#and then as i recall it doesn't really matter and it still sorta just Takes us whenever it feels like it

[warlordfelwinter]

"i didn't get to play your past like a vr game like fiver did but"

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) Andrew and plausible deniability, OR: mfer doesn't wanna be held accountable for his actions

This has been churning in my head for a while (I am mentally ill 🥴), but a large part of the driving force behind Andy and his actions is his aversion to blame. He sorta shares this w/Ashley (she's got quite a few rants abt how things aren't her fault), but I believe Andrew takes it just a step further.

I've seen many say this before, but from the start of the game, you'll notice that even beyond normal moral quandaries, Andrew's first objection to any horrific action Ashley proposes is usually a variance of "what if we get caught?". He objects not bc her ideas are ethically repugnant, but bc they could be found out as having done them, and he knows rationally that others know they're bad. This goes as far back as childhood with the Nina incident. He fears punishment and the threat of prison more than he apparently worries about what his crimes might mean for him as a person or what they might mean for the people that might be affected by them (save him and Ashley). This doesn't mean he doesn't feel guilt or have nightmares abt them, but they're not his first priority. Trouble's a pain to deal with, and the dude's low-energy.

In fact, most of his guilt seems largely self-centered. Like, no exaggeration: if it isn't about either him or Ashley (which is, in a way, lowkey also about him), then he couldn't really care less. Do you recall him ever expressing worry or remorse on Nina's behalf? Mourning her? We think Ashley's the one w/empathy issues, but Andrew's in the same boat imo. Self-preservation and self-interest is all that's keeping him seemingly amiable enough for polite society, bc for the most part, he really couldn't be bothered.

In his dreams, the victims of their murders are just bodies: interchangeable, holding no more meaning beyond the fact that they're dead. Any corpse's limb will do to replace the one Ashley cooked—never mind that they may be from different people—bc they're all the same to him. Even Julia, sitting in her dorm room surrounded by evidence of Ashley's harassment, gets no sympathy from Andrew. For the most part, he elects to ignore it all, and regards Julia herself with a detached sorta nostalgia tinged in no small part with apathy.

img txt: You'll never see her again. And the fact that it doesn't really bother you, bothers you.

(The only things of notable worth from her were the colored pencils on her desk, which he promptly takes from her to give to Leyley instead, and isn't that just some crazy symbolism right there?)

His fear of punishment goes hand-in-hand with his desperate pursuit of plausible deniability. Everything he does, he does under certain self-imposed conditions. If it's Ashley's idea and he argues back, it doesn't matter in the end if he goes along with it, bc it was Ashley's idea in the first place. He's just there to make sure she doesn't get them in trouble, bc she needs him, bc he's gotta take care of her. Even if it's not her idea at all (e.g., killing the closet warden, killing the lady in room 302), it's still her fault, bc he did it for her, bc everything he does, he does for her.

Ashley's a manipulative, evil lil possessive gremlin w/a soul as black as tar, and Andy's a doormat, but don't think for a second that part of him doesn't use that dynamic a little to keep from reflecting on what he is. He suffocates under it, but he also relies on it. If there's any sort of plausible deniability available, he'll take it and run with it.

The truth of the matter is that they're both deeply toxic, warped individuals. The difference is that Ashley's owned up to it and quite frankly doesn't care. Andrew hasn't. He's the "normal" one.

Now, for the funky incest part (what we're all here for babyyyyy)—

We've all seen the flavor text abt the bed-sharing by now, right?

img txt: Oh yeah, you tooootally have nightmares as often as you claim.

We know for a fact that aside from some light teasing, maybe, Ashley would have no problem whatsoever with sharing a bed w/Andrew. Heck, she'll coax him into bed (demo) or climb onto the couch with him (ep 2) w/o any prompting from him whatsoever, just bc she feels like it. Andrew, apparently, can't do the same. He doesn't allow himself this intimacy of his own choosing, so he has to lie and pretend to get it if he wants it. He's greedy for her, too, but he can't let himself show it.

If something is sufficiently too intimate in his eyes, beyond anything he can excuse away for some reason or another, then he'll stop himself from doing it. Just like how he wouldn't let himself succumb to the urge of pulling Ashley into his arms to make her smile, but is willing to give her a hug when she asks for it in front of their parents.

He insists on the extra expense of two beds, and then cites his nightmares and panic attacks as the driving force behind crawling into bed w/her, bc then it isn't really his fault now, is it? He tried to stay away, after all. He did! He just didn't have a choice!

Lol

Andrew can't admit to wanting this—buries those feelings and thoughts as deep as he can so they fester and bleed, the repressed idiot—so he gives Ashley all the power to decide how close they get. It's in Ashley's hands. He's free of that hassle.

Which is why the post-sex vision, and Ashley's reaction to it, is so dangerous. @csg-iii made a good point about it in my last post:

img txt: I think the biggest point about "11" is that Andrew asks/begs Ashley for reassurance that it will never happen ("never say never"). It's a subtle admission that if she really wants it to happen, he knows he won't be able to resist his own urges. His only ""hope"" of avoiding going there is if Ashley doesn't want it.

Andrew, in absolving himself of this choice and putting it in Ashley's hands, shoots himself in the foot, bc what if Ashley goes the whole mile? Then the only real thing keeping his desires unrealized was the fact that they had never been voiced as an option before.

He doesn't want to think of himself as someone who'd bone his own sister. Forget being a cannibal, demon summoner, or a murderer; those titles were foisted upon him. This is too close to something real that he carries inside him; this isn't anything Ashley's buried in him, but rather something of his own invention. Something he'll definitely have to take responsibility for.

