#and that's kind of cheating because i was more of a jake fan than a taylor fan when they dated lmao

[taylortruther]

I too don't engage with Taylor's love interests projects-carers unless they match my own actual interests

what can we say, we like what we like! and it's not what taylor likes most of the time

[joesalw]

Hi, I'm an ex swiftie and I have so much to say about taylor swift. I have a lot bottled up inside and this felt like a safe space to get it out. I hope you don't mind.

I feel like taylor as an artist doesn't have an identity of her own anymore.

like billie, lana, sabrina, ariana, beyonce, shakira, britney, avril, olivia they all make a specific type of music. Although many of them have made genre bending music but It's common knowledge that not everything is for everybody. Now this is where miss swift comes in.

she was going great with her first three albums but then the shift from country to pop to alternate to pop again and now whatever the hell the toilet paper department is supposed to be has lost her off the rails. Her albums are more suitable to her boyfriends than herself.

red- jake gyllenhall ( indie record that's much cooler than mine) but red is actually a very cool indie record

1989- calvin harris (or one could say harry styles), he is known for making upbeat electro pop music

folklore, evermore- joe (listening to his interviews and the type of intellectual, introverted personality he has, not to mention he actually worked on the albums himself with her seems like the type of music he would listen to).

and TTPD about matty healy ( which is not the most flattering album)

her dating life isn't about her finding a soulmate or true love. It's about finding a temporary muse. she sticks to them like a leech and sucks until she's done and then moves on to the next victim.

I was actually very excited about midnights because it was painted as her "seizing her own identity" and "returning back to pop" especially with anti hero, lavender haze, mastermind and yoyok I felt like this time it was about her and her demons. not some villain in her life. It felt refreshing after her constantly victimizing herself. I loved the stupid "I'm the problem, its me" thing.

Now, after every breakup, her latest ex boyfriend has to pay the price for breaking poor little taylor's heart. But since she had been with joe the longest and during that long period of her time, she never said anything bad about him, put him up on a pedestal, she was so in love and content that we, the audience who have been with her journey with her numerous boyfriends felt like he was the one. he's the best one. there are no more problems. but then this does not last either. At first neither of them revealed the reason for the breakup. which was fine and it probably should've stayed that way because when taylor started to reveal more about it, that's when things started to go south for her

she tried to paint him as the bad guy. like he was such a terrible boyfriend, he didn't want to marry her because he was depressed boo fucking hoo. being depressed is not as big of a crime as she tried to make. It also doesn't help your image when you confess to emotionally cheating on the alleged love of your life about a fucking nazi.

Miraculously this time taylor didn't get away with it. She didn't get to date the nazi. so she proceeded to throw a tantrum on her latest "masterpiece" about how she hates her fans and she's so miserable and depressed. again boo fucking hoo. dragging old drama with kim and kanye out of which she came out the winner but also dragging their child into this?? (like what did the kid do to you?)

I hate how everyone conveniently forgot that taylor dated connor kennedy when he was still a minor (she was five years older than him) and immediately after his mother died, bought a house in his neighbourhood to get in his circle and crashed his cousin's wedding and when the groom's mother asked her to leave, she ignored her??(what kind of psychopathic behaviour is this?)

Not to mention the lack of support for palestine, after wanting to be on the right side of history, per formative activism, fake feminism, stealing candy from olivia who's like half her age or something, using sabrina to rub salt on her wounds, blocking charlie in the uk charts, and now trying to re-write history like "I wrote folklore and evermore alone on the phone with aaron and jack" Does this woman ever stop?

She lost a lot of respect with that one. The excitement i felt for midnights is gone. she hasn't changed, she will never change. But I'm tired. I can't keep up with her anymore.

Now what's going to happen? I'll tell you what. she and travis will break up and then she's going to drop another "masterpiece" and bitch and moan about how much of a terrible boyfriend her was. And its going to be in the genre that travis likes because taylor doesn't make music about herself, always about her boyfriends. She's not going to grow up. But I have. I can't put up with her anymore.

!!!

[shes4twnksinatrnchct]

Hell of a Show

Jake Kiszka x fem oc

Fifteen years after resigning from Greta Van Fleet, for reasons undisclosed to the public, Coley Payne is asked by her former band members to tell her side of the story.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, explicit language, angst, infidelity (*As someone who has been cheated on, I'm not trying to romanticize cheating)

Words: 3.2k

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has liked/commented/reblogged and even has just read this story so far. It really does mean a lot and I appreciate the support and your time! Thank you.

Please keep in mind this is a work of fiction and enjoy!

***LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED***

***Table of Content***

The Beginning: Part III

2013

It’s a relief to Josh not to have to pound his foot against the concrete of the garage floor in order to keep some tempo–the same it always is when Danny fills in during practices for Holton when he decides not to show. 

DANNY: I was a fan of the band before I ever really got close with them. Sam and I were in the same grade and were acquaintances, but once we realized we were into the same music and came from a family that enjoyed playing, his mom insisted on me coming to the house to jam with him and the guys.

The first thing I did was show Jake I knew how to play all of his parts from Highway Tune, and he was impressed but was also threatened I’d steal his band, so he suggested I fill in on drums, instead, when Holton would have to miss rehearsals.

Being over there more times than not toward the Fall of 2013 is how I met Coley’s little sister, Julianne.

Jules waits patiently for them to stop and take a moment before starting right back up again with their seemingly endless sessions of racket that happens to be melodic in an endearing kind of way, and when that time finally comes, she’s piping, “Hey, Coley, mom wants you to call her. They made it to Grand Rapids and they’re about to go to bed.” 

Glancing at Jake, who makes no face or even hints any irritation toward her, Coley says, “I’ll make it quick.” 

“You’re fine.” He promises, offering to take her guitar as she grabs her phone. 

As she does so, she sees multiple missed calls from Holton, too, and huffs out a breath before calling her mom back and stepping out the garage and into the night air.

“Hello?” It doesn’t ring but one time, Coley able to hear her two little sisters in the background as her older sister says something to them that makes them laugh. 

“Hey, Jules told me you wanted me to call you.”

“Yeah, your sisters and your nephew wanna tell you goodnight.” Tammy tells her, adding, “I do, too, but they want to first.” 

It sounds as though the phone is being snatched out of her mother’s hand because she hears her scold out, “Don’t drop it.”

“Hello?” It’s Maisie, the five-year-old’s voice ringing in her ears.

“Hey, Maisie, what’re you doing?” Coley asks, pacing the Kiszka’s driveway, glancing up at the starry sky while the chilled air fills her lungs. 

“We’re in bed—no, it’s my turn,” Maisie’s voice grows distant momentarily while Coley hears Kayce’s muffled voice. “Ugh, here, Kayce wants to talk to you. He’s not listening.”

“Okay, well, I love you, and I’m very proud of you, and I hope you have a good night, and have fun tomorrow, okay?” She replies. 

“Okay. I love you, sis, goodnight.” 

There’s a rustling through the phone before a loud, “Aunt Coley?” from her nephew sounds. 

“Are you being nice to Maisie?”

“...Yes…” He sounds suspiciously dishonest, and she smiles. 

“Are you having fun with mom and Gigi and the girls?”

“Yeah. We’re in a hotel.” 

“Ohh, that’s cool—”

“--There’s a man with us.”

“There’s a man with you?” Coley’s confused tone is overshadowed by her mother and sisters’ laughter. 

“He means the man in the lobby that checked us in!” Tammy assures her.

“Oh, well, he’s not gonna be in the room, Kayce. He just took Gigi’s money to pay for the room.” Coley explains to him. 

“Oh.” He says to her.

“Just be nice, alright? I love you and I hope you have a goodnight, dude.”

“I love you, bye, Aunt Coley.”

Again, there’s a transaction, and the comforting sound of Emmy’s flat, “What do you want?” is next. 

She’s being partially  sarcastic, but Coley plays along and scoffs out, “I was just gonna express my love for you but nevermind, dang.”

“I love you, too.” Her sister states.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” 

“No.”

“...Are you sure?” 

“I can do it with my eyes closed, Coley. I’m gonna get the stupid medal.” She says, next, and her older sister nods, only wishing she had half the confidence. 

“I believe you.” Coley assures her, clearing her throat. 

“Do you wanna talk to Sherri?” Emmy asks her.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I love you, goodnight.” 

“Yeah, love you.” 

“Hey, me and mom do not have a man in here with us.” Sherri pipes the moment she gets the phone, giggling. 

“I was about to head to Grand Rapids and bust the door down.” Coley laughs with her as Sherri adds, “No, he told Trace that, too. Everybody was about to be in the parking lot on us.” 

They laugh a moment longer and Sherri sighs out, asking, “How’s practice going?”

Coley glances behind her at the garage of boys laughing with Jules about something, and she shrugs. 

“It’s going. Holton’s not here.”

“Again?”

“Sherri, he just doesn’t wanna rehearse.”

“...But…he’s in the band? Bands rehearse. He can’t just show up to gigs and let Danny take his place for practices.” 

“I’ve tried to tell him that.” 

“I’m surprised Jake hasn’t kicked him out yet.” 

“Well…” Coley once again looks at the distracted group of boys. “...Holton told him that he hurt his foot pretty bad.” 

“But he didn’t?”

“No.”

“Okay, then why does Jake still think that he did?”

Breathing out, Coley squeezes her eyes closed and confesses, “Because I kinda told Jake that Holton wasn’t lying and I was there when he got hurt.” 

“Coley June—what happens when Jake finds out?” 

“I don’t know. I told Holton that he’s gonna mess around and get kicked out and he told me that Jake needs him so he won’t get fired.”

“No, you guys just need a drummer. And Danny’s doing pretty good from what I hear from Karen so Holton needs to tighten up.”

“I don’t even wanna think about him not being in the band.” Coley mumbles, kicking at a piece of gravel, knowing it’s going to be a clusterfuck.

“Well, sister, hate to break it to you but if Jake finds out, and also finds out that you helped Holton lie about it, you might be out, too.” 

“Jake would never kick me out.” She says it confidently, but she doesn’t at all feel secure in saying so, a new fear being planted in the back of her mind as she hears her sister yawn. 

“Alright, me and mom are about to get these kids to bed. We gotta be at their gym at the butt crack of dawn. I love you.” 

“I love you.”

“I love you, Coley! I miss you! Have a good day at school tomorrow!” She hears her mom say in the background. 

“Did you hear mom?” Sherri inquires. 

“Yes, I did, tell her I love her, too, and I miss her, and I will.”

“I will. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” 

She finally gets off the phone, her and her sister’s conversation haunting her as she turns to rejoin the boys.

COLEY: My two youngest sisters were in gymnastics and had semi-annual competitions in the Spring and Fall. 

Dad and Trace were working the night shift at the time, and so my sister took Kayce and went with my mom and the girls and Karen insisted we stay with them. 

Holton wasn’t thrilled with it, but he didn’t get a say because I was lying to my friends for him, and I thought that was enough consolation. 

Later that night, her blue eyes stare up at the ceiling in the dark of Veronica’s room, the only sound is that of the ceiling fan and Ronnie and Julianne breathing deeply in their sleep from the Kiszka girl’s bed. 

Coley’s been struggling with getting comfortable on the air mattress on the floor she’s laid out on while her mind races. 

She and Holton have been going back and forth over text for what seems like hours—her boyfriend swearing he’s comfortable with her staying with the Kiszkas overnight, but the passive aggressive comments and continued questioning of where she’s sleeping has driven her to near madness. 

After a few more minutes of closing her eyes and attempting to drift off, she accepts it’s all in vain and huffs out a breath with the sound of the TV still faintly muffling out dialogue from downstairs. 

She could have sworn that she and the girls turned it off before coming up to bed, but sits up and eases from the air bed to turn it off once again to save Karen and Kelly a higher bill—her parents already swear they need to start paying them child support with how often Coley and Jules are in their care. 

