#and the children's faith in their parents can be interpreted as a kind of coping mechanism
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Okay so:
Church on Ruby Road concerns Ruby's feelings about being a foundling and not knowing who her biological parents are, and then dramatizes this in a whimsical dreamlike fashion with an adventure about an orphaned infant being abducted by goblins (evoking myths of fairies stealing/replacing babies, thus the cultural fear of babies being displaced from their "rightful" parents)
Space Babies takes place in a society of "babies" (who look like toddlers but are said to be six years old and speak and act like they're at least that old) who, in the socially-created absence of any apparent parents have mythologized "mummy and daddy" as some kind of foretold salvational figures in their weird baby religion
We're gonna ignore The Devil's Chord
Boom features a twelve-year-old girl who, due to some combination of growing up in a high-control religious community and being written poorly, has a bafflingly obsessive, immature, and gormless relationship to her father (and, if we're willing to read against the grain, we can even interpret the episode's cop-out decision to have a father's love instantly delete the puzzle box and end the war as a hyperbolic manifestation of the girl's literally over-the-top devotion to her father)
73 Yards focuses back on Ruby herselfâ19 years oldâand plays out her fear of abandonment as she becomes isolated and alienated from everyone around her, most notably her mother, and must learn to live out her adult life alone
Dot and Bubble is about an exocolony of affluent 17-to-27-year-olds who notably depend on their wealthy parents back on their home planet as a fallback if anything goes bad
If Rogue ends up being about, like, 30-year-olds being pressured by their parents into having kids or whatever, well then I think I may have found a salient theme for this season of Doctor Who
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#specifically that these are all about people's relationships to their parents at different ages under peculiar social pressures#perhaps something about how deteriorating social infrastructure impacts said relationships?#in both space babies and boom the characters are victims of social murder or would-be social murder#and the children's faith in their parents can be interpreted as a kind of coping mechanism#in boom and dot&bubble the characters' supremacist society seems to teach children to idolize their parents#and the Ruby-centered episodes feature children unwillingly separated from their parents by outside/supernatural forces#which can be read as representing deleterious normative social forces present within the family itself if you're cool#(and willing to give the writers more credit than the probably deserve)
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NEW LIBRARY MATERIAL September 2020 - February 2021
Bibliography
Sorted by Call Number / Author.
011.7 F
Fadiman, Clifton, 1904-1999. The new lifetime reading plan / : the classical guide to world literature, Revised and expanded. 4th ed. New York : HarperCollins Publishers, 1999, c1997.
155.2 G
Gladwell, Malcolm, 1963-. David and Goliath : underdogs, misfits, and the art of battling giants. First edition. Goliath : "Am I a dog that you should come to me with sticks?" -- The Advantages of Disadvantages (and the Disadvantages of Advantages). Vivek Ranadiv婉: "It was really random. I mean, my father had never played basketball before." ; Teresa DeBrito: "My largest class was twenty-nine kids. Oh, it was fun." ; Caroline Sacks: "If I'd gone to the University of Maryland, I'd still be in science. -- The Theory of Desirable Difficulty. David Boies: You wouldn't wish dyslexia on your child. Or would you? ; Emil "Jay" Freireich: "How Jay did it, I don't know." ; Wyatt Walker: "De rabbit is de slickest o' all de animals de Lawd ever made." -- The Limits of Power. Rosemary Lawlor: "I wasn't born that way. This was forced upon me." ; Wilma Derksen: "We have all done something dreadful in our lives, or have felt the urge to." ; Andr婉 Trocm婉: "We feel obliged to tell you that there are among us a certain number of Jews.". This book uncovers the hidden rules that shape the balance between the weak and the mighty and the powerful and the dispossessed. In it the author challenges how we think about obstacles and disadvantages, offering a new interpretation of what it means to be discriminated against, or cope with a disability, or lose a parent, or attend a mediocre school, or suffer from any number of other apparent setbacks. He begins with the real story of what happened between the giant and the shepherd boy (David and Goliath) those many years ago. From there, the book examines Northern Ireland's Troubles, the minds of cancer researchers and civil rights leaders, murder and the high costs of revenge, and the dynamics of successful and unsuccessful classrooms, all to demonstrate how much of what is beautiful and important in the world arises from what looks like suffering and adversity. -- From book jacket.
170 H
Haidt, Jonathan, author. The happiness hypothesis : finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. Paperback edition. "The Happiness Hypothesis is a book about ten Great Ideas. Each chapter is an attempt to savor one idea that has been discovered by several of the world's civilizations--to question it in light of what we now know from scientific research, and to extract from it the lessons that still apply to our modern lives and illuminate the causes of human flourishing. Award-winning psychologist Jonathan Haidt shows how a deeper understanding of the world's philosophical wisdom and its enduring maxims--like "do unto others as you would have others do unto you," or "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"--can enrich and even transform our lives."--Back cover.
171 K
Kohn, Alfie. The brighter side of human nature : altruism and empathy in everyday life. New York : Basic Books, c1990.
305.5 W
Wilkerson, Isabel, author. Caste : the origins of our discontents. First edition. The man in the crowd -- Toxins in the permafrost and heat rising all around -- The arbitrary construction of human divisions -- The eight pillars of caste -- The tentacles of caste -- The consequences of caste -- Backlash -- Awakening -- Epilogue: A world without caste. "In this brilliant book, Isabel Wilkerson gives us a masterful portrait of an unseen phenomenon in America as she explores, through an immersive, deeply researched narrative and stories about real people, how America today and throughout its history has been shaped by a hidden caste system, a rigid hierarchy of human rankings. Beyond race, class, or other factors, there is a powerful caste system that influences people's lives and behavior and the nation's fate. Linking the caste systems of America, India, and Nazi Germany, Wilkerson explores eight pillars that underlie caste systems across civilizations, including divine will, bloodlines, stigma, and more. Using riveting stories about people--including Martin Luther King, Jr., baseball's Satchel Paige, a single father and his toddler son, Wilkerson herself, and many others--she shows the ways that the insidious undertow of caste is experienced every day. She documents how the Nazis studied the racial systems in America to plan their out-cast of the Jews; she discusses why the cruel logic of caste requires that there be a bottom rung for those in the middle to measure themselves against; she writes about the surprising health costs of caste, in depression and life expectancy, and the effects of this hierarchy on our culture and politics. Finally, she points forward to ways America can move beyond the artificial and destructive separations of human divisions, toward hope in our common humanity. Beautifully written, original, and revealing, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents is an eye-opening story of people and history, and a reexamination of what lies under the surface of ordinary lives and of America life today."--.
305.8 W
Williamson, Joel. A rage for order : Black/White relations in the American South since emancipation. New York, NY : Oxford University Press, 1968. Full ed.: published as The crucible of race. 1984. Traces the history of race relations, examines changing public attitudes, and tells the stories of those involved in Civil Rights movement.
305.9 P
Pipher, Mary Bray. The middle of everywhere : the world's refugees come to our town. First edition. Cultural collisions on the Great Plains -- The beautiful laughing sisters-an arrival story -- Into the heart of the heartland -- All that glitters ... -- Children of hope, children of tears -- Teenagers--Mohammed meets Madonna -- Young adults--"Is there a marriage broker in Lincoln?"-- Family--"A bundle of sticks cannot be broken" -- African stories -- Healing in all times and places -- Home-a global positioning system for identity -- Building a village of kindness. Offers the tales of refugees who have escaped countries riddled by conflict and ripped apart by war to realize their dream of starting a new life in America, detailing their triumph over adversity.
306.4 P
Pollan, Michael. The botany of desire : a plant's-eye view of the world. Random House trade pbk. ed. New York : Random House, 2002. Desire : sweetness, plant : the apple (Malus domestica) -- Desire : beauty, plant : the tulip (Tulipa) -- Desire : intoxication, plant : marijuana (Cannabis sativa x indica) -- Desire : control, plant : the potato (Solanum tuberosum). Focusing on the human relationship with plants, the author of Second nature uses botany to explore four basic human desires, sweetness, beauty, intoxication, and control, through portraits of four plants that embody them, the apple, tulip, marijuana, and potato. Every school child learns about the mutually beneficial dance of honeybees and flowers; the bee collects nectar and pollen to make honey and, in the process, spreads the flowers' genes far and wide. In The botany of desire, Michael Pollan ingeniously demonstrates how people and domesticated plants have formed a similarly reciprocal relationship. In telling the stories of four familiar species that are deeply woven into the fabric of our lives, Pollan illustrates how the plants have evolved to satisfy humankind's most basic yearnings. And just as we've benefited from these plants, the plants have done well by us. So who is really domesticating whom?.
307.1 I
Immerwahr, Daniel, 1980-. Thinking small : the United States and the lure of community development. First Harvard University Press paperback edition 2018. Cambridge, MA : Harvard University Press, 2015. Preface: Modernization, development, and community -- Introduction: Actually existing localism -- When small was big -- Development without modernization -- Peasantville -- Grassroots empire -- Urban villages -- Epilogue: What is dead and what is undead in community development?.
323.60973 I
In the hands of the people : Thomas Jefferson on equality, faith, freedom, compromise, and the art of citizenship. First edition. New York, NY : Random House, 2020. "Thomas Jefferson believed in the covenant between a government and its citizens, in both the government's responsibilities to its people and also the people's responsibility to the republic. In this illuminating collection, a project of the Thomas Jefferson Foundation, #1 New York Times bestselling author Jon Meacham has gathered Jefferson's most powerful and provocative reflections on the subject, drawn from public speeches and documents as well as his private correspondence. Still relevant centuries later, Jefferson's words provide a manual for U.S. citizenship in the twenty-first century. His thoughts will re-shape and revitalize the way readers relate to concepts including Freedom: "Divided we stand, united we fall." The importance of a free press:"Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter." Public education: "Enlighten the public generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body & mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day." Participation in government: A citizen should be "a participator in the government of affairs not merely at an election, one day in the year, but every day.""-- Provided by publisher.
324.6 P
Terborg-Penn, Rosalyn. African American women in the struggle for the vote, 1850-1920. Bloomington : Indiana University Press, c1998. Revisiting the question of race in the woman suffrage movement -- African American women in the first generation of woman suffragists : 1850-1869 -- African American woman suffragists finding their own voices : 1870s and 1880s -- Suffrage strategies and ideas : African American women leaders respond during "the nadir" -- Mobilizing to win the vote : African American women's organizations -- Anti-black woman suffrage tactics and African American women's responses -- African American women as voters and candidates -- The nineteenth amendment and its meaning for African American women. This study of African American women's roles in the suffrage movement breaks new ground. Rosalyn Terborg-Penn draws from many original documents to take a comprehensive look at the African American women who sought the right to vote. She discovers numerous Black suffragists previously unknown. Analyzing the women's own stories, she examines why they joined the woman suffrage movement in the United States and how they participated in it - with white women, Black men, as members of African American women's organizations, or simultaneously in all three. Terborg-Penn further discusses their various levels of interaction and types of feminist philosophy. Noting that not all African American woman suffragists were from elite circles, Terborg-Penn finds representation from working-class and professional women as well.They came from all parts of the nation. Some employed radical, others conservative means to gain the right to vote. Black women, however, were unified in working to use the ballot to improve not only their own status, but the lives of Black people in their communities. Drawing from innumerable sources, Terborg-Penn argues that sexism and racism prevented African American women from voting and from full participation in the national suffrage movement. Following the ratification of the Nineteenth Amendment, state governments in the South, enacted policies which disfranchised African American women, with many white suffragists closing their eyes to the discriminatory acts. Despite efforts to keep Black women politically powerless, Terborg-Penn contends that the Black suffrage was a source of empowerment. Every political and racial effort to keep African American women disfranchised met with their active resistance until Black women achieved full citizenship.
326.80922 B
Brands, H. W., author. The zealot and the emancipator : John Brown, Abraham Lincoln and the struggle for American freedom. First Edition. Pottawatomie -- Springfield -- Harpers Ferry -- The telegraph office. "What do moral people do when democracy countenances evil? The question, implicit in the idea that people can govern themselves, came to a head in America at the middle of the nineteenth century, in the struggle over slavery. John Brown's answer was violence--violence of a sort some in later generations would call terrorism. Brown was a deeply religious man who heard the God of the Old Testament speaking to him, telling him to do whatever was necessary to destroy slavery. When Congress opened Kansas territory to slavery, the eerily charismatic Brown raised a band of followers to wage war against the evil institution. One dark night his men tore several proslavery settlers from their homes and hacked them to death with broadswords, as a bloody warning to others. Three years later Brown and his men assaulted the federal arsenal at Harpers Ferry, Virginia, with the goal of furnishing slaves with weapons to murder their masters in a race war that would cleanse the nation of slavery once and for all. Abraham Lincoln's answer was politics. Lincoln was an ambitious lawyer and former office-holder who read the Bible not for moral guidance but as a writer's primer. He disliked slavery yet didn't consider it worth shedding blood over. He distanced himself from John Brown and joined the moderate wing of the new, antislavery Republican party. He spoke cautiously and dreamed big, plotting his path to Washington and perhaps the White House. Yet Lincoln's caution couldn't preserve him from the vortex of violence Brown set in motion. Arrested and sentenced to death, Brown comported himself with such conviction and dignity on the way to the gallows that he was canonized in the North as a martyr to liberty. Southerners responded in anger and horror that a terrorist was made into a saint. Lincoln shrewdly threaded the needle of the fracturing country and won election as president, still preaching moderation. But the time for moderation had passed. Slaveholders lumped Lincoln with Brown as an enemy of the Southern way of life; seven Southern states left the Union. Lincoln resisted secession, and the Civil War followed. At first a war for the Union, it became the war against slavery Brown had attempted to start. Before it was over, slavery had been destroyed, but so had Lincoln's faith that democracy can resolve its moral crises peacefully"--.
