#and thats the story of how a silly little pixel guy who now isnt much older than me anymore saved my life when i was a kid | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

motheatencrow · 2 years ago

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BUG GAME MASTERPOST (AS OF NOV. 2022)

heyhey! this isnt actually anything "official"! i just thought i’d make this for fun and to also spread around bug video games that others, who like the silly little critters as well, might enjoy!

(remember that this is as of nov. 29 2022 so if any game unreleased game on here is now released, it may have been after the date that this was made)

there will be 3 categories: released games, games to be released/are being developed, and honorable mentions

under the released games, i will also be stating if i have finished the game, played them, or simply heard of them (can range from "i have the game wishlisted", "owned but not played", literally only heard of it, etc.)

these bug games will also only list games where most invertebrates are the main focus of the game

other than that, i will be doing the following if possible!:

- i will be providing brief comments for what i think of each game (this is my opinion of each game!! everyone has their own tastes and its alright if you dont agree with what i say! and in no way is my comments for each game professional/an attempt to critique the game in any way ksfhskjd)

- what the gameplay is like (sort of. im not really good at explaining LMAO)

- where you can find these games (game websites may be linked if available instead!)

visual warnings for this post: gif/image heavy, bright imagery click here for the text-only version!

let's begin!

released games

hollow knight - website; finished - a challenging metroidvania! i personally found this game really fun though i did have to take breaks from the game due to some difficult fights and events lsfhdskj. its definitely the type of game thats fun to replay and see how much you've improved since first playing it! i also think the world building, implied lore, and characters are really well done! (i highly enjoy reading people's analysis posts of this game jksdfkj)

overall, i suggest this game if you enjoy challenging fights and platformers, creative characters, games with deep lore, and/or emotional osts!

bug fables - website; finished - i am emotionally attached to the blue moth. anyways! bug fables is a paper mario rpg inspired game (used to be called paper bugs actually!) and it has charming characters and a good story! this game has a very fun ost and you definitely fall in love with the characters as you learn more and more about them. i find the sidequests very much worth doing and also really fun as it makes you go around and interact with a lot of the npcs in the game! you'll end up seeing that a lot of them have unique personalities and are loveable in their own right :] !!

i suggest the game if you like rpgs, bright characters and settings, bubbly osts, and/or perhaps even learning a dark secret or 2?

bugsnax - website; finished - silly game about catching and eating bug-shaped foods! or food-shaped bugs? food bugs!!!! the horrors. all the bugsnax designs are super fun and some of them are challenging to catch which i think makes the game pretty fun! there's also a bunch of ways that u could catch a bugsnak, its just up to what you can think of! the horrors. the characters are also pretty loveable and they have really neat stories and getting to know them can change the course of the game (just the ending really actually)

highly suggest the game if you enjoy being a little creative with how you perform a task/solving puzzles, characters that are more than what they seem, and silly creative creature designs!

creepy castle - available on steam; played - i have yet to finish this game! but from what i've played, its pretty fun exploring around, reading lore tidbits, and doing the duel minigames! it has a neat retro style and you can change the colors/gui settings if i remember correctly!

i suggest the game if you like rpgs, pixelated style games, and/or minigames!

webbed - website; finished - super cute spider game about saving your bf, swinging around on and crafting webs, and making new friends! did i also mention that youre a spider that shoots lasers from their eyes? webbed is a really charming game that can be completed in just a few hours, even with all the bonus/side things that you can do!

i suggest it if you like pixelated style games, are a completionist, want a shorter game, or just want to be a silly little laser spider!

apico - website; finished - a relaxing game about keeping bees and restoring bee populations! recently they've added an update where you can help repopulate solitary bees and butterflies, and there's a bunch more content that they're planning to develop and release!! the characters have silly bee pun names and have neat dialogue! (they also have pronouns next to their names when you talk to them <3) bee management is not super demanding and with some mods, you can enhance your experience in the game. personally, i have not played with mods, i really enjoy the base game alone! you can also build pretty bases, listen to the relaxing ost, or trap yourself in menu hell!

i suggest the game if you want something that's more laidback (though there is a bit of management), like reading silly dialogue blurbs, want to have a calming ost to listen to, or just wanna do some beekeeping! (proceeds also go to charities that help repopulate native bee populations!)

grounded - website; played - grounded is an open world survival sandbox game (theres also a literal sandbox in the game) where you're a teen that's been shrunken down and must survive in the backyard while finding a way to bring yourself back to your original size. the game actually got a full release in back in september and i have yet to play it because my partner has not been able to play kfhskj. but we have played when it was in early access and it was super fun! there are giant spiders in the game but there's an accessibility setting that allows you to make the spiders more blobby in case you have arachnophobia! other than that it's really fun to go running around the game screaming and crying because the giant mosquito is about to 2-shot you. the base building is also pretty fun with a variety of materials you can make your base from as well as decor. there's also a variety of weapons and armors to choose from and create a build to optimally destroy bugs that are not so friendly. you can also tame some of the passive creatures and become extremely overprotective of them. (im not speaking from experience [lying]) there's actually a storyline to follow as well that helps encourage exploration and progression in the game!

i recommend the game if you enjoy open world sandbox survival games, being scared out of your mind when something you didnt see gets aggro'd on you, making neat bases, and/or strategizing and making builds to suit your playstyle! (i also highly recommend playing with friends!)

space moth dx - available on steam; played - an arcade-like shoot-em-up bullet hell where you play a moth shooting lasers at other laser shooting bugs! this is actually a fairly tough game if you're not familiar with these types of games. i personally have not gotten that far and have yet to play it again kslfhkjs but i think the art is super neat and the gameplay is pretty fun!

