#and the damn dog behaviorist cost that much

[theasylumchild]

Saw the cutest shoes in the window of a store. Went in. Saw they were $285. Decided to spend that money on a dog behaviorist instead

[brokestminimalist]

Your dog isn’t a minimalist

Let’s get something straight.  Your dog isn’t a minimalist.  Neither is he a vegan or a vegetarian or a human.  He is a dog.  He has needs, and if you are not prepared to proved for those needs then you need to not acquire a pet.  You can care for your pet in a minimalist style, however you can not deny your pet the things he needs in the name of minimalism. Do not throw away all your cat’s toy mice because you’re becoming a minimalist. 

Let’s also address the fact that some people think minimalists shouldn’t have pets.  It’s true that pets come with a lot of expense and paraphernalia, but if pets are part of your lifestyle then that’s perfectly fine.  We are allowed hobbies.  The way we see it, the goal of minimalism is to remove the extra crap we don’t love to make way for the things we do love.  We love our dogs and our cats.  We don’t love roomfuls of clutter and a thousand tupperware containers. So we get rid of the latter in order to focus more on the former, and that’s the goal.  Minimalism is a tool.  Tailor it to your own personal goals.

So let’s go over some ways to reduce costs and hassle without reducing your pet’s quality of life.

BASIC NEEDS

Food:  For most dogs and cats, regular Purina chow is fine.  You can get fancier, but don’t go below that standard.  Why?  Poor nutrition results in health problems, which results in vet bills.  We know you’re broke, but pay a few extra dollars for decent food and you’ll be better off.  You can go fancier, of course, but most house pets do not need grain free or high protein food.  There is a lot of hype surrounding those these days, but they were designed for working dogs such as those that herd sheep or patrol farmland and not for your couch dog who patrols the living room.  PS, there is no shame in giving your pet kibble. Trying to make homemade dog food is risky for your dog’s health, expensive, and time consuming.  Not what we’d call minimalist.  PPS, canned food is for sick pets and special occasions, not for every day.  It’s too much trouble and dry food is cheaper per unit anyway due to the water content in wet food.

Water:  Your pet needs fresh water available 24/7 whether it lives outdoors or indoors.  The best solution for this is a gravity water tank.  Don’t add anything to it.  Just water. Do not give your pet booze or soda or tea or anything but clean, cool agua.  Keep it clean; if Animal Control drives by and sees green algae in your dog’s bucket you’re probably going to get a ticket.  

Shelter: Just because your Husky has a fur coat does not mean he can’t feel the cold.  Dogs (and cats! and bunnies! and pigs! and all pets!) need a sturdy four sided shelter with appropriate insulation and a door to keep out the rain and wind.  In summer the house needs to be shaded because direct sunlight will turn it into an oven. You can purchase small dog houses that are a good size for cats, however we advocate for not letting cats outside.  Your pet will also need a little spot of its own indoors, whether it’s a cozy crate or bed or cat tree. Most of our dogs stay inside, and that’s perfectly valid.

Litter: For cats and small animals you’ll need litter.  We are of two minds on this.  On the one hand, we are inclined to buy the cheapest because you are literally just buying it for them to shit in.  On the other, cheap litter can make your house smell.  If you don’t want to smell piss all the time, get the good kind and scoop, scoop, scoop.  Tidy Cats Scoop is great for cats.  We like Kaytee brands for small animals.  (We are a non-sponsored blog and do not get paid to push any products, but we want our readers to benefit from our experience.  Get the Tidy Cats.)

Attention: Your pet needs to spend time with you.  Whether that’s walking, watching tv, playing catch, or purring on your lap while you read a book.  This benefits you too; lots of studies have proven that spending time with a pet is good for blood pressure and can relive depression and anxiety.  So snuggle your pet for a few minutes to improve both your lives!

Spay/Neuter: Yes, even your indoor pet needs to be altered.  No, you aren’t going to ruin its personality or kill its spirit or anything of the sort.  Get your dog fixed.  Unless you are a professional breeder it is irresponsible to do otherwise.  Not only will it reduce aggression and the desire to roam, you’ll eliminate the risk of reproductive cancers. Many counties have programs that will help out broke folks with this.  

