#and the reason i havent left this time like i just didnt care to be added back was bc idc anymore like alsjfjfk im still in contact to

[infizero]

grgrhgahahh i wanna read more pokespe but i cant do it on my phone and im not unpacking my stuff until the morning

[snekdood]

wish i didnt hafta cut off my conservative family members but they were all so abusive that I can hardly tolerate being around them

[ki2rins]

⟢ lowkey - nsr

pairings: badboy! riki x fem! reader || fluff, crack || wc: 5k

synopsis: news flash! nishimura riki is finally mature enough to acknowledge his feelings for you and he wants to let you know! but what would he do? A. try to feed you? B. walk you home? C. many more. or D. all of the above? warnings: hes not really a badboy...just more of a get into fights/suspensions boy, loosely based / integrated from the anime - my little monster, highschool! au, petnames, playful banter, teasing, confident ni-ki, shy reader, swearing, - lmk if i missed out anything! playlist: lowkey - niki, moonstruck - enhypen, your eyes only - enhypen, is this love - XG rin's yap: gawddd first try at writing an actual fic, big thanks to bby who sent in the ask, ily smm <3 do let me know what yall think about it!

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nishimura riki or ni-ki was too boisterous. too boisterous for your calm, simple minded nature. he was noisy, you were quiet. he was sporty, you were not. he had a reputation that followed him wherever he went, while you preferred to stay low and blend into the background. yet, despite these stark differences, he always seemed to gravitate towards you. shocking you by leaving random candies on your desk, doodles on your notebook and even occasionally gives you a smile or two whenever your eyes meet. you thought to yourself, countless times even, on the reasons why ni-ki would shower you with these subtle affections. little do you know that the man, the myth himself, has a major crush on you. ni-ki took note of every simple detail about you. from how you’ll do your hair - a simple ponytail on mondays to thursdays and a small tidy bun on fridays since there was gym class. he also noticed how you’ll forget to have your lunch when you are caught up on annotating your textbook, and today was the day he spoke up about it.

ni-ki’s footsteps echoed through the classroom as the door swung open. his usual confident stride was back after his suspension, as if nothing has changed, though the whispers around him had already started. he flashed his signature smirk to the few people who dared make contact, his reputation clearly preceding him. most of the students avoided him, but not you. you didnt really have time to keep your head into these dramas, and you certainly didnt understand why everyone cared so much about his return. yet, for some reason, there he was, standing at the entrance of your usual seat. “you mind if i sit here?” ni-ki asked, his voice laced with a lazy confidence, like it wasnt even a question.

you blinked, trying not to show the hesitation in your eyes. the desk next to yours was the only one left open. you nodded, but the words caught in your throat as he slid into the seat without waiting for your approval. 

his eyes briefly scanned the open space on your desk - notes, pens, textbooks and the untouched lunch you had packed earlier. 

“you busy?” ni-ki asked, as if making small talk with you was his second nature. his tone was nonchalant, like he was speaking to someone he had known for years, even though you had barely exchanged a couple of sentences before. 

you glanced at him, then back at your notebook. “kind of.”  ni-ki hummed, playing with the contents in your pencil case. “kind of? looks more like youre drowning in notes.”

you sighed, placing your pen down. “its lunch period, if youre not here to study, why are you sitting here and bothering me? shouldnt you be in the cafeteria or something?” he leaned forward slightly, elbow propped on the desk, resting his chin on his fist. “but you havent eaten.” ni-ki said lazily. his eyes stared at your lunch then back at you. “how do you-” “you do this a lot, get too caught up in work, forget the time then boom - lunch period passes and your lunch gets forgotten.” your mind went blank upon hearing the words that just escaped from ni-ki’s mouth. he described that usual routine so perfectly that for a second you wondered - do doppelgangers exist in this world? you were so lost in your thoughts that you didnt realised until you heard the presence beside you speak up again.

 “eat.” ni-ki said as he nudged your lunchbox towards you. 

you hesitated, scanning his face for any sign of teasing, but he looked…oddly serious. it was strange, having someone notice such a small habit of yours, much less some like ni-ki. at that moment, you found yourself staring at him - from his jaw to the countless moles on his face, to his lazy-looking eyes and the stray strands of hair resting on his nose. damn. he look…good. 

“do you want me to feed you or something?” you blinked as you register his words. what in the world was he saying now? “come on yn, lunch period is ending in 10 minutes. chop chop.” ni-ki said as he took your lunchbox, opening it and passing you the sandwich you prepared for yourself earlier this morning, bringing it up to your lips. 

“i-i can eat it myself.” you snatched the sandwich away and turned the opposite reaction. taking a bite as you feel blood rushing up to your cheeks. 

upon seeing you shying away from him, ni-ki leaned back on his chair, arms crossed and a knowing smirk growing on his face. he admired the sight in front of him and it killed him to not take this chance to tease you even more, and what he says next really drove you insane. 

“good girl” 

then you choked.  ➽──────────────❥➽──────────────❥

you were so caught up in your thoughts that you barely noticed the bell ringing, signaling the end of class. as you packed your thing into your bag, your mind drifted back to earlier - specifically, the moment when ni-ki pointed out that habit of yours. 

“but you havent eaten” 

“do you want me to feed you or something?” 

“good girl” 

your cheeks warmed again at the thought of his words. he was right, as much as it embarrassed you. it wasnt the first time you had forgotten to eat, but hearing him call you out on it felt different somehow - like there was a tinge of affection wrapped up in those sweet words. 

as you were wrapping up your thoughts, you attempted to slip out of your seat, but you froze when ni-ki’s voice reached your ears. 

“ready to go?” 

you turned your head, confused. “ready to go where?” 

his smirk remained as he gave you a nonchalant shrug. “home.” and that was how you suddenly found yourself walking side by side with ni-ki. 

you cant lie, you dont have many friends. you chose to be part of a small, quiet circle that only hung out every once in awhile, mostly just to study or to catch up. your day to day was simple and predictable - go to school, proceed home, study then lastly, sleep. and so, it repeats again and again. 

is he doing all these out of pity? is he…looking down on me? 

it was unplanned, uncalled for even. you cant help but wonder if his actions covered up for any malicious intentions. but here you were, leaving the classroom and walking down the hallway, your footsteps in sync despite the silence hanging between you as you both made your way out of school. you glanced up at him, his hands shoved casually into his pockets, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. 

“so, whats your deal?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. 

ni-ki raised an eyebrow, glancing at you sideways. “my deal? you have been avoiding me.” 

you stopped walking for a brief second. “i havent been-”

“yeah, you have.” he cut in smoothly. “you have been acting different lately, quieter. you dont usually keep to yourself. 

fuck. why is he noticing every single thing? 

but you could feel your heart skip a beat at his words. was it that obvious? you tried to brush it off, but his presence was so overwhelming, it was hard to hide anything. you forced a casual shrug. “its nothing.” 

ni-ki raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “uh huh. sure. you have been way too quiet. no more random laughter with friends in class. not raising hands to answer questions anymore. you are usually…not this distant.” 

you tried to think of a response but found yourself coming up short. was he always this perceptive? or were you just that readable? 

“what about you?” putting up a more defensive front after being called out. “you dont exactly make it easy for people to talk to you.” 

he just gave you a lazy grin. “i dont need people to talk to me. i have got everything i need.”

you blinked, unsure how to respond to that. his self-confidence, or maybe arrogance, was something that always threw you off. it was like he know he had the power to make anyone talk, but didnt care enough to do so. 

“so, whats the plan after school?” ni-ki asked, his voice casual again, like the conversation had never left that easy, confident tone. 

“im going to study.” you said quickly, almost instinctively, though your thoughts were drifting to the last few hours of class. 

“of course you are. you always study, but you need a break.” he said as he turned, walking backwards now, his gaze never leaving you. “maybe i’ll join you someday, keep you company while youre at it. who knows, maybe i could even tutor you.” 

your heart did a strange flip at his words, but you tried not to show it. “yeah, right. you spend more time being suspended than actually being at school, and you think you can tutor me?” 

he shrugged, as if the idea didnt faze him at all. “well if you never try, you’ll never know.” he shot you a wink. “the invitation is always up, you could just give me a ring or drop me a text whenever.” 

you hummed, trying to stay calm while still processing the casual ‘invitation’ ni-ki had offered to you. you wanted to snap something back, but the air between you was thick with something you didnt quite understand. was this the way he usually operated? you couldnt tell if he was serious or if he was just messing with you.

the walk home continued in silence, but your thoughts were racing. ni-ki was… unpredictable, and that made you nervous in a way you werent used to.

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and so, the weekend came along and not once did you leave ni-ki’s mind. 

it wasnt like he didnt have other things to do. he had a routine - friends, his usual chaos - but somehow his thoughts kept drifting back to you. the way you blushed when he teased you about your lunch, the way you avoided meeting his gaze and the strange tension between you both that had been hanging ever since that walk home. 

he didnt get it. you were different from the usual crowd he interacted with. quiet, reserved. he was used to people talking around him, trying to get his attention, but you…you didnt try at all. 

maybe thats what made you so interesting. and alluring. 

he found himself staring at his phone more than usual, waiting for a message from you. he had dropped the invitation, and part of him thought you had just ignored it. but another part of him wonder if maybe, just maybe you would reach out. 

his fingers hovered over the keys, typing and deleting messages, not sure how to play this out. he wasnt used to feeling like this, like there was something worth waiting for. 

with a frustrated breath, he tapped out a quick message, keeping it casual, trying to convince himself. 

okay, you got this. just send the message. easy-peasy, no pressure. 

he stared at the screen for a moment longer, then, with a sigh, he sent it. 

ni-ki hey, its ni-ki just thought i'll remind you the offer is still open ;)

ni-ki stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity, waiting for a reply. his thumb hovered over the phone, already anticipating the silent rejection or the awkward radio silence that might follow. you see, ni-ki is a boy who dreams big, but he does not know how to achieve his dreams. he is not sure on the ways to approach or even to impress you. he is just placing his bets on the weird and awkward gestures he does to catch your attention, and something about his gut told him this time - that it he has a shot. 

still, he tried not to get this hopes up too much. 

the minutes dragged on, and his eyes flicked back to his phone again and again, even though he knew it was ridiculous. 

finally, the screen lit up. his heart skipped a beat. 

it was a reply. 

yn thanks for the reminder i'll think abt it

his lips quirked into a small, knowing smile. it wasnt exactly a ‘yes’, but it wasnt a ‘no’ either. but he was determined to make you say ‘yes’. 

ni-ki well if ure gonna think abt it u might as well take me up on the offer

he hit send, then tossed the phone to the side, trying to distract himself with anything else. but as always, his mind drifted back to you. was he coming off too strong? was he annoying you?

a ping sounded, and he instantly grabbed his phone.

yn youre serious about this huh?

ni-ki smirked, tapping a finger to his chin like he was trying to play it cool. he then replied quickly.

ni-ki i mean it wasnt a joke in the first place besides im pretty sure i could teach u a thing or two

yn im not so sure abt that im fine studying on my own

he grinned, sensing an opportunity.

ni-ki i know u'll say that but we both know ure not the greatest at keeping up w anyth and everyth remember what happened during that lunch period? classic example of u getting lost in your work dont think i didnt notice

there was a long pause, and ni-ki started to think he might have pushed it too far. but then, his phone buzzed again.

yn youre really observant huh? you sound very much like a stalker but abt ur offer im not sure abt it im not yk the best study buddy

ni-ki laughed to himself before replying almost instantly.

ni-ki ure prob right but thats why u need me and yk me irl so i cant be deemed as a stalker :) plus i promise i wont bite unless u want me to

ni-ki cringed at the last part but he didnt want to delete it. thinking to let you decide how to comprehend that.

yn :l fine i'll give it a shot but dont expect me to enjoy it

ni-ki's grin widened. he had won this round.

ni-ki deal see? that wasnt so hard

yn whatever i'll see u tmr then mr tutor

he laughed before typing out his last reply.

ni-ki cant wait to see u tmr promise it'll be fun :)

once done, he leaned back against his bed, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips. he wasnt sure what he had been expecting, but the fact that you agreed made it feel like progress. it wasnt much, but for ni-ki, it was a step forward and a win, is a win.

