer explained.

Chris muttered a curse under his breath, knowing just how horrible it was to find a dead body and knowing there was nothing you could do to fix it. No wonder you looked so shaken up.

The entire time they worked Chris kept sparing glances over at you, checking to make sure you were okay, watching as you pushed through it continuing to work until there was nothing else you could do. Watching as you climbed back in your car and drove back towards the city.

As soon as his crew was done with their work Chris ordered them back to the station, since it was their last job before change over they were able to head straight home afterwards. Once Chris got home he sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh, grateful when Dodger jumped up next to him and curled up on his lap.

“thanks bubba” Chris sighed as he ran his hand over Dodger’s head.

No matter how tired he was it always took a while for Chris to wind down after a difficult job, the adrenaline still pumping through this body. But today it wasn’t just the adrenaline that wouldn’t allow him to relax, it was his concern for you.

Before he knew it he was grabbing his jacket and a bottle of scotch before making his way out and towards your apartment. When he got there he saw the lights in your apartment were still on despite the late hour. He quickly jogged up the steps to your building finding your name on the intercom and pressing the buzzer.

He waited a couple moments before buzzing again, he knew you were in there but you weren’t answering. His worry for you gets worse as he steps back onto the street, looking back up at the windows hoping to see you but he didn’t. His gaze settles on the fire escape that he’d spotted the first time he was here, he tended to notice this sort of thing.

He reaches up to grab the ladder pulling it down so he could climb up, once he gets to your floor he peers in through the gap in the curtains spotting you curled up in a ball on the couch. His heart broke as he saw your shuddering shoulders.

He tapped his knuckles against the glass making you jump, he watched as you glanced around before settling your gaze on him. You instantly rolled your eyes when you saw him, shaking your head as you stood up.

“Leave me alone Chris” you shouted out to him.

“No not when you’re upset!” Chris called back shaking his head.

“Chris please! I can’t deal with this now” you say desperation in your voice.

“Y/N please I can’t leave you like this, I want to make sure you’re okay” Chris called out as you turned your back on him.

“I’m fine now go” you tell him, but it was obviously a lie.

“Y/N, please I know you’re not” Chris said watching as your shoulders began to shake again.

He cursed under his breath when you refused to turn around and look at him, he sighed and decided to take matters into his own hands. He didn’t care if he got done for breaking and entering, he needed to know you were okay.

He started to push the window up, grateful when it opened easily. Climbing into your apartment he closed the small distance placing his hand gently on your shoulder. You flinched at his touch quickly looking over your shoulder at him, Chris’ heart breaking when he saw the tears in your eyes up close and personal.

“c’mere” he sighed gently wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his embrace.

He breathed out a sigh of relief when you melted into his arms, burying your head in his chest as you wept. He rested his head on top of yours pressing a gentle, barely there kiss to the top of your head as he held you tightly, rubbing your back soothingly.

When your sobs eventually subsided into small sniffles Chris led you over to your couch sitting down besides you “I’m sorry” he finally said after a moment.

You looked up at him surprised, shaking your head slightly as you tried to comprehend what he’d just said “I’m sorry for what I said at that training day, it was uncalled for and well my behaviour afterwards was unacceptable too” he continued shaking his head.

“I did want to call you, I really did but I just didn’t see the note and I know it’s a lame excuse but-“ Chris continued with a sigh before you interrupted him.

“I know…” you start looking over at him “I found the note today underneath the couch when I was cleaning, it must have been blown off when I shut the door or something” you explain making Chris hum in surprise.

“So I’m sorry for accusing you of not calling, and slapping you and hitting you with that softball” you list off wincing slightly making Chris snort with laughter.

“Yeah, those balls aren’t soft” he chuckled earning a small upwards twitch of the lips from you.

“Yeah, they’ve got a deceptive as fuck name” you agree making him laugh nodding his head.

“I um brought scotch, I thought it might help” Chris said grabbing the bottle.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea, last time we got drunk together it led to a whole lot of mess” you say shaking your head making Chris snort.

“True, it was fun before the mess though” he points out with a smirk.

You let out a small noncommittal hum “let’s just not get drunk this time” you say grabbing the bottle from him, twisting it open and taking a large sip.

“Deal, just tipsy and I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself if you do too” Chris says holding up his hands making you smile slightly passing him the bottle so he could take a sip.

“You don’t need to worry about that I promise” you smirk making Chris chuckle as he leans back against the couch, watching as you pull up your legs and cross them.

He watches you for a moment as you take a couple of deep breaths and another couple more sips of the scotch. You sniffled a couple more times, wiping away the tears still on your cheeks. Chris sat up reaching out and resting his hand on your knee.

