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husbandhoshi · 6 months

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title: ghosted pairing: seungcheol x f!reader wc: 6.1k, mature/18+ only! tags: based on this drabble. porn with a considerable amount of plot, fwb to lovers, rich guy!cheol, yn is able to be picked up. horrible terrible excessive amounts of fluff. smut tags below the cut. everyone say thank you to @wuahae for reading this over :)

smut tags: softdom!cheol, unprotected sex, oral (m and f receiving), spanking/biting, yn has hair that can get pulled, mild ass play, boob stuff, fingers in mouth.

you think you have seungcheol's number memorized.

well, you definitely should have by now, with how many times you considered deleting it. instead you ended up changing his contact name, first to seungcheol club, which is where you met him. second time--rebound guy. the third iteration, your roommate had made it DO NOT TEXT, and you had left it like that because she was probably right anyway.

for better or for worse, you are not very good at following instructions. you're two and a half weeks fresh off of a heart-to-heart with your friends where you agreed that no, the best way to get over your ex was to not get under somebody else, and yes, you should absolutely stop sleeping with a guy who brags about being a playboy.

so you deleted his number and your text history, and everyone swore up and down that this was a good thing.

and you're sure you were on the same page as them until about five minutes ago, when you were doing your laundry and you had come across one of his white button-up shirts.

(he let you keep it because he said you looked better in it than he did. that morning, before you left his place, he had buttoned it all the way up for you--don't want anyone else looking at you the way i do, he had said. plus, the amount of hickies he had left behind were in no way presentable to the general public.)

the effect this has on you is instantaneous and humiliating.

"fuck. fuck," you groan, now scrolling through your camera roll to look for literally any screenshot with his number in it.

there's one from back when he was rebound guy--he had sent you ten dollars in apple cash so you could buy a coffee when you said you were too tired to fuck. you ended up coming over that night anyway, and you both watched four hours of law and order until you fell asleep on his couch.

there are a handful from when DO NOT TEXT had sexted you in the middle of the workday, which you kept for posterity and nights alone with your vibrator.

and then, finally, a few weeks before that, when things were simple and he was just an unsaved number in your phone--hey, i know you ran out this morning, but i wanted to let you know i had a great time last night, if you know what i mean. even with the winky face emoji, it was a strangely wholesome text from a first time hookup.

you favorite the screenshot and curse the fact that you have never had good impulse control.

you up? i miss you.

the words fly so fast out of your fingers, you have no time to consider whether or not this is a good idea. you vividly recall the time he told you he had never seen the point of putting a label on a relationship, which was the whole reason your friends staged an intervention in the first place.

still, the white shirt on your bed taunts you. even thinking about it makes your head spin.

yeah. let me send you an uber.

that too--he had money, and he wasn't ashamed to spend it on you. between that and the dick, you don't think you're willing to squander your luck.

besides, seungcheol is still rebound guy. you're still getting over your ex, and he's just a quick fix in the meantime. you tell yourself this, and you keep telling yourself this until you're out the door, without a second chance to tell yourself otherwise.

"can't go long without getting your back blown out, huh?"

this is the first thing seungcheol says to you, oblivious to the fact that you were planning on forever ghosting him less than an hour ago.

"as if you didn't answer my text almost immediately," you laugh, letting him help you take your coat off.

"never said i wasn't happy to provide," he replies. his gaze is hot, sticky, like he's forgotten what you've looked like already. "i think it's been almost a month. i thought you got tired of me or something, you know."

"of course not. i...i got busy."

it's a half lie. the other half? you wouldn't dare admit it, but you missed his apartment a little. partly because it's much nicer than your own, but the bachelor pad decor was starting to grow on you. (and maybe the bachelor, with it.)

"work was good today?" you ask, letting him draw you in by the waist. his hands are so warm as he draws them up and down your sides, underneath the cotton of the thin shirt you have on.

"oh, please," seungcheol says, his grin now hovering right over your lips. "don't play innocent. you didn't come here so i could talk about my job."

he's right, so you let him kiss you. it's hot and fast and it tastes like his twenty dollar mouthwash, which you take small pride in because it means he would have been sleeping if his hand wasn't on your ass right now.

seungcheol has never been slow nor patient. your shirt has come off, and he now thumbs at the waistband of your jeans, grasping at the button to undo them.

"i don't think i even know what you look like with pants on," he says, lips dragging against the shell of your ear. "you always dress up when you come here, and it all ends up on the floor. pity."

you feel all the heat in your body surge towards your core. somehow your jeans are already on the floor and seungcheol's palm is fanned over the thin lace of your panties.

"thought about me the whole way here, huh?" two fingers are meanly sat over the seam of your cunt, pressing the damp fabric to your skin. "let yourself get all wet for me on the car ride?"

"maybe," you manage, not wanting to betray the embarrassment in your voice. you don't need his hand there to know how wet you are, and yet you know he's doing it to tease you anyway. he finds the bump of your clit over the fabric, now clingy and warm over your skin, and runs his thumb over it. "what else was i supposed to think about?"

"no need to be shy. can't lie with such a needy pussy." he chuckles as your thighs squeeze helplessly around him. "it's cute."

before you can protest, he pushes your panties to the side, now undoubtably soaked through, and his fingers find your clit again. it just takes two, three, rough strokes to draw the pleasure out of you like a fire in your belly.

"cheol," you whine. somehow things always end up like this--you, almost fully naked, and him, still with all his clothes on. he likes reminding you of it too, now enjoying the way you press against him, searching for skin. instead, you feel his cock under his sweatpants, right up against your thigh, and it only turns you on further.

your hands find his waist, but between the new welt he's sucked into your neck and the paralyzing feeling of his thumb on your clit again and again, you falter. your fingertips hover on the downy hair peeking over the band of his sweats, and you've never ached more to have him inside you.

that's all seungcheol needs to yank you back in line. "bed. now," he says, and you listen.

his apartment is big, and the walk feels dizzying as he follows behind you. what's even worse is that you can feel his eyes rake over you--he loves it. the humiliating stumble of your two left feet, the glistening slick at the apex of your thighs, how your panties cling to your ass, now ruined.

even now, as you clamber onto the bed like you're learning to use your limbs for the first time, he loves how easy you are for him. but you can't help it--no one fucks you as good as he does, and that was the reason he was rebound guy in the first place.

"face me," is his next command. at the foot of the bed, first, he pulls off his shirt, and your eyes wander first to his chest, then to the trail he's got down his stomach, teasing you as he pushes down his sweats.

one of his hands, strong and veiny, disappears under his waistband to play with his cock. you watch the slow flick of his wrist and see the shape of his length underneath the fabric, and you almost start salivating.

you're sure he's punishing you by now.

"you're staring, pretty girl. use your words." a turn of his wrist, and he groans. he might just make himself cum like this, and the notion that it wouldn't be somewhere inside you absolutely shatters the last bit of pride you had left.

"need you in my mouth, cheol," you whine, now sitting up straight against the headboard, as if looking any more pitiful would persuade him to join you.

and he does, just not in the way you want him to. instead, you watch his sweats fall to the ground before he kneels on the edge of the bed, on the end furthest from you.

"what, you think i'm gonna give it to you easy? after you made me wait for you?" you are not thinking straight enough to decipher what this means. who knew ghosting a fuckboy would have actual consequences, but you watch his grip tighten around the fat base of his cock and decide this is not the time to play detective.

so you swallow your pride and all your questions and you crawl. you crawl all the way down the seemingly endless length of his king sized bed, feeling seungcheol's gaze swallow you whole, and you like it.

when you stop at the foot of the bed, you take pause to look at seungcheol, really look at him. his eyes are dark, almost unrecognizably so--maybe it's the way you so readily make yourself perfect for him, arching your back just how he likes and letting your swollen, wet mouth fall open like you've never wanted anything more than him.

"so pretty like this," he coos. he runs a thumb over your bottom lip, feeling it quiver under his skin. you feel the saliva pooling in your mouth; it's as humiliating as it is desperate but you can't help yourself. it feels so good to be touched, and seungcheol's clings to you like nothing else.

he pushes his fingers into your mouth, almost to the back so you choke. you're at the point where you'll take anything, so you suck. you let your tongue run all over the digits, long and calloused enough that you can only dream of having them inside the other half of you. he pushes onto your tongue, wanting you to taste him, and you whimper, the feeling harsh but not unwelcome.

"dumb mouth just needs something in it, huh? my girl will just suck anything?"

you can't talk, so you whine around his fingers, feeling your pussy clench around nothing. he's been playing with his cock with his free hand, forcing you to watch him trace every vein with his own skin instead of yours. you hollow out your cheeks and suck him nice and tight, trying to fool yourself otherwise.

then he laughs, low and quiet--as fun as it is to slut you out, he's never been patient. "open wide, darling." he slides his fingers out from your mouth before pulling your hair out of the way. thank you, you want to say, but it's quickly washed away by the shock of his cock between your lips, rough but never too much so.

god, you didn't even think you liked sucking dick that much, but sleeping with seungcheol for this long must have altered your brain chemistry for the worse. his familiar, heavy warmth sits on your tongue, and you can't help but moan around him. you love the stretch of your jaw, the way his eyes always wrench shut no matter how in control he is.

"fuck," he groans, carding a hand through his hair. "slutty little mouth's made for me."

you hum around him, taking him all the way to where your nose skims the dewy curls on his abdomen and all you know is the scent of his heat. you're drooling so much, thanks to all the fingers in your mouth not too long ago, but you don't care. you run your tongue on the veiny underside of his cock, back and forth, savoring the hurt in your cheeks and all the spit on your chin.

seungcheol makes a low-pitched, strangled noise, the first time you've seen him crack tonight, and it sends another gushy wave of heat to your cunt.

you toy with his slit, let the salt of his precum fill your mouth, and suck hard around his cockhead. your scalp stings wonderfully with how he pulls at your hair, and you lean into the feeling. a deep breath through your nose, and you sink down again. the way he hits the back of your throat makes you yelp pitifully, but you persist like a dog to a bone. again, again, and you're gagging on your own spit as your throat spasms around him and you go cross-eyed.

he's all about control, but he lets you have this--perhaps he likes seeing you give yourself to him without him asking. he doesn't have to lift a finger, and you'll still choke around him, bruise your own throat. surely that had to mean something, but you'll chalk it up to some astrological sexual compatibility you're unaware of at the moment.

"enough," seungcheol finally says, voice gravelly, and he pulls you off him by the hair. "fuck, you probably would've cummed from that alone, huh?"

meanly, he reaches over your back to grab at the strings of your underwear so it digs into your cunt. you cry out, feeling the warmth of arousal leak all over your twitching hole, even between your ass. he's right--any more, and you really might have cummed all over yourself.

" 'm so wet, cheol," you plead, toes curling as he pulls the elastic of your panties further back. "please, please, please."

he releases the band, and it snaps hard against your skin. it feels like electricity as it connects with you, and you cry out again, the noise high-pitched and whoreish.

"gonna need you to face the other way if you want me to fuck you, darling," he says. "my baby likes it best from behind, right?"

you have nothing left in you but insatiable desire. you turn around to face the headboard, still on your hands and knees. seungcheol runs a careful hand down the curve of your spine before landing a hard slap on your ass. your skin sings, and all the blood in your body feels like it's been turned to fire.

"cheol," you warble, pressing your face into the sheets. your pussy actually hurts from how neglected it is, and when the second slap comes down, your clit aches like a bruise. "need you so bad...can't believe i went so long without you."

the words just fall out of you but you think they're true regardless. you were really fooling yourself thinking you could go the rest of your life without this. somewhere deep inside you, in the working part of your brain, you wonder if he's come to the same conclusion. that underneath the show, all the greed and the meanness, he missed you too.

"you must really need to get fucked," seungcheol chuckles. "you've never been this nice to me."

"not true," you protest, muffled by the sheets, and he laughs again. then he peels your underwear down your thighs before spreading your ass underneath his palms, and the cool air makes you twitch under him.

"you smell so fucking good. fuck." he groans, low and desirous, and it's the last thing you register before you feel the swell of his nose, his lips, as he buries his face in your cunt.

it's all too much at once--it rips a squeal out from your chest, one of those slutty, loud ones he loves, and it spurs him on further. you feel the wet pressure of his tongue, first between your folds, then up to the tight ring of your asshole, still messy with your arousal.

"o-oh my god," you cry. the pressure in your belly is now wound tight; you're so, so close and he's barely even started. he seems to know this, and deprives you of his mouth in lieu of his two fingers. the change in sensation is instant and toe-curling. something, anything, is finally inside you, and it's better than anything you have ever known. he drags the pads of his fingers brutally over your g-spot, loving the way you cry and tremble beneath him as your orgasm builds.

"have you had enough, pretty girl?" seungcheol asks, voice cruel, teasing. it's a rhetorical question--before you know it, his fingers are gone, and you instead feel the length of his cock between the curve of your ass. he's got a hand between your shoulder blades, pinning you down, just so he can see you struggle to push yourself against him.

"n-no," you reply, voice catching in your throat. you feel the head of his cock against your slit, and your thighs tremble with anticipation. not good enough. it only takes him a few times, rocking against your cunt, for you to crumble. you ask for things you can't even remember, and it's then when he pushes into you, so meanly you really do forget what words mean.

seungcheol swears under his breath, and his grip on your ass feels tight enough to bruise. your cunt flutters around him, god, you forgot how fucking big he is, but he doesn't give you much time to get used to it. his pace is unforgiving, and his hips slam into your ass like he's trying to fuck the sound out of you.

"cheol," you hiccup, listening to your voice jolt with every thrust. " 'm so full...."

"yeah? you like how i fill you up?" he squeezes your ass hard, and you moan into the sheets. "better than anyone else?"

"o-only you," you reply, slack-jawed at the feeling of being split open so well and the delicious, unending drag of him against your walls. "just you."

this seems to satisfy him. he enters you, deeper still, until it feels like he's in your stomach.

"so fucking tight," he says, from somewhere deep in his chest. "you need me to stretch you out like this every once in a while, yeah? you take it so well, pretty girl."

all you can do is moan his name. it's what you've been doing, and at this point, it's the only word you know. he bottoms out again, and the pleasure is so white-hot it feels like it burns.

it only takes two, three, punches into your cunt for you to come undone. you're gushing, gushing around him, babbling something incoherent, and still he is unrelenting. you feel your mouth move in an attempt to tell him you're too sensitive, and he only shoves his cock deeper in you so he can feel you clench hard around it.

then he pushes your head into the sheets, deeper still so the neighbors won't write him up in the morning, and fucks you again. you foolishly think another orgasm will break you, but all it takes is for him to press his thumb into the dip of your asshole and tell you he's going to fuck you in both holes one day for you to fall apart again.

by the time he's done with you, your legs feel boneless and you don't even want to think about the situation between them. (you had asked him to cum in you, and he did. there was so much, he had to push some back into you with his fingers, and you cummed one more time.)

you feel seungcheol's dead weight slump onto the bed beside you. you're still face-down, but you turn as far as you can to look at him. it's unfair how he still looks good now--his bangs, dark and curly with sweat, crown his forehead, and you watch his long eyelashes flutter shut.

"fuck," he groans. "how does every time with you get better?"

somewhere inside you, in the parts that still work, you feel a small gleam of pride. it feels traitorous, in a way--the whole point of being friends with benefits was that it was supposed to be conditional, but you're running out of conditions. clearly, it didn't take much for you to come back and not regret it.

seungcheol laughs at your silence. "did i break you? no," he jokingly whines, and he rolls onto his side to return your gaze. he brings a hand up to brush the hair out of your eyes, as if that would somehow magically repair your body. but it does feel nice. "please speak."

"maybe broken. to be determined." seungcheol grins stupidly when you say this, and you watch how his eyes crinkle up at the sides.

usually, it's every man for himself at this point in the night. seungcheol will order takeout and draft some emails, and you hobble over to the bathroom so you can pee and use the shower. he leaves you alone for this part, which is the perfect opportunity to mix all his fancy shower gels together like you're a kid again.

but today seems different. you lie there for a beat in silence, watching each other blink. then seungcheol gets up, slowly then all at once, and walks over to your wrung-out body.

"i'm picking you up," he says, like a warning. "hopefully you're not afraid of heights."

you think he's joking until you feel the strong cords of his forearms--one around your middle and the other under your legs. you didn't even think you were able to be picked up at this point in your life, but somehow he's got you flush against his chest now, almost nose to nose with him.

"wait," you waver, suddenly feeling self conscious about literally everything. you're sticky and smelly and you're not curious to find out if your post-coital form will scare him away. "seungcheol."

"you really plan on walking yourself over to the bathroom? you couldn't make it to the bedroom earlier, and i hadn't even fucked you yet."

"hey!" you protest. he laughs, and you can feel his whole body shake. "wait, i can't laugh too much, or i'm gonna start leaking."

"you've got another thing coming if you think i'm afraid of a little body fluid."

seungcheol bumps the bathroom door open with his ass, which is somehow the funniest and most endearing thing to you. you flip on the light, and he sets you on the counter like it's just a normal friday night for the both of you.

he turns the shower on and turns back to look at you. "how hot do you want it?" then his eyes narrow playfully. "are you one of those freaks who likes getting their skin boiled off?"

"well, you can answer the first half of that question on your own."

"ok. freak."

while he messes with the shower knobs (he's got one of those showers with three separate showerheads), you take a moment to do some more snooping. the first time you were here, you did go through the various things he had on his counter. most of them are still there--the overpriced moisturizer you shamelessly use when you stay the night, a quarter-full bath and body works foaming soap, and a folded up hand towel with his initials on it.

there are some newer additions too. you don't miss how the little jar for your toothbrush is still there, or a small tube of lip gloss you had forgotten to take back a few months ago. he restocked the hand lotion that you said you liked, too.

you're starting to think that there is a small possibility that you are no longer friends with benefits. you're not dating either, but something somewhere in the middle. but how do you say something like that? how would you know, especially when seungcheol is a self-proclaimed forever bachelor who may never, ever date?

you have no time to think about this any further.

"sooo," seungcheol hums, wiping his hands with a bath towel. "i'll be in the bedroom. you want me to order chinese?" you watch him linger around, lamely, like a stray dog.

"wanna join me?"

he smiles, ear to ear.

"thought you'd never ask."

morning comes slowly.

you wake to birdsong and the quiet chatter of the city beneath you. the sun from the curtains is buttery and warm on your bare skin, and time seems to drag its feet. it feels perfect, which is a word you would have never used in relation to any of this, and yet nothing else seems more appropriate.

last night, after your shower (in which you learned that seungcheol always makes his hair into a shampoo mohawk, without fail), you talked for hours over the fattest spread of takeout you had ever seen.

the plan was to put on the office and dissociate like usual, but he finally answered your question about how his day at work was. (tumultuous and drama-filled--that was his first mistake. you love drama.) strangely, by the end of the night, you learned that you had more in common than you thought with a man whose watch collection was valued higher than your entire college education.

"you up?" seungcheol's morning voice comes out sounding like a croak from behind you. you're sure he's about to complain that his arm is asleep from your big head on it, but he doesn't. instead, he settles deeper into your warmth and pulls you closer by the waist.

"yeah," you reply, enjoying the feeling of his skin against your own.

you grab your phone from the nightstand, wondering if your roommate has discovered your betrayal and has blown up your phone. she has, so the two voice memos and twenty text messages in the group chat are no surprise to you.

what is a surprise is the text you get from your ex. can we talk? it reads. it's the first time you've heard from him in months--before that, he had broken up with you (over text) and then proceeded to block you on every platform possible.

your mind starts to spin. you'd be lying if you said you didn't want to text him back. just for closure's sake, you tell yourself, as if you haven't cried at least seven separate times about this. but you will admit, seungcheol has been a great diversion. you don't remember the last time you had a cry, and any progress was good progress to you.

complicating things, said diversion has slotted a leg between yours, and his hand has found its way to your ribcage, distractingly close to your chest. such are the consequences of only wearing a shirt to bed.

"you're so warm," he murmurs, right in the space where your neck meets your shoulder. his hand creeps up, now right over your heartbeat. it doesn't really take much for your body to respond--his fingertips find your nipple, and with a light squeeze, you're already arching back into him. "is this ok?"

"yeah," you breathe. you're distracted, but you figure the best way to un-distract yourself is with a new, better distraction.

now emboldened, he rolls the skin between his fingers, finding he loves the way you shudder underneath him. quickly, he moves out from behind you to hover over you instead, propping himself up by his forearms, and pushes your shirt up over the swell of your tits.

"you good?" seungcheol asks, lips flush to the skin over your heart. he presses another wet kiss to one of your nipples before taking it into his mouth.

"yeah, why?" you have half a mind to hold his head down so he can't ask more questions and ruin the point of being a distraction in the first place.

"dunno." he switches to the other side, licking over a mark he's bitten into your skin. "you looked at your phone and you seemed worried. also, you're frowning, and it's not a sex frown."

damn. you guess you're easier to read than you thought. you don't even have the heart to ask what the fuck a sex frown looks like.

seungcheol's mouth returns to your nipple, and he sucks hard, making you gasp into your palm.

"my ex," you tell him. there's no point in keeping it a secret. the first time you slept together, you had made it clear what your intentions were, which is what made this arrangement work so well in the first place. "he wants to talk or something."

"that asshole?" then another suck, and you keen into him. "you're too good for him."

it's literally one of the three appropriate responses he could have chosen from, but it still feels like a compliment to you. almost too much so.

"yeah. i guess." your voice sounds more wobbly than you'd like, but you chalk it up to the fact that he's now pressing his lips down your middle, all the way down to your core. "hey, i'm ticklish."

"i know." he kisses your belly button, and you smile in spite of yourself. "you smell good, by the way."

"it's your forty dollar body wash," you remind him.

"damn right it is." you feel his breath fan over your thighs, and your stomach flips with anticipation. "legs over my shoulders. you know the drill."

"you don't have to do this, you know," you say, before immediately regretting it. you have a spectacular knack of self-sabotage, which you think seungcheol knows by this point. "you've been really nice to me."

"am i not allowed to like being nice to you?" seungcheol jokes. "would you prefer me to be mean?"

"no," you laugh. you don't know how to ask what he meant. what made yesterday and today so different? it feels like you're on the edge of something, coming close to what you could only describe as more than casual affection, more than desire. "go back to being nice. forget i said anything."

you put your legs over his shoulders, like he asked. one good orgasm wouldn't solve the ex problem or this new seungcheol problem you are starting to discover, but it sure would help you think more clearly.

his lips are soft on you. he has none of the urgency or greed of yesterday; instead, he takes his time with you. his mouth skims over your inner thighs, lightly, drawing out all the breath from your lungs. you make a small noise of impatience, and you feel the stretch of his grin against you.

before you have a second chance to complain, you feel the heat of his open mouth over your cunt, as to drink your taste up. then his tongue, warm, insistent, on your clit, circling it before he sucks.

"o-oh, fuck," you whine, voice muffled by the back of your hand. it feels too early to be loud, and you're already embarrassed by how sensitive you are.

"don't text him back," seungcheol says. he's replaced his mouth with two fingers, now leisurely teasing you at your entrance.

