#and then I can move on to other stuff without carrying over that stress

[dorian-they-ao3]

I have to take a few seconds after I finish any mundane yet necessary task to literally pat myself on the back/shoulder and say “good job Dorian. That was a hard thing you didn’t want to do but you did it and now it’s done” and I’m devastated to report it’s done wonders for my mental health

Incredibly rude that I have to teach myself how to have positive feelings. Those neural pathways are extremely rough terrain, compared to the well-worn paths of negativity and self-loathing.

What do you mean I have to do a productive thing and coach myself on how to feel accomplished from it?

What do you mean I have to do a fun activity and forcefully allow myself to enjoy it?

What do you mean I have to do relaxing things and coax myself to actually relax?

What do you mean all this comes naturally to some people as simple cause and effect and I'm out here fighting tooth and nail to feel good???

[idkwhatever580]

Love you!

Masterlist

Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader

Prompt: highschool!au where nat has a fat crush on yelenas bsf and needs a little help with what to do. Nat also has adhd :)

Warnings: swearing, nat being a dummy with adhd, smoochin, mentions of trigonometry 😰

A/n: I’m so sorry I didn’t post it earlier! Moving kicked my ass. @m0use123 I hope I did it justice!

Nobody’s pov

Natasha sighs and says

“I- I don’t know guys. It just. I can’t see her liking me back”

Wanda cuts in and says

“If there is a world where y/n doesn’t like you back then that world must be hell. Y/n is totally head over heels for you”

Nat rolls her eyes and says

“Y’all are so full of it. There’s no way that y/n even remotely likes me”

Maria says

“Actually we’re not kidding. She’s got the hots for you”

Natasha scoffs and says

“Okay. Whatever you say guys. Whatever makes you happy”

Carol gasps and says

“We should set you guys up!”

Natasha’s eyes go wide and she says

“No. No no no. No way. You are not setting us up”

Wanda then says

“But you’d be so cute together!”

Natasha sighs and says

“It’s not gonna happen. I mean. Could you imagine Lena’s reaction to us dating?! She’d flip her shit!”

Wanda looks over and says

“I don’t know. Yelena might be her best friend but they kind of act like sisters. Why not make it real?”

Natasha rolls her eyes and says

“Just stop guys.”

They all give up on their attempts but then they get an idea.

They subtly start texting back and forth on a group text without Natasha.

Ugly hags- Nat 💋

(Wand&Rabbit- Wanda

Christmas Carol- Carol

Mother Mary- Maria)

Wand&Rabbit: we should totally set them up

Christmas Carol: aren’t Lena and y/n supposed to come here later? We could make up a reason to get Nat and y/n alone 🤷‍♀️

Mother Mary: what excuse could we use to get them in nat’s room for enough time to figure out whatever they need to?

Wand&Rabbit: maybe we could play truth or dare and make them do 7 minutes in heaven! 🥵😏😏

Mother Mary: too obvious

Christmas Carol: Ria’s right we can’t be THAT obvious. Nat will know we’re up to something. She’s like a spy. Honestly I’m surprised she’s not sus about us texting rn 🥸🥸🥸

Wand&Rabbit: I think she’s looking at y/n’s insta rn. She’s prob lost in her eyes 🙄

Mother Mary: what if we use school as an excuse? I mean… y/n likes to tutor other students. And Nat has a trig text coming up. 👀

Christmas Carol: but Nat is like hella good at trig. Won’t y/n see right through it?

Wand&Rabbit: actually nat has been really stressed and has been wanting to work on more trig stuff. That’s a really good excuse. Especially since Lena despises trig. She’ll want nothing to do with it.

Mother Mary: so plan tutor sesh/ makeout sesh is a go?

Christmas Carol: I’m all for it.

Wand&Rabbit: I’m game.

Mother Mary: okay. Just checked y/n’s location. She’s pulling up with Lena now. 🤭

Christmas Carol: let’s do this. 🤫

Nobody’s pov

As Yelena walks in y/n trails behind her helping her carry a handful of groceries.

Yelena turns y/n and says

“Will you go get my fucking sestra? She needs to help with these. I got them. It’s her turn to unload them”

Y/n smiles and nods immediately knowing they get to see nat.

As y/n trots up to Natasha’s room she knocks and opens the door once she hears a come in.

She opens the door to find only Wanda, Maria, and carol

“Oh hey guys! Did you see nat? Lena is complaining that she needs to unload the groceries”

Carol says

“I think she’s in her closet maybe you could find her in there?”

Wanda smacks carols arm and says

“Actually! Tell nat we will handle the groceries”

They all make faces at each other which makes y/n quirk a brow but nonetheless she goes to knock on the closet door when they all move downstairs.

“Nat? Do you need help?”

“What! Oh! Uh- no! Shit- I’m good!”

As natasha says this she bumps her head on a hanger rack and y/n is concerned

“Are you sure? It doesn’t sound good in there”

Y/n goes to open the door and before she can see Natasha gets nervous and says the first thing that comes to mind

“I’m naked!!”

Y/n immediately closes the door and says

“Oh! I’m sorry I- I didn’t know”

She walks away before she makes it any more awkward.

As Natasha hears her crushes feet putter away, she slides down the door with a sigh.

Y/n goes back downstairs to help the others and Maria says

“So, is nat alright?”

Y/n blushes slightly and says

“Oh- yeah she um- she’s changing I think”

Maria nods her head and Wanda chirps in

“Hey! You’re good at trig right?”

Y/n nods her head and Wanda continues

“And you tutor other student who need help right?”

Y/n once again nods and says

“Why? Does somebody you know need help?”

Carol chips in and says

“Oh yes! Nat is really needing some help with studying for the upcoming exam”

Y/n furrows her brows and says

“Isn’t Natasha like way good at trig?”

Carol blanks and Maria falls in to help

“Yeah! But she’s been like really stressed out and has been trying to study in new ways! We think that having to study with someone who has the same skill set would maybe help reassure her”

Y/n nods in understanding and says

“That’s understandable. I could probably use some practice of my own as well! Does she know what time she wants to do it?”

Wanda nods and says

“Yes! Right now!”

Y/n pauses and says

“Oh- well I’m supposed to hang out with Lena today”

They pout and Carol says

“We will make sure you get the time you require with Yelena but I really think it would calm her nerves if you helped her now and she’s also been having a hard time with focusing on it as well. You know how she gets distracted”

Y/n weighs their options and finally agrees.

“Okay! Will you tell Yelena to not wait up on me? And help her with dinner please? Melina is out of town and Lena is just about as bad as Alexie with her cooking”

Y/n’s pov

I make my way up to Natasha’s room and knock again.

“Are you still changing? Or can I come in?”

She mumbles a small come in and I open the door

I step in and say

“Hey!”

Honestly I’m excited to spend time with her. I look at her desk and there’s books and papers spread out all messy.

She is drying her hair since she just got out of the shower.

God her natural hair is so beautiful. I wish she didn’t straighten it as much

“What do you want?”

She kind of comes off defensive and I say

“I don’t mean to intrude but the girls said that you needed some help with trig? I’m not as good as you but they said that you need to practice with someone who’s at least half way decent.”

She scoffs and says

“Of course. They don’t know what they’re talking about. I don’t need your help”

I sigh and sit down on her bed opposite of where she’s sitting.

“I never said you did. I just thought that maybe we could help each other? I mean we’re both really good, but sometimes I find it hard to get good practice in when I’m the one being the teacher you know? Like tutoring is hard. And I do it so much that I barely have any time to study myself. I thought we could work together.”

She thinks about it and says

“Y-you don’t have to if you don’t want to”

I smile and set my hand on hers.

“I want to I probably wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to.”

She chuckles awkwardly and I say

“Let’s get started”

I stand up and step over to her desk and she immediately hops up.

“Oh! Uh don’t mind that mess!”

She scratches the back of her neck and says

“I- um. I’ve been a little messy lately”

She tries to go and fix it but I stop her wrist and say

“I said I’d help you right? We can clean it up together and then start. Yeah?”

Her face turns red when I grab her wrist and she says

“Y-yeah”

It’s honestly cute. Oh great. Butterflies. I hate when she does that to me.

I let go of her hand and pull up a chair so we can both sit. We start organizing her desk in a way that is efficient but also where she can easily manage it.

Then we open the books. We go back and forth with trig until our conversations drift off and we get distracted.

Now we’re talking about Chappell Roan and Reneé Rapp and how great they are.

“What are your favorite songs nat?”

“By Chappell Roan or Reneé Rapp?”

“Hmm. Both!”

“Let me think… This is hard. But I think my favorite by Reneé Rapp is I do and my fav by Chappell Roan right now is picture you”

I smile and heat rises to my cheeks and I say

“Is there a person that you think about when you listen or just good beats?”

She turns red and says

“Uh- yeah there’s a girl. But no more questions about that! What are your favorites?”

I know immediately but I pretend to think

“Hmm… I think snow angel is my favorite by Reneé Rapp and then by Chappell Roan… kaleidoscope!”

I smile knowing what her next question will be and I say

“And I think of my dad in snow angel because it talks about addiction and my dad is an alcoholic. Which you know is why I spend a lot of time here. And I think about a girl for kaleidoscope as well”

She smiles and says

“That’s rough. I’m so sorry about your dad”

I shrug and say

“It’s alright. I can’t change him. But maybe he’ll be better one day”

I sign and space out for a split second before I shake myself out of it and say

“Let’s finish practicing this trig!”

Honestly. It kind of startled Natasha a bit when I said that because she seemed to be spaced out as well.

“Oh! Right yes! Sorry I get so distracted all the time”

I smirk and say

“It’s okay I do too.”

We smile at each other and finish working on trig. Then I say

“We better wrap it up. We’ve been up here for an hour and Yelena is sure to start crawling her way up here soon”

“Yeah I guess so.”

I get up to go and I turn around when Natasha says

“Wait! Y/n, I just want to thank you. You didn’t have to do this for me”

I smile and say

“Don’t worry about it. I needed it too. So we’re even.”

Then I turn to her door and she follows me to the room.

As I step out of the door, I turn around and smile at nat. I hold my hand out and twirl a piece of her hair in my hand and say

"You should wear your hair natural more."

She furrows her eyebrows and says

"Why?"

I sigh and say

"It's so beautiful. I love it so much"

After I say that I kind of realize how close I got to her and how she is super tense.

Fuck I'm making her uncomfortable. God dammit y/ n you dumbass

I pull away after accidentally looking at her lips a bit too long. I feel the heat rising to my cheeks and say

"I should probably get going. Yelena is waiting for me probably so bye!”

Nat nods her head equally as awkward as me and says

"Okay bye! I love you!"

I freeze when she says this and she immediately realizes her mistake and slams the door in my face.

Did she really mean it? What the fuck?

I turn around and am about to go to the living room downstairs where Yelena is inevitably waiting for me but then I make a last minute decision and turn back around.

Yelena can wait

Nat’s pov

Fuck. I just did that. Shit shit shit. It just slipped out. I didn't even mean to. And I slammed the fucking door on her too!! She probably hates me

I am pacing back and forth in my bedroom as l contemplate my life. Then she starts banging on my door and I weigh my options.

If I let her in she might punch me in the face. But then again a punch to the face doesn’t sound half bad.

She stops knocking and says

“Nat I know you can hear me. Please let me in”

Her voice is so soft I can’t help but listen.

Y/n’s pov

The second the door swings open I step in and close the door.

“Tell me you mean it”

She looks dumbfounded and says

“Wha- what do I mean?”

I roll my eyes and say

“Tell me you meant it when you said that!”

She looks scared but defeated and says

“I meant it. I’m so sorry I-”

The second she says that I immediately pounce on her.

Her lips are so soft. And she kisses back immediately.

We kiss until I have to pull away for air and I giggle at her silly face.

“I love you too”

She widens her eyes and says

“You do?”

I laugh and say

“You know. You’re really stupid for someone who is better than me at trig”

She blushes and says

“You know, you’re really mean for someone who claims to love me”

I dramatically gasp and say

“I can’t let our friends think that you have the upper hand on me now can I?”

“I guess you’ll just have to suck it up from now on”

“From now on?”

I am literally standing in her arms with our lips slightly swollen and pink and I asked that.

She gets nervous and pulls away and says

“Well. Yeah. I thought maybe since this happened it meant we would be a thing?”

I sigh and say

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to confuse you”

I said the wrong thing again. God dammit. Why can’t I just be normal?