Veterinary Care: Your pet needs an annual exam and shots.  It needs vet care if it is sick, injured or geriatric.  Denying this care is cruel and in most states, straight up illegal.  Find the money and get this routine stuff done.  It’ll prevent problems down the road and save you money. Keep flea, tick and heartworm prevention in mind.  These are not optional! The problem we see the most is that people can afford what they want to afford.  We see people drive up in fancy convertibles and then complain about the cost of spaying their cat.  We know if you’re reading this then you’re probably not driving a fancy car, but do get your priorities in order.  If you say you love your cat but aren’t willing to sacrifice a month of Netflix or a pizza night for a rabies shot, you need to rethink what kind of person you are. If you can’t afford the vet, you can’t afford the pet.

Toys: Believe it or not, toys are a necessity not a want.  Pets need mental stimulation and toys provide that.  Pets that don’t play can become withdrawn and aggressive.  Now, you don’t have to clear out PetCo to get your dog something it will play with.  Some tennis balls and sticks are perfect for fetching.  Cheap stuffed animals are great for shredding, just keep an eye out because some dogs will eat the stuffing.  For cats a wad of aluminum foil or paper are great toys.  You don’t have to spend serious money here, just be creative and keep safety in mind.

Exercise: Cats will normally get exercise by running around like wackos in the middle of the night, but dogs need to be walked.  Rabbits need to get out of their cage and stretch their muscles.  Piggies need to get some cardio.  You can walk a pig on a leash!  Get them some exercise every day.  It’s good for them, good for you, and will help you sleep at night.  A tired dog is a good dog!

EXTRAS

Treats: People food is not a treat.  Do NOT feed your pet people food unless it’s raw vegetables (and not poisonous ones like onion or garlic).  Bones are not treats.  DO NOT FEED YOUR DOG BONES.  Just today we assisted in a procedure to remove a beef bone impacted in a dog’s intestine.  This dog hadn’t shat in over a week.  It was incredibly traumatic to the dog’s asshole and to our sense of smell.  This dog’s owner is probably going to pay upwards of five hundred dollars for this procedure.  Because. of. a. bone.  Buy your pets species appropriate treats from the store.  Yes, we know pet stores sell bones.  Do not feed them to your dog.

Leash/collar: In some areas dogs can be allowed off leash, but many jurisdictions require them .  In this case your dog needs a leash and collar with a nametag that includes his name, your phone number and address, and any meds he needs to take.  We don’t put collars on our cats, but you can.  PS, a collar with a bell isn’t going to stop your cat from killing wildlife if you let it outside.  Don’t bother.  Just accept that if your cat gets out you are going to be responsible for the death of a few birds and squirrels.  You do not need fifty different ones or a different color for each day of the week.  Just one.

Microchips: These are little RFID chips that are implanted in your pet’s back to identify it in case it ever gets picked up by the shelter or a good samaritan after being lost.  It is not a GPS tracker.  No, the government won’t be watching you.  It’s great for proving that your pet is yours, especially if it’s of a species or breed that’s difficult to tell one from the other.  They are relatively cheap; you can usually have this done at your vet for under $50.

Clothes: This is 99% a waste of money.  Unless your pet is very old or sick, it probably does not need to wear a sweater.

Grooming: For some breeds this amounts to a bath every few months, and even then it’s optional.  For other this is a weekly or even daily task.  Don’t forget about cleaning ears, trimming nails, and brushing teeth.  You may need some tools for this, but don’t have fifteen nail clippers or ten different shampoos sitting around.  One of each will suffice. Also froo-froo haircuts are stupid.  Your cat does not want a lion cut.  Do not spend money on one.

Hair dye/nail polish: This is stupid and you shouldn’t spend money on it.

Hair bows: Like, why?

FitBark: No.

No-pull harness: There are a variety of these available and different dogs react differently to different ones.  If you have a pulling problem try different ones until you find one that works.

Training devices: Clickers are great and super effective.  Choke and prong collars can be used effectively as a last resort by your average intelligent dog owner.  However, if you feel that your pet needs correction with a shock collar you need to contact a behaviorist and have them teach you how to use it.  Improper use of a shock collar can make the behavior worse or create new unwanted behaviors.  We know they sell them to anyone, but do not use them without the supervision of a professional.

Homeopathic/herbal remedies: No.  If your dog has a medical or behavioral problem, you need to see a veterinarian or a behaviorist.  If your dog has anxiety it needs real medicine and CBT, not some damn chamomile.

Jewelry/butthole charms: Lawl, no.

Sunglasses: No.

There are lots of stupid accessories and products out there that you could buy for your pet, and you’d be wasting time and money.  However, there are many useful items that you’ll need in order to care for your pet properly.  Most of all your pet needs your love and companionship, and those are free.

Links: Minimalist Living with Pets, Cool Dog Toys, Best Cat Litters