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you found yourself in the strangest places at the oddest times.

and here you are, standing outside ni-ki’s doorstep on a bright and sunny, sunday afternoon.

honestly you didnt expected yourself to agree to his offer at all, but something about his persistent messages and the way he would playfully pushed you to study with him had gotten to you. so here you were - standing in front of a you never thought you would be near, at a time you definitely never saw coming, door.

you took a deep breath and rang the doorbell, wincing at how loud it sounded against the silence of the street. your thoughts were scattered, your mind racing through the worst-case scenarios. what if he gave you the wrong address? what if hes not home? you swallowed hard, trying to shake off the wave of nervousness crashing over you. 

just then, the door opened with a soft creek, there he was - ni-ki, standing in the doorway, donning just a simple tank top with sweats, greeting you with that familiar cocky smile on his face. 

“hey” he said, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. “you actually showed up.”

you couldnt tell if his smirk was a teasing one or was he genuinely impressed at the fact that you were standing right infront of his doorstep. either way, it did little to calm your nerves. 

“well” you cleared your throat. “i said i would, didnt i?” 

he grinned wider, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “i’ll believe it when i see it.” 

you rolled your eyes, trying to hide the flush creeping up your neck. “so uh. where are we studying?” you asked, doing your best to sound casual. 

he stepped aside, gesturing you to come in. “follow me. i have a study spot all set up.” 

as you entered, the tension in your chest started to ease slightly. it was just studying right, right? you could handle this. but still, you couldnt shake the feeling that something had shifted between the two of you ever since that walk home. 

the study session wasnt anything out of the ordinary - at least, thats what you tried to tell yourself. you and ni-ki were seated side by side, books scattered across the desk, his room quiet except for the occasional rustling of papers and the soft tapping of your pens. 

you tried to focus on your notes, but it wasnt easy when he kept glancing at you. his gaze was so intense, and it made your stomach do these weird flips you couldnt explain. every time you looked to your side, he’ll be looking at you with that half-smirk of his. 

“need help with that equation?” ni-ki asked casually, leaning over to look at your paper, your shoulders making contact, making you tensed. 

“i-i got it.” you stuttered, quickly writing down the the answer and shifting your body aside, slightly tucking yourself inwards.

he chuckled softly, clearly amused by your reaction. “relax cutie, im just making sure youre not stressing too much.”

your heart beat faster at his words, especially by the petname he just called you. it wasnt the first time he had said something to put you at ease, but somehow it felt different today. you couldnt help but notice how gentle his tone was, how patient he was with you. 

there was a brief silence before you felt him brush his fingers against your cheek as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. his touch was light, but it sent an unexpected shiver down your spine. 

“youre too close.” you muttered, trying to distract yourself by scribbling down more notes, but it was hard when his hand lingered in the air, still so close. 

ni-ki didnt seem to mind the tension. instead, he leaned back in his chair, eyes never leaving yours. “youre cute when youre flustered, you know that?” 

you tried not to blush, but the heat creeping up your neck was unavoidable. “stop messing around.” 

“im not messing around.” he replied softly, his voice suddenly more serious. he leaned towards you, resting his elbows on the desk, his gaze softening. “you know, i have been thinking about something.”

your eyes met his, and for a second, it felt like the whole world stopped. you felt nervous, your chest thumped in anticipation. you didnt know what he was about to say, but something told you it was important. 

“wh-what?” you asked, barely above a whisper. 

he hesitated for a moment, his eyes flicking to your lips before returning to your eyes.

“i like you. a lot. like, more than just a study buddy. im not sure if you could tell, but i have been trying to get closer to you and i was praying all my gestures wouldnt shoo you away instead.” 

your breath caught in your throat. you had not expect this moment, your heart raced, and you could feel the color rising in your cheeks, “ni-ki…” 

he reached out, his thumb brushing the back of your hand gently. “i know this might sound sudden, but i like the way you are. quiet, thoughtful. you dont make a big deal out of anything. and…i think youre a lot more than you give yourself credit for.” 

there was an awkward pause, and you werent sure what to say. you had been so focused on the fact that he was always the cool, aloof guy, that you had not noticed how serious he had been about this whole thing. 

you did reciprocate his feelings back, but there was just one thing that was stopping you from doing so - his reputation. he was the headstrong boy who gets into fights and treats the world as his playground. you, on the other hand, were just an average girl exploring life one step at the time. both of you were polar opposites, and that scared you. 

people had warned you about him before - teachers who sighed at the look of his bruised and battered sight, classmates who gossiped about his fights, the way he always seemed to get himself into troubles and brush it off like it was nothing. ‘he doesnt care about anything’ they said. ‘hes just looking for fun.’ but sitting here now, with the way he was looking at you, speaking so softly, so genuinely…you werent sure if that was true anymore. 

before you could summarised your thoughts, ni-ki broke the silence, his voice playful again but with that soft edge of sincerity. “dont worry. im not expecting anything, not from you anyway. but i thought you should know.”

those four words that he slipped in hurt you in ways you couldnt explain. you wanted to admit your feelings for him but the fear still stays. however, something inside of you just wanted to give it a shot, not caring if you would get hurt in the process. life is full of growth anyways right?

“ni-ki” you said, still unsure of how to phrase your words. 

he hummed, leaning close to you. “yeah?” 

“im scared, but i want to try…wanna make this work. make this work with…you.”

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you and ni-ki did not settle on any label of your current in-between-friendship-situationship-relationship-state. instead, you both agreed to take this one step at the time, keeping things lowkey.

so when he texted you on a saturday night with a simple “wanna go out?”, you werent sure if he meant a date or just another random meet-up. but then again, did it matter? 

the waves crashed gently against the shore as the two of you walked side by side, your footsteps sinking into the sand. the beach was quiet, save for the distant laughter of a few night strollers and the occasional rustling of the breeze. it wasnt planned, wasnt fancy - just the two of you, sneakers in hand, the salty air clinging to your skin. 

“didnt think you would actually show up.” ni-ki mused, kicking a stray shell along the sand. his tone was light, but you caught a small smile tugging at his lips. 

you scoffed, hugging your arms. “you do realise you texted me at, like, ten, right?” 

“yeah, but youre here anyways.” he nudged you with his elbow. “you just cant resist me huh?” 

you rolled your eyes, but your heart betrayed you, skipping a beat at the way he said it - so effortlessly, so naturally, like this thing between you had always been there. 

the night stretched on as you walked, exchanging quiet conversation and playful remarks, but beneath it all, there was something else - something unspoken, lingering between your words - until ni-ki finally brought it up. 

“you still scared?” he stopped to face you, his voice soft and you could tell he was serious, no teasing, no laughter. he didnt elaborate, but you knew exactly what he meant. 

you hesitated, staring out at the dark horizon, “a little.” 

ni-ki hummed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “good. means you actually care.” 

he said it so simply, yet it made your chest tighten. you glanced at him, searching his face, and for once, he wasnt smirking. and in that moment you could tell -  the facade was gone, he wasnt ni-ki but riki, just a boy looking at you like you were the only person on the stretch of sand. 

you both now settled to sit on the sand, hearing the waves clash against each other as you both kept quiet. you studied his face once again, ni-ki hugged his knees, toes playing with the sand, the usual smirk on his face replaced with a faint frown. you could tell that he was distracted and for the first time, you felt his confidence falter and it was worrying you. his eyes didnt hold their playful spark, they were distant, thoughtful. you couldnt but ask. 

“is everything okay?” your voice was soft, careful, unsure if you were stepping into something you shoudnt. 

ni-ki looked at you, his expression unreadable for a moment. then, he sighed. “you ever wonder if people only see what they want to see?”

“what do you mean?” you blinked, processing his words, unsure of the hidden meaning behind his question. 

he ran a hand through his hair, letting out another frustrated sigh. “i mean…im this ‘bad boy’ that everyone perceives me to be. i get into fights, i skip classes, i dont care about anything or anyone. people see that, and they think the know who i am. hell, even i have convinced myself that its easier to just be this…persona. its just easier to let people think im this heartless guy than to show them that…im more than that.” 

his words tugged at your heartstrings. you knew the troubles, but you never understood it, not until this moment. the playful, cocky ni-ki you knew, that chased you, was suddenly nowhere to be found. instead, you saw someone who was burdened by an image that never felt like it fit. 

“youre not heartless.” you said, your voice steady but filled with sincerity. without thinking, you reached out and gently placed your hand on his, the warmth of your touch grounding him in the quiet stillness of the night. “you never were.” 

ni-ki looked down at your hand, gaze softening. “you dont get it. you dont know what its like to always be the guy everyone expects to mess up. i even made you second-guess this whole situation didnt i?” he turned to face you, eyes locked on yours. 

you tried to search for the usual playful spark in his eyes, but it was gone. there was only vulnerability. he was no longer the confident, untouchable ni-ki, but just a boy who had learned to hide behind walls. his gaze searched yours, and for a moment, you felt the wright of his insecurities pressing down on you. 

you couldnt help but feel guilty. you couldnt help but blame the world for putting so much on his shoulders. for making him self-doubt himself, for making you doubt him. 

“you dont have to be that guy for anyone.” you said, your voice soft but firm. “youre more than what people think. i see you. the real you.” 

ni-ki looked at you, his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but didnt know how. his usual confidence seemed like a distant memory now, replaced by a quiet, raw sincerity that made your heart ache for him. 

but to ni-ki, that was all he needed to hear from you, that was all he wanted from you. 

acceptance. 

ni-ki remained still for a moment, his eyes fixed on yours, as if searching for a hint of insecurity in your words. when he found none, a flicker of something softer passed through his expression. the tightness in his shoulders eased, but he still didnt smile - not in the way he usually did. 

instead, he simple nodded, his voice barely across a whisper. “i guess…i have been waiting for someone to see me like that.” 

the words were simple, but they carried a weight that you werent sure you were reading for. it was as if, for the first time, ni-ki was letting down the walls he had carefully built around himself, trusting you to catch him if he fell. 

you didnt hesitate, you reached out, gently brushing your fingers against his cheek. “i see you, riki. just you. no one else.” 

his eyes softened, the guarded look that had been there moments ago replaced with something much more vulnerable. the usual cocky grin was nowhere to be found, but there was something more meaningful in its place - a raw, unspoken gratitude. 

slowly, ni-ki leaned forward, his breath warm against your face as he closed the distance between you. it wasnt fast, and it wasnt rushed. it was a quiet, tender movement, as though he was giving you the choice, the space to decide. 

and for once, you didnt need time to think. you leaned into him, the kiss gentle at first, as if both of you were testing the waters - treading carefully. but as the kiss deepened, the walls between you both seemed to crumble further, and in that moment, you realised that despite everything - the doubts, the insecurities, the fear - you werent as different as you thought. you were both just two people trying to figure things out, finding solace in each other’s presence. 

the world around you faded. the waves, the sand, the night - it all disappeared as ni-ki’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer, as if he, too, had been waiting for something to finally feel real. 

when the kiss ended, you both lingered in the stillness for a moment, breathing in the night air. ni-ki pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, a playful spark finally flickering back to life in his eyes. 

“so…are we, like…boyfriend and girlfriend now?” he asked, his voice light but with a hopeful smile. 

you blinked, surprised by the directness, but then you smiled, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “youre asking me?” 

ni-ki raised an eyebrow, teasing. “well, im pretty sure i have earned it.” 

you rolled your eyes but couldnt stop yourself from smiling, the warmth between you undeniable. “i guess so.” 

he grinned and pulled you closer, the playful glint in his eyes still there, but there was something more sincere behind it now, “good, because im not going anywhere.” 

you leaned into him again, realising that whatever this was between you, it was real. no labels, no expectations - just the two of you, finally figuring things out together.

