#and thats why Paul wont let him leave his house

[keycompany]

modern au paul’s in my brain so time to drop some info. lets establish his family dynamic first:

paul's Ma is named mary so thats what ill call her. he has two little sisters, kelly (5-6) and jenny (12-13). his dad's name is charles

charles is a fucking deadbeat. all he does is get drunk and complain about everything under the sun. he retired when paul got into high school and since then he just rapidly declined (he was always an ass but in terms of being an alcoholic). the only reason he keeps paul around is bc hes the only one that has a job, and he basically does all the house work. they have a HORRIFIC relationship and paul only interacts with him bc he cant stand being away from mary and his sisters

mary grew up and is VERY religious. she attends church every sunday, theres crosses all around the house, scolds the kids if they use the lord's name in vain, etc. very textbook christian Lord Lover. but shes also not very There. nobody knows what it is. she’s capable of taking care of herself (barely) but not 3 children. (paul guesses its bc she didnt sign up to throw her life away to raise 3 kids and marry an idiot)

anyway, since mary is religious (and he lives in fucking Georgia) paul grew up religious. during high school's when everything kind of Hits him. why does he have to work every day to support his family? why is he dirt poor when theres people that arent? he Doesnt Understand so thats when the relationship [with religion] gets complicated. he loves his ma more than anything in the world, but hes confused and lonely and doesnt see why shes not as mad as he is.

his angry phase fades pretty fast cuz he isnt an angry person, but thats when the crushing guilt sets in. this is around the time he starts meeting crash, burke, and ken (he met joe in middle school, joe meets them when he goes to college, the rest is history). theyre all going to university and they get to leave home and experience life while hes stuck in Fucking Georgia taking care of his kid sisters and ma and trying to keep the family afloat. the Guilt is because he's so jealous of them, but he doesnt get jealous. hes never been a jealous person. he shouldnt envy the people he loves so why does he?

he just doesnt see how any of its fair, and his entire life his ma is saying its God's plan and that this is meant to happen, theyre meant to live off dollar store food and second hand clothes and theyre meant to live in a house thats falling apart and paul's supposed to have a horrible fucking dad and sisters that wont ever see the beach or know anything other than being fucking poor and hes guilty. so guilty about thinking all of that. so guilty about not being able to do anything about it

[cosmicbash]

Thinking about an AU where Kelly runs a podcast/radio show reviewing and discussing new music/artists in the hiphop/rap game.

He still writes and produces his own music and is a huge Eminem fan but their beef hasn't ever happened in this universe.

When he gets a call from Paul asking if he'd like to interview Em about his newest album he all but faints right there on the spot. It's like a dream come true and he actually has Rook pinch him after they've ended the call and scheduled a phone in spot on next Friday's program. Sure he's not getting to meet his idol face to face but just getting to talk to him one on one is already a huge win in Kelly's book so he's over the moon.

Paul didn't tell him to keep it a secret so of course that means the upcoming interview is all Kelly can talk about in the days leading up to it. Every episode he records has the topic somehow sidetracking over to Em by the end. It gets to the point where even his fans are rolling their eyes and calling him a fanboy but Kelly doesn't care. He's just too excited.

When Friday rolls around Kelly is all but dancing into the studio, a starbucks cup in hand and his face stuck on a permanent smile. Ready to start his early prep work and sort our his questions for the 50th time while he waits for Em's call. (It took an extreme amount of self control for him not to abuse the fact Paul gave him Em's cell number)

Em's album is bumping at max volume in the headphones on his ears when he shoulder bumps his way through the studio door. His lips wrapped tight around the straw of his drink when his eyes land on the brunette casually reclining in his chair. A few of the assorted knickknacks he leaves decorating his desk twirling between the man's hands.

Kelly actually chokes on his drink.

By the time he's done loudly coughing and gasping for air the poor host is left praying that he didn't somehow spit coffee straight across the room at Em. He's feeling humilated enough by the fact that the first time they meet he almost kills himself with an iced coffee. The last thing he needs is to ruin the guys shoes or outfit ontop of it all.

When Em laughs the blonde is honestly tore between wanting to run and hide or melt. Everyone who's even heard of Em is aware of how rare it is to catch the rapper smiling, but that's exactly what he's doing. Kelly's idol is full on snickering at him and swiveling back and forth in his chair like his poor attempt at suicide by starbucks is the funniest thing he's seen in a long time. It's so mesmerizing Kelly almost completely misses the casual "You okay there kid?"

But there's no way he could actually miss it. Not a direct question from Eminem. His clumsy introduction has somehow earned him the mans undivided attention and Kelly is sure as shit going to embrace that whole heartedly.

It takes a few too quick motions before his headphones are dropped back around his neck and his feet are stable enough to carry him closer. Mouth rambling a mile a minute as he reaches out to shake his guests hand and apologize. "What? Y-yeah. Great. Never been better. That uh, sorry about- you know, I- I don't choke like that usually. I'm pretty good at...n-not choking-"

Em's eyebrows are rising and Kelly honestly doesn't think his face can get any redder than it is but he continues nonetheless.

"You're really here though! Paul- uh, P-Paul said we'd be doing a phone interview? I didn't realize we'd switched it-"

"Yeah, I'm not really big on doing this kinda shit over the phone. Is this a problem? Cuz we can just call it all off if you-"

Just the mere suggestion they cancel it has Kelly near screaming in the rapper's face. His fingers clamping onto Em's hand like a vice. "What? No! No! This is perfect! So much better-"

Em's mouth is quirking up at the edges in another smile and Kelly can't help but feel even more flustered. He's definitely making a fool of himself.

"I think so too." Em's other hand claps down over his and Kelly swears he's hallucinating an affectionate brush of thumb over his knuckles. Just being this close to his idol and touching hands has every nerve in his body feeling overloaded as it is.

Another full minute must pass with them just staring at eachother before Kelly's brain finishes rebooting and he regains enough common sense to end the moment, his cheeks still feeling like theyre on fire while he stutters his way through the rest of an introduction and the rough time line of the episode. It's not until he's settling down into the chair opposite of the other man that he realizes they're going to have to switch positions. A request he's not exactly confident on making but luckily avoids all together because as soon as he's finished explaining Em brings it up himself.

"So are we both going to share the guest chair today, or do you wanna switch? I'm down to just let you climb up on my lap too if that works-"

It's borderline flirting and Kelly almost finds himself choking again on his nervous sip of coffee.

Kelly has no idea how he's going to survive a few hours alone in the studio with the rapper, let alone record a whole podcast without the audience comparing him to a tomato.

((And then Em flirts with Kelly so much throughout the first recording that they actually have to scrap the whole session and start over. No amount of editing able to cover up the blondes flustered responses or Em's downright lewd jokes and teasing. Paul is pissed and Kelly's fans are questioning why the episode is being post poned another day. But Em makes it up to him with a dinner invitation and the promise that Paul's going to have Denaun sit in on the next session tomorrow to keep him in line. Cuz Em's a horny bastard who took one look at Kelly's cute rambling on the leadup to their interview and couldn't resist showing up in person to try and seduce the poor guy))

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Mr. I want suck your blood - Pt 4

Warning: Mentions of violence and Swearing 

Word count: 2,451 

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In stories, Soulmates were meant to be the real deal. They were forever. They were two individuals who were brought together by the universe so their lives finally made perfect sense. 

You'd never heard of Soulmates ‘Taking a break’ or ‘Splitting up,’ it wasn't something that happened. That’s not what happened in the stories. 

Thats just the thing though. Life isn't a story. Life’s a bitch.

Y/N POV

It had been 1 Hour 19 minutes and 45 seconds since Carlisle shattered your world. 1 Hour, 22 minutes and 23 seconds since you had ripped out your IV line and stormed out of the Cullen house. 1 Hour, 28 minutes and 15 seconds, since Carlisle Cullen, your SOULMATE, decided to call it quits.

Carlisle’s words were still ringing in your ears. “It’s safer this way.” or “Now you can live a normal human life.” You felt numb. 

-1 Hour, 19 minutes and 45 seconds ago- 

You looked up as you saw Carlisle standing in the wooden door frame. You smiled and placed a hand on your fast beating heart relieved to see him unscathed. Bella had swiftly exited the room. It was just the two of you now. You could tell straight away that something was wrong. Your heart started racing again. 

You sat there and listened, as Carlisle took your hand and proceeded to shatter your world. He’d decided that being together, it was too dangerous. He couldn't put you in danger again, couldn’t watch you bleed in his arms again. You both argued. It was his over protective nature, that was the cause of this.

“What about Bella and Edward? She’s still human?!” Apparently it was an invalid argument. Invalid my ass. He wouldn't budge. He thought some time apart would be for the best, even if saying it did secretly pain him. 

You were angry, so angry that you ripped out your own IV, not without gagging of course. The screaming and arguing drew the attention of the rest of the Cullen household. Bella was trying to calm you down and stop your arm from bleeding, while Edward and Esme were talking to Carlisle. 

You didn't care anymore. How dare he. How could he do this to you? You didn't ask for this life. You'd been dragged into it head first. You'd accepted him for all he was. Before all of this you WERE a normal teenager, with normal teenage problems! 

You didn't want normal anymore. You wanted Carlisle, the Volturi, wolves and blood singers. You wanted it all, but just like that, he took it away. 

You hadn't wasted any time running through the house, past Alice, Rose and Jasper and to your car. You say run, more like fast walked, your legs were still jelly from lying in bed the last couple of days. Alice had tried to stop you on the way out but Jasper told her to let you go, he could feel the pain and anger radiating of you in waves. 

The first thing you did when you got to your car was check your glove box for cigarettes. You got in and slammed the door, you could see Carlisle fighting to try and get passed Edward and Emmett but they wouldn't let him out. You looked over to see Bella running toward your car. You waited. She jumped in the passenger side and neither of you spoke a word.  You didn't have to. You started the engine and it came to life with a roar, you peeled out of the Cullen’s drive way with tears streaming down your face and a cigarette between your lips. You fucking hated Forks. 

Bella had made you pull over halfway home, scared the tears were clouding your vision. She was probably right, the road ahead did look quite blurry. You traded places and carried on towards home. She was talking to you but you weren't really listening, just watching the trees speed past in a blur, you were sure you could see other objects moving beside you through the trees just as fast, but blinked and they were gone.

-2 weeks later- 

Grand Piano by Nicki Minaj blared through the speakers on repeat, you sat staring blankly at your sketchpad, no inspiration, no drive.. nothing. It had been like this for two weeks. Bella had apparently been the same, but you just couldn't shake it. You'd shut yourself off from everyone. Only coming out of your room to get food and use the bathroom. You felt numb. 

You could tell your Mom and Charlie were starting to worry. They'd tried to talk to you, find out whats wrong. All they knew is someone broke your heart bad. You'd started having nightmares the first night you were without Carlisle. They felt like more than nightmares though, so vivid, almost like premonitions. You'd wake up still screaming in a cold sweat clutching your chest and crying. Crying for everything you lost when Carlisle let you go. You'd never been in love before and if it felt like this then you never wanted to be again. You didn't think you could love again. 

