#and the guy who i had the longest actual defined relationship with and slept with the most times did not hurt me lol

[backtodecembertv]

i want a nice, healthy, loving relationship, but i also want to sleep with someone evil who i’m not emotionally attached to enough for their evilness to matter

[moonylantsovs]

Purely Platonic [ B.B ]

request: Hi! I saw that your requests are open and I wanted to ask for a Bellamy x reader imagine. I was thinking something like you’ve been seeing each other but having defined your relationship. Then you overhear him tell someone that you two are just friends and will never be more. I would love a fluffy ending though :D

pairings: Bellamy Blake x reader

warnings: angst, jealousy, fluffy ending

Ever since your and Bellamy's kiss after the battle in Mount Weather, things have been great. And that went both ways. You two haven't exactly said what you are but you didn't see the need for it, you shared a room in Arkadia and spent most of your free time together.

There hasn't been a proper 'I love you' but you both knew you cared about each other in more ways than platonically and he didn't fail to prove that every night after your guard shifts. 

Your friends didn't know what you were either, but they knew you were hooking up. At least Raven did, and she didn't disappoint in calling you out while the two of you were fixing the Rover.

But now, while you were making your way to the guards meeting room, you figured Monty knew something was up too.

"So what's the deal with you and Y/N. Did you finally get the guts to tell her how you feel?" you heard Monty ask as you walked to the room.

And you, being nosey, decided to hide behind the door to listen.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Bellamy's gruff voice came from inside.

There was a loud snort coming from Miller, "Sure you don't, buddy. Should we just pretend you two haven't been making puppy dog eyes at each other since we landed two months ago?"

"Listen," Bellamy started "I never felt whatever you two think I feel towards Y/N. We're best friends who fool around from time to time. But nothing more. We only share a room because there's no spot left and I didn't want to share a room with my sister and her boyfriend."

You felt your heart sink in your stomach and tears prick in the corners of your eyes. You knew Bellamy wasn't good at expressing his emotions to anyone besides Octavia but that doesn't mean his words hurt any less.

The sadness and hurt soon turned into anger and you turned around to make your way back to your room. 

When you came in you put your gun down and took your guard jacket off to put your usual blue jean jacket on.

You took your hair out of the high ponytail it was in and made your way to the bar outside where you found Raven, Octavia, Lincoln, Wick and Gina sitting around a table.

"There you are!" Raven exclaimed as soon as she saw you walking up to the group.

"Hey, Rae." you grinned at her before looking at the rest of the group, "Everyone."

"Ouch." Wick winced, "I'm truly hurt, gorgeous."

You shook your head with a smile and sat down next to him, "Hello to you too, Kyle."

You knew Bellamy was always kind of jealous of how close you and Wick were. You two were best friends ever since you became an engineer and were basically inseparable back on The Ark. Right now, you also knew you were being petty by planning to flirt with him to get Bellamy mad.

"I thought you had a shift at the gates now?" Octavia asked you with furrowed eyebrows.

"Jones took over earlier so I just came here." you shrugged.

You looked at the drink in front of Wick and reached for it. Wick gave her a playful glare after you drank from his glass and you just stuck out your tongue making him chuckle.

He reached over to ruffle your hair and grabbed the glass from your hold, "I'll go get myself a refill and a glass for you."

"Thanks." you said, watching him walk away.

You turn back around to see Raven narrowing her eyes at you, "Something's wrong. What's wrong? Do I need to beat someone up?"

"Nothing's wrong." you told her innocently, leaning back.

"Maybe she's just sexually frustrated." Gina teased with a wink, "You should talk to Bellamy about that one."

You scoffed but before you had the chance to answer a voice from behind you spoke up, "Talk to Bellamy about what?"

When you turned around you saw Bellamy, who just walked up to the table followed by Miller.

"Just the guard's schedule." you shrugged and gave him a pointed look when he was about to sit down, "Sorry, the seat is taken."

He furrowed his eyebrows and smirked thinking you were just teasing him, "Who could possibly be more important than me?"

"Sorry that would be me." came the voice of Kyle with two glasses of alcohol in his hand.

You gave him a thankful smile once he handed you the glass while sitting down, back next to you.

Bellamy hoped his annoyance wasn't obvious as he sat down in the middle of Octavia and Gina.

Hint: it was very obvious.

Wick gave him an innocent smile while putting his arm on the back of your chair. You smiled at him already knowing he was only doing it to annoy Bellamy, which he made a big habit of.

Raven raised an amused eyebrow at the tension between the two males before clearing her throat, "Before you guys rudely interrupted us, we were discussing the style of the Rover's doors."

"Slide doors, obviously." you perked up at the topic.

"Thank you!" Wick exclaimed, turning towards Raven, "It's much more practical than having it open like normal doors."

"Of course she'd agree with you." Raven muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Duh," you smirked, "Great minds think alike."

"Damn straight." Wick agreed with a proud smirk that made Bellamy clench his jaw in annoyance.

He couldn't help but eye the arm that was basically wrapped around your shoulders. The Blake brother would never admit it out loud, due to his enormous ego, but he was always jealous of how close you and Wick were. The fact that Wick was a natural flirt and a very touchy person didn't help at all.

"You want to get together and work on it tonight?" he heard Wick ask you and watched you gave him a nod of agreement.