[fullcfphobias-a]

💭 + Your friends!

"It's.. scary to thing how different things would be if I never met them– Vicky, Amira, and Brian I mean.."

He sighs, resting his chin in his hand.

"I mean– I couldn't talk to anyone! Before I met any of them, I was sorta just.. there. I went to school, yeah, but it really didn't matter if I was there or not. No one would've noticed if I'd just.. up and vanished one day."

A pause, before he clears his throat.

"But, of course, that changed! I was.. I think I was hiding in the bathroom to avoid some test I was freaking out about. I was sure I'd fail and then I'd have to drop out and change my name– high stakes back then, really."

He found himself almost laughing at the absurdity, knowing was still something he could see himself spiraling over today. Really, he hasn't changed all that much.

"I think I skipped all my classes prior, which kinda just stressed me out more because– well, I was in way too deep to leave! I had to commit.. I was already thinking about my new fugitive life when Vicky walked in. We talked through the stall for a little and she eventually convinced me to walk with her to class– it was also the day I learned that attendance apparently doesn't matter all that much?"

Snorting, he continued.

"Amira sure made a first impression, I remember getting smacked in the face with that ball like it was yesterday. I think I blacked out a little? Either way, when the world stopped spinning she was just kinda crouched over me, asking how many fingers she was holding up. We talked a little on the bench after, though I think I was still coming down from the shock because I don't remember a single thing we talked about."

"And Brian.. well he just picked the table I happened to be sitting at during lunch. It was pretty much empty and I hadn't really gotten on board with the whole food thing just yet.. he fell asleep and I took the opportunity to read one of my comics. I was in the middle of a chapter when he asked what issue I was reading– which kinda startled me at first, I thought he was just gonna sleep through the whole period, but we talked about it until the bell instead."

He found his expression had long since softened, each memory recalled sweetened by nostalgia and fondly regarded.

"I don't think I'd have met anyone I know now if they hadn't decided to let me take up their time.."

[aghadbeenhere]

Letting life go by.

AGHADBEENHERE'S UNNAMED BLOG: 7#

Sup, folks, AG here once again, I can't really tell how long it's been since my last post, as I said, time's kinda just become a blur for me and I've decided to accept that, the passage of time seemed daunting at first, knowing that i'd miss out on things that i could only live at this stage of life, experiences, people, all things that come and go with time, but the more i spent inside, the more i started giving less of a shit, and I think something that re-assures me of this is an experience I had with two other friends when we were gaming.

I really think I just feel kinda saddened about the situation, yet I feel happy for knowing that it's happening, and that things aren't forever stagnant in my life, and that I'm really learning to accept that shit happens, so I can finally do as I say and as I do, letting life fly by me.

Me and my friends were in a call, we were playing a game together and having fun n' all, but the thing is that they just kinda.. Clicked, you know? Like in a friends way, besties and all, joking around about things they both knew, having a laugh and saying the same jokes.

And I was (and still am) very proud to have introduced the two to eachother, I'm happy that they've become friends, but that also put a worrying thought in my mind.

"What if they replace me?" I was the bro, the homie, the one he clicked with, chatting, joking about the same things, and I think we've kinda grown apart in that sense, yes, we still talk, but not as often as before.

Yes, we play, but not as often as before.

And at first, I was horrified of drifting away from the best friend I had, the buddy whom I had been through thick and thin with.

We still have great conversations and i'm happy to be there to help.

But I feel like the friend I introduced them to can do all that, but even better.

But i'm starting to feel less sad about that reality, more-so accepting of it.

I haven't really always been the greatest friend, I've been quite a dick a lot of the time, and maybe this'd push me to truly become as Kind as I want to be, so it's not a fake persona, so it's actually just me.

And they go well together, maybe them being the buddy-buddy besties that I once was with him will be good for them.

Maybe I'll stay behind as the one that helped, just a stepping stone in their life.

This all may read very depressingly, but if that's how I'll be remembered, then I'll take it.

I want there to be some sorta sign of me, that I was there.

Even in the lives of other people, because that'd mean I had an impact big enough to just be a part of it, even if just a stepping stone.

I think a Legacy's a complex thought for me.

Everybody wants to be remembered, right? To be recalled by someone, to not experience the second death, as Banksy put it.

But I don't feel like I deserve a Legacy at times, to not be remembered but to be free.

But a Legacy isn't a burden, it's something that comes after the freedom, as how you'll be seen after the life you chose to live.

And I think that I don't want a giant legacy, for my name to be a whisper amongst a select few that knew who i was, and only saw me as a train stop in the middle of nowhere, that it was there, yet everything else around it is nowhere to be found.

I dunno, man.

I don't think anybody does.

But that doesn't really matter, I guess.

This was AG, as always.

Remember me, but not who I was.

With love, yours forever.

-aghadbeenhere, 2024

[pocket-prosecutor]

Another Wereshifter Miles AU Masterpost because I hate inconsistencies and I want them cleared up >:(

Old masterpost here

The original concept remains the same: Edgeworth shrinks when the sun goes down, which is a strict "rule". This also takes the changes in sunset/rise times over the course of the seasons into account.

He could also cheat his way out of it by spending the summer in Finland.

As an adult, Miles shrinks down to 20 cm/8 inch.

When and how and stuff:

So in the old masterpost I said the condition started because of a strong stress-response (think of it as a Flight-Response from all the trauma, anxiety, and panic attacks).