“How are you feeling now?” Chris asked gently.

You took a deep shuddering breath as you shrugged your shoulders and shook your head “I don’t know” you sighed.

“Was that your first fatal RTC?” Chris asked you.

You shook your head “no I’ve seen loads unfortunately but that was the first one that really affected me” you explain letting out a long sigh glancing down at your lap.

“I guess it’s because I wasn’t expecting it, all the others we’ve known they’re a serious collision before we get there, we get told over the radio so we go into it prepared for the worst… whereas this one… I didn’t have that time to prepare I was just there” you sighed shaking your head.

Chris nodded, his hand rubbing your knee soothingly “I get that, I remember my first large scale call out it was terrifying I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fire so big” Chris sighed glancing out towards the window.

“Did you get everyone out?” You asked him getting him to look back over at you.

“no” he breathed out “we tried, but we couldn’t there was a little boy that got trapped, we couldn’t get to him and…” Chris said until he struggled to continue looking down in shame.

He could remember the wails of the mother so clearly, her screams for them to save him when the boy was long gone. It took a lot for Chris to move on from that, he remember going home to his mother’s house and just breaking down.

“it’s okay you don’t need to tell me, I know you would’ve done everything you could” you tell him gently.

“From that day I swore I’d do everything I could so another life wouldn’t be lost, I guess in a way it gave me the drive to get me to where I am today” Chris sighed shrugging his shoulders.

Silence falls between the two of you, the only noise being from the TV that you had on in the background, the sound of the live audience laughing at a joke filling the room.

“Can I ask you something?” Chris asked as he took another sip of scotch.

“You kinda just did” you point out making him snort with laughter.

“smartass” He mutters shaking his head taking a sip of scotch.

“Go on then, ask away” you press taking the bottle of scotch from him, and taking a large sip.

“why do you hate firefighters?” Chris asked, it was the question Chris had been dying to know ever since you made your distain known.

You sighed slumping back against the couch taking a few large sips of the scotch “I mean I don’t hate you guys… I guess- well I guess I was just raised to, my father never had anything good to say about you guys and it made an impression” you admit looking over at him.

“The commissioner hates firefighters? Why?” Chris asks confused.

“Because my mom died in a fire” you answer with a sad sigh.

Chris’ face falls at your admission, out of all the reasons he wasn’t expecting that one.

“I’m so sorry, what- what happened?” Chris asked clearing his throat.

“I don’t know I was only 5 when it happened, I was staying at my grandparents that night, my father was working, all I remember is my grandmother waking me up the next morning and breaking the news” you recall with a small shrug of your shoulders.

“Shit I’m so sorry” Chris sighed shaking his head.

“it’s okay” you say quietly looking down.

“No- no its not, c’mere” Chris sighed as he saw you getting upset again wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into his side.

You let out a shaky sigh as you rested your head on his shoulder “thank you Chris” you breathed out “and I’m sorry I shouldn’t have let my father’s anger blind me” you apologised.

“No, it’s okay I understand, water under the bridge” Chris reassures you.

“Thank you” you sigh wiping away a stray tear.

The two of you remained like this just sat watching the TV, sipping at the bottle of scotch. Chris kept his arm around you, while you kept your head resting on his shoulder. A couple of hours later Chris felt you finally falling asleep.

“Hey, let’s get you to bed” Chris said gently shaking your shoulder.

You hummed nodding your head as you slowly stood up, picking up the bottle of scotch that was half empty “did you drive here?” you ask him looking down at the bottle.

“Uh yeah I did” Chris nodded shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Well, um I can’t let you drive home so you can crash on my couch, let me just get some pillows and blanket” you tell him.

“Oh no you don’t have to do that, I can call an uber or walk or something” Chris says waving the offer off as he stood up from the couch.

“Chris please it’s the least I can do after everything” You tell him with a kind smile.

A lopsided grin grows on Chris’ face as he took a couple steps towards you “does that mean we’re friends now?” he asks looks down at you.

You purse yours lips in thought, tilting you head slightly “hmmm I dunno if we’re that close yet” you smirk “how about acquaintances?”

“We passed acquaintances the very first night we met” Chris points out with a smirk of his own.

“co-workers?” you offer.

“Nope too formal” Chris says shaking his head “how about casual friends? We see each other at work and out and about and we’re friendly?” he offers.

“I guess that could work” you nod in agreement.

“Good, and hopefully we can become close friends soon, because this is a nice place, and it would be cool to hang out more” Chris smirks nodding around at your apartment.

“You might not agree after a night on that couch” you smirk nodding to the couch.

