#and the whole crew helping the oma goat

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[salty-dracon]

ace hang plays noctis umbra part 3

SINS OF ANGELS | Noctis Umbra Part 3 | Ace Hang Plays Otome

(Yes, they do have semi-serious titles when shit hits the fan)

Last time on Ace Hang Plays Otome: 

Lily: Wow, he’s UGLY. How the FUCK is this guy a SUCCUBUS he’s UGLY

Brid: Well, technically he’d be an incubus. Because he’s a guy. 

Lily: That doesn’t change the fact that he’s UGLY

Brid: Maybe he radiates some kind of.... hot energy-

Lily: THE. ONLY ENERGY. THAT FUCKER RADIATES. IS CATCALLING YOU FROM HIS 2002 HONDA CIVIC WHILE WEARING A TWO YEAR OLD SWEAT-COVERED WIFE BEATER ENERGY. 

Brid: You don’t-

Lily: HE LOOKS LIKE A GIJINKA FOR THE WORD DOMESTIC ABUSE

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Lily: Hey, everyone! Ace Hang here! I’m Lily!

Brid: I’m Brid! 

(Val and Arthur pop in from the sides) 

Val: I’m Val!

Arthur: And I’m Arthur! 

All: And we’re playing Noctis Umbra Chapter Two! 

Brid: Yes, that’s right! The whole gang’s here and together for a nice round of otome! 

Val: It’s summer vacation, and our Minecraft 1.14 series will be up as soon as 1.14.2 is out, just so all of the bugs are ironed out. We’re planning to play multiplayer and do experiments to keep all of your spirits up. 

Lily: I’m super excited. 

Arthur: Yeah, same. We’ve got tons of plans! 

Brid: But for now, Noctis Umbra Chapter 2 is out, and when we last left off, we learned that Valerius was lying to us again. 

Lily: Also our dad is ugly and evil. 

Arthur: Rana is a queen. 

Val: Thor was there...?

Brid: .... Yeah, basically. Let’s get back to the action! 

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Lily: A Kapre. A stalker.... Do you guys know anything about that? 

Val: Capre.... Caper... 

Brid: Oh, Capra demon. Remember that 4chan post? 

Val: Oh yeah! 

Arthur: ...? 

Lily: Super sexy demon or something. In the post he had a goat skull head. Wonder what this boi’s gonna look like. 

Arthur: He’ll either be adorable or ugly.  

(Efren appears) 

Lily: ffffFFWAHAHAHA WHAT IS THAT

Brid: That is not what I was expecting. 

Arthur: I was expecting like, James Bond, not a guy in a mohawk wearing a Minecraft shirt! 

Val: Wow. Holy shit. Oh my god. He looks like a cis guy decided to dress like a  fucking drag queen for Halloween without knowing what a drag queen was. He looks like someone who unironically enjoys Kingdom Hearts and somehow mixed in a shitty hacker aesthetic. He looks like a 30 year old virgin who also runs a gaming channel that relies on clickbait for income. He looks like a guy cosplaying as his own My Hero Academia OC. He looks like-

Brid: Okay, that’s enough. 

Lily: He looks like that one Invader Zim character watches anime all day in his basement-

Brid: Stop it. Anyway, looks like he’s with the enemy... and wants to recruit us... and give us cookies. 

Lily: Cookies. Om nom nom. 

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Lily: WAHAHA they’re good cookies. 

Brid: I love the little package of cookies on her lap. 

Val: Seriously, I’d kill a guy who gave me too many cookies, though. At 3am. Every day. 

Lily: “You’re just grumpy because you’re hungry. You’re hangry.”

Arthur: “I am not hangry!”

Lily: “You sound hangry!”

Val: And Tae steals the cookies. And they’re good. 

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Val: You know, I’m glad the main characters are warming up to Tora. Not treating her like a kid. 

Brid: She’s learning high school chemistry, so I don’t think it’s out of the question that she’s at least fifteen. 

Arthur: Yeah. And MyDude is treating her very nicely. 

Val: Yeah. I’m glad. Like seriously, edgy war stories just... hate kids. Like, fuck the kids. Adults are the only ones that survive here. 

Lily: Yeah, it’s nice change of pace. EY, RANA! Look, Arthur. That’s my favorite character. 

Arthur: I see.

Val: Honestly, the whole Noctis Umbra crew is great. Except for Valerius. Fuck that guy. 

Arthur: I think he might have a reason for keeping those secrets of his, though. 

Val: This is coming from the same guy who actually trusts the rich kid in the other one they were playing. Fuck, I forget his name. 

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Val: “Ae-ri needs your help grocery shopping.”

Lily: I’m gonna be super surprised if it’s not like the South Asian market my parents visit for cheap spices. 

Brid: Seriously, what else do you expect from this game? 

.........

Brid: Yes, that’s the last place I expected to find a bunch of underworld denizens that are part demon or something. Going shopping at a grocery store. And not a South Asian market.

Lily: What, did you think they subsided on human energy alone? 

Val: I mean, Tae lives offa sweets. First he ate his sister’s cheesecake, then he ate those cookies, then he ate that pudding... he’s just got a big sweet tooth.

Lily: Oh, big mood, Tae. I like him. He and Keelan are so funny. Everyone’s just laying into him. 