"don't worry--" you manage to say this before he crooks the pads of his fingers into you, right at your sweet spot, and the words are stolen from you. "--about him."

"i'm serious." he laps at your cunt, and with his fingers still buried in you, the feeling makes you dizzy. "did he ever make you feel like this?"

"n-no," you whine, now with your palm shoved right against your mouth. he's added a third finger now, and the stretch is so good, you're going cross-eyed. "never ate me out."

"what?" you hear him tsk between your thighs as his fingers still. "he's missing out."

it's then that seungcheol must have resolved to give you the best head of your life, because you think you black out after that point.

his lips return to your clit, and the pleasure is so startling, you can feel your thighs squeeze shut around his head. unfazed, he continues to pump his fingers in and out of your hole, still fluttering, unused to the size.

"close, 'm so close," you mewl, hips now lifted to chase his tongue. he indulges you, gives you the flat of the muscle to grind against as he stuffs you full.

your other hand finds his hair, and it only takes a moment, a slight pull, for him to moan into your heat--the sound breaks something inside you, and you're gasping, crying out with your high. by now, there are marks from your teeth in your palm, but something about the sting only makes the feeling better.

seungcheol stays sealed to your cunt, removing his fingers only to replace them with his mouth, eager to taste you. he lingers until you're shaking and whimpering, spent from your orgasm and too sensitive to endure another.

he looks up at you, swollen lips and bedhead made worse, and a surge of affection overtakes you.

"kiss me," you tell him, and he does.

it's long, and it's slow, not even close to any of the ones you've had before. you wrap a hand around the back of his neck, and he sighs. you don't think he's ever done that before.

when he pulls back to look at you, it feels as though the air has changed. there are words pushing at your lips. this isn't casual anymore. it can't be, not with what just happened.

yeah, the sex is good, but the first thing you thought of this morning wasn't you or your saturday plans or how to endure the dismay of your entire friend group, it was about him. if didn't count for something, you don't know what did.

"seungcheol, i--" you pause. his eyes are so brown, it's distracting you, and you start to second guess yourself.

"is it about your ex?" he interrupts. "if he asked you to get back with him, would you?"

it's not his question, but his insistence that takes you by surprise.

"n-no." you watch his gaze flicker at your hesitance, and you don't like it. "no, i wouldn't."

"good, because--" he pauses, seeming to gather his thoughts. you try to read his expression, but he can't even meet your eyes right now. "look, i know i haven't had the best track record with dating. i don't even think i know how to date."

"what are you saying?" you ask softly. there's a part of your heart that feels like it's peeling itself back, in a good way.

"i'm saying i want to try." and when you still look confused, he continues. "dating you. if you'd let me."

against all odds, past all the swirling, terrible emotions in your chest, there's a bright surge of relief, of joy. the last time you saw him look so vulnerable was when he reached into his oven to pull out a tray of cookies and burned his hand because he forgot a glove. maybe this whole thing would crash and burn, but you like him enough (honestly more than enough) to try with him.

so you smile, and you watch him frown and pout and look unbearably terrified, and you smile harder.

"ok," you say, playfully feigning indifference. "you can try."

instead of replying, he kisses you again, and it's even better than the first one.

when you finally head out that morning, there's a lightness in your chest.

in the doorway, seungcheol pecks the top of your head before showing you his phone. "which emoji do you want?" he asks, completely seriously. "i want the blue heart."

you pull out your phone to find his contact, which still shows his plain number, just like old times.

"i'm unsaved?!" his jaw drops open like he's animated, and you laugh.

"gotta go," you tease. "see you later."

it's only in the uber home (that he called for you, of course), where you finally put in his real, government name, for the first time. finally, it feels a little more right.

choi seungcheol, it reads. with the blue heart.

#mine #seungcheol #seungcheol smut #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x you #seventeen smut #scoups smut

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thatsmzbitchtoyou · 7 months

Text

My Alpha

This is kind of a long one shot (5619 words!), but I thought I'd try my hand at the ABO!/Omegaverse. Hope you like it!

Being an omega wasn’t always a bad thing. At least that’s what she told herself repeatedly as she religiously took hormone blocking birth control pills and wore scent blockers on the daily. Y/N hadn’t had a heat in years and wasn’t planning on letting up any time soon. She had started working as a personal assistant for the Avengers under Tony Stark years before, going through the Sokovia Accords debacle, surviving the Blip, losing Natasha, Tony, Steve, T'Challa, and all the other strange and traumatic things that happened during her tenure. She had denied her biology to get this job, not wanting it to affect her performance or be a target while being surrounded by literal super Alphas in this field. And as hard as the job was, she loved it.

One of the greatest highlights was gaining Bucky Barnes as a friend. While other Alphas she had come across were domineering, he was compassionate and kind. He very rarely lost his composure like others did during high pressure situations in missions, and never fought over who was in charge. He was incredibly careful to make sure everyone around him felt comfortable in his presence. After finally shaking the Winter Soldier programming he didn’t want to ever lose control of himself again, and with the super soldier serum messing with his hormones to the extent that he was nearly feral during ruts, he would isolate himself away to keep her and others safe.

Y/N felt like she could talk to him about anything, and he felt the same. She was his sanctuary after rough missions, one of the few people that could break him out of a deep depressive state or the nightmares that still plagued him. He knew she was an Omega but could barely smell her because of her blockers, which he both loved and hated. Loved because it made it so they could be friends without the weird biological dynamics getting in the way, and hated because he was super curious about what her scent was. They had fallen for each other long ago, but were both too afraid to do anything about it.

As they both relaxed during a rare weekend off they got on the topic of Omega versus Alpha traits. “I get it, Alphas can be rough, but don’t you want to mate someday? Find someone special to settle down with? Maybe have a family?”

She sighed. “Of course I do, Buck.”

“Then what are you afraid of?” he asked gently.

“Not having a clear choice,” she answered simply, giving him a sharp look. “I don’t want my biology to decide my fate. So many Omegas get stuck being mated with bad Alphas because their heats were uncontrollable and the Alpha wouldn’t take no for an answer. I know that I’m predestined to be a nurturer. Hell, that’s what my job is now, taking care of all of you guys! But I should get to choose who I end up with based on love, not by body’s reactions.” Bucky nodded in understanding, looking down at his intertwined hands. “Do you want to settle down someday?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I just don’t know how it would work out. This job…my past. It all points towards disaster at any given time.”

She slid over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders awkwardly as she sat next to him. “You deserve a happy ever after, Bucky.”

“You do, too, you know,” he reminded her, resting his head on top of hers.

“Mmh, maybe someday,” she said wistfully as she undid her embrace and leaned back against the couch.

“So, anyways,” he cleared his throat. “Is it true that Omegas have a better sense of smell than Alphas or Betas? Like you can pick up on others’ scents and identify them really well?”

She laughed. “Yes, it’s true.”

“Really? Okay, what does…” he scanned the room as other Avengers milled in and out. “Peter. What does Spidey smell like?” He tested her, watching her expectantly.

She took a look at Peter across the room, her nose slightly flaring as she took in a whiff from his direction. “He always smells like fresh bagels to me. You know the smell of just-baked bread? Kinda like that. Mixed with a little bit of hazelnut.”

Bucky looked at her in awe. “Yeah I kinda get that off of him. Alphas can smell and track scents but not to that level.”

“Hm, that’s interesting,” she said as her eyebrows furrowed.

“Now how about Sam?” he asked excitedly, hoping it would be something not so pleasant he could tease him about.

“Ha, Sam is Cajun seasoning with a sweet lemony undertone. Like really well done seafood,” she answered quickly with a smile on her face, knowing Bucky would be disappointed in that answer.

Bucky frowned as he thought about who to ask of next. “Okay, how about…Steve?” He knew it was a long shot. Steve had been gone for a few years now, so she probably wouldn’t remember. But she gave him a soft smile.

“Steve was smoky, like fireworks. A summer night that ends with warm apple crisp and melting vanilla ice cream on top,” she said as she stared out the window, a dazed look in her eyes as she remembered him.

“Wow…” Bucky whispered. “I always got the fireworks, and something like a picnic. But now that you say it, yeah, apple with vanilla.”

“Yep, he was truly all American,” she winked at him.

He laughed as he turned towards her on the couch. “How about, um…me?”

She gazed at him, her expression softening as her nose flared again and she huffed out the breath she’d taken. “Smoky, like Steve, but different.”

“Like gunpowder?” he asked suddenly, his eyes searching hers. He had been told that before and was hoping they were wrong.

“No, not gunpowder. More like…” she sniffed again but frowned. “Do you mind if I…?” she gestured her finger from herself to him.

“Yeah, go ahead,” he said, opening himself up for her to scoot closer to him. She leaned in towards his neck, the best place to scent someone, and breathed in a slow sniff of him. She closed her eyes.

“Campfire. A campfire on the beach. And the smell of the ocean after it rains,” she said resolutely, opening her eyes to look at him. Their faces were close as he stared at her. “But no, not gunpowder,” she reassured him.

“That’s good,” he breathed, his eyes shifting from her eyes down to her lips and back.

Her eyes suddenly widened, her brow furrowing and she pulled herself away quickly. “I, um…I need to go…excuse me,” she said hurriedly before she jumped off the couch and power-walked down the hall towards her room.

“Wait, Y/N, are you okay?” Bucky stood from the couch as he watched her leave.

“Yeah! I’ll talk to you later!” she yelled back without looking, her voice sounded strained.

“What the hell?” he asked himself quietly, looking around him like something had jumped out and spooked her.

Once she was out of sight she ran to her room and had Friday bolt the door. She doubled over in pain and clutched her stomach. “No way,” she moaned as she reached for her phone and called for help.

“Hey you, how are ya?” Bruce asked when he answered the call.

“Bruce,” her voice was pained as she held in another moan. “I need help, something’s wrong.”

“What? What’s going on?” he sounded worried, the rustling of papers and beeping from a screen by him going off.

“It feels…like a heat? But that’s not possible, right? We made sure of it,” she grunted as another cramp shot through her abdomen, and just as suddenly as it all started, it suddenly stopped, leaving her gasping. “Wait, now it stopped? What the hell is happening?”

“Come down to the lab, right now. We’ll get you tested.”

She didn’t need to be told twice as she hung up and crept out of her room towards the elevator. She was able to get in and down to the lab a few floors away without being caught by Bucky or anybody else. She ran into the lab in a panic. Bruce was already setting up the medical bay in the back with everything needed to do a check-up, some vials next to the other instruments.

“Hey, let’s take some blood and see what’s going on,” he called out to her when he heard the doors slide open. She jogged to the bed and hopped up on it, taking off her cardigan so he could access the veins in her arm better. After a quick routine check up he took a few vials of her blood then stepped out towards all the equipment he had for medical and scientific tests.

He worked silently as she sat there deep in thought. It can’t be, she tried to reassure herself. I’ve been so careful. Not missed a single pill ever. This can’t be happening. After about an hour Bruce came back with a screen in his hand, his eyebrows hung low over his eyes and a frown on his face.

“Y/N, it’s…it’s not working anymore,” he said softly, his eyes sad and confused as he looked at her.

“What do you mean?” she asked hesitantly, her eyes widening.

“The hormone blockers, the pills…your body isn’t responding to them anymore. Your hormones are syncing back to normal Omega levels. Your heats are going to come back.”

“No, no no no no no…NO Bruce! I can’t. Please, there’s gotta be another pill to try, a shot, an implant, something? Anything, please?” she began to cry.

“I’m sorry Y/N. We already got you the best blockers that are available out there. If your body is weaning off of them it means your biology is taking over, probably because you’re getting older and it’s fighting back to have a chance at mating. I’m so sorry,” he showed her the hormone levels on a chart on the screen, pointing out the differences and then setting it down. “There’s nothing I can do. Nothing you can do but prepare yourself for it to start again. And your first one is probably going to be brutal after avoiding them for so long. You’ll need help–”

“NO! No, I can’t do this. I can’t ask some random Alpha for help. This isn’t fair!” she cried harder, hiding her face in her hands. Bruce patted her on the back, trying to help ease her pain by giving off a calming scent. He was also an Omega and knew how much this meant to her.

“It will be alright, Y/N. You have friends here who will help you without making it awkward between you and them, or won’t immediately try mating with you during your heat. They’re good Alphas. They won’t hurt you or take advantage of you,” he promised.

She tried to calm the loud beating of her heart that was wringing in her ears, a panic attack trying to settle deep in her bones that she was fighting back. “How long do I have until it comes?” she sighed as she sniffled.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry. With it being so long since you last had one it could be next week or it could be in a couple of months,” he answered gravely.

“Ugh, great,” she laughed as she wiped her tears away. “No choice, whatsoever. My body ultimately got to decide for me after all. Wonderful,” she spat as she jumped down off the bed. “Thank you, Bruce, for testing. I just…I need to go sleep this off, I don’t know,” she said, giving him a quick hug and then leaving the lab.

She took the elevator back up to her floor, her eyes stinging from the hot tears still slowly falling down. Her heat was coming back, and with a vengeance. She would need help. Who would she ask? Any of the unmated superhero Alphas would probably say yes, though she knew she only wanted one. But how could she ask this of him? And if he did help, how could she go on with their friendship as if nothing had happened between them afterwards?

The elevator opened and she trudged into the common room. The floor was already dark as twilight set in and everyone had split off to their rooms. She slipped into the kitchen since she missed dinner while down in the lab to grab something to eat, although she wasn’t particularly hungry. As she made herself a sandwich she turned to grab a knife then saw a figure in the corner at the dining table.

“Jesus! Fuck, Bucky you scared me,” she gasped, holding a hand over her heart.

“Sorry, honey,” he grunted as he sat watching her. “Why are you crying?”

She stiffened as she looked at him, trying to act nonchalant as she grabbed the knife and turned back to her sandwich. “I’m not, I’m just tired,” she waved him off, quickly cutting the sandwich and putting the ingredients and dishes away to escape.

“Don’t lie to me Y/N. What’s wrong?” he stood, walking towards her. She reached for the refrigerator door to get a drink, which he quickly shut and stared her down. She wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“Come on Buck, I just need a drink,” she complained as she tried to open the door again, reaching for the handle. Bucky grabbed her wrist firmly and leaned in towards her.

“What’s wrong Y/N? You ran away earlier and now you smell…off,” he said, searching her eyes as his nose flared at the scent she was radiating. His frown deepened and his eyes looked worried. “Why are you afraid? Was it me? Did I do something wrong?”

“No! Oh no, Bucky, it’s not you,” she said, her eyes widening. “It’s me, it’s just…” her eyes welled up with tears again, spilling onto her cheeks as she sucked in a sharp breath. “It’s me,” she sobbed, leaning forward til her forehead rested against his chest.

“Oh honey,” Bucky sighed. He put his hands under her armpits and lifted her onto the counter so she was eye level with him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face in his shoulder, crying harder as he enveloped her, his hands rubbing up and down her back as he whispered reassuring words to her. They sat holding each other for a while, Bucky letting her cry it out and Y/N relishing the comfort. As her cries died down and her grip loosened around his neck he pulled back.

“Tell me what’s wrong, please? You’re breaking an old man’s heart,” he pleaded, hating to see her hurting so much.

Y/N chuckled at him calling himself an old man as she wiped her nose with her sleeve. Bucky held her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. She let herself enjoy his touch before she sniffled and finally looked up at him.

“When I was talking to you earlier, I felt this weird pain,” she explained quietly. Bucky nodded, listening intently as he held her face still. “That’s why I ran out. I went to Bruce’s lab to test me because it felt like…like a heat,” she sniffled again, looking down at her lap. Bucky nodded again, his hands releasing her face and reaching for her hands to hold. “I haven’t had one in years.” This surprised him. He knew there were new ways of birth control for Omegas now, giving them a lot more options than to just mate and reproduce and take care of their Alphas and pups like the old days, which he thought was great. He just didn’t realize it could be for so long. “And now, apparently, the hormone blockers aren’t working anymore,” she gripped his fingers tightly. “My body is rejecting them, weaning off of them and reverting back to normal hormone levels. My heat is coming,” she sucked in another sharp breath. “I don’t know when, but he said it’s going to be brutal since I’ve been avoiding them for so long. He said I’ll need help and…and I don’t know what to do.” Her voice shook as she looked up at him again. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

Bucky could feel her panic and gave off what he hoped was a calming scent. It seemed to help as her eyes fluttered shut and her shoulders visibly relaxed. The Alpha in him hummed in satisfaction as he swept his thumbs over her knuckles. “You don’t need to be scared, Y/N. It’s going to be okay,” he tried to placate her. “Listen, I know earlier you said you wanted a choice, and now your body’s not giving you one.” She nodded, a few more tears slipping out the sides of her eyes. “I…I can help you,” he said, gulping back the lump in his throat. Her eyes snapped up to him, a look of shock on her face. “I know that I’m offering something kinda crazy. But I promise you I won’t hurt you, I won’t make you court me if you don’t want to, and I won’t forcibly mate with you.” He looked her deep in her eyes to try to get her to understand. “But I’d be honored to help you.”

Y/N couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. She had wanted to ask him and now he was offering himself for her to get through this first heat. She licked her lips and contemplated it. “I just don’t want it to ruin our friendship,” she sniffed again, her eyes searching his face for hesitation.

“It won’t,” he said earnestly.

“...Okay,” she agreed.

Bucky smiled as he squeezed her fingers. “Okay.”

“Thank you, Bucky. You’re a good Alpha,” she thanked him, lifting his hands up and kissing his knuckles.

His eyes fluttered shut and he cleared his throat. “You should probably not call me that, at least not right now.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh! God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean–”

“It’s okay, honey, it’s fine,” he chuckled. “Whenever it hits you, just call me, and I’ll be there.”

She gave him a warm smile in appreciation. They were playing with fire, and they both knew it deep down, but were denying it heavily.

***

Y/N could feel her hormones changing her body and mind. Bruce had advised against wearing scent blockers as well to help her body fully adjust and hopefully not cause as much pain during her upcoming heat, and that was the first thing she noticed. The Alphas around her, who would normally just give her a friendly greeting or a smile, now watched her hungrily through narrow eyes, giving tight smiles as their noses flared as she passed by. It made her self-conscious enough to ask Bucky one day, “Do I smell bad?”

Bucky looked away from the book he was reading as she plopped next to him on the couch in the common room again, lifting her feet up to rest on his lap. She was touching him a lot more lately. “What do you mean?”

“Do I smell bad? Omegas can’t really smell themselves very well, and since I took off the scent blockers I’ve been…watched,” she looked around the room warily. Bucky’s eyes swept across the other Alphas in the room, noting how they were all giving off territorial scents as they tracked her. He sat up straight, facing each one until they caught his eye and gave off a warning rumble deep in his chest, his eyes flashing dangerously. They each quickly retreated, shamefully turning back towards their previous tasks. The air around Y/N seemed to lift and she felt like she could breathe again. “Thank you, Bucky.”

He sat back on the couch, grabbing his book with one hand and mindlessly rubbing her feet with the other. “No need to thank me, honey. And no, you don’t smell bad. You smell like chai.”

“Chai?” Y/N scoffed.

“Yeah, chai with…” he reached a hand out and grabbed her wrist, bringing it up to his nose and inhaling deeply. Her eyes widened comically at his brashness in scenting her so publicly. “Pumpkin. Chai and pumpkin. Like Autumn,” he concluded, setting her wrist down and then rubbing her feet again. He said it so casually that she just stared at him dumbfounded.

It got worse as the weeks went on. Her emotions were haywire, one minute she was calm and cool and the next she was agitated and easily crying at anything. She was nesting anxiously, rearranging her room and her desk in her office, constantly carrying around a large fuzzy cardigan or blanket with her. Her joints were sore, especially in her hips. She found herself eating all the time. Bruce had her come down to the lab each week to check her levels, each time warning her it could happen any day now.

A month and a half later on a Friday night the team got together for a movie night. They decided on watching the first Avatar, a movie Bucky hadn’t yet seen. As it played Y/N kept fidgeting next to him, adjusting her sitting position, wringing her hands in her lap, taking deep breaths periodically. A scene began of two of the characters connecting in a tree garden and Sam yelled out, “Alien tree sex!” Everyone laughed but Y/N bolted out of the room. Bucky watched her run down to her room and shut her door.

He quietly got up and followed her. He could tell just by her scent changing these last few weeks and how it was getting stronger, the chai smell getting spicier, that her heat was fast approaching. She had been very touchy with him, following him around and staying close whenever they were in the same room. He had no claim to her, but it was evident to everyone to stay away from her, otherwise they’d get a growl from him. He was growing more excited by the day, trying to remind himself that he was just helping out a friend, not staking any claim or bond.

When he reached her door he pressed his ear against it, listening for her. He heard her heart rate picking up and her breathing became labored. He could also smell her, more potent, spicy, the scent of unmated Omega making his hormones sing and call out for her. A deep rumble emitted from his chest as he felt his cock hardening. He knocked on her door.

“Y/N,” he called out, just loud enough for her to hear. A soft moan came from the other side. His eyelids shut tight at the sound. It was time. “I’m coming in,” he warned before opening the door. He stepped inside and was hit with the scent full force, making his eyes and mouth water simultaneously. Y/N was laying in the nest she built on her bed in the fetal position, one hand on her stomach and the other in between her legs, not yet touching herself but keeping pressure against her core. “Honey…” he groaned as he locked the door behind himself and walked towards the bed.

“Alpha,” she breathed, her brow furrowed and eyes shut tight. A cramp wracked through her whole body and she yelped in pain. “It’s starting. It hurts…hurts so bad,” she cried as she could feel a small gush of slick pour from her pussy as her body recognized the Alpha in the room.

“It’s gonna be okay, honey, I’m here,” he cooed at her, reaching his hand out and running his fingers along her leg from her ankle to her thigh. “Let’s get you out of these, huh?” he said while lifting the hem of her shorts up slightly. She nodded and blindly started pulling at her clothes. Bucky helped her strip out of her layers then undressed himself, giving her naked body an appreciative glance. He lay behind her on the bed, cocooning her in his arms and leaning his head into the crook of her neck and scenting her. He could feel himself getting drunk off of her heat. She was sending him into an early rut as his hips rocked against her ass slowly. Y/N keened at that, her back arching and pushing her ass into his crotch further. He moaned at the sensation, his arms tightening around her. “Shh, Omega. I got you,” he said as his voice dropped further, the Alpha coming through more prominently now.

“Bucky…” she sighed, her hands gripping his arms around her. “Please…Alpha please,” she begged, her legs shaking as another cramp hit her.

Bucky moaned at the sound of his name said that way coming from her lips. He started to lick and suck and kiss at the scent gland on her throat, making her gasp loudly. His scent mixed with hers, and they quickly got lost in each other. His hands found her breasts and massaged them firmly, his fingers tweaking her nipples and making her hips buck back into him again. He twisted her body around to face him. She quickly molded herself back to him, hiking her leg up and over his hip, her hands scratching down his chest. He tried to remind himself one last time that this was just a friend helping a friend. Then she kissed him.

