#and the sweetest most gentle person on the fucking planet who already has to deal with getting sexualized by everyone else

[uranium]

running into a brick wall at full speed and giving myself permanent brain damage because me and my crush feels exactly like beastars legoshi and haru and i need to blow myself up badly

[stormecloudyy-blog]

Amor Proibido viii

Well, here is part 8. I was having some problems because I did not want this to turn to shit. I have poured my heart and soul into this series so far... so I hope you like this part since it is probably what I have been building up to since I had the idea.

But the planets all aligned When you looked into my eyes And just like that The chemicals react - Aly and AJ

And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness But darling don't you know that I'm the only one for ya? -Shawn Mendes

The declaration of love causes the next big commotion to break out. Landon seems to have forgotten his nose is still bleeding and he backs up for a moment before he takes a full running leap at Shawn. He pushes his entire weight, causing Shawn to take a few steps back and stumble catch his balance.

“You fucking asshole!” Landon screams, pulling his fist back ready to hit Shawn in the face. “You fucking think you can come here on the most important day of my life and take away my fiance? I am not going to let some fucking little ass boy try and take away the bitch I have invested so much fucking time into. This is my fucking fiancee. She belongs to me, and I am not going to let you fuck up the shit I have worked for.”

His words catch me off guard, the utter venom and contempt pouring from each locution falling from his lip. His eyes are so dark, and he seems completely foreign from the man I thought I was going to be marrying. Landon has constantly be very self absorbed, but I have never heard such horrible utterances before. 

Shawn reaches down since he has the height on Landon, grabbing his fist and twisting it around so he pushes Landon’s arm behind his back. His face turns red from the pressure he is exerting on Landon as he pushes back. “What the fuck did you call her?”

I walk over to the pair of them and try to get between them. “Both of you need to stop this. Everyone...” I gesture at every single person in the room staring at us, my family, friends, and co workers, just gaping open mouthed at this spectacle unfolding like we are living some fucked up soap opera. Okay, just me living it but still. “...is staring and this is not the way to handle this. We are adults, and we can have a nice conversation about this in private. Obviously this is not going to end the way we all thought it would, but we need to-”

Before I can finish speaking, Landon has gotten free from Shawn and gets right into my face. He smirks at me with the most contempt I have ever seen and hits me across the face with an open hand, causing my head to spin to the side for a moment. I cry out, placing my own hand on the red spot and trying to stop the tears from falling. Anger and embarassment flow through me. Landon has been intense with me at times, but never to the point where he would hit me in front of all of these people.

Thomas and Elena step in, my aunt completely freaking out because Landon hit me. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” she screams, looking at Landon before she pulls me against her and looks at my face to assess the damage. “You are the ugliest, nastiest person I have ever met. I warned Autumn to not marry you and now I can see why especially. You only know how to utilize ugly words and wreak havoc everywhere you go.”

Shawn is looking at me, like he wants to say something. He is just standing there, seemingly shocked and angry by Landon’s behavior. I can see him taking deep breaths so he doesn’t hit him again.

Thomas is apologizing profusely to everyone, acting like they are not whispering and staring open mouthed at all of the drama. He says, “We are dealing with some family problems at the time, so if you would all just step outside so they can have some privacy, there is plenty food and beverage for everyone to enjoy outside in the yard. We even have some great music lined up. Please everyone follow me,” he says with a dramatic flourish, thrusting open the doors to the patio and guiding everyone outside. He closes the door behind him with a click.

Elena holds up a hold before anyone else can speak. She looks at me then at Landon before stopping on Shawn. “You sure know how to walk into someone’s home and make an impression, Shawn.” He tries to speak, but she holds up her hand once more. “None of this is any of my business in a manner of speaking. Autumn is a grown woman. But you need to know you should probably handle your declarations of love a little bit more... carefully.” Her eyes bore daggers into Landon. “You... you need to get the hell out of my home. You will not disrespect Autumn ever again. I have dealt with you for long enough. I don’t give a flying shit about your broken nose. It is not my problem. Get out before I call the police and file charges on you for hitting Autumn.” She literally pushes Landon out of the door, slamming it in his face.

��And you...” she points at me. “Grow the fuck up. Clean up this mess and make sure you know what you are doing. I want you to be happy, but you circumnavigate your choices poorly.” She examines my face, feeling all red and swollen. “Make sure you put some ice on that.” She kisses my forehead before leaving me alone with Shawn.

