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dadsbongos · 4 years

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Alright, so, I'm well aware that the antag series revolves around her and Hajime, but I kinda wanna know more about her relationship with Nagito, Mikan, and Kazuichi during the tragedy and after the neo world program

I'm really hooked to this series, but can you blame me lmao-

i can’t blame you nonny, antag reader series is literally all i think about anymore, literal brain rot. this is basically just like?? a character analysis essay type thing? i’m so sorry it’s so long, i just got soooo into it

Request for: antag reader (Mikan Tsumiki, Kazuichi Souda, Nagito Komaeda) Warnings: despair things, face swap mention, spoilers, manipulation and bad friending :( ~~~

Mikan Tsumiki (and like a pinch of Junko Enoshima):

The Tragedy: So basically the whole thing with (Y/n) is that her parents were just so overcritical to the point where it rooted her complex and felt like they never loved her, right? So basically, Junko was able to attack that by showing her the bare minimum affection and introducing Mikan into the mix, who was in a similar boat with being unloved. Junko made them both feel as though she was the best love they could ever have and then made them compete for it at any opportunity she could.

Mikan always loved Junko but she doesn’t love (Y/n) the same way and vice versa, despite that, they do both care for each other very deeply. They desire no relationship in each other and even view each other as rivals who happen to find somewhat of a friendship together. Mikan thinks, and always has, that (Y/n) is much more talented and worthy of Junko than she is. However, (Y/n), being deeply insecure far below the surface - never stopped thinking that Mikan was more beautiful and worthy of Junko than she was.

They find both comfort and hatred in each other due to Junko making them act as competition. They both know the pain of Junko’s rejection but they also both know that if the other was out of the way, they could have Junko all to themselves.

When (Y/n) found out Mikan took Junko’s womb, it was a betrayal due to the fact that she didn’t know beforehand, Mikan had never said anything about taking Junko’s uterus. And on top of that, she found out that Mikan had tried conceiving a despair child during their separation. Even though neither of them loves each other, they know their relationship can be viewed as lovers - they often view it as such themselves - and so, (Y/n) felt as though Mikan had cheated on her. She basically had. Even so, she still knows that nothing could make her hate Mikan, she doesn’t love her as she did Junko, but she loves her more than any other woman she’d ever known. Mikan is the only grounding she’s ever known and the only person to ever relate to her on such an intimate level.

Going back to the feeling of Mikan being prettier than her, (Y/n) stole Junko’s face entirely because of that feeling of inferiority. She never told Mikan because she was ashamed to admit that she was insecure, it would make her imperfect to be insecure.

Overall, she’s never loved Mikan as a girlfriend but they’ve always been all the other had during The Tragedy despite their ‘rivalry’ and insecurities surrounding the other.

After Neoworld: (Y/n) is definitely nervous to be around Mikan because of their history with each other and Junko. Before Mikan wakes up from the program she’s constantly worried about if the nurse will hate her or be disgusted by her. The way Mikan had treated her right before her execution hinted at some tenderness buried beneath discontent, but that could always change. When Mikan wakes up she immediately looks for (Y/n) on pure instinct.

They definitely try to help each other heal and cope with Junko’s manipulation and lies. They both have come to realize that Junko never loved either of them and they didn’t love each other - any of the comforts they had gathered in The Tragedy was a lie and they help each other through that realization.

“You’re more than what she made you.” is a common phrase between them because they know she only made them compete for her own entertainment and their despair.

It was cruel and they have to live with every emotional and physical scar from that time. But they still have each other.

Any sense of rivalry has dripped away from their bond and is now wholly intertwined by genuine friendship and connection. By their experiences and how they’re growing away from Junko and into themselves. Eventually, all their conversations stop being about Junko and healing and start being about a pretty shell Mikan found on the beach. Or how the water looks so inviting, they should go for a swim.

Or how the chairs need repainting.

Or how some flowers outside the front door would be lovely.

Or how good breakfast was this morning.

Kazuichi Souda:

The Tragedy: Kazuichi wasn’t as “enamored” with (Y/n) as he was Sonia, but he respected her Ultimate and higher intelligence enough to also refer to her as ‘miss’ when they went to school. Though he largely stopped calling her ‘Miss (Y/n)’ during The Tragedy he still respects her a lot and is even a little scared of her sometimes. Again, she’s way smarter than he is - she’s not a super genius like Izuru but she’s a smart cookie and he’s not so delusional to think he’s near her in intellect. So the fact she can copy his Ultimate status and be smarter than most people in their class is quite intimidating for him at times.

Because of the confidence she projects and her charisma and, again, higher intelligence than his, he often follows her word and example without much thought. Like if he saw her jump off a cliff, he would probably go along with it because he knows she probably has some plan to get out of the situation safely.

(Y/n) views Kazuichi sort of as a little brother - but one that follows you around like a puppy and always bugs you. She doesn’t expect much other than blind support from him and kind of accepts that he’s her “sidekick” so to speak. They didn’t view each other as equals or even true comrades - (Y/n) was always just better and that went unquestioned. She definitely used him to gain without putting much thought into the long-term of their relationship.

After Neoworld: Kazuichi had regained his memories in chunks as they left the program and at least could recall being so-called friends with (Y/n). When they awoke, they didn’t talk to each other that often since Kazuichi was extremely bitter about how she’d treated them all in the program (and him as a Remnant) and so she was left alone with Hajime.