“I’ll take that chance” Chris grins “truce?” he asks holding out his hand.

“truce” you agree, shaking his hand with a smile, Chris feeling a small jolt of electricity when your hand met his.

PLEASE LIKE FOLLOW AND REBLOG!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

I don’t have a tag list but follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary and turn on post notifications to stay up to date!

#NiamhWrites #Burnin’ up series #Chris Evans #firefighter!au #firefighter!chris #chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #Chris evans x you #chris x reader #chris x y/n #chris x you

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diminuel · 2 years ago

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Covid addled brain reaction to 1x03 of The Winchesters under the cut.

Is Latika trying to be John’s wingman? First I thought she was trying to hint towards him taking her to the movies, but then it became clear that it was about giving John a hint to ask Mary out. Mary’s pretty oblivious though (this is giving me Everandanon Dean vibes, I like it!)

Ada not happy to be given a partner by Mary? Did you want to go solo? Suspicious.

Oha, we meet Betty.

Not that I know a lot about truckers; then or now, but I imagine it as being away from home, being on the street for days or weeks. And yet she considers this life normal. (And of course it also made me think of Dean who knows how to use this form of communication. Not to listen for hunter code words but as a source of regular information.)

John’s dream was to be a catcher of what? Is that baseball? Softball? (I only know the sex metaphors so I am having a bit of a giggle *lol*)

A demon who doesn’t care about holy water all that much, but who is still black eyed. Interesting.

I enjoyed the music scene and John’s desperation. :3 (Also, John’s shirt is too short for him. Is he still wearing his old clothes that he grew out of during the war?)

So Lata’s parents (or at least mom) isn’t dead after all? Unless the parents she lost and the mom she mentioned aren’t the same.

Ah okay. John proposed to Betty? That must have been before he left for the war, so I guess they were super young then. Aw, John.

“Omega Man”? Are they just doing this on purpose to amuse me?

No, go away strange guy! You don’t get to join Mary in movies! >:C

Strange choice to become a radio DJ for a otherworldly monster possessing a human but eh, Chuck decided to be a not very successful writer X’D And since the first episode has established “choosing the music” as similar to, or possibly even equivalent to the act of writing. So I guess she’s the “Chuck” figure in this one, trying to manipulate what cases Mary and co go on.

That was a good episode, I like it but I don’t have enough brain power to read into it now. Maybe later!

#Effi stuff #Supernatural #The Winchesters #spnwin #spnwin spoilers

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harringtonstilinski · 3 years ago

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What Love Can Feel Like Pt. 1 - Mitch Rapp

Author: @stilinskiparker Characters: Mitch Rapp x Reader Word Count: 4,952 Warnings: fluff, angst, small mentions of t*rrorist attack, Requested: Nope. A/N: Hi, friends! So, I was going through my drafts either on this blog or my main one, and I saw a prompt list, so I wanted to write something for it. I figured that I could write some one-shots and draft them (like I did with this one), and post them whenever I feel like I want something out. Does that make sense? ‘Cause it didn’t in my head, lol. So, if you like this please don’t hesitate to reblog, comment, send something into my askbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊

“Why is it that when I like a guy… they don’t like me back?” I asked. “‘Cause I’m tired of getting the short end of the stick?”

I was sitting in Mitch’s room on his bed, tears coming down my face. Not like steady tears, but they were coming out slowly… if that made any sense.

Mitch moved from his desk to sit beside me, putting an arm around my shoulder to try and comfort me. You couldn’t tell that he was a little bit muscular, but his muscles were there.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” he said. “They’re just stupid and can’t see the awesome person that you are.”

I looked at him, nothing but honesty in his eyes. Smiling a little, I nodded my head and looked down, whispering, “Okay. Thanks.”

“You’re my best friend,” he said. “That’s what I’m here for.”

I looked back up at him, an unimpressed look on my face. “No need to get all cocky there, Rapp.”

He chucked again, pushing lightly on my knee, while saying, “You love it, Y/L/N. We both know it.”

“Do I?” I asked, narrowed eyes, but a playful look to my face.

“Yes, you do.”

I chuckled and leaned over the side of his bed, grabbing my bag and opening it, taking the notebooks and pencils out that I needed to rewrite my notes and to start on my homework.

A little background about Mitch and I; we’re best friends. Have been since about the third grade when my family moved from Florida to Massachusetts. We lived across the street from each other and have been inseparable ever since his parents came over with him and his brother to welcome us into the neighborhood.

When Mitch’s parents died, he became distant even though he and his brother lived with us until he and I graduated from his high school; his younger brother, Steven, a couple years behind us.

