#and that's so sad to think about.
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Whenever my sister in law comes around and I see her and my brother and we talk about how she plans to decorate the new place once they have the keys and how she's buying stuff for it already and I just think to myself of how bad I wanna be doing that with someone I love who also loves me. And how it must seem so desperate of me to want to be loved this bad but I just do.
#and I'm like only getting older. and i think constantly about how like#imagine i just never get it?#and i know i have my friends. i know i have my family and stuff but jt doesn't replace anything. i can still want them.#i can still have those things and want to be loved in that way#and it's crazy y'know. in my time. 4 people I've known have been in love w me qnd it's never worked out. and yet I've only been in love once#(which is now)#so it's hard not to think it's me. anf that I'm just not destined to experience that kinda reciprocated love.#and that's so sad to think about.#because i do wanna be loved#and i do wanna be accepted#like ran anon said (🙄) i crave love and acceptance a lot. and it's so easy to tell.#and pretending I don't doesn't make it fo away.#i love love and i worry I'm destined to never experience it.#and god does that break my heart.
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It's always so weird to come down from the biology heavens to see what the average person believes about animals, plants, ecosystems, just the world around them. I don't even mean things that one simply doesn't know because they've never been told or things that are confusing, I'm talking about people who genuinely do not see insects as animals. What are you saying. Every time I see a crawling or fluttering little guy I know that little guy has motivations and drive to fulfill those motivations. There are gears turning in their head! They are perceiving this world and they are drawing conclusions, they are conscious. And yet it's still a whole thing if various bugs of the world feel pain or if they are simply Instinct Machines that are Not Truly Aware of Anything At All????? Help!!!!!! How can you look at a little guy and think he is just the macroscopic animal version of a virus
#yesterday i made a complainy post about a whale edit having people confused about whale sharks and orcas' dolphin and whale identity#but honestly i cant even hold these things against someone. its confusing that whale sharks are called with two different animal names!#and if you only know about the whale dolphin porpoise divide then you may not know that dolphins and porpoises and others are toothed whale#i dont think anyone is actually stupid for not having this information preinstalled in their brains#if anything it makes me happy to get to explain things because i love explaining things that i know :D#however... this#it just makes me sad :(#its so weird when this whole thing is subjected towards OTHER VERTEBRATES too like fish or reptiles or amphibians#like man.... you are a fish. your ancestors were buddy buddy (or actually probably enemy enemy) with the ancestors of these guys#fish are like a whole other class of animal to a lot of people dont even get me started#they never get the same protections as mammals or birds do even if they are just as or more endangered#mmmmm i wont rant now#biology
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“I can fix him” I couldn’t fix him and I don’t want to. I think he grew prone to biting and scratching in order to get by in a harsh world, and to me his resilience is part of what makes him so beautifully himself. I could be kind to him, though. I could show him gentleness. I could, slowly but surely, in the same way one earns the trust of a skittish stray cat, convince him that my touch will never come accompanied by pain. That, around me, he can allow himself to be soft. To relax. I could be the one he associates with warmth and safety, the one he longs to be held by after a hard day. I could be his home.
#I’m very sad rn so I’m doing what I always do when I’m sad: thinking about being gentle towards my abrasive Blorbo#self shipping#Self-shipping#self ship#self ship imagine#f/o imagines#romantic f/o
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"Why did I do that?"
close up
#transformers one#transformers#megatron#bumblebee#b 127#maccadam#megatron the terrible and his son B127#geniunly it would be so horrible if megatron ends up being the one to rip out bees voice box#like HES the one who found him in sub level 50#he knows#why would he do that to him#its geniunly so sad that they gave bee this backstory and that hes going to lose his voice#especially since they were once friends#well#i mean dee was bees best friend but bee was just the yellow thing dee tolerated LOOL#but still#it makes me so sad to think about#i would like to think that the smallest part of megatron cares even a little#not enough though
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oops, still feral over pre-war Dead End Dratchet






(drift: you're rusting at every joint gasket: but isn't that doctor chummy with the cops? we're literal thieves??)
