#and the most funny thing is that it is hard to be sure how much iroh's “stupidy” is done on purpose and how much it is just him being him
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HI MAE so i didnt send the shy remus x reader ask but i saw that u wanted ideas and i had one. what about reader who's very cocky and like confident and stuff and remus is intimidated by her usually but then theyre at a party or smth and shes all drunk and shes all over him telling him stuff like how shes got the biggest crush on him or like how hes genuinely one of the most attractive people shes ever met and shy remus is js like 😳 while also taking care of her bc shes so drunk and simultaneously trying not to combust
Hi my love, thank you so much for your request!
cw: alcohol
shy!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
Really, it should be Sirius’ responsibility to look after you. It is his party, after all. But Sirius has a love for delegating unwanted tasks and also a love for meddling (which Remus theorizes he got at least partly from James). So, naturally, you’re in Remus’ lap.
“You guys are so nice,” you croon, words strung together like cursive and fingers toying with a loose thread of Remus’ sweater. He’s resigned himself to letting you unravel the whole thing without complaint. “All of you, all your friends are the nicest…the warmest people I ever knew. How’d you do that?”
Remus smiles down at you. “I think James has always been good at bringing out the best in people.”
He’s not entirely sure how you came to be lying on your back on the couch, your head on Remus’ thigh and your hands reaching for the dangling thread above you like a cat enjoying some lazy play. If he asked you, Remus doesn’t think you’d know, either. It makes a lovely view for him, your eyes uptilted in his direction and features relaxed and unguarded as a result of the series of tequila shots Sirius had cajoled you into not realizing you’d already had a few drinks. Remus very much enjoys having you this close and being able to look at you so casually, even if your brassy, larger-than-life demeanor often terrifies as much as impresses him. Even if your head on his thigh makes his face feel like a fire hazard.
“Don’t think he had to work very hard with you. You’re such a sweetheart already.” You say it so simply, an obvious truth, and Remus finds himself staying perfectly still like a rabbit in the woods that thinks it might yet escape your notice. His heartbeat pitters in everywhere from his cheeks to his fingertips. He worries he’s going to have to make a response, but your eyes widen suddenly. “Oh! Sit still.”
No problems there. Remus moves only his eyes as you sit up from his lap, tucking your feet underneath you and reaching for him with your lip trapped between your teeth in concentration. You touch a fingertip to his cheek and smile victoriously.
“Got it.” You turn your finger, showing him. “You had an eyelash.” You blow it off your fingertip and onto Sirius’ rug. Remus marvels at the unthinking loveliness of you. “Have I talked to you about your eyes before?” you ask conversationally.
Remus blinks, ceasing his tracking of the eyelash to look at you. “I don’t think so,” he ventures, though he knows you haven’t. He remembers most exchanges you’ve had, and he definitely would have remembered that.
“Oh.” Your brows purse softly. “Must’ve been with someone else,” you murmur, almost to yourself. “Anyway, it’s important to me that you know, they’re really beautiful.”
Remus startles, partly at the compliment but mostly at the touch you lay on his cheek, your fingers cool and gentle, like you’re steadying his face for your perusal. You look into his eyes attentively.
“They’re brown,” Remus says in a soft voice.
Your lips tilt like he’s said something funny. “Nobody’s eyes are just brown, Remus. There are so many different kinds.” Your index finger draws a short line across his cheekbone. Remus can’t tell you mean for it to or not. “Yours are sort of like a…like a gradient. They get lighter farther down.”
Remus decides to study your eyes as you study his, and he sees what you mean. The shadow of your lashes makes your irises look darker at the tops. It’s difficult to tell, though, with your pupils eclipsing so much of them.
“They’re, like, a warmish brown,” you’re saying, gaze unwavering. “Like the color you want your tea to be. You know, there’s some fact or study or something that says brown eyes make people feel safe. Did you know that?”
“I didn’t,” Remus says. The weight of your attention is taking its toll on him, his body aching to sink into the couch cushions. He wants to ask if brown eyes have that effect on you, but he doesn’t have the nerve. “Is that so?” he asks instead.
You shrug. “I dunno. Works on me.”
The breath stalls in Remus’ lungs. You’re looking at him like you haven’t said anything out of the ordinary, expression wide open and somewhat unfocused.
You yawn, removing your hand from his face to half cover your mouth. It’s an awfully endearing show, and over too fast. “I guess that’s probably why—” You cut yourself off with a hiccup. Your eyes flare like you weren’t expecting it, hand jumping back up in front of your mouth. Remus grins before he can stop himself.
“Oh.” Your smile is an afterthought, a response to his. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Remus isn’t even certain what you’re apologizing for.
Your eyes have that sweet, attentive look again. “I really like when you smile.”
Remus feels heat spread up to the tips of his ears. It’s official. He’s got more in common with a live flame than a human anymore. “What were you saying?” he prompts.
You bite your lip as though you’ve forgotten. “Oh!” Your eyes light. “Just, I guess that’s probably why I have such a giant crush on you.”
Remus’ heart thuds. He breathes, “What?”
“Yeah.” You roll your eyes, grinning at yourself. “It’s relentless.” Hiccup. “Super embarrassing. But—but you’ve got those eyes, and your freckles, and that sweetheart face…” You shrug again, helpless. Ride out another hiccup. “What am I supposed to do?”
Remus stares at you. It seems impossible. You have a crush on him? It’s out of the natural order. The world’s gone to chaos. It’s supposed to be the other way around! Remus pines silently after you, you eventually find some big, cocksure bloke who can match you, and Remus continues to pine whilst you go on with your brilliant, dazzling life. That’s the way it’s meant to be.
“I would…” Remus finds his mouth forming around words he doesn’t recognize until they come out. “I’d know a thing or two about a crush like that.”
Your lips part, but you don’t look offended. “Well, yeah. I’d hope you knew I fancied you, I’ve only been seeking you out ever since we met.”
Not what he meant. Remus did not, in fact, know that.
“I didn’t notice you were,” he admits.
Your head tilts. “Really?” There’s an obvious follow up question—then what did you mean just now?—but for one reason or another, you don’t ask it. You only lean onto his shoulder, your head slipping a few inches down his arm.
Remus channels all his bravery into an arm around your waist to keep you from slumping further. He vows to himself to tell you tomorrow.
#shy!remus#shy!remus lupin#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fic#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#the marauders#marauders fandom#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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something very strong and dark about this, and i think it's very funny that i really picture Si!rafe for this, because of how much he's divided. but what i love the most about that dark content, it's the writing of this, of rafe. it's very interesting because it's true that he's got not regret, but you can see that he's not proud of himself too, he just wanted to do it.
exactly !! i believe he leads with self serving desire entirely and uses excessive arrogance to cover for whatever semblance of ‘guilt’ he may feel.
and i'm thinking, it's crazy how pathetic he is, because Imfaooo he really needed someone who is not conscient just to be sure and to feel more powerful. the misogyny is too real unfortunaly. but actually, Si!rate give me so much this vibe because he's a white kook priviligied man so you can't tell me he would never assault a poor pogue girl?? let's be honest, anywaus i'm talking too much
rafe would be a virgin if it wasn’t for the mass of unconscious woman you find at parties. doesn’t work well under pressure, sensory issues, easily stressed — it’s a culmination of things that makes it so he can never take control and have it be good, especially not for a virgin. so he practises on people like they’re fuck dolls and tells himself woman are all one and the same.
this rafe is also a canon woman killer, racist, & republican supporter.. soooo u tell whether or not he’d sexually assault a woman lmfao.
