#and the fucking Prison he works in. the music goes so hard. the vibes are off the charts in so many directions jesus christ

[arundolyn]

Crow my friend Crow I love seeing the things you're passionate about always but please tell me you understand how bonkers it is to an outsider that your current blorbos are named Wriothesley and Chloride

im obsessed with the fact that you spelled his name right but not hers it's making me lose it at work

i think neuvillette also counts bc good lord French Name

it's like god cursed me into liking fantasy france im so mad that it's like. fun there. wrio is the Ultimate crow bait and it makes me mad sometimes im ill in my brain about him. whats wrong with him (so much. everything)

also initially i just thought clorinde was pretty but oh i love her silly lesbian ass your honor. she's everything she's the moment she killed her gfs dad but it's okay

[dancing-to-architecture]

29 - The Doors - L.A. Woman (1971)

Not even a full month in and we've got a band repetition, and it's a band i didn't like before, so...

Wait, actually, i kinda like two of the songs on this album. Fingers crossed.

•The Changeling-

The keyboard is back and they have it set to something other than "clown rock"! In fact, it actually kinda kicks some ass here.

Jim's kinda singing like Tom Waits on this one.

"But I've never been so broke i couldn't leave town." So... Not broke, then? Or maybe moving didn't cost so goddamn much back in the day?

All in all, meh.

•Love Her Madly-

The anthem of the Wife Guy, and one of the few Doors songs i genuinely liked before this musical odyssey.

And you bet i love her when she's walking out the door, because when that happens, i often get to see a nice booty as she goes.

Also, I'm fairly certain that she's gonna walk *back in* the door again, because that's generally how doors (and healthy relationships) work.

•Been down so Long-

TOM WAITS RETURNS! to sing about how he should be released from prison so he can go and get his dick sucked.

Honestly had me in the first half, but then the second half starts and I've begun rolling my eyes so hard that i can check out *my own* ass at this point.

•Cars Hiss by My Window-

I like the first lines. Very evocative.

Then the next lines instantly reminds me *why* Jim was so worried about women walking out on him.

Why was it so hard to just... *not* fuck everyone around you at all times, man?

I feel like if Jim Morrison ever did even one second's worth of introspection, he'd have written a song called "I'm the cause of all of my problems".

Shame he died not long after this album released and never got the chance.

•L.A. Woman-

This song is legitimately really good. Everybody's nicely working together musically, the lyrics are not immediately problematic as hell, and even the needless Mr Mojo Rising bridge can't bring it down.

A bit long but it's The Doors, so i was expecting that, and at least this one keeps it moving and doesn't drag on for two full minutes of random noises like The End did.

•L'America-

Cool guitar work in the intro. With the keys coming in, it sounds nice and creepy. Sinister.

Garbage lyrics, though i like the misdirection in the middle.

Okay wait, what the fuck is the tone of this song supposed to be? It's all over the place.

•Hyacinth House-

"I need new friends!" No, you need *better* friends.

•Crawling King Snake-

Kinda bluesy, but there's a heavy vibe of: "The snake is my dick, get it? Do you get it? DO YOU GET IT?!

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THE SNAKE IS REFERRING TO MY HOG. I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS."

•The Wasp (Texas Radio and the Big Beat)

I don't care if it was '71, by then you should have known that "negroes" isn't fuckin cool to say.

It's even less cool to a modern ear, and everything else is mostly rambly talk-singing trying to sound clever.

•Riders on the Storm-

I love *the music* in this song, and the storm noises throughout are a great touch.

But, as usual for Morrison, the lyrics are the kind of quasi-insightful, rhyming dictionary-ass nonsense that only feel deep if you're so baked that "getting off of a couch" is a Sisyphean task.

Overall, i liked it better than the debut, but that isn't saying much. Still not a Doors fan.

Favorite Track: Love Her Madly. It just makes me think of my wife, because it me for real for real.

Least Favorite Track: a tie between The Wasp and Crawling King Snake.

Casual racism vs "4 more minutes about Jim's dick". Both lose.

[sleepyseguin]

tyler seguin | i still see your face (nsfw)

summary: you and tyler break up. it’s harder than you thought it would be. 

a/n: highly recommend listening to driver’s licence by olivia rodrigo to get the whole vibe. my spotify must think i have a problem by the constant repeat. 

It’s not like you haven’t had a break up before. It’s just that this one feels different. Raw. A ragged edge that’s been torn. You drink too much beer and sleep too little. Your friends rally around you, of course they do, drag you to clubs with too many teenagers, tell you they never liked Tyler anyway. But the lie is thin, and in the dim bathroom of the bar one says, but why did you guys break up? What happened? You blink at her, mouth tasting of tequila. I don’t know.

-/-

Of course you know. You’re an adult. You made this decision together, sat on his couch. One of his throw pillows hugged to your chest so he couldn’t see the way your hands were shaking.

“If this is really what you want,” Tyler had said, and you could hear the scratch in his throat, the way his eyes shone too bright. Unshed tears.

 You hadn’t been able to speak, tongue too thick, hot tears on your cheeks, fresh ones ready to replace as they dried sticky on your chin.

 He was away from home too much. Your lives were going in different directions. You had opportunities to travel with work, and it’s not like he could come with you. It was best to do it now, a clean break, rather than struggle on, slowly tearing.

 You’d cried all the way home from his house, struggling to keep the wheel straight. Your mother would have been horrified by the reckless driving. When you’d finally dared to look at your phone, that first night alone, Tyler’s text made you sob all over again. I love you. Always.

-/-

You talk to him, sometimes. You can’t help yourself. It’s like an itch that becomes unbearable. You have to scratch. Meaningless text message chains. How are you? Fine, you? I’m okay. I miss you. I miss you too. You know it’s not helpful, not the path towards healing that your married friends preach. But it makes it easier to sleep. Knowing he’s still out there. It’s a blissful kind of agony when he texts you unprompted, in the middle of the night, sometimes the middle of the afternoon. I think of you all the time or I dreamt about you or I thought I saw you at the game. Your own misery overwhelms. Winter sets in. You struggle through grey days, take the long way home to drive past his street. Pray you don’t see another car next to his.

-/-

You cry on the phone to your mother, great big sobs like a child does when they’ve lost their favourite toy. She tells you she’ll fly out.

 “No, it’s okay. I’m a big girl. I can do this.”

 “You can,” she assures, but the surety seeps away as soon as you hang up. A bottle of wine in front of the television. Take out. You’re either starving or not hungry at all now. You only watch ten minutes of an episode before you’re switching to the NHL channel. It’s too hard to forget the schedule. It’s like a reminder in your brain when you wake up in the morning, he’s playing today. You used to nap together, in the afternoons before games. The weak sunlight, the dancing dust mites. A Friend’s episode turned low. Tyler would reach for you in his sleep, nuzzle into your neck. Like he could never get close enough. Like he knew you would leave one day.

-/-

A mutual friends birthday. You’d tried to make excuses, but even you didn’t believe them.

 “It’s worse to avoid him,” your friend says, “It will only make it harder later.”

So in an effort to do the Right Thing, to be a Big Girl, and Move On, you find yourself drinking too strong punch, pieces of apple and orange floating in a plastic cup, leaning into a guy you just met and laughing too loud.

 And it is fun. For awhile. A mix of old friends and new. Loud music. And for most of the night, he’s not there. He’s so late you think he’s not coming. And you pretend you’re crying because you’re relieved and not because you’re disappointed. You’ve been smart enough to take yourself to the bathroom for the small meltdown, bent over the counter and taking deep breaths. You’re too old to be getting this smashed at a house party. It’s hard to focus on yourself in the mirror, bending light. It’s a good thing he’s not coming, you tell yourself, and wish you could believe it.

 You’re headed to the kitchen, the sink full of ice and hiding your drinks. Tyler is there. Tyler is there, standing in the hallway, talking to the host. His big hand makes the beer he’s holding look like a kid’s toy. He’s laughing, crinkly eyes, the sound reaching you. Slapping the guy on the shoulder, enjoying the joke. He’s so happy. How can he be so happy?

Dark eyes meet yours, the fall of his mouth from the grin. He goes to say something, call out maybe, but you’re turning away already, pushing back into the lounge room, the backdoor. Fresh air. Cold crisp of a Texan winter. The weather reporters are saying it might snow this year. He finds you. Of course he does. In the back-garden, looking up at the moon, counting stars. Your name in a familiar voice. The way he says it makes your heart hurt. You can barely look at him, the grass moving under your feet as you turn to face him. Curls peeking out from under a beanie. Black hoodie, dark jeans. You recognise the hoodie. You used to wear it to bed sometimes.

 “Hi,” you say, trying to be causal, wanting desperately to be, but at the same time you’re reaching out, clinging onto his arm. Don’t ever let go again.

 Tyler smiles, sad and small, “It’s nice to see you.”

 “Yeah,” you breathe, head back, gazing up at him. The moon has nothing on Tyler. Come back to me, you want to say, but this is your fault. You did this. You made this happen.

 “I wanted to talk to you,” he says, and you think yes, yes, just ask me, I’ll come back I promise, “I think it’s better if we don’t talk anymore. It’s too hard.”

 “Oh,” you say. It suddenly seems so much colder out here. “Okay.”

You watch him walk away, back into the house, the light of the party. And if you cry in the Uber on the way home, no one else has to know.

-/-

The first time you sleep together, afterwards, you could almost convince yourself it’s an accident. Not talking hadn’t lasted long. A loss, a commiserating text, a wish to just go back to the way things were. We can, you’d said, just for one night.

 It’s almost awkward, the way he’s a stranger around you again. He looks tired, sore, sweatpants and a hoodie. Pink cheeks from the cold outside. His hair is still damp from the shower, curling around his ears. You want to stay here, like this, forever, letting him sit you down in the bed, holding your face in his big hands to kiss you from where he stands between your knees. The way Tyler says your name, wanting, needy. The press of his body on yours. You missed this. You missed this so much. It would never be the same with anyone else. The way he touches you, so carefully, so purposefully. He knows just how you like it, just how you work together.

 It’s a habit, for you to be on top after a game, not worth making him expend any more energy. But he fights you for it, doesn’t let you settle, rolls you over onto your back again. You protest, mildly.

 “It’ll make you sore,” you say, can’t stop touching him, his hair, his face, his back, his chest. His skin is warm from the hoodie.

 “Don’t care,” Tyler says, a crooked smile, nudging his nose against yours, “I want it like this, want to see you properly.”

 Your heart is broken and remade simultaneously. It’s all you can do not to pull the doona over both of you and hide forever, keep him here like a prisoner. Cherish him for an age. His mother would never forgive you.

 Your body aches for him, as he nudges open your legs, kisses your mouth, your neck, your breasts. You should take your time, enjoy it, the last time, but you can’t help but surge towards the end.

 “Want you inside me,” you whisper, fingers on his hips, angling him.

 “Yeah,” Tyler rasps, aligning himself, “Fuck. Yeah, please.”

The relief of him sinking home, the opening of your body to him. It’s too easy, almost, the rhythm he settles into. Your legs tight around his waist, groaning when he pulls one up over his shoulder, finds a new angle. A big hand palming at your breast, the way he says your name, thick and low. You come a few moments before him, get off on the way he watches you, holds you, fingers caressing just above where he slides in and out of you. It takes everything not to cry, the final release, the drop of endorphins.

 Tyler shakes when he comes, a whole body shudder as he holds himself deep, panting against your ear. You stare at the ceiling and blink away tears. How could you ever have walked away from this? Nothing feels right unless he’s here.

 Later, he gets up to leave, but you reach out before he can get out of bed.

 “Please stay,” you whisper, pathetic. Tyler’s a shadow in the dark, but he’s warm when he slides back under the covers, gathers you up against his chest. You can hear his heartbeat as you fall asleep.

-/-

It takes you another week to swallow your pride. You call your mother, again, cry on the phone, again.

 “I think I was wrong, I think I made a huge mistake.”

 “If he is who you say he is,” she counsels, “He’ll forgive you.”

 “What if he doesn’t?”

You’re convinced that someone will be in your parking spot the whole drive to his house. A new car. A girl’s car. You can’t breathe along his whole tree lined street, until you see the empty spot. Like it’s waiting for you. Like it has been this whole time.

 You almost slump into him when he opens the door, the relief, the grief. He’s surprised to see you. Sleepy. Got in late last night from a Roadie. The dogs are everywhere at once, bumping you into each other as they try to get a cuddle. Tyler stumbles into you, forced by Marshall’s heavy tail. Your hand on his ribcage, steadying. Are you really going to do this? On his front step? Behind him, you can see your red coat on the coat hook. So that’s where it was. You’ve been looking for it in the cold. And he’s kept it, this whole time. Waiting for you.

 “I’m sorry,” you say, “I’m so, so sorry.”

Tyler shakes his head, confused, furrowed brow, “What’s going on?”

 “I made a mistake. I made a stupid mistake. I got scared, and I panicked. The truth is. I love you. And I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. And it’s scary. I’m so scared. But I shouldn’t have taken it on you like this. It was wrong. And if you can’t. If you can’t forgive me I understand. But. I really, really want you, too.”

 He says your name, quietly, prayer like. Your hand is still on his chest.

 “Are you sure?” He asks, and the dogs are still all around you, the front door is wide open. Tyler’s socked feet on the porch.

 “I’m so sure.”

And he’s laughing. He’s laughing. And he’s kissing you. Warm and fresh and familiar. And then you’re laughing and then you’re crying and Tyler is just holding, holding, holding you.

And along the street, a warm breeze blows through the trees. The promise of summer.

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[werezmastarbucks]

amalfi

honeymoon masterlist

word count: 1751

They were probably going out of their minds with worry out there. Even Damon must have already started feeling guilty. God knows what that monster Kai Parker could do with you in the prison world, where he had no other thing to play with, but you.

The sea air was sweet and salty, warm, and your lungs were breathing slowly for you, as you took deep pockets of it through your nose. You knew you couldn’t get healthier even if you spent the whole time at Mar Tirreno. It was rather frustrating that all the time you spent in the sun, warming up and bathing in the lovely May rays, you wouldn’t change a bit because your whole organism was on the loop, too. 

You were going through the CDs again. There were very clear, understandable rules in this world: for instance, never run out of music. You couldn’t function without music. It soothed Kai well, and it made driving everywhere easier. He wasn’t joking when he said he wouldn’t get behind the wheel unless there was a dire need. For that, he cooked.

He cooked so well. All the dishes you didn’t know the names of, he was eager to show off his talent of many years of training. He made food so good you wondered how a heartless person is capable of putting so much soul into it. He even taught you how to cook something, which was a big achievement. 

“Trash. Trash. Trash”, you chanted to yourself, throwing them out of the window. It was such a satisfying feeling to throw something out of the window of a car, even when you weren’t moving. You had to remind yourself though, that, once you get out, it would be littering. Here, nobody gave a shit. The planet didn’t give a shit. It did not acknowledge your presence, it wasn’t aware of you two quietly moving around its surface. It was hybernating. 

Kai was pondering on something, standing on the edge of the cliff. The sights here were beyond words. All the way to the horizon line, the light turquoise sea was calm and looked like warm lemonade. The sky was matching color, and the bright green trees shuffled nonchalantly in the lightest breeze that filled your skin and lungs. 

You’ve been arguing a little, about this and that, adjusting. The Florence fiasco left you feeling a little helpless (Kai raided the local antique library and found a spell that supposedly was used earlier for escaping from places such as this one; you’ve tried it; it didn’t work. Apparently, Bennett blood was still needed), and he wasn’t very supportive. Kai grew lazy and delighted with life like a fat cat; he didn’t even pretend anymore to be stressed out about being here. He was playing his own game of wearing you out into sleeping with him. Ever since you got here, you haven’t even kissed a single time, the shock of change, and the fact of being locked away and all. There was a certain moment when you realized you’re unable to think about romance, because you’re hybernating, too. You were searching for the way out, and pushing Kai to do the same. Although he slept with you every night, and you got quite used to him lying next to you, the unmistakable comforting heat of his body lulling you into sleep, you felt like you wanted to freeze in that moment. You felt like you were restricted by something. 

“It’s your birthday, isn’t it?” you suddenly realized, and turned to him. Your mouth formed an O. “Oh my god, it’s your birthday every day”.

Kai looked at you with the same look he gave you every time he thought you were being slow. Given his hyperactivity, and his sharp psychopathic mind never resting a bitching second, anybody would seem a little slow to him.

“I’m an eternal birthday boy”, he confirmed, a little sleepily, “it’s high time you start treating me accordingly”.

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, starting the car. 

“You know it’s only us here, right? There’s no one to see you, or stop you, to judge you”, he said, cryptic as hell. The road was smooth, the asphalt glistened with heat, gliding car feeling its wheels like they were blades on ice. You went bananas and carjacked a 911 Carrera S for this place. This whole Italian vibe made you feel like you were incredibly rich. Life was sweet like shave ice with strawberry syrop soaking it through. You still waited for the other shoe to drop... looking at Kai, sometimes you thought, what if it never does? He’s crazy. His world is crazy. What if it’s not supposed to be bad here with him?

“I’m aware of that”, you replied.

“You don’t have to pretend”, Kai concluded, “you can admit whatever you feel for me. Sooner or later you’ll end up on my dick anyway. We like each other, it’s a fact”.

Your hands squeezed the wheel as you stared in front of you. Kai had a point. There was mutual attraction. 

There was mutual need, too.

“Maybe I do have to pretend”.

“What for?”

He tried to seem dispassionate, but you knew he was impatient. Kai Parker was a very impatient person. If he got to the car first, he’d always scream to make you move quicker. He knew there was no hurry whatsoever, but he hated to wait. He yelled at stoves. He cursed at traffic lights even though you obviously ignored them all. Just the sight of a red light pissed him off. 

Now, he had to be patient to get to the third base. He was somewhat cunning about it; his night embrace was a little more than just a cuddle. 

“We’re here less than a month. Who knows how long more it’s going to be? I mean, we can’t get bored at once, you know?”

Kaik blinked, processing.

“Right, princess. You want entertainment?”

You didn’t like the tone of that.

Perhaps the way he said it scared you enough to give you a nightmare.

You dreamt you walked down your street in Mystic Falls. It was so atypically dark your skin crawled. You didn’t hear them, but you could feel vampires were around you. They were not usual vampires, like Damon and Stefan - human, friendly, diverse and nice looking. They were monsters from 80s fantasy filled horrors, with long saliva dripping fangs, and, most importantly, demonic. An old feeling of supernatural presence, which startled you at night when Kai attempted to save you by killing you, once again made you freeze with horror. 

You walked faster, trying to get away, and praying for light. Not a single street light was on, you couldn’t even see it. The blackness was thick and absolute, and you knew you’d be attacked any second. Fear was physical in this one, stinging you, making it hard to move your feet. You tried running and stumbled upon something, falling on hard ground. Before you managed to get up, you felt somebody leaning over you, breathing down the back of your head. You were trapped. 

You woke up and stared into the darkness, expecting a painful bite. You’ve been bitten by vampires before. It was very painful, but you couldn’t imagine what it would feel like this time.

Trying to figure out where you are, just like always, you were afraid to move an inch not to produce a sound. Slowly, you moved your fingers, then your shoulders, and started feeling the weight of the blanket on you. You heard the sea. You exhaled through your nose and rolled on your back to see the empty bed. 

“Kai?” you whispered. You sat up and grouped, holding onto your knees. It’s always like that with nightmares; they go, and you stay in them. Brain knows the room is empty, but the mind is still captivated. You still expect them to jump out of the closet. And of all people, Kai Parker must be the one to save you. Why?

“Kai!” you called, irritated. Why the fuck, of all nights he pushes you almost off the bed with his invasive hugs, he’s not there exactly tonight, when you need human warmth to get your head straight. 

“KAI!”

The door opened slowly. He was standing in complete darkness, wide awake.

“What is it?”

You were silent for some time. Admitting your vulnerability to him would be about the last threshold. You’d have to completely love each other after this. You wouldn’t be able to let him go. It all now depended on how he’d react. 

“I had a nightmare”.

He walked towards the bed slowly, sat down and offered his shoulder. He always hugged you in this wide gesture, which he probably saw in a movie. It was a commercial dad hug, wide swing of an arm which then rested around your shoulder. The only times he felt humanly close was when he was clinging on you at night.

He settled on the pillows, bringing you close, and you finally let the air out with relief.

“You still get spooked?” he asked with surprise.

“Yes”.

“What was it about?”

“Vampires”.

He hummed. 

In this night calm, you were close enough to hear something beat in his chest. You asked yourself what curious chain of events made you end up together with this interesting individual. What comes out of it. 

His hand rested on your bare shoulder, fingers drawing uneven circles absently. He seemed a bit distant but he liked touching you. You could still smell your own perfume on his shirt from the day. You got that fragile desire to kiss him, to rub your face on his neck, to be close to him. 

“We’re really completely alone here”, you said.

“Yeah”.

“How did you know Bonnie and Damon came?”

“I felt it, I’m a witch after all”.

“How can you be sure there aren’t any beasts here? Something goes wrong, aliens slither into this dimension. Some chthonic monster. Some ancient spirits. Your own double, or demons. Or something”.