The kiss broke the dam of hesitancy he was holding to desperately. He quickly responded, his mouth opening and their tongues tangling as they tasted each other. Bucky climbed on top of her, his knees forcing hers apart. His fingers probed her lower lips, finding her clit and giving it all his attention. Y/N’s hips writhed as he riled her up. She watched his fingers dip into her, making her breath stutter. She was already dripping for him so he plunged two fingers into her, thrusting them in and out while his thumb rubbed and flicked her clit.

“Fuck Alpha,” she groaned. “Just like that, shit!”

Bucky smiled as she cursed, her legs shaking against his. She reached down and took his cock in her hand, giving him lazy pumps as he got her closer to her release. He huffed a sharp breath. “Damn, honey, oooh that’s good,” he said lowly. “Give it to me, love, come on, you can do it. Be such a good Omega for me,” he encouraged her as he curled his fingers as deep as he could reach.

The tension in her core finally snapped, her first orgasm ripping through her at lightning speed, squirting slick all over his hand and his hips. She let out a guttural moan, the sound reverberating through the air, making the Alpha inside of him scream to claim her. He had to physically restrain himself as he pulled his fingers out of her. She smiled as she watched him with hooded eyes. He put his wet fingers in his mouth and licked them clean of her slick, his eyes rolling back at the taste.

“Alpha please, I need you. Bucky, I want your big cock inside me…please!” Y/N begged again. Normally it would embarrass her to be acting like this, she would have never dreamed of speaking to Bucky this way. But they were beyond the point of no return.

“Condom first, Omega,” he reminded her in his authoritative voice. “As much as I’d love to fill you up, I don’t think that’s what you want just yet.”

Y/N pouted, but the first orgasm had helped clear her brain a little bit, and pointed to the nightstand next to the bed. Bucky quickly reached over and pulled open the top drawer, finding the box and pulling a few of them out. He unwrapped one and slipped it on himself before settling back between her legs, backing up a little bit. “Present, please, Omega.”

Y/N twisted herself onto her stomach, lifting her hips high and pressing the side of her face into the bed. Bucky almost whimpered at the sight of her sweet pussy, seeing the way he had made her drip with slick, the skin softly puckering in anticipation. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen Y/N, goddamn,” he whispered huskily. She preened at his praise, her ass raising a little higher. He gave her ass a quick slap, making her yelp and shiver. “You ready?” he asked, making sure she was still wanting this.

“Yes, please Alpha, Bucky…please!”

“You’re so sexy when you beg,” he slapped her ass again, then grabbed her hips and aimed himself at her entrance. He slowly pushed in the tip of his cock, the fat head catching just past her lower lips, making them both groan. He kept pushing until he was fully seated inside her, letting her adjust to his size. Y/N was keening again, a high pitched tone ringing through the air. After a moment she wriggled her hips, silently asking him to thrust. A deep growl emanated from Bucky’s throat and he pulled back until it was just the tip inside, then snapped his hips back into her hard.

Y/N was making the sweetest noises he’d ever heard as he pummeled his cock into her. She whimpered and moaned, making him hook an arm around her hips and lay his stomach across her back, quick huffs of his breath warming her shoulder. He could feel her walls fluttering around him, making the rhythm of his hips stutter. “Fuck, honey, you gonna cum?” She nodded as her moans got louder. He flipped her back over onto her back so he could watch her release, leaving barely any room between them as he hovered over her. Her hands wound around the back of his neck, scratching his scalp with her nails. “Goddammit, do that again,” he heard himself whimpering this time. She scratched from the top of his head down to his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.

He reached between their bodies and started flicking her clit as he chased his own high. “Bucky, oh my God,” she squealed against his lips as her back arched and her legs clung to his hips. “Yes, yes, yes, shit…mark me.”

Bucky didn’t stop thrusting but tensed at her words. “No, Y/N, you don’t want that.”

“Yes, I do, with you, Bucky,” she gasped.

“Omega,” he warned her, his eyes flashing. “We can talk about that when I’m not balls deep inside you.”

Y/N tensed at his Alpha command, her legs loosening around him. “I want you to be my Alpha, my mate.”

“God fucking dammit,” Bucky stopped thrusting and leaned on his elbows above her. “Y/N, listen to me, you don’t want that. You said you wanted a clear choice, remember?” Y/N was silent and wide eyed as she watched him, slightly nodding her head. “This isn’t a clear choice. Your first heat in how many years? It’s your hormones talking, honey. And believe me, I’d love to mark you, claim you, bond and mate with you. Stuff you full of me,” he thrust again, making her eyes roll back, “and breed you with my pups. But we can talk about all that later. Right now, I’m here to help you through this, because you’re my best friend, and…I’m ridiculously in love with you.” He finally said it. “I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. But when it’s both of us with clear heads and a clear choice. Okay?”

Y/N’s eyes were watery as she listened to him. “You’re in love with me?”

Bucky huffed a laugh, “Is that all you got out of that?”

She shook her head, “No, but it’s the most important thing. I’m in love with you.”

He smiled wide and leaned down to give a quick kiss to her nose. “Can I continue now?”

She nodded again, and he gave her another thrust to get her going again. Her slick started to make squelching noises as he picked up the pace again, his knot starting to catch at her entrance, his hand reaching to her clit again and trailing kisses down her throat to her scent gland, licking and sucking at it again.

“One day, if you’ll have me, I’ll bite this pretty neck,” he moaned in her ear as her fingers dug into his back. “Make you mine.”

“Yours, all yours, Bucky…Alpha,” Y/N groaned, leaning her head up and scenting him back. Her soft lips and her tongue against his gland had his eyes rolling in his head again and his fingers gripping her hips harshly. “That’s right. Mine. Mine…mine,” he thrusted harder and faster, angling her hips up to hit deeper.

Y/N screamed his name as she finally came, her hands digging into the flesh between his neck and shoulder, scratching his scent gland and making him see stars as he came with a yell, his knot fully inflating and latching him to her as she nearly squeezed the dear life out of him. He fell on top of her, and she held him as he calmed down, both of them panting and sweaty.

A heady scent filled the air, a smell that screamed satisfied mates. Bucky pulled himself to his side, holding her close so it wouldn’t hurt her to move with him, and covered them with the blankets from her nest. Y/N was delirious after this first round of her heat, her head lolling with exhaustion. “Rest, Omega. We’ve still got a few days, and forever after that.”

She smiled sleepily, “Hmmm, my Alpha.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #smut #marvel #abo #alpha!bucky #alpha!bucky barnes #omega!reader #alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader #bucky barnes oneshot

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realcube · 2 months

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— SAIKI RELATIONSHIP HCS

☆ very hesitant to hug you/hold hands bc he is afraid he might shatter all your bones. prefers kisses, less can go wrong

☆ except that one time he kissed you and was so flustered that a whole galaxy exploded

☆ but it was one of those really distant, useless ones so he moved on

☆ or that time you held his hand and he literally started levitating ??

☆ finishes exams in two seconds then spends the rest of the time annoying you

'i don't mean to disturb you but i noticed you put the wrong answer for question four' 'get out of my head!'

☆ i already wrote a drabble about this but he morphs into different objects to 'prank' you

☆ you always want him to shrink bc what's the point of having a psychic bf if you can't carry him around on your person like a polly pocket

☆ he's very apprehensive about it, however one day he finally agrees to it because you have a shift at work and you really wanted him to join you but it would be weird if he just showed up to your place of work unannounced so he shrunk and you carried him around in your back pocket

☆ that is until you almost sat on him!! and when he dived out to avoid being crushed, he fell onto the sticky work floor covered in dust

☆ still hasn't fully recovered 😿

☆ omg if you are insecure about a physical feature of yours , instead of using his powers to change you, he will use his mind control on the entire world so that your insecurity is now the beauty standard (similar to what he did with his hair)

☆ he doesn't use mind control on you though bc it's rude

☆ in fact he tries to avoid using his powers on you all together bc it would only cause trouble (with the exception of telepathy bc he likes to speak to you.. unlike he does with most people)

☆ and he's very strict with that ethic of his

☆ which is nice and all, and really easy until he does something super embarrassing in front of you

☆ like you see him scream at a cockroach or smth

☆ and he is SO tempted to use memory alteration on you so you could just forget that ever happened

☆ but he just can't bring himself to do it

☆ OR when your birthday was before his so he got you a present but didn't do that much else, but when it was time for his birthday and you went all out, he so wanted to either go back in time and do better or just alter your memory so you think he went all out too

☆ oh and passive aggression doesn't work on him ofc

☆ if you are ever mad or upset at him for whatever reason, you can't be like 'hmph i'm not gonna tell you what you did wrong, you just have to know :<' bc he can.. y'know.. read your mind

☆ and he also knows exactly what to do to make you feel better and forgive him, every single time

☆ plus you can never stay mad at him for long anyway bc he's just too cute!!

☆ too shy to admit that he wants to spend more time with you so he will use his powers as some sort of excuse

as you're about to leave saiki's room, he lies, 'wait. don't go. i have had a precognition that something terrible is going to happen to you if you do.' 'really?' you raise an eyebrow. 'and what might that be?' he wasn't really ready for any follow up questions so he stutters and thinks of the scariest scenario he can 'toritsuka.' ... 'toritsuka is going to do what? jump me?' 'no. just toritsuka.'

☆ for your birthday or anniversary he does something you call the 'saiki special' where he duplicates himself to give you a full body massage

☆ it's what dreams are made of !!!

☆ but yeah it's a lot of effort so he saves it for special occasions

☆ he would so love to watch trashy reality tv shows with you

☆ but he so uses it against you

☆ like if you are ever studying and are like 'why am i working so hard when you are psychic and can literally set us up for the easy life 😫'

☆ he'll be like.. you know who else never worked hard a day in they're life.. the kardashians!! do you really want to end up like that??

�� and when you say yes this is the face he makes 😐

☆ dw though bc as i said before he will be in your head during exams so he can help you a little

☆ his love language is actually spoonfeeding you food and desserts

☆ and yes he actually uses his hands opposed to his mind to control the spoon, just to show you that being a psychic doesn't mean he gets to cut corners!

#saiki k x reader #saiki k headcanons #saiki no psi nan #saiki k #saiki x reader #the disastrous life of saiki k #saiki kusou no psi nan #kusou saiki x reader #saiki kusuo #saiki #kusuo x reader #the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #kusuo saiki #kusuo saiki x reader

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vettelsvee · 2 months

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GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆ PART 1: I'LL SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN [NEXT PART]

goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist f1 masterlist | ao3 | requests or let's talk!

rb sebastian vettel x gf!reader

word count: 4095

summary: seb's gf finds out she's pregnant, and she decides that hiding her pregnancy is the best she could do due to seb's career

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of cheating, curse words, angst, fighting. set on may 2013. for a bit of background: reader and seb have been friends since they were literal babies, but growing up their feelings changed and started dating on 2006.

a/n: this is actually the first chapter of the very first series, Infinity, i posted here! i had to cancel it because i had some problems with wattpad people telling me through indirects i copied their work and i got very, very unmotivated with this story i absolutely love (when actually this was a draft I had of a tom holland fic back in 2017 lol), but i'd love to post the following parts if you like this one! feedback is appreciated, as well as reblogs <3

You pulled the flush and got up, being careful not to get dizzy. You took some paper and wiped the corners of your mouth to remove any possible traces of vomit. You headed to the sink automatically, quickly pulling out the toothbrush you’ve gotten used to carrying since nausea became part of your daily routine. You really tried to get rid of the acidity in your throat and the bad taste in your mouth, but as you expected, and knowing you've been experiencing this more times than you'd like in the past month and a half, it was impossible.

"Y/N, are you still there? Are you okay?" Britta's voice, accompanied by a few knocks on the door, snapped you out of your trance. You startled and forced yourself to answer, even though it was the last thing you feel like doing.

"Yes, I’m coming. Just a sec!"

"Don’t take too long," she replied. "Not that I don’t want you to take your time, but Seb is worried."

Panic-stricken, you suppressed a laugh that almost escaped.

If only he knew what you were about to do…

"Don’t worry, I’ll be right out," you answered.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, contemplating your own reflection longer than you’d like. Minutes passed, and you almost completely lost track of time, aware that you needed to put an end to the intrusive thought that was telling you that what you were about to do was, wrong but inevitably the best thing.

You were going to break away from everything you’ve wanted since you were a child just because things hadn't turned out "right." Seb was at the peak of his professional career, constantly surpassing himself in every race, making history, while you remained stuck in your hometown, working at a bar, dealing with drunks and immature kids pretending to be adults daily, because you didn’t have the luck, or perhaps the financial means, to study what you had dreamed of since you were a child who just wanted to make music.

You leaned on the sink, feeling the cold starting to penetrate your body. A great tremor shook you, and it became increasingly difficult to stay on your feet. Your eyes filled with tears as you confronted the reality of what you were about to do, of the decision you'd made.

Since your boyfriend began not only achieving his dreams but making a name for himself, you thought you didn’t deserve him because you were heading in the opposite direction. Now that you’ve gotten pregnant by him, possibly because the birth control pills you were taking failed for some unknown reason, you felt like this even more.

Despite the love you still felt and possibly always will feel for Sebastian, since you took the pregnancy test with Hanna at one of the most secluded malls in Heppenheim, you knew that letting him know he was going to be a father was never part of your plans.

"Come on, Y/N…" you told yourself, still staring at your reflection. "This is for Seb. You're doing this for him and his career."

You took a deep breath a couple more times, feeling the knot in your throat choking you. You looked at the girl full of insecurities you were one more time. Her eyes reflected doubt and, above all, fear, and you sadly sensed that it will continue to be this way from now on.

Trying to control yourself, you slowly opened the bathroom door, as if wanting to torture yourself. Britta was sitting in one of the chairs, reviewing something in a notebook until you closed the door a bit harder than you meant to.

"Are you really okay?" she asked again, giving you an uncertain look. "I've been hearing you vomit for several weeks now. Don’t you think you should go to the doctor?"

The knot in your throat seemed to tighten even more. See a doctor… Of course you’d been to the doctor! Four weeks and, as of today, four days pregnant was the answer, but no one beyond your parents and your best friend could know.

"Yes, I’m fine," you replied quickly, trying to fake your answer as best as you could. "Don’t worry. It’s probably just a bit of stress," you added, praying she believed you. "I haven't had time to see a doctor, but I assure you, with all my heart, that everything is fine."

And that's why you're leaving the love of your life today.

Britta seemed to hesitate for a moment. Her lips remained slightly open, as if she wanted to say something. Her look gave you the feeling that she didn't quite believe what you were saying.

"Whatever you say, Y/N," she finally said, standing up from her seat. "But seriously, if you need to talk or anything, I’m here for you."

"I know."

"Well, seeing that you're as calm as a lake, we’d better hurry up," she told you. "The last free practice session is about to start, and Seb is probably worried why we haven’t come back yet."

You prepared to leave the room with her. You were more than sure to go with her, but as you were almost out the room, you realize it was now or never.

You stopped before going from the driver’s room to the garage, watching Britta hurry down the stairs, probably aware that you were running late even though there were still about forty-five minutes before the session started.

"Wait, Britta. Just a sec!"

You were convinced your shout from the top of the stairs was heard by more people than you’d like. You wished you could turn invisible as you saw some eyes on you, including Britta’s, which made it hard to speak, and not to mention the variety of emotions you were feeling inside you.

You needed to calm down and act a bit better, or everything you’d been mulling over will end up falling apart.

"I’d like to talk to Seb… alone," you finally said.

"Y/N Y/L/N," she said your name much more seriously now. "You’ve told me that everything is fine, but… are you sure it really is? Are you sure nothing’s wrong?"

No, everything is wrong, and yes, more things are happening than I’d like.

You knew you could trust Britta completely. You were sure that if you told her the news before you did to Seb, she wouldn’t say anything, at least not right away. You wanted to do it; in fact, you’d love to do it because she was like a second mother to you, but you knew you couldn't because, once you left, there’s a really high chance she might end up telling him everything in a moment of weakness.

"Yes, yes, I’m fine. It’s nothing serious, don’t worry," you replied with a sigh, trying to console the PR woman and yourself. "I just need to talk to him about… well, a minor issue."

"Of course. Go get him, I’ll wait here. He’s probably talking to Rocky or Horner about who knows what. He hasn’t gone far, especially considering how eager he was to see you."

"Can you get him for me?" you let it out casually.

You ignored her last comment because now, your nerves were eating you alive. Britta seemed to notice your anxiety, so you were grateful she ignored it and acted as if nothing is wrong.

You sighed in relief when you saw her nod, and you couldn't stop thanking her out loud for what she just did for you.

"Lie down on the physio’s couch and try to rest a bit, you look a bit pale," she insisted. Reluctantly, and after repeating it a couple more times, you finally listened to her. "Seb will be here soon. You know he’ll drop everything when it comes to you."

And it was true. Once she left, you remained lying down, drawing small shapes on your stomach with your index finger. As you whispered things to what would supposedly be your child, a whirlwind of varied thoughts flooded your mind.

A small pressure settled in your chest as you became aware that the idea of breaking up with Sebastian was becoming a reality. You didn't want to face it and largely refused to, but you knew that for both of you, especially him, it was actually the best.

Hiding the truth from the guy you’d loved longer than you’d like to admit is exactly the opposite of what you should do, but because he was the most important person in your life, and you knew him almost as well as yourself, you knew he'd have time to play moms and dads in real life.

This year, the only thing he should focus on was winning his fourth Formula 1 World Championship, not learning how to change diapers or feed a baby.

Your thoughts vanished when the door opened abruptly, startling you. Seb appeared with his suit hanging at his waist, hair completely tousled, and a face revealing worry matching the situation you haven’t told him about yet.

"Sunshine! Britta told me you’re not well. What happened? Do you want to go to the doctor? I don’t care about missing the free practice: you’re the most important thing."

The German quickly took your cheeks in his hands. You hadn’t even sat up, and he was already trying to warm your face with his palms, moving it from side to side and examining you as if he was a doctor with the solution to your problems.

"I’m fine, love, relax," you said, breaking free from his grip.

"I know you better than I’d like, Y/N. You’re pale," he pointed out. "You rarely get pale. The last time I saw you like this was when the police chased us after they caught you doing an illegal concert in the school square."

Your anxiety grew more at his perception. You couldn't hide the lie you concocted with Hanna for much longer.

"Seb, really, I’m fine," you insisted, swallowing hard as you tried to find the right words.

He didn't seem to agree with your answer once again, and he didn't seem willing to let it go easily.

For a moment, you were tempted to tell him the truth, especially when you noticed his eyes fixed on you, not intending to look away until he found out what you really wanted to say… As if he wants to know that he was going to be a father next January if your gynecologist’s calculations and the latest technology were correct.

You mustered the courage to look him in the eyes. His concern overwhelmed you completely. When he made a move to hug you and you fell into his arms, you knew you couldn't keep dodging the truth.

"Seb…" you started to say, slowly pulling away from him, "the truth is that... well, there's something wrong."

He clenched his jaw and got very serious.

"Tell me, Y/N. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me."

"I know, love. I want to tell you everything, but…" you began calmly, your voice breaking. "This is different, and it’s going to be a bit difficult."

"What do you mean by different and difficult? Y/N, what’s going on?"

Your hands fidgeted nervously as you tried to find the best way to cause him the least harm possible. You noticed that the German's nervous and worried tone had dissipated, and now it was anger that seemed to be consuming him.

"I want to tell you, but I don’t know how to do it without hurting you," you admitted in a whisper.

There it was, you had let it slip.

You didn’t know what else to say, so you decided to wait for Sebastian’s response. Anguish had taken hold of him, and you knew he was waiting for your words as much as you were waiting for his.

His behavior wasn’t helping you; on the contrary, the feeling of guilt was consuming you, as you had foreseen, but there was no turning back now.

It was impossible for you to even think coherently enough to say something that made sense.

You watched as your boyfriend’s gaze turned into pure pain, a pleading search for answers that you didn’t dare to give him.

"Seb…" you spoke again, struggling to maintain your composure and reaching for his hand at the same time. "I need you to listen to me, please."

"I just want you to tell me the truth, Y/N," he called you by your full name. That was the indicator that things weren’t going well and wouldn’t be again. "Whatever it is, I’ll be able to deal with it."

"I don’t want us to be together anymore," you declared. "I’m not in love with you anymore. I haven’t been for about a month or so."

The silence that flooded the room after your false confession was too uncomfortable. His eyes filled with tears; yours did too, but for a different reason than his.

He thought you had stopped loving him when, in fact, you loved him more than ever, especially now.

"Why are you telling me this? Why, Y/N?" he wanted to know. "I thought we were great… I really believed we were better than ever."

"I don’t know, Seb," you murmured between sobs, trying to hide your face so he wouldn’t see how truly affected you were. "There are… there are couples that stop loving each other, and that’s what I think has happened with me. With us."

"What can I do to make you fall in love with me again? I can’t lose you. I can’t lose the sunshine of my life, not when we promised each other a life together."

"You can’t do anything, Seb, and I’m really sorry," you falsely admitted with sadness, trying not to succumb to his desperate plea.

"Sometimes things stop being what they were in the beginning, and, well… ours is no longer what it used to be."

"Of course, it’s not what it used to be! Everything was getting better until you decided to drop this on me, Y/N!" Sebastian yelled at you.

"I was even going to ask you if you wanted us to get…"

"And that’s why I feel it’s better if we move on, but each on our own path!" you interrupted with another shout.

It’s not real, Y/N. Everything you’re saying is a lie.

You inhaled and exhaled more times than you would have liked, but it felt necessary. This charade to try to make Seb’s life a little better was not only costing you your relationship but also your mental health in the long run.

"Is there someone else, Y/N?"

Vettel's voice denoted anger. Rage consumed him at the possibility that there was an answer he didn’t want to hear. His fists, clenched tightly and turning his knuckles white, were proof of it.

"No, not exactly."

And once again, the camouflaged truth.

"What are you saying?" he spat at you, getting closer and closer, consumed by anguish.

"I mean not exactly, but… yes. There is someone else, Seb," you admitted.

The shouts, full of reproaches, insults, and slurs, flooded the room.

You tried to turn a deaf ear. You thought this was all part of a performance and tried to convince yourself that in the future, everything would be fine when you knew it would be the opposite.

"How could you do this to me, Y/N?! How could you cheat on me after almost seven fucking years together?!" Sebastian shouted, taking out his anger on a vase on his desk, throwing it to the ground, spilling the water and the flowers he had given you just a day ago.

"We’ve been through so many things together. We’ve grown up together and fulfilled our dreams together, and now you’re leaving me for some guy you must have slept with on a whim?!"

"Do you think this is easy for me, Sebastian?" you replied, your words true for once. "Stop lying, okay? The only person who has fulfilled their dreams here is you," you said, showing your disagreement on that topic that you knew hurt you and that he had mentioned to hurt you. "While you’ve been living your life as a driver and being the center of attention, I’ve kept working in the same disgusting bar full of creepy old men I’ve been working at since I finished high school," you shouted, furious. You knew this kind of stress wasn’t good for the baby, but right now you didn’t care. "I’ve been saving as much as I could to build a prosperous future even though my salary was a pittance, composing songs and singing them with the hope that they’ll reach someone someday and not be forgotten."

"I’ve told you a million times that you don’t need to work in that fucking bar full of drunk old men who fuck you with their eyes to have a good life," he protested, now much calmer. "With what they pay me we can live comfortably. It's more than enough for both of us."