You were spaced out, the music was still playing in the background but your mind was somewhere else, another thing that had been happening since the accident. You just went places, like you were daydreaming, lost in a trance. This time was different though. It was if you were actually there, watching things unfold, only when you came to you were in your bedroom, your paints scattered everywhere, your sketchbook now covered in imagery. You gasped and flew back from your desk, the page awash with shades of vibrant red and black. You gagged. Blood….. and a symbol, it was an emblem of some sort. You shook your head and closed the book on the now dry paints. 

What the fuck. 

It happened a few more times after that. The spacing out, coming back to earth having drawn on something or once, even scratched symbols into your desk. You'd practically stopped sleeping. Too many thoughts in your head. Even Bella was getting worried, she knew what it was like to spiral and you were doing it at 100mph. She’d suggested talking to Carlisle but you shouted at her for even bringing him up. He left you and hadn't made any attempt to contact or see you. Why give him the satisfaction. 

You'd decided enough was enough. You had to start living your life again, or at least thats what you tried to tell yourself. Today you were going to see Seth. You’d become quite close friends with Seth since getting involved in the whole supernatural side of life but you'd been shutting him out for weeks, he knew what had happened with Mr I want to suck you blood, but he didn't ask questions, which you were grateful for. You thought it would do you some good to get outside and breath in the fresh air. You couldn't wallow in self pity any longer. 

It felt weird to be in normal clothes rather than ratty old pyjamas. You parked up, jumping out of your car, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. You had brought your sketchbook with you, you didn't know who to talk to about these things, so you were going to show one to Seth, just to see if he recognised anything. 

You couldn't help but breath deeply as the air floated off the salty sea and toward your face. You smiled as you watched Seth running down the beach. His boyish grin was charming and his smile grew as he got closer to you. He wrapped you in a hug and you hugged back desperate for a bit of normalcy. 

“Hey Seth,” You grinned, thankful for a bit of human, well in this case werewolf, connection. Yeah you had Bella.. and Alice had tried to stop by from time to time, but at the minute they were just a constant reminder of him…. 

“Y/N! I missed you, things have been so strange without seeing you around ya know!” You bumped his shoulder as you walked down the beach. It had been strange. You'd moved to Forks, got involved with Vamps and the supernatural and in all this time you'd never had any normal time to yourself, or with a friend. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant, you know the whole…. thing…” He just nodded his head. You didn't have to explain, he was just happy you were there now.

You'd spent hours just walking and talking on the beach. While walking you had bumped into some of the others as well, Sam, Paul…. You got along with them too, but they had never agreed with your relationship. They seemed somewhat more comfortable around you now. Catching up was good, you felt a lot lighter when you walked, your heart a little less heavy, he was still in the back of your mind though, as much as you tried to think about anything else.

There was an abandoned fire pit a little further up from where you'd been talking with the others, logs surrounded the ashy mound, placed out like small earthy benches. You'd been collecting odd pieces of wood on the way, expecting to find it there. Yourself and Seth pilled the kindling high and he started a fire, he didn't really need to because of his heat, but it was still fun. As Seth continued the fire you reached around and grabbed your leather backpack, opening the zip and fishing inside for your paint covered sketchbook. He came to sit beside you as you started flicking through the pages. You tried to glance at him from the corner of your eye to read his expressions. 

“Y/N, these are pretty amazing, and… somewhat scary…” He looked at the book and then back at you. “What are they?” His finger traced the images and the symbols. 

You shook your head and flicked through the pages more rapidly. “I don't know S, I…if I tell you something you have to promise you wont tell anyone, not even Sam, not even Jake….” You gulped and looked up at him. He looked confused. You faltered a little, getting nervous you shut your book and started to shove it in your bag. “This was stupid, I should go…” You stood up trying to leave but Seth grabbed your hand. 

“I wont tell, you can trust me I promise.” You relaxed, still hesitant, you sat back down. You took the sketchbook back out and went to the first page, tracing the symbols and images, remembering how clearly you had seen them in your mind.

“I drew these. But I didn’t, at the same time.” Seth just looked even more confused now. “I think…. I think something happened to me when I was bitten S…. Something I cant explain. This symbol, I drew this, sat at my desk, one minute the sky outside was light, the next thing I knew it was dark, and the once blank page was covered in all these drawings!” You flicked through the book and sighed placing your head in your hands. He probably thought you were crazy. You sure felt crazy.

You felt his hand rest on your back as you hunched over sighing. “Y/N I’m a wolf, The Cullen’s are Vampires… crazier things have happened, i’ve just never heard of this crazy happening yet….”

You peaked at him from your hands. “Do you know what any of the symbols mean? I see them in my dreams as well, it’s like i’m watching a movie in my head, it’s like I'm there but no one can hear me or see me.. It feels so real.” You sit up, flicking through the pages, before you can turn to the next, Seth’s hand comes flying down stopping the process as he points to one of the symbols. 

“Y/N, I’ve seen that symbol before… I think it’s something to do with the cold ones.. the Volturi to be exact.” You groan. This cant be fucking happening. Not only were you dumped now you were having freaky Volturi dreams as well? You searched in your bag for your cigarettes, you held the packet out to Seth and he surprisingly took one. You grinned.

“Wow Sethy never took you for the rebel type.” He ruffled your hair and you shoved him. “Seriously though what am I going to do, this shouldn't be happening i’m human, I didn't turn, Carlisle made sure of that.” You couldn't hide the bitter tone in your voice. 

“I don’t know what it means Y/N, but I promise we will figure it out.. cant you talk to Cull…” You glared at him before he could finish his sentence. “Never mind, stupid idea, ignore me.” You laughed and you both carried on looking through the book. What the hell did this mean?

It was late now, Seth walked you to your car, his body still close to keep you warm, the sea breeze now icy cold on your skin. You sighed, part of you didn't want to leave, it was the first kind of normal you'd felt in a really long time, even before coming to Forks. Life in your old place had been really hard, You didn't fit in anywhere, you could count your friends on one hand and you had a strange relationship with your bio dad. You thought things would get easier, Forks had the smallest population and yet you managed to find yourself smack bang in the middle of all this drama, you'd thank Bella for that later. You thought it would be easier living here, maybe you were wrong. 

You turned, looking at Seth as you reached your car, you were about to tell him you'd had a nice time, ask him if he wanted to hang out again soon, but you couldn't speak. The waves sounded louder, the air around you felt thicker and you couldn't breath. You could hear Seth’s muffled voice in the background somewhere and a pair of arms shaking you but in your head you were somewhere else entirely. 

Cloaks of black floating across the white pearlescent snow, rivers of red blood flowing all around. Wicked eyes staring into yours, and then pain.

You screamed and grabbed your head, it felt like someone had jabbed it with a white hot poker. Images flashed before your eyes, Volturi, Snow, Red, Carlisle. You gagged, so much blood, so much pain. Then, nothing. 

Your mind went dark, no images now, no sound, just the sharp ache as you feel your body shut down and hit the solid ground, then the coldness surrounded you. 

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Hey guys! I’m sorry it took so long for me to post another part! Hope you enjoy reading x Please comment if you'd like to be tagged! 

PT 5 -------- HERE

@sagittarius-flowerchild

@thechangingcolourswithinthewoods

@scream-kiwi79

@kettnerjanea

@caraboo15

[fruit-teeth]

Dumpster Diving (part 10)

Dee curled her little hand into a fist while she sucked away on her new pacifier, and Sniper couldn’t help but smile down at her.

“Do you like it, Dee?” He rubbed her cheek gently. “Sure was nice of Angelica to get that for you, huh?”

Dee only babbled and stretched her arms in response, and Sniper mused aloud, “I wonder when you’re finally gonna talk,”

She stared to squirm and make unhappy sounds, so Sniper laid her in her playpen and turned the TV on.

Sniper heard the sounds of footsteps heading towards the doorway, and he assumed it was Scout at first, so he began, “There’s a baseball game on if you wanted to watch that,”

“Thanks, but I’m not too interested in baseball right now,” a familiar, feminine voice behind him replied, and Sniper turned around in surprise.

Miss Pauling entered, and she stopped, surveying the scene before her. Her eyes landed on Dee in the playpen, and she turned back to Sniper.

“So,” she took a breath, resting her hands in her dress pockets. “When were you planning on telling me about this?”

Sniper fell silent. A knot of worry formed in his gut, and he swallowed. “I...I...I thought Engie was going to tell you,”

“Well, he didn’t,” Miss Pauling answered. “I had to find out from Scout, after I asked him what his mother was doing on the base. He said she was acting as a baby sitter for your child,” she looked back at Dee in the playpen, eyeing her with slight confusion. “I didn’t even realize you were seeing anyone. Is the mother around?”

Sniper let this question process, and then he quickly clarified, “Oh, no, she’s not mine. I mean...she is, but not blood-related. I found her, she’d been abandoned,”

Pauling just nodded. “Ah, I see,” she sat on the couch beside Sniper, crossing one leg over the other. “Can you tell me what you did after you found her? Did you try calling anyone?”

“No,” Sniper started feeling uneasy.

“Not even the Teufort orphanage? Anyone?”

Sniper couldn’t take it anymore, and he blurted out, “Aw, hell! Why in God’s name would I take her to the Teufort orphanage!? To be raised by a bunch of damn lunatics in a place where she probably won’t ever be adopted by anyone, and then they’ll kick her on the street when she’s 18!? Is that what you want!?”

Pauling put her hands up defensively. “Hey, hey! I never said I wanted that, okay?” She sighed. “Listen, I’m just saying that it was a little irresponsible to just take her, even if she was abandoned,”

“She was in a damn dumpster,”

“I know,”

“She was malnourished when I found her,”

“Sniper, please listen to me,” Pauling pleaded. “Look, I’ll let you keep her,”

There was a pause, and Sniper spoke back up, surprised. “Really?”

“Yes, but under one condition,” she stated. “If you’ll let me check the recent birth registry in Teufort, so we can find a potential mother,”

Sniper chewed on his lip, looking towards Dee. After a moment, he took a breath. “Okay, but the mum probably doesn’t want her back,”

“I know, if she abandoned the baby in a dumpster she probably doesn’t,” Pauling agreed. “But it’s the right thing to do. You also need to sign official adoption papers, but I can help you with that,”

“Okay,” Sniper swallowed, looking away.

Dee started to whimper in her playpen, and Sniper rose up to pick her up. He settled back on the couch with Dee in his arms, and she grabbed the collar of his shirt into her tiny fist, looking up at him.

Pauling leaned in a bit, looking at Dee’s face. After a moment, she commented, “She’s really pretty,”

“Yeah,” Sniper agreed, smoothing a hand over the small head. Demo had been right, Dee’s hair was coming in thick and dark.

“What’s her name?”

“I’ve been callin’ her Dee,” Sniper responded. “Not short for anything, I just liked the sound of it,”

Dee’s pacifier fell out of her mouth, and she started to whine in panic. Sniper retrieved it and quickly gave it back to her. “Oops. Here ya go, beastie,”

As Dee began sucking on the pacifier again, Pauling commented, “You’re really good with her,”

Sniper smiled. “Ah, thank you,” he adjusted his grip on the infant, and then turned to Pauling. “You wanna hold her?”