«uncoordinated » he's not even conscient himself, it's killing me. he's really such an hard case
the biggest thing about this being how he tells himself he’s doing it for his sexual pleasure, when really it’s ambiguous. pussy is pussy and it feels good in all its right but is that what keeps his dick pumping despite the coke ? probably not. inside he knows it’s committing such a shameful act that lets him embrace his depravity and exercise control in one of the most brutal forms.
the sentence, he say it to reader or more to reassure himself?? I'm running crazy
the voicesss… they’re always there. he’s more addressing/affirming himself then he is reader, but also feels so comfortable verbalising threats when he knows no one can hold him to it — especially not when you’re drugged and forced out underneath him like u are.
— r. cameron / reader
warnings: DUBCON — rafe roofies and then rapes reader / unprotected PinV / misogyny / mention of drugs (cocaine & roofies) / mention of virginity / inspiration taken from maddy & nate (euphoria)
synopsis: rafe cameron x fem!reader… sometimes rafe needs to slip a girl a little something at a party to get some, and where’s the shame in that if he knows they want him anyway, they’re just too prudish to admit it.
After you’ve successfully been dosed, he makes you sit on his lap for lack of space on the couch so he can rock you on his knee until you’re tired, delirious, and horny enough to be lifted upstairs, legs dangling against his broad back while you hiccup and giggle next to your upside-down view of his chest.
His nose is numb from the coke and his brain heady, one could argue almost as inebriated as you. But the lines make him oversaturated, not cock-dumb like what he slipped you — eager hands already pawing at his zipper and coming to a fumbled close around the metal just before you’re tossed onto a bed, spread aloof like the crumpled sheets.
“You’re sooo nice to me Rafe.. when all the other guys were sayin’i shoulda gone home,” you end with a belligerent nod of your head, slurring throughout and biting your lip in sexless embarrassment, chewing the skin raw enough to reflect your torn consciousness instead.
Rafe simply smirks, chin protruding outwards while his eyes flit between your thighs peeking through your overridden dress and your tits falling out of the frilly décolletage.
“You a virgin?”
“Mhm” you lie, despite the reeling dizziness occupying your headspace. Besides, nobody likes a whore — especially not rafe, uninterested in ‘stretched out pussy’ as you vaguely recall from his earlier conversation crowded around friends.
He approaches closer now, knocking your trembling knees apart with one of his beefy thighs, bulge forward and creasing in his pants as your dialogue gets him hard already, imposing his physicality in all its glory: “What like— you’ve never even been fingered before?”
You shake your head, tousling curls before staring back up at him, “Only my own.”
To that he chuckles, the noise grating and stunted when he uses it as an excuse to adjust himself in his pants, drawing his chest down further until he’s now hovering above you.
“Uh y’know,” he tongues at his cheek, “I could take care of that for you, practically all spread open an’ready huh?”
Like it wasn’t his plan to get you dumb and stuffed by the end of the night, even if it meant bringing out his inner brute, he was taller, faster, stronger — he could do it if he really wanted, but he made it easy for you instead. Could feel the roofie worming its way into your consciousness, jamming rationality and flooding you with hedonistic desire that would trigger your sex endorphins and make it so that you would want this, that he could brag about it without you opening your bitch mouth the next day and claiming ‘rape’; an ugly word anyways, coming out harsh in a spit, nothing like what rafe was doing to you, especially not with the way you were looking at him.
Your mouth opens, then closes, seemingly flailing on confirmation when really your jaw is getting slack and numb, and so you feel encouraged to nod instead, the movement making your thoughts go all bubbly, refracting Rafe’s glinting eyes at your ‘consent’.
He wastes no time with prep, shoving your dress up so it’s tucked over your tits, basal temperature remaining warm and stuffy despite the exposure to cool air. A good indicator though, means rafe can tell it’s working, and just how long he has before you might start struggling.
When he pulls himself out of his shorts it’s surprising, of course, everything about him is pretty, one would expect a tangible reflection of the cruelty on his features but instead, his dick looks cutesy, if not for the intimidating size.
Spit trickles harshly down his palm when he wraps a hand around himself, tugging quickly and using both his legs to split you around his midriff, leaking and achy despite the inattention you’ve received.
“You want this dick so fuckin’ bad huh,” he laughs at the puddle of arousal leaking out underneath you, considers swiping a finger into it to stick into your mouth but he doubts you’d be able to breathe right now if he interfered with the half catatonic features on your face, and it’s not like he’s out for that type of violence anyways (or at least not right now).
When he pushes himself inside you’re silent, pupils retreating in favour of a squeal — ironically a very Rafe-esque trait — while Rafe bites down into his cheek and rolls his palm over your chest to ease the pressure of the fit.
“Thought the roofie woulda loosened you up a bit..” mumbled out while his stomach clenches, now bracing his entire heavy arm across your abdomen and pinching skin when you involuntarily quiver at the weight, “You can take it c’mon.”
He thrusts hard and uncoordinated, fucking like he knows he’s hot, or at least how many more pills he has left in his stash. Knocking against your insides and entirely focused on the way his dick feels, knowing how easily he could move onto another victim, and just how much he wants to enjoy you in particular before it’s over.
Sweat clings to both your bodies, the slick getting louder when each thrust manages to pound a squelch out of you, spattering against the sheets or catching on Rafe’s balls to stick the both of you together with messy tendrils.
You’re pliant, let him move your legs so your ankles entwine behind his back, heavy hand locking them together and giving you both little breathing room; just enough for him to spill obscenities straight into your emotionless face with hot, sticky breath — he laughs, manically and seemingly at his own joke, before deciding to share it with you, “just don’t go running ‘bout me ‘assaulting’ you right. You wanted this, not my fault my cock’s so good the slut has to go dumb hmm?” mocking you with a teasing lilt and a raised brow.
You pat at his swollen chest, it’s all you can manage to do, urgent to get him off you, give you a little space atleast. He only shoves himself in further, lips puckering to sloppily catch yours, saliva straying down your chin and jaw instead.
Your outright discomfort seems to get him going even more, thrusts increasing in increment despite becoming more careless, tip catching your clit when he slips out and hurries to stuff it back in.
When his face pinches up, brows tensed and nose furrowed, you can tell he’s going to cum, the friction between your bodies almost unbearable with the heat that suddenly envelops him.
A slew of curses are hissed out, casual vulgarity being one of Rafe’s favourite expressions of self, and then he’s pulling out and wrapping a fist around himself to paint your tummy white. Ropes shooting watery on your tummy and painting him a proud picture.
He shakes himself off on you a final time before tucking his wet dick back into his briefs, cleaning himself up entirely unbothered by the dissected mess of you laying drugged and fucked out on the bed.
“My head feels funny.”
“Yeah, that’s cause I fucked it out of whack.” He says it serious but you can imagine his upturned lips at his own sick sense of humour.
“Where are you going?” you sit up groggy, chest tight.
“Uhh, back downstairs, got some more yayo I needa lay off— you can stay here or.. wherever, doesn’t matter.”
He has the decency to shut the door fully when he leaves, yet you’re still alone and forced to lay in the waste of one of Rafe Cameron’s nights out.