It’s only as she actually begins healing and expressing more humane traits that he starts talking to her again. Neither apologizes for anything specific, they just aren’t those kinds of people and both parties can let it go easy enough - they’d both done horrific things and they know that. He invites her into his warehouse to take apart the Monokumas, he offers to go on walks along the beach with her - he finds it nice to be in her presence again.

Because even after what they’d been through, I feel like he does still deeply respect her due to her talent. He just also has gained more confidence in himself while in the program and therefore has more sense to not let her control his actions. Which, he finds that she hasn’t tried doing and that always encourages him to keep coming back.

Kazuichi thrives on positive feedback and (Y/n) knows this, so every time she can she’s expressing how much he means to her as a dear companion - both of them being hesitant to actually label themselves friends. Especially Kazuichi, who had already been hit by poor friendship and trust issues, remembering that (Y/n) used him during The Tragedy makes his brain go fuzzy on how he feels about her. Sometimes he’s angry and other times he forgives her wholeheartedly because he knows she’s sick and he wants her to be able to maintain the friendships that he’s able to.

I think it’s after she apologizes to everyone, pre-Nagito waking up but post Gundham and Nekomaru, that he really just lets go of everything.

It’s not easy to forget that he was just her tool but he knows that she’s better now and they start hanging out more often, by themselves, having a good ol’ time talking about absolute nonsense.

Respect turns into admiration.

Nagito Komaeda:

The Tragedy: So I’d already mentioned that (Y/n) influenced him into becoming Servant, but I wanna expand on that before digging into anything else. At heart, Nagito is a people pleaser to the Ultimates, and none more than the copycat who can master pretty much anything she wants. During their school years, she didn’t see anyone as her equal and that resonated with Nagito’s inferiority complex and while she hates people who have no confidence, she would hate to be like everyone else more. So she kinda just accepted the servitude that came with befriending Nagito on the first day of school up until The Tragedy where he practically begged her to take him with her wherever she went.

She was the first one to really hold onto his chain, both literally and metaphorically. He joined the Ultimate Despair with Junko to create a despair to overcome, but only (Y/n) was allowed to actually touch him - or else he started throwing a huge fit.

In order to spread despair and crush Nagito’s everlasting obsession with hope, she probably intentionally ignores and neglects him when he needs her.

This largely means when he’s mourning/remembering his parents and dog or his illnesses or when he’s falling into despair and needs her to pull him out, she’s just watching and doing nothing.

In fact, when Nagito had brought up his plans to join the Warriors of Hope he was really hoping she’d speak against it, and she didn’t. She actually encouraged it. Pushing him to leave her alone and join the WOH. It hurt, of course, it would, but he left all the same and they hadn’t spoken since despite their ‘friendship’. (Y/n) never bothered going after him, again to crush his love of hope.

She left him unhinged, alone, sick to fend for himself until he found the WOH, and even when he found them - she didn’t seem to care whether they let him live or killed him.

After Neoworld: Honestly? To say that she mourns Nagito, and her entire relationship with Nagito, is a huge fucking understatement. Especially as the others begin waking up and Hajime helps her grow, she just gets more and more depressed over her situation with Nagito. And as he takes longer and longer to wake up, she begins to accept that she was horrible to him and doesn’t deserve his forgiveness.

Before The Tragedy even, since they’d met. She always treated him with as little human respect as she could - she did it with everyone but especially him. He was basically just a little errand boy she liked to talk to and she didn’t treat him as more. During their time in despair, she was barely around for him, only holding him together when the others pushed her to do it because he was being annoying. She was so awful to the man she always claimed was her closest friend. And she wants him to hate her for it so bad.

Then he wakes up and he sees her and he smiles. He could never hate her and it only makes her feel worse.

Nagito sees how much she’s changed and he begins changing too, she tells him about how Hajime has helped her so much and he begins to follow her around with Hajime. She’s worried he’ll consider himself her lapdog again but it’s cleared up when he doesn’t run to her side one morning out of the few left before they leave.

In fact, it’s when he doesn’t speak to her for hours on end she realizes that every interaction they had was under his free will and choice.

He doesn’t do her chores for her. She doesn’t watch him fall apart silently. They talk like friends do. Not about how talentless people are worthless or how hope is all that matters but about how they can’t wait to rebuild their favorite hangout spots and make better memories there together.

They sort of have an unannounced “restart” where they just wipe the slate clean, mostly on (Y/n)’s part so she can treat Nagito how he deserves. As a true friend rather than a pawn.

#sdr2 x reader #nagito komaeda x reader #mikan tsumiki x reader #kazuichi souda x reader #anon chatter :)#antag reader

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 5 years

Text

Wicked, part 4 (DT royal AU)

Summary: With the L word in the mix, the two go from lovers to enemies.

Warnings: swearing, angst, talk of physical, sexual and mental abuse

Word count: 4500

WICKED - SERIES MASTERLIST

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''Oh?“ Cameron nearly laughed out loud with the notion, but the fallen look in her brother's eyes had stopped her from acting so inconsiderably.