Blue light radiates through the living room, along with the faint sound of a man’s voice filtering from the speaker as the image of a cooking show becomes more apparent to her as she quietly tip-toes down the stairs. 

She doesn’t notice Jake laying on the couch, and he doesn’t say anything to begin with—staring at her in her big t-shirt and sleep shorts, a dopey grin overtaking his face at the sight of her. 

It’s when she begins her search for the remote that he says, “I have it,” waving it, causing her to damn-near have a heart attack. 

Perhaps it’s the most silent cardiac arrest, her knees gently hitting the carpet to keep from waking his parents, her hand over her pounding heart as shock and fear overtake her and leave her all in the same breath. 

The two of them laugh silently, Jake asking, “Are you okay?” while extending his hand to her. 

She grabs it, pulling herself back up to stand before peering down at him. 

“What the hell are you doing up this late?” She asks, glancing once again at the T.V., and he sits up and pats the space next to him, tossing the blanket back to invite her to join him as he says, “Couldn’t sleep.”

Plopping down next to him, Coley allows him to go without answering her question, instead taking in the cooking show that he’s been watching as the man in the kitchen on the screen explains what happens to onions when they caramelize. 

It all makes sense, now, why he’s such a good cook even at their young age—down to the most mundane grilled cheese somehow tasting gourmet when Jake’s the one who’s cooked it. 

Yet another thing that appears to easily come to him. It’s irritating. 

“Oh.” She shrugs, turning a little to her right to look at him as she continues, “I thought you’d be the sulky-strummer when you couldn’t sleep.” She adds.

“I do put my guitar down sometimes, Coley.” He states, a light giggle leaving her throat that has him smiling to himself at the sound of it. 

After a moment of quiet, the two of them watching the chef on the T.V. momentarily, Coley quietly inquires, “Are you okay?”

Thick brows burrows, his brown eyes crinkling in confusion. 

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” He tells her a blatant lie, but she doesn’t necessarily know that. 

“Because it’s 2:00a.m. on a Thursday night and you aren’t asleep.” She points out. 

“I’m a night owl.” He dismisses his lack of sleep due to torturous thoughts on the fact he has a natural affinity for staying up late.

Little does she know that those nights he finds himself wide awake by his own accord are the nights he does lull himself to sleep with the soft, comforting acoustic that stays within reach around his house…but nights like tonight, when the cause of his inability to relax and drift off is her doing, playing the very instrument—that is now synonymous with teaching her—only makes his condition worse.

He’s cursed himself to think of her anytime he picks up a guitar.

“What about you?” He nudges her with his elbow. “You’ve gotta test in Coach Flemming’s class in…” Tapping his phone screen to check the time and calculate how many hours from now that she'll be filling out a scan-tron in her Algebra class, his heart flutters yet simultaneously drops to his stomach at the sight of the text notification from Hope.

JAKE: Hope was a nice girl. 

We were never together seriously, but we did care about each other more than friends should. 

She certainly helped my confidence when I felt beat down by the fact Coley wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, and although I’m pretty sure she knew I was using her in a sense, she didn’t seem to mind. 

She just enjoyed pissing her brother off as much as I did. 

Coley hurts her own feelings by being nosy, glancing over to see the name of her boyfriend’s sister on Jake’s phone. 

A selfish part of her feels neglected from his lack of attention as he types back a response, and she pretends not to be irritated with the fact that he’s no longer solely focused on her—but the part of her who’s Jake’s friend is happy that he’s found someone for the time being. 

“How is Hope?” She inquires as casually as she can, trying her hardest not to sound bothered. 

Jake has to keep himself focused on his typing despite wanting to throw his phone on the opposite end of the room to look at Coley and just listen to whatever it is she wants to talk about. 

“Um,” He starts, chuckling to himself as he finishes his writing and hits send—locking his phone before Coley can glimpse over at what he’s said, “She’s good.” Is all he gives her with a shrug, his bare shoulder brushing hers as he does so, staring at the TV to avoid looking at her. “How’s Holton?” It’s as if he needs to remind her why he’s with Hope to begin with. “How’s his foot?” 

He tries not to roll his eyes as he asks it, not fully believing he actually got hurt. 

Perhaps if this wasn’t his third foot injury in the last year that conveniently works as an excuse not to show for practices, Jake wouldn’t even question the validity of said injury.

But being that Coley explained to him what happened, he supposes this time is the real deal. 

The question sprouts discomfort through her. 

“He’s still having some trouble with it.” She lies to him, brushing her dark blonde hair from her face. 

“Ah, divine punishment...” He scoffs, finally turning to gaze at her. 

“Don’t be a douche.” She scolds him, shaking her head. 

After a couple moments of quiet, he searches for anything to keep the conversation up. 

“Are you going to Lindsey’s party tomorrow night—well, no, tonight, technically?” He casually asks, having not heard a word out of her about it. 

“Maybe. It depends if Holton wants to go or not.” She shrugs. 

“If he can go to a party he can come to practice.” He states, raising his brows when she looks at him. “And just go with me and Josh if he doesn’t. Sam’s gonna D.D.” Jake tells her. 

“If I get caught drunk in a car with Baby Kiszka behind the wheel, I’ll never live to see White’s Bar, let alone get to perform there Saturday night.” Coley tells him with a warning in her tone while he groans about how boring she is. 

“You used to be fun, once upon a time.” He mumbles, partially joking. 

She takes in a deep breath, looking at him as he pretends to pout. 

“One of us has to be the responsible one, Jake. I don’t see it being you or Josh so I’ve gotta do it.” 

“If you’re the responsible one the rest of us are fucked.” He says, next, and she once again swats at him, which leads to him fighting back, which in turn results in her using one of the throw pillows behind her to try to cover his face. 

In the thick of their wrestling, they lose track of their movements until he’s snatching the pillow from her and tossing it aside. 

As they gasp for their breath and come back to their surroundings, his smile fades and he just stares down at her in the light of the television, taking in every feature of hers as if trying to draw it up to store in his memory the best that he can. 

Coley looks up at him, her body somewhat paralyzed by the fact that he’s over her, his hands on either side of her head, his body caught between her legs as the warmth of his skin radiates over her. 

A terrible feeling washes through her with the reality that she likes having him this close. 

She rubs her lips together while Jake watches her do so, wishing to taste them. 

We’re not shitty people who cheat, he repeats her words in his head multiple times when she doesn’t make a move to get up. 

Although he and Hope aren’t exclusive, so technically he wouldn’t be cheating, he can’t bring himself to drag Coley into a position in which she’d potentially cheat on Holton—knowing the guilt would eat her alive. 

If she had any sense she’d get out from under him and go to bed, and he waits for her to do so, only she doesn’t. 

COLEY: It was a shitty thing for me to do…

It’s not rushed or heated when she cranes her lips up to meet his.

It’s slow, and gentle—her soft fingertips resting on his cheek—and new. 

Of course they’ve kissed other people before, sloppy makeouts with classmates every now and then that occurred while drunk or high, one-night flings on Jake’s part, and Coley’s got Holton…but there’s something so simple yet complicatedly addictive when actually doing it with each other. 

He’s the first to pull away, expecting her to come to her senses and beat the shit out of him for actually kissing her back. 

However, her mind is void of anything but him, selfishly so, chasing after his lips and getting them within milliseconds of him pulling back. 

This time her lips part, his tongue sweeping across hers somewhat sweetly as a quiet breath leaves her, her fingers threading through the soft tresses of his brown hair.

But then her boyfriend manages to wedge his way back into her mind, and rip her away from her escape. 

Jake feels her tense underneath him and moves back, breaking away from her to catch his breath as she gasps for her own, her stomach turning and her eyes watering as she scrambles to sit up and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand while he sits on the cushion opposite of her and refuses to look at her. 

“I’m sorry.” He says, unintentionally furthering her shame as she shakes her head and insists, “No, no, Jake, I am. I’m sorry,” while trying to gather her thoughts. “I’m gonna…” She trails off, unable to even put it into words as she gets off the couch. “I’m sorry,” Is the last thing she says to him before rushing back upstairs— with her heart feeling as though it’s going to beat out of her chest— to rejoin Jules and Ronnie as if she never left to in the first place.

COLEY: …I don’t think there’s much more to say about it than that.

.

.

.

.

.

@edgingthedarkness @zooweemama555 @lizzys-sunflower

[4am-enha]

hi omg i love your taekwondo one shot 🩵🩵 could you do the member’s reaction to having an s/o that boxes or spars?

enhypen when: you’re a boxer. 🥊

description: the ask above! ^

genre: comfort, fluff, short paragraphed notes/thoughts.

pairing: ot7 enha x gn boxer reader

note: hiii! omg yes but some terminology or things may not be accurate because i actually don’t know much about boxing! i tried to do some research though~ sorry if this isn’t up to your standards/not what you expected!

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★

Heeseung is the type of s/o who always wants to try out something athletic. When he found out that you box- he internally geeked. He thinks you're super cool and he kind of looks up to you in a way.

You inspire him to try and learn the sport, and when you agree to teach him some techniques he gets hype and is passionate about it. He is super focused and listens to you closely, but he gets competitive easily.

He’s actually a little jealous that you're stronger than him and when you do some open sparring together he gets frustrated when he begins to lose quite easily against you. His inner urge to be protective of you gives him hell when he knows you're more than capable of taking care of yourself- so capable you could probably protect him more than he could.

Jay becomes a little nerd. He is constantly found doing some research on his laptop or his phone (for on the go) on how to take care of an athlete properly. He makes it his number one priority to provide you with all the care you need, as if you were a unique pet or something. He looks up recipes and meals and cooks them for you, making sure you get the protein and strength you require and to keep you strong.

He randomly buys you more equipment even when what you have is already fine. He wants you to have all the new cool gear you could ever want to make you feel confident while you're in the ring, but he also secretly wants your training partners to see how much he can spoil you.

When Jake saw you spar and box for the first time, he instantly made it his whole personality. This man brags about you to EVERYONE you meet. If there's a few seconds of silence, he's immediately going to fill it with stories about how amazing and talented you are. It's always “well my s/o is way stronger than you so” or if someone started hitting on him, his response would probably be “my s/o WILL beat your ass”.

He pretends like he knows the rules and what's going on when he watches you, but he really has no clue. He is just happy to see you do your thing. He commonly makes “oohs” and “ahhs” noises while watching you- covering his eyes every so often when he cant make himself look at a nasty throw.

He also loves to make you specialised playlists to get you hype during your conditional sparring, but what he doesn't realise is justin bieber songs do not really count as “hype” for boxing practice.

Sunghoon gets really jealous when he watches you spar with absolutely anybody that isn't him. He silently keeps tabs on everyone you work with and he sits there analysing to make sure they dont take it too far or try to cheat. He will criticise and intimidate your opponent a lot when you aren’t looking because he thinks you're the best there is and he refuses to accept any less.

If you happen to lose a match- before you can even turn, Sunghoon is already arguing with the ref and other coaches, even if it was a really fair game. He might know how to embarrass you a little bit but he is really just looking out for you the one way he knows how.

Boxing isn’t really Sunoo’s thing but he LOVES to cheer you on. If you have 100 fans, Sunoo is one. If you have 10 fans, Sunoo is still one. If you have 1 fan, it’s Sunoo. If you have 0 fans, Sunoo has died. He is really like your number one cheerleader at every single match and session you have.

Sunoo loves glaring at and side-eyeing anyone who cheers for your opponents. He will automatically make it his number one mission to cheer louder than them, as if it was a life or death situation. He will sit down and get crafty making obnoxious signs and posters to show you off and support you.

Jungwon is a little scared of you, but it's more what you're capable of that he is scared of. In fact he is scared for your opponents and sympathises with them a little because he knows you're going to win no matter what. He is definitely your personal mental coach in boxing. He is always trying to give you the best advice, mentally prepare you, remind you it's okay to lose and not to get ahead of yourself.

