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wooahaes · 1 day

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skz - coming out as bisexual

pairing: non-idol!skz x fem!bisexual!reader

genre: a mix of fluff and angst + hurt/comfort.

warnings: a mix of feelings toward coming out in each drabble (some more casual, some more emotional), all drabbles end with acceptance. some drabbles have reader having known for a long time, others are more recent discoveries. reader being outed at a party [minho]. depictions of a panic attack [minho]. biphobia mentions, including one accidental biphobic comment that gets called out and apologized for immediately [seungmin]. reader being fully prepared for a breakup [jisung] due to her sexuality. food mentions [felix].

daisy's notes: happy pride lol these are the last ones im gonna do <3

bang chan

"someone told me my room has bisexual lighting once." chris flopped down onto his bed, hands coming to rest on his stomach. "i think it was felix, actually."

this was the first time you'd ever stepped foot into his bedroom. you'd seen it before on late night video calls, but you'd always paid a little more attention to your sleepy boyfriend than the lighting. felix had been right, though: the pink and blue lighting came together to make purple in such a pretty way. it oddly felt like fate that you wandered into his life, even though he didn't know.

... did he? no. he didn't know. you hadn't told him. but he could have figured it out. why else would he randomly mention the bisexual lighting thing?

"so?" he peeked up at you, watching the idle way you'd started looking around his room. "do you like it?"

"it's very you," you said with a soft hum. "kinda small, though."

"ah, well, yeah," he stretched his arms out, enough that he could reach the window if he boosted himself toward it a little. "this is the smallest room in the apartment. felix needed enough space for his gaming setup, and since seungmin is sharing a room with jeongin..."

you could connect the dots for yourself. "how sweet of you," you giggled. you sat down at the end of his bed, drawing your legs up so you could sit criss-cross next to him. your heart already started to pick up as you decided that this was it. it would be better to rip off the band-aid, wouldn't it? if chris wasn't the guy you thought he was... "i do like the lighting in here, though."

"oh, yeah?" he'd reached over to take your hand. "bisexual lighting. blue and pink are a really good color combination, i think."

"bisexual lighting, bisexual girlfriend..." you hummed to yourself, trying to act as casual as you could despite the way your heart was racing now. "seems like you just have a thing for bisexuality."

chris looked up, studying you for a moment. a moment later, he just smiled. "i guess i do," he said. and then he yanked you down so that you came crashing onto his chest, and he wrapped his arms around you. "funny how that works out, hm?"

you just rested against him, watching the way he giggled to himself a little. he didn't seem offended in the slightest, which was good. "chris, i..."

he looked at you with a him. "is something wrong?" he paused, "did... did i say something wrong? i swear, i didn't mean to make you think i suspected something or wanted you to come out already—"

you shook your head. "nah. i know that." gently, you patted his arm. "i'm just glad you're you."

he shifted enough so that he was sitting up, you still in his arms, and he leaned in to kiss your temple. he nuzzled the side of your cheek, before planting one soft kiss against your lips. "i'm glad that you're you, too, angel."

lee minho

minho found you curled up in a bedroom upstairs in his house, hyperventilating. he heard what was said just as you did, so he knew... but he made his way over, kneeling down in front of you. this wasn't the first time he'd found you in the middle of a panic attack. but this time, he knew you better. he knew how to take care of you. once you were calm, he'd treat you to whatever you wanted before going home. it was the least he could do.

"can i touch you?" he said softly. when you nodded, he reached up to take your hands. "i'll count. all you have to do is breathe."

despite it, you started to babble out apologies. that you were going to tell him, really, but you wanted to do it on your own time and—

minho squeezed your hands. "i'm not angry at you," he promised. "it's okay. let's calm down together."

without giving you the space you would use to get carried away again, minho began to count. despite the hiccups and the fact you felt like you could start crying all over again, you shut your eyes and tried your best to calm down. his voice was soft and even, slowly counting from one to ten and back down again. you didn't know how many times he did it, to be honest. all you knew was that once you could breathe again, minho had reached up to pull you into his arms.

"it's okay," he whispered, pressing a lingering kiss against your temple. when he drew back, it was to look you in the eyes. "i love you. if you want me to forget what i heard, i will."

but other people won't. you wiped at your eyes. "minho, i..." you hiccuped again. no doubt your makeup was ruined at this point, and you'd made a point of making yourself look cute because this was supposed to be a fun night out.