328.73 M
Meacham, Jon, author. His truth is marching on : John Lewis and the power of hope. First edition. Overture: the last march -- A hard life, a serious life -- The spirit of history -- Soul force -- In the image of God and democracy -- We are going to make you wish you was dead -- I'm going to die here -- This country don't run on love -- Epilogue: against the rulers of the darkness. "John Lewis, who at age twenty-five marched in Selma and was beaten on the Edmund Pettus Bridge, is a visionary and a man of faith. Using intimate interviews with Lewis and his family and deep research into the history of the civil rights movement, Meacham writes of how the activist and leader was inspired by the Bible, his mother's unbreakable spirit, his sharecropper father's tireless ambition, and his teachers in nonviolence, Reverend James Lawson and Martin Luther King, Jr. A believer in hope above all else, Lewis learned from a young age that nonviolence was not only a tactic but a philosophy, a biblical imperative, and a transforming reality. At the age of four, Lewis, ambitious to become a preacher, practiced by preaching to the chickens he took care of. When his mother cooked one of the chickens, the boy refused to eat it--his first act of non-violent protest. Integral to Lewis's commitment to bettering the nation was his faith in humanity and in God, and an unshakable belief in the power of hope. Meacham calls Lewis "as important to the founding of a modern and multiethnic twentieth- and twenty-first century America as Thomas Jefferson and James Madison and Samuel Adams were to the initial creation of the nation-state in the eighteenth century. He did what he did--risking limb and life to bear witness for the powerless in the face of the powerful--not in spite of America, but because of America, and not in spite of religion, but because of religion"--.
333.95 W
Wilson, Edward O. A window on eternity : a biologist's walk through Gorongosa National Park. First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition. Prologue: The Search for Eternity -- The Sacred Mountain of Mozambique -- Once There Were Giants -- War and Redemption -- Dung and Blood -- The Twenty-Foot Crocodile -- The Elephant Whisperer -- The House of Spiders -- The Clash of Insect Civilizations -- The Log of an Entomological Expedition -- The Struggle for Existence -- The Conservation of Eternity. "E.O. Wilson, one of the most celebrated scientists in the United States, shows why biodiversity is vital to the future of Earth and to our own species through the story of an African national park that may be the most diverse place on earth, in a gorgeously illustrated book"--. "The remarkable story of how one of the most biologically diverse habitats in the world was destroyed, restored, and continues to evolve--with stunning, full-color photographs by two of the world's best wildlife photographers. In 1976, Gorongosa National Park was the premier park in Mozambique, boasting one of the densest wildlife populations in all of Africa. Across 1,500 square miles of lush green floodplains, thick palm forests, swampy lakes, and vast plains roamed creatures great and small, from herds of wildebeest and elephant to countless bird species and insects yet to be classified. Then came the civil war of 1978-1992, when much of the ecosystem was destroyed, reducing some large animal populations by 90 percent or more. Due to a remarkable conservation effort sponsored by an American entrepreneur, the park was restored in the 1990s and is now evolving back to its former state. This is the story of that incredible transformation and why such biological diversity is so important. In A Window on Eternity, world-renowned biologist and two-time Pulitzer Prize-winner Edward O. Wilson shows why biodiversity is vital to the future of the Earth, including our human population. It is in places like Gorongosa in Africa, explains Wilson, that our own species evolved. Wilson takes readers to the forested groves of the park's watershed on sacred Mount Gorongosa, then far away to deep gorges along the edge of the Rift Valley, places previously unexplored by biologists, with the aim of discovering new species and assessing their ancient origins. He treats readers to a war between termites and raider ants, describes 'conversations' with elephant herds, and explains the importance of a one-day 'bioblitz.' Praised as 'one of the finest scientists writing today' (Los Angeles Times), Wilson uses the story of Gorongosa to show the significance of biodiversity to humankind"--.
340.092 S
Sligh, Clarissa T., artist. Transforming hate : an artist's book. First edition. "This book evolved from a project for which I folded origami cranes from pages of white supremacist books for the exhibition, Speaking Volumes: Transforming Hate ... I was trying to look at what it was like for me to turn hateful words into a beautiful art object. What actually evolved from that exploration helped me understand more fully the many levels of oppression and violence at the intersections of race, gender, class and sexual orientation." --inside front cover.
343.730 I
Internet law. Amenia, New York : Grey House Publishing, 2020.
345.73 C
Carter, Dan T. Scottsboro : a tragedy of the American South. Rev. ed. Fourth printing. Baton Rouge : Louisiana State University Press, 2007.
349.41 H
Honor婉, Tony, 1921-2019. About law : an introduction. Reprint: 2013. Law -- History -- Government -- Property -- Contracts and treaties -- Crimes -- Torts -- Forms and procedures -- Interpretation -- Justice -- Does law matter? -- Glossary.
363.73 P
Pollution. New York, NY : Grey House Publishing, 2020.
371.102 A
Agarwal, Pooja K., author. Powerful teaching : unleash the science of learning. First edition. Introduction -- Discover the power behind power tools -- Build a foundation with retrieval practice -- Empower teaching with retrieval practice strategies -- Energize learning with spacing and interleaving -- Engage students with feedback-driven metacognition -- Combine power tools and harness your toolbox -- Keeping it real: use power tools to tackle challenges, not add to them -- Foster a supportive environment: use power tools to reduce anxiety and strengthen community -- Spark conversations with students about the science of learning -- Spark conversations with parents about the science of learning -- Powerful professional development for teachers and leaders -- Do-it-yourself retrieval guide -- Conclusion: unleash the science of learning.
512 G
Algebra. 2004. New York : Springer Science+Business Media, 2004.
575.1 A
Arney, Kat, author. How to code a human. Meet your genome -- Our genetic journey -- How do genes work? -- Under attack! -- Who do you think your are? -- People are not peas -- Genetic superheroes -- Turn me on -- Sticky notes -- The RNA world -- Building a baby -- Wiring the brain -- Compatibility genes -- X and Y -- The viruses that made us human -- When things go wrong -- Human 2.0. "How to Code a Human takes you on a mind-bending journey through the world of the double helix, revealing how our DNA encodes our genes and makes us unique. Covering all aspects of modern genetics from the evolution of our species to inherited diseases, "junk" DNA, genetic engineering and the intricacies of the molecular processes inside our cells, this is an astonishing and insightful guide to the code of life"--Back cover.
598 S
Sibley, David, 1961- author, illustrator. What it's like to be a bird : from flying to nesting, eating to singing -- what birds are doing, and why. How to use this book -- Introduction -- Portfolio of birds -- Birds in this book -- What to do if... -- Becoming a birder. Explore more than two hundred species, and more than 330 new illustrations by the author, in this special, large-format volume, where many of the primary illustrations are reproduced life-sized. While its focus is on familiar backyard birds -- blue jays, nuthatches, chickadees -- What It's Like to Be a Bird also examines certain species that can be fairly easily observed, such as the seashore-dwelling Atlantic Puffin. David Sibley's exacting artwork and wide-ranging expertise bring observed behaviors vividly to life. And while the text is aimed at adults -- including fascinating new scientific research on the myriad ways birds have adapted to environmental changes -- it is nontechnical, making it the perfect occasion for parents and grandparents to share their love of birds with young children, who will delight in the big, full-color illustrations of birds in action. -- back cover.
613.6 C
Bushcraft Illustrated: a visual guide. New York, NY : Simon & Schuster, Inc. (Adams Media: imprint of Simon & Schuster), 2019.
638.1 B
Michael Bush. The Practical beekeeper. Nehawka, Nebraska : X-Star Publishing Company, 2004-2011. V. 1 - The Practical Beekeeing Naturally; V.2 - Intermediate Beekeeping Naturally.
660.6 D
Druker, Steven M., author. Altered genes, twisted truth : how the venture to genetically engineer our food has subverted science, corrupted government, and systematically deceived the public.
709.2 A
Atalay, BÂ©ÆĄlent. Math and the Mona Lisa: : the art and science of Leonardo da Vinci. New York, NY : Smithsonian Books in association with HarperCollins Publishers, 2006. Leonardo was one of history's true geniuses, equally brilliant as an artist, scientist, and mathematician. Following Leonardo's own model, Atalay searches for the internal dynamics of art and science. He provides an overview of the development of science from the dawn of civilization to today's quantum mechanics. From this base, Atalay offers a view into Leonardo's restless intellect and modus operandi, allowing us to see the source of his ideas and to appreciate his art from a new perspective.
741.5 G
Greenberg, Isabel. The encyclopedia of early earth : a graphic novel. First American edition. Love in a very cold climate -- Part 1. The land of Nord. The three sisters of Summer Island ; Beyond the frozen sea ; The gods ; The odyssey begins -- Part 2. Britanitarka. Summer and winter ; Creation ; Medicine man ; The storytellers ; Creation ; Dag and Hal ; The old lady and the giant ; The time of the giants ; The children of the mountain ; The long night ; Dead towns & ghost men -- Part. 3. Migdal Bavel. Migdal Bavel ; The mapmaker of Migdal Bavel ; The bible of Birdman: Genesis ; Bible of Birdman, book of Kiddo: The great flood ; The tower of Migdal Bavel ; The palace of whispers ; The gods #2 -- Part 4. The South Pole. The gods #3 -- Appendices. A brief history of time ; The Nords ; Hunting and fishing ; The 1001 varieties of snow ; The invisible hunter ; Britanitarka ; Birds & beast from early Earth ; The moonstone ; The plucked firebird of Hoo. "Chronicles the explorations of a young man as he paddles from his home in the North Pole to the South Pole. There, he meets his true love, but their romance is ill-fated. Early Earth's unusual and finicky polarity means the lovers can never touch"--Publisher's website.
808.1 G
How poetry can change your heart. San Francisco, CA : Chronicle Books, 2019.
808.5 E
Franklin, Sharon. Essentials of speech communication. Evanston, Ill. : McDougal Littell, 2001.
808.53 H
Hanson, Jim. NTC's dictionary of debate. Lincolnwood, Ill., USA : National Textbook Co., c1990.
808.53 W
Strategic debate. Textbook. Columbus, OH : Glencoe/McGraw-Hill, 2006.
810.8 B
Lepucki, Edan, author. The best American nonrequired reading 2019. This anthology presents a selection of short works from mainstream and alternative American periodicals published in 2019, including nonfiction, screenplays, television writing, fiction, and alternative comics.
815 R
Representative American speeches, 2019-2020. Amenia, New York : Grey House, Publishing, 2020. "Selected from a diverse field of speakers and venues, this volume offers some of the most engaging American speeches of the year. Distinguished by its diversity, covering areas in politics, education, popular culture, as well as trending topics in the news, these speeches provide an interesting format to explore some of the year's most important stories."-Publisher.
909.09 D
Davis, Jack E., 1956- author. The Gulf : the making of an American sea. First edition. Prologue : history, nature, and a forgotten sea -- Introduction : birth -- Part one. Estuaries, and the lie of the land and sea : aborigines and colonizing Europeans. Mounds -- El golfo de M婉xico -- Unnecessary death -- A most important river, and a "magnificent" bay -- Part two. Sea and sky : American debuts in the nineteenth century. Manifest destiny -- A fishy sea -- The wild fish that tamed the coast -- Birds of a feather, shot together -- Part three. Preludes to the future. From bayside to beachside -- Oil and the Texas toe dip -- Oil and the Louisiana plunge -- Islands, shifting sands of time -- Wind and water -- Part four. Saturation and loss : post-1945. The growth coast -- Florida worry, Texas slurry -- Rivers of stuff -- Runoff, and runaway -- Sand in the hourglass -- Losing the edge -- Epilogue : a success story amid so much else. Significant beyond tragic oil spills and hurricanes, the Gulf has historically been one of the world's most bounteous marine environments, supporting human life for millennia. Based on the premise that nature lies at the center of human existence, Davis takes readers on a compelling and, at times, wrenching journey from the Florida Keys to the Texas Rio Grande, along marshy shorelines and majestic estuarine bays, both beautiful and life-giving, though fated to exploitation by esurient oil men and real-estate developers. Davis shares previously untold stories, parading a vast array of historical characters past our view: sports-fishermen, presidents, Hollywood executives, New England fishers, the Tabasco king, a Texas shrimper, and a New York architect who caught the "big one". Sensitive to the imminent effects of climate change, and to the difficult task of rectifying the assaults of recent centuries, this book suggests how a penetrating examination of a single region's history can inform the country's path ahead. --.