i recommend it if you enjoy bullet hells where you literally don't see anything But bullets (there is also space moth: lunar edition!)

bug academy - available on steam and switch; played - a pretty fun physics puzzle game where you control a swarm of bugs! there are different levels with different objectives and a star-based score depending on how well you do in each one! the only reason i havent finished this game is because im a completionist for it and got stuck on a level i have yet to get 3 stars on ksjfhkj. if you ever get this game, i highly recommend playing with a controller!

i suggest this game if you like puzzles, timed/stopwatch levels, trying to see how far you can chuck something, destroying buildings by chucking items, crying when you knock over your tower on accident, and/or being a silly bug swarm

crustacean nations - available on steam and itch.io; finished - woah moth!!! a game about crabs???? yeah they're getting a spot on this list, they're sea bugs to me. but anyways! crustacean nations is a fairly short game with only 3 levels (if i remember correctly) and a sandbox mode. you're essentially commanding a kingdom of crabs and you must defend your sand castle while destroying the other crab sand castles. there's also a pit where you can sacrifice crabs and summon a Big One. it doesn't take too much strategy to win each level but you still need to think about it a bit!

i suggest it if u want to play a brief n short army-building game! with crabs!

kill it with fire - website; finished - a silly game about exterminating spiders. as you progress through the game you get a bunch of new weapons to um. delete spiders with. there's also a bunch of challenges you can do and achievements to get! i've completely 100%'d the game just because it's kinda fun trying to do the challenges and collect all the achievements. the ending is also. a little messed up.

i suggest the game if you're a bit of a completionist, don't like spiders for some reason (i think theyre pretty neat), want to have a stress-relief game (or would it be stress inducing??), or want to see how goofy it gets

social moth - available on steam; heard of - a lot of my mutuals talk about and adore this game! i have not played it yet but it's wishlisted! here's a copy n pasted excerpt from the steam page: "Social Moth is a narrative platformer where you play as a small moth contending with social anxiety. Set in a close-knit community on the forest floor, the game allows the player to explore themes of mental health, relationships, and finding a sense of belonging."

i think i can suggest this game if you have social anxiety/want to understand social anxiety while also playing a puzzle platformer with an endearing art style and characters!

buggos - available on steam; heard of - ive had this game wishlisted for a while! here's a copy and pasted excerpt from the steam page: "Buggos is an RTS Auto Battler where you evolve your army into the perfect bug fighting force. You control a young hive mind bent on world domination, and your swarm will mostly listen to your every beck and call. Guide your swarm’s evolutionary path and breed your best bugs for world domination!"

i think i can suggest this game if you like the idea of world domination and slaughter, want a bug army building game, or enjoy pixelated style games.

i commissioned some bees - available on steam; heard of - did you know there's 10 of these games plus an advent edition?? these games are essentially just where's waldo bee edition and multiply those by like 1000. i've had this game wishlisted for a while but it hasnt been a priority pft. here's an excerpt from the steam page!: "The brief was simple. I commissioned artists to create a fantasy world, and hide as many bees as they can inside it. Now it’s your job to find them all! With 10 art pieces to choose from, and 1000+ bees, you will have a lot of searching to do."

bee simulator - website; heard of - i own the game but havent played it yet. the most ive done is watch markiplier play it hfkjsd. here's an excerpt from the epic games page: "The hive awakens as the sun's first rays warm the horizon. It's time to test your wings, receive orders from the Queen and begin your first mission. And that's just the start of your adventures. Humans want to cut down the tree that holds your hive, so your fate – and that of the whole swarm – rests on your tiny shoulders!" i think this game is more of an educational game aimed towards families and children but who knows! maybe some of you will enjoy it too?

i think i can recommend this game if you like bees :) and doing minigames/tasks/challenges!

black widow: recharged - website; heard of - an arcade shooter where you play a spider! i own this game but havent played it yet. here's an excerpt from the site: "Aim for a high score in the old school arcade mode and earn bragging rights with your name at the top of the leaderboard. Or test your skills and rank on the boards in one of 30 intensely creative challenges, which twist the gameplay in new and exciting ways. Collect cash from downed enemies to charge a powerful web blast, or pick up one of a dozen new power-ups including explosive blasts, spread-shots, and fear, trapping all enemies in your web. Every mode and level is playable in local co-op mode with a friend."

centipede recharged - website; heard of - i've played centipede in an actual arcade but it was not this specific game so i dont know if the experience is around the same. (i own it but havent played it) centipede recharged is similar to black widow: recharged in terms of an arcade shooter as well as the description given

empires of the undergrowth - website; played - an army building game about ants! in the "main zone", you're an experimental ant species that seems to be able to take on traits of many other ant species. you play levels as real-life ant species and try to grow your colony and complete objectives that are given to you. the rewards you get from these levels are used to upgrade your lab species and after completing a set of levels, you'll be given a challenge using the lab species. i havent completed this game due to being stuck on one of the challenge levels fhksjd but i think its kind of fun

i suggest this game if you like army building games (similar to starcraft or warhammer) and the idea of making a huge ant colony and competing against other colonies

yoku's island express - available on steam; heard of - there's actually a lot more places where you can purchase yoku's island express (epic games, switch, gog, etc.) but their website is down so i decided to resort to linking the steam page. i currently own the game but have not played it! it's a game about you being a tiny postman exploring around islands, delivering packages, while also making new friends and saving the islands where you reside. it's a pinball platformer adventure game and it seems really cute and fun to play!