But having this condition be an inherent trait that started earlier at around, say, age 5 or 6, is equally if not more fun. I will (hopefully) make a post just for this but in short:

Somewhere around the age of 6, Miles's wereshifting condition manifests. One evening he feels...kind of bad? His entire body tenses and he gets dizzy. Gregory notices and asks if he's okay when suddenly he sees his son shrink in front of his eyes. Eventually Miles stops shrinking when he's around 12.5 cm/5 inch. Of course he grows back when the sun rises, but they both didn't know that the first night.

In the years that follow, Miles and his father figure out how to deal with this condition through trial and error.

Who knows?

I'm keeping what I initially said about this.

Franziska knows, she found out rather quick after Miles moved into the MvK household. Before Miles started his career as prosecutor, Franziska was a safe place for him to go to when shrinking got too overwhelming.

M. von Karma knows, but Miles doesn't know that. He could use it against Miles later, if ever necessary. Keeping up the pretense works out better for him and his over-planned scheme for case 1-4.

Additionally, Phoenix knows, but only kinda sorta? Gregory told him when he was still a child, on the day before the Christmas holidays (after talking it through with Miles). He simply wanted Miles to have a friend he can trust (and for sleepovers!). Phoenix is 9. Gregory is an adult. Obviously he's telling the truth.

Edit: this initially explained that Phoenix didn't see Miles shrink when they were kids but I retconned it lol. He got to visit Miles once before DL-6 happened. Miles however doesn't recall that day very well since he suppressed most of his childhood memories. Phoenix has to remind him of both the class trial and the day he hang out with Miles after he shrunk down.

Case 1-4:

Ahh, uh. So Miles can't actually murder anyone at night, nor could he have been on that boat. Working around this is manageable. Von Karma anticipates that Miles would respond to the letter anyway, he would just hide somewhere to check it out. Besides, getting a stand-in for Miles for getting a regular sized person on the photograph is not that hard probably? And surely he has a way of getting Miles's fingerprints on the gun.

Keeping his condition secret while behind bars is hard but he manages, as long as no one checks on his cell at night.

However, the trial lasts 3 days, and that 3rd day really matters... Going off-canon a bit and let's say the trial lasts just a bit too long? It is winter after all, the days are shorter. Surely Phoenix keeps an eye out for Miles? (i will probably/hopefully make a separate post for this)

Some other tidbits:

Miles buys a large dollhouse when he moves out of the MvK household

He doesn't always sleep in the dollhouse, only if he's sure the nights are long enough so that he won't grow back and damage said dollhouse.

He uses the dollhouse mainly for the accessories that come with it. Tiny chairs, cutlery, etc. And standing around these items makes him feel at ease now and then

Additionally, he gets custom-made "doll" clothes that fit his size (he had to measure himself using measuring tape when tiny, it was quite an ordeal)

In important spots of the house (kitchen counter, bed, couch) he has small ladders set up (he had to overcome his acrophobia for this). Miles (and Gregory back in the day) often refers to them as aids.

If he cannot make it home after work, he stays in his office where he has spare clothes (small and regular sized) and one of the dollhouse beds in his top drawer. He had his drawers adapted by someone so that he can open them easily without strain.

Miles hates almost all confrontation with his condition. Even after Phoenix gains his trust he has immense trouble even mentioning it. It's been nothing but a burden and embarrassment to him, especially after DL-6.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Damn, Kohga has clearly been fucked by A LOT of men (like damn, his ass doesn't even need prep) And Sooga is clearly possessive AS FUCK. Consider: Kohga tying down/ordering Sooga to sit still while Kohga jacks it/fingers himself, while telling Sooga FILTHY stories of his past dalliances until Sooga can't handle it anymore.

Ooooh this is a GOOD idea. Sooga maybe bottom, but he's a possessive bottom, and we STAN that energy. 

Kohga was horny as SHIT. Nothing new in that sentence, but what was different was the fact that it was caused by Sooga's possessiveness. It started off innocently enough; Kohga wanting to spank his big, juicy ass. Simple enough. Then he got into it. Hard, fierce spanking across his ass. And what caused it? That classic territorial nature of all blade masters. Kohga so much as MENTIONED bringing one in, and he just slapped his ass six ways from sunday. Hell, he needed to sit on a pillow for a few days after that. He even recalled how Sooga apologized for that, but Kohga would have none of it. Sooga was an ANIMAL. He just had to take the beast out of the cage.

"But how…."

He asked himself, rolling over to his stomach. He sent Sooga out on some scavenger hunt (he did this whenever he needed Sooga out of the base for a while), and was left to his own devices. He needed time to think about just how he was gonna get a rise out of Sooga. Poking the beast, so to speak. He couldn’t bring another guy in to watch, they'd start beating the shit out of each other (though them fighting was ALWAYS hot). Sooga wouldn’t even let them be near their DOOR when they did it. It was ridiculous. Other guy's Kohga fucked was not this complicated. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He nearly bolted out of bed, completely astounded by his own brilliance.

"Kohga! You're not only a hunk, you're a GENIUS!"

Kohga knew just what to do.

---------------------

"Master Kohga, I have returned."

Kohga nearly bounced in place upon hearing his voice. He was SO ready for his pretty boy to come home. He opened his door, nearly yanking Sooga inside his room, and pulling him into a hug. Sooga sputtered in surprise, before chuckling and returning the affection.

"I was not expecting such a warm welcome for my arrival."

"Well, shame on you! Been waiting for you to come back! You like that mushy couple bullshit, so you'll love this!"

He looked up at Sooga, who cocked his head to the side.