Pauling hesitated, and then held her arms out. “Uh...sure,”

Sniper gently placed Dee in Pauling’s arms, and Pauling held Dee for maybe a few seconds before handing her back over to Sniper.

“Um, I’m sorry,” Pauling retracted her arms, staring back down at Dee. “I’m not that comfortable holding kids, uh...”

“That’s okay,” Sniper assured. “I didn’t used to be that good with kids either, ‘least I never thought I was. Never really spent that much time with ‘em, y’know?”

“Oh, I spent so much time around little kids when I was a teenager,” Pauling sighed. “By that logic, I should love them, but I really...don’t,” she laughed a little. “My mom ran a daycare out of our house when I was younger,”

Sniper glanced up, surprised. “Really? Wow. What was that like?”

Pauling groaned. “It was like having little brothers and sisters constantly. I mean, I didn’t seen them a lot since I was at school, but they’d leave their toys everywhere and they’d get into my stuff. One time, some of the kids got finger paint on my old typewriter, and I got so angry that I told my mom I would move out if she kept letting the kids near my stuff,”

“Wow. Did you?”

“No. Well, not then. I moved out a couple years later but...” she trailed off, suddenly getting quiet. “I got kicked out...because of...stuff,”

“Oh,” there was a silence, and Sniper patted her hand gently. “I’m sorry to hear that,”

“It’s okay,” Pauling assured. “It was a long time ago. I haven’t seen my parents since,” she cleared her throat, looking back at Dee. “Anyway, I think it’s really interesting that you adopted a baby you found,”

Sniper raised an eyebrow. “Interesting? Why is it interesting?”

“Well...I mean, you were adopted,” Pauling shrugged. “I just think it’s cool that you adopted a kid yourself, years later,”

“I...” Sniper looked down at Dee. “Yeah...you’re right. Huh,” he hadn’t thought about that.

Pauling sniffed, standing up. “Oh, I almost forgot: I’m taking you guys out for dinner tonight at the diner, I hope that’s okay,”

“Yeah,” Sniper replied, letting Dee grab his finger. “Yeah, that’s fine. Can I bring Dee?”

“Of course,” Pauling nodded, smoothing her dress out before leaving the room. “I didn’t think you’d leave her behind here, anyway,”

“Yeah,”

As Pauling left the room, Sniper brought Dee up to his shoulder and hugged her close. “Yeah, Dee, I’d never leave you behind,” he murmured, rubbing her back lovingly. “Don’t worry,”

Dee cooed around her pacifier into Sniper’s ear, and Sniper planted a tiny kiss on her cheek.

[some-bitch-named-destyni]

his name....is not finn.

at like 2:40 a.m. i meet a guy on grindr. this guy hits on me in the typically angry and abrasive fashion i have designed my profile to solicit from men of a certain variety, and so we get to talking then wind up on camera, me expecting the same shit as usual....in between midnight meeting with strange men in unknown and unsafe places, i get my need to self destruct and overcome the mind numbing boredom of sociopathic lack of fear satisfied by getting even more men off over the internet on camera... and then, last night happened.

his name, is not finn.

its robert. but he gies by finn. finn has four les pauls, recording machines...the works an entire worling fucking studio. lives in middle tennesse but has been to atlanta many times bc HE ACTUALLY PLAYS MUSIC MIDTOWN EVERY YEAR SINCE 2013 im watching the shit behind him on camera, the house hes in, the guitars on the walls, the records hanging around the cords and amps and pedals... and hes alone. he lives alone, its his place. FINN IS 23. thats all. 23. he got into it all, along with a little band that came from Knoxville tennessee in 2009 named 10 Years...who if u follow rock, u have to know. this is a massivelt succsesfull mainstream alternative rock act. one of my favorite bands.

so here we are.

its five a.m. were still talking, not fucking.

about music and art and finns ideas on sexuality not being real.

odd for someone whos telling me they wanna grudge fuck me bc i have extintential philosophers words tattoos up my arm, and then jump from a well worded rape fanatasy back to intellectual artistic expresssionary approach debate and metjod, use, deploymwnt methods and how they more prolifically provide correct walls of sound they assail the sensations of emotions in pattern sufficient to stimulate a response.

and were talking, then its almost six.

finn has to leave for "work" soon.

hes recording one of the three bands he plays in this a.m.

here i am, on cam talking like were actually getting to know, and enjoy knowing who each other are, with this man

a sound engineer for 10 Years touring company.

Actually. what the actual fuck is happening right now.

he looks like youd expect, having seen these guys on t.v and all, hes tall...6'1 not super tall but taller.

hes stocky and has bushy curly short hair and a clean face, complete with black shirts, wrist bands, leather vest/whatever material that is... the typical rock guy look. and youngish. p young looking yeah.

and i could see it all his house was fucking unreal the shit in that house, the music, drum sets . bass processors, computers studio monitors mic stands... and just i forgot about itnall speaking to him for three and a half hours bc he thinks so fucking different from anyone ive met before him. completely challanges every basic assumption of society that he can.

but then has the self discipline to make this all happen by his age. has the real world common sence, the extraverted thinking to handle the nessesary tedium that makes it possible for this creative energy to become something, and be used and marketed and produce a way to live for himself.

he confounds me sideways. these two opposite people, one part myself, one part my opposite???

i almost tell myself he wants it worse then i do, but thats not it, it cant be it. id die for it.

i would do anything. id give anything, go anywhere, crawl to china. id lose anything, live anything, repeat this entire awful miserable unbearable horrific life ive had three times for it.

id do anything anything id go to the ends of the earth id forsake anyone, id suffer any loss to get just a moment of chance

a moment a single opportunity is all id need and i would light a fucking fire so large it would blind everyone involved.

so yeah i want this sound in my head out, and onto an album just as bad as him or anyone so its not that he wants it worse.

so what then? why is this kid able to be me, and then some...and also not be me enough to actually be living the life he is already?

is it bc its not real? is that it? make me feel better. tell me that i am valid since im tragic enough to

have this incredible talent and yet at the same time have it come from something inside so FUCKED that having it means never being known, never heard, never shine bright like the fact of my creative passion could, and be unlived, then die never having spoken to the world like i should have could have would have

bc im valid so. bc im better. make me feel better. tell me its bc i am REALLY fucked. not pretend fucked for the sake of fashion in rock. not forced or mimiced or copied. and thats what he is right bc if not he wouldnt be well enough to make this happen.

but then, i know its a lie.

i wanna believe it, but i know its a lie. a beautiful, perfect lie. bc i know if i got the part out of the way that cripples me, id still have the rest to write from and create from. and still be capable of what i have been since birth.

so...im lazy? am i lazy? internally, mentally lazy? like or just for aomeone who loves to take pride in their pain, am unable to take the pain of change inside that facilitates the construction of a life like finns... what is it? do i just watch finn now and wait for a secret thats never coming?

I HAVE A DREAM. A NIGHTMARE. ALL MY LIFE I HAVE HAD IT OVER AND OVER. IN IT I AM 70 YEARS OLD , THO ILL NEVER REALLY MAKE IT TO THAT AGE, THE IDEA REMAINS THAT MY LIFE HAS COME AND GONE AND IM GREY AND WRINKLED AND LIEING DOWN AS I GASP FOR BREATH AND THEN I SEE AROUND MY BODY FROM ABOVE

im alone. poor. broke. in beggars clothes. in the gutter, in the filthy city streets, in the cold in winter. im that homeless decay you pass for the smell and then i die there. and thats it. thats what i let happen. i let this go on unti, i ran out of time to change it, and i never did a rhing. never made it, never finally got the shit insode out, never began to burn bright, never started playing live, never recorded, never anything. the thing inside i have that i alone see the magnitude of, and would only have ever really shown to anyone through true sucsess, it never MEANT A F U C K I N G T H I N G A T A L L

now in this mornings call with finn, i begin to see that dream take shape in my reality. soon. its creeping with an slythe above its shoulder just behind me. im here alone like this. deluding myself that this little computer screen is somehow a substitute for a real relationship, delluding myself that i actually am this sad imaginary projection i want to be lercieved as in this fake little digital world. making due with this as if its even happening for real . as of anyone or any idea on this small machine in my lap is life, or love, or me, or actual.

but here where my body is, where i cant take a good picture of me to hide my age, where my personality disorders are, where i am weird and different , where i am an addict, where i am unconventional and do things others wont want near them bcmof the risk i bring to myself, where my body is. my real body .... here there is not a fucking person with or like me. i have some temporary help as i stumble foolishly through my fucked circumstamce from my family, that ofc is going aay everyday, as that nightmare i mentioned begins to take shape. bc they gonna die before me unless i take my death into my oen hands and then that nightmare i have will have shaped fully and begin looking me in the eyes.

so, here i am. 10 a.m.

fuck this guy.

hes sexy, he wants me, and hes my type as in in another life serious boyfriend material . no kids, no phobics, trans or homo, no issues seeing me as who i am, and then also my creative and intellectual counterpart. and hes not very far like a w hour drive. and alllllllll so it makes it feel odd bc he seems like the worst thing for me, that only this situation would develope the addition of feelings have no room for amidst my chaos... i need to be LESS in romance with ppl not fucking MORE... or have someone else establish those feelings for me either just either way..bad idea. and so fuck him

mean it fuck this guy.

fuck this finn, robert whatever and fuck his life

fuck his guitars.

like i needed this shit? i needed to see this? needed to know him? or to have him that, weird weird convo for that long ...the longest ive spoken to someone new in years at once , and not even wind up wanting me for a nut before he got off the vam etc... just fuck this shit.

but not that it seems like that with him, im a combo of not romantic at all, and already emotionally spoken for HARDCORE by aomeone i am trying and fightimg with all i can to stop, STOP being romantically attached to.. so.. no new fucked romance crap for me please. i mention it bc it seems like what happens to me usially, and for no other reason then that.

but as for what i am SURE OF WITH FINN..for tnat... F U C K him

reminding me that im more then shit, reminding me that im throwing away things thousands of people never get to have or would kil, to be able to do like i can. remininding me that im more then this 4 a.m. methamphetamine induced desperate attempt to distract myself from throwing myself away, and relive the pain again, once more, one ,ore gimme one more time always...always need one more sex session where i live out how my father never loved or accepted or appreciated me in my own head again, and keep that defining pain in Clear FUCKING FOCUS FOREVER. KEEP IT HERE. KEEP THAT PAIN HERE. RIGHT IN MY ARMS, CRADLE IT, CLOSE TO MY CHEST, CLOSE TO MY HEART , EMBRACE FEED NURTURE IT GROW IT, LET ITS POISON VINES GROW INTO MY SKIN AND FEED ME FILTH HAPPILY, always one more man, one more moment of disrespect, one more instamce of debasing myself to remind me why i ket myself almost die in a hospital last winter, why ill be sleeping in the cold wind again before spring, and why ill never walk right again or run at all. why im this old and sti,, here, remind me why im trapped by my that talent im so thoughtlessly wasting daily, and...

finn reminds me. fuck him.

he reminds me im doing it , in at least part, by choice.

he takes my excuse away. takes away my escape.

lies, inside lies, inside lies..... finn shows up at 3 a.m. when ur only awake to do things like throw away potential of this magnitude and destroy your human body.

