#and then edwin was like ‘I hope not that story ends tragically!!’

[an-american-crisis]

listen I love charles regardless of if he ends up with edwin but calling edwin’s confession “one of those Orpheus and Eurydice moments” is absolutely an INSANE thing to say to your best friend who just told you he’s in love with you, cmon man

[emryses]

CHARLES & EDWIN + Orpheus and Eurydice

"This is like one of those Orpheus and Eurydice moments, yeah?" "I certainly hope not, that story ends tragically."

+ bonus:

[purgatory606]

I finished reading Metamorphoses during the past few days of internet shutdown (there was literally nothing else to do other than reading) and when I came across this part, I just couldn't stop thinking about how the Orpheus and Euridyce line makes so much sense (more like I'm seeing it in a new light)

"I hope not, that story ends tragically," Edwin had said. The thing is, their stories, as in, their individual lives had ended tragically. Both Charles and Edwin died horrible deaths. It is only after their tragic and untimely deaths that they had found each other. Orpheus and Euridyce reunited in death.

[paraphwrites]

i need you to understand that dbda is a tragedy & it didn't have to be.

it is a tragedy because the protagonists are sixteen year old boys who were victims of hate crimes. it is tragic because their deaths are senseless and didn't have to happen. it is tragic because they were killed by other sixteen year old boys who were taught hate and violence instead of compassion and tolerance. it is tragic because their deaths were probably the best thing that ever happened to them.

it is a tragedy because the boys do not let the tragedy define them. it is a tragedy because these awful, vile things happen to them, and they choose to be better, and they should not have to be. it is a tragedy because in our universe edwin and charles didn't come back as ghosts & they are just dead.

tragedies, by definition, must have a sad and/or unsatisfying ending. 'dead boy detectives' is the definition of a tragedy. because it ended sad (with niko dying) and unsatisfying (with the knowledge that niko is Out There Somewhere). 'dead boy detectives' was never meant to be a tragedy but because it was ended before it was supposed to be, it is.

edwin's life didn't have to be a tragedy. he very well could have lived past the war and become a writer or a librarian or a detective. edwin could have lived a long and happy life, and it wouldn't have been perfect, but it would have been human and complete. but his life was ended prematurely, so it is a tragedy

charles' life didn't have to be a tragedy. he very well could have lived through his father's abuse and created his own home with his own family where he never laid a single finger on his kids. he could have played music as loud as he wanted and kissed people in clubs and taught sports lessons at a community center. but this was taken from him. his life was ended prematurely, so it is a tragedy

but. it is also NOT a tragedy. because charles & edwin find each other. they find each other and they find love and hope within tragedy. because they live on beyond death, their story is not a tragedy

what i am trying to say is. 'dead boy detectives' is a tragedy because @netflix canceled them. it did not have to be a tragedy because it did not have to be canceled. and yet it still does not have to be a tragedy, because as a community, we have the ability to carry on their story, to find love and hope and community within tragedy

capitalism is a bitch and it is the inherent antithesis of art whatever whatever whatever edwin paine did not die for us to give up on this media. it deserves more. it deserves better. we all do.

you deserve better than the world. we all deserve more than we are given. but we cannot change that. we can just, like, make art, and have community, and keep shouting our love. we did not deserve this cancelation. but like. netflix does not deserve to warp their story into a tragedy. they don't have that right, i don't give it to them

[pedulum-chronometry]

There is something about Edwin and Charles stopping just short of the door out of hell while evoking Orpheus and Eurydice. Venturing into the underworld to retrieve the dead, making deals to have a chance to be back with the one you love, the pause and turn right before the exit. The turn being a confession of love.

Charles says he hasn’t read the ending to the tale, a tragedy known by Edwin, and funnily enough, that’s the answer to their plight - they don’t need a tragic ending or any ending like the original story.

Edwin and Charles are both already dead, they weren’t separated by death like Orpheus and Eurydice but joined by it. This fact makes their tale so different to the original.

I keep thinking about that Tumblr poll about the myth where the percentage of trusting Eurydice is behind you barely winning over the look behind option. Hoping we did it this time. We saved her. It doesn’t have to be a tragedy.

And I think we did it. I think they did it. Edwin and Charles succeeded. They can’t be separated by death. And in fact actively run from death side by side quite regularly. Truly the most paring of all time. Do not separate these two

[wordsinhaled]

hi there! I started following you after seeing your essay-long answers to DBD things in tags, and it made me very happy to see someone as deeply analytical as me about this show.

I wanted to ask you: if you were given the final say, how would you want the show to confirm both Charles' bisexuality and his romantic feelings towards Edwin (as both can be done at different points)?

Personally, I can't get the idea out of my head that it will be done with some kind of tragic goodbye, somehow Charles and Edwin have to separate, and Charles either verbally confirms it or kisses Edwin goodbye. Not saying that's what I want, but it's what I expect the writers to do.

Hope you're having a good day.

btw, would love to hear you talk more about timerogue (Fifteen/Rogue), I need more essay-long analysis about those two.

Hi there! <3 I am so happy you have enjoyed my tag rambles! And thank you so much for asking this great question, I had a lot of fun thinking through it!

I have many thoughts on this! Sticking them under a cut eventually because it is a long post!

Re: Charles' bisexuality: So the thing is I think that the DBDA universe generally seems to eschew labels in favor of showing rather than telling the audience what the characters' identities are. For example Jenny is interested in dating women, which is clear from her dialogue, and she goes on a date with Maxine, but she's never labeled anything. Edwin is never labeled anything by anyone in the narrative, either, but the narrative shows us that his only love interests and his desires and romantic feelings are for other boys. I would argue that we have been shown textually that Charles is bi, already, the same way the show shows-not-tells us other things. Charles by the end of the first season feels bi enough to me in a way that just feels like someone... living a bi life, and not yet realizing they might in fact be in love back with their best friend. I don't know how else to put it but I hope that makes sense. (My alternate, slightly sappier version of canon is that Charles fell for Edwin the first night, but has shoved it down for the duration of their friendship, but the former feels more likely as the direction I think we see on screen.) We are being told Charles is bi:

In the way Charles himself draws parallels between why he likes Crystal (his romantic love interest) and Edwin, pointing out they share the exact same traits

In the way he gives Crystal and Edwin the same genre of deep, loving gaze

In the way he thinks Crystal is fit, and he checks Edwin out, on multiple occasions, but only flirts with Edwin overtly in episode 8 ("My smile is pretty convincing," plus more than the usual amount of physical touch/proximity and less plausible deniability) once he can be assured by Edwin's recent confession that doing so will not be poorly received

In the different kinds of softness and masculinity he displays around both Crystal and Edwin

In the way that, despite not knowing the ending, he draws a parallel between himself and Edwin & a pair of lovers from classical mythology as though it is the most natural thing in the world to bring up the story of Orpheus & Eurydice, making overt the romantic potential of his relationship with Edwin

In the way he is so quick to write off that the two jocks were "just best mates" the way a person does when they are recognizing their own queerness in themselves and have to keep themselves safe from it, because of the environment that they are in (Charles being the Sports Lad, needing to fit in with other sports lads, and needing to avoid the censure/violence of his father)

And coming off the above, in the way that Charles navigates along the toughness-sensitivity spectrum within the social constructs of being "the brawn"

In the entire sparring scene in episode 1, tbh. The rituals are very intricate /drops mic

I understand the importance that's been placed by fandom spaces on "confirmed canon" queerness that is spelled out in so many words, given a label that can be pointed to to say "This character is definitely this!" but I think (and this is just my personal opinion) it can be reductive sometimes, and I don't really want Charles to label himself in that kind of way, just as much as I don't think the other characters needed the labels to "confirm" the queerness of their relationships or indeed of the show; having him be the one to do it for being bi would set him apart. I also think taking into account the time period that he grew up in, Charles would care more about living by the truth of how he feels and how he can use those feelings to connect with the one he loves, than what to call it. I just don't think we're gonna get like a "Hello my name is Charles Rowland and I am a verified bisexual"-type scene in season 2, and I think that's okay, and I don't really think that's the way for the show to 'confirm' it. Mind you I would love to see Charles talk about how it makes him feel to realize his feelings, and how his feelings for Edwin are different compared to how other people make him feel, because god, I love Charles so much and I just know such a scene would both destroy and heal me. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, CHARLES <3

I think it says something really important that many, many, many people took one look at Charles Rowland and said: "Oh, he's bi." Not like... he has bi energy, or could plausibly be bi, or whatever; for so many people he just resonated as being bi, in a very organic way. (I know there are people who do read Charles as being straight/having rejected Edwin in s1, and I respect that, but they probably will not like my ideas about Charles very much, then, tbh.)

For what it's worth, though, Jayden's acting choices playing Charles, and the way Jayden (and George) have addressed the 'straight best friend Charles' line of questioning during interviews, both make it seem to me that Jayden is intentionally playing Charles as bi and we are already supposed to understand this for what it is, based on Charles' actions—just as we understand similar things about other characters inner worlds we are shown. Whether Charles is consciously aware of it yet is more the up-for-debate part to me, personally. It's like he is dancing right on the edge of the revelation, or something, but his actions (and his EYES) are speaking for him pretty loudly already.

As for how he confirms it more obviously? Hmm. Well, I'll admit i think a kiss between them would be lovely, if only because I think it would quite possibly be the Most Kiss a kiss could be, with all of Charles' tenderness and adoration for Edwin poured into it. I also think it would be in-character, given Charles canonically misses kissing, and wants to do it with people he's interested in romantically (see Crystal).

Charles struggles with being able to admit romantic feelings out loud because he is scared of his own capacity to hurt Edwin; after all the only example of "romantic" love he has seen was his parents' marriage. Charles is a person who acts first, thinks later, but in this process of understanding what he feels for Edwin he's taking his time and being the opposite of impulsive. This shows how important his relationship to Edwin is to him and his commitment to Getting It Right. Even with that deliberateness, though, I think it would still be easier for him to express himself through a tangible action like a kiss than through words—at least at first.

It reminds me of this scene from the first draft of Maurice between Maurice and Alec. Alec is struggling to verbalize his feelings for Maurice, although he does know he feels them. He can say other things, but naming love for what it is is the challenge; and in the end they use a shared memory of a time Alec showed his love through actions (running through the rosebushes just to see Maurice's face) to communicate and mutually understand their love for each other. Similarly, Charles finds it difficult to admit a deep romantic love aloud, but his actions speak louder, in his determination to retrieve Edwin from hell ("There's no one else—no one else—I would go to hell for") and he can allude to the romantic implications of the act, by referencing the Orpheus & Eurydice myth. It similarly becomes, I may not be able to say the words, but you and I both know the lengths i would go to for you.

Maurice : "I love you, sir be damned." Alec: "Maurice"—never before had the word been spoken—"you're an angel." Maurice: "I don't want to hear that." Alec: "Maurice, Maurice" his voice failed also; he had once said the rest to a woman. "Maurice - what you've said I feel. Understand?" M: "I think so, but I want to be sure. Remember those rose bushes in the other rain? - Look at me hard - That's right. That'll do. It's settled."

As far as the catalyst for Charles revealing his feelings... a tragic goodbye—gosh, as heartbreakingly compelling as I know seeing George and Jayden act that out would be (I know they would crush it), I really hope the writers don't do that to them! The thing about Payneland that is so refreshing to me is how they manage to subvert trope expectations and break out of the tragic narratives they are placed in, and I think they would ultimately defy any attempt at separation. As Edwin says, "I will make sure that doesn't happen," about them ever being split up. I am rooting for a happily ever after for them, because they have both been through enough, and have fought tooth and nail to stay together.

Steve Yockey has mentioned potentially having Desire of the Endless cameo on the show and I also think having them and Charles interact would be a fascinating way to bring to light some of the deep-rooted stuff Charles struggles with around love (and would nicely parallel Edwin's experience with the Cat King which catalyzed his Charles-feelings realization). I also like the idea of the team maybe meeting a couple during a case who parallel Edwin and Charles and are romantically involved. Seeing that would allow Charles to externalize the way he feels for Edwin by seeing it reflected back to him by other people; sometimes things are easier to pick up on in others than in ourselves. I think that would be a fun way to get him to see what's been there under the surface for some time :)

Oh my god this got so long asfhlgkjhg SORRY

(I'm sure the Doccy Who fixation will come back in time for the Christmas special! :D)

[windybreeze12]

DBD Quotes that are my Roman Empire (and my reactions to them)

No version of this where I don't come get you - Charles S1 E7 (SIR???? IM SORRY??? If someone said that to me, i'd faint. Edwin is a strong one) .

