#and that’s it. endless bittersweet moments
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hsnlv · 5 hours ago
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promised & found | s.jy
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req!: also if you're taking requests...idk i've been thinking abt idol jake and famous reader (modeling or singing or whatever?) and they're like...childhood besties, lost contact, but then they meet again after becoming famous 😗😗😗😗
pairing: idol!jake x idol!reader
synopsis: years after losing touch with her childhood best friend, now fellow idol sim jake, a chance backstage encounter brings buried memories and unspoken feelings rushing back.
others: use of pet name (muffin). and honestly, it is supposed to be platonic (i think) but i cant help it, im a hopeless romantic :(
wc: 1.2k
a/n: a little side note, i cant vividly imagine what you guys might have in mind everytime you request something (im sorry </3) but i will my best to deliver it as smoothly and as ‘make sense’ (?) as possible! i dont know if this requires fluff, angst, suggestive (which i dont really like to write), but yet again, i’ll try to deliver every request as smoothly and as ‘make sense’ as possible! any feedback is highly appreciated too! happy reading💗 here’s my masterlist!
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you’re stunned, absolutely frozen. every word that could describe your current state—speechless, shocked, dazed—falls short.
you had heard about the newly debuted boy group, the one everyone was buzzing about. but with your packed schedule, endless practices, and back-to-back performances, you barely had time to breathe, let alone catch up on industry gossip.
but now, standing just a few feet away from you, was someone who looked like a memory brought to life.
the soft, slightly whiny voice. the chestnut-brown hair that curled slightly at the ends. the gaze—sharp yet gentle, just as you remembered. it had to be him.
and before you could stop yourself, his name slipped from your lips like it was second nature.
“sim jaeyun.”
he turned, his eyes landing on you, widening in recognition. and then, as if time hadn’t passed at all, his face broke into a grin.
“muffin?”
hearing that nickname again was like reopening an old wound. years of carefully buried emotions began to resurface, sharp and bittersweet.
“yun?” you managed, your voice wavering as your heart threatened to beat out of your chest.
he looked at you like you were something out of a dream, his eyes scanning your face as if committing every detail to memory. “it’s really you,” he said softly, his voice laced with wonder.
you smiled, the corners of your lips trembling. “it’s really me.”
“what are you doing here? don’t tell me you’re one of the performers.”
you nodded, suddenly shy under his gaze. “didn’t know you actually went through with becoming famous,” you said, trying to keep your tone light even as your emotions threatened to overwhelm you.
he chuckled, the sound so familiar it made your chest ache. “didn’t know you did, either. weren’t you the kid who once froze during the school talent show because you forgot the words to your own song?”
you rolled your eyes, the teasing instantly easing some of the tension. “yeah, well, people change.”
“you can say that again,” he murmured, his eyes softening as they lingered on you.
years ago
“yun, is it final? you’re really moving?”
your voice was quiet, shaky—almost pleading. you didn’t want to believe it. couldn’t.
he sighed, his shoulders slumping as he looked anywhere but at you. “as much as i hate it…”
you waited, holding your breath, even though you already knew the answer.
“yeah. it’s final.”
“but, yun…”
“muffin,” he said softly, using that nickname that once made you smile but now only made your chest tighten.
you hated it at that moment. it was too light, too playful, too much him.
“can’t you just… stay? with me?” your voice cracked, and you bit the inside of your cheek, determined not to cry. “i don’t have anyone else but you.”
he finally looked at you then, his expression torn, his eyes shining with something that looked too much like guilt. “you think this is easy for me? you’re my best friend. leaving you is the last thing i want to do. but i don’t have a choice. my family needs this.”
you wanted to scream, to tell him that you needed him too. but deep down, you knew he was right. and that didn’t make it hurt any less.
“promise me,” you said after a long pause, your voice barely above a whisper. “promise me we won’t lose touch.”
his hand found your shoulder, warm and grounding. “i promise. calls, texts, video chats—you name it. you’re stuck with me, muffin.”
you swallowed the lump in your throat, nodding. “you better mean it. because if you forget about me, i’ll—”
“you’ll what?” he teased, the corners of his lips twitching into a small smile.
“i’ll fly to australia and make you regret it,” you shot back, trying to match his playful tone.
he laughed, the sound a little shaky. “deal. but that won’t happen, okay? i couldn’t forget you if i tried.”
but promises, no matter how heartfelt, are fragile things. the calls became less frequent. the texts dwindled. until, eventually, there was nothing. and all you had left of him was the memory of his laugh and the nickname you couldn’t bear to hear again.
back to the present
“you’re really here,” he said, breaking the silence. “famous idol and all. i should’ve known you’d make it big.”
“funny,” you said, raising an eyebrow. “i could say the same about you. i didn’t even know you wanted this.”
he shrugged, a sheepish grin tugging at his lips. “i didn’t, at first. but one day, i was watching kpop idols performing, and suddenly i thought, hey, maybe i could do that.”
“and here i thought you were going to take over the family business,” you teased, crossing your arms.
“well, surprise.” he gestured at himself dramatically. “instead of suits and ties, you get… this.”
you laughed, the sound easing the knot in your chest. “you make it sound so easy. meanwhile, i nearly quit a hundred times.”
“you?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up. “the same girl who made me sing ‘do you wanna build a snowman’ at your birthday party? that girl almost quit?”
“okay, but that was different,” you argued, your cheeks flushing at the memory. “i had you to blame if it went horribly.”
“and yet, look at you now,” he said, his voice softening as his gaze settled on you. “center stage. killing it.”
“you’re not so bad yourself, yun,” you said quietly. “i’m proud of you.”
his expression shifted, something unspoken passing between you. “i missed you,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
your chest tightened. “me too.”
“i tried to find you,” he said, his tone a mix of frustration and regret. “but you don’t use social media, and… i don’t know. i thought maybe you didn’t want to be found.”
“it wasn’t that,” you said quickly. “life just… got in the way. and i didn’t think you’d still—”
“still what?”
“still care,” you finished softly, looking down.
he reached out, his fingers brushing against yours. “are you kidding? muffin, i never stopped caring. not for a second.”
his words hit you like a wave, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes.
“i regret it,” you whispered. “losing touch with you. i should’ve tried harder.”
“hey,” he said gently, his thumb lightly brushing the back of your hand. “we both could’ve tried harder. but we’re here now, right?”
you nodded, your lips curling into a small, hesitant smile. “yeah. we are.”
“so, how about a fresh start?” he asked, his grin returning. “friends again? or do i need to buy your forgiveness first?”
“a fresh start, huh?” you said, pretending to think. “well, if we’re doing that, you at least owe me coffee for all the years you were MIA.”
he laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “coffee? muffin, i’ll buy you coffee every day if it means i get to make it up to you.”
“bold words, sim jaeyun.”
“what can i say?” he said, smirking. “i’m committed to the cause.”
“we’ll see about that,” you teased, but your voice softened as you added, “just don’t disappear again, okay? i don’t think i can handle losing you twice.”
he laced his fingers with yours, his grip warm and steady. “never again,” he promised.
and this time, you believed him.
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cloudykyu · 3 days ago
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❆ when you love someone, you will do whatever it takes. even if it hurts.
pairing: tbz sunwoo x gn reader genre: breakup au, non-idol au, angst with fluff, it's bittersweet word count: 2,160 warnings: this fic mentions how mental health can affect one physically and internally! not proofread, this was written in a day so it may not be my best work, nothing else other than it's sad lol
mani's notes: happy holidays if you celebrate!! i'm sorry this is just angsty, i'm battling my own holiday saddies right now and this is what i decided to do. also warming up for more written fics to come in the future
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sunwoo’s steps are careful. heel, toe. heel, toe.
normally, the boy would be in a rush to get to you. after nearly a whole year together, the giddy feeling that bubbled in his chest at the thought of embracing you never went away. in fact, overtime, they just escalated. butterflies erupted in a frenzy whenever he pictured your face. a smile would automatically form on his lips when your voice echoed in his head. kim sunwoo is absolutely head over heels for you. and while his feelings for you never changed, today definitely felt a little different. 
he’s cautious as he walks along the sidewalk, taking the route to your house that he’s become so familiar with. the pavement is slightly damp, coldness radiating up the soles of his sneakers. the skies above are a little dark, it’ll probably start snowing soon. sunwoo is deep in thought, though there’s not much to it really. he knows where his feet are leading him. he knows his fate, your fate, once he steps through the threshold of your home. 
like the air around him during the new winter season, you have grown cold over the span of a few months. he doesn’t know how or when, but he can only assume it started that day you came rushing to his home, frantically asking his roommates where he was. 
“where’s my boyfriend?” he remembers hearing, your voice shaky and panicked. as soon as he left his room to find you, he saw your body visibly relax once you two locked eyes. nothing was said, other than a sob of his name as you collapsed into his embrace. that night, all he did was hold you as you cried. he listened to your endless curses spilled to the universe about how unfair life is treating you as he held you tighter and tighter with every tear spilt. eventually, the two of you had fell asleep in each others arms, only for you to slip away in the middle of the night without a word. sunwoo had tried to talk to you about that night, countless of times actually, just for you to brush it off with promises of “i’m fine.” of course the boy didn’t believe you, but there was only so much he could do without pushing you to your limit. 
since then, you had acted as if nothing happened. but it was obvious in the way your eyes no longer held the light that sunwoo adored. it was evident that you were not fine in the way you could barely muster up a smile whenever sunwoo kissed your forehead lightly. he still saw you most days, spending almost all of your time together, but he couldn’t help but feel the distance that had grown between him and the person that sat just next to him on your sofa. physically, you were there, but you both knew your mind fleeted elsewhere. you were off in your own head instead of being in the moment with your boyfriend who drew love clouds in the air whenever he was with you. 
sunwoo loves you so much. he wishes he could fix whatever was bothering you to this extent. he wishes he could take your pain away to see you smile again. but when you love someone, sometimes there’s not much else to do besides that— love the other in all forms. sunwoo tried his hardest to make sure you felt every single drop of affection that radiated off of his body in the days leading up to this moment. he brought you back down to earth with a simple peck on your cheek or a squeeze to your thigh. even with the airy calls of your name, it seems to have not been enough to remind you that he was there for you. he was willing to go to war with whatever has been putting out your flame. you had called him over with the suggestion of needing to talk about something and now here he stood, already in front of your door. too lost in his thoughts to hesitate about ringing the doorbell to your apartment, giving himself no time to think about what he should do next. 
swinging your door open, you feel a small smiled curl up on your lips as you’re met with the sight of sunwoo. he’s bundled in his padded jacket, a familiar gray hoodie underneath. his cheeks and nose red from the cold nipping at his face. he wears a smile that matches yours, lips not parted as the corners of his mouth turns up. there goes the feeling in his chest again. 
“hi,” you say greet him softly. stepping aside to let him in, he goes to toe off his shoes. “did you get here okay? it’s so cold out.”
sunwoo hums in agreement, shrugging off his outerwear. “it’s alright, it’ll probably snow soon.” 
standing up straight, he finally scoops you into his arms. he should have thought about the reason why you had called him over here before doing so. he should have hesitated, because then maybe he wouldn’t have to bite down on his lip as your arms barely circle around him in return. sunwoo ignores you giving 20 and settles with giving you 100 just as he always does. 
you grip onto the back of his hoodie with your hands as sunwoo tightens his hold around you. you purse your lips as he snuggles closer, nestling his face in your neck. you feel the cold that lingered on his skin. “sunwoo…” you mumble and you feel sunwoo shake his head in response. 
“i know, yn” he whispers into your skin. “i know why you called me here, but please. just let me…”
as he trails off, you sigh and let him have his moment with you. you finally reciprocate his embrace and wrap your arms around him fully. leaning in closer, you turn to place a gentle kiss on his temple and giggle at the awkward position. “can we at least sit down? the couch is right there.” 
sunwoo lets out a breathy laugh of his own and picks you up off the ground slightly. he’s still holding you in his arms as your feet dangle above the floor and moves the two of you to your living room. you both fall onto the couch and sunwoo never releases his hold from your torso. you two sit like that for a bit, silence and soft breaths filling the room. 
sunwoo shifts in his spot, raising his head from your shoulder to rest against the back of the couch. you find him staring at you in a way that is so overwhelmingly warm, you feel your entire body flush. the boy in front of you holds all the stars in his eyes, moonlight twinkling into your own as if he’s searching for each dimming light. he’s still gazing as he lifts a hand to cup your jaw, thumb brushing along the surface tenderly. 
“you’re leaving me…” he whispers into the space. you catch your bottom lip between your teeth, looking away from the boy with his heart on his sleeve. but he catches you, fingers moving to bring your gaze back to his. “is there anything i can do?” 
solemnly, you shake your head. a sad smile graces your features as you feel your eyes start to burn. “i’m so sorry sunwoo,” you whisper back, afraid of speaking any louder. “i don’t know what else to do. i have to let you go.”
he takes a deep breath in and screws his eyes shut, keeping his bubbling feelings at bay. the frustration and hurt had been building up and up, but lashing out at you won’t help anyone. “you can do anything but that, baby. stay with me, talk to me, anything!”
“i tried,” you mumble. “i really tried so hard to confide in you, but i can’t even form this into words like… just look at me! i’m not myself anymore and i haven’t been for a while.”
sunwoo takes a moment to take you in. sleep hasn’t been finding you well and it shows with the way your bright eyes have dim, sinking in your face and surrounded by dark circles. the change in season has left a pale dust on your skin, no longer could he see the heat rise in your cheeks whenever he tossed you a flirty line. instead, all there is is a light frown that has been permanently etched into your features. just like your hair, you were a mess in short. but sunwoo didn’t mind the mess. 
he beams at you fully this time, displaying the smile you love so much. “you’re still the most beautiful person ever, yn” his other hand moves to brush an unruly strand of hair from your face before settling on your cheek, both hands caressing your face. “i wanna be with you through it all, okay? please, just let me be by your side as we work through this.” 
your tears finally fall. you wrap your fingers around one of his wrists as he holds your face. “i love you so much” you quiver, lips trembling. you turn slightly, placing a delicate kiss onto his palm and nestle closer into his hold. “i love you kim sunwoo, to the point where i wanna love myself too.”
he leans in, gently kissing your lips. but it’s enough for you to feel everything you mean to him. here you are, breaking up with him and yet he still can’t hold back when it comes to you. “until then, i will love you enough for the both of us,” he mutters against you, like a sealed promise.
a soft sob leaves your lips and you lean your forehead against his to keep you grounded. you don’t deserve the man in front of you. “i can’t let you do that. i’ve already been so unfair to you by keeping all this to myself” scooting back, you create a space between your bodies. sunwoo feels cold again, until you run your hands up the sleeves of his hoodie before bringing them back to settle in his own. “you bring me so much joy, i always feel at home with you no matter where we are. you deserve the whole entire world, sunwoo and the closest i can get to that is by giving you the best version of myself, but that’s not who i am right now…”
you didn’t want sunwoo to break alongside you, deciding that you needed to pick yourself up all on your own. like you had said, sunwoo brings you nothing but happiness. he deserves nothing but the best and unfortunately, you were not your best. how could you fill your half of this relationship when you aren’t complete yourself? no more walking on eggshells. no more worrying, no more questioning. and the look in your eyes says it all. it’s the most full sunwoo has seen them in months, letting him know that this is what’s best. even if it means letting you go to search for pieces of yourself you couldn’t find with him. 
this is sunwoo’s final act of devotion to you. how he can show and prove to you that that feeling he gets at the thought of you will never go away. after all, he’ll do anything to bring your light back. he’s always seen you within a ray of gold and shimmer— how it hurt to witness it fade in real time.
sunwoo tugs on your hands, almost launching your body to him as he lies back flat against the cushions of your sofa. he shifts to move you next to him, curling into you and you into him. you let him hold you and rub circles against your hip as you cling onto the front of his jacket. tears slowly fall into the fabric, but neither you nor sunwoo care right now. 
“i just want you to be happy,” he whispers into your hair. even if it’s not with me, he wants to add but keeps it locked away in his heart. “i’ll do anything for you.”
“when that day comes,” you speak firmly. “we’ll find each other again.” 
just outside your window, the first snow of the year makes its way down just as the tears on you cheeks do. the roads will ice over soon and the cold will only get colder. sunwoo thinks he should get up and leave soon, but he can’t bring himself to do that just yet. you’re also hoping he doesn’t move, wanting to be selfish yet again.
just a little while longer. 
sunwoo vows to always love you in this life and all the ones that follow. he swears to always find you and make sure you never hurt like this again. because when you love someone, there’s nothing you won’t do for them.
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liemurienn · 1 year ago
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fuck i’m on my period i got my first hetalia dream
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writing-for-life · 8 months ago
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Sooooo… does fandom still think we’ll get a different ending?
I’ve noticed that a lot of media that I consume (shows, mostly, but also books and movies) do something where they set it up so that the main character will have to die at the end in order to save everyone else. One of two things happens, and it annoys me. One, the character dies and then is brought back. Two, at the last minute there’s another solution and the character doesn’t have to die. I feel like more writers should commit to a meaningful sacrifice of their main characters. Sometimes it works, but sometimes I just want that brutal, bittersweet moment, and I want it to be final, so that we can really appreciate the character’s sacrifice. Or even if it’s not a sacrifice, and the character just flat out fails, I sometimes wish there was a commitment and we can feel that failure. I don’t mean to say that happy endings shouldn’t exist, I like happy endings. But sometimes it feels like it could totally work to keep the main character dead.
Anyways, I was wondering your opinion on this, my late-night rambling.
You'd probably like Sandman.
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lostfracturess · 26 days ago
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traces of yesterday's scars — satoru gojo
they say the strongest sorcerer can't be broken. but as your fingers trace the scar that once split him in two, you find that even satoru gojo has his sensitive spots.
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You still dream about the moment Satoru was cut in half, the memory haunting you even now—that clean, horizontal slice that had split him perfectly in two, tearing your world apart just as surely as it had torn through him.
Sometimes you wake gasping, the image still vivid behind your eyes.
Now, months later, you lay with your head on his chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. Your fingers trace the scar that runs across his abdomen, the raised line a constant reminder of how close you came to losing him.
The skin here feels different, rough and uneven and so unlike his other scars. Because this scar tells a different story—one of how death had almost claimed him, how he had nearly been taken from you for good.
You feel him tense slightly as your fingers brush over it, catching the small sharp intake of breath he tries to hide.
"Still hurts?" you ask softly.
"Not hurt exactly," he says, trying to play it casual despite the way his muscles twitch under your fingertips. "More like... muscle memory. Like my body hasn't forgotten what it felt like to be in two pieces."
You follow the scar's path across his abdomen, perfectly straight like a ruler's edge. The mark extends to both sides, wrapping around to his back—evidence of how completely he was severed. Your throat tightens at the memory.
"Hey," he catches your wrist when he notices your fingers have stilled on his scar, trembling slightly against his skin. "I'm right here. Still in one piece, see?"
He tries for levity, but you can't shake the image of him split open, of those endless seconds when everyone thought—
Before that thought can fully form, Satoru moves with that impossible speed of his. One moment you're lying on his chest, the next you're on your back, pressed into the mattress with him hovering above you.
His white hair falls forward, framing his face as he looks down at you with those striking blue eyes. The scar catches the dim light, a silver line across his torso that makes your throat tight.
"Stop that," he says softly, pinning your hands beside your head. "I can hear you thinking too hard about it."
"You were cut in half, Satoru," you say quietly. "That's not exactly an easy image to forget."
"And yet here I am," he cuts you off, pressing his forehead to yours. One hand releases your wrist to guide your palm to his chest, letting you feel the strong, steady beat of his heart. "Feel that? Still beating. Still whole. Still yours." His voice drops lower. "I could never leave you. Not even being split in half could keep me away."
He kisses you then, soft and bittersweet at first, before deepening into something more intense. His lips move against yours with a tenderness that makes your heart ache, each press and slide a promise sealed into your skin.
He kisses you like he's trying to prove something, like he's pouring all his certainty and love into this one moment until the scar becomes just another story written on his skin, not an ending but proof that he always finds his way back to you.
His hand cradles the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair as he draws out the kiss until you're both breathless with it.
"Besides," he murmurs against your lips, that familiar boyish glint returning to his eyes, "being cut in half just means there's twice as much of me to love now."
Before you can groan at his terrible joke, he moves again and pulls you flush against him as he rolls, and suddenly you're on top of him, straddling his waist. His hands settle on your hips, thumbs brushing the bare skin where your shirt has ridden up.
"See?" His grin is absolutely insufferable now. "Still strong enough to manhandle you around."
"You're stupid," you say, but you can't help smiling as your hands splay across his chest, feeling his laughter rumble beneath your palms.
"Stupidly in love with you," he counters, pulling you down for another kiss. His hands slide up your back, holding you close as if to prove his point about his strength remaining unchanged.
The scar moves under your touch as he breathes, but now it feels less like a reminder of what you almost lost and more like proof of what you still have—his heart beating steady and strong, his arms around you, his smile pressed against your skin.
"I love you," you say against his lips, "even when you make terrible jokes about being cut in half."
"Especially then," he says, and you can feel his smile widening. His hands grow more bold as they trail down your sides, and you can feel his breath quickening beneath you.
"You know," he murmurs against your lips, "we should probably make sure everything's still working properly—" His fingers slip under the hem of your shirt, skating across your skin. "If you're up for round two?"
In one fluid motion, he sits up, keeping you firmly in his lap as his arms wrap around your waist. His lips find your neck, trailing hot kisses along the sensitive skin there.
"Just to be thorough," you manage to say, though the words come out shakier than intended as his teeth graze over your skin. And he only pulls you closer in return.
"So thorough," he breathes against your neck, one hand sliding up your back while the other grips your hip. "Need to make sure everything's in working order." His voice drops lower, rougher, as his kisses become more heated. "Every—" Kiss. "Single—" Kiss. "Part."
Your fingers thread through his hair as he continues to map every sensitive spot he knows drives you crazy, making you arch against him. His touch erases all thoughts of scars and fears, replacing them with the burning need to be closer.
And when he finally claims you, his movements leave no doubt about how very alive he is—each deep thrust and possessive grip reminding you that he's here, he's whole, he's yours.
The scar may still tell its story of how close you came to losing him, but tonight is about proving just how completely you still have him—all of him, in every way that matters.
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© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.
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yvesette · 2 months ago
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BUZZCUT. | ── [ j.jh ]
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── ⭒ staring .ᐟ ౨ৎ  jaehyun x afab!reader
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀   ₊ ˙ ✃ ⋆  † ⠀๋⠀₊ -
SUMMARY: ── in a bittersweet farewell, the night before your close childhood friend jaehyun leaves for military service you both take a walk along the han river as well as navigate your complicated feelings for each other.
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GENRE: friends to lovers, SMUT (18+, mdni), angst, fluff, idol!jaehyun CW/TAGS: dom!jaehyun, sub!reader, oral (f receiving), fingering, piv sex, spanking, hair pulling, reader is refered to as a girl, praising, bigdick!jaehyun WORDS | 6.8k A/N | this is in honor of jaehyun's enlistment - enjoy !!