''YuP!“ Popping the P for effect, Grayson shook his head. ''I told her I love her and she just said 'OH' with a bewildered look on her face.“ Sighing heavily, Grayson bit his lower lip before chuckling dryly. ''She went to sleep right after, on the other side of the bed. She tucked the blanket around her so I couldn't even touch her.“ His gaze falls on the glass of a very expensive scotch he's been sipping on since early morning when he woke up to an empty bed, no sign of his darling dragon wife at all.

''Don't you think you're being a little too judgemental of her reaction? I mean, with the life she's had and the only example of love she had seen, I wouldn't blame her for fearing the words. And I think she was scared, Gray. She was completely at ease with you and she had given herself to you in every possible way a woman can give herself to a man and the words spoked her.“ Cameron reason, well aware she might be more thoroughly briefed on Dracovian royal relationships than her brother considering the confused look that had replaced the sad looming one he sported since he had picked her up from the airport.

''You clearly have better insight, so tell me what is so awful that she had seen that might make her fear my love?“ Grayson was ready to snap, his imagination unable to conjure up the possible terror she might have witnessed – his small, fragile love that was so lonely in this world – his world.

''I do have many spies placed in high places. From what they've told me, the king was an animal toward his wife. In fact, she was the actual Queen, the one who was born to dragon blood and had the throne passed onto her from her mother as well. The king was an extremely charming man who made sure to win that poor woman's heart. She was such a beauty, so fierce and strong, absolutely terrifying to all who would try something against Dracovia and her family. She was a true Queen, but once she let him into her heart, he had broken her apart – piece by piece. It didn't start as openly until she signed his crown matrimonial and she only did it because he made her believe she was losing her mind when Y/N was only four years old. They say he had made her believe she was haunted and that the people questioned her sanity and would ask for her head if they suspect the kingdom may be in peril. He told her he'd protect their family if she signed the crown matrimonial and she did.“ Cameron grabbed Grayson's glass, downing the scotch first. The story was heavy to narrate and hard to hear, something anyone could understand.

''He had cheated on her with multiple women after as he had her declared unfit to rule. He had abused her both physically and sexually aside from mentally. They say the royal guards stationed before their bedroom door would weep as they listened to the monstrous things he had done to her. One wanted to help her but was stopped...you see, they were under orders to protect the queen, but not from the king. The princess would sit in a corner of her bedroom, her hands over her ears as she sang to herself to drown it all out. She was seven years old when her mother mysteriously disappeared at sea. They say their ship was destroyed, but no one knows by who. Some claim we're to blame, others mention Gandria decided to try their hand at war with Dracovia and some say it was the king of Dracovia who wanted a way to get rid of her in order to raise Y/N to his liking.“

Staring blankly at Cameron, Grayson could hardly breathe let alone say anything. Not playing the hero, he opened his drawer and found his inhaler, taking two puffs to help his airway clear.

''That's why she hates me, isn't it?“ His breathing strained, Grayson offered his sister a sincere tear as it slipped past his defenses and slid down his cheek. The tear got lost in his scruff, but his eyes are still glossy, a witness to how painful it was to hear of the unfortunate life his wife's mother had lived and how much it must have affected the love of his life.

''All I'm saying is that you need a lot more patience. She's been under his influence her whole life and while she's come a long way from the ice princess you've described, she's still got miles to go.“

Before he has a chance to respond, a guard runs into the study. Breathing heavily, the young man bows in respect before asking forgiveness for interrupting as well as permission to speak. Once granted, he informs Grayson of a worrisome choice his wife had made.

''The princess left this morning. She was with her lady, but they managed to evade security.“

The sadness leaves Grayson, but it's replaced with a fit of sinister anger he felt setting fires to his entire body – from the blood inside his veins to his mind. How could she leave without even saying something to him? How could she go unaccompanied in a country that tried to invade hers just last week? She may be his wife and he may love her, but his people still see her as the Dracovian royal blood from the stories they've heard for years on end.

They say she was born from ice, that she can transform into a dragon at will. They say she takes what she wants with fire and blood as any dragon would, but most of all – they say she can't be killed...that she can't even bleed easily and when she does that her blood isn't red, but blue.

Grayson knew the stories weren't true, of course...Anyone can be killed.

''You're telling me she's out there alone?“

While Grayson was losing his mind and sending out his men into town to find the wandering princess, Y/N had already returned to the castle, willingly.

Instead of heading back to her room, she finds her way to the cliff garden she once had breakfast at with her husband, the king. Standing atop the cliff, there's no denying she's got a lot on her mind. For the first time since she learned of her pregnancy, Y/N was faced with the reality of carrying a child in her womb. Seeing the tiny blob of cells growing inside her with each passing day had shaken her into a lucid, awake state. She was forced to think more of the new life she would bring to this world and she didn't want to be at war with the father. She had to find a way to mend their relationship and she had to be sincere. Her plans are all futile now for her blood is forever mixed with that of a Dolan. She'll be a Dolan now too...she'll be the dragon who will take the Dolan name and do whatever she has to for her child to grow up in a happy, safe home.

''Why would such a beauty ever be sad? It's a tragic sight to behold.“ The voice is alike Grayson's, but her senses alarm her to the difference in tone, color, emotion. The hairs on the back of her neck stand up, giving her a warning the man who is most certainly not her husband is extremely close to her – close enough for her to smell his heavy vanilla perfume and to feel the heat of his body.

''I'd say it's tragically human.“ She responds, very aware of every move he makes as he steps beside her and gives her some much-needed distance between them.