Do you think it must be torture? Being the way we are? - Simon S1 E7 (I swear you could audibly hear my heart break when he said that) .

Teethface, what the fuck? - Esther S1 E6 (I love her. She's an awful person and is literally irredeemable but dammit she does her shit with style and sass and i love her) .

He did not feel the same way. But I think we are better friends because of it - Edwin S1 E8 (THEM. JUST THEM. I CANT WITH THEM.) .

You, Charles Rowland, are the best person I know - Edwin S1 E5 (It's like they want me to go throw myself off a cliff their friendship is everything to me) .

And we've got literally forever to figure out what the rest means - Charles S1 E7 (Charles is raising the bar too high i fear. the standards are through the roof) .

When you punish yourself, everywhere becomes hell - Edwin S1 E7 (*starts sobbing in the corner*) .

Imagine thinking there was only one way to do any one thing. How difficult would life be? - Kashi S1 E6 (I swear Kashi walked into this show to spit straight facts and then was never seen again. Icon.) .

We didn’t matter, he and I - Edwin S1 E1 (No because the way I swore to myself that I would protect these boys with my life the minute he said this) .

I will always hit a demon with a cricket bat for you - Charles S1 E6 (Fellas, never settle for anything less than Charles Rowland) .

I wasn't talking about you - Edwin S1 E5 (I'm not even kidding I paused the show, got up and had to take a minute because OOF Monty darling) .

As more than a friend, I’m afraid. Charles, I'm in love with you - Edwin S1 E7 (No joke this is one of the best scenes in a show I have ever watched. The acting, the dialogue, the pacing, the emotion??? UGH!!! Perfection) .

I certainly hope not, that story ends tragically - Edwin S1 E7 (There are already a million and one posts about the implications of Charles referencing Orpheus' story so go check those out but holy hell the way it made my heart twist) .

I could- we could lose Charles - Edwin S1 E3 (This was such a tiny detail but GOD I replayed it ten times before moving on) .

Honestly I just find her so charming - Edwin S1 E2 (I knew from this moment that Edwin and Niko were going to be a pair to watch. And boy was I right) .

That was my third life you bitch—i only get nine; would you fuck off - The Cat King S1 E8 (now THIS is how you creatively use a cat's nine lives in media I love it I freaking love it) .

You sacrificed me to a demon who traded me to another demon who traded me to a thing that is worse than a demon and this is your punishment! An eternity of papercuts! - Edwin S1 E7 (Honey I have an eternity of questions cause what the FUCK is this human trafficking system down in hell??? but also go off king??? 😭)

I'll update this whenever I remember anymore. Tell me more quotes in reblogs/replies i'll add them into this!

[screencapshd]

CHARLES: This is like one of those Orpheus and Eurydice moments, yeah?

EDWIN: I certainly hope not. That story ends tragically.

[the-rat-wins]

"Oh I get it, this is like one of those Orpheus and Eurydice moments, yeah?" "I certainly hope not, that story ends tragically"

Edwin really said: We are not a tragedy

[princezzleia]

Does anyone caught a hint for The Sandman SS2 in the Hell escape scene? When Edwin confessed his feeling to Charles and Charles said "This is like one of those Orpheus and Eurydice moments yeah?" and Edwin answered "I certainly hope not. That story ends tragically" I mean—my tears almost dropped. I'm not ready to saw it even though we all know the end.

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode eight thoughts

oh my god we're here... the finale... god i have so many thoughts with this. im gonna try to keep things slightly organized and do a little wrap-up at the end but. we'll see!

moved spoilery stuff under the cut haha. but also technically everything is a spoiler? so it's just all under the read more 👍

first of all... niko my love my heart. i've moved past the shock i'm just sad now... my girl!!! i hate being right sometimes like... god she was so kind and she tried so hard and and. huauaauaghh i don't have the words for this just know im absolutely gutted 😭😭

and crystal... god i love the way they did her memories and i love that she was an asshole, but also she was a neglected kid with parents who didn't even notice when she went missing!! god. it sure does explain some things huh... idk i love the way she reacted, how scared she was of the person she used to be. but ultimately, of course, the only way she can go is forward. the only thing she can do is live with who she used to be and choose who she wants to be going forward, and she won't be doing those things alone

JENNY IM SO GLAD JENNY CAME TO ENGLAND WITH THEM. it sucks that her shop got exploded but also i think it'll be good for her, to get a fresh start somewhere else after the shit she's been through. i'm glad she's staying with the group i care her ^^

monty helping save them... alright man. you're on thin ice but you're at least back on the ice instead of falling right through so. you have earned a little bit of my respect back and im sorry that you were bound to such a shitty witch 👍

ALSO HEY SPEAKING OF EDWIN'S LOVE INTERESTS. can we talk about the gorgeous animation for the cat king's story????? HELLO that was beautiful and so impressive!!! it really transported me into the story being told and it looked so classic disney which made a wonderful juxtaposition with what was happening. i love that so much!!!!!

esther... god what do i say about esther. her acting is phenomenal, she's so well written to be funny and absolutely terrifying, i love her story and i love the way it was resolved. i absolutely LOVE that she wasn't beaten by the gang overpowering her, it was karmic. it was the retribution for the lives she's taken, all the little girls she's killed for her own selfishness, and their retribution comes to claim her. who gets justice for them, indeed

OKAY can i just say. i am absolutely thrilled with how the lilith thing went down i didn't even think they would use the image of her in esther's memories to contact her!!! i hoped she would be involved somehow, would right the wrongs that had been done to those little girls, but i did not expect it to be this amazing!!!! god i love that they put those pieces into the show so early, so we were able to guess that they'd come together and then they DO in such an amazing way!!!

and once again niko saves the day by being genuine and talking to people... god i love her so much. she learned the exact information they needed for this fight episodes ago, by talking to the woman near the beach because she likes talking to people and learning things!!!! niko sasaki the woman that you were.... god the fact that it's were instead of are. im gonna fucking cry

and the ending!!! they aren't on the run anymore it's been recognized that they're doing good so they're allowed to keep doing it and helping people!!!!! GODDD that makes me so happy i love that so much!!!!!!

ALSO I WILL SAY. when the superior didn't give them her name and then said the thing that tragic mick (finally learned his name!) told niko before she died... im not gonna lie my first thought was that she Was niko like somehow after dying she ended up in the afterlife outside of time or whatever. i don't think that's true i think it's just the theme of the show and that's why they said it twice but. for a minute i was like HELLO???

but the very ending scene!!! niko and the sprites? i think? idk im really bad with faces and recognize people through their hair so. did not help that they were dressed sensibly for the weather and their hair wasn't showing haha. BUT STILL. was that her afterlife? why are the sprites there?? what does that scene Mean is there still a chance for her to meet the group again??? please i need answers you can't just leave me hanging about my girl!!!!!! 😭😭

god this whole show has been amazing i'm so glad i watched it... thank you noble for introducing me to dead boy detectives!! i have had such a good time, it's been an emotional rollercoaster and i'm so sad it's over. i'm off to the tumblr search to reblog whatever i find and then it's to ao3 for me, with noble's profile as a starting point and then i'll scour the tags haha. thank you guys for coming along with me on this lovely experience! i'm doing a little wrap-up summary below to end things off

FAVORITE MAIN CHARACTER: god this is so difficult.... it's gotta be niko or charles, but know that i say this with the other two very close behind. they're all fantastic, it's rare that even when i imprint on a character (in this case charles) the others are all so good that it's still hard to pick a clear favorite, with niko even rivalling that imprint

FAVORITE RECURRING SIDE CHARACTER: jenny it's gotta be jenny!! i love her scenes i love her personality she's so fun i love how no-nonsense she is only to consistently be dragged into the Most Nonsense. she's a delight i love her and her proficiency with knives

FAVORITE ONE-OFF CHARACTER: kashi!!! fish guy!! he is such a goddamn delight he is the first character whose name i learned On Purpose instead of through the natural course of the show. i love him he showed up for one episode, performed his role magnificently, and swanned off to implied further fascinating adventures. love that guy

FAVORITE EPISODE: okay surprising no one ever, probably episode seven? i love what it does with the characters, i love the scene of edwin and charles meeting (well worth the wait!), i love all of it

SECOND FAVORITE EPISODE: okay this one has gotta be episode four or the jock one. five maybe? idk im torn between those two bc of the excellent charles characterization and development we get, and i've mentioned before what a soft spot i have both for the scene where he first breaks down and the scene where he and edwin hug. i love them both i cannot choose!!!

FAVORITE LOCATION: this has gotta be the dead boy detective office or maybe the inside of the fish. idk they're very different locations but they both serve their purpose very well and have a lot to offer!! oh wait shit actually i take it back the inside of crystal's mind with the tree. that's absolutely gorgeous and i love it so much

LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER: daniel. the demon ex sorry i choose not to remember his name <3 he is daniel To Me. anyway they just did a really good job of making him a shitty asshole who also happens to be a powerful demon

FINAL OPINION ON THE CAT KING: uh. i mean i still don't respect him but he's a very fun character and i do enjoy his vibe. i actually liked him a lot better when he wasn't essentially holding edwin prisoner (imagine that!) so i think the coercive nature of that original dynamic is what really threw me off. i found myself enjoying his character a lot more with the bracelet off and them interacting on even footing!

and finally, i couldn't possibly choose so here

LIST OF FAVORITE SCENES

- charles dying and meeting edwin

- charles having a breakdown at the night nurse

- every kashi scene

- crystal speaking to lilith and when she appeared to claim esther

- simon seeing the blue light and possibly leaving hell

- pretty much all of niko and edwin's one on one talks

- the conversation between niko and crystal when they first opened up to each other

- edwin telling the cat king the binding bracelet is all he is and leaving to save his friends

- charles hugging edwin after edwin comforts him

- esther killing the cat king

- charles getting stuck in the loop of the devlin murders

- niko going out into the storm to save her friends

- niko's reading comprehension skills <3

AND MANY MORE that i am forgetting but here you go ^^ goddamn this show is good. hit me like a trainwreck though i need a fucking nap

[irish-urn]

I can't believe you actually managed to come up with his full life story when all I got was ~vibes~. Because basically all I did was find lyrics that spoke to me and kinda internally rolled around and wept inside. So...

the 1: Basically everything you said about Sally. Like. Yeah, I think he and Casey are gonna live forever and be happy, but she was his first love and I think there's a small part of him that wonders... you know the greatest films of all time were never made (Look, Derek as a film buff WONDERS about all the movies that have never been made) And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow (and it’s alright now) (I think he tells himself this when he aches, and when he looks back at his life) You know the greatest loves of all time are over now If one thing had been different / would everything be different today? In my defense, I have none / for digging up the grave another time (THIS. IS. DEREK. He just... keeps poking??? The same bruise???)

cardigan: You were far more eloquent than I about this song. That being said... When you are young, they assume you know nothing ‘Cause I knew everything when I was young (THIS. IS. SO. DEREK. Everyone thinks he's stupid and immature and doesn't get it, but he knows SO MUCH MORE than anyone (but Marti (and eventually Casey)) give him credit for) A friend to all is a friend to none (something I think Derek knows, but hasn't accepted yet)

the last great american dynasty: he’s a party king, dude. What can I say? I had a marvelous time ruining everything (that being said, this is Derek to a T.)

exile (feat: bon iver): UM. EVERYTHING??? I think I’ve seen this film before / and i didn’t like the ending Those eyes had insult to injury (this is just... so what Derek does. Glare from the corner because he's the injured party) I’m not your problem anymore / So who am i offending now? (honestly, I think he sneers this to his mom, George, Felicia, and anyone else who writes him off)

mirrorball: *weeps* And when I break, it’s in a million pieces (OUCH) I can change everything about me to fit in (double-ouch) I'm still on that tightrope / I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me (reminds me of that line about Derek as a child always trying to make people laugh...) And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why (Derek is SUCH a romantic, even though it doesn't make any sense) I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try (*weeping intensifies*) I'm still on that trapeze/ I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me (Gotta give the people something to look at)

seven: look, I know you said Derek&Edwin, but this also gave me massive smerek&smarti vibes. Love you to the Moon and to Saturn (Because it wouldn't be them if they didn't do a twist on the usual "moon and back". That's boring. No, they're going all the way to Saturn) Your dad is always mad and that must be why (honestly, the biggest divorce vibes...) And I think you should come live with me / And we can be pirates / Then you won't have to cry / Or hide in the closet (look, you talked about Edwin and Derek playing pirates, but he definitely played with Marti too)

august: this gives me tragic!dasey vibes… Like. "sick with sadness" kind of vibes. You're right: Derek IS august. ‘Cause you were never mine Wanting was enough / for me it was enough Back when i was living for the hope of it all

this is me trying: OUCH So i got wasted like all my potential (um. First year at Queen's anyone...?) And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad (THIS.) At least I’m trying (HE TRIES SO HARD)

invisible string: Dasey *cries And isn’t it just so pretty to think / All along there was some / invisible string / tying you to me Time, mystical time / cutting me open then healing me fine Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

betty: *sighs* This is just... such a teenage boy with too many feelings who does stupid things because he doesn't understand love and is clumsy with emotions and... Yeah. That's Derek. The worst thing that i ever did / was what i did to you I’m only seventeen / i don’t know anything Will you have me / Will you love me?

peace: just Dasey vibes But i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm (Derek doesn't have any chill. He and Casey are a bonfire) All these people think love’s for show / but i would die for you in secret (I just... *weeps*) And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences / Sit with you in the trenches (Because he's loyal. He's so, so loyal...)

