#and the texts make an appearance again because they fit and that's the only reason

[cataclysmictide]

I WOULD'VE DIED FOR YOUR SINS

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong/The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Taylor Swift/Unknown/All Too Well: Short Film/Gilmore Girls (2001)/Lie To Girls - Sabrina Carpenter/The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Taylor Swift/Gilmore Girls (2001)/Unknown/Cold As You - Taylor Swift/The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Taylor Swift

[eu-nicola]

not yours part 3

summary: Rafe Cameron is the perfect boyfriend… but not yours, but Sofia’s. However, fate plays against you when you become the only person capable of understanding him in his darkest moments. What begins as a dangerous friendship soon becomes an attraction impossible to deny.

warnings: cheating maybe (yes)

word counter: 8960

author’s note: english is not my first language, penultimate part

tags: @xcinnamonmalfoyx @immyowndefender @tmlinsito

The days began to change subtly, as if something in the air had become different. Rafe was moving away from Sofia, but not in an obvious way. At first, they were small details that went unnoticed: messages that arrived late, plans that were cancelled with a vague excuse, and an increasingly frequent absent look.

Sofia, always sure of her relationship, tried to justify it. Maybe he was busy, maybe he needed time for himself. But with each passing day, the uneasiness grew in her, until she could no longer ignore it. There was something that didn't fit, a distance that wasn't there before.

One afternoon, while they were at your house, you noticed how his gestures had changed. His eyes no longer shone with the same confidence as before, and his hands nervously played with the cup of coffee. Although she tried to appear calm, the weight of doubt was wearing her down.

In silence, you listened to his words. She told you what had been going on: the distance, the excuses, the feeling that Rafe was somewhere else even when they were together.

Guilt settled in your chest. You knew that you had contributed, however silently, to that gap that now existed between them. Ever since that night when you almost crossed a line with Rafe, everything had changed. You had done everything you could to distance yourself, avoiding encounters, making excuses not to be around them. But the truth kept chasing you, and it seemed to be catching up with Rafe too.

Sofia tried to understand it, justify it, find a reason that would give her peace. But there was none. Rafe was distant because his mind was stuck somewhere else… or someone else.

“He’s always been so attentive to me,” she began, searching your eyes as if she could find an answer in them. “But now… now I barely feel him around.”

He asked you for advice, but you drew a blank. What could you say to him? The words seemed to get stuck in your throat, unable to come out.

You tried to comfort her. You told her that maybe it was a phase, that all couples go through difficult times. You assured her that Rafe loved her, even though your own words sounded hollow to you. Sofia wanted to believe it, and you wanted her to, because facing the truth would be too complicated.

You hugged her, trying to convey a security you didn’t feel. You knew she trusted you, that she always had. But this time, you felt like you were betraying that trust, caught between loyalty to your friend and the emotions that tied you to Rafe.

When Sofia left that afternoon, you were left alone, with too many thoughts running through your mind. Guilt invaded you once again.

Later that same night, your phone vibrated. It was a text from Rafe.

“Can we talk?”

You stared at the screen, hesitating. You knew the right thing to do would be to ignore it, to keep the distance you had tried to establish. But something inside you, that attraction you had been denying, made you hesitate.

"I don't think that's a good idea," you finally wrote, trying to maintain the firmness that was already beginning to fade.

The answer came almost immediately. "Please."

Your phone screen remained lit with Rafe’s last message. “Please,” he had typed. Just two words that echoed in your mind, like an echo that refused to go away. You tried to ignore it, to remember all the reasons why you shouldn’t get involved, but something in you gave in. Something always gave in when it came to him.

Finally, you gave in. You texted him a brief “Okay,” and before you could think twice, he replied with a clear address. “Come to my house. Sofia won’t be in tonight.”

Guilt crawled under your skin as you slipped on your shoes and grabbed your keys. You knew you shouldn’t go, but your feet seemed to have a mind of their own. You walked through the door of your house, knowing that at the end of this night, nothing would get better.

When you arrived at the mansion, the air was thick, heavy with unspoken words and repressed feelings. Rafe was waiting for you at the entrance, his intense gaze fixed on you from the moment you got out of the car. You didn't say anything at first, just walked in with a firm step, as if the decision to go there didn't weigh on you as much as it actually did.

The door closed behind you with a dry sound, isolating you from the outside world, leaving you alone with him and with everything you had tried to avoid. Rafe led you to the living room, but the silence you shared was too tense to be comfortable.

"Why did you ask me to come?" you finally said, breaking the silence, your voice a little rougher than you had planned. You didn't want to smooth things over, because this time he had to hear the truth.

"Because I wanted to see you," he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He came closer, crossing the distance between you as if there was no moral or emotional barrier separating you.

You took a step back. "You can't keep doing this, Rafe." It’s not right. Sofia is worried, and you just walk away from her without any explanation. It’s wrong what you’re doing.

He frowned, but he didn’t seem surprised. He was used to people telling him he was wrong, but he rarely cared.

“It’s not that simple,” he replied calmly, almost as if he didn’t want to argue.

“Yes, she is,” you insisted, crossing your arms in front of you like a protective barrier. “If you don’t want to be with her, tell her. Don’t leave her hanging, wondering what she did wrong.” Don't be a coward."

Your words were harsh, but honest. You couldn't stand to see Sofia suffer because of someone who didn't have the decency to be honest with her.

Rafe was silent for a moment, his eyes locked on yours. That look... that damn look that always seemed to pierce through you, read every corner of your thoughts.

"You think it's that easy?" he finally said, his voice low but laden with something deeper, something that seemed about to explode. "You think I don't know what I'm doing? But every time I'm with her, I only think about you."

Your breathing stopped for a second. You didn't expect him to say it, at least not so directly. You knew there was something between you, a tension you couldn't deny, but hearing it out loud made it all too real.

"That's not an excuse," you replied, though your voice trembled slightly. "Sofia doesn't deserve this, Rafe. She trusts you. She trusts me. We can't do this to him."

He came closer again, more determined this time, and you didn't pull away. His eyes searched yours, his face just a few inches from yours. You could feel his breathing, the heat radiating from his body, and your heart began to pound.

"I don't care," he murmured, with an intensity that completely disarmed you. "I don't care what I should do. All I want now is to be with you."

His confession fell upon you like a storm, dark and electrifying. You knew that at that moment you should walk away, get out of that house and leave it all behind. But your feet remained motionless, as if a part of you was also trapped in that forbidden desire.

"This... can't happen," you whispered, trying to hold on to the last shred of reason you had left.

Rafe raised a hand, gently brushing your cheek, and the contact made you close your eyes for a second. "But it's already happening," he said with a certainty that made you He shuddered.

You opened your eyes and took a step back, breaking contact. “No. I have to go.”

Rafe didn’t try to stop you this time, but the intensity of his gaze continued to haunt you as you walked away. Your steps felt heavy, as if leaving him behind required titanic strength. When you reached the door, you paused for a moment, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. You knew the right thing to do was to walk away, but the desire you had tried to bury was awakening, and you couldn’t deny that something inside you was changing.

That night, when you finally returned home, you sat on your bed, your heart still pounding. You had distanced yourself from Rafe, but you knew that distance wouldn’t be enough to stop what was growing between you. And, for the first time, you realized that maybe you couldn’t control what you felt anymore.

The days that followed became a silent storm inside you. Every moment was a constant struggle between guilt, desire, and responsibility. You had managed to physically distance yourself from him that night, but the emotional burden remained, growing with every thought, with every furtive glance you remembered, with every heartbeat that quickened as you received his messages.

The hardest thing was being close to Sofia. You felt trapped in a labyrinth of contradictory emotions, having to be her support while your own stability was shaky. She trusted you, depended on you, and you did everything you could to be by her side. But every word of comfort you offered to her tore you apart a little more inside. How could you be a support for her when you yourself were on the verge of collapse?

You spent hours with Sofia, listening to her worries, her fears. Rafe had become distant, and she didn't understand why. He told you how things had changed between them, how every day he seemed further away, colder. And you knew it. You knew exactly why he was pulling away, and that knowledge weighed on you like a stone in your chest.

There were times when you wanted to tell her the truth, to confess what was going on, but the words died in your throat. You couldn't. You couldn't destroy her like that. So you stayed silent, nodded, and held her when she broke down in front of you, as if that was enough to keep her whole.

Until one afternoon, while you were at her house, Sofia surprised you with an idea you weren't expecting.

"I've been thinking about doing something special for Rafe," she began, with a smile that seemed forced but full of hope. "Something to help us reconnect. A romantic getaway, just the two of us. Something spontaneous, different."

Just hearing her talk about him that way made your stomach turn.

“Do you think that will work?” you asked, trying to sound neutral, even though you knew your voice betrayed some disbelief.

Sofia nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I think we need to get out of here, away from everything.” Maybe a change of scenery will help us remember why we're together in the first place."

You nodded slowly, not knowing what to say. The thought of the two of them, together, trying to save their relationship, should have relieved you, should have given you hope that everything would go back to normal. But it didn't. Instead, you felt a knot form in your stomach.

"I want you to come with us," he said suddenly, as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

The surprise took your breath away. "What?"

Sofia looked at you with an almost pleading expression. "Yes, I want you to come. I know you've been distant lately, and I don't know why, but I think being in a different place will do you good. We could relax, have fun like before.

You stayed silent for a few seconds, processing his words. Going with them… on a romantic getaway. Being a third presence on a trip that should be just for the two of them. It all seemed absurd, out of place.

"I don't think it's a good idea." "I don't think so," you finally answered, trying to come up with a valid excuse. "It's a trip for you two, I have nothing to do there."

Sofia shook her head quickly. "It's not absurd. You're my best friend, and Rafe appreciates you too. Besides, it could be fun. I don't want you to be alone, and I know you're not at your best either." This could help us both.”

Her words left you speechless. Maybe for her, your presence would be a safety net of sorts, someone to lean on if things didn’t go her way.

And you… you were trapped. You couldn’t refuse without raising suspicion, without her wondering what was really going on.

“Okay,” you finally said, even though every fiber of your being screamed for you not to. “I’ll go.”

Sofia smiled, relieved, and you forced a smile in response. As Sofia began to talk excitedly about plans, you could only think about what was coming next.

From the moment you accepted Sofia’s invitation, you knew exactly what was going to happen. You had tried to ignore it, to pretend that maybe things would be different, that you could keep the emotional distance you had built with so much effort. But reality haunted you, and with each passing day, that certainty became harder to ignore.

Days later, as you absentmindedly checked your phone, Rafe's message appeared like a shadow you couldn't avoid:

"I can't wait to see you on the trip."

Your heart stopped for a second. There was no formality, no context, just that message, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to be eager to see you.

You didn't respond. It wasn't worth it. You would leave that message on read, buried among unimportant notifications, as if ignoring it could take away its weight.

And yet, you couldn't get it out of your head. Over the next few days, as you helped Sofia with the preparations for the trip, as you pretended to be excited about the getaway, that message was still there, latent, like a constant reminder of what awaited you.

Finally, the day of departure arrived. The chosen destination was a private island, a paradise hidden in the crystal-clear waters of somewhere not so far away. It was the kind of place only the rich and privileged could afford, with white sand beaches stretching as far as the eye could see, luxurious villas surrounded by lush vegetation, and a tranquility that seemed alien to the real world.

The plan sounded perfect. For Sofia, it was the ideal opportunity to reconnect with Rafe, to get away from everything that had been distancing them. For you, it was a gilded cage, a scenario where everything could go wrong.

You were nervous. You couldn't deny that the idea of ​​being so close to Rafe, sharing the same space, made you uneasy. Every time you thought about him, about his gaze, about the way he seemed to seek you out even when he shouldn't, a wave of anxiety ran through your body.

But you promised yourself that you wouldn't let it bother you. You wouldn't give it power over you. You wouldn't allow this trip to become anything more than what it was meant to be: a getaway with your friend, nothing more.

The day started early. Rafe picked you up with Sofia in his car, both ready to leave. Sofia was beaming, excited about the adventure that awaited them. You, on the other hand, kept a measured smile, trying not to let your thoughts betray you.

“Ready for a few days of paradise?” Sofia asked, with a smile that reflected all her excitement.

“More than ready,” you answered, with an enthusiasm that you didn’t quite feel. Your eyes avoided Rafe’s, who remained silent, driving with a calm expression.

The trip to the private port was short, but every second in that car made you feel as if the air became denser, heavier. Rafe didn’t say much, but his presence was impossible to ignore.

When they arrived at the port, a private yacht was waiting for them, ready to take them to the island. The luxury was overwhelming: an elegant vessel, with polished wood interiors, spacious rooms, and staff ready to attend to their every wish.

The trip on the yacht was as beautiful as it was uncomfortable. Sofia settled down on the deck, enjoying the sun and the sea breeze. You joined her, trying to relax, but you constantly felt Rafe’s gaze on you, as if he was waiting for something, as if the silence between you was a conversation in itself.��

When you finally arrived at the island, the place was even more stunning than you had imagined. The private villa was surrounded by palm trees, with an infinity pool that seemed to merge with the sea. From the balcony, the view was simply perfect: a clear horizon, the sky painted blue, and the sound of the waves like a constant melody. 

Sofia was delighted. “Look at this! It’s even better than I imagined.”

You nodded, pretending to be just as excited, while inside you tried to prepare yourself for what was to come. You knew you would be together, that you would share moments where the line between right and wrong would blur even further. And yet, you were there.

The afternoon passed in apparent calm. You swam in the pool, walked along the beach, tried to distract yourself with anything. But every time Rafe came closer, every time his presence became unavoidable, an electric current seemed to run through the air.

It wasn't the place, nor the time. It was him. It was what he provoked in you, that attraction that you had tried to deny but that grew stronger and stronger.

As night began to fall, you promised yourself that you would keep your distance. You wouldn't let anything happen. You wouldn't let it happen to yourself.

When night came, dinner was quiet, the table was set on the terrace, overlooking the beach and the moonlit ocean. The air was warm, and the sea breeze blew gently, filling the air with the soothing sound of waves breaking on the shore.

Sofia talked animatedly about the day, grateful for the trip she had planned. His voice had a mix of excitement and hope, as if this place could fix everything he felt was falling apart. Rafe, on the other hand, was more reserved, listening in silence, his gaze occasionally lost in the horizon or sometimes fixed on you for a few seconds that seemed eternal. 

You finished the last sip of your glass of wine when you decided it was time to leave them alone. Sofia had planned this trip to be with him, to reconnect, and you didn't want to be another obstacle. 

"I'm going to take a walk on the beach," you said in a casual tone, leaving the napkin on the table and standing up. You smiled slightly at Sofia. "I'll leave you two alone for a while." 

She looked at you with a mix of gratitude and relief. "Thank you." 

Rafe just nodded, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before returning to his plate. 

You didn't wait for an answer. You walked away from the table, crossing the terrace and descending the wooden path that led directly to the beach. The night air was cool and pleasant, and as you approached the sand, you felt each step take you a little further from the weight you carried.

The beach was completely empty, an endless stretch of white sand that sparkled under the moonlight. The sky was clear, and the stars seemed to flicker with an intensity you had rarely seen.

You walked slowly, letting your feet sink into the soft sand, enjoying the feeling of freedom that only this place could give you. The sound of the waves, the salty scent of the sea, the pleasant cold on your skin... everything seemed to conspire to offer you a moment of peace.

You stopped at a point where the shore met the tide, letting the water lap at your bare feet. You looked up at the sky, noticing the moon illuminating everything with its silver light. There was something comforting about its presence, something that made you feel less alone, less trapped in your own thoughts.

You had lost track of time on the beach, wrapped in that calm that you had needed so much. The sound of the waves, the reflection of the moon on the water, the coolness of the night... everything seemed to have conspired to stop the world for a while. You felt good, at peace, something you had not experienced for a long time.

You didn't know how much time you had spent there, alone, with your bare feet sunk in the wet sand and your gaze lost on the horizon. The world seemed so far away, and for a moment you allowed yourself to forget everything: the doubts, the tensions, the mixed emotions.

It was then that you heard footsteps behind you. Light, careful, as if the person approaching did not want to break the tranquility of the night. You didn't have to turn around to know who it was. You felt it before you saw it.

“Where is Sofia?” you asked, not looking at him, keeping your eyes fixed on the ocean that stretched out before you.

“Sleeping,” Rafe answered in a low voice, almost in a whisper that mixed with the sound of the sea.

His answer made you realize how long you had been there. Longer than you had imagined.

“Maybe I should go to sleep too,” you said as you slowly turned to look at him.

Rafe was standing a few feet away from you, his hands in his pockets and his gaze fixed on you. There was something different in his eyes, something softer, less tense.

“Will you stay with me for a moment?” he asked, his tone calm but with a nuance that made you hesitate.

You thought about it for a few seconds. You knew that staying was risky, that the line you had tried so hard not to cross could easily blur. But there was also something in his voice, in his gaze, that made you give in.

“It’s okay,” you finally replied, turning back to the sea as he came over and sat down beside you on the sand.

Silence settled between you, but this time it wasn’t awkward. On the contrary, there was something comforting about that shared stillness, as if you could finally be together without the weight of everything around you. For the first time in a long time, the usual tension was gone.

You both stared out at the ocean, letting the sound of the waves fill the space between you. There was no need to speak, no need to explain. You were just there, in that moment, sharing a pause amidst the chaos.

Suddenly, without warning, Rafe reached out a hand and splashed some water towards you. It wasn’t much, just a few drops, but enough to make you turn your head and look at him in surprise.

“Really?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, but unable to help a small smile.

Rafe smiled too, a genuine smile, free of the shadows he often carried. For a moment, he seemed to have forgotten everything.

“I couldn’t resist,” he replied in an amused tone.

You decided not to be left behind. You quickly stood up and ran towards the water, wetting your hands before spraying a jet directly onto his shirt. Rafe stood up immediately, with an expression of mock indignation.

“Now you’re in trouble,” he said, advancing towards you while you retreated, laughing, with the water caressing your feet.

What followed was a game, an improvised battle on the shore, with both of you splashing each other, laughing as if you were children. The worries, the tensions, the doubts... everything was left behind in those minutes when there was only the two of you and the ocean.

Rafe seemed different, freer, more alive. And you... you felt light, as if you had finally found a respite in the middle of everything. Laughter filled the night, and for an instant, everything was fine.

Finally, you both stopped, soaked and panting slightly from laughter and exhaustion. Rafe looked at you, his smile still present, and for a moment the world seemed to stop again.

“Do you regret staying?” he asked quietly.

You thought about it for a moment, looking into his eyes, still feeling the tickle of laughter in your chest.

“No... not this time,” you answered, letting the peace of that moment envelop you once again.

After that little water fight, the breeze became cooler and calm settled between you again. You both remained silent, sitting on the sand, watching the sky begin to take on soft tones with the arrival of dawn.

Rafe stood beside you, relaxed but silent, watching the horizon. Despite the peace that surrounded you, tiredness began to take hold of you. The night had been long, and although the moment shared with him had been unexpectedly pleasant, your body was asking for rest.

“I think that’s enough for today… I’m tired,” you murmured softly, breaking the silence as you slowly stood up, shaking the sand from your hands.

Rafe stood beside you, with that carefree air he always seemed to carry with him. He didn’t say anything, simply nodded and began to walk beside you towards the house. The walk was quiet, accompanied only by the distant sound of the waves and the song of the first birds that announced the morning.

When they reached the house, they both climbed the stairs in silence, the sound of their footsteps muffled by the soft creaking of the wood. In front of the door to your room, you stopped, giving him one last look before saying goodbye. But before you could say anything, Rafe moved a little closer, leaning towards you naturally.

His lips brushed your cheek in a soft, brief kiss. It was an unexpected gesture, almost innocent, but it left you completely taken aback. The warmth of his touch was marked on your skin for a few seconds longer than it should have.

“Good night,” he murmured in a low, calm voice, as if it meant nothing.

You didn’t know what to answer. For a moment, your mind went blank, searching for some meaning in that kiss you hadn’t anticipated. But before you could say anything, Rafe had already turned around and started to walk away, walking down the hall as calmly as he had arrived.

You closed the door behind you, leaning your back against it, feeling a mix of emotions you couldn’t define. You had spent the entire night trying to keep things under control, reminding yourself not to cross any lines. However, that small gesture—so simple and yet so full of meaning—had shattered the apparent calm you were trying to build.

You brought a hand to your cheek, as if you wanted to check that it had really happened. The kiss had been brief, but the confusion it left in its place seemed endless. You didn't say anything, because at that moment, not even you knew what it meant.

When morning came, the sun shone brightly, illuminating the landscape imposingly as the fresh morning air swept through the palms of the tall palm trees surrounding the house. However, inside you, there was a palpable tension, as if everything that had dissipated the night before had returned to its natural state, denser than ever.

Rafe seemed as distant as ever, but now, every glance, every gesture on his part, caused a knot in your stomach. The kiss on your cheek seemed to have awakened something in him, although you didn't know exactly what.

You were all together in the kitchen, preparing breakfast while the sound of the coffee maker filled the space with its comforting aroma. Sofia was animated, chatting about trivial things, oblivious to what was really happening between you and Rafe. She seemed completely immune to the atmosphere that had changed between the three of you. You laughed with her, mechanically responding to her comments, but everything in you was distracted, focused on the small space you shared with Rafe. 

He moved around the kitchen with that same calmness as always, but there was something in his attitude that got on your nerves. He gave you fleeting glances, not with the same nonchalance as before, but as if he were evaluating something that he himself could not understand. But he didn't say anything, and neither did you. 

Sofia didn't notice anything. She was absorbed in the conversation, asking if you wanted to go out to explore the place after breakfast, always so cheerful, so oblivious to the discomfort that was beginning to form a thick layer between you and Rafe. Sometimes, it felt like the friendship you and Sofia shared was cracking with each moment you spent alone with him.

You sat down at the table, trying to ignore how uncomfortable the air around you felt. Rafe finally broke the silence, speaking calmly, as if nothing had happened, as if everything was fine. 

The conversation continued as if nothing had happened. Sofia was delighted, oblivious to everything, and you simply tried hard to go with the flow. 

The rest of the day passed like a routine, but one that felt forced and artificial. You were with them, yes, but you felt distant, as if an invisible cloak separated you from Sofia and Rafe. 

When you found the atmosphere becoming uncomfortable or you felt trapped, you took the opportunity to escape. You went out to the garden or to the beach, walking aimlessly, breathing deeply to clear your mind. You needed those moments of solitude, those moments when you could calm your thoughts and get away from the chaos that formed when the three of you were together. 

Despite your escapes, Sofia seemed to be calmer, happier even. Her eyes sparkled as she talked about Rafe, and she enthusiastically told him how everything in the relationship seemed to be improving. The trip, apparently, was helping, as she said. Sofia's smile was easier to see, and the small tensions between her and Rafe seemed to have dissolved, at least in his presence.

At night, while Sofia and Rafe stayed in the house, laughing, or simply cozying up together in front of a movie or on the terrace, you left early. You didn't want to be there, you didn't want to be the spectator of something you couldn't control, that you didn't know how to handle.

Despite the apparent normality that Sofia and Rafe achieved in the moments they spent together, Rafe always came back to you, and no matter how much you tried to escape the tension that was brewing between the two of you, he found a way to get close again, as if there was something inside him that he couldn't ignore.

It was in those moments that you felt that strange mix of attraction and frustration, when he sought you out in those small moments of silence or in the casual exchanges that never seemed to be casual. You felt it in the way he looked at you, that intense gaze that you sometimes avoided, but that you couldn’t help but notice. Every time your eyes met his, the world around you seemed to disappear, leaving you alone with that warm but dangerous feeling that invaded your chest.

He did it without saying a word, just with his presence. Sometimes it was a simple gesture, like when he passed by you and his arm brushed yours, or when he asked you something in a low voice, just enough for you to hear. Other times it was more obvious, when he asked you to accompany him to a secluded corner or when, for no apparent reason, he stayed by your side for longer than necessary, as if he enjoyed the discomfort it caused. 

Even when you tried not to pay attention to him, he kept coming back. You saw it in his messages, the ones he sent with a disturbing naturalness, as if it were normal after everything that had happened. Sometimes you answered them, other times you simply read them and left them unanswered. But he kept looking for an excuse to get closer, always in those moments when you thought you had finally gotten far enough away. 

It was as if, despite everything that was between you, he couldn't stop coming back. And you, even though you tried to fight your own feelings, couldn't help but feel like he knew it too. He knew that, somehow, you always came back to him. And the worst of all was that, even though you tried to resist, you felt attracted too. 

The next day, it was one of those afternoons where the heat of the sun was beginning to wane, and the breeze coming from the sea made the walk more pleasant. You, Rafe and Sofia were walking along a path next to the beach, enjoying a landscape that seemed straight out of a postcard. Sofia, with her usual energy, was talking non-stop with Rafe. They walked slightly ahead of you, while you stayed a few steps behind, distracted by your phone, answering messages and scrolling through social media without paying too much attention to the conversation. 

You weren't really there. Or at least, that's what you tried to be. It was easier this way, less complicated. 

At one point, Sofia stopped to look at some stones that had caught her attention. He walked away a few meters, bending down to pick up a small shell that was shining in the sun. He took the opportunity to take some photos, always attentive to such things.

Meanwhile, Rafe didn't waste a second. He looked down at the ground and saw a small wild flower growing next to the path. It was simple, with white petals and a yellow center, nothing special, but enough to catch his attention. He quickly bent down and plucked it. At first you thought he was going to give it to Sofia, like any boyfriend would do at that moment. It was logical, what anyone would have expected.

But no. It wasn't Sofia he gave it to.

It was you.

Rafe turned slightly and handed you the flower with a disconcerting calm, as if that gesture meant nothing, but in fact it said everything. His eyes met yours for a brief second, a second that seemed longer than it should have been. He didn't say anything, there was no need. You looked at him, surprised, and he just smiled with that expression that seemed to challenge you, that seemed to know exactly what he was doing. 

For a moment, your mind went blank. You didn't know how to react. You couldn't reject it, but you couldn't openly accept it either. So you took the flower, your fingers brushing his for just an instant. The contact was as brief as it was significant. 

With the flower in your hand, you quickly looked over to where Sofia was, making sure she hadn't seen anything. She was still distracted with the shell and the photos, not paying attention to what was happening between you. Your heart was beating a little faster than normal, as if the simple act of receiving that flower was a secret you shouldn't share. 

Not knowing what to do with it, you put it in the back pocket of your shorts, hiding it, but not throwing it away. You didn’t want to get rid of it, even though you knew you should.

You continued walking down the path until you finally arrived back at the house. The sun was beginning to descend on the horizon, tinting the sky in golden and pink hues, creating a perfect atmosphere for a quiet afternoon.

Sofia was the first to propose that you stay outside, on the sand, to enjoy the sunset. You and Rafe agreed, and the three of you settled down on a blanket spread out near the porch. A small cooler with beers sat to one side, and you each took one to relax as the day slowly gave way to night.

The sound of the sea was constant, a soft murmur filling the air.

You sat cross-legged, the cold beer in your hands and the small flower Rafe had given you earlier resting on your knee. At first, you tried not to pay too much attention to it, but before you knew it, you started playing with it. Your fingers gently twirled it, bending the petals, as if you were absorbed in your own thoughts.

Rafe was sitting next to you, closer than you should be comfortable with, but the truth was that you had stopped caring about the closeness. Without saying anything, he looked away at you, watching as you manipulated the flower. His eyes followed the movement of your fingers with an attention that was not casual. It wasn't the flower that interested him, it was the fact that you had kept it. That small gesture meant something, even if neither of you mentioned it.

For her part, Sofia seemed completely oblivious to the subtle tension that was forming between you. She talked about how relaxing it was to be there, about how the trip was helping to disconnect from everything. You nodded and smiled when appropriate, but in reality you were caught up in your own thoughts.

The afternoon passed slowly, between scattered conversations and the constant opening of beers. When it was finally time to eat, they decided to stay outside. Rafe lit a small improvised campfire, and they ate there, with the cool night air beginning to envelop them.

After eating, Sofia was the first to suggest getting into the water. You thought the idea was a good one. There was something liberating about submerging yourself in the sea under the dim light of the night sky. You took off your clothes, leaving you in your bikini, and walked into the water. 

Rafe watched you from where he was sitting, his eyes following you in a way he hadn't done so openly before. It wasn't the first time he'd seen you in a bikini, but this time there was something different in his gaze. An intensity that wasn't there before, an attention that was now impossible to ignore. 

It didn't bother you. You could feel his gaze on you, but you decided not to give it any importance. You weren't looking for his attention, or at least, that's what you told yourself. You entered the water, letting the freshness of the sea envelop you, trying to disconnect, to forget for a moment everything that was happening. 

Soon after, Rafe joined you. He swam close, not enough to invade your space, but close enough that his presence was unavoidable. The moonlight was beginning to reflect off the surface of the water, and the atmosphere felt strange, almost unreal. Sofia, meanwhile, stood on the shore, laughing and playing with the waves that barely touched her feet.

Rafe watched you silently, as if he were debating something internally. But he didn't say anything. And neither did you. You just floated there, in that moment suspended in time, where everything seemed about to change, but nothing did.

It was close to 1 a.m. when Sofia decided it was time to go to sleep. She got up, drying her feet and shaking the sand off her legs before approaching you.

"I'm going to bed," she told you.

You hesitated for a moment, weighing your options. You were tired, and that whole day had been confusing enough that you wanted to finally disconnect.

"Yeah, I think I'm going too," you answered, slowly getting up as Sofia called Rafe to join her as well.

