#and the improvement as well I'm so so happy with it
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loveesiren · 3 days ago
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Help Me (Pt. 3)
Rafe Cameron x Maybank!reader
Synopsis: Rafe and Y/n finally seal the deal ;)
Warnings: Smut, language, stitches?
Word Count: 2.6k+
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You'd been staying with the Camerons for three weeks now. When Ward and Rose came home from their trip you were extremely nervous. A beat up Pogue in their house was surely not something they'd want.
But you were wrong. They were nothing but welcoming to you. Sarah had explained to them what happened. Rafe followed you around like a lost puppy. Even Wheezie ended up loving you, coming to you to gossip about boys and school.
Rafe was clean and his parents could see it. Having you around really improved his behavior. You were respectful and kind and even stayed home with Wheezie when they had events to attend. Rose even offered you a job as her assistant when you were feeling better.
They'd even let John B and JJ come by. John B already worked for Ward. JJ was still skeptical of you and Rafe but he was still on his best behavior when he came over.
Rafe slept with you most nights, wanting to make sure he was there incase you needed anything. He was always so gentle and cautious not to hurt you while you healed. Your bruising had mostly subsided. You were finally starting to look like yourself again.
--
"You ready?" Rafe asked as you finished applying mascara to your lashes.
"Fuck yes." You said. "I can't wait to get these things out of me."
Today was the day you were having your stitches removed. You couldn't be more excited to heal and go back to your old self.
"We can stop and see JJ after," Rafe said as he took your hand and lead you downstairs.
"Are you excited?!" Wheezie asked as you walked into the kitchen.
"To stop looking like the bride of Frankenstein? Absolutely." You responded with a smile.
"Think you'll be ready to work?" Rose asks with a smile.
"Definitely! I'm sick of laying around doing nothing."
"Glad to hear it!"
"Okay, we gotta go or you're going to miss your appointment." Rafe scolded, knowing full well you will get sucked into a conversation with Wheezie and Rose.
You waved goodbye as Rafe dragged you out the door and helped you in to his truck.
"I can do it myself, you know," You say as he picks you up and places you into the passenger seat.
"Nope. Not going to risk you getting hurt again." He says before placing a kiss on your cheek and shutting the door.
You smile at the gesture. He was so protective over you. Normally this would annoy you but everything Rafe does makes you feel so happy and safe.
He climbed into the drivers seat and started the car.
"You ready to go, pretty girl?" He smiles over to you.
"I'll be pretty in an hour when these things are out of my face." You say, tracing over your stitches as you look in the mirror.
"You're pretty always. No matter what."
_____________
Rafe held your hand as the doctor slowly pulled each stitch out of your skin. You winced at the pain but it was no where near as bad as it was three weeks ago.
"You're doing good, baby." He said, playing with your hair behind your back.
"Really glad I was passed out when Ricky put them in," You chuckle.
Rafe tries to smile but the thought of that night still tugs at his heart. He'd barely left you alone since. If you weren't with him, he made sure you were with JJ. The few nights you'd spent at the Chateau with your brother and friends, he stayed up all night pacing. He'd text you and you would respond. He swallowed the urge to not over do it though. The last thing he'd want is to push you away.
"And done!" The doctor announces.
You stand up and go to the mirror. Your fingers trace over the scars left on your face and collar bone. You smile sadly. You were so happy the stitches were out but you knew you'd have these scares forever.
"Beautiful," Rafe says as he wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head. "Absolutely beautiful."
His words make you blush. The fact Rafe has seen you at your absolute worst and still worships the ground you walk on was all you needed.
"Come on," You say, dragging him out of the doctors office. "JJ is waiting."
Rafe's fingers are laced with yours the whole ride to the Chateau. He always got nervous being around the Pogues. Even though his own sister was one of them. It wasn't that he was scared of them. He just cared so much about you and he wanted your brother to accept him. Had he known JJ Maybank's sister would be the love of his life, he would have been a lot nicer to him before.
You pull up to John B's house. Rafe quickly jumps out and comes around to help you out.
The Pogues watch from the porch. JJ runs out to greet you.
"Hey, sis!" He says, wrapping you into a tight hug.
"Hey, J! How are you?"
"Good! Went fishing this morning. Grillin' em up now if you guys are hungry." JJ says. His eyes flicker to Rafe's.
Rafe stands behind you with his hands in his pockets. You turn to look at him. "You hungry, babe?"
His eyes shot up at you. You had never called him any pet name before. "Uhm, yeah, I could eat." He said.
JJ offered him a small smile. You skipped ahead to go say hi to everyone.
"How's she doing?" JJ asked as he trailed behind with Rafe.
"She's doing really well." Rafe answered. "Wheezie really loves her. So do my parents. Rose offered her a job."
JJ laughs. "Yeah, she seems happy. She's really happy with you."
"I try to make her happy," Rafe says as he watches you laugh with your friends. "I love her," He confesses.
JJ bites his lip and nods. Still not fully comfortable with the situation.
"Does she know?"
"No," Rafe shakes his head. "But I'll tell her."
"Look man," JJ starts. "We've had our issues. A lot of fucking issues. But my sister is all I have left. You make her happier than I've ever seen her. I don't want to ruin that for her. I'm willing to set shit aside in order to make her happy."
Rafe smiled, looking down at his feet before looking back at JJ. "I am too." He says, offering his hand to JJ.
JJ offers a small smile and shakes his hand. "Come eat, man!" He says as he hops over to the grill.
Rafe sits down on the couch and pulls you into his arms for a hug. You cling to him as he rocks you back and forth.
Sarah smiles at the two of you. She'd never seen her brother so happy and she was excited to finally see him clean and doing well.
______________________
After you ate you all made your way to the dock. John B and JJ were doing backflips off the boat. Pope, Sarah, and Kie all sat around drinking beer, laughing at the boys. You and Rafe sat on the dock, letting your feet trail in the water below.
The sunset was beautiful. Fading into a variety of warm colors. Rafe was glowing with the way the evening light kissed his tan skin.
You couldn't deny you'd been crushing on Rafe since the night you met him. The way he mumbled about how pretty you were when you helped his drunk ass off the beach. "Are you an angel?" He asked you multiple times as he clung to you.
Now you were living at his house, attached at the hip. Everything felt effortless with Rafe. You were just happy all the time. Watching movies with him and Wheezie, cooking dinner together, laying in bed talking. There was never a dull moment.