''There's nothing human about you.“ Ethan chuckles, honest to a fault. In his eyes, Y/N was most definitely a magical being – maybe not a dragon, but an angel at least. In angels he could believe.

''I'll have to disagree, but it's nice to know some still see me as the woman I was before I came here.“ Y/N sighed, casting a fleeting glance toward her brother in law, long enough to see he's relentless stare is set on her alone.

''Has my brother harmed you in some way?“ Ethan questioned, his eyebrows furrowed as if on command. His voice doesn't have the airy tone that's ever-present in their usual conversations which are far and in between. It's genuine worry, she concurs.

''If I ask something of you, could you give me an honest answer?“ Y/N turns to him entirely, no longer letting her eyes wander the ocean or the nearly finished road that leads to home that stretches as far as the eye can see. Ethan has her undivided attention and she can tell he's aware of it as he puffs out his chest and lifts his chin ever so slightly as a peacock would. She'd smile at the way he's so clearly showing her his interest, but she needed information and she had to use his affection for her benefit.

''Most certainly.“ Ethan's usual smirk is nowhere to be found as the serious persona takes over. She's aware his way of speaking is adapted to hers and she appreciates that just as much as his clear intention of helping her.

''Does Grayson keep paramours?“

''I'll be honest even if it hurts me longterm and say no. My brother hasn't even looked at another since we learned we'd have to compete in the kingly trials, months before there was need for them. My brother believes in love and marriage and for him, marriage is a lifelong commitment of loyalty.“ Ethan sighed at the slight curve of her pursed lips, aware he had made her feel better just enough for the air around them to change.

''He's a romantic then. I'm not sure I believe in love, prince Ethan.“ She sighed, her eyes falling to her feet – something he had never seen her do. That woman always had too much pride to walk with her head down.

''I wasn't sure either...I've believed love was for fools, a mere trap made by ancient witches to keep the loneliness away when their looks fade. It's obvious I was the fool for I hadn't been able to think straight nor slow down my heart since you came onto our shores. Your beauty has bewitched my very soul and I'm saddened as every day passes for I have to suffer...not only have I lost the throne, but the most beautiful woman that has ever walked the earth.“ Stepping closer to her, Ethan had nearly forced her off the cliff. Managing to capture her in his embrace, he moved to press his lips against her, at least once. With the taste of her lips upon his, he'd die a happy man for Grayson would surely kill him.

But, as the princess found her footing, so did her palm against the prince's cheek. The slap was quick and well-aimed and it didn't hurt his face as much as it hurt his heart. He understood then that she was already in love with his brother and as she rushed off toward the castle, Ethan wished he could turn back time and do the trials again. If he got the chance, he wouldn't let the throne go as easily as he did. He was never jealous of anything his brother had in their lives, but he was jealous now.

Out of breath, the princess didn't stop for anyone. She ran as fast as she could and she couldn't help but notice just how easier it is to move in jeans she decided on that morning instead of the dresses she usually wears. Sure, the jeans aren't nearly as beautiful or glamourous or as comfy either, but they're very handy in running away from conversations you don't want to have or situations you don't wanna be in.

Huffing, she stumbles into her bedroom, vision blotchy from the running.

''Someone's out of shape.“ A female voice startles her and Y/N nearly screams...She would if she had any strength to spend her breath on anything other than breathing at that moment.

''I'm Cameron, Grayson and Ethan's sister. I believe it's long overdue that we meet.“ Cameron smiles as Y/N walks closer to the sofa she sat on, stifling laughter for the poor girl looked winded and her cheeks had darkened to a crimson shade.

''I finally understand why my brothers act like besotted fools around you. I mean...you do have some cute jeans (genes)“, Cameron adds slyly, enjoying the confused look on Y/N's face way too much.

''Uh, thanks. My lady got these for me and I wasn't quite sure.“ Y/N ran a hand through her hair, deciding sitting with Cameron might not be a bad idea.

''Oh, I didn't mean your jeans! I meant your genes because those chromosomes combined beautifully.“ Cameron explained and it only made the blush on Y/N's cheeks grow. Out of all the things she expected would happen once she met someone other than Ethan in this family, to be flirted with so shamelessly was not one of them. But then again, she felt very flattered.

''Thank you.“ Y/N smiled, tilting her head to the left so slightly, pushing her hair back so effortlessly that Cameron could finally enjoy her elegance as well.

''You know...I kind of expected you to be a total bitch to me.“ Cameron chuckled, earning herself a raised eyebrow from the princess.

''Why is that? After all, you are my equal. Had Astros been as 'modern' as it claims, you'd be the Queen now and I might be married to you.“ Cameron knew the girl wasn't joking with her explanation and while the thought was certainly tempting, Cameron knew she needed to stir the princess in the right direction concerning her brother and their issues.

''You do realize you got the best Dolan. No one will love you like Grayson does, that's a promise. He's the good-hearted one. The one you can trust with your life...the kind of a man you can show bloody hands to and he'd bury the body to protect you. Y/N, he's out of his mind right now, looking for you in every corner of the city and all because he's scared they would kill you. And that would kill him.“ Cameron's words bring forth some guilt in Y/N's heart, mostly because she really didn't want to worry him.

