#and the answer is yes! so thats also big emotions rn

[hertwood]

most kudos'd fic of mine in under 24hrs

[thejollyswan]

Hi! I am a HUGE Captain Swan fan! What are the main reasons why you love Captain Swan/Hook?

HI!!!!! SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER. University sucks

I AM A HUGE CS FAN AS WELL SO THIS ASK IS THE BEST THING EVER

Okay there are maaaany reasons that i cant all put here but i guess i will put what comes to mind rn

1- They just understand each other on another level. If you pay attention they almost never judge the other's actions (and boi there is a lot to judge if we are honest jsbdksjs) and they just GET IT you know?? They didn't have exactly the same lives but they went through their own shit in life and its like even before they got together they had an unspoken understanding of each other that they didnt experience with anybody else. As much as Emma's family loves her, there ARE things that they just can't really get. And in Killian's case nobody sees the true him as much as Emma does, no matter what horrible things he did in his past.

2- They are not a constantly on and off relationship. TECHNICALLY once they got together they never broke up. That one time in s6 is debatable. Yes she gave him the ring back BUT SHE DIDNT SAY IT WAS OVER and then Killian was taken away. AND LIKE EVEN WITH ALL THE DARK ONE STUFF THEY NEVER ACTUALLY BROKE UP??? So yeah they really stayed together throughout double darkness, like 3 deaths and a shit ton of villains. Even if they had fights or problems they didnt end the relationship on a whim, they worked through their problems and came out stronger AND I LOVE THEM FOR THAT. Also i hate on and off couples ejbfjdbdj its so annoying.

3- THE PATIENCE FAM. THEY WERE SO PATIENT WITH EACH OTHER. AND SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT IT WAS ONLY KILLIAN BECAUSE HE WAITED FOR HER, NO! Emma was also patient in many aspects, especially as they became more serious and Killian had many demons to fight both from his past and his present, and she really didnt pressure him into laying out all his troubled past on the table. She allowid him to take his time and tell her things on his own time (like the Ursula thing).

4- THE TRUUUUUUUUUST. There was so much trust in their relationship it kills me. AND YES THEY HAD THEIR TRUST ISSUES WITH THE WHOLE DARK ONES THING BUT COME ON. Honestly i dont think its fair to judge Dark Captain Swan as normal Captain Swan bc it REALLY isnt the same. Outside that time, they really had the deepest trust in each other. AND WE KNOW ITS NOT EASY FOR THEM TO TRUST, especially Emma. But my girl REFUSED to let people talk shit about Killian because she TRUSTED him so much and knew that he wouldnt betray or hurt them even before they got together. (Also that episode where killian is taken in s6 and Emma IMMEDIATELY GIVES UP ON HIM AND THINKS HE ABANDONED HER is absolute bullshit. At that point in their relationship she wouldnt act like that fuck the writers for that one)

5- They are hot together. Period. No need to elaborate.

6- THE TENDERNESS UGHHHHHH THEY WERE ACTUALLY SO SWEET ??? HE IS A DEADLY PIRATE AND FORMER VILLAIN AND SHE IS A HIDE MY EMOTIONS KINDA TOUGH GIRL but they were surprisingly very sweet and tender with each other which was very refreshing to see. Outside Dark CS they werent toxic or like constantly arguing and yelling and being rough with each other and i love them for being so sweet.

7- When they did fuck up it was out of love for the other. I think 99% of times they fucked up was because they were trying to protect the other and if thats not true love idk what is.

8- They never gave up on each other. Never. (Emma in that one episode doesnt count that was EXTREMELY out of character). They were SO willing to fight for each other as a couple and as individuals (before and after getting together).

Okay these are some of the maaaaany reasons.

I see that you also asked me about Hook and bc i dont wanna pay attention in class then i will also tell you what i love about him.

1- Colin. Yes. He is a big part of what makes Killian Jones and why i love him and if it was another actor it could have changed everything.

2- Has THE BEST redemption arc in the show by far. Argue with the wall, thats how i feel. He never justified his actions or try to pin them on "his past self". Yes he is a changed man but the SAME man who did those things and he always carries that guilt with him (sometimes too much). But most importantly, he always works SO hard to make up for those mistakes by both apologising and through actions, actively trying to make amends.

3- The man is fearless. He doesn't give a shit. He will fight anyone to get what he want even when he is clearly at a disadvantage. Respect man haahjsjajsjsnd

4- When he loves... oof he loves so deeply. I dont even have to explain. We see it. He fell HARD man.

5- He is not afraid to show his emotions. Most of the time he wears his heart out on his sleeve, especially when it comes to Emma, even if he gets rejected. That is honestly admirable, wish i could do that lol, it takes bravery.

6- Do i hate him for dying all the time? Yes. Do i also freaking love him for sacrifising himself for the people he loves? Damn right.

7- HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH BELLE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

8- HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HENRY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9- He is cute and dumb sometimes and i love that for him.

10- He is freaking hot. Period.

11- Pirates are hot. Period.

I think that is a good way to end my reasons JSBDKSBDJS

Conclusion: i love Captain Swan, Emma and Killian with my whole heart 😌✨️

Thanks so much for the ask anon!! Feel free to talk to me anytime 😁

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I doubt that kyoani would choose to deliberately end this franchise that’s become such a big, important thing in a bad/ underwhelming way. In a way that disappoints us all. I mean, they clearly learned from S3, right? Or do you think they’ll choose to end it in a loose/bad end just for shock value? Like genuinely, I want to believe they’ll stick to the friendship/love premise that’s been the core of free! since forever. Do you believe they will solve this in a satisfactory way? What would be the worst outcome? How can they solve this without going bl? Will they solve it half-heartedly??? Will they meet out expectations?? Will they let us down??? I’ve been going crazy for the past days trying to come up with ANSWERS but is there a way to know?🥲

Nah, I don't think it's possible for them to end it in a bad or unsatisfying way. Each rinharu angsty bomb at the end always follows up with even more intense happy ending one like 1x12 and 2x12. It's how they go. And the new angst bomb is a result of combination of all rinharu angst throuhout the whole story since the very beginning, so I can't tell how excited I am about the next movie O_O

I honestly don't ever remember any conflict in free resolving in unsatisfying way ever. We don't like s3 bc Ikuya's storyline was a repetitive soup and bc because of this we just didn't move anywhere plotwise and thus everyone was mad, but it once again didn't harm rinharu in any way. We also weren't used to this kind of plot distribution you see. Apparently Hiyori's words, opening credits with Rin leaving and Haru on the rails, Haru being so upset after Rin jumping in like "yo" and his whole reaction that was all them planting more seeds for the main rinharu boom-boom that this movie ended with and the resolve you'll see in the next one. So they're just using rinharu as a carrot here.

Literally everything what was happening rn, I was expecting in s3, bc of the opening too, when they showed him hurting over Rin leaving and Haru's eyes lit up and he destroyed the pool.

That was when and why I wrote this scene in the first place, bc I thought he would yell at him about leaving and coming back without a word in 3x10, but you see I underrestimated his control xD. It's just so funny bc I remeber how I was grasping on straws after everyone was upset about 3x10, I wrote an analisys of this scene right after the episode, how he's just tired of him leaving and then jumping in like no biggie, thats why he looks so upset and angry in that scene:

and I just trashed them by saying that "if I wrote fanfiction, I would suggest this reason for him being so upset, but thats not gonna happen with writers like this". And turns out they planned the fafiction all along lmaaooooo (I'm real sorry, free creators, I'm sorry)

I then wrote "He just doesn’t want to soften up in case Rin leaves again… shut up, let me dream." and made this vid LOL SCORE.

I suggest to look at it like 3x01, 3x03, 3x09-3x12 is the first five episodes of the season, the first movie is the usual mess thats happening from ep 6 to 9 or smth and the finale is gonna be the second part of the movie. But kudos to them for the fact, that they indeed planned it all along, I just thought that my theory in s3 was too fanfiction-y and that was just my rinharu crazed brain, but then again they always were the best fanfiction, so I don't even know why I'm so surprised. It's just really funny that it was indeed exactly that.

So my point is, if that was really their intention all along, since its the only reason s3 opening along with everything that was happening makes true sense, then I have no doubt it's gonna come together very nicely at the end. I mean, all elements are in place, there's a reason sakura doesn't bloom now and we're there again, the set up is perfect, you can hardly back out from what Haru said now and it's just Rin related, not about friends or swimming really. As for bl or not, I mean, to me it always was their love story even without this label. I don't think they'll make them kiss or anything, but they always write them so good that they give me the amount of feels that most bl won't give me. I'm pretty sure Haru hugging him paralleled to s1 finale and blooming sakura will be included as for the rest, I have my wild scenarios ready, yes. But my point is I don't think they'd disappoint us, no.

I just honestly think they should've either wait and put this all in one season or make Ikuya story separetely, bc the way s3 was was like if s1 ended with ep5 or smth. We're just used to our usual emotional rinharu drama, emotional rinharu resolve during the season that we didn't quite get wtf was s3 haha. I just remember how we didn't get why Hiyori thing wasn't adressed and what is even going on and why Haru is like that during the reunion and what opening has to do with anything if he didn't have any outburst. Here it is. Why they split it like this idk. Worst decision ever. I mean, ppl were sooooooooo mad.

Ah, good job tho, so happy about their box office record, well deserved. That was good promotion with the Road to the World, trailer and everything *wink wink*.

[volfoss]

be real with me. should i read one piece.

On one hand, yes bc I am rly enjoying it and it is one of the best shonens I've ever read. You do have to get past the ugly art (you do get used to it semi early on if thats any condolence) and how the women r drawn well. In a way lmao. I'm only 250 or so chapters in so like my thoughts may change in the future but rn it's smth where I would say yes however I do kinda wanna like give you heads up on a few things that are worth knowing before you start under the cut, discussions of some transmisogynistic content under the cut

So I haven't hit this arc yet (from what I know it starts at ch 523), but there's an arc that basically um. Fits a fair amt of really bad tropes. I'm going to direct you to this WordPress blog that is run by a trans woman and she talks about it in depth (more than I can rn as I haven't gotten there yet) and why it's um. Handled in a pretty bad way. There's also a character that's relatively similar (although tamer in terms of how he is handled) earlier on (introduced ch 129) that is clearly a sort of gender unclear character? And honestly this character could be handled worse and also better but it's also not as bad from what I understand of the latter portrayals of ppl that are GNC. One piece however does get better w trans characters and two of them are handled well (from what I understand) although they got introduced I believe in the 800s or 900s in terms of chapters. But what makes the earlier GNC rep worse is that like. One of the fan favorite characters comes out pretty transphobic towards these characters and in general so it's a heads up I feel is necessary to give (learning this initially made me go um :/ about one piece so it's smth that I do want to give a heads up on)

There's also the rly shitty archetype of man being creepy 2 women who are not interested who coincidentally is ALSO the transphobic character. So like giving u a heads up on that bc its played as a joke but it can be taken a bit too far sometimes and can be uncomfortable. The character does show up pretty early (ch 43) and is a part of the main crew so you do have to deal w him being like *that* pretty often bc it's literally towards any woman he sees.

