#and the likelyhood of even less sleep this lovely week | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mustyrosewater · 4 years ago

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𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚. 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.

𝙟𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙖 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ( 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 )

𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵. 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 : 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵, 𝘫𝘢𝘷𝘪 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘺, 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 : 8,189

𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 : 𝘙 18+

if someone were to have told you a year ago that you would not only sleep with, but develop weekly bouts of flirty back and fourth banter with a dea agent, you'd have laughed in their face and told them they weren't thinking straight; now, that was exactly what was happening. had you known that this is was the result of having what you thought was a one night stand, a quick fuck to deal with a stressful week? you would have done it all anyway. it didn't matter, because you were loving every minute of it. it had only started becoming a noticeable routine after the second time javi visited the store. the first time was complete coincidence, you knew that, or at least that was what you were telling yourself. you weren't as stupid as some might think, you knew that since being arrested the dea would have needed to look you up in the system, they would have seen your place of work. hell, they probably knew your full name, your parents name and what high school you went to as well. you were aware that the possibility of javi going to the effort to track you down at your place of work was long shot, but some part of you did secretly the love the idea that he was so struck after your night together that he just had to see you again. ok, now it sounded like one of those cheesy romance movies that were always on tv. the second time that javi had come into the store was hardly coincidence. it had been just under a week since his first surprise visit, along with your flirty back and fourth across the counter and stealing of one of his cigarettes, which still sat snugly by your ashtray at home, ready for when you needed a particularly intense unwind after a hard day. until then, you were sitting in your usual spot on the stool behind the counter, once again scrolling through lifestyle magazines that you cared little for but still read to pass the time. the routine that you were usually so content with was suddenly becoming painfully boring and you knew exactly why. javi's absence was notable each passing day, like a little school girl waiting for the boy she liked you found your head whipping up to the door every single time the electronic jingle of somebody entering filled your ears, with exasperated disappointment each time you looked up to find just another customer and not the man you were looking for. it had gotten to the point that the likelyhood of actually seeing him again was starting to feel less and less. you hated to admit that you'd found yourself wanting to see him again, even if it was only for two minutes to buy the shitty coffee from the machine at the back of the store, just a chance to see his face one more time, even if he didn't say a word to you. as that thought crossed your mind, your brows furrowed as you caught yourself, could you sound more desperate? the last time you were this infatuated with a man, or more so, a boy was with your ex, and that was a man you were so obsessed with you'd moved to columbia with him. you didn't exactly feel like a reminder on how that had ended. you shook your head slowly, shutting your eyes and letting out a sigh, some small attempt at snapping out of the utter trance that man had managed to put you in. the nights spent with you hands between your legs had only worsened since he'd asked you if you'd been a good girl. maybe the reason he hadn't returned had been your reply, should you have said yes? been complacent? he certainly hadn't had a problem with that two weeks ago when you were sucking his di- the bell went off once more, causing your own thoughts to be cut off. this time, unlike practically every other time someone had entered, you didn't look up, simply kept your eyes glued to the magazine in front of you. starting today you were going to get javi out of your head; he'd obviously made it clear that this was a one time thing to him, and if that was the case, it was going to be a one time thing to you as well. neither of you had even stated whether or not it was supposed to be a one time thing. stupid, you thought to yourself, he was an agent fucking someone he arrested, of course it was a one time thing, how could you have been so blind. this thought caused you to let out another sigh, much louder and more noticeable than you would have preferred. you let the magazine fall from your hands a land onto the counter with a soft thud, leaning your head forward and shutting your eyes, resting your forehead on your palms. "if that's the reaction i get i can leave." if your head shot up any quicker, you're fairly certain that you may have broken your neck. standing just a few meters away from the counter, hands on hips and aviators tilted slightly down his hooked nose, was javi. it was as if the universe was trying to play a cruel joke