#and that's how the search for the shards started
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Headcanon - Henry Stickmin got into the mess with the timelines in his game because of a time piece falling on his head. He's technically in a time rift going through the motions until Hat Kid fixes the rift, made all the worse by the fact he already had minor rewind powers that the time piece was able to amplify.
#yeah I was thinking about how I wanted to start the timeline shenanigans of Henry Stickmin and was just playing a Hat in Time#so I yeeted a time piece at Henry's head full force and cackled evilly as he lay there dazed and concussed#the full story is Hat has to find him somewhere in the time rift to fully close it and collect the last shard for fixing the time piece#crow brain Henry took a shard and still has it on him- she may need to fight him to get it back#I would pay to see that fight honestly someone make that fight happen. I have no clue who would win that fight#reason for siding with the Toppats is their better reach not to mention how many shards are in the airship and rocket#Hat's not having a fun time searching due to the large scale of the rift but at least she's not dealing with the worst criminal gang ever#don't worry Hat has multiple lives she doesn't die in the bad endings#a hat in time#ahit#hsc#thsc#henry stickmin#the henry stickmin collection#hsc headcanon#ahit headcanon#headcanon#hat kid#actually henry stickmin
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Of sun and feathers
So, there are really big caves in which scientists built their laboratories. Like, really big. So big, that when Red is asked – well, ordered, since there is no option of saying “no”, even if he could speak – to teleport as far as he can, there should be no problems with him accidentally leaving the used area. And anyway, the controlling chip will make sure that Red will return if he turns out to be too far away. So, no problem here.
Since the labs are underground, there is no light down here (not counting some strange glowing mold in the lowest tunnels). And for some reason in addition to illumination in the buildings and tunnels there are a few hundred of giant lamps sticking out from the stone ceiling. The common opinion between mod souls is that it was either the part of another project or an inconsistency in orders due to which someone made those lamps without thinking twice. Scientists may know the real answers, but even if they know, they are not inclined to share. Anyway, no problem with giant glass construction up there too.
No problem on no problem should give no problem as a result, but in Red’s case it is usually the other way around. You see, it is kind of complicated to spot which way he needs to go in that other-subdimensional-dark-red-mist which Red goes through to teleport. Mostly because there are no pointers here – no compass to point to south and north, no sun or moon, and also – most importantly – no gravity which means there is not much difference between up and down.
You are getting where the story is going, right?
So, Red takes a good breath, because he already had learned that breathing that red mist is bad idea and his throat and nose are constantly burning even without it, closes his eyes, concentrates and tugs on that warm and wooly feeling under his ribs. The white walls disappear, replaced by familiar darkness and redness. Red feels dizzy for a moment, so he just waits for a second until he is more or less sure that he is not going to threw up from the first movement, and then he moves ahead, floating in the middle of nothing.
From the outside, as Kurodo mentioned, teleporting looks like a instant thing – Red disappears in the poof of dark-red smoke and reappears at the same moment in some other point. From the inside it was a little differently. For a few beats of his heart Red was able to move in any direction he wanted without any resistance from his surroundings. Then, if he continued to concentrate on moving, the mist seemed to become more and more dense, but Red also kind of felt that he was moving faster – which made sense.
Red was not going to overdo it – it was a sure thing that the scientists will want more tries, until they have enough data or until he passes out from exhaustion, either way. But not doing as he was ordered to was also warranted bad consequences, so Red moved, and moved, and moved until his chest was tight from too little of oxygen (but he was not suffocating yet), and the mist around barely budged. Then Red released the grip on that not-exactly-real-but-definitely-here thing in his chest, slipping back into the normal world.
There is a moment of total disorientation, the world spins around and then Red is falling down on suspiciously familiar outlines of buildings. Very small outlines, growing bigger and bigger with every second.
There is also the whistling of the wind in his ears, which is first time Red feels it, because there is usually not much wind underground, besides the small kudo-provided currents for ventilation. Red’s body tries to scream, which seems like a pretty normal thing to do in his current conditions, but apparently for screaming one needs to have air in their lungs, and Red has none, not able to take a breath, too deep in panic and with heart doing something like a thousand beats per second.
The black dots down on the ground become almost shinigami-shaped.
Red manages to think five words, forming one short “i am going to die” thought.
Then he pushes as strong as he can and goes back into the red mist, with almost no air in his lungs and totally disoriented. But even with urge to take a breath starting to really hurt Red still now has much more time to come up with a strategy to end up not-plummeted-to-his-death from falling from the height of… From a really big fall.
The thing is, teleportation can changes Red’s position and orientation in the space, but it saves the movement as it was at the moment of entering the red mist. It took a long time to adapt to, and Red still ends crashing into the floor or into a sparring partner or, on one memorable case, into a whole bunch of fragile scientific equipment.
So, in theory, think Red, fighting with himself to stay calm – or at least not in full panic – he just needs to go from facing down to facing up. Then the gravity will balance the vertical speed he already has, and the result will be zero. Um. And he probably still will be in the air, and if it would be too high, he will need to teleport down. Red slowly turns around into what he thinks would be a upwards position in the real world. Wait. He probably would not be able to teleport again, because using his powers two times in a row without a break is already unusual luck. Then… Then he needed to do it now, right? To move down as far as he can – but not too far, because if he ends under the upper portion of the cave system, he will certainly become a puddle on the top of one of the tunnels.
...He is so fucked right now.
On the last remains of oxygen in his lungs Red floats forward – so it would be down in the real world – for what kind of feels like almost the distance equal to the height he was at. Then he tries to brace himself, drops out back from the mist, and catches his last thought before everything goes dark despite the lamp on the ceiling of the cave system for a moment being so close that Red can distinguish separate glass panels.
He moved AFTER turning to face up.
===========================
A few minutes ago, testing room #7.
Kurodo had a bad feeling about this test. Red was too stubborn for his own good, so Kurodo was waiting for the moment when he will be dragging his friend’s half-unconsciousness body to their cell. But it was more or less normal outcome. Kurodo was for some reason more nervous than usual , and Red in contrast looked pretty calm.
Kurodo just really, really hoped that Red’s unexplainable ability to not teleport inside of a solid objects would not fail today. It never did before, but Kurodo’s imagination was sometimes… A little too good, and while it was useful for his powers, currently it made him uneasy.
At least it is not Ahiriku who is in charge today. This shinigami one is pretty chill by Kurodo’s standards, not prone to torturing and no expecting to be entertained in other ways. But you never can be too careful with shinigami, so Kurodo stands still with a pen at the ready. It pays off to be favored by scientists as not very smart, but obedient and literate assistant. For some reason labs are a little understaffed, and many shinigami here do not want to do a boring work of writing down the raw data.
- Test number one, long-distance teleportation, first run.
The shinigami’s voice is bored, the machine in front of him is humming and blinking a small green dot on the radar screen, currently showing a small zero in the data field. Kurodo glances on Red through the glass wall, and then returns to watching the screen. A quiet bang, and the zero on the screen morphs into a pretty big number. A big number which decreases really fast. And the green spot on the radar seems to stay as it was in its center.
- What the hell? Is it broke alre-
Kurodo rushes ahead and hits the emergency-failsafe button on the panel board at the same moment there is a much more loud sound of something shattering on a distance.
The papers which was in Kurodo’s hands a second ago are on the floor, but he could not care less. Because the green point on the radar finally moved from the center a little to the side. Because the radar shows Red’s chip, and Kurodo did activate the mechanism which should have send the signal to it to make Red teleport into the safety chamber, and since it worked, Red should be here, alive, not falling to his death.
Because Kurodo may be not the brightest candle in the chandelier, but he can connect two dots on how many directions someone can go from the zero point for projection of their position to stay at the same place.
There is some shouting following Kurodo’s escapade, and some explaining, and then – thankfully (it is a fucking blessing that it is not Ahiriku or one of his friends in charge) – some running as fast as Kurodo can, but it all merges into one gray monotony. And then there is the safety chamber, constructed soon after a first few – well, actually, it was closer to ten, but the scientists started to pay attention only when Red started accidentally breaking an equipment instead of his own bones – which should in theory stop any impulse Red still has after teleporting.
Kurodo freezes and tries to make his brain work.
Red is still in one piece, which is good.
There is a lot of blood, which is much less good, especially with the most of it pooling around Red’s head.
There are also a lot of glass shards for some reason, which is not bad on its own, but it is bad that some of them are inside Red’s skin.
And most importantly… Kurodo goes down on his knees and presses two almost-not-trembling fingers to Red’s neck, and finally breathes out. Red is alive.
And Kurodo will take care of the rest.
#writing_getsu#bleach noba#bleach nova#rusty_paths#okay dont laugh at me#whumptober2023#no.22#Glass Shard#bleach#fic#blood#falling#bleach kurodo#bleach fanfic#whumblr#writblr#whump writing#i am tagging it on whumptober rules because i was going to write it then but something went wrong#(also i apparently had my blog unlookable in search during the october)#so this is the story about how Nova got his scars (and started wearing a mask)#and how Kurodo almost got a heart attack
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Random Astro
🩵 Aquarius is the only air sign that can detach the fastest. They can shut down their feelings more easily
💙 Pisces is the only one who tends to live in their dreams rather than living in real life
🪷 Where Chiron touches, that's where the dark will come from
💚An earth moon will search for stability, security, and devotion in others' hearts
💘 An air rising will feel anxious if they don't see familiar people around them
💜 A Libra south node will have to search for their soulmate among the thousands of broken souls
❤️🩹 Virgo will try to be perfect in an imperfect world
🖤 Scorpio has to live in chaos to fully understand themselves and find themselves through darkness
💛 Taurus Placements will always try to look for kindness in people
🧚 Aries & Sagittarius Placements will always remind you to believe in yourself and to have faith
💌 You can learn how to forgive together with a Capricorn
💬 Gemini placements will let the silence to talk through them, silence speaks where words can't
🩷 Libra will be able to find love when they start to love themselves, love will find its place
🫶🏼 11th house placements will find their soul among others
💫 Neptune Dominants will try to make you see the world through different eyes
🕳 12th house placements will be lost in space while trying to find their purpose in life
❤️🔥 You can find the strongest love in natives who have Venus - Pluto aspects
🦋 Saturn dominants can find peace where others can not
🌷 Venus - Saturn natives will look for love from the wrong people
🪶 Jupiter Dominants must find their joy where their soul meets the ocean
🐬 Cancer placements will try to comfort you during your darkest days
🐠 The Leo will have to love himself where the mirrors have become shards
🦢 Living in peace is where the Venus Dominates will grow roots
🎆 You can learn what love truly means together with a 7th house Pluto/Mercury/Sun
🎐 Learning from mistakes is a step forward helping the Pluto dominants
🤍 Forgiving yourself is the best thing to do if you have Chiron/Lilith/Neptune/Saturn in the 1H
🎀 Jupiter - Moon aspects natives they will be attracted to the love within you rather than your body
🪩 Only those with 5th house placements can ignite your inner flame
🪻 9th house placements are pure proof that every soul is drawn to the place of its birth
🐏 Never be afraid to ask for help or guidance from Aries Placements, they will be there to do it with you
'He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe' 🪄🪄🪄
#astrology#astro community#astro blog#astrologers#astronotes#astral#asteroids#astro observations#astro.com#birth chart#astro notes#astrology observations#placements#horoscope#ascendant#rising#astro seek#astro com
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𝔄 𝔱𝔬𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔪𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔢
Mike munroe x male reader
Summary: Trapped in the freezing sanatorium, Mike notices your body trembling from the cold and takes matters into his own hands-literally. His touch starts out innocent, a way to warm you up, but soon it turns into something far more heated.
Tags: Male reader. He/him pronouns are used towards the reader. Wolfie being a good boy. Mike and Jess are not together in this. Friends to lovers. Smut. Gay smut. Top Mike munroe. Bottom male reader. Anal sex.
Note: I played the original game years ago, and now that I'm playing the remake, my crush on Mike has come back. He's such a good character with amazing development. I never expected to like him this much. I'm near chapter 7 of the remake, and I'm honestly loving it.
Can also be found on wattpad and ao3
Words counts: 3000
𝔅𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔶 𝔰𝔲𝔭𝔭𝔬𝔯𝔱
𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢'𝔰 𝔞 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔪
𝔗𝔴𝔬 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔰 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔬𝔤𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯
ℌ𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲
𝔍𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔶 𝔞𝔱 𝔅𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨𝔴𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔐𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫
𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔥 Part 2 of it
The cold of the sanatorium was oppressive. It seemed to leech the warmth from the very walls, seeping into your skin and bones, making every breath feel like you were inhaling shards of ice. As you and Mike rummaged through the mess of papers and debris in the dim, decaying room, the chill became impossible to ignore.
You had been at this for what felt like hours. Searching for anything, any clue, any scrap of information that could help you make sense of the nightmare you and your friends had stumbled into.
You wanted to focus. You needed to. But the cold was starting to weaken you. Your muscles ached from the effort of trying to stay warm, and despite your best attempts to keep it together, your hands were trembling as you shuffled through the scattered papers. The torn, thin jacket you'd found earlier did little to protect you, barely covering your torso, let alone insulating you from the freezing air.
Snowflakes continued to drift in from the broken windows, scattering across the dusty floor.
The place felt like a tomb. The smell of decay hung in the air, making every breath feel heavy, cold, and full of death.
Mike tried to stay focused, but even as his eyes scanned the scattered papers on the floor, his attention was pulled to you. You were over by the corner of the room, crouched low beside an old table, sifting through stacks of yellowed documents, your movements deliberate but slow. The jacket clung to you awkwardly, barely covering your arms and torso.
Even from across the room, he could hear your teeth chattering slightly, despite how hard you were trying to suppress it.
You always did that, pushing yourself even when it was clear you were struggling. Mike admired that about you, but it was also something that worried him. He knew you were trying to stay strong for him and the rest of the group, but the last thing Mike wanted was for you to get hurt or worse.
His thoughts raced, that protective instinct flaring up again. You didn't deserve this. You deserved to be somewhere warm, safe... with him.
He had been feeling that way for months now, ever since that night after he broke up with Emily. That night had changed everything for him. You were the one who stayed with him, sitting by his side, listening to him vent as he struggled to process the end of his long-term relationship.
You didn't just offer hollow platitudes; you gave him the kind of comfort and understanding he never knew he needed. He realized then, somewhere between the midnight conversation and the quiet moments of silence, that you were different. You weren't just his friend; you were the one person who made him feel like himself again.
After that night, he found himself constantly thinking about you. How easy it was to talk to you, how you made him laugh even when he felt like shit.
He'd find excuses to see you, call you up for help with college work, or invite you out for something casual. He always assumed you'd catch on quickly to his flirting, but you never did. Either he was terrible at flirting with a guy like you, or you were just completely oblivious.
Without a word, he began to unbutton his own jacket, which was far thicker and more insulated than the pathetic excuse you were wearing.
He held it out toward you.
"Here," he said simply. "Take it"
You shook your head immediately. "No. I'll be fine. You need it more than I do."
Mike narrowed his eyes, clearly not buying it. "You're freezing, man. You look like you're about to turn into an ice cube."
You tried to laugh it off, though it came out weak and unconvincing. "It's really not that bad. I can handle the cold. And it'd be selfish of me to take your jacket. There’s no way you're any warmer than I am."
With the simple tank top he was wearing underneath, now all dirty with mud and snow, it became even harder for you to stop staring at him. His muscular and strong arms drew your attention.
Mike sighed, holding the jacket out stubbornly towards you. "You're not fine. You're shaking like a leaf." He reached out, gently brushing his fingers over your arm, feeling the coldness of your skin even through the thin fabric of your jacket. "Just take it."
But you shook your head again, more firmly this time. "It wouldn't be fair," you murmured, looking down at the papers you were holding. "You need it just as much as I do. I can handle the cold. We've been through worse than this, right?"
Why couldn't you just let him take care of you for once?
"Come on," he tried again, his voice soft but insistent. "After everything we've been through tonight, hypothermia is the least of my worries. I'm not letting you freeze out here, not when I can do something about it."
You glanced up at him, your eyes softening for a moment, and for a second, Mike thought you might actually take the jacket. But then you shook your head again.
"I'll be fine, Mike."
Mike sighed heavily, his breath visible in the cold air as he ran a hand through his hair. "Damn it, you're stubborn.”
You gave him a small smile, trying to divert the conversation as you continued sorting through the papers. "I've been called worse."
Finally, with a deep sigh, Mike relented, shoving his jacket back on with a grumble.
Minutes passed in silence, the only sounds being the creak of old floorboards beneath your feet and the occasional rustle of paper. Wolfie, the wolf Mike had somehow managed to befriend, lay beside you, his fur brushing against your leg as he occasionally shifted.
Every so often, you'd reach down to scratch behind Wolfie's ears. His fur was soft under your fingertips.
You gripped the edges of the papers in your hand, hoping that somehow, just focusing on the task in front of you would make it better.
It didn't.
It was then that you noticed Mike shifting beside you and before you could react, his body was pressing up against your back, his arms wrapping around your waist in a firm but gentle hold. His warmth hit you immediately, and you couldn't stop the small gasp that escaped your lips at the sudden contrast.
"Mike?" you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper as you stiffened in surprise at the closeness.
"Relax," he murmured, his breath warm against the side of your neck. "If you won't take my jacket, I'll just have to warm you up myself." he whispered, his voice rough and low.
Your heart started to race, not just from the unexpected contact, but from the undeniable heat that surged through your body as Mike's lips brushed against the side of your neck. The sensation was electrifying, sending a shiver down your spine that had nothing to do with the cold this time.
His lips moved slowly, deliberately, trailing soft kisses down the length of your neck, each one sending a wave of heat through your body. Your body was leaning into his touch, craving more of the warmth and comfort he was offering.
This wasn't the Mike you were used to. This was something far more intimate, more personal.
"Mike... I don't..." you began, but your words trailed off as his lips found a particularly sensitive spot just below your ear, making your breath hitch in your throat.
"You don't what?" he asked softly, his hand sliding up from your waist to rest on your chest, pulling you even closer against him. "You don't want this?"
Of course you wanted it. More than anything, really. You'd been harboring feelings for Mike for so long, feelings you'd kept hidden, thinking there was no way he'd ever see you as anything more than a friend, a study partner, a background presence in his life.
But now, with his body pressed against yours and his lips trailing fire down your neck, it was clear that Mike had been seeing you in a very different light for a while.
"I didn't think..." you started, your voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't think you felt like this about me."
He hadn't planned on this happening, not exactly. But as he held you in his arms, feeling the heat of your body against his, he couldn't deny how good it felt, how right it felt to be this close to you. For years, he had pushed his feelings for you to the back of his mind, thinking it wasn't something you'd ever want. You were smart, focused, always so kind.
He pressed closer, his lips trailing lower along your collarbone, his fingers gently digging into your waist. The torn jacket you were wearing slid down slightly, giving him better access to your skin, and he took full advantage of it, kissing his way down your neck with slow, deliberate movements.
Mike's lips paused against your skin, and he pulled back, his expression soft but intense. "You really didn't notice, did you?" He chuckled softly, shaking his head. "I've been trying to get you to see it for months. I thought you'd pick up on it, but... guess I'm not as smooth as I thought."
You blinked at him, your mind reeling. "You've... been trying to tell me?"
"Yeah," he admitted, his thumb brushing gently against your cheek. "I've been dropping hints since we stayed up all night after Emily and I broke up. You were there for me, man. And ever since then I just... I couldn't stop thinking about you."
"I didn't think you'd ever feel like that about me," you confessed, your voice shaky with disbelief.
Mike smiled softly, his thumb brushing over your cheek as he pulled you a little closer. "I noticed the way you looked at me," he said quietly, his breath warm against your skin. "All those times you'd stare at me, thinking I didn't see. You were so fucking adorable, but it drove me crazy."
You blinked up at him, clearly shocked by the confession. Mike chuckled softly, his lips brushing over your jawline, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your waist. "You're not that good at hiding it, you know."
Before you could respond, Mike kissed you. His lips hungry, filled with all the emotions he hadn't been able to express before. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer.
You responded almost immediately, your lips parting under his, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as you pulled him closer.
Mike deepened the kiss, his hands slipping beneath your jacket, his fingers tracing the outline of your hips, your waist, your chest. His tongue dipped past your lips.
After a long moment, Mike pulled back just enough to whisper, his voice low and rough, "You're okay with this, right?"
You didn't even hesitate this time. You nodded, breathless.
Mike's grin widened, and without another word, he kissed you again, even more deeply this time. His hands moved up your sides, tugging at the edges of your jacket as he pressed you against the wall.
You pulled him closer, your hands tangling in his hair as the heat between you both grew.
Mike's lips left yours, trailing down your jaw and back to your neck, his hands roaming your body as if he couldn't get enough of you. Your breath coming in shallow gasps as he kissed his way down to your collarbone, his grip on your waist tightening.
You wanted more, needed more, and judging by the way Mike was holding you with his erection pressing insistently against you, he felt the same.
He pulled back slightly, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips as he glanced over at Wolfie, who had been lying quietly in the corner of the room.
He bent down, ruffling the fur of the wolf who had been sitting quietly in the corner of the room. "Go on, buddy," Mike whispered. "Follow me for a second."
The wolf trotted after Mike as he stepped out of the room, leaving you alone for a few moments, heart still racing. You could hear him talking softly to Wolfie just outside the door, something about how you were "the guy" he'd told the wolf about before.
When Mike came back into the room, locking the door behind him, the intensity in his eyes made your pulse quicken even more.
Without wasting another second, Mike crossed the room in a few quick strides and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you into a deep, hungry kiss. His lips were insistent, full of desire, and you couldn't help but melt into him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you kissed him back with just as much need.
Mike's hands roamed over your body, gripping your hips, pulling you closer. His tongue teased at your lips before slipping into your mouth, deepening the kiss.
He broke the kiss just long enough to mutter, "God, I've wanted you for so long."
Then, his lips were on yours again. His hands gripping you even tighter, pressing you against the nearest wall as his mouth trailed down your neck, nipping and biting at the sensitive skin there.
His hands were on you, pulling at your clothes, lowering them to expose just what was needed with an almost frantic urgency, before he gripped your ass, his fingers digging into the soft skin with a possessive intensity as he lifted you slightly, pressing his body against your.
"Relax," Mike whispered, his voice low and commanding as his fingers trailed down, teasingly brushing against your entrance. "Let me take care of you."
He teased you for a moment, his fingers gently exploring before he slowly pushed one inside, his eyes never leaving yours.
"You're so fucking tight," he groaned, his voice low and gravelly.
He moved his finger slowly at first, watching your face for every reaction, but as you relaxed into his touch, he added another finger, stretching you carefully.
Mike's other hand reached up to cup your face, his thumb brushing gently over your cheek as he leaned in to kiss you again, this time slower, more tender.
By the time Mike pulled his fingers out of you, you were trembling with anticipation, your body aching for him.
You heard the rustle of fabric as he undid his pants, and then you felt the tip of his hard cock rubbing against your thigh.
"Ready for me?" he asked, his voice low and rough.
You could barely nod, your entire body trembling with need. Mike lined himself up, his hands gripping your hips firmly, and then, with one slow, steady thrust, he pushed inside.
The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and pain as he stretched you, filled you completely. He moved slowly at first, watching your face for any sign of discomfort, but all you could do was moan softly, your hands clutching at his shoulders.
"You're perfect," Mike groaned as he began to move, his hips moving with slow, deliberate motions. "You feel so fucking good."
Mike's hands were everywhere, gripping your hips, sliding up your chest, cupping your face as he kissed you hungrily. His cock filled you completely, each slow thrust sending waves of pleasure through your body.
His hands moved lower, his fingers finding their way between your legs as he stroked you in time with his thrusts.
The more his pace picked up, the more his movements became rougher, more desperate. He kissed you again, biting at your lips, your neck, his hands gripping your ass tightly as he pulled you closer with each thrust.
"Fuck," Mike groaned, his voice low and husky. His soft grunts filling the cold room as he moved inside you.
The pleasure built to an unbearable peak as his thrusts became faster, harder. You could feel the heat spreading through your body, your muscles tensing as you teetered on the edge.
And then, with one final, deep thrust, Mike groaned loudly, his hands gripping you tightly as he came, his cock pulsing inside you. The sensation sent you over the edge as well, and you cried out as your own orgasm ripped through you, your voice muffled against his neck.
After a few moments of catching your breath and letting the weight of everything settle in, Mike pressed another soft kiss to your forehead before pulling away slightly, his hands lingering on your hips. You could see the satisfied smile tugging at his lips, that playful, cocky expression you had grown so used to over the years. He gave you a wink before straightening up, pulling his pants back up and adjusting himself as if nothing had happened.
You followed suit, your body still buzzing with the aftermath. There was something so surreal about it all. Being here, with Mike Munroe, of all people. You had known him for years, but you had never imagined things would end up like this.
Once you were both dressed and more or less presentable, Mike walked over to the door, unlocking it with a soft click.
"Ready to face Wolfie again? He might be a little upset that we kicked him out." He glanced back at you, a mischievous smile playing on his lips, before swinging the door open.
Outside, Wolfie was sprawled out across the floor, his furry body taking up most of the tight hallway. The wolf's ears twitched at the sound of the door opening, and he turned his head to glance at the two of you. His golden eyes scanned you two and then, with what could only be described as a huff, he plopped his head back down onto the floor, letting out a long sigh as if he had been deeply offended by the delay.
"Is he pouting?" you asked, incredulous.
Mike smirked, clearly amused by the wolf's behavior. "What? You jealous, buddy?" he teased as he crouched down beside Wolfie. The wolf, still looking somewhat begrudging, turned his head away, as if refusing to acknowledge Mike.
Mike reached out, scratching Wolfie behind the ears, his voice dropping into a low, playful tone. "Come on, don't be mad. I was just doing my part to keep him warm. You know how cold it is here."
You watched as Wolfie's resolve began to crumble under Mike's touch, his tail thumping softly against the floor as Mike scratched behind his ears. Mike chuckled, his cocky grin growing wider. "See? I warmed him up real good. All thanks to me."
Wolfie responded with a soft growl. He finally turned his head back toward Mike and he ruffled his fur, looking pleased with himself.
"Yeah, yeah," you said, rolling your eyes but unable to stop the smile from spreading across your face.
Mike stood up, shooting you a wink as he slung his arm around your shoulder. "Damn right, I did." He leaned in to press a soft, quick kiss to your lips.
Together, you and Mike walked down the hallway, Wolfie trotting along beside you. And as Mike gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, you couldn't help but feel grateful that, through all the chaos and terror of the night, you had found someone worth fighting for.
If you liked this story please leave a comment, I love reading them <3.
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To Kiss or To Kill. | Daryl Dixon |
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Masterlist
Summary: You and Daryl's relationship did not start kind. It did not begin as a friendship that turned sour over a quarrel. It began with fists and insults and continued this way until unforeseen circumstances leave you discovering that maybe Daryl and you were cut from the same cloth.
Warnings: rivals to lovers trope, daddy issues, language, descriptions of fights + bodily injuries, brief mentioning of homophobia, attempted SA, Reader is mentioned to be bisexual.
Word Count: aprox. 10k
Era: Prison to Alexandria
A/n: This is not my proudest work and I definitely think I could've done better with the material but I hope it can still be enjoyed!
Song recommendations: Ultraviolence - Lana Del Ray, Daylight - David Kushner , Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain
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A lemon is sour from the start and rots with age.
The relationship you shared with Daryl could be described as said lemon.