Onto other things however, there's genuinely a lot of good in it. The women are the best written women I've ever seen in shonen (esp comparing to Naruto and jjba) and that's in spite of the um. Proportions (the post about the author drawing women literally like o><= is pretty famous so p sure you know what I'm talking about). The plot is genuinely very fun and the characters are all well written as well as their relationships and friendships. I genuinely like haven't read anything like this in terms of how genuinely all of the characters in the main group are paid attention to and not ignored in terms of their development. It's the big obstacle of getting over how the art can look at times and how the women in particular are drawn (it starts out not being too bad but like this pic was from maybe ch 180 or so)

^ the proportions are um. So in a way for sure. But I say all of this to say that I think the length and art are pretty daunting of like oh god there's over 1000 chapters/100 volumes but imo like if you're interested in it, it's worth it. If you are like interested in a certain character (ie nami. You would LOVE nami everyone should love nami) I think it's worth it to read to their backstory or to the end of their arc if they're a minor character. Imo if you wanna give it a solid shot, I'd give it at least until like 20 chapters in? If you're invested in nami and wanna stop after her backstory (very emotional will destroy u etc), that's ch 95. I think it is genuinely very good but there r also the issues and problems and stuff! I hope this very long winded post answered your question and if u need more details on stuff I'm here :)

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Request, if it's okay with you: Ray's Route, Day 9, when Saeran is throwing up and switching in between personalities, MC goes to see with her own eyes if he was actually sick and weak. She spends the night with him, which ends up kinda hard, since Saeran is weakly pushing her away, while Ray is clinging to her like to dear life. If you want, you can change and play with the idea, because your writing is gonna be awesome either way 💙

Ahhh first of all! I’ve actually imagined this sort of thing before, and I’m so happy it got requested, and second; thanks for the sweet message! ☺️

Also it’s 5am rn, and I just couldn’t sleep until I stopped writing it, so I hope yoh enjoy it!

Together (Saeran x fem!MC)

You paced around your room. Was Saeran going to be alright? Where was he? Why did he leave?

You bit your thumb as you thought of the endless possibilities of what might’ve happened to him. Every second your thoughts got darker and darker, and you became even more worried about Saeran. It was night, but no matter how late it was you just couldn’t sleep. You sat down on your bed, and ran your hands through your hair, sighing worriedly.

Thats when you heard a thud, and some people yelling.

You quickly got up and found that your door was unlocked. In front of you were two believers, knocked out, and you heard footsteps quickly coming your way. You grabbed one of the believers robes, and put them on, then you raced to meet the people that were coming your way.

“Hey, did you see that boy running over here? We’re about to get him, he’s weak and he’s got nowhere to run. The Savior wants him immediately.” One of them said.

You cleared your throat and pointed behind them. “He went that way. We’ve already looked over this part, and he’s not here.”

The believers nodded. “Alright. For eternal paradise.”

“Y-yeah, for eternal paradise.”

And with that the believers quickly left. As soon as trey were out of your sight you quickly ran in the opposite direction.

He had to be somewhere around here.

You checked every door and every corner, until you made it into a dark room, at the end of the hall. The door was open, and you slowly entered, taking the robes off.

The whole place was dark, illuminated only by the light of the moon. It had a big window, and it looked to be a sort of guest room. But it also had a lot of stuff in it that looked to be kept in there, so it was probably used as some sort of storage room.

And there he was.

You gasped as you saw Saeran, who was leaning on the window. You quickly closed the door and walked over to him, slowly.

“S....Saeran?”

He quickly turned around, and his eyes lit up, just for a moment, but quickly a scowl made its way up to his face.

“What the hell are you doing here. Are you crazy?! How did you get out of your room?! What the hell do you even think you’re doing?! They could’ve caught you, you idiot, what is wrong with you?!” He yelled, and you took a step back.

Saeran noticed that and he closed his eyes, clenching his fists.

“Get out.” He ordered.

“What? Saeran are you kidding me? You’re clearly not well, you need to rest and there are people looking for you I’m not-”

“Leave right now!!” He screamed, and he menacingly walked over to you. “Leave right before I do something that I will....just leave!”

You stood still, your face filled with determination. “No. I won’t Saeran, I won’t leave, I WON’T!”

You panted, as tears started forming in the corner of your eyes. You were so mad, that he wasn’t letting you help, that he was pushing you away.

Saeran walked even closer to you, and he made you take back a few steps until he was pining you against the wall.

“You seem...to think that all of a sudden you can just talk back to me....just because that weakling showed himself to you ONCE doesn’t mean he’s back. He won’t come back, NEVER! Now let me teach you who is really in charge here-ugh!”

Before Saeran could do anything, he turned away and doubled over, throwing up.

“Saeran!” You quickly kneeled beside him, and started rubbing his back when he pushed you. “Don’t touch me....! Ugh...just...just LEAVE!”

He kept throwing up, coughing. You had never seen him like this. When he stopped, you quickly helped him stand up.

Saeran wasn’t saying anything, and he panted as you let him lean on you.

You led him to the bed, and put the covers over him. Saeran closed his eyes, and his breathing became ragged, his face filled with pain. You slowly touched his face.

He was hot. Extremely hot.

Shit.

You looked around, and tried to think of how you could help him. Thankfully the room also had a bathroom inside, so you could get some cold water from there to help his fever go down.

As you stood up to go and grab some towels, you felt a hand grab your hand.

“Don’t....don’t leave me....” Saeran whispered, as he looked up at you.

“Saeran, I’m just going to the bathroom alright? I’m going to be right here.”

Hestitatantly, Saeran let your hand go. You quickly walked over to the bathroom and grabbed some towels, and after you got them wet, you made your way to Saeran.

You knelt down, and placed the cold towels on his forehead, and a bucket you had luckily found near him. That way, if he felt the need to throw up again, he could do it there.

Then, you quietly walked over to the door, and tried to hear if there was anyone outside.

Silence. Thank god.

You grabbed a chair that was on the corner of the room, and placed it beside the bed. There, you looked over at Saeran, who had closed his eyes and was actually sleeping.

You let out a relieved sigh. Finally he was getting some rest.

But his face...it was still filled with pain. And everytime he grunted or whimpered, it broke your heart.

It was about 2am, and you tried your best to stay awake to keep watch.

But every now and then, when you looked at Saeran your eyes would close a bit.

And before you knew it, you fell asleep.

********

You quickly woke up to the sound of someone barfing.

Saeran. You quickly stood up and saw him, with the bucket held tightly in his hands.

You rubbed his back, and everytime he’d gag and throw up, you wanted to cry.

At last, Saeran finished, and he panted as he leaned back on the bed. Quietly, you grabbed the bucket and went to the bathroom to wash it, and then you grabbed a cup that was in there. You washed it and then filled it with water, then your brought it over to Saeran.

He didn’t take it.

“Saeran....you have to drink some water. Please.”

He didn’t reply. But slowly, he took the cup, and drank it all.

Then he threw the cup and got under the covers, turning away from you.

You picked the cup up, and where about to leave for the bathroom when you heard Saeran mumble something.

“Saeran? Do you need anything else?” You asked, and walked closer to him.

“Why? I just don’t understand. Are you seriously this dumb? What is wrong with you?” He said.

“What do you mean? Saeran I don’t understand.”

Saeran quickly turned over and sat up, glaring at you.

“Why are you doing this? What do you even get out of it? You could’ve escaped already, you could’ve called that idiot V so he could’ve let you out of here. Instead you’re taking care of me. Why?”

You looked down, and bit your lip.

“Well....because I couldn’t leave without you Saeran. They were chasing after you, and if they got you, who knows what they could’ve done to you? Seriously, did you really think I’d leave this place without you?”

“Well why didn’t you?! You’re such an idiot. Taking care of someone who has treated you so poorly. Are you a masochist or something? I’ve done nothing but torment you, yet here you are, playing nurse and taking care of me! I just don’t understand!” He said, exasperated, as he angrily ran his hands through his hair.

“Why the hell would I leave you?! Saeran you’re important to me, I’d never-”

“Because I’m an asshole, and you SHOULD leave, right from the beginning, you shouldn’t have answered the message, you shouldn’t have come here, you should have never ever MET me!!! And you just keep being so stubborn, in hope that that weakling Ray will come back, but he won’t! And I-I. I...Don’t. Get it! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME HERE TO ROT- ”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT!” You screamed. Saeran stopped.

You let out a shaky breath and looked at him.

“I love you. And not just Ray. I love you, I love the kind you, the angry you, the sad you, I love all of you. And I won’t leave you here. I don’t want you to suffer anymore Saeran....”

Saeran looked at you. He was shocked. And speechless. But then....something changed. He looked at you, a hint of longing in his eyes. He slowly raised his hand, and started caressing your cheek. Then he stopped and his cold expression was back.

“No. Just stop, STOP!” He screamed, as he covered his ears, tears forming in his eyes.

“Saeran, look at me, calm down.” You rubbed his back, but he slapped your hands away.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t get close to me, go AWAY! I don’t need you! I’m strong...! Yes I’m strong, I’m not weak, like him, I’m strong!”

But even though he tried to put on a brave face...Saeran was breaking. You made your way to the bed, and sat beside him. Saeran didn’t look at you, and kept mumbling under his breath.

“I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. I’m fine on my own, I’m strong.”

It broke you heart to see him like that. As you felt tears fall from your face you gently threw yourself to Saeran, hugging him tight.

“Saeran please...! Just because you’re kind, because you care for others or because you need help doesn’t mean you’re weak! You’re the strongest person that I know, please, please don’t torment yourself like that...I....I...” you sobbed as you held him tight.