on you, just as you had begun convincing yourself that it was not worth it to obsess over this man, here he was, as if the very mention of forgetting him had called him to you. "javi." was all you could manage to breathe out in your state of mild shock. if he saw how much surprise his presence had caused you, he certainly didn't show it. he still looked as relaxed as ever as he strolled up to the counter and laid one of his hands on it flatly, leaning down ever so slightly to make sure you could hear him. "just a pack of cigarettes." you were almost insulted, he didn't even ask how you knew his name, he'd never told you and yet you knew. of course, it was his partner that hold told you in the first place, but he didn't know that. he wasn't even the slightest bit curious as to how you knew his name. if that's how he was going to be, you could give it back just as much. maybe you were being stupid, maybe you just needed to remember that just minutes ago you were reassuring yourself that it was a casual hook up and nothing else, he didn't owe you anything. but then why would he flirt with you last week? could you have even called what the two of you did flirting? hardly. you say nothing as you take your sweet time getting up from the stool, making sure to pull it out and make a loud dragging sound as you do. turning to the shelf of cigarette boxes, you stare at them for a few moments, hoping he remembers that you know exactly which kinds he smokes. "which kind?" you ask, still not facing him, partly so that you can really rub it in but mainly so that he can't see the smug grin that has befallen your face, you were already having fun. you want to turn around to see his expression so badly, but you know that you have to let this sizzle, wait and see if he catches on to the game you're playing. he seems to pause before telling you the brand and specific type, of course, you already knew. if it were even possible at that point, you go even slower to reach for the box, twirling it around in your hands and inspecting the label, reading it quietly to yourself. you pause once more, basking in the silence and the annoyance you must be causing him. if anything, this was payback. "these ones?" you finally ask, holding them up so that he can see the box but still not facing him. you hear him take a shark intake of breathe and feel your grin grow, knowing that you had him now, all of his attention was on you. "yes. those ones." he repeats your words back to you. you can hear the edges of a mocking tone to the way he repeats your own words, almost mimicking the way you said it. finally turning to face him, you don't bother hiding your satisfied smirk, knowing you'd managed to struck a nerve with him made you feel so in control, giving him a taste of his own medicine filled you with satisfaction. and the best part was that you weren't even close to finished with him. for a brief moment, some small part of you, the part that was rationalizing this all out in your head, questioned whether or not it was right to keep tormenting him. maybe you should just hand him his cigarettes and let him leave. it wasn't like he owed you anything, he was probably busy as well. unfortunately for you, that small part was quickly snuffed out by the memory of the sheer amount of times he'd been in your fantasies, the amount of times he'd filled your mind with images of him doing downright sinful things to you, things that could give your catholic madre a stroke. that was the part that quickly gained control over your thought process. scanning the box of cigarettes with a soft beep, you repeated the price to him, the same price they'd been since last time, probably the same price they'd continue to be for years to come. as he reached behind him to grab his wallet, your curled your nails under the plastic and ripped it open without hesitation, taking extra care to make sure it was audible enough for him to pick up on. watching his expression, you almost missed the ghost of a smirk that came across the corners of his lips when he heard the sound of the plastic, almost like he was expecting you to open the packet right in front of him, purely just to spite him. oh, now you were committed. you didn't even look away from him as you opened the packet and used your fingertips to pull out a single cigarette. as you did so, he finally looked up from his wallet and made direct eye contact with you through his aviators. just as they were before, his eyes resembled that of a lion watching over an antelope in the sahara, a predator, looking at its prey. only this time it was different, this was a lion staring down a lioness, one that he could try his hardest to tame, but more likely than not wouldn't be able to. tucking the cigarette into the same spot as last time, your front pocket, you gave him a devilish smirk. your intentions of pushing his buttons were made clear, this was done out of pure spite and an attempt to keep his attention. maybe even a your own little way of keeping him on his toes. "can i ask what the tax is for this time?" when he finally spoke after a tense bout of silence, his voice was low and his attention was focused on you and you only. just the way you wanted it. in your haste to actually open the box and take out one of his cigarettes, you hadn't actually been able to devise a witty comeback. what was this one for? capturing your bottom lip in your teeth, you let your eyes rake over his figure as you rested your forearms on the counter, leaning forward. all this while making no attempt to hide that you were mentally undressing