He was sitting on the sand, his eyes fixed on the dark horizon of the sea, as if he were lost in some deep thought. He turned his head towards her, with a calm expression, and simply said:

“I'll stay a little longer.”

Sofia didn't insist. She smiled and disappeared towards the house, leaving only her footprints in the sand. You followed her with your gaze, with the firm intention of doing the same, of returning and closing the day. But when you took a step towards the house, something inside you made you stop.

You turned slowly, your bare feet returning to the cold sand, and without saying anything you returned to the water. You didn't want to think too much about what you were doing. The water was calm, a dark expanse that blended with the sky, and when you entered, the cold ran through your skin, waking you up completely.

Rafe saw you return. He didn't ask anything. He simply stood up and followed you, entering the water beside you. The silence between you was thick, but not uncomfortable. There was a different energy, a tension that needed no words.

You felt him close, his presence inescapable. You wanted to ignore him, to keep your distance, but every fiber of your being was aware of him. His eyes searched for you in the darkness, and you, despite everything, avoided looking directly at him.

Until you couldn’t take it anymore. You felt his hand reach out to you, his fingers brushing your arm with a softness that was almost imperceptible, but enough to make you stop. You didn’t move away. You let him touch you because, deep down, you wanted him to.

Rafe approached slowly, the water barely reaching the height of his hips when he took you by the waist, with a firmness that you hadn’t expected, but that you didn’t reject. You stood still, your breathing getting heavier, the air between you getting thicker.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he murmured, his voice low, barely audible over the sound of the waves.

You heard him, but you didn’t respond. Not because you didn’t have something to say, but because you didn’t want to break the moment. His words were a confession you’d been waiting for, even though you were afraid to hear them.

And then, without warning, Rafe kissed you. It was a kiss that didn’t seek permission, that didn’t hesitate. His lips found yours with a need you’d felt in yourself for days, but had repressed.

And you… you let him. Because you couldn’t take it anymore. Because you wanted it.

The kiss was intense, charged with everything you’d both been repressing. His hands slid down your back, pulling you closer, as you wrapped your arms around his neck. The water surrounded you, cold and silent, but everything about you was fire, heat, desire.

After what seemed like an eternity, you parted slightly, your breaths mingling, your foreheads resting against each other. You didn’t say anything, and neither did he.

They stepped out of the water in silence, their bare feet leaving small footprints in the wet sand. Rafe led you to a dark corner, out of reach of the light coming from the house, where the night seemed more private, more his.

He gently laid you down on the cold sand, his body leaning over yours, but with a gentleness you hadn’t expected. His eyes searched for you in the dim light, and you whispered to him:

“No one’s ever kissed me the way you do.”

These words pierced him. He had no answer. And he kissed you again, and you let him, once again.

The night became denser when the kiss ended. You slowly separated from Rafe, your lips still trembling from the contact, and your eyes, full of emotions you couldn't contain, closed for a moment as you felt silent tears fall down your cheeks.

You didn't want to cry, not like that, not in front of him. But you did. It was inevitable. Guilt and desire intertwined in your chest, drowning you.

Rafe noticed it right away. Without saying anything, his fingers gently brushed your face, drying one of those tears, as if that gesture could erase everything that was going through you.

"I feel bad..." you whispered with a broken voice, barely a murmur that the sound of the sea almost drowned out.

You regretted it. Not just the kiss, but everything that had led up to that moment. Of having let yourself go. Of having crossed a line that you swore you would never cross. Sofia was asleep just a few feet away, trusting you, him, and you had broken that trust.

“I shouldn’t have… we shouldn’t have done this,” you added, your gaze fixed on the ground, unable to meet his eyes.

Rafe didn’t look away from you. You could feel his attention, that intensity that always seemed to envelop him, as if the rest of the world didn’t matter when you were around. He placed a firm hand on your cheek, gently forcing you to look at him.

“Don’t feel bad,” he said in a low, serious voice. “I need you more than you know.”

His words were simple, but heavy with weight. You stood still, your thoughts teetering between what was right and what you wanted. You didn’t want to hear that, but at the same time, you had longed for it.

“If this is what you want, I’ll leave Sofia. I’ll do whatever it takes.” His eyes searched yours, looking for an answer, a sign that you could accept what he was willing to offer you.

You shuddered at that. It wasn’t what you wanted, at least not like this. Sofia was your friend, an important part of your life, and you knew how much it would hurt her. The last thing you wanted was to destroy her, to take away something she still believed was hers.

“No…” you answered, shaking your head with a mix of firmness and desperation. “You can’t do that. I don’t want Sofia to suffer. She deserves to be happy.”

Rafe sighed, his frustration evident, but he didn’t let go of you. He moved a little closer, as if his words could convince you.

“You have to be happy too,” he replied with determination. “What about you? Why are you always thinking about everyone but yourself?”

You didn’t know what to say. Because, deep down, you knew he was right. You had spent so much time worrying about others, about keeping Sofia happy, about protecting the friendship, that you had forgotten about yourself, about your own wants and needs. But at what cost?

“I don’t know…” you admitted quietly, feeling each word cost you more.

Rafe leaned closer to you, his eyes locked on yours, his voice softer now, almost whispering:

“When we get back, I’m going to leave her. I can’t keep pretending. I can’t keep walking away from you.”

His words shook you. It was a statement you had feared and hoped for at the same time. Your heart was pounding, while your mind struggled to find an answer, a way out that wouldn’t hurt anyone. But you knew there wasn’t an easy one.

You stayed silent, letting the night breeze wash over you, while Rafe was still there, his hands still on you, his presence unwavering.

The next few days in that paradise you had longed for became a kind of torture. A sweet and bitter torture that seemed to have no end. Every morning, every afternoon, every night, Rafe found a way to get close to you, to seek you out with the slightest excuse. A touch of hands when Sofia wasn’t looking, a look loaded with meaning as you walked together, a stolen kiss in the shadows when the moment allowed it.

You couldn’t help it. He was constant, persistent. He knew exactly how to attract you, how to make you lower the defenses you had built up so much.

One afternoon, while you were on the terrace, watching the calm ocean, Rafe approached with something in his hand. Without saying anything, he placed it in your palm. It was a ring, delicate and beautiful. You looked at it, bewildered.

“Why are you giving me this?” you asked him with a lump in your throat, your fingers closing around the ring.

He didn’t respond with words. She just looked at you, with that mix of desire and determination that worried you so much, as if she were marking a silent promise. You didn't understand why she had it, or why she had given it to you, but there it was, in your trembling hand.

The days passed, and you felt more and more trapped. The sun, the sand, the sea breeze, everything that had seemed perfect to you before now suffocated you. You wanted to go home, return to the routine, to the family chaos, to anything that would allow you to escape this dilemma. Because at home, perhaps, you could separate from Rafe.

Not because you didn't want to, not because his kisses didn't burn your skin or his gaze didn't make you tremble. But because you knew it wasn't the right thing to do.

Sofia was still by your side, oblivious to everything, excited about this trip that she thought was saving her relationship. And every time she looked at you with a grateful smile, you felt the weight of your actions sinking you deeper.

Rafe, on the other hand, didn't seem to feel that weight. He looked for you every moment, as if nothing else mattered. As if he was sure that everything would end well, that when he returned, his life would change, with you by his side. But you didn't share that certainty. You couldn't.

But it didn't matter how much you wanted to deny it. It didn't matter how many times your reason screamed at you that you had to stop, that this wasn't right. Because at the end of the day, none of that seemed enough. You still loved Rafe.

You loved him with an intensity you hadn't felt before, a force that dragged you every time you were near him. It didn't matter how much you told yourself that you had to be strong, that you had to get away. Every time he looked for you, every time he looked at you with those eyes full of desire, you fell again.

His kisses were a trap you didn't want to escape from. His hands on your skin were an anchor that kept you in a place where logic and morality faded away. You liked how he made you feel, how he loved you, how he seemed so sure of what he wanted, of what he wanted with you.

And you... you wanted it too. You wanted it from the first kiss under the shade, from that flower you kept in the back pocket of your shorts. You wanted it from the first touch you shared in secret. You wanted him.

Rafe loved you too. He didn't say it in words, but he showed it to you every time he found a way to be alone with you. In every furtive glance, in every caress when Sofia wasn't there, in every moment when his lips urgently sought yours. He liked loving you. He liked the power you had over him, the way his thoughts revolved around you, leaving everything else in the background.

You knew it was wrong. You knew that every kiss you shared, every moment his hands sought you out, took you further away from what was right, from the loyalty you owed Sofia. But you also knew you couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to stop.

Every night, when the world fell silent, you thought about it. About how you had crossed that invisible line and how there was no turning back. You were trapped in a dangerous game that neither of you seemed to want to leave. And even though a part of you felt guilty, another part—the one that flared up every time you were with him—didn’t want to let go.

Because in the end, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that you should stop. No matter how much your reason screamed at you. You still loved Rafe. And the worst thing was that he loved you too, and that made it impossible to stop.

[finnbbl]

Hey, I saw your requests are open. Would you write something for 3Racha where something sad happens and the reader turns non-verbal to try and cope with it?

It's just a problem that I always have and I would like to know how you think the boys would react :)

3Racha when you’re nonverbal

3Racha Written

Prompt: Being friends with the main producers of a music group had its perks. But when you’re asked to accompany them a certain gathering, you hesitate when you figure out who will be there.

Genre: Angst/Comfort

Gender Neutral Reader

Warnings: Implications of trauma, alcohol and dr*g mention, I don’t think there’s any swearing, reader goes nonverbal.

A/N: I wanted to first start off by saying I apologize it took me a bit to get out. I’ve been in my own slump and I’ve found it super hard to find motivation for anything, especially writing and posting.

I wasn’t sure if you wanted a specific incident to happen where the reader goes non verbal, so I hope this is okay. I also wasn’t sure if you wanted it romantic or not, so I just kind of wrote what felt right in the moment. I tried to leave the situation vague so it could match with anyone’s experiences. I personally don’t like it too much (I honestly hate my writing so it could just be that LOL) so I can make a separate post with a text version, of course it would be a little bit different than this. Please let me know your thoughts 🙏

Requests - OPEN

Masterlist

Please read disclaimer in masterlist

Parties were the absolute worst. If you were forced to choose a least favorite thing on the planet, parties would be it. They’re loud and crowded; Worst of all, he’s always there.

3Racha had been nominated for an award. They had been invited to a big award show, a one where afterparties usually follow. You were incredibly proud of them, knowing just how hard they worked. They meant the absolute world to you, and to see them put their best foot forward and exceed tipped you over the moon. Previously, you’d turn them down when they’d ask you to attend with them, and you had a very good reason. Firstly, parties just weren’t your thing. You never fit in with everyone else growing up. Secondly, you knew that he was going to be there. You didn’t know what to call him. Putting a label on things had never felt right to you before. If someone were to ask him, he’d tell them you were together. But if someone were to ask you, you’d say it was complicated and you were content with how things were. You did that with everyone that seemed to be more than friends with you, commitment was a scary thing. But you did know that he was someone you never wanted to be around ever again.

You remember the way he’d always ask you to accompany him to one. He was the partier in the “relationship.” However, you’d always preferred to stay in. Nice and cozy in your blankets. One night, you decided to try and get out of your comfort zone. You wore something different, and put effort into your appearance. The moment he let his hand “accidentally” linger over your ass was the first sign of a mistake. The night only went downhill from there. Next thing you knew you were drugged and taken advantage of. It took you months to recover, months to find the will to get out of bed. Only Chan out of the three knew of this incident, but only very very vaguely. He only found out because he was the one nursing you back to your normal self again. You avoided giving him details, he doesn’t know the person, time, nor the place. You wanted to stick to using being tired as an excuse to politely turn them down. There was no way you could let them find out that you were just too weak to attend said gathering, especially because they don’t know what happened.

You listened to the boys explain how excited they were for this one. How this was such a big award, and how it was going to be so much different. The excitement that laced their voices made it hard for you to deny the question you knew was coming. “Do you think you could go with us this time?” They knew the answer every time they asked this question. A hesitant no, almost as if you were thinking about it. In reality, your mind was fighting off bad memories. It was hard not to think of it when even the topic was brought up, there’s no way you could bring yourself to revisit the place it happened. He was always going to be there, just like he was at every one while you knew him. Again, parties were his thing. So you were confident no matter which one you attended, he would be there. You were scared, to say the least. Scared of seeing him, scared of being pushed back into that dark room, scared of reliving what had made you feel so lifeless.

However, Han’s unintentional puppy eyes drew you closer and closer to the edge. How you wanted to see them happy. You weren’t sure if it was only platonic or if there was some hint of romantic feelings for them there, but you knew you loved them so much. Although the three knew the usual answer, they still proceeded to ask. They felt as they should always invite you, even if they know what your answer would be. However, this time you surprised them. With a quick purse of your lips, the words fell from your mouth. “Fine, but only this once.” The way their faces lit up when you agreed to go to with them brought a smile to your face. Though it quickly dissipated as your brain grabbed back at those awful memories. The guys were too lost in excitement to notice, but you’d prefer it that way. Everyone else had their own problems, so you hated adding your own on top of them.

The last few nights leading up to the award ceremony were filled with anxiety. Sleepovers with Chan were a mutually agreed way to get both of your minds off of stress. However your anxiety still managed to claw its way through what was supposed to be a comforting barrier with him. Chan was next to you, fast asleep which was something that was rare for him. Meanwhile, you silently cried next to him. Hours passed and you were still unable to fall asleep, too busy fighting off the horrible memories. Horrible memories of a time in your life that left you numb. You couldn’t shake it, knowing that he was going to be there. He was a popular artist, and you’d already checked the lineup for the event. His name was there, and now you were petrified. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell them you changed your mind. They were so excited, so you dealt with it.

The night of the party arrived. You’d isolated yourself for the day, hoping to prepare yourself enough for what was about to come. Hours passed and next thing you knew you were sat between Chan and Changbin on a fancy couch. Despite it being a fancy event, Han sat on the back of the couch with his feet on either side of you, his hands slowly running through your hair. It was a common thing for you to do with the three, often being very touchy with each other. It was to the point where you questioned if you were more than friends. While you didn’t kiss, or do anything beyond that, you were very hands on. Cuddling, hugging, playing with each others hair or outfits, you name it. However, you couldn’t decipher whether it was platonic or if there was a hint of romance in there.

Suddenly, an all too familiar voice snapped you out of the peaceful thoughts that managed to distract you for.. at least a little while. Soon enough, your worst fear of the night happened. He placed himself on the couch right across from you guys. The first 20 minutes or so, he had the subtlety evil smirk on his face.

However, you knew it would dissipate sooner or later. Based on your experience with him, he was an extremely jealous person. And given, how important skin-ship was to you and the three boys, it was only a matter of time. It happened when Han noticed you were quieter all of the sudden. His fingers came to a slow stop in your hair to travel down to your shoulder. His head leaning down to your ear to whisper something.

“Are you alright, jagiya?”

It was quiet, quiet enough where only those within a 3 inch radius could hear. So you wonder why you saw that man who you feared, drop his smirk to a frown. Maybe he read Han’s lips and noticed the word ‘jagiya’ ? Either way, you ignored it, and with a nod and a small smile which was noticeably forced, you brushed off Han’s worries insisting you were just tired. Changbin took notice of his member’s concern, and leaned in close to reassure you that the event would be over soon. You gave him the same smile and quietly thanked him.

Thats when he suddenly started staring daggers at you from across the room, his hand clenching onto the almost empty soju bottle. He was drunk, for sure. That had to have been the scariest part. It only added more fuel to the fire, you were silenced. Except nothing was physically stopping you from speaking. Your head dropped down, staring at your nails that now started to dig into the palms of your and in an attempt to quiet the voices in your mind. It was a bad habit you picked up when you got anxious. Recently, it’d been worse so you currently had crescent shaped markings left behind on the center of your hand. Han noticed the tension in your body, and leaned down to express his concern once again.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You’re very tense.”

No response. As much as you wanted to reassure him that everything was okay, you couldn’t. It felt as if your throat was closing up, you couldn’t speak or move. You were anxious, overstimulated and all you wanted to do was jump out of the window. Anything to escape.

Your eyes were now staring daggers into the floor, and your body was completely still. Did you even hear him? He wondered at your lack of response, however it didn’t take long for him to pick up on it. But before he could say anything else, Chan’s hand gently but swiftly grabbed yours. Holding your hands in such a way that your nails couldn’t fight their way through your skin again. Chan was a very observant person, so it didn’t take him very long to notice the marks on your hands. That’s when Han recognized what was going on, Changbin following in their suit not but a few moments later. Once again, Han leaned down to say something. He was well aware that you were nonverbal right now, but he said it anyways hoping you could at least muster the energy to tell him you wanted to leave. You suddenly felt a hand on either shoulder, which were now rubbing soothingly into your tense muscles. “Do you want to leave? Chan still has to say his goodbyes to everyone, but I can take you outside.” This sentence was whispered into your ear, and the word ‘leave’ sparked your attention. You nodded almost too eagerly.

With that, Han motioned for you to stand up, saying something to you excuse yourselves. Chan let your hands slip out of his, looking over at his band mate and Changbin to silently communicate everyone would be leaving soon. You were unsure of what he said, now focused on not making eye contact with a certain someone right across from you. The closer to you that Han got, the more anger you could feel emitting off of the man in front. That only left you more anxious. Suddenly, Han put his arm around your waist gently to guide you out. The anxiety started to die down as you stepped out of the building, but the tears you were fighting didn’t. “You okay?” Han softly questioned as your eyes looked up to meet his. It took him not but a brief moment to notice your glossy eyes. He immediately pulled you in for a hug, which caused you to break down. Still unable to speak, you only mumbled out incoherent words that the male tried so hard to pick up on. Fortunately for him, he was able to make out a few words which told him everything he needed to know.

You felt unsafe is what it was. Although he wasn’t sure why, it was a step. Han would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t sense anger and tension in the room. The reason was what he couldn’t figure out. His head rested on yours, gently rocking you back and forth hoping to calm you down. Suddenly the door opened, but you remained still. As Chan and Changbin walked over, your breathing began to slow down. ���Sorry n/n, I did my best to get us out as soon as possible. They don’t know when to shut up.” Chan apologized and rubbed his hand up and down your back. “Come on, we’ll talk later. Let’s get her out of here.”

Once you all arrived home, everyone went to their dorms. Except you stayed back at Chan and Jeongin’s. Although the younger was in the middle of a brand deal, which left you and the latter alone in the dorm. The trio agreed it would be better if you stayed with one of them for the night, so they decided on the leader’s as it would be the calmest. Your body lay next to him on his comfortable mattress, the lights set to a soft and comforting purple color with the tv playing a movie on the lowest volume. The male laying next to you, with his hand running up and down your back. Your eyes followed the movements of the character on the screen, but your brain wasn’t absorbing any of the plot. It was obvious this was a difficult night for you, but Chan just had to know.

“Feel free to not answer, I know you’re still not in a talking mood..” He led on, and your head raised to make eye contact with him. “Was that the guy… from you know.”

You did know, you knew exactly what he was talking about. Your facial features remained still, looking back and forth between both of his eyes as you mustered up the energy to get some form of response out. With that, you only nodded before turning back to the movie. Chan could swear he felt his heart break and everything suddenly clicked in his mind. If he had known it would only cause you anxiety, then he wouldn’t have pestered you to go for so long. “I am sooo sorry y/n.” His other arm found its way around you as he rested his head on yours. “We wouldn’t have pressed so hard if we knew what was going on.”

Although you didn’t respond, your hand found its way to his and gave him a light squeeze to reassure him that it was okay. “I know I don’t know the whole story but you can always talk to me about how you’re feeling, alright?” A small smile formed on your lips and your head nodded against his, nuzzling further. He let out a light and squeaky giggle as he ran his fingers over your knuckle gently. It was in this moment that you realized it was all going to be okay.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Who Taught You How to Love Like That? - Chapter Four

Pairing: Modern!Aemond Targaryen x f!reader Warnings: Sugar daddy/sugar baby dynamics. Smut. Oral (f receiving). Angst. Word count: ~3.5k

Chapter summary: An understanding is reached and Aegon dishes family dirt at a BBQ.

Author's note: I don't have a tag list - please follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications. Only scabs community label fics. If you find yourself tempted to slap a label on this, please block me instead.

Her phone vibrates on the coffee table, the buzzing causing it to move dangerously close to the edge. Quick as a flash, Mysaria lunges forward from the sofa to catch it before it topples to the floor, smirking when she sees the name that’s flashing up on the screen.

“How many times is that today now?” She asks, gently tossing the phone to her as a missed call notification replaces the incoming call alert.

She shrugs, not averting her gaze from the TV screen as a rerun of Come Dine with Me, that neither of them are particularly paying attention to, plays to itself. “Dunno. He’ll get the hint eventually.”

It’s Sunday evening and she hasn’t spoken to Aemond since she woke up alone in his flat the previous morning, despite the fact he texts and calls her more times than she can count. She deletes the messages without reading them, and lets each of his calls go to voicemail. He’d made her feel cheap, used, put a price on her body, and she had no desire to ever speak to him again.

Mysaria sighs, flopping back against the sofa cushions. “Can I be a bitch for a second?” She asks, turning her head to face her. “You aren’t going to like it, but I think you need to hear it.”

She leans her head back, eyes flitting to meet her flatmate’s, already feeling a prickle of annoyance heat her skin, but decides to let her say her piece. “Go on then.”

“Why are you punishing him because you’ve caught feelings?”

Her annoyance bursts forth into anger as her brow furrows, her body language becoming squared and defensive. “I haven’t–”

“Yes, you have,” Mysaria interrupts. “I get that he did a shitty thing by leaving you high and dry, but he clearly feels bad or he wouldn’t keep trying to reach you. Give the guy a chance to explain himself, if you don’t like what he has to say then break things off.”

She scoffs in frustration, turning back towards the TV and rolling her eyes. “You are so bloody annoying!”

“Because I’m right,” Mysaria says smugly, leaning over to tap her on the nose. “You gonna call him back then?”

She chews her lip absentmindedly, turning her phone around in her hands. She supposes it wouldn’t hurt to reach out to him, if only to ask how to return the five grand he’d transferred to her.

The buzzer to the flat startles her out of her train of thought and Mysaria peels herself off of the sofa with a groan of “Finally! I’m bloody starving!”

Pizza first, then she’ll call him. She’s definitely not putting it off, she reasons with herself, she just doesn’t want her food to go cold.

“Erm…so it’s not pizza…” Mysaria says awkwardly as she re-enters the living room, a silver haired figure a good deal taller than her trailing behind her.

Dread gnaws at her stomach as she takes in the sight of Aemond, hair thrown back in a bun, dressed in a tight black henley and fitted black jeans, holding the largest bouquet of lilies and roses she’s ever seen before. Even when she’s angry with him he still manages to look absolutely breathtaking, and it irritates her.

“I’ll just…uh…” Mysaria makes a gesture towards her bedroom, and quickly makes herself scarce.

Lucky bitch.

“You’ve not been returning my calls,” Aemond says flatly.

“No…” She responds quietly, feeling the warmth of embarrassment spread through her, as she plucks nervously at the legs of her jogging bottoms. He’s never seen her not put together, and she loathes that she feels shame for her appearance, when she hasn’t done anything wrong. Him seeing her with messy hair, an oversized t-shirt and threadbare joggers makes her feel weak and vulnerable in his presence.

“Or replying to my texts.”

“I know.”

“Listen, if the other night wasn’t good, or I hurt you–”

“Why don’t you sit down?” She interjects, suddenly realising how absurd he looks, stood in the middle of the living room, dwarfing everything around him with his obscenely large bunch of flowers.

Aemond nods gratefully, taking the seat next to hear. “These are you for, by the way,” He tells her, handing her the flowers.

She hums a quiet thanks, immediately overwhelmed by the sweetness of their aroma, and places them on the coffee table, knowing she’ll need no distractions if she’s to say what she needs to say.

“The other night was great, really great, actually,” She begins. “But you just left the next morning without a word, and that really upset me.”

“You were upset because I left?” He asks, sounding almost surprised.

“Yes!” She replies with exasperation. “You made me feel cheap, and used.”

“Cheap? But I bank transferred you afterwards.”

“Jesus, Aemond! I’m not a prostitute!” She throws up her hands angrily, gesticulating her point.

He swallows thickly, clearly considering his next words carefully. “I know you said you’ve never done anything like this before, but neither have I, and I made a mistake. My grandfather called me into the office early on Saturday morning. You looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry that my carelessness has hurt you, but I am keen to continue our arrangement.”

It all seems so simple when he words it like that. She could easily have reached out to question his actions, but she’d allowed her emotions to guide her and now feels foolish because of it. When she says nothing, Aemond presses on. 

“No funny business, I promise. We don’t have to sleep together again, but I’ve enjoyed having your company at family functions, it makes them more bearable. Please say you’ll consider it?”

She’s not sure what prompts the words from her mouth, perhaps it’s the pleading look in Aemond’s eye, or the fact that she enjoys his company too, but she says them before she fully has a chance to think about them. “Okay, we’ll carry on as before.”

“Thank you,” He says earnestly.

The buzzer sounding again prevents him from saying anything else, as Mysaria hurries from her room towards the door, in pursuit of her pizza delivery.

“I suppose that’s my cue to leave,” Aemond says softly. “I’ll text you, okay?”

She nods, and they both stand, hovering near each other, both unsure of what would be an appropriate goodbye. Eventually Aemond leans in, kissing the corner of her mouth lightly before pulling back and exiting the flat. She holds her fingers against the area, still able to feel the press of his lips even after he’s departed.

It takes three days for Aemond to message her again, and in that time it feels as though she could crawl out of her own skin with the apprehension that his silence brings. Had he changed his mind, decided her withdrawing contact over an honest mistake was too much to deal with? It fills her with a nervous energy that makes the days unbearable.

The relief she feels when he finally deigns to reach out is borderline humiliating.

Not sure if you remember my half sister, Rhaenyra, but she is having a BBQ on Saturday. Are you free?

I remember. Are you sure you want to go after what happened on your mum’s birthday? Xoxo

My mother will never let me hear the end of it if I don’t go. Will you come with me?

Yeah, I’m free :) xoxo

When Saturday finally rolls around, she keeps her hair and make-up simple, wearing a floral sundress and strappy sandals, but immediately feels underdressed as she recognises the house they pull up outside of as being the one they’d been to for Jace and Baela’s engagement party.

She has little time to dwell on her appearance though, as Aemond ushers her through the expanse of the house and out into the back garden. A sprawling, lush green lawn that could be considered more of a field due to its size plays host to various members of the Targaryen and Hightower families, as the smell of barbecued meat lingers on the breeze.

Aemond leads her around, his hand glued to the small of her back, so she can say polite hellos to everyone. Alicent and Criston greet her with warm hugs and kisses to both cheeks, Helaena does the same, while standing with Baela and Rhaena, the two girls offer a quick “hello” in sing-song unity. Aegon merely holds up a hand by way of greeting, looking less than enthusiastic to be there, and Otto says a polite “good to see you both”. The rest of the family’s greetings are a little more frosty, with Rhaenyra, Jace, Luke and Joffrey giving curt nods of acknowledgement, while Daemon is too preoccupied with the barbecue to notice they’ve even arrived.

“Viserys and Aegon not joining us?” Alicent asks Rhaenyra softly.

“It would mean having to switch off their Playstation, so I very much doubt it,” Rhaenyra says with a roll of her eyes.

The tension is palpable, but her nerves subside slightly when she sees a Rhodesian ridgeback galloping around the garden, with a copper coloured dachshund hot on its heels.

“Oh cute!” She says, turning to Aemond. “Could you not have brought Vhagar?”

“No,” He sighs. “She doesn’t get along with Syrax and Caraxes, so I’ve left her with the dog sitter.”

She gratefully accepts a glass of Pimm’s that’s offered to her by Otto, before he tells Aemond he needs a word.

“You’ll be okay for a moment won’t you, darling?” Aemond asks her.

The pet name causes her breath to catch in her throat and she merely nods, not trusting herself to speak. As they walk away together, she wanders over to a corner of the large garden, pretending to examine an ornate sundial to keep herself busy, when she feels a presence beside her.

Aegon has sidled up to her, beer in hand, a slight smirk on his face. “Having fun?”

“About as much as you are, by the looks of things,” She replies with a tight smile.

“At least you’re getting paid to be here.”

Her eyes go wide, her chest tightening as she realises he knows.

Aegon chuckles. “Ah, you didn’t think I knew? It’s fine, who do you think showed him the app?”

“O-oh…” is all she’s able to stammer, feeling too shocked to say anything else.

“You play a convincing part,” He takes a swig from his bottle. “Too good to be acting, actually. You can’t fake how you look at my brother.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She snaps, feeling the familiar heat of embarrassment tingle at her flesh.

Aegon snorts derisively. “Look, take it from me, don’t get attached. My brother is the last person you want to get involved with. This whole family is a fucking car crash.”

She sips anxiously at her drink, nodding slightly. “I’d noticed none of you seem to get along that well.”

“That is the fucking understatement of the century. Has Aemond told you much about us?”

“Nothing substantial.”

“Allow me to fill you in,” He gestures discreetly towards Alicent. “My mother used to be best friends with my half-sister, they went to school together. My grandfather and my father were business partners, tri-owners of multiple companies alongside Daemon. When my father’s wife, Rhaenyra’s mother, passed away suddenly, my mother started dating my father.”

“Jesus…” She mutters under her breath.