Saeran sat still, his breathing still heavy. Then, he snapped out of it as he heard your cries, and he realized that you were burying your face in his neck, sobbing. He looked around the room.

He was...he was feeling so many emotions at once. He felt happy and relieved to see you here in his arms, but he was worried and sad, and made at himself because you were crying, sobbing.

And what you said to him...it echoed in his mind. Saeran slowly hugged you tight, and you gasped, as you felt him hold on to you and start shaking.

He was...crying....

You bit your lip and squeezed him tight.

The both of you cried, in that dark room, holding each other for so long.

Outside birds were singing, and the darkness was fading as the sun slowly came up.

And then...you both fell asleep, holding each other, your faces wet with tears.

When you woke up, Saeran wasn’t beside you. You panicked and looked around the room, and you saw him sitting at the foot of the bed.

“Sae...Saeran? Are you feeling better?”

He slowly turned around and nodded.

You made your way to him, to sit beside him. But he wouldn’t look at you.

After a few minutes, Saeran pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight.

Then, he pulled away and cupped your face in his hands, looking at you up and down. “I’m sorry. I love you so much. But I...I still did all those horrible things to you. Y/N...I just don’t understand. The whole time you’ve been here, I’ve just made you suffer...yet you still sit here, beside me, and you take care of me, even after everything I’ve done....You are amazing...” he chuckled, and you smiled at him.

“I know it’s hard Saeran. But I’m here for you. This place...it hurts me seeing what they’ve done to you. You don’t deserve any of this! So please Saeran...” you held his hands and looked at him. “Leave with me....lets escape together. We can leave, and then the both of us find happiness....and you’ll finally be free...”

Saeran looked at the ground, and bit his lip. But after a few minutes he looked up to face you.

“Are you sure you want to do this with me?”

You nodded.

Saeran gave you a tired smile. “I also want to find happiness with you...both as Ray and Saeran. Are you sure you can handle the both of us?” He said, teasing you a bit at the end.

“Yes, yes I can. I want to spend the rest of my days with you...”

“Alright then...let’s see how we can escape.”

Even though you protested a bit, since Saeran was still a bit sick (he had thrown up most of the elixir thankfully), he still stood up and managed to grab his computer, which was the only thing he had brought with him when he was running away.

After everything was prepared and Saeran checked the security cameras, you both repeated the plan.

There was no one out in the hallway, so you could get out of the room just fine, although you were still nervous. Saeran told you that if anyone where to catch you, he would distract them so you could run and hide. No matter how much you objected Saeran insisted.

“I at least want you to be alright.”

“No Saeran. We’re doing this together, and if we get caught, I’m coming with you.”

“Hmph...so stubborn....fine...together. Um, Y/N, before we go....I’m actually really glad I met you. And I’m happy that you answered my message and came over here. Seriously. Thanks to you, I might....I’ll be able to get out of this place...”

You smiled and gave Saeran a little kiss, and then you grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“Let’s do this!” You said.

And Saeran nodded.

With that, the both of you opened the door, and started to make your way out of Mint Eye.

[witchysleepingbeauty]

Hi Reversed✖️ here (with the P (pain) Parent)

Your answer helped me. So thakn u for that!

So since I last wrote, I realised u were so right about my assumptions and limiting beliefs. And I think I'm deep down scared of, and dread, what P would say to me

Thanks for ur advice abt speaking up. I didn't mention it earlier but I do speak up, when possible (only I try to limit it when a guest is around coz then I'd get a label of being ill mannered and rude in front of guests, which will ofc mean P is a 'bad, unworthy P' then I'll be hearing about it for a whole week)

I sometimes feel me speaking up makes things worse? I try to let my voice be heard when P is being unfair (aka when they assume wrong intentions about me doing a particular thing, when they don't bother asking me directly but instead mutter or scream assumptions of what goes on in my mind)

Like, the reason I'm writing to u rn, is coz a little while back, P finally consented to go to the hospital. P asked for their usual water bottle for the trip to the hospital, and I brought another one as it's much lighter for them to hold... They effing screamed at me for being LAZY for bringing the 'wrong' bottle with the most disgusted tone ever

Everyone in the room witnessed that... Not the best feeling in the world

And this, I thought to myself, this is exactly why I don't try to be helpful to them. This is why I feel I should stop trying to give them a chance. It's not about being misunderstood, it's the fact that if there's me in a room, I'm the one who'll have to deal with their BS behavior, (and btw if u rmmbr I mentioned silent treatments earlier? They've been using this tactic on me WHEN I actually speak up and 'accidentally' call them out on their ridiculous and sometimes-too-far-gone behavior to me sigh) and it used to make me mad, but now it's just so sad lol

Anf the worse thing is,their go-to reply to why they're like this to me is bcoz 'ive made them' like this. If they could clearly tell me whats their problem with me, in a straightforward way, at least I'd know why, right?

Yes, about those limiting beliefs. I tried to get clear on my relationship with P, and as I wrote, the words flew out. I didn't know I had so much repressed emotions regarding how they make me feel. Idk how to deal with this? Just re-reading the page of my deep-mind's views on P immediately causes those emotions to brim up. What next?

On a deeper level, let's say I manifested this coz of EIYPO, how do I change it? I sometimes dissociate coz of them and imagine taping their mouth shut when it gets too much

I was never like this. And I don't want to disrespect them to this extent. Yet how else can I cope? We really used to be so close, yk? That's like an old story which I cant even remember

And one more thing, I wanna say there ARE moments when they're in an okay mood with me. It's more like when they lose, they lose it big time. Whether it's over a small thing or a big thing. I wish I could cut myself out of their life, forever. Maybe then they'd be happy? Or rather... Maybe they'd then find another scape goat... 😬 Lol, thats not a solution based on manifesting that I'm looking for, anyway

Looking forward to ur help

Reversed✖️

It’s normal to feel bad, you have so many years of mistreatment build up inside and you are not dealing with them.

Also I am not sure why you’re trying to keep up appearances at this point. You are allowed to lose it, break down, yell, tell them how bad of a parent and a person they are. You’ll feel so much better to let it out.

And still I see a lot of limiting beliefs and repetition of the old story. “I cannot speak up because it makes things worse”, “they blame me”, they do this”, they do that”

If you want to change the situation and you don’t want to leave them then you need to change your beliefs about them.

“They treat me right”

“They show me respect”

“They always speak to me lovingly”

“They love me”

“They are affectionate to me.”

And stop repeating all the old stuff.

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[melodiouscharmxx]

thats amazing 🤍🤍 heres the situation and i truly appreciate the chance// its an old situation but i feel so overwhelmed with it i even been dreaming about it when i thought i moved on ///// my name is Athari my ex name is Abdulrahman .. we broke up last year (it been on and offs for three years but the last year one was the last) i want to know if there’s a chance of any type reconciliation and what are his feelings and thoughts about me rn .. or should i jus move on with my life 🤍 ps: hes in a relationship rn but i dont know how serious it is.

How I phrased your question: Is there a chance of any reconciliation between Athari and Abdulrahman?

I see a maybe.

3 of pentacles (r) clarified by 3 of cups. This can insinuate your discontentment for his relationship status or he’s feeling discontent in his current relationship. The depiction of 3 people on the cards make me think this. I feel that you still have deep feelings for him subconsciously. You mentioned you’re dreaming of him, this could mean he’s either manifesting/recalling the past with you or you are the one reminiscing about the past. The way you felt with him and how you may wish to have some part of that relationship/emotion back.

2 of swords clarified by 9 of cups (r). This connection cannot continue at the moment due to him being in another relationship and I feel there might be something off about this connection. You may feel uncertain if you really want him back and or you believe things will get better the next time you’re together. There’s an illusionary feeling here. Some expectations just aren’t going to happen. I’m also hearing “unfair?” Side note, if this is his energy I’m picking up, I dunno if the label of taken is just to boast about it or if he’s only in it for momentary gratification. If this is you seeking/wanting these good times back, ask yourself if you want a day or a decade and more. Also, by chance if you’re communicating with his current partner or get the opportunity to, try not to entertain fights/aggression like “I’ve known him longer/intimately more than you” sort of banters. Take the high road and wave that energy off.

Knight of cups (r) clarified by king of wands. Ask yourself this, do you actually want him back or are you jealous he’s move on? There’s something here that’s not clicking with me. Someone’s ego is getting in the way of rationality or like what’s reality?? I feel there’s huge jealousy and disconnection here. The knight card (r) leans more to jealousy and disappointment but it’s clarified by the King of wands? My interpretation would be that you’re drawn to his energy and past memories but are saddened in current time since those days are gone?? This or he’s a smooth talker and if he does get back in touch with you, be careful. Cause if he’s not serious and the connection just sours again, then you’ll just be in this cycle of on and off.

Should Athari move on from him?

I sense the answer is all up to you. This relationship might be karmic or highly spiritually related.