him right there. there was no need to hide that sort of behavior seeing as he'd already fucked the daylights out of you. deciding to be completely truthful, you simply admitted it right then and there. "no reason." you shrugged, tilting your head as you finally regained eye contact with him. he didn't seem to care for your answer either way, if anything, he seemed to impressed that you were willing to admit that there really was no reason for taking the cigarette other than the purpose of getting under his skin. maybe he was used to most women playing coy and finding excuses to garner his attention, you wouldn't know. what you did know was that whether or not it had been due to your answer, javi was now leaning against the counter, his face growing ever closer to yours until you could smell the traces of spearmint gum on his breath. he was so close that you could note every nook and cranny in his slightly aged face that still looked so handsome it was practically criminal. whether it was the sex, or his ability to keep you on your toes every minute spent in his presence, you weren't sure why, but you were absolutely infatuated with this man. every single time your mind would begin to forget about him, he returned to your thoughts, invading your mind practically every minute of every day. so much so that you both loved and hated it. did he know how downright crazy he was making you? did he realize that the mere scent of his cheap cologne was enough to make you weak at the knees? if he did know, he certainly didn't show it. whether or not that was the result of him being clueless or humble you weren't sure. everything about him left you in shambles, the way he carried himself, the way he spoke, especially to you; everything he did was like walking sex and he may not have even known it. you had been so caught up in your own train of thought that you hadn't even noticed the fact that you could feel his heavy breaths falling directly on your lips, your faces were now so close together that you could see the golden flecks littering his dark eyes, you were able to concentrate on the way his pupils dilated. you were so close it was intoxicating. you weren't exactly sure what your thought process was, but giving him the satisfaction of your lips touching felt too easy. for a brief moment there you forgot that you were even playing a game, a game that you desperately needed to win. so you waited, refusing to move your head in the slightest, you simply held yourself in place, waiting oh so patiently for him to make the next move. it seemed that patience was not a virtue for javi, who was only able to wait for a few moments longer before moving his head forward in an attempt to place his lips on yours. you moved your head back quicker than you realized you were capable of and turned your head to the side in the process, quickly managing to thwart his attempt at kissing you. the sound that he let out went straight to your core, causing you to take a sharp intake of breath. the sound that he'd made was practically animalistic, the sound derived from pure instinct and need. you knew then and there that you'd captured him in your web. that had been just over a week ago now, at the time, he'd left without another word, only exchanging another smirk with you before taking his cigarettes and leaving. you had to admit, you were incredibly satisfied with your work. since that day he had returned twice, each time continuing your routine of him buying a packet of cigarettes and allowing you to steal one. it had become more than a game at this point, even by your standards you were growing more and more impatient with both him and yourself. where was this even leading? was he going to do something eventually? make some sort of move? or was it all up to you? he’d spent one day getting you so worked up that you needed to go home and smoke one of the stolen cigarettes. you had your own packet, but it was something about smoking his that calmed you even more than yours regularly would, maybe it was the knowledge that you’d taken them from him, or the emotions you connected with stealing them, either way, it always left you in a state of bliss when you smoked one of them. his visits became more and more frequent, with you and javi finding more and more ways to torture one another. you were particularly proud of what you’d come up with on this day. after finding a particularly low cut shirt from the market earlier that week, you bought it without hesitation and were now wearing it to work, taking extra care to put on one of your more expensive bra’s. you’d even made a bit more effort with your appearance in general, wearing a pair of small hooped earrings that your madre had sent you for your birthday. the day went by painfully slowly, every single time somebody came through the entrance doors, your head was shooting up to see who was coming inside and each time, it wasn’t javi. for the first few hours you were able to hide you growing worry, this was one the days he came in every week, he hadn’t let you down so far. By the time the six or seventh hour of your shift rolled around, it became increasingly difficult not to seem upset by javi’s absence. One of the sweet old ladies that came in every few days to get cat food and a jar of coffee had actually noticed and asked why you seemed so upset. Despite reassuring her that you were fine, she was easily able to see through your lie and forced you to fess up. you explained how you’d made yourself pretty for a man who always came in on this day and that he still hadn’t shown