“Oh, it gets worse!” He says with a leer. “See, Rhaenyra wasn’t happy that her best friend had shacked up with her dad. I mean, who would be? She was even more pissed off when the three of us came along, as it meant she was no longer an only child. She started sleeping around to get back at my father, that’s how she ended up with those three.”

Aegon nods towards where Jace, Luke and Joffrey all stand.

“What about her other two children, Aegon and Viserys?”

“Those are the kids she’s had with Daemon. They got married shortly before my father passed away. Mum thinks she did it just to strengthen her claim of the assets, as Daemon’s a partner in the business and Dad didn’t bother to leave a will. Everything Mum has ever tried to claim for us she’s contested.”

“So that’s what all that talk of Dragonstone Cottage was about at your Mum’s birthday?”

“Yeah, ‘Nyra’s sneaky way of trying to hoard assets for her brood.”

“How do Baela and Rhaena fit into all of this?”

“They’re Daemon’s children from a previous marriage.”

“But Baela is engaged to Jace, isn’t that a bit…” She trails off, not knowing the exact word she wants to use.

“Incestuous?” Aegon lets out a laugh that borders on being too unhinged to come from a place of genuine mirth, before taking another swig of his beer. “Yeah, yeah, it is.”

“So what does this have to do with Aemond? Why should I not get involved?”

Aegon rounds on her. “Has he ever told you about, y’know…” He taps his eye.

She shakes her head. “No.”

“Hmmm. Probably best to leave that to him to explain then.”

Their attention is pulled away by the sound of a fork being tapped against the side of a glass. She turns to see Daemon standing at the head of the garden. “Just wanted to thank you all for joining us today”, He says as everyone gathers closer, herself and Aegon included. “I think such an occasion is cause for celebration.” He brandishes a bottle of champagne, before popping the cork, a few that are stood closest step back out of its line of fire.

Luke smirks, elbowing Aemond. “He should be careful, almost had your other eye out.”

It happens so suddenly it seems like a blur, but Aemond has Luke by the collar and Aegon is rushing forward to tackle Jace away. Punches are thrown from both sides, until the ensuing scuffle is broken apart by Daemon and Otto.

Aemond’s eye is wild as he approaches her, his breathing ragged, and his usually immaculately styled hair tousled. “Come on, we’re leaving,” He grits out.

She has to hurry to keep up with his long strides through the house and to the car, and they drive in silence, Aemond’s knuckles blanched with the force of the grip he has on the steering wheel.

She drums her fingers anxiously against her thighs, not quite knowing what to say, but it is Aemond who eventually breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” He says quietly. “It was a bad idea for us to go today.”

“What was that all about?” She asks as gently as she can. “What got you so heated?”

Aemond sighs heavily, keeping his focus on the road ahead, and for a moment she doesn’t think he will answer her.

“Luke’s the reason I lost my eye,” He admits. “His little comment today got to me, and I lashed out.”

“What happened?” She turns slightly in the passenger seat to face him.

“It’s stupid really, an irresponsible rich family allowing their kids to roam the woods with Airsoft guns. The official story is that it was an accident, but accidents don’t happen at point blank range, accidents aren’t something you never apologise for.”

“Jesus, Aemond, I’m so sorry.” Her heart aches for him, having to play happy families with someone who has maimed him

“It is what it is,” He says with a slight shrug. “Makes being around them harder than it already is though. Thank you for being there with me today.”

“That’s alright,” She fidgets nervously with the hem of her dress as they pull up outside her block of flats. “Do you want to come inside for a bit? You shouldn’t be alone when you’re feeling like this.”

No funny business.

Her heart races as Aemond’s hands disappear up her skirt, reappearing with her underwear grasped in his fingers, dragging them down her legs.

We don’t have to sleep together again.

She buries her hands into the softness of his hair as he latches his mouth against her, bringing her to quick release with harsh strokes of his tongue. Every thought of what they’d discussed on Sunday evening leaves her mind as he pushes her back against the mattress, the force of his thrusts inside of her causing her toes to curl and her eyes to roll back, until he eventually collapses against her with a grunt, the faint pulsation of him inside of her signifying he’s reached his end.

They fall asleep, curled around each other in her tiny double bed and she’s pleased to see he’s still there when she awakens the following morning.

“Your mattress is fucking terrible,” Aemond grouses sleepily, pulling her tighter against him. “It feels like I’ve slept on a pile of loose change.”

She giggles, nuzzling into his neck.

They spend most mornings like that, over the coming weeks. Aemond becomes a frequent presence in the little flat. Her feet stay planted in his lap while they watch TV after work in the evenings, before he fucks her into the mattress like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. Their mornings are lazy and indulgent, spent slowly exploring every inch of each other, before they part ways to go to work, only to do it all over again in the evening.

She buys a dog bed, which takes up half the floor space in her bedroom. Aemond raises an eyebrow at this.

“Vhagar’s quite fussy about where she sleeps,” He tells her, only to watch in disbelief as the elderly doberman circles several times on it, before settling down to nap. “I stand corrected.”

Their presence in her life becomes larger as time goes on, and it’s difficult not to feel that it is more than it is, but she is constantly reminded of the transactional nature with every shopping trip on Oxford Street, every visit to Champney’s Spa, each time he hands her his credit card.

The thought occurs to her that perhaps she ought to broach the topic of what they are, how their relationship is developing, but each time she decides against it, too afraid he’ll say something she doesn’t want to hear.

Mysaria smiles as she sees them snuggled together in front of the TV, when she comes home. “You’re here so often, we’ll have to start charging you rent,” She says playfully.

Aemond pulls out his phone, bringing up his banking app. “How much?” He asks, deadly serious.

“Aemond, she was joking!” She laughs, swatting his arm playfully.

It’s been a slow Saturday morning, almost midday and she sits at the kitchen table, a satisfied ache between her legs, as she sips at a coffee while Aemond plates up eggs benedict for them both. One of the things that surprises her most about him is that he’s able to cook, and he does it well.

She eyes him carefully as she pokes at her breakfast, unable to shift the feeling of how his fingers dug into her flesh, how he gazed at her so reverently, his lips featherlight against her throat just an hour before.

His money, his lavish lifestyle, she wants none of it. She just wants him, so she decides that this time she’ll be brave and shoot her shot before she has the opportunity to second guess herself.

Carefully, she sets down her cutlery and rests her chin against her hand. “So I’ve been thinking…about us.”

Aemond pauses, fixing her with his right eye.

Nerves flutter in her belly at his silence, but she continues anyway. “What we have, let’s make a proper go of it? I don’t care about your money, Aemond, I just want to be with you.”

He clears his throat, setting down his own knife and fork, before slowly wiping his mouth on a napkin. “I can’t do that,” He says quietly.

She is immediately struck by the hollowness in her chest, sucking in a harsh breath to ground herself against the lump forming in her throat.

Aemond reaches across the table, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re perfect,” He reassures her. “But I’m not, and I don’t do relationships. My circumstances are too complicated, I’d end up hurting you, and that’s the very last thing I want to do.”

She can’t argue with him, he’s being so bloody nice about it, and Aegon had warned her of this. She wants to scream at him, to cry, to tell him it isn’t fair, but it’s her that has asked for this, and at least he’s being honest with her, even if the truth does make her feel like her chest is being crushed under a vast weight. “I understand,” She chokes out.

“I’m sorry,” He says sadly, genuinely.

“Can you…can you just go, please?” She whispers, unable to look at him.

He nods, standing and presses a gentle kiss to her temple before leaving.

Only after she hears the front door click closed, and the feel of his lips have faded from her skin, does she allow herself to fall apart. Hot tears cascade down her cheeks, as she feels the presence that has taken up so much of her life leave behind a gaping void in its wake.

Chapter three || Chapter five || Series masterlist

[neukdaez]

say my name

rating: explicit

member: euijoo

notes: song-inspired fic, fem!reader, brother's friend, acquaintances to lovers, kitchen sex, praise, unprotected sex, creampie, maki is your younger brother, appearance by nicholas

a/n: my birthday fic for euijoo! i know his birthday's done both in korea and in where i live lol but it's still the 7th somewhere!!!! the song i incorporated into this is deny's say my name, which is a taglish song but i included translations for the lyrics i used here. this is my first full one shot on this account too aaaa so please enjoy!

there's something inherently exciting about doing things you shouldn't do, in meeting people who are bad for you, in sneaking around behind shadows, ducking from sight as the adrenaline pumps through your veins.

your heartbeat is loud, but your footsteps are quiet.

hindi mo ba napapansin, kung ga'no kainit ang hangin? (don't you notice how the air's turned hot?)

we've all had those moments in our lives when we stare off into space, teetering on the edge of doing something incredibly reckless. a lot of us have these moments more than once. sometimes more than once a day. you've had your fair share of internal battles about a risky decision, but this is the first time you can actually feel the suffocation creeping up on you as you rattle off your internal monologue.

but first, you need to find maki and wring his neck.

your brother has a friend. nicholas. and nicholas, in turn, has another friend.

euijoo.

and maki being the outgoing person he is, quickly became euijoo's friend, too. nevermind that nicholas and euijoo are both four years older than maki and are in their junior year of college while your little weasel of a brother is still in high school.

he met them in dance class, apparently. and they're thick as thieves.

so much so that they're in your living room right now, hogging the couch while they watch dance video after dance video on the tv.

this isn't a particularly new scene to witness. maki invites them over at least twice a week, and thanks to your parents' taste for the grander things in life, your living room has more than enough space for a bunch of young men to do their thing.

again, what business two twenty-somethings have in casually coming to a seventeen-year-old's house to hang out is beyond you. but you digress.

because at least maki has the sense to make friends with cute guys.

euijoo stands out to you, in particular. you're not sure why but there's definitely something about him. maybe it's his eyes, round and cute, like little cartoon saucers. or maybe it's his height. tall men are always a plus.

whatever it is, it's what's causing your inner turmoil, the more rational part of your brain fighting it out with the part of your brain that just makes you want to throw yourself at him.

wait, what?

you're at the top of the stairs, in the tiniest tank top you own, and while your lower half is safely covered in your pajama pants, the tight fit around your waist might raise some eyebrows (or catch eyes). the reasonable voice in your head tells you to cover up. you have visitors, for god's sake! but the small, mischievous whisper tells you to fuck it, flaunt it all to your brother's hot friends.

maybe you're overthinking it.

except, you aren't, because you're not blind and definitely not stupid.

nicholas did a double take the first time you met them, eyes scanning over you quickly. he's been tame since then, only greeting you curtly, but with a friendly enough smile nonetheless. then he turns back to his phone, typing away furiously. probably texting a girlfriend.

but euijoo's eyes linger. and while that may not mean anything now, you know that men are simple creatures. sauntering in front of him wearing what you're wearing now will definitely have him looking.

maybe you want him to look.

kalamnan ay unti-unting 'di maramdaman, natitirang konsensya, 'di na rin nadatnan (can't feel my insides, can't find what little conscience i have)

you climb down the stairs, your footsteps emitting soft thuds on the carpeted floor. your eyes stay true toward the direction of the kitchen, but a movement by the couch makes you shift your gaze.

you catch euijoo's eye briefly as he cranes his neck to look at you. you're still walking, albeit a little slower now. you fight the urge to smile when euijoo lets his line of sight fall to your chest.

"hey guys," you greet nonchalantly, breaking eye contact with euijoo. you glance at nicholas this time, sitting alone on the single-seater. he smiles warmly at you, giving a small wave.

maki is too engrossed in his phone to witness anything that's happening around him, particularly with his doe-eyed friend beside him on the couch.

"can you get me a soda from the fridge?" maki calls out to you as you enter the kitchen. you roll your eyes. ugh, little brothers.

you throw the refrigerator door open, snatching the four-pack of sodas. you pull one out for yourself, kicking the fridge shut before heading back out to the living room.

you press your soda to your neck, exhaling at the sensation against your warm skin. you extend your hand between maki and euijoo from behind the couch, handing them the rest of the sodas.

euijoo takes them from you, hand brushing against yours, and god does it feel like a predictable spicy romcom moment.

"thanks," euijoo says in his sweet honey voice. his lips turn up in the smallest of smiles.

"you're welcome," you reply, keeping your expression mostly neutral, raising your eyebrows in acknowledgement.

you turn away, making your way back to the stairs. you start your ascent and just before you disappear into the second floor, you give one final peek over the banister.

euijoo smiles once more as your eyes meet.

---

you still want to wring maki's neck. but maybe also reward him with a fat wad of cash.

it's late into the night and you're sure euijoo and nicholas have left. you heard the front door slam open and shut about an hour ago and you're certain you heard maki enter his room a little after that. so you practically frolicked down into the kitchen, in dire need of a midnight snack. your parents are conveniently off at an overnight business function so no one would give you shit for banging around with the pots and pans.

you're in the process of rummaging through the ramyeon drawer, scrutinizing the different flavors, when you hear a noise behind you. your heart seizes up in your chest as you spin around, bracing yourself against the counter, eyes wide in shock.

"euijoo?!"

the young man stands in the kitchen doorway, clad in what you can only identify as sleepwear of his own. his face mirrors yours, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

"sorry, just wanted to get some water," euijoo quickly apologizes, holding his hands out defensively.

you exhale, stance relaxing as you watch him shuffle uncertainly towards the other side of the kitchen. the only thing that stands between the two of you is the kitchen island.

"maki didn't tell me you guys were sleeping over," you point out, ramyeon long forgotten behind you.

"then again, he never tells me anything," you add. euijoo chuckles.

he's retrieved a glass from a cupboard and before you can think further ahead, you reach over to the fridge beside you, ducking to get the pitcher from within.

it's now that you realize that you're practically sticking your ass out for euijoo to ogle at. you nearly giggle at the thought.

you straighten up, turning to place the water on the island. euijoo is leaning over the marble, eyeing you. you're not quite sure how his expression reads, but you smile politely, sliding the pitcher towards him.

"where's maki, anyway?" you ask.

"with nicholas. nico brought his car and they, uh...," euijoo trails off, silencing himself as he pours the water into his glass.

you cock your head to the side. "did you just send my underage brother out to buy alcohol?"

euijoo purses his lips, not saying a word. he clears his throat, seemingly suppressing a smile.

you exhale, pinching the bridge of your nose. opening your eyes, you see euijoo is looking at you over the rim of his glass as he drinks. you stare back, crossing your arms.

"well, i had my suspicions," you declare. "i started around his age, too."

euijoo nods, setting his glass down. "i see where he gets it from."

you narrow your eyes and euijoo looks back at you innocently.

"why didn't you go along with them?" you question, leaning over the island casually. you're still wearing the tank top from earlier and euijoo doesn't hide the fact that he's still looking.

to his credit, there seems to be the faintest blush on his cheeks. so, he's not completely shameless, at least.

"and leave you here alone? come on, i'm more of a gentleman than that," euijoo says, tone easy. he plants his hands on the island, mirroring you as he leans closer across from you.

i wanna do the things i never tried with ya', i wanna hear you say my name now, won't ya'

"that's very thoughtful of you," you supply appreciatively. euijoo smiles.

"the pleasure is mine, _______."

the sound of your name leaving euijoo's lips sends you back to the hypothetical edge, standing over a steep drop into shame.

are you really this kind of older sibling? flirting with your brother's friend, dressed in ridiculously thin clothing, practically laying yourself out on a big, wide, flat surface? you might as well spell it out for him at this point.

"when are they coming back?" you ask, resting your chin on your palm. you're properly bent over the island now. if euijoo had no idea a few minutes ago, he sure as hell knows what's up by now.

euijoo turns his back to you for a moment, placing the now empty glass in the sink. he looks down at you from where he's standing and glances away briefly as if thinking.

"in a bit," he begins, coming around the counter. your breath hitches as you follow him with your eyes, heart thumping as he stops behind you.

you turn, leaning back against the marble now as euijoo watches you. every blink, every time you shift your weight, every breath, it feels like he's taking it all in.

"it's a friday night, so the traffic might be hell out there," euijoo points out. "i'd say that's another twenty minutes or so. give or take."

baby, hindi na makahinga, i'm suffocating pero hindi masama (baby, can't breathe anymore, i'm suffocating, but it's not bad)

"what do you wanna do till then?" you press on, batting your eyes at the man in front of you. one side of his mouth turns up in a smirk.

he's cute enough that it looks almost endearing. but the sparkle in his eye points to something else.

"whatever takes twenty minutes or so to do," euijoo suggests with a raise of his brow. he steps closer and you're almost toe to toe.

i kinda like it, adrenalina'y tumatakbo, dibdib ay kumakabog, sa tubig kinakapos (i kinda like it, adrenaline's running, chest is pounding, running short on water)

you reach out but euijoo beats you to whatever you're trying to do. his hand circles your wrist as he moves even closer.

kalamnan ay unti-unting 'di maramdaman, natitirang konsensya, 'di na rin nadatnan (can't feel my insides, can't find what little conscience i have)

euijoo's other hand lays on your hip. he ducks his head so he's level with your face. you breathe in and euijoo grins.

isang utos mo lang, hindi na mahindian, bae (just one command and i can't say no to you, bae)

in your head, you're cursing how he's so stupidly hot and cute and charming at the same time that you'd have no problem doing whatever it is he wants you to.

"kiss me," euijoo dares, eyebrows rising for a second, as if in challenge.

it's embarrassing how loud you moan once euijoo's lips are on yours. your hands immediately come up to cup at his face and his own palms smooth around your waist, up your back, before descending again to ultimately rest on your ass.

euijoo is a damn good kisser and you can barely keep up with every slide of his tongue on yours and every pass of his lips over your parted ones.

euijoo's hands move to your shoulders, pointer fingers hooking through the thin straps of your top, pulling them down. you gasp against euijoo's mouth, your chest exposed in its near entirety.

you pull back, watching with labored breaths as euijoo tugs the front of your shirt down, letting one of your tits hang out. you bite your lip as he takes ahold of it, squeezing gently. his other hand maneuvers itself beneath the waistband of your pajamas, wriggling under your underwear, before finally finding purchase against the heat between your legs.

it's pathetic, really, how quickly you turn to putty under euijoo's touch. a man you've known for barely a few weeks, pulling at your every string, playing you like a fiddle.

"cute," euijoo murmurs, leaning in to plant a brief kiss on the side of your mouth.

euijoo draws small, tight circles on your clit and you squirm, knuckles white as you grasp onto the counter behind you. you tuck your chin against your chest, squeezing your eyes shut when you feel euijoo tease at your entrance.

euijoo's hold on your breast disappears and instead, he gently handles one side of your face, tilting your head up. you meet his eyes just as he plunges one finger into you.

your eyes flutter shut and euijoo kisses you again, hot and messy and slick with both of your spit. he adds another finger and you whine, hips stuttering against his hand. your knees feel weak and you're convinced they're ready to give out.

euijoo pumps in and out of your slowly, letting your wetness coat his fingers. he curls his digits just as he pushes up and you clench down, a pleasurable heat spreading across your body.

"fuck, euijoo," you whisper. he pulls back slightly, observing your expressions.

"tell me when you're close," euijoo instructs. his voice has dropped, making you shiver.

euijoo picks up his speed, curling his fingers periodically, movements almost calculated like he's done this a million times before. the thought of euijoo being experienced, mastering the ins and outs of this, makes your whole body prickle with excitement.

"c-close," you manage to whimper out.

euijoo maintains his speed but presses harder and harder each time against your spongy walls. you clamp a hand over your mouth as you feel your belly tighten.

"euijoo, i'm gonna—oh my god!"

your orgasm wipes all coherent thoughts from your head, knocking the air out of you in one fell swoop. euijoo wraps an arm around your torso, keeping you upright as you ride your high out on his fingers. he presses his lips to your temple as you start to calm down, chest rising and falling rapidly.

euijoo pulls his hand from your pajamas, holding your gaze as he licks his fingers clean of you. your face burns but you can't look away, mesmerized by the way his lips and tongue move.

don't gotta get emotions if it's okay with ya', but I might fuck around and catch feelings for ya'

euijoo smiles, eyes raking over your disheveled form.

"we better hurry," euijoo speaks up, dipping down to kiss you. you taste yourself faintly on his mouth,

you tug your pajamas and underwear down, letting them fall to the floor. you kick them off to the side, pulling back as euijoo does the same. your eyes travel down to see his cock standing red and angry against his stomach.

"like what you see?" euijoo asks playfully, a hand coming down to stroke at his shaft a few times.

you bite down on your lip, trying to suppress a grin. euijoo chuckles, large hands taking hold of your hips. he maneuvers you to face away from him, your front digging into the marble of the kitchen counter.

you lean forward, letting your front squish against the surface, back arched perfectly. you hear euijoo whistle lowly, a hand smoothing down your back.

"looking good, _______," euijoo compliments, knees knocking against your thighs, signaling you to part them. you adjust your stance, exposing more of yourself to euijoo.

"that's it," euijoo mutters and you feel something poke against your waiting hole.

you let out a mix of a sigh of relief and a choked-up sob as you feel euijoo push in. you crane your neck to see what euijoo's doing and his eyebrows are knit together, concentration on his features as he fills you all the way in.

you see his eyes roll into the back of his head as he bottoms out, hands automatically gripping at your waist, keeping you steady.

euijoo starts moving and your head drops onto the counter. the stretch feels euphoric, euijoo's cock dragging deliciously against your walls.

"euijoo," you whine. his hips snap up repeatedly, pace starting to pick up as he loses himself in your cunt.

"so good," euijoo whispers. "you feel amazing, _______."

you preen at his words, burying your face in your folded arms. the angle lets him hit that spot deep within you perfectly and you already feel the beginnings of your second orgasm creeping up.

you gasp softly as you feel fingers tangling themselves in your hair and you cry out fully when you feel euijoo tug your head back by your locks.

"fuck, come here, angel," euijoo implores, an arm around your midsection as he pulls you against him.

euijoo's holding you up all by himself and you let him, too weakened by the way he's fucking into you.

euijoo's movements quicken, thrusts turning shallow as he ruts against you. you wonder for a moment if it's possible to go mad over cock. the thought is a ridiculous one, but with the way euijoo fucks you, harsh yet contained, with all the finesse and enthusiasm combined, you start to think it might not be too much of a stretch.

euijoo presses his mouth behind your ear, sucking lightly and you shiver, his breath tickling your sensitive skin.

"where?" euijoo asks, voice strained. it's obvious he's holding his release back.

it takes you a second to register his question and euijoo grunts softly, movements now erratic.

"where do you want it, angel?" euijoo repeats.

"inside," you say, walls clenching down as you feel your own orgasm approach. "please, inside."

it doesn't take long for euijoo's hips to stutter, fucking into you at a brutal pace for a few seconds before he stills, spilling himself deep in you. the feeling of him finishing inside sends you over the edge in turn, euijoo's name falling loudly from your mouth.

euijoo lets go of you and you slump over the counter, sweaty and spent. he slowly pulls out and you wince, pushing yourself upright with shaky arms.

"put this on, quick," euijoo reminds, handing you your underwear and bottoms. "before you, uh, make a mess on your kitchen floor."

you blush violently at his words, hurriedly pulling your clothes back on. euijoo does the same, wordlessly putting on his pajama pants.

you make eye contact and a second goes by without either of you saying a word. a moment later, the two of you burst out in silent giggles.

"i'd say that was about twenty minutes," euijoo comments, rubbing the back of his neck, a sudden shyness overcoming his demeanor.

before you can get a word out, you hear the front door slam open, hushed voices carrying through the house to the kitchen.

"_______? are you awake?" maki asks.

you and euijoo exchange a look.

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

I understand that there is a sizable amount of Jon stans whose delusions can be aggravating. Trust me, I’ve come across my fair share of people who think that the sun rises only for Jon Snow and no one else. But, it’s really annoying when certain sections of this fandom act like reading Jon as Azor Ahai is a result of Jon fans making shit up. No, we’re not. We’re literally reading what the text is telling us. We’re not reading into it, we’re reading it straight up. Mel’s singular ADWD chapter is literally just: hey Mel pay attention to Jon Snow, also there’s random stuff happening all over Westeros, and also pay extra attention to Jon Snow.

Mel’s visions are absolutely correct. What’s not correct is how she interprets them to fit an agenda/make herself appear more credible to others (Jon, Stannis). We already know exactly what this looks like when she sees towers being submerged in water, says it’s Eastwatch by the Sea when asked, even though in her head she’s like “oh it can’t be Eastwatch because that place doesn’t look like that”.

ADWD shows us that Mel looks into her fires searching for Azor Ahai and sees “only Snow”. There’s no other way of reading that other than “oh yeah if Mel is specifically looking for Azor Ahai and is seeing Jon Snow, then Jon is the Azor Ahai she’s looking for”. And the gag with this is Mel’s entire purpose, her existence, is to find Azor Ahai. But she completely misidentifies him so when she encounters the real deal, she’s in far too deep to make the obvious and necessary pivot. And it’s even funnier (and I think that’s what GRRM is going for) when there’s nothing special about Mel’s chosen hero Stannis, but there’s a lot that is special about the one she’s ignoring: Jon. Mel literally tells Jon “you’re a super special magic boy let’s make babies because of how super special you are, and these babies will be even more powerful than the ones I made with Stannis” but at the same time being like “yeah mr not-that-special Stannis is totally the guy I’m looking for”.

Plus, Mel’s “only Snow” is quite literally reaffirmed in Jon XII when he dreams himself atop the wall, armored in ice, and wielding LIGHTBRINGER. This isn’t some ordinary flaming sword. This sword burns “red in his fist”, which literally equates it to “the red sword of heroes” - Azor Ahai’s sword. Not only that but Mel’s ptwp is definitely going to be reborn. She has visions about a grey girl on a dying horse WHICH IS TRUE!! What’s not true is this girl being Arya. It’s Alys Karstark. She then has visions about daggers in the dark, which again happens!! Read the last few pages of Jon XIII ADWD. The one that hasn’t come yet but will (based on Jon XIII) is a “promised prince born amidst salt and smoke”. There’s a reason why GRRM included these things in the narrative. And there’s a reason why they happen sequentially. So unless Winds comes out and GRRM is like sike forget that ever happened, it’s pretty safe to assume that Jon is Azor Ahai.

[astroboots]

Hamster Days: A Moon Knight Tale

Pairing: Steven Grant x female reader

Summary: You come home to Steven's empty flat only to be greeted by a furry visitor and no sign of Steven. AKA Hamsteven.

Word Count: 2,050

Moon Knight Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | Thirstworldproblemss’ Masterlist

Shit. shit. shit. shit!

Any Londoner will know that there are no lack of rodents in the city. Anyone who has taken two steps inside the tube will tell you that. Still that doesn't mean that the sight of one of those furry critters scurrying across the tiled floor of the kitchen isn't a shock and horror all the same.

Your heart was not prepared. It's pounding hard and fast, galloping against the inside of your chest until you swear you can feel it trying to stampede its way out of your throat.

You need to catch it. Get rid of it before any of the three of them comes home. Because Marc will throw a fit. He's already constantly whinging about the state of cleanliness in this flat as it is. If he finds out about this, the man is going to be scrubbing every inch of space with bleach. Then there's Jake with his rodent phobia, who will most likely try to torch down the place. Poor man is never going to sleep again. And Steven? Knowing him and his big bleeding heart and penchant for animals, Steven will try to keep the rat as a pet.

None of these options sounds ideal to you.

Problem is you have no idea how to go about catching a rat. So you do what you always do when faced with the unknown. You google it.

What follows is what always happens when you do. You get very unhelpful results.

According to google you should get a glue trap, a snap trap or live traps. All of which will require several shipping days and you need the rat to be gone now.

Especially with how brazen it is. Racing in circles around your feet. Slinking from the kitchen to the living area and onto Steven's workspace and up his desk.

It's not even trying to hide from you. In fact it's the opposite, calling full attention to itself as it's perched on top of one of Steven's thick books, standing on its hind legs to make itself appear bigger. More visible, as it watches you. Like it doesn't even view you as a threat. Then it starts squeaking loudly as it stands there, not moving from the spot, as if it's calling out to you in challenge.

Your eye roams the space for anything useful. But all you can see are books, books and more books. As badly as you want to get rid of the rat, you're not heartless. You're not going to smack it with one of Steven's books. Instead your eyes settle on one of the mixing bowls Marc used to make pancakes this morning that's been left to dry on the dishrack. It looks large enough to comfortably trap a rat.

You grab the bowl, holding it behind your back, out of the rat's view (why you don't know, because you doubt a rat would understand what you intend to do with it). Then you start to approach the desk, slowly, as not to spook it.

The rodent remain standing on the desk, tiny paws clutched close to its chest as it continues to incessantly squeak excitedly at you the closer you get. It almost sounds like chatter.

You're standing next to the edge of the desk now, and the thing is staring right up at you. For some unfathomable reason it doesn't seem to be making any move to escape from you.

Slowly. Cautiously. You try your best to not make any jerky movements as the hand behind your back slips forward, still gripping on tightly to the bowl. Then in one fell swoop, you slam down the bowl onto the desk.

Success!!!

Steven is late home from work today.

It's not an altogether unusual occurrence, and you figure that he must've managed to piss of his manager Donna and earned himself overtime with inventory.

What is unusual is that he hasn't texted you to let you know about it. In fact he hasn't texted you since this morning. No photos of his lunch or an endearing selfie, no silly puns, no nothing.

You sent him a text about the rodent trapped on his desk but he hasn't responded and that is unusual.

Even if Marc or Jake are fronting today, both would check their messages and send you a text in reply. Neither of them have.

With a sigh, you walk up to the rodent trapped inside the clear glass bowl.

Poor little thing looks distraught. It runs up to the barrier trapping it, pushing its pink nose and tiny paws up against the glass, as it stares up at you with big pleading eyes that feels oddly familiar to you and makes your chest tighten.