The sun, 4 of wand (r), 5 of (r) indicate a no, the clarifiers: Judgement, page of swords (r), and knight of swords indicates yes. Overall here’s my take, please take this with a grain of salt:

If he reaches out and claims to have changed or is more open to you (vise versa you to him) then try sticking with him. For this relationship to work out you both need to let go of whatever doesn’t assist in the improvement of the connection. Should you guys break up again, do not let him back in. While the face placements of the cards indicate you shouldn’t move on yet (not including the clarifiers) the back of the deck is the 10 of swords. Indicating an ending or a painful/emotionally traumatic situation. The meaning of the cards themselves speak on letting go and bring in the new, lean to more stable energy. If this relationship isn’t health objectively please do not get back with this person. Spirit could be indicating that should you get back with him, he will teach you an important lesson that you’ll carry on when/if you seek out another relationship. Could be a commitment test or how you should be treated kind of ordeal. Trust your intuition and decide with both mind and heart 💚

Your charms:

Pisces, Rainbow Flag, Lock, Fairy, Acorns, Bee and the letter R

My interpretation:

Pisces is giving me that dreamy energy. But can also stand for illusions and fantasy. If this is referring to the savior or saving complex, be careful. I don’t know his sign but maybe he’s got Pisces in his big 3 or natal chart. The Flag in this spread makes me feel there’s a sense of pride. In the reading egoism was a feeling I was picking up on and both pride and ego are similar but not the same. There’s disillusionment that needs to be addressed here. In this connection even if there’s instances of satisfaction, be sure it’s not just out of desire and there’s emotional depth here. The lock here makes me think that either you or him isn’t being honest with each other. Something needs to come out for stability. This or he’s working on his current relationship and he’s on lock and out of your reach. The fairy indicates divinely guided or spirit is looking after you. Acorns to me signify birth/rebirth, endurance, beginnings and growth. If you both choose to work on this connection together it could grow into something good. Or you’ll part ways knowing you did what you could and still have grown from the experience. The bee symbolizes celebrations and community to me. You could meet him again in a public gathering or during a time of celebration/ holiday. Or potentially if your focus on your self and review/analyze what you want in a relationship, you could meet someone new. The words that come to mind for your letter are: Return, Rebirth, Reschedule, Reason, Real, Realizations, Rome, Ramirez, Rhodonite

🙏🏼Thank you for you question, please let me know if this resonates🍀

[satoruvt]

fanfic writer tag game <3

helloooo <3 thank u for tagging me @hannie-dul-set this is so cute lol

ummmm! i think i will tag. @leejuyeeon and @seokmingiggles !! and as always anyone else who wants to <33

peum ~

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

omg lets see if i can do this in order. i think the first fandom i ever wrote fanfic for was creepypasta LMAOO and then... fairy tail? then 5 seconds of summer, then maybe it 2017?? voltron legendary defender, detroit become human, monster prom and mystic messenger kind of overlapped, the arcana !!! then my hero academia, haikyuu, a Little bit of demon slayer... i think thats it lol

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

seventeen is all for rn, but i’m thinking of also writing for mha again and adding jjk!!

3. how long have you been writing?

oh wow for like... probably around 6 years? maybe 6 and a half

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

rn just tumblr, i used to post more actively on ao3 but i havent since i started writing for kpop

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

ahhh like !!! comfort fics!!! i think theres something really sweet in those unspoken feelings during moments you think you’ll never forget... the idea of being with someone and you’re just so sure they’re your favorite person, and then warmth that comes with that realization... wahh

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

oh it depends i think. for longer fics i like to plan them out, but i really wing it with like timestamps or shorter ones

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

ONE SHOTS. my god i fucking suck at multi-chapter shit LMAOO ive only done 1 series like that and it was so rough for me lol

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

hm how do i explain this... anything that makes sense? however long it takes for it to feel like the chapter/fic is summed up or completed. i used to worry about word counts a lot but now i rarely pay attention to them, both in reading and writing

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

if we’re talking about multi-chaptered, then the color of you wins at 17k !! in terms of one shots, it’s for now; forever at 9k!

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh boy. i think... anything from the last like. 8 months? my svt stuff for sure!! i went a while without writing in between like january-late november 2020, and i was worried that my writing would suffer a lot... it took a sec for me to get back into the groove of things but i’m feeling happier than ever with the stuff i write now. i feel like ive matured about the way i approach my own writing and ideas, and how i do everything, and my fics make me really proud. ive started writing within different aus that i hadnt touched before, or talking about different feelings or ideas, etc... i really feel like ive grown with this most recent burst lol, and i love working on them! i get so hyped up when im in the middle of writing or even planning, im just so excited to share all of it hehe

11. favorite request you've have written and why (if any?)

ah its been so long since ive worked with requests that i cant remember anything LOL

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

yes. it is comfort and content. it is the feeling of love. it is holding hands on a walk in the middle of spring and smelling flowers. it is the sound of leaves when a gust of wind blows past. it is looking into ur lovers eyes and feeling nothing but pure fondness

13. current number of wips?

fuck like somewhere around 20 probably

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i really like repetition (specifically in sentences if that makes sense??), LOTS of unspoken things (even if i picture a fic with an established relationship, i dont say it within the fic; and especially concerning romantic feelings, i love when things go unsaid and are FELT full force), i think a lot of detailed rambling... i really like to try and describe emotions and stuff in the most abstract and obscure ways lol i feel like it makes things a little more palpable and honest

15. a quote you like from a published story

im gonna do a few. Lol. firstly this long one from pretend people can unlearn:

“Are you…” Jeonghan starts, and when you look at him, his eyes are still on the city in front of you. “Are you ever afraid that we’ll fall out of love?”

It never occurred to you that this was love. It’s not like the love you’ve experienced in the past, not even close. But maybe… maybe that’s why you never leave, why you hold yourself back from certain arguments like it might fix everything. Maybe love is the reason why Jeonghan still seems to believe in you. Why he promises he’ll be the best thing for you despite always breaking that promise.

(Is it love, a voice in your head questions, or is it longing?)

It takes you a while to respond. “I don’t know,” you end up saying, because you really don’t. Jeonghan turns his head and looks at you, and you half expect him to start an argument in the middle of night, out on the street like this. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Would that… be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan answers, just like you. His voice is soft. You want to reach for his hand just to hold it. “You’re still…”

He pauses, like he’s trying to find the right word. You let him take his time, for once, instead of accusing him of the worst. “I’m still?”

“Everything,” he tells you. He looks so sad and you reach out for him because it’s the only thing you can offer. You think the worst thing about your relationship with Jeonghan is that you will always believe him when he gets like this, just like you’ll believe him when he takes it back in the heat of a fight.

next is from like there isn’t something missing <3

But you’re crying into his chest because it’s not you, and it’s not him. Seungcheol wonders if it was always meant to be like this, if the two of you were always meant to part or if something… if something just went wrong, somewhere. A bump that did a bit more damage than either of you thought.

He tries not to think about it now. Tears fill his own eyes as he presses a kiss to your hair because he loved you. He truly did.

“I was so lucky to love you,” he murmurs, voice a cracked whisper. “I’m so happy I got the chance.”

When Seungcheol wakes up the next morning in an empty bed, he’s not surprised. But the Post-It note that’s dressed in your handwriting…

Well. It’s over.

and this last one from only for you, i will dance !!

“This will always be our own time,” he says. “We’ll meet here.”

You know. He says it every time. It never fails to make your heart soar.

“Our thirteenth month,” you say, just like every time. Chan smiles.

He kisses you so strong you feel yourself falling.

16. a quote from an unpublished story

ahh ok ill do a few here too!!! one is something ive begun writing, the other is one that i’ve just been working on planning out <3

Smoke blows past somebody else’s lips and partially obstructs Wonwoo’s view of you.

He hasn’t been to a party like this in a long time. It’s elegant, more of a gala than anything. He can’t remember who threw it or for what reason. It doesn’t really matter, he supposes, watching you make conversation with the partygoers. They all have old money to throw around, the symbolism stitched into their suit jackets and red-rimmed heels; remnants of it left on tables and in the contents of expensive cigars.

You play them like you are one of them, tell them the right things with a silver tongue. Wonwoo always watches, plays the part of an observer. It’s impressive, the way you float around the room like it’s nothing.

Wonwoo observes; Wonwoo knows things.

and the second one...

"you don't know me," you respond. your voice carries no bite, just a fact, and joshua knows this

"i want to," he says after a second. "if you'll let me."

and he's asking permission to be your friend, to be close to you, something so tender and strangely polite

it makes you feel almost sad

"don't expect too much," you say, a little teasing. joshua only smiles

17. space for you to say something to your readers

wahhh thank you all so much!!! when i first got into writing for kpop it was a lot different mostly because i think... i was writing stuff for different anime before, and i had built up a big following because of that and my works always did like, really exceptional in terms of notes and feedback and such, and getting into kpop... has been rough on that end 💀 but i appreciate your support thus far, even if it’s small... i’m still working towards a standard that i have for myself!!! so please be patient with me, thank you for the support !!

also please find it in yourself to leave lil comments or any sort of feedback... please..... PLEASE... any creator ever understands this struggle please always try to do this!!! for me and for any other creator you follow and enjoy content from <333

[bucksbisexual]

so....... i watched ep6 since apparently i like pain now and oh my fucking GOD

first of all, INKORN!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!

but also, INKORN TTTTTTT_TTTTTTT

TEARS PEOPLE. T EA R S

okay let me start from the beginning because what an episode yall

so . we start with a flashback and it was cute ! if only the last one was too HAHAHAHAHimcrying

team being like “hm...... manaow and del are really close lately......... Are They........” after i literally said it out loud was the biggest shared braincell moment i’ve ever had in my life and mind u i have a big sister who i’m very close with lmaO

(also, women are gay too pharm smh)

win being a little bitch with his I’m An Adult Bitch You Can’t Tell Me Shit to team god i love him sjfhksjf

DEAN HOLDING PHARM’S HAND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pharm just going into cardiac arrest after dean interlocks their fingers is the biggest mood ever

also manaow baby that’s- that’s not how you check if someone is sick JKSHFSJHS

“don’t forget to eat your lunch” “don’t forget to swallow it too” “beware of choking” THEY REALLY- FHSKGFSLJJFKS

yes i went back to the episode to write that i have no memory whatsoever

i was so scared when dean had his flashback while driving like i was praying to every god in existence for him to not crash,,,, the flashback was cute though

that tear though........ that shit Hurt

but korn saying “like” !!!!!!! half of my brain was like “HE!!!!! LIKES!!!!!! HIM!!!!!!!!” and the other half was just “omg like ram” lmao

pharm calling manaow beautiful ;; yes she is she’s the most beautiful girl ever i love her with my whole heart

that mf guy who doesn’t know the meaning of no can CHOKE (also i heard the actor’s problematic or sumn???? so fuck him too bYe)

thankfully pharm is That bitch and shut him up not once not twice but a shit ton of times in like,,,, less 2 minutes

that’s my mans man hell yeah

apparently everyone in dean’s faculty knows pharm?????? lmaoooooo but when those 2 (and later 3) tried to flirt with him i was like???????? get tf out?????????? out here abusing of pharm’s niceness smh

thankfully dean came to the rescue jsfhsk

bro when pharm picked a thread and it led to dean i was like....... oh my God they actually did that

the FORESHADOWING bro

also that kiss scene......................... perfect i loved it even though i hate their outfits so much but i can get over it if it gives us this amazing scene

dean just ;; being patient with pharm and asking if he’s okay and just asking him until he gives oral (is it vocal? girl idk) answers to the questions he makes just to be sure ;;

god why can’t men be like dean why do u have to be Assholes smh

AND THE RED THREAD!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

dean making pharm wear his jacket sjfhksj u couldn’t be more territorial bro literally (and apparently) everyone knows you’re into each other theres truly no need jfshkf

“if it doesn’t invade our privacy too much, i think it’s okay. also, i think it’s a good way to let that person know that he shouldn’t mess with someone who isn’t single”

first of all, DEAN U ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART

second of all, the shadeeeeeeeeee lmao yes bitch drag his ass

and last, SKJLFHGLJKHSLKHKSJG

thank u for listening to my tedtalk

i will repeat myself, why can’t all men be like dean

also, a bonus: i of course went to the episode to get the dialogue and i saw the name lemon lemon and i was like “wait..... is that manaow???” so i google translated her name and it does mean lemon omg thats SO cute i love her even more rn

okay i don’t know if it’s only me but the girls from the cooking club? the best girls ever me thinks

okay we’re approaching the last part of the episode yall i felt so many emotions in like 13 minutes

we start with the worst, a Flashback.

i literally saw the outfit and started crying. like. no joke.

the mother??? sister?????? aunt?????? being hella worried and in being like “it’s okay i’ll be back in like . 2 seconds”

THIS BTICH NEVER CAME BACK

the little girl please i’m legit going to cry again thinking about her and imagining her waiting for in to come back home and just.... not really understanding whats happening when her mother (im guessing here) starts sobbing when she picks up the phone

OH MY GODDDDDDDD

also according to like,,, timeline and shit inkorn were  from the 60s or 80s right???? which means she’s still alive if nothing has happened to her..................