"we can go down the stairs toward the back and go around the house," minho ran his thumb along your knuckles. "no one will see us."

you nodded slowly. "okay, but..." with another hiccup, you reached up to cup his cheek. "can... can i say it? and we can just pretend it's the first time you're hearing it?"

he nodded. "whatever you need."

with a deep breath, you pushed away those lingering nerves. "hi." you blinked back tears. "i love you. i'm bisexual. i hope this doesn't cha—"

"it doesn't." he leaned in to kiss you, soft and sweet and short. "it never would, honey."

your breath hitched at how tender he was treating you, always so loving and soft when you needed him to be. minho could tease you endlessly at times, or he could be blunt and funny and weird... but he was one of the most loving people you knew. the light caught your couple's ring just right, and it felt the universe was sending you a reminder that you'd made the right choice in being with him.

"i love you," he said in a low voice, and he brushed back a strand of hair from your face. "thank you for trusting me with this." he stood up, gently tugging for you to stand with him. "let's go home."

before he could move, you pulled him back into your arms. the two of you just stood there, holding one another for as long as you needed to face the world again.

seo changbin

you weren't sure how the two of you ended up on this topic. one minute, changbin had been telling you about a recent outing he had with a friend. the next, the two of you were talking about your past relationships. changbin had been tracing his fingers alongside your arm idly, talking about a high school girlfriend when he finally turned the topic around on you. he'd been nervous the first time he kissed her, heart racing and everything. he'd been nervous the first time he kissed you, too, apparently.

"you dated before you met me, right?"

ah. shit. either you had to outright lie about your past relationships, few as they may be, or... just tell him. one of your friends had always been insistent on you telling the people you dated up front about your identity, just to weed out the bad ones. but you'd always ended up shying away from the idea a bit, especially when you ended up attached to people. and changbin...

well... it'd been a little too easy to get attached to changbin. ever since the night he'd asked you to officially be his girlfriend, all starry-eyed and blushy, you'd sworn you fell for him then and there.

"yeah," you said, not meeting his gaze. "i dated a little, yeah."

"well?" he watched you curiously. "am i better than those guys?" he'd teased you, smiling a cute smile that always left you wanting to kiss him.

you glanced up, watching him for a second. "well. guy and girl, but yeah, i'd say you're pretty cool."

he blinked once, then twice, and seemed to take it in stride. "ah." he toyed with the bracelet around your wrist. "so... you're...?"

"bisexual. i've known since middle school," you shrugged. "is that a big deal?"

"no!" he quickly shook his head. "i was just curious. i heard that people use different labels, so..." his fingers brushed against your skin now. "i wanted to know. is that okay?"

the earnest way he asked you made you snort a little. "more than okay," you leaned in to kiss his cheek. "thank you for not freaking out or anything. the last guy i dated got weird about it and asked if i was straight when i was with him." you rolled your eyes. "i was young and stupid, so i didn't leave him when he asked, but i think it was a huge reason in why i did break things off."

changbin reached forward, drawing you closer to him. "well... i'm glad you did." he smiled at you, cheeks turning pink. "thank you for telling me, by the way," he squeezed your hips. "i trust you a lot, too."

with a giggle, you closed the distance between the two of you. truly, you'd lucked out with getting someone so cute into your life.

hwang hyunjin

"i like the colors of this one." hyunjin leaned over to where you had sketched out a embroidery design again on paper. he'd tapped the one in the colors of the bi flag, a sketch you'd done purely for your own self-indulgence while testing out colors, and something about that made your heart leap into your throat. "they look the prettiest here."

all you had meant to do was ask hyunjin for a second opinion on the colors for the flowery design you'd put together. you'd already set the design itself in stone days ago, but ended up spending way too much time that same afternoon drawing it out over and over with colored pencils to get an idea of how you wanted it to be composed. nothing seemed to make you happy, so when hyunjin came over to spend a cozy night in with you... you figured why not get your artistically inclined boyfriend to give his opinion?

"oh, really?" you tried your best to sound nonchalant about the whole thing. "you think so?"

he nodded. "i like the pastel ones, too... but this one is still the prettiest," he rested his head in one hand. "it's like that sunset we saw once... the one i took a picture of?" he traced the tip of his finger over the paper, careful not to smudge anything by accident. "you've always liked those colors, too."

that evening, you'd stepped out of a restaurant ahead of hyunjin. the sky had been a beautiful mix of blue and pink and purple, and you'd stepped a little farther to stand in awe of it. hyunjin snapped a picture of it (and you), and saved it as his phone background for a while. you didn't have the courage to tell him why you'd been so entranced by it. but this time...