"I know," you responded calmly, though you were on the verge of an anxiety attack, "but I also know that I can achieve things on my own without anyone’s help."

The blonde let out an ironic laugh. Immediately, he crossed his arms, lifted his head, and looked at you.

"You’ve always been too stubborn, Y/N. Now I see what your future expectations are. After all, I understand: if you never got into the Berlin Art Academy on your own, and you’re still working at the same place after so long…"

You stood still, not knowing what to say or do because you knew exactly what he meant with every word that came out of his mouth. It felt like your feet were cemented to the ground; his words continuously hitting you, wanting to hurt you more and more.

"How dare you to say that to me?"

If you were already shaken and almost broken after this whole conversation, now you were completely sunk. Seeing your reaction, tears streaming down your cheeks non-stop, he seemed to regret it.

Quickly, he approached you, opening his arms intending for you to bury yourself in them. You, as stubborn as he said you were, refused not only the hug but any physical and non-physical contact he wanted to have with you.

"Y/N, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to say that," yes, that was clear, but it had already been said, and the damage was done. "I was wrong. Please forgive me."

No matter how much he kept talking, trying to apologize and make amends, there was nothing else to do.

Without saying anything else, you began to gather all your belongings from the driver’s room of who could now be considered your ex-boyfriend. You didn’t want to do it; you didn’t want to start the zero-contact phase with the boy you had loved since you were ten years old, the one who had loved you like no one ever had before and like no one ever would.

You were saying goodbye to the father of your child to venture into raising her alone so he could pursue his dream in peace and achieve all the successes he so longed for.

“What are you doing, Y/N?”

“Packing. I’m leaving.”

Your eyes were fixed on the floor, your hands fumbling with the few belongings left to pack in the small backpack you usually took to the paddock. Now, you would have to return to your hotel room and quickly pack everything into the suitcase, rush to the airport, and pray you didn’t miss the flight.

“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” the blonde frowned, incredulous. “It’s Friday, Y/N, we have the whole weekend ahead of us.”

“Well, from now on, you’ll have all the weekends to yourself,” you shook your head, unable to bear his comments trying to make you stay. “From now on, you won’t have me here on weekends, nor in your life. I’m leaving your life, and I’m not coming back,” you repeated, emphasizing the finality of your words.

Vettel was speechless at your declaration. He kept shaking his head, approaching you, trying to take your belongings, but you stopped him.

No matter how much you wanted to, you weren’t going to stay.

“What do you mean by ‘leaving my life and not coming back’?”

“It means I’m going back to Heppenheim, Sebastian,” you turned to him, trying to maintain composure. “I’m going back, you’ll also end up going back even though we live… you live in Switzerland,” you immediately corrected yourself, “but I hope we never see each other again.”

The firmness behind your words scared you. Everything was a lie that, as the conversation progressed, had grown until you doubted what was real and what wasn’t.

“I really hope you achieve everything you are working hard for,” you continued, insisting to yourself not to break down right there. “I hope you win the championship this year and get the four consecutive ones you’ve wanted for. You, more than anyone, deserve all of it, and I know you’re capable of that and much more.”

You said nothing more because you had stopped being strong. You left, without looking back, the room where you had spent much more time than imaginable, and one of the many places that made up the story starring Sebastian Vettel and you.

You carefully descended the stairs. You walked with a false sense of security through the RedBull garage, dodging any questions about why you were crying, where you were going, and if you had argued with the team’s golden boy, including the endless questions from Britta Roeske that you were trying to ignore at all costs.

You felt curious eyes following you wherever you went, but you didn’t care in the slightest. It was all done.

Now, it was just you and the little pea, or whatever size the baby was.

“Y/N, wait!”

Sebastian’s desperate shouts echoed behind you, getting closer.

You stopped dead, clutching the only strap of the backpack hanging over your shoulder. You slowly turned toward the direction the voices seemed to be coming from and saw the driver running to you, almost choking, as he wiped tears from his cheeks and even those still falling from his eyes.

“I love you, Y/N.”

His voice was choked, and his hands acted on their own. Still, it didn’t stop him from taking your face in his hands and pulling you into a kiss that unleashed a whirlwind of emotions, where you tasted each other’s tears as you had done many times in your relationship. Where you silently said millions of I love yous that only you and he knew perfectly.

“Please, don’t go, sunshine,” the German expressed. “Whatever it is, we can work on it, but please, don’t let us end.”

“I love you too, Seb, but there’s someone else.”

You finally confessed… not in the most ideal way, but in the right one, especially considering what your goal was after all this trail of lies.

“There’s a new person in my life, and I’m afraid to say that no matter how much I love you, I love them more than I love you, and I always will,” you continued, knowing that every word you were saying about your baby was true. “I love you, Sebastian Vettel, and I’ll never stop loving you, but that person is my main priority right now.”

“Have you been unfaithful?”

Sometimes silence is worth more than a thousand words. In this case, it was the exact opposite.

You stood in front of him for a few seconds, debating internally whether to answer or leave as calmly as possible, without attracting more attention than you already had. You decided on the latter because you couldn’t speak, and the tears wouldn’t let you see clearly; not to mention your judgment was so clouded that you couldn’t think clearly about the next step to end this nightmare.

You finally directed one last look at Seb; whispered that you loved him and always would, even though it was over between you.

All it took was for you to lower your head, turn around, and continue walking, fighting not to look back, to realize that you had made the biggest mistake of your life and would never, for anything in the world, be able to forgive yourself.

And you knew perfectly well that Seb wouldn’t either.

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 months

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never not mine | jjk | "i hear..."

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

Bygones will be bygone eras, fading into grey. Breaking up with Jeon Jungkook had been a vicious, clean break. He tried to take it back, but the damage was already done. You walked out of the world you didn't belong in, at least until Kim Taehyung calls your name.

this is part i | part ii | part iii

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of controlling behaviors in a romantic relationship; reader is emotionally distant after said breakup; second chance romance?; angst and fluff and feels; your POV

non-idol!AU; fashion model!Jungkook — ft fellow model/actor!Kim Taehyung and model/businessman!Kim Seokjin; and a certain Maestro cameo; reader is not part of the entertainment industry

“Please love me again.”

You could hear him saying it but you pretended not to hear. You pretended not to know. You pretended he wasn’t there. He was persona non grata. No, he was simply another blurry face amongst many that faded into the grey background of grey days. He was only a ghost. If he happened to be in the same place as you were, it wasn’t any of your damn business. People were allowed to be wherever they wanted to be.

“I’m sorry.”

Yes, he was.

Sorry that he couldn’t walk all over you like he wanted. Sorry that he couldn’t control you on that leash like he wanted. Sorry that you had the balls to cut all ties and not put up with his selfish bullshit anymore. Sorry. What a word. Your response had not been a vindictive one, though. You hadn’t blocked him on social media. You figured he would block you himself. The last moments were him berating you for being late, what if something happened to you, I was worried, and you snapping. It had taken every fiber of your being to not fling your clutch in his face and tell him to take himself out if he cared so much.

“I understand what you meant now.”

The first couple times he attempted to speak to you after it all, you were ice-cold furious. So angry that you simply refused to speak to avoid spitting literal fire. So, you didn’t. And then it became a habit. Then you stopped caring. You stopped feeling. You lived your life.

Alone.

Like an abandoned puppy, Jeon Jungkook followed you every chance he got, but there were less and less chances as time went on. You would walk past him. He would follow until it was definitely too creepy and simply stop, staring after you with a lost look in his empty eyes. Everyone could see the broken heart in his stare.

A lot of people asked you what happened.

It was a valid question.

It was just as valid for you to not answer.

“I’m not going to talk about that. We can talk about something else.”

You avoided people who couldn’t let it go or cut them out altogether. What was the point of shit-talking, taking sides, making yourself angry over things that couldn’t be changed? What was the point of being upset over nights that couldn’t be taken back? Over phone calls and you sitting alone in a restaurant, empty chair in front of you and the reason in your hand, an opportunity came up, I’m leaving for Los Angeles in the morning, I need to pack, bye. Over trips suddenly cut short in the middle, the agency called, another model got sick last minute so I gotta go, just stay here and have fun. By yourself. Over accusations, what are you doing right now, send a photo, now. Over doubts, are you really at the supermarket, I don’t know, you could be doing anything, I’m not there after all. Over being five minutes late because the taxi you had taken was driven by an older gentleman chatting away, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him to shut up simply because of a boy.

Five minutes.

“Where were you? You need to tell me if you’re late. What if something happened? I was worried.”

“The driver was talking to me.”

“And you couldn’t text that you were okay?”

“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“Am I not your priority?” he had hissed.

Snap.

All those times, all those moments, okay, I understand, it’s fine, you can make it up to me later, they all came back to you in vivid recollections, and you had stared at Jeon Jungkook. All those people saying how lucky you must be having such a good-looking guy, an actual fashion model, must be so nice, and you only said nice things about him because it didn’t occur to you to complain, no, it would be silly to complain about someone you loved. That was part of loving someone, wasn’t it, being in love was putting up with these things and believing in their words. All those instances, prove what you’re doing, send a photo. Now. All that shit got you to this moment right here, right now, under this furious scrutiny, his dark brows furrowed, his pretty mouth twisted in a frown, his question ringing in your ears.

His accusation in which he had already deemed you guilty.

“The fuck you say to me?” you had growled softly.

Never once did you ask him what he was doing in the destination that he was at. Never once did you fault him for going out and having fun. Never once did you say anything about the multiple social posts of beaches and hotels and nightclubs and everyone scantily-clad, his arms around fellow models, pressed up against fabulous guys and glamorous girls. If he didn’t answer you for a couple days, you assumed it was due to long shoot days and combined jetlag making him crash. The very answer he gave you the first time you asked. You believed him then. There was no need to ask for confirmation over and over if you trusted him. And you did trust him.

Now, this.

“I was five minutes late. If I thought I would be later, I would have texted you,” you explained with emotionless calm. “At least I showed up. At least I didn’t make you sit down in the restaurant, wait around for an hour only to get a text that you aren’t coming. Not even a phone call anymore.”

You hadn’t raised your voice.

He had looked taken aback.

“But… I thought you would understand.”

“Of course, I understand.” The seething anger was white-hot but your tone was crystal-clear cold. “I can understand, as long as you show me some grace and appreciation for not losing my shit every time it happens. Am I not your priority? When have I ever been yours?”

He tried to answer quickly. “You’re always–”

But you were already pulling up the rideshare app, calling another car to come pick you up. “Am I? Then why accuse me the second I get out of the car? Where was I? In the taxi. You saw me get out of it. Why are you holding five minutes over my head like a death sentence, as if I surely betrayed you in those extra five minutes? If it’s you it could be five, thirty, hours, but I have to understand you are networking. I have to understand you are being personable. I have to understand that you are practicing being friendly because it doesn’t come naturally to you.”

Jungkook simply gawked at you, wide-eyed.

You narrowed your eyes, creating a distance he could no longer cross.

“Am I just here so you have someone to visit when you’re bored? Someone to fuck?”

Maybe the vulgarity was taking it too far. Maybe saying all of this in public right now was in poor taste. His jarring question rang in your head. Am I not your priority? Maybe you were wrong to say it all now, but it was the way he said it, as if your love for him had become invalid once you were five minutes late to the appointed time for this date that you didn’t know whether or not he would abandon you in the middle of or take you home and rock your world – and you realized you didn’t care what the outcome was.

You just didn’t give a fuck anymore.

There were so many things he could have done. He could break up with you if his career was more important. He could say sorry more. He could find ways to make it up to you. He could, but he didn’t, and you understood. But this. This you could not understand. This he could not do.

No.

This you would not let him do.

If this was innocent concern, he made it worse by coming off as suffocating and hovering. Now, you realized that no excuse would have been good enough to convince him otherwise. He had already made up his mind to attack you the second you walked out of that car, delivering in the fatal blow instantly. All those moments. All those times had become hair-thin cracks, marring the bond between you and him, tiny little slices to kill the relationship and your will to be in it.

“I don’t think…”

He trailed off, not completing his thought.

The car pulled up.

This was surely the meaning of quiet treason.

“No, you don’t,” you had finished for him with icy agreement. “You expect. You expect me to be here and hold your hand when you want it, and now I know you will never ask me if I ever need my hand held.”

You had stepped away from the curb, not once raising your voice, no longer looking at him, your knuckles digging into your beaded black clutch. You expected it to hurt at least a little.

It was nothing compared to this death by a thousand cuts.

“W-Wait!”

You didn’t.

You had opened the car door and closed it quickly. The driver requested you to confirm your name. You tersely nodded. They didn’t ask any further questions even as you witnessed Jungkook’s shocked face in the side mirror as the vehicle drove away. You didn’t look back. You didn’t even cry. Maybe you should have given him a chance to say something. A chance to change.

Except you had.

This wasn’t the first time that you had this conversation, although the first time was you sitting him down and saying, hey, if you’re not sure about your schedule, let’s not arrange any dates around those days. We can go out when things settle down. The answer was agreement and all was well for a couple weeks. And then it would happen again. And then you would bring it up again. Whoops. And again.Then he would ask you what you were doing when he wasn’t there. Oh, really? Send pictures.You asking, this is a bit much, isn’t it? The answer being, I want to know you’re safe. You finally admitting that it drove you a bit crazy. Him laughing and saying he was a bit of a handful, brushing away your concerns in light of his own.

Five minutes.

Am I not your priority?

The anger had nowhere to go.

Like how summer turned into fall and then into winter, the anger grew cold and dense and concentrated. A stone. Then one day you turned it over and found nothing underneath. You stopped caring. On one hand, you could have been the bigger person and reached out. On another hand, you didn’t see the reason in wasting any more time. What good was closure? What good would it do, talking it out and getting the same result? Deserve this, deserve that. Fair or not, at the end of the day, it didn’t work and there was no forcing something if neither party wanted to really try. I understand, until you couldn’t anymore.

Now.

Now, you would sit alone at restaurants and not be disappointed.

Table for one, yes, thank you.

Now you would spend hours at the games store and no one would be asking you to take pictures and prove that you were there. He used to play video games too, but he gradually fell out of them. Busy. Felt like he couldn’t keep up. Sold his PC because he was never home.

Emptiness where he had once enjoyed spending that time with you.

You would stay at the music store for a long time, looking over albums and wondering if you should buy them. It had been such a long time. You never listened to CDs anymore although you had been obsessed with music as a kid. The past felt like a different time. Memories of a clunky CD player and wired headphones with the metal arch over your head and those spongey earcups. Now you had wireless earbuds and a phone. Still, you looked over the colorful albums and wondered if you should get one, just to have it or maybe even put it on display. He used to listen to a lot of music too. Probably still did, on planes and in cars. He used to share your taste.

Now you didn’t have to share anything.

You stuck with your favorites, still, for years. It was an ever-growing list of popular artists as well as lesser-known indie artists that you never forgot. You made sure to listen to the top hits as well since those songs were popular for a reason. The occasional earworm could lead you down a pleasant rabbit hole, too.

You picked up an album of a band you liked but had never owned and went home.

Got that dopamine unboxing it and smiling at the photocards. Looked through the extras with the album on repeat playing through your Bluetooth speaker. You didn’t do these kinds of things in front of Jungkook usually. You had always prioritized engaging with him. Listening to his stories, looking at the photos of places he had been, shaking your head at the long hours or difficult call times. Every moment precious because you would never know when it would be cut short.

You had made everything about him when in his presence.

You hadn’t blasted the relationship all over social media although it was obvious. For the most part, people had been respectful. You hadn’t deleted all the photos he was in, the photos he had taken of you, nor had you blocked him. People asked. You repeated the same thing over and over. I’m not going to talk about that. We can talk about something else. People eventually stopped asking. Old news was old news. There was no visible resentment, and so the interest died out.

You caught Jungkook looking at you from across the concessions stand at the movie theater.

Those big dark brown eyes filled with rueful invitation.

You didn’t know what movie he was going into, but you turned away and didn’t think about it much.

Watched the movie you paid for, alone.

Went home.

Alone.

You used to watch movies twice. Once by yourself when it released, then a second time when Jungkook could make it. When he could. Sometimes he couldn’t and the movie was already out of theaters. Then you both would watch it at home when it released on streaming services. It was what it was. You enjoyed movies. You had the time and money to watch them twice. But now you didn’t have to.

That was nice.

You weren’t sure if Jungkook was deliberately going places that you often frequented or if it was coincidence. It was likely the latter, because he usually wasn’t alone. He had a group of friends that lived in this area and often came to visit them. He used to joke that it must have been fate for you to meet as your friend circles didn’t overlap. At least he had not shown up to the video games store or the music store you usually went to, so you didn’t feel threatened in any way. Maybe he was visiting his friends more because he was sad. Maybe he was visiting them more in hopes of seeing you, the same tactic he used when he first asked you out. Maybe it was both.

It was probably both.

Sometimes you would cry in frustration.

Sometimes you would play games to distract yourself.

Sometimes you didn’t mind too much as the days passed. Sometimes you would look outside and admire the sun. Sometimes it would rain and that was nice too. Sometimes you were sad but it wasn’t a negative feeling. Such was the natural course. Sadness was the promise of happiness to come, because one couldn’t exist without the other.

At least, you believed so.

Ther wasn’t much more you could do than that.

For a bit there you had almost thought the relationship hadn’t mattered because you had walked away so coldly. In some ways, you wished you could take it back. In other ways, you didn’t. It was hard to discount years of your life simply because of how the chapter ended. There had definitely been unique experiences that you were unlikely to relive. You used to attend lavish parties with Jungkook, especially many around the holidays. You would dress up in your best and put on a brave face. A lovely dress, the high heels he brought you, carefully done makeup and hair. Jungkook would walk in with you gliding beside him, silently holding his arm. People would tell you how fun it was working with him and how lucky he was to have such a pretty and understanding lady. These were all work events full of unfamiliar faces. Jungkook used to be reserved and hang out with you in corners but, as he got more popular, more people roped him into conversations, remember this, and he would slip in with his friends, naturally, laughing and smiling. You would wait nearby, at yet another party surrounded by better bodies, and somehow he would find you at the end of the night, ask you if you had fun.

And you would smile and assure him.

“Something like that.”

The best parties were the ones thrown by his friend Kim Taehyung. He had been in the entertainment industry for a long time, becoming Jungkook’s friend though their crossed paths in modeling. He had an affliction for celebration and Jungkook was always invited, which meant you, too, bore witness to many magnificent events hosted by him. The most extravagant were his own birthday parties. Quite so, as the date was after Christmas, and he continued the festive mood. Taehyung loved a theme. He would rent specific venues, arrange for live music, impose a dress code, everything. One year, he flew everyone out to Paris and rented an entire restaurant to celebrate. Even if you barely knew anyone there, it was fun being in a different world created by Taehyung’s magical vision. Everyone was thrown into it together, experiencing the vibes of an old American jazz club, the white beaches with glass waters during Christmastime, or a playful night filled with Taehyung’s favorite childhood games and sweet treats, complete with food stalls from the area of Daegu he grew up in.

You didn’t fit in, but no one did because these were all Taehyung’s fantasies brought to life.

He always sent the invitations by physical mail, on stunning stationery to match the theme. Someone else must have created them, but seemingly Taehyung approved them all as every single one contained his unique flourishing signature. You kept them in a box. They were too pretty to throw away.

You had received an invitation this year too, to a midnight masquerade ball, but you didn’t go.

Perhaps he didn’t know yet. Or, perhaps he did know and Jungkook asked him to invite you. They were quite close. If there was a plan, you didn’t take the bait. The date came and went. Maybe Taehyung considered you a friend, but that was probably a stretch. Jungkook didn’t like you talking to Taehyung too much.

Apparently, you made him smile too big.

Or something.

Taehyung had an entire party to get to every time you met him, anyway. You would have to shoo him off because there was very little night and Taehyung wanted to speak to every guest one-on-one. He was sincere like that. He was romantic like that. He was dark and handsome and in his own head, in his constant dream of living his wonderful life that, from what you could discern, he deserved. He even always remembered to ask the staff working at his party to eat cake with them. At the end of the night, Taehyung would pick up the microphone and thank the guests for coming and thank the staff for working hard to provide everyone with a good time. Taehyung always remembered to say thank you and he always made sure to express his gratitude to everyone, no matter their status.

You missed being at his party, a little bit, if only just to witness a fairy-tale in real life.

But you weren’t part of Jeon Jungkook’s world anymore.

And so you missed the party.

Please love me again.

On quiet, grey days, you realized how very boring your life was. On quiet, grey days, you were tempted to think about the good times. About his laugh, about his starry eyes when you came into view, about enchanted nights where you would both make magic between bodies. On quiet, grey days, you were tempted to pick out all his flaws until the memories were burned, images stricken with ash, never to be the same again. On quiet, grey days, you had every chance to run back or run away, at least in your head, but instead you lived your very boring life doing neither of those choices.

Whether you loved him or hated him, the result would still be the same.

You entered the artisan tea shop and greeted the staff. You talked about how your father was into tea, chatted about what would make a good gift. The prices of the sets. The amount of loose-leaf tea and how many cups it would make. The various flavors and strength. You smelled a bunch of different ones. Rejected some, remained indecisive about others, accepted a few as contenders.

You heard the bell by the door chime again, musical and clear.

A male’s voice, deep and polite.

You tensed. Your body knew before your mind caught up. You pointed to several flavors you had liked, and the employee suggested a gift box sampler featuring a watercolor camellia-printed limited-edition teacup set that you agreed to readily, all the while vaguely aware of a tingling behind your neck and a vigilant tension forming in your lungs. But it wasn’t until your name was called that you turned around by instinct, and then froze with recognition. Dark brown eyes under graceful black-brown waves. Tan skin glimmering under the lights. The image completed by a three-piece chocolate brown suit paired with a ruffled warm gray dress shirt and sharp dark leather oxfords. The stylish man smiled widely, box-like, and walked towards you without hesitation.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Kim Taehyung must have known, and yet.

You bowed lightly. “Hello.”

The sales associate was immediately charmed by Taehyung’s deep voice and dashing appearance, their gloved hands hovering over the half-packed box and openly ogling the demandingly handsome gentleman that took your hand warmly before lightly kissing your knuckles. Straight out of a movie. Probably learned it from one, or from traveling in Europe. He let go after a lingering moment.

He had said your name with the same velvety warmth he had at all of his parties.

It had hurt, but it wasn’t his fault.

“How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while. Are you buying something?” He raised his head and daintily smiled at the employee before giving you his full attention again. “Let me pay for it.”

“No, ah,” you interrupted him quickly, handing over your card before Taehyung could reach into his heavily lined pockets. “No, sorry. I’m buying a gift for my father.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he apologized immediately, retracting his hands. “I meant to do something nice for you and I’ve overstepped.”

“It’s… It’s alright,” you chuckled softly, trying to dissipate the awkwardness. You turned slightly to sign the receipt, not looking at the price. Your card went back into your black leather bow purse. “You had no way of knowing. How are you? And your parents?”

Taehyung was still a little sheepish but he remained next to you at a respectful distance. “Me? I guess you could say I’m holding on. I think I might take a small break soon and spend a week with my family. How did you know I was thinking of them?” He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re a mind-reader.”

