#and the show has gone at brainiac in a very interesting angle to the point i'm not even sure they'll touch on the whole Bottling Worlds
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Weightless, Kara coasted across the stratosphere of a broken world. Static still bristled at the corners of her vision, enough that even from far above, there were pockets she wasn't able to decipher past the fog. With a gasp, she burst forward with unmitigated strength, throwing herself into orbit.
Up and up she flew until, finally, she settled somewhere that direction no longer mattered - cradled by the infinite lull of the universe.
And yet the pain still found her. The memories. Flashes of blood and death and destruction. A blaring heat at the back of her mind, ringing in her ears until the pressure was too much to bear. A blast of raw energy that had erupted from her eyes, blown to astronomical scale by the technology Father had designed just for her.
Destroyed. How could they all be… gone? How was that possible? How had she… how could she…?
Legs curled tight to her chest, Kara felt no more than a child held static by the void. The same child who had been marched up and down Kandor’s vast hallways for years on end; measuring her strength, her speed, her dexterity through rigorous training cycles led by the holographic foes that had been pasted to the indistinguishable bodies of Father’s Primus drones. Her mind, of course, had been exercised to the same extreme – a most powerful tool, Father had praised. Encouraged by his enthusiasm, she had read from data crystals at his console for hours at a time, covering endless topics in both theory and practice until he had decided she was finally ready for her most important lesson.
Of the worlds soon to be welcomed by the New Kryptonian Empire.
Kara pressed her palms against her eyes, forcing herself into those softer memories.
She’d learnt first of Thanagar – how to speak in their crude tongue, or to fly in the same undulating method as though guided along by a set of her own burly wings. It was less dignified than the freedom of movement a Kryptonian had against gravity, and yet Kara had revelled in its exciting and unpredictable nature, the way it would make her stomach flip with every sudden dive or sharp swoop. She had laughed loudly alongside other Thanagarians, joining them on migrations, watching on as they had welcomed technological advancement alongside their centuries-old traditions. She had sat down with Thanagarian elders, staring transfixed as they had whittled figures of their Wingmen from great trunks – an order held in high esteem, expected to police a world that had once prevailed without the need for such intervention.
They struggle, Father had told her, to find order. Their construct is failing, their ideals… inefficient. The Kryptonian Empire would bring them the perfect order that they crave.
Kara’s eyes widened behind her hands, that same numbness from before creeping back into her mind. Placating her. Assuring her…
Their planet had been beautiful. She had found joy there… high up in the sky along with the other children.
Children.
Kara squirmed against the void, a whimper lodging itself deep inside her throat.
Soft memory. The planet was mesmerising, with vast cities, limitless oceans and stone perches set high into the sky to witness the most tranquil sunsets. Statues stood tall out in open water, meticulously crafted by sculptors over years, their chisels held steady against the hefty beat of their wings.
And on the ground, beneath the ocean floor, caves had stretched for miles, whistling their own tunes, smelling of salt water and…
Flush with Nth metal deposits, Father had informed her once with a grounding hand. A long time ago. Going to waste on limited minds undeserving of its uses! Seize the planet for the Empire, Daughter, and strengthen our own resources in the process.
She had demolished senselessly for… for resources?
No. No. That couldn’t be it. That wasn’t true.
Soft memory. What of Euphorix? A matriarchal society, Kara remembered, one that had welcomed her with open arms. Father had not joined her there. She had been free, for a time. The Euphorians had not been in need of a new order as he had described. They’d had their own already.
And Kara… desperate for a planet to call her home, had nearly fallen for their…
False ideology.
She cringed, burying herself further away.
They will welcome you without question. The perfect unsuspecting ally. An alien with much to learn. But you will learn of them, using the powers they do not possess; study their battle strategies, their vulnerabilities. Find out everything you can about them and exploit it. Do this, Daughter, and the New Empire will be forever in your debt.
Kara shuddered. The Empire, of course, she had done it all for the…
H’lven had been next. A juvenile planet made of half-breeds, rodents who had evolved similarly to how apes had on Earth. Kara had found their easy way of life hypnotic, a simpler means to exist. She had studied their rituals as instructed, their holidays and their hibernation periods. Although, Father had been most intrigued by the latter…
Take their world while they sleep. Ensure no resistance.
Tears rolled down Kara’s cheeks and she clenched her fists harder against her face, shaking her head until her skin was raw against her knuckles. She had learnt their languages, their politics, their battles won and lost. Their tactical advantages, their disadvantages. Everything that might make them susceptible to attack.
All of it locked away behind false memories, or perhaps, distorted ones. Just like the wall on Thanagar, the glyphs carved into every planet face they had invaded. A mural immortalising the Kryptonian trickster who had lived among them before raining fire down from the sky.
Every planet, shy of one.
Kara gasped shakily, folding even tighter into herself.
Earth had been an outlier. Father had instructed her not to stray from her directive – all would come together in time. But she had been… impatient, more-so than with other planets. For this one had called to her, not to Father, to her. A message filtered through space, from one who called himself… Kal.
Hello. Uh, Kara… I don’t know if this will work, but if you’re out there and you get this message, I’m tired of being alone. I thought you might be too. Your cousin, Kal-El
The language had been strange to her ears at first, and while Father’s translation technology had made the words decipherable, she’d wanted to hear it for herself, in the language it had been intended for.
Earth. Not part of their plan – not yet - but English was one of the many languages stored in Father’s databanks. There must have been reason for that.
And so, Kara had sat with the Primus drones for days, speaking back the chaotic language that was English consonant by consonant until she had achieved fluency, the common vernacular. She’d needed to ascertain that there was no doubt for mistranslation, the message was too important to misinterpret.
Especially that word, the one this Kal-El had used as his sign-off.
And when she was certain, Kara had cried tears of joy for the first and only time that she could recall.
Cousin had meant family.
Thinking back, she wasn’t sure why she’d kept this from Father for so long. After all, would he not have been overjoyed to learn of another Kryptonian’s survival? To add to the ranks that they were sorely lacking?
He would. He will.
Then why? Why wait? Perhaps she had feared exactly what had happened. That even with the knowledge of another Kryptonian, a blood relation, he had still forbidden her from straying from their plan. The new Kryptonian was interesting, and he would prove an indisputable ally, but only when the time was right. And only when they arrived on Earth together.
You must learn from your mistakes, Daughter.
Kara nearly scoffed at the echo of Father’s words. Mistakes? How was she to know what mistakes had been made when they were locked behind a wall of static within her own mind? She had been instructed to embody the planets that they conquered, to take from them their tongue, their beliefs, their strategies, all to determine exactly how she might bring their downfall most efficiently. A Kryptonian was strong, but Father had wanted more from her. Power was not just in one’s physical traits, after all.
The perfect weapon must be astute both in mind and body. Kara, my daughter, you will be the essence of our Empire.
But how was she meant to embody a world without falling in love with it? The Thanagarians and their art, the Euphorians and their wisdom, the H’lvenites and their innocence. They were ideals she had fallen for, ideals she had been punished for daring to emulate.
A test of your loyalty, Daughter, Father had told her once, when the fog had again cleared intermittently from her mind. So that I know your will is unwavering and your allegiance to the Empire is without question. These are all… necessary extractions.
Kara’s chest caught suddenly, and the tears on her face rolled in globules out across the star-lit void.
That word. Extractions. She wondered suddenly if she was remembering it correctly.
But with everything she couldn’t grasp, the pieces she could only felt clearer for it. That memory was without fog. It was unmuted. Bold.
Father would have punished her for her keepsakes. For the recipe book she’d been gifted on Euphorix, the statue the elders on Thanagar had crafted just for her. He had believed her obsessions childish and inappropriate. Not fit for a warrior. But… Father had not been speaking of her small treasures, then. They were mere tokens, not extractions. And… if her memory was correct, he wouldn’t yet have known about them at all.
Kara wiped her eyes harshly, staring down at the broken planet beneath her, the stuttered clouds that swirled overhead, raining ash onto an empty world.
From this high up, she couldn’t see the elements of her destruction that had ravaged the planet, and yet in her heart she knew that a great deal was gone.
More than that. Because, as her eyes started to scan, slicing through the fog, she realised that it wasn’t just the city structures or coveted resources that had been eradicated.
Something else was missing.
More static. More deceptions.
Kara had knelt in the ruins of Thanalder, she had felt the rubble of the planet’s largest city beneath her knees, recognising the scorch marks on the stone as her own deadly assault. That had been real. She’d been so ashamed, so disgusted, that she’d sent herself reeling into the sky. There was only so much that could have been seen from ground level, anyway.
Now, though, she had the perfect vantage to see it all.
As much as it hurt, she forced herself to keep looking beyond the fog, to see past her soft memory. The static hadn’t yet receded completely, and there were still pieces hidden from her, obscured in pockets of lost time.
She scratched at the surface of that memory, focusing harder and harder until her skull ached with every rock upturned. No longer did she lie foetal and numb in the darkness, no longer would she allow Father to dismantle her memory for his own gain. He had taken more from her than she had ever known and… and more still from the planets they had conquered.
When the static finally cleared, a chasm opened somewhere inside of Kara’s heart, mimicking that of the city-sized craters she could now see carved from the planet’s surface, left to sully the landscape below.
A shudder passed down her spine as she kept staring, willing herself to understand.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, something Kal-El had said to her struck again so suddenly, she nearly choked.
Are all the planets in the New Kryptonian Empire like this?
He had been right to question it, Kara realised dully. Father had promised her an Empire, a new Krypton that she’d be old enough to protect this time around. But… who was left here to protect? What had Father taken?
Keepsakes. Like hers.
Just, on a much grander scale.
Fury clogged her throat, then grief, then an unbearable agony.
Hypocrite! her mind screamed.
Father had let her fall in love with planet after planet, given her that freedom, only to take it away every time he’d obscured her mind. And, when she woke, the things she had loved were gone. A token in their place.