"yeah," you said softly. "hyunjin, can i tell you something?"

he looked up, and you could already see how concerned he was. "did i say something bad?"

you shook your head. quietly, you reached for his hand, and held it within both of your own. "i like those colors because they're the same colors as the bisexual flag... so they mean something personal to me."

he glanced down at your hands for a moment, a bit clueless as to how serious the conversation had turned. "okay...?"

as much as you loved hyunjin and his witty, sometimes sarcastic brain, you swore his brain was always a step behind when you were even slightly touchy with him. he'd told you once that you made it hard to concentrate, but that had been in your early days of dating. "do i need to say it directly?"

he shook his head. "you're bisexual. right?"

you nodded. "is... is that going to be a problem?"

another shake of his head. "no," he said. "but thank you for telling me," he said softly. "i... should show you something."

he drew his hand away from your own, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. all too easily, he pulled up a picture he'd taken of a work-in-progress watercolor painting. you could clearly make out your silhouette against that sky. hyunjin's face had started to turn red.

"i was going to surprise you, but..." his eyes were softer as he gazed at you. "i want you to have it when i'm done. okay?"

"it's already beautiful," you cupped his cheeks, drawing him toward you. "thank you, darling."

han jisung

"i'm bisexual. it's okay if you want to leave me because of it."

the second sentence had broken his heart the moment he heard you say it over the phone. that was why jisung told you to wait for him: he'd be at your apartment within the next thirty minutes, if public transport was kind to him. all he had done was promise that he wasn't breaking up with you, just to hopefully set your mind at east. why had you chosen to do this over the phone...? he shook his leg as he sat on the bus, mind racing with possibilities. is it because you didn't trust him to react well...? or had you been too scared to do it any other way, so this was the easier way? he wasn't sure. all he could hope was that you trusted him either way. the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel like you weren't safe to be your most authentic self with him.

he ended up racing up the steps of your apartment complex, grumbling about how today, of all days, the elevator was out of order. not that it mattered. even if it left him winded, he pushed through it to end up at your door. and when he saw your face again, he saw a mix of emotions had built up inside you. a sense of relief that he was, indeed, there before you. a sense of fear because he'd raced there as fast as he could (to your knowledge)... to do what? to say what?

"i love you." he said, still a little breathless from the rush there. "and... and i accept you. and—" he reached into his pocket. "i made you this."

it was a small beaded bracelet he'd managed to string together quickly with the help of felix. he didn't explain the color choice: all he said was that they were colors you liked, and felix had accepted the reason easily enough. pink and purple and blue hearts, cute as could be. it needed to be cute: it was for his love, after all.

tears welled up in your eyes as jisung stretched the bracelet over your wrist. he kept your hand within his own, his touch as gentle as could be. "thank you for telling me," he said. "and... and i'd never leave you just because of who you are. i... i'm sorry if i ever made you think that."

you shook your head quickly, tears rolling down your cheeks. "i just... you... wouldn't have been the first to do it."

you could see the way jisung's heart broke in his eyes, his gaze so soft as he watched you. "oh. honey..." he reached up, cupping your cheek. "you don't have to worry about that. okay? i love you."

the tender way he said it to you now just proved how much he meant it. despite the fact that he was still standing in the hallway outside of your apartment, you stepped forward so that you could kiss him right then and there. the beads pressed into your wrist, a tiny gift to remind you just how much he cared. how quickly had he pulled it together...? you'd have to ask him later. but you drew back, smiling through your tears.

"i love you, too," you said softly. "thank you."

felix lee

"are you going to marry sebastian again this game?" felix's little character sprinted across your screen, making a last ditch effort to throw things into the shipping bin before the day is over. "i can save any stuff he likes if you are."

"nah. he's all yours." you tugged your blanket closer to your shoulders. felix hadn't said anything yet, so... maybe he didn't see the dish you left at his place? "hey, sunshine? did you get any water?"

"huh?" he looked up at his camera, gazing at you for a moment before looking over at his water bottle. he picked it up, gave it a slight shake, and then his head fell back. "shit."