At first, she had to take a walk to clear her head, but then she realized she needed to see a doctor about the baby and she couldn't just come out and tell everyone of her condition. So, with Lady Mareen's help, she found commoner clothes and went undetected. Not only did she know her child is healthy and alive, but she got some helpful pointers about diet, vitamins and everything she might need until the next month.

But before she can confide in Cameron, the trembling rage of her husband storms into the room and Y/N's wall is back up and all the progress she made with Cameron is gone.

''Leave.“ He growls at Cameron who whispers in his ear. ''Patience, brother. Remember that.“

He did try to be patient, but after months of being very nice and helpful and open to letting Y/N call the shots, Grayson was tired of being made a fool before everyone. Y/N had repaid his love with nothing but indifference and he wasn't patient any longer, especially when she was playing with her safety and as such, with his sanity.

''Why the fuck would you leave without a guard? Or telling me? HUH? WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU'D DISOBEY EVERY FUCKING RULE WE HAVE?!“ Grayson was screaming loud enough for the girl to tremble as if she was sent back to a distant memory she couldn't quite understand, hearing someone else screaming just as loudly, just as unforgivably.

''I...I wasn't hurt. No one even spared me a second glance. I was smart about it.“ She tried to keep her voice leveled and her wits about her, but she couldn't stop her eyes from watering and her fingers from shaking as she hooked them together to hide the telltale sign he had frightened her.

''YOU WEREN'T HURT TODAY! Y/N, for fuck's sake, you're not invincible, alright?! Your dragon blood can't save you from a bullet to the head!“

As Grayson stood towering above her, Y/N let out a shaky breath. The dread and anxiety deadened her mind and body. In her frozen state, she let out a shaky breath, closing her weary eyes. He was right and she knew it, but something about his approach had paralyzed her. She never felt as needed as she did with him, but in this particular moment she was barely holding on the idea and to all she wanted to discuss with him. She was terrified of him and of what he might do to her.

Instead of opening her eyes, she felt to her knees and curled up. Her arms hugged her stomach as if to shield the baby from his attack. She sobbed quietly as she waited for the pain to come, the pain she remembered being afflicted by others but never him.

‘’Y/N, love, what is it?” Grayson had fallen to the ground just as quickly, his arms surrounding her but not in order to harm her but to give her comfort, to give her the safety she forgot he promised her.

‘’Hit me anywhere but my belly. I’ll take everything, just don’t touch my belly.” She sobbed, unable to look at him and that’s when it finally hit him. She was scared he’d hit her…or worse, that he’d harm their baby. And even worse, Grayson realized she was used to being beaten by men and she thought he might do it to her as well.

‘’Y/N, baby, look at me.” Grayson cooed, his eyes overflowing with tears as his voice broke. It was an overwhelming feeling of absolute heartbreak for this woman he had come to love and cherish, but still struggled to understand fully and it’s because he was missing puzzle pieces he didn’t even know existed until today. And while everything she says is relevant, he realized he’d have to think about why it’s so significant to her…he’d have to watch her actions, her words and he’d have to find out about her past to truly know her complex soul. She is the strongest woman he’s ever met, yet she crumbled before his eyes and he was crumbling with her.

Once she looked at him, her teary eyes reluctantly settled on his as his own tears formed new paths down his cheeks.

‘’Y/N, I will never, ever hit you. I was just angry you put yourself at such a risk and because…Because if something happened to you, I’d never forgive myself. I’d lose my mind.” Grayson’s soft confession had scared her just as much as the possibility of him hitting her, but she just nodded, mute to her own feelings.

‘’I know you can’t say it back just yet, but I do love you. Wholeheartedly. And I know you think I’m none the wiser, but I know of the little dragon we’ll have too and I love him or her just as much. I will protect you no matter what happens, alright?” Grayson forced a smile for her own benefit but as he smiled, she had gotten a glimpse of a terrible future she would have to endure.

“Please, love. Please stay with me!” Y/N sobbed over Grayson as he struggled to draw in a breath, just one more breath of life that he’d use to tell her how much he loves her. Just long enough for her sorrow to be lessened.

“I need you. Grayson, our son needs you! If you die, we’ll be doomed. Please, stay. You promised to protect me…to protect us. We…We have so many plans, remember? So many plans! I need you here!”

Grayson smiles as widely as he can, enough to hide just how much pain he’s in or how much it hurts to know he’s broken all his promises. But he believes he’s protected them even now, even as he fades fast. “I…I-love...”

Opening her eyes wide as she draws in a sharp breath, Y/N swallows thickly.

“No one can protect me. You can’t even protect yourself.” Sniffling, Y/N wipes her tears away as her eyes fall back on the man she desperately wants to save but all she gets are glimpses and dreams of different ways she loses him. No matter what way it is, they all end with his death and her crying over his coffin.

“I’d give my life to protect you. If my life is the price I need to pay to save you two, I’d pay it gladly.” Grayson assures her and that’s exactly the reason why she’s so tormented. He’d die for her, yet he’d refuse to sign the crown matrimonial.

“What about crown matrimonial, huh? If you die, our child and I will likely be executed. We’d die, Grayson and the only thing that can protect us isn’t you, but your signature on a piece of paper.” Y/N chuckled dryly once he seemed to be silent for hours while it was likely only a few minutes.

“I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, Y/N. And if I do, Ethan would protect you.” Grayson frowns deeply, biting his lower lip in thought.

