#and thats not even covering the dwarves but then you go to thorin x thranduil and thorin x bilbo

[stegogosaurus]

hell is not other people, hell is trying to look up art of your ship on pinterest but one of them has dark hair and the other is blond so the site is visually looking up every pairing ever drawn with this color scheme, which is almost every pairing ever made. it's not even a question of not liking other ships I just don't know what to hyperfixate on first. im looking at everything bagel

[idjitlili]

Hey my names korg (2)

Part one hereee

Thorin x reader.

SUmmary:The man with rocks for heart ,and the Baggin's ,Bilbo isn't happy when he see's his sister sending heart eyes to the dwarven king of erebor.

Wordcount:1779

Previously on lost-uh what ever this is.

"how was Benedicts buns last week,I bet the were nicely clenched for yo-" Plus another ,you had lent down to the hobbit so you were face to face,blood shot ,fuming the steam coming out your ears.

"oh like I dont hear you at night to those fiction-""ENOUGH" Thorin had shouted ,like a lion defending its young,pulling you away from BIlbo gently.

"OI,don't touch my sister!"

So that was like a week ago ,and to much as your displeasure you had to share a pony;with Bilbo. That did not last long you had another argument ,in which he started! You had been shuffling around a lot due to the pony not being very comfortable down there, accidentally kicking Bilbo ,after half an hour he had enough.

"THis isn't a rocking horse,Y/N!" he had moaned out in frustration sitting in front on the pony,it didn't help that the luggage was digging into your back.

"Well,I'm so sorry,but I have a wedgie,don't you say oh well tough,becuase you don't have two pair of lips. Plus-" again the dwarves had became silent while riding to hear ,your petty sibling bickering,chuckling quietly,at you free speach,however bilbo had interrupted you.  

"STOp talking about that, just stop kicking me in the back!"

"I am not ,you squirrel!"

"Bitch."

"Jerk"

"you smell funny."

"that my mash p-" "but yet again you were interrupted by Thorin once again,you like getting his attention,so that he would remember you,or maybe one day doubt it though,like you.

"Y/n,come sit on the back of my pony." his voice surprisingly calm ,with that you hoped of ,almost skipping to Thorin's pony,in which he held a hand out for you. You had gripped his rough hand,smiling up at him,as he gripped back securing your soft hand in his,before you launched yourself up behind him. It was weird to see Thorin smile even a small one,he always wore a scowl,but when you had sent him that smiling he couldn't stop it.

Soon as you were on properly ,not going to fall,you had turned around to look at your brother,smirking. "I get a ride with a king,dildo." you spoke knowing exactly how that sounded raising your eyebrows suggestively at your bored face brother ,quickly doing a rude hand gesture ,you know,before turning back around. Kili and Fili and giggled to themselves like school girls. You had wrapped one arm around Thorin's waist not even think about it ,his eyes had went wide ,as his bestfriend had looked at him grinning at him eagerly,Thorin had sent him a scowl. However soon as he turned to face the path again , a tiny smile had tweeked up his lips.

Then from there out Thorin insisted you to ride with him ,to prevent bickering as he heard enough from his nephews. In which you did still bicker just less often,and you did ride with Thorin until the the ponies ran off.

Thorin wouldn't admit it but when you all were trying to get away from those orcs ,he made sure to stay near you,even putting himself infront of you when a warg had attack close up. Therefore after Gandalf had made you run down a secret path which led you to Rivendell,as Elrond arrived you had been pushed behind THorin by himself.

Soon you were all seated,eating the dinner the elves had served you all,if there was some mayonnaise,the salad would be much better ,but it was just plain. You could understand the dwarves distaste in the food ,you definitely wanted some chips,Ori had the right idea. You had put two slices of carrots on your mouth ,as if you were a vampire,and just stared at Thorin waiting for a reaction. However he was busy talking Elrond and Gandalf ,of course the dwarves had seen ,as well as your brother ,even Lindir.

"what are you doin-oh I see you are 'flirting'  with Thorin again." you had ignored his remark ,keeping your eyes on the king,intensely ,almost brooding.

{"well lads ,it seems its to be true ,she didn't even tell him to give an elf a blowjob ,because thats only as far as he could reach."}[was gonna put that in but decided against it]

It only took Thorin five minutes to look over to you,as the company pretended to be eating their supper,he had almost choked on his wine ,realising you had been staring for a while. His face wasn't in shock ;but amusement as he mouthed 'what are you doing?' ,Bilbo knew what was coming , he was embarrassed that you were about to do this infront of the elves.

You were never a bold one ,you were shy,but this move was going to be indeed bold ,but how else were you doing to win over Thorin.

