#and the one person whos had your back through a lot of it is now

[star-anise]

Disclaimer: I like Anita Sarkeesian.

But also, I just saw a writeup of a Youtuber whose content has come a long way from his Gamergate days, and to explain that, the wiki says, "Anita Sarkeesian is a radical feminist who created a webseries about sexist tropes in video games"

AHAHAHAHAHA ANITA SARKEESIAN, RADICAL FEMINIST

HOO HEE EXCUSE ME THAT'S A GOOD ONE

Radical feminist. Feminist extremist. Anita Sarkeesian.

Anita Sarkeesian did her Master's Thesis in Social and Political Thought in 2010 on the trope of the "Strong Woman" in fantasy and science fiction TV shows, and produced Tropes vs Women, a series of online videos breaking down her work in a way that was accessible to a lay audience. She found a ready audience in geek feminist circles, since this was exactly the kind of thing we wanted and needed right then.

Tropes vs Women was extremely bog-standard cultural critique, what you'd find expressed in discussion between scholars of literary theory or media analysis anywhere, and exactly what 99% of feminists were saying at the time. It certainly talked about patriarchy as the complex system of sexism fused into our cultural matrix, so it's not like it wasn't radical feminism from that viewpoint, but it wasn't "radical" by way of being especially militant. Sarkeesian frequently pointed out how individual occurrences of a trope weren't harmful in themselves, but that a media landscape completely saturated with only that trope and nothing but that trope is, in the aggregate, a big feminist issue.

And the internet

HAAAAAAAATED

her for it.

Like, geek feminists got flak a lot anyway, especially when we wanted things like properly enforced policies against sexual harassment at science fiction conventions. And yeah, there totally were toxic keyboard warriors who said stuff about all men being scum - but Sarkeesian wasn't one of them.

It's probably because of her succinct, matter-of-fact, "this is not a debated issue, feminists have decades of theory and research to back this point up, sources abound if you google for thirty seconds so I won't stop to baby you through all the fundamental concepts" approach that she got such a big reach. She was calm, concise, coherent, and rational, everything feminists are told we need to be.

Unfortunately that just made her seem... attackable, I think. A good target, not actually scary or impassioned, unlikely to respond to violence with violence. The perfect kind of person to play five seconds of, and then spend the next five minutes yelling into your mic because IF ANITA IS RIGHT ABOUT VIDEO GAME SEXIST YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY THAT EVERYTHING IS SEXIST AND SEXISM IS SYSTEMIC AND ENDEMIC TO ALL OF WESTERN CULTURE AND OTHER CULTURES TOO, WHICH IS CLEARLY RIDICULOUS, ANITA LADY BAD.

She literally spent five solid years as Enemy #1 in online geek spaces. It was completely insane. I am so sorry she had to take the brunt of it, and yet grateful that she did. She held the line and took the shit and kept doing good decent feminist work for years after, though she did admit to burnout and closed up shop on her nonprofit org Feminist Frequency in 2023. I hope to hell she's having a good day.

But even now, more than a decade later, dudes talk about her as though she were Geek Feminist Godzilla, the biggest baddest woman in the universe, off to lay waste to downtown Video Games and cut everybody's balls off.

When people (mostly dudes, but not all) talk like this, it's just very funny and unintentionally revealing because of the absolute averageness of her third-wave, trans-inclusive, western-centric, intersectional feminism. It makes them look absolutely pathetic.

Because it just makes it clear that she is probably the first and last self-described feminist the speaker has ever paid attention to.

[kirammanswifey]

arcane characters breaking up with you x fem reader

characters: viktor, jinx, vi, caitlyn, jayce, ekko, silco, mel and sevika.

writer's note: gosh i loovee drama i'ts so spicy and fun! btw i cried a lot with ekko's... anyways request are open, darlings ;)

reconciliation link:

alternative sad final link:

Viktor

The laboratory was shrouded in a deep silence, the kind of silence that feels heavy, as if the air itself was dense, pressing down on your chest. The light from the screens flickered in the darkness, casting shadows that moved with the rhythm of the science Viktor had created. He was there, motionless in front of the table covered in blueprints, his head lowered, as if struggling with something he couldn’t share.

You stood there for a moment, watching him in silence, waiting for him to break the silence, but something in his posture told you he wouldn’t. The distance between you felt greater than you could bear, and the knot in your stomach grew heavier with each passing second. Finally, you couldn’t take it any longer.

“Viktor…” Your voice trembled, but you forced it to sound strong. Every word felt like a challenge to your own fear. “What’s going on?”

He didn’t look at you, but his shoulders tensed. The sigh that escaped his lips was full of something you couldn’t recognize. It wasn’t frustration, nor exhaustion. It was something worse, something you already feared.

“You don’t understand, do you?” he finally said, his voice low but clear. “I can’t stop now. This is bigger than us. I can’t lose what I’ve been building. The machine… the transformation… It’s the only way to save myself, to save us.”

A cold shiver ran down your spine. It couldn’t be. You were sure you must have misheard, but the words kept echoing in your head like a drumbeat. It wasn’t just about science. It wasn’t just his obsession. Viktor was pushing you away. And the pain, the pain was unbearable.

You stepped forward, your heart pounding in your throat. How could he do this to you?

“Is that all I am to you?” Your voice was a whisper, but the venom of desperation was there, cutting through your words. “An obstacle? Something you have to leave behind? All this time, everything I’ve done for you… And this is what I get?”

Finally, Viktor looked at you. But it wasn’t the look you expected. His eyes, so cold, so distant, weren’t the eyes of the person you had known. It wasn’t the Viktor you had protected, the one you had loved. It was someone else, someone who no longer saw in you what they once did.

“I do love you, you know?” he said, his voice broken, as if the words were becoming harder and harder to say. “I love you more than you can imagine, but this… this is bigger than us. This is the future, and I can’t risk losing it because… because of something as small as my own feelings.”

The words came out of his mouth as though they were the only thing left inside him. And you, standing there in front of him, felt the ground crumbling beneath your feet. The pain, the betrayal, cut through you like blades.

“And what about us, Viktor?” you said, unable to stop the mix of anger and sadness in your voice. “What about everything we’ve shared? Everything we’ve been through together? Doesn’t that mean anything? Nothing to you?”

He took a step back, each word he spoke a wall being built between you two. With each word, you felt smaller, more invisible. As if he had already made his choice.

“I can’t go on. I can’t be the person you need. If I stay… if I stay with you, all of this… everything I’ve built, everything I am, will crumble. I can’t be that person anymore.”

The pain overwhelmed you in an instant. A silent sob began to rise, but you didn’t let it escape. The knot in your throat tightened, but the words couldn’t come out anymore. You felt empty, as if the air you were breathing was the same air that had killed everything that once meant something to you.

“Then, goodbye, Viktor.” Your words were a broken whisper. “I can’t wait for you to choose between me and your obsessions. I won’t stay here, watching you lose yourself in something you don’t even know what it is.”

Viktor didn’t say anything more. There was no attempt to stop you, no plea, not even a look of regret. Just the sound of his breathing, shallow, as if something inside him was breaking too, but it was too late.

The door slammed shut behind you, the sound of the wood ringing in your ears. And Viktor, inside, remained alone with his experiments, his machines, and the man who had decided that everything else had to go.

Jinx

You approached her softly, as you always did, trying to calm her, trying to make her focus on you again. But you knew this wasn’t the same Jinx who used to laugh and be unpredictable. Something in her gaze told you she had gotten lost, that her thoughts were no longer hers, that the chaos in her mind had taken control.

Suddenly, Jinx stopped moving. She stood still, staring into the void, and everything around her grew quieter. Then, she began to murmur, as if speaking to herself, but her words weren’t clear. You grew concerned, stepping closer, but that was when her body reacted violently, out of control.

You didn’t understand what was happening until you felt the sting of a blow. You hadn’t seen it coming, but the pain hit you instantly. In that moment, fear took over, and your body trembled as you tried to comprehend the magnitude of what had just happened. Jinx looked at you, but her eyes weren’t focused on you. She was trapped, lost in a hallucination.

The voices started. “Kill her! She’s going to betray you, Jinx! Kill her before she leaves you!” The voice was cruel, disdainful, so cold. And then, another voice, softer but equally terrifying: “She hates you. She doesn’t want you, Jinx. Let her go before you do it again!”

You froze, watching the confusion in her eyes, the terror on her face. This wasn’t her. This wasn’t the Jinx you knew. She was caught in an internal struggle, a battle that you couldn’t fight for her.

You stepped closer to her, despite the blood dripping from your nose and your trembling hands. Jinx was crouched down, her eyes lost in an empty space, her hands covering her face as if she could hide the pain and chaos she had just caused. But you knew you couldn’t run from this. You couldn’t leave her now. Not after everything you’d been through together. And not after the promise you made to her.

“Sweets,” you whispered, so softly that you weren’t even sure she could hear you. “Please, look at me.”

Tears kept falling from her eyes, but she didn’t see you. Jinx didn’t see you. And the blow she had struck you moments ago seemed like a distant memory compared to what was happening now: the emptiness she was feeling. The war in her head.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” she whispered, her voice broken, shattered. “I didn’t want… I didn’t want to hurt you. I can’t… I can’t do it again. I… I hurt you.”

You knelt in front of her, searching for her eyes, feeling the knot in your throat. But she wouldn’t look at you. She was trapped. And you knew what that meant.

“Wake up, babe,” you said firmly, taking her hands. “I promised you. I won’t leave you. Not now, not ever.”

The voices in her mind began to rumble, like an overwhelming wave, growing louder, rougher. “She’s going to kill you! Kill her before it’s too late! It’s best for her! Do it now!”

“No… no,” Jinx said, covering her ears as if she could silence them. “No… I’ll hurt you… I don’t want to lose you! I swear I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m a monster!”

You stood up, forcing Jinx to look at you, taking her by the shoulders. “You’re not a monster. You’re not, Jinx. I promised you I wouldn’t leave you. I promised!”

But Jinx started sobbing, with a desperation so deep it hurt to see her like this. “You… you don’t understand. I’m the cause of all this. I’m the worst for you… It’s going to hurt so much if I stay close. You’re going to die! I’m the reason why you…”

“No!” you interrupted, gripping her hands tightly. “Don’t say that. I’m not leaving. I need you. You’re the only one who… who has understood me. Don’t leave me. I promised I’d be by your side.”

Jinx pulled away from you with a sigh, her face filled with guilt and desperation. “You deserve something better, something… more. You don’t have to stay. You don’t have to put up with my madness, you don’t have to stay for me.”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else!” you shouted, desperate. “You’re what I want. You’re what I’ve always wanted. Don’t leave me!”

But Jinx walked away, her steps wavering but firm. “I can’t… I don’t want to be the cause of your death, the cause of… the worst. You’ve given me everything, you’ve given me more than I deserve, but… you could be happy without me. I’m a burden, a curse. And… and I don’t want to lose you more. I don’t want to kill you.”

The voices in her mind grew more intense, more cruel: “Do it! Let her go, Jinx! She’s better off without you.”

“Wait!” you screamed, your eyes filled with tears. “You’re not a burden! I love you, Jinx, I love you! I promised I wouldn’t leave you alone, and I won’t leave you now!”

But Jinx’s words were clear, heartbreaking. “You… you’d be happy without me. I’m the reason for all the pain, for everything that’s made you suffer. And if I stay… I’ll hurt you, I’ll always do it.”

Jinx took a step back, her heart breaking inside, while you kept holding on to her. “I’m leaving. Because… because if I stay close, I’ll do the same thing as always. And you… don’t deserve that.”

“No,” you whispered, your voice broken but determined. “I need you. I need you, Jinx.”

But she was already so lost in her own mind that she couldn’t hear you.

She looked at you for a long moment, her eyes filled with guilt and sadness, and with a painful sigh, she turned away. “I’m sorry… I swear. I’m so sorry.” And in that instant, she left you behind.

Vi

When you enter the house, the sound of Vi limping towards you makes you take a step forward. You stay still, observing her wounds: a black eye, swollen lips, blood still dripping from a cut on her arm.

"Vi," you begin, anger taking over you, "You can't keep doing this! I can't see you like this! For a few damn coins? I can pay for everything you need, whatever you want, you don't have to do this!"

Vi shoots you a glaring look, her breath heavy from the effort, but her pride intact. "What do you know, huh? What the hell do you know about sacrifice? About fighting to survive, about having no other option but to fuck yourself over to get more than scraps?"

"You don't have to fight, Vi. You don't have to risk your life like this, for a few damn coins. I can give you whatever you want!" you shout, tears threatening to spill, the helplessness making your voice tremble. "I don't want you to hurt yourself for pride! I want you, and you're killing me seeing you like this!"

Vi takes a step back, her look as hard as stone. "I don't need anything from you! No money, no help! I can take care of myself, do you hear me? I'm not your damn fragile doll, I'm not your entertainment! I'm not your fucking fun."

"It's not that! It's not fun, I care about you, Vi! I can't stand seeing you destroy yourself over something so stupid!" Your breathing grows more ragged, your heart pounding hard in your chest. "I don't want you to keep destroying yourself for pride!"

Vi laughs bitterly, her tone cruel. "You think you're the only one who knows what it is to suffer? You think just because you're some princess from Piltover you can judge me for what I do, for what I am? You've never had to fight for anything in your life! You were born in a fucking silk bed, surrounded by luxuries, and you don't know what it's like to live in the shit, in the mud of Zaun."

The poison in her words hits you like a slap. "Why do you judge me like that when you know it's not true? I've told you, I want to help you, get you out of this shitty life that's consuming you."

Vi takes another step back, her eyes full of disdain. "And what, now you want to make me your project? Your experiment? A poor girl from Zaun who can throw her whole world away just so you can feel better about yourself? Is that what you want? To have a 'girl from the slums' story? I bet you'd get bored of me! Of me and what I am!"

Your words choke in your throat, the truth of her accusations ripping through the air between you. Vi keeps staring harshly, stepping back again. "I'm not what you need, and that's it. I don't want you to be my savior, I don't want to be your fucking project. I'm not going to stay here, waiting for you to cure me, to turn me into something I'm not."

"Vi..." you whisper, tears now falling uncontrollably from your face. "Why... why are you doing this to me?"

"Because we don't have to be together. If I stay with you, I'll just kill you too." Vi takes one last step back, and her voice softens, but not enough to stop the damage. "I don't want to be your fun anymore, I don't want to be your damn experiment. I want you to be happy, to live your life. Far from me."

The silence says it all. Vi turns around, and before you can say anything else, she leaves, leaving you alone in the cold space, with only your tears and her broken words remaining.

