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tanadrin · 7 years ago

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A Short Description of the Government and Society of Nihwar

IN THE MANNER of such Travelers that have gone before me, as the learned Hythlodaeus and the doughty Gulliver, I offer here a Brief Account of my journeys in a far-distant Land, which is known in its own tongue as NI-HWAR; its people being one of those Ancient and Lost Tribes of Europe, viz., the OSTROGOTHS. They, like me, stumbled across this Rugged and Remote Island while wandering in the Carpathians, being Accosted by an emotionally unstable Wormhole--I, on my Summer Holiday, they during one of their ancient Migrations through the Dark Forests of the Long Medium Aevum. Blessedly, though they perforce settled in that rugged country, they have in the intervening Centuries made it a Hospitable and Modern Civilisation, and I was able to catch an Easy-Jet Flight home. Though my Sojurn in those parts was but a few Weeks, I found that, though their language was Uncouth, their Manners Strange, and their Mores Foreign, I found it most Instructive on matters pertaining to the Ideal State of the Human Animal, and its relation to Society and Government. In the Spirit both of such Journeys as Mine, and as a Concession to Modern Aestheticks, I have elected to render the remainder of this Account in the Manner of an Article from Wikipedia.

[This started out as an attempt to collect semi-realistic ideas on a practical utopia, from the grandiose to the mundane; it ended up mostly as a parody of the Wikipedia article on Iceland, littered with puns based on shoddy historical linguistics. Make of it what you will.]

Niwhar (/ˈnɪhʷar/), officially the Oathbound Kindreds of the Woodlands and the Windlands (Nihwaran: Aithbundana Kunja þize Widiwlanda iþþize Windlanda) is an island country located in the [REDACTED] Sea. It has a population of 162,511 and an area of 25,201 km. The capital and largest city is Nibaurgs. Located near the Mid-[REDACTED] Rift, Nihwar is volcanically active. The southern, western, and eastern fringes of the island are bordered by high mountains, and the northern coast is cut off by ice nine months of the year. The only warm-water port on the island is Grewsteins, on the eastern shore of Rignwato Bay.[1] The interior of the island is a mix of boreal forest in the south and tundra in the north.

According to the ancient manuscripts of the Skitagsailandboka, Nihwar was settled by a band of wandering Ostrogoths, whose chieftain refused to ask for directions,[2] “even long after it became clear that this was not the way to Italy.”[3] Over subsequent centuries, the small population of Goths was augmented by Viking exiles, Inuit fishermen, and a boatload of “very confused” Maghrebi pirates. The island was loosely organized into often-feuding chiefdoms until the beginning of the 14th century, when Heidrek the Hairless united representatives of the entire island at the First Thing (Nihwaran Gothic: Þingamaidjig). Although occasionally interrupted by civil strife, constitutional crises, war, and abuse of the rules on filibusters, Things continually met at semi-regular intervals until the early 1800s. In 1811, due to political disorganization caused by a growing population and influential new political ideas imported from Europe and North America, a constitutional convention was called at Nibaurgs, which after three years produced the Constitutions of Niwhar, the basis of its modern government.

Political reforms accompanied economic reforms, and Niwhar expanded from a primarily subsistence-farming based economy to one based heavily on mining, lumber, and fossil fuels. Modern Nihwar is one of the wealthiest countries in Eurasia, with the 12th-highest GDP in the world.

Nihwaran culture is founded on the nation’s eclectic heritage and industrious, if occasionally rowdy, spirit. The main language of Nihwar is Nihwaran Gothic, a highly conservative East Germanic language which has remained almost unchanged for the past twelve hundred years.[4][5][6] The country’s rich cultural heritage includes traditional cuisine,[7] the Nihwaran saga,[8] and small, careful arrangements of rocks.

Contents 1 Etymology 2 History 3 Geography 4 Politics 5 Economy 6 Demographics 7 Culture 8 References 9 Further Reading

ETYMOLOGY The origin of the common name for the country, “Nihwar,” is unrecorded, but it is noted in the Skitagsailandboka that it was “considered appropriate for the condition and climate of the region in which we found ourselves.” The formal name of the country is a reference to the oath sworn to the national constitutions at the First Thing, as well as the various chieftaincies and tribal divisions which formally constitute the federal structure of Nihwaran government.

