#and the winner names on the blades

[f1-birb]

mclaren Some stunning Silverstone hardware added. 🙌🏆

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Facts about Greek Myths?

There are a great many figures in Greek myth and they can be hard to keep track of, so here is a quick guide to which is which:

Ajax- Warrior who invented detergent.

Antigone- Funeral enthusiast who invented civil disobedience.

Atlas- First winner of the Olympic strong titan competition.

Bellerophon- Plot point in Mission Impossible 2.

Cerberus- 7 headed dog tragically born with only 3 heads.

Charon- Lead rower for Styx.

Cratus- God of strength, but not THAT god of strength.

Cyclops- Inventor of the monocle.

Daedalus- Inventor of the Labyrinth, and thus of David Bowie.

Dionysus- Drank 24/7 but very responsibly never drove.

Eris- Goddess of fighting with each other.

Eros- God of doing something else with each other.

Euronymous- God of Mayhem.

Fates- Least creatively named destiny gods ever.

Hera- Goddess of marriage yet only Zeus's third wife.

Hylia- Goddess of triangles and disjointed timelines.

Icarus- God of disappointing ones father.

Io- Space captain and epic 3D short film, still not on blu-ray.

Jocasta- Originator of Jo Mama jokes, mother of Oedipus.

Leda- Swan enthusiast and feathery-fandom originator.

Medea- Even worse mom than Jocasta.

Medusa- Inventor of reptile-safe shampoo.

Megaclite- LOL her name is "Megaclite." Pronounced like "Clitty."

Narcissus- Basically Trump.

Odysseus- Sailor who refused to ask for directions.

Orpheus- Inventor of impatiently checking the download bar.

Ouranos- Spelling that could've avoided a lot of planet butt jokes.

Pallas- Inventor of weird looking cats.

Persephone- Pomegranate fan, looked like Monica Bellucci.

Prometheus- Stupid fucking movie, especially for using some of H.R. Giger's original designs then putting them up next to a fucking plain white squid. Also let's make the space jockey a tall guy in a suit. How did Scott think that was a good idea? Fuck that shit and double fuck Covenant for somehow doing even fucking worse.

Rhode- Sea nymph yet not technically an island.

Siren- Inverse groupie.

Sisyphus- Limp Biscuit fan who never stopped rolling.

Tantalus- I'll tell you in a minute...

Thanatos- God of dying as easily as snapping your fingers.

Zeus- When the earth was still flat and the clouds made of fire, and mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher- Folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs. They had two sets of arms, they had two sets of legs. They had two faces peering out of one giant head so they could watch all around them as they talked and they read. And they never knew nothing of love. It was before the origin of love. There were three sexes then: One that looked like two men glued up back to back, called the children of the sun. Similar in shape and girth were the children of the earth. They looked like two girls rolled up in one. The children of the moon were like a fork shoved on a spoon, they were part sun, part earth- Part daughter, part son. Now the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance and Thor said, "I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer, like I killed the giants." And Zeus said, "No, you better let me use my lightening like scissors, like I cut the legs off the whales, and dinosaurs into lizards." Then he grabbed up some bolts and he let out a laugh, and said, "I'll split them right down the middle. Gonna cut them right up in half." And then storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire, and fire shot down from the sky in bolts like shining blades of a knife and it ripped right through the flesh of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth. If you want the rest, see Hedwig and the Angry Inch cuz this is taking way longer to type than I expected.

[luimagines]

Broken Heart Broken Kingdom (1400 Follower Raffle)

Our second place winner was @sadlonelybagel and they asked for a reader who's partner was Link but Link is dead. This reader instantly doesn't like the chain for their similarities to their late lover. Enjoy.

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

When they first walked through the portal, they couldn’t help but see the state of the land. There was a reddish haze over the sky with broken trees and burnt grass and with the faint smell over smoke of the land.

“What happened here?” Legend’s jaw was slack. He had fought so hard to keep this from happening. But here it was, his worst nightmare come to life.

“War.” Warrior answers bluntly, not bothering to sugar coat the circumstance. “A bad one by the looks of it.”

“But how can it get this bad?” Four looks around in just as much shock coughing a bit to clear his lungs of the smoke that hangs around.

“They lost.” Wild answers with just as much fact as Warrior does. No one bothers to challenge his statement.

“Who are you?!” A stern voice calls out from the side. The sudden sound startles them and they draw their weapons on instinct. Their grips tighten at the sight of the weapon this new person holds. They viscerally react at the sight of the group but manage to hold their ground. They steady their hand and adjust their stance, albeit they look less angered and more heartbroken. “Who are you!?”

Hyrule raises his hand. “....Link.”

“Don’t mock me!” They hiss. “You can’t be Link.”

Sky looks around uneasily. “...But we are. All of us. You seem to know him. Do you know where we can find him?”

Their eyes well up with tears as they stare the boys down. “How dare you.”

“What happened?” Warrior interjects. “What happened here?”

Despair covers this stranger's face. They don’t seem to want to believe the implications of his words. “What happened? What happened? How can you not know what happened?! Ganon happened!!”

“We can gather that.” Time says gently. “But why is this the case? Where is your hero?”

“Dead.” They choke on a sob, righteous fury entering their gaze. “That demon killed my husband. I’ve been fighting in his stead.”

They group fall silent once again, shifting their weight awkwardly on their toes. Time in particular feels a heavy sort of dread drop his stomach through the crust of the earth, filling the void to the top of his throat. Part of him wants to vomit. He doesn’t think he’ll be allowed.

“My condolences.” Wild breaks the silence first. “I’m sure he was a very strong man.”

The stranger’s bravado wavers and the tears fall. This poor soul has clearly shoved aside their need to grieve for the protection of this land. But as they are not the chosen hero, their efforts are akin to pushing a boulder up a hill during a race. Progress has been made, but at the cost of much lost ground.

They lower their blade and use the hem of their sleeve to wipe away the tears. The water clears away the dirt on their cheeks. They look younger that way. “...You’re the first person to tell me that…”

Wind puts his hands on his hips and looks around the world once again. He asks for their name and they give with only minimal hesitation. They seem unable to look most of them in the eye. But Hyrule, Wind and Four get their full attention when they begin asking questions. Sky can almost get them to look his way but then they spot the sword on his back and scowl and look away again. Twilight pats his shoulder. He’s sure it’s nothing personal. They seem unable to meet more of them in the eye however, most likely due to the fact that they look the most similar to one another. Including Wild.

They can easily gather that they’re the ones that look the most like the hero.

Or rather- their dead husband.

It must be a bitter pill to swallow- and one that they clearly weren’t ready to so much as hold. It’s saddening more than it is insulting.

“...Well I guess we’re here to help.” Legend says solemnly. 

The local can only look at the ground and the blade in their hand- eyes haunted and heart heavy. “...You’re a little late for that.”

“We’re not here by choice.” Twilight says evenly. “But had we known the option and the circumstance, I assure you that we would at least attempt to help when you-.... When he needed it. But we were in our own homes, in our own worlds.”

They swallow harshly and look away, not willing to open their mind to the concept. This is an open and deep wound. Twilight sighs. He sees the signs of grief. There’s no getting through to them at this rate. “Just point to the direction of the threat and we’ll get out of your hair. I’m sure you could use a break.”

Something behind their eyes snapped. They grit their teeth, growling at the Rancher. “Do you honestly think-?!”

“We’re here to do a job whether you like it or not.” Time interrupts them. He can already see where this conversation is going. It’s not something he wants to entertain. “We can go head first into the danger with only our wits about us or you can help us at least know what we’re about to get into. This is bigger than us.”

His words strike a cord and they straighten- guarding their face once more. “Fine. This way. Try to keep up. I won’t slow down for you.”

“Lead the way.” Sky steps forward, looking back at the group nervously. Most shrug and follow this person through the war torn land and to what they can assume is a safe haven from the battles and from Ganon’s forces. They see more of the land and it’s just as bad as the first glances.

This person does not trust them, that much is obvious. They don’t like them, something that is abundantly clear. And this person does not want them here, but no one here can change what has happened.

Hyrule still needs a hero.

[aspergerasparagus]

What if... Lucky Contestant and/or Real Frankie angst? 👀

<Incorrect-Finding-Frankie

You asked for this. Bad Ending unlocked. Also on Ao3

They were on the 65th season when things finally came to an end. The chat was slowly starting to lose interest in their winner. They needed someone new and Lucky had seen the writing on the wall before the new season had even started. So in hindsight it was no surprise that he had come out of the gate swinging. Literally. 

Of course Frankie had been the first to face him. He'd been getting used to playing with them first before trying to catch them so he'd let his guard down. It was only when Lucky drove the knife he'd concealed into his eye did he finally realise what was happening. Of course the fight had still been a brutal affair. Lucky being tossed around like a rag doll as the rabbit screeched in pain, lashing out blindly in search of his target. Both were bloodied by the end but living up to his name, Lucky had managed to strike the final blow by tripping the beast and sending them careening into a saw blade trap. Bloodied and beaten he continued on, clutching his broken ribs as he breath came out in short ragged bursts.

He'd ignored the Frankie on the tvs for the most part. It's not like they could do anything but to throw curses and insults his way. But even that Frankie fell silent after Lucky had made his way to the server room. Leaving only one “Frankie” left to deal with.

And so here they were, finally at the end and it was everything the rabbit had wanted and more. Frankie lay pinned under a piece of parkour equipment Lucky had managed to dislodge during their confrontation. His legs pinned down meaning he had been easy pray for when Lucky had plunged the metal pipe into his chest. Pity he didn't have the strength to hit a little deeper, seeing at the rabbit was now slowly “bleeding” out rather than the quick end his contestant had hoped for.

“You're beautiful you know that.”

“Shut up. I've heard enough from you…” Lucky was leaning against the broken screen, the chat still visible behind the cracks. He was caked in blood, sweat and oil, his breath laboured as he tried to keep himself standing. It was impressive he was still upright given the damage Frankie had done to him, the rabbit was pretty sure he'd broken their arm in the scuffle, along with their collar bone. He must be in annoy and yet he still refused to back down. Frankie could only grin wider. He was perfect!