invades my momemt of distraction from the truth of how responsible i really am for this now, and reminds me that

its still out there. the chance i wanted, the opportunity to get the music out and realize that potential ratner then become that 25 year nightmare i have in my future currently...

tne hope, the possibility, the chance to burn finally

burn bright like a star, and shine so hard i can be seen for miles and miles by millions of people

its stil, out there.

fuck finn. i didnt need to remember that.

bc i am what i predict, i am what i know i will do. i am what i will and i dont have that other thing he does. common sense, extraverted thinking, strength to rid myself the demons so i can at least get it going. i dont have it, and im to terrified to let go the crutch ive found that gets me by with the maniac mind i carry and endure. i am not him, and i can not gather the strength to face the world without my crutch so i can then rise to the talent i toss in the trash more each day. i wont even consider it. its all ive got here. its all ive found through all this bullshit life thats made it even half way tolerable. and weather for my own better, weather i be to weak to sacrafice, weather i be to cowardice to dare to even attempt, or be to patnetic to for once FOR ONE TIME TAKE SOME PAIN FOR MY BENEFIT RATHER THEN MY DESTRUCTION.... even if its all true and i am very very responsible for how this hapoens here...

its ok.

bc that just makes me real right? and ive got that. and ill have it now, the rest of the way, to finish the ride,

all of the ride. ill have it. the truth, il. have that i was so cursed and gifted by the same thing that it overcame itself in me

and il. have that genuine authenticity, il. have that close as i finish this ride. the rest of the way.

all of the way.

all the

FuCkINg wAy DOWN

down down down down the only place im gonna go

and il. see finn from underneath, and everyone else who heard of or knew me from below

where i will burn in hell

[andyelson]

Of all - 2

Leaving,  themselves breathless, Leati never mentioned his ex  She was his ex.   Why would you mention your ex, to your company's doctor, She probably already knows And knows, you have a child. But it still lingered in his mind, Meeting Addison was the best thing that made him come alive. He loved his daughter, he loved coming to pick her up and spending his time with her, But with Addison now in the picture how was he going to mention all this and still have a connection with her?

The morning of with leati couldn't of been more perfect. They woke up, to Leati's phone ringing, there was a few missed calls   two from his parents and one from his dreaded guilt of an ex. He noticed Galina's call and dreaded even her knowing his number but thought he better listen to the voicemail It  could have something to do with Joelle she was his daughter,   " Hi daddy, i have my dance show on the 6th mommy 

said you couldn't make it but i just wanted to ask if you could come maybe you could papa and gigi are coming i have 2 extra tickets i'm holding for you daddy i hope you can come, okay i cant wait to see you daddy bye daddy.".

He smiled, while he got up,  walked to the kitchen, and poured himself and Addison a cup of coffee 2 creamer in his and  hazelnut cream in hers he pulled his phone out and clicked on G's name  It rang only 2 rings and she answered, "Hey Joe how are you How are things going?" He sighed and said “Hi doing great actually can i talk to jojo? she replied with  "Sure, i'll get her.." He said Thanks as Addison came from the room "Morning baby", as he kissed her cheek. she sat in his sweats and her tube top with her hair, in a french braid. "Who you on the phone with babe?" She asked. He mouthed JoJo. as she smiled, she really wanted to get to know her  she really liked that Leati was a great dad and you could see it through photos he would show and how he spoke ofher. "Hi Baby Girl,  hows daddys little girl doing? Yeah. i got your message what's this dance show your doing?  JoJo was smiling, as she began to explain "Well, daddy i'm in the lead and i have the biggest part I climb on the ladder like you do sometimes but i don't fall off, I only have to put the star on the tree and then dance around the tree, I've been practicing real hard and i think i got it down. And we're going to be singing some christmas songs too daddy. So can you come? please please please as joe laughed at her begging, he said he would be silly to of missed the performance and he said you better hold those two tickets because daddy will be there front and center!Jo Jo said " HES COMING HES COMING YES YES YES  I KNEW IT!"  joe broke up the excitement and asked JoJo,  to pass the phone to mommy, with that Galina was back on the phone. "Yes Joe?  she said. Joe then  began " Yeah i'll be there. i hear my mom and dad are coming, with Sai"  Joe's neice  "Uh galina, i'll be bringing someone with me I'll come by tomorrow around 12 to pick Jo Jo up.   Galina interupted him, and said "Someone".  Whos the someone Joe?  Joe said you'll meet her tomorrow. I'm actually going to the gym, now so i'll see  you guys tomorrow. tell JoJo to pack some pajama's because i don't have any here at the house for her. she takes them all back to your place. Galina said " will do and see you tomorrow thanks Joe.".

Joe and Addy met, Jon seth, trinity, and Jackie Haas, Jackie's husband charlie was a wwe performer in the late 80's 90's and the attitude era, but due to a injury that casued him to end his career he became a trainer and a had a fond bond with Leati "Hey guys, What are we working on during this round" Joe said. as Jackie, trinity and Addy all watched the guys, and caught up.  Charlie and Joe hugged along with jon, the boys we're too much when they hugged they all looked like they we're 12 year olds on the football field Jey  was home due to having the flu so Jon and trinity were out on the road Jey would  be coming back in a week. "So, Jey got the casual bathroom ups aye uce?" Joe said as he was working his biceps,   Jon replied with a " Yea uce it got bad 2 nights ago he called me, and said he wasn't coming to tv and he was laying on the bathroom floor, he was telling me it felt like  his college years were coming to haunt him" They both laughed and knew how wild he was in his college years, Joe laughed and said he'll be back uce, no need to fret. We'll be teaming on Raw i got your back uce Jon never was away from his brother, they're twins when a twin isn't with another they're not the same. They finished their work out as the girls we're looking through bridal magazines, and cosmos Joe looked over,  the bridal magazine, and  picked a dress and  thought to himself she would look so good in this, but it'd look better on the floor, he felt he was in a daze of looking into his future, Addi  was speaking " Joe do you think we can all go to the mexican place down  the road for drinks the girls and i we're thinking of going. Joe are you listening to me? " Joe finally came back, and said " yeah yeah that sounds great. I am down for a drink babe...". They all left the gym and met everyone at the restaraunt.

Pulling into the  La Hacienias Addison  couldn't help but think of her wedding she loved looking at bridal magazines, getting ideas she had a pinterest account souly for her wedding her pinterest  board titled "Someday" had over 2k items of wedding bliss, from dresses to flowers to food, to even a groom which she had a photo of Leati they all  went inside and grabbed a table, by the bar the waiter came by  with a drink menu and they all ordered, Joe and Addison we're very flirty  Jon and trinity were busy looking around at the place to care, Charlie and Jackie we're discussing how the business was changing,  to break the romance/flirtmance up Charlie asked Joe how Paul was treating him "  He's been really great, Char he really helps us out  hes been so busy down in FL. but if we ever need someting personal/show wise he's there I really don't know how he has time to be a father/husband/and a director he does a great job thats for sure. And steph well she's just been so nutoriing. Really she's like  everyones mother, Trinity spoke up and added, Steph just  has this soul that is pure, I know when i injured my knee I spoke a lot with steph, she really reached out when i was down and out and  didn't think i'd ever come back.  Addison just smiled she really didn't know Paul/Stephanie, but heard great things! She's a nurse after all, and she didnt have too much to deal with Paul/Stephanie.. paul isn't wrestling much and stephanie quit after 2001 so she didn't get  to, treat paul or stephanie due to her not being involved in the business much. Dinner was great, Leati and paul talked about upcoming events, the girls got involved with make up and lifetime movies and shopping” Addison, we have to go shopping for your wedding party! It's a must The bachelorette party is going to be off the hook  you could tell by trinity's voice she was so excited to plan it Addison smiled, and said she could help there was no way she was going to let her not she wouldn't stop talking about it. Her and Jackie we're going to help set up and take addison shopping, But there was no ring! why are they so anxious for a wedding when she didn't even have ring she thought to  herself "do these girls know something? After the talks and dinner and the many consumed drinks paul and stephanie, excused themselves first they had mom/dad duties in the morning and aurora their oldest had school in the morning, they left and soon after did the rest. Addison decided to shoot a text to stephanie while they we're still at the restraunt, waiting for their take out meals and dessert, "Hey steph, it's addy. While i'm all into looking for bridal things, here i'm just not sure what its all meaning I have yet to meet his daughter, and his ex? and Am i ready for marriage steph, i don't even know what i'm thinking i need your help do you know something? I'll talk to you soon steph I'm sorry i bothered you with all of this. They got their food, and paid  the bill. Leati excused himself, and went to the bathroom, she smiled up at him and said "I'll wait right here for you, he smiled and kissed her cheek. I wont be long if you know what i mean?" she laughed and said "Go to the bathroom, Joe i want to go." he excused himself and for what felt like forever he  vanished she started to worry, as she started looking around, Joe was back " Everything okay baby? he asked..  Addi smiled, and said yes everythings good I was just thinking,  about upcoming events, and the holidays and  other things .. Joe smiled and said, " me too, Addy me too. They soon left the restraunt and made their way back home. Addy interrupted and suggested they go christmas shopping soon.  Joe said, he agreed but he had his daughter's holiday program to attend too " I have something to tell err rather than tell, ask you Joelle has this christmas program with her school, and  my family is going to be there including Galina, And well Joelle was pretty excited that i was coming, and I have to go pick the tickets up at Galina's and i think i'll ask for Joelle, tonight I was just wondering, if you were  game to meet her and to come along as my date to her program. If not its okay I can drop you off, at the house and do all this afterwards” She smiled and said " I have waited for this day, I do want to meet her, I want to see her I want to take her shopping, we need to pick daddy some stuff out together as "Girls" " He laughed, and said " Ohhh boy  picking daddy things out aye?  Daddy has all he needs with his girl and his daughter. But i guess, we could use some new things for this ol' beaut of a truck. I can pick  out things and then vanish, and go meet Santa". Addison, Laughed and said "Joe you are too old for santa, but sure.. are we getting close, to Galina's house?? I think you should call her and tell her your on your way." Joe nodded and at the next light he called her.