"finish off this day," you said. "i'll wait."

as soon as he hopped into bed, the two of you were greeted with the end-of-day shipping screen. the day's earnings ticked up, and you watched as felix unraveled himself from his blankets and promised he'd be back in a few minutes. quietly, you watched him leave the room, door left open as he went to get water.

and you began counting down. he'd walk into his kitchen, go to refill his bottle... only to find the baking dish covered on his countertop. he'd ask himself how he missed it, and then—

"did you come by earlier?" felix was already coming back in the room, toting the thing in his hands. "you didn't tell me."

"i just dropped something off," you rested your head in your hands. "wore a mask the entire time. there's soup in the fridge, too."

he pouted as he looked up at the screen. "you didn't have to do that. you can't be cute when i'm sick like this..." he sniffled, and then ran a hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes. "are these lemon bars?"

less than a minute for him to call you cheesy, counting down now. he popped open the cover, only to stop and realize you'd spelled something out in powdered sugar. he looked up, staring at you for a minute.

"baby... did you literally just come out to me using lemon bars?"

"what, was i not supposed to?" you were fighting back a smile. you knew felix would be the one person you could one-hundred-percent trust with pulling a stunt like this. "but... yeah," you watched him. "you know how i've been weird lately? it's... kind of because of this." chewing the inside of your cheek, you watched him. "i just... i dunno. i've known for so long, and i feel like i should have told you sooner, but... i just really love you, you know? and i—"

felix stopped you before you could go on, "you don't owe me anything. so... don't say you should have told me sooner. it's your choice," he said, firm as he could be with you, "and you shouldn't make it based on what you think i do or don't deserve."

you blinked back tears. how did you get so lucky...? not every time you've told someone about your bisexuality went this well. fuck, some former friends were cruel to you over it—saying all the biphobic bullshit you'd seen ten times over online from complete strangers, even though it had never been directly aimed at you. the only reason you felt safe talking to felix about this now was because he'd been so warm and welcoming, and so normal about saying the words "her girlfriend" when telling you about some friends he'd met online.

all of a sudden, you were booted out of the game. before you could say anything, you could see felix gathering his things.

"i'm coming over," he said. "i'll—i'll wear a mask the entire time so you don't get my cold. i just... i wanna see you. is that okay?"

you nodded. "i'll be waiting."

kim seungmin

"... and so he broke up with her because she told him she's bisexual," you said, head resting in your hand. this entire story was an elaborate lie, but you needed to gauge something due to recent realizations you'd had about yourself. you just needed to know if seungmin would think that it was fucked up. it wouldn't guarantee your safety with him (nothing would, except you actually coming out), but it'd at least give you hope.

seungmin looked up. "really?" he'd been scrolling through social media on his phone. "what year is it?" he frowned. "it wasn't like she'd cheated or anything, right?"

something about the question twisted your stomach, the harmful stereotype nipping at the back of your mind. you spoke without hesitating: "being bisexual doesn't mean she cheated. it doesn't mean anyone is more likely to cheat."

"that's not—" seungmin paused, shaking his head. "no, you're right. i'm sorry. it's not what i meant, but..."

he didn't say anything further, but the way he was looking at you told you that seungmin was starting to figure things out. whether he'd figure out the story was a lie was more up in the air. but the quick way you'd defended this person you made up. "he just... said she was too confused for him," you lied. "that he didn't want to be with someone indecisive."

seungmin nodded slowly. "i think that's cruel." he watched you carefully, lips pressed together as he just... waited for you to say anything else. "is that—"

"i'm bisexual." the words slipped out of your mouth before you could think twice about it. "and i made the story up. i—i know testing you was wrong, but i wanted to know before i said anything so, i... i just..." tears brimmed your eyes, betraying you all too easily. why were you crying?

seungmin set aside his phone, moving in to wrap an arm around you. "i kind of figured that it was a lie," he said quietly. "how long have you known?"

your face heated up. why would he ask...? "kind of recently," you admitted. "i mean... i always kind of had girl crushes, but i kept thinking that they weren't as real or as valid because i never acted on any of them because i was too shy." it'd taken you a while to unravel those feelings, to fully accept that your attraction to women was just as valid as your attraction to men. but learning to accept it had been so, so important to you. "i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner, but—"

he shook his head, hands finding your own after a moment. "you're getting upset," he said, calm and steady as ever. "i think we should calm down and then talk about this."

you pulled one hand away so you could roughly wipe at your eyes. "so you're not mad...?"