You shook your head with a smile, taking the beautifully wrapped bag and bowing in gratitude to the employee. “No, you’ve just never been a big tea drinker. It was only a guess.”

He scratched the back of his head and sighed lightheartedly. “Ah, you’re right. I wanted to buy a grown-up gift, but maybe I should have asked what they wanted. I don’t know the first thing about tea.”

You both began to walk towards the entrance.

“You’re their adorable child. They will love anything you gift them.”

Taehyung grinned. “So, you think I’m adorable?”

You opened your mouth and then.

Then you were suddenly hyperaware of the brightness of the lights in the tea store. Suddenly aware of all the customers around you milling about and chatting with their friends and the employees. Suddenly the scents of the store were too strong and too varied and suddenly a phantom grip on your arm from a time long past pulled you away from your center, into the past, and you remembered all the times you stood in a corner of a party, on the outskirts of alcohol, music, and magic, wondering why you were so, so alone.

You plastered a smile on your face and replied pleasantly.

“Of course, you are, Kim Taehyung.”

It lasted a second.

Maybe less.

Taehyung gazed at you with curious eyes.

You kept the smile on your face.

He stepped past you and opened the door, gesturing you to walk out before him in the most gentlemanly way, smiling with his eyes crinkling as they usually did when he laughed or was in his comfort zone. “Come. Let me at least treat you to lunch,” he insisted.

You accepted his graciousness and turned as you walked to face him as you spoke. “That’s really not necessary. I’m sure you’re very busy.”

He chuckled, the sound coming deep from his chest. “Of course, I’m busy, but I always have time for a friend.” He shrugged nonchalantly, grinning. “My manager expects this kind of behavior from me anyway.”

You paused, looking up at him. “Friend?”

Flutters of lashes and confusion in dark brown orbs.

“Are we not friends?”

People around you continued walking, giving you and Taehyung weird looks. He didn’t seem to notice, undeterred by the world around him that wasn’t currently in his focus, the main character at every moment in his life, oblivious to anyone trying to get under his skin with their judgements, never the accessory to someone else.

It turned out to be more difficult than you thought, saying the words.

“I… well… Don’t you know that Jeon Jungkook and I aren’t dating anymore?”

Taehyung tilted his head with childlike innocence.

“Um… so you don’t eat lunch anymore?”

You blinked at him.

“Huh?”

He gave you this look. You stared back. For a moment the disconnect was so tangible that you almost had a word for it. A zephyr ruffled Taehyung’s soft curls. The sun made his skin glow and his dark eyes sparkle. Small signs of Mother Nature affectionately acknowledging one of her children. He smiled. It was then that you realized this was a decision you could make. A decision of a lonely self, not a lonely self that was an extension of another. A yes or no that didn’t have to be polluted by the past.

“Well…”

Your hands tightened on the straps of the gift bag.

“If you’ll have me.”

Taehyung grinned. “I know just the spot! You’ll love it.”

It was nice lunch.

No, it was wonderful time.

You had been worried that you would be underdressed in your calf-length flowy black dress and chunky knit lavender cardigan, but you fit right in. Taehyung had picked a busy rooftop brunch spot. It was French-themed, or at least as French as Korea could get. There was a bit more wood than brass and crystals. It still made for a nice hideaway. It seemed Taehyung was well recognized here, and yet people maintained a distance regardless. It must have been his polite yet stern demeanor. When he sat down though, he seemed to relax, waving a hand and telling you to order whatever you liked.

You never could turn down good brioche.

You thought it would have been awkward, at least. It wasn’t. He talked about his work, asked about yours. Asked what you thought about this or that. Memories from past events, what you liked or didn’t like. What he paid too much for that nobody noticed, along with a hearty laugh, and moments he loved, such as having a group photo at every one of his events. You asked him if he enjoyed planning the events themselves. He confessed with a roughish smile that he had a planner for all those details. You thought it strange to spend so much money on such occasions, but there was something pure about it too. Besides, you ended up getting your answer.

“What’s the most important lesson in your life you’ve learned so far?” Taehyung abruptly asked, sitting up in alarm.

You blinked at his suddenness. “Uh… I don’t know. I would have to think about it.” Your lips upturned slightly, then you tilted your head and looked back at him. “What about you? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your life so far?”

He relaxed back in his chair. His expression became pensive. You paused in mid-bite, seeing him look a bit sheepish.

“You’re not the first person to ask me about the parties,” Taehyung chuckled deep from his chest. “A lot of people tell me it’s a waste of money. And it is to other people, but it isn’t to me. The most important lesson I’ve ever learned was…”

He raised his head with a small smile.

“You can’t get time back.”

You remembered the extensive decor, the delicate hors d'oeuvres, even the various perfumes sprayed into the air complimenting the theme of each party. Exquisite and memorable details. Taehyung ticked his head, seemingly recalling it all too.

“I think I’ve mentioned this, but my grandmother was the closest maternal figure I had,” he explained, fondly smiling. “I’m close to my parents too, but they had to work a lot to give me a good life, so I spent a lot of time with my siblings and grandparents. My grandmother used to hold celebrations for the achievements I had, even if they were mediocre or not that impressive. Nothing extravagant, or anything. A little cake or my favorite sweets. She would sing for me and clap her hands. She would say, it’s my duty to give you good memories. As I got older, I became busy, of course, chasing dreams, and I didn’t make time for her small celebrations any more. I was just out of university when she passed away. I often think I hadn’t spent enough time with her. Time is money, as they say. Next time, I would say, until there wasn’t a next time.”

The weight of his words settled on the table.

“It’s not your fault,” you reminded him, but Taehyung simply smiled and shook his head.

“It wasn’t anybody’s fault,” he agreed. “But that wasn’t it. I couldn’t get all that time back. Sure, did I take jobs that put me in a really good place now? Yeah. Yeah, of course, I make a lot of money now since young me jumped at every chance to model for a small brand or do a single-run commercial. I really love my career. I love that, because I did the hard work, I even get offers to act in primetime dramas now. But I should have made less. I should have made time. I should have gone to see her and let her do her duty to give me good memories.”

He waved his hands in a slight shrug. You could tell he was still regretful about it, but there was something else too. He looked directly at you with that boxy grin of his.

“I decided, then, that I too wanted to give good memories to the people that are precious to me. I have all this money, anyway. Why waste it on things? I want to waste it on memories. I want people to look forward to special days, to celebrate life, to look back on a fun time.”

So that was why.

“That is what is really important to me.”

Kim Taehyung wasn’t only good looks, of course.

“I’ve yapped long enough. What is really important to you?” he asked again, chuckling.

“Oh, I…”

And there were no words.

You straightened, startled by your own silence. There were lots of important things, weren’t there? There was… and there wasn’t. Friends, sure. And, also, friends came in and out of your life. You didn’t take it personally. Family, yes. Cordial but not deep. They had their own lives to live. You almost opened your mouth to say these generic things, and then you caught the look in Taehyung’s eye and stopped.

This basic question was not so basic after all.

“I… Am I boring?” you blurted with a start.

“Boring?” Taehyung frowned. “No, you’re not.”

Your brows furrowed. “Aren’t I?”

He laughed, hearty and deep. “Trust me. You’re not boring. We wouldn’t be having a conversation if you were boring.”

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Why are we having a conversation?”

Taehyung smiled warmly.

“Because I appreciate your outlook on life.”

You were taken aback.

“What?”

He nodded. “Isn’t it obvious?” He waved a hand carelessly. “I’ve met so many people doing what I do. Some people are just nice to you because of money. Or think you can boost their reputation. Or they think they can take advantage of you. You’ve been around all that too, no?” He did not mention Jungkook.

“Oh, well…” you hesitated. “Not anymore. I’m pretty ordinary.”

A small frown. “No, everyone is extraordinary.”

You scoffed. “I’m only an accountant. Not even one that works closely with my own clients – I’m just the one at the firm that does the final review over everyone’s work to make sure we don’t get into legal trouble. That’s nothing like what you do.”

He impatiently swept your words away. “Everyone is extraordinary,” he repeated.

“I don’t think–”

“You are different,” Taehyung pressed. “You had been introduced to a different world than your own and you could have been a vulture. You could have taken for your own sake. You could have done everything you could to be ‘one of us’. You could have scorned us too, called it all superficial and stupid. But you didn’t.” He crossed his arms to make his point. “You observed. You listened. You treated me, the people around me, everyone as their own person. We weren’t just some dumb rich people to you. We were individuals.”

You didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t something you had ever consciously thought about before.

“There are so many people that believe in using others, either in a beneficial way or in a cruel way,” sighed Taehyung. “It’s a difficult world. We all need to live.” He reached over and made you jump by placing his hand over the back of yours. “Don’t give up on that, okay?”

Your stared at him with wide eyes. “On… what?”

Almost. You didn’t quite have an answer for the most important lesson in your life you had learned so far. But almost. Kim Taehyung cocooned his palm over your hand and trapped you with his determined brown eyes, straight from a drama scene. A heavenly prince in a fancy café. He looked back to you very seriously, taking all of your attention away from the whispering conversations on other tables, away from the clinking plates and glasses, away from all distractions.

“Don’t give up on the way you want to live.”

Those small moments.

From eating dinner alone to watching movies alone to buying that album and unboxing it yourself to looking outside, days and nights, wondering what could have been and killing that thought over and over again.

“The way… I want to live?” you echoed breathlessly.

The clear, musical chime of the bell by the entrance sang through the air, mingling with the conversation and consumption. A halo of sound that rang true over every table to reach every customer. It was as striking as it was lovely, flawlessly melding into the moment. A pure sound that could trigger a pleasant déjà vu, the recall of a good chat over good food.

Taehyung grinned with his beautiful, perfectly white teeth.

“I want you to have good memories. Whatever you decide, let us make good memories with those precious to us.”

You decided, then and there, that you needed to start doing things.

“Oh, good, you’re home. That would have been awfully embarrassing.”

“W-What…?”

You backed up in your slippers as a stunningly well-dressed man flourished into your home like an astronaut landing on the moon. That was, if the moon was your front door. The black mat was space-themed, printed with abstract stars and a grayish circle. It wasn’t entirely inaccurate. Your pajamas were also soft black cotton with a twinkly star print, although your slippers were simple, white furry poofs that felt like walking on clouds.

“Take this.”

“What is – oof!”

In contrast to your outfit, the man who had entered your home looked like he had stepped off the runway. He wore light blue trousers that you almost mistook for jeans, however they had a tone-on-tone print that clearly indicated the luxury designer. Underneath the navy-blue duster coat was a crisp white shirt pressed to the gods with distinctive sky-blue trim. A quick glimpse and anyone would know the inner lining of the duster was blue silk, the matching tone-on-tone print subtle and obvious at the same time. You nearly buckled under the weight of a wooden box, gasping as you saw the slices of high-grade beef in a gold bow. The man gestured with his hand in a swooping manner.

“I heard all about it from Taehyung,” he was saying, shrugging his broad shoulders heavily.

“Heard…?” You were still reeling from the unexpected guest and a box of meat. “What’s this, I can’t accept th–”

The man shot you a scathing look. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he chided, dismissive. “How unbelievably rude I would be dropping by your home if I didn’t have a gift? Psh, why, I wouldn’t be Kim Seokjin!”

And so he was.

Although, as far as you knew, you and famous-actor-turned-businessman Kim Seokjin were not close friends. Not close enough to be gifted with a house call and meat, anyway. He had been close to Jeon Jungkook back then. They often sought each other out when they both attended the same events. You were well aquatinted with Seokjin’s boisterous personality and his worldwide-known handsomeness. He was no different today, looking sculpted from jawline to broad shoulders to the regal way he stood. Glowing skin. Lightly permed, chestnut brown hair. Full lips, currently in a slight frown.

You bowed awkwardly. “S-Sorry, I just didn’t expect…”

“Ah, it’s alright.” He called you by name, although somewhat awkwardly, as if he was unsure if he should be more formal or not. “I won’t take too much of your time.”

You were still confused about Seokjin saying he had heard something from Taehyung. Actually, you didn’t even know how he got your address, although it wasn’t impossible. After all, Taehyung’s party invitations came in snail mail. It wasn’t that shocking. You probably might have been more annoyed if you were in the middle of something, but all you had been doing was getting ready to heat up some leftover takeout. You shuffled slightly, trying to block the view of the kitchen counter. Not necessarily embarrassed, per se, as your apartment was quite spacious and neat, but nothing here was comparable to Kim Seokjin’s lifestyle. It was kind of pointless to do so, though, since Seokjin was quite tall.

He seemed not to notice or care about the current state of your kitchen.

You stood there, dazed, clutching a box of high-grade beef.

He cleared his throat very firmly. “I came to invite you to the opening of my new establishment. Two weeks from now.” He rattled off the opening date. “But don’t come on opening day. It’ll be too crowded. Some day after. Let me know when and I’ll make special arrangements for you,” he added, stepping forward to tuck his business card into one of the folds of the gold bow. “Call the number on there. My assistant will connect me to you. I can link you with talented professionals if you are interested, which I’ll pay for, of course.”

“I– What – I’m sorry?” you sputtered. “Me?”

The handsome man exaggeratedly whipped his head from side to side. “Uh, do I see anyone else? Yes, of course, you,” he affirmed gruffly. “I came to invite you in person.”

“Well…” This must be how deer felt when confronted with headlights. “I’m not trying to be rude, but, uh… why?”

Seokjin looked offended. “Why? So you can meet people, silly.”

You struggled to connect the information given to you but he was not making it easy. “Meet people?”

“Yes,” he tutted. “You want to meet people, don’t you?”

Did you? You gave him a confused look.

“As Taehyung said,” Seokjin continued as if you completely understood. “People like you need to be surrounded by good people. And I happen to know a lot of them. We need people like you in this industry.”

You shook your head. “No, I don’t have any intention of–”

“Precisely.” He barreled on as if your front entryway was his own stage. “That is precisely why.”

Silence.

A bird cawed outside.

“H… Hah?”

Something in his expression softened. You almost forgot the weight of the wood box in your hands. You almost forgot the ridiculousness of you in your pajamas and Kim Seokjin in his luxury designer clothes. You almost forgot that you were in a completely different class, completely out of your element, completely ordinary.

He sighed and slipped his hands into his pants pockets, neatly tucking back his coat. “Look, I understand if you absolutely don’t want to have anything to do with me and the others. I don’t blame you. But,” he added, nodding lightly. “Your presence is missed. I do believe your interactions with those around you have done them a world of good. Maybe not everyone, yes, but you’re still spoken of, even now.”

“What…?” You blinked, doubtful. “Really?”

Seokjin chuckled, nodding. “You are good company.”

You thought all those times. All those events, dinners, parties. You mostly remembered Jungkook letting you be. Sure, you had light conversation with those around you. You couldn’t remember all their faces. They had been simple conversations, you thought, but they weren’t superficial once you really thought about it. You didn’t have basic industry chatter to talk about, so instead you had asked about aspirations. Asked why instead of what. Why acting? Why modeling? Why entertainment? Talks of the past, the present, the future. Pretty normal, you thought, but maybe…

Maybe it was more normal to ask what they were achieving.

Maybe it wasn’t so normal to ask who someone was.

“Anyway,” Seokjin coughed, breaking you out of your daze. “I wanted to give you ample time to think about it.”

“More than two weeks?” you mused.

He waved a hand. “Don’t know about you, but I need time to schedule and plan things. I need time to get myself ready to interact,” he muttered, half-joking and half-bitterly.

The meat was getting heavy. “Ah… What’s the dress code?”

“Aish, didn’t I tell you?” Seokjin tapped the side of his head. “Think about it. Then give me a call, and I’ll arrange for hair and makeup and fashion. No, don’t even bother asking about price. I’m inviting you to introduce you to people, so I am paying. End of discussion. And…”

A loaded pause.

Tick of the head and Seokjin very seriously asked you.

“If Jeon Jungkook is there, will you be fine?”

You answered honestly.

“I don’t think it will be an issue.”

He surveyed you for a long second and then nodded.

“Alright. Let me know when you’ve decided. Have a nice night. Don’t hesitate to contact me if I can help in some way. I’m not a stranger. By the way.” He added one last comment before leaving, spinning back around with a hand on your now open door and the other pointing to the side of the box. “The butcher shop I purchased this from is owned by a friend of mine. Make sure to send your family and friends his way once you taste how delicious and high-quality it is.”

You walked into the nightclub, oddly at peace among the blaring music and bustling bodies, stepping into a world of light and dark and pushing boundaries.

The past couple hours had been spent in a chair, fussed over by a detailed makeup artist and equally talented hairdresser. It had been more enjoyable than you originally thought. Perhaps it had been Seokjin’s excellent choices or their own expertise. They even both asked for your input and offered their advice. It felt like a joint effort. Even the fashion stylist who came later was as informative as they were considerate. You had found out that they had taken your name and your photos to have your fortune read and performed color analysis, respectively. That explained why Seokjin had asked you to take those plain photos. This had made color and style selection much simpler, as you naturally liked all the choices. You were no stranger to tight outfits, although this type of nightlife was not the kind of place you frequented. The stylist had brought a rack of choices, and just in case, a black slip dress looks good on everyone, and all of them were compelling in one way or another. All nightclub appropriate. You asked what to try first. The stylist had asked you how you were feeling.

Feeling?

The answer came out before you could stop it.

“Like revenge.”

You had laughed it off, and so had the staff, but you had seen the gleam in their eyes as if they, too, relished in being part of this so-called revenge.

Well, they were.

You weren’t perfectly sure if this was actual revenge yet, no. You were certainly dressed for it. Black lace corset. Tight lilac short skirt. Black patent leather jacket cropped so severely that it was nearly a bolero. Delicate black pumps with a thin ankle strap. The kind that was a bit fiddly to get on, but was worth it in the end. There was a power in this type of outfit, the kind that made you hold your head high and walk alone with confidence. Perhaps similar to a superhero costume. Just as impractical, too, heh. But that was okay. You weren’t here to prevent any crimes.

Just commit them.

Maybe.

In any case, you weren’t even sure what was going to happen tonight. Something had been planned for you, so you walked in and looked around, wondering if you should ask for help. The luxury was obvious from every corner of the building. From the furniture choices to the expansive bar to the crisp, pressed uniforms of the employees, every detail oozed sophistication. You admired the tastefulness of it, surprised that it didn’t feel gaudy or overdone. Must be the refined touch of Kim Seokjin. Even the clientele was jaw-dropping. You spared a moment to look from face to face, wondering if you should be less obvious about it, but then some paused and gazed back, unafraid, offering a simple smile.

They didn’t know you didn’t really belong, yet.

The sheep’s clothing worked, then.

You almost laughed at your own unspoken joke, and then, either compelled by fate, chance, or some mixture of both, your eyes rose and you saw him. It was definitely him. It was only the back of his head and black leather, but you knew it was him even before he turned around.

Jeon Jungkook.

You had seen him many times after the fact. However, this time was the first time that you came with weapons at your disposal, subtle as they were. For a moment, you wondered what to do. You stared as those brooding dark eyes widened in surprise. His hair was slicked back. Leather jacket, white tank, dark jeans, probably black boots. You couldn’t see it all from this angle. Still, you knew him too well. He wasn’t a suit-and-tie breed unless he was forced by the occasion. And, anyway.

You had mildly hoped that he would dress down these days, as it both suited him and reflected your preferred personal taste.

Egotistical, yes, and, now that you could see, true.

You broke the gaze first, seeing a waiter approach you. Bowed lightly, walking with him as he explained what was in store tonight, and yet your mind was still fixated on that shocked gaze from the far table up above. It did register that you were going up the stairs too, but somehow you knew that you weren’t going near that table.

You wondered if he regretted everything.

You wondered if he saw you differently now, dressed up and on a mission.

You wondered if Jeon Jungkook understood, truly, how deeply he had hurt you with his misdemeanors and you wondered if you, truly, understood how you didn’t help by always sweeping said misdemeanors under the metaphorical rug. You wondered if there was a chance for reconciliation or if this was all a big mistake. Maybe this was only another instance of two ships silently passing in the night. A pair of parallel lines that would never intersect. Or… would this become a pattern that could only be completed by intersection?

Whichever one it was, it was going to be evident tonight.

You raised your head, seeing a champagne bottle and another of expensive liquor.

“Are you ready?”

Your eyes shifted and you smiled up at the waitress.

“Yes, I am.”

She smiled and bowed her way out. Revenge. You savored the word. You had never thought of it that way, but then again that was because you always believed in the higher road. In enduring. That was how strength was formed. Vindication was unladylike and uncouth. Or so the story goes. You became aware that you were being watched.

I don’t belong here.

You twisted your body and stared directly into Jeon Jungkook’s eyes.

He pivoted away immediately. Unable to hold your gaze. Ashamed, probably. You pondered quietly. He brought you into this. All this around you – beauty, opulence, and the shadows between gold. Even without him, your connection to these people remained because his friends believed in you for some reason. You agreed, because maybe there was still something here for you.

But that was no reason to believe that you belonged here nor to act like it.

You realized, suddenly, that some part of you still thought you had to keep up the front.

“Excuse me.”

You looked up to a man who had the expression of a pleased kitty cat. His eyes disappeared from his smile. Radiant, cream skin. Long, bleached-blond hair that was half-tied back from his face but still skimmed along his shoulders. He wore a suit and tie, perfectly tailored, and was noticeably shorter than nearly everyone here. Then again, almost everyone here was a model, in high heels, or both.

“Did I interrupt?” he asked lightly, his intonation hinting at a Busan dialect.

“Oh, no,” you answered with a shake of your head. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me to space out like that. Please, sit down.”

The man laughed behind his hand before pulling out the chair and sitting down. He had elegant fingers that reminded you of a pianist. “It was cute,” he commented, somewhat shyly, before turning away and clearing his throat. He faced you once again, composed now, and bowed in greeting, stating his name.

You hurriedly did the same.

“I hope I’m not thinking too highly of myself by sitting here with you.”

You shook your head. “No, no. I want this to be an open invitation.” You poured him a glass of liquor to start off the night. He had a noticeable presence. Not a towering one, rather, as someone who knew himself well. Still, you could sense an introverted soul. “Don’t feel too pressured. I only want to ask a question.”

His eyebrows raised, curious. “A question?”

You smiled. “Yes. And I want you to promise to answer honestly.”

His lips upturned thoughtfully. There was something playful about his expressions. Very cute. Perhaps unintentional. “A promise right away to a stranger?”

You allowed yourself a little mischief. “Do I look like I could hurt anyone?”

The man across the table caught the bait and toyed with it. An expert. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean It wouldn’t be pleasant.” He smiled again, with that same kitty cat contentment, and nodded. “Okay, I’m ready to tell the truth. You only get one chance. Use it well.” His tone teased, but his voice was sincere.

The question.

You stared into a stranger’s eyes and asked.

“What is the most important lesson in your life you’ve learned so far?”

i hear... | ... the whispers... | ... in your eyes.

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook smut

459 notes · View notes

perictione00 · 11 months

Text

She's a Man-eater

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x reader

Warnings: MDNI, sub! gojo satoru, dom! reader, smut, degradation, heavy edging and overstimulation, cock stepping, choking, age difference(7-years, reader is older), oral sex, sounding, riding, unprotected sex.