Up close like this, with the thing safely trapped behind glass, you realise that the little creature isn't actually a rat.

It doesn't have the signature long tail, just a stumpy little thing, the size of a rice corn on its rear. Its fur isn't black or brown, but an umbrous golden shade that shines sleek and soft.

It's a hamster.

Probably someone's pet. Which explains why it wasn't scared and didn't try to run from you. It must've escaped from one of the other flats. Must've mistaken you for its owner.

You can still hear the thing squeaking through the glass. It's been at it all this time, as if pleading its case with you.

It must be hungry.

There is an assortment of suitable foods for a hamster in this flat, considering that Steven is vegan. You grab a handful of pumpkin seeds and almonds, as you carefully tilt the bowl ajar (in case the critter makes a run for it).

To your surprise, the hamster doesn't even try to escape, and you smile in excitement. It pads its little feet right up to the palm of your hand, climbing into it and settles there as he stares up at you and you're so elated by it that you almost want to squeal back at the hamster.

You remove the bowl the rest of the way and scoop it up with both hands closer to you.

The little fella is still squeaking animatedly, even though it's literally sitting on its food. You grab a large pumpkin seed from your hand and push it to the hamster's pink little nose. It sniffs it hesitantly, finally quieting down for a second, as if considering it, then it grabs the offering with both its adorable little paws and shoves it down its mouth and cheeks.

It squeaks again, and you offer it another seed that's immediately stuffed down its cheek again. Then another, and another. Before you decide that it's enough of food, its cheeks stuffed so full that it's a choking hazard and settle it back down on the desk again.

The moment its paws settles against the wooden surface, it immediately rushes back into your palm again, refusing to be parted from you. You try a second time, only for it to run back into your hand.

It's so cute.

Its tiny front paws are raised and it almost looks like it's waving at you as it squeaks at you. Its fur is ridiculously soft to the touch. You've always wanted a hamster as a kid but your parents were allergic and now that you're an adult you have a different obstacle. Whenever you've brought up the prospect of pets, Marc will look at you drolly and point at Gus as he deadpans that "we can't have more pets. Goldfishes gets jealous."

But Marc isn't here now, and this hamster has obviously taken a liking to you. Marc will have to pry this cutie off your cold dead hands.

Jake would never forgive you if he found out that you let a rodent roam free in the flat. But in your defence you needed to catch up on work and you couldn't get anything done with a hamster perched in your hand. What were you supposed to do? Put it back under the glass bowl? You tried that all of once and it looked up at you with such sad big eyes that you caved in less than a handful of seconds and immediately picked it up again.

You justify it by telling yourself that there's no real risk of the hamster escaping. To your delight, the hamster follows you everywhere like a little duckling. And everytime you put down your hand next to it, it would immediately climb in and snuggle into your palm. It's the cutest thing.

It's your hamster now, whether the boys like it or not.

Besides Jake is hardly blameless in this situation. It's almost 10pm and there's not a sign of communication from any of the three of them. If they have any objections to you adopting a stray hamster, then they should've come home earlier and none of this would have taken place.

You type away at your laptop, sipping at your tea as the adorable ball of fur is curled up in your lap sleeping.

His (... her??) little whisker twitches in its sleep, feet jerking ever so slightly and you're enamoured with the sight.

How does one determine if a hamster is a boy or a girl? And for that matter, should you maybe name the hamster? You can't just keep referring it as "it" after all. What's a good hamster name?

Hammie? Ham-Ham? Ham-ilton? No, Marc will hate all of those puns and refuse to let you keep the hamster out of sheer stubborn principle if you named it that.

You tilt your head observing your newly adopted hamster, its long lashes and pink little nose. You think of how big and sweet its eyes are when it looks up at you and how, strangely enough, it reminds you of Steven somehow.

Maybe you should name it Hamsteven? You smile at the thought of Steven's reaction at hearing the name as you put down your teamug to your protesting bladder, and damn you really need to pee.

Carefully, you scoop it up with both hands and perch it on the mousemat placed on the desk, figuring that's soft enough that it shouldn't wake him (her?) And somehow, luckily enough, it's still fast asleep as you get up and quickly run to the loo.

In the silence of the cramped toilet, you squat down over the toilet seat and check your phone again for the umpteenth time. You know it's silly to be worried, because this isn't the first nor the last time the trio disappears on you (not with the nature of their work), even if the lack of head's up is out of character. Still you can't help but worry regardless.

You know your only choice is to wait and ride it out, you can't exactly file a missing person's report under the circumstances. With a sigh you wash your hands, before venturing back out into the living room and towards the desk.

From afar, you spot little Hamsteven scurrying around the keyboard. It shouldn't be too peculiar of a sight, except, Hamsteven keeps stopping and looking up at the screen only to carefully walk around the keyboard, sniffing and looking over the layout before it tentatively settles on a key and seemingly pushes it down with one of its paw and walks away again, only to repeat the behaviour with a different key.

If you didn't know better, you'd say that it almost looks like Hamsteven is trying to type. Which-- you realize how absurd and crazy that sounds even as you think it.

You shake your head as you approach the desk, and at the sight of you Hamsteven excitedly squeaks and squeal again as it runs up to the bright laptop screen, standing up on its hindlegs. Its nose and front paws are pushing up against the screen as if to show you something.

Your eyebrows narrow and you lean down closer to see words that weren't there before greeting you on the screen.

'help im steven'

A/N: This is dedicated to @guruan and Steven Hamster Pinterest Nonny who asked for this crazy thing.

This is what happens when Kevin Feige refuses to announce season 2. This is the depths to which I've gone to in my desperation for new content. I had a blast writing it. Let me know if you guys liked it. because I would be lying if I said I didn't have ideas for a sequel. Especially since Hamsteven didn't get to sleep on tiddies in this installation.

[hsgucci94]

The frat boy’s girl

Word Count: 2.9K

A/N: not sure what this is but… hope you enjoy it!! x

masterlist

“Bye, Styles,” Y/N said, stopping in front of the bus stop, where their paths would now separate until the next morning, when they would reunite again in class for another day at college.

Harry had been texting all the way until that moment, and as soon as he heard her words he shoved his phone in the back pocket of his jeans and looked up at her. Y/N got momentarily lost in his eyes. As cheesy as it sounded, she couldn’t help it. His green, soft but daring gaze always got her mesmerised and forgetting for a moment where she stood in his life: right in the friend zone.

Harry Styles was this good looking, extrovert guy she ran into the first day of class. After a few lectures shared together, they hit it off and started hanging out either at the library or the caffe. Nowhere too fancy, but those moments were enough for the both of them to get to know each other a bit and for Y/N to realise that she only stood a chance with him if she was one of those sexy, long-legged girls that threw themselves at him at every party he got invited to, which were not few.

“You alright?” Harry asked her, frowning a bit.

“Uh-erm. Yeah, I’m fine,” she quickly replied, breaking out of her daydream. “Anyway, gotta go. Don’t miss me too much,” she added, slightly elbowing him with a sly smile on her face.

He laughed, and passed his hand through his hair, “Isn't that a hard task for you, sweetheart?,” he answered, emphasising the pronoun with an eyebrow raised.

She rolled her ayes as she tried to hide a smile, deep down wishing this playfulness between them was something more than just banter flirting. “Oh, it really got to your head, didn’t it? It was just one time, Styles. And I was drunk.”

“So?,” he walked the step that separated their bodies, his face now closer to hers, “Don’t drunk people always speak the truth?”

“Not me,” she said nonchalantly, pretending to be sincere.

But the gaze he had on her was making her nervous, the usual tingling that appeared on her stomach whenever he was close to her growing by the second. So she walked a step back subconsciously, which caused her back to hit the wall behind her. She was now trapped between the stone wall and his body.

“And what if I do? Miss you? Too much?,” he then asked, leaning in with a suggestive smirk.

“But you won’t,” her voice sounded lower than she expected, kind of showing the disappointment she felt in them, and cleared her throat to pretend that it had been intentional.

“But what if I do?,” he asked again, this time whispering, as if the wind could just take his words away if she didn’t react to them the way he expected her to.

“Don’t mess with me, Styles…”

“I’m not,” he shook his head slightly, still staring at her; his eyes jumping between hers trying to decode them. Months of being friends with her and he still couldn’t read her as well as we wished. “Fuck,” he mumbled, looking away just for a moment before turning his head back in her direction.

He hesitated at first, and then kissed her like her lips were air and he couldn’t breath. His lips fit on hers like they were made for each other, and for the first time since his last relationship Harry felt comfortable playing it safe with someone, and that someone was her.

***

The moment she hit send, she puckered her lips together and tried to contain a squeal. That Thursday was definitely one for the books, not only because Y/N had the guy she had been hung on for months kissing her in the middle of the street, but because he kind of seemed to be on the same page as her when it came to them. And that was definitely a reason to celebrate. So when Harry texted her asking her to go to a party with him that same night, she didn’t turn down the invitation like many other times before.

This time she would go, even if it was happening on a school night and she had class early the following morning. This was a special occasion, you could say.

Harry even offered to come pick her up and drive them both there, but Naomi, Y/N’s roommate, was going as well, so they made plans to arrive there together. Besides, she needed a bit more time to process the kiss and how things were between Harry and her at the moment. Yes, they kissed. Yes, they even had a little make-out session in the open. But that was it. After all that kissing, he hugged her in a way he hadn’t before, and then left as she waited for her bus home to arrive, still trying to wrap her head around whatever got into him to act like that towards her all of a sudden.

Was her crush on him mutual? Was it not and she had just now become another girl he had made out with? Those unanswered questions that were making her insecure flew around in her head as Nao drove them to the party, but as soon as she arrived there and spotted him, her mind simply went blank. She usually talked to Nao about how every part of her body paralysed whenever he was around, and how dumb she became whenever he asked her random questions that were not college related, only because he made her hella nervous.

Harry was standing close to the door, a red cup filled with unknown alcohol in hand as he talked to some guys. His usual black t-shirt, black jeans and brown Chelsea boots outfit was now combined with a red and black flannel, making him stand out among all those people. She looked around to see if she could find some else she knew apart from Nao, but of course she could not. The people she usually surrendered herself with were not big party fans, to be fair.

So there she was, in a frat party where she knew no one apart from her roommate, her roommate’s boyfriend Ryan and the guy she was friends with and who she had kissed a few hours before. Great. Simply great. Much to her disgrace, Nao and Ryan had already found each other and were now kissing like no one was watching. So Y/N was left alone, meaning she had to walk up to Harry and see if he wanted to be his guardian angel for the night. At least until her social battery ran out and was ready to go home.

“Hey,” she approached him, trying to sound confident even though she was currently so out of her comfort zone. The moment he heard her voice Harry turned around, the corners of his mouth lifting enough to show a small smile. That gesture was enough to ease Y/N’s anxiety.

“You came!,” he chuckled, “Was not sure if you’d stood me up this time, too.”

“Hey!,” she protested, although he was right to think there was a chance she would do that. After all, that was the first party invitation she accepted from him all year. “I’d rather do quieter plans, that’s all,” she shrugged her shoulder, smiling shyly.

He shook his head, this time smiling from ear to ear, because even though she didn’t enjoy crowds, she was now sharing the night with him. “These are my mates, by the way: Lindsay, Cameron and Jeremiah,” Harry then added, pointing at them as he said their names.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.”

“Hey. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” said Cameron.

To finally meet her? Had Harry talked to his friends about her?

Before Y/N could give it a second thought Harry grabbed her hand and guided her to the kitchen. That would have shocked anyone, that he had her hand inside his, but he did it quite often, specially when he had to make her go outside of the building because she’d rather spend her lunch breaks at the library than around campus.

The kitchen was empty enough for them to find a quiet place where he could fix her a drink.

“You’re gonna love it. Trust me," he assured her, grabbing the vodka and mixing it with the juice that had already been added to the cup.

Y/N loving an alcoholic drink? Yeah..., good luck with that, Harry. She was not very fond of drinking anything that wasn’t either water or coke. Zero, of course. She just didn’t enjoy the strong taste or the aftermath of consuming those other beverages.

“So what exactly convinced you to come here this time and not any of the other past ones?," Harry asked her.

“You,” she replied right away. He smiled, his eyes focused on his hands and the drink that was in the making in front of him. He didn’t want it to turn out too strong; just soft but tasty.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Your text was pretty convincing, to be honest.”

“Oh. My text did this?,” he looked her up and down to point out her presence.

“Well, your kissing helped, too.”

“That’s more of what I like to hear.”

“Of course you do,” she rolled her eyes, but while doing so she missed his cheeks blushing a bit.

He then turned his body to her, "Here. Try this." He handed her the cup and she took it, hesitantly. When she brought it to her lips and tasted it, she had to confess it was quite good. She could drink a few of those tonight. "Like it?," he rose an eyebrow, a cocky smile plastered on his face.

"Mm-hm," she took a another sip, passing her tongue over the corners of her mouth after. Yeah, it was definitely good.

"Cool. Now that you're settled for the party, let's got back in there," and he grabbed her hand again, his drink on his free one.

He walked ahead of her to make sure she could move through the crowd without feeling trapped or anxious, and soon they were back with Harry's friend, on the same spot. They were pretty nice lads, specially because they made sure she felt included by asking her questions about herself and telling her some of their crazy adventures of their almost-ending freshman year in exchange, which got her laughing out laud and causing Harry to smile while staring at her.

At some point he was feeling so good and so comfortable and happy she actually was there he felt like hugging her even from behind. That gesture had not been meditated; it just happened, and he enjoyed that more than the fact that her back was glued to his chest and he could rest his chin on her head and smell her shampoo without any effort. Him grabbing her hand was one thing, but him passing his arm around her neck as he pulled her to him was a completely different one.

“I’m too comfortable right now it’s scary,” she admitted, only loud enough for him to hear. His friends were arguing about something Jeremiah said; apparently it didn’t happen that way, or at least the rest of them didn’t remember it happening that way.

“Me, too,” Harry replied, and then caressed her ear with his lips, before whispering: “I want to kiss you again.”

His words caused her stomach to flip, but also her blood to momentarily freeze. She was not the type to make out with boys at parties, but she wanted to be his type. So she turned around to face him and tiptoed so that her eyes were almost at the same height as his.

"Hi," she said, shyly.

"Hi," he replied, chuckling a bit. And just when she thought he would close the space between their mouths and kiss her like he did earlier that afternoon, he said: "Wanna go somewhere?" She frowned. "C'mon, I think you'll like it," he added.

"Okay," she nodded.

By the time they were getting out of there, girls she had seen around college were staring at Y/N and their entwined hands as if she was stealing her man, so she looked somewhere else until they were both inside his car.

"Oh, yeah, you were right. I do like McDonald's," she spoke in a half-half-not sarcastic tone, seeing how he was directing the car to a drive-through.

Harry chuckled, shaking his head, "Oh, hush. This isn’t our final destination, just a little stop on the way. Plus, what else would be open right now other than Macas?"

He was right. It was past midnight and very few food places were still serving dinner at that time. She was a hamburger over pizza kinda girl, anyway, so it was fine.

"So you wanted to get us out of your frat party to grab McDonald's and come to the beach." Harry had just parked his car in front of the beach, which was solely and beautifully illuminated by the streetlights. Y/N was half-way through her hamburger, while Harry hadn’t started eating his yet, since he was not one to eat and drive at the same time.

"No," he calmly replied. He put a bunch of fries in his mouth and chaw them before saying: "I wanted to spend time with you alone. Without any disturbance."

That and the fact that he knew her well enough to know how little she liked partying. He wouldn’t tell her, but he had truly enjoyed seeing her join his plan and meeting his lads at his frat house. So after a couple of hours he figured it was time she got out of there. He wanted to talk to her, and didn’t believe the party to be the place to do so anyway.

"Wanna go skinny dipping?," she said out of the blue, catching him so off-guard.

"You skinny dip?," he lifted an eyebrow.

"I don't, but I also don't do most of the stuff I did today so why not add skinny dipping to the list?"

"Okay," he nodded, a smile peeking through his lips, "Alright. Let's go."

Harry didn’t even bother finishing his burger. They both got out of the car and started running towards the beach.

It was an early May night, and the summer weather was slowly making its comeback after 180 days of cold and rain. As Y/N ran towards the seashore, Harry following her right behind, she started to undress, leaving her clothing scattered on the sand. She left her panties on, though, and was discretely-not-so-discretely covering her bare chest with one of her arms wile sprinting towards the sea.

The faster she would get in the water, the better, she thought.

Harry figured he would leave his boxers on too, even though that wasn’t the purpose of skinny dipping. But then again, who cared? It was their plan, and therefore they were the ones making the rules. Whatever made her feel comfortable was fine.

When she was just about to get her feet in the water, he came running and grabbed her from behind, lifting her off the ground and earning a squeal from her.

"Harry!," she laughed, as the guy tightened his grip around her stomach, securing her in his arms, "Put me down!"

He chucked, and kept on running in the water until it reached up to his waist. He then stopped and let her touch the wet sand with her two feet.

"Why did you do that for?," she complained, facing him, and trying her best not to laugh or he wouldn’t believe she was pissed.

"You would have backed down once you felt how cold it was!," he laughed, and started tickling her on the sides.

"Stop!," she giggled, "And that's not true! I would have got in regardless." She giggled again, which gave away her little white lie.

"Oh, c'mon! I'm your best friend. I know you by now."

"You are?"

"Yeah. Is there anyone you have spent more time with this year other than me? I don’t think so," Harry chuckled, keeping on tickling her. He was right.

They have been thick as thieves most of the time. She bit the inside of her cheek, and Harry stopped the tickling. "What?", he asked, suddenly concerned he had hurt her.

"Best friends don't kiss."

Oh. He gulped at her words, and closed the little space left between their bodies, "Well..., that's because I want to be upgraded."

Y/N's breath got stuck in her chest. He noticed her sudden reaction, so before he could back down, he cautiously grabbed one of her hands in his and locked their fingers together. Harry then leaned into her slightly, and they sealed with their lips the pact that officially made them boyfriend and girlfriend.

Please, like & share if you liked it? it’ll help so much 🥺✨thanks!! x

full masterlist

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-zelda-fan]

Guys. Why is there even a debate here. Some of the games were explicitly written to be connected, some of them weren't. Not everything has to fit into one cohesive timeline. As a matter of fact, they can't. Now, there is some more nuance to it. Read below for my explanation (infodump) plus a more nuanced chart.

Red and blue lines are canon within the games' text. Ambiguities are filled in with green. I'll get more into that later. Let's first explain the two completely separate mini timelines.

The Four Swords miniseries stands mostly alone. The Master Sword and the Triforce are present in every other game or (mostly--looking at you, Master Sword in LoZ and AoL) have a good reason not to be, but they are not present at all in these three games. Instead, we have the Four Sword and Light Force. The only wrinkle is that Ganondorf shows up in FSA... so I don't know about that one. I don't think anyone does.

As for BotW and TotK. Oh brother. What do we do with these. Skyward Sword is intended to take place seemingly millennia, or at least several centuries before Ocarina. We see the founding of Hyrule with the first monarch and her chosen knight, the cycle of recurring evil and heroism being established, and the forging of the Master Sword

Wait. What about Rauru and Sonia? I thought they were the first rulers of Hyrule. And if the Zonai were around long before Hyrule, where is any of their presence in Skyward Sword? Huh. Alright. We don't know how much time passed between the first Calamity and the second, but from the past era of TotK to its present, we can account for at least 10,105 years of history. We don't even need to get into how Zora and Rito coexist or anything smaller like that. There's just no fucking way these two games fit with any of the others. Fine, that's fine. Moving on.

There's also a little hiccup around the Oracles. Nintendo seems to go back and force on whether the Oracles feature the same Link as in ALttP and LA, but if they do, it probably makes more sense that Oracles happen before LA (the linked Oracle game ends with Link boarding sailing off on a small ship and LA starts with him on one). So like... I guess they fit there?

Either way, let's take a second to look back at where this idea of a timeline split happened. Remember that WW and TP both clearly take place after OoT. That isn't theorizing, that's in the actual text of each game. The thing is, they're mutually exclusive. TP has Ganondorf being executed, as he would have been after the Hero of Time goes back to his original era and warns Zelda that her plan to get to the Triforce first isn't going to work (which is implied to be what happens at the "The End" screen of OoT). WW has Ganondorf coming back by breaking the seal put on him, and the Hero of Time didn't appear to stop him again (as would happen if Link was sent back in time). Fans started theorizing way back in 2006 that OoT created separate timelines, with WW and TP being mutually exclusive sequels to it as the evidence.

Some fans have asserted that Nintendo just "took" the fan theory. But come on, put everything together here. The texts of OoT, WW, and TP HEAVILY imply the timeline split. The only reason we called it a theory is because the writers didn't literally say "And then the timeline split in two". The texts are pretty clear though. It's the only thing that makes sense. That isn't to say that there needs to be a cohesive timeline, and that the split is the only way to fit it together. No, OoT is connected to both WW and TP no matter what. That was the intent. It's just that the explanation for OoT to have mutually exclusive sequels actually fits neatly into the texts of the games.

And now we come to the tricky part. Put yourself back into the 90s real quick. ALttP seems to have been written as a prequel to Zelda 1, showing Hyrule before its period of decline. Alright, let's just accept that because it may as well be true. The lore at that point was so thin that it made enough sense. I kinda slapped Zelda 1 and 2 at the end there to show it, because we do have a cohesive timeline from ALttP to TFH. That's fine, all well and good.

Likewise, OoT seems to be written as a prequel to ALttP. We see conflict over the Triforce, the origin of Ganon, the seven sages, and an earlier iteration of the Master Sword. Back in 1998, we had no reason to not believe it. These are tenuous connections that are not explicit in the games' text, so I've paired them with green lines to show it.

But wait. ALttP is ALSO mutually exclusive to TP and WW. Oh brother. What do we do about this? Even after figuring out the timeline split in 2006, fans didn't know what the fuck to do with the first four games of this franchise. They could go after TP, but that's even messier than putting them right after OoT. Yuck. This doesn't feel good at all. Oh yeah, and then there's the Four Swords games that don't fit anywhere.

Now you can imagine the position the writers of Hyrule Historia found themselves in when they were tasked with creating an official timeline. Some of the games have certain explicit connections, as detailed in my first chart. But they had to cram everything into one timeline. Well. They knew they had a timeline split in OoT, because that's what the texts of OoT, WW, and TP collectively say. The lore of ALttP also mentions seven sages (or wise men, but let's call them sages), but not a legendary hero. So... if you really stretch your brain out here... it kinda makes sense that there's a timeline where the Hero of Time died fighting Ganon. Maybe. Kinda. Not really, but kinda. And then there's the Four Swords miniseries. Fuck it, throw them in randomly.

The two-way split doesn't disagree with OoT's text at all, which said that Link won. The three-way split does disagree with it by asserting that Link lost. But if we're really trying to fit everything into one timeline, that is the cleanest place to put them. Some people really hate this, but it does seem that those are the same people that demanded that there be an official timeline in the first place. ie the same people who were gonna be pissed off with anything Nintendo gave them that wasn't exactly their own theory being confirmed.

Alright, real talk. The producers of the Zelda series have said time and time again that they think of what would make a fun game then write a story that fits around it. The Wind Waker devs wanted you to sail around the ocean. Then the writers decided "oh, we could put this after Ocarina! After all, weren't they left without a hero? What if Ganon came back with no one to stop him? How would that problem resolve itself? What if the gods just flooded the world?" Then the Twilight Princess devs wanted a spiritual successor to Ocarina, with an epic adventure on horseback across the traditional Zelda kingdom setting. So the writers went "hey, in Ocarina, Link warned Zelda about Ganon, right? What if he was executed then, and then the world was never flooded?"

We have to realize that trying to put games with this design philosophy into a neat little timeline is a futile effort. It's never gonna work because it wasn't designed to. More so than any other storytelling medium, video games take so many approaches to continuity. The Halo games were all meant to be sequential and fit neatly into a strict timeline. Pokemon is all canon within itself but the ties between games are less important than the stories of each game. Mario essentially has no canon except for recurring characters and settings. Zelda is gameplay first, canon second. That's why the two most recent mainline games don't even try to fit in the canon of the previous eighteen. That's just how it works and we're gonna have to accept that.

[furinana]

Megaten Spotlight, an official newsletter made prior to SMTIV's release, got FULLY TRANSLATED!

While focused on the voice cast, exclusive information surrounding the development of several characters was touched upon, including juicy obscure lore about Mido and Stephen.

Taken from SMTIV's official website. Translated by takujilvr and commissioned by furinana

Megaten Spotlight: Sabbath Newsletter (108 Macca)

Text and Reportage by Shinji Yamamoto

OOOOOO

Jonathan/Kamiya Hiroshi/Forbidden Anonymous Report

A Once-in-a-Lifetime Opportunity

Kamiya Hiroshi is very busy. This recording session was a gift made possible thanks to the strenuous efforts of his coordinator.

Even today, he could only show up for recording after finishing the rest of his work.

The Deciding Factor was His Versatility

His appointment to the role strongly reflected the opinions of the female staff. Apparently they grinned, saying his voice fit Jonathan's concept and visuals perfectly.

But what really caught my eye, aside from their support, was his versatility. He can perform a wide range of roles, from handsome men to madmen.

In addition to Jonathan, he also plays a character who appears in the latter half of the story, for reasons pertaining to the game's plot.

I knew he’d be able to perform both roles splendidly.

Fighting with Real Swords

He's frighteningly strict in regards to the art of acting.

He gave a great deal of attention not just to the nuance of the lines, but the context they stem from.

Even when we gave the OK, he would ask to do a retake if he wasn't satisfied with the result. In the end, he gave so much of his time to us that he had to make an unplanned addition to his schedule.

I felt he had the approach of a modern-day "Samurai".

Living Up to the Title of Law Hero

Up until now, Chaos has had more vocal supporters thanks to its bold claims and good balance of recruitable demons.

The secret challenge put before this series entry is whether or not it can add to the ranks of Law adherents.

Seeing his acting, the way Jonathan laughs with the protagonist and sheds tears before him, I'm convinced this hurdle has already been cleared.

In Conclusion

After recording, I asked for a photo despite his busy schedule.

This gentle expression conveys his personality well.

I earnestly wish for his continued good health, and that his fans won't throw rocks at me after seeing this photo.

AUDIO FILES

01_01 [Hiroshi Kamiya] I'm Kamiya Hiroshi, who does the voice for Jonathan. Now Jonathan, he's a bit like the honor student there's at least one of in any class. His conduct and morals are flawless, there isn't a single gnarl in his character, but because of that he can be a bit inflexible from time to time, and then again sometimes not. But being the golden boy can come with its own particular forms of suffering, and I feel like in some scenes you might gradually come to see glimpses of that here and there. You'll have to play the game to find out. Thank you!

01_02 [Jonathan] S-Stop pulling my hair, Walter! It won't straighten out, I got it from my mother!

01_03 [Jonathan] Some say, "Might makes right. I have no hand to extend to the weak." …I simply can't comprehend that way of thinking.

01_04 [Jonathan] I'll only tell you this because it's you, all right? Only because it's you! I'm afraid I can't bring myself to like women very much. Being raised in a household with two elder sisters and one younger made me lose any illusions about them I might've had. You're a man, so I feel much more at ease with you.

Walter/Konishi Katsuyuki/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Troupe's Vice-Leader is a Fisherman's Boy

Lunchtime in Jinbocho

Before the recording session at 2:00, we sated our hunger at a famous ramen shop near the studio. It was before work, so when the call came he asked for "Veggies, salty!"*. *[TN: Referring to infamous chain Ramen Jiro, where you have to make your topping orders very fast-- "Garlic! Veggies! Fat! Salty!"]

This time Konishi Katsuyuki, who plays Walter, is recording. He's a remarkable actor who works as the vice-leader of a theatrical troupe in addition to performing many roles as a voice actor.

He's also tall and has refreshing looks. How many things has heaven blessed him with? The photo below was taken before recording.

We gave him a summary of this SMT title and an explanation of his character. During the prep meeting, we found out that he's an avid gamer. After enduring the worry that we'd lose track of time talking about games with him, I attended the recording session.

A Chaotic Recording

The recording session reached new heights of chaos. The script he was given was full of missing pages.

Walter boasts the most voice lines out of any character, which means that reviewing the script takes up a lot of time as-is.

Perhaps this was the work of a certain bigwig demon he also plays.

Now this is Acting!

To the left, you can see Konishi recreating a scene where Walter, due to a certain event, vents his emotions to Jonathan, who should have been his friend. His clenched fist represents the katana Walter holds during the scene.

It once again drove home to me that voice acting isn't just about reading lines, but performance.

A Brief Rest

The recording actually lasted five hours.

But today's work only amounted to about 60% of the voices he's been assigned to do. The rest would be recorded at a later date.

Dinnertime in Jinbocho

It was dinnertime by the time we left the recording studio.

The scene where Walter enjoys breakfast with his friends crossed my mind, and even though I hadn't decided on dinner yet, I chose to have bread for breakfast the next day, and hurried home.

AUDIO FILES

02_01 [Katsuyuki Konishi] Yes! Thank you! Hello! I'm Konishi Katsuyuki! I play the part of Walter. Right, anyway, Walter, he doesn't talk very nice, but he's a great guy at heart. How do I put this, he's a very human character. He openly expresses the things that most people hide, and if everyone sees that they might be a little turned off by it; but he's very honest; he's a good boy. So I hope you enjoy him a lot. Honestly, I think it's a pretty wonderful thing! Please see him in action in SMT 4!