Caitlyn

The light in the cell is dim, the coldness of the place surrounds you as you stand there, completely in shock. The shackles on your wrists are a brutal reminder of what just happened. You can't believe it. Caitlyn, the woman who showed you love, the one you thought would never hurt you, has left you here, between these cold and dark walls.

The door creaks open, and there she is, Caitlyn. Her face, usually full of compassion and determination, is now empty, almost indifferent. You watch her approach, and for a moment, you hope she'll come to free you, that she'll tell you it was all a misunderstanding. But no.

"Why?" you manage to say, your voice broken with pain. "Cait... do you really think I could betray you?"

She doesn't answer immediately. She just looks at you with eyes full of conflict, her face serious, even cold. The tension in the air is palpable, and you can see the internal struggle in her. Finally, she sighs, and her words come out of her mouth like a sentence.

"I don't know," she replies coldly. "You're under suspicion now. I can't let you escape."

The weight of her words falls on you like a stone. Your heart stops for a moment, and a lump in your throat prevents you from speaking. You can't believe what you've just heard. The woman who swore to protect you, the one who shared your bed and your laughter, now accuses you of being a traitor.

"But... I just wanted to bring peace, Caitlyn," you whisper, feeling how despair is consuming you. "How can you think I would do something like that? I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just wanted..." The words break in your throat, and the anguish in your chest is unbearable. "Do you really think I'll be capable of lying to you and cause a revolution?"

Caitlyn closes her eyes for a moment, as if she’s searching for answers she can’t find. "I can't risk it, I can't let what you did go unanswered," she says, her voice harder now. "My duty is to Piltover, to justice. I can't be weak."

You step closer to her, hands outstretched, tears overflowing from your eyes. "Caitlyn, please, don't do this to me... I'm not the traitor you think I am. I love you. We promised we'll always have each other's back. Don't you remember that?"

She takes a step back, and her expression hardens even more. "I'm sorry," she says with a broken voice, but her eyes show no regret. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this. I can't let you remain free, not after everything you've put into doubt."

And before you can say anything else, Caitlyn turns her back to you, her footsteps moving away. "I'll keep you in the cell until everything is resolved," she says without turning. "But I can't trust you now."

The door slams shut with a metallic noise, and the sound of the locks clicking into place is all you hear. You fall to your knees, the anguish overtaking you. All you wanted was to be with her, to do the right thing, but now you're here, a prisoner of a justice you don't understand. The betrayal hurts, not because it was done to you, but because the person you love most has now turned their back on you.

Jayce

The conversation had started calmly, like all the others. But something had changed. The tension in the air grew as the words left your lips, and you could see the discomfort on Jayce's face.

"Jayce, enough," you say, your words full of frustration. "I know you want to do great things, but not at the cost of everything else. You can't keep sacrificing everything for your ambition."

He looks at you, surprise and annoyance mixing in his eyes. "I don't understand what you mean," he replies, his tone tense. "Do you think I'm doing this just for myself? I'm fighting for a better future for everyone."

"You don't see it, Jayce!" you shout, unable to contain the emotion choking you. "You've forgotten about the people who really matter to you. Everything you do is for power, for control, for your image. There's no place for me in your life, no space for what we are."

Jayce crosses his arms, his gaze harder than ever. "Is that what you think? That everything I do makes no sense? I'm trying to save Piltover, build something bigger than us. And what do you want? For me to give you more time to be by your side? For everything to revolve around you?"

The pain pierces your chest like a dagger. "It was never about that, Jayce," you say with a broken voice. "I always wanted to be by your side, support you in what you do. But I feel like a shadow. Like you can never see me, like my life, my dreams, everything I am, isn't enough."

He takes a step back, and the distance between the two of you seems to grow with every word that leaves his mouth. "You don't understand," he says coldly, his eyes now so distant. "What I do is bigger than anything I could offer you. If you can't understand that, if you can't meet me at my level, then maybe we're not what we thought we were."

"What are you saying?" you ask, feeling your heart flip. "Are you telling me that everything we've been doesn't matter? That I'm not enough for you?"

Jayce takes a deep breath, as if trying to calm his own thoughts before speaking. "It's not that. But I'm tired of you asking me to put you above everything I'm trying to build. If that means losing you, then..." his voice cracks for a second, but he recovers quickly. "Then it's what I have to do."

An emptiness opens in your stomach, and the world seems to crumble around you. "So you're leaving me. Just like that, as if I never meant anything to you." You look at him with disappointment.

Jayce lowers his gaze, avoiding your eyes, and his words hit like a blow. "I don't want you dragging me backward. You have to understand, I can't do this anymore."

Tears well up in your eyes, but you don't let them fall. "If that's what you want, Jayce, if that's what you really think is best for you, then goodbye. I hope you don't lose yourself on your way to perfection."

And in that moment, the words between you become empty. Jayce turns around, without even looking at you one more time, and walks away without saying another word. You stand there, in the middle of the place you once considered your refuge, while the echo of his indifference lingers in your ears.

Ekko

The house is silent, but the air is thick with tension. Ekko's gaze, which usually radiated passion and energy, now seems empty, lost in thoughts that don't include you. You watch him from the door, the knot in your throat preventing you from speaking.

"Ekko," you manage to say, your voice almost breaking, "I can't take it anymore."

He looks at you, seeming surprised, but he doesn't approach. The silence stretches between you two, as if you both know what's coming but neither of you wants to say it.

"What can't you take anymore?" his voice is low, as if he's too exhausted to argue. "What do you want me to do, huh? I'm doing what I have to do for Zaun, for everyone here. I can't just stop. I can't anymore."

"Can't stop? Are you really saying that?" Anger begins to take control, and helplessness mixes with pain. "Ekko, I've been watching you disappear more and more into your missions, your plans, everything that keeps you busy in Zaun. And I... what am I to you? A nuisance? A distraction?"

Ekko takes a step back, the exhaustion on his face becoming more evident. "It's not that, but..." He falls silent for a moment, as if words aren't enough to explain how he feels. "I can't keep living in two worlds, in two realities, and you know it. Zaun needs all of me, and you... you don't understand what that means. I can't be the Zaun guy and be your boyfriend at the same time."

"So, all of this was a mistake?" you ask, desperation about to drown you. "Everything we shared? Everything we built? Doesn't that matter? Does Zaun matter more?"

"Yes, sometimes it matters more," Ekko replies, his voice cold, but his gaze betrays him. "You... you're part of my life, I know. But I have to be objective and realistic, and no matter how much I love you, right now, you can't be a priority in my life. I can't be who you want me to be anymore. I can't be the guy who fights for you and for Zaun at the same time. I need to be one or the other, and Zaun needs me now."

"And I need you too," you say, the pain in your words, "but you don't see it anymore, do you? I'm not enough, I'm not what you need. I feel used and stupid," you said angrily, kicking a chair.

Ekko looks at you, his gaze wavering, as if there's an internal struggle he can't win. "Believe me, no one wants this to work more than I do, baby, but I... I'm not capable of giving you what you want, and neither are you to me."

The silence stretches into what feels like an eternity. You approach him, desperation overtaking you. "Ekko, please. Think about it one more time, we can't leave things like this. You've taught me to fight. Isn't it worth fighting for this?"

"Sometimes there are battles that aren't worth fighting because you know you'll never win them," he said, his words burning like acid in his throat. He kissed your forehead and stepped away from your personal space. "I'm sorry..." he murmured, and for a moment, he seemed tempted to hug you, but he didn't. "I'm sorry. But this is what's best for both of us."

The words destroy both of you.

Reality hits you like a bucket of cold water in the middle of winter. Everything you'd feared, everything you'd known deep in your heart, is happening. Ekko is pulling away, and even though you understand, you can't accept that the love you shared is no longer enough to keep him.

"Is this for real?" you ask, tears falling uncontrollably. "Is this what you're giving me? A cold goodbye because Zaun is more important than me?"

"Zaun needs a leader," Ekko replies, his voice broken but resolute. "And I need to be that leader. I can't be what you need, not now."

You stand there, feeling how the void between you grows larger, as Ekko turns and walks away, taking with him the last hope of what once was.

Silco

The rain hit the windows of Silco's office with force, the sound almost deafening as you leaned against the wall, breathing irregularly. You had been rescued again, once more on the brink of death, another attempt on your life, and once again, Silco was there to save you. But something in his gaze, cold, distant, made you fear the worst. You didn’t understand what was happening, but something had changed. Something in him.

“This is over,” he said after a long pause.

“What do you mean by that?” Your voice trembled.

Silco looked at you, his eyes filled with something you couldn’t read, something darker than the usual shadow he carried. He took a step toward you, but his presence was no longer comforting. His gaze remained fixed, as if he was deliberately pushing you away from him.

“It’s for the best,” his tone was low, almost hesitant, but the coldness in his words made you freeze. “I can't keep exposing you to this. You don't belong in this world. I can’t risk you anymore.”

“What are you saying?” Your words barely came out, drowned by the pain of his cold resolve. “Silco… you don’t have the right to decide for me. I choose to stay, I choose to remain here by your side.”

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head as he took another step back. “You don’t understand,” he said, his voice deeper than ever. “I don’t want to protect you anymore. You’re a burden, a burden I can’t carry any longer. I’m tired of you.”

The blow was like a stab to the chest. You couldn’t believe what you had just heard. “What? You’re tired of me?” Your words came out choked, unable to grasp the cruelty he had just expressed.

“The rumors are true,” he said with a harshness that froze the air between you both. “I’ve only seen you as a little distraction. A good pet. A weakness. Nothing more. I had fun, yes, but that’s over. I’ve found something better.”

“No… that can’t be…” you said, but when you saw the coldness in his eyes, something inside you shattered.

Silco didn’t respond immediately. His gaze remained fixed on you, and for a moment, everything felt like a lie. Then, with a cruel indifference, he said, “You were never my equal. You were just a pastime, something I could have for myself. Something no one else could have. But you're replaceable. We all are.”

“That’s not true,” you whispered, struggling against the knot in your throat. “How can you say that?”

“I’m getting tired of repeating myself. I don’t want you in my life anymore. You’re no longer useful to me, you only bring me problems,” his voice was now firm, unyielding. “So go. I don’t need any more weaknesses in my life.”

The words were like a sentence. Everything you had ever felt for him, everything you had believed you shared, crumbled in that moment. There was nothing left. With your heart shattered, you took a deep breath and, without another word, turned away.

As you walked toward the door, the echo of your footsteps filled the empty office. Silco watched you, but did nothing to stop you. There was nothing left to say.

When the door closed behind you, silence filled the room. Silco stood there, in the darkness, his fists clenched, the pain in his chest stronger than any wound he had ever suffered before. For the first time in years, a single tear ran down his face. But no one saw it. He was alone, and that was all he deserved.

Mel

Mel's bedroom was silent, illuminated only by the faint light of the early morning hours. The bed, still messy, bore witness to a night of passion, but also to something much deeper that had been growing between the two of you. The sheets, tangled together, seemed to reflect the tension that now filled the space. The room, which had once been a warm refuge, was now soaked in a thick, suffocating atmosphere.

You sat on the edge of the bed, watching how Mel lay with her back to you, her face hidden in the pillow, breathing irregularly, as if she were still searching for something she couldn’t find. It wasn’t physical exhaustion that was affecting her, but something much deeper.

"Mel..." you said, your voice low but filled with an anguish you couldn’t control. “What’s happening between us?”

She didn’t move at first, as if she hadn’t heard you, but the weight of your words finally reached her. She turned over, and when her eyes met yours, something in her gaze made you fear the worst. It wasn’t the look of the woman you loved. It was something much more distant, something you couldn’t understand.

"I'm sorry... I can't keep doing this," she said, her voice, though soft, tinged with a hardness you couldn’t ignore. "I can't keep dragging you into this."

"What do you mean?" you asked, unable to comprehend what she had just said. "I won’t let you push me away. I won’t allow it."

Mel sighed and sat up, her eyes reflecting an exhaustion that seemed to surpass the physical. "It’s not about that... I don’t want to keep exposing you to all of this," she said, pressing her lips together with a determination that hurt. "I’m putting you in danger. It’s not fair to you."

"I don’t care," you replied, moving closer to her, your words heavy with desperation. "I don’t care what happens. All I want is to be with you."

But Mel didn’t give in, and instead of softening, her expression hardened even more. "You don’t understand, do you? I... I’m not enough for you. I can’t be what you need. I can’t keep being this, being... who I am."

"And what are you, Mel?" you asked, pain clear in your voice. "Ambessa’s daughter? The woman who lives under her shadow, trying to be someone she’ll never be? You’re not just that. You’re not. You’re... you’re the woman I want, the woman I love. But you keep running from it."

Mel, hearing your words, took a step back, as if an invisible force had pushed her away. The look in her eyes was painful, as if your words had struck her to the core. "You don’t get it. You don’t know what it’s like to be Ambessa’s daughter," she said, her voice cracked with frustration. "You don’t know what it’s like to do everything for her, for her approval."

"No I don't," you replied, unable to hold back the heat of your own truth. "But what I know is what it’s like to try to be what others want. To try to please someone who’ll never see you for what you truly are. And still, you stay there, looking for something you can’t even define."

Mel fell silent, her face paling with each of your words, but you wouldn’t stop. Not after everything you’d tried. "I’m telling you, I don’t care what you do. I don’t care if you have to live under her shadow forever. I just want to be with you. But you... you can’t see that you’re losing what matters most. What you have left. What we could be."

"It’s just that I can’t... I can’t give it all up for you," she whispered, her gaze lost, almost disoriented. "I’m not enough for you. I can’t be."

"Why do you keep saying that?" you said, your voice breaking. "Why do you keep seeking her approval? You don’t have to be her perfect daughter, Mel. You have to be you. But you keep seeking her love, and you’ll never find it. It will never be enough for her. And as long as you stay there, you keep losing yourself."

She closed her eyes, as if your words pierced her, but she didn’t say anything more. The silence between you two became unbearable, and finally, Mel looked down, tears welling up in her eyes. "I’m telling you, I can’t keep going with you," she murmured, and this time it wasn’t a doubt, it was a statement.

You stayed there, frozen, unable to move a muscle. "What?" you whispered, unable to believe what she had just said.

"What I’m saying is that... I can’t keep being what you need. I can’t be happy like this. I can’t keep fighting for something I don’t have."

You couldn’t believe it, the words slipped from your mouth, but they didn’t find the right form to come out. "But, Mel, you don’t have to be what they want. You don’t have to live under her shadow. Why don’t you see it? I don’t want you for what you are to others, I want you for what you are to me."