“It’s an empty place, Y/N, I just know it. I have been everywhere around, and I didn’t find anyone. I’d be happy to meet a chthonic monster even. But we are tremendously alone”.

At this moment the hug tightened because you brought him closer. 

“But I like it here with you”, he added, “it’s not that bad. People are boring anyway”.

[deepdonutkid]

Modern head canon part 3

Shelby-Family and music

Arthur

He listens to classic rock like cream and Derek and the dominos. The clash, the Beatles, Queen, the doors… stuff like that, but different to his brother John, he doesn’t keep a lot of records around and doesn’t go to concerts anymore. Also he is not interested in finding new music, but he listens to the radio in the car, because it’s just easier this way. And while he is working on a car, there better be music blasting all over the garage.

Song to represent him: Born under a bad sign- Cream

John

Cus we’re at it!  Like mention before, he owns a huge collection of CDs and Vinyls. John loves concerts and goes to at least one per month. It is probably more. In his free time he wears band shirts. Suits are cool, but not very comfortable. And he would let his girlfriend wear his shirts, because they look super-hot on her. Especially, if the shirt is the only thing she is wearing.

In his apartment there is an expensive sound system, which he can also console from his phone, but no one but him is allowed to touch it. And you can look at the records, but you have to put them back in place, because he likes to have a special order with his collection. Nobody understands that order. Also worth mentioning, John knows bands nobody else knows and he could talk hours about that topic only. His family is already annoyed by him and won’t even ask a music question while he is in the room.

(I have a playlist of songs; I think that suits him just right, but enough said about my little guilty pleasure. So sorry about the list, I couldn’t decide on one song only. If someone is acutally interested or just liked the songs I picked… there are more where that is coming from)

Song:

Little Monster- Royal Blood

Night People- You Me At Six

Just to Get Your High- Arcades and Lions

Do You Want to- Franz Ferdinand

Gang Control- Leftöver Crack

Too Drunk to Fuck- Dead Kennedys

Finn

Sweet, little Finn likes to emulate his brothers. So he is trying to listen to all the old stuff his brothers like. Huge Queen Fan, but he also likes so much more music. Finn has a little thing for minimal and well, he doesn’t fixate on just one genre- but he hides that from John, because John is so picky about music. The smolest Shelby brother also likes going to clubs and dancing there, with the b-boyz and the b-girls. Isaiah is always with him and they keep each other’s back.

Finn is chill and he clearly gives of the “indie-vibe”. I’m thinking of Hozier and Milky Chance.

Song: The Game- Milky Chance |Wasteland, Baby- Hozier

Tommy

(I thought about that so fricking long. What kind of music would Tommy hear? A friend said something like, he don’t like music at all, but I think that’s not possible as music is available nowadays and all around us and it’s human to like melodies and the rhythm)

Tommy is the guy who would prefer silence, especially when he needs to think, but of course, when there is nothing on his mind and he has some free time with his family or friends, music is okay.

He likes romani music as this reminds him of his mother, which was a beautiful singer and would sing whenever she felt the need to. This music also reminds him of his childhood. Tommy is very reflected on that part. He knows when his parents failed and weren’t the best parents. He is still bitter about his father and wished that his mother hadn’t died, but he also remembers how much fun he had with is siblings or his parents, when they had a good day. Sometimes he likes to think about that time of life. And the music brings back the memories. Then he even likes to dance- with the right woman of course.

Besides that he likes instrumental music, like tango music or classical pieces, because there are no distracting vocals.

Song: Barcelona Gipsy Klezmer Orchestra - Djelem Djelem

And I’ll add a song with I associate with him: Bad things – Jace Everett | Bad news- Melody Gardot

Polly

Jazz, definitely Jazz here. To specify… Swing, Gypsy Jazz like Django Reinhard-Style, Bebob and some Gospel, which is not Jazz, but just leave it here.

She can also dance to that and if she’s getting an invitation to a concert she is most likely to say yes. Polly likes to show of her skills and the most guys are pretty impressed by that and her stunning confidence. When she enters the dance floor, the heads turn around.

Aberama likes to dance with her until they fight for air. Then they drop dead on a chair and drink some more.

And she taught Michael to dance, so he doesn’t have to sit around at parties. Actually she taught them all, but it didn’t work with Arthur and John.

Song: Whatever Lola wants- Sarah Vaughan | No Man’s prize – Melody Gardot

Michael

He can dance so well. Some might think he is even better than his mum. While he was in custody with the other family he had dancing classes and he’d loved it. Mainly because there he could meet pretty girls and he was one of the only boys. Until this day he still likes to dance with a girl, but he can also do it solo.

But his taste in music goes far beyond the music his mother likes. He has a thing for hard tech, hard bass, gabba, French core and general techno, but not house. And yes, he learned jump style or hakken, because he liked the challenge. Finn films him sometimes while doing that. He is proud and would totally argue with John about music. Michael also likes some rap and the artist The Weeknd. His music always makes me think of Michael

Song: It’s called XCT –Dr. Peacock |Often- The Weeknd

Ada

She isn’t so fussy about music. If she likes something, she likes it. As easy as that. She doesn’t like to stick to a genre and listens to everything that is shown to her. Her playlist look like pure chaos because there is pop mixed with rock mixed with jazz mixed with metal mixed something else.

And she likes to play music all the time, because she is not comfortable with dead silence. So her music plays while she is working, while she is baking, while she goes for a walk or grocery shopping. She dances a little, but isn’t so confident as Michael or Polly. Ada is somehow pretty up to date when it comes to music. She always knows the latest song of her favorite artists.

Song: Prisoner- Miley Cyrus ft. Dua Lipa |Back to Black - Amy Winehouse

__________________

Am I missing someone? Should I add a character?

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 5 Thoughts Part 1

It’s been so hard for me to make myself start this season because I know it only goes downhill from here but here I am at last. I don’t remember anything from this season and am prepared to hate the transformations (Harmonix because it’s impractical and Sirenix because it’s ugly) so let’s do this.

- I already hate the hair and I haven’t made it past the intro yet. This is promising.

- This is off to a great start. I got the wrong episode. Not by my mistake, however. Now that I found the actual first one, let’s actually do this.

5x01:

- It’s weird to see magic so publicly on Earth. At least they’re having fun. Though, I have to say that I am not a fan of the idea of them having a band. And they have unfair advantage over every other Earth band because they can do their own advertizing without having to pay a cent and it will still be better than any other band can afford since it’s magic. They should have just dropped the band.

- I am gagging over the fact that they have Roxy praise Bloom for the help but not the other Winx girls. They were all there for her and fought to protect her and tried to teach her magic. And at one point she even said she wanted to be like Stella. But now she says that only Bloom is like a big sister. Obviously a plot device to bring in Daphne since she will be resurrected this season and they have to set it up. Especially after season 4 forgot all about her. I am still gagging, though.

- You know, I could have loved the whole ecological message but I am pretty sure they are going to fuck it up anyway. Or just not take it anywhere.

- Ugh, Helia’s hair is so ugly. But at least Sky’s is as well. But what is that box Sky has? Not another engagement ring, please, for the love of everything sacred!

- Ahh, pendant. Yeah, their relationship is going so well that they will need magic to keep it in tact. Though, good luck for both of them will be to just split up and find someone that is actually good for them. Also, why doesn’t Brandon know about that? He is literally the squire and best friend of the prince.

- Poor Layla. She must be missing Nabu like crazy. Please, let her have a season to mourn and don’t shove a new love interest in her face right away. It took her a season and a half to get the first one and he was killed. She needs some fucking time!

- Love that everyone agrees that Sky’s hair is terrible. Even Bloom’s “It looks... great” sounds like a lie.

- Why is Sky going back to Red Fountain? Didn’t he finish that? God, just let them move on already. Also, he is not A Crown Prince now. He was the Crown Prince ever since he was born. He was crowned as the king of Eraklyon. Man, are they retconning everything?

- If Bloom cared so much about what he had to say, she could have asked Musa to give them a sec. I like the little Flora and Sky interaction, though. If only it could have been on a topic different than Bloom. I wish the Specialists would interact with Winx other than their girlfriends more. It would sell the friend group vibe better.

- Aww, I wish Layla wouldn’t hide her pain over Nabu. She probably doesn’t want to affect the others with it and doesn’t want them fretting over her either but this is just so sad.

- Love how Bloom doesn’t even remember Tressa. For a moment there I thought that it was her getting crowned which would have been cooler but yeah. Also, Nereus and Tritannus are almost identical. What the hell makes Nereus hot and Tritannus not? I am so annoyed I started rhyming.

- I love the idea of underwater tech!

- Lmao, gotta love how the king has already picked a favorite. And it doesn’t seem to be a recent choice either. Idk about Tritannus yet, but I don’t like this guy. I am all for him being attacked. He even reacted like an absolute asshole. He reminds me of Erendor.

- Ah, of course. Trident. We couldn’t possibly have another weapon when it comes to merfolk.

- Tbh Tressa would be the best ruler. She seems to have learned her lesson and become braver. And if she’s protecting her brother and doing all the work anyway, why not just crown her?

- Didn’t Flora tell him to wait until he is alone with Bloom? Why did he think a good moment to give her the pendant would be when Layla is visibly worried about what is going on and everyone is there with them? I wish he’d drop it and it would break.

- How the fuck can Flora tell that there is oil spilling into the ocean? The ocean is Layla’s domain and Flora has never been shown to be able to communicate with marine plant life.

- I hate how they had to show that Timmy is obviously physically weaker than Sky. It would’ve made sense for him to had built some muscle at the very least after 4-5 years in Red Fountain.

- How the hell did Tecna delete the oil? You can’t just erase matter out of existence. There should be a rule against that.

- Yeah, I was just going to say that closing the pipes is not going to work if they don’t stop the flow of oil. The pipes might explode but it will keep spilling. Seriously, this is basic logic. Nice move. Now it will be harder to stop because the spill moved underwater.

- What happened to Layla’s wings? Is the oil sticking to them and hindering their movements? You’d think she could prevent that with magic.

- This is what happens when you carelessly put something so important in your pocket. You don’t even need to be running a rescue mission. There’s a high chance that you’re gonna lose it anyway. Also, love how Bloom just left the other guy to drown and no one else went after him either.

- Layla’s awesome. She even managed to pull that guy out even though she was struggling a lot with it. I hate the fact that they forgot she taught the others a spell to breathe underwater in season 3, though. They could have used it. But of course, that would have probably rendered Harmonix unnecessary.

- Wow, they renovated the whole platform to make it eco? Why don’t they just do that with all of the oil platforms on Earth then? It’s not like it took much effort. I want to add to this that if they’d just done that (which probably would have taken a couple of days), they could have easily defeated Tritannus later because his only source of pollution in the first half of the season has been Earth. Because there is ocean pollution only on Earth, you know. They could have used that to incorporate an ecological message, except that would have taken work on their part. And also, most of the toxic substances Tritannus consumed were spilled on purpose by the Trix. So there goes a great wasted opportunity for a thematic message.

5x02:

- Here are my bad bitches. What the hell are they doing underwater, though? It’s kinda cruel to put them in a prison that forces them to use magic if they want to survive it. What happens if they tire out? They could die,

- Aaaand for some reason Bloom is the vocalist of the band even though Musa is literally the fairy of music and the only one that was initially having a contract signed.

- I hope nobody is expecting any commentary from me on the musical performances because I am telling you from now that I will be skipping absolutely all of them.

- The selkies look ridiculous. I could appreciate the idea of having small beings being powerful guardians but they will certainly not serve any greater purpose than the pixies did so this is going to be annoying at best. Also, the selkie of Earth was still there even when the fairies weren’t, right? This somehow implies that magical beings couldn’t stop the disasters that mankind causes to Earth even though the previous season said that it was the disappearance of fairies that threw the Earth into chaos.

- Aww, look at Stella and Brandon! So good when there’s no stupid drama.

- People really went cleaning the beach not just willingly but enthusiastically? That sounds a little unbelievable. I mean, they were supposed to be at a concert and that was an abrupt change.

- Correction, I wish Sky hadn’t lost the pendant so that he could have given it to her and this would have been over. Now he is going to sulk about it for ages and he is probably going to fuck up in a self-fulfilled prophecy kinda manner and I am so not here for it. Just shut up about Bloom and Sky and focus on the action, please.

- Well, Icy is now canonically a monster fucker. Even though she thought Valtor was ugly as hell in season 3 when he turned into a demon. He was uglier than Tritanus in all fairness but still. This seems inconsistent. And I hate her voice. Not to mention that she is already acting OOC when she’s not thinking about getting out even but about fucking him. Come on!

- Is the whole turning into a monster thing some sort of reverse Beauty and the Beast? That could have been interesting... but, of course, this is Winx.

- Yep, the selkies are absolutely useless.

- If the Trix don’t have powers, then how are they breathing underwater? Also, how does toxic waste restore ice and storm powers (there is some connection to darkness at least)? And if they went that route, they could have made their powers have an element of toxicity to them to make it more interesting instead of just having a guy boost their powers yet again. Honestly, the only good thing that came out of this is that Darcy and Stormy seem to be thinking more independently now which would be necessary in order for the DramaTM between the Trix later (that is just about the only thing I remember from this season).

- I wish Darcy would have used her hypnotic powers more in the previous seasons. They are so cool and would be pretty hard to deal with once you’re hit. It could have made for more interesting fights.

- If Tritannus was good, he could actually help cleanse the oceans by sucking out all toxic waste. He likes being a monster anyway.

- Okay, but the Trix know Bloom is from Earth. They should have known it was Winx from the second they felt the fairy magic in the air. That took them long enough btw.

- Of course, the monsters can also go on land even though they are mer-creatures. Makes perfect sense.

- Love how Musa and Flora are using new spells yet they look and act exactly the same way like the old ones so it is just same shit, different story. The writers are so unoriginal.

- Layla is strong! And Winx seem to be a little too strong against the Trix. Although, Believix is supposed to be really powerful anyway.

- This could have been the perfect setup for an Icy x Bloom romance. Sky lost the pendant so his relationship with Bloom is doomed and he later lost his memory so why not just break them up. Diaspro can have him if she still wants him (I don’t know why she would but anyway) and Bloom can get with Icy after Icy realizes Tritannus is not the right one for her. Everyone wins, especially, us, the audience. And it could have been a good way to show that Diaspro has reformed and she and Sky could actually be an okay couple. Or better yet, she dumps him and gets together with Bloom and Icy.

- Layla just kicked Tritanus in the face. Boy, I stan! And the underwater battle with weapons instead of magic is super cool, I love it! Wish there’d been more of that but, of course, only Layla can pull that off and we can’t spend more than a minute focusing on anyone else other than Bloom. Why didn’t Tritannus recognize Layla, though? Or did he just not care?

- Icy crying out for help? By a man? So not here for this. It is ridiculously out of character. How is he so powerful? Once again the villain is so strong it is a wonder they ever got to live long enough to get to the finale let alone defeat him.

5x03:

- Well, Winx sure are at the top of the popularity wave again despite the last time we saw them at Alfea being very different. Also, why is it the beginning of another school year yet again? Honestly, I am so sick of all of this.

- Sky is seriously annoying me with that stupid pendant and he is also the one that is fucking up their relationship with his stupid behavior. He should just focus on being a good boyfriend and do the best he can. I get it that in a world of magic superstitions probably have more merit, but he still has control over his own life and the choices he makes. He can “save” their relationship despite the omen of doom.

- Ugh, don’t tell me there will be Helia and Flora drama in this season to compensate for the lack of such in the last? Why did he only introduce Flora as his friend and not as his girlfriend? And how is he so close with the princess of Linphea? Is he from Linphea as well?

- I agree with Stella. Just when we all thought they were done, they started making even more transformations.

- I don’t think we’ve seen Daphne be anything but calm but it’s understandable when she is talking about the thing that made her a disembodied spirit. Still it feels weird to see her not believe that Bloom can handle whatever comes her way. Especially after the defeat of the Ancestral Witches. I guess that is what bugs me in this scene.

- Wow, Darcy admitted that Winx are stronger than them and neither Icy, nor Stormy protested? It’s good that they’re self-aware. It just seems a little OOC. And another power up in two consecutive episodes? Seriously? Will they ever get anything done on their own again?

- At least Sky is asking for advice. I am surprised that they are letting him interact with Flora yet again but I actually kinda like it.

- Why are they all gasping in surprise. They have been to the archive already when Bloom stole the Codex in season 2. It is the same room; they have seen it. Get over it already.

(- *sigh* I just lost my thoughts on half the episode. This season is not agreeing with me.)

- Flora was acting weird while Crystal was helping Helia. It was kind of like she was mad it was Crystal who could save him and not her and that is weird for Flora. I think she would have just been grateful he was saved.

- I suffer when the books suffer... and they did suffer a lot in this episode. Also, how come Stormy is creating life again? This still doesn’t make sense to me but compared to other things, it is more minor.

- I love Darcy’s hypnotic powers and the fact that she was using them on Stella. I think I might be starting to seriously consider this ship (as opposed to just entertaining the possibility of a cool dynamic between them). I mean, Stella looked like she’s seen the hottest new fashion collection and I know it was the magic but still. I kinda want a Darcy who is on her own (without her sisters) and manipulating/spelling Stella into being with her so that she could make place for herself in the Solarian court. And then she falls in love, of course.

- Just please tell me Sky won’t be without his memories for the rest of the season because that will just be too annoying. If they are going for drama, it would be good to at least make it relevant instead of shoving it in there by the ton for the sake of it.

5x04:

- Since when is the whole school so invested in Bloom? They weren’t when she was actually there and even though Winx are kind of legends now, you can bet your ass that there were still fairies that don’t like them. Not to mention that they shouldn’t all know what the hell happened when no one was there to witness it. Why would they let the whole school know if Erendor doesn’t even know yet?

- You are seriously telling me that Stella hadn’t considered being a fashion designer before? Really????? She literally spent her summer after season 1 as an intern for a fashion magazine and has been designing clothes since about the same time. This is just too dumb for words.

- Love how adorably awkward Timmy is. And I love that Tecna doesn’t mind at all. They are just too cute together!

- Ooh, tension between the Trix. That is interesting. Or at least would have been if it were focused more on the power balance in their own dynamic rather than on hate vs love for Tritannus. Why does everything have to be about guys?

- At least Flora seems to like Crystal now which is cool. But I cannot express how annoyed I am by the fact that the whole thing with the pendant is preventing him from getting his memories back. And the stupid thing is that this actually has potential. Losing the pendant could be the peak of Sky’s guilt towards Bloom for all the pain he’s caused her (about Diaspro and not only) and that could be very interesting to explore but this show will never go that deep. It’ll just remain as wasted potential. Just like everything else is.

- Okay, why does no one ever start with amnesia patients by asking them how they would like to go about things, how they feel? Stuff like that.

- Tecna really turned into a robot. Again, no fucking magical system to explain how you can turn a human into a robot. Plus, this could be interesting as well and also really deep but, again, this is Winx. It is not going to be deep. Even though they could have done so much with that premise and given Tecna a really cool arc.

- Ah, yes, I forgot to mention this while I was on the previous episode. I am done with Neptune being so dismissive and even aggressive against his other son. Like, maybe if you had tried some parenting, none of this would have come to pass. Just a thought. I am not saying that parents can prevent any bad choices their kids make but I am saying that he doesn’t look like he tried too hard to be a good dad. Nereus only turned out okay because they are twins and one of them has to be good while the other is evil. I am glad at least someone is trying to reach Tritannus even if he is beyond saving.

- Oh, off, Tritanus is not messing around. You know what? I actually like that. It was about time they made the villains as ruthless as they are trying to make them out to be. Even if I feel bad for his family because they just wanted to help him.

- Why do the selkies talk in the third person? They just went from useless to majorly annoying.

- Why don’t they just go get Faragonda? She may at least know what they are dealing with and possibly clue them in on how to unspell Tecna. They don’t have to reinvent the wheel, just find someone who knows how it was made.

- Great, they just set fire to the archive and nobody bothered to put it out. And they also released the elements in there. The question remains - will the archive survive their search for the Sirenix book? (What the hell were those other books, though? I would like to know where they came from.)

- Okay, but wasn’t the book Tecna opened cursed? What happened to that? And why did the spell on her phone only activate after she opened the book? This doesn’t make sense.

5x05:

- I am very confused about the order of episodes. “The Lilo” should be before “The Power of Harmonix” because they are still using their Believix powers but it makes more sense for the Harmonix episode to be after “The Book of Sirenix”. Anyway, I am watching “The Lilo” because Wikipedia says it’s the fifth episode even though it looks more like filler that wasn’t even meant to be in the season.

- At least we get to see Flora do something this time. She is the most neglected and it’s good to see her use magic for something else other than growing ivy. Seriously, Flo, chill with the ivy.

- “When I think of you, Helia, I believe in myself.” Because she can’t believe in herself if she doesn’t have a boyfriend. The intro is so totally right! What a way to show girl power!

- Why is the animation overly flowy? Is it because it is closer to 3D in order to tie better with the actual 3D later on? It kinda pokes out your eyes sometimes. Or at least mine.

- Someone remembered that the Whisperian Crystals were a thing. I love how they just made them sort of like GPS for magical objects even though they were only supposed to track the Dragon Fire. Proof of that is the fact that they never used them to track the Ring of Solaria even though they wanted it as well. So this is just a cop out to give them a chance to find the Lilo.