HAHA so much fun in this blog! just joy laughter and happiness!

also it was in’s birthday.............. oh my goodness

okay moving on to something that hurts less! team being the dunk boy on the booth omg win this is not how u flirt

also i realised that the open house thing happens like... mid first semester so it hasn’t been that long since deanpharm know of each other/have been talking damn bro

win teasing pharm is like,, one of my favourite things lmao i might do a gifset of these moments when i finish the drama if i’m not too lazy

deanpharm holding hands in public tho ;;;;;;; ok bitch call me single and ugly a little less louder

win though SJFKHS *looks at team’s hand* team: no. go away

oh god oh god oh godddddddd here comes the thread talk

the moment team said suicide i stopped the episode because i thought Something would happen to pharm but oh GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING WHAT HAPPENED

THE STARES!!!!!!!! THE REALISATION!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE “PROMISE” AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT THE FUCKUGISFUIKGJHSLGWJ

i will literally never recover

also i paused that scene so much just to scream into my comfort stuffed toy and i’m so sorry for her

i also couldn’t help but think of how the others at the table were like because if that was me idk what i’d do

i might cry or be like “wow u guys are such great actors” but inside my head because i’m an introvert

but god that was,,,,,,, yeah

and when they of course showed The flashback scene and i saw in’s outfit i cried because he truly never went back home

okay i think that’s it i literally took almost an hour to write this because i tried following the episode while having a thousand thoughts in my head + make lots of typos lmao

i hope these aren’t too bothersome to u guys ;; i post these because i need to share my thoughts somewhere but if someone doesn’t want to see them u can mute the tags i use in these posts or something hhhhh

i might use an specific one for these tho because if i gotta make 17 of these at least let’s make them be organised some way,,,,,

alrighty that’s all byebyeeeee

[abloomingperiod]

junmyeon as a bf

the softest of the softies

kim junmyeon is an old-fashioned guy

and i’m not saying that in terms of being conservative or anything, ‘cuz i really hope he isn’t

i mean in the sense of love

like you know that kind of person who dreams the whole picture

like

he dates for a reason

unlike other members, junmyeon isn’t the type to not think about the future

being a leader makes you like that

but this gets less harsh on him when u arrive in his life

yk that whole romantic comedy movie where a guy runs into someone and it’s this beautiful woman with the biggest smile and they fall for each other and shit

well.......not exactly your case

he indeed ran into you with an iced tea in hands

except you didn’t smile at him

you basically screamed “SHIT IM SORRY ILL PAY U BACK”

he got so flustered w your reaction like

this really pretty girl just offered me some iced tea”

he was all like nonononononoooo don’t say that it’s fine don’t worry aha

you kept insisting but were late for work so you made him promise to come back to that bakery the day after bcs he WOULD be paid back no matter wHAT

he didn’t feel the need butyou were cute and he wasn’t with a thick schedule so why not right

so yeah ofc prince suho showed up

the next day he entered the place and saw you

you were so pretty watching you crinkling your nose over the hot coffee in your hands was already a payback

a cute one

cmon he’s cringey give him a chance

you bowed at each other and he realized you didn’t mention for Once between the whole minute after the accident and his arrival abt his name or profession as an idol

which for him

was nice

not a big deal, but nice

after you gave him his iced tea he was so polite you actually smiled bcs ajshskjsks cute ?

and then you started talking for a while

you introduced yourself, told him abt your dream to become a writer someday and he !!!!!

okay junmyeon easy on the hearbeats you got it

he just thought of this as such a COOL dream

writing for a living

now he was like this pretty girl... is a poet

i know

lame

but he’s adorable so who cares tbh

he talked to u abt being an idol and how was the position of the leader

you listened to every word and even though you lost a fee of them along with the honey like voice and puffy cheeks of his, you loved hearing abt it

after like 2 hours he had to go bcs schedule

but before you parted your way you had to go to the bathroom

when you went pay for your payback iced tea, you hear a waiter asking “mrs y/n? i believe that for you”

no shit there was the waiter holding a cappuccino

you got like Dude. there must’ve been a mist-

you turn the cup and there it is:

“for y/n

i loved the iced tea but since my goodbyes were a little earlier i most definitely own you a payback too. how abt sushi? xx” and the waiter hands you a note with his name and number

and that’s how you started seeing each other

jun is a quiet person so he won’t be like vocal abt developing a crush on you more and more

it would b like

you guys would hang out sometimes

and little by little he would catch himself getting the heart eyes

like you’re at a coffe shop

you would get passionate talking about some movie or song and suddenly there’s a drop of coffee on the side of your lip. you didn’t notice but he did but he thought you looked so cute popping off about ur favorite music he would just sit there like,,, 💖nvm💖

and with those little stuff he would catch himself thinking yup they’re gonna b mine

so one day he went like soooo maybe i’m catching feelings i didn’t know this was happening sorry??? so i think u should know that bcs it’s abt u... i’m fancied by u i didn’t mean it to happen

like straight up he APOLOGIZED

FOR LIKING U

you were like goshkjsjksj so cute

and decided to play w him a little

“so you don’t want to like me” “NONONOOO THATS NOT WHAT I MEA-” “jk i got it i really like you too and maybe we could kiss to see what happens”

he combusted

so yeah you’re dating that’s what happened

so caring literally sO CARING

calls you on a daily basis when he’s away to talk abt the weather the boys his breakfast how much he misses you how he saw those flowers outside and it reminded of you or how he will bring you to that country when it’s vacations

he’s such a husband material fuck me

keeps notes of things you like so he can hit the high score on important dates

talking abt dates

fancy

i mean he’s bourgeoisie ofc it’s fancy

such a lovely boyfriend i’m actually sad

jun is restaurants with low lights, candles, roses and holding your hand while talking about how he never seemed to figure out the food app to find a cool place to go to so he just asked chanyeol with a pout on his lips

“you’re such an old man” “i’m simple it’s different”

on your 1 year anniversary he took you to a boat ride on a lake witha guy playing violin and wine and cheese waiting for you

simple my ass

keeps bringing coffee and flowers for you every friday night you get together bcs it’s your “tiny vacations” as he calls it

on weekends with you the only ppl he answers is either manager or a serious question from the boys/his family

and it’s always a short “yes” or “no” or “👍🏻”

fuck it he’s with his baby leave him alone

loves cooking with you

like fuck it if it’s not that tasty he just LUUUVES doing it with you

probably because he gets to hug you a lot

like you’re in the stove and he had already placed everything in its own place so he goes behind your figure, hugs your waist and places his lips on your shoulder to give you tiny pecks and praise your cooking

“junmy this is practically burnt” “you’re the best cooker i know”

once you guys were enjoying a whole ass week together and the last time you were together for more than a day were like 6 months before

you were so all over each other he went to do the same thing and you guys ended up making out in front of a precooked pan of french fries

long story short, your toasted it and only saw that coming bcs jun went to embrace your waist and his fingers touched the hot pan

“that happened bcs of you and your teenager behavior” “YOU COULD’VE MOVED” “I WAS TRAPPED”

so guess what you did after you applied some salve om his fingers

he was staring @ u all 💖💖💖💖💖

you were like ,,,what

he just shrugged and murmured “you’re beautiful”

that’s right

you fucked

not fucked in a Fucked way

yall made love

kim junmyeon is all about luv

i remember someone posting here that he probably fucked like white people and i-

that person ruined it for me

i hate yall

i will defend him till the end of time my boi DOES NOT fuck like a white person

takes it very seriously as he sees it as an opportunity to shower u with the love u deserve

on that day you actually convinced him you should do the hard work

HELL YEAH YOU RODE THAT BITCH

jun seems like soft dom for me like just bcs he’s in charge for most of the time doesn’t mean youon get to do a thing

that time as you rode him you got very like Very excited but you saw in his eyes how desperate he was to touch you entirely so you catch his hand and kiss his fingertips slowly

he kept smiling for you saying “god you are so beautiful” “i love you so much”

but you’re a little shit and always tries and bring his rough side out

so you open your mouth and lick his two burnt finger from the knuckles to the tips

he got so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not really a vocal guy

heavy sighs and low groans are it for junmyeon

very into dirty talk

but a fancy one

“does my baby likes it when i make her beg?” “look at me, love. do you want it from where i can kiss your back or your breasts?” “you’re mine to take and no one else”

we don’t support women treated as objects but this is a sexual environment and you’ve always consented him to say things like that in bed

he’s a gentlemen fuck it

once you were so horny you straight up said “i don’t give a fuck about formality just make me cum at least three times”

he got 😳 for a sec but got your point

not a rough lover but once you get in a fight

bitch

you’re both pretty mature ppl so every rare time you fight it’s very Very serious

will kiss you until your both breathless just so you can not even catch your breath bcs he will be kissing your neck and liking your skin

slaps your butt?

absolutely

a fucking lot

“funny how you turn shut the fuck up as soon as i lay my hands on you”

makes you strip for him

has a thing for watching where your bodies connect

call him baby and he’s got a 3 secs tops soft jun

like a little grin with puffy cheeks

and he’s back with the restless pounding

bathtub aftercare is a must

massages your feet as you talk sweet nothings for him

if you’re feeling feisty might get a romantic round two

loves doing it slowly so he can drag it to the point you get so hot and bothered you beg

“oh god- just please- jun, faster”

likes it when you rub his back after

get a shot of soft myeonie post-sex

lays in his stomach and quietly asks “can you”

you lay there also on your stomach and rubbing his back drawing circles and talking about life

once he got so full of idk emotion?? love?? idk never been there

he just poured a whole “marry me”

like dude.