Mel looked at you then, and for a moment, you thought everything could be resolved. But the look in her eyes wasn’t the same anymore. It was empty, sad, as if she had given up everything she once was. "I can’t stay here, I can’t keep doing this," she murmured, and with those words, she turned away, walking away from you.

Your heart shattered, but it wasn’t the pain that stopped you. It was the anguish of knowing that, despite everything you shared, she would never be able to leave that shadow, that need to please her mother.

And as she walked away, the words echoed in your mind over and over again: "I’ll never be enough. I’m not enough for her. I’m not enough for you."

Sevika

You find yourself with Sevika in her usual spot, where the world seems to stand still, surrounded by ruins and rubble. The atmosphere is thick with silence, but there's something in her eyes you can't ignore. There's tension in the air, as if a conflict is about to erupt.

"Sevika," you call, your heart racing. "We need to talk."

She turns toward you slowly, and her eyes seem colder than you've ever seen them. "I know," she replies, her voice deep and cutting. "I've been waiting for you."

You approach, but Sevika's gaze feels so distant, so detached from you. Something is wrong, and you know it. You can't stop the doubts from forming in your mind.

"Why have you been pulling away from me?" you ask, the knot in your throat growing tighter. "What's happening between us?"

Sevika crosses her arms, her posture more defiant than ever. "Don't you know? I told you, remember? I'm no good for you. I'm not what you need."

You furrow your brow, confused. "What are you talking about? I've never asked you to be anything else. I accept you as you are. I love you, Sevika."

She takes a step back, distancing herself from you, as if your closeness burns her. "That's what you don't understand. You think this is love, but what you're seeing isn't it. What you see in me is just an illusion. I'm just using you to get what I need: a little comfort, a distraction from the damn chaos of this city. But I don't want you to keep deceiving yourself. I'm not someone you can save, and I don't want you wasting your time with me."

Your words catch in your throat. "No... don't say that. I'm not deceiving myself, Sevika. I want to be by your side, through thick and thin. Why are you saying all of this?"

Sevika laughs, but it's not a laugh that gives you peace. It's cold, bitter, as if she's laughing at a cruel joke. "Because you're weak. And I don't want to drag you into this shitty world anymore. I don't want you to be another victim of what I am. And the worst part is, you don't even get it. You're a dreamer, an idealist, but there's no room for that here. There's no room for love in Zaun, there's only pain. And you won't be able to handle it."

"I don't want to leave you. I can't leave you," you respond, moving closer, but Sevika takes another step back, her face hardened by an internal battle. "I can't live with the thought of you pushing me away."

"Well, that's what's going to happen," she says, her voice so cold it echoes through the emptiness of the factory. "I'm leaving you because I can never be what you expect. I'll drag you into the darkness, I'll sink you even deeper than you already are. And that, that would ruin you. I have nothing left to offer you."

You're frozen, the pain piercing through your chest. "No... don't do this, Sevika. Please. Don't leave me alone."

"I left you the moment I accepted this damn world," Sevika says, and you can see a single tear silently roll down her face. "The only thing I offer you is more suffering, and that's the last thing I want for you. Forget me. And go, before I end up destroying you."

"No! I won't leave you!" you shout, but the desperation in your voice is futile. Sevika looks at you, but there's no warmth in her eyes anymore, only emptiness. "You're going to be happy without me. I'm not the person you need."

Before you can say anything else, Sevika turns around, walking toward the exit of the factory, leaving you alone in that dark, cold corner. The last image of her, her figure fading into the darkness, breaks you completely. You know that what she just told you isn't a lie, and that maybe, just maybe, she was right.

But what destroys you more is that you love her so much, and you can't bear the thought of losing her forever.

[burningembers91]

A Game of Cat and Mouse - The Salesman x Fem!Reader

Follow Up Piece to: Freak of Nature On Display

Synopsis: Tired of being followed by the man in the grey suit, you decide the turn the tables

Warnings: Stalking, voyeurism, mentions of masturbation, the Salesman being kind of a sub

He was following you again. The man in the grey suit with the brown leather briefcase that probably cost more than you earned in a month. You clocked him about 100 yards back, his reflection visible in a shop window. You didn’t know how long you’d been playing this game of cat and mouse for. Any normal person would have been terrified at the prospect of being stalked, but there was something about the man who followed you that you found undeniably attractive. The day after he’d paid for your coffee, he was back out on the park bench, watching you from afar. You pretended not to notice him, going about your work as if he wasn’t there. Some days however, he would sit with you, making idle conversation as you watched the world pass by. You knew he followed you home, and one night you saw him sitting outside the restaurant across from you apartment. He noticed you too and raised his glass of soju in acknowledgement.

What was it that drew him to you? You weren’t anything special, weren’t anyone important. You were just you. You led a mundane life, filled with days that were all pretty much the same. Perhaps that was why you liked your new stalker; he injected the excitement that was so desperately missing from your world. You knew nothing about him, not even his name, but you were sure he knew lots about you.

You weren’t far from your apartment now, only two more minutes and you be safely behind your door. But you were tired of being safe; you wanted to see your grey suited man again, wanted to hear his voice, wanted to watch the wild way his almond eyes explored your body. You ducked round a corner, backtracking through an alleyway that ran down the side of your apartment. You could see your grey suited man from behind now, an angle you’d never seen before. He looked good from behind, with perfect posture, and an ass that looked great in his suit. He stopped, noticing you were no longer in front of him. you couldn’t see his face, couldn’t see the confused expression that flitted across his perfect features. Sneaking up behind him, you waited until you were inches away from him before whispering into his ear. “I guess this time I’m the cat, and you’re the mouse.”

He swivelled around to meet you, his eyes blazing with an expression you couldn’t read. “You’re not the only one with tricks up your sleeve, Mr Grey Suit,” you smiled, watching his eyes widen as he took you in. No one had ever bested him before, but you’d managed to outsmart him today. “Clever girl,” he purred, “I enjoy our little game.” You’d left him speechless that day at the coffee house, and today was no exception. You were so much more than he ever could have dreamed of, so suited to his needs and desires that he wasn’t sure he could hold back much longer. He liked playing with your mind, but he longed to play with your body too. He wanted to feel you squirm against him, wanted to hear you moan for him as he figured out how far he could push you. “Will you be dining across the street tonight?” you asked, fiddling with the top button of your shirt. He shifted in his Prada loafers, a flash of hunger in his eyes. “Potentially,” he mused, “or perhaps I might find an alternative option to satisfy my tastes.” You both knew he was lying; he was far too hooked on you to get his kicks elsewhere. “Shame,” you pouted, knowing you had him right where you wanted him. “I was going to give you a little show. Maybe next time.” With that, you turned on your heel and left your grey-suited man standing dumbstruck in the street.

That night, he was in his usual spot outside the restaurant. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Your grey suited stalker was becoming predictable now. But, you’d promised him a show, and a show he would get. You nudged the curtain open just a touch, enough that he could see you from where he was sitting.

He watched you from across the street, saw you move the curtain and give him full view of your figure. You were wearing nothing but a tiny silk robe, the dusty mauve colour the perfect contrast against your skin. You unbelted the robe achingly slowly, and he could feel his erection pushing against the fabric of his pants. The robe fell to the floor, and you stood in a matching lingerie set, your fingers running up and down your body. You were teasing him, toying with him. He’d never been teased before, and he aching cock responded to you in a way he’d never felt before. he shifted in his seat, desperate to quell the rising sensation of unbearable lust. He watched you slip your bra strap down, watched as you slowly lowered the cup just enough to show him the faintest outline of your breast. He audibly groaned, downing his glass of soju to quieten his desire. If he knocked on the door, would you let him in? He’d never been at the mercy of someone before, always being the one who played with people. But you seemed to enjoy torturing him. As if reading his mind, you shook your head, your finger delicately tracing your nipple. No, you wouldn’t let him in tonight. But he’d need you soon, otherwise he might go insane.

That night he pleasured himself to the image of you in your apartment, the delicate lingerie so perfectly contouring your curves. He’d have you soon, there was no doubt about that. You were a tease, but he hadn’t fully shown you what he was capable of yet.

[cheshirewrites]

It's been years since you fought the dragon, years since you pierced it's crimson scaled and dug your blade into its heart. It was a quick death, and not the slow, painful kind that the King had demanded of you, and some might have even called it merciful.

You fought a lot of things, back then.

You've learned better now.

You left the King's service, citing a quest for your godly patron, and it's not quite a lie. Your patrol is a wild thing, a once scorned Goddess who adores the loyal, but not like most would expect. The Goddess prizes dedication to someone's own ideals, and well-

After what you learned, leaving is not a hard choice to make.

But your Goddess approved, her laughter curling in the back of your mind, and the King hadn't argued, or at the very least, he doesn't make any arguments that aren't easy for you to refute.

It wasn't easy, at first, transitioning from a busy knight to an aimless wanderer. There was no order or schedule to follow, just an endless road through the contry side and all of the towns built around it. And the people, of course, you know now that the people were what made it all worth it.

And now?

It's been years since you fought the dragon, years since you heard those ominous words. I will come back, the beast had said, you will not know what form I will take, or how long it will take, but you will see me again.

These days, you were less rash, slower to anger. The kind of person who asked questions first, and rarely ever raised a blade. You have a wife, a brilliant alchemist with dark curls and a cutting smile. Rose calls herself a cottage witch, and she laughs alongside the Goddess in your head, twin voices ringing with amusement, and you have never been more happy.

You have a son now, too, though, neither of you had expected it.

The boy introduces himself as Victor, standing outside your door with a crooked, toothy grin as he holds out his hand. Says that he'd heard they were the people to talk to, if you had a certain aptitude for magic, and well, here he is.

And indeed, here he is.

Victor, with his fever bright, golden eyes.

The you from years ago would have raised your sword in an instant, pushed Rose behind you and demanded some kind of response. It's what you were trained to do, after all, but you've learned better now.

So you smile, and shake the boy's hand. He's warm, you think, but don't say. "Welcome," you say instead, "why don't you come inside? Rose, my wife, is the one you should speak to."

To put it lightly, Victor and Rose get along like a house on fire.

Victor isn't necessarily quick to anger, but he knows exactly where to redirect his words, and Rose, witty as she is, knows exactly how to manage it. Knows how to redirect his sharp tongue into something calmer, whether it's muttering curses under his breath or bantering back and forth far too quickly for you to keep up.

He's good for her, too, you think, watching them experiment with magic. Rose has always wanted an apprentice, someone to pass her life's work onto and -- if they were interested -- try and create something new.

And gods, they create.

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

[just-a-ghost00]

Connection check in (part 1)

First of all, Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. May you be blessed. I hope that you are healthy and happy. This is potentiallt going to be a lengthy reading so bear with me. I will be using every single deck that I own. If you're interested, I will list out the names of all decks at the end of this post. Each group will have a picture of their spread. What I'm going to do is do a first section about your energy so that you can figure out whether you picked the group that's meant for you. And then I'll do another section about your person's energy.

Your current energy

A. B. C.

Their current energy

1 2 3

Energy check - Group A

As I'm channeling into your energy I feel a strong sense of exhaustion and a strong need to feel whole again. You're in a period of your life where you need your peace and space to heal from all the wrong that has been done to you and give yourself the love you had been giving to others. You are in a very feminine energy right now where you are prioritizing yourself and your inner peace. You are likely not dating anyone right now or if you are, the contact with the person is very minimal. You may be keeping people at arms length because you are tired of being disappointed and let down by others. You're guarding your heart strongly. There's a lot of heart chakra healing going on. You're also grounding yourself, learning to appreciate your own company. With all this green and blue in your spread I also feel a strong sense of peace. It's like you've accepted your fate. You're holding for your truth that maybe being single is part of your journey. Maybe that was something that scared you in the past but now you may be seeking that solitude. You are realizing that being alone will give you room to grow and expand, which you could not do while surrounded by the people you knew. In that quiet atmosphere, you may feel inspired to pick up a new hobby or to go back to something you used to do. You may be receiving more intuitive downloads. I see you walking away from conflicts that are not your business. Maybe in the past you used to get caught in people's arguments and had a hard time setting boundaries. It's like now you're claiming your power and saying "enough is enough", "this is not mine to bear", "I do not accept this as my truth". I feel like you are redefining your priorities and needs. That might be especially true regarding relationships. In terms of zodiac signs, I was picking up on Taurus and Leo. I also picked up on someone trying to work on their body image. Like, you realized that because you looked or appeared a certain way, you attracted a specific kind of people that did not match your expectations. And so you decide to work on that because you don't want to attract such people. I also feel like some of you are going through therapy, trying to change the way you perceive yourself. Like, growing up you were lead to believe that you were not beautiful or that you were not enough. And I see you working hard to break that cycle and learn to love yourself for who you are and that is the most beautiful act of love you could do for you. You can be proud of yourself <3 When it comes to the connection, I feel like you don't fully trust your person and may be feeling like they do not see or love you for who you are. You may be taking your distances with them, keeping to yourself. I don't feel like this is something you have openly discussed about with them.

Energy check - Group B

Looking at your spread, I get a very cheerful and vibrant energy. You feel quite optimistic and energized overall, but particularly, you have a lot of hope for this connection. You feel inspired and motivated by the person you're asking about. I'm getting more of a Piscean energy from this spread, as well as Taurus energy. Your solar plexus seems to be very active. This chakra is related to your sense of confidence as well as your drive, your will. I feel like though you may have doubts about this person or feel uncertain about your own feelings, your curiousity and attraction are taking the upper hand. You wish to explore this bond that you share and see where it leads because you have a lot of faith in yourself and in life. You're in a very balanced energy with a more pro active tendency. You are currently tapping into your masculine energy a bit more. You may be feeling all over the place and have a myriad of questions left unanswered about this person. But you chose to go with the flow and see for yourself where this leads, which is very brave and cool. I feel like this connection invites you to settle down a little and question your habits, your perception of life. Though it may be scary to some, it is actually thrilling to you. I feel like you are making an effort to see the glass half full and trust this person. There's a part of you that fears the other's opinion of you. You may be afraid of rejection. But rather than rolling up in a ball in your corner, you are taking an upfront approach by asking yourself : "What can I do to put the ball in my court?". I feel like you are consciously and purposefully gauging this person's reactions by interacting with them frequently. You're trying to put yourself out there and show yourself under your best light though it makes you uncomfortable. I see you being vulnerable with them, showing them sides of you that you may not show to others, trying to create intimacy and build that sense of mutual trust. I see you trying to understand this person more and become a version of yourself that would match their requirements a bit more. I feel like you're trying to find a common ground with this person by changing aspects of you that you don't mind modifying for the sake of this connection. Like maybe if you have struggled with addictions you are now doing your best to deal with them. If you used to party a lot and hang out with friends, maybe know you are trying to slow down a little and create more time and space for that person to be into your life. I feel like you are focused on trying to prove to this person that you are good for them by being unique in their eyes and standing out from the crowd.