But what of Father’s tokens, what of Father’s cities? They weren’t hidden in shame behind a wall. They were proud markers of conquest. Trophies. Displayed, somehow…
How could he have them on display?
But Kara’s memories didn’t lie, not any longer, and she remembered the spires of the lost cities of Thanagar, Euphorix’s capitol of Aesad, and the densely populated forests on H’lven. Neatly tucked together beneath ornamental glass domes…
Kara shook her head. It didn’t matter. It couldn't. They were gone because of him. They were gone because of her…
How long until Father pitted Earth just as he had the others? What city might he spare for his collection, his Empire?
Kara thought at once of Jimmy Flamebird’s face, the kindness and honesty he had offered her, and remembered the feel of his hand in her own. A frail, human hand, not even capable of bending steel, but he had extended it to her just the same.
What would happen to him now? The planet she had barely made time for in her haste to visit alone. There was still so much to learn from it, but Father’s crystals would offer her no insight now. He would only fog her mind again. If she returned to him now, if he learned of her defiance, everything she had discovered would be lost to her.
Even without a gravitational force, Kara felt something solid ball inside her stomach, pulling her down from the navel.
She couldn’t go back. She couldn’t go forward, either. She was… alone.
As she curled back in on herself, desperate to drive her demons away, she didn’t think she’d ever felt this small. “Kal-El?” she asked the void, picturing his face in the spaces between broken memory. When that failed, her voice faltered. “Clark?”
Kara didn’t expect an answer when she whispered, “What do I do now?”
[also on AO3]
#my adventures with superman#maws#maws fanfiction#kara zor el#supergirl#clark kent#brainiac#fanfiction#my writing#okay we're posting something a bit different tonight#i had this idea in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone until i wrote it#and the show has gone at brainiac in a very interesting angle to the point i'm not even sure they'll touch on the whole Bottling Worlds#thing. but it's like one of my favourite supervillain moves ever so like. i decided to throw that in for this introspection piece#enjoy!
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Brian May Exclusive Enterview: Queen, Debauchery and Freddie Mercury (May 21, 2017)
Originally from The Times (which you have to pay to read) but found on SpearHead News (who republished the whole thing for free and I love them for it). Not sure if people had seen it much before but Rock Dad Brian May is v sweet, and the spearhead link has images attached.
Tragedy, debauchery … and dwarves — the guitarist Brian May gives Krissi Murison an access-all-areas account of his life with Freddie Mercury and rock’s most flamboyant band. by The Sunday Times
Brian May does a great Freddie Mercury impression. He leans forward in his chair, clasps his hands together conspiratorially and channels the high-speed, staccato delivery of the greatest showman of the late 20th century: “ ‘I had an idea … you know Michael Jackson did this album and it’s called Bad?’ Yeah, Fred. ‘Well, the album we’re making, we could call it Good.’ ”
May laughs. “He would always knock you sideways. Sometimes it was great and sometimes it wasn’t.”
The visitors to Freddie’s dressing room started to change from hot chicks to hot men. It didn’t matter to us — why should it?
May, the guitarist in Queen since their 1970 inception, remembers when Mercury finally announced to him that he was gay, “years after it was obvious”. “In the beginning, the band lived on a shoestring. We couldn’t afford individual hotel rooms, so I would share a room with Freddie … There isn’t a lot I don’t know about Freddie and what he got up to in those days — which was not men, I have to tell you. It was fairly obvious when the visitors to Freddie’s dressing room started to change from hot chicks to hot men. It didn’t matter to us, why should it? But Freddie had this habit of saying, ‘Well, I suppose you realise this, that or the other,’ in this very offhand way, and he did say at some point, ‘I suppose you realise I’ve changed in my private life?’
“And years later, he said, ‘I suppose you realise that I’m dealing with this illness.’ Of course, we all knew [he had Aids], but we didn’t want to. He said, ‘You probably gather that I’m dealing with this thing and I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want our lives to change, but that’s the situation.’ And then he would move on.”
Dredging through old memories has been the subject of May’s latest project: a compilation book of his personal collection of 3D photos from his time striding around the globe during Queen’s heady reign of stadium-rock supremacy. The accompanying words mark the first time any member of Queen has written about their experiences in the band.
It is harrowing to read of Freddie’s final days and the devastating effect the HIV virus took on his body before he died in late 1991. “The problem,” May writes, “was actually his foot, and tragically there was very little left of it. Once, he showed it to us at dinner. And he said, ‘Oh Brian, I’m sorry I’ve upset you by showing you that.’ And I said, ‘I’m not upset, Freddie, except to realise you have to put up with all this terrible pain.’ ”
Equally hard is May’s belief that the “magic cocktail” of drugs that has since stopped Aids becoming a death sentence was discovered just too late to save Freddie.
“He missed by just a few months,” May sighs. “If it had been a bit later he would still have been with us, I’m sure. It’s very …” he breaks off sadly. “Hmmm. You can’t do ‘what if’ can you? You can’t go there because therein lies madness.”
Brian May on his Queen picture book and Freddie Mercury
Honestly, I had expected to meet a sanctimonious old git. May has been dubbed “the world’s grumpiest rock star” thanks to his online blog, Brian’s Soapbox, on which he posts pious rants about politics, the press, badger culls and animal rights. There are flashes of the same hectoring tone in the book. But it must be a mean trick of the typing, because in real life he seems a terribly gentle and pleasant soul.
I meet him in Windlesham, Surrey, in the vast pile where he has his offices. The bookshelves are lined with antique cameras and 19th-century volumes of Punch. In the middle of the room is a female mannequin wearing a sweeping Victorian crinoline skirt — another of May’s esoteric interests.
He wanders in wearing clogs, gardening trousers and a woven red jacket, almost as arresting as his bright grey corkscrew barnet. Under the jacket is a white shirt, unbuttoned dangerously low for someone who turns 70 in July. Bohemian chain pendants clatter against nipple as he leans in to say hello. He is very tall — or maybe that’s just the hair — and frightfully easy-going.
Tea is arranged and he briefly excuses himself. I assume he’s gone to use the facilities or take an urgent phone call. But after 20 minutes I look out the window to see him tottering around the back garden taking pictures of his rhododendron. Has he forgotten me? When he finally returns, it’s with a box containing his treasured collection of “stereoscopic” (3D) cameras and some of the original slides he took.
He shows me one of his favourites: a picture of Freddie and the Queen bassist John Deacon on a private plane in 1977. A blonde woman gazes at Freddie from the seat next to him.
“That’s Mary, his long-term girlfriend.” Despite Mercury’s sexuality, Mary Austin was his longest relationship and the woman he called “the love of my life”. “They were still very close right to the end,” May nods. “He took care of Mary in his will.”
We look at another photo of Freddie having his make-up applied before a show. “You just feel he’s so close there, don’t you?” May smiles. “It’s almost painfully real. He was this strange mixture of flamboyance and shyness,” he says, remembering his first impressions of Mercury. “He had already built this image around himself, which was very confident and colourful. He was a rock star long before he made a record. In the old days they would have called him a dandy. And more recently a metrosexual. He was like a peacock, a person who brought his own fantasy to life.”
Mercury was born Farrokh Bulsara in Zanzibar, east Africa, to Indian Parsi parents in 1946. He had already started calling himself Freddie before his family came to England, fleeing the Zanzibar revolution for Feltham in west London when he was 17. May grew up a few miles away in leafy Hampton, a studious only child who would later quit a PhD in astrophysics at Imperial College London to pursue his rock’n’roll dreams. (He eventually completed it 36 years later in 2007, specialising in zodiacal dust.)
May tells me about the day he met Freddie. The guitarist was already in a university band called Smile. One day Smile’s singer unwittingly brought his colourful, outspoken mate from Ealing Art College to watch a rehearsal. “Freddie was full of enthusiasm, really fired up,” May remembers. “He loved watching us. Then, on the other hand, he was: ‘But you’re doing all of this wrong. Why are you just standing there looking at the floor? Why aren’t you giving a show for people?’ ”
Was he angling for the frontman job himself?
“I think so. He was very complimentary to me. He said, ‘You should be my Jimi Hendrix.’ Freddie loved Hendrix, he followed him everywhere, he was like a disciple.”
A band, Queen, was born with Mercury as singer. I had no idea how revolutionary his crowd interaction was until May explains that most audiences going to watch a rock band in the early 1970s would sit on the floor, nodding. “These days groups encourage audience participation, but Freddie asking people to sing along was almost uncool in those days. It was viewed as something that might happen in cabaret. What we did, if you want to be crass about it, is we amalgamated rock with music hall. That’s why we wrote We Are the Champions, We Will Rock You and Radio Ga Ga — it was consciously allowing the audience to be part of the show.”
Then there were the outfits. May’s book features some beauties: early 1970s Freddie in flowing locks and Zandra Rhodes’s white pleated “winged” capes; gay-icon Freddie, barechested in black leather trousers and black leather biker hat; “Mediterranean prawn” Freddie with his porno moustache, bouffant wig and strappy red leotard.
Wasn’t he scared of getting beaten up?
“No, not really. There were times when we went, Fred, are you really going on in that? I think the maroon sequin shorts were close to the edge as far as we were concerned. But he loved to outrage people. We were very much a people’s band. If people stopped us in the street and got excited, it was generally bricklayers or truck drivers. Freddie had an amazing way of being in contact with everyone, making people feel like their inner selves were going to come out. We liberated a lot of people.”
Mercury the daring peacock, May the soft-spoken brainiac … it is hard not to see them as two polar opposites, but May disagrees. “We were all striding around the world being big-time rock stars, but actually we’re quite fragile inside. It’s probably the reason we’re rock stars, because it’s a big compensation thing, playing a loud guitar or strutting around singing. You do it because you want to feel confident, you want to find yourself and achieve your potential.”