"Yeah Galina, Hey its me Joe. I Uh was in the neighborhood, and was just going to stop by and get those tickets and uh ask if i could take JoJo, and get some idea's for her for the holidays. Sure i can keep her for the weekend. Not a problem Yeah you have a good time with your family, This works out for the best. I'll be there in fifteen minutes, make sure she has her pajama's she's only got one pair, and i know it's getting colder out, may need to buy her some new ones. I'll be by soon i'll see you when i get there Bye.  Bye Joe".  Well looks like we're gonna have an extra on our hand she's really good shes a good girl manners are perfection smart as a whip looks like me  a lot ha! Shes so smart,she wants to be a doctor when she grows  up so i'm sure she'll be bringing her doctor kit she loves helping people Addy she reminds me so much of you I cannot wait for you to see her. Ah here we are, the house was nice kinda small but perfect for Galina and Joelle  no more, than 2 seconds the truck was turned off, Joelle ran out the door, "Daddy Daddy Daddy, Oh Daddy  Hi Daddy, Daddy! " Joelle smiled and was so excited to see him.  Joe smiled and hugged his daughter Daddy missed you too Hey daddy has a friend with him  and I want you to meet this person, you want to meet them? jojo smiled, and said "Daddy,  is it Santa? Or Rudolph? Or is it Jey Daddy its jey!!!" no baby girl Jey is home, he's sick.  but you'll see him soon  lets get in the truck, get your seat belt on fasten it in tight. Joelle, smiled and said "Hi. I'm Joelle i'm his baby. who are you? are you santa's helper. She smiled and said " I'm your daddy's friend. My name is Addison  I am a nurse, So i go and travel and make sure people like your daddy are taken well care of."  Joelle smiled and said, " I like your name. and your pretty hair. I have long hair too sometimes my mommy braids it like yours, but she isn't very good at it. It always comes out after lunch and then i have to put it in a pony tail sometimes." "And daddy can't braid at all! so i just wear it in my clips as these, she showed Addi the barettes with little bears on them, "Oh i had those when i was a little girl. They work so well."  Joe smiled, and said " Heyyy no hating on daddys braids. he gave you all that hair when you we're born" they all laughed as they pulled in the mall, Joelle was excited because she saw a sign as they we're turning in, that Santa was there. "Daddddddy Daddddddddy. Santa is here. Santa is here!" Joe laughed and found a spot, as they parked He asked "Did you want to see him?" Joelle said " Yes Yes I have to I have to ask him for a few things. Plus i wrote him a letter i need to know if he got it."  Joe  said "well, lets go find out sha'll we." They walked in the mall, the mall was packed it was 7:00 and the mall was huge and packed.  Joe held his girl's hands as they enterted the mall, Joe was taken back by how packed the mall was,"Joelle, you need  to stay close to me and addy okay it is busy in here and we don't want to lose you. Santa's line is long so lets go look at limited too for you, to see if you like anything daddy will buy you some things, so you can have them at his house okay and addy can help you pick some stuff out. is that okay"? Joelle nodded but she kept looking at santa's shop hoping he would be there, for awhile.  While in the store, they found  christmas jammies some red plaid two piece and red plaid night gown. it was nice, because Addy had the same 2 piece  pajama set as the red buffalo plaid, they found some elf slippers that joelle was excited about, Joelle did you want anything else?  from here   she went right over to the bookshelf, and picked up the "Elf on the shelf. "I Wanted this, Momma said I couldn't get it because it wasn't good. But i want this, because Parker has it at his  house and He said he filled up the bathtub with marshmellows and was in the tub when he woke up he couldn't believe how silly he was being. And its a storybook you can read it to me daddy and keep it at your house  but if you dont want to i guess i can get frosty the snowman book. No Joelle we can get that book, that sounds fun. Lets get it, and get the matching plush so you can keep it with you, I  think Addy is finding you another plush so you can keep one at your moms and then one at my house sound like a deal little one? She smiled and  nodded “Hey baby girl, i think we should get, to another store, what do you think about going to old navy,  Addi agreed plus they had a sale. Joelle smiled, and said " As long as he doesn't leave We have to see him. but okay we can do that store."  They walked into old navy and Addi and joelle went over to the kid section to pick out some outfits "Is there anything you want for christmas, Addi". Joelle asked  Addison,  smiled and said, "I have all i want, sweet girl we're just picking a few things for you for your dads hosue so he has some outfits for you to wear. What do you think of this blue plaid shirt and these blue jeans.. She liked the outfit She went over to the long sleeve tops, “I really like this reindeer one and the snowman one, but i don't want to get to much so can we maybe put the jeans back. Addi smiled and said, " No No we can get you those too sweetie, you like both the reindeer and snowman one any others you like sweetie we can get them".   Joelle really looked around, for what seemed to be forever but she didn't want anything else, She wanted to go see santa. As Joe walked in, he was carrying a little box as joelle noticed the box she asked what it was, as joe said its a gift for grandma, I picked out Daddy are you sure its for grandma. Joe changed the subject " You got everything from here okay? Joelle and Addi smiled and said "Yep. we're checking out right now. as they left the store they  noticed santa's line wasn't too long about 10 kids. Joe asked Joelle if he wanted to get in line, and see him and she replied with  " Yep. right on it daddy!" Joe laughed as she took her jacket off, and handed it to him, Joelle wore blue overalls  with a little white long sleeve shirt with boots, she stood in line and made some friends  " I'm Joelle, I want a doll house.. And the kitchen set." Another little girl said she wanted the same thing, and a little boy wanted a teddy bear, and a nerf gun. pretty soon Joelle got her turn. She was next, As  she got the motion, to go up, Joe ran to the other side, and got a photo  of her approaching santa.  Santa, asked  " And what's your name pretty girl.  I'm Joelle Anoai'. I  wrote you a letter 2 weeks ago i was making sure you got it, because i wanted something special but i think i got it, or they got it.  but I do want, a doll house and a cabbage patch doll. but if you can't find the cabbage patch doll, i'll take a new kitchen set. :) she smiled and santa said well of course we will see what we can come up with for you. lets take a great photo, and Joelle you promise to be a good girl, and do wht your daddy  and mommy say okay.  She agreed and said  your reindeer, will have carrots, and you will have  cookies and milk when you come to my daddys. If you can just come to daddys that will be okay, My mommy wont be home so i'll be at daddys and  papa and nana's you know where they live right santa? Santa nodded I got them in my memory." The picture was taken and joelle was off,  saying goodbye to santa as santa said goodbye to her, Joe came up from the side.  "Hey Joelle, can you go over to the ice cream shop over there, See Addi, waving I have to ask santa something important okay? can you go over there with her i'll be over there soon... Okay daddy.. i will."   Joelle went running over, to Addi and got a small chocolate sundae as  Joe was talking to santa, he asked if it was  too soon for a proposal, as santa  sat and thought, of an answer, he smiled and whispered " I think if its in your heart, and you know its right. then it so is" Joe smiled, and said "Thanks Santa. I appreciate it. I'll be a good boy and i'll try to eat my veggies" Joe and santa laughed as the santa helper, asked "did you want a photo?" Joe shrugged his shoulders, as Addi and Joelle we're waiting for him   Can i get a family one? Joe asked.  Santa chuckled, his laugh and said  "Oh Of Course." Joe stood behind santa's chair with Addi to his left and Joelle sat on his lap the photo came out very nice as he thanked santa, they left. Anyplace else my girls want to go? Joelle  said "TOYYYYYYYY STORE" with a big grin. Joe smiled, and said  real quick. and then we have to let Addi pick one okay. Joelle then said, "We can skip that store. Addy where do you want to go?"  Addi smiled and said, "It is getting pretty late i'm good i'm going to the store with Naomi and Jackie later in the week, i can get some stuff then. Lets head home soon, but if you want we can go to the toy store,  Joelle, smiled and said " i'm looking for this snow white barbie. I saw it once but i can't remember  if they had it, Joe was getting tired. and didn't know how these girls could shop all day and not get tired but he was happy his daughter, was with him and she was having a blast. "I FOUND  HER I FOUND HER I FOUND HER. ADDY DADDY ADDY DADDY. I FOUND HER.  daddy look at her she is so pretty. this is what i want to show santa, can we  take a photo and go show it to him before we leave. Joe laughed and said, Sure " Smile big Joelle. ready 1- 2 - 3"  Okay we got it" joe said Okay daddy,  lets go back and show santa, so he knows where to get it. common daddy. as she was running out of the store, Joe yelled " JOJO! you wait, right there. and wait for daddy. you know better. now come on we can come back,  later in the week, and show santa this photo. You almost got taken, JoJo  daddy would of lost you, and it would of made daddy sad." Joelle started to cry as  she got in trouble she was scared, Joe picked her up and held her as he said " Daddys not mad at you, you just can't go running out of the store like you did, someone could of grabbed you. Lets go home, you had a long day we can get some chicken nuggets at daddys and get some rest. Shhhh it's okay, daddys not mad he still loves you." She smiled while, joe carried her,  it wasn't long but Joelle fell asleep in the truck on the way home as Addy and joe made small talk about their day and their days to come.

Joelle Room:

** AT Joe's House** Joe carried  Joelle in the house,  and  took her to her room. Her room was decorated, in light purple and pink, her room was just off, to the left of Joe's. toy galore you talk about toys from the left side right side she had it all. Joe had to wake her up,  to get her into her pajama's. " Come on baby girl, lets get you into your pajama's  which ones do you want to wear," Joe asked. as Joelle picked her Elf onsie she asked joe if he had gotten the elf on the shelf yet? He said he had thought he had it but he'll check in awhile. she smiled and said  it was so awesome she began to climb in bed as she settled in she was telling Joe about it, " He watches you daddy, well not you but me he watches everything... and then he goes back to santa and says all what you do good or bad  but you have to name it. he doesn't have a name. " Joe said what would you name it then JoJo? JoJo was starting to get sleepy, " I don't know what to name him daddy just you gotta think about it. ask god what his name should be. we will find him a name daddy.. " and just like that she was out like a light,  Joe smiled and chuckled to himself at what joelle said before she  fell asleep, that was what he loved about being a dad was just to see life through her eyes. as he was getting up to walk out, Addison walked in, and admired her room " It's so pretty, and so spacious, i love the paintings and the little hand print of prayer hands, Joe her room is perfect for her" Addison whispered,  Joe nodded and said his mom found the prayer hands a month before she was born and gave it to us the day of her birthday, it was really special.  Joe and Addison, walked out of her room and downstairs, to the living room where " its a wonderful life" was being played on the t.v. " Ohh my favorite movie ever! Joe can we watch it, theres a replay coming soon! Addison said, as she sat on the couch, Of course we can Addison. I just wanted to change clothes, something comfy, They both slipped from the living room, into joe's room as joe closed the door behind him she started taking her boots off as her leggins came off joe couldn't help but admire the black lace thong that she was supporting, as she walked around in his room, with her black bra and black thong Joe wanted her right then and there who cared about a movie, it'll  be on for at least a straight week, as Joe flipped on the remote on the bedside table the t.v. read "Turning LR off" to confirm press OK". joe pressed Ok as the downstairs t.v. was being turned off. Joe flipped on the other remote, to the fireplace that he had in his room as it began cackling, Addy came out  with a fresh face without all her make up on, she was  slipping on his black sweats and was going to get just her t-shirt on "No, No. don't wear anything, I uh the t.v. quit working i got a message on my t.v. said the cable was out for the night, Uh sorry about that i know you we're wanting to watch that but i'm pretty sure i saw the movie was coming on tomorrow or the next night. She laughed and gave Joe a look, of " HAA your funny, joe quickly capitlized her look with  one of his own that included a kiss, in the mist of the kiss, he broke the kiss, and suggested they lay down in bed they quickly got under the covers as the heated sheets, we're warming it was so nice to be in a room with warm sheets, Just then Joe started nipping at her neck, slowly down her chest removing her bra Joe heard his bedroom door crack open as joe mumbled "Oh shit, she never does this. never" Joelle we're sleeping, what do you need sweetheart? Joe said.. Joelle said, " I needed a glass of water, but i can't reach the glass in the potty i'll go back to bed and wait." Joe looked over his shoulder and noticed, Addi laying in bed, propped up smiling watching him be a dad, tryig to get action with his RN girl and here comes his daughter in, She shrugged her shoulders and laughed quietly.. Stay in here don't get ahead of yourself No touching, that's my job little one.  After i assist this "little one". "Joelle i thought you had some water in here, no daddy i'm all out. I was thirsty. What we're you doing with addy in there daddy.  "Joelle, daddys business isn't yours. I was showing her my shower she wanted to take a shower, the downstairs shower isn't working She wanted a shower,  here's your water all filled up  with love. don't drink  a lot. I'll keep it over here on the other side, okay I love you Joelle. get some sleep please! " Joe said as  he turned around to leave. Joelle said " Daddy you love her, don't you. I know you love her. hehe daddy has a girlfriend. daddy has a girlfriend daddy and andi... Joe cut her off. Joelle Anaoi' go to sleep now!   she laughed, and said okay  gnight daddy.  as joe left he shook his head,  and looked up  and thought to himself " this is too early, for her to be like this, god please make it stop shes my little girl. shes not ready for boys. hell i'm not ready for that. oh please." as he came back to his room,  he chuckled and said " You should of handled that, i got busted because she knows everything about us.  she  sang the tune, of K-I-S-S-I-N-G in the tree song. to daddy and you.  addison laughed and said " thats too cute, but this GF needs more K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  as joe's eyes darkened he grunted as he got back in his bed, he hopped out, and  did a little jog taunt to his door, to open it to make sure Joelle wasn't planning an attack, *We're good* he smiled, and shut his door but just in case,  god and the door company invested in locks. they're super he said. Joe climbed on top of the bed, and began licking Addi's stomach trailing her stomach and her, hips with nips, bites, and licks   he saw, she was still in her underwear but you see these little things, these little things sweetheart Doc  as he winked “Doc i'm sorry these have to be away,  as he twisted them with one pull they we're off and discarted, "Ohhhhhh Joe."  Joe was now busy, but could respond in short  responses, “Ohhhhhhh Addi, you're so wet already how did i get lucky with you being this wet everytime we've been together,  Joe got up, he didn't even know how he could even stand but he stood up,  Addison  got on her knees and, undid his shorts as he pulled her hand away she was carried to the bedroom door, as he  trailed his hands around hers up and down a few times  her breath was becoming more rapid, her eyes were filling with lust and that haze, ohhhh that haze she and that haze have a love/hate bond  soon her hands went up, above her head, he whispered, "leave them there, don't move you move when i tell you to move, and if you do you will be punished." she nodded and  even sooner that her hands went above  her head his hands had a grip  like no other, he began to nip even more at her neck, as his tongue began going to work she tried so hard to not move, he moved her to his bathroom, as she wasn't drunk make it  known she was not drunk, but the way he was behind her, and walking her felt like she was drunk, they made it to the bathroom as joe left the door open he had her face the mirror, as he began rubbing and massaging her tits she arched her head back onto his chest as he massaged her small breasts leaving severe neck kisses,  more moans, and groans from both of them  made the bathroom, air fill with lust  She took charge and made joe groan, knowing he wasn't in control she sat, on the edge of the sink, and  pulled joe towards her in one fast move, " Addy what do you want now. tell me what you want baby,"  She moaned and grabbed joes throbbing cock,  and said " THIS. THIS is what i fucking need."  with one swift move they knocked over everything that he had on the counter her head tipped back on the mirror,  making a noise, " You okay your head.."  she laughed and said,  of course. as she licked her lips  and brought her finger up to her mouth  she sucked her finger, and began to finger herself as joe began rubbing his cock, he teased her, and said "lets see who can get each other off first.. don't stop no matter what i do, or how much i wanna just bury myself inside you you know how much this right here, what you're doing turns me the fuck on. come on your almost there, almost i know  how much you like to pleasure yourself but my god those fingers going in and out of you make me want to  put  this throbbing cock i keep gliding over and over with, is getting jealous that fingers are going in and out of you, LEATIIIIIIIIII please please please, Leati laughed his dark laugh and knew that was his time, without a warning he plowed into her making her hit her head again, " you good baby.. baby you good. Joe asked because of her head hitting the mirror, "JUST FUCK ME JOE. we'll fix the damage after we fix the pleasure.  how do you  go from screaming my  leati name to joe?  it's a fucking habit, joe please harder joe harder come on i'm dying for you thats it oh thats it yes oh please oh myy god this is better than the first time, Joe buried his head into her neck  his breathing was rapid he grabbed her as quick as he could and made a B line  from the bathroom to the bedroom, as she was thrown on the  bed the sheets we're so warm not like they needed the warmth the bathroom was recovering from the heat that they had in there Joe flipped her over,  and with one motion,  he was  in deep,  addy moaned more and more like she never moaned before,  her ass never felt so good, he buried himself deeper into her  as she held on to sheets, he had control, the more  thrusts he had inside her the more moans she discovered " LEATI JOSEPH please don't you dare stop, don't you ever dare stop oh my god please i' need you oh baby i'm coming i' i i Joe, Joe please. faster joe faster come on, Oh Joe please.... and with that last please she was gone, she fell over  gasping for  air  “baby that was so good but because you pleased me it's time for your pleasing, lie back joe and don't move if you move i'll punish you just as you punished my  ass understand sir? Joe laughed, and said “got it doc. give me my medicine, don't you know  i have a lingering. OHHHHHH god. okayy- doc right there is where i'm in pain. mhmmmm She grabbed his  dick, and began massaging it with her tongue,  bobbing up and down with her mouth he began twitching inside her she  reached up towards his, stomach as he grabbed her hand they held hands for a moment as joe began to lick her fingers anything to express his gratitude due to her excellent check up of his shaft, as she pulled it out of her mouth the juices were flowing from both of them, as she licked the sides clean she began to play a little southern regions, as joe called them his " regions" she grabbed them and began fondling them as joe threw his head back, he was gone he didn't know where he went but he knew he was gone. as she began to put them in her mouth he woke right back up, and moaned "Ohhhh my god please is this real life, Oh doccccccccc your so gentle with these, you must want to stick around, to stick them around that pretty mouth.  please please please mmmmmm that's it. oh my god. he was already coming again right along side, of his ejaculation she was coming just at the sight of him he really was beautiful when he had an orgasm something  no magazine could ever capture. as they both collapsed on the bed  Joe layed what seemed to be forever motionless, but satisfied definitely satisfied Addison layed there rubbing his pec, and chest he rolled over to nuzzle her neck as the clock read 4:15AM they both fell asleep. knowing they had a busy night the next night/day  Joelle would wake them up bright and early knowing her they fell fast asleep.