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

"Hngh...please...I need you", his desperation was so satisfying. He looked so beautiful crawling towards you, naked, with a collar on his neck with your name engraved on it.

"But we had a deal, no? You cum five times and I'll treat you", you coo. Breaking someone's body has become your new favorite hobby. To get them so high that normal never works for them. That they come crawling back to you.

"Haah...ngh...mmf...I can't anymore, please." You understand now why men like to oppress women. Power is a fucking drug, and controlling someone stimulates it.

"Then I'm afraid I can't help you, Satoru", you said, sounding disappointed, causing him to start stroking his already twitching cock. With his head thrown back, sweat beads covered his flushed face as he continued jerking himself off, moaning wildly, until he came for the fifth time in the same night.

What a sight. So strong yet so fragile—such a complaint one. Easy to mold and easy to manipulate. Watery blue eyes stared at you with hope. He was such a good pet. He deserved a reward for his hard work. So you took off your very wet panties and threw them to the other side of the room.

"Good boy, now go fetch."

Without wasting a second, Satoru fetched your panties on all fours. Sniffing it, he lapped on it and drooled at your taste. You watched him as he buried his face in your panties and continued groaning loudly. His hips bucked up instinctively, fucking into nothingness to seek any sort of friction to calm his now-hardening dick.

"More...I want more", Satoru begged as he moved towards your lap.

"Yeah? Tell me, will you do anything for me?", you questioned affectionately as you slid your hands and ruffled his disheveled hair.

"Ya...yes, anything. I can d-do any and everything for you", he answered, sounding breathless.

Yanking him back by the hair, you opened your legs and forced his face into your pussy. While he sucked on your clit, you noticed how he kept glancing at your moaning form. It was obvious that he wanted to feel validated by pleasing you. The poor thing was in love with you; the least you could do was grind on his face and use him. So you used his nose to gain some roughness and pulled on his hair as his tongue slurped on your wetness. Getting suffocated by your thighs drove Satoru to the brink, and his sensitive cock leaked for the sixth time. But he was so drunk on you. So much so that he couldn't stop and kept fucking your hole till you came.

"If you do it right, I'll reward you with a truffle cake", you declared to a ten-year-old who was being more annoying than usual. Gojo Satoru was the new big thing in the Jujutsu world, and although he was just a child, he was already much better than most of the second-grade sorcerers. And since he was destined to be the strongest, a majority of his time was consumed in practicing, and that too with well-versed sorcerers like yourself.

"Liar. You said that the last time too and didn't bring me any", the lil guy yelled as he continued pouting.

"That was because you literally announced it to the whole house. You think anyone here would lemme feed you, a child, a whole cake?", you retorted, closing the distance between you.

"I'm not a child. I defeated two of your classmates, remember", he scoffed.

"God, I don't have time for this. Listen, Satoru, if you don't do this, forget the cake; I'm never bringing anything for you, and then you can have a great time practicing with Daddy too", you were sure this threat was enough to keep him in check. It was your favorite weapon against him. And when you saw his frowning form turning back to practice, you knew it had hit the right mark.

Gojo had developed a sweet tooth early on because of your constant rewards after practice sessions. It was easier. Satoru already knew well that he was stronger than an average person; hence, with all his sass, he avoided training, even with you. If it was up to him, he would only play with you. So you introduced him to the world of sweets, and the rest is history. Growing up with Satoru, you knew your ways with him. To you, rather than a little brother that you never asked for, he was more like an asset who was the key to your goal. It worked out well. He became the ace up your sleeve, and you became his favorite company.

Coming from a non-sorcerer family, at the age of 6, you immediately piqued the interests of many families with your unexpectedly strong cursed technique, one of them being the Gojo clan. Initially, people thought it was for the sake of marrying you off to someone within the clan, but it surprised everyone when the head of the clan announced his goal of sponsoring your education until you were an adult. What seemed like a random play turned out to be a well-thought-out scheme to have stronger allies. For several hundred years, no one in the Gojo family had inherited both the six eyes and the limitless techniques, portraying the clan as weaker among the Big three families, so it was better to have an active margin to keep the center intact. That was the reason why you grew up learning from the best of the best and became a first-grade sorcerer by the age of 14. Which was why you ended up training the future of the clan. Or maybe the real deal was that the insolent brat wouldn't practice with anyone other than you.

Before his birth, you were the apple of everyone's eye, including all the servants and his father. It all changed, though—after his birth, that is. From the moment Gojo Satoru was born, his mere existence was celebrated; he was treated like a king, but you, on the other hand, were neglected. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. You were a child. With all the attention that you desperately craved, snatched away so suddenly, you couldn't help but feel jealous and envy the blue-eyed devil who had hypnotized every sane adult in the clan. You were there first, then why were you not as loved as he was? He was such a burden, a crybaby who couldn't fend for himself and had to be under surveillance at all times. You were forced to be by his side to keep track of his needs, which made you more hostile towards him. Fortunately, you warmed up to him as time went on. The hostility melted into care as you looked after the little demon who was always following you, crawling on all fours, when he always cried in your absence, and when instead of gibberish, his first words turned out to be your name.

The jujutsu world is cruel, and it's worse if you're a woman. The pathetic mentality of a few old geezers was enough to drive out women from this field. With the misconduct of power, the status of women was intentionally devalued through a sequence of meaningless regulations. For something so basic, women had to prove themselves worth it in order to be given the same treatment and respect as any other man. Women were associated with childrearing and bearing. And if they somehow turned out to be more than what was expected of them, the scope of their development is reduced. You learned it a little too late.

"Don't be greedy now. Grade 1 is as far as you go. I'm sure the clan backing you up wouldn't like that either. You're 15, right? A looker that's for sure. Ripe age. About time you start getting marriage offers, no?"

"If only you didn't have a mouth on you. Well, I'm sure I can fuck it out of you."

"Special grade!? Even if all of us in the room used you, there's no chance you're ever getting there."

"Give up on that impossible dream of yours. Isn't it too much for you to carry on as a grade 1 anyways?"

"Don't make me laugh."

"All I see is a hole inviting me to fuck. Come on, lemme help you discover all you're good for."

"Grade 1? Who did you fuck to get there? The clan head? Are the rumors true? I've heard he has a thing for young girls. I can see why he would give in to you, though."

That's how it was and will always be. In a world dominated by men, you will never be able to achieve what your heart longs for. You will never be the strongest. You will have to act according to their will and listen to the crap that comes out of their mouths. It was not fair. You were dragged into this world without consent, and now that you finally accept reality and try to be something more, they tell you that it was never possible. Hypocrites. You were not a slave. If you were being objectified by a bunch of old men, you might as well use them to get what you want. You can give them a sense of control and suck them dry of their powers. Use them until they serve your desires, and throw them away the moment you're done. It is okay if you can't be the strongest; you can always be with the strongest.

Gojo Satoru was the strongest sorcerer. He could have anything he wished for, yet he couldn't have you. On his 7th birthday, he declared in front of all the maids that he'd marry you and have about a hundred kids with you. His confession was met with a few chuckles and pity, but he was sure of his resolve. On the same day, you skipped practice sessions to meet with some dirt from your class and wished him a happy birthday minutes before his birthday ended. Let's just say that an angry Satoru melted from your apology, which consisted of a customized Digimon watch, his favorite pastries, and a peck to his cheek.

To him, you were the prettiest girl. And age was just a number. He just needed to grow up faster and be taller to be with you. You were the only one who treated him like a normal human. And the only one who genuinely wished the best for him and cared for him without any malicious or hidden intention. However, nothing had prepared him for your exit from the household on your eighteenth birthday. He was dumbfounded when you told him the same. He remembers crying and begging you to stay with him—not that it changed your decision, but you did promise to meet him every week, which was not enough for him.

Time went by, and Gojo Satoru realized that he wanted you all for himself. You were famous not only for your capabilities and beauty but also for your infamous relationships. He recalls how one of the Zenin clan men fell head over heels for you and took his own life because he couldn't have you. He also recalls how a senior representative of the Kamo clan went crazy after you left him and the stories of countless men who were doomed to the same fate. You were magical, and those low lives weren't your equals. Of course, you wouldn't settle for them; you were way too good for them. That's why he wants to become strong and be of any worth to you.

You came back to the house once, after 5 years, when you were accused of assassinating a higher-up, and somehow, after just two hours in his father's room, you were announced to be not guilty a day later. On that very day, you hugged him for the first time while comforting him about the incident with the sorcerer killer as he smelled his father's cologne on you. If he wasn't bound by relationships, he was sure that he would have killed his own father in a heartbeat.

Later that year, he confessed his love for you on your 23rd birthday, and you shot him down instantly. Calling him a child and whatnot. He wasn't immature; he was just a bit overly enthusiastic but not impulsive. Maybe it was just about his age. That's what he told himself until you rejected him again and again and again. For the first time, he saw the distance between you both. How you were climbing up the status ladder in the Jujutsu hierarchy and how the number of your lovers was increasing with every passing month. Something snapped inside him as realization hit him, and at the young age of 16, he lost his virginity to a housemaid his age.

You had successfully infiltrated all the major clans except for the Gojo clan. You were not going to infiltrate that clan; you had decided to own it. Although latent, your influence was more than a lot of high-ups combined. But of course you wouldn't rub it on everyone's faces; you didn't need to hurt their egos to feel your worth anymore. You just needed to act submissive and poised; that would do the trick. Nobody needed to know that all the cards were in your favor and that you were the real puppeteer.

When it came to the Gojo clan, you heard here and there that your little prince had learned to fuck around. It was about time he was tamed. So on his 19th birthday, you rewarded him with a gift of a lifetime.

"No...shit... please-aahh...it won't fit, please", Satoru mumbled as tears streamed down his flushed face.

"It will. You will make it fit for me, right?", you whispered and resumed kissing him down his neck, stopping only to abuse his hard nipples. He was a moaning mess, trembling with every movement, cringing at the sharp but pleasurable pain as you continued inserting a sounding rod in his penis.

You stood up to admire your artwork once you were done. No man has ever looked so beautiful. Gojo Satoru was kneeling in front of you, twitching like an insect, crying, and losing himself to you. He was so submissive, so perfect. You were going to take your sweet time devouring him.

You dragged your foot over to his cock and asked him, "What do you say, Satoru? Should I step on it?"

He was barely able to make a coherent sentence as you toyed with his cock while the pressure of the inserted rod edged him to the highest degree. Just when he thought it couldn't get any better, you took off your panties and stuffed them in his mouth. You were left with nothing but your bra; however, you unhooked them the moment an idea popped up in your mind. Tying them around Satoru's neck, you pulled on em, making him choke. Suddenly, he looked like every man who had wronged you, underestimated you, and molested you. He looked heavenly as he struggled to breathe, and Gojo would be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy life slipping out of him just a bit. When he was expecting you to finally take the rod out, you laid him down and positioned yourself on his dick.

You teased yourself with the cold metal end of the rod and slowly sank down Satoru's length. You looked down only to see him blabbering and moaning uncontrollably. His teary blue eyes and instant desperation to rut into you were painted all over his face. He tried thrusting into you, only to feel overwhelmed by the rod. You started bouncing on his cock and playing with your nipples. It would be an understatement to say that Satoru was hypnotized by you. He was enamoured by you. In this moment, you looked like an absolute goddess, and he was ready to lose himself in you. Your walls were gripping onto his length so tightly that he felt lightheaded. You continued grinding on his cock as you reached your orgasm. Getting off immediately to take his cock in your mouth and tease him a bit more.

"Are you my whore, Satoru?", you asked as you squeezed his balls. Had you broken him? Because it looked like he was too far gone. Did he stop working?

"Yes, I'm ya-your wh...whore".

You smirked. It was done. It's easy to break them when they're young, just like they broke you. You bobbed your head on his dick, sucking on his prominent veins and slurping some globs of his semen. Then, all of a sudden, you harshly took out the sounding rod, and with that, Satoru reached his orgasm with a high-pitched moan. But you didn't stop, not yet. You continued sucking on his member, taking in all of his jizz. Without a second thought, you sealed the deal as you spat his cum into his mouth and kissed him deeply. He was yours now, and so was his clan.

"I love you."

As if you didn't know that already. It's okay, though you'll entertain him.

"Yeah, let's do it again. This time, I'll let you breed me."

Part 2

626 notes · View notes

heartofbusan · 28 days

Note

While we're theorizing about AYS, may I leave this one with you?

THEORY: Before the shoot began, JM and JK had a chat about how they were going to approach it as entertainers. One of the items they agreed upon was that JM would film 'house tours' of wherever they stay the night and JK would film the food insert shots. We see JM film a trour of their camping tiny house, the air b&b in CT and the house in Jeju. The only time he films the food is at the omakase but honestly, what else was he supposed to do there? Lol. JK was very diligent in getting 'dynamic' food coverage everywhere.

They each had their own little responsibility and I'm just so endeared. Who knows if we'll ever find out the answer but I think it's cute.

If anyone isn't following along with @curio-queries AYS production breakdowns, please do so. They are so insightful!

Thank you for this ask 😙 I feel like it's part of a longer conversation about how AYS came to exist, which I'd love to have. We might get some more insight into the 'why and how' of it after all the episodes and behinds have aired. But because theorizing is part and parcel of being ARMY, I say: why wait, let's go!

Early in episode 3, there's this one off-hand comment JK makes to Tae about getting out the 'company card' to pay for their meal in Jeju. It was relatable as most of us have at some point gone to lunch or dinner on 'the boss's dime'. It also served as a reminder that the expenses of this trip are literally billed as 'work' for them. And as they took it upon themselves to embark on this show, task assignment comes with the territory. So yes, it makes sense for them to have agreed as to their part of 'the coverage' during pre-production. The coverage being the type of shots they were willing and able to film themselves. And mind you, them filming parts of it is not only another checkmark on the overall shotlist; a way for production to get close up's of their faces and inserts of their meals, but also a way to emotionally seat the audience inside their experiences. Seeing it all through their eyes. So it was a great production choice as well as a narrative one to have them film with the go-pro's.

I think that's part of why it's so funny to them. They literally arranged a paid vacation for themselves, lmao. That omakase, they needed those shots as receipts to justify that (surely extremely expensive) meal. Do we think Taehyung would have had his meal paid for by Jimin, or could they have written it off as a 'guest star' expense? 🤔

Another thing that filming with the go-pro's does is, literally, hand jikook the reigns of what they're willing to film/show.

A much discussed example is the morning scene inside the CT house. JK wakes up, turns on the camera in the hallway outside Jimin’s door, entering, the scene cutting to the camera inside, etc. There are scores of decisions that took place prior to that scene. The editing of it is doing nothing to make the timeline of events any clearer. But all those cameras would have had to be turned on prior to them 'waking up' in the reality of the show. Parsing all of those choices, including when crew is back inside the house once morning comes, will have to wait for another day (that is , if anyone even cares to know, lol).

The point I'm getting at is that while traveling, JK and JM have more control over what we're being shown than we even realize. As you stated in your blog, ITS did this a lot.

ITS would end right up until the tannies would have had to leave a place. Never showing the travel back, probably because emotionally, you want the audience to stay with the characters inside the happy bubble of the experience, not the slog of traveling home. Especially because there is no longer a story to work towards.

My question to you, do you think they 'woke up' together prior to turning on the cameras and putting on the microphones? Who turns off the cams and mics at night before they actually sleep?

I think you know as well as I do that we shouldn't forget that AYS is a story we're being shown. There is a production that has to takes place in order to make it, and there are two professionals who are working to show us these moments. But more importantly, there are two human beings who are also having 'off-camera' moments who decide what they're willing to include in this show.

Sometimes, the lines get blurred, but the intentionality of this show and the kind of relationship they're inviting us to observe is monumental, in my opinion.

#jikook #kookmin #production breakdowns #are you sure production breakdowns

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darklinaforever · 9 months

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When people try to make it seem like the Marauders and Severus relationship was a shared rivalry instead of outright harassment. They were 4 to 1 ! That's not à rivality !

Also, I'm tired of people saying things like :

"Yes, James and his friends harassed Severus, that's not good. But it says in the text that Severus had a disproportionate hatred for James, and cast spells on him too."

Yes. So what ? It's basically victim blaming. As if the fact that Severus defends himself wasn't normal ?! As if hating James who bullied him from the moment he met him, just for his simple existence wasn't normal ?!

I would like to understand what is going on in people's heads when they say sentences like that.

Severus scorning James is justified. Severus attacking James back is fucking justified, especially when the harassment is daily !

What is this ridiculous logic ? "Yes, James bullied Severus, but Severus wasn't any better because he hated him and retaliated."

WHAT ?!

People speaking like that should never have been harassed. It's like those hating Severus / finding it unforgivable that Severus called Lily a mudblood after being publicly humiliated by James.

Translation ; suspended in the air upside down, underwear revealed and soap in his mouth...

I think your mood, your temperament, and your control over yourself and your words would take a hit too !

I was the victim of harassment almost throughout my schooling. From my first year of kindergarten until my second year of high school ! Do you think I loved my harassers ? Do you think that after a while I didn't fight back ? Do you think that after being publicly humiliated / harassed I didn't insult even innocent people ? (And again, Lily smiled seeing her so-called friend go through this, so for me the insult was deserved, I have no regrets in saying that...) But wake up the fuc ! Go live in the real world !

There is no excuse for what James put Severus through and there never will be ! Damn, he was doing it for fun ! Pure and simple !

Also, I'm tired of seeing this bullshit like if Harry had been a girl, Severus would have had inappropriate attitudes towards him... That it would even have gone completely like in the film Swenney Todd ! But what ?! And again, I saw a very intelligent film-loving woman, or so I thought, spouting this bullshit ! FOR WHAT ?! Where does this shit come from ?! Ginny is described as looking a lot like Lily from what I remember and Severus never went after her ?!

I've seen people like Snape say this types of shit and argue that it apparently made him complex !

Why is a man grieving his former best friend trying to be better in honor of her memory considered an obsession ? Why do people say Snape was obsessed with Lily, rather than James who literally pursued her throughout school and even blackmailed her into trying to date her, and never taking no for an answer ?! Why ?!

And why is Severus' patronus taking the same form as Lily's seen as proof of obsession ?! Didn't Thnks do the same thing for Lupin ?! I don't remember anyone seeing this as obsession on his part !

In fact, when a patronus changes depending on the author, for the person we love, it is specifically to match them, and is proof of eternal love.

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sillyyuserr · 1 month

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Chapter 117 analysis (WE’RE SO BACK) obviously spoilers for chapter 117 and chapter 114

i cooked with this one trust

Everyones looking for them yadayadayada terukane

Yk im pretty sure this is meant to be lore heavy but LOOK AT THEM

I don’t know how to word this correctly but since chapter 115/116 between akane and teru there seems to have been something that happened in which they stopped being freaky?? 😭 like ykwim hold on

in chapter 114 this happened

completely ruined almost everything they had, but in the span of a few days, shit still going on, they havent had their deserved break yet like they got on chapter 96-97 and somehow in the midst of all this teru’s forgiven(?) him and just moved on?? Really not sure but based on what we know ab the red house the next chapter may answer some of our questions

Also, this is so little i didn’t see it the first time reading but teru goes to the drink machine thing to get one and mixes like 4 of the sodas,

takes one sip decides its shit and switches with akane’s already half drunken out of tea. Indirect kiss guys wait

Also this is JUST like the date they all went on when aoi was gone. Again, aoi is gone here too 😭 my girl getting left out of everything is acc crazy

She comes in later tho and finally gets caught up for the first time in forever MAN aidairo must hate her😭

But also

We find out mitsuba and kou are going there TOO so for the first time i think ever we have the whole gang in one spot 🤥 alot of firsts this chapter smh

ALSO an honorable mention to this i saved best for last

Sir stay away from my children

ok but fr i have no fucking clue what to say ab this cus this is either ‘teehee im right ur wrong!!~~♡’ type shit which he does alot, or genuinely like what we all think it is, which considering outside context may, in fact make it make sense trust let me explain

teru says shit like this ALL THE TIME its kind of his ACTUAL personality aside from his fake shit, like the way he is only around akane and sometimes kou (at least what we’re shown) so you’d think he’s used to this, but his initial reaction is more of a ‘um. what.’

ALSO— backround MATTERS, the backround in this one, is pure black, which is only shown during stuff LIKE THIS (important stuff) example:

Black background either means its dark, or its something important, something meant to be remembered, or something like that (probably)

and that panel had a BLACK BACKROUND

Why is this important you may be asking, it has a black backround— so it must be, right? If this was a silly little ‘teehee you can’t do this im better than youuu!!!~~♡’ then it probably wouldnt even have a half panel it’d be another one of the mini panels, but it not only had a whole panel for just this, a black background ;blocking LITERALLY EVERYTHING OUT ASIDE FROM THIS AND WHAT HE’S SAID, but also, pay attention the contents of what he said.

(a different translation, this one is easier to read)

‘you are not in any position to oppose me, are you, aoi? ♡’ could mean, A LOT OF THINGS so i’ll put them in a bulletin here because any of them make for an interesting path we may be taking on ‘this’ reality😭😓

Number 1: he could be impliying, and or reminding akane, that he’s still engaged to aoi, and that if akane still thinks they shouldnt change this reality, he should reconsider, CONSIDERING he is engaged to aoi, as aforementioned. (Most likely this one)

Number 2: the power dynamic, yes akane is a school mystery with the ability to control time itself but also, teru is an exorcist, a skilled one at that— and could probably easily overpower akane in a 1v1 (lowk hyped to see this happen pls let them fight) teru may be poking fun, or reminding akane, that teru is in fact powerful, more than he seems to keep fresh on his mind — them having SO MUCH to do

Number 3: maybe instead he just felt like teasing akane and i wasted time+space for nothing and was looking way too into it (this is supposed to be the terukane option😪)

Never once has he used this before??? Obviously you cant talk in symbols but the heart kind of implies the user of this symbol is talking in a playful/slightly flirtatious tone, hence, the reaction:

Okay okay point is i think teru is still madly in love with him

WAAAHHHH just look at him pooks who else does he do this with smhh 😓 NO ONE

which i think may be PARTIALLY true but also not entirely because mayb im just a tweaker

Me when i when i ehen you whrn you when

This may make no sense at all, or alot of sense man idk its 3:12am i go back to school in like 2 weeks i am not ready for sophomore year gn

terukane will be real one day trust, also i have a twitter i post on sometimes @/silly_evvvie <3

#terukane #real #minamoto teru #aoi akane #tbhk #analysis #tbhk chapter 117

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hugsandchaos · 4 months

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Follow-up to Halfa Dash AU

Believe it or not, Danny starts to get jealous of Dash. In his eyes, Dash got everything while he got little to nothing. Everyone in town knows Dash’s “secret” and work to hide him from the GIW or prying eyes. Valerie and the Fentons work together with him, and Vlad learned to let go of his anger a long time ago and isn’t in the picture.

When Danny helped in his universe, he was called a menace for accidentally causing property damage in ghost fights, half of which is caused by the other ghost attacking him and the other half is Danny being thrown at buildings or the ground, so he literally has no control over it! Even when he tried! He still tried to help the best he could, but it was never enough for the town.