Shawn steps close to me, placing his hand on my chin and looking at my face. He frowns, placing fingers tentatively against the area where Landon hit me. “I am really sorry he hit you. I didn’t mean to cause your fiance to...” he trails off, not sure what to say. 

I burst out laughing, not sure how else to handle the flurry of emotion going through me. I am ready to cry and scream, also kind of scared what is going to happen when I have to go home to get all of my stuff. The laughing sounds crazy and deranged, like I have lost mind. Which I clearly have since I am not married and Shawn is standing here. 

Shawn’s eyes widen, not sure how to react to me at all. He just stares at me for a long moment... eyes stopping when he sees the necklace resting around the my neck. “Autumn...?” he questions, fingers reaching out and gently touching the charm.

“Hey, you,” I say with a small smile. “I was wondering if you were actually going to show up like you said you would.”

“I told you I was going to be here,” He replies with the sweetest smile, despite the issues going on. “The press is going to have a field day with  this, you know?” He reaches down to press his fingers along my collar bone and smirks at me.

“Everyone already knows about us, just so you know,” I retort, taking his hand and kissing his fingers one by one. I need to know he is real and isn’t going anywhere. My emotions are all over the place and I need something to calm me down.

He widens his eyes in mock horror and shakes his head at the very thought. “There is no way anyone knows about us, Autumn. No one would ever post any of this online at all. Not even the girl who was filming on her phone.” He leans over and kisses me gently, his lips lingering against mine as though he is still trying to accept he is really here and that he actually stopped my wedding like we are in some fake ass movie. 

“Why are you so against there being an us?” Shawn questions me after kissing me once more. He reaches over and pulls me closer to him, circling his hands around my waist.

“Because you know the reasons, and I am not going to mention them right now,” I reply automatically, knowing there is nothing stand between us but still hesitant to just jump into something with Shawn right away.

“You know how I feel about the subject, and I am not going to let it go until you finally give it some kind of acknowledgement,” he sighs and gives me his best smile. He knows I am going to just give into him because he knows how to get under my skin, but it doesn’t mean I want to deal with the consequences right this minute.

I move closer to him and press my head against his chest. “This is a lot to deal with it, believe it or not. You literally just sabotaged my wedding.”

The moment I finish speaking, Shawn closes the space between our lips and kisses me with all of the force he had been holding back. Our mouths collide beautifully, his lips knowing just the right path to follow and how to get his tongue to probe against mine to elicit those sweet little moans I can’t help every time he kisses me like that. His hands slide up my shoulders and into her hair, tangling through it gently and deepening the kiss even more.

I suppress  in the moans the best  I can, but some still managed to fall from my lips. His tongue brushes along the bottom of my lip, followed by a gentle nibbling of his teeth. Without really thinking, I stand up and pull him along with me towards the upstairs of the house so we can be completely alone, away from all those people I see trying to peek through the window. Including my cousin still filming and snapping photos on her phone.

“Are you sure?” he murmurs against my lips, wanting to check if this was really what I want.

I stare up at him with an incredulous look, almost wanting to smack him for asking such a question. I just nod my consent and guide him towards the bathroom, keeping my ears open to make sure there are no sounds minus us. Shawn does the same, eagerly leading me into the bathroom and slamming the door close and locking the door with a flourish. 

My heart hammers in my chest as I  keep my gaze on him, not wanting to let on I am actually kind of nervous about what is going to happen.We have had sex before, but this is another level. He just came here and stopped my wedding. My entire family is downstairs waiting to see what is going to happen, and I am locked inside the bathroom of my childhood home with Shawn Mendes. He steps closer to me, placing his lips on me and brushing his fingers along the top of the dress where my chest peeks out just slightly. With a devilish grin, he reaches down and rips the fabric so I am standing there with the dress coming off my chest, exposing I wasn’t wearing a bra underneath. I let out a laugh as his eyes widen at the sight, never growing tired of how appreciative he seems every time he sees me unclothed. 

“You are beautiful,” he tells me with a smile, his hands snaking to my waist and tearing off the rest of the dress so it is just a fluff pile at our feet. His hands cup over my breasts appreciatively for a moment before he follows suit, taking off his charcoal colored button down and tossing onto the growing pile of garments at our feet. I grin at his perfectly toned body, recalling the way it feels to run my fingers over those perfectly chiseled muscles as I had done many times before. He spins me around so I am looking up at him, his face plastered with the most cheesy grin I have ever seen. 