- Of course, the Lilo is in the possession of Mitzi’s little sister. Why wouldn’t it be?

- Gotta love how even the writers realized that it was too convenient for everything to be in Gardenia so they started making up excuses for it.

- Wait, how does Mitzi know who the Trix are? Have they... They haven’t met, right? What the hell? Also, Icy was literally standing in front of Macy but she couldn’t just grab the plant herself and had to order Darcy and Stormy to do it? Lazy much?

- Darcy’s powers are going back to their peak this season and I am so here for it.

- Flora legit just hit Icy with her shield. That was a good move and a little more aggressive than I would have expected from Flora but I’m not complaining.

- Great way to almost hit Macy, Stella.

- There was zero point to this episode. I guess they just had to do something to get them to a total of 26 episodes. And putting it right before the episode in which they get Harmonix is just ridiculous because they just powered up their Believix... right before they’ll stop using it.

5x06:

- They can’t even open the Book of Sirenix? Huh, that’s... kinda interesting actually.

- Oh, come on! Just when Bloom was making progress, Crystal brings in Diaspro. You have to love how the writers are implying that Crystal is no good by having her being friends with Diaspro. I thought we were over the Crystal drama but it looks like there will be more. And why is Bloom not losing her mind? Diaspro literally mind controlled Sky! Goddammit, it’s in situations like this I wish I could trust Erendor to do the best for his son! If Bloom could trust he wouldn’t side with Diaspro, she could have called him to let him make sure Diaspro stays away from Sky.

- Oh, they can lose their powers if they fail the quest? I like that! Extra stakes besides the Tritannus situation. This feels more intense now and I am here for it.

- I like the implication that there are other great fairies in the Magic Dimension and it’s not just Winx. Less so fond of the fact that the other fairies seem to be underhanded but I’ll take what I can get.

- Awwwww! That scene with Stella, Tecna and Musa was so precious! I love Stella’s joking and the fact that Tecna is so upset about what happened but she still believes their reassurances! And Musa saying she might start talking about her mother... *sob* This is so precious! They are opening up to each other even more than they have already! And about the tough topics. Ah, my heart!

- Okay, I kinda like the solidarity between Bloom and Layla. Also, the fact that Flora finally figured out what they are doing. Though, that’s kinda weird to me. Flora has been more wary of the reckless plans but I don’t think she would put her powers above her friends and possibly Layla’s whole realm if not the whole universe.

- Really wish it would have been someone else that had saved the horse and not Bloom.

- “Shadow hand”? Man, I was right. Darcy’s powers are peaking! Also, whatever spell Icy used on Winx to make it harder for them to move was super cool as well. I like it.

- They have to complete the Quest in one lunar cycle? That’s 28 days... On Earth. Maybe they should have specified which moon. Since Solaria has 2 suns there are probably millions of moons out there. Okay, that isn’t working out and I wish they had been more specific with it. This episode had some cool stuff about the Magic Dimension already and they could have done more. Anyway, one lunar cycle sounds like a short time but since it’s Winx, it is probably a long time.

- Oh, they just all got Harmonix without doing anything in order to earn it. Greaaaaat. And I have to say that the Harmonix design is so impractical. Why so many veils? They’re just gonna boggle them down. Of course, nothing ever gets wet on shows but seriously? If you’re fighting with someone, they can grab you by the veils or the veils can tangle around you and become the reason for your demise. This is stupid.

- Okay, so Tecna was being really insecure but they left her behind in the search of the Gem of Self-confidence? Like, you just threw away a golden opportunity. I am into the idea that they are going in the Magical Reality Chamber to still be at the place of the action so to speak and be able to help the rest better, though.

- Love the idea of the boat that can go to any water body. I would like one. Less so enthused about the contradiction in this very episode. Stella was complaining about wearing heels when she could have just changed with magic. The proof is right there since she changed hers, Bloom’s and Layla’s whole outfits just about 10 minutes later. This is ridiculous.

- Not @ the way the writers already threw Roy in despite the fact that it has been just five episodes since the beginning of the season. Also not @ the way he seems to be the stereotypical “girls need my protection” guy. Wish Layla would just keep not liking him. But they are probably trying to emulate what happened with Nabu at first. Ugh, I hate this so much I can’t even tell you.

- Oh, come on! They’ll be bonding with the selkies now? Let me guess, that was only written so that the selkies can get their powers back through the bonds, So Tritannus will enter the Infinite Ocean with the stolen selkie powers and Winx will enter it with help from their bonded selkies. This is so transparent, I can’t even. Also, totally needed their selkies to be matching the color of their Harmonix. I mean, how else are you gonna tell that they’re their bonded selkies? Not like they have personalities or are relevant in any way. Also, can another fairy bond with a selkie that has been “taken”? Like, there is a pixie for every fairy but the selkies are much less so... what the hell? This doesn’t make any sense.

- I hate what they did with the challenge for self-confidence. They could have done so much better. But first, Bloom’s test is all about Sky (which is dumb as fuck because it literally tells you their relationship is the biggest source of insecurity in her life) and Stella’s is about her not having confidence in her fashion taste? Really? Layla’s was most cutting as always but they didn’t even try to make it hard. It was so obvious that Nabu was an illusion because he was being cruel to her and the real Nabu would never. They should have gone for something else that would have really made her struggle with figuring out it is not real. Plus, by figuring out it is not real, she didn’t exactly confront her issue with confidence. And Bloom and Stella couldn’t even break out of it on their own and needed her help. How is that successfully passing the test?!?!?!?! And I was just starting to think that this could be getting better. It was I who should have known better.

5x07:

- Aww, I love how dedicated Stella is to knowing stuff about Solaria. She is going to be a precious queen. Also, her guardian of Sirenix is so beautiful.

- Ugh, the Trix are pulled apart again. I hate it. Darcy and Stormy do have a point. I just wish Icy would keep her head in the game. Also, do they sleep out in the open? In a swamp or whatever the hell that is?

- Wow, Sky that has no memory treats Bloom better than Sky that has memory of her. Interesting. Like, if he can calm her worries about Diaspro so easily when he doesn’t even remember how much he loves her, why didn’t he do that in the previous seasons? Honestly.

- Roy is annoying me just by cheering for Winx. This is not going well.

- Oh, damn, Flora got turned into stone. What did Tritannus do to that jellyfish? Turn it into Medusa (lmao, fun fact - jellyfish is called medusa [more like meduza but still] in Bulgarian)? Seriously. And why is Flora the one saving the selkies when she is the only one that isn’t bonded to any?

- Since the Trix also didn’t put any work into earning their powers, it is only fair that Winx get a free upgrade as well. I am just glad that at least the Harmonix spells look differently even though they function in the same generic way.

- Hey, Sky is actually starting to remember? Good. I was prepared to suffer through this amnesia arc up until 5x13 at least but now I have timid hope that it will not last that long. I guess the writers haven’t heard of muscle memory, however.

- How did the Gem of Confidence turn Flora back into herself when the jellyfish that turned her into stone had nothing to do with it? It was Tritannus’ doing and not even intentional. It shouldn’t have had petrifying powers in the first place. None of this makes any sense. Not to mention that the Gem somehow multiplied to six gems. I mean, really? Would’ve been much better if they could only choose to complete one box aka everyone else would lose their powers but then through their shared goal (aka Faragonda telling them that they have to be of one mind and heart) they could have all gotten the Sirenix. Just no other powers. That would have been way more interesting (obviously Layla would be the one whose box they’d complete and I don’t believe the Dragon Fire can be extinguished anyway so Bloom could even have a loophole out of that). And besides, they don’t use the old transformations anyway.

5x08:

- Stella is rocking that outfit. But why streaks? Stella, no!

- Tecna and Timmy are absolutely adorable with their mega nerdiness. I love it.

- Jeez, really? Sky is a better dancer with amnesia than Brandon is? I mean, this could have been plausible if they hadn’t established already in the previous episode that his muscle memory has fucked off into oblivion as well. Otherwise, yes. As royalty, he is probably better at dancing. Even though battle requires a lot of coordination as well. But nice of Kiko to try to help.

- Come on, Stella, you’re being insensitive. You would be “moping” too if Brandon had died. Please, don’t try to set Layla up with guys. Just give her some time to grieve!

- I don’t know what Stella expected. Of course, Layla is going to get offended by that. She doesn’t want company, she wants Nabu back.

- Oh, come on! Musa really got mad at Riven just because he liked the music another girl was playing? What, is he supposed to only listen to her music now? She isn’t even the vocalist of their band.

- They only have 10 days left to complete the missions? When did they manage to waste so much time? Like, they legit got the first thing done in one day. Where did the other go?

- Tressa has had so much growth since season 3. I love her. Really wish they’d let her be queen. But wtf, why can the king know what all of his subjects are doing? That is so invasive. Also, Layla should not be in the range of his powers. Man, the writers are really pulling some bullshit here.

- You’d think the selkies will learn that they can’t stop Tritanus and will try to not get in his way so that he wouldn’t get to steal their powers. But nope, they are both useless and stupid.

- Okay, Stella did mess up and she should have known why what she did was a bad idea but Layla giving her the silent treatment is not going to help either. I hope that the fact that Musa is dealing with the loss of her mother can help the two of them patch things up as well. Maybe there will be a lesson in this for both of them.

- Now it makes sense why Musa turned into an ocean type of monster. And this is a good opportunity for Stella and Layla to find their balance again and help save Musa.

- Stella’s attacks are still hurting Musa. And wouldn’t it make more sense for Layla to use her powers to stop her? She could make a net with morphix that will be both more reliable and less harmful for Musa. Seriously, why do they always make the dumbest choices possible?

- You know what would have been more interesting? If the healing of the bond could only work one way and the selkie didn’t get her powers back. They could have brought in Galatea to also bond with her in order to restore her powers later on so that they could enter the Infinite Ocean. That would have been more creative. But nah.

- Stella’s sudden understanding of Layla really came out of nowhere. And it felt like Layla only forgave her because she didn’t want to fight with her anymore, not because she was truly okay with what Stella did. This could have been done so much better.

- These Sirenix quests are so convenient. They all have to do with places the girls know and clues they have history with. It would have been much harder if they had to go to planets they don’t know how to navigate and a better way to do more worldbuilding.

- Bloom really can’t take 10 days away from the Sky mess? They can literally lose their powers forever which could mean handing Tritannus victory but she is more concerned with Sky’s memory that can possibly only get better in the next ten days while she focuses on the mission? Oh, come on!

- They are really trying to push hard the idea that Bloom and Sky are destined to be together. Also, now that they found the shell, can Sky’s memory block disappear? It would make sense. Please, just end this already.

5x09:

- Really? Bloom is sensing that something is wrong with Daphne but Marion isn’t? This could have been a cool moment to bring in the fact that their parents are back. Especially since Bloom isn’t going to do shit about it. I mean, how dense is she that she didn’t recognize the clouds of pollution hanging around Daphne in her dream? Could have at least tried to contact Daphne to make sure she was okay. Especially since she knows that Daphne talks to her through her dreams and that has been A Thing since season 1. I just... cannot.

- I... don’t even know what to say about Stella here. On the one hand I understand her frustration as she feels like no one supports her passion for fashion but on the other hand... Stella, no! Brandon was right that she needs to consider other people’s feelings sometimes, though, I’d say none of Winx exhibited particularly high levels of empathy here except maybe Flora.

- Oh, Tecna. On the one hand I want to say that there shouldn’t be a reason to feel nervous face to face with Timmy when they get along so well, but on the other, we have all experienced what she’s talking about. Texting can be so much easier sometimes even if it can also be dangerous because it lacks the context of body language.

- Seriously? We’re gonna make it through all the girls’ planets. I said it before and I’ll say it again, but this Sirenix Quest sure is damn convenient. At least it is kinda ironic that the Gem of Empathy is on Zenith since they seem to rely on technology more.... Man, that could have been an awesome opportunity to make Zenith more three dimensional by explaining that they develop so much technology so that they could make the lives of everyone easier when they have digital assist aka their focus on technology is driven by empathy. But again, that is just too deep for this show.

- Oh, come on! Stella really turned into a three-year-old? Why the hell would there be an age-changer spell in the pin? This doesn’t make sense. And again, a fucking wasted opportunity. Stella was running low on empathy here so including her in the search for the Gem of Empathy would have provided way more character development than this shit right here. I would have sent Stella, Tecna and Musa to get the Gem and Bloom, Flora and Layla to go look for Daphne. Or better yet, Stella and Tecna for the Gem, Musa and Layla after Tritannus and Bloom and Flora to check on Daphne.

- Is Layla ever going to use her Harmonix powers? Seriously, she has transformed how many times now and I can’t remember her using any of her new magic.

- Why is Layla now smiling at Roy even though she never transitioned from “annoyed” to “friendly teasing”? I hate this so much.

- It must be weird for Brandon to see his girlfriend as a three-year-old while he is still twenty. Like, that will make for a fun conversation once the spell wears off.

- It is so goddamn obvious that Tritannus has been there! Like, did the clouds of pollution not tip you off?????? Honestly, why don’t any of them have normal rationalizing abilities? It is a simple deduction! You don’t need the selkies to tell you! Besides, didn’t they already say that he crossed over to Zenith? This is like looking between a needle and a single straw of hay and having to point out which is the needle and they are failing!

- Shoot, I thought “where the one looks over the many” was supposed to be something of a mathematical riddle or something that would have to make Tecna focus on the whole rather than the details. The throne thing? Just... meh.

- I would have preferred it if their test of empathy involved something that was already inside them and came from themselves rather than them being placed under a spell by the Gem. It could have brought out their most unempathetic thoughts but I still think there was a better way to do this, and a more emotional one.

- Seriously?????? I mean, FOR REAL?!?!?!?!?! THAT is what they had to do to get the gem???????????????????????????????????????????????????? They didn’t even resolve their issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did they prove they were worthy of having it. God, I hate this.

- How did the age-changer spell had any bearing on the plot or the characters? It literally didn’t do anything for Stella or Flora, Musa and Brandon for that matter. They had so many amazing opportunities in this episode and they were all wasted. I just... *frustrated sigh*

5x10:

- Is it just me or is the idea to put the Christmas filler episode right a couple of days before the deadline for the Sirenix Quest the worst idea ever? Well, not the worst because this show is just full of bad ideas but still somewhere up there with the big guys.

- I was gonna get incredibly angry if they’d made Christmas be a thing in the Magic Dimension but they got at least that right. And that way it’s cute that Bloom gets to introduce her friends to a new holiday. They all got so excited about the presents! Adorable! The only thing that would have made this better was if she’d invited Marion and Oritel to Mike and Vanessa’s as well to celebrate together.

- I was ready to hate this episode but it has actually caught my attention. Love how the Trix decided the magic of Christmas is literal magic and they want to steal it from Bloom. This is actually exactly what a funny filler episode should be like.

- Aww, a surprise Musa and Riven moment. That was adorable.

- Am I the only one who is getting Yu Gi Oh vibes from this monster? Okay, four monsters (Why four? That is so random. Three would have made more sense.). They just remind me too much of Blue Eyes White Dragon.

- You know what would be really cool? If Stella made a cage with mirrors at key places to reflect the light beam she shoots at the creatures so that it would keep running through the cage to stop them from reforming.

- Oh, wow. Faragonda showed up. I never thought that would happen. Not that she’s been much use. Like, you fought the Ancestral Witches! Surely, there has to be something you can do! Not to mention that how the hell did the Trix get magic of the darkest order? That’s just bullshit.

- You know what? I would be more worried about the fact that they may not be able to break the spell before they run out of water and food and other essentials. Like, the Christmas thing is upsetting but not a priority right now,

- Okay, the Trix are inside the ice dome but the ice dragons aren’t? That seems like a hole in their plan.

- The others got the spirit but they a little confused. Bloom doesn’t just miss Christmas but spending it with her family and they can’t give her that. Though, none of them didn’t even try to teleport. Depending on the way you do it, maybe they could have gotten out.

- This episode is kinda all over the place but at least it has that cool vibe from season 1 when they got to actually just chill around the school and do some fun stuff. Actually put time in just being friends. Oh, and the friendship charm bracelets are really cute! I love them.

- You know they don’t have what to put in an episode when they give the full transformations twice. Nice job, there.

- Making a hole in the dome does not sound like the best course of action because Winx could have just gotten out of there and forced the Trix to chase them. But no one thought of that.

- I feel second hand embarrassment on Icy’s behalf. If she ever gets to learn that she misunderstood about the magic of Christmas, that is. The way things are going, Bloom is gonna blast them out of the dimension without ever revealing that this was all for nothing.

- Well, Bloom could have just used her Dragon Fire to destroy the ice dragons the moment they appeared and none of that would have happened but why the hell would she do that? I have to say that I would have preferred it if Winx and the Specialists had gone to Gardenia instead of having Gardenia go to Alfea. Like, I get it that they wanted to make Christmas touch the Magic Dimension as well but Alfea has never celebrated a Zenithian-specific holiday for example or a Solarian one. It just makes the whole Winx universe a little too focused on Bloom again.

5x11:

- Omg, I am feeling so bad for Daphne. Hasn’t she suffered enough? Though, I have to say that I am at least glad Icy came up with a decent plan for counteraction this time even if it is cruel. At least it makes sense!

- Why the hell is the wind-rider competition held in Alfea? It should have been in Red Fountain but I guess the animators couldn’t be bothered to pull out their old animation of it and remember how to draw it.

- Bloom giving Sky a pep talk was kinda cute. I get why he would be nervous and it was cool that she did her best to help him. And that moment with throwing some harmless magic his way to show him his own reflexes was actually smart and hella cute as well. I just wish they wouldn’t have gone for the “he is the best Specialist ever to live” thing again but I’ll take it as his friends telling a white lie to soothe his anxiety.

- So the Trix are just being bullies for no reason at all. Also, they already used that invisibility spell when they messed with Tecna’s phone. Or at least it looked the same.

- Poor Kiko. Getting accused for something he didn’t do and then also being attacked by clones. But was it that only he could see them? Because otherwise, it should have tipped Bloom off that something’s wrong.

- They don’t need to remind us every time that there is no time to waste for the Sirenix Quest. We get it. And even if I had the episodes spaced out by weeks, I doubt I would forget that they have a time limit considering that this is not plot heavy and they have mentioned it, like, a million times already.

- Oh, they’re going to Linphea next. Look, even Tecna noticed that all the parts of the Quest have been on their home planets.

- Wow, Flora, you think the flower might be on your planet? Damn, girl, you’re such a genius. No one would have ever guessed. They have an ocean of flowers and she is still not sure? W.O.W.

- Love how it took Faragonda and Saladin a solid minute to interfere. Not like they were in a war or anything and should be 100% prepped to deal with crises. Why would you think that? And Griselda (and the other Alfea teachers) didn’t even get to do anything. Not to mention that Mirta has been studying at Alfea for a forth year now and she didn’t even try to fire at the beasts... You know, what could be considered an instinctive reaction.

- “Only one more keeper...”? Yeah, because there are only six-seven planets in the whole universe! (Didn’t he already get the powers of the selkie of Earth as well as from everyone’s home planets except for Bloom’s? Who’s gonna restore the Earth selkie’s powers... Wait, is it going to be Roxy? And does that mean we’re finally going to Domino this season?)

- I was gonna ask whatever Roy was gonna do without Layla being there but he isn’t there either. So why was he there the other times if not to drive the boat? They gave him one job to justify his presence and then they took that away as well.

- Funny how it is always the selkies of the girls that have gone on the Quest that appear and not any of the others. One of them (I am not even gonna bother to learn their names) said she could sense the presence of her fairy but still. Though, with their powers restored, I guess they could do that.

- Do I remember wrong or are Flora and her selkie the only ones that actually hugged? Cause that was kinda cute.

- Okay, Sky’s plan was good but did Bloom really need him to pull her out of the way? I am pretty sure she could have done that on her own since it was obvious what the plan was.

- If I were Stella, I’d be worried that a plant might eat me too. Having courage doesn’t mean that you can’t be afraid. It means that you find it in yourself to go on despite the fear. So I’d say Stella is courageous enough.

- Okay, but this plant looks like it was touched by Tritannus’ pollution and so did all the rest of the places from the Quest (except for Melody). So that means that what is happening wouldn’t have happened if not for him aka they aren’t actually completing the Quest because they are fighting Tritannus’ influence on the environment, not performing the tasks from the Quest.

- Good! Tecna and Layla are actually being strategical about this even though all Bloom wants is to hang out with the boyfriend. I wouldn’t mind if she didn’t just get targeted. But why the hell would she care about her safety - or Sky’s for that matter - when they can go on a romantic walk instead?

- Really? They need a translator? Flora has communicated with plants numerous times before. She should be able to understand what the Flower of the Depths is saying to them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dear god, the writers are really trying to be as stupid as possible.

- Why didn’t Bloom try to transform before jumping against the Trix? Or at least shoot some magic at them? Once again, how are they still alive?

- Darcy’s powers are awesome and she’s using them well. I love how she pushed Musa in her own trap. But damn, it was harsh of Musa to try to cause the rocks to crush Darcy. I thought the Trix were supposed to be the cruel ones.

- Wow, I thought Icy would have at least a couple broken bones after Layla smashed her in the rock like that but nope. She’s fine.