up. She quickly reassured you that was sure it was going to fine, but not before taking the time to reminisce about when she would make herself pretty for the boy who lived down her street. You always enjoyed her company, a friendly little abuela who barely even reached your shoulder and always had some sage advice about life. now you were back on the stool behind the counter, chin resting snugly on your hand as your gaze shifted to the small digital clock on the wall, displaying the time in neon red numbers. numbers that read the time, which had just clocked around to 11:23 pm. You almost felt like you were going to cry upon the realisation that you close in less than fourty minutes. Almost twelve hours had gone by and not once had javi appeared, you’d made such an effort for nothing. as you sat there, you began to realize how stupid it actually was to be getting upset about this. the man was a dea agent, of course he was busy, it wasn’t like the two of you had agreed on a set time for him to show up or anything. you mentally kicked yourself as you sat there and let out a tired sigh, you suddenly felt so pathetic, more pathetic than the day you spent sitting in your room with tears streaming down your face after kicking your ex out. You were able to fight back the first few tears that you’d felt burning on your eyes, but after that first round, the second one hit you just as hard and within seconds you felt the tears sliding down your cheeks. not wanting to risk the embarrassment of your boss or worse, a customer, seeing you cry, you stood up suddenly and walked into the bathroom, trying your hardest not to slam the door behind you. as you stared at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help but cringe, the t shirt that had made you feel so confident before had now left you feeling self conscious and wishing that your vest covered more of your chest, the hoop earrings that you had left home adoring now made you feel trashy. and worst of all, the small streams of mascara running down your cheeks made you feel beyond messy. frantically ripping a few paper towels from the dispenser, you rinsed them and wiped off the small amount of makeup you’d put on that morning, leaving you bare faced with red puffy eyes. at least the rest of your face being red from the scrubbing had seemed to hide the fact that you’d bee crying. your hair that had been left out all day was now getting in your face and annoying you, so you instead chose to tie it up in a loose ponytail, leaving a few wisps of it to hang around your face. letting out one last shaky sigh, you dried your face off and left the bathroom, willing yourself to forget about this day as soon as possible. no, willing yourself to forget about javi as soon as possible. you weren’t just upset, you were disappointed, in yourself, you’d let a man take over your life again, hell, the whole reason you were even in Columbia in the first place was because you’d let yourself become utterly whipped by a man; and like. An idiot, you’d let it happen all over again, had you even learnt your lesson? now you were paying the price for being so stupid. just as you’d sat back down on the stool and managed to get your breathing back to a regular pace that was no longer shaky, your boss poked his head out of the back room and looked across from you. ”hey chica, you al good to close by yourself tonight?” You knew he wasn’t really asking, this was just his way of kindly telling you that he was going home and that you would have to close, you’d learnt that very quickly when you first started working there. nodding your head, you gave him a small wave and wished him a goodnight, telling him you’d seen him tomorrow. now here you were, bored out of your mind and still upset, waiting for the last ten minutes before you could finally lock the doors and leave for the night. the only thing you were able to do to pass the time was rearranging the cigarette boxes that had been misplaced by your boss countless times. As you rearranged the smal boxes, you picked up a box without even thinking and caught sight of the packaging, realizing that they were the kind that javi bought. you couldn’t help but feel bitter as you stared at the box of cigarettes in your had, you could physically feel your heart rate speeding up as your breathing became shaky. Less then twenty minutes after finally calming down, you had suddenly been just as upset as before, if not more. you weren’t a hundred percent sure if you held any ill will towards javi himself, he hadn’t done anything objectively wrong other than just not showing up when he’d given you little reason to believe he even would in the first place. If anything, you were the wrong party in this scenario, and it only upset you more. what you realised you truly felt was disappointment, in yourself, for letting thoughts of a man you’d slept with a whopping tota of one time fill your head for weeks, for getting utterly hypnotised by somebody you’d had a quick fuck with, you hadn’t felt this pathetic for so long it almost felt completely foreign. standing from the stool, you walk around the counter and towards the sliding door where you slip the open sign to instead read closed. You turned it over a minute early, but if somebody was willing to try and show up one minute until closing, you wouldn’t want to serve that type of person. turning away from the door, you begin walking back to the counter when you hear a car pulling up to the store. Letting out a long and annoyed sigh, you silently pray that whoever it was would just pay attention to