She gets scared and says

“Oh. I thought you liked me. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize”

I immediately fix my mistake

“No no no! I meant I was a little nervous and confused. And I didn’t mean to confuse you. I questioned it because I didn’t know if you wanted us to be a thing or not. I would love to be a thing. But you don’t have to if you don’t want to”

I stumble over my words and ramble

“Y/n, I want to be a thing”

I smile and say

“Oh okay. That’s good”

She smiles and I say

“So does that mean?”

“That were girlfriends? Yes”

I smile and hug her and say

“This is unreal”

She pulls away and says

“I know. I’ve liked you for so long now. Honestly I think the girls just wanted you to ‘tutor’ me as a ploy to set us up”

I laugh and say

“Probably”

Then I realize that I haven’t gone down to Yelena yet and I say

“I need to spend some time with Lena. I’m sorry. Oh my god! I just realized what is Yelena gonna do when she finds out about us! She’s gonna hate me forever and try to kill me!”

I start pacing back and forth and then Natasha grabs my arms to stop me and says

“Hey hey! It’s gonna be okay alright? She might have a hard time at first but she’ll get over herself eventually.”

I sigh and say

“Thanks natty. You always know how to calm me down”

She smiles and I look at her lips again.

Before we can kiss I say

“Maybe we just don’t have to tell her yet. Let her figure it out on her own?”

Natasha smiles and says

“I like that idea. Now kiss me”

I listen and touch our lips together. It’s soft and fiery at the same time. Like her touch is burning me but it’s also soothing at the same time.

She runs her tongue along my lip and tries to gain access into my mouth but I’m a little hard to get so I don’t comply.

She obviously takes charge in the bedroom because she never acts this brave any other time.

Once she gets tired of me rejecting her she grabs my butt and I gasp when she picks me up.

She uses this time to slip her tongue into my mouth and I moan at her taste.

My hands thread into her hair as she lays us down on her bed.

We’re so lost in the moment that we don’t hear her door open

“Y/n when are you guys going to be don-”

Yelena freezes in the doorway and the rest of the girls are standing behind her with all different reactions.

We pull away at her words and our eyes are wide and Natasha scurries to get off me.

Once Yelena composes herself she clears her throat and says

“Um. Gross. But kinda… cute.”

Honestly this kind of makes my heart calm down a bit. I thought it was going to jump out of my throat for a second.

Then Wanda breaks the silence and says

“Eee!! This is great!”

Maria smirks and crosses her arms

“Glad you two losers finally figured it out”

Yelena turns to them and says

“Figured what out?”

Carol rolls her eyes and says

“These dumbasses have been crushing on each other forever!”

We both are standing there and Yelena says

“Oh. I didn’t know that. But I guess now I do”

I sigh and say

“What do you think Lena?”

She thinks for a sec and says

“I don’t give a fuck. Love who you love. But please for the love of God don’t do anything while I’m here”

I smile and say

“Don’t worry we won’t.”

“Great now that that is settled I have a movie to watch with my best friend”

Yelena grabs me and pulls me downstairs and the rest of the girls come with us.

Thankfully Lena and I never sat on the same area of the couch. She always sits on the left side and I sit in the corner of the L so nat can join me.

She sits behind me and Lena looks over, fake gags, and then plays the movie.

——————————————

Taglist

@ilovesnat @ihartnat @marvelnatasha12346 @moistblobfish @justarandomreaderxoxo @lovelyy-moonlight @symp4nat

[possibilistfanfiction]

caitvi: funeral :)

[i see u all trying to get me to write angst don't think i don't! but this is v little angst & mostly sweet, once again i love sisters. jinx pov, little continuation of this silly au if u are interested.]

//

‘are you attending some funeral i don’t know about, or —‘

vi huffs, straightening her collar in the mirror by the front door. ‘it’s a nice outfit.’

‘sure.’ to be fair, she is in nice black slacks — possibly her only pair of pants other than her firefighter uniform that don’t have a rip somewhere — and chelsea boots without too many scuffs, and those are fine on their own, but paired with a black, long-sleeve button up and a black trench coat — yours, thank you very much — she looks kind of ridiculous. ‘if you’re a caterer. or, you know, a pall bearer.’

she groans, flopping down on your couch in very overdone despair. and people say you’re dramatic. ‘well then you fix it.’

you’d known vi was nervous for days now, which you think is ridiculous. you’ve already climbed twice indoors again with caitlyn and jayce, so it’s not like they haven’t seen each other and subsequently flirted to no end; thankfully ekko had come the second time, so, along with jayce, you outnumbered them at least. vi had sent some monster stuff on lead, a great outcome of her nerves that was honestly sick to watch; she’s also showered every day and cooked you dinner when she’s not on shift, and she even got a real honest-to-god haircut at a real honest-to-god barber instead of your haphazard best with clippers and a pair of dull scissors every few months. she doesn’t look too different, really, a little neater if anything, but she carries herself with a self-consciousness — some mixture of deep care and a little embarrassment, maybe — that would be endearing and amusing if it wasn’t so tragic. seeing vi this stressed over a pretty (which you will admit aloud; you can see caitlyn) and cool (which you will never admit aloud) girl kind of makes your chest ache a little.

‘can do,’ you tell her, taking pity, and salute to off-set her frown. it works, just like it does every time, like it has since you were little, even if you feel kinda upset too. the idea of having to share vi with anyone, even if it’s a good thing and a good person, even if she definitely deserves to give her love — the best love — to someone, has been making you feel off, so you’ve been seeking out all the comfort you can. sometimes everything is too fast and too slow, the voices that have been so quiet these past few years, since vi got out of prison and you moved in with her and started university, knocking on your door, urgent. you’ve talked about it with your therapist and worked on adjusting your meds; you’ve tinkered in your room with the lights off when everything has been too loud; you’d sat in the park with ekko under your favorite tree, your head in his lap. you haven’t told vi explicitly, but she knows what’s going on, and she’s woken up from frequent nightmares before you’d been able to sleep lately, so you’d sat together on the couch, covered in soft blankets, and rewatched your favorite episodes of queer eye in the middle of the night, crying so hard you end up laughing as the sun comes up.

you have your own rooms now, after you upgraded to a bigger, much nicer apartment in a much safer area of town after she’d saved enough money and you’d gotten a work-study to help with the rent; she’d insisted on the smaller bedroom, because a lot of her shifts are overnight, but mostly you think it’s because she loves you and, in a lot of ways, is just trying to make up for lost time. you’d stopped being mad at her for getting arrested a long, long time ago, and, even though the voices are louder right now, they’ll fade, and you hope that knowing someone like caitlyn will help assuage vi of some of the guilt she’s always still carrying around.

you walk into her room first, scrounge around in her closet for the sweater you know she has because you bought it for her last birthday, hopeful for occasions just like this one, and emerge victorious. you put on your best tan france accent and pop a hip. ‘this, tucked into your pants, to match your eyes.’

vi nods seriously, even though she smiles at your impression. ‘good one, jinx.’

‘i know,’ you say. ‘i am the best dressed family member for a reason.’

vi is kind enough to not mention your current outfit of a ratty old fire department hoodie of hers that has long since been retired, sleep shorts with the elastic coming out of the waist, and mismatched socks, one slipping down your foot, but she does raise an eyebrow before shrugging out of the trench coat and unbuttoning her stupid shirt. the sweater you had picked out, and saved for, for months, is tight enough you can see her muscles, but loose enough she doesn’t look like an asshole; it’s a soft cashmere with a cool mock turtleneck you think fits her well. you nod in approval and venture to the coat closet while she tucks it in, and then bring her a leather jacket that had been vander’s once upon a time, you’re pretty sure, so it’s oversized on vi, but, ‘very cool,’ you say.

she looks at herself in the mirror and her shoulders relax; you know you did a good job, so you grin and pat yourself on the back. vi rolls her eyes but she laughs and wraps you up in a hug anyway.

‘are you wearing cologne?’ you mumble into her shoulder.

‘is it too much?’

‘no,’ you assure; it’s musky, with a little bit of smoke: warm. ‘it smells nice, actually. good taste for once.’

you feel her smile on the top of your head, and then she takes a serious breath.

you back up so you can really look at her. ‘caitlyn is, like, fine and all,’ you say, ‘and i will detonate a bomb if you tell anyone i said this, but you’re the coolest person i know.’

her eyes start to get a little watery so you wrinkle your nose and shove her; she barely moves, she’s so strong, but it does get her to sniffle into a smile. ‘you sure you’re okay with this? i know things have been harder for you lately.’

she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t really care, about both you and caitlyn. ‘yeah, sis,’ you say, and you mean it. ‘i’m sure.’

vi’s smile is too bright for you to feel otherwise, honestly. she putters around a little in front of the mirror again, and then you hear the buzzer. you scramble past her so you can answer. ‘come on up,’ you say, before caitlyn can even get a word in, and then buzz her in, grinning at vi when she sighs.

‘did you think she brought you flowers? oh my god, please.’ you twirl around.

‘you have a boyfriend; you and ekko go on dates all the time.’

‘i guess.’ you wrinkle your nose; it’s true, but, ‘definitely not quite like this though. wined and dined and all.’

caitlyn knocks on the door before vi can get another word in, and when you open it, a little too fast so it flings into the shoe rack, which makes vi wince, you’re very, very glad you made vi change, because caitlyn is in an understated, gorgeous navy blue dress and camel peacoat, her heels making her a good few inches taller than vi.

‘hello, jinx,’ she says, and then offers you a bottle of red wine and a carry out bag of — when you sniff it — your favorite chinese food. ‘as penance for stealing your sister tonight.’

you turn to vi. ‘keep her, please.’

both caitlyn and vi laugh while you scurry over to the kitchen island with your bounty, but you watch vi accept caitlyn’s offering of a single pressed flower in a small, simple black frame. ‘violet,’ she says, smiles crookedly, and vi grins, a little in awe, and kisses her cheek.

you’re ready for this, you are, because vi sets it down carefully on the entry table you’d fixed up together, and then smiles over at you, her fingers already tangled with caitlyn’s. ‘be good, jinx.’

you roll your eyes.

‘see you later,’ she says. ‘don’t wait up.’

‘ew.’ you uncork the wine; you’ll have to google the bottle later to see how much caitlyn really is trying to get on your good side. ‘have fun, i guess,’ you say, and they wave as they head out the door.

you do wait up, of course you do, playing video games and texting vander. when vi does get back in, her cheeks are flushed and her lips swollen.

‘went well, then?’

she startles a little, even though the tv is on and you’re clearly on the couch, her back pressed to the door like an actual teenager. ‘she’s … yes, it went well.’

‘make out in her subaru?’

when vi doesn’t say no, you roll your eyes. ‘gross. cliche too. i’m going to bed.’

vi laughs, happy. you’re happy too. ‘’night, jinx.’

‘goodnight, vi.’ the light from the tv is soft and she looks younger than you’re used to, her scars and everything behind them faded in the washed out, gentle light. ‘love you.’

her smile softens, just for you. ‘love you too.’

[ikkyfics]

Rush to Love

Summary: Things Peter Does for Love

Warnings: just fluffy

Masterlist

Peter always shows up before you even ask for help, saying, "I heard the universe whisper that you needed me."

Peter is terrible at keeping surprises and always delivers your gift before the planned day because he can't wait.

He wears sunglasses to look "cool," but takes them off the moment you laugh and tells you he looks like a cartoon character.

Peter loves to make little bets with you, but he always exaggerates the consequences, like running around the mansion ten times just to make you laugh.

He is extremely competitive at board games, but occasionally lets you win.

When you're cold, he moves fast enough to warm up the room without you noticing.

He watches your favorite movies or shows and asks you questions in real time.

He is always singing, especially to you, even if he is completely off-key.

When you sleep, he watches and tries to imitate the way you breathe, because he finds it fascinating.

He loves to catch you off guard with sudden hugs, saying, “You’ll never see me coming.”

He tries to learn your hobbies, but he always finds a way to speed up the process (and sometimes ruins it along the way).

He loves making up silly dance routines to songs that remind him of you.

He insists on showing you all the “cool stuff” he finds while running around the world.

Peter always says that you’re the one thing in the universe he can never capture fast enough, just to make you smile.

He bombards you with questions about your day, even if you’ve just gotten off a long phone call explaining everything.

He challenges you to races that you can never win, but he makes sure the finish line is always a big hug.