"why would i be mad?" he frowned at you. "it's your identity. not mine. it doesn't change how you feel about me, right?"

you shyly nodded.

"then why would i be upset?" seungmin reached up to brush a strand of hair from your face. "i'd only be upset if you broke up with me because i love you. not because you're bisexual."

sometimes you appreciated how matter-of-fact seungmin could be. you'd seen the twinkle in his eyes whenever he was teasing you, but seungmin had always been good about fully stepping back and being straightforward when you needed it the most. slowly breathing in and out, you focused on calming yourself down entirely.

"i love you," he said firmly. "and... i'm glad that you choose me. it's sweet."

you were choosing him. it was such an obvious sentiment that you'd always felt, even when you thought you were only "truly" attracted to men, but it oddly meant more to hear him say now. he was acknowledging your attraction to others as equally valid, wasn't he? you just leaned in, pressing a tiny kiss against his cheek.

"of course," you said softly. "i'd always choose you, silly."

yang jeongin

"what flag is that?"

the world seemed to stop around you. jeongin had been stretched out on your bed (the first time he'd ever been in your room, actually), waiting for you to finish an essay for one of your classes. the two of you were going to go out for dinner to celebrate six months together... and now jeongin had noticed the one thing you feared could end your relationship then and there. you were out and proud with your friends, with your housemates. but jeongin? you hadn't told jeongin yet. you were going to, at your own pace, but now felt a little soon...

so you decided to play dumb, looking away from your laptop. "what flag?"

jeongin just pointed at the little enamel pin frame you had, half-filled with pins. one of them had been a gift from your best friend after you came out to her: a little heart with the colors of the bi flag on it that she ordered that same day and gave to you a week later. you wore it to pride when you went with her last year, but you mostly kept it on display out of fear that you'd lose it. sure, it was easily replaceable... but the meaning behind it made it too sentimental to you to even risk it. you blinked, unsure of what to say.

jeongin rolled onto his side, watching you. "what country is that? is that a country's flag?" he rested his head against his hand. "the colors are too cool for that."

in any other situation, you would laugh. you reached out instead, fixing the pin from where it was a little crooked. "it's a bisexual pride pin. it's, uh, got the flag on it."

"ah." he nodded, looking at it. "i like the colors. they're pretty." he looked up. "is it yours?"

was this his way of letting you lie to him if you wanted to...? you looked at jeongin, and quietly nodded after a moment. "yeah," you said, ignoring the way your nerves were frazzled. no point in holding back now. "it's mine. my best friend gave it to me when i came out to her," you turned back to your laptop. "i usually wear a more subtle one, but... i didn't wanna lose this one, so..."

he nodded. a moment later, he reached out to stop you from typing away at your laptop. "are you okay?" his fingers came to rest on your pulse point, and you realized the ass was straight up checking to make sure you were okay. "oh, wow, your heart is racing."

"i just came out to you, you jerk," you playfully swatted at his arm. "of course my heart is racing."

he chuckled, "i thought it was just because i'm here." another playful swat at him sent him into giggles. "i mean it, though... are you okay?" he sat up, tugging one of your pillows into his lap. "you didn't have to tell me. i'm glad you did, because i really like you, but you could have lied if you weren't ready and i wouldn't have been upset."

"i wouldn't have done it if i wasn't ready," you said. "i trust you, jeongin." you turned after you saved the final draft of this essay one last time, reaching out to cup his face. "okay? let me submit this and then we can go out."

"okay," he turned his face so that he could kiss the side of your thumb. "but i want to buy dinner."

"jeongin—"

"coming out is really big, right?" his eyes were twinkling a little as he smiled at you. and when you nodded, he just kissed the side of your thumb again. "so i'll buy dinner tonight. we can split it next time."

instead of turning back to your laptop, you rolled your chair over so it was next to the bed. leaning in, you planted a soft kiss against his lips. "you're sweet," you said when you pulled back. "thanks, jeongin."

"of course," he said, voice softer than before. "i love you—" he paused, catching himself, "i really like you—"

you let him go as he changed the topic abruptly, pretending that he didn't just drop the big "L" word in one of the cutest ways you could imagine. instead, you just made plans to tell him you loved him when he walked you home tonight. just so he knew he wasn't alone in that.