Alright you, I am totally willing to chat with you about Derek Venturi's vibe being "folklore" by Taylor Swift. I'm gonna end up listening to that album again this weekend while thinking about him, my favourite blorbo, and internally screaming while I work retail; and I both blame AND thank thee.

Okay, yes, because here's the thing: folklore is an album full of contradictions and really fucking confusing plotlines and self doubt while simultaneously believing in oneself above all else and that is Derek Venturi to a t. (He's also Midnights but that's a conversation for another day.) Please add your thoughts to this somewhat comprehensible thing I wrote about this!

Literally ever since the thought came to me all I have been able to think is Derek being every song and I have ✨thoughts✨ on it.

the 1: alright, look, Derek is aware that people *think* he's cool. But the thing is, he's had two serious relationships in his entire life. Sally was cool, he thinks he loved her, in the fearless way someone loves when they're sixteen and might have had feelings for their stepsister at the same time. Being with Sally was cool, but he knew it never would've worked out long term because... *vaguely hand gestures to his brain, which must be at least 20% Casey.* It's not that Derek regrets being with and loving Sally, he's just aware it wasn't forever and was never meant to be. He always felt like he had to be better around her, to be a version of himself that didn't prank Casey and start wars with the football team (even though, hello, they're football players, Sally, they totally deserve it! Max is annoying and an ass and not a good partner to Casey and football is a terrible sport that only narcissistic egomaniacs who should be spouting the Star Spangled fucking Banner play), a version of himself that was soft and kind and just not Derek. He can be those things, but not all the time. His love language is fond insults.

cardigan: this one is how he feels a lot of the time. As a society, we've acknowledged this is a song about being used when someone needs something but not actually being what they need or want. That's how Derek feels. He's a god amongst men, alright, and that comes with people wanting him for something or another constantly. Do they care about him? Not really, but don't they do a damn good job of pretending? It's almost convincing. Just like the song.

the last great american dynasty: is he a woman named Rebekah living in Rhode Island after the death of her first husband? No, not to his knowledge. Does he fit the vibe of someone who decides that fuck it, he's going to spend the rest of his life doing a bunch of random hijinks with his friends and Casey and their pack of kids? Of course. That's literally Derek. He has dyed a dog key lime green (Casey didn't find it nearly as amusing as Derek and Molly did, because she is lame and needs to expand her horizons), he has decided to pace rocks just to look insane and aesthetic and he's certainly made questionable gambling decisions (hence Sky's conception. Use a condom, kids.)

exile: do you know how long this man spent pining after Casey?? If we take LWL into effect, it's twenty four years! And in those 24 years, Casey was never single longer than nine or ten months (because she's Casey and loves long term relationships and all the bullshit that comes with them because she's never done anything casually. Except the one time they fucked and he ran away to Paris and they never spoke of it again), which meant Derek had to watch her fall in love, over and over again, with different terrible men! Really, what was she thinking? A football captain, a douchebag who rated her (and only thought she was a six and a half, as if Derek would ever obsess over a six and a half! It's insulting), a guy who didn't have a personality and a neglectful husband have been her choices. He has to watch, from the sidelines, because she doesn't let him in after everything happened, after the fight and the sex and the avoidance. All he is to her is a stepbrother she once hooked up with. Nothing more. Meanwhile, his heart cracks every time he sees her and Peter on Facebook.

my tears ricochet: specifically the first verse is giving Derek vibes to me. He knows he can bring out every side of people effortlessly, he can read them like a book because Derek is so smart, it's just people smart! It's why he knows that he has to try and be the greatest (not that it takes much effort, but it's difficult some days) to get any attention, to get love from his parents and his family and everyone around him. Because everyone loves him conditionally and Derek is barely holding himself together. Scotch tape doesn't fix everything. But c'mon, Marti, Simon and Sky are the only people who have loved him without conditions, without terms of service. What else is he supposed to believe? That he's suddenly lovable and perfect and doesn't need to put in any effort ever because he's not a fuck up? That would erase literal decades of George, Abby and Nora's parenting.

seven: being a kid is fucking great, man. Even a kid whose parents don't like him, who make him feel like a fuck up because he had to repeat the first grade (look, alright, it's hard to focus and his brain won't because Derek is broken and he's aware. Moving on), a kid who tries so hard and never gets acknowledgement. And then his parents have Edwin! Just because! Edwin is planned, he's wanted, he's everything Derek isn't. But when Derek is seven, George and Nora start fighting more. He takes Ed (who's two) and they hide out in the backyard, in a shitty treehouse that'll probably result in a broken bone one day, playing pirates until Edwin falls asleep or the yelling stops, whichever comes first. Because being seven is also impossible. It's great in hindsight, but at the time? God, it sucks. He romanticizes it until he remembers having to scream so loud the neighbors thought something was wrong so George and Abby would stop fighting, remembers the time he broke his arm on the slide because they wouldn't get outside and play so he went first and they didn't even notice until three days later because they were in such an intense fight. Being seven was the best and worst of times and sometimes, Derek thinks it was his peak. In a weird competition, his parents would always try to shower him with love right after a fight. It didn't add up, but whatever, who is he to judge?

august: Derek is August. I need this to be known; he's the one waiting on a call, who desperately wants to get it and knows he won't. Casey won't call, she'll never call, because they fucked everything up, hooking up. He saw it clear as day on her face the morning after, it's why he went to fucking Paris. And honestly, he's never really a first choice, is he? He's always the backup guy, the guy who you drag out for looks but don't actually love. You'll pretend to, and you'll do a good job, but no one actually does and that's okay.

this is me trying: he tries, alright? It may not seem like it, with Derek being a solid D+ student, but he tries. So hard. It's not his fault that his fucking brain won't cooperate and he can't learn the useless stuff. Give him a hockey stick, he'll be so good you'll forget all about your problems, but don't make him do school. He hates it. The only topics he can learn about are the ones he's obsessed with (mythology, film, music, the history of video games that one summer, the bodice rippers Casey keeps under her pillow, Casey as a whole entity (this is entirely against his will. Believe him, his life would be so much easier if he didn't know so much about Casey and feel so much about her he cannot breathe and he can't talk about it so it just sits there, being a crushing weight on him because she is inconvenient! And annoying and the absolute worst!), hockey, all of Marti and Simon's interests, etc) and five paragraph essays do not fit that. But then there's the fact he practically is a parent to Marti, doing all the emotional and physical labor of one most of the time. He tries so hard to not fuck her up because he loves her so much. Ed's cool and he loves him, but Smarti's different, okay? When Derek met Edwin, he sort of just shrugged, loved the kid and failed to get him into anything cool. When he met Marti, Abby told him he'd be taking on responsibility and Derek took that seriously. He's uncharacteristically responsible with her. Marti is the fucking best. Derek tries so hard to not be obsessed with Casey, even though it feels like she's in his fucking bloodstream, she's running through him, she's a goddamn part of him and sometimes he wants to crawl inside of her skin and live there, because he knows she can't feel the same. Casey doesn't love him. Casey doesn't even like him! So he pranks her and grins and throws a fit when she dates Sam (which, seriously Sam? What a fucking betrayal, dude. The male code! It's a real thing and definitely not something he just pulled out of his ass so you wouldn't date his annoying and hot stepsister) and eventually tries to be a decent person because, for some reason, she doesn't give up on him. It's sickening.

illicit affairs: before Casey finalized her divorce with Peter, there was (shh, it's a secret, don't tell the family) an affair happening in her house. Take two guesses as to who it was. Derek and Casey? Brilliant. Yeah, it's an affair, and it makes Derek feel dirty, like all he's good for is being a secret boy toy, but he loves her so much that he'll take whatever she's giving, even if it's just bare scraps. Derek will break himself in half to help her, to make Casey feel better, and if being her mistress is how he does it, then it'll be fine. He won't panic about their future once her divorce is finalized at all.

invisible string: there is only one explanation for why Derek's felt so drawn to Casey since he first met her. She had a schoolgirl uniform on. Is it his kink? No, not particularly, but she's a hot girl in a schoolgirl uniform. He's not blind! But also, he met her and something in his brain lit up, some part he'd never known was there before, some part that made him want to be around her all of the time for some inexplicable reason. She's infected him like a cancer. It's evil. He loves it. There's something dragging them together constantly, and at his age of 38 (please don't mention it, he's coping poorly), he can admit it might be fate or the universe or whatever. Derek loves Casey and she loves him back. Has for decades, apparently. They should've pulled their heads out of their asses so much sooner, because they're in love and it's great and they go do all the cute coupley shit Derek used to swear he'd never do but in his defense: it's Casey and she lights up doing that bullshit and Derek is a total marshmallow when it comes to her. She even gets to steal his food! And watch her terrible reality shows during hockey games! This whole love thing has turned him into a disgusting sap of a person. Shoot him, please. He begs.

mad woman: Derek's spent enough time around women (Casey especially) to understand they are complex creatures. He'll never fully understand them, but he can try to. They get mad at... A lot, honestly, being a woman must be exhausting (Casey and Marti are constantly feeling things so deeply it's painful) and sometimes it's each other? He's not quite sure, but he knows they're mad. And when they are, do not mess with them. Even Casey, who is stupid hot when mad. The world is against women, apparently, so they get mad at that and the fact they have to pay for tampons (Derek ends up buying them, do not make it a thing) and having it be inferred they're just fucking insane. Which, to be fair, they are! Casey especially! But yeah, it's gotta be annoying, so he's trying to empathize and be feminist and other bullshit that Skyler has bullied him into.

epiphany: so here's the problem: Derek is aware he's had a pretty decent life, all things considered. No massive traumas, nothing a therapist should see him for. Still, he can't help but feel sometimes like there's a war being waged between his brain and the Canadian education system. It's fucking insane! School just doesn't work and Derek is broken because he doesn't get it, he doesn't understand, everything feels violent and he can't cope. Hence hockey, where he can hit things and people with sticks! Hockey is great! It's bloody and gorey and everything else Casey hates.

betty: oh boy. This one's a doozy. But it's not Derek's fault, he will maintain, that he accidentally pissed Casey off so much she won't talk to him. He made one joke about her divorce (which wasn't even that bad! The kids laughed! Simon laughed! Casey is the only one who didn't) and now she's stormed off and won't talk to him so obviously Derek needs to apologize. He hates apologies; they're lame and suck all the fun out of everything and they are the worst! But he does, and god, does he hope that it'll be enough for him to apologize by playing her a song he wrote and talking about his (ugh) feelings for her to kiss him in front of the kids and their parents and admit this is what she wants. Because this thing between them has always been on her terms, he's just along for the ride, but he'd really like to be with her forever.

peace: one of the few cons of being as amazing as Derek is that he doesn't get any privacy half the time. Neither do his romantic partners, as a result. He's aware of this and it's part of why he doesn't date anymore; it's too hard to find someone willing to deal with all of it. Once he and Casey officially get together, one of Derek's biggest fears is that she's going to realize he's not worth it. Because she'll never have a quiet, peaceful life that Casey deserves, not being with him. Everything will be an article and it's going to suck and Derek loves her. Will she be okay without getting that peace? He'd get it if she wasn't; it's okay, he won't hold it against her. She'll never get to live a normal life with him. When she tells him she'd rather insane with anyone else than normal with him, he may or may not shed a tear or two. Because he's not worth that, he isn't even close to worth the chaos that'll come with it, but Casey thinks he is for some reason, so Derek will keep trying to prove to her that he is. Every day for the rest of his goddamn life.

hoax: when love feels conditional and faithless, it's essentially a massive hoax. Derek doesn't believe in a love that'll exist with unwavering loyalty and faith and trust. It's not for him. Maybe for other people, but he doesn't get that. Everyone's love for him is a fake, a pretend, and Derek is great at pretending he doesn't know it. Love is bullshit, the kind they talk about in the movies. That doesn't exist for people like Derek. It exists for Marti and Casey and Edwin and Lizzie and Nora and George and hell, Abby and Dennis, but not for Derek. He's not wired to receive it. And he'll believe they all love him endlessly to go to sleep at night, waking up knowing it's a lie.

the lakes: sometimes, a man wants peace and quiet. He wants to go to an abandoned lake, write songs with his girlfriend, let the kids play and do whatever the fuck Luca and Sky do (he thinks Luca has a boyfriend?? It's confusing. He FaceTimes him a lot) and avoid people forever. And then Derek remembers how much he hates camping because urban hell scapes are his favorite thing, shrugs, and proceeds to overromanticize small New England towns until he goes to one. Let him have his fun, he's an artist. This is his muse.