It was nearing the end of summer. And though this meant the end of scorching heat, the winter proved to be a difficult season for survival. This morning at the prison had begun like any other. Daryl, Maggie, and Glenn we’re set out on a run to find any supplies necessary for the growing community. With all the new folk after the fall of the Governor only a few weeks before, it put more pressure on the group in their endless searches.
The town in which the prison resided did not hold many options when it came to scavenging but there was one place not yet explored. Pike County High School, the only high school in the small town of Zebulon, Georgia. Daryl thought the plan was futile. What was he to find in a high school besides dusty textbooks and inappropriate drawings in the bathroom stalls?
But none the less, Rick sent the trio on their way with a list of items in hand.
The school was as Daryl expected. Papers were thrown about the floors. Windows were broken leaving glass shards to crunch underneath their boots. Desks and chairs were thrown about. And worst of all, there was an eeriness that loomed the chaotic halls. But there was something else hanging in the air, stillness.
Maggie banged her gun on the rusted lockers and waited for any walkers to make themselves known. But the silence that followed was so loud you could practically hear the wind gliding through the shattered windows. Daryl took it a step further and threw a chair down the hall, creating a loud clattering noise as it collided with the wall. Yet still, nothing.
"Alright," Glenn muttered, his uneasiness just as high as the others. "Let's get what we need and get the hell out." Glenn pulled the list from his pocket, "Daryl find the nurse's office, take whatever you find no matter how unimportant it seems. Rick asked us to find some good books for the kids." Glenn passed the list over to a very unamused Daryl.
"Guess I ain't smart enough to find some books."
Daryl walked the halls of the school, crossbow in hand, keeping his ears peeled for any movements that weren’t his own. The silence unsettled Daryl for two reasons. There could be someone residing here which would make sense with the absence of walkers. But he could not shake the thought that there were once children who roamed these halls. Kids who were Carl’s age now. Kids who were planning who they wanted to be, and what they wanted their lives to be. But now their dreams were just as grim as these empty halls.
He spotted it as his gaze wandered from the walls to the floor.
Droplets of deep red stained the tile, varying in size and opacity. Daryl dragged his fingers along the droplets, smearing the coagulated blood. The blood was not as dry as Daryl had hoped.
Daryl drew his bow closer to himself, resting his finger on the trigger, and slowing his steps as he followed the trail of crimson dots. They led him exactly where he needed to be, the nurse's office.
The wood door creaked open, the natural light from the windows lighting the room. The scene worsened in the room. There were now blood smears staining the floors, cabinets swung open and drawers left agape. Someone had obviously barged in in a hassle, with desperate need to help themselves.
What concerned Daryl was the adjoined room to the far left, he could not see into the area unless he approached it directly. Keeping his bow up, he proceeded. Just as the tip of his bow peeked its way around the corner, it was knocked from his hands with a single blow.
Daryl had not known what knocked his bow from his grasp but he sure as hell felt the hit to his jaw.
The punch you had thrown sent a throbbing through your right hand, and the tendons in your arm fizzled with the sudden force. The man reacted quickly, grabbing you by both arms and pulling you away from the wall you had been hidden behind.
You ripped an arm from his grasp quick enough to unsheathe the blade on your thigh. The struggle continued, both of you equally pulling at the other in an attempt for dominance while simultaneously avoiding the cut of the blade. Random objects clattered to the ground in the tussle, including an old coffee mug falling and shattering.
The wound you had acquired on your leg was not helpful in this situation. Had your adrenaline not been so high, you would have dropped long ago. While you struggled to keep yourself standing, Daryl was simply shocked at the brute force of the woman in his grasp.
You paused for a moment, your grip on your knife tightening until your knuckles turned white. Just then you were able to look at him. Daryl saw the determination in your eyes. And though there was determination, there also seemed to be a pleading.
But with one forceful shove, you fell back, your leg buckling under you and your head hitting a cabinet.
A painful gasp left you, feeling the poorly done stitches rip your wound open again. Dropping your knife, your shaking hands grasped at the wound on your thigh as you pulled your back up against the cabinets. Your chest heaved with a mixture of adrenaline and pain. The skin on your thigh seared hot, every nerve around the wound throbbing.
Had you been paying attention, you would’ve noticed the man grip up his bow that was now aimed at you. It gave him time to examine you. You did not look dirty and unkept as other survivors had. Your hair was pulled back into a messy braid at the back of your head. Clothes black, all the way down to your boots. Holsters for weapons hung from your hips and thighs. And a pair of dog tags dangled around your neck.
“Daryl!” Maggie and Glenn came rambling through the door, weapons drawn. Daryl held a hand up to them, signaling that he was fine. The school was not one of great size, it did not surprise Daryl that they’d heard the tussle.
With the arrival of two new faces, you made an attempt to grab the blade you’d drop. But Daryl was quick and kicked the blade away leaving your hand to smack against the tile floor. Now left with no weaponry and not even a stable body to defend yourself, you’d figured you’d start begging to them or praying to God.
“I-I just want to leave. I’m-“ The sudden sharp tingle in your thigh cut your words short. You clenched your jaw tight and shut your eyes waiting for the muscle spasm to pass. “You’re not going anywhere on that leg.” Maggie holstered her gun and met you on the floor. There was a hesitation to her but in her heart she knew leaving you would be a death sentence. “My daddy can help you.”
“Maggie…”
“Glenn.” Maggie’s tone was stern, sending her husband a threatening glare.
While Maggie began to ask you questions, she motioned for the two men to scavenge the room. “What’s your name?”
“Y/n…”
Maggie pulled a handkerchief from her back pocket, scooting even closer to you. She motioned for you to lift your leg, “I’m Maggie. That’s Glenn and then Daryl.” She slipped the fabric beneath it, tying it in a tight knot around your wound. You winced at this, resisting the urge to pull her hands off of you.
“How many walkers have you killed?” Your eyebrows furrowed at the question. Had you known you were meant to keep track, you would’ve started long ago. “I don’t…know…a lot?” Your words were stuttered and shaken considering the pain you felt. You saw the man you had just fought glance at you from the corner of his eye. You began to debate if you should feel guilt for attacking him.
“That’s okay,” Maggie gave you a kind smile, “How many people have you killed?” She watched your face falter and your eyes shift to the ground then back to her. “Eight, I think.” Maggie gently nodded, her tone becoming slightly more serious “Why?”
“I’ve been alone for a long time.”
Maggie’s eyes met yours and for a moment, while you held each other's gaze, there was an understanding. An understanding that only another woman could begin to fathom.
Your arrival at the prison was nothing short of chaotic. The run starting as three and returning as four, though a possibility, was not expected.
A man with a beard pulled Daryl aside beginning to hound him with questions, Maggie supported you as you stood while Glenn ran off shouting the name Hershel. Much of everything after that was blurry. You could remember the man with the white beard mainly due to his kindness and gentle touch while he took care of your wounds. And you remembered the name Rick being tossed about in conversation.
"Let her rest." Hershel patted Glenn on the shoulder, muttering him a thank you for his help.
You lay flat on your back, your head and leg propped up with a pillow. You could not say it was the comfiest bed you'd ever laid in. You weren't even sure it was cozier than where you slept the night before. You fought the tiredness away, unsure of falling asleep in an unfamiliar community. But the medicine Hershel gave you made you drowsy. And soon every muscle felt heavy and your eyelids heavier.
You were unsure of how long you'd slept, only being startled awakened by the clank of metal. Rick noticed his mistake immediately pulling his hand away from the door of the cell, now standing with a guilty look on his face. "I'm sorry. I forget how loud these things are." You took a deep breath in an attempt to calm your beating heart. Rick entered the cell, opening the foldable chair Hershel had previously been sitting on.
"Was gonna drop these off for when ya woke up." Rick held up a glass of water and some type of protein bar. You adjusted yourself into a more proper sitting position, sending Rick a nod. As your mind awoke you became very conscious of your lack of pants, pulling the blanket farther up your waist. You were grateful that Ricks seemed to avert his eyes.
"I'm Rick.” His accent was noticeable.
“Y/n.” Just like your own.
“Maggie and Daryl told me a little bit about you but I wanted to speak with you directly.”
Rick held a certain type of authority to him. He spoke to you politely while still holding himself with dominance. A certain awkwardness became present when Rick spent a tad bit too long racking his brain for a question. “M’sorry about attacking, uhm… Daryl.” You decided to cut the awkwardness yourself.
To your surprise, Rick chuckled at your apology. “Please don’t apologize.” He looked at you, still with a smile on your face. “You were doing what you thought was right.” Rick shifted in the metal chair, resting his elbows atop his knees. "Did you serve?" Rick pointed to your neck, "Is that how you learned to fight?" You instinctively reached for the dog tags hanging from their chain.
"No no, they were my dads." You rubbed the smooth metal anxiously, feeling the indents of the letters and numbers imprinted. "I was an only child, only daughter at that, so my dad was rather protective of me... He had me in every boxing or self-defense class he could afford." A chuckle followed your words, reminiscing on the memory. Rick could understand your father's need to protect, having two children of his own.
"Rick." A gruff voice interrupted your conversation. The man named Daryl took up the doorway. When his eyes met yours, he seemed to falter under your gaze. He nudged his head in the opposite direction, asking for Rick to come with him. "Alright." Rick stood from the chair with an exasperated sigh, "Imma leave this right here for ya." Rick placed the water and protein bar on the chair in his place.
On his way out, he turned to you, "Maggie's gonna bring you up some clean clothes and help you get washed up. That alright?" His kind, yet tired, eyes sought an answer. You nodded and muttered a quiet thank you in return.
Your time in the prison since then could only be described as isolating. The injury on your leg kept you mostly restrained to the bed in your newly appointed cell. So, most of your time was spent with Maggie, Hershel, and occasionally Rick coming and going. Maggie cared for you in any way she could, nourishing you with food and assisting you in showering and changing. She had seemed to take a liking to you, as you did her, and you assumed you could now call her a friend.
However, there was another you don't think you could call much of anything.
Maggie helped you outside to the courtyard after you’d expressed that you were going mad looking at the same four walls. She’d left you with the book of Little Women, a blank leather journal, and a blue ink pen. “Holler if you need me, okay?” Maggie gently patted your shoulder before departing to meet Glenn only a few yards away.
Being outside after your imprisonment for the last 5 days, revived something in you. The heat from the sun's rays provided warmth on your skin but the cool breeze prevented you from overheating. You could not remember the last time you'd been outdoors without your head on a swivel or without the fear of being someone's dinner.
You could not focus on your book or your journal with the people who walked about the courtyard throwing glances your way. Everyone had heard about, the girl with the leg injury, with time. Random passers-by flashed you smiles, small waves, or even shy hello’s all of which you felt inclined to return.
“Y/n?” Though the voice was familiar, it did not stop the annoyance of having to put your pen down once again. You looked to the man, “Hi Rick.” Rick gleamed with a smile on his face “I’m glad to see you out here.”
Rick took it upon himself to take a seat at the table across from you making it obvious he desired to continue this conversation.
"Were you able to think about what we talked about?" Rick came by yesterday evening with a proposition for you. He invited you to join in with the group of people who went on runs for the community. Once you were fully healed, of course.
The only downside to this was who your main run partner was to be, Daryl. Rick saw something between you that you weren’t quite sure you saw yourself.
Daryl felt a wave of awkwardness standing behind Rick as he spoke to you. The same awkwardness he felt only a few days before standing in that doorway. Daryl knew of Rick's plans having been talked to about it only a few hours before.
He felt no need for a run partner. He was perfectly fine going about on his own but Rick thought the opposite.
What if something happens to you?
What if you get stuck somewhere?
We can’t afford to send search parties out for you.
All valid arguments from Rick. But Daryl had no desire to hear any of it. His stubbornness made him deaf.
Daryl could very clearly see you now. Whatever dirt and grime washed away revealed a remarkable woman. Your hair appeared soft and your dark eyes almost sparkled with the sun. He could see the definition of muscles on your biceps, highlighted by the short sleeves of your shirt. How you composed yourself screamed confidence as if you knew you were too pretty for a world so ugly.
And it infuriated him.
“Yeah, I uh...I wanna help any way I can.” Rick seemed pleased with your answer though the person behind him did not. You shifted in your seat, feeling Daryl’s eyes burn into you. In an attempt to redeem yourself, you spoke again, “If there’s anything I can do now, I want to.” Rick nodded at this, “We’ll find ya something.”
You could hear Daryl scoff from behind Rick. And though you tried to ignore it, you could not help the sour look you gave him in return. Daryl saw this as an invitation to continue his pronounced distaste.
“Don’t need someone who can’t walk holding me down.”
"Don't need someone who couldn't fight a girl holding me down."
Your response was quick-witted and more degrading to Daryl's masculinity than his insult to your injury. If you weren't mistaken, Daryl's eye twitched.
Rick stood from his seat to begin their exit, knowing the lengths of Daryl's temper. "You ain't nothing I couldn't handle." The chuckle you responded with and the glint of excitement in your eyes at the looming argument tested Daryl even more. "Sure, Daryl."
It was the first time you'd ever spoken his name to him. And he never stopped thinking of it for days to come. The way it rolled off your tongue and sounded with that southern twang. It left him restless at night and irritable during the day.
When your leg had healed and you'd grown tired of cleaning the library or serving daily meals, your first outing with Daryl was set. And it started just as rocky as it ended.
"Ya get bit, I ain't gonna hesitate to put a bullet in yer head."
"Why wait? I'm standing right here."
You remained quiet after that, not wanting to push the tension even more. But even the simplest of questions left Daryl huffing and puffing. It started with you asking how his morning was going. And it ended with you asking why he was such a prick.
It was a silent ride home.
You'd like to think you'd tried to find his good side in those beginning days but you soon began to question if such a thing even existed. Any time you were kind to him, he retaliated with anger. It brought out a certain type of frustration in you that you didn’t know was possible.
Within your time at the prison, you'd made yourself an esteemed part of the community. You used your [now useless] degree in agriculture to help build the gardens and begin the planting of any seeds you could find. Rick took a heavy trust in you and appointed you a seat on the prison council. And you'd shown your skills in scavenging, even when you had Daryl breathing down your neck.
It was difficult to pinpoint exactly when this whole charade started. Perhaps it had started in the nurse's office, in the courtyard, or on your first run together. But it did not matter where it began because there was one thing for sure, there seemed to be no end.
You both had a hold over another, in a way no one else did.
Daryl hated your confidence because he lacked his own. He hated that you were quick to go toe to toe with him. Because many others were too scared. He despised that you were so smart, a college graduate. And he especially hated when you spoke so highly of your father. Because he didn’t have a father to talk about at all.
But there was always a ting of something in all of his hate. Jealousy.
You hated his ego. You hated the fact that he contradicted everything you said. You hated when he called you names. Princess, he’d say or, miss college graduate. You hated that he never even tried to get to know you; to know that you weren’t this pretentious brat he painted you to be. Despite being with each other on a regular basis, there was a lacking of personal connection.
Neither of you truly knew the other. Where did he grow up? Has he ever broken any bones? What was his favorite candy as a child? When did he have his first drink?
Daryl pondered the same of you. Who taught you to braid your hair? You spoke of your father but never your mother, what happened to her? Why the dog tags? Have you ever loved another?
It was a day familiar to all the others. Your hot morning tea whirled about in your mug, your feet gliding gently around the grounds of the growing garden. After all your laborious hours in the Georgia heat, it was gratifying to see the various plants take bloom. Knowing there'd soon be a garden big enough to feed the community gave you satisfaction and perhaps a sliver of peace.
"You comin' or what?"
And there goes another blissful morning pissed down the drain.
Your long braid fell from your shoulder to your back when you looked at the disgruntled man. "We might need to find you a new mattress." You made your way to him, shoving your mug into his chest, "You can't ever seem to find a good side to wake up on." He scoffed, involuntarily taking your mug. The two of you, along with Michonne and Glenn, were set out on yet another run. Not one of great importance nor would it take that long of time but nonetheless it was still time spent around him.
Daryl followed behind you as you continued your way back to the prison, mug still in hand. "Michonne and Glenn are waitin' while yer staring at some fuckin' bushes." It was your turn to scoff, "They're not bushes. It's food. And a lot of fucking work."
Oh, Daryl knew how much work it had taken from you.
In the weeks he'd spent out in the gardens, his eyes worked more than his hands. He couldn't not look. You wore a tank top every day with the same black gardening gloves and dog tags dangling from your neck. The muscles in your biceps were always highlighted from the hours of digging. The blistering sun always had you drenched in sweat leaving your skin constantly glossy. Words couldn't describe the way he felt when it was dripping down your neck and into the crevice of your breast.
He was outraged for the entire three weeks.
"Whatever."
The mug in his hand became very apparent to him. "When the hell ya give me this?" He now strode beside you, approaching the car at the gates. You smiled to yourself, "A while ago."
Daryl would have preferred to ride his bike to avoid being trapped in such a confined space with you. But it was, “A waste of gas” as Rick would say.
You weren’t exactly sure what Daryl had done. But he had particularly did you in today. So greatly that you almost walked home. Glenn had to beg you to come back. Perhaps it was the way he glared at you that threw you over the edge. So cold and hostile. Or the way he stepped all over your feet, cutting you off mid-sentence, always thinking that he was right. You were simply always wrong.
This particular run would change the trajectory of your relationship forever.
You and Daryl had split in the strip mall, deciding to cover more ground separately. The strip was usually overrun with a hoard of walkers but as of late, they seemed to be diminishing one at a time. It had become clear enough to begin digging at the stores it held. Some random clothing stores, liquor shops, a CVS pharmacy, and dead restaurants.
You were rummaging about the pharmacy, most of it already picked through.
Examining the bottle of prenatal vitamins in your hand for Maggie, you heard footsteps. Thinking it was Daryl you spoke. "It's not like these expiration dates even matter anymore." Blind to your danger, you turned to face him.
Before you were given time to react to the two strange men, you were grabbed by the back of your neck, pulling at the nape of your hair, a blade held to the side of your throat. The bottle dropped from your hand, clattering to the floor. You grasped the man's arm attempting to keep the blade from your skin but you'd failed; cuts appeared on the delicate skin.
"Stay." The other man reached for your gun belt, unholstering your weapon and keeping it for himself. You kept your calm but your eyes widened with fear. "Scream and you'll die." The short man with the knife moved it away from your throat, his hand freeing your neck. The other man, who had taken your gun, now had it pointed at you.
It was loaded. You knew because you were the one who'd loaded it that very morning.
"Ya can't just come into the place we've worked so hard to clean up and start taking things...we need some form of payment."
"I have my bag." You offered hoping they would merely steal your things and go. Slowly, not taking your eyes off them, you moved your pack off your back. "There's food and ammo and other supplies." Your bag was snatched from your hands with haste. "Thank you." It wasn't genuine, just taunting.
"But that's not what we want." Their eyes looked at you more hungry than any walker. Once you realize what they meant, tears begin to blur your vision. You could feel them begin to come closer to you. Feeling helpless and too stunned to cry out for Daryl, you weren't sure if you should start fighting or begging.
Daryl heard your continuous screeches from down the way, dropping his bag of clothing. "Y/n!" His feet carried him to you swiftly. You cried his name shoving one man off of you from your pinned spot against the shelves. It was foolish of Daryl to begin shooting so wildly.
Luckily you moved to the floor in avoidance of the bullets, covering your head and blocking your ears.
You kept yourself crouched on the ground, deaf to what was happening around you. Until a hand grabbed your bicep and hoisted you from the ground, "Come on, we gotta go." For once you were relieved to see Daryl.
But you wouldn't be for long.
"We shouldn't have split up!" Daryl shouted. He was walking too fast for you to keep up, as he did at times. You trailed behind him stumbling your way over the branches and leaves in an attempt to make it back to the road with his bike. "You always got stupid fuckin' ideas!" Daryl's adrenaline was still pumping, too ignorant to think of you. He muttered to himself, “Course there was people, walkers don’t just clear out by themselves.”
He marched onto the blacktop.
"Ya talk big game just to not do nothing to help yourself." Daryl was angrily throwing the green brush off his bike, removing it from its hidden spot in the treeline. "Always talkin' 'bout yer daddy and what he did for ya." Daryl said this more to himself but it didn’t fail to reach your ears.
"Well, where was he now yuh?" Daryl turned around to face you, his chest heaving. Only to catch you in the midst of buttoning your pants. Guilt dreaded him.
You didn't care to hear his insults. And you had no desire to get on that bike and be so close to him right now.
"I.." Words couldn't find themselves in your mouth. All you could focus on was the way everything felt frozen yet moving at an intense speed at the same time. Daryl saw the way you struggled with yourself.
There was a twisting pain within your chest as your panic only grew. "Y/n." Daryl put his frustrations aside, the situation becoming clear to him now. He swallowed down his pride and reached a hand out to you. Before his fingertips could even graise the fabric of your shirt, you took a step back. "No." You spoke gently, looking out to the woods instead of to Daryl; all you could fathom now was the desire to escape.
"Y/n," Daryl repeated more soft, "We gotta go home."
"I don't want to." You turned back to him abruptly. He could see the tears irritating your eyes. Where your hands lay across your chest, you could feel your rapid heart.
"Why not?" Daryl couldn't understand why you wouldn't want to go home. It was safe, it was comfortable. Two things you desperately need right now.
"I can't, I…I can't get on the bike right now." Your frustration with yourself was growing.
Why couldn't you just get on the bike?
Why couldn't you breathe?
Why didn't you listen to Daryl and not split up?
Why was Daryl being so kind to you suddenly? Was it pity? You hated pity.
"Alright." Daryl watched the tears begin to roll down your cheeks. "We can walk, it's alright." There was no way of making it back to the prison on foot before sundown. Daryl knew this. But it was a sacrifice he was willing to make for you.
Daryl gripped the handles on his bike, walking the heavy machine down the road with you in tow. You were seemingly able to calm yourself down. The only thing remaining now was shame. You were embarrassed that Daryl had seen you so vulnerable. And you were even more embarrassed that he had to save you.
All the countless years felt wasted. All that time spent in the ring or on some thin gym mats. All those tireless nights where your father wouldn’t allow you to rest until you got one more. It was a phrase all too familiar.
You knew Daryl was annoyed having to walk, his huffs and buffs gave it away. The sun was beginning to set. "Daryl we can drive." You tried to persuade for the third time. "S'fine."
"Daryl, it's getting dark."
"S'fine!" He shouted back frustrated with the disappearing sun. You stopped in your tracks. "I know somewhere we can sleep."
You could hear the soft sounds of the water flowing down the river bed. The moon allowed a glow onto the water, gleaming with the current. Crickets and cicadas chirped in the night air like music to your ears. Despite the struggles of being in the wilderness alone, nights like this made you miss it.
"What ya doin' over there?" Daryl asked sitting a few feet behind you at the fire. "Nothing."
You pushed yourself from the ground, making your way back to him. Daryl bitterly smoked his cigarette. You didn't need to ask to know why he was so irritated, you could already imagine. Perhaps catching the fish for dinner was what did it. Or the hundreds of pounds of metal he walked for miles. Or maybe he actually was mad about having to save you. Or the simple fact that he was stuck out here with you.
You couldn't pick one.
No words were spoken, just the sounds of the wilderness and the crackling of the fire. It allowed you to think.
You began to wonder if you'd ever actually hated him. Because how could you hate someone you'd grown such an attachment to? How could you hate the person you screamed out for in your time of need? There were countless days where he'd anger you so much you thought you might actually strangle him. But somehow you always went right back. You always met him at the gates or stumbled upon him at breakfast.
Staring off into the fire you began to accept that you all along had been trying [and presumably failing] to win him over. "You okay?" Your eyes looked from the fire to him. His cigarette no longer present, "M'fine." You replied.
Daryl would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about you. Just because he didn't care for you at times, didn't mean he doesn't care about you. "It happened a couple times out on the road. I could handle it then...I just..." You shifted where you sat, "Got surprised today was all." To hear this wasn't the first time but a time of many, gutted Daryl.
You had become more afraid of encountering a man than a walker.
Daryl was never angry with you. He was more angry with himself, unable to protect you from finding yourself in such a situation.
"Wasn't yer fault. M'sorry." Shockingly, Daryl's guilt overshined his ego.
You let out a deep sigh looking back out towards the water. You knew his apology was sincere but you couldn't find the courage to acknowledge it. "I was just thinking about how I miss it out here sometimes. The sounds, the views, the peace."
Your confidence and sharp tongue did not seem present at this moment. Looking back to him, he seemed completely entranced by this newfound gentle side of you. "But that's only one percent of it, isn't it?" Daryl never took his eyes off yours, the fire casting an orange glow within them. "Yeah."
The other ninety - nine percent was the actual survival. All the bloody fights. The permanent anxiety. The sleepless nights due to fear. The painful emptiness of your stomach. The constant blisters on your ankles [that never healed] from running or walking. And the unbearable hopelessness.
"Were ya always alone?" Daryl had always been curious. You shook your head, "No." He nodded his head and looked away, leaving it at that. He had no desire to make your night even more miserable by talking about the ones you'd lost.
"It was just me and my brother for awhile."
"Meryl?"
Daryl furrowed his eyebrows knowing he'd never mentioned him before.
"Maggie's talked about him briefly."
"All nice things?" Daryl asked sarcastically.
"Not really." Your attempt to stifle your laugh was a failure, the smile lingering. But this did not anger Daryl the way you thought it would. Instead, he had his own small smile, scoffing and shaking his head. "He wasn't the best at times...but he was my brother ya know?"
You nodded muttering a, yeah.
Daryl flicked the butt of his cigarette into the dying fire. Knowing this was the first and potentially last time you'd ever speak to another so tenderly again, you continued.
"I was an only child. My mom died in childbirth when I was eight…so I never got siblings."
"M'sorry."
"Don't." You didn't say it to be cruel. You grew up hearing sympathy after sympathy, you did not need anymore. "I was never alone though. I had my Dad. And my aunt and uncles helped take care of me so I was surrounded by my cousins all the time...I guess I did have siblings in a way." A nauseating wave of nostalgia rose in your throat, silencing you for a mere second.
"My mom died when I was young too. 'Cept my Dad was just some drunk asshole, didn't care 'bout nobody but himself." Daryl couldn't deny his slight envy towards you. You grew up with a father who cared for you and your safety. It made him wonder how you'd ended up alone in the end.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't need yer apologies Y/n."
"I know."
The fire was no more. Only red hot embers burning on the rocky gravel. And it made you think that perhaps it was symbolic that the fire was slowly diminishing as your conversation grew more gentle.
A few minutes of silence had passed before either of you spoke again. "Look at us, talking to each other, treating each other like human beings for once." You joked with a laugh in an effort to replace the depressing mood.
You actually heard Daryl chuckle even though he lowered his head in an attempt to hide it. His eyes glanced at you, your own cheeky smile dimpling your cheeks. If this is what having a personal connection with Daryl was, it was dangerous.
Why did it take so long?
Was what you wanted to scream at him.
I could've loved you if you'd just given me a chance.
"Maybe we have more in common than we ever allowed."
Daryl broke eye contact with you, staring down at the glowing embers, chewing on his bottom lip. And he did the only thing he ever learned how to do when he felt something. "Night Y/n."
You didn't know why you expected anything different.
"Goodnight Daryl."
Daryl took his vest off, rolling it up and using it as a makeshift pillow. He turned away from you, his back tauntling in your face.
You stayed up a little while after, too overwhelmed by thoughts to rest. Unbeknownst to you, Daryl could not rest either. In fact, he did not sleep that entire night, only allowing himself ten-minute naps here and there. The only sense of relaxation he felt was when he'd check over his shoulder and see you in blissful sleep. As if nothing and no one had ever touched you.