“Are you going to heal the ache of jet lag I am suffering from?” he teases, his voice deep with want.

Nodding with vigor, I place my hands on the waist of his jeans and pulled them down quickly. He takes off the rest of his clothes and tosses them with my ruined dress, hands never leaving my body as I turn on the shower and wait for the water to be just right. Once it seems like it won’t be too cold or scalding, I pull him in with me and kiss him beneath the jet of the water. I can’t stop smiling and pressing my lips against his. Just Shawn actually being here is more than I can even have hoped for when I woke up this morning. 

He slides an arm down to my hip and turns my around so he is backed against the wall while I stand in front of him. Pleased with himself, he begins to trail kisses down my neck and along my collarbone. His lips are gentle and know very well what they are doing, stopping to press featmy light kisses along my neck while nipping at the skin along my collarbone to leave marks. He keeps whispering about how much he wants my, reassuring my that I was always going to be the one he wanted more than some random plethora of pussy.

I roll my hips against his, skin glistening with water beads as I try to make him ache for me. Pressing myself against his member, I can feel him grow harder just from the brief contact of skin. It makes me even happier to know I can have such an impact over the infamous Shawn Mendes.

“Yes, oh my god…” he moans, growing harder as I slowly pumped my hand up and down his length. I keep my grip gentle but firm, increasing the pace to gauge more of a reaction from him.

I keep the pace steady, watching the way his eyes closed in pleasure from just my touch. Wanting to give him more, I am ready to drop down to my knees when he stops me. Shawn takes my hand away, instead snaking his own between my thighs and slipping two digits inside of my wet folds. He just slides them in and out for a minute to get me wetter before moving his thumb up to circle my clit, causing the sensitive flesh to swell even more. I bite my lip to hold in the screams, knowing it would get us caught if I dared to be too loud. Shawn continues his ministrations but also adjusted himself so he was standing behind me, fingering me to the point where I believe I am  going to just completely lose myself before he had even entered me.

“Bend over and hands against the wall,” he whispers against my neck breathily, removing his fingers one by one and slowing his thumb over my clit. I do as I am told, placing my palms firmly against the wall of the shower and bending over so I am completely exposed to him. Shawn’s  one hand firmly grips my waist while the other spread my legs a little wider. When he seems content with my position, he grips his length in his head and teased my entrance momentarily before slamming into me. “Good girl,” he coos.

“Holy...oh…” I whimper, still not used to his size after all of the times we have been together.

“You like that?”

“I do, yes...please...more,” I plead, wanting to feel him thrusting inside of me.

He rolls his hips against mine, letting my walls adjust to his length inside of me. I can feel how tight I am around him, but I still want all of him. After waiting a few moments, he places the rest of his girth inside of me and began to thrust. He starts out slow at first, rocking his hips against my own before deciding to quicken the movements.

He lets out a few curse words before finding his rhythm, moving quickly and efficiently to get deep inside. His long fingers trail along my waist and settle at my hips, holding tightly to keep me against him.

I hold onto the wall, pressing back against him to create more friction. “That feels...holy fucking god!” I cry out as he found the right spot, causing my to be unable to contain myself much longer.

“Be quiet!” he hisses at me, smacking my ass to try and keep my silent.

“But Shawn...I..” I scream again as he hit the spot, my eyes closing in pure pleasure and wanting to feel more of what he had to offer.

He stops thrusting and pulled out of me, spinning me around to look into my eyes. “I told you to shut up,” he admonishes in a low tone before pressing his lips against mine and pressing me back against the wall.

I stare at him, not sure what he is going to do when he lifted me with ease and entered me again, resuming the rocking of his hips as though it had not been momentarily interrupted by my inability to keep quiet. He moves faster and goes deeper, his eyes closed in concentration.

“I think I am going to cum,” he tells me, his movements growing messier as he inches closer to reaching his peak. I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him to get even deeper. He slams his hips against mine, finishing with a moan and my name on his lips. Taking a moment to ride out his orgasm, he pulls out  and drops to his knees.

He places a hand on my ass to move me closer and spreads my thighs to allow him full access. With one hand gripping my hips and the other against my mouth to muffle my screams, Shawn hovers over my clit before licking and sucking roughly to help my reach my own peak. His tongue swirls around my clit, moving at various speeds.