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‪  ゛ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ♡ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ₊ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 𓈒 ◌ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
── the night is cool against your skin, a gentle breeze wrapping around you as you walk down the narrow streets, winding your way toward the river. your steps are deliberate, even though your heart thunders against your chest. you’re thinking too much, and you know it, letting each thought flicker and fold over the last like waves, endless and unknowable, churning somewhere deep inside you.
it’s been a long time, you think. a long time since you first saw him, all easy smiles and casual charm. a long time since you first felt that jolt of something you didn’t yet have a name for but that, in hindsight, you recognize as love. you’ve never told him, not once—not in all these years of close calls and almosts, of lingering touches and moments that you always held on to longer than you should have.
you inhale deeply, trying to slow the pace of your thoughts, but each step closer only winds you tighter. the han river glimmers faintly in the distance, a line of silver beneath the night sky. and there, by the water’s edge, is jaehyun. he’s leaning against the railing, looking out at the river, his face partially shadowed but somehow softer, framed by the quiet of the night. the sight of him, so familiar yet distant, almost pulls you to a stop.
there’s something about him tonight—a weight you hadn’t noticed before. it’s as if he, too, is looking to hold on to everything here, everything he’s about to leave behind. and yet, he doesn’t turn to look at you until you’re almost right next to him, his gaze steady as he catches your eye.
“you made it,” he says, that soft, reassuring warmth in his voice. his smile, though, is smaller than usual, like there’s something unsaid between you both, lingering just below the surface.
“i made it,” you answer, and you try to keep your tone light, but it comes out quiet, touched by an edge you didn’t mean to reveal. you’ve imagined this moment—this last chance to see him—over and over in your head, each version of it different. and yet, standing here now, everything you thought you might say seems to slip through your fingers.
he watches you carefully, that subtle intensity in his gaze, as if he’s trying to memorize the way you look, standing there in the glow of the distant city lights.
he clears his throat, breaking the silence as you both start walking along the path that follows the river's edge. “how’ve you been?” he asks, giving you a sidelong glance. it’s a simple question, and yet the softness of his tone makes it feel like he’s asking for something more, like he’s trying to make up for all the times he’s missed out on in the last few months.
you smile, shrugging lightly. “same old, same old. work, school—nothing too exciting. but you, mr. idol, you’ve been busy.” jaehyun chuckles, the sound low and warm, as he brushes his hair back with one hand. “yeah, i guess that’s one way to put it.” he looks down at his shoes for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “we were doing concerts. that’s why i’ve been, you know… hard to reach.”
you nod, already knowing. his life has been moving at a different pace—one that has taken him across oceans, into arenas filled with fans chanting his name. it’s a reality you’ve grown used to, but still, there’s a tiny ache whenever you remember how separate his world can sometimes feel from yours. but tonight, it’s as if none of that matters. tonight, he’s here, and there’s only the two of you.
“still can’t believe that’s real,” you say, nudging him lightly with your shoulder. “remember when you wouldn’t even sing in front of me?”
jaehyun laughs, shaking his head. “i was terrible back then. don’t lie to me.”
“no, i’m serious!” you grin, holding up your hands in mock surrender. “all those late nights, trying to get you to sing while we were ‘studying’ for exams. it was tragic—”
“oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad,” he interrupts, nudging you back with a smile that’s both embarrassed and pleased. “you’re making me sound hopeless.”
“hopeless? maybe a little,” you tease, watching his face light up in a way that feels achingly familiar, like something you want to freeze in time. “but i guess you’ve come a long way, huh?”
he nods, a soft hum in his voice. “feels like forever ago, though. remember the first time we stayed out all night? trying to find that coffee shop you swore was ‘just around the corner’?”
you laugh, covering your mouth at the memory. “and we got so lost! i was ready to give up, but you…” you trail off, looking at him with that same warmth, thinking of the way he had insisted on keeping on, even when you both had practically wandered into the outskirts of the city.
“i wasn’t about to let you down,” he finishes, a hint of pride in his voice.
the two of you continue walking, memories spilling out as naturally as the river flowing beside you. nights spent at convenience stores with cheap ramyeon and cola; that one time he convinced you to go to karaoke and made up for years of not singing; all the secrets you whispered between laughter and yawns, half-asleep in the early morning light.
and yet, despite the familiarity, tonight is different. the laughter dies down quicker, and each memory feels like a bittersweet treasure, something you’re both afraid to hold too tightly for fear it will slip away. you’re acutely aware of every step, every glance, every brush of his shoulder against yours. it’s all slipping through your fingers, each second a reminder that you’re both on the brink of a sort-of goodbye.
the quiet stretches out between you as you walk, and though his hand rests loosely in his pocket, jaehyun’s other hand rises to press his fingertips to his mouth, lost in thought. his gaze wanders out over the river, his usual warmth dimming, replaced by something heavier. it lingers in the air around him, that tension, that uncertainty—like the night itself is waiting to exhale.
“honestly… i don’t know what to expect.” his voice is lower now, almost a whisper that the wind could easily snatch away. “everyone says you just get through it. that it’s over before you know it. but…” he trails off, his words floating into the dark like something fragile and fleeting. “it’s strange, thinking that life just… pauses. for two years.”
you walk a few more paces, silent, each step a reminder of time slipping by too fast. you look at him out of the corner of your eye, trying to hold onto the image: the faint furrow of his brow, the set of his jaw, that expression he wears when he’s trying to seem brave but doesn’t quite manage it. and your own heart twists at the sight of him—of jaehyun, here with you, with all the things you’ve never said pressing against your chest. but you push it down, that ache, until it’s tucked somewhere deep inside you. instead, you reach out, letting your hand rest on his arm, feeling the warmth of him under your fingertips.
“you’ll be okay yuno,” you say quietly, feeling the words reverberate through you, anchoring you to this moment. “you’ve always found a way to be.”
he looks at you then, really looks at you, like he’s seeing something for the first time. there’s a hint of disbelief in his eyes, almost as if he wants to question what you’ve just said, even using his real name - to pick it apart. but he doesn’t. he just nods, a faint, grateful smile tracing his lips.
“sometimes i think you believe in me more than i do,” he murmurs. “like you’ve always known something i haven’t.”
you want to say something to that, to answer, to reach through all these walls of silence that have built up between you over the years, but you don’t. instead, you only look back at him, holding your smile steady, letting the quiet carry all the things you can’t say.
after a moment, you find a bench tucked away at the edge of the path, overlooking the river’s glimmering surface. the world around you fades into the background, and for a brief moment, it’s just the two of you, suspended in this fragile stillness. as you sit, jaehyun turns toward you, his fingers brushing against yours before he takes your hand fully, squeezing it gently.
“i don’t know what i’d do without you,” he admits, his voice steady but low, a hint of vulnerability hidden beneath the surface.
your heart races at the contact, warmth spreading through you like a soft glow. you’re on the verge of confessing everything—the weight of your feelings that you’ve kept hidden, the love that has thrived in the silence between you. but you hold back, unwilling to add any more emotional weight to a goodbye that’s already too heavy. instead, you meet his gaze, trying to capture this moment, every detail of him etched in your mind—his soft features, the way his eyes reflect the shimmering river, the gentle press of his hand against yours.
jaehyun clears his throat, breaking the quiet between you. “it’s getting cold,” he says, his voice soft, almost reluctant. “i’ll walk you home.”
you nod, and without another word, you both stand, falling into step beside each other. the silence between you now is thick, layered with the things neither of you have said, and each step you take feels heavier, like the night itself is pressing down, reminding you that this is the last time—for a good while—that you’ll have him beside you like this.
the streets are emptier now, just the distant glow of streetlights casting long shadows as you walk side by side. you can feel the tension building, each step drawing you closer to the inevitable. your hand brushes his once, and though neither of you speaks, there’s a quiet comfort in that brief, familiar contact. when you finally reach your apartment, you stop, and jaehyun does too. he stands there, looking at you with an expression you can’t quite read—something mingling with the sadness in his eyes, a softness, a question, maybe. and he hesitates, his hand hovering just beside yours as if he wants to reach for you, as if he’s searching for something in your face that he’s not sure he’ll find.
jaehyun’s gaze flickers, lingering on you as if he’s committing every detail to memory. he rubs the back of his neck, breaking eye contact for a second before looking back at you.
“so…” he begins, his voice barely above a whisper, carrying the weight of all the unspoken words between you. “guess this is it, huh?” you force a smile, nodding even though it feels like your chest is tightening. “yeah. tomorrow.”
he bites his lip, his eyes searching yours, like he’s waiting for you to say something, anything to make this moment last longer. “it’s just… i don’t know. doesn’t feel real yet.”
you swallow, the words caught in your throat. “it doesn’t,” you reply softly, your voice barely steady. “we’ll still call and text all the time…and if you want we can hang out every other weekend or something.”
jaehyun’s expression softens, the corners of his mouth twitching into a small, sad smile. “you’ve been there for everything,” he says, his voice quiet, almost as if he’s admitting a secret. “since we were kids. it’s hard to think of… going through something without you around.”
your heart races at his words, and you force yourself to hold his gaze, even though every instinct tells you to look away, to hide what you’re feeling. “i’ll still be here,” you say, and the promise feels fragile, yet unbreakable, hanging in the space between you.
he lets out a small breath, his hand lifting as if on instinct, brushing your cheek, his fingers barely grazing your skin. “i know you will.” his voice catches, and for a moment, you see something raw in his eyes—a tenderness that feels almost too much to bear.
you stand there, suspended in the silence that follows, the weight of everything unsaid filling the space between you. and before you can second-guess yourself, before you can think of all the reasons not to, you close the distance, pressing your lips to his. his hand slips around to the back of your neck, gentle but firm, as if grounding you both in this moment, and he kisses you back, slow and unhurried, like he, too, is trying to capture everything he feels in this one breath, this one touch. the kiss starts softly, a gentle brush of lips that feels almost tentative, as if you’re both testing the waters of this new territory. but as the world around you fades, that initial hesitation melts away. the warmth of his hand cradling your neck sends a shiver down your spine, igniting something deep within you that has long been simmering beneath the surface.
jaehyun's lips are sweet, tinged with the warmth of honey and a hint of smoky undertones from the cigarette he smoked earlier. his lips move against yours with increasing urgency, a mix of longing and a bittersweet awareness that time is slipping away. you lean into him, feeling the solid weight of him against you, and it’s as if every memory, every unspoken word, pours into that moment—every shared glance, every moment of laughter—colliding in time.
jaehyun deepens the kiss, tilting his head slightly, and you feel his breath against your skin, warm and inviting, igniting a fire that spreads through you. it’s a heady mix of sweetness and heat, and you find yourself responding instinctively, matching his intensity, losing yourself in the sensation of him.
your heart races as you feel his fingers slide into your hair, pulling you closer, anchoring you to him as if he fears letting go. the world around you blurs, the distant sounds of the city fading into a dull hum, leaving only the two of you, caught in this fragile moment that feels both infinite and fleeting.
breathless, you pull away just enough to rest your forehead against his, the warmth of his skin lingering. your eyes meet, and in that charged silence, a shared understanding pulses between you—fragile yet undeniable. with a shaky breath, you fumble for your keys, the metal cool against your palm as you unlock the door, hands trembling. jaehyun steps in behind you, his presence a comforting weight, solid and unwavering in the dim light.
the moment the door closes, he's there, pulling you close again. his lips find yours in the dim light of your apartment, urgent and needy. you melt into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as he walks you backwards toward the couch. the familiar scent of his cologne envelops you, a heady mix of leather and lillies that makes your head spin. your legs hit the edge of the couch, and jaehyun gently lowers you onto the soft cushions. he follows, his body a comforting weight above you as he settles on top of you.
“god, i’ll miss this,” he murmurs, brushing his thumb along your jaw. then, without another word, he kisses down your neck, his lips trailing warmth that ignites every nerve in your body. you gasp softly, feeling the heat radiate from him, his touch igniting a fire deep within you.
“jaehyun…” you breathe, your voice a mixture of longing and urgency. “i wanna remember this.”
his kisses trail back to your lips, deepening as he pours everything he feels into the moment, as if to make sure you both carry it with you, etched into your hearts. “are you sure?” he whispers, his breath warm against your skin, “that you want this.”
you nod, your eyes locked with his. "i promise," you whisper back, “i’ve thought about this for so long.”
jaehyun’s eyes soften, a blend of tenderness and desire flickering within their depths. he shifts slightly, fingers finding the hem of his shirt, and you hold your breath as he pulls it over his head, revealing the smooth contours of his chest and abs. the dim light from the street outside casts shadows that accentuate every curve, transforming him into a living, breathing sculpture.
without thinking, your hands reach out, tracing the lines of his torso as if drawn by an invisible thread. his skin is warm beneath your fingertips, a tangible warmth that makes your heart race. you marvel at the firmness of his abdomen, the subtle ridges etched from countless hours of dance practice and grueling workouts.
a soft hitch escapes jaehyun’s breath at your touch, his gaze darkening with desire as he watches you explore. hesitantly, you reach for the hem of your sweater. jaehyun's eyes follow your movements as you slowly pull it up and over your head, revealing the delicate lace of your bra underneath. the cool air of the apartment raises goosebumps on your skin.
jaehyun's gaze is reverent as he takes in the sight of you. his fingertips ghost along your collarbone, tracing a feather-light path down to the swell of your breasts. you shiver at his touch.
“is this okay?” he asks softly, his hands hovering at the clasp of your bra, the question hanging in the air like a fragile promise. you nod, unable to find your voice, the weight of his gaze anchoring you as he leans closer, a whisper of breath brushing against your skin.
with gentle fingers, jaehyun unhooks your bra, his touch reverent as he slides the straps down your shoulders. the fabric falls away, revealing your breasts to his gaze. his eyes darken with desire as he takes in the sight of you, vulnerable yet unafraid beneath him.
"so fucking pretty," he murmurs, voice husky with emotion. he lowers his head, pressing a soft kiss to the curve of your neck. his lips trail downward, leaving a path of warmth across your collarbone. when he reaches your breast, he pauses, his breath hot against your skin. then his mouth closes around your nipple, drawing a gasp from your lips.
his tongue swirls patterns as he sucks gently, sending sparks of pleasure through your body. one hand cups your other breast, thumb brushing over the sensitive peak. you arch into him, a gasp escaping your lips. one of his hands kneads your other breast as he lavishes attention on the first. the dual sensations make your head spin. jaehyun releases your tit with a soft pop, his eyes meeting yours as he begins to trail kisses down your body. his lips brush against your sternum, then trace a path down the center of your abdomen. each touch is feather-light yet charged, sending shivers cascading through you.
he takes his time, mapping the landscape of your skin with worshipful attention. his tongue dips into the hollow of your navel, eliciting a soft gasp. you feel the curve of his smile against your skin as he continues lower, his teeth lightly scraping your sensitive flesh.
jaehyun's fingers trace along the waistband of your skirt, his touch light as a whisper. he looks up at you, eyes dark with desire but still seeking permission. "can i take this off?" he asks softly, his voice low and loving.
you nod, breath catching in your throat as he slowly unzips your skirt. he slides it down your legs, his hands caressing your thighs as he goes. the cool air raises goosebumps on your newly exposed skin.
jaehyun's gaze travels over you reverently, taking in every curve and dip of your body. his fingers ghost along the lace edge of your panties, barely touching. "you're so beautiful," he murmurs, “let me take care of you baby.”
he presses a kiss to your inner thigh, just above your knee. then another, slightly higher. his lips trail a path of fire up your limbs and when he reaches the edge of your panties, he pauses, looking up at you with dark, desire-filled eyes. "god, you're so wet," he murmurs, his voice low and cursing. "fucking soaked, all for me.."
his fingers trace along the damp lace, barely ghosting over your most sensitive areas. even that faint touch sends sparks of pleasure coursing through you. you squirm slightly, desperate for more contact and whimper.
"such pretty noises," he purrs. "i wonder how you'll sound when i really touch you."
"please," you whimper, not even caring how needy you sound.
a slow smile spreads across jaehyun's face. "please what?" he asks, his tone commanding. "tell me what you want, baby."
"touch me," you gasp. "please, i need you to touch me."
your breath catches as he hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties. with agonizing slowness, he slides them down your legs, his touch leaving trails of fire in its wake. the fabric clings to your damp skin as he peels it away, exposing you fully to his hungry gaze.
jaehyun's eyes roam over you, drinking in every detail. his hands caress your thigh, “perfect fucking pussy, better than i ever imagined..” he praises, before his tongue finally makes contact with your folds, you gasp at the sensation. he starts with long, slow licks, savoring your taste as he explores every inch. his hands grip your thighs, holding you steady as he works.
jaehyun's tongue swirls around your clit before sucking gently, sending waves of pleasure through you. he alternates between broad strokes and focused attention, building your arousal steadily higher. you thread your fingers through his hair, guiding him where you need him most.
jaehyun holds your trembling thighs firmly apart, his strong hands steady and warm against your skin. his touch is gentle yet insistent, opening you up to his hungry gaze. jaehyun's tongue delves deeper, parting your folds and exploring every sensitive ridge and valley. he hums softly against you, the vibrations sending shivers through your core. his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your thighs, anchoring you as pleasure builds within you.
you feel the heat of his breath against your most intimate places as he works, alternating between broad strokes of his tongue and focused attention on your clit. each pass sends sparks of sensation coursing through you. your hips begin to rock involuntarily, seeking more friction.
"such a good girl," jaehyun murmurs against you, his voice low and husky. "i love how you taste."
he slides one finger inside you, curling it upwards as his tongue continues to lavish attention on your clit. the dual sensations make you gasp, your back arching off the couch and you curse.
jaehyun slides one hand up your body to cup your breast, rolling your nipple between his fingers. the added stimulation heightens every sensation, making you gasp and writhe beneath him. your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him close as your hips begin to move of their own accord.
you arch your back, grinding against his mouth as the tension mounts. soft whimpers and gasps fall from your lips, growing more desperate as you climb higher. jaehyun redoubles his efforts, sucking your clit between his lips as he slides another finger inside you. the dual stimulation has you seeing stars. his fingers curl, finding that perfect spot inside you as his tongue lashes your clit. you cry out, your hips bucking against his face as the first waves of orgasm crash over you. jaehyun doesn’t stop, only slows his efforts as you come down from your high. after you catch your breath, he moves his head from your thighs and moves up over you to kiss you.
jaehyun's lips meet yours in a deep, sensual kiss that is almost like a thank-you from you. you taste yourself on his tongue - tangy and sweet with a hint of musk. as he presses his body closer, you feel the hard length of his cock through his sweatpants, hot and insistent against your thigh. the thin fabric does little to conceal his arousal. the heat of him sears into your skin, igniting a fresh wave of desire low in your belly. your hands roam over the planes of his back, tracing the lean muscles there. his skin is fever-warm, and you pull back from kissing him to look down at the print of him through his pants. you make eye contact, and there’s a question hanging in the air along with the heavy breathing of you both.
you break the beat of silence, “i want to,” you say, giving him the permission that he needed.
jaehyun pulls away slightly, his eyes still locked on yours, the heat of the moment lingering in the air. with a quick, decisive movement, he gets up from the couch, the dim light casting soft shadows over his form.
“condom?” he asks.
“it’s in my bedside table,” you reply, watching him as he nods and strides toward the bedroom.
as he disappears from view, the atmosphere shifts. you stare up at the ceiling, feeling the room spin slightly, an unexpected loneliness settling in without his presence. the faint sounds of the city outside filter in, but they feel distant and hollow compared to the warmth he brought just moments before.
a part of you aches for him, for that connection you’ve both been dancing around for so long. time stretches as you wait, heart pounding in your chest, your thoughts swirling with anticipation and uncertainty.
finally, he returns, the confident smile back on his lips, and in his hand is the small foil wrapper. the moment he steps into the light, the heaviness in the air dissipates, replaced by a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins. you sit up as he slips down his sweatpants and boxers.
as jaehyun's sweatpants fall away, your breath catches in your throat. his cock springs free, thick and hard, jutting proudly from a nest of dark curls. your eyes widen, taking in the impressive sight before you. he's long - longer than you expected - and girthy, the shaft curved slightly upward. the head is flushed a deep pink, a bead of precum glistening at the tip. the sight of him, fully aroused and wanting you, sends a fresh wave of heat through your core.
you swallow hard, a mix of desire and nervousness fluttering in your stomach as he gives it a few pumps, wrapping his veiny hands around his length and then slipping the condom on.
you lay back against the arm of the couch, heart pounding as jaehyun moves over you. his eyes are dark with desire as he positions himself between your spread legs. you feel exposed yet safe under his gaze.
jaehyun braces one hand beside your head, using the other to guide his cock to your entrance. the latex-covered tip brushes against your sensitive folds, making you gasp. he runs it up and down your slit, coating himself in your wetness. when he reaches your clit, he circles it slowly, the friction sending sparks of pleasure through you.
jaehyun's eyes lock with yours, his gaze intense and full of longing. the air between you is charged, buzzed with anticipation. he runs the tip of his cock along your folds once more, coating himself in your slick heat.
"god, you're so wet for me," he murmurs, his voice rough. "such a good fucking girl, all ready to take my cock.”
his praise sends a shiver down your spine, arousal pooling low in your belly. your breath catches in your throat as he begins to push forward, stretching you slowly inch by delicious inch. you gasp at the fullness, your body adjusting to accommodate his impressive girth. he moves with careful control, giving you time to adjust. when he's fully sheathed inside you, he pauses, letting you adjust to his size. his breath is ragged against your neck, his body trembling slightly with the effort of holding still. his breath ghosts over your skin as he leans in close, his lips brushing against your ear. "that's it, baby," he praises, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. "take me in. you're doing so well."
you whimper softly, rocking your hips to encourage him to move. jaehyun takes the hint, slowly withdrawing before thrusting back in. he sets a steady rhythm, each stroke long and deep.
"fuck, you're so tight," he groans, his voice low and husky in your ear. "such a perfect little pussy, taking my cock just right."
jaehyun's thrusts become faster and more urgent, his hips snapping against yours with each movement. your bodies move together in a perfect rhythm, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room.
"yuno," you moan, your hands gripping onto his shoulders as he pounds into you, “feels so good, oh my god.” he leans down to capture your lips in a hungry kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth as he continues to move inside you.
jaehyun's thrusts grow more powerful, driving deep into your core with each movement. the couch creaks softly beneath you as he picks up the pace. you feel every inch of him sliding in and out, the delicious friction sending waves of pleasure through your body.
his hands grip your hips tightly, angling you to hit that perfect spot inside. you cry out as he brushes against it, sparks of sensation radiating outward. jaehyun groans in response, the sound low and primal.
you can feel the tension building in your lower belly, a coiling heat that threatens to consume you. jaehyun must sense it too, because he redoubles his efforts. his hips snap against yours forcefully, driving into you with renewed vigor.
just as you're teetering on the edge, jaehyun slows his movements, pulling almost all the way out before sinking back in torturously slowly. you whimper at the change of pace, your body aching for more. he repeats the motion several times, drawing out each thrust until you're writhing beneath him.