Most importantly he nags you to not get hurt. Like, constantly. If there was a day that he had not brought up your safety- something is wrong. He turns up at every competition with a full first aid kit and too many bottles of water to count. On the rare occasion when you do lose- he still takes you out and treats you like a worldwide winner.

Niki loves the fact you can box because intruding on your practice is one of his favourite things to do. He loves constantly messing around and playing with you. He never takes it seriously, but instead makes sure you don't overwork yourself by making up little games. Of course he always cheats though and it often ends up in him tackling you in one way or another.

He will wind you up just to see you get pouty and upset with him because he finds it adorable, but he makes sure not to take it too far because you will 100% crush him. He takes the most unserious 0.5 photos of you in your gear, tells you to smile with a mouth guard in and makes it his wallpaper on every device he owns and his profile picture on every social media he has.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★

note: thank you for reading, i hope it wasn’t too bad! it’s been a while everyone~ i’m sorry! i have been very burnt out and i don’t like releasing stuff that i don’t give any effort into. asks/suggestions/requests are always welcome. i may not reply quickly or possibly at all, but i do write what i can 🫶🏻.

thank you for almost 300 followers, you are loved and appreciated!

🩷

[themiimagebehindfire]

Jake is not a hero. He is a person with flaws.

The finale isn’t ‘hero Vs villain’ it is a test of ‘who is willing to put in the effort to be the best version of themself’

It’s this reason I find issue with how fans of Disventure Camp treat him. On BOTH sides of the coin. The “Cinnamon Roll who did nothing wrong and his trauma excuses all his bad actions” AND the “Worst human being on the planet who deserves the worst and trauma means nothing”

It’s ALWAYS one or the other. At least it seems that way for most. And I think both do a massive disservice to what Jake actually is.

Jake is a VERY flawed character. He does a lot of irrational and bad choices. Many claim he’s straight up unlikeable. And they’re… right.

”But wait? How could he be the moral superior to Riya if he’s unlikeable?”

Because this show isn’t fantasy. It is a down to earth reality show. There’s no such thing as a perfect hero in a show setting like this.

And in regards to the trauma card. Here’s the thing: I personally am happy that Jakes trauma was never used as a ‘my past made me more heroic’ narrative. Because that isn’t how it works. Trauma doesn’t make you a hero. It makes you a pain in the ass to deal with.

Some characters sympathize with him. Some don’t. That’s just how it is, and they’re not wrong for not sympathizing.

It baffles me to see people brush off all of Jakes flaws and bad actions.

He is emotional. He is irrational. He is paranoid. He is impulsive. He is clingy. He is gullible. He is selfish. He has a temper problem and a trust problem. He annoys the other characters so much they hate him right back, some of these people not even doing anything to deserve it.

But also… why wouldn’t he be like this?

He’s a byproduct of reality TV that exploits him and the people around him to act in the name of drama and entertainment. That’s the case for most of Disventure Camps characters. But on top of that he came from a cold and distant household that didn’t accept him for who he was, the only family member that did show him love and care died while he was on the show, he’s been surrounded by the concept of loss, he was used and cheated on, by several people who betrayed him, he was given death threats in interviews and in person, by people exploiting him as this awful person, and the one dude who promised to stay in touch with him broke that promise and ghosted him for two years.

His backstory and the events of the show informs his character and why he acts the way he does. But it, in no way, makes his behavior okay. Nor does all of this ‘make him better’.

I imagine most of us would act like him if we were in the same shoes.

That’s why it ALSO baffles me regarding the hate that he gets.

Now let me make it clear: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO NOT LIKE JAKE AS A CHARACTER.

“I don’t like him cause he’s annoying” “I don't like him cause he’s not my cup of tea” “I don’t like him cause I have some issues with his story throughout the show” Are VALID. I totally understand that.

But I’ve seen some INSANE comments that take it a step further in saying things like “Jake is the most morally awful character” “Jake is unconditionally horrible” “Jake deserves all the suffering he gets” “Jake deserves to die” “Jake should’ve kys’ed” (That last one is DISGUSTING)

And that’s just flat out NOT TRUE.

He’s worse than Yul and deserves worse than Yul? A abusive racist/misogynist, attempted poisoner? Worse than Fiore? Who toys with people, abuses them, gaslights them, and also willingly killed people in VR even though she didn’t have to? Worse than Riya? Whose whole thing is she acts/becomes a sociopathic narcissist who attempts murder multiple times? Jake is WORSE than that? Come on now.

Jake DOES have redeemable qualities. Regardless if you want to see them or not. He is capable of being very kind and considerate, and bringing out the best in certain people, and also being a motivator for them. Regardless if you want to see that or not, that is there.

On top of that, AGAIN, his story explains why he acts the way he does. If there was no context, it’d be a different story. This is a guy so starved of love and care that he craves it from other people. This is a guy who was hurt and betrayed and dejected by so many people with negative intentions towards him that he DOES NOT FEEL SAFE trusting everyone and everything he sees. He feels like he himself is so broken that he can’t trust his own brain to think for him, because who he is will only make people want to hurt him.

And you’re expecting him to be friendly and considerate towards everyone right off the bat all the time? NO.

Just say you don’t like him, just say he annoys you, just say he’s not your cup of tea, just say you don’t like what the writers do with him, and move on.

You don’t have to go out of your way to try and prove he’s this danger to society that needs to be executed.

Cause um, news flash, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LIKE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE THINGS WRONG WITH THEM. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.

The morality game is kinda tiring if you ask me. NONE of these characters are always going to make the right choices. They’re gonna do messy stuff for that million dollar prize. That’s the game.

Had Jake been set up by the show as this endlessly selfless noble hero that went through an incredible journey, then him LOSING to Riya would feel like a punch to the face. Especially if this was a black and white show.

But because he’s NOT a hero. Because he’s got stuff wrong with him, has made several mistakes, has made steps both forward and back. It is a more believable ending than if he did win.

It’s almost like this game isn’t as black and white as the group that named themselves the ‘Villains Alliance’ want you to believe. Didn’t Gabby and Ally go through that dilemma regarding their respective betrayals of the ‘heroes’? You’d think they’d turn into the Devil incarnate for these betrayals. But they don’t. They’re looking out for themselves for their own personal reasons and the villains alliance was the more convenient option for what they wanted. That doesn’t make them villains. That makes them flawed people siding with people who call themselves villains.

All Stars main theme is working towards being either the best or worst versions of themselves. And in that sense, then are you surprised Jake was the finalist over a more morally heroic character?

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Thank you for creating A-town it is really funny and I am actually invested now.

Thank you! Further headcanons about A-Town, the shitty decade-postwar sitcom inspired by Jake Berenson's life:

Brandon A., the main character, is easily the least popular one on the show. He's usually the straight guy to his friends' antics, he constantly cheats on his girlfriend Crystal (including with his cousin Trina), and he's underbaked compared to all the wacky side characters. (Jake, if asked, doesn't care that everyone hates Brandon.) (Jake's a liar.)

The most popular fan ship is Gina/Trina, also called Team Gets Shit Done. Not that anyone ever really gets much alien-fighting done ever on the show, but at least those two are marginally less incompetent than the rest of the cast.

Far and away the most disturbing fan theory (from Jake's point of view) is the one around Trina and Brandon's cousin Zeke who gets killed off in an episode with a million jokes about everyone only pretending to be sad he's gone... only to have that same actor appear in a different minor role two seasons later. There are all kinds of elaborate Epileptic Trees-type explanations for this mistake, including that there's a secret seventh morpher who took on Zeke's identity to get close to Trina.

Jeremy Jason McCole makes a Special Guest appearance, of course — guy was the public face of The Sharing for 0.03 seconds, after all. His character (at JJM's insistence) is a heroic civilian who gives aid to the fauximorphs while they're on the run from The Gathering, and sacrifices himself to get captured by the aliens so the kids can escape. In theory this should have consequences for the plot — he knows the identities of the entire resistance movement — but in true sitcom fashion, it... doesn't.

Speaking of The Gathering, Ash Lewis, who plays Daisy A./ Zeptron 420 (Brandon's older sister), is the breakout star of A-Town. Much like Alfie Allen in Game of Thrones or Dylan O'Brien in Teen Wolf, it isn't clear how much of this is down to talent and how much is down to her just being given more to work with than most of her costars. Either way, she's the blonde bombshell who builds her way into Hollywood heartthrob fame.

...with a little help from costar Marco Alvarez. Because the whisper network is what it is, and Ashleigh "Ash Lewis" Lewandowska would never make it to the A List if anyone knew about the steady girlfriend she has at home. Despite playing a teenager, she's within a year of Marco's age, and she initially suggests the two of them get seen on a few date. Marco does one better, finding her half a dozen "boyfriends" to keep the vultures happy long enough for her to start getting blockbuster roles. By far her most attention-getting "fling" is the single date she goes on with the very inspiration for her A-Town character: she and Tom Berenson (with their respective girlfriends' permission) get exactly one dinner together at the most tabloid-trafficked restaurant on Sunset Boulevard, a headline too good to pass up and a highly effective murder to the next decade's worth of rumors about her orientation.

More A-Town headcanons here and here.

[maya-matlin]

Can you believe I'm sending you a Degrassi ask? I mean, I only send you like 12 a day, so try to contain your shock ;) 1. Choose 3-5 ships that weren't endgame but which you'd make endgame if you could (does Sellie make the cut?!) 2. Choose 3-5 ships that WERE endgame or at least implied endgame that you like the least 3. Pick three characters who you genuinely multiship, ie love two or more of their ships more or less equally (so, for example, I'd probably choose Maya as one of mine because the more I rewatch scenes the more I love zaya and camaya almost equally, just in different ways!) 4. Rank these female protags from your favorite to least favorite: Caitlin, Emma, Clare, Maya and Frankie (poor Frankie--I always forget about her!) 5. Pick just one favorite and LEAST favorite ship for each of these characters: Ashley, Paige, Emma (what is wrong with me that I ended up not liking any of her canon romances much?!), Jimmy, Spinner, Craig and Manny. Enjoy!

LMAO I love you

5 ships that I wanted to be endgame:

1.) Joey/Caitlin (I'm in the minority of fans who actually enjoyed the adult story lines during the early years. Even before I watched the original series. But it's so irritating that the two of them were needlessly broken up for Kevin Smith)

2.) Sean/Ellie (We've talked about this. Their relationship was so sweet and healthy and good for both of them. They deserved a happy ending)

3.) JT/Liberty (Again, they deserved a happy ending. The pregnancy ruined everything. Both JT and Liberty mishandled things and weren't getting proper guidance at the time. But they never fell out of love, and I 100% believe they would have ended up together had JT not died)

4.) Zoe/Grace (This just makes me angry. I'll always be bitter than the writers wouldn't just let them date. I never felt their eventual endgames were ever as genuine as what they shared with each other. I also struggle to buy that Grace liked men, but it is what it is)

5.) Craig/Ashley (Call it wishful thinking because Craig was such a mess, but I think he was always at his best with Ashley and that she was the only love interest he truly loved. I like to imagine that once Ashley finds her own independence and individual success and Craig gets copious amounts of therapy, they'll find each other again. If they haven't already TBH)

5 endgame couples (implied or otherwise) that I don't like:

1.) Eli/Clare (I won't subject you to another rant about them, so I'll just say I disagreed completely with giving those two a happy ending)

2.) Jake/Katie (I'm going to be completely honest. I didn't care about Katie's happiness, and I really liked Jake. It was that simple)

3.) Jonah/Grace (It felt forced to me, and I didn't like how Frankie was painted as being irrational and insecure for no reason only for Jonah to eventually admit he DID emotionally cheat on Frankie with Grace)

4.) Winston/Goldi (They were just kind of there. I don't have any feelings about them one way or another. It just felt tacked on. I feel like Winston needed the relationship more than Goldi did because the Next Class writers gave him so little to do)