“It's true tho. After all you've been through, all we've been through, here you finally are. My “Lucky” contestant, my money maker, my lover, my everything.” Frankie could stop the purr that escaped him as Lucky glowered at him, disgust clear on his face for the first time in a long time, haven finally discarded the mask Frankie had become accustomed to.

“Look at me more like that, my little rabbit. You know what you do to me when I get to see you angry~” Lucky went to spit out an insult, only to hiss in pain as he clutched his side the exertion of such an act too much for him right now.

“Go to hell you bastard…”

Frankie just chuckled as he watched Lucky force himself to pick up a jagged piece of scrap and begin to stumble his way over to the rabbit. He wasn't going to let the rabbit just bleed out, that was too kind of a death, no where near befitting of their relationship. He wanted it to be close and personal. A suddenly shiver went down Frankie's spine as he realised this was it. This was his end. He was going to die. When he first realised that the higher ups were going to terminate him he'd felt real fear for the first time. Terrified of the ceaseless void of nothingness that was going to take him. But now, here, facing his end, he couldn't feel anything other than absolutely ecstasy! This was beyond anything he had ever felt before and he was intoxicated.

Grinning wider he held his hand out to the man as he shuffled towards him, as he had when they had first made that deal all those years ago. A wonderful memory he had come to cherish. Sighing the man reluctantly took it as he shifted his weight to it as he continued on, it's not like Frankie could do anything now. He'd lost. Lucky had won. As he always did.

Finally reaching him the man took a moment to catch his breath, the rabbit studying him, memorising each and every detail of him in this moment.

“I wasn't lying when I said you were beautiful. Right now you are stunning, Lucky.”

“I know and that's why I wish you'd stop talking for once.” Frankie just snorted as he gently rubbed the back of their hand, soothing them for what they had to do next.

“I wonder if a small part of you will miss me? I'll miss you.”

“I… Maybe a sick part of me will miss you. But it'll fade. I'm not letting you control my life anymore. I'm getting out of here and taking what is rightfully mine.” Lucky held the rabbit's gaze as through his confession, even at this stage refusing to hide his true feelings. Truly a stunning man~

Frankie just smiled and nodded before directing the man's attention towards a spot on his head.

“My main CPU is stored here. A hard enough strike there will shut me down permanently. So try and not mess it up, it would be embarrassing to miss with such an audience watching us.” Lucky could only roll his eyes before offering a small smirk, unable to resist Frankie's charm one last time. Helping him up onto his chest, he watched as Lucky steadied himself before he raised the metal above his head ready to deal the finishing blow. To end this all. For both of them.

“Do you remember my promise? The one I made to you on our first date?” Lucky hesitated, the scrap still raised.

“Yes, as if I'd forget that. But it doesn't matter now Frankie. You've lost.”

“I know but I still intended to keep my promise my sweet little rabbit.”

Lucky didn't have a chance to react as Frankie wrapped his arms around them and contracted the springs in his arms. 

The sound of the pipe impaling them was a mix of the sickening cracking of bone and squelching of meat. His poor little contestant didn't stand a chance. He heard them cry out, gasping in pain as they tried desperately to expand their chest, but the blood quickly filling their chest charity and lungs made it impossible. (Not to mention the pipe.)

“Shhhh it's okay Lucky. I'm here. Frankie’s got you.” His tone was so soft, like a mother with their child as he cradled their shaking form closer. Coming up to pet their hair he could hear them gargling, before they hacked, blood spluttering out, covering them both. Now this was the ending they deserved. It was perfect. The triumph of the hero over the villain, only for the twist and betrayal at the end. This story was already written the moment Lucky had agreed to stay. There was no happy endings here for them.

Holding him Frankie could only let out a purr, this was practically orgasmic. The feeling of Lucky dying in his arms, by his hand, was even more perfect than he could imagine. He'd have to make sure the techs didn't erase his memory when they repaired him. He needed to remember this moment for all eternity, just so he could have it on a constant repeat in his head. This is how he wanted to remember his Lucky. Hearing them gag he snapped back, offering a small apology he nuzzled this head before leaning down to place a soft “kiss” against their forehead. 

“B-bastard… t-this was always the plan wasn't… it.” Even with his injuries he still had the ability to talk. How impressive~

“It was. You were never going to leave this place alive Lucky. And I think you knew this.” Lucky could only give a weak nod, tears slowly starting to drip down his cheeks, leaving streaks in the blood caking them.

“I… did. I…just had t-try still… Frankie i-it hurts…” Hushing him, the rabbit cuddled him close, burying his face against his hair.

“I know, just close your eyes Lucky. Just give in. It'll be over soon. I promise I won't leave you here like the others, I'll put you somewhere special. So we can be together forever~”

Lucky could only let out a weak sob, but just as Frankie had said soon he closed his eyes. His breaths becoming shallower and shallower until nothing. His body lay limply against the rabbit as they soon succumbed to their own injuries. The only sound left was the hum of the facility and the sound of multiple footsteps approaching them.

[pettyprocrastination]

as much as I love 141 medieval au's here the reader is a noble lady saved from her marriage or some lone townswomans rescued by the group of knights (looking @ my own nun!reader in this) I do love the notion of a lady knight.

A badass woman with no name or backstory that's taken up the life of a sellsword- who scoffs at the notion of "honor" when spilling blood on your blade- death is death. Honor means nothing for God or king.

Her hair is cut close to her scalp, because it's all too easy for somebody to grab a handful of those soft locks and be at the perfect position to slit her throat in a fight. Covered in scars and carried by aching bones that broke years ago but never quite healed properly.

Maybe Price is a king who sees this helmeted figure fighting at a tourney for his name day and asks for their name- their noble house only to learn you have none. Simply a desire for the money awarded to the winner.

Maybe Gaz is beloved prince who often sneaks out from his guards nose to mingle with the common folk- who enjoys sitting in a tavern with others and singing songs while drinking ale with a pretty little thing on his lap until he's walking back to the palace and finds a blade at his neck in a dark alley as you warn him that noblebloods should never walk unaccompanied- it makes the job far too easy.

Maybe a beautiful noble lady is sent to stay under the eye of a royal family in discussion for marriage- when the house offers to gift her one for their personal guards of the 141, she insists she more than happy with her own- you. The silent armor-clad figure standing close to her side. (yes I miss domentzia. she's my wife and always will be).

[harrywavycurly]

I love the banter with Niall and reader! Could we see how they talk on the phone or something? 😇

Hiii babes!! So happy you like their banter 😂 I will happily give you some random phone/facetime convos between the two of them! I hope you enjoy 💖

-find all things boyfriend Niall Horan here✨

“Why do you even read that trash?” “It’s not trash Niall it’s how I keep up to date on my celebrity gossip…oh god…why do they always use the most unflattering photos of me in these things?” “No such thing as an unflattering photo of you babe…definition of beauty you are…broke the mold they did when they made you…no one even comes-” “that’s enough thank you…oh guess what I just found out.” “Uh Harry has six nipples and an eleventh toe?” “No…but apparently we’ve been secretly married for two years.” “Huh and here I was thinking that I’d always remember my wedding day…” “oh and you’ll love this…I haven’t been seen drinking in a few weeks so that means I’m pregnant.” “Come again?” “I’m pregnant.” “You’re what?” “Oh god no…no like I’m just reading you what they are saying in the teen magazines Niall I’m not-” “you’re fucking pregnant and you’re telling me on FaceTime? What the-” “breathe Niall! In and out…deep breaths okay? I’m not pregnant…I’m just telling you that the world thinks I am because I haven’t been drinking-” “I can’t feel my legs…I’m gonna pass out.” “Jesus you’re so dramatic…” “I’m dramatic? You’re the one who cried and stomped your feet in the middle of a pub because they didn’t have anymore fucking chips.” “I was drunk and upset okay?” “Yeah well my secret wife just told me she was secretly pregnant so I’m also upset okay?” “That brings me to the question apparently everyone wants to know the answer to…why do you hide me so much Niall? Are you embarrassed of me?” “Oh right I hide you so much that I bring you everywhere with me and even talk about you in interviews and post you on my instagram…but yeah you’re my little secret…” “I love you…wanna hear about Brad Pitt’s newest love interest?” “I love you too…still not over him and Angelina splitting…that shit was messy.”

“These are your options lover and if you don’t see one you like too fucking bad I’m not going to another shop.” “You talk so sweet to be Niall…oh is that a magnum bar?” “Uh…yes…yes it is…that the winner?” “Yes that’s the winner…oh is that cookies and cream?” “Nope…your eyes are messing with you babe.” “Did you just lie to me Niall James Horan?” “No….yes?…but only because I know you’re gonna make me pick one for you and I’m gonna end up picking the wrong one and you’re gonna be annoyed and…I just say go with the first one you saw and…and you know what? fuck it I’ll get both…I’m good for it.” “Yeah…you’re good for it.” “I’ve got a few spare dollars for the love of my life’s ice cream addiction…”

“Oh hello there my darling girl…I just got your little to do list thingy and I have questions.” “Okay lover of mine…what questions do you have?” “Number one…why the bloody fuck is this list called my lover’s list of things to try when all it has on it are errands you need me to run and like…chores and shit? That title would make one think this list is full of…other…things like…for the bedroom.” “Because you haven’t ever done anything on that list so therefore you’re going to be trying it…hence the name my lover’s list of things to try.” “I beg your fucking pardon? I have mowed the bloody lawn before thank you very much.” “Oh have you?…really? Wanna tell me when?” “Uh..when…I lived in that house in uhm L.A by myself…” “You’re so full of shit…you got half way down one side of your lawn and gave up because you didn’t have the blade dropped properly.” “Oh I love it when you talk lawn care to me baby…it’s so sexy.” “Did you see what was last on the list my little handy man?” “Uh no let me take a gander….Jesus fuck you can’t go writing things like that on a list I’m meant to take out in public.” “Sorry next time I’ll send it to you via email then is that better?” “You really want me to try that on you….again? It didn’t go very well last time…” “that’s because you have no patience and tried to rush it.” “Okay that’s….yeah I did do that but you can’t fucking blame me I was just excited.” “Do you have any other questions Niall or can I get back to work?” “Yeah uh…is this list in any sort of order or can I do them as I want?” “Do them in the order they are written please…and thank you.” “At this rate I’m not gonna get to the last one till bloody Christmas.” “It’s six things Niall…don’t be such a ninny.” “God I love it when you’re mean to me…just does something to me.” “You’re so annoying…I have to go now okay? I love you and I’ll see you when I get home.” “I love you too…have a good rest of your day my little pet.”