When Rick asked what'd happened, Daryl lied. Saying you'd been outrun by a hoard and had to crash somewhere safe for the night. The days continued on, and what happened that day was not spoken of again. But there had come an understanding that Daryl and you were indeed, more in-common than ever allowed.
Patrick approached Daryl and you at breakfast as you mapped the run for the next morning. "H-hi!" Patrick greeted sheepishly, giving a small wave to the table. Maggie and Glenn greeted him first. Then you, pulling your attention away from the map on the table to him; giving a polite smile and nod. "Hey Patrick, everything okay?" Rick asked from where he sat beside Daryl. "Yeah..." Patrick was nervous on his feet, awkwardly pushing his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. "I wanted to ask Daryl and Y/n if I could join them out there?"
There was suddenly a stiffness in the air. Glances were exchanged between the lot of you. "Patrick I-" Rick scratched his beard awkwardly, finding a response for the boy. Patricks's confidence plummeted. He had spent hours building up the courage to ask, only to be met with stiff glances.
"How old are you Patrick?" It was an odd question for you to ask but it did not come without reason. "Uhmm fifteen."
You rose from your seat making your way over to him as gently as your feet would allow. Come, you spoke gently reaching an arm out to him.
Patrick began to walk with you.
"I was younger than you when my father began to enroll me in fighting classes…a short time after my mother died.”
Pausing your words, you continued your stroll until you stopped just before hitting the grass. "He told me that you could never be too young to be prepared for what the world was to through at you...What does that mean to a little girl who only wanted to play with her Barbies?"
Patrick listened to you intentively, entranced by the way you spoke.
Looking out to the green gardens, you seemed lost in thought for a second. "I don't think your question is outrageous. I just don't think you're prepared." Patrick seemed to understand this answer more, nodding his head.
You knew the day would come when the prison folk grew tired of looking at the same walls and more curious about the world beyond. Especially the children. You'd seen the group of kids over by the fences, close enough to look at the walkers but far enough away for safety. It was often that they were scolded by the adults.
"I know I’m not a fighter. I’m not like you or Daryl or even Carl. But I just wanna…” Patrick paused, “be brave for once.”
You couldn't help but smile at the innocence of the boy.
"You can't go out there knowing nothing Patrick." He had finally begun to accept defeat but the long face and disappointed eyes tugged at your sympathy.
"I can teach you. Just as my father taught me." Patrick's eyes lit up with hope. "Th-thank you Y/n." He gleamed with excitement, reaching a hand out to shake yours. You were truly at a loss of words with no choice but to shake it in return.
You'd spent day after day out in the field with Patrick. You taught him how to block blows, how to hold and use daggers, and much more. He was skittish and shaky most days but he was trying. In place of your days with Patrick, you were skipping your usual days with Daryl. You truly hadn't thought he'd mind much. If anything, you assumed he'd be happy to finally have a break from you.
"I feel like this wouldn't hurt that bad." Patrick commented. Carl was punching the book Patrick held, having begun to invite himself to the practices. Thick index books were the closest thing you'd find to a punching bag. You chuckled, "It hurts more than you'd expect."
Daryl approached the three of you. You could hear his footsteps. You’d recognize them even in the dead of night. They were gentler than normal as if he wished to not disturb. "It hurts more if you have rings on." Patrick looked at you curiously, "Did you used to wear rings Y/n?" You nodded happily. "All the time.”
You turned to finally face Daryl. "Hey." You greeted, taking the last few steps to meet him. "Hi." Daryl looked about, chewing on his bottom lip. "You ain't been showing up for runs." It almost, almost, sounded as if this upset him. "I've been here," you motioned to the young boys, "You know that."
Daryl nodded.
Of course he knew. He saw you every day, always wanting to come over and join but never allowing himself to.
"You really serious 'bout all this?" Daryl nudged his head to Patrick and Carl. You let out a deep sigh. You asked yourself the same question. Was this serious? Did you really plan on taking a kid outside the gates? There was a chance this was all for nothing at all. But what you did know was that it kept your mind at peace and your days busy.
"I don't know. I thought we could at least take him down to the river. It's nice down there, it's not far, would get him outta here for a few hours."
The river.
"Alright."
"Alright."
You sat alone at dinner that night, needing quiet time after hanging out with teenage boys for the majority of your day. You poked about your rice and veggies, still working on the copy of Little Women. "Hey." Daryl greeted. The day was growing late, the sun beginning to disappear from beneath the trees; he'd presumably just gotten back.
"Hi." You looked from your page, secretly happy he was giving you an excuse to put it down. Daryl's eyes looked anywhere but your own. "I-uh...got something for ya." Daryl dug into his front pocket, grabbing the handful of metal. He placed the rings on the table, making their own clattering noise together as they fell.
You seemed bewildered at this. "What...uh." Daryl chewed nervously on his thumb. He'd searched through this town and the next to find them for you, rummaging through old antique stores and dusty jewelry boxes. Picking out the ones he thought you’d like; which could mean nothing at all. “You didn't have to."
"S'fine." You nodded, the smile finally creeping it’s way to your features. "Thank you, Daryl." You were flattered. Flattered to think that for once, he'd actually listened to you. "Do you wanna go get dinner and come sit?" You offered.
"Yeah, I'd like that."
A certain closeness was growing. The arguments slowly became banter. And the war of dominance diminished. You began to work together as partners, mapping runs and brainstorming improvements for the prison. Instead of using your skills against each other, you’d began to find the perfect balance between.
Daryl joined you most days with Patrick. He found that he had no desire to go beyond the gates unless you were in tow.
There were moments when sheer frustration retook hold of you. But never did it reach the lengths as before. It came with reason, with a pleading, instead of merely arguing of who was right and who was wrong.
You turned the rings on your fingers about as you walked to the dining area outside. Daryl was a ways away, smoking his morning cigarette. “Morning.” You greeted, crossing your arms and taking your spot beside him. “Morning.”
The end of summer was near, mornings were chillier than usual but days still hot from the sun. There was a curtain of peace over this particular morning. The smell of Daryl’s cigarette filled your nose along with the morning dew. His presence comforted you. “I think it was around this time last year when you guys picked me up.”
Daryl blew the smoke from his lips, “Yeah, biggest mistake ever.” He joked. This earned a laugh from you. Daryl watched the joy on your face; it scrunched your eyes and accentuated the apples of your cheeks. “Yeah, I bet.”
He couldn’t take his eyes from you and a heaviness weighed within his chest. Because he knew, just as you did, that it was not only friendship lingering. It was more.
“I think I’m gonna go out, make sure the path to the river is clear.” Daryl knew what this insinuated. “We’re taking him out today?” Daryl had begun to hope that all of your time with Patrick was nothing, that it was merely something to fill up the days. “It feels like a peaceful day…” You could hear the uncertainty in his voice. “Besides, Patrick’s not been feeling good, I doubt he’ll even want to go. It’s the effort that means something to him.”
Hmm, Daryl hummed. You nudged your elbow into him, “Keep an eye on him for me, okay?” Daryl hummed in response again. “D…” You nudged him again as if needing a more reassuring answer for your verbal contract. The nickname perked his ears and heated his cheeks. Looking to you, he nodded.
You gave him a thankful smile. “Be safe!” Daryl shouted to you as you began on your way.
Arriving back to the prison you could feel within your gut that something was wrong. The sympathetic eyes that Michonne greeted you with solidified this.
Daryl recognized your footsteps entering the cell block.
“What's happened?" Daryl rushed to stand in front of you, blocking your path. It was eerily silent. “Come on.” Daryl placed his hands on your shoulders trying to turn you away. You shoved his hands from you, slipping past him.
"Y/n.” Daryl could not stop you from continuing on. Your expression was stuck in a state of confusion and shock as your feet guided about the chaotic cell block. It smelled of metallic blood and bitterly sour. Almost as though you'd stuck your nose in a gaping infected wound. When you'd turned your head to glance into a cell, you saw him.
Patrick lay still on the ground, an arrow lodged in his skull. An airy gasp left you, clutching your hands to your chest. It was as if you couldn't take your eyes away. Your eyes still not yet communicating to your brain what you were looking at. But when it did, the only thing you could seem to focus on was the arrow. An arrow.
Daryl watched the realization settle on your features when you turned to him. For once, Daryl felt a sense of fear. And it only worsened when you began towards him.
It was as quick as a breath. You unsheathed the dagger on your hip and aimed it at him.
"Y/n no!"
Daryl caught your wrists, the blade mere inches from his right eye. Though he stopped the blade, your brute force did not stop him from being shoved into the closest wall.
"I told you to look out for him!" You yelled through your glassy eyes.
He had no words for you, pure guilt blocking any defense or insult.
"I had to." You scoffed at this, "I can't trust you to do anything."
"Y/n it's not his fault. It was an accident." Rick reasoned with you.
With his back pressed against the wall, he had fully submitted himself to your wrath. His guilt would let you kill him now if you'd like. His hands around your wrist did not hurt nor squeeze to withhold your strength, they began to merely rest there.
Your rapid breathing began to slow to deep inhales and exhales, ones that moved your entire chest. Your eyes remained steady on his, the world drowning out around you.
While his eyes showed remorse, yours burned with anger; eyebrows furrowed, hot tears slipping down your cheeks.
With one forceful shove, you ripped your arms from Daryl's grasp, his back bumping the cement wall. The dagger made a clattering noise to the floor, having been lost from your grasp in the process. You stood there for a moment looking to Daryl as if waiting for something.
"M'sorry."
His apology only seemed to anger you, your face once again turning hateful. You took a few steps back before making your exit.
When time came to take care of the ones lost, you helped dig their graves; in defiance of everyone telling you not to. Your hands covered in splinters from the blistering wood of the shovel’s handle. The once thriving and growing prison become melancholy, a heavy cloud of sorrow always above.
You and Daryl had not spoken for days. You'd ditched any planned runs that had been scheduled. But without fail, Daryl waited every morning for you, on the off chance you'd join him again. And when you never did, he kept an eye on you from afar.
You had become quiet and distant. He seemed to only find you chatting with Maggie or Glenn and on the off chance, Rick. You were on fence duty every day presumably taking out every bit of anger on those poor dead bastards.
You'd been out there day after day, nothing but water in your system, running off of pure spite and grief. You'd be out there till your adrenaline wore off and your body gave up on itself from exhaustion. If Daryl wasn't mistaken he had spotted you crying on some days; but that bloody pipe never left your hands.
You had begun to wake up earlier than Daryl, always managing to slip away from him just in time. You ignored him at every meal and walked by him as if he was a ghost.
Daryl couldn't deny the itch of missing you. He longed for you to look at him again, to smile at him and call him names. He began to even miss when you yelled at him, as cruel and loud as you could be.
Daryl couldn't continue on like this. You were torturing him.
He had awoken particularly early this day, ensuring he was in the kitchen long before you; knowing you never skipped your morning tea.
Exhaustion was all you could feel. Your body raged against your decisions every day. Your arms were sore, hands red and raw from gripping the damn pipe so hard. But you could not allow yourself to be around him. You couldn't stand to be trapped in those cells, indulged with pity.
Wrapping the strap of the fingerless gloves around your wrist, you wandered into the kitchen. Glancing up, you saw him, stopping your steps. The kitchen was dark on this early morning, the sun not yet fully risen.
Every thought Daryl had vanished from his mind. Every speech he'd rehearsed or apology left him in an instant. He hadn't known seeing you face to face, alone, would leave him so breathless. Daryl could see your exhaustion even in the dim light. Your usually neat braid had been done in haste, it was sloppy and hairs fell messily into your face. The constant emotional distress dragged on your features.
"I had to see ya."
You crossed your arms over your chest, closing yourself off from him. "So you just waited for me here." Your tone was venom to him. Daryl swallowed sharply, second-guessing his actions. "Ya get yer tea every mornin'." It would be flattering to think he'd memorized your everyday routine if it was any other time. But you couldn't find that now.
"Was gonna go out..."
He wasn't. Daryl would only go if you were in tow.
You scoffed at him. Had he truly gone through all this effort just to ask you to join him on a sleazy run?
Your attitude hurt Daryl more than he'd like to admit. "Just wanted to see if ya wanted to come with me?"
You knew why he actually was here. Scratching the skin on your arm nervously, you said, "No Daryl."
“Why the hell not?” Your mouth dropped agape. Astonished at his mere audacity. “Why not?” You repeated back. Daryl looked at you blankly. Should he apologize? Or should he begin his stubbornness rant about all the ways it wasn't his fault? You shook your head, "You're pathetic."
The fire was lit once again.
You'd insulted his ego and his efforts to meet you here. But most of all, you'd insulted any feelings he'd developed for you.
Daryl's face switched from hurt to a hateful glare in a second. You didn’t care to continue on with him, turning and disappearing into the hallway. Daryl’s anger took hold of him as he rushed after you. “M’pathetic?” He followed after you, stomping like a child.
You ignored him, continuing on, letting the door slam in his face when you exited outside. Daryl following suit in your path did not falter. Carol and Rick turned their attention to the commotion.
Daryl and you spewed insults at each other. You'd reached down in yourself, past the grief and guilt, and pulled any degrading thing you could manage to say to him. And he did the same. No words you said could possibly cut him as deeply as his actions cut you.
"I shoulda left ya out there!"
"Yeah I wish you fucking would've..." You took a step closer to him. "But you couldn't because you fucking needed me."
"I don't need you."
"You fucking need me." You repeated.
"Yeah? Then you need me!"
"I don't fucking need you! I never needed you."
Daryl lowered his tone, narrowing his eyes. He was mere inches from your face, your foreheads almost touching. “Ya didn't need me out there, hm?" He watched your furrowed eyebrows falter. Daryl knew he was crossing a line but couldn't find it in his heart to stop. "Where was yer daddy that day, yuh?"
Your glassy eyes looked up at him attempting to form your own degrading insult. "What? Say it, come on say it Y/n." He egged you on.
You only think about yourself, just like your father.
But you refrained, swallowing your words along with your tears. "Fuck you." Daryl watched you walk away, wiping at your face. "Fuck you!" Regret dreaded him. He watched as you continued on, your body shaking from a mixture of adrenaline and tears. He could have run after you then, apologies spewing from his mouth but his stubbornness kept him still.
The prison fell that same day.
Amid chaos and destruction, Daryl could only find himself to look for you. And when he finally accepted defeat, he could only pray that you'd made it out.
You had fled on your own. Fighting your way through to return to the comfort of the wilderness. After a few strenuous days on your own again, you'd found Carol and Tyreese; joining them with the girls. The blisters on your feet had returned as did the heaviness deep in your chest.
You thought about him more than you'd like to admit. And Carol did her part in reminding you of him on the daily. You'd begun to dwell on how you'd treated him in those final days. You’d denied yourself the comfort of his company. You urned for him to be gentle to you once again. To speak to you so deeply and sincerely as he had before. To comfort you amidst your grief. All the draining nights of crying yourself to dehydration, you desired for him to be there.
You’d never been hugged by Daryl but in your mind, his touch would’ve healed a thousand gaping wounds.
"I regret it deeply now." You'd say to Carol.
"I'm sure he feels the same." She'd respond.
A longing for your life to return as it was among those prison walls struck you down every hour of every day. The wish to go back to that morning and accept his offer. To take his hand and go beyond the walls. Maybe one more day together would’ve fixed everything. And you wouldn’t be left with the guilt of leaving things off on a bad note; never to see him again.
The smoke rose above the tree line, only making you more anxious. With Tyreese and Judith safely at the cabin, [or so you thought], you kept guard at the road. Keeping an eye for anyone making an escape.
Kill them if they weren’t one of us. Carol instructed.
But the sound of gunfire made you unsure of anyone’s survival. Fuck, you muttered to yourself out of frustration. You glanced constantly down the road and amongst the trees, hoping for a familiar face.
You turned your last surviving ring anxiously about your finger. A rustle in the woods grabbed your attention. You gripped your gun closely in your hands, stepping towards the tree line. When it was deemed clear, you continued on, your boots crunching on the leaves.
Your ears perked at a sudden snap of a twig. Whipping your body around, you pointed your gun.
Daryl aimed his bow to you, the tip of your weapons mere inches from the other. Your breath caught in your throat. His eyes were tired, his face bruised. But you couldn't say you looked any better.
Both your fingers lingered over your triggers, though neither of you would shoot. Daryl lowered his bow. Looking at you with teary eyes. You lowered your own weapon, looking to him with the same unsure gaze. There seemed to be a mutual understanding that neither of you had the energy to fight. Daryl wanted to reach out to you but the looming fear of rejection didn’t allow him. "Y/n?" Maggie snapped you from your daze. “Maggie?” You rushed to embrace her, discarding Daryl.
The weeks spent on the road proved to be difficult. Everyone grew more hopeless by the day and this hopelessness only grew when it became loss after loss. There was no time to heal from one loss before having to mourn another. First Bob, then Tyreese, and then Beth. You’d glued yourself to Maggie after Beth just as she did for you after Patrick.
Daryl mourned Beth in private. You wanted to be there for him, to provide him a shoulder to cry on. But he’d shut you out, just as you’d done to him. And besides, you never even tried, too focused on Maggie to consider it more than a thought.
You and Daryl had become strangers once again. There was no room for forgiveness, no time to spew apologies to each other, and no space to coddle each other through the pain.
Alexandria came to the suffering group, shining a new light of hope and a more secure future.
But this meant you could not hide from him anymore nor him you. The known could no longer be left unspoken.
You’d slipped away from the main house to the house next door that belonged to the group but was yet to be used. Daryl was first to notice your absence, asking where you’d gone so late. When he was told, the urge to follow after arose.
The front door was left unlocked, allowing Daryl entry. “Y/n?” The house was dimly lit, an amber glow looming from across the room. Daryl saw your figure sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. A liquor bottle sat atop the coffee table reading, Honey Whiskey, along with an empty glass seemingly for him. The other was in your hand, resting on your thigh. He couldn't help but think how perfectly you the liquor was; bitter yet soothing and sweet.
Daryl didn't know what told him to sit beside you but he did not resist the urge.
Nothing was said, the both of you staring off into the gas-lit flames. Your eyes studied the fake logs that were engulfed by flames, comparing it to how real wood burns. Daryl craved for you to speak to him. He didn't care if it was hurtful. Any words, cruel or no, were better than this silence. "Y/n..."
"I forgive you." Daryl went still. You hadn't given him time to breathe.
"What?"
Just then you turned, your freshly cleaned hair falling over your shoulder. The fire cast a glow on your features; highlighting the bridge of your nose and emoting a sparkle within your eyes.
“I said I forgive you.” It was the gentlest tone you’d ever spoken to him in, almost a whisper.
“I don’t think I had reason to be angry in the first place. I was just trying to blame someone that wasn’t myself.” You reached forward, popping the cap from the bottle and pouring Daryl a glass. You handed it to him, along with a slight smile. It tugged at his heart.
“M’sorry…bout what I said that day. 'Bout your Dad...Wasn’t right.” Daryl swirled the liquor about his glass, wondering where you’d found it. You took a deep breath before speaking on, “My daddy disowned me.”
The dog tags around your neck suddenly felt as though they weighed fifty pounds. It was a burden you carried around your neck every day, hoping the weight would be lifted lighter if you just spoke highly. "Why?" Daryl couldn't help but ask. You hesitated, your mouth gaping but no words following. "Because I loved a woman." You flashed Daryl an insecure smile, unsure of how he'd react. "I lost her about a month before you guys picked me up. That's why I was alone."
Daryl felt a whirlwind of emotions hit him at once.
How many times had he thrown your father in your face like some jealous brat?
“I think I resented ya a lot. Thinking ya had a father that rolled out the red carpet for you." Daryl had found his own courage in a now empty cup. You took note of this, pouring more for him. "I know, D."
"M'sorry."
"I know that too."
After that, a soft silence fills the room. The two of you sit peacefully, content with the weight slowly lifting from the shoulders of your friendship. But there was another topic to relive before you could truly sweep up all of the choked-off fragments and furnish them with conclusions.
“Patrick uh…”
“Ya don’t gotta talk about that Y/n.”
“No, I need to.”
The liquor wasn’t persuading you to talk nor to act a certain way, you’d barely drank any.
A deep sigh left you and you rested your back against the couch. “Patrick talked about his parents a lot. He said that his mom wanted him to be brave…That’s why he wanted to go out, he said that he felt like a coward. He’d always been safe in Woodbury then the prison.” Your words were quick and shaken.
Daryl listened attentively, taking sips of the whiskey in hopes it would calm his mind. “He thought that if he went out, even once, he would be brave… like us.” You motioned to you and Daryl. A smile rose on your face. “He also just really wanted to impress you, he was so excited when you started joining us in the mornings.” You took a sip from your own cup finding strength in the liquid.
“I know you always thought it was silly but…Patrick reminded me a lot of my cousin. He was my best friend until my aunt moved to a different state. I promised to keep in touch but I started college, got distracted, and only saw him on holidays.”
Your words trailed as if unsure of what was to be said.
“Until he jumped off a fucking overpass.” You could feel Daryl’s sympathetic eyes looking at you. “In his note, he said he knew he was a coward but he couldn’t be here anymore.” Your lip began to quiver but you quickly covered it with a swig of liquor. Daryl was left to think while you choked your tears down.
"They were brave." Daryl said in hopes it would relieve some of your guilt.
You placed your glass on the table beside the couch. "And dead they are." The tears could no longer be drowned in whiskey. You covered your face with your hands. Your body trembled violently, sobs racking your chest. Daryl put down his own glass. “C’mere…c’mere please.”
Daryl scooted closer to you, grasping for you to meet him halfway. You met him gladly.
You gripped your arms around him tighter, resting your head on his shoulder. A deep sigh of relief left both of you, melting into the other's embrace. “You’ve never hugged me before." You commented with sadness, your words mumbling against the fabric of his shirt; now wet with tears. "I know. M’sorry.” He could hold you all night if need be, to make up for all the nights he hadn’t.
He smelled of pine from the soap he'd used to wash. But the familiar scent of motor oil and cigarette smoke could never be washed from his skin. At first, it annoyed you. You'd complain that the oil gave you headaches and scold him about his unhealthy habit. But now, no four walls of any house could provide you the safety and comfort of Daryl's broad figure.
You pulled away from him but your hands did not leave him. They dragged down from his back to rest comfortably in his own. Your soft skin caressed his calloused hands. Your forehead rested against his. He did not remove himself from you but merely looked down, avoiding your gaze. "Ya been drinking a lot Y/n, ain't in the right mindset right now." You shook your head, "No Daryl...”
Your nose bumped his own as you scooped your head down, capturing his lips in yours. You taste of the bitterly sweet liquor, your lips still slightly damp from the tears that fell only moments ago. He resists before giving in to his longest desires. It made his nerves feel fuzzy. “I love you.” Your words mumbled against his lips.
The kiss turned from gentle to desirable in time, lips moving in sync together. His hands moved to either side of your face, ensuring to keep you close. You began to lay back, hoping Daryl would follow. He was quick too, ensuring his body weight did not crush you.
Needing a moment to breathe, you parted from him. Your back relaxed against the plush couch all your tense muscles turning to putty beneath him. Daryl's head fell to your chest. He felt your own heartbeat, just as quick as his own. "Love ya too."
Daryl's hands freely wondered you. He gripped your thighs, feeling the jagged scar on your thigh through the thin pajama pants; remembering the day you met. "I fell down a hill." Daryl stopped his lingering hands, "What?" There was a ting of a smile on your face. His eyes sparkled with admiration. "I was fighting a walker and I fell downhill. I think I got stabbed by a tree branch or my own knife, I never knew." You admitted shamefully. Daryl dropped his head to your chest again, chuckling.
His laughter sent vibrations through you, triggering a laugh of your own. You bring your hand to the back of his head, stroking his messy brown hair. “Why don’t you stay here with me tonight?” Daryl lifted his head, the fire dimly lighting the right side of his face. He nodded.
"I'd like that."
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In The Middle of the Night | Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader | Drabble 1k
Bucky takes a chance on staying the night at your apartment for the first time. But he wakes with the smell of blood in his nose and a feeling that everything has gone wrong.
Warnings: Nightmare, Bucky has PTSD, descriptions of blood, angst with a fluffy happy ending.
A/N: Maybe I woke up in the night convinced I was having a period so bad it rivals something from a horror movie. And naturally I wrote this to help me go back to sleep.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics and @saradika-graphics
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes
Hydra had come.
Bucky was half awake, his mind dragging itself back to consciousness with the sure knowledge that spending the night here at your apartment was a terrible idea. Hydra had been watching, they must have been, watching and waiting and now they had hurt you and he would be back in that chair within the hour. He had known it then, protested and put it off and he'd given in and now.
Now.
He could smell blood, it had an iron tang that always lingered in the back of his throat. This was your blood, he had smelt it once before when you had sliced your hand cutting pizza. He'd helped you clean and dress the wound. How could he forget anything about you?
But blood is blood, no matter if it was yours, and it finds its way into his nose and clings there. He could smell it even in his dreams and now, eyes closed but conscious, he can smell it in the room.
Bucky slid his left hand under his pillow, the right was still holding your close. If this was the end, if this was his final moments, he wanted to stretch it out for as long as possible.
You were still warm, so they were close, maybe he had time, maybe -
He sat up with a start, knife in hand and surveyed the room.
Empty, dark, light from between the curtains sliced the carpet it two, but there was no sign of anyone else.
Beside him you sprawled in the sheets, your back to him, but searching for the hand that had been clutched in your own. Movement. You're moving, your hand reaching for his and, not finding it, you roll forwards into your pillow and cuddle that instead.
If you're moving you can't be dead.
Bucky repeats it to himself. If she's moving she can't be dead.
But why is there still that smell. His dreams are vivid but this - it lingers.
He looked down at his hands, reluctant to give up the knife, and there it is smeared all over his right hand.
Your blood.
And his hands and his leg. God it's everywhere and he can't tell now what's real and what's the trick of the light, just a patch a shadow or a pool of blood?
Is this worse than Hydra? This feeling that he's hurt you? Which fear had he ranked at number one? And did it matter now that one of them had happened and he'd done the unthinkable?
Bucky moved backwards, quickly and quietly, he moved away, dropping the knife to the floor and sinking onto the hardwood, wrapping himself in his arms.
"Bucky -" your voice is sleep rough but sweet, shards of handmade toffee, grains of brown sugar at the bottom of his coffee cup, all that's good in his life and he had hurt you. "You okay, Buck?"
There's a rustle as you push back the sheets and then, "oh - shit."
Is that all you can say to the obvious pain he's caused, you're too good. Too good for him, too good for anyone really, who could compare to -
"Baby, why are you on the floor?" Now you're just confused, fully awake and moving in the room.
Your hands cup his cheeks and brush away tears he didn't even know he was shedding.
"Don't, please, I've hurt you, you're bleeding and I thought it was Hydra but it was me-"
"Oh," your laugh is just as wrinkled and sleepy as your voice, "you didn't hurt me Bucky, I - well I'm kinda embarrassed, haven't been caught out since school, but I got my period."
Bucky looks you over now, the flimsy night dress you'd worn to bed only just touches the tops of your thighs, it's white and the satin shines in the moonlight, but all he can see is the rose of blood on the hem, the sticky shimmer between your legs.
"My hands, I woke up and my hands were -"
"Remember how we fell asleep?" You coo and he nods shyly.