“WHAT” “not today, like... in a few years maybe idk forget it”

he closed his eyes to dismiss your reaction and just felt a warm peck on his naked shoulder

“of course i’ll marry you a few years”

his eyes shot open like This woman. the loml. dead ass said yes to my hypothetical proposal”

he actually got emotional

“kajsksjsksjsk really?????????v

“yes really”

and there was a teardrop

you felt like dying

i mean I feel like dying rn

doesn’t say it but thinks abt having kids someday

and u know that bcs honestly it’s suho everybody just Knows that

his parents? ofc they know you

exo? absolutely sure they know you

“one day we’re gonna have a dinner on like christmas with my family and yours” “baby they don’t even live in korea” “i don’t care we’ll pay” “STOP”

really treasures your relationship like i’m not here to play games i’m past mid-20’s this is Serious

and because he’s so worried and serious he nevers seems to let loose

which is probably normal since he’s a leader

but it makes him so !! all the time u get worried

once he actually CRIED out of stress

and you ofc were there

you kept hugging him tightly and slowly rocking his body with yours kissing his tears away as he kept softly saying “i’m fine, don’t worry”

you didn’t stop worrying

you said “if you’re fine then i can stay here hugging my boyfriend”

he nodded and kept sobbing for a little while

his head was pounding so you literally laid him down and cuddled him in your arms, fingers between his locks and hot breath on his neck

he once said the sound of your breath calmed him

so that’s what you did

you calmed him

and that’s everything he ever wanted

someone to be there for him on tough times like he’s always there for everyone

he loves the fact you’re always so calm and ready to solve any problem that appears

he loves the calmness and ““““normal”””” atmosphere you bring to him

after all those years of hardship and responsability

you showed him he could be a leader and have more fun on a daily basis

he deadass thinks abt your marriage

like it’s barely 6am, he wakes up and sees you sleeping next to him, hair everywhere on the pillow and mouth open

his heart goes 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

his arms goes to your sleeping body

& his mind “i’m gonna marry this girl someday”

idk i feel like i could write a whole ass fanfiction of 50 chapters on suho and id still have 100 scenarios of him in mind

i honestly love him sm

such a nice boy

he deserves so much more

give lota of love to him he’s perfect

that’s it i’m done

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 15

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY LOSES THEIR SHIT ON MAIN:

“Tell her I said: fuck you, you miserable, conniving bitch. I don’t answer her summons. I don’t obey her orders. I’m through. I’m through with her, with all of you—”

THERE’S LORE, BUT IMPORTANTLY MURPHY REMEMBERS WHY THEY THINK CINDER’S HOT. LITERALLY.

already??? already??? yes, already. this chapter is called ‘nothing personal’ anmd i think that this is a lie. this is abt to get very personal very quickly.

It had taken two more days for Glynda’s soul to become bearable enough for Cinder to sit next to her on a bus.

out of the funniest lines they could have used to open the chapter up, this is just Peak. there’s so many moving parts to this. glynda’s rank soul. cinder having to be nice for TWO DAYS to make her chill out. the fact they’re taking the most menial form of transport of all time. oh my god they were sat beside each other. this is already so funny.

Gravity Dust glittered like volcanic glass.

👈😎👈 we sure love volcanoes around here huh

The clearing Cinder found was some twenty minutes from where she left Glynda with instructions for something salty for her.

im almost POSITIVE im not supposed to find these lines funny but cinder you are RADIATING salt you are COMPOSED ENTIRELY of salt please. you’ve asked for smthng salty and glynda’s gonna come back announcing she’s foiled all yr plans on accident again.

Mercury had stopped sending messages a month and a half ago. Emerald’s last one was a week old.

im almost definitely mentioned it in a prior liveblog but its worth remembering: cinder’s relationship w/ merc and em rly was the deciding factor in me suddenly loving her as a character and i just. every interaction they have hurts so good. cinders got TWO kids and even if her face says otherwise she loves them very much and that heals me on the inside

“There’s no way anyone knows about this island. We’re the only ones out here. Merc and I have to get his shitty frozen pizzas airshipped in.”

“Still. Be careful.” She paused for a moment. “...Is that all he’s eating?”

“You know he’d die before he ate a vegetable.”

“He will, at this rate.”

I LOVE U MOMMA CINDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is SO good. this section HEALS ME!!!!!!!! which is good because i have a feeling the rest of this will gore me alive

"I promise. At the end of all of this, I'm coming back and I'm not leaving again. Trust me."

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA god u cant tell thru text alone but this section is K I L L I N G me and H E A L I N G me and also KIL L I

“It doesn’t have anything to do with trust,” Cinder said, miserably. “I need you to be safe.”

N G M E

The line between us and them had felt so concrete.

god i just. theres so much i still cant say that isnt 👈👈👈😨👈👈👈 but cinder and hati and all this other STUFF happening in the bg is so good and i just love how nuanced this dumbass is. cinder fall, the woman who never wins, and her brief moments of comfort. she is my ANGEEEEEEEEEEL

Now the only thing left was to deliver her to Atlas; if she had to speak with her more to do that, she would.

Not that she wanted to have to admit that to Hati.

cinder:there’s a lot of we and our going on and i’m a little nervous that the more we talk the more thats gonna happen and i gotta say; not a fan.

and [Glynda]’s desperate for—”

A heritage? A purpose? Belonging?

“She’s desperate,” Cinder finished, softly. Then: “She’s coming willingly.”

this might be another 👈😎👈 situation or im just drawing parallels like a three year old with a newfound ruler but HRM. CINDER. HRM.

Rather, her stomach twisted at the implications. Everything was ready. The machine worked. All that was left was to deliver the final piece.

“Okay. Good.” It was good. It was the culmination of years of work.

whats good and fun is watching cinder wrestle w/ her own humanity and its rly good because even as she tries her very best to use ppl to her own ends that pesky lil soft bitch inside makes her second guess everything and its GREAT fun. u can rly see that as soon as she spends longer than an allotted 10 minutes w/ somebody she starts being like ‘hrm. oh no’. oh cinder. u soft bitch. ilu.

The spot beneath his wing, though… Cinder folded into it as though it were meant for her, as though they were meant for each other, bodies fitted so easily. Here, safe, she closed her eyes and dreamed bleakly of the days to come.

i swear to god i cannot wait until [redacted] and [redacted] and [REDACTED] happens cause then i can lose my shit abt this ALL OVER AGAIN but for now. for now. immerse myself in cinder cuddles. im holding back but on the inside im feral

but Cinder was all calm, sliding through the trees like she belonged here. Like it was her domain by birthright.

FERAL.... FERAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because they were not friends, Glynda asked, “Where are we going?”

i love that glynda has to preface it like a reminder. because they were not friends. because she cannot trust winter. because she blocked oz’s number lmao. it’s great seeing how much more... clinical, i guess, glynda’s thoughts are, and it’s a great way to show the narratives differences? its GOOD is what im trying 2 say on main,

Instead, she complained, “It’s so difficult to be so wanted.”

firstly: i love cinder “i have a complaint” fall is secondly: i am going to read into this. i am going to read into this and divine a second meaning. i am reading into it.

Cinder emerged from the dark like a leviathan sloughing off a sunless sea. It rippled around her shoulders, swallowed the back of her skull, but the only sharpness to her was her smile. It was the first time Cinder had smiled since returning from her meeting with the Manticore.

oho. ohoohohohoooohohohooOUGHHOHOHO she hot. nasty mean lady big hott.

“You don’t scare me,” Glynda insisted.

“Silly you,” said Cinder. “Come on. I’ll lead.”

hohogughgohohoghgh f flirtign.......................,,,,,,,,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

a faint light was stirring to life before her—suffusing out along Cinder’s chest and throat, spilling from her heart and out through her skin. In the beginning, it was so faint it seemed to be an illusion; but no, soon enough it was undeniable, and Glynda could even make out the rough shapes of the wall and floor.

YEEEEEEEEES i love. glowy lantern cinder. like theres a lot of fun little canons abt cinder in this fic i adore but the fact that she glows is like fuckin TOP. look at her. lil candle baby. shes like a microwave bean toy. i adore her.

She walked like a queen through her domain, seemingly irrespective of where on Remnant they were; even here, underground, in forgotten left-behind places, Cinder reigned.

god im sorry im too busy being gay to even be paying attention to anything rn i LOVE cinder to DEATH,,,,,,,,,, she knows shes the thing 2 be feared around here and its so good. i cant wait for her to open her big mouth and fuck it up again!!!

“High Leader Khan requires your presence in Mistral, Ms. Fall. She advises that you attend promptly, in order to discuss the missing members of our organization.”

A hum. Cinder said, “I don’t want to.”

GHSDFGSDFGHKJDF cinder you are. smthng else. shes just so LIKE THAT. what a great chapter for cinder this has been im SIPPIN baby

okay im doing a lot of leaping haead here and its not for lack of having anything 2 say in fact its QUITE the opposite because this whole bit is. wow. we got lore??? lore??? abt so many things??? what does any of it mean????? I AM NOT SURE BUT IM LOVIN IT (tm)

“It’s not a Semblance, idiot.” The control in Cinder’s voice was all staccato, pitching cold to inferno in an instant. “It was a gift.

okay bear with me for this JUICY LORE but i am Deeply fascinated by this section. im not gonna. say anything because idk how this is tying up yet (bear with) but HOO. HOOOOOOO. im trying to like keep grabbing sections but this whole part is SO GOOD i am loving-- like-- id have to-- TRUST ME THE OG WASNT AS SPICY AS THIS OKAY

THIS IS SO MUCH SPICER AND ITS GOOD

Cinder glowed like the magma heart of a volcano.