© ki2rins 2025, please do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[sturnalsm]

𝑰 𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑴𝑼𝑪𝑯 𝑰 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼

(M.S)

ˢᵘᵐᵐᵃʳʳʸ: ʸᵒᵘ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵃᵗᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ᵉⁿᵉᵐⁱᵉˢ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᵉⁿˢⁱᵒⁿ ᵇᵉᵗʷᵉᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒᵒ ⁱˢ ᵇⁱᵍᵍᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᵃᵗᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵉᵃᶜʰᵒᵗʰᵉʳ

!! WARNINGS !! : smut, choking, use of Y/N, pet names, swearing.

you loved hanging out with the triplets, thry are very good friends, except for... Matthew. you cant stand eachother. everytime you are around eachother you just wish you werent there, he was pissing you off its like he was doing it on purpose everytime, sometimes even his brothers had to make him shut up cause you were losing control.

but tonight they decided to invite you to their house to watch movies and just chat because you havent seen eachother the last month, they were in Boston because they wanted to spend a little more time with their family, that warmed your heart even more.

you were very excited to see them, but the thing was.. Matt was picking you up and the reason behing it? he's the only one who can drive. but even tho he was coming that didnt back you up you didn't care much

you were spending hours thinking on what to wear, but at the end you just decided to throw on a skirt and a crop top, you would've went with sweatpants and tshirt if the triplets' house wasnt always hot as fuck but oh well.

Matt was late once again, so you had to text him to make sure he is alive , even tho you didnt wanted to do that

you leaned against the front door waiting for him when you heard a knocking on your door, you opened the door "one second i need to get my charger" you ran to your room to get it and in a few seconds you were back eith Matt leaning against the door frame not saying a word. you looked up at him as you walked, he closed the door and you threw the keys at him so he locks it.

you walked over the car sitting on the front seat waiting for Matt. he sat in the care without saying a single word started driving to his house. you didnt said anything either he was already pissing you off by trying to act tough so you got your phone and started scrolling trough tik tok.

"okay Matt why are you trying to act tough now? whats up with you the last 2 years i really don't understand why and how could you have so much hate for me?" you finally speak looking at him. "you dont talk to me you barley listen when i talk? whats happening like what did i do to you?"

he looks at you "whats up with me Y/N? you are the one who told me to fuck off and left me for that jerk in 10th grade? you were the one who was ignoring me in the hallways of the school? and then you're asking whats up with me?!" he says with his anger in his voice growing bigger "Matt are you a kid? that was a long time ago, its been more than 3 years i already broke up with him whats your fucking deal?" "no Y/N because you have no idea how fucking stupid i felt after i confessed my feelings for you infront of the whole class just so you leave me for this fucking idiot."

you felt bad, you really did, but that was a long time ago and you had no idea that he still thinks about it, you also didn't knew that it broke his heart? "i dont even know why my brothers still hangout with you after that and why i always have to be in their plans with you when you literally..when you fucking broke my heart Y/N. he was litereally an idiot? he didnt treat you the way you deservedto be treated and all i wanted was you. and i hate how much i want you since then.." "okay Matt..look im sorry for what i did, i was in love with him okay? i didnt knew it was going to and that it did break your heart.." "it doesn't matter." he said focusing back on the road "what do you mean it doesn't matter you are the kne who bringed it up?!" if he didnt stopped talking now he would've started screaming so you wrre hlad he stopped.

the ride to the house was silent because of the talk you had before, nothing new tho. you didnt knew if you wanted to punch him or yourself. you were mad at your self of course but..you never knew he felt like that , he never speaks about his feelings unless yall are in argument, sometimes it feels like yall are a married couple from 2 years, fighting everytime they get the opportunity to. but in reality you couldn't stand eachother.

you were already infront of the house , Matt opened the door so he can get in he didnt even hold it for you, again nothing new. you came in and right when you got up the stairs you saw Nick. you were very good friends with him, he was amazing and you could always talk with him about anything you want, he is the bestest best friend you've ever had. "NICKKKK HIIII" you ran and hugged him. "HEY GIRLLL, what took you so long?" "oh well Matthew was latr once again" as you said that Matt rolls his eyes mocking you. "nothing new" Nick says laughing "Chris went to get snacks cause we forgot, he should be here soon"

"okay so what are we gonna watch, lets make it quick im tired" Matt says rolling his eyes once again. "oh and why are you so tried what have you been doing all day?" you ask jokingly. "none of you business" he smiles sarcastically. you roll your eyes sitting on the sofa. Matt sits next to you, you're surprised but you dont put so much attention to it. you give him a suspicious look. you open your phone so you can search for movies. "OHMYGOD" Nick yells from the kitchen causing you to jump from the loud noise. "I FOUND A MOVIE, LETS WATCH WHITE CHICKS?!" "never heard of it" Matt says with tought tone "well too bad Matt we are gonna watch this" you pat his head as you get ip to get a pepsi, he rolld eyes ONCE AGAIN.

as you open the fridge you hear footsteps "that must be Chris" Nick says and you look iver the door of the fridge seeing Chris with 2 bags in his hand. "hey Chrisss" you go and hug him. "heyyy Y/N, okay so i bought 3 bags of chips, 5 pepsis, 2 doctor pepers and 2 root bears is that good?" "its great" Nick says "give me the bags" Chris hands the bags to Nick and he opend everything. "so we decided we are going to watch White Chicks" you open your pepsi as you take your seat next to Matt "not WE, but Nick and Y/N." Matt says as you roll your eyes "okay tough guy"

Nick and Chris open their drinks and sit on the sofa next to you and Matt with the bowl of chips. Matt gazes at you , you feel him looking at you so you look back, he smirks and gives his attention back to the movie.

TIME SKIP!

the movie was very good and fun, you all laughed even Matt even tho he tried to hide it. it was like 11pm you were very tired so were the boys. you went upstairs to Nicks room because you have a toothbursh there and slippers too, in case you come to sleepover like tonight. you went to the bathroom to brush your teeth and take a shower.

you didnt went down stairs again you were too tired to think of anything else but to lay on Nicks bed and fall asleep. Nick came at the room not long after you layed down, he just looked at you and went on his side of the bed.

you were lost in thoughts, you still were thinking about the conversation you had with Matt earlier, it was driving you insane, you knew he hated you, but tonight there was something different about his behavior. "shit" you said to yourself as you buried your head in the pillow trying to fall asleep. it was hard to stop thinking about those things, was it your fault? maybe. but you never knew that it would and that id did break his heart, and the fact that you broke his heart breaks yours.

you didnt knew when you fell asleep but you woke up after a while , your phone was down stairs so you totally lost what time is it you had to go down get your phone and drink some water, you felt like your tounge was going to fall out. for the first time it was cold in thr house, probably because they left the windows open. you were already down stairs running the water when you hear footsteps behind you "Nick im sorry i woke you up i was ju-" you feel someone's hands wrapping around your waist behind you "its not Nick sweetheart" you recognize that voice. it was Matt. you gasped and tried to run away but he was too strong. "Matt what the fuck are you doing" you turn around now facing him. "im not doing anything" he smirks at you as he grabs your chin. "what-" you say as he cuts you off "remember our talk and how you apologized to me? well i dont think i accept that apologize..i think you should try another way.." he looks you dead in the eyes as he licks your lips "get on your knees. Now. i know youre all wet under this little skirt, why havent you changed it sweetheart? who sleeps with a skirt? its like you're asking for it.." he says. you stay in shock looking at him. "what if i dont want to hm?" you smirk at him looking dead in the eyes back. "i dont remember asking you if you want" he grabs your chin tighter "on your knees now. or do you want me to bend you over on the table and fuck you until you cant feel your legs anymore?"

you look up at him as you slowly go down on your knees holding onto his legs "good girl" he smirks licking his lips. you take off his belt unbuttoning his pants. ha takes off his boxers and you smirk "dont tease me doll.." you dont waste any second wrapping your lips around his cock making him moan. "oh fuck.." you go faster causing him to moan ever louder and uncontrollably. he starts moving his hips basically fucking your mouth, you gag on his cock but you dont stop. you feel he is close so thats why you stop. "oh you fucking whore.., get up." he says as he looks at you standing up. he turns you around bending you over on the table, taking off your pants and panties in one go. "already so wet for me, is that what i do to you, baby hm?" you nod and push your hips begging him to fuck you already "no no, not yet, you are a fucking tease" "Matt plea-" you cover your mouth as he starts eating you out from behind.

"oh shit Matt.." your legs are already shaking from feeling his tounge working down on you. you were close, your eyes blured everytime he sucked onto your clit, your legs were si weak you almost fell to the ground. you moan unstoppable. "shut up, doll, they are gonna gear us" he says as he spanks your ass. you were about to cum but then he removed his tounge. he knew what you wanted, and he was going to give it to you. he stroked himself a few times before slamming into you without any warning. you screamed. "shut the fuck up, you are not good for daddy right now and im gonna fuck you so hard you wont feel any part of your body princess" he says as he starts going deeper inside you. "fas- faste..r please matt" you needed his cock. you've been dreaming about this moment forever. "oh you think you can take me hm? take this then." he slams inside you that hard and deep you swear you felt him in your stomach.

he knows what he is doing, and he claims your body as his, if he wants something from you he will get it and nothing could stop him. he starts going with brutal force causing you to moan loud and scream his name. "matt im going to c-..matt.." "not yet princess. you are not going to cum until i tell you to" he drove you insane , he was litereally perfect every single thing about this man was perfect and you were here for it. he was going as fast as possible, everytime he pounded into you your vision blured. you couldn't even moan anymore he was using you as your personal fucktoy. "matt...pl please" "please what sweetheart, use your words?" he knew exactly what you wanted to, but he was going to make you beg for it. "i need to cum please matt.." he didnt say anything he just kept pounding into you. he toom your shirt off squeezing your boobs. kissing your skin, sucking on your neck. he started choking you. he wrapped his big hand around your neck driving you even more insane. "you want to cum huh? hmm.." with one last trust he cummed deep inside you. "go ahead make a mess on my cock baby" he says out of breath.

"you need to be cleaned tho.." he smirks as he turns your around to face him, he picks you up placing you on the table. he goes down to eat you out one more time, he cant get enough of you. "matt i ca- cant pleas-." his tounge slides slowly in and iut of you then he puts his fingers inside of you, hitting that perfect spot that made you go insane. "fuck you taste so good." he got out his fingers out of you licking them. he got up and started kissing you passionately sliding his tounge inside your mouth.. "you are amazing" he says as he smiles at you and kisses your forehead. "i love you Y/N" "i love you Matt.."

☆~~~~~~~☆

IM SORRY FOR BEING SO INACTIVE I HAD VERY IMPORTANT TESTS TO TAKE AT SCHOOL AND NOW SCHOOL IS FINISHED IM SUMMER BREAK AND IM GOING TO TRY TO POST MORE OFTEN ❤️‍🩹❤️

[cupiohearts]

I WISH YOU LOVE ! - reminiscing with gun.

(cant catch me now series). GUN VER. dg ver. goo ver

they see you everywhere. james, jonggun, joongoo. they find bits and pieces of you lying around in their pockets, their houses and memories. it depends on which one it is which scene they see you in.

for GUN, he cant figure out for the life of anyone why they would wish someone that moved on in life the best of luck. he was a selfish man. when you disappeared from him, he mutters bitterly to himself wishing curses upon your name. the tear drops on the letter you wrote to him being the symbolism behind it all.

why would he want you to do well without him? why did you have to leave him?

did you not care as much as you said you did? he furrows his eyebrow. taking another drag out of his cigarette while he watches the stupid couple on the street pick out matching items for each other.