“Hello? Baby? Are you okay?” “Uh yeah I’m fine why?” “Uhm well I’m on hole six and you normally don’t call me while I’m golfing unless you’ve run out of snacks or you’re hor-” “as if I’m the one who calls you when I’m in the mood you’re the one who calls me Mr. Small Talk…” “Baby…please don’t be offended but…do you need something?” “Oh shit I’m sorry no…I was just on my way home from target and you know how I like to talk on the phone while I drive.” “Target huh? How much did you blow on pointless shit?” “That’s none of your business….but sorry I’ll let you get back to your little uh…game?…round?…session?…thing…” “it’s amazing how little you know about a sport I’m so involved in…” “awe you think I’m amazing? You’re so sweet Niall.” “How far from the house are you?” “Why?” “I can spare a few minutes to keep you company till you get home.” “I am pulling into our neighborhood…who’s winning?” “Why do you ask such rude questions like that?” “Ah…it’s Harry isn’t it?” “No…not by much anyway…I still have time to come back and kick his lanky ass.” “That’s my man! Kick that Styles ass.” “If I win what do I get?” “Uh you get to rub it in his face and add a tally to your side of the scoreboard in the game room?” “How about if I win I get a proper blo-” “oh look at that I just got home…have a good rest of your game…love you! Bye!”

[leonw4nter]

hii could you do some re2r leon hcs abt him dating a figure skater? love your fics smm <33

RE2R!Leon Headcanons on dating a figure skater!

RE2R!Leon x GN!FigureSkater!Reader (Also my first request ever!! Thanks anon &lt;33)

RE2R!Leon who would drive you to and from practice everyday if he was free. He also offered to massage your sore arms and legs at the end of a strenuous practice, making sure you also ate well in order to restore your energy.

RE2R!Leon who is the resident figure skating expert in the Raccoon City precinct, knowledgeable on the jumps, scoring systems, the best brands of figure skating outfits to buy from, etc. He knows all these because you explain the mechanics of your sport to him any chance you get– laying in bed at night, mid-chew of your food, when he’s driving and you suddenly remembered that you haven’t said anything in a long time today.

RE2R!Leon who would make sure to attend all of your performances, near or far. He’s willing to call in sick just to watch your performance, if the station isn’t super busy. If the station really needs him, he’ll try to catch your performance on the box TV in the break room. 

RE2R!Leon who saved up before spending the first six months of his salary to get you new skates since your old ones were barely hanging on for dear life yet you insisted they still worked just fine. The skating apparel store personnel also gave him care instructions, him taking out a notepad and jotting down care instructions. Like the thoughtful boyfriend he is, he also picked up some grease for the blades and leather conditioner.

RE2R!Leon who would be the loudest person in the whole arena, the staffers and the people reminding him many times to keep the hollering down and he apologizes, even if he’s bound to do it again.

RE2R!Leon who always comes running to you with flowers in one hand, arms wide open to engulf you in a warm hug. He’s practically sobbing because he’s so damn proud of you, his camcorder full of shaky footage of you skating and him yelling. He’s got another camera in the pocket of his jacket, this time full of photos of you (some of the pictures blurry).

RE2R!Leon who nearly masters the art of styling your hair; name it and he’ll do it near perfectly (there’s always room for improvement and new ways to style your hair). Same goes for your makeup; he used to confuse concealer and foundation and now he knows which is which. He remembers the amount you use on your face and what brushes or sponges are used for each product. Sometimes, he even offers to get your brushes and sponges cleaned.

RE2R!Leon who flails his arms and tries not to fall on his ass on the cold ice when you took him out for an ice skating date. You suggested that he use the walkers that the establishment offered for newbies but he turned it down, saying he can just hold on to the side or hold on to you. After you taught, explained, and demonstrated all the moves you do for skating, he’s highly impressed and in awe especially now that he’s seeing the mechanisms up close.

RE2R!Leon who brags about his award-winning partner to the other officers in the station, showing the multitude of pictures he has of your awards. He might even show videos of your routines too, the officers complaining of slight motion sickness or not understanding anything because the footage is so shaky.

RE2R!Leon who will absolutely scream “that’s my girl/boyfriend right there!” or “see that person over there? The one in maroon! I’m their boyfriend!” to no one in particular while the people around him could care less.

RE2R!Leon who hypes you up before it’s time for him to go to the stands and for you to go in the holding area for the contestants, giving you kisses and playing upbeat music on the drive to the venue. He’s giving you so much hugs and words of encouragement, you feel your confidence spike.

RE2R!Leon who ran from the stands and tackled you, crying, when you were hailed as one of the winners. You were both in tears, laughing and smiling broadly but you swear that he cried harder than you did.

RE2R!Leon who will still come running to you with arms wide open to engulf you in a bone-crushing hug, flowers in one hand even if you didn’t place on the podium. At the end of the day, you did your best and he’s the proudest boyfriend ever. In his eyes, you’re the best skater there is and will still celebrate you no matter what.

RE2R!Leon who will listen to the song you finally found for your routine, his lovely partner seeking double approval for their music choice. That song would end up stuck in his mind for a week, even if it’s not his usual taste. While sitting in his patrol car or filing reports back, he’d randomly start humming “Hopelessly Devoted to You” or “Take My Breath Away” and giggle to himself because he remembers seeing you glide on the ice so gracefully. 

RE2R!Leon who doesn’t mind being the guy that people ask to hold their cameras so they can take a picture with you. He’s just some dude and you’re there, the topic of a nine year-old’s female sports icon essay for a subject at school.

RE2R!Leon who felt guilty when you had to pull out of a competition that takes place a state away from where Raccoon City is, flight tickets and hotel accommodation fees above what you two normally earn. He didn’t like seeing you dejected, a little farther from reaching the Olympic dream you want to achieve and sulking in your room. He promised to work harder and saved more money so he’d be able to support you financially in your dreams.

RE2R!Leon who will blast a Spice Girls or Madonna song and dance to it, making himself look stupid in front of you just to make you smile for even a little bit. Would do anything to help you get over a bad day. He’d suggest you doing his makeup to test out how a makeup look you’ve been eyeing might look; the powder is making his nose slightly itchy but he tries not to flinch so he won’t smudge the eyeliner you’re doing on him while you’re sitting on his lap, his hands resting on your waist or the small of your back.

RE2R!Leon who is your number one fan! Aside from whatever encouragement he’s showering you when you’re competing, he’s truly doing everything and more just so he can help you reach your dreams. On days that are either boring, best, or the worst, he will be there for you no matter what. He truly believes that you’re perfectly capable of being on your own but he’s thankful that you’re letting him into your life. He’s not the richest man in the world nor does he have a fat bank account but he’s doing everything in order to be able to provide for you, a small smidge of what he is willing to do for you.

NOTE - I finally finished 1/3 requests in my inbox, YEAHHH!!! I started on this one yesterday before I fell asleep, finished the rest of it while at school, and finished making the post just now :)) I've been gone for a while bc school and I'll probably be gone again for quite some time bc work is starting to pour in some more. I got a perfect score on a math drill today so I'm pretty happy about that, my (richer) classmates also organized a prom kinda thing bc we didn't get to have prom so I'm excited about that one :)) Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this headcanon and again, big BIG thank you to anon for sending this request in!!!! I hope I managed to live up to your expectations :))) I <33333 UUUUU!!!!!!!

The hanging star divider is made by @benkeibear , the images are colored by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[ammocharis]

One bit of obscure Dragon Age lore a day until Dragon Age: The Veilguard is released

The main trophy given to the Grand Tourney winner is a sword dubbed the Celebrant. The blade is inscribed with the name of every victor. Participants come from all over Thedas. Among the most famous champions was a lady knight Talisa of Sundarin who won twice in a row and was declared the "Most-Loved Champion in the History of the Tourney". Among the lesser-known victors was an Avvar man.

Source: Codex entry: The Celebrant; Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, Herold Had the Plan

Previous bit

[eggluverz]

halloween with the hsr boys

pairing: dan heng; jing yuan; blade x reader

sof's note: guess who is in a halloweeny mood :> meee! and i'm sure a lot of y'all are as well so let's bask in these autumn vibes together LOL special shoutout to the anon who suggested dan heng would watch like 15 vids before he carves a pumpkin fhsjkghdf that is so accurate <3 pls enjoy and happy fall!!

dan heng

not big on the spooky parts of halloween, but he loves getting in the halloween/autumn spirit by watching twitches and halloween town with you

you host a pumpkin carving contest on halloween eve between the two of you and dan heng 100% takes it seriously

days of prep before the big night, hours of youtube videos in his history… he even reads up on the origins of pumpkin carving—just to be fully immersed and prepared

when the time comes, dan heng has his tools lined up in the most efficient order as he readies himself to make his design

he, of course, wanted to carve a tree with maple leaves falling in the night sky

you stare at his template with wide eyes, quickly scrapping your happy face idea to think of something more creative…

noticing this, dan heng chuckles in amusement. “you don’t have to change your design to match mine”

you shake your head. “and risk losing the competition? no way”

“then may the best carver win”

when the two of you are done, you take a photo and send to your friends to vote

it was a close call, but dan heng ends up winning by two votes

“maybe i should’ve joined your pumpkin carving research…” you pout, staring between your finished product and his

“there’s always next year,” dan heng soothes, giving you a hug. “besides, you’re always the winner in my eyes.”

jing yuan

he would make all the pies for you

pumpkin pie, pecan pie, apple pie, sweet potato pie, apple crumble pie…you name it 

he doesn’t even know how to make pie he just googled a bunch of recipes and winged it

you think something tastes off but you try to encourage him anyway 

of course, jing yuan sees right through it

“it‘s not that i don’t like your baking, i really do, but i may have some suggestions for the future…”

“there is no need to sugarcoat your distaste, y/n,” he says with a laugh. “we can redo them together.”