HISTORY The Settlement Period: ca. 550 - 800 See also: Scitagsailandboka

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Feuding Chiefdoms See also: War of the Horse, War of the Bucket (Nihwar), The Fight Behind Athanaric’s Barn (1104), War of the Insult to Gryggja’s Mother, War over Who Gets Granny Hervar’s Silver, The Fight Behind Athanaric’s Barn (1202), The Fight Behind Athanaric’s Barn (1211)

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Early Modern Period See also: Rediscovery of Nihwar, Second Rediscovery of Nihwar, The Existence of Nee-Warr: Fact or Fiction? (1602)

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Constitutional Convention This section is a stub. You can help by adding to it.

19th Century This section is a stub. You can help by adding to it.

20th & 21st Centuries This section is a stub. You can help by adding to it.

Geography This section is a stub. You can help by adding to it.

POLITICS Nihwar has a multi-party political system. Its most recent election was in 2016, resulting a parliament led by a center-left coalition, and the re-election of the incumbent Lawspeaker, Ragnagild Thiudareiksdauhtar. The largest party, and the leader of the governing coalition, is the Nihwaran Citizen’s League.[9]

Politics on the cantonal and municipal level tends to be heavily contested in Nihwar, and many regional, local, and single-issue parties exist that do not contest elections on the national level. Some national parties, like the NCL, tend to be formed by shifting coalitions of smaller parties, while others are of longer-standing duration.

By law, all campaigns in Nihwar are publicly funded, and restricted to the 60-day period before each election.

Constitutions Nihwar has two constitutions. The first and elder is the Grundlags, adopted by the Thing in 1811 (subsequently heavily amended). The Grundlags lays out the structure of federal government, the rights of the cantons, and the shared competencies of the cantons and federal government. The second constitution, the Mannareihtsleistan, adopted in the 1920s, enumerates individual rights of citizens and residents of Nihwar, including rights which the federal and cantonal governments are obligated to protect, as well as rights which are also protected from infringement by private agents.

Federal Government Nihwar is a federal republic comprised of nine cantons (six of which are divided into half-cantons), organized under a presidential system, though it is sometimes characterized also as a semi-presidential system. The head of state and government in Nihwar is the Lagsogareis, elected every four years by popular vote, who administers foreign policy, the diplomatic service, and acts as head of the armed forces should the need arise. The legislature is the Kunsamnonunga, which is elected every two years. The largest party in the Kunsamnonunga, if a majority, or the largest coalition of parties, has the right to select the Kunsogareis, who administers domestic and economic policy. Although formally the Lagsogareis is responsible for the appointment of heads of executive departments, in practice executive appointments are the result of consultation between the Lagsogareis and the Kunsogareis. In the event of the death or incapacity of the Lagsogareis, the Kunsogareis can temporarily assume the powers of the office.

The Kunsamnonunga is elected from single-member districts using range voting. Before 1996, Kunsamnonunga elections used the single-transferable vote system. Range voting was adopted as part of the 2005 electoral reform package, which first applied to the 2006 federal election.[10] Candidates are assigned ratings from 1 to 5, with 5 indicating highest preference; multiple candidates may be assigned the same number. The candidates with the highest overall ratings are elected to office. In addition to being the legislature, the Kunsamnonunga is responsible for reviewing executive and judicial appointments, via constitutionally prescribed standing committees.

The cantonal governments are also entitled to send representatives Dailsamnonunga, where each canton has two votes, which must be cast together in the case of unified cantons, and are cast separately by each half-canton in the case of divided cantons. The Dailsamnonunga acts primarily as a coordination mechanism between cantons on matters not of particular relevance to the federal government, and is mostly used to negotiate and formalize inter-cantonal compacts and agreements.

Appointments to the federal judiciary are made by the National Judicial Committee, which is by law nonpartisan, and drawn from academic bodies, like the Law Faculty of the University of Nibaurgs, and senior federal judges. After an initial term of office, voters are required to approve newly-appointed judges as part of biennial federal elections, or their term immediately expires.