"please," you gasp, "i need more."
jaehyun kisses you deeply before pulling out completely. "turn around for me, baby," he murmurs, his voice insistent. you listen, adjusting your position until you’re on your hands and knees and he’s behind you.
jaehyun's hands grip your hips firmly as he positions himself behind you. you feel the blunt head of his cock pressing against your entrance, teasing you. he runs it along your slick folds, coating himself in your arousal.
the anticipation builds as he lines himself up, the tip just barely breaching you. before you can respond, jaehyun snaps his hips forward, burying himself to the hilt in one powerful thrust. you cry out at the sudden fullness, your fingers gripping the couch cushions tightly. he gives you only a moment to adjust before pulling back and slamming in again.
jaehyun sets a punishing pace, his hips pistoning against you. the new angle allows him to hit spots deep inside that make you see stars. jaehyun's hands grip your hips tightly as he pounds into you from behind, his movements growing more frenzied. the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, punctuated by your breathless moans and his low grunts.
"god, you feel so fucking good," he groans, his voice rough with desire. "my perfect baby, s-so fucking tight."
his praise sends shivers down your spine, arousal pooling low in your belly. you arch your back, pushing your hips back to meet his thrusts. the new angle allows him to hit even deeper, brushing against that spot inside you that makes you see stars. suddenly, jaehyun's hand comes down on your ass with a sharp crack. the sting blooms across your skin, quickly followed by a wave of heat. you arch your back, changing the angle slightly, and cry out as he hits that perfect spot deep inside you. jaehyun notices your reaction and adjusts his movements to hit that same spot with each thrust.
jaehyun's hand slides up your back, fingers tangling in your hair. he grips it firmly, tugging your head back as he continues to thrust into you. the slight pain mingles with pleasure, heightening every sensation. you gasp at the new angle, feeling him even deeper inside you.
"that's it, baby," he growls, his voice low and husky. "take it all for me." his hips snap against yours with renewed vigor, each thrust driving you closer to the edge. the couch creaks beneath you, the sound barely audible over your breathless moans and the slap of skin on skin.
jaehyun's grip on your hair tightens, pulling your head back further. “gonna c-come,” you manage to get out. the arch in your spine deepens, changing the angle just enough to hit that perfect spot inside you with every stroke.
“be a good fucking girl and come for me baby,” he says, leaning against your ear. stars explode behind your eyes as waves of pleasure crash over and you scream his name. jaehyun's grunts become more urgent as he continues to thrust into you, riding out your orgasm. he can feel you clenching tightly around him, milking him for all he's worth. with a loud groan, he follows you over the edge, his hips stuttering as he empties himself inside you.
jaehyun carefully pulls out, both of you wincing slightly at the loss of contact. he sits up, running a hand through his tousled hair as he catches his breath. the dim light from the street outside casts a soft glow on his skin, highlighting the sheen of sweat on his chest.
with a quiet grunt, he stands and makes his way to the small trash can beside the couch. you watch the play of muscles in his back and legs as he moves, admiring the lean strength of his body. he removes the condom and ties it off before tossing it in the bin.
jaehyun turns back to you, a soft smile playing on his lips. his hair is a mess, sticking up in wild tufts where you ran your fingers through it. he ruffles it absently, making it even more chaotic. you run a hand through his hair and scowl playfully when you feel how sweaty he is.
"gross," you tease, wiping your hand on his shirt. "you're all sticky."
jaehyun's smile widens, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "you weren't complaining a few minutes ago," he quips, his voice low, “and say goodbye to my hair - i’m shaving it tomorrow.”
you feel a blush creep up your neck, remembering the heated moments that led to his current disheveled state, and then a sadness rushes over you - that he’s leaving tomorrow. jaehyun notices your reaction and chuckles softly, pulling you closer. his arms wrap around your waist, and you can feel the warmth radiating from his body as he grabs a blanket from the other side of the couch and places it over you both.
"what's on your mind, beautiful?" he murmurs, his breath tickling your ear. you hesitate, not wanting to ruin the moment with your woeful thoughts.
"it's nothing," you reply, forcing a smile. but jaehyun knows you too well. his fingers gently tilt your chin up, brown eyes searching yours.
"tell me," he insists softly.
you sigh, your defenses crumbling under his gaze. "i just… i can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow. it feels too soon."
his expression shifts, the teasing glimmer fading as he brushes a thumb across your cheek. "yeah, i get it. it’s not easy."
"but what if things change?" you murmur, your heart tightening at the thought.
jaehyun raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "change? as in me forgetting you? not a chance. you think i could forget the girl who drove me crazy for all these years?"
you roll your eyes, but there’s a flutter of anticipation in your stomach. "well, you’re going to be busy with training and everything else."
he leans closer, his breath warm against your skin. "busy? sure. but you think i’ll be able to focus when all i can think about is you? not a chance."
your heart skips a beat, and you can’t help but tease back. "is that your way of saying you’ll miss me?"
jaehyun chuckles softly, the sound sending shivers down your spine. "it’s my way of saying you better miss me too. because i’m about to confess something."
you lean in, curiosity piqued. "what’s that?"
jaehyun's expression shifts, becoming more serious as he searches your eyes. "i’m in love with you. like, really in love with you. i think about you all the time—when i'm practicing, when i'm on stage, even when i'm just hanging out with the guys. it’s like you're always there in the back of my mind."
your breath catches, the weight of his words settling around you. "but… why didn’t you say anything before?"
he runs a hand through his hair, a nervous habit you’ve come to know well. "i didn’t want to ruin what we have. i thought maybe it was better to keep it as friends. but now? i want to try things with you. i want to see where this goes."
the confession hangs in the air between you, charged with possibility. you can feel your pulse quickening, excitement mingling with uncertainty. "and what if it doesn’t work out? the timing of this is just-"
jaehyun shakes his head, his brow furrowing slightly. "i don’t care about timing. what matters is how i feel, and i can’t let that go without saying something. i want you in my life, no matter how far apart we are."
you raise an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at your lips. "you make it sound so easy. you do realize i’m not just some object you can claim when you feel like it, right?"
he chuckles, leaning closer, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "oh, i’m fully aware. that’s why i’m trying to make my move before someone else scoops you up."
you laugh lightly, shaking your head. "good luck with that. i’m pretty sure no one else would bother trying."
"yeah? you think i’m the only one?" he teases, raising an eyebrow. "you must have a whole line of admirers waiting."
"right, because i’m just so irresistible," you reply, a smirk on your lips. "but let’s be real. you’re the only one who’s actually putting in the work."
jaehyun’s smile fades just a little as he leans back, studying you. "look, i know this isn’t easy. but i don’t want to just be some random fling. i want to be in your life, no matter where we are."
you take a breath, weighing his words. "and if things get complicated? you know they will."
he shrugs, unfazed. "shit’s always complicated. but i’d rather deal with that than let this slip away. you’re worth the trouble."
you meet his gaze, feeling the sincerity behind his words. "okay, i get it. but don’t think i’m going to make this easy for you."
he smirks, the challenge evident in his eyes. "i wouldn’t want it any other way."
-
the morning light filters in through the window, casting a soft glow on the cluttered room, and you find yourself perched on a stool, an electric razor in your hand, staring at jaehyun’s reflection in the bathroom mirror. he sits in a chair, a towel draped around his shoulders, looking slightly apprehensive but oddly amused by the situation.
“are you sure you want to do this?” he asks, a teasing lilt in his voice that doesn’t quite mask the tension beneath. you grip the razor tighter, suddenly aware of how little you know about haircuts.
“i kinda have to,” jaehyun replies, a hint of seriousness creeping into his tone, “no long hair.”
you nod and take a deep breath, bringing the razor closer. with a gentle buzz, the razor hums to life, and you press it against his scalp. the sound is oddly satisfying, a gentle roar that fills the small space, and you watch as a tuft of hair falls away, landing softly on the towel draped around his shoulders.
“oh my god!” you squeal, barely able to contain your dumbfoundedness. you can’t help but laugh at the sight of jaehyun’s shocked expression, a blend of surprise and amusement. you can’t stop the laughter bubbling up as you buzz away the rest of his hair, the once dark locks falling in tufts around him. each pass of the razor reveals more of his scalp, and soon he’s left with a clean, smooth surface that glints in the morning light.
jaehyun tilts his head, a teasing grin spreading across his face. “so, how do i look? sexy?”
the question hangs in the air, and without thinking, you lean in and press a soft kiss to his lips, the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips sending a rush of warmth through you. his surprise melts into a smile, and you pull away slightly, a grin still playing on your lips as you meet his gaze.
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    ˳    ౨౿  ⁺  ༄   ༝    end.
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merakiui · 1 year ago
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never-ending noctuary; love forevermore.
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yandere!malleus draconia x (female) reader cw: yandere, nsfw, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, somnophilia, non-con, overblot!malleus, obsession, breeding, baby-trapping, malleus is written to have two dicks, spoilers for part two of book seven note - and sitting powerful on his throne of thorns, omniscience at his fingertips, the lord of malevolence takes a bride.
An eerie, all-consuming quiet has fallen over Sage’s Island.
It is frigid and unfriendly like winter. Harsh and oppressive like silence. Painful and abrasive like brambles. Time has come to a swift halt here, and with it the people fall into never-ending euneirophrenia. Delights so dreamy shall inhabit the minds of all who sleep, the grandest gift granted to those unwilling. Like fate itself, wound around every living soul, it is inescapable. Inevitable like death—unfair and unforgettable.
But then it is also peaceful and secure. Quaint and warm like a blanket. Fluffy and floral like spring’s first kiss. Solace is far sweeter when spent in oneiric solitude, and so it will seem for one-thousand years. Forevermore, stretched taut into the future, the dream persists.
Is that not the best blessing? To those who wish to savor a fleeting moment just a second more, is this not a wish granted generously tenfold? Rather than immortalizing the past with photographs, it shall never come to pass. There is no need for bittersweet recollections or tearful farewells. The present will persevere, lived out in endless dreams.
Surely this is the correct course. Not just for Malleus, for he is a gentle, kind creature who recognizes the mutual desire for interminable merriment, but for the entirety of the island. Although in hoping for love forevermore, he has shackled himself to selfish, Epicurean pleasures. The type which normally lasts as long as a vision spent on cloud nine.
Currently, sitting proud and alone on a cold throne, Malleus knows of no greater joy.
The party may have fallen still as the grave, bodies slumbering in stiff propinquity, but it hasn’t finished. The food may have congealed, inedible and decaying, but it is there. A testament to spirits kept aloft, if only to ensure no one ever knows the desolation of endings.
Paradise is what you make of it. Thus, should you hope for it, you can walk on the clouds in your mind and never know of Icarus’s plights. You can shed insecurities and anxieties and taste delectable metamorphosis. You can be anyone and anything. You can be strong and wealthy. You can be fearless and heroic. You can be an impossible ideal.
You can be loved.
Malleus watches your seemingly lifeless form splayed on the sofa, limbs draped over that of Ace and Deuce. It’s a tranquil sight, a marionette freed from the strings of somber, suffocating life.
Under a roof of thorns, you are reborn.
Paradise is wondrous for Malleus, albeit a touch silent. He wonders what you might say if you were to stand at his side and observe this eternal slumber party. Would it fill you with awe? With appreciation? With abject terror?
Perhaps there is no use in theorizing. He doesn’t need to know, for you will love him even in sleep.
He rises, taking each step at a time. Thorny branches and roots part to make way for him, a groom traversing the aisle in search of his bride. You lie still, secrets sealed behind pretty, plush lips, and if he was not the cause for your current state he might assume you were late.
But there is no death here. It cannot reach. It will never reach because Paradise knows not of death or suffering.
Paradise is the garden before the infestation. Paradise is the body before bacterial devastation. Paradise is love before departed lamentation.
Malleus gazes at your restful face, leaning down to trace a clawed, blot-tainted finger along your cheek. There are no tears; you are a doll incapable of such sorrow, sculpted to portray perfect neutrality. He is most pleased with this development, his chest rumbling with a triumphant chuckle. Now you shall never know an ending ever again. Now you shall remain here, safe and stagnant in his arms, far from the mirror that may allow you to return home.
Gathering your body in his arms, he lifts you from the cushions. You crumble in his grasp, head lolling and arms noodling at your sides. Sagging dead weight, but he places his ear to your chest to listen to the melodic thrum of your heart. You’re alive, frailty shielded from the horrors of the world. Here, in thorny idyll, you will live forevermore.
Historically, all rulers must have someone to call their own. Whether it be by way of arrangement or convenience, strung together for the sake of conjoined power or out of obligation, this is an irrefutable fact. Historically, all rulers must bear an heir—someone to carry on the glory of an ever-present lineage.
Malleus refuses to bring a child into the world unless they are given the blessing of the one thing he was deprived of since birth.
A mother.
You fit in his embrace, a puppet tugged into a one-sided waltz. He steps over fallen bodies as he holds you against his chest, following the routine even though you aren’t awake to reciprocate.
Historically, a married pair must share the first dance. Or that’s what he’s read in fairy tales.
There are no rings here; promises are left unspoken. He won’t entertain rejection because there is no room for it in Paradise. Every unsavory, horrid thing—pestilence and pain, death and destruction, and sadness and sin—is packed away in Pandora’s box and shelved. Malleus won’t risk opening it to release the tiny shred of hope desperately clawing for escape. It’s not worth it.
He will foster his own hope if he must, and she exists in his arms—beautifully motionless.
The steps are executed with care, up the stairs and towards a lonesome chair. He attempts a twirl, lowering you into a dip. Your arms hang limply, eyes shut in permanence. Brimming with fondness, Malleus tugs you back up to press his lips to your forehead.
“Dearest one,” he mumbles, “may you know many fruitful fantasies in the arms of Morpheus.”
He reclaims his seat and situates you to face him while perched on his lap. You slump against him, near-boneless. He smiles at you, imagining the ruckus that would certainly come about from such a daring gesture. Sebek would squawk at you to have more respect and dignity. Silver would tut and shake his head. Lilia would look on in amusement.
These are small pleasantries, little wishes he hopes to witness someday.
Historically, a married pair must consummate their bond.
Malleus’s fingertips flit across your figure, feeling fabric beneath his palms. He tries to exercise restraint and take it slow—everything in moderation, Lilia would remind him—but he can’t contain his nympholepsy. Your clothes are discarded at once, shredded to scraps in his haste. He moves clumsily, following the searchlight of intrinsic ardor. You’re softer when bare, he observes, peeling your bra from your skin. A pallid hand presses down onto your breast, the pudge of which caves beneath his fingers. He withdraws and it bounces back to its shape.
Fascinating, he marvels with wide, enchanted eyes.
Claws tweak at your hardened nipples next. He’s careful because you’re notably weaker. Even in sleep, he must mind his hedonism. Too much and you will break. Too little and he’ll be left unsatisfied. Malleus watches your expression. It was mostly neutral, but now your eyebrows are twitching in response to his touch.
In sleep, you are the most vulnerable.
He knows this because he’s peered in from afar, admiring you through a glass barrier while you slept unaware in Ramshackle. He would never do anything without invitation. Though it may not be in writing, your body is oh-so-inviting. And he indulges because he’s only known this fervor in the deepest, darkest dreams.
Curiously, in his pursuit of passion, Malleus happens upon the special space between your legs. Delicate like a flower, it’s the prettiest part of your anatomy. If he wishes to connect with you, to tie himself to you in unholy communion, he must acquaint himself with this sliver of seventh heaven. He’s never seen one up close; the sight is foreign but very welcome. He drinks it in, burning your form into his retinas. Two fingers trace your labia, stroking along flowery folds in V-shaped strokes. You twitch in his arms, an unconscious, knee-jerk reaction.
At some point, in the middle of his experimental exploration, Malleus begins to hum. It’s a soft, genial lilt. Low and soothing, the lullaby fills the silent halls of Diasomnia’s common room like poison gas.
He contemplates whether this is enough. Can you feel these sensations even when you’re so deep in your dreams? Perhaps so, for when he brushes back the hood protecting your clit to rub at it you soak his fingers. Lubricious, your wetness shimmers on his fingertips when he pulls them away to admire the very essence of you. Without hesitation, he places his fingers on the pad of his tongue to clean both. It’s a divine taste, proof of pleasure.
You cannot speak, so instead your body does so for you. A most bewitching behavior.
Malleus’s hand slithers back towards home, his fingers sliding in with surprising ease. Gummy walls cling to slender digits, embracing the intrusion as if it’s meant to be. With each pump of his fingers, your body warms. The sinful squelch of scissoring fingers joins his humming in a salacious song. Every now and then, you spasm in his arms, your lips parting ever so slightly to release a sigh or a breathy moan. It’s musical, a whimsy he’s only just discovered.
“My beautiful bride,” Malleus croons, “you will know love in my arms. Love forevermore, here in this sanctuary. Fear not, for I have done away with all that may terrify and traumatize.”
Pressure is straining beneath the belt, an itch that must be promptly dealt with. Removing his fingers, he shifts you on his lap so that he may free his cocks from confinement. Twin monstrosities curve towards his stomach; perhaps you’d have been frightened if you were awake to behold them. His hand settles on the small of your back, steadying you as he lines one of them up with your body. The tip just reaches past your navel. For a moment, Malleus ponders whether he might break you.
Careful now, he can hear Lilia’s chiding. Impatience will lead to injury.
He heeds the unspoken warning, lifting you with both hands until the head of his cock is kissing your pussy. And then, slowly, he lowers you down onto him. Your pussy stretches around him, a snug squeeze that only grows tighter with every inch swallowed. Malleus pulls you flush against his chest when he’s halfway slotted, his breathing staggered. Your body quivers, walls fluttering around him, while his other unsheathed cock presses against your navel. Pre-cum smears on your stomach.
He’s determined to cherish you, thrusting all the way to the hilt after a few determined tries. It’s a firm fit, but it’s still bliss. Hissing through his teeth, brows knitted in concentration, Malleus wraps his arms around you and fucks. Mindless, mostly, but with the intent to reach the only acceptable end here: orgasmic ecstasy. He makes up for the lack of motion on your part by moving his hips to meet yours as he rocks you up and down. Whimpers slip past your lips; he shushes you with song, humming through groans and grunts.
This is love.
Malleus thinks so when he positions your hands over his other untouched cock. The illusion doesn’t last long because your hands are quick to fall away. Instead, he grasps your hand, guides it back to his shaft, and pumps himself using your precious palm for friction.
You’re bounced up and down in a parody of consensual copulation. Malleus dwells in imagination, picturing you in a wedding gown. He considers what you might say, the vows you would undoubtedly swear, and the sweet nothings you’d exchange late into the evening. He’d twirl you across an elegant ballroom while everyone looks on with tender adoration and reverence. He’d show you the stars hanging just within reach, and when you’re swept up in riveting romance the sky is tangible and dreams are spun from sugar.
He’d place you on his bed, stripping you of your dress, hands trailing up to tug the frilly garter from your thigh, and you’d smile at him, open your arms and welcome him with mutual affection. You’d bloom for him like a moonflower, your heart beating in sync with his, as he fulfills the final promise—one so bodily imperative. An oath to disturb desolate halls with noise. To hear the pitter-patter of tiny footfalls upon stone floors—he can’t imagine anything more harmonious.
You would soften throughout the months, bright with that foretold pregnancy glow. He would press his hands to your rounded belly and feel squirming within, restless kicks and nudges. You’d discuss potential names over breakfast, and he would hover even though he knows you’re plenty capable. But he worries because you’re so fragile and fleeting. So pretty. So round with child. He wouldn’t leave you alone for a moment; you’re far too enchanting. Perhaps, in some distant future, he’ll lower to the height of your stomach and sing to the baby.
A smile would tug at your lips and you’d reach down to pat his head, running your fingers over his horns. And then— 
Malleus cracks his eyes open, his breath hot against your face. His chest heaves as he comes down from the high of domestic daydreams to find your stomach spattered with cum. Swallowing thickly, he peers between your bodies at your pussy stretched around his other cock.
Oh, he came inside.
Unexpectedly. Or perhaps not, for this was his intention. But once is not nearly enough, and he must fill you until you’re fit to burst—until it’s biologically certain you’re pregnant.
An emotion flickers on your face. Malleus mistakes it for jubilation, the type which calls forth a sunshower on your cheeks. He kisses the tears trailing down your face, ending at your lips for a chaste peck.
This is not the finale. It is simply the beginning.
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loredrinker · 13 days ago
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The Eternal Bond of Solas and Lavellan 
My sister challenged me to explore the depth of Solas’s love for Lavellan in Veilguard—a love I believe endures, no matter his choices or the challenges they face. It’s a perspective I’ve seen debated often, with some arguing that if he truly loved her, he wouldn’t have left, or that her love alone should have been enough to change his path.
While many have already explored this topic, truthfully, it’s something I’ve thought about since finishing Veilguard and therefore, couldn’t pass up the challenge. This post is obviously through the romanced Lavellan lens.  
For context, my sister is a staunch Blackwall fan. She wasn’t exactly Solas’s biggest fan during her first Inquisition playthrough, but during subsequent runs, she softened. Eventually, my adoration for Solas won her over and she even played a run through where she romanced him, and found it bitter sweet (and then ran back to Blackwall). 
But before we dive in, there are a couple of things that I take into consideration in this breakdown: 
Solas’s decisions are shaped by millennia of experience and centuries of guilt and regret. He’s not just a guy making impulsive choices—he’s a being who’s lived through unimaginable pain and carried the weight of a broken world for ages. 
Solas is immortal. It’s easy for us, as mortals, to judge his actions through our limited, human perspective. But how can we truly understand the mind of someone who’s lived for thousands of years, seeing empires rise and fall, burdened with trauma, guilt, self-loathing, and the scars of war? 
That said, this mortal is going to give it a shot. Let’s go. A long post under the cut. 
Inquisition – the Foundation 
The seeds of Lavellan’s significance in Solas’s journey—and the path that could one day lead to his redemption—are planted during Inquisition. Lavellan challenges his detachment, offering him something he’s avoided for so long: a glimpse of the world as it is, rather than as it was. Through her, he begins to see beauty in what remains and starts to imagine a life connected to something other than regret and isolation. Her influence is foundational. 
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Solas’s love for Lavellan, and the transformation she inspires in him, doesn’t end with his departure. She lingers in his heart, shaping the internal conflict that is still to come.  
Trespasser 
The conversation between Solas and a romanced Lavellan in Trespasser is one of my favorite moments in the series. The different dialogue choices are filled with so much emotion and after two years apart, he still calls her vhenan and “my love.” 
Lavellan’s faith that their love will endure meets Solas’s sorrowful wish that it could. The weight of their connection is undeniable. Unable to resist, he takes one last, bittersweet kiss before saving her life by taking the Anchor. Even after the Inquisition disbands (in my world state), Solas doesn’t completely leave—he lingers, though in a way that’s both haunting and ethereal. 