"Y/N?" Rafe's voice brought you back to the present moment.
"Yeah?" You ask, looking over at him. His messy hair blew slightly in the wind.
"Uhm...I just wanted to ask you..." He began, chewing on his nails.
"Ask me what, Rafey?"
"A-are we like...like...w-what are we?"
You smile at him and furrow your brows. "I don't know, Rafe. What are we?"
He chuckled awkwardly. "I mean, uhh...I'd like...I mean-"
You couldn't help but laugh as he tripped over his words.
"I'd like if you were my girlfriend," He finally admitted.
The rest of the Pogues were now listening in on your conversation.
You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him to you, pressing your lips to his. He kisses you back as he smiles at the gesture.
"Does that answer your question?" You whisper as you pull away slightly.
He just nods and smiles and kisses you again. You can hear Sarah and Kiara cheering from behind you.
"Really? Can you not mack on my sister right in front of me?" JJ scolds jokingly.
Rafe puts his hands up in surrender and pulls away from you. You just laugh and flip JJ off.
"You wanna go home and seal the deal?" You ask, biting your lip.
Rafe's eyes widen and he immediately jumps to his feet. "We're heading home!" He announces, helping you up.
"Oh, yuck!" Sarah scoffs, knowing exactly what caused his sudden excitement.
"You need a ride, Sarah?" Rafe asked, keeping his focus on you.
"Are you kidding? We share a wall, Rafe. I'm staying here tonight."
"Oh my God." JJ groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Love you, J!" You say as you pull Rafe towards the truck.
"Yup. Love you too!" JJ says as he shakes the thought of you and Rafe together from his mind. John B, Pope, and Kie just laugh at how uncomfortable Sarah and JJ are.
Rafe opens the passenger door for you and helps you in before running and jumping into the driver's seat. You giggle at his eagerness.
Rafe keeps his hand on your thigh the whole drive back to Tanneyhill. Slowly inching closer to your pussy as his fingers explore your skin.
You could already feel yourself dripping with need. When you pulled into Tanneyhill you didn't even wait for Rafe to open the door for you. You practically fell out of the truck and ran to meet him. Lips connecting with his instantly.
"I'm supposed to help you out," He pants against your neck, placing kisses on your skin.
"Help me up," You demand.
Rafe smiles and grabs your ass as you jump up and wrap your legs around his waist. He moans into the kiss as he stumbles to the house, sloppily opening the door and slamming you into the wall of the foyer.
"Rafe-"
You both freeze, lips still locked on his as you both open your eyes. Rafe slowly releases you to the floor.
"Hey dad," Rafe says as the two of you round the corner to see Ward, Rose, and Wheezie having dinner.
The two of you stood there, looking guilty with your messy hair and red cheeks. You awkwardly pulled the strap of your tank top back onto your shoulder.
Ward and Rose look at you knowingly and Wheezie just scoffs.
"Would the two of you like some dinner?" Rose asks.
"Uhm, we ate at John B's." You state. "JJ went fishing."
"Yeah, uhm..." Rafe begins. "And we both have to be up early for work tomorrow. Right dad? Rose?"
You nod in agreement. As the two of you slowly back away towards the stairs.
"So we're just gonna get to bed!"
Rose and Ward chuckle at your awkwardness.
"Ew," Wheezie spits. "Just go already!"
And with that, you and Rafe practically race upstairs to his bedroom.
"Subtle," Rose laughs as she sips her wine.
"I'm so over teenagers," Ward chuckles.
--
As soon as Rafe pulls you into his room he slams the door behind you and pushes you up against it, kissing you with force.
You tug at the buttons on his shirt, surely ripping a few as you shove the fabric from his shoulders.
He grabs the hem of your shirt and brings it up over your head before biting at your neck hungrily. "Is this okay?" He asked between nips.
"I'm healed, Rafe. Don't be gentle." You tell him.
He kisses his way down your body until he reaches your jeans. He's quick to undo the buttons and pull them to the floor along with your panties, leaving you completely exposed to him.
You bite your lip as his eyes flicker up to yours. "You're fucking dripping, baby girl." He smiles.
He brings one of your legs over his shoulder, your back still pressed to the wall as he slides his tongue over the length of your pussy.
"Oh, fuck!" You pant, tangling your fingers in his hair.
He slides his middle finger inside you as his tongue dances around your clit.
You could feel yourself coming undone at the sensation.
He slides a second finger into you and you almost collapse but he brings his hand up to your ass to keep you balanced.
"Rafe, oh my God-"
He pulls your other leg up over his shoulder. Rafe and the wall are the only things keeping you upright now.
"Cum for me, baby girl." He says between your legs.
You could hardly contain yourself as you reached your high. His hands wrapped around your thighs as you vibrated against him.
"Fuck, Rafe!" You screamed, not caring who heard. "Oh my fucking God!"
Rafe smiled as he licked you clean. He let your legs slide off his shoulders as you relaxed.
"That's my girl," He praises as he comes up to place a kiss on your lips.
You give him the devil's grin as you fall to your knees in front of him. "Let me make you feel good, baby." You tell him as you fiddle with his zipper. When you finally free his cock from it's restraints you bite your lip and meet his gaze. "Big boy," You say before running the tip of your tongue against his length.
"Fuuuuuck," He moans.
You smile before wrapping your lips around his cock and slowly sinking him into your throat.
"Jesus Christ, baby," He gasps as he watches you swallow every inch of him.
You could feel his knees weaken as you bobbed your head up and down on his cock. You pulled back, drool still connecting your lips to him as you looked him in the eyes. His face was priceless, absolutely stunned at your talent.
You smirked before spitting on his dick and getting back to work.
You felt his fingers tangle through your hair, pushing his cock deeper into your throat and you accepted him.
"I'm gonna fucking cum," He panted.
You let him take control, fucking himself into your throat as you gagged on his cock. He thrusted deep into your face as he released himself. You could feel the warm liquid trickle down your throat before he pulled out.
You looked up to him and smiled as you swallowed. Mascara was running down your cheeks and cum dripping from your chin.
"Pretty girl," He smiled down at you, still clutching your hair. "Get on the bed."
You did as you were told. Rafe climbed on top of you and pressed his hand against your cheek, brushing his thumb over your skin as he bit his lip. "Can I make love to you, sweetheart?"
You beamed at him, loving how sweet he was to you. "Mhmm, please." You nodded.
He lined himself up at your entrance and pushed into you slowly.