"I do. But you don't."

"One, shut up. Two, I love YOU. So! We're gonna do something...interesting."

He pulled up a chair for Sooga (aka the good chair he got from Kingy), while he sat on his bed. Sooga was clearly not understanding what was happening, but he was going along with it, especially given Kohga’s excitement. He had drinks, snacks (mainly slices of nut cake and fruit), and even candles. It was sweet, honestly. Kohga patted his hand, clearly excited.

"So, Traysi recommends this for couples who are VERY serious about each other."

"The woman who runs the rumor mill? Should we be following-"

Kohga flicked his mask, huffing.

"We do not disrespect Traysi here. And yes, we're doing this. So you're ready?"

"If you are, absolutely."

"Good, you're going to go first. Now, tell me about EVERYONE you've been with before."

Sooga seemed confused by this. But, it was not only a command from Kohga, but Kohga actually and honestly trying to bond with him. Who could say no to that? Sooga thought about it for a moment.

"Let's see...when I was five, I married my neighbor's daughter. We had a mud cake and everything."

He chuckled. It wasn’t at all a serious answer, but it was just. So odd, recalling his past relationships, especially since they seemed so redundant now. He rubbed his chin a bit.

"Then there was Nabooru. I dated her when I was about fourteen. Lovely girl."

Kohga cocked his head to the side.

"You ACTUALLY dated girls?"

"In my teen years. When I was seventeen we broke up, started to date a stable boy. Shad. He was...a bit of a bookworm. I really liked him."

"What happened to you guys?"

Sooga hesitated, opening his mouth then closing it again.

"Father didn't....what I mean to say is...uhm, If I may skip, Master Kohga."

Oof, rough territory. Kohga waved his hand, letting him know to press on. Sooga shook the thought out of his head, happy to no longer be thinking about it.

"Then there were the occasional hookups. Nothing serious, a few men to share a bed with for the night. Chudly, Benja, and Vilia. Then it was you."

Kohga blinked. Wow. Could buy a piece of bread with that body count.

"That's...it? Only FIVE people? And one was a WOMAN? That’s ALL the people you’ve been with?!”

“Yes. Though, I wouldn’t fully include the first one, in all honesty.”

Sooga rubbed the back of his neck shyly, clearly a bit embarrassed from how little that seemed to be. Kohga just couldn’t fathom that. Five people, in his entire life. Sooga was a young stud, he could get plenty of his ass, just on his walk home. Kohga couldn’t fathom that. Sooga seemed to shrink a bit under his clearly bewildered look.

“Is that...too few?”

Kohga realized he was making Sooga feel self conscious. He was aiming for jealousy, not this. He raised his hands up a bit, shaking his head.

“No! No, any number is fine, even none. I’m just saying, I expected a LOT more. I mean, LOOK at you!”

Sooga chuckled, blushing like crazy underneath his mask like the cute guy he was. 

“Well, thank you, Master Kohga. But no, I have not been with anyone else. Just those, and I haven’t missed one. You know, I can actually see the merit in this piece of advice. It feels good, getting that off my chest. Is it your turn?”

Kohga almost wanted to cuddle his big, dumb face. Thankfully, he was too horny to bail on his plans. Kohga nodded.

“It is, actually. BUT. I have one order to give you, got it?”

“I...suppose.”

“You have to stay put in that chair. No matter what. Understand?”

Sooga looked confused, but he nodded.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand. But, an order is an order. I will stay seated.”

“Good. Good.”

Kohga grabbed his box of fun stuff, placing it right next to him, then laid on his back. He hoisted one leg over the other, arms behind his head.

“Okay, get comfy. Now, the first guy I dated was when I was...seventeen or so? I wanted to date earlier, but dad said to wait. Anyway, he was a merchant that’d come by every once and while. He was SUPER cute, and honestly? Not too bad of a kisser. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only guy he was seeing, but...well, I couldn’t complain, he was super cute. Nice hair. Always dated guys with nice hair.”

Kohga remembered those early years. Back when he didn’t know shit. Back when kissing was new and exciting to him. Sooga looked confused.

“I thought you said no one but you and your father saw your face.”

“Oh no, I NEVER took this off. A wise man caught nude will cover his face, not his privates.”

That made Sooga chuckle.

“A rather clever, yet lewd saying. Please, do continue.”

“Gladly.”

Kohga twiddled with his fingers as he recalled. Is he supposed to go in order? Or just whatever crossed his mind? He thought about it, before he thought about it.

“Oooh, then there was another one of my boyfriends. He was going through like, this weird hair phase? His hair was red, he had it up, and he was just. Big. Big, buff, and honestly he was just. Stupid. Let me tell you, I could grab onto his arm, and he could lift me up with absolutely no issues. We didn’t last long though, he thought he was hot shit. He GENUINELY said ‘babe, you’re pretty, but I’m prettier’. Can you imagine that? Ugh. Dude fucked good though, he REALLY did. He’d get all hot and sweaty after his work outs, and then. Well, dude fucked good. Real good.”

Kohga stripped himself free of his pants, and held his finger up when Sooga clearly wanted to ask questions. He stripped himself free, before getting comfy again, just stroking at his thighs.

“I remember once, when he got back from his trip across seas, he ended up fucking me right in the bar. We got just, so drunk, and he couldn’t keep himself off of me. He railed me in front of all his men, the barkeep, and pretty much who seemed to be paying attention. I was a young thing back then, a thick dick was all it took. I remember, I tried to give him his beer after he came in me, and I just, dumped it all over his chest by accident. He was a good sport about it, all I had to do was clean him up. Only, I didn’t have a rag, so...I had to improvise. Licked that dude like a lollipop.”