The epilogue slides lay it out: 
"Lavellan sometimes came awake from dreams in which her lover watched her sadly from across an endless distance. If they were more than simple dreams, she could not say, for every time she reached for him, he vanished into nothing. Still she searched, and dreamed, and waited, for a way to change the Dread Wolf's heart." 
Even though they’re apart, his presence in her dreams shows the depth of his unresolved feelings. Watching her with sorrow from across an endless distance captures the conflict between his love for her and the path he’s chosen. Lavellan’s influence on him remains vivid and alive, a tether he can’t fully sever—even as he continues down his fateful road. 
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Veilguard – the Letter  
Lavellan’s presence lingers for Solas in Veilguard, years after Trespasser. Her influence is woven throughout the letter he writes for her. 
"Vhenan, I do not know if you will see these words." 
He calls no one else vhenan. Starting the letter with this deeply personal term immediately sets the emotional tone. Even after all the years they’ve been apart, Solas still addresses her as his heart, reaffirming that she’s his most profound connection. 
"My ritual is ready and will soon be set in motion. Perhaps when you read this the world will be as it once was, and you will see why all I did was necessary." 
Beneath the resolve of committing to his mission, is a quiet longing—a hope that Lavellan will understand and maybe even validate the choices that weigh so heavily on him. Her opinion still matters to him. 
What I particularly love is the phrase "...the world will be as it once was, and you will see...". Yes, it’s about his dream of restoring the beauty and harmony of the world he lost, but it also holds this fragile hope that she might still have a place in it. You can sense his desire to imagine a future where Lavellan remains part of his world—or his vision—despite the impossible circumstances. 
"That night in Crestwood, when I shared the truth about your vallaslin�� you do not know how close I came to breaking." 
This part in the letter is such a window into how that moment has stayed with him. It’s clear that it still resonates with him, even after all these years. The way he admits he almost abandoned everything for her shows just how deeply her love impacted him. The word "breaking" says it all—it’s not just about weakness. It speaks to the massive tension between his centuries-old resolve and the pull of his love for her. 
"I could have shared the truth, or even put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas...as I wanted." 
This confession is a raw admission of how much he wanted a life with her. The phrase "as I wanted" gives us a glimpse into an alternate reality he imagined, a life centered with Lavellan, one he ultimately denied himself for the sake of his mission. 
"What I feel for you will never change." 
This final line is everything. It’s Solas declaring that his love for Lavellan is eternal - because he is. Time, distance, guilt, and even the weight of centuries haven’t dulled what he feels for her. It also mirrors what he says to Lavellan in Trespasser, "I will never forget you." His devotion stands as this unshakable truth in a world full of loss and impermanence. 
Whether Lavellan forgives him, understands him, or even sees his words, the letter shows us a man still tethered.
Rook as a Conduit 
To me, Rook acts as a conduit for the voices that hold the most emotional weight for Solas—Lavellan and Mythal. Through Rook, we get to hear Solas talk about Lavellan directly, and what he says is just as revealing as the letter he left her.  
Solas: “When I served the Inquisition, I tried to avoid entanglements.” 
Rook: “Except for Inquisitor Lavellan.” 
Solas: “I said that I resolved to do so, not that I succeeded.” 
He went into his time with the Inquisition with a clear goal to stay detached. No bonds, no entanglements. But then Lavellan happened. Her love wasn’t something he could resist, no matter how much effort he put into maintaining his distance. 
Solas: “She is a good woman. Growing close to her was selfish of me.” 
When Solas calls Lavellan “a good woman,” it’s admiration and reverence. He doesn’t need to list her strengths outright; instead, his description of her as “good” reflects his personal definition of what that means. 
He also says “She is a good woman,” not “She was.” He’s speaking in the present tense. This small detail makes it clear that Lavellan isn’t just a memory to him or a closed chapter in his life. Even after years apart, she’s still a living, active presence in his heart and mind. He still holds her in respect and love. 
When he says growing close to her was selfish, he isn’t dismissing their bond. If anything, it’s a testament to how much he valued their connection, even though he knew it might ultimately cause her pain. 
Rook: “Do you regret it?” 
Solas: “I live with countless regrets. Some of them I have grown to cherish more than my victories.” 
This dialogue sums up just how much Lavellan means to Solas. He’s lived a long life filled with accomplishments that, more often than not, came with devastating consequences. But his relationship with Lavellan stands apart. That cherished regret tells us that his time with her brought him something no victory ever could: meaning, fulfillment, and joy. 
And then there’s the phrasing: “I have grown to cherish.” It’s also in the present tense. Lavellan’s impact on him isn’t just something from his past. It’s still alive, still deeply embedded in who he is.  
Lavellan holds a unique and enduring place in Solas’s heart. Even with all the pain and consequences of their relationship, she’s still a source of warmth and significance—a constant reminder of how deeply she mattered and still matters to him.  
Love Does Not Exist in Isolation 
I’ve seen comments out there that if Lavellan really mattered to Solas, her voice alone would’ve been enough to stop him from tearing down the Veil. I disagree. It’s clear that it takes a village to sway someone like Solas—a wounded immortal being carrying millennia of guilt and regret. Lavellan’s voice is absolutely foundational, but it’s part of a broader tapestry of influences that all come together at a critical moment. 
Solas’s decision to tear down the Veil doesn’t come from a lack of love for Lavellan. It’s rooted in overwhelming guilt and this deep sense of obligation to his people, to Mythal. Her voice matters because she was one of the first to challenge his beliefs. But hers alone couldn’t undo the weight and trauma of millennia. Voices like Mythal’s were necessary too. 
When Mythal releases Solas from her service, it’s a pivotal moment. It’s a severance of the bond that defined so much of his existence. For Solas, it’s freeing—but also incredibly painful. It forces him to reckon with his autonomy, to face the choices he’s made without the shield of loyalty to Mythal. For a man who’s been carrying so much self-loathing and regret, what a deeply uncomfortable and transformative moment. 
Then there’s Rook, who also plays a crucial role. Before Lavellan and Mythal appear, Rook is the one directly speaking to Solas, urging him to see the world and its people as worth saving. But once Lavellan (followed by Mythal) steps onto the stage, Rook falls silent. It’s as if they instinctively know their role has shifted. It’s no longer their place to persuade; that responsibility now belongs to Lavellan and Mythal.  
Of those voices, it is Lavellan’s that lingers as the last. She is the one who reminds Solas that their love is what truly matters. Hers is not just a plea for him to reconsider his mission—it’s an affirmation that even in the face of millennia, their love is a truth he can’t deny. 
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Through the Lens of Immortality 
For a mortal, it might be easy to see Solas’s love as fleeting because of how short-lived it was. What’s a year and a bit compared to thousands of years?  But for an immortal being—and someone as spiritual as Solas – I would think the depth of a bond matters more than how long it lasts. Solas’s love for Lavellan isn’t diminished by how brief their time together was; if anything, it’s magnified by its intensity—a flicker of light cutting through the endless darkness of his existence.  
And for someone who’s immortal, memories don’t fade the way they would for us mortals. Lavellan’s influence on Solas will stay vivid and eternal, untouched by time. Even though their time together was short, her presence is etched into who he is. Her love became this cornerstone of his internal struggle—something he wrestled with but couldn’t fully let go of. He almost gave it all up for her.
For an immortal, loving a mortal is a whole different kind of courage. It’s choosing to embrace something fleeting and fragile, knowing it will end. And still, Solas chose to love Lavellan. A bright chapter in a life that’s otherwise been filled with pain, loneliness, and time stretching endlessly in every direction. 
So yeah, she matters. 
At least, that’s how I see it. 
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vi-steponmeplease · 12 days ago
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YOU'RE LOSING ME
pairings - overwhelmed!billie x caring!reader
genre - angst, fluff near the end
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synopsis: billie returns from a week-long trip to korea, leading to an intense argument that threatens your relationship.
tw: slight emotional abuse, relationship conflict, reader and billie are in an established relationship, billie calls reader clingy
word count: 2.7K
and the air is thick with loss and indecision i know my pain is such an imposition
i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier
✩₊˚.⋆🕸️⋆⁺₊✧
As the first rays of sunlight stream through the curtains, you slowly open your eyes, your vision blurry for a few seconds as you gaze out the window. Extending your arm, you touch the empty spot on the sheets beside you—cold and untouched.
Your girlfriend Billie has been in Korea for what feels like forever, though it’s only been a week. Her long-awaited album just dropped, and she’s been consumed with interviews and appearances. She hasn’t been responding to your texts much, leaving you feeling lonely. Still, you remind yourself how hard she’s working and try not to let it bother you too much.
Pulling yourself out of bed, you shuffle to the bathroom, turning on the tap to run a warm bath. Back in your room, you grab the hoodie Billie gave you before she left. Her signature scent still lingers, drawing a small, bittersweet smile to your face as your chest tightens with longing. You slip it on over matching sweatpants, preparing for a strawberry-scented bath to shake off the ache of missing her.
Today’s the day Billie finally comes home. The thought brings a flicker of excitement, breaking through the gloom of the past week. You've been counting down the hours, longing for the moment you'd see her walk through the door, ready to wrap her in your arms. You’d planned everything—dinner, her favorite movie, and the kind of quiet, comforting night you know she loves.
You’ve spent the whole morning searching Instagram for recipes, carefully selecting her favorites. After your bath, you tie your hair up into a ponytail and get to work, letting the rhythmic hum of a Clairo playlist fill the air.
Two hours pass, and you’ve prepared mashed potatoes, a fresh salad, and a pot of pasta with vegan meatballs. The table is set, the living room prepared, and her favorite movie is paused on the TV.
At about 6 PM, the sound of keys jangling at the door makes your heart leap as you set two plates on the coffee table. You rush to greet her, a bright smile on your face as the door swings open. There she is—Billie, standing with her luggage in hand, looking as stunning as ever.
“Hey,” she says, her voice soft but distant, her expression tired.
“Hi, baby,” you reply warmly. “I missed you.”
“Me too,” she says, forcing a small smile. But there’s no hug, no kiss, no affectionate greeting. Your stomach knots at the coldness in her demeanor.
“How was your trip?”
“Busy. Lots of interviews.” Her tone is flat, almost disinterested as she runs a hand through her black hair.
“I made you dinner,” you say, stepping aside to reveal the table you’d prepared. The sight of her favorite dishes and the movie queued up for the night should’ve brought a smile to her face, but instead, she sighs, rubbing her forehead.
“That’s great, baby, but I think I’ll pass.”
Your smile falters, but you quickly push aside the sting, which is instantly overpowered by your care. Checking on her is one of your priorities, and you know her well. You two have been together for a year and a half, so by now, you can immediately tell when something's wrong. “Are you okay? You seem... off.”
“I’m just tired,” Billie mutters, avoiding your gaze.
“Well, we can relax on the couch, eat something, watch the movie—”
“I wanna be alone, Y/N,” she interrupts sharply. Her tone cuts through you, the weight of her words hitting harder than you expect. “You’re going to want to cuddle and... I’m just not in the mood.”
“Oh.” The hurt threatens to spill over, but you swallow it down. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t do that,” she snaps, crossing her arms as her piercing gaze meets your confused expression. “Don’t guilt-trip me like this.”
“I’m not trying to guilt-trip you,” you reply softly. “I just—”
“Just drop it, okay?” she says firmly.
You hesitate, but something inside you refuses to let it go. “Okay, no. You don’t get to treat me like this after I’ve spent all day trying to make things nice for you. I know you’re tired, but that doesn’t mean you can push me away.”
“I didn’t ask you to do any of this,” Billie says, gesturing dismissively at the table. “You’re the one who went overboard.”
“Because I care about you,” you argue, stepping closer. “Because I wanted to make you feel better after a long week. All I wanted was to spend some time together, but apparently, that’s too much to ask.”
Billie’s eyes narrow. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?” You throw your hands up in frustration. “You’ve barely answered my texts, you’ve been distant all week, and now you’re acting like I’m the problem for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend.”
You almost can't recognize the person in front of you. Is this why she'd been so cold lately? Usually, after long trips like this, she'd get extremely clingy, refusing to leave your side while repeatedly claiming how much she'd missed you and peppering your face with a billion kisses.
"I've been busy, Y/N. You can't expect me to be on my phone 24/7," she argues, a frustrated groan slipping out. "What, are you gonna strangle me for doing my job?"
"Billie," you resolutely call out as you cross your arms defensively. "When have I ever not been understanding to your circumstances? I know how hard you work, and I know your job means you gotta travel around the world. And I've always been okay with that."
She lets out a dry laugh, her tone dripping with exasperation. "So, why are you acting so goddamn needy right now?"
The word hits like a slap. She knows how much that word cuts you, how deeply it taps into your insecurities.
"Why are you being so unbearable right now?" you retort, matching the volume of her tone. Not yelling, but not calm either.
"Just stop it. You're making a big deal out of nothing—"
"No, I'm not. Stop trying to make me sound crazy."
You make your way to the kitchen and grab a glass cup from the dish rack, filling it up with cold water before taking a sip. Your throat had begun to to run dry since you haven't eaten or had anything to drink all day. "You could've been nicer about it. Why are you acting surprised and attacking me for wanting to spend time with you after a week apart?"
billie follows you and leans against the counter, feigning indifference as you stare at her from the other side of the kitchen, your eyes scorching with fury. "A week's not that long."
You scoff after setting the cup on the counter in front of you. "Yeah, says you who literally couldn't wait for me to come home after I slept over at my sister's house for two days."
"That's different." She rolls her eyes and prods her tongue against the inside of her cheek. The audacity leaves you speechless for a second before you regain your composure.
"What changed?" You shake your head in disbelief as you replay the memories of the sweet nothings she would whisper in your ear after being gone for so long. Whether she'd be gone on tour for a month, or if she'd just go visit her parents and Finneas for the weekend, she'd always return to you. "Why are you acting so weird?"
Billie lets out a pained sigh as she shuts her eyes tightly, hoping this moment would just disappear. This is the first time you've seen her show a single emotion other than apathy the whole time she's been back. "I think..." she trails off, not knowing how to correctly word the sentence on the tip of her tongue.
"You think what?" you ask, growing a little impatient as you watch her part her lips again.
"I can’t do this anymore,” she says, the words spilling out like venom. “I think we need a break.”
Your eyes widen and your jaw goes slack. "What the fuck?"
Rounding the corner of the counter, you gently reach out to hold her hands, but she withdraws herself and steps further away. The room seems to tilt as her words sink in. "Where the hell is this coming from?"
“I just... I can’t be in a relationship right now. It’s too much.”
Your voice breaks as tears blur your vision. “Billie, please. We can figure this out—”
“It’s not up to you,” she says, her tone colder than you’ve ever heard it.
“Don’t do this,” you plead. Never in a million years did you picture tonight ending this way, with you practically begging her to take you back.
She steps back, shaking her head, her emotionless blue orbs meet yours, damp and red. “I need space.”
"If you just listened when I told you to leave me alone earlier, this wouldn't be happening right now." Billie's voice rises, although she's never yelled at you before. Every time you two would argue, she'd still try her best to steer clear of doing or saying anything she might regret afterwards.
"Don't you fucking blame me," you yell back, your knuckles turning white as you tighten your grip on the edge of the counter. "I just wanted to spend the night with my girlfriend after being away from each other for so long. You're the one who—"
She lets out another humorless chuckle as she steps forward, leaning closer until your faces are mere inches apart. "Say one more fucking word and I'm never coming home again." She watches your furious expression falter as your eyebrows scrunch together, a crease forming in your forehead. You remain silent and that's when she pulls back. "That's what I fucking thought."
You lower your gaze as she moves out of your view, striding towards your shared bedroom. All you hear is the sound of her footsteps padding across the ceramic floor tiles and trailing further from where you helplessly stand, before you hear the door slam. The sound reverberates through the house, leaving you frozen in place.
Your reticence lingers for a few minutes, almost as if you're too afraid to utter a single word or she'd walk out on you. A quiet sob escapes your lips when your legs give out and you slump onto a stool, burying your face in your hands as the tears finally fall.
The food's cold. It's all you can think about.
The food you spent all of last night planning out, and most of today to make. It's cold. Untouched.
Her words from earlier hit you like cinder blocks. The weight of each sentence uttered makes your heart sink further into your chest as if it's been attached to an anchor.
Questions flood your mind, each one heavier than the last. What went wrong? Was it something you did? How long has she felt this way?
You sit there for hours, drowning in your thoughts, wondering if she’s lying awake like you are, or if she’s already moved on—emotionally gone from what once felt unbreakable.
This isn't something she'd ever normally do. Billie's the most gentle person, especially with you. She'd never do anything to hurt you.
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Hues of red and orange begin to spill through the living room window, painting the walls with soft, warm light. You take a shaky breath, turning your head to the window. The sunrise is breathtakingly beautiful—an ironic contrast to the emotional storm you've just endured through one of the worst nights of your life.
You sniffle quietly, wiping away the lingering tears with the back of your hand, your lips trembling from the strain of holding back sobs.
In the bedroom, Billie sits on the edge of the bed, knees drawn to her chest as she stares blankly at the wall. The faint light of the bedside lamp reflects the glimmer of dried tears streaked across her cheeks. She hadn’t bothered to turn it off, too lost in her own thoughts. Her lips are pressed into a remorseful line, her usual confidence replaced with raw guilt. She knows she messed up—knows she acted ungrateful when all you wanted was her.
A heavy sigh escapes her as she swings her legs over the side of the bed, forcing herself to get up. Thirst claws at her throat, but so does the anxiety of facing you. Deep down, she half-expects you to be gone by now—out of the house and her life for good after everything she said. But as she shuffles into the living room, Billie’s breath catches when she sees you still there, perched on the same stool by the counter where she’d left you hours ago.
Her stomach twists as she takes in your figure: slouched shoulders, tired eyes, and the faint, broken sniffles that fill the otherwise silent space. Each sound cuts deeper into her chest. She hesitates for a moment, her hand twitching as she reaches out, wanting to comfort you, but unsure if she even deserves to. Slowly, she steps closer, finally giving in to the ache in her heart.
Tentatively, Billie wraps her arms around you from behind. You flinch slightly, startled by the touch, a quiet gasp escaping your lips. It's the last thing you expected.
“I’m so fucking sorry, baby. You have no idea,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. Her grip tightens as though afraid you might slip away. “I don’t know what got into me last night. I never should’ve yelled at you or called you needy. You just wanted to be with me, and I—I was awful. I’m sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did.”
Your chest heaves, struggling to regulate your breathing. You can’t bring yourself to speak, the lump in your throat too heavy. After a long beat of silence, Billie pulls back slightly, moving to face you. Gently, she tilts your chin up, her heart sinking when she sees the toll her words took on you—your puffy, tear-streaked face, trembling lips, and bloodshot eyes.
Her hands cup your cheeks, her thumbs brushing away the dampness. “I did this to you,” she says, her voice barely audible, as if scolding herself. “I made you cry.”
“Was I… too much?” you croak, your voice cracking. The question hangs in the air, fragile and weighted with insecurity. “Too clingy?”
Billie’s brows knit tightly, and she shakes her head vehemently. “No. Never. You’re never too much, love. I’m so sorry.” She rests her forehead against yours, her voice soft but firm. “I’ll never lash out at you like that again. I promise.”
“It’s seven,” you whisper hoarsely, your voice still trembling.
Her eyes widen slightly. “You spent all night here crying?”
You nod wordlessly, and she exhales shakily, guilt washing over her anew. Without hesitation, Billie takes your hands, guiding you off the stool. “Come on,” she murmurs gently, leading you back toward the bedroom. As the door shuts softly behind you, she repeats, “I’m so sorry.”
You chuckle faintly, the sound raw and tired. “You’ve said that a billion times.”
“And I’ll say it a trillion more if that’s what it takes,” she replies, her lips curving into a soft smile as she wraps her arms securely around your waist. Her tone grows tender. “I love you. You’re never, ever too much for me.”
The warmth of her words soothes your aching heart, though the memory of the night still lingers. “You said you wanted a break,” you remind her, your voice a fragile whisper.
“I don’t,” she says quickly, her gaze earnest. “I was overwhelmed and stressed with everything. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That’s on me.” Her fingers gently tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, her touch featherlight. “But I don’t want a break. I want you. I'm sor—"
You shake your head, letting out a fragile laugh. “If you apologize again, I swear—”
Billie cuts you off with a soft, passionate kiss, pouring every ounce of regret and love into the moment. Your hands instinctively move to her shoulders, pulling her closer, grounding yourself in her warmth.
When she finally pulls away, she rests her forehead against yours, her blue eyes shining with affection and sincerity. “Let’s get some sleep, baby,” she whispers, her voice like a balm to your soul.
And for the first time that night, you feel the weight on your chest begin to lift.
478 notes · View notes
acciotaitlynn · 1 month ago
Note
Xavier following you around begging for forgiveness, interfering with your dates, etc after you break up with him because he chose mc to save instead of you but he regrets it now plzzzzzz? 🥺
Hiii! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ I hope it's okay that this is spicy! Xavikitty's got me really worked up 😩💦 This healed something in me fr. Thank you for requesting!
→ xavier༝you ꒰sylus is your bestie꒱
→ 18+, unprotected sex, vsex, marking/claiming, fingering, masturbation, oral;꒰fem!receiving꒱ angst, overstim, angel/baby/good girl used, ⋆˙⟡ reader is not mc from lads
→ wc: 9k
→ pt.2
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It plays on an endless loop in Xavier’s head—he remembers pushing you into harm's way to protect her. He shuts his eyes, steeling himself as the memory flares up like a haunting specter, nausea twisting at its force.
How can he possibly make you understand? After countless lifetimes dedicated to protecting Mai, it’s become instinctual, as natural as breathing. He’s devoted himself to placing her life above all else, including his own, to the point where it requires no conscious thought. His body moves according to her needs, like weary clay molded to her unyielding will.
Typically, keeping her safe fills him with immense pride and joy. She’s the center of his existence—the one thing he’s never once regretted dedicating himself to.
He’s unsure when that began to change. Perhaps it was the first moment he laid eyes on you. He remembers it vividly… 
You stood beside Mai, the woman he’s always considered the most beautiful soul in the world, yet all he could see was you. A soft, surprised inhale escaped him as he caught your radiant gaze. Then his eyes wandered over your form, drawn to the uniform that hugged your curves in all the right places—curves that stirred a long-buried ache in him, a longing he’d almost forgotten existed.
Captain Jenna assigned you to the Unicorns team, instructing them to show you the ropes during your first few months. Much to Mai's dismay, Xavier took a shine to you. You both hit it off instantly, diving into animated discussions about books, video games, and anime that last for hours. 
Xavier changes around you. It's a stark contrast from his usual aloof demeanor; he becomes like an overeager puppy, radiating a cheerful, youthful energy that draws you in. You make him feel alive, his soul buzzing with excitement whenever you're around.
Then there's Mai. The lingering touches and flirtations between her and Xavier are familiar yet futile. He feels something for her—his body still heats up when she’s near, and the butterflies flutter in his stomach whenever she hugs him. But you? You make his heart race to the point where he can't think straight. You ignite a spark in him that he’s hesitant to acknowledge, filling him with light and hope. 