5.) Jimmy/Trina (Again, they were just kind of there. We barely got to know her character, and it's odd that they randomly got engaged so quickly)

Three characters that I multiship almost equally:

1.) Drew Torres - Drew/Bianca & Drew/Clare (I wouldn't say exactly equally because I think Bianca complemented Drew better than anyone, but I also loved what Clare brought out in him. I'll always be sad they weren't given the chance to have something more)

2.) Spinner Mason - Spinner/Paige & Spinner/Darcy (I prefer Spinner with Paige, but I'm always torn every time I watch High Fidelity. Both dynamics are good for different reasons. Even though I ultimately think Spinner loved Paige more considering he was on the verge of picking her over Darcy, Darcy also accepted and loved him when he needed it most. She inspired better in him than Paige did. So basically, I'm torn over these two ships that were nowhere close to endgame)

3.) Sean Cameron - Sean/Ellie & Sean/Emma (Again, I have a preference. Sellie or bust. But if we're talking about seasons 1-4, it's closer. Had that triangle had the chance to play out with Sean never moving away, Semma could have been written better and it would have been a closer match for me)

Rank female protagonists in order:

1.) Maya Matlin (Obviously)

2.) Emma Nelson (It's actually super close and based on how I'm feeling today. It could be Clare tomorrow. Or even Caitlin. I just feel like even though I didn't love a lot of Emma's questionable writing in the middle years, she had so much variety in story lines. It's also the early TNG bias. I can't help it)

3.) Clare Edwards (Clare may have been a divisive character, but it's hard to deny she carried seasons 10-14. She was literally around for the entire era of 40+ episodes. She wasn't my personal favorite, but I still really liked her and what she brought to the show. She'd probably be higher if her love life didn't hold her back from experiencing more growth)

4.) Caitlin Ryan (Again, still close. She was great, and had a decent variety of story lines. But some of the TNG years stuff could be hit or miss. Kevin Smith? Jesse? The writers had it out for her for some reason)

5.) Frankie Hollingsworth (Her character was all over the place and mostly overshadowed by more interesting characters. To be honest, I think Frankie was pushed as the main girl because she was white. Not because she suited the role best or was the most interesting. The Hollingsworths got old towards the end)

Fave/least fave romances:

Ashley:

Favorite: Craig/Ashley

Least favorite: Can I choose Ashley/Alistair? If not, Jimmy/Ashley. They were never compatible, and their season 5 reunion wasn't believable or needed.

Paige:

Favorite: Spinner/Paige

Least favorite: Matt/Paige, because fuck her grooming, predatory teacher

Emma:

Favorite: Sean/Emma

Least favorite: Peter/Emma

Jimmy:

Favorite: Jimmy/Hazel, but I also liked his potential with Ellie

Least favorite: Jimmy/Ashley

Spinner:

Favorite: Spinner/Paige

Least favorite: Spinner/Manny

Craig:

Favorite: Craig/Ashley

Least favorite: Craig/Ellie. I don't care if they weren't technically canon. They were the worst.

Manny:

Favorite: Jay/Manny

Least favorite: Mick/Manny, honestly. But other than the two guys no one actually remembers, Spinner/Manny.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Re: the extra scene-

(It’s CMA)

Omggggg this is so, so cute!!! Also Ben being so aware of her throughout the entire day 🥺🥺

Does Lottie know she’s in love with Anthony?

Omggg after they get engaged Anthony is going to walk into his study after he talks with her father and the chair is going to swivel around (idk if they had those then but shhh just go with it) and it’s going to be benedict going ‘well well well what do we have here’ and Anthony is like ‘u don’t even live here anymore???????’ And Ben’s negotiating the terms of their engagement, even tho anthony just did it with her dad. And at the end Ben is going to be like ‘have I made myself clear’ or whatever and Anthony is going to be exasperated and so over it and he’s just like ‘yes are you done’.

(Bonus: Ben did not expect him to be so forthcoming and so he keeps adding on stipulations to the agreement by going ‘and one more thing!’)

Idk I’m just imagining Jake peralta and captain holt from b99 vibes but idk if you’ve seen that show. Maybe rob Swanson and Leslie Knope but I’m less familiar with that show. Just Ben way too high on having the power over his brother for once. I mean I know that’s not entirely Ben’s vibes but also it’s silly and fun so who cares

Ben being worried he’ll be a bad husband and we all know he’s actually worried about like… being too chatty or accidentally killing a rose bush by pouring paint water on it or something. (Also though if that did happen Ben would feel awful but I hope clover would be mature enough to realize it was an accident like how she was with teddy but I doubt she’s in that place yet).

But anyway I don’t think he’s really worried about cheating or anything cuz I don’t think that’s in his nature nor being violent, despite what clover keeps insinuating, and I think he knows that he’s so in love with her that he wouldn’t want anything else or whatever.

Also though I am such a fan of the trope where the one who is worried about being cheated on is the babysitter when the other gets giggly drunk and just their drunk adoration is enough to reassure them like even if they’re inebriated they still love me. Like the whole drunk words sober thoughts kind of vibes?

And idk I feel like there might be a reverse of lady danbury’s luncheon where the guys shoot the shit together and Ben gets giggly drunk. It’d just be so cute. (Wait no I really want to see this now) (stop I’m in love with my own headcanon lmfaoooooooo)

Okay I’m done (I think). I just love this extra scene so much (and this entire story if you couldn’t tell lmfao)

CMA HI MY LOVEEEEE! ❤️🥰

Charlotte kiiiinda has an idea but not really ❤️ She convinced herself Anthony would never fall in love with her, so she is trying not to think about her own feelings for him because she thinks it's hopeless❤️ So she thinks he's the most amazing person in the world but she ignores the fact that she is completely in love with him ❤️

Lolll oh Benedict will give Anthony hell when Anthony proposes to Charlotte and afterwards😂 Like, he will make things much harder than Charlotte's father did! 😂

I've seen both of those shows, I totally know what you mean!❤️

Oh absolutely! ❤️ Benedict knows he would never cheat on her or do anything to hurt her, ever ❤️ But like, he's worried about saying the wrong thing and hurting her feelings or something, because all the relationships he had so far were physical or just not serious, and now he's actually married 😂 So he's sooo freaking out 😂

WAIT OMG-

I LOVE THIS IDEA?! 😱😍 Benedict getting drunk and Clover being totally sober, listening to him ramble about how pretty she is with a smile on her face awwww🥰 We need that scene! 😍

Thank you so much darling! 😍 ILY! ❤️❤️❤️

[onecornerface]

Against against Dream

Dream and his crowd (GeorgeNotFound, Sapnap, TommyInnit, Tubbo, WilburSoot, Quackity, etc.) take so much flack, largely for very weak reasons. They make some mildly-to-moderately problematic jokes, they occasionally have some minor scandal that crops up on Twitter, and their fanbases of teenagers are really annoying and obsessive. They’re always trending on Twitter for silly reasons. Dream and a few others have also sometimes soft-pedaled some of the problems among their “stans,” which is certainly criticizeable.

But overall, really, the popular condemnation is very unfair and unreasonable.

(There are two main strands of condemnation of Dream et al. One strand is by critical fans. Much of this is also out-of-proportion and driven by a misguided pseudo-activist quest to complain about as many “problematic” things as possible-- but it at least tends to be reasonably informed and sympathetic. Here I am mainly criticizing the other strand of condemnation, i.e. the dismissive condemnation by non-fans.)

One thing to note is that Dream and company make generally good content-- by the standards that are appropriate to apply to that sort of thing (e.g. clever gimmicky Minecraft videos). Some of his crowd, like TommyInnit, have undeniably very funny personalities and are very talented. You’d have to be seriously biased to deny this.

And I think you’ve got to look at this comparatively.

More significantly, if you compare Dream and company to like 80% of other internet celebrities who are popular among the same demographic of teenagers, there is kind of a stark contrast. Maybe like 80% of other internet celebrities of similar size are shittier people, who are involved in worse scandals, who are worse influences on young people, who make much more problematic jokes, who have worse (albeit perhaps somehow lower-profile) fanbases, etc.

Tons of mega-popular people such as PewDiePie, Logan and Jake Paul, etc., are a lot worse than Dream et al. If teenagers weren’t watching Dream et al, they’d mostly be watching worse content-creators instead, not better ones.

In short, even if you think Dream et al are bad by absolute standards, nevertheless they are good by the appropriate comparative standards of evaluation. The critics need a sense of perspective.

Most of the “scandals” are very minor, albeit with a few exceptions; and these exceptions are also minor by the comparative standards of internet celebrities (not to mention non-internet celebrities, who also seem to be mostly shitty people and also worse). Some of the criticisms are legitimate, but most are not very damning.

Here’s an issue (one of many) which seems representative of a lot of the hostility: Some people have a problem with the fact that many people in the Dream crowd are okay with their fans shipping them. I simply do not take this objection seriously. If someone is okay with their fans engaging in real-person shipping (fanart, fanfic, etc.), then that’s the end of the matter-- there’s no objection. Many people object to this practice on ostensibly moral grounds, but really it’s pretty blatantly based on the most superficial and sheer aesthetic cringing. I don’t respect this sort of hostile reaction-- it’s obviously unreasonable. There can be a real problem when fans ship people who aren’t okay with it, or ship minors-- but most non-fans do not give adequate credit to the fact that the fans are mostly respectful enough not to do this. And it’s unreasonable to lump these distinct issues together (i.e. real-person shipping per se vs. certain bad kinds of real-person shipping).

One of the few scandals I took seriously was the allegation that Dream cheated at speedrunning, which I researched a lot in 2021. Dream handled this allegation very badly (as has been widely admitted, including by him, since then), and a lot of his fanbase was in denial about the evidence. This is largely because they didn’t understand the math. I was convinced Dream cheated, because the mathematical evidence was overwhelming that his ingame drop rates could not be legitimate. I was long upset at the fact that he must have been lying continually, including by making pseudo-mathematical defenses of himself. Then, when Dream finally admitted to cheating “by accident,” this sounded for all the world like total bullshit, and I didn’t believe it. However, to my shock, Karl Jobst finally did the definitive analysis, more thorough than anyone else by far, which showed that it was highly plausible that Dream indeed cheated by accident.

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date.  I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole. 

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time. 

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances. 

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts. 

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet: 

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better.  And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia. 

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50��s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad. 

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be. 

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow. 

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode. 

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it. 

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me. 

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile. 

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line. 

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters.  But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum. 

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof.  Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on. 

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know. 

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot  surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting.  My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow. 

[cyberdva]

The Haunting Of Queen Mary's Castle-  C.B  ~P.1☆

 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Main Masterlist

Colby Brock Masterlist

Summary: Sam and Colby had the bright idea to drag their friends to Scotland, and where would the perfect video location be? How about Queen Mary’s haunted castle? It didn’t help that aspiring physic, Y/N wasn’t too happy to head out of the country, but Colby was there to help. And maybe he wanted something more than being there to help her. Could the spirits be on his side for once?

Word Count: 4k

Date Uploaded:  8/31/20

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: This fic is from the vault. I wrote this around January of this year, I start school again in two days and the work and stress load is going to be horrible, especially with it being half in person, half online. I hope to get some more creativity back when more pressure is put on me. I have plenty of ideas with just not enough passion and time. It’ll trickle back one day.

 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

“Holy Shit…” Colby held his camera closer to his chest as he walked closer towards the breathtaking Neidpath Castle. It’s aura seemed to engulf the curiosity of the young man. His friends splurged on a ten hour trip to Scotland for a quick Youtube video series, he knew near the end, half of them would be begging to go home. The comical routine played its key role in every single episode, no matter what the occasion was. It did make good money to be completely honest. Although, that wasn’t the main focus of their careers. He found himself under a tall bridge-like banister connecting its way to the entire estate. Next to him was his long time roommate, Corey. He sported a bright yellow hoodie in large contrast with Colby’s black one. It was sort of funny, each of his friends had a unique personality, yet connected so well. Of course, they were wearing their own merch. It helped the sales go up, not to mention it was awfully comfortable. A perk to the business if you say.