[ladyeliot]

Prologue [T.S. / J.H.]

Series:  “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”

Pairing: Tony Stark/Justin Hammer x Fem!Reader

Summary:  Seaville, Maine, 1991. The sudden death of Tony Stark’s parents forces him to return to the town he left behind when he went to study at MIT (Boston). With his arrival, all the memories he thought he had erased come back to him. The events of his last year of high school and that summer of 1988 appear to him as if they were ghosts from the past, forcing him to confront them and causing him to rethink his life.

Warnings: Death of parents. Funeral. Drunkenness. 

Word Count: 5574

A/N: Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Christmas 1991 (4th year at MIT)

Who would have thought that after leaving that small coastal town in the state of Maine and having promised himself never to set foot in that place again, he would have to return. On that December 17, 1991, the press and every other media outlet reported a devastating news story that had happened the night before, "Howard and Maria Stark die in a car accident on Seaville". The impact of the news was far and wide, the country woke up the next morning to a headline that generated controversy about how it had happened and who would take over Howard Stark's position at his company's New York headquarters.

But none of that was relevant to Tony Stark's mind, who barely uttered a word when Edwin Jarvis crashed the MIT Christmas party with a phone call to inform him of the event. Maybe it was the amount of alcohol in his blood, or the fact that he could barely hear his own thoughts under the infernal noise of techno music, but it took him a few minutes to react. Just a few hours ago a long discussion with his father over the phone had managed to infuriate him, the fact that he again decided to spend the holidays away from his family and did not choose to return to Seaville he knew that his father cared little, but any excuse was good to lash out at him, or at least Tony thought so.

The first thing that came to his mind as he reacted were the last words addressed to each of them, a clearly sarcastic discussion with his father and a feigned indifference towards his mother because of his anger, who was trying to calm the situation between the two of them. That was the last thing the three of them experienced and it would mark Tony Stark's life forever.

The Stark family owned a multinational technology company that spread its power throughout the country, and Howard Stark had been in charge of it, as he was the one who ran it from its beginnings until his death. Few were the memories of Tony's childhood in which his father was present, he was always travelling and when they met again during the holidays they barely spoke to each other, because whenever they did, a fight between them would come to light. That was how Tony had written off their relationship. But things were different with his mother, who always tried to mediate between them and cared about him. It was she who interceded when Howard wanted to send Tony to boarding school abroad, or when she wanted him to change his residence to New York.

As he remembered all those things, a pang of guilt came over young Tony Stark, but Jarvis's words from the other end of the phone line brought him back to his senses.

"The funeral will be held first thing tomorrow morning, sir. You don't have to worry about anything, it's all set," Tony who stood leaning against a door frame in the fraternity house nodded impassively. "A car will pick you up in two hours so you can get there on time, sir?"

"Thank you Jarvis," he said deadpan just before he hung up the phone again and faced one of the hardest nights.

The apathy that can produce tragic situations in people can be somewhat frivolous, especially if you are one of those people who find it difficult to express your feelings.  The drive from Boston to Seaville took about four hours, some roads were impassable due to the snowfall that had occurred during that winter period. The numerous phone calls he had received along the way, most of them about the future of the family business, added to his apathy. No one understood how he felt, let alone anyone else, and he was alone in the world with Jarvis.

He took in the closeness of the place as he gazed out to sea. Seaville was known for its beautiful sunsets overlooking Maine Bay, the town had a population of just eight thousand, but it maintained an unblemished reputation as a community of artists and sailors, a fact that added to the economic status of the region. Maria Stark, formerly Collins, was born there, and it was her affection for her roots that led her to settle there again when she became pregnant with Tony's child. For a time Tony also shared her love of Seaville, but there were too many negative memories buried in the streets for him to return of his own free will.

When Tony saw the sign indicating the start of the Seaville settlement for the first time in four years, the knot that had been sitting in his stomach for hours increased its pressure, preventing him from barely breathing. He opted to keep his gaze fixed on a set of documentation about the company that Obadiah Stane had sent him before his departure from Boston, and tried to concentrate his thoughts on external things.

"Sir, we're here," the gentleness in Jarvis' voice reassured Tony after pulling him out of his thoughts.

The words spoken by the young adult had been sparse, barely possessing more than one syllable. As he stepped out of the car he recognised the place, and it was just then that it crossed his mind that he wished anything could have stood in his way, just so he would not have come to this place.

The funeral had been arranged in the Seaville cemetery, a place on the top of a small hill surrounded by a wide grassy esplanade with birch trees. Jarvis stood by his side, waiting for him to take his first step to join him, but Tony's limbs seemed to be locked at that very moment.

"Your mother always spoke of the peace of this place," he commented, urging Tony to walk. "She would have wanted something intimate."

The funeral had been arranged as quickly as possible to avoid the crowds and to keep the wishes his mother would have wanted. The last thing he expected was for them to turn his parents' funeral into a public event and for any news channel or media outlet, national or international, to broadcast it like it was a bloody movie.

"That's right."

After Tony took the first step, the next two hours went quicker than he would have thought, Jarvis was right in his words, there was peace in the place and Tony found that out. It was fortunate for him that they arrived when most people were already there, it meant that for the moment he didn't have to hear any comments lamenting the event from anyone present. So he just hid his gaze under a pair of sunglasses, avoiding eye contact with any grieving faces. He recognised many of those present, from employees of local businesses to some Stark Industries officials who had managed to arrive in time after hearing the news. Still, while he wanted to avoid bumping into anyone, he was hopeful of the presence of several people, who were probably not going to be there for external reasons. Either because they did not yet know the news or were not in town at the time.

With the reverend's last words the coffins of his parents were lowered and buried several feet underground. Tony was unable to take on the role of offering a few words, he simply stood there quietly and received the condolences of several of those present. As they passed by one by one, Tony merely offered them a simple nod with his face, barely looking up. It was minutes later when Jarvis put his hand on his shoulder, awaiting their departure for the car, but Tony needed a moment.

"You can go to reception, Jarvis, I'll stay a bit longer," he informed her. "By the way, if you see that I haven't arrived before I'm done, don't worry, just go home."

"I don't know if..."

"Please, Jarvis," she said without looking at him.

"All right, sir."

The funeral reception at the home of his youth would only foster an increase in his feelings of guilt, he would not be able to walk through that door and lock himself within those four walls, find out if everything was as he left it or if there had been any changes in the four years since he left for MIT, so he decided to let time pass.

He reached a point where the sun was setting, his mind hadn't noticed the passage of time but he sat in that chair for three hours. He was so lost in thought that he barely noticed a presence behind him until the person approached the graves and dropped a small bunch of daisies on the freshly scattered sand, a fact that made Tony wipe away his tears quickly.

Tony stood up while being grateful for the change in his body's posture, his watery eyes didn't allow him to recognise the figure at first, but after blinking a couple of times he realised that his brain wasn't playing tricks on him. It was you. You didn't hesitate to approach him and put your arms around his shoulders, causing Tony's body to become paralysed. His wits had been switched off for hours, as had his mind, but that moment brought his senses back to life. Your scent, your warmth, your body contact, your eyes, and hearing your breath so close again turned his broken heart.

"I..." began Tony in a whisper.

"Don't say anything," you cut him off without breaking the embrace.

After a minute you opted to pull away, seeking eye contact with him, which was prevented by Tony's sunglasses, so without giving up you reached up to them and slowly took them off, noticing that under them those hazel eyes were still present, slightly reddened.

"There you are," you said with a wistful smile.

Tony hated himself for not being able to cope properly with the moment that was unfolding before him. But he accepted that you of all people knew his limitations when it came to expressing feelings, whether they were positive or negative. It was true, you knew, so having enjoyed seeing that under that suit and his new appearance he was still the same Tony Stark you knew, you put his glasses back in place.

"I guess you'll be wishing you were alone," you said, lowering your gaze. "You know where to find me if you need me."

You offered him one last smile, which almost took Tony's breath away and, just as you had reached him, you turned around to continue on your way.

Unlike the funeral, the news seemed to have already been published in most of the sensationalist media in the country, so the funeral reception at the Stark house welcomed more than two hundred people who wanted to give their condolences, but those condolences never reached Tony, as he hardly appeared there. It wasn't until after half past ten at night, with the moon showing its clear figure in the sky, that he came face to face with his past.

Jarvis had taken it upon himself to collect every bit of food and flowers that the guests had brought with them, a gesture that Tony was grateful for, for now he only had to face his past memories and not the present situation. As he entered the hall and walked into the living room he realised that it was a vivid image of his childhood, the mantelpiece displayed before him filled with Christmas decorations, a large tree full of ornaments, most of them homemade, made by his mother, garlands draped around the mantelpiece and Christmas boots. That was a shock. After clicking her tongue, she opted to walk away in the direction of the kitchen, the knot in her stomach having mingled with roars informing her that she'd better eat something if she didn't want to pass out. Jarvis had been considerate enough to save some leftovers from the reception, so he grabbed the plate of larded meat and headed off to face the floor above. The night was going to be a long one.

After climbing the wide marble stairs he discovered a closed door at the end of the corridor, with a sign reading "Genius at work", those three words provided perhaps the first smile in hours. He walked towards it with a series of doubts in his gut, but eager to know what he would find behind it. He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it, the first thing his senses picked up was a deep musty smell, the gloom was still there, but soft rays from the moon coming through the window made him resemble each of the furniture and objects there.

Before him time had not passed, his large room filled with gadgets on every shelf and desk remained just as he had left it before he left for MIT in the summer of 1988. He placed the plate on the bedside table and slipped his hands into his pockets, walking around the room. His outward calmness was extreme, though inside he seemed to be distressed and nostalgic. A crunching sound under the soles of his shoes made him realise that several screws and pieces of metal were lying on the carpet. Everything was as messy as he left it, even that robot he had made for his last academic year in high school was in pieces on the desk.

"Idiot," she said, glaring at him.

It was at that very moment that it dawned on him how exhaustion, both mental and physical, was consuming them. Tony flopped face down on his bed with his eyes closed, letting the fragrance of his sheets envelop his senses. Every aspect of his surroundings seemed to take him back to his high school years, so he struggled to keep it from happening, opening his eyes again and recomposing himself on the mattress. He slowly surveyed every nook and cranny of his bedroom again, until he let his gaze linger on a wooden box next to a trophy from the state's Artificial Intelligence contest.

"Shit..." he muttered to himself.

He knew its contents, he knew that it was perhaps the most dangerous thing to be found in those four walls, he knew that it was possibly the thing that was going to destabilise him emotionally, but he had to get his hands on it again and open it. So he jumped towards that shelf and took the box in his hands, opening the lid and making all the contents scattered on his bed.

Dozens of photographs practically flew out of the box and landed on the bedspread, each one showing a unique moment in Tony's life, the curious thing is that in the vast majority of them you were present, and when you weren't, it was you who had taken them. On the white borders were written different words, in your handwriting, leaving a record of when and where they were taken. "Steve's seventeenth birthday", "First game of the 1987 season", "Christmas 1985", "First day of high school Steve, Murph, Nat and Tony" "Graduation day", "Murph trying to fish with Nat", "Murph's eighteenth birthday", "Beach party", "Murph driving to Portland", "Murph roasting clouds", "Murph..."