“You mean the same man who tried to force a kiss on me today? Because I don’t think he’d enjoy being a babysitter for the throne he’d never get to keep! If he got the feel of it, he’d never let it go and you know it just as well as I do.” Y/N states. Licking her lips, she knows she’s caught him off guard with not only the revelation of his brother’s advancements but of his quest for power as well. Grayson knew Ethan always wanted to be the king and he would have let him have the crown before he saw what comes with it. He didn’t want to believe the worst of his brother, but Y/N’s worst did cast a shadow of doubt and it wouldn’t go away anytime soon.

“I’ll deal with my brother, but know I won’t be signing that paper. Not when your goal was always to kill me and take the throne yourself.” Grayson stands abruptly, throwing her plan to her face to cover up his own guilt and insecurities.

“How long have you known?” She barely speaks, her throat closing up as if there’s not enough air for her to breathe.

“Since the first night. I’ve shared your bed ever since, addicted to you and the hope you may care for me as much I care for you. But I see I was wrong. You don’t love me and you never will. If you did, you wouldn’t use our child to manipulate me into signing the crown matrimonial and you wouldn’t try to push a wedge between my brother and I. You’ve broken my belief in love, so congratulations. You’ve won there, but I’m no longer willing to play the puppet in your show.”

Swallowing thickly, Grayson turns to leave. He’s ready to leave, to go and leave her behind, so hollow and yet filled with sorrow to the brim. She’s truly beaten him in all heart matters that Grayson can hardly believe it.

“Where are you going?” She manages to say despite tears welling up in her eyes. She wasn’t using their child as a pawn in this game of love and thrones, because she knew his future would be short and violent and it was hard enough to know she’d lose him but to lose her own child? That would kill her. It was of no use to tell herself she didn’t love him any longer, but she couldn’t tell him…not now. Had she told him last night, they would be wrapped around each other now, lost in their well-rehearsed dance of sensual touch and pleasure, but she didn’t. Anything she says now wouldn’t have meaning to him for he’d assume she’s lying.

She wanted to scream for him to stay as he gripped the doorknob, to beg and demean herself if it meant he’d remain in their bed and hold her close. She’d do anything, but it would be of no use.

“My room.” He responded coldly, his back turned on her, unaware just how badly she’s breaking.

“But…this is your room. Our room. Grayson…” She wanted to say the words, to let him know she loves him just as much if not more than he could ever love her. After all, she was willing to forget all her plans and forgive all his sins, just for him to look at her as softly and lovingly as he used to.

Did he even love her anymore, she wondered. Can someone stop loving you overnight? Can you truly stop loving someone as her mother and father had stopped loving each other? Would that be her story as well? Is it because she didn’t share the news of the baby before? Or because she didn’t tell him how she feels too? Or is it because he finally saw through her and decided he was wrong in loving her in the first place?

She wished she realized where her heart lies sooner. For every moment they spent apart, Y/N had found her mind wandering to Grayson and what he might be doing. She realized she was thinking only of him and she wondered how long he was on her mind. Then it occurred to her, he was there from day one.

“I suggest you get a good night of sleep, princess. You’re supposed to rest more.” Grayson left the room straight after, her sobbing sounding before he even closed the door behind him. Hearing her cry nearly pulled him back in but Grayson knew it would be of no use. If she didn’t love him by now, he had clearly failed and he needed to be a king now, not the man who had fallen for a woman who had no intention of letting him love her.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Tags: @graysavant @yaren-ates @beinscorpio @dolandolll @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @accalialionheart @peacedolantwins @heyits-claire @graydolan12 @gia-kerks @justordinaryjen @dopedoodes @sunshinedolantwins @pitreshawn @melodiesforari

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wirelessrouterworld · 6 years

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how does wireless router can affect us