the ‘closed’ sign and be on their way, you really didn’t feel like dealing an annoying customer. hoping to avoid any sort of interaction, you walk behind a stack of shelves and stand there, hoping that this person would see nobody was around and decide it wasn’t worth trying to get service. whoever you were praying to was obviously not listening, because less than a minute after you retreated behind the shelf, you heard the electric chime do the door sliding open and immeadiately hung you head forward and let out a heavy sigh of deep annoyance. “we’re closed.” You said loudly, not bothering to hide your tone of voice, you were in no mood to make acceptions and we’re good tired to even attempt keeping your customer service voice on. rather than being deterred by your tone, whoever had come inside was only walk-in closer to you, you were able to hear the clicking of their shoes getting louder as they approached. deciding to meet them halfway, you began to walk out from behind the shelf. “listen, i said that we-re closed so ju-“ you almost bump into the person in front of you, only making eye contact with their chest at first. The second you look up to see who’s just walked inside, you feel like you want to crumble up and die then and there. Standing in front of you, hands tucked into the pockets of those tight jeans, stands javi. just like last time, the minute you actually begin to be over this man, he appears, as if by magic. It infuriates you. shaking your head, you don’t even say anything, just side step and walk back to the counter “we’re closed.” You repeat. we’re you being petty? probably, you didn’t have the energy to put up with this anymore, you were already remembering crying in the bathroom earlier that day because of this man, you weren’t going to eat it happen again. nothing but flirting for nearly two weeks was enough to drive you insane, somehow miraculously it hadn’t been able. To just yet, and you weren’t going to let it. you weren’t sure whether or not javi was surprised by your response seeing as you refused to even look up at him. Even if you told yourself that you were completely over him, some small part of you knew that there. �� Was still a chance that you’d fall for the charms all over again, and you weren’t going to let that happen all over again, you’d just be back, where you started. out of the the corner of your eye, you could tell that javi was now standing across from you on the other end of the counter, you could see his hand resting flatly against its surface. you weren’t going to let him do that, he would just have to take no for an answer tonight. standing up quickly, you turned and headed for the storage room, quickly unlocking it and heading inside. you didn’t really need anything in here. maybe it was just a way to let javi know you weren’t in the mood for his shit, or maybe it was you running away from him, either way, you didn’t really care so long as you didn’t have to be within five meters of the man. you couldn't help but feel a bit stupid thanks to the fact that you were essentially running away from the man, but his presence sent so many different emotions flooding through you all at one that it was hard to keep a stable train of thought, for this you couldn't help but feel a growing dislike building towards him. maybe that was petty and truly showed your bitterness, you didn't exactly care. as you walked inside the storage room, you reminded yourself to throw out the two cigarettes of his that you had left when you got home, you knew that smoking them would only leave you feeling more hurt, getting rid of them completely was your best chance at making you forget about javi, which was all you wanted to do in this current moment in time. it seemed that despite being a dea agent, javi was unable to take the hints that you didn't want to speak to him and instead followed you to the storage room, leaning in the door frame and watching you began a feeble attempt at making yourself look busy by stacking and rearranging a few boxes, letting out a few small grunts, partly because the boxes were heavy, but mainly using it as an excuse to let out the noises of frustration that couldn't be channeled. you felt his eyes on you the entire time, finding that the longer he stared at you, the more you could feel your frustration bubbling in the pit of your stomach. why couldn't he just leave you alone? could he really not understand that you were upset and obviously didn't want to see him? his stubborness and oblivious nature immediately reminded you of your ex, only leading to you feeling more resentment towards the two men, honestly? all men in general. you couldn't have just been a lesbian couldn't you, no, you had to like men as well. "what do you want javi?" you finally asked, slamming one of the boxes down and turning to face him, finding that he was now only inches away from you. you'd been so wrapped up in your own internal ranting that you hadn't even realized his current proximity towards you. your tone of voice wasn't even as angry as you thought it would come out as, you sounded more tired than anything, almost edges of helplessness to it. this only made you feel more frustrated, the idea that you my have appeared vulnerable was disgusting to you. it was obvious that this was an issue raised by your ex, ever since the day you'd realized you were now alone in columbia, you'd refused any help that was offered to you, even from your parents. that was why you were still here in the first place, to show your ex that you could make it on your own. you'd promised