The dark haired boy cleared his throat, "Don't we have plans tonight, (Y/N)?"

You looked at his with furrowed eyebrows, "I don't think so, Bell. But don't wait up, I have the room key with me and I'll be careful not to wake you up."

Octavia, Raven, Gina and Miller had to fight the urge to laugh at the look on Bellamy's face. The four finally realized what you were doing and that there was obvious trouble in paradise.

"Yeah, you two have fun. Me and Gina have plans tonight so I won't be able to help." Raven spoke up with a fake apologetic look you almost snorted at.

"Don't worry about it, Reyes."

-

It was almost two in the morning once you finally returned to your and Bellamy's room.

You opened the door, only to find Bellamy sitting on the bed with his arms crossed over his chest and a serious expression on his face.

"Where the hell were you?" he asked, getting up as soon as you shut the door behind you.

"I already told I── "

"No, I mean why the hell are you back here at 2 a.m?" he demanded.

"We got held up, relax." you said shrugging off your jacket and putting it over a chair.

"Relax? You come back to our room at 2 a.m reeking of alcohol and you want me to relax?" he snapped, clenching his jaw.

Your eyes widened, "Can you stop yelling and being overdramatic? You're saying this like it's the first time."

"Well it's the first time you stayed that long after being alone with Kyle, so excuse me if I thought you weren't just working on the Rover." he clenched his jaw, pure anger radiating from him.

"What if we weren't?" you say after a few seconds of silence making his head snap up to look back at you, "What if we were doing something other then fixing the Rover? I'm not your girlfriend, you don't own me, Bellamy. I can do whatever the hell I want."

Bellamy gaped at you in disbelief, "So what? You actually slept with him?"

"No." you crossed your arms over your chest, "But I'm saying that if I wanted to I would have. Especially since you have no romantic feelings for me whatsoever. We're just fooling around, right?"

He blinked in shock as realization hit him, "You heard that." 

You nodded, "Yeah, but it's fine. I'm stupid for thinking Bellamy Blake, the Casanova of the camp that slept with half the girls there, would want to be in a relationship. Not your fault."

"You really think that?" he asked, his voice coming out a lot softer then when you started the conversation, "That I only want to sleep with you and that I don't have feelings for you?"

"That's what you said, didn't you?"

"What if I didn't mean it?"

His question caught you off guard so you furrowed your eyebrows, "Bellamy that doesn't make── "

"I love you, (Y/N)." he cut you off making your eyes widen.

"You what?" you choked out.

"I love you." he repeated, "And you don't have to say it back but I do, I love you. I'm in love with you. What I told Monty and Miller was a complete and absolute lie. I had feelings for you ever since we came down and wanted to be with you ever since."

You didn't know what to say. You were waiting for him to say that for the longest time but now that he finally did you had no idea how to respond.

Noticing your silence, he let out a sad sigh, "And now I probably fucked everything up."

He cleared his throat, snapping you out of your daze, "I can ask Miller to bunk with him tonight, if you're not── "

"No, no." you cut him off "I── you have no idea how long I waited for you to say that."

Before he even had the chance to process your words you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. It took him a second to respond but when he did, you smiled into the kiss and felt his arms wrap around your waist to pull you impossibly closer to him.

You pulled apart, panting for air when a huge grin broke on his face, "I guess this means you love me back."

"Yeah." you chuckled, "I love you, Bell."

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

THURSDAY OCTOBER 8, one of the longest running television shows of our time begins airing the final episodes of it’s final season. Guys, Supernatural is 15. FIFTEEN. It can practically drive a car now. As one friend put it, “that show had a Quinceañera.” And if you don’t know how significant that is, think of the last show you know of that made it to season 10. Take your time, I’ll wait. 

Whoever I stole this birthday invite from, they are probably older than this show.

I started watching Supernatural in 2008. I was 19, I had just begun my journey towards Over-Worked, Under-Slept Millennial, and my best friend recommended it. I can’t really remember how the conversation went, but I’m sure at some point it was “It’s scary, and it’s got these two brothers, I’ll send you a link!” cuz we were trash and we were broke and Netflix...existed? Hulu existed, but not in the way that either of those sites work now, so we watched by...ahem...other means. It is probably why my first laptop stopped working after 3 semesters of college.

And damn, I was hooked. I don’t do scary movies and honestly, I was legit creeped out by a lot of these episodes, but it had two hot dudes who took down a monster every week and then (the real kicker) had a bigger, season-long mystery they were trying to solve. And occasionally, they got punched in their big dumb beautiful faces. If I had known what a kink was at the time, I would have said that someone was reading my dream diary. 

Over the next 12 years - Let me say that again for those of you in the back - TWELVE YEARS - I had an on-again-off-again relationship with the Winchesters. It was pretty hot and heavy in the beginning. I was jumping on the back of this 67 Chevy Impala 3 years in, so I had three seasons that I bought on DVD that I binged and was caught up with season 4 by the time the midseason started to air in late January of 2009. I was introducing all my friends to Supernatural, I made several people watch the entire first disc of season 1 with me, irregardless of whether they’d asked or not. Things started to cool down towards the end of season 4 as life started picking up and I know...I caught...the tail end of season 5? I think? I distinctly remember the final scene of the final episode, but honestly, I can’t remember how much of that season I actually watched.