910.92 I
Inskeep, Steve, author. Imperfect union : how Jessie and John Fr婉mont mapped the West, invented celebrity, and helped cause the Civil War. Aid me with your influence -- The equal merits of differing peoples -- The current of important events -- Miseries that attend a separation -- I determined to make there a home -- The manifest purpose of providence -- A taste for danger and bold daring adventure -- The Spaniards were somewhat rude and inhospitable -- I am not going to let you write anything but your name -- Do not suppose I lightly interfere in a matter belonging to men -- We pressed onward with fatal resolution -- Jessie Benton Fr婉mont was the better man of the two -- We thought money might come in handy -- All the stupid laurels that ever grew -- Decidedly, this ought to be struck out -- He throws away his heart. "Steve Inskeep tells the riveting story of John and Jessie Fr婉mont, the husband and wife team who in the 1800s were instrumental in the westward expansion of the United States, and thus became America's first great political couple John Fr婉mont grew up amid family tragedy and shame. Born out of wedlock in 1813, he went to work at age thirteen to help support his family in Charleston, South Carolina. He was a nobody. Yet, by the 1840s, he rose to become one of the most acclaimed people of the age -- known as a wilderness explorer, bestselling writer, gallant army officer, and latter-day conquistador, who in 1846 began the United States' takeover of California from Mexico. He was a celebrity who personified the country's westward expansion. Mountains, towns, ships, and streets were named after him. How did he climb so far? A vital factor was his wife, Jessie Benton Fr婉mont, the daughter of a powerful United States senator. Jessie wanted to play roles in politics and exploration, which were then reserved for men. Frustrated, she threw her skill and passion into promoting her husband. Ordered by the US Army to map the Oregon Trail, John traveled thousands of miles on horseback, indifferent to his safety and that of the other members of his expeditions. When he returned home, Jessie helped him to shape dramatic reports of his adventures, which were reprinted in newspapers and bound as popular books. Jessie became his political adviser, and a power player in her own right. In 1856, the famous couple strategized as John became the first-ever presidential nominee of the newly established Republican Party. The party had been founded in opposition to slavery, and though both Fr婉monts were Southerners they became symbols of the cause. With rare detail and in consummate style, Steve Inskeep tells the story of a couple whose joint ambitions and talents intertwined with those of the nascent United States itself. Americans linked the Fr婉monts with not one but three great social movements of the time -- westward settlement, women's rights, and opposition to slavery. Theirs is a surprisingly modern story of ambition and fame; they lived in a time of globalization, technological disruption, and divisive politics that foreshadowed our own. The Fr婉monts' adventures amount to nothing less than a tour of the early American soul"--.
940.54 S
Sledge, E. B. (Eugene Bondurant), 1923-. China marine. Oxford University Paperback, 2003. Tuscaloosa : University of Alabama Press, c2002. China Marine 1 -- Epilogue: I Am Not the Man I Would Have Been 149.
940.54 T
Terkel, Studs, 1912-2008. "The good war" : an oral history of World War Two. New York : New Press, [1997.
943.36 H
Hunt, Irmgard A. (Irmgard Albine), 1934-. On Hitler's mountain : overcoming the legacy of a Nazi childhood. First Harper Perennial edition. 2006. On writing a childhood memoir -- pt. 1. 1906-1934 : the P©Ćhlmanns. Roots of discontent ; In search of a future -- pt. 2. 1934-1939 : Hitler's willing followers. The rituals of life ; "Heil Hitler" ; Ominous undercurrents ; Meeting Hitler ; Gathering clouds -- pt. 3. 1939-1945 : war and surrender. Early sacrifice ; Learning to hate school ; Lessons from a wartime friendship ; A weary interlude in Selb ; Hardship and disintegration ; War comes to Berchtesgaden ; The end at last -- pt. 4. 1945-1948 : Bitter justice, or, Will justice be done? Survival under the Star-spangled Banner ; The curse of the past ; Escape from darkness. The author provides an account of her life growing up in Berchtesgaden, a Bavarian village at the foot of Hitler's mountain retreat, discussing a childhood encounter with the Nazi leader, and shedding light on why ordinary Germans, including her parents, tolerated and even supported the Nazis.
951.04 M
Mitter, Rana, 1969- author. Forgotten ally : China's World War II, 1937-1945. First U.S. Edition. The path to war: As close as lips and teeth : China's fall, Japan's rise ; A new revolution ; The path to confrontation -- Disaster: Thirty-seven days in summer : the outbreak of war ; The battle for Shanghai ; Refugees and resistance ; Massacre at Nanjing ; The battle of Taierzhuang ; The deadly river -- Resisting alone: "A sort of wartime normal" ; Flight into the unknown ; The road to Pearl Harbor -- The poisoned alliance ; Destination Burma ; Hunger in Henan ; States of terror ; Conference at Cairo ; One war, two fronts ; Showdown with Stilwell ; Unexpected victory ; Epilogue: The enduring war. "For decades, a major piece of World War II history has gone virtually unwritten. China was the fourth great ally, partner to the United States, the Soviet Union, and Great Britain, yet its drama of invasion, resistance, slaughter, and political intrigue remains little known in the West. In this emotionally gripping book, made possible through access to newly unsealed Chinese archives, Rana Mitter unfurls the story of China's World War II as never before and rewrites the larger history of the war in the process. He focuses his narrative on three towering leaders -- Chiang Kai-shek, Mao Zedong, and the lesser-known collaborator Wang Jingwei -- and extends the timeline of the war back to 1937, when Japanese and Chinese troops began to clash, fully two years before Hitler invaded Poland. Unparalleled in its research and scope, Forgotten Ally is a sweeping, character-driven history that will be essential reading not only for anyone with an interest in World War II, but also for those seeking to understand today's China, where, as Mitter reveals, the echoes of the war still reverberate"--.
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Takada, Noriko. The Japanese way : aspects of behavior, attitudes, and customs of the Japanese. 2nd ed. Chicago : McGraw-Hill, c2011 . Abbreviations and contractions -- Addresses and street names -- Arts and crafts -- Asking directions -- Bathing and bathhouses -- Body language and gestures -- Borrowed words and acronyms -- Bowing -- Brand names and brand-name goods (burando-hin) -- Business cards (meish) -- Calendar -- Cherry blossoms and flower viewing -- Compliments -- Conversation -- Crime and safety -- Dating and marriage -- Death, funerals, and mourning -- Dialects -- Dining out -- Dinner invitations -- Directness -- Discussion and consensus -- Dress -- Drinking -- Driving -- Earthquakes -- Education -- English-language study -- Family -- The Jag and the national anthem -- Flowers and plants -- Food and eating -- Footwear -- Foreigners -- Gender roles -- Geography -- Gifts -- Government -- Hellos and good-byes -- Holidays and festivals -- Honorific speech (keigo) -- Hotels and inns -- Housing and furnishings -- Humor -- The Imperial family -- Individuals and couples -- Introductions and networking -- Karaoke -- Leisure (rgli) -- Letters, greeting cards, and postal services -- Love and affection -- Lucky and unlucky numbers -- Male/female speech -- Money -- Mt. Fuji -- Music and dance -- Myths, legends, and folklore -- Names, titles, and forms of address -- Numbers and counting -- Oriental medicine -- Pinball (pachinko) -- Politeness and rudeness -- Population -- Privacy -- Reading material -- Religion -- The seasons -- Shopping -- Shrines and temples -- Signatures and seals -- Social structure -- Sports -- Table etiquette -- Telephones -- Television/radio/movies -- Thank-yous and regrets -- Theater -- Time and punctuality -- Tipping and service charges -- Toilets -- Travel within Japan -- Vending machines -- Visiting private homes -- Weights, measures, and sizes -- Working hours -- The written language -- "Yes" and "no" -- "You first" -- Zoological calendar.
972.81 P
Proskouriakoff, Tatiana, 1909-1985. Maya history. First edition. Foreword / Gordon R. Wills -- Tatiana Proskouriakoff, 1909-1985 / Ian Graham -- Introduction / Rosemary A. Joyce -- 1. The Earliest Records: (A.D. 288-337) -- 2. The Arrival of Strangers: (A.D. 337-386) -- 3. The Maya Regain Tikal: (A.D. 386-435) -- 4. Some Ragged Pages: (A.D. 435-485) -- 5. Expansion of the Maya Tradition: (A.D. 485-534) -- 6. A Time of Troubles: (A.D. 534-583) -- 7. Recovery on the Frontiers: (A.D. 583-633) -- 8. Growth and Expansion: (A.D. 633-682) -- 9. Toward a Peak of Prosperity: (A.D. 682-736) -- 10. On the Crest of the Wave: (A.D. 731-780) -- 11. Prelude to Disaster: (A.D. 780-830) -- 12. The Final Years: (A.D. 831-909) -- 13. The Last Survivals: (A.D. 909-938). The ruins of Maya city-states occur throughout the Yucatan peninsula, Guatemala, Belize, and in parts of Honduras and El Salvador. But the people who built these sites remain imperfectly known. Though they covered standing monuments (stelae) and public buildings with hieroglyphic records of their deeds, no Rosetta Stone has yet turned up in Central America to help experts determine the exact meaning of these glyphs. Tatiana Proskouriakoff, a preeminent student of the Maya, made many breakthroughs in deciphering Maya writing, particularly in demonstrating that the glyphs record the deeds of actual human beings. This discovery opened the way for a history of the Maya, a monumental task that Proskouriakoff was engaged in before her death in 1985. Her work, Maya History, has been made ready for press by the able editorship of Rosemary Joyce. Maya History reconstructs the Classic Maya period (roughly A.D. 250-900) from the glyphic record on stelae at numerous sites, including Altar de Sacrificios, Copan, Dos Pilas, Naranjo, Piedras Negras, Quirigua, Tikal, and Yaxchilan. Proskouriakoff traces the spread of governmental institutions from the central Peten, especially from Tikal, to other city-states by conquest and intermarriage. And she also shows how the gradual introduction of foreign elements into Maya art mirrors the entry of outsiders who helped provoke the eventual collapse of the Classic Maya. Fourteen line drawings of monuments and over three hundred original drawings of glyphs amplify the text. Maya History has been long awaited by scholars in the field. It is sure to provoke lively debate and greater understanding of this important area in Mesoamerican studies.
973.04 A
Asian Americans : the movement and the moment. A wide-ranging collection of essays and material which documents the rich, little-known history of Asian American social activism during the years 1965-2001. This book examines the period not only through personal accounts and historical analysis, but through the visual record--utilizing historical prictorial materials developed at UCLA's Asian American Studies Center on Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, and Vietnamese Americans. Included are many reproductions of photos of the period, movement comics, demonstration flyers, newsletters, posters and much more.
973.0496 D
W.E.B. DuBois. The Souls of Black Folk. BIGFONTBOOKS.COM.
973.7 B
Barney, William L. Battleground for the Union : the era of the Civil War and Reconstruction, 1848-1877. Englewood Cliffs, N.J. : Prentice Hall, c1990.
973.9 I
Imani, Blair, author. Making our way home : the Great Migration and the Black American dream. First edition. Separate but equal: Reconstruction-1919 -- Beautiful -- and ugly, too: 1920-1929 -- I, too, am America: 1930-1939 -- Liberty and justice for all: 1940-1949 -- Trouble ahead: 1950-1959 -- The time is in the street, you know: 1960-1969 -- All poer to all the people: 1970-1979. "A powerful illustrated history of the Great Migration and its sweeping impact on Black and American culture, from Reconstruction to the rise of hip hop. Over the course of six decades, an unprecedented wave of Black Americans left the South and spread across the nation in search of a better life--a migration that sparked stunning demographic and cultural changes in twentieth-century America. Through gripping and accessible historical narrative paired with illustrations, author and activist Blair Imani examines the largely overlooked impact of The Great Migration and how it affected--and continues to affect--Black identity and America as a whole. Making Our Way Home explores issues like voting rights, domestic terrorism, discrimination, and segregation alongside the flourishing of arts and culture, activism, and civil rights. Imani shows how these influences shaped America's workforce and wealth distribution by featuring the stories of notable people and events, relevant data, and family histories. The experiences of prominent figures such as James Baldwin, Fannie Lou Hamer, El Hajj Malik El Shabazz (Malcolm X), Ella Baker, and others are woven into the larger historical and cultural narratives of the Great Migration to create a truly singular record of this powerful journey"--.
973.9 L
Longley, Kyle, author. LBJ's 1968 : power, politics, and the presidency in America's year of upheaval. A nation on the brink: the State of the Union Address, January 1968 -- Those dirty bastards, are they trying to embarrass us? The Pueblo Incident, January-December 1968 -- Tet: a very near thing, January-March 1968 -- As a result, I will not seek re-election: the March 31, 1968 speech -- The days the earth stood still: the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., April 1968 -- He hated him, but loved him: the assassination of Robert Kennedy, June 1968 -- The big stumble: the Fortas Affair, June-October 1968 -- The tanks are rolling: Czechoslovakia crushed, August 1968 -- The perfect disaster: the Democratic National Convention, August 1968 -- Is this treason?: the October surprise that wasn't, October-December 1968 -- The last dance, January 1969 -- Conclusion.
974.7 F
Feldman, Deborah, 1986-. Unorthodox : the scandalous rejection of my Hasidic roots. 1st Simon & Schuster trade pbk. ed. 2020. New York : Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2012. Traces the author's upbringing in a Hasidic community in Brooklyn, describing the strict rules that governed her life, arranged marriage at the age of seventeen, and the birth of her son, which led to her plan to leave and forge her own path in life.