earthtongue - available on steam and itch.io; heard of - this game actually just got recommended to me after this was posted! earthtongue is a game where you watch over a world inhabited by fungi and bugs. here's an excerpt about the game!: "You will spend most of your time watching life grow and eat each other to survive. Your subtle nudges will be required to maintain the balance of this world, but it can handle itself much of the time. Player given goals are limited, aside from maximizing the health of your ecosystem. You may choose to try to create a fungal garden to your liking. You may try your best to breed as many beetles as you can. You might use those beetles instead as food stock for the mantises. You might instead just peacefully watch the story of Earthtongue unfold on its own."

stonefly - website; heard of - stonefly is an adventure game where you control a bug-shaped mech! here's an excerpt from the site: "Harness the wind and soar through the wilderness of Stonefly, a chill and tranquil action-adventure game about self-discovery, legacy, and belonging. Glide your mech strategically among beautiful flora and dangerous fauna, confronting hungry bugs, adventures, and memorable characters."

to be released/in development games

hollow knight: silksong - website - the game that the hk fandom says doesn't exist and is actually a collective fever dream (it is 100% a real game, we're all just very excited for it to come out! /srs) the game is going to be like hollow knight (a challenging metroidvania) but this time the player plays as a new protagonist, who was a character in the first game, hornet! this game will have a new world to explore, new mechanics to master, new faces to meet, and much more.

bugaboo pocket - website - a really cute pixelated game about raising bugs! an excerpt from the site: "Bugaboo Pocket is a digital pet game where you raise bugs from egg to adult. How you care for your pet influences their personality and impacts the ecology around them. Inspired by real bugs!"

another crab's treasure - website - a game where you play as a hermit crab! you use trash in your surroundings as your shell and each "shell" provides a different effect that affects how you play the game! an excerpt from the site: "Another Crab’s Treasure is a soulslike adventure set in a crumbling underwater world. As Kril the hermit crab, you’ll need to wear the trash around you as shells to withstand attacks from enemies many times your size. Embark on an epic treasure hunt to buy back your repossessed shell, and discover the dark secrets behind the polluted ocean." (i recommend checking out their tiktok, some of the posts there are extremely funny)

dewdrop dynasty - steam page - a pixelated style metroidvania where you play as a gunslinging bee who lost their wings and finds themselves trapped in an unknown place. you'll meet interesting characters, challenging enemies, and also learn new skills and mechanics as you play the game. goodgis, dewdrop dynasty's dev, also posts a bunch of videos on youtube regarding game development tips and devlogs. (that's how my partner knew about the game and introduced it to me) a fun and charming game that will have mysteries to discover!

i am a caterpillar - dev's twitter - a game where you play as a caterpillar!: unbothered. slimey. thriving. in your moss. squelched up. wriggling. an excerpt from one of the dev's tweets!: "Become the squidgy lil' caterpillar you've always wanted to be, on a quest to stop your own metamorphosis. Crawl & wriggle all over anything in your path and explore the canopy."

a webbing journey - website - a cute 3D game where you play as a spider! you'll explore the world, making webs and slinging around on them. you'll also meet some friendly faces to talk to and do quests for them! an excerpt from the site: " You control a little spider equipped with all the typical spider abilities and a little bit more as you travel through various stunning islands searching for the most exotic flowers for your spider date. Along your journey you meet other spiders and animals who provide additional side stories and quests which challenge your spider abilities."

invertipets - dev's site / toyhou.se - a petsite game being made by @shadybugdev where you take care of bugs and bug-like pets! there's not much on it publicly available yet other than some pet concepts (which can be viewed through the toyhouse link!) but it's something to look out for! (the picture provided is some of the pets and their possible morphs!)

honorable mentions

an isopod game(?) being made by riley neville (part of sbuggames/made webbed) - this "game" has not actually been announced to be a game that will be published but it looks neat!

a worm game(?) being made by riley neville - same thing as the previous one!

all the games in my bug game collection on itch.io! (if i added all the ones in here i would be making this post forever. but please please check them out!!)

woah its the end!

that should be all i know! most of these games, if not all, are made by indie devs so i highly suggest checking them out and supporting them if you can!

thanks so much for reading and i hope i've helped you find a new bug game to pick up and enjoy! (or to wait for!) <3

#image heavy #gif heavy #bright colors #i will be making a version where it's text only for the people who may not be able to read this one!!!#man this took a while but im proud of it :)

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danfanciesphil · 7 years ago

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Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 3

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Read on Ao3!)

Dan’s in the middle of his break, scrolling through his phone, when a text notification appears at the top of his screen. He drops his bagel into his lap, cursing.

The text is from Phil. He doesn’t know any other Phil’s, so it has to be AmazingPhil, texting him, inexplicably.

He clicks the notification, eyes wide, simultaneously scooping up the bagel bits that have fallen onto his knees.

From: Phil To: Dan im in makeup for a weird photoshoot for some korean clothing brand and they just put loads of silver goo in my hair to make it chromey

As Dan is reading the message, searching between the lines for a reason Phil might be telling him this information, another text pings through.

From: Phil To: Dan whoops, i kinda meant to send that to PJ. but hey, if you’re interested, here’s a pic of me with ‘Kpop Idol Silver Hair Paste’ in lol xx

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

The phone slips from Dan’s fingers, clattering through his legs to the floor of the staff room. Phil has sent him a selfie. An un-edited, un-Instagrammed photo of his breathtaking face, up close. Sure, there’s a weird silvery goop in his usually raven hair, but still. Gingerly, Dan retrieves the phone, a small, strangled sound escaping from his throat as he surveys the image in front of him.