With Mai, it’s different. While she makes him happy, the constant chase for something unachievable cloaks their moments in a bittersweet melancholy, even during the brightest times. A nagging question lingers in his mind—is he starting to care for you so deeply that it’s overshadowing his feelings for her? Is that even possible?
Mai has consumed his thoughts and desires for as long as he can remember. He struggles to disentangle himself from her, even against his will. But ever since that first mission together, you’ve carved a place in his psyche that’s too significant to ignore. 
Unbeknownst to him, his changes around you are glaringly obvious. And you can't help but smirk at how annoyed it makes Mai. She does her best to keep you away from him, often splitting up during missions to maintain her hold. She sits closer to Xavier, throwing you daggers with her glares, her flirtations with him seemingly growing bolder by the day. 
Currently, her arm is draped over his shoulders as she whispers into his ear. As your eyes meet Xavier’s, warmth blooms in his gaze, only to falter when you quickly look away.
It’s only been three days since he pushed you in front of that wanderer without a second thought, pulling Mai away as though her safety was paramount. Mai executed her plan with precision, positioning herself between you and the threat when Xavier was distracted to force a choice upon him. It was meant to convey that he ultimately belongs to her.
You've asked him to avoid speaking to you unless it’s work-related, and even then, you prefer silence. His gentle voice feels like a sharp knife cutting deep into your resolve. Just one more month, and you can escape this toxic duo for good.
Watching Mai cling to him is torture—some sort of cruel cosmic punishment for an unknown transgression. Every place her hands linger is a spot you crave for yourself. Your desire for Xavier has burned since the moment you laid eyes on him. It’s evident he shares that longing, how his gaze roams over you when he thinks you’re not looking, and how he blushes fiercely at the simplest of touches.
You just don’t understand it. You know their heartbreaking history; Sylus filled you in. Giving up on something you've worked so hard for is a monumental challenge. Still, they don’t joke and laugh like you do. His eyes don’t light up for her the way they do for you; that deep cerulean gaze doesn’t trace her form with the same heat anymore. He no longer seeks her out or reciprocates her touches. In fact, he’d likely forget her entirely if she weren’t always throwing herself at him. 
So, why doesn’t he draw a line? Why won’t he create the boundary he so obviously needs? It’s maddening. 
You wish for the patrol minutes to fly by so you can escape, grab a few drinks, and retreat to the safety of binge-watching anime, where you can finally process your feelings. 
Your friend’s ringtone cuts through your frustration as Mai nuzzles into Xavier, earning a grimace from him as he pulls back slightly. The deep voice on the other end of your phone call soothes your irritation like crisp, smoky whiskey. 
“Sylus,” you breathe, relief washing over you at the welcome distraction. You hadn’t realized how much you needed it until now.
“You sound upset, sweetie. Is a certain naughty kitten causing you some frustration again?” he teases, referring to the skank currently toeing Xavier’s thigh. You glance around, taking in the scene around you, and it only intensifies your disgust. It's a crowded street, and she just pops her boot off and goes for it.
“It would be great if you could come take her away. for like, ever,” you mumble grumpily.
"But then you might miss me," he drawls, a hint of mischief in his voice.
"That's why video chat exists," you reply, rolling your eyes.
Mai knows exactly who’s on the other end of that line, but her confidence in your friendship with Sylus keeps her at ease. She knows you don’t stand in the way of her claim on him. Instead, she leans closer to Xavier, her fingers tracing lazy shapes along his arm, a suggestive grin plastered on her face. 
Yet it’s a futile effort. Xavier is hanging on your every word, his focus unwavering. His remains unreadable as you assure Sylus you'll arrive soon.
Finally, the clock strikes midnight. Unfortunately, you’ve ridden here with Mai, as your car is in the shop. You contemplate how to ask for a lift, but before you can gather the courage, Xavier swiftly breaks free from Mai’s grasp and gently guides you toward his car.
Your brow furrows in confusion. “Xavier!” Mai's voice drips with irritation as she tries to pull him back.
He dodges her intervention, a determined look in his eyes. “Don’t you need a ride?” he asks, keeping his gaze steady on you.
Mai’s stunned expression is almost comical, but Xavier doesn’t give her the satisfaction of a response. He’s not about to subject you to another awkward ride with her, especially when he can’t shake the unsettled feeling that gnaws at him at the thought of you having dinner with Sylus. How easily you seemed to relax upon receiving his call is driving Xavier mad. 
As Mai seethes next to her bike, Xavier’s focus remains ahead, his expression calm, but his grip on the steering wheel is white-knuckled. You angle toward the window, crossing your arms and letting the scenery blur past. Irritation bubbles just beneath the surface, and you can’t help but murmur, “Escaping your master’s leash. Impressive.” 
He glances at you, a sad smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, but then he turns his gaze back to the road, leaving the tension hanging in the air between you.
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Sylus is waiting when you pull up, propped casually against the bar’s porch, with a cigarette in hand and a knowing glint in his eyes as he watches you arrive. Xavier seems poised to say something, but you hop out of the car before he can get the words out, striding straight past Sylus and tossing a casual “What’s up?” over your shoulder.
You miss the way Sylus shoots a glance at Xavier—a look that says, “You better behave.” He has no grudge against the hunter; Mai chose Sylus, so what was there for him to resent? That was until Xavier started hurting you.
“I seriously don’t understand what you see in her,” you mutter as Sylus takes a seat, prompting a chuckle from him and a playful ruffle of your hair.
“I find it all part of her charm,” he shoots back with a grin.
With an exasperated sigh, you focus on getting drunk enough to forget Xavier. That task feels daunting until Sylus volunteers for karaoke, his performance drowning out your worries. When he flops back down at the table, he wears a broad grin, eyes sparkling.
“Good, right?” he asks, confidence overflowing, and it takes all your restraint not to tease him.
He’s sensitive about his singing. So, you lean in with your best serious face. “So good, Sy. You’ve gotten even better!”
His ego balloons as he settles back into the booth, nodding appreciatively as he says, “Truly.”
Carmine eyes brightened by the drinks, his flushed face scans the room, and you can’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance at how effortlessly beautiful he looks when he lets loose. Just once, you wish he’d look bad, allowing you to be the cute one in the friendship.
Noticing your irritated appraisal, Sylus chuckles, his arm draping over the booth. He shoots you a mock, severe look. “Better not let your hunter catch you looking at me like that, sweetie. Or Mai, for that matter.”
You snort, rolling your eyes. “Your head is getting bigger. Seriously, it might be wider than your shoulders by now.”
But his smile vanishes, replaced by concern as he studies you. “How are you holding up?”
Your gentle smile reflects your appreciation for his genuine concern. Sylus can be a pain, but he also knows how to be a great friend. “I’m okay, I guess. If your girl gets any more hands-on, though…” You narrow your eyes at him like it’s his fault. “Doesn’t it bother you that she’s all over him lately?”
He shrugs nonchalantly, tossing back a shot. “Sweetie, look at me, then at him—what’s there to worry about?”
Your scoff drips with sarcasm, enough to irk him. He raises an eyebrow and playfully kicks your ankle, smirking as you wince and curse loudly enough to catch others' attention. But soon, his worry returns, his voice softening as he tries to comfort you. “You know their history, dove. Surely, you can see that letting her go will be nearly impossible for him. I warned you about this.”
He did warn you, and you didn’t listen. Now you wish you had. You gave him a tender smile and a reassuring pat on his hand, murmuring, “I know. I just need time to accept it.”
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Mission accomplished—both you and Sylus are sufficiently drunk as you head out, making plans for him to drop you off at your place. You’re busy teasing Mephisto, who’s perched on Sylus’s shoulder. His irritated nip catches your attention, and you notice Xavier’s car is still parked outside. 
Xavier knows you can see him, but you turn away, hopping on Sylus’s bike as he takes off. Guilt and irritation bubble within him as he hits the dashboard, cursing softly while watching you disappear into the distance.
When did he start hating Sylus for being near you rather than for being near Mai? As he contemplates, he realizes their relationship hasn’t bothered him lately. He’s certain he heard them banging last night from his apartment, and he couldn’t have cared less. All that consumed his mind was how to show you how sorry he is. 
After a while, his imagination ran wild, turning Mai’s cries of pleasure into thoughts of you, your sweet voice calling out in ecstasy.  His desire grew painfully as he imagined you beneath him, gripping himself tightly as he came hard enough to see stars, all while dealing with the guilt of betraying your trust.
Earlier, words had failed him, bound tight by guilt and nerves. He doesn’t know how to make you understand, but he has to try; the thought of seeing you in pain any longer is unbearable. The need to wrap you in his arms and kiss away that adorable frown grows stronger daily.
The hope of taking you home and getting a chance to try again disappears with your retreating silhouette. He groans in frustration, his head hitting the steering wheel as exhaustion trickles over him.
He’s an absolute mess. He can’t eat or sleep—two of his favorite things. Even meat doesn’t hold appeal right now. He’s miserable. 
Helplessly, he follows you and Sylus, watching your figures from his car as you sit in front of the TV.  Eventually, though, he leaves, knowing knocking on your door in the middle of the night to fall on his knees and apologize isn’t a realistic option unless he wants you to see just how much he’s falling apart over this.
At some point, you fall asleep, and Sylus covers you up before heading out. Both you and Xavier hope for relief in your dreams, but instead, your dreams are haunted by each other’s presence.
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Mai has taken the day off to accompany Sylus on a business deal, and as much as you hate to admit it, you miss her. It would have been nice if Sylus had taken you along instead, leaving her here to make Xavier as miserable as you are.
Once upon a time, the thought of being alone with him on a mission filled you with excitement, practically keeping you awake the night before from sheer nerves. Now, you do your best to ignore him, walking just out of reach.
He kicks a rock, a quiet sigh escaping his lips. “We should head back soon; it’s getting late. We can look for the protocore again tomorrow.”
Guilt bubbles up in you at the melancholy lacing his voice. You nod and gesture toward a nearby Wanderer, saying, “Let’s take that one down and head out.”
The two of you fight seamlessly, your movements flowing together in a rhythm more exquisite than what he shares with Mai—something that seems to stun him every time. Without realizing it, he’s started gravitating toward you during battles, often having to forcibly pull himself back to her side.
A fresh pang of guilt gnaws at him, a feeling of drifting further away from what he’s always believed to be his purpose in life. He feels so lost, and there’s only one direction he longs to run in.
When did you become his guiding star?
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The trip home is the most awkward car ride you’ve ever endured, the air thick with unease. You let out a long sigh, adjusting your seat as you turn up the volume on Mozart's Symphony No. 41, the "Jupiter" movement, hoping the music can cut through the oppressive silence. The soothing notes help ease Xavier's anxiety a bit, which in turn allows you to relax as the tension around you fades—if only slightly.
But as he parks in front of your place and kills the engine, the uncomfortable atmosphere returns with full force. Every part of you longs to bolt inside, terrified of the conversation that looms ahead. You know what’s coming. He’ll look at you with those beautiful, earnest eyes and say he’s sorry, genuinely believing it, but that apology will only sharpen the pain. If he genuinely cared, he wouldn’t have put you in harm’s way. If you mattered to him, he would have shown it when it counted.
You look away, remaining still in a silent invitation for him to speak.
His soft voice slices through the tension, murmuring, “I’m so sorry.”
Another wave of silence washes over you, anger surging beneath the surface—a force that takes all your strength to suppress. You shake your head in disbelief, your nails digging into your palms as you seek relief from the emotional turmoil. Pain to drown out the pain.
He notices, gently taking your hand, unfurling your fingers, and placing them back in your lap. Your body responds to his touch, a raw ache begging for more, while a part of you screams in frustration. Shooting him a glare, you cross your arms tightly, fighting against the tears welling up.
“Don’t touch me, Xavier.” Your voice is low and firm—an order that conflicts with the desperate plea of your heart, urging you to draw him closer.
His face falls, shoulders slumping as his hand drops to his lap. “Okay,” he whispers, the hurt in his voice cracking your heart a little more. You reach for him, then quickly pull back.
Searching your face, he pleads, “May I have a moment to explain? I know it won’t help, but—”
You grab your bag, cutting him off. “No need; Sylus took care of it. You chase her across the cosmos, hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t deserve you. I'm caught up. Thank you for the apology, though. Really,” you say softly, closing the door behind you. As you walk away, you can almost feel the weight of his regret lingering in the air.
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A date at Meow’s Cafe, surrounded by adorable miniature cats, should be a delightful experience. Yet today, it feels heavy with the weight of Xavier’s absence. It’s your first time here without him, and everything is off; the playful mews of the kitties have lost their charm, grating on your nerves instead, while the usually vibrant atmosphere feels dull and lifeless.
The man sitting across from you is undeniably attractive, with dark, wavy hair, a chiseled jawline, and a smile that promises excitement and chaos. You can’t help but appreciate the way his fingers linger a moment too long on your skin or the longing glint in his eyes. Yet, the ache of Xavier’s absence lingers, casting a shadow over your attempts to enjoy the moment.
Excusing yourself to the restroom, you scrub your hands, your thoughts lingering on thoughts of him. Just as you’re about to shake the memories away, his soft voice—almost a whisper—brushes against your ear. “Does he play as well as me?”
You can almost feel the tension radiating from him, the palpable mix of frustration and jealousy. Xavier’s emotions swirl around him, creating a glow that’s impossible to ignore. Watching you with someone else, someone who seems to draw you in far too easily, has shattered something within him. 
As you turn, you’re startled to find him standing there, his presence commanding and intense. His cheeks are flushed, his breaths quickening, and his hooded blue eyes betray a storm of feelings: anger, grief, desire, and a potent possessiveness that sends a thrilling shiver down your spine.
You fight to maintain your composure, voice steady as you ask, “What are you doing here?” Tara set this date up for you just yesterday, assuring you that it would help you forget about Xavier. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen.
He closes the distance between you in a heartbeat, his lips grazing your cheek as he pushes you gently against the wall. For a moment, his tender touch makes you forget all about the boundaries you've set.
“What are you—”
He cups your cheek, kissing you so softly it nearly steals your breath away. “There aren’t words to express how sorry I am,” he murmurs, his forehead resting against yours, thumb brushing away your unshed tears as you stand frozen, torn between pushing him away and kissing him again.
You allow his lips to skim your neck, cursing your body’s betrayal when you feel an intense warmth spread through you at just the brush of his breath on your skin. 
“If I could do it over, I wouldn’t make the same choice,” he confesses, his eyes lifting to meet yours with sincerity. The truth in his words shakes him to his core—given another chance, he would choose you without hesitation.
Reality crashes over you, jarring you from his spell. You pull away, a sad, pitying look crossing your face. “Yes, you really would,” you reply quietly, determination solidifying your resolve as you stride out of the cafe with your date in tow.
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Your date's name is Ash, but it feels irrelevant; he’s merely a means to an end, a warm body to help work out your frustrations. A pretty placeholder whose touch you imagine belongs to Xavier—a delicious fantasy until you accidentally murmur Xavier’s name, and the atmosphere grows awkward. 
Left alone, forced to find release on your own. Visions of Xavier’s cock filling you up while his beautiful gaze locks with yours consume your mind. You’re a mess of whimpers, chanting his name in a prayer that fills the stillness of your room as you ride an orgasm so powerful it borders on pain. Despite its overwhelming intensity, it does nothing to ease the ache that demands you give in to him, insisting on your claim in every way possible.
It disgusts you how you can still want someone who causes you so much pain, someone who can never care for you like you care for him. 
Your phone pings, lighting up with a message—from Xavier. He hasn’t texted you since that fateful mission, and you kick yourself at the happiness the sudden communication brings you.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Next, a video comes through, sending your phone flying across the carpet as a shriek leaves you. Your hand claps over your mouth in shock, and you immediately rush to retrieve it, relentless desire flooding you at the image on the screen.
Xavier reclines on a sofa with his legs spread wide, his black button-up open to show off his lean, sculpted form. He frees his cock—so hard it looks painful. He must be super sensitive because the moment his hand wraps around himself, he lets out a needy little whimper that curls your toes.
You wish more than anything to take him in your mouth, to taste the pretty beads of precum that make his movements slick and sloppy.
Your stunned murmur of, “W-what is happening…” sounds so horrified and horny that it's comical.
Your fingers move almost of their own accord, slipping deep inside you to match his rhythm. You prop your phone up so your free hand can trail over your body, pinching and rolling your nipples as your breath quickens alongside his. You hate yourself for every touch, but you can’t stop. Your attention latches onto him and nothing else, unable to look away, even if what’s about to happen ends up ruining you. 
His grip firms instantly as if aware of your reaction, and he strokes himself faster. His head kicks back, his eyes slam shut, and a low groan escapes him. “I’m picturing myself inside you,” he admits, “Imagining laying claim to every inch of your body and soul.”
His gaze pierces through the camera, earnest and pleading, his blue eyes shining with unfathomable need.
“You think I wouldn’t make a different choice if given the chance, but you’re wrong. Besides fucking you, regret is a constant on my mind, relentlessly replaying as I watch myself make the stupidest choice of my life.” He lays his head back again, keeping his eyes on the camera as he languidly strokes himself, continuing, “Centuries of longing for and chasing after Mai, of dedicating my very existence to her, and then you come along and turn my entire world upside down with just a smile. You make me want to give up everything I believe in to be with you.”
His words trail off as his movements become frantic. With an incoherent mumble, he says, “I bet you’re so tight… so warm. Are you wet for me, angel? I hope so… W-will you cum with me?” The plea in his voice is unmistakable.
You whimper, nodding frantically, your pussy squeezing your fingers as his filthy words spur you on.
Your gaze flits over his body, unable to settle as your pleasure builds. He’s so pretty—his face flushed, sweat beading on his skin, his cerulean eyes burning bright. A whiny, needy repetition of your name leaves his lips as cum covers his hand and stomach, sending you hurtling into your own release.
Shame fills you when the pleasure subsides. His face moves closer to the camera, and he softly murmurs, “I really miss you,” effectively ripping your heart out and stomping on it before the video cuts off, an unsettling silence filling the air. You want to scream and cry, and most frustratingly, you want a second round with the most significant thing ever filmed.
A sudden realization hits you, and you groan, stuffing your face into a pillow with a muted scream. Work tomorrow is going to be so awkward.
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Thank the gods your car is finally back from the shop. An immense sense of relief washes over you, knowing you won’t have to endure another ride with Xavier after what happened last night—or, possibly even worse, with Mai.
However, that relief quickly evaporates as you arrive at work and see Xavier striding toward you. He boldly brushes your hair back and leans in close, whispering, “Did you enjoy yourself last night? I know I did,” his smile warm and inviting.
He takes your chin and tilts your face, his voice soft as he confesses, “I’ve never felt so good. Not even at the thought of Mai.” You squeak in surprise, instinctively pulling away.
Xavier has decided he’s done fighting his feelings for you. The hesitation about the changes this could bring to his life—and the guilt that comes with it—is gone. He wants you more than anything, and now he’s determined to show you just how much.
As you walk side by side on patrol, his soft voice fills the air with light-hearted musings and playful teasing, yet you constantly remind yourself why you must keep your distance.
Meanwhile, Mai glares daggers from behind, trying desperately to distract Xavier at every opportunity. She attempts to hold his hand at one point, batting her lashes with a cute little pout. But he quickly pulls away, brushes your arm tenderly, and continues walking by your side. 
A warmth spreads in your heart, and you can’t help but worry about how easily he’s breaking down the walls you’ve built around yourself.
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Mai’s cheerful voice grates on Xavier’s nerves as he struggles to finish his paperwork for the day. The office is empty now, and he’s itching to leave, his mind consumed with thoughts of seeing you.
Mai pulls up a chair, pretending to help him, but her true intentions are clear when she rests her hand on his thigh, continuing to write as if it’s the most natural thing. Her fingers begin their creeping ascent, and Xavier’s heart races. His body locks up, and anxiety rises as the ability to breathe leaves him. 
Mai has always been flirty, something he used to find endearing, even if it was just a ruse to keep him coming back for more. But this was more than suggestive flirtation. When she presses her lips to his for the first time, she sighs as if kissing him brings her true joy.
How many times has he longed for this? Centuries of wishing for this moment—and he feels nothing at all. 
Xavier pulls back with a pained expression, searching her beautiful eyes. He makes no move to stop her, testing how he truly feels. After so much effort and heartbreak over wanting, no, needing this and Mai, he has to be sure before giving it all up.
Her fingers trail delicately over his abs and chest. He lets her kiss him again; this time, Xavier kisses back, trying to coax out some emotion other than this empty void. Kisses trail his skin as she frees his cock, only to pull back in disbelief when she feels his lack of arousal.
He watches her with detachment as she strokes him, pouting when he remains limp in her hand. Gently stopping her as she moves to take him into her mouth, he says, “I can’t do this anymore,” his voice soft but resolute, as a weight lifts from his shoulders.
Mai narrows her eyes, her mask slipping momentarily as she murmurs, “Xavier, you don’t truly want her. You’re just so pent up after all these years that anyone will do,” her veil of teasing returns as she leans closer, urging, “Let me help. This is what you’ve always wanted, right?” 
She frees her breasts from her tank top, squeezing and tugging enticingly. This isn’t the girl he fell in love with—the gentle, kind soul that captured his heart so long ago. Over her lifetimes, she’s become cold and cruel, the alluring brightness in her eyes dimming with time. Xavier realizes he’s been chasing someone who no longer exists, a profound grief washing over him.
Taking out his phone, he finds a picture of you and shows it to Mai as she scowls. Pushing her hand away, he murmurs, “You have no idea what I want. Watch.”
Gazing at your smiling face on the screen, he begins stroking his cock, becoming painfully hard within moments, lust shadowing his features. Mai’s eyes burn with genuine desire and jealousy, but he feels nothing for her.
Tucking himself back into his boxers and fixing his pants, he asks, “Did you throw yourself in front of that Wanderer to lure me into saving you?” This question has nagged him whenever the scene replays in his mind. 
He’s almost certain Mai wasn’t near you when he began the battle, only to find her next to you when the Wanderer attacked. The chaos made it difficult for him to be sure.
The answer becomes clear when Mai clears her throat, quickly glancing away. Nervousness plays on her features as Xavier takes on a chilling demeanor, standing and collecting his paperwork with meticulous movements. Any remaining connection to her ignites and burns away as he regards her coldly, fighting hard to maintain his composure. 
“I’ll be requesting a transfer for both her and myself. In the meantime, don’t even look in her direction,” Xavier says, his calm tone carrying an underlying warning: there will be consequences if she crosses the boundary he’s setting. Adjusting her top, shame, and embarrassment on her features, Mai watches as Xavier turns and walks away. 
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Your phone pings as you slip into an oversized T-shirt, and the screen lights up with a message from Sylus: “Looks like you won the game, dove. My money was on you all along,” complete with a celebratory champagne bottle emoji.
What the heck is that supposed to mean? 
You’re about to hit the call button to get an explanation when a knock at the door reveals a rain-soaked Xavier. His eyes light with relief upon seeing you. You let him in, grabbing a towel and doing your best to help him dry off, earning a gentle smile as you fluff his hair. 