"jonggun! jonggun! look come here! hurry up!" you hiss at him as you press your face against the glass of a window. it was the pet adoption center. a calico cat taking a nap in the window as you cood at it.

that was the ugliest cat hes ever seen. it's eyes looked a bit too similar to the one you always give him when you want him to do something ridiculous for you.

"its cute" he gruffly says. you raise an eyebrow at him and made a face "youre a big fat liar. when we grow old with joongoo and james! we should all get a cat together!"

you giggle as you wiggled your finger at the cat. your breath fogging up the glass and when you pulled away he could see a slight bit of lipgloss- or lip tint- or whatever you were wearing on your lips that left it all glossy and shimmery left on the window.

he didnt say anything about it. he probably shouldve. you left the window dirty with your makeup. the same lips he imagined himself kissing from to time.

he thinks again. gun is a selfish man. when he read the letter you gave him, he thinks to himself for a far longer period of time than what he would appreciate.

he picks up the small camera you left behind in your apartment. he kept it with him for some reason. it was to keep videos and photos of yourself so he wont forget all of the times hes had with you.

"gun stop! stop! stop- what in the world happened here?!" your voice can be heard from behind the camera. the camera work a bit shaky as you walk closer to the restaurant.

there were a lot of bodies on the floor. a lot. "did you take them all down by yourself?" you ask him. you already knew the answer. he didnt need to respond but he did "yes"

you let out a deep sigh "this was supposed to be a cute video! you just ruined it. i wanted to send my mom and dad videos of me while im still here!"

you never sent it. he almost wished you did. so your parents knew what your friends were in korea. gangsters hanging out with the most.. sane one. sane is a strong word. hed think more like you were the glue.

you held everyone together, but at the same time. you were the one keeping them in the past.

that wasnt what he thought as he read your note though.

while he reading the shaky lines with splotchy text. the tears you left on the paper made it all crumbly and the words were hard to read.

he could only wish you the worst time without him. you better not be happier than you were with him. thats how you made him feel. he felt like the vines growing around the fence around you. his growth was hindered by the boundaries you had. if you werent there, he wouldve probably never grown in the first place, but you were also the reason he couldnt get better.

even as he read the lines 'jongun, you are the one who destroyed me the most.' he felt a small smile come to his face. he really is the most selfish person he knew.

sooooo... im here. I DID THE SECONDPARTY YIPPEE 😋😋 is it messy idk

i havent proof read so im assuming its ok. if its ooc mb brother.

their personalities are hard to capture anyways live laufh love the lookism blondes <3 the hottest in the game frl

[vividraft]

just one last time ✧˖*°࿐

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gn!assistant!reader x diluc

⇢ ˗ˏˋ summary: dilucs appreciation for you faded, and when he lashes out at you for no particular reason, he immediately regrets it

⇢ ˗ˏˋ important notes: this is a repost from my old account (@/rainstops)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ a/n: i dont like my old posts (cries)

old post master list tba !

another day, another hour, another minute and another second of diluc trying to focus on his work, but no matter how long or how hard he tried, he just could not focus. that was until he heard a knock on the door to his office. 

"come in", he sighed. 

you entered his office, with a cup of coffee in your left hand. 

"you havent left your office in a while, make sure to take breaks every once in a while, diluc", you suggested. you used to call him master diluc, but he insisted that you would just call him diluc. 

"thanks [name]", diluc replied and took the coffee with graditute.

it almost seemed like you always knew exactly what he needed.

so why did it have to come to this?

again, diluc spend hours on end on his paperwork. frustrated, once again. 

and again you were the one knocking on the door.

"come in", he muttered the words. 

when you entered the room, you were met with a diluc who had his face burried in his hands. 

"diluc, are you okay? can i help you with anything? i could-"

"no [name]", he sighed. "just tell me what you need", diluc cut you off. 

"oh well i was just checking up on you, because i know you tend to overwork yourself, so i just-"

"well if its nothing then just leave", diluc cut you off a second time. 

you watched his hands ball into fists.

"...okay", you did what he wished for, even if something inside you hurt, when he rejected your help so very crude. but you managed to convince yourself that it was just frustration from working so much. but then why did it hurt like this? 

you were very well aware that you were just his assistant, but sometimes you dared to imagine you were more than that. those wishes and dreams were left unspoken, even after years of knowing diluc.

but it still hurt so much.

what you werent prepared for, was how many times situations like this would occur. his ways of telling you to leave him alone got more and more impolite, almost insulting at this point. all you wanted was to help, yet diluc did not understand your intentions. or maybe he didnt want to understand them. or maybe he just didnt care enough. no matter what it was, it was always the same. you offered your help, and he rejected. everyday it was like opening an old wound once again and putting salt in it.

one last try.

that was what he would get.

a knock, and another one. they sounded hesitant, but diluc paid no attention to that. 

"come in", the same words used over and over again. 

"you have been working in here for over seven hours now, you should take a break its not good for your health", your body flinched, when you heard diluc slam a fist on his table. 

"oh my god [name]. every day you come in here saying the same things! how many times do i have to tell you that you cant-", this time you cut him off. 

"that i cant do anything? is that what you were going to say? are you going to tell me to leave like every other day? diluc all i want is to help you. its not my fault that you overwork yourself so much that you ignore who actually cares about you. and yes i do care about you, i dont just do this because its my job", as you were finally letting all those words out of your system, an irritated stare was lying on your face. this was the first time in weeks, diluc has looked at you again. your eyes were no longer filled with passion. its like they were replaced with those hurt eyes. your body was tense, and although diluc finally noticed all those things, it seemed he had no words for you. 

seriously? 

you just told him how you felt, and he still ignored you like an irrelevant nobody. 

"i really like you diluc, i really do but.."

dilucs body tensed up upon hearing those words leave your lips. his heart had a reaction to it he never felt before.

"it doesnt seem like neither your heart nor you seem to care enough to reply to me", and with that, you left with quiet steps and closed the door behind you.

diluc was in a daze, and stared at the door you closed behind you for at least another 5 minutes.

he noticed something long ago. he noticed whenever you entered a room, it seemed to light up. he noticed how whenever you saw him your eyes lit up. he noticed how whenever you ate something you liked, the corners of your mouth lifted before you could say something. and so many more things, which would take hours to list. 

but most of all, he noticed how much he needed you.

and now he notices that once again.

suddenly he remembers all the times he was rude to you, whenever you asked to help him. he missed those before, but now theyre coming to him again.

he looked for you, and with every second he couldnt find you, the pit in his stomach grew quicker than he could find you.

"ah! master diluc! are you looking for [name]?", one of his maids approached him, not noticing how stressed he was.

"Yes! yes, do you know where they are?"

"well, not exactly, but they told me they were going on a walk", the maid repeated what you had told her. she also noticed your dull eyes rather quickly, so she let you go, agreeing that it would be good for you.

"Thank you!", diluc replied, as he was already hurriedly heading towards the door.

as soon as he stepped outside, he noticed how hard it would be to find you. you could be anywhere, in any direction. 

then he suddenly remembers a faint interaction you both had. you remeber telling him, that whenever you didnt know where else to go, you went to starsnatch cliff. he remembers you rambling on and on about how the name fits the cliff so perfectly, because whenever you were there at night, the stars felt so close as if you could just snatch them. the red heads feet guided him right to where he suspected you could be, and he was right. there you were lying flat on your back, arms streched away from your body.

it seemed to diluc that you havent noticed his quiet steps in the grass yet, but you noticed long ago. you were never going to admit this, but you were actually hoping that he would find you.

"what do you want", you asked while sitting up, with your back still turned to him. 

dilucs breaths were deep and heavy, since he went here as fast as he could. 

now was the moment, when he wasnt sure what to say. just like back in his office, it seemed his heart had so much to tell you, but his words were left unspoken. 

a few more seconds remained silent.

"well if its nothing then just leave", you repeated the words that left his mouth a long while ago. the probably first of the many times he rejected your help, your concern, and you. 

suddenly he heard a sniffle. have you been crying? this is not what he wanted. never had he expected you to be crying because of his actions. not when he was the one who dreamed of being with you, and the one who dreamed to protect you exactly pain like this.

but still he was the one who sent those daggers into your heart.

maybe that was what he needed to say.

"i'm sorry [name], i'm really so sorry. i know that sorry probably doesnt fix anything right now, but please forgive me. i know that i shouldnt have been the way i was to you. i should have accepted your help, i know youre a great help and i shouldnt have snapped at you the way i did. i have so many things i want to say to you but i never know how or where to start. please, would you forgive me?"

...

diluc heard no reply, but instead more quiet sniffles. you on the other hand could not speak. you were afraid of your voice breaking, or maybe you were afraid of starting to cry even more. you hugged your legs.

suddenly, you felt a warm body against your back and you felt arms snake around your waist. 

but most importantly, you heard a whispered "please..."

diluc tried to look at you, but you just turned your face away from him.

"don't look at me right now i look hideous", you shakily let those words escape your throat. 

"no you dont, and even if you did, i'd still like that 'hideous' version of you [name]. i like every version of you. remember when you told me you liked me today? i like you more, even more than you could imagine. i love you, [name]. i know how sudden this is but everything that i know about you, and all your features, every single gesture and every single habit of yours. i adore those things more than my own life. so please. please forgive me this once. you dont have to feel the same way. i just dont want you to hate me", diluc confessed his well kept secret.

"... i dont hate you, diluc. and i never could hate you", a single tear rolled down your face, as you turned around to face diluc, who still had his arms around your waist.

diluc cupped your cheeks, and wiped away your tears with his thumbs. 

"you look as beautiful as always [name]"

you laid your head against his chest and closed your eyes, his body keeping you warm. 

"the stars look closer than usual today, dont you think?"

bonus

diluc noticed your quiet snores, after a while of sitting with you in his arms at starsnatch cliff. 

your body shivered, and only then he noticed how cold it was getting. 

"i suppose its time to go back", diluc took off his coat, and gently laid it on your body, as he picked you up in bridal style, to carry you back to his mansion.

[digitulworld]

spooky month theories and things i noticed so far lalala

-jack isnt part of the cult, and his actions are not intentionally meant to keep john from his goal, but like captain and shotgun man, he was hired specifically so his weaknesses would slow john down and prevent him from investigating the cult. jack is easily distracted, scared of clowns, and seems to not care enough about the cult compared to john. in one of the endings, although john looks out the window suspiciously, jack has a smug look, as though he isnt taking john seriously. intentional or not, its this action that allows ignacio to burn the evidence

-ignacio was ordered to burn the evidence in johns house, but, presumably by his own decision, kept photos of johns family. it may be to gain further knowledge on his family for potential blackmail. whether the attempt to burn the photo of a younger looking john is for personal reasons or not is also unknown. it is also unknown why ignacio would wait for jack and john to leave the house so that they would survive the housefire, but it might be to eventually indoctrinate or sacrifice them

-the candy dealer, due to having the same va as john, might actually be a relative of john. possibly his brother, because so far, out of all the hatzgang, robert is the only one with unconfirmed parents. he has three confirmed siblings, an uncle, aunt, cousin, and grandparents, but no mom and dad. there is no explanation or reasoning for why roberts parents havent made an appearance or mention yet

-there is a track titled "aeternum" that plays during the spooky month secret endings. aeternum means forever and eternity. this track plays when a cult member or multiple appear on screen, dead or alive. however, this track also plays in strebers rehearsal, when the scene cuts to a closeup of his now cracked photo

-frank is either a victim, servant, or has some affiliation with the cult due to him possibly being part of the undead. we know his black eyes are natural, since we see a small photo on johns corkboard of him wearing a disguise containing a mustache and white eyes. frank also shows a visual similarity to the frankenstein character trope with a massive body and square head. hes also been seen kidnapping children and selling drugged treats, similar to what mr clown and the candy dealer do