Sooga not so gracefully, grabbed a bottle of his favorite oil, and used it to rub along his thighs, just for a bit of a show, before sticking two fingers into his ass. Been a while since he touched himself like this, much less in front of someone else, and it felt GOOD, watching his greedy eyes upon him.

“It wasn’t a long relationship, but it was a fun one. Let's see, who else was there...ooh, there was that one guy. Dad HATED him, and I think there was a huge appeal in that. He was in charge of fixing trains and stuff. Big, muscle guy. Cute scar, tattoos, big hands. He wasn’t as rebellious as the other guy. We lasted a bit longer, but not by much. Super sweet. I remember he'd pick me out of nowhere, just because he could. That dude was the sorta romance then in your pants dance type. But he was KINKY. Dude really liked holding me down and giving it to me. I remember, we got REAL rough with it one time, he tied my hands up, tied me up in his workshop, and just railed my ass. Swore we almost got caught by a client once!"

Kohga laughed, really digging and stretching his ass.

"He taught me how to do this. Taught me how to get my nice, oily fingers inside of me. Taught me how to get nice and ready for the cocks he knew I wanted. In a way...he was my first.”

He snuck a glance at Sooga’s eyes, and he saw it. The little sparkles of jealousy. He knew he wasn’t his first, but knowing the details really got under his skin. Kohga introduced three fingers now, really arching his back as he felt himself be a little bit stretched. Sooga wasn’t goosey loosey down there, but he could take three fingers, knuckle deep, before he felt that familiar longing inside of him.

“Then...Then there was this other guy. Up until I started the clan, he was my partner in crime. Long hair, always kept in a ponytail. Nice, strong hands, and his eyes were something else. They were so...intense. Should’ve seen me the first time I caught those eyes, I was on him like a stack of bananas. He was the more...aloof than most of the guys I dated. He’d pop in and out, constantly looking for ways to get stronger. Never really got that guy. We would just..somehow end up in bed together. Sometimes it would be in a bed over some stable, sometimes it’d be some random, abandoned spot in the mountains. Either way, he’d fuck me, and be gone by morning. Hell, I don’t even think I caught his name. I just remembered we REALLY, REALLY liked each other.”

Kohga had to admit, recalling all of his past lovers was very, very fun. Recalling how many big, strong men wanted him, how each one fucked him differently, it was thrilling. He pulled his fingers out of himself, letting Sooga take a gander at his oiled, willing ass. The same ass that knew many, many men, and started to pump his cock. He would go on with his other boyfriends, but he didn’t want to wait longer. He wanted to hit Sooga right in that weak spot.

“Then the clan started. Those other blade masters...well. Let’s just say there’s a reason they’re so high in the ranks.”

He saw Sooga’s fingers grip onto the seats. He was already fuming from his past lovers, but his own peers? Oh, that was a way to get under a blade master’s hide. He was getting ANGRY. Not at Kohga of course, just the motion that ANYONE touched his precious Kohga.

“I remember once, a couple of them snuck into my room. They thought I was dead asleep, but I was very much awake. I felt them grope me, felt them pull at my clothes till it came off. Next thing I knew I had two in my ass, and two in my hands. Course I had that one guy in my mouth two, and the other three watching...oh who really knows? Once one was done, another guy took over. They pumped me full of cum, sucked and toyed with my cock. And I remembered I’d bark at them not to cum until I did, so they fucked me HARDER. Let me tell you, I have NEVER been that full of cum. Was practically swimming in it, and that was just how I liked it. I remembered them all tuckered out, asking if they pleased me.”

Kohga lifted his head up to look at his eyes. So angry, so jealous and furious, as if he was going to kill them for an absolute injustice.

“This...was the only case of them, yes?”

“Ooooh no. No. Not at all. Until you fell into the mix, I’d have a select few fuck me a few times a week. I still remember my favorite one. Big, strong guy. He’d tie my hands up in rope, nice and tight, and he’d just hold me down when he fucked me. He’d lean into my ear and whispered words dirty enough to make me shake. He was my favor-”

That was enough. Suddenly Sooga was on top of him, slamming his palm over Kohga’s mouth. Kohga was expecting something angry, something a bit kinky. But no. Sooga was FURIOUS. There was no stammering, no sweet talking, not even him asking as sweetly as he usually would. He just stuffed his cock in his eager, oiled ass, and fucked him. Fucked him with enough force that the head board kept knocking against the wall, that his hips ached from such a big, heavy body putting so much force into him.

"Stop it. Stop it. You're doing this to get a rise out of me. You want me to fuck you so badly, Master Kohga? I'll do that. I'll fuck you. I'LL be your favorite. No one else. Just me. Look at me."

And Kohga was LOOKING. Sooga had his legs wrapped around his own, keeping him in place so he had no choice but to take that nice, hard cock, right against that good fucking spot. Kohga tugged and clawed at his hand, as if he was trying to get Sooga off. Thank god Sooga knew better. Kohga just liked to thrash a bit, really MAKE his partner fuck his shit up. And Sooga was LOVING it. Kohga managed to move his mouth away a bit, trying not to grin too wildly.

"That's it, FUCK ME Sooga! Fuck my oiled ass, make me think of only YOUR cock!"

Kohga reached up to grab fistfulls of his uniform, yanking him to his face. Fuck that beautiful, panting face.

"Fuck me nice and proper, Sooga. Make me cum. Be my favorite boy, make my exes look like fucking LOSERS!"