I bite down on his fingers, doing my best to contain the moans threatening to emerge. His hand stays cupped around my mouth as he continued to use his mouth on me, never stopping the pace. He nibbles my clit and licks it gingerly, causing me to finally be able to feel the release in my walls. I let out a moan against his hand, feeling myself give into the pleasure as he eagerly licked it all up. I fall back against the wall, trying to catch my breath as he stands and licks his lips with the most deviant look in his eyes.

“Not bad,” he chuckles and turns down the water so it was just a light stream falling over us. I just stared at him with wide eyes, running my fingers through my damp hair and try to find the words to explain what had just gone down. I can feel my knees still shaking and the area between my legs was sore, but I was also feeling quite euphoric at the same time. It never fails to astound me the way Shawn can have such a variety of impacts on me  just from the physicality of our relationship alone.

Rolling my eyes after I had managed to regain my composure for the most part, I reply, “I have had better.” It was a lie, but I didn’t want to boost his ego too much.

His face falls as he places a hand over his mouth to look at me, not speaking for a few moments. “You don’t mean that,” he informs me in hurt tone. “You just say things like  that to push me away.”

I shrug my shoulders as though my heart wasn’t breaking at his words. “Whatever makes you feel better, Mendes.”

He takes his hand away from his mouth and really looked at me,“Stop this bullshit already.” He lifts my chin with his hand and stepped closer.

“I am not doing anything.” I refuse to look him in the eye.

He sighed and kissed my gently. “Why do you have to make everything so damn difficult, woman?”

“I don’t do that either.”

“Yes, you do. But I love you anyway.” He grins at me.

I hold my breath. “You ruined my wedding dress.”

“Good thing you aren’t getting married, then, isn’t it?”

Everyone has gone home. The ruined wedding dress sits pushed in the corner of the bathroom, an eyebrow raise from my aunt stating she will not be asking me any type of probing questions about how the dress ended up in tatters and why the bathroom was all steamy when she came inside to see what was going on. The pile of wedding gifts will have to be returned. Some of the food was sent home as leftovers, and the rest Shawn has been eating since he told me he won’t be leaving until he convinces me I should come spend some time with him in Toronto. 

He picks up a fork and sticks it in the wedding cake. He takes a bite before saying, “I am not saying you have to quit your job. What would you do all day then? Never did I say give up your whole life for me. All I said was that I will not go back until you agree to come stay for a few days. I am sure your boss will give you off work once you tell him of the trauma you suffered at the hands of Landon.” He makes a face at mentioning the name. “And then you can just come see the city and then go back to work. That is literally how long distance relationships function, Autumn.”

I roll my eyes at him for the hundredth time. “We are not in a relationship, Shawn. We are not anything. You just showed up at my house and stopped my wedding and now you want to make all of these plans like this is the most normal thing in the world. There is a lot of fucked up shit that just went down. Do you not realize what would happen if I just decided to say fuck it all and be with you? Do you?!” I demand, placing my hands on the table to emphasize my point. “You would be seen as the guy who managed to snag an older woman and you would be applauded. I am going to be called a slut the world around because I cheated on my fiance with you, and then you showed up to stop my wedding. I am always going to seen as the villain in this story arc. No matter what.”

He snorts. “The more you deny it, the longer I am going to tell you we are. And who cares what anyone else thinks. You and I are adults. I love you. You love me. I get this whole thing is pretty fucked up, but at least we are going to be happy. Just like I told you when we met, all I want to do is be happy like everyone else. I don’t give a fuck about anything else. I am not perfect and neither are you. But I want to make this work. Because I want you.” He takes another bite of cake. “And I vote we do not get this kind of cake when we get married, it tastes kind of stale and too sweet.”

Incredulous, I stare at him as I try to process the words that just came out of his mouth. I don’t even respond. I just stare at him for a moment before I look over at the clock on the wall. “It is getting late, and there is no way I am going to be able to go home tonight to get the rest of my stuff. So is there anyway you would mind if I just maybe... like stayed with you in Toronto for a few days until the drama dies down?”

Shawn grins at me, standing up to walk over and pull me into his arms. “I would be okay if you stayed with me forever, Autumn.”

He presses his lips against mine in the most perfect kiss.

“I love you, Shawn Mendes... even if you are just a famous kid singer...” I tease.

“I love you too. You are the happiness I have been searching for.”

I kiss him back, never wanting to allow my heart to belong to anyone else but Shawn.

So this is what happiness feels like.