A clattering noise pulled Tony out of the halo of longing he had become, that damn automatic mobile phone that was impossible to break away from as it was the only thing that connected him to his future, Stark Industries, began to ring. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but fleetingly disappeared as he wiped them away with the sleeve of his jacket before picking up the phone.

"Hello?" he asked with his eyes closed and his head down.

One of the company's senior managers was behind the phone line from New York, the discussion became heated, they were demanding his presence at the company's New York headquarters as soon as possible. He had been receiving those calls ever since the tragic accident had reached the shareholders' ears, the curious thing is that none of them were to inquire about his state of mind or even his state of mind, so that was how it pushed him over the edge, showing the hidden feelings he had inside.

"My parents are fucking dead and that's all you care about?" he shouted into the phone. "Can't you stop thinking about your own interests for once in your life?"

The device landed against the headboard of his bed, the funny thing is that even so the voice of the major shareholder was still making its presence felt, to which Tony completely beside himself left the room and closed the door generating a deafening echo throughout the house. He knew he was not going to be quiet until he did what these people wanted, his freedom was gone, too many things were gone. From that moment on, he had become one of the most powerful men in the country overnight, and in the same way he had acquired numerous responsibilities that he was not yet ready to assume.

As he dropped in the middle of the stairs, hiding his face with his hands, a strong headache came over him, an accumulation of sensations and feelings prevented him from reacting to calm down, it was then that after a few minutes he went downstairs quickly, heading towards his father's cupboard in the office. During his youth he had approached that cupboard too many times, usually full of alcoholic beverages, but when he went to open it, he was shocked to find it completely empty. He hoped that the location of those bottles had changed to somewhere else, so Tony opted to quickly rummage through any place he could think of where there might be a bottle, but his search was in vain.

"Shit!" he slapped his hand on the kitchen counter. "Shit, shit, shit!"

Almost unconsciously he headed back to his father's office and opened the top desk drawer, where he found a box with a combination, oddly enough the one from his birthday, inside was a collection of keys, he pulled out the one to his red porsche.

He knew and acknowledged that the state of nerves he was in was not the best to get behind the wheel, but he was really desperate, and there was no one to slow him down at that moment. He drove to the first place that came to his mind, as there were not really too many choices in that coastal town that could be found open at that time of night. On the side of Maine Bay, near Seaville harbour, was the Captain Lou's, a perfect place to go for a fresh fish dinner or after-dinner drinks.

He was driving at such high speeds that it took him barely five minutes to pull into the car park, braking so aggressively that he left wheel marks on the road. He got out of the car still wearing his funeral clothes, with his hair completely dishevelled and hiding his eyes under his sunglasses. The place was a fisherman's house situated on an old pier, there was a small porch before entering where a small bell rang as Tony opened the door, he instantly recognised old Lou behind the bar, who was still holding his place as usual. He looked around, taking off his sunglasses for the first time, leaving his brown eyes completely swollen and reddened, which would make an impression on anyone who saw him, but Tony didn't really care at the moment. Still, he was grateful that the place wasn't too rowdy, just two small groups of adults and a couple at a far table. The bar was completely empty, so he took a seat at it, when Lou approached he was a bit perplexed by his presence, but he chose to take it as a matter of course.

"Sorry about your parents Tony," he said wiping the bar right in front of him.

"Give me two of the strongest you've got," he said ignoring her comment.

Just as Lou had poured him two glasses of whiskey, Tony digested them seconds later, informing him to refill them. Tony knew what he wanted, a night to forget, perhaps in the worst place to forget, as it was all memories. While he waited for a refill, as Lou was hesitating, Tony turned his gaze to the far table where the couple were having a drink, since he had entered there was something strange on that table, he thought he had seen someone familiar, he squinted his eyes hoping to sharpen his sense of sight, which was quite impaired at the moment, but it dawned on him. It was you, again, with an unknown boy whose face he couldn't see, as his back was to Tony. Without taking his eyes off you, he quickly gulped down the two glasses of whiskey Lou had poured for him.

"Put the bottle down," he said without paying attention to Lou.

The minutes passed, he was hesitant, irritated, distressed and completely broken inside by the accumulation of situations he had experienced in less than a day, and now he found you there, listening to your laughter, with an unknown guy. It was really the last thing he needed to end the day. The alcoholic solution was slowly affecting his senses, he had barely eaten all day, his only intake had just been four glasses of whiskey and that increased his feeling of drunkenness, along with all his negative emotions. As if something inside him was guiding him to you, Tony picked up the bottle of whiskey, which Lou had definitely been forced to leave on the bar, and staggered up from the stool. His jaw completely rigid, he walked as if an external force was pushing him from side to side, until he reached your table. You could hardly believe your eyes, the same thing happened to Tony, he could hardly believe you were there, next to him, and what hurt him the most was that you hadn't stopped laughing since he practically walked in. That generated the rage that joined with his sarcasm coming out.

"Tony..." you whispered, causing your companion to look up at him.

"Wow! But who do we have here?" a hysterical laugh came from within you. "The prodigious Justin Hammer. Wow... I didn't see you at my parents' funeral, how strange, with how fond you were of my father... I thought I'd see you around."

Yes, your escort that night was Justin Hammer, the cherry on top to make him remember Tony.

"Ah, no, that all that love was just because you wanted to get a good position at Stark Industries," Tony dropped his hand on Justin's shoulder and approached him. "Bingo! Now I'm the CEO, are you going to lick my ass like my father too?" the Stark sarcasm was again booming.

Your gaze flicked between Tony and Justin, who kept a straight face, keeping his composure in the situation. Tony took a small swig from the bottle he held firmly in his right hand, he could barely see your faces as his mind was affected in multiple ways.

"Oh, sorry for the interruption by the way," a burp came from inside him. "Was that a date? Are you two dating?" Tony arched an eyebrow pointing at you respectively. "Oh man, I see you didn't get a position at my company, but you hit the jackpot," he began to laugh. "Hey! I'm glad, you two make a cute couple. Yeah! I mean it, you're perfect for each other."

Tony's bitter words came out under your serious and sorrowful gaze. "Mind you, I have to warn you that in bed..." he began, but you instantly got up from your chair and grabbed his shoulders.

"Alright Tony, I think you've had enough to drink for tonight," you gripped the bottle tightly, in a failed attempt to take it from him.

Tony's impediment to having the bottle taken from him caused him to stumble into the table behind him, causing him to lose his balance, to which Justin Hammer quickly got up to try and hold him down.

"Don't even think about touching me," Tony said in a somewhat aggressive tone with a scowl.

"Tony..." you pleaded holding him by the arm.

The plea that came from between your lips made him react before the situation reached a point where there was no turning back. Hearing his name and seeing your gaze, he felt as if a dagger was stabbing into his heart, another one.

"Yep... I'd better go. Show's over here for today," Tony said, putting on his jacket properly and stumbling towards the bar, leaving two hundred dollar notes behind. "Keep the change, Lou, I'll take the bottle."

Just as he had walked in, well, with a drunken state in his body, he walked out. The door closed behind him, to which Tony then made a difficult attempt to descend the stairs without holding onto the railing at the same time as he pulled the keys to the Porsche out of his back pocket. The five metres to the car seemed like an eternity trying to maintain a dignified posture as he fought against the spinning of his head, but it was just as he was about to open the driver's door that a presence pulled him back.

"I'm not going to let you take the car in this state," Tony smiled broadly with arrogance as he sensed your presence behind him. "I don't want to go to another funeral tomorrow."

"I think your date would love to attend."

His mood was completely bipolar, a minute ago he might have been able to throw Hammer out the window, right now his arrogance was winning the day. Reluctantly you snatched the keys from his hands, heading for the passenger door while holding Tony by the arm.

"Just like that? Honey, I knew how much you loved my car and how much fun we had, but..." a half smile, his half smile that drove you so crazy, both in the positive and negative sense came across Tony's face.

"Shut the fuck up, get in the car and let me take you home so I can sleep soundly tonight," your voice sounded stiff and angry.

"Why don't you stay?" whispered Tony in a poor attempt to show seduction, as his voice sounded drunk and gave off a strong smell of alcohol. "Although I can't promise it's going to be a quiet night."

Your mood wasn't prepared to put up with Tony's nonsense, let alone in his state, so you pushed his head towards the inside of the car. From there, Tony could watch as you said goodbye to Justin, to whom you handed the bottle of Whiskey he had admirably taken from Tony without him even noticing, and then climbed in beside him.

"Tell me the truth, you and Justin Hammer?" the laughter of Tony flooded the place as you started the car. "How quickly you forget the hard knocks of the past."

"You have no idea..." you whispered wryly to yourself.

"Honey, I think you can do better than that," the arrogance was in his voice, which reminded you of times gone by.

You listened to his comments in silence, keeping your eyes on the road, avoiding getting into a stupid argument with someone who was drunk and barely able to cope with the many feelings he had.

"I recognise that look, you're angry," he continued, breaking the silence. "I know, I get it, I've ruined your date tonight. Although I must admit it didn't look very stimulating from the outside, but I'm not one to judge."

"Exactly," you mused.

"I was quite surprised though, I thought that by now you and Steve... well you know, that you would be together, after everything that happened..." those words from Tony caused your right foot to stop dead in its tracks at that instant.

"After what happened?!" the disbelief was in your eyes. "Alright... Look Tony, you're nobody to show up here after three and a half years of showing no signs of life and barge into other people's lives to judge them. So shut your mouth and let me take you home quietly."

Those words of Tony's had struck a chord within you, your eyes became watery.

"You know I didn't come back because I wanted to," Tony said seriously. "But don't worry, I'll disappear from here tomorrow."

"Great. It's what you do best."

Instantly you regretted what you had said. The ride to the Stark residence continued in silence, neither of us taking it upon ourselves to break it. Tony kept his head leaning against the window, eyes closed, head lolling slightly against the glass, but strangely he had found comfort in the position. As you walked into the garden you got out of the car without so much as a glance at her, slamming the door which was what seemed to wake him up and let him know you had reached your destination.

"You know where the phone is," Tony reported, opening the car door and clumsily getting out.

It seemed like hours before he reached the front door, found the keys, managed to choose the right key, inserted it into the lock and opened it. In the kitchen the phone was waiting for you, you were lucky that there was a phone book and it didn't take you long to find the number of the taxi service.  In the meantime Tony dropped his body on the sofa.

"The taxi won't be long, I'd better wait for it at the entrance," you approached him.

"Great," Tony said impassively.

The room was spinning around inside Tony's head, he kept his eyes open and staring at the ceiling, it was funny, he thought, he used to get drunk regularly at college parties, but this seemed to have affected him as if he had never tasted alcohol before.

"You know," Tony said without looking at you. "There was always the idea in the back of my mind that things could have been otherwise, if it hadn't been for..."

"Don't finish the sentence. Or you know you'll regret saying it tomorrow," you stopped your steps, as you were already heading to leave, and turned around to look at him. "Look, I don't know what you want Tony. I don't know what you want me to say, and I don't know what you're looking for by stirring up the past with your words. I understand it's been a hard day, maybe the hardest day, and I can't come to grips with what you might be going through," you knelt down beside him. "If you need my help, I've told you before, you know where I am, but please let's not make this night any more complicated," your words were soft, so soft that Tony turned his gaze to you.

There you were again, on that couch, Tony lying down, you kneeling next to him, looking at each other, neither of you would have ever thought that scene could ever happen. Your words were tender, you felt vulnerable in front of him at that moment, and all he really needed was someone to show him affection, even though he didn't know it.

"The last thing I want right now is to argue with you," you whispered, ducking your face. "I'm sorry for yelling at you in the car earlier, and I'm sorry for what I said. I don't want my last memory of you to be like that."

It had been years since the two of you had been within such close distance of each other. Tony found that despite the haircut, your appearance had hardly changed. That mole under his left eye was still there, and the rosy cheeks you'd gotten from the cold still gave him a glimpse of the field of freckles that covered them. The small scar on your chin, which you got when you fell off your bike because he had thrown the football in your direction, was also there. A shudder came over you, causing you to quickly get up from that position and regain your composure, as a hundred memories seemed to come flooding back. Tony made an attempt to sit up, but at that moment the horn of a car saved the situation.

"Oh!" you looked at Tony and pointed to the front door. "I'd better go, I.... Goodnight Tony."

"Goodnight..." mused Tony watching you leave.