“Are you okay?” you ask, pulling away and searching his face.
His fingers brush your cheek tenderly as he nods and says, “If I were to ask you to leave Linkon with me, what would you say?”
Your eyes widen as you sputter, “Um, I—like for the day?” 
He gives you a rare, genuine smile, then chuckles as he replies, “No. Like forever. Together.” He kisses you tenderly and nuzzles your nose. “We can start over somewhere new,” he whispers earnestly.
You want to believe such a thing is possible, but doubt lingers, pulling you away from his embrace. “Xavier… you don’t mean that. Mai—” 
“Is no longer part of my life,” he finishes. Gripping you by the waist and drawing you closer, he tilts your head to meet his gaze.“I don’t care how long it takes to prove it to you. I’m a very patient man,” he murmurs.
“How exactly do you plan to prove it to me?” you ask, your voice low and sensual, surprising even yourself.
You adore the way Xavier’s eyes heat up when he hears it. He hums softly, his lips brushing your ear while one arm holds you close, his fingers tracing down your arm to entwine with yours. When he kisses you this time, your body aches to melt against his, but you stand your ground, determined to make him fight for it. His tongue gently explores your mouth, groaning as he tastes you fully, cupping your cheek and deepening the kiss.
He pulls back and studies you, his thumb grazing your lips, admiring how they glisten as he spreads the moisture around. “So pretty…” he murmurs, his mouth skimming the soft skin under your ear, teeth grazing lightly, sending shivers through your body.
His brows scrunch in a pout as he reaches for your hands that hang limply at your sides, “Why won’t you touch me?” he asks, hurt evident in his tone.
“I’m not sure you deserve it yet,” you mumble, crossing your arms and turning away.
“I see,” he says with a hint of amusement.
Slowly, his touch travels under your shirt, teasing your nipple with light sweeps of his thumb. His mouth and hands explore every inch of your skin he can reach, worshiping you so delicately it takes your breath away. 
“Xavier?”
“Hmm?”
“I want to see you,” you admit, nervousness spilling into your voice.
Xavier’s throat bobs as he nods, his eyes never leaving yours as he sheds his clothing. At first, he’s hesitant, afraid you may not like what you see.
It’s a silly fear since he’s the most perfect thing you’ve ever seen. Lean and slender, his body is honed by centuries of combat, the faint scars on his pale skin testifying to trials overcome. Your hungry eyes catch on his cock, so long and pretty that you moan quietly, just thinking about how good it would feel to take it.
The look of pure longing on your face instantly eases Xavier’s insecurities. His thumb sweeps over his cock, gathering beads of precum before he holds it to your mouth, a plea evident in his eyes. You want to remain strong, but the desire to taste him overpowers you. You suck it clean, your eyes fluttering shut with a sigh. His cock twitches eagerly as a strangled “fuckk, angel” escapes him, his thumb pumping deeply into your mouth as he bites his puffy lip. 
“May I see you too?” he asks quietly, fingers tracing the hem of your shirt. You nod and let him pull it off, fighting the urge to cover yourself as your nipples perk in the chilly air. The way his gaze travels your body is so sensual and awe-filled that it’s almost devastating.
His hands tangle in your hair as he tilts your head, his kiss far more profound than any before. He presses you against the wall, trailing kisses down your stomach and along your inner thighs before pulling your shorts down. A groan escapes him when he sees your bare pussy. 
Instantly, he thumbs open your folds, dragging long, languid fingers through your heat before holding his hand up for you to see. “So wet,” he murmurs, rubbing it around and watching it stick to his fingers. “Is this all for me? he asks, wonder filling his voice. 
You nod, whimpering pitifully as he licks them clean, his eyes shutting in ecstasy at your taste. A desperate curse leaves him as he commands,  “Spread your legs then; I can’t let any go to waste.” You do as he says, whimpering again as his fingers trace delicate circles over your clit. “You’ve done so well for me, angel… practically dripping. You’ll feel amazing like this.” Then his tongue is deep in your cunt, eagerly lapping up your arousal with a deep groan against your skin that shocks your entire system. 
Your fingers tangle in his hair without hesitation, holding his face firmly in place as you grind against it. His straight nose brushes your clit with every turn of your hips, sending waves of pleasure through you. He kneels before you, and his gaze is unwavering as he slips a finger inside you, his lips and teeth teasing your slick, warm skin. Xavier loves how puffy your clit gets under his mouth and how sensitive you are to even the slightest of his touches.
He yearns to be closer to you, to be enveloped in your warmth and your scent as you cum in his mouth. Guiding you to the couch, he lies down and motions for you to come closer. “Use my face,” he commands softly, his voice laden with desire as he finishes. “I want to enjoy my meal.”
He eases you over him, his mouth inhaling you eagerly. Growing frustrated that you won’t put all your weight on him, he pushes you down so your pussy lands flush on his face. “Good girl,” he mumbles against you, urging your hips along. At first, you’re concerned about his ability to breathe, but the worry quickly vanishes as he teases your nipples and plays with your ass.
He whimpers as your fingers finally begin to trace his skin, his hips making needy pumps into the air, desperately seeking friction. Your touches are so tender, your gaze full of adoration, and a giddy smile spreads across your face at the sight of his slick-covered features.
You run your hands lovingly through his hair, the look on your face causing him to fall apart. He lets out a strangled cry that vibrates through your pussy as his cum covers his stomach. He sucks your clit harder, fingers pumping into you rapidly as you ride his face.
“Yes, yes, yess!” you shout, hand gripping his hair tightly while the other reaches around to play in his essence, coating his sensitive, twitching cock as he whimpers quietly. You can’t find it in yourself to feel ashamed as you turn into an absolute slut above him. It’s just so deliciously indecent. 
He’s so sticky from his release, shimmering with sweat and the faint glow of his evol. His face and ears are flushed, your essence covering his mouth and chin. He gazes up at you with so much desire as you bring your soaked fingers to your mouth, tasting them slowly.
The moment he feels your tight walls flutter around his fingers at his taste, he replaces them with his tongue, devouring every bit of your cunt. Even after he cleans all your cum, he refuses to stop. He pulls you tighter against him, forcing your hips to move until you whine and tremble uncontrollably above him.
“T-too much, Xavier, pleasee,” you mumble desperately, tugging at his hair. He chuckles softly and sits up, letting you rest. You settle on his lap as he leans back against the sofa, giving you a gentle smile, his lips still wet and shiny. Your touch is uninhibited now, free from hesitation as your fingers map his skin. 
He’s so responsive. Just the gentlest of touches elicit the most adorable, most sensual sounds. Your fingers ghost over a perked nipple, earning a strangled groan in return. His head kicks, and his hands form tight fists as he tries to show restraint.
You meet his eyes, your voice soft as you ask, ‘Xavier… have you ever felt truly cared for and cherished before?” 
You want to cry and rage when he blushes and turns away, whispering “no” as pain briefly crosses his features. 
Cupping his face, you kiss him tenderly, savoring the taste of yourself on his lips. “I promise, you’ll never have to spend another day without knowing how loved you are,” you vow earnestly.
His eyes widen in surprise as he silently mouths the word “love,” as if trying to see how it feels on his tongue. “No one’s ever said that word to me before,” he admits quietly.
You smile gently, meeting his gaze. “Well, try saying it out loud next time. You need to get used to it.” Your lips find his again, gentle and searching, conveying all the emotions too scary to put into words just yet. You bite and suck at his neck, teasing relentlessly when his body betrays how good it feels. 
You work a faint mark on his collarbone, admiring it with a brush of your fingers as you quietly ask, “Are you really all mine?” Your awe-filled gaze meets his. He pulls you close, cupping the nape of your neck and murmuring, “Yes,” against your lips. A smile lights up your face, mirrored by his beaming expression as he witnesses your joy.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he says earnestly, brushing your hair over your shoulder.
You roll your eyes with a teasing grin and mumble, “Don’t push it,” before silencing his words by pressing your tongue into his mouth. He pulls away after a moment, biting his lip as he forces himself to be gentle, playing with your breasts. Little tugs and pinches over one nipple while the other hand traces your curves.
It’s not nearly enough.
“I won’t break, Xavier. You need to do it harder,” you plead, frustration filling your voice.  Your plea is soon replaced with a surprised, strangled cry when he murmurs, “Yes, mam,” and stuffs his mouth full, biting and sucking roughly.
His touch turns rougher, too. His fingers squeeze your ass so hard they’ll surely leave marks, complimenting the bruise blooming on the swell of your breast. 
“All mine,” he says, meeting your eyes with a teasing, confident smile as he echoes your earlier sentiment. You squeak in surprise as he grabs your thighs and presses down, sliding you along his cock, using your pussy to smear his cum around, soaking your heat and thighs in slickness.
You take over, hips moving faster, desperately seeking more of the pleasure he’s bringing you. 
“You’re so soft and warm…” you murmur dreamily, ruining him when you finish with a whimper of, “Gonna feel so good filling me up,” before burying your face in his neck as you move against him.
“Can I put it in? Please?” he begs, lifting your ass just enough to rub circles with his leaking tip at your entrance. He’s trembling, holding back the urge to fuck you roughly. Instead of answering, you lower yourself onto him, wincing as his cock stretches you open. 
He can’t take his eyes away from where you join, watching you drip down his length as he delicately rubs your clit, his eyebrows scrunched up in an adorable expression of concentration. 
“Does it hurt?’ he asks, noticing your quiet gasp of pain as you take him halfway. You nod, whimpering slightly. He leans up to kiss you, pressing down on your bottom lip and tilting your chin to meet your blissed-out gaze. “You’re still so tight, angel. I’ll open you up better next time, I promise.” He nuzzles your nose, trying to distract you from the pain as he pushes in deeper.“Can you take it for me? I-i’m almost there,” he says, his eyes trickling back down to where you suck him in.
Pleasure begins to mix seamlessly with the pain, and you don’t bother to respond, your eyes rolling back as a sigh of ecstasy leaves you. Xavier takes that as a yes and gently presses you down until he bottoms out. Desire begins to overwhelm his features as he watches your essence mix with his at the base of his cock.
He searches your eyes, kissing you softly and murmuring, “How does it feel?” 
“Honestly? Nothing has ever felt so good. So full…” you mumble, starting a slow, torturous cycle of movements. You pull him out to the tip before letting him fill you up again, over and over, until the moment comes when he finally allows himself to let go. He presses you flush against him and pushes deep inside you, setting his own much more intense pace. He spanks your ass with an adorable smile, his blue eyes shining with joy. 
You eagerly match his movements, chanting, “Harder, Xavier! Harder!” You squeal happily when he flips you onto your back, throwing your legs above your head and fucking you so much harder. A mirthful smile appears on his face as his cock pierces deep inside you, forcing out a raw, strangled cry of pleasure. Pleasure builds and crashes in an instant, your pussy gripping and pulsing so tightly around him that he can barely breathe.
“That’s it, baby, cum all over me,” he praises, stroking your clit in time with his thrusts. His pace quickens, helping you ride your release. Sloppy sounds fill the air as you spill over him, spurring him on. He grips your hips tight to keep you from sliding as he fucks into you relentlessly.
“Such a good girl. You can give me another one, can’t you?” he murmurs, his weight pressing down on you, pushing his cock even deeper than before. The soft, pale hair trailing from his pelvis rubs your clit just right. His moves are deliberate, urging you to come again with a sharp cry as tears fill your eyes and your body starts to tremble. 
He kisses your cheek, his movements never slowing. “So perfect for me… Just one more, angel,” he whispers, making pointed thrusts into your g-spot over and over and over until you spill all over him again. 
He can’t seem to stop. Every orgasm he pulls from you only makes him more desperate and needy. “So fucking wet… you have no idea how good you feel,” he mumbles incoherently, burying his face in your neck and bringing you to release again just from the feeling of his warm mouth on your skin and his filthy words. 
“T-too much, Xavier, I can’t! Please!” You’re sobbing and overstimulated—a sensitive, weak mess. 
“Shh. It’s okay… It’ll be over soon. You want to show me how much you love me, right?” His tone is teasing, but the sincerity in his eyes tells you your answer means a lot to him. 
Tears fall harder as he kisses you, and you manage to choke out a strangled “yes.” 
“I know you do,” he says tenderly. His tongue pries open your mouth and softly commands, “Swallow,” as he spits into it. 
Blushing deeply,  you follow his instructions, moaning in ecstasy at the taste, which earns a pleased hum from him. He tugs on your bottom lip, admiring your blissful expression and the tears tracing your cheeks. His praises continue, bringing you closer and closer to the edge again. 
“Such a pretty little angel, following my instructions so well.” Another orgasm approaches alarmingly fast, feeling almost too powerful, and you wonder if your body can withstand it. Xavier seems to read your mind because he mumbles, “You can,” before fucking you even harder. 
You squirt so much that it pulls out a strangled, “Fuck, yes. You’re doing so fucking well…” from him as his cock squelches around inside you. “I–i can’t hold out much longer. You… you feel too good,” he admits softly against your lips.
 “Please, Xavier... Please cum for me, i–i’ll do anything,” you plead, needing to feel claimed by him more than you can express. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you murmur, “Do you want to finish inside?” pulling him as close as you can. 
He whimpers at your words, cradling your head against his chest as his cock continues to fuck into you mercilessly. The moment his hips stutter and he sinks into you with one last, deep thrust, his cum spills inside of you, and he captures your lips in the most tender kiss you’ve ever felt. Despite reaching his climax, he doesn’t stop. His cock pistons into you with renewed force.
With fierce determination, he pulls one final orgasm from you, his movements gradually slowing as you ride through it. As soon as he pulls back and looks at your ruined form beneath him, lust clouds his features, and his cock hardens again. Anxiety hits you over the state of your more-than-abused pussy, and you whine, “Noo, Xavier—just let me take care of you for a little while. ’m too sensitive.” 
He chuckles, scooping you up in his arms and resting back on the couch. You try to fight the arousal his hardened length pressing against your ass brings. He meets your gaze, kissing you softly and holding you close as your heartbeats grow steady. He peppers your face with gentle, searching kisses. 
“Earlier, I asked you how you felt about leaving Linkon with me,” he says, tucking hair behind your ear as nervousness plays on his face. 
“Mhmm; the forever trip,” you murmur dreamily. 
He smiles softly, meeting your gaze, and asks, “So, what’s your answer?” 
You nuzzle his nose and answer earnestly, “I’ll follow you anywhere, Xavier. Just lead the way.”
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A month later, you wake up before dawn to find Sylus’s face just inches from yours, a wry grin on his lips as he glances at Xavier sleeping beside you. “I took your key away specifically to prevent this kind of thing,” you hiss, careful not to wake Xavier as you untangle yourself from his limbs and quietly climb out of bed.
You gently brush his hair back, marveling at how his smile lingers even in sleep now. The melancholy that once plagued him for centuries has vanished, replaced by a serenity brought by your affection. He often tells you that you make him feel truly happy and free for the first time in his life. 
After pulling on a robe, you follow Sylus to the kitchen, halting in your tracks when you see a brand-new laptop on the counter. “Sy, what did you do?” you ask hesitantly, eyeing the device with suspicion. He rolls his eyes and motions toward it.
“What does it look like, sweetie?” he retorts, as if that clears everything up.
“Why did you buy me a laptop, Sylus? You know I don’t like gifts…” you start, but he quickly interrupts.
“Well, you should have thought about that when you decided to move several hours away from me,” he replies. You can sense he’s happy for you and Xavier, but there’s a hint of struggle with this change in your relationship.
Drawing him close, you pinch his cheeks, enjoying the irritated glare he gives you. “You’re my best friend, Sylus. I’m not just going to up and leave you after all these years,” you assure him, giving his nose a gentle boop before turning away.
He chuckles, relaxing a fraction as he ruffles your hair and then refocuses on the task at hand. “I bought you the best one on the market. They assured me it has an excellent camera—I need to ensure that my pretty face comes through crystal clear during our video chats,” he says with a teasing grin.
“Ah, I almost forgot,” he adds, casually pulling a new, shiny smartphone from his pocket and handing it to you. “Both this and the laptop come with a tracking system that alerts me immediately if anything seems off,” he assures you, gently grasping your chin to meet your gaze. “Never hesitate to reach out for my help or just for company. I’m here for you, no matter how far away you are. Got it, dove?”
You want to tease him for being so serious, but his sincerity makes it difficult. It’s a rare and precious thing from him. With a gentle smile and tears welling up in your eyes, you pull him in for a tight hug. He freezes for a moment in surprise, but then his arms wrap around you, a smile spreading across his face as he swings you around.
When your feet settle back on the floor, the sadness has melted from his features. “The laptop has top-notch sound specs, too, so I can still sing to you when you’re feeling down,” he reassures you. It takes considerable effort to suppress the grimace that threatens to break your mask of enthusiasm.
Sylus lets out a low, knowing chuckle, easily seeing through you. “Hopefully, you’ll be able to fake that better over video,” he muses.
You grin and look around your empty home, excitement coursing through you. The transfer request with the Hunter’s Association went through almost immediately, and Xavier found a charming cottage with a small farm, plenty of bookshelves, and just enough room for the two of you. Sylus can’t help but smile at your evident joy. “Today’s the big day,” he teases.
You nod, your grin widening as he raises an eyebrow and offers a suggestive head toss. “You should wake your precious hunter now. You’ve got a lot to do,” he says.
Giggling, you pull him down to plant a kiss on his cheek, earning a blush that makes you laugh even harder. Then, you dash off to wake Xavier.
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chososcamgirl · 1 month ago
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(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE CHAPTER NINETEEN: toothpaste
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*if you want the full sjap chososcamgirl experience click here!
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Toothpaste.
That was all she needed.
The familiar jingle of the doorbell sounded as she stepped into the pharmacy, its ring echoing briefly before being swallowed by the soft hum of fluorescent lights above. She moved past the aisles with purpose, the faint scent of antiseptic and the bittersweet smell of charcoal lingering in the air.
At the counter, a brown-haired girl in her late twenties leaned against the register, lazily blowing out smoke from a cigarette.
"Shoko," her name tag read in bright red letters.
Pretty name.
"Hey," she muttered, a casual greeting as she passed. The girl didn't look up, but offered a half-hearted smile, her eyes unfocused as she exhaled smoke, lost in whatever thoughts dulled her day.
Toothpaste.
The word repeated in her head like a quiet mantra, the task simple, mundane. She wandered down the aisles with mechanical precision, her gaze flicking over shelves of medicines and other pharmacy essentials.
Her fingers brushed against boxes, but she didn't really look at them. She wasn't here to linger.
And then she stopped.
A stillness took hold of her. Her body froze mid-step, her pulse quickening in a way that had nothing to do with the cold air of the aisle.
In the distance, there was a figure. His back was to her, his face buried in his hands, almost in a gesture of resignation or frustration. His stance was familiar in an unsettling way, as if he was trying to disappear into the shelves, as if he were searching for something he didn't know how to find.
She stood there for what felt like an eternity, the hum of the lights suddenly deafening in her ears. The shape, the posture, the way his shoulders slumped-it was him.
For a moment, she debated standing there. Still, until he noticed her. 
Then, just as her mind screamed at her to stay, she saw him start to turn—his head shifting, eyes beginning to look her way.
Her heart slammed against her ribcage, and without thinking, she bolted. She pivoted on her heel, her breath quick and shallow as she darted toward the next aisle, her legs carrying her as fast as they could.
She whips out her phone in frustration and starts furiously typing.
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“Hey.”  
She freezes, fingers hovering over the screen of her phone, her mind torn between the message she was about to send and the voice she recognizes. Slowly, she looks up.  
His gaze locks with hers.  
Megumi Fushiguro.  
Her eyes narrow, irritation flaring as she exhales sharply. Without a word, she pushes past him, intent on finding what she came for. 
Toothpaste.  
The aisle ahead is a chaotic jumble of brightly coloured shampoo and conditioner bottles—too many choices, too many distractions. She weaves through the sea of products, her focus narrowing to the search for the one thing she came here for.  
“Yn, please, I’m sorry.”  
The words make her blood boil. God, she hates the tone he’s using. It’s almost like he doesn’t get it.  
She bites her lip, trying to ignore the sting of his voice, but before she can refocus, she feels his hands settle gently on her shoulders. It takes all her willpower not to jerk away.  
Not now, Megumi. 
Finally, she spins around, giving him the sharpest glare she can muster.  
“What do you want, Megumi?” she spits, every syllable laced with frustration.  
His frown deepens, his eyes flicking to her lips, a hesitant tension hanging between them. He bites his lip, visibly unsure of how to proceed.  
“I just... I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”  
Her jaw tightens, and she shoots a pointed glance back at the shelves, pretending to be absorbed in the endless row of oral care products. She couldn’t care less about his apology.  
“I heard you the first time,” she mutters, grabbing the toothpaste off the shelf with one hand, her grip tight and fingers stiff. 
A beat of silence stretches between them. Megumi’s voice cuts through again, softer, but with the same persistent edge.  
“So... you’ll forgive me?”  
She scoffs, shaking her head with a bitter laugh, her patience wearing thin. Of course, he would ask something so dumb.  
Finally, her eyes land on the familiar packaging.
Toothpaste.
She picks it up, turning to face him with a glare that could melt stone.  
“No. And if that’s all you have to say, then I’m leaving.” 
With that, she brushes past him once again, this time with more force, walking swiftly toward the checkout counter. She can still smell the lingering scent of cigarettes, the same stale air she’d walked into when she first arrived.  
The conveyor belt moves slowly beneath her, and she places the toothpaste down with a faint clink. Her fingers automatically slip into her pocket, searching for her wallet.  
And then, she hears it—the unmistakable sound of footsteps behind her.  
She doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is. Her shoulders sag, frustration mounting in her chest. Of course he’d follow me.
She groans internally, preparing herself for whatever nonsense he’ll say next.
"Will this guy ever get a fucking life?" she mutters under her breath, barely holding back an eye roll.
“I got it,” a voice called from behind her.
The cashier, unfazed by the tension hanging in the air, set her pornographic magazine aside and casually picked up the toothpaste. Her cigarette, still smouldering in her mouth, bobbed up and down as she scanned the item, her expression completely indifferent to the moment's awkwardness.
She paused, her eyes narrowing as she studied Megumi from head to toe, as if waiting for him to do something else.
"Oh shit, uh, and these too," he stammered, placing the box of Magnum condoms on the conveyor belt, nervously scratching his neck.
Yn's eyes flickered to the box and then back to him. "Big night planned, huh?" she said, her voice dripping with mock amusement as she glared at the condoms.
Megumi’s face reddened. "Oh, uh, those aren’t for me," he mumbled, his discomfort palpable.
She merely gave a disinterested "Mhm," chewing the inside of her gum as the cashier processed the transaction.
Megumi opened his mouth, ready to defend himself, but was cut off by her.
"Did you guys want a bag?" she asked flatly.
"Yeah, please," Yn answered quickly, eager to leave the awkwardness behind.