He does remember, he remembers kissing and sliding a leg between yours and then his hands and it had been so soft and slow. You'd fallen asleep tangled together.
Bucky's mind is racing but he knows one thing now with clarity, he needs to take care of you.
"Do you want me to run you a bath?" There's a frantic urgency to each movement that he makes, trying to stand and sliding on the floor instead.
You laugh again and kiss him, full and hard, on the mouth. It's easy and loving and there's no anger in it at all.
Because he hasn't hurt you.
"No, but thank you. I'm going to take a quick shower, get myself cleaned up and sorted. Then I'll change the sheets. Are you okay? I'm worried about you. Did you have a nightmare?"
Tears well again, he doesn't deserve this.
"You do."
"What?"
"You do deserve this, me, us and I deserve you. I love you, Bucky Barnes, every little bit of you, even the bits that you don't want me to see."
And you kiss his temple, your hands cupping his stubble rough cheeks.
"I love you too." He says with finality, "and I'll change the sheets for you, please go and get comfortable."
It doesn't take Bucky long to strip and change the bed. He soaks the bottom sheet in the sink the way his Ma showed him, and sets a cup of sweet tea and an iron tablet on the bedside table for after your shower.
Before he knows it he's spent his adrenaline on making you comfortable, his eye lids suddenly heavy as soon as you slip back in to bed.
The light clicks off but he doesn't remember doing it. He does remember wrapping his arms around you and tugging you close.
"I love you so much," he whispers into your hair, kissing the top of your head. He can feel your smile when you tip your chin up and kiss his jaw.
"I love you so much, too."
#Bucky#Bucky Barnes#Bucky Barnes x Reader#bucky barnes/reader#bucky x reader#Bucky/Reader#bucky barnes x you#Bucky x You#Bucky Barnes/You#bucky fluff#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes one shot#bucky x female reader#bucky fanfic#james bucky barnes#buckybarnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky x female yn#Bucky fluff#Bucky angst
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— " 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐢'𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧... "
art by @/kodokunoakashi on twitter, edited by me !! angst. an eensey weensey redemption at the end
xiao, zhongli, wanderer, neuvillette x gn!reader
[ centuries after their lover’s passing, they finally are able to rest in your ghostly touch. ₊˚ෆ ]
Perhaps the day he had found your lifeless body, eyes long fluttered closed and splatters of red decorating your throat was the day Xiao began falling apart.
He knew it from the start, that your death would be inevitable. You weren’t like him - a weary soul who had traversed these lands for thousands of years in search of a refuge that Teyvat had never provided for him. No, you were like the evening’s first star, brilliantly shining and setting the entire night sky ablaze. A warm glow that sparked flames wherever its light reached. He was one of many fortunate enough to be caught in your spiraling trap, those cursedly charming grins and a laugh with the innocence of a child. Your sweet warmth was addicting, and once he had a taste, he couldn’t get enough of it. Was that why the adeptus found himself leaving his corner of the inn more and more often, just to trail by your side? Maybe this was the reason he had found himself expressing something on his lips that he had never before?
Fragments split your face in his memory. Years, decades, centuries had passed. To the outside eye, all that could be observed was that the yaksha was particularly more elusive than before, only having briefly appeared once or twice before mortals. With ignorant and foggy minds, they’d declare that the Conqueror of Demons must feel despair over the sudden death of Rex Lapis, and they’d just leave it like that. An open question hanging in the air with no answer to pair it with.
Xiao didn’t know if he still had tears left to weep.
His brethren that he had lost so many years ago had robbed them with their passing, and they were nothing left but an empty remnant of once had remained. A shapeless echo… yes, perhaps that was what he was now. All that knew him were certain that your passing had stolen a part of him that would never recover. The fragments of emotion that you had left with him had only dissipated with time, and he despised himself for it. Shards that danced in his vision as he hefted his spear, whirling it with precision and slaughtering all in its path. They had dared lay hands on you. They had taken whatever resolve he had left. Now, he was but a shell, hollow without your embrace.
It’s cold.
Sometimes, he heard your laugh on the wind, and he’d whip around, expecting to see you there, but only to be met with the terrible, terrible silence, and all the adeptus could do was laugh bitterly. Crystalline drops of tears would threaten to roll past the barriers of his carefully crafted facade, and he’d curse at himself, grasping at his chest with heavy breaths and blown eyes.
He didn’t deserve to cry. No, not after he had failed to protect you. Guilt, self-loathing, karma, all of it… it bound him down with red tendrils that burned against his skin. Pain bloomed throughout his body, a brilliant crimson that stained his clothing, an anguish that he ardently welcomed. His vision dimmed, and his honey eyes which had long since lost their light slowly shut, embracing the darkness that reached for him.
Darkness, so how come when he opened his drowsy lids, all he saw was light?
“Xiao?”
A familiar voice, one that had blurred with time, yet now rang clearly in his senses. Those excitement-filled eyes, that mischievous curve on your lips, and the warmth of your fingers with his. The grass prickled at his back, and the scent of blooming wildflowers filled the air with its spring sweetness.
A smile tugged at his lips. His sorrow spilled from his eyes. He almost could’ve laughed at your concerned gaze, and with a bandaged heart he pulled you closer in his arms. His wounded voice was barely a whisper. “Thank you… for waiting for me all this time, love.”
He still remembers it. It’s a sight that’s been burned into his eyes. The way his composed expression had collapsed, how his disgraced self had fallen to his raw knees. Zhongli had held you then, feeling the precious warmth leave your body, listening to the thrum of your heart slowly ebbing away.
He had been seconds too late to hear what you had spoken in that moment, and only saw the wordless utter on your moving lips, the raspy, labored breaths, until they ceased to nothing but silence. How could something void of sound be so unequivocally loud? The silence rings in his ears, like a horrible testament of his broken contract. That bright moment the two of you had shared seemed centuries ago, an abstract painting of something that couldn’t have possibly occurred. With a beaming face, you had held his larger, gloved hand with two of your smaller ones, grinning at his touch.
“Let’s always be together, okay? No one can keep us apart!” You laughed to yourself at how red the man had grown at your words, and then stared fondly at the silver band he had placed on your finger a day prior, when he had kissed your hands and uttered his words of confession. Red dusted your cheeks at the thought, and to the wide-eyed man, you looked simply ethereal, with the way your lashes fluttered with every blink and the way your cheeks were warm with a smile.
“Yes.” Zhongli had been starstruck by you, so utterly breathless at how speechless a mere mortal could make him. It was astounding, how your smile seemed to steal his words away. He wanted to do nothing but to freeze those seconds, to place them in a glass and cherish them and relive them in a loop that lasted eternity.
Oh, what’d he do to see the way your lips curved upwards into a cheeky grin that you’d display just for him, the snarky comments leaving your mouth, and the way you laughed at his subtle reactions.
It’s only been two hundred years. Should he say “already?” Time passes slow, then fast, fluctuating without any thought of the man in mind. At times, when the clock strikes midnight and moonlight spills into the courtyard like liquid silver, the seconds slow into minutes and the minutes slow into hours, and he’ll gaze out onto the grassy fields where the two of you used to stroll hand-in-hand, and he’ll allow himself a moment of reminiscence. In other times, the world speeds up around him, and the incompetent man is unable to keep up. Your funeral was one of those times. How could he simply walk away from your framed portrait and declare, “that’s that?” Liyue had suffered a terrible loss, yet only he seemed to register that. How come?
Some days, he’ll talk to himself, as if you’re beside him. His words meet empty air and he smiles vacantly, holding a hand that isn’t there and kissing the lips of someone who is long gone. Your shadow is everywhere. He can’t escape it, but that’s okay. He doesn’t want to. Zhongli allows those remnants of you to linger and dance in the wind with the reddening leaves. By the bridge, excitedly petting the stray dogs, calling each and every one of them the name that you’ve bestowed upon them. A sight Ganyu would have loved to see. Or in the branches of a particular tree, laughing down at him with a giggle like birdsong, taunting words. “Would you look at that? Up here, I’m even taller than you, Zhongli!”
And every time he hears your transparent, faded voice, he can’t help but smile, despite how hopeless he feels. You’re gone, and that’s the truth, so where’s the harm in bathing in your afterimage just a moment longer?
He knows it isn’t you. It can’t ever come close. As centuries blur and whirl past, and he finds himself departing to the more secluded spaces of Liyue’s wilderness, he decides it’s time. His nation no longer needs him. The reason he had for living is gone, and the heart that had once been so lively has dulled.
Would it be too foolish to hope that when he opens his eyes, you’ll be there, waiting for him?
“Xiansheng? Come on, come on sleepyhead, wake up already!” Pause. “Oh, will this do the trick?”
And then there’s warmth on his cheek, the feeling of your lips against his skin, and he feels alive, for the first time in those archon-forsaken years. He knows what he’ll see, when he opens his gilded eyes that are shimmering with dew. “Yes, love. I’m here.”
Betrayal. Those sickening words you had spoken to him, sweet beyond belief… Wanderer hissed through his teeth, holding his hands over his ears as his tears fell to the earth and soaked into the dark earth.
Yes, at that time he should’ve known. The truth you spoke to him was simply too good to be true - a fantasy that could never be attained. Yet he had been swayed by your smile and fell for your warmth, and since then had been willingly trapped in a void that was you, with no intention of escaping. It amazed him, almost, how he can smile in this moment, albeit however sour it is. What more proof did he need? To be unable to stay somber in the moments of your passing, did that not just prove how flawed he was? How undeserving?
He detested it. No wonder why you had left this world. It was a pain to even be by his side. Words without “love” and a chest that did not thrum with flusteredness could never convince you to stay beside him. Once again, someone he yearns for has cleverly slipped through his fingers. From the beginning, he was a sinner. A worthless puppet incapable of feeling a shred of what you held for him.
Red dripped from his fingers as they clawed at the earth, as he bends into himself with ugly wails. Could you see him now, wherever you were? Tears flowed freely from his eyes, not heeding his mutters for all of it to cease. He wanted it to end, all of it, the suffering that he felt and the emptiness he could never fully elude. The fatui, his mother, they’d all laugh at him with pointed fingers if they saw him now, wouldn’t they? His flushed cheeks are stained with salt and his throat was raw from his shouts. The blood pooling around your body has already cooled, and your fingers that were intertwined with his had already grown cold to the touch.
“Woah, Wanderer, your skin is really cold! Aren’t you hot at all? It’s summer!” You had stared at him with a childlike fascination, holding his hand in yours, poking it for extra effect, only growing more astonished.
“It’s nothing to be impressed over.” He cleared his throat into his fist, yet did not let go of your hold. “If anything…” At the time, his words had not completed themselves, yet his gaze had trailed to your own hands, and he had kissed the back of them with a cheeky half-smile. I like yours. They’re warm. There had been an inkling of naive hope, that your life could fill the void in his, and perhaps that was what allowed his plastic expression towards you to grow into true ones.
“H-Hey, c’mon…” His voice broke, unsteady like the legs of a newborn fawn. He took your blood-stained hand and pressed it to his cheek, only further wetting it with his tears. “This isn’t funny, you know, you can… you can stop now…”
Look how broken he’s become, stooping as low as to speak to a corpse.
That was only a decade ago. Every morning, the ache of its recollection brings a fresh dose of misery. Every evening he lulls himself to sleep by repeating the words you once said, imagining the stroke of your hands tangled in his hair, imagining your sunbeam-like smile as you gazed down at him fondly.
Really, what’s the point of living with you gone? Could he really call it “life?”
Those questions still remain sharp in his mind as he sputters out a cough, glancing down at the blade in his shattered chest, positioned right where his heart should have been. Cold, unforgiving steel, driving down and tearing apart. Wanderer blinks up at the cursed heavens above and heaves out blood that leaves a lingering red on his lips, and he can’t bring himself to cry anymore. He spits out a final damnation at Celestia before slipping away, eyes closing as he finally-
“Wanderer? Where’s your hat? You aren’t wearing it today?”
Your voice. It breathes life into his empty soul. Warmth. He wants to hold it, hold you, ever closer like he never had the courage to. His violet eyes spring open as he sits up with a start, his disheveled garments flinging about. “Y-You-!”
“What’s with you today? You’re acting strange, silly. Did you eat something you shouldn’t have?” You grin stupidly, an idiocy he finds all so lovable. The twinkle in your eye - you’re alive. You’re breathing and you’re existing before him. A final grace that he can’t thank whatever for enough.
There’s the sound of wind, and then you find yourself tightly wrapped in his embrace, your shoulder stained with his tears that spill despite how much he doesn’t want to show you this weakness. He buries his face into you, and you can feel the ghost of a smile against your skin. “I’ve missed you. So, so much. Please, please, don’t leave me again.”
Lifeless, your body lay, along the shores and lapped by waves stained crimson. That day, Fontaine realized what it was like to truly rain, not a few drops, or even spring showers. Water fell endlessly from the skies, a downpour that may never end, an all-swallowing sea from the heavens that swallowed all unfortunate enough to be caught in its path. Irony clouded the skies, and Neuvillette found himself broken into pieces he didn’t know how to put back together.
His efforts to understand the human population were in vain. A complete, utter failure. How could he possibly judge, knowing the world despised him? Knowing that the scales were upturned and that nothing could ever be just? Your death, it was unfair. Unfair to the world and unfair to he who held you ever so dear. But what else could he do but continue his oversight? Quitting his position wouldn’t bring you back. Nothing would. He could hear your cheery voice in his ear, and the hint of a pout, a chiding tone. “Neuvi, you can’t quit! Let’s all try our best, okay?”
The days where you were by his side were the happiest. Fontaine had become akin to Sumeru’s desert, the sun blazing overhead and the moon shining brightly at night. Yet, how come the people of Fontaine had seemed upset at the skies for his contentment? They begged for rain, begged for their dying crops, to the point where you were forced to distance yourself from the man for days at a time, just the unrelentless sun would cloud over and perhaps a drop or two of rain would be squeezed from the heavens.
If he had known you would leave so soon, he would have never permitted you to depart from his side. If he had known you would pass this world and traverse to the next, he would have held you with every ounce of his soul, he would have declared his love for you over and over, he would have placed the ring he had been saving in his pocket, the one he slipped on his finger whenever he was at a particularly difficult trial.
So many “what if’s.” None of them would materialize. Once again, his efforts would fall short. Once again, he’d lose someone.
The tea was hot. It burned his tongue, yet he couldn’t feel a thing. You, the clearest of springs and purest of waters, had set his own sea into a never-ending storm. Lightning struck and its own surface churned choppily with enough rage to devour a nation. The second tea cup that was on the other side of his office desk remained untouched, the contents slowly cooling into nothingness. A something that could never be.
“Hydro dragon, hydro dragon, don’t cry~” He could hear it when he shut his eyes for what he hoped to be the final time, your voice from the mist that shrouded his mind, and he wanted nothing more than to embrace the owner of it. How could he possibly heed your words, when he felt his tears slip past his eyes, flowing as unperturbed as a river? Your back is facing him, but you know he’s there. You glance back with a fond beam, extending your arms outwards. An invitation. One that he’d readily take, any time, every time.
He would never enable you to slip from his grasp again. He allows you to engulf him in your arms, he allows you to stroke your thumb on his face and wipe away his salty tears, he allows you to brush his hair behind his ear and press butterfly kisses into his closed eyelids. Your warmth floods his body, and with a smile he takes the ring he’s saved for you out of his pocket, and fulfills his regrets as he slips it onto your finger, a final tear rolling down his cheek. “There’ll be no more reason to cry, not anymore.”
(a/n) this further proved to me that writing angst is so fucking mind destroying but at the same time provides this sort of quiet sorrow that you aren't able to attain anywhere else and for some twisted reason this is literally one of my favorite things ive like. ever written. holy shiiiii
໒꒱ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open! send an ask or a comment ♡) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife
#★ ˎˊ˗ mondaymelon#astronetwrk#favoniuslibrary#x reader#genshin fanfic#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin x you#genshin x reader#genshin angst#xiao x reader#genshin xiao#xiao x you#xiao genshin x reader#zhongli x reader#zhongli genshin impact#genshin zhongli#zhongli#wanderer x reader#wanderer#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x you#scaramouche#neuvillette#neuvillete x reader#genshin oneshots#genshin headcanons#zhongli x you#scara x reader
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Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.
It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).
It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.
(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).
It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).
It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.
It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.
It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.
She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)
It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.
It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.
Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.
On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)
#txt#pjsk#project sekai#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#ena5#ena shinonome#shinonome ena#25 ji nightcord de#niigo#n25#mizuena#i'll tag it for the shippers too bc why not they'll enjoy this#closing my eyes and hitting post because on one hand i want to keep editing this because it's a mess but if i spend another minute on this#I Will explode#physically i have moved on mentally i am still staring at that damn card on my monitor while the music swells and mizuki is wailing out#that damn image has like actually rearranged my brain chemistry it's not even funny#i'm so fucking weak for this specific character dynamic/relationship yeah it might be cliche yeah i'm lame whatever#but like. FUCKKKK THEY DID IT SO WELL. THIS IS ACTUALLY INSANE. they put so much care into mizuki as a character it's crazy#oh mizuki. i hope you find peace and happiness.#i hope you look around you and the people you've surrounded yourself with one day and realize that you've found safety#anyways yeah sorry this is incomprehensible nonsense also sorry if the pronouns were confusing i hc she/they for mizuki#y'know partway through writing this i half considered turning this around into a fic but like. nahhhhh. tumblr text word vomit it is#sorry about the *checks* 1.4K word text ramble. but thanks for reading if you got here B))
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broken glass
simon riley doubts his worthiness of having you | hurt/comfort(?)
sorry i was gone for so long. i haven’t felt motivated in a while. this is just an attempt to get back into writing. i’ve been working on various projects, abandoning them halfway through. was relatively proud of this, so i’ve decided to post it.
mentions of abuse. insecurities. i don’t know, tell me if i missed any.
He was born into a home of broken glass, every argument a shard, every silence a fracture.
Simon Riley had been born into chaos. His earliest memories were of screams that echoed through the halls of a crumbling home, the heavy thuds of fists against thin walls, the sound of a door slamming as his mother stumbled from the house, her face bruised and hollow. His father, always drunk, was a constant presence—a shadow, a monster—who only softened when his fists fell silent, usually in a moment of fleeting remorse, or more likely, when his anger was spent.
He was a man who was shattered like thin glass, a splinter that made you bleed and quickly pull your hand away like there was fire. He drew blood, his hands rough and calloused, a man too harsh to be loved. War was all he had, and all he’d known, even if he wanted to know better. He had so many questions, and yet he choked on the words as he tried to ask, instead opting to drown deeply in the cacophony of screams. He searched for peace, a man who’d never experienced such, echoes of gunshots ringing in his ears and never offering any silence. He was engineered by a system to survive, to endure, but never to heal.
Simon didn’t sleep anymore, or, if he did, it was never rest.
His whole life had been dedicated to violence, actively seeking it as much as he avoided it. He felt stained with the blood he drew, scars along his back only indicating the pain he endured rather than that which he caused. Simon was a man who was supposed to be dead, and yet, the cruel God which seemed to have cursed him refused to let such a thing occur. His soul cracked in ways he couldn't articulate, his body a crumpled map of all he'd been through. He’d gone through existence without ever living.
He sought for warmth and comfort, even though he knew he could never be worthy of such a thing. He was a man who stained the snow-lands a deep scarlet. He was a wreck of a man who broke everything with his touch, strangling flowers in his grasp.
Perhaps that was why he fell so hard for you. You were like a beacon of light, granting him some solace. Giving him sympathies which he didn’t deserve, yet he yearned for. His head rested on your chest as he listened to your heart beat, assuring him that you were real and you were here. Whispered confessions of love still left doubt in his twisted mind, convinced you’d find someone better than him. He was convinced you might leave, holding on tightly to you and treating you as best as a man like him knew how to.
He’d never had a proper role model for love, most of the things he knew having been learned from books he’d stumbled upon or movies he’d watched. He was a man with a wicked father, and no matter the care of his mother, that evilness he believed was deep inside him could never be cancelled out. Love was a foreign language to him.
After all, there was no escaping the ghosts that haunted him, for he was one himself.
And yet you made him believe it might be possible.
His harsh voice would whisper your name like a secret prayer, his hand with its scarred knuckles gripping your gentle hand tightly. Perhaps he was finally starting to believe you might not go anywhere.
One night, in the capture of the moonlight which snuck through the cracks of the pulled curtains, Simon asked, slightly more loudly than he intended to, “why do you love me?”
Fingers that were previously toying with his slowed to a stop, and you adjusted yourself to stare at him. “What do you mean?” you replied. Your brows were furrowed, confusion evident on your face, and yet Simon could swear you looked like a deity. A blessing, was what you were to him. Someone who managed to let him know that maybe he wasn’t as ill as he’d convinced himself he was, a carefully-crafted facade having broken down more as the months turned into years.
He sat up, not sure how to word it. He was a man of few of those, after all. He plainly answered, “exactly what I asked,” slightly shrugging.
You bit your lip, seemingly thinking for a moment. It felt like a stupid question. Why did anyone love anyone, after all? Why did he love you, you could even ask. You swallowed, deciding to softly say, “because you’re worth loving.”
And perhaps he might one day start to believe he is, especially of the love of yours. The moments of bared insecurity were rare, occurring in only the latest times of night, the moon the only other witness of the confessions. They were caused by exhaustion, barely recalled when the sun rose. Yet, each night it happened, as he let himself sometimes cry in your arms after a nightmare, or letting drops of pain drip out of his soul, he was slowly starting to believe your honesty when you said you would not leave.
When you said that you love him.
He was a man with a shattered ego which he’d tried to tape back together flimsily, yet you made new parts of him which were whole. Certain parts could never be filled, but as long as you were in his arms, the pains of his soul may slowly fade away into nothing but background noise, lullabies of your words drowning them out as delicate fingers ran themselves over his scarred and tortured body.
A hand rough from holding knives and guns could tend for flowers as well, he was slowly starting to learn.
#SᗩTEᒪᒪITE#cod x reader#ghost cod#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#call of duty x reader#ghost call of duty#simon riley x reader
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Mission Control 3
Warnings: non/dubcon, violence, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Captain Hydra
Summary: a man marches into your life on a mission
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Your apartment is dark. You usually leave a light on but today, everything is off. That’s an understatement.
You lock the door then check twice before you get your shoes off to make sure you really did. You put your knapsack on the stool next to the mat. The air stirs coolly and you shiver as you unzip your jacket and face the apartment.
The entryway light leaks into the front room and limns over the side of the couch. You wade through the dark and flick on the lamp. Another ripple of wind flows around you. You leave your jacket on, half undone and cross the room as you stare.
The window is broken. You stop and look down at the shards of glass across the floor. You glance back up at the frame, only a few pieces left in it. You don’t know if it makes you feel better that there’s no way that man would fit through there. Not really, that only means it could have been someone else.
You take out your phone and dial out to your landlord. As you wait for the line to pick up, you turn on every light in your tiny apartment. You check the single closet and the shower stall and anywhere someone might hide. At least you’re all alone.
Shit, you’re all alone.
You cross an arm over your chest as the voicemail greeting rolls over and beeps.
“Hey, Colin, yeah it’s apartment 1C. The window’s broken. Got home from work and... guess I’ll cover it up for tonight. Please call me back in the morning.” You hang up. What else can you do?
You stare at the window. You don’t have anything really to cover it with. You keep your phone close and search for anything. The cardboard won’t keep anyone out but once sealed with a garbage bag it will at least block the wind.
You finish taping up the edges and sigh. You sweep up the stray glass and toss it in a spare box.
You’re shaking again. It’s too much of a coincidence. You know deep down that it can’t be. Yet, what good does that do you? If it’s not just a string of bad luck, then that means he knows where you live.
You leave the lamp beside the couch on and turn off the rest of the lights. You hang your jacket then undress in the bedroom. You put on a striped sleep shirt and grab your pillow and blanket. You cast some mindless reality show to the television to fill the silence.
You go to the bathroom to wash your face and go through your basic nighttime routine. You pause to look at your scalp in the mirror. You use a hand mirror to see it better. Ouch. You’re not too sure if you can do anything but hope that it grows back.
You retreat to the couch and hunker down. The light will keep you safe. You hope.
You can’t close your eyes. Your heart won’t stop thumping. You fidget and wriggle around on the couch. Your lashes droop and you feel yourself drifting.
You give a start and sit up with a gasp as a loud bang cuts through your exhaustion. You grasp at your chest as you look around. Your television is on the floor, screen down, and a gust puffs through the open window.
You look over at the cardboard and plastic as it hangs from the tap, shorn through. You shudder and hug the blanket around you as you stand. Shit. Was he in here? How... the window is too small--
You turn slowly and face the door. You locked it. You know you did. You double, triple-checked. You flip on the entryway light as you near the door. It’s not closed all the way. The door sits against but not in the frame. The latch is turned back and the chain is snapped.
You push it shut and twist the latch. You stifle a sob and make yourself look through the peephole. It’s black. Something’s blocking it from the other side.
You recoil and race into the kitchen. You grab the broom from where you left it leaning against the counter and go to the window. You aim the handle out the window and try to see out into the dark.
“Go away!” You scream into the void. “Leave me alone!”
Your voice echoes and evaporates into the city. You gulp and stare out. Waiting. Nothing.
What do you do?
It’s futile but your tape the window up again. With the cardboard torn through, it hardly makes a difference but you try. You think of calling the police. Maybe you should but the officer’s nonchalance deters you from the trouble.
You lift your TV. It’s cracked. Broken. Half of it is black and the other half is a spectrum of colours. You put it back on the stand and unplug it.
You pull the blanket tighter as you start another investigation around the apartment. The bathroom is untouched; the shower empty. The bedroom looks much the same but as you turn to the door, you notice the open drawer.
You shut it without looking inside. You don’t want to think about that. You doubt he was looking for socks...
Back in the living room, you sit on the couch, folding yourself up in the corner. You cling to your phone and hug your knees. You rest your chin on top and stare at the wall. Waiting. Dreading.
He’s not going to stop. He’s toying with you. It’s clear that he could just walk right in and do what he wants. And when he decides to do just that, you’re not sure you’ll be able to do anything.
#captain hydra#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#mission control#drabble#series#mcu#marvel#au#avengers
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DAN HENG: TELLTALE HEART.
☾₊ ⊹ TAGS: sfw, fake dating, friends to lovers, mentions and descriptions of blood, death/burial, and war, this could really just be its own fully blown fic idk what im doing here, this is definitely the start of ~something~ i just dont know what
wc: 2.2k
Dan Heng should have retaliated harder when Himeko had suggested this idea in the first place, but he made his stance very clear: he wasn’t cut out for this type of mission and it would likely end badly. But Himeko had only giggled from behind her teacup as she lifted it to her lips, the passing star systems twinkling mischievously behind her like the glimmer in her eye.
“Loosen up a little, Dan Heng,” she almost seemed to sing. “It would do you some good.”
“Surely you and Welt—“ But Himeko cut him off with an almost motherly tut. Dan Heng raked his mind for alternatives, but he worked with the data bank long enough to know this much: the Queen of this planet, a devotee of the fallen Idrila, had lived for a long, long time and had developed an almost perverse interest in the love affairs of humans to pass the eons. After all, what more ridiculous premise in the face of the endless onslaught of time and her immortality than some false promise of ‘forever’? Yes, human love was dramatic - and amusingly pointless. And the Queen revelled in it. Relished in it. Once upon a time the search for Beautiful Love was her devotion to her Aeon, a gift bestowed to her by Idrila themselves: to sustain herself with the heartbeats of her planet's people. For every heartbeat on the planet to resonate through her. The Beautiful Love, then, was something she too would know when she found it. But with the death of her God her mission was but an aimless pastime.