975.7 B
Ball, Edward, 1959-. Slaves in the family. Paperback edition. Journalist Ball confronts the legacy of his family's slave-owning past, uncovering the story of the people, both black and white, who lived and worked on the Balls' South Carolina plantations. It is an unprecedented family record that reveals how the painful legacy of slavery continues to endure in America's collective memory and experience. Ball, a descendant of one of the largest slave-owning families in the South, discovered that his ancestors owned 25 plantations, worked by nearly 4,000 slaves. Through meticulous research and by interviewing scattered relatives, Ball contacted some 100,000 African-Americans who are all descendants of Ball slaves. In intimate conversations with them, he garnered information, hard words, and devastating family stories of precisely what it means to be enslaved. He found that the family plantation owners were far from benevolent patriarchs; instead there is a dark history of exploitation, interbreeding, and extreme violence.--From publisher description.
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Ball, Edward, 1959-. The sweet hell inside : a family history. First edition. Preface -- Part 1-The Master and His Orphans-Part 2-High Yellow-Porch 3 -Eyes Sadder Then the Grave-Part 4-Nigger Rich-Part 5-The Orphans Dancers-Part 6-A Trunk in the Grass-Notes-Permission and Photography Credits-Acknowledgments-Index. If. Recounts the lives of the Harleston family of South Carolina, the progeny of a Southern gentleman and his slave who cast off their blemished roots and achieved affluence in part through a surprisingly successful funeral parlor business. Their wealth afforded the Harlestons the comfort of chauffeurs, tailored clothes, and servants whose skin was darker than theirs. It also launched the family into a generation of glory as painters, performers, and photographers in the "high yellow" society of America's colored upper class. The Harlestons' remarkable 100-year journey spans the waning days of Reconstruction, the precious art world of the early 1900s, the back alleys of the Jazz Age, and the dawn of the civil rights movement.--From publisher description.
DVD Gre
The Great debaters. 2-disc collector's edition; Widescreen [ed.]. [New York] : Weinstein Company, c2008. Denzel Washington, Nate Parker, Jurnee Smollett, Denzel Whitaker, Jermaine Williams, Forest Whitaker, Gina Ravera, John Heard, Kimberly Elise, Devyn Tyler, Trenton McClain Boyd. Melvin B. Tolson is a professor at Wiley College in Texas. Wiley is a small African-American college. In 1935, Tolson inspired students to form the school's first debate team. Tolson turns a group of underdog students into a historically elite debate team which goes on to challenge Harvard in the national championship. Inspired by a true story.
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Albertalli, Becky, author. What if it's us. Told in two voices, when Arthur, a summer intern from Georgia, and Ben, a native New Yorker, meet it seems like fate, but after three attempts at dating fail they wonder if the universe is pushing them together or apart.
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Astral Traveler's Daughter. First Simon & Schuster Trade Paperback edition, April 2019. New York, NY : Simon & Schuster, Inc, 2019. "Last year, Teddy Cannon discovered she was psychic. This year, her skills will be put to the test as she investigates a secretive case that will take her far from home--and deep into the past in the thrilling follow-up to School for Psychics"-- Provided by publisher.
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Chiaverini, Jennifer, author. Enchantress of numbers : a novel of Ada Lovelace. "The only legitimate child of Lord Byron, the most brilliant, revered, and scandalous of the Romantic poets, Ada was destined for fame long before her birth. Estranged from Ada's father, who was infamously "mad, bad, and dangerous to know," Ada's mathematician mother is determined to save her only child from her perilous Byron heritage. Banishing fairy tales and make-believe from the nursery, Ada's mother provides her daughter with a rigorous education grounded in mathematics and science. Any troubling spark of imagination--or worse yet, passion or poetry--is promptly extinguished. Or so her mother believes. When Ada is introduced into London society as a highly eligible young heiress, she at last discovers the intellectual and social circles she has craved all her life. Little does she realize that her delightful new friendship with inventor Charles Babbage--brilliant, charming, and occasionally curmudgeonly--will shape her destiny ..."--Jacket.
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Christie, Michael, 1976- author. Greenwood : a novel. First U.S. edition. "It's 2038 and Jake Greenwood is a storyteller and a liar, an overqualified tour guide babysitting ultra-rich vacationers in one of the world's last remaining forests. It's 2008 and Liam Greenwood is a carpenter, fallen from a ladder and sprawled on his broken back, calling out from the concrete floor of an empty mansion. It's 1974 and Willow Greenwood is out of jail, free after being locked up for one of her endless series of environmental protests: attempts at atonement for the sins of her father's once vast and violent timber empire. It's 1934 and Everett Greenwood is alone, as usual, in his maple syrup camp squat when he hears the cries of an abandoned infant and gets tangled up in the web of a crime that will cling to his family for decades. And throughout, there are trees: thrumming a steady, silent pulse beneath Christie's effortless sentences and working as a guiding metaphor for withering, weathering, and survival. A shining, intricate clockwork of a novel, Greenwood is a rain-soaked and sun-dappled story of the bonds and breaking points of money and love, wood and blood--and the hopeful, impossible task of growing toward the light"--.
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Memoirs of Fanny Hill. Published by arrangement with Edito-Service S. A., Geneva, Switzerland. New York, NY : Peebles Press International Inc, 1973.
F Col
Andre's Reboot. Birmingham, AL : Stephen B. Coleman, Publisher, 2019.
F Def
Moll Flanders. Reprint. 2020. Columbia, SC, : August 12, 2020.
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Defoe, Daniel, 1661?-1731. The fortunes and misfortunes of the famous Moll Flanders ... A new edition.
F Fit
Fitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott), 1896-1940, author. The great Gatsby. Foreword to the seventy-fifth anniversary edition: F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby, and the House of Scribner ; Preface / by Matthew J. Bruccoli -- THE GREAT GATSBY -- The text of The Great Gatsby / by Matthew J. Bruccoli -- Publisher's afterword / Charles Scribner III -- FSF : life and career / James L.W. West III. Overview: The mysterious Jay Gatsby embodies the American notion that it is possible to redefine oneself and persuade the world to accept that definition. Gatsby's youthful neighbor, Nick Carraway, fascinated with the display of enormous wealth in which Gatsby revels, finds himself swept up in the lavish lifestyle of Long Island society during the Jazz Age. Considered Fitzgerald's best work, The Great Gatsby is a mystical, timeless story of integrity and cruelty, vision and despair. The timeless story of Jay Gatsby and his love for Daisy Buchanan is widely acknowledged to be the closest thing to the Great American Novel ever written.
F Jam
The Turn of the Screw, the Aspern Papers, and Two Stories. Barnes & Noble Classics, 2003; Intro. and notes by David L. Sweet. New York, NY : Barnes & Noble, 2003.
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Orange, Tommy, 1982- author. There there. First Vintage books edition. Here is a story of several people, each of whom has private reasons for travelling to the Big Oakland Powwow. Jacquie Red Feather is newly sober and trying to make it back to the family she left behind in shame. Dene Oxendene is pulling his life together after his uncle's death and has come to work at the powwow to honour his uncle's memory. Opal Viola Victoria Bear Shield has come to watch her nephew Orvil Red Feather, who has taught himself traditional Indian dance through YouTube videos and has come to the powwow to dance in public for the very first time. There will be glorious communion, and a spectacle of sacred tradition and pageantry. And there will be sacrifice, and heroism, and unspeakable loss.
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Patchett, Ann, author. The Dutch house : a novel. First edition. "Ann Patchett, the New York Times bestselling author of Commonwealth and State of Wonder, returns with her most powerful novel to date: a richly moving story that explores the indelible bond between two siblings, the house of their childhood, and a past that will not let them go"--.
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Roberts, Nora, author. The awakening. First edition. "#1 New York Times bestselling author of the epic Chronicles of The One trilogy returns with the first in a brand new series where parallel worlds clash over the struggle between good and evil"--.
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Rowling, J. K. Harrius Potter et philosophi lapis. Cover illustration first pub. 2015. London : Bloomsbury, 2003, ââ1997. Latin translation, Peter Needham, 2003. Rescued from the outrageous neglect of his aunt and uncle, a young boy with a great destiny proves his worth while attending Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.
F Rus
Russell, Karen, 1981-. Swamplandia! 1st ed (Borzoi Book). New York : Alfred A. Knopf, 2011. Twelve year old Ava must travel into the Underworld part of the swamp in order to save her family's dynasty of Bigtree alligator wresting. This novel takes us to the swamps of the Florida Everglades, and introduces us to Ava Bigtree, an unforgettable young heroine. The Bigtree alligator wrestling dynasty is in decline, and Swamplandia!, their island home and gator wrestling theme park, formerly no. 1 in the region, is swiftly being encroached upon by a fearsome and sophisticated competitor called the World of Darkness. Ava's mother, the park's indomitable headliner, has just died; her sister, Ossie, has fallen in love with a spooky character known as the Dredgeman, who may or may not be an actual ghost; and her brilliant big brother, Kiwi, who dreams of becoming a scholar, has just defected to the World of Darkness in a last ditch effort to keep their family business from going under. Ava's father, affectionately known as Chief Bigtree, is AWOL; and that leaves Ava, a resourceful but terrified thirteen, to manage ninety eight gators as well as her own grief. Against a backdrop of hauntingly fecund plant life animated by ancient lizards and lawless hungers, the author has written a novel about a family's struggle to stay afloat in a world that is inexorably sinking.
F Sha
Shaw, Irwin, 1913-1984. The young lions. Chicago : University of Chicago Press, 2000.
F Tol
The Hobbit. 75th Anniversary. The text of this edition is based on edition published by HarperCollins Publishers in 1995. Bilbo Baggins, a respectable, well-to-do hobbit, lives comfortably in his hobbit-hole until the day the wandering wizard Gandalf chooses him to take part in an adventure from which he may never return.
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Towles, Amor. Rules of civility. A chance encounter with a handsome banker in a jazz bar on New Year's Eve 1938 catapults Wall Street secretary Katey Kontent into the upper echelons of New York society, where she befriends a shy multi-millionaire, an Upper East Side ne'er-do-well, and a single-minded widow.
F Wat
Watson, Ren婉e, author. Piecing me together. Tired of being singled out at her mostly-white private school as someone who needs support, high school junior Jade would rather participate in the school's amazing Study Abroad program than join Women to Women, a mentorship program for at-risk girls. "Acclaimed author Renee Watson offers a powerful story about a girl striving for success in a world that too often seems like it's trying to break her. Jade believes she must get out of her poor neighborhood if she's ever going to succeed. Her mother tells her to take advantage of every opportunity that comes her way. And Jade has: every day she rides the bus away from her friends and to the private school where she feels like an outsider, but where she has plenty of opportunities. But some opportunities she doesn't really welcome, like an invitation to join Women to Women, a mentorship program for "at-risk" girls. Just because her mentor is black and graduated from the same high school doesn't mean she understands where Jade is coming from. She's tired of being singled out as someone who needs help, someone people want to fix. Jade wants to speak, to create, to express her joys and sorrows, her pain and her hope. Maybe there are some things she could show other women about understanding the world and finding ways to be real, to make a difference.".
F Wil
Williams, Katie, 1978- author. Tell the machine goodnight. Pearl's job is to make people happy. Every day, she provides customers with personalized recommendations for greater contentment. She's good at her job, her office manager tells her, successful. But how does one measure an emotion? Meanwhile, there's Pearl's teenage son, Rhett. A sensitive kid who has forged an unconventional path through adolescence, Rhett seems to find greater satisfaction in being unhappy. The very rejection of joy is his own kind of "pursuit of happiness." As his mother, Pearl wants nothing more than to help Rhett--but is it for his sake or for hers? Certainly it would make Pearl happier. Regardless, her son is one person whose emotional life does not fall under the parameters of her job--not as happiness technician, and not as mother, either.-Amazon.
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The Daniel Defoe Collection : The Life and strange surprising adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner; The farther adventures of Robinson Crusoe; A journal of the plague year; Moll Flanders. South Carolina, USA, : August 2020.
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Link, Kelly, author. Get in trouble : stories. Random House trade paperback edition. The summer people -- I can see right through you -- Secret identity -- Valley of the girls -- Origin story -- The lesson -- The new boyfriend -- Two houses -- Light. A collection of short stories features tales of a young girl who plays caretaker to mysterious guests at the cottage behind her house and a former teen idol who becomes involved in a bizarre reality show.
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Packer, ZZ. Drinking coffee elsewhere. 1st Riverhead trade pbk. ed. New York : Riverhead Books, 2004, ââ2003. Brownies -- Every tongue shall confess -- Our Lady of Peace -- The ant of the self -- Drinking coffee elsewhere -- Speaking in tongues -- Geese -- Doris is coming. Discovered by The New Yorker, Packer "forms a constellation of young black experience"* whether she's writing from the perspective of a church-going black woman who has a crisis in faith, a young college student at Yale, or a young black man unwillingly accompanying his father to the Million Man March. This universally appealing collection of short fiction has already established ZZ Packer as "a writer to watch.".
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Sedaris, David, author. Calypso. First edition. When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, David Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself. Sedaris sets his powers of observation toward middle age and mortality, that vertiginous moment when your own body betrays you and you realize that the story of your life is made up of more past than future.
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Sedaris, David, author. Let's explore diabetes with owls. First Back Bay paperback edition, June 2014. From the perils of French dentistry to the eating habits of the Australian kookaburra, from the squat-style toilets of Beijing to the particular wilderness of a North Carolina Costco, we learn about the absurdity and delight of a curious traveler's experiences. Whether railing against the habits of litterers in the English countryside or marveling over a disembodied human arm in a taxidermist's shop, Sedaris takes us on side-splitting adventures that are not to be forgotten.