ITS SPICY ITS GOOD ITS 👈😍👈

im gonna have to reread this bit to get the full effect because the downside of a liveblog like this is having to stop-start but OUGHGHGHGUGHUGH THE LORE,,, THE MASKS,,, THE FANG??? also sienna dont listen 2 her baby i love u too

Cinder looked like a line to be crossed, and even though they weren’t friends—rather the opposite—Glynda found she didn’t want to cross her. Not now, when the emotion was still raw on her face.

oughgh... the vulnerability. cinder... snoft... but also angery 😔

this was SUCH a good chapter im DYING i love cinder in offal hunt to BITS and this arc is already feeding me so much good shit. fuck yea. FUCK YEA. HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

[mysticwhatnow]

Can you make RFA + v + saeran cheats on MC than she knows but they don't know she knows. She take everything she owns and wipe her existence from their home ( takes everything she put and the photos she's in ) than leaves her phone so they won't track her and leave them without a word just a proof of what they did. How would they react to it / how it'll end. I'll leave it to you ^^ thank you :3 bounce is MC was pregnant and didn't tell them.

Oh, jeez, this was slightly difficult! But I hope this is to your liking!

Yoosung

he didn’t know how it happened, honestly??

one day he was at college and the next he was in a bed with another woman?

he felt so bad, he wanted to tell MC but he knew she would probably leave

he couldn’t lose her

so he kept it a secret, and continued the affair with the woman

only because she was helping him study,, uh-huh, sure yoosung

but of course, MC does find out

and b o y is she angry

she’s so upset and she’s so angry with herself for not finding out sooner and upset at yoosung

especially with the baby she just found out she was having with him

and she was so excited about that too!! 

but now she doesn’t know what to do

she ends up wiping everything clean, going incognito completely

she leaves her phone and takes the photos and everything

she doesn’t want any trace 

when he comes home he loses it, he knows what happened and what he just lost

months pass and they’re still hoping she might one day show up again

yoosung ends up seeing her at a market and drops everything

he rushes to her and stops dead in front of her when he sees the stomach bulge

had she moved on?? 

she tries to ignore him and move on but it’s so painful and she’s trying not to cry

he keeps explaining what he did was a mistake and it was reckless and he’s sorry and he won’t do it again

it’s just a lot of frantic apologizing and rambling that she had grown to love

so she gives in, but it’ll take a long time for her to forgive him completely

surprised, he asks her about the baby thinking she was with another guy and stuff 

she doesn’t say anything for a moment and speaks softly

“it’s your child” and he’s d e a d- his child?!?! seemed like the guilt doubled at that 

she had to deal with a child on the way and the fact the father cheated on her

he hugs her close and apologizes more saying he’ll never do that again

in the end, the two end up happy again, plus a tiny little bab!

Zen

it was with one of his co-actors

mc was coming to give him his lunch and walks in his room/thingy ma jiggy

finds him making out with a actor against the wall 

she drops the lunch and doesn’t give it second thought, running off

zen sees her, going to chase after her but the directors and others are getting in the way

when he reaches home, he’s to late, everything it gone

the pictures, the phone is left, and her clothes are gone

how did she move so fast?? 

he ends up alerting the rfa fast, begging for seven and jumin’s help

he needs to find her, he needs to apologize

they search for her and search, but they don’t seem to have any clue where she might be

he’s completely heartbroken, but never gives up

until one day, he gets a call

“are you related to MC?” 

his heart drops because he knows how this works

he explains how he’s her ex, and leaves it at that

“sir, i’m afraid she’s passed away from a car accident.”

just when he thought it couldn’t get worse

losing her? forever?

the doctor also explains how she was pregnant and they delivered the baby before she died

and explained how he was the father

he doesn’t hesitate, he figures it all out, signs papers, whatever. that baby is his and he won’t hurt it

he ends up raising the child and always tells he/she how great mc was

but he still cries as night, because he knows he won’t ever see her.

mamamystic is not a nice person

Jaehee

i can already hear the cries

“jAEHEE WOULD NEVER!!! SHE’S SO INNOCENT!!! PROTECC!!”

please she’d probably be staying at work late right and just is so fucking tired

so this one girl slithers right on up like “hey you need a place to crash?”

and i don’t know about you

but i make the worst mistakes when i’m sleep deprived

so she could’ve easily mistaken this chick for mc 

so she goes, right 

easily submissive, tired, got some of that good puss ya feel

of course, mc being the generous person they are, goes to Jaehee’s work

also to deliver the news that hey, the sperm donor thingy was successful. she was preggo. 

but she gets there, and to her surprise, no jaehee

so she asks around, blah blah, and one person explains how jaehee went home with another chick

now, mc isn’t one to assume, so she calmly leaves and just goes home 

doesn’t even call

she trusts jaehee, maybe she was doing work at the chick’s house

so morning comes, ye?

and jaehee comes home, super early, super super fucking guilty

but oh me oh my mc was there

she was w a t c h i n g 

mc ends up speaking from the couch, all calmly and startling the shit out of jaehee 

“so where were you babe?”

jaehee ends up telling her, furiously apologizing

mc doesn’t really know to react because she?? trusted jaehee??

but she does know what she’s gonna do 

she just,, fucking leaves 

not even saying anything

just out the door

jaehee knows better to stop her so she just

collapses on the couch

doesn’t show up on the chat

neither does mc so both are extremely worried

jaehee leaves for work (jumin forced her), and when she gets back, all of mc’s shit is gone

she doesn’t know how to react, but she buries it well 

she hides all the emotions, she just says “mc left” if anyone ever asks

it got to the point the whole rfa was worried sick 

they couldn’t find mc at all

so they eventually just.. gave up

she became nothing but a distant memory

(hahaha get it i made this ending sad)

Jumin

breathes in. breathes out. 

okay so jumin,,, tsk tsk. he would never ever hurt mc, but a few slip ups happen here and there

im sure something happened at his work, or the dude just fucked up

he probably ended up banging some girl while drunk in a cat suit for god sakes

anyways, he probably would tell mc right away, because he loves her and can’t lose her blah blah

anyways, i’m sure when she found out she was devastated because knowing jumin

she was informed of this over phone while he’s on a trip

the call goes well, she pretends it’s okay but inside she’s breaking

and what’s worse is she was just about to tell him the results came back positive

thats right. mc is pregnant fuckers. 

and she’s just, broken and she doesn’t know what to do except to run

so she does, she packs her shit, everything into the multiple suitcases 

it’s not hard to bypass everyone, if she explains she’s off on a trip to the spa or something

she manages to explain how she’d rather walk to said ‘spa’ to relax 

but really she’s just, leaving

nowhere else to go

she ends up disappearing though, and whenever jumin calls and doesn’t get a answer, he panics and calls the guards

but there’s literally no sign of her, all her pictures are gone

jumin freaks out more because 1. he knows what he did and it’s his fault and 2. he’s worried mc will get hurt

he ends up bringing out the big guns, goes crazy to search for her 

he comes home straight after, alerts rfa and everything. 

everyone’s on a wild goose chase to find her

eventually they find her, thanks to seven finding her friends’ places and doing a big ‘ol search, even if she left her phone

which she obviously did, she’s not stupid

by this time a couple of months has passed, because ya know, i said so

when they find her (she had been staying at a distant cousins house a few states away)

they knocked on the door and it wasn’t the guards or anything, no it was jumin

he looked like a mess, for once in his life

he was acting just like when he lost elizabeth

he begs and begs and apologizes (professionally, ofc)

just kidding

he notices the baby bulge too and it doesn’t take an idiot to do the math and realize

it breaks him even more because she kept it and he didn’t even know

it takes a lot of persuading and a lot of lost trust needed to be rebuilt, but she eventually does come back

she loves him even if he fucked up

many months later, things are back to normal- somewhat

they now have a little tiny munchikin :oo

Saeyoung

big big oof

see now saeyoung,,, saeyoung just fucked up really

he knows it too when he wakes up the next morning and he’s not in the same bed and you aren’t around

and the girl next to him is totally unregistered in his mind and he knows nothing

but unlike the others, saeyoung would probably say something and knowing him, make a small (or large, depending on how he views the situation) deal out of it

either way, mc would be pissed

because last week she found out she was pregnant with his child

so tears running down her face, she actually begins to pack right in front of his eyes

now he’s breaking down, begging her to stop and beginning to cry

he even goes to grab her hand but she yanks it and slaps him right across the face

“don’t fucking touch me, who knows where those hands have been.” she most likely snarled under her breath because WOO she’s upset. 

they don’t have a lot of pictures to begin with, so she doesn’t worry about those. she doesn’t even bother with his phone

as she’s leaving she turns, goes to grab his hand

he thinks she might change her mind or something to keep her from leaving 

but it’s actually just her phone and a sad and broken smile

me rn: nsgrejghkjfjhdfkhdk

and then she just.. leaves. and he can’t track her, he can’t do anything

saeyoung goes… completely opposite

he grows distant with the rfa, and he gets harsh and more cold

jaehee is a CONCERN MOM

thankfully, she has her ways, and her and mc were always close

so she finds where mc is staying (with her parents) and calls

basically she explains and like, begs mc to at least come over

mc can’t really say no. she loves saeyoung and she adores jaehee

so she does, arrives to his place and everything

before she can enter the arabic thing, it opens and seven’s there with tears and almost trips when he bends over and apologizes

like. a lot.

mc got to like 100 before she told him to stop

they talk, obviously, about them and about her baby

yes, saeyoung it’s yours

he’s mixed with sadness and so much joy

months down the road, you guys are better and with a little baby

mc doesn’t regret coming back to saeyoung thank god

Jihyun Kim

oh boy.

now, see here

jihyun probably just did a small fuckity uppity.

basically, he went to a photo contest and won, so a lot of girls were on him 

and drinks were there

and it went from 1 drink, to 2, to 5.

it didn’t go well, especially when mc had traveled all her way to surprise jihyun with her pregnancy test

so when she arrives at his hotel and finds it unlocked with clothes scattered everywhere, her heart drops

then switches to angry like nu-uh hunny no one cheats on me

she walks into the bedroom and tosses clothing at v, giving him a startling wakeup

she’s yelling and ranting and then finally tosses her phone and pregnancy test 

“hope you’re happy” is the last thing she says before slamming the door and leaving

v is.. DISTRESS.

he chases after her, lotsa stumbling and half nakedness too.

but she’s already out of the building

she thankfully gets a ride and manages to find a hotel to stay at

she doesn’t talk to anyone, so v has to suffice for the explanation

it doesn’t go so well either with the group

just like the previous ones, they’re upset and angry

mc definitely never deserved that

and v knows that

so he takes it into his own hand. he doesn’t return, but literaly S E A R C H E S for mc

day and night

it’s becoming draining, and he’s using her phone and only the memories of her to help him

and eventually he finds her

and he’s just, so awful and distressed mc has to double take

“what are you doing v?” and he just, breaks down apologizing

he’s crying, it’s some nasty crying too

he’s begging for her forgiveness, down on his knees and grabbing his hands

mc doesn’t really know what to do,,, honestly

she’s so conflicted? but she knows he loves her and she loves him

so with hesitant moving, she bends down and just,,, hugs him

and if you’ve ever seen someone breaking down worse but because they’re so happy

yeah that’s v lole

they end up staying at the hotel a bit longer to detress and later on, have their baby!!! its very cute and i love v thanks

Saeran

why.

okay so,, i imagine he met them from mint eye? just a friend that also got out of mint eye too?