Peter loves it when you wear his clothes, but he feigns indifference to hide how adorable he finds it.

He tries to prove that he can be responsible, but he makes mistakes along the way and uses his charm to fix everything.

Peter buys too much candy to share, but ends up eating most of it because “time flies by too fast.”

He makes mental maps of all your favorite places and takes you there whenever he feels like you need to relax.

When you’re upset, he rushes out to do something ridiculous that ends up making you laugh unintentionally.

He calls you “the only person who makes me want to slow down.”

Sometimes Peter speeds up just to admire your smile for longer.

Peter constantly steals candy from the pantry, leaving funny notes like, “I promise I’ll pay you back… someday (not really).”

He carries an extra Walkman with a personalized cassette tape full of songs that remind him of you.

When you’re busy, he runs to the store to buy something you mentioned once, even if it was months ago.

Peter loves taking candid photos of you and says he wants to capture “natural, epic moments.”

He’s obsessed with winning at arcade games just to impress you.

He gives you funny, over-the-top nicknames, like “my supersonic shooting star.”

Whenever he’s anxious or nervous, he’ll playfully play with your hair or hold your hands to calm you down.

He’ll plan mini movie marathons and insist on starting with his favorites, even if he falls asleep halfway through.

He’ll playfully disappear and reappear behind you just to scare you, then hug you.

When he notices you’re stressed, he’ll run to get your favorite food, even if it’s on the other side of town.

He’ll joke about your speed, saying things like, “I could run around the world, but nowhere is better than here with you.”

He’ll try to walk slowly beside you, but gets distracted and accidentally speeds up, quickly returning with apologies.

He collects tickets from every outing you take together, even random events like local fairs.

He buys you t-shirts from your favorite bands and calls them “official couple clothes.”

When you’re feeling down, he’ll sit quietly next to you for a few minutes, but he’ll quickly try to cheer you up with one of his witty comments.

Peter always shows up before you even ask for help, saying, "I heard the universe whisper that you needed me."

Peter is terrible at keeping surprises and always delivers your gift before the planned day because he can't wait.

He wears sunglasses to look "cool," but takes them off the moment you laugh and tells you he looks like a cartoon character.

Peter loves to make little bets with you, but he always exaggerates the consequences, like running around the mansion ten times just to make you laugh.

He is extremely competitive at board games, but occasionally lets you win.

When you're cold, he moves fast enough to warm up the room without you noticing.

He watches your favorite movies or shows and asks you questions in real time.

He is always singing, especially to you, even if he is completely off-key.

When you sleep, he watches and tries to imitate the way you breathe, because he finds it fascinating.

He loves to catch you off guard with sudden hugs, saying, “You’ll never see me coming.”

He tries to learn your hobbies, but he always finds a way to speed up the process (and sometimes ruins it along the way).

He loves making up silly dance routines to songs that remind him of you.

He insists on showing you all the “cool stuff” he finds while running around the world.

Peter always says that you’re the one thing in the universe he can never capture fast enough, just to make you smile.

He bombards you with questions about your day, even if you’ve just gotten off a long phone call explaining everything.

He challenges you to races that you can never win, but he makes sure the finish line is always a big hug.

Peter loves it when you wear his clothes, but he feigns indifference to hide how adorable he finds it.

He tries to prove that he can be responsible, but he makes mistakes along the way and uses his charm to fix everything.

Peter buys too much candy to share, but ends up eating most of it because “time flies by too fast.”

He makes mental maps of all your favorite places and takes you there whenever he feels like you need to relax.

When you’re upset, he rushes out to do something ridiculous that ends up making you laugh unintentionally.

He calls you “the only person who makes me want to slow down.”

Sometimes Peter speeds up just to admire your smile for longer.

Peter constantly steals candy from the pantry, leaving funny notes like, “I promise I’ll pay you back… someday (not really).”

He carries an extra Walkman with a personalized cassette tape full of songs that remind him of you.

When you’re busy, he runs to the store to buy something you mentioned once, even if it was months ago.

Peter loves taking candid photos of you and says he wants to capture “natural, epic moments.”

He’s obsessed with winning at arcade games just to impress you.

He gives you funny, over-the-top nicknames, like “my supersonic shooting star.”

Whenever he’s anxious or nervous, he’ll playfully play with your hair or hold your hands to calm you down.

He’ll plan mini movie marathons and insist on starting with his favorites, even if he falls asleep halfway through.

He’ll playfully disappear and reappear behind you just to scare you, then hug you.

When he notices you’re stressed, he’ll run to get your favorite food, even if it’s on the other side of town.

He’ll joke about your speed, saying things like, “I could run around the world, but nowhere is better than here with you.”

He’ll try to walk slowly beside you, but gets distracted and accidentally speeds up, quickly returning with apologies.

He collects tickets from every outing you take together, even random events like local fairs.

He buys you t-shirts from your favorite bands and calls them “official couple clothes.”

When you’re feeling down, he’ll sit quietly next to you for a few minutes, but he’ll quickly try to cheer you up with one of his witty comments.

[craftingcreatures]

Some sketchy concept stuff that I'm posting because I liked it but couldn't be bothered to refine it into an actual artwork.

These submarine behemoths are the Mermares (Clade Euhippocampiformes), secondarily aquatic descendants of the domestic donkey. The group first appeared around 29 million years post-cataclysm, in the late Nerian stage of the Diluvian period. They evolved from an animal called the Seabra, a descendant of the Donkey which adapted to exploit a niche with, thus far, zero competition - that of a large marine herbivore.

On earth, marine ecosystems are notable for the distinct lack of vascular plant life, a condition caused by a number of factors - most notably the osmotic stress caused by the saltwater. Most photosynthesis is carried out by algae. On Spero, however, things are different. Because Spero's oceans were generated relatively recently, from extraterrestrial ice particles, there just hasn't been enough time for erosion and the water cycle to deposit dissolved minerals in the water. As a result, Spero's seas are made of freshwater - a much more tolerable condition for most plants, and thus the diversity of marine vascular plants is much, much higher than on earth. Also, due to the flatness of the flooded landscape and lack of any real tectonic features, enormous swathes of the seabed lie within the photic zone, less than 200 meters from the surface. Thus, endless expanses of marine grasslands - the "seagrass prairies" - extend from the shore, often for hundreds of miles before the water finally gets too deep for photosynthesis to occur.

All of this plant life is an extremely attractive prospect for herbivores, and it was likely what drew the ancestral Seabra to forage in shallow coastal meadows in the first place. But as the oceans got deeper and life adapted, the Seabra had to adapt in kind - their hind legs rotated backwards to act as a pair of propulsive flukes, their forelimbs developed into steering flippers, and their nostrils retreated to sit on their foreheads.

One notable feature of the Mermares is hyperphalangy, a condition where the fingers have too many bones. It's very common in large marine tetrapods in Earth's history - whales and dolphins, Ichthyosaurs, Plesiosaurs, and Mosasaurs all exhibited hypoerphalangy to some degree - and seems to be associated with the specialization of the limbs into flippers. We would expect to see similar patterns in marine lineages on Spero. What's unique about the Mermares, however, is the sheer number of extra phalanges in the finger; at least fifteen in the shorter-finned species, and more than thirty in the longest-finned forms. And because Mermares - being equids - only possess one digit per limb, the result is a single long chain of flat, squarish bones which, in some cases, can reach over forty feet long - the longest arms ever to exist.

These ridiculous appendages produce a lot of drag and are merely adequate for steering and stabilization. So why do the Mermares have them?

The answer is that they're weapons. And particularly devastating ones, at that.

Mermares use their flagellating flippers as bludgeons, against both predators and conspecifics. The flippers are connected to powerful neck muscles and can be swung forward with impressive force; combined with a well-timed twisting of the giant horse's torso, the huge flippers can impact hard enough to shatter bone and pulverize flesh. The flippers themselves do not escape unscathed, and older individuals often have scarred or mangled flipper-tips from numerous battles over the years; but it's a small price to pay for survival.

When not being used against their enemies, the flippers may be folded back against the sides of the animal to reduce drag, or used as props to keep the animal's belly up off the seabed when feeding. Mermares spend up to 18 hours per day grazing, using their long neck to crop aquatic grasses and other vegetation in a wide arc without moving their bodies and occasionally dipping up to the surface to breathe. Mermares are keystone species in the seagrass prairies; as hindgut fermenters, they are not as efficient at processing plant matter as ruminants like goats, and produce large amounts of nutrient-rich dung which acts as fertilizer for the meadows and helps keep the environment productive. The dung also acts as food for a variety of fish and invertebrates.

Let's look at some of the Mermare's diversity, shall we?

Drepanarion (center right) One of the smaller Mermares, Drepanarion nonetheless grows to nearly 12 meters (39 feet) long. It is immediately recognizable by the bold black-and-yellow striping on the heads and necks of the stallions, and by the tall, narrow nuchal crest which extends from the withers and makes the stocky body look even more powerful. Unlike most other Mermares, which live in small groups of less than ten individuals, Drepanarion can be found in herds of over a hundred in the seagrass prairies of the Savanian (41 - 50 million years post-cataclysm). These nomadic throngs graze patches of seagrass nearly to the roots before moving on, giving the ecosystem time to regrow before returning in a few years' time. Drepanarion exhibits the most extreme sexual dimorphism of any Mermare, with stallions being both larger and more brightly coloured than mares; during the annual rut, males will fight each other in brutal bludgeoning matches to establish dominance and secure mates. To this end, they have some of the most extreme flipper anatomy of any Mermare; though not especially long (indeed, they have the shortest flippers of any derived genera), each phalanx bone has a protruding bony tubercle on the anterior edge which extends into a keratinous knob. These knobs both protect the flipper during combat and focus the force of the blow into a smaller area, dealing more damage.

Hipposeidon (bottom left) First appearing in the early Imberian (50 million years post-cataclysm), Hipposeidon is the largest of all Mermares and, indeed, the largest animal ever to exist on Spero, with stallions regularly reaching over 24 meters (80 feet) long (mares are slightly smaller). Extremely large specimens may even reach 30 meters (100 feet), although this is rare. This ludicrous size - nearly rivaling even the mighty Blue Whale of Earth - is possible only due to the sheer abundance of its food. Hipposeidon appears at the height of the seagrass prairie's extent, and can pack away almost 900 kilograms (1900 pounds) of seagrass per day. This superlative food requirement has important consequences for Hipposeidon's behaviour; this animal is migratory. Seagrass prairies are extremely productive ecosystems, but nonetheless Spero is a seasonal world; as the summer growth gives way to the winter die-back, the greatest of the Mermares must migrate across the equator to seek out a continuous food source to fuel its immense bulk. In this way Hipposeidon experiences a perpetual summer, interrupted only by the biannual migration from north to south and back again. Female Hipposeidon are pregnant for about one year, timing the birth of the single large foal with arrival to the feeding grounds; the six-meter-long foal enjoys a long childhood nursing and playing in shallow summer waters, gathering strength before making the long swim across the barren tropical zone to pastures new.

Bathypegasus (top left) The last and possibly the weirdest of the great Mermares, Bathypegasus is the only member of the clade which is not a grazer. Instead, it is a specialist feeder on pelagic, free-floating ferns. These ferns are a seasonal bounty, growing in huge numbers in the tropical summers of the late Imberian (60 million years post-cataclysm), where the planetary ring system shades out large portions of the planet for half the year. A close relative of Hipposeidon, Bathypegasus has left its ties to the seabed behind, becoming a fast, powerful swimmer which spends most of its life far above the sea floor. Its flippers have adapted to be even more ludicrously long - the longest forearms of any animal, ever, with each one measuring nearly 14 meters (45 feet) in length and each containing at least 35 individual bones. No longer used to prop the animal up off the seabed, these whiplike flippers are narrow and streamlined and can be whipped through the water at speeds of nearly 20 meters per second (that's over 40 mph) - the most extreme weaponry of any Mermare, and used to great effect against predators. Bathypegasus, like Hipposeidon, is migratory, following the blooms of pelagic ferns across Spero's oceans. Thanks to this midwater diet it is the only genus of Mermare to survive past the mid-Imberian extinction, when rising sea levels and steepening coastal slopes caused the seagrass prairies to disappear. Bathypegasus finally died out in the Ultimoxerian stage, around 75 million years post-cataclysm, the last and weirdest of the giant marine horses.