- Okay, I actually think that Sky and Bloom are cute in this episode, what the hell? I like the fact that they decided to stop trying to get the past back to him. That may even actually help him remember when he’s not stressing and straining to do it. I thought that Bloom meant one of the memories she wants to keep was that of the shell they found, though. Wasn’t that soulmate special or something?

5x12:

- Icy is really not paying attention, huh? I mean, Tritannus saying that he would give her one more chance somehow didn’t sound too reassuring to me. He gave the Trix their powers so he could probably take them away any time he wants and then destroy them. Which sounded exactly like what he was planning to do before Icy convinced him to give her one more chance.

- Well, they noticed the pattern of the Quest running through all their home planets. They could have tried looking for the yellow reef on Domino before asking the guardian of the Sirenix box. Just to do something on their own, you know.

- Who let Bloom go in that dress? Didn’t Tecna say Stella was there as well? How could she let Bloom even put that thing on, let alone wear it to the Domino renewal celebration. Also, why the hell is that happening only now? It has been a season and a half since Domino was restored. I thought this would be the discussion of Tritannus.

- Love how they didn’t even redo the footage from SotLK and just slapped the different art style right in the middle of the one from season 5. Lazy as lazy gets.

- Um, wasn’t the plan to capture Bloom? And if they changed it to getting Marion and Oritel, why didn’t they try to do that when Bloom wasn’t there? They couldn’t get her but they will somehow get her parents who literally defeated the Ancestral Witches while Bloom and two or three of her friends plus Sky are also there? How does that make sense?

- Oh, come on! The dresses looked much better without the flowers. Also, you’re telling me that Stella made them fit the same theme as Bloom’s but she didn’t have anything to do with Bloom’s dress? This is just... ridiculous. Also, how do flowers relate to Domino? Sparks or even gems would have made better sense. A fire pattern even.

- Marion and Oritel are giving very different vibes from the ones in Magical Adventure and even SotLK (even though they had like five lines each in that one).

- Did Bloom suddenly forget that Sky does not remember how he saved the Sword? And she left him alone even though he doesn’t have his memories? Also, why do none of their parents know about that? And up until this point, there were always three of them going on the Quest. But now that Bloom is actually needed somewhere else she is going even though she could have left it to Stella, Layla and Flora? Come on!

- Didn’t the pendant sink in the ocean on Earth? Where are the selkies now? And how come Flora’s selkie decided that she will know who the pendant belongs to? You know, out of the infinite number of people in the whole universe. The fact that she just so happens to actually know is yet another too convenient convenience but still.

- The mimicry fish are adorable and I love them.

- Wait, can any selkie open any portal? I thought they could only open the portals that they were guarding. But then Winx shouldn’t have been able to pass from Domino back to wherever Tritannus attacked - Andros maybe?

- Love how Marion instantly jumped away when the Trix attacked despite how much her outfit must weigh. And you’re telling me that Oritel is the fighter between the two of them? Yeah, right. Just please, let her use her magic to stop the Trix. We know she has it! Don’t make her look helpless because she is far from it.

- Well, of course, even the oceans of Domino are the best and have the rarest fish even though it is the planet of the Dragon Fire and Andros is the center of all oceans. Makes perfect sense.

- Okay, Marion and Oritel are definitely giving waaaay different vibes from the ones in the movies but I have to say that I kinda like how fierce they are. Not @ Oritel’s “Still have it in you?” because duh, she obviously does and even more so than you do, Oritel, but other than that I love how smoothly they just switch from celebration to a fight that is potentially for their lives. Also, I like that Sky gets to fight with them... Or at least he was supposed to.

- Yes, the one time Bloom is there, the others are completely useless. Also, that thing is not a coral. Wasn’t the Gem supposed to be in the jaws of the coral, not whatever the hell this fish is. And how is it in its mouth? How does it not ingest it when it eats? This doesn’t make sense.

- Love whatever Marion did there with shooting magic out of her sword. However, I don’t like the fact that the writers have forgotten she has magic and is not defenseless without a sword. And how did that trick even work? She could have just turned around and seen that it wasn’t the real Oritel. Not to mention that if Oritel knows the Trix are descendants of the Ancestral Witches, Marion does too aka she should have known that one of them has illusion powers. Given the fact that they fought a whole war against Lysslis, I am pretty sure she has faced similar tricks before and should have known better.

- Please, tell me the creature was supposed to vanish and it wasn’t Bloom that vaporized it from inside. Also, I so totally knew the last gem would be green. It made perfect sense.

- At least they remembered that Oritel’s sword is supposed to be special because it has Dragon Fire in it.

- Bloom and Sky saving her parents “together” makes no sense because Sky doesn’t have magic. So it wasn’t him that helped her save them but the sword.

- Their declarations of love were kinda undermined by him remembering and in such stupid way. Like, all the progress he made in restoring their relationship and even remembering a little wouldn’t have mattered if he hadn’t gotten the pendant back. Aka his blockage wasn’t actually going away. It was still there which means that his emotions were not getting worked out.

- I know Marion and Oritel will not go help save Daphne even though that would be the only logical thing and I am so fucking mad about it, you don’t even know.

5x13:

- Oh, god! They changed even the intro and the 3D animation is as ugly as I remember it to be. Love how they also spoil the fact that the girls will get Sirenix in this episode. Not that the title of the episode doesn’t.

- I have beef with this recap. That fish that had the Gem of Courage was so totally not a shark. It just wasn’t. I’m no shark expert but that was definitely not a shark. It looks like some fish you can find in the depths (I don’t remember their name) but it sure as hell ain’t a fucking shark.

- What training? They need to go get Daphne! Also, they handled Believix just fine. If Alfea had given them proper education, they should be able to control any transformation. Like, those should operate according to some goddamn logic.

- If Daphne hadn’t already told him, then why did she do it now? Man, he should have just made her talk before he told the Trix to leave Domino. Now that they were no longer there, Daphne didn’t have any reason to talk. She must have known that Bloom would find their parents so Tritannus lost his leverage. This is so nonsensical.

- What the hell does it mean that they have to look inside themselves? How is that gonna lead them to lake Roccaluche? The only one connected to it is Bloom because Daphne is her sister. This is ridiculous.

- How big is that lake and why does it look exactly the same way that the sea does? There is a difference between sweet water bodies and salt water bodies and the life inside them, you know, writers.

- Why would there be a protection system to guard the source of a whole ass goddamn transformation? It makes much more sense that anyone could just walk in and destroy it in 0.3 seconds.

- They just had to say that they will keep exhibiting the three virtues the Gems represented in order to get the location of the source of Sirenix? Man, really? Ugh, that is just so... ridiculously frustrating.

- For people who can lose their magic the same day, they sure don’t seem to be worried. Lounging and all.

- They know Tritannus was there. Obviously that is the explanation as to why the selkies did not find them.

- Yes, they totally look like they’ve “got this”.

- I actually liked the fact that Bloom had to give up finding out where Daphne is in order to save the lake. Seeing all the panicked animals rush around really drives home what is going on because they will all die if the lake dries completely.

- Oh, I am totally going to cry over Daphne’s anguish here. This looks so brutal. But here’s a thought for you. The whole power of Sirenix was put under a curse, right? Then why didn’t the Trix get affected by it? And if the Sirenix power is removed from Daphne, shouldn’t the curse disappear as well?

- Love how they forgot about the part where Sirenix was cursed even before Tritannus messed with the source.

- I hate the Sirenix transformation. It is the ugliest one to me and why did they have to go and give them streaks? The 3D look was bad enough already. Only the Trix’ Sirenix design is worse than this. (No, actually whatever the hell is happening to the Trix in the end of season 7 is the worst design idea they have ever had but I haven’t watched that.)

- So they didn’t need the selkies to enter the Infinite Ocean? Then how come that is what Tritannus needed? What the hell is wrong with the logistics of this whole thing?

- Where did all these minions come from? Did whatever he did to the... stone? thingy poison the nearby water and turn all creatures into his minions? Didn’t that work only on merfolk? If so, the Infinite Ocean seems overpopulated.

- They totally could have had Marion and Oritel in this but once Tritannus took Daphne into the Infinite Ocean, they would have needed to let Winx handle the rescue mission because the two of them wouldn’t be able to enter the Infinite Ocean. And boom, problem solved. They don’t have to drag Oritel and Marion through every episode while they still could have shown that they cared. Idk what was so complicated about that.

Part 2 can be found here.

[thebrokenblackman]

KRS-One - “Ah Yeah!”  Critical Analysis by Hakeem Ture

“If hip hop has the power to corrupt young minds, it also has the ability to uplift them.” - KRS-One 

The musician is a natural master of vibration and emotion. Many musicians have been able to make us dance. Many have been able to draw on relatability because nobody is the only person like them in the world. Perhaps some have even made us cry or provided soundtracks for intimate moments. Only few musicians have taken on the task of socially and historically educating their listeners through their music. 

Even fewer have been able to combine the mastery of teaching with mastery of rhythm. Those who do this become legends like; Nate King Cole, B.B. King, Nina Simone, Bob Marley, Chaka Khan and Fela Kuti’ and their influence lives throughout generations. In 1995 Krs-One released a self-titled album that came in the sunset of his reign. His career would mirror the sepia filter of the album cover. 

This album had dominant auras of militancy and rebellion that Krs-One fans had not heard since Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded. Krs-One was able to both appease his day one fans and gain the younger generation of Hip Hoppers who were listening to artists such as: Nas, Redman,Das Efx, Tupac, and A Tribe Called Quest. The message and timing of this album may have been divine. Let us look at the historical events of the year(s) Krs-One was creating this album in. In 1994, the United States congress had successfully completed the first step of becoming fascist by Voting to Censure Dr. Khalid Muhammad, National Advisor of the Nation of Islam. Bill Clinton and Joe Biden led Democrats to pass the The Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act and effectively fueled the prison industrial complex. South Africa held it first election since intergrating with the apartheid government and Invisble Man author Ralph Ellison had passed. Hip Hop was the soul vehicle of expression to protest the genocide that had been going on and KRS One was one of its leaders. The youth looked toward this leader to deliver an album reflective of their mindstate and he delivered. 

Imperative of a classic work of musical art, this album is composed of multiple great songs, but in my opinion the cornerstone song of the album is undeniably “Ah Yeah”. In this song he masterfully uses three 16 bar verses to empower and mobilize his listener much in the same way Dr. Khalid Muhammad did. This track starts with the establishment of an a capella warcry. He writes in response to western power’s having done such an incredible job destroying the rebel instinct that Afrikan people possess by publicly shaming our leaders and traditions. These lyrics are him trying to raise the psyche of a fallen warrior class and put revolt back in its holy place as opposed to the negative connotation that has been applied by the white power structure.  He essentially made a chant-like hook with an underlying message of “This is your enemy, This is how to handle him, and THIS is okay”. The aim focuses on  redirecting the accumulated anger of a traduced peoples that is often mistargeted toward self so that we may be collectively progresssive. 

He bellows:

“Ah yeah, that's whatcha say when you see a devil down

Ah yeah, that's whatcha say when you take the devil's crown

Ah yeah, stay alive all things will change around

Ah yeah, what? Ah yeah!”

Then comes the establishment of an eerie bass line. This song structure is familiar to fans of his earlier work. It was what they were longing for. For a few albums he took the perspective of being in the classroom or office as opposed to in the battlefield with his men. He had returned to fight with us like Haile Selassie. Immediately he establishes a dual level of respect. One with his men and one with his deterrent.  

“So here I go kickin' science in ninety-five

I be illin', parental discretion is advised still

Don't call me nigga, this MC goes for his

Call me God, cause that's what the black man is

Roamin' through the forest as the hardest lyrical artist

Black women you are not a bitch you're a Goddess

Let it be known, you can lean on KRS-One

Like a wall cause I'm hard, I represent God”

In the first 2 bars of the preceding excerption he lets us know he intends to drop some knowledge, but it will not be filtered for political correctness or comfortability. The following 2 bars he establishes both a tone of encounterment and identity. Then he goes on to explain from which direction he came much like Saint Maurice's appearance upon the plagued people of Europe to let them know he has navigated and he is no spook. He goes on to talk to his listener and the most important of them, the women.

In 1994, fresh off a press tour on which she gained popularity from criticizing Bill Clinton, Sister Souljah published her first book that was heralded by black scholars and youth alike entitled No Disrespect. Her Influence was cemented in the minds of black youth and played a huge role in raising generational consciousness by dealing with topics like “how the black woman is viewed by black men” and “the black woman’s role in repairing the black family structure”. She had solely been awarded leadership duties by a disregarded demographic in a scapegoated culture and was handling it with the grace of Misty Copeland.  Her and the women she raised to consciousness needed the camaraderie of Krs One. He goes on to sell to himself:

 “Wack MC's have one style: gun buck

But when you say, "Let's buck for revolution"

They shut the fuck up, can't get with it

Down to start a riot in a minute

You'll hear so many Bowe-Bowe-Bowe, you think I'm Riddick

While other MC's are talkin' bout up with hope down with dope

I'll have a devil in my infrared scope,”

In the first five bars he addresses the enemies of the oppressed people within the oppressed people. These “Wack MC’s” are the Uncle Toms’ and Judas of the rebellious, afro-centric movement that is Hip-Hop. He says they lack discipline and do not have the self awareness to rescue themselves. In comparison with himself who uses that energy toward an ultimate goal, Independence through revolution. In the succeeding excerption KRS briefly displays the cognitive processing and coping mechanism of a warrior:

“WOY

That's for calling my father a boy and, klak, klak, klak

That's for putting scars on my mother's back, BO

That's for calling my sister a ho, and for you

Buck, buck, buck  cause I don't give a motherfuck

Remember the whip, remember the chant

Remember the rope and

You black people still thinkin' about voting?

Every President we ever had lied!

You know, I'm kinda glad Nixon died.”

Throughout the preceding excerption KRS skillfully uses onomatopoeias to create a setting for his listener. There is a battle going on. Shells casings are falling to the ground and bullets are flying from high caliber weapons. He is in the thick of it and then an enemy approaches him. He musters the courage to engage with his assailant by remembering the suffrage the morals of his enemies’ elected nation-state has caused his ancestors. Then he rejoices in the death of one of their leaders, Richard Nixon.

In the second verse Krs-One addresses an age-old topic of discussion for spiritual people that was brought forth to the Afrikans of today by Noble Drew Ali, “The Prophetic Soul”. This belief dates back to ancient Buddhism in the caves of Asia taught to us by Dr. Ivan Van Sertima in his book “African Presence in Early Asia”. This belief entails that all the prophets of the world including but not limted to; Adam, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, and himself were the same soul being reborn until its mission is completed.” Krs-One puts himself and a couple others in this divine line of being. 

“This is not the first time I came to the planet

 concern every time I come, only a few could understand it

I came as Isis, my words they tried to ban it

I came as Moses, they couldn't follow my Commandments

I came as Solomon, to a people that was lost

I came as Jesus, but they nailed me to a cross

I came as Harriet Tubman, I put the truth to Sojourner

Other times, I had to come as Nat Turner

They tried to burn me, lynch me and starve me

So I had to come back as Marcus Garvey, Bob Marley

They tried to harm me, I used to be Malcolm X

Now I'm on the planet as the one called KRS

Kickin' the metaphysical, spiritual, tryin' to like

Get with you, showin' you, you are invincible

The Black Panther is the black answer for real

In my spiritual form, I turn into Bobby Seale

On the wheels of steel, my spirit flies away

And enters into Kwame Ture”

In the beginning of the third verse he briefly continues the theme of possessing The Prophetic Soul but now, he does not speak from a perspective of being the people who had the soul. He speaks from the perspective of the soul. This soul is traveling and looking for a host. In the first two bars he speaks of how he was able to travel without detection from the government’s surveillance. Then, he goes on to finally choose a host that is relevant to the demographic of people it intends to reach. This host is stylish and his image is relatable, so the people will be receptive of his message through familiarity. 

“In the streets there is no EQ, no di-do-di-do-di-do

So I grab the air and speak through the code

The devil cannot see through as I unload

Into another cerebellum

Then I can tell em, because my vibes go through denim

And leather whatever, however, I'm still rockin”

After the prophetic soul latches on to the host, KRS-One, it manifests purpose with grassroot organization and motivational speaking. Being KRS-One founded the Stop the Violence Movement in 1988 and was solely responsible for mobilizing many of the most influential Hip Hoppers against Gang Violence and Culture he had plenty of knowledge to give on the topic.

“We used to pick cotton, now we pick up cotton when we shoppin'

Have you forgotten why we buildin' in a cypher

Yo hear me kid, government is building in a pyramid

The son of God is brighter than the son of man

The spirit is, check your dollar bill G, here it is

We got no time for fancy mathematics

Your mental frequency frequently pickin' up static

Makin' you a naked body, addict and it's democratic

They press auto, and you kill it with an automatic”

Too often credit for the creation and establishment of a culture or society is given to one person as opposed to being evenly distributed amongst the support structure. How many times have you been taught the legacy of all the men that signed the declaration of independence? It is likely that you’ve only been taught about Thomos Jefferson. Just like there would be no Fidel Castro without the parallel influences of Che Guevara and Camilo Ceinfuegos there would be no Hip-Hop without KRS ONE. Perhaps without his tenacity, passion, and will it would have been infiltrated and exploited before it reached its full maturity. If that would have happened America would not have its current number one export. In his prime most consumers who listened to his message and gazed upon his image said “OH NO!”  from fear of what they could not understand. Today, we look at his legacy of art and effort and cant help ,but smile and yell “AH YEAH!”.

“If hip hop has the power to corrupt young minds, it also has the ability to uplift them.” - KRS-One 

The musician is a natural master of vibration and emotion. Many musicians have been able to make us dance. Many have been able to draw on relatability because nobody is the only person like them in the world. Perhaps some have even made us cry or provided soundtracks for intimate moments. Only few musicians have taken on the task of socially and historically educating their listeners through their music. 

Even fewer have been able to combine the mastery of teaching with mastery of rhythm. Those who do this become legends like; Nate King Cole, B.B. King, Nina Simone, Bob Marley, Chaka Khan and Fela Kuti’ and their influence lives throughout generations. In 1995 Krs-One released a self-titled album that came in the sunset of his reign. His career would mirror the sepia filter of the album cover. 

This album had dominant auras of militancy and rebellion that Krs-One fans had not heard since Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded. Krs-One was able to both appease his day one fans and gain the younger generation of Hip Hoppers who were listening to artists such as: Nas, Redman,Das Efx, Tupac, and A Tribe Called Quest. The message and timing of this album may have been divine. Let us look at the historical events of the year(s) Krs-One was creating this album in. In 1994, the United States congress had successfully completed the first step of becoming fascist by Voting to Censure Dr. Khalid Muhammad, National Advisor of the Nation of Islam. Bill Clinton and Joe Biden led Democrats to pass the The Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act and effectively fueled the prison industrial complex. South Africa held it first election since intergrating with the apartheid government and Invisble Man author Ralph Ellison had passed. Hip Hop was the soul vehicle of expression to protest the genocide that had been going on and KRS One was one of its leaders. The youth looked toward this leader to deliver an album reflective of their mindstate and he delivered. 

Imperative of a classic work of musical art, this album is composed of multiple great songs, but in my opinion the cornerstone song of the album is undeniably “Ah Yeah”. In this song he masterfully uses three 16 bar verses to empower and mobilize his listener much in the same way Dr. Khalid Muhammad did. This track starts with the establishment of an a capella warcry. He writes in response to western power’s having done such an incredible job destroying the rebel instinct that Afrikan people possess by publicly shaming our leaders and traditions. These lyrics are him trying to raise the psyche of a fallen warrior class and put revolt back in its holy place as opposed to the negative connotation that has been applied by the white power structure.  He essentially made a chant-like hook with an underlying message of “This is your enemy, This is how to handle him, and THIS is okay”. The aim focuses on  redirecting the accumulated anger of a traduced peoples that is often mistargeted toward self so that we may be collectively progresssive. 

He bellows:

“Ah yeah, that's whatcha say when you see a devil down

Ah yeah, that's whatcha say when you take the devil's crown

Ah yeah, stay alive all things will change around

Ah yeah, what? Ah yeah!”

Then comes the establishment of an eerie bass line. This song structure is familiar to fans of his earlier work. It was what they were longing for. For a few albums he took the perspective of being in the classroom or office as opposed to in the battlefield with his men. He had returned to fight with us like Haile Selassie. Immediately he establishes a dual level of respect. One with his men and one with his deterrent.  

“So here I go kickin' science in ninety-five

I be illin', parental discretion is advised still

Don't call me nigga, this MC goes for his

Call me God, cause that's what the black man is

Roamin' through the forest as the hardest lyrical artist

Black women you are not a bitch you're a Goddess

Let it be known, you can lean on KRS-One

Like a wall cause I'm hard, I represent God”

In the first 2 bars of the preceding excerption he lets us know he intends to drop some knowledge, but it will not be filtered for political correctness or comfortability. The following 2 bars he establishes both a tone of encounterment and identity. Then he goes on to explain from which direction he came much like Saint Maurice's appearance upon the plagued people of Europe to let them know he has navigated and he is no spook. He goes on to talk to his listener and the most important of them, the women.