It makes a little more sense now that Phil has informed him that he had actually mistakenly texted the original message, but did the guy really have to follow up with a photo? He must, surely, be aware of Dan’s crush. He witnessed the brunt of Dan’s obsessive stalking in person on his phone, after all.

Bagel entirely forgotten, Dan just stares down into the pixelated blue of Phil Lester’s eyes, wondering how to respond, and if he even should. Deciding eventually that it would be rude not to, Dan shakily types out something he hopes is vaguely witty.

From: Dan To: Phil hahaha wow :’) kpop? more like kpoop. (it looks like bird poop, sorry dude.) x

From: Phil To: Dan hahaha it does ur so right. and if you think thats bad you should see the outfits… xx

Settling back into his chair, Dan bites his lip. As he thinks of a potential response, his eyes wander over to the spot, just to the right of him, where he and Phil had stood not long ago, when it had seemed like maybe, possibly, Phil might’ve…

But obviously that’s absurd.

Dan’s wishful thinking had clearly driven him to the point of hallucination, because the very notion that Phil Lester, AmazingPhil, the famous Instagram model, would ever have looked at Dan as anything more than a random bartender, is laughable.

Dan sighs to himself, then smirks. Well, just because he has no chance, doesn’t mean he can’t utilise his semi-connection to the celebrity to get some behind-the-scenes footage of his fave.

From: Dan To: Phil well now i have to see x

There’s a noticeable pause, and Dan wonders, panicking vaguely, if he may have pushed too far. Is it a little much to ask this of Phil? Maybe he just won’t respond, and Dan will have to quit his job forever, or maybe just spend his shifts on red alert that Phil will wander into the bar, and hide from him if he does-

He texts back.

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

From: Phil To: Dan hot, right? xx

For two long, uninterrupted minutes, Dan is frozen. Then, he lets out a muffled groan of frustration. The photo Phil sent is a full body shot taken by someone else; he’s dressed in an asymmetrical long white t-shirt with several long rips through the chest, some bright pink camouflage trousers, and a shiny silver puffer jacket with a black fur-lined hood. The outfit is a complete disaster, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. His chest is visible through the slits in the tee; having seen it twice now IRL, Dan is drawn to the slivers he can see. The trousers make his eyes pop, and the jacket matches the silver streaked through his hair.

His pose is casual, feet apart, smirking at the camera, with his hands gesturing to his body as if to say ‘see what i mean?’. If he’d posted this on his Instagram, Dan gets the feeling he’d have saved it to his camera roll anyway, maybe even made it his phone background.

Dan’s done that with a few of his favourite photos of Phil in the past. He won’t even dwell on the time when Phil posted a photo of himself in the bath and Dan, in a semi-sleep-deprived fit of insanity, printed the photo out and stuck it on his wall.

Tyler came over once, weeks later, saw the photo taped above Dan’s bed, and tore the thing down. He’d told Dan, quite rightly, to stop being such a creep and keep his crazed obsessive behaviour to social media like everyone else.

“Who even has physical photos these days?? You’re like a fucking serial killer!”

Dan chuckles at this memory. He’s glad for Tyler, sometimes, even if he’s only good for keeping Dan’s stalkerish behaviour within the realms of normalcy.

Belatedly, he realises it’s been over five minutes and he still hasn’t responded to Phil. Also, his break is close to being over.

From: Dan To: Phil woww. please, phil of the future, tell me what life is like in 2087 x

From: Phil To: Dan stawwp. i keep laughing out loud at what ur saying and now the designer is sending me death glares :’’’D xx

Trying hard to ignore the fact that his dorky jokes are apparently literally making Phil ‘lol’, Dan checks the time, and sighs, typing out another message.

From: Dan To: Phil is the designer a martian? or maybe secretly one of those reptile-people? maybe skin him just to be safe. also my break is over so i gtg. have fun on set of NASA’s moonlanding recreation x

From: Phil To: Dan aww ur at work too? that sux. i forgot that u work at night lol. hope u stay dry this evening ;) xx

From: Dan To: Phil speaking of… why are u at work? isnt it kind of late for a photoshoot? x

From: Phil To: Dan well its 8am here so no haha xx

From: Dan To: Phil where are you? x

From: Phil To: Dan seoul :) hence the… unusual fashion lol xx

Dan’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. He stands from his chair, throws his half eaten bagel in the trash, and looks around himself. He’s in the staff room - a small, dusty space with a row of falling apart lockers, a couple of chairs and a small table. There’s a hook on the wall which holds a load of unused aprons, and a rusty heater for when it’s especially cold.

He’s about to go back out to serve a load of rowdy customers some overpriced cocktails, then mop a dancefloor sticky with sweat, alcohol, and whatever other liquids might have found their way there. Then, he’s going to go back to his crummy flat way across in Kemptown, unfold his sofabed, and fall asleep to Netflix.

Phil, on the other side of the world in Korea, is having his hair, makeup and wardrobe done by professionals. He’s being treated like a celebrity, no doubt, and pampered excessively. Later, he’ll receive high-definition, professional photographs of himself looking gorgeous, and post them to his Instagram, where millions of people will tell him how stunning he looks.

Dan sighs to himself. How the other half lives.

The following day, Dan wakes up to find that Phil has updated his Instagram story, and posted the photo with the silver goo in his hair. The same one he’d sent to Dan. The caption reads:

Not sure silver hair was a good idea! The designer was going for Kpop, but ended up with Kpoop… can’t wait to show you guys the photos from this shoot! xx

Two things cross Dan’s mind.

First, Dan can now officially state that he had a sneak-peek at an official AmazingPhil photo before it was posted.

Second, the bitch totally stole his joke.