At that point, I considered Supernatural to be a weird pseudoaddiction. I’d be clean for a while, years even, and then Netflix caught up with consumers and I could binge whole seasons in a weekend. It’d be, oh, I could just watch an episode. Just one episode. Maybe two. And then the weekend is gone in a blaze of classic rock and rock salt and I’m left with something like but not necessarily a hangover where my feelings live. I think I did this for seasons 6 through, like, 8? Eventually, Netflix stopped putting it at the top of my dashboard and it was easier to avoid. And I said to myself, well, when they finally get to the last season, THEN I’ll go on one last run, one last big score, and watch the whole series again in one go. 

But the seasons kept coming?? And they?? Didn’t stop?? Guys, I don’t know how many of you care about this but, Friends, one of the most popular sitcoms of all time that defined an entire generation had ten seasons. TEN. Supernatural is ending with fifteen! For an industry where most shows don’t make it past a pilot, let alone a season 1, this is INSANE. 

But now it’s ending. Even though a pandemic halted production just two episodes away from the finale, Supernatural is finally outta cassette tapes. The Wayward Sons may finally (??) be laying their wearied heads to rest (?? lol, I know).  

And frankly, 2020’s been a real sh*tshow so I thought “Why not?” 

And if I’m doing this and I’m not interacting with anyone on a human level, I might as well chronicle this epic dive into a time capsule of television because frankly, what the hell else am I doing? 

Cuz that’s what this is guys. 15 years in TV time is multiple lifespans. Shows are born, grow into something Emmy-worthy, and die in less time than Supernatural has been on the air. You know what else aired their pilot episode in 2005? The American version of The Office. You know when The Office ended? 2013. 

So let’s talk about pilots because that in and of itself may be a thing of the past not too far from now. 

Guys, I love pilots. I will probably say this a lot over the next, uhhhh...many months, but I love pilots and I love season ones, especially for a sci-fi and fantasy shows because that’s where your characters are at their most vulnerable, their most unsure. The writers and producers are really digging around, trying to figure out what the groundwork for this world is and there’s something so exciting about exploring it with them, as an audience. 

Pilot’s are great, pilots on spec are even better, and that’s a lot of what the Supernatural Pilot feels like. It’s got a real indie/guerilla-style horror movie vibe, like the crew scraped together just enough cash for that one special effect scene but had to skimp out on a lot of the other production stuff, and still managed to turn something around that is totally, 100% watchable and somehow more charming than if they’d had the budget to make something really polished? Go watch Night of the Living Dead (1968) and tell me that movie would have been better if they’d had a bigger budget. You could, but I won’t agree. 

Ok so a quick break down of technical terms. A television pilot is basically the first episode of a TV show. Well, that’s not exactly true. A pilot is kind of like making a sample or a blueprint of your show that you hand over to the television networks and say, here! This is what my TV show will look like. Will you pay me money to continue making it? And the networks (think ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX and The CW - remember, this is Network, not cable) will spend January through April of every year reviewing pilots and deciding if they want to pay you money to make more episodes. Well, every year except 2020. See: sh*tshow. Sometimes the network comes to you with an idea, or maybe, you’ve pitched your script/show to some executives and they buy in for that first pilot episode to see where things will go. Neither of these scenarios are a sure thing, and pilot season is always rife with will-they-won’t-they tension. In fact, if you’re working on the show, there’s a real possibility that pilot will get re-shot after studio notes, you’ll lose your job to someone the studio liked better, and then the show still may not get picked up. A pilot shot on spec is in even more of a limbo scenario because nobody asked for this! And just to follow through on Pilot Season - after the networks decide to buy your pilot, they then air the pilot at Upfronts (usually in May) where their many ad companies decide if they will pay money to air their ads during those shows. This is where we get things like prime time and key demographics - if you thought TV was all about the art, you are very wrong. TV, like most other industries, is still a business that’s about making money. 

Back to the Supernatural pilot. Now, from my research, series creator Eric Kripke had been working on the concept for 10 years. He was big into classic rock, big into urban legends and big into cowboys and all those things get married ever so neatly in this show. A lot of his initial ideas remain unchanged, at least for the first season - he wants two brothers, traveling across the country, facing off with America’s Spookiest Myths and legends. A lot of it did change. I honestly feel like I remember reading an early draft of the pilot where Sam and Dean are cowboys? But I’m also pretty sure I’m imaging that. What I’m not imagining is this ridiculous early draft where John’s been locked in an insane asylum, dies before the first episode starts, and Sam’s been living with an aunt and uncle his whole life and knows nothing. They still use something close enough to the La Llorona legend as the catalyst for the episode, but a lot of other things are changed. This is not the Sam and Dean we come to know and love. This is also a good example of when you SHOULD listen to notes, because this draft was rewritten after executive producer McG and his Wonderland Sound and Vision production company signed on, but before they actually shot the script. 

Now from what I’ve read, the WB picked the show up for (4) episodes initially, and ultimately picked it up for a full season of (22) episodes. This was, at the time, a pretty standard season and a pretty standard way to get it. They had a better deal than The Office, anyway, which only got picked up for (6) episodes in their first season, then got picked up four episodes at a time for season 2. 