So Himeko and Welt, like two scheming parents, sent you and Dan Heng down to win her graces and grant you two access to the elusive secrets of her court. The goal was simple: put on a show. And make it good.
The two of you had been travelling alongside one another on the Express for a while, but as far as you both were concerned, nothing that would help this mission at all existed between you two. To be sure, you were friends, but that was about all there was to it. If anything, there was an almost brotherly feeling you got from Dan Heng, like a sibling eternally fussing over you or irritated by you or exasperated by you or all of the above all at once. You joined the Express crew before March. Dan Heng had already been there, and so you were his first companion closer to his age.
・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・
When you joined the Express they picked you up from a war-torn planet, one of the only survivors and cowering in a corner of a ruin. Dan Heng remembers a fear in your wild eyes unlike anything he could comprehend. When you lifted your head you looked like prey meeting the eyes of the hunter, and you were ready to run. He remembers your hair matted in blood — whether your own or somebody else’s he couldn’t say, nor did he want to ask. He found you huddled with your knees to your chest. He remembers the way you feebly sprang from under the crumbling brick pile you called a ‘shelter’ and swung a glass shard at him like your life depended on it — perhaps in another situation it really did. Fresh blood poured down from your palm as the shard dug into your skin, your fist closing tighter and tighter around it, but you were running on pure adrenaline and fear. He ducked effortlessly as you cried out, either in fear or to muster the last of the strength left in your malnourished body. He grabbed your wrist, so brittle and weathered away by Gods-know-how-long you’d been on your own he almost feared he broke it. He could feel your hammering pulse in your wrist.
“Hey, hey,” he said, softer than anything he’d said before in his life. “You’re okay.”
Those eyes - gray like storming clouds, gray like the sky before it opened up to rain down fresh water, falling from the sky like liquid nectar from the gods, your mouth opening to drink what little you could gather. You didn't even realize you had been caught in a trance until he spoke again.
"Are you alone?"
If this stranger was your only hope you would take your chances. Before you could even open your mouth, the next thing you did was crumple to the ground and you fell with a soft thud. What you remembered after that was waking up on the Express, and those steely gray eyes you put your trust in peering at you over the infirmary bed, the infirmary lights so bright you took a moment to adjust.
"Do you remember your name?" he asked. You tried to form the syllables on your tongue but they only sat there, heavy and unmoving. A reminder of an identity that hurt too much to remember. Your mother calling you downstairs for breakfast. The children waving cheerily to you on the streets on your way out for the day. The old shopkeeper down the street in the evenings sneaking you a free sweet through the window to reward you for a long day's work. My name... You swallowed and shook your head. From across the room Welt smiled softly in encouragement more so than amusement.
"That works just fine. Namelessness is quite on-brand for us anyway."
You turn to look at your reflection in the medical equipment to your side. What you were greeted with was your entire face wrapped in bandages, wound over your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your chin, something like the burial rituals performed on corpses back home. The sight horrified you as you reached up to try to claw the bandages off. Dan Heng reached for your wrist again.
"Don't. It'll only make it worse."
He pitied you. He really did. To be taken from such extreme circumstances and slowly coming to your senses like this, you were like a caged animal cowering back against a corner. Like each time he drew near you would hiss and retreat or snap back at him.
There was no use trying not to cry. This young man had already seen you at your worst. You hung your head low as he held your wrist and wept and wept and wept.
・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・
The Express gave you a purpose, and Gods knew you needed one. You joined without a second thought, and it took months for you to regain some semblance of normalcy. You slowly crawled out of your shell. Pom Pom was too strange for you to get used to. Welt and Himeko, as nurturing as they were, were always a bit too keen to converse for your comfort.
Dan Heng was different. He let you sit in the same room as him without a need to talk. Your afternoons were spent in mutual but comfortable silence. The clicking of keys. Tapping of tablets. The occasional shuffling as he rolls his chair across the room to reach for a book. On days like these you huddled in a corner on a cushion, knees to your chest and a book in your lap. The next morning there would be a new book or two on your stack you didn't recognize from the evening before - a silent recommendation left behind by Dan Heng after noticing the books you seemed to take a liking to. Neither of you acknowledged this, only keeping to your routine.
When you lifted your head as he pulled something up on a data bank screen he always noticed and promptly explained what it was before ducking his head back down. Some rare plant species. Photographs of a temple on a faraway planet. He filled your head with knowledge of the cosmos, and it was amazing to you how boundless the universe really was, imagining that all this was just beyond you during those days on your home planet. He would be lying if he said he didn't find the little shine in your eyes endearing when you listened to him, and he appreciated finally having someone to talk to.
Considering all the records burned with your home planet, there was little Dan Heng knew about you. That was their business on your planet, really: to retrieve some lost records and fill in some blanks, but all they were able to recover was you. Welt and Himeko encouraged him to talk to you as a means to perhaps procure something productive. That was his work after all: collect, transcribe, record. It had always been a routine to him before, but with you it was something different. Watching you, Dan Heng saw the life and death of your planet in your every breath, your every sleep and wake. With your room beside his, he would hear how you cried in your sleep on occasion, tossing and turning and groaning names you wouldn't recall when you woke again. On occasion he pressed his ear to his wall, wondering if he should at the very least knock on your door. By the time he worked up the energy and the resolve, your nightmares grew less frequent.
This much he salvaged from your dazed mumblings: your homeland fell, and when it burned it blazed. And while it did, the Aeons watched it flicker away like another star among billions. You listened to his stories. You used them to replace all that you left behind you. Quiet nodding turned into soft “what’s that?”s, which turned into sneaking a snack in the corner, which turned into the two of you tussling as he tried to shove you out of the room (“Crumbs! They'll get all over the books!” he huffed. “No!” you protested, kicking and yelping until Himeko arrived to put a stop to it), which turned into you stepping into full-on mischief, some ghost of what you had before everything changed. March’s arrival didn’t help much, and soon Dan Heng took it upon himself to wrangle the two youngest (?) members of the Express crew. In a sort of way you two grew up together. In that sort of way, Dan Heng was fond of you.
・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・
So when invited before the Queen you two bowed and you let Dan Heng do the talking, spinning the tale as effortlessly as he spun the stories of the cosmos for you: two outlanders, both faring from different planets, seeking temporary transit as they fared among the stars in search of their pasts together. This much was true. This much was enough to pique her interest. In her territory she could feel the thrumming of your heartbeats, and in her romanticism failed to detect that it was the thrill of deception - and not of some budding romance - that explained your quickening pulses. And you two knew each other just well enough to sell it the right way - you just had to keep it up for long enough.
You two knew each other just well enough that on your first day wandering alone in the local village you scouted the area for libraries, reliquaries and ruins. It wasn't until sundown, when you returned with a map marked out with all the locations to hand to him, that you realized you hadn't even considered what you might want to do yourself.
You two knew each other just well enough that when he returned from said libraries as per your recommendation he returned with a novel by an author you liked - an edition they hadn't yet bought for the Express.
And you two knew each other well enough that later that evening he knew exactly what was happening when he woke to hear you crying in your sleep. What you dreamed of, he didn’t know. But he could piece together enough of an idea.
“Hey,” he whispers, slowly sitting up from his mattress on the floor. “Hey…”
With the window curtain open and the moonlight on your face he could see your brows knitting together, the line of your lips curling into a pained expression as you twitched and groaned. For a moment he felt a little awkward, unsure of what to do with his hands, before he got up and walked to his bag. He knew when you had nightmares you wandered the Express train. And he knew when the main cabin was empty you put a particular record on the record player. He tinkered with his earpiece for a moment and inserted them into your ears. Your lips softened into a relaxed smile. He let out a breath and slumped on the floor against the bed frame.
The intention, romantic or platonic, mattered little. What mattered was the quickening and softening of your heartbeats were felt and duly noted, and the Queen invited you two to her ball, your shot at passage to her court. You had been surprised when the invitation came so suddenly. You held the card, embellished in a rose patterning around the edges, signed off with the Queen's curling signature.
"That was a lot faster than I thought it would be," you tilted your head, turning it in your hands. Dan Heng looked at you, sitting on the edge of the bed from across the room. He hid his face away behind his book. Only he had an inkling why this might have happened, but that he would never say.
writing masterlist | bot masterlist
☾₊ ⊹ AN: this started to go somewhere but i ended up hating it so i've just decided this is a prologue for something that might be longer but im just not sure what lol. i just needed to get this out cus it's been sitting in drafts for way too long and the idea of working on it for a minute longer makes me want to curl up and die. i hope u like it tho!
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Requests are open!
Hannibal Lecter Fanfictions!
Requests;
Sweet Serial Killer Taking Care of You Shard of Blood Thanksgiving Dinner
Honesty Losing Him Their Secret Whisper of Evi Polar Opposites
Mistletoe Hannibal x Will Request Oneshot; First Kiss
Anxiety Attack Audacity Audacity part 2
Hannibal x Reader x Will; A New Beginning
Hannibal x Reader Request; Chapter One Chapter Two(final)
Hannibal x Will x Reader; Tangled In Between
Mrs. Lecter Hannibal x Will x Reader Request; Allergy
Jealous Kiss Princess Crisis of Lust
Oneshot; Hannibal just found out he have the first symptoms of parkinson’s disease, like his hand are beginning to shake and freak out and try everything he could the hide it
Oneshot; Hannibal x reader when Mason Verger gets too close to their young daughter and Hannibal immediately goes into protective dad mode and his daughter immediately doesn’t like Mason.
Oneshot; Reader is Abel Gideon’s daughter & was in medical school but dropped out after the whole “dad killing her entire family” thing. The FBI questions her when they think her dad is the Chesapeake Ripper & she is just shy.
Oneshot ; How Hannibal would react to and tend to a S/O who age regresses? Not super young but like regresses to 10 or 12 to destress or cope.
Oneshot; She's his wife and one evening Will randomly shows up at their house, while they're talking Will notices she has a bite mark (or whatever) on her shoulder/neck and Hannibal catches him staring.
Oneshot; Hannibal comes home and sees that the reader is missing. He thinks she's ran away, she broke up with him but didn't tell him, she's been kidnapped, etc. He searches the whole house and just when's about to give up or start a major freakout, he finds the reader. And it turns out that the reader had just fell off their bed when she was alseep and happened to roll under the bed and stayed alseep.
Onehsot; The reader is innocent and sees the good in everyone, something that attracts Hannibal. But she surprises him when he’s under attack and she just deadass kills the guy hurting Hannibal and her only explanation is “I don’t like the people I love in danger” (bonus points if that’s the first time she tells him she loves him)
Oneshot; Reader is good friends with Will and meets Hannibal but Reader is naturally shy and quiet, Hannibal decides to help her open up with a bit of flirting and rewards her at the end of the night with the long awaited kiss!
Oneshot: Hannibal x reader request where the reader washes Hannibal’s hair and styling it the way he likes it for him after he’s been badly injured and can’t do it himself.
Oneshot: Hannibal x female!avenger!reader part 2? Where it takes place after the snap which 5 years later when everyone that turned to dust already come back and Hannibal come back to search for her.
Oneshot: Hannibal x shy student reader. He is obsessed with her while she has a small crush on him and then he invited her to her house and just cant get enough of her.
Oneshot: Hannibal caught their darling smiling on their phone.
Oneshot: Hannibal x fem(or gn) reader where she gets kidnapped and he finds out and saves her(but she’s injured). Heavy angst to pure fluff!!
Oneshot: Hannibal keeps you all to himself like a Rapunzel situation.
Oneshot: where he is in love with Alana‘s best friend. He met her after she picked up Alana from one of his dinners.
Oneshot: Meeting in an online portal similar to tattle crime where you can chat privately, they start talking and develop like a relationship but for the sake of their identities they keep their real names out of the chat one day you go to therapy and he is your doctor, he calls you by your username, turns out he stalked you the night you met.
Oneshot: Hannibal x Gone Girl type of reader who is running from her past life.
Dangerous Game (Finished) Hannibal x reader
Hannibal X Female Reader
Genre: Romance, Slow burn, SMUT.
Summary: Y/N Hobbs an opera singer and also the eldest adopted daughter of The Minnesto Shrike, and her entire life changes after what happened. She will be the object of affection of a certain psychopath, whether she likes it or not.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11
Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 (final)
#fanfiction#fanfic#reader insert#hannibal lecter#reader#hannibal#hannibal x reader#hannibal x you#mads mikkelsen#mads mikkelsen x reader#hannibal nbc#nbc hannibal#hugh dancy#mads mikkelsen fanart#mads mikkelsen icons#mads mikkleson#hannibal lecter fanfiction#hannibal the cannibal#doctor hannibal lecter
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Crossing The Lines ❀ includes: Gojo, Geto, Sukuna, Toji, Yuji, Megumi & Toge (REQUESTED) Masterlist Pt2: The Lines Were Blurred
You stand in the quiet of your shared apartment, the air heavy with the weight of what you’re about to say. Satoru Gojo, your partner, is sitting on the couch, his usually vibrant eyes now soft and curious as they meet yours. You can feel your heart pounding, each beat echoing the internal conflict you've been wrestling with for weeks.
"Satoru," you begin, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to keep it steady. "We need to talk."
He tilts his head slightly, a playful smile tugging at his lips. "Sounds serious," he teases, but there’s a flicker of concern in his eyes.
You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. "It is serious. I... I’ve been thinking about us, about our relationship."
His smile fades, replaced by a furrowed brow. "What’s going on? Did something happen?"
You can feel the tears welling up, but you blink them back. "Satoru, I... I’m leaving you."
The silence that follows is deafening. Satoru’s eyes widen in shock, his mouth opening and closing as if he’s struggling to find the right words. "What do you mean? Why? Is it something I did?"
You shake your head, stepping closer but still keeping a safe distance. "No, it’s not you. It’s... it’s me. And Suguru."
His expression shifts from confusion to something darker, a mix of hurt and betrayal. "Suguru? My best friend, Suguru?"
You nod, the guilt washing over you like a tidal wave. "Yes. I didn’t plan for this to happen, but... I fell in love with him. And he feels the same way."
Satoru stands up abruptly, running a hand through his white hair in a gesture you’ve seen a thousand times before, but now it feels like a knife twisting in your chest. "How long?" he demands, his voice low and pained. "How long have you been...?"
"It started a few months ago," you confess, each word a dagger. "But it wasn’t physical, not until recently. We tried to fight it, to deny it, but... we couldn’t."
His blue eyes blaze with a mix of emotions – anger, sorrow, disbelief. "I trusted you. Both of you."
"I know," you whisper, tears finally spilling over. "And I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. You have to believe that."
He turns away, his shoulders shaking. "You should go."
Your breath catches in your throat, but you nod, knowing this is what has to happen. "I’ll come back for my things later. I just... I wanted to tell you in person."
Satoru doesn’t respond, his silence more painful than any words could be. You take one last look at the man you once thought you’d spend your life with, and then you leave, closing the door softly behind you.
Suguru Geto sits across from you, his eyes searching your face with a mixture of concern and curiosity. You've rehearsed this conversation a thousand times in your head, but now, standing here, the reality of it feels suffocating.
"Suguru," you begin, your voice trembling slightly. "There's something I need to tell you."
He leans forward, his expression softening. "What is it? You know you can tell me anything."
You take a deep breath, your heart pounding in your chest. "I... I can't do this anymore. Us."
Suguru's brow furrows in confusion. "What do you mean? Are you... are you breaking up with me?"
You nod, tears welling up in your eyes. "I'm so sorry, Suguru. I never wanted to hurt you, but I can't keep lying to myself. Or to you."
He stands up, pacing the room, running a hand through his hair. "Lying? About what? What's going on?"
You swallow hard, the next words feeling like shards of glass in your throat. "I'm leaving you... for Satoru."
Suguru stops dead in his tracks, his eyes wide with shock and hurt. "Satoru? My best friend, Satoru?"
You nod again, unable to meet his gaze. "I didn't plan for this to happen. It just did. I didn't want to betray you, but I can't deny what I feel for him."
The silence that follows is deafening. Suguru's face contorts with a mix of betrayal, anger, and sorrow. "How long has this been going on?"
"Not long," you say quickly. "It just... it just happened. But I need to be honest with you, and with myself."
He takes a step back, shaking his head in disbelief. "I trusted you. I trusted both of you. How could you do this to me?"
Your tears spill over, and you reach out to him, but he steps away, his eyes filled with pain. "Suguru, please. I never wanted to hurt you. I care about you so much, but I can't change how I feel."
He looks at you for a long moment, his expression hardening. "I hope you're happy with him. I really do. But right now, I can't even look at you."
With that, he turns and walks out of the room, leaving you standing there, your heart breaking into a million pieces. You know you've made a choice, but the cost of that choice weighs heavily on your soul.
The air in Sukuna’s estate is heavy, oppressive. The tatami mats under your feet seem to protest every step as you approach him.
His eyes, crimson and merciless, pierce through you, studying your every move with a curiosity that barely masks his inherent menace. You take a deep breath, your heart pounding as you prepare to deliver the news that will change everything.
“Sukuna,” you begin, your voice trembling despite your resolve, “I’m leaving you.”
His eyebrows arch in mock surprise, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “Oh? And where do you think you’re going, little one?”
Your throat feels dry, but you force the words out. “I’m leaving you for Uraume.”
The room falls deathly silent. Sukuna’s smile vanishes, replaced by a cold, murderous glare. The atmosphere grows even more oppressive, and you can feel the weight of his cursed energy pressing down on you. “Uraume?” he repeats, his voice dangerously soft. “My most loyal servant?”
You nod, standing your ground despite the fear clawing at your insides. “Yes. I love them, and they love me. I can’t stay with you any longer.”
In an instant, Sukuna’s expression twists into one of pure rage. “You dare betray me?” he roars, his voice shaking the walls. “I’ll kill you for this!”
His cursed energy flares, and you barely have time to react as he lunges towards you, murderous intent blazing in his eyes.
But before he can reach you, a figure steps between you and Sukuna. Their expression is resolute, unwavering. "Enough," Uraume says, their voice steady and calm.
Sukuna freezes, his eyes narrowing at the defiance of his most loyal servant. "Uraume, stand aside," he commands, but there is a hint of uncertainty in his voice now.
"No," Uraume responds, their tone firm. "I won't let you hurt them."
For a moment, the world holds its breath. Sukuna's rage is a palpable force, but so is Uraume's determination. You stand behind Uraume, your heart racing, but filled with hope. Uraume reaches back, taking your hand in theirs, a gesture of solidarity and love.
Sukuna's eyes flicker between you and Uraume, his fury battling with his confusion. "You would choose them over me?" he growls, his voice barely human.
Uraume nods, their grip on your hand tightening. "Yes. I love them."
A roar of pure rage erupts from Sukuna, the walls trembling with the force of his anger. But Uraume stands firm, and you draw strength from their presence, looking at them with a lovestruck expression hat used to only be reserved for Sukuna.
Finally, Sukuna's eyes soften, just a fraction. "Go," he spits, his voice cold and harsh. "But know this: if I ever see either of you again, I will kill you both."
Uraume turns to you, their eyes softening. “Let’s go,” they say gently, taking your hand.
As you leave Sukuna’s estate behind, you can still feel the weight of his gaze on your back, a reminder of the danger that will always linger. But with Uraume by your side, you know you’ll face whatever comes together.
Toji's piercing green eyes are fixed on you, curiosity and a hint of suspicion flickering within them. You take a deep breath, knowing that what you're about to say will change everything.
"Toji," you begin, your voice trembling slightly, "I need to talk to you."
He raises an eyebrow, his usual smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "What is it?"
You swallow hard, trying to steady your nerves. "I'm leaving you."
The smirk fades, replaced by a cold, hard stare. "What did you say?"
You take another deep breath, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. "I'm leaving you. For Shiu."
Toji's expression shifts from surprise to anger, his jaw clenching tightly. "Shiu? My fucking handler Shiu? Are you serious?"
You nod, feeling a pang of guilt but also a sense of relief at finally getting the words out. "Yes, I am. I care about him, and... I can't stay with you anymore."
Toji's fists tighten, and for a moment, you fear he might lash out. But instead, he takes a step back, his eyes narrowing. "After everything we've been through, you're just going to walk away? For him?"
You nod again, tears welling up in your eyes. "I'm sorry, Toji. I really am. But this is what I need to do."
He shakes his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "You're making a mistake. You know that, right?"
"Maybe," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "But it's my mistake to make."
Toji's expression hardens, and he takes another step back, his eyes never leaving yours. "Fine. Go to him. But don't expect me to be here when things fall apart."
You flinch at his words, knowing there's truth in them. But you also know that staying with Toji isn't an option anymore. You turn away, walking toward the door, each step feeling heavier than the last.
As you reach the doorway, you glance back one last time. Toji is still standing there, his eyes filled with a mixture of anger, hurt, and something else you can't quite place. Regret, maybe. Or resignation.
"I'm sorry," you say again, your voice breaking. Then you turn and walk out the door, leaving Toji and your old life behind.
You sit across from Megumi, the room heavy with an unspoken tension. His dark eyes are as unreadable as ever, and his usual stoic expression makes this even harder. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for what you’re about to say.
"Megumi," you start, your voice trembling slightly. "I need to talk to you about something important."
He looks up from the book he’s been pretending to read, giving you his full attention. There’s a flicker of concern in his gaze, but he waits patiently for you to continue.
"I… I've been struggling with this for a while," you say, twisting your hands in your lap. "You know how much I care about you, right? How much you mean to me?"
He nods, but his expression tightens slightly. "What’s going on?"
You swallow hard, feeling the weight of the words you’re about to utter. "I’ve fallen in love with someone else."
The silence that follows is deafening. Megumi’s face remains impassive, but you can see the slight clenching of his jaw, the way his hands tighten around the book.
"Who?" he asks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Yuji," you say, almost inaudibly. "It’s Yuji."
Megumi’s eyes close for a moment, and when he opens them again, there’s a storm brewing in their depths. "Yuji?" he repeats, as if trying to make sense of the name. "My best friend?"
You nod, tears welling up in your eyes. "I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did. He makes me feel… alive, in a way I can’t explain."
Megumi stands up abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor. He walks to the window, staring out at nothing in particular. The silence stretches on, and you feel your heart breaking with each passing second.
"I see," he finally says, his voice devoid of emotion. "So, what happens now?"
You stand as well, taking a tentative step toward him. "I don’t want to hurt you, Megumi. I never wanted this. But I can’t lie to myself, or to you."
He turns to face you, his expression inscrutable. "I wish you’d told me sooner," he says quietly. "But if this is what you need… if Yuji is what you need, then I won’t stand in your way."
Tears spill down your cheeks, and you choke back a sob. "I’m so sorry, Megumi."
He shakes his head, a sad smile playing on his lips. "Don’t be. Just… be happy, okay?"
You nod, knowing that this is the best you can hope for. "Thank you, Megumi. For everything."
He doesn’t respond, just turns back to the window, his silhouette outlined by the fading light. You take one last look at him, memorizing the way he stands, the way he breathes, before you turn and walk out of the room, your heart aching for what you’ve lost and what you hope to find.
You sit across from Yuji Itadori, the weight of the words you're about to say pressing heavily on your chest. The café's bustling noise feels distant, as if a bubble has formed around the two of you, isolating you in a moment you wish you could avoid. Yuji's cheerful face, always so full of life, gradually morphs into one of concern as he notices your unease.
"Is everything okay?" he asks, his voice gentle and eyes filled with genuine worry.
You take a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling hands. "Yuji, there's something I need to tell you. It's not easy, and I don't want to hurt you, but I have to be honest."
He leans in, his expression turning serious. "You can tell me anything. You know that, right?"
Your heart aches at his trust, making what you're about to say even more difficult. "Yuji, I'm leaving you," you begin, watching as confusion and hurt flash across his face. "I'm leaving you for Megumi."
For a moment, there's complete silence. The words hang in the air, almost tangible. Yuji blinks, as if trying to process what you've just said. "Megumi?" he echoes, disbelief evident in his voice.
You nod, feeling tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. "I didn't plan for this to happen. It just did. Megumi and I... we grew close, and I realized that my feelings for him are stronger than I ever expected."
Yuji's face crumples, and you can see the pain you're causing him. "But... he's my best friend," he whispers, more to himself than to you.
"I know," you reply softly. "And that makes this so much harder. I never wanted to come between you two, but I can't lie to you or myself anymore."
He looks away, struggling to keep his composure. "Does he know?" he asks after a long pause.
"Yes," you admit. "We've talked about it, and he feels the same way."
Yuji's shoulders slump, the fight leaving his body. "I see," he says quietly. "I guess... I guess I can't stop you. If that's where your heart is, then I won't stand in the way."
Tears spill over, and you reach out to touch his hand, but he pulls away. "I'm so sorry, Yuji. I never wanted to hurt you like this."
He forces a sad smile, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I know. I just... I need some time to process this."
You nod, understanding the depth of the pain you're causing. "Take all the time you need. I hope someday you can forgive me."
He stands up slowly, looking down at you with a mixture of sorrow and acceptance. "I hope so too. Goodbye."
You stand in front of Toge, feeling the weight of your decision pressing down on your chest. The air between you crackles with tension, and you know that what you're about to say will change everything.
"Toge," you begin, your voice barely above a whisper, "there's something I need to tell you."
He turns to you, his dark eyes searching your face for any hint of what's to come. You take a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to speak the words that have been haunting your thoughts.
"I'm leaving you," you say, each word heavy with the weight of your betrayal. "I'm leaving you for Yuta."
Toge's expression doesn't change, but you can see the hurt flicker in his eyes. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. You can feel his pain, his confusion, and it tears at your heart.
"I'm sorry, Toge," you continue, your voice trembling with emotion. "I never meant for this to happen. It's just... Yuta and I, we have something special. I can't ignore it anymore."
You reach out to touch his arm, but he pulls away, his silence speaking volumes. You know you've broken something between you, something that might never be repaired.
"I'll pack my things," you say softly, your voice barely audible over the sound of your own heart breaking. "I'll leave tonight."
And with that, you turn away, unable to bear the pain in Toge's eyes any longer. As you walk away, you can't help but wonder if you've made the biggest mistake of your life. But it's too late now. The damage is done, and all you can do is try to pick up the pieces and move forward, even if it means leaving behind the person you once thought you couldn't live without.
#jjk x reader#jjk smau#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo x reader#gojosatoru#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x you#satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#geto x y/n#geto x you#suguru geto x reader#geto x reader#suguru x reader#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#sukuna#toji x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x y/n#toji x you#megumi x you#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi x reader#yuji itadori x y/n#yuji itadori x you
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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)
Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.3 K Warnings: ANGST! Prompt: Vixen tries to survive in the snow while Remus desperatly tries to find her. This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp
Chapter 46: Comfortably Numb
Well, hold on, my darling This mess was yours Now your mess is mine
You had woken up hastily after seeing Nina, your eyes snapping open in hopes she really was there, but there was no one, just more snow, gently falling on top of the white layer already covering most of the fields. Your eyes started to close again until you felt something on your nose, you opened your eyes only to see a blue butterfly.
But here? In the snow? You wondered as you saw its wings bat desperate, tired, and cold. You could feel the crisp taping of paper-like, frozen delicate things against your cheek and lashes, urging you to open your eyes back up, to wake up and fight.