yourself that you weren't going to let another man have that much power over your life ever again, and now here you were, getting the smallest bit of attention from a man and ending up as putty in his hands, you couldn't even keep your own promises. maybe he wasn't so oblivious after all, though it could just be because you snapped at him, but it seemed that javi was finally able to tell that you were upset. tilting his head, he reached up and placed a hand on your upper arm; his touch caused you still your movements almost instantly, within seconds, you'd forgotten what you were trying to do. you refused to look up at him, instead choosing to focus on his chest, staring at the brown buttons of his shirt, some small attempt to regain some of your own dignity. the soft, reassuring squeeze you felt on your upper arm was not helping, if anything, it made you want to wrap your arms around javi's waist and hug him, and yet you remained still. it was only when you felt his thumb graze against your chin that you formed your lips into a thin line, attempting to turn your head to the side only for your chin to be grasped by javi, his fingers digging into your cheeks ever so slightly. the grip he held on your jaw didn't hurt despite how he was holding it, he only used it to force your head back towards him, making you look into his eyes for what you realized was the first time for the entire night. looking into his eyes was the final nail in the coffin for you, as if you hadn't cried in the bathroom about him hours ago, you were once again entranced by this man. and you'd be lying if you said you didn't hate yourself for it. he still hadn't spoken a word to you, all he did was stare you down like a lion. in this moment you were no longer the lioness you'd been trying so hard to be, he was the predator and you were the prey. you were no longer able to deny it. your breathing had become shaky, one of the many ways you were unwillingly showing this man the affect he had on you, the sly bastard probably knew that he made you weak in the knees every time he touched you. "what is this..?" you finally spoke, your voice barely above a whisper, it was all you were physically able to muster without your voice cracking as his head began to lower until his face was only inches from yours. he had become so close that you could feel his breath on your lips. the fact that he didn't reply only served to make you even more desperate, desperate for anything. you weren't even sure yourself what you wanted him to do. kiss you? obviously. hold you? maybe. your eyebrows furrowed as you stared back at him, unblinking. "what do you want from me javi..?" as soon as those words left your mouth, he left little time for anymore words to leave you when his lips were on yours. the kiss was aggressive, far more aggressive than you were prepared for, causing your immediate reaction to be bracing yourself by placing your hands on his broad shoulders. you melted into the kiss instantaneously, pressing your body against javi's, who seemed more than accepting of the physical gesture, returning it by wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off of your own two feet. being suddenly lifted off of the ground caused you to wrap your legs around his waist as he lowered one of his hands palm your ass through your jeans, showing no mercy in squeezing it as he carried you towards the desk in the back of the storage room where records and stationary sat. sitting you down on the desk which immediately began to creak with your added weight, javi finally broke away from the kiss, panting heavily and resting his forehead against your own. its only now that you've gotten the chance to breathe that you realize how much your lungs were burning for air. maybe that was just another symptom of the many affects javi had on you. when he finally speaks, it's like music to your ears. his voice is husky and velvety, almost makes you think it was all worth the wait. "i want you." you're unsure whether or not he means physically or emotionally, hell, even both; but in that moment, you really can't seem to find the energy to care. you both physically and mentally exhausted, and if there was one thing you knew would relieve some of your stress, it was getting fucked silly by the man in front you. you don't say anything in reply, simply grip the back of his head and bring your lips back onto yours, resulting in a low growl to admit from deep within his throat. the sound itself rock you to your core and sends shivers throughout your entire body, a chilling reminder of the effect that he had on you. there is so much just in the way he kisses you, it's reminiscent of a man starved, desperate and full of lust. the way his lips mold against yours feels like two puzzle pieces designed for each other. him grinding himself against you sends waves throughout your entire body, making you shake and whimper. that was the effect he had on you. he utterly destroyed any train of thought you attempted to keep hold of. his fingers manage to weave their way into your hair, barely even giving you time to enjoy the feeling before he grips a fist full of your locks and pulls harshly, breaking the kiss and forcing you to tilt your head back with a small hiss of pain leaving you. as soon as your head is tilted back, his lips trail from your jaw to meet the soft skin of your neck where he immediately begins to suck and nip at it, leaving a painting of small bruises and love bites littering your neck and collar bones. from what you can tell based on his reaction, he appreciates the shirt