Now let’s go over that paragraph one more time and talk about what a hecking DINOSAUR this show is - 

FIRST off - Supernatural premiered on THE WB. It PREDATES The CW!!

Man guys, you remember they had a frog as a mascot? Oof, that would not work today.

Secondly, it got 22 EPISODES. We’ll get into this some more when we talk about that evil bugs filler ep, but think about how many episodes were in the last show that you binged on Netflix? 8? Maybe 10?

Welcome to the exciting world of GRAPHS brought to you buy https://www.theringer.com/tv/2017/8/4/16094348/inefficiency-week-mourning-the-lost-long-tv-season

OH! And SPEAKING of Netflix and streaming services like them, they’re kind of killing pilot season AND upfronts. They pick up shows when they want to. They “air” them when they feel like. There are no ads because you pay for that content on a monthly basis and also they don’t even have commercial breaks. I am slowly seeing the passage of time in one (1) episode of television and I think I’ve aged 100 years. 

Here is just one of MANY articles about the death of Pilot Season 

Finally, and most importantly, this show got a better deal than The Office. And that show was an NBC primetime show. 

This show was nominated for 193 awards and won 50. And it ended when my nephew was still in kindergarten. He’s gonna be in high school next year. 

So what about this Supernatural Pilot? Was it any good? Honestly, I’m gonna say yeah. This is some very solid Hero’s Journey here. I think the only weird thing about it is that Sam is our Hero, our point of contact character that gets us into this world. And I only say that because I’ll be real up front and say that I’m a Dean girl through and through. I don’t hate Sam, but because we live in a world where we have to choose, it’s Dean 4Eva. 

From that early script draft, we learn the plan was for Sam to be in the dark and essentially be our audience stand in so that Dean can explain all the backstory. I think the decision to make John Winchester raise his kids as a weird fringe paramilitary outfit and establish Sam as the brother that tried to get away is a good one. It’s a very “Arrive Late” (or if you’re fancy, in media res,) sort of attitude and it works and you’ve already started building in the Atonement with the Father. There’s still some pretty excellent exposition dialogue, but what are ya gonna do. Sam, did you really need to explain to Dean that your collective father “raised you like warriors”? Or that you “kill everything we CAN find?” It’s fine. You’re beautiful and I love you. But also, he knows all that.

You have the Call to Adventure - Dean showing up and saying “Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.” You have the refusal of the call (“He’ll sleep it off”). You have your supernatural aid (hah!) giving Sam a push out the door - that’s Dean. You have your famous line that I quoted along with the TV - Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days. 

The dead mom backstory seems pretty on the nose, but the “burned on the ceiling” concept was new and unique enough that I was intrigued to find out more. Listen, I’ve already admitted I don’t watch a lot of horror so if this has been done before, don’t @ me. 

La Llorona or Woman in White or Weeping Woman was a new trope to me at the time, so it too seemed fresh. I see that myth show up in a lot more Supernatural-type shows now, but in 2008, at 19, I was like, oh this is different. Not to mention - this definitely leaned in to the horror aspect. I know I’m a baby, but it aired at 9pm, which is the more adult side of Prime Time, so the WB thought it was too spooky for kids who had early bedtimes. So there. 

I HATE when they do this cuz it freaks me out EVERY TIME and THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW THESE MIRRORS WORK??? SHE’S NOT EVEN IN THE BACK SEAT IN THIS SHOT!

And then at the END, when Sam STILL refuses the call to adventure, you have the real Crossing of the Threshold - Jess is ALSO stuck on the ceiling, dead, and on fire. Spoiler alert, but they had to fridge her early to make the rest of the season work and so it shouldn’t be a big surprise. Sam’s all in and we get 21 more episodes of him and Dean and that car. 

Is it technically fridging if she’s lit on fire?

And let’s talk about Jess for a second cuz actress Adrianne Palicki is giving a LOT more in this performance than a fridged girlfriend should be required to. She’s likeable, she’s down to earth, she’s crushing it and and all this with only, like, two scenes of dialogue. I say this even though we meet her in a slutty nurse costume - COME on WB. 

WB what the hell is this wardrobe. What the HELL is THIS. 

In fact, all of the extras in this show are crushing it? Louis is instantly likeable and he disappears after his first scene, never to grace our TV’s again. And these extras in the town in Jericho, California - I kind of love them. As CW (or I guess, WB) as Jessica is, these extras look like they found them at the local highschool and I LOVE THEM FOR IT. They probably came to set already in makeup and wardrobe! They POSSIBLY brought their own jewelry! They’re weirdos and they are GREAT. I’m pretty sure this will NEVER happen again on this show because once the $$ came in, so did the more polished-looking one-off characters.

 Lookit these magnificent goth weirdos! And great news, both these actresses have very full, non-goth careers after this. 

Also, heckin’ Joseph Welch is just crushing it. This man has NOTHING CW about him and that’s maybe why I like him so much? Everything about the scene with him and Sam is pretty heartbreaking, from his rundown car graveyard to his rundown physique with his rundown accent to the fact that we never actually see his face. Seriously, really LOOK at this scene - WHAT is going on with this cinematography? Is this a reference to something? It’s SO bleached out and SO stark and WHAT is going on???

WHAT is this lighting? And also this guy was played by Steve Railsback was on X-Files!