Federal law and civil rights case law mandates that electoral districts in Nihwar be drawn by nonpartisan committees, and observe the requirements of equal size, contiguousness, compactness, and geographic orderliness.[11]

The Lagredas is Nihwar’s supreme court, functioning both as the court of final appeal and the constitutional court. Laws may be referred to the Lagredas for review either by lawsuits, the Judicial Committee of the Kunjasamnonunga, or by the Lagsogareis. If a law is found to be unconstitutional, it is referred to the National Judicial Committee for revision, if it can be revised to be in harmony with the constitutions; if the NJC determines a law cannot be made constitutional without fundamental alteration, it is automatically repealed.

Cantons Nihwar has nine cantons: Nurþrata Windlands, Austrata Windlands, Tibrans, Fairgunjalands, Fonhullu, Bitrawidu, Sunthrastranda, Eisahwos, and Wostinjos. Six of the nine cantons--Tibrans, Fairgunjalands, Bitrawidu, Sunthrastranda, Eisahwos, and Wostinjos--are divided into half-cantons, their principal cities having a degree of autonomy that reflects the substantially different demographic and political makeup from the surrounding region.

Nihwaran cantons have wide latitude on culture, education, and land management; they share competency with the federal government on matters of transport, housing, criminal and civil law, foreign relations, and infrastructure. The federal government has exclusive competency on healthcare, defense, economic policy, and the national UBI.

Cantons are divided into Landkraitos and Baurgkraitos (municipalities and rural districts). Municipalities are governed by municipal councils, in conjunction with nonpartisan Municipal Planning Departments. MPDs are normally tasked with observing and forecasting local economic trends, in conjunction with the National Office of Statistics, and providing regular reports to the municipal council in order to formulate policies to avoid or ameliorate negative future trends: for instance, to encourage the building of additional housing, if a housing shortage is on the horizon. The NOS also furnishes MPDs with model land-use schemes to discourage urban sprawl and encourage efficient, mixed development.

Enclaves and subcommunities By law, any community of individuals has the right to establish an enclave outside an existing urban area, or a subcommunity within an urban area, either to “maintain a distinct cultural, philosophical, religious, or artistic identity,” or “for the purpose of pursuing a special artistic, scientific, academic, or spiritual aim.” Enclaves cannot be established on federally managed land, but enjoy exemption from many forms of local, cantonal, and federal taxation. Charters for enclaves are granted for 20-year intervals, and enclaves must meet specific criteria in order for charters to be renewed. Subcommunities, being dependent on urban infrastructure, enjoy fewer autonomous rights than enclaves but otherwise function in largely the same fashion.

Enclaves and subcommunities have consultative rights within cantonal assemblies and the Kunjasamnonunga, but do not have distinct voting representation.

Budget and taxation The primary methods of taxation in Nihwar are a Georgist land tax, based on the unimproved value of land, VAT, and an income tax on incomes above NWM 100,000 per annum. Financial transaction taxes and the Nihwaran Sovereign Wealth Fund are also used to fund certain social programs.

The primary government expenditures of Nihwar are the national UBI and the national healthcare system; these programs, as well as the civil defense budget and the internal development budget have their size fixed by law. Discretionary spending is determined biennially by the Kunjasamnonunga based on the General Tax Survey, in which citizens roughly indicate how they want the discretionary portion of the budget spent by allocating their tax returns to one or more general categories of spending.

Foreign Relations Nihwar has trade agreements with the European Union, Russia, Canada, and the Nordic countries. In addition, its cantons are permitted to conduct separate foreign policy in certain matters of particularly local interest; this has mainly been used by coastal cantons like Sunthrastranda to establish fisheries treaties with nearby nations.

Military Nihwar does not have a standing military. Disaster relief and the unlikely possibility of national defense are first and foremost the responsibility of the National Civil Defense Organization, a national service organization which also helps manage federal land, administers infrastructure projects, and conducts aid work in foreign countries.

Although there is no draft, at least one year of service in the NCDO exempts Nihwaran citizens from specific tax penalties after age 30 which scale with income, intended to prevent wealthier citizens from being more able to avoid service. By statute, service in some capacity, however ancillary to the main projects of the NCDO, is open to all citizens; the NCDO also provides job training in specific areas.

The NCDO is organized into pseudo-military “regiments,” each regiment drawing from as broad a cross-section of the population (economically and geographically) as possible, and each regiment cultivating its own unique espirit de corps. Regimental associations formed by former members of the NCDO are a significant feature of Nihwaran social life.