02_02 [Walter] Enough of that "Ooh, you'll catch cold!" drivel, Jonathan, you sound like a naggy old wife. I can't abide being constricted, this chest must stay bared!

02_03 [Walter] I'll only say this if you promise not to tell anyone! Cats, I just love 'em. When I see one outside, I can't help but crouch down and give it some pets! Wait, no. I mean, listen, I can't stand fish. And they can take it off my hands, can't they? That's why I love cats. Right.

02_04 [Walter] "What is this world without God's order? We don't need any excess of individuality." There are some who say this, but I wonder if they even know where their own heads are at.

Isabeau/Sawashiro Miyuki/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Sole Lady Samurai is Bilingual

Taking the Subway to the Studio

We boarded the subway from Sangenjaya, where the company building is located. The studio we headed to is in Jinbocho.

The laptop I was carrying holds the data for all the scripts used in recording. If this laptop gets stolen, you can be sure a written apology won't save me. Preparing for unforeseen circumstances, I made sure to keep my nerves sharp even while I was on the move.

Today's recording was with Sawashiro Miyuki. I'm not familiar with the voice acting industry, but even I know her name. I also know she's proficient in English.

She gives a quiet impression, but has a fair amount of presence. I felt the awe you'd get from a still body of water holding back a raging current.

Before recording, we gave an explanation of her character, Isabeau. But she understood the character perfectly. I spend most of my time silently working at the development offices, and I'm not good at conversation, so nothing made me more grateful than this.

A Consummate Performance

Her performance plan was even more perfect.

Not only did she nail the image of Isabeau we had in mind, she polished it even further, without any need for retakes. As Isabeau, she conveyed merry excitement, and acted with bizarrely high energy after inhaling gas.

So many new expressions of Isabeau were given life that couldn't be conveyed through text alone. If at all possible, I'd like to progress the story together with Isabeau, without having to part ways.

The End of Recording

Her recording session ended without incident.

She briskly left the studio to go to her next job.

Back to the Office

I stopped back by the office to prepare the materials for tomorrow's recording sessions.

I was met with the envious gazes of staff who were knowledgeable about voice acting, having become "the guy who got a conversation out of Sawashiro Miyuki".

AUDIO FILES

03_01 [Miyuki Sawashiro] Hello everyone, I'm Sawashiro Miyuki. Isabeau, who I play, is a very strong girl, one of the few to become a Samurai, and she works hard to stand on equal footing with men in a society where she's expected to walk one step behind. In present-day terms, she's like a career woman working hard on the forefront of things. She may not seem like it at first glance, but she's a girl with a very focused will. Definitely play the game and see for yourself how she turns out.

03_02 [Isabeau] Your hairstyle is called a "ponytail", correct? Maybe I should grow out my own hair. I wonder if it'd suit me.

03_03 [Isabeau] "So we're talking like, super lame, but so lame it makes me laugh my ass off, yanno?" It seems this dialect was common in Tokyo once, but how exactly does one laugh off an ass?* *[TN: in jpn Isabeau's confusion revolves around the phrase 'gyaku ni ukeru'. "gyaku ni" can mean "in reverse" but also "on the other hand", and "ukeru" can mean "to find funny" but also "to take", so Isabeau's confused by the slang-- she thinks the person with the 'accent' possesses something that is backwards, and she doesn't know what.]

03_04 [Isabeau] I must tell you something very important. You mustn't go spreading it around. When I think of that one special gentleman, it makes me want to have a romance so enthralling I can't even take my meals! But it's not an easy one, maybe let's say, our parents are both opposed to it. And this is where it really gets good! Finally, after so much deliberation, we choose to elope and-- Excuse me, I got rather carried away. I suppose before all that I need to experience love for myself first.

Navarre/Ōhata Shintarō/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Behold a Gallant Man Who's So Hard to Hate That You Can't Help But Hate Him!

A Quick Lunch Between Recordings

This morning we managed to finish recording one voice actor's lines without incident. Two more are scheduled for the day.

To the right you can see me having lunch before the next session. It wasn't very good manners, but I also went over the scripts we'd be using that afternoon.

Even a Problem Child Outside the Game

It was actually pretty rough going selecting Navarre's voice actor.

The development staff had varying opinions on just how annoying Navarre should be, and we couldn't quite seem to figure out an image we could all agree on.

Then we borrowed some wisdom from the director of the recording studio. On the basis of this recommendation, we listened to some sample voices, and decided to have Ōhata Shintarō play Navarre.

He came without a moment's delay. He was unpretentious and very friendly. To the right you can see him doing a promotional autograph. He handles the pen so smoothly. Navarre could learn a thing or two from him.

Thanks to his acting chops, Navarre became many times more enjoyable than we originally planned.

If that pen was a sword, Ōhata would be a remarkable Samurai.

A Happy Accident

Ōhata's Navarre went above and beyond what I had imagined. The director was right on the money.

The likeability he brings to Navarre will make his tragic fate stand out all the more.

A Quick Break

The session ended faster than planned. This is yet another one of his skills.

We saw him off from the studio.

A Luxurious Time

Thanks to him, we had some extra time before the next session. We took a short break with some coffee, courtesy of the studio staff.

This must be what it's really like to live as a Luxuror.

AUDIO FILES

04_01 [Navarre] Whuh?!

04_02 [Navarre] If there aren't any demons it'll all be fine… And there aren't any demons in the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado…

04_03 [Navarre] [Mindbroken laughter]

The COOL☆ Way to Throw a Tantrum

You're on break with your close friends, and you want to get curry for lunch, but everyone else is fine with going to the convenience store. These moves will come in handy in such situations.

Move 1: The Paper Sheet

Stand with your arms relaxed. It's easier to move if you lower your center of gravity.

Vigorously push either one of your shoulders to the front, like you're hitting something.

Stick out your arm, letting it move with the force of your shoulder. Twist your upper body around while doing this. Now do the same thing with your other side.

Repeat while whining. You don't necessarily have to use your words, just make sure to convey your intent.

Protagonist/Kaji Yūki/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Leading Role

We spent almost the whole day immersed in work.

The last voice actor didn’t have that many lines to record. We planned for the recording time to total less than two hours.

I felt a premature sense of relief.

But……

The Players had Unexpected Knowledge and Wisdom

Nothing’s been published on the official site yet, so I was surprised by how many people online guessed correctly.

Today we’ll be introducing Kaji Yūki, who plays the protagonist.

The Character of a Samurai

I was struck by his inquisitive gaze as we explained the concept of a protagonist who recruits enemy demons, and the mythological origins of the major demons who stand in his way.

I could already feel the character of a Samurai radiating from the way he refused to shrink before demons.

Surely it’s a quality the Gauntlet wouldn’t overlook.

The Personality of ‘No Personality’

SMT puts emphasis on the player being the protagonist.

So we had to give him the unreasonable order of displaying heroism without displaying too much individuality.

To be honest, taking his presence and his voice’s impact into account, I felt a touch nervous before the recording.

But his knack for restraint was superb.

Given his ability to understand our angle and promptly execute it, I believe all his stats would be very high.

Abundant Variations

The majority of the protagonist’s lines are short phrases, such as the “Yahh!” when he swings his sword and his “Ugh!” when he takes damage.

He gave as many “Yahh!”s and “Ugh!”s as the recording time permitted. His excellent performance sparked a passion in me as I gave the orders.

To the right, you can see me striking a pose to explain the nuances of the protagonist’s voice when he lands after falling from a great height.

A Rich Recording Session

During his recording, I didn’t just use my head, but my body, to convey the nuance of his lines.

Despite the short recording time, I had a rich and extremely rewarding sense of exhaustion by the end.

Feeling a bit of discomfort in my thighs due to lack of daily exercise, I left the recording studio.

AUDIO FILES

05_01 [Yuki Kaji] Hello everyone, it's Kaji Yuki. Some of you have probably guessed who I'm playing. I'm the protagonist! In SMT the protagonist represents the player themselves, so I tried hard to make my performance cool without bringing in too much invidiuality and spoiling the player's sense of identification. This game is a story of the choices the protagonist makes. Please weave the tale of SMT 4 with those choices, everyone.

05_02 [Flynn] [Dying Flynn noises]

05_03 [Flynn] Summon!

05_04 [Flynn] [Climbing grunting Flynn noises]

Issachar/Maeno Tomoaki/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Bass-Voiced, Reliable Childhood Friend

The Character’s Role

Issachar is the first character whose face you see.

In the game’s setting he plays the role of the protagonist’s childhood friend, while simultaneously bearing the responsibility of a guide, easing the players into the game’s world.

So Issachar is a very important character.

We put a lot of thought into selecting his voice actor and the phrasing of his lines, so that he’d appeal to a wide range of players.

Reliable Performance

Since Issachar acts as a guide, he has to be a character that the players will want to take along with them.

Maeno Tomoaki, Issachar’s voice actor, conveys that dependability with his powerful bass voice. I’m sure he’ll be able to comfortably guide the players into the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado.

Although Issachar doesn’t have many lines, he’s a character with turbulent emotions, going from speaking in a gentle tone to suddenly violently raising his voice.

The above photograph shows him just before he does Issachar’s dying scream. The sudden change in him left me awestruck.

I was so transfixed that I forgot to take a photo……

A Tearful Farewell

This is a photo of us after recording.

It was taken after the scene where Issachar, choked by tears, pours out his emotions.

It’s easier to make a middle-aged man cry than I thought. His tears became my own as I saw him off.

AUDIO FILES

06_01 [Issachar] Haha! I suppose so.

06_02 [Issachar] I'll have my vengeance!

06_03 [Issachar] Shall we?

The COOL☆ Way to Catch Change with Your Feet

We drop our change at vending machines a good deal more often than we’d like to admit.

We’ll introduce a COOL way to deal with this situation.

Move 2: The Chicken

Stick your lower back out behind you. Keep your upper body as still as possible, and…

Rotate your lower back to the other side from behind.

Use the force of your rotating orbit to raise your leg. Fix your aim on the change at your feet…

And twist your leg as you stomp on it. Don’t let your prey escape.

Akira/Gōda Hozumi/Forbidden Anonymous Report

You Won’t Find These Two On the Website

The Joys of the Job

Game development is harsh work that exhausts and burdens one’s mind and body. One page isn’t enough to convey how painful it is.

But there are joys I’d never experience if not for this job. This time, Gōda Hozumi, who plays the two Akiras, is recording.

There might be readers unfamiliar with ‘Akira’.

Because of the timing of his appearance, and to maintain the balance of the work’s setting, the two Akiras aren’t introduced on the official website.

I’ve known about Gōda since I was little, when he played the role of a perfect soldier.* *[TN: Chirico Cuvie, from Armored Trooper Votoms.]

I really admire him, and in my humble opinion the character he played is one of anime’s top three handsome men of all time. So I’m a lot more tense than usual, and during the briefing my words seem to get stuck in my throat.

The two Akiras he plays are an Akira with an aura of Law, and another with an aura of Chaos.

The tricky thing about this role was how he had to play, fundamentally, the same “Akira”, while still bringing out the differences between the two.

Truly Perfect

Just so I’m making it clear.

Both Akiras became deeply impressive characters thanks to his performance.

In-game, when you find yourself about to press the remote control’s switch, that means you’ll meet Akira very soon.

Normie Experience

You can see a photo of the two of us to the left.

I never imagined I’d be taking a photo with “the man on the TV” I looked up to as a child.

In this moment I felt, from the bottom of my heart, how happy I was to have this job.

The End of Recording

On the way home, for no real reason, I checked today’s horoscope on my cellphone.

It seemed like my sign was in the lowest-ranked position. My career luck was especially bad. After today, I knew that couldn’t be true.

I smiled and followed the route home.

AUDIO FILES

07_01 [Blasted Akira] Your faces tell me you have no idea what's going on. That's understandable. There's no need to worry, we aren't your enemies.

07_02 [Infernal Akira] Oh yeah, lemme ask, where you guys from? I mean, not like it really matters.

07_03 [Both] [Blasted Akira]: We'll make sure your efforts are remembered till the end of time. Farewell, Messiahs. [Infernal Akira]: Damn, you guys are something! That's my Intruders for ya!

Hikaru/Inoue Marina/Forbidden Anonymous Report

A “Light” Hidden by a Uniform

Trouble Brewing

The problems that occurred during Inoue Marina’s recording session almost broke my heart.

In the middle of recording, we found out that a crucial scene with Hikaru was missing from the script.

A certain somebody must have been present at the recording. We wouldn’t be able to do this the easy way.

Handling it Cooler than Cocytus

At this point she had already recorded Hikaru’s lines and started on our old friend’s. Changing characters in the middle of recording can really disrupt the flow of an actor’s performance plan.

After she finished the lines for our old friend, we’d have to have her do Hikaru once again. In contrast to my panicked state, she understood the situation without once breaking her beautiful composure.

Our friend is very reliable indeed. While she was playing this character, I had to work out appropriate lines for Hikaru while checking her performance at the same time.

Borrowing Our Old Friend’s Knowledge and Wisdom

After that phase of recording ended, we went back to recording Hikaru. She helped us out with the parts of the script we had issues with.

With her suggestions, we managed to record some very nicely fitting lines. I came to know firsthand the magnificence of the knowledge and wisdom our friend gave humanity.

A Stormy Recording

She gave us an autograph for promotional use. She then left the studio for her next assignment.

The studio was once again calm, as if our earlier troubles had never happened. This time around, in the words of a certain entertainer, “my stomach turned to friggin’ ice!”.* *[TN: Yamashita Kenji, a personality appearing on entertainer Matsuko Deluxe's variety program Out Deluxe. Notable for his unusually squeaky voice. The line in question is 肝を冷やしたぜ！]

AUDIO FILES

08_01 [Hikaru] I wonder how it'll look if we take a walk together? We can go arm in arm if you like. Hold hands, too. Squeeze them, like a couple. I'll do anything you want… As long as you hold my interest.

08_02 [Hikarucifer] The nail that sticks out is hammered down in the human world, yet in the end it's king-of-the-hill: the winners rise by process of elimination. See Tayama; he has no power, but he draws the people's ire by making more of a display of it than he needs to. Charming, as long as this game goes on, but I can't leave him be if he goes too far.

08_03 [Marina Inoue] I'm Inoue Marina, who plays Hikaru. Hi! Hikaru looks like a very normal high school girl, but is she really? Right. I guess she's a very odd presence in SMT 4's world, which raises a lot of mysteries around her, but definitely play the game, discover it for yourself, and you'll be like, 'Oh, so that's how it is!' Please have fun playing SMT 4! Thank you!

The COOL☆ Way to Push a Button

Buttons may seem like they’re at a disadvantage with the advent of touch panels, but we still have many opportunities to push them.

These moves will turn your everyday button-pushing into COOL button-pushing.

Move 3: The Point

Set your hand at the edge of your shoulder. Put your fingers in the pointing position.

Using your elbow as a fulcrum, stick your hand forward without breaking the position of your fingers. Lean your upper body forward a bit.

You can also do it with the opposite hand, with many variations depending on which direction you’re pointing.

Or do it from the side. There are as many ways to point as there are people.

Tayama/Ōtsuka Hochū/Forbidden Anonymous Report

A Rock-Solid Image Even Before Recording

Unanimous Agreement

Tayama’s role of the ‘lovable enemy’ is a difficult one to pull off. But it was surprisingly easy to decide who we wanted to play him. Basically everyone agreed.

I actually wrote Tayama’s lines with Ōtsuka Hochū firmly in mind even before we decided on him.

I even listened to his acting in other works he’d been in while I was writing. So, ironically, I actually couldn’t believe it when I heard he was officially selected for the role.

He’s played many memorable villains, like the pilot of a Mobile Suit equipped with a weapon called the “Sea Snake”*, and the final boss of the second movie in a series about drunken martial arts.**

[TN: *Yazan Gable from Zeta Gundam, who pilots the Mobile Suit Hambrabi.

**John, an enforcer for the British consul in Drunken Master II. (Of course, just the dubbing, he's not the actual actor.)]

To be honest, I was a little nervous about actually meeting him.

A Gentle Aura

He had a very gentle aura about him when he arrived at the studio.

I could feel my tension melt away in front of him, like a detoxifying lotion.

Lovable Villain

Thanks to his acting, Tayama became even more persuasive than we thought. His voice has the power to make even Tayama’s inhuman methods seem reasonable.

Tayama is more than simply “the tyrant who rules Tokyo”, and Otsuka was able to bring out that appeal even more.

Sharing Drinks

I asked for a photo after recording. Taking Tayama’s character into account, we tried doing a photo of us ‘exchanging sake cups’.

But I was overwhelmed by his presence, and got nervous again. Maybe the senior Samurai in Roppongi ended up that way for the same reason.

I felt like I’d touched the aura of somebody really amazing.

AUDIO FILES

09_01 [Tayama] If I went around looking like a bum, my men would lose their ambition. This way, even with Tokyo in the state it is, you know you can dress sharp and drink your fill of good booze twice a week. I know if everyone in Tokyo heard this they'd really chew me out, but it's a lot to put up with on my end too. I'm really more of a 'wolf down some egg on rice wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants' kinda guy.

09_02 [Hochu Otsuka] Hello, I'm Otsuka Hochu, who plays Tayama. He's one of them yakuzas, but I played him with the image of a slick, smart guy-- a guy who keeps some sharp fangs hidden, who glimpses people's weaknesses-- in mind. A sharp guy who used that rottenness and dirtiness unique to adults to crawl from society's dregs to the peak. He might be a character who grown up players can find surprisingly sympathetic. I know he's a scary middle aged dude, but why don't you join him and think about the future of SMT 4's Tokyo?

9_03 [Tayama] 'Scuse me? You're telling me you can't meet the Reds quota? I've said it a million times, if it looks bad, you gotta report to me with a contingency plan. You know, kidnap some poor sap from the underground, turn yourself into Reds material, that kinda thing. Now I'm not saying you have to just go off and do that. But when you make a report, I better hear you say "We won't be able to meet the quota! In the worst case scenario I will gladly become the Reds myself!", capiche?

The Black Samurai and Gabby/Tanaka Atsuko/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Devilish Female Characters

There’s an expression, “devilish”*, that’s sometimes used to describe a woman. *[TN: The word used, Mashō, literally means ‘devilish’, with the specific connotation of an alluring sexiness.]

During this recording, I found myself in the direct presence of that devilishness. If there were an app that could evaluate devilishness, how many points would she get?

Devilish Beings Taking Human Forms

The Black Samurai and Gabby, who Atsuko Tanaka plays, are unique characters. They appear to be human on the outside, but there’s an inhuman quality we want to emphasize in every one of their lines.

We wouldn’t be able to do this without her skill and devilish appeal.

A Soft Demeanor

I got a very mellow impression from her.

Before recording, I was encouraged by how she said “Just let me know if you have any requests”.

A Gentle Aura

During recording, her demeanor was so cool and dignified that it’d be easy to fall in love with her even if she was a man.

If someone like the crossdressing beauty in V◯rbara* really existed, they would probably be a lot like her.

*[TN: Oscar from Rose of Versailles. You should know this.]

You can feel this devilish allure from both characters. It’s no wonder the people of the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado were led astray by the Black Samurai.

Innumerable Kinds of Devilishness Within Her

We got a promotional autograph from her after recording was finished.

She was very gentle-mannered, in stark contrast to the dignified aura she had during recording. I felt that there were innumerable different kinds of devilishness within her (in a good way).

It makes you wonder if the devilishness you can feel in these characters is something that comes from Tanaka herself.

AUDIO FILES

10_01 [Gabby] Hm? You'd like to share breakfast with me? It would be an honor. I was thinking I'd like to talk with you if I had the chance. You must have all manner of things to think about in the course of your duties each day. I can be your listener if it isn't any trouble. Why don't we share our time as fellow members of God's chosen?

10_02 [Yuriko] It doesn't give me too much grief when I actually wear it, but shame on humans for making this Demonica thing. Oh, you over there, if you've got the time, could you help me take this off? It gets so tight around the chest. Why don't I add it to your quests? Oh, I know you'll accept. Hehehe.

10_03 [Gabriel] Shene Duque is the land of beginning, where your ancestors who once spurned His works alit on the earth anew. Thus from this land shall the new Millennium be built… With you, who have hearkened to the voice of the angel who speaketh His word.

10_04 [Atsuko Tanaka] I'm Tanaka Atsuko. I played two female characters, Gabby and Yuriko, in SMT 4. Their personalities and alignment are polar opposites, so I played them while digging deep into my own lawful and chaotic sides. Maybe this game will create an opportunity for all the players to confront their own selves. Is your alignment Law? Chaos? Or…?

[Editor note: Tanaka Atsuko sadly passed away in August of 2024. She also voiced Lilith in SMTV:Vengeance]

Hope/Nakai Kazuya/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Sympathizing with the Grief of Middle Management

I also found myself in a central position where I was put in charge of and had to give directions to the staff who drew up the in-story events.

Which is to say, I’m a middle manager pushed down by the higher-ups and pressured by the people under me. It’s a tough place to be.

This is a game where the player becomes the “protagonist character” and fights demons. But when I take my own circumstances into account, I can’t seem to take my eyes off what Hope is doing.

Is this the Studio or my House?

It may be because he provides the narration for various morning infotainment programs, but even though this was our first time meeting, I was already used to his voice.

Listening to him as he did the promotional autograph, for a moment, I thought I was in my own living room watching TV.

Truly the Ideal Boss

In the course of the story, the protagonist leaves the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado and has to perform new duties in Tokyo.

The story itself doesn’t go into details, but while the protagonist is gone, Hope makes strenuous efforts to defend the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado.

He has the great pride of devoting himself to behind-the-scenes work so his subordinates can fulfill a great task.

Thanks to Nakai, Hope’s “Ideal Boss” concept was made into a reality.

The Road to Being the Ideal Boss is Long

By the time recording ended and we saw him off, it was already past 9:00. Even then, the story event staff was probably hard at work back at the office.

I was planning on going straight home from the studio, but now I thought I’d drop by the office and give them some snacks…… Unfortunately, the next day’s recording was scheduled early, so I had to go home after all.

If Hope was real, I’d definitely want him to give me some training too.

AUDIO FILES

11_01 [Hope] You. Good timing. I want you to sit down a minute and listen to me talk about the old times. I left a woman in my hometown. A slight one, with a bit of a curl in her hair. My beloved. Haven't been able to send her so much as a letter since the day I became a Samurai. No, here I am throwing the ring I was supposed to give her into Naraku every year for the Prentices' training. Being blessed with outstanding men can be a trouble in its own right.

11_02 [Kazuya Nakai] I'm Nakai Kazuya, I played Hope. He's a rather unlucky adult character who's revered by his peers for his ability, but isn't valued by society at large because his inability to bend his convictions makes him a bit pigheaded and awkward. He shows a brusque, taciturn, and strict side, but on the inside he's quietly full of passion and concern for his subordinates. I played him with the image of the ideal commander everyone has in their heads. He doesn't get very much screentime, but he has a lot of flavor as a character, so please go meet him in SMT 4.

11_03 [Hope] Listen here, you. I can't say I find it very admirable that you're spending your off day mewed up in the barracks. Come, if leisure is too much for you to handle, I'll give you some training. Take off your coat and come to the Aquila Statue Plaza.

The COOL☆ Way to Pick Out a DVD

DVD stores are a treasure trove of knowledge and wisdom. You don’t want to take your eyes from the shelves for a moment, lest you miss out on an unexpected meeting with a masterpiece.

Here are some moves that will help you out at such times.

Move 4: The Crab

Stand by with your toes turned inward. Keeping your knees turned inward is also a good idea.

Open your legs, shifting your weight to the heel of the foot pointed in the direction you want to go, and to the toes of the opposite foot.

When you lift your foot it’ll look like this. As you move, keep alternating your weight between the heels and toes of your left and right feet.

Shift your weight again and return to the first position. Repeat, moving sideways. You’ll never miss that actress’ new movie now.

Hugo/Tadano Yōhei/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Not Just “Another Hired Gun”* *[TN: Tadano Yohei’s name, 多田野曜平, is a homonym for ただの傭兵, ‘just another mercenary’.]

Hugo’s voice actor, Tadano Yōhei, was a pretty unique individual. As soon as we met, I was hit with a preemptive strike: he introduced himself as “tada no yōhei”, just another hired gun.

I could tell he wasn’t “just another” guy at all.

Eyes on my Head

We explained Hugo’s concept to him before recording.

During my explanation, even as he listened to me, I noticed that his gaze drifted to the top of my head multiple times.

Adding More Lines

When it was decided he’d play Hugo, the development staff felt a sense of regret. You see, Hugo didn’t have nearly enough scenes. We wouldn’t be able to fully convey the appeal of a Hugo played by Tadano.

Despite the difficulty of making large-scale revisions given our schedule, we increased the number of events Hugo appeared in, and drew up some new quests focused on him.

Among the staff, Hugo has a solid position in the popularity rankings, even moreso than the female characters, who are all pretty high up there. This is also thanks to his voice.

Trembling from the Seriousness

This next photo shows him acting out another character related to Hugo, just before you enter into battle with him. *[TN: Most likely King Ahazuya Mikado-- He's played with a lower-pitched voice, but its tone and quality makes me fairly certain it's Tadano]

He gave a serious performance, as far from Hugo as you could imagine. I trembled at that quiet air of intimidation that lulls whoever listens to it into despair.

A Friendly Chat After Recording

After recording, he told me he had a request. I readily consented, saying I’d do whatever I could.

He’d had his eye on something since before recording started. If this’ll make him happy, it’s no problem for me.

I attained a heartfelt understanding of how a certain anpan-headed hero feels.* *[TN: Anpanman. You really should know this.]

AUDIO FILES

12_01 [Hugo] In truth, we of the Monastery have been conducting excavations of Naraku ever since King Aquila founded the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado 1500 years ago. Yet every one of those daft Samurai speaks of our many accomplishments in Naraku as if they were their own deeds! No one would have even conceived of forming the Samurai if not for us!

12_02 [Hugo] In this kingdom, the fruits that come of researching Tokyo net you more praise than doing battle with demons all day. Thus I left the Samurai and joined the Monastery, even as my brethren-in-arms all scorned me as a coward. Now I'm the Abbot, and even the Samurai must act as I will it! And yet I feel a hollowness sometimes. I've lived my life prey to the whims of my own avarice; I've never learned what it is that I truly must do. I envy, yet resent my Commander-- I mean, Hope, for how he lives with such unwavering conviction. [TN: Hugo calls Hope 'Hope-kun', implying that he sees him as a subordinate, or at least tries to act like it. idk how to carry over the nuance?]

12_03 [Hugo] It seems in Tokyo there was once a dish called sweet-and-sour pork. I'm told the meat was fried together with vegetables and even fruit, and mixed with a sweet, mildly sour sauce. Isn't fruit supposed to be eaten as dessert? And what's meant by "sweet and mildly sour"? Does the sweetness win out in the end, or is the flavor more acidic? It's all very bizarre. I can't say it doesn't fascinate me, this pork.

Fujiwara/Morita Junpei/Forbidden Anonymous Report

From the Ward Junior High to the Coffee Shop

This installment’s voice actor is active in many other areas besides games. He really does have a wide range, from anime to dubbing to theater.

Morita Junpei, who plays Fujiwara, also played “Kan-Kan from math class” in a nationally famous school drama. *[TN: Morita played Inui-Sensei, nicknamed "Kan-Kan from math class" in the long-running Kinpachi-Sensei series. His nickname comes from an alternate reading of his name, and his short-tempered (kan-kan) personality.]

A Very Well-Suited Role

All of the voice actors are people I’m meeting for the very first time at the recording studio.

It’s natural that when they get cast, I’m not going to know what kind of people they are.

But even though he looks different, Morita felt just like Fujiwara himself.

He’s a mature fellow with an intellectual and gentle demeanor, but the discretion to not make a big show of it.

It Feels Just Like a Cafe

Morita loves conversation very much. During the pre-recording briefing, he told me about the frontman of a well-known guitar rock band some of you may know as “Shikerona”.* *[TN: This was a misspelling, probably deliberate, but it's supposed to be "Shinaroke"-- Sheena and the Rokkets. Fujiwara was based on frontman Makoto Ayukawa, who sadly passed away in 2023.]

It seems like he’s very good friends with him. Coincidentally, Fujiwara was based on that musician.

Our conversation grew even more enlivened. The briefing’s mood was supremely relaxed, just like Cafe Florida. I found myself unconsciously reaching for imaginary snacks in front of me.

An Artisan’s Technique

What struck me was his magnificent way of utilizing pauses.

Fujiwara is meant to search out and get a feel for whoever he’s talking with without saying much himself. Morita conveyed this through exquisitely timed pauses.

His technique as an artisan shined even within his relaxed manner.

Making Balanced Decisions

Fujiwara doesn’t have very much screentime at all. This means you could easily reach the ending without even touching on Fujiwara’s real motives.

You should definitely try to make balanced decisions and conquer your feelings of despair. Then Fujiwara just might open his heart to you, using the power of Morita’s voice.

AUDIO FILES

13_01 [Fujiwara] Hey, Skins. You're looking a little long in the tooth lately! The corners of your eyes are all droopy now, like in one of those idol groups from this one country back in the day. Maybe time to think about a facelift? I can give you one if you're jealous. Aw, what's with the face? Bet it's 'cause you don't know where they messed up with it!

13_02 [Fujiwara] I've lost all my appetite with age. A drink, a cig, piece of a biscuit, and brother, I've got myself a dinner. But back when I was a company man, I duped my coworker Kelly so I could eat at this yakiniku joint in Roppongi three times a week at my employer's expense.