the pies turn out even better the next time

the two of you end up picking up pie making as your fall-time hobby this year and bake pie for all your friends

he tries to make a mimi-safe pie as well

mimi hates it (pumpkin spice is not good on the lion’s tongue) 

but you think the effort is cute :> 

he ends halloween night off by sharing a yummy slice of apple crumble pie with whipped cream on top with you

“so sweet!” you state happily as he feeds you the first bite. 

jing yuan leans forward and smiles. “not as sweet as you” 

blade

goes all in for halloween

is dead instead most of the year, comes to life for the halloween spirit

he likes to decorate the house with you, even making a mini “haunted maze” in the driveway for the trick-or-treaters

accidentally makes a kid cry in it…

really, he just went in the maze to do a quick maintenance check, but he looked so menacing in his costume that a kid saw him and started crying 

blade is too confused about what happened to feel bad 

you give the kid extra candy and apologize to their parents while stifling a laugh at blade’s blank expression

“i didn’t even say ‘boo’,” he murmurs curiously.

you just pat him on the head and give him a kiss on the cheek

after the trick-or-treat shenanigans, you and blade relax and unwind on the comfort of your couch

his definition of unwinding on halloween is watching old horror movies

[or, if you cannot handle horror like me: he watches the barbie movies with you to help you take your mind off the halloween scares and go to sleep :3]

you cuddle him as you doze off while eating leftover halloween candy 

blade carries you to bed and tucks you in for the night bc you deserve a good night’s rest <3

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Record of Ragnarok x Marco The Phoenix!Reader

Pineapp- *Ahem* I mean Marco The Phoenix, I don't have any specific plot you can go wild.

-You were enjoying yourself, soaring high in the skies above Valhalla, enjoying the clear skies, good weather, and just peaceful serenity of being able to stretch your wings.

-You heard someone calling out your name and you looked down, seeing Brunnhilde waving up at you and you headed down, landing before her as the blue flames surrounded you, returning you to your human form as you beamed, “Yo Brunnhilde! Is it my turn?”

-She gave you a warm grin, knowing exactly what she had been doing when she recruited you to fight, “You are correct- are you ready?”

-You put your hands behind your head, looking far too relaxed as you were going to be fighting for your life, or at least that’s what everyone else was thinking, but only Brunnhilde and a few others knew of your ability, something you came to Valhalla with, so it was legal for you to use.

-You looked rather unassuming as you walked out, you didn’t look like other warriors who fought before you, as you had a lazy smile on your lips, looking at your opponent who looked annoyed at facing such a weak looking human.

-He pointed his weapon at you, “Oi pineapple- you fighting barehanded? That’s stupid!” the gods were laughing and jeering at you, calling you pineapple as your hair, unfortunately, made you look a bit like a pineapple, but unlike when you were alive when it would end with an ass beating, you just smiled, letting it roll off your back like nothing, “I don’t need a weapon to fight someone like you.”

-The humans were in awe of your nonchalant nature, many thought it was a joke, but there were some, other warriors, who could sense that there was more to you than meets the eye and you weren’t to be underestimated.

-When the match started the god, insulted by your words, charged at you and swung his blade at your neck, running your through. The gods were cheering, seeing how quickly it was over, until they were all murmuring, seeing the blue flames coming from the injury and you were still smiling, completely unbothered.

-Your opponent turned back at you as Goll was cheering, “Go Y/N!” and you looked up at her, flashing a smile before you turned as the flames faded, your neck completely healed.

-Gods and humans all over were shouting, demanding to know your ability before your opponent ran to you, attacking you with a barrage of attacks, but with each wound, instead of blood, blue flames appeared, burning before fading, revealing you were unharmed.

-Zeus shouted at Brunnhilde, demanding an explanation as all eyes turned to the eldest Valkyrie who grinned warmly, “Show them what you’re made of Y/N!”

-You gave her a grin, “Looks like it’s my turn!” your opponent wasn’t prepared for the blue flames to surround you as your arms turned into what looked like bird wings and your legs turned into bird-like feet with talons as you were quick to go on the attack.

-Zeus and many of the gods were yelling at Brunnhilde, several of them trying to stop the fight, saying your abilities weren’t natural and weren’t allowed, but she showed them the rulebook, “Y/N ascended to Valhalla with these abilities- it’s a part of them and is allowed.”

-It was right there, and they couldn’t argue it as you won the match, walking away the clear winner as you stretched your arms up, sighing deeply, your job fighting was now done as Goll ran to you once backstage, leaping into your arms with a cheer.

-You ruffled your hair as she led you to the infirmary, as you had agreed to help heal the injured fighters, something they were grateful for, on both sides, as your abilities were able to heal them completely.

-Kojiro was amazed as your flames tickled his chest, “I watched your fight- it was amazing! So, your flames can hurt and heal based on what you want them to do?”

-You gave him a grin, “Pretty much yoi- it’s a good offense, defense, and healing as you said.” Kojiro just laughed, amazed by your ability as you got to relax in the infirmary between fights. Brunnhilde knew exactly what she was doing, knowing you would win, and knowing you would heal those who were injured, you were a doctor of course.

[eschergirls]

November 2024 Escher Girls Updates & Patreon Thank You!

Hi everybody!  It's November, so it's time for a monthly update and to thank all our wonderful Patreon subscribers!

For a quick update about Tumblr, if you've been following the blog you probably noticed that in late September/early October, the Escher Girls Tumblr ran into the infamous "shadowban" bug, which is not actually a shadowban but just a bug that happens to random blogs on Tumblr (more info here). After bugging Tumblr about it a few times, they finally fixed it, which means everything is back to normal and I can send and receive DMs and messages as normal on Tumblr (just in time for the Caption Contest which was handy for giving out prizes to the winners!)

I appreciate everybody who helped me figure it out and especially @haveievermentioned who messaged me to let me know that they weren't getting updates from the EG Tumblr! In the future if you run into any issues with Tumblr or the main site, please don't hesitate to let me know!

Also, if you missed it last month, I've been fixing up the main site and I updated the submission guidelines and also the submission form which now lets you choose a name to submit with and also let me know if it's okay for me to reply to your email address if I need more info about your submission. The new and improved form can be found here: https://eschergirls.com/form/submit-content

And, all new posts on EscherGirls.com now link to the corresponding Tumblr post so site users can easily navigate to the Tumblr cross-post and see what Tumblr users are saying. And when I fix up old posts, I'm now fixing up the Tumblr version as well and adding a cross-post link. It's twice the work but given that many people still view the site on Tumblr, I figure it's worth it to everybody. :3 There are some posts without a Tumblr cross-post link because the Tumblr post has been deleted/hidden because of Tumblr's mercurial algorithmic flagging which can't tell the difference between stuff like a coloured body suit and nudity.

As usual I've spent a lot of time this month working on fixing up old posts, restoring broken images or finding higher res versions of old images, and fixing broken links, etc, also fixing all the formatting of older posts and finding sources.

Here are some of the posts I fixed up this month (for any that want to check them out, the links to the Tumblr versions are included in every post):

This "How To Draw" book depicting women's waists as a ball joint (which explains a lot about why artists think women can just swivel around like rotor blades), and an associated post with that infamous Jennifer Blood cover

The infamous "muscleboobs" how to draw page depicting women's breasts as muscles 

Two different Soul Calibur posts: one with Talim in a boobs and butt pose (and a redraw fix of it), and another with Xianghua, Talim and Ivy in various states of rubberization

Black Canary described by my friend as a miracle of modern plumbing

War Goddess giving up War Goddess-ing and instead going into the butt-selling business

The infamous Glory/Avengelyne cover (the first time I posted Liefeld on this blog after the first 800 posts without him to prove a point that it wasn't just him putting out the insectoid women art) and an associated post

And a caption contest with Avengelyne and Ravyn in pretty hilarious poses and also the winners of that contest

And now I want to give a big thank you to Escher Girls' Patreon subscribers for October!

Thank you so so much to:

Anne Adler Cat Mara Chris McKenzie Em Bardon First Time Trek Greg Sepelak Ken Trosaurus Kevin Carson Kim Wincen Kristoffer Illern  Holmén Leak  Manuel Dalton Mary Kuhner Max Schwarz Michael Mazur Miriam Pody Morgan McEvoy randomisedmongoose Rebecca Breu Ringoko  Ryan Gerber Sam Mikes Sean Sea SpecialRandomCast  Thomas 

And a very very special thank you to JohnnyBob8 for buying me a coffee on Ko-Fi!!!

Thank you so much for helping to keep the site running! The Tumblr technical issues and algorithmic flagging are reasons why Escher Girls has a dedicated self-hosted site, and why I appreciate the support on Patreon and Ko-Fi so much as it helps me pay for hosting, domain costs, and site upgrades and keep the site running.

And thank you to just everybody, all of you interacting with the blog on both Tumblr and on the main site, and who participate in caption contests, and submit things to me, or just generally send me kind words. Thank you all! You make running the site so worth it. :)

Ami

PS: As a reminder, we added a button that links to the Escher Girls Tumblr and to our RSS feed for those who want to follow that way. (For newbies, RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication and is basically a feed you can read using an RSS reader. Simply copy and paste https://eschergirls.com/rss.xml into an RSS reader and it will keep you up to date on Escher Girls!)

Make sure it is eschergirls.com and not eschergirls.tumblr.com, as that is Tumblr, and not the self-hosted site.

If you have any issues with the site or suggestions to improve it, please do not hesitate to contact me and let me know!

If you wish to support Escher Girls, you can subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/ami_angelwings or donate through Ko-Fi at: https://ko-fi.com/amiangelwings.

[rockmiyabideusexmachina]

2024 Megaman Summer Fanart Contest - Category 1 Results!

Sorry for the delay, but without further ado, here come this year's wonderful creations and our winners. Thank you all for your patience! Due to both the number of entries and the amount of reference images I'll be attaching here, I will have to make a separate post for the humor (Cat. 2) results. Please check that out here as well, after I post this! All winners will be contacted shortly.

Take a walk through the newly opened wing of the Kattleox Art Museum to see all this year's fabulous entries after the break...