#i love these thoughts thank u so much it’s never too much !!#i added on so much too i just love talking ab rape cameron 😬
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You what? | Viktor x Jayce x Kid!Reader | Arcane ¤
Summary: Viktor knows Jayce sometimes does things without thinking, but this? This goes beyond his own limits.
Warnings: Mentions of trauma - Kid!Reader - Viktor and Jayce are a couple - OFF CANON EVENTS - Human traffic - GN Reader - PLATONIC - grammar mistakes -
When Viktor enters on monday morning into the lab with his coffee in hand he expects nothing but silence, after all he is here before Jayce most mornings.
But he stops in his tracks when he hears Jayce's voice, maybe sounding less...well less like him. He sounds like he is talking to a small animal. It reminds him on how he uses to talk to Rio when he was a kid.
Pushing memories aside Viktor retakes his way and goes deeper into the lab, where their experiments are.
And oh, if his illness did not kill him as most doctors had said then this would do it.
Jayce, using one of his experiments showing it to a kid who seems to be as suprised as any kid would be and perphas gives the most honest reactions to his inventions.
But wait, go back.
Jayce and a kid.
His cane hits the floor in suprise and he ends being watched by two pairs of eyes.
Jayce looks like he was discovered breaking some important rule, to which Viktor is centrain that bringing a kid into the lab counts as but he wont say it. And another pair that looks at him with curiosity.
There is silence, no one really knows what to say or how to act. But Jayce ends reacting, leaving the experiment and going to help Viktor with his cane who is feeling a headache coming.
"Hey Vik! long time no see, how's your house?"
Honestly? Viktor wants nothing more than to go back in time and insist that he is fine and does not need rest. Maybe like that he would have stayed with Jayce and prevent...this.
But time travel is something that is still on the making, so back to the main point.
Viktor just gives out the most tired look, then turns to a near chair, sits and taking his coffee simple says "Explain"
Becuase if there is something he has come to learn while dating and loving Jayce is that nothing should suprise him (and yet Jayce still manages to do it) and also, is better to ask upfront than to wait for him to talk up. Viktor can still remember that one time he found a big (illegal no less) plant at his home and Jayce ignored it for two hours till he asked.
"Well you see, its really funny actually..."
"Jayce...."
"Alright..., so I took a walk around campus and saw some...suspicious individuals and well lets say I was not very discrete"
Viktor can just imagine the scene
"And they saw me and ran but I chased after them"
Stupid move Viktor thinks
"And then they trow me this kid at me, i mean what could I have done? So i took them home, gave them a warm meal and a bath" Jayce ends sounding a bit too proud of himself.
"Jayce you...you stole a kid?" Viktor asks because he is confused "And did not report the incident?"
"Uh well i was going too but then (Y/N) started to wonder around so i kind of forgot..."
"(Y/N?" Viktor asks and sees you peeking out from behind the big desk.
"Yes! Thats their name, im not sure about much more, only that they like chocolate and blue stuff"
Viktor ends in silence for various minutes. You must be an orphan he concludes, an orphan from the undercity, who had no other choice but to follow a gang in order to survive. He tries to calculate your age but its hard, you have been not eating well, thats clear, and he can already see some bruises from the misstreatment of the undercity.
Being raised by parents or family its a luxury after all.
"Jayce you cant just take a kid in" Viktor says and his heart almost breaks as he sees you run towards Jayce hugging his legs.
Noted, you may not talk but you understand, its clear you are more intelligent than what you leave to be at first.
Street smart maybe?
"But Viktor! I cant just leave them" Jayce responds picking you up. "If they return to the undercity i dont think they will make it"
Jayce sees how you push your head against his chest and smiles softly at you.
"And we cant leaven them at an orphan home! I have read of these places, they suck"
Viktor must agree, its not like he comes from one but knows well that lots of kids ends being sold off...
"Alright and whats your plan?" Viktor asks "Do you even know what it means to raise a kid, or how? What about me? Were you going to consulte me?"
He can see the pain in Jayce eyes at his last sentence. "Of course I was! I was just thinking of a...well a good moment"
"Because bringing them to the lab was the perfect idea"
"I could not leave them at home! I mean i tried but- they would not let go of my leg, i think they have some type of trauma..."
Viktor takes another deep breath, Jayce kidness and heart knows no limits.
"Besides you did say you wanted to help the peopel from the undercity"
"This is different, we are talking about raising! adopting a kid!"
"So you are considering?" Jayce asks in the most hopeful tone ever.
Viktor just lets out another breath.
"Well, its not like they can go back and yes, orphan homes sucks" Viktor responds. "But we need to do this right. And i mean legally"
Jayce nods and all of him lights up like he has discover a new thing. He goes to Viktor carefully managing (Y/N) by his hands and leans down to peak Viktor's lips.
"Yes!! Totally! I will talk to Mel about it, im sure she can move some contacts for this" Jayce says and Viktor can see his brain making more and more plans.
"They also need clothes, and we should think of getting them into school" Viktor adds standing up with his cane and going closer. He can see (Y/N) eyes and cant denied how it makes his heart melts.
"Dad?" Its what you say looking at Viktor, then you look at Jayce "Mom?"
Jayce smiles and nods while Viktor is left without words. "Yes! We are your mom and dad now" he says pointing at him then at Viktor.
"Family?"
Jayce nods again
"...Chocolate?" You asks once more
"Alright thats all, if they eat too much sugar this place will be a disaster, you do remember we have dangerous things in here, right?"
Jayce nods at Viktor then whispers to you "We will get chocolate once we end work"
Viktor snorts then moves to his desk to finally start working and also to let his mind register everything. He hears the doors closing imagining Jayce went with you to talk to Mel.
But no, he feels a pull at his trousers and looks down at you who looks up at him extending your arms
"Dad! Up!"
Viktor does as told pulling you on his lap and passing you some papper and a pen. Both fall in a comfortable silence.
And Viktor thinks, this is something he can totally get used to.
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Ben’s Big BL Blurb 2: Fall is Finally Here
I am simply too busy with worth, family, other hobbies, and life to write about every show in real time anymore. I’m sorry to all the Stray Thoughts readers who’ve reached out about whether I would pick that back up, and I simply just do not have the time to do them anymore. Instead, I’ll try to do one of these as often as I can to catch up on things.
First, let’s go over some shows I finished recently that I don’t think I wrote much about.
First Note of Love
I was so happy to see Michael back on screen, and I was glad to see that he’s still able to get great chemistry with his co-star. Unfortunately, I don’t think this show was very coherent, so I didn’t get a lot out of it emotionally. It was a pretty inoffensive watch overall, and thus an easy show to put on without having to work through too much. I liked the work between everyone, and Mei Lei was such a fun character. Probably won’t return to this one, though.
Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo
This is probably the show of the year for me. There’s so much I loved about this show. I loved that the characters had sex, but were neither rewarded nor punished for it; their sex didn’t solve any problems. I also really love how this show explored how childhood trauma expresses in two different kinds of boys, and I love that we got to see a bully reckon with his actions and get closure. I love that this show ended with them being kinda poor, but happy together. I love how messed up they both were about everything. I loved that Juyeong wasn’t stupid, and could read what was going on.
I clearly need to write a separate post to unpack everything I felt in this show.
Let’s move on to what I’m watching currently, in no particular order…starting with the lesbians, and then the worst BLs.