In the event of an invasion, defense would primarily be the responsibility of the National Sea Institute (the Nihwaran coast guard, a branch of the NCDO) and the Ranger Corps of the NCDO; the NCDO maintains a small body of trained officers and special forces personnel, intended to form the backbone of a larger military mobilization in the event of a serious military conflict.

Nihwar’s intelligence service operates primarily by leaking information on foreign governments to their local press or to international human rights watchdogs.

Criminal law Prisons do not exist in Nihwar.

The only classes of crime which can permanently deprive a Nihwaran citizen of their rights are public corruption or the infringement of human rights. Conviction for serious crimes in this category may result in the loss of the right to hold public office.

Immigration and naturalization Nihwar has open borders; anyone arriving at a sea port or airport in Nihwar is assumed to have the right of entry, and will not be refused unless it is discovered that they are wanted for a serious crime that is also in contravention of Nihwar’s laws, or they carry a serious, highly-contagious infectious disease (in which case they will simply be quarantined and treated).

Anyone born on the territory of Nihwar, or its isles and seas, is automatically a citizen of Nihwar, as is anyone born to a Nihwaran citizen. Anyone ordinarily resident in the country for one year or more (defined as registering their address at the local Kraitmelþogahausjands or online, or being able to demonstrate long-term residency through other criteria) can apply for provisional citizenship, which expires if one de-registers or moves away from Nihwar. Provisional citizenship can be converted to permanent citizenship after three years of ordinary residence in Nihwar. Nihwaran citizenship can also be granted by an act of the Kunjasamnonunga, or by order of the Lagsogareis.

ECONOMY The economy of Nihwar is mostly based on lumber, mining, oil drilling, and tourism.[12]

Currency The currency of Nihwar is the Nihwaran mark (NWM), equivalent to approximately EUR 0.80. The mark is managed by the Bank of Tibranbaurgs, which is part of the National Department of Statistics and Planning.

Healthcare Nihwar has a universal healthcare system, administered by the Institutes for Public Health. Healthcare is generally free to the end user everywhere in Nihwar.

Pharmeceuticals in Nihwar are prescription-only only if 1) the IPH has determined there is a high likelihood for abuse which could constitute a public health hazard, or 2) the drug is both sufficiently dangerous when improperly administered, and is difficult to correctly administer. In general, many more pharmeceuticals are available for purchase in a Nihwaran pharmacy than in most other countries. Recreational drugs are regulated under a similar regime.

Transport Eisarnreda Nihwar provides high-speed rail transport throughout the country. Municipal light rail services are available in Nibaurgs, Tibranbaurgs, Grewsteins, and Bitrasteins. An Eisarnkarta can be purchased in Nihwar, or online before traveling to Nihwar, which provides unified access to all buses, taxis, trains, ferries, and airline flights within Nihwar’s borders.

Privately owned automobiles not declared as a business expense for tax purposes are subject to a high annual tax.

Communication and advertising Radijonati Nihwar provides a free national broadband network and, in conjunction with municipal governments, local broadband and WiFi access; higher-speed providers are regulated by the Nihwaran Communications Authority. By statute, as many government services as possible must be accessible online.

The National Standards Agreement is an agreement negotiated by the government between Nihwar’s media outlets not to sensationalize coverage of mass violence, terrorism, or suicide.

Outdoor advertising is banned throughout Nihwar.[13]

Corporate governance The Nihwaran tax code strongly encourages the Nihwaran model of corporate governance, which involves employee ownership and the election of managers up to and including the senior management. Foreign companies operating in Nihwar are not required to conform to this standard, but will find their tax liability is somewhat reduced based on the percentage of their employees that belong to a Nihwaran union.

Labor relations are overseen by the Nihwaran Business and Labor Alliance, a non-governmental organization.

DEMOGRAPHICS This section is a stub. You can help by adding to it.

CULTURE Education Education is free from kindergarten through university; specialized professional job training programs and apprenticeships are also common in Nihwar, and 1 to 3-year non-university training courses are the means of entry into most non-academic professions. Further technical education is provided both through third-level institutions and the NCDO.

Language Nihwar has no official language, though Nihwaran Gothic is the major language of politics and academics. The minor dialects of Nihwaran Norse, Nihwaran Arabic,[14] and Nihwaran Greenlandic are spoken by about 35% of the population.