Sooga may be pounding his ass like dough, but Kohga’s demands were still Kohga's. Sooga obeyed, shoving his fingers into Kohga’s pretty mouth, nearly making him gag as he continued to pound into him. Kohga knew he did that because he liked his dirty talk. Knew that he would cum if he listened to his pleading Master anymore, and he really, really wanted to be a good boy. Unfortunately, Sooga was so weak for his master. His fingers peeled out of his mouth, Sooga quickly becoming un done by not only his words, but his nice, tight body. Not that Kohga minded a small break from the rather large fingers. He was happy to sit there, moaning and grumbling, just absolutely so close to that edge.

“You LIKE fucking your Master Kohga, don’t you big guy?”

For a moment, they looked each other in the face, and Kohga only saw lust and competition. Exactly what he deserved to see in those big, pretty eyes of his. Sooga seemed to feel the exact same, as he leaned down, and pressed his forehead against his. For a moment, he was calm, still.

“I love you. More than anything. As such...I refuse to let your heart, or your loins, long for another.”

Translation? ‘Your ass is fucking mine’. This was right before Sooga put one hand on his chest, and the other on the headboard, continuing to slam his hips against Kohga. He couldn’t stop him (well he was strong enough to, but who the fuck would stop a BEAST like this?), and that’s how he liked it. He liked the force of his thrusts, liked the way the bed seemed to complain from the force, and loved, absolutely loved the feeling as hot seed was pumped into his insides. Kohga greedily raked his fingers down his back, finding himself cumming almost completely on time with Sooga. It had been SO long since that had happened, and it made poor Kohga’s body tremble. He sat there for a moment, letting Sooga finish emptying his balls right into him. It took a lot out of poor Sooga, given his panting, but his hips didn’t completely stop, instead settling for a nice, slow roll into Kohga.

“M...master Kohga? I’m...sorry.”

“Fucking hell Sooga, don’t you DARE apologize here, you ANIMAL.”

Kohga chuckled, wiping his face underneath his mask, finding himself drenched in sweat. Sooga shook his head.

“You don’t understand. I uh, do believe I broke the bed frame.”

Kohga was a bit too buzzed to fully understand, before it clicked. He leaned over a bit, and sure enough, Sooga broke three out of the four legs underneath his bed. What a feat. Kohga tossed his head back as he laughed, pushing into his shoulder.

“Oh, you were NOT kidding! Damn Sooga, look at you! Though you’re a big boy, shoot for all four next time.”

Sooga lightly shook his head, sighing. He could tell he was amused in his exhaustion.

“You’re relentless, Master Kohga, truly.”

Sooga’s finger danced up his chest, before he flicked his chin.

“The other Blade Master could do it.”

Sooga’s firm hand pushed onto his chest, nearly knocking the wind out of Kohga.

“You enjoy me putting me through trials, Master Kohga. You really, really do.”

“Oh, bite me, big boy.”

Sooga’s voice got nice and low, making Kohga nearly swoon underneath him.

“Is that a challenge?”

Something told Kohga, that Sooga was ready to prove himself as the best of the best.

Even if it took many, many more attempts.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

ugh i've been reading different takes, most of which are fairly well thought out, etc and I just can't fully decide how i feel. Please note, I've only watched the show one time so I'm going off memories and this is a post on tumblr.org explaining my feelings and impressions, not a detailed literary analysis for submission to a journal (my MA isnt even in english lit or film studies 😘)

I did generally like the Falcon and the Winter Solider but I still feel like, I dunno, a little off about Bucky? I also felt like Sam was just somehow underutilized or something, like, I dunno. So it's not like it's just him. But I'm dissecting Bucky's character here first and foremost (and I'll comment a bit on the whole show in the end)

it was a decent show and my expectations for marvel are on the floor anyway but I still like to think about these things because, Head Full Cant Stop The Fixation even if i try.

it might just be the residual fuckiness of Endgame that is shaking me. Like, Bucky should probably actually move towards being resentful of, or angry at, Steve for a while. I DO think the indication that his identity was wrapped up in how Steve saw him, that Steve was his moral compass etc was Good, in line with what we've seen of him before and something I personally agree with for his characterization. But there wasn't really any sense of acknowledgement for the way Steve chose to abandon him, which means it feels like something is missing. To me, at least.

Other than this, I still do feel a little iffy with the "Was he a villain or a victim" question. And to address some of those takes I've been reading, yes we've established before (in CW, whathaveoyu), he was a victim more than anything. and I will say, his seeking to make amends/atone of his own accord is fair, I can see how that would be healing. I also agree that his therapist and Zemo are not "reliable" sources when it comes to his character, they are both clearly biased as hell.

I also feel like there was a lot of time dedicated to insinuating that Bucky was in fact responsible for his actions with HYDRA, and I don't personally remember a time when Bucky or anyone else ever directly challenged that line of thinking to the face of those people. and some may say "well why do you need him to challenge that, he's not just some no-agency waif, people don't have to rush to his defense. he can handle it and we already know how he feels" and, like, sure, I guess. of course Bucky can't control how people think about him and what matters is what he thinks of himself. But, also, having other characters throw his trauma in his face a bunch of times just feels.... weird?

like one of the arguments I've seen is that people who are dissatisfied want him to be seen as "more vulnerable, more fragile, more feminine " , we want to see him "woobified", see his trauma displayed and drawn out for our sick twisted pleasure. which, like, wanting to see trauma played out on fictional characters is not inherently bad or morally objectionable, see the whole horror genre. and the other thing is that they did show us his trauma, such that it was thrown in his face often. From what I recall, He took this in stride and seemed to grow and heal regardless

again, though, I don't know. I do agree that the audience doesn't always need to be spoonfed things. And I vaguely recall Zemo might have been like "oh ho ho seems like I was a bit wrong about you" during their final confrontation before Bucky handed Zemo over to Ayo and I should probably confirm that, but ugh I've spent too long on this post already.