“I gave all I could for them, and then some, but what did I get? Hunted! Torn open! I didn’t expect anything, not even a thank you!”

When Dash does it, he’s considered a hero, gets pats on the back, that kind of stuff. His fire core in still underdeveloped, but he warms up the area when he’s in ghost form. People love that, unless people are already hot and sweating, but no one lashes out. Danny’s ice core lowers the room temperature, and sometimes his body temperature. No one wants to hold hands that are cold.

As you can tell, Danny is pissed about this. He’s happy Dash doesn’t have to deal with what he did, but he’s still pissed.

As for Sam and Tucker, I have two ideas.

They went along with him to the alternate universe, where none of them existed, and all live and work together to get by and help each other out. There was no way they were leaving him alone.

The alternate Sam and Tucker like Dash. They think he’s a pretty chill guy, and they don’t understand why Danny keeps avoiding him or flinching. A part of Danny feels betrayed by this, even though he knows they’re not the Sam and Tucker he knew.

I think the last straw for Danny would either be Vlad or Lancer.

When Vlad comes into the picture, he’s not just… well, not a fruit loop, but he helps Dash! He helps him with his ghost powers, he teaches him, and Jack, and Maddie! He gives tips and advice on what to expect in the future and how to deal with it, and gives him his number incase he needs him!

Danny’s anger reaches a whole new peak.

If it’s Lancer, then it’s when he figures out that Danny has no parents and is living on his own. When he talks to Danny about this after school, he blows up at him. He goes on a rant about how Lancer thinks that he knows what’s best for him when he doesn’t know the full story. He lets it slip that he’s from another universe and had really bad experiences that made it hard for him to trust people and asks how he can be sure this isn’t a trap of some kind.

Eyes are glowing green, the room is freezing, and Danny’s cussing while trying not to have a mental breakdown and failing. He doesn’t want to be put into any adoption or foster care, especially with some strangers, and he’s determined to not let that happen. If anyone, he’d allow Frostbite to adopt him.

Surprisingly, this Frostbite and the one he first met are very similar and recognize him. It’s as if they’re actually the same! Like the Ghost Zone didn’t change, or at least, the Far Frozen didn’t.

Or maybe I can add the Nightingale Family from the PenPal AU! They’d be the one able to adopt him because he meets them all over again, and they’re some of the few people who are still the same. He knows he can trust them, so when they offer adoption, his answer is yes and a big hug.

I think that eventually, he and Dash might have a rivalry-type friendship. Ish. Danny’s constantly pushing Dash to get better with his skills. Dash likes to challenge him to a sparring match or race. Or maybe it’s like this closer to the start, but Danny’s genuinely mad under the mask. He’ll start to appreciate this Dash sooner or later.

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thewulf · 2 years

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That's a Kill Part 2 || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Y/N Kazansky. The Admiral's daughter. You always had to prove yourself to the boys. The good old boys. You never thought much of any of them, knowing you were better than them. That was until you were called back to Top Gun. You meet Lieutenant Jake "Hangman" Seresin falling for him quickly. You get selected for the infamous mission, leaving Jake terribly worried.

A/N: Longest one yet! I really enjoyed writing this one, thanks to Anon who requested! This has way less Hangman, I’m so sorry. More of an Admiral’s daughter part. Because of this I plan on doing a Part 3 to wrap it all up. This dives into the mission itself, don’t get me wrong it has cute Jake parts, just less of them. Also, apologies to Rooster… you stole his thunder. I really dislike simply rewriting parts of an already told story, but it just made sense for the plot of Part 3. That being said, the mission portion of this fic are just rewrites of what’s already in TGM changing which characters go through what. So, I didn’t do a lot of describing scenes during the actual mission. I really wanted this to focus more on the characters not the mission. There will be a Part 3 that’ll wrap everything up, meeting Ice and lots of fluff planned

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Y/N, Iceman x Daughter!Reader, Maverick X PlantonicFemale!Reader

Word Count: 9,200+

Part 3

The Dagger Squad officially wrapped up training that Monday afternoon with an all-out battle between you and Mav. You were sure you were going to get the shot on him this time. You had him locked but he did some Maverick piloting shit not even you have seen from him. You lost your lock on him, you were distracted as he locked onto you, “That’s a kill, Kazansky.”

“Fuck.” You tore your mask off slowing your jet down. Wanting to slam your fists down onto the control panel but deciding against it knowing that it could send your jet out of control.

You landed before Mav. He was showboating off in the air. Typical Mav shit. You threw your helmet off leaving it behind in the cockpit. Frustrated beyond belief. You had your eyes locked on Hondo, rather pissed off at yourself for letting Maverick get the better of you again.

You blew past Bradley, nearly knocking him off balance on your quest to get the damn pushups over. So many pushups.

“Lava you alright there?” You heard Bradley ask from behind you. You were so in your own head about the kill shot you almost didn’t hear him.

You spun around on your boots seeing Rooster looking at you with a cockeye, “Yeah, I’m good.” You stuck your thumbs up like a toddler who had just been caught doing something.

“You just ran me over.” He deadpanned, not satisfied with your answer.

You sighed, “Just a little pissed off Rooster. I was this close to finally getting Mav.” You pinched your fingers together, “Locked on and all. But he literally just stopped midair, did a flip or something and locked on to me.” You balled your fists up.

Rooster laughed seeing your unmitigated frustration walking closer to you, “Well damn, I missed quite the show.”

You could feel your hands beginning to tremble. Meaning that the adrenaline that was coursing through your veins was beginning to wear off. You cursed yourself and now Rooster because these pushups were going to be 20 times harder with dead arms, “Really quite the show.” You grumbled beginning your walk over to Hondo again.

This time he stopped you, grabbing your arm, “Yes, Rooster?” You stopped turning back to him.

“What’s the matter Kazansky?”

“Why does something have to be the matter? Why can’t I just have an off day?” You fired back at him, surprising even yourself. Way too aggressive for you. Your bad mood was stemming from this mission. You were terribly nervous, too nervous for your own good. Maverick had successfully broken into your mind, freaking you the hell out. Him shooting you down for the final time this afternoon really sent your thoughts into a whirlwind. Life or death. You really didn’t want to die. You finally felt like you were really starting to get good at all of this, finally finding your groove.

“Woah, Y/N. Relax.” He stood there with his hands crossed against his chest observing you. He noticed your shaking hands and your standoffish demeanor. However, Rooster telling you to relax was doing the exact opposite of what he intended. Indeed not very relaxed. You were stressed, more stressed than you’ve ever been tenfold. You thought you knew how to cope but your mind was starting to falter. At the worst possible moment too.

Mav popped around Bradley curiously looking at the duo, “Something wrong?” His lips parted slightly waiting for one of you to speak. The situation didn’t look great from Pete’s standpoint. He landed his jet with the intention of giving you a little shit about having to do the pushups. He stated walking over seeing you not doing pushups but looking rather agitated standing in front of Rooster. Rooster looked concerned as he eyed you up and down.

“Nothing’s wrong.” You snapped at him this time. Mav took the teeniest step backwards surprised by your response. He had quite literally known you his entire life, never once seeing you snap the way you just did. He turned to Rooster sending him off with his eyes.

He placed an arm around your shoulder pulling him into you, “What’s up kid?” He asked after Rooster was out of ear shot. You let the breath of air out that you were unknowingly holding in.

“You shot me down again.” You mumbled looking to the ground. Mav decided to wave Hondo off this time letting you skip your pushups for whatever conversation was about to go down.

“Just like the other thousand times, Kazansky. What’s the big deal?” He chuckled releasing you from the shoulder hold he had you in. You felt so vulnerable under Pete’s gaze as he turned to study you. He was somebody you had grown up around, who taught you everything you knew, yet you felt incredibly nervous about it all. You felt small as he inspected you, so small.

“I had you though!” You threw your head back reliving your failure, “I had a kill, and I still didn’t get it.”

Maverick frowned, guiding you out of the hangar. You weren’t sure where the two of you were off to, but you let him lead you, “Kazansky.” He sighed as he took a seat on the outside of the hangar facing the water. He patted the dirt he was sitting next to signaling for you to join, which you did, “Talk to me kid.”

You leaned your head against the cold metal steel of the building. The cold feeling euphoric against your sweating head, “You don’t get a second chance out there Mav.”

He nodded, “I’m aware.”

You wanted to squeeze him, he wasn’t getting the turmoil you had put yourself into, “If I can’t beat you, what makes you think I’m good enough for this Pete.” You buried your head into your heads feeling your frustration building up.

“What we aren’t going to do is that.” He grabbed your wrist gently attempting to get you to look back up at him, “Remember, I need you all here Kazansky. Every bit of you.”

“I’m trying.” You looked to him, “But all I hear in my head is you repeating, ‘this is life or death’”.

“It is.” He spoke harshly. Your brain wanted to start spiraling again but he continued, “And let me tell you something Y/N. You are the only one who has completed the course successfully. You are the only one here who has done that so far. You. Just you. You are the only pilot here who has even gotten close to shooting me down. You. Just you. And you are the only God damn pilot that made me think you’d get me. You Y/N. Just you.” He pointed his finger to you, speaking right from his heart. You were sure you were going to burst out into tears hearing this from him, “Do you hear me Kazansky?” He asked.

You nodded your head up and down, “Yes sir.” You spoke with more confidence than you had all afternoon. You were honored that he said such kind things to you. But you knew he wasn’t lying or joking around in any way. He really did think those things of you.

“Y/N.” He turned his whole body to face you, “I’m going back to make my final decision with Cyclone and Warlock.” He paused waiting for you to look him in the eyes, “Can you do this Y/N?”

You had to. You were the best. You couldn’t let his words send you into such a panic. You wanted to do this. You needed to do this, “Yes Pete. I can do this.”

He nodded after abruptly standing offering his hands to pull you up. Once you were both standing he place both his hands on your shoulders, “I know you can do this Y/N. I need you to know you can.”

His confidence in you was all consuming. It lit that fire beneath your ass that was burning so brightly when you showed up. Your flame kept getting smaller and smaller after every time you’ve been struck down. Leave it to Maverick to find it again for you, “I can do this Pete.” You spoke with such confidence it drew Mav into his signature grin.

“Good. Now go get changed. I’m not saying you’re in but…” He winked at you before heading off to the war room.

You slowly made your way back to the locker room, taking your time to change. What you didn’t expect to see when you left the locker room was the blonde haired pilot that made your heart do questionable things. You about lost your mind when he smiled at you, waiting for you.

The two of you decided you wanted to take things slow, ultra-slow. Too slow in your opinion. It was more of Jake’s idea with you going along with it, not wanting to screw whatever this was up before it started. He took you to a nice dinner on Saturday. You got to put on a nice dress and wear your hair down for him, a very rare occurrence. He showered you in sweet compliments and little touches throughout the night. He stopped at your doorstep giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead. When you whined and asked him to actually kiss you he just said, “I will darling, I promise I will.” Pulling you into a hug instead. You attempted to pout your way into a kiss just making him laugh instead.

That Dagger Squad met at the Hard Deck that Sunday for one last get together negating any plans you and Jake were going to make. The two of you had to play it cool, painfully cool. You actively had to remember not to look at him smiling. Phoenix caught you looking over at him a few times shaking her head at you. The two of you made sure you were the last to leave. Getting to chat for a few before you needed to part. He again kissed you on the forehead. You decided not to fight him this time knowing Jake would do what Jake wanted to.

You were sure the tension between you and Jake on top of all the pressure from the mission was what caused you to almost break earlier. You couldn’t understand why Jake wouldn’t kiss you especially after hearing all the stories about his previous escapades. You knew it wasn’t you. He wanted to be around you, to be close to you. He put his hands on you whenever he could. On the car ride to dinner, he placed his hand on your thigh. He grabbed for your hand when you walked in making sure to constantly touch you throughout dinner. Even when he refused to come inside he was still holding onto you.

You had only confessed your feelings two days prior, yet he was driving you crazy already. These feelings were all so new and fresh for you. You finally understood what those girls were going through in college, this man was making you feral.

“Where’ve you been?” He asked softly reaching for your hand. You looked around making sure nobody could see before taking it softly. You ran your thumb over his knuckles as you studied his hand. You didn’t notice the chills that went up his arm from your touch.

“Talking with Mav.” You turned your face looking up to his. His eyes gave him away. They looked like they didn’t quite believe what you were saying. Something about the way he was squinting at you gave him away this time. You knew you were going to have to understand his eyes if you wanted to understand Jake.

“All good?” He asked as he mimicked your actions, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles this time.

“Mhmm.” You wanted to lean into him, just melt into him. But you also didn’t want to let anybody know just yet, it was all too new.

He just watched you as you found his hand fascinating. He let you divulge as much or as little information as you wanted. He found you so effortlessly beautiful. With your hair slicked back and in full military uniform you just looked so profoundly stunning to him. He wanted to cup your face getting you to look to him, but he couldn’t, not in these hallways. He knew he really shouldn’t be holding your hand either. He just couldn’t resist when he saw you come out of the locker rooms. You looked like you were battling with something in your head before your eyes landed on his. Your reaction to seeing him nearly sent him spiraling. Your face lit up when you spotted him. He knew he was a goner.

Which is exactly why he was resisting you with every ounce of strength he could find. He wanted nothing more to take you home and have his way with you. He wanted you, every single piece of you. He wanted to study you. To explore you until he had nothing left to. He also knew that you were unlike any woman he had come across. You challenged him more in the three weeks he’s known you than any other person has in his life. You would never back down a challenge, not even when the guys are ganging up on you. You would flip them the bird and move on with your day. You were also the wittiest woman he’s come across. You made it seem like he knew what he was going to say before he even said it. Don’t even get Jake started on how sweet you were. Truly, you were just a kind person. Even with the quick wittedness you still came across as nothing but kind.

He also knew how much you wanted him. It killed him to say no to you. It was endearing just how bad you wanted a kiss from him. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out that much longer.

“We should get to the classroom then.” He said softly.

Snapping out of your thoughts you looked up to him, “Yeah, guess it’s the moment of truth.” You bit your cheek not trying to think of the ramifications of the mission. You were sure Mav was going to pick Jake, absolutely sure of it. This sudden realization sent another wave of panic through you. You were really going to have to get this shit under control if you were going to be one of the few chosen.

He tugged your arm lightly before dropping your hand. You frowned but knew it was for the best, you never knew who was going to be walking around the corner. Once you reached the door you motioned for him to go on, “Go, I’ll wait a few before coming in.” You were being extra cautious. If there was anybody who was going to notice you two walking in together very late it’d be Phoenix. You weren’t ready from an ass-chewing from her just yet.

He nodded giving your arm a squeeze once more before heading in. You could see his demeanor change from his softer side with you to Lieutenant Jake Seresin, everybody’s pain in the ass. You waited a few more minutes before joining the rest of the Dagger Squad. You slid into the classroom as nonchalantly as you could. Phoenix met your eye questioning why you were back to much later than the rest of them. As you passed her you gave her the ‘I’ll tell you later’ look.

You slid down in a seat next to Harvard. The two of you had become quick friends after Yale’s accident. Yale was grounded a week ago due to a concussion and a broken leg after a bad ejection from the practice plane. The entire ordeal scared the living shit out of everybody in the Squadron. But he was fine, obviously upset he no longer had a shot. Yale also felt incredibly guilty after leaving Harvard high and dry. Mav started pairing Harvard with different solo fliers. Harvard seemed to click with you and Rooster the best. You enjoyed flying with Harvard, but it was a change. You were used to going solo. You enjoyed the challenge, the two of you fully taking it head on. You still secretly wanted to fly this mission alone.

“Miss Lava.” He tipped his head in your direction.

“Mr. Harvard.” You bowed back to him. Little things like that provided you comfort with your potential new air partner. Admittedly you tried avoided flying with a Wizzo as much as you could. You’d never say no to flying with one if it was needed but Mav’s past was always in your mind. Your dad told you just how bad it was for Maverick after he lost Goose in that freak training incident. So, you opted to fly solo.

“All good?” His brow lifted waiting for your response.

You smiled at him, getting tired of the question, “Oh yeah, you know how bad I am at pushups.”

He chuckled, “I see those guns, don’t lie Kazansky.”

“Shut up, Aardvark.” You rolled your eyes using the nickname you had unintentionally given him in the last week. Maverick was on your ass. You just couldn’t shake him. You had Harvard yelling in the comms getting you frazzled as you avoided getting target locked. There was so much going on you couldn’t think of his callsign for the life of you and Aardvark unfortunately came out instead of Harvard. You supposed Aardvark sounded like Harvard backwards.

He snorted, “You’re not going to drop it are you? My callsign gets a callsign now?”

You nodded leaning back into your seat hoping to catch a glimpse of Jake. He was sitting further up in the classroom next to Coyote. The pair seemed to be talking about something seriously. You brought your attention back to Harvard knowing you weren’t being very discreet, “Only for you Harvard.”

You noticed his eyes looking towards where your eyes had just left, yep you were being too obvious. He smirked eyeing you like he knew something, “Seresin hey?”

“What are you talking about Harvard?” Gaslight, gaslight, gaslight. You gave him a blank look, a slack expression.

He leaned forward giving you a small, delighted smile, “I’m not stupid Kazansky.”

“Did I say you were?” You questioned back to him, horrified how quickly he picked up on it.

“You like him.” His lips twitched into a smile as he narrowed in on you, observing your reaction.

You thanked your lucky stars that you put makeup on today, praying that it was enough to cover the tomato face you inevitably had, “Do not.”

“Yes you do.”

You turned so fast to him giving him a wild-eyed look, “Do not.” You repeated yourself. You weren’t sure how obvious you had been in front of the crew, but it looks like Harvard noticed. You thought you were doing a pretty good job of hiding it.

“Then why do you act all weird when you’re flying with him?” He cockily raised a single eyebrow.

Your lips parted ready to respond but nothing came out, your brain was failing you, “I have no idea what you’re talking about Aardvark.” You scrunched your nose turning away from him slightly.

“You’re unbelievable Kazansky.”

“You best believe that.” You threw him your most charming smile.

He shook his head laughing silently to himself. He was about to respond but the classroom doors opened with Mav, Cyclone and Warlock following closely behind, “Showtime.” Harvard clapped his hands.

The squadron was silent, everybody on edge to hear the assignments. Mav took a spot leaving only five pilots being selected. All eyes watched as the three men took the center of the room.

Mav looked at each pilot individually before continuing, “It has been an honor flying with you. Each one of you represents the best of the best. This is a very specific mission. My choice is a reflection of that and nothing more.”

He took a pause before Cyclone stepped in. Cyclone was cold. Even colder than your dad. You kept your eyes on Mav as Cyclone spoke, “Choose your two foxtrot teams.”

Mav smiled, “Phoenix and Bob.” He nodded to them before continuing, “Rooster and Harvard.” Your heart sunk knowing it was either you or Jake flying solo. Mav continued, “And your wingman. Lava.” You gave yourself a mini fist pump.

You turned to Harvard giving him the biggest hug, “We did it.” You clapped your hand on his back. You were so caught up in your emotions you almost forgot Jake, almost. Mav didn’t call Jakes name. You desperately wanted to go over to him. To pull him into a hug. To tell him he’s still the best pilot here. Jake would never admit to anybody but this one was going to hurt him. You saw just how hard he had trained through the last few weeks. You saw how he went from an incredible pilot to an exceptional one. You were genuinely surprised by Mav’s decision. There was one thing you learned early though, Mav always had his reasons.

Jake and Coyote sat at their desk as the rest of the Dagger Squad congratulated each other. After each hug and conversation, you had your eyes immediately went back over to Jake. You caught his eyes a few times seeing just how sad they looked. He softly smiled each time you made eye contact making you feel worse each time. You were sure Harvard was watching the two of you communicate silently just knowing he was going to give you shit for it later.

Jake walked out before the congratulations ended. You mentally forced the frown away from your face, this was supposed to be the best moment of your career. All you could think about was making Jake smile though. You wanted his full on Jake Seresin toothy grin that sent your heart racing. The one that could light up any room.

Despite everything you noticed his truck hadn’t left the lot even being the first one to leave. You walked over to it seeing Jake sitting there. He was deep in thought as you strolled up to him returning the soft smile from earlier. He unlocked the door motioning you to join him.

“Hey.” You said while jumping into his truck.

“Hi.” He didn’t turn to look at you. Your heart fell as you thought about what to do, what you could do.

Turning your full body to face him you spoke, “Jake, I’m so sorry…”

He cut you off, “Don’t be darling. Can you come here?” He opened his arms waiting for you to scoot across the bench style seating to him.

“You’re not worried about them seeing?”

He shook his head, just wanting to hold you. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t really that sad. He was disappointed that Mav didn’t see him as good enough to fly. Jake knew you were going to be picked. He was almost certain he would’ve been too had Rooster not flown the way he had been recently. He was a backup, sure, but it just wasn’t the same as flying. He wanted to fly with you.

You happily obliged scooting yourself into his arms. You leaned your head onto his shoulder breathing him in. Quickly becoming obsessed with his cologne. The second he wrapped his arms around you pulling you in, you knew you were home. The instant relief and comfort such a simple gesture gave you was astonishing. As cheesy as it sounded, all your worries melted away as soon as he was near. You craved his physical touch.

“I don’t care right now.” He sighed resting his head on top of yours, “Just want you.” Your body felt nearly weightless at his words.

“I want you to.” You wrapped your arms around his torso squeezing him lightly.

He placed a kiss on the crown of your head whispering, “You’re so pretty.”

The chill that coursed through your body was nearly lethal. You were so weak when you heard his sweet words, “You can’t say that if you’re not going to kiss me.”

His laugh reverberated throughout your chest sending a small smile to your face. You closed your eyes fully taking him in.

You frowned when he pulled back from you, “It’s cute when you pout like that.” He took his free hand gently placing it under your chin. He ran his thumb along your jawline. He was fully taking you in now. You were looking at him with those big dopey eyes begging him to kiss you. It’s all you wanted, you wanted it more than getting selected for deployment.

You blinked slowly letting him hold your chin, “I wish you were going to be up there with me.” You sighed looking away from him. He wouldn’t let your head move out of his grasp, so you settled on moving your eyes away from him.

“Me too. More than anything, sweetheart.” He let your head go pulling your entire body into his, having your head rest on his chest. You were so profoundly comfortable with this man you didn’t think twice. You listened to the steady beat of his heart as he brushed through your hair. He was so soft. So gentle with you.

“But you’re going to do amazing up there. You’re going to be the best damn pilot up here. You’re going to hit that Uranium facility. And then you’re going to come back home. You were picked Y/N. You.” He kept brushing through your hair feeling you tense around him. His words driving the fear of not coming home back to him, Mav, and your dad. He continued trying to ease your stress, “You were picked. Mav picked you because he knows you can do it. You, Y/N Kazansky. One of the best pilots I’ve ever seen.” You shivered relaxing into him feeling terribly vulnerable at his words. He was comforting you right now when you were meant to be comforting him.

“Jake,” You brought your head off his chest, “Thank you.”