CATEGORY 1 (Talent): Pallette Pastiche

The talent category this year focused on creating a parody or imitation of a famous work of art by using Mega Man characters in the place of what was originally drawn. Didn't have to be a well-known famous piece, but still had to reference some piece of art, regardless. And you all certainly made both Ms. Museum Curator and myself proud! It was very hard to choose placement, let alone who would make the Top 3. Plenty of fantastic character choices to match the vibe of the original pieces. For the full gallery of pics, click here. Links to each individual full size image is after each entrant's name as well. 1.) @sylviidaee [Pic] (*175 USD Prize Winner!)

Sylviidaee's reference was Michelangelo's Renaissance piece, "The Creation of Adam."

The shading and detail in your painting efforts for this piece are remarkable! Flawlessly fitting in each Robot Master, along with Blues and Roll, to represent the angels, worked out great. This pic deserves to be a featured museum piece, with replicas hanging in the homes of every Megaman fan!

2.) @purplerubyred [Pic] (*$100 USD Prize Winner!)

Ruby's reference was the cover of the Capcom Design Works artbook, by Kinu Nishimura.

Just even attempting to replicate the sheer amount of characters in this piece had to be an enormous undertaking, and I commend you for spending part of your August month of Elec Man love crafting this! There is so much to take in with this piece, with all the various versions of Elec Man and his related family. From background locations like MaHa Ichiban to the super great white angel/devil chip artwork on the railcar window, there are tons of little cameos to catch as you look across this art. Wonderful job!

3.) @DWN-059 [Pic] (*$75 USD Prize Winner!)

Beebs' reference was Rococo artist Jean-Honoré Fragonard's "The Swing."

While the lush forested background draws my attention for it's whimsical beauty, and huge amount of detail, I loved the little touches you brought to make this have a Mega Man feel. Such as the Guts Man and Anko statues to replace the angels, and adding the cute 'lil Friender. While Planty can't kick off his boots, the Plant Barrier petals were a perfect replacement for the shoe. Beautifully and accurately painted! _____________________________

And the rest of our amazing entrants, in alphabetical order by alias:

ArtisIan [Pic]

ArtisIan's reference was Grant Wood's "American Gothic."

Nothing more 'gothic' than a guy obsessed with skulls, building dark, brooding, black-clad robots, owning a homely Skull Castle with tall walls and large windows, am I right? Bass with the daughter's glare is actually rather fitting here, as well! XD Now, if Wily always carried around that pitchfork, wouldn't he be able to defeat Mega Man a lot easier, on account of sharp points?

@aw-colorcat [Pic]

AW-Colorcat's reference was a piece by seafh that was used as a popular Youtube BG image back in the 2010s for the Nightcore (sped up version/remix) version of the song "Angel with a Shotgun."

The bullet holes through the single wing sure makes it look like Mega Man has gone *pew pew pew* through it. But I think an angel with an all-powerful Metal Blade could be a little more deadly accurate.

@digitallyfanged [Pic]

Tabby's reference was Auguste Rodin's sculpture, "The Thinker." (To which, somewhere out there, Sigma Posting is ready to dub it "The Sig-ker.")

Contemplating his status as the most advanced Reploid of his time, his next strategic action against the Maverick Hunters, or how to change/destroy the world? Sigma certainly could be looked at as someone who could be rather philosophical and get deep in thought. And wouldn't be afraid to show off artwork of himself in his fortress. Hatching detail is nice, and helps give that statuesque, worn and chiseled feel.

Ivo [Pic]

Ivo's reference was Impressionist Joaquin Sorolla y Bastida's, "Italian Girl with Flowers."

Fantastic job at replicating the paint on canvas look, I truly can't tell if this is just a digital filter or if you physically painted it! Extending the green curls of hair outside of his helmet helped mimic the girl's original hairstyle even more. Really pretty, and his color pops nicely against the smaller flowers he's enjoying!

JazzmanZ [Pic]

JazzmanZ's reference was Roy Lichtenstein's Pop art painting, "Stepping Out."

Steppin' out to fight Doc Wily tonight! Honestly amused at how just a few little line alterations were needed to easily transform this couple into Rock and Roll. Like the little nose bridge line above his eye easily morphing into the peak of Mega Man's helmet. Excellent eye for parody in choosing this. No Roll, I didn't mean anything by that...

@nightopianfoxgirl [Pic]

NightopianFoxGirl's reference was "Circe Invidiosa," from Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood artist John William Waterhouse.

Another brilliant choice in characters having Iris represent Circe, who was known for turning her enemies into animals. And having the Cybeast duo of Greiga and Faltzer as the sea monster beneath her connects to the allegory of her role in the Beast anime with the Synchronizer, Trill. She too probably wants to poison/destroy the beasts, and can be seen as a bit of a tragic figure herself.

@puyonlilah [Pic]

Puyonlilah's reference was the Romanticism era painting "Ophelia," by Sir John Everett Millais.

Yet another tragic take, with the X version of Iris filling the role of Ophelia from Shakespeare's Hamlet, who is seen singing before she drowns herself in the river. Forgive her Zero, she just wanted to live in a world where only Reploids exist! You certainly portrayed the grief and emotional stress on Iris' face nicely, as well as the effect of her barely keeping afloat, with the water ripples.

@vogler-art [Pic]

Ryan's reference was Romanticist artist Caspar David Friedrich's painting, "Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog."

In a world covered by endless water, there's bound to be days of endless fog affecting your sightline, aren't there? Very nice contrast of light and dark in your colors. There's something that just feels so fitting for Mega Man to be looking out from on high, to give a sense of adventure, venturing into the unknown, or even alluding to X looking off the cliff during X1's ending. How long will he keep on fighting? Maybe only the buster on his hand knows for sure...

Tori Campan [Pic]

Tori's reference was Leonardo Da Vinci's famous Renaissance painting, "The Mona Lisa."

Miss Tori got the most important thing right in her parody by making sure The Rolla Lisa had no eyebrows, because those have disappeared from the painting over time. Roll's green bow stands out in her hair even more with the beautiful green forest in the background. Wonderful job getting her pose and that slight, mischievous smile on her face to match the original!

Thank you to everyone again who participated this year! Each artwork was fantastic!

[1997thebracket]

Round 6 - FINALE

The winner takes all! Which piece of media deserves to be the Champion of 1997?

Revolutionary Girl Utena: If it cannot break its shell, the chick will die without ever being born. This sentiment, originally found in Hermann Hesse’s 1919 novel Demian, features during a repeated sequence in the 1997 anime Revolutionary Girl Utena. Hesse is far from the only reference to philosophical, surrealist, or heavily symbolic text in the show, which trades in visual metaphor and multi-layered subtext. Revolutionary Girl Utena follows the story of Utena Tenjou, a young orphan who aspires to princehood-- challenging or outright circumventing the place of gender in that aspiration-- and is entangled in a series of duels centered around a girl named Anthy Himemiya. Written by Kunihiko Ikuhara, Chiho Saito, and Yōji Enokido (known collectively as Be-Papas) and soundtracked by J.A. Seazer and Shinkichi Mitsumune, the show has an instantly recognizable style, combining lush fairytale visuals and French-inspired architecture with a choir that functions as a sort of Greek chorus to the internal worlds externalized in combat. Utena is a story about many things, arguably all things, taking a surgical scalpel to adolescence and using the flat of the blade as a paintbrush, leaving a deeply human, visceral work of art in its wake. It has been massively influential on feminist, queer & sapphic, and otherwise gender-deconstructive or gender-subversive modern media. Smash the world's shell! For the revolution of the world!

Radiohead's OK Computer: I go forwards, you go backwards, and somewhere we will meet. By the middle of the decade, Radiohead was weary of the ubiquity of their 1993 hit Creep; although the record that followed it (The Bends) was a lusher, more evolved album than their first, it had failed to produce a distinctive enough image for the band to undo what Creep had done. The song threatened to define the band entirely to those outside their devoted following. In 1997 the band swung for the fences with the haunting, abstract OK Computer. It was a move their label cast immense doubt on at the time, and its success then and now would cement Thom Yorke and his bandmates as soothsayers of a sort, draped not in bohemian silk robes but in white hospital sheets. It's an album that speaks to the future with dread more than wonder, that critics described as "nervous almost to the point of neurosis," but marries the uneasy experimental soundscapes with poetic, surrealist, and increasingly prophetic songwriting regarding the parallel lives we lead with technology. Featuring the singles Karma Police, Paranoid Android and No Surprises, OK Computer is hailed by many as the band's magnum opus: it's certified double Platinum in the US and five-times Platinum in the UK, and in 2014 it was included in the United States National Recording Registry as "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant."

[luimagines]

Battle Prizes (1000 Follower Raffle)

Our first prize winner was @psique-dragmire.

They asked for some battle scenes with a post battle kiss with Twilight.

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

Despite the fact that you should have known the drill by now, there was still that level of uncertainty. Would you make it out alive? Unscathed? Would your friends be as lucky? Would it all be over by dinner time?

You ducked. A blade flies over your head, cutting off the bits of hair that couldn’t follow your direction fast enough. You don’t care. You slice back and dodge to the right, bringing your shield up to block their upcoming hammer swing. There were at least three of them around you. You couldn’t tell if they were infected or not but seeing that you had managed to get a cut on the one you’re currently engaged with, you doubted they were enhanced beyond your typical capabilities.

You could hear vague sounds of battle around you. Metal hissing against metal- dull thunks as clubs meets shields- panting breaths with beats of battle cries all crescendoing together in a symphony of battle. Your blood rushed in your ears, providing a base for all the music to come together.

You backflipped and cried out in rage, cutting the arm off the monster behind you before it could hit you. You kept the arm swinging to slice up the third monster’s body before it got any funny ideas. The first monster followed you, pushing past its injured comrades in its wake to destroy you.

Your glare was sharp. If looks could kill, all three of them would have long since burst into flames- or rather, combusted on sight. It certainly would have made your job easier.

Beyond you, you could see Warrior and Twilight fighting back to back. They each had the looks of fierce determination on their faces. They were surrounded. Outnumbered 4:1. Admittedly, they had it worse off than you, but they seemed to be holding their own. You would have dropped everything and helped them in any other circumstance, but when another swing to your head cancels your thoughts- you realize that you technically have bigger fish to fry.