Energy check - Group C

You're in a bit of a rebellious spirit. I get a "f**k this I'll do what I want" kind of vibe from this spread. With the combination of Obsidian, the page of pentacles, the Ask Body card as well as "treat yourself eat anything you want" & "What am I waiting for?", I got the feeling like you found out something about this connection that upset you or triggered you. Maybe your person has flirted with someone else or you heard that another person was interested in your crush. And that urged you to let your voice be heard. I heard "hear me roar". I recently went to see Disney's Mufasa to the theater and this spread really gives me Taka vibes. I will not dive further into this because I don't want to spoil anyone. But those who've seen it will understand. It's like you're saying "I'm done hiding away and being the second choice". If you're not dating, maybe you're feeling like it's now or never and you won't get the connection you want unless you actively manifest it. If you're dating this person, maybe you are thinking about uping your game, taking things further with them. I get a feeling of urgency, of "I've waited enough now it's time to take matters in my own hands". I get a very masculine energy from this spread. You may be spying on your person, trying to gather information about what they're into to make your move. Some of you may be trying to glow up, going to the gym, getting your hair cut, changing your wardrobe and such. Also, I get the feeling that maybe a lot of people around you are being nosy and trying to interfere in your connection and you're done with their attitude. You may be cutting ties with people. This may be very specific but I pick up on someone choosing to turn their life over and start anew and right when people of their past hear about it, they all decide to come back and try to discourage you or get things out of you. And you're like "for so many years you didn't even check up on me and now you know I'm doing good you want to hang out" kind of feeling. Or like maybe you've updated your status on your socials, showed a picture of the person you're interested in and suddenly everyone's trying to give their unsollicited advice or straigh on hit on your person. And you're like "hell no, this ain't gonna happen". I get a very defensive and fierce energy from you. In terms of zodiac signs, I'm picking up on Scorpio, Leo and Virgo.

Decks used : Crystals oracle, Threads of fate shadow edition, I don't care oracle deck, Soul truth oracle deck, Enchanted forest oracle cards, Beast Soul oracle cards, White Numen Tarot light edition, Spirit Junkie Oracle, Des potes en ciel Oracle

[faygosoda]

Angst w hyun-ju? Where reader gets attacked really badly during the special game and hyun-ju couldn't protect reader. Hyun-ju is like really worried because reader is like kinda on the verge of bleeding out and dying

A/N: Oh yeahh my first req!! I hope I did this justice n Im sorry if she comes off as ooc!!

Title: So Much Lost

“Fuck..” you mumbled, hand holding your side as you stumble into one of the beds, tears welling in your eyes.

Stupid games, stupid debt, stupid bob having druggie stabbing you with the fork..

You held back a groan as your knees became weak, left hand bracing yourself on the post of the bed.

You didn’t want to worry the others with this but considering the fact that you were on the verge of passing out and bleeding (which was such a lame way to go), you would have no choice but to tell someone..

Something just always had to go wrong in your life- family abandoning you, forcing their debt on you, a fuck ass love life, and more AND now you have a stab wound.

Great. At least I’m away from the others.. this would just cause more pani-

“(Name)?…. Holy shit-“

Fuckkkk, of course Dae-ho found you.. always the one to search and help those in need.

“Dae-ho listen don’t go and tell-”

“Like hell I won’t!” He runs off as you groan your left hand which wasn’t currently putting pressure on your side slapping your forehead.

Multiple rushed footsteps are heard from god knows where.

“(Name)!”

“Oh my goodness-”

“Everybody move out the way!”

Blah blah lots of talking lots of worry and concern from who knows who..

You didn’t really pay attention to who was saying what besides one voice that belong to the one person you had came to admire the most throughout the days of being here.

“Hyun- Hyun-Ju..”

It was a quiet mumble but able to be heard from her attentive ears.

“I am right here (Name), stay awake for me okay? Who did this to you?”

Her words were shakey along with her hands that came up to sit you up as.. Gi-Hun? Yeah, Gi-hun and some of the others rushed around to find stuff that could possibly help.

“That- uh.. that one guy with the bob who w- was with the purple h- haired dude..”

I groan out, glancing down at the red spot that progressively got bigger, soaking through the fabric of my tracksuits zip up and onto my hand.

“Son of a bitch..” Hyun-Ju mumbled, tears evident in her eyes.

“D- definitely..” I slur, head falling back as my eyes close before a hand comes to my chin, making my eyes re-open.

“No. Keep your eyes open and look at me. Do not go to sleep.” Her hand hold your chin, turning it her way and you can’t help but look at her adoringly, eyes half lidded and a strained smile on your face.

“I.. I can’t- it hurts so much- I’m- I’m sorry I should’ve listened to- to you..” A choked sob comes from you, tears slipping down your face.

“Stop it- (Name), stop don’t apologize please do not- I can’t lose you too!” Hyun-Ju’s words are rushed yet quiet.

‘I can’t lose you too!’ Oh right, Young-Mi.. shot dead after the third game. One of the many people Hyun-Ju has lost besides her family and well.. now you

Your hands move up to hold her cheek and her hand that held your chin as your vision blurred, colored shapes of those who you now considered your friends gathered around the bed you sat up on.

“Young-Mi’s right.. you’re beautiful. I’m sorry I didn’t say so earlier.. you make me nervous. Hyun-Ju, you- you have to make it out for- for me.. please Hyun-Ju.. Don’t let me hold you back.” You spoke quietly, eyes lidded to the point your lashes blocked view of the womans face that had tears falling down her cheeks.

Hyun-Ju nods, face leaning into your touch as she cries, shoulders shaking.

“I promise you I- I will (Name). For- for you.”

You smile, breath slowing down and a meek sound comes from your throat.

The last thing you hear are her sobs which continue to go on for who knows how long.

The only thing that riddles your mind is ‘what would have happened if we met under different circumstances?’

The end!

A/N: Hi guys thanks for reading that oneshot! I hope it was okay n I hope u liked it😇 I #hateangst cuz wdym that bob ho killed us I js wanna chill w my wife😢💔 SORRY THAT ITS SHORT, I WAS LWK BLANKING BUT FOR THE NEXT FF ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE IT LONGER!!

Btw pls send in my requests cuz this saved me from boredom💋

[puckinghischier]

What do you think Quinn would do for a grand gesture when he was missing his girl?

seeing as he’s a sentimental sort, considering the gift he gave luke, i know he’d do something so over the top in the best way.

he’d already have bought you every long distance gadget in existence. the bracelets that vibrate when you touch them to let the other person know you’re thinking of them. the smart fridge he can leave notes from his phone on for you to wake up to in the morning. the lamp that glows a certain color when the other person misses you. the iphone widget he can draw pictures of flowers on before the real thing is delivered to your door.

he’d make sure he had every opportunity to make sure you knew he was thinking about you, even when he’s busy and on the road. sometimes a message or a vibration from a bracelet is all he had time for, but it was enough for you.

for him? nothing could ever replace being in your presence. he needed to see you, touch you, hear your voice. this past season had been rough. being away from you for so long, he was miserable. he found himself being distracted by thoughts of when he could get back home to you during practice or while warming up for a game. he was rushing post game media so he could call you before you fell asleep. he was skipping team bonding to facetime you and catch up on your day.

so, he started putting a plan into motion. he hoped it wouldn’t scare you off or freak you out, but he was too deep into it now to back out.

you had noticed he’d been spending a lot of time on the phone with his agent lately, assuming it was some negotiation for a brand or sponsorship. you knew it couldn’t have anything to do with his spot on the canucks, both the team and quinn loving the other too much to part ways.

but he started acting weird. he started being jumpy when you’d ask him about his conversations with his agent, curious as to what’s taking up so much of his time lately.

“just contract stuff. you know, i have to renew it soon and there’s all kinds of stuff that goes into that. brad’s just trying to get me the best bang for my buck,” he’d nervously chuckle, changing the subject quickly.

you were cleaning up the kitchen one day after making lunch, quinn having had to go to the rink for some kind of business meeting, he told you. you hear the door open and his keys fall into the bowl on the dining room table, a soft call of your name ringing through the space.

he walks into the kitchen to find you finishing up the last few dishes, making small talk until you’re finished and join him over at the end of the long island.

“whatcha got there, q?” you question curiously, noticing how he hasn’t let go of the paper once since walking through the door.

“oh, this? well, we need to talk about it, actually.” his nervous tone makes you nervous, worried about what’s on the piece of official looking paper.

“okay…” you trail off, not enjoying the nervous energy engulfing the room.

he clears his throat, running his fingers along the edges of the paper repeatedly, forcing himself to keep looking you in the eyes.

“so, you know how i bought you all those things to let you know i’m thinking of you when i’m not on the road? the bracelet, the lamp, the new fridge, the flowers and notes?” he lists off all the heartfelt things he’s given you over the course of your relationship, a smile taking over your face as you nod at him.

the smile on your face gives him a bit more confidence, more sure of his decision than he was just a few moments ago.

“okay, well, i can’t do that anymore. those bracelets? the lamp? the messages on the fridge? they’re not enough. they’re not cutting it anymore.”

your heart sinks. what does he mean it’s not enough? if it’s enough for you, why isn’t it enough for him? he’s the one that’s gone all the time. you’re the one who has to stay here and wait for him to come back. is this paper a new lease? is he kicking you out? breaking up with you?

you take a step back from him, your head filling with all kinds of negative thoughts as to what’s on that paper in his hand.

“quinn, i-i don’t understand. what do you mean-“

“please, just let me finish. i need to get this out and then you can ask me all the questions you want. and yell at me, if you feel the need,” he interrupts you, putting a hand up in between the two of you.

your mouth snaps shut, tears threatening to spill any second.

“like i said, the superficial stuff just isn’t enough anymore. if i can’t have you with me all the time, i don’t know if i can keep doing this. all of this. it’s killing me. i know it’s my fault i’m gone, but my god i miss you so much it hurts me,” he continues his speech, not picking up on the shake in your hands.

“quinn, you don’t have to do this. we can…figure something else out. i miss you too when you’re gone. so much,” your shaky voice tries to reason with him, not wanting to hear him say the words out loud.

he holds a hand up to silence you, effectively stopping your words.

“my mind’s already made up. already signed my name and everything, even if brad did think i was crazy,” quinn keeps going, confusing you even more.

what did his agent have to do with him breaking up with you and kicking you off of the lease you just signed together?

you don’t have time to ask him, because he lays the paper in front of you, sliding it towards you. “here, just read it for yourself.”

you pick up the thick paper, noting the canucks emblem stamped into the top of the document, your eyes falling to the long paragraphs taking up the majority of the page.

there’s one section that’s highlighted, marked to stand out specifically for your eyes.

“the canucks organization, in agreement with quintin j. hughes, hereby provides transportation, accommodations, and admission to 10 (ten) away games of his choice during regular season hockey, and every meeting of post-season playoffs if necessary, to one person of his choice, contingent of his reporting to canucks sponsored activities such as: games, practice, training camps….”

it takes your brain a few moments to catch up to what you’re reading.

he…rewrote his contract for you. he, somehow, convinced an entire organization to write into his contract a clause to be able to take you with him to games during the season. you look up at him, his nervous stare meeting your eyes.

you start laughing.

quinn was nervous for a lot of things. he was worried you’d freak out and say he was crazy for this. he was worried you’d be mad at him and tell him you didn’t want to go on road trips with him. he didn’t know if you’d cry or jump with joy or walk out on him.

but he never expected you to laugh at him.

you can’t control your laughter. you try, but it just keeps coming, every attempt at containing it only making you laugh harder.

“i don’t understand. what’s so funny here?” quinn manages the courage to ask, voice shaky and embarrassed.

you manage to calm your fit enough to gain a fraction of decorum back, taking a few deep breaths before responding.

“quinn, i thought you were breaking up with me.”

quinn’s eyes widen, not expecting the words out of your mouth at all.

“no, i- why would you think that?” he rushes out, walking towards you.

you wipe the tears from your eyes, trying to calm yourself even further.

“well, i don’t know. the way you worded it had me convinced you were bringing me a new lease you’d signed without my name on it or something. thought you were kicking me out,” you chuckle only slightly at the end of your explanation.

quinn grabs your face in his calloused hands, gently forcing you to look at him.

“i hope you know, i would never break up with you. not by kicking you out of the apartment, much less. if anything you’d be the one kicking me out.”

“well i sure hope not. according to your contract, we have eight more years of roadies in our future. think those accommodations would be real awkward if you kicked me out. wonder if petey would let me bunk with him?”

[airybcby]

HIYAA i really wanted to send a request for your more than married event 😛 can i request Karasu and 🍑🍦thank you xx

HEYYY!! ofc !

a karasu tabito peachy ice cream :)

જ⁀♡⊹｡° you can hear it in the silence

♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event!

♡ content — karasu tabito x gn! reader, gn! reader, best friends to lovers, nickname like 'babe' used (once), they are the silliest billies, flirting, oblivious friends to lovers

♡ synopsis — karasu tobito had always just been your best friend, but could this program change that?

When you stepped into the apartment for the marriage simulation, the last person you expected to see lounging on the couch was Karasu Tabito.

He looked up from his phone, his signature smirk appearing the moment he saw you. “Well, well, well. Look who’s my lucky partner.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Tabito? You’re in this program?”

“Surprised?” he teased, leaning back like he owned the place. “What can I say? I thought I’d add ‘model husband’ to my list of talents.”

You rolled your eyes, setting your bag down. “Yeah, that’s a real stretch.”

He laughed, the sound warm and familiar. It was so him—effortlessly charming, with just a hint of mischief.

You and Karasu had been friends for years, ever since middle school. He was the kind of person who lit up every room he walked into, his confidence and humor making him impossible to ignore.

But while most people saw only his cocky, carefree exterior, you knew there was more to him than that. You’d seen him at his lowest, too—nursing injuries, doubting himself, pushing harder than anyone else to chase his dream.

And now, here you were, thrown into a “marriage” with him.

“What are the odds?” he said, still grinning as you unpacked.

“Apparently higher than I thought,” you muttered, trying not to think too hard about how small the apartment was—or how close you’d be to him for the next few weeks.