Silence took over the house again after the front door closed following your departure. Tony stood there, staring at the emptiness you had left for the second time in him, thinking of a title for your whole story.

Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

[womanofwords]

Writing Prompt #4

You run a support group for people whose lives were ruined due to a chosen one prophecy. One of your newest members is not like the others.

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen, lovely turnout we have here,” the session leader, Rosa, greeted. “I am so glad that word about this support group is spreading. It seems we have three new members. Would any of you like to introduce yourselves?”

One of them stepped up, nervously tucking a coil of curly black hair behind a light brown ear. “Hi. I’m Eugenia Baker. Most of you don’t know me, but I’m sure you know my brother, Edwin Baker. When we were babies, the village wise man checked us over and deemed my brother to be the chosen one. The entire village completely idolized him and forgot about me. They said he’d do great things, but they got it wrong. He was the evil one. He ruined everything.”

“That was the kid that destroyed my family’s business!” someone yelled.

“I’m so sorry,” Eugenia sighed, tears welling up.

“Guys, guys!” Rosa said loudly. “This is just another sad reminder that we are all tragically linked here. Eugenia, don’t think for a second that this is your fault. You are not your brother’s keeper.”

“I know that, but I feel like I should’ve at least tried to stop him, done a better job of telling people about how he was really,” Eugenia sobbed.

“That’s not your fault, either. Nobody ever believes that these chosen ones can do anything wrong,” another one of the new arrivals said. What they could see of his skin was littered with scars, not unlike some of the others. The biggest one that they could see was across his wide, flat nose. He wondered if it had been broken or it just looked like that. “Hi. I’m Paul, by the way.”

“Hi, Paul,” a few of the other members mumbled.

“So, Paul, what brings you here?” Rosa asked.

“I wanted someone to talk to,” he replied.

“About . . . what, exactly?” Eugenia replied.

“It seems every town or city or groups of cities has some chosen one hero, and then this hero does something awful. For me, it’s that they were fighting with some fire-using brothers and they were wrestling and . . .” His lip wobbled and he buried his face in his hands, his body shaking.

“It’s OK. Take your time,” Rosa encouraged. He wiped a tear away from his eye and wiped his hands on his jeans. They left dark trails where he had wiped them clean on the blue denim.

“The hero in my town, Shining Star, threw the Maniac Twins into a house to incapacitate them. That house was my house and . . . my family was in there at the time,” Paul replied.

The air seemed to leave the room. “I’m so sorry,” Rosa softly replied.

“Everyone got out OK, but we’ve been homeless ever since. We wanted the council to pay for a new house, since Shining Star is bankrolled by the government, but it’s been radio silence from them,” Paul replied. “We’re currently in the process of a class action lawsuit against the city.”

“I hope this legal battle goes well for you,” Eugenia replied.

“Thank you,” he said, pushing a lock of brown hair out of his face. The room was decidedly quiet.

“So, would the final newcomer introduce themselves?” Rosa asked tentatively, looking to their final member. They sat there hunched over in a black robe that appeared to pool on the floor, their face shrouded from view by a conveniently large hood.

“OK,” they replied, straightening up. Their body shape appeared to be stringy and lean, but also rather tall. “Hello there. I’m Winston.”

“Hi, Winston,” a few members droned.

“Winston, do you mind removing your hood? In this support group, we like to have a more . . . transparent attitude,” Rosa informed, looking uneasy. He let out a sigh that sounded like a growl, and removed the hood. He looked . . . surprisingly normal. Blue eyes, a button nose, cherubic eyes. There was none of the scarring or horrific disfigurement that the other members were imagining. His face didn’t fit the lanky body he inhabited, or the hood he’d draped over his frame.

“Like I said, I’m Winston. And I was a chosen one,” he said. The uproar and the outrage was almost instantaneous.

“How dare you?! This is a place for people to talk about the trauma that comes with chosen ones! This doesn’t apply to you! Get out!” Eugenia snapped. Her lip wobbled as she shouted at him. She was close to tears.

“I’ll escort him myself,” Paul angrily offered.

“Wait! Let him explain myself!” Rosa protested. The angry cries died down, but there was still some angry glares directed his way.

“When I was first told that I was the chosen one, I thought everything was going to be great, you know? Destined for greatness and all that stuff.”

“Are you done bragging?” someone growled.

“But then I had to be taken away for training by my mentor, leaving behind everything I’d ever known. I figured it was all OK, and just a necessary sacrifice with regards to saving the world.” He looked around at the angry members.

“Get to the point,” Eugenia replied.

“My mentor would reward me heavily if I did things right, but if I got it wrong . . . I would be punished,” Winston replied. “Beatings, withholding food and sleep, poked with the poker from the fire. He was ruthless. I couldn’t tell anybody about what he was really like because everybody thought it was so cool that I was going to basically save the world. I didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth.” Winston sighed and put his head in his hands.

“Is there a message behind this?” Paul asked, his voice quieter than before.

“The point is I agree with you. Why do kids have to solve adult problems? Where are the actual adults? What do you do with the ones that turn evil? How do you rehabilitate former chosen ones after the giant battle of their lives? I had to give up schooling to be a chosen one, and as an adult, I have no qualifications for a normal job and can barely read. Also, who the hell looks at a baby and decides that this baby will end or save the world?” Winston’s face was red with the anger held in him for an entire childhood. “I can’t even go to a therapy session about it because I get told to leave.” Winston deflated. “Well, you got what you wanted. I’m gone. I won’t be back, I promise.” He got up to leave, and was all the way out the door when Rosa decided to say something.

“Winston, we are so sorry for having judged you,” Rosa replied. “We clearly need to modify the description of this support group. Let me just say that you are definitely welcome here.”

“Are there any more . . . former chosen ones?” Eugenia asked.

“Not as far as I know. It’s just me with a story like this,” Winston pointed out.

“There’s probably more; it’s just that they are too scared to say or they are dead,” another member said.

“Now, as the person organizing this support group, I want you to sit down immediately. You still haven’t met everybody yet,” Rosa jokingly ordered. Winston, sat down, and the meeting continued.

Thank you for reading this far. If you liked it, leave a note or some positive feedback or even write your own story with the same writing prompt! Again, thank you!

[themattress]

OUAT AND ME: IN WONDERLAND

Story - Because this spin-off series only lasted for one season's worth of 13 episodes, its story is simply the Wonderland Saga and nothing else beyond that, which is for the best given that the story reaches far too complete an ending for anything beyond it to make any sense. The story is about Alice and what transpired after she returned from her original journey through Wonderland as a little girl, leading up to her romance with a young genie named Cyrus as a teenager, their tragic separation, her commitment to a mental institution, and her return to Wonderland in order to reunite with her lost love alongside her friend the Knave of Hearts, all while facing threats from the Red Queen and Jafar who seek to use Cyrus’ genie powers to break the laws of magic in order to accomplish their own secret goals.

The Wonderland Saga is as tight as tight can be, with one chief setting (Wonderland), a relatively small cast of characters, and a 4-episode beginning, 4-episode middle, and 5-episode end. Of course, this wouldn't matter if it wasn't an engaging story with enjoyable characters, but thankfully it very much is. This series is the brainchild of not just Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis, but also of Jane Espenson and Zack Estrin, and because of this fact combined with its limited length, it actually surpasses the original Once Upon a Time when you stack the two completed shows up against each other. Sometimes, less is more.

As I said, the story is divided into a clear-cut beginning, middle, and end. The beginning focuses on the early part of Alice and the Knave's journey and establishing who they are and what their deal is, while Jafar and the Red Queen's goals and motivations are kept enigmatic and Cyrus is trapped in a cage for the whole duration of the time. The middle lets Cyrus escape, sheds light on Jafar and the Red Queen's goals and motivations, and explores the darker sides of Alice and the Knave as we see just how badly their past traumas have affected them. And the end is all about the alliance of Alice, Cyrus, the Knave and the Red Queen as they fight Jafar and his new ally the Jabberwocky to decide the fate of Wonderland. It's here that all lingering questions are answered and all character arcs are fully completed.

As far as stories go, this is top tier OUAT. I think I like the Dark Curse and Neverland Sagas slightly more, but the Wonderland Saga comes in at an incredibly close third place.

Characters - There are less of them than in the main show, so this will be easy.

* We start with Alice, played by Sophie Lowe as a teenager and by pre-Stranger Things Millie Bobby Brown as a child. She is a wonderfully multi-faceted heroine, capable of great love and great hate, great kindness and great cruelty, great ingenuity and great gullibility, and always treading the line between holding to hope and giving into despair. While her romance with Cyrus is the focal point of the story, I love that it's not the only important aspect to her character. We also delve into her fractured relationship with her father; her initially unsteady but eventually rock solid friendship with Will; her hate, fear and distrust of Anastasia up until she finally sees the girl behind the queenly mask and how very much alike they truly are; and even her internal mental and emotional conflicts with herself on various matters that sometimes go external due to how Wonderland works. And no offense to Emma Swan, who is great in her prime, but I feel like Alice is ultimately the stronger and more likable lead.

* Cyrus really impresses me, because being the romantic male object of the heroine's attention and a guy who spends the entire first third of the story stuck in a cage, he could have very easily been a boring character. But very quickly, he shows that good looks and magic powers aren't all there is to him - this guy is smart. His cleverness and ingenuity that allows him to affect the plot even when inside his cage is something to behold, and he only gets better once he's free from his prison and gets to play off other characters with more frequency. Add to this a backstory where we see he used to be a selfish con artist, and it being his love for Alice that changed the selfish part while repurposing the con artist part for the cause of good, and you have a character you can enjoy and a couple you can root for.

* The show's breakout character, for better or for worse (no, it's definitely for worse, as we'll see in the next post) is the Knave of Hearts / Will Scarlet. Played excellently by Michael Socha, Will was formerly one of Robin Hood's Merry Men but is now an outlaw all to himself in Wonderland. He's sardonic and quippy, selfish and yet reliable at the same time, eerily muted in his emotions due to having his heart removed from his chest and yet clearly possessing deep feelings within his soul that occasionally bubble to the surface. We watch him go from an untrustworthy, cowardly cad who refuses to accept responsibility for anything to a brave and loyal friend who will sacrifice his own well-being for those he cares about. And his love story with Anastasia honestly steals the show from Alice and Cyrus', as it's full of betrayal and heartbreak and fights and truces and reconciliations before its happy ending, and that honestly feels more human than Alice and Cyrus' entirely plot-based separation.

* Speaking of the Red Queen / Anastasia, she is the female villain with a redemption arc that Regina (and Zelena, to a lesser extent) wishes she was. When she first appears, the Red Queen seems to be a chillingly calm and poised sociopath without moral scruples, but she quickly starts displaying vulnerability, and kudos must be given to Emma Rigby for conveying this through her amazing performance. Her cool, haughty face is like a mask, with more and more cracks beginning to show until we see who she really is - Anastasia, a peasant girl who was misled into a life that was full of power and privilege but that was also lonely and way over her capability to endure in the long run, and who desperately wants to take it all back and return to who she used to be. Once she realizes that she won't be getting the magic shortcut she seeks and that in the process of seeking it she'd wrought even more damage to Wonderland, Anastasia fully commits herself to doing better by everyone that she'd hurt. Even horrific torture, temporary death and mind control doesn't stop her from aiding in the cause to save Wonderland! She's amazing and more than earns her happy ending with Will.

* I could gush about Jafar, the Big Bad of the story, all day long. Jafar has always been my favorite Disney Villain, but he's the villain of an animated musical comedy, so I guess I've always had the question in the back of my mind as to what he'd be like if applied to something with a more serious tone? Well, this version of the character, played to chilling perfection by Naveen Andrews, answers that question. Stripped of most of his caricatured and humorous elements, Jafar is a psychotic, power-hungry madman who will stop at nothing to get what he desires. There is no-one he won't manipulate or torture or murder in his quest to become all-powerful. And the show also gives him a feasible, compelling and incredibly dark backstory (he's the bastard child of an Agrabahn sultan who rejected him to the point of trying to murder him) that explains why he is the way he is but is never used to excuse him or entertain the slightest notion that he might be redeemable.  This version of Jafar perfectly embodies what Roy Disney and Jeffrey Katzenberg said about the original: “Jafar is just pure evil. He wants to take over the kingdom and kill everybody in sight or enslave them, or whatever suits his fancy." "This is the guy that wants it all. You know right from the start that he is a desperate character, capable of doing anything and everything to get what he wants".