join the Royal Navy in 1960 and I specialized in microwave warfare radar obviously which uses microwave but they don't just teach you radar they teach you all about microwaves and other uses so I understood about microwave warfare and how it can damage people how it can harm people and when I finished with the Royal Navy I was also a diver in the Royal Navy and microwaves are used in underwater mines as booby traps you can which would actually got me interested because I was actually taking a bomb to pieces underwater and it was too complicated and I brought it to the surface and my partner that was on the surface that said don't be an idiot take it back down he said if somebody's beaming you with microwaves they'll go right through you and as you open the casing trigger a photoelectric cell and it'll blow over all of us up and they any said if it doesn't go through to the bomb you lame it at your head and make you make a mistake and that's really got me interested from that point because I thought well how can microwaves going into your brain make you make a mistake and and I I asked a lot of questions I have a very curious brain and the forces they're very good at explaining things and telling you things so that I did that and I also did a medical course while I was in to help me understand everything and when I left a small part of my job was to question captured agents spies terrorists because microwaves then were used as weapons as they are today it is a perfect stealth weapon and when governments don't like a group of people for instance that the ladies who protest at Greenham common in England about the American missile base they camped they were microwaved we microwave Catholics in Northern Ireland to make them sick it goes on all over the world and it's a weapon that you don't know you're being targeted because the dose is very very low which is actually more dangerous than a high dose it's very very low and it may take a year or two but you can you can cause neurological damage and cancers with low level microwaves and you can make all your opponents sick it it's a perfect weapon for a government to you so that was going on and I gathered all the information about that from people who were captured from other countries to find out what technologies they had what pulse frequencies they used but as I said it was only a small part of my work but because I was highly trained in it and I was useful it just became a part of my working structure along with master criminals and terrorists and all sorts of people that I found incredibly interesting actually to talk to very very interesting and then when I left there I took a job teaching and I taught advanced level physics and I specialized in nuclear and atomic radiation and again microwaves and I've just always been in microwaves and then it was a doctor I went to see a doctor once as most teachers do with a sore throat and he he said as most doctors do it viral there's nothing I can do for you and I was leaving and he said hang on Barry he said he said you're a physicist and I said yeah and he said can you explain something he said I went to a house that had a cot death five years ago and the family moved and a new family moved in they had a new baby the COTS was in exactly the same place and there was another clot death and he said five years apart and he said there's a transmitter the other side of the child's bedroom wall could the transmitter cause the clock death and I said I don't know I said but I'll look into it and then I found that microwaves were involved and I knew what microwaves did and a while later I went back to the doctor I wrote a paper on it and I said there's your answer microwaves can cause hot death by two or three different mechanisms and there's your answer and then for some reason he told somebody who told somebody and people started phoning me up and writing to me saying can you explain this or can you help with that I've never actually asked anyone if I can do anything they always come to me and then the police came to me and said we're getting this new tetra airwave system we don't understand what's happening can you read all this scientific rubbish and just put it into Janet and John and tell us no said core second so that was published and and since then it's it's snowboard and snowboard and snowboard and now I receive up to a thousand communicate a week from various countries various people and I can't handle it so and I'm here now because somebody asked me to come here wife I think anyone who puts Wi-Fi into a school should be locked up for the rest of their life I really do I think they're not fit to walk on the surface of this planet because they haven't looked at the research and whatever incentive they have it is not worth the genetic problems that parents are going to face with their children when they're born and if you think of a single parent a mother who has a genetically deformed child that that particular month that mother will feel guilty because she gave birth she will feel guilty and she will be worried every single second of every single day for her life she will worry that the child won't marry if the child can marry she'll worry that the children will carry the disease which they will she will worry when she dies who will take care of them so you are condemning both the family and the children to a lifetime of absolute hell and this is already published it is available to look up it's what I call intentional ignorant they are offered some sort of incentive and they think all this is going to be good we'll have it now the problem is imagine you are a 15 year old school girl all of the 400,000 eggs in your ovaries were with you at Birth they're not fully developed but they're with you they are ten times more susceptible to radiation than all of the other DNA in the body and scientists don't realize that they don't read all of the papers as I do so you have this highly susceptible genetic material which is going to make your children and you are irradiating it because wi-fi's they are transmitters as well as the rooters as well as the ones either side of you they are all transmitting at this height through your ovaries so you are risking the damage the DNA damage offer your child every time you sit down and you use Wi-Fi and it's like saying if I smoke a cigarette which one will cause the damage the answer is I don't know it could be the one today so you now have a child that has a probability of being genetically damaged but the real damage is when that child grows up you have genetic material in your ovaries which could be damaged now the real problem comes so you have a child that could be born genetically damaged but the real problem comes when you become pregnant if you are a teacher or a mature students and you become pregnant because the embryo inside your womb in the first 100 days all of those 400 thousand eggs are forming in your embryo your child's ovaries so your child could be born with genetically damaged eggs and the main thing about the eggs in the ovaries of your child is that they have absolutely no protection it hasn't been developed yet we have a natural protection against microwaves it was developed since the Stone Age against thunderstorms and massive amounts of radiation coming into our body but in the your embryo your uterus in the fetus where your child is developing for the first 100 days in the ovaries the eggs do not have that protection so they are at maximum risk from radiation and for the first month or so you wouldn't even know you were pregnant you wouldn't even be taking precautions that is the main danger area so you give birth to a daughter but her ovaries are now contaminated she may be normal she may be genetically damaged but her ovaries are at the most risk so when your daughter grows up and she becomes pregnant and has a baby this is where one of these eggs will be fertilized and come out so the real damage here is your grandchildren that is where it is going to show most and we already see this in animals that have reproductive cycles of a year or two years or three years that we're already seeing this and it has been published by veterinary schools and vets and scientists so we know this happens and it's also been documented in the Cold War when women were deliberately microwaved so we know it does happen the documents are there and what you're risking by putting Wi-Fi into schools is the future generations of all of these girls but it gets