At first, it wasn’t much different from hanging out as friends.

Karasu made it easy, cracking jokes and treating the whole thing like some elaborate prank. “You know,” he said one evening while you cooked dinner, “we could totally mess with the other couples. Pretend we’re, like, madly in love or something. Really sell it.”

You snorted. “You think you can pull that off?”

He gasped, clutching his chest like you’d wounded him. “I’m offended. I’m very convincing.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Prove it.”

Without missing a beat, he turned to you, his expression shifting into something softer, more serious. “Babe,” he said, his voice low and intimate. “You’re the only one for me.”

You froze, heat rushing to your face. “Okay, stop,” you said, shoving him lightly.

He laughed, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place.

As the days went on, the lines between “pretend” and “real” started to blur.

It was in the little things—how he always made sure your coffee was exactly how you liked it, or how he stayed up late to help you with the program’s assignments, even when he didn’t have to.

And then there were the moments you couldn’t ignore, like the way his gaze lingered on you just a little too long, or how his teasing felt less like a joke and more like a test.

You tried to brush it off. After all, this was Karasu. He flirted with everyone.

But then one night, everything changed.

It was late, and the two of you were sitting on the couch, the glow of the TV casting soft shadows across the room.

“I’m glad it’s you,” he said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

You turned to him, confused. “What?”

He shrugged, not meeting your eyes. “This whole thing. I’m glad it’s with you.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Tabito…”

“I’m serious,” he said, his voice quieter than usual. “I know I act like an idiot sometimes, but…you mean a lot to me. More than I probably let on.”

You stared at him, your chest tightening. “Why are you telling me this now?”

He laughed softly, running a hand through his hair. “Because I’m tired of pretending it’s not true. And because I’m an idiot who doesn’t want to lose his best friend without at least trying.”

“Trying what?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He finally looked at you, his dark eyes filled with something raw and unguarded. “This. Us. Whatever this could be.”

You kissed him first.

It wasn’t planned, and it definitely wasn’t part of the simulation. But the moment your lips met, everything else faded away—the program, the rules, the fear of ruining your friendship.

It was just you in this moment, save for the little point total displayed in your living room going up by 10 points.

For the first time, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, this could work.

The program ended a week later, and you both stood outside the apartment, staring at the door as if crossing that threshold would change everything.

“So,” he said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “What now?”

You smiled, your heart swelling with hope. “Now we figure it out.”

He grinned, his usual confidence returning. “Good. Because I’m not letting you get rid of me that easily.”

You laughed, feeling lighter than you had in weeks.

Whatever came next, you knew you’d face it together.

GOD I LOVE HIM

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[crimsoncandy04]

If you haven't made a part 2 of Scaramouche's pre remembering where he was back to Kabukimono, please make one I'm begging 🙏 Thank you

You stand by a small pond somewhere in Sumeru, it's hot outside and as you cautiously remove your shoes and prepare to at least submerge your feet for the time being in the cool waters, you suddenly feel someone tap on your shoulder.

You turn around and are face to face with Kabukimono. Or...? He had a familiar dead look in his eyes...was this?

"So you actually were attracted to me when I was that ignorant? " He asked in his old expected flat tone that you were used to. Crossing his arms as he looked you over.

"it's not like it was a different person. Besides even if your personality was off, I was still just spending time with someone I care about." You turn back around to grab your shoes from where you tossed them, Scaramouche catches you off guard and suddenly wraps his arms around your waist. Pulling you against him as you gasp, feeling his hand move down quickly to cup your clothed mound underneath your skirt. His fingers traced your slit through your panties, his cool breath against your ear sending shivers down your spine as you whimpered.

"oh I'm sure we did spend quite a lot of time together. In fact I remember our most recent encounter lasting at least an hour, maybe more." Scara squeezes the softness of your breasts with his other hand, his forefinger and thumb pinching one of your tender nipples as he gives you a gentle kiss on the neck.

"and? Maybe I didn't mind. Maybe I liked being with you in that mindset. You were rather... attentive." You admit reluctantly as you suddenly feel him slide past your underwear and plunge two fingers deep into your cunt. Wiggling them around and teasing you before immediately going to rub against your sweet spot almost roughly. You can't help but moan softly as you take the sudden intrusion easily. Just like he had always trained you to do before in the past.

"so that was it huh? You wanted attention." He murmured as he continued to casually bring you to orgasm with his fingers as if it were nothing.

"as annoying as these attention seeking tendencies of yours are, I'm glad that at least you were smart enough to seek me out even considering my...state." he let you ride his palm as you began to rock your hips a little. A small reward on his part you supposed. Usually he got upset if you tried to make yourself finish without his permission.

"of course I would find you! I wouldn't ever let-ah! I wouldn't ever let someone else touch me like this!" You whined pitifully as you struggled to stay upright now.

You leaned back against Scaramouche as you felt your insides flutter. He chuckled lightly as he felt your warmth suddenly coat his hand.

He brings his fingers to your mouth then.

"don't make me ask. You know what to do." His usual authoritative tone gave you butterflies as you obediently began to lick and suck your own pussy juices off of his fingers.

You could feel how hard he was from behind as you did too.

You knew what would come next.

And sure enough, slowly Scara began to tug at your skirt. His fingers sliding into the waistband and pulling the clothing article down past your thighs and quickly to your ankles. You step out of the fabric and watch as he tosses it aside. Getting back to his feet and giving you a look you immediately recognized. You turned around and slowly began to remove your soaking wet panties next.

Scaramouche was someone who definitely had an eye for beautiful things. He often enjoyed it when you gave him a little show and knowing this, you wiggled your hips a little as you slid your underwear to your knees. Lifting your ass up for his viewing as you finally made yourself completely vulnerable from the waist down. Slowly you turn your head to look at him as you remain in your bent over position.

He eyed your glistening sex with a dark sort of hunger in his indigo eyes.

"you learn well. I always did like that about you. It seems even after being unnecessarily spoiled by a former version of myself, you know your true place still." He rasps as you suddenly feel him slap his hand across your ass cheek rather hard. Making you only get wetter for him. He does it again.

"I should reward you for your loyalty. You had the opportunity to run off and easily never see me again, yet you sought me out." He began to untie his belt and undo the layers of his own clothing as he gave your ass another spank.

"but I've had a rather rough past twenty four hours. And I need to relieve myself a little." He frees his cock from his shorts as they fall to the ground. Scara rubs his soft pink tip against your wet slit as he grabs your hips and holds you in place. He notices as you flinch a little at his words.

"heh, you never did like when I used you for stress relief. But I'm afraid that this time it's necessary." He pushes past your folds and into your pussy. You let out a breathy and shaky sigh, making yourself get used to him quickly as he immediately begins to thrust.

"you still take my cock so well you know? It almost makes me feel a little bad for what I'm about to do." He suddenly begins to move faster. You keep your palms firmly planted against the grass beneath you as scara fucks you deep. Making your entire body shake with pleasure as you hear him groan and comment in a sultry tone about how tight you are still.

It's then that you feel him let go of one of your hips and instead grab a fistful of your long hair. You wince as you feel your scalp being yanked on but that's nothing compared to what happens next. Scara begins to thrust faster than he practically ever had before. Harder too. You want to both scream and moan as you struggle not to lose your balance.

"S-Scara please! too fast!" You mewl sweetly and breathily. Barely able to form full sentences as your g spot was assaulted relentlessly and almost brutally. You felt your body being forced into another orgasm quickly.

He slaps your ass HARD.

"don't call me that." He commands.

Not this again.

"well what the hell-ah!"

"watch your tone slut." He slapped your ass painfully yet again. You knew it was gonna hurt to sit later if he kept this up. So you chose to play nice.

"Sorry... please forgive me!" He slams his dick so deeply into you that you swear he actually fucked into your womb for a second at your plea.

"that's more like it. Now since you asked nicely, you shall call me Wanderer from now on. Understand?" He yanks your head back by your hair. Forcing you to arch uncomfortably and make eye contact with him as he continues to fuck you mercilessly.

"yes Wanderer, I understand. "

"good girl."

He continues to use your cunt to get himself off after that. You feel your pussy squeezing his thick length and squirting now and then yet Wanderer doesn't slow down or stop until he's finished deep inside of you at least 7 times. By then, you're a teary and sweaty mess and he finally seems to remember your fragile nature as a mortal. Finishing in you one last time before finally pulling out of your used cunt with a loud *POP* as he supports your entire body with one arm wrapped around your middle.

You tremble as you feel him pull you against him again and this time into his lap as he collapses to the ground in a sitting position.

Wanderer uses his knees to pull yours apart again as he quickly finds your clit. He plays with it rather gently, almost like he did before as Kabukimono.

"you did well. As usual. Perhaps I should give you something in return hmm?" Your head rolls to the side a little as you prepare to let him continue to do whatever he has planned next but for some reason, once he sees your unenthusiasm, Wanderer suddenly stops. Removing his hand completely before tearing off a small part of his cape and using it to... clean the area between your legs.

You were stunned.

Why was he being so nice? Scara never cared before if you were tired what happened to him?

He seemed to almost read your mind.

"don't think about it too much. I've just come to the realization lately that not taking your fragile vessel into consideration during our... encounters may cause your body to experience damage and exhaustion over time. I want to keep you around for a while, so I'm going to make sure that you are in the right condition to leave from now on after we meet." He gets up and goes over to the waters edge close by and cleans the piece of blue fabric before returning and helping you clean up a little more. After that he orders you to drink some water too and sit for a bit before heading off.

He stays with you this time too. Watching you almost protectively as you catch your breath and lay against a tree not too far away from him.

This man was different.

He wasn't Kabukimono.

But he also wasn't Scaramouche.

If anything he seemed to be a mix of both.

You liked Wanderer.

Even if you weren't used to him yet.

And you honestly didn't want there to be a next meetup.

You wanted to stay with him forever.

And for some reason you had a feeling that he wanted the same this time.

[utilitycaster]

One of your recent posts talked about the way BH have essentially "run out of plot" in following the Red Moon/Predathos plot and the way that the PCS are being played.

I was also curious about your thought on the interparty dynamics in the end game, particularly with recent developments. One of the issues I've had with Bell's Hells for a while now is the way they don't challenge each other (or at least not in the way previous parties have)

Yeah; they don't. And honestly I think this is a combination of just...luck of the draw of the characters they created combined with that lack of room for those characters to develop because they've been in an environment that hasn't allowed much time and space for anything but rushing to the next task. Like, as mentioned, a lot of characters are kind of here to hang out or have goals that aren't specifically tied to personal change, if they have specific goals at all. That's not a bad thing! Grog, Jester, and Fearne all share that quality and are all fantastic executions of it - and Grog and Jester do change quite a bit despite that because the story gives them many opportunities to do so, and yes, because their fellow party members challenge them. But it feels like the bulk of Bells Hells if not all of it is kind of in that boat.

I remember an early panel in which Marisha said "I don't want to think anymore" and I know Travis has mentioned something similar for Chetney, of wanting to play someone much more chaotic after playing someone so highly controlled as Fjord. Liam also talked about stepping back from being a major decision maker at some point, and built Orym to be someone who had a viewpoint but didn't specifically assert it (as we've just seen). Like, I think most resentment C3 fans have towards C2 is just jealousy and bitterness but perhaps a fairer grievance is that the cast really brought their A-Game to the Mighty Nein with a lot of incredibly complicated, driven, messy characters and due to the smaller nature of the company then combined with the scaled back production of the pandemic focused intently on them; and then nearly all of them made a bunch of fairly go-with-the-flow or chaotic characters as a breather and (not unfairly or unreasonably!) thought they'd be in a story that would give them space to become something else or that would suit them, and it didn't. As someone who likes actual play I think if nothing else this serves as a look into how fantastic overall cast chemistry doesn't translate into compelling party dynamics.

To be clear, I think Bells Hells like and care about each other, but none are really the type to both strive to be better and challenge those around them to be as well. Even their defenders in the fandom are kind of leaning on the party of NPCs line from very early on [which is funny because a lot of people HATED that line at the time; I got hate over thinking it was apt] but the thing is yeah at this point in the campaign, they shouldn't still feel like a party of NPCs. Perhaps this is a personal preference, which, to be clear, does not in any way invalidate it as criticism, but as someone with a bit of a comics background, I've never been terribly into "Suicide Squad"-esque stories but I am into stories of Person Who Has An Opportunity And Rises To The Occasion Despite Not Being The Best Choice On Paper. Ultimately, my issue isn't that Bells Hells come from humble backgrounds and tragedy (this is also...not untrue for the Mighty Nein, incidentally; in fact they had even less endorsement from powerful groups. Molly died 26 episodes in and he just stayed fucking dead because no one had Keyleth's phone number so this is another case of "your defense just makes me think the Mighty Nein achieve this in a far superior manner"); my issue is that, as Laudna put it, they kind of just walk through doors because they're in front of them. I don't need them to become classically heroic; but I do need them to have some sort of intention. And they don't. Why are you walking through doors? "Because they're there" doesn't cut it. You're here because the Exandrian Accord gave you a whole bunch of support so don't play that "i'm just a nobody with nothing" shit anymore, it's demonstrably untrue.

I had this in the tags originally and I decided, perhaps unwisely, to move it into this post because I think it's relevant, but: in case it's not apparent, I think "You! Are! Valid!" culture is fucking awful; this is what that weirdo who thinks I'm from Reddit is mad at, I think (honestly I'm not sure if they're angry, they might just be very unwell). Like, it has roots in something true and helpful; you are valid for things like your race, gender, sexuality, ability/disability, and things that have happened to you in the past. But actually no one is automatically valid for their actions. Being incurious or inconsiderate or incapable of taking constructive criticism, even if this is tied to your past? not valid. Your trauma and pain is valid; what you do in their name very much might not be. And I think a lot of people who love Bells Hells do not like this message (which, Bells Hells don't like this message, hence the repeated "whatever you do is fine" conversations) and kind of romanticize a "NO ONE IS ON OUR SIDE WE MUST DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR US THERE'S NO GOOD ANSWERS" state in which one cannot be held responsible for action nor inaction and that's a lot of why they respond so dramatically to the increasing sense within the fandom that this party lacks the juice and does judge them for inaction. Like, I've been talking about character agency and how a lot of people's enjoyment of Bells Hells hinges on how they HAD NO CHOICES and I think we're seeing the fallout, which is that a TTRPG story (ie, a medium defined more so than anything else about player choices) about characters who were stripped of choice kinda sucks ass, and anyone who doesn't look to actual play D&D to valid their personal morality (which, in this case, usually is "the world is unfair so I can do whatever I want" anyway) would rather see a story about a character who fucking had a viewpoint and did things with it, even if it were a "bad" viewpoint. I know I'm hard on villain stans because a lot of them are actually people who are like "what if the VILLAIN were the HERO...I am very intelligent," but actually, this is the crux of why Darth Vader was very popular. It's not because people thought he was a good person; it's because he drove the story more so than the heroes much of the time, and people responded to that. Purely reactive characters are boring and to get back to your original point do not challenge each other unless someone else starts the reaction chain, and there just haven't been too many opportunities of the external nor internal variety to do it. It's mostly bad luck and again, a session zero could have fixed this, but it is what it is.