Apple My Love
Genuinely having fun with this GL. I like how quickly most of the drama plays out. It’s giving me quite a bit of secondhand embarrassment, but I like the characterizations in this show. This new production house brought us Knock Knock, Boys! and Monster Next Door this year. We need to keep an eyes on them.
Haunted Hearts
I’m so fascinated by Oxin Films teaming up with Regal Entertainment. The leads are very attractive, but the cinematography is really boring. I’m trying to stay invested, but it’s kind of a sleepy watch. Also amused that they started airing a ghost romance right after Halloween ended. I’ve kind of moved on emotionally from the season.
My Damn Business
This show could be good, but it’s not. I struggled with episode 5 because our lead looked more relaxed and happier with his senior than the guy he’s getting into a romance with. There’s something missing here in this one, but I can’t exactly put my finger on it. I think it’s primarily a side effect of the short run time, but I think the boss’s interest isn’t landing properly for the employee to respond to.
Eccentric Romance
This show could be good, but it’s not. Still, I am obsessed with a murder mystery being the primary source of confusion between our leads. I was willing to forgive this show a lot of its rough edges, but it failed to handle the turn from friendship to sexual/romance really well. I feel like our guys just started dating and having sex, and I’m a bit frustrated that they didn’t talk about it really at all, particularly since this show features two different languages spoken on screen. Genuinely looking forward to seeing how this one finishes.
See Your Love
I’m not sure this show is exactly working that well, but everyone is very pretty and I’m having a decent time watching it. I like the way Shao Peng stands up for himself, and I like that nothing that’s happened has been totally unbelievable or unreasonable (at least with the mains). I’ll be curious how the hard of hearing and deaf viewers respond to this one once it’s complete.
Love is Like a Poison
This show is actually so funny. I love that Shiba is in his own lawyer genre separate from everyone else, and I really like how the two of these guys have become a team. I’m curious how they manage to resolve the scamming next week, but this has been the most unexpected dynamic of the year.
Love in the Air: Koi no Yukon
MAME won this year, y’all. We all have complicated feelings about her, but she’s secured a loving adaptation from a Japanese team that’s put solid effort into bringing her characters to life. Every character feels correct compared to their Thai counterpart we saw on screen, and that’s a strong sign that the writing behind MAME’s work is strong, even if we all have issues with the way she tackles certain themes. I’m really impressed with this adaptation, and really like this version of Rain.I also feel like this show is doing a better job blending the forthcoming couple focus shift.
Our Youth
We just got this show, but damn does it feel sharp! I’m always going to be a sucker for a cinephile character, and I’m so compelled by the way Minase is drawn to Hirukawa. The scene in episode 2 where Minase has to leave Hirukawa’s house might be one of the most impressive sequences we’ve had in a while, requiring a great deal of choreography and effort from the actors and the camera crew to pull off, and I’m excited to see how these characters split and then come back together.
Smells Like Green Spirit
Let me just say that I need another Abe Alan appearance when he isn’t playing a character doing horrible things to his students. I’ve enjoyed meditating on the 90s with this show and what that era felt like. I’ve liked how the show has tried to focus on how different parents (especially the moms) have responded to their kids coming to terms with themselves. I’ve also really enjoyed the friendship that’s grown between Mishima and Kirino. I’m struggling with Yumeno a lot, because I’m really not a friend of bully romances. Still, I feel like this is one of those shows I’ll remember for a long time because of its focus on the 90s.
Blue Canvas of Youthful Days
I think @lurkingshan covered reactions to episode 5 and episode 6 better than I could, and I loved @twig-tea giving context for the film history moment in episode 6. I remember screaming into the chat for friends to show up for this when I got to that moment. This show has two great pairs of dynamics going on that mirror well. It’s got such a strong handle on its characters’ motivations and how they would respond to the actions from each other. It’s probably the tightest thing I’m watching now, backed by extremely dialed-in performances. I will be thinking about Qi Lu organizing his potential first kiss with Qin Xiao, and how unapologetic he’s been about the entire affair. He’s being selfish here, but I kinda like it. I’m so thankful that we are somehow still getting this show, because goddamn do the Chinese actors deliver on chemistry sometimes.
Interview With the Vampire Season 2
I finished this with a friend last week, and holy fuck is this show still so, so good. We watch a lot of gay romance because of BL, and I am having so much fun watching the show about gay divorce. I loved the time we spent in Paris, Daniel’s shifting role in the narrative, and the new insights we got into Lestat this season. I will miss Claudia so much, and I have to give a standing ovation to Delainey Hayles stepping into the role of Claudia and doing the damn thing this season. I just love seeing my little fucked up gay people torment each other on screen.
I'm still thinking about Louis and Lestat reuniting in a hurricane after Claudia derided this as yet another chapter in their stormy romance.
Dropped Shows
Unfortunately, everyone can’t win. Some of these shows are just too long for me to keep up with them, and oftentimes I get bored. I’ve currently dropped:
Lovesick 2024 - I may go back. We’ll see
Jack & Joker - It’s just too long, and they just killed Jennie and a kid. I’m good.
Fourever You - I’m bored with Earth always playing this character type.
Pluto - Namtam and Film are beautiful, but this looks too messy right now.
Every You, Every Me - Wasn’t intrigued after episode 1, but the commentary may draw me back.
Kidnap - Ohm is not enough to keep me invested in this show.
Uncle Unknown - How did they make a 6 minute show feel slow?
I’m genuinely not trying to be harsh to Thai shows out here, but I just do not have the time to keep up with all of them when they’re this long and dragging.
Thanks for stopping by, and let me know if there’s something I missed that I should check out.
#Ben watches#first note of love#let free the curse of taekwondo#apple my love#haunted hearts#my damn business#eccentric romance#see your love#love is like a poison#doku koi: doku mo sugireba koi to naru#love in the air koi#love in the air: koi no yokan#our youth#miseinen#smells like green spirit#blue canvas of youthful days#interview with the vampire#bl series#japanese bl#thai gl#taiwanese bl#chinese bl#filipino bl#korean bl
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Who's Passing NNN? Tokyo Debunker Pt 5
hey man. the world keeps turning and i keep waking up. im grateful!
a/n: sorry i didn't update this series all weekend i mysteriously got sick with nausea and terrible headaches so i stayed away from my laptop most of the time. also please join me in prayer for an election recount. amen! anyways. enjoy haku and the others jacking it! quick disclaimer that i write these under the assumption the tokyo debunker boys are at least 18 years old. they appear to be present at a university considering there are professors and a chancellor. not to mention the boys drink, smoke, gamble, and refer to themselves as adults.
summary: pt 5 of the "Who's Passing NNN?" Tokyo Debunker series. i am genuinely surprised y'all like these but hey! i enjoy writing them which makes it so much better!
cw: men pulling their dicks out to rub them!!!!!! MINORS DNI AS PER USUAL!!!!!!!!!!!! again... not proofread.
Frostheim || Vagastrom || Jabberwock || Sinostra || Hotarubi || Obscuary || Mortkranken
(obscuary next... halfway through with them. enjoy!)
Hotarubi:
Subaru Kagami: Pass
Honestly struggled with him a little bit because of how funny it would be if he failed and writing him in a situation where he had to hold it together, but then I realized I already did that (see “He Knows”). I love tormenting submissive men but I’m gonna give him a lil break.