Yes, Mitch did get kicked out of three boarding schools because of his bad behavior or “discipline problems”. Was I there by his side? No, not really. He got into fights and even initiated some of them, which is something the school didn’t tolerate.

Anyway, let’s go forward to college… where we are now. Syracuse University! Mitch and I both had a pact to go to the same college when we started our freshman year of high school. We didn’t wanna be apart. When we both got our individual scholarships, we were both ecstatic; he got one for lacrosse and I got one for softball.

Going to the same college as Mitch has had it’s ups and downs, but mostly it’s ups. We’re hard on each other about the classes we have together, and we hold each other accountable for the classes that we don’t have together. It’s weird, but just go with it.

I sighed as I stared at my homework, not wanting to finish it. Quickly glancing at Mitch through my eyelashes, I saw that he was deep in concentration with his own homework. So, I grabbed my laptop and opened it, working on a project that I started what seemed like forever ago, but was just a few days ago.

“Why do you have your computer open?” Mitch asked.

I looked at him over the top of my laptop, confused as to how he knew that. “You’re not even looking this way. How do you know I have my computer open?”

Finally locking eyes with me for a second, he said, “I’m your best friend. I know your mannerisms. When you sigh while doing your homework like you just did, you always grab your laptop and start working on it, your mousepad clicking more than your keyboard.”

Letting out a quick sigh, I just looked at him before reaching over and grabbing a pen, chucking it at him, which garnered a laugh out of him. “You’re an ass, you know that?”

“You love it,” he smiled. Before he went to say something else, his phone dinged with a message. Watching as he read that message on the screen, I knew exactly what it was. Or rather who it was.

“Hey, listen--”

“I know,” I said. “Katrina. Date night?”

Mitch sighed while placing his phone back down, nodding. “Yeah. She keeps rescheduling on me. Told me that tonight was the only night she had free, so she wants to go to dinner.”

“Fancy place, or a place where you can still wear your clothes from lacrosse practice?”

“The diner down the street,” he explained, packing his bag back up. “Want me to bring you back anything?” Thinking it over for a moment, I ultimately decided that I didn’t want to intrude on their dinner date, so I respectfully declined, letting him know that I knew where everything was in his kitchen and that I would be perfectly fine.

Mitch had a small apartment to himself that we both absolutely loved. I helped him move in, and I may or may not have a drawer in his bedroom dedicated to my own clothes.

He finally nodded while getting up from the foot of his bed that he moved to once we started getting to work on homework. “Alright, uhm… I’ll be back later. If you leave and go back to your apartment, just text me and let me know.” “Will do,” I saluted. “Have fun.”

Before he officially left, he walked over to me and placed a quick to my forehead, something he’s always done. It’s more of a “I’ll see you later” type of thing, nothing romantic at all about it.

After I heard the door shut and lock, I got more comfortable in the spot I claimed as mine on his bed, continuing my project.

I’m not sure how long I worked on my project before I fell asleep. The only thing I knew was that when I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, Mitch was asleep on the couch, tv and table lamp on.

After I did my business, I turned off the lamp and grabbed the remote, turning the tv off before waking Mitch up and telling him to come lay in the bed while I took the couch. Before I could lay down after he stood, he grabbed my hand gently and gave me those sleepy eyes that I just could not resist; those eyes telling me to just sleep in the bed with him, platonically, of course.

Now, the thing that most people don’t know is that I have a secret about Mitch that I’ve been carrying for years. One that Mitch himself doesn’t even know. I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now, but… I’ve had a crush on Mitch since high school. And-and-and, no. It’s not some high school crush.

This is one that I’ve tried to act on, especially as of late. But when Mitch met Katrina, it was all downhill from there. Crush is still there, oh yes. But knowing that Mitch will never feel the same hurts.

So, laying here with Mitch in the dark, listening to him softly snoring put me in my feels very hard. Knowing that I’ll never get the chance to be with him for the rest of our lives, listening to him softly snoring every night, even in old age.