So i guess the thing is that they sorta pulled it off in the end? I think? if i'm remembering correctly anyway LOL. and on one hand it does make sense for them to show that arc and the change. but i'm still like at least a little frustrated that I personally felt beat over the head with instances of "You're at fault for being the Winter Solider" and Bucky being like "/shrug. i mean, maybe, I guess, not really, but yeah" until Sam tells him "you've gotta stop letting other people decide who you are and decide for yourself who you are" and Bucky is like "yeah"

but, yeah, if he was already in that place at the Beginning of the series, where does the change and growth go from there? It does make sense for him to be grappling with how his body was used for violence. I guess it feels like it just didn't get as in depth with that aspect of it. I don't know what I'm actually looking for, though.

That's another thing people have said, like, "okay, if you didn't like how his trauma was displayed or the ways he grew and change, what DID you want to see?" and for that one, I actually don't know. I do think it woulda been nice to see a bit more emotional vulnerability? I guesss? I mean, I know one of my favourite parts was the "couples therapy" scenes (not just for the ship bait 😏) but when Bucky said "if Steve was wrong about you maybe he was wrong about me" because, even tho the therapist (who was shitty) was Displeased, i was like, wow that's actually probably a lot to admit out loud, Yeah it's not fair to put that onto Sam, but I was pleased he got that off his chest anyway? I thought they might have more discussions, except for the very end (which I also enjoyed) but. yeah.

And maybe I'm just mad that we didn't get to see this until now, as well? And that a significant amount of growth/change must have happened off screen, save for the one flashback of testing him with the trigger words (which was great!). Because we do get to see him feeling guilty, grapple etc. despite knowing it wasn't his fault, which, I mean, I think is fair given what he's been through, but I still don't know if I'd say he was often "emotionally vulnerable" (and i don't think you need to fully woobify someone to show them as emotionally vulnerable.. and vulnerability isn't a Bad Horrible Nasty Thing)

LIKE LITERALLY, though, i don't know. I keep flipflopping. do I love it? do I hate it? do I just want to go back to stucky-healing-avengers-tower-2014 vibes? (yeah, i've been doing the latter for like 2 weeks now. it's fun). am i just pissed they assassinated Steve Rogers' character and we just have to move forward with that? (like objectively, yes.)

Maybe it was just, like, there was so much stuff jammed into the show? like we had Bucky's growth, Zemo's whateverthefuck, John Walker Cap, Karli and the Flagsmashers, Sam's becoming Captain America, Isiah's story, and the Boat Stuff, like. OH almost forgot about Sharon and the Powerbroker stuff.

like yeah all those things were all intertwined and they did it somewhat smoothly given the sheer number of them, but perhaps we didn't need ALL of them? like that's a lot of Significant Characters and a lot of plot to be juggling all at once for a limited series.

i guess one of the eternal Marvel Problems is that they are simultaneously 1) not fussed about making sure everything lines up perfectly with their other products because that's impossible and they're all written by different teams and 2) making sure their current movie/show IS setting up what's coming next at least in characters/plotlines even if it won't be fully cohesive after the fact

so while I did enjoy the series, maybe it mostly just would have benefited from paring down the amount of significant plots/people and dedicating more time to the actual leads (shocker) and then they could have had more vulnerability without sacrificing the resiliency in Bucky specifically.

but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i've already spent WAY too much brain power caring about this Goddamn Marvel Product .

In conclusion,

Idk

[fangirl-erdariel]

So I got like all of three people interested but that's abt all the prompting I need anyway 😂

So. Yeah. Chosen Ones. The Call of Destiny, the Call to Adventure.

Pretty much every Chosen One gets it, that's how you know they're Chosen Ones (ok granted there are chosen ones who first sorta accidentally end up involved in an adventure and only later on discover it was their Destiny all along. But that's not what I'm talking about here). Usually it comes either in the form of someone really just handing them a sword and telling them they gotta do stuff. Sometimes it's a bit more complicated. In Heralds of Valdemar books it typically involves a white magic horse walking up to the main character, introdicing themself, and saying they Choose the main character. Or possibly tricking their Chosen into getting on their back and then getting them into a situation where they can't really just say no. But yeah, in general, it's very hard to say no to an intelligent magic horse that really, really wants you to do something, when an unbreakable bond of love and trust is born almost from the moment you first look into the horse's eyes.

Either way, the Chosen Ones fairly often refuse their Destiny at first. Not always, and with some heroes it might work better with them accepting it right away, but fairly often, probably more often than not but I can't say for sure, they try to refuse it at first.

Why, in-universe, do they refuse? The common reasons are all more or less selfless; fear, feeling that they're not good enough and someone else would do it better, or some conflicting obligation they wish to fulfill first. The conflicting obligation is somewhat rarer than the other two, but not unheard of; for example Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope refuses at first to go with Obi-Wan to Alderaan not because he doesn't want to, but because he feels Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru need his help around the farm and he should not leave them, no matter how much he wants to become a pilot or something instead.