You had stood up ,abrutely,walking close to the table where Thorin was , with your cloak on ready. The carrots still acting as flangs,everyones eyes were on you as you turned away from the king, using the cloak to cover the lower part of your face ,turning back to Thorin swiftly ,making the cloak spin in the air.  Now dropping the cloak from your face ,before pulling your elbows to your sides ,doing grabby motions with your hands ,screwing up your face slightly. "I vant to suck you blood. AhAhAh" Thorin had looked up at you confusedly.

You had sighed in defeat. "vhat t'was my vampyre impression," Thorin face showed confusion ,but you didn't know that was an act too. You had turned to Elrond ,still with the carrots ,sighing again. "may I be excused? Lord Elrond." you had spoken politely to the elf , he nodded at you ,"Lindir ,please can you accompany miss Baggins ,to her chambers?" he spoken looking up at his marchwaden. "Of course,my Lord." he had bowed his head slightly ,before holding out an arm for you to take ,in which you did.

You were more embarrassed than you could ever imagine,in honesty ,after thanking Lindir who walked you to your room ,stating he had liked your act . You had just jumped into the bath to cry a bit ,well until your door knocked ,throwing a robe on to answer the door ,to reveal your older brother. Who had comforted you ,as you had weeped into his lap,he was sat on your bed ,you laying on your side on his lap while he stroked your hair.

Bilbo was furious was Thorin,and that was an understatement. After he had tucked you into bed he had rushed to Thorin to give him a piece of his mind,not very friendly words were spoken,as he told the king to stay away his sister. Bilbo knew your feelings for the king were getting deep ,he didnt want you to suffer heart break ,he also knew that you rarely opened up to do impressions ,unless your intentions were meaningful. Bilbo had sucker punched Thorin,did Thorin react? no he didn't ,he had nodded before walking away.

BIlbo had kept you away from Thorin ,well that was until Mirkwood when he couldn't,magic ring,you did know about it,but were forced to keep it a secret.

Anyways you were attacked by spiders ,then taken prisoner by a blond elf,led to the greenwood realm,to King Thranduil. All of the company except you and Thorin were put in cells,but you two were brought to the elven king ,who had eyed you pair like prey.

He had taken it out on Thorin heavily before turning to you,literally like a head of a monster in a horror movie ,when they hear the person. "what is your name?" damn you were epecting him to be like why are you travelling with a bunch of hobos. "Y/n Baggins ,of the shire ," you had stated simply ,he had hummed in response. "Hobbiton,but you are not a hobbit?"he had questioned you,you had scoffed. "No,I am bloody moose,do I look three feet tall?no. Do I have huge hairy feet ? No ,I bloody do not,get a load of this guy,I am very much human."

Thranduil,was not happy ,circling you like roundabout. "I know that. Why such a pretty little thing would be travelling with pigs ,is unknown to me." you could almost hear the smirk in his voice. "I bet you are a joy,,you need a man that will be able to sa-""get lock ,I don't want to shag your skeleton ass."

"I never meant me,a women shouldn't be out with dwarves,they should stay home safe."Gandalf had told you tales when you were young about THranduil, and Gundabad ,about his wife,you did feel sorry for him ,but he was a pisshead.

"She can do as she pleases,not what a blumming fairy whats her to do. You should treat her with some respect, I vant you to do that ,hm?" Thorin had spoken up ,you had looked at him in surprise as he smiled lightly at you,he did the dracula thang.

That was that until,you all had made it to shore ,out of the barrels into the barge. After that last bit you both had angered him and he had stripped you of you cloak which you kept imitating dracula with it, so yeah you were freezing.  "yeah Bilbo gets to keep his stuff ,but noooo I have to freeze" you had mumbled yo yourself,only for Thorin walking of to you wrapping his arm around you ,as soon as you had felt the fire warmth from the dwarf ,you had turned fully head in his shoulder,due to his height,wrapping your arms around his waist to pull you close to him. He had now wrapped his other arm around you ,rubbing your back to arm you up.

That was it,you were fully into the dwarf ,not like that yet ,plus it would be him in you.

Part three?or no, If yes any ideas? or do you just want me to try force ideas out. I really love your support guys. If this is the last part then I would love some more Thorin or Eomer requests.

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Return Her pt. 4

The Company (and friends) x Reader

Bard is still cute, and the dwarves and Bilbo still don’t like ‘im

You could feel multiple pairs of eyes burning into you as you conversed with the friendly bargeman at the back of the ship. You tried your best to ignore them, but it was quite difficult considering that literally all of them were staring. You were situated on a small wooden box next to the long steery thingy that Bard was holding onto, looking up at him while the two of you conversed nicely with each other. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many drenched dwarves in one place before”, he comments after finishing a though, a small smile on his face as he glances down at you. 