We’re getting sappy now, so we’ll just leave it at that as I cuddle a little closer to him, and finally fall back asleep.

~~~

When I woke up the next morning, Mitch was laying on his back while I was tucked into his side. Not wanting to lay here any longer, mostly because I had a morning class, I slowly and quietly slid myself from under his arm, and stepped onto the floor.

After I grabbed my bag and put my laptop back in it, I put my shoes on, not hearing Mitch sit up.

“Where are you going?” he asked, sleepily.

I sighed quietly and turned around to face him. “I have a morning class.”

At the look on his face, I knew he was thinking over his own class schedule, asking himself, “Do I have a class?”

“Yes, now get up,” I said. “I’m going home to change. When I get back, you had better had a shower and gotten dressed.”

Fake saluting, Mitch said “Yes, ma’am,” before I walked out of his apartment.

When I walked into my own apartment, my roommate and best friend, Lily, was sitting at the bar in our kitchen drinking some coffee while looking at something on her computer.

“Hey, Lill,” I greeted. “What’cha looking at?”

“Oh, nothing,” she sighed. “Just my schedule for the day.” Lily was very organized with her school and work schedule. “I’ve got a late morning class, then my afternoon class. Work after school, then nothing once I get back home. Speaking of, you never came home last night.” She gave me a look only a mother could give that immediately made me cave.

“Okay, so, I was at Mitch’s last night,” I began. “We were studying and then he left because Katrina asked about a date night or whatever, so he went and I stayed, then I ended up falling asleep and I was gonna take the couch and have him sleep in his own bed, but he gave me those eyes that asked me to stay and I did–”

“Y/N/N! Slow down!” Lily exclaimed. “Why do you keep torturing yourself by hanging out with him? I mean, I get he’s your best friend and forever crush, but I just don’t get it.”

Sighing, I set my bag down on the couch. “I don’t know, Lill. I really don’t. Every time I think about not hanging out with him for even a day, I get all sad.” My phone dinging got my attention, so I pulled it out of my bag and looked at the screen, seeing a text from Mitch.

From Mitch: hey, im ready. you coming back?

I replied to him, saying that I was and to give me a few minutes to get dressed since I had just gotten home and was talking with Lily. After she asked me who it was, I explained the text and she understood, telling me to get dressed and to head out so that Mitch and I wouldn’t be late for class. After changing my clothes and spraying myself down with some body spray, I walked out the door and went straight back to Mitch’s.

The best thing about Mitch’s apartment is that it was close to our first class of the day. No, we didn’t have the same class. We were different majors; he was an international business major, and I was a communication, journalism major.

Once I got to his apartment, I let myself in with the spare key Mitch had made for me. “Mitch! You ready?” I asked, walking into the kitchen.

“Ow, fuck” I heard him say. I closed my eyes and sighed as I heard his footsteps and him say, “Yeah, yeah. I’m ready.”

“Good, let’s go.” I turned on my heel and walked out of the door, waiting for Mitch in the hallway.

Once he closed and locked the door, we were both on our way to my car to head to our first class. I parked as close as I could before we both got out and grabbed our bags from the backseat.

“We still on for lunch?” I asked as we both rounded the car.

“Yeah, always,” he said. “Why wouldn’t I make time for my best friend?”

Shrugging, I looked down at the grass. “I don’t know. With you being with Katrina and all, it just feels like you don’t ever have time for your best friend anymore. But, I’m probably just overthinking it, to be honest.”

Mitch put an arm around my shoulders, bringing me into his side a little more. “I will always make time for you, Y/N/N.”

I chuckled. “Good. I don’t wanna have to kick your ass.”

Pulling me tighter into him, placing a platonic kiss to the side of my head after saying, “You wish.”

Laughing, I pushed him away, looking up at the building that held my first class of the day, wishing Mitch good luck in his. Once I saw Lily standing by the door, I waved to her before her and I went to our class.

When class was done, I called up Mitch, seeing if he was ready for our walk to our next classes, but he didn’t answer his phone. Not really thinking anything of it, I texted him, telling him that I was ready for our walk. He replied that he was already on his way to his next class with Katrina, since they had it together.

Lily saw the disappointed look on my face and looped her arm through mine. “Come on. Let’s go get a coffee.”

This brightened my spirits, my response of, “Ugghhhh, yes,” brought a laugh out of her.

“Every time you do that, it sounds like you’re having sex,” she said.

“A good, iced vanilla almond milk latte is better than sex,” I said. “Not that I’m having much of it right now, this schedule has me insanely busy.”

“But not busy enough to have lunch and sleepover dates with your guy best friend.”

I looked at her, brows furrowed. “That’s different. That's a habit.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

“Let’s go get this coffee. I feel like I’m gonna fall right here on this concrete after that class.”

~~~

As I sat in our normal booth at our favorite diner, I had most of my schoolwork in front of me, getting a headstart on the easier things while saving the harder stuff for when I was in more comfortable clothes lounging in my own bed or couch.

A body sat in front of me, fingers lacing together on the table. “Okay, so here’s the deal. You’re gonna come back over, but before you do that, you’re gonna pack a bag for at least a couple nights.”

Chuckling while writing out a draft for an assignment, I said, “Oh, yeah?”