** the next day**

8:30 am. " HI DADDY. good morning. Joe opened one eye,  that wasn't really open it was half open on a struggle bus somewhere downtown. Addi was sleeping next to him holding his hand, snuggled up on his back side.  He thought to himself. * how did that door get unlocked, when him and addi fell right asleep and knowing how addi was she wasn't walking, and knowing him he wasn't capeable to even breathe, let alone walk to the door.  man joelle was smart for her age! “JoJo daddy and Addi are tired its 8:30 baby girl do daddy a favor, and go watch a movie. the t.v. is out so you have to  watch a movie,  Daddy what are you guys doing?  JoJo we're sleeping. we'll be up in 10 mins.  go downstairs, and watch a movie and daddy and addi will make you breakfast in a little bit  go grab a banana  and start on that okay.”  Joelle said she would be back in 10 mins, and she would go watch frosty the snowman. As Joe felt addi's feet brush up on his, he smiled in his sleep,  JoJo then  left the room with the door wide open, "She's really cute Joe. she always wakes you up this early? as joe laughed  " Oh yeahhh. all the time, welcome to daddy hood. doc  I liked that massage thing ya did there, kinda turned me on doc.  Addy laughed and looked at her phone its 8:35, no messages from the girls nothing from work maybe they don't need me today Joe rolled over on his back, as he was just laying there sprawled out,  " thats cause this patient needs a little more work, she laughed at him you need more work patient? whats the new diagnosis, sir? Addy asked smiling  he began " your really a good doctor, mam'm, and you have helped me out in ways that i would never know could ever happen I think i need a nother round of pumping. something just isn't clicking down there, mind if you check?"   Is the soldier still sore sir? "Oh like you wouldn't believe, mam'm. I'm working hard to get it worked out every night, and day but something just happens when this woman comes near it, it just sparks and says " LETS GO"! march on. you know". addi was laughing, “oh Joe heres what you do for that, go to that bathroom, over there it looks a little messy, from another escapade you had but theres a shower, you just slightly pull on it, like this as she demonstrated his eyes tightend  and you just keep your hand moving up and down on it, you'll feel better in no time do you need a little more demonstrating, "ohhhhh i'm. i'm... his breath came in and out, like tides.  "DADDDDYYYYYYY frosty is over.  its been more than 10 mins COME ON DADDDDDDDY. " JOELLE, he grunted I'm..... I'm .... OHHHHH.  ohhhhh. Addddddyyyyy please. please. ohhhhhhh as her mouth came down on his he moaned and came harder than he ever came. ohhhhh myyy god  i swear i thought she was going to  come running up here.  daddy and addi are coming downstairs in 5 minutes Joelle." Joe finally said.  Joe wore his tapout sweatpants and  his roman reigns empire grey tank top with his hair pulled in a bun. as addi  was already downstairs, she poured Joelle a bowl of lucky charms, as she was eating sharing her stories with Addy. " You must like my daddy  a lot he likes you a lot. I can tell. he just always says he loves you to me so i know he does, I just hope you like us too. OH ADDI  i have a christmas program tonight, i have the lead role and we're doing some good songs and, I was hoping you could come. because i didnt know if daddy asked you yet but i would just like you to come. can you? Addi smiled and as she began to say  she would, Joe came in looking so damn good she could take him right there.  "What are my girls  talking about? Joe poured himself a cup of coffee, " Daddy i asked Addi to come to  my christmas program tonight. think she  can come? "  Joelle took another bite of lucky charms, as she did Joe pulled  addi close to  his body she looked up at him, and felt everything that was begging to be felt, Addi finally said, " If your daddy asks me Joelle i'll be there, okay sweetheart"? joelle, looked at her Joe with big eyes ( like the ones, like when your friend asks you that big question about a date and if you guys kissed)   " Well, Girls i do have an extra ticket. Addi would you like to be my date, tonight? Addi said of course Leati. as Joelle smiled and swallowed her cereal she said YAY!!!  joe grinned his big cheesy grin,  and said "YAYYY" As Addi had her hair braided again,  Joelle admired her hair and asked for her hair to be braided too.  Addison was enjoying her time, with Joelle  she braided her hair and got her dressed, as Joelle noticed her ring finger empty  " didn't daddy give you a ring yet." Addi laughed a nervous laugh, and said Joelle we're just dating i don't know if your daddy will ask me.  Joelle nodded as she got her teeth brushed, Joe was upstairs getting dressed he wore black slacks and a red polo t-shirt. " Hey Joelle, I'm gonna go upstairs and get ready, don't get that dress dirty okay! we will be leaving soon okay, finish watching frosty and then we can go!" Addison told her as she ran upstairs just dressed in Joe's sweats and a tshirt from georgia tech as she reached, the top of the stairs, joe was standing there ready to go downstairs, she almost ran into Joe  lucky he was there to catch her, "I'm going to get dressed Joe, Shes' already dressed she looks so good! so grown up. go and see her, I need to get dressed on my own, I have my own plan for you that i need you to see when i come down."  Addi found her black  long dress with pearls her father bought her when she was 12 she never could wear them though in her work profession but finally could wear them, she only wore them a few other times but tonight was a good choice to wear them, She wore her black silk boy short underwear, and her pasties because she couldn't find her bra anywhere cussing under her breathe, "Damnit Leati Damnit where do you discard my clothes when your so heated for me". she came downstairs, putting on her black louis vutton heals are we ready to go guys,  Leati, swallowed what seemed to be what happene earlier, when he saw her, "Addison Jess you look stunning, my god Leati whispered into her ear" She smiled  and whispered i'd be more appealing to you, if i knew where you put my bra. He smiled and said " I'll show you later with a wink" as they got in the truck, it was 5:15 Joelle had to be at the school by 5:45. show didn't start til 6:30. JoJo can you share with me what your going to be singing, daddy wants to hear a piece, she laughed and said " you have to wait daddy to hear them when you do."  They got to Joelle's school, in record time JoJo walked in, and was greeted by her friends Lani, Laci, Karissa, and Abbey GIRLS!  GIRLS! Joe called out turn around, let me get a picture As they turned around JoJo yelled out ADDY come take a picture, " ITS  THE GIRLS!" Joelle said  as Addy  knealed behind the girls they all smiled as Joelle said " thats my dads girlfriend, shes  helping my dad a lot with his job.  all the girls said she was pretty. as they made it  to Joelle's classroom, she showed Joe where she sat, She sat with 2 girls and 2 boys, Tate Dibiase, and Camden John. Tate's family just moved  to the state so tate was new, Joelle took a liking to him and protected him from everyone. Tate was very shy but really liked camden and Joelle, In walked Ted Dibiase with his wife Kristen and their son Carter Luke. Ted called out, HEY JOE! man it's nice to see you again how have you been, hows galina.” Ahh Ted, we're no longer together been  that way for awhile, i'm with Addison now shes right over there with  Joelle looking at her book, Oh man you got her! wow thats awesome, sorry to hear about galina and you.  thanks man, it's alright we're good were friends.Said Joe  Hey babe, i want you to meet someone, As Addison turned around  her eyes widened  and said " TED DIBIASE" my god it's so good to see you. Joe was taken back by  how exciting she was about this man, You two know each other.  "yeah yeah, we graduated from med school. but i  didn't make it i became a pastor.  Medical stuff  just didn't pan out for me like it did for addy. Man  you got a good one here, Leati. you really did! both of you are lucky!  "All parents please make your way to the  auditorium, All parents please make your way to the auditorium." the teacher said, as Joe waved good bye he grabbed Addison's hand as Ted and kristen followed out as they said good bye to tate.  Man it's really good to see you,  lets hang out sometime, Ted said to Joe as they made their way into the  auditorium,  Joe found his parents, and waved to  Ted's parents and mentioned to his parents Ted's kid goes here dad? Sika ,  and patricia smiled and said yeah, joe yeah.  they we're front row  3 or 4 rows over sat ted and kristen and their family. The performance was cute and Joelle did so good with her main role  she was a natural on that ladder, she got to the very top, placed  the  star on the tree and began singing 'Oh christmas tree' on top of a ladder as all the kids, sang around the tree, putting on ornaments on the tree.   as the show was coming to a close Leati felt something deep inside his heart and looked over at addison as she was watching all the kids, he grabbed her hand massaged the top of her hand with his fingers and smiled at her when, she looked over he whispered "I Love you Addi I do I just hope you know it" She smiled and said kissed his hand, and said she loved him too. As the teacher, came up to the podium, to thank all the students, and parents for their hardwork, the program was over and Leati looked around for Galina, "She's gotta be here, she has to be. She wouldn't miss our daughters program. Joelle, ran around with her friends, when she ran into Joe  " Daddy did you like my program, Did you see me climb the ladder i did a better job than you did. but you still do a good job daddy." as she laughed, Joe smiled and laughed and said JoJo you are one of the best, and  that ladder was perfection! but JoJo where is your mom? did she come, i need to talk to her, about  you spending a few nights with me. "Oh yes shes over there, talking to Ms Jansen, " He put her down, and said go see papa and gram,  as she went running, she yelled for tate to follow her, "COME ON TATEEEEE try and catch me!!!!!" she yelled,  Joe found, Galina, & Ms Jansen  H-Hi-Hi, Ms Jansen Galina, G when you get done, I'd like to talk to you about keeping Joelle for a while longer" when you can,  he thanked ms jansen for the great performance, and for being a great teacher to joelle Ms Jansen smiled and said she appreciated and enjoyed having  Joelle in her class. As Galina and Joe began talking,  Joe said he would make this quick, " I'd like to keep her until christmas morning, Your more than welcome to have her christmas eve if you want,  I don't think my parents are doing anything until, the morning, i'm not  for sure, I can definitely ask." Joe asked as Galina began  "Joe why don't you just keep her for the remander, holiday. I have a business meeting I just got informed this morning of and Its in  Sarasota, and i won't be home until the 27th. I felt horrible, and couldn't tell her but i know she'll be happy to be with you." Joe nodded and said well it's settled then,You can just call me or shoot me a text when your back and around, and we can set up a time then for you to have her.  I don't think i can have her for new years because of the tour i'm taking after the 29th I leave that night, and won't be back until  the 4th or 5th of janauary.  But this will work out have a nice trip though".  as joelle came between  her two parents she wanted to show them, her decorated desk of construction paper, with an elf and santa decoration she made in art class.  " See my desk, the teacher changed the stuff from what you seen earlier dad but i still sit with tate! he's my best friend" Joelle said. As they laughed, and enjoyed the decorations, Galina bent down, and said "Well mommy has to go. She has to leave for a few days, for work your going to stay with daddy, I'm so sorry sweetheart we're not spending christmas together. i didn't want to tell you earlier, because it may of upset you."  Joelle hugged her mom, and said that it was okay she wasn't upset she was going to be with daddy and papa and everyone she was fine with it.  As she kissed her daughter goodbye she, she said  goodbye  to joe and his parents and hers and left. "Well kiddo you ready to go, I bet your pretty tired. And i think Addy made a big pot of potato soup, earlier does that sound good for dinner."? As Joelle nodded she got  in her dads truck and they went home.

**Back at Joe's house**

Joelle,  went upstairs to change in her pajamas as Joe and Addy we're in the kitchen dishing up the homeade soup. " I really had a nice time with you. I really think Joelle, enjoyed seeing me with someone rather than myself being alone. It hasn't been easy on her, I just hate seeing her see me alone. I'm happy i'm content but really enjoyed being with you, It really felt like family. Addy smiled, and poured herself a glass of white wine, and came close to  joe and nuzzled in his chest and smelt the cologne he was wearing, whatever it was  it smelt good. Joelle came bouncing around the corner, "SANTAAAA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWNNNNNNNN. SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWNNNNNN" she was singing her christmas song she sang at the program. Daddy what are you doing with Addy? He froze mid kiss he broke the kiss quick, and explained " Uhh Uhh  she Uhh i had something in my tooth, and i couldn't get it, and almost chipped my tooth earlier so she was looking at it, JoJo why do you ask, why do you want to know what we were doing?"  Joelle laughed and said " When i wanted to get my glass of water, last night and you were sleeping, or something i knew something was up daddy" his eyes widened, and said " you knew what we were doing, your too young to know what we're doing. Joelle, come on  heres your bowl of potato soup you want circle crackers? or sqaure" Joe asked CIRCLE DADDY CIRCLE. the circle crackers were oysters but she never knew what it was for technical tearm. he gave her  a handful of crackers and sat next to her as addy got her and joe a bowl as they enjoyed their soup. Joe  and addy made small talk as Joe, made a mention Hey Joelle where's that elf on the shelf guy at?  she had her mouth full of soup, as she swallowed the soup, she said " Daddy your not supposed to go looking for him, but i think he's in the bathroom he had to potty so i hope hes okay in there, Joe smiled and said well i'm going to check on him, I don't want santa's helper sick." As joe walked in the bathroom he shut the door and decorated quickly,  as a welcome to their home he threw shaving cream, on the mirror and filled the water cup with warm water and thought to himself this is so stupid, when matt and i were little we just knew to be good. or our asses were gonna get it when dad got home now we get an elf to watch our children why have kids? just get a elf. he put his beard trimmer in the water and sat the elf in the sink  by the mirror. and wrote a message for joelle it read " Hello Joelle, I'm the elf on the sielf, I can't really spell gud but i hope you can help me this wenter, I know you wil do your viry best to be a good girl but you have to knw if i se  any  bad i wil report it to mr. santa himself, whoops i had a party in the potty but i feel bitter, tonight i want you to read my stori and name me something good,  i cant wait to have a name and be with your family for  a very long time. See you soon”. - Elf. He stepped back, and  thought to himself " JOE ANOAI, what have you done? "? soon there was knock on the door, daddy is he broken? daddy can i see, daddy?   Just a second Joelle.. He's uh i think you better come in here, joelle come here, sweetie. ADDY COME IN HERE TOO daddy said  the elf is uh not good i'm scared as  addy and joelle walked in the bathroom, Addy laughed and said” Ohhhh your elf isn't broke, sweetie, he had a party look at the message want us to read it to you Joe began reading it,  as he got done reading it, he looked at addy,  and smiled as he shrugged his shoulders, and mouthed " I Tried". well daddy wheres the book, Where is it?  Joe smiled down at  Joelle and said, I think its in the living room sweetie, why don't you go find it, and we can read it and we can put you to bed.  As she found the book, she climbed on the couch in between Joe and Addy as Joe read the book towards the end, of the book  she started dozing off, "Joelle, we have to name this little guy, What do you want  to name him. as she looked, at addy and looked at her dad, she said " how about BLITZEN"? Joe smiled and nodded and said "Blitzen it is.. good name JoJo". as joelle started to fall asleep next to addy, addy mouthed "Xmas tree.. soon? we doing that? or you doing that? He smiled and said tomorrow evening, BIG party. BIG thing. as Joe grabbed her from Addy's arms, he took her upstairs, and put  her to bed.  As joe came back downstairs, he noticed Addy moving furniture around he asked,  "What are you doing, babe?"  “I'm moving, some things around for  our christmas tree, when we get it if we are getting one,  Yeah we uh sure can  i usually put a small one, up cause i'm never home, So i don't know,  how big we're getting or what we're, even doing  but whatever you want to do babe, you just name it, and we can do it. Addy smiled and said, Well I' just want to make our first christmas  a good one for the both of us and for your daughter, He paused and said " Me too. Me too"  As it was getting late, close to 10:30 they decided to head up to bed themselves after cleaning, up the kitchen for a bit, Joe could barely keep his eyes open, " Joe why don't you go upstairs, i' have this it'll only take me a couple minutes. I can finish up and be up there to serve you, in no time". Joe smiled and said, " As much as i want to be served baby girl I  think we better just call it a hault and get some rest we can resume your serving duties in the morning.". She smiled while cleaning off the stove and setting the dishwasher settings Joe went on upstairs to bed as Addy's phone rang  It was naomi. "GIRLLLLLLL where have you been oh my god. things are crazy back at the performance center I guess Mark calaway is coming back, he's due anyday, he was here two days ago getting cleared he looked so healthy so good back to his self again,  Marsha well you know Marsha, she's still trying to get the ward back to tip top shape, she's insane with how much work she throws on all of us. How's joe hows his family? how are you? We're all good here. I'm excited to come back to work on Saturday I miss my patients, i miss my friends. I miss you guys. I know i know i haven't told Joe yet but  tomorrow we're getting a tree with Joelle and him, and then i assume decorating i should probably head out here, and go by my house to get all those boxes of decoratins, i have I just  didn't know i was going to fall this fast for him. "  Uh Girl. we all knew from the moment you saw him, again you we're going to fall fast.  and so far, he really is enjoying your company in many more ways than you want to admit, and so are you. she said. She Smiled. and thought to herself this girl  knows all. no matter what this girl knows all. as she said, "Well girl, i'm gonna get going I'm super tired  and tomorrow you know were doing the big tree and iam going to have to go to the house, and get the decorations, girl lets talk over the weekend. I'm sure  Joe will allow you to talk, more then unless your being tied down to his bed and he's nipping all over you. GIRLLLLLLLL NAOMI. GIRLLLLLLL. you cannot. you cannot.  they both laughed and, said they loved each other as addy was thinking, of what Naomi said she got a tingling sensation   " Leati, Leati, Leati, I i- I - I can't find the bowl for the pudding, Leati. Joe Joe."  Joe came out of the room, just wearing his pajama pants that rested right above, his hips  his hair was down a few locks, were resting, above his shoulders the rest were, behind him.  What do you need baby what are you making?  Addi, found the whisk, but not a good enough bowl, she turned around to look at him, " I Was going to, make some vanilla pudding for  in the morning for a recipe that my mom and dad used to make us,  I Thought, Joelle might want to make it with me,"   I think she will love to bake with you she loves to cook,  she loves making sandwhiches  just you wait, she has to make you her famous grilled cheese with loads and loads of cheese!".  joe laughed it's a staple with her!  Addy then said, " I can't wait to cook with her, tomorrow then. she smiled  as joe pressed his lips, against hers  as he held out the bowl, "This big enough baby?"  she smiled and said that's perfect, I'll sit it over here, and maybe the elf can muster up something,  he laughed and said  I'm not sure if that guy can do everything?  she laughed and said, "Blitzen is watching be careful. what you say around him. he will report you to santa!"  he laughed as he went to grab him, and put him in the bowl with the whisk in one hand and a cracked egg on his lips as he grabbed a piece of paper he wrote " WIIPS, i heard you liked pudding. i thought i'd get stired up and ridy for you. i hope you and i can ejoy some. -- Blitzen" Joe laughed and said this is too much i don't even know what i'm doing, addison interuppted him, and said  " Your making christmas special for your little girl Joe, And for me too. He kissed her  neck and said  "Say goodnight to blitzen, here and “hey blitz, you uh hold down the fort down here, i'll take care of the upstairs big man got it? " She laughed and said 'Joe the Elf doesn't talk back. lets go upstairs  baby." Joe said " You lead the way  Doc. she laughed and turned the lights out and, left the oven light on for a night light with a warmer she found at K&K  awhile back she brought over.