You moved your hand towards your face and the butterfly gingerly jumped to your finger, “You must be cold,” you whispered. You felt cold too, although it wasn’t as cold as before. In truth you were so tired and numb, you barely registered how cold it was until you felt her wings flapping against your cheeks.
“If I had my wand I could make us a fire,” you said, “but that was taken away from me, to help someone who helped me get here… You can stay by me if you want…” you added as you let your hand fall on your lap carefully. The small butterfly flapped their wings again, desperate to get your attention.
“Not warm enough, is it?” You asked and sighed. “I’ll try to get us there then,” you said as you pointed at the shack, you knew it would be warm. It was hard to get up, the stunning spell and how tired you were at this point had taken a toll on you. Your movements were strained and languid, it took you a full minute to stand. The butterfly kept flying around you, desperate. You extended your hand to help and she flew towards your shoulder, sitting just over the sleeve of your dress.
Oh right, you were only wearing a dress, perhaps that was the reason it was so cold. You managed to walk all the way to the door, with a slow and steady pace, but once you reached, the door wouldn’t budge. It was firmly closed, and you didn’t have your wand to pry it open, you didn’t even have the penknife you had made for Sirius. You leaned your back against the doorframe, you felt so tired.
“Looks like we’re staying out here, Blue,” you said as you looked at the butterfly, who flew rapidly towards your face in response. You sighed, “You wouldn’t make it, would you?” you asked and pushed yourself off the door, searching for another way in. That’s when you spotted one of the crossed-out windows. Perhaps if I try hard enough…
You used the walls to step down from the stairs and walked towards the window. It was covered with wood, but one of the slabs seemed at least slightly rotten, so you grabbed that one, ignoring the splinters digging into your palms and pulled.
Nothing happened. You frowned, took a deep breath and pulled again. There was a creaking sound, but the wood was still firmly glued to the side panels of the window. You nodded, hyping yourself up as you tried again. One, two, three, PULL!
The piece of wood came along with you as you stumbled back a good few steps. You looked at it and smiled, throwing the wood on the floor and leaning against the window. It was still as messy as you remembered, but the clouding against the window meant it was warm. You grabbed a fist full of the flowy fabric of your dress and punched on the window, you felt it shatter as your fist went through the crystal. When you pulled your hand back you allowed your dress and the tiny shards of glass to fall onto the snow.
You turned around and pushed your hand towards the butterfly. She placed herself in the middle of your palm and you carefully brought her inside. She seemed even more active once inside the warmer climate and you smiled. At least you could save a butterfly.
You swallowed again and tried to pull the wood slab just over the one you had managed to rip out earlier but it was useless, the wood wasn’t as putrid as the other one, and it was firmly nailed onto the window. You huffed and tried again, but the result was the same. The butterfly seemed to be flying desperately as it watched you struggle. You sighed after trying one more time and allowed yourself to fall on the floor, your eyes closed when you felt the flapping of the wings against your cheeks again.
“What are you doing here?” you asked as you stared at it. “Go back inside, it’s warm, you’ll diе out here.”
The butterfly stubbornly flew around you. It couldn’t talk, but if it did, you’d imagine it would be telling you the same thing you were trying to tell it. You sighed and stood up, helping her back inside. “I’ll find safety,” you promised as you looked at her. “But you need to stay inside.”
The butterfly refused. You carefully hurled her back inside. It wasn’t easy but you were gentle enough not to hurt her. Once she was inside you dug down and grabbed some snow, attempting to close the hole you’d made with it. You dragged the snow from the sides of the sill and pressed them against the opened area, ignoring the sharp pain when a shard of glass dug into the side of your palm. Or perhaps it was more than one, your hand was too numb to feel it all.
Once you made sure the butterfly wouldn’t be able to follow, you took a deep breath and focused on the snow. You used a similar spell to the one you had used on the snow fight, but rather than a projectile, you used the same type of magic to make sure the snow wouldn’t melt for a while. The butterfly was fluttering madly inside, as if desperate to come back out.
“It’s all right,” you reassured, “I’ll find a way to safety, I promise.” You smiled faintly and then turned around. If you couldn’t get inside the shack, then the closest way to safety was through the forest. You weren’t scared, you knew the most dangerous thing that roamed it already, and he wasn’t around tonight.
You looked up at the sky, the stars were impossibly bright, and the moon was waning. The path towards the forest was dark, but illuminated enough for you to see your way. You took in a deep cold breath and decided that if you’d have to get to the castle either way, you might as well do it now.
The snow was hard and freezing, your feet hurt as you tried to raise them so you were pretty much dragging them through the thick and cold snow. With no shoes, they felt colder than ever, you could barely feel them at this point, but you kept walking.
You fell more than once, but the ghost memory of the Blue flapping her wings against your cheeks got you to stand again. To keep walking, to keep fighting. But the castle seemed so far away, and the cold snow appeared as a welcoming blanket every time you stumbled onto it again. It was tempting, awfully tempting to just allow yourself to fall on it, to let it slowly drape over you and to become numb, not only your body, but your mind as well.
When would they find you if you did? In a week when they realised you were gone? In a month when other animals dug you out of the snow desperate for something to eat? In months? After the weather grew warm and the insects had made your skin their home. You wished you could shudder at the sombre thoughts, but the snow still looked beguiling.
Perhaps she would wash away your thoughts, perhaps she’d get rid of the pain inside like she had done with the one outside. The soft, white blanket, ready to wrap itself around you until you were completely swallowed by it, until you were one with it, and nothing more.
But the memory of the butterfly got you up again, you’d have to go back to help her out, if you stayed in the snow, then she would stay in the shack, and the two of you would be nothing more than a memory.
Remus had run to the Whomping Willow the second he pocketed the mirror. He didn’t even bother hiding the fact that he was going out at night, he didn’t sneak out, he didn’t care if he got detention, he didn’t care if he got expelled. Not after what Sirius had told him. Not after hearing how you were sitting on the snow, with your eyes closing and with the same cold he felt, so heavy around him. The snow was falling so hard he couldn’t see more than a few metres ahead, and he was scared.
No, Remus was terrified, as terrified as he had been that night you’d discovered he was a Werewolf, as terrified as he was when he saw you fall from your broom back at the game, as terrified as that night you insisted on turning into Vixen alongside the rest of the Marauders to be with Moony.
He had been terrified of losing you then, and he was hysterical over feeling the exact same way now. He sprinted towards the tree, not thinking twice if he would get hit by one of its branches as he ducked and jumped to get to the hole. He slid down and ran, so fast his legs cried for him to stop, his heart drumming in his ears and his breath short. It took some time, but when he finally made it, when he found the door, he busted it open and walked inside. He didn’t waste time, walking towards the entrance and using his wand to open the door.
“Sirius said you’d be there,” he whispered as he looked at the empty fence. The snow had already covered your tracks, but he could smell the same urgent, scared and terrified scent of you he was already familiar with. He looked around and spotted the wood slab you had ripped from the window. He could smell bIood on it and he cringed, taking it in his hands only to spot small droplets of it over the sides. He winced at the thought of you hurting yourself and then dropped the wood and looked around again. The snow, being so thick, had easily erased your steps, but even if he couldn’t see, he could smell.
His senses weren’t as keen as they were close to the moon, he wasn’t as good at tracking as Moony was, but if there was a time to take advantage of his abilities, it was now. He closed his eyes and focused on you. It was hard at first, the snow was thick and cold and his nose was freezing, but he managed to spot you, a trace of you. When he opened his eyes again, they were way more golden than normal, and he sprinted towards the source of the smell. He ran, ignoring the snow that had slipped inside his Converse, ignoring the complaints of his bones. The moon had been only days ago and he was still rather sore, but he ran.
By the time he spotted a faint dark dot in the distance, he was already panting, but he pushed through and sprinted all the way to you. By the time he reached you, you were kneeling on the floor, slow breaths and looking up, attempting to stand again. He kneeled in front of you and took you a minute to really see him, thinking for a moment it was just another game your mind was playing on you.
“Rem?” you asked, voice cracked and barely a whisper.
“Merlin, you’re all right,” he said as he dragged you towards him. You weren’t all right. You felt as cold as the place surrounding you. Remus panicked as he held you close to him. And he took off the coat he was wearing to wrap it around you.
“No, it’s cold, you use it,” you slurred as you shivered. Remus gave you a sympathetic look.
“I’m going to carry you, I think I can apparate you back in the Shack,” he explained.
“It’s closed, can’t open it…” you said as you shook your head, not quite thinking. “Must get to the castle, it’s safe,” you said, you had told yourself that over and over again as you walked, you were merely repeating it now. Not even thinking Remus could probably crank the door open if he wanted to.
“You don’t have your wand?” he said as he pulled you up from the floor and slung one of your arms around his shoulder. You shook your head in response. “I’m going to pick you up now,” he added as he passed his arm under your legs and pulled you up with ease. “I have my wand,” he added reassuringly, handing it over to you, he knew it would make you feel better.
And then he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and concentrating on the Shack. The shape of the walls, the window covered by wooden slabs, the run-down chimney and the scuffed floors, once the image was neat enough, he followed Dumbledore’s instructions, the world dissolved around him only for him to appear in the shack. The first thing he did was let you down on the floor carefully and make sure he hadn’t accidentally splinched you.
“You alright? Anything hurts?” He asked as he placed his hands on your face to check on you. They were warm and kind, incredibly reassuring to your still-fuzzy mind. You couldn’t have been dreaming that, could you?
You focused your gaze on his, still rather dazed and shook your head. He placed his hand over yours and took hold of the wand, closing the door with a short wave of it and then turning the fire to help the room heat up slowly.
He took a look at you, your skin was dull with the cold, the colour fading and stale. Remus carried you again and dragged you towards the room, the torn sheets from a few nights back were still on the bed and he sat you there slowly. He asked you a few questions, and you responded automatically, too numb to think properly.
“Luv, you’re not even listening to me,” he complained as he pulled your face into your hands. You blinked and tried to focus on him again.
“Sorry,” you mustered.
He sighed. “Listen, I’m going to give you my jumper, and then I’ll check your hands up. We need to warm you up slowly, okay?”
“It is cold,” you responded as your teeth clung together.
Remus took off his jumper and helped you put it on top of your dress. The dress was cold, but he used a spell to have it warm up slowly as he laid you on the bed. “Is it better?”
You nodded, jaw still quivering from the cold. Remus took a short breath and pulled your hands towards his. Some of the splinters of wood were still stuck in your hand and he was careful as he started to remove them. Your hands were cold and he could see small –now melting– crystals of bIood attached to certain sections of your palm. When he was done, he used a spell to aid the healing process, your hands had just started to get their warmth back when he heard a heavy breath coming from you.
You had fallen asleep. Peaceful, but still shivering. He frowned and pulled the mirror from his pocket. Sirius, taking the wand from the bed and using it to send to shine a light, Sirius instantly peaked his head on the other side.
“How is she? Is she okay?” Sirius mouthed desperately.
Remus smiled and nodded, showing him your sleeping figure. “She’s cold,” he explained. “I’m trying to warm her up.”
“Hug her!” Sirius said instantly. “Cuddle her! You’re always warm!” Remus gave him a questioning look. “You always cuddle her, it’s no different.”
It was very different. Remus had never cuddled you without Sirius in the bed too. James beside Sirius nodded supportingly. He didn’t see the issue, he’d cuddle you if it was necessary. Of course, James saw you as a friend and nothing more.
Remus nodded and left the mirror on the table, promising the boys he’ll talk to them later, with the radio to explain it all better. Then he leaned onto the edge of the bed. “Little Witch,” he called softly.
You didn’t react, eyes still closed and breathing slow. He placed a hand on your face, it was warmer, but still colder than it should be. He played with a bit of your hair and placed it behind your ear, allowing his fingers to brush over your face, “Little Witch,” he called again.
You were beautiful, even in the cold, even with the shivers, Remus thought you looked stunning. He wondered how you must have looked when you stepped into that party, with your hair perfectly arranged and your makeup freshly done, definitely a sight to behold. And then he sighed, here he was ogling at you while his best friend –your boyfriend– was at home, worried for his girlfriend. Asking him to cuddle you, and yet he felt doing so would be akin to betrayal, just because of how much he liked you.
“Little Witch,” he said again, this time you hummed, your eyes opening slightly, unfocused. “I think I should cuddle you to warm you up faster, is that okay?”
“It is always okay for you to cuddle me,” you responded, not quite thinking, and closing your eyes again before you noticed the blush on Remus’ cheeks. You couldn’t have meant that, or perhaps you did, in which case you really thought of him as your closest friend, which in turn, made him feel even worse.
Remus carefully climbed onto the bed and under the covers. He was on the side, and hesitated a little before leaning in to cuddle you. Most of the time, it was you and Sirius that leaned into him, not the other way around. He never wanted to seem invasive, and he really only moved you around when you were Vixen. It was easier to think of the two of you as different entities instead of the same.
But you leaned back to him almost instantly, allowing your head to rest on one of his arms and pulling the other one around you. You seemed a lot more comfortable, the shivering reducing significantly. It took a minute for Remus to untense, but eventually, he relaxed on to you, even daring to bring you closer as he rubbed his hand over your clothed arm to try and warm you up faster with the friction. Eventually, he too fell asleep.
When he opened his eyes again, you weren’t there. He stood up in an instant, terrified you had been a dream, that he hadn’t found you in the snow and that for some twisted reason, you were still out there freezing. But then he spotted the silhouette of a shadow, and he looked ahead. Crouched, looking impossibly small, you sat next to the fire, using a poker to liven up the flames, arm wrapped around your legs and using both his jumper and his coat to warm yourself up. He couldn’t see your face, but the way you were breathing… it looked like you had been crying.
He pulled the covers off of him and dragged them alongside himself as he sat next to you. He didn’t make a sound as he placed the covers around the two of you, and he hesitated before placing his hand on your forehead, then allowing it to slide down your cheek, and letting his thumb brush under your chin. You were a lot warmer now.
You didn’t react, you allowed him to touch you as you continued to stare at the fire. The dancing flames reflecting onto your glassy eyes.
Your temperature had risen, the cold was no longer clouding your mind, and you had struggled to hold back the tears for at least half an hour before you decided to step out of bed, hoping not to wake Remus up with your sobs. You didn’t want to cry in front of him, not after what you’d done, after what you’d caused. You didn’t deserve to cry.
“Little Witch?” Remus asked, tilting his head to the side when you attempted to blink back some tears.
You swallowed thickly, did you even deserve such an endearing nickname?
“Hey,” he leaned a little closer, placing a hand on your shoulder, you avoided his gaze, how interesting did the dancing flames seem, with their hues of yellow, red and bright white, with the sparkling bits floating off until they disappeared, with the ash of the wood piling at the bottom. It clearly hadn’t been cleared in a while.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
“Love, whatever happened, I won’t judge you, you know that, right?”
It was as if he had guessed your thoughts, Remus had always been incredibly perceptive, you sometimes underestimated just how much. But Remus understood, he understood exactly what you were feeling because he had played the scenario where he accidentally hurt those he loved over and over again in his brain for years.
And while he didn’t know much, Sirius did tell him about the fire and about your mother’s passing.
He was looking at you with such a kind-hearted look, trusting and kind. Like he would give you the world if you asked –he would– and you couldn’t help but break. You disliked being vulnerable, you hated having to show said vulnerability, but with Remus looking at you like that, with the night you’d had, perhaps allowing yourself to cry in front of your best friend wouldn’t be so bad. You knew Remus wouldn’t judge you, at least not for crying.
“Love?” he asked, you sobbed. Your face slowly scrunching up as you sniffed. It was hard to breathe as you opened your mouth to take in some air and then you sobbed again.
“I kiIled them,” you said, barely managing to open your eyes to look at Remus straight in the face. You wanted to see his reaction, half expecting him to pull back, to look at you in disgust, to recoil from you and to leave you crying alone in the room. A part of you wanted that, the part that wanted to cry and break everything, the one that needed to be alone.
But Remus didn’t do any of those things, instead, he opened his arms and wrapped them around you, bringing you closer to him, “I don’t care,” he said honestly.
You sobbed, and pulled back to look at him, “I kiIIed them, Remus!” you repeated, louder now. “My mum and Nina, they’re both dеad because of me!”
You felt Remus’ breath slow down as he tightened his arms around you and dragged you back into the hug. He didn’t know about Nina. “Did you want to kiIl them?” he asked simply. He wouldn’t have pushed you away even if you had.
“No,” you said in a whisper.
“Then it was an accident.”
You sniffed, trying to push him off, but he tightened his grip around you, not allowing you to snap out of his embrace. “But I still caused their dеaths! I’m a murderer!”
“I don’t care,” he repeated as he pushed you even closer to him. “I wouldn’t even care if you had done it on purpose, that would just mean they gave you a reason.” You sobbed, allowing the tears to slide down your cheeks, wetting the soft cotton shirt he wore. You didn’t realise it then, but it was the Sex Pistols shirt you had sent him as a gift.
“You don’t have to tell me what happened, you don’t need to tell me anything at all,” he said softly as he brushed his hand on your back and pulled you even closer, so close you ended up sitting on his lap as you leaned into him and cried. “But I’m here, darling. I’m here and you can cry with me all you need.”
You had no idea how comforting it could be to cry with someone, you had always done it alone. But Remus was soft and reassuring, whispering calming words into your ears as he continued to brush his hands on you. Over your back, on your head, almost like he did when you were Vixen, but with more purpose now, it wasn’t about making Vixen get the smell of the pack, it wasn’t about making her warm, it was about making you warm.
He was hugging you consciously, brushing his hands over your body in an attempt to make you feel solace, and while his touch didn’t have the amnesiac ability the Lethe offered –and that you might have gladly drunk that night– he did offer a comfort like you hadn’t experienced in your life. Crying into Remus’ arms was like crying in a bed of soft, feathery clouds. Like the angels had come down to earth to commiserate you and absolve you of your wrongdoings.
It was also comforting to know that no matter what, you had someone on your side. You had lost your father that night, you had kiIled your mother and your friend had diеd trying to protect you, even though Barty and Evan helped you escape, you had never felt so immeasurably lonely as you had while you tried to help that small butterfly, or when you had walked towards the castle, your feet on the cold snow feeling number as the minutes passed by.
And then you ended up with Remus, hugging you and whispering how things would be all right, how Sirius and James had been worried and how happy they had been when he showed them you were all right. That no matter what you did, he wouldn’t leave, that Sirius wouldn’t leave and that your friends would be there for you. That you were part of them, and not even dеath herself could change that.
You cried in your best friend’s arms until you ran out of tears. You told him in between sobs what had happened, and he had patiently listened to your rambling as he continued to hold you. He would tighten his grip when your breath ran short and your tears grew thick. Only to let it loose and look at your face when you relaxed into him again. He was warm, the cold you had felt initially almost completely forgotten in his embrace.
“Thank you,” you whispered after a while, after telling him everything that had happened and after realising that, even then, he wouldn’t leave.
“There’s nothing to thank me for, my love,” he said and dragged you closer to him. If anything, it should be him the one thanking you, for letting yourself be vulnerable in front of him, for trusting him enough to let him hold you and to cry into his arms. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, because holding you so tight shouldn’t make him feel as satisfied as he did, not when the reason he held you was how desperate and sad you were.
And he felt your anguish, and he felt your pain, but that didn’t stop that small, touch-starved part of him from loving the fact that it was him the one that got to comfort you. That you clung to him for dear life, not to Sirius, not to anyone else.
It was when your breath finally steadiеd that he realised you had fallen asleep again. He smiled and brought you back onto the bed. Cleaning the remaining salty water from your cheeks as he brushed your hair and accommodated you again. Your eyes were slightly swollen, you certainly looked like you had been crying, but he was sure Sirius would still be worried.
He called him through the mirror again, he wrote a short note, telling him about you waking up and about being very upset, that you had been the one to cause the Fiendfyre and that you were very tired. That you were finally warmer and that he’d see if it was possible to call him later when you both went back to the castle.
Sirius was a lot more relaxed now, especially when he saw Remus lying next to you in the bed. You had cuddled against the boy in the same way you cuddled to Sirius sometimes. He thought it was endearing, even if you were hugging someone else. It made him a lot more relaxed to think you weren’t alone, he had been alone many times. And you were with Remus, big strong and calm Remus, everything would be all right.
By the time you woke up again, there was light filtering through the slab-covered windows. Beams of bright yellow reflected onto the worn-out floors, you looked at it for a minute, enjoying the warmth and almost pushing yourself back against the firm figure behind you. It was comfortable, peaceful, and reassuring, you realised there was an arm around you as well, keeping you close to them and to their warmth.
You looked at the spores floating in the light beams, dusty, you thought as you stared, it took you a moment to really gather where you were, who you were with and how you’d ended up there. You had slept, you had slept a lot and yet you felt tired. The toll of the previous night, the weight of your now dried tears, still heavy in your mind.
Did you want to cry again? Did you even deserve to?
What else could you do if not that?
“You’re awake?” Remus’ groggy voice asked from behind as he brushed a piece of hair off your face, immeasurably soft and tender.
“I was trying to convince myself it all had been a nightmare,” you replied with a sad, breathy laugh.
Remus shook his head, “You’re in a better mood, I see.”
“At least I’m not out there freezing anymore…” There was a bit of silence, and then your brain started working again.
Wait a minute… how did he find you?
You turned around hastily, Remus almost pulled back from how close your face was to his now, but he stayed where he was, he didn’t want to push you away by making any harsh movements.
“How did you… How did you know I needed help?”
“Sirius,” Remus admitted. You frowned, it still made no sense. Remus looked at you and then down at your neck, he could see the map charm hanging inside the necklace Sirius had given you. He picked it up and carefully rubbed his thumb over the original charm, “I think it has to do with this.”
You looked at his hands with a frown, the charm looked much smaller in his hands than it did in yours, “The necklace from El Maleficio?”
“I suppose Sirius never got around to telling you?” You gave him a confused look in response. “He’s got a burn on his hand, the moment he touched it, something happened, the man in the store said it was connected to him now, he assumed it was some sort of bIood magic or something.” You listened to him attentively as he continued, “he had an awful nightmare, he was seeing everything from your point of view.”
You swallowed, “So… he knows everything…” you said, there was a horrified expression on your face, as if Sirius knowing would be the end of your relationship.
“He asked me to get you after he saw Barty use the stunning spell,” Remus added. “He was worried.”
“Worried? Not angry not–”
Remus shook his head, knowing exactly what you meant. “You couldn’t get rid of us even if you went all Grindelwald, Little Witch.”
“Merlin, I’d hope you would get rid of me if I went all Grindelwald,” you replied almost instantly. Still, the sentiment was nice, to know that you’d have them on your side, both Remus and Sirius, no matter what. You were lucky to have a boyfriend and a best friend like that.
“Maybe lock you up in a cage until you reassessed your choices,” Remus joked as he turned to look at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to just stare into your eyes like he had been doing much longer without leaning in to kiss you. Oh, how he craved your lips sometimes. You shoved him lightly on the side and he made a rather exaggerated sound of pain.
“Drama queen,” you said as you shoved him again. He shook his head and laughed, now you too turned to look at the ceiling. It was as worn as the floor, some of the paint peeling, some of it scratched and broken. You assumed that it had been Moony.
There was a comfortable silence surrounding the two of you. You were warm as you lay close to him, but more than that, you felt safe. As if, now that you were with Remus, there was no danger, nothing could touch you in the small bubble inside the Shrieking Shack. You weren’t sure you wanted to step out, to face the real world.
Would there be consequences? Would you be criminally charged? Could they even criminally charge you with all the things you had seen them do?
“Sirius will probably want to speak to you,” Remus said. “I got him a radio for Christmas, there’s another one in our room, and we also use the mirror to see each other.”
“You made holoprojectors? Like in Star Wars?” you asked curiously, turning your face to look at Remus’.
“Kind of,” he replied. “It’s not exactly the same, we don’t have holographic projections of each other but–”
“–I bet you could do it!” you interrupted, “there’s bound to be a way in which you can use magic to make holoprojectors happen… at least until science catches up.”
Remus knew what you were doing, you were completely avoiding the topic of last night, leaving it in the back of your mind, trying to ignore it. If you didn’t pay attention to it then, it couldn’t have been real.
He wasn’t sure if he should let you, you had cried so much earlier, and while he loved to be the one to hold you, that didn’t stop the pressure in his chest as he saw you struggle. He didn’t want you to cry because it pained him to see you like that.
“I assume we could,” he conceded. Perhaps he could let you ignore it for a little longer, for as long as you needed. You probably still had to process all of it. And there was a lot to process. You had told him everything, from the start of the night to the end of it, albeit in between sobs and sniffles, he had a pretty strong picture of all of it, perhaps stronger than Sirius’ who had lived part of it alongside you.
After all, he had heard your feelings, not just seen what had happened. He knew what Evan and Barty had done for you, which had been perhaps the most surprising thing of the night, the fact that either of them had some sense of debt and that Evan felt he owed you something for not telling the truth to his father, which had just been basic human decency.
“Do you want to go back to the castle?” he asked.
“No,” you said honestly and pulled the raggedy covers over your head, they still kind of smelled like Padfoot, Vixen and Moony, that too was comforting.
“You want some chocolate?” he asked.
You peeked your head from the covers to look at him, your nose still covered but your eyes wide open and looking straight at him as you nodded.
“You’re hungry, then?”
You sighed and nodded. You weren’t sure you were in the mood to eat, but the rumbling in your stomach said otherwise. The toll of magic used the previous night was finally hitting you, and as your body worked to fill you with magic again, the used-up energy showed in the form of hunger, and meat craving.
That craving had been gone for a while, the longer time you spent with Rem the more it seemed to go away, but today it had come back and it had come back strong. You wondered if it had to do with how much of your magic you had used up, or perhaps it was the moon, or Remus also wanted meat and he was projecting that onto you.
If he had been the one to scratch you, did it make sense? There was not enough information on werewolves.
“Then we must go to the castle.”
You pulled the covers over your face again and dramatically buried your head in his chest. “No, Remus,” you said, voice muffled by his shirt. “Just give me the chocolate.”
“I have no chocolate.” You dug your hand in his pocket. There was an empty wrapper. “Oi!” he complained as he squirmed to the side.
Did he really have no chocolate? That was impossible. You didn’t really care much for his complaint and leaned a little closer, resting your elbow on top of him to check the other pocket. There was a folded piece of paper and nothing else. You placed the paper back in the spot and pulled the covers to look at him, still leaning half of your body on his.
He had that very smug expression on his face that clearly said ‘I told you so’.
“Are you done manhandling me?” he asked calmly.
“No,” you said as you tried to lift him up to check his back pocket, but he didn’t budge.
“There is no chocolate,” he repeated. “I have some in the castle, though.”
“Why do you insist on taking me there?” you asked with a pout, now letting your arms and head lay close to his sternum.
“Because Pomfrey is there,” he said honestly. “You should get checked.”
Your face turned cold, emotionless even. The little bubble you had allowed yourself to rest in completely bursting at the thought of going to the infirmary. Of getting checked, because last night had been real, because last night you had almost diеd frozen in the snow and then earlier attacked by Lucius or perhaps tortured by Bellatrix.
“It’s okay,” Remus said kindly, resisting the urge to place his hand on your head and play with your hair reassuringly, “She won’t ask questions, she’ll just make sure you’re okay.”
You took a slow controlled breath, your eyes watering as you avoided Remus’s gaze for a second, turning back to look at him as you wet your lips, they were dry and chapped from how much you’d cried. Going out seemed like an immense effort, like stepping back into reality and into the war. You’d have to talk to Dumbledore, or at least to Nightshade, you had to tell them about the dinner and about all the people you’d seen there. You couldn’t be sure if they were all dеatheaters, but they had definitely been accessories to the crimes committed.