“Yes. I have a test tomorrow and I need your help cramming for it.”

Looking up at Mitch through my lashes for a moment, I looked back down to my paper, responding, “Katrina can’t help?”

“Nah, she’s busy.”

I scoffed, not liking that answer. “So, I’m your last resort?” I asked, packing up my stuff, as to not be rude.

“No, you’re not,” he answered. “I figured you’d be busy studying for your own exams, so I asked her and she said she was busy tonight, so I went back to my first choice.”

“You’re confusing me,” I chuckled. “Let’s just eat. I went ahead and ordered for you.”

Mitch smiled, “You’re the best.”

“I know.”

~~~

“ ‘What are some of the problems that come up during international business negotiations? 25 pts for each one you put down.’, ” I read from Mitch’s study guide.

“Uhhhh,” he thought. “Payment issues, and…” He thought for a moment more as I checked off the answer he gave me. “Negotiations?”

“Negotiations in Home Country,” I corrected. “I’ll give it to you anyway. Just try to remember ‘home country’ if you wanna put that answer down.”

“Okay. Can we do at least one more? I’m getting pretty tired,” he said. “Kinda just wanna hang out now. We’ve been at this for hours.”

I nodded my head, giving my answer of, “Sure,” before I looked back down at the paper. “Alright, uhm…” I looked at the paper, skimming through for another question. “Oh! ‘What is international business?’ ”

“Shit, uhm,” he muttered.

“You’re thinking too hard about it,” I said. “Don’t think about it and I’m sure it’ll come to you. At least that’s what my dad used to say.”

Looking at me as if I gave him the answer, he said confidently, “International business encompasses all commercial activities that take place to promote the transfer of goods, services, resources, people, ideas, and technologies across national boundaries.”

I put the paper and clapped my hands once in excitement with a smile on my face. “You’re gonna pass your test!”

Laughing happily, Mitch twisted from his side to his back, putting his arms above his head. “Finally!” He turned his head towards me, asking, “What do you wanna do?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Watch a movie?”

Getting off his bed, I went into the living room where the movies were kept in a super big CD holder. I flipped through them, finding one that we both loved. “How about 21 Jumpstreet?”

“Let’s do it!”

~~~

“I know what you're thinking: angry, black captain. Well guess what? I'm black, and I worked my ASS off to be the captain. And sometimes, I get a little angry, so suck a dick!”

I was laughing so hard, I had Mitch pause the movie so that I could try and catch my breath. “That’s the funniest shit,” I laughed.

“That got you belly laughing,” Mitch chuckled. “Was it that funny?”

Finishing up my laughing fit, I wiped the tears that started forming from my eyes. “Either I’m really tired or those lines just really got to me.”

At my yawn, Mitch let out a chuckle. “I think you’re just tired.”

Like a child not getting their way, I whined, “But we just started the movie!”

“And we can finish it tomorrow,” he said. Standing up, he took my hands in his, standing me up in the process. “Let’s get your teeth brushed and you in bed.”

“But I’m not sleepy.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

Laughing, he said, “Alright, Chip.”

I sent him a glare and a middle finger as I walked to his bathroom, yelling, “Fuck you, Mrs. Potts.” Standing in front of the mirror, I grabbed the toothbrush I always kept over here. After wetting the toothbrush and putting the toothpaste onto the bristles, I ran it back under the water and put the toothbrush into my mouth, turning it on. Yes, I had one of those fancy toothbrushes that pulsate.

Once my teeth were as clean as I was going to get them, I spit it out then rinsed, spitting out the water after. I walked out of the bathroom, turning off the light after drying my mouth with the towel sitting on the counter, seeing Mitch standing at the foot of his bed. All I could do was look at my best friend with a small smile on my face. Not because of the crush I had, but because I was proud.

“Are you excited that you’re about to take your final exams in your college career?” I asked.

He looked up at me and smiled. “Yeah. Aren’t you taking yours, too?”

Nodding, I said, “Yeah, next week. But I know all my material, so.”

Walking towards me to brush his own teeth, he said, “‘Cause you’re smart as hell, but you’re still gonna study. Get into bed.” He kissed my head, like he always did before disappearing into the bathroom.

I chuckled to myself, shaking my head slightly. Hearing his phone ding, I went over and looked at the screen, seeing a text from Katrina. The smallest smile that I had on my face disappeared.

Hearing the bathroom door open and Mitch’s sigh following, I let out my own sigh. “Uhm,” I said, clearing my throat and turning to face him. “Katrina texted you.”

“Did you check it?” he asked.

I shook my head, holding his phone out to him. “It’s not my business.”