“And we thought the church was cool…” Sam, Colby’s best friend and other handler of the videography series on their channel, gaped in front of him. This place was bigger than any other private plot they’ve ever visited! It was a couple thousand dollars to rent out for the night, but with the palace’s history it was born to make a hefty income.

“We have this all to ourselves!” Colby nudged Sam, he handed the camera off to his friend Jake, who was talking a mile a minute to the other attendees. A new face poked out of the regular bunch.

“Are you gonna catch me when I get scared, Y/N?” Jake stuck his face in the view of the content woman. Her persona seemed quite drained due to the long trip. She was partially new to the Youtube platform, especially with ghost hunting. Not like Y/N was easily frightened, unlike her friends, it just wasn’t her go to for a cheap thrill. Nerves were indefinitely strained, since it was the first time out with the entire group. Nothing Jake couldn’t fix.

Her laugh trickled out blissfully, ”Wouldn’t Tara get jealous? You don't want to get on her bad side? Do you?” He quickly shook his head and gave a hesitant reply with his sheepish smile.

“We get this all to ourselves?” Colby queried. This place was double the size of the Trap House by far, they had to be scared shitless by the time they left. There had to be some sort of restrictions or a down sided catch to it all.

“Did you do any research on this place?” Y/N  slid up behind the unfocused main man, a small quirk to her. Colby jumped a smidge in light shock. He wasn’t expecting anyone to be genuinely interested with the property. Colby mentally cursed for being so jumpy.

“Jesus Y/N, you scared the shit out me.” He replied, not answering the girl’s question. Y/N met Sam and Colby way back in highschool. Each of them slithered their way into the other’s channels and have made frequent appearances. They definitely weren’t strangers, even though it seemed that way with fans. Y/N had more paranormal encounters out of all of the boys, despite a bit of distaste towards the topic. She was lugged around on long adventures to help them with videos. Some of her videos ranged from ‘‘accidentally’ joining a cult to “selling her soul”. She was the wicca-pedia they needed to not get possessed each trip.

“Ok pussy.” She walked off to talk to Corey, the pair oddly all had a strong connection from somewhere, and Colby sighed as to quickly put on his cheery online persona once more.

Sam waved up at a vacant window as the group, “Hello!” The woman replied unknowingly and aroused quite a shock of embarrassment. A faint giggling came from the couple in the back, “No,no, I do it better.” Corey got a hold of herself, “A Ra-Ta-Ta-tah.” The two burst back into their ceremonial laughs and briefed on about some TikToks they watched on the remotely silent ride from the airport. 

Sam turned back around to see the shorter woman. Notwithstanding her first place in line, “How is he gonna get a kiss kiss? Very ugly to me!” The duo rounded up to each other and laughed on their way up the trail, leaving the others confused and focused on talking to the groundskeeper.

“I’m assuming you are the caretaker of this?” The blonde one waved more at the older woman. She seemed more on the reserved side and peeled her eyes at the sight of a camera. A lovely addition to the already uncomfortable scene.

The woman gracefully approached Sam, “Yes, Yes I am. My name is Katrina.” Sam went on with the lady into a dark back door. The young adults glanced on in uncertainty. 

“Yo, why are they going off by themselves?” Colby asked Jake. The first rule of all of their videos was not to go off by yourself. Bad shit always follows. “He literally was like-”

“He’s been looking at her ass like all day.” Jake joked back, Corey attentively diverted himself from Y/N to get a jump in on whatever that conversation had morphed to.

“That’s whatever the fuck he was doing.” They all snickered and continued on with the inappropriate jokes. Editing this would be like a field day to Reggie.

“Is Kat gonna think…” Colby looked around jokingly, getting another round of laughter from the friends.

“I don’t know..” Colby softly replied. He pressed on to dumbfoundedly impersonate Sam’s girlfriend, “Oh it’s not cheating if he’s not in the same country.”

“It’s sexual relations Jake.” Y/N whispered at him. They continued to poke fun out of the cougar-lady, but her and Sam rushed back soon enough. Just in time to ask questions. 

“Uh, that was pretty much the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” Sam pulled everyone aside with a smug look on his face. He honestly always had one of those. The blank stares that were thrown back at him weren’t what he expected. 

“Uh Sam what does that mean.” Jake chuckled. He looked around at everyone not able to catch on. The seriousness of the situation began to settle as everyone genuinely thought Sam could have done some weird shit with that groundskeeper.

“All I have say is that was quick man…” Colby scraped some gunk off of her nails while waiting for following instructions.

Sam obviously didn’t understand, “To fill you guys in I had to learn, kind of, where all the specific light switches were. I didn’t even look around. I just kinda looked at the ground until she saw.”

“You were like that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” Colby turned the camera to focus on him and Jake mocking Sam’s slight happiness by seeing fancy rocks.

“It was only the stairs!” Sam said defeatedly, he didn’t want to spoil the real first looks.”That’s just giving you a little hint, but um, I asked her if she could you know fill us in on some of the information of, likewise castles here, the hauntings or any deaths and she said she knows some information.”

“Oh cool…” Colby was already quite unenthusiastic about this idea anyways. Katrina retreated out of the building quickly with keys in her hand. She sprinted over to all of them.

“Look it’s Sam’s new girlfriend!” Y/N cheered. Sam spun his head around, probably pulling a muscle in the process. The pure look of utter horror could not be more hysterical. Sam became flustered with a loss for words, his face tinted with a light shade of pink. Before he could muster up any sort of retort Katrina, the groundlady, came jogging back to the group.

“What’s some of the backstory about this castle?” Jake asked, he spun some rings around in his hand. Paying no mind to the other plot line adhering to his right.

“This castle was built in the second half of the 14th-Century, but there was another castle built before that in here. That was built in 110,so uh.” Few ‘Wows’ and ‘Oohs’ cut her off. “That was quite a while ago, but the Neidpath was built by the Family Of Fraser’s and they built a Buddha made castle. This one was burned down by the English army. After a guy named Simon Fraser, who’s the cousin of Braveheart, was captured and executed and that’s why the Buddha made the castle was burned to the ground. Another family built this castle, which was besieged in 1650 by the Cromwellian army. Legend says that this was the only stronghold of the Scottish borders which actually withstanded the siege. Whether it’s true or not, we don’t know, but what we do want you to know is that one-third of the castle collapsed, non-existing anymore.” She spoke with absolute passion. The place had so much rich history, the surrounding observers listened with extreme intent, not to miss one sentence in case it may help their investigation.

Colby raised his eyebrows at this question, “One-third of it?”

Katrina continued on, “Because of the siege. We do have a dungeon in the castle as well.” Everyone went silent.

“A dungeon?!” Jake nearly dropped a silver band he was picking on by the mention of this. His personality perked up and suddenly the whole crowd was uplifted. Finding weird places in “abandoned” areas is always a plus side, but this tops all of it.

“Guys shut up!” Y/N whacked Jake with her phone, he stuck his tongue out while rubbing his shoulder. She didn’t want to leave too bad of a first impression. It would be mortifying if something went wrong and the owner already hates you.

“Is there a dragon?” Corey brought everyone back to the topic of the castle, he didn’t want to be there a minute longer, but in this group you just do what you’re told and shut your mouth.

“We do have quite a big colony of bats under the roof, so I’m not sure if you really want to go down there Mister.” The group laughed and groaned at Katrina’s statement. Running into bats could be the worst thing to encounter.

Corey nodded in response, “So there are dragons.”

The history went on, “It was quite widely used during the 14th and 15th century because that was the only reason for the whole county.” The darker side of it all became slowly prevalent. It wasn’t just a posh place the others expected it to be. 

“Prison?” Sam posed. This just got a lot weirder than they all expected.

“Yes. You’ll be able to get into it because there is this rough opening through, which was made in the 17th century, but before that the only entrance to the dungeon was through the trap door from the guards. I should have shown you that, but I’m not going to. You’ll find it by yourself.

“Oh god…” Colby rubbed the bridge between his nose, an inevitable  headache was beginning to form.

Sam tittered, “Are we just going to fall through? Is that ok?” He got no proper answer, which set his worries on the run.

“So, the last prisoner was there in 1594, I think. We know there was a teenage boy like a 14 year old boy who was just pick pocketing people and he ended up here. The note didn’t say that he actually came out of there again.”

“Like meaning it’s haunted?” Colby preyed on.

“Uh, it is haunted!” Katrina stated blandly.

“Fun for us!” Y/N shrugged to hide her panic. Colby glanced at her. He sensed her anxiousness, he didn’t want her to be upset. Definitely not in the shitty environment. Of course, he cared for her, he just didn’t know how to open up and tell her. Would this really be the place?

“We do have our own one. Her name is Jean Douglas. She died in 1750, she was the daughter of one of the owners of the castle and she died of a broken heart.” The mood fell, a breeze pulled through and messed with the mics. Leaving just a sprinkle of static in the footage. Just in time.

“She was engaged to a young man, but he wasn't wealthy enough to win her family over, so he went abroad to win his fortune and fame and because he was away for far too long she went really sickly and pale and she didn’t eat. She didn’t sleep, so she was really frail when he finally came. When he was riding his horse through the archway she was at the window and he failed to recognize her because she was so altered and broke her heart and she died on the spot.”

The group had a silent reaction to the news, not knowing how to react.

“Ever since then she is walking through the castle being very tall, very gray, very pale looking, weeping.”

“What’s her name again?”

“Jean.” A tiny shiver racked through Sam’s body. He didn’t tell anyone. Just not to set anyone off. Now he really didn’t want to face this spirit.

“Have you ever seen Jean?” Y/N asked, trying her best not to be insensitive with the approach. These things are held really close to some people. Their experiences could be life changing, for others it could most certainly be a lot different.

“No, but I do have ghostbusters coming in several times a year and I asked what was the best recording ever and they were like ‘We got brilliant ones of screams.” 

“Ah..”

“And I was like inside of the castle. I’m here sometimes on my own in the middle of the night at midnight, one, two, three o’clock. When I have to lock up after the events and such. Do I really want to do that with screams in my head? No I don’t, I said no.”

“Alright sounds like it’s a nice haunted Scottish castle.” Sam tried his best to play off his uncomfortable feelings with humor. It did not work.

“I’m going to do the dungeon now. I’m not telling you what I’m going to do now and then the place will be yours” Katrina headed back into the castle with an odd vibe. 

“So, she’s gonna make us fall down the trap door, wow.” Jake leaned in for slight commentary.

“How much do you want to bet that we’re going to die?” Y/N grabbed her backpack to locate her wallet and pulled out a twenty.

“I bet 15.” Corey grabbed his wallet too.

“Guy, that is so sad though…” Colby came into the center of all of them, “Ok, that story. Imagine your husband comes home on a little horse and you're in this window, literally right there and then you die on the spot because he's like ‘Who’s that?’ It’s a tall, frail old lady that’s crying everywhere.” Colby clung to his sweatshirt, “Oh that’s so creepy!”

“Colby if you ever do that to me you’ll have to go back to VidCon alone again.” Y/N was putting in her best bet and threw a five at him. “You can use that for your ticket.” He blushed, just like Sam moments before.

Sam added more commentary from behind the camera, “They’ve heard screams within the castle.” Katrina came right back out with her deafening personality, handed the keys to Sam and hopped right back in her small, blue car, and left with no exchange of words.

“She creeps me out.” Jake in discomfort. To be fair, she is a creepy ass old lady who owns a castle in the middle of nowhere.

Corey turned away from the groundskeeper's car and shrugged off his jitters, "So we have a castle to ourselves...”

“This is amazing!” Sam couldn’t contain his excitement.

“No Shit. I still can’t grasp why you all buyout expensive stuff like a castle.” Y/N gripped the abundance of bet money and slid it all bad into her bag.