[grandline-fics]

Hi, I‘m new to all of this and not entirely sure about whom all you write, but may I ask for the „reunion kiss“ with X Drake and whoever else you want?

DESCRIPTION: Prompt: Reunion Kiss

WARNINGS: none

CHARACTERS: X Drake, Benn Beckman

WORDS: 1,332

A/N: Thank you for the request! This is my first time writing for X Drake and Benn Beckman so I hope this is to everyone's writing. I decided to add Benn to this prompt since he's been someone a lot of people have mentioned in the past of wanting to see.

*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*

DIRECTORY | PROMPT LIST

———————

X DRAKE

It wasn't often that Drake could venture to familiar waters for anything outside of maintaining his pirate facade while also conducting his actual missions as SWORD’s Captain. Between the double life filled with his life being threatened on both sides, rival pirates and motivated Marines, chasing his bounty Drake sometimes felt like he was never at peace and was constantly waiting for the next attack to come. There was one place he could truly breathe easy, and as the island slowly came into view Drake could already feel some of the tension in his body release. It wouldn’t be long now. 

He was strict in his duties and had no hesitations in the life he led, knowing that he was doing the right thing in the long run. Drake wouldn’t lie, it was hard at times by being so far away from you and for so long. He called you when he could and only when he knew no-one was listening but he refused to call you as often as he would have liked. Even with the assurances that the channel was secure he still couldn’t justify it. He didn’t want to risk it, not when all it would take would be one slip up. No, to keep you as safe as possible he had to be strong and only called you in emergencies or once every few weeks in-between getting to see you in person. 

From leaving the ship to walking through the quiet, sleeping village as the sun was slowly beginning to rise behind him Drake’s steps were purposeful and only increased the more your home came into view. A small smile tugged at his lips and he pulled out his own copy of of the key and unlocked the front door, taking a step inside. Drake’s plan had been to be quiet so he didn’t wake you but he froze in place when the door shut behind him and the cold edge of steel was laid against his throat in a clear warning to make no further movements. “You made a mistake coming here pirate…”

“Hello to you too.” Drake greeted smoothly, following the length of the blade until his gaze settled on your face. A small but warm smile began to grow when he took in your playful stare and soft smile. Had you really wanted to attack he wouldn't have made it within a foot of your house. To have let him enter first before surprising him meant you knew for certain he’d be arriving. Lightly he raised his hand to casually push the sword away from his neck so he could turn towards you. “So who blabbed that I was coming?”

“Who do you think?” You asked, lowering your sword to return it to his sheath and let it settle against the wall. Drake could only slowly shake his head in amusement, knowing it was without a doubt Koby that gave you some sort of heads up he’d be coming home. Now no longer distracted by your less than conventional greeting it finally dawned on him that he was home and you were so close but no close enough for his liking. Reaching out Drake’s arms encircled you and pulled you close. Wasting no more time, Drake pressed his lips against yours relishing in the soft and slow response that came instantly. 

Your arms wrapped around the back of Drake’s neck and you deepened the kiss, both of you using this moment to pour out your love for the other in a way that words wouldn’t be able fully convey. You pulled back and lightly cupped Drake’s face, unable to stop the smile now permanently on your face. Until he had to go again you were both going to savour every moment until you had to say goodbye again. 

BECKMAN

If Beckman was excited to be docking at the familiar island in Shanks’ territory, he wasn’t outwardly showing it. Shanks only watched his second-in-command with a knowing smirk as Beck sat at the table on the deck of the Red Force, completely relaxed and doing routine maintenance on his rifle. As always the first mate just went with the flow of Shanks’ whims and decisions whether they were completely planned out or just thought of in a spur of the moment strike of inspiration. His current decision though he would have at least thought Benn would have made some sort of comment about or cast a glance at the waters to check how far away they were. Shanks smirked and sat back in his own seat, knowing he couldn't be laidback or cool, calm, and collected forever. 

“So who’s staying on board tonight?” Hongo asked casually as the island drew closer. The ship’s doctor cast a suspicious glance at Benn who still remained relaxed, leaning by the railing and smoking idly. Everyone on board was all but itching to tease the first mate but he infuriatingly wasn’t giving them anything to go on yet. Benn however failed to see why they were acting like this, every single time they did this and every single time he didn’t change. He shifted his stance and held back his smirk when everyone on board sharpened their gaze on him, only to deflate when he simply blew out a small stream of smoke. Finally Shanks spoke up, knowing no one on board wanted to miss the fun. “We’ll be fine. So let’s all enjoy tonight, yeah?”

The welcome to the island town was as loud and warm as expected being one of Shanks’ oldest islands under his protection. Benn smiled politely to the civilians calling out greetings and walked with Shanks to the crew’s favourite bar in need of a place to unwind and recuperate from the long journey. Benn felt Shanks clap his shoulder, his excitement palpable and he glanced to see the red haired man grinning at him. “Looking forward to it?”

“Looking forward to getting a drink.” Benn answered, his lips twitching in an amused smile when Shanks scowled at him.

“We had drinks on the ship. If that’s all you wanted then you could have stayed there or not bothered stopping on the island in the first place.”

“Well we can go back if you want Captain, you’re in charge.”

“What? No way!” Shanks dismissed dramatically. “Honestly, you’re so ungrateful. Anyone else would be racing to the bar if they knew someone like that was going to be there.”

The doors to the bar swung open and the patrons shouted out a chorus of greetings and cheers at the arrival of the Red Haired Pirates, their drinks raised in the air in a toast to their protectors. Benn’s eyes went straight to the bar and a lazy smirk appeared when you came into view. There you were sitting on a barstool, arm lazily draped behind you to rest on the bar and a drink in hand while meeting his stare evenly. You bit back the urge to laugh as Shanks managed to get to you first, his arm falling over your shoulder as he leant in to kiss your cheek in greeting just to mess with Beckman. 

Swiftly you intercepted his playful advance by letting his lips connect with your mug of beer that he took with no further prompting. At the same time Benn’s arms were on you, pulling you from Shanks’ touch and into his own. One arm wrapped around your waist and the other supported your back as he twisted you into a slight dip. Grinning you accepted his kiss with equal eager intensity, both of you ignoring the whooping and whistles of his crew. Breaking apart you playfully smiled while Benn rolled his eyes at the crew’s antics. “You love them really.”

“No, I tolerate them.” Benn corrected lightly, pressing another kiss against your cheek as he straightened you but kept you securely in his arms. “But I love you a whole lot more to endure their teasing.”

——————————————-

TAG LIST (If I’ve missed anyone or if you want to be added just let me know) @3v37773, @tsaaps , @i-am-all-love-puns-and-lazy , @sanemisnonexistenteyebrow , @fiery-captain-spider-santa, @kabloswrld , @atanukileaf , @ane5e , @stuckinthewrongworld , @deathsmajestysworld , @cloudysunset04 , @chillerkiller , @extremely-ashtridic , @decayingpizza , @liesatemyocean , @ace-for-ace , @nerium-lil , @destynelseclipsa , @dreamcastgirl99 , @my-name-is-heartache , @iamn1ya ,  @yunho-leeknow , @hinata7346 , @h0oouwlss , @missrandomdreamer , @sleepykittycx , @ddawn111 , @jaygrl22 , @sylum , @acehyacinth , @resident-cryptid , @treelogirl , @maellem , @its-a-dam-blue-brick , @thulhu , @appalost

[zz0mbi3]

ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪꜰᴜʟ

summary: joel miller headcanons

warnings: slight allusions to spicy stuff, nothing too graphic. ellie's a menace

~now, i'm going to get this out of the way because i know what you fiends came here for

~yes, there's an age gap. nothing too crazy, of course

~definitely grumpy and sunshine vibes, even if you're a grumpy mess too. nothing tops him (especially not in be-)

~he definitely was reluctant at the start when getting to know you. we all know how "amazing" he is as helping others...

tommy: they got a kid, joel-

joel: so do we, keep driving - the incident in question

~nevertheless, and despite what he tries to say, you've grown on him. and maybe the fact that ellie says that you're the coolest person she's met since joel? yeah, he kinda can't get rid of you now

~somehow he has amazing self control with himself

~like there were definitely many times the man was crashing out and was about to do something drastic with you when he had to reign it in and actually think about it

~insanely jealous individual. luckily for him, not too many people to meet nowadays, but whenever you do engage in conversation with someone else, he's right there. ellie has caught him staring at you having a conversation with someone else, eye twitching

~whenever y'all have to squeeze through a small space because i'm sure there are many of those when trying to get away from the clickers, somehow his hands end up on you. not in a sexual way or anything, you just look down at some point and he is GRIPPING your waist to make sure you actually get out of that situation safely

~afterwards, the man has to sit down and just think for a minute. imagine it, just him sitting, hands raised to his chin as he ponders it all

~Mr. Darcy hand flex, think about it now

~if you happen to start walking a little further than he feels comfortable with you going, you're gonna feel one of his fingers curling through the belt loop of your jeans and tugging you back

"nuh, uh, stay here."

~you also have some self control in you, making sure not to be too affectionate right out the gate. you know he has a lot of unresolved trauma to go through (who doesn't in the literal apocalypse) and you don't want to push him to do something he isn't comfortable with or ready for

~there are many times y'all argue, his temper is on a short yet neverending fuse that seems to go out and reflame often. oftentimes he waits for ellie to leave before discussing things with you, and if it gets heated, oh boy

~sometimes, he doesn't think straight and in the middle of arguing you feel his calloused hand wrap around your wrist. not too hard, he doesn't want to hurt you, even if you piss him off sometimes, but enough to know "oh...he's serious".

~although, 99.9% of the time you have to stare at the floor for about 25 seconds to think about it. "oh, so what were we even fighting about?" that kinda stuff

~although he doesn't always show it directly, you can always tell that he cares. like, he's not typically one to look at you in the face and go "i need you to stay safe or else i'm gonna lose it", but somehow you just know.

~there will be days you wake up with an extra sleeping mat stuffed under your head or another warm coat and jacket draped over you that you definitely did not fall asleep with. other times you've gotten back from outside to find a warm drink sitting out for you. (does it taste good? yeah, yk what hell yeah).

~there's definitely been times where your boots have come untied so often while you're walking that before you can even process what's happening, he's retying them, mumbling under his breath about how "it's not that hard to double knot", but you can tell he isn't really mad when he pats your calf afterwards and stands back up

~he always refills your water and food when your rations get low. like you look away from your bottle for one second and he's refilling it with his own water (y'all fought about this for a while)

~surprise you have a teenage daughter now!

~ellie's a menace with you guys, oh my goodness. but at first, she didn't really like you very much. it was nothing against you, but she didn't like that someone else was joining her and joel's life, so it took some warming up to for her to understand that you being there was helping her and joel, and she actually missed your company when you would be away.

~she will follow you guys everywhere with the smuggest look on her face like she did something. always trying to do something stupid so you both end up having to help her and work together. she's also definitely stolen stuff from you guys so you guys have to share

~whenever you have nightmares, it's like he can sense it. and let's be honest, you definitely do have them because those clickers would have me passed out on the ground, dead, deceased. you guys don't get to sleep comfortably often (if at all) so when you're just laying on the ground in a sleeping bag, it's much easier to hear you tossing and turning. he'll wake up almost immediately and watch for a second to make sure it's not just you shifting around before he approaches you. there's a bit of hesitation, but when he sees how you're genuinely struggling, you're gonna end up sleeping against his chest, oh yes you will. he'll definitely wake you up to talk to you about it, and if you aren't willing to share, he's fine with just sitting there and comforting you.

~"i know, i know", when he's comforting you (or talking you through-)

~now when you guys ACTUALLY got together, it was kinda out of nowhere

~it was getting pretty overwhelming for you to keep it hidden (and ellie had been in both of y'alls ears, basically pushing you two closer and closer). so one day, you find yourself sitting with him and you just start rambling

"look, i know i'm young and everything...and i know you don't see me the way that i see you...and it's silly to think that you would or anything, but-"

you're cut off by the look he's giving you, just of pure and utter confusion. he stares for what feels like forever, until he says in a low voice;

"who told you that?" OHHHH MYYYYY

and before you could even get a chance to really respond to the question, BOOM, you're getting kissed

~yeah, when ellie found out she was over the moon, because she thinks she's a genius or something and a wizard and made it all happen (definitely helped)

~now, remember when i said he was jealous? yeah, that gets almost 100x worse when you guys confirm an actual relationship. if looks could kill, everyone would be dead, i swear

~(just letting y'all know, joel does bite. a lot. do with that information what you will)

~he gets pretty pissed off when people say he's too old for you (he's literally not, the age gap ain't that bad guys) and has shouted at someone about it before! (will do it again)

~even before you all were together, i feel like he would help you pack up your supply bags. he wants to make sure you have everything you need, but it's pretty inevitable that you will take something of his almost every time

~when you're not able to sleep, whether it's because of anxiety or you're just not tired, he'll sit with you on his lap and strum the guitar for a bit to get you sleepier

~never let this man shave his face because imagine-

~y'all will be getting the best sleep you can possibly get when you're together. (he wore you out). he's a walking heater and definitely bear hugs you, very clingy

~he's definitely a gentleman most of the time, because you could be walking into an abandoned building and he's holding the door open for you and ellie (she shoved in front of you and laughed)

~he's always checking your temperature, hand pressed against your forehead. he's terrified that you'll get sick one day, that you'll break out into a fever and he won't be able to save you from turning into one of those...things

"you sure you ain't feelin' too hot, baby? i need to know now"

~oh, if you ever got yourself hurt...you're getting a mix of scolding and genuine worry as he fixes you up. it's one of the few times you've almost seen him cry believe it or not

~but yes, he does bite, again, i will say this again

[067supremacy]

Jealousy

Just some good old Jealousy trope! This was something I found in my drafts from a while ago so not my best work but I hope you enjoy! ❤️

For more check my masterlist

Your team had just managed to make it through to the next round of games. Whether it was sheer luck or divine intervention, you did it. Sae-Byeok held your hand tightly as she couldn't handle the fact her long-term partner was almost killed in front of her very eyes. Luckily for her and you, number 289 a blonde girl with Sharp features who you had invited onto the team had saved your life. The speed at which it all happened left you stunned and on shaky legs. Luckily your girlfriend Sae-Byeok was able to walk you out of the arena as you didn't feel you had the strength to do so anymore.