Arthur: “That’s a lot of hot sauce...” 

Brid: I see we’ve got our own weird tastes... 

Val: Ha. Melons. Innuendos. 

Lily: Or Avatar reference. 

Arthur: ... 

Brid: What’s up?  

Arthur: Imagine- meanwhile in the aisle next door, Riley hits her teacher with a shopping cart!

Lily: That would be an amazing easter egg. Keelan’s looking for his paint, barely dodges a chaotic dumbass bisexual disaster, she immediately hits someone else who happens to be her teacher. 

Val: Said teacher was also hacking the grocery store’s WiFi with his phone, which proceeds to fall into the lobster tank. 

Lily: Not saying Riley wouldn’t do that. 

(Small animation with bad doodles)

Arthur: I imagine Keelan’s like... “Alright... broad paintbrush, purple acrylic paint... ” and he just hears screaming, and there’s Riley just narrowly missing him and slamming right into her teacher. 

Brid: You say that like she intentionally hit him. 

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Val: OH GOD IT’S THE UGLY GUY!

Lily: Damn. That’s the first thing you fixate on?

Arthur: Oh boy. Something’s going down... 

Lily: Is Valerius here? Is that why she’s- Oh, hey Luca. 

Val: Oh my god, it’s Tall Evil Valerius. 

Brid: He’s so tall we can’t even see the top of his head. 

Lily: That’s funny, because I always imagined Valerius to be like, 5′4... 

Val: His name is “Aleron”. HOLY FUCK HE JUST KILLED LUCA

Arthur: OH MY GOD

Lily: WELL THAT’S NOT GOOD AT ALL IS IT

Brid: FUCKING DEAD. PRESS F. 

Lily: REMINDER TO HIT THAT F BUTTON IF YOU’RE ANGRY THAT LUCA JUST DIED

Brid: AND SHE JUST OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRUS HIM

--------------

Lily: That feeling when you teleport the enemy leader right into your base. 

Val: Fucking seriously. The whole crew must be having aneurysms. 

Arthur: Ha. “I leave you alone for two seconds and you start a world war.”

Lily: Welcome back to another episode of “Man with half the facts in heated debate with man with zero facts”. 

(Meme appears on screen with the two men’s faces replaced with Leo and Valerius)

Brid: More like “Two men seriously think they know what’s right for the world as a whole based on flawed information”. 

Val: “Where’s her room?!” “She doesn’t have one.” “Where does she sleep?!” “The couch.” 

Brid: Get ready for Angry Father Rage. 

Val: “YOU LET MY DAUGHTER SLEEP ON A COUCH?!”.... DAMMIT why did the scene have to end there. 

Lily: So you wouldn’t have to yell at yourself?

------------------

Val: “Your mother loved heights too-” Sheesh, did she love jumping off them?!

Lily: Fucking hell. Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what he meant, though. 

Brid: Yeah, this guy’s kind of an asshole, to be honest. 

Arthur: I guess with the whole unification thing, they need her. 

Lily: I love how she’s mad Aleron killed Luca because she wanted to punch him in the face. 

----------------

Val: Oh boy, things are heating up. So because of the prophecy, the demon kids are all uniting, and the angels wanna beat em back. And they took over a human organization to do it. 

Lily: Angels. It’s always angels. 

Brid: Do any of you like Valerius any more now? 

Val: NO. He’s kind of a dickhead. Still. 

Arthur: At least he’s telling us more. 

Brid: Yeah, very true. 

Val: Why does Valerius look at us and see everything right with Nocturnals? We’re an angry district attorney who sucks the life out of people with the power of Satan and anime. 

Lily: Angels. It’s always angels. 

Arthur: You said that. 

Brid: I did say I’d romance Valerius, so-

Val: WAIT I NEVER SAID I’D DO A KISS SCENE-

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Lily: And with that, looks like we’ve reached the end of Chapter 3! What do you guys think? This is your first time playing with us, right?

Val: ... Why do I have to be rolled up in the politics of white men? 

Lily: Pretty sure Leo’s Latino. 

Val: Still. 

Brid: Politics, politics. I still do love the group dynamic between the Noctis Umbra crew, though. Not Valerius, just MyDude, Ae-ri... 

Arthur: Tae, Keelan, and Rana. Yeah. And whoever else I’m forgetting. They’re very cute together, and it kinda sucks that they’re dealing with the whole underground war thing, otherwise I feel like we’d get a lot of cute scenes with them. 

Lily: Very true. Any theories? 

Arthur: Remember when Valerius called MyDude Umbra? I think it’s because she’s the kid of both an angel and a demon. 

Brid: Oooooo. What do you have to back it up? 

Arthur: We don’t see much about her mother. Apparently she left her in an orphanage named after a saint. Also, Leo mentioned that the mom loved heights. Besides the jumping implication, it might mean that she’s an angel. Maybe one that couldn’t fly.

Lily: I think umbra does mean shadow, which evokes themes of both light and darkness, so it’s very possible. 

Brid: Interesting. Well, we’ve been recording for an hour, so I think that’s all the time we have for today. 

Lily: Sweet! 

Brid: Can’t wait to see where this story takes us next! And we’re planning our next playthrough to probably be either the next part of Oathbreaker, or Hatoful Boyfriend. 

Val: Make sure to like and subscribe for more content, and stay classy!