* The White Rabbit / Percy is a purely CGI character, and you'd fear that this wouldn't work, but the show embraces how cartoony he is and so it actually works perfectly. He's a very appealing character as well: very neurotic and cowardly, but also a family man whose heart is in the right place and who can be very brave when push comes to shove. A lot of his likability also comes from the fact that John Lithgow (yes, I'm surprised they were able to get him too!) does his voice, and I can't think of anyone else who could voice such a character better.

* In terms of side characters, we have many Wonderland staples reimagined for this show, such as the Cheshire Cat who is now a feral beast voiced by Keith David, the Caterpillar who is now a Jabba the Hutt-esque crime boss voiced by Iggy Pop (who sounds nothing like the voice from the main show, but I digress), Tweedledee and Tweedledum who are the Red Queen's manservants (one being undyingly loyal while the other is a spy for Jafar), the sleazy Red King who tempts Anastasia into becoming his bride, the Carpenter who is trapped in a drug-like haze in the Boro Grove, the White Knight who stands guard over an important pair of doorways, and the Jabberwocky, a monster in the form of a humanoid woman whose power is being able to see a person's greatest fear and use it to psychologically torture them.

There is also mention of Alice having met Jefferson the Mad Hatter when she was a child, and Cora the Queen of Hearts herself appears in the flashback that shows how she manipulated events so that Will became the Knave of Hearts and ensure that Anastasia remained the Red Queen, whom she taught magic and villainy to and treated like a daughter. Regina, Zelena, Anastasia...is there no young woman that Cora won’t attempt to ruin?

Other side characters from other realms include Alice's highly flawed yet ultimately repentant father Edwin, his bitch of a new wife Sarah and her precocious young daughter Millie, and the cold-hearted Dr. Lydgate all from Alice's Victorian world; Robin Hood, Maleficent (voice-over only) and Anastasia's mother Lady Tremaine all from the Enchanted Forest; Nyx the guardian of a sacred well, Cyrus' mother and Jafar's teacher Amara, Cyrus' brothers Taj and Rafi, and Jafar's father the Sultan and half-brother Mirza all from Agrabah. The Sultan, by the way, is a particularly interesting character, as he's introduced as Cyrus' kindly old cellmate and you really get to thinking of him as a good guy, only to then learn who he really is and just what an utterly horrible person he was in the past. His tale is a tragic one, as while he sincerely commits to repenting, it’s not good enough and thus he cannot escape fatal poetic justice.

And then there's one side character that just really gets my goat: Elizabeth aka the Lizard, a cute young thief who has a crush on Will. She appears in the 4th episode and doesn't really do much of anything, then disappears for a while. I thought maybe she was going to end up paired with that "Mr. Darcy" suitor of Alice's from her world and it was going to be a big Pride and Prejudice reference...but instead, she reappears in the 9th episode, becomes the now genified Will's master, and makes a wish that accidentally kills her in order to give Will man-pain. And then she isn't really spoken of again afterward. What was even the point of her!? You could cut all of her scenes and actions from this story and miss absolutely nothing!

Atmosphere - I would describe this show's atmosphere as light and dark, back to back. When it's light, it is much lighter than Once Upon a Time, being very whimsical and romantic and fluffy and hopeful to an even higher degree than its parent show at its best. However, this kind of lightness helps to make the dark elements come off as that much darker as a result. And while there's certainly some dark stuff where Alice in concerned, from an intended lobotomy in the premiere episode to the intense clashing she has with her father, and in the troubled pasts of Will and Anastasia, nothing comes close to the darkness of everything Jafar-related. It's a guarantee that he will do something horrible to someone at least once per episode, although it's usually more than once. The nature of his backstory as a bastard child whose father attempts to drown him plus the intensity of his depraved power-lust also make him a particularly dark character, as is his eventual partner, the terrifying Jabberwocky. Personally, I have always appreciated stories that can balance light and dark in this way and am able to handle both of them, so this show's atmosphere is very appealing to me.

Episode Quality - All I can say here is that there is only one dud in this series, and it's not hard to spot which episode it is. Like I said, while the beginning and middle portions of the show are 4 episodes each, the end is 5 episodes...and the first of those 5, "Nothing to Fear", is incredibly awkward and poorly executed. On top of being where the aforementioned death of the Lizard occurs, the plotline with Alice, Cyrus and Anastasia is also botched. Alice clinginess to Cyrus out of worry that he might become separated from her again and she wants to savor the time she has with him now doesn't really work in the context of needing to find where the freshly genified Will went ASAP, and it makes Alice look bad - Will went through "Bloody Hell" to help her reunite with Cyrus, and now that she's been reunited with him at the direct expense of Will, she doesn't give a fuck? She feels no urgent desire to pay her friend back and be as dedicated to helping him as he was to helping her? Also, the way she verbalizes her issues sounds too ripped off of Emma Swan from the similarly clumsy episode "The New Neverland", and what works for Emma doesn't really work for Alice.

Alice's distrust of Anastasia and dislike of working with her is also badly written, in literally every other episode the tense dynamic between these two has been handled with more care and nuance, but here Alice just comes off as a bratty child. Again, Will is missing and you need to find him quickly, so being able to put aside your differences with Anastasia maturely would go a long way in helping make that happen, Alice! Also, there's a sequence with angry peasants tying Anastasia, Alice and Cyrus to stakes to be eaten by nocturnal wolf-like creatures, and it's so thoroughly mishandled to the point of coming across as comical (Anastasia really can't fight back or escape her binding despite the skills we've seen her have before? Cyrus really thought an eloquent speech was going to instantly convince the peasants to do what he wants of them? The peasants act like they're righteous people who are getting justice against their oppressor and yet then tie two completely innocent people up for daring to go against the grain on the matter? And oh my God, those wolves look awful!)

The only good parts of the episode are the very last scene between Alice, Cyrus, Anastasia and (finally!) Will, plus all of the scenes with Jafar which lead up to the Jabberwocky's debut. Otherwise, this was a transitional episode that needed a lot of fine-tuning from its makers.

Overall - Once Upon a Time in Wonderland is now on Disney+, so if you have that streaming service and haven't watched it, please do so. It's a very well-made limited series that features a great story and great characters played by great actors, and is a definite part of OUAT in its prime. And again, when both completed shows are compared, this one wins hands-down.

[zetalial]

FMA fanfiction recs!

Hey, so in my recent fma survey, I asked people for FMA fanfiction! And they delivered, yay! Thank you. I decided to make them into a nice list for all to see.

You’re very sweet, Anon but I’m afraid it’s already too late. This ended up quite, quite long. And I’m amazed at how long some of these stories are - if you’re looking for stuff to read, hopefully this list will occupy you for a while, (especially if you check some of the author’s other works). 

Most of these I have not read, but hey, they were recced so they’ve got to be good, right? Range of ships and stories from both canons. I’ve included the ships but haven’t included ratings so be warned that some of these may be explicit. (The author will probably indicate it themselves though.)

Full list under cut!

-Fullmetal’s Company by Roseveare | 18434 words | Gen, takes place pre-series. | Ed should have never flashed the silver pocketwatch in a warzone.

-A Wicked Game by Tierfal | 59921 words | RoyEd, Modern!AU |  Roy has lucked into the all-expenses-paid vacation of his dreams – all he has to do is convince a bunch of happy couples that he's head-over-heels in love with Ed Elric. What could possibly go wrong?

-Be light from now on by Merel | 2363 words | GreedLing, Modern!AU |  “Let’s go inside, sweetheart.” Cat café

-Number 28 by Sevlow | 63347 words | Gen, Parental RoyEd, divergence |  As of today, Edward Elric had been missing for four months, two weeks, and five days. Warnings for angst, some gore, and Chimera!Ed.

-In the Gaslight by UnorthodoxCreativity |13542 words | RoyEd |  Ed hates military parties. This is no surprise. But when a certain bastard of a colonel takes it into his head to make Ed's night a happier one, well. Ed's not complaining.

-Through the Gate by PreelikesWriting | 3 part series totalling  252736 words | Harry Potter crossover with BH Ed Pre-promised day covering books 5-7 of the HP books. Last part is still incomplete. |  Edward is transported to the Wizarding world and must fight his way back home.

-Playing God by the Flamel Cult | 44445 words | Harry Potter crossover  |  I thought the dull aching was something other than my demise. As it turned out, I was sorely mistaken. Perhaps I should listen to Alphonse more; maybe then there wouldn't be another bloody tragedy that would, inevitably, end it all. For good.

-snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus | 134066 words | Harry Potter crossover, incomplete post-Promised day | Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”

-Harry Potter and the Eastern Sage by LiteratureWork | 141609 words | Harry Potter Crossover Brotherhood incomplete |  Nicholas Flamel was famous for creating the philosopher's stone, but like Lockhart's smile it was all a lie. Flamel stole a part of the stone and it took Edward 642 years to get it back along with the souls inside of it, one which was his brother. But after traveling to Hogwarts to retrieve it, Dumbledore has other plans for the ancient hero.

-Reversed by Autzulfrost | 162206 words | Harry Potter crossover post 03 anime |  At the end of the first anime, Ed is sent back to London. But he's a kid again and through a twist of fate gets involved with the wizarding world. Will the alchemist help save wizarding Britain? Will he find a way to return to his home and true family?

-Stray Hayate by Famousfault | 3436 words| Harry Potter crossover |  Hayate had no idea how he had ended up there, but he had no other choice but to accept the situation. Harry at the other hand is not quite as satisfied with it.

-Demon Alchemist by Metisket | Series, 88462 words | Brotherhood divergence covers whole series | Al died in the transmutation. In which Ed becomes Central's local vigilante, thereby becoming Maes's problem. Roy finds something poetic in this.

-No Crueler Punishment by Gomboc123 | 2504 words | Post-promised day humour |  Instead of taking away Roy's vision, Truth decides to take something much more precious from Roy, and defaces him in the worst way possible.

-The Bond we Share by DiaHonkers | 23750 words | What if Brotherhood where Ed and Al share a body incomplete |  The Fullmetal Alchemist was a weird person. He joined the military at only 12 years old. But the weirder thing about him was that he changed personalities in the blink of an eye. One moment he could be screaming his head off at you and the other he would be profusely apologizing. He would constantly talk to himself, and his commanding officer didn't bat an eye. But what they didn't know that it wasn't just one person. It was two.

-Another Journey by Isil'zha BLZ | 254486 words | Whole series rewrite. |  The Elric brothers embark on another journey, but this time it's different than the ones they've been through before. A reimagining of the FMA story that combines elements from both anime to create what is (hopefully) the best of both worlds.

-A boy named Ed by BelloftheSea | 302732 words | Post-canon but Ed is young again without memories of his old life. Incomplete |  Ed knew he was different. It wasn't just that he was smarter than the other kids or even that he had automail. No, it had more to do with the way people would occasionally look at him, like they were expecting somebody else. It was the way his mechanic cried the day she met him. It was the way his dad would sometimes slip – and call him Fullmetal.

-Nothing Gold by Rydia Highwind | 23230 words | EdLing Post-canon, AU ending |  Ling has gained immortality. Ed has not.

-Unto the Shores of Acheron by LAXgirl | 99904 words | Gen, post 03 AU |  Everyone thought Edward was dead. But when someone tries to resurrect him, no one's prepared to deal with the soulless look alike that's created instead, or its hurt and anger when his original half unexpectedly returns from the other side of the Gate.

-Nequitia Est Manus by Azei | 103304 words | Divergence story incomplete | Madame Christmas meets a blonde brat with a fondness for drinking all her whiskey and giving her more headaches than Roy ever did. AU in which Ed fakes his death at the end of episode 26 and uses it as a means to stop Father's plans from the sidelines.

-Beast of a Burden by Shoulderpads | 66416 words | Diverges Pre-canon, BH incomplete |  Alternate universe where Ed and Al don't get the chance to try and bring their mom back before they're taken to the labs as subjects for chimera experimentation.

-The Colours of the World by MaiKusakabe | 114228 words | Harry Potter crossover Post Promised day, incomplete |  When Roy Mustang went to retrieve his eyesight from Truth, he wasn’t expecting to end up doing a job in exchange. It couldn’t even be an easy job, of course, because Edward’s assessment of Truth was a pretty accurate one.