You can’t talk about Supernatural without talking about the chemistry between Sam and Dean and that’s probably the real hook here? I mean a) very beautiful. I will probably talk about this a lot. Let’s call it what it is here, they’re beefcakes and they’re made for me and people like me. It is weird that this show is so macho but their primary audience was mostly there for the babes. And by babes I mean Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. And b) they REALLY sell the whole brothers thing. They’re both from Austin, TX which feels like a weird coincidence. They were both already on WB shows before this one, also a weird coincidence. And they just click. They just do. It’s impressive, and occasionally creepy when we start to get into the Wincest of it all, but lets not talk about that.

Oh, and the MUSIC! The music just makes it. If you don’t believe me, watch the Netflix version of the first season and then find yourself a DVD version. See, TV shows need to acquire a license to play popular music during the show. Nowadays, the CW actually tags their songs in the episode so you can find and presumably buy it later, but they still have to pay royalties for using those pop songs. When Netflix acquired Supernatural, they did NOT acquire the licensing to use the classic rock songs from ACDC, Metallica, etc. and so you’re left with some pretty bland and generic production music that’s something like but not necessarily Back in Black. More like, Back in...Grey? This pun didn't work how I wanted it to. 

And the show just...doesn’t work? Like, who knew BACKINBLAAAAACK! Was so instrumental to whether I thought this was quality programming or not. Side note - it ruins my favorite piece of dialogue of maybe the entire series - 

Sam: I swear, man, you gotta update your cassette tape collection.

Dean: Why?

Sam: Well, for one, they're cassette tapes.

Do the young people even know what a cassette tape is? I AM the CRYPTKEEPER.

So yeah, you got a lot of ingredients to make something pretty great. Did we know then that it would launch a juggernaut of a television program that would still be on the air in the Year of Our Reckoning, 2020? I was a big fan of Firefly, so I was 99.99% sure this show was gonna get canceled at any second. In fact, I was thrilled, in 2008, to find there were two more seasons after the one I was currently watching. Of course, season 3 aired around the time of the great Writer’s Strike of ‘07, where nothing looked good and few programs survived, but we’ll get there. 

In a final, kind of spooky, almost premonition-type decision the WB actually decided to air this pilot episode a whole week early on Yahoo!. Yeah, you remember Yahoo!, right? The search engine that briefly tried to have its own original streaming content and then we all abandoned it in favor of the monster that is Google? Yeah. This episode premiered online. I haven’t done enough research, but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this was probably one of the first ever TV shows to start on the internet? Weird to think that was a novel and innovative concept at one time. 

So this is it. This is the end of the era. Are we gonna get any more shows that last as long as this one did? Who knows. Are we as a culture gonna care at that point? I don’t know. Our TV habits have changed so much in the last few years that it’s hard to say how we’ll watch TV in the future. But credit where it’s due, boys. Nice huntin’. 

[thethingsthatmakeyoustrange]

Lams for the send me a ship thing?

Of course!

who hogs the duvet:Both of them. They’re both from warmer areas and cannot handle the cold At All. They fight over it every night. John usually “lets Alex win” but the minute Alex falls asleep he takes the entire goddamn thing and wraps it around himself. He used to wake Alex up when he did that cause he’s a v light sleeper, but he learned how to do it right.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going:Alex. Constantly. Always. John acts annoyed after like the fifth time in a day but he finds it endearing.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts:Define creative? John’s are usually a drawing of Alex in perfect magical detail, along with a small thing Alex mentioned he wanted once and never in a million years expected John to remember it. Alex’s gifts are… well… unpredictable. So although John’s are all constant, they’re things like drawings that require creativity.

who gets up first in the morning:Alex, definitely. John gets up as late as possible while not being late for work (and sometimes later, let’s be honest). Alex has trouble sleeping and is a very light sleeper when he does fall asleep.

who suggests new things in bed:Umm… Uhh… ask someone who’s not me this I headcanon every single couple everywhere as being in an ace relationship (literally even if they have biological kids) cause I do not want to think about them that way.

who cries at movies:John cries at a lot of the, you know, actually sad parts. Alex, however, is completely fine at all those parts, but cries when the flower gets stepped on because “now it’s gonna die, John!”

who gives unprompted massages:John. When Alex hasn’t slept in a minute and is all hunched over his laptop, he’ll sneak up behind him and start massaging his shoulders. Alex is more of a sneak up behind him and hug him kinda guy.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick:Alex, definitely. He’ll get really anxious every time John so much as coughs, and John not doing great (physically or mentally) is the only time he’ll willingly skip work. John’s super sweet when Alex gets sick (which is way too often - Alex had a shitty immune system historically), but not a fussy mother hen.

who gets jealous easiest:John, definitely, (he gets jealous very easily), but it could seem like Alex from the outside. Alex is clingier, so when John’s talking to another guy Alex’ll be right there, hugging John and saying he loves him. Someone could easily mismate that for jealousy, but it’s just Alex being Alex. He’s like that all the time.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music:John grew up in the south. Who do you think?

who collects something unusual:Neither of them, really. Alex has like five different fountain pens (four of which are the cheap kind, the other of which was a gift from Lafayette) just cause he finds them fun to write with, but he doesn’t collect them per say.