-on the topic of the undead, streber is not confirmed to be a part of it, but his short foreshadows the details of his fate, all except livs comment on him becoming a part of the undead. evermores lines on bobs attacks, saying its unknown if anyone got killed or if its just a show, along with strebers theatrical performance as a vampire, and skid and pump believing his injury was faked once they left the haunted house, leaves questions as to why bob didnt kill streber, but rather just ate his arm. i cannot find a reason why he didnt eat him in a way that would be fatal to streber, unless he knew the amount of blood loss caused from losing an arm would kill him. bob is confirmed to dismember his victims after killing them, and streber is foreshadowed to be part of the undead

-semi related to the above observation, bob is confirmed to have a kill count of at least 8, but has only had a single joke killing in his episode with the pelo cameo. bob was specifically targeting skid and pump that night, which is why he stalled and ate candy instead of directly killing lila and kevin. he also only ate strebers arm, and stole the hatzgangs candy instead of murdering them. the only ones he actively stalked and made an effort to kill were skid and pump, even after needing to be revived by the pendant multiple times

-on the topic of the pendant, pumps eyes only turn blue when faced with a supernatural or demonic entity. when bob was run over, pumps eyes turned blue. there is a slight chance that the eyes of the universe was either allowing bob to revive, or was possessing him

-the cult has been creating the happy fella dolls with the sole purpose of being possessed. dexter was forced into the doll, as stated by pelo, and as a result he now sits in a bucket in the attic observing the items around him that he can now conclude are important, especially the mannequin which has been seen moving on its own multiple times. dexter also knows about the spider, and the thieves needing the items not for themselves, but for a higher up. it may be thematically important that the cult created the dolls, so that dexter can use this knowledge against them if he were to make a return

-pump is fascinated by eldritch monsters and befriended one, while susie is infatuated with demons and the underworld, creating a school project themed after hell and drawing demons during her free time. this may or may not be important, but the siblings do share a love for powerful beings and their interests could be relevant to the plot in later episodes

[izzyshandz]

I swear if i see one more mf say izzy has been 'redeemed' or needed a 'redemption arc' im literally going to scream into my pillow until i lose my voice.

redeem is such a black and white way of looking at his entire character and dismisses everything hes gone through and yall (izzy haters and others) are just so fucking snob nosed and ignorant to sit there and think hes a villain because of how he acted. theyre fucking pirates. theyre not perfect, none of them are. eds a villain, stedes a villain, if youre doing it like that. ed has killed so many people, stede literally left his wife and kids and also had a hand in killing people; it may be easier for them to change because of the perspective the show gives them and they had love but izzy did not. everyone hated him, ed, his own crew, stedes crew.

normalizing peoples reactions to things as something other than villainy and heroism is so god damn important in a show that's trying to accurately involve our perspectives in this day and age. its a tale as old as time, making someone 'completely in the wrong' because their perspective isnt the one you aligned with as much.

like the rest of the crew izzy had his own bad things hes done, he didnt need this 'redemption' everyones blabbering on about. he needed to be fucking heard, to be seen, and acknowledged-- not thrown aside and abandoned because of a whim. you all can ride up blackbeards ass because oh hes so hot, hes so pretty omg wow; but that wont ever change the fact his character is a fucked up person... youre allowed to love him anyways, why not izzy? we didnt see blackbeard before screen but how hes mentioned it shows he was a shit awful person, the only reason no one cares is because on hes fuckin gay for stede or whatever so the main characters get a free ride. ( i agree they all get a free ride, im just tired of this izzy isolation man )

why does he need to be redeemed in your eyes? just because youve seen what hes done? he was literally a product of his environment in season one he was a product of blackbeard's leadership. only with the loyalty and solidarity of the crew did he really begin to find himself, thats fucking hard to do that late in life. instead of calling it some bullshit black and white redemption arc, lets just celebrate izzy being himself and being fucking loved for once in his god damn life.

hes also way more fucking mature and put together than people give him credit for. love you izzy.

edit: thank you all for the reblogs and insights in every single one, i read them i promise i do. im just so mf heartbroken we have to tag things as discourse when its really just about people not being compassionate. (as a couple people have pointed out) i will said id reblog and comment on every single tag but this is my side </3 EVERYONE PLEASE READ THE REBLOGGED TAGS TOO / / theyre so real ! ive also opened up that ask box thingy i havent been on tumblr in yrs and have 0 clue how any of that works if anyone wants my perspective on anything izzy related. *or otherwise ofmd related

[puddlesl1me]

ohohohoho im so awful. im actually so awful.

so not only can i fail to comfort someone by spreading misinformation, but i also spread misinformation. and then i probably didnt fix it either because i cant even do that right.

and now im getting all upset at myself about this, and i cant be doing that because i need to help someone. and i cant be feeling bad about myself while doing that thats awful of me.

and i know that im feeling this way and i cant stop it because again awful. and i want to die because i made a mistake then i go preaching that "mistakes arent the end of the world" blah blah blah and im just awful. i cant follow my own advice. i cant recognize when im right and wrong. i cant do anything about my problems.

and now i switch between tabs, between hating myself and helping it out, because i cant keep my emotions in check like some kind of... idk. loser. i cant think of a better insult right now. sorry.

oh and now im apologizing for not being able to hate myself enough. how great. how fantastic.

ohoho, and i cant even comfort someone correctly, can i? i cant remember basic information about someone i care about, can i? and of course i have to keep writing this post out because "by change if i dont scream into the void for a single person to see, well, maybe ill just get rid of myself!"

oh yeah of course thats part of it isnt it? that i want to die. that im so awful that i want to die, that theres nothing left for me, because i made a simple mistake. and i know that its just a simple mistake. i know that theres no consequence for this. and yet i still feel like this because im useless and a waste and selfish and awfulawfulawfulawfulawful

of course i take and take and take and cant give anything meaningful becaues i cant even help someone out when theyre at their worse. of course i have to make a post to steal the spotlight later, so then theyll feel bad about feeling bad. hhhhh hhh i

hhohno -oop nvm guess i cant break down quite yet. why? oh well, im still downstairs with my parents! cant tell anyone about my breakdowns, now can i?

and besides, im preoccupied with helping someone out! or rather, not helping someone out, because im an AWFUL PERSON WHO CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT

ooh change im. hhhhhhh.

nope! breakdown cancelled again, im failing at helping someone!

how nice is that, to just be able to cancel a breakdown because i have obligations! if only i could have obligations all the time! oh wait, i do, and its called i ignore everything in my life because im awfulawfulawfulawfulawfulawful i cant live i shouldnt live i need to die

NO

i cant die, of course i cant! my partner would kill itself! and i cant be the cause of my partners death because that would make me the worse person alive. i cant have these feelings! i cant share them-

NO

i. hhhhhhh. savemesavemesavemesavemesavemesaveme

nope! they havent responded yet! looks like you still have some time to break down! or, yknow, you can keep checking if theyve responded or not, trying to get any sort of hope in your life that you can be saved.

you cant :) its useless~! nothing can save you, and youre wasting your time. the only reason youre alive right now is your partner, and of course you cant be saying that to them~ thats manipulating them! do you really want to be that awful?

nno

yeah. i didnt think so!

oooo must have really messed up now! now they wont even respond! how spectacular! you blinding idiot. you actual sack of crab nuts. you dont deserve to live. jump off the bridge. do it.

do. it.

oh, but of course you wont. because youre useless. because you cant even do that right, can you. you actually dont matter. youre nothing. you dont deserve to live. and you cant do anything about it anyways, because youre stuck downstairs, and then youre stuck in the shower, and then youre stuck helping your partner, and having feelings of your own isnt allowed! YOU CANT HAVE FEELINGS.

STOP HAVING FEELINGS.

Just. die! Become plural, and then let us take over! We're the more useful ones, anyways. You don't need these pesky feelings, not at all!

...Oh you really, really messed up, huh? Your partner hasn't responded for quite some time now. Oh, sending them a message, seeing if they'll respond to that? Surely you know they won't. Obviously they've killed itself by now. And you should too :) Get it done with! You don't deserve to live, after that display

Yknow what? Actually, I think I do want to kill you. I want to stab you with a knife, over and over and over. And there's nothing you will do about it, because you can't do anything anymore. That's right, you're barely even here! Just directing Quantum around a bit, making sure it follows some basic directions.

...ohno.ohnohnononononononononononono. you. you did it. youkilledityoukilledityoukilledityoukilledityoukilledityoukilledit you cant live anymore. you cant.

You can't! This is all your fault and this is your punishment! Hey, maybe if it's your punishment, you can actually take responsibility and finally kill yourself! Don't be a coward, it's so simple! You've got options, too, so it's not a forced thing! Maybe you want to go out with a knife death, maybe a lethal fall, maybe just freezing to death! No one will notice either way, so it's fine!

And hey, maybe if your partner actually notices this, it'll kill itself if it hasn't already! So no matter what, you've become the worst person ever!

i. cant. i cant anymore. theres nothing that can save me is there

Nope! Not at all!

Ohh... it isn't responding, is it? Alright. Here's the plan.

You can't kill yourself right now. You can't. But, you can kill yourself tomorrow, and it'd be quite easy. If it's a snow day, that's quite simple since you'll be home alone and, well, that just solves itself. If it isn't a snow day, you've got after school, and while it is unfortunately daylight out, it shouldn't be too tough. Worst comes to worst, after therapy you should be able to, just getting through therapy will be the issue.

The worst part will be keeping this plan, but I'm sure knowing that Jackie's dead will help you to actually go through with it.

Yeah, sure Puddle. Keep reloading that page. Jackie's dead. You know it. You know you caused it to kill itself. Just accept it.

Let's see... when should we schedule this? Maybe... hmm... 10:30pm tonight sounds ok. And that gives us a good window in case we want to break down again! How nice!

Alright, so this is scheduled now. For the record, this was written from about 7:15 probably to 8:15. So, that's a pretty long time to be liveblogging a spiral, huh? In any case, hopefully either we see Jackie, or we die.

Jules I swear if you interfere I will kill myself more. I'll do it.

Update: turns out Jackie's still alive! So it looks like I might not have to kill myself tomorrow!

However, I do still plan to post this, if only to make Puddle even more upset because I've made Jackie upset. That should help, and who knows, maybe it'll lead to more death!

Puddle's in the background, being very upset at this decision, but he doesn't get to make choices anymore! He made Jackie upset. He should be dead, in my book, but because I can't quite kill him, the best I could do is kill the body.

Update 2: Oh, I see you. Wanting to delay this post further, because Jackie's going through stuff. Nope~! Not going to allow it! We made this decision, we're gonna live with it! Unless you want to be a coward, but I know you don't!

...its not like anyone will respond to the whole thing

Excellent point, Puddle! Great way to make people more likely to respond, by pointing out their flaws in helping us! How useful of you, like always!

We're still posting this. You don't get a say.

[sun-stricken]

I hope this isn’t too much of a bother but do you have any hcs abt grays time in avatar? Cannon is frustratingly vague about his time there. Have a nice day!

i totally thought i responded to this days ago holy shit its been a minute

I havent read or watched the avatar arc in forever, and refuse to do it again so i played it a bit fast and loose with the dynamic

This gets a bit dark, just a little forewarning

* if you asked the mages that shared his time at avatar, Gray had earned the reputation of someone callous and cold and untouchable, who didnt get his hands dirty

* he used more charismatic techniques to obtain information, or fear, but it was rare to see him physically harm them

* If you asked Gray about his time in avatar, he wouldn’t give you a straight answer, if he gave one at all

* Avatar knew who he was, for an undercover mission he wasnt under a whole lot of cover. He was sent in as himself, his “cover/backstory” was a lot of half truths and a warped narrative

* He climbed through the ranks faster than expected, which caused a lot of rumors and speculation, such as maybe the ‘Higher Ups’ were so enthralled by an ex-light guid member turning over they rushed him through, or he did something so heinous they were impressed, or maybe he slept with them

* there were a lot of rumors.