The look on his face told me that he was confused by my actions. “You know you can just check it, right?” Giving him an unamused look, I deadpanned, “I don’t wanna see her tits or puss, Mitch.”

He chuckled, taking his phone from my hand, opening the text. “She, uhm, she wants to come over tonight.” Another ding and a frustrated sigh. “I told her you were staying to help me study.”

“It’s okay, Mitch. Really.”

A knock on the door caused both of our heads to turn towards it, my eyes closing in the process, Mitch’s name being heard faintly on the other side. I guess Mitch knew what my next move was because he walked over to me.

“Don’t move,” he whispered. He walked off towards the door, talking with Katrina. Faking like I was going to get some water, I walked out of the bedroom with the cup from Mitch’s nightstand, going to the kitchen.

“Katrina–” Mitch said before he sighed.

“So, what’s the reason I can’t hang out with my boyfriend?” she asked.

Turning on the tap, I looked up at them through my lashes, Katrina and I locking eyes. I could feel the tension rising like a raging fire, so I turned off the water and placed the cup in the sink, trying to be slick with walking away from the sink. “Ya’know what? Imma go. You two obviously have some stuff to work out.”

“Y/N/N–” Mitch started as I walked into his bedroom.

“No, let her go, Mitch,” Katrina interrupted.

Walking out of the bedroom, I had my overnight bag hanging from my shoulder, my backpack hanging on my arm by the straps. While I walked to the door, Mitch followed me, saying, “Stay. Please, just stay.”

With my hand on the knob, I turned my body a little to face him. “Mitch, your girlfriend is here. Just spend time with her. We can hang out after graduation.”

“That’s in three weeks.”

I shrugged, whispering, “I guess I’ll see you then.”

~~~

“Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe we’re sitting here about to graduate,” Lily said, very excitedly.

“I know,” I squealed, a smile on my face. “I’ve been waiting for this moment since the start of the year!” I felt my phone vibrate against my leg, my dress having pockets. Pulling it out, I saw that I had a text from Mitch, saying that he was in the stand with my parents. I looked up, trying to find him in the crowd.

“Who are you looking for?” Lily asked.

“Mitch.”

“He’s not graduating?” she asked, confused.

“No, he did. It was a couple days ago.”

“Oh. Wait, I see him.”

I looked over to where she was waving, seeing him standing with my dad. How I missed his salt and pepper hair, I’ll never know, but I’m glad I saw him.

Once the Dean came on stage and did the opening ceremony, everyone quieted down, listening to her. I looked over at Lily, mouthing the same words our Dean was as she said, “This is a great group of students we have sitting here this year. All of them are unique in their own way.”

When the Dean was finished with speech, our girl from our class gave the welcome address before we finally were able to get up and walk across the stage to receive our diplomas. Once I was called, I couldn’t hear anything or anyone… except for Mitch. I heard him holler over everyone in the auditorium “That’s my best friend!”

Once everything was done and over with, all the graduates went outside and waited for our friends and family to find us. When I found my mom, I smiled, extremely happy that her and my dad came. I knew they were coming, but it’s different when you’re holding an accomplishment in your hands. Big hugs for both my parents before I was quickly turned around by Lily, who also gave me a hug.

The last person who I really wanted the hugs from was Mitch, who had a big smile on his face. As he gave me the hug, he lifted me up a little, spinning us around a couple times before stopping, my legs bent at a 90 degree angle the entire time.

When we both heard camera shutters from my parents phones, he set me down, both of us laughing at the embarrassment we were sharing.

About a thousand pictures later, the four of us made our way to our favorite spot off the campus. All of my stuff was already packed and waiting for me at my new apartment. While we were sitting at the restaurant, I turned to Mitch, asking where Steven was, his response being that he couldn’t make it because of his own exam schedule. I understood, as I was just there myself.

A little while later with everyone standing around the car, ready to go, Mitch received a phone call, walking away to answer. Yes sirs and no sirs heard throughout the conversation before a “Thanks. You, too” was heard before he came back to the car.

“What was that all about?” I asked, strapping myself in.

“Travel agent,” he confirmed. “Just wanting to confirm a trip I booked with him.”

A little hurt as to why I wasn’t in the loop, I asked, “Oh. Where you going?” “Ibiza, Spain. Graduation gift to Katrina. But it’s–” he said, hesitating at the end before continuing, “An engagement trip… hopefully.”

My heart stopped in my chest, my breathing stopping for a moment. He’s proposing? In Ibiza? I guess he noticed my reaction because he put his arm on the back of my chair, leaning in a little closer to keep the conversation between us.

“Look, I know it was supposed to be our after college before real world vacation, but she was real adamant on going.”

I shook my head, looking down at my drink. “No, it’s okay. I get it. It’s a beautiful place. She’ll love it.”

His phone ringing again stopped his response from coming out. “Hey, babe. No, I’m at dinner. Yeah. Yeah, tomorrow. Pack mine, please. Thanks. I love you. Bye.”

“You guys leave tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeah. It was the soonest the agent could get us out there. But, I’ll be back next week and we can hang out then.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

~~~

When you graduate from college, it’s supposed to be a while before you can get a good, decent job. Unless your father works for the local news station and can get you a job pretty quickly.