[tpwkwriter]

pease do where Harry took her v card last night and the morning after like when shes bleeding and harry being really caring and protective

Warnings: mentions of the deed, cursing, fluff<3

—————————The morning after————————

Y/n sat up in the empty bed, the bed where her Innocence had been taken the night prior, her T-shirt and his boxers where the only things clad on her body, her hair felt scruffy, and her bones definitely had an ache.

Flashbacks to evening before y/n wasn’t sure she’s felt so many butterflies and flutters in her stomach in one night.

Her mind kept going back to the way his hands roamed her body, they way his forearms would be either side of her head, he was just so Devine.

“What’s on your pretty mind?” Said a voice throwing her out of thought.

Harry entered the room placing a cup of water on her bedside table and a kiss to the top of her head.

“Y’alrigh?” He asks plopping down next to her.

“Mmm” she smiled, taking a sip of her water

She leaned her head on his bicep which further elevated her comfort, he pressed another kiss in return.

“Want me to run y’bath” he asked

“Yes please, and can y’add some of that lavender stuff, will help with my legs” she bashfully admitted.

“Y’legs?, y’in pain?” He asks, eyebrows furrowing and now moving to look at her.

“Just a Bit achy, just how is is H, don’t panic”

“M’sorry love, was as slow and gentle as I could be” he muttered into her hair

“You were amazing” he added

A red colour stained her cheeks as he continued to utter these words and pressing kisses to her like there’s no tomorrow.

“Want that bath?” He offered again.

“Yes please”

—————————

Y/n slowly made her way towards the bathroom, though standing up was definitely a challenge.

“Shit” she winced standing up from the bed.

“Slowly love” Harry said, gently putting a hand on the low of her back to guide her.

Once y/n got into the tub Harry thought this was an ideal time to properly clean the bed and change the sheets.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t overthinking last night, was he too rough? Was she okay? Did he check on her enough?

Y/n sat in the tub and seeing her red raw inner thighs made her let out a small chuckle at the memory of the night before, it somewhat felt surreal that her virginity was taken by someone who she adored so much, Harry shew her so much love and attention that it made her heart race 10x much.

“Y’okay beauty” Harry called from the bedroom, knocking y/n from her reminiscing.

“Yes love, come sit with me” she answered.

Normally y/n was a very private and shy individual, but there was something Harry carried with him that radiates safety and comfort and after the previous night his words made her feel so beautiful.

Without a word he presses a kiss to her forehead and proceeds to sit on the closed toilet Sid which sat next to the tub.

Y/n loved admiring the beauty that was her boyfriend, her eyes drunk him all in and enjoyed it thoroughly.

“Thank you for last night” Harry admits knocking the train out of her mind.

“Harry” she began

“Thank you, you treated me lovely” she stressed wanting it to get through his head.

“S’jus, such a vulnerable moment and you shared y’first with me” he smiles.

“And there’s no one else I would’ve rathered” she said looking directly at him.

“Love”

“S’true” she sighed.

“Y’gonna make blush n shit” he chortled.

“That’s because your just a big sap” y/n teased

A moment of comfortable silence washed over them enjoying the bliss of simply just each others company.

“Love?” Harry asked.

“Hmm”

“Was last night painful?” He asked his green eyes filling with slight concern

“Harry-“ she started.

“Y/n” he answered a slight more serious and deeper tone.

“Baby, only a teeny bit it’s normal, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t bleed slightly in the bathroom after but it’s so normal Harry-“

But he wouldn’t take that.

“What?” He asked eyes pinching closed and tighter as each word rolled off her tongue

“Baby stop beating yourself up-“

“I made you fucking bleed?”

“Harry listen to me”

Clearly lost in his own brain overthinking the worst things ever.

“It’s normal, before you I was a virgin it’s fine, harry it’s not your fault you didn’t cause anything, hell it didn’t even hurt, m’used to periods and much worse love so stop letting your brain win”

Harry looked up at her, her beautiful eyes and face were the death of him.

“Fuck love” he said quick to move off of the toilet lid and kneel beside the tub to level with her face.

“I love you so much Harry, your the best boyfriend, I felt so safe, so loved in your arms last night, as sickly as that sounds” she quietly said while studying his features.

“I love you y/n, I never want to hurt you, cause ya pain ever ever ever” he rambled.

“I know silly, now gimme a kiss you big sap” y/n requested.

A kiss she received.

——————————————————————————

[catcze]

⠀「 Grocery Shopping *ೃ༄ 」 

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

「 FEAT : 」 Kazuha, Xiao, Thoma, Ayato, Alhaitham

「 ### : 」 gn reader, domestic fluff, established relationship, modern au

Reposted from my secondary blog !!

⠀「 KAZUHA*ೃ༄ 」

An absolute sweetheart who insists on pushing the cart or carrying the basket for you !!

Sticks pretty close to your grocery list, though if something interesting catches his eye he might pick it up and show it to you in hopes to convince you to get it.

His choices in food are of the healthier variety, I feel like. Mostly goes for organic choices, and is pretty well-learned in knowing which fruits, veggies and fish are the freshest and which are the closest to spoiling.

Tbh grocery shopping with Kazuha is so ?? Chill? Like, little to no stress, swear.

It’s just very easy and relaxing, walking through the aisles at a leisurely pace and plucking stuff off of shelves. You two talk about whatever you want as you walk, or sometimes you sing along to the music that plays from the speakers.

If something is too tall for either of you two to reach there’s no problem!! Kazuha can jump pretty damn high so he can reach the tip-top shelf easy peasy ♡

I feel like Kazuha also has a secret sweet tooth? Nothing too wild, but you’d catch him eyeing a pack of marshmallows every now and then, or staring a little too long at a tub of ice cream.

If you seamlessly pluck up whatever sweet he’s debating on getting and put it into the cart, he’ll literally light up and give you a sweet smooch on ur nose :((

⠀「 XIAO*ೃ༄ 」

To his credit !! He’s pretty damn decent as a grocery buddy. 

Xiao’s a little introverted, typically choosing not to be around other people for very long periods of time, so him actually volunteering to come with you nearly moved you to tears.

He also pushes the cart from you and keeps track of your grocery list, crossing stuff out for you without you even having to tell him.

Xiao doesn’t talk much, which isn’t very out of the ordinary, but he does give some helpful suggestions when you’re indecisive about something. And he’s very pragmatic and straightforward when he helps you make your decisions, too, so it’s very time-efficient having him with u ♡

He barely asks for anything that isn’t on the list tbh? I dunno, I guess he just doesn’t feel the need to. Not to mention, he’s not particularly picky when it comes to his meals either, so he’s content to sit back and let you take the reins for restocking the fridge. 

If his eyes sparkle a little when he sees you picking up ingredients for almond tofu, you choose not to tease him about it.

Definitely the one to try and bring all the grocery bags to the car in one go. And??? He somehow manages it to ??? You have no idea how, or how the guys somehow managed to hold your hand while also toting all those grocery bags but ?? Hey, you’re not complaining. 

⠀「 THOMA*ೃ༄ 」

I shit you not Thoma is the best person to go shopping with. Hands down.

Thoma doesn’t go to the supermarket for his groceries, actually. Or at least not all of them. For some stuff that have to be imported or that are a bit harder to come by locally, he goes to the groceries and such.

However, when it comes too food shopping, his first stop are the farmers markets!

He’s already a regular at the local farmer’s market. Old grannies love to pinch his cheeks whenever they see him and they always coo over you two being an adorable couple.

Thoma leads you by the hand all around the farmer’s market the entire time you’re out, knowing which stall to go to for the freshest produce and the most decent price. 

Knows how to bargain with the locals without being disrespectful! And he always manages to net really good discounts. If you ask him how he does it, he’ll wink and tell you that it’s just his charm. And you can’t fully disagree.

Definitely brings around his own eco-bags, too. He’s used to carrying all the groceries on his own, but if you offer to help he’ll thank you with a kiss and a smile.

At one point while you two separate to cover more ground, he passes by a stall ran by an old couple and their grandkid that sells flowers. He gets you a bouquet— nothing too big that’s hard to carry around, but something small and cute that you can press between your books and display.

When you reunite and he gives you the gift, he looks so goddamn precious holding out the flowers to you with his smile that u just wanna give him a kiss ♡

⠀「 AYATO*ೃ༄ 」

If Thoma is a god-send to be with when grocery shopping, Ayato is… nicely put, the exact opposite.

Listen I don’t blame the man. He’s rich enough that he’s never really had to do his own groceries before, so he’s a bit out of his element when he accompanies you to do it one day, but it’s still cute that he cleared a part of his busy schedule to help you out with this. He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit (and a pretty face, which helps.)

Motherfucker picks up some incredibly overpriced caviar, looks at the price tag ( $95 !!! For 30 grams what the fuck !!! ) nods to himself like he remembers you having that shit on your grocery list (you do not) and would have plunked it into your cart if you didn’t catch him in time.

He reasons that he’s tried this brand before and that it’s a very delicious-tasting one that you should try yourself, and his reasons are honestly pretty sweet, but it doesn’t change the fact that you don’t need the goddamn caviar. When you try to tell him that you don’t have the budget for it, he offers to get it for you which, again sweet and it makes you want to kiss him, but that’s not the point Ayato !!

Aside from his ignorance inexperience with how much a typical grocery run costs, there’s also the fact that this guy can’t cook for shit. As a result, if he’s not tossing rich person food into your cart, he’s placing shit that should under no circumstances be mixed together in the cart, claiming that he thinks the combination sounds nice to consume.

Ayato, dearest, I love you, but what the fuck is a Cheeto mango shiitake salad ?????? 

⠀「 ALHAITHAM*ೃ༄ 」

The mf who makes a detailed shopping list, complete with the specific brand of the item you’re looking for, the exact amount, the exact price for said amount plus quantity, and then several alternate brands if the one he was aiming for sells out. All of these are entirely researched before hand.

Well, he either does that, or he goes for he most outrageous expensive shit you’ve every seen.

And no half of the time he doesn’t even throw in the $60 per kilogram cheese because he likes it— he does it because he kinda enjoys pissing off a certain blond architect who invites himself over to sleep on your couch rather often.

It’s usually up to you to cross your arms and stare Alhaitham down, quietly judging him for a petty bitch while he crosses his own arms and stares back at you, one eyebrow raised in the way that makes you not sure if you want to punch him or kiss him.

Sometimes you win and with a sigh, your boyfriend quietly turns and goes off to acquire the next item on his incredibly detailed list, leaving you to put his purchase back as you victoriously fist pump to yourself.

Other times, he wins and you throw your arms up, rolling your eyes so hard as you try not to look at his smirk for fear of actually punching him (or, you know, kissing him and flagrantly having public displays of affection.)

Fine! You say to him with a huff that’s not actually angry. Keep your goddamn parmigiano reggiano. 

You can never feel huffy about it for long, though— not when you find an extra tub of your favorite ice cream later as you put the groceries away. 

[thought--bubble]

Like A Dream

Tom Bennett X (Pregnant Wife Reader)

Warnings Below

Word Count: 1,954

Tom Bennett Masterlist

Full Masterlist

Based on THIS request

Banners by @arcielee

A/N: Writing this came so naturally to me. I had my daughter young and was looking my best right before I got pregnant, so I used personal experience for this one 🥰 also I did an abnormal amount of research regarding the rarity of grapes during this time period and how special it would be for someone to find them available for purchase 🤣🤣

Warnings:: Body Dysmorphia, pregnancy, minor depression,smut, oral sex (F receiving)

"You alright love?" Your husband asks from his place on the sofa as you walk through the front door.

You sigh. "Yes, Tom," you carry the few bags with food you picked up from the market and place them on the kitchen counter.

Ever since Tom found out you were pregnant, he fawns over you. He hates the idea of you lifting a finger in your delicate condition. The problem? You are a very independent person and like your freedom.

"Not too convincing." he rises from the couch and goes to the counter, peeking through the bags to see what you bought.

"Mmmm, they had grapes!" He plucks a grape off the vine and pops it into his mouth.

"Tom!" You playfully hit his arm."They should be washed first! You don't know who had their hands all over em before I bought em!"

"I survived war, love." He leans his back against the counter. "Don't think a grape is gonna do me in when bombs couldn't"

"Yeah, well, they can still make ya sick, and I'm already sick every morning. Can't have the two of us going. " You huff and sit down in one of the old creaky wooden chairs that sit around the scuffed up second-hand table you successfully purchased off a neighbor about a year ago.