Should you let the papers know? Would they even care?
There were about a million things swinging inside your head and you were aware that you couldn’t just stay cooped up in Remus’ arms and ignore everything completely, but that didn’t make it any less tempting. Perhaps Remus was a lot more like the Lethe than you originally thought, not because he made you forget everything that’s happened, but because his company offered a solace enough to cloud those thoughts out of your mind.
Ironically, there was nothing more calming than your friend the werewolf. Perhaps he was so calm and collected because he was a werewolf, spending all of his life with the goal of keeping his temper down and maintaining it in check. Like Bruce Banner, who was the calmest of superheroes (when he wasn’t the Hulk).
“Can we eat first and go to Pomfrey later?”
“No,” Remus said simply. You pouted in response. “Not even with that pretty pout of yours, sweetheart, it is non-negotiable.”
“But Remus I–”
“You can have a chocolate first,” he said as he lifted his hips slightly and handed over a small bar of chocolate.
You gasped as he passed it over to you, “You said there was no chocolate.”
Remus shrugged in response and broke off a piece of the chocolate in your hands, bringing it to his mouth and plopping it in. You laid your head on his chest again and bit off a piece yourself. You still didn’t want to go, you wanted to stay in the bubble, but bubbles were beautiful because they were ephemeral.
They were meant to burst and sparkle leaving traces of soapy water on the floor. And that’s exactly what you had to do now. You closed your eyes before standing up. You didn’t feel as sore as you thought you would, but when you stepped down on the floor you couldn’t stop the hiss that erupted from your mouth. Remus threw you a worried glance as he sat up on the bed “What is it?”
You pulled your feet up to your knee, there were blisters, and peeling skin, like you had been burned. Of course, you had been walking with no shoes. You had gotten badly ice burned. Your knees weren’t much better either. You hadn’t noticed since your dress covered most of them, and the emotional pain had been much worse than the physical one last night but they were also scuffed, a section already getting a scab while the other was just badly bruised.
Remus leaned over your shoulder to take a better look, “And you wanted to eat first.”
“I’m still hungry,” you said, trying to distract yourself with Remus’ calming smell instead of thinking about how you’d gotten those. Probably when Bella stunned you and–
“Can you walk?”
“Of course I can walk,” you responded as you stood up. Did it hurt? Hell-a-fucking-lot. Could you manage? Well, you’d have to.
“Sure?”
“Very,” you responded, avoiding gritting your teeth against one another completely.
You wished you had your wand, perhaps you could use some pain reliever spell or something. Remus stood up and put on his boots. You handed him his jumper and coat, he returned the latter one to you “Keep it, it’s cold outside.”
In reality, Remus was the last person to want to burst the bubble you’d created. If it was on him, he’d have stayed with you in the Shack ‘til the end of time. He loved how much closer you had veered to him, while during the night it had been for warmth, once awake he knew it was you, purposely laying your head on his chest and digging through his pockets.
He was also happy to see you. Or at least glimpses of you, not that broken, and terrified version of you he’d met the last night. He loved both the same, but there was nothing more heart-wrenching than your sobs and nothing more warming than your laughs, even if they were still slightly strained.
You put the coat on and the two of you walked towards the door and entered into the hallway. The sprinkle of soapy water falling as you both stepped into the dark. The beautiful, and warm environment instantly switched for the colder and unforgiving passageway you’d have to walk through to get to castle grounds.
Bring me to your house and tell me "Sorry for the mess", hey, I don't mind You're talking in your sleep, out of time Well, you still make sense to me, your mess is mine
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playing hooky
9.2k / pairing: linecook!frankie x waitress f!reader
Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter l Next Chapter
summary: Frankie calls in sick for his shift. You simply must investigate.
warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), mentions of reader previously being on her period, smoking w33d, getting h!gh, swearing, pet names (angel, princess, etc.), handjob if you squint, oral (f! receiving), unprotected p in v, h!gh sex, aftercare, tangled feelings/messy emotions, sitcom vibes
A/N: tune in next time for a special halloween episode of Table for Two!
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“We’re not at the diner right now, y’know? We can,” he pauses to find the right words, seeming to get lost in the beautiful hue of your eyes. “We can take things slow. Wanna take my time with you.”
You purse your lips as you scribble another drawing on your order pad. You’re sitting at one of the empty barstools at the counter, one leg lazily swinging back and forth while the other is brought up under you.
“You’re gonna get hip dysplasia.” Carla, your sarcastic manager, hums as she passes you. She playfully smacks you with her own order pad before she settles down beside you, a loud and tired sigh leaving her ruby-red lips. She rolls her swollen ankles, a side effect of being on her feet all day. A side effect of being alive.
Your eyes lightly screw together, eyebrows knitting in curiosity. “I thought only animals get hip dysplasia.” You trail off and watch her sit with slight confusion. She parts her lips and takes a breath before her face contorts in thought.
Finally, Carla reemerged with a new confidence. “No, baby, because my cousin- my second cousin,” she illustrates all of this with her hands. “They were born with it! I swear, look it up.”
You stifle a giggle before you both hover over your phone in search of the truth via Google. That’s when you clock the time.
Your head swivels to the wall clock and confirms it’s half an hour past five in the evening. “No Frankie tonight?” You ask, eyes still attentive to your phone as you attempt to try and hide any obvious interest or concern. Where the hell was he?
Carla eyed you up and down. Since when did you start caring if Frankie showed up for his shifts or not? She decides not to press it, clearing her throat as she moves off her barstool once she hears the doorbell chime, a new customer sauntering in.
“Just said he was under the weather. And we don’t need another sick line cook, that’s for damn sure. Everyone would be coughin’ and sneezin’ over their undercooked bacon and runny, nasty eggs.” She said with a little umph at the end for distaste.
You sigh and nibble on your thumbnail.
Frankie was a bit of an ass, but he made the shifts go by faster. Yes, even before you started fooling around, he was entertaining.
Let’s see, there was the night he tried to see how many coffee cups he could stack and if he could make a tower to the ceiling - he tried this multiple times, and each attempt left glazed ceramic shards everywhere, to which Carla made him sweep up.
There was another time the diner needed supplies, and Rudy, the owner’s son, sent you and Frankie on an errand run. He pushed you in the cart through nearly the entire store, in search of toilet paper and paper towels, dish soap, and other amenities. Frankie bought you a Redbull at the end of it.
Now, more recently, Frankie fucking pavloved you! Like a damn dog! Every time you worked a shift, you got ferociously horny. You had gotten so used to clocking in, working for a bit, then getting your needs met. And now that you had finished serving time being on your period, you were needy for what you missed while you were surfing the crimson wave.
Your foot, more anxiously now, taps against the metal stand of the barstool you were sitting on, huffing in annoyance hearing that Frankie was ill. The pit in your stomach was already coiling, searching for a release that just wouldn’t be satisfied tonight. Or would it?
You’re not in the back kitchen as much as everyone else, but as the end of your shift wound down and it was nearly ten o’clock, you decided to piece together a panini and a side of fries for Frankie. You thought about how he learned you weren’t feeling good just last week, and he knew how far a simple meal went to make you feel better. Maybe you could do the same for him. And that was it. You swear there were no ulterior motives. Just a nice coworker bringing a bite to eat.
You yank your phone from your uniform. Your fingerprints smear your phone screen with grease from the fries.
text me your address if you’re still up
frankie (work) Huh?
You have to will yourself not to roll your eyes.
read the first message again and ask me if you’re still confused
frankie (work) Okay sassy pants 194 Rivercrest Apartments #501
His stupid reply leaves a broken, twitchy smile on the right side of your mouth. Stupid asshole.
Once the restaurant closes, your clunky car takes you across town to Frankie’s apartment. Your gleamy, tired vision catches the streaks from passing cars and street lamps. You pull into a visitor parking spot and let out a disgruntled sigh as you sit in silence, waiting in your idling car.
A weird part of you is nervous. Overthinking. Was this taking it too far, helping him out while he’s sick?
You push aside any nerves and force yourself out of the car, a death grip on the doggy bag of food you had packed him. The evening Texas air tickles your bare legs, trying to adjust your uniform under your jacket after it got smushed around in the car. You buzz his number before you hear the entrance’s lock click, allowing you in.
Glancing around for an elevator is hopeless. The entrance leads you straight to a set of stairs, and you clench your jaw in annoyance. God dammit. You were not a woman who prayed to the cardio gods.
Your lungs feel strained, and your feet ache, desperate to sit down after your shift and the mild hike up to Frankie’s apartment. You rap your knuckles against his door in disdain, lips parted with a few light pants for breath as you wait. The door had a few random dents and marks, obvious trails of someone moving items in and out of the apartment over time. The numbers on his door were crooked, the paint chipped. Did he have to live in such a sketchy place? It looked like the birthplace of tetanus.
There were a few heavy footsteps on the other side before the door jangled open. And a very healthy, Frankie opened the door. Your face fell, and your eyebrows furrowed. A heavy whiff of weed smacked you in the face, and you swore it nearly gave you a contact high, even from the hallway.
Frankie was all too happy to see you here. You drove all the way to his apartment just to see him. His face was dripping in a smirky grin. He barely fit through the door frame, his large broad shoulders and tall stature filled the entire rectangular entrance. He crossed his arms and leaned one shoulder against his door. He was perfectly fucking fine.
“Hey, princess. Surprised to see you-”
Your lips purse and your eyes screw tight as you smack him with his bag of food. “What the hell-” smack, “is wrong with you! Fuckin-” smack, “asshole!”
He’s slow to defend himself at first, letting you exhaust your hits as you fist the brown paper bag in annoyance. Finally on the last hit, he swipes the bag from your hand and sighs. He’s trying to dial down his stupid smirk, but it ends up turning into this stomach-twisting, sweet smile.
You pinch the bridge of your nose and chew on the inside of your cheek. “Carla told me you were sick.”
“I am sick.” Frankie playfully defended, standing straight and shrugging his shoulders with a half-innocent smile. “Sick.. and tired of working.” He laughs at his own joke, and you bite back a smile. Such a fucking dork.
You’re at a weird standoff outside of his apartment. It’s like he’s holding your invitation to enter over your head, and out of your reach. He wants you to ask. You want him to ask. You’re both so goddamn stubborn. You cross your arms and stand straight, eyeing him down.
Frankie rolls his eyes, his smile breaking into a larger one as he grabs your wrist and pulls you inside. “So fuckin’ difficult.” You hide your smile as your face lightly glides against his chest, unintentionally inhaling his scent. By the looks of his hair, he was fresh from a shower.
Frankie closes the door behind you, and his front brushes against your back as you stand in the tiny entrance hallway to his apartment. Music was playing deeper inside.
His hands gently settle themselves on your arms, slowly coasting his warmth up and down your goosebump-covered skin. You inhale slowly, your back lightly resting back against his front. He was so easy to sink into. But then you remember how he bailed on work today, and you jut your elbow into his gut. He lets out a puff of air at the force you hit him with.
“You’re such an ass ditching work. Ditching Carla.” You say as you step away from him and invite yourself further in, exiting the dark hallway and working your way further into the apartment. “We had to make do-it-all Paul step into the kitchen. Do you know how terrifying that is? Such a dick, Frankie.”
“And you’re so sweet for bringin’ me food.” You hear him rifle through the paper bag, digging out his packaged food, and seeing him smile at the contents. “Thanks. You shouldn’t have.” He brushes past you and towards the kitchen while you stand in the living room.
You didn’t concern yourself much with Frankie up until recent events, it was odd to see his evil lair. Okay, he wasn’t evil, but you know what I mean. You take in as many important details as you can while you slowly peel off your jacket and toss it on his couch.
It’s quaint, really. He has no other furniture in the living room besides a couch, which you feel is by design. It sits perfectly opposite his mounted flatscreen. The walls are plain beige but are decorated with band and movie posters. You admire one that was purposely framed, unlike the others, with signatures. You didn’t recognize the band, but by their look, they seemed like an 80s rocker group.
Below his flatscreen was an impressive vinyl collection, a record spins, and you recognize it as the melody you initially heard upon entering. It was serene, jazzy almost.
“This is what you listen to when you’re alone?” You tease, kneeling down and flicking through a few album covers to see his taste. It was expansive, to say the least. There were only a fair few that you recognized. TOTO, ABBA, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, Metallica, a little Van Halen, and a whole lot of The Beatles.
Frankie sucks the salt from the fries off his fingers, seeing he’s already munched on half his panini. “It’s something I listen to when I’m stoned.” He half-jokes, a slight smile on his face. So that’s what he’s been up to.
“You called in so you could lay around your apartment and get high all day?” Your tone is playfully judging, but he gives you a proud nod, not a care in the world behind those slightly glazed eyes.
“I didn’t really lay around all day.” His tone is softer since you’re both so close. He’s standing just to the right of where you’re kneeling down, your head could lay against his thigh if you wanted. “I was trying out some new recipes and shit.” He mutters as he points a thumb behind him and to the kitchen. You glance up and notice his pretty curls in the light. You don’t often see him without his hat or his bandana. Come to think of it, you don’t really see him outside of his yellow-stained apron.
Your eyes slowly took Frankie in, seeing him casually for the first time outside of work was startling. He was big. Tall and broad, with squishy thighs and a soft tummy, strong arms, and defined biceps. He was comfortably relaxing in a pair of black basketball shorts that landed just above his knees, eyeing a few tattoos by the hem. On his upper half was a tattered, well-loved Lakers shirt with a small tear at the shoulder, which has since been sewn closed. He had a little bracelet on, one of those leather brown ones that twisted around his wrist, accompanied by a spherical, multicolor beaded one.
Your eyes linger for a hair too long, and now he’s already smirking at you. “Like what you see, princess?” God, that stupid fucking nickname needed a break. Heat shoots up your spine nonetheless, and you have trouble staring daggers at him like you usually would.
You huff a breath through your nose and stand up on your feet, raising your eyebrow at him. “What do you mean you trying new recipes? You can actually cook?” It sounds rude and sarcastic, but you thought Frankie just goofed around at work and cooked for the cash, not as a hobby. You slowly make your way past him, eyeing his kitchen in the process.
There are recipe books, honest to god recipe books. Big ones, small ones. Different categories of food outlined on the covers and spines. And his kitchen was a chaotic mess, with multiple cutting boards of varying sizes across his already limited counter space. There were bright-colored vegetables cut up and diced, the scraps having been tossed in a spare plastic bag sitting on the sidelines. There was an open bottle of soy sauce and another for sesame oil, a little tin of cornstarch, and diced chicken sizzling in oil on a frying pan.
You take a few steps in further, your sneakers landing on linoleum as you really smell what’s simmering in a large skillet. Mushrooms, bell peppers, green onions, broccoli, and peas are cooking in a thick sauce, coating them amidst freshly minced garlic onion. Your lips part as you inhale, and you can’t believe it. You don’t even know what it is, but it smells heavenly.
You finally have to ask, because hunger is carving a hole in your stomach. “What are you making?”
Frankie parks his hands on his hips and looks at you with knitted eyebrows. “What? You’ve never had stir fry before?”
You purse your lips and reach for the spatula, looking to Frankie for reassurance, to which he nods his head. Go for it.
You smile as the vegetables sizzle once you push them around on the pan, relishing in the attention as you allow the other less glazed vegetables to catch some heat from the burner. Frankie hums, like he’s debating something, like he’s learned something from his little experimentation. He reaches past you, his front brushing against your shoulders as he reaches around you and adds a little brownish-amber liquid to the pan. It sizzles, splashes, and dances across the different vegetables, which makes you grin.
You were never big into cooking, especially since you started working at Tommy’s Diner. You’ve seen enough grease to last a lifetime. You were fine settling in on the couch with a bowl of cereal and a glass of cheap wine. You saved making extravagant dishes for when you had a date over, and even then, that was risky.
But there was something about Frankie actually knowing how to cook cuisine that you liked. “I didn’t know you knew how to make dishes besides burgers and fries.”
He sneers and rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling the entire time and lets you continue slowly shifting the vegetables around, watching as the glaze sizzles. “I didn’t know you cared enough about me to visit me at my apartment. We’re both a bit surprised tonight.” This was your worst nightmare.
“I only came here under the impression that you were sick-”
“So you came to my aid?”
“Psh,” You huff, “You wish. But no.” You insist more forcefully, setting the spatula down and turning to face Frankie, who is all too close to you. You lose a lot of your angry traction as his hand finds your hip, feeling his fingers flip to the stovetop’s burner switch to a lower setting.
His hands navigate you away from the oven, your back flushed against his counter now. His eyes trail you, grazing over your body as his hips now plant you in one spot. You swallowed a lump in your throat, your still resisting hands planting against his chest. You can feel his cock twitch against your thigh.
You can’t explain why your fingers twitch and start to clutch his shirt, pulling him a little closer. Stupid Frankie with his goading smirk, bringing his forehead down against yours. It was so hot in his kitchen, in the middle of summer. You feel a bead of sweat sprout behind your ear and lightly glide down your neck as you flutter your eyes closed. It wasn’t often you felt your power to resist him rendered useless, but tonight you felt like he had a quite literal home-field advantage.
“You want me to stop?” He asks, voice low and lust-drenched. His leg parts purposely between yours, jutting them open and spreading what was his.
Your throat is closed off, the lack of air draining from your busy head. “I..” Your words fall off, distracted by something scampering through the living room.
“Do you have a cat?” Your eyes light up as you slink past Frankie. He found your stray of attention a bit adorable, despite being given a slight case of blue balls.
You carefully padded out of the kitchen and into the living room, using the excuse to slip off your sneakers at the entrance. The small orange cat had curled up onto Frankie’s couch by your tossed jacket from earlier, forming a perfect circle amongst all of its tangerine fluff. Its eyes were closed serenely, absent of a new presence. It was fucking adorable, in short.
Frankie was still flummoxed in the kitchen, adding the cooked chicken into the stir fry before turning the burner off and putting his masterpiece aside. “That’s Leo.” He announces, Frankie’s voice carrying annoyance that he lost a sure thing in the kitchen. Now you were cooing over his cat.
He settles two bowls on the counter and adds the stir fry to each, a few splashes of the sauce splattering around the rim of the bowl. With two forks randomly stabbed into the piles of food, he walks one of them out to you. “Could have eaten this whole thing by myself.”
You smile, taking the offering and humming as you flop on the couch, the orange tabby finally peeking its eyes open. “I don’t doubt that, so thanks for sharing.” You recognize how he had eaten the panini and fries, and he was still excited over the stir fry. Poor guy probably had the munchies like crazy.
With the kitty taking up one of Frankie’s couch cushions, he’s forced on the end with you in the middle. He sets his food aside on a spare side table and reaches for a small pipe, your breath pausing at the sight. “You want a hit?” He asks.
His face glows orange as he flicks on the lighter, spreading the flame over the green, now black, substance in the tiny bowl. He inhales, and you watch in mystification as he takes in the smoke filtering through. Your heart thumps harder in your chest, the right side of your mouth twitching up in a sly smirk.
Let’s smoke weed with Frankie Morales tonight.
He lets out a labored breath, the smoke flying loosely in the air and creating hazy grey circles that flood the ceiling before disappearing altogether. The stench fills the small apartment rather quickly.
“I get really weird dreams after I smoke.” You whisper, biting down on your lower lip as you glance down at the pipe he’s holding, a small glow still coming from the weed.
“It’s still lit if you want some.” His voice is low from smoking, and you have to clench your thighs closer together. Damn this stupid uniform, you wished you would have brought a change of clothes so you’d at least be comfy eating stir fry, petting his cat, and getting stoned with him.
He raises the piece in an offering, and you look to him for one last look of reassurance. It’s polite to be offered free weed, especially since he’s the one who paid for it. He gives you a nod and looks at you with furrowed eyebrows. Are you crazy? If you want it, take it.
So you do. And you smoke it. And you pat yourself on the back to do so without coughing. It’s a small hit, but you don’t need much, your brain already feels like it’s as light as a cloud, dancing in slow motion. You giggle by accident.
Frankie lets out a sputter of laughter, watching you get high with him is a bit comical. “Princess knows how to smoke. Kudos.”
You let out a puff of laughter through your nose and grab your warm bowl of stir fry, stabbing into a green pepper. “Shut up, Frankie.”
He ends up putting on a show you both agree on, something comical that makes you both laugh your high asses off. You eat the stir fry and almost forget Frankie is the one who made it. It was delicious, you ate everything down the the finely chopped green onions.
You both shared another hit, and you felt like you were loosening up. Any need to hold onto control slipped through your fingers. Any issues you had been dealing with drifted away. And you realized how stupidly happy you were to be beside Frankie. Trying to do anything of actual initiative went out the window after your second hit. You both found yourselves on the floor of Frankie's room, sat side by side, heads resting on the edge of his bed as you both stared up at the ceiling and spoke gibberish.
“Aliens?” He asks, your thighs brushing.
“Of course.” You hum, slowly blinking in a gentle haze. “Ghosts?”
He sighs and takes a long time to answer, which apparently offends you because you snap your head up and look at him in disbelief.
“You can’t be serious. If you believe in aliens, you have to believe in ghosts.” You argue as you stare at his fan.
He lets out a throaty groan, closes his eyes, and runs his hands down his face. His curls are pretty. They haven’t been run through a million times yet or smothered by a bandana or hat.
“I think… I do believe in ghosts. I just don’t want them to bother me.” He says, a weak smile on his face.
“What? Like you’re afraid to be haunted?” Your head lays back on the bed but rolls over, watching his profile while he continues to look up absentmindedly at the ceiling.
He’s silent for far too long. Finally, he rolls his head over to face you, your noses lightly brushing. He’s so close that looking at him feels a bit cross-eyed.
“Wait- what? Sorry.” He finally says with a broken, short laugh.
“Can you focus?” You ask teasingly, pushing your hand up against his cheek and making him stop staring at you.
You take the soft silence as an opportunity to rest your hand lightly on his thigh. He does the same, except he feels the warmth of your skin and the material of your uniform. Goosebumps form shortly after, and you smile shyly up at the ceiling.
“Have you…” You start to say but trailed off, bashfulness overcoming you.
“Have I what?” He asks. You both blink slowly as a car’s lights flash through his window only for a few seconds, lighting up the dim room before it is filled with darkness again. The moon and an orange lava lamp was the only source of glow.
You distractedly look away from him, admiring a tapestry on his wall and his soft comforter. “Have you had sex with someone high?”
He shrugs and slowly smiles before gently nodding his head against the edge of his bed. “Yeah. Have you?” His head rolls over to look at you again. You feel his warm gaze, but you just keep your eyes locked on his ceiling fan.
Warmth and a subtle shyness flush across your chest, your thighs nearly trembling in excitement. “No.” You whisper.
He doesn’t say anything, but he watches you for a few moments.
“Want to, though.” You finish, feeling a knot slowly grow in your stomach.
Frankie’s eyes flick to your long lashes, then down to warmth creeping up your neck. “Yeah?” He asks.
You gently nod, too, eyes still too shy to meet his own. “Yeah-”
He doesn’t let you get out one more syllable. His large hand comes up and meets your cheek, guiding your head to meet his gaze.
Frankie kisses you deeply but at a slow pace. And you’re feeling a desperate hunger to have him. You eagerly cup his cheeks in return and swing a leg over his lap, intensifying the kiss as your hands glide down the landscape of his clothed chest, bunching up his shirt in the process. You feel like a horny jackrabbit, but it’s really all his fault. You can feel his half-hard cock as you grind the center of your pelvis over his own, whimpering into his mouth desperately.
“Take care of me,” you whisper, and it ends up sounding a little more like a desperate, whiney plea.
Frankie’s lips part against your own, feeling the neediness of your touches. His hazy vision peers open, breaking your kiss for a moment.
“Hold on, baby,” He sits up a little bit against the bed, his eyes scanning yours with a certain deepness.
You pause, your chest heaving lightly as you regain your breath. “Frankie, come on, don’t make me beg.” You say as you lean in once more, but he catches your face and pauses your movements. You feel like a deer in headlights, static tingling in your ears as you feel a sudden rush for embarrassment. Why wasn’t he just as excited? Or eager? Or desperate? Were you the problem?
Suddenly, your eyes were dashing around for an escape. Then he speaks your name. Soft, gentle, careful. Hear him out. You swallow your pride and stay seated over his lap.
“We’re not at the diner right now, y’know? We can,” he pauses to find the right words, seeming to get lost in the beautiful hue of your eyes. “We can take things slow. Wanna take my time with you.”
You can’t help but let an awkward chuckle escape between you, eyes having a hard time meeting his. You playfully scoff and smack his shoulder lightly to regain a sense of control. “Shut up, Frankie.”
His head cocks, and he looks at you with that stupid fucking smirk. “You don’t know how to take it slow, do you?”
His words antagonize you, and your eyes light with fire. A defensive fire, because he was right.
Slow meant feelings, slow meant experiencing, slow meant bonding. You weren’t slow. Sex was supposed to be fast, hot, desperate, counting down the seconds until a sweet escape, racing to an orgasm, chasing it like a fever dream. You weren’t good at slow.
You hate that Frankie has learned this about you. Giving up the upper hand wasn’t in your caliber. And you find yourself frowning as you look down at him once his smirk washes away. He’s looking at you like he cares. Even with you both stoned, brain’s hazy and light, he sees through all that and looks at you like he gives a damn.
He lightly shrugs his shoulders and softens the hold he has on your face, his thumb gently stroking along your cheekbone. “Can show you.”
Hesitancy screams across your blank face, but he reads you better than anyone else. He speaks your name, more genuinely explaining his offer. “Let me teach you.”
You let out a gentle sigh, slowly giving in to temptation. Because having him at all was better than not. So you take it slow. Frankie teaches you zen. Teaches you how to melt.
One of his hands falls from your cheek and lands on your waist, gently stroking your hip in a soothing slow circle. It feels like heaven.
His brown orbs dip close, and you let him take the lead. He kisses you tenderly, soft. His tongue lines your lower lip once he’s ready to lightly increase the intensity, begging your mouth for permission to part. If it was any other night, your tongue would be down his throat, and you’d be a grinding, sloppy mess in his lap. Let him teach you.
You take a deep breath in as your tongues tangle.
It almost makes you giggle again, because it feels stupid, but you sort of like it.
His stubble brushes your face, and you fight to release a moan. Frankie’s hand on your hip shuffles to your lower back, and you feel him add pressure. Your chest meets his, and you let yourself melt into him. His strong torso easily keeps you both up. Your heavy breaths hit the room, and you force yourself to pull away for air, despite how much you enjoy making out with him. He grins at the sight of satisfying you.
Frankie pushes a stray hair that’s fallen out from your loose ponytail behind your ear, smiling as his hands move to the back of your uniform. This will be the first time he actually undresses you properly, not just shoving the material up past your ass so he has access to your pussy.
“You know how to work the zipper?” You playfully ask as you settle your head on his shoulder, taking the slower moments to breathe and relax.
He stuffs down a chuckle and nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I think so. Am I doing it right?” He asks as he guides the zipper down your back, feeling your flesh exposed to the rest of his room.
You purse your lips and slowly sit up in his lap, watching him take in a deep inhale as your centers brush lightly. You hide your coy smile as his eyes light with excitement, but he’s made a point to be slow with you. You guide the sleeves of your uniform down to your hips, exposing your breasts to him. Giggles leave your mouth as you wiggle out the last bit of your dress, Frankie is more than happy to help you.