He’s hard as a rock. His cock harshly presses into his pants, seeking friction and begging to be set free. Subaru, however, remains the picture of elegance - if you ignore his flushed cheeks and trembling silhouette. He was sitting alone in the hidden Hotarubi cabin, waiting to meet Haku later. He held a hot cup of tea in front of him, trying not to spill it as he slowly lifts it to his lips. He manages to gently sip at it, his fingers slipping just slightly and spilling just a little over the edges. The tea slides from his lips, past his chin, and down his neck, lightly staining the collar of his shirt. He sighs in frustration and hooks a finger over his collar, pulling it away from the tea. He only just now realizes how warm he felt, the exposure of his heated skin to cooler air giving him goosebumps. He suppresses a gasp at the feeling and readjusts his collar, placing his tea down with his other hand. Now that he was aware of the heat, it wouldn’t leave him alone. It seemed to flood his body from head to toe - flushed cheeks and neck, his body tense with heat and arousal, his blood flowing to his shameful erection.
He wondered if he should cancel on Haku, and nearly immediately regrets the thought. That would potentially make things inconvenient for him, and he didn’t want that… But he also knew he wouldn’t be much for conversation like this. Not to mention it would be absolutely mortifying if Haku saw right through him. Subaru sighs, though it sounds more like a pleasured groan. This was a terrible predicament.
He gets a notification on his phone. Something from Wickchat. With trembling hands, he opens the message. It’s from Haku. He’s running late.
Subaru sighs. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get through the next half hour waiting for Haku like this. Technically, he could take care of it, here… There was no one around, the rain would muffle any noise, and it’s not like this cabin is clearly visible through the trees. He whips his head around the empty cabin, as though someone would be hiding in the corners. His flush grows deeper at the thought of doing this somewhere other than his dorm, but he can’t deny the way his cock jumps at the thought of getting away with it. With his lips pressed into a thin, trembling line - he reaches for his pants, squeezing himself through the fabric. He whines, the sound more needy than intended. He slaps a hand to his mouth, going silent for a moment, his eyes darting to the windows of the small space. When he decides he’s safe, he does it again -- squeezing himself gently, trying to relieve some pressure. It isn’t long before he’s gently rubbing his palm against his tip, teasing himself. He keeps his hand clasped tight to his mouth, muffled moans and whimpers slipping through. He gently teases the head, slowly dragging his fingers up and down his shaft. He rubs his thighs together and leans forward, realizing his peak is rapidly approaching. He rips his hand from his mouth and swiftly grabs a handkerchief, pointing his cock at that as he finally bursts, a strangled moan lifting from his throat and his cum spurting onto the thin fabric. He shivers, staring at the mess, wondering if brewing another cup of tea would get the scent of his arousal out of the air.
Haku Kusanagi: Fail
Come on. Let’s be for real. He did not try. Caught wind of the bet between Romeo and Rui and just laughed. He is not passing this shit, and he knows it. As much as I would love to write Haku getting off… I’ll make him suffer one more time.
Haku shivers, the air just a tad bit chilly on the galaxy express. Usually, these rides were quick, but unfortunately, his mission had been quite a ways away. He could expect to be here for a while. He chews on his thumbnail, tapping his foot as though to speed up time. He drums his fingers on the plush seat next to him, doing anything to distract himself and pass the time. He was good at hiding his arousal, typically, and that hadn’t changed today. But, for whatever reason, every single sensation felt more potent today. The chill of the air on his face, the slide of his shirt and collar along his chest and neck, the rush of warmth following every twitch of his impatient length - it all felt the same. Stimulating. He found himself having to blink multiple times or gently shake his head to prevent himself from getting lost in sensation after sensation.
He sighs and leans his head back, listening intently to the gentle thrum of the hearth of the train as it smoothly coasted through the unseen anomalous pockets of space. He was glad this train didn’t rumble or thump, because if it did, it would’ve caused him more than enough friction to lose himself far quicker.
He shifts his gaze to his half-hard cock as it continues to rise insistently. He groans inwardly, his expression twisting into a displeased look. Heat flushes through him as his cock twitches, as though noticing his attention. He sighs miserably, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was not going to jack off on this train. He’d have to wait. He was supposed to be meeting Subaru when he got back, but he really didn’t feel like showing up with an obvious boner. He’d simply have to be late, not that this boner was giving him much choice. He couldn’t even shift his attention away from it. The flush creeping up his skin made the cool air of the train that much more potent. The sweat beading from his chest makes his shirt stick to him, brushing against him more directly. His unhurried, labored breaths only quickened with every twitch. He could feel his mind clouding, slowly succumbing to the pleasant sensations, and small, soft moans escaping his lips. He keens once, feeling his cock reach full mast and form a tent, desperate as he was for release. He shakes his head, gritting his teeth and curling his hands into fists. He was not going to jack off on this train.
He sits back upright, panting, certain his bangs were sticking to his forehead. Finally, the train makes an announcement. “Now arriving at Darwick Academy…” Haku sighs with relief, beyond ready to march back to his dorm room. He’s on his feet before the train even stops, driven blind by a need for release. He squeezes his thighs together, waiting at the door for the train to stop, shakily texting Subaru that he’d be late.
Zenji Kotodama: Pass (Unintentionally)
He didn’t even realize it was NNN, man. To him, it was purposely abstaining from it to fuel his inspiration. Like hunger and thirst, certain sensations do go away or are dulled when you die, but intense emotions remain… desire being one of them.
It’s harder than you’d think for a ghost to find some alone time. He’d finally finished composing his newest tune to play on his biwa, and wanted nothing more than to retreat to his own world. His newest tune had been about desire, something he felt so frequently as a ghost. A desire to live, a desire to be, a desire to connect with those around him. He also felt himself longing for physical pleasures, too. He can touch anything he wants… so long as it isn’t a living person. He just passes right through them. Thankfully, his dormmates that could see him do opt to pretend he can, but he wants to feel. He wants to touch. He wants to connect.
Unfortunately, until that day dawned, he’d have to settle for himself, his beloved doll, and everything else.
He’d left both the doll and his biwa out on one of Hotarubi’s may balconies, to watch the rain and the koi fish swimming in the ponds. Since Subaru knew he was “here”, he’d graciously allowed Zenji to keep a room, which he hardly uses, but is grateful for anyway. It is here that he retreats, letting the desire to touch brew into a boil. He grunts, dissatisfied, as he stalks to his bed, plopping his back onto the pillowy sheets. He groans, sinking into the bed. Despite his complicated mix of emotions, he still feels his arousal stir, feeling himself swell with the desire to touch, or be touched. He presses his lips into a thin line, welcoming the warmth as it swallows him whole. His cheeks flush and soft moans escape his lips as he imagines how it must feel; hands gently caressing his body, starting with his cheeks, then moving to his neck, gently trailing their nails across his sensitive skin, splaying their fingers wide on his chest, pressing them down hard as they pass over his nipples, moving lower, and lower, and lower… Zenji finds himself arcing into the imaginary touch, his dick twitching as though it were real. He shivers, following the insistent demand of his lower body and letting his hands trail further down his own body, hooking his thumb over his pants and tugging them down.