It says much about Mercury’s light-sapping charisma that May spent much of his time in the shadow of the singer while he was alive. And it says much about May’s strategic brilliance that he hasn’t subsequently faded into obscurity, but become the figurehead of a band that is now even more successful than it was during Mercury’s lifetime. According to this year’s Rich List, May is worth £125m, while a recent survey named Queen the favourite band among fiftysomethings.
Next year will finally see the release of a long-awaited Freddie Mercury biopic, with Rami Malek playing the singer, and May and Queen’s drummer, Roger Taylor, on board as music producers. We Will Rock You, a musical based on Queen’s hits, ran at the Dominion Theatre for 12 years from 2002. Since 2012, Queen have toured live with the American Idol finalist Adam Lambert singing Mercury’s lines (heresy in my opinion, but apparently Freddie would have loved him). Nothing, though, can eclipse May’s 2002 moment astride the top of Buckingham Palace, playing a guitar solo of God Save the Queen for the jubilee. The roof was his idea; the organisers had initially envisaged him wandering through the state rooms for the performance, but he thought it lacked impact. Perhaps he is more like Freddie than we will ever know.
Absent from any of the post-Mercury Queen activity is the bassist, John Deacon, now said to be a recluse. “I don’t see him at all, no,” says May. “It’s his choice. He doesn’t contact us. John was quite delicate all along. He could be very outgoing and very funny, but I think some of the stuff that happened in Munich gave him a lot of damage, and I think losing Freddie was very hard for him as well. He found that incredibly hard to process, to the point where actually playing with us made it more difficult.”
Munich was where Queen holed up at the end of the 1970s and early 1980s to write and record. Things got out of hand. May coyly refers to it in the book as a period of heavy drinking in a local bar, “living in a fantasy world of vodka and barmaids”.
Today he is more forthright: “We all lost our minds … we were all in a perilous place where our emotions were out of control. It manifested itself in way too much drinking, a certain amount of drugs, which I didn’t share — but certainly an awful lot of vodka went through my body. We all fell to bits. That’s the moment Freddie wrote It’s a Hard Life. If you look at the video, it’s a metaphor. There’s all this wonderful, fanciful clothing and excess of food, wine and debauchery, but Freddie’s saying ‘It’s a hard life’ as the grapes are thrust into his mouth. The Freddie writing that song was actually in a very painful, emotional place.”
It inevitably also had an impact on the band dynamic. “We overreacted with each other at times. We all left the band at some point. The studio’s a hard place for a band anyway, but in our case all four of us as writers had had worldwide hits — and I think that’s unique, I don’t think there’s another band in history where that’s true. You have four writers trying to create the next statement of what we are, so what could that statement be except a fight between the different visions? The lifestyle we led magnified that conflict.” In Deacon’s case, it culminated in “John disappearing to Bali and seeing God or whatever”.
When it comes to legendary Queen decadence, May’s book does its best to brush over the carnage. So let me be the one to remind you: there was the Madison Square Garden aftershow party at which male guests were served by topless waitresses in stockings and heels and female guests by men in nothing but gym shorts (to avoid accusations of sexism). And the champagne bill for Freddie’s 35th birthday in New York in 1981, which is said to have been £30,000. Most outrageous, though, was a 1978 album-release party in New Orleans, involving “a flock of transvestites, fire-eaters, dancing girls, snake charmers and strippers dressed as nuns”, according to Mark Blake’s well-respected Queen biography. The tales of what happened next range from the lurid (naked mud-wrestling, public fornication) to the unprintable, but perhaps the most famous involves a fleet of dwarves carrying platters of cocaine strapped to their heads. Does May remember seeing them?
“We knew a lot of dwarves,” he concedes. “I’m still very friendly with the dwarf community because my wife, Anita, used to do pantomimes. I don’t want to sound big-headed, but I’m pretty big in the dwarf world. I’ve spent many long nights propping up bars with dwarves.”
Of New Orleans, he says: “We chose to launch the album there because it was completely broad-minded. We knew a lot of people on the ‘edge of society’, as you would have called it then. You wouldn’t call it that now, you’d call it LGBTBF or whatever it is now. To that party came all sorts of pretty outrageous performers of every sex — and there are a lot! It was fun, nothing sinister went on at all. Nobody was abused, nobody was taken advantage of.”
Fat Bottomed Girls — I was proud of that song. The nude photoshoot was fun at the time, but I wouldn’t find it amusing now. Attitudes change
He would rather distance himself from some of Queen’s less politically correct japes. “For instance, Fat Bottomed Girls. I am very proud of that song, but as part of the album packaging we had this nude [female] bicycle race for a photo session and it all seemed quite innocent and fun at the time. Now I wouldn’t think that was amusing. Attitudes have changed to lots of things.”
He was far from the hardest-partying member of Queen. He’s never even tried drugs, having decided while still a student that “I want to get to the end of this and know that everything I felt was real”.
His weakness was always “company”. He bemoans his sensitive and emotionally immature nature, which meant he was endlessly trawling the world for “the perfect bond with the perfect partner … the place where you could dissolve with someone to the point where you don’t know where they start and you end.”
Did he ever find it? “No, it’s impossible. I’ve glimpsed it. Various times, various moments. But it’s a wonderful fiction, really.”
Don’t feel too bad for him. While he was searching, his then-wife, Chrissie Mullen, was stuck at home with their three children.
“It was very different in those days. There were no mobile phones and phone calls were incredibly expensive if you were on the other side of the world. There was this feeling that life on the road was this separate bubble from your life back home. Nowadays you can’t even begin to think that because communication is so good. We lived in a time that was very exciting, but lonely because you were cut off. You were exploring the frontiers of what was around you, but also the frontiers of what was inside you. In the same way as people who went to look for the Northwest Passage in the 1950s. It felt a bit like you were an explorer in another universe.”
As justifications for adultery go, I suppose it’s a pretty classy one.
He met his second wife, Anita Dobson — aka Angie, the original Queen Vic landlady from EastEnders — in 1986 at a film premiere, while he was still married to Mullen. He and Dobson wed in 2000. There was much amusement in the early days about them both having the same huge poodle perms — though May’s is the real deal and Dobson has been platinum and straight for some time now. In his book’s acknowledgments, he thanks her for managing to live with “possibly the most infuriating man in Britain for 30 years”.
“I know I’m not easy,” he says. “I’m constantly obsessed with one thing or another — astronomy, stereoscopy, music, saving animals … Living with someone like that is appallingly difficult, so I think she deserves a medal. I’m not going to tell you she’s easy, either. She’s an artist and a fearsomely creative person, so our life has always been turbulent, but I suppose that’s what’s kept us young.”
He has previously spoken about the depression he suffered from in the late 1980s and early 1990s, as he dealt with the fallout from his first marriage breaking down and the deaths of both his father and Mercury. Last year he cancelled a tour due to a mystery “persistent illness”. And on Christmas Day he published an alarming blog on Brian’s Soapbox. “I’ve been going through some radical and painful changes in my life … if you had seen me a few weeks ago, you would’ve wondered if I was going to make it to Christmas,” he wrote, before publishing a “tool kit” of apps, a book and a prayer to help others struggling to cope “physically or mentally or spiritually”.
“I went through a very bad period before Christmas and cancelled everything, not just the tour, everything,” he explains. “I just knew I couldn’t handle it.”
Would he call it depression?
“Strangely enough I prefer not to call it depression now. I’ve recently got very much into the body and mind. All my life I’ve been pathetic at doing exercises. I now have a regime — every morning I do 40 minutes’ exercise, then I finish with meditation. It’s really enabled me to recentre. I feel like I’m in a much better place.”
He is an advocate of mindful meditation — a way of living in the present that he believes Mercury used in the final days of his illness. May is happy to speak openly about his own mental health. “I noticed Prince Harry opened up in a similar way. I’ve always thought it’s nice to be open and I get reinforced in that because I get tons of mail saying the fact that you talked about it has helped me feel like I wasn’t alone and wasn’t a freak. I don’t think all this taboo business is helpful at all.”
I wonder if it might be a better use of his platform than his zealous activism on behalf of badgers, which seems a rather niche concern. In brief, then: he is a fierce campaigner against the policy of culling badgers to try to eradicate bovine TB. It is his scientific belief that the cull isn’t working. But it is muddled by his more deep-seated conviction: “Martin Luther King said we hold it self-evident that every man is born equal. I hold it self-evident that every creature is born equal.”
He can point to numerous childhood traumas that led him to this conclusion: watching his mother pour boiling water over an invasion of ants on the path outside his house; squirting a bumblebee with the pesticide DDT, then recoiling in shame as it dropped to the ground, buzzing to its slow and agonising death. If he hasn’t yet had therapy for the latter, he really should.
The animal fanaticism is odd, because on everything else he seems so calmly rational. Perhaps he learnt some of that composure from Freddie. Despite his pain, Freddie was determined to keep working during the band’s final days together in a recording studio in Montreux.
“What we did was get on with business as usual, which is what Freddie wanted,” May remembers. “He said, ‘I don’t want anything to change. We just do what we always do and we love what we do, so it’s going to be fine.’ Certainly those days towards the end were fabulous, full of laughter and joy, Freddie as wicked as ever. He was incredibly matter-of-fact about everything. ‘Oh darling, I’ll just get on with it.’ There wasn’t any self-pity at all. He wanted a ballad, so I very quickly sketched something in the studio and Freddie liked it. He said, ‘Gimme some words’. It was a question of scribbling a few lines and he’d chuck a couple of vodkas down — because he could hardly stand at that point — ‘Oh darling, I’ll do it now.’ Then he’d prop himself up on the desk and sing the lines. We didn’t quite get to the end. I gave him the last verse and he said, ‘Oh darling, I’m not feeling too good now, so I’ll come back to it. In a couple of days I’ll be fine, we’ll do it then.’ And he never did.”
May finished the song after Mercury’s death. It’s called Mother Love, “an attempt from the two of us to look at life and sum it up, to reconcile the end with the beginning, although we wouldn’t have put it that way.”