He smiles to himself ruefully, then decides to leave a comment. There’s no way that Phil will even see it - he’s never seen any of Dan’s others, or at least Dan sincerely hopes he hasn’t, as they’re mostly things like ‘choke me’ or ‘slap me round the face with your yaoi hands dad’.

Okay, maybe he tends to leave those sorts of comments when he’s less than sober.

This time, Dan just taps out a simple:

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

Still smiling to himself, Dan rolls over onto his side, and settles in to watch Phil’s story. The stories are usually long, silly, and full of adorable clips of Phil being clumsy and cute. As expected, this one is no exception. It’s a tour of Phil’s hotel room in Seoul, which is very posh.

Phil exclaims over the origami hand towels on his bed, the robe provided for him in the wardrobe, and the multiple options on the ‘disco shower’ as he calls it. Just as Dan is marvelling at the panoramic shot Phil has filmed of his view from the balcony, a notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil replied to your comment: joke stealing is…

Dan sits bolt upright in bed, the sheets falling off him. He runs a hand through his messy hair, eyes wide. He clicks the notification before it disappears, heart pounding.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Dan hadn’t intended for him to actually see. What if Phil thinks he’s being rude? He doesn’t actually mind Phil stealing his stupid joke about the hair goo. It’s an honour, if anything, that Phil finds his dumb joke good enough to post as a caption millions of people will read.

Heart thrumming, Dan finds the response Phil left.

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

amazingphil: @danisnotonfire aha i was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see ;D

Another notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil started following you

“Holy shit,” Dan says to nobody.

amazingphil liked your photo

“Fuck,” Dan squeaks, clutching his pillow for support. “Stop it Phil, I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

Curious, Dan clicks the last notification, wondering which photo it was that Phil pressed the little heart for. To his surprise, it’s a selfie, one he took at work around a month ago. He took it during a lull between serving, if he remembers correctly. The lighting hadn’t been awful when he was doing his hourly fringe check in his phone camera, so he’d snapped a pic. It’s nothing special, just a moody expression and a wash of pink lighting across one half of his face.

amazingphil commented on your photo

amazingphil: nice pout ;) xx

Dan falls back into the pillows, mind obliterating itself into a thousand, tiny pieces.

Over the next few weeks, Dan has several text conversations with Phil. They’re usually started by Phil himself, who will - out of what Dan assumes is boredom - sometimes send him a random meme, a musing about his surroundings, or a selfie. For obvious reasons, Dan prefers the latter.

No matter how many times Phil reaches out via text, the surreality of it never fails to send Dan’s mind freewheeling. It always knocks the wind out of his lungs, it always makes him stop dead in his tracks, and it always leaves him struggling to recover for the next few hours. Whenever this happens at work, Tyler never fails to tease him mercilessly.

“Whoops! Please excuse him, sir, his mind has been blended by a single text from his crush,” Tyler tells a customer the fifth time Dan drops a glass behind the bar.

Dan scowls at his friend, but doesn’t try to defend himself. It’s true, after all. One text from Phil has him behaving like a moron. He becomes physically inept, unable to make the simplest drink.

One night, after the bar has closed, Dan and Tyler are cleaning up.

“So when’s he gonna stop torturing you over text and come sweep you off your beer-drenched tootsies?”

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “He’s not, Ty. He’s a rich and famous superstar, and I’m clearing up puke for the third day in a row.”

Dan wrinkles his nose as he continues mopping up the patch of vomit. He’s suspicious at this point; three days in a row is unusual. Is the same person coming in each night and spewing their guts all over the dance floor out of spite? Perhaps it’s some sort of hate crime.

“It’s like a Cinderella story!” Ty exclaims, pirouetting around his broom. “Except it’s gay, which makes it even better.”

Dan scoffs at him. “I’m pretty sure fairytales don’t involve stalking someone over social media and having them find out. He’s just taking pity on me because he saw that first night that I’m a fan.” Dan dunks the mop back in the bucket, turning to Tyler. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he has a boyfriend.”

Tyler sucks in a scandalised breath. “What! Who?”

Dragging the mop back to the supply closet, Dan laughs. “Remember the drunk guy he came with? The one who gave me a lovely Rainforest shower?”

“Him?”

Dan sighs, locks the cupboard, and nods. He digs into his pocket for his phone, and brings it over to show Tyler the photo of Phil and Charlie kissing. Matt, the security guard wanders over to see as well, letting out a low whistle.

“He’s a nonce if he thinks that guy’s behaviour was attractive,” Matt says. “He puked ‘soon as I got him out the door that night. All over the pavement.”

Dan looks at Matt, tilting his head in interest. “He did?”

Tyler plucks the phone out of Dan’s hand, zooming into the photo to have a better look, a frown on his face.

“Yep, your friend there came out, called him an Uber and sent him off,” Matt says. “Doubt pukey there would’ve made it home without him.”

“Nice guy,” Dan mutters, cheeks warm.

“This is staged,” Tyler announces abruptly.

“What?”

“Look,” he says, bringing the phone back over for Dan to see.

He zooms in on the crux of the kiss, right onto Phil’s face. Dan grimaces.

“Ty, I don’t want to see-”

“Shut up and look at his face,” Tyler interrupts, grabbing Dan’s chin and angling it towards the phone. “See how his lips are puckered? All stiff and pointed, like he’s kissing his grandma. And his eyes are open.”

“He’s looking at the camera!”

“Nah, Tyler’s right mate,” Matt says. The gum he’s chewing is making gross squishy sounds right in Dan’s ear as he leans over to look. “He looks awkward as hell.”

Dan narrows his eyes at the photo, trying to see what the others see.