It isn’t long before he’s stroking his length, his desire taking hold of him completely. He throws his head back on the bed as he gently strokes himself, imagining someone else is teasing his length, taking slower strokes until they are satisfied. Zenji groans and begins thrusting into his hand, curling it tighter around his shaft. He traces his body with his other hand, touching and teasing all the places he’d like to be touched. He moans in tandem with each touch and thrust into his hand, feeling his peak reach him rapidly. He curls his free hand into his shirt as he cums, spurting his mess onto his hand and thighs. He turns his gaze down to his hand as he gently squeezes the last few drops out of himself. He’d have to keep settling for this.
a/n: caught my ass genuinely drooling as i was writing haku's part man im cooked. like!!! haku!! come to the old chapel... i'll totally give u head brew u some tea!!!! (tbh either way works he's so cute i just wanna spend time with him)
siiiiighhh anyways note that i appreciate likes, comments, and reblogs!!!! please tell me how much you enjoyed this! it means a lot to know you guys like my writing!
#minors dni#tkdb#tkdb smut#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker smut#tokyo debunker x reader#tokyo debunker hotarubi#hotarubi#haku kusanagi x mc#haku kusanagi x reader#tokyo debunker haku#subaru kagami x mc#tokyo debunker subaru#subaru kagami#subaru kagami x reader#haku kusanagi#zenji kotodama#tokyo debunker zenji#zenji kotodama x reader#zenji kotodama x mc#taro kirisaki#tokyo debunker mc#tokyo debunker taro
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One of things I like about Zuko and Iroh’s relationship is that while no doubt Iroh is the voice of reason to his traumatized, angry and stubborn nephew, when left unsupervised he can be as much of a disaster as Zuko. And sure, Iroh is a wise man, great tactician and a renowned fighter/soldier but the moment Zuko let uncle out of sight, the man ended:
captured by Earth soldiers because he decided to relax in hot bath and fall asleep fully aware they are on enemy land and Earth Kingdom hates Fire Nation (saved by Zuko)
poisoned himself with the flower he wasn’t sure was edible but still decided to make a tea out of it and then was ready to test his luck with another plant he wasn’t again sure about, to save himself from the first problem (Zuko threw it away before something worse could happen)
betrayed their Fire Nation ethnicity when they pretended to be refugees inside Ba Sing Se city because of course Iroh needed to warm up his cold tea (Zuko immediately called out him on this dangerous stupidity; Jet unfortunately noticed the steam from now hot tea what lead to his and Zuko fight later)
with honorable mention
of Zuko being the voice of reason telling Iroh he can’t take all the pretty shells and other unnecessary stuff because they are carrying their own baggages on their backs now
and Iroh spending who knows how much money on things that he found on sales even though he was supposed to buy himself only White Lotus pawn (and I’m still not sure if the money was part of Zuko’s ship budget or just Iroh’s own saving).
The thing I love about their dynamic is that yes, uncle Iroh is the voice of reason in the emotional struggles of Zuko (and as much a source of his frustration with all the proverbs), but Zuko too is the voice of reason when it comes down to Iroh indulging himself with things he finds pretty or comforting while totally ignoring the obvious danger or impracticality that would slow them down/burden in their journal. And I really really appreciate that Zuko is not less important to Iroh’s survival & safety than Iroh is to his and that their relationship is not one sided “wise mentor and hot-headed, stubborn student” because they both may drive each other crazy at times, and have different sense of comfort and safety but they will make sure the other is safe as sound as much as possible. And Zuko is not the only one that gets into trouble due to not thinking well about his actions.
#atla#avatar: the last airbender#zuko#uncle iroh#zuko & iroh#are so special to me#they may share one brain cell and for most time iroh has it no question about that#but when it comes to be practical and careful zuko may as well take and use that one braincell of theirs XD#and the most funny thing is that it is hard to be sure how much iroh's “stupidy” is done on purpose and how much it is just him being him#sokka is the comedic gold for gaang but iroh and zuko are comedic duo for the whole fire nation side XD
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just saw another one of those "gif makers ere essential to society" esque posts and it has 18k notes 💀🤘 (8k rbs, 10k likes)
#if im being honest i dont care that much for myself but it's a part of a bigger issue#im pretty sure 99% of us do this for fun/for free so it's not like we're living off of rbs but but it's common courtesy to acknowledge#someone's hard work w a rb#and on a site with little algorithm it's crucial to spread things that you like#not saying to rb every single gifset u see regardless of the fandom or if u like it but definitely do rb things u like. tags are icing on#the cake but not required tbh. but i do really like them <3 i read every tag#i try to reply to people with funny tags. it makes tumblr more fun for everyone bc of the engagement (like... remember booping? and how muc#fun we had?)#i think im preaching to the choir atp or am just saying common knowledge but i just think it's a little funny yet again one of those all#hail gifmaker posts are being spread around... while most of us are dying likely due to decreased engagement anyway#apple lady words
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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(drags hand down face) When there's Christian proselytizing blazed on the dash...
#ink thinks#christianity mention#the thing is this one is just. sad to me?#like ive had some in the past that are just outright hateful#this one though... this one is less outright and just strikes me as someone who like.#can't bear the thought of losing out on the relationships they've had their entire life?#fuck man i just. i spent so much of my time at church in my last months of going just. miserable.#that part of my family wanted me to be something i'm not. and they tried so damn hard to push me into that shape#yet i often wonder what would have happened to me if i didn't have my mom's non-religious perspective on the world#would i have cracked under the pressure of needing my family and forced myself to be a perfect cookie cutter mormon?#i sure spent most of my last years w/my dad doing everything i could to keep up appearances while i was there#idk man. i hope that poster takes some time to reflect. bc it really does sound like someone doing this#bc if they don't then the people that have always loved them will love them less. maybe even stop loving them.#and also god i hope they realize how much internalized homophobia and transphobia they have christ almighty#...so funny of me to use christian exclamations while complaining abt christianity. anyways
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*screenshots the highlights of my youtube to mp3 downloads folder as if it were some fancy aesthetic spotify wrapped image or whatever*
#I don't know how spotify works I'm not sure how the images people share are actually generated but you know what I mean lol#Though I do wish the native windows music player thing kept track of like.. how many times you listened to a song or something#merely because I think it would be really funny for me since I'm very much a like 'listen to the same 3 songs on rotation for literally#4 months at a time. then eventually rotate in another few songs to replace those. never revisit any of them again' type person#And like most media I have a lot of trouble connecting with music or ascribing it the same deep meaning that most other people seem to get o#ut of it like. I think maybe it has something to do with my emotional range in general being very shallow (I am neutral 90% of the#time and even when I'm not I just don't feel things very strongly. when I do feel antyhing it's weak fleeting emotions usuually that#I don't even remember a few days from then. You know how babies don't have object permanence? It's like I don't have emotional permanence lo#l. Which is probably standard for like. severe childhood neglect situations where nobody was around for you to mirror their#emotions in early childhood or whatever usually happens when people are being raised. Like if nobody was there to encourage the development#of emotions and show what those look like then maybe your brain just doesn't develop them properly or etc. etc. ANYWAY gjhjhb)#I think maybe that has somehting to do with why it's just really hard for me to care about media of all kinds - and even when I do it's not#very deep. Also probably why I've never really been in a fandom or gone to a concert or been really into anything like that. Because people#form deep emotional connections and memories and attachments to their favorite media and I just like... don't#I can still like things!! But it's always in a more like.. intellectual kind of cognitive way if that makes sense? Like if I liked a TV show#it would never be becaise I find the message heartwarming or the characters relatable or because it made me FEEL something. It would be bec#ause the lore is cool and I like to analyze it. Or I think there's an interesting social dynamic going on which is fun to kind of pick#at the innerworkings of. And if I like a song like.. it's not because This Music Got Me Through A Hard time In My Life or because#I relate deeply to the lyrics or it makes me feel a certain way - it's usually because the overlapping of instruments or thetones that are#used interests me or there's something intruguing or cool about it to hear. Part of why I like classical or choir music is that there's oft#en so many instruments playing over each other it's like a little puzzle to try and hear each part seperately or etc. etc.