In 1994, fresh off a press tour on which she gained popularity from criticizing Bill Clinton, Sister Souljah published her first book that was heralded by black scholars and youth alike entitled No Disrespect. Her Influence was cemented in the minds of black youth and played a huge role in raising generational consciousness by dealing with topics like “how the black woman is viewed by black men” and “the black woman’s role in repairing the black family structure”. She had solely been awarded leadership duties by a disregarded demographic in a scapegoated culture and was handling it with the grace of Misty Copeland.  Her and the women she raised to consciousness needed the camaraderie of Krs One. He goes on to sell to himself:

 “Wack MC's have one style: gun buck

But when you say, "Let's buck for revolution"

They shut the fuck up, can't get with it

Down to start a riot in a minute

You'll hear so many Bowe-Bowe-Bowe, you think I'm Riddick

While other MC's are talkin' bout up with hope down with dope

I'll have a devil in my infrared scope,”

In the first five bars he addresses the enemies of the oppressed people within the oppressed people. These “Wack MC’s” are the Uncle Toms’ and Judas of the rebellious, afro-centric movement that is Hip-Hop. He says they lack discipline and do not have the self awareness to rescue themselves. In comparison with himself who uses that energy toward an ultimate goal, Independence through revolution. In the succeeding excerption KRS briefly displays the cognitive processing and coping mechanism of a warrior:

“WOY

That's for calling my father a boy and, klak, klak, klak

That's for putting scars on my mother's back, BO

That's for calling my sister a ho, and for you

Buck, buck, buck  cause I don't give a motherfuck

Remember the whip, remember the chant

Remember the rope and

You black people still thinkin' about voting?

Every President we ever had lied!

You know, I'm kinda glad Nixon died.”

Throughout the preceding excerption KRS skillfully uses onomatopoeias to create a setting for his listener. There is a battle going on. Shells casings are falling to the ground and bullets are flying from high caliber weapons. He is in the thick of it and then an enemy approaches him. He musters the courage to engage with his assailant by remembering the suffrage the morals of his enemies’ elected nation-state has caused his ancestors. Then he rejoices in the death of one of their leaders, Richard Nixon.

In the second verse Krs-One addresses an age-old topic of discussion for spiritual people that was brought forth to the Afrikans of today by Noble Drew Ali, “The Prophetic Soul”. This belief dates back to ancient Buddhism in the caves of Asia taught to us by Dr. Ivan Van Sertima in his book “African Presence in Early Asia”. This belief entails that all the prophets of the world including but not limted to; Adam, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, and himself were the same soul being reborn until its mission is completed.” Krs-One puts himself and a couple others in this divine line of being. 

“This is not the first time I came to the planet

 concern every time I come, only a few could understand it

I came as Isis, my words they tried to ban it

I came as Moses, they couldn't follow my Commandments

I came as Solomon, to a people that was lost

I came as Jesus, but they nailed me to a cross

I came as Harriet Tubman, I put the truth to Sojourner

Other times, I had to come as Nat Turner

They tried to burn me, lynch me and starve me

So I had to come back as Marcus Garvey, Bob Marley

They tried to harm me, I used to be Malcolm X

Now I'm on the planet as the one called KRS

Kickin' the metaphysical, spiritual, tryin' to like

Get with you, showin' you, you are invincible

The Black Panther is the black answer for real

In my spiritual form, I turn into Bobby Seale

On the wheels of steel, my spirit flies away

And enters into Kwame Ture”

In the beginning of the third verse he briefly continues the theme of possessing The Prophetic Soul but now, he does not speak from a perspective of being the people who had the soul. He speaks from the perspective of the soul. This soul is traveling and looking for a host. In the first two bars he speaks of how he was able to travel without detection from the government’s surveillance. Then, he goes on to finally choose a host that is relevant to the demographic of people it intends to reach. This host is stylish and his image is relatable, so the people will be receptive of his message through familiarity. 

“In the streets there is no EQ, no di-do-di-do-di-do

So I grab the air and speak through the code

The devil cannot see through as I unload

Into another cerebellum

Then I can tell em, because my vibes go through denim

And leather whatever, however, I'm still rockin”

After the prophetic soul latches on to the host, KRS-One, it manifests purpose with grassroot organization and motivational speaking. Being KRS-One founded the Stop the Violence Movement in 1988 and was solely responsible for mobilizing many of the most influential Hip Hoppers against Gang Violence and Culture he had plenty of knowledge to give on the topic.

“We used to pick cotton, now we pick up cotton when we shoppin'

Have you forgotten why we buildin' in a cypher

Yo hear me kid, government is building in a pyramid

The son of God is brighter than the son of man

The spirit is, check your dollar bill G, here it is

We got no time for fancy mathematics

Your mental frequency frequently pickin' up static

Makin' you a naked body, addict and it's democratic

They press auto, and you kill it with an automatic”

Too often credit for the creation and establishment of a culture or society is given to one person as opposed to being evenly distributed amongst the support structure. How many times have you been taught the legacy of all the men that signed the declaration of independence? It is likely that you’ve only been taught about Thomos Jefferson. Just like there would be no Fidel Castro without the parallel influences of Che Guevara and Camilo Ceinfuegos there would be no Hip-Hop without KRS ONE. Perhaps without his tenacity, passion, and will it would have been infiltrated and exploited before it reached its full maturity. If that would have happened America would not have its current number one export. In his prime most consumers who listened to his message and gazed upon his image said “OH NO!”  from fear of what they could not understand. Today, we look at his legacy of art and effort and cant help ,but smile and yell “AH YEAH!”.

[gwoongi]

(abandoned) i don’t want it at all

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: sugar baby au, sugar-babies-scamming-the-same-daddy-au rating: mature themes words: 2.3k warnings: sugar babies a/n: i would have liked 2 finish this one and maybe i will one day but for now here is the incomplete first draft that makes me laugh still

His dorm for first year had been a prison-cell-box with a broken window and bunk beds, the stale smell of farts from his roommate who insisted on top-bunk and made his evenings and early mornings absolute hell- but hey, he’s getting a fancy degree at the end, so it’s worth it, right? Jeongguk’s not sure if it’s worth it anymore.

(1)

Jeongguk was broke.

It was his own fault - that’s the price you pay for enrolling in University, studying something he probably doesn’t actually need but loves. It’s all fine and dandy studying Music until he realises that famous musicians don’t become famous because they got a degree. Ask any musician how they made it big and they’ll reply with good luck and hard work, not some fancy degree that means nothing unless you’ve got the talent to be successful. Well shit, now it’s in perspective, Jeongguk’s spending all this money on a degree that’s probably not going to make a difference when the time comes.

Now he has a part-time job at a random pizza takeaway that makes no money because Dominoes opened up across the street a few weeks ago, and he’s barely making enough to buy him more than two packets of instant noodles at a time. His dorm for first year had been a prison-cell-box with a broken window and bunk beds, the stale smell of farts from his roommate who insisted on top-bunk and made his evenings and early mornings absolute hell- but hey, he’s getting a fancy degree at the end, so it’s worth it, right? Jeongguk’s not sure if it’s worth it anymore.

This evening, the library is fairly quiet. Across the stacks are small candles inside black lanterns, a Harry Potter-esque vibe filling the room as the clock rolls into ten. Jeongguk loves when the school year ends, because for the past week, it’s only been the sad and broke music kids doing exams, meaning the library is virtually empty now that everybody else has finished up. Jeongguk’s last exam was yesterday. Huffing out a sigh that turns one of the only other heads in the library in his direction, he stretches his arms up over his head and arches his head backwards.

“Where’re you going over summer?”

Yoongi is another sad and broke music student, a third-going-fourth year who met Jeongguk in the music society during Jeongguk’s first weekend at University. Leaning his chair back on two legs, he throws a paper ball into the air and catches it, not even looking at Jeongguk as he talks to him.

Jeongguk shrugs in reply, tapping his nails against his laptop. “Dunno. Home, I guess.”

“Any plans?” Yoongi asks. “Wanna go to Lollapalooza?”

“Can’t afford it,” Jeongguk sighs, as Yoongi forces out a, “me neither” in between a chortled laugh. “And I don’t know. Probably going to have to get another job.”

“Good,” replies Yoongi, yawning loudly. “You can’t keep working at that shithole. I’m your only friend, and even I go to Dominoes instead of where you work.” As an afterthought, he looks at Jeongguk with a small frown, “sorry.”

Shaking his head in reply, Jeongguk slumps in his chair and sighs once again. Yoongi’s just suddenly put it all into perspective for him; Yoongi’s his only friend, he works a job that barely puts a meal onto his plate, and it’s not going to get any easier. 

The ball in Yoongi’s hand begins to bounce again and Jeongguk glances over at the student librarian, who buries her head into the crook of her elbow and sleeps her way through her night-shift. It’s only Jeongguk, Yoongi and four others in the library right now; none of them are reading, none of them are doing anything particularly productive. Two students are tucked into an alcove pouring wine quite openly into small glasses with a board of chess unfolded out on the table, the others on computers, wishing the night away. Jeongguk just doesn’t want to go back to his dorm, to where his roommate and his loaded to the brim stomach of Chinese food and unhealthy diets is waiting for him.

“You planning on staying here all night again?” questions Yoongi. He probs his feet up onto the partitioner under the table, accidentally kicking Jeongguk’s ankle in the process. “Sorry,” he adds.

“Yep,” Jeongguk replies, popping the ‘p’. “I’d literally rather sleep on the boys changing room floors than go back to my dorm.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “That’s disgusting, don’t be dramatic.”

“I’m being deadass,” Jeongguk insists, his eyes blown wide. “Want to swap dorms for the night? Ten dollars and you’ll be dry heaving in the hallway before midnight.”

“I’ll pass. Either way, you know my apartment is always open for you,” Yoongi reminds him. “You’ve got a key. Come by once you’ve finished whatever it is you’re doing. My wifi’s out.”

Another sigh. Jeongguk’s not defeated his boredom yet, the twitch in his fingers to do something still there. If he goes to Yoongi’s apartment now, he’ll just annoy him with the need to do something energetic, and Jeongguk knows best that Yoongi values his quiet time on an evening.

“Okay. Well, I’ll stay here for a little bit, and come by when I’m done,” Jeongguk says, stifling a yawn that would otherwise expose the fact that he’s absolutely knackered. “I won’t make a sound.”

“You will, you always do, I just pretend not to notice because I love you.” Yoongi says I love you with a disgusted face, sticking his tongue out with a fake gag that Jeongguk knows just proves how much he cares. Yoongi’s good like that, the more subtle type of loving older brother that Jeongguk’s been deprived of all his life. “Don’t stay out too late.”

“Won’t.”

Yoongi picks himself up and irons the aches out of his shoulders. “Cool. Stay safe and smart, Guk.”

“I can’t do both,” he sighs sadly, and Yoongi collects his bag and affectionately throws the paper ball at Jeongguk’s head. It bounces off and lands near one of the bookshelves. Neither picks it up, and Yoongi leaves the library. It dawns on Jeongguk three minutes after Yoongi leaves him that he’s actually really fucking lonely. Add that to the big long list of things Jeongguk is this year: friendless, broke, sad and lonely. God, he needs a hobby.

He also needs money. Very badly. After opening his phone and banking app and realising that he’s so close to slipping into the red, Jeongguk refrains from spending what he has left on something fried and takeaway and opens Google. One click, a few types: How to make money fast. Google will know what to do.

Jeongguk scrolls. Take online surveys and get paid NOW! No. Review apps and earn money! Not enough phone memory to download an app to review it, he scrolls down. Lonely AND Horny? Get yourself a Sugar Daddy TODAY! Oh? He’s listening.

The blog that opens up as he clicks the link is somebody’s personal blog, the title in a gross and thick font that Jeongguk almost can’t read. They talk a while about why you shouldn’t become a sugar-baby, but Jeongguk remembers that one time Tana Mongeau did a storytime on how she had a Daddy and got a lot of money, and Jeongguk’s got assets. He’s smart, has abs on a good day, and his dick isn’t half bad looking. That’s what Yooa had said to him, anyway. Finally, there’s a hyperlink to Seeking Arrangements, and Jeongguk feels kind of overwhelmed.

At least once in their lives, everybody’s thought about being a Sugar Baby. Jeongguk definitely has, all the damn time when he’s sitting around at work doing nothing because they’re about as busy as one can expect for a pizza place with two stars and a rival Dominoes parallel from the front. He’s even read about experiences, where people meet their daddies or mommies on the streets or through apps- and there was even that one crazy story about somebody’s Principal becoming their sugar Daddy, or something, he can’t quite remember. Regardless, Jeongguk’s entertained this thought before.

He looks down at himself. If he really tried his best, he could be kind of good at it. Without sounding conceited, Jeongguk’s good looking. What lets him down at school is the fact that he always dresses lazily and ignores people, rejects requests to go out and then complains to Yoongi about not having friends who hang out with him. All he needs is to fix his appearance, upload his best photographs, and he could secure the bag quite easily.

Jeongguk fills in the boxes and makes an account. petkoo is what he decides to name himself, and he picks his best selfie off Instagram as an icon. He leans back, as if a look from far away will change the way it looks. It’ll do. Luckily for him, he’s into men and women, and it just so happens that American men are both the dumbest and easiest to please. Suddenly, he’s excited, his leg bouncing under the table until he hits his knee and stops. The student librarian raises her head quickly, afraid that a member of staff’s come in to supervise. They haven’t, and so she drops her head again. Ten fifty three, ish. Jeongguk blinks sleepily.

All that’s left to do is get his account verified, and life will be forever changed.

(He hopes).

(2)

Yoongi’s apartment is off campus, about fifteen minutes away if he’s walking. It’s small, but significantly bigger than Jeongguk’s dorm on campus, and decorated with whites and creams, big and open windows letting in golden light, when the time’s right. It’s the type of apartment you saw online, on Tumblr posts or in movies, looking like a perfect backdrop - sometimes, Jeongguk can’t believe that Yoongi lives here, and wakes up every morning to the view of the city below his window, power lines like train tracks connecting houses, dangling fairy-lights on the trelacing of his across-the-street-neighbour’s rooftop.

That being said, Jeongguk technically lives here, too. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s actually stepped foot in his dorm at the same time as his roommate; he only goes in there to collect things one at a time. Today, for example, he had dropped by to empty out his small and pathetic wardrobe and put it inside one suitcase, wheeling it right up to Yoongi’s front door with a bright smile that Yoongi couldn’t say no to. His couch in the living room was Jeongguk’s comfortable bed when it wasn’t cold and when it was, Yoongi would huff and offer an invite into his bed, because he loves Jeongguk like he’s his baby brother, and it would suck if he died from pneumonia, or something. He said that to Jeongguk once. Jeongguk smiled for ten minutes afterwards.

Harry Potter plays on TV, the fourth movie because it’s Jeongguk’s favourite and Yoongi’s a sick man who can’t say no. It’s around five, and Jeongguk’s literally been holed up in Yoongi’s apartment the entire day. The most sunlight that he got was when he walked out of Yoongi’s house to take the trash out, and even then, the bin was in the shadows and the sun never touched his skin once. He can see the sunlight through the window, which technically counts. Yoongi cringes and takes away a plate from the coffee table.

“You’re allowed to stay at my place, as long as you clean up after yourself,” he says with a huff. His nose upturns with a scrunch, “No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.”

“By choice!” Jeongguk adds, pulling a thread out from his sock. “They’re too much hard work.”

“You’re just fucking lazy,” Yoongi points out. He dumps the plate in the sink and comes back to Jeongguk. “You know that, don’t you?”

There’s a silence. Then a sigh, “Yeah.”

Jeongguk loves staying at Yoongi’s place, especially when Yoongi is feeling particularly soft and lets Jeongguk do whatever he wants, given he’s not going to get Yoongi a noise complaint in the morning. The movie continues to play undisturbed, the sight of Beauxbatons’ carriage swooping over towards the runway leaving Jeongguk with an open-mouthed smile on his face and Yoongi folds his arms, burying himself further into the sofa. On the coffee table, Yoongi’s laid out some snacks, both his phone and Jeongguk’s laying down flat because it’s supposed to keep Jeongguk distraction free, even though he’s the type of friend to never be on his phone around his friends unless he absolutely needs to be.

Another huff is in Yoongi’s mouth, begging to be huffed out. Over on the coffee table, Jeongguk’s phone lights up with his lock screen of Sansa Stark blurred out by a notification, the ringer on loud. Attention is pulled from Dumbledore to the light, Jeongguk’s brows lifting with interest but his eyes immediately back on the TV.

“Yoongi,” he calls out, and Yoongi glances over, “can you see who it’s from?” Could be his Mom, it could be important.

The huff is released. “Come into my house and boss me around…” Yoongi mutters under his breath and reaches for Jeongguk’s phone, pressing the home button to read the notification. He’s silent for a long moment, and Jeongguk’s so enthralled in the movie that he doesn’t notice, not until Yoongi looks at Jeongguk with a confused and funny look, his top lip curled to his nostrils as he blurts: “Why the hell are Seeking Arrangements telling you you’re profile’s ready?”

Jeongguk looks away so fast from the television that Yoongi’s almost frightened. His eyes are wide and twinkling, “They’ve finished it?”

“What the fuck.”

“Gimme!” Jeongguk splutters, his hand diving towards his phone urgently. “Bro...it’s been like, five days.”

Yoongi is bewildered. “Why do you have an account? What-why-when…?”

“I don’t know, I need money and I thought it would be funny,” Jeongguk shrugs. His thumb moves quickly across his phone screen. “I can’t believe they’re done. I’m gonna be rich, Yoongi.”

“Do you know how sketchy half the people on that site are?” Yoongi questions. “Plus they’re all old and perverted men.”

“Rich men.”

“Rich, old and perverted,” Yoongi nods. “Guk, I know I said you needed another job...but this doesn’t qualify. I’d rather you flip paper thin pizzas.”

[kashyyyyk]

i was tagged my the lovely @theleavesoflorien to answer these questions, so here goes :))

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

blue actually! but idk why

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

the country ideally, bc cities are just too noisy, too grey, too many people. but on the other hand, ppl in the country are boring af... so. guess i could live anywhere where i had some peace and quiet and nature on the one hand, and some interesting ppl on the other - one can dream ig, lol

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

any skill would be nice X’D but i guess writing, always. and not being a procrastinator. just being able to focus and actually finish/achieve smth. would be great (if that’s even a “skill”)

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

coffee sometimes (aka when it’s bad coffee lol); tea never (tho i’d put in honey sometimes)

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

gosh i have no idea. i remember liking most books by Marc De Bel and Patrick Lagrou (both Flemish writers) and then as a teenager ig it had to be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!   

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

i like both, but maybe baths, which have that additional element of “i’ve got time to relax rn” which is always great

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?

werewolf :’) or smth that lives in the ocean (not a mermaid tho, i’m not 12) like a giant turtle or smth, or some big cat (i don’t know my mythology wow), or a dragon :33333

8. Paper or electronic books?

paper! ♥ which goes against my eco principles but i just loooove books and can’t get myself to read on a screen

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

my mom jeans :’) 

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?

i don’t like it at all D: if money wasn’t a factor, i probably would’ve changed it already, sorry @ my parents but yes

11. Who is a mentor to you?

George Harrison :’)

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?

writing fantasy/scifi books or shows/movies pls and thanks ♥

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

i sleep like a log, which ig is why i wake up feeling like one XD

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person?

lol. i used to... guess deep down i still am, even tho i’ve completely embraced ace/aro life for now. would never go for any of that sappy stuff tho, but some epic kind of soulmates love, i’m one of the idiots who believes in that shit :’)

15. Which element best represents you?

water ♥ and i guess air to a certain extent

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

lmao @theleavesoflorien, Henry Cavill, HARD SAME :’))) or Dhani Harrison for that matter :3 ~the 2 Main Platonic Baes~ but in all realness, i’d just wish i had any rl friends that i vibed with on a soul level /rip

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

my brother i guess, always ♥

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

re-enacting The Lion King with my brother XD and generally just making up stories with him - @theleavesoflorien, we did the radio shows/quizzes too! brilliant XD

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

fermented shark, in Iceland. i highkey would not recommend 

20. What are you most thankful for?

still being alive i suppose :’) tho sometimes these days i wish i wasn’t. also, great music, books, tv shows, movies ♥ and whatever unspoiled nature we still have

21. Do you like spicy food?

sure! tho not like really spicy ig

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

i met Michael Palin in 2018 at a book signing ♥_♥ after a talk he did. and i said i’d liked the talk and he said thanks :’))))) also met Terry Gilliam last year and we talked for 2 secs ♥ and ig there were others but i can’t remember right now. oh yeah, talked to Finn Jones at a con one time :’)

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

lol yeah like about 5 of them XD all for different aspects of my life i suppose. i have the worst memory in the world, so i need this to literally remember things

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

pen

25. What is your star sign?

cancer sun / leo moon / scorpio rising 

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

oh my fuck who would like soggy cereal o_____O

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

idk, just generally being remembered at all would be nice. would be great to have contributed something noticeable, but having made people happy in some way at all would do ig

28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?