You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck.
He pushed your knees up before snaking his arms behind your back. You clung to him as he thrusted into you slowly.
"Beautiful, perfect angel," He whispered into your ear. Your nails dug into his shoulder as he continued to press into you.
The feeling of his cock sliding against your walls was euphoric.
"Mine," He moaned. And with that you could feel yourself come undone.
"All yours," You told him as you reached your climax. He held you tight as you vibrated against him, bringing him to his own orgasm. You sucked on his neck as you felt him fill you.
"You're a God." He whispered, resting his head on your chest.
"Let me take you higher," You hissed as you rolled over and straddled him. "I'll show you God."
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Hello, Kifaji! How are you doing? I hope Leona-sama isn't causing you any trouble. I know how tough it is to deal with him, but he does have some good qualities, even though he doesn't show them often. Anyway, I wish you the best.
I don't know how common of a take this is, but I get a little sad when I see Kifaji being depicted as a relentless hater or someone who doesn't acknowledge any of Leona's strengths 😅 He's stern with Leona, yes! But Kifaji doesn't insult him or talk down to him. if anything, he reminds me a lot of Trein, who is austere too--but it comes from a place of genuine caring. I hope that this interaction, however brief it is, can be a positive showing of Kifaji's character.
Family means Nobody is Left Behind or Forgotten.
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"Ah, you are one of Leona-sama's guests from school. How good of you to pay respects to your elders.” Kifaji’s gnarled face yielded for a smile. “It's been quite some time since the Bead Brawl. I hope that you've been well since then."
"Yessir! All good on my end," you replied, tilting your head forward in a slight bow, "and happy to report that Leona-senpai's been in a pretty good mood lately!"
"A good mood..." The bird beastman sighed. He knew--in spite of your attempt to word your praise carefully--that it didn't necessarily mean his prince was being attentive. "If I may ask... Has Leona-sama been on his best behavior since his return to campus? He's been avoiding my messages and calls again, and it's troublesome not being able to check in with him."
"I wouldn't call it his best behavior," you admitted sheepishly, "but he's attending class every now and then, getting assignments done. I heard from Ruggie and Epel that he's also driving the Magift Club pretty hard during practice. Leona-senpai is definitely putting forth more of an effort than he was before."
"Hmmm." After a long pause, Kifaji sighed. "Well, I suppose that's an improvement. It sounds as though he has started to find a place for himself here at Night Raven College. That's wonderful. I'm happy for him."
"Kifaji..." You scrunched your brows. "Was this really about his behavior?"
"But of course. Being a member of the royal family, Leona-sama is expected to maintain a certain level of decorum. However, if you will lend this old bird an ear..." He held his breath, then released the secret upon it. "I worry for Leona-sama. That young man has such a bright mind, and yet he has been lost in the dark for so long, squandering that light within him.
"You understand, don't you? Despite how difficult he can be, he is overflowing with so much potential and love for Sunset Savanna. My only wish--Grand Chamberlain or no--is that Leona-sama is able to recognize his worth."
Stricken by the earnest in his words, you found yourself nodding. "Yeah, that's what I'm hoping too."
"Then it appears that we are in agreement." Again, Kifaji smiled, warm as the sun upon the plains. "I do believe he is in good hands here--and that I can trust his peers, such as yourself, to keep an eye on him."
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gunsatthaphan · 1 day ago
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bestie what are we thinking about episode 1 I'm still speechless.
I don't wanna say too much because so much happened but at the same time you can tell the actual story hasn't started so I feel like the current vibe will not be representative for the rest of the show lol.
But so far my favorite thing is the characters because even though there's already a bunch of ppl saying the acting is mid and Dunk is dragging everyone down or whatever, I have nothing to complain about. I feel like I got to know the 4 of them in this episode and the performances were convincing to me. Like yes, FK are leading the acting game and Dunk comes in last but he has improved compared to previous roles and from what I can tell, he is giving Style the necessary characteristics. He is a campy character and I saw a lot of people saying he matches the novel. So I'm not mad. not yet anyway. Joong as Fadel is crazy if you ask me, his screen presence is insane here. 10/10 would avoid him in the streets lmao. Bison is an interesting little guy lol I can tell he's a complex character which I love and Kant is just I mean 🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️ I really get Khao bc I, too, am absolutely obsessed with him lol. Maybe it's my Fir bias, maybe it's the Yok vibes I don't know but I'm on my knees. I can see what people were pointing out about his personality being very tied to Bison in the novel but so far it doesn't bother me at all. First brings him to life and gives him charisma and I'm buying every bit of his performance.
The story is very much unserious but we all knew that going in so I surely won't waste my time analyzing anything too closely lol. The crime plot is definitely not fleshed out and I'm sensing some NLMG vibes in the storytelling but as long as we don't take it seriously, it's all good. It is a comedy without trying to be one, which is a good sign. I didn't expect KantBison to jump right into the heat but seeing how their and FadelStyle's relationships will develop into opposite directions, I think it all made sense. They put a good 80% of the trailer into the episode which I was kind of expecting as they did the same with OF but like I said, the core story hasn't really started so let's see how it goes. They overdid it a bit with the music sadly, not every scene needs a rock song blasting in the background lol. I did like the song choices but it was a bit distracting at times, especially when there's an obvious transition within a single scene.
But besides that I had a good time and I'm mostly glad that the actual vibe is completely different from the pilot trailer which I didn't like at all. I see no connection to that trailer besides the story and I'm very happy about that. I'm happy with the overall energy and the characters and I'm looking forward to seeing everything unfold, as well as meeting the other characters!!
Feel free to tell me your thoughts in asks or replies!
xxx
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lienwyn · 8 months ago
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Kang Yo Han in his natural habitat, as observed by Kim Ga On
OR
You want to fuck that old man so bad it makes you look stupid
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fluffs-n-stuffs · 2 months ago
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"We will surpass the legends." 🐉✨
A super belated celebratory piece for Pokemon Masters' fifth anniversary - and for Arc Suit Lance coming home when I pulled during my country's PokeCon weekend 😔🙏
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ithinkthiswasabadidea · 6 months ago
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"A book of fairytales and fables? A warm gift from our sun-walking friend, no doubt..." ✨️
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spotaus · 1 day ago
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YEAHHHH!!!!!! >:D
Ancha I am SO glad you liked it because. Ough. I started writing it at like 11 at night and just. Kept going??? I was so so pumped!!!
I'm gonna try and follow where you went with the ideas, gimme a sec-
Okay so, yeah! Nightmare, at this point, views the training has his relax time! Kinda how someone can spend all their time doing work, say writing reports, and still enjoy writing stories in their free time! It still challenges him and interests him, but it's in a way with low stress. His knights can improve inch by inch now that their foundation is stable! And the training room is one of the most secure rooms in the castle, thanks to reinforcing it to withstand magic attacks!
And I really really wanted to take on idea of each of the guy's strengths! You got it perfectly so I'll try not to linger, but I kinda wanted to run off that original idea I had for the Knights knowing eachother and being in sync, but now it's more fitting to their personalities since I've gone into more depth with them! Killer has greatly influenced the others, in the way they fight and the way they act on the battlefield. It's like setting loose a feral animal on all these Knights who are Not Ready for dirty fighting. (Dust was used to diplomatic scuffles gone wrong, usually with the use of enchanted weaponry, Horror just. Did not fight prior to this. Abd Cross, as mentioned, was a muscle-memiry routine combat kinda guy!) And in the same breath, Killer learned from them too! Night might be their mentor, but Killer was committed to being a good influence on them, even if it didn't register to any of them-
A lot of that was also me trying to get a grip on how they'd behave in such a space alone with Night. Killer the most relaxed, Cross the most nervous, etc! And the little banter between them was fun!! (I also was trying to use technique I learned recently so combat reflection was a good opportunity for it, haha!)
One of my favorite bits in the beginning I think was, like you mentioned, Nightmare making sure they left training on a high note! I took the idea from your Q&A drabble actually, when u mentioned Night looking for ways to better keep hold of his knights? Yeah, he ensures to be even more vocal about what he noticed everyone doing well, just so they know! And Cross takes the praise the best visually, but he can tell the others at least seem pleased by it <3
Lastly!!! Yes, the bed-time was meant to be sorta a hint to the incoming turn of events, but it's also just meant to be a cute lil cameo too!! I think a few things never quite left his habits (like, his body getting more tired around Bedtime even though he regularly skipped sleep all together anymore) because. Y'know! Adult body still has Kid Night in there running the show! And because of the weird suspended state of his mind, it left him with odd quirks!
Okay, okay, hearing that you enjoyed the drama bit makes me SO happy, because this time I wanted to go with sonething that felt a bit more Nightmare-accurate. Night was always a quiet kid, a fawn rather than fight or flight, he kept his emotions tight to his chest because so few people cared in the first place. So, when his magic (the thing that made his moves for him, before he could freeze up or downplay or smother his feelings) Leaves? He's exhausted, and confused, and scared, and frankly out of it. He fawns again!
And the magic leaving, this time I wanted it to feel like it was in a moment of lull, no tension, no stakes (aside from a stinky Killer) and no sign for Night that anything was wrong. It all just dipped at once, and as it left his awareness it left him dizzy, disoriented, and!!!! I'm glad that you caught that he couldn't feel anything because the magic refused to work with him anymore!!! So the normal input didn't transfer to him!!! That weird lack of senses was also sort of my excuse to let the Knights start freaking out! Because idk how clear it was (intentionally not very if I did my job right lol-) but when Night's balance starts to screw up, Killer turns around. But it's Night initially who reaches out and grabs his arm, and then Killer has indirect permission to support his weight further and grab hold of him! Night subconsciously reached out to Killer, even if he didn't realize it in the moment. And ofc that's Killer being like 'oh that's not normal'.
And!!! Like in the og drabble, Dust goes on high alert immediately, but this time Cross and Horror hesitate! There's a part that Nightmare misses where Horror expresses worry and suggests he should grab the first aid and take a look, and Killer tells him no. Because Night (in that moment) is unresponsive, and Killer doesn't think Horror coukd help even if he tried. He might make it worse. And Horror tries to press his offer, before Night comes-to again to hear Killer snap at Horror to get Ccino! And like you said, Killer has no idea what's happening, but he's sure if anyone could help it would be Ccino! And in the meantime he just tries to keep Nightmare close, keep him steady. He doesn't like it one bit, but he knows he has to keep watch because Dust doesn't sense/see anyone, and Cross doesn't either as he guards the door!
And, ofc, Killer was horrified to find what was basically a babybones in his arms when all the goop left, but he was also shaken because. Well. That's the Prince from the tapestry. Night doesn't make the connection, but he'd seen images of Nightmare a few times, abd certainly images of his twin, enough to recognize that. Yeah. That's the same guy. And he can't explain it, but since Dust chimes in with magic loss, Killer makes some leaps in judgement. (Also!!! Dust isn't good with magic usually, but Nightmare's was so impressive it was always looming. The moment it was gone he spoke up. He's also OBNOXIOUSLY familiar with symptoms of magic loss. For. Obvious reasons 🙏)
Nightmare, in his fawning, couldn't decide whether the voice in his head reminding him that these Knights were kind, loyal souls was right, or if the instincts telling him to get away NOW were winning. He compromised in the firm of 'can't really move anyways so I'll sit here and be scared'.
And!!!!! I'm glad u liked Killer telling Cross to hold onto the magic! Killer's smart, and a fast thinker, and Cross was the nearest thing with any chance if keeping his king from??? Melting??? And to Cross' credit he DID grab it! He did great! (He feels awful about it after because from what *he* saw, it didn't help. It did! He just doesn't know!)
And. Ccino's piece in this was probably the part I was least certain on. Because Ccino assumed the Knights somehow set Nightmare into one of his worse episodes. Or, worse, he worried Night accidentally hurt one of the Knights and panicked. Horror was pretty vague about why he needed to hurry. And Ccino gets there and- well.
He hasn't seen that little skull in seven years, and it's got a big crack, and it's trembling, and one big eyelight is looking up at him. Nightmare was always his little brother, and yet all at once his instincts kicked back in. This was no powerful bomb waiting to be nudged just too far before exploding, not some otherworldly tyrant. This was his Nighty, somehow back to the way he was the day he protected his twin and swore into the prophecy. This was HIS Nighty.
So, for the first time in a while he drops pretenses. There's no effort to hide him away, Ccino knows well enough that trying to remove Nightmare from the Knight's vision right now would possibly get them both in hot water. So he does what he can, throws open his arms, and coddled his little brother tightly. So, so tightly. He has no idea how, or why, and obviously it's the same Night who'd spent the morning writing laws, but it was so surreal that he just had to get him close!!!!!
And Night, yeah, he just feels safe with Ccino, and irrational mind running off of a huge magic-drop? He deemed Ccino's arms a perfect place to shed some tears and then pass out-
If I had to do a follow-up it'd definitely be either a Ccino or Killer chapter following either the moment Night is free of the goop (Killer) or the moment he enters the training room (Ccino) and then the conversational aftermath! (I also think they move the whole party to Nightmare's room eventually, and somewhere along the line Dust brings up that lighter foods might help-) just lil silly details haha! But it's basically a force of nature making the Knights and Ccino agree to a pact of sorts just to agree to help Nightmare. He's still the king. He's just... young now. Again.
Okay I got a lil wild but- I'm just so so happy you enjoyed it!!! A healthy balance if shenanigans for the boys, panic for Nightmare, and an unexpected surprise for Ccino!!!!
New Age AU (The Magic Retreats)
Hi guys!!! So, I wrote this one in a fit of passion, but here's a brief take 2 on the most important chapter of the fic and the first one I posted! (In which Night becomes Tiny again :] ) As always this drabble is unedited and un-checked so uhh. Good luck!
(HI @ancha-aus , @papiliovolens , and @mutzelputz welcome back!)
   The days felt like they were growing longer again. Maybe it was the change of the seasons, or the workload ramping up again making his nights bleed into his mornings. No matter the case, Nightmare was lucky to have moments of rest from his endless piles of debts and taxes and laws and requests that were strewn all about his office. They were nice, neat, piles now, but they seemed to be an endless cycle. He'd solve one problem and it would result in a new report of catastrophe somewhere else.
   Often, he wondered whether it was that his Mother's ruling style had truly worked, or if she'd ignored it. After all, she'd been a God amongst mortals, why would she care for a few challenged livelihoods amidst her paradise?
   The sharp clash of metal on magic drew Nightmare's attention back to the present. Against all odds, he'd managed to convince Cross to start training his sword again. When Cross had first started getting lessons to properly control his magic, harnessing even whisps of Nightmare's own spells on occasion, he'd quickly neglected his physical training. Over the last few weeks, Nightmare had voiced his worry that Cross might find himself up against another foe like Dust. One who he couldn't simply control. He needed to re-learn his old battle tactics. Only then, he'd promised, they would move on to harnessing both at once.
   So, now, he was sparring against Horror in the training room. Nightmare sat off to the side on the benches, Dust and Killer on either side of him watching intently. Two of his tendrils hovered readily before him, ready to pounce to intercept any wayward attacks or truly dangerous intent, though he trusted his Knight to not put his newest comrade in any real danger. The other two tendrils lay lax behind the bench, curling comfortably beneath where his other Knights sat at his sides.
   These were the sorts of daily distractions he enjoyed. Which pulled him away from the stress of the papers and the outside world. He could focus solely on his charges and how best to help them. They helped him so often, he just wanted to return the favor.
   His eyelight followed the movements, as Horror stayed more or less right on Cross's tail. His axe swung slower than normal, and it was obvious he was taking the training seriously without giving Cross a heart-attack from the force of his normal blows. It wasn't often Nightmare allowed them to pair up precisely because of that. Horror had no magic for Cross to control, none that would help him at least. Meanwhile, Horror's brute strength could snap Cross like a twig if something were to go slightly awry.
   A swing of the axe, Cross's longsword cracking against the handle as he blocked. A push-off, sending Cross back a few steps before he swung. Missed. The axe was on him again, this time towards his side. Cross jumped over it, swung his sword. Missed again. The axe came in again, from above. A narrow block, one which forced Cross to his knee, before Horror let up.
   Horror was simply a marvel of physical combat. He hadn't been a good fighter when Nightmare met him, but he'd learned very quickly. From watching the guards, from listening to Nightmare. Though, Nightmare was almost positive Killer had actually been his biggest influence. Killer, the cockpit, single Knight at that time. He'd taken Dust under his supervision at the time, practically heading the dismantling of the crime rings Dust knew so well all on his own. Meanwhile, Nightmare was working with Horror to understand how to fix the farming situation across the kingdom. Once things settled, and Nightmare expressed interest in having Horror stick around, it was Killer who showed off in combat training. Horror spun off his feet and pushed off his hands in the way expected of a much smaller, leaner, monster. Very similar to how Killer fought when he was playing around.
   It was evidently too unfamiliar for Cross. He'd been taught formal swordplay, but here in this kingdom? That was about as useful as playing with a slingshot and trying to operate a trebuchet. It seemed similar, but it could only get one so far.
   Cross had been steadily improving, of course. Just a year or so ago, Cross had been besting all the rest of the royal guard out on the training field. But placed against Killer, the best of the best at practical combat, no holds bar? He'd fumbled. Now, Nightmare knew Cross could hold his own against his proudest Knight. That meant a lot in such a short time. Pride filled his chest at the thought, as he watched the two of them clash again and again.
   He knew his time was running short for today. He'd had Dust and Killer work on their team-building and attack him earlier on in training while Cross and Horror were warming up. As he already knew, they were chatty, but very efficient in their coordination.
   "On your left!" Killer would call out. Dust would simply duck as Killer instead vaulted over his head as though emerging from the shorter Knight's shadow, knife in hand, glowing red with energy.
   Killer's use of deceptive verbal cues was a talent he'd come up with all his own. Nightmare remembered him pestering Dust over it every dinner for a week after he'd first thought of it. Dust had seemed annoyed at first, but Nightmare could tell after the first session of them trying it out, against him? He'd been unaware, and if his magic didn't work separate from his mind on occasion, they would have gotten him in the first two minutes.
   They'd used it again earlier, and even after several years it still kept Nightmare on his toes. He figured that was why he felt tired as he watched the two locked in mock battle before him. The cognitive challenges did tend to make his socket heavy with sleep. And he hated to admit it, but he always knew about when to end their afternoon trainings, because it lined up with when his mind would start to lag. Even years later, his body still seemed to respond to the familiar draw of a long-discarded bed time.
   He'd let them exchange a few more blows, before calling it off and ushering them all off to clean up before dinner. Even if he knew only Cross and Dust would go wash up. Horror would go change out of his training gear into clean clothes, he hated to look messy at the dinner table, abd Killer would simply stick to his side like glue.
   It never was a point of complaint, he appreciated the commitment, but sometimes he really did wish he'd at least take a moment to swap clothes. Sometimes he tracked all sorts of dirt and scraps of magic out of the training room and into the halls.
   Mm. The clashing seemed to have reached a rhythm. That meant Cross had gotten familiar with Horror's movement patterns again. It never lasted long, Horror was very adaptable, but it did mean that Cross would be locked into the stalemate now, or it'd be an easy defeat for Horror. Better to call it now and send them off with a bit of praise. They never ceased to impress him, they'd all grown so much.
   "Alright, end the match." he called. It didn't take hardly a moment for the order to register after his voice carried to the two monsters.
   Cross was the first to pull away, with Horror letting his swing fall short and his Axe's momentum swing up and into the air. He caught the grip and almost immediately stuffed it back into its own holster along his back. Cross sheathed his sword, and while a bit out of breath, he still grinned triumphantly and bowed amicably to Horror. Horror returned it with a nod. Their little ritual.
   "Wonderful work today, all of you." Nightmare announced, his front two tendrils slinking back to his sides as they no longer had danger to be hyper aware of. To defend against. "Tomorrow, I want to see you two spar again, I believe you are making great leaps in progress, Cross. Dust will provide you both with terrain obstacles in the form of erratic magic attacks to simulate a more turbulent battle field and provide Horror with more opportunity to practice dodging." The suggestion seemed well-recieved, and Nightmare let his good eyelight turn to Killer, who sat grinning beside him. "Killer, you and I will be doing more endurance training for your magic."
   "Looking forward to it, my Lord," Killer replied.
   That made Nightmare chuckle a bit. Once upon a time, Killer would tense up at the premise of magic training. Then, as he grew bolder, groan at the mention. He was not proficient in the sort of magic Cross, Dust, or he himself relied on, but his preferred weapon was a knife or two summoned by his own soul. Since it was magic, Nightmare insisted he learn to better sustain and alter it rather than letting it atrophy in the wake of his extensive physical training. Now, seeing him grin lazily at the idea, not a worry weighing on his soul? It made Nightmare feel a lot more justified in making the rambunctious Knight do the more "boring" practical training.
   "If we understand what to expect for the afternoon tomorrow, then you are dismissed. I will see you all at dinner," he declared. Humor filled his chest at the warmth which rolled off his knights at the mention of food. Dinner was always cooked by Ccino, and Ccino was the best cook. Nightmare would know.
   He watched as Cross gave a little salute before he turned on his heel to begin to follow Horror's lumbering gait towards the heavy doors separating this room from the hall. The newest Knight's voice was quiet, but excitable as he started to reflect on his techniques to Horror. He always debriefed after a training.
   Beside him, Dust swung forward off the bench and landed silently, already moving to follow the other two. His body-language always seemed disgruntled, and his expression was hidden under his darkened hood, but Nightmare knew he was pleased with his work tonight. Content with what he had accomplished.
   "Cross is gettin' a lot faster." Killer's voice was calm beside him, and Nightmare followed the other's hollow gaze to where the other three were discarding their gear, hanging it up on the racks near the door where they always stored the supplies.
   Four spaces, one for each knight. Killer had gouged his name into the wooden base of his own years ago.
   "I agree." Nightmare let one of his tendrils wrap at the ground around a leg of the bench. "It helps that he is eager and willing to improve on his skills. And that he has others to lean on as he continues to learn."
   Killer's scoff quickly devolved into a laugh at the thinly veiled praise. It wasn't unusual of him to slip it into conversation. A quick, gentle nudge of praise. Acknowledgement and appreciation. Killer had heard to most of it, and Nightmare often worried he'd find it insincere.
   As far as he knew, he never did.
   "You should go put up your armor as well." Nightmare suggested, nudging at Killer's back with a tendril.
  
   "Yes, sir." Killer chimed, the sharpness of his laughter still on his tongue.
   Nightmare rose simply, and Killer pushed off the bench with a quick hop. His feet planted, and Nightmare waited for him to take a step towards where the others were before moving to follow. It felt right, to see them all in one spot. Relaxed.
   He moved to follow Killer's quick steps, only... All at once his vision seemed to double, and he halted himself. He could feel his tendrils lash out, moving to stabilize him against the floor of the training room. He still stood upright, just barely, but it seemed all his balance had left him. Instinctively, in a fit of habit, he shut his good socket and took a moment. The swaying feeling he was gripped by, even after a deep breath an counting to five, did not fade. The darkness which usually seemed to calm him only seemed to make the swaying worse. He could not tell if the motion was coming from him, or I the ground beneath him was shifting like the deck of a boat. Without his vision he couldn't orient up versus down, let alone find his stability again.
   Opening his good socket provided him with orientation, though his vision still danced and swirled. He was looking down, down towards the brick ground, from the space behind his palm. When did he place his hand to his socket? The view included his legs, which he recognized now were shaking, and his tendrils which were trying to hold him in place.
   And...
   He jolted at the contact he could see but hadn't felt in the slightest. He skull reeled up so that he could see who had touched him. One hand on his elbow. The other- when did he grab Killer's arm? When had Killer turned around to look at him? Why was Killer looking at him like that?
   It was Killer, who had ahold of him, though he couldn't feel the Knight's touch, and he couldn't tell if he was gripping the other's arm at all. Though he was, he could see it.
   His vision warped again with the quick movement. A desperate bid to look past Killer. Was there a threat? The blurry form of Dust shot past him, he thought. Horror and Cross still seemed to be by the door.
   The ceiling. Why was he looking at the ceiling? No, wait, the floor now. It grew closer, in the space between himself and Killer, as the opening for him to see it grew smaller. Then he couldn't see it at all, his vision replaced swiftly by- training gear. The leather smell invaded his senses as the rest failed him. He couldn't feel Killer, though he knew the knight was near to him. That, as far as he could tell, Killer had caught him. That he'd sunken to the ground under his own weight.
   Why?
   His socket wasn't being helpful. It seemed, from what he saw, that his tendrils were trying to melt away as they moved errantly to slap onto Killer's back or the ground beyond. Surely that wasn't right? His tendrils had never wavered. He shut his socket again, letting his skull sink into the training armor again.
   It didn't occur to him for a few moments, that he couldn't hear his knights, until he suddenly could.
   The voices were loud and grating, breaking his wobbling darkness once again as he tried to force his socket back open. What was wrong with him?
   "Horror, I said go get Ccino! Now!" Killer. He'd know that voice anywhere, though he didn't like the angry tone. Like fire spitting from his tongue seemingly right above Nightmare's skull. "This isn't some sort of test, I- I don't know what this is. It can't be good."
   Nightmare tried to reach out. Not physically, it felt he still couldn't control his limbs. No, he tried to sense. Did the others know what was wrong with him? Was the rising panic in his chest originating from his own emotions or theirs? Had... had one of them done something?
   No, it wasn't them.
   "Shit." Somewhere behind him, he heard Dust's voice hiss. "His magic levels are dropping. And fast."
   For a second, Nightmare was stunned. What did he mean his magic levels were dropping? Though, it made sense. Somewhere deep in his chest he could feel it, the swaying motion as his magic tried to peel away from his bones. He-
   "What do you-" Killer still sounded frustrated, and he too spat an expletive a moment later.
   Nightmare, for the briefest moment, thought he felt touch again against his skull. He let his blurry socket fall closed again, the vision only worsening as his magic rocked with unseen waves of revulsion.
   "Cross, try to grab his magic," Killer ordered.
   The familiar splattering of the young Night would've been comforting, if the suggestion didn't fill him with dread. Killer knew better than that. They'd agreed Cross could only touch on controlling his magic. Nothing more. It was too vast.
   "W-what! I- I shouldn't-" Cross attempted to stammer a defense, but Killer was quicker with words. Always had been.
   "Just try. Now. Hold it in place and see if it stablizes." The command was a lot more controlled than the previous one, but his tone was leaving no room for error. "When the King and Ccino are unavailable, I'm in charge. Listen to me."
   Nightmare had never heard Killer take charge in such a way before, and in his haze he might've written it off as a product of his imagination. All of this being some sort of weird hallucination. But he felt the invasive force of Cross' magic snake over his bones.
   He'd felt it before, a sort of blanket or hand-hold aimed at the ends if his tendrils which could make them twitch a bit with Cross's own will. This time he felt it creep up the length of his spine and dig unseen claws into his shoulder blades. He could feel it, just like he could now feel Killer's chin and shoulder, where his skull had been tucked. He could feel the hand supporting his back, the other his side. He felt limp as the forceful magic washed over him.
   Nightmare gagged.
   Cross's magic caught on something, like a hook finding the fish, and for a brief few moments, Nightmare felt like he had a ball of gunk in his non-existant gut. Something heavy and feral, trying to escape.
   For just a moment, he regained a breath of awareness. He felt his Knight supporting his weight, he felt the nakedness of his back where his tendrils had completely abandoned him, he felt the emotions of the three still with him. Fear. Confusion. Anger. He didn't like it much. He still couldn't move his limbs.
   And just as quickly as it was stable, the hold on the wild magic slipped away. Like the fish had broken the string.
   It flowed up, like the force of a dam finally released. Through his ribcage, past his shoulders where Cross's magic seemed to dissipate all at once, into his mouth.
   Nightmare regained some semblance of control over his body at that moment. As the magic seemed to rush towards freedom. He shoved away from Killer all at once, the chill of the stone hitting his palms heavily and his socket opening if only to watch as he lost it. That dark, thick, sticky magic that had marked him as a bad omen. That had gifted him the power to rule in place of his twin. Protect those he loved.
    It spilled to the stone before him, and he was stunned to watched that, as he heaved suddenly labored breaths, it sunk away. Disappeared. Just like that, instead of his familiar darkness, the protective shield, the instinctive defense he had grown to know, he was staring at the floor. And the space in which his wobbling arms hid under too-big sleeves, and from the cuffs escaped perfect, pearly-white bone. Bone he could never seem to reach no matter how hard he scrubbed with water and soap. Bones that seemed so frail in the torchlight.
   "My king?"
   Nightmare let his eyelight raise from the ground. It wasn't as wobbly anymore, his vision slowly coming back to normal. He still took his time trailing from the ground, to look at Killer's pants. He was on his knees, hardly an arm's length away. Then the edges of his chestplate. His arms were outstretched, hovering barely away from touching Nightmare. He shook at the closeness, but didn't dare try to move. Killer's soul was wobbling. Nightmare's boww furrowed at the sight. It was very small, but he'd always notice the little changes and moves. Though, he noticed an absence of something at the back of his skull as he stared. Something missing.
   Killer's face was last. He looked serious, his dark sockets not a new sight, but Nightmare hardly saw Killer so serious. He'd seen the look before. Usually when he'd see someone bothering Ccino. It had always been brief, quickly disguised under his patented sadistic grin. Killer just watched him now. As though he was sone glass sculpture ready to tip off the end of the table.
   He hated, as he stared, that he couldn't- he could feel-
   He tried to shift, to whip his head to look for the knight he knew should've been behind him. And he was right, of course. A glimpse of Dust's shadowed skull and tense body-language told Night he was on high-alert, but Nightmare hadn't been able to feel him. Hadn't sensed his presence at all. No emotions, no aura, no nothing.
  
   "Woah, steady!" Killer yelped as Nightmare felt himself tilt.
   Looking up at Dust had disoriented him. The weight distribution was different now. His body listed to the side, and he flinched when arms wrapped around at his sides and tugged his upper half onto soft fabric. Killer's legs. Killer had caught him.
   "My king, Nightmare, it's you, right?" He sounded the same. Something told Nightmare he was uncertain.
   "Y-" His attempt to speak was short-lived. His voice wasn't right. It was high-pitched and raw. All the rumble and low tones entirely missing. He couldn't be sure if he stopped on account of keeping his pride alive, or if he feared speaking in a voice he hadn't heard in years.
   It didn't help that he couldn't feel them. No matter how much he tried, the only feeling in his chest was his own solitary anxiety. Balling up tighter and tighter, an old friend come home again. If he could tell what they were thinking- if he could know if he was safe...
   He bit back his panic, holding in the weakness which was threatening to give him away. Though, what else was there to give? If he was right, then the prophecy had finally rejected him. Left him as an offering to a pack of wolves.
   Nightmare knew he was shaking, but some irrational part of him thought that if he kept his socket shut that this would all be some absurd night terror and he'd wake up cozy in his bed, or exhausted at his desk, or maybe passed out on the floor. Somewhere else. Anywhere else.
  
   "What's wrong?" That voice was deeply familiar, and all at once Nightmare felt like he had a surge of strength. "Why did Horror rush me back here? Where is our King?" It was Ccino. He sounded more frustrated than anything else, but he didn't need to feel his emotions to know the rise to his tone. The worry buried there.
   "We finished training and everything was fine," Killer explained, tone as even as he could muster, "But when we were on our way out, he just collapsed."
   Nightmare pitied him, having to tell Ccino any sort of bad news. Nightmare didn't think as he attempted again to shove himself up. If only to catch a glimpse of Ccino.
   As he peered barely over Killer's shoulder, he saw what the others did. Ccino had some sort if flour or wheat all down the front of his nice apron, and a few streaks along the thighs of hid pants from where he'd probably wiped his hands along the way. His expression was a mix of concern and fury that set Nightmare's soul into a pretzel-twist of regret, and his eyelights scanned the room as he rapidly approached Killer. Obviously looking for answers.
   Only, Ccino arrived to Killer's side, and his growing rage seemed to stop all at once, alongside his steps. He stared down at Nightmare with wide eyes. Nightmare stared up at him wearily. The king's sockets were beginning to water. Ccino's expression, the way his balled fists twitched and relaxed, the way he seemed to lose all the tension I'm his body, just getting a glimpse at him. Ccino recognized his face, no doubt about it.
   "Nightmare?" Ccino's voice was small.
   Nightmare fumbled a bit as he tried to launch away from Killer. Having Ccino so close to him simply... broke whatever had been holding back the emotional damage within. It didn't help in the slightest when Ccino crouched and immediately tugged him away from Killer and into a gentle bear-hug there on the floor.
   For the first time, in a very long time, he found that the welling of tears in his sockets didn't result in dark, tarlike, goop that fell in chunks down his skull. This time the tears were real, a transparent lilac which raced down his cheeks abd planted themselves against the fabric of Ccino's tunic and apron. He wasn't wearing his fur, he was smart like that.
   Ccino's arms wrapped around his back like they always did, and Nightmare felt himself slipping. Ccino was safe. He had always been safe.
   Nightmare didn't have time to begin sobbing as he had expected, or to even begin to hyperventilate into Ccino's shirt or curl into a ball against his chest. The moment Ccino nuzzled the side of his skull, his vision went blurry again.
   At the tightening of Ccino's grip, he heard Dust's voice again. "Magic-loss. A lot of it." Faintly rolled into his mind like a distance voice two doors over. He didn't quite catch when Killer started to speak again, or Ccino worriedly said his name. Dust was right, the magic was gone. Out of nowhere. It was a lot for his little body to handle.
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yunamiudon · 11 months ago
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The End of the War !!
My codywan piece I did for New Beginnings by @thecodywanzine. Thank you for all the hard work!
(Actually, this was a re-drawing of a piece I did two years ago. I decided to draw this cuz I thought the end of the war is the beginning of their new days.)
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sysig · 1 month ago
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For Requestober No.2
What about Handplates Gaster and Papyrus trying hard to have a bonding activity and Sans just chilling behind them eating popcorns...?
👉🏻👈🏻
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Day 14 - He's supervising
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xxthebubblewitchxx · 4 months ago
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Artfight is finally over yay!! This year was so fun and I wanted to try out some stuff like making more interesting pieces and full illustrations with backgrounds or with diffrent elements as well as push myself to color and shade more finished drawings! I have to say I'm proud on how they came out! :D
But on another note I have many places to improve on! I can't stop ignoring it, I always draw the same face shape! I have to admit that drawing faces is the part I hate the most so I always go for what's more comfy but I really have no excuses I've been drawing the same face for years now hahaha And it became more obvious with all the thumbnails of the drawings side by side- But hey i'm here to get better little by little so i'll see what I can do to work on that! >:)
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serendipnpipity · 9 months ago
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I finally watched Interactive Introverts for the first time and immediately knew I had to learn the closing song on the piano!
Tried my best to write down what I played for anyone else who wants to try it. (Multiple pages, under the cut!) ❤️🤍
**all rights to the melody and original music go to Daniel Howell and Phil Lester, only the piano arrangement is mine**
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wilting-fl0wer · 3 months ago
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back muscle practice/study w Sol
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witheredbouquet · 11 months ago
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drawn for the dragonyule gift exchange on twt, so glad that i could join this year! thank you for hosting, saint starfall ♥
i hope that everyone has a wonderful dragonyule & a happy new year!
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throughpatchesofviolet · 6 days ago
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I'll have these moments where I am calm, collected, and feel like I can, in fact, complete all of the tasks I've set out for myself, and then I'll get home and completely lose all that motivation.
#I'm not sure why that is though ... is it the chores? being around other people? the clutter?#I am going to go home and work on cleaning up a bit of my room though ... that's my plan#also I need to pick out a dinner to make next week--and also maybe we'll watch the show we missed yesterday#and give Plushcliff a kissie#I have some things I want to do but maybe I should focus on improving my personal space (my room) first ...#I actually started eating an apple every day and that has helped a lot--crazy how fruits and veggies improve mental health /lh#and if you get this far ... the funniest thing is I used to HATE apples#absolutely loathed them#and then I headcanoned that Heathcliff cuts up fruit (I wrote about it a lot in an unreleased fic I was writing for myself)#and I decided he really likes apples for some reason ... so recently I actually ate an entire serving of an apple dessert I HATED#and was just steaming internally because THIS FICTIONAL MAN HAS ME EATING A FRUIT I HATE#AND I LIKE IT#AND IT'S MAKING ME HAPPY#HOW *DARE* HE#/lh /lh#I don't talk a lot about how he helps me but maybe I should ... he's made food a lot easier for me#ALSO I have opinions about him and food that are very special to me#I just get shy because. Heathcliff is the character I project onto the most and I see him having a lot of the struggles I do#in things like food and stuff--also my opinions on his gender/orientation would get me flamed /lh /lh#well. that may just be my past experiences talking. just know those areas are very important to me when it comes to him#anyway!!#got very rambly near the end of this ... eat fruit okay? it'll help you#scattered pages
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fluffs-n-stuffs · 18 days ago
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Caught in the Moment 📸🎃✨
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Some photos from the Midnight Parade after-party have been found distributed across Pasio… but who took them, I wonder? And what are all these notes?
Whatever the case, it certainly looks like our trainers had themselves a frightening load of fun 🫣💕
Eusine's Sableye-themed outfit was designed by @moldspicy from his original post :}
Filterless + unblurred version under the cut!
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lilowoof · 3 months ago
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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