13_03 [Junpei Morita] Morita Junpei here. I play a character called Fujiwara. He's the man with the cigarette and coffee cup who's always at the cafe. He used to be a newspaper reporter and he went through a whole lot in the past, but I tried to play him as sort of detached and easygoing, without letting that show on the surface too much. Also, his friendliness and that kind of thing. Depending on how you progress through the game, there's a route where you get to find out about the hopes and sorrows he's had since he was younger, so if you haven't seen it yet, please try and adventure through every nook and cranny of SMT 4's world.

Skins/Yamaji Kazuhiro/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Dandy Comes to Town

When I was a teenager, I had a sense, albeit vague, of wanting to become a “cool adult”. But even as I near my 40s, I still don’t know what you need to be “cool”.

But when I met Yamaji Kazuhiro, who plays Skins, I think I began to understand a little.

Exuding Presence

Skins was written as taciturn to begin with, but he doesn’t have much screentime either.

I tried to give each and every one of his lines a lot of weight so that he would make a bigger impression. Adding Yamaji’s performance into the mix, Skins stands out far more than we initially planned.

He Can Play Around, Too

Yamaji doesn’t operate on presence alone.

When Skins asks the protagonist the name of a certain character, you’ll get to see a unique reaction from him if you enter a certain string of letters.

On his recommendation, the content of his lines in that scene became more comical than we initially planned. I take my hat off to his playful spirit.

Definitely enter “Masa****” when you get the chance.

How to be a Cool Adult

He joined us for a post-recording photoshoot. He proposed that we both make “cool faces”.

Being photographed with him, I felt like I got closer to being a “cool adult”. I think I still have a ways to go before I can really become one.

I want to think that I got a little bit closer from realizing that.

AUDIO FILES

14_01 [Skins] When I see you I think of this one kid I worked with in my old unit. Had these two friends he was always with, just like you with Jonathan and Walter. What were their names again… Oh, right. One guy was a little too much of a people-pleaser. Had some real backbone though. He was Kiyoharu. The other was a rough, wild type, but real compassionate when he wanted to be. That was Kenji.

14_02 [Skins] The guy who first proposed building the Yamato Perpetual Reactor was the Minister of Defense. Said Japan was weak, didn't have enough stamina, and if we wanted to catch up we'd need a perpetual-motion plasma reactor. He drew up the perfect plan to make this Yamato Reactor a reality. But it was actually a means of staging a coup d'etat, to purge the incompetent politicians resigned to selling our country out to the ones who financially dominated us. He was a brave but pitiful man who got swallowed up by the lust called patriotism. His dying screams as he fell to the demons still ring in my ears.

14_03 [Skins] I remember these rumors that started going around way back when the Counter-Demon Force was first established, about the source of the Demon-Summoning Program. Thought we'd summon some demons with it and put 'em to use as weapons anyway. I mean look, this thing, if you got the most bleeding-edge tech in the world back then, you still couldn't even come close to developing it. And that means you've got everyone talking about some broad out there providing our country with supertechnology.

Stephen (or rather... Steven) /Chō/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Father of the Demon Summoning Program

When I had to stay home sick early in elementary school, I saw a young man on the TV, who moved to Nagano Prefecture to pursue his dream of running a store.

I can still clearly remember how he worked hard at his delivery job with his beloved bicycle, and how between deliveries, he would make maps of his routes and introduce the places on them.* *[TN: Cho played the main character in the television series Tanken! Boku no Machi.]

To think I’d be able to meet him in a situation like this.

So Many Mysteries

Some of you may know this, but for a little while there was a rumor that Chō was dead.

Steven, who developed and spread the Demon Summoning Program for the sake of humanity’s potential while losing his own physical form, is one of the most unusual characters in the game.

Chō and Steven are both shrouded in mystery.

How he was chosen to play Steven is a mystery in its own right.

The Father of Steven

Even though Steven has appeared many times in the series so far, the truth of his character remains unknown.

So even the development team struggled to work out Steven’s nuances. This is why we decided to leave it to Chō to depict Steven’s image.

His performance was gentle, but with a sense of overwhelming scale, as if he had descended from on high.

Chō is the father of Steven, so to speak.

His Smile Hadn’t Changed a Bit

After recording, he joined us for a photoshoot.

He gave us an innocent smile, just like the one I remember from elementary school.

AUDIO FILES

15_01 [Steven] I remember a movie about a group of astronauts killed by an artificial intelligence they themselves developed. That's humanity for you; they'll sacrifice everything for demons and gods they birthed from their own imaginations, and lose themselves completely in the process. But that purity is humanity's greatest strength and its greatest weakness; it's exactly what makes humans human. [TN: obviously, he is talking about 2001: A Space Odyssey]

15_02 [Steven] With you it was Naraku, and I think with the other you it was the Harajuku police station. The first time we met I believe it was, "Will you find a ray of hope in a place the sun doesn't reach?". Now that fits the description of a certain somebody who hacked the Ministry of Defense's PCs to distribute the Demon Summoning Program, heh heh heh heh.

15_03 [Steven] Technically speaking, I used to be STEVEN, but you can still call me that, I won't mind. But let me just say that it's SteVEN; not PHEN, VEN. Say it with your teeth on your lower lip; I'd appreciate it. Up to you, though. [Editor note: The fictional SMT character was known as STEVEN in Japanese (and changed to the written form of スティーブン in SMT4/A albeit still officially romanized as STEVEN). However, the English localization spelled his name as "Stephen" because well, Stephen Hawking. Whether this distinction was intentional from the start from the Japanese side or this was a reversal Herlock Sholmes situation, who knows. Either way, his name is pronounced the same in both languages]

Mido/Chafūrin/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Human or Demon?

At first Mido didn’t even have a portrait, and wasn’t counted among the characters with unique voice actors.

But the demon fusion system is the jewel of this entry, and the staff in charge of system development wanted to make it stand out.

Taking their wishes into consideration, we decided to have Chafūrin play Mido.

Refined Uniqueness

To say nothing of his voice, Chafūrin’s hair and clothes are very refined, and he has an exceedingly stylish sense of presence.

In spite of myself, I couldn’t help but have big expectations for Mido’s recording.

Stylish and Crazy

Mido is already a character who would willingly give up his own humanity, so he isn’t exactly in his right mind.

The Mido Chafūrin played during the test recording had a much more stylish image than we thought he would.

We gave him a rundown of the image we had in mind and had him do another performance.

After comparing the two, we decided to proceed with the “stylish and crazy” Mido Chafūrin played.

The Recording was a Battle with My Ab Muscles

Those who know him may understand this already, but Chafūrin’s voice has a strange charm that slowly grows on you.

He has a tendency to boldly exaggerate every bit of Mido’s lines, and you might find yourself about to burst out laughing.

I had to put up with the desperate urge to laugh in the middle of a serious recording, and if it had gone on just a half hour or so longer, my abs might have collapsed.

Just Like Going on a Bar Journey

The recording ended without incident.

We’d gotten to the time of evening where the bars are about to open, so we naturally began talking about alcohol. Like, whether rice or noodles are better for a last meal of the night after a bar crawl.

We began getting deep into topics like whether you should cut shochu with dark or light low-alcohol beer, like in a certain travel program about touring different bars.* *[TN: Yoshida Rui no Sakaba Horoki (Yoshida Rui's Bar Journeys). The Japanese header namedrops it, referring to "Sakaba no Horoki".]

When I remember that conversation, I start wanting to eat vinegared mackerel.

AUDIO FILES

16_01 [Mido] Welcome to the Cathedral of Shadows, where demons gather! And congratulations! From this moment on, you'll live within the Extraordinary that lurks in the shadows of the Ordinary! That's right, by activating this app, you've stepped into a zone far beyond the human world!

16_02 [Mido] What do I look like to you? I bet I look like a weird digital geezer. But this form is proof that I successfully grasped the reality of the human mind and transferred my own soul to the Expanse. I'm a superior species of geezer, so to speak. And not only that, I've successfully fused myself with a demon native to the Expanse. Right now you can only see me as an old guy due to issues of data capacity, but if you saw my true form… You'd be too scared to open the app.

16_03 [Mido] When I was young I spent all my time with that Steven, immersed in researching how to convert emotions to digital information. Steven was the one who proposed the theory, but I, Meade Waugh, used my own body to put it into practice and become a cybernetic trailblazer! Goodness gracious, this body is fantastic! Without any pesky human relationships, I never need to worry about getting my suit dry-cleaned! I only regret that I can no longer savor those blissful times when I stuffed my face with vinegared mackerel and washed it down with some dark beer. It still weighs on my mind. [note: his old name seems to be ミード・ウォー? pronounced 'meed woe']

Masakado/Nakata Jōji/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Majesty of Tokyo’s Guardian Deity

Many readers are probably familiar with Nakata Jōji as the voice of Q, the shopkeeper who sells weapons and armor in the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado.

But Q isn’t the only representative character he plays.

Some of you may recognize him as the character responsible for the game taking place in two settings, the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado and Tokyo.

Nakata plays none other than him: Masakado.

Switching Modes Before Recording

In contrast with the humble Q, Masakado is a majestic, imposing character.

Nakata was supposed to do his promotional autograph after all the day’s recording was over, but he asked to do it right after recording Q. He wanted to cut Q’s energy off before going into Masakado’s recording.

I saw his spirit as an actor in this request. I thought an aura of quiet and solemn majesty began to grow from him the more he moved his pen.

Masakado is rooted firmly within him.

A True Guardian Deity

His Masakado was a guardian deity for sure.

Just listening to him, the courage to take on God’s Chariot or the demonic Tyrant wells up within you.

Definitely keep a slot in your stock open when you head for Ginza to bear Tokyo’s hopes on your shoulders.

The Stage for the Battle is Set

This has already been published on paper, but Masakado also has a design from the neck down. If you want to see it……

If you don’t know what we’re talking about, give the information we’ve released up until now another good once-over.

Nakata’s majestic voice just might bear down on the protagonist in hostility this time.

AUDIO FILES

17_01 [Masakado] Behold my form. I am Masakado, guardian of Tokyo and great spirit of earth. The boy entrusted with destiny, the boy who found himself in the Colosseum, the boy who became a demon, or the boy who was once in the Counter-Demon Force… It matters not who you are. If you have become the hopes of the people, I shall follow you.

17_02 [Weapon Shop Guy] You wouldn't think it, but when I was little I too wanted to be a Samurai and fight for the sake of my kingdom. But selling weapons and armor to the blessed Samurai, I have many opportunities to listen to them, and they seem to be having an awful time of it. They worry for their superiors, they worry for those at the Monastery, and of course they worry for their compatriots. I now consider it a blessing I was never chosen by the Gauntlet.

17_03 [Joji Nakata] Hello, I'm Nakata Joji. I think some of you may know this, but I played a cat named Gouto in Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzunoha. If you know, you know. He was the cute black cat. Anyway, this time, I played a number of roles in SMT 4, some of which were pretty important! In the game I turn up in many different positions- standing in the players' way in battles, selling weapons and armor, and handing over very important items, so look forward to it. Please fully immerse yourself in the world of SMT 4.

The COOL☆ Way to Jump Over Obstacles

Stepping over the threshold, you find seven enemies.*

*[TN: Reference to a proverb, 男は敷居を跨げば七人の敵あり( “Stepping over the threshold, a man finds seven enemies���). It basically means, keep your wits about you when you grow up and step out of your house and into the world, because you never know who might be out to cause you harm. The “seven” is just a symbolic number standing in for “many”.]

Here are some moves that will allow you to clear any obstacle in the level known as the World.

Move 5: The Shuffle

Obstacle spotted by the wayside. This time we will represent it as a tissue box. Set your direction, and using the foot opposite to this direction to launch yourself…

Jump over the obstacle. The key is to do it without exerting yourself.

And land. At this point, if you’ve already done the steps to make the jump, your landing will be COOL too.

Cross the foot opposite to the one you landed on and strike a pose. You haven’t just jumped over an obstacle now. You’ve jumped over your own limits.

Burroughs/Kaida Yūko/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Fairy in the Gauntlet

As soon as you think you can do a surprising amount of things in the world by yourself, you realize that all those things are a pain in the butt.

Even when you eat alone, if you don’t talk with the other people in the store, you’ll have to pick out all the ingredients and seasonings by yourself.

The protagonist of this game must have also had a hard time fulfilling his duty alone.

A Fairy for Real

Burroughs is played by Kaida Yūko.

When she appeared at the recording, she was gorgeous, just like the “fairy” in the Gauntlet.

Burroughs doesn’t just appear in events, she gives you support with the game’s system and the tutorial, and has lines for just about every scene.

We of the development team want the players to have a comfortable experience, and we think that’s best communicated to everyone with a lovely female voice, rather than the deep voice of a middle-aged man.

A Fairy Again

Actually, Kaida did another recording after finishing her work for the game itself. She also did the narration for the promotional videos.

Not just the development team, but the person in charge of promotion took note of her voice’s power of persuasion and Burroughs’ appeal.

Some readers may know this already. The narration for the fourth trailer currently viewable on the website and the title call in the TV commercial is Kaida’s voice.

A Fairy Three Times

She put in a particular amount of effort for the TV commercials.

When the development team got the pilot version, we ended up deciding that we wanted her voice to give it a more mature finish.

She cooperated with us in the midst of her very busy schedule and did a third recording session.

“Shin Megami Tensei IV”. Just to give us that one line.

Until I can be called “Master”

On the left you can see us after recording. We requested a smile for the photoshoot.

In contrast to her unreserved gaze towards the camera for the sake of this request, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t even manage a half smile.

I wonder if I’ll be someone worthy of being called “Master” when the next series title is announced.

AUDIO FILES

18_01 [Burroughs] Lovely weather we're having, Master. On days like these, don't you humans just want to forget about your duties and laze around all day? All right, I'll give you an extra day off. And I'll go tell the Monastery to keep an eye out for a flagrantly falsified report.

18_02 [Yuko Kaida] Hello, I'm Kaida Yuko. I played Burroughs. Will my voice reach Masters all over the country? Burroughs is the character who spends the most time with all the players, so I strived to do a performance that sounded pleasant without too many mannerisms that stood out. A little like a reliable older sister. I'm here to support your comfortable gaming life. Journey onto the stage of SMT 4 with me.

18_03 [Burroughs] This was long before you were born, but the people of Tokyo once used communication equipment similar to Gauntlets in their daily lives. I think they were called smartphones and feature phones?

We’re at That Point, so Let Me Say it/Almost Time to Move On/Forbidden Anonymous Report

I Know it’s Sudden…

This morning, I got a notice from the higher-ups to complete this blog. Should I take this as a “step up”, or as a “fall back to the center”? This is the story of my own choices.

I know this is sudden, but I’d be happy if you read this report as an editorial postscript.

Take care not to get possessed until the day we meet again.

A Definite Response in the Feedback

This is only within the scope of what I myself have been able to check, so I apologize, but I can definitely feel a surprising response in the support I’ve seen for Isabeau.

Isabeau doesn’t get the indulgent treatment common with female characters in other works. We made sure to always center her character around the themes of the story, and use her concept to discuss those themes.

I’m encouraged by the fact that even though nowadays works are full of female characters who seem to embody male fantasies, with predictable “character types” and excessive attention drawn to their body lines, there are still plenty of users in the market who “get it”.

A Definite Response

Even now, when I look back on the horrors of getting the script done before the deadline, I’m as moved as Hideki* was every time I hear the voices in this work. *[TN: Reference to a commercial for Vermont Curry where singer Hideki Saijo says "Hideki, kangeki!" (Hideki's moved!)]

The staff in charge of game events who skipped their days off to edit the script, the administrative staff who helped send the script out, and the promotional staff who helped out so much preparing the voice material for this blog.

Then, the coordinator, who worked everything out even with the frequent script delays and made these recordings possible. And of course, the voice actors who breathed life into these characters.

To everyone who worked on these recordings……

Thank you!

AUDIO FILES

19_01 [Raphael] I am Raphael. God's solace resounds through my name. I hear that a popular song in your world sings of children of men as flowers, all special in their own way. Indeed, such is the Lord's teaching. All children of men are children of our Lord, equal in His eyes. Thus every one of you is special. [TN: idk which song he's talking about..]

19_02 [Michael] I am Michael. God has no equal; this resounds through my name. If you children of men repeat not the mistakes of your foolish forefathers, if you exalt our Lord Almighty, if you eat not the Forbidden Fruit, no wickedness shall take root within your hearts. O wise ones who hearken to this voice! Will your future hold such glory as befits our apostles in the new Millennium? Or will you suffer God's wrath, laid low at Armageddon and cast out with the Snake?

19_03 [Uriel] I am Uriel. God's fire resounds through my name. If you have heard this voice, you pass muster as a warrior of light on a par with us four Archangels. Do not betray our Lord's expectations. I have wrestled with you children of men and I have delivered you prophecies, but if I find you to be unclean, I will not hesitate to burn your face to ash that I may never see it again.

19_04 [K] Let me recount the legend of a hero passed down in the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado-- not one so great as Aquila, mind, but a hero nonetheless. This isn't public knowledge on account of the Monastery's controls, but some decades ago a demon erected a Domain in Naraku. Many Samurai fell prey to this demon. Now the Commander at the time couldn't just leave this matter be, so he let the demon plunge its teeth into his own arm, then took his chance and skewered it, arm and all. The Commander could fight no longer, so he became a tavernkeeper. They say he's there to this day, watching over the young Samurais' progress with his one good eye.

19_05 [Charon] The souls of those who took their own lives wash up here on occasion. And when they get a look at this riverside, it's always the same: "Oh, it wasn't supposed to be this way!" These misguided nuisances choose death on a moment's impulse or out of plain naivete, and all it does is give me more work. You had better believe I charge them a massive return fee. The market price is three times the usual, as compensation for inconvenience.

19_06 [Chiwa Saito] Hee-hello, everybody! I'm Saito Chiwa. I've been here since Soul Hackers. In SMT, I started with the Hee-Ho demons, and I've actually played about five more people-type characters… People-type, that sounds really weird… So I thought it'd be fun if I could do it being conscious of, where am I now?, and all that… Anyway, I did the Hee-hos, and before I started I thought I'd give the voices recorded in Soul Hackers another listen, and thinking I really had to do that myself, it really calmed me down! The game itself is very much for die-hards, but that 'ho! ho!' tic, it's relaxing! I try to really relax and get comfortable, but actually I have to convey that dangerous and precarious quality, and I have to keep that balancing act all by myself, and that's the hardest part. Right. I managed to put things pretty well while hee hee ho ho'ing. Or, well, I'm not right now, but, well, I did it. And in this game, I did what I could, and hee-hos will gladly be your demons, so if everyone can relax and be fends-- I fumbled my words, friends with them, I'd be really happy. This has been Saito Chiwa, nice to meet you all, ho!

Download link (includes raw data with the audio clips, original text and translation)

[saintsenara]

waitt i need to know why you hc ludo bagman as a genuine death eater sympathiser omg. that sounds fascinating

thank you very much for the ask, pal!

that bagman was really a death eater sympathiser is something i've been committed to believing since i first read goblet of fire, but it's something i've been pondering particularly recently as part of writing subluxation, which is a big look at the set-up and function of the wizarding state during voldemort's takeover in 1997-1998 from the perspective of percy weasley.

which means - of course - that it requires a bit of grappling with percy's main man - and bagman's frenemy - barty crouch sr.

the way the canon narrative - not only harry's perspective but also characters harry implicitly trusts, like sirius and dumbledore - wants us to react to crouch sr. is something that really interests me. because i think it's reasonable to say that - while the series doesn't regard him as a villain villain, per se [as it does for characters such as umbridge] - it doesn't see him as someone we are supposed to regard in a particularly positive light either, even after the reveal that barty crouch jr. was a death eater and his father was justified in sending him to azkaban [even if he didn't keep him there...]

crouch - like cornelius fudge, rufus scrimgeour, and percy himself - is a victim of the narrative's general consensus that ministry workers who are not under the impression that the ministry cannot function admirably or efficiently without input from dumbledore are people we should have no real respect for. he is shown, in his canon appearances, to be something of a jobsworth - officious and dull and uncreative in his thinking, which serves both as a personification of what the series thinks about the civil service and as a narrative device to make the reveal that he broke his son out of prison and kept him, essentially, drugged at home all the more shocking.

but crouch is also interesting in another sense - in that he is not a villain, but that he does not fit into the way the series categorises the behaviour of its heroes surrounding mercy.

we are told in goblet of fire that crouch - as head of the department of magical law enforcement in the 1970s - was responsible for the escalating harshness of the government's response to voldemort. policies such as the instructions for aurors to shoot to kill if they encountered suspected death eaters and the use of internment without trial of those accused of collusion with voldemort [both of which, as i am always banging on about, are references to the actual behaviour of the british state in northern ireland during the same time period] emanate directly from him.

and this ties into a theme which is prominent in the run of books between prisoner of azkaban and half-blood prince: that the world is not split into good people and death eaters. the purpose of these central books in the series is to show that - once harry's worldview widens from the hogwarts-exclusive focus it has in the first two, more childlike, books - the rot in the wizarding world goes far beyond voldemort. the wizarding state is shown - time and time again - to be cruel, corrupt, prejudiced, and stagnant, and the ministry's most loyal bureaucrats and their unwillingness towards mercy are largely blamed for this situation.

because of course - as i have complained about before - the morality of the harry potter series is individualist. good and evil are located by the text within the individual, which means that states and their institutions are automatically less interesting to it than singular heroes and villains in an epic baddies-versus-goodies showdown.

but it's also true that - as a protagonist - harry's morality is extremely self-serving. by which i mean that he has a tendency to reach black-and-white judgements on people he encounters - they're good if they're nice to him, they're bad if they're cruel to him - and to never deviate from them.

and - indeed - to never have to deviate from them. it's worth saying that harry's conversion rate on being right about people is really high - his immediate dislike of characters such as draco malfoy, lockhart, and umbridge is entirely justified; his immediate trust of characters such as sirius is the same. his only misjudgments relate to characters who are crucial to the narrative outside of harry's feelings towards them - he's wrong to trust the teenage tom riddle in chamber of secrets, he's wrong to trust the fake "moody" in goblet of fire, he's wrong to trust "bathilda bagshot" in deathly hallows, and he is, of course, wrong about both snape and dumbledore.

but - outside of this - his judgements are usually proven to be right [and, indeed, his good instincts are lampshaded by the narrative in deathly hallows, when lupin literally says this]. and so we are supposed to assume, i think, that character judgements he makes which we see no broader resolution to are correct.

for example - harry's conviction that stan shunpike is under the imperius curse is never taken by the text as anything other than true. there is no suggestion whatsoever that harry is wrong and that stan - a young, working-class man with delusions of grandeur, who would presumably be reasonably easy to radicalise - might be a genuine supporter of voldemort, and harry's complete certainty that stan is falsely imprisoned [with the callbacks this gives to his feelings about sirius' treatment] isn't used by the narrative as an example of him being naive and self-righteous, but as an example of the fundamental goodness, sensibleness and mercifulness of his character which justifies his ascent to an allegory for christ in the latter stages of deathly hallows.

and the same applies to ludo bagman. when harry witnesses his trial, he finds the suggestion that he might have been a death eater absurd, clearly finds the jury's immediate dismissal of it amusing, and is unsympathetic to crouch when he is infuriated by bagman's acquittal. he takes dumbledore's assurance that bagman has never been accused of any nefarious activity since without question [something he does not do for snape] and his view throughout goblet of fire - much as it is for stan - is that bagman is seedy and not particularly clever, but that he is also such a transparently ridiculous person that to suspect him of being someone voldemort would care about is idiotic, and that crouch's inability to bang him up in azkaban on spurious charges can only - given what happened to sirius - be a good thing.

but the issue is that - notwithstanding his commitment to extrajudicial punishment - barty crouch sr. is... clearly right to investigate bagman thoroughly.

we are told in order of the phoenix that voldemort's power depends on a vast network of ministry informants. we are shown in deathly hallows that his coup is only successful because almost the entirety of the civil service remains in post. we are shown time and time again throughout canon that voldemort's views - on blood-supremacy and magic-supremacy, on the supposed value of maintaining the class system - are incredibly mainstream political opinions, and we can infer from this that a majority of the population of wizarding britain have the view sirius tells us his parents did: that, while they're uneasy with voldemort's violence and while they're certainly not paid-up death eaters, they think voldemort has the right idea.

dumbledore - and the order - are shown throughout canon to be preoccupied with the big fish. the death eaters they target are voldemort's inner circle - the marked loyalists he trusts as generals. we never see - outside of the snatchers - the lower-profile but infinitely more important cogs in voldemort's machine: the people who traffic stolen goods and lift ministry secrets from filing cabinets and observe potential recruits in pubs and pass gossip along whisper networks until it reaches the dark lord. the sort of people crouch clearly wanted to eradicate, but couldn't find the goodwill within the ministry to do so.

bagman can easily fit this profile - he's presumably a pureblood or a half-blood and raised in the wizarding world, since his parents canonically have at least one wizarding friend [augustus rookwood]; he is clearly relaxed about making use of the class system, since he expects to finesse a job out of rookwood when his professional quidditch career ends; and he is possessed of extremely dubious morals. we also know that pleading ignorance of who you were working for was a famously successful - and, presumably, voldemort-sanctioned - way of getting away with having colluded with the death eaters. it makes just as much sense - then - for bagman's "oh, i just thought i was chatting about state secrets with rookwood as a mate" act to be in the same vein as lucius malfoy pretending to be under the imperius curse as it does for him to actually have been that dumb, and so it makes sense for him to have gone actively looking for information he could pass to rookwood because of some sympathies [even if they were uneasy ones] with rookwood's cause.

do i think he was a marked death eater? no - i think voldemort couldn't pick him out of a line-up and he never achieved anything other than being an informant rookwood could tap for details and documents he could pass up to his master if they looked interesting.

but this would have been what voldemort's ministry infiltration actually looked like - and it is a much more insidious, and interesting, concept than loads of aristocrats fighting and being sexy, which i think is really worth exploring when we think about wizarding politics.

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

found you - ch. 2 (part II)

pairing: gojo satoru x female oc (ara natsuna)

tropes: psycho! rival! athlete! yandere! gojo x introvert! booksmart! oc

warnings: 18+ only babes, profanity, pet-names (baby, kitten), stalking/possessive themes, manipulation, dub/non-consented sex, nipple play, size kink (slightly), fingering, begging, oral (f receiving), praising/dirty talk, rough sex, choking (a lil) & jus gojo being unhinged (as usual)

word count/plot: [6.4k] ara catches gojo's attention when news breaks that she is the top academically ranked student in their grade. he is ranked second. he tries to befriend her but she ignores him. despite her obvious disinterest, his obsession begins...

a/n: i took forever to edit this bc for some reason i thought i already posted it LMAo BUT y'all i'm like 75% thru w the next chapter n i'm lowkey scared to post it LMFAO (yes ik i'm a slow writer but pLS bear w me, next chapter is also hella long & wild). anyway tysm for all ur comments on the last post, esp the long ones! i read all of them & they make me happy :,) pls enjoyy

ch. 1 , chapter 2 [ part 1 | part 2 ] , ch. 3

She jolted when she heard a knock on her bedroom window. She glanced over at the electric clock on her desk. 7:16 pm.

She swallowed, glancing over at her bedroom door to make sure it was locked before her head whipped around at the sound of his voice.

“Hi, baby.”

He stepped out from behind the curtains, that easygoing smile on his face. He wore a navy blue half-zip sweater, layered with a white tee underneath and loose-fitted light gray sweatpants. His platinum hair tousled as usual as he approached her. He looked like a model who'd just gotten off-duty.

She was rooted in her seat when he stepped up to her. His hand resting on the back rail of her chair as he bent low to press a light kiss on her neck. His familiar scent wafted over her as she turned away.

His hand slipped over her stomach to subtly push her back flat against the chair. She held back a slight gasp.

“I missed you at school today.” he muttered.

After their ‘altercation’ earlier, he tried to convince her to come back to school with him. He offered to take her in his car but she refused-using the excuse that she already called the school saying she was sick. He then promised that he’d see her after basketball practice. She wasn’t looking forward to it.

For a second, she wondered if she should hide in the basement again but she couldn’t even if she wanted to because her Dad had come home early. He would question why she was in the basement if she stayed there for longer than necessary.

She glanced over at him, her voice low, “My Dad’s home.”

“I know.” he murmured beside her ear, “You told me over text.”

She was hoping that would deter him. She shifted slightly in her seat as his hand began to caress her stomach, “Why are you so afraid of him?” he asked.

She went still-immediately tensing up in her chair. His eyes were attentive as he watched her. Millie had told him that her parents were strict but that was all he knew.

She lightly pushed away his hand from her stomach, “I have to use the bathroom.” she whispered.

His hand wrapped around her neck, his lips at her temple, “Don’t lie to me.”

She shot out of her chair, stepping several steps away from him to get some distance. “I-I don’t want to talk about it.” she gritted out.

She didn’t look at him, her shoulders stiff as she stood still. She felt her arms shaking at her sides as she mentally prepared herself to feel some sort of pain for her defiance. But instead all she was met with was the sound of a low sigh.

She felt hands cup her face and immediately looked up. His eyes glittered, in the same way that the ocean appeared when sunlight skimmed its surface. Not that she would know–she’d only seen it in videos.

He searched her face, “Fine. But you’ll tell me soon. You’ll tell me everything soon.”

He tilted his head, “Every problem of yours is mine.”