who takes the longest to get ready:Neither of them take very long. John’s the one who’s always holding them up in the mornings, because he wakes up much later than Alex, but he just throws on some pants and runs a comb through his hair. Alex, who gets up pretty early, has a bit more time to make himself look half decent and shower and stuff. (John showers at night.)

who is the most tidy and organized:They’re both a mess, but Alex is a slightly neater mess. At least he understands it. Anyone else who looks at his work space would just see piles of papers scattered everywhere with no rhyme or reason, but somehow Alex can find anything in a second. John has no method whatsoever.

who gets most excited about the holidays:Alex. He never had the money to do things like Christmas as a kid, so he still sort of has all that little kid excitement for them now that he can afford them. John, on the other hand, had a pretty shitty family life, and the holidays were just an occasion in which he was forced to be with his family all the time. He’s started to look forward to them more now though, just because he gets to see his boyfriend all excited.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:I mean, John’s taller, so John I guess?

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports:Alex gets so damn into games, it’s adorable. They’re not much of a sports couple, though.

who starts the most arguments:They don’t argue a lot. When they do, though, it’s usually because John’s jealous. Alex is a very flirtatious person, and John gets jealous easily. That’s not a good combination.

who suggests that they buy a pet:John suggests they buy a pet turtle. Alex agrees because he rarely sees John that into/excited about things.

what tv shows they watch together:Honestly, I don’t really watch TV so I don’t know the options? All my friends are into Sherlock though, and apparently its gay, so that I guess? They also follow politics and watch the news and stuff.

what other couple they hang out with:Maria and Eliza, and Mulligan and Lafayette.

how they spend time together as a couple:They just kind of chill I guess? They don’t go out a lot, they spend most of their free time at home just enjoying one another’s company.

who made the first move:Alex flirted with John regularly since the day they met, but for a while John thought that was just Alex being Alex. It got steadily heavier, until John finally caught on and asked Alex out. So, while it was prompted by Alex, John technically asked him out first.

who brings flowers home:John. He’s always all shy about it, blushing and flustered when he gives them to Alex. Alex finds it adorable. John knows everything about the meaning of each flower too, and he’ll always send a tiny message with his choice of flowers. It took Alex a little while to catch on, but now he always asks John about the meaning of each one. It’s always super sweet and leads to them cuddling for hours.

who is the best cook:Alex. He used to help his mom make dinner in the Caribbean, and he still remembers how to make each dish. John tried to help once. It went horribly. John can’t cook for his life.

Thanks for asking! This was fun to do.

[embhm]

Chapter 184: The Surprisingly GOOD NEWS

Note: Hey guys, it’s Alec. Using a self-adapting reverse encryption program, I managed to hack into Sae’s account. Possibly to spy on her followers and the like, send clandestine messages to certain people to help my rise for dominion over the BL world! Muahahaha!    ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ» But I digress... thank you for your patience awaiting these upcoming chapters. Please don’t forget to thank our lovely translators for their hard work which the Addicted fandom relies on. Much love to the entire Addicted fan community.

NO SPOILERS PLEASE!!!, in the comments or anywhere on this account. We have not finished reading the novel. No copy/paste and all that other shenanigans either. Vote/likes/comments are highly appreciated.

Translators: Grantye, Sienna, Sae    Editors: Jowly & Alec

As always, THANK YOU for reading and enjoying the journey with our HEADSTRONG boys:

GU HAI & BAI LUO YIN

《你丫上瘾了》

Chapter 184: The Surprisingly GOOD NEWS

By the time Gu Wei Ting lay down, Gu Hai was already sleeping soundly and the lights in the room have long been turned off.

He stared at the darkness for a couple of minutes before his hand started creeping towards the switch. He couldn’t sleep so he wanted to turn the lights back on. His hand had reached the switch but then he decided not to press it. He looked at his son who was sleeping soundly beside him. They were merely inches apart. Seeing him in such a calm and relaxed manner, Gu Wei Ting can’t help but feel the urge to observe him closer.

Since Gu Hai was a kid, Gu Wei Ting can only count the fingers of one hand the number of times he’d been able to look at him attentively like this. His last memory of such a time was when Gu Hai’s face was just the size of his palm. In the blink of an eye, that once innocent face had turned mature and strikingly handsome.

Years of absence from Gu Hai’s life robbed Gu Wei Ting of not only the chance to experience the joys that come with being a father, but also the chance to watch his only son grow little by little into the fine young man that he is today. Try as he might, there are so many details about Gu Hai’s life and personality that Gu Wei Ting can’t remember. For one, he has no recollection of the first time Gu Hai called him “father.” He also has no memory of the very first time Gu Hai learned to walk. He also does not know what his son liked to eat as a kid, or the toys he liked to play with.

As far as he can remember, every time he would face his son, Gu Wei Ting has always worn a monstrous appearance and a rather formidable aura.

When Gu Hai lazed around during training, stirred up trouble at school, licentiously wandered around, and even when his twisted love affair was exposed, it was always .this strong and sinister image that loomed over him. Always.

Gu Wei Ting neither tried to hear his son’s side nor did he ever ask him to sit down for a proper talk. His means for solving whatever problem he faced was always to throw a fit of rage and beat Gu Hai. The sad part of this reality is, for the longest time, this was the only way that the two ever interacted.