Colby inspected the property more in depth, as if he was waiting for a ghoul to poke out at any given time, “This is where we’re staying tonight.” With a grand motion upwards Sam panned the camera up and down.

“And you guys...” Sam pulled the camera away from the stronghold and directed the frame to the rest of his friends,”..have not even seen the inside at all.”

“I know, I know.” Colby pulled his beanie down his head, the enlightened sun seemed to cascade into the clouds with a faint breeze.

“Let’s go find our cottage, get ourselves completely set up and ready for the night. Take some pictures before sun down and then go into the castle, because like we can’t lose this sunset and we got to figure this out.” Sam did some weird hand movements in front of the camera and handed it off to the other’s opinions.

Colby nodded his head up and down in agreement,” Yeah definitely.” Jake wandered around with a rock and for the most part everyone said eye to eye.

“Unfair treatment. I wanted to go in now.” Y/N gave a side glance to Sam and Corey brushed his hand over her playfully. She walked back into frame,“All I gotta say is, Colby Brock Hot Edits.” Colby walked up next to her with a shit-eating grin in approval. Who doesn’t love Colby Brock edits?”

“Shut up, you’re just jealous that there’s no Y/N L/N hot edits for you.” He playfully jabbed back at her with a growing flutter in his stomach. He fucking hated that feeling to no end, but it was such a drug. Only when she was around.

“Alright let’s go, I’m bored as shit.” Jake came back with his new pet rock and put his arm around Corey. Sam cut the camera and went down the forked path. Right down the road was a cottage for visitors.

“Hey Y/N,” Colby came jogging up to the colleen, “Did you see any weird stuff yet?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, a symptom of his bashfulness, he began to rethink his uncolorful wording in his sentence. He just had the sudden urge to go up to her and she wasn’t complaining one bit.

She looked over at him, “No, not yet. I just got really put-off by that lady. She just was so…” Her eyes connected with his and a glistening highlight overcame the peaking iris. The words weren’t verbally there, but he understood what was there.

Sam cut her off, “Dude. Look how big this place is.” It was rationally smaller than their house back in LA, but it was sizable for an ancient brick living space.

Jake made the most commotion out of the seven, “Whoever is first picks where they sleep!” He dashed ahead of the group and everyone picked up speed, almost dropping the rock he just adopted.

“I think there’s only like three beds.” Sam panted. No one paid much mind to him and kept running. They all toppled into the door and Corey unlocked it, which left the rest to run up to a room. Jake took the first one to the left, Sam tumbled into the one across. A room had a small couch for Corey and last, but not least…

“Looks like we’re bunking L/N.”

“Fuck you Brock.”

Sam peaked his head in, “Guys, we have film some shots of the place. Come on.” The three made it to the living room where all and sundry were. Sam grabbed his camera and got everyone in shot.

“What?!” With grand motions each person stood up in their acts of shock. Even though it had been there for a solid five minutes the audience always has to be entertained.

Colby turned around, “Yo! We got a TV too!” A small Toshiba was put on a step stool. It would probably gain no use tonight anyways. It looked like a piece of crap too, thank god for Youtube.

They all got up from their seats and went to uncover the rest of the place, “This is nice, very cool.” Colby led them into Corey’s room. A huge bed frame was around a pink canopy bed. Old photos and paintings of the fortress were hung evenly around the perimeter. Sam went through the rest of the rooms and told everyone to head off and get ready.

The guys took cold showers and Y/N soaked in a muddled bath in the basement. She didn’t like it here. Her mind couldn’t unravel much. Sam was stationed upstairs doing a camera touch up with Jake by his side talking about the new Harry Styles album. A half an hour later everyone was wearing at least one faction of Sam and Colby merch, phones were charged and beams from flashlights slid across the floor like a jumping snake.

The group divided into pairs as they walked to the castle. The sky grew much darker than expected and it felt like a looming spirit chipped away at the warm function of friends. The camera was whipped right back out.

“Alright, we are all showered, changed, and ready to explore the castle before sunset.” All went under the arch while the audio was whacked around by the wind.

Colby turned from his conversation to the viewers, "I’m still like flipping out that we’re staying here tonight. That’s crazy!” His lantern swung below him and the towering castle was engulfed by the purple skies. “Look at this place! Look at that beautiful sunset!” He yelled.

Y/N raised her eyebrows, “Since when were you PG-13?”

He blandly stared at her,”Shut up I need to make money,” He looked back at the camera, “When I was like blow-drying my hair and stuff after my shower, my hair dryer was insanely powerful. There’s obviously a lot of energy in it, like the voltage.” 

“I thought he said blow-j-.” Corey chimed in. He shut himself up so they wouldn’t get demonetized, it would be a funny way to go down though. Y/N and Colby giggled along with him. It wasn’t a rare occasion that they all were out laughing and joking, just the side chick with the haunted castle. 

Corey swung his flashlight up and down, “His blow dryer started smoking and like almost blew up.”

“So, what I’m saying is the spirits could use all of this energy to talk to us.”

They all made it to the castle and it was around five-thirty. There wasn’t much to do at this time, but she was always watching. There was something about to happen they could all feel it and that thing, it wasn’t going to be good.

 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Part 2? Send me an ask if you want it!!

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Reviewing Adventure Time graphic novel: “Thunder Road”

 by Jeremy Sorese (Steven Universe comic writer) and Zachary Sterling (Adventure Time main comic artist)

Okay, so after purchasing and reading it today, I can safely say the DESCRIPTION of this graphic novel is ENTIRELY INCORRECT: 

Marceline starts feeling restless and comes across a motorcycle gang of storm clouds. Taking this as a chance to try something new, Marceline sets off on the open road with her new friends but things take a turn when she realizes that the storm clouds might be taking things a bit too far when it comes to their pranks. Marceline has to make a choice, to join in and create a natural disaster bigger than Ooo has ever seen or to go back to her boring quiet life--luckily, the answer comes from an unexpected source who just happened to be trailing the clouds...for research, of course.

No, nonono. This doesn’t even remotely resemble what happens. 

Actually, there is still a motorcycle gang, but this isn’t really a book about Marceline - it’s mostly about a drama with Bubblegum, and how she ends up taking her frustration out on Marceline. It’s about some difficulties they have communicating with each other, too. 

The Candy Kingdom is being flooded by non-stop rain. Jake is acting as a giant canopy to try and protect the castle, but it’s not working, and everything is falling apart - candy people are getting seriously injured, and it seems this has been going on for weeks. Everybody is exhausted, and things are looking dire. This was an eerily familiar situation for me, living in the RCT, which got demolished by flooding last February before the Corona crisis, and which is still recovering.  They’re all working together to solve this crisis, and PB is glad to see Marceline caring about other people. Marceline flies up in the sky and discovers a motorcycle gang is making the clouds rain down. 

PB is entirely at her wits end, she yells at the motorcycle gang, gets bullied by them, and decides to challenge them to a race. If she wins, they leave. If they win, then they will drive all over the Candy Kingdom and destroy it. Bubblegum gets incredibly angry at herself for making such a reckless bet, when she’ll have to race in the goddamn sky, and she insists this problem is her fault, so she needs to solve it by herself.

Marceline gets fed up that PB wants to solve it by herself and is pushing her away, so as a ploy of reverse psychology she says, “Fine, I WON’T help”, and flies away to investigate the gang further.

Bubblegum thinks Marcie has fucked off and ditched them. Marceline hasn't actually given up on her - she tries to perform some secret reconnaissance, befriending the gang and sabotaging their bikes. Marceline returns bits of cloud to the kingdom as well, to a still-bitter PB who won’t thank her.  However, things turn for the worse when the biker gang discover the bikes were damaged, and they confront PB about the sabotage, with Marceline's life possibly on the line.

Thankfully, the gang let Marceline go. Bubblegum proper goes off on Marceline for not trusting her to be able to do things by herself, while Marceline says that she should have just accepted help in the first place. They have a falling out. Marceline is upset that PB keeps taking out her anger on her, and lashes out a bit, tells PB this is her fault so she’s on her own. 

Shenanigans ensue. After a tense and highly dangerous bike race, Bubblegum manages to scrape a victory - without Marceline’s help - due to electromagnetic shenanigans with her cloud bike’s fuel tank.

I don’t want to post images of the race, because it has some awesome moments that I want you to see for yourself in the novel. 

However, she realises she had accidentally cheated, and apologises to Marceline for taking everything out on her earlier - she says that it shouldn’t be that way, that she shouldn’t just get mad at Marceline whenever she’s stressed.   

She tells Marcie that she doesn't want to treat her like shit every time she has a bad day.

They have a motorbike race. PB forgets Marceline can fly, and drives off a cliff to save her. Marceline ends up saving PB. Lots of cute moments. 

It turns out, also, that PB has become a bit of a legend in the sky biker community. 

[EDIT: I just realised the jackets say “We Talked It Out”! They’re proud that they were able to have a conversation about their problems! Awwwww]

So, this comic seems to take place during season 6. Most likely between The Cooler and Hot Diggety Doom - when PB is still kind of hyper-aggro and overworked, but is trying to cool down, and when Marceline hasn’t learnt how to communicate properly with her.   At the same time, the stakes are high enough that it does make sense for the characters to behave in this way at ANY time after Sky Witch, provided it’s not after the series finale.    Finn, notably, still has his right arm. He doesn’t pick up a sword. If he did, I might have been able to directly tell where this fit in the show’s continuity.  

Anyway, it’s outstanding. Easily the best of the Adventure Time graphic novels I’ve read. What I loved is how tense the situation really felt, how the emotions the characters were feeling were extensions of what they would feel if this happened in the show. It didn’t feel out of character for PB to be breaking down and acting like a tool, or for Marceline to be secretive and indirect, and then lash out a bit when PB hurts her. It was an awesome character study on their relationship and how it could have its toxic moments.   The situation seemed genuinely dire. The biker gang were genuinely hateable and intimidating. The threat they made to the characters felt real, which is rare for this show. And the emotional moments hit me hard.  It works super well after watching Obsidian, wherein you saw PB in the past take her anger out on Marcie and how that contributed to their breakup. 

It also has Marcie and PB racing around on motorbikes, which is funny because that's what they did in Obsidian.

You can tell that Jeremy Sorese did work on SU comic stuff, because he does a good job at capturing those brief emotions, those epic moments, that SU did so well. This comic is also more dramatic than the usual AT flare. 

The art is okay. It is in graphic novel format, and it’s meant to look a lot like the show. It is nice and colourful. It is clean, and sells emotions perfectly fine. However, Zachary Sterling has historically had issues drawing the arms of the characters - he makes them look far too much like stiff bendy tubes, when they are more free-form and can bend at full right-angles in the show. I feel like he was trying to stay too on-model, and didn’t take his art to its full potential. Some panels are also recycled and slightly edited. 

8/10 - A good read for fans of PB and Marcy, a plot with convincing tension from the first page, with an interesting character study on how PB’s stress can cause her to hurt the people closest to her and she needs to manage that.  However, the description on the back of the book is entirely incorrect for no reason. Well worth the £11 I spent to get a paperback copy sent today. 

You can buy a copy on Amazon for same day delivery. You used to be able to buy a copy on Comixology, but for some reason, it’s been removed. 

[bbyboybrock--archived]

The Assistant (Colby Brock Imagine)

Summary: *REQUEST* I saw your request are open what about dating colby and the trap house gets an assistant like how David dobrik has Natalie and reader gets jealous cause the assistant is openly flirting with Colby regardless of him having a girlfriend

Written: 2020

Word Count: 1,716

Warnings: Swearing, angst?, possible cheating?

Masterlist

“I know I’m the first to preach about women supporting women and all that. But I swear to God, if this bitch makes one more pass at Colby in front of me it’s on sight. Look at her, you can’t tell me that she isn’t dressed like that just to get his attention.” I say to Kat and Tara. I invited them over to relax and try to get them to see what I have to deal with daily.