Now, I admit, you could call fear or feeling of not being good enough selfish reasons, but for this I feel they're at least somewhat selfless. Because when the Thing they gotta do requires a Chosen One, it's automatically very important. The fate of the entire world may be at stake. So fear and feeling they're not good enough are reasons based on acknowledging the importance of the task they're given and how bad things would go should they fail, and not wanting to fail. On the other hand, what I mean here when I say "selfish", is indifference to the task they're given, refusal either because they don't feel like it or because it would require giving up something they don't want to give up.

But what about refusing for a completely selfish reason? That's a lot more rare. Of course the reason probably is that it may be more difficult to make the hero change their mind, and it also portrays them in a far less pretty and perfect light than the aforementioned reasons.

In fact, there's only one work of fiction I can recall right now that has the hero refuse for a reason that can only be called selfish. There are certainly more out there, no work of fiction is that unique, but that's the only one that comes to mind right now.

That work is a show called Robin of Sherwood. Now, the show doesn't have much of a fandom, so I'll give a brief summary of it here. Robin of Sherwood was a British fantasy tv show that ran for three seasons in 1984-1986. The show was based on Robin Hood, but there were fantasy elements added into it that do not exist in traditional versions of Robin Hood.

One of those fantasy elements was that Robin was Herne's Son, a Chosen One of the pagan god/forest spirit Herne the Hunter. This decision turned out to work for the show makers' favor when the original actor of Robin left the show, as it allowed them to kill of the previous Robin and have Herne choose a new Son. As a result, the show has two rather different characters both doing the part of Robin Hood, stealing from the rich, inconveniencing Prince/King John, annoying the hell out of the Sheriff of Nottingham, and fighting for the poor and oppressed people.

Now the first Robin, Robin of Loxley, being Chosen goes fairly traditionally; he's slightly hesistant about accepting the call but does so fairly quickly anyway. By the time his home is destroyed and his adoptive parents murdered, he's already accepted his Destiny and ready and willing to do Herne's bidding. I'll return to him later, but first I want to get to the point and bring up the second Robin.

The second Robin is actually called Robert of Huntingdon, and he is a nobleman of a powerful and high-ranking family; he's the son and heir of the Earl of Huntingdon, and nephew of the King of Scotland. Herne chooses him immediately after the first Robin dies, perhaps even a little sooner given how quickly he's able to go to the outlaws' rescue. When Herne chooses him, he does agree to help a little; he saves the captured outlaws who would otherwise have been executed. But that is something he can do quickly, with little risk to himself. When it comes down to it, he still refuses to truly become Herne's Son.

And there's no fear or humility or claims of not being good enough behind him not refusing. One might argue that being the heir of the Earl of Huntingdon means conflicting loyalties/obligations, but the show does not frame his choice in a way that seems to make it about that. What he says to Herne when refusing is more or less "The outlaws are safe, I've done enough, I'm not doing anything more for you." He refuses simply because he's not interested in the job, and though it's not stated aloud, possibly also because accepting that destiny would be giving up all the comfort and priviledges he has and exchanging them for a very hard and dangerous life as an outlaw.

His eventual acceptance of the Call is because of equally selfish reasons; he meets Marion at a party and decides she's hot. When she's abducted soon afterwards, he decides to go to the rescue, and as his father would not accept the attempt, he goes to get help from Herne and gathers up those Outlaws he can find to aid him in her rescue. Granted, his reasons for rescuing Marion are not solely "she hot". There's arguably also general outrage at her being abducted and forced into marrying like that, as well as guilt over having endangered her by defending her earlier in the party from the person who eventually abducted her, and I think he would feel those things even had the abducted person been someone he didn't find attractive. But I feel like him liking her and wanting to be together with her also played a major part, and it may be that without that he would not have had strong enough feelings about the matter to go to her rescue (or at least he would not have gone so quickly and rashly, but instead taken his time considering whether it was worth it or not, and planning and preparing). I think that only after accepting his destiny, Robert starts truly caring about the things he as Herne's Son fights for strongly enough to actually fight for them.

And it works. It works, I dare say, better than any othrr reason for refusal. Robert has lived a very priviledged life, and the reasons Robin Hood fights are... not really matters that would ever have affected his life. He has little to fear from the nobility, as he is one of them. He hasn't faced oppression. He hasn't experienced poverty. He hasn't had to choose between stealing or poaching and starving. He may well have at some point noticed it happens, maybe felt somewhat bad about it, but they are not matters that would intimately concern him.

So why would he even give up all his priviledges, all the ease and comfort of his life, to fight for things that would never concern him if he stays a nobleman? A hero who cares that deeply would of course be admirable, but let's be real. Damn few people in real life would be willing to give up that much. Good people living priviledged lives might sacrifice a bit, do things that slightly inconvenience them or take a little away from what they have, but giving up absolutely everything? I don't think many people would. And honestly, taking that into account, having Robert refuse simply because he does not want that kind of life adds more depth to the character than a more traditional refusal would have had. It makes him seem less of an impossibly perfect hero, but all things considered, it does not make him seem too terribly selfish to ever be a hero, either.

In comparison, for Robin of Loxely in RoS the quick unquestioning acceptance of his new position works perfectly. He's already an outlaw when he first meets Herne; he has nothing to lose by agreeing. He's lived his entire life witnessing the immediate effects of oppression all around him, so the fight is instantly personal to him even before he starts fighting it for Herne.

So, yeah. I guess my point here, if I have any, is that different characters should respond differently to becoming the Chosen One, and if you write that kind of stories, it will be worth it to consider whether one of the stock responses works well (because it definitely might!) or whether you should think outside the most common ones for a bit.