In all the years that passed, Gu Wei Ting never showed any warmth towards Gu Hai. Even during the first few days after his wife passed away, Gu Wei Ting never stuck around. He ran off; went from one place to another. He left his only son alone. A son who was forced to deal with the misery of losing the only person who showed him love and compassion all by himself. He never once thought how broken-hearted, sad, or devastated a 14 year old child could be when faced with such a tragedy. What’s worse is that it never occurred to him how traumatizing that experience was for a child.

So the moment, he saw his son--who was more than 180cm--tightly holding on to his own leg and huddling inside a small wardrobe, a stabbing pain unexpectedly struck his heart.

He thought, “Regardless of the mistakes Gu Hai had made, the one person who should take the blame is me.”

Gu Wei Ting quietly observed Gu Hai’s face in the darkness. Even he was not aware of how tender his own eyes were as they stared at his son. As he took in all the details of his son’s face, Gu Wei Ting saw two cotton balls stuck on Gu Hai’s hair. He immediately reached out and removed them. He then saw a trace of mud at the corner of his mouth. Without even asking why and how it got there, he wiped it away.

The lights were still off.

Gu Wei Ting lay down on his back. Not long after, he sensed Gu Hai turning over and moving closer to him. Of course, Gu Hai was already in a deep sleep and his guard was already down. What remained is some semblance of innocence and the undeniable promise of youth.

Ignoring the person moving closer to him, Gu Wei Ting turned to his side, facing Gu Hai. He was about to close his eyes when he felt someone grab one of his hands. Those two hands were warmer than his by tenfold. And as they wrapped tightly around his, Gu Wei Ting’s expression became listless for a moment. His eyes fell on Gu Hai once more.

He’s not awake. Is he just subconsciously looking for a place to warm his hand?

As he looked at his son in this state, Gu Wei Ting became deeply moved.

-----

During breakfast the next day, Gu Wei Ting was contemplating the situation he and his sons were facing. He kept quiet for a while, pondering by himself, before he turned and asked Sun Jingwei.

“What do you think about Gu Hai’s situation?”

Sun Jingwei had just taken a spoonful of porridge. He nearly choked on it when he heard those words.

“You’re asking for my opinion?” He asked in a somewhat startled manner.

“Is there anyone else here?” Gu We Ting raised a brow.

Sun Jingwei never expected Gu Wei Ting to ask for his opinion regarding this matter. To say that he was shocked by this sudden show trust is an understatement.

He placed his chopsticks down and smiled awkwardly before taking in a deep breath.

“Actually...as parents, I don’t think we need to make such a big fuss over a minor issue like this” he says. “More often than not, our strong desire to control our children backfires and causes them to be even more determined to do the very things we don’t want them to. I say, let them decide how to handle things themselves.”

“Take my daughter for example. She dated a guy when she was in her second year of junior middle school. They’ve already broken up yet her mother and I still don’t know exactly what caused them to separate. My daughter has learned from her past and is better now. The one time she opened up about it, she completely laughed the entire matter off as if it was a joke. Just think about it! If my wife and I had known about their relationship when they were still together, and tried to break them apart, would she have inevitably taken the matter as just puppy love? Wouldn’t that joke of a relationship become real and genuine in her eyes? Similarly, if you were to personally break the boys up, wouldn’t the two of them subconsciously define their feelings as love? Actually, what have you seen? Hugging? Being intimate? Think about it, when we were younger, who wasn’t affectionate with each other, huh? Perhaps, two or three years from now, when they’re living in a new environment, they’ll turn back and look at everything and see that all of it was just a joke and nothing else.”

Gu Wei Ting remained silent. His gaze never left Sun Jingwei as he contemplated the things he just said.

“Do you mean, I should let go and not care about this?”

“I never said that you shouldn’t care,” Sun Jingwei kindly smiled. He was much calmer now. “The best you can do is guide them. Whether they listen or not is totally up to them.”

Gu Wei Ting gave a cold snort when he heard Sun Jingwei’s last statement. “Then he definitely won’t listen.”

“In all honesty, I think you’re overthinking this matter. Do you remember Xiao Zheng from the third brigade? That guy who--during one of the nightly room check-ups--was found squeezed inside one blanket with with Er Hu, the soldier who slept beside him? After further investigation, it was discovered that their relationship wasn’t normal, and they were immediately expelled. But what happened in the end? After leaving the army, they’ve both respectively got married and had kids within two years. Now, I reckon there was never anything between them from the start.”

“I’ve already thought about everything that you’ve said. But the point is, my son is not Xiao Zheng or Er Hu. You’ll never meet such an unusual breed like him, even in a hundred years.”

Sun Jingwei stifled a giggle.

Even if he’s an unusual breed, he’s still your offspring.

“I don’t think he’s unusual in any way at all. But because he’s your son, you subconsciously think that he’s unusual. If this kind of situation happened to my child, I would also be anxious and eager to separate them at once. But the point is, you can’t rush this sort of situation. It’s useless to be anxious about it. Right now, those two are at a phase where there’s yearning and affection for one another. What can you do to them? Send one abroad and lock the other up in the military base? If they keep on thinking and worrying about each other like this, no matter what you do to separate them, they’ll continue to think of ways to get back together.”

It might not have been evident, but mentally Gu Wei Ting acknowledged those last few words. It gave him the will--but not the strength--to consider another course of action.