"Hey...." He leans down towards you and pushes your hair back. "You're tired and stressed, darlin. Let me take care of this, yeah?"

"I can do it." You grumble, annoyed, and try to pull yourself from the seat, but your near end of term pregnancy belly made standing an incredibly challenging endeavor.

Tom gives you a stern look. "More stubborn than I am." He gives you that cheeky smile, and you playfully roll your eyes.

"That's not possible" Tom is the most stubborn person on the planet as far as you were concerned and you know for a fact that even on your worst day you couldn't possibly be more stubborn than the man you married.

"Ah! I always knew ya married me for my looks." He wiggles his eyebrows at you as he unloads the groceries.

"What can I say? You got me with those blue eyes, and that smile." You look at him lovingly. You married him for a million reasons. He had pursued you relentlessly for weeks before you finally caved and went out with him. You didn't have any reason you made him wait other than thoroughly enjoying watching him try to convince you of something you already wanted desperately.

"Thank God for my parents! They gave me the good stuff!" He chuckles loudly, and you watch him in awe. Tom had this aura about him. He exudes confidence. Tom is handsome. He knows it, and he embraces it. You hardly ever see him without a smile on his face, and he takes almost nothing seriously.

You sigh to yourself as you move to try and pull yourself out of the chair again. Pregnancy is a magical thing. You know this. You feel it, yet you can't help the way it has you feeling about the body it leaves behind.

Your face is fuller. Something people have been complimenting you on, yet you hate it. Your hips are wider, and your already plump thighs have somehow grown bigger.

The discomfort with the changes in your body started gradually, but as you near the end of your pregnancy, less and less do you like what stares back at you in the mirror.

The tears start to well up in your eyes as you fight a losing battle to hold them back.

"Hey..hey! What is going on, love?" Tom crouches before you cupping your cheeks on either side of your face. He furrows his brows in obvious concern. "Talk to me," he gently rubs his thumb against your cheekbone. His heart breaks a little as he looks into your tear filled eyes. Upset with himself that you are this sad, and he didn't notice until now.

You take in a shakey breath and look at him with despair. "I'm a terrible mum, and the baby isn't even here yet." The flood gates break open, and tears finally start to pour down your face.

"W-why... why would you say that?" He scootches closer to you, placing his hands on either side of your thighs and rubbing his hands up and down.

"I should be happy! A good mother would be happy, but..." The tears are pouring out of your face now, the sadness, guilt, and shame bubbling over and making you feel like you have lost complete control over your emotional state.

"But what, sweetheart?" He drops down to his knees, pushing himself between your legs while he continues to caress your thighs. "You can talk to me, oh darlin, please talk to me."

"I ... I ... I ... I hate it!" You start to sob your face in your hands. "I'm tired, everything aches, it's difficult to move, and all that would be bearable if .... if i didn't look so disgusting now"

"Disgusting??" Tom balks at the statement. "Someone say something to you?" His face contorts in anger. "Was that Mike arse three doors down, wasn't it?" Tom nearly growls. "That's about how much he hates me nothing to do with you, darlin. I'll go sort him." Tom shoots up quickly, tossing on his jacket.

"TOM!" You screech just as he is about to fly out the front door, most likely to rearrange Mike's face. Mike and Tom do not like each other it is certainly not a secret in your neighborhood. Yet Mike has never been anything but pleasant to you. After all, his issue was with Tom, and he wasn't going to take that out on you for simply being Tom's wife.

"No one said anything to me, I have eyes! And a mirror! I can see it clearly for myself!" His heart shatters completely when he hears the crack in your voice, his jaw drops, and he wants to retort but quickly stops himself. The priority is you. He needs to take care of you, so as aggravated as he is, he softens his features and turns back to you.

He drops his jacket on the back of one of the other kitchen chairs and takes your hand. "Let's get you into bed, you need rest" You sniffle and nod as he places your hand in his, while gently holding your lower back with the other making sure to get you out of the chair in the most comfortable way possible.

Once you're up and walking, he wraps an arm around you, gently leading you up the stairs and into the bedroom . He helps you get into the bed, raising your legs and sliding them in before crawling in next to you, his face directly across from yours as you both lay on your side facing each other.

"Thank you," your whisper is gentle with a hint of lingering sadness as he reaches over and caresses right under your eye with his thumb.

"You. are. beautiful." He moves closer to you and puts his forehead against yours "Always".

You chuckle slightly. "You are a good husband, Tom Bennett." You lean forward and kiss him gently.

He pulls back from you, cupping your face in his hands. "Look at me"

You look him directly in the eyes. Yours are still a bit watery, so you try to blink back the tears.

"You. are. beautiful." He repeats."You are always beautiful, don't you ever forget that. Big, pregnant, bald even, you are always beautiful"

You giggle and sigh. "You're too good to me"

"Aven't been good enough love. Or you wouldn't feel like this. " He kisses you softly but deeply while gently rolling you onto your back.

"Been neglectin' ya. Work and allat." He kisses down your neck."I'll make it up."

You hum contentedly and place your hand on the back of his head. Arousal builds up in your core, but you're so tired you don't know if you have it in you right now.

"Don't know if I have the energy for this right now." You chuckle as you close your eyes, just enjoying the feeling of him on your neck.

"Just lie back and relax. This is all about you"

He moves down your body, placing a delicate kiss to your belly before pushing your dress up around your hips.

"Oh Tom, you don't have to do this." You say as he pulls your knickers down your legs.

" I wish I did have to do it. Wish it was an everyday requirement, but I guess I have to settle for doing it when you'll let me. " He brings his hands to your heat, pushing your legs out wider.

"Stunning site, really,"

"Tom!" You chuckle and reach down to give him a whack, but he catches your hand and holds it.

He licks a stripe straight up your center. Your hand squeezes his tight, letting him know the pleasure that is building up.

He gently flicks your bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue, bringing his free hand to your hip and rubbing circles there with his thumb.

You involuntarily move your hips, desperate for more friction. "You're supposed to be relaxin," he taunts

He returns to your clit swallowing it whole and sucking on it harshly while rolling his tongue over it.

"Oh god, Tom!" You can't help but yell out, your hips taking on a mind of their own as you move against his face.

He smiles against you as he releases your clit nudging it with his nose as he travels lower lapping up your juices before sticking his tongue inside.

Your eyes fly open as you look at the ceiling above you, panting harshly. If someone asked you your name right now, you wouldn't even know the answer. Your head is completely empty of everything, save for the pleasure you are experiencing.

His brings his hand off your hip, the other still grasping your hand tightly. He rubs at your clit with his thumb as he fucks you with his tongue.

"Ahhh. Ahh!" You squeeze his hand tightly as you writhe against his face, getting closer and closer to sweet release.

His hand and tongue switch places as he slides two fingers into you while sucking on your engorged nerve.

"Oh my god, Tom, I can't. I can't!" You don't know what you can't do. You just know that you can't.

He pulls back momentarily. " Oh yes, you can love, and ya will"

He brings his face back to your heat moving it from side to side over your clit while he increases the speed of his fingers.

Everything that happens now is automatic. Your legs lift up and squeeze his head as you arch your back and gasp for air as a title wave of pleasure washes over you.

Tom gives you a few more kitten licks as you ride out your high and stops when you start to twitch.

he crawls back up next to you and flops on his back, panting. "You're. .....beautiful.... don't.... ever... doubt .... that" he rolls onto his side and gazes at your face. "Promise me"

"I promise I'll try Tom." He knows that is the best answer he is going to get out of you so he just smiles.

"While we're talking about promises, I need you to make just one more tiny promise," he grins at you cheekily, sliding his body over so he is right up against yours.

"What?"

He takes your hand and places it over the massive bulge in his trousers

"That you'll help me with this"

To be added to taglist click here

[sirianasims]

Chapter 44.1

Girls on Millionaires

“Samara, this is hopeless.”

“It’s been five minutes, Julia, we’ve barely started!”

“But how am I supposed to find anything in here? They should have thrift shops online, I just want to grab what I need and get on with my life.”

Samara shakes her head. “You’re thinking about it all wrong, this is not shopping. Thrifting is more like a treasure hunt, you never know what you’re going to find.”

She moves between the chaotic piles with the practiced air of someone who’s done this a thousand times before. Her hands are constantly busy, picking up items, examining them, and occasionally letting out a small laugh or shaking her head as she puts them back.

I trail behind her, aimlessly running my hands over stacks of old sweaters and linens, feeling out of place. The whole rebrand is starting to stress me out. My money is dwindling faster than I expected, and I only have so long to get the channel up and running again before I’ll be forced to make that dreaded phone call and ask my parents for help. It would feel like admitting defeat.

My spare room looks empty and forlorn without my sewing machine and fabrics, and I was hoping to find something that would help me get the new aesthetic right without breaking the bank, even if I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for.

Instead, I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of other people’s memories, and none of them fit the person I’m trying to become.

I’m about to give up when Samara calls out, a triumphant grin spreading across her face.

“Julia, come check this out.”

She waves me over to a large, white mirror, tucked away in a corner by some broken chairs and unused exercise equipment.

I walk over to it and run my fingers along the curved frame. It’s smooth, no dents or scratches. There’s even a useful shelf on the bottom, and I can already picture it in my new recording setup, framing the scene just right.

“This is perfect, Samara! There’s no price tag on it, do you think they’ll sell it?” I gesture at the girl at the register. She hasn’t looked up from her phone since we got here.

“They’d sell the roof if it didn’t keep the rain out, let’s go make a deal.”

The Rooftop

The music pulses through my body, a steady beat that seems to resonate in my bones and push away any lingering traces of worry. The Rooftop is packed tonight, but I don’t mind the crowd. The energy is electric, the kind that makes you feel alive, feel like anything is possible.

I’m tipsy – more than tipsy, actually – and it feels good. Samara and I managed to get my new mirror home safely, and for the rest of tonight, all thoughts about the rebrand and the money situation are far away, drowned out by the bass and the chemical smell from the smoke machines.

I throw my hands up, twirling in place as the DJ transitions into a song with a heavier beat. The floor beneath my feet feels like it’s vibrating, and I can’t stop smiling, can’t stop moving. I’m probably grinning like an idiot but I don’t even care. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, who I’m supposed to be.

Samara and Miranda are dancing next to me, and I close my eyes, letting the rhythm take over. All the tension I’ve carried melts away. I know I’ll have to face reality again tomorrow, finish setting up my recording equipment and sort out a new posting schedule, but tomorrow is a million miles away.

Miranda leans in close, trying to get my attention. “Let’s grab a table,” she says, and I feel like I can see the vibration of her words through the air more than I hear them. “I need a break.”

“Yeah, good idea, my feet are killing me.”

I slide onto the seat, relieved to get off the unforgiving steel floor, as Miranda puts a drink in front of me. The glass is cool in my hand, condensation dripping down my fingers as I take a sip. The strong taste of alcohol is barely masked by the fruits and sugar. Miranda always gets the good stuff, all the bartenders know she tips well.

I gently peel off my shoes and rest my bare feet on the cold, smooth metal bars of the stool.

“Miranda, seriously, how do you handle wearing heels every single day? I’m so sore.”

Miranda grins.

“You get used to it after a while, really. It’s all about practice and a little bit of masochism,” she says with a laugh. “And then there’s the stubbornness, I didn’t spend all that money on shoes just to keep them on a shelf – speaking of, since when can you afford Diego Lobos?”

I glance down at my shoes. “They were a gift from Paul, for New Year’s Eve. I just haven’t worn them since we broke up. He joked that they were mostly a gift for himself, actually. So he wouldn’t have to bend down as far to kiss me.”

And because he liked it when I wore them to bed. The memory stings a little, but it’s not as bad as it used to be, the wound of the heartbreak has finally scabbed over and the pain is less raw each time I think of him.

Samara giggles tipsily. “I mean, they look nicer than using a stepladder, that’s for sure.”

“Maybe that’s why he dumped me, I was bad for his back. I should find a shorter boyfriend next time.”

“Yeah? How tall is Marten?”

“That’s not – we’re not dating, Miranda!”

Miranda clicks her tongue. “Girl, I hate to break it to you, but he did take you on a date.”

“It wasn’t a date, we just hung out! We got home, played games, ordered takeout. He slept on the couch, and then he took the train back to campus. He didn’t try to flirt or hit on me in any way.”