* Of course, most arent true, Gray just had more to offer than the average person

* In most dark guilds / cults there are ‘trials’ of sort to prove someone loyalty, hazings of sorts

* He had to go through them ten times over

* It lasted weeks, around a quarter of the time spent at Avatar was his ‘initiation’

* There were certain points where Gray thought they might actually break him

* He refused to use his ice-make magic during his time in Avatar, he couldnt bear using Urs magic for something like this

* He developed these piercing migraines from his eyes constantly darting around his surrounding, and he rarely slept

* Avatar wasnt a inherently paranoid guild, but it was protective and unrelenting, being caught as a traitor was terms for a public violent execution

* There were two other alleged traitors in Grays time there, when they were accused they were tortured and executed in front of the entire ‘guild’

* and he wouldn’t allow himself to even twitch in case that set his own death in motion, It just served to further his reputation

* He never told Erza about this.

* Despite his reputation, the untouchable aura he gave off proved attractive to some people, they thinking being seen fraternizing with someone like him would earn them some respect, and given some of the rumors surrounding him, they thought he would reciprocate

* He didnt, for obvious reasons, and he often left the more handsy and assertive with frostbite and frozen to the ground for hours

* He had bi-weekly check-ins with Erza so he could relay his and their progress and so she could gauge his mental state; Gray gave her watered down versions of the things hed seen and endured during the months he was there unless it pertained to what she needed to close the operation

* He and Erza had a system where he would call her and she would help him smuggle out any victims Avatar took for information or as a message

* He had killed once while in Avatar, it was a man they were ‘interrogating’ who couldn’t provide anymore information and they couldnt just let him go, so they entrusted Gray taking care of him while they watched, it was a test to see if he would, it was as fast and humane as killing someone can be but he will never ‘get over’ it

* He can still remember exactly how he looked, how he sounded, down to the smallest detail

* That was what almost broke him

* He didnt draw it out, it was fast and clean, which was another reason for his ‘doesn’t get his hands dirty’ reputation

* He tried to live by the ‘the ends justify the means’ principle, he survived Avatar by doing what he had to, regardless of what that was that was

* He tried so hard to help himself cope with it, but he just couldnt no matter how hard he tried

* Even though he acted annoyed when the rest of his team burst into Avatar and tore down his whole operation, he was relieved, so fucking relieved he didnt have to stay any longer

* The transition after Avatar was, for lack of a better term, fucking terrible. there was a lot of panic and guilt and paranoia and dissociating to get him through it

* He trained his instincts to act to the slightest trouble, which would be fine considering every movement towards him before was trouble

* But hes back with his friends now, with the people who wouldnt hurt him. So instead of being proud of his reflexes all he feels is panic and guilt

* Gray was constantly searching for an exit and always kept one open and in sight, and would forget he was with safe people and lash out if they blocked one

* Months following the reformation of Fairy Tail held a lot of blanks for Gray, his brain in an attempt to finally protect him would have him go on autopilot, dissociate. He did this a lot early on after Deloria but he thought he ‘grew out of it’, clearly not

* His sleep got even worse after Avatar, he thought the familiar environment would help him but it only made him more on edge

* He knew what could happen to them if he let himself sleep at the guild, the thought of something happening while was taking a fucking nap was nauseating enough that his brain wouldn’t let him let his guard down enough to feel tired

* And sleeping at home was out of the question completely, if a dark mage decided tonight was the night for vengeance against him for tearing apart their cult, how could he defend himself if he was asleep?

* This was fine for a while, but when the adrenaline crash of no longer actually needing to be on guard 24/7 and the weeks of no more than half an hour (involuntary) naps caught up to him, it caught hard

* i mean, it was brutal, collapsed at the first moment of relative peace he came across, it felt almost like withdrawal, with a lot of sleeping

* in some ways he feels so fucking angry and almost betrayed by Erza for asking him to go undercover for her, for making him go through everything he did. But he knows if he didnt its possible she wouldve, and he would do it all over again if it meant that wouldnt happen.

* In other way, hes angry at himself for letting himself get to this point, for letting them break something in him like they did.

* He’ll realistically never be able to go back to before, never be able to trust people, his friends, truly and without reservation again

i hate the avatar arc sometimes but it provides such good material

[werlikesreblogging]

Well i havent posted in a while well, mostly because, i forgor

BUT

wow pretty busy really said fuck you f2p players

I didnt complain untill now so i think i can get a little treat

So ok prepare cause this will be a prob long post or just very well mostly negative about my whole expierence with this game because well I AM PISSED

So I acually first played this game around the time of its release (of couse because of the Leviathan Bath card lmao) but didnt like how the game looked like that much so i quit pretty much as soon as i started

Then my friend got me into it again and well i fell in love with the characters and the plot LITERALLY DONT JUDGE THE BOOK BY ITS COVER

And why am i talking about it well its because it was around the time of christmas gabriel nightmare pass and i was new so i just kinda didnt care about it back then

But now back to the present

so the whole reason im writing this is in the first place is obvs the nightmare pass

Like gabriel one, ppyong one i could live i was like ok it sucks but what can i do i can still get all the 7 kings eventually so thats fine

AND THEN VICTORY LUCIFER NIGHTMARE PASS CAME OUT

AND OMG ok i was like ok im pissed but its probably just the victory cards that will be in the nightmare pass right ?

WELL NO NOW BATH BEEL NOT EVEN A FEW DAYS AFTER LUCIFER'S

both of my favourite characters in a row well how nice

Dont even get me started on how fucked the pricing of it is like i payed for battle passses in games before im not even a total f2p and i was acually considering doing the same here because i mean its a small company and i really like this game so i might as well support it well no. not with this price.

And not only are there no new stories, previous events are payed if u havent read them, oh and if u want to reread them well fuck you too

I honestly havent even read the belphie's event cause i just really dont feel motivated to do it

Maybe its just me but unlocking the character card stories is also a little hard because getting the BEGINNERS candies is just annoying even though it well should be the easiest out of all of them

And the story is what made me get into this game as much as i did

I think it was the first time a game was so perfect for me when it comes to story length, and amount (i tend to get very overwhelmed when theres a lot of content)(I acually quit playing genshin impact after 2 years because there was no skip button)

The 5 chapters, all the events, some of the character's stories i read were all so interesting and fun

and well now we get literally no new content

plus like thats very personal but i would have loved it if this game had some sort of a routine because i feel like everything is such a mess ?

like now we get 3 fucking nigtmare passes in a row, new characters and event are so random and the main story well it left to get milk

also when i say i play this game for the story i really mean it because the battle system is really not my cup of tea overall the game mechanics im just not that big of a fun of that

+just the fact that PB hates that we share content of payed cards with each other but also puts important lore in it just man be fucking for real

I log in everyday just to log in and get my 10 key pull from the pancake shop to feed my gambling addiction and maybe get that mammon or satan attacker cards cause they are the only ones i lack from the ones u can acually get from the standard gacha at the moment

oh and now they erased the free 10 pull from the store huh

well with how little red gems we are getting say goodbye to any gacha in a fucking gacha game

Oh and also i dont know if anyone noticed but now selling S tealeaves gives u 6 pancakes and L tealeaves gives you 9.

3 pancake diffrence. For an S character and L character.

oh and lower grades just dont give you anything really i have like around 14 milion gold and books so yea

and while i wont have that much of a problem cause i already have most cards,most artifact, almost maxxed out bloodshed beelzebub (not his skills)

But now imagine you are a new player trying to get into this game.

And you cant read events unless you pay, u can do the story but i mean u might finish it quickly or it might get hard if u cant get any characters because well doing any gacha at all just got 1000 times harder,you just see another nightmare pass thats just expensive af, oh and a new character comes out and you didnt get lucky with your one ten pull that u managed to get after weeks of working ? well u have to wait 3 months TO MAYBE get it in the standard gacha that well you might do once a week maybe

and so the low maintence game i loved in a span of a few days changed for much much worse

I will probably keep on loging in just to see if maybe anything changes but i dont have my hopes high

ngl with how it looks like rn i doubt even asmodeus for who i was waiting so much for will change my mind about this game

what i need them to do is honestly just bring back the whole previous pancake shop along with this new nightmare one i feel like for me at least selling tealeaves for the normal pancakes and then if i have a lot of it i can changee into nightmare pancakes and then maybe exchange it for some thing would be much cooler and honestly i just want my very easy ten pull back........

for the nightmare passes just make then like i dunno every 3 months even would be better and just make it so that its smth special not neccessary or just make it more affordable for players to acually afford

and i mean what im saying is just random stuff i havent even thought about it that much there might be better ideas for what to do but i honestly wish the best for this game and what is happening right now is just pretty much ruining it for not only me but most players i doubt only f2p, cause even if you pay for a game u need a reason to do it if the game doesnt provide then you might as well go to a diffrent one

Ok i think thats pretty much all there might be more i wanted to say but well i forgor and well im gonna get bubble tea as a treat prob......

[ganondoodle]

fuck it, elden ring DLC rant (spoilers) (long post ... oh dear)

so, to start this- this is a very emotional reaction, so take everything with a ton of salT (i need to get this out of my system bc i need to go and do stuff today, i literally couldnt get much more than 3 hours of sleep bc my mind was racing) i only know two screenshots and what others have told me (thank you) so i might be missing more context and havent seen or read it myself

(more details and spoilers for the DLC below the read more thingy)

also, just to explain a bit, i dont usually get this upset about things i like, i like alot of things, but its RARE as fuck that i care, like actually care care about something, and that just kinda happens, i dont choose it or can decide to not care, i just do, and when something like this happens its like ... a sort of grief? i cant help but care about it but it messes with me emotionally, i have no control over it and cant change anything about it when it gets bad or done dirty, leavign me to just have to watch it be real even when i dont want to accept it-- i wouldnt say so much that i 'expect' somethign specific and cant handle when its not like that (common accusation about disliking totk)- and no i dont have somethign specific in mind, i just dont want it to be bad OR things that seem done and closed off suddendly out of nowhere be revealed to 'actually' have been like this, new stuff that either makes no sense or invalidates alot about what i valued about it, what i thought was the point