#Which isn't to say that I can NEVER relate to or feel some sort of attachement or idea related to a piece of media. but just that it's not#ever very strong. like not powerful enough to be some significant motivator or pivotal aspect of my personality or etc.#BUT ANYWAY. I still can like things to a degree probably not just the same exact way as others lol.#So I rarely even listen to music that often (maybe once a week or so? I'll listen to like one song or two. but I'm not like a 'have music on#in the background playing in the house all the time' or 'listen to music while I get ready' type) but when I do it's very repetitive. I do#think it would be interesting to see the statistics then lol. I thought windows media player used to track statistics so I wonder why the#'updated' version of that on windows 10 doesnt??? Maybe bc they assume everyone is using streaming services instead? stinky#I don;t think the built in music player on my phone tracks anything either. It's more of just a file accessor or something. hmmgbb#That alone will never convince me to actually use some service to get music though lol. I don't need the statistics. yttmp3 for life babey
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Looking back through the HIdden Strife stuff and I have to wonder
In A Letter in Beautiful Handwriting (VII), Kaeya tells Diluc 'The Grand Master has assigned the Cavalry Company to this mission. As such, I will be paying you a visit in three days.' And I can't help laughing my ass off at how SALTY Kaeya is to be left without an actual Cavalry Company
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//This letter also leads to some Intriguing things when it mrompted me to check back up on Varka's letter#//Bc by Varka's letters; it seems he was already AWAY from Mond when Crepus' death and the fight between Kae'n Luc happened#//Which is super interesting to me#//So; you're telling me; he took EVERYONE except those two???#//Errbody EXCEPT Crepus' boys???#//WHY; Varka#//WHY did you do that?#//Was it their ages? But then why did MIKA go? Did Varka want them to be able to celebrate Luc's birthday with Crepus??#//Optimistic part of me wants to say 'Bc he left Jean in charge & knew those two of errbody in Mond would help her manage things most'#//But then that makes me sad over kae being the only Cavalryman left#//Bc there were supposed to be TWO#//TWO; and then he had to go & ruin everything; even tell Luc himself to go ahead & leave Mond before anyone can stop him afterward#//Bro must have been hardcore REELING after that#//You ever think Luc feels so conscious of that too?#//Hears ppl talking abt Kae being the lone Cavalryman left in Mond; & feels guilty abt leaving him behind like that#//And that feeling just warring with his thoughts that No; he NEEDED to go. He couldn't just STAY#//Be it to avenge Crepus; bc he needed space from Kae; bc KAE needed space from HIM#//Only now that space had grown TOO much; & they don't know how to bridge it too well#//Though damned Luc will be if he doesn't try; from the looks of things#//I find that funny#//Kae does want to too; we know that bc mans was clinging to those TCG cards; plus each mention he wants to help luc in his letters#//But it's Luc who's going through actively trying to; keeping said letters; giving Kae opportunities to come back; YEAH#//Fuck; I went WAY off course#//Anywho; I think it's so silly that Kae bitched to Luc of all ppl abt the Cavalry mess#//I bet Luc must have laughed so hard at that; even through a pang of guilt. All fond & amused like 'Yup; that's the Kaeya I remember'#//The fact that Kae made sure to keep Luc updated on everything in Mond he could bc he prolly Knew Luc worried while he was gone tho ;-;
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I've been passively watching an isat playthrough while twiddling my thumbs in my current oni save as I wait for my new power systems to be done and hey guys. I think one of these bitches is aromantic. Why did no one tell me one of these bitches is aromantic I would have played the game myself if I knew that
#rat rambles#ok tbf I still theoretically Could but I dont think Id survive playing through the like first 6 hours of the stuff Ive already seen#anyways current review is that it's rly well written so far and I like how well the worldbuilding is implemented naturally in the dialogue#having odile be a presumably anthropologist or smth along those lines does wonders for this ofc but even with that its amazing how#natural the party feels when discussing their different cultures#and ofc I am staring at mirabelle hard. this game is clearly not shying away in the slightest from queer topics so. blinks oh so sweetly#I am sooooo fucking desperate for canonically aro characters who are actually written to be aro if she talks abt it at all I Will cry#honestly real con of this is that its making me conceptualize an eternal gales au which is not what I should be thinking abt this early#also its a problem because Im pretty dead set on the idea that aris would be sif and that means tali is off limits#which is unfortunate because I think itd be funny to make her mirabelle on the sole basis of her maybe being aro#otherwise the assignments are pretty easy even if some of them would be looser fits than others based on my current knowledge#mase would be odile fydd would be bonnie and sier would be iz#for mira Im thinking if I wanted to get funky with it then maybe bloom? it doesnt effect sier too much since I can just make it so his mom#was the one frozen in time or smth#now bloom is rly only in the running because of the leftover human kids shes somehow the best choice despite being 9 years old lol#dodie is off the table since I try to practice restraint when using dodie in aus#and the snake triplets are well. the snake triplets.#they have about a billion things that makes them hard to fit into any au#now I could use a stalien instead but thats a Really hard choice for me to make given the rest of the selected cast#plus none of them actually fit that much better than bloom would tbh?#like to be clear basically the only thing keeping bloom from being an easy pick is that shes 9#like I could just do it anyways but I should probably wait a lil bit to make sure mira doesnt pull out some crazy shit to change my mind#based on what I do know the only one thats rly a bit of a stretch is sier but Im ok with that I can just slap a different character arc in#rly most fucked up thing abt this cast is that aris our sif is second tallest#which feels deeply wrong to me especially once you consider the hat#her siouette is going to be all fucked up and different from sif's shes going to be so big compared to them#shes not even That tall shes like 5'8 thats just tall compared to most of her companions#in canon shes the third tallest of the friend group and second tallest not counting dodie#so its mase then her and in this hypothetical au the rest of the garden gnome squad#sier is 5'1 fydd is 5 flat and bloom is 4'9 if Im remembering correctly
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#i feel like im choking which is funny because i might#i am afraid of failing mostly really only because i want life to end most of all#i look around and see nothing that brings any sense of reason to stay other than the fear of being paralyzed with no one to help#ironically part of why i want everything to cease is why im scared of trying#i fear people and i fear not having them too because healthcare is expensive and what if all i need is someone to drive me but i have no on#what if all i need is to have a few people to talk to but there is no one i can tolerate#i feel like i need a proper device for that which requires moving far as fuck and i DONT NETWORK I DONT SOCIALIZE WELL#why is the human body not straightforward at all like why do some ppl thrash and others dont why do some feel fear and others peace wtf#what if i fucking thrash too much and then i need to observe the rest of the life i hate through the lense of a mostly dead one#i dont care about anything beyond that but im fucking livid about it being so hard. i need the thing..... the proper thing man i NEED one#this needs to be done properly and since i dont have a lovely fucking proper ass drop device im not fucking sure how to instinct-proof it#i cant believe i may move for this but i might need to move anyway so what difference if it's 1 or 3 hours i still wont know anyone
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100% Whipped : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris
summary: lando is happy to do just about anything for you, which the other drivers are more than happy to remind lando about too
Lando looked around in confusion as sniggers came from around the room, his fellow drivers all looked at him in disbelief, many shaking their heads as he spoke once again.