Sport The most popular sport in Nihwar is Nihwaran Skull Cricket, organized by the International Nihwaran Traditional Sports Association. The INTSA has been sanctioned repeatedly since the 1970s by international human rights organizations, mostly due to fallout related to the quadrennial Skull Cricket championships.

REFERENCES [1] ^ “The World’s Six Worst Vacation Destination” Buzzfeed.com, retrieved March 11, 2015 [2] ^ “The ‘Shitty Island Book’ and the Foundation of Nihwar,” Joseph Wright [3] ^ ibid. [4] ^ “Nihwaran Language Academy rejects neologisms proposal, will continue to refer to computers as ‘magic rocks’”, BBC News, January 5 2010 [5] ^ “The NLA: Linguistic Conservatives, or Linguistic Reactionaries?”, Journal of the Germanic Linguistics Association, June 2011 [6] ^ “Nihwaran Language Academy Barricades Conference Room Door, Won’t Stop Quoting Edmund Burke”, Nihwartimes.com, retrieved October 13, 2011 [7] ^ “Nihwaran Rock and Twig Soup, and other specialties,” Food.com, retrieved May 15, 2009 [8] ^ “Nihwaran Literature: A Mistake?” Joseph Wright. Wright notes that the Nihwaran saga is a primarily oral art form, and usually continues until someone in the back of the audience shouts “Bullshit!” They primarily concern feuds over cattle, the division of inheritance, and “stories about how Grandpappy froze to death back in aught three.” [9] ^ “Elections in Nihwar,” The Economist, March 15, 2016. The NCL is composed of several centrist parties, including the Sozjal-”Deimakratisk” Party (Marxist-Leninist), Niu Nihwar (Blairo-Clintonian Post-Socialist Chickenshit), and the Liberal-Allajans (Nakedly Plutocratic). Despite repeated complaints from the political leadership, the power of the Nihwaran Electoral Commission to add punctuation and snide commentary to the names of Nihwaran political parties remains immensely popular with the electorate. [10] ^ “Nihwaran President: ‘It Worked for Hot or Not; Why Not For Us?’” BBC News, October 11, 2005 [11] ^ Nihwar lacked gerrymandering rules until the 1960s, when a fortuitous coalition deal and an ambitious party leader managed to net the Nihwaran Miner’s League control of the national electoral comission and, subsequently, three Kunjasamnonuga majorities with less than four percent of the vote each time. The NML was subsequently banned and entire party leadership deported to Svalbard. [12] ^ VisitNihwar.su, accessed September 23, 2002. The current slogan for Nihwaran Tourism is “At Least We’re Not Svalbard,” which replaced its previous logo, “Come For the Cheap Cigarettes, Stay Because An Unpronounceable Volcano Grounded Your Flight.” The slogan before that was “Not As Depressing As The Pictures Make It Look.” [13] ^ “Protecting the Scenery - Sort of,” The Economist, June 2010. “In a new proposal pushed as a way to protect Nihwar’s natural beauty, the country’s president has proposed legislation that would ban outdoor advertising across the country. Critics from within the country have answered mostly with ‘what natural beauty?’ But the real pressure seems to be coming from the Nihwaran Union of Poster Stickers, who have reported a record number of cases of summer frostbite this year, and whose leader seems to be old friends with Mr. Skildus.” [14] ^ “Nihwaran Arabic,” Journal of Obscure Languages, Autumn 1983. “Nihwaran Arabic is unique in two respects: first, it is the only Afro-Asiatic language spoken above the Arctic Circle; second, it is the only language--on Nihwar or anywhere else in the world--written with runes. Considering that the Nihwarans have never used runes to write their language, and Arabic speakers did not arrive on the island until the runic alphabet had been extinct elsewhere in Europe for centuries, the use of runes to write this peculiar dialect has never been satisfactorily explained.”

FURTHER READING The Living Goths: Nihwar, its Land, and Peoples, Joseph Wright, 1906 Al-Jazirat Al-Qabiha, Ibn Musafir, 1662 “The Forgettable Land,” National Geographic Magazine, Ann Bancroft, 2001 The Atlas of Remote Islands 2: Why Bother?, Judith Schalansky, 2014 The Oral Poetry of Nihwar: An Anthology, Penguin Books, 1992

#ramblings and doggerel #fiction #nihwar #abuse of the gothic language #tanadrin's fiction

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