“I’m feeling a little alone here.” Your voice is soft, tugging at his shirt before you push it up just past his pecs. Your high ass got a little distracted, staring at the hair sprinkled in dark trails across his torso, feeling him struggle in his shirt as he laughed.
“Focus, princess,” his arms tangle with his shirt before he tosses it off, especially since you started slacking. You shyly smile and flutter your eyes down to his warm body as your hands explore the landscape for the first time. You had yet to undress each other like this, you sort of liked it, especially with this whole slow and steady thing going for you both.
Frankie leans back against the bed, admiring the sight before him. You feel a little awkward, goosebumps rushing up your arms as you shyly smile and playfully push his face away. “Stop staring, perv. You’ve never seen a pair of tits before?”
He’s quick. “Not a pair that nice.”
You smile and crack out a laugh, knowing sex has never felt this casual before. No pressure. Good vibes. And it’s not just because of the weed. It’s because it’s Frankie. And he looks at you like you put the sun in the sky and you could do no wrong. But then he starts staring at your tits, and you realize he’s just another guy.
His hands caress your waist, thumbs dipping into the curves and appreciating the way they run up you like beautiful rivers. You decide to do the same. Your hands slip lower, letting his happy trail guide you to his black mesh basketball shorts. His rough and calloused hands cup your tits, taking them in his palms and giving you a tentative squeeze. He’s figuring you out, what you like, what makes you squirm and whine. As soon as he pinches your nipples between his thumbs and pointer fingers, a broken gasp is elicited from your mouth.
“Shit,” you curse breathily. Everything was a bit heightened right now, including your sensitivity. It felt like a million little strums were being played, making your spine shiver and your head grow foggy. And you were determined to make him feel the same way.
You bite down on your lower lip, fishing your hand into his shorts and fisting a hand around his already hardening cock. A smirk tangles on your lips as he lets out an earthy grunt, low to the ground and heaven to your ears.
You start a bit fast, eager to please, wanting to see him tremble for your touch.
His lips meet yours in a distracting manner, rocking your steady pace. “Slow.” He murmurs against your lips, and you gently nod, a shy smile spreading from embarrassment.
“Slow.” You whisper, your lips brushing his. Your ego trips on the power you have over him, fisting him, his heavy length weighing in your hand. You couldn’t even fully wrap your fingers around him, he was all just… girth. Your body ached for him, needy for the feeling only he could satisfy by being inside of you. His tip trickles with precum, and a low moan drips off his tongue like honey. It fuels you.
“Spit on my cock, princess.” He grunts out, his face leaning in to capture one of your nipples in your mouth. You squeak lightly in excitement before doing just as he asks of you.
You angle your head over your centers, letting a long line of saliva puddle down onto him. It meets the strokes of your hand, and Frankie’s jaw twitches as he squeezes your breasts involuntarily harder. You let out a long whine as your nipples form peaks between his fingers, feeling your heart thrum against your chest.
Frankie likes how you look on top. Back arched, chest pushed up, messy hair falling loose, eyes lit with an eagerness and curiosity for him to teach you the method of going slow. Admiration mixed with respect. He feels like he’s dreaming.
All he can imagine is you like this, bodies in sync, riding his cock. Tight walls milking his cock for everything he has. His skin becomes riddled with goosebumps, thinking about your nails digging into his chest, your tits rocking up and down, how he would tumble out moans of your name and squeeze your hips with adoration. Yeah, he’d like to see that one day.
He’s not sure how much longer he can last with merely your hand on him.
“C’mere, baby.”
A gasp of surprise jumps from your throat before you can stop it, Frankie managing to stand up off the ground, wrapping your legs around his waist for security. His strength, how easily he lifts you and shuffles you around like a ragdoll spurs white hot heat in your stomach. You were going to fuck him good if you ever got past the going slow part.
His smirky mouth meets yours in a hot kiss, one heavier than before. Like he’s needy for you. Your eyes melt closed as your fingers wind into the pretty curls that were formed at the nape of his neck. Your back meets his mattress and blankets, your fingers dance along the pattern, your high mind hypnotized seeing Frankie on top of you.
His body rests between your parted legs. You whimper into his mouth, feeling his hardened cock resting against your core.
“Take my fucking panties off,” you beg more than you mean to.
Frankie tries not to sneer. His teeth capture your lower lip, and you mewl out a moan before he lets you go.
“To hell with going slow.”
You hastily nod, feeling his fingers grip your panties at either side of your hips before he shuffles them down. You whine with how the sticky center stays latched to your core, he gently peels it loose with a hellish smirk.
Frankie’s heart thrums against his chest and echoes into his ears. Hearing you desperate for his touch was heaven, he felt undeserving to have such an angel vying for his attention. “So wet f’me, barely touched you, princess.”
He discards your panties to the side, off on the floor with the rest of the clothing you both have shed. You’re completely naked together, makes you a little nervous.
Frankie promised to speed up, but you’re finding harmony in the way his soft lips trail down your body, leaving wet prints between the valley of your breasts to the soft skin of your stomach. Your breaths come out heavier, thighs shaking as he drops back down to kneel at the edge of the bed. His hands grip your thighs and yank you impatiently closer to his eager mouth. You whimper as your body is shuffled closer, your fists that were clutching the sheets being torn away.
You giggle as your thighs shake around his head, feeling those perfect kisses move between the warmth of your legs.
“Fuck,” you finally let out, excitement seeping through your bones. Frankie’s stubble drags across the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs, and again, you feel that heightened sensitivity that makes your stomach roll.
Frankie decides that dragging out the teasing is enough. He wanted to taste you, every mile, every inch, every centimeter.
Your core glistens in his eyeline, begging to be touched, kissed, fucked. He can’t help but dive in. His dopey brown eyes meet yours as his face disappears lower and lower before he’s past the valley of your tits, and all you can see when you crane your neck are those mocha brown eyes.
His tongue tastes you, and divides your folds, as he laps up your juices.
The feeling is exhilarating, like the rise and fall of a roller coaster.
A gasp riddles its way up through your throat, concaves your chest, and your pupils blow wide in excitement. Frankie enjoys your taste but aims to pleasure. His mouth latches onto your sensitive clit and suckles, his tongue intervening every few swipes to flick across your clit. Rise.
His large hands grip the outside of your thighs, pinning your lower half to his mattress, and lapping over you in a heated race to the finish line. Your face contorts in pleasure, fingers drifting down your stomach before you wind them in Frankie’s hair. He growls against your pussy, you’ve never felt your blood pump faster. Fall.
“Fucking- Christ,” you push out, gripping his hair strands tighter and making him grunt hot heat against your core. “Feels so fucking good- oh my god,”
He pulls away for a breath and sucks a love bite into the sensitive flesh of your thigh until it swells pink and purple. One of his hands on your outer thighs wraps around the shell of your body, playing with your clit. He slowly shakes his head as he looks at you. You wonder if he shares your hazy vision. The pleasure makes you feel like you’re seeing double.
“Christ isn’t making you feel good,” his words make you whimper, “I am.”
You quickly nod, but you realize your body can’t move quickly under the influence. You’re just hazily bobbing your head, your hand in his hair dropping to his strong bicep.
“Frankie, I need you,” you plead as you gently sit up on your elbows and cup his cheek, wiping your glistening slick off his pretty bottom lip. “Need you inside of me.” You whisper, a desperate look splashed across your face.
You hated how much power he had over you. He almost just made you cum from playing with your clit. You need him biblically, fully, flesh and blood, blood to bone. It was carnal, primal.
He doesn’t need much further convincing. Frankie preferred to pull an orgasm from going down on you, but he listened to your needs and what you wanted.
His lips meet yours in a hungry kiss, working you further up the bed and letting you collapse into his pillows. Your eyes catch the sight of a dream catcher while his tongue tangles with yours. You flush at the taste of your own arousal. That’s when you realize his hand is still between your thighs and working soothing circles into your clit.
You whimper as he adds a tad bit more pressure, and you feel the white-hot heat of adrenaline making your stomach pool even more excitement into your tummy.
“Frankie,” you whisper softly, and his forehead rests over yours while he guides his shaft to your center.
He lines his tip up and down between your folds, your jaw dropping as he sickeningly uses your slick to lube himself. He lets his entire shaft rest against your sex, and he does slow thrusts back and forth, lining his entire cock with you. Holy fuck. A shiver was sent up your spine, goosebumps parading across your body.
Your chest swelled for him.
“What do you say?” He asks in a taunt, knowing how weak you are.
You huff and move your hands up his arms and hang them loosely around his shoulders. He complies in moving in closer.
“Please.” You finally admit between gritted teeth, which makes him grin.
“Alright, princess,” his forehead now rests against your temple, cocking his chin down to get a better angle of your centers. He guides his tip to your entrance, slow and patient, before he notches himself inside of you.
Your eyelashes flutter, and you watch as his eyes clench closed. He likes to act all tough like he wouldn’t fold for you, but you know he would time and time again without having to say more than a simple please.
Both of you share unsteady breaths. It feels like a dam is giving way inside your chest.
Frankie thinks how he has never been inside a tighter pussy, squeezing the last bits of air from his lungs.
Your walls pulsate around the intrusion, but your dripping core and his wet tongue from earlier allowed him to slowly push in, inch by inch.
You swallow a lump in your throat. You don’t realize your eyes are closed, and you're gripping him around the neck to keep him close until he sponges a soft kiss to your cheek.
“Alright?” He forces out. It’s like you’re choking him, and it makes you twitch up a smile.
“Mhm,” you muster up, feeling his chest rumble lightly with laughter.
“Baby,” he whispers, and your chest surges at the pet name. “Can’t breathe.” Oh, shit. You damn near had him in a headlock.
You loosen your grip around his neck, shyly smiling as your desperate hands look for something to ground you.
Frankie stays flushed inside you but shifts to be more centered over your body, gently resting his forehead just above yours.
“C’mere,” he whispers before he takes your hands. You decide not to question why he interlocks your fingers. But it feels safe, and you’re still high, so you’ll blame any poor decision-making on that.
“Fuck me,” you finally grit out, desperate for him to just fucking, “Move.”
Your whine is met by him reeling back his hips, only for him to plow right back into you at an unforgiving rate. A gasp ripples through your throat, and you feel like screaming. Your entire goddamn body was on fire with the way his girth parted your walls, splitting you open. You let out a string of whimpery moans, and your eyes glared desperate daggers into him.
“S’what you wanted, right?” He grunts out, jaw tight, pretty curls falling limply in front of his eyes and crowding his forehead. “You wanna be fucked hard, is that it?” He can barely speak authoritatively, you’re squeezing him like your last lifeline.
But he’s right. Tears cloud your vision, and you weakly nod as desperate puffs of air leave your pretty parted lips. “Yes,” you squeak out, relaxing your hips so Frankie falls into you more.
“Feels so fucking good, can’t-” An eager cry leaves your lips as he pulls himself out, just to thrust right back in and rocking you further up his bed. Your chin tips to the ceiling as you curse every god, man, woman, whoever the hell created Frankie Morales.
“Can’t what, princess?” His tone is lower, sinister even as your walls twitch around him but only gush out more arousal for his cock to slide in and out of you.
You find it hard to string together syllables. So he squeezes your hands that you’re holding for dear life. He stills inside of you until you answer.
“Shit,” you whimper.
“Can’t what, angel?” He probes again, cocky asshole waiting for his answer.
You whimper and peek open your eyes. The right side of his face is highlighted silver from the moon, your hazy vision thinks he looks like an angel. His hand wanders between your centers and finds your throbbing clit, making you cry out the answer. Your face crumbles as you own up to what you need to say.
“Fuck! Fuck, Frankie! Can’t go without your dick,” you pant out as he subtly rocks into you at a good pace upon your confession. “Can’t even go- can’t even go a week without it,” you admit in defeat.
That stupid, cocky smirk of his graces his parted lips. It’s crooked and perfect, and he’s fucking you like your life depends on it. Because it does, you think.
His thighs clap against your ass, pounding you into the bed, drilling you into place, suffocating the air from your lungs.
Your vision goes hazy, seeing white, then rainbow, then stars. They cloud your vision, and you’re not sure if you’re still high off the weed anymore. Or just high off Frankie.
You whimper strings of his name tangled with profanity, he’s still filling you to the brim. It once seethed hot with pain, but now your stomach is contorting in pleasure. It’s like he knows exactly how to crack your vault, penetrating your walls, unlocking something deep inside of you that no one else manages to know the code.
His messy fingers continue to circle your clit, and you know your end is coming.
Frankie’s grunting with every thrust, moaning a symphony of your name every chance he gets. He likes holding your hand, resting his sweaty forehead against your own, listening to you beg for his cock, for your finish. It’s the only thing he wants to give you. He’d be at your every beck and call if you let him. He wouldn’t mind if the only thing he ever got was a fraction of your praise.
Frankie’s thighs clap against your ass, the sound echoes around his bedroom. If his neighbors didn’t know his name, they did now.
“Fuck! Frankie!” You cry out, feeling every inch of his cock massage your insides. His tip kisses your cervix, and your jaw drops. Nothing more comes out of your mouth, so your blown-out eyes do all the talking.
I’m so fucking close.
“I know, baby, feels good, doesn’t it?” He grunts as his balls slap against you. “Feels good having my fat fucking cock inside you, huh?”
You shake under him, your thighs clench around his hips, and you pray to the gods for making Frankie. You take back what you thought before, you need him.
You don’t care that he’s a little older, that he’s an asshole, that he eggs you on.
Because in the shelter of his bedroom, locked in your embrace, he swallows your name and persuades you into pleasure, time and time again.
Your clit tingles, and your walls furiously clench around him. Finally, your mouth finds words to try and elaborate on what you’ve been holding inside.
“Fucking- shit! Fuck me harder, right there- fuck me, Frankie! God- I’m coming!” You cry out as his pants fill your space, fanning across your face. He fucks you harder and faster as you near your orgasm, wanting to help you reach it. And he gets you there.
Your back arches, and he groans lowly as he stills inside of you. It’s almost beautiful the way you cum in unison.
Your hands hold his tighter, and he reciprocates by squeezing gently. I’m right here, I’m here, baby.
You’re not sure how long you lay there, still. Your hips get a little achy. He feels you twitch and knows it's time to let you go.
A gentle whimper leaves you as he pulls out. You feel a bit empty, a little cold.
His sweet laughter makes you peek open your eyes. He’s trying to move out from around you, but you haven’t let go of his hands.
You shyly let go, and both of you squeeze your hands to flex the knotted muscles and stiff knuckles. You close your legs and lightly curl up. He doesn’t come to rest, he gently pats your outer thigh once or twice before he disappears to his bathroom.
You think he couldn’t have been gone for more than thirty seconds, but he comes back in a fresh pair of boxers and his basketball shorts, his tanned torso still exposed for your viewing.
“Frankie,” he pauses like a deer in headlights as he stands up from grabbing your panties. “I’m gonna… spill.” You finally pitch out, a bit embarrassed.
“Oh,” he says, feeling like an idiot. He circles back to the bathroom and grabs a towel and a wet washcloth.
“Sorry, my brain is all-” he starts to say, but you quickly shake your head.
“I know me too. S’okay.” You whisper with a smile as you weakly sit up on your elbows. The record playing in the living room had stopped. He shimmies the towel under your hips before he aids you with a clean washcloth.
Feels too domestic, so you take over, much to his annoyance. You wrap yourself in the towel once you’re done, and sit up to retrieve your uniform. You dread putting it on.
“Can I take the towel for the way home? My underwear is still too..” you trail off. Soaking wet was the words you would have used.
Frankie’s face screws up in confusion, his eyebrows knitting together.
“You’re going home?”
Now your expressions match. “Yeah?” It sounds more like a guess than a statement. “What else would I do?”
Frankie shifts back and forth on his feet before he sits down beside you on the bed. “Dunno. Stay here.”
You take in a hesitant breath, and he feels it. “You shouldn’t drive home, you know. You’re stoned. And tired. Don’t need you falling asleep at the wheel or some shit.”
You frown. Staying here does sound nice. Thinking about going down those five flights of stairs with your jelly legs sounds like a walk to hell.
But there’s a certain rule about sleeping over. One you don’t want to cross. You and Frankie are just fooling around. Nothing more.
“I don’t know, Frankie.” You say with a small frown, tightening the towel around you even more. His sullen look deepens at your words. He doesn’t want to overly convince you. If you want to go, he doesn’t want to stand in your way.
You chew on your bottom lip and weigh your options. You don’t want to go down the stairs. You’re tired as fuck, and you don’t want to get pulled over or something else. And you really don’t want to put your uniform back on. And you want to stop trying to put issues in your own way when you really just want to stick around. But the decision is made for you.
“Stay.”
Your eyes meet his. He’s more certain now, going after what he wants.
“Stay the night, it won’t kill you. I’ll get you something more comfortable to wear, and you can just…” he trails off and shrugs.
“Stay?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. He nods.
You sigh loudly but inevitably smile as you point to his closet. “I need a shirt. Please.”
A big smile glides across his face, and you can’t believe you’re the one who put it there.
“Alright, princess, whatever you say.” He squeezes your thigh and stands up, his back to you as he fishes through his closet and smells a few shirts to see how clean they are.
You roll your eyes and sigh as you fall back into his pillows.
You change into something clean, you hope it’s clean, and end up curling into a protective ball under his covers.
His cat, Leo, circles up by your feet, and you coo, gently stroking the pretty fur along his back. Frankie retrieves two glasses filled with water and hands you one. You instantly take a few gulps before your hand gently strokes down the shirt he���s put you in. It swims a bit on you, but you like it. The hem hangs at your thighs.
“Can you get in here?” You ask impatiently. “M’getting chilly.” You whisper with a coy smile.
Frankie blows out a few candles in his living room and finishes putting away any leftover stir fry.
Your high has worn off, and now you’re just a sleepy little thing. A long shift plus getting railed would be your new nighttime sleep aid.
Now that the apartment is drenched in darkness, he pulls back the covers and moves in beside you. Cuddling was not an option. He spoons you, yanking you halfway across the bed and out of your little ball. His warm flesh meets your back, and you hum at the feeling. He was a furnace. His head settles above yours, you feel the stubble gently poke at your hair. Your eyes are already closed as his arm wraps around your waist, an affirming hand settling on your tummy. He must need skin-to-skin contact because his hand slips under the shirt he’s put on you and settles on the warm skin by your belly button.
You let out a short little laugh. “You do this with all the girls you sleep with?”
“No.” He quickly says, and your eyes peek open.
“No?” You ask curiously.
“No. Just all my coworkers I sleep with.” You roll your eyes and reach around to slap the back of your hand against his hip, forcing out a chuckle from him.
“M’kidding.” He somehow pulls you closer. Your head rests comfortably on his bicep, the cold tip of your nose warmed by his flesh.
Questions pour out of your stupid brain. Were you the only one he was sleeping with? If you weren’t, who else was there? Was this normal to him, cuddling after a friends-with-benefits situation? Did Frankie want something more?
You sigh and close your eyes, attempting to shut off your brain as your finger lazily draws shape on his forearm.
He murmurs a goodnight against the shell of your ear. You blame how happy and comfortable you are right now on his cat. And it somewhat makes you feel better. You never pictured falling asleep beside your coworker, let alone Frankie Morales.
Sleep eventually overcomes you. You dream of Frankie sitting in a bowl of stir fry like a hot tub.
---
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The 2023 Yuri Guide - Anime
Your ultimate guide to the best Yuri content with over 200 curated titles from every genre and medium.
Adachi and Shimamura
• School • Slice of Life • Romance • Friends to Lovers • Slow burn
Adachi and Shimamura's days of skipping school offer a new world to explore. But as these delinquents bond, unexpected emotions begin to blossom. Now if they could just admit how they feel…
Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub/Dub)
BIRDIE WING -Golf Girls' Story-
• Sports • Comedy • Drama
Eve is an underground golfer who supports poor street orphans with the money she makes from illegal golfing matches. But her life is about to change forever when she meets a young golfer who's just arrived from Japan...
Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)
The Executioner and Her Way of Life
• Action • Fantasy • Isekai • Enemies to Lovers
When Menou, an Executioner of deadly interdimensional “Lost Ones,” encounters a Lost One named Akari who can cheat death, she sets out on a mission to kill the unkillable girl — but her newly stirring feelings might get in the way of her blade.
Streaming on HIDIVE (Sub/Dub)
Flip Flappers
• Fantasy • Action • Magical Girl • Love at First Sight
Cocona’s world is turned upside down with the appearance of Papika. They set off on an adventure in “Pure Illusion.” In the pursuit of the “Shards of Mimi,” obstacles arise, and the shards enable them to transform.
Streaming on HIDIVE (Sub/Dub)
If My Favorite Pop Idol Made it to the Budokan, I Would Die
• Comedy • Music • Multiple Couples • Love at First Sight
Two years ago, super-fan Eripiyo was hypnotized by Maina Ichii and her pop group ChamJam. Now Eri dreams of seeing her favorite group make it big, to the Budokan arena! Her passionate desire consumes money and time—but no cost is too high. This is fandom!
Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub/Dub)
Inugami-san to Nekoyama-san
• School • Slice of Life • Comedy • Multiple Couples
A mutual friend introduces Yachiyo Inugami, a dog-like girl who loves cats, and Suzu Nekoyama, a cat-like girl who loves dogs. The girls find themselves drawn in by their opposite traits and the most outlandish relationship starts to take form in this wild comedy that will have you barking (and meowing?) with laughter.
Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)
The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady
• Fantasy • Romance • Comedy • Isekai
When noblewoman Euphyllia is unjustly stripped of her title as the kingdom’s next monarch, the buffoonish Princess Anisphia takes it upon herself to right this wrong. Despite being taken for a fool ’cause of her silly antics, Anisphia is a magic genius, and she has a plan to help Euphyllia regain her good name. But little do they know—their encounter will alter the kingdom and the entire world! Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)
Maria Watches Over Us
• School • Slice of Life • Senpai/Kouhai • Multiple Couples
Students at Lillian Girls’ Academy become “soeurs” to support each other during their time at school. Shy Yumi Fukuzawa never thought she’d attract a soeur like the beautiful Sachiko Ogasawara, but Sachiko has unexpectedly set her sights on Yumi!
Streaming on HIDIVE (sub)
Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury
• Sci-Fi • Mecha • Action • School • Drama • Marriage
A.S. (Ad Stella) 122― An era when a multitude of corporations have entered space and built a huge economic system. A lone girl from the remote planet Mercury transfers to the Asticassia School of Technology, run by the Beneritt Group which dominates the mobile suit industry. Her name is Suletta Mercury. With a scarlet light burning in her pure heart, this girl walks step by step through a new world.
Streaming on Crunchyroll (sub/dub)
Otherside Picnic
• Action • Sci-FI • Horror • Slow Burn
Moments from death, Sorawo is saved by the mysterious Toriko in the world of the Otherside. Entranced by its beauty, she discovers that this dimension is inhabited by monsters once thought imaginary. Joining with Toriko in her search for a missing friend, they set out to explore this nightmare realm and maybe make a little money. What they encounter could bring enlightenment—or drive them mad!
Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub/Dub)
Puella Magi Madoka Magica
• Fantasy • Magical Girl • Horror • Tragedy • Fated Lovers • Multiple Couples
Madoka Kaname is an average 14-year-old girl who loves her family and friends. One fateful day, this all changes when she has a very magical encounter with a strange creature called a Kyubey. Kyubey have the power to grant one wish to chosen girls. However, in exchange, those chosen must become magical girls and use their powers to fight against witches, evil creatures born from darkness and catalysts of despair. Was this encounter by chance or fate? No matter the circumstance, this will surely change her destiny.
Movies Beginnings and Eternal retell this legendary and dark fantasy story with new and retouched animation and voice acting. The sequel film Rebellion follows Homura, unable to let her memories die, the magical girl continues to fight alone in the world that Madoka left behind, dreaming of meeting that nostalgic smiling face one more time...
TV - Streaming on Crunchyroll/Hulu (Sub) Films licensed by Aniplex of America
Revue Starlight
• School • Action • Drama • Weak Yuri
Childhood friends Karen and Hikari promised that they would one day become the next theatrical stars. Years later, the two finally have their chance during a mysterious audition, but they are not the only ones who have trained for this moment.
Streaming on HIDIVE (Sub/Dub)
Riddle Story of Devil (Akuma no Riddle)
• School • Action • Enemies to Lovers • Multiple Couples • Love at First Sight
Twelve female assassins are sent to a prestigious boarding school to compete against each other in a secret killing game. The winner will be granted anything her heart desires, but only one girl can come out on top. The mission is simple: send fellow student Haru Ichinose to an early grave. The task should be easy for heartless assassin, Toukaku Azuma – but everything changes when she finds herself strangely drawn to her naive target. Her decision to use her lethal skills to keep her new friend alive will raise the stakes of the game and push the girls closer together as the other beauties threaten to tear them apart.
Streaming on Funimation (Sub/dub)
Sakura Trick
• School • Slice of Life • Comedy • Friends to Lovers • Multiple Couples
Best friends Haruka and Yu are about to take their relationship from friendship to something more when they share a kiss! But when one kiss becomes two and three, how will their relationship change?
Streaming on HIDIVE (Sub)
Strawberry Panic
• School • Drama • Romance • Senpai/Kouhai • Multiple Couples • Love at First Sight
Nagisa has just transferred to a prestigious all-girls school that happens to share a campus with two other elite academies for young women. The new surroundings are overwhelming but Nagisa quickly adapts to life in Strawberry Hall with the help of her new friends. However, when Nagisa catches the eye of the mysterious Shizuma, the respected representative of all three schools, both their lives are forever changed. A bond beyond mere friendship develops between the two ladies amidst a chaotic school year full of heated conflicts, petty jealousies, and crossed boundaries.
Streaming on Crunchyroll/RetroCrush (Sub)
Sweet Blue Flowers
• School • Romance • Drama • Friends to Lovers
Fumi Manjoume enters Kamakura's accelerated high school - Matsuoka All-Girls High School. While waiting at the Kamakura station on the day of her entrance ceremony, she runs into an old childhood friend whom she had not seen in 10 years: Akira Okudaira. As their friendship is rekindled and they start falling back into the rhythm of friends again, it starts a delicate love story...
Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)
Volicia of Pluto
• Action • Indie • Sci-Fi • Mecha
In 2006, Akiko Hoshigami’s dreams of track-and-field stardom are dashed after a leg injury. She enters high school with her best friend, Ayano Umisoe, and between club activites and meeting new friends, the empty Akio begins to resember her former self. Until one day, Ayano suddenly dissapears.
Streaming on YouTube (Sub)
Yurikuma Arashi
• School • Drama • Sci-Fi • Enemies to Lovers • Multiple Couples
In a world divided between humans and hyper-intelligent, man-eating bears, Kureha attends an all-girls school and holds onto a simple wish—to spend the rest of her life with her classmate and soul mate, Sumika. But after a secret rendezvous ends in tragedy, Kureha vows to never back down on her love and put a bullet in any bear she meets.
Streaming on Funimation (Sub/Dub)
YuruYuri
• School • Slice of Life • Comedy • Multiple Couples
Four students decide to occupy the room of the defunct tea ceremony club, dubbing it the ‘Amusement Club.’ While the Student Council does its best to eliminate this club, their endless energy, happiness, and comedy will keep audiences smiling all season long!
Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)
Read More of the 2023 Yuri Guide
⚪ Must See ⚪ Light Novel ⚪ Manga ⚪ Visual Novels ⚪ Webtoons
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