LMAO yes :’) i’m reading a few dozen atm, but the last one i finished was Sign of Chaos by Roger Zelazny, part of the Amber series i’ve read about 6 times now instead of reading new things

29. How do you show someone you love them?

no idea :’)) just be there for them ig. giving them some of my time must mean i love them bc i loooovvvveee my time :’)

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

not really actually. if it needs to be cold i’d rather just have it chilled than have ice in it

31. What are you afraid of?

dying without really having lived :’) /harsh truths hour

32. What is your favourite scent?

peaches, basil, privet, monoï, ....

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

gosh, depends on the situation. i guess i’d say sir or madam (without the surname tho) and i mean older as in at least 20y older

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

not working for anyone else another day in my life. except if i found something i really want to get behind and put some effort in. hopefully write for pleasure tho, which would hopefully come easier since i wouldn’t be stressed at all times. i’d like to live near the ocean and the jungle, surrounded by a only few but likeminded people ♥

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

love ♥ the ocean, tho i also scares me lol. would say a natural pool or a lake without too many weeds in it :’)

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

take it ofc

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

oh yes! i always make a wish :) and the same one each time too

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

that they’re okay, that of course growth is important, but that they’re enough as they are, and only have to change if they want it, not for anyone else. i’d try to teach them empathy and respect for all beings and the earth we live on

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

got three already, but i’m contemplating George Harrison’s squiggly sun drawing from his Here Comes the Sun manuscript, maybe on my ankle? still considering Tolkien’s dragon drawing too. an ॐ somewhere definitely, maybe combined with some lotus thing, idk yet..

40. What can you hear right now?

Pink Floyd - The Great Gig in the Sky (Live, from Pulse)

41. Where do you feel the safest?

in my flat. or in nature when there’s no one around. in fact i feel safe most places where there’s not too many people around

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

my procrastination

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

ooof, difficult choice. maybe just super far back to hunter-gatherer times tbh XD like okay, not that intellectually or spiritually developed, but still in touch with the actual earth we live on as simply another species, before assuming we were anything “more” or w/e, before any money or power or religion came into play ♥

44. What is your most used emoji?

i’m on the computer now so, hmmmm but: ok hand, and the crying emoji, and the two hearts, and ofc the “this is fine” content smiling one XD sorry idk how to describe it

45. Describe yourself using one word.

idiot

46. What do you regret the most?

not having taken my life into my own hands in my 20s... but i honestly try not to regret much anymore. i guess my 20s couldn’t have gone much different all things considered, and i did learn from them

47. Last movie you saw?

Mortal Kombat X’D

48. Last tv show you watched?

Red Dwarf ♥♥♥

49. Invent a word and its meaning

this is too difficult :’)))))

as usual i’m lazy and tag anyone who feels like doing this! ~♥

[cowboyguts-moved]

tell me about your new ocs ^^

so any and all artwork i show you is done by @shit-stains (: 

everyone listed is from a made up oregon beach town called Mystic Overhang infamous for its creepy bottomless lakes and a cliff that leans over the pacific called Mystic Overhang. the town is full of mysterious happenings and unexplained missing persons and something downright evil is going on under their noses..but more on that another time ha ha. the story takes place in 1989. and i just realized this is basically just IT but i didn’t exactly mean for that…they definitely are not plagued by a killer clown.

Church Shelton (my oc) is 17/18. His mom had him too young and didn’t want to have to raised him, frankly, so she ended up leaving him on the stairs of a synagogue. His biological family is Jewish even though Church doesn’t grow up with religion and didn’t even know he was Jewish, because Josiah (Jo), tristan’s oc, was about 2 years old when he and his mom came by and saw a baby crying on the steps and the boy wanted to keep him and name him Church because he thought it was a regular christian church and… it’s cute. And through a ton of convincing and considerations, his mom agrees to care for Church and adopt him. Its a simplistic way of putting it, but there’s a lot that goes into it. He and Jo grow up as brothers and Jo takes such good care of him (: sometimes he has to be a parent to Church even though he’s only two years older, especially when their mom gets UHHH murdered during a robbery in their own house… ……….and they come home and find her at about 12 and 10 years old and Jo makes the decision that they’re not going to tell anyone and risk him living with his father and Church being placed in foster care. so they run away and become street kids for 4 years. When they’re older, 14 and 16, they get caught for stealing when they weren’t careful enough and the social workers put them in foster care, seeing as Jo’s dad is very unfit. They stay there until Jo aged out at 18 and got guardianship of Church after getting them a place to live, that’s a long complex process as well… and was obligated to care for him and provide income and stuff and they live together, just them two in a trailer, for awhile.

Church’s whole thing is that he loves to read and write. He reads so many books and he’s not great at first and is in remedial classes, but then he advances a shit ton with how hard he tries and how much he wants his love for English to succeed. Uh he has narcolepsy!!! Meaning he has a lot of daytime sleepiness, falls asleep frequently in the day and has bad insomnia at night and this hinders him a lot. In some cases his narcolepsy comes with cataplexy, this is when he has muscle weakness/paralysis caused by strong emotion like excitement and laugher. His brother Jo helps him a lot through that. I theorize that it happened because of a natural immune issue he has, which was most prevalent when they were living on the streets. 

Church is really funny and sweet and sarcastic. He’s such a cute boy and everyone in their town LOVES him just cause he’s so charming. he gets really cynical and depressed sometimes and can be mean when he wants to be, however and it’s his biggest downfall. He’s a bit of pyro he loves to set shit on fire. Oh, and he has a southern accent (: he loves to eat too, he’s always down for snacks. He’s bisexual but he doesn’t really call it that, he doesn’t take much note of his own sexuality, he does what he does. He works at an amusement park most of the time and has to put up with Jo constantly coming to his work when he gets lonely and riding the roller coaster he’s operating. Then when he graduates he goes to University of Oregon and has a bit of a big depressive self destructive path he follows and ends up overdosing on drugs on what of his partying nights, he self harms by being uncaring and his many intrusive thoughts about his mother dying and his huge fear of not seeing the world and being too dumb and poor to get an opportunity to really live. He’s put in the hospital and goes to rehab and Jo is there with him every step of the way. He’s so sweet and caring and worries about him but Church is a little belligerent sometimes. He wants to get better and be better for everyone and himself, and he does through a long emotional school break. He doesn’t end up going to his previous college again but he transfers and gets in the Columbia in new york for his English degree (: he lives in an apartment with his boyfriend Mason. 

Church is white, 5′7 and he’s stout and chubby. He’s got green eyes, freckles, a piggy nose, big sunburnt cheeks, and auburn hair, mostly shaved into a curly mohawk. and he got a fat ass and killer thighs. 

His beautiful big dumb brother Jo Shelton (tristan’s oc) has a story that is obviously parallel to church’s, but i think it’s important to mention that he’s kinda slow, slow thinkin’ and a bit hyper…and an asshole to everyone but the ones he really loves like church, he’s as sweet as he can be with him. he loves working on cars and he has a beautiful truck that he put a lot of work into..that is until he crashed it horribly while drunk driving after he got into a fight with church when church was in the hospital recovering from his overdose. and he got mild temporary brain damage… so…and then had to spend 6 months in jail for a DUI. that really fuck him up for a good while! and that’s a huge dent in their lives.

but anyway lol… he also loves to meet chicks and do speed dating.. and he hooks up with a wide variety of girls, he’s not picky at all and doesn’t believe in types, he just loves dominant women. he does have one important stable girlfriend for awhile named Rosa that he met at his grocery store job! he spilled spaghetti sauce on her white shoes (: and they were truly in love and dated for 3 years until it became dangerous for her to be with him because one of her weird ass fuckinnnn dangerous ex boyfriends got out of prison and she didnt think he would be safe if they remained together and it’s devastating for him and hinder him for a good while. he kinda fills that void by becoming a big brother figure to church’s biological sister Jude, who is 12 and in need of good old fashion josiah guidance. jo has that natural dumb dad vibe to him. (by the way..church’s mother reenters church’s life very briefly and that’s why jude and church meet and jude eventually lives locally to the boys because she moves in with Her real dad.) Later jo works at a mechanic shop and his ultimate goal is to open his own! uh also haha important detail..jo struggles with his sexuality and on the low meets up with dudes in alleys and lets them smash cause he’s a big bottom so. and he has sorta of thing for someone he met in the mess of foster care, just one of the kids he hung out with in passing, and his names Riley and they meet up later on when they’re older and fuck around a bit.

jo is 6′3 and he has golden honey hair and blue eyes and he’s freckly and has some beauty marks on his face. he’s pretty darn hairy..and he kinda smells. he’s a real country bo. he’s super skinny and hes got huuuge hands!

here’s jo and church (:

Mason Uley (mine), Church’s boyfriend, doesn’t meet church until he’s 22 and Mason is 13, and is a rich boy who’s siblings all died in one way or another…JDBSJD he’s the only child left and he is very neglected by his parents because of their coldness and grief and little regard for caring for their last kid. They’re never home and they ignore him completely which leaves him in search for attention in all sorts of wrong ways and he acts out. He does motocross at the local track. He loves rap music and is very embarrassing about it considering he’s very white..he loves flexin’ with that name brand clothing and shoes and wears skate shirts even though he doesnt skate which is a big smelly whatever but in general he’s a big poser. but its fine because we love him and its apart of his charm. He has a slight limp because at 13 he shattered his ankle and it never healed right. He loves Church very much and they’re SUPERR gross and lovey, their dynamic is so adorable, as you can imagine his goofy ass and church’s more dry sarcasm. He wants to be an architect and goes to college for that at Columbia later. He’s smart and has a very dry kind of humor and he hates Jo until he’s forced not to because of their mutual love for Church. He’s 1000% gay. He has blond hair and he looks like a 90s heart throb and Jo affectionately calls him “faggot” more than his name.

i dont have a Current drawing of mason all i got are old ones that tristan doesnt really like l o l

Okay……….. and then there’s Lewis. he’s 18. His full name is Aloysius St. Lawrence (AL oh wish iss) (mine), and he grew up in a deeply religious cult in northern California where many Horrible things happened to him that I’ll spare the details on but he’s a very traumatized boy and i thinkg about the complexity of him trying to come to grips with it and learning how to live with the immense pain he was dealt with! so. it’s really fun.

he was born with a sorta Purpose, his dads family started this commune, and the dad wasnt at fault, he’s not malicious he’s really sweet and a bit slow and is often mistreated, he’s forced to have relations with lewis’ mom, who was sort of a nomadic runaway girl perfect for procreation after she got caught in the entanglement of this commune business in california. theyre both really young when they have lewis and his twin sister, lewis being prime because he’s the Male. lewis grew up believing all kids in the commune were his siblings and so he never realized the one girl he’d see all the time was his biological sister. so bascially they take lewis from the mom, say he’s not only her child but the communities child, just how it is with all kids, and she betrays the commune in a way i havent figured out and goes beserk because obviously everyone there is insane and shes exiled and lewis, all the while has no idea shes his mother. so great childhood… full of hard labor and sleeping in a room with rows of beds and dreaming about a woman and not knowing why, not knowing its because shes your mom (: haha

In 6th grade he’s finally allowed to go to a school with other boys because before this he was homeschooled and his world was reduced to the confinements of his commune. He goes to a spooky and prestigious boarding school in southern Oregon and wears a uniform. The place is really huge and brick and creepy but it feels like paradise with this freedom he finally gets to some extent and he’s learning how to function as a regular boy, although he finds it kind of impossible. 

CHRIS!!!!! Is his roommate at this boarding school in 6th grade. Chris is a very goofy lovesick boy who believes heavily in the energies of the earth and charging his crystals his hippie mother gave him and he paints his nails black and pushes the rules of the dress code every single day and tends to break it completely. He’s a punk who loves to piss adults off. He was forced to go there by his very strict abusive father and there he meets sweet sweet Lewis (:

Lewis has never had a friend like Chris and he doesn’t know how to successfully keep one and it’s a really stressful emotional cycle of enduring the weekends at the commune and coming back to school and to Chris amongst all the happy boys that lead mostly normal lives. Chris sort of realizes that he has feelings for boys in this time and has strange urges to hold Lewis’ hand and kiss him and stuff, but he refuses to truly acknowledge his feelings about who he is.  but he does, in fact, hold his hand and Lewis lets him and they’ll just hang out for hours in their room holding hands and talking about silly stuff. They come to be really close and mean a lot to each other, chris invite him over to his house on the weekends and lewis sneaks off with him, risking being punished because he didn’t go back with one of the Father’s or Brother’s of his commune. Chris and lewis are very adorable and they play with makeup together in chris’s room and eat snacks and explore mystic overhang and chris teaches him about the ways of modern life. in 7th grade they grow apart when they don’t share a room or anymore and Chris gets involved with different people, starts smoking weed and eventually gets with a guy in 8th grade hhhh… and Lewis focuses really hard in class and it’s sorta the end of that. 

When chris gets expelled in 8th grade they don’t see each other anymore, the only departing thing being chris’s journal that he gave to lewis before he was escorted off the premises, and in it is filled with entries about him. this journal was taken and destroyed at his commune by one of the Fathers when it was found, though :/ so yes, Lewis goes back to the commune because they plan on keeping him homeschooled for high school but there’s a group of 5 kids and 3 men from the commune that are heading to Nebraska around the time he’s 16, and they force lewis to be the 6th child that accompanies them in their trip. once there, he’s kept in a creepy abandoned house, hardly set up for living in and he’s living with these other children, like an odd family that has to function around one another, him being the oldest of “siblings”. he finds out eventually that they’re there for a weird ritual/sacrifice thing.. probably the most horror-ish horror element i developed for him thus far, its frankly insane and disturbing and theres a lot of layers and rituals they must do and humiliating tasks they must do all for a Grander godly purpose. the sole purpose of it is to reach ultimate redemption in heaven after a sinful life ahahahaa.. so basically the whole time they’re there, they’re trying to accumulate sin by being unloving, disciplinary, neglectful, …uhh…and lewis kept in a dark room, only candles and daylight light the house and they’re severely mistreated and malnourished. Lewis runs away at 18…but, through constant mistreatments of his body he ends up having gangrene in his left leg and has to have it amputated above the knee by a doctor he meets whom he has to give a Favor to as payment because he doesnt have money. and he gets a real shitty wooden prosthetic that isn’t comfortable at all and its not healing right, it’s a bit botched actually.. and he has crutches and that’s how he gets around. He goes back to Oregon to the town Mystic Overhang that Chris is from because remembers the town name vaguely, not even who said it or when he heard it, but he goes there because he doesn’t know many towns, so he decides to settle there and he makes a living prostituting for awhile at an area called Mouth’s Edge. he sees Chris again when Chris pays him for a bj l o l. and Chris recognizes him even though chris is coked out of his mind because he had a really rough night and got his shit kicked in by his dad… and Lewis almost shits himself because someone from his past is back and he’s really paranoid and weird about it cause he just blew one of his only friends he used to have. and he wants Chris to fuck off, but eventually Chris keeps coming back just to talk to him and see what he’s been up to and stuff, cause he still feels this familiar need to protect Lewis that he had back in middle school. He’s very consistent about seeing him and does every single night even when Lewis is working. lewis’ love for him comes gradually, even through chris is in love with him pretty much instantly. It takes a long time for Lewis to want to be touched and held but he lets people do it anyway, including chris, it’s an unhealthy thing he obviously needs therapy ha ha. they don’t officially date until an entire year later

lewis is very sweet boy he’s shy and he has trouble making eye contact. He’s really smart and loves to paint! That’s what he wants to do with life. He’s not gay per se, he doesn’t really feel much romantically unless someone, anyone is kind to him and patient and reeeeeeeally really consistent or else he would probably never fall in love, but any gender has the potential with him. He loves 40s-80s music so much and dances to it really dorky when he thinks no one is looking and Chris has sooooo many records. he loves to rollerskate! and he’s really good at it. he’s pretty damn masculine, more so than chris. and he’s strong (: and he wears ugly clothes that he finds in dumpsters. eventually he gets enrolled in college for art and sees a therapist he grows to love like a dad to be honest.. lewis he dyes his hair a lot (: it’s naturally golden but at first when he’s prostituting its short and purple and then grows out very long and then he cuts it a lil and dyes it pink..orange..etc etc. he’s a hard worker and he gets a job at the Junkyard where he meets his best friend Cody (: 

This is Lewis :) he’s white, 5′4 and he’s soft but strong and handsome and he’s got golden eyes and hair and he’s sweet n freckly.

Chris Russell (tristan’s) is 19… chris is greek and pakistani from his dad and white italian from his mom. he grew up an only child with them in an upper middle class environment because his dad … i don’t even know the legit title but he buys and sells properties for a fancy shmancy company. his mom is just a kindergarten teacher and that’s not a killer wage but. he’s very close to his mom he loves her to pieces, she’s a big stoner hippie (:. his dad on the other hand has always been really disciplinary and cold towards Chris, his dad is straight up abusive though, so there’s no excuses being made for him, but at first he didn’t do it just because he felt like it. he was just raised learning that it was the only effective way to discipline your kid and that it was the dynamic that Worked the best. Chris is a little problem child though, and not so much when he was a kid! he was so sweet and all he wanted to do was wear his mom’s makeup and clothes. he wore clips in his curly hair and pretty skirts and he loved music and being a mama’s boy and he loved her cooking. he loved reading and writing. but he was still abused by his dad, especially for his natural femininity. and as Chris got older he was such a rebel. he’s a mouthy, snarky, blunt little shit that never behaved or was cowered into doing things as his dad wanted. it wasn’t like he wasn’t afraid to get hit or anything but he didn’t show it and constantly provoked it. that’s in his teen years though especially

chris goes in and out of depression and mania constantly after middle school. he’s doing drugs, just weed at first but he’s always always high and he’s a big loner until he meets his Boys in 10th grade (: mikael ben and kylo. his parents divorce when he’s 15. he tries to convince himself he’s not gay and he gets with a girl but the ordeal is humiliating and she spreads the rumor that he was so bad at fingering her and touching her boobies that he must be Gay and so he retaliates by making photo copies of her nude pictures and spreading them. chris has questionable morality. you GOTTA know that about him.. he has problems and he can straight up not be a good person sometimes but overall he really is one and we be loving him or whatever. and he evens out in his 20′s and 30′s so it’s fine. HFSFSS but yeah! after awhile it’s sorta easy just to come out, and then he gets cocky and his gayness bleeds through everything he does. he starts dressing more effeminate again and he fucks around with a lotta guys and is really stupid about his recklessness. he gets into cocaine and gets so fucked up he doesn’t know who he’s banging half the time he just parties and is a big smelly butthead. and around the AIDS crisis no less… dumb ass. by some miracle he doesn’t catch anything or get anything so… this all happens, the worst of it anyway, when he’s 18 and stuff after he has this weird hook up relationship with Mikael his friend and our other OC hsdhbsd. and then he kinda just Takes himself off it after he bumps into Lewis again and goes through his withdrawals and smokes a ton of weed, i mean he’ll never quit that, its fine.

he loves to skateboard! he loves reading and writing. he aces his english classes and was in AP his whole life in that subject. he’s a big debater and critical thinker in those classes and the teachers love him and hate him for that. he writes in his journals constantly and he wants to be a writer someday.. he loves drag. he has a whole persona. her name is Crystal Balls. he’s really fuckin good at it too, he’s good at makeup and tucking and dressing up and caring for his wigs. he’s a big major faggot. he’s a top! even though everyone in the world does not think he is (: he’s a big top. and he can be masculine when he wants. he has masculine body language and a manly voice and he’s a big stoner skater but he can turn on that faggotry whenever he wants and its especially apparent in his Crystal persona. he plays piano and is very good at it (: he’s bipolar clinically but does not take meds (:  he self harms as a result of his polarizing emotions and his home life. he’s the horniest emo anyone will ever meet and legit is addicted to feel-good stuff and has a really addictive personality in general. so weed, food, sex, Lewis, etc. he’s really insecure and he thinks he is BUTT ugly but high key he’s the hottest OC either of us have like he’s just gorgeous that’s all there is to it. and he’ll go back and forth from Damn im fuckin hot to holy fuck i look like my dad i want to wear a ski mask everywhere. its mostly the latter though (: he hates his dad and hates that he looks so much like him. the only thing he likes about himself is his big dick and his legs that are straight up chick legs

here’s chris heh

Cody Glorymoon (mine), Lewis’  best friend, is 20 and she’s very pretty and she has delicate features but she’s big tomboy and works for her dad at the junkyard. she’s a ginger and she’s very tall and slim and she’s a little rough and cynical but she’s super soft and loving and smart.  and she cares for lewis so much that she’s a little in love with him at one point and it hurts her to be that way because she’s having her own sexuality and identity crisis and shes knows they can’t be together. she hates chris…because the girl chris used to date and spread her nudes was her sister and she’s extremely protective of her sister because they grew up very close and had traumatic experiences being put through frequent pageant shows and training as little girls? their mom was a piece of shit and eventually dumped them on their dad who previously was kept away from them. she also, in general, just doesn’t like chris and his personality. he’s a huge douche to her. until she softens for him in later years when she sees him a lot because he’s her best friend’s boyfriend. chris actually needs her help pretending to be his girlfriend in order to please his dad and keep him off his back so he can see lewis on the low… and she does it because she’s the only girl he knows that tolerates him enough and would do it for him and she comes over for dinner and other events hsdfjsdf its really funny watching chris pretend to like her. they grow closer this way and become real friends even though they always have this love/hate dynamic.