“Besides, didn’t you say he hated that guy?” Tyler asks, clicking off the photo.

Dan tuts, snatching his phone back. “Well, apparently he was just being nice to compensate for the fact his kissing buddy covered me in sugary cocktail.”

He makes the smart decision to step away from this preposterous conversation before he does something stupid. Like allow either of these morons to give him hope that Phil is actually single.

Not that Phil being single would even matter.

“Or he was making it clear that he’s available!” Tyler calls after him as Dan stalks over to the staff room. “He whipped his shirt off for you twice and gave you his number. Do you think he’d do that if he had a boyfriend?”

“Drop it, Ty!” Dan calls back, shutting the staff room door behind him.

He will not let himself fall into the trap of daring to believe he could get someone as gorgeous, as hilarious, as pure and… amazing, as Phil Lester.

He won’t.

This is a good philosophy, in theory.

In practise, it turns out to be a lot more difficult. Dan finds this out to his cost when Phil strolls into Habenero the following Friday with Charlie Hickory at his side. Dan’s stomach sinks as soon as he sees the pair, the butterflies that appear each time Phil so much as acknowledges exploding into dust the moment he registers who Phil is here with.

Phil makes a beeline for the bar, a big smile on his face as he sees Dan. Warily, Dan smiles back, very aware that he is not exactly Charlie’s biggest fan.

“Dan!” Phil sings, chipper as ever.

Blushing already, Dan waves an awkward hand. He will never, he’s sure, get used to hearing his name on Phil Lester’s lips. “Hi. You’re back.”

“Of course! This is my local hangout now,” Phil says, winking. “Great cocktails, cute bar staff, crazy Bingo nights… this place has got it all.”

“Some people might not agree with you about the cocktails,” Dan can’t help himself saying, glancing at Charlie.

Charlie shuffles awkwardly on the spot. “Right,” he says, casting a look at Phil. They share a look that seems loaded with something Dan is not privy to, and then Charlie sighs, turning to Dan. “I wanted to, uh, apologise. About last time. Totally not cool of me to… tell you off like that. I was wasted.”

For an awkward moment, Dan waits for the actual word ‘sorry’ to leave Charlie’s mouth. It becomes obvious fairly swiftly that the dude feels he’s already said enough, so Dan just gives him a tight smile, and clears his throat.

“Oh, yeah man,” he says. “Let’s just… move on, I guess.”

If Charlie won’t say sorry, then Dan’s sure as hell not going to say he forgives him.

“So, drinks?” Phil asks, seeming to sense the taut atmosphere. “Maybe not cocktails?”

Dan can’t help the splutter of laughter, but Charlie shoots a dagger-like glare Phil’s way. It makes Dan’s lip curl; how could anyone be angry with Phil, of all people?

“Maybe some beers?” Dan suggests, teeth clenched. “We have a load of craft beers, or if you’re more into spirits I could make you guys a-”

“I’ll have a vodka and light tonic, no ice,” Charlie interrupts. “A double. If you use regular tonic, I will know.”

“Charlie,” Phil hisses under his breath.

They exchange another loaded look, and again Charlie sighs, turning to Dan with a fake smile. “Please.”

Swallowing the urge to roll his eyes, Dan nods, then gladly turns his attention to Phil. “And for you?”

“Oh,” Phil says, like it’s only just occurred to him that he needs to order as well. “God, I’m so bad at deciding, err…”

As he’s dithering, Charlie sighs. “Are you cool to get these, Phil? I’m gonna go find us a table.”

“You don’t wanna dance?”

“Not in the mood.”

Phil nods, obviously disappointed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll meet you in the back.”

With that, Charlie is gone, slipping into the crowd. The look of distaste must be more evident on Dan’s face than he thinks, because Phil laughs at it.

“I know,” Phil says. “But he does have a few… marginally amiable qualities.”

‘Why have you chosen to be with someone that’s marginally amiable when you’re so great,’ is what Dan wants to ask. Instead, he simply shrugs, deciding to change the subject.

“Have you decided on a drink yet? I’d better get on with making his low-cal dishwater.”

Phil laughs a little, then leans forwards, his smile deepening as he leans across the bar. “Surprise me.”

Something sparks a roman candle in Dan’s stomach, and his skin prickles with the heat it creates. He drags his eyes free of Phil’s with some difficulty, nodding, and turns to make the drinks.

He prepares Phil a ‘PopQueen’ cocktail, which is one of their most popular. It’s inspired by popcorn, along with the trio of Pop Queens that rule the gay music scene: Gaga, RiRi, and Bey. The moscato vodka base is made from Italian grapes to represent Gaga’s heritage, the spiced rum is a shoutout to Bey’s favourite drink, and Riri comes in in the form of a smoky splash of passion fruit bitter. The rest is topped up with popcorn syrup, lemonade, a sprinkle of caramel popcorn kernels, and as many sparkly cocktail sticks as Dan can fit in.

He explains the whole concoction to Phil as he presents it, a little smug because he knows this is an impressive looking cocktail. It’s probably his favourite one to make; the Viniq shimmery moscato vodka makes the drink swirl and shimmer - always exceptionally pretty.

Sure enough, Phil’s mouth drops open at the sight of it. “Okay wow,” Phil says, chuckling. “I’m gonna get drunk tonight, aren’t I?”

“If that’s your plan, this should definitely help you on your way,” Dan says, laughing too. “I wouldn’t recommend having a second if you want to remember your evening.”