She merely stared at him. She wished she could scream. The type of scream that could let out all the frustration she was feeling–let out all the mental torment because she was so tired of feeling like this. She hated the tiny voice in the back of her mind that wanted to tell him everything-everything down to the miniscule details because she was tired. Tired of being so alone.

But she refused to share her problems with someone who was one of her problems themselves.

Why did life have to be this way?

She snapped out of her thoughts when she felt his lips press into hers lightly.

“Let’s go somewhere,” he said, against her lips.

Her eyes widened as she pulled back.

“We have my car. Let’s go somewhere–anywhere you want.” he offered.

She stared at him—silently watching the excitement grow in his eyes.

His hands at her face squeezed slightly, “C’mon, there’s gotta be something you want. Tell me.”

She shook her head, pushing his hands away from her as she looked aside. “I have homework to do.” she muttered.

“Such a good girl.” he teased, before tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She resisted the urge to smack his hand away. He was always finding some excuse to touch her.

“Don’t you have school work to do as well?” she questioned. He was second in rank-right after her-and yet she'd never seen him do any schoolwork.

“I did most of it during my free period. I have some other stuff left but I can do it in the morning.”

“The morning?” she questioned.

He nodded before frowning, “I should’ve just brought my backpack with me. We could’ve studied together.” he pinched her cheek.

She immediately turned her head away and he chuckled. Before she could distance herself any further he grabbed her by the waist.

“I didn’t bring any books so I could pay attention to you, y’know. Now don’t make me sad and tell me where you wanna go.”

She shifted awkwardly in his hold-her hands going to his forearms, “What are you talking about-”

“Ara, I want attention,” he said, flat-out.

She froze, simply staring at him before blurting, “What are you-a baby?”

He grinned, “Yes, your baby.”

He cupped one of her tits, “I got needs, Mama.”

Just as her face twisted up and a chuckle nearly escaped his lips, her Dad’s voice suddenly arose.

“ARA! Come down and do the dishes!”

They both froze.

She pushed herself out of Gojo’s grasp, “Coming!”

Just as she headed towards the door, he grabbed her wrist.

“Listen, you better think of something or else I will.”

She hesitated before pulling her arm away and quickly leaving the room.

She stood outside her room-nervous. She had the excuse she was going to use on the tip of her tongue but she wasn’t sure how he was gonna take it. His reactions always varied.

Just as she reached for the doorknob, her room door opened and someone grabbed her arm–dragging her inside.

“Wha–” she nearly yelled but Gojo clamped his hand around her mouth.

“Shh.” he said as he silently closed the door behind her.

She glared at him, speaking through his hand, “Are you crazy? My Dad could’ve seen you.”

Her Dad had just been making his way up the stairs.

He dropped his hand, “You were taking too long. How many goddamn dishes were they?”

In truth, she had taken a while on purpose.

“A lot.” she mumbled.

He squinted-doubtfully-while watching her cross the room to her desk.

He folded his arms, leaning against the door, “Did you think of something?”

She avoided looking at him, “I seriously have work to do, Satoru..”

He uncrossed his arms, letting them drop to his sides, “I knew you were gonna say that.”

“What the hell..” she muttered, while looking at her open notebook before her. All of the questions she had to work on were already filled in. She flipped the page to see he had answered the rest of the questions as well.

She nearly jumped when she felt his arms slip around her, “Happy birthday.” he teased.

She blinked-in shock. She racked her brain for an excuse. Anything–something—

His arms squeezed around her tighter, pulling her further into his chest. He nuzzled his face into her hair, “My plan.” he murmured, possessively.

Gojo glanced over at her before tugging at her hand in his.

He pulled her into a hug, “You look so damn cute.”

She closed her eyes, merely letting herself get crushed before ducking to pull herself out of his grasp.

“You’re just saying that because I’m in your sweater.”

They had waited until her Dad retreated into his room before leaving through the window. As they waited, Gojo had wanted to pick out her outfit. She refused-instead she decided to wear black cargo pants and a graphic tee she had lying around.

He’d insisted that she wear his half-zip pullover on top because it might be ‘cold’ but in reality he just wanted to fulfill his fantasy of his girl wearing his clothes.

She stopped short, staring at the matte black McLaren P1 parked on the street. She resisted the urge to let her mouth fall open.

She turned around, “I want to go home.”

In truth, she didn’t want to be outside in the first place. She didn’t like the idea of sneaking out, especially with her Dad home but Gojo hadn’t stopped nagging. So instead the argument boiled down to making the trip super quick. He promised she’d be back in her room in a ‘jiffy’.

He grabbed her shoulders, “What happened?”

She couldn’t stand it. Him casually driving a $2 million car. It was downright obnoxious. She hated that she knew such details but it couldn’t be helped. She had a car phase back in middle school.

She glared up at him, “Did you do this on purpose?” she asked, without a second thought.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, sounding genuine-for once.

Her annoyance got the best of her as she spat, “Is this why you wanted to go out this bad? So you can show off.”

He raised a white brow, “Show off? Show off what?”

She eyed him, warily. There’s no way he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. He’s the school’s biggest flexer and he knows it.

She stared at his clueless expression with growing doubt. Does he really not know? Is driving luxury cars that much of a normal occurrence for him? How infuriating.

She looked away from him while responding flatly, “The car.”

He glanced over at the car before looking back at her. His expression blank. He repeated the action with a furrowed brow before finally drawing the connection.

He started to laugh, brightly, “What—No, no. I take the McLaren out sometimes since my Dad’s barely around to use it. It’s not mine.”

She stared at him in dubious shock. He’d said the words so casually it was maddening. Even the airiness of his laugh sounded rich.

She wanted to scoff. As if ownership is the concern. Did he not realize the price of that car could change the entirety of someone’s life? A person could go from homeless to having enough money leftover to leave to their children. She’d be set for life with that kind of money—she’d never have to rely on her Dad again.

“I want to go home.” she murmured. She didn’t think she could step in that car without feeling sick.

His hand came up to her throat and she was forced to look up at him. Her eyes went wide.

His cool, turquoise eyes scanned her face,  “It’s my plan, remember?”

She swallowed, before nodding silently. His hand felt cold on her neck. She wondered if he could feel her pulse.

“Stop worrying.” His hand slid to her jaw, his thumb grazing over her bottom lip, “You’ll be home in no time.”

She stared up at him. Her heartbeat going off at a flimsy rate as she realized there was no getting out of this one. Something about his tone made it clear.

She jolted when his lips suddenly met hers. His lips were delicate—prompting. Light, short kisses that were followed up with another. His hand on her jaw drawing her closer.

The kiss felt like a reminder. A reminder that this was still his way, his rules.

She covered her face in her hands, despite the car windows being tinted already.

She hated the attention.

She knew it was coming-she anticipated it a mile away. There was no way people were going to ignore a car like this at an ice cream parlor.

She already recognized half of the people here from school. It was the local ice cream spot that everyone went to. She was grateful Gojo respected her rule of wanting to keep their ‘relationship’ private because she was certain she’d crumble to dust if she had to step out of the car with that many eyes on her.

And yet, Gojo did it with ease.

She kept her hands over her face when the door of McLaren opened upwards in its obnoxious fashion. She didn’t need to look to know several people were staring at Gojo slip into the car.

She felt something hard poke at the top of her head, “Kitten.”

She raised her head to see him lower a soft serve ice cream cone in front of her. Apparently, that was something she was required to get.

She took it, “Thank you.”

A short laugh left him and she glanced over to see him sitting comfortably in his seat, arm resting on the ledge of the car door. A subtle grin on his lips as he stared at her.

“Is being seen with me that much of a problem?”

She tensed, her grip on the cone tightening as she tried to come up with a safe answer. Her mind drew a complete blank—betraying her.

Her heart beat skyrocketed when she suddenly felt Gojo’s large hand on her thigh. He squeezed.

A soft sigh left his lips and she couldn’t resist glancing his way. She tried to keep the fear off of her face only to freeze when she was met with a rather fond expression on his countenance.

His thumb caressed her thigh, “You’re shyness just makes me want to mess you up more, y’know.”

She was rooted in spot when he leaned over to place a light kiss on the corner of her lip.

He leaned back in his seat, “Go on,” he urged, faint amusement laced in his tone as he gestured towards her cone, “Eat.”

She complied, licking up the side of the soft serve. It was delicious. She couldn’t remember the last time she had it.

“How is it.” he asked, his voice oddly tight.

She licked her lips, before glancing over at him. For once his eyes were dark, nearly black. A thinly amused smile rested on his lips. She couldn’t understand his expression. She stared between his eyes, her heartbeat racing when she realized he looked.. almost.. hungry.

“It’s.. good.” she murmured.

His hand on her thigh squeezed again, making her jolt subtly.

Suddenly his face was in her neck, a breathy sound leaving his lips as his hands slipped underneath her shirt. One hand slid around her back, pulling her close to him by slipping around the curve of her waist. His other hand crept up her stomach before cupping her tits over her bra—squeezing tight.

“I can’t take it,” he nipped at her neck, “You’re gonna look so pretty giving me head.”

Her eyes widened—belatedly clocking why Gojo insisted she get the soft-serve ice cream.

She writhed underneath his hands at her tits, “Ungh—“ she shoved him away with her free hand, “You’re such a pervert.”

A dry laugh escaped him as he leaned back in his seat, running his hands over his face. Her breath stopped short when she saw the outline of something protruding in his sweatpants as he shifted in his seat.

He lowered his hands, his eyes glittering as he faced her. His head still against the headrest, “Only for you.”

“That… doesn’t make it any better.”

A smirk lit his face before his hand suddenly wrapped around her neck. She froze.

“It’s your fault. If you didn’t make my dick hard the second we met, maybe I wouldn’t be like this.”

His fingers began to caress her neck, his eyes sharp-yet endearing somehow. She felt like a flighty dove being petted by its owner-while the owner decided to kill it or not.

“You’re everything I’m not. No one knows a damn thing about you. You barely talk—in fact, you go out of your way to avoid people,” he laughed slightly, “The one friend you got, you made on the bus.”

“You're not involved in sports or clubs—not even a internship or volunteering. You’re somehow on every teacher's good side,” he smirked a bit, “That’s impossible for me.” She didn’t doubt it, Mrs. Finch was living proof.

“You don’t party, drink or smoke,” he shook his head, “You can’t imagine my surprise when your name was called first during ranking.”

His blue eyes shimmered in the dark, “A girl I didn’t even know exists. A quiet ace. Too reserved for her own good.” The words felt almost mocking.

His fingers tightened around her neck, “I was so mad I never noticed you before.”

He chuckled slightly, “Suguru didn’t get it. He didn’t get why I had to know you,“ The corner of his lip tugged upwards, “Why I wanted to peel back every layer of you and figure you out.”

“But I.. I had to understand how someone like you exists. There’s no way someone that smart wouldn’t show it off. There’s no way you’re first in rank with no extracurriculars either, but—you're just that good aren’t you?”

His face was close to hers now, “Have you ever gotten anything below a 95 in your life?”

She wasn’t breathing. It was true. She hadn’t—she wanted to say she was naturally gifted at school. And maybe she was to some extent, but without fail-she always tried on her assignments. No matter how hopeless, depressed and alone she felt. Completing her assignments and getting good grades was the only validation she got. The only validation that felt just.

She happened to get close to teachers because of it. Teachers always respected her intellect, despite her introvertedness.

“It would’ve been easier if I was mad at you,” he mused, a faint smile on his lips, “Suguru thought I was—he thought I felt one upped by you. And I guess I did.. for a bit.”

He chuckled, “Ego is such a fickle thing.. You don’t know how much you bruised mine when you didn’t even speak to me when I first approached you.”

His smile widened, “No one’s ever treated me like that. Even people who don’t like me still spare me a word, at least.”

His hand around her throat drew her closer, “You looked at me like I was nothing.”

A dark smile spread across his lips, “And now I’m gonna become your everything.”

Just as he lowered his lips for a kiss, she wrenched out of his grasp. Her back partly against her seat and the car door as she breathed raggedly. She felt drops of ice-cream slip past her fingers and make puddles on the floor.

She closed her eyes, trembling so bad that she didn’t even want to look at him.

“Ara,” his voice felt distant to her ears, “Araa, did I scare you?”

She flinched when she felt his knuckles graze her cheek, immediately facing the other way before freezing when she realized she wasn’t supposed to act like this. She was supposed to act like she was afraid of falling in love with him.

But how could she? How could she act when he’d completely ruined her just for the sake of his ego. She felt sick—absolutely sick. She wanted to be anywhere else but in the car with him. Home or miles and miles away. Anywhere but here.

“Ara,” his voice was soft, closer, “I’m sorry, kitten, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She flinched once more when she felt his hand run down the crown of her head to her nape, smoothing down her hair.

“I just meant that you’re mine.” his tone was low, assuring. “You were always mine. The rankings just helped me find you.”

His fingers tightened around her nape slightly, “I take care of what’s mine.”

Her exhale came out staggered as she tried not to cry. Her trembling body straightened slightly as she opened her eyes to face him. She knew her eyes were watery.

His eyes were cool, a calm ocean-blue as he assessed her.

“I know.” she murmured, through wobbly lips. Carefully slipping her mask on in silence.

She thought she saw something flicker in his eyes, “Yeah?”

She nodded, her eyes fluttering shut as he drew her closer to him—letting him kiss her. The kiss wasn’t kind. She knew he was tasting her-tasting the ice cream on her lips-her mouth-as he kissed her. His hand on her nape held her firmly as he tilted his head to kiss her more.

The kiss felt like a claim; a claim that seeped further into her skin the longer he held her lips captive. She had a sickening feeling that she was signing her life away.

She knew what was going to happen when they got home. And it was confirmed when he stopped by the convenience store on the way back.

She didn’t need to look in the bag to know he’d gotten condoms. He got her a lollipop, one for himself as well—as if they needed more sweets after all the ice cream they ate.

The second they made it through the window, his eyes were on her—the hunger in them palpable.

She swallowed, stepping backwards slowly, “You're staying the night?” she asked, despite already knowing the answer. 

It took him two strides to stand in front of her, he grasped her chin, “Of course, baby.”

His crystalline eyes scanned her face before he bent over to give her a kiss. Just as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, she drew her face back.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom.” she didn’t know why she was whispering but it couldn’t be helped.

He stared at her for a moment before releasing her chin. “ ‘Kay, kitten.”

She quickly entered the bathroom attached to her room and locked the door. The second she was alone, she teared up. She wished she could stay in the bathroom forever. What would he do if she did? Would he break in the bathroom door? Would the sound of that awaken her Father?

She shivered, hugging herself tight as she hunched over the sink. She felt like she was going to throw up.

Her hands went to the countertop’s edge, her fingers tightening around its sides as she forced herself to breathe. She couldn’t afford to break down just yet. Gojo was waiting in the room for her and who knows what he would do if she took too long.

She closed her eyes, wanting to scream. She knew what she didn’t want to do but she knew what she had to do.

“It’s just an act,” she whispered to herself, her voice cracking, “Just an act.”

Her body gradually went from trembling to stiller than stone as she convinced herself-convinced herself that she could do this. Despite every nerve ending in her body telling her to run as far away as possible.

She didn’t dare look in the mirror before her; she knew one look into her own eyes would make her lose all resolve. Instead, she straightened and stepped out of the bathroom.

She glanced around her dark room. The moonlight streaming through her open curtains being the only source of light within the darkness. Her eyes landed on Gojo.

He was laying down on her bed, shirtless, lollipop in his mouth. Bright blue eyes already on hers.

A light smile graced his features as he pulled out the empty lollipop stick from his mouth and tossed it somewhere on the floor. He sat up, his cool eyes looking her up and down before patting the space on the bed in front of him.

She hesitated before walking stiffly towards him. Her resolve slowly slipping away with each step. Every signal in her body told her to walk the opposite direction.

When she was two steps away from the spot of the bed he’d gestured towards, he reached out to her. His hands slipped around her waist—pulling her in between his legs on the edge of the bed.

“Are you trying to tease me by walking slow?” he nearly whined.

He ran his hands along her sides before tugging his sweater off of her. His eyes never left hers as he tugged off her shirt next. She did her best to refrain from trembling.

His eyes widened in appreciation at her lacey white padded bra.

He bit his lower lip before bending over to pull down her pants. She jolted when his hands went to the back of her knees and calves, maneuvering her legs to step out of her pants.

He leaned back then, his eyes looking up and down her body before letting out a low groan. His hands on her hips squeezing needily.

“Fuck, so pretty.”

His index fingers hooked into her panties on either side of her hips—bunching up her panties before tugging upwards. She gasped, nearly falling forward as her panties rubbed against her clit.

Her hands went to his thighs to keep from falling and he smirked.

“These are mine.” he murmured into her ear before bending over to pull her panties down. She shivered when she felt his temple graze her hip as he maneuvered her legs again to get her to step out of her panties. He lightly bit her hip before sitting up straight.

He slipped her panties into his sweatpant pockets, a shameless grin on his face. She flushed.

His hands slipped around her ass, drawing her closer between his legs until she felt the tip of his cock against her navel through his sweats. She gasped when his large hands squeezed her ass cheeks while nipping at her neck.

His lips and teeth were insistent along her neck and shoulder—she knew there would be marks. The hickeys from their first time still hadn’t completely healed.

Suddenly his hands were at her tits, squeezing heartily while he marked the skin between her collarbones. She winced.

He withdrew slightly, squeezing her tits once more, “Fuck, baby, this bra is so cute. Makes you look so pretty. Gonna buy you one in every color.”

He squeezed her tits hard and she trembled slightly.

“G-Satoru-please.” she whispered.

“Please what, kitten.” he murmured before reaching around her to easily unclip her bra.

“Y-you hold me so tight.”

She felt his cock twitch against her belly. He cupped her bare tits, his thumbs running over her areolas before squeezing her tits in the entirety of his palms.

He groaned, “Cause these tits are mine, baby.”

Suddenly his arm slipped around her ass and she was flipped onto the bed, her back to the sheets. He lay atop her, his mouth on her tits.

His tongue lapped up her areola, the tip of his tongue flicking at its center to make her nipples harden. Once her nipple hardened against his tongue, she felt his hard cock twitch against her lower belly. His hips bucking into her as he fondled her unattended tit in his palm.

He sucked her nipples, hard—repeatedly swirling his tongue around it at first before sucking her tits like he could actually get some breast milk. He pulled away slightly, staring at her perky, puffy nipples with a satisfied gleam in his eyes before lowering his head to leave a dark hickeys on the side of her breasts. His clothed cock grinding against her spread legs all the while.

She whimpered as he began to give the same attention to her other tit--now palming the one that was covered in love bites.

His tongue flicked her nipple in his mouth before groaning. He withdrew slightly to look up at her and mutter-a string of saliva attached to his lip, “Could suck these tits forever.”

She couldn’t deny the feeling him playing with her tits elicited. It made something in her grow hot-hot enough to make her squirm. But due to being completely surrounded by Gojo’s huge body she couldn’t move as much as she would’ve liked.

She grit her teeth, unable to hold back a low moan as he moved the flat of his tongue over her hard nipple-flicking at it with the tip of his tongue. Her back arched, putting more of her tit in his mouth before she slipped her fingers through his white hair and pulled him back. She couldn’t take it.

His blue eyes were immediately on her, searching her face closely. She trembled slightly before deciding to distract him by pulling his face up to kiss her. He eagerly complied.

His lips crashed into hers, tongue viciously sweeping her mouth. He was hungry.

The pace of his grinding picked up a thousandfold, almost as if he were trying to fuck her through his sweats. His cock was so stiff, she couldn’t help but whimper in his mouth as he kissed her.

He drew his head back slightly to bite at her bottom lip. She felt his large hand slide down her shoulder, past her collarbones, over her tits, her stomach before coming to a stop at her entrance. His fingertips touched her pussy lips.

He broke the kiss to watch her expression as he slipped his fingers into her—only to end up groaning himself.

His head dropped as he began to pump his middle and ring finger in and out of her slowly, “So fuckin’ wet.”

She whimpered as his fingers continued to pump into her—the feeling making her twist underneath him.

As she began to writhe, his face somehow came before hers, “Does it feel good, baby.”

Her eyes widened, her face immediately heating up. She would die before admitting anything he did felt good—even if it unfortunately did. It felt so much better to be touched by someone else than herself.

Why’d it have to be him making me feel like this?

Suddenly the pace of his fingers picked up drastically and she cried out. Her insides instinctively tightening around his fingers.

"S-satoru! Unghh-ah!-oh my-nnnghh!" she mewled.

“There you go,” he muttered as she began to moan and whine at each rough fingerfuck. He dipped his fingers knuckle deep within her, his pace insistent.

He perused her writhing figure beneath him, his firm form keeping her in place. Her tits swung upwards with each forceful shove of his fingers. He flushed, his cerulean blue eyes locked in on her face as a subtle smirk bloomed along his lips.

“I wish you could see yourself right now.” his voice husky, “You look so fuckin’ good.”

Her walls clamped around his fingers and his smirk widened. He dropped a light kiss on her lips, “Want you to cum, kitten.”

His fingers managed to move faster within her. She yelped, her back arching as she pushed at his shoulders. He didn’t budge.

“Please-no-nnghh–ah!-uh-”

“Wanna see the pretty face you make when you cum all over my fingers.” he spoke into her temple.

“N-no!” she gasped out when she felt it—horror consuming her when her body seemed to respond to his words, his pace. Her insides grew hot, hot in that way that felt torturously good.

His hand clamped her over lips when she screamed in betrayal. Her body writhed uncontrollably as waves after waves of pleasure rolled over her, making her shake around his ruthless fingers.

“Fuck, so hot.” he gritted out-his eyes never leaving her face. He kept up his pace until her shakiness subsided.

“Such a good girl.. gave me what I want so fast,” His smirk reappeared, “You like my fingers that much?”

She frowned-her voice hoarse as she responded instinctively, “N-no.”

Suddenly his thumb pressed against her puffy clit, making her jump. He began to rub her clit at a perfect pressure.

“Ah!-Goj-nnghh-no! Fuck-” she moaned, unable to stop herself.

“Liar.” he grinned.

She grit her teeth, hating the control he had on her body with every part of her being. She attempted to squeeze her thighs together-to end his ministrations but it was useless. His firm waist planted between her legs left her with no control. She couldn’t ignore his hard length poking at her inner thigh, it was as if it were demanding her attention.

Suddenly he leaned back-lifting his fingers to his lips to taste her juices. The sight was filthy and intoxicating.

“Mm-Fuck, taste so good, kitten.” he muttered, before lowering himself. He wrapped his hands around her thighs and immediately placed his mouth over her clit.

She jerked forward, gasping-but his hold on her thighs kept her legs wide open.

“Gojo!” she cried out through gritted teeth. He sucked along her clit and entrance with such diligence—as if he were starving.

“Nngh—P-please-haah-” she wanted to beg him to stop but it seemed to have the opposite effect. His hands tightened around her thighs as he dug his face deeper between her legs.

The feeling was so unexpected she couldn’t help but whine in desperation. Moans slipped out of her as his tongue expertly licked her cunt. It was overwhelming.

He lapped up her clit, making her jolt. The flat of his tongue rubbed against her tense nub-making her all too sensitive. She couldn’t take it.

“S-Satoru, stop! St-unghhh-ah-nngh! Please-please.”

He sucked her clit deliriously-as if he couldn’t get enough. His tongue powering past her rowdy hips and her futile attempts to shove his head away. His arms around her thighs forced her hips down and apart. His tongue swirled endlessly around her puffy clit-the tip of his tongue pressing and sucking right where she needed it most.

Her mewls went silent as she spasmed, cumming harder than ever. She felt like she was floating. Her body bucked as she bit her lower lip-hard-to hide the obnoxious moans on the cusp of her lips. Her body felt like it had been caught on fire-in the best way possible.

When he removed his lips from her cunt, she stared up at the ceiling-refusing to let herself wallow in the self-hatred threatening to consume her. Why am I enjoying this?

She winced when she felt his fingers slip into her cunt again. She was so wet and gummy inside that the action made a subtle lewd sound. He groaned, pumping his fingers into her lazily, “Fuck-so wet-so ready for me.”

He slipped his fingers out before climbing atop her to press a passionate kiss to her lips. He kissed her so hard she was pressed deeper into the bed. His tongue tangling with hers, kissing her roughly as if trying to consume her.

He broke the kiss, “You taste yourself, hm? Did you taste how sweet your pretty cunt is?”

He spread her legs apart, “Gonna use this sweet lil cunt as many times I want.”

She shivered as she watched him look her up and down with such obvious hunger. Her legs instinctively drew closer but he shoved them apart.

Her eyes widened in horror to see that he was already naked. Condom already on his cock.

Before she could even react, his hand slid around her neck. His grip tight around her throat as he thrust his full length into her.

She couldn't even scream, her back naturally arching as her cunt was forced to adjust to him. It didn't matter how wet she was, his cock always pried her apart. Her breath was stuck in her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut, teeth grit together in pain. The action had been so rough, she couldn’t handle it.

Suddenly his hand on her throat slid to her jaw, forcing her to face him above her.

“Look at me, kitten. Look at what I do to you.”

She wanted to sob-a weak sound leaving her lips as his hand around her jaw tightened.

“Ara..” he murmured into her temple so breathlessly-so needily-as if she were his most desired prayer. As if he'd die without her.

She whimpered, her cunt inadvertently squeezing around him. His breath caught and she knew she was doomed.

His fingers clasped around her throat while his other hand gripped the softest part of her hip, before fucking her like a ragdoll.

She didn’t know how the bed didn’t fall apart, she felt like her insides were. She was so loud-her throat was sore from how loud she was. His hand over her mouth was the only thing saving her dignity.

She felt like she could feel every veiny ridge of his cock, burning into her insides with each rough fuck. He made sure her cunt took all of him in-no matter how tight the fit was. It felt impossible to get used to.

“Ara.. oh, Ara..” he breathed huskily into her neck, “F-fuck,” his hand tightened over her mouth as he continued to fuck the daylight out of her.

The sounds of their lewd sex filled the air. She couldn’t breathe. Tears slipped down the sides of her face. Her throat scratchy.

“Feel so good, baby, fuck,” he babbled, “You get me so hard-haah-Wanna hear all those cute lil sounds you’re makin’—fuck-so perfect, perfect fuckin’ pussy.”

His cock pistoned into her relentlessly. She wasn’t sure she had a single coherent thought left in her brain.

And suddenly, his breath hitched and she swore his cock grew stiffer. His hips stuttered before slamming into her completely, forcing her hips to rise as he buried his cock deep.

Panic swarmed into her at the thought of him having no condom but she remembered, she’d seen it on his cock before he entered her. She shivered when she felt something warmer than her insides pour into her, though it felt much more subdued compared to when he’d dumped loads of his cum in her before.

She shivered when his cock continued to twitch. His hands gripped her hips tight as he continued to push her body up to lodge his cock deeper, as if wanting her to feel every single part of him.

She let out a low, staggered cry at the sensation of feeling so full. Her back arched, her tits pressing into his chest as his cock rocked into her.

He groaned desperately, his face pressing into the side of hers. She was sure his grip on her hips was bound to leave marks.

Finally, his cock stopped twitching and she heard him sigh.

He cupped one of her tits, caressing her, “You make me feel so good, kitten.”

She shivered when she felt him lightly kiss her jaw, then nip at her throat. She knew there were bound to be marks left later.

She shifted slightly underneath him, he was still inside of her. He was still hard.

Her voice came out quiet and scratchy-almost fearful, “I-I’m tired, Satoru.”

His lips over her collarbone paused their ministrations. She felt her pulse skyrocket at his silence.

Suddenly his face appeared before hers, the tips of his platinum hair touching her forehead as his blue eyes scanned her face.

“Don’t be selfish now, Ara,” his voice was gravelly yet soft as he lowered himself to kiss her. The kiss was gentle, probing-she felt his cock twitch.

“We’re just getting started.”

previous chapter | next chapter

[toastedjeans]

Introducing...

TOWER OMENS

A Good Omens and Pizza Tower crossover AU! Because apparently i love combining stuff that couldn't be more different from each other and seeing how it fits.

HEADS UP! If you aren't familiar with Good Omens or haven't seen the series yet, i highly recommend you ignore this post. There will be spoilers! Block the tag "#Tower Omens" for future posts if necessary.

With that out of the way, let's get right into it! [LOTS OF TEXT AHEAD I'M SO SORRY]

But before we look at the characters, a thing i want to mention is that instead of London, most of the events will take place somewhere in Italy. That means that some events, locations, and references will be different from the source material. You'll see what exactly i mean when we get to the timeline changes.

Oh also this will be pepstavo heavy. Because it's my AU and I'm predictable.

Anyway, here's the characters + the percentage of how likely it is they'll keep that role

Peppino as Crowley [1000%]

For being a demon, he's actually a surprisingly good person, and would never hurt anyone innocent. He fell cause he got mad one too many times, and now he's got trauma from the Fall. Other demons don't trust him and keep making his existence harder than it already is. He hates being reminded of the angel he once was, it makes him feel like a failure. Despite that, he would never want to become an angel again, in fear of falling again and going through the same traumatic experience a second time. Also Maurice is up there.

Instead of a snake, his animal form is a cow. No, not a bull. For reasons. His demonic mark is a big mole, burn mark, or scar in the form of a cow's head/skull located on his upper arm.

Instead of the Bentley, Peppino will drive an old Vespa, AND he'll be the one with an establishment. So instead of Aziraphale's bookshop, there will be Peppino's pizzeria! His pizzas are the best in town, not because he yells at them to be better, but because he's just so passionate about cooking. He has small horns he has to hide underneath various hats, and unlike Crowley, he can only marginally change his hair. Sure, he can make them longer, but he'll remain bald so he won't ever be able to hide the horns underneath hair. Usually he wears a chef's hat, and only takes it off around someone he trusts. Also, because of the anxiety, he's a terrible liar.