Controlling either Gu Hai and Bai Luo Yin or the situation was impossible, but ignoring it all together was impossible as well. From the looks of it, no matter what he does, those two would not allow their passion and love for each other to be weakened or whittle down.

------

Once afternoon class was over, Gu Wei Ting summoned his two sons to have lunch with him.

“After this meal, you both can leave and do whatever you want!” Gu Wei Ting said in a low yet powerful tone.

After hearing those words, Bai Luo Yin and Gu Hai--who were busy burying their faces in their plates-- lifted their heads. They cannot believe what they just heard.

“Dad, what do you mean by that, huh?” Gu Hai asked with furrowed brows. He then glanced at Bai Luo Yin from the corner of his eyes.

With indifference written all over his face, Gu Wei Ting simply let his gaze sweep by him. “What I mean is, you two better not hang around in front of me anymore. Just looking at both of you annoys me.”

Silence. This bit of good news was totally unexpected and unbelievable so neither of them were able to respond immediately.

Bai Luo Yin looked at Gu Wei Ting with disbelief. Just this morning, he was still worrying about the secret tunnel that linked his and Gu Hai’s rooms. He had been considering to quickly cover up the tunnel in fear of Gu Wei Ting discovering it and beating Gu Hai again.

It seems he had nothing to worry about after all, for things have taken a sudden turn for the better.

To Bai Luo Yin’s side, Gu Hai’s hand started to move. He reached out to touch Gu Wei Ting’s forehead but his hands were met in midair by a pair of chopsticks.

“Dad, wait. Are you suffering from something?”

“Don’t act stupid with me!” Gu Wei Ting’s expression darkened, “Hurry up and eat! After you finish eating, leave immediately!”

Gu Hai’s black pupils flickered as he spoke, “Dad, you don’t care about me anymore?”

Gu Wei Ting only spared Gu Hai a few words, “Excuse me. That can never happen.”

“Don’t!” Gu Hai pretended to be obedient and innocent after he succeeded in gaining an advantage. “Dad, you can’t ignore me ah! I’m still counting on you to guide me to the right path. If you stand aside and do nothing, then what would happen to me if some twisted idea comes to mind and I start causing trouble again?”

Gu Wei Ting continued to eat the food inside his bowl. His expression remained calm and composed. “When I cared for you, you never stopped giving me a hard time. Now that I stopped caring for you, you can do whatever you want. At least I don’t have to see any of it anymore.”

“Then, what should I do if I miss you?”

This sentence finally caused the chopsticks in Gu Wei Ting’s hand to stop moving.

Looking at the sudden change in his father’s expression, a knot immediately wrapped around Gu Hai’s heart and strangled it.

Oh my God! Don’t tell me he’s touched by what I just said? What should I do if he really changes his mind and make me stay here? Fuck! I’m so stupid. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut instead of saying that!

Gu Wei Ting shot Gu Hai a quick glance. Then out of nowhere, he burst into laughter. Not a single word was said again. The three simply continued to finish the food inside their bowls.

On their way out, Bai Luo Yin gave the father and son a quick glance. Gu Wei Ting was smiling as he bid his sons farewell. His smile reminded Bai Luo Yin of Bai Han Qi. He would always give him the same sincere smile every time he would leave home.

“Dad, I’ll be going then!” Gu Hai finally said. He was carrying two large bags as he stood at the entrance to bid his father one last farewell.

During the entire time, Bai Luo Yin kept his eyes on Gu Wei Ting. However, when Gu Wei Ting shifted his gaze towards Bai Luo Yin, the latter immediately moved his eyes in order to avoid meeting Gu Wei Ting’s.  

As they walked away side by side, Gu Hai and Bai Luo Yin greeted Sun Jingwei who couldn’t refrain from letting out a heavy sigh as he watched the two figures fade into the distance. “Bai Luo Yin is a pretty good kid.”

Gu Wei Ting, who was standing next to him, shot him a side glance, “How about I introduce your daughter to someone else so you can forget about him?”

“Don’t…” Sun Jingwei laughed while shaking his head, “I’m not worthy of being associated with the higher ups.”

Gu Wei Ting laughed along with him. The two then turned around and went inside together.

-----

As they made their way back home, Bai Luo Yin couldn’t help but be consumed with anxiety. He was so overwhelmed by this emotion, that he could not conceal it from the person beside him.

Gu Hai placed his hand on the back of Bai Luo Yin’s head and happily asked, “Don’t tell me that you’re still mulling over last night’s shock?”

“No, it’s not that,” Bai Luo Yin quietly replied. “I suddenly remembered my dad.”

Gu Hai halted his steps, “How about we go straight to your house?”

“No.” Bai Luo Yin suddenly gripped Gu Hai’s arm tightly, “I’ve been wanting to tell you….I plan on confessing to my father.”

After hearing those words, Gu Hai, whose mood that had just started to relax, suddenly became serious again.

“Is it okay if we take a breather first?” he wearily asked.

“Let’s get it done as soon as possible. Since the first try is always the most impressive, the second is weak and the third one is exhausting...”

Gu Hai’s forehead dropped to his hands, “It can’t be that torturous...”

____________

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The original novel is written by Chai Jidan.

We do not own any of its content, we are translators and editors.