#and the psychological side... like a cage says 'you're an animal'

[tyrannuspitch]

c*rry on fandom take baz’s kidnapping seriously challenge

[marshmallowprotection]

you're so good at psychological hurt/comfort aspect of a relationship with the chois. even though i researched this stuff a bit there's lots of things you have to watch out for and remember and understand. do you have any advice for people trying to learn more? i guess it comes down to reading a lot, right? on the plus side, reading about psychology is not dull, and can be interesting

Hm, well, I think it just comes easier to me at times because I’m also a victim of abuse and I know what to look out for in a reaction as well as the fact that I know what I would want or would not want in a close relationship, be it a romantic or a platonic one. There’s not exactly a right or wrong way to write this sort of thing but if you’re trying to be respectful and be more realistic in an empathetic and humanized way by better understanding what they might be feeling? 

There’s nothing wrong with starting to research on your own about not only the major symptoms that come from things like depression, anxiety, etc; But, you should be looking at what happens to people who live and learn to exist with these things onward. There’s a lot of reading involved here but there’s also a lot of talking involved. 

There’s plenty of videos! There are always places to learn and see, though, you do need to check all your sources because not everyone is saying great things but that’s another topic about knowing how to gauge what site is doing good or bad.

It’s one thing to look at an article or two that explains what it feels like to have a panic attack, for example, but it’s another to try to source journals or pieces from people who actually have them consistently to get a better grasp on that as well as how to come out of one and how to deal with what happens when you get caught up in one. That’s not to say you should ask someone, but there’s a lot of places like Reddit, or other places even here on Tumblr where you can read up and see what it’s like for some people. It’s oftentimes better to get from the word of mouth instead of a medical journal. 

Those can tend to be... ableist at times, and it doesn’t give you a bigger look at what the feelings involved are like. Like, with anxiety, yes, many people feel this sense of dread, but it’s not the same feeling of dread in every person. Everyone describes it a little differently, or they get a different physical symptom when it gets bad! Talk to people, learn, read, and don’t stop looking at people without an empathetic light in your heart. 

If you don’t have PTSD, or anxiety, or depression, etc, you should try your best to learn what you can from your sources. You want the experience that you’re writing to be natural and feel comforting, especially if you’re writing something that is for yourself, or for a reader! You want it to feel inclusive and adequate to one’s experience. I try my best personally, but I’ve been doing this for years for myself! 

I’ve had the time to learn and push myself deeper into understanding the human mind. I’ve still got a long way to go. Never stop learning, honestly. There’s not ever going to be an ending to the learning process. Don’t think and stop when you feel like you know something, you still have room to grow and experiences to have. 

As far as with the boys, I have played their routes over and over again. I will put myself into the thing I’m doing so much that I’m immersed. I will play a fucking game into the ground, I will read a story over and over, I will watch a show until I’m blurry-eyed. I spent so much time reading and jotting down what they say that catches my eye. I’d be taking screenshots and trying to remember what words and experiences stood out to me time and time again. 

I think about it. I wonder what that feeling is. I start writing when I see something in the text. I just start writing and I don’t stop. I think Roleplay can really help a lot of people with this because if you’re put on the spot and forced to guess how to make a response with a character, it forces you to get inside of their head and become them to get what you want. 

When I’m writing, I want to feel like I’m that character. I want to channel the energy that they have as if I’m acting on a stage. That’s why I read aloud what I’m writing very often because I want to guess if what I’m saying is going to fit in with their attitude and style. I will sit here and repeat what I’m writing until I feel like it’s good. Let me tell you, I might look like a mad man when I’m Unknown but I’m not. I SWEAR. 

Put yourself into their shoes, that’s how I read into it. I’m not sure how else to explain it. Don’t just analyze conditions, start screenshotting, and taking notes when a comment or something that the character says makes you interested in them. Like, the Secret Endings, for example, you hear watch Saeran think and talk about how he’s feeling! Read that, read it again, and start jotting down how that feels to you. 

What’s his tone? What’s his choice? What is he feeling? Is it desperate? Is it despair? Is it hope? What is it? Let’s see... I’ll give you an example here to show you how I break it down. 

You know when Saeran is trapped in the hospital and he’s forced to see his brother even though he wants to be alone and he wants to suffer for what he did and what he feels? He feels like a caged animal. He didn’t choose to be hurt, nor did he choose to suffer by Rika’s hand. Nobody will let him breathe. He feels like he’s suffocating and he doesn’t know what to do. 

It finally occurs to him that if he’s alone, he can fucking breathe, and maybe then he can figure out what’s going on inside of his head and why all of this even had to happen to him. So, we can assume alone that he’s going to do whatever he can do to ensure that he’s alone. 

He knows how to suffer. He knows how to be alone. He just can’t stand people and he can’t stand people. We know that he doesn’t want to be vulnerable alone from how we see Unknown interact with others up to this point. It’s all about just letting yourself see the words and feel them as if it were you. Put yourself in his shoes and ask, if I’m trapped and I want to be alone and I want everyone to just hate me so I can figure something out. 

What do I do? 

I lash out. 

I fight. 

I make them hate me, I give them a reason to leave so I don’t have to think about my life or how I was tricked, lied to, and thrown away by the woman that I gave my faith and life to. We watched Saeran realize that how fast Rika was to throw him away for Saeyoung. Just... Just think about that. 

Does this make sense, Anon? Or am I babbling like an idiot?