Phil leans forwards to take a sip of the PopQueen, moaning around the straw, much to Dan’s dismay. He plucks one of the popcorn pieces off and eats it, eyes closed. In related news, Dan struggles not to fall to the floor. “Dan, you are an artiste,” Phil says. “Popcorn is my all time favourite food.”

“Oh, wow, that’s... lucky, I guess,” Dan stammers, a swell of pride surging up into his chest. “Glad you like it.”

“So, how much?”

“Oh, on the house.” Dan smiles, sliding the cocktail across the bar along with Charlie’s vodka tonic. “I feel bad for not letting you in on the forfeit for Bingo last time.”

The look on Phil’s face softens into something so sweet Dan can taste sugar on his tongue.

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil says softly.

“It’s fine, really,” Dan assures him, all but sliding his elbows across the bar towards him. “I insist.”

A twitch in the corner of Phil’s mouth, and then he’s leaning across the bar. It happens slowly, but Dan still manages to be caught off guard. One moment, he’s watching, bemused, as Phil inches towards him, and the next there’s a light press of paper-soft lips to his cheek. A scratch of stubble grazes over Dan’s skin as Phil leans away.

“Thanks,” Phil tells him, smiling. “You’re sweet, Dan.”

And then he’s turning away, drinks in hand, slipping into the mass of people.

For the next few hours, Dan hopes for Phil to return to the bar for another round. He waits, eagerly, for this moment to come. Instead, Charlie is the one who brings his and Phil’s glasses back over, and waves to flag down Dan’s attention.

He nods in acknowledgement, finishing up the drinks order he’s in the middle of, and sidling over to Charlie. He forces a strained smile.

“Same again?”

“Yeah,” Charlie says, digging out his phone. “And a couple of vodka shots.”

He says nothing else, eyes glued to his phone screen. Dan waits for a moment before moving off, eyes stuck to Charlie’s face. He’s the kind of gorgeous that shouldn’t exist in real life. Unblemished, tanned skin. Clean, dark stubble, lacing his perfect, razorblade jawline. His hair is a swoop of glossy mahogany; even the cut of it looks expensive.

Charlie’s eyes flick up to Dan’s, obviously questioning why he’s staring, so Dan nods, embarrassed, and hurries to make the drinks. From a superficial standpoint, it’s obvious why Phil is with Charlie. Obviously, in Dan’s eyes, Phil is the most attractive man on the planet, but that’s just because he’s Dan’s type. Even he can tell that Charlie is objectively a beautiful human being.

It’s just a shame about everything below the surface level.

Dan pours the two shots Charlie ordered. “All together it’s twenty pounds, please.”

Charlie snorts, then pockets his phone at last. “Figures you’d give Phil the discount.”

He pulls out a twenty and slaps it on the counter.

“Sorry, I can’t give you guys free drinks all night.”

Charlie just stares back at him, a faint, knowing smile caught on his dusty pink lips. One of this thick eyebrows is slightly quirked, sliding an irritation under Dan’s skin. “Listen, Danny, is it?”

“Dan,” he grits.

“Dan,” Charlie says, leaning across the bar. “A little advice, yeah? Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.”

He downs both the shots in quick succession, baffling Dan, who is frozen, mortified, to the spot. Before his brain can thaw enough to stammer out some witty rebuttal, Charlie has swept the drinks off the counter, and is moving away.

Cheeks burning, Dan turns around, trying to calm his boiling blood. He squeezes his fists together, counting to ten, the way he makes himself after all encounters with dickhead customers.

“Hey, sweetcheeks, can we get some drinks over here, please?”

With a deep sigh, Dan unclenches his fists, and turns to the next customer.

At around one in the morning, Dan runs to the bathroom for a minute, and on his way, he sees Charlie. He’s against the wall of the club, near the DJ booth. There’s a muscular, dark-skinned man pressing him there; their faces are close. Dan can’t stop, he’s left Tyler and Dodie to the mercy of the drunks in their worst state - things get rowdy an hour before closing - and he needs to get back there. So, instead, he simply tucks the image away in his mind, to think about later on.

That man, leant against Charlie in a less-than-innocent seeming stance, was certainly not Phil, after all. As he exits the bathroom, he notices that Charlie is gone, as is whoever was with him.

At 1:55am, the lights come on. As usual, an enormous groan chants out of the crowd of patrons on the dance floor, followed by a few pairs awkwardly stepping out of the shadows, some squinting and eye-covering, and the slow, jelly-legged walk to the coat-check area.

“I think I just saw some guy getting up off his knees in the corner,” Tyler says despondently. “Shotgun not mopping the floor tonight.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Dan sighs. “On the dance floor? Really? Why can’t they suck each other off in the bathroom like normal people?”

“Oh, there were definitely people doing that in one of the stalls about an hour ago,” someone says to Dan’s right. The voice, for some reason, sends the hairs up on the back of Dan’s neck.

He turns, wondering when Matt’s voice got so low, only to find that Phil has perched himself on one of the bar stools, the dregs of his cocktail still in a glass in front of him. For a moment, Dan is too stunned at the sight of him to reply. Then, he registers that the lights are on, and cringes, knowing he likely looks frightful. Phil, of course, looks radiant as ever even under the harsh fluorescents, apart from a faint tiredness, visible in the dark circles underneath his eyes.

“You’re still here,” Dan comments. “I thought you guys had gone.”

“Charlie left,” Phil says, looking away from Dan. “Or I assume he did.”

Out of sight, Tyler catches Dan’s eye, making an obscene gesture with his hands before snickering and running off in the direction of the supply closet. Dan just glares after him, pink-cheeked, and turns back to Phil.

“Wait, he left without telling you?”

One of Phil’s shoulders moves towards his neck, then falls. “He does that.”