“Joe i need you to make love to me. I need to feel powerful, I need you to make me feel powerful baby. please, don't go easy on me either. i'm begining to hate the easy. I like the easy, but i need to be worked for and i need to make sure I can write a good evaluation for your return for the upcoming shows your doing. I need you to really show me what you got and what you can do, with that Just think baby this is going to help both of us, With that the door was shut and,  She was thrown on the bed, as she landed in beneath the throw pillows, she was undressing herself as  quickly as she could,  She found her swollen clit and began massaging it in hopes he would take over but he didn't  with her breath becoming more and more, faint  she cried out " LEATI i was serious I need you to be inside me and to never, leave me please please, with the last please that left her lips, he plowed into her tight wet pussy, lifting her legs  making them spread wide, he began pumping faster and faster into her  her swollen slit was as red as the crayon. as she was grunting, she became mad at how much he was so powerful, Joe kept pounding just when he couldn't take much more he pulled  out and flipped her over, " Now your going to really piss me off Joe, if you fuck my ass. I don't want you, I don't want this, this way Joe, I don't I don't- OH JOE! as joe  told her to not look at him, he  pushed her face down in the pillows, " The only thing i want to hear out of your fucking mouth,  doc, is "MORE AND MORE. and you better be loud tell your samoan what you like, you know you like it “as he began plowing in her ass, she moaned loud  and forgot to moan in the pillow as she threw a pillow out of the way he pushed her head down, and said  "TELL  ME IT HURTS, TELL ME TELL ME NOW DOC, how this patient of yours is so rough”, as he found her swollen clit, with one hand he managed to  continue to pump in her ass, “OH LEATI i'm going to come if you don't stop, I swear to god i'm coming i'm coming, as he said, NO don't do it yet don't you dare come i didn't tell you to come as he pulled out he pushed her back down on the bed she fell gracefully, with her arms going behind her head with given no warning Joe was burried in her wet pussy  driving deeper into her seeing new horizon's that he's never seen before, " Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh. Joe. Ohhhhhh myyyy Joe this is so good this is it keep going keep that big dick inside me, don't you dare  pull out “ As joe slipped out Addy reached her hand down and began pumping, his cock within minutes joe came faster than he ever came, before all over addisons  tanned skin stomach, He fell back on the bed next to her breathing heavier than he ever has, "Doc i better be cleared from this because i don't know if i can make it, a 5 star for you every single night" Addy laughed and propped herself up on the pillows, next to joe she,  sighed and said, well i am still swollen but i can only judge on one side, I need more from this side as she began licking her fingers taunting joe Joe leaned back and sighed " ohhhh addy come on, that side is swollen too, but if it's not to your liking  then here we go he slid 2 fingers in her swollen slit and began pumping in and out slow at first, moving faster and faster, with each pump  of his fingers he moved closer to her, to kiss her neck, as he instered the third member of his finger  her breath became  rapid, as  she tried so hard to keep her eyes on him her eyes we're fighting the tension to close  as she finally let her eyes win  she moaned his name pushing his hand in deeper, with 3 fingers working her swollen clit she finally came hard and fast all for him "Taste me Joe." he licked his lips and  cleaned his hands off, and began drinking the juice from her swollen clit,   Joe's tounge began working, more and more as  she was coming again, he was right there for all of it, " Joe i didn't mean you make me come, again. God damn you. but god this was the best. Mmmmmm " she said.  As joe began to make sentances,  " So doc, did you get worked on? Did i uh give you a good evaluation?   Joe laughed, As  Addi smiled up at him " Ohhh i think your evaluation was one of the best yet. I think we're going to have to have another one tomorrow, I just want you at your best for when you  come back. But for now we have to get some rest Joelle will wake us up early and we're getting our tree and decorating it.

** As joe and Addy fell asleep.  the next  few days are going to be awesome, and I know Joelle will want, the biggest tree and decorating at christmas was Joelle's favorite, and it was addys too. They have a lot of busy days coming up.  Will Joe finally get his final evaluation  of sex and will he be cleared to even come back? stay tunned!!

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It’s Time We Censure Trump for Conduct Unbecoming a President

On Dec. 28, Army Pvt. Emmanuel Mensah rushed twice into a burning building in the Bronx and rescued four people. On his third trip in, he died. Mensah was from Ghana, one of President Trumps shithole countries.

Trumps comment was racist: He was referring only to countries with dark-skinned people. That makes the Fox News blowhards who endorse it racists, too.

It was stupid: We need the help of those nations to fight terrorism and pursue other national interests. Trump just did another huge favor for China, which is already moving aggressively in Africa.

And it was un-American: Immigrants from dysfunctional countries, including those like Trumps grandfather, who came from impoverished Germany in 1886, built the United States. You can look it up.

Another thing to research: Article 133 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. All senior U.S. military personnelincluding women are subject to a court martial for conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman. Such conduct includes dishonest, indecent, cruel and dishonorable acts. Article 133 charges require no proof of law-breaking. They can be brought for merely indecorous behavior, which means acting like an asinine ignoramus.

If the commander in chief were down a few rungs in the chain of command, he would have been court-martialed months ago for conduct unbecoming, just as President Clinton would have been court-martialed in 1998 for having sex with a White House intern. It goes without saying that if either president were a mere CEO of a publicly traded corporation, he would have been tossed out on his ear.

But just because the president cant be impeached (at least not yet), court-martialed or fired doesnt mean he cant be punished. Its time to stop wringing our hands. There are remedies that lie between removal from office and doing nothing.

The best short-term remedy is censure by both Houses of Congress, a move that would begin the essential process of checking Trump.

Andrew Jacksonwhose painting Steve Bannon told Trump to hang in the Oval Officeis the only president ever censured (for not turning over certain bank documents). Senator Joe McCarthy was censured in 1954 for dishonoring the Senate with his anti-Communist character assassination, which was engineered by Trumps mentor, Roy Cohn. Censure is what I and a lot of other people argued was the right punishment for Bill Clinton in the Monica Lewinsky case. It wasnt enough for Republicans who backed impeachmentsome of the same Republicans (Im looking at you, Orrin Hatch) who today think Trump is one of the best presidents.

So why would those Trump enablers censure him over this? They probably wont. They didnt when three House Democrats introduced a censure motion after Trump said both sides were to blame after neo-Nazis marched in Charlottesville, Virginia, last August.

But some big things have changed since Charlottesville. The implications of another international incident for our standing in the world are clearer now. And GOP incumbents are running scared, with 31 members so far announcing theyre leaving their House seats. Thats seven more than the 24 seats Democrats need to take control in November. Even Republicans know that bigotry is not a good look in an election year.

Could Trump walk back his line? Not likely. Roy Cohn gave him two pieces of advice: Retaliate against your enemies times 10 and never say youre sorry. The only time on record when he apologized was for the Access Hollywood tapeand he rescinded it late last year with the claim that it wasnt his voice on the tape with Billy Bush. Even his fanboys couldnt swallow that one.

With no apology forthcoming, every Republican member of Congress will (or at least should) be asked by their local reporters whether the president owes one. It will be hard for many of them to say no, or to explain to their constituents why the remark was OK. The issue would be further crystallized if Democrats threaten to boycott the Jan. 30 State of the Union Addressa possibility, Im told by congressional staffers, should no other remedy materialize.

White House aides are apparently already claiming that shithole countries is playing well with Trumps anti-immigrant, anti-PC base. But its bound to play horribly with the much larger combination of Democrats and independents. For that not-so-Silent Majority, failure to pursue this matter in some fashion is not an option.

Even so, passing a censure resolution obviously requires at least some bipartisanship. Thats why the language of the rebuke should come from Article 133. Keeping it in military termsterms, by the way, that even Trump would understandputs pressure on Speaker Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell, the Senate majority leader, to at least let their chambers decide. Members wouldnt have to debate immigration or foreign policy or even racism, merely vote that the presidents conduct was unbecoming. Who can argue with that?

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