The gunshots ring out behind you as the team you had just eliminated is sent to their deadly maker. "That could have been us," you weakly call out to no one in particular, your mind didn't even take in who had taken your hand as you were still in a daze. A voice from behind you rang through all the buzzing going around in your brain. "You did great, we couldn't have won that round without you." The blonde who saved your life says in a cheery voice. Looking back at the game itself you can't even remember a single thing you did, Sae-Byeok took on most of the hard work for you. She was doing everything in her power to make sure you got over the line, once again showing the loyalty and love she has for you.

After making it back to the Main Hall with the bunk beds lined up the piggy bank above your head fills with the cash of the fallen. The mountain of money gets bigger and you realise that your and Sae-Byeok's dream of getting her family back together under one roof is finally in sight. The blonde from before took a seat next to you and your girlfriend. "That's a lot of money, I hope it is enough to get me out of debt" you hear a person behind you say as the multiple groups speak among themselves. It was all becoming tribalistic now, the groups were getting smaller and less trustworthy, you had the stance of making as many friends as possible but your girlfriend didn't trust easily, and she certainly didn't trust any of the low lives and criminals she was sharing this space with.

The Blonde girl rubbed your shoulder and asked how you were doing which had gotten Sae-Byeok gritting her teeth in anger but she bit down on her tongue and let it slide given that this same girl had just saved you. But the squeeze on your hand became painfully tight leading you to yelp out in pain which snaps her out of her thoughts instantly. “I’ll be back in a second,” Sae-Byeok says before making her way to the women’s restroom. She checked herself in the mirror as she cleared away the specs of blood on her face before a familiar blonde girl appeared next to her. “You’re a very lucky person.” She says as she washes her hands in the same faucet Sae-Byeok was using. “What?” Sae-Byeok responds with confusion on her face and voice.

“I would do anything to make that mine…. Watch your back because I’m coming for what is yours.” The blonde girl says all the while giving your girlfriend a cheeky smile as she starts to pace back to your position. Upon Sae-Byeok's return the after-game snacks and drinks were being served to the remaining contestants as your partner scanned the room for your existence she spotted you in a crowd, still able to pick you out of the many around you. But then she witnesses the same blonde making you laugh. She balled her hand into a fist and started storming her way to your location, she pushed the blonde out of the way and took hold of your waist while planting a kiss on your cheek. “Are you okay?” She asks with genuine concern as she studies your features. “I’m okay,,, can’t say the same for the poor girl you just threw to the floor” you respond in amusement. You knew exactly what was going on, it happened far too many times outside the games…. She was getting Jealous.

“She said she wanted what is mine…. I’ll never let that happen.” Sae-Byeok spits with venom laced in her voice at the thought of this bitch taking her pride and joy. You pull her face to while cupping her cheek to be nose to nose with her. Lips brushing close together. “Does she know that I’m owned by you? If not you should show her.” You say seductively to Sae-Byeok knowing that would perk her up, you knew she loved nothing more than making it clear who you belonged to. She takes your bottom lip between her teeth and bites down slightly, producing small moans from you that no one seems to notice except for the one pair of eyes Sae-Byeok was hoping was seeing all of this. She kissed you deeply, her tongue mingling with yours in a dance for dominance which she easily wins. You take your position as the bottom very seriously knowing it pleased Sae-Byeok beyond belief to know you were fully committed to her. As the kiss breaks apart you decide to calm her mind completely.

“I’m yours, you have nothing to worry about…. I think you should remind me of that in the restroom.” You say as you take her hand and quickly make your way to enjoy a jealousy-fueled session you are sure to remember………

[canmom]

A Summoning author's notes

this has been out a little while now, let me add some extra background comments...

i released A Summoning with minimal edits from the 2022 version (just adjusting a few lines of Lilith that felt a bit much really). i call it medievalist but it's not really trying for a specific time period, it's in a sort of vague floating time and place peppered with cool things from the past (like most fantasy), but i try to pull on some more unusual threads at least. very loosely you could place it somewhere in the early early modern period, 15th through 17th centuries.

in England, travelling players became more common in the Elizabethan period. the content of what they perform here is very loosely inspired by the tradition of the morality play.

the intercrural sex scene is a now largely forgotten practice, sometimes done in a sex work context (one reason being that it helps with minimising STI transmission). one notable example was Mervyn Tuchet, who was forced to read a rather convoluted statement of Christian belief and then executed for sodomy in 1631. the 'patting about the loins' joke is riffing on Chaucer. a braies is a kind of loose trouser-like clothing.

like any uminekohead would, I used a magic circle from the Key of Solomon on the cover (in this case the Fourth Pentacle of Venus, which is used to summon a person to you and command spirits of venus and thus makes sense for its use in the story, but more importantly it has a cool and intricate design), which goes back to the 14th or 15th centuries. this one includes a few letters from the Celestial Alphabet of Agrippa, which I inevitably appreciate as a Yoko Taro fan.

the wizard tower is a thing of pure fantasy. I wouldn't know where to begin researching it - I found various threads on forums and reddit about the history of the image of a wizard in his tower (for example), and there's some speculation it's inspired by Roman astrologers, but the association of wizards with towers seems to be more of a 20th-century thing, going back mainly to Howard. the sort of comically misogynist philosophy of magic followed by the Master is more inspired by the 20th-century concepts like 'orgone' than anything truly medieval, mixed with some of the wild ideas that Romans had about sexuality.

a friend reasonably pointed out that lilith's conception of transness is very modern - and sure she's a demon from another world and time, but there is a kind of unintentional aspect where it sort of suggests that from the main narrative authority in the story, the modern conception of 'transness' where you are always really a girl is the final correct one, and that seems against the spirit a bit. this feels like a misstep for me, similar to how the final act of Tipping the Velvet pulls in some quite modern lesbian politics to its Victorian setting. if I were to write again - I know as much about the Old English baedlings as anyone who reads @baeddel's blog. but this story is roughly 15th-century-ish as the other references suggest. I believe in that period, gender was understood as being more about what you do than expressing some inner essence, but I would need to research a lot more thoroughly.

nevertheless it has been in the oven for long enough, and I wanna make this a year of releasing things rather than sitting on them for years x3

the next story, The General's Worm, is a really nasty one, just undergoing a final editing pass.

[jokeroutsubs]

[📝ENG TRANSLATION] 🎈Bojan Birthday special 🍰 Bojan Cvjetićanin: A Successful Procastinator

Original article written by Robert Rebolj for Slovenske novice, published 22.08.2020. Photos by Žan Pevec and Tomaž Rupnik.

English translation by @kurooscoffee, review by IG 10_anja, proofread by @flowerlotus8.

🎧 Audio version available here.

Full article below the cut! 👇

A Successful Procrastinator.

2020 was supposed to be the year for the young Ljubljana's Bežigrad band, which has announced their breakthrough into stardom through dedication and songs like 'Gola' and 'Vem, da greš'.

Ph: Personal archive.

Bojan is currently one of the most popular musicians, loved by both girls and boys alike.

"Last year, we made a plan that was supposed to withstand anything, even a bullet. On the 1st of April, we would have released the album, presented it at two events in Ljubljana's Cvetličarna, and then we would have a summer full of concerts. Unfortunately, everything fell through. If we can't support the album with concerts, it doesn't make sense to release it for now," the 21-year-old singer and songwriter, whose future is expected to be dazzling, described the unexpected turn of events.

Ph: Tomaž Rupnik. The five Joker Out members from Ljubljana have been making waves with great music for some time now.

How are you coping with the disruption of these events that are important to you?

Bojan: At first, we found the whole situation funny; we thought everything would normalise within two months. Back then, I was quite inactive and uncreative, and with each passing month, my mood became even more gloomy. Realisation that this could drag on for a long time has a significant impact on your psyche. And while there’s a widespread belief among the people that this is now a period of new creativity, I’ve created very little myself. I was grieving more than anything else!

We’re hearing a lot of criticism about the immature behavior of young people—partying, ignoring experts' warnings. But there are also those who are very responsible. Which of those are you?

My perspective is that young people here are actually quite responsible. I think they are aware of the warnings and don’t socialise recklessly. Recently, I went out for the first time in five months. In front of Kino Šiška, around 50 people had gathered. It was very calm. People socialised within their groups and kept their distance.

Ph: Žan Pevec. "My parents taught me that no amount of money can replace a clear conscience and fair earnings," he says.

I’d say we don’t have a problem with ultra-parties here. What seems more problematic to me is that the restrictions on cultural events are extremely strict and, without any legal basis, prevent a huge number of people from working and making a living. Meanwhile, at Brezje¹, a few thousand people gathered without any sanctions; most of them belong to the critical age group, and on top of that, they didn’t follow safety measures. It seems to me that a lot of blame is being shifted onto young people, but in reality, those who were the most active in breaking the rules during the pandemic were about 15 years older than us.

¹Brezje is a settlement in the Upper Carniola region of Slovenia, best known for its basilica which is the largest pilgrimage church in Slovenia.

What are the strongest values you’ve taken from home?

My parents taught me to always be honest, no matter what I do, because no amount of money can replace a clear conscience and fair earnings. In our family, we’re also very compassionate and respectful toward all people. Both of them supported me greatly in my creative endeavors and gave me everything I wanted, as long as I was fair to them and fulfilled my responsibilities.

And you did fulfill them? You weren't a rebel?

And I did, yes. I wasn’t a rebel—maybe I had a few moments in secondary school, but that’s probably pretty normal.

Were you a nerd?

A terrible procrastinator (laughs). Every year, at the start of the school year, I promised myself it would be different this time. Before school began, I’d buy new notebooks, pens, a pencil case, and all the supplies, tidy up my desk, make and hang up schedules. It would last maybe three days, and then I was even worst than the previous year—a disaster! (laughs) Only now at university—I'm studying sociology—am I a little more diligent, but I’m still quite a procrastinator.

Which was your favourite subject, and which caused you the most trouble?

The worst was definitely maths, but that’s entirely my fault because, from elementary school to the end of high school, I probably did a total of ten homework assignments. Awful! Of course, you can’t learn maths that way. During periods when I focused on it, I didn’t have any problems. I also really liked my maths teacher! My favourite subjects were sociology and history, and over time, I became happy that we learned Latin as well. I won’t single out physical education—we always played football there, which was fantastic.

So football is your favourite sport?

I’m a fan of extreme sports, especially the acrobatic version of wakeboarding (the most adrenaline-filled version of surfing, editor’s note). I also love fast cars. I used to train judo but had to quit because of severe migraines, and then I started playing football. So yes, it’s probably my favourite sport now.

Do you follow Cristiano Ronaldo's discipline as a counterbalance to the temptations of rock 'n' roll?

In that respect, I’m more like Diego Maradona! (laughs)

Let me guess—when it comes to music, you’re less of a procrastinator?

Not at all! (laughs) I’m not musically educated, which I also deeply regret. As a child, I never showed any interest in music, so, naturally, my parents didn’t enroll me in music school. It was only later that I started taking private guitar lessons, and at the age of 12, I learned everything I know to this day.

"On stage, I stop caring about everything. I feel invincible, like no one can touch me."

Unfortunately, when it comes to learning instruments, I’m the same kind of procrastinator I was in high school. As for writing music and lyrics, I only create when I feel a strange inspiration that I have to write it down. It’s very hard for me to just sit down and start writing. I deeply regret this. If we look at the history, The Beatles’ John Lennon and Paul McCartney reportedly had regular creative meetings, and not one of them ended without a song being written. This means they wrote thousands of songs in their lives, whereas literally everything I write eventually gets released.

From today’s perspective, what would you teach your own children?

I’d like to have kids as young as possible...

Really?!

Really. I’ve even picked out the names already! (laughs)

Please, share them with us!

(Laughs) Oh no, I can’t reveal them yet—someone might steal them! I’ll tell you, but you can’t write them down! (laughs) Anyway, continuing on, I’d definitely teach them everything my parents taught me. I believe those are very good values and solid foundations on which a person can then grow in the right direction. I also think education and the ability to think abstractly are very important. My parents strongly encouraged this in both me and my sister. And although it might seem like I resisted them a bit in the educational part, I’m endlessly grateful to them today for all their encouragement.

What do you value most about your parents?

With my father, definitely his humility. With my mother, it’s how well she listens and how compassionate she is.

You seem very confident, but are you truly confident deep down as well?

I am, I’ve never had any problems with this, and when I work, I know what I’m doing. I also feel like I’m good at sensing and reading people, and I know how to respond to them. I’m open to those who are open to me, but others don’t interest me. I guess it all stems from respect.

How are you with girls?

Also very respectful. It’s true that I’m quite flirtatious, so I like confident girls who might even outflirt me in this regard. I really like that. I’ve only had one somewhat serious girlfriend, but I always try not to be rough, rude, or impolite, although I’m sure there were times when I was. But my main guiding principle is to be a good person. I don’t support violence; it should be stopped at all costs.

At first glance, confidence and modesty don’t seem to go hand in hand…

But that’s exactly it. My father is incredible in this regard, I admire him greatly. He’s an extremely intelligent and successful man, a doctor, a surgeon. He’s achieved so much in life and has provided my sister and I with almost everything. Then I feel embarrassed when I catch myself getting excited about material things and wanting everything, even though I haven’t achieved anything in life yet and can’t afford those things.

"I want to have kids as young as possible. I even have their names picked out!"

My father, who could afford a lot and truly deserves it, doesn’t have that need or desire. Such things mean nothing to him. He always brings me back to reality, as I feel bad about myself at these realisations, like a completely spoiled brat.

Successful people are usually very hardworking, and with work comes absence. And no material thing can replace the absence of parents. How was it for you?

My father worked from early morning, when I also went to school, and he’d come home late in the afternoon, just as I was returning from sports activities after school. My mother, also a doctor—a pediatrician—had a well-organised work schedule. So, we were able to spend our free time together. My father always made time to attend my matches, and later, neither he nor my mother missed any significant concerts. My parents always made plenty of time for my sister and I. I have absolutely no complaints in this regard.

I know firsthand that you’re very popular among both girls and the gay community. Are you aware of this?