What does he think Freddie would be doing now if he were still alive? “I don’t think he’d have the patience for social media, because I hardly do and he was much more impatient than me. I don’t think he would be tweeting, he would probably be still writing his little memos on pieces of paper. He was becoming more and more reclusive towards the end of his life. That was partly because he was becoming more and more visible, but partly not wanting his illness to be public. But he was very private anyway and I think that would have continued.”
He is adamant Mercury would still be creating music. “His creativity would have carried on. He was unstoppable and very lateral-thinking. Always coming up with things that were surprising. Often Roger and I, if we’re creating something for Queen, both of us have said that we feel like he’s in the room and you know what he’d say. You can tell if he would have been scornful or enthusiastic — although of course the whole thing about Freddie was that he wasn’t expected.”
We have touched upon May’s depression, infidelity, the painful death of one of his closest friends and the painful death of a bee. Yet there is one subject so sensitive, I have avoided raising it until the very end. His hair. He hates talking about it, but he must on some level like the attention it brings, otherwise why doesn’t he just cut it off?
“I’m comfortable with it,” he says. “It’s completely real. For a time when it was going grey I got very worried that I had to keep it a certain way or I wouldn’t be me any more. Anita encouraged me not to worry about it.”
Would he ever cut it off?
“If it would achieve world peace, I’d do it tomorrow. If it would stop the badger cull, I’d probably do it tomorrow. Because the badger cull is a worthless, senseless operation, it’s not working and sooner or later our government has to realise …”
The images in May’s new book are not just any photos, but 3D pictures, taken on one of the Queen guitarist’s prized “stereoscopic” cameras.
Alongside music, astronomy and badgers, May is deliriously passionate about 3D photography. He first became hooked, aged 12, when Weetabix gave away free stereoscopic picture cards. He petitioned his parents to send off 1s 6d for the photo viewer so he could see them properly in 3D. “It’s probably about £2.50 by today’s money. But we were poor in those days — £2.50 was a lot of heating and lighting.”
“Stereoscopic” photography was originally a Victorian phenomenon and May’s book is published through the London Stereoscopic Company, a 19th-century business he brought back to life in 2008. He has also designed and prototyped his own stereoscopic photo viewer, the Owl, to see the images in their full, 3D majesty; it comes with the book. “It’s just magic to me,” he says, “when you see a picture of Freddie in the viewer and he springs to life.”
#brian may#queen#freddie mercury#roger taylor#john deacon#bohemian rhapsody#borhap#the angry lizard speaks
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“also how would you analyze the scene where the inhibitor gets broken and then the scene with Brainy's reaction to it being broken?”
This is the second part of a question asked by @cyclone-rachel, and i am finally coming back to this.(better late then never)
so, these scenes in question, have a few ‘dead moments’ as in they simply act as base set up for exposition or information like in some dialog and some stationary camera shorts, so I will be ignoring those for the most part as they are for other parts of the ep, aka the A-plot of this season,
ok ok
the first scene i’m looking at is the one with the exploitation the scene opens like this.
Brainy on his own, with half of the screen covered with a, well screen (lol)
since we now know the end result of this scene this could be foreshadowing, as a Brainy is only ‘half in the picture��� or is not at ‘full view’ to the audience
or it could be that this is his mind space, he is only thinking in ‘half measures’ or he is in his own head and is consumed with the task in front of him (the screen)
the next the shot is pulled out as Alex walks in.
(note: that his ‘legion hand’ is on his face and his ‘human hand’ is lower down)
so this means that Brainy is literally and metaphorically letting Alex into his space, there is room for her in his thoughts.
now the way this framed with Alex about and Brainy below
she has power over his (makes sense she is his boss) but Brainy is sitting casually so yeah, their close (duh)
most of the rest of this part play out with exposition, until this graphic cut,
(i love this cut)
they walk off to together and arrive together, Brainy slightly back following Alex. but it was Brainy’s info (through dialog) that got them there. (their dynamic in a nutshell) they both lead each other and do their roles (love them)
(note: Brainy dose not have a weapon drawn and dose not look like he even has one, so trust in Alex and Alex trusting her agent not to need one)
its only once they confirm that he is not moving that Alex lowers her weapon
and Brainy moves forward, ahead of her, now they don’t know he is dead (Alex thinks he is but they don’t know)
now this is interesting in that Brainy moves a little faster towards him (possibly to confirm for himself) but i think if the man is (or was) alive Brainy had every intention of saving him, as its not until the beeping starts that they he stops.
(also cute moment when he backs up he puts up his arm for Alex then as they are moving back she put up her arm for him, their such bro’s)
then, bing, bang, boom.
Cool, then this cut before black screen.
Alex on her back and Brainy in frame, cut on his head and Legion ring in frame
ok so the next shot is.
here we have a peace of metal (inorganic) and it is broken the legion ring is in frame also.
and as i have mentioned in the past the ring is symbolic Brainy’s person hood and ideals (as a hero and organic being).
so we have something broken and Brainy’s person hood in frame so
Brainy= metal broken or damaged
so same point her, ring is crocked
cut on forehead and broken metal peace
so that is the set up right there.
now we are back at the high and low dynamic,
then this her he use his legion hand to ‘fix’ the the problem (also not that he lowers his inducer with that hand as well)
but then
uses his non legion hand to put it back up before stating
‘there, perfect as always’
so the legion side took away the pain but the other side is what put him back together or to be ‘perfect’
now its only after Brainy is in one peace that Alex falls down.
she thumbled earlier in the scene before asking Brainy id he was ok, once he was (for sure, and as far as she knew) she fell down.
this is also a shift in their dynamic, high and low
and Brainy is using ‘his power’ to balance and hold her up as that is what he is in this moment balance for Alex to hold onto. (love these two)
so to sum up
Brainy starts the scene ‘lower’ then Alex and distant from her with half of his mind covered
and ends the scene with him ‘above’ her in the power dynamic (but using it as a care giver)
--------
[the next scene is was given to me by @cyclone-rachel themselves so they are the real MVP here]
so we start this scene with broken peaces on a table
as i said, Brainy now has a broken peace
so the fact very little has been done to reassemble them is another interesting factor.
now again the legion hand is what is trying to readjust his head (or relieve himself for comfort)
(this has happened to many times now to be accidental this has to be Jesse’s acting choices i am convinced at this point)
then we hear the sound of the inhibitor breaking down and
the broken tools and broken inhibitor are both in frame again, so they are one in the same.
(also the light in purple her a colour we have not seen come for Brainy before and is the colour most associated with him in the comics, so purple is also most associated with Brainiac 1 as well, so that is worth pointing out)
ok so I talked about camera angles and power before with the reboot scene, with a lower angle being inverted to meaning him being powerless to himself
here, the angle is showing us what is changing him (purple light) before moving out of the way
so now the things that are broken are out of frame or are out of focus,
so this angle is demonstrating that, Brainy is being empowered in this shot not over powered.
he then moves his head forward and keeps going.
now the camera is moving in the opposite direction of Brainy (at first) and is slow and behind a table.
so the camera is a force pulling him in on way and he is walking in another,
and the distances make it clear that, we (the audience) are pulling way from him to.
(also he is waving around his legion hand when going on this rant) so he is wavering and pulling at himself.
he then slams is non-legion hand down before saying
‘go god, it a clear’
and that is when this face (realisation hits him)
now this is the only profile shot in the scene and is (or could be) symbolic of his mind ‘splitting in half’ or at least his thoughts are,
this is a loaded moment, as the acting here shows that since this are ‘clear’ something is then ‘wrong’ with him and why would he think that is anwered in the next frame.
the legion, (god, i love subtext)
now the legion either told him that this was ‘wrong’ or that he and legion agreed that it was,
this is when he realises his inhibitor is broken and this is his reaction
(the pain, the fear, the joy, all in one, so good)
and the legion ring still, in frame then he lughs and says
‘spectacular’
then the legion ring drops out of frame and he tears up at his mind opening like this for the first time in who knows how long.
the camera then spins slowly and gets to
another profile, the split is back and he likes it.
then exposition and a great Scott and we move on to the next scene
ending on a zoom in shot of his face stalling into what is happening to him,
(the acting here is so good, the breakdown on the emotions here word take forever to do and is impossible to explain but are unmistakable when they are seen,)
to sum up the scene he starts off broken (table) and ends with a scenes of new beginnings (uninhibited)
-----
now i will do a quick take one the seconded scene
it is the opposite to the reboot scene (you can look at my post on that) but to sum up
the reboot scene
-was a power struggle
-was in a closed space lock up/ tortured
-Brainy losing himself
-the ring was locked way so therefore Brainy was
-the camera was below him (making him look weak)
the uninhibited scene
- Brainy was letting it happen
-was in an open space and safe
-Was gaining apart of himself (previously gone)
-The ring was being shoved way on purpose
-The camera was used to above him (making him look in control)
and of course Brainy was happy about change in on scene and in disrepair about it in the other.
now what this means for him as a character is still unknown and until we know why he was inhibited we can’t figure out what this all means and why he is happy about it (for good or for ill)
but at its core the difference in these scenes are simple
-something being taken (reboot)
-something being gained (uninhibited)
both of these changes came about unwillingly, but one was used to get rid of part of himself and the other is used to enhance it that part being his humanity.
reboot made him less emotional and less himself (organic/ human(ish))
but uninhibited made him understand more (like earth and its customs) and what did he find because of this an
EARTH BENDER
so earth is key here. Earth is important to Brainy and it is earth that is going to play a part in how this ends for him so that will be interesting to see
and if i was one of guessing (and i am) Alex has been used as the human input in the story so i think Alex is going to hold a part in which way Brainy may go.
so yeah, that’s my thoughts
[here are the links
reboot scene analysis
https://ithinkthingsaboutstuff.tumblr.com/post/189789882224/how-would-you-analyze-the-rebooting-scene
scene 1,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UA9miYLp80w
scene 2,
https://cyclone-rachel.tumblr.com/post/190076883201/ithinkthingsaboutstuff]
#brainiac 5#brainy#querl dox#supergirl#supergirl season 5#supergirl meta#meta#this took awhile#alex danvers#i love them bro's#they#are so fun together#brotp; stuck with each other
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Point of Interest: Why the Legion of Super-Heroes Introduction is Important to the Arrowverse
So with Supergirl on a break as the CW has seen fit to alternate Mondays between Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow in 2018, I thought I'd give my opinion on one of the show's major plot-points this season which is the introduction of the futuristic Legion of Superheroes and also validate why I feel this is one of the shared universe's greatest strengths at present.