The boys have a new live-in assistant; which is fine. Having an assistant is kind of like the newest trend right now. Like everyone on YouTube suddenly getting an editor. Which is fine; I pay Reggie everyone in a while to help me edit my videos. Don’t get me wrong, having an assistant in our lives was great when we lived in the apartment. Zoe would come over to our place a couple of times a week. She would openly flirt with Colby, but at the end of the day, she crawled back to wherever her broom brought her from. But when the guys decided to move into the trap house 2.0 they decided to let her take the spare room. And then quarantine happened so we were all stuck in the house together.

The flirting was always subtle, so I didn’t pick on it at first. Maybe it was because I was rarely there when all of the guys were together, so I wouldn’t notice that Colby was getting more attention than Sam, Jake, or Corey. She would occasionally, “forget” something at our apartment. Sometimes she would call at random hours “asking for help.” I didn’t realize that she was an actual threat until I came home from a meeting one day and caught her trying to sink her claws into Colby. And my sweet, innocent, stupid boyfriend thinks she’s just friendly. Secretly, I think he just likes the attention.

Since moving into the house, she’s gotten bolder. First, she started working in whatever room Colby was in. Then, she started wearing fewer clothes. Not to slut-shame anyone, people can wear whatever they want, but when your style changes ever so subtly and without notice it’s bound to get the attention of your roommates. It was like she went from Hannah Montana to Kim Kardashian in a day. To make matters worse, she started copying my styles. I dye my hair one color, she dyes it the same color a week later. Her clothes started to reflect mine. It was almost like she had the mindset that if Colby was going to ignore her, she had to make herself someone he wouldn’t ignore, me.

All of the guys think I’m overreacting, Sam and Jake know better. Kat and Tara would make their lives hell if the situation was different. I’ve told her to stop countless times, and I tried to get Colby to talk to her, but either he hasn't or she’s ignoring him. Colby doesn’t like drama and tried to avoid it as much as possible. I mean, I do too, but I’m not beyond being petty. Some of the fans have started to take notice and I’ve been liking tweets or any post that mentions of Zoe trying to seduce Colby.

“Y/N, I get where you’re coming from, but maybe it’s nothing. I mean, Colby hasn’t done anything and Zoe technically hasn’t tried anything so I think you’re fine. Maybe quarantine is getting to you.” Kat says trying to reassure me.

“Yeah, maybe we should do like a social distancing girls’ road trip with Xeph, Devyn, and Cass,” Tara suggests.

“That sounds like a great idea, but no offense, I’m not going to let little that little minx get to opportunity to ruin my relationship while I’m gone.” I glare at Zoe hanging around Colby in her too-small bikini that definitely doesn’t cover everything. She’s practically sitting on his lap when there is a perfectly good seat near Corey.

“Even if she is hitting on Colby, shouldn’t you trust Colby to do the right thing? Like, trust him enough to not give in to her advances.” Kat asks. I finally take my eyes off the guys and turn to Kat and Tara.

“I trust him, and I’m confident enough to know that Colby loves me more than anything and wouldn’t do that to me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t get upset when girls are quite literally, throwing themselves at him. I mean, you two know more than anything, you have to have thick skin and confidence to date a social media influencer, especially our boys.” I don’t want to mention to Tara and Kat that Colby has been known to take the coward’s way out of a relationship by cheating on a girl so she would break up with him. Not that I’m sure he’s going to do that, we’ve been dating long enough, but you can never be too sure.

“She has a point, I know Jake wouldn’t cheat on me. But if I had to live here and had to endure watching some bitch trying to steal my man every day, it would be on sight. I don’t care that I’m short, I’ll fuck her up.” Tara says before lying back down and tanning.

“Thank you!” I decided to take a small break and tan regularly with Tara to avoid awkward tan lines from the way that I’m turning to check on Zoe and make sure she doesn’t try anything.

“Theoretically speaking, not that I’m manifesting it or anything, but let’s say Colby did give into Zoe’s advances. What would you do?” Kat asks after a few moments of silence.

“That depends…” I think for a few minutes of what I would do if Colby did cheat on me.

“What do you mean it depends? You should break up with him if he does cheat.” Tara interjects.

“No, I get that. If Colby ever did cheat on me, I would move out of our room and stay in the guest room until I got my own place or if someone would let me crash at their place for a bit. Would I be petty about it on the internet? Probably not, but that depends on how badly he fucked up. But, and this is a big but, but if Zoe like forced herself on him and like basically either somehow forced him to sleep with her or kiss him, and I knew that for a fact, I would beat her ass. And I’m not a violent person, you two know that, but if I have to fight a bitch I will; Zoe or any girl who tries to make pass at Colby.”

“Y/N, if you have to a fight a bitch could you call me so I could watch? Or at least film it for me? I really want to see someone throw hands.” Tara asks, sitting up and sharing a big grin.

“Tara, you might not have to wait too long for that. Y/N, look,” Kat points at the little bar area where the guys said they were having a meeting and making TikToks. I turn around in time to see Zoe showing Colby a bottle of sunscreen. She’s either asking him to help her get sunscreen on her back or asking if she can put sunscreen on him. Either way, she’s hoping that someone’s hands are going to be on someone else.

“Oh fuck no,” I stand up and practically run to stop any of this from happening. I hear Kat and Tara run up behind me.

“Oh shit…” Corey mutters under his breath when he sees the three of us coming. Sam, Jake, and Corey step back so they’re not on the battlefield.

“Speaking of the girls— We were just talking about you three. Zoe here was asking if I could help her get sunscreen on her back. I was telling her that maybe one of you could help her.” Colby says when he sees me. He looks uncomfortable but relieved now that I’m here.

“We can help with that. Sam, Jake, you two better come with us too, you’re looking a bit pale. Corey, I’m sure Zoe could help you out, right Zoe?” Tara says, standing next to me.

“Y/N, you got Colby, right?” Kat adds, trying to make our dislike of Zoe noticeable.

“Oh, yeah, definitely, I can take care of my boyfriend.” I smile at Zoe as she glares at all three of us but walks over to Kat and Tara. They lead her near the house and Jake, Sam, and Corey follow in tow. Colby and I are the only two left.

“Oh thank God, you save my ass back there,” Colby says as he engulfs me in a hug.

“Uh-huh, I’m just glad you didn’t do something stupid, like put your hands all over some other girl.”

“I’m not that dumb, I love sleeping in our bed next to you. One fuck up like that and I’m stuck on the couch indefinitely.” Colby places his hands on either side of my cheeks and kisses my forehead. I know he’s joking, but I’m glad that he’s starting to realize that Zoe is creepy.

We hear a scream from behind us. We both whip our heads around in sync. Kat and Tara pushed Zoe into the pull while Corey, Jake, and Sam try hard to suppress their laughter. I flat out laugh and run out to join Kat and Tara in their merriment. We’re having so much fun watching Zoe paddle to the other side of the pool and climb out. She definitely wasn’t planning on getting in the water, at least, not all the way in. Her makeup is running down her face. We’re enjoying this so much that we don’t notice each of our boyfriends sneak up behind us. They grab each of us and throw us in the pool. All four of the boys jump in after and we’re soon having a pool party while Zoe dries off in the corner. I look up at Colby, who is trying to take down Corey with Jake. He stops long enough to sign me ‘I love you.’ I sign him back that I love him too.

[tthankstoyou]

Assign glee characters songs from Taylor's Red album if you want. It can be because you'd think they'd sound good or because it just fits

Ahhhh thank you so much for this ask!!!! I literally love this ask so much, answering it was a lot of fun💖💖💖

I didn’t give every glee character a song & I gave a few people/ships multiple songs. Also! I hope you don’t mind that I added a few non-canon ships <3

I put everything under the cut since it got hella long, it’s hard for me to shut up sometimes 😳

• State of Grace: I feel like this is a really good Finchel duet. Finn and Rachel loved each other so much and left a lasting impact on each other’s lives (especially Rachel). I can see them singing this after Rachel heals from from their s4 breakup (so Finn’s still alive). Hmmmm I’m thinking they sing this at the failed Wemma wedding when they reunite.

• Red: Ok get this, Pezberry duet after their s5 fight (but like a romantic relationship, not platonic). But like when they’re at the stage before they make up & they realize how much they miss each other. They switch the male pronouns for female ones tho.

• Treacherous: This doesn’t fit any storylines for her, but I think Santana would sound beautiful if she sang this song. I don’t know any singing terms, so stick with me here. I think that Santana should’ve sung more soft songs (you know, like ‘Songbird’) & I think ‘Treacherous’ would’ve utilized how soft her voice can sound, but also how powerful it can be. Like since the song goes from slow paced and builds up to something faster and more powerful (this prob makes no sense)

• I Knew You Were Trouble: Quinn sings this after she see’s that Puck was s/exting Santana at their sleepover! She was ready to raise a baby with this man even though she knew about his reputation. Quinn thinks that she should’ve known better, but it’s too late for that and now her heart has been ripped out of her chest.

• All Too Well: Kurt sings this after Blaine tells Kurt that he cheated. I think he should sing this in the breakup episode when he should be sleeping, but his thoughts are keeping him up. Like how he tells Finn that he barely slept. I think Kurt singing this would be kind of like why Taylor wrote it, he’s trying to understand where and why everything went wrong.

• 22: I would LOVE for Madison and Kitty to sing this during the party in Rachel’s basement in s6. I chose that pairing since they all had to sing duets in that episode and I would kill to hear those girls sing a song together. Also I can totally see everyone having a great time on the dance floor, kind of like how everyone was partying during ‘Somebody Loves You.’ I think this would be a good song to keep the energy up.

• I Almost Do: I want Marley to sing this so bad. Not for any particular reason, I just think it would go really well with her voice.

• We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: (Jarley endgame my beloved BUT) Marley sings this after her breakup with Jake. I think she’d sing this after she opens her locker and a whole bunch of flowers that Jake put in there fall out. She’s starting to get fed up with Jake begging for her to come back & she decides that the best way to get her feelings across is to sing this song to him in the middle of glee club.

• Stay Stay Stay: I don’t have a specific situation I want her to sing this in, but I think Tina would sound AMAZING on this song. Like it’s such a fun song & I can so see her singing it because it’s underrated just like her.

• The Last Time: Rachel sings this when she’s on her way back to Lima in the breakup episode to talk to Finn.

• Holy Ground: I feel like this would be SUCH a good song for Mercedes about her relationship with Sam. Like she’s being her pop star self and sees something that reminds her of Sam while on tour. She’s filled with nothing but good memories. She’ll always have love for him in her heart. AND omg the line “And I see your face now in every crowd” because Sam was her biggest fan and always will be.

• Sad Beautiful Tragic: This would be a good song for Blaine to sing after the s4 Klaine breakup. Like I think this would fit perfectly w/ how the song is about how distance tore them apart in the long run. The whole bridge fits their situation so well, especially the lines “Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting / Silence, the train runs off its tracks / Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?”

• The Lucky One: This song is deadass about Rachel. It would be wrong to assign it to anyone that isn’t her. Like she was a star who moved to L.A. to make her name even bigger. She quickly learned though that Hollywood life wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. She had to leave town to save face. Here are some lines that fit perfectly imo: “You had it figured out since you were in school” & “And they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / How you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out”

• Everything Has Changed: I feel like this would be a super cute Hevans duet. I have no real explanation, I just want them to sing this soooo bad... maybe during duets week...

• Starlight: This would be such a fun group number at the end of an episode. I want the leads for this song to be Artie, Tina, and Unique. I think they'd make this number a lot of fun and I would love to hear the three of their voices in a song together.

• Begin Again: Quinn sings this song about the first girl she dates, mainly because there's nothing more gay than meeting someone in a cafe. The other man that she’s comparing the person she’s with to symbolizes all the men she’s dated. The line "I've been spending the last eight months / Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end” is about how Quinn isn’t the best at relationships. All she wants is to be loved, but she hurts everyone she’s with. But with this girl, it’s like none of that matters.