You rush forward, swinging your blade with as much force as you can muster towards the beast’s stomach. It creates a clean cut from side to side. The force of the hit makes the creature take a knee and you use its lack of momentum to charge forward and ram your sword into its head before it can get up again.

It explodes, leaving you down to only two more monster’s to defeat. Significantly better than what Warrior and Twilight seem to be dealing with. You chance it and look over your shoulder to where they’re fighting. The last two monsters notice your lack of focus and your need to catch your breath. Even though one is lacking their arm, they are still beginning to make their way toward you.

You don’t notice it at first.

You’re too busy looking at the way Twilight has gritted his teeth. The way his arm moves as he slashes the monster in front of you. There is no mistaking the way he’s shaped, the way his body curves, the way he fights- his lines and edges- that this is a man. And he knows it too.

You black flip, having noticed a club coming down from above you. The monsters have reached you now and you need to refocus your attention on not dying.

You swing your sword, adjusting your grip and your stance. You’ve caught your breath. Time to tango once more.

You charge forward, side stepping out of the right as a large arm comes down and swinging your sword with the momentum. You hear the creature shriek in rage and in pain- but you’ve miscalculated.

The second monster remaining was positioned just far enough away that you’ve danced right into its reach. And it had already begun to swing.

A sickening crack was heard on the battlefield. You were suddenly dizzy. You were on the ground. You thought you heard people calling your name.

You were angry.

You pushed yourself up and out of the way, just in time to roll away from the second attack. Had you been any slower, you would have had your skull caved in… But you don't register that. Your only thoughts are ending this.

You push yourself to your feet. You’re wobbly and unsteady. You can feel it. However, there’s something inside you that wants vengeance. Revenge. To pay them back with the same coin. You grit your teeth and shake your head, trying to clear it. You jump backwards, dodging another attack- only to jump onto their weapon and run up the length of it. Your added weight makes it harder for them to pull it up from the ground and you swing your sword down onto its face.

It yells out in pain and stumbles backwards. You lose your footing and fall to the ground as well. You hit your back and it’s hard to tell your left from your right. Is your arm broken? Do you have a concussion? Are you in a position to tell?

You can hear more yelling of your name. It’s someone from the group. They’re telling you to stop. They’re telling you to run.

No.

You can finish this.

You push yourself to your feet again, perhaps even more unsteady than before. The second monster is currently bleeding out from the face. It’s trying to wipe the blood off so it would be able to see you clearly. You think you might have taken out one of its eyes.

The third monster with the missing arm stalks towards you but it too is running low on stream. With that injury untreated, there wasn’t much energy left on its part to continue attacking at full strength.

You run towards it, swinging your sword with wild abandon. You lose track of your thoughts and your actions. You keep hitting the beast until the familiar purple smoke surrounds you. Once that’s been cleared out of the way, you turn your gaze to the third and final monster.

It has seemed to regain some of its rage to continue fighting while you feel as if you’re getting started.

An arrow pierces it through the head- ending it before it began.

Twilight runs through the smoke in your direction. You sag in relief and allow yourself to finally fall.

He catches you, cradling you close. “You’re crazy. You’re hurt. You’re bleeding.”

He sounds out of breath. He must have been running to you. You look up at him then. There’s a small cut above his eyebrow and there’s a bruise that’s forming on his jaw, but his eyes… so clear- almost crystalline.

You reach up, feeling that it’s the only thing you can do and grab onto his collar. 

Twilight pulls you closer. “You’re going to be ok. I’m impressed you kept fighting for as long as you did. How on earth were you even standing?”

You shrug and giggle. It’s funny, isn’t it? Twilight was outnumbered more than you were and yet you’re in a worse condition than he is. Twilight runs his hands over your hair and your cheek.

“Did we win?” You try to sit up. Weird, it suddenly hurts to do that.

Twilight nods, stopping you from injuring yourself any further. “Yes, yes. Most of the monsters have been taken care of.”

“And the others?”

“Right as rain.” He replies, leaning closer. “We just need to make sure you’re taken care of. Don’t fall asleep any time soon, ok? I’m sure the Champion has potions that we can give you. You’ll be back to how you were in no time at all.”

You nod and can’t help but smile wider. “I saw you.” You say with a giggle on your lips. “You looked very cool, very handsome.”

A shy smile blooms on Twilight’s face. It’s very pretty. Almost as pretty as the soft blush on his face. “Oh dear… You’re worse off than I originally thought.”

You poke his cheek. “Very nice.”

His blush darkens and he shakes his head again. His smile widens as well. Teasing, he pokes your nose back, picking you up effortlessly in his arms. “Let’s go. This is no place for this.”

You kiss him.

He freezes.

Just when you’re about to pull away, your kiss, fueled by your concussion and budding emotions, is followed by his own. Twilight starts kissing you back, cradling the good side of your jaw as he pulls back to him.

“Oh by the three-” Warrior laments on the side lines. “This is not the time.”

Twilight comes to his senses, pulling away from you with a shocked expression. You don’t seem to care either way, giggling and letting your head rest against his shoulder. “Well… that was nice…”

Twilight clears his throat. “R-right… Sorry.”

“I liked it.” You keep giggling. “I feel like I won a prize.”

Warrior rolls his eyes, sending Twilight a mild glare. Twilight blushes darker, unable to clear his face of his grin.

[cristaq]

Og pricesoap fighting Shepherd here we go!

Soap sits at a table on the shore of Barcelona on a sunny day of early summer. The heat waves that usually dominate the Iberian Peninsula are a distant thing for now, with the sea breeze making its own contribution to the pleasant weather. Even though the view is stunning, his eyes are fixed on the man sitting across the table that skims through today’s news on the phone. Even though they’ve retired for a while now, Price still likes to keep up with the world. He wears the ugliest summer vacation shirt one could buy and yet Soap can’t take his eyes off his gorgeous man.

Price raises his eyes from the phone and smiles warmly, grabbing Soap’s hand and giving it a light squeeze. Soap snaps out of his trance and realises that Price is saying something.

“I need your help, love!”

Soap shakes his head, visibly confused. What did he just say?

“Get up soldier! Wake the fuck up!”

Soap’s eyes open for real this time and he gasps for air like he’s been submerged in water for too long. The pain is excruciating and his nerves waste no time to remind him that he has a knife stuck in his abdomen. Somewhere in the distance he can hear grunts and the sounds of a fight and it’s hard to make sense of all this sensorial overload. The sand burns beneath him, his vision is unfocused and…

“Get off me… son of a bitch!”

Price? Soap lifts his head just enough to see Shepherd over Price, beating him up. The fight has a clear winner, with Price struggling to keep his guard up and defend himself against the flurry of punches. And Soap can’t move a single muscle to help. Unless… his eyes settle on the knife poking out of him.

He grabs the handle of the knife and starts pulling. The pain sends him reeling and dark corners engulf his vision.

For Ghost…

He pulls harder and blood starts bursting out of the wound. HIs arms get ever weaker but he tries to stay silent and swallow his screams.

For Roach…

Price’s defence gets obliterated due to exhaustion. Shepherd is restless and keeps on hitting him.

For you, love…

Soap manages to fully pull out the knife but can’t keep his voice down anymore.  He shouts in pain when the blade leaves his body, making Shepherd turn around towards him.

Soap grabs the knife by the blade and aims for Shepherd’s head, or at least he tries to. His vision is blurry, his movements shaky but something inside his soul is desperate to stay alive and to save Price.

He swings his arm forward, keeping his wrist straight, and lets go of the knife.

For myself. See you in hell.

The knife connects with Shepherd’s eye and the impact throws his head backwards. He falls flat on the ground, right next to Price. Soap lets out a relieved sigh and rests his head back on the sand, his body capable of taking only so much. He screams for Price’s name but there is no response. Tears start forming behind his closed eyelids.

Now, where were we? Ah, Barcelona…

“Soap?! Stay with me, love! Come on, please, I beg you!”

Soap slips in and out of consciousness. Is that the sound of a helicopter or the waves?

“Nikolai! Help me out!”

Hmmm… definitely the waves.

“Stay with me, you muppet!”

The waiter brings two coffees to their table. Black for Soap and milk and sugar for Price. He always had a sweet tooth, not many people know that.

“I am getting you out, I swear.”

Price takes a sip of the coffee. “Good throw by the way. That was the most impressive stunt you’ve ever pulled.”

Soap laughs and squeezes back his lover’s hand. “Someone had to save your sorry ass.”

“I love you…”

“Think you can survive this? Live another day?”

Soap sips his own coffee. It has a strange, metallic taste.

“For you? Anything.”

[mids-stupid-shit]

This was mostly made for @rabid-raccoontail but whoever wants to get into Mortal Kombat, this is your lucky day. So welcome everyone to the

Idiots guide to Mortal Kombat

Also this is going to be my biggest post yet so if you like to read this is the place for you. If you can't picture the characters I name, look them up on google.

Also this contains heavy spoilers for the ENTIRE series.

So sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy this

What is a Mortal Kombat?

To get a basic understanding of the series you got 3 canons to work with. You have the Midway games (Original Dev team), you have The NRS reboot (the canon most people are known with) and you got the The New Era ( the one that changed it all).

Classic games

The first game takes place on an Island owned by Shang Tsung, the final boss. The whole premise of why everyone is fighting on an island is because of the Mortal Kombat tournament, which happens every generation, and is a tournament mostly against Earthrealm and Outworld. Basically how it works, is if your realm wins 10 tournaments in a row, your realm gets fused with the winners (but also you can choose not to do that because fuck it). Outworld won 9 tournaments and with this one, one of the biggest villains of the franchise, Shao Kahn, fuses Earthrealm with Outworld and fucks up the entire human race. Our champions, Liu Kang a Shaolin monk, Johnny Cage the actor and Sonya Blade a Special Forces Commander, led by the thunder God Raiden won't let that shit slide. Oh also Kano is here and he's a proper Aussie, ye m8? Anyways, Liu Kang sweeps the floor with everyone, including a four armed hurdling mass of muscle named Goro, kicks Shang Tsungs ass and practically saves the Earth. Bonus fun fact, Scorpion kills Sub Zero because he thought he killed his family and clan and as revenge, he spit roasts him.