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   This post is mostly an explanation for why Kate (who I headcanon as a pacifist) sometimes breaks her commitment to non-violence. The most important premise to know going in is that Kate will always choose her loved ones over her morality. Thatâs not to say this is in any way an easy or guilt-free decision for her, or that she actively seeks those situations out. A fundamental part of my interpretation of her character is self-sacrifice. She was raised in a religion where sacrifice is not only exalted, but expected. This attitude was reinforced at home, with her taking up the responsibilities of protector and guardian for her younger siblings in lieu of her abusive/neglectful parents. Both her mother and father were unwilling to sacrifice for their children, so that duty fell to Kate. Thus, Kate acquiescing to hypocrisy for the sake of her loved ones is part of her self-sacrifice.    Should this kind of self-sacrifice be considered admirable and worthy of emulation? No. But it is a fundamental part of her character.    With that out of the way, letâs dive in.
   One of these days (when I finally have a better grasp of c.hristian pacifism) Iâll do a detailed write-up of the roots of Kateâs commitment to non-violence. What I can say is that her pacifism has its limits, and there are two major factors that force her to betray her own beliefs. One is the need to protect her loved ones, and the other is base instinct that overrules any rational decision on her part. The former can include fighting for her own life; not because she values herself but that she fears what may happen to Lynn and Emily if they are left alone with their abusive mother. Although using violence in self-defense is not something that Kate is able to reconcile with even in extenuating circumstances. Pacifism is deeply intertwined with her faith, and the last thing Kate wants to do is to take the L.ordâs name in vain for her own personal benefit like her mother.    There are only a few verses where Kate is either prepared to or regularly uses physical force: her Post!Storm verse and her S.tranger T.hings verse. Post!Storm verse, Kate is so deeply affected by her trauma from childhood abuse and the d.ark r.oom that she fears Jefferson will come after her again, which would put Lynnâboth a child and Kateâs only surviving familyâin the crosshairs. Thankfully, Kate never has to use the knife she keeps under her pillow to defend her family, but her hypervigilance nevertheless drives her to be prepared to use violence. Whether or not she is actually capable of following through is uncertain. However, keeping a weapon nearby makes Kate feel protected and in control. Is it an unhealthy coping mechanism? Yes, although Kate isnât willing to work towards giving it up yet, despite considerable anxiety over her hypocrisy.    Kateâs S.tranger T.hings verse is a different beast altogether due to the nature of the threat. The otherworldly creaturesâ sheer brutality and seeming lack of remorse is what prompts Kate to seriously rethink her commitment to non-violence. She ends up turning towards A.quinas and (much to her chagrin) A.ugustine for answers, though she comes away unsatisfied with both explanations. While Kate ultimately resolves to defend her family and friends, vacillating between long stretches of peace and short bursts of life-or-death fights is physically and emotionally taxing on her. Kate at the close of season 3 is so overwhelmed by the violence that she seriously considers leaving Hawkins altogether. Sustained conflict in any verse is just not something that Kate desires or is psychologically prepared to handle, and S.tranger T.hings pushes the limit of how much trauma Kate can handle. To conclude: Kateâs not above breaking her code to keep her loved ones alive, but please.............donât push the bean.
#[[ anyways i'm not fond of doing violence-driven plots for I.C reasons but also. need 2 talk abt kate's relaysh/feelings to violence ]]#[[ editing? never heard of her ]]#;;selling faith on the go tell crusade#tw violence#tw trauma#tw neglect#tw abuse#tw spiritual abuse#;;touching at a distance#;;after the storm verse
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Your writing is sooo good! :o have been following you for a short while now and you do the requests so perfectly! Was wondering if it would be possible to get some family related headcanons for the blade breakers? Like your thoughts on how they interact with their families? Also congrats on the new job role! :)
Mod Note: Thank you so much, bby! I hope youâre doing well and are having an amazing start to your new year. :)
TYSON: Tyson has a very interesting relationship and take on his family. First things first, we have to acknowledge how his father and brother essentially left him behind and forced his grandfather to raise him. These are the ugly facts, but Tyson kind ofâŠpushes that out of his mind. I imagine, in an attempt to cope with this abandonment, he decided to appropriate the narrative that he was exposed to. In other words, he told himself that sometimes people need to leave others behind if theyâre going to achieve their dreams - but he always told himself that theyâd come back, because⊠why wouldnât they? Heâs tried to convince himself that all of these things happened for a reason. Although Tyson attempts to be optimistic about his situation and claims it doesnât affect him negatively, he has become rather clingy and takes people leaving him rather personally. He loves his grandfather and although Tyson travels a lot, he greatly encourages his grandfather to come see just about every match heâs in. And grandpa does just that⊠He goes to every match, watches it on TV, and thinks about his grandson often. He really worries about him. And although he loves his own son and Hiro unconditionally, he doesnât want Tyson to pick up on the same habits as them.
When Tyson sees Hiro again, heâs elated in such a way that weâve never seen before. We donât see that much emotion when his own team comes back together. I think Tyson has always known that his friends would come back to him, but when it comes to family⊠He was probably deeply terrified that heâd never see them again. He holds Hiro to such a high standard and once saw him as someone who could do no wrong. After all, he returned to help him train and become world champion, right? Well⊠Hiro has some questionable ways of pushing Tyson. As an outsider, their interactions arenât that healthy and are borderline manipulative. Tyson slowly begins to see this, but doesnât allow himself to really showcase his disappointment. However, it does motivate him to become a better person and to not let his own team down. Think about it. Throughout G-Rev, we see Tysonâs selfishness and how heâs constantly trying to improve. And then Hiro comes along and is basically doing whatever he wants at Tysonâs expense. Tyson gets to see, first hand, just how much his own actions deeply hurt others. He doesnât want to be like his brother anymore, or probably his own dad. Heâs more likely to keep his grandfather close (even closer now, after all the bullshit) and see his own friends as family members.
MAX: In the manga, you really see just how much Max loves and misses his mom. He gets defensive about her picture, and often locks himself in his room to reflect upon his memories of her. You can tell itâs still a fresh wound and not one that he simply internalizes like Tyson. The sad truth is, she kinda left him behind as well to do her own thing. Additionally, she essentially formed a brand new team that consisted of children whoâs only goal was to meet her expectations. Upon seeing this, Max honestly felt like he had to compete for his own mothers attention and approval, despite being her blood. Instead of being devastated by this blatant act of being replaced, Max actually continues to strive for her approval. He truly sees her as someone who can do no wrong and he probably interprets her actions as her motivating him to become stronger. Itâs not that Judy doesnât like her son⊠Rather, I think sheâs so wrapped up in her work that sheâs literally forgotten how to raise a child. Alternatively, maybe she just wasnât ready, maybe she never knew how, maybe she placed that burden on Maxâs dad because she was making good money for them. Regardless, something happened to make her so distant from her own child. Sheâs honestly surprised to see how persistent Max is for her affection.Â
I do imagine that it does impact her. I do think she loves him, but has a very strange and arguably cold way of showing it. However, Max is literally sunshine incarnate. He refuses to see her as something to hate and is extremely grateful for what sheâs been able to do for him. Maxâs father is also seen in a positive light. In truth, Max is so amazed by how hard his dad worked to raise him, put food on the table, support his hobby, and help him travel. Thereâs no denying the amount of love Max has for his own dad, but I think he clings to his mom so much, because he just wants there to be both. He doesnât want one parent working more or harder than the other. He just craves a sense of stability where everyone is justâŠhappy and here and eating at the same table without worrying about research or making deadlines. Although he gets along great with both folks, itâs evident that the dynamic does take a toll on him, but he thinks he has to keep smiling in order for everything to seem like its really okay.
RAY: We donât know that much about his family, except for the uncle in France. However, we do know that he spent much of his childhood with his friends moreso than any blood relatives. I imagine Ray didnât have much of a connection with his family. As a child, heâs somewhat of a wild one. He often goes where he pleases, does what he pleases, and most likely sneaks out just to see his friends for a little longer. Perhaps his parents just werenât there, or maybe they didnât approve of his newfound fascination for blading. When we find out that Ray left the White Tigers, we have to realize that this also means he left his entire village behind too (including his own home and family). And it wasâŠrelatively easy. I imagine he suspected heâd come across his team again, but he probably wasnât too concerned with what his family thought. They probably thought he was reckless or maybe didnât apply the same amount of significance to Driger. Iâm not trying to imply that his family didnât love him; rather, I think their ideas of success and genuine goals just clashed. Rayâs family most likely came to peace with his departure as years progressed. Theyâre probably mindful of his success, but do their best not to speak of it. Perhaps its out of embarrassment (like, they feel ashamed for not having more faith) or maybe they just donât want to think about their son leaving them.
When Ray returns, I imagine the reunion is rather intense. Although his friends are the first to greet him, I suspect he came across his parents during the evening. They exchange moments of silence, but I envision his mother breaking down and wrapping her arms around Ray out of relief. This is probably one of the first times that his parents were vulnerable around him. Ray doesnât really know how to feel, but he returns the hug anyway. A weight practically leaves him when they have this moment. Like they finally get it, like he doesnât have to explain himself. I imagine theyâre working on restoring a sense of normalcy amongst one another, but Rayâs actually really excited about having even more supportive forces in his life.
KAI: Kai actuallyâŠreally fucking loves his family. Iâve only ever seen him smile when he was around them. Granted, there is a rather complicated and traumatic past concerning the relatives in his life. Kai wants nothing to do with his grandfather, although he appreciates the expensive opportunities and power that he gave him. Despite these âgifts,â Kai just wants to take everything from Voltaire, replace him, and show him how better off he is without his manipulative meddling. Kai is also in the process of rebuilding his connection with his father and seeing him in a better light. For so long, Kai thought that his father chose his dream over him, but this became another manipulated narrative spun by his own grandfather. Later on, Kai realized that his father just didnât want to be like Voltaire and chose to follow his own path, which he hoped Kai would eventually do as well. Kai realizes the genuine intentions his father had and how he also wanted the best for him (and not just a bunch of random kids).Â
When it comes to his mother, I imagine Kai is extremely close with her. She was really trying her best to keep things stable in the house and give Kai the love he so desperately needed. I see him rejecting her efforts at first. He was probably worried that sheâd leave him too. But she probably spent so many sleepless nights waiting up for him when heâd sneak out and making sure he had enough to eat. There were many times when she thought heâd never come home. She practically sunk to the floor with relief every time she cracked his bedroom door open and saw him there sleeping. Now that his family is back together and his life isnât based off a series of lies, Kai actually looks forward to coming home. Heâs rather quiet and actually avoids his parents gaze, especially at the dinner table. Itâs when heâs with family that he realizes just how much crazy shit heâs done or gotten into - so he feels ashamed. His parents only look at him with complete pride and admiration. I imagine they hug him so tightly the moment he walks through the door and heâs got to fight back so many tears because damn⊠He feels the love and attention heïżœïżœïżœs been so desperately craving.
#beyblade#beyblade imagine#headcanon#bladebreakers#tyson granger#max mizuhara#max tate#ray kon#rei kon#kai hiwatari#Anonymous
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How To Build Your Self Esteem
step away from the affirmations
âTo be healthy, functioning individuals, we need to feel good about ourselves. To feel good about ourselves, we need to feel that our time and energy is spent meaningfully. Meaning is the fuel of our minds. When you run out of it, everything else stops working.â
Most of us struggle with self esteem. Many of us are fortunate enough to realize this, and some of us care enough to try to fix it.
The problem, however, is with the majority of the resources available to us â especially online. I am pretty sure these articles are 100% written by people who have serious self esteem issues, regurgitated from everyone else who has self esteem issues, on down the cycle to readers with self esteem issues, who think itâs just their fault for not being able to apply them and successfully boost their self esteem.
But of course not. Because none of this is how self esteem works.
First, letâs talk about what self esteem ISNâT:
Self esteem is not selfishness or narcissism
Having to say this makes me impatient, because if people donât innately âget it,â they fight it blindly, emotionally, tooth and nail. And I understand, because there are a lot of emotions on the line here (see: entire post) so Iâm just going to tread lightly and quickly when I say:
Self love and self esteem are not selfishness.
On the contrary, selfish people have desperately low self esteem and self love, which is why they overcompensate, demand, and have nothing left to give others.
Self esteem is not a series of âdontâsâ
Most self esteem articles cheerily suggest things like, âDonât have the negative self talk. Donât compare yourself to others. Donât put yourself down. Donât doubt yourself,â like âjust donât have low self-esteem!â
These arenât solutions.
The brain struggles with the word âdonât,â and when you focus on the negative, youâre still focusing on the thing. The brain interprets the sentence as an imperative, like: âah, okay, negative self talk. Got it!â The brain is baby Groot.
The way we talk to ourself is a reflection of self esteem, not the root. Itâs effect, not cause. It helps, of course, but itâs not the core. And fixing the core will fix the way we think and talk about ourselves.
Nature abhors a vacuum. If you donât have something positive at the ready, the old stuff will just rush back in.
Self esteem does not come from others
Itâs not anyoneâs job to make you feel good about yourself. It can only come from you.