“Sounds fake,” Samara says. “I still think he’s up to something.”

“Or maybe he’s just not into me, it’s not a crime. He can have friends and not want to date them, you know.”

Thankfully, they drop the subject and move on to something else. I don’t like admitting it, but Marten’s lack of interest bothers me. It’s not even that I want him, but I’m used to most guys wanting me, and my ego is frankly a little bruised. Marten is always so sweet and attentive, but that’s it.

I can’t help but find it strange that he spends so much time with me if he doesn’t like me like that. Am I really just so arrogant that I can’t imagine a guy who doesn’t want me? Or maybe I’m just obsessing over it because Paul didn’t want me either. At least not enough to give me more time. I push away the thought violently.

As I take another sip of my drink, my eyes wander towards the bar. The Rooftop’s head bartender, Shane, is quite pretty, all perfect hair and strong jawline – and not that tall. I catch myself staring a little too long, and then I remember that he asked Miranda about me. A flutter stirs in my stomach.

The truth is that I miss being wanted, being touched. I miss kissing and cuddling and holding hands, but most of all I miss sex, the sweaty, dirty, crazy kind that leaves you breathless on crumpled sheets at sunrise.

“Julia, are you even listening?”

“I think we lost her, Mir, she’s busy eye-fucking the bartender.”

“Good to know she’s healed enough to look at other men at last.”

I feel my cheeks get hot. “Sorry, I was just thinking, uh, isn’t that the bartender who asked about me?” I try to sound casual but Miranda isn’t fooled for a second.

She chuckles knowingly. “Oh, yeah, that’s him. Just a heads up, though, Shane is a total fuckboy, he doesn’t do relationships.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Who said anything about relationships?”

Miranda shrugs, her eyes still sparkling with amusement. “As long as you know what you’re getting into, babe. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you, you don’t need more heartbreak.”

“Come on, Julia, you can do so much better. Just wait, before you know it, some prince is going to come riding in on a white horse and sweep you away.”

“Samara, I’d be happy with a duke on a rusty bike at this point. A girl has needs, you know – and my vibrator doesn’t cuddle.”

We laugh it off, but I have to admit that I feel extremely tempted by the thought of seeing where this might go.

Images flash through my mind of maybe, possibly, staying a little after closing time and getting to know Shane the bartender better. Maybe he could help me remember that Paul isn’t the last man on earth, and that even if Marten doesn’t want me either, someone else will.

My pocket vibrates, tearing me away from my fantasy. I look at my phone, slightly flustered. As if summoned by my thoughts, it’s Marten, asking if we’re going to play tonight. I fire back a quick text about being out with the girls and he answers immediately.

“No worries! Have fun and make good choices, okay?”

Good choices? What is he, my dad?

Still, his words stick with me, making me feel a little guilty for some reason.

I glance back at Shane, who’s now mixing a drink with the kind of smooth confidence that makes it clear that he knows exactly how hot he is. If he’s as bad as his reputation, he probably wouldn’t mind being someone’s rebound, but would I regret it?

I followed Paul back to his hotel even though I barely knew him. Am I just the kind of girl who hooks up with any hot guy on a whim? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but Marten has a talent for making me second-guess myself.

If I’m being brutally honest, as hot as it sounds, getting railed on a bar after closing would probably not count as a good choice in anyone’s book.

But still…

A girl can dream.

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[blooming-violets]

I'm .always here to push the "Peter with a teacher" agenda

I mean...same. First grade teacher will always win over Peter's heart.

Omg the beginning of the school year is his favorite. He loves helping her set up her classroom. He's up late organizing and prepping all her stuff. He's a beast with those scissors. Cutting out everything and laminating all the papers. Carries in all the boxes for her. Helps moves the desks and cleans and decorates everything with her. This man is covered in tape and sweat by the end of it but she has the cutest classroom out of everyone.

Is always trying to visit whenever he can. Always wants to read to the kids. Is the first to volunteer if the school needs people.

Why could I see him getting a job as the elementary school gym teacher though...?? Like imagine him pulling out the giant parachute and all the kids go wild. He knows how to get them moving and active without making it feel like a chore.

Sends her heart balloons and flowers to her classroom on Valentine's Day because he knows the kids will make fun of her all day long. "Oooooh, Mr. Parker got you flowers! I bet they kiss each other!"

Peter is the best at massages because her days are long and stressful. When she gets home, he knows how to treat her right. Has dinner cooked, all the cuddly blankets on the couch, their fav show up and ready.

Their sex is soft and sweet. The very definition of "making love". He likes to be on top so he can look into her eyes and hold her in his arms and keep her safe.

[saintkunii]

....OCTOBER 29

Kaedehara kazuha and the tenderness of his soul reflected in his affectionate gestures that you've only recently grown to notice.

It's the tiniest bit of actions really, when he offers help carrying your groceries up your apartment, when he pries a bottle out of your grasp to twist the cap open, when he takes the curb side when walking down the sidewalk, something that you've chalked up to his good nature as it has always been for him.

You chalked it all up to him being merely kind to you like he is to everyone else.

However, the intensity of it all begins to change a few weeks ago, when he wrapped his fingers with your hand and held it affectionately that he simply grinned widely at your flustered reaction. You didn't take your hand away nor did you say anything about it that he took it as an assent from you. He even squeezed it a little bit more, swayed it back and forth, caressed his thumb against yours. A little too intimate if you say so yourself.

Your correspondence with Kazuha has also gotten a bit more frequent that he's becomes the first person to greet you a good morning and the last to tell you good night.

Sleep well, dove. I will see you in your dreams. As he would often say. With a little heart attached at the end that you swear made your stomach flutter.

It's confusing.

You like it. Yet you're also wary since you're also aware that your relationship has never crossed beyond that of friends.

He can't be doing this just to anyone now does he? He's always been kind and yet so polite towards others

Were you even that special to begin with? For him to approach you with such familiarity you're unsure how to react.

So you decided to confront him with his actions, arriving at the nearby park where you'd agreed to meet with an awkward gaze.

He's smiling so softly that you're embarrassed of what you're about to ask him.

"Why?" He's confused. As so do you.

But you did not want to prolong it anymore. You need to get to the bottom of it all. As much as you like his attention and all the affections his showering you, you do not wish to confuse it for something more in fear that it would lead you to more heartbreak.

"You don't like it then? When I hold your hand?"

"It's not like that. It's uhh..." You try to think of a more appropriate word without sounding too harsh. "A little too close...?"

You're fidgeting with your hands and Kazuha, the perceptive and always attuned with his surroundings that he is, notice the discomfort.

You begin to recount all the things he has done for you that you think are too intimate for friends to do. Those actions were reserved towards a partner.

Kazuha listens with an attentive ear, eyebrows creased with worry that he might have overstepped your boundaries. You reassure him that you're not mad and he seems to lighten up a little.

He rubs his neck in a sorry manner.

"My apologies. I didn't really thought about it. Then, I'll be more mindful next time, dove."

Next time? There's a next time?

You could only nod your head.

"If there's nothing more..." Kazuha moves and takes out his phone, browsing. "Come, I saw this place I think you might enjoy."

"Wait-"

"I see the stress in your eyes, dove. We can perhaps take a moment to relax at this cafe."

"I mean, we're not dating-"

"Not... dating?"

"-there's no reason for you to do all these stuffs."

He looked dumbfounded. You're beginning to feel the guilt eating you away.

To see him this forlorn over your words, you're also starting to wonder if there was something.

"Hold on. Go back."

"What?"

"Can you repeat what you just said."

"That there's no reason for you to do all these stuffs?"

"No before that."

"We're not dating?"

"Can you remember what happened last October 28? When we went out drinking that Saturday night?"

October 28?

You try to rack your brain with any memories but you passed out drunk...

The last thing you remembered was Kazuha looking after you as you got some air to sober up but you eventually blacked out.

Sensing even more confusion on your part, Kazuha sinks into his hands in what you assumed as shame, and your cheeks warmed even more.

"All this time, I've been acting all close to you and it might have been confusing since you couldn't remember..." He mumbles. "I- It must have been really uncomfortable to you. I apologize."

"So when you asked why I kept holding your hand... I should have known."

Kazuha gazes up to you in remorse and embarrassment that his whole face was tainted in red.

"That night. When it was just the two of us..." He shyly gazes from under his lashes with a little pout on his lips "You asked me out when you sung me a happy birthday and then I said yes."

"It hurts a little that you couldn't remember. But that's fine. You still like me, right? I can trust that what your drunk self said was real?"

Your mouth hangs into an 'o' shape and your eyes turned wide.

"I did?"

Kazuha nods. Your boyfriend.

"Oh."

Blood rushed to your cheeks.

"And you like me too?" You ask.

He nods again with a smile this time as he mirrors the flustered look on your face.

"I love you."

The sound of your name on his lips as he says the word you've wanted to hear the most sounds so heavenly on your ears.

[corruptedfilessys]

DISCLAIMER

This is simply an awareness post!! If you still wanna support c0stiffen or whatnot, that's fine, and I'll try my best to respect that. I simply wanna share my experiences with them and a few of their friends.

If you're an adult, you can move over to a document that I have made that includes all important information WITH screenshots and evidence.

ADULTS ONLY

If you're a minor, this post is a quick run down of what's in the document without showing anything inappropriate.

Simply explained, c0stiffen and I exchanged NSFW art and conversations whilst they were an adult, and I was 16 (and then newly 17). These include art clearly depicting sexual acts with genitals that we both drew. The ones they drew and 2 of mine were specifically of their Giarven AU (in this AU, they're supposed to be adults!)

Due to the sensitivity of this subject, I can't show proof of this here. Everything is in the document for ADULTS.

This is not to point all the fingers at c0stiffen. I did a lot of dumb stuff throughout the situation too, I should have been more responsible. Not only have other ppl (mostly minors) seen my nsfw art, many went on to do the same. One even made a whole NSFW server full of minors (c0stiffen wasn't a part of it, I don't think there were any adults there.) I feel disgusted with myself, I wish I never did this to begin with. I can't help but despise myself. I should have just left at that moment and I'm sorry.

This is not a guilt trip, I'm afraid it'll come off as that, unfortunately.

What I can show is proof of them purposefully deleting these drawings, as currently, there's only one left. That one I believe they forgot to delete as it's isolated from every other art.

I should point out that I don't usually draw NSFW. Those pictured were some of my last ones, I made a few others around the same time and that was it. I drew 2 pieces of NSFW before this entire situation for myself only as I struggle with sexual trauma and I use it to cope. I never intended on making so many and I shouldn't have done that as a minor. Truth be told, it made me feel seen and special. Every piece got me so much attention and I didn't want it to end, it felt nice.

Something I can share as it's not sexually driven are situations where C0stiffen hurt me, knew they hurt me and still refused to apologise.

Situation 1

When I was still talking to c0stiffen, I remember them getting pretty carried away with their opinions on things. At that point it felt like it was their life goal to insult my comfort character. For context, my comfort character is Sada and over the months she just became more and more special to me, often being my only source of comfort. I won't delve into this too much, in short, I think she's misunderstood, she is extremely flawed but not evil.

C0stiffen made it pretty apparent that they hated her and never failed to remind me. In each of costiffen's AUs Arven canonically despised his mother, they even made up a lie how Sada ‘intentionally starved Arven’ and that it's confirmed to be canon. Many role plays we did of them generally stressed me out, but that's my fault for not speaking out. I inserted my version of Sada into one of heir AUs (Arven is a Prince, Sada is a queen, etc), they even made art of her

C0stiffen proceeded to mischaracterize her and make her into a bad mother again. Saying she's a bad mother for leaving her kids when literally the lore was she was about to be killed and had to flee, but I digress.

I approached c0stiffen about this as I was genuinely getting hurt, and I wanted to talk to them:

They were nice about it, I'm not saying they weren't. But not once did I get a single apology for them simply lying about her and freely hating her in front of me as if I'm not bothered by that. Also I genuinely believed my Sada was supposed to be the ‘canon’ version, I was never informed she wasn't, I don't know whether this is a lie or the truth. Take it with a grain of salt.

I'm not saying c0stiffen has to love or even like Sada, I don't care if they hate her, I wanted them to keep it to themselves and not share that hatred in spaces where I was and felt safe in. Those servers in particular were the ones I was most active in at that time. C0stiffen’s Sada and Turo are mostly based on their own parents from what they said, which is fine, but again, I don't wanna be around that.