-Confirmation Bias by Cryogenia | 3327 words | RoyEd vague timeline. | (No summary) 

-Phylactery by Shade40 | 250666 words | Post-Promised day AU, incomplete |  Six years after the Promised Day, Selim is Homunculus and child. As he studies alchemy, Selim realizes it is possible to resurrect his family. The Homunculi deserve the same second chance that he was given, but while they struggle to embrace their newfound humanity, an unknown player comes with a deal that divides them. Post-FMAB with bits from 2003 series.

-Inhuman Beings by wllw | 3173 words | Mid BH, Pride + Kimblee centric |  At the edges of his vision, the shadows followed him.

-The Twelve Days of Disaster by  MEOW-I'm-A-Dog | 47932 words |  A series of oneshots about Christmas that go from crack to full cocaine. Written on a whim, not to be taken seriously unless you want to. Characters: Breda, Ed, Al, Havoc, Fuery, Hawkeye, Falman, Mustang, Hughes and the occasional Armstrong

-At Gate’s Edge by Winds of Water | 455478 words | RoyEd 03 AU where human transmutation went awry and Ed is a ghost. Incomplete |  Love's never easy as it is, but it's twice as hard when you're separated by life and death.

-Grand Arcanum by The-Immortal-Moon | 343781 words | Series AU and roleswap blending 03 and BH. Incomplete |  Brothers Edward and Alphonse tragically lose their bodies in a failed attempt at human transmutation. Now, they partner with their childhood friend, Winry, and scour Amestris in search of the Philosopher’s Stone.

-Abandon All Hope, Ye who enter here by Anonymous | 17171 words | Dark! Au from end of 03. Ed being held by Dante. NonCon. |  Everything went wrong. Al is gone, Dante has the Stone, and Ed is a prisoner to the fanciful whims of his new captor.

-Love Can Melt the Ice by Winryofresembool | 63640 words | EdWin Modern!Au |  Edward Elric, a hockey player from Amestris, participates in his first ever Olympics. The only thing he's planning to get from there is a gold medal. However, when he accidentally bumps into a childhood friend, a talented figure skater Winry Rockbell, he learns there are things bigger than hockey.

-Our Embalmed hearts, our desolate kingdoms by spooky_bee | 155853 words | Neon Genesis Evangelion fusion with FMAB RoyAi | "He leans back, palms connecting with the concrete, and looks up over their city, their desolate kingdom. In the rain, Central City might as well be the ruins of Xerxes, empty and grey, and he and she may as well be the last two people on earth."Or, Love in the Time of Giant Robots

-Talking With Ghosts by em-witchwood | 2801 words | EdRiza, Post FMA 03 |  Out of all of them, she was probably the only one that didn’t regret all the things she had never said to him, because she’d said all that she wanted.

-We That Are Young by Stoplight Delight | 277131 words | Pre-canon |  It's a well-known fact that innocents make poor soldiers. Fortunately, Riza Hawkeye's childhood was not entirely innocent. She had to grow up fast... though she wasn't the only one. The early years of the Colonel and his First Lieutenant.

-Tempest by Bookwrm389 | 16810 words | Gen, vaguely mid-series Parental RoyEd |  Ed is adamant that he doesn't need a father. And it's only when he's about to lose the closest thing he has to one that he understands how very wrong he is.

-Flames of Consequence by EnviousMonster | 67018 words | Gen, Envy lives AU post BH. Incomplete |  Where Envy survives and is given a second chance to become something more than they were made to be. Will contain depictions of violence, emotional and mental duress, etc.

-Stock Market Crash by VIKAN | 29301 words | Gen, vaguely canon timeline |  Stranded in the middle of the Eastern Desert, Roy Mustang must try to get himself and a concussed Edward across it safely before he completely loses his mind.

-Mendacium by ChaoticClueless | 15558 words | My Hero Academia crossover with BH Ed. Incomplete | Edward didn't want to help Truth. He didn't want to go to a different world to defeat yet another Father. He didn't want to become a vigilante there.He also wanted his brother back. The choice was obvious, even if Truth is a massive asshole.

-Reverti Ad Praeteritum by Batsutousai | 288908 words | EdRoy Timetravel story, BH |  Unwillingly forced to serve as a human trial for a crazy alchemist experimenting with time travel, Edward Elric finds himself standing across from Truth in the moment it takes his leg from him. Armed with the knowledge of what's to come and burdened with guilt for the choices he'd made as an adult, Ed sets out to fix every mistake he ever made and save every life they ever lost, no matter what it takes.

-Best Kept Secret by MoonStarDutchess | 523815 words | RoyAi BH canon-compliant incomplete |  What if Roy and Riza were secretly married through the entire series? This story tells you that.

-Ash Like Snow by Laora | 6723 words | Harry Potter Crossover |  His sanity is crumbling away, but then, so is the entire wizarding world.

-Penance by Laora | 125965 words | Harry Potter Crossover around Promised Day |  The Gate was opening; the black arms stretched toward him and Pride. Ed knew he had no say in the matter. He would be pulled to this parallel dimension, alternate universe—whatever it was—and Amestris would be left to die. Truth merely grinned.

-Jiǔ by agentcalliope | 3131 words | Roy-centric piece, RoyAi |  the nine steps Roy Mustang takes towards acceptance

-Homefront by hlwim | 50895 words | BH AU, some RoyAi |  Miss Riza's arrival in Resembool has the potential to ruin everything.

-Infernia by mitsys | 3899 words | Royai, Pacific Rim AU |  Some stories aren't told in headlines or newspapers, but in the touch of hands and minds. They linger together in the Drift, lines melting together into the seams, and they don't mourn the lost letters. They've been writing their story long enough to do it without words.

-Wooden by tobu_ishi | 1928 words | Gen, Post 03 anime, Ed in other world |  He never realized how useful automail could be until he was an entire world away from it, or what a pain simple daily tasks could become.

-Mirrorworld by Tramontana Keeper | 305134 words | EdHei, Pre-CoS AU |  Ed managed to prove that he was truly from a different world, and Alfons finds himself captive in Ed's dream of opening the Gate. 

-Fragile Worlds by The Prettiest Frog in the Pond | 5635 words | Gen, 03 anime AU |  He'd been stuck in this place for months now, but no matter what he says, nothing changes. He's Edward Elric. He's been Edward Elric all his life. So why won't they believe him?

-One Foot in by Firewind | 7008 words | Gen, 03 anime AU |  Envy shows Ed why it's unwise to break a deal with homunculi.

-The Circle by Elfpen | 3007 words | Gen, promised day |  Edward Elric teaches alchemy at Central University. A particularly horrible student leads them down a path of dark discussion, which somehow, leads Edward back full circle.

-Ignis Fatuus by Mikkeneko | 5787 words | Gen. |  Edward attempts to break apart a chimera made from an animal and a child.

-Abstention by Asidian | 11117 words | Vague timeline |  An assignment to snow country under Colonel Mustang is bad enough for the damper it puts on the Elrics' search for the Stone, but downed supply lines lead to cut rations, and Ed discovers that he can't take the deprivation as well as he'd like to pretend.

-Never break the chain by haganenobeato | 4199 words | RoyAi BH, vague timeline | The nights were not kind to Riza Hawkeye. Sleep felt elusive following the failed operative to capture a homunculus after Gluttony swallowed the Colonel whole with Edward alongside him. Before she could gather her bearings and make sense of what was happening, Mustang’s men were transferred at different cardinal points in Amestris with herself at the center as Bradley’s assistant.As for him… he had been changed.

-Men and Angels by Laora | 56333 words | Timetravel AU |  Trisha can't understand; she's terrified, but she has to stay calm. Her boys are gone, replaced by her sons from the future...and something, she knows, is terribly wrong.

-The Really Ridiculously Good Looking Summer Festival by VerboseWordsmith | 45594 words | Modern!Band!AU RoyEd |  Quasi-indie newcomers, Fullmetal Alchemist, just hit number one with their second single on the Amestris Hot 100 Rock chart and they've been added to the lineup of this summer's Transmuted Tour.

-To Love is to Sacrifice by Konfessor2U | 6372 words | Edvy, BH |  Edward is held captive as a human sacrifice and Envy is set to watch over him.

-Not in His Job Description by alightintheshadows | 1331 words | Gen, BH Post-promised day, Parental Roy |  General Mustang receives visitor much too early on a Sunday morning, but he doesn't mind in the slightest.

-Aftermath by Asidian | 32148 words | Elricest, vaguely post-series |  Not even a year after Al receives his new body, Ed requests a mission that will take him far from his brother's side. When things go terribly wrong, they must pick up the pieces together.

-Ignis Aurum Probat by writing_addict | 34827 words | How to train your dragon AU, FMAB, incomplete | Edward Elric is born early into the dead of winter, on an island twelve days North of Hopeless and a few degrees south of Freezing-To-Death. He comes into the world sickly and small--and endlessly defiant, burning with the kind of rage that can shake the foundations of the universe. The gods themselves hear that scream, that roar of fury and thunder promising to remake the world as they know it, and wonder. Fifteen years later, Ed brings down the Night Fury that's been plaguing his people for generations, stands over it with the perfect opportunity to make the kill...and spares it.

-Satellite by SpicyReyes | 103170 words | EdRoy, Timetravel, BH incomplete |  A rogue alchemist, desperate to restore the alchemy of the famous Fullmetal Alchemist, pushes Truth into playing a new game - one that has Edward Elric waking up on the floor of his house where a transmuted abomination should have been, just in time to save his younger self and brother. He might have a chance to do everything again, now, though...He would never hold anything but bitterness for the title of 'dad,' but maybe an older brother could make things better.

-With Eyes Anew by Rider_of_Spades | 500 words | LustScar FMA 03 | "She’s not your second chance– she’s your first." On the implications of being in love with a Homunculus.

-Son of the Desert by ShanaStoryteller | 10445 words | Ishvalan!Ed AU, BH EdRoy | Every time Edward sees the circle on the back Mustang's hand, he wants to scream, wants to reach across the desk and shake him, wants to wrap his hands around the older man's throat and ask if it was worth it, if this desk and his rank is worth the screaming, crying, writhing, burning bodies of his people-

-Tears and Rain by BeautifulFiction_FMA | 196772 words | RoyEd FMA 03 vague timeline |  When Ed stops an assassination attempt on Roy's life, he foils one of the opening moves in a massive military intrigue. Can he and Roy stay one step ahead of those who want them dead, or will they both lose the fight to survive?

-The Lost Language of Swans by Mirabella | 2258 words | Elricest, Wingfic Post-series |  They smuggled Al out of Central and back to Rizembul, where they rented a small house with room for Ed's books and Al's wings.

-For the night has been unkind by CoolJellyBean25 | 159980 words | RoyEd PostBH AU, Incomplete |  Even with the straitjacket off, Ed never feels like it's really gone.

-conflicted by the very air i breathe by writing_addict | 149707 words | some RoyAi, BH AU, incomplete |  Edward Elric vanishes after what was supposed to be an ordinary mission. A year later, Roy Mustang gets a call that changes everything.

-World without Roy by Manalfedz | 41482 words | Gen, BH AU, incomplete |  Wherein...Roy tries not to freak out in an alternate world where everything has gone horribly wrong.

-A sudden alchemy by LadyMerlin | 5388 words | RoyEd Modern!Au |  The one in which Roy is a Knight in Shining Armour

-A Pyramid Scheme by PhantomRose96 | 1662 words | Gen, immediately Post!BH | “Why didn’t you run?”   “Sorry?”  “Why didn’t you run away, Fullmetal?”

-From Ashes by JordannaMorgan | 22864 words | Gen, canon-compliant set right after the human transmutation attempt. |  Edward and Alphonse had a long journey to make before they ever left home.

-Babylon by BeautifulFiction_FMA | 261096 words | RoyEd, post FMA 03 AU |  Two years after retrieving his brother's body from the Gate of Truth Edward Elric is still paying the price. Will his debt ever be repaid, or will it finally cost him everything?

-Havoc’s Foolproof Plan by 1stTimeCaller | 9187 words | vague timeline, some RoyAi shiptease. |  Havoc's love life is constantly interrupted by his womanizing boss. So he decides to try it on with the one woman who is immune to Mustang's charm.

-The Ordeal of Being Known by budgeWrites | 20254 words | FMA 03 AU LustScar Lust and Scar both live, Incomplete |  On conquering demons, remembering how to live, and coming home.

-Focus by Sevlow | 37665 words | Gen, vague timeline |  Mustang, Edward, and all the other Alchemists of fair Amestris are starting to lose their grip on their own minds and bodies. The Amestrian military is in chaos as dozens of its higher-ranking officers start losing their minds to an unknown sickness.