Some articles suggest that readers should âlearn to accept complimentsâ â several even went so far as to suggest that you approach others and âask them what they like about you.â
Trying to build self esteem through âothersâ complimentsâ is like trying to learn how to walk by being carried.
Only you control of your self-acceptance and self-love.
Self esteem is not in âself helpâ
This is just an extension of the above.
Self help reinforces perceptions of inferiority and shame. It plays on insecurities and fabricates solutions that donât serve real needs. It encourages avoidance.
Itâs like how MayoClinic convinces us weâre dying more than it actually, directly remedies health problems. Engaging will eventually make us absorb all these negatives. We are not more powerful than what we give attention.
Self help just replaces one external influence for another. Weâre still grasping for some authority figure, some omnipotent voice, to tell us what to do.
This of course includes this very post. Which is ironic, but at least honest and warm-hearted, because I wrote this only after doing tons of similar reading myself, and I write hoping we all resolve this.
Self help will never help
When I was getting my business off the ground, in the 3 dark months of âwhite noiseâ after quitting my job but before getting my first customer, isolated and running mostly on âfaithâ alone, someone asked me, âwhat kind of music do you listen to during the day?â I told them, âon good days, upbeat music. On bad days, chill music. And I know itâs an ugly day when I resort to motivational videos on YouTube.â
Those videos got me nowhere â except maybe through the day.
You want to know what finally kicked my self esteem back into gear? When I started making sales. Once that happened, I never watched another motivational, âself-helpâ video.
Self esteem is not about âpamperingâ
My god, if we could all stop with the âindulgencesâ and âlittle day to day pleasures;â if only we could stop thinking âself loveâ is about âtreating ourselves,â or âscheduling time every day for fun and relaxation.â
Heidi Priebe said it best,
âReal self-love isnât about âtreating yourselfâ⊠because real self-love is less about babying yourself and more about parenting yourself.â
Good parents donât indulge children with candy each time they cry. Good parents support, teach coping mechanisms, and gently encourage growth.
This is what loving ourselves means as well. Itâs not about daily indulgences. Itâs identifying and pursuing our longterm values.
Self esteem is not about affirmations
Fuck writing down all your best qualities.
I donât know who came up with this terrible advice, but itâs pretty much useless. Consider, for a moment, the most genuinely confident person you know â do they sit down every day and write down their best qualities? Maybe they do, but I doubt it.
Confident people donât do this. And people donât magically become confident doing it. Only self-doubting people get stuck in this compulsive loop.
Self love is not about affirmations.
As Heidi Priebe wrote,
âClaiming to love yourself and actually doing the hard work of loving yourself are not the same thing⊠You can repeat a thousand affirmations an hour, write a limitless number of blog posts about how youâre worthy of love and stick millions of post-it notes reminding yourself how awesome you are on every mirror in your house, but that only gets you 10% of the way to self-love.â
Except itâs more like 0%.
The real solution is: agency, awareness, authenticity, and action.
What self esteem IS:
Step 1.) Self esteem is agency
Self love is taking responsibility.
So many terrible articles encourage readers to keep self esteem at the mercy of external forces, prompting them to âthink about what is affecting your self-esteem,â and suggesting âyour confidence may have been lowered after a difficult experience or series of negative life event, such as: being bullied or abused, losing your job or difficulty finding employment, ongoing stress physical illness, mental health problems, a difficult relationship, separation or divorce.â
No. To this entire list: no.
Iâm not saying that bad shit didnât happen to you â it probably did. Because bad things happens to everyone. But life isnât about playing the victim, or comparing notes on who suffered most. Life has negatives in the cards for everyone â even the most confident people you know â and the only difference between those with self esteem and those without it is that the first group chose to take responsibility for their lives, their responses, and their actions.
So when it comes to thinking about âwhat is affecting your self-esteem,â the answer is always âyou.â
You are in control of your self esteem. Thatâs the entire list, beginning to end.
you are in charge. you are in charge. you. are. in. charge.
Step 2.) Self esteem is awareness
This is super important, and we donât talk about it enough.
Get out of your damn head. Be present.
Stop slipping away. Stop shutting down. Stop freezing and falling silent any time youâre uncomfortable, or unsure, or anxious. Stop reminiscing on the past, or thinking about the future, or wandering around, mentally, anywhere that you actually arenât.
I wrote pretty openly about struggling with this myself, and the fact that Iâm currently working on it, so I speak from a place of empathy and love.
We do this is because weâve learned that âshutting downâ offers security â itâs âeasierâ if we donât engage; we think thereâs less risk.
But what we give up in exchange every time we do this is moments of our own lives. Which is why, in those brief moments we pull our head out of the sand, weâre filled with panic to realize we donât like what weâre living. But then most of us respond by seeking reassurance (see âself help,â above â âyou can do it!â) or solutions we donât take, and ultimately shut it back down.
The first step? Awareness of your breathing. Second, awareness of your body in space; what youâre physically feeling. From there, youâll become more aware of what youâre emotionally feeling as well. Accept these emotions as they come to you.
Wake up. Be aware of what youâre doing and where you are all the time. And most importantly: be aware of what you feel and think about itâŠ
Step 3.) Self esteem is authenticity
Itâs knowing what we actually want.
This is probably the hardest part. Itâs also really important.
Because ânature abhors a vacuum,â if self esteem isnât coming from external sources, but us instead, then we have to do the work of identifying what wewant and need â in that vacuum, without regard to others. (Note: just like the âselfishâ section, that is not meant to read as âwithout regard for others.â We should still be considerate. But able to say what we want (or think or feel or need) without having to first ask, âwell but what do others want?â)
Self esteem is answering âwhat do I think?â without first asking âwhat do others think?â This is harder than people realize, especially because itâs so ingrained.
I was recently thinking about what I wanted to do for Valentineâs Day, and initially could not answer this questionâ did I really want to go to dinner, or did I just like the way that sounded? Did I really want flowers, or did I just hope theyâd serve as some security; some certainty that this was special? Did I really even want to do anything? Sometimes we do things we donât evenreally want, but doing what âsounds goodâ saves us the risk of regretting having not done something come the morning of the 15th.
(In the end, what I wanted was a cookie from our favorite local bakery. We go together all the time and they put out these seasonal designs that are so adorable I could die. And then, like a good partner, I said in clear words that thatâs what I wanted.)
We do this with everything. We pick where to travel, what to buy, and where to eat based on other people â our order at restaurants is influenced by othersâ, and we eat more in the presence of people weâre trying to impress. We often choose clothing, cars, houses, and hobbies couched in âwhat others think.â And sadly, we often even choose jobs and partners this way.
Sometimes weâre asked: âWhat would you do if you could not fail?â
And thatâs great, but an equally great question is: âWhat would you do if you could not tell or be told by anyone?â
Would you get married if you had to go on telling people you werenât? Would you drive the same car if nobody saw? Would you do the same thing on your weekends if you couldnât frame it up as âhow it retells on Monday morning?â Would you vacation in the same places if nobody knew?
Would you still be doing the same job and have the same partner if you had to tell people you had a totally different job and partner, both of which they deemed âunimpressive?â
What do you want? Not just in the moment, but in the long-run. What areyour values? What is your version of long-term happiness?
If thatâs too hard or scary to speculate: start with a chunk of lifestyle now. Not your leisure time, but your actual life. When, for example, are you happiest at work? If your answer has anything to do with others (i.e., âwhen I get recognition,â âwhen I get a raise,â âwhen I win a deal,â or âwhen I help others,â you need to look again, for answers that serve you.) Maybe you donât even like your work. Thatâs for you to explore.
If youâre struggling here and you just want more âhelpâ on âhow to do it:â you are missing the point entirely (and probably also missing the alarm bell that should be going off in your head.) This work fundamentally cannot be done by anyone else. This work is you. Do the work.
If you are so far gone that you still feel lost knowing what you want onany level: you skipped self awareness. Youâre not paying attention. See âstep 2â for further instruction.
Skipping this step is why âjust do it!â doesnât help
Our struggle (and reluctance) to find answers is why âadviceâ like âjust do it!â or âjust try things and see what you likeâ is met with apprehension at best, and disaster at worst. (If you arenât in touch with what you actually want, and what your happiness feels like, thereâs no way of even knowing if you like what youâre trying, and without this skill set, youâll just keep falling back on âbut it sounds coolâ or âitâs what people do.â)
You canât know what you love if you donât know what love feels like, and youâre so out of touch with your own feelings you donât know what it is.
We have to actually know who the hell we are, and what we want. Experimenting and taking action is second-grade reading level and weâre still learning letters over here.
Step 4.) Self esteem is action
Only once you understand what you want â what really makes you happy â in the long run.
Action is about making decisions. Itâs about committing. Itâs about choice and assertiveness and asking for the things we want and need. Itâs about taking steps, and thinking, and coming to our conclusions â and then verbalizing them.
Itâs also about being aware. Itâs about being alert and awake and active in our own lives â not passive, compliant, or submissive.
As Nathaniel Branden wrote in âHow to Raise Your Self Esteem,â
âLiving consciously means taking responsibility for the awareness appropriate to the action in which we are engaged. This, above all, is the foundation of self confidence and self-respect.â
Or, to be slightly more clear,
âThe difference between low self-esteem and high self-esteem is the difference between passivity and action.â
But knowing what action to take requires knowing what we want, outside of what others want â i.e., authenticity â which requires that we take full responsibility for our lives. Which requires that we dump all of the bad assumptions and models around self love, take agency in-house, and start to build self-fueling fire of our own desire.
About The Author:
Kris Gage
Motorcyclist, Software Manager, Drink-Slinger of the South đ»Â
Reach out: http://bit.ly/2CXgcv5
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Mother!
Sheer cinematic insanity, Darren Aronofsky's Mother! is oddly reminiscent of Mike Nicholsâ The Graduate. Renowned for its ability to make the audience feeling the claustrophobia experienced by Benjamin Braddock as his parents and their friends suffocate him following his college graduation, The Graduate seems to actually be a rather important influence on the style of Mother!. Nichols' tight camera work and the chaos of the scene with a home filled with strangers who all want a piece of Ben and just a bit of his time to ask what he plans for the future, brilliantly communicates the way in which Benjamin's mind is both literally and figuratively surrounded against its will. While Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby is certainly also an influence, the style of the camera and the grainy camera work as Mother (Jennifer Lawrence) wades through her home that is filled with strangers who are either killing one another or stealing brings about more similarities in execution to The Graduate, whereas the substance is deeply reminiscent of Rosemary's Baby. Marrying these two together to create an entirely terrifying, chilling, and unsettling experience, Aronofsky creates a film with a suffocating atmosphere that is impossible to truly enjoy, but is equally challenging to not come away thinking about..
Unraveling in a hallucinogenic and dream-like manner, Mother!'s insanity is what has made it so divisive with Aronofsky running into the night screaming like a mad man by throwing every cinematic taboo at the wall to see what sticks. While trying to rile people up a bit by depicting such horrific violence, Aronofsky introduces a lot of themes and ideas in the film that span from religion to art to the environment and more. Ambitious, bold, and often uncomfortable to sit through, Mother! is the kind of film that seemingly very few filmmakers are willing or able to make in today's age, but with the surrealist edge of a David Lynch in his back pocket, Aronofsky is able to make it work. A film that encourages study and is not as overt as many have argued - as that is just the second layer on the onion - mother! is the kind of daring cinema that is from a bygone era of filmmaking.
There are a multitude of explanations that can be used to decipher this puzzle of a film. The first is likely the most prominent and also the one that fits the most given the events of the film. This is the predominant Biblical explanation. With Jennifer Lawrence portraying Mother Earth, who gives life, love, and feeling to the world and expects nothing in return but the same feeling in return. Javier Bardem portrays God, who creates life in his study and gives meaning to the world through his poetry with references to Him having finished a book (Old Testament) prior to the start of the film with another (New Testament) coming out during the film. Creating life and welcoming it into his home - which is quite literally mother given how the home has a heartbeat and a pulse, with a similar looking heart to mother's - Adam (Ed Harris) and Eve (Michelle Pfeiffer) are the first harbingers of what is to come from humanity. Breaking what it not theirs, having sex on the couch, and otherwise being unwelcomed guests, they make themselves right at home with no intentions to leave. When their sons, Cain and Abel (Domhnall and Brian Gleeson) arrive with the eldest son killing his young brother over their father's will (greed), it is clear that things will only continue to spiral out of control. For mother, she takes the murder in her home personally with blood spilled on her dirt, seeping in her mind and inner being, deeply affecting her in a way that it seems nobody else seems to understand. As God releases the New Testament and his followers flock about to meet Him, the film takes a darker turn due to humanity.
Forgiving, loving, and welcoming everybody into his home, God encourages all of the followers to take whatever they want from His home, as it belongs to them as well as God has given humanity the world and all of its fruits. Unfortunately, people take this free-will and destiny too far, creating hellish violence (Kristen Wiig shooting people in the head), lack of faith (stealing from God's home to prove they were there), enslaving one another (the women in the bedroom), and horrific depictions of rage (fighting), anger, and contempt for one another. Humanity is given just a little bit, takes all of it and more, and then fights one another to ensure they are able to take what others have as well. In seeing this God, is horrified. Yet, he forgives them because he loves them. Thus, when mother gives birth to his son (Jesus), God gives him to the people because, in the end, he is their savior. He represents their chance to be good, free of sin, and saved in spite of their imperfection. However, the humans quickly take him, kill him, and then consume his flesh (Catholic ritual). Once more, they are forgiven with God willing to start again and give humanity another chance to prove themselves worthy of His love and generosity.