It isn't overreacting if I'm simply stating my boundaries. And I think I deserve an apology for having my feelings ignored like this.

I'm gonna make a response to something c0stiffen said at one time. Apparently I was ‘angry’ when they said “Giacomo's mom > Sada”

Simply said, I wasn't angry, I was more hurt than angry and they have no right to shame me for that. I was simply hurt because of all the other things that were stacked onto it.

Maybe I was jealous, I just really wanted MY VERSION of Sada, who feels like an oc I had for years, to be loved like every other character. But just because of the stupid canon story, she can't. I tried so hard, I bent over backwards to get them to love at least my version of her. I'm sure if I gave the same exact story to a completely original oc instead, even them would be treated better than this.

I don't need c0 to like Sada, but I feel like they're blinded by the canon to just notice mine is different. They hate Sada so much they can't put that hate away for even an AU version that helped their friend feel loved and safe and that's what hurts so much. They treat her like the canon one and they treat that one like shit already. They need to accept the fact that they can't just dump on someone's comfort character and expect the person to not be upset. No matter how much I'll hate a character I won't make up petty lies about them to make them appear worse especially in front of someone who really likes said character, even worse if said person relates to the character. It's gonna make them feel incredibly shitty about themselves.

Apologies for the heated section.

Situation 2

During the end of July me and a friend got into a petty fight about a headcanon and I ended up leaving the server we were in to cool off. I have problems with my emotions and it's impossible to regulate them sometimes, I feel them physically, whenever I'm upset I feel genuine pain and I can't calm down. To deal with this I learned a flight strategy of just fleeing the situation to calm down and fixing stuff when I'm more grounded. I was hoping people understood that, even if they wouldn't, I was perfectly fine explaining it once I was feeling better.

The next day when I felt better, I planned on apologizing and explaining why I acted the way I did.

Long story short, multiple people cut contact with me, many people I trusted and called friends, no one wanted to hear my side of the story, everyone heard out Paltic (now former friend) who spread false rumors around me and screenshots that were taken out of context. Such as that I was a creep for sending NSFW to minors as if others weren't doing the exact same thing and I in particular was being influenced by an adult. Paltic is C0stiffen’s friend. I was struggling a lot mentally and even had a failed suicide attempt, I was easily irritated and exploded at people a lot.

When Paltic posted a “call out” post on me that was filled with what I said, things when taken out of context make me look like a bad person, etc. He called me awful for things his friends did too, but didn't call them out on it. He filled my partner with lies and that made them leave me, thinking I was a bad person. C0stiffen still failed to see how Paltic could be bad for doing this.

I made a response, which was pretty heated, I made an updated one later on. But that day C0stiffen dmed me that I should ‘stop’. That I was stressing them and everyone out, telling me that “they thought they were my friend” telling me how badly this is affecting them mentally as if I wasn't the one struggling the most in this situation. I was losing people I felt like I couldn't live without, there was a post about me that could potentially ruin my life when I did nothing wrong. I apologized for anything I genuinely did wrong.

I need to add something onto this

C0stiffen/Paltic like to use this moment to say I was comparing our traumas/using traumas against them, I wasn't doing that and in fact it was never on my mind to begin with. I brought up something that happened to them a while ago hoping it would help them see how I was feeling as the situations were similar. I wasn't thinking clearly at that time, but that's no excuse and I shouldn't have done that.

I apologized to them multiple times, at first I didn't want to as that's something they never did to me, but I wanted to do the right thing.

I wanna point out, I'm in no way saying I'm the greatest friend or person. I'm far from that, I am flawed, I do bad stuff, I hurt people (unintentionally). I have a lot of things to work on as someone whose mental health problems impact everything in their life such as behavior.

But I'm not a bad person, never did I truly had horrible intentions and wanted to hurt somebody just for the sake of simply hurting somebody. I explode, I say things I'm not proud of when I'm provoked, but nothing of those I would actually say if I was just given the chance to calm down and deal with it calmly.

It's hard to have a friend like me simply because of how much care I need, and I'm sorry for that. I'm never gonna force someone to be my friend, but I want to end on good terms. I don't see the point in treating a mentally ill person like a bad person simply because they happen to be ill and for no better reason otherwise. There's better ways to go about this than make the person feel like worthless trash. I wanna be told if I do something bad, I'm so used to my symptoms that there's times when I genuinely don't notice that I could be doing something wrong. I wanna take accountability for my own mental illness, but I'm not being given a chance to do that calmly. I am forced to admit I'm a bad person whilst everyone else are angels even though they're far from being innocent.

I don't wanna be treated like a bad person simply for experiencing symptoms I can't control or being influenced by a third party. As friends I hoped they would help me grow and deal with these things.

If they don't wanna do that, they should have calmly ended the friendship, not that they spread false rumors of me, make people hate me, and then treat me like I don't exist as if that's not gonna make me feel like I don't deserve to be fucking alive.

Conclusion

I wholeheartedly believe c0stiffen or their friends are gonna contact me in their defence. To that, I say, get the hell away from me. You aren't innocent, stop acting like it and take the fucking fault for once. I didn't start any of this.

My DMs are closed to trusted friends only for my safety. Please respect that.

[wambsgansshoelaces]

blurb 7 of blurb night!!!

Steve and Peggy

Tom Wambsgans x Reader

prompt: “dancing with Tom 🥰”

eeeee again I’m sorry I’m so slow with the uploads!!! I promise they’re all coming don’t worry <33 thank you so much for being patient, and thank you anon for requesting!! I love you and I hope you enjoy xxx

Word Count: 688

“Hi, honey.”

Tom’s voice is dripping with affection, with pure love for you. He comes over to where you’re sitting, stooping over to give you a lengthy, sweet kiss hello. Your fingers trail down his arm as he pulls away, turning to put his stuff down.

“How was work?” you ask as you do every day, watching as he shrugs off his blazer.

“Tiring,” he admits. “Maybe it’s time I took a break.”

You hum in agreement. “You should take it easy for the next couple weeks, Tom.” As you speak, he wanders back over to you, kneeling next to your chair. He gazes up at you lovingly, his expression nothing but reverent.

You reach out to touch his face, and he immediately leans into your touch. Your thumb strokes over his eyebrow before your palm moves to cup his cheek. “Are you alright?” he asks quietly.

You lean towards him and plant a kiss onto his forehead. “I’m perfectly fine.” He gently pries your hand from your cheek and presses a sweet kiss to the palm of your hand before lacing his fingers with yours.

“Does anything hurt? Are you stressed? I hope you’re not exhausting yourself.” His expression never wavers, his features still knitted tightly together with affection. His thumb gently strokes over the divot of your palm, back and forth, Your heart warms as you gaze at him, his concern making you feel all warm and fluffy.

“I’m just tired, Tom.” You lean towards him again and catch his lips with yours for a long, tender kiss. “I just want the work week to end.”

He gets to his feet, his hand still holding yours, and pulls you up with him. You give a half-hearted protest, smiling up at him as he tugs you close to him.

“Come on. Let’s dance,” he urges softly.

“Dance?” you ask, laughter seeping into your voice.

He gets his phone out from his pocket, and without looking up from it, he kisses the back of your hand. “I have an entire playlist.” He presses play and drops his phone onto the chair you were just sitting on, his attention now solely on you.

“Isn’t this the song from Endgame?”

You can’t help the giggle that escapes you when his free hand goes to sit on your hip and he begins slowly whirling you around your living room. “It is,” he says simply. “We’re recreating the scene,” he says excitedly, eyes never leaving yours. He’s just so fucking in love with you. If you’d asked him to recreate the movie, he’d blow millions on it. Just to make you happy. Just to see that beautiful fucking smile of yours. The hand of yours not gripping his own is set on his chest.

You slow dance through the room with Tom, unable to wipe the smile from your face. He holds up your intertwined hands, encouraging you into a spin.

“You’re so gorgeous,” he murmurs once you’re back in his arms. His thumb strokes soothingly over the bone of your hip as you both sway. You just stare at each other, and you can feel the adoration rolling off of him in waves. You hope your gaze is as loving and tender as his is. As the music continues on, you fall more and more for him. He’s soft, gentle, kind. He’s everything you need, everything you’ll ever want again. He leans in and manages to kiss you, long and hard. “I love you.”

“I love you t-” You cut yourself off with a giddy yelp, his hands suddenly letting go of you and instead hooking his arm under your knees and hoisting you up bridal style. Your fingers scramble for purchase on his shirt, but you’re still grinning ear to ear.

He’s kissing into your hair as he Carrie’s you back to your shared bedroom. He gently sets you on the bed, making sure not to hurt you, and climbs on after you.

His hand goes to cup the back of your neck, his mouth following and lining kissing all up and down your throat.

You’ve never felt more loved.

[inconspicuousmaker]

Worm: A Parahuman Musical

Nobodies gonna see this but I don’t fuckin care I want to write about a Worm musical and so I am.

I have done 20 minutes of research (I typed in worm parahuman musical Reddit) and while people have already done amazing work, because duh, none of it quite fulfills what I want.

Specifically an actual makeable concept.

So no end of the world

No slaughterhouse 9

Heck probability not even leviathan.

2 and a half hours to fit the themes, plot beats, and messages of over 1 million wordsinto. So we gotta cut stuff.

Warning this is just me rambling and I didn’t even grammar check it.

My proposal is thus, and I’ll probably come up with more over the next few days, though I’d need to reread the first few arcs to truly do this justice.

The plot beats I would use (and I’m sure I’m missing good ones)

Open to Taylor in school per canon singing a solo called something like “I’m gonna be a hero tonight”. Have some cut ins with the trio, and have it fuel Taylor’s rage that she redirects into song furthering that she not gonna stoop to there level and go Carrie. She’s gonna do good.

Slowly transition to her walking around town in costume looking for a fight and have song end with Lung speaking.

Fight happens and we get to see her powers (light, sound, and good physical acting) and defeat lung

That’s all I have right now (because that’s all of canon I can keep straight without research) but I do then have some song ideas and endings

Originally I suggested using the bank as the finale or the end of first act with Leviathan finale. But as I got halfway through writing that I remembered Bakuda and had a better idea.

Bank is halfway.

Before that we get songs about the undersiders and Taylor’s growing friendship.

Her and Armsmaster at odds (exactly like the Wormilton one in placement)

One with her and Danny

Aswell as coil meet

I think cutting the trio is the time efficient move aswell as any Locker references.

Alternatively cut coil and add the trio but that then leaves other problems.

Maybe I’m overestimating time though and Trio could fit (I don’t think shadow stalker though)

Then bank heist which is a large ensemble peice (maybe cut Vicky and amy? Depends on time) and finish with undersiders escaping and making a name for herself.

Second act start in after action report at procterate interlude style. All the wards retelling (clock blocker bemoaning bugs is a must) and cut ins form armsmaster and Piggot. (A song from piggot something like “I hate this city” or “capes are crazy” would work well but alas, time is a harsh Mxstress)

We then get undersiders loft charcters bulding 

Bitch goes for a walk and Lisa pulls Taylor aside to tell about Dinah. 

They decide Coil needs to go down (song “spider and the fox”?) and then go look for Rachel.

Bakuda introduction and short fight (they lose badly but get away)

My ideas get a bit fuzzy here

But somehow Bakuda breaks lung out

And Taylor hatches a on the spot plan on the chaos that lures coil out and simultaneously defeats Bakuda and Lung. 

Include her having to blackmail Colin to help her as a nod to her having to force the “heroes” to do the right thing and have her rematch lung

Finally have her hand over all the villains she captured to the heroes at which point they offer her a chance to join them as a probationary ward.

She gets stressed her secrets revealed but Lisa double reveals that they knew all along and that they trust her.

She of course says fuck the heroes and the show ends with a song about how she’s gonna be a hero semi reprising the first with the added addition that she’s gonna be a hero as a villain (maybe “it takes a villain to be a hero”?

And of course that she has freinds now.