You can’t help the giggles that erupt from you at his words. Your joy resounds around the boat and empty water that surrounds you all, but you don’t bother keeping your laughter at bay. “Implying that you’ve seen some to begin with?” You joke with amusement clear on your face. 

Bard’s smile widens as his gaze slides back over to the waters ahead, unable to avoid the glares being thrown at him by your group at the front of the boat.

“Well, I suppose that is fair. And what about you?” He questions.

A confused expression overtakes the joyous one previously on your face, not quite understanding what he was asking.

He notices your perplexity right away, so he rephrases. “I mean, have you seen it before? Have you been in a similar situation?" 

Ah, that makes more sense.

"No, not really. Things like this don’t happen every day”, You reply with laughter in your voice. 

A noisy squishing sound meets your ears as you shift on the box from your soaked jeans causing you to grimace. Wet jeans are, by far, one of the worst feelings ever. You reach down and tug at the legs of your jeans, pulling them down a bit to avoid the inevitable 'jeans wedgie’. You then reach up and rub your arms, shuddering slightly at the cold air biting at your skin through your long sleeved ringer t-shirt. 

Bard seems to notice your obvious discomfort and lack of warmth, and a look of concern briefly washes over his face. He releases the steering thing and shrugs his jacket off, leaning down and placing it gently on your shoulders.

Right away you feel a sense of relief from the sudden warmth engulfing you, causing an involuntary sigh to escape past your lips. “Gosh, thank you so much. It’s hella freezing out here.” You state with a slightly chattery smile. 

He gives you an odd look from the strange lingo you use, and you internally berate yourself for not managing your filter better. 

Regardless of his confusion though he still offers a sweet reply. “The lady is cold, I mustn’t stand by." 

You can’t help the slight flush that warms your face, and you pray that he takes it as a flush from the cold poking at your cheeks. 

The sound of groans and angry grumbling reach your ears from ahead, and you chance a glance over to your dwarven, and singular hobbit, companions. Everyone is still staring, hell even Bilbo is looking on with a sour expression on his face, but all you do is stick your tongue out at them. 

"I told you I can have friends!" 

The two of you continued to joke and share pleasant conversation with each other at the back of the ship while the others looked on jealously. Everyone was upset about this sudden friendship for their own reasons, but they could all agree that they didn’t like the way he was looking at you and so obviously flirting. 

Fili sat with his still wounded brother, and despite the injury on his leg they still found time to harp on something so ridiculous. 

"How can she not tell that he is making advances towards her? It is blatantly obvious…!” Bofur whisper yells to the rest of them, glancing over to the two of you when they hear another one of your jingling giggles. 

“Aye, look at the two of them. It makes me sick.” Dwalin grumbles out, glaring heatedly at the bargeman showing off so shamelessly. 

Bilbo doesn’t necessarily agree, though he does slightly understand where they come from. 

Thorin leans back against the edge of the boat, watching on with a glower of his own. That damn tall, handsome, deep-voiced bastard. 

“She’s practically got hearts in her eyes! Telling him some of her odd other world jokes, swooning and sighing like a dove." 

Suddenly, Bard leans down to whisper something to you that the rest of them can’t make out, and they absolutely bristle with anger. The nerve of this guy!

They watch on as your face lights up and you jump to your feet, eagerly reaching for the helm with grabby hands. Yes they had to admit that it was adorable, but the fact that it was him who was eliciting such cute reactions from you only made them seethe more. 

"Damn that bargeman” Fili hissed through clenched teeth, looking at his brother who only nodded in agreement.

The bargeman releases the helm and allows you to grab onto it before lightly placing his hands over yours to help guide you in steering properly. 

That definitely does not help group morale. 

You were practically vibrating with excitement when Bard asked if you were interested in steering his boat. You wasted no time in jumping to your feet and allowing him to instruct you on the correct way to hold and maneuver the steering stick. Of course, you hadn’t been expecting it when his arms suddenly reached around you and his large warm hands covered your own, but you found that you didn’t quite dislike it. 

By now your face was absolutely on fire, but you couldn’t help but smile broadly as you managed to actually control the ship a little bit. You stared out at the water for a time, but you couldn’t quite avoid the 13 pairs of eyes piercing into your very soul just 10 feet away. 

Your gaze slides down to the lot of them and the smile drops from your face when you see how tense and upset the majority of them seem. With a soft sigh you tilt your head to the side and look up at Bard, “Hey, I’m gonna go talk to them real quick before they decide to murder you. I’ll probably be right back." 

He nods in understanding and takes a step back to allow you to pass which you do with a grateful smile thrown over your shoulder before walking over to them. 

As you approach most of them look away quickly as if you hadn’t seen them all staring, and you can’t help but roll your eyes. You stop after stepping around Dori and take a seat with your legs crossed, allowing your eyes to slide over each and every one of them. 