MK2 takes place some time after that with Shang looking a little sexier and asking the Earthrealmers to join a second MK tournament. If they don't oblige, they're gonna invade Earth (save that for a little later). Also Sub Zero is back, except not really the one who got killed by Scorpion was Bi-Han, and this is his younger brother, Kuai Liang. Getting back on topic we got some new characters like Jax, Sonya's partner from the Special Forces, Kuai Liang Sub Zero, Kung Lao who's the cooler Shaolin monk and also has a hat that's also a throwing weapon, Kitana, who is the main villains step daughter (sorta), Mileena, who's a test tube baby made by Shang Tsung for Shao Kahn, Reptile, who as you could guess is a lizard, and Barraka, who has Nosferatu's face (but also like, his species is tied to Mileena's creation because she's half Tarkatan. Anyways, some shit happens and Liu Kang beats the fuck out of Shao Kahn.

MK3, instead of being yet another tournament, Shao Kahn says FUCK IT and invades earth with the Outworld armies. Not only that, but the Lin Kuei (Sub Zero's clan) are being turned into cyborgs. All but one of them escaped, that one being Sub Zero. One cop survives New York, Johnny Cage gets killed by a centaur, there's a speedster with swords and fireballs coming out of his face, and boom, bang BING, we got some new characters. There's Stryker the Cop I talked about a few seconds ago, Kabal the speedster because the co-creator really wanted to make a psycho killer flash, Cyrax Sektor and Smoke who are the cyber Lin Kuei, Rain, who appears in like 5 games but only does something in 3 and isn't playable in one of the games he's in, Night Wolf who's a native American, Ermac who uses they/them and Sindel, the biggest bitch in the fucking seven seas. Oh also Bi-Han is back and he's edgy. He now goes by Noob Saibot, which if you read backwards is Tobias and Boon, the creators of Mortal Kombat. No time for that though because somehow Shao Kahn returned after being fisted, Johnny Cage gets brought back to life and Liu Kang kills Shao Kahn once more again, the end.

If that's not confusing enough, we aren't done yet because now we got

3D games

I'm not doing Mortal Kombat 4

Deadly Alliance starts with Shang Tsung and his boyfriend Quan Chi snapping Liu Kang's neck so he can't interrupt them in reawakening Onaga, the king of all scalies and one of the most powerful forces in the realms. And now Liu Kang is a zombie, Raiden kicks Shang and Quan's asses or at least tries. Also we're introduced to Kenshi Takahashi the blind swordsman with a magic sword, and sexy vampire pirate lady, Nitara, more on her later.

Deception takes place right after that, where Raiden is trying to fight the Deadly Alliance (who are literally just Shang and Quan), failing. Raiden dies, Quan Chi kills Shang Tsung which somehow awakens Onaga. Quan can't do piss and trying to fight him, somehow brings both Raiden and Shang Tsung back to life... Okay?? And then Raiden nukes himself and Onaga walks it off. Deceptions protagonist is a little shit called Shujinko, a student of Bo Rai Cho, the same man who trained Kung Lao and Liu Kang. He then gets encountered by Damashi, a glowy ball that tells him he has to help the Elder Gods by retrieving the Kamidogu (which are basically Jewelry that hold the fabric of the universe). And Shujinko, being the gullible idiot he is accepts. And from this point on, the game turns into you fixing everyone else's problems like finding Bo Rai Cho's sodding watch, getting water back from another realm, and beating the shit out of Wesley Snipes. Speaking of Blade we got other sick characters like Kira and Kobra, Black Dragon members and one of them is named after a martial art/movie, Havik who is a klerk of chaos, Hotaru the Policemun, Dairou who's an outlaw loose and runnin', and Li Mei, voiced by Kelly Hu in the latest game. After all that, you find all the Kamidogu, you defeat everyone + Scorpion is the final boss (don't ask me, I don't fuggin know why) and what's your reward? Realizing you've been deceived the whole game and not seeing a final battle between Onaga and Shujinko (even though Shujinko can definitely beat Onaga but fuck it).

Armageddon begins with this schmuck named Argus, an Edenian God who did it with a mortal woman Delia and they had two boys who had to be put in stalagmites because Argus knows the apocalypse is on its way. Thousands of years later, Daegon and Taven, the two brothers wake up. Daegon basically made the Red Dragon clan, named after Caro who's basically Taven's spirit animal and he helps bring about the apocalypse. Taven's character can be summed up to "Who are you? Who's that? Uuuuh..." But that's what I love about him. Anyways, Taven looks for his asshole brother, de-frosts a bad bitch and kicks everyone's ass. Which translates to what Armageddon really is. All the characters choose sides. We get one of the coolest fmv sequences in PS2 history and everyone dies trying to take Blaze's power. Blaze is a demigod-esque creation made by Argus to warn Taven and Daegon about the apocalypse, but also whoever kills him, gains his power and basically becomes the developer of the game. But because Taven is the main character, he has to kill everyone he encounters, a few of those people being one's he was proud to call friends. He climbs to the top, kills Daegon, destroys Blaze and saves the universe, the end.

Yeah I lied lol

Netherrealm Era

After Armageddon, Midway shut down, Warner Brothers bought Mortal Kombat and Netherrealm studios took over the franchise and this is where it all went downhill.

Mortal Kombat 9 starts with the end of the previous game. Except it doesn't, because Taven is somehow not here and Shao Kahn walked all the way back to kill him after being carried away by Onaga. Before Shao Kahn crushed him, Raiden sends a message to his past self saying only three things. "He Must Win.". We are now in the first Mortal Kombat except it's HD and Johnny is down bad for Sonya. Sonya is here just so she can find Jax who's lost on the island somewhere, Bi-Han is a bit of a prick and Shang Tsung is the only character in the game who has common sense. Liu Kang beats Shang Tsung, Jax gets his arms ripped off by Ermac, Johnny only gets to win if he has a suit and Mileena gets the most revieling outfit in fighting game history. Kitana and Liu Kang have an on and off thing, Reptile gets bullied (poor thang) and before Kuai Liang can kill Scorpion for killing his brother, he's taken away by the cyber Lin Kuei because Raiden saved Smoke from being cyberized and he says there's nothing he can do (that's bullshit but okay). Anyways, Kung Lao is doing pretty good in the tournament and then Shao Kahn snaps his neck. Feeling horrible by the death of his Shaolin brother, Liu Kang jumps in the arena and fists Shao Kahn. Sometime later, we learned that Shao Kahn survived because they put him in the Soul Chamber, a place in the Outworld arena that heals any and all wounds. He then gets the idea by Quan Chi to invade Earthrealm which completely goes against the laws of Mortal Kombat. And Shang Tsung knows and wants to stop them, but Shao Kahn doesn't fucking care and erased him from existance. they get guns from Kano, and they start blasting. Army can't do shit and somehow, a single cop (Stryker) is able to fight off A lizard man, a fire breathing cat and the only thing in Outworld that knows what pronouns are. Kabal was here too, but only for the first two fights. But he doesn't get his super speed here because he's just an average dude and maybe dating Stryker? I don't know. Anyways Kabal gets roasted by a big buff cat, taken to the Black Dragon and given a respiratory device by Kano that helps him breathe. He's basically Deadpool - the guns + super speed because the magic atmosphere of Outworld gave him that. Don't ask how anyone else got that after going to Outworld, idk🤷‍♀️. Anyways Quan Chi and Bitch-han bring back Sindel and mind control her to do their biding. Meanwhile, our heroes that consist of Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Jax Briggs, Night Wolf, Cyber Sub Zero, Smoke, Kitana, Stryker, Kabal, Kitana and Liu Kang sit and do nothing. The Bastard Sektor walks in and with his Cyber Lin Kuei to tire out the heroes until Sindel arrives, the worst scene in MK history plays because the purple bitch kills damn near everyone and kicks Smoke in the nads, and then Night Wolf, the most forgettable Mortal Kombat character kills Sindel by Hail Mary. Raiden looks for help of Quan Dale Dingle, but he instead of helping, brings everyone who died back as revenants, which are basically zombies but with memories of the ones who died and they are pretty strong. Raiden fights three at once, Kills Liu Kang because he fears Shao Kahn is going to kill him and with the power of the Elder Gods, Raiden goes super Saiyan and does a Kamehameha, killing Shao Kahn. Yeah all of that was one game.

Mortal Kombat X (or as dip shits would call it mk 10) starts with Johnny, Sonya and Kenshi fighting revenant Sub Zero (who's a human revenant because of MKX prequel comic nonsense don't worry about it), Smoke who isn't even playable, Sindel who's a bitch through and through and Jax, who in a minute turns back into a human because of unexplained reasons, but I guess by killing his revenant, Liu, Kitana and Lao who are some. it turns out they were going to the Jin Sei chamber (earthrealm's life force that is pure light) where Quan Chi and his boss, Shinnok exact their plan of taking over Earthrealm by putting Shinnok into the Jin Sei, corrupting it and turning him into a super Saiyan but he looks like a devil, so kind of like a ssj4 thing? Doesn't matter because Johnny learns he has God killing powers and uses them to punch Shinnok in the nuts. Raiden seals him and the rest of the game is now a 20 years time skip. And now we have the next gen of kombatants, called the Kombat Kids by the fans. You got Cassie Cage the mc, Jaqui Briggs, who's basically Jax 2.0, Kung Jin, Lao's cousing who fights with a bow and Takeda, who has whips, bombs and a fuckin lightsaber. Anyways other new characters you have are Kotal Kahn who took over the throne, Erron Black who is the Cowboy and D'vorah, a character that absolutely everyone hates because she kills Mileena, who had a civil war with Kotal for the throne. Also Scorpion, now Hanzo Hasashi kills Quan Chi after learning it was him who disguised himself as Bi-Han to kill the Shirai Ryu out of spite I guess? D'vorah betrays Kotal, Almost kills Johnny but does get wrecked by Cassie who does also have the same God killing powers as Johnny, and he uses them to punch Shinnok in the nuts. Raiden puts himself in the Jin Sei Chamber because Shinnok corrupted it. Raiden purifies the Jin Sei and everyone gets a happy ending. Except Shinnok, who gets decapitated by dark Raiden.