The sound of plastic rustling filled the silence, only intensifying the tension. The cashier bagged their items with a practised, almost bored efficiency—as if this kind of transaction was the least exciting thing to happen all day.
Before Megumi could protest any further, a cloud of smoke from the cashier’s cigarette drifted in their direction. She didn’t even flinch.
“That’ll be 4250 yen, please,” she said lazily, still grinning, unfazed by the duo hacking their lungs out from the smoke.
Megumi quickly covered his mouth with his arm, pulling out his wallet with the sort of frantic haste only a person desperate to escape awkwardness can manage. He fumbled with his card, sliding it into the reader. The machine beeped.
Yn grabbed the bag in one swift motion, already on her way out of the store.
Megumi, looking flustered but relieved, gave a curt nod to the cashier before jogging after her, eager to leave the bizarre scene behind.
The cashier took another slow drag from her cigarette, her eyes following the two figures darting across the parking lot. She exhaled a thick plume of smoke, watching them with a detached amusement, tinged with something darker—something she didn’t care to name.
"Kids," she muttered to herself, shaking her head with a soft, resigned chuckle before turning her attention back to the magazine before her, as if it might shield her from whatever she couldn’t bear to witness.
The sharp click of shoes on wet concrete echoed in the cold night, piercing the stillness like a warning. 
"Yn, please!" Megumi’s voice cracked, strained with exhaustion and desperation as he closed the gap between them.
Yn kept her head down, hands shoved deep into her pockets, the cold metal of the keys biting into her skin. Her pace quickened, heart racing as though the faster she moved, the less likely he would be able to reach her, to make her turn around. She couldn’t hear him. Not now. Not when everything she’d been holding back was on the edge of spilling over.
"Megumi, stop," she whispered, voice tight, trembling at the edges. "I already told you, I—"
Before she could finish, she felt his hand grip her wrist, pulling her to a halt. The sudden force of it made her breath catch, and for a moment, she was still trapped between the pull of his touch and the weight of her own resolve.
She looked at him, and everything inside her stilled.
His eyes weren’t the same. They were darker now, heavy with something deeper than she had ever seen in them before. No arrogance. No defiance. Only raw, unfiltered regret. Sadness. The kind that seemed to press in on his chest, making it hard to breathe, to think. He couldn’t meet her gaze for long; his eyes flickered to the ground, and for a moment, he looked like he might break. Like his whole world was about to shatter into a thousand pieces, right there on the wet pavement.
"Yn, please," he whispered, voice breaking, so full of pain it made her chest tighten. "I never meant any of it. What I said... it was so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to lose you. I know... I know it’s selfish, asking you to stay, but I can’t... I can’t lose you. Please." 
"Megumi, I—"
He cut her off, his voice hoarse, trembling with the weight of everything he hadn’t said before. "And I know you told me you weren’t ready for a relationship, and I’ve tried to understand that, to give you space. I’ve accepted it, even if it wasn’t easy. But..." His words faltered, and for a moment, he looked like he might swallow them back down, like they were too heavy for him to carry. But then he breathed in, steadying himself. 
"But Yn... I would wait a thousand lifetimes for you. I would wait forever, if that’s what it took, because I want to be with you. I need to be with you. And not just because I miss you, or because I feel lost without you, but because... because, Yn, I want you. In a way I never thought I could want anyone." 
He paused, the weight of his own confession sinking in, and when he spoke again, it was barely above a whisper, but it cut through the space between them with the quiet intensity of a truth he could no longer keep buried. 
“So hate me all you want Yn, just please don’t shut me out. I’ve spent so much time thinking I could walk away, that I could let you go, but I can’t. I don’t want to. Not anymore." 
His chest rose and fell with the effort of his words, like he was trying to catch his breath after running a race he didn’t even know he was in. His body trembled, not from fear, but from the sheer force of his emotions breaking through. His hand clenched at his side, his knuckles white, as if holding on to something he might lose if he let go. His eyes were fixed on hers, pleading without words, desperate without asking. 
For the first time in a long time, there was no bravado, no walls between them. Only the quiet truth of a man who had finally realised that what he felt for her wasn’t something he could walk away from. And he was asking—no, begging—for her to see it, to feel it, too.
His grip on her wrist tightened, his fingers trembling. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes, as though the weight of his own guilt might crush him if he held her gaze for too long. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the torrent of emotion that was threatening to spill over, but it was there—raw, uncontained.
Yn exhaled, the weight of his words settling over her like a fog. She wanted to pull away, to shut herself off from him—everything inside her screaming for distance—but she couldn’t. Not with him standing there, broken, stripped bare in front of her. 
She shook her head slowly, the words thick in her throat. "Megumi... I could never hate you." The confession hung in the air between them, fragile and heavy with everything they had left unsaid. 
His eyes snapped back to hers, searching for something—anything—that would give him hope. And in that moment, when the world seemed to shrink down to just the two of them, a single streetlight flickered above them, casting his face in a pale, golden halo. She froze. In that soft glow, she remembered. She remembered how he had always been beautiful—how she saw him for the first time underneath the lucent lights with his guitar, to the man standing in front of her carrying nothing but a bag of toothpaste and condoms. For a fleeting second, it felt like time had both stopped and rewound, all at once.
A fragile shift passed between them, unspoken but undeniable. His hand slipped from her wrist, fingers brushing lightly against her skin as if afraid to touch her too firmly, as if the very act of reaching for her might undo them both. But then, with no more hesitation, no more words to hold them back, he kissed her.
It wasn’t a kiss of anger, of apology, or even of reconciliation. It was everything—everything they’d held back, buried too deep for too long. The crash of everything unspoken, everything broken, everything still raw between them. It was the kiss they should have shared ages ago, but neither of them had been ready for. It was the space between their words—the silence that had stretched so long, finally, finally given form. 
And in that kiss, there was no more distance. No more fear. No more hesitation. Just the weight of everything they hadn’t let go of, suddenly, impossibly, all at once.
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backstage!
• panda sent the ynmegumi gc a text like “plan in motion” so they all celebrated with a movie night (??)
• dunno know WHY they thought it would work
• it did so ig it’s okay…
• they knew their plan worked after ynmegumi turned their location sharing off LMFAOOOO
• shoko was definitely fan service for ree (are you reading this ree? are you?? are you?? did you like it??? do i get a kiss on the cheek?? do i??)
• but her working in the pharmacy isn’t THAT ooc so #cry
• she did not gaf about ynmegumi😭 she just let them have their moment
• brought her flashbacks to stsg gay asses #LetGodBeTrueQuickly🙌🙌
• yn wants to be main character soooo bad omfg girl give it up
• complete parking lot fight slash makeup scene cliché SUE ME
• btw they left the toothpaste out on the gravel for some reason so yn did in fact not get the stupid ass toothpaste
• got the condoms though😛😛😛
• yuta will definitely be questioning as to why they were open
• may or may not have done something not very sft in the car but hey!! you didn’t hear it from me…
a/n: aaaand we’re back!!! how’s everyone doing? good? okay? horrible? all three? same❤️ i hope this sufficed for taking a week off (i’m still in my shackles) this was probably my favourite chapter to write. gonna lie and say it didn’t make me teary eyed towards the end… champagne coast being the recommended song of the week even though it was a gag for the first chapter is a full circle moment. a bit of tzc reeferences sprinkled in the chapter bc i love those girls to death (even though mitch gave up on chapter 2… she didn’t even make it to lesbian digresser… #shitfriendmoment😒) ANYWAYS enjoy and see you guys tmr!! <3
taglist: @shokosbunny @satoryaa @prozacprinc3ss @essjujutsu @therealsatorugojo @yeehawslap @gojodickbig @dawnisatotalqueen @j2upiters @nappingnai @lalalasillybilly3000 @totallytatum @3cst4syy @lysaray @saltypuffin1040 @aozui @makeshiftproject @kurtcobaingirlie @kokoiinuts @dashingaurries @slvttycorpse @cuupidsss @mochroialainn @tenjikusstuff4 @ichcocat @laughingfcx @sugurubabe @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @tyigerz @yoyo-yui @megoomies @yizmiu @jasminasblog22 @marst4rz @guitarstringed-scars @kalulakunundrum @lovefrominaya @beepbopzlorp @itsdragonius @meguemii @chilichopsticks @starantulas @1l-ynn @sluttkuna @rcveriees @solaqes @starrysho @sukunaspillow @evry1luvssm @syxoki
*if i can't tag you please change your tag settings otherwise i will remove you from the list!
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azen13 · 5 months ago
Text
CW: Yandere Themes, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Neuvillette Tastes Your Tears
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Yandere!Neuvillette, who holds you tenderly when you cry. It's the only time you'll let him, with how you mope around his home like a hollow spirit, all your passion and freedom easily extinguished like a candle flame. He quietly murmurs sweet poison into your ear, urging you to give up this pointless fight. Despite how you may howl through your bars and claw at this cage, Neuvillette will never let you escape his love.
After you fall limp in his arms, tears glisten like diamonds in your eyes. Just the sight of them causes already-gray skies to darken further. The Iudex gently swipes at them, and he cannot resist the urge to put his knuckles to his lips.
Bittersweet. Your tears taste bittersweet.
This moment, too, is bittersweet. Only after months of captivity have you allowed him to hold you, to even be near you. Neuvillette wants to love you the way you deserve to be loved, and he knows that this endless stalemate is only hurting both you and him.
But while he may have the mind of a lover, he has the heart of a dragon. He is greedy, and if he cannot have your laughter, then he will have your tears. After all, when humans marry, they promise to love each other, for better or worse.
So Neuvillette will love you. Forever.
665 notes · View notes
val-made-a-mistake · 1 year ago
Note
Currently imagining a scenario where you and Eddie have some sort of split custody arrangement for Venom, and you have some sort of NSFW dream about Eddie, and Venom sees the whole thing because of brain link or whatever, and then shares this exciting development with Eddie the next time he's bonded to Venom
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venom is definitely not one to keep a secret, for sure 😭 thank you so much for your request, i hope you enjoy. :) smut-wise, it's a bit more focused on eddie than my previous fics where it was either symbiote-focused or an even split, hope that's okay. this was SO much fun to write!
warnings: brief smut, mentions of oral f receiving, mentions of "striking" the reader but it's totally a misunderstanding, loneliness, mentions of eating people/murder
word count: 3.3k
//////
It had been six days since Eddie had left for Seattle, and honestly, you hadn’t been expecting to fall into this loneliness so quickly. Venom might have been keeping you company by providing you with an endless stream of commentary in your inner conscience, and the chickens were constantly squawking and squabbling and wandering the length of the apartment as per usual, so it wasn’t like the space was totally silent, but still, Eddie’s absence was more saddening than you thought it would be. Over the course of the six days, you struggled to busy yourself. Of course you preferred Eddie having a job as to being without one, but one thing you particularly hated was how vague investigative jobs were, so as a result, you had no idea when he would come back or how long the work would take to be done.
For the time being, it looked like you were stuck here.
Before he’d left, Eddie had asked you to babysit Venom and his apartment, and now that you’d been here for an extended amount of time, you felt horribly restless.
Feeling the weight of the quiet apartment settling in, you cast a glance around the room. The hum of the refrigerator seemed to amplify in the sort-of silence, and you found yourself drawn to staring at Eddie's belongings scattered around.
Your gaze fell on a framed photograph on the shelf – Eddie with a carefree grin, arm slung around your shoulders. The memories flooded back, and a bittersweet smile touched your lips.
As if sensing your thoughts, Venom's voice rumbled in your mind.
EDDIE IS DEFINITELY MISSING OUT WITHOUT US AROUND.
The symbiote's attempt at comfort was appreciated, but it only deepened your sense of solitude.
Sighing you folded yourself into a ball on the couch, tucking your chin into your knees. The TV in front of you was off, and you had no intention to turn it on. For now, it was okay to mull in the quiet.
You mumbled into your knees, “What do you think he's up to in Seattle?" 
CATCHING BAD GUYS. KICKING BUTT. EATING SEATTLE FOOD. ZOOMING AROUND. ACTING PATHETIC WITHOUT US THERE.
“V, you and I don’t know anything about investigative journalism,” you put in gently.
Venom was, of course, offended.
I KNOW A LOT ABOUT EATING BAD GUYS!
“Yeah, but Eddie won’t let you eat bad guys in Seattle any more than he does here.”
It was at that moment that Venom popped out from your shoulder blade, miniature head scowling.
HE SHOULD!
“Wanna go get a bite to eat?” you interjected, effectively ending the conversation. “I’ll even let you drive, if you want.”
Venom grinned much too wide for his intentions to be anything but nefarious, so you quickly added, “No eating people.”
You turned fast and pointed to the pizza box sign in the kitchen. “Eddie might not be here, but that rule’s definitely still active while you’re in my body, okay?”
Venom, for lack of a better word with his gaping mouth full of super-sized fangs, pouted.
YOU ARE NO FUN!
I just don’t want to be involved in any murder, you wanted to say, but slimy, black, glittering goo was already wrapping and contorting around your middle. Venom was enveloping you, taking over.
It was a bit of an unpleasant sensation as Venom’s monstrous gooey head locked into place over where yours used to be, and rows of impressive fangs unfolded in your suddenly super-sized mouth. It felt like somebody had cracked an egg over your head and the yolk was dripping down your body. You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to it. You had no idea how Eddie put up with it.
For how quickly his annoyance started, Venom seemed to get over it pretty quickly. He grinned and licked his lips.
I WOULD LIKE TO GO TO MCDONALDS.
//////
The room was shrouded in the quiet stillness of the night. The dim glow of a bedside lamp cast a warm pool of light on the walls, creating a cozy haven within the four corners of Eddie’s bedroom. You were in bed. Venom, for the first time that day, was quiet.
Under the soft blanket, your eyelids were growing heavy with the weight of the day's endeavours. You still missed Eddie, a lot, so much that your nightly FaceTime call almost wasn’t enough. Seeing his face on your laptop screen was just a further reminder of how far two states away felt, and how binded you felt to him since you met him — he pulled at you without even realizing it, like you’d been sewn together with invisible thread.
Hopefully he wouldn’t be in Seattle for too much longer.
The rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall seemed to synchronize with the slowing pace of your breath. As the minutes ticked away, you found yourself on the threshold of the dream world, caught between wakefulness and the gentle pull of slumber. Not even the distant murmur of passing cars was enough to distract you now.
Closing your eyes, you surrendered to the sensation of falling asleep, gently gliding down into the abyss of dreams. Eddie’s bedroom, once familiar and defined, now blurred at the edges, transforming into a surreal landscape of colours and shapes.
As you drifted further into the realms of slumber, a sensation of weightlessness enveloped you. It was as if you were floating on a sea of tranquility, carried away by the ebb and flow of your own breath. The boundaries between reality and imagination began to dissolve, and the world outside melted.
//////
Sometime between now and then, you’d ended up bent over in Eddie’s lap, on a couch that felt just like his couch, but was ambiguous enough that it could’ve been anywhere. Things were slightly blurry around the edges, surreal enough to have you breathless, but real enough that you weren’t questioning your surroundings.
“Holy shit,” Eddie breathed as he tilted his head, carefully examining the swelling ass on his lap. Your pussy was dripping, there was a dribble of arousal forming, but in all honesty, he was a little scared to touch you, he didn’t want to hurt you. “I don’t think I’m getting a finger in there, girl. Wow.”
“Luckily, I’m not that fragile,” you responded playfully as you arched your back for him. Eddie bit his lip as this only accentuated the curve of your ass.
“God,” he whispered as he ran a hand up your thigh: he was able to break them apart easily, and he pulled one leg over his lap, wedging you firmly between his legs.
Even though you were already soaking wet, Eddie’s fingers ran over your dripping slit for a moment, as if he were admiring the way your pussy fluttered at his touch in front of him.
God, you could just feel how wet you were, and you bit your lip, anticipating for Eddie to lean forward, and—
Y/N!!!
In an instant you’d jumped awake: you’d sprang to attention without really realizing how you’d done it, scrambling for the lamp. “What’s going on?”
Venom was protruding from your shoulderblade again, bouncing even more than normal, very clearly in extreme distress.
SWEET GIRL. WE ARE RECEIVING VISIONS.
You stifled your yawn with your hand. “V, do you mean, like - like a dream?”
WE ARE RECEIVING VISIONS! RECEIVING VISIONS OF EDDIE EATING YOU! THIS IS VERY SERIOUS! WE NEED TO KEEP YOU SAFE!
Your cheeks instantly warmed, and you froze, scrambling for something to say. “Oh - oh, shit, Venom - that - I’m so sorry, but I really don’t think that was what you think it was.”
HE WAS STRIKING YOU! Venom snapped.
Oh my god. He really saw all of that.
You reached for the water bottle on your nightstand. “V, you seriously don’t need to worry about this. It wasn’t real. It was a dream. Nothing bad will come from it."
Venom was, of course, still hysterical.
IT WAS A PROPHECY! THIS IS BAD!
I wouldn’t mind if it was a prophecy, you thought selfishly before you could stop yourself, but you shoved it down. “Everything’s alright, Venom. Okay? Everything's fine. Let’s just go back to bed.”
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR CARING ABOUT YOU, Y/N.
You were already sliding back under the blanket. “I’m not asking you to, V. I appreciate it.”
You hesitated.
“Just, uh, next time you’re bonded to Eddie, please don’t tell him about this, okay? It could make him - I don't know, uncomfortable. You know, I - I don’t know how he’d react to the prophecy of him supposedly hurting me, that’s all. I don’t want to worry him.”
(You were hoping wildly that he would accept, and you and Venom would never talk about this again.)
In a move you’d never seen before, Venom raised one gloopy, black tentacle towards you, and recognizing the movement, you extended your pinky towards him. Your pinky and the black goo linked together for a moment, signifying your trust.
Venom grinned, now bouncing significantly less.
I NEVER BREAK A PINKY PROMISE, SWEET GIRL.
You raised your eyebrow.
I TRY NOT TO.
You were much too tired for any of this, you simply turned over to switch off the lamp and finally return to whatever remnants of that dream was left. “Okay then. Goodnight, V.”
//////
It was satisfying to have everything fall back into the natural order once Eddie returned home from Seattle. You returned to your own apartment on the opposite side of town, but of course visited frequently, and Eddie was grateful to be back in a low-stakes environment once more, with a snarky symbiote that would terrify anyone who would try to harm him. Seattle had been thrilling, and he'd recounted the adventure to you several times, but now he was back to something familiar.
The job was done. He was covered for the time being. Freelancing was difficult, but for now, everything would be okay.
In the intervening time, Venom talked about you, a lot. Ever since he met you, he’d taken to mentioning you. But ever since you’d agreed to split custody of the symbiote, and especially since Eddie had disappeared for Seattle, he was talking about you even more.
I AM WORRIED ABOUT Y/N, he said one day.
Eddie was idly clicking through TV channels, watching everything from the news to a police drama to a basketball game zoom past, finding none of them interesting. “Why?”
I DO NOT WANT ANY BAD OMENS TO BE FOLLOWING HER. WE NEED TO KEEP HER SAFE.
“What makes you say that?” he asked, a bit confused.
Venom suddenly popped out of his shoulder, howling.
SHE - SHE HAS -
Before Venom could get any actual words out, Eddie was lifted from the couch as the symbiote rose and slammed his head into the ceiling, denting it severely and sending bits of drywall raining down from the heavens like it was a form of self-punishment.
As quickly as it started, Eddie had been dropped on the couch, red in the face and gasping for air.
Venom hardly noticed: he seemed to be in extreme distress.
I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL!
Eddie put a hand to his throat, still sweaty and gasping, forcing an inhale. “V - what?”
Venom was beside himself, now.
Y/N IS RECEIVING VISIONS! VISIONS OF YOU!
"Visions? What do you mean, visions of me?" Eddie asked, his concern deepening. Suddenly, he wasn’t feeling half-strangled anymore. His mind was racing, his thoughts a jumble of confusion and worry. "What kind of visions? Is she in danger?" 
He couldn't fathom what could be causing you to have distressing dreams about him.
Right after Seattle? Right after he thought the work was finished?
I DO NOT KNOW. BUT WE MUST PROTECT HER.
Without waiting for further response, Venom oozed off Eddie's shoulder and began slithering around the room, agitated.
Eddie remained on the couch, trying to process this information. "If something's going on, then we need to talk to her, right? Figure out what's happening."
I AGREE. SHE IS PART OF US, AND WE WILL NOT LET ANY HARM BEFALL HER.
He paused, awkwardly.
BUT PLEASE LET HER KNOW I AM SORRY. I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU, EDDIE. SHE SAYS SHE DOES NOT WANT TO WORRY YOU. SHE DOES NOT SHARE THE SAME CONCERN I HAVE.
It didn’t matter: Eddie was already grabbing his phone and dialling your number, fingers tapping nervously against his screen.
After a few tense rings, you picked up.
“Hey, Eddie!”
"Hey, we need to talk," Eddie said urgently, glancing at Venom, who was now wrapping himself around the coffee table, sticky and pulsating, in deep despair.
Concern filled your voice. "Is everything okay?"
“Oh, I mean, yeah, right now it is,” he responded wildly, vaguely aiming for nonchalant. “I was just talking to V, you know, and he said something, and - I just kinda wanted to call, y’know, see if you were alright-”
“Oh, I'm fine,” you confirmed, but you still sounded confused. “I don’t have anything going on today, so I’m just spending some time to myself. What did V tell you?”
Across from Eddie, Venom moaned in despair, a mere gooey black glob of depression on his sitting room floor.
SWEET GIRL, I AM SORRY!
“He said you were getting some disturbing visions, and not gonna lie, it kinda freaked me out a bit,” Eddie said sheepishly, hoping you hadn’t heard that. “I just wanted to call and see if you were okay, that’s all. I know this is random. Sorry. Just, with the nature of the last case, y’know, up in Seattle-”
It didn’t take long before he realized he was rambling again about the Seattle case, so he stopped. “Sorry.”
"No, it's okay."
There was a pause on the other end of the line, then a sigh.
Of course this was happening.
“Eddie, there’s been a misunderstanding,” you said. “Just, look - do you mind coming over? I’ll explain everything to you once you’re here. This might be better in person.”
Eddie was on his feet in an instant. “Sure, yeah.”
//////
Eddie rushed through the city streets, a mixture of worry and curiosity gnawing at him. Venom was bonded to him again, because he’d rather not think about the consequences of a depressed Venom lingering around the apartment while he was out, and the symbiote seemed to writhe within him with impatience. Or maybe that was just the motorbike rumbling underneath him. Whichever it was, he felt nauseous.
The symbiote had a tendency to jump to conclusions, but Eddie definitely couldn't shake the unease that settled in his gut.
Upon arriving at your apartment, Eddie knocked hastily.
To his surprise, you opened the door with a small smile.
"Hey," you greeted, ushering him inside. "Thanks for coming over."
Eddie nodded, glancing around your living room as if expecting something unusual. Venom, still on edge, clung within him like a sentient black backpack.
He didn’t want to come off as too eager, or too worried, so he just shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and hoped he looked casual despite the storm of questions brewing inside of him.