This rather upfront depiction is accompanied by small details - the Eden-like setting of the home, mother mentioning the "apocalypse" caused in the kitchen by their house guests, a frog hopping out of the basement passage way as a hint about plagues, and Bardem consistently calling himself a "creator" with his poem being visualized as bringing brimming green life to the world - that solidify the Biblical interpretation of this film as being one that most closely lines up with the actions of the film. Though a heightened, absurd, darkly comical, and hyper-stylized take on the Bible, Aronofsky's tale of blood, rage, and fire, is one etched in the pages of the Bible and brought to terrifying life by a filmmaker who wishes to show the truly horrifying actions of humanity. For both God and mother, they give so much only to see the humans take it all and demand more. They love the people, but are rejected repeatedly. To Aronofsky, God is a loving and forgiving in the face of the sheer insanity of the people that he gave everything to and was willing to give more. By the end, Aronofsky asks the filmmaker whether life is truly worth creating or if humans will simply continuously screw it up with our inherently sinful ways. With God having created life many times before - mother, in the film, is shown to have arisen at least three separate times with the first two ending in fire - it is clear that people have yet to understand that the world is horrifying and violent because of us and our bastardization of God's creation, not because of the forgiving God who created us in the first place. Though an atheist, it is clear that Aronofsky views God as not the one to blame for the world in which we find ourselves in with so much hatred and animosity, but humanity is to blame for taking such tranquil beauty and lighting it on fire with our own lighter (Ed Harris' lighter is used to light the fire) and our own blood (the blood in the barrel). In essence, people do not listen - see Michelle Pfeiffer grab a hot pan that mother just touched and burned herself on as well - and how is it the fault of God that humanity refuses to be taught and learn? Instead, all it does is burn, hate, and kill, spitting in the face of its creator for giving them free-will.
However, this Biblical angle is just part of the film. Him/God is nonetheless a creator or an artist/poet. For Him, creation takes up much of his time as he tries in vain to write another book only to quickly get inspiration and pump up his new book in no time at all. He is a creator, thus he creates. Unfortunately for Him, his work becomes incredibly popular to the degree that his work is worshiped and he is championed as a God-like figure to the people who read and love his work. Though Aronofsky plays up the God angle, he manages to show the struggle of the artist. He wants to be successful, but once he becomes successful, things take a turn for the worst. People show up out of the blue to kiss the ring, fans demand a follow-up putting added stress on Him, and once he does follow it up, he realizes that this second book is hardly enough to satisfy the desire of his fan base. Instead, he must cope with the fan base wanting more and taking everything he has to offer, all while misunderstanding and bastardizing his work in the process. For artists, the experience of sending their work (the baby) into the world, hoping that the public will accept and love what you have created is an experience that often ends in a similar fashion to how it does in Mother!. It is from here that Aronofsky blends this theme with the Biblical rhetoric to answer critics of his prior film, Noah.
A lightning rod for controversy due to his depiction of the story of Noah, Aronofsky's film was banned in many Muslim nations and many Christian writers blasted it with the religious community even citing it as the, "the least-biblical biblical film ever made." Shortly after Noah came out, Aronofsky was set to make a children's film only to then pump out the script for Mother! in five days. Given the short turnaround and the major change in focus for Aronofsky, it is clear that Mother! is a film he was greatly inspired to make. Fashioned as a response to those who critiqued his depiction of Biblical stories in the last film, Aronofsky aims to avoid any misunderstanding. Not only are the stories of God constantly altered and misunderstood by those who profess to believe in Him, but to find issue in specific events depicted in the film or the characterization of God as violent is to miss the point of even the Bible itself and the process of creation. As an artist, liberties are often taken to tell a better story. These stories are not set in stone, nor is the story of Noah one that is solely Biblical. Rather, it can be altered to communicate the vision and message that the director wishes to communicate. However, to find issue with the portrayal of God is to simply miss the point of the Bible. It is a violent book, yet is often shown as being a book of inspiration and hope. While both are certainly true, the former is often forgotten by believers in favor of the latter. This was demonstrated by critics of Noah who argued that God was shown as being an angry and cruel God. In Mother!, Aronofsky shows a God who has thrown out the violent ways of the Old Testament in favor of a more forgiving nature in the New Testament. Locking up plagues he unleashed on the world in a sealed off storage space in the basement, he forgives every intrusion and sin committed in mother!, no matter how egregious. And how is he repaid? In violence, of course. Mother! shows the anger and cruelty of humanity. We see Cain and Abel fight, ending in blood being spilled. We see the believers rejoice and reject Jesus with horrifying gore. We see Adam and Eve sleep with one another, with Eve offering tips on seduction before seducing her husband later on. People doubt he will return and express surprise when he has not âforsakenâ them (reminiscent of the doubt expressed in Exodus as the Hebrews spend 40-years in the desert, see Moses split the Red Sea, and yet still doubt). Humanity is the violent one who does not believe fully in God. Yet, he loves them and forgives them no matter what. To view God in Noah or even the Old Testament as a violent or evil being is to miss the point. It is humanity who has erred leading to its being wiped out, not God for giving them the world and having his gift refused in favor of blood, lust, and sin. Humanity is the one who takes this gift of life, spits on it, and throws it back into the face of God and assume they will not be rebuked for their heinous behavior. Yet, having realized that critics of Noah could not see this - due to their own blindness to the more violent tendencies of God - Aronofsky decided to switch his approach. Rather than passively showing the violence of humanity as in Noah, he brought it to the forefront in mother!, showcasing the horrifying behavior of people and the spiteful attitude to their creator.
Thus, in mother!, Aronofsky wishes to show that humanity is the one who receives the God they deserve, which is a violent one as in the Old Testament. To him, it is clear that any violence committed by God is deserved by this violent and wicked creation he brought forth. At worst, he wishes to show Him as a bit delusional for believing that, at their core, people are good. As Bardem's Him constantly forgives the guests in spite of Mother's panicked pleas to kick them out, the audience is left befuddled. How can he continue to forgive these people after everything they have done? Thus, Aronofsky's depiction of God's grace and forgiveness to a fault is one that scorns humanity, not God. If anybody is the antagonist in this film, it is humanity and the same goes for Noah. It is violence that begets violence, thus a violent people begets a violent God. For the world of the film, it is humanity who has brought violence and destruction to this home (mother/Mother Earth). God, meanwhile, is just the welcoming host who is willing to go the extra mile to ensure their comfort at all times. It is in this sympathetic portrayal that Aronofsky responds to his critics. Having previously shown humanity responding to the challenges of God and being wiped out, Aronofsky now - effectively - shows what led up to these events. We see the horror and feel the pain experienced by God and the Earth and, in experiencing this first-hand in mother!, we gain sympathy for his rage and anger towards humanity that would demand a full-scale restart of the world as in Noah, while simultaneously wondering why he would not do the same again to save the Earth now. In the end, it is not an act of evil, but rather an act of love and the hope that, if given another chance, humanity will be able to love and not express hate, greed, rage, lust, or pride. He is not an evil God, but rather one whose love and willingness to forgive is such that He is willing to overlook the horrors of humanity. To Aronofsky, it is not a matter of God being evil for letting the Earth suffer or more, but rather a question as to how God could allow humanity to commit such heinous acts when humanity has shown itself to be nothing but unappreciative of the gifts it receives.
From this blending of artistic license and the Biblical reading of the film, Aronofsky uses the film as a plea for the environment. Upon the arrival of humanity, people begin polluting - Ed Harris' smoking - and people begin fighting which leads to blood being spilled on her. By the end, people refuse to change their ways and continue to live their life as they wish, constantly demanding more from the Earth whereas she has nothing more to give. As they eat every fruit she bears and leech onto her like parasites, there is no recourse left for the Earth but to burn itself (climate change) and take the people who raped her along with her into the grave. It is the mission of this film to beg God to answer why he allows the Earth to be polluted and scorched by an undeserving world. It shows the beauty of his work and stunning brilliance of the world surrounding the home, and openly wonders why it must be polluted by humans who will not appreciate this gift. It is a film begging for the apocalypse to come, so that the Earth may be saved and humanity will be forced to reckon with the damage they caused to the greatest gift they could have received from their creator.
It is for the interpretations laid out above that, once more, I come away believing that Aronofskyâs work is some of the best religious-based cinema in recent years. As he is an atheist, many immediately accuse him of not understanding the Bible, hating God, or hating Christians. On the surface, it is hard to not see how many come away feeling this way. However, as a Christian myself, Aronofskyâs films are hardly that easy to pin down. Rather, he displays a great reverence for God in mother! and in many of his other films. The only animosity he holds is for those who have taken what He created and messed it all up with violence, sin, and anger. When given the Garden of Eden, man was unsatisfied and gave into temptation. Aronofskyâs rage, therefore, is aimed at humanity for behaving in the way that it has throughout human history. His reading of the Bible is not one that shows scorn for the Biblical text, but one that is honest and shows the sinful, violent ways of humanity and the unrelenting forgiveness offered by God in the face of all of this violence. He knows this film is horrifying and a tough pill to swallow, as few want to admit that it is humanity that is burning the Earth and throwing the gifts we receive back in Godâs face. We beg Him to kick out the guests in the film and side with the mother and her confusion as to why Him continues to allow them to stay in their home. For Aronofsky, his only pursuit is not critique religion, but rather to use his film as a wake-up call for why we want the âguestsâ (humans) kicked out in the film, but do not want the same in reality. It is we who are the heinous, sex-crazed, violent, and disrespectful guests. When will we wake up and do something about it? Or, will we have to wait for God to just destroy us and start over again?
In watching mother!, it is hard to not think about the theories of Laura Mulvey regarding sexism in film. In her book Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema, Mulvey describes multiple elements that factor into mother!. For one, the male gaze. The male gaze applies to the camera, the audience, and the actors on the set, who objectifying the female characters and use her for their own visual stimulation. In mother!, this is very much the case with the camera following around Jennifer Lawrence like a dog in heat as she walks around the home in a see-through nightgown. Highlighting her behind at all times with Lawrence walking around seemingly on tippy-toes to accentuate her bottom, the camera repeatedly sexualizes and objectifies Lawrence as she walks around the home. Later, characters do the same to her with men hitting on her and women calling attention to the revealing clothing that she is wearing. The characters treat her as a piece of furniture, looking to Him as the owner and maker of the home and mother as merely an accessory that comes along with the home. As the film plays out, it becomes more apparent that, once more, the film aligns with the theory of Mulvey in how characterizes mother. Not only is she stripped while being called a cunt and a bitch in the film's climax, but she plays two roles in the film: that of child-rearer and that of castrator. The former is more apparent with her giving birth of a child. The latter ties into the yellow powder consumed by mother until she finally sleeps with Him. Many critics have cited it as a reference to the short story The Yellow Wallpaper, in which a woman's husband keeps her captive in a home tells her she is psychotic. Descending into madness, she becomes obsessed with the yellow wallpaper and the belief that there are women who live in her walls. Given mother's obsession with painting the home and her constantly feeling the walls to reveal a heartbeat, it certainly makes sense. However, this also can tie into her role as "castrator" as defined by Mulvey. Though she does not literally take away Him's manhood by any means, she nonetheless stops drinking this yellow powder immediately after finally sleeping with her husband and becoming pregnant. Right after he finally does it, she goes to the bathroom and dumps out the powder. Later, as he becomes more and more unruly, she runs to go find the powder again only to see there is none left. From there, she further loses power as Him and his followers began to overpower her. In essence, it seems as though the powder was her source of strength that gave her some sort of dominion over Him that allowed her to keep Him in check by making her a more power being that He was. As a result, by losing it and thus losing this hold over Him, she loses her power in the relationship. By the end of the film, as in Mulvey's text, mother is punished for merely being a woman as she is attacked, thrown on the ground, loses her baby, and has her heart ripped out. As a result, it is easy to see how mother! lines up with the theories of Mulvey with mother being a woman who is constantly belittled and the behest of men in the film, all while the male gaze derives scopophilic pleasure from her. While Aronofsky may claim that his film is feminist, it is certainly not feminist and is rather quite sexist. Though not a take-down of the film by any means, it does demonstrate a shortcoming if Aronofsky's stated goal was to make a feminist work (and given the reference to the feminist short story The Yellow Wallpaper, it is more than likely was his intent).
Beyond the interpretations offered by the film, Mother! is nothing less than an exquisite visual extravaganza. Not only does Aronofsky capture the dreamlike aesthetic beautifully with the plot unraveling in such a way that it seems to spin naturally, but chaotically out of control right before our eyes, but the grainy 16mm film serves as the perfect platter for the film to be served on. Old school, textured, and presenting a rough surface, this grainy film stock serves to counter the beauty of the pristine locale found outside the home. While the home may be Eden, the camera captures the darkness of the home and gives this great haunted house vibe that makes it all seem so unnatural and horrifying. The camera gives this rough edge to the film that makes it simultaneously appealing to watch but hard to watch with how coarse and dense the film is on the surface.