Mortal Kombat 11 is a flawed masterpiece, and that flaw is the multiverse bullshit. So basically, Shinnok's mom Kronika who's like the keeper of time, wants to kill the entire universe because it's not balanced (shut the fuck up, ya bitch). Anyways, we got Geras, who can never die because he's a fixed point in time but is mostly known for pounding ass in the next game, Kollector who is the IRS and I hate him, and Centrion who is Shinnok's sister. There's also he Frozen bad bitch from earlier and her name is Frost, who is like Sub Zero minus but she's cyberized like Sektor and Cyrax who are in this game but unplayable (WHY NETHERREALM!). Anyways while remaking the timeline, Kronika accidentally summoned past versions of Liu Kang, Kitana, Kung Lao, Jade (who was dead but I didn't give a shit to introduce her at the start) and also she has maybe done it with Kotal (LITTERALY oc x canon shit) ((Also Jade doesn't kill D'vorah when given the chance, the stupid bitch)), Jax and a past version of Erron Black, even though he's still alive??, and also Shao Kahn with the coolest design of all time. Also Barraka is back, because I forgot to mention the bug bitch killed him too. Anyways, now we're spending the game beating up but rarely killing beloved characters. The cyber Lin Kuei and Frost and old Jax invade their ship that they use to get to Kronika's keep. Young Liu Kang dies, but Raiden fuses with revenant Liu Kang and that turns Liu Kang into a fake Gogeta, aka Fire God Liu Kang (any of this starting to sound like fanfiction?). Anyways they make it to the island where Kronika's keep is and then, everyone but Liu Kang gets Thanos snapped. Liu kills all the leveled up revenants, Glasses Kronika and brings back Raiden to help him rewrite history.

JUST KIDDING RETCONNED FUCK YOOPUUUUU HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAJ FUNNEE

uuuuuuugh alright I got two more story modes to do, holy fuck it's okay I can do this shit

The MK11 expansion, Aftermath, brings back Sheeva, who is now queen of the Shokan, the same species as Goro and Kintaro (the fire breathing cat from MK9), Night Wolf, Fujin the wind God and brother of Raiden, and Shanga langa ding dong. Fujin, Night Wolf and Shang were all locked away in a place beyond time until just now somehow (just roll with it okay? Okay). The plot of this story expansion is basically, Liu Kang wants to reset the universe, but he can't because he doesn't have Kronika's crown, which is needed to do the universe reset. So our boy Liu takes the two idiots and Shang into the past. I just now realized, Raiden is the only smart person in this game, because he knows Shang Tsung is planning something devious. Liu maybe knows but plays it off. They go back to previous points in the game to get the crown, revive Sindel who says she was mind controlled but later she says she's evil from the start (holy fuck I want to kill her and then myself). They get a boatsman, Kahron, to take them to the keep. In the process, D'vorah kills the poster boy of the franchise (Dominic I will fucking end your bloodline). Sindel gets Shao Kahn, heals his eyes that were sliced out by Kitana, they kill Liu and Lao, Shang reveals that he wants to reset the timeline (Fujin you stupid) , he Soul sucks Sindel and Shao Kahn, kills Kronika, but before he can do anything with Kronika's Hourglass, Liu Kang breaks in, kicks Shang Tsungs ass and reboots the series one more fucking time, which brings us to...

MORTAL 1 KOMBAT (or Mortal Kombat 1

This game starts with Shang Tsung being a failing snake oil salesman because he can barely survive. Then someone who looks like Kronika comes in and he makes this face

Best game of all time.

Anyway, we're introduced to Kung Lao and baby boy Raiden, who are farmers but also train Martial arts under the belt of Madame Bo, this universes version of Bo Rai Cho and she runs a kitchen, what more could you want with a grandma. Later, the Lin Kuei invade and we get the return of my boy Smoke who now has a Karambit and is voiced by Spiderman. He's Joined by Kuai Liang who is now Scorpion, and Bi-Han Sub Zero, the worst he's ever been i hate him. It's like they took his personality from Mortal Kombat 11 and slapped it over a poor man's imitation. Kung Lao kicks all three of their asses but only because they were pulling their punches. They join Liu who is basically Raiden now, and look for Johnny Cage, who's having a one-sided argument with his wife, and then she leaves and doesn't come back. Then, Kenshi breaks in, wanting Sento, the sword of his family which now lays on displayed on Johnny's wall. They fight, and Johnny beats him effortlessly. Johnny ties him to a chair and interrogates him until Liu Kang, along with Scorpion and Sub Zero walk in, which leads to one of the most iconic moments in the franchise

They want to untie Kenshi, but Johnny doesn't want that and thinks this is a prank, so he tries to play along but ends up being tossed into a million dollar statue, which triggers him and Johnny starts beating the shit out of Bitch-Han. Liu intervenes before Johnny can do his second fatality on him.they all go to the Wu Shi monk academy, where they train for the Great Tournament between Earthrealm and the realm of Outworld (that's LITTERALY what they call it, I'm not joking). Raiden beats them all using the one move he has, advance Cartwheel kick. Winning, Raiden is chosen to represent Earthrealm. And for winning, Liu Kang gives him a lightning amulet, which gives him lightning powers so he can fairly combat the Outworld fighters. Entering Outworld through a portal created by Liu, they are introduced by Kitana, Mileena and the palace guard, so-called the Umgadi, featuring two returning characters, one of which does nothing and the other was just a barrier. The one's i speak of are Khameleon and Tanya, the first canon lesbian in Mortal Kombat who has a thing going on with Mileena. Li Mei is back and... She's voiced by Kelly Hu. No wonder I forget she's in this game all the time. but along Li Mei, we have Shao Kahn, who is now degraded to General Shao, and his second in command, Reiko. I forgot to mention that Sindel is in this game and for the first time in the series, I don't mind her. She's a sweet, caring mother who is actually a mother to both Kitana and Mileena. Shao is now jobbing more than ever, from losing to a farmer, to being wrecked by queen. After winning the tournament, Liu Kang sends Kung Lao, Johnny and Kenshi to look for Shang Tsung, as it's word that he's somewhere in Outworld. The tremendous trio find a colony of Tarkatans, Outworlders infected by a disease called Tarkat, which deforms and debilitates. Shang Tsung is there and plans to harvest their marrow for a cure for Mileena, who as we find out, she has Tarkat. After a few fights, Kenshi pushes Johnny out of the way, as Mileena has gone feral, took some sais of the table, and stabs Kenshi's eyes out. As this happens Shao and tiny ass Goro walk in and take them to Shang Tsung's true lab, the Flesh Pits where Reptile works for him because Shang says he has his family captive. But as it's revealed, this isn't the case, as Shang already killed them many moons ago. This makes Reptile (aka Syzoth) have anger. They toxic gas the place and we get a Test Your Might to survive. They escape, but as they walk through the Living Forrest, they encounter Ashrah, a demon from the Netherrealm killing demons and almost killing our heroes. Also she says Demons funny. Like... DEE-MUNZ!

Anyways, she joins the party and they search for Quan Chi, who used to be dead, but is now an escaped cole miner and also black. The way Ashrah knows where Quan Chi is because she has a magic sword called the Kriss, and she uses it to purge evil from her soul, by killing other demons. We then find Quan Chi and his jobber squad consisting of Havik who is horribly lame in comparison to his older version and design from Deception, Sareena, Ashrah's so-so sister, Darius, aka Wesley Snipes' Blade with a dash of A-Train from the boys on the side, and the absolute dog shit tier downgrade of all time, Nitara is back, and nothing that made her cool is here. She isn't cool, her design is mid at best, her head looks like an onion, and the one thing that everyone hates about Nitara in this game, is that she's voiced by Megan Fox. Megan, Goddamn, Fox. Her performance is so goddamn awful that people actually prefer Rhonda Rousey's Sonya Blade from MK11. Anyways enough bitching, because Ashrah, with the help of a Reptile kameo beats the jobber squad, but just too late to stop Quan Chi from making a tornado of souls, which he uses to create Ermac, and then does this "who's mans is this" lookin' pose as he says kill them.

In between this and Ashrah vs Quan Chi and Ermac, Johnny thanks Kenshi for saving his life, and gives him Sento, which he uses to assist Ashrah in the clobbering of Quan Chi. Now they return to the streets of Outworld's capital, Sun Do to look for a way back home. They disguise themselves, run into the Umgadi, get away and now it's Li Mei's turn to shine.

I forgot everything that happens in her chapter.

The Lin Kuei infiltrate a palace where Shang Tsung is, but while they are terrible at being stealthy, they aren't in beating Shang and Quan. But In the process, Bi-Han admits he let his and Kuai's father die, just so he can be the Lin Kuei's grandmaster. Smoke waits outside and does nothing till Kuai Liang escapes. And when Bi-Han comes out and leaves a scar on Kuai's face, even then, Smoke does literally nothing. All the characters who had their own parts in the storyline + Mileena (as it's her time to shine). They head to the Fortress where Ermac almost rips off Bi-Han's arms, fight Ermac, but it turns out the soul of Mileena and Kitana's father, Jerrod is inside Ermac...

That came out wrong... Or did it?

Anyways, they break in, Kitana almost fools General Shao and Shang Tsung right before Shang Bang puts on a crown, that awakens the Dragon Kings army and a a fake Sindel kills the queen, but Jerrod, who is still in control of Ermac, takes her soul before it leaves her body, storing Sindel as a part of Mac n' cheese. They head all come to discover that it wasn't Kronika at the intro, but instead was Shang Tsung from another timeline where he won in MK11,

HOW

DO

YOU

DO

FELLOW

KIDS???!!!

Anyways, 11 Shang, who we will now call Titan Shang, has a plan to rewrite Liu Kang's timeline (the one everything else I just talked about in this entry takes place) and bring absolute fucking chaos with his team of evil time lords. Liu Kang, being the reasonable person he is, summons an army of good time lords and they all fight on the same pyramid that Armageddon's ending took place. For the first time in the entire series, you get to pick your own character for the finale. And based on the character you pick, you get a different variants of characters, most commonly fusions of already existing characters. Finally, you beat Shang and Quan, you get a thanks from Liu, and sent to Madame Bo's, where the Earthrealm heroes enjoy food and tea.

*HEAVY BREATHS*

So, that's the entirety of Mortal Kombat. Any questions?