#and the elderly guy just calls him whatever his new favorite gelato flavor is

[frogaroundandfindout]

Au where somehow dick ends up becoming the apartment complex’s community jar opener

The first time it happens his neighbor is supposed to be hosting dinner for her boss but just can’t get the damn lid off of the maraschino cherries. It’s supposed to be on the cake because they’re her bosses favorite and she really needs this promotion. So she desperately knocks on doors looking for help and dick (half asleep from working three jobs) is the only one that answers. Then he takes one look at this near tears woman holding a jar of candy cherries like a lifeline, notes the red marks on her hands and the knife marks on the lid, then silently gestures for her to give it to him. It’s literally open in seconds and he jokes about her loosening it up for him. If she wasn’t so grateful she’d be infuriated at how easy it was for him.

Still she tells her gardening friend about what happened (an elderly man on the floor above hers who has the least green thumb she has ever seen) and a week later dick has him at his door holding up two pints of Talenti ice cream. Apparently he usually just saws through the plastic containers with a knife since he can never get the lids off and figured he might as well ask first this time. Bemused, dick pops the lids off effortlessly and gets a pint as payment. Dick agrees but only if they eat it together. That day he learns some truly fascinating things about plants that may or may not help him during a case.

After that it just keeps happening? A kid shows up at his door holding up a pickle jar and he find out that the kids mom is pregnant and has been having all kinds of cravings. When he walks the kid back home, the mom just tugs him inside and tells him to loosen all the jar. He’s honestly too surprised not to do it

Then an old woman that’s keeps trying to set dick up with her grandchildren. Then two teenagers sheepishly holding up a flint stone gummies vitamin bottle (how were we supposed to know you had to press down on the tab while twisting the top!). Then a little girl with a mason jar who tells him she’s going to catch a carpenter ant and make it the ruler of Barbie land.

Just dick accidentally becoming a very beloved members of every community he’s a part of