“Wow that’s… kind of shitty.”

As soon as the words are out, Dan regrets them. He can’t help but think of Charlie’s comment from earlier; it rings in his ears as if the guy had screamed it at him.

Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.

He was right, probably, though Dan had hated hearing it. He should stop being such a suck-up. It must be awkward and cringey for Phil to see Dan so obviously smitten.

Still, Phil throws him a faint smile. “It’s cool. He’s just a flaky guy. A bit of a princess. He grew up rich, so he’s always been a bit superficial. I’m trying to wring the bourgeoisie out of his blue blood.”

Dan snorts with laughter. “In my experience, you can’t filter the dickishness out of people very easily.”

There’s a silence, then. Phil regards him with a faintly curious expression.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Dan says once the silence gets too uncomfortable. He shrugs, grabbing the rag from his back pocket and starting to wipe down the bar. “I don’t know the guy, really. I’ve just had a couple of unfortunate experiences with him.”

“Oh no,” Phil says, face falling. “What did he do this time?”

Dan laughs, bitterly. “Don’t worry about it. He’s just a little mouthy, is all.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“So, when do you get to leave this place?” Phil asks, playing with his glass. He still hasn’t drunk the remainder of his cocktail. “Or do you sleep here?”

“On weekdays, the bar closes at two, so I get out of here at around two-thirty.”

“Christ,” Phil mutters. “And I thought my job was long hours.”

A laugh bursts out of Dan’s throat, but he covers it as best he can with a cough, turning away. Busying himself with ‘dusting’ some liquor bottles, Dan tries to compose a straight face. Is Phil honestly going to try and argue that his job is difficult? When was the last time that guy ever grabbed a broom, or handled someone’s sticky change?

In a minute, Dan is going to go into the corner of the dance floor, get down on his knees, and clean up some randomer’s come. A few weeks ago he saw Phil swanning about a five-star hotel in Korea. If AmazingPhil’s worst complaint is that he had to have a few questionable outfit choices put on him, and some silvery goo in his hair, then he needs a reality check.

Nevertheless, Dan knows that he can’t say any of this. Not only would he never dream of insulting Phil Lester, but it’s pointless to try and explain the differences between classes to someone in a privileged position. They’ve usually forgotten how to understand.

“Are you close by, at least?” Phil asks, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.

Dan turns back to him. “Kemptown. It’s half an hour’s walk, more or less.”

“You walk?” Phil asks, eyebrows skyrocketing towards his quiff. “At two in the morning?”

“Five in the morning on weekends,” Dan confirms, hiding a smile at Phil’s surprise. “It’s okay, you get used to it. Besides, it’s mostly just drunk idiots chugging cans of cider and threatening to run into the sea. Not too scary.”

Despite Dan’s reassurance, the look of pity and concern on Phil’s face doesn’t subside. After a while, Dan turns from it, feeling awkward. He busies himself with clearing away the last of the empty glasses, yawning into the crook of his elbow. Tonight was rough.

“You should crash at mine,” Phil blurts.

Sure he must have misheard, Dan faces Phil slowly. “Um, what?”

“If you’re exhausted, I mean.” Phil fidgets, fingers tapping against his glass. “Like, on the nights you can’t face walking all the way home, you can totally just sleep on my sofa.”

Speechless, Dan simply stares.

“The couch is pretty comfy,” Phil continues in a ramble, not meeting Dan’s eye. “And my flat is just up the road, literally like a minute away. I’m not saying, y’know, come over every night, ‘cause obviously… that might be an issue, but you can absolutely stay round on, say, Saturday nights when you finish later. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

He’s just being nice. That’s Dan’s only explanation. Phil Lester is a sweetheart of a person, and he got so worried about the hypothetical danger involved in Dan’s walks home, that he offered something big, even though he didn’t really mean it.

Dan is a stranger to him. He needs to decline the polite offer, and let Phil off the hook he accidentally created to string himself up on.

So, Dan forces out a small chuckle, and says: “Oh, no, it’s really fine. Thanks for the offer, that’s really good of you, but I quite like the walk. It’s a nice come down after a busy night.”

Phil nods, chewing his lip. He looks unconvinced. “I’m not just saying it, though.” His voice has dropped to a lower tone. “Like tonight… you’re so tired, I can see it. Just grab some sleep at mine before you head back across town.”

As soon as Phil mentions it, the quilt of his own exhaustion flops around his shoulders, dragging Dan’s bones towards the floor. He tries to picture the stumble back to his crummy flat in Kemptown, loathing each imaginary step.

“You barely know me,” Dan says - one last attempt at refusal.

Sensing he’s won, Phil smiles very slightly, then downs the rest of his cocktail at last. “I don’t know if it’s just me, Dan, but I have this feeling that we’re going to be good friends.”

(Part 4!)

#phan #phanfic #bartender au #phanfiction

231 notes · View notes

motheatencrow · 2 years ago

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BUG GAME MASTERPOST (AS OF NOV. 2022) TEXT-ONLY

heyhey! this isnt actually anything "official"! i just thought i’d make this for fun and to also spread around bug video games that others, who like the silly little critters as well, might enjoy!

(remember that this is as of nov. 29 2022 so if any game unreleased game on here is now released, it may have been after the date that this was made)

there will be 3 categories: released games, games to be released/are being developed, and honorable mentions

these bug games will also only list games where most invertebrates are the main focus of the game

other than that, i will be doing the following if possible!:

- what the gameplay is like (sort of. im not really good at explaining LMAO)

- where you can find these games (game websites may be linked if available instead!)

this is the text-only version! click here if you want the gif/image-heavy version!