In terms of the acting in the film, the passionate, frantic, and terrified performance given by Jennifer Lawrence perfectly accompanies the feeling instilled by Aronofsky. She is bewildered as her home is turned into the setting for a hellish descent into humanity-driven chaos. As an audience surrogate, we feel her confusion as the lens through which she sees the world is irrevocably shattered. Her raw performance in which she is constantly moving about the house with a tracking shot following her every move gives the film this kinetic edge that gives the film the traction it needs to unravel at the pace at which it does. There is hardly a moment to breathe with this suffocating atmosphere and this is brilliantly portrayed by Lawrence who seems to never be able to catch her breath and slow down as her world crumbles. Alongside her, Javier Bardem is brilliant as are Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Domhnall Gleeson. Together, all three give the film the sordid and violent tendencies it needs to instill the fear and horror that Aronofsky wishes to conjure up in mother!.
Once, when asked what his film The Fountain meant, director Darren Aronofsky responded that the film was akin to a rubik's cube. There are many different ways to solve it, but only one correct answer. In having seen The Fountain multiple times, counting it as my second favorite film of all-time, and citing it as a film that truly changed my point of view on death, I am not sure I can totally agree. The Fountain, much like Mother!, is a film that can be solved in many different ways, yes, but is not like rubik's cube at all. Rather, they are both vastly different things and mean a variety of things to whoever sees the film. There is no one correct answer to a film such as this, rather a variety of them and, as with beauty, this meaning is in the eye of the beholder. This malleable, gorgeous, chaotic, and truly brilliant film, is easily a return to form for Aronofsky who took a step back with Noah. Here, his unique, terrifying, and truly claustrophobic work, stands as one of the divisive films to ever be released and even in praising it and writing about it, my own thoughts are hardly clear. Is this a work of a master? Is this a work of a hack? Somewhere in between may truly be the answer, but as it stands, there are few films that elicit such violently different thoughts upon watching and for that alone, mother! is a film that, though undeniably influenced by a bevy of films, is one that feels wholly unique and ambitious. For that, it is hard for me to come away feeling anything but greatly positive, even if unclear, about mother!.
#mother#mother!#mother movie#mother! movie#2017 movies#2010s movies#darren aronofsky#film analysis#film reviews#movie reviews#jennifer lawrence#javier bardem#ed harris#michelle pfeiffer#domhnall gleeson#brian gleeson#kristen wiig
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Daily Study
Coping with imperfect or abusive parents: lessons from Abrahamâs life story.
Abrahamâs parents tried to offer him up for a sacrifice to their Gds. And by offer him up as a sacrifice, I do mean tie him up, put him on an alter, and kill him. While on the altar Gd came to him, rescued him, and promised to kill the man who wanted to take away his life (which I always thought was his father, but I canât find the textual evidence for that at the moment).
A quick detour, Abraham acknowledged that his fathers turned from righteousness to the evil traditions of the country in which they lived. He was not alone, three young women had been sacrificed upon the altar before him because they would not convert to the new religion of their fathers (meaning the religion of the country, which included the Pharoah). Iâm saying this because Iâve seen posts talking about how nationalism is an idol and this is basically proof that this has happened before. I also think it interesting that they were only offering up the rebellious children as sacrifices. And I think we really should see the parallels with queer individuals in needing to leave hostile spaces to peaceful ones, especially with Abraham 1:1:Â âI, Abraham, saw that it was needful for me to obtain another place of residence.â
Speaking of the scripture that starts the book of Abraham, Gd wants you out of abusive and dangerous situations from your parents, even if they are presumably of the covenant. Some donât escape, like the three virgins. We learn in the Book of Mormon that Gdâs will allows for bad people to harm good people so they can be judged at the last day for their actions. Who lives, who is rescued, and who isnât is all up to the Lord and it isnât for us to judge. I doubt those three young women were any less faithful than Abraham, especially to be speaking up in a patriarchal society (Abraham 1:25). Gd is the architect of billions of lives and we wonât understand every movement, but we simply have faith that it will work together for everyoneâs benefit.
Now we move on to Gd commanding Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, or where Abraham learns he must forgive his fathers to be saved. I know most of the time we talk about how Abraham had to give up the thing that mattered most to him, and I still believe that is a valid interpretation. But I think when we only focus on the fact that he wanted a son with his beloved wife and prayed for years until it finally came and then was asked to give it up, we are missing half the story. The story of Abraham dealing with his trauma.
Abraham knew his father was an evil man. He knew his father was vile and self-preserving to try and sacrifice him to idols. He had trauma, pain, and likely hatred for his father for trying to kill him and whatever other abuses he faced. Then Gd told him to do what his abuser did to him. Gd chooses his trials of faith to be perfectly tailored to us individually and I think it is no mistake that Gd told Abraham to sacrifice his beloved son to the Gd Abraham believed in (beyond the symbolism of Christ in the future). This was Gd showing Abraham what his father felt, what his father believed. While Gd and everyone else basically knows that the act was wrong, Gd needed Abraham to see that his father was acting in earnest, to see that his father was not an evil demon in human form, but that his father was human and flawed and full of a different kind of faith. Abraham went up to the mountain to face the hatred his trauma filled him with and let it go.
If I were to perform as Abraham in this situation, I would likely play him as a man accepting his trauma and that he would be killed like his father before him when he went to slay Isaac. That feeling when you feel so much pain and you surrender yourself to death even though death isnât something you just squeeze all your emotions out and then get, but that is what it feels like. Abraham was looking back to his past, understanding his father, loving his father, and letting go of the hate and selfish feelings he had his entire life. When the angel came, the angel was saving Isaac AND Abraham. Abraham wasnât just offering his only begotten son, he was offering up his hatred and trauma. He was healed and blessed.
Pearl of Great Price Abraham 1 and Bible Genesis 22 are where I am taking this information from. I think the perspective we get on this story from having the record of Abraham as a rebellious child who was going to be sacrificed to an idol really changes my perspective on the Abraham being commanded to offer up Isaac and helped me process the pain and trauma my imperfect parents gave me. I know I had significantly less-severe issues with my parents that Abraham had and what likely many others have faced. Regardless, I took this as a lesson that not only will Gd ask me to give up what I love and care for the most in the world, but that He also wants me to forgive, understand, and move on from trauma caused by people around me.
Gd wants us out of abusive situations and then to forgive the abusers. I try to learn my lesson from other peopleâs experiences because going through such a process as Abraham did in having to almost sacrifice his son does not sound nice. Iâd rather process through prayer and therapy than going through a crazy recreation of the situation with me being the perpetrator, but Gd gives us what we need in order to be exalted.Â
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How Anxious Parents Can Let Go of Guilt
Living with anxiety means you become creative with your parenting. You sometimes have to plan staycations instead of faraway vacations. You say no when you want to say yes. You risk your child asking you why a lot. Why canât we go to the aquarium? Why canât we go to the baseball game? Why canât you drive here or there? When I heard those questions, I interpreted them in my mind as, why canât you be like other moms without anxiety? From there the guilt would seep in.Â
I am not always the mom who canât. Iâve had periods in my life where I have been the mom who goes on the school trips, goes shopping alone, and drives further than out of our town. Every few years anxiety will rise up and I relapse into agoraphobia, generalized anxiety and panic. It only stays for a while and it always gets better, but during those times when it is present, it can be difficult. Iâve worked hard every day towards finding solutions and tools to help me cope and keep anxiety at bay, and for the most part, I can. During the times I canât and anxiety is raging, it feels like life is passing by and moments are missed because of anxietyâs powerful hold. Itâs the reality that life still happens despite my temporary hiatus, despite my âbe back soonâ or âunder constructionâ status.
So how do we deal with the guilt? Do we wait and try to make up for lost time when we are better? Do we try to pretend it doesnât matter and that we donât care and just say it is what it is? What has helped me to deal with my own guilt is to just be honest and call it for the crappy feeling it is. Iâm always trying to be the best version of myself that I can be, even on tough days. Iâm proactive with my mental health, I self-care to try and prevent relapses, and I self-care a little more when my mental health is struggling.Â
Despite anxiety, I was always active in my childrenâs school. I even worked at one of my childâs schools for eight years, and when I was not working, I volunteered in the classrooms and for events. I did those things despite having anxiety. I spent a lot of time teaching my children how to be helpful, loving and kind by the example I set. I taught them about faith and humanity. We would do homework and projects together, and I still do with my youngest child who is still in high school. When my kids were younger, we would go for walks and play basketball at the park together. We did things within my comfort zone. I took my children to their medical and dental appointments and still do, even when anxiety screams so bad inside of me that I think everyone could hear it. I tried to do things every day against my anxiety in the hope that one day I will be totally free of it, and even though it comes and goes, it has never left me forever.Â
I might have not been able to take my children on long trips or do everything they wanted to do, but there were many things I did that are of great significance that they are grateful for today. One of the most important things I did for my children was to teach them how to be caring and accepting of people, and not to judge people with depression or anxiety. The ability to have compassion and empathy for others is something I see them practice in their lives now as they have grown. A part of me might always feel like I failed them in some ways because anxiety called the shots a lot of times when it would pop in and out my life while they were younger. At the same time, because of anxiety, I was very tuned into their mental health and have always been able to help them navigate through their own struggles and teach them about mental health self-care. My children knew that I was always willing to play board games, go to the park, do crafts and bake together.Â
Being a parent with anxiety doesnât need to have a negative connotation attached to it. When I step out of comparing myself to other parents and recognize that I am still a good parent that has done amazing things, even though anxiety has lingered in and out of my life, I can let go of the inner critic. I can quiet the inner dialogue fueled by anxiety that tells me I am not good enough.
Parenting with anxiety has had its challenges, but it has not always been a struggle. It has motivated me to work around my anxiety so that I can be an engaging and present parent in my childrenâs daily life. When I reflect on everything I have accomplished as a parent with anxiety, I know that I have nothing to be ashamed of. Too many parents are carrying the guilt of having a mental illness. Having a mental illness does not make you a bad parent. Being a bad parent makes you a bad parent, and I am a great mother.Â
How Anxious Parents Can Let Go of Guilt syndicated from
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How Anxious Parents Can Let Go of Guilt
Living with anxiety means you become creative with your parenting. You sometimes have to plan staycations instead of faraway vacations. You say no when you want to say yes. You risk your child asking you why a lot. Why canât we go to the aquarium? Why canât we go to the baseball game? Why canât you drive here or there? When I heard those questions, I interpreted them in my mind as, why canât you be like other moms without anxiety? From there the guilt would seep in.Â
I am not always the mom who canât. Iâve had periods in my life where I have been the mom who goes on the school trips, goes shopping alone, and drives further than out of our town. Every few years anxiety will rise up and I relapse into agoraphobia, generalized anxiety and panic. It only stays for a while and it always gets better, but during those times when it is present, it can be difficult. Iâve worked hard every day towards finding solutions and tools to help me cope and keep anxiety at bay, and for the most part, I can. During the times I canât and anxiety is raging, it feels like life is passing by and moments are missed because of anxietyâs powerful hold. Itâs the reality that life still happens despite my temporary hiatus, despite my âbe back soonâ or âunder constructionâ status.
So how do we deal with the guilt? Do we wait and try to make up for lost time when we are better? Do we try to pretend it doesnât matter and that we donât care and just say it is what it is? What has helped me to deal with my own guilt is to just be honest and call it for the crappy feeling it is. Iâm always trying to be the best version of myself that I can be, even on tough days. Iâm proactive with my mental health, I self-care to try and prevent relapses, and I self-care a little more when my mental health is struggling.Â
Despite anxiety, I was always active in my childrenâs school. I even worked at one of my childâs schools for eight years, and when I was not working, I volunteered in the classrooms and for events. I did those things despite having anxiety. I spent a lot of time teaching my children how to be helpful, loving and kind by the example I set. I taught them about faith and humanity. We would do homework and projects together, and I still do with my youngest child who is still in high school. When my kids were younger, we would go for walks and play basketball at the park together. We did things within my comfort zone. I took my children to their medical and dental appointments and still do, even when anxiety screams so bad inside of me that I think everyone could hear it. I tried to do things every day against my anxiety in the hope that one day I will be totally free of it, and even though it comes and goes, it has never left me forever.Â
I might have not been able to take my children on long trips or do everything they wanted to do, but there were many things I did that are of great significance that they are grateful for today. One of the most important things I did for my children was to teach them how to be caring and accepting of people, and not to judge people with depression or anxiety. The ability to have compassion and empathy for others is something I see them practice in their lives now as they have grown. A part of me might always feel like I failed them in some ways because anxiety called the shots a lot of times when it would pop in and out my life while they were younger. At the same time, because of anxiety, I was very tuned into their mental health and have always been able to help them navigate through their own struggles and teach them about mental health self-care. My children knew that I was always willing to play board games, go to the park, do crafts and bake together.Â
Being a parent with anxiety doesnât need to have a negative connotation attached to it. When I step out of comparing myself to other parents and recognize that I am still a good parent that has done amazing things, even though anxiety has lingered in and out of my life, I can let go of the inner critic. I can quiet the inner dialogue fueled by anxiety that tells me I am not good enough.
Parenting with anxiety has had its challenges, but it has not always been a struggle. It has motivated me to work around my anxiety so that I can be an engaging and present parent in my childrenâs daily life. When I reflect on everything I have accomplished as a parent with anxiety, I know that I have nothing to be ashamed of. Too many parents are carrying the guilt of having a mental illness. Having a mental illness does not make you a bad parent. Being a bad parent makes you a bad parent, and I am a great mother.Â
from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2t4shht via theshiningmind.com
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