Backstory:
So who are The Legion? Well in the comics they debuted in Adventure Comics #237 way back in April 1958 as a team based in the 30th Century who were founded by teenage Superman superfans Lightning Lad, Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl in honour of their idol Kal-El aka Superman. As the decades have gone on and the fanbase has increased for the team they have become more of a mainstay in the comics and now serve almost as the futuristic version of the Titans or Young Justice team being a law enforcement organisation with its own rules and regulations for protecting the peace.
Throughout the years and several reboots the team has recruited many “Legionnaires” including Superman while he was still teenage Superboy, Brainiac 5, Supergirl, Mon-El and Superboy aka Kon-El. There are also many others however none have been introduced in any media outside the comics or as fan-service cameos when the Legion has appeared in the DC Animated Universe.
Arrowverse Version:
While this isn’t the team’s first appearance in live-action, it is the first major recurring appearance having only made minor appearances or cameos beforehand which I will discuss further down. Having said that, during the first half of the season they have pretty much been in the background as a team aside from episode 10 which was titled “Legion of Super-Heroes” so it makes sense they were in the foreground for that one but the three episodes that followed before the mid-season break did not really focus on them as a team and instead individuals, more specifically Mon-El and his arranged marriage to Imra despite his feelings for Kara and also Brainy being jealous of Winn. Also it does seem as if we are not going to see any more Legionnaires outside of these three and personally I feel that is a missed opportunity for the show and the Arrowverse at large.
Now of course as I stated before Mon-El has been a member of The Legion in the comics before however in the most recent incarnation as I think it has been through two reboots in the team’s tenure. However everyone did guess that when Mon-El went through that portal at the end of Season 2 that he was going to the future and would join The Legion. However I do not think anyone expected him to start up the team let alone lead it because again he’s never done that in the comics. Some fans have theorized that this version of the character is a composite of both Mon-El and Superboy from the comics which I find personally weird because that would effectively make him and Kara cousins but maybe that’s a thing on Daxam and Krypton and who are we to judge? But also it is stated that Mon-El formed the Legion of Super-Heroes in honor of Supergirl and I personally do not like that even though it’s her series because the team is supposed to be a Superman fan club and changing the foundation of a long-standing team such as this is just in service to the girl power theme the show constantly pushes.
For instance in Gotham recently they have made Barbara Kean the new Demon’s Head as she is now the leader of the League of Shadows...however from what was teased in the reveal it does seem it is going to be largely focused on the Sisters of the League which is a deviation from the comics but a different spin which I personally like. But if the Legion of Super-Heroes has no deviation from the source material and is supposedly the same team that it should have the same foundation, especially considering Superman has already been introduced into the series and we have seen a Legion Flight Ring in the Fortress of Solitude suggesting he has already met them...
Saturn Girl is the only founding member of the original team to be introduced into the Arrowverse and personally I am okay with that because of the three I find her the most interesting. I am not too keen thus far on Amy Jackson’s performance as she seems more robotic than Brainiac 5 and he is essentially a robot whereas Imra is supposed to be an alien woman from Saturn’s Moon of Titan, which on a side-note is another example of there being co-morbidity between DC and Marvel because of course Titan is the homeworld of Marvel supervillain Thanos which we will apparently visit in the upcoming Avengers: Infinity War. Irregardless I do like how they have depicted her telepathic powers so far, again they have not shown much but in terms of being an actual vigilante she is the one to get the most screen-time as she teamed up with Supergirl, Livewire and Psi on that mission to Fort Rozz. Again this does seem like Supergirl as a series pushing the female agenda given that the character’s introduction to the series was announced at the start of the season and Brainiac 5 who is male was only announced when he was introduced in Episode 10.
Speaking of Brainiac 5, I am a massive fan of all things Brainiac. I think in his original form he is a superb supervillain and a perfect nemesis for Superman. He has had many great incarnations in various media including TV Series’ both animated and live-action most recently Krypton which I am starting to watch along with everything else I am watching and my uni work, but also in video games most notably Injustice 2. In the comics Brainiac 5, also known formally as Querl Dox is originally thought to be the great-great-grandson of the original Brainiac who is ashamed of his ancestor’s villainous deeds and makes it his mission to atone for them by joining The Legion. However it is later revealed Brainiac is in fact an android and Querl Dox descends from Brainiac 2 but is apparently cloned from Brainiac 1. It’s all very confusing and to be fair Supergirl does nothing to even address Brainy’s origins so unless you want to know it’s not something you have to know. I am not overly keen on Brainy’s design, for a start he’s blue whereas in the comics he’s green and secondly he has hair that makes him look like Doc Brown from Back to the Future as opposed to the shorter more youthful blonde look he has in the comics. I do appreciate them using the three dots motif that the original Brainiac is known for and also that Season 1 villain Indigo aka Brainiac 8 also had despite that fact Brainiac 5 usually does not sport them in the comics and they do make the character look slightly cartoonish.
On the subject of Indigo, there is thus far no mention or reference to suggest that Brainy and Indigo are in any way related to each other despite the fact that one is called Brainiac 5 and one is called Brainiac 8 and they both come from the same planet just 10 centuries apart from each other. Also it is slightly puzzling that a modern day Brainiac is called 8 whereas a futuristic Brainiac is called 5 but I digress. I know I haven’t really reviewed Supergirl as I have done with Arrow and The Flash but again since starting uni I cannot fit in episodic reviews of shows I watch anymore because I barely have the time to do movie reviews these days, but just to get my thoughts out there I really disliked how Indigo looked. Firstly she looked more like Mystique than how she does in the comics, again if they had made her green it would have been more faithful. Also Laura Vandervoort tried god bless her but her superhero heyday was as Supergirl in Smallville.
Now the series has referenced another Legionnaire, I think Mon-El mentioned having a friend in the 31st century named Ayla who in the comics is the Legionnaire codenamed Lightning Lass who is the sister of founding member Lightning Lad. The team has stated there are at least three unidentified members other than themselves so both Lightning Lass and Lightning Lad could be members as well as Cosmic Boy because the latter two along with Saturn Girl have always been the founding members in all incarnations of the team. However again why there has been no mention of a Rokk or Garth even by Imra yet there has been mention of an Ayla is maddening to me because again it’s pushing the female members of the team more than the original and faithful members.
On a final note about this universe’s version of the team. I do not like the fact the team are uniformed identically, it really annoys me. As much as I love the X-Men film franchise it annoys me about them too because it almost strips them of their identity. Particularly when you consider Team Arrow, Team Flash, the Legends, every supervillain depicted and even Black Lightning all have costumes similar to the comics.
Previous Versions:
As I mentioned earlier this isn’t the first incarnation of The Legion outside of the comics, the first that came to my attention was on Smallville Season 8 which is also a CW DC series and in my opinion did more in 1 episode to establish the team than Supergirl has done in the series so far. For a start they introduced the team with the original founding members Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl, they established the team was founded on what they believed was Superman’s ideals, also they allowed the creation of Brainiac 5 and depicted the origin of said character in a more organic way than established here. Yes they went straight from Brainiac to Brainiac 5 by simply reprogramming the original which I guess brings in the clone angle from the comics but either way it was pretty straight forward and the recurring villain that James Marsters brilliantly portrayed for 5 seasons on and off transitioned into the reformed hero when he returned in Season 10. Also Supergirl is briefly a member during Season 10 as she goes to the future before going off to fight in the war on New Krypton.
Other than live-action the team has made multiple appearances in animation, firstly in the DC Animated Universe of the 90s-Early 00s and then in their own, albeit short-lived, series trying to capitalize on the success of the original Teen Titans series.
Benefits to the Arrowverse:
So now we’ve gone over who the Legion of Superheroes are, why do I believe the team are one of the stronger current installments to the Arrowverse?
Well the Legion’s primary base of operations is in the 31st Century, now yes while the Earth-38 (Supergirl’s reality) variant of the team is currently operating in present day, they could easily travel back to their own time and even take Supergirl with them to see what the future is like either if Reign remains victorious or after she is defeated.
However as has been stated numerous times, the Multiverse consists of 53 different realities including 16 numbered Earths, 5 unidentified Earths and the Nazi ruled Earth-X. Also it his widely known that there are various doppelgangers of most characters. Barry Allen of Earth-1 has an Earth-2 counterpart as well as Killer Frost, Cisco Ramon, Ronnie Raymond, Martin Stein, Iris West, Joe West, Nora Allen, Oliver Queen, Robert Queen, Floyd Lawton and David Singh as well as Earth-X counterparts of Kara Zor-El, Oliver Queen, Tommy Merlyn, James Olsen, Felicity Smoak, Winn Schott and Leonard Snart. Also seemingly a Harrison Wells on every Earth. So it does stand to reason that on at least a couple of Earths there are variants of the Legion of Superheroes.
Also because the team operates in the 31st Century, Barry Allen or the Legends could travel to the future and meet them in order for the team to ally them in a mission. This could also introduce new members including founders Cosmic Boy and Lightning Lad, that’s just on Earth-1. Also it is a public fan-theory that Smallville exists on one of the 53 Earths which already has its own Legion team so that is already another variant right there.