you were wearing, and takes the time to kiss the top of your breasts roughly, leaving red marks along your cleavage. your eyes have already fluttered closed at this point and your letting out a series of small mewls and whimpers, holding your mouth open and running your fingers through his own dark hair. there is little hesitation when you feel his fingers pulling at the shirt to untuck the bottom of it from your jeans. the moment he free's it he pulls it over your head with little remorse, leaving you there with the bra you had specifically pulled out on display. he seems to take a moment to appreciate the lacy detailing as he pulls at the buttons of his own shirt, ripping it off of his own body and throwing it to the floor with little regard. maybe its because of the fact that you were emotionally drained, or maybe it was because you'd been lusting after him and craving his touch for nearly two weeks, but you want him even more than you did that first night in the police station. your desperation to feel him inside you outweighs anything else in this moment, it's all you can think about. every inch of your body craves his touch and it's enough to drive you insane. you don't have time for foreplay, all you can think about is how much you need him inside you, the two of you could worry about the rest later. reaching down to his waist, you pull at his belt buckle, showing little regard for how to undo the stupid thing, instead only tugging at it until you feel it click open and immediately pull it out of the loops in his jeans, letting it fall to the floor with a loud clang that you pay little mind to. the jeans themselves are just as tight as always, hugging his legs and perfect ass in just the right way. you quickly undo the small golden button at the top and pull down his zipper with shaky hands. within seconds his hands clamp around your wrists and stop your hands from venturing any further. for a few panicked seconds, you think he might be having second thoughts, that he wants to stop. the thought alone is enough to make your heart beat faster if that were even possible. you don't even want to think about how embarrassed you would feel. your worried thoughts are proved wrong when he instead reaches for your own jeans, repeating the process of unbuttoning them. however this time, he curls his fingers around the waistline and tugs harshly, barely even giving you time to lift your hips in order for him to pull them off of your legs. as soon as you legs are freed from within your jeans, javi is back to standing between your legs, once again leaning forward to capture your lips within his own. you can feel his hand travelling further and further down your stomach and find you are unable to stop the small moans from leaving your throat already, just the sheer proximity of his hand and your core as you aching for his touch. when his hand finally slips past the seam of your panties, you can't stop yourself from grinding against his hand and letting out what you think is the most desperate little mewl you've ever head leave your own body. his fingers trailing through your folds feels like pure heaven and you can tell by the sound emitting from between your legs that you are already soaked. "this all for me?" he grunts against your lips, starting his slow torture of massaging slow circles against your clit as you grind against his hand. the sheer desperation you feel for him has even you taken aback and yet not exactly surprised, you'd imagined him taking you every which way so many times, the fact that it was actually happening again was obviously causing you to be just a little bit eager. for a brief moment, you wonder if you're dreaming; that any minute now you were going to wake up and find that you're laying in bed, completely soaked between your legs and needing to take care of the problem yourself. you tell yourself that that isn't the case, that this all feels so real that i couldn't possibly be a dream. you're broken from your thoughts by the growl that leaves your throat, finding that you've gripped javi's wrist tightly, stopping his movements. within seconds, your eyes are staring into his and the look on each of your faces portrays exactly what the other is thinking. "please javi..." you breathe, taking note of the way your chest rises and falls with deep panting. "i need you." you finally whisper. your words seem to light a fire within him, because the next thing you know, javi has pulled his own jeans further down and is now fishing his cock out from within his boxers, hard and ready. you can't help but look down at it and let your teeth find your bottom lip as memories of sucking it through a jail cell fill your mind. now, all you can focus on is how much you want it buried inside you. quickly reaching down to pull your panties off, you can't even be bothered to unhook your other leg from the hole, instead letting them hang slightly past your knee as you spread your legs for him, reaching down and using your fingers to feel your on wetness, taking care to make sure you were ready for him to enter you. he hardly even bothers to line himself up before he slipping inside of you effortlessly. the stretching feeling of his cock inside you is enough to make you tilt your head back and cry out, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you. his movements are slow for the first few thrusts, only in order to establish a basic rhythm that the two of you are able to get used to. as soon as that is established his speed quickens rapidly and his thrusts only get harder, slamming into you