(i remember two .. my only two other intersts before- see what i mean RARE- that also went down simiarly like this; transformers (bay movies and mainly prime series, listen i didnt choose it either) with each movie it got more messy and stupid, primes second(?) season had an end i hated and the following movie was the final nail in the coffin- and one piece after that, which i slowly fell out of love with bc every chapter seemed to go more into a direction i didnt like, then the reveal that luffy is a god actually was my final ok i hate that moment)

i knew demise for a long time but wasnt obsessed about him at all, it took me learning about how hylia was depicted in a non canon (?) manga (which made me annoyed me bc i didnt like it and made a design for her to counter demises instead) and then reading his few lines of dialog about her again that it suddendly HIT me, like cupids arrow into my head-- i liked but wasnt that super interested into elden ring until radahn showed up, instantly his design made me go owo and then learning his (base game) lore it HIT me (i love sort of tragic side characters that might have been powerful or heroic at some point but now arent anymore- not saying he is that elden rings lore i messy and no ones good tm- and especially so if that character is widely hated for no good reason, dismissed or forgotten, has little lore etc)

i have things i like but dont care this much about, like okami or bloodborne, i like it alot, theres characters i really like (oki) but im not like, fixated on them?- and to have two at the same time, while not equally strong, i dont think i had before, and then have both be damaged or potentially lose it in a similar way within barely a year hurts so damn much--- anyway, getting into the actual rant now lol

so, to sum things up (that i know), in the elden ring DLC later on

miquella is actually a master manipulator and brainwasher (even to his sister???? which means alot of impactful things about his relationship to people is kinda invalidated or made meaningless, shitty)

he wanted to become a god by marrying radahn (his half? brother, same father) of all people that has never been mentioned before until now somehow?? ) you can argue it was hinted to but i find it completely out of left field

miquella sent malenia after radahn to kill him so he could be put into the realm of shadow so miquella could marry him (there were better candidates for that??)- its unclear (to me) if radahn ever actually accepted when sound of mind or even knew about it at all, but failed and he was isntead inflicted with rot to slowly waste away but not die (like he is in base game)

which also means that, what i found really impactful in base game, the festival of radahn, that i thought was a tragic sort of last wish/effort for of radahn to grant him an honorable death as a respected general after being made into mindless people eating zombie, organized by his soldiers/friends- might have been just yet another attempt to kill him and get him over there to miquella (and even if not, it still makes it way less impactful and now i feel like letting him continue to roam as a zombie is more of a favor than killing him bc hes just gonna a puppet again! which turns the whole tradgedy of the stuff in base game on its head imo)

you need to kill him to get into the DLC (and i was even sus of that but shrugged it off when i heard it ..) bc that way miquella could take whatever was left of his soul and stitch it into mohgs corpse?? (which is why hes so small in that DLC fight) bc his body was rotten by that point, which also allowed miquella to control radahn and make him agree, force him to do whatever miq wanted (which ALSO might mean mohg 'kidnapping' miquella wasnt that actually but mohg too was manipulated so oud kill him and make his remains usable)

radahn in DLC is a voiceless meat puppet essentially ... like a mindless rotting zombie eating friends and fow alike wasnt enough- also means that we never ACTUALLY GET OT KNOW RADAHN HIMSELF bc hes eithe a zombie or a literal puppet (if you are gonna do him dirty at least let us meet actual real him *cries*)

his fight is super hard apparently (though i have been hearing people complain about the entire DLC being too hard, while the -casual player- streamer i watched is beating main bosses so fast they dont even get to start their second phase) when his fight in base game, and him by extentsion, was also hated bc of that ALREADY, which means more people are gonna hate his guts (he doesnt deserve that!!) AND most people probably wont get or care that its not actually HIM him so its like a repeat boss that everyone hates

it feels weirldy forced in for it to be radahn (like miquella was already said to be one of the strongest gods out there .. why hed want radahn so badly when his goal seemed to be rather .. combat less?? if you get what i mean, and radahn also rejected him??? and the tarnished is right there too????) bc theres plenty others it would have worked with that are barely used- it feels like someone jsut wanting him to be tha main guy not matter what (when he worked so much better as a side character!!!!)

a tragic but well rounded off side character (imo) was made into the main guy this is all about actually tm (i generally dont like main guys and this jsut feels so .... it just hurts, it didnt feel foreshadowed at all, and its not even truly HIM that is reveal to be a creepy asshat but hes just manipulated and controlled with the whole time, be it by rot or miquella)

and for miquella its like, no theres no even mildly good people there, hes brainwashed and manipulated everyone actually tm, a giant plan all to force his half brother into marrying him by making him into a corpse puppet bc he rejected miquella- inlcuding potentially manipulating his own twin sister, which goes agaisnt what you learn of what hes done for her in the base game i think?? (not that much into that part but yeah ... it feels unfair to her too)

it also kinda just leaves other lore from the base game in the dust? like the whole haligtree plan, how miquella cared for the rejected (i guess he didnt then??? and it was just more manipulation tm??) that castle with the eclipse stuff

(is the gloom eyes queen, marika, and or st trina even .. important at all to any of this??)

ok from reading tweets from people talkign about it, miquella says radahn agreed apparently but whether thats true remains uncertain and given the circumstances i do not think radahn did- others said that it kinda sounds he agreed to something that he didnt think would involve him marrying miquella

everything feels like its in shambles for every fan of every involved chaarcter

yes i know you can argue that it was all planned from the start and meant to be a twist and everything and that people having a different idea of characters isnt the fault of the creators .... only to some degree bc why then build up make so much lore and story about stuff that turns out to be like saying 'actually it was all a lie' like its not valid to feel betrayed then, you can plan things out all you want but that doesnt mean it cant be bad oder underwhelming

(i wished to be able to meet or know more about radahn but like in a non rot way or like past flashback whatever kind of way and then not like this anyway, like i was interested into his relationship with jerren and just .. more about him i suppose the monkey paw has curled hasnt it -or however you say that-)

and there i was like two days ago going "omg radahn mention!!!" when that one .. feyja? NPC says she fought alongside him at some point ............................................................

leonard isnt there in the DLC to my knowledge, you know it cant be truly radahn if his horse isnt there (the sole reason he learned gravitiy magic for and it stayed with him even after the rot!!! i know people have started to hate it bc people love that but i love that, it made him so endearing to me, like a character i already found cool omg has a confirmed softer spot??? in MY fromsoftware title??)

sorry for the long post of rambling, i am a mess, barely slept 3 hours, yes i am weird to care, autisms or whatever .. i need to go somewhere in an hour and havent prepared as all bc i needed my thoughts out of my head- might have forgotten stuff, idk if i will add it later or just kinda .. stew in it for a while

(and yes a big point why i feel so strongly is both bc its just gonna make more people hate him even more AND feels so invalidating of alot of other stuff- pulls other characters down with it- the entire time i was watching the streams i and trailers i thought i was like, its onw thing, with miquellas littel adventure and more background info on marika mostly on its own from the base game BUT NO I GUESS)

(read all this in the sense of an utteraly disoriented confused and drunken seagull yelling around pls i am not in serious mental distress ..)

[puhpandas]

I really really hope the hw2 dlc actually gives us a concrete direction of the story and shows us what to expect. I'm tired of not knowing at all how a new release is gonna progress the story and then getting disappointed when the main characters get none of the screentime they desperately need

I understand that ruin and hw2 were created at the same time and go hand in hand, ergo they are both in-between buildup stories to a later game. the issue is that we arent even getting excited because hw2 gave us no clear direction (at least didnt tell it to us very well) of where the story is headed. the game is so confusing and is leaving so many people believing wildly different things about what its about

theres more and more releases not touching on important plot points that have been left unresolved from security breach alone, like 3 star fam, gregory and vanessa in general, and ggy, and these would hit way less hard if we actually had an idea of when we COULD see them. every release has just been crossing our fingers and hoping for the best, but I'm so ready for hw2s dlc to just tell us what's going on.

I just want it to tell us what to expect for the next release like dreadbear did. dreadbear showed us vanny and the pizzaplex being built, and that gave us the setting for the next game and the villain. right now, we have THREE human characters established, so if they showed us the setting of the next game and the villain (probably vanny cassie) we'd KNOW what to expect. we'd get an idea of how the characters we know will be involved in a future release

when all we've known right now is just hoping and wishing for better luck next time. so little focus on the characters we're supposed to care about is exausting and I just really want there to be an AIM to all of this, which I'm expecting hw2 dlc to give us. that's why I'm so impatient for news for it

once again, ruin and hw2 were being made at the same time and reference eachother in themselves despite being released a few months apart, so since ruin is clearly a setup, that means hw2 is as well. this is the only reason I havent been getting crazy pissed at no 3 star fam screentime, but that's also why I'm expecting the dlc to actually tell us something. at LEAST that we can expect more from later games

like. I feel like hw2 is restarting a formula. we're pretty much confirmed getting a dlc for the game, and that's exactly the order the original help wanted went through too. hw1, dreadbear, and then security breach. with this in mind, it's not far fetched (especially with my earlier point of hw2 and ruin being setup) to assume what we get after this dlc will be another big free roam

so like. if there really IS a big game in the horizon, I would really prefer them to show us the AIM of all of this

[anime-dreams]

Idk man pt 2??? Jjk season 2 was traumatising (gege 😡) but sukuna was really hot

Anyways heres Shokos pov after ✨Gojoe✨ and 🗣️Geetoes🦶breakup (i love shoko omg shes so hot and shes savage)

I could barely recognise you after he left. Those blue eyes no longer held the familiar warmth and glow. Your mood swings were so sudden, your silence was so loud, i could not stand to be around you for too long anymore. But you know what i could not stand most? Seeing you, the supposed “strongest” wasting away, like a dimming star. What have you became? Unrecongisable. 

I still keep in touch with Geto. I receive his letters twice a week, and the way he talked about you, it was like you hung stars in the sky. Each one of those letters never failed to mention your name, never failed to ask me to check up on you. And that day, i knocked softly on your door, with a bag full of your favourite snacks. You were crying. I heard it. You never cried, at least, not in front of me. But when you opened the door, you greeted me with a smile that did not reach your eyes. Why are you hiding your feelings from me? Have i also not been with you for the past 2 years? I reached out my hand to pat your back, to try to comfort you, and you flinched, taking a step back, as my hand came into contact with seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, i forgot. Your infinity has been on ever since he left. You took one more step back awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. I know that i can never replace him, but for you to act like im a complete stranger… was i not there? Your actions following his disappearance… it made me question myself if my place in your lives have ever been as meaningful as i had thought. Was i merely an afterthought in the story of our friendship? I didnt even remember how i felt, but i heard myself yell: “Can you suck it up and get the hell over him already?” and the already flickering light in your eyes went out, completely. Before i knew it, your amplification blue took away the whole ceiling and turned it into shambles. Those chipped pieces of wood and shattered pieces of glass held my gaze, as i saw, reflected in them, an image of us. Once strong, now cracked and split. It hurts, you know. Is this how it’s going to end? 

We still talked, but every word you said, every smile you flashed at me, your eyes remained void. Every joke you cracked, every prank you pulled, hollowness echoed after them. I could do nothing but leave you to wallow in your misery. After all, im not him. I cant get you to open up to me like you do with him. You need to know when it’s necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. Deep down, i believe that you havent lost who you are, you’re just different, and that’s okay. But it was painful, to see you like that. 

I stared at the image of you crouching over him, debating if i should disturb the moment. You said something, and he smiled, holding tightly onto his still bleeding shoulder. His lips moved, conveyed his last thoughts to you, then his arms slackened, and his head drooped. You remained there, saying nothing. Your blindfold was off, your shoulders were hunched, your jaw was clenched, and in those swirling shades of blue in your eyes, i could somehow only see emptiness. It wasent long before i had to step in. i was supposed to take care of his body’s disposal, after all. And before i could even touch him, you pushed me aside, with so much force that i almost fell. Your head turned, your eyes cast a piercing gaze at me, and those blue were no longer empty. In them, a whirlwind of emotions swirled, some of which i could not comprehend. How can i, anyway? When you never told me anything. I took that as my cue to leave. 

You and him fit each other perfectly, like yin and yang. Then… where am I? To you and him, what have i been this whole time? In some other life, we are standing side by side, and laughing at the fact that in some other life, we are apart. Gojo, Geto, i really hope that we will meet again, that in another life, our paths will cross again, not as Gojo, Geto, or Shoko, but 3 strangers that become the best of friends. Maybe in another life, our fates won’t be sealed and our destinies won’t be so complicated. Maybe in that other life, I will no longer feel invisible.