“Anytime beautiful.” He dopily smiled at you, “Let’s get you back home. Need to rest up before tomorrow.” He squeezed your thigh removing himself from you completely. You didn’t like that part, untangling yourself from Hangman.

“If we must.” You grumbled unhappily.

You didn’t realize that just being around him improved his mood. Your gentleness made his heart soar. Nobody had been so gentle with him before. He was Hangman, the cocky aviator who could get whomever he wanted. Why would he need somebody to be gentle with him? He was fine, he was getting through it just fine. Yes, you challenged him, but you never pushed him too far. When he needed the comfort there you were right there for him.

He was growing to adore the way you pouted when you didn’t get your way. Your eyebrows would stitch themselves together, nose crinkled up and lips parted. Jake just knew it was the way you got through to your dad, Admiral Kazansky. He was also sure it wouldn’t be much longer before he started caving to that face as well.

You and Jake talked for a few more moments before you left and got into your car. Your mind was swimming in thoughts as you drove back home. You knew you needed to get your head in the game before you all deployed the next morning. When you got home you changed before laying down on the couch. You were a big ball of anxiety not sure how to get yourself to stop thinking.

You pulled your phone out dialing the only person you knew could help, “Y/N.” You heard the smile in his voice.

“Dad.” You let out the big breath you were holding in.

“I heard. Congratulations.”

“Mav?” You questioned.

“Yes. Gave me a call not too long ago. I’ve been waiting on yours.”

You smiled, that was so like him, “Yeah sorry, talked with some of the other pilots for a little bit.”

“Getting along okay?” He pressed. What did Mav tell him? Mav was far too unobservant to be catching you ogling Jake.

“Mhmm.” You hummed placing him on speaker, “Getting along great.”

“So, I’ve heard.” He chuckled.

“What’d he tell you?” Groaning you got up to grab a drink from the fridge.

“Oh, nothing Lieutenant.”

“Dad!” You laughed, “Tell me.”

“Why are you getting so worked up about it kid?.” You heart dropped into your butt. He had to know. He had to know something. He was right though. You didn’t get worked up about stuff like this ever. He knew something was off. Your dad knew you better than you knew yourself.

“I’m not.” You replied, lying.

“Well, that’s good. I’m glad you’re getting along with everybody.”

“You know that’s not why I called you dad.” You ran your fingers through your hair.

He paused knowing the lighthearted conversation was shifting into something far more serious, “How are you feeling Y/N?” He asked, genuinely checking in on his daughter. Not many things scared Admiral Kazansky. Not even the throat cancer he beat. But his daughter doing this mission? That scared the living shit out of him. His little girl, his pride and joy was about to deploy for one of the most serious missions he’s ever seen. He knew the risk of you not returning were far greater than anything else you’ve previously done. He was so scared, but he couldn’t let you know this. He had to be your rock right now, somebody to help and guide you.

“I’m a little anxious, dad.” You admitted. You unknowingly began nibbling on your lip as a release.

“That’s okay. I’d be shocked if you weren’t. You need to find a routine.” He spoke softly trying not to raise the anxiety that was already bubbling in you.

“Routine?”

“Before big flights. You need to find the routine that helps you relax. Like a hot bath and a book, you like those right?” He asked.

You couldn’t help the stupid grin that spread across your face. He knew you so well, “Yeah dad, that sounds like my perfect night.”

“When we hang up I need you to do that Y/N. I need you to take your mind off it. You can’t think up there Y/N.”

You nodded, “Don’t think. Just do.” You recited Mav’s favorite lines to your dad. You had grown up flying with your dad and Mav. You always heard Mav yelling, “Don’t think. Just do.” Repeatedly through the comms. When it was your turn to actually start flying the planes Mav made sure to give you a lesson in ‘Don’t think. Just do.’ Mav scared the living shit out of you when you took your first jet up in the air.

You’d been flying with your dad for literally as long as you could remember. You learned how to fly a plane when you were ten. Of course, your dad was sitting right there with you, but he gave you full control and let you at it. He always said that it was a little secret between the two of you fully knowing your mom would throw a fit if she knew. These were civilian air crafts, naturally. Your dad had some pull unfortunately not taking a jet out for a ten year old pull though. You were a natural picking up on everything rather quickly.

You weren’t allowed to fly solo until you turned sixteen, thanks FAA. The day you did though you were up in the air on your own, your dad cheering you on the entire way. He made sure he was in the tower giving you instructions as you went about. You’ll never forget the look on his face when you landed. You’d never seen him so happy as he scooped you in his arms spinning you around telling you how proud he was of you.

The day you turned 17 you got your private pilot license. You, of course, passed with flying colors. Your dad threw a big party inviting anybody and everybody. He loved showing off your talents. Classic Iceman. You had yet to graduate high school but was further ahead than anybody in your class. You had your dad to thank for that. A Naval Academy graduation, Naval flight school, Top Gun, and a few deployments later you knew you were ready. You were more ready than anybody before you. You’ve wanted this your whole life. Don’t think, just do.

“Don’t think. Just do.” He repeated back to you.

You took a deep breath feeling better. He always made you feel calmer, “Thank you, dad. You always know what to say.”

“Give ‘em hell Y/N. Give them hell kid.”

“Yes sir.” Your eyes crinkled from the smile forming across your face. That was always his favorite line. Give ‘em hell. You would do exactly that for your dad, give them hell.

Don’t think. Just do. Go time.

Your F-18 was idling waiting on the go from command. Second in line. Eighteen hours ago you were in Miramar training. Now you were halfway across the world. You took a deep breath knowing you’d get the all clear soon.

You tapped the picture of your family, for good luck, “Let’s have a good flight.” You stuck your thumb up signaling your readiness.

“Dagger One, up and ready on catapult one.” Mav spoke through the comms. You let your breath out, letting it go one last time.

“Dagger Spare, standing by.” Jake spoke. Here it comes.

“Dagger Four, up and ready.” Phoenix came through.

“Dagger Three, up and ready.” Rooster this time. Showtime.

Your turn, “Dagger Two, up and ready.” Time slowed down like it always did when you were launching. Your best days included launching yourself from an aircraft carrier.

You heard the faint, “Send them.” And you were off just milliseconds after Mav was gone. Time to go.

“All systems online.” You confirmed to yourself. You flew to the left of Mav solely focusing on what the next ten minutes would be. Get in. Get out. Dog Fight. Breathe.

“Dagger Attack.” Mav spoke. You maneuvered your jet behind the Dagger One squad coming up on the valley quickly. Locked in you followed Rooster, close. You probably were a little too close, you weren’t going fast enough. Rooster wasn’t flying fast enough. Thirty seconds in you heard panic over the comms, Rooster was not flying fast enough. Maverick was far ahead trying not to leave his wingman, but Rooster was making it hard. You gulped knowing what was on the other side of the climb, knowing how bad it could be for the Dagger Squad if he didn’t pick up the pace.

Another thirty seconds pass with everybody yelling at him to pick up the pace. You shook it off focusing on flying behind Rooster, as close as you could. You were getting nervous now, having over ten seconds to make up.

“Impact. Enemy runway is destroyed!” Command let the Dagger Squad know. Really no turning back now. Focus. In. Out. Dogfight.

Another thirty seconds go by. Rooster finally kicked it into high gear. You thanked your lucky stars knowing Mav needed to be locked in to drop those bombs.

You were able to speed yourself up hightailing it behind Rooster and Harvard. Phoenix and Bob not far behind you.

“15 seconds.” You spoke getting Dagger Four ready. Mav and Rooster just made their climb and dive into the mountain. Things really felt like they were going in slow motion as you were approaching the Uranium enrichment plant.

“We’ve got impact! That’s a direct hit!” You heard Harvard cheer from the Dagger One squad. Breathe. Your turn.

“Go time.” You punched it seeing the first climb ahead of you.

“Dagger Two, status.” You heard Mav breathing hard. No fucking way he was talking to you while climbing that mounting.

“Almost there Mav. Almost there.” Your eyes were locked on, ready for it.

You pulled up breathing erratically forcing the plane into positions it did not want to be in. Just a few more seconds and you could breathe. You flipped the plane descending into the mounting spotting the blown up entryway.

“Bob, where’s my laser?”

“Working on it Lava.” You heard Phoenix and Bob both breathing heavily.

“Hurry up Bob.” You spoke to yourself starting to panic at the time crunch.

“Laser eye locked on.” Bob spoke calmly.

“Bombs away.” You hit the button praying for a hit. The second the bombs were dropped you pulled up, hard. You hardly heard the “Bulls-eye!” celebration as you were climbing the mountain. The G’s you, Phoenix and Bob were taking should’ve knocked you out cold. You vision started getting hazy fully knowing you were hitting 10 G’s. You squeezed every muscle in your body trying to get the blood pumping back into your brain. Focus. Get out. Dogfight.

The gasp you took once you finally crested the mountain was not for the light of heart. You had half a second to your thoughts before the SAM’s started firing.

“Fuck.” You muttered fully comprehending what was going down. You got in. You got out. Dogfight time. You punched it letting Phoenix and Bob know, you couldn’t lose them. They were your wingmen. Don’t think. Just do.

You were firing flares and bullets galore. You knew you needed to conserve them but there was just too many SAM’s coming in every direction. Phoenix was yelling. Mav was yelling. You were yelling right with them trying to get everybody out of it alive.

You felt a sense of peace wash over you as your flares were depleting far too fast. You used too many diverting a missile away from Phoenix. You used the last few blowing a missile up from behind.

“I’m out of flares.” You spoke, eerily calm into the radio. You rolled away right from the middle of the action trying to think of what to do, anything to do. What would Iceman do? They wouldn’t think. They would just do.

You grunted maneuvering every which way and direction. Fuck, there was so much going on.

“Smoke in the air!” You heard Phoenix yelling.

“Shit, I’m out Phoenix.” You panicked. No flares. Only bullets, that’d do you no good. Time to race and hope for the best.

“Evade! Evade!” Mav screamed into his comms. Horrified at what he saw happening before him he sprang into action.

“I can’t shake them!” You went right and left, up and down trying to get the missiles off your ass.

Mav flew above you releasing his flares. Eyes wide you let out a guttural scream when you saw Mav’s plane take a direct hit, “Mav! No!” You cried.

“Dagger one is hit! I repeat Dagger one it his! Maverick is down.” Phoenix yelled to command letting them know what was happening out in the field.

“Dagger one, come in!” You cried into the comms, desperate, “Did anyone see a parachute? Dagger one!” No response. The three planes began their flight back to the carrier. You couldn’t focus. Mav was down there.

“Lava! Those bandits are closing we can’t go back.” Phoenix tried to reason with you. You were breathing hard. You couldn’t believe your ears. They would just abandon him? Your Uncle Mav?

“Lava, he’s gone. Maverick’s gone.” Bob spoke up this time.

You shook your head, they didn’t understand. Fuck it. You dipped out of formation disobeying orders. Phoenix, Bob, Rooster and Harvard screaming at you. Ignore. Go find Mav. You flew as fast as you could. More screaming into the headset. There, a helicopter down below. It was firing at something. Mav?

You locked target, giddy with excitement. You released one of your only offensive missiles left. You watched as the helicopter exploded, unsure if Mav was down there. What you really hadn’t thought about was being defenseless and within SAM range again. You were hit almost immediately after you hit that helicopter. Lucky for you, you ejected.

You were wrapping your parachute up when Maverick came sprinting into your view. He was alive, cool, maybe you would be able to figure this one out after all. You went to greet him, but you received a rather hard push into the snow instead.

“What the hell Mav!” You yelled.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine.” You groaned standing back up, “That hurt though.”

“What are you doing here? You think I took that missile so you could be down here?” He yelled.

“Jesus Christ Mav! Did I not sure save your life?”

“I saved yours!” He huffed in frustration, “Ice is going to skin me alive, Y/N Kazansky. What the hell were you even thinking?”

“You taught me not to think!” You yelled back to him.

He clenched his fists in frustration, beaten on that one, “Well, it’s good to see you.”

You grinned laughing a little, “Good to see you too, Mav. Got a plan?” You smiled sweetly to your daredevil uncle. He always had some sort of plan. You found your way to the blown up air strip curious as to what he was thinking. You both jogged to an unmanned hanger. An F-14 sitting there, just waiting on Mav. He instructed you on what to do. Somehow finding a strip or concrete that could take the jet.

To your absolute astonishment the damn thing made it up in the air. Not after you making fun of it, calling it a museum piece. Mav instantly defended the worn down jet. You thought it’d be smooth flying back to the jet. But to your absolute horror two jets flew up next to you speaking a foreign language. Busted. You worked in the backseat to try and get something going, flipping every breaking you could. There was a reason you were a pilot and not a Wizzo, this stuff did not come easily to you.

“Come on Mav. Don’t think, just do.”

“Hang tight kid.” Mav began his crazy array of piloting shit, you getting to witness it front and center. Immediately taking one of the jets out.

“Smoke in the air!” You cried trying to help him out as much as you could.

“Flares. Now, now, now!” You let them rip from behind you defending yourself.

Mav dived getting low. Claiming that the terrain would confuse his targeting system. You gasped when the bullets came flying. Life or death.

“We took a hit!” You yelled.

“Brace yourself.” He almost stopped the jet hopping over the one that was chasing the duo. Mav unleased a flurry of attacks on the jet.

“You got them Mav!” Mav nailed the jet sending it down.

“Yes! Mav!” You shrieked happier than ever. Mav was certifiably the most insane pilot you’ve ever been around. You couldn’t believe what he was doing in the jet.

You thought you were all clear until you somehow managed to get the radar on. “Oh fuck.” You gasped seeing something not friendly pop up on the scan.

“Mav we got another one! Where is it?”

“On our nose.”

You were sent into a panic seeing a missile coming straight at you. Mav dodged the missile and the plane.

“We’re out of flares Mav.” You yelled not believing it was happening for a second time.

The bullets from the fifth gen started firing right at the inferior Tomcat, ripping into the back of it, “This is not good.” You cried looking behind you. Mav moved the aircraft back and forth somehow dodging most of the bullets.

“We took another hit!”

“No, no, no, no, no.” You heard Maverick begin to panic. Shit. You knew it was serious when he was sent into a frenzy.

“We can’t outrun this guy. Pull the ejection handles the second I tell you.” Mav spoke quickly realizing how dire the situation was.

“Mav wait!”

“Lava there’s no other way.” He pulled the aircraft up not giving you a second to argue with him.

“Eject, eject, eject. Lava, pull the handle! Eject!” Mav cried.

You tried. You really tried with all your might but the handles above you wouldn’t budge. You tried once more with no luck. A cold shiver ran through your body as you realized it really might be over for you.

“It’s not working! Mav!”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry Ice.” He whispered. Your blood ran cold hearing the target lock. You tried with all your might to get the ejection handles to work.

As your luck would have it you heard an explosion from behind you. The jet had exploded out of thin air. That was until Jake came on through. You let out a cry realizing you’d make it home. It was hard to accept you’re the fate of death knowing what could happen at any time. It had never felt so serious before that moment. You would still love flying. You just had a newfound respect for it after this one.

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. This is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seatbelts, return your tray tables to their locked and upright positions, and prepare for landing.” You and Maverick both let out a laugh. You crying a little. Giving him a thumbs up.

“Hey, Hangman, you look good.” Mav spoke after catching his breath.

“I am good, Mav. I’m very good.” You could see the smugness from as far as you were. He’d never let you live this one down.

You and Mav had a not so spectacular landing without a tailhook or landing gear. You sat there for a moment collecting your breath not really believing you’d made it back with hardly a scratch.

“You good?” Mav asked.

You laughed, feeling more euphoric than anything, “Yeah Mav, I’m good.”

The Tomcat was surrounded by crew and pilots alike celebrating your arrival back safe and sound. Mav was swept up by Hondo and Rooster. Phoenix cried bear hugging you.

“You stupid fucking idiot Kazansky.” She released you letting Jake have at you.

“I had to Phoenix.” She shook her head.

“Your boyfriend wants a word.”

You spun around seeing Jake looking very un-Jake like face looking back to you. He was happy to see you. You could tell that much. He just looked terrified?

“Are you fucking insane? Do you have a death wish?” Jake asked as he pulled you aside from the celebration grabbing your shoulders, shaking you back to reality, “Y/N!” He pushed you up against the inside aircraft carrier’s walls lightly.

“I’m sorry Jake!” You tried prying his hands off you, but he wouldn’t relent. He wasn’t hurting you by any means. He needed to touch you. To know that you were real. Jake couldn’t comprehend the last 45 minutes. First Maverick getting shot down he fully expected to scramble. Then, the worst news he could have heard, Dagger Two had been hit. He felt his blood drain right out of his body, finding it hard to breath.

“You’re sorry? You were dead Kazansky. Dead to the military. They wouldn’t let me go.” He let out a frustrated groan. Not sure how to express himself to you.

“I had to. That’s Pete. I had to Jake.” You couldn’t look up to him. It was finally hitting you just how dumb you had been. Your dad wasn’t going to be too thrilled about this one.

“Please look at me.” He spoke more calmly, chest heaving in and out. Obliging you looked up to him fully seeing the distress on his face, “I thought you were dead Y/N. For forty minutes I thought you were gone.” A single tear rolled down his face. Shit. Fuck.

You reached up wiping it away with the pad of your thumb, “But you saved us.” You spoke so quietly.

“I shouldn’t have had to.” He leaned his forehead against yours pushing you back up against the wall completely, “What were you thinking.”

“I wasn’t.” You admitted for the second time that day.

He cupped your face with his hands, “Can I kiss you?”

Eyes wide you responded, “Here? They’re all going to see.” You looked out onto the deck seeing everybody still celebrating. You were pulled away quickly from the chaos by Jake not fully getting to celebrate just yet. Celebration first then comes the inevitable punishment. You did disobey direct orders.

He shook his head looking at you like you were the most important thing to him, “I don’t care anymore. I thought you were gone. I thought I was never going to be able to kiss you Kazansky.” He looked at you with those lovesick eyes.

“Finally.” You grinned pulling him into you. He kissed you softly not wanting to mess this up. You, however, wanted more. You flipped him around, so he was leaning on the wall backed up against it. You pulled him in closer kissing him with more fervor. You pressed your body into his making sure he felt the friction you desired. Parting your mouth, you allowed him entrance.

He felt every ounce of your eagerness. Happily kissing you more aggressively than he anticipated. The two of you were no longer just kissing one another, you were full on sucking face. He stifled a grunt as you kept pressing yourself into him.

He broke the make out up knowing he would never hear the end of it if he had a hard on when he rejoined the celebration, “Jesus Christ Lieutenant, you can’t do that here.”

You giggled staring right at his mouth, you wanted more. So much more. He looked so damn hot standing there a little dazed with a semi-swollen mouth, “Sorry Hangman.”

He licked his lips knowing exactly what he wanted to do to you later, “Doesn’t seem all that sincere of an apology.”

You winked at him, no apology whatsoever, “It’s not. Now let’s go.” You took his hand dragging him back out onto the deck joining right back in where you left off.

“Well, aren’t you just a vision.” Jake whistled when you opened your front door. He handed you a small bouquet of flowers, “For you my dear.”

“Lilies!” You grinned grabbing the flowers from him gingerly, “These are my favorite.” You smiled up to him.

“They’re the ones from that pretty dress you wear sometimes.” He blushed lightly, not sure why he admitted that to you. Jake wanted to tell you everything. He learned this quickly in your relationship. The first few weeks he struggled not to pick his phone up to call you about something inconvenient that happened. You had to keep your phone on silent, getting in trouble for having it on as you were back in class.

You were originally stationed out of Virginia Beach, far away from your family. After the mission, and the ass chewing from your father, you were transferred back to Miramar. Again, you were convinced it was your father pulling strings because Cyclone wasn’t your biggest fan these days after you disobeyed his orders. You were reassigned as a teacher at Top Gun. You did your best to stay away from Cyclone, but it was hard, Top Gun wasn’t a big place.

Jake was previously stationed in San Diego, at the base a little further South. You couldn’t help but to be excited when you were transferred back to Top Gun. Jake was down the road. Mav literally lived a few blocks from you and your family was within driving distance.

You jumped in headfirst at Top Gun, you were used as the Maverick of training in the field. You loved beating aviators that were much older than you, all cockier than the next. You loved knocking then down a peg, humbling them a bit. You were worried that your flying career was over with the transfer. Your fears were moot when you were given your next set of orders, a mission in the middle east. That wasn’t for another few weeks though.

You set the flowers in a vase and topped it with water. Smiling stupidly at the flowers. You were floored that he noticed something so small. You hurried back over to your charming date.

“You noticed that hmm?” You kissed him on the cheek smiling sweetly at the man. You weren’t sure but you thought you loved him. You wouldn’t dare admit that anytime soon knowing you’d sound crazy, but he was incredible in every way. It was the small things he did that made your days so much easier. He would make sure your car was filled up, bring you flowers, order you dinner, made sure you never opened a door when he was around. You couldn’t help but to fall in love with him. You were only a month and half in, but you knew. You knew he was it for you.

“I notice everything about you sweetheart.” He tapped your nose with his pointer finger. Grabbing your hand, he walked you to his truck opening his door for you, “You really do look beautiful.”

“Thank you, Jake.” You shook your head at him loving the flattery but shy about it nonetheless.

He nodded winking at you thinking how cute it was when you shied away. He knew how comfortable you were with him, but the simplest comments would make you shy away. He still had something up his sleeve.

The drive to the beach was mostly quiet albeit the radio humming away. You loved the comfortable silence between the too, never feeling the slightest bit awkward. You always moved closer to him making sure to not distract him too much when he was driving. You either played with his hand or he with yours. Seemingly not ever wanting to ever let him go.

He parked. Jumping out quickly to get to your door before you could. You laughed as he just beat you this time, “You know I can get the door.”

He cocked an eye, “Sure you can. But you won’t.” He took your hand helping you down.

He grabbed a picnic basket and a blanket out of the back leading you to the beach. You loved the beach at sunset. The colors in the sky, the birds chirping away, the people flying kites. Everything about it made you happy. Jake picked up on it quickly, you were always suggesting sunset walks or swims. He was learning to love it just as much as you did.

He laid everything out letting you pick which spot you wanted, “This is wonderful.” You softly smiled to the man who captured your heart.

“I know how much you love the beach sunset. Why not dinner and a beach sunset.” He grabbed your hands squeezing them.

“You’re so sweet.” You couldn’t take your eyes off him, sunset be dammed, “Phoenix never believes me when I tell her how it’s going.”

He grumbled, “You tell Phoenix?”

“Yeah, and Halo.”

“Kazansky.” He sighed peeking back up seeing your amused expression. He couldn’t stop the smile that spread brightly across his face.

“Seresin.” You giggle admiring the way the sun reflects off him.

“Gosh you’re pretty.”

“So are you.” You replied quickly. Suddenly feeling flustered by him as he scooted closer to you.

He chuckled reaching for your face, “Sweet girl.” He leaned in further sending your heart into a frenzy. He stopped just short of your lips letting you finish the kiss, only if you wanted to.

You wanted too, closing the gap quickly. You felt him smile as you kissed him. You just adored him. He only stopped when he heard your stomach grumble.

“Let’s eat.” He grinned handing you your dinner.

Part 3

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