heres cody and cody giving lewis a smoochie 

here’s some gay and lesbian solidarity between chris and cody

Mikael Taylor (tristan’s) is 19 and one of the boys in Chris and Lewis’s friend group. He’s a foster kid who has really long hair and smokes too much weed because if he doesn’t his adhd gets the best of him. He and church have an on and off thing for quite a while until they break up and church moves away and gets with mason, although mikael is sort of crazy in love with church whether he likes to admit it or not, he’s always sorta waiting for him and mason to be Done even though it takes a long ass time, he really misses his opportunity with him the beginning. He likes to fuck and be with all kinds of different people, though, and commitment is definitely a fear of his (hence the on and off thing with church). He’s really sweet though and he loves lewis to death. Hes funny and outgoing and cool and Everyone likes him. Everyone. He’s got a cool septum piercing and one of those gum piercings right under the lip as well. He’s also huge gauged ears and he wears a beanie and hawaiian shirts with dad shorts and socks and sandals (which are like the only shoes he owns). He’s half native american and half caucasian, he sleeps a lot and he has a huge thing for milfs. (chris and ben’s moms especially)

mikael is 6′4, and pretty lean and has got some muscles. he’s got sharper features and he has green eyes and gross facial hair wispies

Benjamin Jacobs (tristan’s) is 19 and is another one of the boys from the friend group. He’s a big, heavy jock who really enjoys theatre and foootball. He’s from up north, so he has an accent thats quite strong and pretty cliche. He’s got pretty short blonde hair and freckles spread across his soft cheeks. He’s quite angry most of the time and he can be very loud, especially with chris whenever chris is being himself and annoying the shit out of him. He does have a temper but he tries his best to control it around lewis. Oh yeah and he also loves lewis a lot (: he lives in a really nice suburban neighborhood and his home is loudly occupied with his mother, dawn, who is your classic 80’s rhode island mom complete with the big poofy curls and the hoop earrings, and his two brothers and one sister. He has a man cave which is the entire home basement that he and the boys all hang out in 24/7, filled with beanbags a television, a pool table and a blow up doll named Patrisha that chris drew a penis on. Again, he hates chris. ALSO he’s in love with kylo’s sister named Leslies and he pines for her 24/7

ben is big chubby and blond, he’s 6′1 and hes so hot i think he’s so hot bro. he’s juicy he’s a thick quarterback with blue eyes

Kylo Cavillo (tristan’s) is the last member of the boys group. Kylo is a sweet Hispanic boy with vitiligo who has a hard time expressing himself. He’s very excitable and he falls in love with people very easily… he has this weird crush/obsession with chris that’s not talked about within the group much but it can be more than obvious at times even though he denies that he’s gay. He and lewis get along very well and he loves him a lot, they both were deprived of a lot of the modern things like certain tv shows and games and phrases and ways of doing things so they’re able to bond on that fact. Kylo lives at home with his mother and father, who is a big part of the Mystic Overhang Tiburón’s (a gang) and he owns their family restaurant called El Baño HHHDSF which kylo comes to take over himself when he’s older. He has three sisters and he is the youngest of all siblings, so he grew up with girls his entire life and definitely has some femininity to him. He’s very sweet and innocent, though, and means well with all his endeavors. He likes to grease his jet black hair back and wear gold chains with his baseball jerseys and blue jeans. OH he also has epileptic seizures and it’s very scary but mikael knows well how to deal and handle them when they happen because he has experience both with his foster siblings and kylo himself because mikael knew him the longest!

and here’s mister kylo, he is very small about 5′1 and skinny, he has big pretty expressive brown eyes and lil cute mustache and unibrow (:

[miskatonic-memes]

My final thoughts on Beyond Re-Animator

I had no expectations when I sat down to watch this movie. None. Literally zero. And somehow, I was still let down.

One of the things I noticed very early on while watching this movie was the constant perturbed, unhappy look on Herbert's face. At first I thought, well of course he's unhappy, he's in prison. But soon I realized that it was really Jeffrey not even giving enough fucks to try and hide the fact that he really just wants to leave. Which is completely understandable, of course. Yet somehow, despite his complete lack of fucks to give, he still gives more than the rest of the cast combined and turns out the best performance of the movie.

However, I think it says a little bit more about the movie itself. Jeffrey can be in the schlockiest movies out there, yet he always brings his A-game and, if he doesn't like what he's doing, it surely doesn't show. So for it to be this obvious that he really does not care is quite surprising and, in my opinion, very indicative of the film's overall quality.

I'd try to discuss the story of the film, but I am really not sure if there actually is a story. This movie is just a series of events occurring. It starts out with one of Herbert's reanimated creations breaking into a house and killing this kid's older sister by...lightly tapping her head against the wall a few times. The cops show up, and Herbert is placed under arrest. As he's sitting in the police car though, he gives the kid a syringe of reagent? For? Some? Reason???

We flash forward to 14 years later. For some reason, Herb looks 100% the same, but the kid from the beginning of the movie is all grown up. His name is Howard Phillips (and the award for laziest Lovecraft reference goes to Beyond Re-Animator!), and he's come to work as the new prison doctor.

Almost immediately, one of the prisoners suffers a heart attack and dies due to the prison's inadequate medical facilities. Herbert was just standing around the medical wing during this time, as prisoners are apparently allowed to do. Once they are alone, Howard reveals to Herbert that he is the kid from the beginning of the movie and shows him the syringe of reagent to prove it. Herbert is like, "well fuck it, it's probably too old to use but let's inject it into the dead guy anyway". Sure enough, he comes back to life and attacks them. Herbert fights the re-animated prisoner with a trash can, until guards show back up and take the prisoner away. Herbert explains it all as a "reaction to the medication", which the prison staff believe with zero questions asked for some reason.

Howard tells Herbert he wants to work with him, and Herbert is like "sure whatever I guess lol". They are able to set up shop in a storage closet, where Herbert explains his new idea to restore intelligence in re-animated subjects. I really don't understand it, but basically, he's transferring souls around or something? I don't know. It doesn't matter. But they steal some dude's rat, kill it, and Herbert uses it to demonstrate his new perfected reanimation process.

Meanwhile, Howard's got a girlfriend. I don't remember or care enough to figure out her name. She's basically a carbon copy of Francesca from the second movie, so I'll just call her that. This is the part where Howard gives *big* incest vibes, telling Francesca she looks like his dead sister and then proceeding to have sex with her a few minutes later.

Francesca is a journalist, and she's investigating the Miskatonic Massacre. Thought that was going to go anywhere? You thought wrong.

Mentioning the Miskatonic Massacre, I'd just like to talk about this movie's complete disregard for any established Canon these movies ever had. Sure, it's kind of a running thing that Herbert dies and it's not acknowledged, but this movie takes it up to the next level. Not only is Herbert brought back to life again, but the entirety of the first two movies? Gone. The Miskatonic Massacre, from the end of the first movie, is barely talked about. Herbert never mentions anyone or anything from the first 2 movies, so it's safe to say they didn't happen.

Francesca talks to the creepy warden, who is trying really hard to be Dr. Hill. I've been actively trying to block out the memory of this film, so I don't remember much more other than that they both end up dead. Howard and Herbert re-animate them both and test the new reanimation process. They both yeet away to do what they do.

Anyway, things are going downhill at the prison. Somehow, a riot starts, and shit just gets crazy. Francesca is running around, horny prisoners are chasing her. The warden is fucking around doing whatever he does. Herbert just kind of goes around. The dude that he stole the rat from was somehow cut in half and is still chasing Herbert around despite literally being cut in half. At one point he's swinging around from the ceiling and it's admittedly a pretty cool effect. Another prisoner gets their hands on a syringe of reagent, and shoots it up until he literally fucking explodes.

Who really cares at this point? Herbert kills the warden, rolls up to the front door of the prison and says he's Howard Phillips. The guards don't question it and he leaves, unharmed. End of movie.

Did that make much sense to you? No? Me neither. This movie was just so, so weird. I can't begin to comprehend the half of it after the first viewing, and I do not intend for there to be a second.

I don't want to talk about the music video. If you've seen it, you understand. If you haven't, be thankful.

If you were considering watching Beyond Re-Animator? Just skip it. If you already watched it, I'm sorry for the suffering you endured. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rewatch the first two so I can cleanse my soul.

[crafiet]

1-50 OC questionnaire !!

ill use ary

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?anyone else paranoid about people stealing their unpublished work or ideas or name bc me. her name is ary and i found it from a generator [lmao so original] and i thought it was cute. her last name is like pretty standard for fantasy and it inspired me to have everyone elses last names in a similar vibe2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?WELL lmao shes had a lot. prisoner #22876, the wraith, princess ary. ive scrapped all except the prisoner one and u can guess how she got it3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? she was raised among royals and nobles so she has a lot of good memories with her parents and other kids her age running around doing dumb shit. most of her bad memories happen once she becomes a teenager4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? she has an overwhelming love for her parents, she idolizes them heavily and is grateful for how much they taught her. a good memory is probably them teaching her how to use magic for the first time and she being unable to control it and almost burning her eyebrows off lmao5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?no siblings6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?tbh i havent thought much about their education system as young kids, since its not really relevant and i dont tend to worldbuild stuff that never shows up. however she did attend an academy specifically for her magic caste and she had a fun time up until some shit went down and she deserted. shes pretty competitive and liked versing her friends7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? she was one of those weird kids who preferred hanging out with her parents over everybody else. so she had one good friend in the academy whos still her friend today, but otherwise she would race home and annoy her mum lol8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? no pets. she has a soft spot for horses though, because she has had so many in her “career”9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? horses like her, i guess they can sense shes good with them. at one point in the novel she sees some jackals and is afraid of them so shes probably not a dog person10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?she doesnt have anything against kids, but shes not very good with them, shes never been one for baby talk or dumbing herself down. in one draft she takes care of some adolescents and lets cyri take over bc he loves kids lol11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?nahh12. What is their favourite food? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh13. What is their least favourite food?uhHHHHHH14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?man idk, its not like my characters arent well rounded realistic people but im not gonna know her favourite fucking colour bc it doesnt matter in the story lmao15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?i would say shes ok, she doesnt burn anything but shes not a gourmet chef [despite having lessons as a child]16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? ohh i used to have an answer for this but she probably doesnt now just bc shes pretty nomadic and usually only has the clothes on her back lmao17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?cameras dont exist in her world my dudee. but if she lived in modern day which ive thought of, shed be the type to take a bunch of pics of her friends and stuff she likes bc she likes having the memory in a solid form, her actual memory is shit lol18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything elsehmm i suppose shed be a horror fan, and shed love making fun of stupid characters19. What’s their least favourite genres?man idk. romance? shes kinda #2edgy4me20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?hmm i think shes more a soft music fan, just something idly playing in the background. ex. a bard playing something for the crowd while she kicks back w friends21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?she has a short temper. shes easily triggered with any emotion so shes quick to argue or whatever22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?id like to think shes witty, and she always says stuff to peoples faces bc a bitch has rabies and wants to fight apparently23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?bad memory, shes gone through physical torture and isolation [wew] so. shes better at names, growing up with royals she got to learn a bunch of family names etc24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?a light sleeper. crazy light. and she can sleep anywhere, so she has no problems sleeping on the ground unlike others25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?she pretends to be stoic but when u get to know her her humour’s pretty lame, shell laugh at anything if just to make u feel better26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? she tends to hide them under an indifferent mask27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?despite being able to hide her emotions, she does succumb to fear a lot and cries openly, but will continue to do whatever shes doing through tears so shes scary in that regard28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?abandonment is a huge one. shes not a fan of predatory animals. shes brave though, and will do whatevers necessary, kinda like unwilling exposure therapy lol29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? she doesnt like exploiting people so shell never use someones fear against them. for friends, shell protect them and warn them if something like that is gonna happen30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?lmao she walks or goes horse riding everywhere and is severely malnourished31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?i just wrote a scene like this!! shes louder in general, laughs more. her guard comes down more and more with every drink. she can hold her liquor pretty well but when shes blacked out shes pretty much useless32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?she prefers comfort and mobility over everything else. she tends to dress pretty masculine, and never does anything with her hair. does she know what a brush is?33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?...................ask her lol idk. probably just basic comfy ones34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?she is 5′9. when shes healthy, she has a willowy figure but more on the boxy side than curvy. she doesnt really attribute much to her body [imagine living life without dysmorphia mfg]35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? i dont she counts anything as a ‘guilty’ pleasure. she just enjoys what she enjoys, fuck whatever people think36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?she loves fishing! she used to do it a lot with her dad. i dont think shes a particularly good singer37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?yeah she likes reading. she reads pretty fast and prefers nonfiction. she thinks poetry can get too pretentious lmao38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?#deep but i think she admires kindness and care in others. she wishes she was a better person at times and wants to be able to express how much people meant to her39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? lmao letters are the only thing in her world. if she lived w us shed probably be all about texting 600 in a row and then calling when u dont reply “what do u mean you cant answer. its called INSTANT messaging for a reason!!”40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?she stays awake through sheer willpower shes a beast41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?shes bi/pan. not really a thing about labels in her world. she loves long hair and soft personalities42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?plot spoilers!!43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?shes not religious. there is a heavy theme of religion in the novel [which i need to write better in the second draft] but she was kinda skeptical as a child and probably lost faith entirely after she went through some harrowing stuff 44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? winter. she prefers the cold and hates heat45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? i think people see her as scarier than she is. shes a formidable opponent and does not give a fuck what you say, but her reputation precedes her a little bit, a lot of things she did out of fear or force are seen as ‘badass’ and ‘brave’46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?shes a compulsive liar, and a good one at that. so she tends to show herself differently to almost everyone she meets, but usually its a false potrayal47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?ugh she haaaaaates formal stuff and parties. she grew up royal and had to suffer through many a dinner and gathering. at this point in her life youd never get her in a dress that impeded her movement. shes ok with dresses but really big poofy ones she refuses to wear48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? in our world shed be one for a chill house party. show up with a case of beer, sit outside by the barbie, listen to music and talk shit. shes not good at organising so she doesnt tend to host, and if she were dragged by a friend itd probably be to a formal event or with people she didnt know so shed just sulk in the corner49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?she abandoned her material possessions before the story a. bc she was forced and b. they bring back way too many painful memories50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? food, change of clothes, weapons. thats about it. she tries not to be super nasty and find an inn to shower and stuff but shes also poor af

[flappy-spookster]

The Bizarre Road Trip Of A Missing Family by @icantwritegood​ (ao3) - (68,014 words) “A hunt for a missing family + one determined detective + one ex-conman + past beef = one hell of a road trip.”

This is one of the best fics I have ever read and if you haven’t read it yet, please do. Everything by this author is seriously amazing but this fic is one of my all time favorites (from any fandom) and I cannot express how good it is. There are so many amazing characters, scenarios, plot twists, and details that all come together to make a compelling story. There is a second part already out and completed (i’ve already started it, it’s amazing as well) and I can’t wait to see where this goes. All of that being said, I am so enamored with this fic that I made a playlist that I will explain further under the cut. If you haven’t read the fic, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER BECAUSE EVERYTHING FROM HERE ON OUT CONTAINS EXPLICIT SPOILERS.

Music is something that’s very important to me and helps me to better put my ideas together, and this fic really inspired me to try to put together something that represents this fic. In this post I’m going to explain why I chose each song and how it fits into the plot. I love symbolism, so I’m super excited to share everything that I put into this. I would recommend listening to each song as you read the analysis to get the Vibe. I’ve never explained my thoughts like this, so hopefully it goes well. 

1. “Gossip” by Sleeping With Sirens

I chose this song for the beginning of the fic because it captures a lot of the tension and chaos that enters when Shane comes back into the picture for the case, but also has some underlying themes that continue throughout the whole thing. 

“I wanna live fast, I wanna die free My blood is pumping, why can't you feel my heartbeat?“

This lyric really captures the chaotic energy that Shane brings into this whole situation right off the bat, especially “I wanna die free” because in the end I think that he’s just the type of person who needs to be in charge of a situation and needs to get free.

“To play the game, honey, you have got to roll the dice I could be bad luck, you might be crazy Yeah, I've got 9 lives, you only have 3 You're like my technique, I'm on a winning streak So watch that pretty mouth before you go and try to speak”

Once again, these lines have big Shane energy. It shows his need to be in charge of the situation, how he wants to control Ryan, and honestly just his outlook on the situation. It shows a little of how he has this sort of superiority over Ryan (real or not) and how he is convinced that he will be able to rule the situation. Also shows how Shane “taunts” Ryan.

2. “Chasing Rainbows” by Bring Me The Horizon

I mainly chose this song because it captures the near hysterical “hate” and competition between Ryan and shane at the beginning. It fits especially well with the whole finding a hotel situation as well as what occurs over the next few days (I think days, it may have just been one, time is hard). 

“Are we just dreaming in the city that never sleeps? 'Cause I can't be seeing what my eyes tell me Am I just dreaming? This can't be in my veins Everything I ever knew will never be the same”

These lines capture both of their initial reactions to the whole, “wtf they’re actually super hot what” moments they have. 

“Yeah, I feel it in my blood I can't fight this anymore I've given up”

I would count this as the moment where Ryan gives up on everything and just walks out the door only to have Shane pull him back in. It covers the defeat (and passion) they both feel in that moment.

3. “Feel Something” By Jaymes Young

Okay so this is one of my favorite artists and I struggled a lot to decide which song of his to use for this. If you want to get some really good kinda chill vibes but with a lot of darker undertones, this is your guy. I chose this song for their night in the hotel because everything about it just fits. I would highly recommend looking through all of the lyrics if you’re interested because they could all apply.

“Touch me someone I'm too young to feel so Numb, numb, numb, numb You could be the one to Make me feel something, something (2x) Show me that you're human, ohh”

I think this is fairly self explanatory, they both just really need to get it out of their systems. It also works because Shane has just gotten out of prison (and I am by no means saying that he wasn’t doing the same thing to people in there as he was outside) and is just now seeing Ryan in this new light and they both really need to work through this. 

“I never thought I'd miss the bittersweet I gave those years away”

This could refer not only to the 3 years Ryan spent trying to get Shane but also to the time Shane spent working against Ryan. It also pulls in the way they both have this weird sort of nostalgia for the chase.

4. “Ignorance” by Paramore 

This entire album (brand new eyes) captures a lot of the intensity and conflicting emotions that come with this fic and i would have used everything on here if I could. I chose this song because it captures of lot of the anger that they both feel.

“If I'm a bad person, you don't like me Well, I guess I'll make my own way It's a circle, a mean cycle”

Throughout the whole fic Shane constantly brings up the whole “was anything I really did that terrible thing and this just gets that. It also brings in how he’s kind of just using this to get out. 

“What's my offense this time?“

Pretty straightforward, but I mean the literal crimes he was charged with and how he’s constantly taunting Ryan. 

“I guess I'll go I'd best be on my way out“

This brings in how he’s literally leaving and that whole situation.

5. “Mama” by My Chemical Romance

If you don’t follow my main blog or haven’t guessed it yet, I’m a big fan of that emo shit and love those bands and nobody does it better than My Chemical Romance. This song has good vibes, good lyrics, good style, all of it, for this fic. It captures the feelings of betrayal but also just flat out chaos surrounding Shane leaving and abandoning Ryan in the middle of the road.

“Mama, we all go to hell”

One of the recurring lines throughout the song, this song really just captures the absolute insanity in all the shit going down. It also ties into Shane’s attitude to the whole situation.

“Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry Mama, we're all gonna die“

Hints at the underlying feelings that still remain despite everything that’s going on.

6. “Miss Jackson” by Panic! at the Disco

This song just gives off some vibes that I feel with the whole fallout. 

“You've got them wrapped around your finger Watch them fall down”

This brings in the other characters/Shane’s “friends” from before prison and how Ryan plans to take them out before Shane can get to them.

“Found another victim But no one's going to find Miss Jackson”

Refers to how Shane has taken advantage of so many people, including Ricky (and Ryan, but not quite the same, you know), but nobody has ever really made him feel the effects of that (yet). 

7. “Novocaine” by Fall Out Boy 

This whole song has a lot of the same intensity/energy/passion as the fic and that’s really why I chose it to put in here, but there’s also song good lyrics.

“I’m just a problem that doesn't want to be solved“

This is literally just Shane throughout the entire fic, but after Shane leaving him Ryan really wants to make him pay. 

“So don’t stop, don't stop till your heart goes numb Now I’m just numb I don’t feel a thing for you”

How Ryan is repressing those feelings and just really wants to catch Shane and redeem himself but also just wants him to be held responsible. 

8. “God Damn Liar” by Get Scared

This song is pretty loaded and there’s a lot to look at here. Overall, the passion and anger in here pretty much sums up there entire relationship tbh. 

“You'll never take me alive Cause god knows you've tried I once was blind but now I see the light Maybe I should cut my wrists You know I've never been fucked like this You've ripped my heart apart You know who you are”

This is a pretty long chunk, but I think the whole thing really just sums up their whole situation. They’re both wrestling with their feelings, and both really caught off guard by how much they enjoy everything that’s going on. It also is there for the turning point where Ryan and Shane are on the phone (all of the content in this fits for that part) only for Ryan to reveal that his team is almost to Shane’s location and the betrayal he felt. 