started with the headcanon that drift hung around the clinic like a feral wet cat for a while, then halfway through shading these, I started thinking, what if deadlock was an especially reliable assassin because he knew what kind of damage would make sure that even the best of the best couldn't bring you back
#couple million years later#ratchet is performing autopsies and very determinedly not thinking about teaching that one kid which energon lines are most volatile#you ever get this image in your head of a guy lurking around the guy who saved his life and then think#guess i need to design a clinic#but because your dumb brain needs context you think i guess i need to design the surroundings so you start a daytime wide shot too#and then an even dumber part of your brain is like let's do it all in that fake etching style that you haven't totally worked out yet#and then you also get sad about gasket so you stick him in too#they're done at least we achieved something aaaaaaa????#transformers idw#maccadam#tf drift#dratchet#tf ratchet#ratchet#gasket#drift#mtmte#my art
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everyone be quiet i'm manifesting
#the bad batch#tbb#star wars#star wars the bad batch#sw tbb#tbb omega#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb echo#tbb tech#tbb hunter#mods art#mods draws#my art#YAYYYYY ITS DONE#i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think#just on and off#whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this#it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭#but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool#very self indulgent but!!! whatever#i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol#okay byeeeeee#ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD#okay bye fr
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Michael doesn’t like Halloween anymore in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#abby schmidt#fnaf gregory#fnaf 4#security breach#fnaf movie#listen this started as a funny grim joke#but the more I think about#I genuinely think Michael doesn’t like Halloween#and has not worn a costume since the events of fnaf 4#I CAN UNDERSTAND that the whole occasion just makes him numb now#so he truly hasn’t worn a costume since the foxy mask#something that use to make him happy as kid#is now just another month for him#sorry for this funny comic to be sad#ILL MAKE a comic where Michael’s happy again sometime promise 😔
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That's how it went
#tma#the magnus archives#tma podcast#magpod#mag 160#tma spoilers#tma s4#tma season four#jonathan sims#elias bouchard#my stuff#thats all i could think of after hearing elias talk abt jon being an archive#all jokes aside it makes me so sad and crazy to think abt it#like theres a lot in tma about losing ones humanity#and jons choices surely contribute to him losing it as well#but for the most part its him being dehumanised by others#well mostly elias and his plans of creating an archive of fear#jon going from 'a person having a position (the head archivist)' -> 'a person being a position (the archivist)' and finally to 'a position#(an archive)#its just so sad#and the fact that it ties with him losing bodily autonomy and being viewed like an object instead of a person#im dead on the floor crying#okay im done sorry#tma shitpost
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if we could stay connected, just like this
#ok last orbit niigo post im emubrained again and also i miss leoneed#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#mizuki5 spoilers#proseka#mizuki akiyama#mizu5#nightcord at 25:00#hurray !#meltdown released an amazing translation of the event so i read it and had my final cathartic transgender cry about it#and now i have ~4 assignments due on friday so i have to stop drawing mizuki. sad.#i recommend everyone watch meltdown's translation#please. its very good and better than the mtls floating around#i Get why people wanted to see it translated asap like i Get it i didnt understand half of the wordplay or kanji but like . wah#its so crazy how this event breached containment n how many people are rooting for mizuki even tho they dont play the game so i just#think its a shame that the translation everyones reading isnt really accurate/lacks the nuances.. Ok sorrynits a good event.#ive just been thinking abiut that for a few days and i love talking in tags. Adios#real Orbit heads will know this is an Heartorbit reference (that tarot card sketch i did almost 2 years ago and said i would finish)#(i havent finished shit)
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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CONTROL YOURSELF
#the substance#my art#your body as consumption vs consumption as your body and so on#still thinking a lot about this film. boy does it manage to nail the angle of simmering self hatred#but the line ‘is it getting harder to remember you deserve to exist’ has stuck with me. its sad but its also very resonant#and its an important reminder. there is no dissociative self you’re hurting. there is only you#the substance 2024#demi moore#margaret qualley
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you mean nothing to me
#transformers#transformers one#megatron wins custody au#megatron#bumblebee#b 127#maccadam#ough they make me so sad#i have soo many thoughts about them...#my AU is not happy at all sorry#bee isnt a decipticon hes basically factionless at the moment he just wants to be with megatron#megatron just hates him so much#bee reminds him of everything that he hated so much about himself#hed think about bee down there in sub level 50 for so long and he would just get so angry#his eyes that r still blue and remind him of the autobots of the miners of elita of orion#why wont they change color#why are they still blue#is he going to leave to join the autobots...?#his stupid son that he hates so much but he actually really does 😭#he just has so many mixed feelings on him#and bee is always trying to be a voice of reason and it just frustrates him even more#bee by no means has any decipticon values...#he doesnt agree with megatron he just didnt want him to be alone#i have so many brain worms that i want to share with all of u...
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the beginning and the end
#angsty sketch i did when i was sad thinking about deku#he's just so#ugh#i love him#mha#bnha#my art#digital art#digital illustration#sketch#my hero academia#deku#izuku midoriya#also i drew this before the last ch came out#i like the ending#it actually made me v happy for him
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blazamy band/idol au lalala
#im a little obsessed#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#wlw#amy rose#blaze the cat#blazamy#amaze#sonic the hedgehog#sth fanart#blaze sth#amy sth#band au#idol au#i know blaze’s bandmates are so random but i have specific brainworms about these 4#also i think it would be really funny#plus i want more blaze and whisper interactions so im doing it myself in this au#based on their skins from sonic dash/speed battle#im still so sad abt that file …#lesbian#sapphic#lesbian blaze is my world#lmk if u want more of this bc im willing to provide#sonic fanart#sonic
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Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara
They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them
But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd
The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>
#zutara#zuko#katara#atla#book 2 au#my art#i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭#so this is how i think it would go#it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls#she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire#she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko#and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj#even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!'#it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers#zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her#little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd#n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her#i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really?#zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful#and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald#in conclusion they are idiots your honor
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FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#pit bonnie#fnaf oswald#into the pit#fnaf sister location#william afton#SO THERES this concept I saw (and I also thought of) going around#and that’s the idea how pit Bonnie treats Oswald is similar to how William treated Michael#obviously not all the chasing and more spooky monster parts#but specifically a lot of the at home scenes#where pit Bonnie acts normalism almost like a stern father#I like this idea a lot it’s very interesting to think about#I can imagine Michael actually meeting the pit and being like yeah that’s like my dad#like that’s how he mostly remembers him too#it’s kinda funny and kinda sad#Oswald definitely just feel so lucky to have his dad#Oswald fr got the better end of the ‘fnaf parents’ stick 💀#love you Michael deserve so much more than you got 💜
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