with little to no remorse, desperate to chase after the release that you both crave more than anything. his grunts and groans are music to your ears, even just the sounds he's making is enough to send tremors through your body. "been waiting...all week...to have my cock inside this..god..perfect little pussy.." the words he's growling into your ear are downright pornographic, the things he says are so filled with lust and his tone of low and breathy, its intoxicating. his own words are quickly muffled when he buries his head into the crook of your neck, his breathe hot and heavy against your now sweat slicked skin as he continues to thrust into you even harder if that were even possible. your hands have once again managed to find themselves buried in his hair, your fingers curling to tug on it harshly, resulting in javi growling against your skin. "such a good little girl, always taking your papi's cock so well.." the words themselves catch you off guard for about half a second, but the reaction they cause your body to have is enough to ignore any and all surprise caused by his dirty talk. "fuck, papi. please don't stop." the words flow out of you naturally, there is no embarrassment caused by the names, it only makes you feel more alive. you'd never used those sorts of words during sex before, though you were now wondering why you never did. arching your back, you feel him begin to hit that one spot inside you that has you seeing stars, stroking it to perfect with the head of his cock. "fuck, right there, papi, please.." you manage to choke out, shutting your eyes again and wrapping your legs around his waist in order to keep his concentration on that one spot. "say my name.." he's able to breathe out against your collar. you quickly comply, leaning your head down lightly to whimper his name into his ear; as soon as you do, his thrusts get noticeably more rougher. one of his hands reaches from around your back to place itself flatly against your chest, pushing you down until your back is flat against the desk, which is now creaking audibly and rocking back and fourth with javi's thrusts. before you can even focus on the thought of breaking the desk, you can feel javi's fingers curling delicately around your throat and begin to place light pressure on it as he squeezes softly in order to test the waters. you give him confirmation by reaching up with your own hand and squeezing his wrist softly, your small sign of encouragement. that is all it takes to motivate javi to apply more pressure. hastily adding more until he is choking you fully. the lightheadedness you slowly begin to feel creeping up on you is what finally sends you over the edge; you tighten around him suddenly and arch your back, letting out a cry mixed with what you assume is a whimper as you cum around his cock which is still pumping in and out of you brutally, showing no signs of letting up. while riding out your high, you whimper out his name several more times which causes javi's thrusts to turn into glorified ruts as he lets out his own loud growl. you can feel his cock twitching inside your now numbing entrance, yet you can still feel the exact moments he floods you with his cum, coating your walls and filling you. it's only when you feel your head grow heavy with pressure that you tap javi's arm, to which he immediately relives your throat of his hand, resulting in you gasping deeply for air. he's still resting inside of you by the time you both come down from your highs, panting heavily as he leans down to lay a series of soft kisses along your chest and collar bones. you lay your head back on the desk and let your hand stroke the back of his head softly, trying to ignore the somewhat uncomfortable feeling of your own hair sticking to your sweaty forehead. you don't have time to be disappointed in yourself for once again succumbing to the man now resting on top of you, the experience that you've just had was too close to euphoria for you to even care about the consequences; you're too dazed by your own pleasure to think about what was going to happen tomorrow. leaning your head down, you try to escape your own lingering thoughts by kissing the top of his head; his reaction is to hum happily and lift his head to rest it on your chest, staring deeply into your eyes with what you could have sworn was hints of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. for what feels like the first time in just under a year, you find yourself wanting more than just sex from this man. this man who each time, without failure, has made you feel like an absolute goddess every single time you've been together. even if he's only fucking you, he's still managed to make you feel more worth than your ex or any other man for that matter, ever had. you want to keep him in your life, and yet you have no idea how and it scares you. you're not sure whether or not you can tell if your thoughts are going in that direction, maybe your face gave it away you didn't know; but javi leans forward to capture your lips in another kiss. this one is different, it's not as lustful or aggressive, its simply a kiss; which he quickly follows through with laying another to your sweat covered forehead, shutting his eyes softly as he does. you inhale slowly and release it with a long sigh. unable to focus on any of the negatives any longer. the only thing you're able to focus on for the rest of the night is the fact that you were indeed absolutely smitten with this man. and you still didn't even know his full name.

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