(oops spoilers)

so anyways they start messaging after saeran and mc start dating and saeran is a bit clueless

until she shows up at their literal house and comes and is like

“mmm yes saeran” and he’s like “nOoOoo!” 

but for plot yea it happened

can you tell im tired

anyways so he wakes up and he realizes and he’s just,,,so guilty

but like saeyoung he’d tell mc

but he’d make it very blunt, yet very emotional so mc is a very big ????????????????

she’s so hurt and so angry, especially after coming back from the doctors

but she can’t just,, leave the two siblings alone

so she ops for the couch, even though saeyoung is confused

when he finds out though he’s so concerned, especially because later during the night he sees saeran occasionally pop his head out to stare at mc who was asleep on the couch

“dude, you fucked up” “it wasn’t my fault?” “????????????”

so saeyoung and him talk about it 

yes, saeran was guilty for going through it, but saeran hasn’t exactly been used to all this 

mc had to understand this, and saeyoung was sure she did

but despite his efforts, saeran and mc can just... not talk 

mc’s to upset and bothered about something, and saeran doesn’t just understand

so when saeyoung finally forces them (with a bit of exasperated yelling)

mc blurts out “im pregnant”

silence.

saeran just... stares? “is it mine?”

“of course it is you dimwit.” 

that breaks a bit of tension because she laughd and saeran cracks a much needed smile

so they do talk

saeran explains his point and mc explains her point

they eventually understand, and comfort each other

mc goes over to hug and saeran’s just... smiling and saeyoung feels proud 

and proud of himself but yknow

later on they have a cute little brown haired baby with orange eyes and theyre so cute!!!!

HEY GUYS!!! IM BACK!! I took a severe long hiatus because I lost interest in Mystic Messenger, but recently got the game again and here I am!! I hope you all haven’t missed me to much. 

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan: 

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right? 

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better 

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes​! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head). 

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids. 

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this! 

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy. 

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read. 

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck” 

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such. 

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

[realevenia-blog]

Part 1

So I’ve done several card readings lately - because that’s something I do when I need some sort of advice - and they’ve all mentioned that I should journal. This probably isn’t ideal considering it’s on a computer, but it’s convenient so it’ll have to do. I think what Im hoping to come out of this is a clearer image of everything thats going on. Like how my subconscious feels.. but I guess it isn’t really my subconscious if it’s conscious thinking? I’m confused mostly about my love life, if you can even call it that. It’s more of a “could-this-be-love” life. Either way I feel like its super cliche but how else am I going to describe it? 

Okay so first there’s *Carper. I talked to Carper a little bit over the summer and had you asked me about him a few months ago, I would’ve definitely tried to make the relationship bigger than it actually was. (Calling it a “relationship” even seems a little much but to be fair, if you look up the definition of relationship it’s basically any kind of interaction between two people and we interacted, damn it.) I mean, obviously we had chemistry and I will say I felt a way about Carper that I never really felt about any other guy. Thinking back on it now though, the truth is I never really had a relationship with any other guy the way mine and Carper’s was. It was only a few weeks, but we spent every single night together. Eventually, it was routine for me to go to work and then meet up with Carper. I would always ask him to come and hang out with me at my house, but he would make a big deal about how he didn’t want to get attached to my family and whatnot. 

❀ SIDENOTE: an important thing you should know about Carper is that he was in a two year relationship and when we started talking, they had only been broken up for three months. Clearly I was a rebound and at the time, I refused to admit it. I can’t ignore that now though. ❀

Anyway, eventually the truth came out about the 12th time I had asked for him to come over. He said, “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.” I was actually kind of relieved to hear this because I was over him bullshitting me. And then, he started to explain how he was feeling which was basically that he was scared, which I let him know I understood because I did, but that didn’t mean that I had to sit around and wait so when he asked if it changed anything, my answer was, “duh.” Then he started freaking out and asked me to meet his family, which I said no to because I knew he was just trying to make things better. When he promised that that wasn’t the case, I decided to say yes even though I know now that I wasn’t ready for anything that big and clearly, he wasn’t either.  So I met his parents and it was really nice and the last week we spent together, I went to his house a few more times. But summer ended and so did my relationship with Carper, because as you might’ve guessed, he wasn’t ready. 

At the beginning of the school year, all I thought about was Carper. I couldn’t really understand why he ended things, because the night before he ended things we almost had sex, but we didn't.. When I asked why he ended it, he was kind of rude. He mentioned that he didn’t realize I was going to get so attached and in the moment that really hurt me but looking back now, I don’t really care all that much anymore. I wouldn’t necessarily say I agree because I know what I felt and im confident in that. I could never apologize for how I feel towards someone. 

Well, in case you haven’t already guessed Carper has come back and my feelings have definitely done a complete 180. Well maybe like 175. I don’t really want to be with Carper. I mean he’s great and I like being around him but im not really interested in that way anymore and I think it’s because of one person and one person only: *Devin.

Devin is someone who is really important to me. I don’t know how to explain it really, cause its unjustifiable since I haven’t even met him. I just have a strong gut feeling that he is who im supposed to be with. Sometimes I think maybe ill look back on this and laugh but as of rn, im sure. I want him and him only. I wish I didnt. I know Devin through mutual friends and we started talking not too long ago. He and i have kind of been through some shit already and it was only in the first two weeks which ill probably get into later. Im stuck between the whole “Love is simple” and “Every relationship has its ups and downs.” When am I supposed to call it? And how am I supposed to call it? I cant switch my feelings off and I also cant understand why my feelings are so strong in the first place. Ive always been super emotional and its hard to explain but this just feels so different. 

To be fair, I felt this way about Carper but not this strong, also this feeling is different. Its more of a don’t let this go feeling.

My head and my heart are never on the same page. With the Devin situation, my head doesn’t even come to play. Its like my heart is so strong that any thought of doubt I have is instantly pushed away. I cant explain it. I’ve always heard the phrase “when you know, you know.” Well is that what this is?

* = had to change the names, because if either one of them found this, which isn't likely but if they did, id absolutely die of embarrassment.

[essentiallydeath]

tag game thing

tagged by @chaoticneutral-bard thanks!!!!

how tall are you: 5'6" ish idk I was 5'5" 1/4 like last year and I grew very little this year so ya know somewhere in that bubble

what color/style is your hair: it's brown. and kinda curly but not the cute kind. more of like the messy wavy big ring curls that get tangled up cause they're never brushed and then they look like monster fur.

what color are your eyes: hazel. people argue that they're blue though. or green. or grey. idk, they change sometimes.

do you wear glasses: I need to but noPE

do you have braces: i also needed these but noPE backed out on that operation

what is your fashion style: band tees and skinny jeans and hoping other gays will notice im one of them

full name: it's just rix. that's all you get. rix. thats my name.

when were you born: march 18th. of a year.

where are you from and where do you live now: usa. in the middle-y. same for both questions.

what school do you go to: aaaaaa school a fish school i participate in a school of fish

what kind of student are you: a procrastinating one who fails all of his classes because he procrastinated too much

do you like school: depends on what subject. like math sucks. but writing is ehhh and art is Great

what are your favorite school subjects: music, art, maybe writing on occasion, break

favorite tv shows: probably like full house or boy meets world but I wanna start watching stranger things and sherlock and doctor who and a bunch of others I just don't have time

favorite books: rn it's the dear evan hansen book or DAPGO or turtles all the way down or to all the boys I've loved before

favorite past time: playing my instruments (like the ones I don't take classes for, ukulele or bass guitar or....) and listening to music and playing with my dog

do you have any regrets: very many. I ate 3 3/4 bowls of brownies and ice cream today which I totally didn't need and I really need to lose weight tbh but oh well I guess. I acted some of my emotions and they ended up messing some people up.

dream job: musician. like one of those people who play movie soundtracks, a famous whatever, a song writer dude, idk

would you like to get married: yes. well, if it's to the right person. I have a specific person in mind for marriage at the moment but I would very much like to marry him.

would you like to have kids someday: perhaps. I'm a little weird over the whole like,,,, birthing a child thing, but adopting a dude sometime would be nice but at the same time idk about children anyways cause kids drive you insane

how many: at the most, 3 or 4 mayyybe. I don't know how many lives I would be able to keep care of beyond my own.

do you like shopping: yes!! I mean, if I'm going with a person I can have fun with and isn't annoyed by shopping and won't try to buy me stuff but I love shopping

what countries have you visited: none really

what's the scariest nightmare you've ever had: I don't remember too many. once my bf got shot, and once I was being chased by Zurg from toy story and if he touched you you were a zurg too and I was hiding under a blanket with two random kids and ones foot was hanging out and zurg touched him and I watched him turn into a zurg and then I got touched and woke up but those are all I can remember

do you have any enemies: two. an ex and this annoying girl who hates me. she's a prick.

do you have a s/o: yes!!! I love him more than anything in the entire universe although he's an asshole sometimes (not really though also he's like super cute and amazing and hah I love rambling about him). @the-dorks-spork

do you believe in miracles: I'm not sure??? I mean, yes and no. it's hard to explain.

now we're at the part where I'm supposed to tag 20 people but I don't like tagging people as I feel annoying and that people secretly hate me if I do it so ya know if you're a person who's up to answering these questions you can totally just say I tagged you.