That’s all I got

Okay I lied

Here are some miscellaneous ideas that wouldn’t work in this version

Leviathan finnaly ibvoiuslt could be super fun

Have first act end in undersiders lair planning bank robbery and second start from wards perspective as they try to stop it

Rewriting the whole thing about Amy

leviathan puppet

any E88 stuff (which like. Does make stuff a bit iffy without them balancing out ABB)

Okay that’s actually it

Enjoy my incoherent ramblings empty void of the internet

[avengerscompound]

The Interview - Chapter 28

The Interview - A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Rating:  E

Warnings: smut (MF, vaginal sex, multiple orgasms)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Melody Danes

Word Count: 1968

Summary:  Melody Danes gets the break of a lifetime when as a lowly intern, she’s assigned to write a profile piece on Captain America.  Steve Rogers is a hard man not to fall for and as she and Melody get closer and Melody’s career takes off, jealousy leads to sabotage, and the potential to bring her whole world crashing down.

Chapter 28

Getting home took far too long, and then everyone wanted to catch up and find rooms, and all that other stuff you do with family when all the estranged members and new boyfriends showed up just before Christmas. All Melody wanted to do was take Steve back to her room and make up for lost time.  She’d been so wound up and stressed that all she wanted to do now was work out that stress.

At dinner, there was a lot of talk about what the plans are from here on out.  Melody didn’t have a concrete idea of what her plans were, but Steve seemed a little more certain.

“The legal team is putting pressure on the DB to post a retraction.  Despite his blustering, it looks like it will happen within the next week.  We’ve found out that Norah Winters has already been fired.  The police are investigating whether or not theft charges can be filed.  They need to find evidence that she actually stole the journal and without the journal that will be difficult.  Also, it’s hard to put a value on it, so it may not be worth it.  Regardless, we’ve started proceedings to have both her specifically and the DB charged with liable.  Melody, in particular, has an excellent case for that, because she no longer feels safe to work there, and thus her income and reputation has been severely hurt,” Steve explained over dinner.  “Of course, it would have been better if none of this happened, but we get the feeling that this was a case of jealousy on Norah’s behalf.  She’d been wanting to be the superhero reporter, but she’d alienated everyone.  Then Melody came along and we were all quite happy to talk to her.  It irked her and she wanted Mel out.”

“Well, it worked,” Melody said.

“It did, but she’s out of work now too,” Steve said.

It was a small comfort.  Melody’s whole reputation was ruined.  As far as the public was concerned, all the reasons they wanted to hate her because she dared to date Steve Rogers had now been confirmed.  It would be hard to have any kind of public online presence now without attracting hate.  Norah on the other hand might be vilified by some, but she’d have a huge audience of people wanting her to spill more dirt.

There was nothing more that could be done about that now, and it was not something Melody wanted clogging up her thoughts now that she had Steve here with her anyway.  She’d worried about her new career path after Christmas.

Finally, they were saying their goodnights.  She hugged Bobbi in the hallway, rocking side to side with her.  “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Yeah.  Me too,” she said.  Melody knew it had to be hard for Bobbi to be here too, so she wasn’t sure that she was completely happy to be here, which made the fact that she was happy enough to be with Melody even more special.  “Alright,” Bobbi said, patting her back. “Go get your man.  I can see how antsy you are.” 

Melody laughed as she pulled back. “Night,” she said.

“Good night,” Bobbi chuckled.

Melody stepped into the bedroom with Steve and kicked the door closed.  “Hello,” she said, looking up at him.

“Hey,” Steve replied.

There was a pause where they both just stood staring at each other.  “Mel…” Steve said softly.

They surged forward, colliding with each other.  Melody wrapped her arms around his neck and his curled around her waist, lifting her as their lips connected.

She curled one leg around his waist and he carried her to the bed, placing her on it as he moved on top of her.  Melody’s closed started to feel restricting and in the way.  She scrambled first to try and get his off and then to get hers, but with how tightly they were pressed together, and how they clutched at each other, it was almost impossible.

“Steve,” she said breathlessly.  “Too many clothes.”

Steve sat back and pulled off his shirt, and as he did, her hands went to his pants and began to work his pants down.  When his cock sprung free, they moved to her clothes.  Steve practically tore them from her, leaving them in tatters around her naked body.

She grappled at him, pulling him back down on top of her and into another searing kiss.  When he’d settled between her legs, she wrapped one around his slim waist and drew him in, and with one smooth stroke, he entered her.

She gasped, arching her back and clenching her walls to grip his cock tight and pull him in deeper.  Steve let out a deep moan.  “God, I missed this,” he breathed.

She clutched at him like she was trying to pull her down into him more.  “Me too.  I missed you.  Steve. I love you, Steve.”

He bunched his hand in the back of her hair and held her there as he looked down into her eyes.  His normally light blue eyes were blown out black with lust.  “I love you too.  I’ll never let that happen again.  I promise.”

He kissed her again, claiming her lips with his.  She couldn’t seem to get close enough to him.  It was like she was trying to merge their bodies into one.  Steve was only too willing to give her what she wanted.  His hands slid around her hips and up under her back, making her spine curve off the mattress as he pulled her up against him.  He rolled his hips slow and deep, thrusting in as deep as she could take him, the head of his cock nudging against her cervix.  When he pulled back, he rubbed the base of his cock against her clit, adding to the intense sensations rocketing through her.

Her lips trailed from his mouth, along his jaw, to just under his ear, and she tugged on his earlobe with her teeth.  “I missed you,” she mewled.  “I missed you, Steve.”

“I’m so sorry, honey,” he murmured breathlessly.  “I missed you too.  I’ll never do that to you again.  Never.”

He picked up his pace, thrusting into her, making the bed rock below them and bang against the wall.  Melody cried out, arching her back under him and grabbing hold of the headboard.  Steve’s hand went to her mouth, muffling her sounds.  “Shhh,” he whispered in her ear.  “You need to be quiet.”

She moaned, writhing under him.  She wasn’t sure that she could keep quiet.  Everything felt too good.  Too intense.  He filled her perfectly, and when she angled her hips just right, the head of his cock hit her g-spot and sent a wave of pleasure right through her.  She was careening toward the peak of her orgasm.  She was just considering whether she should reach down between their bodies to rub her clit when it hit her like a tidal wave, crashing down on her and sending her tumbling over the edge.  She lost all control over herself, her loud cry muffled by Steve’s hand, and was left dazed and panting as the waves washed over her.

Her cunt hadn’t even stopped quivering when Steve pulled out and flipped her over.  The move was so commanding and hot that she quickly scrambled onto her knees, her legs spread just enough for him to move between them.  Her slick ran down her thighs in little rivulets and when Steve slammed back into her aching cunt, it made a wet squelching sound.

He didn’t hold back, pounding into her from behind, their bodies slapped together again and again.  Melody couldn’t focus.  She bit down into the pillow to smother her moans as he railed into her.  Her hand snaked down under her body and she began to rub her clit.

She came again and again, over and over, until one orgasm blended into the next, and all she could do was lie there limply and take it.  “Please, Steve.  Give it to me.  I need it,” she mewled, clenching her walls tight around his cock.

Steve moaned through gritted teeth, his head falling back and with one more hard thrust, he came, pumping into her.  She could feel his cock pulsing as it emptied inside her.

“Oh god, Steve,” she moaned.  “Yes… fuck, baby.”

Steve hummed and ground his hips in one last time before pulling out and collapsing on the bed beside her.  As he lay on his back breathing heavily, Melody rolled over and curled into the crook of his arm.  They lay there quietly, riding out their orgasm highs.  Steve’s heart thundered against her ear and she listened as it slowed and evened out to his usual slow rhythm.

She looked up at him through hooded eyes, a soft sleepy smile on her face.  “That was amazing,” she hummed.  “God, Steve.  I love you so much.  I hate being apart from you.”

He frowned and leaned down pressing a kiss to her forehead and then her lips.  “I know.  I don’t like it either.  This - what happened - I’m not going to let it happen again.  But you know that there are going to be times that I can’t be around.  My work…”

Melody pushed herself up onto her elbow and looked down at him.  “I know, Steve.  I’ve had the separation by mission before.  I’m not gonna lie, I hated it.  I hated worrying and not having word from you, and thinking maybe you’d died.  It was hard.  But I wasn’t alone.  I had Mattie and Bobbi.  And I knew you at least wanted to come home to me.  That is part of you.  And I get it.  I wouldn’t change that part of you.  You help people and it’s one of the reasons I love you.  Besides, when you get back, it means reunited sex, and we just proved how great that was.  This was different.  I was alone and I thought what happened was enough to turn you off me.”

“I’m sorry.  I need to communicate better,” he said.

She shrugged.  “We both do.”

“I just wanted to make sure you knew what it was like to be with me.  I’m serious about you.  There’s going to be lots of times when I want to be with you, and I can’t, and I won’t be able to call.  I don’t want to hurt you, so if that’s something you can’t live with…”

She placed her finger on his kiss-swollen lips and shook her head.  “I can.  As long as you can live with those people saying all those terrible things about us.”

He shook his head.  “I feel like that’s my fault, not yours.  Do you think that article would have been at all interesting to anyone if you weren’t dating an Avenger?”

“Maybe not,” she said. “And I admit, that stuff is hard for me to read.  But it’s something we both have to live with.”

“I don’t care what anyone else says about us.  I know what's real.  I know what's in my heart.  I love you, Mel.”

Melody looked down at him, and she could picture a whole life with him.  A home in Brooklyn.  A dog.  Getting married.  Children.  Date nights.  Marathon sex sessions.  Being held in his strong arms. Being harassed on the internet.  Nights alone worrying.  Tending to wounds.  The good and the bad mesh together to form a full well-lived life.  He was her person.  She knew that.  All that bad was worth it because the good could be so good.  He was right.  She knew what was in her heart.

“I love you too,” she said and leaned in to kiss him.  He wrapped his arms around her and she knew they were going to be okay.

// NEXT

[moirindeclermont]

Smashed Episode 11

We are in the final steps folks. Tomorrow this adventure is going to end, but I can tel younthat the next One Is looking very promising...

Also, there is a quote here, if you can find it 😏

But now, let's go back to this one.

If someone would have told her 1 year ago that she was married Mr Colin Bridgerton, who also was a vampire, she would told them to stop saying stuff that wasnt going to happen.

She was enjoying her own wedding dinner - a change to the more traditional breakfast once she pointed down she didn't want to become Mrs. Big Pile of Dust.

After their return, it was quite a few stressful weeks. They decided to reveal the truth to a few selected people in order to have a night ceremony and a wedding dinner, so Colin could attend his own ceremony. A lot of discussions if the future an what may look like for them.

Colin did manage to sneak up a couple of times in her own. She did the same.

But finally, they were husband and wife, just like she always dreamed of.

Colin was doing great at being with other people, especially now that he could feed a bit from Pen every now and then. She didn't minding the slightythat she was the sole direction of his desires.

For being a hunter, she rather enjoyed having a vampire on her neck (and other parts as well).

They re looking at each other now, and the message is clear for them. They need to get out and release some tension.

A bit of fight, a bit of something else too.

They both managed to find themselves on the same road in which they met (again), a couple of fledglings trying to terrorize a young man. Pen smiled at Colin, "ehy, why don't you pick someone of your own side?" Said Pen, and when the vamps turned around it was already too late for one of them. Colin managed to severe his head with a sword he begin to carry on himself.

Pen did not have time to contemplate how hot it was, as the other vamp was coming towards her.

The man (who was in danger a minute before) seemed to want to come in her defense, but Colin stopped him. Her husband enjoyed so much watching her fight... She did too, knowing what was going to happen after.

She toyed a bit with vamp, parry and attack, until she saw Colin's hungry expression and decided to move things along.

With a high kick she threw the vamp on the floor and the moment after he was dust. The other man was gone, thatnk goodness. She had only eyes for Colin.

They managed to find what was going to be their home, even if they were running - they didn't waste time once inside. Colin carried her through the stairs and up to their bedroom. Her dress was quickly removed - and only a vampire could have it done with such speed without ruining it completely - as well as his.

Their kiss was almost ferocious on intensity, something they know always happened after a good fight.

They knew their first round would be rough and wild, while their second would be tender and slow. He threw her on the bed, roughly opening her up with two fingers while his mouth found her nipples. "Now Colin, now!" She moaned loudly and Colin's control snapped. He took her in a swift motion that left her breathless. Fast and faster, a rhythm that would have been bruising for most women but Pen could take it. She was made for him.

Her hand went to her center, adding to the powerful stimulation so she could c0me. Colin added a couple of spanks, making her shudder. Colin was the first to go over the edge, Pen following him when he bite her right on her heart.

She put her hand on his hair, petting him as he sucked a bit.

They had the rest of their life to find even more ways to connect with each other, and both of them could not wait to start.