I do not believe the Legion can hold it’s own series for the pure and simple reason that Legends of Tomorrow is already a team series and the similarities are too close. However they could easily become recurring support for Supergirl, the Legends or Team Flash potentially in a future four-way crossover or a two-part story in one of the four series’ the universe comprises of.
So what do you guys think? Do you think the Legion of Superheroes has a place in the Arrowverse or do you think they’re just a plot-device on the current season of Supergirl. Post your comments and check out more DC TV posts as well as other posts.
#arrowverse#dc tv universe#legends of tomorrow#legion of super heroes#legion of substitute heroes#the flash#supergirl#cosmic boy#lightning lad#saturn girl#mon-el#brainiac 5#brainiac#brainiac 8#smallville#lightning lass#superman#superboy#earth-x#crisis on earth-x#kara zor-el#oliver queen#tommy merlyn#winn schott#james olsen#jimmy olsen#james marsters#felicity smoak#barry allen#floyd lawton
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Superman Starter Pack
First and most importantly, before we go into petty commercial concerns, let’s remember the meaning of the day I orginally posted this. Because friends, it was no ordinary day: it was Miracle Monday, the anniversary of Superman triumphing over no less than the biblical prince of darkness himself (or at least a respectable substitute), and it was so awesome that even though it was expunged from humanity’s collective consciousness, they still instinctively recognized the third Monday of May as a day of good cheer to be celebrated in Superman’s honor from now until the end of time.
I know I write plenty about Superman on here, but with as much as a pain as comics can be to get into, I’m sure at least some of those I’m lucky enough to have follow me haven’t been able to find an easy in for the character. Or maybe a follower-of-a-follower or friend-of-a-friend is looking for a reasonable place to start. So in the spirit of the season, I’ll toss on the (admittedly already pretty massive) pile of recommended starting points on Superman: ten stories in a recommended - but by no means strict - order that should, as a whole, give you a pretty decent idea of what Superman’s deal is and why you should care, all of which you should be able to find pretty easily on Comixology or a local bookstore/comic book shop.
1. Superman: Birthright
What it’s about: It’s his origin. He gets rocketed to Earth from the doomed planet Krypton, he gets raised by farmers, he puts on tights to fight crime, he meets Lois Lane and Lex Luthor, he deals with Kryptonite, all the standard-issue Superman business.
Why you should read it: It does all that stuff better than anyone else. He’s had a few different takes on his origins over the years due to a series of reboots, another of those tellings is even further down the list, but the first major modern one pretty much hit the nail on the head first try. It toes the tricky line of humanizing him without making you forget that hey, he’s Superman, it’s high-action fun without skimping on the character, and if there’s any one story that does the best job of conveying why you should look at an invincible man-god all but beyond sin or death with no major inciting incident in his background as a likable, relatable character, this is it. Add in some of the best Lane and Luthor material out there, and it’s a no-brainer.
Further recommendations if you liked it: About a decade before writing Birthright, its author Mark Waid worked with Alex Ross on what ended up one of DC’s biggest comics ever, Kingdom Come, the story of a brutal near-future of out-of-control superheroes that ultimately narrowed down to being about Superman above all else, and one of his most popular and influential stories of all time at that. Years after Birthright he created Irredeemable, the story of a Superman pastiche named Plutonian gone murderously rogue and how he reached his breaking point, illustrating a lot of what makes Superman special by way of contrast.
(Since Superman’s had so many notable homage/analogue/pastiche/rip-off/whatever-you-want-to-call-it characters compared to other superheroes, often in very good stories, there’ll be a number of those stories on this list.)
2. Superman: Up, Up and Away
What: Ever seen Superman Returns? That, but good. Clark Kent’s been living and loving a normal life as a reporter and husband after a cosmic dust-up in one of DC’s event comics took Superman off the board for a year, but mounting threats demand his return to save Metropolis again, if he still can.
Why: If you’d rather skip the origin, this is as a good a place as you’ll find to jump onboard. Clark and Lois both get some solid characterization, a number of classic villains have solid screentime, there’s some interesting Kryptonian mythology sticking its head in without being too intrusive, a great overarching threat to Metropolis, and it captures how Superman’s powers work in a visceral sense better than almost anything else. If you just want a classic, pick-it-up-and-go Fun Superman Story, this is where to go.
Recommendations: If you liked this, you’ll probably be inclined to enjoy the rest of co-writer Geoff Johns’ run on Action Comics, including most popularly Legion of Superheroes and Brainiac, both with artist Gary Frank. Another series tapping into that classic Superman feeling pretty well - regardless of whether you enjoyed the original show or not - is Smallville: Season 11, showing the adventures of that series’ young Clark Kent once he finally becomes Superman. Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason’s run on the main Superman title under the banner of DC Rebirth tried to maintain that feeling, properly introducing Jon Kent, Lois and Clark’s 10-year-old-son, as Superboy in what seems to be a permanent addition to the cast and mythology; your mileage on its success may vary, but Volume 2, Trials of the Super Sons, represents the best of it. And the current Superman work by Brian Bendis - beginning with his The Man Of Steel miniseries and spinning off into both Superman and Action Comics - while controversial, presents a very similar take on Superman to the one seen in Up, Up and Away and a similar sensibility, to very positive results.
3. Superman: Secret Identity
What: He’s Clark Kent, an aspiring writer from a farm town in Kansas. Problem is he’s only named after the other guy, an ordinary teenager who’s put up with crap his whole life for being named after a comic book character in an ordinary world. But when he suddenly finds himself far closer to his namesake than he ever would have imagined, it becomes the journey of his life to find how to really be a Superman.
Why: The best ‘realistic’ Superman story by a long shot, this doesn’t sideline its heart in favor of pseudo-science justifications for what he can do, or the sociopolitical impact of his existence. He has the powers, he wears the costume to save people (though he never directly reveals himself to the world), and in-between he lives his life and learns what it means to be a good man. It’s quiet and sweet and deeply human, and probably one of the two or three best Superman comics period.
Recommendations: If you like the low-key, pastoral aesthetic, you might enjoy Superman for All Seasons, or Supergirl: Being Super, and the one-shot Man and Superman by Marv Wolfman and Claudio Castellini has something of a similar down-to-Earth feel. I’d also recommend Jeff Loveness and Tom Grummet’s Glasses in Mysteries Of Love In Space. If you’d like more of writer Kurt Busiek’s work, his much-beloved series Astro City - focusing on a different perspective in the superhero-stuffed metropolis in every story - opens with A Dream of Flying, set from the point of view of the Superman-like Samaritan, telling of his quiet sorrow of never being to fly simply for its own sake in a world of dangers demanding his attention.
4. Of Thee I Sing
What: Gotham hitman Tommy Monaghan heads to the roof of Noonan’s bar for a smoke. Superman happens to be there at the time. They talk.
Why: A lot of people call this the best Superman story of the 90s, and they’re not wrong. Writer Garth Ennis doesn’t make any bones about hating the superhero genre in general (as evidenced by their treatment in the rest of Hitman), but he has a sincere soft spot for Superman as an ideal of what we - and specifically Americans - are supposed to be, and he pours it all out here in a story of what it means for Superman to fail, and why he remains Superman regardless. It sells the idea that an unrepentant killer - even one only targeting ‘bad guys’ like Tommy - would unabashedly consider Superman his hero, and that’s no small feat.
Recommendations: If you read Hitman #34 and love it but don’t intend to check out the rest of the series (why? It’s amazing), go ahead and read JLA/Hitman, a coda to the book showing the one time Tommy got caught up in the Justice League’s orbit, and what happens when Superman learns the truth about his profession, culminating in a scene that sums up What Superman Is All About better than maybe any other story. Tom King and Andy Kubert’s Superman: Up In The Sky, while not without blemish (there’s a rightly-controversial chapter involving Lois that precludes universal recommendation), is a similarly humane look at Superman and the clash of his iconic power and mortal limitations. If you appreciated the idea of a classically decent Superman in an indecent world, you might enjoy Al Ewing’s novel Gods of Manhattan (the middle of a loose pulp adventure trilogy with El Sombra and Pax Omega, which I’ve discussed in the past), starring Doc Savage and Superman analogue Doc Thunder warring with a fascistic new vigilante in a far different New York City.
5. Superman: Camelot Falls
What: On top of a number of other threats hitting Superman from all sides, he receives a prophecy from the wizard Arion, warning of a devastating future when mankind is faced with its ultimate threat; a threat it will be too weak to overcome due to Superman’s protection over the years, but will still only just barely survive without him. Will he abandon humanity to a new age of darkness, or try and fight fate to save them knowing it could lead to their ultimate extinction?
Why: From the writer of Secret Identity and co-writer of Up, Up and Away!, this is probably the best crack at the often-attempted “Would having Superman be around actually be a good thing for humanity in the long term?” story. Beyond having the courtesy of wrapping that idea up in a really solid adventure rather than having everyone solemnly ruminate for the better part of a year, it comes at it from an angle that doesn’t feel like cheating either logically or in terms of the characters, and it’s an extremely underrated gem.
Recommendations: For the same idea tackled in a very different way, there’s the much better-known Superman: Red Son, showing the hero he would have become growing up in the Soviet Union rather than the United States; going after similar ideas is the heartfelt Superman: Peace on Earth. The rest of Kurt Busiek’s time on the main Superman title was great too, even if this stood easily as the centerpiece; his other trades were Back In Action, Redemption, The Third Kryptonian, and Shadows Linger. Speaking of underrated gems, Gail Simone’s run on Action Comics from around the same time with John Byrne was also great, collected in Strange Attractors. And since the story opens with an excellent one-shot centered around his marriage to Lois, I have to recommend From Krypton With Love if you can track it down in Superman 80-Page Giant #2, and Thom Zahler’s fun Lois-and-Clark style webcomic Love and Capes.
6. Superman Adventures
What: A spinoff of Superman: The Animated Series, this quietly chugged along throughout the latter half of the 90s as the best of the Superman books at the time.