“You're a god damn liar I don't want to care Like I want to care“

This sums up how they’re both caught between overwhelming hate and some much softer emotions here. But throughout it all Ryan still really fucking hates Shane. 

9. “Careful” by Paramore 

This song has so much in it that I like in relation. Overall, it captures a lot of the feelings but also the situation. One of my favorites for this in the end. After putting together a rough draft of everything I wanted in here I realized that I had more Paramore songs (all from the same album) than I really wanted but they all just work so well. 

“A twisted up frown Disguised as a smile, well You would have never known I had it all But not what I wanted“

Works both ways, but I see this lyric more in relation to Shane and how he had been free but now has realized that maybe he’s in a little deeper than he thought. It also works really well for Ryan as he realizes that even though he’d worked so hard to put Shane in jail, maybe he’d be much happier with him

“The truth never set me free So, I did it myself“

Shane literally set himself free, it’s pretty straightforward. Also works with the whole “say you thought my sentence was unfair” debacle. 

10. “The Last One” by Black Veil Brides 

This song fits a lot for the whole competition to see who will apologize first. Honestly, this song is pretty self explanatory as well. 

“All the love all the hate, feel like one in the same“ 

I think this is pretty much their entire relationship honestly, but could also be used as a reference to the time before this case. 

“I swear this time is gonna be the last one Gonna be the last one, oh woah ho“

Refers to how they’re both so sure that they can just get out of this if they just do it one more time. Captures a lot of the tension between the two of them. 

11. “It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Deathwish” by My Chemical Romance 

Things are heating up with Ricky and Shit Is Going Down. Full of anger and emotions, I’m not sure this is the best song for this part but if you want to get that intense anger, sadness, and passion just go listen to the whole three cheers for sweet revenge album. 

“This hole you put me in wasn't deep enough And I'm climbing out, right now You're running out of places to hide from me“

A little reference to how Shane used Ricky and the anger and betrayal Ricky still harbours over their whole situation and how he wants Shane to pay for that.

“When you go Just know that I will remember you“

A little reference to those good ol’ feelings hanging in there. With what comes next, these words fit. However, it also brings in the way Ricky felt after he realized that Shane was already gone for Ryan. 

12. “The Two Tongues (Screaming Salvation)” by As It Is 

I agonized over what song to put here, and in the end settled on this one, but there’s any number that could go here and I’m still not sure if this one is perfect. Capturing the sheer pain Shane felt over leaving Ryan there is not easy and I’m not sure if this song does it justice, but at least a few lyrics do.

“Until the very end us dying hand-in-hand Death is whispering his answers to my fears But with consequence I'd have to leave you here”

Captures how conflicted Shane is over what to do. He thought that maybe, just maybe, him and Ryan would be able to work things out somehow but now he’s forced to either leave him behind or face the consequences. 

“When I think of him there's comfort in the cold He gives me solace when I offer him control Her voice so beautiful will find me and explain That life is agony but worth it all the same“

Oh boy those soft feelings are back and Shane is suddenly torn between everything he’s worked for and the police officer who’s been trying to throw him in jail. A little reference for his need to control the situations, but also how he wants a little more than he’s been able to fully except in the realm of feelings. Also the fact that Ryan is literally in agony and Shane is kind of struggling here with dealing with that but he has to go to live. 

“I'm not sure I'm right But I'm not sure I'm wrong I’m just desperate to belong“

Everything just got way harder when feelings got involved and Shane is having a Very Bad Time of it.

13. “The Only Exception” by Paramore 

It’s sad boy hours over here for both of them. When Shane left, things kind of went to hell emotion wise. This whole song is a great one if you want to just cry over all of the lost potential and romance because boy is it Rough when you start applying the lyrics.

“And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist But, darling You are the only exception”

Things are Not Going Well and Shane cannot deal, but Ryan can’t deal either. This song is for both of them. For Shane, that breakdown on the plane is when most of this comes into play. For Ryan, things come later. 

“Maybe I know, somewhere Deep in my soul, that love never lasts”

A reference to all of the brief “relationships” Shane has had in the past leading up to him thinking that maybe this was just how things were going to be.

“And up until now, I had sworn to myself That I'm content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk“

This one’s for Shane because he’s put himself in a position where he thought that things were just going to be what they were but now that he’s finally found someone he really fucking likes he’s a cop and everything is very complicated and suddenly the risk seems so much more worth it but it’s too late.

“I've got a tight grip on reality But I can't, let go of what's in front of me here“

Another thing that’s mostly for Shane. He has to let go of Ryan and it’s fucking tearing him apart.

this is so long i am so sorry I hope this shows what I was going for when I made the playlist. I’m not always the best with putting my thoughts into words, but I hope you guys can at least see what I was going for. 

also, some songs that don’t quite fit into the playlist but i associate with the fic:

“Dark On Me” by Starset

“Props and Mayhem” by Pierce the Veil

“The Reaper” by As It Is 

“Hourglass” by Motionless In White

“Fragments” by Jaymes Young

“Tied Down” by Jaymes Young

[mattyslittleworld]

Snowbirds & Townies

1:42 am / Tick Tock Diner 34th & 8th Ave New York City. I don’t know what keeps bringing me back here. I was in Hoboken and grabbed my skateboard and hopped the path into the 9th street station in Manhattan. As soon as I got above ground it was snowing. Blizzard shit. I skated in the snow over to Union Square to see the punks but it was ghost. So from there I got lost in my headphones and skated all the way up 20 streets to 34th. The most free I’ve felt in awhile. I want to be so far from music. So far from anything and anybody I’ve ever known. It felt like I was a different person. Music isolates me, especially now, and it leaves me depressed and alone. During these dark lows I would stay at Bepa’s and talk to him in the kitchen over coffee and then hop the train to the ferry - into manhattan and get lost in a fake identity. Be whoever I want. Start over just for a little. But here I am, again. At the same diner that I lived above before I started touring heavy as a kid. Right before I took my first swing. The same closet sized room I’d leave late night and meet all my friends and just run wild in the city spray painting, skating, and terrorizing. But secretly deep down, hurting. Wanting something more. Edge of offing myself. Wanting companionship. Wanting love. Wanting to get the fuck out. Wanting everything I have now - and will have. I’m back here only difference is I worked with Cage. I sang for Shai Hulud, I’ve gained the respect and shared the stage with everyone I looked up to, I toured 14 countries, I worked with every top respectable rapper from the east coast, I’ve sold out shows, I released the album I wrote here, I did a song and video with Danny Clinch, I did a song with Jesse Malin, I played with HR from Bad Brains, ive played a sold out show at The Stone Pony (without an album), ive played a sold out show at The Bowery Ballroom, ive sang Clash songs with Brian Fallon and Craig from The Hold Steady  - I’ve done everything I ever wanted to do sitting in that room. I fell in love then out of love then back in love with my high school crush. I’ve been heart broken. Shooting the music video with Danny Clinch was intense for me. He’s become my bro and I’m mad grateful for his friendship, but damn was that wild. I was on a 3 day run. I hung out with a beautiful lady and passed out in my jeans after she stuffed my face with orange soda and candy and made me watch Ryan Gosling fuck a doll. I stayed up till like 5 am. Woke up in my clothes at like 7 am two hours later. Had the video shoot at noon and I was mad far from my house. Woke up shot up north with my Dunkin and picked up Rob. SOOOOO TIRED and sick from the soda and candy. Changed real quick and went to the studio where we shot the video. We set up the scene for 2 hours and got angles and then Danny got there and I’m tipping over tired and flustered from this pretty girl. We shot for a half hour then took a break and I was nodding off on the floor during the break. Came back and killed off the video by a piano. After that me and Rob were mind blown over this goal being accomplished. Gratitude isn’t even the word. Next day I get hit by Tsu Surf with a time and place for a session last minute so me and rob drop our shit and shoot over and bang out this hit song that’s got a summer vibe that I made off the influence of this pretty girl. He killed it. I’m an actual fan of him so it was mad cool we could get in the room together and knock this out. That was the first time ive ever collabed in a “Industry” setting where its all bout business - very corporate. I had to adjust to that environment and put a suit on. Times like those make you realize your love for music, your passion, and your “art” simply just don't matter. These managers and shit just don't give a fuck about your grandpa dying and the song you made out of it, or the girl you love and the song you made out of it - they're like yeah fuck yourself lets get money - and you have to jump in or jump out. I jumped in and learned my place. It’s wild to think of what he’s been through over the past few years. Getting out of prison for attempted murder then getting lit up 5 times, surviving, and then while you’re healing you make a tape and it goes up the charts to number 2 in a day, unsigned. Mad funny seeing local level bands desperate to get signed - they don't even know what that means now. My pleasure to work my man, I salute you with honor and respect. After that session I went home and took a week off, after non stop grinding for the past 2 years. The Danny Clinch video shoot right into the Tsu Surf session killed me off. In Surfs studio I couldn’t even keep my head up. I’m so burnt out. What am I searching for here at this diner? What is my soul lacking? What is my heart lacking? I spend many nights here alone, staring out this window drinking coffee. Missing Bepa. Missing people. Missing a certain time of my life when everything was free. But not in a I need to get a life and move on kind of way. It’s not pathetic. I have moved on. I did get a life. I did pretty damn good on my own. I got it from the mud. So why look back? It’s hard for me to mix my social personal life with people I know from music. They don’t know the memories I have, they don’t give a shit. They don’t know anything about me. They don’t want to find that liberating freedom that I am searching for when I come to this diner - that I had when I lived here. I still don't want to get drunk or high. I don't want to watch you get drunk. You could be sober and grinding with a clear head. I want to spend time with people like that. Gorilla promotion. Animalistic work ethic. The snow is coming down fierce and I gotta skate back to the path to go back to Hoboken, then drive all the way home. I won’t be home for awhile. Hopefully till the sun comes up. I want to be lost. I want to be gone. I want to be bliss. I want to walk into this pharmacy across the street again and get cherry coke 12ozs and just sit on my bed and watch blacklisted videos on YouTube. I want to go to pen station and grab a soda and a magazine and take the LIRR to a hardcore show and not get home till the next morning. Strung out after a night of fucking mayhem and laughing. Love, friends, and just fucking beauty. We can still be beautiful. After the money - you can still be whoever the fuck you want. Let’s be beautiful and reckless and never sleep. I love my life. I hate my life. I’m happy. I’m depressed. I want to live. I want to die. I am alive. I am dead. Now on the train back home, braved the blizzard. I noticed a void in how music has been touching me lately. Anything hip hop related seemed stale. Any Americana or folk seemed dead and expired. Rock n roll boring. Even heavy hardcore was horrible. I ended up in a wormhole of bands like Thursday and From Autumn To Ashes. Poison The Well, even weirdo shit like It Dies Today. Folly really hit me hard. I have specific memories to these records and they’re so beautiful and god damn I miss these people. Being in middle school and debating the differences between FATA and PTW. As I’m typing this I just got noticed on the path train for music and they complemented my shattered realm hoodie and I showed him I was listening to from first to last and he died laughing. He said he heard my career was “bumping” and I’m sitting here soaking wet freezing and hungry on a train in all black curled up in a ball around my skateboard. Emily by FFTL is the best song ever written. Even better than Bob Dylan. Fight me. 

[cuddlefish85]

Sins Of The Father Pt 5

Summary: Moving on from the death of your last living relative, you are now living just out side the law. But you end up on the radar of two Russian assassins.

 Warning: Mention of kidnapping, violence, implied suicide, swearing    

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The wise men will bow down before the throne

Several years later

New York

The tapping of finger nails against a glass was starting to grate on your nerves not to mention the stench of the man breathing down your neck. It was bad enough that you were forced to sit in the seedy club but the very fact that you had to touch anything was made everything ten times worse.

From the corner of your eyes you watched as the greasy, lanky and dirty man beside you watched your laptop screen as a disc spun through many different shades of red. You tried to ignore him and instead listen to the beat that was playing in the main portion of the club. You had entered a little over two hours ago and before you could burn your eyes with the images of half naked girls you were manhandled into a room that you really hoped had been washed since the club opened.

Seeing a stain you guessed it hadn't.

Days like this made you yearned for Heartbridge; days where you forced yourself to stay away from the memories of running around the locked up mansion; countless hours training and laughing and feeling loved.

The Coven had kept you with them for a month before they were happy that you were masked enough that even a true Reaper would have trouble looking for you. In that time you had spent your days training and learning. You spent your nights mourning you grandfather and focused on keeping Reaper in her prison cell within your mind.

One of the Coven Sisters had returned to mansion with you and informed you that Peggy had taken care of your grandfather's body and buried him with in the grounds. You had thanked her silently for that before collecting all that you would need before locking the mansion up and safeguarding it with the Coven. You didn't know when you would return or even if you would but it made it that little more easier for you to walk away knowing that it was there.

Three years had you travelling around England and Europe; searching and learning all you could. You would indulge in your love for the stars as well as your thirst for magic. You could not wield with any confidence The Coven had done but you knew enough to charge your ring and other small tricks.

And from there you went to America to learn more and you were not disappointed.

You had seen the beauty this new world had to offer and most days that help starve off both Reaper and the dark thoughts that often swirled around your mind. It wasn't until you found your self in the bathroom, red staining the white sink and the razor still between your bloody fingers, that you knew you needed something more then just learning and running.

She saved you but it wasn't from yourself and that was when you used her.

You became Reaper the person they came to if they needed something ripped apart, displayed or stolen. You were a genius when it came to working with computer systems, easily being able to get your self a normal job but you weren't normal so it never appealed to you. It was in the darker side of America that you found your home.

If you couldn't outrun the monsters you thought it better to live among them.

You never murdered and that was fine because you didn't need to.

Her on the other hand... you had washed enough blood stains for the bathroom to know that she still played deadly games.

“How long” the nasal voice had your teeth gritting and your fist clenching but you fought against her and your anger.

You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to see the image of the young girls that had forced you to take this job.

“I can't force him to make a move; he's stupid but if I start stripping his data he will go under” you snarl and enjoy feeling the man jerk away from you. The two heavy set men by the door twitched towards their guns and you rolled your eyes.  

Even if you hadn't trained for years with Lloyd and probably know ten different ways to kill the three men around you,  you knew for a fact that she would come out to play long before they could kill you.

“dumb ass shouldn't have cut me out” the nasal man muttered, no longer hovering near you.

It also helped that you gave off a vibe that made most smart people or even those who wanted to live give you a wide birth.

“You need to rethink your hiring process” you mutter in return before the disc turned green and you sat up.

“Game on” you mutter as your fingers fly over the key board, numbers flashed back and forth before a map appeared and a red dot flashed steadily.

“Is that where he lives?” you ask dumbfounded before turning to glare at the nasal man who gapped at the screen.

“He kept them at his apartment?!” the nasal man snarled before he looked at one of the men and nodded. They disappeared while the other began speaking. You took that moment to type in a command and watched with a grin as the 2 million that was slipping into a bank account stopped and returned back to it's source less fifty thousand short but you figured it was your due.

Suddenly your head jerked back and a hiss loosened from your mouth as the nasal man towered over you and glared down. Up close his breath was even worse.

“What do you think you are doing?! That isn't the account I fucking gave you” spittle hit your face and you forced down the gag and instead glared back.

“Middle man before the money goes to you?” you offer but another sharp yank had the tears gathering in your eyes and the hiss of pain turn to a whimper.

“I thought I could take my cut” you almost screamed when he tugged once more and you figured out he wasn't that dumb after all.

Rolling your eyes you tense your self ready for your next move.

“No? OK shit head I figured after I found out where your dip shit friend was keeping the girls I figured why not just transfer the money back and save everyone a lot of trouble” you snarled causing the man to stare at you dumbly before laughing, his grip didn't loosen but you didn't care.

“Now see what's gonna happen is I leave you here with Fred.... he might have fun with you before he kills you or he might just kill you, depending on his mood like” you glare when he smirks at you.

“I'm going to get them little girls and if they be lucky they might live to go back to mommy and daddy” he growled before shoving your forward hard enough for jaw to clip the edge of the table top and blur your vision as pain spread like wild fire.

You tasted that metallic taste against your tongue before you laughed and speckled the screen with blood.

“Good luck.... may or may not have given some people with bigger guns than you a heads up” you snort before there was a crack and you hit the floor with white pain stabbing the back of your head before stars danced before your eyes.  

With a grunt you rolled to the side and grin up at the man trying to look dangerous as he towered over you, his face flushed pink and his breathing almost coming out in a pants.

You feel the itch of your skin knitting back together but still held your place, grinning bloody teeth up at the man. As he went to take another step forward there was a scream from beyond the door and his eyes flashed towards it then back to you, his beady eyes taking in your grinning face.

“Bitch” he spat before dragging his gun from his belt and you bite hard to keep from laughing and pointing how dangerously close his gun was to his little pecker.

“Deal with her and get me the fuck out of here” he snarled to heavy set guy before turning and ripping the door open. The sound of shouts and heavy boots were made so much louder now the god awful music was gone. You turn your head to find a barrel pointed towards you, nasal man was gone in to the darkness and you let your smile slip from goofy to predatory.

There was moment on uncertainly in the heavy set man's eyes and that was all you needed as you sprang to your feet and brought you elbow up,he was raising up a heavy arm and even when your forearm hit heavy against his arm you were dropping and pushing yourself back so you could deliver a heavy kick to his knee cap, it wasn't enough to dislocate it just enough for a crunch to sound out before there was a bellow and he staggered forward.

You sprung up and grabbed your laptop and with a silent apology you cracked it hard against the back of his head. There was a show of sparks and your latest laptop was gone but he was not out for the count. Snatching up the gun before his stubby fingers could grab it you swung with all of your strength and maybe a little of hers as well to land a blow at the base of his skull.

When you were sure he couldn't race after you on steady legs you spun round and raced out into the darkness. Looking left and right you took a moment to breath and that's when you felt it, your left hand felt cold; colder than it had any right to.    

Glancing down you saw that your fingers had disjointed them selves and curled round to make claws, blackness dripping from them. Shaking your head you attempted to push her back, not letting her get a hold on her gap into this world.

After a few moments you dared to glance down and see (Y/S/C) looking back at you, and with a choked laugh you pushed off the wall to head left only to come to a stop when a lithe figure slipped through a door and a barrel was pointed at you again.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes but you didn't stop the grin when you saw the red hair and the cold glint to the woman's eyes.

“fancy meeting you here” you smirked as The Black Widow lowered her gun enough to cast a look over you.

“Great work in Budapest by the way” you praise gaining a cocked eyebrow from the other woman, she looked amused but you knew that she was a killer. In a second though she tilted her head and allowed her eyes to go wide.

“YOU?!” she demanded causing you to shrug and grin at her again.

Even if Peggy was no longer apart of S.H.I.E.L.D she told you enough when you visited her to make sure you kept them on your radar at all times. She might not have any proof but by the time Peggy retired she knew something was off.

And though you had out right refused Fury when he offered you a job via Peggy, you checked in once or twice until you found The Black Widow and Hawkeye running across your radar.

You had been in awe of the pair when you saw them working together and snatched up any information you could gleam about the pair without leading them straight to you.

Scrunching up your nose you figured you screwed up there as one of them was holding you at gun point when you should have already been gone.

“Yeah.... you guys already figured the dip shit for the kidnapping didn't you” you question as a small smile slips across the woman's lips and then disappeared.

“fifty fifty- didn't count on an employee” she offers causing you to raise your eyes and let out a snort.

“Dumb enough to keep the girls in his apartment!!!” you cry causing the other woman to smirk and for a moment you debate on asking her to let you go. But that cold glint is back and you know that one of you was going to get hurt.

“Are they safe?” you ask and you see that coldness soften and a small nod makes it worth it; makes having to sit and wait with scum to make sure those girls were safe worth it.

Before any thing could be said movement caught your attention and as the nasal bastard staggered out of his office with a brief case the Widow looked between you and debated who was worth her attention.

With a groan she gritted her teeth when the nasal man turned and sprinted down the hall way, she attempted to give you a look to make you stay but you both knew all she would find would be one heavy set man bleeding. You watched her spin and head after the man, raising two fingers to  your forehead and giving her a salute.

Turning you headed down the other hallway, ignoring the shouts of agents from the main room. You slipped into the changing room as you heard Fred shouting something, glancing at the small window to your right you stripped off your jacket and shirt. A sundress was hanging next to a mirror, you snatched it hoping to ignore you reflection afraid you would see black eyes.

It was a bit of a squeeze but you pulled yourself through the window and found your self in a dark alleyway, a fence blocking one entrance and the other slowly filling with people watching as agents swarmed in. slipping the dress over your head, you carefully peeled the (F/C) wig from your forehead and ruffled (H/L) hair out. Tossing the wig away in a trash can you strode towards the open alley way and smirked watching the black SUVs and the on lookers.

You watched for a few moments until you saw the widow frog marching out the nasal man, her eyes scanning the sea of faces surrounding her and for a moment she stopped at you but she dismissed you and looked around again. As they were pushing their prisoners in to the cars you turn and head back towards your hotel room.

You had a few ideas in mind as to what new laptop you wanted, and it was because you were so wrapped up in these thoughts you missed the blue eyes focused on you from a dark alleyway and the harsh Russian words spoken when a man with a metal arm turned away.