I knew about the girls, but I didn’t know I was confirmed to be popular in the gay community. However, I’ve recently met quite a few gay people, and they told me that I am. I admit that I really like this. I’m a big supporter of people being free to be who they are. And if everyone can connect with my lyrics, which are usually written as love songs for women, I feel like I’ve achieved a lot. In general, the gay people I’ve met have been incredibly kind and cool. And they’re amazing partygoers, so I definitely enjoy their company!

On stage, you have such a nonchalant presence…

In life, I’m not nonchalant, but on stage, I always switch to a different version of myself. I stop caring about everything, I feel invincible, and nobody can touch me. In this aspect, I strongly identify with Liam Gallagher’s persona from the band Oasis.

In this sense of immortality, many musicians have lost their compass later in life, along with their voices, and even their hearing. What about you, are you being careful?

I’m very concerned about my voice. At least three or four days before a concert, I avoid partying and staying up late because I’m terrified of losing my voice on stage. As for hearing, I hope I won’t have any issues since we always use noise-canceling earplugs during rehearsals, and at concerts, I wear special headphones to control the volume of the sound reaching me. While some old rockers might call us soft, I don’t care—I definitely don’t want to be deaf and voiceless at 60. Right now, my band and I are ready to do whatever it takes to make it big and turn this into our full-time job. You know, after all, we have to work a bit too! (laughs)

By co-hosting this year’s EMA Fresh alongside Maja Pinterič on national television, you also tried your hand at hosting. If you could evaluate yourself: are you satisfied, do you think you have a talent for hosting?

My first real hosting gig was in ninth grade at a school anniversary event. Objectively speaking, I did very well, and that’s when my mum openly said for the first time that I was truly born for the stage. Before that, she didn’t take me seriously when I mentioned wanting to work in show business.

"My view is that young people here are actually quite responsible."

Later, I hosted almost all events in secondary school, got some bigger opportunities later, attended a drama club, and so on. Honestly, I think there’s a host in me too, but it’s clear that I still have a lot of work to do if I want to become really good. Regarding EMA Fresh, I think I did my job well. If I had prepared better, I could have done very well. Unfortunately, the procrastinator in me won again.

[stars4noah]

HALLEY'S COMET- three.

{WARNINGS}: swearing, drinking, allusions to depression, reader and noah making up yayyyy 🥳🥳

w.c- 2,898

a.n- if you guys couldn't tell by now, this story has kinda turned from being inspired by only halley's comet to being inspired by the entire album! go listen to happier than ever by billie eilish. the album. not the song.

enjoy! <3

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob

if you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment!

i haven't slept since sunday. midnight for me is three a.m. for you.

three more weeks passed since everything happened. the next day, noah tried to come back. i told him to stay away. forever. i promised him that i would be just fine without him, that i didn't need him to prove to me that he was something he didn't want to be. because i was so convinced he didn't want to be better. he just wanted his photographer back.

i started working at a local coffee shop, the spark in my eyes that was once consistent now gone. i didn't have that kind voice that everyone grew to love. i didn't put any effort into my appearance. i just threw my hair into a ponytail and moved on.

a lot of the time, i was glad i lived alone. i could fall back into old habits without being scolded. like drinking, for example. it was the only way i knew how to handle my feelings. which wasn't working very well.

but you're all it takes for me to break a promise.

i knew the next time i saw his face i would break. i would run back. i would stay. spending years with somebody who you're secretly in love with will do that to a person. so i made it my goal to purposefully ignore him.

every time i would go home, i would scroll mindlessly on my phone. i found out that noah canceled the rest of the tour. mental health reasons, or whatever. i rolled my eyes, turning off my phone and cracking open yet another bottle of liquor, feeling the familiar burn go down my throat that i've grown accustomed to. i walked around my apartment mindlessly, humming some unfamiliar tune to myself.

these past few weeks, music has been my number one savior. aside from alcohol.

NOAH'S POV.

these weeks without her proved to be difficult. having fallen into a depression after alyssa and i broke up, [y/n] leaving only made it worse. i sat in my room, staring at the door. sometimes i would pray that she would walk through. surprise me and say it was all just a cruel prank.

countless bottles of hennessy sat in front of my bed. that was all i had been doing. drinking and working out and writing to ease away the pain.

"but nevertheless, i'm fucking depressed. i hide it with sex, and drink till it's fatal." i murmured to myself, taking another sip from the bottle before letting it clatter to the ground, snatching my pen and paper from my desk.

when i went through things like this, i always liked to write down my thoughts. some of those thoughts ended up in songs. and since we were in the middle of writing a new album, this was perfect.

there was a knock at the door and i grumbled a greeting, my eyes never leaving the paper. a couple seconds later, jolly walked in.

"christ, man, you look like hell."

i hummed, continuing to write as he sat in front of me.

"look, i know you're struggling. because of-"

i knew exactly who he was talking about. i didn't want to hear her name. she hurt me enough. "don't say her name."

jolly sighed. "because of her. but dude, we're worried. you know none of it was your fault, right? she was stupid to do that to you."

i scoffed. "she said it herself, jolly. 'he's richer, hotter, and bigger'" i scowled, repeating her words that she had said to me that night. some part of me regretted walking out of that door. i loved her. for years. and i had grown used to loving her. she was all that i had. she was what made me what i am. she was right, really. i would be nothing without her.

"you're doing it again." he said. at this point, i had stopped writing, staring off into space. "doing what?"

"that thing you do when you get all into your head. blaming yourself for everything. how many times do i have to tell you it's not your fault for you to get it in your head, man?" he said, sternly but gently.

i rolled my eyes. "you're wrong."

"how?"

"because i loved her, jolly. i fucking loved her, and i screwed it all up because i can never do anything right. i'll never be good enough. for myself, or anybody."

i buried my face in my hands, sobs racking my body once more. i never liked to be this vulnerable with anybody, even my closest friends. but honestly? i didn't give a fuck anymore. let them see.

"i know man. i know." he said, rubbing his hand over my back in an attempt to sooth me.

it pained jolly to see me like this. i knew that. but it was better to tell people of my thoughts than to keep it bottled up inside, right?

READERS POV.

i was making that damn song all the way till the early morning. i didn't even realize how late it had gotten until i woke up to my alarm. i had fallen asleep at my desk, my computer still running and everything. i didn't have work today, so that left me plenty of time to do whatever the hell i wanted.

months passed. months without seeing or talking to him. i would occasionally text the others, but i wouldn't dare send him a single text. i caught up a bit with folio and jolly, telling them about my ongoing journey with music. i still pursued photography as a side hustle, but my main focus was getting this song perfect.

it was almost done. almost ready to be released. maybe as an album? no, i can't get too carried away. music isn't for me. but as i listened to the song and made sure everything was right, my feelings began to change.

"i don't want it, and i don't want to want you. but in my dreams, i seem to be more honest. and i must admit, you've been in quite a few."

it wasn't a lie. he had began to show up more often in my dreams. not as nightmares, but as something that we could've been.

"Halley's Comet comes around more than i do. but you're all it takes for me to break a promise. silly me to fall in love with you."

that promise. that stupid promise.

"[y/n], please. let me explain-"

"no, noah! i don't care about your shitty explanations and your shitty behavior and your stupid face! i promise, i'll be just fine without you. leave me alone!"

"i haven't slept since sunday. mdnight for me is 3:00 a.m. for you. but my sleepless nights are better with you than nights could ever be alone, ooh-ooh-ooh. i was good at feeling nothing, now i'm hopeless. what a drag to love you like i do, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh."

it wasn't entirely a lie. when i imagined him in the bed next to me, it felt like i could sleep better. when i pretended everything was okay, everything felt lighter. the weight on my shoulders seemed to momentarily disappear, only to crash back down when i realized it was all just a fantasy.

"ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh. i've been loved before, but right now in this moment i feel more and more like i was made for you. for you. i'm sitting in my brother's room. haven't slept in a week or two, or two. i think i might have fallen in love. what am i to do?"

as the song ended, i found myself picking up my phone, going to his contact. i laughed softly to myself as i saw the contact. it was still the same. when everything was nice. when i wasn't all alone. i decided to jump the gun, shooting him a text.

i breathed out a sigh of relief. maybe he didn't hate me as much as i thought. i immediately thought back to the time i took it. when things were better. happier.

"come on! put it on!" i laughed, holding out the little plastic tiara to him. we had gone to disney world for a summer vacation, and i won a tiara from one of the game booths.

"i'm not putting that on." he said, his arms folded across his chest.

i pouted, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes i knew he couldn't resist until he groaned, snatching the tiara from my hands and putting it on his head. despite his previously grumpy demeanor, he still wore a smile when i took the pictures.

i missed that.

the moment i saw him walk through those doors, it was like everything hit me all at once. he looked terrible. i did too, but definitely better in comparison.

"hi." i said softly.

"hi." he said back, sitting down in front of me with his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

i bit my lip as we sat in an awkward silence for a moment before i spoke.

"noah, i-"

"[y/n]-"

i couldn't help but smile softly as we spoke at the same time.

"you first." he said.

i took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself. "i know you've been through a lot, noah. and i should've taken that into consideration when i said all that shit. honestly, i haven't been doing too well myself, if you couldn't tell." i said, gesturing to myself.

"it sounds stupid as fuck, but it feels like theres this void in my chest that's just been so empty since i left. i miss you guys. i miss the band." i said.

he sensed there was something more. "but...?"

"but," i began. "i can't come back as the photographer. after i've recovered somewhat from everything, i realized photography isn't for me. i was to pursue something bigger."

"like?"

"music."

he raised his eyebrows. "you want to become a musician?"

"i know, it sounds absurd and like a child's dream, but i really think-"

"no, [y/n] that's fucking amazing." he said with a small laugh, leaning forward. i smiled slightly. there was that smile i missed.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i mean, i've only heard you sing a handful of times, but you're great. you're gonna make it big, trust me." he said.

my heart warmed at his words. "thank you." i said.

"look, [y/n], i'll be the first to admit how much of a douche i was to you. i've had time to think about it. to get over it and stop wallowing in self-pity. and i'm really sorry. i'm kinda shocked you didn't quit sooner, honestly. but, if you'd like, we could start fresh. you don't have to come back to the band, but we can hang out and shit. maybe i can help you with your music."

his words only made my smile brighten. "yeah, i'd like that. a lot. thank you."

"of course, princess."

after our little friend date, we went to his studio to work on some things. he showed me how different things worked and helped me on writing a song that i had been thinking about.

i bit my lip, jotting down a few lyrics in my notebook as he watched.

i don't really wanna know why you went there. i kinda don't care. you want to kill me? you want to hurt me? stop being flirty. it's kinda working.

i hummed a soft tune to myself as i read the lyrics, trying to figure out what would work right.

did you really think this is the right thing to do? is it news? news to who? that i really looked just like the rest of you.

noah snapped me out of my continuous thoughts, turning back to the computer. "i've been working on stuff, too." he said.

"yeah?"

he hummed in response, pulling up a file full of different songs. "pick one." he said, leaning back.

i bit my lip in thought before clicking on the one titled The Grey.

"evened the scores, then i let it all go fall apart. and every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. looking sideways when i say i'm okay with the past. but i'm afraid of what i might say if you ask."

i leaned back in my chair as i listened to the lyrics, knowing that this song could be about one of two people. me, or alyssa.

"gave you way too many chances, you ran through them all. got everything i could want but it wasn't enough. nobody left for me to talk to, nobody to call. got everything i could want but i still wanted more. yeah, i still wanted more."

the pure emotion in his voice was enough to make my heart break into pieces and clarify who it was about. i knew after what happened with her, he was broken. and this song was only proof.

"there's not another way, don't let me go. don't dig another grave today. i'll make the same mistakes, i'll never know who i was before i faded away into the grey."

the recording stopped, and my eyes darted from the screen to his face. "that's all i have right now." he said. "we have more sessions later this week to finish it."

i gulped. "noah..."

he looked at me and raised a brow. "what?"

"that was fucking beautiful."

i almost felt like i was going to cry. i always loved his voice, but that was on a whole other level. usually he was screaming. he never had those soft vocals like what i just heard.

he smiled softly. "thanks. now get in there."

i blinked, shaking my head. "sorry, what?"

"go on. get in the booth. i want to hear you sing this. we can figure something out."

"noah, i-" "don't argue. go."

i sighed, getting up and heading into the recording booth. maybe it would be okay. i wouldn't fuck it up. i put on the headphones, looking back up at him through the glass. "which one?" i asked.

he hummed, looking through the notebook i had left on the desk.

"what about my future? start it off strong."

i nodded, mentally preparing myself for whatever the hell was about to happen.

"i can't seem to focus, and you don't seem to notice i'm not here. i'm just a mirror. you check your complexion to find your reflection's all alone. i had to go. can't you hear me? i'm not coming home. do you understand? i've changed my plans. cause i, i'm in love with my future. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody else. just wanna get to know myself."

it really was a beautiful song. and it was me putting all of my feelings on the line. the lyrics didn't have a deeper meaning to them like noah's often did. their meaning was just laid flat out. i changed my plans for the future, and i'm waiting to sort things out with myself before falling in love again.

"i know supposedly i'm lonely now. know i'm supposed to be unhappy without someone. but aren't i someone? i'd like to be your answer. cause you're so handsome. but i know better than to drive you home. cause you'd invite me in, and i'd be yours again."

the lyrics seemed to flow freely as i sang, my eyes closed and hands moving in random directions. i didn't even notice him staring.

"but i, i'm in love. with my future. and you don't know her, mm. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody here. i'll see you in a couple years."

i opened my eyes and looked at noah, noticing how his mouth was slightly open. i laughed. "don't start drooling."

he shook himself out of his thoughts. "sorry, that was just. really fucking good. you're a natural, princess. i'm jealous." he said.

i rolled my eyes, stepping out of the booth.

"great, now let's work out a tune."

we spent hours and hours fixing up the song, getting carried away in our musical abilities. last time i checked, it was around 2 am. i didn't want to go home, so i suggested we took a little break and watched a movie or something. he nodded and we sat on the couch, turning on the tv (of course he turned on naruto). my head ended up lulling to the side, landing on his shoulder as i slowly fell asleep. the last thing my brain registered before falling into dreamland was the soft kiss on my forehead and his soft words.

"goodnight, princess."

his lips against mine felt like heaven. it felt like my whole life was complete when i kissed him, when i felt him. he felt like home. something i hadn't known in a long time. i pulled away, breathing slightly heavy as i looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"noah.." i whispered.

he smiled softly and hummed.

"i fucking love you."

"mm.. [y/n]." he mumbled against my lips.

"princess."

"[Y/N]!"