“There are other things we can talk about,” Max told him, smirking across at Lando opposite him. “We don’t constantly just have to talk about your girlfriend you know.”
Lando’s brows furrowed in confusion as several others nodded in agreement with Max. It was a habit of his, and one he didn’t realise he had either, but the rest of the boys were all too aware of just how much Lando loved to talk about you, to anyone who listened.
They couldn’t help but smile at how fondly Lando spoke of you, the way his smile turned up and his eyes got brighter whenever the conversation was about you. As much as they loved knowing that Lando was happy, they didn’t need telling quite as much as they currently were.
“I don’t just talk about her,” Lando argued, but as the others rolled their eyes, Lando wasn’t quite so confident that he didn’t talk about you as much as they all suggested.
Although he would never admit just how much he adored you, Lando knew that he had been falling hard for you. He loved to gush about you and make sure that everyone else got to see what he saw in you, how kind, caring and funny you were.
The rest of the paddock knew that anyway, but Lando liked to make extra sure that was the case with all of his stories about you.
“Every time she’s not at a race you sit and complain that she’s not there and how much you need her,” Oscar spoke up, “she’s all we talk about on a race weekend.”
“Or when she is there, you refuse to let her out of your sight because you want to make sure that she’s alright,” George added, smirking across at Lando, “you don’t let her lift a finger.”
More and more stories came out as the boys all interjected with the moments that they’d experienced with Lando, seeing firsthand just how in love with you he was.
“I’m just being a good boyfriend,” Lando tried to argue once they eventually fell silent, but even Lando was beginning to realise that he went above and beyond, constantly.
“I think you know how she’s going to spend her day better than she does,” Daniel responded, unable to hold back his laughter. “You used to tell me every day exactly what she was up to, almost as if you knew where she was minute by minute.”
“Really?” Lando asked in surprise, not realising quite how much attention to detail he paid when it came to what you were doing.
“You don’t even realise that you’re doing it half the time.”
Lando’s stature shrunk, sinking down in his seat. “I promise that I’m not as whipped as you guys all probably think I am, it’s not that bad.”
“You are,” Carlos stated, sending Lando a knowing look, “but I guess most of the time it is quite sweet.”
“Aside from the fact that you make the rest of us look like terrible boyfriends,” Charles added.
Lando struggled to hold back his smile, although it wasn’t a competition, he knew that the two of you were a popular couple around the paddock. He felt like he was the standard, showing the others how to take care of your girlfriend properly and not care about what anyone else had to say about it.
“I wonder if she realises how whipped you are for her or whether she’s just used to it all by now,” Oscar spoke up, looking pensively across at Lando.
“I think Y/N is just as whipped for him as Lando is for her,” Daniel very quickly argued, “you should’ve heard some of the conversations we had about him when I was on the team.”
A smile emerged on Lando’s face as some of the boys nodded in agreement again. They were used to listening to you talk about Lando just as much, talking through how amazing his races were time after time as if they hadn’t been there to experience it themselves.
“Would you guys like me to stop talking about Y/N so much?” Lando asked them all.
The group felt quite guilty as Lando stared seriously across at them all. They all knew that he meant it, glancing between themselves as their heads all shook back across at him.
“We’re only messing with you buddy,” George assured him, tapping against his shoulders, “maybe we just don’t need to know every single last detail about her.”
Lando nodded, smiling back across at George. “I’m sure I can tone it down a little bit, the last thing I need is you guys all thinking that I’m whipped.”
“Mate, we all definitely know that you are though.”
He could try to deny it all he wanted, but the boys all knew what he was like. It was something in him that they were never going to change, but as such a popular member of the team, it meant a lot to all of them to see how happy he was with you.
“Don’t even try and deny it,” Max called out as Lando went to speak again, “wear it with pride, some people would kill to have the sort of relationship that the two of you have.”
“Do you really think that?”
“Of course,” Max smiled back across at him, “you know we’re always going to find something to tease you about, you’re still very much the baby of the grid to all of us.”
It didn’t matter how old Lando was, the boys were all very protective of him, and as much as they took every chance to make fun of him, they’d never let anyone else say a bad word about him.
“You just continue to do you,” Carlos smiled as he met Lando’s eyes, “some of these guys are never going to even get a girlfriend, so at least you’ve got that over them at least.”
“None of you can ever mention this to her,” Lando told them all, “do you know how embarrassed she be knowing that you guys see us as whipped for one another.”
Just like Lando, you were very aware of how whipped he was for you, but if anyone suggested that you were whipped for him, then you would categorically deny it. You knew how much he’d do for you though, savouring the feeling of Lando willingly doing absolutely anything to support you.
“We’ll keep it between us,” Oscar promised him, “unless she keeps stealing the chocolate I keep in the garage for once the races are finished. If that carries on, I’m making no promises.”
“I’ll buy you more,” Lando assured him, “just don’t tell her how whipped I am, or how whipped you guys seem to think that I might be.”
“Just admit it,” Charles laughed, brushing a hand through his hair. “Admit that you’re whipped for her, it’s not like we don’t already know it already.”
“Will you leave me alone if I say it?” Lando asked them all.
“We promise to leave you alone for the rest of the night.”
“Fine, I am 100% whipped for my girlfriend.”
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 reaction#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#lando norris drabble#lando norris x you#lando norris fluff#lando norris x reader#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula one#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 x you#f1 fic
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so fucking angry. why. why did my mum KNOWINGLY treat me worse because she knew some of what I had been through and knew she couldn't fix it. so she minimised everything I felt. ridiculed me for showing any emotion. still does so to this day. but she ADMITTED. that she fucking abused me my entire LIFE, because I was going through so much that my mental health wasn't fixable by her. so she chose to add to my issues? and now she gets fucking upset when I tell her I will never be her fucking friend? that we will never get along? you fucking CAUSED this jo-anne you did this to your fucking SELF.
#want to put this on main but I complain too much there so#aaron#hi my names aaron and ive been here ages but had the most non solid identity ever and I have So Much Trauma hows it fucking going#I'm so fucking exhausted and angry all the time and we can't even get a break now we are 24 this MONTH#cant get over her telling me her reasons for this. her APOLOGISING. then continuing just the same a week later#business as fucking usual.#but if my fucking brothers ~depression~ gets a bit bad she makes sure we All treat him as gentle as fucking possible#she made sure he has never faced adversity. she was the model parent to him his entire life.#she told me I was a lost cause by the time he was born. I was 3 when he was born. so what does she fucking know about that she wont let on#because not many 3 year olds have enough trauma and bad enough mental health to be written off by their mum as a lost fucking cause.#it's funny. me and my brother are both fucked in the real world. him because he's never had to do anything difficult in his life#and me because I'm too messed up to even function anymore. I'd say I'd rather be like him but at least I'm not genuinely fucking stupid#she never pushed him to learn things if it got too hard. just set us both up for failure in different ways really#at least if I ever get out I have the drive to do something with my life. eventually.
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