Lastly, he absolutely hates rats, and only tolerates them when he sees how sweet Gus is to them. But he would never hurt them of course. He just thinks they shouldn't be anywhere near him. Ever. But spoiler alert, he warms up to them cause of Gustavo.

Gustavo as Aziraphale [1000%]

As an angel, he's a good person, but he can still be mischievous at times. He can hide his nervousness pretty well, therefore he is a decent liar, and always here to help Peppino out of a situation when he can't come up with a lie himself. He's very powerful and can get extremely scary when angered. You know he'll kick Maurice's ass once he finds out how he used to treat Peppino.

Gus used to just make food appear with miracles, but after asking Peppino why he didn't do it as well, Pep teaches him how to cook. He sees how passionate he is and how much he's enjoying himself, so he starts to enjoy it a lot as well. They then become coworkers in the pizzeria.

He's more comfortable with experimenting with clothes, so he will appear more feminine in various eras, and sometimes still with the moustache because yes. He has an affinity for animals, especially rats. Instead of magic tricks, he will train rats and then do a little rat circus show (he doesn't harm them of course). Sometimes he feeds rats after shifts and talks to them, basically to keep them out of the pizzeria while Peppino is near.

Maurice as Metatron [95%]

Our favorite scumbag. He used to bully Peppino relentlessly, and still keeps insulting him even when he's not around. But he shuts up around Gustavo cause he's incredibly afraid of him, but won't ever admit it. Knows how powerful he can get. Is always kinda aggressive, but mostly just talks shit and threatens anyone who crosses him with The Fall™. Since he's God's right hand everyone is kinda afraid of him. Hates Noisette and is glad when she disappears and later on leaves

Ziti as Muriel [100%]

They have absolutely no clue what they're doing, but they're doing their best. Afraid of pretty much everyone, especially higher ranking angels since they're authority (yes, even Burton). An even more terrible liar than Peppino. They've never been treated with kindness before, so they grow attached to Peppino and Gustavo really quickly.

They pose as a health inspector instead of police (and i can make them wear a suit!!!). Gus shows them some rats and they immediately fall in love with them. Of course they don't know anything about Earth, as far as they're concerned, rats in the kitchen are a normal thing. Pests? No, look at them, they're too cute to be pests! (Also side note, as much as i still don't quite like Ziti as much, they're perfect for Muriel. I can't see anyone else in that role!)

Noise as Beelzebub [95%]

You know he hates Peppino. When he's in hell, he wears his suit, and his rat ears and tail are visible. But when on Earth (he doesn't come there often, he hates it), he sometimes wears his regular outfit to hide his ears and tail. It's really uncomfortable to him though. Instead of flies, he has fleas who are always surrounding his head. They look like tiny Noisys :).

He'd never admit it but he has a huge crush on Noisette. Even gave Noisette a flea container that now lives in her bunny hood.

Noisette as Gabriel [95%]

First off, major change from the series, hear me out. She's besties with Gustavo. While she's sort of the leader of Heaven, she sometimes lets herself get pushed around by other archangels when there's things she doesn't wanna do. Like punishing Gustavo after the failed Armageddon event. She still feels bad that she had to do this.

Other than that, she's oblivious as hell (pun not intended). She loves spending time with Noise and doesn't care that he's a demon. Or maybe she doesn't quite realize. I mean, he's nice to her, and he's funny. Anyway, even on Earth she keeps her bunny hood up, almost like it's part of her.

As Jim, she will be called Hazel. Since i don't want her to come back naked she just doesn't have the bunny hood on. It triggers her memories but she gets headaches from them, so she can only keep wearing it after getting her memories back. One of Noise's fleas is always on her and she keeps accidentally almost killing it by scratching herself.

Mr Stick as Michael [70%]

Really wants to be in charge, but he doesn't know what he's doing. He relies on the other archangels to do his job but he still wants to be the leader. Just. Without the responsibilities or having to make choices. He thinks he's extremely smart and knows everything better than anyone else. But when tested he insists that everyone else is tricking him or cheating (his waluigi side is showing...). Wants to be intimidating but i mean look at him. He's a twig. I could snap him in half with one hand. And I'm damn weak.

Burton as Sandalphon [70%]

Another one who's very different from the series. He's sweet and polite, but can be a little intimidating due to being Very Large™. He wouldn't hurt a fly though. He's also very good friends with Gustavo and Noisette, but like Noisette, he's sometimes pressured into being mean or cruel - such as attempting to kill Gus - by the other archangels

Fake Peppino as Shax [85%]

He'll be called Bruno in this. He never met Peppino despite looking like him, and being his replacement after Pep got banned from Hell. When angered, he can get extremely intimidating, but mostly he just doesn't quite understand how humans work. His speech is reversed, and only demons can understand him, but others can learn to understand him if they take the time.

He appears more goopy in Hell, like his in game sprite, and looks like the Nothing Compares guy when on Earth, but still can't speak normally. He either uses sign language when having to talk to humans, or just gestures around. Or he thinks he's doing sign language but actually just says gibberish.

In the end when Noise and Noisette are reunited, he gets promoted to Duke of Hell by Noise, but he doesn't want the position so he gives it to someone else.

Pizzahead as Lucifer; Pizzaface as Satan [99%]

Look. If Satan and Lucifer are the same character, then both are just different forms. In my head at least. Pizzaface is Satan (more demonic, huge, gets destroyed), and Pizzahead is Lucifer (more humanoid, human height, may return later).

While PF is more for intimidation, PH is more for visiting Earth in secret or when having to go through the Hell offices. PF created Fake Peppino and the Peppi clones, nobody knows why he seems to be so obsessed with Peppino that he keeps making demons in his image.

Pepperman as Uriel [89%]

He just really wants to get rid of Gustavo. He may look silly but he can be extremely intimidating, and way stronger than he looks. Selfish as heck. I want him to always wear a feather boa, both in his angel form and in his human form. And also i want him to look a bit androgynous. Genderfluid icon. Idk where his art would come into play but I'll find a way probably. Maybe his art form is fashion. So he's always wearing some kinda extravagant clothes, at least when he's on earth. Plus the feather boa.

Vigilante as Hastur [85%]

Basically looks the same as in game while in Hell, but with horns on his cowboy hat. On Earth he looks like a human cowboy. Idk how else to describe it lol. Even if he didn't like Doise very much, he's still mad at Peppino for killing him. He witnesses the Holy Water™ incident and tells Noise, but Noise doesn't believe him.

Doise as Ligur [95%]

Looks very similar to Noise, but unlike him, Doise isn't a rat, but a raccoon. Him and Vigi didn't really like each other that much, but they still preferred each other's company over anyone else's (especially Noise's). He dies via Holy Water but it's not as straightforward as you'd think (explanation below)

Peddito as the Holy Water [95%]

This secret special liquid is made for angels to kill demons easier. When thrown to the ground, it shapes into a sort of clone of the being who used it, but with hollow eyes, which is supposed to confuse or scare the opponent. It has the same strengths and weaknesses as the original, but without fears or other pesky feelings in the way. Since Peppino throws it, it will turn into a form that resembles himself. The liquid will then chase and kill the first thing it sees, in our case Doise, and then vanish with him. Like, he'll just vaporize or something. Only angels know about this weapon, and it is only used in extreme situations.

Peppiclones as Eric (disposable demon) [100%]

There's just. So many of them. Sometimes they get in a fight and kill each other before someone can give them instructions. Feral. Fake Peppino hates them cause they tend to get on his nerves quickly and rarely listen to him (which is impressive since it takes a lot to make him angry or annoyed)

Brick as the Hellhound [100%]

Brick will start out as a Bad Rat, and will turn into a Stupid Rat once given a name. Yes, she will still be gigantic. But she's the only giant rat, all the others are normal sized. Won't stay with Fungo, i really want her to stay with Gustavo (or at least reunite later on?). I don't care there has to be a reunion between them. Maybe Fungo is going to college and can't keep Brick, and the parents can't provide anymore. Idk. I love Brick i want her and Gus to stay friends

The Toppins as the Them & Warlock [101%]

Mushroom as Adam -> human name Fungo

Cheese as Wensleydale -> human name Gio (short for Formaggio)

Tomato as Brian -> human name Tom

Sausage as Warlock -> human name Saul or Soos

Pineapple as Pepper -> human name Pina

Pizzelle as Maggie [75%]

She's hopelessly in love with Rosette, but way too anxious to talk to her. Actually isn't sure if Rosette is flirting with her or if she's that nice to every customer. Sometimes she says things before thinking about them and regrets it later (she lets the demons into the pizzeria). Keeps thinking she's not good enough for Rosette or that she hates her

Rosette as Nina [75%]

She owns a cafe and bakery. Always has a smile on her face and is sweet to everyone she meets. She did just go through a breakup with her toxic partner, but tries to downplay it by acting like nothing happened. Actually didn't realize her partner was really manipulative and controlling until talking to Pizzelle about it when they're shut in during the power outage. She's not quite ready for a new relationship yet but keeps Pizzelle in mind, they're besties for the time being :)

Pizzano as Mr. Brown [55%]

He's an aspiring actor, but can sometimes be too much in his role, so that he keeps convincing himself that Pizzelle is his arch rival. He makes videos/short films on the internet (i don't wanna say he's an influencer but it goes in that direction). He doesn't quite have a crush on Gustavo, but he enjoys his company a lot more than Peppino would like.

✨ Timeline changes ✨

|| Before the beginning ||

Peppino used to be an archangel, he had bigger wings and hair (sorry Pep). Like Crowley, he created the stars but he used something like an oven for it, or maybe a cauldron. He used to be kinda apathetic towards other angels, and only liked creating stars. But he does eventually talk to Gustavo cause he seems genuinely interested in what he does, and nobody ever showed appreciation towards him or his work. Maurice was already a total asshole to him, which obviously angered Peppino, and then he just let him fall one day, stating that he wasn't behaving like an angel should.

Gustavo was a kinda low tier angel, basically just a messenger for other angels. Nice to every angel he meets in hopes of becoming friends. Unlike Aziraphale, he won't immediately be in love with Peppino at first sight but he talks to him more often than others so he starts feeling attached quicker.

|| In the beginning (4004 BC) ||

Peppino unintentionally made Eve eat the apple cause he bumped into the tree in his animal form and it landed directly in front of her. He's first on the wall cowering cause he feels guilty. Then Gustavo joins him and tries lifting the mood a little bit. He's aware that it was the plan to let the humans out but didn't know how. Tries reassuring Pep that he didn't do anything wrong. His weapon would probably be a flaming spear or lance. Or a big pizza shovel thing idk.

|| Bildad Era (Land of Uz 2500 BC) ||

Peppino won't tempt Gustavo to eat food, he's too worried about him falling. Since he has trauma from the fall he doesn't want Gus to go through the same thing so he tries to keep him from indulging too much. But Gustavo always wanted to try food. He knows that he won't get into too much trouble for eating food so he risks it.

|| Knight time (Wessex 537 AD) ||

Peppino is basically in the knight transformation, while Gustavo looks kinda like he appears on the Bloodsauce Dungeon title card. He's actually the one suggesting the arrangement, and Pep refuses more out of fear.

|| French Revolution (Paris 1793) ||

Peppino is the one getting captured. Idk why yet. Anyway, it's like Pig City where Gus has to break Pep out. That was my whole thought

|| Grand opening (deleted scene 1809) ||

Peppino opens his pizzeria for the first time. Noise, Vigilante and Doise visit him, congratulating him (begrudgingly) on spreading the Great Plague of Marseille (France 1720). They heard that Peppino was in France somewhere in the 1700s, but didn't fact check any further. He has no idea what's going on. They then tell him to look out cause there's an angel on Earth in the same area, and if he sees them he can just kill them anyway (maybe they make fun of him for being easily scared). Noise says that Da Boss (PH) wants him to come back to Hell and work side by side with him for some reason, he's pissed as hell (pun intended this time)

Meanwhile Gustavo wanted to congratulate Pep on the opening. When he sees the other demons, he hides, but listens in on the whole conversation. Is more careful since Vigilante has very good senses, and Pep doesn't notice him either. He then basically does what Crowley does in that scene, but leaves a little gift for Pep with a note that implies that he made the demons leave. Pep continues not knowing what's going on.

|| Holy water park break up (1862) ||

Peppino asks for holy water just in case of emergencies, but Gustavo refuses. He won't get angry at him, but more worried, so he offers Peppino his angel ring. It functions like a sort of communication device, so Gus would always know when Pep is wearing it. He tells him to put it on when he needs help or someone to talk to. Pep gets pissed, not only because he didn't get the holy water, but also cause he thinks Gus is making fun of him cause of the ring (also maybe he gets a bit flustered). He runs off and throws the ring back at him.

|| War (1941) ||

Peppino somehow became not just part of the mafia, but the boss. He doesn't know how that happened. His outfit will be inspired by Evil Pep. While he does have experience with using guns, it makes him anxious. He remembers when he was forced to kill others, and freezes up when he has to hold a gun. Sometimes smokes a cigar for intimidation purposes, but actually hates smoking, and will have a coughing fit. Goes by Mr. Spaghetti.

Instead of books, Gustavo delivers lab rats. He wanted to rescue them but either the Mafia or Mussolini want to test various nuclear weapons or whatever on them. Idk why. He gets so upset when he realizes the rats were killed by the bomb, but Peppino revives them, even though he hates rats, and gives them back to Gus. Gustavo is officially smitten.

|| 1967 ||

Peppino is for some reason still a mafia boss. Still wants holy water and wants his goons to bring it to him, but Gustavo stops him. He brings him a flask of special Holy Water, and tries again with offering his ring. He adds that he should see it as a reminder that he'll always be there for him when he needs him. Peppino accepts the ring this time. Since it's an angel ring it either burns or itches and he'll get a rash from it, so he wears it around a necklace. From this point on Peppino is seen wearing the ring around his neck, and Gustavo will not have one anymore. He also doesn't replace it. Also i thought maybe Gus appears more feminine here but still with a moustache because yes. I haven't figured out the outfit yet but i think this could be neat.

|| Nanny time ||

Peppino becomes a home tutor instead of a nanny. He's generally nervous around children, and doesn't wanna do or say anything wrong to them. He's afraid that he makes them cry or upset cause then he'll start to panic. Just like me fr.

Gustavo will appear feminine, as a personal cook for the family. He'll have old cartoon granny vibes, a dress with a cutesy lacey apron with hearts on it, long hair in a bun, and big cute oven mitts. Kinda like that one Granny Gnome in Gnome Forest.

|| Angel Disguise ||

During the pizzeria invasion, Peppino goes to Heaven with Ziti and disguises as an angel, wearing his white hoodie and cap with sunglasses. He'll try to be as authentic as possible so he also wears the ring Gus gave him and kinda forgets it gives him a rash (and also that Gus now thinks something's wrong). Then basically the same things happen as in the series, but with the addition of a very worried Gustavo.

While looking for the Clue™, Gustavo will wear an outfit that's kinda like a mix between Aziraphale and The G sugary spire. Also he will drive that Vespa, even if he doesn't have a license. He promises Peppino to keep it safe of course.

Okay that was a lot. I'll update this post whenever i change some characters around. Still need to figure out Dagon and Furfur (and some others from S1), plus Gerome and John. Hopefully I'll get these roles and characters figured out soon :)

[deathmetalunicorn1]

What about the gods (thor, Poseidon, buddha, shiva and hades) with a s/o who usually is the literal live version of " ;-; " emote but one day she just breaks down crying and scratching her arms violently in their room because of all the bottled up emotions

(☞ ᐛ )☞Also a reminder to not bottle up emotions cause it messes you up later

Hope your day is going well (*˙︶˙*)ﾉ

Sensitive Reader

Thank you for your kind words my dear one, and thank you for your patience with this. I am getting better with expressing my emotions after bottling them up for years as I didn’t know how to express them or talk about them easily.

-They knew what they were getting into, dating you, they knew you were a sensitive person, one that could cry very easily.

-You see a butterfly, you’re crying over the beauty, you see people holding hands and he takes your hand, you’re crying, you watch Homeward Bound by yourself because nobody else wants to watch it with you (this is me L), you’re ugly crying.

-Be it happy, sad, or mad, you can cry very easily, and they know this, but unlike previous lovers, they are at least understanding and try to be accommodating, rather than your exes who told you to grow up or stop being so sensitive (once again me L).

-There wasn’t a day that went by that you didn’t cry for one reason or another, but if he was with you, he was quick to have you wrapped in a cuddly hug.

-There were days however, sometimes you could feel it coming, sometimes it blindsided you, when you would hit a breaking point and having a major meltdown, to the point of hurting yourself, just overwhelmed and hypersensitive about everything around you.

-You didn’t answer his texts or calls, which was a warning that something was wrong, as you always at least answered his texts.

-He let himself into your home and could hear you crying, almost to the point of screaming and sprinted to your room, throwing the door open.

-You didn’t even hear him, curled up on the floor beside your bed, your blanket pooled around your hips, fingers scratching up and down your arms, trying to calm yourself down, but you must have been doing it for a while, as your arms were red and raw, and he could see pinpricks of blood starting to appear.

-You were pale, hardly able to breath, breaths coming in raspy short pants, pupils dilated, heart in your ears, and you felt both cold and hot, as you felt like you were burning up but shivering, all at the same time.

-Poseidon- He lunged quickly, hugging you so he was hunched over you, his head resting on the back of your head. Your cries stuttered as you flinched hard, being shocked out of your dissociative fit, a sharp gasp leaving your lips. You tried to move, your cries quieting but your breathing still harsh, trying to calm down, but he held you tightly, refusing to let you move. Once you were calm enough so he could pick you up, he carried you into the bathroom and sat you on the edge of the tub. He tended to your arms first, before helping you wash your face, he spoke gently, telling you to take deep breaths and that you were okay, no once making you feel like you were being a burden. Once you were cleaned up he wrapped you in your blanket and held you on your bed, hugging you close, stroking your hair, pressing soft kisses into your hair, telling you that he was there for you.

-Buddha- He knew he couldn’t ask rashly else he could scare you which could make you hurt yourself, but he needed you to stop as quickly as possible. He ran to your kitchen and got a cup of ice cubes before returning to your side. He kneeled and down whispered your name, you flinched, looking up at him and quickly put an ice cube to your lips, forcing it into your mouth. The ice shocked your system, giving you not only a sudden cold stimulant, but something in your mouth and giving you water as well. It took two more ice cubes to get you calmed down, but once you were, Buddha turned you into a Y/N-burrito in the biggest blanket you had, as he knew to make you comfortable, just in case if you crashed or went into shock. The whole time he was talking gently to you, kissing your forehead, lulling you to sleep while holding you to his chest, grounding you.

-Shiva- He knows not to panic, having three wives and a potential fourth in you, has given him a lot of experience with things like this, but seeing in you in such a state made him freeze, but only for a moment. Shiva quickly approached you, grabbing the blanket and wrapped it around you slowly, shushing you as you gasped harshly, looking scared as he pulled you out of your fit. He held you to his chest, making good use of his four arms, hugging you to his chest as you broke down, weeping into his chest. He picked you up and laid on your bed with you on his chest, stroking your hair gently, whispering calming words, bringing you down from your high. He wanted to help you get cleaned up, but he decided he would help you with that after a nap, you needed it.

-Hades- He raised three brothers, each one with their own issues and challenges, he’s got this, but just because he knew, doesn’t mean he wasn’t worried to see you in such a state. He hugged you quickly, mainly to grab your hands from causing any more damage, and shushed you gently, stroking your hair and slowly bringing you down. When you started to hiccup that’s when he picked you up and put you on your bed, wrapping you in a big blanket before he went and got a cool, damp washcloth and a cup of ice water, instructing you to slowly sip on it while he dabbed at your forehead, face, and neck, cooling you down. He held you close once you finished your water, telling you how strong you were and that once you rested for a while, you and him would talk about things as he wanted to help you as best he can.

[lisbeth-kk]

December moments

Prompts used in this chapter: Father Christmas - Silent Night - escape

To what lengths are Sherlock willing to go for his beloved John? Can the good doctor really persuade Sherlock to help Lestrade with a tedious case at a shopping centre?

December 19

The case is barely a four, and John knows it. Normally he wouldn’t have even considered asking Sherlock to solve it, but damn it, there are kids involved, and it’s almost Christmas, AND Sherlock has proven that he isn’t the Scrooge he claims to be. The fact that Greg had texted John instead of Sherlock, spoke volumes. DI Greg Lestrade had few hopes that the great detective would even bother replying to his plea, ergo he begged John to reason with him. 

“Lestrade’s got a case for you, or his niece rather” John starts awkwardly. “You’ll probably find it tedious and mundane, but children are…”

To John’s astonishment, Sherlock’s head jerks up from his microscope, his gaze sharp and intense. 

“What about children, John? Pray tell!”

His voice seems urgent which takes John by surprise. 

“Well, Father Christmas failed to appear at Selfridges today and his elf, Greg’s niece, has no clue to where he’s gotten. His family and friends haven’t heard from him, and his phone is left at his flat. The costumer’s service at Selfridges is faced with crying kids and displeased parents in large numbers,” John explains. 

Sherlock sits in his normal thinking position and asks John in quick succession what information they have on the missing Santa. After pondering John’s retort, Sherlock decides to go to Selfridges and question Lorna the elf. 

“Why do you want to take this case, Sherlock?” John asks curiously when they’re seated in the cab. 

“Because I don’t want any child to be disappointed like that. I experienced it myself when I was five…”

Sherlock trails off and doesn’t explain further, but the sad look in his eyes, makes John’s heart ache. John takes Sherlock’s hand and squeezes it, which earns him a soft smile, but Sherlock’s too lost in his own mind to give John more attention than that, which by the way is plenty for John. 

***

When they enter Selfridges, Silent Night is playing, and it really doesn’t fit with either man’s mood. It’s too serene for the conundrum they’re here for. 

Sherlock’s unusually gentle with Lorna, who’s in shambles. She proves to be the lost Father Christmas’ girlfriend. 

“I texted him this morning. We were supposed to meet here at half past one. Nothing seemed amiss with his message. I really don’t understand…” Lorna says before she breaks down crying. 

“Let me see your phone,” Sherlock requests softly. 

He mutters something unintelligible under his breath when he scrolls through Lorna’s text history with Cory the Santa. 

“Anything suspicious?” John asks silently. 

Sherlock shows him a text from the week before where Cory mentions a Marion Wesley, apparently a former colleague who’s started stalking him again. When Sherlock asks Lorna about it, she looks shocked. 

“Do you think she can be responsible?” Sherlock prompts. 

In the background there are angry and accusatory voices to be heard from irked parents and whining children. The cacophony is suddenly overwhelming, and John can feel the tension building in his partner. They need to escape this room and get somewhere quieter before Sherlock combusts all over the establishment. 

John gestures to Greg, who immediately understands and asks them to come into a secluded staff room around the corner. While they walk, Sherlock taps furiously at his phone, and mere minutes after scrolling the Internet or perhaps the dark web for all John knows, his face lights up. 

“Got you!” he exclaims and beams at John. 

Half an hour later, Cory is found in Marion Wesley’s cellar, only slightly dehydrated but fit for facing the queue of children at Selfridges. 

“What a hero,” John murmurs when he and Sherlock watches him in action as an indulgent Santa. 

“Indeed,” Sherlock agrees. 

John moves closer to Sherlock, wraps an arm around his waist and leans in to whisper his praise. Brilliant. Amazing. Sherlock leans against John utterly satisfied with all of it. Having witnessed how quickly the atmosphere changed as soon as Father Christmas and his elf appeared, almost felt like being a part of one of those horrible American Christmas films his mother adores. 

When they walk to the exit, Silent Night plays again, and this time it fits perfectly. 

Read it on AO3

@totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @a-victorian-girl @phoenix27884 @safedistancefrombeingsmart @sabsi221b @gregorovitchworld @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @helloliriels @raina-at

[extratrrestrial]

TYPEFACES I THINK THE MOBSAI MAIN CAST WOULD USE

Decided to be insane and come up with some headcanons on the typefaces each character would use. Please shout at me about it on the psychohelmet forum if you get the chance. I've copied and pasted the headcanons under the read more for your viewing pleasure.

I wanted to share my headcanons for the different fonts (using this term very generally) each of the mobsai main cast would use (if we are imagining that they were given free rein to do so for some reason, and also that they wrote using a latin alphabet, obviously) which I just made up off the top of my head right now.

Anyway, here we go:

Mob - Calibri

I think this one makes a lot of sense, just off the bat. I really don't think Mob would be a serif sort of guy, he's too plain and unassuming for that. What better than to make him a very default font. I honestly don't think you can even get more default than calibri. It even sounds a little lame when you say it. Despite that, it's a pretty dependable font, it appears everywhere, and I would argue is very powerful due to its universality and legibility on any-sized devices. But don't just take my word for it, here's what Microsoft has to say about it: "Its proportions allow high impact in tightly set lines of big and small text alike. Calibri’s many curves and the new rasteriser team up in bigger sizes to reveal a warm and soft character." I would argue that this clearly reflects Mob's welcoming character and desire to understand and empathise with any number of characters within the show.

Reigen - Arial

Again, I do feel like this just makes sense to me. Reigen is also a real sans-serif sort of guy, he's the greatest psychic of the 21st century, he's spice city's bro! Arial I feel is also a little more professional than calibri, while still being quite similar in appearance, which I feel reflects the influence Reigen has over Mob's character and development within the story. Described by Microsoft as an "extremely versatile" typeface, especially "for display use in newspapers, advertising and promotions", I think this works well for Reigen's character. It's also a pretty dyslexia friendly font, which I think would be a fun fact he'd shoot at Mob.

Dimple - Papyrus

This one was a little tricky. I wanted it to look dated, considering Dimple's been dead for some time, while also being a little flashy to reflect his desires for godhood. I settled on papyrus because, well, look at it. It's definitely what I'd consider a meme typeface (which I think is fitting for a sentient fart, honestly), but it's also loud without being too out there, and a popular and fun font to use. It's unapologetic and real, which I think Dimple represents as a character, and the complete opposite of a font like calibri. It also looks good in green.

Ritsu - Times New Roman

Ritsu is absolutely a serif guy, through and through. He's always on that 12pt Times New Roman shit, even if he's just writing a casual email to someone. Ritsu is someone who takes things seriously, and has a reputation he wants/needs to uphold. I'm sure he read somewhere that TNR (I'm not writing that shit out again) was the professional font and just made it his whole personality or something. It looks good, so I'm not complaining. I've also heard that TNR is a good font to make study notes in, because you remember it better (I think this was a myth uni students used to tell each other though) but I'm sure he stands behind this fact wholeheartedly.

Teru - Blackadder ITC

Just listen to what Microsoft has to say here in its overview of this font: "Blackadder ITC font is an elegant, yet menacing display face is perfect for theatrical uses and scare tactics." Not only is it elegant and swirly, but works well with his flashy appearances and fashion choices throughout the show. It's impressive and makes a scene when it appears, and walks the line between impressive and gaudy very well for someone as in-TERU-sting as Hanazawa. I do think he'd switch around fonts a little, but this would be his favourite for sure.

Serizawa - Roboto

This one was also hard, and I'm not sure I did him justice. I think, given Serizawa's lack of real-life experience outside of a terrorist organisation as well as his time online, I wanted to go with a font that was professionally acceptable, but still a bit of an outlier. Roboto is also the default font on android devices, and all other google services, which I figured would reflect the 'shut in' phase of his life. It's sorta plain, but does the job and follows the rules without asking too many questions. I think if we were talking specifics, he'd be Roboto Mono.

Tome - Courier New

I need to preface this explanation by saying I love Tome. More than almost all of the characters in this show. She reminds me a lot of myself as a kid. This one's personal. Tome is obsessed with proving the existence of aliens, or any sort of extraterrestrial and paranormal activity. She starts the Telepathy club to research these phenomena, she's absolutely committed (apart from in that one episode) to show the world she's right, to have her friends take her interests seriously. I think she'd want to use a font that was interesting to look at, while still being serious-enough to reflect her passion for pursuing the truth. She probably watched the X-Files as a kid and really wanted to type up some legit-looking reports on the unexplained. No I'm not projecting.

Shou - Comic Sans MS

I mean, what did you expect. He uses Comic Sans for all his reports and thinks he's the funniest guy ever for doing so. He also just likes how it looks, I think he'd be into superhero comics and would love to make any work he does look similar. Not only is it a funny text face, Microsoft also calls it "useful" due to its readability. I think that definitely mirrors Shou's extraversion and his role as a helpful figure, both to Ritsu and to his father at the conclusion of his arc. I also bet he logs on to Toichiro's desktop sometimes and changes his default email font to comic sans too, probably makes the fantastic five or whatever they're called piss themselves with laughter. Also a frequent Wingdings user, for sure.

Toichiro - Futura

Guess I have to put him in here too, since I talked about Shou. I chose Futura here for what it stands for, a purely geometric and efficient typeface which I feel reflects Suzuki's ethos of wanting to be the best and creating a world where 'supreme beings' rule over normal humans. The progressive feel Futura has here becomes skewed, not towards a bright future but towards a descruction of the old order and a rebuilding of an ESPer-led world. An incredibly popular font, which I feel is all about appearances and precision, it wants its letters to stand in line, breaking away from the old 'grotesque' style of former sans-serif fonts. Do you see my vision?

Sample of their fonts below: