#and the hospital where i was born lololol

[cloangi]

Things I like to think about for Keegan

(Huge ass ramble, so be aware of a yapping session 🗣🔥)

Even though we don't know what the Ghosts members' parents look like, I like to think that Keegan looks a lot like his mom

Keegan P. Russ, a man born to a beautiful mother and average ahh dad (/j)

I actually feel like maybe Keegans parents were actually pretty good-looking. Or at least leaned towards being attractive, like seriously take a good look at Keegan and tell me he has bad genetics (he doesn't)

Prob got his facial structure from his dad or sum, however genetics work. But his eyes? Hair color? Definitely his mom. So imagine Keegans mom, a rough image of her, then Keegan standing right next to her. Just 2 pairs of blue eyes staring into your soul.

They look like twins, man 💀

Nah, cause imagine blue-eyed Keegans mama holding baby Keegan himself with eyes that are grayish-bluish (babies can have different colored eyes when they're born. I had gray eyes instead of brown in the beginning in my case) and they're both just...staring.

Okay maybe Keegan got his emotionless stare from his dad, or maybe it's the aftermath of the whole Sand Viper mission he experienced back in his early days (bet ya forget the mf is basically old compared to most of us). I think his mom's eyes may have carried a type of confidence, a type of softness in them (that's why his Keegans dad fell in love with Keegans mother fr /j)

And yeah Keegans dad has brown or hazel eyes lololol. Plus brunette or very dark colored hair. (He and his son do look related, he's not completely the odd one out)

Great, now I wanna hold a baby version of Keegan in my arms 😔 (I feel like he was lowkey a very vocal baby. Always whining and babbling, not crying, just making sounds. Definitely loved his mom a lot more than his dad though)

Can't be too sure about his childhood though. I think maybe he came from a semi-broke family, yeah his parents loved him and each other (maybe Keegan even had some siblings. But he strikes me as an only child due to how quiet and mature he is, an only child like me fr). But yeah, I feel like he had a bit of a rough upbringing in terms of a financial situation. Makes sense as to why he would be in Sand Viper as a barely 15-16 year old highschooler.

Speaking of which, how could Keegan even be 16 at the time of Sand Viper? You have to be at least 17 to even be able to join. Like, for the National Guard, you can join as a junior in high school, but only when you turn 17. So, in a way , it doesn’t make sense as to how Keegan happened to be there at an age below 17.

(maybe he got stuck there and decided to fight with the others cause they weren't able to evacuate him like everyone else or sum, or make him go back to the hospital where all the civilians were. I forgot a good portion of Sand Viper)

(And during this time he maybe met Ajax who was of a proper age to even be there, since he was 17-18 or so)

I know the devs didn't pay too much attention to his birthdate, so it's pretty messed up when someone does actually pay attention to everything and his life timeline 💀

Could it be possible that they accidently messed up his birth date (head)canonically? Like, my mom's birth date is messed up on her drivers license, and I'm pretty sure her ID also has the same thing.

Imagine some guy accidently inputted the wrong date for Keegan in some sorta military database and didn't even realize nor bother to change it 💀

Stupid I know but yeah, the devs fault on that part to mess up his age like that cause you literally CANNOT be on the battle field as a 15-16 year old, especially in the USA since I'm pretty sure child soliders don't exist here anymore.

But yeah, that's pretty much it

Thanks for reading

[leemarkies]

15 questions, 15 people!

tagged by: @parksunghoons (thanks xixi! <3)

1. are you named after anyone? believe it or not yes. after patrick tillman's wife. (she and my mom were besties in high school/college)

2. when was the last time you cried? last friday after my bosses at work were being mean lololol

3. do you have kids? nope! unless u count my 22 yo brother that acts like a child!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? not that much

5. what sports do you play/have you played? i used to play tennis and volleyball when i was a kid. and i did dance (ballet, jazz, hip hop) for 7(?) years. i also did marching band all 4 years in high school (yes that counts)

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? their hair!

7. what’s your eye colour? green!

8. scary movies or happy endings? both!

9. any special talents? i can surf and skateboard!

10. where were you born? TECHNICALLY the hospital i was born in was in palo alto, california (my dad was still at stanford for uni) but i was almost immediately brought back to santa cruz, california and was raised there until i was 12

11. what are your hobbies? playing video games! and i love to paint and cross stitch! i also play the flute (and sorta the tenor sax) and if watching trashy reality shows was a hobby i'd be a professional

12. do you have pets? YES i have my baby dog buzz <3 who owns my entire heart <3 and my pet snake named richard, and a beta fish named bait :) also my brother has a dog named kona and i am the best aunt ever btw

13. how tall are you? 5' 8" (173 cm)

14. favourite subject in school? call me a nerd IDC but i loved and excelled in math. i also loved art and anything to do with computers!

15. dream job? botanist! or own a flower shop!

tagging:@exocean, @scoupsy, @akayong-main, @yonglixx, (feel free to ignore!)

[drivingsideways]

Just watched this on Amazon- and BLOWN AWAY. 

[commedesgarconsliketheboys]

look how pretty this view is

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #303

“if i can’t be loved, then i’ll be hated”

What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Candy corn or conversation hearts? They're both gross, don't make me pick between garbage. Do you own a lot of earrings? Not really after I weeded them out before moving. What did your backpack in high school look like? I dare say I had the dopest backpack of them all. It looked like a massive Ouija board, and the zipper was the planchet (sp?). Have you ever been to a rave? Nah. What is your favorite art medium? I have a particular fondness of oil paintings. They tend to look so smooth, and you can achieve incredible realism with them. How far away is the nearest hospital from you? Not even five minutes, I think. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My mom. What is your favorite car color? Pink, duh. How did you learn to type? We actually had a class specifically for typing in middle school. What style of wedding dress do you want? I don't have that set in stone yet, but I really do love ballgown dresses with long trains as well as a-lines with a moderate train. I love a lot, except really for mermaid dresses. Do you fit into any stereotype, or are you non-stereotypical? I don't know if I fit perfectly into any and really don't care. Would you want your first child to have your hair color? ???? I don't care about their hair lol?????? It would depend on the hypothetical father, in which case I'd probably find it cute, but this is so, so unimportant. Do you enjoy writing in cursive? Yeah, it just feels good and flowy to me. What is your favorite hair color? Natural? Probably blonde with natural darker undertones throughout. I like blonde hair because it's far easier to dye, haha. Now, if we're including DYED hair, rose gold or pastel pink is *chefs kiss* What is your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue, probz. Would you put your birthday on a different day if you could? Nah, it's fine where it is. What holiday is your birthday closest to? Valentine's. Do you vent on social media a lot? NOOOOOOOO. I barely post ANYTHING about myself on social media because I feel like I'm being annoying, self-absorbed, find anything I do actually interesting, or don't want people to think I'm a whiner. All I ever really do on social media is share or reblog funny shit, things I love, stuff I find relatable or inspirational, educational, important for whatever reason, etc... Do you have abusive parents? I am very thankful to say no. Is your house haunted? Doesn't seem like it. What's your favorite thing to watch on YouTube? I'm in a real WoW-related phase lately... Watching my favorite streamers, gold farming guides, and other various aspects of the game. What are five health problems that you have? I talk about the mental issues enough, so I guess I'll talk about physical stuff here. Uhhh I have very low blood pressure (it's a med side effect), I have extremely weak legs following muscle atrophy, I have bad tremors, especially in my hands (amplified by medication once again), maybe TMI but we're adults here and it's a legit issue that I have chronic and severe conspitation, aaaand then of course I have hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) to a fucking outrageous and also humiliating degree. Ooooonce again as a prescription side effect. This answer made meds sound kinda bad, I know, but really, I'd rather have the will to live and just have to deal with these than want to die everyday and not. Do you have surgery coming up? No, let's keep it that way until I lose enough weight and when I am 110% getting loose skin removal. Which family member(s) do you look the most like? My sisters, ig. People say my mom also, but I honestly don't see it. Have you ever cried while watching a YouTube video? Yeah, usually just in let's plays, but it's happened for other reasons. Are you missing a website that just shut down? Nah, none that I know of. NO. FUCKING WAIT. So, when my laptop was fixed, a LOT of shit was wiped from it, and that included all of my goddamn Lightroom editing presets. The site they were from no longer exists, so I had to use a different, pretty sub-par one to install at least a few because it helps me get a start on editing the photograph and leaning towards the "vibe" I want before spending like 15+ minutes tuning it myself. Would you be a barefoot bride? No. Which would you rather name your daughter: Eliana, Echo, Emerald, or Ellery? Ohhh, I like these. I think I prefer "Eliana," but "Echo" is a close second. "Ellery" is nice, but it sounds too much like "celery" to name my kid that lmao. Which would you rather name your son: Maverick, Matthew, or Moses? Ugh, none, honestly. But "Matthew" wins. When was the last time you gave a speech? Like a *legit" speech? Probably not since uhhh... I guess when I argued my disability case at court? Does that even count? Have you ever been in a stampede? Well, never seen this'n in a survey before, so good job, lol. No. If you were a fairy, what color would you like your wings to be? It would depend on what I wore, really. And my hair. But probably light pink. Would you rather name your son Storm, Skylar, Sorin, or Solomon? "Sorin." "Skylar" is SO Southern, and "Solomon" sounds like the creepy kid all his classmates avoid and I ain't putting my kid through that. Did you read a devotional this morning? Not my jam. Would you rather be named Arizona, Alaska, Cali, or Georgia? Hm... "Alaska" is actually kinda cool???? And I'm white as fuck so lol????? I wouldn't mind to nickname of "Ally," anyway. Are you repulsed by ugly reptiles? lololol bro get out Did all your friends know about your first crush or was it a secret? I was definitely secretive and shy about it when I first started getting crushes. Do you ever feel insecure about going out without makeup? I feel insecure either way, so... How many different natural hair colors are there in your immediate family? So, this is a hard question to answer. My mom was born with brown hair, but it darkened to almost black; only her daughter Katie inherited that. By some genetic magic, Dad had blond hair as a kid, but it also turned black. Like... how?????? I was born with dirty blonde hair like him, and mine turned an average brown with age. My immediate sisters have always had brown hair. What is your favorite online game? World of Warcraft is ballin'. Would you ever want to be famous and sign autographs? Ha, the idea of signing autographs is awful... I can't physically write very long without my carpal tunnel flaring up. Do you like your shirt to be loose or tight? LOOSE. Especially as a bigger person, tight shirts are just really uncomfortable. What is your favorite Spanish name? I don't know nearly enough to answer this. Would you rather visit Asia or Europe? I think Asia is, in general, more interesting and prettier as a whole, but I guess I'm drawn to European culture being more like my own and there are specific locations I'm interested in, like Germany or Scotland. So to answer the question, I guess Europe wins. Are there any Asians in your family? I don't believe so. Have you ever had colored braces? Haha yeah, I did that when I had them. Do you take birth control pills? Yes, just for period cramps. Without them, they can be immobilizing for me. If you live in the USA: do you feel free and safe? Ha, no. Well, not *entirely*. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? I was recovering from the stomach virus, if that counts. As in I still got sick the day before and felt iffy on my actual bday. 17th, I think? Is talking about your past painful for you? Yes. Are you a member of any support groups online? I'm a member of The Mighty site, if that counts. When I'm feeling very, very sound of mind and helpful without all the negativity being a detriment to myself, I do like going on there and trying to help or comfort people. Have you ever called a suicide hotline? Yes, and the line was busy, and that's when I decided I was a goner. Do you ever fantasize about revenge? I uhhhhh... sometimes. What's a movie you would recommend to someone who never watches movies? Ohhh, that's hard. I don't really watch movies either, and I'm trying to think of one that essentially anyone would like, so hm. Oh, Coco is absolutely a possibility. That movie touched me so, so deeply and is high on my favorites list. It's impossible to not feel the emotions. Do you want to have grandkids? Hell, I don't want kids. Do you want to be an aunt or uncle? I already am one, and I love being an aunt. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I don't remember their names or characters in general. Did you make a lot of home videos growing up? I mean *I* didn't, but Mom filmed quite a few. Do you enjoy babysitting? NO. What's an unpopular opinion that you have? Avoiding some political ones, uhhhh. OH. HERE'S ONE. THE SCENE AESTHETIC IS FUCKING CUTE AND NOT CRINGEY AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ABOUT IT. Are you attracted to the opposite gender, same gender, or both? Both are A+. Was your first crush on someone of the same gender or opposite? Opposite. As a kid, I didn't even fathom the concept that women could date women. What is something you'll never eat again? Why? Brussel sprouts. Fucking disgusting. What is currently happening that is scaring you? Besides the very obvious answer of "Covid," I worry about my mom a lot. She's so weakened after all the chemo and meds and can do literally less than I can without heavily breathing and sweating. I just worry a lot that cancer will return sooner than we hope; I don't want it to EVER come back, but doctors say it is very, very likely at one point or another because she was so very close to Stage 4. What would be your personal hell? Being completely and entirely isolated forever while somewhere hot and humid, lol. And play one of my trigger songs on repeat eternally. What made the "weird kid" at your school weird? There was this poor guy named Alfred that was VERY clearly depressed out of his mind, and I heard him speak maybe once through all of high school, and the entire class couldn't believe it. He always sat way in the back and never smiled. I wonder how he is nowadays. What is a word you personally find offensive? "Retarded" personally offends me the most when misused and spoken as an insult. What instantly puts you to sleep? Now that is HARD to do; I have a ridiculously hard time going to sleep. The easiest way though would probably be me being drained from an emotional breakdown. That is so exhausting that I'm capable of crashing pretty fast and hard. What song is in a language you don't speak, but you love it anyway? I adore Rammstein, so there's plenty. I'll probably say "Donaukinder" is their best. What is something you would like to do if you weren’t judged for doing it? I keep that I RP a complete secret in my "real" life for this reason unless it's like, pried out of me. What's a movie you think everyone should watch? Why that one? Johnny Got His Gun. See how goddamn disgusting war is. What was the most unexpected good thing that's ever happened to you? Ha, realizing I was bisexual after once being homophobic. What is the funniest fact you know? Oh man, I know a lot of random trivia shit, really, so it's hard to say. Maybe that quokkas throw their offspring at predators to distract and escape from them... As awful as that is, c'mon, you gotta admit it's funny and shocking with just how adorable they are. What was your 'mic drop' moment? Oh, I don't know. Possibly when I publicly came out as bi on Facebook and made it abundantly clear that I gave no shits about some homophobic friends and family & I was beyond willing to let anyone's ass go over it. What's the kindest way a stranger has treated you? I remember as a kid at McDonald's, the woman in front of our car paid for our food; apparently seeing a mom, dad, and three kids in a van was enough that she wanted to just be kind and give us a smile. We have no idea who she was, never saw her face or anything, she was just a sweet woman. What is the biggest design flaw of your body? Okay, I'm going to let go of all hatred for my body weight-wise and just think of this as from a strictly natural design perspective, in which case I'd say my toes are too small. What age are you afraid of turning and why? 30, because I'm terrified of getting there and seeing I've possibly gone nowhere. What is the strangest thing you have ever felt? I'm keeping this question in just because I think there could be some interesting answers for others, but I'm witholding my answer because nobody wants or needs to know lmao. What makes someone immediately unlikable? Acting better than others and belittling. Who's a villain you sympathize with and why? D A R K I P L I E R because of his origins and overall purpose and just simply existing. What is something you regret to NOT have done? I have this oddly weird regret of not going like, all-all the way with He Who Shall Not Be Named????? Idk why though????? Considering I loved him way too much and I was a reckless and impulsive person who probably at some point would have wound up accidentally pregs????? What a fuckin trip that woulda been. What movie changed your life for the better? None have really "changed my life." What book you think should be directed as a film? Oh, idk. Most I can think of have been. Of all the decades you've lived in, which one have you liked best? The 2000s, probably. A carefree kid. How are you doing today? I'm exhausted. While out with Mom and my sisters yesterday, we got behind a van whose driver was obviously drunk or high off his goddamn ass, and he was swerving EVERYWHERE, nearly shoving so many cars off the road. Mom called 911 to get in contact with highway patrol to report his dumb fucking ass in. I was having an absolute panic attack and cried quietly like the entire 45 or so minute drive home. I was just so, so upset because this is why I don't fucking drive, and I felt like I'd made my sister (who was driving) mad because she had to firmly tell me I had to calm down (I was hyperventilating and talking to myself to try to calm down) if she was going to focus and keep us safe. She later ensured me she wasn't mad, but I still wasn't the same the entire rest of the day. Anyway, I slept hard last night but had two nightmares, so I'm still really tired today. I'm trying to keep myself really distracted. What's something your relatives don't know about you? A whole lot really, considering beyond my very immediate family, I see almost nobody because they live many states away. What's something your parents did, which you have sworn never to do? Mom would spank us or slap an arm pretty hard if my sisters or I misbehaved or "disrespected" her by "talking back." I'm not having kids, but I would never, ever, ever, put my hands on them in any way that isn't loving. You do not teach children via inflicting fear. I also have this probably overly strong aversion to beer because that's what Dad always drank as an alcoholic. I'll probably never try it, not that I really want to because it smells awful. What's the most annoying thing your pet does? I feel like "annoying" is the wrong word for this, but Roman (my cat) can be incredibly demanding of attention and to lie on me when I'm on the laptop in bed, and sometimes I just want space and be able to clearly see the screen, haha. He will legit meow like a baby and gently swat my arm sometimes if I try to keep him back. Heeee usually gets his way. As for Venus (snek), she does nothing "annoying" either, but rather a bit concerning to a snake mom: she is usually very slow to find and strike her food. I feed her frozen/thawed mice, and she will first slither around her entire cage, tongue flicking and clearly looking for her food, even though I always place it atop the same spot on her hide, and she can have her head RIGHT beside it and still do nothing. She ultimately generally eats (as a ball python though, she's a picky eater and will occasionally reject a meal), but I of course wonder why she's odd about dinnertime... As a champagne, she does have the notorious "spider gene" in her, which can cause neurological issues, but idk if something like this could be related.

[cousinslavellan-archive]

I don't know anything about your mass effect characters but I would love to! What classes are they in game? Any romances?

@inkberrry Oh boy I hope you’re okay with a long-ish post cause uh I’ve got a few! For the sake of both of our sanity’s I’ll stick with the main list and not kiddos oops…

My main Shepard is Arisa Shepard! She’s a Garrus-mancer - typically, if I’m writing Shakarian, it’s Arisa I’m picturing/writing. She’s an Adept Paragade in game - leaning mostly Paragon with a few Renegade interrupts. She more or less looks like default femshep with short-short hair.

(I have an AU series where she and Garrus get married near the end events of ME2 and she never goes into lockdown that I… need to finish someday oops)

My second Shepard is Willow Shepard - a Thane-mancer that’s also a paragade, but took more renegade then her cousin Arisa! I tend to connect like… all my characters so, most of my stories are interconnected in some way. (I’m ridiculous I know). Willow features in the fics The Other Shepard and Falling For the Prey, both thankfully finished!! I write her as a Vanguard, although I play her as an Adept because I can’t do close combat ever ;;;

Her main fic is a sadder one as she passes about the same time as Thane - altho that does not happen the way it does in game - but oneshots make it slightly better haha. She’s another redhead! Tho I haven’t beaten ME3 with her cause… Thane;;;

Swapping to Andromeda, I only have one Ryder - because I got stupid attached to Aria and wrote a very very long fic that was meant to be a couple of oneshots. Oops. I actually played Andromeda first, so Aria was my first ME character/OC period!

She’s mostly a casual person, thrown into the mess that it is Andromeda, biotic… of course… cause long range cough… and a redhead, as seems to be a theme for my ME ‘PCs’. She’s a Jaal-mancer who’s insanely curious about everything - The Misadventures of Aria Ryder can attest to that curiosity lmao.

She and Jaal have one biological hybrid daughter, two adoptive sons, a border collie, and Jaal’s niece Tela pretty much lives at their house post-game. She’s the youngest of these three women, but she’s accomplished a lot.

OKAY NOW ONTO TOTAL OC’S… I’m so sorry omg…

Rose Evans and Rainer Vakarian are an unlikely pair that spawned in my brain from my last playthrough of Andromeda - set in the same universe as Misadventures, post game, Rose is an Initiative botanist and Rainer’s a merc mostly just looking out for himself. Opposites attract, right? These one’s definitely do! 

Lily Anne Evans is Rose’s twin - who Rose initially believed had been killed in the Geth attack on a Citadel, before she left for Andromeda. She’d survived but been in the hospital in a coma, awakening with amnesia that eventually lifted.

She’s an N7 soldier who’s sent to Palaven as a sort of liaisen to help with a joint Turian-Human training regimen - where she meets up with and falls for Tiberius Ramas, who belongs to the lovely @wafflesrock16 ♥

Lily and Tibs also feature in an - omg - Soul Mate AU titled Broken Souls, because I’m ridiculous, as I’ve said lmao. It’s a lot of fun and I owe Waffles a ton for lending me Tibs.

Art by the ever amazing @savbakk ♥ Tibs and Lily on the left, Rose and Rainer on the right! ♥

AND FINALLY…. my newest pair of dorks, Regan Kelly and Teegan.

Regan is a colony kid - born blind in one eye, biotic, the quiet loner that just wants to work with her tech and be left alone. She ends up with Cerberus simply because she wants off the Colony and works on their security systems for years - she helps with Security for project Lazarus (tho she doesn’t know what the project is), and ends up on Omega during the Adjutant mess. She’s very disillusioned with Cerberus by that point, and ends up teaming up with a member of the Talons - Teegan - when they stumble into each other.

She’s a mix of engineer/sentinel, because she’s a techie biotic who has a drone named Terra (lololol cough) that stays as FAR AWAY FROM COMBAT AS POSSIBLE cause of her half-blindness. Teegan meanwhile left Palaven to escape the Cabal life (as he’s also biotic) and has been on Omega ever since, living life as a merc.

Art again by @savbakk ♥

FOR NOW I THINK THAT’S EVERYONE OMG I’M SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. Thank you for asking about them tho! I… hope this all makes sense? ;;;;

[yourgfdpunk]

Another tag meme

Answer 15 questions and tag 15 mutuals.

I was tagged by @femdomunicorn

1) Are you named after someone?

Nope, I'm sure not. Though my biological father tried to tell some nonsensical story about how a sheep spoke my name on the way to the hospital. 🙄

2) When was the last time you cried?

Earlier at work in my cubicle because I was feeling particularly depressed lolol

3) Do you have kids?

Lololol no. And I likely never will. I have a cat son, that's good enough for me.

4) Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yeah, I'm fluent in it XD

5) What's the first thing you notice about others?

Usually their mannerisms - their facial expressions, how they speak to others. It says a lot about their temperament and whether or not we'll get along.

6) What's your eye color?

Hazel, so it tends to fluctuate. Sometimes they're more brown, sometimes more green.

7) Scary movie or happy endings?

Depends on the day and my emotional state, but I'm generally not a fan of horror movies because the plots and characters are so stupid. But I love a good spoopy movie, like Hocus Pocus or Coraline.

8) Any special talents?

I pay really close attention to the people I care about, so I'm a stellar gift giver. I put a lot of thought into them and people always comment on how perfect they are.

9) Where were you born?

I was born in the middle of nowhere, a town called Dunkirk in the state of New York. It's about an hour south of Buffalo and fairly close to the Pennsylvania border, for geographic reference.

10) What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, making fun of shitty movies, board and video games, and doting on my cat.

11) Do you have any pets?

Yes, a good Fluff Boy named Merlin. Don't ask me what breed he is, he was born under a porch 😂

12) How tall are you?

5 ft 8 in

13) What sports do you play/have you played?

I played tennis in high school, but I was just an extra player that never got to play. 😂 I don't regularly play any sports now.

14) Favorite subject at school?

Tie between history and English. My history teachers tended to be much more engaging than my English teachers, but that was just my school in particular.

15) Dream job?

Editing books for a publishing company 😊

Thanks for thinking of me, friend! I'm not going to tag anyone cause that's not my jam. But feel free to tag me if you see this and want to do it on your own. 😊

[aquarianlights]

Omg, I just got goosebumps for you seeing the pics from Tulane!!! I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU AND HAPPY FOR YOU!!! You've worked so, so, so, so hard to get where you are right now and I'm over the moon that it's going the way it should be!!! You're a rockstar, sir, don't ever forget it!!!

Ahhh gosh THANK YOU!!!! It’s so good to hear from you!!!

I really have worked incredibly hard. I have never worked so hard in my life and that is not an exaggeration. It’s looking like I may finally have stability and permanence and something good. I have said that before, but could it actually be true this time? I’m not sure. All those other times, I never actually got a chance to get going into a routine and into an on-campus program or a long-term job. I would end up moving around too much and would find any excuse to force big change. I have no idea why, either.

I have absolutely NO idea why permanence has been such a HUGE problem for me since I turned 18. I mean, I only moved once in my entire life from the ages of…well, being born to the age of 18. And then I finally moved out for college at 18 and that was the second time I had moved in my ENTIRE life and that just started a nomadic process. I never intended it to be. I had intended to move to Jax and just…settle there till my bachelors and then move only for the sake of my masters degree and maybe my Doctorate, too. And then from there, move only for the sake of jobs and internships and work studies and such.

I have absolutely no idea why moving became such a big thing. I’m so aggravated that moving became such a big thing for me and that I could never make anywhere feel like home and that I *STILL* have yet to find anywhere that feels like home. Coz even my parents house certainly doesn’t feel like home. It feels like my own personal hell, honestly.

Why has permanence been such a ridiculous problem for me? I’ve been kept wondering all these years “when will it end?”

I’m hoping the answer to that question is “now”.

It was fun for a while, I will admit. Seeing new places, traveling the US, meeting new people and online friends all over the country, getting to experience new state feels (I would say cultures but uh…states don’t really have their own “cultures”, do they? lmao), getting to explore who I am in all sorts of different situations, getting to “find myself”… That was great and all, but it was also incredibly lonely, emotionally taxing, occasionally traumatizing, and monetarily draining. I began craving permanence years ago.

Everyone always said they envied me for being able to just…get up and go travel around the country at will and still stay in college and finish my degree via online courses. Everyone was always so envious of how I lived my life…just taken by the wind wherever it felt like leading me and being as impulsive as the most extreme borderline can be (typical me, sigh).

But I always secretly envied everyone else. The second I got exactly what I craved in a place (an apartment, a house, city life, suburban life…), I would want the exact opposite to an extreme extent. I was living in a very suburban “city” (which was so spread out that I hesitate to call it a city at all…it was a college *TOWN* with a downtown area that had a night life) and we were so far out that it was quiet af and I was just staying temporarily until my medical issues cleared enough for me to go back to NOLA because I couldn’t stay with my parents anymore and my roommates wanted to move FURTHER away and into a neighbourhood and such…and all I wanted then was to go right smack dab into the middle of the fucking French Quarter (aka, like the middle of Times Square or the middle of Boston, etc…) and just get an apartment above one of the shops there. And I would have done it, too, if I had had the money and the physical ability. And then I would have absolutely hated it because that is ridiculous and I would have wanted peace and quiet and would have moved as far away as possible or even gone back to my parents house in the middle of NO WHERE in the woods in that tiny town of barely anyone where I am isolated from everyone…and then I would have been beyond miserable THERE and I would have moved back to NOLA where I could have an extreme city atmosphere again and the cycle repeats.

Now? Now I have found a wonderful apartment in Metairie which is a suburb but with a city vibe to it. It’s not the kind of place you are walking around and it’s not densely populated like cities are—it’s spread out—but it is right outside the real city parts of New Orleans and it has shopping malls and hotels and lots and lots and lots of shops everywhere.

But I’m going to be living alone in quite the lavish apartment. Sun-room, sky lights, vaulted ceilings…washer and dryer inside my apartment…and it’s cheap as fuck for a Metairie apartment, too. Since it’s owned by a corporate place that has complexes all over New Orleans [I think I counted over 20 complexes], they can afford to keep their rent ridiculously low. I honestly couldn’t believe I had found it. It wasn’t advertised on zillow or trulia or anything…I found it indirectly so I got really lucky because I almost ended up in Harahan a bazillion miles away from everything lololol. And I was hoping to move back to Metairie since I lived there before.

However…when I lived alone before (the one and only time I’ve ever lived alone), it was absolutely DISASTROUS…so I’m terrified it’s going to go that way again. But somehow I just don’t think it is—I don’t think it will for many reasons that I won’t get into unless someone asks coz they’re very specific and good advice for anyone younger looking to move for the first time or anyone who has had similar problems with permanence/moving too much. I know your struggle. And even though I don’t know WHY it happens, I know how to fix it. Haven’t put it all into practice yet, but I move on the 1st so…we’ll see!

But to think that permanence may be a legitimate thing for me now?

I told my mother that I would be staying here for 2-3 years this time when I moved back. I knew in the back of my mind that I really didn’t mean that. I ALWAYS say it, but when does it actually happen? Never. It has never happened even once. I used to go into it saying it AND believing it, but these past few months, I’ve given up believing it. And now all of a sudden, it’s becoming a reality.

And I think it’s because I actually have all of this motivation out of NO WHERE…and because my depression is gone.

Why do I have all of this motivation out of no where and why is my depression gone?

Because I’ve *FINALLY* found my purpose in life.

I was fucking MEANT to be a surgeon.

I knew I was meant to work in the medical field from the moment I was cognizant. I just always thought I was meant to work in the veterinary medicine field! If only I had known ALL THIS TIME that I couldn’t work in the veterinary medicine field…it would have saved me so much trouble.

I am CONSTANTLY wondering nowadays whether I would have done well or not if I had gone into veterinary medicine right off the bat in my freshman year in 2010 and figured out that I wasn’t meant for veterinary medicine and switched to human medicine. I am wondering this every day because I didn’t have the drive I have now and I was going to college for my PARENTS in 2010 and was going for them only for a few years and you can see it in my grades and my GPA. You can very literally see in my grades and GPA when I started going to school for myself and not my parents. When I started enjoying school and actually caring about college. And I had SUCH severe depression that I was cutting every day and doing so many drugs and drinking so heavily that I was an alcoholic. A severe alcoholic. I’d go as far as to say I was a drunk back then. I woke up with a drunk. I drank all day. I couldn’t sleep without alcohol. That went on for literal years. And the drugs were worse than ever then. I was attempting suicide so often that it was almost every other day. I was hospitalized so many times that my medical bills were through the damn roof and I was institutionalized so many times that I had to drop out of college at one point for two whole semesters.

So I just constantly wonder what would have happened if that incident with the golden retriever in 7th grade hadn’t have happened and I hadn’t have given up on veterinary medicine and I had believed I could do it and had believed I was smart enough and that I wasn’t an idiot and I constantly wonder whether I would have made it through and actually started to be happy and had my depression go into remission or something of that nature if I had tried veterinary medicine and found out I couldn’t perform my job correctly and then gone for human medicine instead and discovered how INCREDIBLE I am at it and realized I would one day be a surgeon (hopefully).

I have thought about this thoroughly…and I have mostly come to the conclusion that it would have made me more depressed because I could barely do the bare minimum of my course work then and it was such light coursework that it makes my high school and middle school homework assignments seem ridiculously heavy. I thought maybe IB and the few AP and Honours classes that I took (coz they weren’t offered at IB level yet) in high school had just over-prepared me, but no. I just wasn’t in my core classes yet.

And since was just barely scraping by in those classes by doing the bare minimum of the assignments and barely EVER coming to class when I was in on-campus classes and not online classes, I don’t think I would have passed ANY of my veterinary courses to ever even get a feel for whether I could do it or not. And if I had taken ANY of the premed courses I took this past semester……….. Idk if you’ve seen my medical instagram (medschoolmaverick), but the AMOUNT OF WORK AND EFFORT THAT WENT INTO JUST THOSE THREE SUMMER CLASSES WAS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!

When I was at school, I would be staying on campus and doing work. Between classes, I was working. Before class, I was working. After class, I was working. When I got home, I was working until it was time to sleep. I’d get up early to do work at home before getting ready for school. I’d listen to my class recordings while getting ready. I listen to my class recordings while driving everywhere. I listen to my class recordings while mindlessly making flashcards or doing anything else that is a mindless activity (instead of listening to music or watching netflix or whatever). On the weekends, I would study with my study group. When it was time to split up, I would go home and work on the assignments that were due Monday. Sunday was my ONLY day off. That was the day I would do laundry, catch up on cleaning and whatever else needed to be done…all while listening to class recordings and in between quizzing myself with flashcards and doing whatever work needed to be done or going over notes.

The amount of work I put into those classes was……was beyond anything little Killian was capable of. I don’t think little Killian would have passed, to be honest. And that would have made him even more depressed and would have increased his suicide attempts…and would have made everything worse. Because he would have thought “Oh. So I can’t do anything, then. I can’t even do the one thing I’m passionate about. I guess I can’t major in anything.” and then when I finally got rid of my depression years later at around age 25…I wouldn’t have tried to pursue medicine again and that would have been an enormous loss.

So…you know what? I’m glad I didn’t start until now. If I hadn’t have had all those horrible issues, I would have been angry at myself. But I DID have all those horrible issues, so it’s just better this way. …………..isn’t it?

I hope I’m right.

It just sucks that I’m going to be in my 30′s when I start my residency. I’ve talked to professionals about it and they say I actually have an advantage over other residents because of my age. I will have more life experience to draw from and should be much more confident, among many other things they listed. 

But then there’s the fact I do have osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, ehlers danlos type 3, 5 herniated discs [4 lumbar, 1 cervical], and microfractures along my spine and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it except try horrendously dangerous procedures that could ruin my life forever and take my medical career away from me like an epidural, spinal block injection, trigger point injections, or even surgery. Those are my only options left. I have NOTHING else…

My new Rheumatologist put me on an NSAID called Etodolac and it seems to be helping but not enough. I still can’t get out of bed in the mornings and have to wait a whole hour for it + my narcotics to kick in. And I still have to use it in tandem with my narcotics. But I have been able to lower my narcotic dosage. Whether I do or not depending on the day is a choice now. I only have to take three-four pills a day regarding my narcotics as long as I take my two Etodolac on time. Whether I take the ~20 narcotic pills a day is now completely a choice whereas it wasn’t before. The Etodolac helped THAT SIGNIFICANTLY. I just maybe need to be able to increase the dose or something…I’m not sure.

ANYWAYS…I’ve ranted long enough. I haven’t been able to rant to anyone in a LONG fucking time and I ALWAYS feel safe ranting to you so…here I am LMAO. But I’m gonna shut up now coz I desperately need to go to bed. I have to purchase my textbooks tomorrow and somehow hope they are in e-book form because I physically cannot be carrying the physical books around campus with me. :/ Idk what to do for the rest of my life…I can’t carry heavy things on my back in a backpack like normal people or in a messenger bag off my shoulder like normal people and I have to be so much more mindful of my spinal health…but I need to be able to get to classes on time so I can’t be going to my car all the time, you know?? And I don’t know how many books will have e-books in the future of my schooling. I have a good decade of schooling ahead of me, ya know, between residency and all! For all of those years in school… for the next minimum of 7 years, I need to be able to carry an INSANE amount of books and medical equipment. I don’t know how to do it with all these issues. No one else I know who is in school has these issues to contend with…no one else has to carry this amount of stuff on their back on a daily basis. I just don’t know how to do it. It’s been suggested I get a rolling bag…but I’d really rather not…

This is my Fall semester schedule:

Like…how the FUCK do I carry that kind of weight? Ya feel??? I need to get e-books and keep the physical copies at home. I’m gonna talk to them about it tomorrow, but… :| We’ll see.

I’m just SO SO SO excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really really am!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe it’s finally happening. I can’t believe it’s finally real. I just…it’s really happening. I—Killian Roswell—am going to Tulane University!!! I can’t even believe this is reality. I just cannot even fathom that this happened.

It’s fucking real. Haha. Incredible. :)

I’m so damn happy!!

Thank you for being proud of me…because I really did work hard. I worked hard to get into Honours Society, too. And I worked hard to try to get into Phi Theta Kappa, but I wasn’t accepted because my GPA was slightly too low, but she’s allowing me to come to meetings because of how close my GPA is and I’m expecting to bring it up by next semester so I’m expecting to join Phi Theta Kappa for my last semester at Delgado.

Okay I really need to stop ranting now.

I have a BIG day tomorrow!!!

I am actually hoping that books don’t take too long because…I’m actually hoping to do a little something tomorrow that is going to shock everyone depending on how much my books cost. :)

Goodnight. THANK YOU!!! Sorry to rant for so long. I just really, really needed to. Haha.

[lemonadeandrice]

Anotha one (spoilers)

- Mike wears black high top keds!!

- He doesn’t like Wheaties but he’ll eat them to get the prize

- He wakes up at 5 am jesus even on summer vacation

- Mike finds Eddie Corcoran’s pocket knife and the place where he was murdered

- “Remember the bird, remember the bird...”

- He saw the bird at the Kitchener Iron Works

- He knew spring was here when his father asked him to help push the truck out of the barn

- The front was a model a ford car the back a pick up bed with a tailgate made from an old hen house door

- It had no doors or windshield

- His father’s name is Will

- Is father dies (?) in a hospital much later in Mike’s life

- He and his mother call him Mikey

- He and his father seem to have an amazing relationship

- “Those rides were Mike Hanlon’s door into spring.”

- Son of a whore confused him

- He has seen the word ‘whore’ in the Bible and thought it referred to a woman from Babylon

- He asks Richie what it means

- Richie’s father apparently told him it was a woman who has sex with men for money

- To which mike asks “What’s having sex?” Bless

- Mike’s dad smokes

- “I love you daddy.”

- “Why, I love you too Mikey.”

- Mike’s dad calls his mother ‘the good woman’ omg so cute

- Mike has 5% stock in the farm

- He likes winter, thinks he might like skis for Christmas

- His father buds his love of history

- He sends him on trips sometimes to find souvenirs and then when he comes back, he and his father will look at the Derry photo album his dad made

- One day he sends him to the field where the Kitchener iron works is

- This is where Mike sees It

- My bb boi is a fighter!!

- But he isn’t stupid

- It appears to him as a giant bird like Rodan almost mechanical looking (we find out why later)

- He hurts it because he throws things at it and screams at it (fuck it up Mikey!!!!!!)

- When he goes home, his dad recognizes his fear and tells him he never has to go back there

- Eddie is good with just knowing directions and can drive with ease around Boston - supposedly the hardest city in America to navigate

- Chucks = chuckles = laughs

- “Man he had hated it when Richie called him Eds. But he had sort of liked it too.”

- He, Bill, and Ben build a dam in the Barrens so good it floods the underside

- Alllsssoiioooooo Eddie loves Bill - would even have died for him if it was asked of him (!!)

- It says he loves him like a brother or a father (but hey whatever works man)

- Stan is their age but joined school a year late because he was a very sick child

- RICHIE AND STAN!!!!! 😍😍😍

- Richie pinches Eddie’s cheek a lot, obvs

- “Have any good chucks lately?”

- Richie smokes Winston!! And Bill and Ben both take one as well

- Three on a match; bad luck

- “Bad luck for your parents when you were born!” Richie Jesus

- “Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should.”

- Eddie has known Richie for four years, so since they were 7

- Richie can’t keep still very long, and he can’t keep his mouth shut at all

- He got As and Bs on his schoolwork and Cs and Ds in conduct

- Eddie and Richie hang out and read comics at Eddie’s house

- Richie has a dozen voices (they all sound like Richie)

- He wants to be the world’s greatest ventriloquist

- “The best part of you ran down your father’s leg.” Bill

- “True, but look how much good stuff was left.” Richie

- “cute cuTE CUTE!!!!”

- Stan “The Man” Uris

- “He killed Jesus.” “I think that might have been my father.”

- yowza yowZA YOWZA jesus Lord

- Ben and Stan were in the same second grade class together

- Holy Christ Richie is a queen I forgot lololol

- Toodles the English Butler, the German Commandant, the Southern Senator are some of Richie’s other voices (turns into Bueford Kissdrivel when he is an adult)

- Stan has a bird notebook (!!!)

- “At that moment, the others seemed like the greater bunch of guys to chum with a guy could ever hope to have. They felt right together, they fitted neatly against each other’s edges.”

- Ben does not like the taste of cigarettes

- Bill starts to tell them about seeing It, Eddie doesn’t know what he’s going to say but he doesn’t want to hear it

- He tells them, and Eddie thinks he has never heard him stutter so badly

- All of the others (even Richie have the same face, one of fear)

- Then he thinks of the leper...

- He saw him six weeks before the dam building in the Barrens

[100feetoffandomtrash]

Pregnancy Headcanons: Mystic Messenger

I’m a sucker for prengancy-related headcanons/one-shots/roleplays. I’m weird I know. Anyway here are some pregnancy headcanons for the RFA (slightly nsfw)(obvious spoilers)(Cussing)

Order: Yoosung, Zen, Jumin, Jaehee, Seven, Saeran, V

Yoosung

¤ Oh our little innocent cinnamonbun Yoosung isn’t so innocent

¤ Infact, 4/5 times he initiates the frickity-frackity

¤ Just so happens, though, that condom was expired

¤ And it was evident when it had broken

¤ And he had begun to panic

    × “it’s leaking- Wait it’s leaking, MC it’s leaking what do we do? Ahh-”

¤ He ended up running out and buying like 5 pregnancy test

¤ But the baby factory doesn’t work like that so they all came back negative.

¤ So he thought you were fine

¤ Until two weeks later when-

     × “Oh my God, MC are you okay? You sound like your dying”

¤ You made him buy more pregnancy test

    × “But the 5 you took before came back negative”

¤ He ended up buying 7 more, cause

    × “One of them could be faulty”

¤ You took 7 test, 5 of which back positive

¤ So Yoosung begun freaking out even more

    × “MC I’m so sorry I should have checked the expiration date this is all my fault”

¤ You couldn’t help but laugh

¤ That laughter quickly turn to tears because holy fuck your having a tiny human.

¤ Cue more panic from Yoosung

    × “MC?? No MC don’t cry or I’ll start crying too! MC”

¤ And here we have two crying grown children

¤ When the two of you finally calmed the hell down you begun to talk about it

    × You both came to the conclusion that you both weren’t ready for a responsibility of this magnitude and that the best option for the child would be for them do go into adoption

¤ Despite all that, Yoosung still did everything to make you comfortable

    × Mc.Rognalds at 4am? He’s got you covered. 

    × Extra pillows, even if that leaves him with none? Alright. 

     × Missing out on the most important, once in a life time quest, just so he can cuddle when you ask?

          € “Sorry guys, I have to do something Irl”

¤ When you *finally* go into labour, he freaks out, and you end up having to call the ambulance because he’s not calm enough to take you himself.

¤ Labour ends, and he probably won’t be able to use that hand for a while

¤ And then the doctor asks a simple question

     × “Would you both like to see the baby before signing the adoption papers?”

¤ You both kinda look at each other, silently deciding.

¤ And then he nods, and you nod, and the doctor goes off to get the baby.

¤ The baby is completely healthy. Perfect weight, and with bright violet eyes and just a little (H/c) hair.

¤ And as you get to hold the baby for a few minutes, he kinda just stares in awe.

¤ And the silence is broken

     × “MC”

     × “Yeah…”

     × “They… they kinda look like us, huh?”

     × “Mmhmm. They have your eyes”

     × “ And your hair… MC?”

     × “Yes, Yoosung?”

     × “Do you maybe wanna keep them? I mean I know we’re not really ready but people aren’t always ready, and maybe we can do it”

¤ And that was all it took.

 ÷BONUS÷

     × Yoosung has joined the chat

     × Mc has joined the chat

     × Mc: As many of you may have known, I was pregnant for the past 9 months

     × Zen: wait what?

     × Jaehee: I don’t believe you informed us

     × 707: Lololol they didn't 

     × Mc: Great news:

     × Yoosung: We’re keeping them!

     × Yoosung has left the chat

     × Mc has left the chat 

     × Zen: They’re joking right?

Zen

¤ Oh boy

¤ It was a common wonder if you were pregnant with this one.

¤ Because it was constantly

     × “Condoms can take the pleasure out of sex”

¤ That and birth control was a difficult thing to remember.

¤ So you kept a few pregnancy test

     × More like a box filled with them

¤ So when you took 2 test, and they both came back positive, you weren’t shocked

¤ But you decided to tell him in a more fun way

¤ So you bought baby carrots, a baby bottle and a pacifier 

¤ But when you got home, he was already there

¤ And holding a stick with pee

     × “Mc are you pregnant”

     × “Yes”

¤ You were disappointed because you had bought so much stuff to surprise him and he had found out in other means.

¤ But then he hugged you

     × “Mc I promise I’m going to be the best father that I can be, and I’ll always support the baby”

¤ And aww Zenny

¤ And then he proposed

     × “I know I don’t have a ring right now but marry me please”

     × “Of course”

¤ And waterworks come in, and well yeah its a happy day.

¤ He still does his plays, but will call you at every minute of the hour to make sure your okay

¤ If you want something, he will liTTERLY PAUSE REHERSAL SO HE CAN GO GET IT AND BRING IT TO YOU

     × “Zen where are you going?”

     × “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few minutes”

¤ Gets introuble alot, until he finally explains to the director whats going on

¤ When you go into labour, he’s in the middle of the real-deal play

¤ So his phone isn’t nearby

¤ When he finally hears the message he freaks out and runs to the hospital

¤ like litterly runs

¤ He gets there just on time, and won’t stop apologizing

     × “MC I’m so sorry, you know the premire was today and I didn’t have my phone on me”

     × “Stop apologizing and get over here”

¤ Push

¤ It’s a healthy baby.

¤ You got to hold the baby for about a minute before he starts complaining

     × “Come on MC I want to hold them too”

     × You’d glare at him “I just pushed them out of my va-jay-jay after holding them in my stomach for 9 months, I believe I can hold them longer than a minute”

¤ A happy little family

Jumin

¤ It wasn’t like you two were trying

¤ But you weren’t not trying either

¤ It was more of a if it happens it happens thing.

¤ So when it happened you were happy.

¤ You, ofcourse, went to the doctor first and got yourself checked

¤ And yep, 4 weeks pregnant.

¤ You managed to convice the doctor to give you a sonogram right there and then and you got a copy of it

¤ Now to tell Jumin

¤ You made his favourite dinner, made the table look nice.

¤ Four plates, one for you, another for Jumin, one for Elizabeth and finally one for the unborn child

¤ On the plate of the missing guest, the envelope that had the sonogram layed there. 

¤ When he gets home and dinner begins he’s absolutely confused 

    × “MC are we expecting guest?”

¤ Finally he notices the envelope, and becomes more curious

¤ He looks over at you, and you give him a nod that screams “Just open it already”

¤ So he does

¤ And he kinda stares at it for a while

¤ And you can’t read any emotion on his face

¤ And there’s just silence

¤ Until

    × “Is this a sonogram?”

    × “Yes”

    × “Is this your sonogram”

    × “Yes”

    × “Did you hear that Elizabeth 3rd? You will be a sister" 

¤ He eventually gets up and gives you a nice little kiss, that though it’s not too long means alot

¤ It’s joyous moment

¤ Low key scared that he will end up like his father

¤ When you find out you comfort him

     × ” Your father is your father, and you’re you"

¤ Now this boy will not let you do anything

¤ Right after the dinner, he hired a maid specifically for your needs only, durring the day time

¤ And at night when you get your cravings, he will get anything needed

¤ Well he won’t, but Jaehee will.

     × “Assistant Kang, I need you to buy some cheese with barbecue sauce and peanut butter”

     × “Mr.Han its 3:45 in the morning, where will I find that-”

     × He’s already hung up.

¤ And oooh boy, that baby hasn’t been born yet and already its been spoiled rotten.

¤ A nursery fit for royalty.

¤ Best toys

¤ And not to mention appointments 10 times a week

¤ Only the finest of doctors for his baby

¤ When you’re close to the due date he finds a way to work from home

¤ He convinces you to get a C-Section so that it doesn’t pain you as much

¤ Jumin Han? More like Daddy Han

¤ He won’t stop posting pictures of the baby and Elizabeth 3rd on the messenger

Jaehee 

¤ It happened while you two were on a break. 

¤ An open break

¤ And you were… well… drunk

¤ Pretty much a one night stand with no protection

¤ Eventually you an Jaehee did get back together like a week later

¤ And a week after that you weren’t feeling so hot

     × nausea, hungry, moody

¤ Felt like your period but the blood was missing

¤ Eventually Jaehee took you to your doctor.

¤ Your doctor ran the same test 5 times

¤ Finally they simply asked you if “You had been sexually active with a male”

¤ To which you reply no

¤ And a few seconds later Maybe/Yes

¤ Jaehee just like ??? What

¤ And then the news

     × “MC you’re pregnant”

¤ They leave you two alone to talk because he knows something happened

¤ There was silence for a few minutes

¤ And then you could hear Jaehee choke back a sob

     × “MC I thought you would have been different… I thought this would have been different”

¤ You begin to explain to her how it all happened and when

¤ It makes it better but not completely okay

¤ It takes a few months for her to completely over it 

¤ Once it gets to that point, shes ecstatic over the baby

¤ She always seems to have just what you need 

    × “Jaehee do you mind getting me a-”

    × She passes you a pickle covered in Nutela

    × “Thank you”

¤ When you go into labour she gets a call at work.

¤ Actually she gets 6 missed calls from an unknown number before deciding to pick up.

    × “Excuse me, am I speaking with Ms. Jaehee Kang?

    × “This is she”

    × “I am calling about Mc, she seems to have gone into labour early and you are the number marked into her emergency contacts- hello?”

¤ She was at the hospital faster than the speed limit allowed.

¤ After, of course, informing her boss

¤ She knew just how make you comfortable and not get her hand squeezed near broken by the end

¤ Your really exausted so she’s actually the first to hold the baby.

¤ They’re small, and a tad underweight but otherwise healthy.

Seven-o-Seven

¤ The thing is, you two have gotten frisky even when Saeran was home

¤ And anytime, everywhere

     × “Why can’t those two shut up for just one night”

¤ So the reality was, you getting pregnant was expected

¤ Except it never happened

¤ Because you, my dear, where as infertile as a mule

¤ Pregnancy was a difficult thing to achieve

¤ So babies didn’t seem like a possibility

¤ Until your boy Saeyoung came home wiTH TWO BABIES IN A BASKET

     × “Saeyoung is that what I think it is?”

     × “ If your thinking about babies, then yes”

     × “Idiot brother”

¤ So your a mom now

¤ He had gone ahead and bought the babies toys, and bottles, and food, and milk and everything necessary for a baby

¤ He always was the one to get up when one of them began to cry at night

¤ Even if you insisted that you had it

     × “Saeyoung I’ve got it”

     × “Go back to sleep, I’m already ready”

     × “But Saeyoung-”

     × “No cuts, no buts, no coconuts”

¤ He would always post pictures of the three/four/five of you together in the chat

     × Saeyoung: And in this picture we see my 4 favourite people

     × Zen: I still can’t believe you adopted 2 babies out of the blue like that

¤ Apparently your infertility wasn’t so infertile afterall

¤ Oops your pregnant

¤ When he finds out he’s excited 

¤ Cause like

¤ Three babies

¤ He lets you do even less than before 

¤ Once your big enough he won’t even let you carry around the babies

¤ You would use the cravings as a way to get him out of the house and carry the babies.

¤ He builds like 15 robots to play with the babies

¤ He buys like another ton of toys

¤ Not to mention he gets to prepare the nursery with time this time

     × Cat themed by the way

¤ When the third baby comes, you leave the other two with a panic-y Saeran 

¤ Speed limits are no limits

¤ After the baby is born, Saeyoung gets Saeran and the two babies

¤ Takes a family photo and posts it on the chat along with a “lololol”

  ÷ BONUS ÷

          × 707 has joined the chat

          × 707: Lololol look at my 5 favourite people

        × Attached is a photo of Saeran MC and three babies

          × Yoosung: Did you adopt again?! 

          × Yoosung’s Questionmark emoji is attached 

          × 707: Lolol nope

          × 707: This one was all me and MC

Saeran

¤ You could hardly call that sex

    × It was more like “lets see how fast we can fuck before Saeyoung gets back”

¤ You found out like a month later at a physical.

     × “Congratulations MC you’re pregnant”

¤ As soon as your out, cue panic.

¤ A baby??? A baby was not part of the plan

¤ You took the bus home because you needed to think this over, without the Choi twins knowing just yet

¤ An hour later your home

¤ Surprise: Saeran isn’t, and Saeyoung is kinda just looking at you weirdly.

¤ Saeyoung finally tells you what happened

¤ Those fuckers hacked into your medical files as soon as your appointment was over to make sure everything was “Just Fine”

¤ It wasn't 

¤ Pregnancy hormones started kicking in, and there were tears

¤ Saeran just happened to walk in at that moment after calming his own nerves

¤ There was more panic because he didn’t know how to comfort you.

¤ Eventually he pulls you aside into your room, hands you a tissue and waits for you to calm down.

¤ When that happens (like an hour later) he kinda just sighs and tries to work things out

     × “I know we didn’t plan this, but I know you’ll make a great mother, I’ll try to be a good dad”

¤ Comforting but he’s High-Key scared.

¤ When it’s all sort out he’s actually really cute 

× Low key loves to talk to your belly

     × Complains but always does what you ask him to do 

          € He would say “Mc It’s 3:47 in the morning where am I going to find that?” While he’s getting dressed.

     × Protective over you and the bump.

¤ When Due date comes he can’t stay in the room with you. Your screams almost give him a panic attack, so Saeyoung goes in his place while he stays a good 2 hallways away.

¤ When the baby is there, and he kinda just stares at it.

     ×"Its so tiny and chubby”

¤ But he immediately falls in love with them.

¤ He’s scared of carrying them

     × “What if I drop them?”

     × “You won’t”

¤ Eventually he does, while sitting next to you in the bed.

¤ Saeyoung ends up snapping a selfie and BOOM family photo

V

¤ Blind sex was great

¤ For all you kinky bastards its like a perpetual blindfold

¤ But blindness has its disadvantages

¤ For example: if your blind, you don’t notice when the condom’s broken

¤ Just so happens that’s what happened to our dear V

¤ And that became evident a week before his surgery

¤ On the pregnancy test 

¤ So instead of telling him, you decided to wear a shirt that would read out “Your going to be a father”

¤ Because whats better than the first thing you see after being blind for who knows how long being that your going to be a father 

¤ But that quickly backfires once he’s told that he can’t take off the bandages for three days

¤ And he takes them off at two

¤ And you don’t have the god damn shirt on

¤ And so the water works begin

¤ And so does the confusion and panic

     × “MC why are you crying? Aren’t you happy?”

     × All that be heard is incoherent crying

¤ And once your calm…enough… you explain

     × “It was supposed to be a surprise, the first thing you saw was supposed to be the shirt”

     × “What shirt?”

     × “The one telling you you were gonna be a dad”

¤ And boom the surprise was out.

¤ And holy fuck he was crying

¤ And not out of sadness but out of happiness 

¤ Cause not only did he get to see, he also got the best news of his life

¤ Next thing you know your pulled into a hug

     × “MC thank you, I love you! Thank you so much”

¤ He was supportive as hell

¤ Boy got you as many things as he could

¤ But due to his recent achievement of sight, he couldn’t get you it all

¤ There were certain things, like driving or walking in the night, that just weren’t safe enough for your liking

¤ So you’d ignore your craving until morning

¤ But he always made up for the time needed to get them by going to EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT YOU HAD

¤ Still it was helpful to you to have him there

¤ He takes so many pictures of you like there’s no tomorrow.

¤ You and the belly

¤ Everywhere

¤ You both agree a planed C-Section is the best choice, less pain, and less shock and panic than if your water broke

¤ When the day came, you both drove there

¤ He couldn’t stop talking about the unborn yet baby

¤ Once you where brought into the room

     × “Sir, I’m sorry you can’t take that camera into the opertating room”

¤ Someone isn’t getting invited to the next RFA party

¤ The baby was slightly underweight but beautiful none the less.

[landforces-archived]

I’ve been tagged in too many memes to keep postponing them.png

The title is auto explanatory. Under the cut some memes I’ve been tagged on and since I am late feel free to do them yourself if you feel like it.

Heavenly Virtue Meme

tagged by: @marching-man

Chastity The Heavenly Virtue that is strongest in you is Chastity. This virtue is not exclusively about abstaining from sexual activities. You have purity in mind as you pursue education and wisdom, cleanliness of your body through health and hygiene, moral wholesomeness, and you have the ability to stay focused in the face of temptation.

THE SHIPPING MEME

tagged by: @marching-man / @radiomayak / @rancorosa / @lionofglass

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?: Gil/My fist on his nose. But I also very much love RusPrus, PruBran, PruFritz.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?: Everything. I mean, of course, let’s keep our morals in check here and I don’t think I should be stating the obvious. No paedophilia, no rape -- all of that jam. Everything else is game to me, give me the fluffy, give me the hate, give me the complicated feelings.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: I mean, Gilbert is almost 900 years old so, honestly, you want to talk about age gap? Look, if you character is over 18, it hardly will make me uncomfortable. I am a child of a couple with 21 years of age gap, that really doesn’t bother me at all.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:  Behind the curtains I love to talk shit about ships, to create ways of them to fall in love with each other or how great it would be if that happened. But I am aware Gilbert is a hard to ship muse and if I am going to seriously put him in a relationship I want it to be through development, because our characters clicked and not just because. So I guess.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW?: If we start getting uncomfortable that’s when we should start the readmore or fade to black, depending of the partner lmao. But I guess...when hands start touching genitals, even over clothes and things start getting descriptive lmao.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?: Currently? Uh, hm, sweats. Honestly, for serious shipping, with a perspective of something happening, I would say, ah, none.

I bother @lionofglass way too much about Arthur x Gil, hahaha, but that would only happen in alternative universes where they are both born with different personalities lmao. So I shall keep shipping them as frenemies.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?: If they are harmless threads, nah, just go ahead and lets do the fluffy. Now if there is an interest to further the ship, then, yes, please, 

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?:  That’s my secret, captain, I am always shipping. Though, as I said, Gil is a difficult muse to ship so I just do it for fun and keep it locked in my poor little heart.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: No. I am a singleship baby because I cannot keep track of multiships lololol. But that doesn’t exclude AUs or the possibility of exploring past relationships.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: I...don’t know, LMAO. I will let my friends answer that one for me.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: RIPS SHIRT OFF RUSPRUS AND MONACAU

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: slap me on the head and say ‘yo, i ship our characters’ and we can discuss things. I am super duper chill. Besides, it doesn’t need to be a romantic ship!!! any kind of ship, just come at me.

I DON’T THINK THIS MEME HAS A NAME MEME

tagged by: @plvsultra / @marching-man / @radiomayak

Name of your muse: Gilbert Maria Steiner Beilschmidt

One picture you like best of your muse’s fc:

You’e been blessed by bobhead stephen thompson.

Two headcanons you have for your muse that you never told anyone:

His first pet was a wild rock hyrax. Stretching the meaning of pet, because it was just an animal that sometimes would appear and Gilbert would share the little food he had with it. Their friendship, however, didn’t last long because the animal ended up being captured and served as a meal in the hospital during a time where meat was short.

During the Cold War, at the very first years behind the Iron Curtain, Gilbert developed an habit, along with the huge amount of cigarettes smoked, to trim his nails constantly. So much so that his nails would often be so short that he would cut his skin on the attempt to continue to trim them - it was an activity that he considered to be a good stress relief. With time he managed to stop doing so, concentrating his stress only on the cigarettes.

Three things that your muse loves doing in their free time.

Playing with his pets Writing Fixing up old vehicles

Four people that your muse loves.

Ludwig

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Three fond childhood memories.

The aforementioned rock hyrax and the short time they spent together

Sitting between the Brothers and sharing a meal with them, discussing the day and what should be done at the next one. 

Riding a horse for the very first time and the feeling of freedom it gave to his tiny self.

Two things your muse regrets.

Not giving the right value to certain people who he knew and knows that deserved better;

Not punching some people right at the throat.

One thing they’d go through heaven or hell to save/change.

This is hard to say because, obviously, if he changes anything in his past the present and the future will be changed and who knows if that’s for good or for worse? Maybe - he would have taken his time to understand Frederick sooner and save the man from so much trauma on his young life.

LOVE LANGUAGES TEST

People show and recognize love in different ways: gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. These different ways are called love languages, and while everyone understands a little of each language, we all speak and understand one or two better than we do the others. Our love language is how we most feel loved.

use this site to determine your character’s love language! then repost with the results!

Tagged By: @scrxll

You respond to quality words

Once your partner gives you their full attention, for you and only you, you feel fulfilled. You feel grateful when they listen to you all the way, without interrupting, trying to understand your thoughts and feelings, without necessarily giving you their point of view or ‘advice’. Another of your essential needs is the need to share time together. Whether for an activity: a short walk, a movie, a spot of shopping, a romantic dinner, a weekend away together, a meaningful discussion… even watching a TV programme that you will discuss afterwards. 

The main thing is that you share a quality moment together – and not with your partner’s attention elsewhere. During these moments, you feel loved and appreciated – ‘My partner is interested in me and is ready to spend time with me and for me to share something that I like doing’. Some advice: If your partner has understood your language of love, then you are happy. However, if this isn’t quite the case, then you can perhaps make a few suggestions that will help forge your couple even further.

 While you are both talking, teach them the art of paying attention to you, doing nothing else during that time. Explain to them that you aren’t looking for answers, but more of a sympathetic ear and empathy, that can even been in silence. To be sure that they’ve understood you and that you’ve understood each other, ask them to paraphrase whatever it is you’ve told them and what they understood about your thoughts and feeling. Good listening comes from the desire of the listener to understand your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Finally, to make sure that you actually get time together, why not open your agendas and fix your common activities, at home or outside – at least once a fortnight?

[nostalgiaispeace]

611.

Do you often take painkillers? No.

What are you wearing? pjs.

What’s your favorite kind of chips? not sure.

Do you wish you were in a relationship? I’m married.

Does anyone find you attractive? obviously.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? no

Have you ever been to the ER? Yes.

If you were FORCED to overdose on a drug what would you choose? xanax.

Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? no

Where have you lived for the most part of your life? Virginia

How old are you? 26.

What are you listening to at the moment? nothing.

Do you have your own tv? yeah

What color and brand of shirt are you wearing? it’s a monster energy tee

What brand of pants/shorts are you wearing? harry potter sweats

Do you wear eyeliner? yeah

What was the last thing you ate? egg rolls and lo mein

What was the last thing you drank? diet coke

Does anything hurt right now? i have cramps.

How many years have you lived at the house you’re living in right now? 2 years.

How are you feeling right now? sick and tired.

Say something random about your appearance at the moment. cozy

What place are you dying to visit? England

Do you have chores? obviously. I’m grown.

Do you watch WWE Raw? No.

Do you dye your hair? sometimes

Have you ever been to Europe? no

Have you ever lived in a different country that the one you’re living in? no

Do you know the difference between Republicans and Democrats? Yes.

Will you be able to vote in the next Presidential election? Yes.

Do you know any French? a little.

Did/do you take a language class in school? college so yeah

Which of your parents will you see next? Probably my mom.

Have you fallen asleep in school? yeah

What year were you born in? 1990

Do you like chinese food? yeah

Wendy’s or white castle? Wendy’s

How tall are you? 5′4″

Who do you talk to most on the telephone? my mom

Do you like sushi? no

Do you do pushups? no

Do you watch wrestling? no

How many pairs of jeans do you have? a lot but they don’t all fit.

Can you eat in the dark? no

Have you ever been hospitalized? yes

Do you make fun of obese people? no

Do you cry easily? yes

Do you care too much about people/things? sigh. yes

Do you ever feel creepy when talking to someone you don’t know well? no....

Does it bother you when someone lies to you? duh

How do you feel about your hair right now? meh

Do you think that you will be married within ten years? i better still be.

What sort of music were you brought up on? classic rock, rap

Is Gordon Ramsey’s swearing offensive to you? no?

Are you homophobic? No.

Do you watch sports on TV? no

Do you know anyone with a land line at their house? yes

Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you? yes

Are you listening to music right now? No.

Do you ever crack your knuckles / back / ankles / wrists / etc? yes

Is it hard to make you laugh? no

Has anyone told you they would never leave and left? Yes

Do you have an innie or an outtie? Innie

What if your parents told you that you were moving to England, right now? i live on my own so....

Are you stubborn? yes

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? a lot according to my fitbit

What was your last phone conversation about? telling Matt to bring me ibuprofen while i was in the bed and was to lazy to get up lololol

[helmes-deep]

If you could write a twenty-year flash forward for each of the Heck family members, what would it be? Write out each character's situation (including jobs, marriage, and number of kids) individually.

Hey, anon!! 👀 (Is this the same person who sent me The Middle asks from yesterday?? Is it okay if I call you “Heck-anon??” haha :3)

Kk so the kids are like already 20 now, so if we flash-forward 20 years wouldn’t Sue be like… 40??? haha and Frankie and Mike would probably be dead… >..> But I get what you mean~ lololol. I’m just gonna put down what I think will happen to everyone in the future:

Frankie and Mike: Kk so I’m going to put these two together since they’re inseparable :33 After all of their kids got married and moved out, Frankie and Mike are now both retired (although Mike still came to work everyday at the quarry until about a year ago). They miss each of their kids immensely, but when the holidays or family get-togethers roll around – or when they’re asked to babysit any of the grandchildren – they remember why they kicked everyone out in the first place :33 They, especially Frankie, love it when either Axl or Sue calls them up to visit the big city where both of the two older kids are living now. As in-laws, they also both spend wayyyyyyyyyy too much time at the Donahues now, mooching off of Nancy’s extremely delicious food. Frankie puts up a fight about where the kids should spend Christmas or Thanksgiving (either at hers or the Donahues’) every year, but always ends up not cooking anything and “allowing” Nancy to do it. Maybe they always stay/eat at the Hecks’ though?? haha. I’d also like to see maybe a storyline where the Donahues end up spending a lot of time at the Hecks’ and end up becoming a little bit like them lol.

Axl Heck: I think Axl is still trying to search for his calling. I think he’ll go through a bunch of phases working with different types of people of various occupational backgrounds and go through a ton of different business ventures before he more permanently settles down into the business world. And it won’t be business-business exactly: Axl goes into marketing. Because while he’s not very good at coming up with ideas or executing them (we’ve kind of seen that with his many lame ideas throughout the show lol), Axl has a knack for talking someone’s ear off and convincing them that something is good for them. So I think he’ll end up doing that (maybe working with Kenny??) for a good part of his life. After that he and Lexie, with all of their money, might put it to good use and start help funding projects for upcoming entrepreneurs that they think are good and profitable and/or donate to a lot of charities. Somewhere along the way Axl might come up with one good idea that ends up being a stable side-hustle. He and Lexie are married and have three kids: one boy, one girl, and another son (just like Frankie and Mike lol :’33). He can’t stand his eldest, is super-protective of his daughter, and tries harder to not forget about his third lol (during family get-togethers, he’s proud to tell Brick and brags to Mike that at least he remembers his third kid’s birthday and wasn’t watching football when he was born lol). After he and Lexie got married, they moved to the city with Sean and Sue, live fairly close to each other (or maybe right next door??), and go on double dates. Honestly though, I would also love to see a storyline where, maybe after searching for his calling and going through a bunch of odd jobs/business ventures, Axl ends up doing something that nobody would expect – like a teacher or school counselor lol.

Sue Heck Donahue: Sue’s now married to Sean Donahue and loves being called Mrs. Sue Sue Donahue~~!! After Sean finished med school, proposed to Sue, and they got married (in a beautiful outdoor wedding), the two of them moved out into the city, where Sean is an accomplished and very respected doctor at one of the main/biggest hospitals there. After graduating with a degree in hotel management, Sue has worked her way up to the manager position of a four-and-a-half-star hotel after having done some odd management stints at a few other businesses (smaller hotels, resorts, golf clubs, one of Axl’s horrendous business ventures). She later found a strong passion for DIY, however, and ends up starting her own small DIY/crafts-making/homegoods on something like Etsy. Her always too cute, carefully made, affordable, and sometimes sparkly-themed products are really popular with mothers and girls ages 8-16 lol. Her tagline would probably be something like “Always made with care ❤” haha. She finds that this new line of work fits perfectly into her schedule as a full-time mom. She and Sean have three kids: a boy, two girls (twins), and maybe another boy a bit later. She is always finding ways to be a wonderful next door neighbor (maybe to Lexie and Axl?? xD) by bringing them freshly homemade goods. She and Sean always come home for the holidays, no matter what. In their spare time, they go on dates to the latest musicals leoool~

Brick Heck: I don’t think Brick will have any kids. Maybe sometime way, wayyy, later in life, but I don’t see him having any anytime soon (but all his nieces and nephews love hearing him tell and read them stories, as well as all the children at the library lol). Instead, he lives with his two dogs Bettie and Peete (these could totally be different names, I just randomly made some up lol), and his wife Cynthia (idk if this person will be the same as Cindy – guess we’ll just have to see when the show ends!!). He’s an author now – published, and distinguished. He’s known for his critically acclaimed sci-fi/fantasy book series (people say it’s the century’s next Planet Nowhere), but lately he’s really been into translating and calligraphy/typography and reads and researches on those two subjects all the time. He’s also the president of some officially-instated font association. He goes on book tours across America, going on book signings and readings of his popular book series (really the only social events he enjoys), is really involved with Cynthia in advocating for children’s literacy (and therefore visits libraries, too), and still loves going to the library to peruse the shelves for a good new read, even though libraries are practically obsolete by now. He’s also been to Europe (either for a book tour or not). In his spare time, he likes to take long walks with Cynthia and their two dogs. He lives the closest to Frankie and Mike, never having moved far from them. Sometimes Frankie and Mike join them (and feel really left out of their intellectual literary conversations lol).

Honestly my musings could most definitely change as the series progresses, but these are kind of my half-baked thoughts on how I wan’t/don’t want the series to end :33 Hope you enjoyed reading it!!