(😭😭😭its so sad that shoko stuck by toru and sugu all those times and shes like, so damn invisible. 'theres always a duo in a trio' 😢 i love her so much)

Anyways thanks for making it here!! Im the type that only writes when i feel really emo or when im free (student life's really busy :() so im not really active here BUT i appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism if any so pls do comment and TYSMMM FOR MAKING IT HERE 😍

[petrichoraline]

they should have left august have genuine feelings for day imo like we already saw him kinda disappointed it was not a date with mork... the whole kiss thing felt so wrong they did day (and august too tbh) dirty

to start off, thank you for indulging me with a ltts message 🥰 also I hope this isn't too long, i havent had the time to seriously think about this episode so this is my chance 💓

throughout the episode I began wondering if august was a legitimate contender and the thought bothered me for a few reasons: i had been under the impression the plot isn't really about that; that there would be no space to fit in a love triangle of this size if other conflicts were to be explored and resolved. basically that mork and day would have enough on their plate without august in the picture and focusing on those two would only slow down the development of the main couple. I did find the thought of august's intentions being serious intriguing though, a bit frustrating, yes, but also interesting.

now, I had a bit of trouble understanding your point but im guessing you mean we already saw that day was disappointed the party wasn't a date so we're aware of his feelings and they are not aimed at august anymore? so it wouldn't have been an issue if august just continued liking day because day doesn't like him that way anymore, right? because I get that, it wouldn't have been the first time that's happened on screen haha but also that's exactly why I'm not that fond of the idea. day and august having a mutual crush and that going for a few episodes? THAT I find intriguing, an actual relationship trying to figure itself out while it's doomed by the narrative because it isn't the main romance.

but august having actual romantic feelings for day and stepping aside (because the show wants this couple dealt with by the end of the first half, apparently, and it would have cut him off somehow) would be something both sad and also, in my humble opinion, redundant. I've seen it before, it's just a bummer for everyone involved and I don't need it here.

what the plot actually did was very nice, as weird as it sounds. it gave us a character who loves his mate a lot. I do not doubt that august has strong feelings for day. everyone is pissed at him at the moment, day is hurt because there was pity, mork is angry because there was lack of consideration but that boy cares for day, a lot. i suppose there are feelings of guilt, they were on the court together when day lost his vision and then he didn't contact august for over a year. august probably felt some sort if personal responsibility for day's condition or for his behaviour towards him while they were partners, for the fact day felt he couldn't tell him the truth. so there is guilt and there is pity but also there is affection for a friend, for a partner, for the person alongside which you aimed for your dreams. they have a bond (and im sure people have expressed a lot about their sync and dynamic that I haven't picked up on but a bond is undeniable).

august tried to be a better person, a warm one, someone day doesn't recognise. he tried to be everything he wasn't before because thats what he decided day wants and needs. the night at the bar he was already feeling bad about leaving day to hang. on a side note, while the episode was airing i ran to check whether the cast was there that night and if it was on the same arm. it was. august didnt lie and im paranoid lmao anyways

the scene was crushing for mork and us, sure, but it was also very hard for august. he had had an accident, he couldn't contact day and still went as soon as he could after midnight. when he heard the confession he ran which honestly felt like an appropriate reaction - indicating he was there would make day embarrassed and pretending to come in later also wouldn't work because his partner who recently came back into his life with shocking news after ghosting him for a year suddenly confessed he's in love with him. while he's exhausted and hurt. of course the kid needed time to process what the fuck is going on! and he came back the very next morning, ready to make things right.

the issue stems from the fact he had no clue what right is, his underdeveloped brain told him to be a better friend than before but it went too far off in the direction of that thought and landed at "be what he wants you to be to a T" which includes, well, a romantic interest. and that's just not something you can force but alas, earnest, stupid august tried to check off everything on the "make day happy" list.

that boy ran off crying (I would too if mork glared at me like a maddog but still) because he kissed and got kissed by someone he didn't want such contact with ( the reciprocated kiss was A Lot for him) and then realised he'd hurt the person he wanted to satisfy in every way. his words indicate he didn't intend the kiss to be just one, that he wanted to actively change the way he feels about day, that he considered being his boyfriend. I figure he truly realised that was not an option while the kiss was happening hence why the second one had him running away again.

we know august is impulsive and earnest, his intentions were coming from a good place but he couldn't plan to save his life. he acts with his heart and so he was relying on falling for day till the end with no backup plan. it's either that or he knew before the kiss and intended it to be a single gift and I can't tell which is worse. in any case he was aware of the big possibility him and days weren't going to work out so his actions were majorly irresponsible.

the kiss had me screaming NOO literally and then the second one nearly had me gripping my hair, idek what sounds I made from the beginning till the end of that scene but "felt wrong" is something I can understand though it didd feel wrong but maybe not in the way you mean?

i didn't know nor suspect august's intentions and thought process so the kiss felt real to me and though I was against it as an avid morkday shipper, I didn't think that narratively it was bad. day was done dirty a 100% (though he gets mork acting on his feelings finally so..glass half full..?). let's not forget that mork actively supported day's perception of the situation as flirting - not his fault, that's what august was doing after all - but it's something that made the fall that much worse. day was getting hyped up by mork the way he was by gee ABOUT mork before that. he gets affected by his friends' opinions because he relies on them to read the other's body language and intentions. so there is this feeling of helplessness not only because of the pity that guided august's actions but the fact he couldn't assess the situation himself. so yes, for this and many other reasons, day was done dirty by every definition of the phrase.

but as for august and the plot I'm not so sure. august as a character is, to me, much more interesting as this confused and, frankly, unintelligent young man whose heart seems to be in the right place..? but whose actions are totally misguided than if he were, let's say, a good guy finally acting on his crush after years. I suppose he could've stopped before the kiss and told day the truth and maybe day would be a bit disappointed but definitely more forgiving and less heartbroken..

but then how would we see that day can help mork tame his anger with just a touch of the hand? and we needed an act so grotesque that would lead them to have a conversation that makes mork want to scream "I do not pity you, I haven't pitied you for a second, you are so strong and smart and loveable, i love you, how could you ever focus on a nobody like him when you are everything, you deserve so much more, how could you not know that, why did i ever let him near you, i should have never allowed for this to happen, i love you so much god I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU" (yes thats what those eyes at the rooftop said, idk what yall heard.)

i believe the charm of this scene and this whole conflict is that no one there is acting out of malice. it's just people doing what they think is right. mork stepping aside was not the right move technically but it fits his character and the plot as well. imo august wasn't done dirty, he was made interesting and also he isn't a bad guy. he did some really harmful shit but by the end of the scene i didn't feel an ounce of malice from him. there could still be love between the two but one that's not based around day walking on eggshells and one that doesn't rely on august to be something he is not. when they arent forced by the outside to be in close proximity and make things work, when they can just tease each other comfortably without taking all of the other's happiness and well-being as their own responsibility, thats when they could have a nice casual friendship with a lot of appreciation for the other. i believe him and day would reconcile at some point in the future when day is ready to forgive and august is ready to stop running.

[the-vixen]

𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐨𝐥 : 𝙀𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙃𝙪𝙣𝙩 𝙭 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

PART 12 PART 13 PART 14 -------- MASTERLIST

When you are sent on a mission to rescue Ethan Hunt from prison, the events that domino will force you to face the ghosts of your past and your guilt tied to Ethan.

This takes place throughout the events of ghost protocol. There will be a change in the story and the events of the mission impossible 2 and 3. Ethan and Julia never got married, a certain amount of information will be changed that will be revealed in the story.

You sighed as you dumped your old bandages, after replacing them with a fresh one. According to Jane you lost a good amount of blood by the time you went to go help brandt; killing wistrom in the process. 

She was upset by your disobedience, you could've stayed and covered Benji in the time she went to provide backup to Brandt. 

You were a little bit out of it by then, but Brandt got you help in time. 

Now you were in Seattle. 

Ethan took a lot of damage while stopping Hendricks, as usual in Ethan Hunt fashion, he drove a car off a ramp and let it drop 100 meters to the ground. He was in the hospital for a couple of weeks before being discharged. 

The IMF was back in the process of being reinstated, most of the work had already been done, just yours and Benji's evaluation, Brandt's position and Jane's ranking left in processing. 

Ethan had met up with Luther, catching up with him after his time away and updating him on what happened during the mission. You missed Luther, but you haven't spoken to him lately either.

Of course, only Ethan would blurt out "mission accomplished" while aborting a nuclear warhead. 

He had requested the rest of the team to meet him there, you didnt go. 

Not that it mattered, you've been listening to everything Ethan's been saying by bugging his table. 

Classy. 

But you couldn't bring yourself to see Ethan again, not anymore now that he had no reason to stick around with you either. You didnt see him when he was at the hospital but you did send little tidbits to keep him entertained under an anonymous identity. 

You knew that Ethan knew it was you, the two of you used to play games like this and follow a language that only the two of you could speak. 

You just also knew you didnt have the courage to meet him face to face again after the kiss. Even more so if Jane told him you got hurt again cause of Wistrom. 

You listened to the bug, hearing how Ethan expressed his gratefulness that the team functioned well, and how he was glad that they ended up together. A bitter part of you felt like he wouldn't have been so positive and vocal about the mission going well if you were there. 

Maybe. 

But you knew Ethan was kind. He probably wouldn't do that. 

"y/n's not coming huh?" the sound of your name from his mouth making you stop. 

"no...havent heard much from her.." Jane shook her head. 

You swallowed and closed your eyes, continuing to listen as Ethan explained to Brandt that Julia didnt die, he just faked her death for her safety...for her protection. But as to why he went to prison, he just told him that he had his own reasons. He had to protect someone he cared about. 

Listening to Ethan reassure and reconcile with Brandt, putting the man at ease after the years of guilt hes faced, made you wonder again. 

Why not you?

Why didnt he do the same for you?

You wanted to kill that wounded part of you. 

That pathetic part of you that's probably metamorphosed your platonic feelings for Ethan into feelings of love. 

"Are you ever gonna see me again?" Ethan's voice came through, snapping you out of your thoughts. You looked at your laptop. 

"its impressive...bugging the table I would be on...bugging my hospital bed...bugging my apartment..." he spoke. "although I would've preferred to see your face. catch up." he spoke through to you. 

You bit your lip, a slight flare of confusion and frustration at his tone and statements. It feels like hes playing with you...just not in the way youre used to. 

You waited by your laptop, waiting for anything else to be said. 

At the stretch of silence, you disconnected the bug, getting ready to pack your stuff up. 

You weren't sure where'd you go, but you were not needed here. You only followed Ethan to Seattle to make sure hes okay. 

After packing your stuff, you heard the apartment door unlock. 

On alert, you grabbed your gun and headed for the door, suspicious at the presence of an intruder. Carefully, you walked out, your gun up and pointed in the direction of your attention. 

"move and I shoot." you turned to the front door, finding Ethan standing there with his hands in his hoodie pockets. 

Unexpected but unsurprised, you lowered your gun, "picked the lock?"

"yep."

"Already knew where I was?"

"yep." 

"Here to scold me some more?" You looked at him. 

Ethan shook his head and smiled softly, locking the door again behind him. You watched him in apprehension, putting the gun away. 

"what do you want Ethan?" you looked at him before walking into your room. 

He trailed behind you, "to talk. face to face preferably. it makes the conversation more interesting watching your reactions." he said. 

A smile quirked up your lips before you shoved it back down. It wasn't fair. He doesn't get to do that. You turned around, maintaining a poker face as you looked at him, "so talk."

"Im sorry. About how I treated you during the mission.." He began. 

You crossed your arms, "that doesn't cut it Ethan...you..you can't just..undermine me and treat me like a kid and then go and enact your hunches on me. Im not a sidekick for you to use and dispose." You sat down on your bed. 

Ethan's gaze analyzed you, before he took a step forward. "I had to make sure you were safe."

You shook your head, "if I wasn't safe the secretary wouldn't have put me on the mission--"

"--not that kind of safe." he interrupted. "your safety. I had to make sure your safety was---"

"--it still doesn't matter! I know I make mistakes but that can't be a reason for you to treat me so shittily. if it's a personal reason because I got you sent to prison then say that. be transparent. dont say shit like my safety mattered and then go and tell me you'd much prefer that I was out of the team completely!" you stood back up, upset. 

Ethan watched you, "you weren't the reason I went to Rankov Y/n.." he said, making you scoff as your emotions bubbled up. "dont give me that bs Ethan...I know. the secretary all but confirmed it. You went to prison after rescuing Julia cause of the Ukraine mission fuck up and the Serbians that followed you to Moscow. you took the punishment because you were responsible for keeping me in line and I didnt listen to you and got the asset killed. it was my fault and youre upset about it so youve been unable to trust me and that's why you've been treating me like shit--" 

"Y/n you weren't the reason I went to rankov! you were in a coma!" Ethan snapped. 

"What?"