I had only been out of school for a few days before my dad told me he had a job lined up for me, and that all I had to do was go down to the news station with him and start my new job. That was all planned by him.

What wasn’t planned by him, however, was when a story was placed down on my desk for me write up for the news website about a terrorist attack in Ibiza, Spain. Once I read the gist of everything, I stood up from my chair, seeing Mitch and Katrina’s names, only hers had her birth and death date.

I couldn’t help the sad emotions that came over me that day. I know that Katrina and I didn't exactly see eye to eye when it came down to our time with Mitch, but overall, she was a very sweet girl and Mitch deserved her.

It broke me to write the story on the attack, but I wasn’t able to give it to someone else. But after I wrote it and sent it off to be approved, I went to my dad's office and asked if there was any possible way I could go see Mitch. He gave me the okay, and off like a rocket, I went.

Once I got to Mitch’s apartment, I knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer. I heard shuffling like things were being moved around before silence followed. I knocked again, saying his name and who I was, him probably having PTSD from overseas.

The door opening caught my attention after I walked a few away, and I took in his appearance; shirtless with a bandage on his right shoulder. Tears started welling up in my eyes as I placed a hand over my mouth. I guess this upset him because he just walked back into his apartment, going back to whatever it was he was doing.

I walked in, seeing that he had boxes scattered around. “What are you doing?” I whispered.

“Packing Katrina’s things,” he answered shortly. “Her parents want her stuff back. I’m packing my stuff as well. I’m giving my lease up.”

“You haven’t been here for a month.”

“It’s too big for just me. I found another apartment across town.”

I nodded my head, pulling the strap of my crossbody purse over my head, setting it down on the kitchen table. “Alright. I’ll help. What do you–”

“I don’t need your help. If I did, I would’ve asked for it.”

His answer had taken me aback. I didn’t expect him to be so short and hurtful.

“Are you sure you don–”

“I said I don’t need your help. Leave.”

Scoffing, I replaced my purse on my shoulder, looking at him disappointedly. “Look, I get what happened on the beach was a fucking horrific thing to experience, but that doesn’t give you the right to be such an ass.”

“That piece of shit took everything from me,” he sneered. “So go back to your perfect little life and stay out of mine.”

I was shocked at what just came out of his mouth. I couldn’t believe the words he just spoke to me, tears falling down my cheeks like a waterfall. “When you find my best friend, have him give me a call with an apology.”

“You won’t get one.”

I turned on my heel and stormed out of the apartment, not looking back for the next 18 months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N 2: hi friends! i hope y’all liked this! it took me four and a half forevers to write, just because i had a hard time coming up with scenarios before the movie events of AA. if you saw this post, i know it says it’s coming in three parts, but i’m changing it to maybe more. i’m not sure, though. guess i’m gonna let the story take itself where it wants to go, lol. anyways, i hope y’all enjoyed this. pls don’t hesitate to let me know what you thought in the comments, reblogs, or even my askbox.

Additional A/N: i know that in the movie, it doesn’t state whether or not the spain trip with mitch and katrina was a graduation gift or just a trip they planned / mitch planned for the engagement, so i added that in for sentimental reasons. part two will be out when i have it fully written.

~~~

Forever / Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24 @stixnstripesworld @fandom-princess-forevermore @quanticobae @mischiefandi @kellyashcroft @lauren-novak

Mitch Rapp Taglist: @stixnstripesworld @fandom-princess-forevermore @quanticobae @loveanii @good-vibes-and-glitter

If you’re tagged and didn’t want to be, please let me know.

~~~

*Please don’t post my writing anywhere else without my consent. The author of this work will always and forever be @stilinskiparker.

All characters, story lines, and plot aside from y/n and her storyline & plot, are all of the work of the creator of the late author, Vince Flynn.

*These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.

No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Posted on March 22, 2022

#mitch rapp #mitch rapp x reader #mitch x reader #american assassin #mitch rapp imagine #american assassin imagine #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien x reader #dylan x reader #dylan o'brien imagine #what love can feel like #wlcfl

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