• The Moment I Knew: Kitty sings this about Artie when he forgets about her while she’s in New York. I don’t think it would fit any specific canon event, but I can imagine something similar to the song happening to them & Kitty just knowing that this was the end.

• Come Back...Be Here: Brittany sings this because of how she wants nothing more than Santana to be there with her. Like she said before they broke up that she feels like she’s suffocating with Santana & I think that this song would help Brittany convey how she feels.

• Girl At Home: I don’t know why, but I want Artie to sing this. I just think he’d have fun with it.

[letsperaltiago]

ok time to break my silence caused by the fact that i spent all day making this lol too many feels 

so.. palm springs thoughts !! and there are manyyyy so buckle up and feeel free to hit me up with either matching or contradicting thoughts or whateveer!! i would LOVE to nerd out about this movie with someone:’)

here comes thoughts and pictures!! 

we basically start off with a mr. samberg sex-scene okAYYYYY the mood is set. we love the view

nyles aka. mr. samberg is the most gorgeous man alive and it was a true pleasure to admire him for 90 minutes straight 

CURLS!!????! THEY ARE UNREAL. i shall dedicate an entire post to them

Cristin Milioti is perfect for her role. her acting? *chef’s kiss* I love that she’s not the stereotypical female rom-com lead.

Her chemistry with Andy? Gosh.. Can’t believe Nyles x Sarah is my new main movie-ship!! They play off of each other SO. WELL. Their characters are equally stone cold and bitter, but then again not really, and they both portray it so well!!

“You don’t ned a leg up.” *moans* “Hold my leg up!” i SCREAMED

“Don’t you kiss me.” “Don’t you tell me what to do.” hoW DARE THEY!

Ok ur basically on love already stop it

The fact that they were just gonna fuck on a blanket on top OF ROCKS?!

but then again in this movie’s already insane universe it’s prob pretty normal:)

The overall dark, existential humor?? This is what I live and breathe for on a daily basis. Basiaclly both main characters are a BIG MOOD

Nyles not giving a shit vs. Sarah severely freaking out in the beginning is an iconic dynamic

“I am the antichrist” and then the rock falling? For a hot sec I literally thought the movie was gonna take a turn with Nyles being some magical/scientific creature that’d created the timeloop or something idkkk ahhha

Nyles in the suit... ridiculous(ly hot)

The torture methods Roy uses on Nyles and the fact that he’s not mentally scarred?? How?? 

On that note I love that Nyles and Sarah keep their memories even if the day starts over. Would’ve been a completely different concept if they had to “meet each other for the first time” every day and it wouldn’t’ve allowed their relationship arc to evolve as it did 

Darla is the fucking shit 

Nyles in the baseball cap, amirite?

THE BARTENDER TALKING ABOUT HITTING A GUY WITH THE CAR SHE’S CURRENTLY GIVING NYLES A HANDJOB IN IS COMEDIC GOLD 

“You fucked Jerry Schlieffen?” “Well he fucked me.” Yes SIR. Andy Samberg’s characters are all bottoms and we’re here for it

Sarah’s tongue click and “nice try” when Nyles asks her about her sex life?? 

IDK WHY BUT SO GOD

Randy is hella annoying. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

THIS ENTIRE SCENE:

the fact that they both start waking up smiling because now at least they have each other 🥺😭🤯

uhm i love a good ship that’s like... best friends to lovers and the montage of them basically becoming besties killed me 

this outfit Y E S: 

sarah falling off the car and nyles laughing it off is relationship goals

the crashing plane I LOL’ED

okay so... big moment... the DANCING AND MATCHING OUTFITS? THEY ARE MY DREAM TEAM. Also how excited they are running away from the bar 🥺

IM POSITIVE THIS IS THE MOMENT NYLES KNOWS! LIKE HE DOESN’T ADMIT IT TO HIMSELF COMPLETELY BUT HE KNOWS 

the bomb in the cake and french pirate-skit? so fucking random but i lovee it because it’s so them

*DRUM ROLL* PERHAPS MY FAVORITE MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: 

STORYLINE WISE AND VISUALLY A++++

the deep talks by the fire were SO well written. they were actually deep and genuine, allowing the characters to grow and opening up to us as viewers but also remained fun and witty

sarah trying to get nyles to admit he cares for her and him joking it off??? the flirtinggg

really wish we’d gotten to know more about what nyles meant with “it drifts away: just like they all do.” because it really seemed to trigger something within him. Like WHO “They”???

the dinosaurs lmao no comment but at least they got a cute cuddly moment

from the very first millisecond inside the tent you can CLEARLY tell Sarah is just dying to do something about them!!!

 the disbelief on nyles’ face when sarah says “lets just get it over with” because she’d clearly stated he didn’t want to and even though he obviously did he’s respected it and not done anything further about it oh babey

we love some good making out:’))) 

NYLES HALTING TO TAKE IN THE MOMENT EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO SCREAM INTO THE VOID 

i will die for a post-sexy timez cuddle and how sarah is trying to staying awake to be besides him is just *explosion* 

this has to be *the moment* she realises 

and they’re both sooooo fucking happy when they wake up after damn love me like that pls

THE GROOM BOOO FUCK OFF CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REMEMBER HIS NAME CHEATING SCUM 

THIS FACE:

Baby is trying so hard and is so cute and nervous about it. SARAH LISTEN TO HIM HE LOVES YOU.

HE FELT GOOD WAKING UP BECAUSE OF YOUUUU, GIRL. DO NOT CALL IT “FUN”, SARAH 

“Going to bed maybe just got a little better” 😭😭😭😭

The entire cop scene is just pure insanity, very Lonely Island and I’m here for it even though I just want Sarah to rEALLY LISTEN TO WHAT NYLES IS TRYING TO SAY 

“Pain is real” oh babey that means SO MANY THINGS 🥺💔

“I followed you into that cave because I liked you!” like jake would say: don’t love how we got here but we’re going where i want

“pretentious sad boy” me

not shocked that they’ve hooked up before because c h e m i s t r y but don’t like how it got out :)))

why is nyles’ one sleeve shirt rolled up? im triggered

drinking pure vodka? oh babey its gonna be okay 

WE LOVE A SMART BOI WHO RECOGNIZES HIS GIRL’S PERFUME 

Sarah’s parents singing:)) i would cry too, nyles

"I love her.” “I see... That’s interesting” lmao savage

I actually really love Roy’s character. It turns out to be very humble actually and he has some insightful and lowkey poetic that lines i love. Besides that he’s hilarious. 

SO the whole time i was wondering how they’d get out of the whole “same day forever”-thing, if they were to. and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they had such a logical way out of it: science. Not anything cheesy like “a true love’s kiss” or “you learned your lesson”. Pure logic and Sarah’s hard work to get there. Huge fan of this. 

I will never get over how good Nyles looks waking up and Sarah is xtra pretty in that scene:’) 

Nyles just wants to stay in a loop forever because it means for sure that he gets to stay with Sarah forever and I’m lowkey into it but also like lowkey LISTEN TO HER AND GO WITH HER PLAN, NYLES

“I wanna stay with you” *sniffles*

“I love you. How about that?” PRETTY FUCKING GOOD 

I love Nyles’ character development. He started off so nonchalant and cold, closed off and by this point he’s the softest, smiliest in love fool I’ve ever seen and Andy does it so good. SAMBERG HEART EYES!!

“Nothing is real in here” YES SARAH UR LOVE IS

I’m taking Sarah’s asking Nyles to believe in her and leave with her as her first “I love you” because it’s very clear that she wants to leave with him rather than without. 

just- this entire scene i ugh <3 <3 <3 <3

BREAKING. UP. WITH. MISTY ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

glass of wine filled to the brim? sarah’s my type of gal

the speech was really beautiful and sweet without being too cheesy and kudos to cristin for really delivering it like a pro! especially her “abe, don’t fuck this up” like yes girl kill him, chop him to pieces with your eyes!!! also camila is such really pretty bride

nyles looks like a cockatoo here :

nyles taking the shot and smashing the glass into the ground got me 🤭😵😏🥵

“I’m your son” I SCREAM

GIVE THE MAN A WHITE HORSE DAMNIT

Gotta admit Sarah looks like a bomb (lol nu pun intended) ass super hero in her bridesmaid dress and C4-gettup 

The sentence ending up being total grammatical gibberish but Nyles trying so. damn. hard is the sweetest thing ever and should and will go down in rom-com history. It’s super romantic but also well-balanced by humor and I just.. so good. This is the kind of characters and relationships I love and wanna write myself 

“you’re my favorite person that i’ve ever met” 🥺🥺🥺

“i’d rather die with you than live in this world without you” WHY AM I SO SINGLE SOMEONE LOVEE ME LIKE THIS 

okay so idk but “what if we get sick of each other?” “we’re already sick of each other. it’s the best.” is so so so soft, the way nyles says it like it doesn’t matter and is honestly another key moment for me: they’ve experienced basically everything imaginable during their time in the box/loop. they’ve liked, disliked, loved, hated each other and still: he loves her. the fact that nyles knows no matter what happens it won’t stop that because it’s them?? ouch my heart. 

this chaotic mess of a pairing?MESSY BOMB BRIDESMAID AND CURLY-HAIR HAWAII SHIRT-BOI!! MY OTp

Them dissing Nyles’ mom on their way into potential death? that’s love, baby 

the fUCKING KISSSSSSS MANNNNNNNNNN!!!! SO ICONIC AND THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND AND JUST WE DESERVE THIS THEY DESERVE THIS EVERYONE DESERVES THISSSS!!! 

NEVER OVEER THIS EVER FOREVER NEVER

Ok so I was SURE that when it faded to black that it was done and I grew super ficking frustrated because it would leave us with this “the ending is up to whatever you chose”-kinda thing kinda a la Celeste and Jesse where it just feels unresolved and I WASN’T OKAY WITH THAT. So I’m so happy we got to know that it worked and the bebes will live happuilly ever after with Nyles’ shaggy dog:’) 

Their hands on each other’s knee >>>>>

all in all 100000/10 

[claudeparkcentral]

whats their favorite pasttime to spend with one another? also u have talked about their fan kids before would u like to do that some more now 👁

EHEHEHE for pastimes i think they're the kind of people to really love like. being in the same room doing different things and not talking but the other person is there. so they'll both partake in their different hobbies at the same time that way.

but also i think they go hiking together a lot! they also go out and forage together too. jake will pick up a puffball mushroom and go to claudette and be like hey babe i found this thing its bigger than your head❤️ i think thwy probably also like fishing and birdwatching.. but they'll also read and play games together. claudette probably has like a ton of books so i imagine they sit next to each other or she'll sit in his lap and she'll have her book open while jake reada over her shoulder

for the fankids im gonna put this drawing of them here again for reference

all three kids spend a lot of time with jake since he's like a housewife most of them time. he teaches them survivalist stuff and has taken them fishing but aecha fucking hates it. claudette hangs with the kids a lot too and they probably have like. a wii or something and they get really competitive while playing just dance until joel gets mad and accuses eli of cheating somehow (they're just good at it)

the kids get along fairly well, and they share a lot of their friends so whenever one of them goes out they usually all go out together. when its time for chuck e cheese the entire family is about to fucking destroy those ball machines. aecha's pretty careful about making sure joel and eli behave and dont like. destroy shit but sometimes they will fight because eli is pretty adamant about doing whatever they want usually.

aecha takes after claudette a lot so she asks to hang out with her at work. she doesnt get to often but when she does she loves it because she's really into entomology. meanwhile joel is more reserved and during family activities he sits out a lot and just chills. claudette tries to get him to join when she can but he's just got like. low energy and gets tired quickly. eli just likes making prank things and would probably make pipe bombs if they knew how. jake regrets showing them some of his traps bc they'll like. leave traps in the house that cover him in flour