Why: Much as stories defining his character and world are important, the bread and butter of Superman is just regular old fun comics, and there’s no better place to go than here for fans of any and all ages. Almost all of its 66 issues were at least pretty fun, but by far most notable were two runs in particular - Scott McCloud, the guy who would go on to literally write the book on the entire medium in Understanding Comics, handled the first year, and Mark Millar prior to his breakout success wrote a number of incredibly charming and sincere Superman stories here, including arguably the best Luthor story in How Much Can One Man Hate?, and a full comic on every page in 22 Stories In A Single Bound.
Recommendations: Superman has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to runs of just plain fun comics. For the youngest in your family, Superman Family Adventures might just be what you’re looking for. Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade would fit on your shelf very well next to Superman Adventures. Superman: Secret Origin, while not the absolute best take on his early days, has some real charm and would be an ideal introduction for younger readers that won’t talk down to them in the slightest, and that you’ll probably like yourself (especially since it seems to be the ‘canon’ Superman origin again). If you’re interested in something retro, The Superman Chronicles cover his earliest stories from the 30s and 40s, and Showcase Presents: Superman collects many of his most classic adventures from the height of his popularity in the 50s and 60s. Age of the Sentry and Alan Moore’s Supreme would also work well. For slightly older kids (i.e. middle school), they might get a kick out of Mark Millar and Lenil Yu’s Superior, or What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice, and the American Way? And finally, for just plain fun Superman runs, I can’t ignore the last year of Joe Casey’s much-overlooked time on The Adventures of Superman.
7. Superman vs. Lex Luthor
What: Exactly what it says on the tin: a collection of 12 Luthor stories from his first appearance to the early 21st century.
Why: Well, he’s Superman’s biggest enemy, that’s why, and even on his own is one of the best villains of all time. Thankfully, this is an exceptionally well-curated collection of his greatest hits; pouring through this should give you more than a good idea of what makes him tick.
Recommendations: While he has a number of great showings in Superman-centric comics, his two biggest solo acts outside of this would be Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo’s Luthor (originally titled Lex Luthor: Man of Steel) and Paul Cornell’s run on Action Comics, where Lex took over the book for about a year. Also, one of Superman’s best writers, Elliot S! Maggin, contributed a few stories here - he’s best known for his brilliant Superman novels Last Son of Krypton and the aforementioned Miracle Monday, and he wrote a number of other great tales I picked some highlights from in another article.
8. Grant Morrison’s Action Comics
What: Spanning years, it begins in a different version of Superman’s early days, where an as-yet-flightless Clark Kent in a t-shirt and jeans challenged corrupt politicians, grappling with the public’s reaction to its first superhero even as his first true menace approaches from the stars. Showing his growth over time into the hero he becomes, he slowly realizes that his life has been subtly influenced by an unseen but all-powerful threat, one that in the climax will set Superman’s greatest enemies’ against him in a battle not just for his life, but for all of reality.
Why: The New 52 period for Superman was a controversial one at best, and I’d be the last to deny it went down ill-advised roads and made outright bone-stupid decisions. But I hope if nothing else this run is evaluated in the long run the way it deserves; while the first arc is framed as something of a Superman origin story, it becomes clear quickly that this is about his life as a whole, and his journey from a cocksure young champion of the oppressed in way over his head, to a self-questioning godling unsure of the limits of his responsibilities as his powers increase, and finally an assured, unstoppable Superman fighting on the grandest cosmic scale possible against the same old bullies. It gives him a true character arc without undermining his essential Superman-ness, and by the end it’s a contender for the title of the biggest Superman story of all.
Recommendations: Most directly, Morrison did a one-off mini-sequel to this run in Sideways Annual #1, where he gets to give his creation of t-shirt Superman a proper sendoff after he was quickly retconned out of the main line. Outside of this, Greg Pak’s runs on Action Comics and Batman/Superman, and Tom Taylor/Robson Rocha’s 3-issue Batman/Superman stint, as well as Scott Snyder, Jim Lee and Dustin Nguyen’s blockbuster mini Superman Unchained, are the best of the New 52 era. If you’re looking for more wild cosmic Superman adventure stories, Grant Morrison’s Superman Beyond is a beautiful two-part adventure (it ties in to his event comic Final Crisis but largely works standalone), and Joe Casey’s Mr. Majestic was a largely great set of often trippy cosmic-scale adventure comics with its Superman-esque lead. For something a little more gonzo, maybe try the hilariously bizarre Coming of the Supermen by Neal Adams. And while his role in it is relatively minor, if we’re talking cosmic Superman-related epics, Jack Kirby’s Fourth World has to be mentioned - it’s soon being reisssued once again in omnibus format.
9. Superman: Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
What: More than just the title story, DC issued a collection of all three of Watchmen writer Alan Moore’s Superman stories: For The Man Who Has Everything, where Superman finds himself trapped in his idea of his ideal life while Batman, Wonder Woman and Robin are in deadly danger in the real world, Jungle Line, where a deliriously ill and seemingly terminal Superman finds help in the most unexpected place, and Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?, Moore’s version of the final Superman story.
Why: Dark Superman stories are a tricky tightrope to walk - go too far and you invalidate the core his world is built around - but Moore’s pretty dang good at his job. Whatever Happened you should wait to read until you’ve checked out some Superman stories from the 1960s first since it’s very much meant as a contrast to those, but For The Man Who Has Everything is an interesting look at Superman’s basic alienation (especially in regards to his characterization in that period of his publication history) with a gangbuster final fight, and Jungle Line is a phenomenal Superman horror story that uncovers some of his rawest, most deeply buried fears.
Recommendations: There are precious few other dark Superman stories that can be considered any real successes outside a few mentioned among other recommendations; the closest I can think of is Superman: For Tomorrow, which poses some interesting questions framed by gorgeous art, but has a reach tremendously exceeding its grasp. Among similar characters though, there are some real winners; Moore’s own time on Miracleman was one of the first and still one of the most effective looks at what it would mean for a Superman-like being to exist in the real world, and the seminal novel Superfolks, while in many ways of its time, was tremendously and deservedly influential on generations of creators. Moore had another crack at the end of a Superman-like figure in his Majestic one-shot, and the Change or Die arc of Warren Ellis’ run on Stormwatch (all of which is worth reading) presented a powerful, bittersweet look at a superman’s attempt at truly changing the world for the better.
10. All-Star Superman
What: Superman rescues the first manned mission to the sun, sabotaged by Lex Luthor. His powers have reached greater heights than ever from the solar overexposure, but it’s more than his cells can handle: he’s dying, and Lex has won at last. This is what Superman does with his last year of life.
Why: I put this at the bottom since it works better the more you like Superman, but if you’re only going to read one story on this list, this one has to be it. It’s one of the best superhero stories period, and it’s everything that’s wistful and playful and sad and magical and wonderful about Superman in one book.
Recommendations: If you’re interested in the other great “Death of Superman” story, skip the 90s book and go to co-creator Jerry Siegel and Curt Swan’s 60s ‘Imaginary Story’, also one of the best Superman stories ever, and particularly one of Luthor’s best showings. If you got a kick out of the utopian ‘Superman fixes everything’ feel of a lot of it, try The Amazing Story of Superman-Red and Superman-Blue! The Supergirl run of Steve Orlando tries to operate on a pretty similar wavelength, and was definitely the best thing coming out of the Superman family of books at the time. The recent Adventures of Superman anthology series has a number of creators try and do their own ‘definitive’ Superman stories, often to great results. Help, ostensibly a Lex Luthor story by Jeff Loveness and David Williams in DC’s Beach Blanket Bad Guy’s Special, is in fact as feel-good a take on Superman’s relevancy as there is. And Avengers 34.1 starring Hyperion by Al Ewing and Dale Keown taps into All-Star’s sense of an elevated alien perspective paired with a deep well of humanity to different but still moving results.
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SO, MUCH, FEELS Such an in-depth exploration of Kara's emotions and thoughts after discovering the lie that was her entire life! And AUGH, she was BORN to be an explorer and to live among people and learn about them but Brainiac twisted that into his own needs. How she doesn't shy away from taking responsibility for her actions even if she was made unaware of them, but also at loss on how to proceed forward. So good.
Weightless, Kara coasted across the stratosphere of a broken world. Static still bristled at the corners of her vision, enough that even from far above, there were pockets she wasn't able to decipher past the fog. With a gasp, she burst forward with unmitigated strength, throwing herself into orbit.
Up and up she flew until, finally, she settled somewhere that direction no longer mattered - cradled by the infinite lull of the universe.
And yet the pain still found her. The memories. Flashes of blood and death and destruction. A blaring heat at the back of her mind, ringing in her ears until the pressure was too much to bear. A blast of raw energy that had erupted from her eyes, blown to astronomical scale by the technology Father had designed just for her.
Destroyed. How could they all be… gone? How was that possible? How had she… how could she…?
Legs curled tight to her chest, Kara felt no more than a child held static by the void. The same child who had been marched up and down Kandor’s vast hallways for years on end; measuring her strength, her speed, her dexterity through rigorous training cycles led by the holographic foes that had been pasted to the indistinguishable bodies of Father’s Primus drones. Her mind, of course, had been exercised to the same extreme – a most powerful tool, Father had praised. Encouraged by his enthusiasm, she had read from data crystals at his console for hours at a time, covering endless topics in both theory and practice until he had decided she was finally ready for her most important lesson.
Of the worlds soon to be welcomed by the New Kryptonian Empire.
Kara pressed her palms against her eyes, forcing herself into those softer memories.
She’d learnt first of Thanagar – how to speak in their crude tongue, or to fly in the same undulating method as though guided along by a set of her own burly wings. It was less dignified than the freedom of movement a Kryptonian had against gravity, and yet Kara had revelled in its exciting and unpredictable nature, the way it would make her stomach flip with every sudden dive or sharp swoop. She had laughed loudly alongside other Thanagarians, joining them on migrations, watching on as they had welcomed technological advancement alongside their centuries-old traditions. She had sat down with Thanagarian elders, staring transfixed as they had whittled figures of their Wingmen from great trunks – an order held in high esteem, expected to police a world that had once prevailed without the need for such intervention.