"Come on boys, whats eatin’ ya?” You try to joke with a cheeky smile. 

All you’re met with are blank stares (and one snort from Bilbo, that sweet dear). 

The smile falls from your face when no one responds to your humor like usual, and you find yourself feeling bad all of a sudden which is totally unfair. All you were doing was being friendly with your host while they all acted like jealous babies, and you were the one feeling guilty? 

“Guys?” You try once more with a slight sadness seeping into your tone. 

The moment your face falls remorse punctures each and every one of their hearts, because, let’s be real, none of them could be mad at you when you were so darn cute (and slightly pitiful with those horrid bruises on your face). 

No one says anything still, and you can’t help the sad sigh that leaves you. Were they really mad at you? 

It’s Thorin who speaks up first surprisingly. 

“Relax, Y/N. We are not angry with you. You could say we simply are not used to sharing your attention with another." 

Okay yeah that did make you feel a bit better. 

"Is it because he’s tall?” Fili asks out of nowhere after Thorin speaks, and you can’t help but laugh at that. 

You laugh loudly for quite a few awkward moments, the only sound in the silent waters while everyone stares at you. “You did not just ask that!” You exclaim while still laughing, grasping at your stomach as you double over. “B-Because he’s… he’s TALL!" 

Honestly what he said wasn’t even that funny. Perhaps you were going insane. 

After a few more beats of your offhanded laugher it finally dies down, and positively everyone is staring at you with a mixture of different reactions. You wipe at a tear at the corner of your eye, taking a deep breath after all that laughing. "Wow, that was freaking hilarious. Fili, you should really do stand up comedy my boy, thats funny." 

You pause and the smile drops from your face instantly in wake of a serious expression, "No but for real, you guys have got to relax. I’m still your weird little human girl, and that isn’t going to change because I made a friend with a human dude. Scouts honor.” You hold up your hand at the 'scouts honor’ part, and give them a reassuring smile. “You guys are the first friends I’ve made in this place. I don’t know what I would do without you, and heaven knows what you’d do without me. Please trust that I care about you enough not to run off simply because some pretty bargeman shows up at our door." 

The worry and disdain has all but disappeared from their faces now, replaced with looks of awe and admiration. 

You can’t help but blush under all the attention and because of how real your little monologue go there. After a few beats of silence you clear your throat and rub your hands along the dry sleeves of Bards warm coat. 

"We’re sorry, lass.” It’s Bofur who speaks up first. 

Then Ori, “I was only a little worried.." 

Kili was next, "We know you are as loyal as can be!”

You got quite a few comments like this, and you couldn’t help the huge toothy smile from overtaking your features. “Thanks guys. Now, enough beating the elephant in the room-” You pause and furrow your eyebrows, “What the fuck did I just say?" 

That earned you some laughs. 

It seems that things have smoothed over quite a bit now which definitely lifted some of the weight from your shoulders. 

"We do still need to properly discuss what happened with Thranduil in Mirkwood Y/N”, Thorin told you softly after your admission of thanks. 

You knew it was coming, but you still couldn’t help the slight flinch at his name nor the grimace that weighed on the corners of your lips. “I-I know… But, I don’t think I…" 

Balin cut you off quickly, "It’s okay not to be ready, my dear. There will be no pressure to speak from us, so do not worry yourself." 

A smile, much smaller this time, points at your mouth as you give Balin a grateful peck on the cheek. "I really appreciate it… u-um, I’m going to rejoin Bard though if you don’t mind.” You didn’t wait for a response before getting up and walking back over to the steering bargeman. 

A slight red tint colors Balin’s cheeks, and the others aim their glares at him this time. 

“Damn you Balin.." 

You don’t know how long the lot of you had been traveling for when Bard glanced around the foggy waters and ordered everyone to pay up quickly and climb into the barrels. He was planning on smuggling them all into Laketown, but as of right now the whole plan seemed to be rather precarious.

Luckily for you, you didn’t have to get into any of the barrels. Bard explained that your cover could be as his deceased wife’s sister, and though that seemed a bit far fetched you still went along with it. Anything’s better than smelling like fish and getting slimy all over. Gross. 

He paid the men at the outpost, and before you knew it all your friends were being covered with pounds and pounds of dead, raw, smelling fish. 

"Hopefully nobody will find our predicament fishy…” You say loudly after you’re well away from the outpost with a huge grin on your face. 

You hear some pained groans coming from the barrels around you at your joke and you only get a couple laughs (thank’s Bard!). You walk over to the barrel one of the groans came from and kick it lightly, “Hey! Barrels aren’t supposed to have a bad sense of humor!" 

Before you knew it you were all on a straight path towards Laketown.