#and the capitalists are crying about hustle and grind
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me, age 4, watching factory assembly lines on mr rogers’: oh, cool, technology is gonna remove the need for most people to do menial labour, freeing humans from back breaking work and allowing more leisure time as well as more minds devoted to art, sciences, medicine, and other technology
capitalists, age like 65 or w/e: oh no the machines are taking all the jobs!!! we need to create more jobs!!!!!
#it literally was like that though#just oh cool that would need 100 people to do it 100 years ago#interesting! we won’t have to kill ourselves working#and the capitalists are crying about hustle and grind#babe wake up new world dropped#the economic systems of before are not compatible with it#txt#capitalism#economics#everyone’s like noooo self check out steals jobs#like cool maybe we don’t all have to be working constantly???#obsessed with how I’m actually really smart and creative#and my future looks so unpromising#bc I’m disabledddddddddd#actually sitting up for more than 4 hrs causes excruciating pain#fr I’m betting it all on becoming a well known author#bc even most writers can’t live off it#hmmmmmmm#wonder if there’s something wrong with a world#where people are paying with hours of their lives#and still can barely live
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I'm so exhausted.
Okay, look, I know I seem to be expressing a lot of physical exhaustion lately, but this is more in regards to my increasing exhaustion with what the internet has become: One giant, inescapable, smothering advertisement.
I probably only want to cry about it right now at this very moment because I'm so tired, but I mean, honestly, if I'm not crying over it, I'm seething over it.
So you, a corporation, you don't want to pay your employees fairly or properly, and you then expect people who can barely afford their rent, never even mind their stupid health insurance or any of the other expensive life necessities, you really expect them to turn around and spend every last of their five remaining dollars on your piece of cheap shit instead of a cheap loaf of bread which will at least allow them to get through the next few days??? Unlike your stupid foot soak boot things, hey epsom your tired feet while you clean your apartment after work--multitask, grind, hustle!! But also, treat yo'self and self-care.
There's no fucking point in having fucking adblock, because when I go to research how to get better at my hobby, google wants to shove a dozen more products that I neither need nor want down my throat. The only way to improve a fucking smart phone is to make it a better shopping device. "Hey look, do you see something irl, maybe during your vacation or just out and about for the day, and you need to buy it right fucking here and now?? Buy our fucking phone because it will help you have fifty afterpays instead of the usual five that you're constantly balancing at any one fucking time."
As someone who used to be curious to learn, I still remember when the internet was seen as a way to exchange knowledge and information, and sure, if you're really, really good at using the internet, or if you're incredibly resourceful, and lucky, and maybe find a group on like Discord or Reddit or maybe Facebook, full of people who share your general interest, and maybe they have the knowledge you're asking for readily at hand.
But it's bullshit. The more and more ads in a row, video after video, song after song, that I have to wade through to get to the information that I came here for, the less interested I am in things like Youtube for information and learning. I really have cut myself off from learning, because increasingly for years, it's been harder and harder to actually use the internet to learn anything.
The internet has become a giant screaming relentless bright flashing fucking billboard advertisement and I'm just so.......done.
Look, frankly, I miss having books in my home. Books aren't very reasonable for lugging about the country to your next couch. But that lifestyle is behind me. Books don't constantly advertise at me. The index in the back of the book doesn't make me watch a fucking ad to figure out how I'm supposed to be doing this next part of my project or how I can up my skill at this thing I'm trying to learn or improve at.
And whenever the hell I decide to leave my meat-suit, donate my books to a library if no one in my family wants them.
I'm just so fucking exhausted. I'm doing relatively financially okay right now. I have money to pay my bills and feed myself and still grab a couple things most paychecks. It is currently often a choice between improving my household or taking care of my physical body, or taking care of my emotional well-being, but that's fine. A privilege, really, compared to the places that I've been.
But I don't have the buckets of disposable income that the internet seems convinced that I do.
The internet was supposed to be a beacon of information sharing and a new fucking era of communication.
I don't think anyone foresaw it being a capitalist hellscape. It feels like I can't move through reality or cyberspace without being screamed at on all sides to spend out every last dime on things I don't want, don't need, and am extraordinarily NOT interested in.
I'm so exhausted. I'm so sick to my bones, my guts, my soul.
The thought of escaping into the mountains, becoming a hermit, never to be seen again, becomes increasingly appealing.
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