“So - what’s the deal?”
Deep inside of him, Venom was quivering with fright. As his gooey molecular form had to be closely intertwined with several of his most important organs right now, it was very hard not to notice the sensation.
You winced. “He’s just freaking out about nothing. There’s no bad omens or visions. I just had a dream, and you were in it. Simple stuff. Nothing to worry about.”
“It wasn’t a bad dream?” Eddie said, cautious.
You were definitely closer, now. “Actually, I’d say it was a pretty damn good dream.”
Eddie’s breath was caught in his throat. Out of everything that could’ve happened tonight, he definitely hadn’t been expecting…this.
He was a little confused, honestly. What was going on? The hairs on the back of his neck were raised, but he didn't feel as though he was in danger. On the contrary, he felt quite warm.
“Let me show you?” you offered.
"Okay," he bit out before he was conscious of making the decision, and you were stepping in front of him, and realizing, he closed his eyes on instinct--
The kiss that followed was absolutely dizzying.
There was something so particularly desperate about this: you were kissing, gasping against his mouth and pulling at his jacket, which made the two of you blindly scramble backwards into the apartment, messy and needy. The kiss quickly turned into a battle of control, with Eddie being the one to guide you forward, his hands on your hips. You bit his bottom lip in response, forcing him to open up and then the kiss was all about tongues, wet and sensitive.
You were on the couch when you finally broke apart, gasping.
"Baby," Eddie wheezed, his eyes darting across your face in disbelief, "I - what was that?"
"Is V with you?" you asked, instead of answering the question.
He was apprehensive now. "Yeah?"
"He needs to know I'm not in danger," you whispered, and you leaned forward to kiss him again.
It was much too chaste, and after you pulled away, Eddie was in mute astonishment for a moment.
His voice was scratchy when he spoke. "Disturbing visions, huh?"
You just smiled. "In my dream, we were on a couch, like this."
Eddie still couldn't believe this was happening. The anxiety in his gut on the way over had been completely forgotten now, blurring out of his memory, the future was an impossible thing, there was just this. This was all he had; this was all he wanted. "Were we, now?"
He didn't know what to do, but that didn't seem to matter, you were leading.
You nodded. "It was kinda hot."
"Kinda?" Eddie repeated dumbly, breathless. His voice sounded like a stranger's.
Before he could embarrass himself, Venom's voice rumbled within him, frustrated.
EDDIE, STOP BEING A PUSSY!
Wondering vaguely if this had been a trap all along, Eddie grabbed the nape of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. Your mouths roved together, and he took the opportunity to pull you over, closer to him. The curve of your bare spine was warm from under your sweater. He kept his hand there, roaming carelessly, drifting up to the clasp of your bra.
You seemed to get what he was going for, and then suddenly you were straddling him, and with you on top of him, he could no longer ignore how interested his dick was in the proceedings.
Slightly, just slightly, you rolled your hips against his clothed crotch, and Eddie choked out a moan.
Oh, fuck. He could feel the sweat materializing and running down his back. This was better than good.
(Venom was definitely going to tease him about this later.)
"What happened next?" Eddie mumbled, looking up at you, his eyes blown black.
You smiled, then crossed your arms and peeled off your sweater. Eddie shifted his grip, holding you by the hips again, and you tossed your sweater elsewhere.
Venom was going absolutely insane from inside him: it felt like he was rumbling somewhere around his large intestine.
DO NOT MESS THIS UP, EDDIE!
Meanwhile, you were, of course, oblivious to the commentary in Eddie's mind.
"I mean," you said, and your voice wasn't smoky like it had been before. It was just curious, with a note of teasing, like this was an everyday conversation. "You ate me out."
He pressed a light kiss to your throat. "Then flip over, baby."
Inside his head, Venom seemed to be having some kind of meltdown. Maybe he had just realized what the dream was. Maybe he was jealous. Either way, he was rambling in Eddie's mind.
SWEET GIRL - SO FRAGILE - SO SWEET - SO DELICIOUS - I NEED TO TASTE -
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carnivorousbelvedere · 4 months ago
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My Bury Your Gays review
I’ve been meaning to post this one for awhile.
Bury Your Gays was incredible. Even within the first few pages, I felt seen in a way no other book has made me feel seen. It’s a love letter to every queer person who ever tried to create anything.
I have always felt inspiration like a force, an entity, and Bury Your Gays makes you remember what that kick of inspiration hits like with a bittersweet aftertaste.
As a queer person living in Los Angeles who does a bit of creating now and then, this book felt like a love letter to me. It flawlessly captures the feeling of living in this city, of the vastness that feels like it could swallow you whole and the tiresome, endless vanity. But it also captures those beautiful times in between all that, the small moments of connection, of finding and supporting the little spots of light out there like yourself.
In terms of queer horror, it was so damn cathartic.
It’s a story about Los Angeles, about creation and inspiration, but also about meeting your queer trauma face to face and making peace with it. It’s about realizing the past has no control over you anymore, about accepting these events that made you and letting go.
It spoke to me very deeply. I laughed, I cried, I grinned from beginning to end. Thank you @drchucktingle for giving us this masterpiece.
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lev1hei1chou · 10 months ago
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First Day
Dad!Gojo x Mom!reader Genre: Fluff Words: 600 Synopsis: Your child's first day at preschool Masterlist
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It was a bright and sunny morning as you and Satoru Gojo got ready for your child's first day at preschool. The air was filled with nervousness and excitement, both for you and the little one. They were about to embark on a whole new adventure afterall.
As you helped your child put on their tiny shoes, Gojo couldn't help but wear a proud smile on his face. His hair was as unruly as ever, and his blue eyes sparkled with a mix of joy and mischief. He leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your child's head.
"Are you ready for your big day, little champ?" Gojo teased, ruffling their hair with affection.
Your child beamed up at their father, nodding eagerly. "Yes, Daddy! I'm gonna make lots of friends!"
Gojo chuckled, shooting you a glance filled with pride. "That's the spirit! You're going to be the coolest kid in preschool."
With bags packed, snacks ready, and tiny fingers tightly gripping onto both of your hands, you made your way to the preschool.
The building was decorated with vibrant colors, with laughter and the loud sounds of children playing echoing from within. As you entered the classroom, your child's eyes widened with awe.
The preschool teacher, a cheerful woman with a warm smile, welcomed you all. "Hello there! You must be the new student. We're so excited to have you join us today!"
The classroom was filled with colorful posters, small tables, and chairs perfectly sized for little ones. Toys were scattered around, and the walls were adorned with artwork created by previous classes. Your child's eyes lit up as they observed the room with enthusiasm.
As you helped your child settle into their seat, Gojo couldn't resist snapping a few pictures to commemorate the moment. He was beaming with pride and affection. He had to capture every smile and excited expression on your child's face. This was too important.
After a few reassuring words, you and Gojo finally said your goodbyes. Your child hugged you tightly, and Gojo bent down to their level, planting a soft kiss on their forehead. "Be the amazing kid I know you are, alright? Mom and Dad will be waiting for you right here when you're done."
With one last wave, you left the classroom, trying to hide the bittersweet emotions bubbling within you. You could feel the tears build up in your eyes. As you strolled through the empty hallways, Satoru wrapped an arm around your shoulder, offering comfort.
"They'll be just fine, you know," he reassured, his confident demeanor never wavering.
You nodded, smiling through the mix of emotions. "I know, but it's hard to believe how fast they're growing up."
The day felt both endless and fleeting at the same time as you both eagerly awaited your child's return. When the bell finally rang, signaling the end of the preschool day, you both rushed to the classroom.
As the door opened, your child emerged, a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration on their face. The moment they spotted you, their eyes lit up, and they practically flew into your arms. Gojo grinned, scooping them up effortlessly.
"How was your first day?" you asked, hugging them tightly.
"It was amazing, Mommy! I made lots of friends, and the teacher read us a story," they exclaimed, their excitement contagious.
Gojo chuckled, swinging them playfully. "See, I told you it would be a blast!"
With your child chattering excitedly about their day, you walked out of the preschool hand in hand. Gojo couldn't have been prouder, and neither could you.
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littlefireball · 22 days ago
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ʏʜ|[ᴍ]|ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴄᴇ
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ᴘᴇʀᴠ ʏᴜɴʜᴏ x 9ᴛʜ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ|ʏᴜɴʜᴏ ʜᴀꜱ ᴅɪʀᴛʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ (ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴜʀꜱᴇ)|ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx|ᴅᴏᴍ/ᴘᴏꜱꜱᴇꜱꜱɪᴠᴇɴᴇꜱꜱ ʏᴜɴʜᴏ|ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏɪɴɢ|ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ ꜱᴍᴜᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀ ꜱʜᴏʀᴛ ᴘʟᴏᴛ (ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴀᴢʏ ᴛᴏ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ʜᴀ~)
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 3.1ᴋ
ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2 ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇʀᴠ ʏᴜɴʜᴏ x 9ᴛʜ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ
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"Y/N, your legs." Yunho pointed out. You and he were currently practicing 'Sector 1,' a particularly challenging section for your movements. Your legs appeared disconnected from your hips, creating an awkward spectacle as you danced.
"Ugh, this is so difficult," you groaned, placing your hands on your hips.
"It's not as tough as it seems. You just need to concentrate on this part…" Yunho stepped in closer, positioning himself behind you, effortlessly gliding his legs to demonstrate the correct motion.
"Wow, you make it look so simple," you replied, a bittersweet smile creeping onto your face. He responded with a grin, his gaze sweeping over you, absorbing every detail. Your hair, your chest, your hips… every part of you captivated him. He recalled how that snug tank top accentuated your curves, enhancing the allure of your chest; how your hips moved gracefully with each dance step…
You were so damn beautiful. He couldn't help but wonder how you would appear beneath him. It must be a sight to behold.
"Yunho?" Your unexpected question jolted him from his wandering thoughts, leaving him momentarily speechless before his eyes met yours.
"You space out." 
"Ah..it's just daydreaming." 
"You okay?Are you tired?" 
"Ah…no…no worries." He swallowed hard, his heart still pounding in his chest. his mind filled with only one thought─you. You could sense the guilt and anxiety lacing his words, yet beneath that surface, there was something deep swirling within him.
"Shall we continue?" You tilted your head slightly, maintaining a calm and neutral face, as if you were oblivious to the lust brewing in his thoughts.
"Yah, sure." 
The session began with the sound of music filling the air, but slowly, the rhythm and melody faded into silence. The voice echoing in Yunho's mind overwhelmed the sound of footsteps, fueling his insatiable desire. His gaze was irresistibly drawn to your bare collarbone, envisioning it adorned with kiss marks that were his alone. From there, his eyes roamed over the contours of your body, as if he yearned to etch every detail into his memory.
It must be nice to feel your warmth wrapped around his cock, bringing him endless pleasure. The allure of desire overwhelmed his rational thoughts, perhaps he didn't even put up a fight. He feigned a lack of rhythm in your dancing, inching closer with each beat. Your fragrance enveloped him, drawing him into an irresistible whirlwind from which there was no escape.
"You should sway like this." His hands glided up your arms, the warmth of your skin igniting a spark beneath his fingertips. In that fleeting moment of connection, a thrilling jolt surged through him, intoxicating and impossible to resist.
"Follow me." His thighs brushed against you, moving in sync with the music's pulse. His chest was firmly against your back, and you could feel your body responding to his proximity. Your heart raced beneath his fingertips, and the quickening rhythm sent a warm flush across your cheeks.
"Why so intense, hm?" His soft murmurs brushed against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine, while the warmth of his breath caressed your skin, igniting the long-buried yearnings within you.
The air between you and Yunho was thick with tension, your bodies swaying in perfect harmony to the rhythm of your unspoken yearnings. His fingers glided over your skin, igniting a surge of electricity that coursed through you, while his proximity stirred a deep-seated intimacy that you fought hard to suppress.
But as you stood there, your bodies pressed closely together, every fiber of you was hyper-aware of his presence, of the heat radiating from him, of the sound of his rapid breathing fanning against your neck. Your own body betrayed you, betraying your own hidden desires.
And that, in turn, only intensified Yunho's desire, compelling him to draw even nearer, as if the mere thought of any distance between you was unbearable.
"You need a lesson, y/n." Yunho whispered against your ear, the velvety tone of his voice sent a shiver down your spine, and his hand, roaming hungrily over your body, burned like a white-hot iron against your skin. 
"A lesson, you say?" You managed to keep your tone cool and steady despite the storm of desire swirling within you. 
"Indeed." He breathed, his words a soft, sensuous whisper that sent tingles dancing across your skin. His hand continued its exploring path over your curves, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.
Each touch was deliberate, each caress calculated to stoke the flames burning deep within you. It was as if he knew exactly what you needed, and was determined to awaken every nerve in your body.
His hand, warm and steady, traveled down your body, his fingers tracing a languid path along your skin. You gasped softly at the sensation, your breath catching in your throat.
Yunho leaned in, his lips hovering mere millimeters from your ear, and spoke again, his voice a low, husky murmur. "You're mine, remember?"
Your body quivered at the words, your heart racing within your chest as if it might burst through your ribcage. The possessiveness in his tone ignited a fire within you, a heady mix of excitement and anticipation.
"Yours..." you echoed, your voice barely above a whisper.
"That's right." he whispered, his hand sliding lower to cup the curve of your hip. His touch was possessive, claiming you as his own with every passing moment.
"And you know what happens to what's mine, don't you?"
You nodded, the heat in your cheeks intensifying as the implications of his words sank in. The weight of his gaze, the possessive grip of his hand—all of it was more tantalizing than you ever could have imagined.
"I do," you replied, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions roiling beneath the surface.
He hummed approvingly, his hand tightening its grip on your hip before he pressed his body against yours, pinning you between him and the wall. The heat in his eyes was scorching, igniting a fire deep within your core.
"Good girl," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. His free hand found your chin, tilting it up so that your eyes met his, and there was a possessiveness in his gaze that stirred something primal within you.
"Now, show me just how much I own you." he instructed, his voice a low, commanding growl. His hand moved again, sliding around to grip the underside of your thigh, lifting your leg to hook over his hip.
Your breath caught in your throat at the sudden movement, and you grabbed onto his shoulder for balance. You could feel the heat of his body against yours, the hardness of his muscles, the tautness of his desire in the hand that held you firmly in place.
"You know I want you so bad." His hand slid further up your thigh, his touch searing even through the fabric. His body pressed more firmly against you, trapping you between him and the wall. You could feel how hard and deep his arched crotch nestled between your thighs as his knee forcefully pushed your thighs widen. You couldn't help but let out a soft gasp as a jolt of electric heat coursing through your veins. 
His hands began to move again, exploring your body with a casual possessiveness that left you weak-kneed. His touch was like a slow, torturous caress, each movement deliberate and calculated to heighten your need for him. You could feel your body responding, your heart racing and your breath quickening, your body craving his touch like an addict craved their next hit.
"I could have you right here, against this wall," he murmured against your neck, his teeth grazing against the sensitive flesh. His hand moved higher, his fingers toying with the hem of your tank top.
Your breath caught, and you gripped his shoulder more firmly, your body trembling with barely restrained desire. The thought of giving in to him, here and now, where anyone could see, sent a flush of heat through you.
"But then everyone would know you belong to me," he continued, his voice a low, possessive growl. His hands continued their exploration, slowly tracing a path over the bare skin of your stomach.
You arched into him, a soft moan escaping your lips at the sensation of his touch. You were his, completely and utterly, and the realization only heightened the aching need building within you.
"Say it, y/n," he commanded, his voice a low, guttural growl. His hand moved higher, his fingers tracing lazy circles along your stomach, teasing the underside of your breast.
"I'm yours," you breathed, your voice hoarse with need, all thoughts of anything else fading away to leave only the heat and desire between you.
A deep, contented growl emanated from Yunho's chest at your words, and he drew nearer, his body melding against yours as his lips captured yours in a fierce, possessive kiss.
His tongue invaded your mouth, hungry and insistent, while his hand cradled the back of your head, tilting you to intensify the kiss. You felt as if you were submerged in a whirlwind of sensation, swept away in the tempest of his desire.
He held you firmly against the wall, the kiss enveloping you, consuming you entirely, igniting a blaze of longing within your veins. Your body pressed against his, and you could sense the urgency of his need, the undeniable proof of his yearning for you.
As he finally released your lips, his mouth trailed a line of heated, wet kisses down your neck. His hands roamed your body, fingers sparking like fire across your skin, awakening every nerve ending.
"Need you now."  His longing surged like an insatiable blaze, devouring everything around it. In a moment of lost restraint, he tore your clothes away with a fierce swipe, leaving you exposed before him. His hands trembled as they moved toward his belt, fumbling to unfasten it.
The sharp click of the belt buckle releasing echoed through the stillness of the room, amplifying the charged atmosphere thick with desire. Yunho's gaze remained locked on yours as he methodically unbuttoned his pants, each motion careful and intentional, as if revealing something truly valuable.
Your breath hitched at the sight of him, your eyes lingering on the exposed skin, on the taut muscles of his abdomen, the sharp V of his hips. It took all of your restraint not to reach out and touch, to run your hands over every inch of him.
His hands gripped your hips, pulling you against him. His cock slid inside your depth with a single, harsh move, making you let out a loud moan. The heat of his skin against yours was like fire, scorching and delicious, and you couldn't help but arch into him.
His lips found your neck again, his mouth hot and hungry against your skin. His tongue tracing a path down your collarbone, his teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh. His hands roamed over your body, possessive and demanding, claiming every inch as if afraid you would slip away from him.
He walked you backwards until your legs hit the sofa, and then he pushed you back onto it, following you down until he was hovering over you, his body trapping you beneath him. The weight of him, the heat of him, was overwhelming, and all you could do was gasp as he kissed you again, his tongue delving into your mouth with reckless abandon.
"Yu..yunho…!" A soft, muffled moan escaped your lips as his mouth descended upon your neck. He nibbled and kissed your skin, creating a series of deep red, mottled impressions that lingered in his wake. His tongue glided down your collarbone, swirling in the delicate hollow at the base of your throat before continuing its journey downward.You shut your eyes tightly as his cock ruined your velvet cunt. The way he battered your spot, the way his length rubbed against your wall, the vibration he caused when he let out a small growl were like a drug, making you desire for more. 
"Look at you, how beautiful." Yunho satback, his eyes raking over your body as he moved against you. His eyes explored every inch of you, lingering on your curves, the slope of your breasts, the dip of your waist, and finally stopped at your cunt. 
Oh gosh. It must be his favourite sight to see how your cunt tried hard to swallow his long length. He rocked his hip against you, watching how his cock slid deep and reached your spot. Each time your tiny moan left your tongue caused a wave of pleasure rushed over him. Damn it. He needed to record all of this, now. 
He leaned down to grab his phone that was placed on the sofa, accidentally pushed to the depth. You couldn't help but arch your back and moan loud as he was about to break your limit. 
"Damn…!Yunho!" "Oh fuck! It feels so good." He sat it back and opened the camera, aiming at your lower core before pressing the record button. He was drawn into the beautiful sight underneath him. The way you sucked him in drove him insane. Withdrew slightly, he plunged back with all his might. His pelvis pressed against your clit as he reached the deepest, staying for a while as he loved how you struggled to take him full. 
"Too deep, too deep..!" Your plea was just like a beautiful melody, his eyes darkened at your words. He drew back and repeated the same over and over again until he lost control and fucked you at an inhuman-speed. 
"Moan louder!Louder!" "I…I am so…close!!" "Let go, dear." Your body responded to his words, a wave of heat coursing through you. You were so close, teetering on the edge, and his touch was sending you flying further and further out to sea.
"That's it," he murmured, his voice a low, guttural growl. His fingers moved, finding the most sensitive spot between your thighs and rubbing in small, torturous circles. "Let go for me, y/n."
You let out a soft gasp, the heat of his touch, the weight of his gaze, pushing you further and further toward that edge. Your hands curled into the bedding, pulling at the fabric as you felt the pressure building, tightening low in your stomach, growing more and more intense.
"I said, let go," Yunho repeated, his voice a low, commanding rumble. His fingers pressed against you more firmly, his touch knowing and deliberate, and you felt your body shudder, teetering on that edge for a moment, a moment that stretched and stretched, until finally…
The world crumbled around you, a tempest of sensations engulfing you, pulling you beneath its relentless waves. You breathed his name, your body arching off the sofa as a surge of searing ecstasy enveloped you. It was a deluge of rapture, consuming and blinding, leaving you momentarily adrift in a sea of pleasure, gasping for breath and gripping Yunho as if he were your only salvation. He anchored you through the storm, his eyes locked onto yours, his hands moving in a slow, deliberate rhythm. His gaze radiated a mix of pride and ownership, and he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"That's my girl," he murmured, his voice filled with satisfaction. "You're so beautiful, y/n. So damn beautiful."
He shifted, moving to lay beside you on the sofa, pulling you close against his side. His arms wrapped around you, holding you against him as he continued to murmur words of praise and possession in your ear.
"You are so good…you're mine…all mine." 
You were boneless, your limbs heavy and your breaths still coming in ragged gasps. You felt as if you were floating, drifting on a cloud of pleasure and contentment.
"Mine," he repeated again, as if to drive the point home. His hands were gentle now, his touch soft and soothing. He brushed a lock of hair from your face, his eyes filled with a tenderness that contradicted the possessiveness of his earlier words.
"And I'm going to make sure you know it," he said, his voice dropping to a low growl. He nipped at your ear, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh of your earlobe.
"No one else will ever touch you the way that I do. No one else will ever make you feel the way that I do." His hands moved down your body, a lazy touch.
"You're mine, y/n," he repeated, his voice a low, murmured promise. "For as long as I have breath in my lungs, you belong to me."
His touch was soothing now, and you felt your eyelids grow heavy, your body succumbing to the boneless exhaustion of pleasure-induced release. You snuggled closer to him, nestling your head in the crook of his shoulder, and his arms tightened around you in an embrace.
"Rest now," he murmured, his voice a low, soothing rumble. "I've got you. I've got you, and I'm never letting go."
"As you are mine, dear."
—-----
"Hey y/n, sit here!" He patted on his thigh, gesturing to you to sit on him. Well, you had no right to defend him. He had your video, how you moaned and begged under him. 
You felt your heart skip a beat at his command. His voice was firm, leaving no room for argument, and you knew instinctively that resisting would be futile. You bit your lip, your cheeks flushing with heat, but ultimately, you obeyed, settling yourself onto his lap.
"Good girl." He murmured against your ear, his hot breath landing on your bare neck. "Play a game, hm?" You could only nod, letting him rest his chin on your shoulder as he focused on the TV. But, one of his hands slowly reached down, playing the hem of your top before moving down to your clothed clit. You hissed at his sudden move, drawing all the members' attention on you. 
"Don't fucking move." He warned you with a firm tone. "Or they will know Everything." You could only bite your lips, allowing him to stir your desire once again. 
"Good girl, so good for daddy." His low whispers echoed in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. Now, you know. You could never, never, escape.
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tag list: @angelsaway, @yeosangcutie0615, @monsta-x-jagi
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