They struggle, Father had told her, to find order. Their construct is failing, their ideals… inefficient. The Kryptonian Empire would bring them the perfect order that they crave.
Kara’s eyes widened behind her hands, that same numbness from before creeping back into her mind. Placating her. Assuring her…
Their planet had been beautiful. She had found joy there… high up in the sky along with the other children.
Children.
Kara squirmed against the void, a whimper lodging itself deep inside her throat.
Soft memory. The planet was mesmerising, with vast cities, limitless oceans and stone perches set high into the sky to witness the most tranquil sunsets. Statues stood tall out in open water, meticulously crafted by sculptors over years, their chisels held steady against the hefty beat of their wings.
And on the ground, beneath the ocean floor, caves had stretched for miles, whistling their own tunes, smelling of salt water and…
Flush with Nth metal deposits, Father had informed her once with a grounding hand. A long time ago. Going to waste on limited minds undeserving of its uses! Seize the planet for the Empire, Daughter, and strengthen our own resources in the process.
She had demolished senselessly for… for resources?
No. No. That couldn’t be it. That wasn’t true.
Soft memory. What of Euphorix? A matriarchal society, Kara remembered, one that had welcomed her with open arms. Father had not joined her there. She had been free, for a time. The Euphorians had not been in need of a new order as he had described. They’d had their own already.
And Kara… desperate for a planet to call her home, had nearly fallen for their…
False ideology.
She cringed, burying herself further away.
They will welcome you without question. The perfect unsuspecting ally. An alien with much to learn. But you will learn of them, using the powers they do not possess; study their battle strategies, their vulnerabilities. Find out everything you can about them and exploit it. Do this, Daughter, and the New Empire will be forever in your debt.
Kara shuddered. The Empire, of course, she had done it all for the…
H’lven had been next. A juvenile planet made of half-breeds, rodents who had evolved similarly to how apes had on Earth. Kara had found their easy way of life hypnotic, a simpler means to exist. She had studied their rituals as instructed, their holidays and their hibernation periods. Although, Father had been most intrigued by the latter…
Take their world while they sleep. Ensure no resistance.
Tears rolled down Kara’s cheeks and she clenched her fists harder against her face, shaking her head until her skin was raw against her knuckles. She had learnt their languages, their politics, their battles won and lost. Their tactical advantages, their disadvantages. Everything that might make them susceptible to attack.
All of it locked away behind false memories, or perhaps, distorted ones. Just like the wall on Thanagar, the glyphs carved into every planet face they had invaded. A mural immortalising the Kryptonian trickster who had lived among them before raining fire down from the sky.
Every planet, shy of one.
Kara gasped shakily, folding even tighter into herself.
Earth had been an outlier. Father had instructed her not to stray from her directive – all would come together in time. But she had been… impatient, more-so than with other planets. For this one had called to her, not to Father, to her. A message filtered through space, from one who called himself… Kal.
Hello. Uh, Kara… I don’t know if this will work, but if you’re out there and you get this message, I’m tired of being alone. I thought you might be too. Your cousin, Kal-El
The language had been strange to her ears at first, and while Father’s translation technology had made the words decipherable, she’d wanted to hear it for herself, in the language it had been intended for.
Earth. Not part of their plan – not yet - but English was one of the many languages stored in Father’s databanks. There must have been reason for that.
And so, Kara had sat with the Primus drones for days, speaking back the chaotic language that was English consonant by consonant until she had achieved fluency, the common vernacular. She’d needed to ascertain that there was no doubt for mistranslation, the message was too important to misinterpret.
Especially that word, the one this Kal-El had used as his sign-off.
And when she was certain, Kara had cried tears of joy for the first and only time that she could recall.
Cousin had meant family.
Thinking back, she wasn’t sure why she’d kept this from Father for so long. After all, would he not have been overjoyed to learn of another Kryptonian’s survival? To add to the ranks that they were sorely lacking?
He would. He will.
Then why? Why wait? Perhaps she had feared exactly what had happened. That even with the knowledge of another Kryptonian, a blood relation, he had still forbidden her from straying from their plan. The new Kryptonian was interesting, and he would prove an indisputable ally, but only when the time was right. And only when they arrived on Earth together.
You must learn from your mistakes, Daughter.
Kara nearly scoffed at the echo of Father’s words. Mistakes? How was she to know what mistakes had been made when they were locked behind a wall of static within her own mind? She had been instructed to embody the planets that they conquered, to take from them their tongue, their beliefs, their strategies, all to determine exactly how she might bring their downfall most efficiently. A Kryptonian was strong, but Father had wanted more from her. Power was not just in one’s physical traits, after all.
The perfect weapon must be astute both in mind and body. Kara, my daughter, you will be the essence of our Empire.
But how was she meant to embody a world without falling in love with it? The Thanagarians and their art, the Euphorians and their wisdom, the H’lvenites and their innocence. They were ideals she had fallen for, ideals she had been punished for daring to emulate.
A test of your loyalty, Daughter, Father had told her once, when the fog had again cleared intermittently from her mind. So that I know your will is unwavering and your allegiance to the Empire is without question. These are all… necessary extractions.
Kara’s chest caught suddenly, and the tears on her face rolled in globules out across the star-lit void.
That word. Extractions. She wondered suddenly if she was remembering it correctly.
But with everything she couldn’t grasp, the pieces she could only felt clearer for it. That memory was without fog. It was unmuted. Bold.
Father would have punished her for her keepsakes. For the recipe book she’d been gifted on Euphorix, the statue the elders on Thanagar had crafted just for her. He had believed her obsessions childish and inappropriate. Not fit for a warrior. But… Father had not been speaking of her small treasures, then. They were mere tokens, not extractions. And… if her memory was correct, he wouldn’t yet have known about them at all.
Kara wiped her eyes harshly, staring down at the broken planet beneath her, the stuttered clouds that swirled overhead, raining ash onto an empty world.
From this high up, she couldn’t see the elements of her destruction that had ravaged the planet, and yet in her heart she knew that a great deal was gone.
More than that. Because, as her eyes started to scan, slicing through the fog, she realised that it wasn’t just the city structures or coveted resources that had been eradicated.
Something else was missing.
More static. More deceptions.
Kara had knelt in the ruins of Thanalder, she had felt the rubble of the planet’s largest city beneath her knees, recognising the scorch marks on the stone as her own deadly assault. That had been real. She’d been so ashamed, so disgusted, that she’d sent herself reeling into the sky. There was only so much that could have been seen from ground level, anyway.
Now, though, she had the perfect vantage to see it all.
As much as it hurt, she forced herself to keep looking beyond the fog, to see past her soft memory. The static hadn’t yet receded completely, and there were still pieces hidden from her, obscured in pockets of lost time.
She scratched at the surface of that memory, focusing harder and harder until her skull ached with every rock upturned. No longer did she lie foetal and numb in the darkness, no longer would she allow Father to dismantle her memory for his own gain. He had taken more from her than she had ever known and… and more still from the planets they had conquered.
When the static finally cleared, a chasm opened somewhere inside of Kara’s heart, mimicking that of the city-sized craters she could now see carved from the planet’s surface, left to sully the landscape below.
A shudder passed down her spine as she kept staring, willing herself to understand.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, something Kal-El had said to her struck again so suddenly, she nearly choked.
Are all the planets in the New Kryptonian Empire like this?
He had been right to question it, Kara realised dully. Father had promised her an Empire, a new Krypton that she’d be old enough to protect this time around. But… who was left here to protect? What had Father taken?
Keepsakes. Like hers.
Just, on a much grander scale.
Fury clogged her throat, then grief, then an unbearable agony.
Hypocrite! her mind screamed.
Father had let her fall in love with planet after planet, given her that freedom, only to take it away every time he’d obscured her mind. And, when she woke, the things she had loved were gone. A token in their place.
But what of Father’s tokens, what of Father’s cities? They weren’t hidden in shame behind a wall. They were proud markers of conquest. Trophies. Displayed, somehow…
How could he have them on display?
But Kara’s memories didn’t lie, not any longer, and she remembered the spires of the lost cities of Thanagar, Euphorix’s capitol of Aesad, and the densely populated forests on H’lven. Neatly tucked together beneath ornamental glass domes…
Kara shook her head. It didn’t matter. It couldn't. They were gone because of him. They were gone because of her…
How long until Father pitted Earth just as he had the others? What city might he spare for his collection, his Empire?
Kara thought at once of Jimmy Flamebird’s face, the kindness and honesty he had offered her, and remembered the feel of his hand in her own. A frail, human hand, not even capable of bending steel, but he had extended it to her just the same.
What would happen to him now? The planet she had barely made time for in her haste to visit alone. There was still so much to learn from it, but Father’s crystals would offer her no insight now. He would only fog her mind again. If she returned to him now, if he learned of her defiance, everything she had discovered would be lost to her.
Even without a gravitational force, Kara felt something solid ball inside her stomach, pulling her down from the navel.
She couldn’t go back. She couldn’t go forward, either. She was… alone.
As she curled back in on herself, desperate to drive her demons away, she didn’t think she’d ever felt this small. “Kal-El?” she asked the void, picturing his face in the spaces between broken memory. When that failed, her voice faltered. “Clark?”
Kara didn’t expect an answer when she whispered, “What do I do now?”
#my adventures with superman#maws#maws fanfiction#kara zor el#supergirl#clark kent#brainiac#okay we're posting something a bit different tonight#i had this idea in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone until i wrote it#and the show has gone at brainiac in a very interesting angle to the point i'm not even sure they'll touch on the whole Bottling Worlds#thing. but it's like one of my favourite supervillain moves ever so like. i decided to throw that in for this introspection piece#enjoy!#writing#maws writing#readmore +
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