worse because this particular DNA the mitochondrial DNA inside you and the DNA inside you the mitochondrial DNA you can trace unchanged to your mother her mother her mother right the way back to the beginning of the human race in Africa a Stone Age you can trace your ancestors if you could right back to the very first lady it is unchanged the magical and that is being unchanged in your children which means if you damage it your child could be genetically damaged then her child and her child and her child forever you are condemning the future generations of every single child until there are no more lines left in the female in your family you must stop some but a female must stop producing children for this to stop mm-hmm so when you put Wi-Fi in schools what you're saying is for the sake of a little bit of money that saves getting a workman in to drill holes through the walls to feed cable because it's cheaper we're just going to put Wi-Fi in but you can have genetically damaged children for the rest of your family's career that's what we're saying so what we have here is an EMF detector and what this does is measuring magnetic electric in radio microwave frequencies essentially dangerous frequencies that are set off by electric devices that can cause sickness and disease most especially like cancer so we're going to measure a couple things in the kitchen first thing we're going to measure is the microwave so if we start the microwave you can see here just so you know how this works at first the magnetic is the most dangerous so that's what we're going to check so we set it to zero to three when you get to three that's the red zone that's considered the most dangerous anything with that as magnetic range of past three is considered very dangerous once it gets to three you go to the top range and that goes from three to 100 but right since three that's considered very dangerous so all this is dangerous obviously the more close to 100 or better is the more dangerous so we're going to start the microwave see what happens okay so immediately goes right to three so let's go to zero to a hundred range and it's still way past 100 so obviously the closer the worse it is so as we come further back we'll see how far it stays past 100 this is considered extremely dangerous still is as long as it's past three it's dangerous we're all the way past there now getting closer let's see when it stops it's at 100 we're about four and a half feet away right now immediately back to zero so that's how dangerous the microwave so in addition to taking all the vitamins and nutrients and radiating your food the microwave just standing within about four and a half to five feet of it is dangerous for you because of all the magnetic rays that it has now let's go see some other things in the kitchen so we're going to leave the range on 0 to 100 just to see this is the refrigerator so we have a new one in old order going to see what happens so putting against it it's right at the danger line it's right at 3:00 the freezer gets a little bit worse now we have an old one here and it goes way up you can see the older models have a lot more magnetic frequencies now what's the point of knowing this about your fridge rater I want to show you something in the back so if you go to the back of your refrigerator and you look what happens is it immediately goes all the way up past 100 just like the microwave now what's the importance of knowing this is where your refrigerator is located based on what's behind it is what's very important so if we have this refrigerator right up against this wall in our bedroom with our beds right against the other side then we're going to be having this magnetic frequency going right into our head while we're sleeping other things you want to avoid are this exam this is a standard Mac laptop computer so we put this on top and as you can see we're still in the 0 to 100 range it immediately goes way off the charts past 100 now what does that mean to you these are something that people keep on their lap so we look here going back as soon as I get within a couple inches of it goes way off the charm em Burr 3 is what's dangerous we're all the way up past 100 when I touch it so what does that mean you don't want to put a laptop on your lap that's why Apple is no longer pulling these laptops they're calling them personal computers because when you put this on the web you're having it right on top of your reproductive organs really bad place to do that they make a slab that thin slab that you can put if you really eat to have this on your lap to put it on your lap before you put the computer on and it'll be helpful to you is because it stops all of the radiation here comes another big one we're going to try a couple of cell phones so this is a Apple iPhone 5 we're still on the 0 to 100 range we're just made a phone call and look how bad it goes up that's the back side and of course the front side just is bad now the phone call just stopped and let's see what happens you can see even without a phone call the range still goes up and down the reason that is is because every time your phone is looking for service the range goes up to about 50 and this is this is why it's a good idea to keep this out of your pocket if you keep this in a knapsack or something like that or when you get somewhere take it out of your pocket if you have to on how to use these phones the best way is with the headphones that connect not through wires but through the air I'll have a link for that below um blackberries are just dead as soon as I make a phone call with this you'll see it goes directly to a hundred so we're on the zero to 100 range blackberries making a phone call it's stuck past 100 that's the back of the phone and the front of the phone where you talk both of them terrible you can see is they go away it goes down that far it's still up that's while making a phone call now without any phone call you can see it the range is still detecting look at that it's a 10 to 15 this is what you get when you keep the phone in your pocket one other place that this magnetic range goes way past 100 is when you're on a plane so one of the ways to help you with that is by taking what's called astaxanthin this is one of my favorites this is something that I take every day anyway it helps with radiation from the Sun as well the normal dose dr. Mercola recommends is 4 to 12 milligrams so I take one a day when I'm going on a plane I take three of them which gives you 12 milligrams there's a lot more protection but I've tried this one I'm on a plane and zero to 100 range is immediately pinned in for the entire flight and that's based on being closer to the Sun while you're in a big giant metal box essentially there's so much radiation to come there and if you look you can do a Google search unfortunately the people that work in in Airlines whether it be pilots or flight attendants they have a lot of problems with skin cancer and that's exactly why so one of the things you can take if you have no choice to put to fly and especially during the day is in astaxanthin like I suggest and I never go they always opt out of the big x-ray machine not not the standard x-ray machine don't go through but the one that is the powerful I always opt out of that so I hope this is helpful to you and you think about this throughout your day ways to avoid getting sick or lowering your immunity or getting terrible diseases like cancer and more on this kind of thing can be found on my website the art of unity calm goodbye you

#best wireless router for beginners #best wireless router for large homes #best wirless routers for gaming #best wireless routers review

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foursprout-blog · 7 years

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Why Do We Fall in Love? Science Can Explain

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/why-do-we-fall-in-love-science-can-explain/

Why Do We Fall in Love? Science Can Explain

What’s the point of love? I’m not asking this to set myself up as the troubled lead in a rom-com who, after a series of montages, will eventually learn to open her heart and love again. I’m seriously asking: Why do we love? It must pose some evolutionary advantage, or love would have faded away with Cro-Magnon foreheads. But why on Earth would we evolve to be overwhelmed by an emotion that makes us act like Logan Paul in a Japanese forest, which is to say, a completely irrational idiot?